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#♚ ﹙ never be another like you. ﹚ ANSWERED.
t-lostinworlds · 1 year
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Be(tter) In Reality With Me | Bucky Barnes
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》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader
》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
》 SUMMARY: Bucky needed to remind you how he would never ever betray you, especially when the him in your dreams was showing you otherwise.
》 WARNINGS: bad dreams/nightmares, pregnancy & baby stuff, mentions of: infidelity, miscarriage, anxiety, toxic past relationships; implied smut at the start (nothing graphic), pet names (doll, my love, sweetheart), overprotective!husband!bucky (he’s a hoverer), some hurt, so much comfort, very fluffy moments a.k.a. happy ending obvs.
》 WORD COUNT: 6.5k+
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A/N: this is another unplanned one, like i really just started writing this a few days ago. well, i’ve been toying with the idea for a while but i just never got around to writing/thinking of the perfect premise for it. i coud’ve gone the crack route but you get angst instead. but anyway, this is barely proofread, idk how this turned out. and i know ‘husband fever’ isn't a thing but i honestly got it while writing this soooo hope you enjoy it too!
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📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
The disappointment was sharp in your chest as you trudged towards the front door of your home, fingers curled around an unopened envelope that felt heavier than any normal piece of paper should.
Your husband was supposed to be there with you.
Bucky was supposed to meet you at the clinic so you could find out your baby's gender together. But he hadn't been answering any of your messages or calls since this morning. Better yet, he'd been avoiding you all week. There had been more voicemails than there were replies. It was worrying because you two had been fine, things were normal the week before and now it felt as though he was avoiding you at all cost.
Yet the disappointment was quickly replaced by dread when you opened the front door.
The heels were what you saw first, a pair that you were sure wasn't yours. Even if there was a slightest chance that they were, they had no business being down here and not in your closet. Being pregnant, you hadn't worn heels in months.
Next were the scattered clothes, both familiar and not, a feminine scent lingering in the air that had your stomach turning in knots. They were the most horrid pieces of bread crumbs, one that you knew was leading you towards something vile and agonizing.
Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears as you ascended the stairs, each thump growing harsher to marry with your step. Your fingers trembled on your baby bump, the fluttering inside growing restless like a blaring alarm. When you reached the landing, that was when you heard it.
An enthusiastic creaking of the bed, salacious moans and grunts sinisterly harmonizing, unashamedly loud as if they weren't doing something so evil. It was deafening that you couldn't even hear your own heart shatter into pieces.
You wanted to turn around and leave, telling yourself that seeing the treacherous act would do more harm than good. But you didn't have control of your own body. You were pulling at your own hand, wanting to drag yourself away but to no avail as you kept walking.
The door was wide open when you reached it, shameless and uncaring of getting caught.
And you stood there, frozen, shattering into pieces as you watched your husband mold his naked body into another woman, his metal fingers tangled in her blonde hair, his hips driving back and forth recklessly, their faces contorted in pleasure while a picture of you and him on your wedding day stood on the nightstand.
It felt like a bullet to the heart when he lifted his head and met your eyes.
Gone were the soothing blues you'd called home, gone was the man you'd given your all, who you'd grown to love, to trust.
There were only dark gray hues laced with no guilt, no remorse, a face resembling the love of your life but was truly the Devil incarnate.
Hot tears rolled down your cheeks in quick succession, bile and air stuck in your throat, your heart stopping as something warmer, thicker with a metallic scent trickled down your leg.
He grinned.
You gasped.
•••
Bucky noticed how you'd been short with him lately.
Your kisses were less enthusiastic, his touches or any form of affection were being brushed off, your conversations turning brief, other times barely happening at all.
He tried to reason that you simply needed space, that maybe he was overbearing, overstimulating your senses by hovering around you too much. But, really, who could blame him for taking care of you and making sure his pregnant wife was healthy and safe?
But it was at night that his concern turned to suspicion, when you were facing away from him when you slept, muttering and mumbling, restless. It was when you'd flinch in surprise when he'd wake you up, eyes dazed with something else other than drowsiness. He'd ask you what was wrong, and each time you'd shake your head wordlessly and attempt to go back to sleep.
He remained patient though. It was the least he could do, especially in your state.
Still, that didn't mean he wasn't downright worried, especially when he found something uncanny about your behavior.
Bucky expected your irritability and annoyance. You snapping at him for something so mundane was a common thing he'd been facing lately and had certainly no qualms over. Your mind, emotions, and body were going through a lot and in waves, it was the bare minimum for him to understand. So he never took your harsh glares and clipped tones to heart.
But what was uncanny was the look of doubt, followed by a flicker of fear and then the heartbreak that would cross your face. It was in split seconds, when you see him on the phone, when he was out longer than he'd promised after getting you one of your weird cravings, when he came back late at night after a spontaneous outing with the guys when Wanda and Nat all but kicked him out since it was their turn to pamper you.
Bucky had a feeling that something was wrong. He simply couldn't put a finger as to what.
The nagging voice in the back of his head only grew when Sam and Sarah were in town. It was a surprise visit, so they didn't catch you in time.
You were already out with your mother, a rocky relationship that you hoped would start to mend over baby clothes and strollers.
"Bucky! Come on!" Sarah groaned playfully when he refused to tell them the gender of the baby.
He wanted you to disclose it, and he certainly wasn't going to do it without you by his side. You found out together, it was only fair you tell people the news together, too.
The harsh slam of the front door silenced everyone.
Bucky knew it was you right away, rushing to meet you in the hallway when he heard the intensity of your heartbeat and the sharpness of your breaths, footsteps hurried as if you'd been running.
"Hey," he said softly, cupping your face in his hands, his heart clenching at the sight of your stricken features. "What's wrong?"
It took you a minute to respond, eyes flickering between his face and over his shoulder, like you were looking for something. Bucky watched your body slowly relax when Sam and Sarah followed closely behind him.
It only confused him more.
"You feeling okay?" he asked, thumb stroking your warm cheek as he gently placed the other on your stomach.
"Y-Yeah, I thought—" You shook your head, finally meeting his eyes with a sad smile. "Mom canceled last minute."
"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart," he sighed, pulling you into his arms, kissing the top of your head when you let out a shaky breath, cheek pressed on his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist.
Bucky knew how you were truly looking forward to this day. You'd been carefully dividing your lists into two so you could buy things with your mother and then with him, too.
"We'll just get those on our shopping trip, okay?" he murmured against your crown, hands rubbing soothing patterns on your back. Glancing behind him, he added with a lighter tone, "Or you can give Sam the list and he'll just gift us everything."
"Oh I would gladly do it," The self—not really—proclaimed uncle agreed. "If Buckaroo here will finally tell us whether we're having a niece or a nephew."
Bucky scoffed, "You know you can choose gender-neutral colors, right?"
"Oh no, I'm not talking about colors," Sam said, grinning. "I'm talking about quantity."
"Are you saying the niece gets more?" you asked with a soft laugh as you pulled away. The sound brushed away Bucky's worry, if only briefly, as he felt the tension leave your body. Still, his arm remained on your waist as you turned to your guests, his thumb rubbing soft circles as a means of comfort.
"Obviously," Sam confirmed, rolling his eyes playfully. "Gotta treat her like a princess."
"Can't argue with that." Bucky turned to you with an encouraging nod. "You want to put them out of their misery?"
"Well, you're having…" you trailed off, smile widening, eyes twinkling as a joyful glow kissed your face. The exact reason why Bucky loved letting you tell the news and being there when you did so. "A nephew."
The contrast between the siblings' reactions was amusing. Sarah erupted into a cheer resembling happiness and victory, while Sam all but threw his head back with a groan. Bucky still saw his friend try his best to hide a smile, though.
"I told you!" Sarah playfully smacked his brother on the arm. "A mother's intuition is never wrong."
"Yeah, yeah," Sam rolled his eyes, before turning to you with a proud grin, arms wide open. "Come here you."
You chuckled as you walked into his embrace, mumbling a soft "Thank you" at his congratulations. Sarah hugged you next, all teary yet happy smiles and sweet words as you both wandered to sit in the living room, the mother of two boys already gushing to you about endless advice.
"I'm happy for you man," Sam said as he pulled Bucky into a hug, patting his back before pulling away with narrowed eyes. "You better be taking care of her."
"Of course I am," Bucky scoffed, turning to watch you with a fond smile as you chatted animatedly, excitement evident in your well-being. "Hell, she might even be getting annoyed with my overbearing ass."
"Well, it's better to be overbearing than absent," Sam stated.
Bucky couldn't agree more.
Because fine, maybe he was being too much by always keeping an eye out for you even though you were safe and sound, lounging on the couch as Sam started pestering you about naming the baby after him. But if he wasn't, then he would've missed the way your smile slipped from time to time, shoulders slumping with exhaustion before you'd catch yourself and sit straight up and pretend your energy was still high.
He was thankful that Sam was perceptive enough to catch it too, along with the hints Bucky was throwing his way. So they cut their visit short, understanding that you needed to get some rest even if you hadn't explicitly said so.
Bucky was right on his call when the second the front door shut closed, your body visibility deflated, the day finally catching up with you.
He was probably hovering like a goddamn helicopter, trailing behind you when you did as much as walk from the living room to the bathroom, and then waiting for you outside the door. But if he hadn't, he would've missed your soft sniffles on the other side and the far-away look in your eyes once he'd checked on you twice after taking way too long inside than how you normally took.
If Bucky hadn't been overbearing, he would've missed the signs that something was bothering you, like something was eating away at your conscience.
"Hey, come here," he called for you later that night, sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning you closer with his hands outstretched. Tangling your fingers together, he pulled you to stand in front of his opened legs, kissing your bump before resting his cheek on it, looking up at you with nothing but concern. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"Yeah," you breathed out, attempting to smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Just tired."
That only made his worry grow more.
It was something he'd noticed lately, too, how you'd been having trouble sleeping, much less, staying asleep. Most of the time, once you were comfortable in bed, it only took you a minute or two before you were out like a light.
At first, Bucky thought it was because you were nearing the end of your second trimester. It was to be expected, according to the countless pregnancy books he'd buried his face in and the weekly pregnancy calendar he found on the internet—which showed how big the baby was, what symptoms you were likely to feel and ways to aid you through it, how many weeks there were left, exercises to keep you comfortable and healthy and so on—he used as a guide.
But he didn't think nightmares were supposed to be part of it.
Bucky knew they weren't merely innocent dreams because you were always so shaken when he'd wake you up. There was always a sting settling in his chest when you'd pull away from his touch for a good few moments, eyes avoiding his as you tried to catch your breath. You'd only crawl back into his arms once your heart had settled into a calm rhythm, the haze in your irises never truly gone but faded.
You never told him what your dreams consisted of and Bucky never pushed.
He couldn't. Not with the risk of upsetting you even more. All he could do was remain patient. He knew you would tell him eventually. 
Bucky just wished it didn't have to take your breaking point for that to happen.
•••
The mumbling was what stirred him awake.
Bucky quickly sat up to check on you, his frown growing deeper once he saw your features littered with distress.
Yet before he had the chance to gently take you away from your troubled slumber, you suddenly shot up with a distressed shout,
"No!"
Your sobs immediately hit his ears, your frantic hands pulling the sheets away as if they were suffocating you. Your body trembled, chest heaving as you hastily checked your bump before you trailed your fingers down your inner thighs, bringing them up to your line of sight as if you were expecting to see something horrible coating your skin.
Dread clutched at Bucky's heart when the inkling as to what you expected to see evaded his mind.
"Hey, hey, hey," he rushed, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your face in his hands in an attempt to snap you out of your panic. Tear-filled eyes met his and his heart broke at the utter fear and agony that covered your face.
He pressed his forehead against yours, never looking away as he kept one cold hand on your burning and wet cheek and took yours with the other. He pressed your palm above his heart, hoping that it would help ground you.
"Breathe, sweetheart," he coaxed, inhaling deeply, encouraging you to follow, exhaling once you did. He took your other hand and pressed it against his jaw, letting his warm breath flow over your palm to help aid you in steadying your breathing. "That's it, my love, breathe with me."
Bucky repeated the action as many times he could, marrying it with encouraging words, only stopping when he could hear your heart slow to a steady beat.
"Y-You—" You choked back a whimper, burying your face into his neck as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gripping him tightly. "I-I'm okay."
It sounded more like a question than it was a statement to Bucky.
"You're okay," he reassured firmly, kissing your forehead and steadying your shaking hands over your stomach. "You both are."
Silence covered the room aside from your deep breaths, the soft rustling of the sheets following suit as Bucky shifted to sit behind you, guiding you between his legs until your back was pressed against his chest. You rested all your weight on him, his hands covering your own as he coaxed them to move in slow circles over your stomach. He littered your shoulder with soft kisses, trailing up the side of your neck then your cheek, moving back down as he whispered sweet reassurances.
"You wouldn't do that to me, w-would you?" you asked after a moment.
"Do what, my love?"
Your voice came out as a broken whisper, as if you were scared to say it any louder, as if it would come true if you did.
"Cheat on me."
Bucky's answer was immediate.
"No." He gently turned you around in his arms, your legs thrown over his thigh as you sat sideways. Taking your face in his hand, he nudged the tip of your nose with his to get you to look at him, to let you see the truth in his eyes, emotions bared and unhidden. "I would never."
You nodded meekly before dropping your head, his lips touching your crown.
"Sweetheart, hey," he whispered, fingers finding your chin to prevent you from hiding again. His frown deepened when you met his gaze, the pain and conflict coating your dulled irises doing nothing to ease his worries. "Where is this coming from?"
But with one look at your trembling form and troubled eyes, Bucky's heart sank at the realization.
"Doll…" He took a deep breath, thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. "Is this what you've been dreaming of lately?"
Bucky never expected for such a small nod to break his heart so much.
"I-I watched you and—"
"No, no, no," he interrupted, shaking his head vehemently, kissing the tip of your nose, and then each of your eyelids. "You don't have to tell me right now. I don't want you to dwell on it for too long."
"I have to get out," you whispered yet your tone was adamant, fingers starting to nervously fiddle with his vibranium ones.
Bucky hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to stress you out more than you already were. But when you squeezed his hand reassuringly, he sighed, offering you a small yet supportive smile. "Okay. But don't force it, please, sweetheart. I don't want you getting upset even more."
You nodded.
Bucky listened.
He listened with bated breath as you recounted your dreams, his heart tearing itself apart, piece by piece with each gruesome detail you managed to stutter out. Heels. Clothes. Stairs. Sounds. Bedroom. Bodies. Picture Frame.
Bucky made sure to remind you to take your time and take deep breaths, it's just a bad dream, wiping away your tears as he held you close in his arms, you're my everything, littering whichever part of you he could reach with soft kisses to remind you were here, present in reality with him, and that you're okay.
Bucky never thought he'd feel inhumane anger over a version of himself that wasn't and would never be part of reality. He'd honestly die first. Yet, even then, he still couldn't picture subjecting you to such awful betrayal and hurt.
If he could jump into your dreams and excruciatingly make that asshole pay, no matter if it was some version of him, he would do it over and over and over again. No questions asked.
"And t-then there was b-blood," you took a sharp breath, a knife into Bucky's chest as fresh tears escaped your eyes, your grip around his hand tightening. "I-I lost our—"
"That's enough," Bucky interrupted, voice soft yet hoarse as a lump lodged itself in his throat, blinking away his unshed tears. With one hand on the back of your head, he pressed his lips against your brow. "It's just a nightmare, sweetheart."
"It f-felt so real," you choked back a sob, shaking your head as if you were hoping it would rid the images away. 
"This is real," Bucky said, placing your palm on his cheek, the other on your baby bump with his own hands covering yours. "You're okay. Our baby boy is okay. We are going to be okay."
You nodded, taking deep, shaky breaths as you brought his palm to your lips. You kissed it a few times, three more before you wrapped his arms around your form, leaning forward to bury your face into his neck.
"I would never do that to you," he murmured against the side of your head, rubbing gentle circles on your back. "You trust me, right?"
"I do!" you said, eyes frantically looking into his with all the reassurance you could muster despite your tiredness, lips trembling as you repeated, "I trust you with everything that I have. I trust you with my life, Buck—"
He nodded. He knew you did. He didn't feel any ounce of uncertainty in your voice, didn't see any assumption that he was capable of being unloyal in your eyes. Maybe that was where your conflict came from, your heart battling with the lies your subconscious was feeding you.
This wasn't about the strength of your trust in him. This was something else entirely.
"Who put this in your head, hmm?"
Bucky knew you well enough, how you sometimes got too into your overthinking mind. Your past relationships definitely contributed to that fact. Toxicity to downright emotional abuse and various infidelities from previous boyfriends, it was no surprise that you came out of those relationships scarred.
You went to therapy when you finally had the resources to, and Bucky was always there to support you, told you it was nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, he was going to individual sessions himself, much less frequently compared to his earlier years, but the path to healing was never linear. He even suggested couples counseling—once a month at best, twice on the bad ones. Not because something was broken with your relationship, but only as a tool to be able to understand each other more, to keep things healthy between you both.
It helped tremendously.
You'd grown to shine brighter each day, letting yourself be free of the doubtful voices and instead accept and own that you were deserving to be loved, strongly, loyally, and unconditionally.
Now, after being together for eight years—three in a relationship and five years of marriage—you and Bucky were stronger, healthier, happier. And with a baby boy on the way, he knew it would only strengthen your bond, adding more joy and love to your little family.
But recently, your pregnancy hadn't been easy on your mental state. With your body preparing itself to welcome new life into this world, to your hormones fluctuating, it only heightened your emotions, and that included the bad ones.
So it wasn't far-fetched for your anxious thoughts to grow like weeds in your head, unrelenting and parasitic with no means of stopping unless you pluck it out from the root. But for the first sprout to emerge, someone had to have planted that seed first.
"Remember when I went on that 'girl's night in' get-together?"
Bucky sighed. That was two weeks ago. He should've known that your quietness when you got home was something to be worried about. Even more when it was roughly the same time you started having trouble sleeping. To think that you had to deal with your dreams alone for that long—
He pulled you closer, rubbing your arms with a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, I remember."
"Do you remember Karla?"
Bucky remembered her too. He only met her once when you brought him as your plus one to her engagement party. Now, he wasn't the type of person who was quick to pass judgment on people, especially at the first meeting. But first impressions? She hadn't exactly been the best, too forward and sometimes, rude for Bucky's liking. But she was your friend, so he let it slide.
"She arrived late. She was already very drunk and distraught," you continued once Bucky confirmed with a nod. "We immediately tried to console her, get her to calm down, but she just wouldn't let go of the bottle of whisky, started grabbing the wine the girls were having and chugging it down too. Turns out, she walked in on her fiancé with her best friend in their living room."
Bucky pressed his lips against your crown with a sigh, rubbing circles on your back as he let you pick at the metal plates of his arm. It was a nervous habit. Yet you also said it was comforting, grounding, getting to feel the coldness of the prosthetic.
"Then she looked at me and saw my bump—God that dress didn't really hide much, huh?" you chuckled, voice void of humor.
Bucky loved that dress on you, and he showed you just how much before driving you to that get-together. It was a shame that the memory was now tainted.
"B-But, I don't know, it was probably because I was the only married one in our group, o-or she was just that drunk but she started targeting me," you paused with a deep breath, eyes meeting his with a shake of your head as fresh tears gathered on your waterline.
"She started yelling at me and telling me that I was rubbing it in her face, what she could've had. And then she started screaming how you would do the same any day now, if you weren't already doing it because it was obvious you won't like it that my body is changing and getting bigger a-and that you'd find some slimmer model and she told me to leave you before it's too late and I just—"
Bucky felt hot white rage grip him.
He couldn’t care less what other people's opinions of him were. With what his past life was, he learned not to let it get to him. He should feel insulted, to hear the disrespect against his morals to downright questioning his loyalty to his wife, especially from someone he couldn't give a shit about.
But he wasn't mad about that. Oh no.
He was furious about what you had to endure.
The audacity of someone to make you upset and stressed, especially in your current condition, had him outraged. No one, absolutely no one had the right to raise their voice, much less, fucking yell at you. He didn't care if it was the president of some country, a powerful alien or a close family friend—
Nobody disrespects his wife.
"You know none of that is true," he said as calmly as he could despite wanting to give that 'friend' of yours a piece of his mind. Cupping your face with both hands, he brushed his thumbs against the corner of your lips. "Hell, I showed you how much I love your changing body earlier that day in the kitchen, didn't I?"
That managed to coax a giggle from you, faint and teary but he still took it as a win.
"Look, what happened to your friend was awful. I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone," he said, jaw clenching. "But for her to bring you down with her while you're pregnant? That's just cruel."
"I'm sorry," you whispered sadly, pressing his palm on your lips. "I shouldn’t have let her words get to me."
"Sweetheart, no, you did nothing wrong," Bucky insisted. "Your emotions are all over the place as is, your hormones even more. And I know how impressionable you get when your anxiety is high and, fuck, you must've been so stressed when she basically berated you in front of everyone I just—" He took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against yours. "I wish you could've told me sooner."
"I was worried you'd take it the wrong way," you admitted shakily. "Because I do trust you, but things got loud in my head and I just—"
"I know," he hummed, smiling reassuringly. "I know, doll. You don't have to explain it to me."
You sighed, nodding, your body slowly relaxing with a hint of a grateful smile touching your lips. And with the weight slowly falling off your shoulders, your drowsiness followed suit—the fluttering of your eyelids, the calmness of your breaths as you all but rested on him.
Bucky fluffed your pregnancy pillow before gently guiding you to a comfortable position, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before pressing his lips gently onto yours. He hummed at your satisfied sigh, hands caressing your body, pouring as much of his love into every simple touch as he could muster.
"You're my whole world, my everything," he whispered to you and you only, the person who matters to him the most. "I would never put myself in a position where I'd even risk losing the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Bucky's brows furrowed when he felt a flutter against his palm where he'd rested it on your bump.
"I think someone's a little jealous," you teased softly, fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead.
"Now, we can't have that," he chuckled, shifting his body until he was face-to-face with your belly. He pulled at your shirt, revealing your skin before littering each part and stretch marks with loving kisses. Smiling, he corrected himself, "One of the best things that's ever happened to me."
His grin grew wider as you started carding your fingers through his hair. He could honestly fall asleep like this, resting on your bump with your loving touches.
"Say, you're going to kick my ass if I hurt Mama, wouldn't you, squirt?" he murmured against your tummy, his heart lurching when he felt a faint kick. Bucky gaped at you, chuckling at your giggles before pressing his lips back on your skin. "Gonna be a mama's boy I can already tell."
"I love you," you said, eyes glistening but with the smile that graced your face, Bucky knew they were happy tears this time.
"And I love you," he hummed, resting his cheek on your bump to meet your gaze, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin. "Both of you."
•••
"Doll, you don't have to do this."
"They're going to be here in an hour."
"I know but you shouldn't be on your feet too much."
"Exercise is good for pregnant women," you said, tilting your head at your husband with a knowing grin. "You told me that, according to the books you've read."
"I know what I said," Bucky groaned, hands finding your hips as he tried to gently steer you to sit on the chair, again. "But in moderation, you've been standing for—"
"Five minutes since you last made me sit down," you giggled, continuing to set up the dinner table with the snacks and appetizers you had set up. The main meal was kept warm in the oven.
It was your turn to host the get-together your friend group had once a month. And being in your third trimester, you were unable to stay up too late. So you opted on having a small brunch instead of the usual nightly gathering.
"Then, let me take care of the rest, please?" he begged, wrapping his arms around your form to stop your movements, lips pressed on the thin strap of your sundress. And if he wasn't overly cautious about your well-being, he probably would've already carried you to bed to let you rest. "Just sit and order me around."
Now, who could deny that offer?
Bucky was a great husband.
You knew this and he had done nothing but actively prove that to you time and time again.
You knew you shouldn't have let yourself get to a point of spiraling deep into your anxious thoughts that they started to affect your dreams somehow. But it honestly got overwhelming so quickly that you didn't get the chance to snap out of it. Worse yet, it made you dig the hole deeper and deeper by keeping it to yourself.
It was a lapse in judgment and, as Bucky had said, your emotions were all over the place. Not to mention, the situation wasn't at all pleasing, getting yelled at in front of an audience was awful already, a recipe for anxious disaster. What more if your hormones were making everything ten times worse?
Your friend simply caught you at the wrong moment.
The same friend that was going to be coming over in a few minutes.
You didn't tell Bucky yet because you knew he would never let her into the house. But you were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was drunk and hurting that night, emotions probably driving her rash decisions. Granted you hadn't spoken to her since, but she probably didn't mean what she had said.
Or so you thought.
After shooting you an admonishing look when he recognized who walked into the door last, Bucky was back in Pilot Mode.
It's what you named his hovering because he did go into certain modes when taking care of you, even if he argued otherwise. And despite having agreed that he was going to give you and the girls space—and he had been sulking in his office as he watched whatever game there was on—it rapidly changed when the party moved to your backyard.
The sun was at its peak in the clear blue sky, warmth evident in the air despite sitting under the shade of the large patio umbrella Bucky installed himself.
First, it was pulling you aside for some sunscreen, lathering your skin up as he lectured you about taking sips of water every now and then to stay hydrated and to go back inside if it got too hot. Then, it was standing in the kitchen, right by the open window where he had a clear view of you, discreetly observing even though his large stature was making him so obvious. Your friends had giggled about it since most did find it endearing. That last one was him bursting out of the backdoor with a cold glass of water and a clean towel in hand, wiping away any sweat that littered your skin and urging you to drink, parting away with a chaste yet loving kiss.
It was what made Karla snap.
"God, I can't believe you still fall for that shit," she scoffed once your husband had gone back inside. "Like, seriously, have you ever heard of love bombing?"
Everyone went silent at that.
"He's overprotective," you countered, though you could already start to feel your heart rate start to increase.
"More like he's overcompensating for something," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "He was a trained assassin back in the day, wasn't he? Surely he'd learned a thing or two about hiding secrets."
"Karla, drop it," Grace, a friend truly close to you, hissed with a sharp glare.
"I'm trying to save her from yet another heartbreak," she argued, before turning to you. "Like we all know how gullible and naïve you can get, a few romantic gestures and you're already blinded. I mean, considering your track record of cheaters, you should already know the signs. I know I see them with how your husband's been doting on you. It's the same thing the asshole did to me."
Your hands shook as you held the glass of water tighter, tears threatening to spill as you gritted, "Bucky is not the same—"
"Jesus, you need to open your eyes!" Karla interrupted. "I never expected you to still be this stupid—"
"That's enough."
Bucky's voice boomed through the air, his looming presence immediately behind you with a protective arm around your waist. Emotions at a high, you didn't even realize you stood up from your seat. You tried catching his gaze, but he was glaring at Karla who had now quieted down, shrinking in her place.
"I don't care about your assumptions about my morals and character because your opinion doesn't matter to me. So say whatever you want to say about me. But the second you disrespect my wife—" Bucky screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, reeling back his anger when he felt your hand on his arm.
Opening his eyes, he turned to look at you. You shook your head, not wanting to make this any bigger. He sighed, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles and then your ring before turning to Karla.
"I love making my wife happy, and she'd been looking forward to this get-together to catch up with friends. But she isn't supposed to be around any kind of stressors during her pregnancy," he said, glare dead set on your so-called friend, voice dropping as he gritted, "So get out of my fucking house."
"Buck—"
"Doctor's orders, my love. I can call her right now if you want." He gave you a sweet, knowing smile. You nodded because you knew there was no point arguing with him. Bucky turned to your friend when she refused to move. "Well? Do you want me to drag you out?"
Karla gaped at everyone, waiting for someone to protest, huffing and puffing when she found no support. It didn't take long for her to gather her things and for the front door to slam shut.
The silence hung in the air for a good minute.
"Good fucking riddance," Grace scoffed, the tension breaking as a chorus of agreement came out from everyone. "I honestly don't get why you still invited her."
"Too kind for her own good," Bucky said, raising his brow at you. You shook your head at him with a soft laugh, squeezing his hand gratefully.
"You're in your guard dog mode again," you teased.
Bucky rolled his eyes, but didn't bother denying it. That only made you grin wider.
"Well, this is supposed to be a girls' thing so I'll leave you ladies to your own devices." He nodded at everyone, giving you a sweet peck on the lips before making his way back into the house, even though you knew he was only going back to his station in the kitchen.
As soon as he was gone, everyone started gushing at you.
"You're so lucky but God you deserve it!"
"Girl, you need to set me up with a friend of his, like surely they're going to be roughly the same, right?"
"Honestly, I'm glad you're getting your happy ever after."
"Does he use that deep voice on you in bed?"
"Oh my god!" you squeaked at the last one, covering your warm face with your palms. When you peeked between your fingers, the girls were all looking at you with expectant grins, brows wriggling. You sighed, "Maybe."
They all erupted into delighted laughs at that, the conversation turning into a slightly salacious turn as they started trading in stories—both good and horrendous—and asking you for some advice on how to keep a guy satisfied or even just to spill the beans on what you and your husband get up to in bed.
Obviously, you didn't kiss and tell—well, not in too much detail. You still couldn't help but sing Bucky's praises. Of course you had to give credit where credit is due.
It was a few moments in when you caught Bucky's gaze in the open window. His wink and that handsome yet smug—his ego inflated that's for sure—smile was enough to tell you that he was listening in like the goddamn nosy super soldier that he was.
You rolled your eyes, yet your joyous smile wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Because to be in reality with James Buchanan Barnes, your husband, the love of your life, was way better than any dream you could ever have.
✫*。・゚.★. *。・゚♛ *.
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allkordelia · 10 months
Text
Keep Me Near Your Heart VII
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It didn't take long for me and aemond to get to our shared chamber, the air was filled with a sense of melancholia and anticipation. As we made our way into our solar passing Ser Krey, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of unease. My heart felt too heavy and my chest felt like someone was squeezing it, I put my hand on my belly rubbing it trying to calm myself down, and return my baby kicked making my heart feel less heavy.
Once we were in our chamber, Aemond wasted no time in taking me to bed. I tried to push the uneasiness from my mind as we lay together, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. However, before long, the exhaustion of the day caught up with me, and the unsettling feeling slowly started to drift into the back of my mind as I drifted off to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up to find myself alone in the bed. It took a moment for me to realize that Aemond was gone, and another moment for my worries to turn into anger. Feeling stupid for letting myself be fooled by Aemond's outward displays of affection, I toss the sheets and covers aside, sliding out of bed, to find and confront my husband. I pushed open the door, turning my head to look around the solar, a small hope that he would be there reading or sleeping on a settee, but nope, he was not there either.
I shook my head angrily and stalked towards the door, I slammed my fist into the door knocking trying to get the knights on the other side's attention, I paused waiting before going back to banging on the doors.
"Open this fucking door, right now. Or I swear to The Mother, you will have hell to pay--" Before I could finish my threat the door opened revealing Ser Krey, I glared at him, "Where is he?" I asked making the other man look hesitant before answering.
"Who--"
"Don't." I grit making Krey press his lips together, "Where is my husband." I asked again. 
Krey opened and closed his mouth as no one came out, the longer he stood there rambling like a fool, the longer my anger mounted. When no one words that could dwindle my feelings, I grab the neck of his chest plate making Krey's words fade away as he is brought to my eye level.
"Take me to my husband or I'll call my dragon to do." My threat hung in the air, and Krey's eyes flickered between mine as he thought, I let go of him when he finally nodded his head making him stand straight.
"I take you to him, my lady."                            
「                            ⊹₊♚₊⊹                           」
Krey was ahead of me as he led me through the halls, I rubbed my fingers together nervously.
What was I going to say? Was this a good idea, maybe I should go back.
I stopped at the thought before the uneasiness from earlier came back, a flutter in my tummy making me put my hand on my stomach feeling my baby move around. A warm feeling spread in my chest when I felt the baby kick, I looked down to the floor as tears welled in my eyes.
Something in me is telling me to turn back to go back to my chamber and forget about Aemind and whatever he is doing. But, how could I when he lied to me and used me, after he promised me she didn't mean anything, why was I so stupid to trust that he meant what he said, I shook my head angrily as the warm feeling turned cold in my heart, he lied he doesn't care about me or our baby? He never cared. I hate him.
"My lady?" I glance up at Krey as he stands at the end of the hall watching me with an unreadable look.
"...coming," I say softly, before continuing as he turns a corner.
A ping of fear plucked at my heart before a wave of anger and bitterness washed it. I was going to give him a piece of my mind, and after that, I will never speak to him again and I will make my sole mission that doesn't come near me or my baby.
I look around not knowing where we are, we are close to the queen's chamber you know that for sure, but what would Aemond be doing here?
"His chamber, m'lady." I look over at Ser Krey as he stands in front of me, he steps aside, revealing a black door with a dragon as a handle.
So, this is where he takes her, what an obvious place. He didn't even try to find a secure location to hide his infidelity, that bastard, that horrible cheating manipulative bastard.
A growl rambles through my chest, as I glare at the door where my supposed 'loving' husband is supposed to be. I move past Ser Krey with such haste that it takes him a moment to go after me and stop me from banging on Aemond's door, I turn my glare to Krey as he looks down at me with an unsure look.
"Are you sure about this, m'lady?" He asks low, making me furrow my brows.
"Of course, I am, why wouldn't I be?" I questioned angrily, Krey gave me a worried look.
"I just...think you should think about what you about to do," I frown a bit at the concern in her voice, "I just fear that whatever is behind that door, you might get hurt or worse your baby." I quirk a brow at him, why does he care if I get hurt or not, I knock his hand from my elbow and stare at him remembering what he did.
"Don't pretend to care about me." He frowns down at me.
"I do care about you, princess--" He starts.
"Shut up! Your loyalty lies with my husband, and that bastard, Ser Cole." He looks at me taken back, "Yes, I know that you took his side over mine, and lied to my husband for him." Ser Krey looks away from me with guilt and shame written on his face.
"I had no choice, Ser Ashford--"
"I don't care." I said making him look at me, "Because you weren't where you were supposed to be, I lost my baby and I had to live with that every day, " I croaked, Ser Krey looked at me with pleading eyes, he looked like he wanted to say something but choose again it.
"I...I'm sorry, m'lady."
I snarl keeping my bottom lip from trembling, "Too late, now get out of my way." I said elbowing past him, I stalked towards Aemond's door.
I stopped, putting my ear close to the door to see if I could hear anything, it was quiet, so I stepped closer pressing my ear to the door hoping to hear better. When I didn't hear anything I pulled back with a frown, maybe I was wrong, maybe was reckless and went for a walk, he was probably back in our chamber--
"Aemond," A sultry voice of a female thrill, loud enough to be heard through the door.
My heart clenched when I heard deep laughter that you never heard from Aemond fill the air before a familiar deep groan replaced it, my stomach churned feeling like I was going to throw up, I swallowed down the lump in my throat and started banging on the door.
I heard a hushed whisper, when the door didn't open I banged again with both fists, clenching my jaw to keep from yelling not wanting to give away that it was me. It took a minute before the door opened, I watched Aemond peek out but before he could register it was me. I shoved the door open causing him to stumble back as I made my way into his chamber, I looked around it was very aemond, everything was black or grey and there were books along with scrolls scattered on his desk.
"Jaenara." I ignored Aemond's shock and whipped around to face his bed to find the person I was looking for.
The darker-haired woman looked at me with wide and fearful eyes, she was holding the covers against her chest but you could see her naked shoulder, I glanced at aemond to see he was not wearing a shirt. I look back at the woman, observing her features, she was pretty I give her that.
"Jaenara, what--" I turn on my heels and stalk towards the door.
Aemond moved to touch me but dodged his hand and walked out of the room, Ser Krey was standing in the hall still with a downcast look.
"Jaenara, where--wait." Aemond was behind me.
I felt his hand on my shoulder, I turned quickly without thinking and slapped my palm across his cheek causing him to snap his head to the right. I step back taking his hand off my shoulder, he looks at me with a mixture of shock and anger, making my anger build.
"Your dead to me." Aemond looked taken back by my words before he had appeared.
"We talk about this later." I shook my head turning away from him, walking away when spoke again, "Ser Krey, make sure my sweet wife gets escorted back to our chamber--" I whipped around as I got near Ser Krey
"The hell with you!" I seethe, and he just sneers at me, Ser Krey grabbed my shoulder before I could stalk back to my bastard I called my husband.
"M'lady, please. Do as he says." I shrugged his hand off me and turned from him to walk down the hall with my hand on my belly.
I took deep breaths as I walked, my body felt like it was about to shut down, and I bit my lip to prevent myself from exploding. The nerve of him, to have the guts to laugh in my face after I caught him, I should have listened to jacerys, I should have never allowed myself to trust him. I should never have allowed myself to love him, bastard.
I groan stopping feeling a stir in my belly, I leaned against the wall as pain shot through me.
"M'lady, are you alright?" Ser Krey asked behind me, I grit my teeth and nodded before pushing myself off the wall, a sudden wave of nausea hit making me stumble causing Ser Krey to latch his hands onto my waist to steady me, "M'lady, if you are not feeling well you must tell, and I'll go get the masters." I shook my head biting down on my tongue.
"I'm fine..." I grunt, "...just get me back to my chamber," I ordered.
Ser Krey uttered something under his breath, and before I knew it u were getting lifted off my feet. My arm shot up to wrap around Ser Krey's shoulder, shooting him a look as he carried me in his arms.
"I'm not crippled, you fool. Put me down I can walk--"
"Not risky it, m'lady." He says, as I hold onto his chest plate for dear life, he is quiet for a minute as he walks before finally speaking,"...I know you think I don't care about you but I do..." he starts, I sigh resting my head on his shoulder keeping my eyes on the wall, "...more than you think, don't ask me why, I just do, ever since I first meet you I have only wanted to protect you." I stayed quiet not entertaining this charade, "Just want you to know that from henceforth on, I will protect you and my loyalty will only lie with you, princess. Always." I could feel his nose brushing against my forehead as he looked at me, I closed my eyes ignoring him.
He can say whatever he wants, he will not trick me into believing he truly cares.                              
「                            ⊹₊♚₊⊹                           」
Ser Krey set me down once we were in the solar, Enith came out of my chamber with a worried look.
"Princess, you worried me to death, where were you." She asked coming to my side, before grabbing my hand, I glanced at her before looking away and taking my hand from her grasp.
"I'm going to bed." Enith frowned before I walked passed her, I heard whispering behind me but shut it out as I walked into my room.
I put my hand on the side of my belly and climbed onto the bed, I moved the pillow belonging to Aemond behind me as I lay perched there. I patterned my fingers on my belly waiting for Enith knowing she was going to have a lot of questions, I looked to my half-open door when I heard the main door closed and a pad of feet coming my way.
Enith walks in coming over to stand at the end of the bed with her hands clasped together.
"You scared me half to death, you know." She started low," Where did you go, jaenara." She asked, I glanced away from her, I didn't want to talk about it or even think about it, but how could I keep this to myself?
I want to tell her everything but can't, I thought finding out the truth would have made it easy for me not to love aemond. Even though I hated him with every fiber of my being, I still loved him even if he didn't care that I found out about his infidelity.
A storm of emotions swirling inside me, and before I knew it tears welled up in my eyes as my mind played the deep rambling of his laugh through the door. He never laughed around me, he barely even smiled my way, gods why did he marry me, I never did anything to him. It was nice. I was kind to him, was that not enough? What did I have to do to get him to look at me like that or to love me like he did her?
I was given a chance to be with her but he chose to give me more pain, I felt the weight of betrayal and heartbreak crushing me, and I broke down in sobs.
"Oh, my lady." Enith rushed over to me, I covered my face with my hands as I sobbed harder, in an instant I felt Enith wrap me in her embrace, "Please, my lady, tell me what happened. Was it the prince? Did he do something to you?" She accused holding me to her chest.
"He...He..." I couldn't get the words out, it was too painful to say out loud. I felt a rumble in Enith's chest as she growled.
"Curse him. Did he put his hands on you? I swear to gods, I'll kill him if he did, jaenara." I sniff, moving my hand to wipe at my cheek, I shifted so I could look up at Enith with a teary smile.
"I wish I was like you, You are so brave and so fearless." I sniff downcasting, "Maybe, if I was a little bit like you I wouldn't be in this mess." Enith sighs from above before caressing my hair.
"You shouldn't be in this mess in the first place, you deserve better than Aemond. You deserve someone who will love you back unconditionally, not someone who only thinks about themselves." She said softly as her hand moved between my hair and my back, I swallowed moving close to her.
"That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while." Enith chuckles making me join her.
"That's not funny," Enith says.
"I know but it's better to laugh than to cry, right?" Enith hummed.
"Right."
Enith laid her cheek on the top of my head as she started humming, a sweet song that I heard her hum around the solar as she cleaned up. The song was smoothing, and rocked us gently, swaying as I slowly calmed down.
"Are you ready to tell me, what happened, m'lady?" Enith finally asked, I sniff rubbing my eyes before nodding.
Enith pulled back to look at me, her hands were on my forearm, gently massaging them.
"...I woke up alone after aemond put me to bed, I had an inkling at the celebration of why aemond was being distant..." I pressed my lips together feeling them them begin to tremble, "So, I had Ser Krey take me to him and..." I shook my head, thinking couldn't finish the sentence, I heard Enith sigh sadly as she moved her hands to squeeze minds.
"Oh, princess, I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. I truly thought he would have some heart to break it off before the baby came. " Enith says sympathetic.
I nod my head before stopping after realizing what she just said, I look at Enith as she stares at our hands.
"Wait..." Enith looks at me as I take my hands back, "...you knew about her?" I  asked, Enith gave me a guilty look, and my heart felt heavy again, "Oh my gods." I whispered, moving away from her and causing Enith to frown.
"Jaenara--"
"How long?" I asked looking down at my covers.
"My lady--" Enith reached her hand out to touch me but I moved further away from her and snapped my eyes at her.
"I said how long," I hissed making Enith look at me with sadness before looking away.
"Since her arrival." My eyes widen, thinking if she was telling the truth that would mean..." You knew for three weeks and didn't tell me." I accused getting off the bed to look at her, Enith looked ashamed.
"It didn't want to overwhelm you with such news--" I let out a bitter laugh.
"Overwhelmed me? Rather than telling me my husband has been fucking some...some harlot this whole time, you thought to keep it a secret." I saw, that everything in my body was shaky I was so mad that she kept this for me.
"I was trying to protect you." Enith defends.
"Protect me! Here I thought it was me. That I did something wrong, that I said something to drive him away. Oh, gods." My hands went into my hair clenching it as I started to pace, "I blamed myself for weeks on end, cried myself to sleep, and you knew the whole time that he has been lying with that woman." I shouted looking back at her, causing her to flinch.
"I'm sorry--" I grabbed the candle holder next to me and threw it across the room making it smash against the mirror in the corner.
"I am sick of hearing that. You are not. None of you are." I cried putting my hands on my chest as everything began to feel too much, "I thought you care about me. Trusted you." I weep.
"I do, m'lady. I do care about you, please you have to understand why I did it." Enith had tears falling down her cheeks, as she got up and made her way around she tried to get me to listen, and I glared at her angrily moving away.
"No! I don't have to listen to you. You don't care about me, you never did you were just another person to keep me under his thumb." Enith shakes her head as she denies my claims, "I don't want to hear it! I want you out of my sight." I screamed.
"Jaenara, please--" Enith begged, I shook my head and covered my ears.
"Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" I repeated, "I hate you. I hate you all now. GET OUT." Enith duck as I threw one of my shoes at her. 
I march over to her and start pushing her towards the door, as zenith tries to reason with me, I feel a pain in my lower stomach but ignore it.
"I don't ever want to see you again." I gave her one last shove before shutting my door and slamming the lock in place to keep her out.
"Jaenara, please. Don't do this." Enith says, her voice muffled.
I put my back against the door, why was everybody against me, what did I do to deserve this life?
The pain from earlier returns but worse, I moan in pain as I bend over clenching my stomach. When the pain stopped I slowly made my way across the room, but before I could reach my bed another pain shot through me causing me to collapse. I tried to grab onto the settee but my hand slipped against it making me bump my side into the small table, knocking over a vase, causing a glass to break.
"Jaenara? What--What was that?" Enith called through the door, enith pulled at the handle frantically as she called my name again.
I was on my knees when I saw, the spots of blood on my nightgown. I whimper as I realize what is happening, I start to cry out as my body wreck in agony.
"Jaenara, please. Answer me." I only cried out harder in response as my baby tried to come into this world, "Guards! Ser Krey!" I took in deep breath, remembering what my mother did when she went into labor with Joffrey.
I used the little strength I had to crawl onto the settee to sit on the edge, I moaned clenching the cushions before parting my legs. I heard hurried footsteps before I heard Enith yelling, before being calmed down by Ser Krey. I flinch when the door banged as if someone ran into it, I look over at the door weakly as they do it again making the door shake.
I turn away as I suck in deep breaths, the baby was early and it was coming, rather I liked it or not. I lick my dry lips before biting down on my bottom lip, I push as I clench the cushions. I stopped taking a breather for a moment before pushing again, I couldn't help but let out a sharp yell as it felt like my body was being torn apart.
"Hold on, princess!" Ser Krey shouted through the door.
"Ahhh..." I yelled again as I pushed once again.
My legs shook when I felt pressure between them, I moved to drag my gown up over my knees as I got ready to hold my baby. I took in quick breath before pushing again, my painful groans soon turned into screams as I pushed as hard as I could.
My screams mixed with another's as I felt my baby slide out into my hands, I gasped before leaning back on the settee, and I chortled at my baby wailing. He was alive! I brought him closer and used my nightgown to wipe off the blood and grim before gazing at him. I mean her. It was a girl. Aemond wasn't going to be happy about this. 
Fuck him.
I don't care if his happy or not, I birth to a girl, my baby girl. My Visenya. I gazed down at her with wonder, she was small but not too small to worry, I brushed my hand over her head caressing it sweetly. I smiled widely when she opened her eyes, I could sense she was wondering where she was as she pulled the cutest face.
"Hello, beautiful." Visenya blinked slowly at me before her little arm reached up.
The door finally barged open making me look over it with frantic eyes, visenya started to cry again at the sudden loud noise. I looked down at her and held her to my chest, rocking her, trying to hush her cries.
"Gods be good." Ser Ashford said by the door.
"Oh, my lady." Enith's voice made me look over at her as she collapsed by my side.
"I'm calling her, Visenya," I said making Enith look from the baby to me, she gave a teary smile.
"A perfect name for the perfect baby." I smiled at that before looking down at my baby, "...jaenara, I am sorry for not telling you, I just...I just didn't want to stress you or baby, you have to understand that." I sigh moving my thumb to caress Visenya's cheek.
Before I was angry, mostly at aemond, and I took it out on Enith. I understand. If she had told me weeks ago, I'd probably have done what she said, stress myself out by putting me and my baby in harm's way. She was right to keep it from me, even though deep down I wish I knew, so I didn't have to waste time worrying about aemond and focus on getting him back.
"Thank you..." I look at her, "...I'm sorry too." Enith smiles at me before maester orwyle comes around.
"We must check the babe, princess." I looked at him warily, keeping a secure hand on my baby's back, "I promise you will get her back once you all rested up." I frown as he nears with wetnurses and servants, he takes a vial out of his robe with a milky substance in it, "...for the pain." He says handing it over to Enith, there was a stir in my gut that was telling me not to give him my baby,
"It's okay." I look at Enith, and she smiles at me making me feel less worried, "I'll be with her the whole time, and once you wake we will be the first you see." Enith held out the vial for me, I was hesitant for a minute before taking the vial out of her hand.
Enith gently grabbed the baby from me, and my heart clenched as Visenya let out a whimper. I watched as Enith stood up and followed maester Oswyle, soon Ser Krey came to stand by my side.
"Do you need help getting up, my lady?" I look at him before turning to watch Enith and the maester walk out of the room.
"No...I-I got it." I used the arm of the settee to get up, and Ser Krey's hand shot up to catch my arm before I stumbled. He removed his hand once I was steady, he put one arm around my waist as the other held my left hand, and he helped me to my bed.
I wince as I climb up on the bed with little assistance from Ser Krey, I settle against the headboard as Krey puts the covers over my middle.
"Don't forget your medicine, my lady." Krey says finally stepping back to look at me, I nod my head looking down at the vial in my hand, "You were so brave, princess." He says making me look at him, "I'm happy you okay." I hummed before looking at the vial.
"Thank you," I mumbled, I twisted the vial in my hand as I made Krey step away from my bed.
I sigh before uncorking the vial, I look over at the open door before turning my attention back to the vial. I took a deep breath before taking a sip of the poppy's milk, the taste was odd, I corked in the vial and set it on the side table. I sigh again, looking up at the ceiling, my body hurts but not as much as it did when I was pushing Visenya out. I squeeze my eyes shut before opening them, feeling them grow heavy, I blink up at the ceiling of my bed, focusing on the pattern of the fabric.
Slowly I could feel myself drifting off, the sounds around growing muffled, as I shut my eyes just to rest them for a few. The last thing I heard before I fell into a deep slumber, was a feminine voice that sounded gentle but slight edge.
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enterrandomname · 7 months
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Albert Wesker x Gn!Reader
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Warning: May be OOC, who knows, Wesker being possessive(?)
Word Count: 436 words
⋆——————✧◦♚◦✧——————⋆
“Dearheart, have you seen my sungl-” He paused, a smirk forming on his face as he leaned against the doorframe, watching you impersonate him. He found it quite amusing.
“Uroboros will be released into the atmosphere, ensuring complete global saturation." You huffed in annoyance as the sunglasses kept slipping down your nose despite multiple attempts to adjust them.
“So that’s where they were.” His voice startling you. Oh shit, did he see your horrible voice-acting skills? “Albert! At least give me a warning! You could’ve given me a heart attack.” You placed your hand on your chest, feeling your heart racing. “Do you want them back, darling?” You watched as he made his way toward you.
“Dearheart, I never said that I wanted them back.” He stated, gripping your chin as he placed a kiss on your cheek. “In fact, I want you to keep them as a symbol to show others that you’re mine.” His gloved hand made its way towards your chin, stroking it. You could only gaze up at his radiant, crimson-feline-like eyes. Almost finding yourself hypnotized by them.
You bit your bottom lip, finally glancing away from your husband’s hypnotic-like eyes. “Darling…” He never acted like this. Shaking your head, you sighed as you wrapped your arms around his chest. Wesker’s eyes widened for a moment, his body tensing in response. You had almost forgotten that he wasn’t used to hugs.
“Now I feel bad for even taking these. How about we go shopping next time? And then we’ll be matching!” You exclaimed, placing your hands on Wesker’s face. His eyes stared into yours before he nodded.
It’s almost absurd how you were able to tame the beast inside of him. He was always gentle with you, afraid that he was going to kill you instantly. The Albert Wesker being afraid? It can make any person laugh as if you were crazy!
Suddenly, Wesker’s phone rang, shattering the peacefulness the two of you were enjoying. He muttered curses before answering the phone, his back facing you. “What is it?” His eyebrows furrowed as he heard the news. “I’ll be there. Don’t do anything foolish till I get there.” He hung up, not wanting to hear another word from the caller. You frowned, as you knew what this meant. Work, work, and even more work. Apparently, being a god was more important than you.
“Don’t worry, dearheart,” he said soothingly, turning around to face you with a feint smile on his face. “If you behave well, maybe I’ll reward you, hm? Would you like that? A reward for just being a good little pet.”
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pieroulette · 1 year
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𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: 𝐌𝐘 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍
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𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 | 𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 | 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝟕 × 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
SUMMARY you couldn't believe how your life could turn out for the worse when you were force to take on the body of the wicked and sadistic daughter of a Duke who has countless of enemies ready to stomp on her once they had the very chance. Eyes seething with vengeance and walls like ears—you had no choice but to protect yourself; you either act like her and therefore risk your life even more or overturn people's perception on her and lay low behind the spotlight. Yet the era you were thrown into seems far more complicated than you think when you attracted more eyes than you planned to do so.
GENRE/WARNING reverse harem, comedy, royal au, romance, fluff, angst, time loop/time travel, politics, 18th century au, attempted tongue mutilation, profanity.
WORD COUNT — 5k
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•{ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ' 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 }•
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"So.. you're telling me," hesitating in gesturing to yourself, "That I'm the daughter of a duke?" the maid nodded slowly, seemingly concerned. "And that I have two brothers.. who are currently out of town. And that I'm the only daughter." your mind fleet away as every word sank in your soul. "And it's the year 1816 right now?"
She nodded again.
And you scoffed terribly, brushing your forehead as you giggled almost like it's a joke. "Yah, who hired you?"
"T-the head took me in a few months ago, milady!"
"No bitch, I was asking who hired you? Which member recommended you to the theater?" You slapped the table repeatedly, "As far as I know, I have never seen you or anyone in my team! Wait—are you perhaps from another team?"
"H-huh, I do not understand what you are trying to imply, milady."
"Stop lying." You pointed your index finger to her face. "Quit acting, where's the freaking cameras? This must be a surprise test, huh?! Come out! I just got into an accident and you all are already giving me an exam for fuck's sake!"
"N-no!" she shrieked terribly much to your cringing face. "I— how- am I.. supposed to? Milady?!" hiccups emitted a couple of times, the girl unable to finish her sentences before suddenly weeping for the nth time, glueing her forehead on the floor
Your jaw dropped, frowning. "Stop calling me that! And h-hey! I haven't even say anything much yet and you're already crying? How much in the script did it actually tell you to cry this much?!"
"My apologies, miladyyy!" her whining cause you to close your ears in frustration, and the two maids behind the door had their head hanging so low it might snap as they pulled their fellow mate away, the familiar old lady from just now came instead, falling on her knees before you.
"Milady." Hanging her head low, she did, as she called out for you. "Perhaps, you don't recognise any one of us?"
"Do I look like I do?" You nonchalantly answered, raising your right leg on top of the chair.
That alone caused the Madame's eyes to ogle out, "Milady! That's very unladylike to sit! Please do not—"
"Excuse me? If you are trying to mould me into a—" swaying your hand in patterns, "Feminine, lovable, innocent wife for your boss. Then fucking quit it."
"Milady!" The Madame taken aback by you, proceeded to go outside, urging the maids to call upon someone. "Oh lord, what has happen to the lady that she had to utter such vile words!"
—♚—
Stress.
Indeed, the entire manor was engulfed with nothing but pure stress with your total switch of a personality—for the very reason of you barging the door without knocking, walking very unladylike, pushing yourself out the first floor's window to look out the garden, or even at worse cases which had their orbs ogling out terribly was when you pull up your gown with the reasons of it being tremendously hot, or when you plucked out the hair ornaments on your hair, or any accessories at sight.
“Lady (Name)... seems so different, doesn't she?” says the young servant as she pours a bucket of water on the marble floor.
“I like her a bit now, though.” the other replied.
“You sure about that?—” they both raise their head up to you standing afar with your head shooting outside the patterned holes of the walls. "The lady.. truly acts eccentric nowadays. I heard the doctor diagnosed with her mental problems."
"Don't tell me you're having such thoughts! Where did you even heard such baseless rumors? Keep that to yourself or else you'll earn it."
"Ugh, fine." The servant groaned to herself. "Honestly, I truly think the chandelier could've possibly damaged the lady's brain to the point she had a total switch of personality."
“Well, at least, we aren’t reprimanded as we used to.” The other replied. "Aren't you glad of it?"
Unknown to the wonders of this new, or atleast old world. A distant feeling consumed your heart as you could be the only one right here, right now. All alone by yourself—you've finally come into conclusion that you truly, were indeed, in the era of 1816.
What a fucking joke.
A teacup snapped into numerous pieces across the carpeted floor, dark brown contents splattered horrendously before the maid's horrific realisation, ultimately falling on her knees.
“I'm–m! I apologise! I deserve to die but no– no! Please I have a family to feed! Certainly they would fall into their demise upon my death, I greatly beg you young lady! Please!”
Baffled over her exaggerated and frantic reaction as if you were going to get her beheaded at any moment just because of a simple fallen teacup and its scattered leafy tea on the carpeted red floor. You laughed awkwardly, “It’s o-okay? It’s just a teacup afterall?”
"I-it's not! My lady, I greatly apologize!" She weep in pure agony, faint red dripping from her forehead as she slammed it repeatedly on the floor.
You stood there in slight shock at the desperate actions of the maid, why are they so beyond frightened of you? Did what you heard were actually true?
The young lady of this family, you heard—after a series of gathered information from what you've came to piece the puzzle together; the daughter of the duke was a one cunning and merciless lady, with an extreme intelligence surpassing of that the highest scholar in the country but one that had been deemed beneath the soil for the duke, her father—had ordered for it.
That she, a woman, shall only stay inside her home, and appease her soul by waiting for a hand in marriage. It's such an atrocious joke, really. How could you even wonder, some parents just don't deserve a child for they only deemed their child's existence as an investment. Not more than that.
The young lady also had a blast of short temper, judging by how the maids often whimper and tremble when you appear before them—acting as if their life was on the edge of the cliff every single time.
You overheard one of them that the lady had ordered for a public humiliation for one of the previous maids who dared to go up against her, stripping her off her dignity and letting men devour her like a dangling fresh meat.
She's like a ticking time bomb.
It had you a tad bit conflicted over what to feel with the lady, or whether to think of her as a completely wronged lady whose talents were gone to be drained by the father, or a spoiled brat using her power to trample on the weak.
Sighing as you watched the garden out the window, surely—it shouldn't be any of your concern right? Anything personal regarding the lady should be scrapped, and only what's necessary should be kept for you have to survive in her body with the infamous reputation she earned—till you're able to find a way back to your original life.
Tapping your chin as you brought yourself in a deep thought, you were contemplating over what to do. Right, your lips pulled up into a slight beaming smile that had the maids eyes widening in utter surprise, unable to process the eccentric sight before them.
"Get up, dear." The maid trembled slightly with your hands pulling her up in a gentle manner, "It's perfectly fine, such trivial mistakes had no need to waste such a tremendous energy upon. You may go now."
"Thank you, milady!" she held her head down before walking off but you had a bunch of curiosity you'd been dying to ask since awhile, and the maid seems the fairly perfect person to ask.
"Stop."
"Y-y-yes, milady?"
"I want you tell me about something-"
And that question was how the lady had got into an accident, since you overheard the passing maid that the lady had been in a coma for almost a month, and no one outside the manor was to be inform about it. That she had to be acclaimed as all well and safe. You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering how and why?
How did she got into one and why are they trying to keep it? Sure, the lady had such a bad temper and merciless indeed that she definitely would have plenty of souls desiring to get back on her while she's rendered unconscious. But surely, it ain't that serious? It isn't as if the young lady had a status as high as the princess or the queen.
Your curiosity were confirmed though as the young maid told you everything; that the lady had attended a noble event as she often did so her entire life, a daily occurrences for nobles like the prince and princesses, duke and duchesses and their children, royal officials and high status people to attend to. However on that fateful day, the lady had a dance with a prince and as they do so on the dance floor. The chandelier above the ceiling tragically fell on top of them; the lady and the prince.
It wreck a horrendous havoc in the ballroom and the guards immediately gathered before their unconscious bodies.
The rest was history, and only the young lady's father the Duke and a few royal officials had a knowledge about this tragic incident. Not even the young lady's brothers had any knowledge of it as they were currently out the state. They kept it a secret as to find the culprit, because once the news of the young lady and the prince being in a state of coma came out; the culprit certainly would come back.
Regarding the prince, no one had known how he is currently now. Only assuming that he, too, might still be in a coma just like you are.
The chandelier.. it sort of the same as the incident on the theater. How is this possible? Could this be a mere coincidence?
"That's all I can say, milady."
"Ah, I couldn't thank you enough." you rubbed her hand which causes her cheeks to flushed in both shock and embarrassment, her eyes beaming as she nodded frantically.
"You can count on me, milady!"
You've decided for now to go on easy on them, for now, that is. It's quite difficult to make a decision for this body that doesn't belong to you. But you'd have to ease up a little, and observe your surroundings by studying everyone's characters in this manor. By then, you'll definitely know what to do until you can think of a way to get back to your real life.
A few days had passed since then, and surprisingly they had called atleast a few private doctors the manor had, and yet they couldn't exactly tell what was wrong with you. You rolled your eyes, how could they? How could a doctor could possibly know that you were another soul, from the modern era in someone's body. Might as well call the shaman for this, but you ain't gonna risk that and possibly had yourself labeled as a witch.
Sighing, just why every door has terrible outcome behind them?
Apparently, after a series of failed attempts, the doctor simply assume that you might have an amnesia. Of course, they were skeptical as the chandelier didn't even collide against your damn head so how could you even? Trauma? Probably. That's why the doctor had asked for you to recuperate first and they'll return after a two weeks.
"We can never tell more than five people as it would surely start a rumour and possibly threaten the house of Solon, especially you, milady, has a significant position in the political affairs along with your father, the Duke."
"Losing a fragment of memories, is a fatal mistake. If by any chance it is proven, we had to keep it as a secret. We surely would help you regain your memories back by then, milady."
You could only nod and go along with them as you sipped through your teacup. What else have you to say? Your only one priority is to get back to your old life as soon as you can. Who cares what they are up to?
Somewhere in the manor's quarters—the news quickly reached the every and each person's ears, causing havoc and surprise onto everyone's faces.
"So it's due to the lady losing her memories, that she's treating us good now?"
"I didn't know that was possible!"
"Ha, we could use this to our own advantage."
—♚—
Over the course for the past few weeks, you brought a hell lot of papers with you, stacking them up in the library where you could see them easily.
A role.
Another role, the young lady; you studied the young lady's character by gaining as much as information you could gather by the maids and guards, or anything you could lay your eyes on, either by blatantly asking them or by sneaking in to their conversations.
Taking a deep breathe in, your eyes fluttered as it opens—the dust particles floating in the sun rays flew past your vision, the background gradually growing vague and blurry. Lifting your feet, and another one and so on through the entire room; imitating the lady's way of walking, and how she carries herself, how she talks, how she reacts, how she gaze at someone depending on who they are.
It wasn't perfect, for the information was tremendously limited. However, you had to do best with what you only have.
Somehow, you notice yourself growing somewhat petty and impatient in this body. You weren't entirely sure if it's a fragment of the lady's personality, or yours. It's just that, you tend to voice out without thinking much nowadays which kind of scares you.
Sighing tremendously like any other day you did as you sat on the bench in the center of the garden, where you've been seating yourself for quite awhile now to revise your plans but for some reasons which had you annoyed was another maid standing beside you. You tried to hushed her away before but she reasoned with you that she was assigned to look after you, for you still haven't recovered. How are you suppose to do it with her presence then?
"Look at me, I'm already walking!"
"But, milady. It's dangerous."
"Oh god, leave me alone." Standing up on your feet with these pair of heels drilling a hole on your sole, you lifted your gown, grabbing your heels much to the maid's utter shock and went on your way to the manor, completely bare feet. Thinking of what to eat for today before doing the rest of what you want to do in your room instead. Scrap the fresh air while revising your plans, seriously.
"Milady!" the maid held the need to ask for you to slow down as she gradually increase her speed after you who were obviously trying to evade her.
The sun must be plotting to burn you alive today, seriously. Sure, it was nice to live in such an extravagant, wealthy ass manor but it reminds you nothing but of your parents, totally irritating.
Hm?
You paused on your tracks when your peripheral vision caught sight of an intricate carriage pulling up in the entrance. Curiosity engulfed your foggy mind as you squint to take a good look of who's inside it.
"Milady!—ah!" The maid almost stumble on your back, gulping immensely down her throat as she almost sell her life for the day.
“Who’s.. that?”
The maid followed your line of vision, eyes widening at what met her sight. “Oh! That is Sir Noa!"
"N-noa?"
"Yes! Milady, that is the third son of the Solon family, young Marquess Noa. It is your younger brother, young lady.”
Your younger brother.. your younger brother? your younger brother—what?!
Wait-what? You let out a breath of gasp as the young tall man with humongous dark aura circulating over him—step one foot each closer and everything behind him grew smaller. His intimidating orbs softens into spring like gentle of the petals and his lips kisses his rosy cheeks as he continued to get closer, closer..
And closer.
“Young lady.”
His hair—as if a silk fabric of black and golden blond pouring altogether like a brewed tea to the quarters of a patterned teacup. Pouring down over to cover bits of his flattery eyelashes. His voice; just so much akin to his aura yet it seems like as if he intentionally softens his vocal chords to match your feeble form, yet still strong enough as if to acknowledge your presence.
“I’ve came home.”
"U-uh, welcome home?" you gave him a small smile, unsure if it's the right thing to do but still it won't hurt since he's supposedly the lady's younger brother, right? Fuck. You seriously have no idea, you forgot to ask the maid whether the lady and this boy are close enough.
Yet the first thought you had was, just how old the hell is this boy for him to be this tall?!
He cleared his throat. "I had to say that I missed you alot after horrendous months without being by your side, sister. How have you been doing?
You're about to cringe, he called you sister? What are you supposed to say, brother? I'm certainly doing fine, brother! Or, why are you even asking this, brother? Or, i've just went to—ugh! Just go along with it, seriously!
Shaking your head with a small smile forming on your lips, "I'm doing all well, brother."
His eyebrows knitted in utter confusion. Well shit, was that a wrong call?! "B-brother? Have you ever called me that?"
"U-uh-"
"Sir," the maid exclaimed a tad bit loud for your throbbing ears, "The lady are currently recuperating after falling into terrible sickness, I had to bring the lady to get her daily meds right now."
"Wait? Sickness?" Noa furrowed, the bright smile on his face dissipates as worry consumed his heart. "Milady, are you- no, I assume you don't feel any pain, now?"
"Y-yes, I rested alot, actually."
Noa was about to say something but held the need to do so, opting to brought his usual smile. "I was actually wondering if we could have a sparring session by noon like we always used to, but hearing such terrible news made me think that we could do that some other day."
Uh? S-sparring session? W-what is he saying? You stuttered as you ask him. "Sparring session?"
"May I be as bold as to get your permission again to hold a sparring session with you milady, as we often did? I've improved quite more than you think, milady."
What the fuck are you suppose to say? What in the sparring session is he saying? Swords? Fighting swords? And does he mean the real heavy words that the knights used?! The sword you used during theater are only made out of plastic, and was the only material you practice during lessons, so you couldn't imagine how the real swords would feel on your palms. It dawned on you on that one particular day that you tried to grab the real deal of a sword in an exhibition, and your wrist almost break in a half because of it!
What are you supposed to say now? Should I reject it? Should I take it? But he was asking for my permission! But keyword was freaking 'again'! It means the lady has never rejected her younger brother's request for sparring session! What should I do? You weep into your internal void.
"Sure." your tongue betrayed yourself, well goodbye to your life. The young man instantly had a smile so beaming it blinded your vision, saying a few more words before he soon took his leave, pressing a soft kiss on your hand before doing so.
"Oh, shit." you stood there, utterly frozen.
"Milady, you—yourself often went to sparring session with the guards whenever you had a slight change of mood, or when you need to take some fresh air. It was a usual hobby you and your younger brother often do together—what's wrong milady?"
"N-nothing, it's just the heat, I assume."
—♚—
A dinner with your supposedly younger brother for now turn out to be fairly serene, not that you'd expect it to be utter chaos but you were thinking that he would bombarded you with numerous questions, however you were beyond glad that it isn't the case. You took numerous glances at him taking a couple of sips from his teacup, as he thumbed through the pages of his book.
Noa, seems rather quiet than what his outer demeanour looks like—you'd expected him to atleast be bold or atleast a sharp tongue alike his piercing orbs. However, maybe it's too early to say. Plus, he probably has a different treatment towards each person. So were you actually right that he had a close relationship with his sister, the lady?
Time will only tell.
Ugh, this is trouble. You couldn't stop your hand from trembling pathetically even when you gripped it with the other as you walked side by side with Noa to the site where the sparring session will be held. You were about to cry over how scared you were and seriously, you actually thought that maybe you could pretend over how weak you are due to your sickness. Ha! That's it, that's definitely it. Play swords with him a little and then pretend you got hurt, fall to the ground, and faint! Perfect.
Determination blazes your orbs, as you stood before the young man who has now a pair of swords on his palms. With a bright grin on his face as he twirls the other onto his right hand, showcasing his talents to you. Huh, this kid. It's as if he's trying to show you how good he is in such an odd way. But that's normal isn't? A little kiddo proving his strength to his older siblings?
"Milady, here." the sword on his left palm caused you to sweat cold despite the scorching sun above the sky. You formed a smile awkwardly, wondering how you could even grab the sword.. Should you grab it with your two hands? But wouldn't that make it too obvious for the boy? You're dead either way, honestly.
Circling your fingers beneath the handle had you shutting your eyes tight, gripping it—afraid of what is about to happen.
"Sister?"
Your eyes shot open upon his voice calling out for you, concern adorning his sharp features. "Are you okay?"
"O-oh yes?" You forced a smile, "I am, no need-" Hold for a freaking second, what is this? Your widened orbs fell on the sword on your right hand, squinting at how oddly.. light it was. Like it wasn't heavy at all? Huh- oh my god?
Don't tell me that this is perhaps because of the lady's body? That she is probably capable of swordsmanship? Why have you never heard from the maids about the lady's skill in swordsmanship? Did they or did they knew about it? Either way, you had to find it out later. As your mind were currently amazed that you had never thought that you would gain her strength! How could you forget? It is your soul that currently hosts the lady's body.
You were beyond ecstatic to hold a light sword, amazed by your newly found ability, you tried to swing the sword in such a way that it feels like clouds. This is it. You could push through this and not risk your life before the lady's brother.
"Sister, that's not how you hold a sword."
Uh? Your eyes terribly widened, instantly holding yourself from playing with the sword any further. Alerted by his words, you were dumbfounded over what to answer.
A low, lighthearted giggle instead met your ears. "I didn't know that you, my sister, had the ability to joke?"
Shaking his head in amusement, "Everyday you intrigued me, sister." launching his sword up in the air, you prepared for his attack by dodging it slightly.
Your speed. That was new. Your vision fixated on every motion of Noa's tight grip on his sword as he prepares for another attack, somehow someway—his movement sort of felt like quite slow to you.
It's not that he's slow, it's that you could calculate his movement in a tremendous speed that you could dodge it easily. Amazement consumed your thoughts that this is truly the lady's ability. Pulling a slight smirk, you raised your sword and in an instant—it collided against Noa's, a total stare down occurs for a couple of seconds when you caught his eyebrows furrowing.
Huh?
He pulls away, stepping backward as he twirls his sword in his index finger.
"Why did you?"
Tilting his head sideways back and forth, he lets out a tiny scoff which had your stomach churning. "Nothing in particular, milady."
"Right- Agh!" you shut your eyes tight at his inhumane speed, beyond surprised at his impatience of not letting you finish your sentence. He's too strong, too much strong for you. Noa tightened his grip on his handle, pressing the blade's weight even harder on yours which causes your foot to lose it's footing, stumbling slightly but before you could prepare, you gasped at Noa raising his arm up in the air, launching the sword onto your face.
Is he trying to kill me?! Why is he getting faster each second?!
You pushed up your sword against his blade almost as fast as you, yet once again you were beneath the soil and he has the upper hand. You tried to counterattack against him but you yelp in pain when he suddenly pulls away once again, causing the blade to graze against your palms.
“Sister!?” Noa immediately get on his knees, his voice stuttering as he took your wounded hand in his. His lips blowing a breeze on your hand, causing you to frowned as you hissed at the slight pain. You observed him looking after you with the utmost care, as if you truly meant a lot to him, or the lady, apparently.
“Sister? May I ask you something?”
“Y-yes brother?” shit, that sounds too awkward for you to be honest. You could never get used to it.
"You're not her, aren't you?" A deathly silence occurs as he lifted his attention on you with his intense sharp upturned eyes that held infatuation awhile ago, but now a cold indifference inside.
You froze, “H-huh?”
Your maid's jaw dropped upon falling on your form, dropping the laundry basket she was holding as she strides off to you, “Milady! Are you okay?!”
Noa raises his palms at the approaching maid, "Stop right there."
H-how did he know? Your hand clutches the hem of your dress, your inner heart shaking vigorously as he took each step closer to you. Instinctively lowering your head down as his purplish and golden woven patterns on his collars came into view, the sunlight being covered by the growing grey dark clouds.
"The young lady ain’t this feeble and pathetic, weird isn’t?” his voice strikes your rampant heart cold and deep akin to the glint on his sword, wrapping his hand around your wrist, tightening it much to your growing pain. “She could never make such trivial mistake and yet, you did."
“Noa, what do you think you’re doing?!” You exclaimed, you tried to hold the lady's character and yet you can't help the way your heart was shivering to your core. How can you when this guy before you is just as much as his sister?! "Touching me without my permission like this is atrocious!"
They emitted a total intimidating aura, with those piercing orbs threatening to devour you alive. You had a slight wonder if he had the same infamous hobbies as his sister? Those eyes held downright blood lust inside it, you couldn't imagine how far he would go once he knew that you weren't the young lady. You couldn't even have the opportunity to study this man at all! You've failed!
"And you see, I've been observing you for quite awhile. The way you carry yourself, the way you turn and look at me—is nothing alike the young lady.”
How did he notice? How come?! You've studied the young lady's character very well, you imitated every single thing of her and yet he notice and are able to see through you. Wasn't there enough information? Have you made the wrong call?
A scoff of disbelief escapes his lips as his dragon eyes narrowed even further, “And you see, the young Lady has never called me by the name Noa when we're by ourselves together."
You tried to keep yourself still and firm as he keeps closing the distance dangerously between you both.
“She..” his voice turns into a feathery like brush against the edges of your lips, yet held a thousand prickly needles along the tip. “—calls me Riki.”
Your eyes widened horribly at his words. Well what in the actual fuck, congratulations, you're officially being sent into the coffin! How could you ever know of a nickname between siblings?!
His eyes sharp and intense, akin to dragons roaring thunders and fires mixing with thousands of swords bound to rip your flesh apart. He grabbed your wrist even tighter you could let out a yelp yet you held the need to do so as he pulled you closer, forcing you to look at his intense spiraling dark orbs.
“Who are you?”
What are you supposed to say now? This man is no fool. One word and he might, no—definitely he would rip your head apart for fooling him. After all, the lady's are deemed to be a wicked person, then how couldn't he as her younger brother turned out to be the same well?
Think, (Name)! Have your skill had truly gone to waste? Your palms supporting your torso had been trembling so much you swore you are about to faint.
“Huh? Am I seeing this right? Marquess Noa using such force against his older sister?” an unfamiliar face appeared in the distance, approaching you two. "That's quite un-gentleman of you, I fear."
You observed as Ni-ki’s eyes rolled in annoyance before he turned over his shoulder and it gave you a clear view to the person in question. “Perhaps, you shall keep your pathetic nose inside your quarters, shouldn’t you, General?”
Shrugging his shoulders, the man did. “I don’t know,” your rattled orbs fell upon a jet black slicked hair, faint smirk paired with those glowing grey orbs, a scabbard hanging down his hips as his overalls consists of intricate patterned jacket over his inner black shirt with few buttons off, exposing his well toned chest and neck adorned with gleaming jewels. “Maybe we shall ask you then, milady?”
Who the fuck is this other guy?! Why they keep appearing one after another?! Can't they give you a break?! You were beyond cornered as if your feet were on the scattering edge of the cliff with those two pair of orbs looking down at you—their intimidating and piercing aura threatening to consume you akin to an enormous eagle and a hissing black panther before you, who's only a mere tiny bouncing bunny.
Would this really be the end of your life?
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neapocream · 1 year
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Housamo AU: Overwritten Codes
This idea suddenly came to me and decided to share it. Been awhile since I last right an AU
~~~~~~~★.:.♚.:.★~~~~~~~
It happened again…
You have met your end once again…being killed by the hand of another…
And of course you won’t remember this even happen…
But something strange did happen…very strange…after your death…
A loop didn’t happen…but the world change when you were killed. Not just Tokyo, but the entire world itself including the people in it. Once a world inside a huge wall blocking the outside is now a world that felt like 24 different ones had fused.
The transients who came outside of the world of Tokyo have also changed. Some became cruel and vicious while some are calm and tame. Representatives are now known as Rulers in their respected lands and all live separately from each other. Those who lived in Tokyo stay there due to fear of the unknown that includes everyone in the world actually. Stay where you at and things won’t get worse for you.
But why did this happen?
How did this happen?
The only one with the answers is the culprit that suddenly killed you…but something was off.
The culprit’s identity is unknown, that not the weird part.
The culprit’s origin is unknown.
Which gate they were from…
The weapon they possess…
Their roles and rules…
All are unknown, yet…it seem like they have some connection to you. But they never appear in any loops before until now. So for the time being…
You’ll have to just wake up from your little dream and found out yourselves. Traveling with a sword that can never be unsheathed and the voices in your head for company
So get up little dreamer, it time to wake up with a body that felt familiar to you.
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dootiexcupcake · 2 years
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Final Round
First part
Second part
Pairing: Seungcheol x reader
Warnings: angst , toxic friendships , no happy ending
Tags: angst, Jeonghan comes back :D
Word count: 1.3k
A/N: this was a request for @enhacolor ! Also the final installment for this angst series :((. i dont wanna exhaust it and end up hating it so im capping it off here.
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Two weeks. It took two weeks for you and Seungcheol to get to where you guys are right now.
Last week when you called him he finally decided to pick up and the conversation was…strained to say the least. But you kept your hopes up and had Jeonghans reassuring words playing in your head to stop you from crying on the phone with Seungcheol as he gave you curt answers to your questions.
That didn’t stop you from sobbing as soon as you hung up though.
But today is a new day, right? After your phone call with him you guys agreed to meet up at your place to talk things over officially. So that’s a good start.
You’re pacing back and forth in your living room when you hear a knock at the door.
You open the door and give Cheol a warm smile and he returns it with a tight smile. You both wordlessly make your way over to the living room and sit next to each other on the couch, giving the other ample amount of space to not cause any discomfort that could lead to another dispute.
“So,” you start “how are things?” This all feels so strange. You guys have known each other long enough to not have these sort of awkward conversations anymore. 
Why am I making it so weird?
“Everything is fine.” He affirmed. It was the first word he’s spoken to you since he walked in. First time in weeks since you’ve heard his voice in person. 
God…you really missed him.
“But..we should definitely talk about what happened.” His posture straightens as he starts to get more serious, finally looking at you instead of the carpet.
“Yeah. Do you wanna start?”
“No, I wanna hear you first. I didn’t hear you out last time so….I’m gonna do that now.” His tone was uncharacteristically soft, like he was trying his hardest not to upset you. It confused you but you dismissed it as him just trying to be nice.
“Oh uh well..I-I’m just hurt by what you said, you know? I mean, I understand that you have been dealing with a lot at work too! I didn’t mean to stress you out even more.” Hearing the tone of your own voice come off so small makes you squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, mentally kicking yourself for being so unsure of everything single thing you say and do. You hate to say it but, it sounds so… childish. 
‘I definitely could have worded that to sound less…pitiful.’
“No you’re right.” Seungcheol replies, he rest a hand on your shoulder to dissipate the stress building up within you. A gesture you are familiar with from him, but today it feels so very different. So foreign.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted. It was uncalled for and rude. You’re my friend and I shouldn’t ever treat you like that.” He graciously apologizes. You’re taken aback by his words, it’s not like he’s never apologized before. But the way he worded it so unnatural, his flat tone of voice, the way he was looking in your direction but never directly at you. It felt strange.
The atmosphere in the room is indescribable. You desperately want to assume Seungcheol is just acting weird because of how things went last time. It was a tense argument. One that neither of you have had with each other before. Obviously the aftershocks of it would put anyone on edge for a while.
However the other part of you feels some dishonesty emanating off of him. Why Seungcheol would supposedly lie about his apology doesn’t make sense to you. But that doesn’t ease the nagging voice in the back of your head insisting that is the truth.
“I wanna apologize to you too. When I called you cold and..distant. it really wasn’t ok for me to just come after you like that.” You look at him, you’re genuinely apologetic and you hope he can see it on you face. Seungcheol looks away from you momentarily, you see his face tense but it happens so quickly you can’t pin point exactly what emotion he expressed. He looks back at you and shrugs his shoulders and lazily shakes his head.
“I forgive you. I would have said the same thing if I was in your place.” He says, another tight smile brandishing his face.
You know Seungcheol well enough to see right through that blatant lie. This man is bold and he will always tell it like it is. You were holding back when you said that to him.  He, respectfully, would not have. Instead, he would have straight up asked why you were avoiding him.
“Look, this whole situation was really messy. We’re both sorry and that’s all that matters, right?” He says matter of factly.
“I guess..”
“Right! So, let’s just put this all behind us and move on. I really missed you, you know.” Seungcheols shoulders relax and his face softens. It all looks so natural, unlike everything else he’s been doing this whole time. You furrow you eyebrows at him wondering why he was being so hasty with this conversation. “How about we meet up next week and get some lunch? Just try and get back into the swing of things so everything can get back to normal.” He suddenly proposes.
“Um yeah, I-i’ll let you know if I’m free.”
“Great!” Seunghceol practically leaps out of the couch and heads to the doorway. “See you around!”
And he’s gone. 
Everything is back to normal now…
“Tell me everything he said.” Jeonghan urged on the other side of the phone. Audibly just as perplexed as you are with this whole ordeal. So you tell him everything.
You tell him how fast the conversation went by, how weird Seungcheol was acting the whole time, how dismissive he was.
“God this dude…” Jeonghan mumbled angrily, “I’m so sorry that he messed all of this up for you. That is so not ok.”
Messed this up?
“What do you mean by that Hannie?” You ask after a brief pause.
“Well, I mean by him messing things up between you guys, you know?” He said quickly. You can’t see it but by the tone of his voice, you know for a fact that he’s toying with the hem of his shirt. He always did that when he gets anxious.
“Jeonghan…” you say slowly, voice dropping dangerously low as you try to pull whatever it is he’s hiding out of him.
The line goes silent for a while.
Until he finally speaks up.
“I talked to him.”
Why did that not surprise you?
“He didn’t like you being upset at him for so long so he called me and asked me for advice on what to say to make you…get over it. That’s what he said at least. I’m not saying that you need to ‘get over it’ though!” He stammered over his words, desperately trying to justify himself. After a while of you not responding he lets out a sigh, “He’s been busy, real busy! You know that. He’s not thinking straight is all. Deep down he really does mean his apology its just..not showing yet.”
You let his words wash over you like a thunderstorm. 
Too busy to properly apologize? Not thinking straight enough to care? So caught up in his work he had his buddy feed him lines to read off?
huh.
“I gotta go.” Is all you gave as a reply. Too numb to truly tell Jeonghan how much this hurt you. Too emotionally overdrawn to explain how stupid this all makes you feel. 
So stupid for forgetting the fact that Jeonghan has known Seungcheol longer than you. So stupid for thinking that you were special enough to ever be accepted in their friend group.
Jeonghan speaks up again for the last time, cutting you out of your thoughts.
“I’m sorry.”
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sanctummilitis · 1 year
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 ARTORIA/ARTURIA PENDRAGON (SABER) ♚ FRAGMEMORIA
haha wouldn't it be fucked if saber was being plagued by knowing too much for a year and then lost memories so important to her?
SHIROU EMIYA — the guy who summoned her in the entry that kickstarted the franchise, to call Shirou important to Saber would actually be an understatement. they've a deep understanding of one another much like a mirror, and while he isn't officially her Master, Saber has always regarded as no different than when they were contracted. oh, there's also him just getting ejected during the last activity check, so what timing this all is! the wider impact will be that Saber's recollection of the Fifth Holy Grail War will be somewhat grainy, and the clearest actually comes from her time captured by Caster, as the only period during which she and Shirou were properly separated. to keep things simply, her knowledge of the Fate and Heaven's Feel routes from Mistified 1.0 will be locked for the time being and limit her back to Unlimited Blade Works.
BEDIVERE — sometimes your bestie can wander the earth for 1,500 years to try and save a different version of you. and in the end, she doesn't remember him until she sees the sword he didn't return. Bedivere was essentially Arturia's caretaker as king, and the one who brought her into the forest where she ultimately passed away. his doubts of worth in a seat about the Round Table aren't that different to Saber's about her kinghood, there was a particular gentleness about him that she valued. he carried out her final order as king and wept as he watched her go, without him, she is alone when her life ends.
MORDRED — Saber's son, whose rebellion is deeply rooted in Arturia refusing to acknowledge her as an heir to Britain's throne. so imagine taking that to the next logical step! despite knowing her origins, Arturia granted Mordred a seat at the Round Table, even selecting her one of the knights managing things while Arturia was away from Camelot, a time during which the first spark of the fire which burned the kingdom ignited. with Avalon gone, Arturia and Mordred fatally wounded one another; Mordred dying on the battlefield of Camlann, and Arturia following shortly afterward.
LANCELOT — the knight with whom Arturia's wife, Guinevere had an affair, Lancelot was regarded as a dear friend — and having pushed down human emotion, Arturia held no grudge over the infidelity; in fact, she'd have wished they could genuinely be together, but politics. when Arturia had to sentence Guinevere to death, Lancelot returned to Britain and tore through the Round Table — crimes he sought to have Arturia demand atonement, but she never did. the result was Lancelot driven to madness, and the result shown in the Berserker of the Fourth Holy Grail War. in this case, Saber will recall Berserker perfectly as all encounters played out, but when his helmet split during their final battle and the truth was revealed to her, that fact... is lost. one of her Knights is within that armour, but who? she knows not the answer, but having pushed one to such extremes haunts her.
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pendraigon-moved · 3 years
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 @greatpowcr​​   ›   hey,   uh,   welcome   to   the   future,   mister   —   sir?   sir   pendragon,   or   whatever.   can   I   interest   you   in   the   greatest   beverage   in   the   modern   age?   it’s   called   McDonald’s   Sprite.   /   𝖚𝖓𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖉.
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                       ❛   ...   and   what   is   a   mcdonald’s   sprite?   ❜   he   asks   with   a   curious   tilt   of   his   head.   ❛   the   greatest   beverage   in   the   modern   age?   is   that   a   global   opinion,   or   just   yours?   ❜   hand   reached   out,   ready   to   accept   the   beverage.   ❛   because   i’ve   heard   of   your   greats,   and   some   of   them   aren’t   all   that   great.   ❜
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bae-del-moon · 2 years
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From the Heavens || Sangyeon (C1)
♚♕♚♕☈♚♕���♕☈♚♕♚♕☈♚♕♚♕☈♚♕♚♕☈♚♕♚♕☈♚♕♚♕☈♚♕♚♕
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Pairing: Sangyeon x F!Reader
Word Count: 5.6k
Rated: M (for Suggestive and Violent themes) 
Genre(s): Romance, Fantasy, Angst, Supernatural, Strangers to Enemies to Lovers, Star-Crossed Lovers, Royalty AU
Summary: The sun has set. The moon has risen. The night has end, and another day has begun. Happy birthday to you. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it does. It’s time for you and the only other Gifted in the world to partake in the crowning ritual. Only one with the gift of summoning may rule. So who’s it going to be? You? Or the Lee Heir who might have stolen your heart?
[SERIES MASTERLIST] | C1
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“Recite the history of the Gifted,” your tutor ordered you monotonously, not once looking up from the leather-bound book in her hands. 
You shifted in your seat, hands toying with the dry nib of the quill that laid on your desk before answering. “More than five hundred years ago, four families were given a gift from the heavens in the dead of night. When their eldest children woke, they found themselves with the gift of summoning.” 
“Summoning, what?” She grumbled, annoyance lacing her words. 
“The spirits of the dead from the netherworld,” you responded, dipping your quill into your glass inkwell. 
“Good,” she said, “Continue.” 
You sighed quietly and lifted your quill over the piece of parchment in front of you, letting the black ink on the nib drip onto the page. Then you started doodling. “Chaos ruled the world before the Gifted, and the King was of no help to his people. But, the four children used their gifts to bring peace and tranquility to our kingdom. Then they, along with the rest of the populace, decided that one of these four should be the crowned ruler. Not only because they brought peace and tranquility but because the people believed that it could only be kept if one of them became the ruling monarch. So, the strongest was decided to rule.” 
“Good. Good,” she murmured off-handedly, “What came then?” 
“The dividing. It was decided— though there’s no clear record of who— that our lands should be divided into four parts. One for each of the families to protect. Now, each family lives on a portion of land that borders the never-ending forest, miles away from town and secluded from the rest of the kingdom. The west went to the Angelos, to east the Mons. The Lee family took the north, and our family took the South; and, the King took the center of the kingdom.” 
“What else?” Your tutor huffed, “You’re forgetting crucial details yet again. What were they?” 
You bit your lip to keep yourself from snapping. You hadn’t forgotten anything. It was impossible after having your kingdom and your familial history drilled into you every day since you were able to read and write. You had simply chosen not to say anything about it. 
“They are peace, prosperity, and safety. It was prophesied that our kingdom will only prosper and live in peace for a hundred years, so long as a Gifted takes the throne. Even after they are gone, and the kingdom waits for new Gifted to born and present as such, the kingdom will live in peace, so long as the hundred years haven’t ended.” 
“What about the throne?” 
“No one else is allowed to sit on the throne besides a Gifted,” you finished, resting your chin in the palm of your hand and turning your head to the tall arched windows to your right that showed you your home’s backyard and the entrance to the southern never-ending forest. 
You turned to look at your tutor again. Her nose was still buried deep in the book in her hands, and she had yet to notice that you had finished responding. 
“May I leave now?” 
The words were like a trigger, she stopped reading the book in her hands, and her head snapped up to glare at you, eyes narrowing into slits. She snapped the book shut with a single hand before speaking. 
“Leave? Your lessons for the day have only just begun.” 
“Lesson from a book that I have learned and relearned a countless amount of times. I doubt there are any words in that book that I haven’t already heard read to me since I was a child. Or that I haven’t studied myself.”
“I am your tutor, and I will be the judge of that,” she hissed, taking a step toward you menacingly before righting herself and plunging into the book again. “Cockiness is not a virtue befitting the future monarch. You would do well to remember that.” 
Now it was your turn to narrow your eyes, “That wasn’t cockiness. That was fact.” 
“Is that so,” she said mockingly, “then, pray tell, what consists of the ritual you will have to undergo to claim the throne?” 
“You mean…” you smiled coyly, leaning over your desk toward her like you were about to share a secret, “You mean you don’t know?” 
“Of course not,” she scoffed, “Tell me. What is it?” 
You took a look around the room as if you were making sure there weren’t any extra pairs of ears listening, then waved her closer, “Well, you see….”
She nodded, invested in your words. 
“You aren’t blood.” 
Her jaw clenched, and she yanked the piece of parchment off your table and stepped into the light by the window. She took one glance at it and smirked, “Drawing while you’re supposed to be studying? I’m sure your parents would love to hear about this.” 
“Of course,” you agreed, “I’m sure my parents would love to know you are incapable of “teaching”… me properly.” 
It transpired in a nanosecond, you couldn’t be sure it had happened, but you thought it did. Your tutor growled. Then, proceeded to rip the parchment into little pieces. She glared at you. Was that a glint in her eyes, or was the sun playing a trick on you? 
She stepped toward you menacingly. 
“I wouldn’t do whatever you were just planning to if I were you,” your cousin’s voice spoke up from the entrance of your study. 
“Lady Hye,” your tutor greeted as she retracted her steps, “My apologies, but I fear I do not know what you are referring to.” 
Olivia studied your tutor silently from the door with her arms crossed. She hummed when she stepped forward a few moments later, “Is that so?” 
You noticed the sword hanging off her hips, sunlight hitting it just the right way for it to glint. You wondered if your tutor had noticed the sword at your cousin’s side too.
“I think it would be best if you took your leave now or I will need to have a talk with my dear aunt and uncle.” 
“B-But,” she stammered, “the day’s lessons have just begun.” 
“From what I’ve seen, the day’s lesson is something my dear cousin already knows by heart, and I very much doubt that forgoing today’s review will be damaging,” Olivia said, meeting your tutor’s eyes in an unwavering challenge until she relented. 
She stepped toward you menacingly. 
“I wouldn’t do whatever you were just planning to if I were you,” your cousin’s voice spoke up from the entrance of your study. 
“Lady Hye,” your tutor greeted as she retracted her steps, “My apologies, but I fear I do not know what you are referring to.” 
Olivia studied your tutor silently from the door with her arms crossed. She hummed when she stepped forward a few moments later, “Is that so?” 
You noticed the sword hanging off her hips, sunlight hitting it just the right way for it to glint. You wondered if your tutor had noticed the sword at your cousin’s side too.
“I think it would be best if you took your leave now or I will need to have a talk with my dear aunt and uncle.” 
“B-But,” she stammered, “the day’s lessons have just begun.” 
“From what I’ve seen, the day’s lesson is something my dear cousin already knows by heart, and I very much doubt that forgoing today’s review will be damaging,” Olivia said, meeting your tutor’s eyes in an unwavering challenge until she relented. 
“Very well,” she nodded. 
She had brushed past Olivia, and only a couple of steps remained between her and the door when Olivia spoke to her again. 
“I believe you have forgotten something.” 
“Pardon?” Your tutor asked quietly. 
“The book,” Olivia said, twisting around to look at her, “does not belong to you, and it certainly does not leave this household.” 
Your tutor gulped and wordlessly scurried back into the room to place it on one of the bookshelves that had been added to the room. 
You waited until the door closed behind her to release a breathless laugh, a wide smile growing on your face. 
It was inconceivable to you how much power a knight-in-training could hold, yet here you were, witnessing it in the form of your cousin. A moment later, you had pushed your chair back and ran to envelop your cousin in a hug. 
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much, Olivia!” You said. “Every day I spend with her feels like a never-ending reissuing of our history.” 
“She goes over our history that much?” 
“More than you can imagine,” you nodded. “It’s tedious and repetitive. But, now that you’ve made her go away for the day, I can spend the day outside for once!” 
“Y/N—” Olivia began, a sad weariness coming through in her voice. 
“Oh, please,” you pleaded, already taking steps backward toward the arched glass doors. “Knights-in-training are rarely allowed to leave the training grounds, and I never get a day off either.” 
Truthfully, every day you spent in lessons with your tutor felt like a special type of torture that you had yet to grow accustomed to. 
Your study was actually the house’s old greenery. Various plants and flowers used to be grown here, hence the large paned windows. Growing up, you had spent the majority of the time you didn’t spend studying, playing in the greenery, or near the edge of the forest. 
When you had turned ten, your parents had taken your love for nature into consideration for your studies and informed you that from then on, you would be having daily lessons in the greenery. You’d understood that you would be spending less time outside, but at least you’d still have the greenery to comfort you. 
Then, you saw it, your new study. To call it a greenery was to mock you. It wasn’t a greenery anymore, there were hardly any green, any plants, in there besides the potted ferns near the window and vines wrapped around the windows and running through the roof. 
They’d emptied it and put in bookshelves, a large desk for your tutor and a small one for you. 
“Please,” you repeated to Olivia, “Let’s go explore the outskirts of the forest. We haven’t done that in a while. I haven’t been able to do that in a while.”  
“Y/N,” Olivia cringed, “I’m really sorry. But, I was sent here on business. 
“What do you mean?” 
“I mean, the Council sent me here to be your personal guard today. They thought it would be best if a family member was your guard for the night.” 
“Why do I need a guard?” You asked. “I’ve never had to have someone guarding me before unless I was going into town.” 
Olivia studied you for a moment before answering you, “You... you don’t realize what day it is, do you?” 
“Friday,” you shrugged, “just a day before the weekend, as far as I’m aware.” 
She chewed on her lip, contemplating if she should be telling you the truth or not. Then, she realized that even if you didn’t like what she had to tell you, it would be better for you to know what you were walking into. 
“It’s your birthday, Y/N. You’re twenty-three today.”
“And?” You shook your head, still not understanding what your birthday had to do with needing a guard. “What of it?” 
“The Lee heir. He’s twenty-three too. Turning twenty-four this year. You’re both officially the same age, and they’ve decided that it’s time for the new monarch to be chosen.” 
“What?!” You yelped. “Today?!” 
Panic began to settle in the pit of your stomach. It was too much for you to take in at one go. 
It wasn’t a secret, especially to you, that one day you’d have to partake in the crowning ritual, and that day was always getting closer. You knew your parents expected you to win the crown— being that they believed your own gifts were stronger than they ever had been for any of your ancestors (but really, how could they be sure of this) and the fact that you were one of the only two heirs to the throne in existence. 
The possibility— or certainty, if your parents were the ones being asked— of you sitting on the throne had been ingrained into you since you were a baby, the same day you’d been born, and they noticed the olive branch-shaped birthmark on your left shoulder blade. 
It was inevitable that this day would come. But, you had always imagined you’d get some sign, some warning that the day was around the corner. 
Maybe someone would finally tell you what the ritual was, what it consisted of, and what you would have to go through to discover if you were or were not meant to rule. 
“No,” Olivia shot down quickly, trying to calm you. “No, the ritual isn’t today. But, a ball is being held in your honor as a way to officially present you. All of the noble families will be there, except for—“ she made a motion with her hands that let you know you were supposed to know this, “the Lee family. They’ll be having a ball of their own later, which we will not be attending.” 
You swallowed a breath. It sounded tedious and ridiculous to hold two balls when there could just be one. But, tensions ran high between the Lee family and yours, being that the only two you were the only two Gifted families still in existence because of a freak accident. 
“Why now?” You forced yourself to ask. 
“Because the two of you are exactly two years from marrying age.” 
“So?” 
“So they’ve decided that it’s finally time for the two of you to compete for the crown. Besides,” Olivia hesitated, “the Lee family has been pressuring for the commencement of the ritual since their heir is a year older than you. They’re hoping it’ll be to his advantage, he’ll be able to win the throne, and then they can marry him off.” 
You sighed, “I’m guessing they’ve already found the person he is to marry, then. Hence the pressure for the ritual. When’s the ball?” 
“Tonight.” 
You stared at her unblinkingly, the way she had been staring at your tutor. Then, silently, you nodded, accepting that this was your fate. 
“Your mother already set the clothes she would like you to wear. They’re new. From the tailors in town. Everything’s already in your room.” 
“Okay,” you said. You nodded, though you weren’t sure if it was to her or yourself, and a second later, you were making your way toward the door. 
Olivia followed behind you, her head held high, but her eyes clouded in thought. She felt as if she could feel waves of resignation coming off you. She was trying to think of what she could say to console you and grew frustrated as the words refused to form. Then, she realized that maybe there were no words that could console you. 
“You didn’t remember it was your birthday today, did you?” 
“No.” 
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“Our kingdom has indeed seen better days; two of our Gifted families are gone, and we haven’t had a Gifted on the throne in more than two hundred years. But, the wait is over! Princess Y/N is of age, and the time for the ritual is among us. May she bring peace to our kingdom. Long live the Y/L/N family to care for our kingdom!” A nobleman in attendance made a speech from the elevated platform at the front of the ballroom. 
“Long live the Y/L/N family!” The rest of the noble people echoed, clapping after they were done. 
You smiled at everyone who turned to look at you, uttering silent thank yous. Their attention wasn’t only on you, though. They turned, and clapped for your parents too, who grinned from ear to ear and basked in the attention. 
The people here were noblemen, noblewomen, and nobles that you were sure would appear at the Lee ball and cheer for their heir just like they were cheering for you. 
Did they think neither of you would realize they were cheering for one before turning around and doing the same to the other? Or that you knew that they were kissing up to your parents in hopes that they would be given some special “reward” once you were crowned? 
As if you weren’t the one that was going to be wearing the crown? 
Being the reigning monarch was inevitable, as your parents liked to say. You knew it was possible, and you’d been raised to believe that you were the future monarch, no other possibility as possible. 
“The Lee family is no match for our family blood.” 
They surrounded your parents as the music began again, and you tried your hardest to stay still and blend in. But it only took a second to break your moment of peace.
“Kim Younghoon is heading this way,” you whispered to Olivia, pulling on the sleeve of her dress to get her to follow you as you avoided looking in his direction. 
“You should give him a chance—“ 
“Olivia, please.” 
“Alright. Alright. Lead the way.” 
You weaved through the guests, leading Olivia through portions of the ballroom that had groups of people huddled together eating and talking, hoping that the looping you were going through to get to the main door was enough to lose Younghoon in the crowds.
When you finally made it outside the ballroom, the heavy doors closing silently behind your cousin, you released a sigh of relief. 
“You should really give him a chance, you know.” 
“Olivia,” you whined. 
“You know my aunt and uncle are hoping…” 
“I don’t like him. Not like that.” 
“Y/N,” Olivia insisted. 
“Olivia,” you sighed, pinching your nose in annoyance, “May I please have some peace?” 
There was a moment of tense silence before you spoke again, “I’m going to explore the castle.”
“You can’t do that.” 
“I can’t?” You snapped. “I thought this was my castle. After all, that’s what my dear parents say.” 
Olivia’s jaw snapped shut, and her eyes narrowed. It took her a second to answer you, and when she did, she did it through clenched teeth. “Everyone will notice if you’re not present at your own ball.” 
You grabbed the skirt of your dress in frustration, glaring at her the same way she was glaring at you. Although it made you angry to admit it, and you wouldn’t at least, not out loud, she was right. Everyone in attendance would notice you weren’t around at some point. The dress your mother had sent to be made for you was a bright red and covered in gold embellishments. 
If the guests didn’t notice you weren’t there, your parents surely would. 
“Exchange clothes with me.” 
“What?”
“Switch clothes with me.”
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You tiptoed quietly through the castle’s hallways, the heels of your heels becoming your enemy every time they came a centimeter close to the floor rather than the lantern that you carried to light your way. You almost wanted to huff every time you saw a guard walking through the castle, a lantern of their own in their hands. If Olivia had traded shoes with you, you’d have one less thing to worry about. The flats she’d been wearing made it easier to be silent. Your heels did not.
You were sure that had been out of pettiness. 
Still, you were grateful that she had at least traded clothes with you. Now, instead of the red gown your mother had bought, you wore a dull lilac-colored dress. 
Your hands trailed along the golden-colored decorations that had been molded against the marble walls. They weren’t faded like the designs that had been painted onto the walls of your own home, and there wasn’t any dust either. But, the pungent smell in the air told you everything you needed to know. 
They’d been painted recently. 
“To make a home,” you whispered to yourself, remembering the history of the castle that you had been taught, “for the one who communes with the dead to feel a little warmth.” 
Of the few ghosts you had interacted with while you were training, only one had ever truly made you feel a bitter coldness that reached your bones.
You failed to see how a bit of gold paint could help you feel warmer. 
You brought your lantern closer to the wall to study the curves and swirling decorations that protruded from the walls. They’d been painted carefully, but you could still see bits of old, worn paint where the molding met the wall. 
Perhaps that’s why most of the lanterns on the walls hadn’t been lit. They didn’t want anyone to see the castle had been under recent renovation. Or, they’d hoped that they could stop guests (maybe even you) from wandering around the castle if the halls were plunged into darkness. 
It was a pity that there weren’t any windows in the hallways that were deep inside the castle, though all they would do would be show you the interiors of the rooms there. Moonlight would have been nice to see the more intricate details. 
Still, that hadn’t stopped you from delving deeper into the castle. 
You’d thought you were utterly alone when you turned another corner, this time your heels accidentally clicking against the marble floor, causing you to freeze on the spot. You heard the scuffling of heavy boots against the floor behind you, and you knew you had to go. 
As quickly as you could, you slipped off your heels, held them in one hand, and ran across the long hallway. Your feet padded against the cold floors as you headed toward a pair of large, ornate doors that came together to form an arch. It was the last door before the hallway split into different directions. 
You opened the doors as quickly as you could, thanking the fates when you found it unlocked, and slipped inside. 
You were awestruck. The room was larger than you would have thought. It was dimly lit and had large arched windows that let the moonlight inside. There was a couch to your right, positioned in front of an unlit fireplace, with an unlit candelabra hanging above it, and to your left were rows upon rows of bookcases, forming dark aisles to get lost in. 
“Wow,” you whispered when your voice came back. There had to be more than just history books in there. 
You tossed your heels onto the couch mindlessly before making your way into the passages, using the lantern in your hand to light your way. The lanterns that hung off the cases hadn’t been lit, and you had to use your own to see where you were going. 
You studied the books you passed as best you could— leather bindings, golden, cursive lettering, but none of them caught your interest. In the distance, you caught sight of a single flickering lantern, and though that should have raised alarm bells, you walked toward it. 
Like a moth to a flame, you found yourself in front of it, casting a shadow on the books that its light touched. 
You looked around quietly, searching for whoever might have lit the candle. You found nothing, and it sent a shiver down your spine. Something felt… off. 
It felt like the first time you had accidentally summoned a ghost. No, you realized, that had been jarring. Right now, everything felt more… menacing, evil, like there was something wrong, and it was headed your way. 
You shook your head. You were being paranoid. 
You comforted yourself with the light the two lanterns cast,  and rather than running back to Olivia, you reached for one of the books in front of you. Its lettering shined more than the others like it had been taken care of more than the others. It intrigued you. 
You had just pulled the book from its spot when you found yourself staring at the ashen face of a smiling man that looked no older than you did. 
A startled yelp raced its way past your lips as you retracted your hand as fast as you could, knocking down some of the books that had been positioned next to the one you had picked. 
It took you a second to compose yourself, then you huffed at the man. You hadn’t summoned him. 
“Forgive the intrusion, but, I don’t believe you’re supposed to be here,” he grinned cheekily.
You said nothing, but you studied him carefully. One of his arms laid across the shelf nonchalantly while the elbow of his other pressed against it. His chin rested in the palm of that hand. Even more, his smile was so mischievous that you weren’t even sure you had ever seen one like it before. The corners of his eyes were even crinkled in mirth. 
What was he? The ghost of a previous royal librarian? 
You brought your lantern closer to him, hoping the light would help you see any defining details on him that would tell you who he was, and then you saw color. He was alive. 
Horrified at the sudden discovery, you bowed your head, “My apologies. I shall take my leave.” 
“No, wait. Hold on,” he said, rushing after you as you made your way back down the aisle in the direction of the couch. “I wasn’t kicking you out. I’m Sangyeon, and you are?” 
His question struck you, and as you sat down, you pondered if he really didn’t know who you are. 
You looked down at the book in your hands— Dragons. 
“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me your name?” 
Silence was enough of an answer. He got up while you flipped through the book. You’d just gotten captivated by the content of the book when he came back a minute later and placed some logs in the fireplace. 
It was only a moment before it was roaring to life, and you were flicking your gaze away so he wouldn’t know you had been watching.
“Can’t exactly read without light, right?” He said as he sat down next to you again. 
You stayed silent for a moment, questioning if it was a good idea to answer him. 
“No, I suppose not. Thank you.” 
 Silence encompassed the two of you as you returned your attention to the book in your hands, letting the crackling fire chase away the cold you hadn’t even realized you were feeling. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see him opening a book of his own. He flipped through a couple of pages before setting it down and turning to look at you again. 
He fidgeted. 
“I love that book you’re holding. It’s an interesting read, right? The draconian living conditions of this kingdom before the arrival of the Gifted,” he motioned to your book, smiling as he talked before suddenly rubbing his hands on his thighs nervously. 
You could only assume that he was doing this unconsciously. 
“This is about dragons.” You lifted the book to show him the engraving on the cover. 
“So it is,” he said flustered, laughing embarrassedly. “Anything, uh, anything good in there?” 
You bit back the smile that wanted to leave you. His flirting was surprisingly endearing. 
“Do you flirt like this with everyone you meet?” 
“Horribly?” He chuckled shyly.
“Just a bit,” you smiled at him, hoping he’d understand that you weren’t saying it maliciously but teasingly. He didn’t miss a beat. 
“I don’t suppose that means I’ve ruined any chance to speak to you?” 
You smiled. You didn’t understand why but he was starting to grow on you. Maybe it was the warmth of the fire putting you at ease, but you gaunt yourself giving him a chance. 
“You’re sort of doing that right now.” 
He grinned, “That’s right. I’m Sangyeon.” 
“I’m—“ you extended a hand for him to shake, “not telling you my name. You’re a stranger and could easily turn around and give my name to the guards behind us.” 
“What?” He asked, alarmed, twisting around to look behind himself. 
“I’m just kidding,” you laughed. 
“That was not fair,” he huffed, a ghost of a pout forming on his lips. 
“Not fair?” You said incredulously. “It’s completely fair after the scare you gave me! Besides,” you smiled teasingly, “now I know that you aren’t supposed to be here either.” 
He smiled again shyly, bowing his head bashfully. 
“That’s… fair,” he nodded. “May I at least have your hand?” He asked. 
“Of course.” 
You extended a hand for him to shake. He took it gently and placed the softest of kisses you had ever felt on the back of your hand. 
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, my Princess.” 
“Princess?” You tensed. 
“What else am I supposed to call someone as beautiful as you? 
“Without the knowledge of my name, I guess nothing else.” 
“Then we’re agreed.” He chuckled, having yet to let go of your hand. 
You shook your head, amused at the turn he’d taken. You could almost swear that you could see his confidence growing as he locked eyes with you and smiled widely. It had to be confidence,  as he was puffing his chest out ever so slightly. 
You let him have the moment before teasing him again when he began to play with your fingers. 
“Don’t you think you’ve held my hand long enough? I hardly know anything about you. A bit improper.” 
Sangyeon let your hand drop quickly, turning into a blushing mess in the blink of an eye.
“I’m- I’m sorry.”
“I’m teasing,” you grinned, “But, I really don’t know anything about you.” 
“Ask till your heart’s content,” he said, shifting his position on the couch so he could face you. 
You chuckled at this and copied him, taking it a step forward and scooting forward so that your knees touched. 
You hummed, “What do you do?” 
“What do I do?” He laughed. 
“Well, you’re clearly not the royal librarian.”
He nodded, “I’m an apprentice, of sorts, for a scholar.” 
“Really?” You asked. 
He nodded. 
“Well, what subject are you the most interested in?” 
“Well,” he began, tilting this head from side to side. “I’ve taken a liking to botany and astronomy, though,” he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully, “I’ve also taken a liking to cooking. I know that’s not something scholars typically.…” 
“Cooking is probably the hardest subject I can think of,” you grinned. “I know nothing about cooking. Botany, on the other hand…” you trailed off, leaning closer to him as if you were about to whisper a question to him, “now that I know a little something about.” 
“Oh, do you now?” 
“Mmm,” you nodded, “I grew up surrounded by nature, actually. Even hung around this beautiful greenhouse for most of my childhood.” 
“A greenhouse,” Sangyeon nodded, then leaned in just like you had, “So, what do you know?” 
“A lot,” you whispered to him. “But, I’m not telling you any of my secrets.” 
“No?” He whispered just the same. 
“No,” you giggled. 
It was one of those things that you didn’t notice until you were moments away from it happening. The two of you had leaned in closer to the other as if you were whispering secrets to one another that no other should hear. But, like magnets, you’d gravitated closer and closer together until you were giggling with your faces only centimeters apart. 
It wasn’t until your nose brushed against his, and you froze, that you realized how close to him you were. A moment later, he froze, and you knew he realized it too. 
Then time seemed to stop. 
The smiles fell off your faces, and your eyes flicked over to his parted lips. 
Why? Why did it feel like you were being pulled forward? 
You lifted your gaze to meet his bashfully, but instead, you found him staring at your lips just the same. Your breath caught in your throat. 
Closer and closer and closer. Your eyes fluttered shut.
Your lips ghosted over his, and you swore you could almost feel his lips coming into contact with yours. 
“Y/— Get away from her!” You heard Olivia yell before you were pulled backward. 
Your eyes flew open as your back hit the body of the couch. Stunned, you could only gasp as you watched Olivia punch Sangyeon in the nose. 
“What are you doing?!” You yelled, throwing yourself forward to grab Olivia by the arm and pull her away. 
“What are you doing, Y/N?!” She yelled. She stared at you disbelievingly, waiting for you to answer, and when you didn’t, she huffed. You grabbed your heels clumsily, having no time to put them on as she pulled you to the door.
Confused, you pulled your arm out of her grasp, “Look, I know he’s a stranger—”
“A stranger?!” Olivia snapped, “He’s a Lee! He’s the Lee heir.” 
“What?” You asked quietly. 
You stared at her for a second before whipping around to look at Sangyeon. You wanted him to deny it, to say Olivia was wrong. He wasn’t a Lee. He couldn’t be a Lee. He wasn’t. Right? 
But, all he did was stand up and wipe the blood off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. He shot Olivia a glare, then met your eyes. 
“You’re… a Lee?”
He nodded at your question, then returned his gaze to Olivia.
“Look, I know I know snuck into the castle, but that’s no reason to punch me. I didn’t come here to screw up your family’s ball, alright.” 
“You’re the Lee heir?” You asked again. 
He nodded again. He took a step forward, and you took a step back. “I—” he’d begun to speak before getting cut off by Olivia. 
“You didn’t come here to screw up the ball, but you did come here to make out with the Y/L/N heir?” She scoffed.
“Y/L/N?” He asked like you had, meeting your eyes.
But, rather than giving him an answer, you stayed silent and took another step backward. 
“I can’t believe it,” you mumbled quietly. “Come on, Olivia—” you pulled on her arm this time, urging her to follow you out, “we have to go before they notice we’re both gone.” 
“Wait,” you heard Sangyeon say as you turned your back to him, footsteps following yours. 
Then, as you crossed the door and Olivia followed you, you heard her spat out, “Stay the hell away from her, Lee.” 
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SERIES MASTERLIST || C2 
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i-am-baechu · 3 years
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Title: Promise | ♞ | | ♚ | | ♛ |
Paring: Kim Namjoon x reader
Genre: College au, slice of life au, coming to age, angst, romance, smut and fluff
Summary: College is where you find yourself and what you love in this world. Namjoon has heard this since he was a freshman in high school. He’s already had his life planned but it’s not until a girl knocks him off of his path; literally. 
Warnings: Drinking, an indication of physical violence and a sex scene ( First time writing smut lol)
Author’s note: Happy late birthday to our leader Namjoon!! This story was inspired by Evening Primrose by Novelbright and I Will Go To You Like The First Snow by Ailee. I would recommend listening to these songs to set the mood! 
Dear Namjoon, 
It’s been so long since I saw you and I don’t know how I’m going through it without you. Everything around seems so boring and that’s coming from me. I know you’ve been busy lately and I should send a text instead of a letter but I think letters are more heartfelt. There’s so many things I want to tell you, this new road I found for biking, this special cafe that serves the best muffins and this cool hotel that has cool art pieces in the lobby. It feels like I haven’t stopped traveling for a second but it's fun to see different things but I wish you were with me. Having you holding my hand as we look at the stars or even at the paintings at the art museum here. Anything to have you with me. 
Until Next Time, 
Y/N
Three years ago 
“Another one hundred on your test, Mr. Kim. Good job.” 
Namjoon smiled at the teacher as he took his legal communication test and gave him a bow. He walked out of the classroom to see people talking to each other and he let out a deep sigh. All his friends were either in the music department or the film department. It was lonesome being in the law department but at least he could catch up with his friends on the weekends or even during lunch. He put the test in his folder and headed out to the diner hall to see his group of friends. 
He decided to leave his bike at home and walk instead, especially since he had a lot on his mind right now. Ever since last week when his parents dropped by for a visit, a normal person would be excited for their parents after being apart for so long but he wanted them to leave the moment they stepped in. He didn’t have a bad relationship and that was the main source of his guilt towards them. His mom always brought food and small things that he needed in his dorm while his dad brought him art books that he liked. Everything was perfect but him. 
Everytime he sees his parents the same thoughts go through his mind about his major or what he's doing with his life. He wanted to make his parents proud and decided to become a lawyer like his father was. He was never pressured by them but the implication was there at times. He wanted to do music with his friends but thought his parents wouldn’t like the idea and decided to go forward with law. 
He opened the door and walked into the loudness that should be annoying but it was somehow comforting to him. He went towards a small kiosk that was selling sandwiches and decided to go with the turkey. He looked around the cafeteria and spotted his friends and walked towards them with a smile. 
“Jonnie!”
He waved his sandwich at them and sat next to Yoongi and Hoseok, “Hey, how was class today?”
“It was annoying, this girl kept raising her hand when class was over asking questions that could be easily answered by reading the book.”
“Yoongi, maybe she didn’t have the textbook.”
He rolled his eyes at Jimin and took a bite of his salad and shrugged his shoulders, “Not my problem.” 
Jungkook turned towards Namjoon with his bunny eyes that melted him, “How was your class, Joon?”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin and looked to see all eyes were on him now, “I got back my test from last week.”
“Oh, how did you do?”
“Taehyung, you should already know what his score is.” 
“It doesn’t hurt to ask, Park Jimin.” 
Namjoon scratched the back of his neck and gave them a nervous look, “I got a one hundred...” 
“That's good Joon but you don’t sound happy about it.”
He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his sandwich with an unsure look, “I mean it's another test, nothing serious.” 
Seokjin raised his eyebrow at him and went to ask him another question but he beat him to it, “How did your picture come out, Jungkook?” 
The conversations through the night were carried by Jungkook and Jimin as the rest just listened to them. They were talking about a project they had and how they have to figure out they’re muse for this assignment but Namjoon wasn’t really listening. It was another test and he got a perfect score on it but he wasn’t happy nor upset about it, he was just melancholy. For three years straight he was on top of his class but it didn’t mean anything to him. His parents and sister were proud of him for everything he achieved but he didn’t feel the same. Even his friends tell him how good he was doing in his classes but nothing stayed in his head. The only person that brought it up was Seokjin but he would always change the subject. 
Towards the end of the night, they all separated to head back to their dorms. Seokjin went with Namjoon because his dorm was near his and he wanted to talk to him about stuff. Seokjin looked at Namjoon with a concerned face but Namjoon ignored it, “I saw your look.” 
“What look?” 
“When we were talking about your test score, you changed the subject. Normally when a person gets a perfect score they show some type of happiness but you didn’t, why?” 
 He shrugged his shoulders and put his hands in his pocket as he continued to look forward, “It's just a test and there's always going to be another one.” 
Jin raised his eyebrows at this and shook his head at this, “This isn’t the first time you reacted like that so, clearly something else is wrong.” 
“I know your major is psychology and film but you're being annoying right now.” 
Jin rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his shoulders causing Namjoon to grunt at the sudden impact, “I’m just worried about you that’s all.” 
He let out a sigh and looked back at Jin, “I know. It’s just for me, they're questions that I know the answer to and that's it. Nothing more or nothing less.” 
“Are you getting bored of it?”
“I wouldn’t say bored but...I don’t know how to explain it.” 
“Hopefully something hits you so you can figure it out.” 
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“Y/NNNN!!! WERE GOING TO BE LATE AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!”
“I’M PUTTING ON MY JACKET GET OFF MY BACK LYDIA!” 
In the dorms of Y/N L/N and Lydia Miller, it was project day for the both of them. The history department was having a project about the royal family throughout Europe by having a powerpoint presentation and an essay to go with it. They had three months for this project and Y/N was already almost done with her powerpoint. She picked out England’s royals family while Lydia picked out Norway. Y/N was doing a European history degree and Lydia was doing an Art History degree. The two met in their first year of college when Y/N accidentally dropped Lydia's notebook in a World History class and ever since then they’ve been friends. 
Y/N walked down the stairs and zipped up her jacket as she raised her eyebrow at Lydia, “Why did you call for me? Are we going somewhere?” 
“Yes, because I tried cooking dinner and I failed.”
“How badly?” 
“It was mac and cheese and for some reason it was brown on top but it was too liquidy? It was burnt but it wasn’t burnt.” 
“How-I don’t want to know. Alright, let's go for dinner.” 
They walked through the campus and waved towards their classmates whenever they saw them. It was cold on this sunday afternoon and the two were tired from their homework and as well as Y/N babysitting her little brother on weekends for her parents. They walked into the cafeteria to see that it was almost empty, which surprised them especially since it's the weekend. They walked up to an Italian kiosk and picked out chicken parmigiana to have. They went to sit at a table to wait for their food as Y/N eyes drifted behind Lydia making her turn around. 
“Is loverboy over there?” 
“Shut up...and yes he’s over there with his friends.” 
“How can someone have so many friends? That’s crazy to think.” 
“Sounds like jealousy to me.” 
“No, it is. I just have you and Seulgi.”
She shook her head and saw him walk out with his friends and frowned. They were in two different departments and he probably didn’t remember her from high school but seeing him still gave her butterflies. Lydia took a sip of her sprite and stared at her friend's face, “You can always try to talk to him you know.” 
“It’s been two years since high school. I doubt he remembers me. We only had two classes in senior year and he was always in the front while I was in the back.” 
“You never know, maybe he remembers you.” 
She shook her head at this and took a sip of her water, “He probably remembers the other girls because they were all over him. Always asking him for help on homework or asking to hang out during lunch.” 
“I mean I get that, he is very handsome. Good choice, Y/N.” 
She rolled her eyes and they both stood when they heard their names being yelled through the almost empty lunch room. When they had the plate of food in their hands, Lydia leaned down to whisper in her ear. 
“What was his name again?” 
“Kim Namjoon.” 
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The next day, Y/N woke up for her early for her Modern Europe class as Lydia had her day off. It was too early for anyone to function or even raise their hand for participation points. It was once again cold today and she didn’t know if she should change from her sweats or actually put on clothes this time for a change, she picked the second choice. She put on jeans for the first time in months and a pastel pink v-necked sweater. The look couldn't be complete without her hair in a messy bun and her glasses that were going down the bridge of her nose slowly. 
She held onto her laptop and textbook as she made her way through the campus to get herself a quick coffee for the day. She headed to the class and saw that the professor was already in class. She looked inside to see if anyone was there and saw a few students sitting there with their laptops. She walked in and took the seat at the back of the class and turned on her laptop. She went on her youtube to watch random cooking videos and started to do an outline for her essay as she waited for the professor to get started. On the other side of the campus, Namjoon was running late for his class. 
After last night, Namjoon entered his dorm and decided to have a couple of shots of soju but the couple of shots turned into five bottles. His outfit was his loose white shirt that showed off his collarbones and his light gray loose sweatpants. He didn’t have time to put on regular shoes so, he settled on his sandals and a hat to hide his messy hair from the lack of sleep (and hopefully hid his eyes). He walked through the empty campus with his coffee and the annoyance from last night. He hated how easy Jin could read him, it was annoying but at the same time it was nice to have someone see him in distress (even his parents had a hard time with that). 
He walked into his classroom and saw that most of the seats were already filled including the seat he always sat in. He went towards the back avoiding looks from everyone who gave him a shocked look because of how he was dressed. He usually was dressed nicer with a pair of loose jeans or even skinny jeans but he was rarely in sweats in public or in his class to be more accurate. He sat there with his bucket hat shielding his face and he knew this day wasn’t going to be good for him.
“Mrs. L/N, can you come up for a second?”
She turned her head at her professor with her eyebrow raised but went towards his desk clenching her things harder in her hands, “Yes, professor?”
“Can you drop this off in the law department front office for me? Also, I think you should check out a class that talks about England's laws towards the monarchy, it's in room B256 on Mondays. It goes in depth for your powerpoint and essay, only if you want to. I would give you extra credit if I see it in the essay.”
“Thank you professor. I’ll look into it.” 
She took the folder and bowed to him as he gave her a gentle smile. He turned towards his computer screen and that was the sign for her to leave. She put the folder under her laptop to make sure none of the papers would fly from the wind. She was unfamiliar with the department, the only thing she knew was that they made really good sandwiches in the cafe in the building. She opened the front door and walked into pure silence, Not really welcoming. 
The department looked so sophisticated compared to her at this moment. There were paintings around the front and the ceiling was high with a window on top to show the light blue sky. She looked around the room to see people around with coffees in their hands and expensive bags. She knocked on the front office door and waited for an answer. 
She opened the door and saw the front lady who gave her a small smile, “How can I help you?” 
“I have a folder from Professor Lee. He's in the history department.”
“Ah, thank you so much sweetie.” 
She took the folder and Y/N gave her a small smile with a bow. She walked out the building and looked back with curiosity but shook it off and made her way towards the cafeteria to meet Lydia for lunch. 
Namjoon was finally done with his class and sat at the cafe to see Yoongi and Jin eating sandwiches waiting for him. He let a small smile appear and walked up to the table with an exhausted look.
“You look terrible.”
“Thanks hyung, that's what I wanted to hear.” 
“I don’t lie.” 
Namjoon let out a sigh and leaned down in his chair, “I don’t even remember what happened in that class.”
“That’s very unlike you.” 
“I drank last night.”
Jin raised his eyebrow and took a sip of his water, “Why did you drink?”
“I just felt like it. It didn’t give an epiphany if you were wondering, hyung.” 
“I hope something will.”
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The weekend finally came and Y/N was off to visit her parents. Every weekend, she would go up to see her parents to watch her younger brother while her parents visited her grandmother who had been sick for years but had only recently gotten worse. She put her helmet on and got on her bike for the two hour ride. She tightened the straps from her backpack and was off. 
The main reason why she picked that college was because it was close to her family home but deep down it wasn’t the one she wanted. The college that was her dream college was in England where her major would’ve made more sense to her. She wanted to go there but she heard her grandmother went against it. Every year though, she gets emails from the college telling her about the new school year or the new classes she can take. She never told her parents this because she knew they would have her go but she couldn’t leave them especially now.
She looked at the familiar stores and houses with a small smile but it never reached her eyes. She continued her way until she saw the familiar white house that was her childhood home. She took off her helmet and put her bike in the garage. She opened the door and felt arms around her waist causing her to let out a groan from the impact. She wrapped her arms around him, “Well hello to you, bud.” 
“I miss you.”
“You saw me last week, Johnny.” 
“I just miss you.” 
She ruffled his hair and looked up to see her parents coming towards her with overnight bags. They gave her a happy smile but she knew deep down it’s not truly happy, “Y/N, I’m sorry that you have to come over every weekend.” 
“Mom, it's alright. I’ll always be here for you guys no matter what.” 
“We should be the ones saying that, princess.” 
She shook her head and grabbed her fathers hand as she rubbed the tops of his hand gently with her thumb, “Were family, that's how it is.” 
Namjoon sat in his family living room after being gone for two years he decided it was time to visit his family. Another reason was, he wanted to tell his parents about his feelings. He looked down at the opened book with a blank face as the words on the paper didn’t reach his head. He closed the book and got up from the couch in a rush as he walked back and forth in the living room. He doesn’t even know how the conversation will start nor does he know how it will end and that part scares him the most. The unknown part of life made him feel trapped in the life he chose for himself. 
He grabbed his jacket from the couch and headed towards the front door, “Omma! Appa! I’m going to take a walk around the park!”
“Be safe Joon!!” 
He walked outside and put his hands in his coat pocket as he made his way to the park that was familiar to him. He remembers the time he came here with the guys and they teased him for liking this girl in his class. He smiled at the memory and wished things were that easy today.
“Why don’t you just talk to her?”
He rolled his eyes at Hoseok and pushed his arm off of his shoulders as they walked towards the park, “She doesn’t talk to anyone in that class. I doubt she wants to talk to me.” 
“You don’t know that, you haven’t even tried.” 
They sat in the swings as Namjoon looked down at his shoes, “She sits in the back for a reason. I shouldn’t barge into her life like that.” 
“Girls love that. A person barging into their lives making them feel happy.” 
“I doubt she wants that...”
He stared at the swings with a sad smile and sat on them. He slowly went back and forth as his thoughts were doing the same thing. He loved his parents with all his heart but at this moment he doesn’t know if love can save him. He looked up and saw a group of young kids playing on the playground and he let a smile escape when heard the laughter from them. 
He started to feel the cold breeze from the moon and he realized how long he was out. He left his phone back at his parents because he was in a rush to get out of the house and he knew he's going to hear an earful from them. He got up and zipped up his light grey jacket and headed out of the park. He walked as slow as possible, not wanting to get home any time soon. He ignored the sound around him and continued to walk until he was pushed to the ground.
He let out a loud grunt as his eyes were closed from the sudden pain. He slowly opened his eyes and they slowly widened when he saw who it was, “Y/N?” 
“Namjoon, Oh my god- I am so sorry. I was running to pick up some pasta for dinner. I am so sorry, are you okay? Why would you be okay, I literally knocked you-”
He let out a small chuckle as he slowly got up to put his hands on shoulders, “Y/N, It’s alright.”
“You know my name?” 
“Why would I ever forget your name?” 
“Oh, that was rude to assume you forgot my name. I’m not saying your meaning and you wanted to forget it. It's just been two years since high school, so I just assumed you forgot my name.” 
“You remember my name. I can ask the same question to you about remembering my name.” 
He watched her face turn red as she looked away to push her glasses up, “I mean yeah...Oh, let me help you get up.” 
She got up and put her hand out as she looked at him with her innocent eyes that he remembered from high school. He let a smile escape but it was a real smile this time. He accepted her hand and got up slowly as he looked down at her only now realizing how short she was. She looked up at him and they stared at each other until she realized why she was running in the first place.
“I have to go, I’m sorry. My younger brother is alone and I have to go back as fast as I can.” 
“Oh, no. I understand but maybe we can meet up here tomorrow to catch up? You can bring your brother, wait how old is he?” 
“Yeah-yeah I would love that. I mean I would like that a lot. My brother’s nine, he likes to play on the playground with my dad. I think it will be good for him to come out and get fresh air. Actually, I need fresh air from doing my work.”
He looked down and realized he was still holding her hand and let go to scratch the back of his neck, “I’ll see you tomorrow then...” 
“Bye...” 
He watched her leave and stared at her back until she was out of his sight. He let the widest grin he's had in months and clenched his chest, Y/N... He turned around and walked back to the filmlair path to go back to his house when another memory came to mind. 
“She got another hundred on her test.”
“Namjoon, the more you talk about her the more I get annoyed by the lack of effort on your part.” 
“Hyung, you don’t understand. She’s everything I want-”
“Then talk to her.” 
“Y/N, wouldn’t want to talk to me. Plus we only have two classes and we're seniors, there isn’t enough time for anything to happen.” 
“Time is in your head but what I do know is that if it happens then it happens. Regardless of time.”  
Yoongi was always good with words but during that time, he never understood what he was trying to tell him. Maybe it was time for him to try to do everything he wanted with her that he was too scared to do in high school. He stopped in his tracks and pinched his arm because everything happened so fast. It’s amazing how things get written out for him and he doesn’t even know how it happens at times but he doesn’t want to argue with the universe and take it the way it is. He opened the door to his house and walked in with a huge grin as he saw his parents on the couch, “Do you guys remember Y/N?”
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Y/N opened her eyes and stared at her ceiling with a blank expression. She couldn’t believe that she ran into Namjoon and fell on top of him. She grabbed a random cushion on her bed and brought it to her face to let out a loud groan. I’m so embarrassed it hurts. She removed the cushion when she heard a knock at her door, “Come in!!” 
“Y/NNNN!! I’m bored!” 
She got up slowly and looked at her brother with a frown, “What do you feel like doing today?” 
“That's what I wanted to ask...My friends asked me to hang out by the playground today on Friday and I forgot to ask mom.” 
“Did you really forget or did you wait until I came because you knew I would say yes?”
“Yes...”
“I asked two questions. You know what, never mind that. Yes, we can go to the park today.” 
“Really!! Thank-”
“First, you need to help me make lunch to bring to the park then.” 
He nodded his head and left her room as she let a smile appear but then a panicked look came across her face. Namjoon never told me the time he wanted to meet me. Maybe he wasn’t being serious about hanging out today. Yeah, I’m going to lean towards that one.
She got out of her bed and brushed her hair as quickly as she could so she could feed her brother breakfast. She put her hair in a messy bun and headed downstairs to see her brother taking out his cereal by himself. 
“You got it, Johnny?” 
“I can do it myself!” 
She smiled at this and went to make her own breakfast for the day. She made herself a peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jelly and a glass of honey tea. She pulled out the chair for her brother as he sat down eating his food with a smile. She ruffled his hair and went back to eat her food with a nervous look. Namjoon looked so happy seeing me or maybe that's what I wanted to see. Ignorance is bliss sometimes, I guess. 
She went back to her room to change for the park day and decided to leave her laptop at home to finally feel relaxed for once. She changed into a purple striped sweater and black leggings with her white sneakers. She headed downstairs with her shoes in hand and saw that her brother was already waiting outside for her. She smiled at the excitement and hurried to put her shoes on and grabbed her purse. They walked down towards the park and she looked at a store that brought back a sad memory for her. 
She was sitting in the store hiding from the girls in her classroom. They found out who she liked and now she was mortified to show her face in public again. The group of girls went through her backpack when she went for a drink and found her journal. She knew she was stupid because why would she bring something to school that was that special to her? 
The store owner looked at her with a sad look and looked at the front of the store for the group of girls. He walked towards her as he saw the girl on the floor crying from the interaction. He went down to her level and gently removed her arms to see her face. She had a small bruise forming on her cheek and a small cut forming under her eye. 
“Come on, let's patch you up.” 
She shook her head at this thought and continued to walk with her little brother who was well ahead of her. She watched her little brother go straight to the playground as she went towards the swing with her headphones in. She was looking around hoping to see Namjoon but after an hour passed, she realized he wasn’t coming. She shouldn’t feel so hurt about this but the look on his face from yesterday gave her the false hope that maybe he would come. Maybe this is a sign from the universe to finally move on from him...after three years of being in love with someone...and never getting noticed by him, maybe it's time to say goodbye.
She snapped out of it when she heard her name being called. She looked up to see the dimple tall man that she fell in love with. Her eyes widened and she got out of the swing slowly, “You came?”
“Sorry about that, my mom wanted to make me lunch and then my aunt came over. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, Y/N.” 
She shook her head as she blinked rapidly, “No, I’m just...I’m shocked you came.” 
“I was the one that asked you to come, it would be rude of me if I didn’t show up.” 
“It would be rude...I’m glad you're here.” 
He sat in the swing next to her as he watched the kids play, “You remember when you were that young?”
“I do but at the same time I don’t. I feel like their memories that my parents had of me when I was young and none are mine if I’m being honest.” 
“That’s fair. The only thing I remember was getting hurt a lot at that age.” 
She let out a laugh and looked at him as he looked at her closely and the smile she had, “That’s oddly specific to remember isn’t it?” 
“It made my parents and sister laugh so, I guess that's why I remember it.” 
“Does it make you laugh?” 
“Sometimes.” 
The two sat in silence as she avoided his gaze and bit her lip. She let out a deep breath, causing him to look at her curiously, “Why did you want to meet up with me?” 
“Because we went to the same high school.” 
“We go to the same college, if you wanted to catch up with me you could’ve seeked me out.” 
“Wait, we go to the same college? I’m usually in the law department or the film one. If I knew you were there, I would’ve done this a long time ago.” 
“You're in the law department? That's surprising.” 
He stopped swinging and turned towards her completely, “Why is that?”
“Because you loved writing lyrics in high school...I remember in our American Literature class you were the first one to finish the poem assignment and then you read it to the class. You were so good at writing them that hearing you become a lawyer is a shock.”
He nodded his head and looked down at his feet for a second but looked back at her, “Things happen you know. What’s your major?”
“Oh, I’m doing history.”
“See that makes sense for you.”
“Why?”
“You always got perfect scores in history class, I was jealous of it.”
“You remember that?”
“Yeah... I always remember you Y/N. Please don’t think otherwise.” 
Hearing him say this caused her heart to beat even faster, if that was possible. 
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“You talked to Y/N? Like the Y/N from high school?” 
Namjoon nodded his head in a shy manner towards Yoongi who was shocked at what he just said, “It only took you two years.” 
“Do you really have to bring that up?”
“Yes, because I was the one that had to suffer.” 
Jimin rolled his eyes and kicked Yoongi shin under the table as he turned towards Namjoon with a smile, “So, what happened?” 
“I walked her home and I asked her to meet me for lunch on Thursday because it was less busy.” 
“Ah, smart. No wonder you're at the top of your classes.” 
“That’s not how it works, Jungkook but I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, Taehyung.” 
Y/N looked at her friend whose eyes were wide at what she just said, “The person who you had a crush on for three years asked you for lunch because you knocked into him.” 
“Yes... I already said it three times.”
“You lucky bitch, your living in a stupid teen romance novel while I’m here waiting for something, anything at this point.” 
“Shut up, I was shocked he asked him out but we’ll see how well it goes.” 
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Dear Namjoon, 
I guess it’s selfish of me to ask for your attention especially since what happened between us. There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought of you or worn your sweater that you sneakily gave me. I know we text often but I hope my letters give you the intimacy that you deserve. I wish I can give you all the physical touches but this letter is my physical touch to you. I love you forever and ever.
Until Next Time, 
Y/N
Two years ago
“You know it's pretty disgusting.” 
Y/N titled her head at Lydia as she put up the rest of the plates, “What is?” 
“How much he loves you. It's annoying to watch on the sidelines.” 
“That’s not nice and who?” 
Lydia gave her look of are-you-kidding-me with her eyebrow raised, “Loverboy.” 
“Don’t call him that and he hasn't said he loved me.” 
She closed the cabinet as she turned towards her friend with an annoyed look but Lydia saw the red cheeks. She jumped off of the countertop and walked into the living room, “Even though he hasn’t said it, his actions show it.” 
Y/N sat on the couch as she pulled down her sweater over her hands, “What do you mean?” 
“He buys you lunch, he waits for you when your class is over, he walks you to your classes even the early ones, he holds your laptop and he checks you out everytime.” 
She rolled her eyes and checked her buzzing phone. The nervous smile dropped and a frown replaced it. It was another email from the school in England. After last year's history project went well, her professor sent a letter of recognition to the school for her masters. She didn’t tell any of her friends or even Namjoon about it because she knew they would want her to pursue it. Her heart tells her to tell them but her brain tells her not to risk it in case they get mad at her for hiding this secret. 
Lydia raised her eyebrow at the sudden mood change, “What happened?” 
“Another news update from the world. Never happy...” 
That night she was restless and she remembered what Namjoon told her last week making her feel even more guilty about her decision. 
“Thank you for supporting me. I appreciate it.” 
“I’ll always support you, no matter what.” 
She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Namjoon, Are you up? 
Yeah, why are you up?
The weather is keeping me up.
Want to go to the park?
That sounds fun : )
Namjoon and Y/N sat together at a bench as the two stared at the night sky with a smile. She leaned her against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around hers. The two have been dating for a year next Friday. In the span of the year, Y/N hasn’t felt happier. Her grandmother was feeling better, her history professor was impressed with her work and she was with someone who she had wanted since she was a teen but deep down something was wrong. Ever since her professor recommended her to the college of her dreams, she decided to deny it because of how well everything was going for her. 
She cuddled further into his neck as he rubbed her shoulders, “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, I just like spending time with you.” 
“I would hope so, unless this would be awkward to do.” 
She looked up at him with a confused face but was met with his lips instead. She let a smile escape as she kissed back. The kiss wasn’t passionate but it wasn’t just a peck either. It was the type of kiss that took your breath away everytime you shared it. They both pulled away as they stared at each other with pure happiness seeping through their eyes. 
“Y/N, next week I was thinking we could go to Starlight.” 
“Starlight? That’s expensive.” 
“I know but It’s for a celebration of our time together, so it's worth it.” 
“That was cheesy but I love it.”
She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose as he kissed her forehead. Everything was going perfect for her but something was missing and she couldn’t figure it out. They both stood up from the bench and held hands as he walked her towards her dorm. She swung their arms back and forth as they walked, making him let out a chuckle. When they reached the door he leaned down and kissed her lips gently making her heart flutter. She waved goodbye as she felt his eyes on her back as she entered her dorm. She clenched her chest as she couldn’t stop smiling but at the same time she felt guilty for hiding something from him but she knew what she was doing was right. 
The next morning, Y/N woke up late the next morning  after arriving home late. Lucky for her, she didn’t have any classes today but she had a meeting with professor Lee. He wanted to discuss her history project from last year and among other things. She was nervous to hear what he had to say but thought to herself what's the worst that can happen.
She changed into her tan sweater and leggings with her hair up in a messy bun. She left a note for Lydia to let her know where she was and was off. She walked across the campus trying her best to avoid the other students. 
She knocked on the door of her professor and when she heard the okay she opened the door. She looked around the room with wide eyes as she saw the history departments dean and all the professors there waiting for her.  
Show bowed slowly to them and when she came back up gave them a small smile, “Good morning...”
“Mrs. L/N, please have a seat.” 
She took the only seat that was towards the door and stared at them with a confused look, “Is everything alright?” 
“Yes, professor Lee told us that you got accepted to the University of Cambridge but you haven’t confirmed anything, is that correct?” 
“Ummm...Yes sir.” 
“This college would do wonders for your job career and not only that, it will elevate you as a person. We just wanted to make sure you're making the right decision.” 
“I-I still haven't made one.” 
“You have until the end of this month but please really think about it. You're the top student and we see the passion you have for history. We just want you to make the right decision for yourself or talk to us if you're going through something. Have a nice day, Mrs. L/N.”
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“Does this dress look weird? Be honest.” 
“Do you want me to just call you ugly? I’ve called you pretty.” 
Y/N flattened out her skirt and did another twirl in the mirror. The dress covered a small portion of her shoulders and flowed down into a fancy keyhole neckline. It was a snugged fit which highlighted her breasts but it left one to imagine. Her arms have been covered completely as the sleeves came down to a very loose fit at the bottom as it touched her skirt. The dress itself showed off her shape but the skirt made it obvious without heels she would trip. To top everything off, she had on a simple diamond heart necklace that her father gifted her and diamond hoops that Namjoon gave her for her past birthday. The color lilac went well with her skin tone and curled hair but she couldn’t help something was missing. 
“It feels like something is missing.” 
“Yeah, it's called confidence, go get it.” 
She rolled her eyes at Lydia and realized what it was missing. She went through her jewelry box and picked out a simple bracelet that Namjoon actually made for her on a date, “There now it's complete.” 
“If you don’t get laid then I have no choice in this world.”
“Shut up.” 
She heard the doorbell and ring and looked at Lydia, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 
“I better see a hickey!!” 
“Shut up!!!” 
She opened the door and saw Namjoon in a simple black tux holding purple roses. She looked up at him and saw the shy glance making her feel shy as well. She leaned forward and kissed his check gently and took the roses out of his hands, “I love them, Joonie. Bonus points on getting flowers that I'm not allergic to, this time.” 
“You will never let that go.” 
“My doctor won't so, take that as you will.”
She took her purse off of the nail as she set the flowers on the table near the door. She took Namjoon's hand and the couple was off into the night. She held his hand as she leaned against his long arm and he kept looking down at her making sure his elbow wasn’t hitting her. The two entered the restaurant and the ceiling was everything the reviews said they would be. It was glass but there was an inner layer where it slowly turned to make you feel like the stars were shining under you as you ate. 
They walked towards their table which was near the middle of the room. He pushed the chair out for her and she smiled at him. She sat down and stared at him with pure admiration and he returned it. They both ordered simple pasta so they can have room for dessert to celebrate their anniversary.
Namjoon grabbed her hand across the table and creased hers with his thumb, “I have something to tell you.”
“This can either go good or bad.”
“It’s good, I just wanted to tell you tonight how much I appreciate you and how in love I am with you.”
Her mouth fell open when she heard the last words with her eyes wide, “You love me?”
“I’ve loved you since high school, Y/N. I never told you this before because I was embarrassed to say that I was in love with you before we met and I didn’t want to scare you off.” 
“I’ve been in love with you since high school too.” 
The both of them stared at each other before Namjoon letting out a deep laugh, “God, I’m so stupid. Should’ve taken my chance with you when I had it.” 
“Well now we have each other. We can make up for lost time.” 
He gave her a small smirk and leaned forward, “You want to make up lost time?” 
“Yeah, I’ve been in love with you for so long that I want to make up for everything we missed.” 
“Everything?” 
“Of course.” 
He gave her a mischievous look, “Just wait till tonight then.”
Her face turned red and shook her head at him. The waiter brought out a cake and the chocolate syrup on the plate said “Happy anniversary.” She gave him a smile as she took a small piece of cake and fed it to him. The two eat the cake in peace as Namjoon looks at her with pure happiness. This past year was everything he wanted it to be and more except for his school life. 
When they were done, he ordered a taxi and she raised her eyebrow at this. She gave him a confused look, “The dorms are over there-”
“What I’m going to do to you doesn’t need an audience.” 
The car ride there was filled with silence as she didn’t know what to say to him. She was flustered at the implication and now her whole body feels like it's on fire as he creased the tops of her thigh slowly. She stared outside her window as she felt his stare but she knew if she looked at him she would melt right there. When the car stopped, he gently took her hand and took her to be in front of a fancy hotel. Before she could say anything, he opened the front door and entered it. 
She waited for him to check in as she wasn’t sure what to do and she looked around the lobby to see nice flowers in pots and random paintings that brought the room together. He showed her the room key and took her hand to the elevator. As they stood in a small space, she tilted her head at him, “Sooo....what's happening?” 
“I have something to show you.” 
“Can I have a hint?” 
“Nope.” 
She frowned at this but shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed his hand and leaned against her arm with a smile. He looked down at her and smiled as he kissed the top of her head. The elevator stopped and he took her hand as he led her into the top suite of the hotel. Her eyes widened at the sight before her. The room was filled with candles and purple rose petals on the floor. 
“Namjoon...I-”
“Do you like it?” 
“Like it? If I said I liked it I might as well slap you. I love it.” 
He let out a small chuckle and brought her towards a table that had champagne and strawberries (her favorite.) She took a strawberry and brought it up to his mouth as he happily accepted the small fruit. She took a sip of her champagne as she smiled at him, “Your not going to eat the strawberries?” 
“I fed you...”
“Oh, I see you want me to feed you. If you wanted that you should’ve just said that.”
“It’s embarrassing.” 
He ignored her and brought up a strawberry to her mouth as she parted her lips to eat the berry. She felt some of the juices go down her chin as she felt his stare on the juices. She went to wipe the juices with a napkin, he was quicker and leaned in to wipe the juices up with his finger. He gave her smirk, “Open your mouth, baby.” 
She looked down at his finger and realized what he wanted. Her face turned redder but she ignored her nerves and gently leaned forward taking the finger into her mouth. She looked up at him with big innocent eyes and she sucked off the juice. He let out a heavy breath as he watched her and something about her innocent eyes made him go crazy on the inside. 
She released the finger and looked away from his stare for a second, “Fuck...” 
She looked back at him to see his eyes clouded with a look she's seen once in a while but never questioned it until now, “Is everything okay...” 
“Y/N, I love you. You're the only woman I ever wanted to be with and I’ve been in love with you for years. You're the only one I can see in my future and I know we’ve only been together for a year now but...What I’m trying to say is- Will you marry me?” 
Her eyes widened as she watched him get down on his knee with a beautiful ring that looked like a diamond encrusted flower. She looked back at his face to see the nervousness on his face, “Of course I will marry you.” 
She leaned down and brought his face into chest as she gently ran her fingers through his as he hugged her tightly. When she was released from the hug she looked at him with small tears in her eyes, “You have to tell your parents about your dreams with music.” 
“I knew you would say that, so I asked to meet with my parents this weekend.” 
He put the ring on her finger as she smiled at him doing it. He grabbed her hand and they stood up from the floor. He leaned down to kiss her as he desperately nipped at hers while her hands went on his chest in a shy manner but she felt his muscles. His body responded by bringing her in closer as her dress hiked up on her thighs as his knee parted her legs until his lower body was pressed against hers. His tongue pushed forwards into her mouth making a shy moan come from her mouth. She felt his hips grind against her lower part and released herself from the kiss to put her head on his chest from the sudden movement. She felt him getting hard already and Namjoon let out a deep breath, “God, Y/N...” 
He pressed his forehead against the top of her head as Y/N listened to his heartbeat thumping loudly in his chest. She slowly looked up at him and gave him a gentle smile, “I think we should move this to the bed...” 
“I was thinking the same thing, love.” 
He lunged forward, attacking her lips with a hungry kiss that took her breath away. He picked her up and she felt his hands rub the back of her thighs as she continued to kiss him. It wasn’t until she felt the softness of the bed making her eyes wide when she felt his hand under her dress. 
“Joon-” She tried to ask him what he was doing but was met with an answer instead. His hand slipped into her underwear and he gently pushed two fingers inside her without warning. “Joon...” she moaned out his name throwing her body against the bed at the sudden feeling. His long fingers were inside her and she felt the best she had felt in a while, and she couldn’t stop the sounds. 
“I love how you say my name, baby.” He praised her with a smirk, thrusting his fingers in and out at a steady rhythm as his thumb found its way to her clit. She gasped at the feeling and clutched her chest tightly with her eyes closed. 
“I feel bad for others because they will never get to see or feel this pussy, tell me Y/N, would you like that?” 
“Y-yes...”, she stuttered out, feeling too overwhelmed from Namjoon’s actions. He knew exactly what he was going to do and it made Y/N jealous at his confidence but she couldn’t get enough of it. 
“Good,” He cooed and kissed the inside of thigh and as he gave her thigh a small squeeze causing her to groan at the sudden touch, “Now come for me.” He increased the speed and intensity of his movements until it was too much. Her vision went dark and her walls clenched around his fingers that didn’t stop moving. 
He went forward on the bed, gently removed his fingers from her and pressed a small kiss to her temple and held her in his arms as she tried to regain her composure. He wiped his fingers off on the side of his pants before he tangled his hand into her hair to give her a deep kiss. 
“Wow...” She rested her head against chest as felt her body relax. Namjoon smiled at this and kissed the top of her head. 
“We’re just getting started.” He let out a chuckle and smoothed down her hair. “Let’s take this off shall we.” 
“You have to take off your stuff too, it's not fair.” 
“I’ll do anything for you.” 
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow as he saw she wasn’t wearing a bra and only underwear, “Did you want something to happen?” 
“No-no...The dress looks weird with a bra so here I am...” 
He gently pushed her down and he cupped her breasts making her back arched. She let out a deep sigh when he sucked down on one of her hardened nipples, then switched to the other. “You are so perfect, Y/N.”
She looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair, “Joon, you're perfect.” 
He loved her so much and he couldn’t believe that the universe gave him another chance with her. It’s always been her and now it will forever be her no matter what. The man who was content on settling was now seeing how wronged he was. He released her nippled and moved to her lips and slowly kissed her. She smiled into his kiss as she wrapped her hand around his neck to deepen the kiss. He leaned away and took one of her hands to put on his hardened member inside his boxers. 
Her hands were shaking but she ignored it as she played with him shyly. “God, that feels good.” 
He went towards her underwear and looked at her before he took it off. She nodded her head and he gently removed the underwear and she did the same for him. He was on top of her body and kissed her forehead before putting himself in. 
“Fuck, you feel amazing, love.” He murmured in a lust fueled voice as his lips were against her ear making her shiver at how deep his voice was. “Are you okay?”
“It feels... so good.” She whimpered out as he saw the innocent look in her eyes as she said that. 
“Fuck I love how you look at me like that, Y/N.”
“I’m just- Joon!”
He thrusted forward and she felt everything. She felt tears in the corner of her eyes at the overwhelming feeling. She watched his face the best she could as she felt him move in and out of her. She moved her hands onto his cheek and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss as he continued his movements. 
“Joon...I’m...”
“It’s okay, love. You can let go.” 
He encouraged her and kissed her neck softly as his hand fumbled between their bodies and started to rub her clit gently. It only took a few strokes against the bundle of nerves and the forceful thrusts to send her into a shaking mess. “I love you so much, Y/N. So tight for me.” 
Her body was exhausted but his words gave her some energy as she started to lightly grind her hips with his thrusts, “Joon...You can come inside. I’m on the pill.” 
He nodded his head in acknowledgement and was too close to his own climax to speak. Moments later she felt his sputter and his dick twitching inside of her as she felt the warmth. He leaned forward and kissed her one last time and he removed himself. She let out a small sigh as she felt him remove himself and she smiled at him gently as he grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe off the mess. 
Once he was done he tossed the towel on the floor and grabbed her hand gently, “Should you go to the bathroom?” 
“Let me gain my breath first, love.” 
He grabbed his dress shirt from the floor and handed it to her. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed to the bathroom as he watched his future wife with love in his eyes. 
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After the night everything changed for Y/N and Namjoon’s lives. All their friends know about the engagement and she smacked Lydia for pointing out her hickey to everyone. Namjoon’s friends held a small party to celebrate the future and she learned a lot from them. Yoongi told her that everyday he would talk about her to them and how she would never like him. She thought it was funny that the man who was so confident with her at all times that the truth of everything was opposite. He was annoyed but she thought it was cute. After the proposal, she realized that she should let go of her dream for college when all she wanted was here but deep down she knew it was easier to say than do.
It's been a week since getting engaged and Namjoon was feeling all the confidence in the world. He just finished talking to his parents about his major and even though they were shocked they wanted him to be happy.  
After a few minutes of silence, Namjoon looked up from his socks to his parents staring at him with no emotion.
“Omma, appa...”
“Namjoon, I figured.” 
He looked up at his father with wide eyes, “What do you mean?”
His father let out a deep chuckle, “I know what my kids like. Contrary to popular belief, I pay attention.” 
“Joon, we just want you to be happy.” 
“I guess we wish you could’ve told us sooner.” 
He shook his head at the sad look on his mothers face, “It wasn’t because of you guys. It was me, I wanted to make you proud and I guess my insecurities towards my talent with music got in the way and I blamed you guys for it.” 
“Do what makes you happy son.” 
His parents were excited to hear that Y/N accepted it and her parents showed up to congulated him. Her father gave him a hug and was happy that he loved his daughter with all his heart and was excited to get a son-in-law. He leaned his head against the window of the bus and couldn’t help but smile and he was sure the people around him were creeped out. When the bus stopped he got off and headed towards the history department to pick up Y/N.
As he saw the classroom come into view, he was shocked to see it empty. He took his phone out to make sure he didn’t miss out on a text from her but saw nothing. He was confused and walked out of the classroom to look around the lobby. He saw nothing and walked towards the front office to see if she was in there. He heard her voice and went to open the door but stopped when he heard the conversation. 
“Yes-yes, I’m sure, professor.” 
“Alright, I’ll tell the head director your decision. Make sure you email Cambridge that you declined them.”
“Thank you professor.” 
“Good luck and your future Mrs. L/N.” 
His eyes widened at this and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. This whole time she was helping him figure out his dreams that he never asked about her dreams. He looked down at his shoes and shook his head with disappointment. He walked out the lobby and texted Y/N that he was grabbing lunch with Jin and would be late on seeing her. He dialed his number and let out a deep sigh out, “I need help.” 
He waited in the park when heard footsteps coming towards him. He looked up to see Jin with a worried look, “Is everything alright? You hung up so fast I couldn’t ask you.” 
“How would you react if the person you love has been helping you figure out your dreams and declined theirs in order to help you.” 
“Dude, what are you talking-” 
“Y/N, declined going to Cambridge.” 
Jin’s wided at this and sat next to him, “How do you know this?”
“I overheard a conversation with her professor when I went looking for her...I’m a horrible boyfriend.” 
“No you're not. It's hard to fix something when you weren’t aware of it in the first place.” 
“But I didn’t ask either.” 
“That’s true but what are you going to do? She already made the decision to stay with you, you can’t change her mind.”
Namjoon leaned forward and shook his head, “She told me to tell my parents about my music dreams when I asked her to marry me.” 
“I’m going to tell you something...Sometimes you have to let people go in order for them to grow or find something they’ve been looking for. If they come back then that's wonderful for you and if they don’t then that's when you know the truth. I like Y/N, I really do but you can’t have her settle for one thing when she wants another thing.” 
“I have a plan...” 
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Y/N was dressed in fancier clothes as today Namjoon told her that they were going to have a party with their parents. She was excited to see them and even more excited to show off her ring. She decided to wait till monday to send an email regarding her decision but she knew it would be for the best. The dress was just a simple white sweater dress that she topped with a trench coat for the weather. She quickly put her hair in a ponytail when she heard the doorbell and knew it was Namjoon. 
She opened the door and saw his smile making her feel shy, “Hi, love.”
“You got everything?”
“Yeah, I’m excited to see your parents. It's been awhile.” 
“It’s only been a week. Don’t be so dramatic.” 
They got in the taxi as she kept looking at him trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He had this look in his eyes and she couldn’t figure it out. She leaned her head against her shoulder as he slowly turned his head to kiss her head. She snuggled her head closer to his shoulder as he stared at her. 
When the car stopped she looked outside with a confused look, “Why are we at the train station? Are we meeting them somewhere?”
“Y/N... Let's get out of the car first.”  
She nodded her head in confusion but took his hand to be out. She watched the taxi and she saw Namjoon giving her a frown, “You have a ticket at 4:30 and it's going to take you right to the airport where your parents will be waiting for you.”
“Why would they be there?”
“Because you're going to Cambridge and you're enrolled for the fall semester.”
Her face dropped and shook her head at him, “What are you talking about, Joon?” 
“Y/N, I want to marry you so bad but the thought of you being stuck here because of me makes me sick.” 
“Joon...” 
He took her hands as he pushed some hair behind her ear, “Namjoon, I’m not going. I don't know how you found out but I’m-”
“You're going to be the historian I know you are but without me.” 
She started shaking her head rapidly and looked away, “I’m not leaving without you. You are my dream, Joon.” 
He shook his head and looked away from her face when he saw the small tears in her eyes threatening to escape, “You have to experience your dream before we can share the same dream, Y/N.” 
“No, I’m not going.” 
“Do you want to marry me? One-hundred percent?” 
“Yes, I have loved you since I was in high school and I love you so much that I would give up everything.” 
“That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m giving you up so you can experience your dream without me. I love you so much that I’m letting you go.”
She shook her head as she let go of his hand and covered her mouth to let out a small sob, “You can’t do this.”
“You don’t think I cried about this. I can’t let you waste your life because of me, I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror.”
“I want to be with you, please. Please don’t leave me.” 
He looked away to avoid the tears that were now steaming down her face as he tried stopping his own, “Please Y/N, go do what I know you do best at. This is who you are, not just my girlfriend. You are the brilliant historian that is the tops of her class and gets the high grades because she's passionate about it. That is who you are.”  
“I can be your wife too...” 
He brought her into his chest as he felt her sob but he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. He kissed the top of her head as he heard her say I don’t want to go. When he let go, he looked her in the eye and felt a small tear come down his face, “Promise me, you will become the historian that I know you are.” 
“I promise...” 
He took her hand and led her towards the train station as she let out loud sobs that hurt his heart. She saw all her friends waiting for her as she let out a louder sob. She hugged all of the guys and saw Namjoon’s parents looking at her with a smile. 
“I’m so sorry-”
“Namjoon loves you so much that he’s willing to do this. Please no sorrys.” 
She gave them a fake smile and moved on to Lydia who hugged her the tightest. Lydia was crying into her shoulder as Y/N was doing the same to her. When they backed away, Lydia pushed some hair back and kissed her forehead gently, “I’ll miss you and being your mom.”
“Don’t say that...” 
When she saw Namjoon by the door waiting for her, she ran up to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. He held her as close as he could but nothing was making this easier for the both of them. She leaned forward to kiss him as passionately she could and she couldn’t care if people were watching them. When they both pulled away he held on to her hand before she let go to enter the train. 
She sat down near the window and she looked outside to see all of her friends looking at her with big smiles but she couldn’t return it. She looked at Namjoon as she waved at her softly and she put her hand on the window as he waved. When the train started to move she looked forward to the sudden jerk. She looked back at him and saw him running with the train itself. She covered her mouth as her tears became harder and when he stopped running, she tried her best to look back at him but she couldn’t see him any more. She leaned against her chair as she took at her phone to text Namjoon, 
“Promise me that you will become the best producer out there and you achieve everything you want. Promise me when you see the clouds you find comfort from them. Promise me when you close your eyes you see me, and finally promise me that no matter what you feel my touch even if I’m not there. I love you so much, please don’t forget me…” 
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Extended ending: 
Y/N looked around the station and her eyes landed on a tall figure with a smile. She ran towards the figure as he opened his arms to her. She ran into his arms and felt his warmth again, something she missed after all these years. She looked up and saw the dimple smile she missed so much.
“Are we getting married now?”
“Y/N, you just got back.” 
“I’ve been away from you for too long, I want to be your wife now.” 
“If that’s what you want then I can’t say no because I feel the same way.”
They both leaned forward and kissed each other as she felt the warmth enter her body that she’s been missing all these years. When they pulled away she looked in his eyes, “Namjoon, I missed you so much.” 
“I can say the same thing, love.” 
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jeoseungsaja · 3 years
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“ what does it mean to love something you can’t touch? ” - Miyoung @ Yeo ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
@mythvoiced ♚ from x.
♔ -----------
  The sky seems to be in its best behavior, where everything aligns and looks like a canvas sweetly stained with pastel colors. There’s light blue with tinges of pink and soft lavender; a warm yellow that shyly hides between the few clouds. Breeze dances, making seasonal flowers sway back and forth to the rhythm of birds’ chirping. The roof from the Pavilion, with its beautiful and intricate traditional architecture, shields them from the sun; allowing them to freely admire not only what’s above them, but also, what’s right in front of them. 
   His hands get pressed against the rail made of stone, eyes settled upon the pond, where his reflection wavers whenever fish pass by. The question, it rings with the same whisper of wind; with the same ripples created by gentle splashes. It almost feels as if she’s been mulling over these words for a while now, as if she’s been thinking about them until she cannot hold them behind teeth anymore. At least, he senses the thoughtfulness, even if he’s unable to read her thoughts or unlock any mind-made door. 
   He could tell himself that inquiry’s born out of mere curiosity, like a moment when you see something in particular and you wonder how it works. But the tone of her voice, the loose sadness lingering there, as if she’s been a victim of distant love, tells him otherwise...or, at least, makes him doubt; makes him wonder. Silently wonder, like those times her back shakes against his due to the ongoing tears, like those times where verbal confessions are not released but hints come out in the shape of thorns or red eyes; twitching lips and forlorn sighs. Those times, where he cannot do much but stay and comfort; reach out and attempt to ease whatever’s eating her mind. 
   Maybe one day he’ll know.    Or he won’t.    It’s okay. He won’t push.
   So what does it mean, then, to love something you can’t touch?
   A hum; head lifting toward the sky as if he’ll find an answer etched in there.     He starts thinking of something he loves.    Someone.    His heart grows; the colors of the sky seem brighter, somehow. 
   How would it be, to suddenly be deprived of touch? To suddenly be incapable of tracing patterns upon jaw; of finding excuses to pat the collar of coat or hold hands; of grazing just because he’s near? How would it be, to see this presence vanish? 
    The simple thought burns. It burns and twists horribly in his heart. 
     So what does it mean, then, to love something you can’t touch?
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  “Have you ever heard about the tale of Jiknyeo and Gyeonwu? A weaver and a herder who fell in love. They were so in love, this love consumed them and they didn’t want to think of anything else. They stopped doing their usual duties. The King, who happened to be Jiknyeo’s father, grew furious because of this, and ordered them to live in different corners of the Milky Way, separating them. They could only see each other once a year, but they could never cross the Milky Way.” 
    He straightens his back; keeps his eyes upon Minyoung now, offering a friendly gaze. 
   “They could only meet on the seventh day of the seventh month of each year; see each other from a distance. Which means, they couldn’t touch each other. I think...it means a great sacrifice. To love so fervently but not being able to reach out for...this something. But also, they do say that with great sacrifice comes great reward, right? You see, this tale doesn’t end here.” 
    Yeo’s orbs move, if only to see a lonely bird perched upon a branch. 
    “Crows and magpies worked together to form a bridge across the Milky Way so Gyeonwu and Jiknyeo could meet. Some people think these birds don’t have feathers on their heads because of the couple stepping on them, year after year. And after that, they’re forced to wait another year, longing for the next seventh day of the seventh month.” 
    A pause, along with a sigh; hands moving to slide themselves inside the pockets of his trousers. He turns about to fully face Minyoung; a small smile stretching his lips. 
   “Maybe it also means a bridge of crows and magpies can be found, somewhere. Maybe it means...that if you keep the feeling and memory alive, you’ll be able to touch this something, some day. Not today, or tomorrow...maybe not on this life. But some day.” 
----------- ♔
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ivakir · 4 years
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stcriestcld sent:
✘ : Are there any genres you refuse to write for? 
⚡ : What typically leads to inspiration for you when it comes to writing?  
♚ : What’s something you just can’t stand and will unfollow someone over?
Meme:  Monday Malarkey
Are there any genres you refuse to write for?
  Any threads where nothing happens. I call them passive threads. I'm not saying that we should always write about how our characters seek treasures or something close to that, or that our interactions should always be plotted. Keeping everything in balance is the key. Conversations and so on are very important not only for the relationship between characters, but also for writing practice (which I consider important... at least, for myself). But the fact is that this particular genre is very popular here - not to write anything serious, but only threads (or even just answers to questions) about how the characters went to a cafe, a movie and where nothing happened; about their favorite movies, music, icee cream and... that's all. People just love to discuss how things happen behind actual roleplaying, but not to write them. I didn’t come to roleplaying to write about how our characters live in that small bubble where nothing happens, where there is always love and support. I want to write stories which can be sad. where something bad may happen. It hurts me a lot when I see cool characters with a cool story, abilities (if we're talking about fantasy and science fiction), but the roleplayer never use anything of this. What’s the point to have such a character if you don’t use even a minimum of their backstory?
  You can say that discussing favorite movies is already some sort of action. What I am trying to say is to discuss what kinds of movies our characters like is fine, but to devote the whole thread for that? To have a lot of useless threads which lead to nowhere? How are we going to build a story? I would rather include it as a detail in a big thread with other details, with character’s monologue. Idk, I just want my replies and threads to look like they are from the book.
  I understand perfectly well that we are pursuing our own goals and see roleplaying in our own way. Some people like this genre, and ok, good. But I am  more offended that I write in my rules "if passive threads is your main style, then don't ask for serious threads", but people still come and ask for plotted threads with actions and then they drop them, because, as I see it, they don't know how to write in such genre. This is where my anger comes from. 
  I write passive threads, too, but I try to write them mostly with those who also write action threads.
What typically leads to inspiration for you when it comes to writing?  
  Reading books and literature related to building a script, as well as books like "How to write books, how to build a story". I have a clear goal - not just to write a character, but also to learn how to write. I want to show some personalities, I want to build not typical stories with other people. I think to have a clear goal in your hobbies is a good way to keep yourself motivated.
What’s something you just can’t stand and will unfollow someone over?
Where to start...
Constantly jumping from one blog to another. Here is an example of what I consider “constantly”: I had a roleplayer who changed their blogs every two weeks (sometimes even less). I always followed them, because I wanted to interact and we already had a thread, but eventually I dropped my attempts, because I got tired of chasing them and waiting for when they finally settle down. I have a bad experience with blog hopping and most of the time I know that they are probably never gonna write.
Another no is ignoring me (please, don't read it as "people should devote their time 24/7") and bad social skills. I won't die if people tell me that they don't want to interact with me. Telling "yeah, yeah, we should play, I will answer your starter" (consider that they asked for plotting and for starter) instead of just telling a direct "no" is, in my opinion, very rude. A long time later, I had the idea that either this is just some kind of cultural thing, since in some countries a direct no is considered rude and people prefer to feed each other promises (which is a polite way to tell no). Which doesn't work with foreigners, who may not know such details. Foreigners will think that you will answer them, but it never happens. So, I stopped being offended so much, although I will not hide that it infuriates.   Or it may be just bad social skills. Though another question is if they don’t want to interact, then why they followed me.   It also includes ignoring my attempts to write together: I constantly send them memes or starter memes, send them messages, like their starter calls and etc., in general, show interest, but there is always silence (considering that they are active. it’s very important.). I usually wait for 3-4 months and then unfollow them. My “favorite” thing is when they also use me as a meme / aesthetic archive, while ignoring me. Then I unfollow them faster.
Constantly (as I like to say, this is the key word) dropping threads. I think this is another thing that scares people away from my blog. They probably think that I will chase them for every dropped thread. It's not like that.   I believe that if you constantly ask for threads, and then you also constantly drop them, then this, to put it mildly, is not ok. But it pisses me off more when a person returns two months later, drops all their threads, because they want to start fresh, makes a starter call or asks for starters, then disappears again, returns, drops everything again and repeats this cycle until they write "lol tumblr rp sucks I barely get any interactions here". The problem, of course, is not that they disappear (I am totally fine with that), but that they make others write starters / replies for them and waste their time.
Hate and treating your followers poorly. But what does count as a hate? Sometimes, if you just write your opinion, then for some reason it is immediately considered a hate.
Constantly asking for positivity, but never doing anything in return. It’s okay to ask for kind words, but if it happens constantly and it doesn’t look like you feel well after them, then idk. 
Appearing on your blog every two weeks / months and writing posts like “I hate being here, I don’t know why I keep returning here, everyone here sucks except for my Super Close Friends on discord". I always feel sorry for people who leaves likes under such posts - they show interest, they want to be supportive, but in return they get shit. I know that feeling when you just want to drop everything, because you are tired and you just want to write such posts to show that you don’t feel well, but I don’t understand the point to write them that often.
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pendraigon-moved · 3 years
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whos the prettiest donkey prince in all the lands?
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....................................................................... its me, im the prettiest donkey prince.
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pendraigon-moved · 3 years
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describe dollophead in two words (i'm not even sorry)
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pendraigon-moved · 3 years
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CHLOE HERE'S SAME RANDOM MONDAY LOVE have a great day and send my love to our himbo arthur <3
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 I   APPRECIATE   YOUR   RANDOM   MONDAY   LOVE,   IT   WAS   MUCH   NEEDED   !!   i   just   got   home   from   work   and   i   am   Tired   Out,   but   it   was   an   easy   day   without   any   drama,   so   i   call   that   a   success.   i   shall   send   all   the   love   to   our   dear   himbo   king   <3
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pendraigon-moved · 3 years
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that edit? beautiful. but jail time for you.
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