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from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras · 3 months

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It’s the Last Wídfara Wednesday! Time to get all weepy for Guthláf!

The 8th and final part of the story, in which Guthláf meets his destiny at the Pelennor Fields and Wíd has to learn how to live all over again. This feels obvious, of course, but just to be absolutely clear with everyone – Canonical Character Death ahead! The loss of Guthláf is obviously tragic, but I did work really hard to make this story not end on a bleak note. I’m proud of it and I hope it works for you! I’m so, so grateful for those who have followed along, stuck with it and given me very kind feedback. You’re the absolute best!

Prior parts can be found here (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) or all on AO3.

The next days passed for Wídfara both slowly and quickly. There were endless hours of riding – from the muster at Dunharrow to the beacon hill at Min-Rimmon, through the narrow, forested paths of the Stonewain Valley – and there were long, tense nights camped quietly in tight places where little sleep was to be found. And yet, he had only to feel the bruises still wrapped around his own throat to be reminded that they had left Helm’s Deep behind just days ago. To find themselves now deep into Gondor and in a state of readiness for another, even bigger battle after so short a time was a substantial and difficult achievement.

Still, the journey hadn’t been entirely unpleasant. Guthláf’s melancholy at Dunharrow had fully retreated, and he was his usual easy self. He chatted happily as they rode, anticipating the familiarity of an open battlefield and the excitement of representing not just his éored but his king and country on what was undoubtedly going to be the biggest stage he had ever fought on. Wídfara got his own boost when Déorwine promoted him to chief bowman of the éored, filling the role after Arengan had been left in the Westfold to recover from serious injuries at the Hornburg. Wídfara would have given the promotion back in an instant to heal Arengan, but he still felt pride to have been chosen and wondered what his parents would say to know that their son had risen from a scrappy little boy guarding herds in the rural desolation of the Wold to the top archer of the king’s own éored.

He and Guthláf rode together near the front of the company, separated only briefly when Wídfara was sent with a few others as out-riders to scout conditions as they approached Minas Tirith at last. On his return, they crossed out of the Grey Wood side by side, passing through one of the large breaches that had been made in the great wall encircling the fields outside the city. As Wídfara noted to the king himself, an encouraging scent was in the wind that morning, and the light of dawn seemed likely to break around them at any moment as the Rohirrim lined up to make their triumphant arrival to the defense of Gondor.

While they waited for other éoreds to fill in behind them, Wídfara watched Guthláf make his final battle preparations. With his reins tied to Syndrigan’s saddle, he slid his shield onto his left arm and unfurled the king’s banner, a white horse charging across a field of deep green with a glorious sun above. The reverence and care Guthláf showed whenever handling the flag never failed to move Wídfara, and a rush of feeling welled up in his chest, an overwhelming urge to tell him again what he had already heard so many times before. I love you. Wídfara swallowed the words before they escaped his lips, painfully aware of the dozens of others within hearing distance, but Guthláf’s head turned anyway, as though Wídfara’s silent devotion had somehow called his attention. He studied Wídfara’s face for a moment, and the corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile.

“I know, Wíd.” He brushed a hand quickly over his heart. “You, too.”

Before any more could be said, Théoden crossed in front of them, standing in his stirrups and giving his last exhortations. He seized Guthláf’s horn as he passed and blew a great blast that was quickly echoed by many others. With this sign, Théoden and Snowmane sprang forward and the whole army raced to follow, a mass of gleaming helmets and bristling spears. They picked up more speed and sound with each advancing hoofbeat until it seemed the entire field was flowing in one deafening wave that would sweep away anything in its path. Guthláf took a last look over at Wídfara and his lips moved again, but his words were lost to the clamor. And then he was off, shot out to his place at the front with the charging white horse streaming proudly in his wake.

Wídfara urged Cypren to give chase, taking up the battle song of their éored as they thundered ahead, and for a time, everything went exactly as it should. They descended on ranks of enemy forces that hadn’t expected or prepared for their arrival, and they clove their way through entire companies of Haradrim, who fell easily before them. Wídfara rode his charge, keeping Guthláf and the banner always in sight as he shot his arrows, and the morning sun and a bracing sea-tinged wind in his face left him feeling near invincible as he cut his way through fighters in black and red, who had begun to turn and flee.

But in the midst of their rout, a sudden shadow fell.

Before Wídfara could find its source, his horse reared up in panic, and all around him riders were thrown from the saddle or carried off as mounts bolted in the opposite direction. He managed to keep his seat through several bucking leaps, but the fourth forced him off and an errant hoof struck his helmet as he tried to gather himself. He staggered forward one or two steps before sliding to the ground as everything went dark.

When he opened his eyes again, the shadow was gone. He clawed off his helmet and rolled onto his side. How much time had elapsed was beyond his guess, and his head felt cloudy and unfocused. But somewhere within those clouds a single thought soon crystallized. Guthláf.

He pulled himself up on an elbow, the field swimming in front of him, but he heaved a deep breath and slowly his vision cleared. Dead bodies, man and horse, lay all around, along with some kind of winged beast he’d never seen before, now missing its head. He stumbled to his feet and began a frantic search among the carnage, rushing from corpse to corpse, choking back the nausea as he discovered friend after friend. The dizziness in his head and the panic in his chest threatened to send him back to unconsciousness, but he kept scrambling forward until his eyes fell at last on the body of a dappled grey horse that he knew in an instant and all the light and sound of the world fell away. He limped the last few steps around Syndrigan and pulled in a ragged breath at the sight of his deepest fear made real.

Guthláf lay on his back in a wide pool of blood, his unseeing eyes staring ahead. The staff of the banner was still in his right hand, and his left was clutched to his chest. Wídfara collapsed to his knees and seized that hand, and as he wrapped his own around it, his mother’s ring fell from Guthláf’s grip. Something inside of Wídfara broke, and a pain beyond any he had ever known or imagined flooded through him, set loose by the breaking and with nothing to stop it from overtaking him completely.

The front line of the fighting had moved on for a time, leaving an eerie temporary calm here in the center of the battlefield, and Wídfara sat alone at Guthláf’s side for long minutes, seemingly the only living soul in a circle of death. He felt weighted to the ground, his limbs like lead and the blood in his veins gone solid. Everything around him became hazy and indistinct, all but Guthláf’s face. Wídfara couldn’t tear his gaze from that face, desperate to see those pale blue eyes blink back to life, the color to return to his cheeks, the mouth to smile and speak the words that would tell him that this was merely a nightmare. A hallucination of a mind suffering from a recent blow and preying on his greatest terrors.

Into this private agony, a company of riders came, Rohirrim following the Third Marshal and his flowing horse-tailed helmet. Wídfara paid them no heed and, in fact, didn’t even register their presence until one approached to pull the banner from Guthláf’s lifeless hand. As the flag passed before his eyes, unspooling from the ground with a deep red stain soaked into the white horse emblem, another searing pain tore through him, like the burn of an open flame pressed directly to his heart. He slumped down onto Guthláf’s chest, whimpering quietly to himself and hoping only for the flame to consume him quickly, to reduce him to ashes that would have no awareness or feeling. But instead, a small hand appeared on his shoulder and shook it insistently.

“Are you hurt?”

The hand pulled him up by the spaulder, and he raised his eyes to find a small man before him. He was dressed in the gear of an esquire of Rohan but was several feet shorter than an average Rohirrim, more like the size of a child. The man stood unsteadily, one arm pressed awkwardly to his side, and looked over his shoulder at new forces of the enemy gathering in the near distance. “If you’re hurt, you should make your way into the city,” he said. “You can’t stay here like this. The battle will overrun you soon enough.”

“I don’t care,” Wídfara whispered, as much to himself as to the small stranger. He tightened his grip on Guthláf’s hand.

“This man, he was your friend? Or kinsman?”

“He’s my…He was my…” Wídfara broke off, unable to speak the truth but unwilling to say that Guthláf was anything less than he had been. A sob rose in his throat, and he looked down.

The small hand came back to his shoulder, the voice pained but firm. “I don’t think he would want you to die here today.”

Somehow, those simple words pierced the tormented haze of Wídfara’s mind and hit their mark. He knew they were true. If Guthláf still had even a single breath in his body, he would use it to push Wídfara forward. To urge him to be brave and fight his way to safety. I’m asking you to try. To give up now would be a failure of everything Guthláf would have wanted for him or for Rohan. Whatever else he felt, Wídfara knew he couldn’t let his last act be such a betrayal.

He nodded to the small esquire, who turned quietly away, and he took his last, long look at the face of the man he loved above all else. He fought back the urge to take Guthláf’s hand, now growing cold in his, and hold it to himself. Against his heart. His cheek. Anywhere that he could press it like a stamp into wax, hoping to leave behind a mark, something to carry away with him and bear for as long as possible. Instead, feeling the weight of other eyes now on him, he rewrapped Guthláf’s fingers around his mother’s ring, placed the hand gently back on his chest, and hauled himself shakily to his feet.

The rider who now carried Guthláf’s banner gestured in the direction of an available horse, its own rider dead or forced from his saddle. Wídfara mounted up and slipped into the company just as the host began to move again. All around him were cries of ‘Death!’ and the ringing of blades being drawn as they charged toward the re-formed lines of the Southrons ahead, and Wídfara urged his horse forward, following the bloodstain on that banner wherever it would lead.

The rest of the battle meant little to him. He fought hard and without fear or sensation of any kind. Something in his mind shut down, the parts of him that felt and thought going numb and leaving only the part that guided his limbs through the motions of duty. The same was true when the battle was over, when he was then marched out to the Morannon under the combined banners of the Men of the West, and when they marched back, victorious over all. The unsettling numbness only ended when they came within sight of Minas Tirith once more and he caught his first glimpse of the burial mounds that had been raised, the new hills of earth and stone where somewhere inside Guthláf would rest forever. And then he wished for the numbness again. He would have gone to his knees and begged for it, for anything that would dull the razor-sharp edges of the hurt that sliced through every part of him.

Wídfara spent the days before the host’s return to Rohan in quiet misery. As they waited for the orders of their new king, his éored camped just outside the gates of Minas Tirith. His fellow riders used the time to soak in the majesty of the city, still wondrous even after so much destruction, and to distract themselves from their own grief with the thrill of new experiences. They walked the streets, freely accepting the heartfelt congratulations and thanks of the Gondorians who had long prayed for the arrival of the Rohirrim, and they drank to their own health and good luck. But Wídfara could enjoy none of it.

The city was dull and colorless to him, as though he viewed everything through a veil that removed all the vibrancy and loveliness from the world, and he took no pleasure in the warm welcome he received when he chanced out of camp. He bridled at the people’s insistence that a glorious victory had been won when he knew himself to be drowning in an all-consuming loss. He was repeatedly told, in breathless and enthusiastic terms, how fortunate he was to have survived, and he could only stare blankly at these smiling, well-intentioned faces and wonder how anyone looking at his wretched existence would conclude that he still lived.

The return to Rohan did nothing to ease his pain. He had never known Edoras without Guthláf, and memories of him dwelt in all corners of the city. Every place he went, everywhere he looked, he somehow expected to see Guthláf there. He could see Guthláf. Laughing in the tack room at the stable. Chatting in line for sweets at the central market. Stretched out and smiling in the blankets of Wídfara’s own bed. So present and so absent all at once. Each time that he looked up with the expectation to find Guthláf in front of him or had the reflexive impulse to share a thought or feeling with him, the sharp and swift correction of reality chipped away another small part of his spirit, which he felt growing ever thinner and more fragile.

He took to spending long hours curled up in his room in the dark, alone except for Guthláf’s dog, Slaga, who would accept no other guardian. He ignored the regular knocks on his door and the calling of his name, even when the voice doing the calling was Elfhelm himself. He longed for his mother, who alone could perhaps have given him the comfort he needed, but she was so separated from him by distance and expense that he had no way even to tell her what had happened. Everyone else he kept at arm’s length, avoiding them or making excuses and slipping away as needed rather than struggling through a conversation that he didn’t know how to have.

He left his room only when called by duty or to occasionally retrieve Slaga, who developed a habit of slipping away from the barracks to take up a watch at the stables, patiently waiting by Syndrigan’s old stall for Guthláf’s return. The sixth or seventh time it happened, Wídfara decided to leave the dog there and allow him to wait it out in the barn. Two days later, he was awakened in the night by scratching at his door, and when the little dog slunk in and curled up sadly in his lap, the extinguishing of the final hope for Guthláf felt like a whole new loss to mourn.

Wídfara’s primary duty in those first few weeks was to attend the funerals that began soon after their return to the city. Though their fallen riders would remain forever in the fields outside Minas Tirith, the new king set aside official days of mourning to honor their dead at home, and funerals without bodies were held in cities and villages across the Mark. The losses in Théoden’s éored had been particularly heavy, so many having fallen victim to the same force of evil that menaced Théoden’s own last moments, and for a time it seemed the stretch of funerals in Edoras would be endless. There was death on a scale that hadn’t been seen since the Long Winter of Helm Hammerhand’s reign and an equal number of lingering injuries and traumas.

Wídfara attended every funeral of his éored, forcing himself to remember each man specifically even as there was only ever one man he wanted in his thoughts. He listened to the moving remembrances and the painful tears of parents, friends, and commanding officers, and he sang as various dirges and hymns were offered to honor the fallen and to call on Ácith to escort them to the halls of their fathers. But most of all, he watched the widows, grieving openly and fully, as they accepted the traditional offering of gratitude in acknowledgment of their suffering. A senior rider spoke each sentence of the pledge, repeated by every remaining member of the company.

“Dredda, we thank you for sharing Déorwine with us…We are humbled by the sacrifice that you’ve made…We pledge to you that it was not made in vain…In his life and in his death, he made Rohan a stronger and prouder kingdom.”

“Serugimm, we thank you for sharing Harding with us…”

“Eadhild, we thank you for sharing Herefara with us…”

“Wenebyrd, we thank you for sharing Fastred with us…”

“Luftmeda, we thank you for sharing Herubrand with us…”

He heard the words so many times that they ran through his sleep at night, haunting even his resting mind. And each time he said them, and each time he followed them by taking his place in the line to offer an individual expression of thanks and support to these bereaved women, he fought to keep the jealousy from his heart. For all the pain the women felt, they at least had the solace of occupying a recognized role. No one questioned a widow’s mourning. No one wondered why tears were always moments away or begrudged her a day where she couldn’t stand to see other people’s happiness. But he had to keep those same feelings in himself obscured beneath a veneer of acceptability, a false show of grief that would match expectations for someone who had lost a friend rather than an irreplaceable part of his own soul.

He felt keenly the alienating loneliness that Guthláf had foreseen back in their tent in Dunharrow those weeks ago. The burden now lay on his memories alone to keep all knowledge of their love from being wiped clean from the world, washed away like footprints after a rain. There was no one else who knew that Guthláf adored Wídfara’s dimples or that it had delighted Wídfara to discover that Guthláf was ticklish behind his knees. No one else who knew the silly things they laughed about just between themselves or the ways they each liked to be touched. No one else who knew that Guthláf was desperately nervous to make a good impression on Wídfara’s mother if they could ever meet, or that Wídfara dreamed of taking Guthláf someday to see the ocean and to wade together in its warm shallows.

Just one other person around him who understood and acknowledged all that he had lost could have helped pull Wídfara from the furthest depths of his grief, to wrest him back toward the light that glinted on the surface above his head. But he had only the cold, nameless currents of the deep clawing at his feet, tugging him further down into the dark unknown.

Guthláf’s funeral was the éored’s last and also its largest. All the city seemed to be in attendance – riders from all the éoreds of Edoras, the regulars from Guthláf’s favorite tavern, the women from the market where he always bought the cakes and treats that were his weakness, the young boys who idolized his riding skill and had followed him around the stable like a mythic figure from history. Had Wídfara been able to think clearly, he would have been moved to see the outpouring of affection for Guthláf, but it was all he could do to remind himself just to continue drawing breath, to find a way to live through yet another phase of this ongoing nightmare.

The ceremony was held by the barrows outside the city gates, and a gentle breeze wafted the smell of apple blossoms across the rows of hay bales and other makeshift chairs. The scent reminded Wídfara of his first night with Guthláf, when they had shared a bottle of apple mead, and he wondered if he would ever again be able to think of those happy memories without feeling as though he was pressing on an open wound. He made his way to a seat near the front, friends of his and Guthláf filling in the spaces around him, and kept his head down, allowing the curtains of his loose hair to obscure any view of the tears sliding over his cheeks and off his chin.

The service began, and Wídfara worked to maintain his calm by silently counting his own breaths as rites and traditions unfolded around him. There were songs and short speeches, and Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth, acting as representative of Gondor at all the war-related funerals of Edoras, offered a blessing on behalf of the Gondorians and their king. Cups of mead were passed from person to person as the names of Guthláf’s ancestors were recited and their care sought in welcoming him to the halls of his forebears. A bier was placed in his family’s barrow where his body would have lain, the frame empty but for the banner marked with his blood that had been recovered from the rider who bore it through the remainder of the war.

Finally, Elfhelm rose to speak, taking up a place on a small podium at the front of the crowd.

“As most of you likely know, Guthláf lost the family of his birth in the Great Fire of 3006. Just fifteen years old, he found himself suddenly without parents or siblings or even grandparents. And when a tragedy of that nature happens, there are two ways a person can react. They can keep the love they had for those they lost and hold it all inside, until eventually it curdles into anger and bitterness. Or they can take that love and let it out, finding new ways to use it and new people to give it to. And that’s what Guthláf, a man of many talents, was the very best at. He gave all of his love to us. To his friends, his éored, his country. And we loved him back.” Elfhelm’s voice trembled, and he paused for a moment to collect himself before continuing. “His first family was cruelly taken from him, and that might have broken a lesser man. But he worked hard to build a new family for himself. He was like a son to some of us. A brother to many. A treasured friend to all. And much more than that to one.”

Those last words caught in Wídfara’s ear, and he looked up from the handkerchief he had been twisting back and forth in his hands. Elfhelm’s eyes seemed to be on him, though he immediately turned his gaze as he continued.

“Guthláf never married, but that doesn’t mean he was alone. He kept that part of his life private, but it’s almost impossible to hide love when it’s been found at last. You can see it in someone’s eyes and in their smile. In the way their gaze is constantly drawn to the object of their devotion. In their instinct to protect that person and their labors to make them happy. He was in love, I can tell you that. And it feels only right to me that the sacrifice and courage of the one he loved so well be recognized here today, in keeping with our traditions.” His eyes swept across the mourners, stopping again briefly, almost imperceptibly, on Wídfara as they went. “If such recognition would be welcome.”

A wave of dizziness hit Wídfara, and he pressed his boots into the grass in an attempt to steady himself. Elfhelm’s words had been simple enough, but he struggled to make sense of them nonetheless. He could only discern a single meaning, but it was one that couldn’t be right. He stared up at the marshal, seeking some indication of whether he had misunderstood, but Elfhelm now studiously avoided looking in his direction. Wídfara’s mind raced, rearranging Elfhelm’s words and pulling them apart, looking at them from different directions and angles. And yet he kept arriving back at the same conclusions, no matter how unbelievable: Elfhelm knew their secret. He accepted it. And he thought that Wídfara could now acknowledge that secret to everyone else.

Of course he had long dreamed of the chance to do just that, to claim openly what had always been his in private. They both had, though only Guthláf had been brave enough to ever imagine it was possible. Why should they care if we love each other? I don’t think they will. Not the ones that matter, at least. Now, it seemed, there was a chance to see him proved right and to put an end to the secrecy and hiding for good. An end to acting like the most cherished part of Wídfara’s life was something to be ashamed of. The idea was powerfully tempting, and he was certain Elfhelm would never intentionally lead him into harm. But a lifetime of fear and caution couldn’t be simply shrugged off in an instant, and he found that his feet wouldn’t move as much as he might want them to. Instead he sat, caught between terror and hope, paralyzed with indecision.

And then he felt a hand on his arm, just a light squeeze. It came from Arengan, seated on his left. He smiled gently at Wídfara and inclined his head up toward the podium. Another light nudge came from the right, where Freogan sat, and then more hands briefly clapped onto his shoulders from the row behind. Quiet, encouraging words were whispered from seats a little further off. He turned slowly only to find other expectant faces looking his way, somehow already aware of what he and Guthláf had always feared to share and watching him now with both kindness and pity.

A sharp, clear certainty took sudden shape in his heart, spoken in a beloved voice. These are good people, and they can bear an unfamiliar idea. He could do this. He would do this. He rose slowly and crossed the small distance to the podium where Elfhelm stood. A murmur of shocked confusion rippled through parts of the crowd, but Elfhelm silenced it with a stern glance. Then he smiled at Wídfara, put a strong arm around his shoulders and gestured for everyone to stand. Hundreds of people rose, leaving only pockets of quiet resistance still in their seats.

“Wídfara, we thank you for sharing Guthláf with us…”

A wall of voices echoed back Elfhelm’s words – voices of fast friends and of teary-eyed strangers, those who knew and loved Wídfara and those who just wanted to honor what Guthláf had known and loved. Wídfara heard each one as a precious gift, another soul to stand alongside his in honoring the truth of Guthláf’s life and the role that he had played in it. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but for the first time since that awful day, they weren’t solely tears of sorrow. Amidst his grief there was also relief for himself and pride for Guthláf and gratitude for Elfhelm and those who now saw him as he was. The enormous weight that had sat on his chest for weeks eased ever so slightly, not because his grief was lessened but because, at last, the burden of it was shared.

More than anything else, Wídfara felt his overwhelming love for Guthláf. Of all the kind and supportive faces looking back at him now, Guthláf had brought nearly every one into his life. He had made the first introductions, smoothed away the shyness, lent Wídfara his own good favor by making him a part of all that he did. It had always been Guthláf, easing his way at every turn, riding at the leading edge and signaling the direction so that Wídfara could follow.

All of this washed over him as he listened to the rest of the recitation and then as a whole column of people lined up to offer him individual words of comfort and support. He cried and smiled, and sometimes both at once, as he spoke to each person, some of whom were surprised but understanding and others who professed to have long known or, at least, suspected. To talk so freely and openly about Guthláf — the whole Guthláf — brought a warmth and fullness back into Wídfara that he wouldn’t have thought possible only an hour before, and he stood a little taller and a little stronger with each person to embrace him.

At last, at the very end of the line, came Elfhelm once again.

“I would have understood if you had decided to keep silent,” he said, “but I’m glad that you didn’t. You deserved the recognition, son. Both of you did. He was a good man, and he wanted this acknowledgment for you. If anyone gives you any trouble, you just let me know. I won’t stand for it.”

“Thank you, Marshal. I know that’s not nearly enough, but I can’t find any other words right now.”

“I know, son. You don’t have to worry about that.” Elfhelm wrapped his arms around Wídfara and thumped a big fist against his back. “All I need to hear is that you’re alright.”

Wídfara took a long, deep breath and brushed a few tears from his cheeks. “I will be,” he said. And for Guthláf’s sake, he would make it true.

Random/self-indulgent notes:

It’s canon that Éomer & co. were ignoring Merry while they were dealing with Théoden’s death, so why couldn’t he have been talking to Wíd during that brief time???

Ácith is a Rohirric name (“Ever Young”) for Vána, the wife of Oromë/Béma. Flowers bloom in her wake, and so my Rohirrim believe that the consistent appearance of simbelmynë on their graves is evidence that she personally comes to escort their dead to the halls of their fathers.

All the names of the fallen from Guthláf and Wíd’s éored come from the Mounds of Mundburg song at the end of Chapter 6 of ROTK. (Guthláf’s name is also in the song, 1 of the 3 specific references to him in the LOTR text.) Of course, the wives are invented.

Is it cheap grace to present many of the Rohirrim as accepting of Wíd and Guthláf being gay? I don’t think so. There is plenty of textual evidence that the Rohirrim are more progressive than their overall culture reflects, and they readily accept change when it’s presented to them. No one but Háma thought to put Éowyn in charge, but they loved the idea when he suggested it. No one let Éowyn join the army, but Elfhelm (and presumably a lot of his men!) actively chose to let her stay when he found her there. Éomer didn’t realize what life was like for women in Rohan, but when Gandalf explained it, he didn’t argue or get defensive – he listened and reevaluated.

So I think this is canonically defensible. They had a culture where there was no acknowledged place for queerness, and that allowed a lot of fear to develop in the silence. But some of them could see there was something between Guthláf and Wíd (despite best efforts, they were occasionally spotted coming and going from each other’s rooms at odd times; neither showed any real interest in women but were clearly devoted to each other; both were seen going to pieces at some point when the other one was at risk), so some folks were used to that idea before anyone ever dared to speak it out loud. And others, even if they had no clue, could still roll with it when they found out because they already loved Guthláf and/or Wíd as people and they were open minded enough to see that this didn’t really change anything. Throw in a universally respected dude like Elfhelm signaling his own support, and that brings even more people along. Plus, I’m not writing tragedy porn here, so I needed a note of hope to end on!

(Also, in case anyone is curious, do I think Guthláf told Elfhelm he was gay? Yes, I think he saw Elfhelm late at night in Dunharrow, Elfhelm asked him what was wrong, and Guthláf blurted out everything to his beloved mentor. And then I think Elfhelm said, “duh,” because it had already been obvious to him and he had only been waiting for the guys to feel comfortable saying something. So Elfhelm was not at all surprised – or bothered, because Elfhelm’s number one canonical character trait is to support other people doing their thing. I think Elfhelm told Guthláf that he’d happily back him up if/when he and Wíd decided to go public.)

Thanks as always to @quillofspirit for the lovely Rohan-fied dividers!

@emmanuellececchi @hobbitwrangler @konartiste @sotwk @dreambigdreamz

#guthláf #wídfara #rohirrim #obscure blorbos #horse boys in love #lotr #lord of the rings #guthlaf #widfara

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These centers offer a range of amenities and services that go beyond traditional rehab facilities, catering to the needs and preferences of their discerning clientele. From spa treatments and gourmet meals to yoga classes and meditation sessions, luxury de-addiction centers provide a holistic approach to recovery that addresses the mind, body, and spirit.

Benefits of Luxury De-addiction Centers

One of the key benefits of luxury de-addiction centers is the individualized treatment plans they offer. Each patient receives personalized care and attention from a team of experienced professionals, including therapists, counselors, and medical staff.

Moreover, these centers adopt a holistic approach to recovery, addressing not only the physical aspects of addiction but also the underlying emotional and psychological issues. Through a combination of therapy, counseling, and alternative treatments, patients are able to heal and grow on a deeper level.

Top Luxury De-addiction Centers in India

India is home to some of the finest luxury de-addiction centers in the world, each offering world-class facilities and amenities in breathtaking settings. From the tranquil hills of Uttarakhand to the sun-kissed beaches of Goa, these centers provide the perfect backdrop for healing and renewal.

Some of the top luxury de-addiction centers in India include The Sanctum wellness in Mumbai, Anatta Humanversity in Pune, and The Cabin Chiang Mai in Thailand (with a dedicated India program). These centers boast state-of-the-art facilities, expert staff, and a proven track record of success.

What to Expect During Your Stay

During your stay at a luxury de-addiction center, you can expect to participate in a variety of therapeutic activities designed to promote healing and self-discovery. From individual counseling sessions and group therapy to art therapy and adventure activities, there is something for everyone to enjoy.

In addition to the therapeutic aspects of treatment, luxury de-addiction centers also offer comfortable accommodations and gourmet dining options. Patients are able to relax and rejuvenate in a serene and supportive environment, free from the distractions and stresses of everyday life.

Costs and Insurance Coverage

While the cost of treatment at a luxury de-addiction center may be higher than traditional rehab facilities, many centers offer flexible pricing models and financial assistance options to accommodate a wide range of budgets. Additionally, some insurance plans may cover all or part of the cost of treatment, depending on the individual's policy.

It is important to thoroughly research and inquire about pricing and insurance coverage options before committing to a luxury de-addiction center. By doing so, you can ensure that you are able to access the care and support you need without undue financial burden.

How to Choose the Right Luxury De-addiction Center

When choosing a luxury de-addiction center, there are several factors to consider, including location, facilities, treatment approach, and cost. It is also important to seek recommendations from trusted sources, such as healthcare professionals or former patients, and to visit the center in person if possible.

Additionally, it can be helpful to speak with admissions staff and ask questions about the program, staff qualifications, success rates, and aftercare services. By taking the time to research and explore your options, you can find the right luxury de-addiction center for your needs and preferences.

Overcoming the Stigma of Luxury Treatment

Despite the many benefits of luxury de-addiction centers, there can still be stigma and misconceptions surrounding the idea of seeking treatment in a luxurious setting. Some may view it as indulgent or unnecessary, while others may worry about being judged or labeled for seeking help.

However, it is important to remember that addiction is a medical condition that requires professional treatment and support, regardless of where it takes place. By choosing to prioritize your health and well-being, you are taking an important step towards reclaiming your life and finding freedom from addiction.

Testimonials from Former Patients

To gain insight into the transformative power of luxury de-addiction centers, it can be helpful to hear from those who have experienced them firsthand. Former patients often share stories of hope, healing, and personal growth, highlighting the positive impact that these centers can have on their lives.

Whether it's overcoming addiction, rebuilding relationships, or rediscovering a sense of purpose, the testimonials of former patients serve as a powerful reminder that recovery is possible and that there is hope for a brighter future.

Aftercare and Support Services

Recovery from addiction is a lifelong journey that requires ongoing care and support. After completing treatment at a luxury de-addiction center, patients are encouraged to participate in aftercare programs and support groups to help them maintain their sobriety and continue their journey of healing.

These programs may include individual counseling, group therapy, relapse prevention planning, and alumni events. By staying connected to a supportive community of peers and professionals, individuals can navigate the challenges of recovery with confidence and resilience.

Conclusion

In conclusion, luxury de-addiction centers in India offer a unique and effective approach to overcoming addiction, providing comprehensive treatment programs in a supportive and nurturing environment. By addressing the underlying causes of addiction and promoting holistic healing, these centers empower individuals to reclaim their lives and find freedom from addiction.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, don't hesitate to reach out for help. With the support of a luxury de-addiction center, you can embark on a journey of recovery and transformation that will change your life for the better.

FAQs

What makes luxury de-addiction centers different from traditional rehab centers? Luxury de-addiction centers offer upscale accommodations and amenities, as well as individualized treatment plans tailored to meet the unique needs of each patient.

Are luxury de-addiction centers only for wealthy individuals? While luxury de-addiction centers may have higher costs than traditional rehab facilities, many offer financial assistance options and accept insurance to make treatment more accessible.

How long does the treatment typically last? The duration of treatment at a luxury de-addiction center can vary depending on the individual's needs and progress. Programs may range from several weeks to several months.

Is family involvement encouraged during the treatment process? Yes, many luxury de-addiction centers offer family therapy and support services to involve loved ones in the recovery process and address any family dynamics that may contribute to addiction.

Are there any age restrictions for admission to luxury de-addiction centers? Most luxury de-addiction centers accept patients of all ages, provided they meet the criteria for admission and are committed to participating in the treatment program.

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shadidanin · 6 months

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The Ultimate Solution for Hair Loss: Laser Hair Restoration Treatment in Brighton

In a bustling city like Brighton, where trends and innovations thrive, it’s no surprise that cutting-edge solutions for various concerns are readily available. One such concern that many individuals face, regardless of age or gender, is hair loss. Whether due to genetics, hormonal changes, or other factors, losing hair can significantly impact one’s self-esteem and overall well-being. However, amidst the array of treatments available, there’s one solution that stands out as the ultimate remedy for hair loss: Shadidanin Laser Hair Restoration Treatment.

Hair loss is a common issue that affects millions worldwide, and it often leads to feelings of self-consciousness and insecurity. Fortunately, advancements in medical technology have paved the way for effective solutions to combat this problem. Among these innovations, laser hair restoration has emerged as a revolutionary treatment option that offers promising results without the need for invasive procedures or harsh chemicals.

The Laser Hair Restoration Treatment, now available in Brighton, represents the pinnacle of hair loss solutions. Utilizing state-of-the-art laser technology, this treatment targets the root cause of hair loss while stimulating natural hair growth. Unlike conventional methods that may provide temporary relief or require ongoing maintenance, Shadidanin’s approach offers a long-term solution that promotes healthy hair growth from within.

So, how does Shadi Danin Laser Hair Restoration Treatment work its magic? The process begins with a thorough assessment by skilled professionals who tailor the treatment plan to meet each individual’s unique needs. By precisely targeting the affected areas with low-level laser therapy (LLLT), stimulates blood circulation to the scalp, nourishing hair follicles and encouraging regrowth.

One of the key advantages of Shadidanin’s approach is its non-invasive nature. Unlike surgical procedures that may involve incisions and lengthy recovery periods, laser hair restoration is painless and requires no downtime. Patients can resume their daily activities immediately after each session, making it a convenient option for those with busy schedules.

Moreover, the Laser Hair Restoration Treatment is suitable for individuals of all ages and hair types. Whether you’re experiencing early signs of hair loss or have more advanced concerns, this treatment can help you regain confidence and achieve thicker, fuller hair. It’s a versatile solution that addresses various types of alopecia, including male and female pattern baldness.

Another noteworthy aspect of Shadidanin’s approach is its effectiveness in promoting hair growth even in challenging areas such as the crown and temples. By delivering targeted laser energy to these specific regions, Shadidanin stimulate dormant hair follicles, leading to visible improvements in hair density and coverage over time.

Furthermore, Laser Hair Restoration Treatment is backed by extensive research and clinical studies, demonstrating its safety and efficacy in combating hair loss. With a track record of success and countless satisfied patients, it’s no wonder that this treatment has become synonymous with excellence in hair restoration.

In addition to its remarkable results, Laser Hair Restoration Treatment offers a holistic approach to addressing hair loss. Beyond the physical benefits of regaining hair growth, many patients report improvements in self-esteem and overall quality of life. With renewed confidence in their appearance, they’re able to embrace life more fully and pursue their goals with newfound vigor.

In Conclusion, for those seeking the ultimate solution for hair loss in Brighton, Shadidanin Laser Hair Restoration Treatment stands as a beacon of hope. With its cutting-edge technology, personalized approach, and proven results, it offers a path to thicker, fuller hair and renewed self-assurance. Say goodbye to hair loss woes and hello to a brighter, more confident future with Shadidanin’s innovative treatment in Brighton.

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apratments · 7 months

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What is the significance of Birla Ojasvi?

Unveiling the Significance of Birla Ojasvi

Birla Ojasvi, a name that resonates with tranquility, balance, and holistic well-being, is a testament to the enduring legacy of the Birla Group’s commitment to excellence and innovation. Nestled amidst serene landscapes and verdant surroundings, Birla Ojasvi embodies the essence of a harmonious lifestyle, offering a sanctuary for those seeking rejuvenation, revitalization, and inner peace. Join us on a journey as we unravel the significance of Birla Ojasvi and delve into its transformative impact on mind, body, and soul.

Embracing the Philosophy of Wellness: Birla Ojasvi

At the heart of Birla Ojasvi lies a profound philosophy rooted in the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda, yoga, and holistic healing. Drawing inspiration from centuries-old traditions and practices, Birla Ojasvi endeavors to create a nurturing environment that fosters physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. From tranquil meditation spaces to lush green gardens, every aspect of Birla Ojasvi is designed to harmonize with nature and promote balance and vitality.

Holistic Approach to Health and Healing

Birla Ojasvi offers a comprehensive range of wellness therapies, treatments, and programs tailored to meet guests’ diverse needs and preferences. Whether seeking relief from stress and anxiety or looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, Birla Ojasvi provides a holistic approach to health and healing. From rejuvenating spa therapies and yoga sessions to personalized wellness consultations and nutritional counseling, guests can embark on a path toward optimal health and vitality.

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As stewards of the environment, Birla Ojasvi is committed to promoting sustainable living practices and minimizing its ecological footprint. Every aspect of Birla Ojasvi is designed with sustainability in mind, from eco-friendly construction materials to energy-efficient systems and renewable energy sources. Guests are invited to immerse themselves in the beauty of nature, explore organic gardens, and participate in eco-conscious activities that promote environmental awareness and conservation.

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Birla Ojasvi offers a unique opportunity for guests to immerse themselves in India’s rich cultural heritage and spiritual traditions. From traditional Ayurvedic rituals and meditation practices to cultural workshops and performances, guests can embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and enlightenment. Whether experiencing the vibrant colors of a traditional dance performance or participating in a sacred fire ceremony, Birla Ojasvi offers many opportunities for cultural immersion and spiritual exploration.

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At Birla Ojasvi, community engagement and social responsibility are integral to its mission and values. Through various outreach programs and initiatives, Birla Ojasvi strives to empower local communities, support sustainable development, and promote social welfare. From education and healthcare to environmental conservation and rural development, Birla Ojasvi is committed to positively impacting society and creating a better world for future generations.

Conclusion,

In conclusion, Birla Ojasvi is not just a destination; it’s a sanctuary for the mind, body, and soul. With its holistic approach to wellness, commitment to sustainability, and dedication to cultural immersion and community engagement, Birla Ojasvi stands as a beacon of hope and inspiration in an increasingly fast-paced and disconnected world. So come, embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, and experience the transformative power of Birla Ojasvi firsthand.

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Birla Ojasvi in Bangalore is a testament to a luxurious dwelling in the heart of Bangalore. With number 2 and three-bedroom apartments designed to cater to various preferences, the venture offers a perfect combination of comfort, aesthetics, and present-day facilities. While the price of residing in Birla RR Nagar in Bangalore reflects the top-rate nature of the improvement, the investment potential and the first-rate existence it guarantees make it a compelling preference for the ones seeking to make extended-term funding in Bangalorean’s actual property marketplace.

Related Links

Birla Ojasvi RR Nagar

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Lodha Bannerghatta

Birla Advaya RR Nagar

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shifty-looking-sheep · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Kaidan Alenko, Ashley Williams, Conrad Verner Additional Tags: Mass Effect 1, Fluff, Embarrassment, Teasing, acknowledging feelings, blurting out feelings

Summary:

Kaidan tries to deal with the most embarrassing moment of his adult life, and Ashley tries to make it difficult.

“The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they’re careful with newcomers.”

Shepard looked out over the ward arm, awe and fascination shining from her face as the lights of the buildings, skycars, and stars reflected in her eyes. Kaidan quickly looked away as he caught himself staring.

“They probably just want to keep everything running,” Kaidan reasoned. “It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together.”

Ash quietly snorted. “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.”

Kaidan got ready to jump in with something diplomatic, but Shepard got there first.

“Why not? We’ve got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love…” Shepard said, smiling, as she looked back across the ward arms. Kaidan turned to look at her face in profile, etching the silhouette into his brain. “According to the old vids, we’ve got everything they want.”

From someone else, he might have thought it a sarcastic comment; frustrated, almost. But her tone seemed sincere, and her introspective smile made him think she was genuinely hopeful. That was… unexpected.

“When you put it that way,” he said, playfully, “there’s no reason they wouldn’t like you… I mean, us! Humans! … Ma’am…”

Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! What had just tumbled out of his mouth? The bottom dropped out of his stomach as he looked over at Shepard, but his view was blocked by Ash, whose look of surprise quickly turned to mischievous glee. He speedily looked away in excruciating embarrassment.

“You don’t take much shore leave do you, LT?”

The mirth in Ashley's voice prompted him to screw his eyes shut, thoroughly humiliated and wishing he was literally anywhere else. It was that very specific feeling of self-loathing when the wrongness of something you’ve just said is wedged in your gut. What a complete and utter idiot! Had he honestly just implied, to his CO’s face, that he thought she was beautiful? He felt like a college freshman accidentally letting slip that he had a crush on his professor. To his professor. First, he activates some ancient beacon on Eden Prime, and she has to throw him out of the way, and now he admits he thinks she’s beautiful. He’ll be lucky if he’s not transferred off the Normandy by the end of the Citadel’s day cycle. Or worse, the butt of every joke made in the Normandy mess for the remainder of the mission. He can hear them now: Seems Alenko likes powerful women – surprised he hasn’t made a move on the Dalatrass; Is it just Shepard he’s interested in, or does he chase after anyone with a Star of Terra? What’s Alenko’s favourite sexual position? – CO.

“Alright, laugh it up, Chief,” Shepard said, ever so slightly admonishingly. She turned to Kaidan and he tried to read her expression and failed. Entirely neutral commander-face, but not without empathy.

“I appreciate the thought, Alenko, but we’re on duty here.”

“Aaa…” he paused. She appreciates the thought?! What did that mean?! She appreciates a compliment, or she appreciates a compliment from him? No, for god’s sake he needed to pull himself together and move on from this hiccup. He’d just mortified himself with a Freudian slip; this wasn’t the time to start reading into every word Shepard said. He needed a total reset. She wasn’t a romantic prospect; she was his boss. Mind on the mission, Lieutenant.

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” he managed to croak out, feeling a blush rising to his cheeks.

He heard Ash fighting back a laugh. “I’ll walk drag, ma’am.”

He opened his eyes to glare at her, but she just waggled her eyebrows in response. Thankfully Shepard didn’t see it, and didn’t respond to Ash’s jibe. He didn’t know if he’d expected her to. In their only real conversation so far, Shepard had been friendly and sincere, if a little… detached? Self-conscious of her new rank, perhaps? This had been her first time as an XO, and then promoted to CO almost immediately, so perhaps she wasn’t sure how familiar to be with her officers? Anderson hadn’t exactly been a stickler for protocol and rank, but he’d probably have chewed the Chief out for a comment like that. Perhaps Shepard found Kaidan's slip-up funny as well, but he suspected she just had a higher tolerance for a little off-topic chat than most commanding officers.

The Commander had already turned and was making her way across the walkway to the market area. She was striding purposefully, but not overly quickly. Her earlier comments about the Citadel seemed to imply that this was her first visit, and despite there being a job for them to do, she was still a tourist. He caught her turn to look at a group who were chatting near the entrance to a club: two elcor, two asari and a volus. It wasn’t a stare; just a curious glance. Interested in alien culture then? Or simply not been around so many different races before?

He was pulled out of his musings by the sound of giggling over his left shoulder, and he turned to see Ash’s grinning face shaking back and forth.

Kaidan’s face flushed an even deeper scarlet. He’d been staring again, and now that Ash was on to him, he needed to get it together.

No! Not ‘on to him’. There was nothing to be ‘on to’. He didn’t have a crush on Shepard. He was 32; he didn’t have inappropriate crushes like a 20-year-old. He was just dispassionately interested in an interesting person. It made sense to learn as much as you could about your CO, right? It would help him work with her on the battlefield; be able to anticipate her movements. And knowing something about her background and values would allow him to anticipate what she’d likely prioritise, what advice she’d appreciate, how he could best support her…

So far, she’d been a little difficult to read. Anderson had been an open book; his service history told the story of a driven soldier and born leader. Beloved by those under his command, and promoted steadily through hard work and frequent commendations. He kept an appropriate, professional distance from the rest of the crew; didn’t give personal details but radiated a warmth and genuine friendliness that made you feel like you knew him. He made his expectations of the crew very clear and was a straight-shooter. Clearly not a political man. A soldier’s soldier.

But Shepard… he couldn’t tell yet. She’d been round the ship talking to everyone already; learnt names; checked on everyone after Eden Prime. So, caring then. But she also hadn’t really said anything about herself, and her demeanour was entirely unreadable. Not stony; certainly not icy, but not exactly open either.

He’d looked up her service history when he’d joined the Normandy, since he wanted to know who he was working for. Unlike Anderson’s, hers was a little harder to decipher. She’d joined the Alliance early, excelled in combat training, had a number of commendations from various high-profile missions: she'd kept her CO alive during a raid on a red-sand smuggling base out in the Terminus; single-handedly held off the smugglers until the extraction team could make it to them. It’s the sort of stuff the Alliance made a big song and dance about; they obviously had after her heroics on Elysium. But this earlier heroic moment seemed to have slipped under the radar. Maybe Shepard hadn’t wanted to be made the centre of a media circus? It would have taken a strong will to have denied the Alliance’s media department a new poster girl. The thought made him smirk.

“Seriously, LT?” Ash whispered. “You made it about five minutes there before you got that goofy heart-eyes look again. I feel bad teasing you about it; it’s too easy to be fun.”

He gave her a look he hoped was serious and annoyed enough to put an end to it. He was technically her superior officer, after all. She didn’t seem deterred though, meeting his look head on with a satisfied smirk.

Had he really gone back to thinking about Shepard so quickly? Maybe Ashley had a point. Shit. This was bad.

While he’d been in his head trying to rationalise his now undeniable fascination with his CO, Kaidan hadn’t noticed that they’d made a detour past the group of aliens and up towards the club: ‘Flux’, the sign read. The sound of bass and chat reached them from down the corridor, but not too loud. It seemed that this early in the day it was mostly gamblers and drinkers rather than the partying crowd.

They made it through the doorway into a fairly small bar area. Shepard started looking around, then stopped as her eyes lighted on the bartender who was waving her over. Kaidan and Ash held back by the doors; there was little fear of a fight breaking out somewhere as public as this, and stomping around a bar in full combat armour toting several different guns apiece didn’t tend to make the punters comfortable. A few had already given them some looks ranging from mildly curious to extremely worried.

“So, this is an interesting development.”

Ash was looking at him and smiling, but not unkindly. He crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, fidgeting with them at his sides before deciding to cross them again. This topic didn’t need to make him feel nervous; he just needed to convince the Chief that it had been a simple slip-of-the-tongue, and they could move on and away from his humiliation.

Ash leaned in conspiratorially. “For what it’s worth, I think you two would be cute together. And your kids would be gorgeous!”

He groaned, and put his hand to his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on.

“It’s not… I don’t... I mean...”

Ashley raised an eyebrow and gave him a pointed look. “Hmmm, sure.”

Kaidan sighed. “Buy you a drink if you promise not to tell anyone on the Normandy about my foot-in-mouth disease.”

“Oooo, I don’t know about that, LT. I might need to be a pretty fancy cocktail to buy my silence.”

“Worth it.”

It would have to wait for another time though, as Shepard was making her way back to them at the doors. They followed along behind her as they made their way back down the corridor.

“We need to drop by a club called Chora's Den after we’re done with Chorban,” she sighed. “The bartender’s sister is a C-Sec informant, and it looks like she might be in trouble. It’ll give us a chance to drop in on this ‘Fist’ character as well.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Ash and Kaidan replied in unison.

They approached the far end of the walkway and started making their way across the upper market. If their informant was correct, Chorban should be in the lower market. They had no idea what to expect, but he could well be armed and dangerous. Kaidan didn’t like meeting in such a public and crowded place, but he trusted Shepard’s judgement that she could fix this with diplomacy. As they peeled their way through the crowd, Kaidan clocked someone at the top of the stairs looking in their direction. Human, male, possibly in his late 40s, and eyes fixed on Shepard. Kaidan put his hand on his sidearm.

“Wow! It’s you!”

The man waved and took a step forward, partially blocking their way down the stairs. Shepard’s shoulders tensed, but she walked over to the man without taking a defensive posture. Kaidan’s hand remained on his pistol.

“You’re Commander Shepard!” the man said, in a voice dripping in sycophantic joy. “The hero of Eden Prime! I am so honoured to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you.” Shepard shook the man’s hand firmly, a slightly forced smile on her face but a friendly tone to her voice. Kaidan guessed this wasn’t the first time this had happened, considering how high-profile she was. “And you are…?”

“My name is Conrad. Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime!”

The man didn’t seem like a threat, and Kaidan relaxed a little, but he didn’t like the desperation in his voice, or the dark feeling of dislike he immediately felt for this man.

Shepard shrugged. “I spent most of the time trying to stay alive and help the colonists.”

Conrad nodded, but in that way that makes it seem like you didn’t hear anything the person just said. Kaidan glanced at the time on his omnitool. This wasn’t really a distraction they needed just before they walked into what could be a firefight.

“Hey, I know you’re pretty busy,” Conrad said, “but do you have time for a quick autograph?”

Shepard seemed a little embarrassed, as a slight blush coloured the side of her cheek. Her skin was already a warm coffee-colour, but with the blush she looked… stunning.

Ash leaned in close enough to whisper without the Commander overhearing. “How does it feel to see the competition. For my money, I think you probably have the edge.”

Kaidan turned his shocked intake of breath into a cough, and looked daggers at Ashley. Again. But then, she’d also got him pegged: he had felt the tiniest spark of jealousy. What was happening to him?!

Shepard had just finished signing the datapad that Conrad had pressed into her hands, and handed it back with a smile.

“Anything for a fan. Here.”

“Thanks,” Conrad said, his eyes out on stalks as he stared at the datapad. “I really appreciate it. My… wife is going to be so impressed.”

Ash rolled her eyes.

“I’ll let you get back to work, but next time you’re on Earth, I’d love to buy you a drink. Thanks again!”

Kaidan followed the Commander towards the stairs down to the lower markets, as Conrad walked in the other direction. Ash was typing something on her omnitool, and Kaidan got the ping of a message a moment later.

Figure you’re going to be that guy in 20 years?

Kaidan swung from feeling angry to simply contrite. Kicking up a fuss about a joke was never a good look, particularly if you wanted the joke to go away. And it needed to go away, because if it had been so immediately obvious to Ashley every time he’d unconsciously stared at the Commander, the others were going to see it to; especially if they were primed to look for it. This couldn’t go further than Ash.

He doesn’t have my bone structure.

The Chief barked a little laugh, and Shepard gave her a curious glance, but they continued walking in silence.

As they rounded the corner and entered the lower markets, they could see Chorban up ahead, flanked by some heavily-armed salarian bodyguards. Shepard walked up to him with that same purposeful march, seemingly unperturbed by the heavies. Ash had unholstered her rifle, and was holding it across her body, and Kaidan created a weak biotic barrier around himself, just to let the goons know what they were up against if they decided to attack. They both looked considerably more nervous after taking in Kaidan and Ashley’s preparations.

Shepard was listening to Chorban and asking pointed questions, trying to calmly get to the bottom of what sounded like a ridiculous miscommunication got completely out of hand. She was so direct, authoritative, but not pushy or intimidating. Chorban spilled his guts.

Before Kaidan could really process what was being said, Shepard was already moving away and towards the elevator back up to the Presidium, but as she walked past Kaidan she caught him dropping his biotic barrier and did a little double-take. Odd; she’d seen him use his biotics several times on Eden Prime, but perhaps not that close. He knew his usually hazel eyes turned blue when he used his biotics, so maybe that’s what she’d seen. Her eyes had met his and flown wide before she'd quickly looked away.

As they entered the elevator, she turned around as he walked in, and again she met his eyes and then snapped away. Was that… embarrassment? She was blushing, and it had been several minutes since the autograph incident, so it didn’t seem likely that it was still from that. What was she thinking about?

As the elevator doors closed, Kaidan’s mind was whirring away at light speed. He recalled how she’d got slightly flustered when speaking to him in the med-bay after Eden Prime. After he’d said he carried her back to the ship. No, he shouldn’t read too much into it. Indulging in some puppy-love fantasy about his CO couldn’t lead anywhere good. He got another ping on his omnitool.

Hmmm. Seems you’re not the only one nursing a crush, LT.

As he looked at Ashley, she shrugged and nodded towards Shepard’s back, as she was awkwardly crossing and uncrossing her arms. A reflex he knew well.

It threw a tiny piece of kindling onto the flame he’d spent the last half an hour or so trying to starve of oxygen. He was going to need to buy Ash an insane number of cocktails to get her to keep all this quiet… but the idea that there was something to keep quiet, something real, made his stomach do a backflip.

“Disgusting,” Ash whispered, but this time he didn’t object, he just smiled a little bit wider.

Yup, a shitload of cocktails.

Notes:

I haven't been writing very long, and I REALLY want to improve; if you do have any constructive criticism, it would absolutely be welcomed and I would be really grateful 😁

#mass effect fanfiction #mass effect original trilogy appreciation #mass effect 1 #f!shenko #kaidan alenko #ashley williams #conrad verner #very fluffy nonsense

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dianapocalypse · 3 years

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Kieran Shepard - Character Profile

(Systems Alliance vector by Deviantart User Karlika)

I got extremely carried away so let’s go under the cut

this only goes thru about the halfway point of Mass Effect 2 right now because I’m still working thru the game! I’ll update it when I’m done with ME2 and after ME3 probably.

Pre-Mass Effect 1

Kieran Shepard was born on Earth and grew up in the slums of Chicago. She was shuffled around various foster and group homes for her childhood, and the only sense of stability she knew was in the gang she was recruited to at a young age, the Tenth Street Reds. She was part of the "Clubs" suit of the organization, specializing in hitting hard and fast. She was outfitted with her biotic amps by the gang to make her more effective in close quarters combat. She grew up very distrustful of law enforcement and authority in general.

After a job went south when she was 16 and she ended up tied up in a homicide, she was given the option by the courts to go to prison or go to an 'alternative education' school funded by the Systems Alliance. It was her first taste of structure outside of the gang life, and she adapted to it better than expected, eventually falling in line with the Alliance’s way of doing things despite her initial resistance to trusting the authority of a large military organization. Upon her graduation at 18, she joined the Alliance military. She served under Captain Anderson on the SSV Tokyo, and was one of the Alliance marines on leave when the Skyllian Blitz hit Elysium. Leading the charge to defend the colony and using her years of experience of fighting dirty and coordinating disparate people in the Tenth Street Reds, coupled with her military education, she and the colonists beat back the invaders and she was awarded the Star of Terra.

After this point, Kieran’s dedication to being the Perfect Alliance Soldier intensified; there were eyes on her now, and expectations to meet. The impostor syndrome began setting in. She fought back against it by overworking herself to be better than the best, taking even the slightest mistakes as evidence she was worthless and going to be discovered as the fraud she was. This only got worse when Captain Anderson hand picked her to be his XO on the SSV Normandy.

Kieran kept a fairly stiff outward appearance and did her best to emulate Captain Anderson, thinking this was what was expected of her. Despite this, she, Jenkins and Joker managed to develop a sibling-like banter while the Normandy was being prepped for its first mission.

Mass Effect 1

Eden Prime was her first mission officially having a command, Elysium having taken place before she was promoted. Losing Jenkins so quickly was terrifying, proof that she wasn’t fit to be here. But, no time for that, she carried out the mission, recruited Ashley, was sucked into the Beacon, etc. No one seemed to blame her for Jenkins’ death, which only served to make her feel more fraudulent. Like now that she had authority, there was also a lack of appropriate consequences. Her old disdain for authority tried to breach above the water, but she forced it back down. She found some solace in Kaidan’s logical, clinical way of explaining things, including Jenkins’ death; it helped the Subjective feel more Objective, and she came to trust his opinions.

The Council’s reaction to Saren was, as it is for all Shepards, infuriating. Again, her old reasons for distrusting authority had one more ‘point’ in their corner. Still, she did her best to stay in line, to be the Soldier she needed to be, and eventually to be the Spectre she needed to be. Losing Captain Anderson to politics, though, shook her. Before, she had at least someone higher than her on the food chain to turn to when she was in over her head. Now, she was on her own.

She came to lean more heavily on Kaidan’s advice during this time, and on Joker for levity. She didn’t take well to Garrus; his history as a cop and constant complaints that red tape kept him from getting justice done ‘his way’ smacked of crooked cops on Earth. Still, when they clashed, he tended to back down and consider what she said. She enjoyed Wrex’s company, though, his old war stories reminding her of the senior members of her gang on Earth. She also enjoyed her talks with Ashley and Tali, the former because of her candor-- Kieran could at least be sure Ash was always honest with her--and Tali because she was the only person on board who seemed as out of place as Kieran felt. Plus, Tali’s a delight, who wouldn’t like her? She was fairly ambivalent to Liara, not sure if she viewed her as more of an extension of her Prothean research as a person, and they had their fair share of awkward conversations, but there’s no malice there.

Kieran’s next Major Event takes place on the Citadel, when a member of the Tenth Street Reds tries to blackmail her into using her newfound power and influence to release one of their own from prison. In the time since she left, they became an even more outwardly xenophobic organization, which rubs her the wrong way. Doing her best to be a Model Soldier, she immediately reports him to C-Sec, leading to a confrontation. In the heat of the moment, Kieran panicks. Her past is a matter of public record, but she can’t have him dragging her thru the mud, spreading lies, hurting her reputation and the Alliance’s. Her position is too precarious. They’ll find out that she’s a fraud, even if he’s lying. She shoots him, intending it as a warning, but killing him on the spot instead. (I wrote more about this here when I played that part of the game!) The Turian cop is impressed. Kieran is horrified, both by her actions, and by the cop’s approval of her killing him in cold blood. She returns to the Normandy and throws up.

I’m fudging the canonical timeline a little bit here, but I think this event is what leads into Kaidan telling Kieran the story of how he killed the Turian ‘teacher’ on Jump Zero as a way of helping her contextualize what just happened. They Bond. The rest of the game unfolds without too many more Major Character Moments that are unique to Kieran versus All Shepards. Wrex survives Virmire, Ashley doesn’t. Ash becomes the second to die under her command, the first to die as the result of an explicit choice she made to save the man she has feelings for. The guilt threatens to rip her in half, but we have a galaxy to save, so she does. She manages to talk Saren into realizing he is indoctrinated, but it’s too late for him. She leaves the council to die on the Destiny Ascension, not willing to risk losing firepower to use against the Reaper, and is infuriated when the political spin on the story becomes that she was ‘protecting human interests over galactic ones’. She does not understand why the lives of three politicians should outweigh thousands of soldiers or millions of civilians on the Citadel, and she never will.

Having never trusted Udina, Kieran nominates Captain Anderson to lead the new council. She spends the ensuing months cleaning up pockets of geth resistance with the Normandy crew before getting spaced by the Collectors, as all Shepards do from time to time.

Mass Effect 2

Kieran wakes up in a Cerberus facility and is horrified. She ran into Cerberus plenty in Mass Effect 1, and her impression of them is bad to say the least. After fighting her way through the facility under siege and being horrified by Miranda’s actions killing Wilson, she heads to Freedom’s Progress, all the while trying to figure out a way to get out of this, even tho she suspects The Illusive Man’s statements that she’s free to do as she pleases to be lies. No one invests that much without expecting returns, or demanding them. Her only solace is in Joker, who at least seems not to have changed much, and Dr. Chakwas. She tries to communicate to Tali on Freedom’s Progress that she doesn’t want to be here, tries to get her to come along for the mission, but at least for now, she can’t. She goes to Captain Anderson on the Citadel to try to bring the mission to the Alliance, the Council, anything to get away from Cerberus, but he cannot help her. Her old crew is unavailable, Kaidan’s location is classified, she can’t get messages out to any of her old crew without risking Cerberus reading them and someone has to stop the Collectors.

Even though the two had never been close, she is elated to see Garrus on Omega, in as bad shape as he is. At least he’s a familiar face and someone who doesn’t trust Cerberus. She bonds with Zaeed for similar reasons to Wrex; she likes his old war stories and he reminds her of the people she grew up with. And, he doesn’t treat her any differently because of her status. She’s still guarded around Jacob and Miranda, she doesn’t trust EDI, and she immediately gives Jack access to all of Cerberus’s files. The two don’t exactly get along, but they at least have hating Cerberus and their colorful backgrounds in common. Grunt at least is easy to understand for her; prove you’re strong, and he’ll respect you. Good enough for now.

Horizon hits Kieran like a truck. Seeing the Collectors in action is traumatizing enough; then she sees Kaidan, who she’s been wanting to talk to since she woke up, who she hoped would understand that she’s trapped, and he lays into her for a situation she feels she cannot control. He says she betrayed the Alliance, betrayed him, wonders if their relationship meant anything to her. She’s stunned. Until this point, the fact that she was gone for two years never really felt real, never sunk in. But now it’s undeniable. It’s changed her, it’s changed the people she cares about, and she feels like she truly lost everything. Even after getting his follow up email (which I highly recommend listening to the voice actor read), Kieran’s mental health is in shambles. It’s not enough to undo her self doubt spiral. He thinks she’s a bad guy now? That she’s a traitor? Fine. No point in fighting it, then. (To be clear, I personally don’t blame Kaidan at all for Horizon, nor Shepard, it’s just a shit situation, but Kieran’s self esteem is SHOT)

Kieran starts getting reckless in the ensuing missions. She starts taking a lot more renegade actions, in a gameplay sense, things she would never have done when she was trying to be the Perfect Soldier. Now, everyone already thinks she’s out of control, and she falls back into old habits. If everyone already thinks you’re bad, it’s easier to just become what they say you are.

I’ve only done Miranda’s loyalty mission so far, and the first exception to her current downward spiral into Renegade is Niket. His logic reminds her of Kaidan, as does how Miranda describes their friendship; she tells Miranda not to shoot, has a brief moment of clarity that oh, yeah, killing someone you were friends with is traumatizing, probably. Don’t do that. She and Miranda bonded a bit over that mission, I think; she still doesn’t like Cerberus, but she likes Miranda, and I think that counts for a lot for her.

That’s as far as I am in the game at the moment! Her current attitudes to the rest of the crew are: Jacob she is indifferent to but respects his honesty; she doesn’t like or trust Mordin due to his treatment of the Krogan and the sense of racial superiority over the Krogan; she likes Kelly and the engineers fine; she has a respect for Jack even if Jack doesn’t like her; she likes Garrus more now that he’s not so into his “justice by any means necessary” bit but we’ll see how his loyalty mission goes; she likes Kasumi; she is really glad to have Tali back, esp because she’s SO OUTWARDLY HOSTILE TO CERBERUS and it’s great; she likes Grunt and views Zaeed as kind of a fucked up father figure; she likes and trusts Chakwas and Joker; jury is still out on Thane but she at least can see he does his job well; and she CANNOT STAND SAMARA. Might end up going with Morinth on this playthru!

If you made it this far, holy shit, why???? Also thank you!!

#mass effect #mass effect legendary edition #commander shepard #femshep #kieran shepard tag #diana draws sometimes

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porthavenhq · 4 years

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Welcome to September, Porthaven! We are so excited to share with you all PHQ’s first ever Monthly Review! It came to our attention a few weeks ago that while we list each month’s events on the sidebar of the main, a great many of our members weren’t aware it was there and thus did not know about what events the month would hold until specific posts were made for them. Thus, the Monthly Review will include all of the upcoming events and tasks for the month as well as some important notes from your admins.

We know that with school starting back up for many of us and after loosing a few members over the past month activity has taken a bit of a dip, but we want all of you to know just how much we appreciate everyone who has kept up their activity and asked for hiatuses when they needed it. For that reason, we are also including an “honorable mentions” section of the Review where we discuss which member, character, thread, and task really stood out to us. More on the details of this category can be found further down!

Important Notes

As mentioned above, we’ve been struggling a bit with activity as of late. Since many of our members, myself included, are starting up school again we’ve been trying to be very lenient with our activity rules and haven’t been reaching out to anyone about low activity. We also acknowledge that this time of the year is even more stressful due to the pandemic and don’t want anyone to feel forced to do more than they currently can. That being said, if you need a hiatus please ask for it in advance if you’re able to. Members who suddenly go off the radar without saying anything have the rest of us worried if they are okay and wondering if they are planning to leave the RP. But if you’re not on hiatus, please try to keep your activity levels up or consistent. Not doing your replies means that those involved in threads with you have nothing to reply to either. If you have any concerns please reach out, and to everyone who has been active over the past month keep up the good work!

Additionally, if anyone has any ideas about events or tasks they would like to see please don’t hesitate to reach out to an admin on Discord or the main directly. We’d love to start incorporating more events based around or caused by our in-play characters (hosted parties, fêtes, trouble making that effects the city, etc). Event if it’s not something related to your character and just an idea you had we’d still love to hear it!

Honorable Mentions

Just as a preface to this section, we want to let everyone know that just because you, your characters, or something you wrote didn’t make the list doesn’t mean we don’t still appreciate and love everything you’re doing! This is just to give a round of applause to those who really stood out to us over the past month who we believe deserve some extra recognition. Members of the month are people who have helped keep Porthaven alive with their consistent activity, brought new and interesting plots to the group, or overall just did a really great job with their characters, threads, etc. Our honorable character mention will go to a character who went through a significant amount of development, shook up the city with their presence, or just made the dash really fun to read through. A notable thread is simply just which thread that started over the past month had everyone excitedly (or anxiously) waiting to read the next reply. And finally, our favorite task has to have been for a task posted that month and has obvious dedication to the character put into it.

Member : We’ve got to give it up for Duckie. A very new addition to our group, Duckie has amazed us her record reply speed. She’s helped keep the dash moving consistently since she applied and we’re super happy she chose to join Porthaven. Not to mention she’s brought a breath of fresh air with Phoenix - our new local grump who is doing a great job of promoting interesting character interactions.

Character : We love all of our taken characters so much, so this really was a hard one. After much deliberation we chose to give this honorable mention to Anna Àrnadalr! Anna always brings tons of fun to the dash and her upbeat personality never ceased to put a smile our faces. Between crossing paths with some of our darker characters and admirably continuing to try to reconnect with her sister, Anna’s interactions never cease to be a joy to read. We can’t wait to see what is in store for her in September!

Thread : Though it’s a fairly new thread, we have to nominate An Awkward Meeting of Ice and Fire. Elsa and Phoenix’s first interaction and awkward small talk as they walked together to Three Witch’s Brew got everyone invested in these two who seemed completely unable to have a casual conversation with one another. We love watching characters who are so incredibly different, but at the same time strikingly similar, meet. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we sincerely hope this won’t be the last time Phoenix and Elsa interact.

Task : This month we had two tasks and a solid selection of candidates for this category, but we believe that Blossom’s Fashion took the cake this month. Not only was the graphic beautiful, but Marie’s written description of how Blossom dresses gave us a great look into this new character to the group. Her “pink academia” aesthetic fits the character perfectly and we all support her decision to only shop sustainably!

Upcoming Events

The Amazing Race : September 5th. Porthaven’s 5K and half marathon. The weather is perfect for a run and that’s exactly what the city is giving its residents a chance to do. Sign up for the 5K or half marathon this upcoming Saturday or stand by along the trail to cheer the runners on. Still in need of plenty of volunteers to pass out drinks, race numbers, and medals.

Movie Night in the Park : September 11th. Roll up your blankets and snacks and head out to Aspen Park for this month’s outdoor movie night. Movie selection will be revealed in event specific post.

Back to School Fundraiser : September 13th. The city’s public school system is hosting a small fundraiser carnival on the football field of Beacon High to raise money for students who can’t afford school supplies or lunches. Admission is $10 and all money spent or donated within the event will go towards helping these kids out.

Mystery Event : September 16th. Please await further details.

Harvest Festival : September 20th to the 22nd. Porthaven loves an equinox or solstice and goes all out every time one comes around. The Harvest Festival is in celebration of the Autumn Equinox and will encompass three days with the first two being dedicated to fair-like activities and events. The final day will end with an autumn-themed masquerade.

Tasks

Life, The Musical : A seven song minimum playlist that describes various events, relationships, and stages of your character’s life! Provide a short description under each song to explain how it connects to your character. Members can chose to go as far back in their characters lives or chose events that are more recent.

Autumn Questionnaire : Simply put, a list of questions to get a look at how your character(s) spend the fall season. Members are permitted to omit any questions they struggle with or do not want to answer.

Dear Self : Everyone has a moment in their lives that they could go back and fix or have had comfort for. In this task we would like you to have your character write a letter to a themselves at a significant age in their life. They can write to their younger self, wishing they could avoid the mistakes they made. Or perhaps they write to their older self, wondering what the future has in store for them. This task can just be an hc rather than something your character actually sits down and writes.

Share the Love : With how stressful the world is right now we wanted to create a task that would spread even more positivity around the group. Send a nice message to a member (it can be anonymous) about why you love their character(s), writing, or just the member in general. Also try to reach out to members you may not have gotten to know very well yet or plot with characters you haven’t interacted with. This is less of a task and more of an opportunity to build an even greater sense of community within our group this month.

#phqreview

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snarkywrites · 6 years

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Power and Control: Planets, Aspects and Influences in the Zodiac Chart

Mars in the 1st House – You like being in charge, asserting what you want, and you can be seen as a motivator for others. This is the position of the fearless leader, the unstoppable and the one who will be driven to see things through to the end if all aspects prove favorable. Here we see the entrepreneurs, the go-getters and those who are rarely phased by social criticisms about them. This is the position for someone who constantly hungers for more and their batteries are rarely out.

Mars in the 6th House – Here we have someone who is not a pushover, who takes on challenges with ease and who does things meticulously, even if the rage of Mars may follow them through work. This is not an aspect for the light hearted, as Mars here challenges and focuses their energy on things that make them passionate. Work will keep you motivated and even if this is a sixth House placement, you will easily catch everyone’s eye at work with just how good you are.

Mars in the 10th House –Charisma, charm and a workaholic. When Mars is placed here, you like to be in control. There is a power surge that goes through you, especially when you are praised by all. Mars in this position can make you a dictator at work, which will lead to your underlings to fear or respect you. There is a ruthlessness that comes with this placement because the native has worked hard to make it to their position. As with most tenth House placements, the native needs to learn to balance and be more considerate of others. Power comes easy but learn to be responsible with it.

Pluto in the 1st House – You exude power and control. This placement makes you polarize as people debate either fawning over you or despising you for no apparent reason. Here we see someone who has come to an understanding with their power. Pluto governs the underworld, hidden contracts and exposing truths. These natives had to go through a lot to be in the position they are in today. They hone and control it, while subtly letting others know that they are not to be messed with.

Pluto in the 10th House – To those with Pluto in the 10th, it is easy for you to come to terms with positions of power. You accept them gracefully, but you can be unbearable when you have authority over others. The lesson here is to learn to be more compassionate but to command the respect you crave. There needs to be a balance achieved in order for you to succeed, because if you let your power-hungry urges take over, you will self-destruct and start anew.

Tenth House Stellium – The perfectionist is unleashed when there is a Stellium in the House that Saturn governs. It is not a surprise if the native might come across as a control freak, that yearns for the limelight and wants to make it to the top. This is someone who will push themselves from an early age and will try to prove that they are the best. One failure can be heartbreaking to them, but they have the ability to bounce back with greater energy and control. For those with this Stellium, consider it both a curse and a gift. You can easily feel like Icarus, so make sure not to fly too close to the Sun because you can shine brightly on your own and do not need to prove or risk it all to make a point.

Pluto Conjunct the Midheaven – Much like Pluto in the 1st, this person commands with their presence and can be as polarizing. Beware of becoming infamous because you can easily become a savior and reach the heavens, but your enemies will aim to clip your wings and bring you down to hell. Humility and grace can be a challenge for someone with this position; however, if they do have their wings clipped, they will have a brutal fall and a powerful rise. Like the Phoenix, expect them to reemerge and reclaim their power. They will become stronger and potentially more ruthless the second time around.

Saturn in the 1st House – Magic comes with this placement because your life might feel like a fairy tale. There is nothing magical in the beginning, just hardship and trials that never seem to end. And then, something randomly shifts, and you are taking control of the situation. Because of the challenges you faced early on, you will be more equipped to tackle things later. You crave stability, which makes you seem power hungry, but in reality, you just want to find your footing and maintain permanence in your life.

Saturn in the 10th House –The obsessive and hardworking native will have a hard time listening to others who they do not respect. Saturn here makes the native respect authority and will simply tackle any tasks brought to them. This position makes the native obsess with their reputation. Work will fuel them and make them feel needed and secure. Their social standings will be tied in with their work ethic. To those with this position, taking a break may make them feel guilty.

Sun in the 10th House – An aura that captivates and allures when the Sun is in the tenth House. There will be smooth relationships with people at work. You command respect and represent authority, but in a way that makes people want to approach you. If Mercury is well aspected, you may even inspire with your words as your presence only grows with more power with time. Here we witness a natural leader with the support of their followers and peers to take on the world.

Sun Conjunct the Midheaven – When the Sun is making contact with the MC, this person represents a beacon of hope and can be a light in the hearts of many people. From the beginning of their Elementary School period, the native may have noticed there was something special about them. As time progressed and they entered the realm of higher education, they noticed that connecting and meeting people was easy for them. Those born with this position are at the highest point in their natal chart, so it only makes sense that they will be admired, beloved and adored as they get older.

Saturn Conjunct the Midheaven – Saturn here leaves their legacy for the world. They work hard and represent ambition. This is a position for the revolutionary, not in the way that Uranus promotes, but the type that will remembered decades after. Your work ethic is admirable, even enviable at times. There is a tendency to easily inspire others, especially when you are in positions of power. Saturn here (assuming aspects are favorable) can lead with pride and ethics. In this position, achieving your dreams has been tough but once you have conquered and taken your throne at the summit, only a Divine act can stop you.

#Astrology #aspects #midheaven #pluto #saturn #mars #sun

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aceparagon · 3 months

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tag dump part 2 ( out of character tags )

☆ SELF-PROMOTION → you are a beacon of hope to so many that you meet. the burden is great; yet you remain strong. ☆ HEADCANONS → these are layers to you; to your heart. let others see who you are within; let your walls down for now. ☆ META → classified information on the world and the force that declared war on the Earth. ☆ PROMOTIONS → these are my dearest friends! you all mean so much to me & help me keep going despite the insurmountable odds. ☆ A LITTLE PLACE CALLED HOME → these facets help run the city of neo-tokyo and the world overall. ☆ MEMES → downtime games for when there's a lull in this hero's busy life! ✫ MUSIC → what empowers her to fight — to keep going on despite the surmounting odds. watch her dance like a star. ☆ OUT OF UNIFORM → downtime is necessary even for a hero tasked with so much; remember to take a break for yourself. ☆ STARTER CALL → you've got a message! what does it say? ☆ DASH GAMES → what's new on the 'net? ☆ QUEUE → ''sorry I can't answer your call right now! I'm off saving the world!'' ☆ DASHBOARD COMMENTARY → even if her duty has her out on the frontlines; may these messages remind you that she is with you. ☆ PSA → hey listen! this is some important stuff here! ☆ OPEN → as a new day comes; there will always be something new to look forward to.

#☆ SELF-PROMOTION → you are a beacon of hope to so many that you meet. the burden is great; yet you remain strong.#☆ HEADCANONS → these are layers to you; to your heart. let others see who you are within; let your walls down for now.#☆ META → classified information on the world and the force that declared war on the Earth.#☆ PROMOTIONS → these are my dearest friends! you all mean so much to me & help me keep going despite the insurmountable odds.#☆ A LITTLE PLACE CALLED HOME → these facets help run the city of neo-tokyo and the world overall.#☆ MEMES → downtime games for when there's a lull in this hero's busy life!#✫ MUSIC → what empowers her to fight — to keep going on despite the surmounting odds. watch her dance like a star.#☆ OUT OF UNIFORM → downtime is necessary even for a hero tasked with so much; remember to take a break for yourself.#☆ STARTER CALL → you've got a message! what does it say?#☆ DASH GAMES → what's new on the 'net?#☆ QUEUE → ''sorry I can't answer your call right now! I'm off saving the world!''#☆ DASHBOARD COMMENTARY → even if her duty has her out on the frontlines; may these messages remind you that she is with you.#☆ PSA → hey listen! this is some important stuff here!#☆ OPEN → as a new day comes; there will always be something new to look forward to.

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aceparagoned · 2 years

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TAG DUMP PART 1

☆ VISAGE → you’re bright as a star; radiant as the sun’s rays. ☆ MUSINGS → written on your skin like stardust; these are reflections of your undying will. ☆ MANNERISMS → unyielding in your strength; you bow for no one. and yet you have a heart of gold and compassion for everyone. ☆ SELF-PROMOTION → you are a beacon of hope to so many that you meet. the burden is great; yet you remain strong. ☆ AESTHETICS → mementos of the journey she’s undergone thus far; the stars will guide her path. ☆ WARDROBE → even the defender of the world has an interest in the world of fashion; these items adorn her battleworn body. ☆ ABILITIES → her might is strong; unconquerable; this is a display of her prowess. ☆ VITA → everyone’s hero; the one who we all count on to save the day; without her—the world would be lost to chaos and despair. ☆ HEADCANONS → these are layers to you; to your heart. let others see who you are within; let your walls down for now. ☆ META → classified information on the world and the force that declared war on the Earth. ☆ PROMOTIONS → these are my dearest friends! you all mean so much to me & help me keep going despite the insurmountable odds. ☆ DESIRES → what she has denied herself for so long; to have someone to love; to hold; to cherish. yearning can only last so long. ☆ A LITTLE PLACE CALLED HOME → these facets help run the city of neo-tokyo and the world overall. ☆ MEMES → downtime games for when there's a lull in this hero's busy life! ✫ MUSIC → what empowers her to fight — to keep going on despite the surmounting odds. watch her dance like a star. ☆ OUT OF UNIFORM → downtime is necessary even for a hero tasked with so much; remember to take a break for yourself. ☆ STARTER CALL → you've got a message! what does it say? ☆ DASH GAMES → what's new on the 'net? ☆ QUEUE → ''sorry I can't answer your call right now! I'm off saving the world!'' ☆ DASHBOARD COMMENTARY → even if her duty has her out on the frontlines; may these messages remind you that she is with you. ☆ PSA → hey listen! this is some important stuff here!

#☆ VISAGE → you’re bright as a star; radiant as the sun’s rays.#☆ MUSINGS → written on your skin like stardust; these are reflections of your undying will.#☆ MANNERISMS → unyielding in your strength; you bow for no one. and yet you have a heart of gold and compassion for everyone.#☆ SELF-PROMOTION → you are a beacon of hope to so many that you meet. the burden is great; yet you remain strong.#☆ AESTHETICS → mementos of the journey she’s undergone thus far; the stars will guide her path.#☆ WARDROBE → even the defender of the world has an interest in the world of fashion; these items adorn her battleworn body.#☆ ABILITIES → her might is strong; unconquerable; this is a display of her prowess.#☆ VITA → everyone’s hero; the one who we all count on to save the day; without her—the world would be lost to chaos and despair.#☆ HEADCANONS → these are layers to you; to your heart. let others see who you are within; let your walls down for now.#☆ META → classified information on the world and the force that declared war on the Earth.#☆ PROMOTIONS → these are my dearest friends! you all mean so much to me & help me keep going despite the insurmountable odds.#☆ DESIRES → what she has denied herself for so long; to have someone to love; to hold; to cherish. yearning can only last so long.#☆ A LITTLE PLACE CALLED HOME → these facets help run the city of neo-tokyo and the world overall.#☆ MEMES → downtime games for when there's a lull in this hero's busy life!#✫ MUSIC → what empowers her to fight — to keep going on despite the surmounting odds. watch her dance like a star.#☆ OUT OF UNIFORM → downtime is necessary even for a hero tasked with so much; remember to take a break for yourself.#☆ STARTER CALL → you've got a message! what does it say?#☆ DASH GAMES → what's new on the 'net?#☆ QUEUE → ''sorry I can't answer your call right now! I'm off saving the world!''#☆ DASHBOARD COMMENTARY → even if her duty has her out on the frontlines; may these messages remind you that she is with you.#☆ PSA → hey listen! this is some important stuff here!

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aceparagonings · 9 months

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tag dump part 2 ( out of character tags )

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gofancyninjaworld · 5 years

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The World of Heroes, Part 3: The Association

With great thanks to @scumerage for giving me the necessary framing.

So, welcome to Part 3 of me geeking way too much about heroes and One Punch Man. In Part 1, I talked about the challenge of being a hero. In Part 2, I took a step backwards and looked at what heroes were in the context of OPM. This part, I’m going to build on them and write about the world of the pro-hero.

No one has ever needed especial qualifications to be a hero, neither in the real world nor in that of OPM. Heroes arise from anywhere depending on the situation. The idea of someone paid to be a hero seems rather weird the more you think about it.

A: Why a Hero Association?

We can’t understand the Hero Association unless we take the time to really appreciate why it came to exist. The Hero Association was born out of desperation. Specifically, mysterious beings had been appearing with increasing frequency in the world going back at least twenty years -- and back when Saitama was in middle school, it’d already gotten severe enough a problem that there were calls for the government to set up a specialist force to deal with the problem.

Calls that went unheeded.

For years.

Until Agoni had that epiphany that his grandson having the luck of being saved by a random stranger didn’t have to be luck. So he got the buy in of both politicians and business people and set up a Hero Association to organise heroes and save people (not necessarily the same thing). The Hero Association is 100% donation funded, no taxes.

Like a beacon of hope rising out of a sea of tragedy, the Hero Association’s main building stands.

B: Why be a Pro-Hero?

The key thing that I’m going to bold is that the Hero Association ORGANISES heroes. It does not train them, taking only ‘battle ready’ people. It does not worry about developing them. You have to already be a hero. Wannabes need not apply.

This fact has many important implications.

First, there is a right time to join the Hero Association: when the hero work you are already doing has come to take up so much of your time that it is interfering with your ability to make a living. The undying gratitude of the person you saved may be priceless, but it doesn’t pay the rent, nor the hospital bills you incurred. Come to the Hero Association at that time and it’s a fantastic deal. It will reliably pay you every month. It will pay your medical bills. It will record and recognise your activities. It will indemnify you against the damage that you do during the course of your work. If you’re not in Class C, it will help you with equipment. It may even put money aside for the pension you’ll need much sooner than you think.

Second, the Hero Association may not train, but it also does not constrain. As discussed in earlier parts, the sort of person who becomes a hero is someone who doesn’t fear standing out or going against the flow -- they’re independent minded and often more than a little eccentric. The HA’s attitude allows for the weird and wonderful heroes we see to thrive. No prescription of how to do your heroism. No uniforms. Out of Class C, no expectations of minimum activity.

However, while the Hero Association has broad standards, those standards are NOT LOW. Every profession that carries authority over others from teaching to the police has a perennial problem of how to spot and weed out those attracted to it for power tripping purposes, the narcissists, the sociopaths, the sadists, the abusers, and the plain evil. The Hero Association’s pro-heroes are remarkably good -- far better than the general population. There’s a certain amount of nonsense the HA will put up with from super-useful heroes but we’re seeing that even there, they have limits. I don’t know what combination of selection criteria and the demands of the job that create this, but it works.

And there’s a logic to it: hero work, doing good hero work consistently is far too tough for people who don’t have both a serious moral core and a desire to be pro-social to last. The manga expansion has been at great pains to examine the different avenues available to people with the power to be pro-heroes but not the moral core and/or social drive -- regular law-abiding civilians doing whatever the hell they want to. Sportspeople. Criminals. Mercenaries. Vigilantes. Conversely, we’ve also been shown at least one person with the morals, but not the strength -- that person made an exceptional police officer.

With great power comes no obligation -- your life is your own

It’s not a perfect model, and its shortcomings are becoming clearer -- which I’ll discuss in a bit -- but it does do its job of supporting exceptional and highly individual heroes to dedicate themselves fully to their self-appointed work. And they’re good at drawing from society at large: a non comprehensive list of former (and current) professions of pro-heroes includes actor, circus performer, construction worker, salaryman, manager, swordsmen, professional martial artists, hunter, trapper, perfumier, farmer, athletes, body builders, ninjas, ballerinas...the list goes on.

C. Classes and Ranks

Deploying heroes means sorting heroes so as to use them in the best way possible. There are no size limits to any of the classes -- as many as fit the requirements of a class will be in it. The HA is always recruiting.

Class C is the threshing floor, where heroes start if there’s no compelling reason to recommend that they start elsewhere -- or if they have their doubts. The combination of low pay and the expectation of weekly results means that there’s no opportunity to work half-heartedly. It quickly discourages the lazy, those who aren’t strongly self-motivated, those lacking in initiative, those expecting quick recognition, the ones who simply cannot work with others, the ones who won’t take lawful orders and the plain incompetent. Expectations are relatively low. Stopping small time criminals, being helpful to people and being willing/able to work with others to take care of monsters will see you in good standing. Getting out of Class C seems to be dependent on showing that you can be relied on to single-handedly kill monsters (any damn kind) OR by being promoted to C Class Rank 1. The majority of heroes have done at least a short stint in Class C, including many current Class S heroes.

It’s hard to survive on your own in Class C

If a hero is inclined to be lazy, Class B is where to be. No formal quota, no formal expectation of being drafted to help with an escalating situation (like Class A and S heroes), semi-decent pay, help with equipment design/maintenance, its lower reaches are quite a safe place to coast. When a Class B hero does work, the expectation on them is that they be entrusted to handle a wolf-level threat on their own and if Don Pacino is typical of the sort of criminal that gets a B Class bounty, heavily-armed gangs are fair game. The challenge of Class B is the Blizzard Group -- if you work close to or in Z-City, and are ambitious, Fubuki will come knocking sooner or later. It's a problem that the Hero Association knows about and chooses to do nothing about, seeing it as just another test ambitious heroes have to negotiate.

It’s a shame that Class B is so dominated by the Blizzard Group that it’s difficult to find pictures of just Class B heroes that’s not them. And yet we know nearly none of them...

Class A is the where the main backbone of the Hero Association lies. That this is shifting of late doesn’t negate the fact that most monsters are threat level tiger or below. For the vast majority of threats, Class A is where the buck stops. The roughly forty members of this class are the highest class of heroes you could still consider ‘normal’ human beings. Highly visible, hard-working and with high expectations placed on them, A-Class heroes are what other heroes aspire to be. There may be no formal tutelage system in the Hero Association, but Class A heroes take turns to orient new recruits as to the rules and expectations of being a pro-hero.

Class A comes across as a group whose members are just as comfortable on their own as in working with others.

Class S is... well, it is special. Unlike the other classes, a hero cannot be promoted to Class S: it is by direct invitation only. And that invitation is on battle record, battle record, and battle record alone. Only the demonstrated ability to single-handedly slay a threat-level demon monster or more will elicit that invitation. By staying at Class A Rank 1, Amai Mask closes off the possibility that a hero who doesn’t meet those requirements can nevertheless request a promotion interview and talk or network their way in. Why so persnickety? Because these heroes are the In Case of Emergency heroes: when the shit really hits the fan, that’s when they step up. With so few of them, a single S-Class hero can easily be all that stands between tens of thousands of people and a horrible death with no back up available for hours. We’ve seen a lot more of them than the average person in the story does because the story is set precisely in the midst of several extreme emergencies.

They may be the most powerful heroes, but they don’t have the best reputation amongst other heroes. Even between themselves -- they’re amazingly fractious and Flashy Flash’s summation of his colleagues is particularly scathing:

The other Class S heroes are useless. They’re either stubborn or hide their own identity, weirdos, children and old people. (from webcomic chapter 112)

Getting this many Class S heroes in the same place at the same time is like pulling teeth

What about ranks? Within classes heroes have ranks, but they don’t directly correspond to battle power, have little to do with seniority, and are absolutely not measures of hierarchy within a class. What they are are measures of a given hero’s perceived utility to the Hero Association. Ranks give heroes something to measure themselves by, act as a tangible measure of progress, are something that does correlate to how well a hero gets paid within the class and of course, they bring feel superior points. If a hero is minded to climb classes, Rank 1 of the class below is the ticket to apply for promotion.

What’s very fair about the ranking system is that it’s assessed weekly. No matter where a hero starts out, week by week, they cannot help but build an actual track record. The Hero Association isn’t slow to reward good heroes with promotions -- it’s why even the Saitama who won’t report his work and claims to cheat is rising so fast that other heroes keep attacking him. What’s troublesome about it is that it’s a points based system, whereby points can be divided between heroes... which opens the door to some underhanded shenanigans.

Wrapping up

The Hero Association has solved a very troublesome problem: how to reliably hire a hero? Precisely because anyone can be moved to acts of heroism, people have been saved by a random assemblage of other people, only a few of whom would ever think of doing it regularly. What they have done in short is to give those people basic security and protection and otherwise let them get on with doing what they do.

What’s been good about their approach is that they’ve effectively captured lightning in a bottle, bringing together some exceptional people, and deploying them in a way that balanced their needs for individuality with the benefit of collective action. Until recently, it’s a model that has worked. What’s been bad about it…. Ah, that will wait until the last part of this series.

#OPM #meta #world building #Hero Association #heroes #it's an interesting model #but this piece is long enough

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sasorikigai · 5 years

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@paindealt asked.... (aka the MK Kommunity Rambler)

Honestly YESSSS. That's what I love about Sub-Zero and Scorpion, and just Mortal Kombat characters. Is that they're IRONIC, and they have things about them that intentionally contradicts what character they're supposed to be. And that? Makes them feel more realistic imo. With a lot of characters in medias, they tend to fit one role/mold (like the stoic one, or the angry one, the funny one etc etc) which makes them feel one dimensional. But not the MK kast. Not only what we just talked about.

Raiden is another fine example. Like, he's this wise mentor character -- yet he FUCKS UP so badly. In fact, lots of people blame Raiden for the key problems in the series. Like Earthrealm's defender, yet he led characters' to their deaths, technically tried to sell their souls, became a "bad" (or "dark") for a little bit. Like Raiden is that wise old guy, but he's far from perfect, and even his wisdom is of no help. And I just find that very interesting about the kast & why I love them so.

The Mortal Kombat characters just SURPRISE you. And not in an ooc/bad writing sort of way. They're like REAL PEOPLE, and not only do they have a lot of history -- but you find out things about them you wouldn't expect. And it's why the MK games are my FAVORITE fighting series, just because the series really aced their characters and they're so good.

Like Kuai for example... when we see him older, it feels like he's actually aged. His younger self seemed more emotional, more liable to do something impulsive without thinking. (Example; going to straight on kill Scorpion for his brother without considering the circumstances). And then we see older Kuai and how much he's matured, how much wiser he became, and overall a man of peace. Yet... he STILL feels like the Kuai Liang we know. They did an amazing job with realistically aging Kuai up.

Same with Johnny and his younger self. And I know I'm rambling now. But MK just does an AMAZING job with its characters and I am impressed by it. Yes, there are still some ooc stuff, or they didn't do a character justice... (such as the death of Hanzo). But for the most part, they're good at writing realistic & interesting characters and except for a select few (mostly from the ps2/3d games era) I honestly adore all the characters.

I love that they’re both ICONIC and IRONIC, and despite their supernatural abilities and exceedingly and excruciatingly tragic lives, I believe they are two of the most relatable and characters who one can sympathize with the most. I called it their duality, but also, it’s their complexity and humanness that initially intrigued me to nab Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion and Kuai Liang/Sub-Zero as my dual-muses (obviously)!

To begin, the premise of my blog’s creation (based on the word cathexis, which means THE CONCENTRATION OF MENTAL ENERGY ON one particular person, idea, or object (ESPECIALLY TO AN UNHEALTHY DEGREE - which I headcanoned here). Basically, it has to do with Hanzo’s most woeful tragedy that only has brought him a vicissitude od descension; with the loss of his life, his family and his clan, he has lost self-control, governance, freedom and humanity. By accepting the hubbed hell and excruciating suffering by letting himself be forged in hellfire, Scorpion not only lengthened his life (if he were to simply accept his fate without vengeance, then Hanzo Hasashi obviously would have not existed ever), he found the sole, one-track mind to seek out the one who annihilated his life to charcoal dust and exact revenge, to cause equally excruciating suffering against anyone who had been complicit in his clan’s demise (most notably Bi-Han, Quan Chi, Shinnok and Sektor, amongst the others who are subordinates under them).

Despite Scorpion’s motive being immoral and wrong, I cannot help but to let it justified, because he too, is inwardly and outwardly suffering through his own hubbed hell and chaos and insanity. Through anger, there’s an associated sorrow and suffering and through vengeance, there’s self-destruction and emptiness that’s so humanly relatable and connect to. It’s also the universal idea that the concept of self-sustenance and familial love is what serves as the foundation of anyone’s fueled desire, responsibilities and duties.

Through his suffering, depression and PTSD that continue to haunt him, despite taking more than two decades to free himself from the shackle of the past and let Harumi and Satoshi’s death become the fuel for his fiery passion to protect the Earthrealm at all the cost and regain his humanity and redeem himself, Hanzo’s redemption arc is essentially what drove me towards Mortal Kombat and especially MK11. It is a poignant, emotionally-changing makeover of an individual who literally has gone through hell and back, to be killed multiple times only to be resurrected and come back even more stronger, and gradually purified towards the good side with his solemn vow becoming evermore stronger. I especially like the fact that the franchise’s quintessential antihero got a huge transformation, to serve the side of good for seemingly the first time, without wrath and revenge, only to meet the most noblest death one can suffer through the all (through the allegory of retelling of The Scorpion and The Frog).

Kuai Liang is one of those people who you immediately feel sympathetic for; he’s your quintessential good guy who has also suffered so many hardships, yet the stacked experiences of the past has only made him kinder and wiser; he IS perhaps the most miserable character (next to Hanzo) in my opinion.

His clan (or most of it anyway) gets forcefully converted under Cyber Initiative. And that's after Kuai Liang rebuild it piece by piece, to add insult to injury.

His protégé Frost absolutely hates his guts, betrays him, cyberizes herself and even leads the new Cyber Initiative that perverts everything his Lin Kuei vision stands for. He's obviously hurt by it too, as seen in one of his intros ("Was I such a bad mentor?").

His friend Cyrax has to be put down literally right after he's freed from the cyber mainframe.

His other friend Smoke is trapped in Netherrealm according to Noob Saibot (Bi-Han) who taunts him with his.

According to his Story Ending, his biggest wish is to redeem his brother which is quite obviously not happening anytime soon without the Hourglass and in the main story line.

From many of his intros it seems that as a Grandmaster, he lives a lonely life. He straight up tells Cetrion that "love gets in the way" and both Jax and Johnny note that he doesn't socialize much outside of his Lin Kuei duties.

He makes peace with Hanzo and both become respected equals and brothers in arms. Hanzo then gets promptly killed by D'Vorah and Kuai Liang is understandably upset about it ("This is for Hanzo" intro with D'vorah).

In a lot of his intros with Jade, he constantly badgers her to join the Lin Kuei and she always refuses (funnily enough, in her intro with Scorpion she's more than eager to prove she can join the Shirai Ryu, despite not being from Earthrealm).

He keeps getting his ass whooped in almost all trailers or promotional videos.

Add on top all he had to endure throughout MK9 and the MKX comics (forcefully cyberized, killed by Sindel, then painfully "remade" again into a Revenant, gets tainted by the Kamidogu dagger, Scorpion almost kills him etc.).

Sub-Zero deserves major respect. He’s been through all this, and wasn’t seduced by Kronika’s promise of a new era and still remains resilient and headstrong and a beacon of hope in Raiden’s army against the Keeper of time.

I obviously concentrated on Hanzo and Kuai, because I love them much more than the other MK rosters (obviously), but I definitely agree that Netherrealm Studios has done such an amazing job not only fleshing out their characters and giving them relatable growth and development, but different facets of their characters that become so intriguing and contradicting in a sense. Hanzo could be stern, hot-headed and intimidating outward, yet he’s perceptive, astute and compassionate to those who deserve his trust, loyalty and love. Kuai is your ever-stoic, phlegmatic individual who hides all of his pain and suffering inward, yet he’s so open about his philosophies and is able to crack ice puns or partaking in pranks, etc. They’re so multifaceted and the possibilities are endless, which makes them two of the most amazing characters.

TL:DR; I FUCKING LOVE THEM SM.

#✗ the ineffable testimony of spawned hellfire (scorpion)#✗ bone-deep chill of despair (sub-zero)#✗ breathing iron and rust (outofkombat)#(take this morning ramble)#paindealt

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