몽생미셸 해변의 남자 PART 3 | Man on the shores of Mont Saint Michel PART 3
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Of many days and seasons, of storm and sun, I have crept into the deity's arms.
I know nothing of what we are.
Are we lovers?
Are we to each's comfort of pain?
That blue, that feeling.
I grow buds of emotions I cannot make myself name.
I believe and the next day, I do not.
"Out of all the things to be, why mortal?" He sighs one day, his hand in my hair and my head on his chest. "You cannot be alike I." He mourns. "I cannot be human."
The god I've come to worship sobbed, pearls stringing out of his eyes. The eyes I love so; cries for my demise.
"I hate you so, I do." He wails, holding me tightly. "But in all that matters, you live, you die, and I will love you again."
"Oh, you love me, don't you? You love me." He hopes aloud, and I have come to silently agree with what I have felt for so long since.
"Till the day the depths rise, only you." I promised him.
He loved me, "To err is this love, but you are divine."
"And I find you divine," I love back, "The Abbey will not love and worship you, but I will."
And for what I could remember as I drowned in the ocean of bliss, we loved.
By: Kang Jae-Ho
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몽생미셸 해변의 남자 PART 4 | Man on the shores of Mont Saint Michel PART 4
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"Do you not love god?" The caretaker asks me, his voice cruel. "Dieu will see to it you will burn in hell if you do not follow the Abbey's wishes." He threatens.
I do love god.
He is in the sea.
"I gain nothing." I spoke, bitter and empty. "Let me love no other." I plead and prayed.
"Who do you love?" The caretaker searches.
"A man. A man in the sea beyond." I truthfully say.
"A man?" He echoes, "You've dirtied yourself with filth from the main land?"
"He is no filth!" I thundered, "He is of divinity and he loves me as so do I."
"You will have nothing to do with this man no longer." He sternly tells me and I fall to my knees, forehead in the dirt as I prayed.
"Do not take him from me." I begged, "I will lose my life if he is gone from me."
I pray in a crazed frenzy in hopes to gain mercy, but my caretaker's heart is stone cold and wicked, for he dismisses my tears. "Wear the dress." He tells me, "You will wed the blacksmith's son."
I can only cry and run.
I have lost a fight worth of my life.
I am coming to terms and truth I am no worthy lover of a beautiful god if I cannot fight for our wonderful love.
My heart twists and bleeds as the Translucent One greets me with a salty kiss. His lips spoke to mine, how he has hurt in waiting for me.
And my heart broke right in front of me as I push the beautiful creature away.
"I can love you no longer." I tell, and I cannot bear to look at the hurt in his eyes and the fury in his face.
"Why...?" Anger laces his voice, covering the heartbreak within.
"I am to wed another." I confess, "I cannot wed another and love another."
"It was me." He murmurs in sorrow, "It was supposed to be me you would marry." He cries.
The god screams, "How could you? How could you destroy something so beautiful, so wonderful, so lovely?"
His thousands of tails crash and flick against the sand and sea, and thunders shattered across the skies and lightning scratches the clouds. "I may be the Monstrous Thing of everything Beneath, but you are more of a monster than I."
I can only say nothing, what was once an ocean of bliss, was now an ocean of sorrow and we drowned in it.
"How dare you make me think you loved me?" He spits, "How dare you make me hope you are mine."
And the eyes of the god I loved was nothing but grey. "I hate you, you terrible, ugly monster."
And with those words, he slips away from the sand. His magnificent tails slithering away, and he was gone.
My knees buckle and I drop to the sand. Pearls strewn all around me and I can only weep.
A beautiful flower comes to die, and that was our love.
By: Kang Jae-Ho
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몽생미셸 해변의 남자 PART 6 끝 | Man on the shores of Mont Saint Michel PART 6 END
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And with news as fast as the wind can carry around the island, I am of child.
But it is only I who holds the truth.
This child I carry is not of mortal love, but a love divine.
My heart has long been crushed to dust, and dust cannot be pieced back, for the wind has blown it away; lest someone collects the scattered dust and regain a way to make me love again.
Love is foreign and odd. I once tasted its ambrosia, and never again after staining it with my filth.
I have cried for my loss, and when I have run out of tears, I opted to bleed.
I have made myself believe and to always will; pray that I will never see my beautiful lover ever again. The disgust in his eyes is the last thing I will ever want to see in my remaining time.
He has punished me. Leaving me with only memories, and memories are the worst torture of them all.
My heart aches when my eyes drift to the sea.
I can only bring myself to admire and whisper to the ripples, comforting them as I lay by the shoreline as they as they cry in pain when their bodies crash against the sand.
And they comfort me too.
Now with child, I am in turmoil. Terrible turmoil.
No child deserves to live a life where their mother is incapable of love.
No child deserves to have a husk for a mother.
This baby of mine, they will be beautiful. Formed from divine and impossibilities.
How I wished my child's father would look at the blubbering little joy with glee.
The child shall live, I have come to the decision.
And what of me? Dieu knows.
Odes of seasons pass, and the most beautiful creature cries in my face.
Iridescent scales glimmer in his skin when light kisses him. His hair as translucent as the finest sheen, white fabric; as pale as a spirit, and as fine as clouds in a midday.
Husband I've married is tied down and speechless at the sight of my beautiful, wonderful, and lovely baby.
I need not any of his words, for he can silently answer himself that the offspring in my arms is no child of his.
"Will you watch him with no resentment?" I tell him one night.
"I can never resent a child, for he holds no sins." The man I married weeps in despair. "The mother of the child; the tree that bore the fruit however," And he looked at me in misery, "More than anything, I want to hate you, but how can I? When this sin has happened before you were mine."
Whatever rubble was left of what I am has crumbled into his feet.
"I have not been the wife Dieu would ever wish for a man like you to have." I cry. "I, unfairest of all wives. Fit for the Abbey to stone to death."
"Of who's child is it that you bore?"
I confess, "He is of the Ocean's." My hands clench his tired hands in desperation. "Morrow come, word will spread of my son that he is of the Devil's and the Abbey will be at our home's door."
"Then we leave the island tonight." My husband suggests in alarm. "No harm must come to the child, he is innocent."
"And I will see to it you and he are safe." I promised, and this time, I will even end my own life to see it come true.
"And what of you?" He holds me.
And with a smile I've never smiled was all he received he shook his head and held me tight. "No, I forbid you."
"I am only paying for my sins. You and the boy, however, have done nothing evil, yet I have." His tears, I collect with my fingers. "Take the boy and hide in the mainland. Live in merriment, and mould him into a good man."
Tears and money spilled the floor as I hastily packed everything my husband and son needed for their journey. I've seen to it they will live in comfortable bliss in the mainland, far away from me and my sins. Not one coin in the house was left, all kept safe in the winesack.
The boat floats, awaiting for them at the bay. My precious baby wrapped in warm sheets, I press a loving kiss to his head. Sorrow embraces my form as I have come to the realisation I will never be there for when he first opens his eyes.
Will he have his father's?
Or will he have mine?
This baby I hold, this precious blessing, he will live in the happiness I could not have. He will continue the life I had lost.
And when morrow comes, he will live.
And I will not.
My dear husband I have mistreated with no love looks at me with woe present in his eyes.
"I bless you, Bastien." I tell him in peace, "You will love again, and this time, you will know true happiness in this new life."
"I can forgive you, come with us and live." He begs me, and I refused.
"I am not deserving of forgiveness. Not when I can break something so beautiful again." I narrate in grief. "Live." And they were gone.
Morrow rises in the East, and as the cock crows as early. My eyes tread upon the waters I have loved...
Overlooking the beauty I have destroyed.
The Abbey will not find me.
They will not lay their hands upon my son, they will not lay their hands on my husband.
And they will never lay a finger on me.
I will do it for them.
The skirts I wore whipped and cried in the breeze, like watercolour staining the wind.
The string of pearls in my neck, I handle with love.
Here I am, with everything that I have left, will be then just a memory.
And I think back for one last time, everything I have cherished. Where I can only lie to myself in the form of a wish; that I was a cherished memory to him too.
And the wind blows against my hair as it cradles me. Whistling in my ears. My body loved.
And as I lay cold and motionless in the jagged rocks, the waves cried and drank my blood.
"Oh! mother, Oh! mother, Oh! mother. You have loved us so, do not go." The water cries in my ears.
The water holds me in its arms and I wished it was his instead.
"Your groom, what of him? He will be creature of the depths, bound to be a creature of woebegone." The salt persuades me.
"My groom..." I sigh in a dream, "What a wonderful thing he would be to me."
And as I closed my eyes, my life slips past the skirts I wore.
My soul dancing in the sea's memories and mine's.
I was a swan, and now I am swimming in the Mont Saint Michel bay.
What I had with the Translucent Wonder was a love dream.
A beautiful thing, a painting.
Something so lovely should never be kept a secret.
It should be known, it should be told.
Our love may have drowned in the bay and embedded in its sand, but with people who have come to know our story, our love will live on.
Our love is art.
By: Kang Jae-Ho
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