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cloveroctobers · 1 year

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SILENCE — ANGEL REYES x OC x CANE TEJADA | Part ii.

A/N: I can’t believe I’m actually doing a part two since I never do those because they don’t ever preform as well as the first but after that (terrible) finale I couldn’t resist. Thanks for the support on the first one, hopefully this will bring some sense of more life for Angel. if this is my last piece for him then why not also go out with a little something? He’s the last man standing apparently so here’s a send off on my part.

WARNINGS: language, hints of coping mechanisms? Or Mental illness Therapy is mentioned, I’ve also been binge-watching 9-1-1 from the beginning, I’m currently on season 4 I think! which is why Eddie’s character is mentioned but he doesn’t make a appearance so please skip over this if you’re feeling some type of way about that and are looking for a eddie based fic. I will be writing something for him soon btw. There’s also a little surprise towards the end for certain lovers who might read this.

*GIF and photos DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

Read part one here. + using this prompt and number 21. Timing

*ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *

Solay’s half asleep, the soft horns sounding from the NBA game Cane’s got his hands on was actually comforting and it often reminded her of nights when her and her sister would fall asleep on the couch together while their father watched the game. It was late, once watching the clock going from midnight to 2 am, she was once wired, greasing cane’s hair and brushing his waves before securing the doo-rag around his head.

It was a typical night, their version of normal until harsh knocks sounded at the door, breaking Solay out of her slumber. Her eyes felt heavy but she was alert and so was Cane as he paused the game, picking up on the knocks that appeared at the door some more. He tossed the controller onto the coffee table, moving slowly as he reaches underneath the cushion of the couch Solay was lounging on.

His low-lidded eyes briefly met her’s as he brings a single finger up to his lips after taking the safety off. Cane’s on his feet now while Solay shortly follows after, reaching over to turn off the side lamp and ready to head to the back of the home to check on her son, Xavier.

Cane wasn’t sure who it could be, he knew it couldn’t be any of his people considering the situation back home but he figured it could be Tariq’s bitch ass, you just never know with him. He’s against the door now, peeking around but all he could see was a shadow of someone.

Yanking the door back to fly against the wall, he’s quick with his grip as he aims the gun right at Angel Reyes who hold’s out a arm while he cradles his son.

“Fuck you want?” Cane asks.

Angel looks down but it’s not like Cane cares, although it seems he lowers the gun just a bit, for the baby’s sake.

“I need to talk to soso.”

“Nig—, you know what time it is? Knocking on the damn door like you the feds or some shit? What makes you think it’s okay to show up here unannounced at this time of the night?” Cane’s tone is clipped.

Angel shifts Maverick in his arms as he says, “that’s a conversation I need to have with Solay, not you.”

“Last time I checked, she ain’t with your ass no more and I’m the man of this house so you want to run that by me again?”

A house Angel was damn sure Cane didn’t put a penny down to help with the mortgage.

The darkness underneath Angel’s eyes was deafening but the twitch of his brows was evident that he had no intentions of backing down. He still felt a way about Cane showing up to his house and Angel thought he could do the same. If this was his house but Angel couldn’t see himself in the big apple.

It was only right in his eyes.

Before he can send a rebuttal at the shorter brown skinned man, Solay appears from behind Cane, who lets out a sigh before sucking his teeth.

“Enrique Iglesias is here,” Cane informs Solay who pulls her robe tighter around her body.

She hasn’t seen Angel since the funeral for Felipe. Understandably so, he needed time to grieve but she figured he was doing it alone due to the decline of Ezekiel’s relationship with the man and that couldn’t be healthy. And it wasn’t like Solay saw Angel much before that either, he showed up to the second therapy session but it was clear that his mind was somewhere else. Which wasn’t unusual when it came to his precious club but Solay didn’t pry since it seemed like Angel was always on the go or lost in his thoughts. It’s not like she didn’t care but he was the one who encouraged her there to these sessions but her gut also told her that it would always be only a matter of time.

Until he moved on to something else.

Timing was never something Angel managed well. If shit came at him, he was usually thrown for a loop depending on what it was and never had guidelines for plans or anything like that. He was more take things as they were tossed at him type of person but ever since EZ got into that president’s chair and Angel got the chance to raise Maverick, he was also changing.

“Angel…” solay started as she took in his appearance, she could tell that something was wrong, “what’s going on?”

Angel swallowed the lump in his throat and if Cane wasn’t in the room right now, he probably would have collapsed into Solay’s arms. She could see that, she could sense that. It was in his eyes, that he was hurting and sure way back when that might have gave Solay the tiniest bit of satisfaction but that’s not where they were now.

She was annoyed he stopped showing up to the sessions but brushed it off after awhile, saying that she “knew it,” up until Felipe was gunned down in Angel’s childhood home. There was always something going on with Angel and although they were trying to work on their relationship, Solay knew she couldn’t be selfish.

She didn’t have the heart to be.

Solay waved Angel in, despite the incredulous look Cane shot her way. She’s locking the door behind him and rests her hand on Angel’s lower back, which surprisingly makes him flinch as she does.

A brow raises at that but Solay says, “come into the living room.”

“Yeah okay…where’s Xavy?”

“Sleeping like yo ass should be.” Cane mutters, while Solay sends him a sharp look.

He places the lock back on the gun and puts it into the waist band of his basketball shorts, clasping his hands in front of him as he eyes Solay being so gentle with a dude that didn’t deserve it. Cane was heavy on that, “fuck the fact that he’s your baby’s father, after everything he put you through? Why are you still concerned when you knew he was gonna pull that shit? He doesn’t care about you like I do and I’m not even sure he gives that much of a fuck about Xavier.”

This was said after Angel stopped showing up to the sessions and Solay didn’t want to hear it. It didn’t feel like cane’s place—although she vented to him and he did the shit-talking to mainly make her feel better—and it also wasn’t angel’s place to feel a way about her seeing someone else.

Solay inhales as she sits on the coffee table, crossing one leg over the other as she takes in her ex-husband. He’s barely blinking as he stares off in space and Solay isn’t sure what to do about this.

“Talk to me,” she says bringing Angel’s dark eyes to meet her doe ones, “what happened?”

Angel places his lips against a sleeping Maverick’s temple that he cradles and then blows out a breath, “where do I start? Luisa’s gone, just buried my pops, now EZ’s dead—which I—I played a part in, I’m out the club and now I need you and Xavier to come with me to Arizona.”

Cane is laughing it up now while Solay is almost at a lost for words. She wasn’t surprised about Luisa but it would probably explain why Angel was checked out and why he moved in with Felipe. They haven’t really talked like they used to be able to do so hearing all of this—about what was going on in Angel’s world was a lot to process.

It always was.

“What do you mean…EZ’s dead?” Solay croaked out, shifting as she held out a hand to silence the man behind them.

Angel rubs at his exhausted face now, “The club found out…now it’s over. I buried him myself out on the road and I wish I never encouraged him to be in this shit you know? Maybe he’d still be here being a smart ass. My brother’s gone and I don’t got nothing left. This dried blood on my hands…it’s not worth it no more. Which is why I need you and Xavy to come with me before the feds come because I know they will. It’s only a matter of time.”

Solay searched Angel’s eyes and they held sincerity. It was all finally coming full circle now, what she’s been telling him for years…that the club’s brotherhood wouldn’t end well. Not when there was so much dirt, blood, lack of values, and deceit behind it. She had no issue speaking her peace on the club way back when (she also felt a way when she learned that EZ was getting involved fresh out of being locked up but angel didn’t want to hear that shit either) and sure she got along with some of the men there but it’s not like she was ever clueless to what it was. Solay was tired of constantly looking over her shoulder when it came to Angel’s club and that feeling never went away, even when she gave birth to their son and even when they were officially divorced. Everything was crumbling down around Angel and he was trying to get out for good.

“You want me to just pick everything up and follow you to Arizona?”

Angel dips his head, “yeah, it’ll be different this time. And I’m not saying let’s go off and get remarried or nothing like that but we could be something real. A family again.”

“Yeah a real fucked up one,” Cane comments, making Angel realize that he was in fact still in the room with them, “so let’s get this straight? Your daddy’s gone, that bitch you cheated with up and left your ass—which probably means she’s six feet under too—yeah I know exactly what she’s really into and it’s clear you’re too dumb to figure that out still, and now for a club to kill one of their own…it’s evident that your brother was some sort of snitch who got what was comin’ to him. But the ultimate disrespect is you coming back up in here with your tail in between your legs, thinking you can just take back what you lost long ago.”

“Listen man, you watch your damn mouth when it comes to my blood.” Angel points a warning finger at the man who chuckles; not the least bit threatened, “this is much bigger than your fucken ego. I’m looking out for Solay and our son, this don’t got shit to do with you. Never has. You can leave and go back to your own crooked shit in New York and leave Solay and my son out of it.”

Now isn’t that the coffee calling the kettle black?

Cane furrowed his brows, “Now you wanna win the father of the year award? You ain’t never been shit as far as I can tell and you’re never gonna be shit. Solay’s not going nowhere with you, she’s good on that.”

Solay got to her feet now as Angel glared at Cane who was all smirks, knowing he could get underneath the vulnerable older man’s skin so easily, “I’m going to need the both of you stop speaking for me.”

Both men kept their heated stares on each other but Cane couldn’t take Angel seriously with a child in his arms. The silence was weighing down the living room as Solay began to pace the floor. She didn’t know all of the details and didn’t think she would with Cane in the room. There was truth in his words when it came to the club—this Solay knew, although she was always on the outside when it came to anything revolving around the Mayans.

“Cane…I need a minute.”

“Aight, let’s go.” Cane was ready to lead the way back to the bedroom with a nod of his head in the direction of the room but a shake of Solay’s head had him confused.

Solay met Cane’s hooded eyes, “with Angel, alone.”

“I know you’re not considering leaving with this clown, So.”

Angel shrugged his shoulders, “It shouldn’t matter to you no way, the only reason you still stuck around is to get some product right? Now that that’s gone—you don’t need me or Solay. So maybe you should start saying your goodbyes now.”

Which provoked cane to whip out the gun again, until Solay reached for his wrist, making cane glance at her, ready to shove her hand off but he moved his stare back to Angel who had a sly smirk on the corner of his own lips.

“You act like you’re the only one I can do business with.” Cane tightened his stare, “Heroin ain’t really my lane but I thought why not since I’m here? You fucked that up like you constantly do and there you go again assuming shit about my relationship with Solay and you don’t know the first thing about it.”

Angel lifted his shoulders, “I know you ain’t no better than me and you don’t really care about Solay as much as you claim you do. It’s all a game but the difference is I’m always gonna be around, you on the other hand are disposable and I’mma always have my son’s best interest at heart. Solay’s the bonus.”

Cane rolled his eyes, “Let me find you a gold sticker for your forehead—

“ENOUGH!” Solay screams at the both of them, carefully peaking over at the sleeping baby afterwards,“this back and forth is getting on my nerves. Let me think in peace for a little bit, just go Cane.”

She orders.

Cane kisses his teeth and walked off, knowing that it was best before he might actually let some bullets fly.

Solay massaged the space in between her thin brows as her mind began spinning. She thought about all the bad the club brought to her front door and she was just leveling up without it.

So it seemed.

Now here Angel, a man she used to be in love with, a troubled man she wanted to spend forever with once upon a time, the man she shared a child with, was here telling her he was out. Out of the club, something she wanted for years for him because she knew that club wasn’t his purpose. He didn’t see it then but he saw it now. Solay’s faced a lot when it came to the club, with Angel’s disappearing for days at a time making her believe one of those days he wouldn’t come home to her, quality time being cancelled so he could be more dedicated to that club instead, cleaning up his wounds due to all sorts of danger he was involved in, he fucked those bartending bitches behind her back while some of those men smiled in her face knowing his dirt, to having a false sense of protection that led to being tied up, beat on so bad and left alone in a burning building years ago—which she just finished paying off a hospital bill for.

All of those instances let Solay know that The Mayans weren’t some saints by any means but Solay knew Angel loved that brotherhood once upon a time. He was slowly changing and morphing into something else—maybe something better—over these last couple of years but Solay figured that’s what happens when on-going lost comes your way. Gives you a bit of a wake up call and proud wasnt the word she would ever use (everyone that he lost still mattered to her as well) but it was about damn time.

It’s just unfournate how it all played out and there was so much to weigh out here. Solay knew she and Xavier would probably be harassed despite Angel being officially out of the Mayans. The war doesn’t just end and given what state Angel was in—numb yet determined, sitting in her living room clenching onto Maverick, Solay knew this war would just brew many more.

She would be affiliated no matter what and so would their son and so would Mavy—if not more thanks to who his mother is or was. This would always be Angel’s doing and she wasn’t blaming him, that wouldn’t get her anywhere she realized but it was a fact. She was with Angel right when the club was just an idea, a one night stand which later turned serious not long after he got patched in, back when he and Coco just moved into the Azure apartment complexes. The Mayans ripped through Angel, that much she could tell and many in her position would jump at the chance to shout at him, “I told your ass!”

Except Solay closed her eyes and took a deep inhale, rolling the tension out of her shoulders before she met Angel’s stare.

“Tell me all of it but take it easy when it comes to…Ezekiel.” She tells Angel, feeling a twing in her own chest at the thought of the brother she couldn’t save.

Angel held his ex-wife’s stare and inhaled a shaky breath, “…alright.”

Life in the desert was not something Solay thought she would ever be part of. She immediately thought of dry skin 24/7 when she had combo skin. Yes there were deserts back home but at least there was a downtown area that wasn’t far from her home. This transition was certainly just that. She’s in the kitchen in a daze, the southwest home is quiet in her mind as she’s drying the last dish. Her eyes are set on the two square windows by the dining table off to the side of the strangely shaped kitchen, back pressed into the kitchen sink.

It’s a early Monday afternoon, September just hit the calendar and she’s lost track of time. A hand catches her off guard as they tug on the belt hoops of her Jean skirt, making her gaze turn down to her seven year old who’s peering up at her with her mirrored doe-shaped eyes and his father’s nose.

“We’re back from the pool, mommy!” Xavier signs as Solay smiles sweetly at him, hand going around his shoulders to squeeze him to her hips.

She didn’t even pick up on him entering the sliding doors by the dining room, her mind elsewhere.

Labor Day came around much quicker than expected and they had their little celebration that Sunday but Xavier seemed to love the water and couldn’t get enough. Which means Angel was on duty for taking him and Maverick to the pool out back while Solay did a few minor things for work online and cleaned up the lunch angel ordered.

Solay signs, “Did you have fun?”

“Always!” Xavier laughs with a nod of his head.

“Good, let’s get you cleaned up.”

The boy groans as Solay gives him a stern look while he spins on his damp heels before stomping out the kitchen and headed towards his room.

Solay lightly laughs with a shake of her head.

“Xavy pouting about clean up time again?”

“Yeah the usual,” solay shrugs as the man makes his way over to her while she reaches to brush a wet strand of a two year old Maverick’s hair back, “everything go alright out there?”

Angel bends to put Maverick on his feet, the little man taking off on his chubby feet to find his big brother, “yeah, why wouldn’t it be? It’s hot as shit out there though. Isn’t autumn supposed to be here by now?”

“We just touched September,” Solay states kind of ignoring the question he asked back, “and you’re the one who picked Arizona, not me.”

Angel lifts his chin, “you could have talked me out of it though.”

“You don’t listen to nobody but your own big ass head.”

Angel shrugged as he leaned his elbows back on the dark wooded island that was rolled and locked in place on a angle in the kitchen, “seriously though, I’ve seen you in here looking like you’re off in space and shit. You sure you’re alright?”

Ever since Solay made the decision to be here with Angel, Maverick, and Xavier, Angel always made it his task to question how she was holding up. Like it was devastating or like she had regrets being here but that’s not truly how she felt. She wasn’t sure how she felt, Solay couldn’t really explain it. She just knows she feels something unsettling often. After Angel told her the truth back in her old stucco home in Santo Padre, she knew getting the hell out of dodge was also the best option.

They weren’t together but they found a new therapist and communicated much better. Angel worked two jobs, first considering a semi-truck driving job but declined once he knew how much hours he would have to put in and how long he would be away from his family. He was persistent on turning over a new leaf. Of course he still had scraps of his own money and Luisa’s blood money but he promised Solay that he wouldn’t use that money when it came to renting their home. He could do whatever he wanted with it but not when it came to their new home or Xavier. So he worked as a custodian at a middle school full-time and a delivery driver on Friday and most Saturday nights.

Solay signed over the building to her second in command at her shop to continue running her business in Santo Padre and if she wished to turn it into her own, she could. Solay was expecting and waiting for the day that would happen. Her main focus was running her e-commerce shop for her beauty line which continued to be successful and having her products distributed in over seven spas in the major cities of Arizona. She was still doing well and adapted to the new setting although her family was very vocal on this big leap.

Her dad still wasn’t vibing with Angel like that after all these years and knew from the jump that he continued to get his daughter into some mess. It really wasn’t like that but a father always knows and he had no problem booking flights with his ex wife, Solay’s mother to vacation in this hot ass desert right at their house. Her big sister on the other hand? She made it routine to talk to Solay and her nephew, Xavier almost every day.

In a way having Solay’s family around a few times out of the year kinda made him forget missing his own. Almost. Even when he was got in disagreements with Solay’s opinionated father. He could laugh about it once he dropped them off at the airport and brush off the touch of overbearingness because that’s just how Solay’s family was.

He was still down to go to the end of the earth with her as he eyed her in a new light now. Part of him expected Solay to just kick him out that night and keep him away from Xavier. Instead he gave her the littlest bit of time to decide, on his terms and even though everything seemed to be moving rapidly to him, he understood that Solay didn’t operate like that. Things could be drippy when this type of news was delivered and felt overwhelming. She had to sit with all the information Angel gave her, then analyze it all and take Xavier into account before moving forward.

Maybe this was just what they needed, a change of scenery, away from the Mayans and what that town brought into their lives. It wasn’t perfect by any means but life was much more slow-paced now. Initially this is what Solay wanted, a soft girl era but there was always this haunting feeling that shifted from her chest down to her gut.

“Do I?” She asked, snapping out of it.

Angel started tossing a plum up into the air, “don’t know if you notice but you just did it again. Felt like twelve hours later that you answered me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you mean it though?”

“What?”

“You’d tell me if something is wrong right? If you don’t want to do this anymore—

“Shush. It’s not ideal but it works for now.”

Angel dipped his head at this. He was very much aware that Solay could run off into the night if she truly wanted to but she was also invested in beating the odds. She wanted a stable home for their son. It made sense to Angel and knew it didn’t to anybody else and sure it was rocky at first with Xavier having trouble adjusting to the new environment—which kicked mama bear Solay in play, who had no issue telling administrators to be more accommodating to those with special needs (there was a serious lack of specific hearing impaired schools in small towns like this and santo padre but at least back home there was one educator that was also an interpreter) —Angel had to hide the chairs let’s just say that and Angel also had no issue telling the kid that picked on Xavy that he’d “fuck him up,” which the kid repeated but his own parents didn’t believe that surprisingly.

Probably because the wife and her husband had their eyes on angel. Solay was completely convinced that they were swingers but Angel laughed it off until his ass got squeezed by one of them at a third meeting.

“Alright then…wanna talk about that date with the firefighter?”

Solay scowled, “it wasn’t a date.”

“You went to a cooking class together this time around and a escape room before that, which he had a advantage to considering his job by the way. I’d say it’s a date, why are you being so weird about it?” Angel’s tossing the fruit up in the air but frowning over at the woman.

Solay scratches at her scalp above her scarf in irritation before moving to leave the kitchen and entered the living room that’s right next to it, “i’m not being weird about it. I just don’t think I need to talk to you about it.”

“Why not? I’m not feelin’ no type of way about it if that’s what you’re thinking. are we not besties now?” Angel followed after Solay who flicked the reruns of a talk-show off.

Solay scoffed as she looked over at angel in disbelief, “we’re roomies at best.”

“Exactly, besties.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I think it would help Edgar sleep better at night if you just admit yall are going on dates.” Angel teased as he leaned towards Solay who gave him the hand on her way by.

“That’s not even his name!”

Angel called out to her, “I know it starts with an E though. I gotta be close.”

“Eddie.” Solay told him, “Short for Edmundo and that’s all I’m gonna say about him to you.”

“Edmundo? Awl shit, you got a type!”

“Shut the hell—I’m gonna tend to the kids.”

“Yeah uh huh, you can get away from this conversation now but I’ll just ease drop some more when you’re gossiping about ‘im when you’re on the phone with big sis.” Angel commented as Solay rolled her eyes and made her exit.

If you asked solay she would say Angel’s the one being weird about this. It’s been two years since they left and Angel was keen on seeing solay get back out there and find her perfect match or whatever. He seemed to be more for it than Solay herself. She wasn’t really searching when Eddie came along in a bar (with a few others) she was having dinner solo in and she definitely brought it up to their therapist, who said it was Angel’s way of trying to make up for the unhappiness he brought her.

Still that was more weird than them living in a house together raising their sons in Solay’s eyes. A more normal reaction would be Angel grilling the casual dates Solay went on but now he was ready to hear how it was going and when he would meet them. Solay’s only been on two dates with Eddie and he was a complete gentleman, had a excellent job, a bit dorky and nervous? which gave Solay the indication that he did like her a little bit when he stumbled over his words asking her out for the first time but knew how to keep a conversation going, it was easy flowing. Almost too easy and Solay wasn’t used to easy.

At all.

She’s helping an annoyed Xavier with a Luke-temp bath, putting her thoughts on mute after hearing Angel tend to Maverick in Xavier’s room, coming up with all sorts of sound effects as if they were pilots (she thinks) since Maverick seemed to enjoy airplanes.

“Mom,” Xavier gets Solay’s attention again, sticking his finger into her nostril.

She flinched back making the boy laugh in her expense while she shook her head at him with a disapproving smile. He’s pointing behind her at the counter and Solay turns as she sits on the closed lid, reaching for her vibrating phone, which shows its her old employee calling her.

“Hey Idil, I know you’re not working on the holiday?” Solay greets after putting the call on speaker.

There’s loud shuffling on the line, which makes solay furrow her brows a bit as she turns back to the phone, “Idil?”

“Sup, so. You miss me?”

Solay pauses as she picks up on the familiar voice, “…Cane…what’re you doing?”

“Business. That’s all I’m good for right?”

Things didn’t end the best with Cane as to be expected when Solay told him what she planned on doing. Which included putting the house on the market, packing up half of her things, having some of it shipped out, leaving a small portion to sell with the house, discussing the way her business would be ran in Idil’s hands abruptly, and most importantly leaving Cane behind. She learned all about him showing up to Angel’s house with his little brother Dru, threatening him to stay away from Solay and to see how they can get in on Ez’s supply of heroin to move a percentage of the product in New York. Cane heard about the new president from word of mouth on the streets but he was the first to actually take the trip and do something about it.

Solay came into sight and he got a little distracted but when cane learned her background, he was close enough to get that connect but he also found fun in getting on Angel’s nerves. Which left Solay to question if any of it was real, she was tired of men taking for her weak when she opened up her heart to them which is why she was a little emotionally cut off—so she thought but she was always passionate or sensitive—depends who you ask.

“What do you want?”

Cane huffed, “how you know I ain’t just supporting a black owned business? What if I want to keep my skin looking like a Hershey’s kiss?”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“Yeah but you had enough time to fuck off with Antonio banderas and kick me to the curb though.”

“You sound pressed.”

“Nah, I handle shit.”

“And what do you mean by that?” Solay’s eyes were in slits now, “you know what? Don’t answer that. I don’t want anything else to do with your bullshit.”

“Why not? We had a good time together don’t you think?”

“I’d Rather not reminisce about the past.”

“See, I find that hard to believe. You in that clay box ass house with a nobody raising his kids, one of those kids that’s a product of him not being loyal to you. Not loving you. Like you ain’t shit to him, he treated you like you were temporary. Which is something I would have never done to you but you’re too blinded by him for whatever reason. Sounds like you ran right back to the past because you’re scared of something real.”

Solay cackles as Cane voices his thoughts to her, like he just read her. “Scared, maybe? Real? That’s unlikely with you. You didn’t step into what we had as a forever type of thing, it was all lies on your part too. All the red flags were right in front of my face and I don’t know how you don’t get that you’re no better, Cane. I know one things for sure, I wasn’t ever afraid to lose you, so stay the fuck off my line.”

With that she ended the call and only imagined he was probably screwing somebody in the shop now if he wasn’t running product through it. Idil couldn’t be that fooled or backstabbing right? She knew how cane operated and it’s been silent for two years now, not hearing from him and her accepting that most of it was probably not genuine was just Cane trying to get ahead.

Solay was over these men trying to get the best of her when she felt like didn’t deserve this. She was knocked off her path moving to Arizona but perhaps this was part of her healing. At least that’s one way she tried to look at it, putting boundaries up and vowing that she didn’t see being in a romantic relationship again with Angel Reyes. What she saw was: she needed to move on from all the hurt, find happiness behind the success and continue being a good mom to Xavier.

Solay was done with the drama.

“Soso, everything good?” Angel called from behind the door.

Solay had her eyes trained on Xavier, her hand resting on his coarse damp hair. She calls back out to Angel, “yup, all good. Hey, what do you think about taking the RV out for a ride a little later? Go sight seeing.”

“Fucken finally!” Angel cheered from behind the door while a small smile appeared on her lips, “I’m driving though.”

That’s right, Angel made the purchase of a RV for the hell of it last summer while Solay looked at it as a possible exit plan. Did Angel know that? No but she planned on telling him at some point. Did she need to jump ship just yet now that it’s been brought to her attention that cane was still keeping tabs on her? Maybe so but for now she just wanted to enjoy this holiday.

She’s on autopilot as she’s getting Xavier dressed into some lounge clothes that would be suitable for their outing later. After finishing twirling his coils, she sends him off to run to where Maverick and Angel are horsing around—easily joining in on their fun. Solay stands in the doorway, arms lightly folded as she watches them bond with each other, like a family should.

This time it felt like it was time to stop catering to everyone else’s needs always first yet that could be dangerous if you didn’t have balance but Solay was ready for something more. No one was going to get in the way of that, she vowed. She deserved to have genuine joy that didn’t end with her crying herself to sleep at night. That didn’t mean to find that in someone else because you’ll be dependent on that person always and that’s not something she wanted to do anymore, be dependent on anyone else for love, this she learned in therapy but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy the company of a certain firefighter if she got out of her own way.

She should text Eddie back.

A lot can happen in two years and her attitude shifted being in the same space as Angel again. It wasn’t necessarily intentional in the beginning it’s just that it was always something with him. Now it didn’t feel like she was simply tolerating him anymore, no it wasn’t all sparkles and sunshine either in this present time but the bad moods stopped being constant. Solay’s mind was always on the move and being someplace else away from her main family, gave her the chance to really sit with her emotions and that brought up a lot some days.

She had to learn that her life wasn’t some play in a dream land or that she was out in the audience watching, like this was euphoria or anything along those lines.

This was actually her life and as she watched a tatted shirtless Angel settle into his newfound life with his boys, warm smiles and head thrown back while he silently laughed as he interacted with both boys in harmony, Solay let a smile of her own split onto her face.

It’s after 3PM when the family of four make their way out into the Arizonan heat that’s good at sending people to do a quick face plant. Solay’s checked the weather every hour before they deemed that now was a good time to go out, the temperature only went down four degrees which absolutely didn’t feel like much as she held Maverick’s little hand and Angel led the way while Xavier ran from his side and up ahead.

Forgetting something in the house, she tells Angel as he’s standing at the dining table inside the cool RV while the boys sit side by side.

“C’mon so!” Angel groaned, “We’re just going on a thirty minute drive and coming straight back, you tryin’ to take the whole house?”

Solay raises a finger in the air as she’s going down the steps, “better to be prepared than not to be if we get stranded.”

“Don’t put that kinda energy out there, cariño.”

“I’m just saying.”

“You’re starting to sound like your mother.”

“Run that by me again?”

“Nothing. Go head.” Angel fanned his ring covered hand at the arched brow Solay sent his way.

He then snickered down at the boys who watched their interaction as he spoke and signed, “Joking,” to Xavier and Maverick.

The heat blew across her skin as she peered down at her phone, house keys swinging on her finger until she stopped in her tracks, looking up and over at the two young figures standing before her.

“You must be Tariq and…”

“Oh, I’m Brayden!” The blond boy on his right beamed with a hand pressed to his chest in greeting, making the taller of the two cut his eyes at him.

Brayden shrugged innocently at the look Tariq sent him while Solay let out a sigh and placed her phone into the back pocket of her Jean skirt.

“You don’t seem surprised to see us.” Tariq noted while Solay held out her hands.

“Not really, when you get older it’s always something. So…what’s the plan here boys?” Solay moved her hand to press against her forehead, blocking out the scorching sunrays.

The two share a look with each other while Solay awaited for them to spit it out. They were here for a reason and Solay was open to hearing them out since they came all this way after all but it’s not like she wanted to be wrapped up in their bullshit either.

They just met and she really owed them nothing.

“Do you know a Don? Don Carter.” Tariq starts and he picks up on the expression on Solay’s face.

She doesn’t say anything but Tariq picked up the expression on her face much faster than Brayden could register it.

“He’s this detective who’s wife got killed years ago and he was never able to solve the case. We have proof that shows Cane pulled the trigger that killed her and we need your help to get him out the way or else our asses are done for.” Brayden added.

Solay answered, “Detective Don Carter is my cousin.”

“I knew it.” Tariq smiled as if this solved his problem, “if we hand him the truth and you lure Cane back here, we can either take him out or Don can do whatever he needs to: throw his ass in jail or take him out himself. Whoever gets to him first besides you.”

Brayden brushed off his shoulders before the teens gave each other dap, “Yeah, team work baby!”

Solay shushed them, making the smiles wipe right off their faces, “what makes you think I want to be involved with Cane again? I’ve moved on, whatever else he’s got going on doesn’t have a thing to do with me if you haven’t noticed.”

“That’s not true though,” Tariq frowned, “you know he’s obsessed with you more than he’s on my shit and that’s saying a lot. He’s gonna disrupt whatever you got going on until he wins.”

‘What exactly does he think he’s going to win?’ Solay thought to herself as she tilts her head to the side at the teen’s words, Tariq would know that side of Cane since that’s not the side she got to see but he did fool her before.

“So the plan is: you want me to trap him for your sake? Which again, doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“Yours too. He did you dirty, right? Aren’t you sick of him because I sure am.” Brayden asks, making Solay cross her arms.

“That’s my cousin’s business not mine.” Solay almost sasses, “I’m on a clean slate this time, I’m just trying to be a mother and be a legal business owner, no more dealing with men that have bad shit attached to them. take that shit to Don and leave me out of it. I heard he moved out to New york.”

“Well…” Brayden sucks air between his teeth with a wince.

Tariq states, “we can’t go back to the city just yet.”

“Why not?”

“Cane’s stupid ass, the rest of the tejada’s, and Effie set me up that’s why!” Tariq was heated, rightfully so.

“I tried to take him out but I guess that wasn’t enough to be fatal,” Brayden is apologetic but Tariq just dips his head in thanks, a silent understanding passing between the two boys.

“Wait…you shot Cane? He just called—nope.” Solay begins walking by the boys, done with the conversation while shuffling her keys as she heads back to the house, kicking up dirt while she went.

The boys were pleading as they followed after the older woman but she was not trying to hear anymore.

“Hey!” Angel called out to the trio, making both Tariq and Brayden whip around to face the mustache wearing man who stood on the steps of the RV, shotgun aimed right in their direction.

“Shit, shit! Don’t shoot us man, we really come in peace!”

“Shut up, Brayden.”

“Angel,” Solay calls from the path of the doorway and gives him a shake of her head to tell him not to pull that trigger.

Solay takes her eyes off Angel and says to the boys, “wait here, preferably away from my ex-husband’s eyesight.”

“No problem! You got it!” Brayden disappears, hiding behind the southwest exterior while Tariq holds Angel’s stare who turns them into slits, “what’re you doing, riq? Didn’t you say he’s in a motorcycle club? those motherfuckers get rowdy.”

“Nah, he was. Then he disappeared. He might be our answer too.”

The door slams shut behind them, making the teens turn back to Solay who’s locking up the home while carrying what appears to be a trinket box. She meets their stare as she steps down onto the dirt and nods her head, “follow me.”

“Not if you’re gonna have that guy kill us!”

“Nobody’s dying,” Solay says over her shoulder as she leads the way back to Angel, “my kids are inside the RV.”

Brayden let’s out a whistle of relief as Solay steps up to Angel, reaching up to lower the gun down, her eyes saying something which gets him to put the safety on lock.

“This is Tariq and Brayden,” Solay let’s Angel know as they make their way into the RV, making the man let out a groan of annoyance.

“Our kids are here and it’s a holiday, why are you two pulling up now?”

Tariq presses his elbows into his knees after taking a seat on the couch parallel to where the two kids sit, “To get rid of your remaining problem: Cane Tejada.”

“Oh…the fucken bed bug.” Angel rubs at his face in irritation while Brayden snorts at the insult.

Solay cut her eyes at him, motioning to their kids, leaving the man to hold his hands up in surrender and then sticks his tongue out at Maverick who looks his way. Solay places the headphones onto the toddler’s ears and gently rubs Xavier’s shoulders, although he’s too involved in his tablet to care about the new guests.

Tariq and Brayden give the same rundown they just gave Solay and Angel listens carefully. He rubs at his face in thought over this, on one instance this could go in their favor but on the other hand it could also go very wrong. It became knowledge to Angel that Cane was still keeping tabs on them and that didn’t sit right with him. This means they never knew what he would do or when he would do it, he was always unpredictable like that and the last thing Angel wanted was Cane messing up what he and Solay came so far to have together.

This was the first time Angel got to really start over and he knew from the beginning that Cane was not the one for Solay. Standing here now just proves that.

“We know a guy that can probably help you guys more than we can,” Angel says after a moment, his eyes meeting Solay’s as she nods her head also thinking the same thing.

Solay doesn’t say more as Angel moves to the driver seat, leaving her to tap and motion for Xavier to slide over before she reaches over to hold Maverick in the safety of her arms.

Brayden’s more antsy than Tariq is, who seems to have this calm but cautious demeanor analyzing everything around them just in case they needed to flee from the RV. His guard was secretly up but he did his research, he found out what Cane’s plan was coming out to California but wouldn’t realize how this would backfire on him.

Tariq didn’t care to know the full details on Cane’s fraudulent relationship with the braided woman but he could see the appeal in Solay. With the way she moved on her own, with Angel and interacted with the kids, there was power in her soothing aura. Tariq could tell that she was over it though and that she’s also been through some shit but if she wanted to fully dead the situation, she would even if that meant she didn’t have to get her hands dirty herself.

The drive from the desert into the Mountain View and ramps was not what Tariq was really used to on a daily but the ride was long enough. Angel’s soon pulling up on the side of the road before shutting the engine off.

“We’re here,” Angel says through the rear view mirror before unbuckling his seatbelt.

Solay looks in his direction before turning to the two boys, “before you ask, there’s a pay phone up ahead and you’re going to take this number and let him know that Majesty and Sunny sent you.”

Tariq takes the slip of paper from Solay who rocks Maverick on her lap, “How do we know you’re not setting us up?”

“You don’t.” Angel calls out while Solay blinks.

She shrugs, “that’s not the life we live anymore but if it’s to get the bad off our backs…hopefully this will be worth it.”

“Are you sure this guy will help us?”

“His ass is always into something despite the fact that he should be dead with the rest but I know he’s been itching to get into it. To get his hands on something again…he’s a dumbass just like you two.” Angel fills the two in while they share a look, unsure but knew they didn’t have much else to lose.

They didn’t have many on their side right now.

Solay chipped in as she rests her chin on top of Mavy’s dark hair, “And just like you used to be.”

“That’s before I became a dad.”

Solay hummed in disbelief.

“Alright before i became a better one!”

Tariq got to his feet now while the pair smiled at each other from across the vehicle, “aight thanks for looking out.”

“Sure…but promise me this will be the last time we see you.”

Brayden glanced at Tariq who stood by the stairs, “as long as this guy comes through.”

Solay tunes that response out.

“Uh wait, how do we know it’s him?” Brayden asks as Tariq heads towards the door but also pauses on the last step.

“…he goes by Guero.” Angel says as Tariq repeats the name with a nod of his head before pushing the door open.

Once both boys are off the RV and shut the door closed, Angel starts the engine again and pulls off leaving the boys behind to their own disarray.

Solay turns with one arm to pull Xavier to rest against her chest, her attention turning to the blur of trees lingering in the now partly cloudy sky, lost in the silence that she welcomes again while Angel briefly glances at the sight of her in the rear view, just wondering what’s going on inside of that head of her’s.

He hoped it was tranquility just like he was searching for within himself.

ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *ੈ ╭──╯ . . . *

Continue along with my September anthology prompts here.

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drifloonz · 1 month

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Omg hi! I very recently got REALLY into Strangled Red so finding your writing for it was such a nice surprise, it's feeding my hyperfixation for this man so well. I love how you write and portray him especially since I'm a sucker for character phycology. If you're still up for it, could you maybe give some headcannons for Steven reacting to the s/o reader being hit on and not being into it? I just think it has nice writing potential and I'm a sucker for jealousy/possessiveness and overprotectiveness when the character has good reason to be. If you don't feel up for it I completely understand that, and just know that I've loved all the writing you've done so far! :)

ty sm.. i fucking love Analyzing steven hes like a petri dish algae or something that im putting under a microscope. he means so much to me and i love picking him apart like the little freak [lovingly] that he is.

i am very glad i make ppl think of him and give ppl food that is my Goal . Give people good steven food. steven food makes it sound like stevens a creature u need to feed. thats s!3v3n not steven /j

ALSO SAME HERE i love jealousy and possessiveness and being overprotective within like. Normal means. Maybe its bc i have bpd idk but i also like when ppl are jealous in regards to me or clingy... makes you feel important sometimes and thats nice to some people including me hehehe.

anyways !!

jealous steven x s/o reader!

♡ steven's not one for going out with you - he prefers to rot in his house. it's awful, but, at least you visit him and are there with him a lot of the time. or he's with you in your house rotting a little less. either or is fine to him.

♡ although, recently he's been trying more. maybe you have a job and he likes to visit you because he gets lonely - he's not all too dissimilar to a growlithe or a clingy litten waiting for their owner to get home. except he's a grown ass 6-or-7' man that tends to intimidate everyone just by being around, so how clingy he is sometimes is kind of jarring. gap moe.

♡ or maybe you just go out a lot and he likes to tag along, because well. he likes you. and you're probably dating?

♡ .. and because he's scared that something will happen to you when he's not around.

♡ . . . he won't admit that part, though.

♡ he'll often be overaffectionate when and if you visit him when you haven't for a while, too. clingy overaffectionate. lots of cuddling and silent affection from the big guy.

♡ he especially doesn't like thinking about the fact that other people can possibly see you and have less than great thoughts about you or possibly be making passes at you when he's not there - you're his, dammit. ... and he's all yours, not like anyone else is competing for him these days.

♡ so when he is there, and when someone does, and has the balls to do it around or in front of him?

♡ well. probably when he's around but not immediately close to you. and as such...

♡ he'll probably stand up if he overhears it / sees it, or just thinks anybody's being just a biiiit too friendly with you. goes behind you, maybe while you're still talking to the person, busy and unaware that he's Approaching.

♡ he's so tall the shadow of his figure looms over the person who even dared to try.

♡ he'll just glare at them, until they fuck off. honest to god. he hates talking to people, especially strangers, and his resting neutral face being turned into slightly more of a resting bitch face sends the message better than anything he could say ever would.

♡ he can look scarier if he wants to, maybe make his eyes glow red and give a bit more of a snarl - but just his resting face seems to scare people off real easily. good. he doesn't want to put in too much effort- plus, it might look wrong, or odd. him emoting in any good or bad way more than his usual resting face tends to look weird. he has no idea how he used to do it so much more when he was younger ... ( HE'S SUCH A FUCKING LOSERRRR . sorry continue on . )

♡ and after the fact - or if they somehow don't get the memo from that - he'll try harder.

♡ some possessive touches - a squeeze of the hand, pulling you closer to him, maybe resting his hands on your hips or shoulder - maybe even his head resting on your head... anything that silently tells other people that you two have something deeper going on.

♡ he doesn't want to actively scare them off. it'd cause a scene, and steven already hates being in public and around people as much as it is, especially because he can feel everyones eyes always on him like he's some freak. which he is, but ... it makes him feel Some sort of way. reminds him of how everyone stared at him, almost as if he was some laughingstock of kanto, when miki had-

he can't keep thinking about this. something'll happen. he doesn't want to get like that in public again, ever.

♡ anyways.

♡ even if the person already left, steven will be quick to make it clear to everyone else and you that you two are an item. he doesn't want anyone else to look at you or talk to you in that way.

♡ ... he doesn't want to lose you. you're about all he has these days, and he doesn't think he's the best choice of a boyfriend or even anyone you should be dating at all - always scared he'll do or say something. always scared of what he did back then coming back to haunt him, always feeling guilty and like you should know about the things he did. he thinks he's awful, honestly. he keeps things from you, and things you should probably know. he's not the greatest person.

♡ steven could go on and on in his head about why you should not be dating him of all people - you're so beautiful, too. you deserve better, to have anyone you want.

♡ but you are dating him. and he's happy. happier than he's ever been, and he feels loved, and lucky - but also scared. he has something to lose, again. and he's terrified.

♡ so he has to work to show you that he loves you. cherishes you more than the world. this is just one of those small ways he does it, even if in an odd way and due to him being possessive and clingy. but he's like that for a very good reason.

♡ because you're everything to him.

♡ sometimes he's glad that people are scared of him. he can protect you that way. even if he can never fully integrate back to society - not that he ever even fucking wants to - he can at least be around you.

♡ you joke about him being like your personal bodyguard sometimes.

♡ there's a faint smile when he hears that.

i hope u enjoyed i went kind of crazy. I think about how much he'd be scared to be dating someone again sssoooo badly LIKE HE HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE AGAIN. HE'S TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU TO SOMETHING HE CAN'T CONTROL!! like. Especially death or some freak accident like with miki and mike but from also, just not being good enough, being a bad partner, someone charming you more than him... etc. this all comes to a head in how clingy and possessive he is.

He has no idea how he'd deal with it either and doesn't even want to think ab it because if he did he'd tweak ( go s!3v3nmode and lock himself in his room about it. )

he will Not lose you because he cannot fucking lose you and if it means being a fucking loser and getting protective of you if anyone even so much as tries to flirt with you, then so be it.

I LOVE EXPLORING THIS SIDE OF HIM. HE'S NOT A YANDERE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE JUST HAS INSAAANE ISSUES. TRAUMA. PTSD. AND BPD. and also Really bad paranoia. Probably some other shit too maybe ocd fuck if i know He doesnt know either but basically he has. Issues. and doesnt know how to handle them esp since hes been isolated so hes Working on it. Kind of.

ty for requesting ^-^ its good to get in the writing groove again. altho my keyboard feels a little weird and wacky which doesnt help and i Should clean it but thank god i can type properly again.

#wispy writes #steven strangled red #steven strangled red x reader #strangled red x reader

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dandansposts · 2 years

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I am intrigued by DID Vergil, do share

infodump below the cut i will try to cut it up correctly so it is readable.

i am like VIBRATING so here you Go anon

canonical facts!

both vergil and dante have some pretty obvious and pretty intense childhood trauma.

when wrenching himself into pieces cuz he has issues and problems, Not Only does vergil split a human and a demon half, he splits several other independent beings as well. these are explained away as nightmares or whatever in text, it's not super clear what they are, but they're manifestations of his trauma In Some Way

in visions of v theres an extra "nightmare" v doesn't pick up, but we aren't talking about that.

it's clear, i think, that the nightmares exist because he's trying to rid himself of weakness and fear is a very human weakness, but i honestly think it makes more sense looking at the character and all his associated parts thru the lens of DID.

lets get into it shall we

basic premise without all of my headcanons and nonsense is this: vergil has DID as a result of, yk, Childhood Trauma. 'urizen', v, griffon, shadow, and nightmare are all individual alters.

alter roles are reductionist and ignore each alters capacity for the individual, but they're helpful in terms of describibg what each alter does for the group, so i'll be using some here. i'm also going to get into origins of each alter according to me and how they work/don't work together as a person.

urizen

in my own writing i tend to split urizen further into vergil and nelo angelo, but the distinction isn't overly important. the main take away here is this is the alter who considers himself To Be Vergil. as in, this is the guy who IDs most closely with their body.

i like to further break that down and have vergil ID more closely with the way their human form looks (as much as he hates that), and nelo angelo identifying more with their demon form for elaborate worldbuildy reasons, but the takeaway is that this is the guy who looks in the mirror and goes "that's me". this is our power hungry little bastard who'd rather raise a giant demon tower or plant a huge horrible demon tree than be vulnerable. the motherfucker who would rather cleave himself into 5 than admit to being weak. this bitch. this horrible little man whom i like SOOOOO much.

once again in my writing i like to change stuff and the main thing i like to change is like after eva dies i send 8 year old vergil to hell for a decade, give or take (just for fun), and as a consequence of this and being in hell for so long both then and just in his life, he doesn't speak any human language very well. he's fluent, and he understands perfectly, his words just come out clunky and foreign

(not relevant, but i headcanon dante the same but opposite, where hes fluent in infernal but way more comfortable speaking human languages, and his infenal would come out super clunky. consequently as adults, they talk to each other in a super messed up mix of infernal and whatever human language they speak that is largely incomprehensible unless you speak both languages)

enough of my headcanons Next Alter

edit; i'm returning to this after most of my section about v; vergil considers the yamato to Be His more than it being a shared object; he feels he has some more claim to it than everyone else.

edit 2; vergil follows regular dmc lore and fully believes eva abandoned him

in terms of the DID ~*~experience~*~ v would be a common fronter if not a former host personality.

you'll have to forgive me here since i headcanon v as nonbinary so very aggressively that referring to them as "he" is physically painful. i will do this again later with shadow and nightmare. i am not sorry. v they/them.

v is the magic bitch. v's the one with the flair for demon magic. the one who at the very least came up with a lot of the weird silly tricks they all do with summoning swords and other things. they are far from the only one who uses their abilities, but they might add flourishes the others don't or experiment in ways the others aren't entirely comfortable with. like, vergil's moveset over the games stays basically the same minus a few things, but those few things, which tend to be little flourishes, would be largely stuff v came up with.

v also considers the book to be Theirs, rather than the entire system's. for more elaborate worldbuilding reasons, in my writing, v also considers nero to be Their Son rather than the whole system's son, or at least they feel they have some higher claim to him than everyone else, both of these things being a major source of strife.

as a departure from textual vergil, v has a much softer view of eva, and therefore has a much more concrete connection to their humanity than any other alter, hence v being the only human and only other proper humanoid besides urizen out of the 5 of them.

notably, when all in their body rather than cleaved in 2 by vergils special magic sword, v has bad posture. this is their main tell aside from the ease w/ which they speak human language. (sounds sort of academic and mispronounces words a lot as a result of having read but never spoken them)

griffon

now. this little bitch is my favorite and i am going to get SOOOOO into him. griffon's a protector of sorts, right, but he absolutely didn't start out that way.

according to me, he was, initially, an introject of dante. he's their brain flipping the absplute fuck out after they lost what was left of their family, and producing an internalized version of their twin to cope.

he's goofy, he deflects with humor, he bullies affectionately, these are traits he shares with dante in spades. there is definitely more, but those are the things that initially made me decide this.

as they grow up and mature and change and, y'know, find out firstly that dante is Alive, and griffon has to grapple with what is probably the worlds most fucked up identity crisis, he does very much eventually Become Griffon, as in, forms his own individual identity. why he decided to be a bird, idk, but i think that's mainly down to him just iding more as a demon and not really feeling even remotely human. identity is fluid and even more fucked up of you're a half demon with dissociative identity disorder, so we will cut him some slack.

he's primarily an emotional protector, and is and has always been primarily associated with v; v is significantly more emotionally vulnerable than vergil, who will just kill you if you inconvenience or upset him.

in their body, unless he's masking, he'd be very obvious. his posture is looser, he's more relaxed, and if i had to call any of them well adjusted, it'd be him.

shadow

shadow she/her because i fucking said so.

i don't have much to say about my friend the big kitty other than she's very much a physical protector and is extremely good at keeping her head in a tight spot. as for why she's a demonic cat that is also definitely not a cat, see griffon. same shit.

in their body, this would be her fronting in a desperate combat scenario in order to get out alive without anyone freaking out. with v while they're all separated, this manifests as her pretty much always being physical and acting as a mobility aid, since v's physically weak and genuinely just disabled.

i also think she's mostly or fully nonverbal and tends not to talk if she's stuck fronting. if she says anything, it's likely single words in human tongues or short sentences in infernal.

nightmare

nightmare is an it/its pronoun user if you ask me. i asked me.

it is also a physical protector in the same way shadow is, and is also largely nonverbal. i don't have much to say on it other than it's more inclined to look after vergil/nelo angelo than anyone else. as for the giant blob of goo features, see the other 2 non humans.

the way they interact with each other is the most interesting to me. i imagine they're aware of each other and have been at least since their time under mundus. how their internal communication skills are really depends on the day as it does for Us All, but as they get older and calmer and have space to process their trauma, they get better at it and for functional as individuals and as a single person.

your headcanon worldbuilding, since dmc doesn't have a ton to go off of, colors this as well.

example, in my writing, eva is always a witch, vergil always grows up in hell, the book of poetry is always a grimoire and i always include nelo angelo. vergil is always a trans man, and always asexual like that is just how i write him. shit like this colors everything from things about v to each of their individual relationships with nero and dante to their individual relationships with each other and etc.

as a fun little aside i'm going to talk about nelo angelo bc i like him so much i like him just a lot hes my blorbo from my dmc headcanons.

nelo angelo

when including him, i also include the tidbit that nightmare split largely because of the same trauma (mundus stuff) that causes angelo to split. angelo bears the brunt of the emotional and mental repurcussions of what happened when they were under mundus (nightmare has the memories but not the feelings; the code but not the software to run it.) consequently he's very reactive, very scared but very steely, and very dangerous. this isn't to say he's an evil alter, it's just to say that literally The Sight of dante can sometimes send him into a panic as he was conditioned to Kill Dante So Much and by god does this man have a fight response.

they all know trish because i said so, but to him, trish is *his* person, she would have been the only semi kind face he saw for *years* and i like to imagine them finding comfort and a sort of like. sibling kind of relationship in each other that is like the only good thing that happened thru the whole mundus ordeal.

however. my absolute FAVORITE things to write with angelo are about his recovery. as they get older, have their processing space, come to grips with the fact that they have family and friends who'll do anything for them, angelo gradually becomes less and less reactive and more and more the most chillest but least likely to take shit guy you've ever met. he's definitely gutted dante a few times but to be fucking frank, who hasn't, so no hard feelings there. honestly, out of all characters in DMC, i think recovery angelo becomes Thee Most emotionally stable. also i just like him so much.

there's soooo much more i could say especially wrt my trans vergil headcanon and how that relates to nero amd also to the system but u know what. we will leave it there. happy to go into that should anyone be curious but this is the most like... thought out DID vergil headcanon post ive ever made.

#vergil dmc #dmc vergil #dmc #devil may cry #dissociative identity disorder #asks #anons #headcanons #dan.txt

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isekai-crow · 8 months

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Solo Leveling - HypeHypeHype vs Haters

I'm. So. Hype. For. This. Show.

Solo Leveling is a big name this Anime season and there is so much hype around it, that its beginning to collect equal amounts of "this is over-hyped" comments.

The thing about Solo leveling is... it's main drive is not a character driven story.

It's a perfectly executed

Rule of Cool + Power Fantasy

done right!

Most of the people going into this show get it! And people have a right to nit-pick over what they enjoy. But I feel like most of the complaints I've seen are based on the fact that people think Solo Leveling is full of over-used tropes. I'd just like to point out that this story is almost a DECADE OLD at this point, AND HELPED START SOME OF THOSE TROPES. The anime coming out now does not make it some sort of revolutionary new story. It's basically a classic at this point, especially in regards to the gamification style reverse/modern world isekais. So like... if it's not your thing don't watch it and stop bitching?

The Solo Leveling manhwa was released in 2016, and was a big eye-opener for people who mostly read Japanese based manga to the world of Korean Manhwa. I know it did that for me when I started reading, and I've read so much manhwa now it's starting to rival my manga consumption (and I LIVE IN JAPAN).

Full digital coloring with beautiful color choices and almost sakuga style drawing by DUBU that made the characters and shadows come alive,

Scrolling panels that actually used the format to it's best ability instead of simply restructuring standard panel manga,

An ACTUAL SOLO COMBATANT with Necromancy? How often do we get Necromancy from the good guy?

A Glow Up brighter than the sun :D

The lack of fan service is a massive point in it's favor

A beautiful execution of a stats style leveling system that made me wishing there was more in the genre like it, and made sense in the world it was set in.

An MC in Sung Jin Woo who has both his own motivations and personality to help carry the story, and also the ability to superimpose your own personality and feel an echo of the losses and success that he attains himself.

I think one of the only thing lacking (and what is most complained about for the manhwa) is the fact the later half of the story was sped through because the artist DUBU died in 2022, which is of course right around the infamous (chimera) Ant Arc. My goal this year is to finally get into the light novel and give it a comparison, because I've heard good things that everything after the Ants makes more sense in the light novel.

PACING DO BE IMPORTANT Y'ALL.

I'm hype for the anime because I'm excited to see all this art in motion, A-1 Studios has done a beautiful job.

However, I'm not excited to know that the anime is based of the Japanese re-write of the light novel. All the names I've gone out of my way to memorize in Korean are now suddenly in Japanese, and Seoul has been replaced with Tokyo, and the fact that it's originally Korean has been completely erased.

I'm hoping that this is a good door way anime for Korean and Chinese manhwa/manwha, and that cultural erasure might fade if enough fans complain. But they'd have to be Japanese fans, who might not even realize the erasure has happened, rather than overseas fans who've only dealt with the Korean aspect, for any big name Studios to even give a shit, and I don't have high hopes... Maybe a smaller studio would be willing. (I'm always surprised at how surprised I am initially every time I'm reminded of how racist Japanese people can get, and yet. It's mostly the older generations that are dying off tho (at least in the circles I deal with, tho I've had my students parrot racist remarks from the parents.)

ANYWAYS. THE GOOD SIDE TO THIS IS.

The fact that they're taking a Korean manhwa and turning it into an anime with a big name Japanese studio is a nice step for broader horizons! I'm hoping Solo Leveling being such a big name with over seas fans, and being so popular in Japan as well, opens doors for the market in general!

This could lead to a further uptick in interest in Korean manhwa and light novels in general, which could hopefully lead to more being turned into anime, which could hopefully lead into more anime studios outside of Japan and a bigger market that can spread the workload on the animators out a little bit more! (It's sad to also think about the capitalistic goals this might help achieve instead though.)

(Also I learned there is a sequel to Solo Leveling. I'm not excited to have learned that one exists, much less to learn that it's bad. I won't be reading it, hahaha.)

anyways.

HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE...

#solo leveling #ore dake level up na ken #only i level up #anime winter 2024 #俺だけレベルアップな件 #sung jin woo #sung jinwoo

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blorbologist · 2 years

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Your love bites scar. or Sharing blood. for Bashter?

12. Your love bites scar.

Great white sharks take 2-3 decades to reach sexual maturity - it could well be that most of the big sharks we’re seeing today are the equivalent of young adults by our standards. Males bite the females during breeding, leaving a host of scars on her (but sharks explore the world with their mouths so idk, might be erotic to them).

13. Sharing blood.

Vampire bats are super social! They’ll bring blood back to their relatives who were too weak to go out slurping. They also bitch and argue a lot. Something fascinating and poetic, about sharing blood from others with those that share your blood on the inside. Same blood in the veins, same blood in the guts.

(Anon I see what you’re putting down and BY GOD AM I PICKING IT UP)

Beau’s pretty damn comfortable in her skin, thank you very much.

Does she get stares, sometimes? Yeah. Can’t be sure they’re directed at the scars until she reads the words on their lips.

She’d like to think it’s envy, even if she knows otherwise - because those slim lines and jagged edges are her history and proof her story keeps going. Open book, not closed - not yet.

I mean. No one would call Beauregard Lionett an open book. But you get where she’s going with this, yeah?

She’s lying. Two people would call her an open book.

“I’m back!” Beau calls into the dark. The warm day is quickly a distant memory as she kicks off her shoes, hangs up her expositor jacket. Takes a moment to listen before slipping on her goggles. “Jester, I swear to all the fuckin’ gods if you try to spook me again-”

Good call - she’s right there, in the shadows of the closet. In the darkvision offered by the goggles, her eyes flash a white too holy for a creature of the night.

“Awww, Beau,” she whines, abandoning her hiding spot to sling herself over Beau’s back. “You wouldn’t-”

“You know I’d punch you if you pulled that shit again,” the monk interrupts. Waddling through the entryway with a tiefling dramatically draped over her is certainly a testament to her training. “I don’t want to punch you!”

She goes very, very still when lips tease her shoulder. And then a kiss of fangs. “Yasha would heal me.” Sing-song.

“I would. Hi, Beau.” Speak of the devil - poking her head out of their kitchen. Thin, precise beams of light land on the potted plants Yasha so loves that Beau has to tend to for her. Because, you know. Vampires and light and a really shitty time. So she’s on perpetual watering and pruning duty.

“Hi babe.” Waddle waddle waddle as Jester giggles in delight - Yasha is so, so kind, to smile and roll her eyes and pad over for a kiss. Peck Jester’s nose, too, before Jester steals a smooch from Beau, too.

Man, she could die happy, like this.

(And, better yet, it likely wouldn’t be forever, if these two had anything to say about it.)

(She does like being a human with two vampire girlfriends, though. It has its perks.)

Yasha’s hand leaves her cheek to trail over her shoulder with a curious hum. “Are - ah. Healing alright?”

“Wonderfully,” Beau promises, rolling her shoulder both to show off the range of motion and dislodge Jester.

She can imagine the scars - young, only a week or so old - gleaming in the light. If there was any. Fresh taut tissue, a delightful change in texture, the ever-present worry each new one might stiffen her, the pride when it never does. Proud of her body, proud of Jester’s work, proud of Yasha’s healing.

“Do you think we could do the rest of it tonight? Like - the eye, maybe the detailing?”

Yasha hums, two-toned gaze flitting up to Jester’s, where her chin is notched into the curve of Beau’s neck. Cheeky, likely enjoying the drum of her pulse.

Jester’s fangs skimming the shell of her ear is answer enough.

“Oh, Beau - I think we could touch it up for dessert.”

Three sharp smiles in the dark.

(Send me a prompt and I’ll write a ficlet, a HC or an AU idea + share the science fact that inspired the prompt!)

#prompt #fic prompt #birthday prompt game #bashter #beauregard lionett #cr beauregard #jester lavorre #cr jester #cr yasha #yasha nydoorin #scarification #vampire au #when ur tattooist gf is also a vampire she she does some sexy scarification on u and ur other gf heals it and they both drink ur blood

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coventroublemaker · 1 year

Note

‘AROS’ is written in messy handwriting on the edge of the scroll, tied tight with a green ribbon and fastened with an old button. The Coven Scout holding it, the opossum-demon themself, bites the ribbon and prepares to jump from the floor to the desk. Their claws catch the edge and they heave themself up, looking for the right spot to put the letter.

Coven Scout Neo had a history of making rash decisions for people he cared about, Aros had found. Wandering the palace as a page had them seeing things from all angles all the time, so who were they to judge someone with a rough soul and a heart in the right place? Many people in the palace were far worse.

Neo was too much like Steve for them to call him untrustworthy. Steve would definitely like Neo.

Shaking their head, they checked the letter one last time, setting it down where Neo could find it. They had to go, but—hopefully!—they would see him again.

Aros vaulted off the table and popped open the ventilation bars, disappearing into the shadows.

“Deer Neo,” the letter started, blotched with ink and shaky letters. The spelling was… interesting. “It is good to see someone so nise in the pallase. It has been a long time sinse I met another Coven Scowt like you. I forgot to tell you my name when we met. My name is Aros. I overheard some Scowts talk about you, but my friend Steve says he wants to meet you.

Please leeve a letter by the vent if you want to talk to Steve. I will give it to him.

— A🐾”

The scout stepped back into his room after another check up with the healing coven. Luckily enough for him, his arm wasn't suffering anything permanent. Though he was reminded how lucky he was that it hadn't gotten anything horrible vital.

Despite it, his arm hurt like a bitch regardless.

As he began to enter his room, he spotted a letter on a table just outside of the quarters. He picked up the scroll, reading aloud the name 'Aros.'

With a shrug, he opened it and read through the scroll. There were spelling mistakes, but nothing to the point of being unable to mistranslate. The contents were rather sweet which did shock him ultimately.

Scouts talking about him.

Yes, he'd imagine their might be rumours of the idiot who had nearly died by the emperor at least twice.

But to be invited to speak to a scout named 'Steve. Funnily enough, he had heard the name spoken before and in good regard. Maybe he should try to make more friends in the castle, he already had so many enemies.

They sat in their room and rifled through their sketchbook, ripping out a blank sheet and taking their pen. They hoped formality wouldn't be an issue.

"Dear, Steve." Neo scrunched their nose, they just needed to channel the letters they would submit to their old headmaster. "Thank you for writing me, I am surprised that you reached out. Though, I am more than happy to meet more scouts. It seems like connections get your pretty far in a work environment like this."

They tapped the pen on their chin before continuing. "With that being said, I wouldn't mind meeting. Perhaps during a mission since I'd rather not use up my one vacation this year if that's alright with you. Hope that works for you! -Neo."

Before he folded the letter, he thought to add one last thing. "P.S. Thanks for the compliments, Aros. I'm sure you're pretty nice yourself."

Neo brought the letter to the vent and placed it just on the side, leaning it against the wall.

#my heart #THE LETTER #my muse #other's muses #writing post #bittybastard

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codswalloping · 2 years

Text

Tagged by @gritkitty. Rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a line (or three), and share it! then tag 10 people.

My takeaway from this exercise is that I write a fuckton of h/c and a fuckton of dialogue, but it’s fun to write bantery h/c, dammit!

Tagging @angryonabus @chocolatepot @cinnaluminum @clarasteam @glassmirrormask @leupagus @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 @missgeevious @newnewyorker93 @whetherwoman and anyone else who wants to play!

Cabin Pressure, “Contents May Have Shifted”

There was a very squashed moment or two of silence.

"Arthur," Martin said. "Why have you stuffed me into the locker?"

Doctor Who, “Afterburn”

Jack laughed. "Hello yourself," he managed, and then he couldn't help it, he ran at the Doctor and swept him up in a violent, crushing hug, his Doctor after all this time, all this time, all this time.

Generation Kill, “Feel Like I’m Fixin to Die”

“Hey, I’ve had plenty of visions that don’t involve my own dick,” Ray says. “I’m having one right now about Sixta’s dick, plowing you hard up the ass, and you are loving it, too.” He throws a leg over Espera’s and starts humping him. “Comply with this grooming standard, bitch.”

John Finnemore’s Double Acts, “A Friend in Need”

“Oh, no,” said Bunning, shocked into sincerity. “My dear fellow. You mustn’t think I minded that. I’m a poor enough nursemaid, but even so. Glad to help out. Really I am.” He’d felt, in fact, an aching tenderness toward Søndergaard in his vulnerability—he felt it still, a knot of swelling tension in his chest that didn’t seem to belong anywhere but that he didn’t know how to put down. It would wear off, he supposed, in time.

Life on Mars, “Shot”

He couldn't unsee it, try as he might: the way Sam's face at rest had looked almost pretty, the smoothness of his skin laid out over hard muscle and bone. How could you see something like that and not want to touch it? He'd wanted to curl himself around the damaged body of Sam Tyler, like a hard shell over something soft.

Love and Rockets, “Hopeless”

Every now and then, though, not always, there’s a way Maggie has of making her feel all liquidy and achy-tender at the core. There’s no telling what might set it off: the sound of her laugh, or the way she sticks her tongue out a little when she’s working with her hands, fixing something, or the stupid open trusting expression on her face when she looks up at Hopey all of a sudden. It makes Hopey want to grab her hand and just run somewhere with her, anywhere, everywhere.

Our Flag Means Death, “Happily Ever After”

“Black Beard,” said Stede, thoughtfully. “No, I’ve not heard of him. Fierce fellow?”

“Really desperate character, yeah,” said Lucius. “Such an asshole. Throw you overboard soon as look at you, for no reason whatsoever.”

“And he’ll never quit paying for it, will he,” Ed muttered. “God help the poor soul.”

Schitt’s Creek, “Strange Brew”

“But you’re really hot,” David said, surprised. “You wouldn’t want to fuck yourself? I’d totally fuck me if I weren’t me.”

“Uh huh,” Patrick said, in an and there you go tone of voice.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street, “Fetish” [NB the tentacles in question are NOT KATSU’S I would never]

It felt like being gently and cleverly rearranged at the circuit level, as if he were one of Mori’s creations, responding helplessly to the watchmaker’s intimate manipulations. The tentacles pulsed, thickened and thinned, curled and twisted and delved; there were so many of them now, so relentless, so deep— Thaniel sobbed out a cry of wordless ecstasy, and shook, and shook, and shook.

What We Do in the Shadows (2014), “Thirst Aid”

Not that he wanted a relationship with a werewolf. Not even a very kind and funny one with freckled eyelids and warm, strong arms and the most enticing little dimple when he smiled. Yuck. Disgusting.

#my fic #meems

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marinsawakening · 1 year

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Reading Round-Up June 2023

Books Read

An Unauthorized Fan Treatise by Lauren James

Described as "a serialized murder mystery novel set in a fictional fandom, formatted like a shipper's conspiracy theory", which is very accurate. It can be read in full (for free) here. I have mixed feelings on this novel. On the one hand, it's really clever in a lot of ways, I love Gottie and Rob and their parallels, and it absolutely nails the fandom atmosphere. The first half of the book feels just like reading unhinged fandom discourse, which, if you're a nosy bitch like me, is fantastic. The second half, however, plays the (murder) mystery a lot straighter, and that's where it kind of lost me. I don't feel like the mystery is quite strong enough to work without the gimmick. I do think the novel uses its chosen framing device really well, but the ultimate mystery was such a let down for me it left a nasty aftertaste. I would still recommend this novel, though, because at the end of the day, it's a unique piece of writing with a lot of thought and effort put in. And besides, I am difficult to please when it comes to mystery novels, so others might enjoy this more than me. (PS for the best experience, make sure you know the story of the MsScribe drama.)

The Call of Cthulhu, The Curse of Yig, The Man of Stone, The Horror in the Museum, The Thing on the Doorstep, The Tree on the Hill, and The Shadow out of Time by HP Lovecraft

This month I finished Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos stories. I still hate this guy's writing and am relieved that I'm finally able to leave it behind. From this month, the ones worth reading if you're interested in Lovecraft's worldbuilding are The Thing on the Doorstep, The Shadow Out of Time, and The Call of Cthulhu. This man's writing is never not racist but I'm specifically warning for racism in The Call of Cthulhu, in particular in regards to mistreatment of voodoo, racism against Inuit people and repeated usage of the esk*mo slur, and repeated usage of the word 'mongrel' to refer to a diverse group of people of colour.

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee (Did Not Finish)

I bought this book about three years ago for my birthday but never got around to reading it. Finally decided to pick it up because I was in the mood for something lighter, and unfortunately I did not enjoy it. I read up until about halfway through the book before deciding I did not care. The premise of this book is absolutely killer (giant mechanical dragon powered by magic paint does revolution against an imperialist nation), but unfortunately the writing/execution is just not every good. The worldbuilding's pretty interesting, as is the actual dragon, but the author does not seem to have a good grasp on how to distribute information, leading to either over- or under-explaining, which ended up being the death knell of this book for me. It's incredibly difficult to care about the plot when you barely explain the rules of the magic system your plot hinges on. This, combined with a small slew of other minor problems (the prose is mediocre, the pacing a little-less-than-mediocre, and I find a few of the narrative decisions this book makes to be annoying/baffling) made me frustrated while reading more often than not, and unlike what my Lovecraft adventures would have you believe, I am not a completionist and I do not make a habit of reading through books I don't like.

The Murderbot Diaries: All System Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol and Exit Strategy by Martha Wells

Currently listening through Network Effect. Picked this series up in a bundle of audiobooks sold for charity basically on a whim because it was an insanely good deal (less than 20 euros for the whole series + a lot of other books). I'd vaguely heard of the series but went in pretty much blind. Delighted to announce that it's great and I'm enjoying it immensely. Murderbot is a fantastic protagonist/narrator, and tbh it's hard carrying the series, because while the rest the narrative (worldbuilding, other characters, prose, etc) isn't bad, I feel like thusfar the only other stand-out elements are ART's character and maybe the portrayal of the Company. But Murderbot is just such a compelling character it's impossible not to be charmed by these books. They're funny as hell too. Favourite book so far is Artificial Condition.

Shows Watched

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury

Finished season one, on episode two of season two. Having an absolute blast watching this show; I really enjoy most of the characters and I'm interested to see where all that political intrigue goes. However, I do think that the school setting works against the show (it feels unnecessary most of the time and is boring compared to alternative options imo) and I feel like the transition between season one and two was pretty poor. It also has intermittent pacing issues. In addition, this is my first ever Gundam show and though I'd heard this was accessible to newcomers, and that's probably true bc I'm following along fine, I really do feel like I'm working with half the information most of the time. How exactly Gundams work is very underexplained in the show. I assume this is background knowledge long-term viewers are expected to have, but maybe it's a flaw in the worldbuilding, I can't say. At the end of the day though, most of the issues I have with this show are nitpicks and don't affect my enjoyment.

Games Played

The Great Artists

A game with minimal gameplay elements, in which you follow a group of phantom thieves and a detective right before and after a painting gets stolen. You can jump back and forth through time, allowing you to follow different people who are doing things simultaneously, which is the only interactive element. It's cute and interesting, plus I love the art, but I found the lack of interactive elements a little boring. You can get it here on itch.io.

#my posts #reading round-up #writing wise

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incarnateirony · 7 months

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Noooononono I think she was close and is backsliding, I was about to go to bed why am I hearing master of tartarus again oh god no maam its right there

Edit: got the courage to check that literally cursed ass blog, and she was like... right there. Posting about living a life. And then backslid to showing off her bird, again, this time to show they don't *always* stuff him in too small a cage since last August, just sometimes. The negotiating with herself is starting again. Oh god woman his pissed messages at you go back to June and July, you can check the timestamps, stop, stop sliding backwards. Let the fucking bird go. If not your pigeon, the one that is openly begging you to let it out so it might come back to your windowsill on its own some day, instead of being stuck in some venomous vibration he can't break past because it's too busy projecting me.

pleaaaaaaaaase god tell me getting stuck in that 2 hour cycle with "won't make a goddamn email to save my boyfriend but will complain about not doing it and how freaked out i am for 2 hours in spirals" driving backwards mcgee didn't like, resonate that energy right back out and make her start backing the fuck up again.

Edit: OH GOD THE FUCKING BIRD POST WAS AN HOUR INTO IT WHEN I STARTED SNAPPING TO THE POINT HE WAS COMING OUT TRYING TO LEVEL IT AGAIN OH GOD NO

SON OF A BITCH IS SHE REALLY THAT OVER CONNECTED RIGHT NOW ALREADY OH GOD

OH GOD NO I CHECKED THE FUCKING TIMESTAMPS OH GOD

its. its the same time.

"Many chatters can struggle making big calls or emails, but you had the strength to reach out to us today. What did you do to get yourself ready to talk to us today?" 10:48. Her bird post is at 10:20 and I'd already been going down the drain with this one for almost an hour with them just insisting on running away from just Doing The Thing.

Worry and fear. "OK, let's tap into that same power, even if it's worry, since we have a lot of worry right now, we can try to make that strength again like earlier, how would you feel about writing an email like this-" 10:50

I could but he said not to say his name. Idk what to do. "It's a big feeling, and can be overwhelming. Let's consider the choices. Do you feel he is serious enough about his intent that the help is more important than him being angry, or do you feel he will be angrier than anything else?" 10:54

I know he's serious, because he's done it before. "OK, it sounds like you feel this is important then. Let's take away all the other voices, of mom or dad or even him right now, pretend even I'm just a voice in your head. Even with all that worry, what feels like the right choice right now?" 11:00

And I was still on another 45 after that but I just. My point. Oh god I think that just direct uploaded the anxiety backing up to her. FUCK THE PRINCIPLE OF CORRESPONDENCE

oh god wait. I used to have my independent processing bloc, thats what started picking up her reflecting pyramidhead bs in the circuit, is she literally about to become my shadow work dumping ground altogether until this ends? Cuz that's the shit I bend people back from the brink usually.

Oh.

At one point... he outright asked, what do you feel we can do to support you today? And she walked right by it, and just said "I just want to be able to see him again and I just want him to stay here."

Oh god.

...I think that man later died to a spearman or some kind of soldier. Hence my disproportionate fear of death by sharp objects until I learned to uproot that as Not Mine and went all Karambit King.

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

Text

Just One - John Winchester smut

The one where John has been obsessed with killing you but now that he found you...

Warnings: smut, as close to hatefucking as I can write, witch!reader, masturbation (f), oral (m, f), dirty talk, degradation laced with praise?, hairpulling kink, namecalling (bitch, whore), John wants it to hurt, slight size kink (blink and you’ll miss), p in v, spanking, biting, unprotected sex, cumplay, unspecified age gap

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: This one is a part of my kinktober celebrations. My original intention for this October was to work exclusively around prompts that my wonderful friend @darkficsyouneveraskedfor created for her challenge and dedicate each story to a different friend. My new plan became then 31 days of different kinks, which expanded on a poly relationship with Stucky, as you might know by now. However, some of the stories I started were already truly loved by me, and so I kept on writing them. It worked well because as it turns out, I am fortunate enough to have more than 31 friends on Tumblr, so here is the story I wrote for @negans-attagirl. This most likely celebrates my last time writing for John! Special thanks to my @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for reading this even though she’s not really into Supernatural! I love you for it!

I knew he was there. Watching. I’d been running away from him for so long, it felt like second nature now - to look over my shoulder, hold my breath when a stranger got too close. Watch the shadows and see if they took the form of a well-built man who wanted nothing more than to see me dead.

But I didn’t just wait around for my inevitable ending, oh no. I’d studied him just as much as he did to me, prepared myself for what was to come as I fled the state and traveled borders in the hopes of throwing him off. I concocted potions and spells and thought about everything I could do to him whenever he found me again.

Most of all, I thought of him. How could I not? Not only was he my main concern in this life, but the man was just walking sin. And if I were to go down, I was determined to at least go down on him before he killed me.

So I slowly left the diner across from the motel I’d been hiding in for the last three weeks and returned to my room, making sure to leave the door unlocked while I took off my clothes. The sound of the door closing behind me wasn’t unmistakable, and we both knew that. “Feel like joining me?” I asked as I sat down on the bed and spread my legs for his eyes, my hand traveling down my body, playing with my nipples before settling between my thighs. He didn’t look confused, not even for a moment.

This sexual tension between us, it’d never been one-sided. It was there from the beginning, electrifying our interactions as desire swirled in the air around us. I was convinced it was the main reason why he couldn’t just let me go.

He leaned his head to the side, but didn’t say anything. He was too focused on what I was doing, the way my fingers rubbed my clit before dipping inside my hole only to come back up wetter, the sounds of my actions filling the air around us.

“I don’t see why not.” The words sent a thrill up my spine, and without even stopping to consider what I was doing, I dropped to my knees before him, reaching out for his jeans. “Can’t let you get off all by yourself.”

I hummed appreciatively as I stuck out my tongue to lick the red head of his cock, already intoxicated with his taste. “Such a gentleman… even when you’re planning to kill me.” His chuckle was like thunder, reverberating through me and making my clit throb as I wrapped my lips around his member.

“It would be a waste if I didn’t put this pretty mouth to work.” His thumb brushed against my lower lip until I licked it and enveloped it with my mouth, making him groan. “So fucking warm. I’m gonna enjoy filling this hole with my cock.”

His words had me clenching around nothing, the overwhelming wetness that dripped from me now slathering the inside of my thighs, no doubt reaching the floor. It made me desperate to please him, desperate to fill my mouth with his cock.

So I wrapped my lips around the head of his member and began sucking, at first looking up to see his darkened, lust-filled eyes before actually closing mine to fully appreciate his taste, the weight of him on my tongue.

I licked every single inch of his skin until my saliva coated his member. It was a beautiful cock, a cock that deserved to be worshiped. I wasn’t one to enjoy being on my knees too much, but his thickness was just too tempting. I needed to pay it the proper respects.

So I took him as well as I could, ignoring the way tears rose to my eyes as I willingly choked myself on his cock, trying my best to breathe through my nose in an effort to reach his navel.

I wasn’t able to. But he didn’t seem to mind, hand wrapped around my hair, forcing my movements as I slobbered all over his dick. “Such a good little cocksucker…” he absentmindedly commented, almost to himself.

“Were you expecting me?” I looked up to see him looking down at me, actually waiting for an answer. So I pulled away, wiped the spit from my jaw before replying honestly, “Always.”

Because, well… How could I sleep peacefully without thinking about the man who wanted to kill me?

But his answer was a chuckle and an almost condescending head pat, his deep warm voice making me even wetter when he complimented, “Good girl.” God, he could kill me right now. I’d go willingly and happily.

I eagerly sucked him off a bit longer, losing myself in the almost-sounds that I could pick up from his body: the little groans and pants, the way he cleared his throat instead of growling his desire for me. He wouldn’t give in, wouldn’t show his satisfaction to a little witch.

I could live with that.

“Stop that.” His words were accompanied by a harsh tug on my hair, pulling me up until I was standing on my tip toes, my face mere inches from his. “Wanna fuck you now. I can kill you tomorrow.”

The fact that he never kissed me didn’t escape me. This was a quick fuck, it would not be mistaken as anything else. Still, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t drag as much fun out of it as I possibly could… especially considering these might very well be my last hours of living.

“So you want me?” I questioned, smirking at his answering huff. He didn’t want to admit it, of course - that would be recognizing I had some sort of power over him. So he opted to tighten his grip on my hair until I moaned from the pleasurable pain, eyes sparkling in their darkness as he took in just how desperate I was for him.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he settled for saying as I laughed. “Always a fucking tease. Is your cunt as bitter as your soul, brat?” I bit my lip as he threw me on the bed, already anticipating his next move.

“Find out for yourself.” His expression made it clear that he was doubtful when he tore off my underwear and threw the scraps of it over his shoulder, pulling me to the edge of the bed by my ankles without much care.

He pressed on the inside of my thighs to keep my legs spread for him, and when his tongue licked a line up my cunt, I clenched around nothing, eyes closing for just a second to relish in the barely-there sensation.

“Oh, fuck…” His voice was barely over a whisper, but I still heard it and when I opened my eyes to look at him, he was staring directly at his meal, like he couldn’t believe what he had just tasted. “So fucking sweet…”

He went back there with a newfound hunger, and although I knew he wasn’t doing this to make me cum, I also knew he would achieve that - easily. It didn’t take many of his long swipes over my hole, the twirls around my clit to make me gasp for him, hands flying down to pull on his hair.

I think the only reason he didn’t slap them away was because he seemed to like the slight sting I provided him.

“Fucking cum, bitch,” he growled at some point, surprising me until he revealed why it was that he wanted me to orgasm. “I want to drink all of your essence before I shove my cock into you, make sure it’ll really sting.”

But I knew it was more than that - I knew he wanted more of my taste. It was everywhere now, dripping from his beard, smearing the inside of my thighs, but he kept his eyes focused on me, waiting for my breaking point.

I saw embers of flames when it arrived. Maybe it predicted my death at the stake, but I couldn’t mind it. Not when John was rising to his full height and very easily turning me around to lay on my stomach, keeping my legs dangling off the edge of the bed when he kicked them apart.

I was trapped under his much larger body and I didn’t mind it at all. He shoved my face against the bed, like he didn’t want to see it as he slowly started to stretch me out.

I bit my lower lip as I struggled to adjust around his thickness, and by the sounds John was releasing, I could see he was just as overwhelmed by me and the pussy he wanted to destroy.

I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be ravished by John Winchester. No one had ever fucked me like this before, and I was sure he knew, with the melodic moans that kept slipping from my lips, try as I might to reel them in.

“Those fucking sounds…” He groaned behind me, seconds before his hand landed harshly on the right cheek of my ass, making me whine even louder. “You’re a filthy little whore, aren’t you?”

I was too far gone to even try to deny it, fucking myself back against his delicious thick cock, desperate to cum again, this time feeling completely full of him.

“Who would have thought…” He panted, hips maintaining their onslaught against me. “Nasty fucking witch, such a tight little pussy.” Each word was accompanied by a particularly brutal thrust and I relished in it. I relished in witnessing the great John Winchester get carried away because of my body.

“Fuck,” he cursed after he managed to locate my sweet spot, which in turn had me instinctively clenching around him. “Why do you feel so fucking good?”

Under him, I just giggled, my hand easily locating the spot above where we were connected so I could rub myself to an orgasm. “I’m convinced you’re the devil, little witch.”

Stifling a laugh, I started to move my hips back so I could fuck myself on him, showing him how I liked to be treated - even harder and rougher than he was already treating me. And because I really was a brat, I couldn’t help but taunt, “Do you feel sorry you have to destroy it?”

I knew he understood I was referring to my pussy, and when his hand slapped mine away so he could take over the motions over my clit, I closed my eyes to let bliss take me.

“Almost,” he grunted, a confession I almost lost in the fog of my high. But here lied an opportunity, and I wasn’t about to let it slip away without a fight.

“I mean… you could just keep it,” I offered, barely over a whisper so as not to anger the man who kept fucking me. I didn’t want him to stop his movements, so I hoped even if he did get pissed at my suggestion, he’d just take it out on me. “Use it whenever you want.”

I didn’t get a response from him - at least, not verbally. But he did speed up his movements, pounding me so hard the bed started to hit the wall and I knew we were seconds away from having the neighbors banging on it, telling us to keep it down, but I couldn’t care less.

Not when John was burying his face in the crook of my neck, beard tickling me as he bit on my shoulder to keep his roar from reverberating in the room when he shot his cum deep inside of me.

He didn’t wait even a second before pulling out. I missed his weight on top of me, but the feeling of his cum slowly slipping from my used pussy was enough to give me some comfort.

“Shit, I really opened you up, huh?” He chuckled, rubbing his cream around my hole before pushing it back into me, making me whine. “I’m still fucking hard. Did you put a spell on me, brat?”

I laughed as he massaged my ass, apparently incapable of fully retreating his touch from my skin. “Is that why I’m still aroused?” He insisted, rutting his very much, still hard member against my thigh. “Tell me.”

Stretching, I giggled at his silly accusation. “I think I just turn you on, old man,” I teased, wiggling my ass at him. He took the bait and spanked it, before I felt his weight leave the bed altogether.

“Well, I’m going to take a shower, wash you off of me,” he explained, stopping at the door of the bathroom to stare at me. “You better be there when I come out,” he warned and I bit my lip, understanding exactly what he meant.

“I don’t think I can walk if I tried,” I giggled, but he just tipped his head back, humming noncommittally. Before long, I heard the shower turning on, the sound of the water running down the drain almost lulling me to sleep.

I made sure to leave my panties right next to the note I wrote for him to find when he got out of the shower. Three simple words, a promise: “Until next time”.

#my fics #john winchester smut #john winchester #smut #john winchester x reader #john winchester reader #john winchester reader insert #john winchester reader inserts #john winchester fanfic #john winchester fanfics

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meat--grindr · 3 years

Note

Ohh your writing is wonderful... I’ve actually never requested before so I hope get this right but: could I request Billy Lenz x Gender Neutral Reader (AFAB if it’s brought up) with Billy sucking on his partner’s fingers and discovering they are really, /really/ into it but also super embarrassed about it? Bastard-ness ensues. Hope this request is ok!

Okay? This is waaay more than okay! I’ve been so excited about this prompt since I received it! I’m so sorry for not getting to it earlier. I hope like six months later is better than never though! I’m also super excited to be your first request! I hope this lives up to your expectations, whatever they may have been!

Just a few general warnings beforehand: Billy is really rough with the reader he uses some extremely degrading language as per the canon (I’ve excluded the term ‘piggy,’ though, because I am NOT A FAN™ of that aspect of his dirty talk.) I want to specifically call to attention the liberal use of the terms ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt.’ The reader is never gendered with personal pronouns, but those words are used in reference to them and their anatomy several times. I am of the opinion that Mr. Lenz would use those terms regardless of what hole he’s using, but if they make you uncomfortable, maybe give this one a miss? Furthermore, I would like to mention that Billy is not a mentally well man (obviously) who has had a rather traumatic past with abuse, both of these are discussed within this fic, so please take care of yourselves and read this work responsibly if you want to read it at all. I don’t want anyone to be hurt by my writing because I didn’t warn them properly.

Also, this is my first time writing for Billy, so please forgive me if it takes a little while for me to get completely used to him. He’s a…unique fella, let’s say.

Editing Ripper’s Note: I was just about to post this when I realized I completely misread the prompt! I read it as the reader is really into sucking on Billy’s fingers, not the other way ‘round! I’ve been looking at this prompt, literally since December and still never caught on. I feel like a total idiot. I’m really sorry about that. I’ve decided to post this anyway because A) the kink is still there in the fic, just not exactly as requested, and B) I had already finished it by the time I noticed my mistake. So much time has passed and if the original requester is still keeping tabs on this blog, I don’t want to make them wait any longer. That being said, if you’d like me to write your request properly, please send me a message and I will do my best!

Mind Your Teeth – Billy Lenz (Gender Neutral* Reader) - NSFW

· Slick with sweat, your chest slides against the surface of your desk with each cruel snap of Billy’s hips. You can feel the laboured heaving of his chest against your back as he struggles for breath. It leaves his lips in ragged, staggering puffs, heavy and hot against your shoulder blade, accompanied every so often by the slick warmth of his saliva as it drips down onto your bare skin.

· Despite his gawky build, he manages to loom over you, folding you nearly in half against the desk. He’s made himself rather comfortable, sprawled over top of you. His chest presses against your back, boney ribs grinding against the knobs of your spine through the stiff, itchy fibers of his jumper. It’s sticking to your skin, soaked through in spots with sweat—yours and his—and you can feel it peeling up from your flesh with every movement he makes.

· He’s got you pinned, holding you down against the smooth wooden surface with little more than his weight. He’s surprisingly heavy, and though he doesn’t look it, Billy is a strong man—he’s more than capable both of lifting you off of the floor and pinning you down to it. He’s strong and his hands are by no means an exception to that rule. Though they may be long and thin, and they tremble whenever they hold you, his grip is nearly unbreakable. His clumsy fingers circle your wrists like iron fetters, dirty fingernails digging into the flesh of your forearms and cutting little crescents into the skin—just deep enough to sting. You can barely move beneath him—can barely breathe—and he knows this. He has you exactly where he wants you and you’re not going anywhere until he decides to let you.

· Another bruising thrust pitches you forward, and your knees bang against the desk drawers. You cry out, though whether it was for the dull ache in your legs or the sudden stab of pleasure between them, even you couldn’t say for certain. Though if there is any concern at all in Billy for your wellbeing, he’s certainly keeping it to himself. Your outburst only seems to egg him on, as his pace begins to take on a more frantic edge.

· His thrusts are shallow as he rocks into you—it’s as though he can’t bare to withdraw from the tight heat of your body for long. Dimly, through the fog of pleasure, you struggle to feel surprised. It’s all about instant gratification with Billy. Always has been—why should he tease himself or draw things out when he could just pry open your willing mouth and drag his cock against your tongue until he cums down your throat? Still, there is a force behind those thrusts—one which throws you up against the lip of the desk hard enough that you’re sure there will be a solid line of bruising along your midsection before the night is through. Every push of those hips shoves you forward a little more, until your head is nearly knocking against the wall and your toes barely touch the ground.

· Your cheek slides against a slick patch of wood and you realize you’ve been drooling across the desktop. The little puddle at the corner of your lips only grows in size as a particularly deep thrust from Billy wrings another string of wrecked whimpers from your throat. You wish you could pull away from the puddle—longing to drag the back of your hand across your cheek and wipe away the slickness, but there’s little you can do about it with Billy still holding your arms hostage. But at the same time, something about it thrills you—to be ruined like this—held still, unable to so anything but whimper, and drool, and take what you’re given. It’s…liberating.

· “C’mon, little bitch! Take my fat cock! You can t-t-take it better than that! Take it! Take-Take-Take it good for B-B-Billy!” He babbles into your shoulder, chapped lips scraping against your shoulder as he mouths at your flushed skin. His tongue flickers out, dragging a wet stripe against your skin, scorching hot, then suddenly too cool as it begins to dry in the open air.

· “Such a pretty pusssssy,” He slurs, “Pretty, pretty pusssssy. Gonna fill it up—gonna fill it with my fat ffffffucking cock!”

· You feel him jerk behind you, his muscles going taught as a violent spasm rolls through his body. When he speaks again, the voice that comes is not his own—it’s deeper, rumbling down in his chest, belonging to a man much larger than he, “Why I outta beat that boy! Beat him up good! Beat Billy bad! Beat him good! Beat him up, up, up!”

· His hips still and your heart leaps up into your throat, your pulse pounding hard in the tight space. This can’t be good. You squirm beneath him, trying and failing to turn your head. Your eyes roll wild in their sockets, desperate to get a good look at Billy, but he remains a shadow at the edge of your vision. You remember this voice. He had so many it was difficult to keep track of them sometimes—he’d mimic almost anything he heard; the children from down the road calling to one another while they played, the weatherman making predictions on the radio, even the neighbour’s cat. It was easy to forget which voices and phrases came from where once he’d picked them up and used them enough. But this is one that predates you, and you recognize it with a chilling clarity—the father’s voice: always angry, often violent.

· It frightens you when Billy uses it, though not because of the threat Billy poses to you. Of course, you know to tread carefully when he's in one of his moods—you’ve seen first hand the destruction wrought when his directionless frustration is given direction. But, you know this voice is a far more likely indicator that Billy is an imminent threat to himself. You’ve seen him pacing the floor like a caged animal, trembling hands beating about his head, tearing at his clothes and hair as he works through the frenzy, all the while babbling to himself in that deep, rumbling voice: “Rotten boy! Teach you a fucking lesson! Beat Billy! Bad Billy! Bad, Bad, Bad!” He's blackened his eyes, split his lips and knuckles, shattered countless plates and cut his hands on the shards. He loses himself in that voice, and that scares you.

· ‘Losing himself,’ that’s what you’ve come to call these episodes—those moments when his excitement and boundless energy curdle, souring into anxiety and agitation so quickly it makes you head spin. And in this moment, he’s displaying all the tell-tale sighs you’ve come to recognize—the full-body tremors, the angry voices, self-directed violence—mere threats or otherwise…

· No, this is not good. Of course, this isn’t the first time you’ve seen him do this, and you’re sure it would not be the last, but he’s never done it while you were…playing before. And that worries you. You’re both vulnerable, half-undressed and bent over a desk. Even worse, he was behind you. You’d learned very quickly never to let him out of your sight when he got like this. He was unpredictable—prone to lashing out whether he meant to or not. But he wasn’t beyond helping. If you could just turn your head and look at him—make him see you, help him to ground himself like you practiced, you might be able to talk him down, or at least ease him through the worst of it. Maybe. If you could only get a look at him.

· You flounder for your voice and struggle to keep it steady once you find it, “Hey, B-Billy? Billy, baby, you’re okay, right?” It’s an innocent question you usually begin with when he gets like this. Sometimes he’s too worked up to even begin to answer you, sometimes he tries so damn hard to answer, but can’t—not in a way you could really understand anyhow—and sometimes you can talk it through with him. Every time you try, the reaction is different. You can only cross your fingers and pray for a positive outcome.

· This time, he coughs. It’s a horrible, a horrible, racking sound that echoes in his chest—it’s almost closer to a scream than anything else. Another spasm jitters through him, the joint in his neck snapping loud in the darkness. You feel his forehead collide with your shoulder once, twice, then he stills. His flesh is clammy against yours, and the gentle brush of his hair makes your skin prickle, but he seems calmer. He barks a laugh—his own this time—and nuzzles against your back, smearing your skin with sweat and saliva. “Fuck!” He says, as though that explains everything.

· “Billy? Are you…alright?”

· He chirps like bird, three short bursts of whistling he’d picked up last spring when a robin mad made a nest on your windowsill, “Right as rain, rain, rain!”

· You’re left with a heady rush of confusion and relief as you realize he must have pulled himself out of the hole he’d almost fallen into. A little flicker of pride sparks to life in your chest. He’s come so far.

· Your concern melts away once again into pleasure as Billy jerks his hips. Keening high in the back of his throat, he fucks himself deeper into you. He drags his cock out slow, sounding for all the world as though he’d forgotten just how good it felt to fuck you—as though he hadn’t been doing just that not sixty seconds ago. He scrapes his teeth against your shoulder, the promise of a bite that will surely come and mark you for days. His fingers flex around your wrists, blunt nails biting deeper into your flesh as he falls back into that brutal rhythm.

· Your legs begin to shake as Billy’s cock bumps up against something a bit more sensitive inside of you. Your breath fogs against the surface of the desk as it heaves from your lungs, a thin mist that barely has the time to fade before the next heavy puff of air replaces it. You find yourself struggling to swallow the moans Billy’s working so hard to pull from you. You know how much he likes to hear you—how wild it makes him—and you know there’s no real need to be quiet, not with the dorm cleared out for the long weekend. Still, something—be it a force of habit from living in close quarters with thin walls, or simply your own embarrassment—keeps you quiet.

· “Fiiiilthy whore!” A growl, caught low in his throat, tears through the air between you, “Pretty pussy! Want it full! My cock, my cum…gonna fill it full!” Never at a loss for a string of vulgarities, Billy mumbles against your skin, his words slurring into one another until you can barely decipher one though from the other.

· “Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck!” Billy jerks his hips forward, and for the first time this evening, you feel the full length of his cock stretching you out. You jerk beneath him, mewling into the desktop, squirming about as you try desperately to relax around him. You’re so full—so full you can barely breathe, but it feels so good. Your muscles contract around him, unbidden, throbbing with the sudden stretch. It makes him shudder and sigh above you, a wavering rush of air than hisses out between his teeth.

· He holds you there for a moment, trembling almost as much as you are, “Tight fffucking cunt, so fucking tiiight for Billy!” His hips stutter forward in time with his ragged breathing. Desperately, he tries to fuck himself deeper into you, even though he can’t—he’s already buried to the hilt, his hips tucked snugly against your ass. But he gives it the old college try anyhow. He begins to babble nonsensically against your neck, “Ruin it, ruin it! Never take another cock! Full, full, full! I left it in the kitchen, Jan! Not after Billy’s! A low pressure system moving in and—fuck you full, fuck you full, full, full!”

· The tops of his thighs quiver as he grinds into you, and as he shifts, the head of his cock presses against something. For a moment, your vision goes white. Your legs seem to fall away beneath you, your knees drifting south as the pleasure carries away their ability to hold you upright any longer. If it weren’t for the desk, you probably would have slid down into a boneless heap on the floor.

· You gasp, mouth gaping wide, pulling in a great, deep lungful of air. To call his name? To beg him for more? To put wordless voice to your pleasure? You aren’t sure. There is little room in your brain for thought beyond the need for more. Mercifully, Billy saves you from the struggle before you can waste too much energy on it.

· Almost as soon as he realizes your mouth is open, Billy shoves his fingers into your mouth. Two boney digits slide against your tongue, pressing and prodding against the slick muscle. The taste of dust and salt floods your mouth with the intrusion. You wrinkle your nose, and try to pull your head back, but Billy leans down into you, pressing you down further beneath his weight, grinding your ribs into the desktop.

· “No, no, no,” He chides, voice soft and light—almost cheerful. He spreads his fingers apart, rubbing over the hard bumps of your bottom teeth with a tenderness you rarely see in him. “Gotta make room,” His voice rumbles through you as he presses his lips against your flesh, “Gotta stretch it out for Billy, or he won’t fit!”

· He nuzzles his cheek against your shoulder, still rocking his hips into you, pressing against that spot that makes your brain fill with television static, “Billy’s gonna fuck your throat once he’s filled that pretty pussy!”

· Your lips are pulled taught as his fingers press against the walls of your mouth, testing its limits. “Soft and warm! Wanna fuck it! Fuck it deep!”

· His hips buck hard, shoving you another inch toward the wall. You can feel yourself drooling around his fingers—your saliva dripping down your chin in great rivulets and collecting beneath your cheek.

· His knuckles bump against the roof of your mouth as the pads of his fingers find the back of your tongue. You gag around them, struggling to breathe, but Billy just laughs and presses down harder.

· “Again,” His voice comes out in a ragged puff of breath, half-whisper, half-growl, rough as rock salt, “Pussy gets tight when it chokes.”

· You try to suck in a shocked breath, but you can’t manage it around his fingers. Your throat convulses around him as you struggle to breathe.

· You feel his cock pulse inside of you and he groans his pleasure long and low into the darkness, “Yesssss!”

· He rocks into you again, “No one fucks like Billy, huh?” He pulls back, his cock nearly slipping from your body entirely, then he slams his hips home again, “No one fucks you full like Billy can! No one! No one! No one!” The phrase becomes a litany, each sentence punctuated with a bruising snap of his hips. “Know why?” He drags his teeth along the edge of your shoulder blade, “Know why?” You can hear the grin in his voice, wide and sharp, “‘Cuz Billy fills you up from both ends!”

· You sob around Billy’s fingers, your eyes rolling back as he pushes them deeper into your mouth. If he keeps on like this, it won’t be long before you fall apart around him—you want to cum so desperately, you can hardly keep another thought in your brain. Your muscles clench up around him and he laughs, giggling to himself as he hooks his chin over your shoulder. He can feel how close you are.

· His tongue slides against the side of your face, leaving a thick, wet stripe across your cheekbone. His lips scratch rough against your jaw, “Pretty pussy’s gonna cum? Gonna cum all over Billy’s fat fucking cock? Yeah?” His simpering tone makes your cheeks burn with embarrassment, but you nod. Another peal of sick laughter bubbles up in his throat, “You’re gonna cum and Billy’s not even trying! So dirty, dirty, dirty!”

· You whine around his fingers as he babbles on, “Billy could fuck you harder, but he doesn’t need to! Stupid, greedy pussy, silly fucking cunt can cum like this!” His teeth sink into your shoulder and the rest of his diatribe is lost to you. Even so, he continues to mumble filth against the skin caught between his teeth.

· The bite stings, bright and sharp, and you sob around him, clenching your jaw, your teeth digging into his fingers. Billy releases you with a hiss, dipping his head into the crook of your neck. You think for a moment you might have hurt him, but in mere seconds, he’s giggling to himself again. “Sharp, sharp teeth! No good. No, no good. Not for Billy’s cock. Gotta tear them out, make room for Billy!”

· Though you know the threat is mostly empty, the way Billy caresses your molars with the pad of his finger makes you a little nervous. You’re sure if he could get a good grip, he could easily ‘make room,’ and there was probably not much you could do to stop him. But he pulls his fingers back, retreating from the crushing press of your back teeth.

· He presses down against your tongue again, rubbing against the slick muscle fondly. “Need to practice! Greedy cunt needs to learn! Learn to suck Billy’s fat cock properly.” He snaps his hips, as though trying to remind you just how fat it really was—as though there was any change you could forget while it was rearranging your guts for you. “Gonna teach you to take it good!”

· Your eyes roll back at the thought. You can picture yourself kneeling under the desk, Billy draped over the chair, wild hair falling over his eyes as you try to take him all the way down to the base. He’d fuck your throat until your vision goes black, his fingers tangled deep in your hair, nails digging into your scalp. Your own fingers slide desperately between your thighs, chasing your release as he chases his own and god what you wouldn’t give to make the fantasy real—to feel the length of him in your mouth, the rough denim of his pants beneath your hands, the jerk and sting against your scalp as he tugs on your hair. Your cheeks hollow around Billy’s fingers, a pretty whine sitting high in the back of your throat.

· And Billy stops—stops moving, stops talking. He hovers above you, silent and still as a statue, barely breathing. A terrible moment of clarity washes over you and the embarrassment comes rolling in. There you were, still stretched out on Billy’s cock, barely moments away from an orgasm and you were already thinking about another? Were you really that desperate? Your cheeks burn hot against the cool wood of the desktop. Shame licks at the pit of your stomach—it wasn’t unlink Billy to think this way, he was always seeking the next shot of pleasure, but it wasn’t like you. As though it wasn’t bad enough to catch yourself thinking that way…for someone else to do it? It was mortifying…and maybe a little exciting too.

· Your stomach flips as Billy shifts behind you, the burgeoning stubble on his jaw scraping across your sensitive skin. Then you feel it, a smile spreading across his face—it’s a grin you’ve come to know well, all teeth and wide enough to make his jaw pop. Even without looking at him, you know you’re fucked.

· All at once, he lurches to life again, fucking his fingers hard into your mouth, in tandem with the harsh thrusts of his hips. A filthy string of gibberish falls from his lips as he pounds into you, “Greedy! Greedy cunt! Want it in your mouth too? Filthy, greedy fucking whore!”

· You whine, and choke, and sob around Billy’s fingers. Your face is wet with sweat, with spit, with tears, you can’t tell and at this point, you’re far beyond the point of caring. The world has narrowed to a single point between your legs as you teeter on the knife’s edge of your release. You rock your hips back against Billy, meeting his thrusts, desperate for more. You’re so, so close, and Billy can feel it too—the way you tighten around him spurring his pace from wild to frantic.

· His voice is broken, his words panted out between jagged breaths and garbled moans, “Gonna be good for Billy? Gonna cum?” His face is buried in the crook of your neck. He giggles against your flesh as he splits you open, slamming into you like it’s the last fuck he’ll ever have. “C’mon, take what Billy gives you! Take it, take it, t—ta—fuuuck!”

· Your hips stutter as your orgasm throbs through you. You scream around his fingers as you cum, your muscles clamping down around Billy so hard he almost has to stop moving, rolling his hips forward quick and shallow. His howl is lost in the sound of blood rushing in your ears, but you can feel it vibrating through his chest, and down into your back. Your fingers scrabble at the wood beneath you, desperate for something to latch onto—to keep you grounded here as the pleasure threatens to carry you away.

· You sob and slump limp against the desk, letting it bear the brunt of your weight. There’s just no strength left in your body anymore. Your hands and feet tingle with the lingering aftershocks of the adrenaline as you begin to come down from your high, and your breath comes hard, as though you’ve run a great distance. Billy’s hips continue to snap against yours, brutal and quick. You sob into his fingers, the as the relentless pleasure sparks through you, nearly painful to your sparking nerves.

· Slowly, as your ears stop ringing, you realize Billy is still talking, babbling away in several voices. “Like your pussy tight like this. Wanna fuck you full while you cum again and again and again and I told you, Jan, I left it in the kitchen! Make you soaked, keep you soaking wet, make you fucking cry! Where is that cat? Where’s that cat? Where’s the…WHERE’S THE BABY, BILLY?! AGNES? WHERE’S AGNES, BILLY?! Beat that kid! Teach him a lesson! BEAT HIM UP GOOD!”

· His left hand shoots up from your arm and wraps around your throat, fingers flexing around your windpipe, not quite squeezing, yet, but the pressure is far from comfortable.

· “T-T-Teach rotten old Billy a lesson.” A spike of fear shoots through you and you choke around his fingers. This seems to bring his mind back, at least in part, to the present, or at least confuse him enough to serve as a distraction—he makes a noise caught between two voices. The fear that courses through you lends new strength to your limbs as you reach up and claw at his fingers.

· As you attempt to pry him lose, his grip only tightens, fingers locking around your windpipe, “Teach that boy a FUCKING lesson!” The knobby joints of his fingers press hard against the pulse in your throat and you’re sure he can feel it hammering beneath your skin. He’s losing himself again, you’re sure.

· But again, this time was different. He hadn’t stopped fucking his cock into you like he had before, and he’d wavered for a moment, when you’d choked on him. There might be something else you could do to help him. Desperate to keep him here with you in the present moment, you flex your tongue against his fingers. His hips stutter and your heart skips a beat in turn. “Filthy fucking c-c-cunt…”

· You bob your head, hollowing your cheeks around his fingers again. C’mon, Billy!

· “F-Fuck!” It’s not quite his voice, but it’s close, perhaps a little higher, a little more strained than usual, but it’s close. “Where’s the baby, Billy? Where’s the…c-c-cat gone to now?” His fingers begin to relax around your throat, but you keep sucking on his fingers, wanting to make sure you’re well and truly out of the woods before you even think about stopping. If this is going to work, you’re going to make damn sure of it.

· “Fucking greedy little cunt!” You could have cried with relief at the sound of his voice—his real voice. You hum around his fingers, and he laughs, the sound low and rumbly, “Still so fucking eager.” His hips buck forward, pressing deep inside of you. It’s still too much, too soon, and you sob with the overstimulation. The sudden spike of pleasure punches the air from your lungs and shakes your legs from underneath you.

· Billy groans as you pulse around him. “You want Billy to cum? Wand Billy to fucking fill you?” You nod frantically, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as he grinds into that spot, filling your vision with white hot splotches of light.

· “Suck his cock, then,” he says, shoving his fingers deeper into your mouth again. He spreads them wide, nearly matching the girth of his cock where it fucks you open. Billy jitters behind you, chasing his release with quick, cruel thrusts. Impatient as always, he pushes digs his nail into the wall of your cheek, “Fucking suck Billy’s cock!”

· You jerk into motion as though startled from a deep sleep, pressing your head down against his fingers to take them as deep as you could. Your tongue laves against the digits, prodding gently against his scarred knuckles, playing in the space between them.

· Billy throws his head back, moaning to the ceiling long and loud, “Yessss! Good little pet! Pretty, pretty pet! His fingers stroke your throat as though he’s petting a cat, feeling it work up and down as you swallow around him. “Gooood pet! Suck Billy’s cock! Suck his cock! Su—NO!”

· Suddenly, he stops, his fingers stilling. For a moment, you think you’ve done something wrong. Had your teeth caught against him? Had you hurt him? Should you pull back and ask, or carry on? Before you can make a decision one way or another, Billy thrusts his fingers back into your throat, pressing them in as deep as he could. His knuckles bump against your back molars as you gag around him, trying desperately to breathe through your nose.

· “Lick Billy’s cunt,” For a moment, you’re still, confusion slicing through the pleasure. Billy tries to press his hand forward, his fingertips brushing against the back of your throat, “Lick it! Lick Billy’s cunt! Lick it! Lick it! Tongue his fffffucking clit!” You think about it for a moment, your exhausted, lust-fogged brain struggling to put two and two together, and then suddenly you think you understand. As gingerly as you can, while Billy continues to rock you forward over the desk, you press your tongue against the soft spot between his knuckles.

· This must have been what he’d wanted because the sound he makes is like nothing you’ve ever heard before—a wail caught somewhere between human and animal. You’ve never heard a human sound like that before. Like so many things about Billy, it’s frightening, and yet it fascinates you, attracts you, arouses you. You press your tongue harder against that spot, and the frantic rocking of his hips picks up again—but this time there’s no rhythm to it. He’s close.

· “Fucking lick Billy’s clit, make him cum! Make him cum in your pretty pussy!” You lap at his flesh with quick, deliberate swipes of your tongue. He howls against your flesh, his forehead thudding against your shoulder heavy and hard. “Fuck, f-f-f-fuck, make Billy fucking cum! Billy’s gonna, he’s-he’s-he’s gonna—!”

· In the moment before he cums everything is calm. He stills, and his voice is soft and steady in your ear; “I’m going to ruin you.”

· Then the world falls back into chaos.

· His whole body shudders above you, a bag of jangling bones he couldn’t keep control of if his life had depended on it. His teeth fix themselves deep into your shoulder, slotting into the indentations they’d left not long before. You cry out around his fingers, sure he’s drawn blood this time. You can see it when you close your eyes, visions of thick red blood splattered against his dark incisors floating against the dark inside of your eyelids.

· He shudders, momentarily stilling, then kicking back into motion, seemingly unable to deicide if he’d rather pound you through his orgasm or remain still, buried to the hilt in your tight heat. You feel the heat of him inside of you pulsing against your walls as he cums. His cheek is pressed tight against your shoulder gibbering a collection nonsensical sounds and snatches of obscenities into your flesh, “Pretty pink cunt! ah, ahhhh, fuuh—fuuuh—fuck! Dripping now! Where did you leave it? Left it fucking dripping!"

· You’re sore beyond belief from the pounding you’ve taken, but there’s still a throbbing want underneath. He’d dragged you most of the way to a second orgasm, now all you needed was a little push. Before you were completely at is mercy, able only to receive the pleasure he decided to give you. But now, your hands were free and with them you could do as you pleased. You wriggle beneath him, slipping your hands down between your thighs.

· Your fingers find their prize, and you sob, your whole body jerking forward. Even though you’d cum mere moments ago, you can’t believe how sensitive you are. You’re on the verge of orgasm almost immediately. You press harder the slide of your fingers aided both Billy’s cum and your own. You shudder, whimpering around his fingers. Your muscles clamp down on him once again, throbbing and pulsing as your orgasm builds.

· He hooks his finger inside of your cheek and pulls, “Wanna cum again. Wanna cum in your mouth,” He pulls harder exposing the sides of your teeth, “Billy wants to feel them! Feel them on his cock! Sharp and hard.” He laughs, “But Billy likes it hard.” The harsh snap of his hips that follows has you seeing spots. He opens his mouth as though to gloat, as you clench around him, he loses his words. Whimpering, soft and broken sounds against your neck, he grinds into you.

· Seconds later, you clamp down around him, a second orgasm shooting through you. The sound he makes as you cum on his oversensitive cock is nothing short of feral. He bucks wildly into you, seeking more of a pleasure that sounds almost painful as he sobs into your shoulder. His cock pulses inside of you again, throbbing as he fucks his cum deeper inside of you, as though intent on giving you more.

· And you’re sure he would. Or he would have, if you hadn’t reached back and pushed against his shoulder. He was insatiable—he’d keep going for hours unless you stop him now.

· He pulls his fingers out first, a pearly string of saliva connecting your lips to his fingertips. You cough, scratchy and wet, but when you speak, there’s no pain. “I…I just need a little break, Bills. Okay?” Your chest is heaving as you struggle for air. Billy hums above you, hesitating for a moment. He’s reluctant to give up the tight heat of your body. But at last, after nearly a full minute of grumbling and mumbling to himself, he pulls out.

· There's a sticky gush of fluids against your thigh as his cum beings to leak out of you. You rest there for a moment, the pair of you breathing hard in the darkness, the comfortable weight of his body pressing down above you, the solid plane of the desktop below. Then all of a sudden, you’re being lifted up. You squeal in shock as your flipped about and placed atop the desk. The surface is still cool against your heated flesh. The difference in temperature is a shock to your system and goosebumps break out across your arms and legs.

· Before you have a moment to process what’s happening, Billy’s head is between your thighs, his tongue lapping at mess he’d made. Your eyes go wide, and you head knocks against a wall as it falls back, “Fuuuuck, Billy!” Your hips cant up against his face, thighs squeezing tight around his ears.

· “Pretty pussy came twice already,” You can feel him smirking against your inner thigh. “Still wants more? Greedy, greedy, greedy.” You catch a glimpse of his eyes, wide and wild, shining in the darkness beneath is tangled hair, “It’s okay, Billy likes you greedy.”

#billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x you #slasher x reader #slasher imagines #ripper fics #hey everyone!#i really hope i caught all the errors #if not you didn't see them-i'll get them soon enough #please enjoy and my apologies again for getting the prompt wrong

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nataliescatorccio · 4 years

Text

becca’s mega coloring tutorial

i’ve gotten a lot of requests recently asking me to make a tutorial for my 'colorporn’ gifsets, and i think i’ve finally gotten over the traumatic incident 3 years ago, when i spent all day writing out a coloring tutorial only to accidentally hit backspace causing the entire thing to be wiped. so, here it is, buckle up folks! it’s going to be a long ride but here’s hoping it’ll be helpful.

so we’ll be going from left side (no coloring) to right (coloring & color porn):

let’s get started! you will need some sort of photoshop in order to do this, i use photoshop cs5 so this tutorial will be based around that, but i imagine you can adapt it for whichever one you use.

this is more of a coloring tutorial than a gif tutorial, but if you’re not sure how to make gifs then this is a pretty good all-encompassing tutorial, although i use 0.05 as my frame delay speed.

we’ll start from your have your basic gif, re-sized cropped and sharpened like so:

step one: curves

so i’m going to start off with basic colouring! the first thing i’m going to do is a curves layer to sort of ‘balance’ the gif out. to do that i go to layers > new adjustment layer > curves. on this window, right next to the graph, are three little droppers. i’m going to click the very bottom one right here:

this basically allows you to set your ‘whitest’ point in the gif, aka the point that should be the brightest. so i then go to my gif and click on the ‘lightest’ point. there’s a lot of light coming in from the top left hand corner of the scene i’ve chosen, so i’m just going to click it on that point (circled below) and that immediately brightens up the scene.

next i’m do something similar, but with the ‘blackest’ or darkest point on the gif. to do that i’m going to use the very top color picker:

and i’m then going to hit what the blackest point to balance out the light:

what this is basically doing is using your white and black points as color markers to not only brighten and darken the gif in places, but it also acts as a sort of color balancer. it’s very common that shows put a sort of colored ‘filter’ over their scenes, for example the scene i’ve picked has a sort of yellowish filter over the top. you might find that some scenes it doesn’t really affect, but others it makes a tremendous difference. personally i like doing this to get back to a ‘neutral’ ground on the scene, which is particularly useful when we are taking a scene with a warmer color tone (yellow) and trying to make it a cooler tone (purple).

if you are using a darker scene you may have to put a brightness/contrast layer on before you can complete this step, or even add an auto curves layer (hit the ‘auto' button on that same window) before you have a ‘white’ and ‘black’ spot to work on. i love this trick but this is precisely why i say i have no ‘general psd’ because it is entirely scene specific! but here we are at the end of step 1:

step 2: basic coloring

i’m just going to add a few adjustments to round off my basic coloring! i added just a little increase in curves to make the gif a little brighter (a), added a levels layer to enhance the contrast (b), and added some color balance. for this i worked with adding magenta and yellow tones to enhance the skin tones in the gif. i also made the midtones a bit more ‘purply’ (c) (as this is the end colour i want to achieve) and also did the same for the shadows (d).

for a darker gif i would probably add more curves and an additional brightness/contrast layer. color balance is also a really important tool to just play around with, ‘warmer’ scenes need more cyan/blue balance, while ‘colder’ scenes need more yellow/magenta balance. our final product is:

step 3: painting colors

if you wanted, you could probably leave your gif right there, but i like colors and i’m going to embrace them!

now there are three methods that i bounce between and they really depend on the type of gif you’re working with. an ideal scene would have a strong background color (see step 4) already for you to work with, but the truth is the majority of scenes don’t. as this scene is fairly neutral in background coloring, you’ll see we can’t just use selective colors to get the purple we want, so instead we’re going to do something a bit different. warning: this method won’t work for scenes with a lot of movement! for that you need step 4 or step 5.

first, something i always do with colored gifs, is i add a gradient map layer of black + a light shade of the final color i am trying to achieve, like so:

i then set this layer to ‘soft light’ and lower it to an opacity that i think suits. for this gif i lowered it to 20%.i think this makes the darker colors a little more ‘purply’ and overall gives a smoother affect what we’ll do next.

next is the fun part! we’re going to start adding in the purple. to do this, we want to create a new layer right at the bottom of all your coloring layers, so sandwiched between the actual gif and your first curves layer. then i grab my paint brush (you want one with the blurred edges, not a solid brush), use the same purple tone i selected for the gradient mask and paint around yen’s face and body.

i like to split my left and right side into separate layers. this is because i like to use a large paintbrush to solidly paint the left hand side of the gif, and then use a large eraser to get rid of the color from her face/body. the larger eraser you use, the smoother it looks (i’m not saying try and use a 600px eraser, just a 100px rather than a 10px creates a better effect). now it looks like this:

don’t worry that it looks very white, that’s just because it’s under all the curves layers! so now all i do is change it from normal, to multiply, and as you can see we have a nice purple background:

repeat this process for the right hand side:

you may find that if you’re working with a darker gif, setting these layers to ‘hue’ or ‘color’ is better. and again, the opacity may need a bit of playing around with. remember it’s ok to play around with effects and what might work for one gif will not work for another just because scenes and lighting vary!

then i just painted a line across the bottom, over her chest area, and lowered this to a 41% opacity. this just helped to enhance the purple feel of the gif. now we’re left with:

so a few finishing touches, i noticed that there was a spot by her right arm that as she moves, exposes a bit more of a ‘yellowish’ band. to fix this, at the top of all my coloring layers, but under the gradient map, i added a layer and just put a small purple dot on top with my paintbrush, and set the layer to ‘color’.

lastly, i wanted to make the right side a deeper purple, so i used selective colors to manipulate the magentas to the shade i wanted. then with the layer mask, painted black over the right hand side of the gif so it didn’t affect this coloring.

and there we have it! i have my finished gif!

tips: sometimes it’s nice to enhance lighter and darker parts of the gif further. i didn’t with this one as i already thought the natural lighting did it well enough, but of course this might not always be the case!

while i liked the coloring of this gif, i wanted a bit more variation in the purple tones. so, under all the coloring layers again, i painted some black on the right hand side, set this to softlight, and played with the opacity (it ended up on 65%). then added another purple layer on the right hand side, but set this to overlay instead and again lowered the opacity (to 58%) and got this:

you can play around with this to get different tones, and you can even change the color of what you’re painting on to create a gradient effect! for example, if i change the black softlight layer to a dark blue, and the overlay purple layer to a lighter pink, i get this:

and then you can use blue and magenta selective colors to play around with that even more. it’s all about experimenting and seeing what works!

step 4: selective colors

to do this method, you need to have a gif that has a strong background color. it doesn’t matter what that color is, or even if it has two, but it doesn’t work well with a netural background. for example this gif (which i’ve already done my base coloring on), is perfect to work with:

as we can see it’s very yellow in the background which is perfect! so the first thing i’m going to do is is create a new hue/saturation layer, set this to ‘color’ and then on the drop down menu change the color to ‘yellow’. from here i just dragged the hue bar till it was pink/purple.

because i’m working with yellow, which is a skin tone, we find that her skin has also gone pink. now i don’t really want this effect as i’d like her to look natural! so all i’m going to do is grab my black brush, paint on the layer mask, and erase this from her face. this won’t be so much of a problem if you’re adjusting cool tones, such as blues or greens.

i then used some selective colors to adjust the magentas and the same ‘tip’ i used for step 3 to add a little bit of gradient variation and all done!

step 5: all the time in the world

sometimes, you have scenes that won’t conform to either of the two methods listed. either they have too much movement for step 3 to work, or too neutral a background, or the selective colors won’t work for the overall color of the gifset. also, if you’re working with something of a yellow background with a lot of movement, the selective color method doesn’t work great because it ends up disturbing the skin tone of the person you’re giffing.

for example, for this gif i did all the steps in step 3, and got this:

now i love the coloring, but it’s messy. the movement of her hand means that her hand dips in and out of the yellow, but leaves background exposed.and the turn of her head means half her head ends up yellow. so instead of giving up, because i am a stubborn bitch, i take my yellow layers i’d painted on, merge them into one and start coloring them frame by frame.

to do this i adjust the timing of the yellow layer to fit each scene, and fill in/erase the yellow around yennefer as required. it ends up looking a bit like this:

i must say this can be pretty time consuming. it’s fine for shorter gifs, but it doesn’t work for a gif with a lot of frames. i don’t mind cos i just do this in the background while watching a movie, but it’s not for everyone. you might just prefer to play around with selective colors as in step 4, but you also might find if you’re adjusting warm skin colors, that you’ll need to use a layer mask frame by frame to still get the clean affect you want!

anyway, i added a slight yellow layer set to ‘hue’ over her dress to round it all off, and after coloring it frame by frame i got the affect i wanted:

obviously if you did all gifs like this it would take all week, but in mixing all three techniques i end up creating the sets i want!

the end

and that’s it, i hope this has actually semi-made sense and is of help. if you have any further questions or points you want elaborating on please feel free to ask! a lot of this takes time, practice and experimenting, so my biggest tip is just be patient and play around with what works for you :)

#fyeahps #completeresources #itsphotoshop #coloring tutorial #gif tutorial #i can't even remember who's asked for this except for everyone but i hope it actually helps?? and lives up to your expectations??#saved this every 5 seconds due to paranoia lol #tutorial #tutorials #ps help #1k

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writing-wh0re · 4 years

Note

Hi I saw your prompt list can you do 9, 18, 22 for draco malfoy plzz. fluff & smut

All writings will be #writing-wh0re-requests.

I have so many requests in my inbox and I couldn’t be happier, a lot of blurbs and stories are coming your way so keep an eye out!

Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader.

This is my first Draco Malfoy fic, a little longer that I originally thought, hope you enjoy it!

Word Count: 1,574k

Prompt’s requested:

9 - “Did he do this?”

18 - “You just don’t get it, do you?”

22- “You think it’s funny to tease me?”

Warnings: Smut 18+, Fluff, Angst(?), Vaginal Intercourse, Male Recieving Oral, Explicit Language.

Walking around the Malfoy manor seems to take my breath away everytime, the grandest rooms merely lit by the windows, however being night time, it creates an eerier shadow of darkness.

“Y/n, we’re glad you came to spend the holidays with us, we have some big things planned.” Narcissa smiles, opening her arms to give me a light hug, something that shocked me the first time it occurred, not expecting to receive any affections from either of Draco’s parents.

“Yes, Y/n, tomorrow you’ll be joining us at the table with the dark lord and he is very excited to meet a fellow Slytherin.” Lucius states, looking behind me as I turn slightly, feeling a sense of comfort washing over me as Draco places his hand on the middle of my back.

“We will leave you two be.” Narcissa says, looping her arm through Lucius as they walk out of the living room.

“Come with me.” Draco whispers, pulling me behind him. We walk through the manor, going up the stairs and towards his room, one I am very familiar with.

“I’ve missed you.” Draco quickly closes his bedroom door as I smirk, pushing him against it lightly, kissing him as I start to unbutton his white dress shirt. “I think someone has also missed me.” I nod not trusting my voice as I run my hands over his bare chest as I move my lips to his neck, sucking and biting the soft skin as he lets his moans fill the air.

“Draco, your parents will hear us.” I whisper as he scoffs.

“I don’t care.”

I smirk against his skin as I kiss down his body, resting on my knees as I start to undo his belt. Draco helps me fumble with his pants zipper as I pull off my shirt, leaving me in a black lace bra.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” Draco whispers, placing his hand under my chin as I feel the blush hit my cheeks. I take his long and thick cock into my hand as I start to pump him, causing him to throw his head back against the door, a pleasure filled sigh falling from his lips. I softly lick the tip, trailing my tongue down the sides as he runs his hands through my hair as I smirk, knowing he is getting fed up with this teasing.

“You think it’s funny to tease me?”

Before I can say a witty remark, he pulls my hair causing my head to fall back as my mouth opens a little wider, allowing for him to slide his dick into my mouth, our eyes never leaving each other as he softly thrusts in and out of my mouth. I swirl my tongue around him as he bites his lip holding back a few moans as I hollow out my cheeks.

“Bed, now.” Draco demands as he shuffles out of his pants and pulls off his shirt. I get onto his soft queen sized bed, attempting to wiggle out of my skirt as he stops me, shaking his head. “Keep it on.” I smirk as I pull him down to me, kissing him as he unclasp’s my bra, cupping my bare breast in his hand, kneading it as I moan for him.

“Please, I need you.”

Draco chuckles at my small beg, kissing down my body as he moves my panties to the side.

“You’re dripping baby.” I wiggle under his touch, thrusting my hips up in an attempt to get some type of contact. “Needy little thing aren’t you.”

Before I can beg again, Draco slides inside me, my walls instantly clenching around him as I hiss in pleasure. “So fucking tight.” I arch my back slightly as he thrusts into me, getting deeper every time.

Draco leans over my body, kissing my neck as I run my fingernails down his back. Wrapping my legs around him, pulling him closer to me as we both moan at the new angle.

“Just like that.” I whimper, feeling my walls start to tighten around his length.

“Cum for me baby, I’m close.”

I feel Draco’s lips attack the sweet spot on my neck, leaving a mark as I moan his name loud, my walls fluttering around his cock as he groans, thrusting a few more times before holding me close and cumming inside of me.

“I-I love you.” I stutter, being the first proper time to say it outloud. The silence that floods the air is sickening as I feel my heart pound almost out of my chest as I look over at Draco who appears to be lost in thought. I huff, not wanting the tears that prick my eyes to fall as I shuffle off the bed, picking up my disregarded clothes and attempting to get dressed.

“Y/n, baby.” Draco sighs as I stop, looking at him, his face flushed and eyes unreadable. “I-Uh, you know this is hard for me.” I nod softly, biting my lip.

“I know.” I whisper, tears starting to softly fall down my face as Draco stands, pulling me into a hug.

“I l-love you.” I gasp as he kisses my head, holding me tighter as I keep my arms wrapped around his torso. Without another word being said, Draco slips off my skirt, handing me his old quidditch jersey and pulling me into bed beside him.

-----

I wake up in the morning tucked up in Draco’s blanket as I feel his spot beside me, empty and cold. I sigh softly as I get out of the comfortable bed, throwing on a pair of black jeans and a black turtle neck as I throw my hair into a ponytail. I make my way through the manor hearing a crowd of voices, I walk into the grand dining room, all eyes falling on me. My eyes scan around the room spotting Draco next to Lucius, pain all over his features causing my heart to sink.

“And who might you be?” I hear a chilling voice say, the woman coming face to face with me as I recognise her to be none other than Bellatrix Lestrange.

“This is Y/n Y/L/N, Draco’s girl.” Narcissa quickly rushes to my side as her sister looks me up and down, a wicked smile covering her face as she pulls my turtle neck down, looking at the love bite.

Bellatrix places her hand under my chin, sucking her teeth “Quiet special then, aren't you girly.” I keep my eyes trained on hers, not wanting to cower away. As Lucius can be heard whispering, causing Bellatrix to turn and look at the scene. Lucius appears to be scolding Draco. The room fills with laughter, Bellatrix’s laughter. “Leave the boy alone! You’re acting like you and sissy are saints.” I hear Narcissa gasp rushing to Lucius and pulling him aside, leaving Draco by himself. Before I can make my way over to Draco, a chill runs down my spin as a booming voice fills the dark room.

“Sit!” I see the darklord himself, a chill filling the room as he pulls out the chair at the head of the table. I make my way over to Draco, sitting beside him as Narcissa sits on my right, Lucius on Draco’s left. The dark lord begins to talk as I zone out, slightly terrified and uncomfortable. Draco placing his hand on my thigh, his thumb running against the fabric of my jeans.

What I presume is halfway through the darklords meeting, I hear him mention Draco’s name as I start to pay closer attention.

“We must finally welcome Draco.” I feel chills hit my body as I look at Draco, his eyes looking everywhere but me.

I keep my mouth closed not wanting to start anything at this table. The meeting concluding on Lucius offering his wand to kill Harry Potter, to which the darklord wasn’t as happy about.

After everyone stands from the table, I walk out of the room, trying to make sense of the welcome Draco received.

“Y/n.” I hear a soft whisper, I turn and see Draco as he pulls me into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you.” Draco whispers as I push out of our hug.

“Tell me what Draco, you’re planning on killing our classmate, what else happened?”

“This.” Draco rolls up his sleeve showing me a fresh dark mark.

“Did he do this?”

“I wanted him to do it.”

I scoff, my face forming a frown as I step back from Draco, his decision scaring me slightly.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Draco steps closer to me as my back hits a wall. “I have to do this, he gave me an ultimatum.” I raise an eyebrow as I feel no words form.

“Ultimatum?”

“My father offered you, I did this for us, for you.” I feel my heart pound as tears fill my eyes. “I love you, I have to protect you, this war, it will kill lots of wizards and you’re not going to be one of them.” Draco places his hand on my face as he kisses me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I kiss Draco’s soft lips as he sighs.

“I’m sorry you’re on this side of it all.”

“I’m with you, that’s all I ask for.”

Taglist:

@andreaareynoso

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

#writing-wh0re-requests #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #anon request #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy request #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy x fem!reader #draco malfoy fluff #harry potter requests #darco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy blurb #draco malfoy rec

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inlovewithhisblueeyes · 4 years

Text

Stuck in Your Head

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: ~2.7K

Warnings: Descriptive Depressive Episode and Discussions about Prescription Medications (specifically missing doses and having side effects)

A/N: This is my first time writing RPF so I decided to stick with something I know well. I substituted my own best friend’s name in so I didn’t have to deal with the pesky acronyms cluttering the story.

Buried underneath the covers, you were safe even though sleep continued to elude you. The chill of the morning was unable to pierce the walls of your blanket fortress. While the soft pitter-pattering of rain on your window would normally be able to lull you to dreamland, you were left to watch the rise and fall of the fabric.

Early daylight had danced its way across the room a millennia ago. No matter how deep you burrowed into your little nest, the light would seep through. So you tucked your head underneath your pillow and fought the urge to continuously check your phone. Watching time tick past would only make these growing frustrations and anxieties worse.

You remained curled up with your knees close to your chest, willing your hands to stop their shaking. All those exercises you had been taught in therapy seemed fruitless. Nothing could alleviate this numbness that had settled in your bones. Time continued to pass as you laid there, only daring to leave your bed’s warm embrace when your bladder was screaming in agony.

The spot where you laid never had to the time to cool. You were always sucked right back to it in record time like every episode before. Brain fog would cause the same thing every time. The days would seem to just blend into one another, a cycle of light and shadows that would chase each other around the ceiling. You would have no idea if you took your meds, what day it was, or even the last time you ate. Time would be nonexistent in your little blanketed world.

A soft vzzzzt came from outside your safe zone. Moving your hand slightly, you could just barely feel the vibrations of your phone. You paused as you tried to decide if you had enough energy to answer. It was most likely unimportant, another robocall about some silly matter. Sighing heavily, you drew your hand back to its previous position.

Silence fell over the room once more and you breathed a sigh of relief. You forced your eyes shut in hopes that you could finally sleep. Not more than a few moments passed before the quiet was broken yet again. The soft vzzzzt returned, requiring you to begrudgingly open your eyes. You hissed as you slowly rolled over, just enough to reach over and drag your phone under the covers with you.

You flipped your phone over as your best friend’s face filled up the screen. You know you should answer it, but you didn’t want to worry her. Ariel has enough going on without you dragging her into your shit. You quickly shot off one of those automated responses saying you’re busy and you’ll call back later before declining the call.

Carefully shoving your phone back out from under your blanket pile, you tried once more to adjust and get comfy. Finally, it seemed that the sleep you craved is upon you. You yawned before nestling your head deeper into your pillow and letting your eyes fall shut.

You woke up sometime later and noticed that the bedroom is almost completely dark. You dare to glance at your phone and it’s only 6 pm. Stiff limbs quickly made themselves known as you tried to stretch. They crack and pop as you finally moved them, each crying out desperately for motion.

Slowly you sit up and allow yourself to slip out from your burrito. Every movement feels as if you’re wading through an endless pool of molasses. You rise to feet carefully and your knees buckle as they wake up to support you. Ambling towards the kitchen, you tried to scrounge up the desire for anything other than a few mints.

Your pickings are rather slim. Even then everything would take longer than you know you have the energy to stand for. Huffing as you grabbed handful of mints before you make your back to bed. You crawled back into bed, grabbing your laptop in hopes you can find someway to pass the next round of sleepless.

Popping a mint in your mouth and scrolling through the various entertainment options, you happened across a show you know very well. Another time you might have smiled at your luck. Of course it recommends something that he was in. Rolling over to grab your phone, you unlock it to check what time it is over there.

2 am the clock answered. You swallowed the lump in your throat, remembering what he said last time.

“I don’t care what time it is. If you need me, call. I’d do anything for you. “

You glance at the clock once more and you lose your nerve.

“He’s halfway across the world right now and under enough stress. You’ll talk to him again when Friday comes around” you rationalize internally, “That’s more than 3 days away. You’ll be back to your usual by then. You always are.”

You shake your head and push the phone off the bed. Tucking an arm under your head and curling your knees to your chest, placing your laptop on top of them. You settle in with Forensic Files, hoping that Peter Thomas’s voice will eventually get you more sleep.

Sleep doesn’t come. You’ve lost count of how many episodes of Forensic Files that you’ve watched. All of them have blurred together. Once again the sun’s rays slowly painted your room in an array of reds, oranges, and finally yellows. Two more rounds of soft vzzzzt that go unanswered cause you to retreat back under the blankets once more.

For how long you remain there is unknown. All you known is that you’re forced to get up by your throbbing bladder. Then you’re back in your bed, curled up around a pillow and begging for sleep to come. Your body is sore, your mind is all fogged up, and by the time you do feel sleepy, the sun must be high in the sky.

Here's to another day of waking up after the sun has set. Daylight Savings Time is a bitch. There’s no use in checking your phone. You stretched and tried to sum up the strength to move your feet, knowing you need to at least try to make your way to the kitchen. Each step causes a shooting pain in your underused appendages.

Leaning against the counter, you grabbed a package of Cup Ramen from the cabinet. Not the healthiest choice, but the one that will take the shortest amount of time to cook. Adding the water and setting it in the microwave is the easiest part; having the strength to wait the 3 minutes to cook is the hardest.

Anxiety seeps in as you watched the timer go down. Tapping your fingers against your thigh, you tried to pass the time without throwing yourself into an anxiety attack. Finally, the microwave beeps and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You opened the microwave and quickly stirred the contents of the cup together.

You make the trip back to the bed that’s been calling your name since you left. Although you’re not hungry, you have to try to eat. You ate earlier right?....Your stomach hadn’t give any indication of hunger. You ate as much as you could stomach before leaving the unfinished meal beside your bed.

Grabbing your laptop, you scrolled through for something, anything to distract you. In a moment of clarity, you remembered that last time he mentioned a nature documentary which he said you should watch. You found it easily and turned it on, curling your body around your laptop. In your bones, the numbness reared it’s ugly head once more.

The animals in documentary didn’t cause you to laugh at their antics like they usually would. You had to pause it. You felt like you were drowning in this void. What once might have been enough to drag you out of the darkness, no longer could do so. You had been doing so well; going to your appointments and working on coping with your trauma only for the empty pit to gobble you up once more.

Screwing your eyes shut as you take in one shaky breath after the other. Whatever strength that was left in your tired limbs, you willed to help get you through. You needed to be fine, he needed you to be fine. Every inch of you shook with hurt and sorrow as sleep waded in and out of your mind. It took forever to succumb.

A gentle chime woke you from your fitful sleep. You laid underneath your mountain of blankets and watched the gentle rise and fall that came with every breath you took. You blinked a few times as you attempted to stretch out your body. The chime had stopped by the time you were finally able to peak your head from where it was tangled in your cocoon.

The noise had emanated from your laptop. You inwardly curses yourself because you only know what that means. You left yourself logged into Skype and you reached a hand over to check who called. However, as soon as you did, the chime started up again, his name flashed on your screen.

A sob threatened to break loose from your lips. It couldn’t have been Friday already. Skype dates only happened on Friday and Saturdays, that was your routine. You glanced around your room and contemplated slamming your laptop closed. Based on the colors of the sun that painted your bedroom’s walls, it was early, much too early for his call.

Deep down you knew he would keep calling until you responded and as much as it pained you to do so, you had to give into him. You moved the cursor to hover over the accept button. With a deep breath, you clicked accept. You waited for the swoosh that always came before his face filled the screen.

You couldn’t face him like this. He didn’t deserve this. Your stomach was already upset, it didn’t need your anxiety making it worse. Burying your face in your hands, you heard the tell-tale noise that the call connected.

“Darling, there you are,” he exclaimed.

You had no choice but to peek between your fingers to see his smiling face. He looked so happy and full of light. You couldn’t dare to bring him down from his high. He was worthy of so much more, someone who wasn’t empty. Surely he could see that.

“As much as I’d love to talk your lovely hands, I’d rather talk to that face of yours.”

“Hen-“ Your voice cracked from not being used in so long.

“Please,” He begged.

Every inch of your body quaked, the inevitable was here. He would see you, see how broken and lost you were, and wouldn’t be able to take it. The expiration date for your time together was today.

“Please, sweetheart.” He tried again, his voice no louder than a whisper.

You shook your head in silent agreement to his plea. Trembling, your hands pealed away from your face and finally you saw your boyfriend’s face fully. Messy curls were strewn across his forehead and there was an inkling of stubble making an appearance on his face. His eyes were bright and warm as always. You could just barely make out the brown amongst the blue at the top of his left eye.

“There you are,” Henry murmured, his voice dropping an octave.

“Hen-“

“Shhhh... I know it’s not Friday but I wanted to see you. Ariel was worried. I was worried.”

“I’m so sorry-” You started as you felt tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, love. I’m happy to see your face. I would ask how you are, but I think I know. Have you been taking your meds?”

“I don’t remember. All I know my stomach is a bit upset,” you whispered as the first hot tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I’d reckon it’s been a few days then,” Henry sighed, ”Do you think could get up and make some green tea? That’s always helped in the past.”

You groaned, flopping backwards onto your bed. A few moments pass by in silence as you weighed your options.

“I can try.”

“That’s all I’m asking for, sweetheart,” admitted the blue eyed man,” How about you bring me with you?”

You nodded slowly. Henry was always good at reading you. It seemed that regardless of the distance between the two of you and the blurriness of the camera, his skill hadn’t waned. He knew you so well and right now you were thankful for that. There was so much you couldn’t say right now, you didn’t have the energy nor the clarity to do so.

Stretching your arms above your head, you winced at the stiffness in them. You had to do this, you had to fight that little voice in your head. You carefully moved yourself to the edge the bed. Taking a much needed deep breath, you forced your aching body to sit up. Gently, after a few moments, you maneuvered yourself to stand on your feet.

You glanced over at your computer screen and saw nothing but pride and encouragement in his blue eyes. It gave you the required push to grab your laptop and make your way towards the kitchen, tired body be damned. Normally, you feel safe and content in the silence with him. The freezing emptiness that had made it’s home amongst your bones and mortal flesh flourished in it.

“How’s filming going?” You croaked.

Henry was quick to fill the crushing silence “Remember that scene I mentioned to you last time…” His hearty timbre warming the outermost parts of your mind. Puttering around the kitchen, you put the kettle on and grabbed your favorite mug while listening. He could be speaking about blue-footed boobies and you would still be rapt.

Sooner than you would of liked, the kettle sung it’s annoying little tune. Carefully, you snatched it off the stove and poured into the waiting mug. You dropped the teabag in and leaned up against the counter. Glancing over at the computer, you saw Henry watching you with a smile on his face.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Henry beamed.

You tried to blink away the tears that remained in your eyes. “I boiled water. Nothing too special about that.”

“You know what I mean.”

Shakily setting the down the mug, you forced yourself to take some deep breaths, but it does nothing to stop the onslaught of tears. They blazed in hot trails down your cheeks.

“My brain doesn’t work, Hen. The fog sets in and it’s like I can’t do the simplest tasks. I can’t even just go through the motions,” You sobbed

“Oh, darling,” his voice barely a whisper and your gaze remained on the floor, arms wrapped around your quaking form.

“Nothing’s working…. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I don’t even feel alive anymore. Just empty and cold all the time.”

Silence fell over the two of you once again; only being pierced by your shuddering breaths as you tried regain control. It took a few moments to calm yourself. You brushed away the remaining tears and finally glance up at him.

“I’m sorry,” You murmured.

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize. I know you’re struggling. I’m worried about you being all alone right now with everything that’s going on,” Henry admitted,” How about you ask Ariel to come stay with you? Just until I finish filming.”

“I…I can do that.”

“I want you to know you don’t have to stick to our schedule. I know you like the consistency it brings, but I don’t mind if you call other times, love. I’d be happy to hear your voice more often.”

Nodding your head, you grabbed your abandoned tea and took a sip. “I love you, Henry.”

“I love you too. We’re in this together, us against the problem.”

Somehow his words seemed to pierce at the remaining chill in your body. He was exactly what you needed, your lighthouse in the storm. No matter how far apart you may be, you’ll always find your way back to his loving embrace.

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