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divinepoints · 1 month ago

Text

the heart of the matter.

pairing: john walker x reader

summary: Your problems with John Walker reach a boiling point. Bucky Barnes meddles.

word count: 5.8k

warnings: kind of vague suicidal ideation that's not ever acted on. john is a dick. reader is also kind of a dick. bucky meddles. so much swearing in here your toes might curl. i've never done a reader-insert before so i'm bad at this. this is me showing you my metaphorical fanfic dick please respond

a/n: as hinted above, this is my first foray into the reader-insert game. constructive criticism is welcome but if all you have in your heart is haterism please keep the thoughts inside. exes to lovers kind of except the ending is vague. follow up definitely possible. i don't really take requests but you're more than welcome to drop some thoughts/ideas in my inbox and if inspo strikes i will oblige. uhhh that's all i think? john walker girlies rise. stalking the tag is what brought me to this.

(also, not edited because i can't be bothered since this is all in good fun)

You had never thought that life would lead you back to John Walker. Or perhaps, that life had led the both of you back to each other. After all, this had been your world first.

You’d been an unfortunate accident long before anyone thought there would be a need for a successor to Steve Rogers. It wasn’t really worth recounting, given it happened as so many things did, something in a lab went wrong, and it broke you. Okay. Maybe broke wasn’t the word. It had changed you into something simultaneously greater and far worse. Whatever. It hardly mattered at this point. What mattered was that it was odd someone from your small, bullshit town had become an Avenger, odder still that it had been you. You hadn’t thought there was anymore odd to go around.

(You were deeply, deeply misguided.)

It had never truly been decided amongst you, Bucky, and Sam whether John had been picked partly because of you (John himself would insist it had nothing to do with it). Bucky was one-hundred percent convinced it had been done on purpose. It’s easier to swallow, he’d said, because people know how close you were with Steve, and since you and Walker have… a past.

Calling it a past was generous. You’d dated in high school, when you were a little dumber and he a little less obnoxious, then he’d enlisted and you’d gone off to college. It was an almost entirely expected and underwhelming end to what had been a classic high school relationship. It was hardly a past, it had really just been growing pains. With Steve, however, it was an on-again off-again situationship that felt far too juvenile at your big age, but had gone unexpectedly public.

So now you were the woman who had dated not one, but two Captain Americas, even if you were quick to insist that John had been little more than captain of the football team at the time. The general public had eaten it up when John was given the shield and still now, while Valentina was parading around her so-called New Avengers. A grave misnomer, you thought, considering this wasn’t exactly your rookie year. It was a hard pill to swallow.

Yelena insisted that you all as a team owned Valentina. You thought it felt a little bit like the other way around. At the same time, you knew it would take all of five seconds for you to tear the entire charade apart. As withdrawn as you were from, well, everything since Thanos, you knew you still held enough public interest that you could get on a stage and rip Valentina to shreds and end it all. But you couldn’t. There was just something about the strange little group that tugged on your remaining heartstrings.

It had been a fight, at first. Sam had been furious, but it had weighed far more heavily on Bucky than you. At the very least, you could look Sam in the eye and remind him that you had been around before the Avengers were even really a team. You’d been part of Nick Fury’s cobbled-together collection of misfits that could hardly be called a group, let alone a team. Sam might have been Captain America, but you were essentially the only original left. Tony and Natasha were dead, Steve was old, Clint and Bruce had families, and Thor was somewhere of in space doing… well, whatever the hell he wanted to, you supposed. You remained, heavy with loss and silently happy to see another group of misfits learning to stitch themselves together. Even if this time it was much, much messier.

Still, you resented the government control, and that John was involved.

You took it upon yourself to constantly remind him that he was only still around because you tolerated it, which he hated. It wasn’t that he was your ex, though you loathed to call him even that. It was that he’d take Steve’s legacy, tried to turn it to dust, and was still clinging to it. He insisted he was doing what he could with what he had, you insisted he could do better, and so the carousel turned.

The only argument he ever won, not that you’d ever admit it out loud, was when he reminded not just you, but everyone that he’d had you first. There was no argument against the truth. Even if you could insist that you were more serious with Steve (you weren’t), or that you’d loved Steve more (you weren’t even sure you’d been in love with Steve at all), it all circled back around to an undisputed fact: John Walker bested Steve in approximately one race and it was having you.

He had brought it up again, and you knew it was because he was feeling sensitive about something. You were fed up, and had snapped back a scathing remark you’d only ever thought before. You know, you keep bringing that shit up and someone might start to think you’re in love with me. You hadn’t said it because you thought there was any truth, but because you knew it would piss him off, because you were taking the one thing he could hold over your head and turning it back around on him. Bucky had openly laughed, which certainly hadn’t helped things, but John didn’t give into the fight you were expecting.

It gnawed at you all night and then began to worry you in the morning. You’d only ever known him to snap and give into baser instincts. Even in high school when he could have been called more mellow he’d always been ready to throw a punch or two. No response you’d ever seen from him consisted of steely silence or any kind of restraint. Though you wanted to take it as a sign of personal growth, you were more inclined to think it was something much worse. You imagined a brewing rage eating away at him like acid, and you had to wonder when it was going to boil over.

It wasn’t until Bob, sweet and generally unconcerned with John, mentioned it that you decided it was time to do something about it. Haven’t seen Walker all day, he’d remarked about the second most loud and imposing member of the team. Ava remarked that she was pleased with the development, but even Yelena looked disturbed. Alexei could not have cared any less as he shoveled Wheaties into this mouth, but Bucky… Bucky had leveled you with a look that suggested he thought something needed to be done too. That was the straw, you supposed. You might have been able to fight your own instincts about it, if Bucky had not looked at you like that, like he thought this might really become a problem sometime soon.

You sighed heavily and lifted yourself off the couch with a dramatized effort. Bucky indicated downstairs in the direction of the gym rather than above to the quarters where you all had your personal spaces. You briefly wondered if you could convince Bucky to have a man-to-man conversation with him rather than leaving you to make nice with your most irksome teammate. Ultimately, you realized that Bucky likely would rather put himself in the ground. Annoying, emotionally-constipated super soldiers were really fucking your life up.

(Pot, kettle, Bucky would probably insist, even if you were more super and less soldier.)

Inside the gym, you found yourself realizing that other than you, John and Steve had something else in common. They both liked to treat punching bags like they’d been done great personal offense by every one of them. Even in his occupation, you knew he noticed you. Or, at the very least, he’d noticed that someone had joined him.

“Your absence is troubling Bob,” you stated simply.

He didn’t pause his assault on the bag, but he did choose to switch sides to look at you. “I doubt it.”

“He said he hadn’t seen you all day. Mentioned, therefore noticed, therefore…”

“Therefore you drew straws and you’re the unluckiest of the bunch?”

You wished you’d drawn straws. “If only that had been part of the equation. No. Believe it or not, I figured this is mostly my problem.” You left out the fact that Bucky had too. John didn’t have anything to say about that, but he did pause and begin to unwrap his hands, preparing for what you also imagined was going to be a very tedious conversation. One that, apparently, you were going to have to take the reins of. “I’m more than willing to fight this out, but just know I’ll wipe the floor with you.” He didn’t take the bait. “Seriously, what the hell is going on? You’ve been on my ass since day one about what feels like fifteen million years ago, but I make one comment and you’re— you’re…” You had no clue how to finish that sentence, but you certainly weren’t going to apologize for anything.

He finally opens his mouth to actually say something, but it’s far from anything you’d have expected. “Does it really bother you that much? Thinking about back then?”

It was a pivot you hadn’t been expecting and it left you floundering for something to say. Did it bother you to think about? No. No, what bothered you was that it was constantly brought up in the context of being a thing to have been had, or a measure by which to pick who could have the shield. What irked you, was that John kept bringing it up like you were some kind of trophy rather than a person. Otherwise, as just something that had happened, as a relationship you had, there were fond memories if you didn’t apply the present-day John Walker of it all.

“It’s not important,” you decided to say, rather than admitting that he was constantly tainting what had previously been a genuinely pleasant example of what a first love could be. “It was forever ago, but you keep bringing it up like it’s another medal on your chest.”

And of course he zeroed in on what affronted him most. “Not important.” He was muttering to himself, mostly, but you heard it. “Just, you know, half of the sum-total of all my relationships in life. Not important.”

And that irked at you, when he’d gone onto have a wife and a kid and a brief white-picket-fence life that you’d probably never get to see because everyone in the world looked at you like some kind of commodity. A weapon to save the world, a face to plaster on tv and advertisements, a figurehead to say hey, look, this group must be good!

“My god, John,” you snapped, “you have a family. What the hell does some bullshit high school girlfriend matter? We were both nobody back then.”

“Because the family thing worked out so well for me,” he retorted.

“That was your own fault and you know it.”

A low-blow and you knew it, but you’d never be able to understand why he wasn’t constantly fighting tooth and nail to get back to them. You knew he missed his son, often caught him looking at photos that he’d gotten from somewhere. You weren’t sure if Olivia was doing a kindness and sending them, or if he was finding them by less-than-legal means, but you knew he looked at them longingly and still did nothing about it.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, always fucking everything up.”

You exhaled frustratedly through your nose. This was not going how you’d planned. It had gotten far more hostile than you’d intended. “I’m not trying to dog on you.” Though it would have been so much easier, if you were being honest. Which, you weren’t being, you knew. Being honest would have meant just telling him that you were tired of being a referred to as a possession, and how every time he brought it up, it felt like a reminder that even your pathetic high school partnership was the closest to serious you’d probably ever be able to get. “But you’re the one who brings it up like it’s a joke, not me.”

His head snapped to you, gaze torn away from the mindless packing of his gym bag. “I’m the one making a joke out of it? You’re the one who wants to act like it never even happened.”

“Because you’re the one ruining it.” You weren’t yelling, not really. But the whole thing was striking a sensitive chord that you’d never intended on even acknowledging. “You’re the one acting like I was a trophy you had and then threw away. So excuse me if I’m not looking back with fondness at being a thing.”

“I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.”

If he was being serious or purposefully obtuse, you weren’t sure. Realistically it could have been either. He might have trying to turn the tables on you, to move away from his nearly twenty-four hours of petulance that you were supposed to have been addressing. Or, maybe he really didn’t know that he’d been biting away at decently pleasant memories ever since he decided to try to be Steve. Maybe he was just that ignorant. And maybe you were kidding yourself in thinking he hadn’t been your first love, even if he hadn’t been the great love of your life. Yeah, you would perhaps admit in the deepest recesses of your mind, maybe that was a big part of it all.

Regardless, it was becoming exceedingly clear that perhaps neither of you were in the proper mindset for this conversation to go anywhere. John’s ego was clearly too bruised from your brief ribbing to think of anything beyond how things affected him, and you were just… well, you supposed you’d been hurting too much about everything for far too long.

At least you could tell Bucky you’d tried.

⊛

Another team was falling apart before your eyes, which meant you weren’t sleeping. Or, at the very least, sleeping as little as you could without being plagued by memories turned nightmares. So maybe that was why you were particularly sensitive, which was perhaps why you felt like bursting into tears all the time.

It had been a shit week, though, so you were giving yourself some grace. You’d allow yourself tears if they really wanted to come, if you even had any left.

The tension with John had gotten worse, and now there were sides to it all. Bucky was on yours, unequivocally, always. The rest of the team flip-flopped back and forth depending wholly on mood or which one of you had pissed them off more that day. Bob was the only one who sat entirely neutral, though you were certain that the whole thing was stressing them out. And all of it was, albeit on a much smaller scale, reminding you of years ago which made the whole thing more unpleasant.

In the end, it made you wonder if you were still cut out for this.

Losing another team would break you, you were sure of it. Even if it was a patchwork team filled mostly with people who grated on your nerves like it was a full time job, losing it would break you. So, you were kind of thinking it was time to remove yourself from the situation. Retirement wouldn’t have looked so bad, if you weren’t going to be alone in all of it.

That all being said, it had not been a good decision to think about it all in Tony’s old tower, looking to space from the spot he’d built to land the suit. Valentina had called it good optics, but you thought it was more bittersweet memory. Things had been good here, then bad, then good again, and then nothing. Now it was… well, you weren’t sure what the hell to call it because everything reminded you of something else. Everything reminded you of them and it damn near tore you to shreds.

Yeah, you were really beginning to think that you weren’t cut out for this anymore.

Bucky appeared from a dark corner as he so often did, and you weren’t sure if he was trying to joke when he asked, “Do I need to be worried about you?”

Either way, you knew it was a lie when you said, “No, just can’t sleep.”

When you looked at him, you knew that he knew you were full of shit. So, it was like that then. He sighed heavily and stretched out on the floor next to you.

“I’m going to stay here until you talk to me.” You knew he was serious, unfortunately. You’d uttered the same words to him years ago when Steve had you and Sam chasing his tail. “Or until we decide to kill Walker.” You looked at him sideways. “I’m mostly joking. But I did catch him drinking milk out of the carton again, so.” He shrugged as best he could while horizontal.

“This is not John,” you said. At least, not entirely. Sure, the tension still grated on you, but it only really served to point out how much everything started to bother you when a single element went wrong. One piece out of place and all you could think about was everything you’d lost. “It’s— it’s this whole fucking place, Bucky. I don’t think I can be here anymore.”

“This doesn’t work without you,” he says firmly. “You leave, this whole thing falls apart like a house of cards. I’m sorry, but it’s true.” You couldn’t help but think that was bullshit, and the way you looked at Bucky conveyed as much. “I don’t do this without you. Already told you, where you go, I go.”

The worst part was you knew he would. If you left, he’d follow just like you’d stuck to him like glue after Steve left to chase happiness. Steve might have said until the end of the line, but you and Bucky were the ones holding the rope. But even though you thought the team could pull themselves together without you, you also knew they had no hope of doing the same without him.

“I can’t lose another team,” you admitted. Even with the admission you held back. Your natural, instinctual follow-up was that it had almost killed you last time, but you knew from your time in Bob’s void that it all still haunted Bucky. He still blamed himself for splitting the Avengers. “This is too good for you— all of you, for me to ruin it with all my bullshit.”

It almost looked like Bucky was considering it, the way his brow knit together and his eyes squinted ever-so-slightly. So, it took you by surprise when the man who’d been flying by the seat of his pants so recently looked you dead in the face and said, “If you’re willing to hear me out, I have a plan.”

⊛

You did not think Bucky’s plan was a good one, nor did anyone else. When he remarked vaguely about switching some things around and off-handedly mentioned bonding, you had not expected to end up here. This was what you got for hearing him out. Goddamn fucking nonsense.

“This is elaborate joke, yes?” Alexei asked.

“I look like I’m joking to you?” Bucky asked, frowning.

“I think we all wish you were,” Ava retorted.

Yelena nodded and added, “This is going to get someone killed.”

If Bucky’s plan was to unite you all against his asinine games, he’d succeeded. Nobody was sure how he’d convinced Valentina to fork out the funds to reserve an entire camp usually used for corporate retreats, but he’d done it. It was a forked tongue of an idea, really. It got you out of the government-funded press tour that was previously scheduled, but it also meant a week with only each other doing trust falls or whatever other crap white-collar idiots did to encourage teamwork.

Despite all complaints and reservations, you all piled into the car and allowed Bucky to cart you off to the middle of nowhere, albeit entirely silently. A butterfly landing could have frayed your last nerve, which was exactly what happened when you saw a file marked cabin arrangements. It had to have been a sick joke. You had half a mind to casually remark, hey, if you wanted me dead you should have just told me, but you didn’t think he’d have taken kindly to that and you weren’t in the mood for an involuntary psychiatric hold.

Instead you told him, “I think this violates the Geneva conventions.”

“You and Walker have the most issues,” he responded. “And you said you’d hear me out. I really think this is going to work.”

Yelena was right, this was going to get someone killed. It didn’t matter if there was an assembled team of professionals waiting to teach you how to play nice with each other, either you or John would be dead come morning. Everyone else would just have to spend the rest of the week with the corpse. At least then there’d be an even number.

Only out of respect for Bucky did you swallow your pride and stomp off to your assigned cabin with John following close behind. Otherwise, you might have started a fight then and there, but he was right: you’d promised to hear him out, even if this was the last time you’d do it.

Your so-called cabin reminded you more of a dorm room than a woodsy vacation. It was closer-quarters than you’d been with anyone since being on the run. It was just one room with two beds on either side that you likely could have reached at the same time if you stood in the middle and stretched a little. The only comfort was indoor plumbing. You might have become immediately homicidal if there had been any mention of an outhouse.

“Gonna kill him,” John was muttering as he unpacked.

Part of you wanted to tell him to get in line, but a much bigger part of you wanted another hours-long stretch of silence. This was your life for the week, whether you liked it or not, and you wanted to keep the baseline peace for as long as possible. It was hard to do, though, when the second you’d unpacked your own belongings and decided to relax on the bed, someone was knocking at the door. A voice you didn’t recognize cheerily announced that you were to meet at the fire pit for introductions. You plotted Bucky’s slow and painful death as you forced yourself to follow orders.

Ten minutes later, you were all gathered around the unlit fire-pit looking at not just each other, but four very normal people who looked nervous just to be there. How they were supposed to help you all get chummy when they could barely look you in the eyes, you had no clue. It was the woman who you suspected had also been the one to summon you that clapped her hands together and declared you would get started. Though she seemed to be putting her best foot forward, you saw the light in her eyes dim when Yelena drily marked there was no reason for introductions because you all knew each other already.

“Well, okay,” she said with her forced smile, “how about, a fun fact about each of you!”

You could think of a glorious list of fun facts entirely centered around the torture you had in store for your so-called best friend, but you didn’t say that. Which, of course, was not to suggest that the “fun facts” to go around were not equally horrifying. Little miss sunshine was more unsettled minute by minute, and her own staff looked ready to bolt. You reiterated to only yourself, this was not going to work.

It was not working when they put you in their “state-of-the-art” escape room which lasted all of two minutes before John kicked the door open. It was not working when they had you doing child-level arts and crafts on an assembly line, which ended promptly when Ava put scissors through Alexei’s hand. And it was definitely, most certainly, absolutely not working when you were eating lunch and Bob accidentally started a food fight, not in the fun way. It was a lost cause, and it harrowed the staff.

The cheery instructor was holding on by a thread when she declared that she thought some self-reflection time was due and so sent you all off to your respective housing. You swore you saw Bucky’s eye twitch as he headed off towards his own, blissfully single accommodations. Only a few hours in and the plan was falling apart like a child’s blanket fort.

You showered mashed potatoes out of your hair, beating John to the bathroom by seconds to his great frustration. You were not reinvigorated when you emerged clean, but you at least felt less heavy. As John brushed past you on his way to his own shower, you breathed a sigh of relief at the prospect of a few moments truly alone. Three hours and you were already tearing your hair out.

For Bucky, you wanted to put your best foot forward. He was serious about leaving with you, if that was the choice you made, but that pained you. He had found something here, something that could be important and do good, and you weren’t sure if it would kill you more to stick around miserable, or to tear him away. Still, you had told him the truth that night, you weren’t sure you could do it anymore.

Miserably and embarrassingly, a dam broke inside and you burst into tears at the exact moment John exited the briefest shower in human history. He looked at you alarmed and you promptly squeezed your eyes as tight as you could. Perhaps if you couldn’t see him, you could pretend it wasn’t happening at all. If he hadn’t been there hovering, waiting for who knows what, you maybe could have, but he did. John stood there statuesque in exactly the same way he had when you were teenagers, always unsure what to do when you cried.

“Jesus,” he breathed. “The hell did I do now?”

You wanted to scream that not everything was about him, that you’d been miserable long before he ever reentered your life but there was no space in your lungs left to do so. Which meant you just sat there heaving sobs in front of the last person you ever wanted to show a vulnerable bone in your body. If he wanted to see you beaten down by life to feel good about himself, you were certainly giving him the show.

He took you back to high school again, which was both humiliating and a horrifying comfort. He’d never known what to do while you cried, but he’d certainly had a routine for after. You weren’t sure where he got the water bottle that he thrust into your hands ten minutes later, nor did you notice him disappear into the bathroom again for a toilet-paper sub for tissue, but he had. The whole time you shook while you cleaned yourself up and rehydrated so thoroughly you felt like puking, he sat on the floor with his back against your bed, radiating body heat against your leg without touching.

Then he asked you what he always had, and it still sounded like it pained him just like before, “Do you want to talk about it?”

No. You thought you wanted to die, really. You thought that maybe Bucky had needed to worry. And you were thinking that John was still a better man than you gave him credit for, despite all the space and time. Horrifying discover after horrifying discovery. Why you admitted the truth to him you’d probably never know. Why he shared the same would always make you wonder.

“I think I don’t want to be here anymore,” you said, cracking through chesty mucus that had settled in your lungs. The look on his face suggested he knew you didn’t just mean the cabin or trip. Soft eyes, like the very idea of it haunted him even though he shouldn’t have cared any less. It wouldn’t have removed the feather of you from his cap. He still could claim it: I had her. What a shame things went the way they did… It should not have mattered to him. He’d never given you any indication it would.

“I think,” you continued, “that almost everyone I’ve ever loved is dead or gone, and I’m wondering why I didn’t end up there too. So fuck you for thinking it’s you I’m crying over. I was miserable before you. I’ll be miserable after.”

He invoked again through a sigh and rose. “I’m going to go get Bucky.”

Your hand shot out and gripped his wrist as tight as you could. It wouldn’t bruise a super-soldier but he got the point. “You get Bucky and I’ll kill you, John.”

That would be the last straw. Bucky saw you like this and everything would be a goner. He was your best friend, and he’d do anything in the world for you, which made it so damn hard for you to do everything in your power for him. Bucky would never know.

“You’re goddamn demented, you know.” He relented despite what seemed to be protestation. “Fuckin’ crazy. Threatening to put me in the ground for trying to help you.”

“Fuck you,” you repeated, heatless and bland but all you had. “You aren’t helping shit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m trying here, baby.”

If you had anything left to give besides the barest of oxygen in your lungs, you might have cried all over again. You could imagine clawing at him for having the audacity to call you that, accident or not, but your very bones denied it. Something must have leeched the calcium right out of them, the way you might have buckled if you had been standing. All while your blood was turning to sludge in your veins, John Walker muttered the first apology you’d maybe ever heard from him. Force of habit, he added, like the last time he had any right to say something like that wasn’t years ago.

There was a stretch of silence that could have been hours for all you knew. There were knocks on the door that you both ignored for some reason you’d never be able to explain. There was probably a search party underfoot, but it all seemed deeply inconsequential. At some point, you’d drawn your knees up to your chest, and he’d ended up next to you. Just the barest brushing of skin.

“I want this to work,” you admitted against all better judgment. “For Bucky. For me. I miss having people to rely on. I always liked having people in my corner.”

“I’m getting divorced,” he offered, a piece of his hurt for yours. “Liv might let me see my son. She had some real choice words when I called. So, I guess it would be nice to have some people in my corner, too.”

A real pretty picture to paint, to be sure. Far from being possible just because you decided there was really nothing left to lose. Even so, there was nothing left to do but try.

⊛

So maybe Bucky Barnes was some kind of closet genius.

It was a bit like puzzle pieces clicking when you decided to give it a real go. You still wanted to kill John sometimes. A lot of the time. Maybe even most of the time. But you’d looked straight into each others’ gooey centers, and that would have changed things for anyone.

When you asked where the hell a plan like his had even come from, Bucky admitted it had been far more Sam than it had him. Couple’s counseling, he’d remarked which had explained a number of disappearances he’d previously left up for debate, we’d been going for a while, and when I was telling him he said it was too bad I couldn’t make everyone go. So I found a way. You’d just smiled and said, Fucking weird plan, Buck. You couldn’t deny the results though.

The next time you caught yourself gazing up at the stars recounting what you’d once had, it was John that joined you instead of Bucky. For the first time in a long time, it didn’t leave you with a bone-deep pain to talk about what had been. You grew to understand how Bucky held no resentment to Steve for chasing his own peace, even if it meant leaving forever. It didn’t freeze you to the bone to tell someone, even if it was him, that Yelena was reminding you more and more of Natasha with each passing day. It no longer felt like pulling teeth when you admitted that sometimes when you had a drink at the bar you thought about Tony. Now, when you looked at the sky you wished Thor only the best, rather than cursing him for leaving you for so long. Sometimes, John would tell you about his son and you’d smile for Bruce and Clint.

Part of you recoiled when he echoed Bucky’s words to you. “I need to be worried about you?”

“Nah,” you said, the truth this time. “I’m… solid. Putting in the work. Therapy, medication, all that jazz.” It being mandatory now was only about half the reason you still visited a professional weekly. “I’m doing good, I think.” John repeated good several times as he nodded mostly to himself. You turned it on him. “I gotta be worried about you?”

At that, he shook his head. He echoed your sentiment about putting in the work at mandatory therapy. He was solid too, good even, practically verging on great. His fingers brushed yours as he explained he was having his first unsupervised visit with his son. Not at the tower, nowhere near the tower if he could help it. Not that it was a trust thing, he made sure to add hastily. He thought that maybe there would be a day he could show his son what “work” was now, just not so soon. You were genuinely glad for him all while ignoring a pesky blooming warmth in your chest at a tentative grasp of hands.

John Walker still had roots in you, that was certain, and you had a feeling you had a home somewhere in his ribcage too.

“We were best friends once,” he remarked sometime after your pulse had stopped thrumming in your ears. “Think it could happen again?”

A small smile broke through very thin resistance, and you hummed for what seemed to be dramatic affect. “Spot’s taken… think I might have something else in mind for you, if you’re up for the challenge.”

Clasped hands raised, lips meet the inside of your wrist, your pulse flutters again. “Up for anything, baby.”

#john walker x reader #john walker fanfiction #thunderbolts fanfiction #us agent x reader #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction

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ay0nha · 1 month ago

Text

The Awful Daring of a Moment's Surrender | Dr. Frank Langdon

SUMMARY: Maybe it was the exhaustion, or the rain, or the way your guard had been ground down over weeks of double shifts and subtle stares--but you felt solt. Unarmored. And Frank noticed. Of course, he did, but he let you have

Creative Event: A Doctor A Day 18, Prompt: "I was hoping it'd be you." Color: Black

PAIRING: Dr. Frank Langdon x f!reader (nurse)

WORD COUNT: 6.3K

WARNINGS: Canon-typical things, tension-filled 'enemies' to lovers, the one-bed trope, a pervy patient, nurse harassment, cheesy conversations and tropes, inner turmoil, mentions of divorce and kids, rehab, MOVIE MAGIC PLOT AND PACING lol, fluff, angst, etc.

A/N: This was so much fun to be a part of! I word vomited, but oh well. Thank you for creating this @ananonymousaffair, @clubsoft, and @letsgobarbs!

Frank’s eyes found you again. They always did—like muscle memory, like a bad habit he would never break.

He’d been trying to distract himself all day, trying not to think about the subtle shifts in gravity around you. Rewriting notes, rechecking vitals that didn’t need checking, drowning in inboxes and labs like they could offer sanctuary from a single truth: things between you weren’t the same.

It was in the way you smiled at everyone but him. The way you didn’t joke anymore, the way you walked right past him like the space between you wasn’t even worth acknowledging.

Frank didn’t notice at first because you weren’t cruel with it, just distant. Professional. Fine. Yet, that was what cut.

Frank had been through enough to know when something was wrong. Rehab taught him to hear quiet rejection, to notice when people flinched, or made space, but it hadn’t prepared him for this; for being back, being so-called better, and still losing something he hadn’t even realized mattered so much.

You—The person who used to crack jokes entirely at his expense. The one who once split stale vending machine chips with him during back-to-back codes. The one who used to call him Frank, like it meant something.

Now it was just Langdon, again. You’d pressed a reset, and he had no idea why.

It made him restless, fidgeting between cases and rushing through notes just to keep moving. Even now, leaning over the desktop was just another performance; posture rehearsed, hand perched on the mouse, eyes blank on the screen, but he wasn’t reading. He was watching you.

Not with malice, not even with interest, but with a persistence that had come to a point. The nurses whispered, the med students’ eyes bouncing between the two of you when you shared a case, and even the patients read between the lines to find something you were purposely ignorant of.

You posed yourself well, ignoring it. You moved through the ED with the kind of grace only long shifts could carve out: quick, tired, and efficient.

You’d been on your feet for too long, and it showed. Blood pressure cuffs slung around your neck, bruises bloomed under your eyes, and every that started neat was now purely functional. Still, you managed to find warmth for everyone: patients, techs, and that fourth-year who forgot how to use the glucometer.

Everyone but Frank. That’s what made it personal.

Frank shook his head, trying to refocus. “God–!”

“Now’s not the time to find God, Langdon.” Dana hummed sarcastically, pushing a clipboard into his chest. “...nor is it the time to makin’ eyes—leave the girl alone.”

“I’m not—” He’d almost fallen for the trap. It took effort to pull his eyes away from you to come up with something clever. “You wear that cross around your neck, but that doesn't make you a saint.”

“You’re warming up.” She was half-impressed with his counter. “If I still had a heart, I’d find this all moving.”

“There’s nothing to find.” He scoffed, flipping through the chart—chest pains, mild tachycardia, probably anxiety. “Give this to Whitaker, I have to…”

Dana watched his thoughts trail off his tongue. Frank didn’t look at his surroundings, moving swiftly with instinct, and chasing after you.

You were in Room 28, helping an elderly woman with a bedpan situation that was rapidly becoming a story. You were tired—so tired. The fluorescent lights felt like a second skin, and your scrubs smelled like antiseptic and cafeteria curry.

That was when he walked in.

“Need a hand?” Frank leaned in the doorway, stethoscope slung loose around his neck like a badge of charm.

You didn’t turn; there was no need. “Not unless you want to glove up.”

“Tempting.” His hands remained secure in his pockets.

You exhaled, kept your focus on the patient, and murmured, “I’m almost done here.”

The woman in the bed chuckled. “He’s handsome. Is he yours?”

“No—”

“—Not yet.” Frank, amused, muttered, not even sure why he said it. Habit. Hope, maybe.

You shot him a glare.

“Just offering help. I know the nurses have their opinions, but c’mon.” He held up his hands with feigned innocence. “I’m ER Ken. Infectious charisma, average height but above-average presence—”

“I’ll remember that for the next peer eval.”

“Put it under ‘Team Dynamics.’” He grinned.

You finished settling the patient, making sure she was clean and comfortable, ignoring the resident.

You tucked the woman in, adjusted her oxygen, and brushed her shoulder in a way so small and human it made Frank ache. He remembered that version of you. Kind and unflinching, a better presence than he deserved. Yet, you walked past Frank like he wasn’t there, heading to the sink.

“I’ve been trying to figure out if I did something…” Frank followed you, knowing he’d have to spit it out; you only reserved so much time for his antics. “If I said something. You’ve been—”

“Don’t make this a thing.” You turned the faucet on.

“I’m not. I just…” Frank hesitated, uncharacteristically uncertain. “You used to talk to me.”

“I still talk to you.”

“Barely.”

Your jaw worked, tension spiking along your spine. You didn’t meet his eyes. You focused on scrubbing your hands raw.

“I didn’t relapse, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Frank was quieter now, afraid of mentioning his slip-up would doom him further. He spoke, though, desperate for your trust. “I’m keeping up with the meetings. Still doing the steps, I just—”

That made you pause. Just a fraction.

Frank exhaled like he hated himself for even needing to say it. “I just—I don’t know if you think I’m…”

“I know.” Your voice clipped, cutting him off before the self-deprecation. “Everything’s fine, Langdon.”

The silence was stretching, and you still wouldn’t look at him.

And he didn’t know—couldn’t even guess—that it wasn’t judgment in your distance. It was longing. Because the truth was, you missed him.

You missed the guy who lit up night shifts with jokes and zero-hour brilliance, who remembered weird details like who drank Diet Coke and who had knee pain when it rained. He’d pull someone back from a code and then flirt with a phlebotomist in the same breath.

You missed the chaos, the gallows humor, the late-night vulnerability he didn’t show anyone else. You missed what he’d been to you before everything fell apart, before he disappeared into rehab and came back someone careful and trying.

You stared at the faucet, letting cold water run over your hands longer than necessary because Frank Langdon was all wit and half-sincere charm and just enough vulnerability to make it dangerous. You wanted to let him stay steady. You wanted to respect the ground he’d fought to gain.

So, you’d built walls instead of reaching for what you used to have. And Frank mistook the bricks for bitterness.

“I just…” He was careful this time, more measured with confidence for the first time in a while. “I don’t want to make it worse.”

You finally looked at him then. You opened your mouth—

All the pagers buzzed.

Rapid Response, Room 19. Frank’s name echoed overhead. You didn’t say anything else, just turned toward the call.

—

There were three trauma codes before noon. Two staff call-outs. The crash cart had gone missing for forty goddamn minutes—later found wedged behind the elevator by an intern who looked like he might cry. There was a broken limb in nearly every bay. The psych consult was MIA. And the coffee in the breakroom had devolved into some viscous, black, tar-like substance that no one had the heart to dump out.

You hadn’t sat down since 06:45.

Your legs ached. It felt like your brain was holding itself together with surgical tape and gauze. And somewhere in the blur of vitals and codes, Frank had appeared—gliding through the chaos like he was born for it, which, annoyingly, he probably was. He hadn’t said much to you, just glanced a little too long across charts and supply drawers, handing you things you didn’t ask for like it was muscle memory.

You didn’t speak about the curt conversation.. You didn’t need to. The silence between you had changed shape, warmer, heavier. Unspoken. Observed. Especially by everyone else.

“You seeing this?” Perlah had muttered in Tagalog near the med cart earlier, watching the way Frank hovered too long beside you as you updated a chart. “He’s not even being subtle anymore.”

Even the med students were catching on. They tracked Frank’s movements like nervous meerkats, always watching, half-scared he’d snap if someone asked a dumb question near you, but there was no time for teasing now. The ED claimed your time.

“Room six—” Dana called, waving a chart. “Gary’s back.”

That name landed heavy. A regular, known for the kind of slow, slurred vulgarity that turned any nurse’s stomach. He came in bruised and bleeding every few weeks, drunk and grinning, always with something disgusting to say.

Princess made a face. “I got him last time.”

“We’ve got two fresh traumas, a seizure in the hallway, and a combative patient screaming about lizard people in four. Who’s got the thickest skin today?” Dana tried. In moments, she’d start picking whoever locked eyes with her.

So, you’d already stepped forward, grabbing gloves. “I’ve got it.”

“You sure, kid?” Dana gave you a look.

You nodded. Confident and detached, you’d handled worse. You were wrong.

Gary was worse than usual—reeking of rotgut whiskey and stale piss, the cut above his eye oozing lazily. He grinned when he saw you. That same slow, lecherous grin.

“I was hoping it’d be you.” He drawled.

“Let’s keep this quick, Gary.” You didn’t blink.

“Aw, c’mon, sweetheart. Don’t play hard to get.”

Behind you, one of the med students cringed.

“Vitals first.” You added flatly. “Then we can deal with that eyebrow.”

Gary wouldn’t let up. Kept leering. Mumbling shit you didn’t want to hear. When you reached for the BP cuff, he grabbed your wrist, fingers greasy and possessive. Something in you snapped like brittle wire.

“Baby, come on, let’s—”

“Gary—!” You broke, pulling away.

You didn’t remember what you said next. Only that your voice was sharp, loud enough that Kiara was in the room a second later, followed by an orderly. Only that your hands were shaking when you left the bedside, that your breath came too hard, too fast.

The room froze.

You didn’t notice Frank, not yet. Not standing at the mouth of the trauma bay with a chart in his hand, his whole body stilled in the chaos. Not the med students watching him watch you, eyes flicking nervously between his unreadable expression and your barely-contained rage.

“Hey, hey!” Kiara appeared behind you, palms up, gentle. “Hey—I’ve got it. Security’s on their way.”

“He put his hands on me.” Your words came out harsher than you meant.

“I know.” She reassured quickly. “...but you’re shaking. Go breathe. I’ve got this. Go.”

You couldn’t move at first. Then you did.

The second you stepped out of the trauma bay, the air felt different. Too bright. Too cold. Like you were vibrating just under your skin. You braced your arms on the half-wall near the ambulance entrance, trying to ground yourself.

It was stupid, maybe. Overblown. He hadn’t hurt you. But it wasn’t just about Gary. It was about all of them, the patients. The way they looked at you. Talked to you. Touched you. Like being a nurse meant being furniture with a pulse.

Still inside, voices filtered through the ED. Beyond the worried gossip, Dana clocked Frank quickly, reading his intention through his body language.

“Don’t.” Dana warned. “Don’t go charging after her.”

Frank’s tone was quieter. “I’m just—”

“She doesn’t need a savior. She needs backup.” She looked at him sternly, eyes direct above her reading glasses. “And if you’re gonna be in her corner, be in it. Don’t mess around.”

“I’m not.”

“Then listen to me—” Dana eased in a way he didn’t expect. “From mother to son: she’s one of the best we’ve got. This place barely holds together on a good day. She needs someone she doesn’t have to fight with or protect. So, just do it right.”

When the door clicked behind you. You didn’t need to look.

Frank.

He leaned against the wall beside you, just close enough to count.

“You okay?” He asked eventually.

You exhaled slowly. “Fine, Langdon.”

He didn’t push. Just nodded once. “Saw what happened.”

“I was supposed to be the one with the thick skin.” You stared at the asphalt, borderline mocking yourself.

“You are.”

You looked at him then. Really looked. His face was tight, concern tucked under practiced calm. His eyes didn’t move from yours.

“I’m just so tired.” You put aside everything, admission taking over. “Tired of being professional when I’m shaking. Tired of being the one who doesn’t get to snap.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” You asked, the words sharper than intended. “You’re a resident. You raise your voice, and people listen. I raise mine, and they send me outside.”

Frank didn’t answer right away. The siren-whine of an ambulance in the distance curled under the tension between you.

“This place grinds you down.” He answered thoughtfully. “Chews up good people and spits out burned-out husks. Especially nurses.”

You looked over at him. “That’s poetic.”

“You get poetic when you’ve had two hours of sleep and four patients die on you before noon.” He teased.

“It’s not just today, you know.” You needed it all out. “It’s all of it. The short-staffing. The harassment. The way we get called emotional when we push back.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Then what do we do?” You turned your body toward him, arms still crossed.

He looked at you then—really looked. Eyes softer than they’d been all day. Maybe all week.

“We look out for each other.” He said. “We start there.”

The words hit harder than they should’ve. Maybe because they weren’t vague. Weren’t said with distance. They were about you. About him. About now.

“You’ve been doing that.” You caved. Your bravado was thinning. “More than I expected.”

“I don’t always get it right. But I’m trying.” He smiled a little, not like he was proud of himself, but like it hurt to admit.

“I’m not used to someone having my back.”

“I am,” he said, almost gently. “Used to having yours.”

That was when you met his eyes again. Something cracked open between you. Something that felt like acknowledgment. A beginning without the comfort of denial. A door you could choose to walk through—or not.

“I don’t need rescuing.” You sniffed over your disdain, pride getting the better of you.

“I know.” Frank smiled, just a flicker. “Doesn’t mean I won’t step in if you need someone in your corner.”

You let yourself breathe for the first time in what felt like hours. And when the door behind you swung open again—Dana’s voice calling your name, Robby barking for Frank—you didn’t move right away.

Neither did he. Just for a second longer, you stood there. Together. Quiet. Seen.

—

Twelve hours bled into twenty-four.

The day-shift staff were long gone, replaced by the night crew with their thermal mugs and haunted stares. The vending machines buzzed like they were short-circuiting. Someone's half-eaten dinner steamed under the warming light in the break room, forgotten in the rush of a trauma that never came.

But now it was quiet. Too quiet.

The kind of still that only came when the ED hit a strange middle space, where the sickest patients had been stabilized or shipped upstairs, and the waiting room had emptied enough to mop the floors. There was no screaming, no alarms. Just the low murmur of machines, the shuffle of shoes over waxed linoleum, and the tired hum of lives slowly sorting themselves back into place.

And through it all, there you were, still there, still moving.

You were doing a double. Again.

The badge clipped to your scrub top felt like it weighed more than you did. Your feet throbbed, your hands were dry and red from sanitizing a thousand times. You’d been charting for so long, your signature didn’t look like handwriting anymore.

Then, somewhere around hour fifteen, you noticed Frank wasn’t orbiting anymore.

He was still there, but not present. Not watching you like before. No one-liner flirtations, no smug grins when you passed in the hallway. No caffeine jokes, no impromptu debates over IV push vs drip. No teasing. No lingering. Just…doing his notes in the corner like a ghost.

At first, you welcomed it. Space was good. The distance made it easier to forget the way he laughed at 3 AM, or how he always remembered who hated banana-flavored anything and kept those syringes off your trays.

But now, it just felt off, wrong.

Even when he passed by your station earlier, he didn’t offer a look. You felt it in your stomach; something folding in on itself. The feeling lingered even when your shift finally ended and you planned to smother it at home.

However, outside, the rain came down in violent sheets, hammering the windows like fists. The storm had crept in slowly, quiet drizzle around hour twelve, upgraded to a full deluge by twenty. You’d caught a glimpse of it while restocking in triage. The sky looked bruised black and blue. Thunder growled low and constant.

Now, while you tried to outwait it, you saw Frank standing near the exit with his jacket in hand, keys spinning around one finger, watching the rainfall like he was trying to time it.

“You're really going out in that?” You asked, voice rough from disuse.

Frank turned slowly, his hair messier than usual, exhaustion shadowing his jaw. “Was gonna try. Why? You think you need a canoe?”

You huffed out a breath, almost a laugh. “Just need the city bus to show up and not hydroplane into traffic.”

“You're serious?” He raised a brow.

“Public transit loyalty card. VIP tier.” You held up your badge and tapped the back.

Frank didn’t laugh, but something flickered in his expression. Tired amusement. Then: “You’re not actually waiting for the bus in this shit, are you?”

“Might just crash in the on-call room.” You shrugged, hands pulling at your sore neck. You already imagined how the pain would worsen from the closet in the room.

“Classy.”

“It’s either that or drown crossing Main.”

Frank didn’t answer right away. The rain smacked louder against the glass. You could see the reflection of streetlights bending and breaking in the puddles. What was left of the night felt waterlogged, like the whole city was sinking into the hidden sunrise.

“Come on.” Frank caught his keys, no longer playing with them in contemplation. “I’ll drive.”

You frowned. “You don’t even know where I live.”

“Figure it out on the way.” Frank pulled at the door, rain competing for volume. “Unless you're really attached to that lumpy cot and crusty blanket.”

You hesitated, but the thought of peeling off your scrubs and collapsing into anything that wasn’t hospital property won—barely.

—

The drive was slow. Treacherous.

Frank didn’t talk much, just adjusted the heat, tapped the steering wheel. Water pooled in the gutters, flooded intersections. The radio kept chiming in with traffic alerts. Flash flood warnings shot across his dashboard screen like small, polite threats.

Frank’s wipers cut across the windshield in long, rhythmic arcs. Streetlights smudged through the downpour. Everything looked like it was dissolving in slow motion.

You sat rigid, arms crossed over your chest, not because you were cold, but because the silence between you carried the weight of earlier even when you thought it had passed.

When he turned down the bridge toward your part of town, the red-and-blue lights started flashing before you could say anything.

Detour. Road closed. Flooding past the viaduct.

“Seriously?” You sat back in your seat with a groan.

Frank just sighed, threw the car into reverse, and made a lazy U-turn.

“What now?” You asked.

He didn’t answer until you were headed towards the highway. “You crash at mine.”

You turned your head slowly. “What?”

“I’m not dropping you at a bus stop in a flood zone.” He didn’t glance at you.

“And what, you just collect stray nurses like wet cats?”

Frank smirked. “Just the ones who hate me.”

You looked out the window again. The storm hadn’t let up. There wasn’t another option. So you said nothing.

—

Frank’s apartment was unexpected.

It was small. Not cramped, but modest in a way that made you hesitate in the doorway. You’d assumed, maybe unfairly, that a trauma doctor with Langdon’s swagger would live somewhere sleek—high-rise, steel finishes, skyline view.

What was before you was simple, lived-in, and chronically unfinished. The kind of space that felt like someone had moved in, but hadn’t quite arrived.

The walls were still bare. A few cardboard boxes sat scattered, half-unpacked. One had the word BEDROOM scribbled on it in black Sharpie. Another, in faded ink, simply read DON’T OPEN.

A third sat partly torn open, its contents halfway spilled: mismatched mugs, a phone charger that looked like it had been through hell, a cracked photo frame you pretended not to see Frank kick under the couch.

You didn’t ask. Instead, you just toed off your shoes and stepped inside.

The couch squeaked beneath you as you sat. Not in the polite, old-furniture kind of way, but in the unmistakable squeal of plastic still clinging to its original shape. The kind people only left on when they were afraid to settle.

“Jesus.” You cursed, adjusting your weight and wincing at the sound. “What is this?”

Frank came out of the kitchen, holding two chipped mugs. “You’re lucky I have furniture. Most of my things are still in storage. This was my brother-in-law’s. He was gonna throw it out, but I figured… y’know. Good enough to sit on.”

You shifted again. The plastic shrieked. “That’s a generous definition of ‘good enough.’”

Frank grinned, tired. You took the mug he offered. It said “#1 Dad” in fading black letters. You didn’t comment. He didn’t either.

“I’d offer something stronger.” He was eager to fill any lull, holding onto conversation with you. “Only keep decaf and regrets around here these days.”

There were toys scattered in places they didn’t belong—ghosts of smaller hands that hadn’t visited in weeks. A plastic dinosaur on the windowsill. A pink glitter sneaker was half-tucked under the bookshelf. A toddler’s sippy cup wedged next to a water-damaged copy of The House of God and what looked like an untouched grief workbook.

Frank noticed you noticing.

He didn’t say anything. Just rubbed at the inside of his wrist where a bracelet or a watch might’ve once lived. He didn’t wear jewelry anymore. Not even the stuff his kids made. Not the macaroni bracelet. Not the braided cord with their initials. Not the ring from before.

Every time Frank looked down and saw those things, it was like a jab. They acted as a reminder that he let those around him down. That his kids had a dad who disappeared for a while, only to came back paler, carrying twelve steps in his pocket, and a shadow where self-esteem used to be.

He didn’t want to see the evidence of the old version of himself—before he was the kind of man who had to prove, every day, that he could be better. So, the jewelry stayed in a drawer along with the birthday cards he hadn’t opened.

And still, you were here. Sitting on his couch, holding one of his two good mugs, like this wasn’t the strangest place in the world to be after a double shift.

“So—” Frank said eventually, settling on the other end of the couch with a tired sigh. “You always this judgmental about interior design, or just when I’m trying to impress you?”

You raised the mug to your lips, amused. “If this is you trying to impress me, I think I owe Mateo twenty bucks.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “That’s tracks.”

The couch squeaked again when he leaned back.

You let the joke hold for a while, watching headlights swim through the blinds. There was a slow hum to everything: the fridge, the radiator, the pulse in your ears.

It’s not weird.” You confirmed quietly. You knew Frank, what weighed down his wit; you could still read him better than himself. “Having me here. It’s just a favor.”

Frank didn’t look at you right away, but you felt the pause behind his next breath. He nodded slowly. Thoughtful. The weight behind his usual smirk had softened lately, turned into something more cautious.

This was a man who used to fill a room with charm like secondhand smoke. But lately, he moved like he didn’t want to leave a mark.

“It’s just…” You started, then let it trail off. You set your mug down on the floor, where it wobbled once before settling. “Sometimes I need a break from my place, too. Been sleeping with the TV on just to drown out the walls.”

It was a strange kind of comfort, this mutual unraveling in a too-small space. You were both tired. Post-shift wired on surviving adrenaline. The kind of fatigue that makes things feel a little sideways.

“Thanks for not…” He scratched his jaw, eyes flicking toward the unopened box labeled DON’T OPEN. “...y’know. Asking.”

You tilted your head. “About what? The boxes? Or the fact that your couch came wrapped like a crime scene?”

That got a real laugh out of him. One of those low, worn ones that cracked around the edges.

“Bit of both.” He confessed. “It’s all still kind of… in progress.”

You glanced at the plastic-wrapped cushion under your thigh. “If this couch is the final product, I’m worried.”

“Don’t be,” Frank said dryly. He didn’t want to scare it off, whatever this was, whatever fragile bridge had pulled you back toward him tonight. “I’m planning a grand unveiling in 2037, right after I find the will to unpack the blender.”

You nudged his ankle with your foot, light. “Now that’s impressive.”

He smiled. It wasn’t a big thing. But it was the real one—the kind that didn’t feel like a mask.

Frank’s smile stuck around, small and lopsided. You could tell he was tired, the kind of tired where everything got a little looser at the seams and emotions sloshing around in the silence between words.

Side by side, your legs brushed faintly whenever either of you shifted. The kind of closeness that felt accidental on the surface but wasn’t, not really.

Frank lifted his mug in a half-hearted toast. “So, what’s the nurse-verified rating on my hospitality so far?”

You tilted your head, letting your eyes wander the apartment. Still mostly boxes. The flickering votive candle on the counter cast shadows over the sippy cup on the bookshelf and the sad, slumped dinosaur on the floor.

“Well…” You said slowly. “The couch sounds like a haunted pool float, and I’m pretty sure your radiator is planning a coup. So… solid seven out of ten.”

“Seven?” Frank repeated, looking genuinely wounded. “Kind of harsh. I lit a candle.”

You turned your head toward the tiny flame on the counter, flickering like it was afraid of commitment.

“That’s a tea light you found at the bottom of a drawer.” You replied. “And it smells like sadness.”

“It’s called Rain Linen, too,” Frank argued.

You sipped your coffee. “Exactly.”

He laughed—barely there, but real. “Tough crowd.”

“You’d get an eight if you found me a blanket that doesn’t come out of one of those boxes.”

Frank stood halfway, grabbing something draped over the armchair. He tossed it toward you—a sweatshirt. Soft. Worn. Still faintly smelling of him.

“Emergency blanket.” He said as he slumped back into the plastic-wrapped cushion. “Limited stock.”

You didn’t fight it. Just pulled it over your head like it belonged there. It smelled like him. Laundry detergent, stale coffee, and something else—maybe an old cologne he didn’t wear anymore. You wondered if it had been for the kids. Or for someone who didn’t live here anymore.

“…Okay….” You conceded. “Eight.”

Frank’s mouth ticked upward. “Progress.”

You tilted your head back, exhaling slowly. The ceiling had a faint water stain in the corner. The candle flickered again, casting a gold hue over the curve of Frank’s cheek.

“You know,” you began after a beat, eyes half-closed. “This still beats sleeping three feet from the janitor's closet.”

“To low standards and plastic couches.” Frank raised his mug again, mock solemn.

You clinked your mug against his with a small thunk of ceramic. “Cheers.”

Frank glanced at you. He felt something loosen in his chest. Something that had been wound tight for months. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel like a walking regret.

—

The mattress was too warm, too comfortable in the wrong places, and still smelled like cardboard. It dipped in the middle, pulling you both toward the inevitable gravity of sharing something too small and too temporary.

Maybe it was the exhaustion, or the rain, or the way your guard had been ground down over weeks of double shifts and subtle stares—but you felt soft. Unarmored. And Frank noticed. Of course, he did, but he let you have it.

You weren’t touching Frank, but you could be. One shift of a knee, one breath too deep.

The room was dim, just the orange haze of the streetlight bleeding through the small bedroom window. The storm pressed against the windows, reminding you it still wanted in. The city hummed below, sirens trailing faintly through the neighborhood. It felt far away. Blurred. Like the hospital had been some kind of fever dream, and now this was the strange after-image left behind.

The couch hadn’t been an option. It still wore its plastic wrap like a shield, and Frank, in all his unbothered chaos, had only shrugged, “Too tired to pretend I have a real living room.”

So now you were here. In his room. Back to back. Sort of. On his mattress, the only thing unpacked.

The bedroom wasn’t tense, just tired. Mutual, bone-deep exhaustion—the kind only the ED could teach you. You could still taste the metallic tang of adrenaline if you thought hard enough. You could still feel the ghost of the pulse line flattening on a trauma patient, the cold sting of antiseptic on your skin.

Frank exhaled a low sigh beside you. “Goodnight, Nurse Sunshine.”

You smiled faintly as your eyes stayed on the ceiling. “There it is.”

A beat.

Then his voice, faintly curious: “There what is?”

“Your teasing.” You turned slightly to glance over your shoulder at him. “You’ve been weird all night. Frank Langdon with a filter is too nice—I thought you’d finally burned out.”

He made a soft sound—a half-scoff, half-humorless laugh. “What, were you hoping for something else? Is that it? Next time, I’ll insult your handwriting and throw a chair for balance.”

“Christ.” You cursed, gaze flicking toward the ceiling to hide your humor. “Forgot how soothing your bedside manner was.”

Frank shifted behind you, the mattress dipping further under the redistribution of weight. You turned to face him more fully, your arm folding under your cheek.

He was already watching you. Not with the usual glint. No smirk, no challenge. Just something unreadable. Curiosity, maybe. Or restraint. Tired, yes—but present. Focused.

Neither of you spoke.

The room pulsed with something heavier than words. The kind that sits just under your breastbone and hums. You could feel the heat of him, the nearness. Your limbs didn’t ache at the warmth, but your chest did.

You could see everything in this light—the faint scar on his chin, the deeper ones in his eyes. He looked lighter, too, in this space. Less Langdon: The Golden Boy and more man with a worn-down mattress, a mess of half-open boxes, and a T-Rex toy in the corner, no one had stepped on yet.

He didn’t reach for you. Didn’t lean in. But he didn’t look away either.

“I’m not the only one off tonight.”

“Yeah?” It was more of a confirmation than a question, but you still asked.

He gave the smallest nod, the kind you’d miss if you weren’t looking right at him.

“You’re not usually this…” He trailed off. The corner of his mouth tugged like he meant to make a joke of it, but couldn’t find the punchline.

“Don’t read into it. I’m just… tired.” Your voice was a breath more vulnerable than you wanted.

Then, lips quirking faintly: “You’ve been tired before. I’ve never seen you like this.”

You swallowed hard. Your throat felt dry. Frank studied you a beat longer, then let his head fall back on the pillow with a lazy sigh.

“I guess all it took was getting you in my bed.”

You huffed, less annoyed, more amused. The laugh escaped before you could catch it, surprising even yourself. But it lingered there, in the warmth between you, in the nearness that should’ve felt strange. It should’ve felt wrong.

“Just a long week.”

Frank nodded. “It’s been a long decade.”

“You too, huh?” You offered a slow shrug, letting your arm drape over your stomach like a flag of surrender. “Turns out watching people fall apart for a living isn’t super rejuvenating.”

Frank didn’t smile, but there was something in his face, recognition, maybe. Or guilt, worn soft by time.

The bed dipped again as he shifted, stretching his legs. His hand brushed yours, not enough to be deliberate, but enough to jolt something loose. You didn’t move it away.

“I almost called you last week.” Frank nodded once, small and tight, like the words had cost him more than he wanted to admit. “After that DOA in Trauma 2.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He was quiet long enough that you thought he wouldn’t answer.

Then, finally: “Didn’t want to make it—Didn’t want to… need something from you.”

That did something to your chest. Twisted it.

You could’ve made a joke. Dodged it. Asked about his IKEA allergy, but you didn’t. Instead, your fingers curled closer to his on the sheets, knuckles almost brushing.

You let everything settle, let it fold around you like a blanket that didn’t quite reach the feet.

Yet, you still whispered, “I’m here now.”

Frank didn’t say anything. But he didn’t move either. And in that moment, still and peaceful, the air between you did what the hospital never let it do—it breathed.

If you’d asked yourself at the beginning of the shift whether you’d end up here—in Frank Langdon’s bed, staring at the ceiling with your pulse in your ears—you would’ve assumed you'd collapsed into a coma and someone was feeding you fevered hallucinations out of spite.

You blinked slowly. Your eyes didn’t open again right away. The mattress was too warm. Your limbs too heavy. Everything floated.

The fluorescent-bright hospital was a universe away now. But for a second, your mind drifted there—half-asleep, half-aware—and you saw Frank again the way you had earlier that night.

Not with his usual sharpness. Not bored, or cracking some off-color remark to distract from the tension in the room. But listening. He’d knelt next to an elderly man in Trauma 3, held his hand when the monitors began to drop, and whispered something—something kind, but you couldn’t hear the words. It had stopped you cold. The grief in Frank’s face wasn’t performative. It wasn’t for anyone’s benefit. It was real.

You saw it. You felt it. Something in you shifted then, even if you didn’t want to name it. He hadn’t seen you watching and maybe that’s why it stuck.

Now, here, in his bed—not touching, but close—you wondered if that shift was still echoing somewhere close. You turned your face back toward the window. Let your eyes follow the glint of rain on glass.

And then—

“Am I too lucky to think this’ll carry into tomorrow?” Beside you, Frank’s breath was steady and slow.

Frank’s words were measured, like he wasn’t quite asking, but already knew the answer might disappoint him.

“I can be bribed with coffee.” You slurred just slightly from the edges of exhaustion.

A beat of a pause, then you heard the way he exhaled—half a chuckle, half a release of something else. Something heavier.

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“I’m a nurse.” Your words ran together in a whisper. “We run on spite and caffeine.”

Frank shifted slightly, and you felt the faint brush of his knee against yours under the blanket. It wasn’t intentional. Probably.

That the warmth blooming low in your chest had nothing to do with him, or the softness he showed when he didn’t think anyone was watching. That the way your voice had dropped, the way your guard had slipped, wasn’t because of the look he gave you now, or the subtle way he’d been retreating all night like he didn’t trust the shift between you.

You told yourself all of that, but you didn’t move away. And neither did he.

Outside, the storm calmed to a hiss. The sirens faded. Somewhere in the next room, the heater kicked on again with a clunk. Familiar, homely, mundane.

You just lie there. Still. Frank shifted slightly, breath transitioning into the rhythm of sleep. And maybe tomorrow, in the bright buzz of hospital fluorescents, it would be like nothing happened at all. But tonight, in the hush of the storm and the slow exhale of sleep, something had shifted.

And neither of you had run.

#ADAD2025 #ADOCTORADAY #the pitt writing challenge #the pitt writing event #the pitt creative event #the pitt fanfiction #the pitt #frank #langdon #frank langdon #dr frank langdon #dr frank langdon x reader #dr frank langdon x f!reader #frank langdon x f!reader #frank langdon x reader #frank langdon angst #frank langdon fluff

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carbonfiction · 4 months ago

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(please ignore and forgive me if this is inappropriate, i tried to search for some ask guidelines but haven't found any and i really need to scream about this) logan that likes to usa/play with reader's mutation. if they have supersonic scream, he tries to give it to them so good they shatter the mansion's windows. if they control plants (like a poison ivy situation), he asks for hits of pheromone so he can go even longer than he usually does until they go cross-eyed. if they have wings, he tries to find for erogenous zones in them and teases them by tickling them with their own feathers. if they control ice, temperature play is in order. and so on, and so forth.

this is perfectly fine w me dont worry! And thank you for reminding me to work on a guideline! I completely forgot to do that!!

So Firstly. Yes. Oh my fucking god yes anon!! Your mind is 🤌🤌

Logan would absolutely eat that shit up. He is SUCH a fuckin tease at heart that testing you, prodding and poking to see how far he could push, would be SO his jam.

If your mutation, as you said, was supersonic scream he would 1000% be fucking into you just that bit more intensely. Each stroke of his cock pushing deep and slowly drawing louder moans and mewls from you. He just would not stop fucking you- im talking 4th orgasm (on his cock alone- not counting the oral beforehand) and quite literally going brainless.

No longer can you even think to hold it in when his tip pushes against that gummy spot (that hes already spent ages with), thumb harsh on your clit. "Cmon n' do it princess, let it out yeah?" he goads against your ear with a breathless chuckle, pace picking up. "let em hear how good this pussy gets fucked. Be a good girl and sing f'me, show em baby"

Like?????

That is an incident your pride never quite recovers from; cumming on logans cock so hard that your screams shattered multiple windows..

Logan then has the gall to stand beside you beyond amused and snickering when the two of you are later called to charles office to explain.

Theres a very fun idea to be had on the temperature play situation bc i would loooove to tease him with it? Like we all know this mf has a pain kink and so the idea of incorporating something that brings that slight lick of pain w temps?- ice when left in one spot too long for example?? 😵‍💫 i need more thoughs on this bc i would love to expand

And the plants!!! Do not Omg, literally my favorite thing. (Whenever i read mutant!reader fics thats always my go to) Aside from any extra pheromones he could get, logan would just take such a level of pride?? Lets say?? in seeing the vines/flower ect, sprouting around you. "Oh Look at those.. So fuckin pretty" he coos humorously, hand grabbing at your jaw to point your head in the direction of the growing green, fingers tapping at your cheek for your full, hazy, attention. "Sprouting all those pretty buds when my favorite one is right here.." a gruff laugh when your back arches with a sharp whine, his fingers tight on your clit again. "Fuckin spoilin me here princess"

Not to mention if one of those bunches of shrubbery then wrapped around him; pushing him deeper or keeping him from pulling out-

It gives him such a job well done feeling yk? More satisfying to him than being praised verbally i swear-

I have to stop for fear of how long this could get if i really get going but Anon.. Anon you've ruined me. I love you. Im going to be thinking about this for a very long time.. (And also feel free to drop more of this into my inbox bc hellloooooo😵‍💫)

#losin my mind over this ask #i am going insane #logan howlett #wolverine #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett smut #wolverine smut #logan howlett x reader smut #logan howlet x reader #carbonrambles #carbonasksforasks

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stargirlygirl · 10 days ago

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I really love your smut gone wrong with lads boys fics! I read all of them and I only main Caleb! I saw your inbox was open and my that I hope you mean you're taking requests. If not, feel free to ignore this and my apologies! Imagine sex with Caleb but reader's very sensitive to the different stimuli. reader asks Caleb to have sex with him outdoors or in the car, basically in a new environment but keeps changing her mind because it wasn't as fun as she'd imagined.

star girl's initial words: thank you so much for requesting!! i love this idea, and it makes me really happy that like my embarrassing/gone wrong moments series so far. i did get a bit carried away, so thanks for your patience! i hope you like this one.

first time car sex with caleb

contains: nsfw, protected sex, p in v, caleb is insistent on consent, 3.3k words

reference p-link ⟶ because of the reference, reader is shy, petite and (somewhat) implied skinny so SORRY my tall girlies

note on watching the p-link: it's on twitter so you need to be logged in to view it

You’ve had the perfect date.

Caleb took you to the local park for a picnic. He made you close your eyes as he guided you to the setup blanket and goodies beneath a cherry blossom tree. The fresh flowers were so fragrant, petals blowing in the breeze and dropping into your food. It made you giggle, picking pink petals out of your boyfie’s braised chicken wings. After you were well-fed, you and Caleb walked around the park, holding hands and talking about whatever came up.

With the sun drawing nearer to the horizon, you two decided to pack up and head home.

The dying sun’s rays illuminate your figures walking to Caleb’s Lamborghini, picnic basket and blanket in arms. Dumping them in the trunk, you head over to the passenger’s side while your lover climbs into the driver’s seat. He’s about to start the engine when you place a hand on his knee and call his name.

You’ve always been sensitive to your surroundings. It made you anxious when it was too loud or if the lights were too intense. Space as well, whether your surroundings were very open or particularly cramped, could trigger your discomfort. It’s something that developed when you were a teenager and became instilled as you matured.

Growing up with Caleb, he knew before you did and has accommodated for your needs since. If you’re at a shopping mall and the incessant music and chatting are getting on your nerves, he’ll pop your earplugs in and regularly ask if you’re feeling better. At events, he’s the first to notice when you become overstimulated and takes you out of the situation, suggesting a short walk or driving you home. He had dimming lights installed in his Skyhaven apartment, so you can choose the light’s brightness whenever you come over. Your boyfriend also avoids long car rides with you because he knows how suffocating the tight space can make you feel.

Caleb gazes at you with slightly raised brows and parted lips, which quickly morph into a warm smile.

“What is it, honey?” He asks lovingly. You squeeze his knee, your teeth pulling at your lower lip.

You’ve just gotten this crazy idea. Something you never thought would come to mind, let alone be considered.

Seeing your hesitation, your pilot pulls the key out of the ignition and tosses it on the dash. He undoes his seatbelt, the fastener clinking as it hits the car’s interior. Shifting in his seat, Caleb takes hold of your hand on his knee and brings it to his lips.

Pressing a light kiss to your knuckles, he murmurs, “You can tell me, pips. I want to hear whatever you have to say.”

Averting your eyes to the hem of your floral minidress, you mumble, “You’ll think I’m weird.”

“No, I won’t, baby,” he reassures you, his grip on your hand tightening momentarily.

Glancing up, you whisper, “I wanna try something new.” Caleb leans over, his head turned to the side so his ear is near your mouth.

“Whaddya wanna try?” He grins boyishly.

Inching closer, your lips brush his ear as you ask tentatively, “Do you wanna do it here?” Your boyfriend just blinks, his mind racing with thoughts of hallucinations.

“What?” He finally mutters, drawing back to gaze at you. His brows are pinched, and you start mentally berating yourself for being a little too freaky with him (as if you could be, but okay).

“We don’t have to, babe! Sorry, I just—”

“No, that’s not it, honey. I’m, uh, confused. What exactly do you want to do in here?” Caleb asks, letting go of your hand to exchange it for tucking a stray lock behind your ear. Your nerves ramp up to a hundred, tingles dispersing across your skin from the contact between his fingertips and the shell of your ear.

Gnawing on your lip, you ramble, “I was just thinking that, you know, like if you wanted to, we could, you know, like—”

“I don’t know, pips. So I need you to tell me what you want,” he cuts you off. “Just take a deep breath and try again, okay?” His tone is gentle, as is the look in his amethyst eyes. You hum in agreement before inhaling fully.

Since you can remember, sometimes you find it difficult to articulate your thoughts. You don’t want to leave a bad impression or step on anyone’s toes. But Caleb’s always been patient with you and prompted you to keep going even when words seem to fail you.

You exhale, “I want to try having sex with you in here.” You add shyly, “Like right now.” It’s quiet for a few seconds, the cricket’s buzz from outside the only sound penetrating the silence. Until Caleb starts laughing at you. His body shudders as he guffaws, his forehead resting on your shoulder.

You pout, “It’s not funny!”

He manages to say through his laughter, “It’s pretty funny.” Wiping his tears away, your lover lifts his head and brings his face to yours. Cupping your cheeks, he nuzzles your nose with his own.

“Why don’t you think about it and get back to me?” He suggests, his thumbs stroking your cheekbones.

You shake your head slightly and insist, “I want to, baby. I really do.” Pulling back, you tilt your head and kiss his cheek lightly.

Caleb sighs, “Right now?” You nod and peck his jaw.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit cramped, honey?” He offers. That stops you in your tracks, urging you to shift back and meet his bright eyes.

You mumble, “If you don’t want to, you can just say so. You don’t have to be nice about it, babe.” Your boyfriend shakes his head, his brow creasing once more.

“I’m not being nice, pips. I need to make sure this is what you really want before we go any further,” he mutters, his jaw visibly tightening. You lean in and place another kiss there, helping to alleviate some of the tension.

You murmur, “I do. I wanna try this with you, Caleb. I know you’ll take good care of me. I trust you.” He nods, eyes searching yours for any hint of doubt. One of his hands shifts to your nape, his fingers toasty and putting you at ease. Satisfied with his analysis, your pilot closes the gap between your lips.

His kiss is slow and passionate, eliciting a sigh from you. Angling your head, Caleb glides his tongue across your lower lip, already hungry to taste you. Granting him access, you two sample each other’s mouths like the finest wine. You’re drunk on the sweet apple pie lingering on his taste buds— the apple pie you made for your afternoon together.

Moaning into him, your hands roam to his shoulders and trail down his firm torso through the white jumper he’s got on. You pull it out of his black trousers, bunching up the hem in your fists. Your lover nibbles on your lip, making you gasp. His lips trace your jaw and the length of your neck, his callused palms pushing your smaller frame into him.

“Caleb,” you mewl softly, your delicate skin caught between his teeth.

Placing a sloppy kiss on your collarbone, he murmurs, “C’mere, honey.” With one muscular arm around your waist and the other looped beneath your knees (fuck the seatbelt), Caleb lifts you over the console and sits you on his lap. All the while, you squeal and hold his neck for support.

His rough hands slide up your bare thighs, their texture leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your dress is pushed up, and your panties are swiftly pulled off and tossed in the back for later. The sudden exposure makes you gasp and bite your kiss-swollen lip. Concern darts across Caleb’s handsome face, his hands gripping your bare hips.

He checks in with you, “Is this okay, pips? Am I moving too fast?”

You shake your head, but he’s not continuing until you mumble, “I’m okay. I want to keep going.” He hums softly, the sound resonating in his throat as he captures your lips in a loving kiss. His fingertips stroke your thigh, drawing circles before sliding across your pelvis. He lingers above your heat, cautious.

“Yes,” you pant, your thighs clenching with need. Caleb palms your cunt; his hand is so warm it makes you melt. His long fingers slip into your wet slit, teasing your hole before circling your clit. You moan salaciously near his ear, your arm draped over his broad shoulders and holding on like your life depends on it. Your thighs tense as he sets a pleasurable rhythm over your swollen bud.

Dropping his head, your lover licks your cleavage, teeth nipping at the fat of your breasts as you buck into his hand. One of your hands shifts to his hair, fingers tangling in his silky locks and tugging. Your ah-ahs are so quiet and sweet, like they’re reserved for Caleb’s ears only (they are; if they weren’t, the colonel might skin someone alive).

Your lover’s fingers slip down your folds and prod at your dripping hole.

He asks drunkenly, “Can I, baby?”

“Mhmm,” you hum breathily.

“How many?” He murmurs, tipping his head back to gaze up at you. His cheeks and the tips of his ears are all red, his sunset eyes hazy with lust.

You whisper, “Just one.” And one loooooong finger it is easing into your sopping pussy. His finger curls and presses against your ridged walls, making your back contort into a beautiful half-moon. Your tits are inevitably thrust into Caleb’s face, and he buries his nose in the valley between them. Breathing you in, your lover repeatedly slides his fingertip against your walls, ripping guttural moans from his otherwise shy girlfriend.

Pressure builds in the pit of your tummy, bringing you closer to the edge of your orgasm. Your thighs clamp around his hand as you squeeze your eyes shut.

You choke out, “F-fuck,” as his thumb rolls over your clit, his middle finger still deep inside of you. Caleb groans into your chest, obsessed with how only he gets to see you like this. Losing composure, on the brink of your climax, biting your lip and trying not to babble out a dictionary of curse words. Pulling back for air, his nose ghosts yours as you seize up around his hand.

You squirt uncontrollably, the clear liquid spurting into his palm and making a mess of your thighs, him, and his leather car seat. Gasps and mewls tumble from your lips, forehead flush against Caleb’s as your body trembles. The pleasure in blinding; it’s like you’ve been dipped into a cauldron, this heat sparking on your skin and seeping into your bones.

“C-Caleb!” You squeak, your clit far too sensitive for the way he’s still circling it.

Knowing passes through you two, and he stops his movements. Slowly, your boyfriend’s finger slips out, and his soaking wet hand retreats from your clenched thighs. Your arousal drips into your skin as the final tremors course through you, making you shake and whine.

He groans, “Fuck, baby.” Your forehead rests against his scalp, eyes half-lidded and unprepared for what Caleb does next.

Raising his damp hand, he licks up from his wrist to his fingertip, tasting your release. He moans; your flavour is his absolute favourite. Your lover sucks on his slender fingers, making you mewl and your cheeks become even redder.

“Caleb,” you pant. His other arm is still tight around your waist, and he squishes you into his solid torso momentarily.

Your boyfriend rasps out, “You alright, baby? Everything okay so far?”

“Mhmm,” you hum quietly while nodding. Once Caleb’s lucky hand is thoroughly cleansed of your delicious juices, he squeezes your knee with it.

Tilting his head back, he beams up at you, “You wanna keep going?”

“Yes,” you whisper. As soon as the affirmation escapes your lips, Caleb bundles you up in his arms and sets you back down in the passenger seat.

“Baby, what’re you—” Your own squeal cuts you off as your pilot pulls the lever underneath the seat and slides you back. You watch as he kicks off his shoes and yanks off his long sleeve before throwing them haphazardly in the back seat. Climbing over the console, Caleb braces himself with one hand on the headrest while the other unbuckles his belt.

He smirks, “A little help, pips?” Nodding, you undo his pants and shimmy them down his thighs. Next, you pull down his trunks, your lover’s erection springing free. You nibble on your lip, eyeing the pre-cum leaking from his flushed tip.

Gazing up, you ask, “Do you have a condom?” He tilts his head to the side.

“In the console.” Turning slightly, you flip open the console and fish around for the little golden packet. You catch it between your fingers and tear through the foil hurriedly. Sliding it down his length, you spit on your hand and pump him a few times.

Groaning, Caleb grabs your chin and tips your head back. You feel so small compared to him, his buff body encasing yours and shielding you from the outside world. His eyes reflect the dusk enveloping the park outside.

He instructs, “Bend your knees up into your chest.” You do as you’re told, grabbing your knees and holding them close.

Caleb mumbles, “Just stay like that, baby,” before adjusting the seat back a bit more.

Getting down on his knees, he strokes himself before dragging his covered tip up your still sensitive slit. You mewl softly, staring at him with the prettiest doe eyes your boyfriend’s ever seen.

Encircling your shoulders with his meaty arm, he murmurs into your hair, “Is it alright if I—”

“Yes!” You moan, the head of his cock dipping in slightly.

You can hear his smirk as he says cockily, “Alright, honey.” Caleb takes his time sliding into you, letting you adjust to his girth before diving in further. When he bottoms out, you feel so full. You always feel so full whenever he’s inside of you.

Your boyfriend just stays there, still, for a minute until you give him the go-ahead, “’M okay. Please. Please move.” Your voice broke a little on the first “please”. He hums before drawing out and sliding back into you. His arm around your shoulders shifts so that his hand grasps your head, fingers threading through your hair. His other hand grips the car seat above you.

Caleb’s thrusts are controlled, but you whimper breathily nonetheless. His current angle is deep, every tap of his balls against your ass forcing the air out your lungs.

Quickly, you notice how cramped it is, between the leather seat with the contrast stitching digging into your plush flesh, to the mountain of man rutting into you. He’s everywhere, his scent singeing your nostrils and body heat bleeding into your muscles.

“Caleb,” you whine, letting go of your knees and palming his chest. He stops immediately.

“What’s wrong, honey?” He asks worriedly, frantic eyes searching for the source of your discomfort. You release your bitten bottom lip and meet his concerned gaze.

You mumble, “It’s really cramped.”

His shoulders slump as he sighs, “Told you it would be, pips.”

“Mhmm, I know.” Pressing on his chest, you try to get more comfortable by shifting down in the seat, your ass now at the edge. Caleb groans as you move, your walls tightening around his length.

“Sorry,” you whisper. Brushing your hair back with one hand, he leans down and kisses your temple.

“S’fine, honey. Do you want me to pull out?” He asks tenderly.

“No! No, it’s okay. I’m okay now,” you insist.

Drawing back, your boyfriend places both hands on either side of you. He thrusts into you at the same leisurely pace, focusing on depth rather than speed. Your back arches as you moan, his tip nudging the perfect spot nestled deep within your drooling pussy.

You keep your knees tucked into your chest, your eyes rolling back with how good he feels inside of you. A high-pitched whimper falls from your lips as his pelvis nudges your clit. Caleb smirks and does it again, intoxicated by the sound of your pleasure.

Your hands splay over his pecs for stability as he starts rutting into you faster. Stuttered moans are forced out of your chest, intermingling with your boyfriend’s low whines. The air is charged with sweat and sex, suddenly stifling. You really wish you two had let a window down before pouncing on each other.

Caleb fucks you even rougher now, turning you into a trembling mess of mewls and whimpers. You can barely breathe with how you’re folded right now. And add to that your lover’s enthusiasm.

Turning your head to the side to avoid his panting on your face, you notice how dark it’s gotten outside. Violet blends with coral and paints the sky. It’s beautiful. And then it’s obscured by your boyfriend’s massive bicep.

Unsure of what to do, you tug on his dog tags. The sudden pull catches your pilot off guard, sending him forward before he grasps the headrest. He doesn’t know whether you meant to play or wanted to stop, but he’s confident that you wanted his attention.

“You okay?” He pants, drawing back and rolling into you with lazy hips. You shake your head, causing Caleb to immediately pull out. His length slaps his abdomen as he cages you in beneath him.

He asks gently, “Was it something I did, honey?” Again, you shake your head.

Reaching up, you hold his freckled cheeks and murmur, “I just feel really overwhelmed right now.” Your boyfriend nods slowly, processing your words with a gulp.

“Alright. Tell me about it, baby.”

You gaze down at the slim space between your bodies, explaining shyly, “It’s just… you’re so big, and the car is so small. I feel like I can’t breathe.” Caleb nods and kisses your forehead before tugging his trunks up. Your eyes snap up in panic, your hands grabbing his as he zips up his trousers.

“I don’t wanna stop,” you blurt out. He stares at you with eyes comparable to saucers.

Then, he sighs, “Honey, what do you mean you don’t want to stop? You’re clearly uncomfortable. You don’t need to force yourself to keep going for my sake.”

You try to reassure him, “I’m not! I’m not, I… I don’t know. I-I mean you’re right, I am uncomfortable, but this feels really good.” However, in doing so, you’re left even more confused about how you want to proceed. Caleb shrugs your hands off and fastens his belt.

“Caleb,” you pout. He shakes his head and leans over, chastely kissing your cheek.

Pulling back, he says sternly, “I don’t know doesn’t mean yes, honey. And I won’t keep going if you aren’t 100% sure about what you want.” Grabbing your knees, he pushes them down so the back of your thighs hit the smooth leather.

“Now,” he exhales. “I’m gonna get your panties out of the back and we’re gonna go home, okay?” You nod, your heart still racing from the adrenaline of your bodies being intertwined moments prior.

Caleb does as he said he would, flinging your pretty lace panties into the front and returning to the driver’s seat with his jumper and shoes back on. He even slides your seat back to where it was before switching on the engine and reversing out of the empty car park.

Hitting the main road, you ask him nervously, “Caleb, can we continue when we get home?”

Palming the steering wheel to turn a corner, he grins, “If you want to, pips.”

You nod energetically as renewed heat pools in your damp panties, “I do, baby. I 100% do.”

embarrassing/gone wrong sex moments m.list

star girl's final words: random lore drop of the day is that i'm 4'9. yep. 145cm tall (cries in short). and wish i was writing from experience (one chance caleb pls on my knees)😔

#★’s works #love and deepspace #caleb love and deepspace #caleb smut #xia yizhou smut #caleb x reader #lads caleb #lnds caleb #caleb x you

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seosracha · 4 months ago

Text

⸻ SOUVENIR (preview)

POSTED HERE !!

SYNOPSIS ⸻ getting into your dream school, far away from the place you are forced to call home, in a romantic place like Paris has always been your dream. Even more dreamy is your fathers best friend, Park Jonseong, who just so happens to be a well-off lawyer in the heart of France.

PAIRING ⸻ dads bestfriend!jay x fem!reader

GENRE ⸻ strangers to lovers, fluff, smut

TAGS ⸻ power imbalance, age gap (reader is 20, jay is 38), daddy issues, both don't have a mother, lawyer!jay :D, descriptions of France that might be incorrect (sorry), more tba.

WC ⸻ currently 5k, est 15-20k

PLAYLIST ⸻ souvenir by selena gomez, je me souviens de tout by tayc, 100 by dean blunt, sad girl by lana del rey

NOTE ⸻ all updates regarding this fic will be published under its tag. i want to make it worth the wait so it probably wont be published this month, or the next. But i PROMISEE ill try to get it out as soon as possible. ill leave u with this for now;)

It’s Sunday. And you're fucking stressed.

The week that led up to the beginning of the semester had been fun enough to make you second guess going to school all together. Seeing the picture perfect city with your own two eyes was a blessing you never expected to experience.

You’re on his couch, flipping through one of the aged books that could be found on his shelf.

French. Complicated. Too serious. But at least you could pretend you understand, or even care for the piece of literature.

Jay sits at the kitchen counter, typing away at his laptop. And honestly, he doesn't know why. Just five steps away is his office, perfectly designed to accommodate all his needs. Yet he chooses the hard, uncomfortable stool at the kitchen island.

“Jay-” you start, eyes still on the book that has caused you to become more bored than you were before opening it “What kind of lawyer are you? Like, what do actually do” your voice is casual, as you steal a glance at him.

He fixes his glasses but doesn't look away. “Corporate” it’s fast, and automatic, almost like he’s heard the question millions of times in his life. Probably because he has.

“Boring” you comment, expecting something more scandalous.

“Pays the bills. That’s enough” his voice is even.

You turn on your side, stretching out your legs. He watches. He watches you, comfortable in his space. Almost too comfortable.

“Sorry to disappoint” he adds, putting his focus back on the unanswered mails in his inbox. But he knows you’re right there, and it bothers him. Not in a bad way- and that feels oddly unsettling.

“Have you never considered something dirtier? Riskier?” you muse, tilting your head.

It was just curiosity. You weren't doing it on purpose.

Were you?

“Dirtier?” he mutters to himself, before glancing away one more time “I don’t take risks. It’s idiotic” the explanation is accompanied by his firm tone.

“Never?” his eyes gloss over the work he hasn't finished yet. He still closes his laptop though. Jay walks over to the couch, sitting down close to you, but not too close.

A hum of disagreement slips past his lips “Never” he leans back on the couch, exhaling deeply as he looks at the time.

“I think you like control too much” you know that you shouldn’t comment on his decisions or life, but it comes naturally as you can’t stop the words from coming out.

He chuckles, looking over at you, watching the way your body spreads out on the brown leather couch “And I think you talk too much”

Still, something inside him tenses. Jay knows you’re right, but at the same time, it pisses him off because- you have no idea.

You laugh softly, shaking your head as you set down the book on his coffee table. Jacques Prévert. Opened right on the poem he knows by heart.

‘Bête comme les regrets, tendre comme le souvenir’ - Foolish as regrets, tender as memory. Jay always liked the line. More than the poem itself, actually. When he first read it, he didn't quite understand. He still doesn't, not when he never experienced that fragile love, beautiful as day and cold as marble.

His father had given him the book right before he moved out. Jay never really comes back to it- written in French, by a French author, it still reeks of the life he desires to forget. The life that he hasn't lived for the past 20 years- yet it always comes back to him in the most unexpected moments.

“You’re just like all of my dads old friends, I swear” It's playful, harmless. But Jay stills at the jab, his gaze freezing on you.

“Old?” he raises an eyebrow, and there's a smirk that tugs at the corner of your lips.

“Older” you correct, too deliberately.

It’s almost like you're mocking him, testing his ignorance. It’s like you want to see if he’ll correct you. He doesn't.

He knows you're not the stubborn kid his friend used to complain about. But he also knows how much older he’s gotten since then. It seems to terrify Jay, the fact that it doesn't stop him, not at all.

Jay knows he’s the one who brought you here, and maybe he could blame it on the slip of his tongue, or perhaps the need to fulfil an obligation towards his friend, but that wouldn’t be necessarily true.

He sullied his life with his own hands, and he knew how much harder it was only going to get to not dirty yours too.

#SOUVENIR - 📝#enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #enhypen jay #jay x reader #jay smut #jay park #park jongseong #jongseong x reader #jongseong smut

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sundrop-writes · 1 month ago

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[Hope this is okay]

Could you do a wee thing about the Teen Wolf guys supporting their [mate/partner/wife/other] giving birth?

Your teen wolf stuff hits me right in the feels and I am thinking of this one a lot lately.

see, this is why I love keeping old requests in my inbox, because then when I am feeling the creative flow for that fandom again, I can just go back to those requests

also, I just picked four of the first guys from the show that came to mind, but please let me know if you want me to talk more about Vernon or Jackson or others. they are underappreciated and I love them too

Teen Wolf requests are OPEN. Please read my Rules before requesting!

How would the Teen Wolf boys help you through giving birth?

Included: Isaac Lahey, Scott McCall, Derek Hale, and Stiles Stilinski.

Warnings: usually I try to do GN!Reader with my reactions, but this one called for Fem!Reader - so the reader uses she/her pronouns and has the ability to get pregnant; obviously, there is mentions of giving birth and the types of medical complications that can come with it (though I purposefully didn't go into too much detail with the unpleasant aspects of giving birth); in every single one of these situations, the reader is dating the specific character and the pregnancy would be due to having sex with them, even if it's not explicitly mentioned; mentions of the reader's stomach 'getting rounder' with the progression of pregnancy, but this isn't meant to indicate that she was previously thin, just a mention of pregnancy causing the stomach to look more filled out; mentions of general Teen Wolf themes like danger, the main characters being targeted by killers, etc.; and I think that's pretty much it for this. This is mostly just fluff about our favourite guys. And like usual with my reaction fics, it's unedited.

A/N: Also I apologize in advance because I kind of went haywire toward the end and just had fun coming up with dramatic situations where someone could give birth. It's the fanfic writer in me - nothing can be peaceful, everything has to have some kind of drama.

...

Isaac would be incredibly sweet and attentive.

Isaac is someone who is good under pressure - in fact, because of his (deeply unfortunate) childhood, he genuinely thrives under pressure. He didn't react well when he found out that you were pregnant - at first, he believed that he wouldn't be well suited to being a father, and he genuinely believed that you wouldn't want him to be the father of your baby, so he tried to run from the whole situation for a while.

But once you assured him through love that you knew he would make an amazing father, he had the whole duration of your pregnancy to settle in to the idea of it, and he shifted from skiddish and timid and seemingly constantly terrified to hurt to you to someone who was far more confident as your partner. He turned into a genuine support system.

He became someone who cradled your stomach, constantly had a hand on your back, always ensured the safety of you and your unborn baby - whether it was something as small as you lifting a box or carrying in groceries, he went out of his way to take care of you.

So during your labour, he was nothing short of a servant. He put a cold cloth on your head, made sure you always had water with a straw ready at your lips the moment you turned your head, made your voice was heard so that you got exactly what you wanted and needed. And of course, he was the type of partner to bring you a giant serving of whatever food you were craving that you hadn't been able to have during pregnancy once you had been medically cleared, and he had been assured that everything with you and your new baby was fine.

He would do anything for you, and he had no problem letting everyone around you know that.

...

Scott would be a nervous wreck.

Scott is someone who is really unsure and when he has time to think about things too much, he begins to panic. So him having multiple months to think about everything that could go wrong with your pregnancy would just mean that he has multiple months to panic about it. He is excited to be a father, yes - but he is also absolutely terrified about it.

So when you called him and told him to rush to the hospital because you had gone into labour, Scott found himself stalled. He rushed to the hospital, found out what room you were in, and then - for some idiotic reason - found himself stuck in the hallway. His brain was desperate for ways to cope, and as he sat on a plastic chair outside of your room, bouncing his knee, he kept thinking about the fact that if he didn't go inside your room, then nothing could go wrong. At the very least, he wouldn't know it if anything went wrong.

But eventually, his mother came out - looking to get you a cup of water - and she gave him a harsh, disapproving glare when she found him sitting there when you had complaining that he had been late and not answering his phone. And after a stern talk where she told him that it didn't matter if he was scared, parents have to push down their fear and just do it anyway (because that's what she had been doing for him during his whole life) - he finally stepped through the threshold and found you sitting on the bed.

You were in some pain, but otherwise - perfectly fine.

And when he held your baby in his arms for the first time, he realized that what his mom said was absolutely true. He would just have to face this like he had faced deadly Alphas and hunters and giant killer lizards - terrified, pretending to be brave, and most of all: with love in his heart reminding him what was most important. He would push past all of his fear because he loved you and your new baby.

...

Derek would be incredibly protective.

Right from the moment that you found out you were pregnant, Derek was incredibly protective of you. He was weary of you riding in the car with anyone else driving but him - and in fact, he traded in his Camaro for something with much higher safety ratings, and a roomier backseat so that he could install a highly rated carseat (which looked odd to outsiders when your pregnancy wasn't even showing and you didn't have a baby to put in there, but he wanted to be well prepared). He insisted on preparing all your food himself to make sure it was safe, and any time you slept, he stayed away to keep watch over you.

From the moment he knew you were carrying his baby, he became a slave to his wolfish instincts, needing your safety to be his top priority at all times.

So naturally, this meant that he didn't trust you to be locked up in some hospital to give birth. After a lot of discussion about why it was important to him, you agreed to participate in a ritual that was ingrained into the Hale family for generations - giving birth outside. It was a werewolf thing - the need to commune with nature, especially when a baby's life was just beginning. Derek set up a very nice tent for you, and called upon the Hale family emissary - Deaton - to help you through your birth.

But other than that, he was very strict about who else was allowed to be around, still incredibly protective over you. He held your hand the entire time, coached you through the pain with soothing words and a strong hand on your back. And ultimately, your baby was born under the light of the full moon, the first member of the new generation of a strong Hale family that Derek once believed to be dead.

...

Stiles would be an unexpected hero.

Someone who threatened to faint at the sight of blood and once nearly vomited just at the mention of having to amputate Derek's arm during a similar type of medical emergency - he literally became your rock. It was a well known fact that Stiles loved to research, and from the moment that he found out you were pregnant, he had a book in his hands, a highlighter between his teeth as he tried to force himself to remember all the relevant information about breastfeeding, infant neck support, foods that could be harmful to a nursing mother.

And as your stomach grew rounder and your due date drew nearer, something that Stiles grew increasingly obsessed with researching was field deliveries. You had a birth plan in place - you were going to go to the hospital, and Melissa and Stiles were more than prepared to advocate for what you wanted - a drug free, natural delivery with very little medical intervention.

But for some reason, Stiles - every the paranoid one, especially after everything he had been through - was growing increasingly fixated on the idea that you simply wouldn't make it to the hospital once your labour started. So he had to soothe himself by researching stories of babies who had been delivered in the backs of taxis, babies who had been delivered on the side of the road, babies who had been delivered on boats in the middle of the ocean and technically didn't have a legal country of origin.

And he also became increasingly obsessed with researching any possible complications you might have during labour - because he believed that he would have to be the one to deliver your baby. And when you came across him with his laptop open, watching delivery videos again like a how to - you told him that if he didn't stop fixating on this, stressing you out, then you were going to give birth in the middle of the floor.

Little did you know - once again, his intuition had been spot on.

So when you got stuck at The Beacon Hills Animal Clinic - the power knocked out due to a raging thunderstorm, a circle of Mountain Ash that Deaton had put down being the only thing keeping you, Scott, and Stiles from being torn apart by a pack of raging Alphas - and of course, by your luck, just then your water broke and your contractions rocketed forward two minutes apart...

It was then that Stiles stepped up and actually insisted that it was one of the better situations you could have been 'stuck' in. You were surrounded by medical supplies - the Mountain Ash was keeping the Alphas at bay. You had all the time in the world, and all you had to do was trust him. So you held Scott's hand and stared into Stiles's eyes, and he used all of his well researched knowledge to bring your baby safely into the world.

...

If you enjoyed this, definitely check out the rest of my Teen Wolf Masterlist

#sundrop answers #requested #sundrop writes #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf x y/n #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagine #isaac lahey x reader #scott mccall x reader #derek hale x reader #stiles stilinski x reader

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madridfangirl · 4 months ago

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So near, yet so far

(Jude bellingham blurb. Some fighting, some fluff, some missing each other.)

‘Stop being a baby & pick up the phone.’

Jude searched for his phone blindly when it pinged, while lying face down on a pillow, saw the message from his girlfriend, then put the phone away on the side-table.

She had sent that message after four missed calls throughout. He knew she had seen him online and would have understood that he was avoiding her on purpose.

Good, he wanted her to realise that. After everything she put him through.

The phone rang again, disturbing his sulky mood. He didn’t even look up this time.

‘Fine. Remember this the next time I don’t pick up your call.’

In this department, Jude could dish it out but absolutely could not take it himself. He always went nuts when she even remotely avoided him, following her around like a lost puppy. In fact, their whole fight had started from this.

Ananya was having a super tough day at work yeaterday. She was roped in on a deal last minute and the Managing Directors of their team had to pitch next afternoon. Which meant it was all hands on deck for the whole team. All day and most of that night.

That same day, Jude had a fantastic session at training, scoring bangers for fun, nutmegging teammates like child’s play. Especially Cama - he’d never let the boy live it down. For all his snake like agility, Jude had still managed to nutmeg that silky smooth footballer. And had even secured the video of it, which he had immediately sent to Ananya, along with a few others with his shooting.

Later, Carlo had called him to the side and praised him for his sharpness. He even invited him to accompany Carlo for the next pre-match press conference. It was a big Champions league away night, which meant it was a high-profile presser that Jude was being entrusted with.

It had been a great day overall. Plus he was having a great hair day as well, & took a couple of selfies in the gym (shirtless, sweaty, just what she liked) which had immediately made their way to her inbox as well.

She was supposed to get off work sooner today, given her MDs were due to travel the next day. He had no idea the pitch had to completely be overhauled at the last minute and that she was dying at work while he was having a gala time.

When he didn’t get any response even when he got home in the afternoon, he started to wonder if something was off. If he had missed some important day or did something or said something he wasn’t supposed to. But he couldn’t think of any such thing.

‘Hey, just checking in, all good?’

One hour went by. No response.

‘I’m home, what time will you get here? Italian is good tonight?’

This was a harmless enough message, or so he thought.

‘Talk later.’

That was all she had time & energy to type back.

Food was the last thing on her mind when she saw his message. She was surviving on two apples and 5 cups of coffee all day and would probably have to pull an all-nighter by the looks of it, on a day when she was supposed to get done by 6 pm. An anomaly. A massive anomaly in her line of work. But Satan was intent on ruining her happiness.

Her team was cooped up in the conference room while her MD was on a zoom call from his mansion on the outskirts of the city, spelling out 1000 changes to the formatting while sipping a glass of red wine.

One day, she’ll get there too. But till then, she had no choice but to slog her ass off. Like the rest of her team.

In the middle of that, her phone kept buzzing. She just put it on silent and threw it in her bag. Her plans for the evening all but forgotten.

It was 6:30 pm already, and Jude figured she would have left by now. So he made the cardinal sin of calling her, twice.

‘Are you ok?’

Still no response.

‘Are you mad at me?’

He started to get worried now. And called Roma. Who was also in the room with Ananya, as frazzled as her friend, as knee deep in work as the rest of them.

Her phone was on silent too. The executive director absolutely hated any sounds when they were all cooped up together like this.

30 mins later, they finally got up for a pee break, first in over 5 hours. Ananya and Roma rushed to the loo with their bags, looking at their phones at the same time.

5 missed calls, 15 messages between the two of them. All from Jude.

Ananya was furious. She was actually hangry, which made her even more irritated with this. Even her family knew not to bother her when she was having a tough day at work, just one message was enough for them to know she’d be out of reach for a while. Jude knew that too, but still had bombarded the both of them. And what in god’s name was he doing calling Roma? It just made her look stupid in front of her friend. She didn’t like people calling her friends to check in on her, a pet peeve since childhood.

But this boy just didn’t understand.

The said boy happened to call again just then.

‘Yes?’

‘Oh hey - finally. Where were you?’

‘On Mars.’

‘Huh?’

‘Where do you think I could be, Jude? Obviously I’m working.’

‘But, I thought you were getting free early today.’

‘Yeah, not happening.’

‘When you will get done?’

‘No idea. Not anytime soon.’

‘But…we had the whole evening planned, food is also on its way.’

‘Let me go say that to my MD and maybe he’ll let me go’

The crankiness and sarcasm in her voice was increasing with every passing second. And Jude couldn’t help but wonder if it was anything more than work that was causing that.

‘Ok gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow?’

Wait what? So she was seriously not coming home all night?

‘We are travelling for the match tomorrow.’

‘After than then.’

‘International break. This was the last night before I’m on the road for 12 days.’

‘After that then.’

Her voice was curt and her attention was elsewhere, like she was barely even listening to him anymore.

‘Are we good? You’re not mad at me for something?’

‘Oh for the love of god not everything is about you. I’m dying here. DYING. You’re not important right now. I told you I was busy, so pls try to understand.’

Jude was silent. She hadn’t said she was busy. She just said talk later. How was he supposed to decipher this is what she meant? How could she be cross with him for this?

‘Bye now. See you when I see you next.’

‘Bye.’

He stared at his phone long after, and at the screen where a game of FIFA was loaded, waiting for her. The food was on it way too, which he called to cancel immediately.

It was next evening. He was in the team hotel after a long flight. But still, 24 hours later also he was in a pissy mood.

Ananya had worked all night, came back in the morning, slept for a few hours and was back in office now, on standby while the MD meeting was going on in London.

She finally got some time to focus on her irritated boyfriend, who she was trying to reach for the last 2 hours, and finally sent this message to get his attention.

Silent treatment was beyond his coping ability, they both knew that perfectly well.

‘Sure - be more mean to make up for being mean earlier.’

‘I wasn’t mean to you. I was just busy.’

‘Yeah right.’

‘Jude - I didn’t sleep all night. Didn’t have a proper meal in 24 hours. So of course I was on edge.’

‘You said I wasn’t important to you.’

‘Not important in that moment.’

‘Same thing.’

‘Big difference.’

‘Even after everything you’re still talking to me like this.’

‘How else should I talk?’

‘Like you want to make it up to me?’

‘Make it up to you?’

‘Yes. Massively.’

‘I should make it up to you coz my work is sucking the living life out of me right now? Sure, that makes sense.’

‘You forgot yesterday was the last day we had together in almost 2 weeks.’

‘It was not in my control. What could I have done?’

‘Could have felt bad for not being with me? Like I was feeling bad? Five seconds for that was too much to ask for?’

That made her take a pause. She was still learning to cope with the mad pressure that came on sprints like these, and didn’t always react in the most even-tempered way. Could she have taken a minute to talk to him softly and explain the situation? Possibly yes. But she was still leaning the ropes and all the first-year associates were as frazzled as her. Heck she only had 1 minute for a pee break, which is when she spoke to him. Why couldn’t he understand that pressure, when she understood his work pressures and how the weight of the whole world was on his shoulders at times?

‘You needed to be here to understand what it was like.’

‘Darling - I know what professional stress is.’

‘It’s different for you.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You are Jude fucking Bellingham.’

‘And don’t you think that means 100x pressure?’

‘No. Because you’re not some first year associate who is expected to work 16 hours a day, 6 days a week with near-perfect output.’

She could hear him breathing heavily at the other end. But he didn’t say anything, neither did she.

This was one of those moments where their crazy schedules got to them. As did the high-pressure of their jobs. For no particular fault of either of them. They were both fiercely ambitious, and driven in their careers. Which meant personal life suffered at times.

Ananya always wondered till what point would this be sustainable. If he’d turn around one fine day and would want more from her. That more was not in her control to give. Unless she sacrifices her dreams.

‘We’re going in circles.’

He broke the eerie silence. Another thing he wasn’t too fond of. Awkward pauses made him uncomfortable.

‘Yes we are.’

‘Did you manage to get some rest?’

‘Slept for a few hours. You?’

Jude was a sound sleeper otherwise but for the life of him could not sleep on a plane well.

‘A little bit.’

‘Match is day after right? You should get some rest.’

‘Yeah, will crash soon.’

He didn’t want to sleep before talking to her. But he absolutely didn’t want to be the one making the call.

‘The presser was nice.’

‘Hmmm.’

‘Could have smiled a bit more. Your fan pages were waiting for classic Jude happy face.’

‘Nothing to smile about in my life.’

‘Stop being dramatic.’

‘Stop being mean. And stop being so far away.’

The sincerity & longing in his voice melted her on the spot.

‘Babyyy.’

He immediately felt lighter.

‘What I wouldn’t give to hold you right now.’

Sleeping without her being next to him just wasn’t the same anymore. He slept better now when she was in his arms.

‘Me too sweetheart, me too.’

She could use a Jude hug too. Desperately. And a nice, long, peaceful sleep. But no relationship was perfect, this was something they just had to deal with.

‘Say something nice.’

‘I love you my dashing boy.’

‘More.’

‘So cute. So sweet. So sexy.’

‘More.’

‘One of the best players in the world.’

‘One of the best?’

‘Yes. The best midfielder though.’

Jude didn’t push further, knowing this was the best he’d get. She wouldn’t lie when it came to football. Not even to him or for him. This was enough for now.

‘Missing you.’

‘Me too, babu.’

Jude loved it when she used this particular Hindi word of endearment for him, which was the equivalent of baby. She often used many such words when they were snuggled together & she was cooing to him, explaining the meaning of each of them. He understood quite a few by now.

‘I can’t sleep. What do I do?’

‘Keep talking to me. And hug a pillow.’

‘Way ahead of you.’

They both hugged pillows while sleeping now, when they were not next to each other.

‘Now tell me about yesterday.’

Excitement seeped back into his drowsy voice, but the exhaustion was evident. Midway through, he started slurring some words and a few minutes later he was almost asleep, while still mumbling things to her.

‘Honey, put the phone down, turn off the light & get some rest, yeah?’

‘Yeah, ok.’

He mumbled, already near crashing.

‘Sweet dreams.’

‘Mmmm will dream of you, beautiful.’

With that, the phone dropped from his hand, while the lights were still on and the TV was on mute. But it didn’t matter. He got what he needed, so did she.

...........................................................

Wanted to do a realistic comfort fic, for all the madness happening around us.

Hope you liked it! Wrote this in 2 hours so not edited properly.

#jude bellingham #real madrid #bellingham #jude #jb5 #jb #jude bellingham smut #jude fanfic #bellingham x reader #star crossed lovers #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham blurb #desi girl #jude bellingham angst #jude fic

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bellumestpax · 5 months ago

Text

tag drop pt. 1.

𑁋 ⸢ you should stay in my good graces. ╱ interactions. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ let me give you some advice. ╱ anonymous. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ guess i'll waste another year on wondering. ╱ wishlist. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ soft skin and i perfumed it for ya. ╱ open starter. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i'm working late cause i'm a writer. ╱ out of character. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ is it that sweet? i guess so. ╱ ask memes. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i walked in and your dreams came true. ╱ answered asks. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ heartbreak is one thing ; my ego's another. ╱ queue. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i know i have good taste. ╱ promos. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i'm just kidding ; but really please. ╱ psa. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i know i have good judgement. ╱ self promo. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ well. i have a fun idea. ╱ inbox call. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ don't bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice. ╱ shipping call. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ switch it up like nintendo. ╱ desires. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ oh i leave quite an impression. ╱ reflection. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ i want to jump off a high cliff because i've never done that. ╱ mentality. ⸥ 𑁋 ⸢ don't mistake my nice for naive. ╱ aesthetic. ⸥

#𑁋 ⸢ you should stay in my good graces. ╱ interactions. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ let me give you some advice. ╱ anonymous. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ guess i'll waste another year on wondering. ╱ wishlist. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ soft skin and i perfumed it for ya. ╱ open starter. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i'm working late cause i'm a writer. ╱ out of character. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ is it that sweet? i guess so. ╱ ask memes. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i walked in and your dreams came true. ╱ answered asks. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ heartbreak is one thing ; my ego's another. ╱ queue. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i know i have good taste. ╱ promos. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i'm just kidding ; but really please. ╱ psa. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i know i have good judgement. ╱ self promo. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ well. i have a fun idea. ╱ inbox call. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ don't bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice. ╱ shipping call. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ switch it up like nintendo. ╱ desires. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ oh i leave quite an impression. ╱ reflection. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ i want to jump off a high cliff because i've never done that. ╱ mentality. ⸥#𑁋 ⸢ don't mistake my nice for naive. ╱ aesthetic. ⸥

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mikufigureoftheday · 5 months ago

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Going to be honest, the sex-negativity inherent to reacting with disgust to the very idea of people liking/enjoying more sexual figures is not a good look. It’s giving going “ewwwwwww” when two people kiss in a movie. Adults in the real world sometimes get horny and have sexual interests and that’s fine and normal, actually. I would even say it’s EXPECTED, in a community like the figure one. Esp because there’s a huge difference between just setting boundaries and, like… being a dick because an anon dared to engage with a very real aspect of the community in a little bit of a horny way. Being horny is a normal part of the human experience and def not something to call someone “creepy” or “bully” them over. That just makes you look like a puritan at worst or immature at best

My guy it doesn't make me a puritan to make fun of people who come into my inbox and pester me with asks begging me to post sexual figures of a character who is commonly depicted as being 16 years old

There are plenty of adult characters who have sexy figures, just go look at those, and stay out of my inbox

If bullying people for being creepy makes me bad well.... I'm guilty as charged ☆⌒(≧▽° )

#not sure what your goal was with this one but you tried #asks #not a figure

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lilithknoxville · 9 months ago

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Could u do a Johnny smut where her nipples are pierced and he gets turned on by it???

Barbells and Bitemarks (Johnny Knoxville x Fem! Reader) (18+!)

Summary: “What - Nipple piercings a turn on for you or somethin’?” You teased, chuckling awkwardly.

“Yes, actually.” His answer made you stop short. Your eyes raked over his face. His eyes were dark, pools of lust swimming in them. The sight alone was enough to make your knees weak, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Wh-What?” You stammered, making him snicker. His hands, which had fallen down by his sides, came up to your shoulders.

“Do I gotta spell it out for you, doll?” Johnny’s voice dropped a couple of octaves, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smirked, “I’m into girls with piercin’s, and I’m much more into them when they’re on your gorgeous ass.”

Content Warnings: Graphic Smut, 18+, Swearing, Dirty Talk, Johnny is a massive whore here, Oral (Fem Receiving), Mild Dacryphilia, Semi Public Sex, Daddy Kink

Word Count: 4,285

AN: MY FIRST EVER ASK EEEEEEEEE!!!!! I literally wanna kiss this anon on the mouth for giving me this idea /j. Thank you so much for requesting something from me, and my inbox is ABSOLUTELY still open for more requests. I may have forty documents open of smuts but I will absolutely drop them for a request. This is high key the most fun I’ve had writing a story in a while :3 again no beta reader we die like men. Also I’m posting this at 4:00 in the morning so MANNNNNNN I’m tired. Prolly gonna pass out after this LOL. Okay here we gooooooooo! ✨

You huffed out a sigh, resting your head back against the wall you were leaned up against. Jeff’s voice droned on and on, giving information and safety on a stunt that you weren’t thrilled about being a part of. So you had tried to tune Jeff out as much as possible, but his loud and booming voice wasn’t letting you zone out. You kicked a leg over your other one, shifting uncomfortably on your feet. You looked over, seeing Johnny leaned over on the opposite wall from you. You smiled slightly, and an easy smile graced his lips as well. He pushed himself off of the wall, coming over to where you were standing. He dipped his head down, his voice hushed in your ear.

“Well ain’t you the vision of bein’ enthused?” Johnny asked, his lips quirked up in a smile. You snorted out a laugh as you looked up at him.

“I’m not exactly thrilled about being up on your shoulders, Knox. I’m fuckin’ terrified of heights, and you’re not exactly short.” You smiled at him, and he shook his head, laughing.

“I promise I ain’t gonna drop you, doll.” He gave a smile that had your stomach doing somersaults, and you growled uneasily.

“I’m holding you to that.” You wrinkled your nose, a smile on your lips, and he clapped a hand on your shoulder. Jeff’s booming voice caught your attention and you cast your gaze back towards where Jeff was standing.

“Hey lovebirds, you two wanna join our conversation?” Jeff called, and the amount of hoots and hollers from the rest of the cast had you pulling your beanie down to cover your face, “Anyways - Johnny, Bam, Ryan, and (Y/N), you guys are gonna be next up for shooting. We’re going to go ahead with Steve-O, Dave, and Ehren’s stunt.” Jeff looked down at his clipboard, nodding to cement what he had just said, “But stay on deck, I’m thinking this one’ll take about an hour. Go ahead and get changed into different clothes, and be on standby. Your guys’ stunt involves mud, and we’ve still got a whole day of shooting.” Jeff clapped his hands and you were all sent on your separate ways. You headed to the trailer they had set up specifically for you, Johnny on your heels like a lost puppy. Your feelings for Johnny were… confusing, to say the least. On one hand, he was your absolute best friend in the whole wide world; You were nothing but comfortable around him. You both laughed until you cried, leaned on the other for support, and you loved each other fiercely. On the other, you were beyond in love with him. Any laugh he gave at your jokes, any smile cast your way, and anytime he touched you (albeit all of them were innocent) lit you up from the inside out.

You entered the trailer, propping the door open with your foot as you waited for Johnny. You rolled your eyes, chuckling as he stepped into your trailer.

“You gotta follow me everywhere I go like a lovesick puppy?” You teased, watching as Johnny flopped down on the small couch set up in the trailer.

“Hey, I’m makin’ sure no one fucks with you, doll. You know how these boys are.” Johnny shrugged, resting one of his arms on the back of the couch. You rolled your eyes, leaning against the doorframe with your hands behind your back. You kicked one leg over the other, rolling your eyes hard at Johnny’s comment.

“And you act like I’m not scared to beat anyone’s ass.” You snorted out a laugh, pushing off of the wall and going to the small wardrobe that was set up for you. You looked through the clothes, humming. Each outfit was marked with a name of a stunt, and you got to the one for this stunt. It was a sheer, white tank top with jean shorts. You held it up, looking at the outfit with scrutinizing eyes.

“Really?” Johnny barked out a laugh, shaking his head, “I mean - Sex sells, but if we’re sticking our only female cast member in somethin’ like this…” He chuckled again, letting out a puff of air from his nose. There was something unreadable in his eyes, and as you stared at him, trying to figure it out, he looked away, avoiding your eyes, “I dunno what they’re thinkin’.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” You tore your eyes away from him, rolling them hard. You heaved out a sigh, giving the outfit one last scrutinous glare, “But I don’t think I really have that much of a choice.” You hung the hanger on the back of a chair, your hands coming to your hoodie’s hem. You pulled your hoodie off over your head, but you failed to realize you had grabbed the bottom of your shirt as well. Immediately, you were standing in a sheer, lace bralette in front of Johnny.

Time seemed to freeze as his eyes raked over you - how the bralette pushed your boobs together, the black lace against your skin, and the two barbells pushed through each of your nipples. You yelped and covered your chest with your arm, your face flushing a bright red.

“Shit! I’m fucking sorry!” You cried, moving your arm from over your chest to try and get your shirt out of the hoodie. Your hands trembled as frantic apologies tumbled from your lips, when suddenly Johnny’s hands were covering yours.

You looked up to see him standing in front of you, his face the same shade of red as yours. His face was calm, however, and a smile ghosted over his lips.

“Doll, you ain’t gotta freak out.” His voice was quiet, a murmur, as he helped you pull the shirt out of the hoodie, “But when were you gonna tell me you’ve got piercings?” He asked, a wolfish grin on his lips. You smacked his arm with a hand, your other hand covering your chest with your shirt.

“You’re an ass!” You chuckled, your face still feeling warm, “What - Nipple piercings a turn on for you or somethin’?” You teased, chuckling awkwardly.

“Yes, actually.” His answer made you stop short. Your eyes raked over his face, looking for any sign he was joking, but there was nothing more than a cool smirk on his face. His eyes were dark, pools of lust swimming in them. The sight alone was enough to make your knees weak, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Wh-What?” You stammered, making him snicker. His hands, which had fallen down by his sides, came up to your shoulders.

Your head was absolutely swimming, the thoughts swirling through your head nothing that would be considered safe for work. But Johnny’s voice brought you back down to Earth;

“Now, you gonna let Daddy see my babygirl’s piercin’s?” He purred, his hands tracing circles on your shoulders. You shuddered under his hands, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He leaned forward, dipping his head down, and captured your lips in a kiss. Immediately, all of the breath was stolen from your lungs, and your hands scrambled to his shoulders. The kiss started off as slow and soft at first, but it slowly progressed to bruising and passionate.

He growled against your lips, something primal flaring in his chest. This wasn't just some casual kiss; this was a decade of suppressed emotions and desires erupting to the surface for the both of you. His hands tightened on your waist, pulling you against him firmly, as if he was afraid of you slipping away.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue darting out to tease at the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. You opened your mouth, accepting his tongue to touch around. You were secretly very thankful that he didn’t try and jam his tongue so far down your throat that you gagged. His free hand moved up to cup the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair, holding you captive against him.

Finally, you broke the kiss, gasping for air. Your chest heaved with every breath you took, and your cheeks were flushed a brilliant red. You searched Johnny’s eyes for a moment, a small, breathless giggle leaving your lips. Johnny had the same breathlessness you did, his lips quirking up in a half smile.

“Well, if I didn’t know any better, doll, I’d say you’ve been waitin’ for me to do that for a while.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his hand cradling your face. You looked up at him with humor filled eyes, giggling.

“Good thing you know better, hmm?” You asked, giving him a teasing smile. His smile darkened and before you knew it, he had you up in the air, his arms locked around your waist. You squealed and giggled, as Johnny walked over to the small couch that was in your trailer.

He tossed you on the couch, your back pressed dully into the cushions. He crawled in between your legs, his face ghosting over yours. His breath was stolen from his lungs as he looked down at the goddess laid before him, your cheeks flushed the prettiest salmon. You looked up at him, pupils blown wide with lust and want. It intoxicated him in the best way possible, and it made him want more.

More he got, as your hands snaked around his neck and pulled him back down roughly. Your lips reconnected and Johnny grunted against your lips, his hands going to your hips to raise them up against him. In this new angle, you could feel the hard press of the growing bulge in Johnny’s jeans.

He pulled away from the bruising kiss, his breath fanning heavy over your face. A smile tugged at his lips, his head dipping down to your neck. Hot opened mouth kisses were pressed into your skin, the sharp edges of his teeth pressing gently into your neck. You writhed and whimpered under him, his hands tracing your sides with the softest of touches.

“This okay?” He murmured against your skin as his fingers danced at the hem of your bralette, “Wanna make you feel good.”

“Yeah, ‘m good.” You breathed out, helping him take off your bralette. He threw it into a random corner, his hands shaking as they ghosted over your breasts.

His eyes stayed stationary on the black barbells pushed through either of your nipples. Slowly, as if he was hesitant, his hands came to your breasts, kneading them. You let out a shaky breath, your heart hammering in your chest. His nimble fingers danced over the barbells, and you sucked in a breath through your teeth.

“Yeah? Sensitive, ain’tcha?” He breathed out, his eyes flicking back and forth between your face and your breasts, “My pretty girl.” He breathed out, pressing kisses to the tops of your breasts.

His head dipped lower, his lips attaching to one of your nipples. It was like an electric current was sent through your whole body, the warm feeling of his mouth on the cold barbell made you shoot up. Your back arched, as a shaky wail came from your mouth. Johnny pulled back immediately, his face flashing with concern.

“No, no, no!” You babbled, whining deep in your throat, “Pl-Please.” You begged, your breath coming out in pathetic sounding pants.

“Well, I gotta listen when you’re beggin’ so pretty for me.” Johnny chuckled, dipping his head back down. His mouth went back to your nipple, the warm feeling of his tongue swirling around your nipple making you wail again.

His hand dipped to your jeans, fumbling with the button as he tried to undo it with one hand. A huff of breath left his nose and he pulled off of your breast, focusing his attention on your jeans.

“Fuckin’ - goddamnit.” He cursed under his breath, making you giggle. You gently covered his hands with yours, helping him undo the button on your jeans, and you started to push them off of your hips. He caught the hem of your panties in his blunt nails, practically ripping both of them off of your legs. He threw both pieces of clothing to a random corner of your trailer, pushing your legs open. You tried to close your legs, a flare of embarrassment running hot through your veins, but he was much stronger than you were.

He growled, his lips kissing down your stomach, along your hip bone, tasting the cream of your skin mixed with the salt of sweat. He kissed down along your thigh, stopping just before where you needed it the most. You watched as his cheek pressed into your thigh, as he watched how you dripped and keened.

“Look at you, little one,” Johnny purred, causing you to whimper, your fingers tightening in his hair, “You got this wet just from Daddy playin’ with them sexy piercin’s?” The southern twang in his voice drove you crazy, but the fact that he bit into the soft of your thigh caused you to keen again.

“Jesus, don’t fucking tease me.” You whined, your voice coming out breathless and needy. Johnny nipped at the junction where your thigh met your pelvis, and the feeling made you shudder underneath his hands.

“You ain’t got a single idea how bad I’ve wanted you like this.” His breath fanned hot over your clammy skin, his lips kissing lower and lower until he was right above your clit, “Hearin’ you say my name like it’s the only prayer you’ve known.” He groaned, his tongue darting out and kitten licking across your clit.

His lips attached to your pussy, his tongue exploring every single part of you. You whined, throwing your head back against the couch, as his movements were slow, agonizing in the best way possible. He switched between his tongue thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy and sucking on your clit. You let out a strangled moan as he offered a hard suck of your clit.

“Goddamn, babygirl. You taste just like honey.” He grunted against you, pulling back slightly, and wetting his middle and ring finger with his own saliva, “Could spend the rest of my life right here, face pressed into this fuckin’ pussy.” He murmured, lowering his head again. His lips attached to your clit, his middle finger slowly dipping into your pussy.

You came lighting up off of the couch, wailing out his name as he curled his finger, finding the spongy tissue that had you seeing stars. He chuckled against you, the vibration of his laugh making your heart flip in your chest.

His ministrations were eager, and before you knew it, he was adding the second finger into you. He curled his fingers hard, the pleasure thrumming through your veins hitting an all time high. Your hands came to his hair, your hips rolling against his face.

The coil inside your core started to wind tighter and tighter, as you shamelessly grinded against his face, trying to pull yourself closer to an orgasm. He moaned eagerly against you, clearly enjoying the entire situation himself. Tighter and tighter the coil inside you wound, Johnny’s little grunts and moans against you doing nothing to help the situation.

The coil snapped, your orgasm rattling through your bones - your moans breathless and high pitched - as Johnny drank up all of your slick. Your breaths were heavy and ragged, Johnny’s face still firmly planted between your thighs. The feeling started to border on overstimulating, so you tapped his head three times shakily. Johnny finally pulled his head back, his chin and lips wet.

“Fuckin’ hell, you’re gonna kill me, doll.” He grunted against your hipbone, laughing shakily, “Usin’ my face like your own personal throne, I could get used to that.” He looked up at you with humor filled eyes, crawling back up towards your lips.

You kissed him breathlessly, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue. You moaned shamelessly into his mouth, your hands making quick work of ripping his shirt off of him and pushing his jeans down to his knees. He kicked off his shoes, awkwardly shoving his jeans off of his legs, the denim falling unceremoniously to the floor.

You adjusted on the couch, laying flat on your back horizontally, and Johnny slotted himself between your legs, the thick press of his cock against your weeping slit making you mewl. He fumbled around for a moment, trying to find his jeans.

“I’m on the-” You raised your arm, tapping your bicep, “-thing in arm. Good for three years.” You dropped your arm, your hand running down his chest. “You’re good. I’m clean.”

“You sure?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours, “Can’t promise I’m gonna last long feelin’ this pussy raw.” He admitted, laughing awkwardly.

“I’m sure. No babies.” You pulled his face down to yours, kissing him breathlessly, “Pump me full of cum, Daddy.” You purred.

“Jesus Ch-“ He let out a strangled grunt, resting his forehead against yours. His breath fanned hot against your face, his breath shaky, “You tryna give an old man a heart attack?” He asked, his voice shaking. He opened his eyes, silently asking if it was okay again. You nodded, and he slowly started to push into you.

The feeling of his thick cock stretching you out made you wail into his shoulder, your blunt nails digging into his shoulders. Slowly, agonizingly, he pushed in until he bottomed out. His breath was catching in his throat, his arm twitching as he gripped onto the back of the couch for dear life.

“Fuckin’ hell, babygirl.” He grunted out, letting out a trembling exhale of breath, “Pussy’s like a goddamned vice around me.” He spoke through gritted teeth, staying still to let you get used to the feeling of him inside you.

It was a silent couple of seconds before your muscles started to relax and he was able to start thrusting shallowly in and out of you. You whimpered and keened underneath him, and he hadn’t even gotten started yet.

“Harder…” You whispered, your voice begging helplessly, “Daddy, please.”

“Anything my babygirl wants.” Johnny whispered back to you, his hands moving to wrap around your neck, pulling himself impossibly closer to you. His hips slowly sped up, the pace rough but not brutal. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his breath heavy in your ear.

“Shit, Johnny.” You sucked in a breath through your teeth, whimpering in his ear as he set a steady pace. His hipbones smacked against your ass, causing a dull pain that only accentuated the pleasure.

It was a few moments of this steady pace before Johnny suddenly pulled back from where he was buried in your neck. You looked up at him with dazed eyes, confusion etching into your features. He shuddered out a breath as he met your eyes, a shaky smile crossing his face.

His hands shoved your thighs back, pushing your knees almost to your chest. In this angle, you could feel every inch of his cock as he pounded into you. You threw your head back, wailing out a mix of his name and a guttural scream. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you threw your head back against the small couch.

“Yeah, that’s it, my sweet girl.” He grunted through gritted teeth, his breath coming out in bursts, “You take Daddy’s cock so fucking well. This goddamned pussy was made for this cock - Fuck!” He snarled, his hips speeding up. All you could do was hold on for dear life, your mind swimming with nothing but him and how fucking good this felt.

His hands came to your breasts, his fingers tweaking one of the barbells. Between his nimble fingers on your nipples sending waves of heat to your core, and him making a complete mess of your pussy, you felt yourself coming undone at the seams. The familiar coil in your core was winding tighter and tighter by the second, and the tears that pricked at the corners of your eyes fell down your face. The pleasure was starting to border on the perfect blend of amazing and almost cruel. You met his eyes, your vision blurry from the tears, and you could see he had a wolfish grin on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s it. Cry over how fucking good this cock is.” He snarled, dipping his head down to your neck and leaving hot opened mouth kisses against your skin, “Could fucking live in this pussy, babygirl, Jesus Christ-!” His thrusts were getting sloppy, and you wailed out his name again, the coil suddenly snapping in your core. Your eyes rolled back in your head as your body trembled, your pussy fluttering around him. Your body felt taut, as your orgasm rippled through your bones.

“Oh fuck, babygirl-“ He grunted out, his thrusts brutal and rapid, “Just like that… Daddy’s gonna fucking cum all in this pussy.” He growled in your ear, and all you could do was hold on for dear life.

A couple seconds later, he stilled, letting out a moan that would make a pornstar blush. His cock twitched and pulsed inside of you as thick, hot ropes of cum filled you. You writhed, still trying to come down from your high.

It was a silent couple of seconds as the two of you remembered how to breathe, and you were the first to make any form of a sound. You chuckled breathlessly, meeting Johnny’s eyes.

“Well, remind me to accidentally strip in front of you more often.” You panted out, bringing your arms up and pulling Johnny into a kiss. His hands cradled the back of your head, holding your lips to his. He broke the kiss, laughing softly against your lips.

“Ain’t gotta be accidental no more, doll.” He pressed kiss after kiss to your lips, “You got me hooked around your lil’ finger.” He smiled down at you, before the sound of someone banging on the door made you both jump. You swore under your breath, your heart racing.

“Ye-Yeah?” You called, putting a finger to Johnny’s lip to shush him.

“Hey, are you two done fucking already? Your guys’ stunt is about to start.” Ehren’s voice, which had the edge of awkwardness to it, rang out through the door and it took everything in you to not want to melt into the floor from embarrassment.

“Why, you wanna join?” Johnny called and you smacked his arm, his loud cackle of a laugh making you roll your eyes.

“Gross! Fuck no!” Ehren’s voice was high pitched, and you could almost see him cringing, “Fucking hell, Knox. Just get dressed and get your guys’ asses out here. Jeff’s pissed.” Ehren walked away from the door, and you could hear his soft muttering as he walked away. You snorted out a laugh, cringing as Johnny pulled out of you. He grabbed a couple of tissues from a table nearby, getting you as cleaned up as possible.

“Well, I’m gonna have my own cum running down my neck.” He joked, and you groaned.

“Ew! Johnny!” You whined, and he barked out a laugh.

“What? I’m right!” He had a twinkle in his eye, helping you get up from the couch. Your hair was a mess, and your neck was covered with all sorts of love bites, “I ain’t the one who decided you were gonna wear shorts that barely cover your ass while you’re up on my damn shoulders!” He helped you get dressed, putting on his own clothes quickly afterwards.

“So…” You trailed off, letting him run a brush through your hair. You smiled at the odd intimacy of the action, and he hummed, a question of ‘Go on?’, “When’s round two?” You asked, the question hanging thickly in the air.

“Let’s win this stupid chicken fight ‘tween Bam and Ryan, and maybe then we’ll talk.” He chuckled darkly in your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Don’t worry, babygirl. I’ll have you walkin’ funny sooner rather than later.” He growled in your ear, sending a rush through you. He patted your butt, shaking his head, “But come on. Before the Almighty Tremaine slits our damn throats for fuckin’ up his perfect lil’ schedule.”

You exited your trailer, and if it wasn’t for the love bites on your neck and the flush that covered your cheeks, you were sure no one would have pegged you for having just had sex with Johnny. You, of course, would have been wrong.

“How big’s his cock, (Y/N)?” Bam all but screamed at you when you and Johnny made it to the set, and you bristled for a moment, “Come on, everyone heard you screamin’ his name!”

“Jealous, are we?” Johnny asked, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, “Too bad she ain’t gonna ever scream your name, Bambi.”

You chuckled, trying to pull your beanie down to hide your face in embarrassment. But as you looked up at Johnny, who was harassing Bam about being jealous still, that weird love you had for Johnny settled in your stomach again. But those were feelings for another day. You had more pressing matters, namely throwing Bam and Ryan off of a wooden beam so you could get round two.

You had a pretty good feeling you’d be getting what you wanted, regardless of what Johnny had said.

#jackass #johnny knoxville #mtv jackass #pj clapp #lilith’s writing #johnny knoxville smut #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass fics #jackass fic #jackass x reader #pj clapp x reader #jackass headcanons #jackass hcs #jeff tremaine #bam margera #danger ehren #literally so fucking happy I’ve finally gotten a request.#I’m like a kid in a candy store rn #lilith’s requests

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alyssawritcs · 5 months ago

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JUST LUNCH ( a kelvin harrison jr. fanfic ) one - shot .

love interest : kelvin harrison jr. rating : m as shit . ( smut , unprotected sex ( wrap it up ) , plain ol' p in v sex ) wc : 4.3k author's note : i have no idea where this came from y'all, just wanted to show love to my little leo short king 🤷🏽‍♀️

As much as Nevaeh sometimes missed her hometown, the beautiful and incomparable New Orleans, she had long since felt right at home in New York City. The move there had been almost on a whim, a decision made after her LSU graduation once the “far fetched” application she’d sent in to her dream gallery in Brooklyn was returned to her inbox with a link for a Zoom interview. Six weeks later, she was settled into a teeny tiny apartment in Bedstuy and working long hours at the gallery she’d grown to call her second home. However, it was while she was out with her newfound friends that she had spotted a familiar face in the crowd.

Kelvin and her had been good friends in high school, nerdy kids and often the only black ones in the room. They had a love for the arts, though, and often paired off to work on projects. But the shy girl that he’d met in freshman year biology was not the one he’d run into that night at the bar. Now, little Nana had been ... blessed in high school and of course he’d noticed back then, he wasn’t blind but she was always hiding whatever she had going on under uniform, with big ol’ crewnecks or just the polos when the sweltering heat didn’t make sense for the former.

As he’d seen her there that day, head thrown back in laughter, that same pretty smile she’d always had, sitting on that - yeah, he’d have been a fool to not have approached her then and there.

The little reunion had gone better than even he had expected, with the two of them separating from their respective groups to catch up in some corner booth, where they had talked for hours. He told her about the roles he’d gotten and she talked about the exhibits she was helping to curate. Before they had known it, it was closing time and Kelvin, ever the southern gentleman, had offered to walk her home. She had thanked him on her doorstep with a soft kiss to his cheek.

That had been 2017 and they went to date just until January of 2022. In that time, he’d gotten the roles of his lifetime. She’d been promoted to full time co-head curator at the gallery. Their schedules, which used to align perfectly, weren’t even in the same timezone most days. He needed to move to LA for his career’s sake and she surely wasn’t leaving New York because of hers. Though they had started the process of separating at each other’s throats, knowing exactly what buttons to push that only came with being together for half a decade, they’d both seemed to realize that it couldn’t end like that. So he got a little place in Venice Beach, she took over the lease on their shared loft in Brooklyn, and they amicably went their separate ways.

Well, after one more incredible night that plagued Nevaeh’s every thought at that moment while she walked to Bredren, their old favorite Jamaican and soul food fusion spot not that far from the gallery. She tried to focus on the cute memories of them there, having little dates after he picked her up from work and he’d trek from his set in Harlem. That was cute, that was fun, that was appropriate. Thinking of the last time they’d slept together, when he’d made her cum four times in a row and then twice more the next morning before he left ... yeah, that was not very “let’s stay friends” of her, now was it?

Honestly, it had taken her months before she could even look at another picture of Kel, let alone even entertain the thought of being any type of friend to him. But of course, Chevalier had released in 2023 and she figured she needed to face the music, no pun intended. It was when she got through the whole film that she thought, ‘let me text this boy and tell him that shit was phenomenal’.

That had started a chain of sweet, light, and cutesy little exchanges between the both of them through texts and DMs. Swapping funny videos or tweets, him talking to her about filming for Mufasa or Genius, her talking about a new artist she was sourcing from all throughout the country. It felt like they were really friends, for real! That is until, the thirst edits had started popping up on her For You page and she found herself watching a couple of them a few too many times. She never liked or saved any of them, of course, but that didn’t stop her from occasionally typing his name into the little search bar.

Now, as she rounded the corner and saw the back of his head sitting outside of the restaurant, she wanted nothing more than to run up on him and whoop his ass. How dare he bring these feelings back to her?! Matter of fact -

“Ow! What the he - girl, what is wrong with you?” He exclaimed as he turned, drawing the attention of the other patrons, rubbing the back of his head where she’d hit him lightly. God, he was such a drama king. “You ain’t got no couth?”

“Boy, shut up. Spell couth.” Nevaeh dropped her bright pink purse onto the table in front of him and walked over to the entrance, as the outside seating area was blocked off by a little fence.

“C-o-u-t-h, you can’t spell it either.” He rapped once she slid into the seat opposite him, clicking his tongue at her while she rolled her eyes. “Nice purse.”

“Thanks, my annoying ass ex bought it for me.”

His jaw fake-dropped and he placed a hand over his chest. “Annoying ass ex? You sure you didn’t mean handsome, talented, hilariously charming ex?”

“What I say?” She quirked an eyebrow at him and it was now his turn to roll his eyes, her favorite response sounding nice and familiar in his ears. She used to say that shit to him all the time, especially when he wanted to do something he found fun and that she kept saying no to. At the time, it’d been irksome but now, it felt like home. God, he was so fuckin’ corny.

She looked around on the table in front of them and then for the waiter. “Where are the menus?”

“Oh, I ordered already.”

“Little presumptuous, no?”

“No. I know what you’re gonna get.” Kelvin watched as she tilted her head and stuck her tongue to the roof of her mouth, a sign that she was trying to not cuss him out. He hid his smirk behind his glass of water as he took a sip from it.

“What if I changed my order?” She crossed her arms under chest. It was at this moment that he took in her outfit, a black summer dress that came down to her calves and pushed her boobs all the way up. Her wrists held her usual assortment of bracelets, clinking together as she moved. And she’d been wearing heels to match the purse, the pink sandals she knew he loved. Had she gotten dressed for him?

“You didn’t. Jerk chicken and waffles, pepper shrimp & grits on the side, a little plate of mac & cheese, and two beef patties to take home.” He sat back and crossed his arms to match her, even tilting his head too. Ooh, he pissed her off and even more now that he was right. “Plus a ginger beer and some sorrel, also for home. You look nice by the way.”

She didn’t respond at first, still eyeing him up and down. She never remembered to order the sorrel to take home, so he used to do it for her. In the two years since their breakup, every time she ordered from the restaurant, she still forgot. Fuck this nigga.

“Thanks, I was giving a tour to an investor.”

“Investor to help purchase the spot next door?”

“Fingers crossed.” To his credit, Kelvin had always been interested in her work. It was a museum that specifically highlighted pieces by all members of the African diaspora and every year, a new region became the focus. This year was Central African focused, with artists featured from Angola, Congo, Chad and many others. It was only halfway through the year at this point but they were already prepping for next year, when the focus would be on black artists from the Southern United States, of which she was extremely excited to 100% biasedly center folks from NOLA.

“I gotta pop in, see what y’all working with.” He was saying, just as the waiter arrived with their drinks as well as their plates, filled to the brim. He was the brother of the owner and they’d known him for years at that point so it should’ve come as no surprise when, after the plates were set before them, he wiggled his wrinkled finger at them.

“I like to see you two back together. Better this way.” He offered them no chance to respond, walking away briskly as they stared dumbly after him. Once their eyes met again, they both let out a little laugh and shook their heads, digging into the food.

It was quiet for a minute, and then, “You too.” She mumbled, around bites.

“Me too, what?” Kelvin asked, cutting into his oxtail and cornbread.

“You look good too.” Nevaeh smiled, because she knew his face was getting a bit hot even if she couldn’t see the blush. For a Leo, he was always quite shy when it came to her giving him compliments. She liked it though. She liked having that effect on him because he more than had it on her. “How long you in the city for?”

“Couple of weeks. I got a little place in Soho that I’m leasing for a month, just to do some auditions and shit.” He shrugged like it was nothing but to her, it felt like everything. He was going to be that close for a whole month? In the past, when he came to New York, they’d meet up almost by accident but not really. They would attend events knowing (hoping?) that the other would too, never ask, and then act surprised to run into each other at the bar or something. They’d spend damn near the whole night catching each other’s eye from across the room, maybe even attend the after party together, and then have a lot of lingering stares while she waited for her Uber. Because he always waited for her Uber with her. He’d stand damn near in the middle of the street watching it drive away. She never had to look back to know that he was doing it either.

This lunch, as it carried on and they chatted away, was the longest conversation they’d had in nearly two years. She had gotten a cat in his absence, a little black one that she had named Salem and he laughed because he knew she grew up obsessed with Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He talked about meeting Beyoncé, teasing her a little because he knew she was jealous as hell (hello, she’d been in Club Renaissance at MSG!), and showed her pictures he’d semi-creepily taken on his phone, which made her laugh. Which made him laugh. Then they were talking about their parents, their friends, the great movies he still wanted to do, the artists she still wanted to have a piece in the gallery.

It was reaching nearly six pm when they finally looked at the clock on their phones. Three hours they had sat there, like nothing had changed. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and she stared off into the distance, watching a couple walk down the street in each other’s arms and blinking back tears of the memories of them doing the same thing, on the same sidewalk, seemingly forever ago.

“Thanks for paying.” She smirked up at him once he returned. His eyes widened.

“How -”

“That’s what you always used to do, go to the bathroom and pay on your way back to the table, so I wouldn’t even offer.” He looked down at her for a beat and then smiled.

“Of course, both our mommas would beat my ass if I didn’t pay.” Kelvin put his phone into his pocket, grabbed the to-go back with her items in it, and had to shove his other hand into his other pocket to keep from offering it to her. “C’mon, I’ll walk you back.”

She got up from the table and his hand hovered over the small of her back as he led her through the dinner crowd and to the sidewalk. They walked close, feeling the heat from each other’s bodies, her gifted purse held in both hands in front of her to keep from reaching for his too. Their laughter followed them down the streets.

“I got a new painting for above the couch. It looks gorgeous when the sun hits it as it’s setting.” She didn’t have to explicitly invite him up as they approached the door to the familiar building. He just followed her in, entering the elevator and pressing the button, like second nature.

The apartment had not changed much since he had moved out. He’d been so in love with the loft when they’d moved in together, the floor to ceiling windows, the little spare bedroom that had worked as an office for them both, especially during COVID. They would get their work done, cook dinner together and often, sit on the balcony and talk for hours, just as they had done today. Eventually, after they finished eating, Nevaeh would round the table and sit on his lap, so they could watch the sunset together.

Now, he stood in the living room, admiring the gorgeous painting. It was a group black men and women, seemingly in heaven with halos on their heads, walking on the clouds. She’d been right, the sun hit the piece in a way that made the halos shine almost. It damn near brought a tear to his eye. She was standing to his right and that same setting sun gave her her own halo effect. He was suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

She could feel his eyes on her but she was hesitant to turn and look back at him. He was too good at that, looking deep into her eyes and making her weak in the knees. But she almost couldn’t help it, twisting her next so their eyes met. Then he leaned in, his hand coming up to her chin, and their lips connected.

Nevaeh let out a small whimper as the kiss grew. His hands moved to cover the sides of her face and her own landed on his back, her nails lightly digging into his shirt. There was such a sense of familiarity, of knowing how to move their heads and hands and lips. One of his hands slipped down her face and down the front of her throat, fingers ghosting over her cleavage and coming to wrap around her waist. Kelvin felt her shiver at his touch and smiled into the kiss, pulling away for a minute.

“Did you bring me up here to seduce me? Hmm?” He bent at the knees a bit to trail kisses along her jaw and down her neck, taking his time to suck at the skin along the side. She rolled her eyes, at first at his question and then in pleasure. She worked to speak without moaning.

“I barely had to even say or do anything to get you up here, sweetheart. It seems like you wanted to be seduced.” She brought her arms up to wrap them around his neck and sighed contentedly at the work he was doing on her neck.

He chuckled before running both of his hands down to her ass, massaging it for a couple of seconds. Oh, he missed this shit bad. “You are absolutely correct, babe, as per usual. I needed this shit.” Kelvin slipped his hands underneath both cheeks, onto her thighs, and lifted Nevaeh up which elicited a squeal from her. He walked them over to the couch, sitting himself down so she was sitting on his lap and could feel the bulge in his pants. He kept one hand on her ass as he slid the other up her dress, feeling the smooth skin of her thigh and tracing the line of the thong sitting on her hips.

When he brought his hand over to her pelvis, he kept his eyes on her face as he gently felt the wet fabric. Nevaeh’s eyes glazed over and she closed them, moaning while biting her lip. He kept two of his fingers over her covered clit and let her rock her hips against them, the friction sending shockwaves of pleasure up her spine.

“That feel good, baby?” Kelvin asked. She nodded and made a breathy ‘mhm’ sound, beginning to breathe heavily. He did too, matching her and letting his mouth fall open, taking in every minute way her face changed. After another minute, he pushed the fabric to the side and used his thumb rub over her clit while his thick digits slid down her soaked slit to its entrance. There, he slipped them in and her moan this time was music to his ears. She let her head fall back, a hand gripping his shoulder tightly as she grinded down more on his hand, her chest heaving. Kelvin took his eyes off her face to watch her breasts straining against the cups of her dress. His other hand was on her hip now, helping her to rock down on his fingers so he had to make do.

His teeth pulled on one cup and then the other, watching her spill out of the dress and he pulled one of her nipples in his mouth. Sucking, nibbling, on the peak while still using his hands to guide her toward her climax, which he could feel was around the corner at this point. He knew her, knew that her thighs trying to close up on him, her fingers digging into his shoulder, her head tilting slightly to the right - she was minutes, if not seconds, away from cumming on his fingers. He picked up the pace.

“Kelvin, Kel - oh my God, Kel, please!” Nevaeh rolled her hips down, feeling the oh so familiar tightening in her stomach. She hadn’t cum like this in a long time, not without the help of a little toy in her bedside table. She began chanting, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Don’t stop, please don’t stop, Kelvin!”

“I ain’t stoppin’, don’t worry baby.” He moved his mouth over to her other nipple, using his thumb to alternate between rubbing her clit and pressing down on it. Then, he inserted a third finger into her and he knew he’d done it. She stopped bouncing and dug her nails in so hard he just knew he was gonna have marks in his skin. Her mouth dropped open as she rode out her orgasm, looking him in the eye as he continued to move his hand inside of her.

After she had finished twitching on top of him, he removed his hand from beneath her dress, the loss of contact making her whimper. He sucked his fingers into his mouth and she felt her clit jump. Kelvin carefully pulled her off of him and then stood up, pulling his shirt off while she unzipped her dress and threw on to the other side of the couch, along with her soaked panties.

“Unbuckle my pants, baby.” He commanded and Nevaeh immediately reached up to do as she was told. Once the belt was undone, she popped open the button and unzipped him, his hard member stretching at the fabric of his briefs underneath. “Pull them down, both of ‘em.” And she did, letting his dick jump out of his underwear and hang heavy in front of her face. She could literally feel her mouth watering, for the love of all that is good in this world, this shit was ridiculous.

Taking back a bit of control, she gazed up at him, making direct eye contact as she wrapped her fingers around his thick base and guided him into her mouth. His mouth dropped open again, in pleasure, watching her take him all the way to the back of her throat and then back out again. She repeated this one, two, three times before she began to move faster on him, sucking him loudly like she knew he liked it. He was genuinely surprised his knees hadn’t buckled underneath him, her eyes still on his face as he moaned and groaned, watching his dick become covered in her spit. His hand had come to rest on her head and, eventually, when he felt his balls begin to tighten, he pulled on her ponytail to get her off of him.

“How do you want me, baby?” She asked, breathing heavy as her hand slipped up and down his length. He bit down on his lip before gently pushing her back on the couch, which was low enough to the ground that he could get on one knee and be able to line himself up with her sopping center.

Kelvin held his dick at the base, as she had done, and tapped it against her clit a couple times, listening as she moaned quietly. “You need me baby?” He looked back up at her, watching her bite her lip, nod, and ‘mhm’ again. He shook his head. “Ask me nice.”

“Please, Kel, please fuck me.” She whimpered with no hesitation, bringing her hand to rest on his stomach, tracing the abs there. “Fuck me, baby, you the only one that can make me cum right?”

“Yeah?” His voice was low and gravely as he slid into her, both of them moaning immediately. She had forgotten how much he could fill her up, especially now as he slid in all the way so her clit was touching his pelvis. Her eyes rolled back at the sensation. “None of them other niggas filling you up like this, baby?” Hmm?”

She would’ve answered but he began to rock in and out of her, his hips taking on a rhythm that had her eyes squeezing shut in pleasure. His arm stretched out above her head to get a grip on the back of the couch and Nevaeh wrapped her legs around his hips. Her hands settled on his hips, feeling him push into her over and over again.

His name fell from her lips over and over and over again. He was groaning quietly, muttering about how tight she was, how wet she was, “fuck I missed this shit” and “I still fuckin’ love you baby”.

“I love you too, yes, please, faster.” She answered back and he picked up his pace, letting his arm fall as he pressed his forehead against hers.

“You still love me, baby? Huh?” He pressed a long kiss to her lips, their tongues dancing for a moment before she let out another moan when his fingers reached down to rub her clit once more. “Say it again.”

“Yesss, I love you baby. I love you Kelvin, I love you so much.” There were tears in her eyes, both from pleasure and from whatever emotion he was drawing out of her with his words. This was not how she thought lunch was going to go today.

“I love you too.” He groaned out, kissing his way back down her neck as he began to rub her faster, piston his hips into her with more roughness. “Cum for me, baby, come on.”

She didn’t need much more encouragement, tightening her legs around him as she wailed out during her orgasm. She stars behind her closed eyes, pressing her hands tightly against his back. Kelvin followed soon after, his hips stuttering as he came in her, her name whispered from his lips into her neck.

He still moved inside of her, slowly, until he finally pulled out of her. They both moaned together again and Kelvin rolled over to lay half on the couch as she did, both of their chests heaving as they tried to catch their breaths. He eventually lifted himself up, picking up her still trembling legs and putting them on the couch as he walked over to the bathroom. Nevaeh listened as the water ran and then he walked over with a warm rag, wiping her down gently, something he had done hundreds of times before, just not in a very long time. She got up after he sat down and rushed to the bathroom while he waited for her, smirking at the wet spot on the cushion where they’d both been minutes ago.

“I just got this shit too.” He looked up at her as she sauntered over to him, bending over to pick up his discard shirt and slip it over her head.

“My bad. I’ll get you a new one.” His hand settled on her thigh as she stood between his bare legs, looking down at him with a small smile.

“We should talk about this.” She muttered. Kelvin nodded, standing up as he did so, before picking her up bridal style.

“Oh definitely. We can do exactly that ... over breakfast. Tomorrow.” He carried them toward the stairs leading to the bedroom upstairs. “For now? I got some shit I gotta take care of. Make up for time lost. I’m thinking I gotta make you cum for every month we spent apart?”

Nevaeh’s jaw dropped. “Thirty orgasms, oh my God, are you trying to kill me?”

“Well twenty-eight now.” He laughed and through her shock, she couldn’t help but to laugh too. “What can I say, I missed you baby. I missed you bad.”

#kelvin harrison jr smut #kelvin harrison jr fanfic #kelvin harrison jr.#kelvin harrison jr x reader #kelvin harrison jr x oc #kelvin harrison jr x black oc #black reader #black!oc #black!reader #black!writer #❥ 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 、one shots .

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writingwisterias · 6 months ago

Note

hiii, I saw that your requests are open and do you think you could write about how Leon Eras would act with a S/O who is going through a kind of difficult phase..? like depressive days and even anxiety attacks. it's just that (all) Leon is my comfort character so he always helps me get through hard days😭 lol. I'm sorry if this is a sensitive topic for you, hun, you can just ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable :] 💗

your writing is so sweet and makes me like DAYDREAM EVEN MORE ABOUT LEON sldjmdaljsl

Hello!

Ah your so sweet I'm so glad you like my writing 🥹I would love to do this for you! I have had a hard week so I've been thinking about this a lot as well! My Dms/Inbox are always open if anyone needs someone to talk to even if it's just about Leon don't hesitate! I have a lot to say 👀❤️❤️

Warnings: Fluff, Depression, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Comfort,

(there is a harder hitting subject area please read with caution! It is highlighted in red and plenty of warning before scrolling!)

RE2:

Okay so this Leon is more than likely to drop literally everything they are doing to come and help you.

Like nothing is too big of an ask for him, he will drive to wherever you are

If it's an issue with your home life he'll put more gas in his car and take you on a long drive

Won't press you to talk about anything that's bothering you, is more than happy to just be there for you. Even if the silence kills him.

Best hugs.

Like I'm talking crushing bear hugs if you need them.

Forehead kisses as well, he's prone to them.

He's so smitten with you that people often tease him about it. He will take any of the teasing as long as you are happy with him and he's doing his absolute best to care

Writes messages on the mirror in the bathroom if he showers before you 'you got this, I love you'

RE4R:

In one of my other Eras I mentioned that Leon's love language is acts of service and I think it would apply here as well.

Would drop whatever he's doing (if he's nearby) to ensure that you are okay.

Massive cuddler, will get dead arms if it means you stay asleep again his biceps

In terms of Acts of Service I'm thinking like he will take the stress of things for you as you deal with it.

Like don't worry about doing the laundry or cleaning he'll have that covered.

If you as struggling to get up and out of bed he'll make sure you have something fun to do as a reward.

If you don't want to leave the house don't worry he understand, breakfast in bed it is.

Will bed rot with you if you need...he probably needs it as well.

He would help you brush your hair and teeth if needed.

Will not let you say a peep about it, like this is how he shows love. No ask is too big for him. He would rather you be here and okay than have to fold laundry for you.

Infinite Darkness:

So he's away a lot more, they send him literally everywhere in this time of his life but that doesn't mean he won't work damn hard to make sure he's still there.

He would appreciate it if you texted him throughout the day even if you are sad. Like just a small text

'not feeling great today'

When he has the time he would call you and listen for hours to you, or even talk about everything that happened in his day if you need it

If he is home, he's either rotting in bed with you or treating you

He'll carry all your shopping bags for you don't worry!

Always makes sure he smells nice for you, something that makes you chuckle when you hug if you aren't feeling great and his aftershave over powers you

The idea of him quickly spraying himself is too funny to me.

Forehead kisses! Top of the head kisses! All the damn kisses. He'll make sure you feel loved

Has a note in his notes app of all your favorite foods and drinks and will pick them up when he comes to see you to make sure you are okay

Damnation:

As long as you have breakfast for him he's there jk!

Literally drops everything, he doesn't give a shit about the government anymore so you are his first priority

If anyone tries to stop him it's a death glare or punch in the face.

I reckon he uses a baby voice sometimes but instantly cringes and apologizes when it slips out.

Is more than happy to drink with you if that's how you want to deal with things

Will prefer if you don't go any path like that but also knows he's not one to talk so he will support you just begrudgingly

Prefers to have you on his lap when you cuddle, buries his head in your neck as well just taking in you.

Wouldn't really talk unless that's what you wanted, is more of just a calming presence and is very happy to be there for you like that.

RE6:

Will focus on you more than himself.

I'm talking like makes sure you get sleep by staying up and watching you.

Big foodie so will literally eat whatever you want as long as you are eating.

Won't force you to do anything if you don't want to either, he's had that his whole life and knows how it feels.

Big on talking about the future helping you create a plan that can range to activities for the next week or even the end goal of your life.

I think he starts to struggle with a path a head and the ideals of where he actually wants to end up so having someone to plan with wouldn't just make you feel better but himself.

Vendetta:

Even though he is literally a mess himself I think he would make it his first priority to help you.

If he found out.

Don't hide it from him it would make him feel bad that you felt like you had to in order to help him (even though he's literally going to do the same)

I think Leon really needed something else to focus on in this time something to help him get pushed back on track so hearing you are suffering is like a switch flicked.

That being said it doesn't mean he's instantly ready to help you but would be paying closer attention and making changes on himself to help you. Just slowly.

Because it's a slow progress for the both of you I think it would be mainly cuddling and staying inside to help you out. Lots of physical affection as words are hard for the both of you.

I can imagine like movie nights in bed or on the couch.

I think it's more of a we are both suffering so let's suffer together type of thing.

Death Island:

Idealy the most stable out of all of them to handle something along the lines of this.

He would be the biggest brick wall for you to lean on.

Doesn't leave you alone unless he actually has to. Has even refused to work in refusal to stray away from you just in case.

He would be the type of person to be like 'lets go for a walk and get fresh air with the endorphins'

He means it in a good way though. But wouldn't drag you to do anything.

Wouldn't let you rot in bed at least making you sit in the living room or something just won't let you stay in bed.

Will cuddle you until you tell him to move.

Probably would buy you a dog or another animal to focus on something else.

Will learn any of your hobbies to do it with you.

He's the type of person to just try and keep the spark going and encourage you to still go even if you really don't want to.

Will sit in silence if that's what you need, however would end up falling asleep and ruining it by snoring.

Harder hitting topics underneath!!

Please read with caution and my Dms are open if you need someone to talk to!

Tw: Sh, Suicidal thoughts

----------------------------------------------------------

This section applies to all Leon's:

If you told it has gotten this bad his initial reaction would be shock and maybe anger. But not at you.

His brain would immediately switch and go towards helping you in any way he can.

He's got minimal first aid training nothing fancy but enough to ensure that you are clean and nothing is infected.

Would listen to every single word you have to say about your situation.

The type of person to ask if you would rather rant or want actual advice.

He would actively ask you quit with the harm and take away any means for you to do it until he can trust you again.

This also includes not taking weapons into his house. He's got a mean kick if there's danger he'll swat them away.

That being said if you did somehow relapse he would not be mad in the slightest and instead care for you and help you out.

Would be heartbroken if you told about how you truly felt about the world and be there every single night.

He is not missing a single second with you

Would constantly check up on you but if you said it's too overbearing he'll apologize and step back even if he really needs to know that you are okay.

Doesn't care about scars, nightmares, trauma, substance abuse...he does it too and would actually use the opportunity to help you and help himself

Would go to therapy with you if that's what you needed or at least be around if you wanted to go on your own

Will make sure you are taking all of your meds and are eating properly.

If you need him he will be there no questions asked.

He doesn't care if it's unprofessional for Hunnigan to put you through to him during a mission he'll just treat the woman to coffee keeping it under the table

If you need him he will come

He'd rather have you than not..

Nothing is too big of a problem for him.

#~mads rambles #~mads~mail💌#resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy imagine

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seospicybin · 1 year ago

Text

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Hyunjin x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle Masterlist

Synopsis: You and Hyunjin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14k words)

Author's note: Feel free to vent in my inbox once you finished reading it :)

LANA: In order to test how committed my guests are to the process, I call for help from my former retreat guests: Felix, Chris, and Avery. Their mission is to entice them to find out if they're capable of following the rules outside the retreat.

Everyone is going around exchanging hugs and cheek kisses while telling each other's names.

You only remember it now, the name of the girl, it's Avery and she looks like a Malibu Barbie with an Australian accent.

When it's your turn to hug Chris, you have to actively tell your brain to stay calm and not think about how you have a secret crush on him.

"Chris," he introduces himself, opening his arm for a friendly hug.

It's a good thing that he's not shirtless or else, you'd be drooling by now but those big biceps are quite distracting.

"Hi, Chris," you manage to sound coy saying it.

You catch a whiff of his perfume as you exchange a hug and Gosh, he smells amazing. You're staggering as you walk backward to be with everyone else.

"The three of you are Australians," Edie innocently says.

"We' are Australia's sexiest export since... ever," Felix jokingly says then breaks into laughter.

Even his laugh is so attractive, It's sonorous and infectious, inviting you to laugh along with him.

"We came back because we learned so much on the previous seasons that we came to pass the lesson on to you," Avery says, then she glances at the guys standing on each side of her, "Right, guys?"

Felix puts his hand against his waist and puts all of his weight to one side like he's striking a pose in a photo shoot.

"Well, yeah," he says with his nose scrunched, "but also we came here to show you guys how to have fun!"

Chris pops open the bottle of champagne on cue, sending the content spurting out of it and he hurriedly takes a chug to stop it from spilling.

It's unfair how Chris can easily make you feel the slightest bit hot and bothered, just standing there with that wine dripping down his chin. You lick your lips while imagining licking the wine on his veiny neck.

Realizing that you're in the presence of other people, you hurriedly snap yourself out of it.

"Wait, wait, it's not fair that there's three of us and five of them," Avery says while adorably crossing her arms in front of her.

Felix puts his arm around her and brightly smiles, "Don't worry, we'll make it even," he says.

Your head starts looking around the boat, anticipating something and perhaps, anyone's arrival based on what Felix said.

"Give a warm welcome to the two new arrivals!" Avery cheerily announces.

With Lana, it can't be just a boat party, you can tell that she threw this party for certain purposes other than to introduce the new arrivals.

It's wise that you keep cautious with whatever you're doing at this party. You don't want to mess with either Lana or the money, and you surely don't want to mess it up with Hyunjin.

The new arrivals are looking hot and heavy, ready to fuck everybody. The girl is a gorgeous blonde with big, blue eyes named Emile and the guy is a Brazilian man with a chest tattoo, Gustav.

With Chris tirelessly filling the glass and Felix distributing it to everyone, they make sure everyone holds a drink in their hands and is ready for a toast.

"Cheers!" Everyone says in unison, raising their champagne flutes in the air before taking a sip of it.

Things get crazy whenever alcohol is involved so to be safe, you moderately drink your wine and sip as little as possible.

"Okay now we each choose someone to do a body shot with," Felix suggests an icebreaker to fully kickstart the party.

Avery is the one who enthusiastically welcomed that idea and she starts looking for someone to do it with. The boys must be buzzing and whoever gets chosen, he's lucky as hell.

"You," Avery says, pointing in your direction.

You look to the side at Edouard and elbow his side to make him aware of this one-of-a-kind offer.

"No. You," Avery says, talking to you.

Aghast, you unconsciously point at yourself and ask her back to confirm, "Me?"

Avery laughs at the way you reacted, "Come here, my darling," she puts away her drink, then holds her hand out at you.

Half disoriented, you reach for her hand and she makes you sit on the wooden floor with colorful cushions strewn around for people to lay about.

"Now, lay down," she instructs you.

Somehow, you find yourself obeying her words and putting yourself in a compromising position. You rest your head on your pillow and try to stay calm even though everyone is looking at you.

Avery grabs a glass of shot in her hand and she puts all of her hair away on one shoulder, she smiles as she lifts the shot before dripping it onto your chest.

"Oh, my gosh!" You shakily gasp the second the liquid makes contact with your skin, making you shiver from the cold.

But that's the least of the things you should be surprised by. Avery then leans down while keeping her hair down on her shoulder and drinks the puddle of alcohol gathered on the valley of your breasts.

Avery lands a long lick down your front, her tongue feels slick and hot on your skin, making you grip the cushion and try so hard not to squeal.

She seems to enjoy doing it and everyone else can only watch it with envy in their eyes. The laugh she lets out as she lifts her head confirms it.

"Now that's how you start a party!" Edouard says.

Without having to look, you know you're flustered and your hands fly to cover your face, embarrassed. Also, you must admit it gets you a little aroused as well and the party has only started.

YOU: In the middle of the sea, on a boat with these sexy, horny people and plenty of booze... [exhales] That's the recipe for chaos.

Hyunjin's head is all over the place. He can't stay still and when he finally does, all sorts of thoughts go through his head and they're all not helping him relax.

And he can't help but wonder is this how you felt when he was going on that date with Saskia?

He'll take it as his karma then but he's not the only one feeling restless, the others who are in couples are going through the same things but have different ways of handling it.

Andy, however, is not taking it well. He's going through five stages of grief around the villa.

"When I went on that date with Edie she made it clear that she only wanted to be friends and that she wanted to connect with someone else," Andy croons while tugging his blond hair.

Hyunjin nods to let him know that he's listening to his rant but has nothing to respond to that.

"I think it'll be good for her to connect with someone else," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

That would be nice of him to think so because Hyunjin could never think that way, he wants you to be happy but God, he'd hate to lose you to someone else.

Andy plops onto the lounger next to him and roughly runs his hands through his hair.

"I've already detached myself from her and I feel bad for still wanting to be with her," he grumbles.

"We've all been there," Hyunjin says, trying to sympathize with him.

Hyunjin almost forgot about that part where Andy broke up with Edie. Even though they're no longer a couple now, you can just detach yourself from people but the feelings, they're pretty much still intact.

It's even harder in the villa because the person is there and you have to deal with it face to face.

God, Hyunjin hopes he doesn't need to go through that much pain.

HYUNJIN: [Breathing deeply]

The boat party is in full swing.

Felix is making sure everyone's glass is filled, Avery is floating around with her wide, bright smile and Chris is playing some party music on his small DJ set-up.

So far so good, no one has broken the rules yet but 'yet' is the keyword here, you get the feeling that it's only about time until someone caves in, and when that happens, it will trigger a chain reaction.

You decide to sit this one out and watch the party from the side, avoiding any potential risk that would lead you to break the rules.

You're quietly sipping your wine while sitting against the big cushion and enjoying the nice, warm sea breeze when the temptation comes over to you carrying a bottle of champagne.

It's hard not to smile whenever he's around and he's smiling at you.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Chris asks.

"Not at all," you reply, scooting a little to the side to make space for him.

"Let me refill it for you," he says, offering to fill your glass with more wine.

In return, you take the bottle from him and fill his glass for him, having a toast to finally have a sip together. He's sitting so close to you, that you can feel your arms brushing together from the slightest of movement.

He looks out at the view of the sun that is slowly sinking into the horizon and delightfully sighs. Then he turns his head at you and asks you something that you're not ready to answer.

"Would you kiss anyone here?"

Well, there is someone you would like to kiss but he's off-limits.

"Oh, I would love to but uh..." you break into a laugh as your eyes meet his.

Chris licks his lips after sipping his wine, "Are you worried about the rules?"

Not the main reason why but yeah, that's one of the reasons. You chuckle and answer, "I've spent a lot of money already."

He cracks a laugh and his dimples appear on his cheeks, "Been there, done that."

As someone who went through this before, you're sure he knows how it felt because there's no other reason why he laughed.

"So, tell me about this guy you've spent a lot of money with," he asks.

You contemplate for a moment how much can you tell but since he's someone from outside of this retreat and went through the same thing, maybe he can give you some insights.

"Well, he kind of messed up a while ago actually," you share with him.

"Ouch!" He exclaims.

"But I found myself still liking him despite all of that," you continue, sipping your wine in between sentences, "It's actually scared me because I think I've lost my head a little."

It's been gnawing inside you, how you doubt Hyunjin will be the right one for you as you get haunted by this fear that he'll make the same mistake again.

Chris holds his drink in the other hand and slightly turns his body to face you, "Maybe losing your head means you're maybe in your heart," he warmly tells you.

You smile hearing his words and you really wish they're true, you're having this doubt because you want this to be something genuine.

"That's what I hope," he adds with a smile.

"Thank you, Chris," you sincerely tell him, clinking your glass with him for another toast.

When you said it's only about time, well, the time is here. As you look around for another bottle of wine, you see Edie and the new guy going at each other's faces like animals in heat.

But that's the least of your worries. When you turn your head the other way, you see Edouard doing body shots on Saskia.

It's not only about the money now, but also loyalty and friendships. You drain your wine glass empty and gasp, "We're fucked!"

YOU: They forgot everything! They forgot about the purpose, forgot about Lana, forgot about everyone.

Hyunjin can hardly think of anything when you haven't returned on dinnertime. He barely eats his food, he tries shoving a few spoonfuls but has a hard time swallowing them down.

"I'm not hungry," he says, pushing the plate away from him.

"Your plate is still full," Frida says, her voice tinted with concern.

He reclines in his seat and sighs, "I'm too tense."

"I know how you feel," Vic says as she's also waiting for Edouard to return.

Andy pats his shoulder and with a mouth full of food says, "At least you're not worrying someone who doesn't want to be with you."

Well, that's a way to look at the brighter side of things.

The longer you're away from him, the more he worries and his worries affect other people in the vicinity as well. However, there's one person in particular who is having fun in this situation.

"If Edouard kissed someone, would you be pissed?" Diego asks Vic who's sitting cross-legged on the single sofa on the terrace.

"Depends on who he did it with," she answers while picking at her nails.

"If he kissed Saskia, would you be pissed?"

"Very," she answers without a beat.

That gets Hyunjin more alerted, because what if you kissed someone? You know, like out of curiosity? Speaking of experience, he almost did it once with Saskia.

"Do you think they might do something?" Hyunjin nervously asks.

"What do you think?" Diego tosses the question at Vic.

"If I know him like I think I do, I think he won't kiss anyone," she diplomatically answers.

Hyunjin doesn't know how she's doing it but he must admire Vic's patience and calmness in handling this.

"They won't do anything," Andy says, perhaps still stuck in the denial phase.

"If I were with someone here and I went there, and people started kissing each other, I'd probably do it," Diego is here to fuel more gas into the fire.

Frida grabs him by the knee and makes him listen to her, "It is something that I won't do to you because not only it would affect us, but also my friendship with her."

That seems to work on putting some sense into Diego and makes him stop talking altogether.

Hyunjin always thinks highly of you, he knows you wouldn't throw away what the two of you have built together, and that gets him a little hopeful.

"I bet my ass they're doing stuff," Vic remarks out of the blue.

Hyunjin doesn't expect this change of mood, she seems to have reached her limit and can't keep her composure anymore.

Andy sighs and leans back on the sofa, playing with the cushion on his lap, twirling it in the air a couple of times.

"There's a lot at stake today. Relationships, friendships, the house, the money..." he pauses to turn his head to the side to look at Vic, "...Vic's ass."

Everyone laughs at that and it helps to lighten up the mood, the only one who doesn't take it well is Vic.

"Fuck you!" She curses while laughing, hurling a cushion at Andy.

HYUNJIN: I hope for the best. But I also expect for the worst [blows air]

"Okay, honestly, but there is one person I'd like to kiss here," you suddenly share.

That gets Chris' eyebrow raised in curiosity, "Yeah. Who is it?"

You look him right in the eyes and answer, "I'm looking right at him."

He closes his eyes and grins, from the way his ear reddening you can tell he gets shy from what you said which is why you said that in the first place. That, and because of alcohol.

"But I know you're engaged and all," you quickly add.

He grins wider, and he looks so cute and shy like that, if he weren't off-limits, your head would definitely take a hard turn.

"I may be bad but I'm not that bad," you further explain, giggling along with him.

"So, not because of the guy you broke rules with?"

That catches you off guard and you laugh in embarrassment, "Well, yeah, that too."

"In that order?" He asks again, bumping his shoulder against you.

"Exactly in that order. You then him," you jokingly say.

This time, his cheeks get all red and his dimples sunken deeper into his cheeks as he keeps grinning.

"Guys, let's swim!" Felix shouts at both of you.

To be honest, you feel comfortable sharing the space with Chris and want to stay in it a bit longer. You shake your head and kindly refuse his offer.

"No, I'm good," you tell him.

The screams and squeals of the girls jumping into the water startle you, more so, because they ditch their bikinis.

"Oh, come on!" Felix grumbles, coming over to you and taking you by the hand.

"You're coming too," he shouts at Chris.

He's forcing you to get up and join him, taking you by the end of the edge of the deck. Since everyone is going in anyway, you have no option but to follow suit but decide to keep your bikini on.

"Wait, wait, I have to take this..." you tell him, untying the outerwear you're wearing.

"I'll help you," Chris says, helping you to take it off of you.

You're shivering as his hands brush the skin on your back but it's nothing compared to when he's taking his top off. You don't think this moment will come but here you are, looking at his body in its glory with the golden rays of the sun hitting him just right.

Impatient, Felix gets ahead and jumps into the sea while shouting some gibberish words out loud.

"Do it together, yeah?" He offers.

"Yeah, okay," you nervous answers.

He holds his hand out at you and you take it without hesitating, he counts from three, and on one, you both jump into the water together.

Everyone is having fun, you see Pablo is going at it with the new girl and Edie is simply having the time of her life. She squeal when she finally acknowledges your presence, waddling her way to you and clinging to you.

"Did you see me kissing him?" she whines,

"You mean sucking his soul out?" You joke.

"I didn't know how many times I kissed him," she whines again, putting her hands around you.

"Don't worry. Lana will know," you tell her.

For this once, you don't want to think of the money. You let yourself enjoy it, this moment and the company you're with, and also the beautiful view of the sunset.

YOU: I must admit, I had a lot of fun. I really needed that party.

Everyone is already waiting in the cabana for your return from the boat party.

You don't know why you're nervous, maybe it's coming from knowing everything that happened at the boat party and you came back with your hair and bikini damp from swimming.

Since there's no space left, you take the remaining spot that is on the far end of the sofa, sitting far away from Hyunjin.

Lana chimes in not long after everyone has settled down.

"Welcome back," She greets everyone who just came back from the boat party, "And welcome to the two new arrivals."

No one seems to realize the new additions to the retreat until Lana mentions them.

"Thank you, Lana," Emilie says with a smile.

"To test your growth, I prepared a party on a boat with the illustrious presence of some of my former retreat guests: Felix, Avery, and Chris," Lana informs.

Frida reacts with a loud gasp, "Really?"

"Yeah. It was so nice to meet them," Edie answers.

"You had no idea. It was awesome," Saskia adds, making her more envious.

"Damn!" Andy quietly curses next to Hyunjin.

Which makes you glance at Hyunjin and he seems a little tense, his jaws are all clenched yet it makes him more attractive.

"As soon as you left for the party, your friends had to choose whether or not to bet on your loyalty to the principles of the retreat."

A scoff slips out of you because your guess is right, you're not new to Lana's hidden agenda, the boat party was a test and you may not broken any rules but you failed nonetheless.

"We can double the prize money you know," Diego says, "All you had to do was to not break any rules."

"Oh, no..." Saskia cringes.

"What did you bet?" You ask, feeling a little anxious if they choose to bet all of the money.

"We bet to put our trust in you," Andy answers.

And that's where you failed, you could have prevented anyone from breaking the rules but you let them happen.

YOU: I never thought that they would bet double, that we weren't going to do anything.

Hyunjin is nervous, anxious even but when he finally sees you coming, he feels so relieved. Now that you're back, a new question pops in his head: did you break any rules?

His faith wavers a little as he notices that your bikini is damp and so is your hair, and you sit on the far end of the sofa. He doesn't even dare to ask and waits for someone else to do it for him.

"It's a good time to tell us if you broke any rules," Andy says, taking the role to ask the big question.

Edie's hand raised in the air and the sheer smile on Andy's face falters, "I broke the rules. I kissed Gustav," she admits right away.

"We kissed, yes," the new guy, Gustav, confirms with a sly grin.

"I thought the rules didn't apply outside the retreat," Edie innocently says in an effort to defend her rule break.

"Felix and Chris, and uh... Avery, they were encouraging us to break rules, saying that Lana wasn't there," Saskia delivers a weak argument.

Hyunjin is getting more tense with every detail of the boat party getting exposed in this heated argument.

"We held back at first," Edie calmly remarks.

"But you did give in," Remy says, easily diminishing her remark.

"I regret to inform you that many rule breaks were detected," Lana spoils another detail.

"I thought it was only the two of you," Marie says, pointing at Edie and Gustav, "Was there someone else?"

Hyunjin looks around and deeply hopes that he doesn't see your hand raised in the air, he sees Pablo's hand instead.

"Emilie and I kissed," he admits a little too late.

"They threw away kisses," Andy sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.

Pablo tries to throw the blame back at Edie, "She kissed a lot."

"Everyone did body shots," Edie reveals another detail and her hand flies in your direction.

"I only did one body shot," you defend yourself, "And I don't think that counts."

Hyunjin is fine with body shots, he has done it a couple of times during parties but his concern is who you did it with.

"We also went skinny dipping," Edouard reveals another thing.

And now skinny dipping? He's so wrong to think that you won't do anything, he slumps in his seat, disappointed.

Frida groans out loud, also slumping in her seat.

"Lana, give us the bill!" Diego says, no longer enjoying this.

"Fuck! It's going to be bad, it's double," Andy says in distress.

It takes Lana a moment to calculate the rule breaks and finally comes up with the final result, "All of these rule breaks have cost the group $72,000."

A minute passes in eerie silence as everyone tries to process how much money have lost at that boat party. There were only five people invited and yet they were capable of spending that much money.

"It must have been awesome being there," Marie sneers with a scowl.

"Of course it was," Pablo unapologetically says, being insensitive to his surroundings.

"The prize fund now stands at $60,000," Lana updates the current prize fund.

There's not much money left and with the new guest, he can't guarantee that it'll stay on that amount for long.

"You have the opportunity to develop and learn to connect. Don't take the process for granted," Lana concludes the session with a warning.

HYUNJIN: We are paying the price for something that wasn't our fault. All I can do is laugh.

It's close to bedtime and you head straight to the dressing room to take a quick shower and put on a pair of comfortable clothes of camisole and white shorts.

You're not purposely avoiding Hyunjin because at some point you'll have to talk to him, you merely give yourself and him some time to process what happened at the cabana earlier.

As you're doing your skincare routine, you see him entering the dressing room with an apparent scowl on his face and you take this as a cue to talk to him.

As he walks past your chair, you grab him by the hand and look up at him, "Hey, let's talk."

He rather seems reluctant to your invite but you don't want to wait anymore, it's a great time to have a talk since the two of you are alone in the dressing room.

You pat the chair next to you where Edie usually sits, "Come, sit here!"

He obeys you without saying anything, sitting facing you and letting you hold his hand on his lap. You have told everything about the boat party but you know you have to assure him that there's nothing else happened other than that.

"What happened at the boat party, I've already said everything that I did. I only did a body shot and nothing else," you tell him, keeping your tone soft and calm.

He gets quiet for a moment and it's his turn to speak so you wait for him to say anything, rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb.

He slightly slumps on the chair, sending his long legs spreading open in front of you and you know it's not the time for it but you feel tempted to tease him.

"We were all talking about all of you and the things you probably do there," he says.

You let go of his hand and rest your hand on his thigh all the while your eyes are looking at him, "Yeah?"

"I said if it were me, I wouldn't do that because one, out of respect for you and what we have."

Based on experience, you doubt that his act would match his words but you give him the chance to finish his talk.

"Two, for the group," he continues.

He makes it sound like you are this selfish person who does things as she pleases and you don't care about him at all when in fact, you did nothing on that boat party except for that one bodyshot with Avery.

"It wasn't intentional, someone chose to do it with me," you tell him the reason why you did it, not because you wanted to.

"I'm just—" he abruptly stops talking as if he has a change of mind in the middle of a sentence.

"I know what I feel for you and it's just that I can't act like that I'm okay with what you did," he explains.

You retract your hand off of him and grip the edge of your chair, "I told you, I only did one body shot and nothing else."

"You wouldn't like it if I did it," he hastily replies, almost losing himself there as he gives you an intense glare.

You hate to sleep without resolving it but it's obvious that he's angry so it's best to give him time to cool down and you can talk it all out with clear heads the next day.

YOU: He almost kissed another girl on a date and what makes him think that he won't do anything at that boat party? [Scoffs]

It's when you wake up that you realize that some people were switching beds last night.

Vic is sleeping with Marie while Edouard sleeps with Andy so you guess she already knew about what happened between Edouard and Saskia. At least, she knew it from Edouard himself and not from someone else.

As for you, you're not going into the talk yet. You still cuddle him and give him a morning kiss, you treat him like usual to let him know that nothing changed between you and him. This is just another thing you need to overcome together and deep down, you know you will.

The morning continues with a mumbling mess that is Vic at the breakfast table.

"I'm only going to try again if he can actually win me over," she says, stirring the scrambled egg on her plate with a fork.

You don't have the energy to deal with drama first thing in the morning so you decide not to meddle and risk saying things that upset her more.

"Then let him win you over," Marie from two chairs over tells her.

"I don't think he understands that he really needs to do the work to win me back," Vic grumbles again, dropping her fork onto her plate.

"So tell him," Marie coyly responds.

Vic sighs and runs her hands through his dark long hair, "But I know I'm never going to work things out with Saskia."

You know it's better not to stay away from it but you can't help it when your friends are going against each other, especially over a boy.

You put down your cutlery and look at Vic, "Vic, I think that you're a grown woman, and whether you want to or not, you should work things out with her."

She subtly rolls her eyes in response, not taking your words when it's possible to do so if one of them is open to reconciliation.

"You could figure this out together," you assure her.

"I am not going to talk to this girl. If she wants to talk to me which she won't then I'll talk to her. But she won't," Vic says with her nostrils flaring in anger.

It's obvious that Vic is not open to reconciliation, moreover, it's tricky considering that she has stubbornness in her. Then there's nothing left to do but tell her which side you're taking and it's neither.

"I just want you to understand that I love you and I also like talking to her. I don't want you to think that I'm two-faced," you carefully explain not avoid getting your words twisted.

"I just want everything to be fine because I like you both a lot," you add.

In the afternoon, Lana called everyone to the cabana as usual and she prepared something for everyone there. There's a TV with the word 'Cinelana' on the screen.

"Cinelana?" Edie says in genuine confusion.

Marie puts all of her hair to the side before taking a seat, "Will it be...?" She wildly guessed with a raised eyebrow.

Not long after everyone has taken their seats, the melodic chime comes and the cone lights up to signify Lana's arrival.

"Hello, everyone."

"Hi, Lana!" Everyone replies in unison.

"How are you?" Lana asks.

"Poor," Frida shortly replies.

"Broke and scared," Saskia answers.

To be honest, you feel more scared than broke. Maybe it's coming from knowing that you didn't contribute to that money deduction.

"From what I can see from your behavior, some forms of physical contact can be more sexual than those prohibited at the retreat," Lana says.

You have a feeling that she's about to expose everyone with this Cinelana and that's what you're scared of.

"But it's better to show than tell."

YOU: I have no problem showing everything that happened. Showing the thing I did is fine by me. But when it comes to the others, I don't know.

"I want you to see yourselves through my eyes."

The ones who went to the boat party seem to be nervous and everyone pretty much knows what Lana is about to show. Hyunjin can only hope that he doesn't see what he doesn't want to see.

"What is she going to show?" Diego curiously asks.

"Is there popcorn?" Marie casually asks.

"May the first session of Cinelana begin," Lana announces.

Cinelana starts with them having a big toast and from there, things escalate quickly, everyone reacts with a lot of gasps and squeals, cheering when they catch someone doing the rule break.

Hyunjin's heart skips a beat when you come on the screen, a girl pours a drink onto your chest and proceeds to drink it straight from it. He sees that you cover your face with your hands, looking flustered.

He feels a little jealous but not the kind that makes him angry, It's the kind that makes him envy. It's even crazier that he doesn't which one he should be more jealous of, the girl who did the body shot on you or you.

"Calm down. This is just the beginning," you tell everyone.

It suddenly turns quiet when the footage of Saskia and Edouard doing body shots on each other. Hyunjin can't help but look to the side, at Vic who looks uncomfortable and displeased with what she's seeing.

Thankfully, the attention is shifted to Edie who's devouring the new guy with ferocious kisses that get everyone hysterically screaming.

"Wow. Edie!" Diego clicks his tongue at her.

The movie ends with them going into the sea naked and Hyunjin is relieved to see that you told the truth to him, in fact, he should be proud that you stick to the principles even though everyone around you doing the opposite.

"And that's why we're poor," Marie comments as the screen turns dark.

Lana chimes once more, "What do you think about the movie?"

"I liked it, Lana," Pablo jokingly says.

"Do you think this behavior is fair to the group? Would anyone act differently?" Lana asks.

That seems to make everyone turn quiet again, offending the ones who went to the boat party. He turns to the side and sees that you open your mouth to speak.

"For me personally, when I got on that boat, that's when it stopped making sense to me. I realize that I would much rather be here than be there," you say.

You turn your head at him and smile, an unexpected gesture that makes him feel touched. All of a sudden, he doesn't know why he's mad in the first place, you've told him the truth and that should be enough for him.

"I think I'd have acted differently if I knew how much it would affect some people here," Edouard adds with a defeated look on his face.

"Now is the time to think about how are you going to move forward. I really hope you try harder," Lana says.

In other words, Lana demands everyone to do better from this moment on. Hyunjin figures that he should do better too in building this connection with you, he doubted you when he should have trusted you just like you trust him.

"That's all for today," Lana concludes the session.

Now is the time to pick up the conversation from last night. He takes you to the firepit to get some privacy so the two of you can talk comfortably.

"So, what do you think?" You ask, folding your legs on the sofa facing him.

Hyunjin cracks a smile and answers, "I can't even be mad at that. That was so hot."

You burst out laughing and playfully hit his chest, he catches your hand to stop you, pulling you onto his lap. He looks up at you and brushes your hair to the side, "I think I was made because you were gone the whole day," he honestly admits.

A smile rises on your face, "You missed me?"

"So much," he shamelessly answers.

"You're so into me, mmh?" You ask, putting your forehead against his.

"I'm so into you," he shortly replies, ignoring how stupid he sounded.

"Me too," you tell him with your hand cupping his jaw, "I'm so into you."

It's one of those moments that Hyunjin wishes he could freely kiss you just to prove his words to you with actions and it stresses him that he can't do that.

As if you read his mind, you land a soft kiss on his nose to compensate for not being able to kiss his lips and smile when you pull away. It doesn't quite satisfy his needs but it's enough to make his heart pitter-pattering inside his chest.

"We're even now," he jokingly says.

You hit his chest again a little harder this time, "Excuse me? This was different!" You strongly disagree.

He laughs and pulls you closer, what he did that time with Saskia is far worse than someone doing a body shot on you. He nods and immediately agrees with you.

"Okay, okay, but you owe me a body shot," he says, trying to get something out of it.

"That's fair," you agree to it.

HYUNJIN: My honest reaction? I liked the movie. It's better than I thought [chuckles]

The drama between Vic, Edouard, and Saskia continues onto the next day.

It gets even messier when the girls are doing makeup in the dressing room, it was a nice and quiet afternoon until Vic starts a fight, unprovoked.

"Do you think Edouard was hitting on her?" She asks you, fully aware that Saskia is there on the opposite side of the vanity table, curling her hair in peace.

Hearing that she is being indirectly addressed, Saskia puts down her curling iron and looks at Vic.

"No, he wasn't hitting on me, Vic. It's not like that," she tells him.

Vic acts nonchalantly, she continues putting foundation on her face as she talks, "Then what was it like?"

"He wasn't hitting on me and I wasn't hitting on him either," Saskia remarks.

"If you were hitting on him, then I have a problem with that," Vic argues more instead of dropping the conversation there.

"You think I hit on him? For God's sake, Victoria, don't be silly!" Saskia says with a sarcastic scoff.

The fact that Saskia addresses Vic by her full name only means that she has struck her nerves.

"No, I mean it," Vic keeps arguing.

You hate to get caught in the middle of the conflict so does everyone else on the vanity table but to meddle in is not the best option either.

'Yeah, keep believing that men are so honest. Men always talk their way out of things and the woman is the slut, the woman is the whore," Saskia says, still managing to curl her hair despite being in the middle of an argument.

Vic roughly puts down her makeup brush onto the table with a clang, "But if you led him on—"

Saskia cuts her off to defend herself, "Everyone was drinking, and when you drink—"

And Vic cuts her off midsentence in return, "You led him to believe you wanted him."

Saskia scoffs again and stops doing things altogether, "Oh, so you mean I can't drink? I can't get excited. I can't have fun at a party?"

You grab Vic's hand to stop her from keeping going and escalate things further, filling the room with palpable animosity. You don't want to be seen as taking anyone's side but no one is trying to stop them from coming at each other and turning it into a whole fight.

Looking around for help, you have no one to turn to but the cone perched on the shelf in the dressing room. Before you can ask for help, she chimes in.

Things are getting out of hand that Lana has to intervene, she gathers the three in the bedroom to talk and hopefully, they get to work it out together.

Since there's a party tonight, you continue doing your makeup with the rest of the girls while hoping for the best outcome for the three of them.

You still feel a little tense from being caught in the middle of conflict and Hyunjin seems to notice it. He comes from behind you, putting all of your hair away to the side so he can kiss your neck.

With his hand wrapped around your neck to keep you still, he gently sucking on the skin. You're squealing as he keeps placing ticklish kisses along your shoulder blade.

"Oh, I'm jealous," says the new girl, Emilie.

Somehow, it feels good to know that your relationship is making someone jealous. Hyunjin places another kiss on your cheek before leaving for the bathroom.

"Let's be a throuple," Emilie says as she sits on Saskia's chair.

"A sincere relationship with three people," she explains as if you don't know what it means.

You almost broke up with him when you knew he almost kissed another girl and what makes her think that you'll be okay sharing Hyunjin with her? You give her a pass because she's new so you awkwardly chuckle in response.

YOU: Back off, girl. I'm not into this throuple business.

It's a real party when everyone is getting along well and having fun.

The talk seems to be a success with Vic looking so much better, she's back to her chipper mood and she's dancing with Edouard. On the other hand, you sense that things between her and Saskia are not doing that well but at least, they're staying civil to each other now.

Putting drama aside, you and Hyunjin are doing better than ever. You trust each other more now and your connection is getting stronger, the next plan is to show true growth in your relationship to earn a green light.

Hyunjin hoists you against his body until your feet are off the ground, you hurriedly cling to him by putting your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist.

"Is this how we're going to do it?" You jokingly ask with a sly grin on your face and your hand massages the nape of his neck.

"In front of everybody? Yeah, that's the idea," he playfully responds.

The fun time has to end with Lana being a party pooper as usual. Everyone knows what to do when the chime comes, heading to the cabana like animals about to get slaughtered. Considering that she crashed the party, she'd better have some good news for the group.

"Hi, Lana. Do you have another movie?" Diego jokingly asks.

"Do you want her to show yours?" Edie pokes fun at him.

Lana skips the casual greeting and goes straight into the talk, you hate whenever that happens because it means she's not pleased with something. But everyone has been behaving well, especially after that huge blow to the prize money at the boat party.

"I see how you talk a lot about finding a connection but I also see that some of you do little about it," Lana says.

There's still hope that this going to turn out well and you cling to that hope.

"Connecting is not necessarily trying to be a couple, but opening up to the process and being aware that mistakes are part of any learning process."

Everyone stays quiet, no one is saying anything but intently listening to what Lana says to know where this talk leads.

"Getting it wrong is one thing. Giving up on the process is another. And that can no longer continue to happen here on my retreat."

"Y-yeah?" Edie stammers, sensing that Lana is onto something, something unpleasant.

"I detected some of you have a lack of interest in new connections. Therefore I need to continue my work here without the presence of some people."

It's only a minute ago you thought about how you need to show growth in your relationship and now you're worried that you haven't done enough. Your hand immediately grabs Hyunjin's as you close your eyes, anxious.

"Two of you must leave the retreat tonight," Lana announces.

YOU: And we thought we'd get good news [exhales]

The tension in the room heightens as Lana is about to announce the two people being sent home tonight.

Hyunjin is nervous and so is everyone because, at this point, it could be anyone. Lana sees everything and he admits that he hasn't shown enough progress which puts him at risk of leaving the retreat.

"One of you has spoken many times about being a closed-off person, and couldn't see how the retreat would change that," Lana explains the reason why she chose this person.

Hyunjin can think of someone who fits that description, he turns his head to the side where Marie is sitting and she kind of guesses who it is as well.

"The second person I'm eliminating tried opening up to the process at first but it seems that they lost focus on the purpose of the retreat," Lana gives another explanation on the reason why she sent home the second person.

For this one, Hyunjin can't tell who it is but he prays inside that it's not him. He hopes that Lana gives him so more time to continue building this connection with you.

"Therefore, their stay at this retreat has come to an end."

He slowly inhales air and quietly lets it out while continuously wishing that Lana would not call his name.

"Exiting the retreat tonight are..."

He sees no one is feeling safe either because no one wants to go home yet.

"...Pablo and Marie."

He feels relieved that it's not him but it doesn't make him feel good either knowing that someone else has to go. He gets up from his seat to give Pablo and Marie a farewell hug for he found friendship in them.

"Pablo and Marie, it's time for you to leave the retreat," Lana orders.

Everyone standing up to send them off with a wave goodbye and sending well wishes their way.

Tonight started fun and it turned into the opposite in a flip of a switch, but that's life, we never know what's going to happen next.

What Hyunjin knows is that he's grateful that he's still here. He rests his head on your neck as the two of you lie on the bed still dressed in your party costumes, he puts his arm across your chest and pulls you close.

"I'm happy we still have each other," he softly whispers to you.

You endearingly brush his head and place a sweet peck on his forehead, "Me too, baby."

Lana has given him more time in the retreat when it could have been him going home tonight and for that, he feels grateful because he's not ready to go, he can't even imagine himself leaving you.

HYUNJIN: It's been hard, but at the same time, I... understand the situation.

This morning is the same as like other morning in the retreat.

The lights are on as a wake-up call for everyone at the same time every day. You wake up and see Hyunjin the moment you open your eyes, you give him a morning kiss on the cheek.

You run your hand through his hair and softly greet him, "Morning, baby."

He smiles in response and mumbles, "Morning."

He takes your hand, puts it around him, and leans in to make a trail of kisses on your inner arm, continuing it to your shoulder and neck.

"Morning, fam!" Edie cheerfully greets everyone in the room who is still stuck in their beds.

"It's crazy that sometimes I can see this mole of yours and sometimes I don't," you say in bewilderment as your index finger poked the faint mole under his left eye.

He closes his eyes and blissfully smiles at you, "Want to hear something crazier?"

"Yeah. What?"

"You're getting sexier and sexier every day," he answers while squeezing the flesh on your waist.

"Ouch!" You yelp in pain but that only encourages him to tighten his hold around you.

It's a peaceful morning until someone recognizes what is missing in this room.

"Wait, where's Lana?" Frida asks.

You scramble to turn on the bed to see the cone is missing from its usual place, she usually sits prettily on the small round table in the corner of the room but she's not there.

"Shit! Lana's gone," Edie says, her mouth stays open.

You exchange a glance with Hyunjin but he's also befuddled with Lana's sudden disappearance, well, a staff probably took the cone away while we were asleep but there must be a reason they're doing it.

"We're always in a throuple with her so it's weird Lana is not here when we wake up," Saskia says while cuddling with Remy on their bed.

"She's out on a date with Siri," Andy jokingly says with a satisfied laugh.

"Maybe Lana prepared breakfast for us," Diego wildly guesses, "she's in the kitchen being Lana Ramsey."

Everyone laughs at that one but it starts to get serious when everyone is getting their breakfast and Lana is not there, Andy goes to check the cabana just in case someone misplaced her.

"She's not there either," Andy returns with an answer.

"Do we have to find her?" Gustav confoundedly asks, not knowing what to do since he's still new in this retreat.

"Just don't make us dig sand to find her, please?" Edie grumbles, getting flashbacks from that first day we arrived at the villa.

"Do you think Lana's disappearance is good or bad for us?" Edouard asks, curious about what everyone thinks of it.

"Maybe she needs some time alone, guys," Saskia coyly says with a glass of orange juice in her hand.

Everyone comes up with various theories about Lana's disappearance and they react differently to it, some are nervous, a few are excited and the rest are a mix of both.

"Oh no, she's not here either," Emilie whines as she looks around searching for the cone in the dressing room.

"Maybe she's tired of us?" Frida coyly says, plopping onto her usual seat at the vanity table.

Vic hands you a bottle of sunspray and turns her back to you, "As long as she doesn't take the money with her, I'm cool," she says.

You turn on your chair to help her spray her backside evenly and make sure you don't miss a spot, you've been doing a very good job at it considering that her skin remains pale while everyone else has gotten tan lines.

"I think Lana is watching us from afar you know when you leave kids by themselves to see if they're going to misbehave or not?" Saskia comes up with another theory.

Her theory is the most plausible one, it's Lana we're talking about, just because she isn't there doesn't mean she's not watching. She wasn't there during the boat party yet she knew everything that happened.

"She probably sitting in the control room laughing at us right now," Edie jokes.

However, the scariest part of this is not the disappearance but what will happen with Lana not around to keep everyone's behavior?

YOU: This can't be good. She's just gone like that?

Wait, is everything allowed now?

With Lana disappearing this can only mean that the rules no longer exist as well and that gets Hyunjin excited. He's been good all these times so he thinks he deserves, at least, a little something for his good behavior.

"Lana is gone. The rules are off," Hyunjin mutters as he styles his hair next to Diego in the bathroom.

Diego chuckles and sprays some hairspray into his hair, "I don't know, man, I think that's a bad idea," he disagrees with him.

"Why don't we kiss to test the water?" Hyunjin boldly suggests.

Diego shoves him to the side in reaction to his crazy idea, he gets it that he's been careful with Frida ever since they got the green light. He then leaves the bathroom only for Edouard to come and take his spot.

"Lana's gone. What does that mean?"

Hyunjin's question is not merely a question, it's a test to find out which side Edouard is on: the side that wants to break the rules or the other side that thinks Lana is still watching.

"There's no rule, bro. Know what I mean?" Edouard says with a devilish grin as he combs his hair to the back.

This is the energy that Hyunjin seeks from someone and he feels more confident now knowing he's sharing the same brainwave with someone in this retreat, an accomplice to his mischief.

"Bro, I'm definitely breaking the rules tonight," Hyunjin boldly remarks with a wild, wide grin.

"Been holding it in for so long," Edouard says in continuation of Hyunjin's remark.

"This is going to be a mad night!" Hyunjin concludes with a wicked grin on his face. He raises both hands in the air at Edouard and claps their hands together for double high fives.

Tonight, Hyunjin wants to do a lot of things with you and he'll make sure that it's going to happen.

HYUNJIN: My plan for tonight is to give her the best night of her life [smirks]

"As soon as I found out Lana's gone, everything I learned from the retreat has gone out of the window," Vic openly admits.

The dressing room is buzzing and the girls are exceptionally energized tonight, maybe it's the fact that the cock-blocker is nowhere in sight. Vic's words are true, it feels like everyone is back to their default settings and forgot about the purpose of the retreat.

"Okay, but out of all of the boys, who is most likely to break the rules tonight?" Emilie curiously asks while swinging her mascara wand in the air.

"Pfft... I hope it's Edouard," Vic mumbles.

Edie smacks her lips together then places her hand on your forehand, "To be honest, I think it's Hyunjin," she says, sticking her face at you.

"Oh, yeah," Saskia agrees with an exclamation mark drawn on her face.

Frida chuckles and glares at you, "You better be satisfied tonight 'cause if you ain't, girl..."

"You'll be satisfied tonight," Edie teases you with a sing-song tone while shaking your shoulders.

Their assumption is only making you nervous because of how it comes close to the truth. Hyunjin is and has been ogling at you. Not that he never ogled at you before, he does it more often today and it's not hard to read his mind when he's acting like that the whole day.

Hyunjin chooses the firepit to spend some alone time with you, he makes you sit on his lap even though the sofa could fit seven people. You don't have to second guess everything, you know exactly what he's trying to do.

"Are you alright?" He asks, splaying the hand resting on the small of your back.

"I'm feeling good, babe," you reply with a convincing smile and hope it's enough to hide how nervous you are inside.

His other hand rubs down your thigh and plays with the hem of your skirt, all the while he's putting on this gaze that is soft yet intense and lustful.

"You look very, very cute," he compliments.

He touches the strap of your top and then your hair, "Cute dress, cute smile, cute everything."

Wow! He really is trying hard to win you over and put that sweet mouth to use, and you need to toughen up more.

"Thanks. You look gorgeous," you compliment back.

Hyunjin is wearing a plain white shirts and leaves the top three buttons open, exposing his firm chest muscles and soft skin, inviting you to touch.

Instead of giving in to your intrusive thoughts, you start buttoning his shirts.

"Why are you buttoning up my shirts?" He asks while chuckling.

"So you don't get cold," you simply answer with a suppressed laugh.

He ends up unbuttoning them again and parts the opening of his shirt wider to entice you more. You look away to keep your composure and look back at him when get yourself under control.

But Hyunjin steps up his game, he mixes his sweet words with some physical touches, weakening your defense system with each passing second.

He brushes your hair to the side and holds it there, "You know I never thought I'd meet somebody like you. You're such a lovely person," he mutters to you.

You reach for his hand and put it down, you're holding it on your lap after.

"That's very sweet of you," you reply with a smile.

He brings your hand to his mouth and then places a soft kiss on your knuckles, reminding you of how plush his lips are.

If this keeps going, you don't know how long you can restrain yourself.

YOU: I'm not sure if Lana's testing us, but I'm going to try really hard to not break the rules.

Hyunjin knows which side you're in.

You don't want to break rules while Hyunjin is doing exactly the opposite of that. He can see your defense is up, you're a little rigid, you're being cautious with everything you do, and trying so hard not to fall to his charms.

It's a good thing that Hyunjin has a lot of charms and a strong will to crack your defense. He did it once, he just needs to do it again, except that he needs to do it better this time.

He swipes his thumb across your lips and does it carefully to not smudge your lipstick.

"I miss kissing you," he says in his low, sultry voice, "I want to feel those soft lips again."

You nervously chuckle and slip your hand into the hair on the back of his head, "We've known each other better and I don't think we need to put pressure on ourselves to do anything," you tell him.

Hyunjin drops his other hand to your leg, resting it on the back of your thigh and lightly rubbing the skin with his thumb.

"We could do something," he says with a low laugh, "We can break the rules tonight. Like... why waste the opportunity?"

You chuckle again, tilting your head to the side, away from him to put a safe space between you and him. But, he only needs to close that safe space so he leans in.

"A little kiss, come on," he sweetly whispers.

You cup his jaw and fondly smile at him, "I'm rather suspicious that this is actually a test," you say.

He playfully pinches the skin on the back of your thigh and seductively smiles, "Just a bit of fun. No one will find out," he assures you.

He gets a move on by planting kisses on your neck, fluttering little kisses that he's sure make you tingling inside. He puts his hand on the nape of your neck so he can angle your head as he pleases.

He tilts your head to the side and presses his mouth to your ear, "You're so special to me."

He notices that you're slowly lowering your guard down, your eyes are fluttering shut and your hand helplessly gripping the front of his shirt. All it takes is a bit more of his charm.

"You're my special, special, special," he places a kiss along your jaw every time he repeats that one word.

"Special girl," he murmurs for the last time and then he crashes his lips against you

There is no way you will say no to his kiss, not when he kisses you so passionately, lathering your lips with his, soft on soft, slowly and tenderly.

He pries open your mouth with his tongue to taste you more, he uses his teeth to gently bite your lips and puts his hand in the right place to gain access to deepen the kiss.

You break the kiss first and immediately gasp for air, the next thing you do is wipe the lipstick mark around his mouth.

"Does the color look good on me?" He playfully asks.

"Yeah," you shortly reply.

"Put some more then," he teases.

This is only the first rule break of many and it's already a success.

HYUNJIN: Told you, Hwang Hyunjin always gets what he wants [nonchalantly shrugs]

Now that he's already got what he wants, you hope it's enough for him.

Honestly, you didn't know how you also needed that until he kissed you. You stay in the firepit while everyone else is starting to turn in for the night and the two of you are the only ones still outside.

He brushes your hair, putting it away from your face, and holds your head in his hands like you're a fragile object.

"Should we do something else?" He jokingly asks.

Gosh. You hope he's not seriously asking to do more than a kiss. You pretend to not hear it and take his hands in yours.

"It's getting late," you tell him with a pout and half-shut eyes, showing him that you're getting drowsy even though you're not.

He gently rubs your chin and softly asks, "Want to head inside?"

You nod and smile, "Mm-hmm."

It's a relief that Hyunjin stops trying, you feel like you can properly breathe now as you get off his lap. He gets up from the sofa too and leads the way back to the villa.

You may have failed not breaking the rules but you've tried your best to show some restraint until Hyunjin stops by the terrace and turns his head to the side.

"Want to check the suite first?" He asks.

You nervously chuckle and jokingly ask, "Is it even open?"

Your words only encourage him to take you there and check it. You deeply wish the suite is locked or else, you don't have any other reasons not to get in there with him.

To your dismay, the suite is unlocked.

Hyunjin opens the door and lets you in first. The suite looks exactly like the last time you've seen it, except, there's no chilled champagne, no rose petals on the bed and it's dim with no lit candles in sight.

He closes the door behind him and then goes straight to the bed, sitting on the end of the bed with his legs spreading open.

You're nervous to even get close to him, afraid of what it would lead to. You stand in between his legs, not sure what to do in this enclosed space with him.

Hyunjin puts his hands on each side of your waist and pulls you close, he then buries his head in your chest. You both stay like that for a moment with you softly scratching his head.

He then lifts his head and looks up at you, "I want it to do it," he straightforwardly says.

He loops his arms around your waist and closes the gap between your bodies, "Do you want to do it?"

You don't want to be a hypocrite by saying no when the truth is you want it, you want it so bad that you don't want to resist anymore.

"I do," you honestly answer.

"But it's a big decision," you add with a thin smile.

With Hyunjin, you know you want more than just casually dating each other, you want this to be a genuine relationship, and in a genuine relationship, having sex means taking a step further into a more established relationship.

"You know how I feel about you so let me show you that," he says.

He slightly rises from the bed just to place a kiss on your jaw, "I'm only waiting for you to say the word," he says.

The moment you step into the suite, you know that you've made up your mind and honestly, you're tired of pretending like you can resist him.

You take a deep breath and hold his head in your face, you look into his eyes to seek assurance that you're ready for the next step.

Instead of using words, you plant your lips on him and let your kisses answer it for you.

YOU: How am I going to resist Hyunjin?

Hyunjin wastes not another second, he takes your top off, exposing your half-naked body to him and he gladly buries his head in between your breasts. He takes one into his mouth while the other one is being fondled by his big hand with his fingers circling your nipple.

"Baby, be gentle, please?" You whine when he accidentally sucks too harder.

He keeps your words in mind but sometimes his body won't obey his commands, it's like it has a mind of its own, a mind that is so hungry for you and only knows a lot of ways to devour you.

He lifts your leg, making you straddle him to satisfy his need for closeness. He crashes his lips against yours again and again yet, can't get enough of it.

Without him knowing, you manage to undo all of the buttons on his shirt and he helps by getting rid of it for you, hurriedly tosses it aside so he can hold you again.

"You never cease to amaze me, baby," he tells you before roughly leaning in to kiss you again.

It's quiet in the room except for the sounds of his lips placing kisses all over you. Your skirt is all hunched up around your waist, your hands are cupping your breasts and Hyunjin keeps going down south, continuing the trail of kisses to your feet.

He then kneels on the bed and looks down at you, his dark lustful eyes traveling down your body, making him realize that you still have your skirt on.

He tugs his fingers on the waistband of your skirt and softly he says, "Raise your hips for me, baby."

You obey right away, raising your hips high enough to let Hyunjin pull your skirt down and off your legs, leaving you with nothing but lacy underwear, the fabric is so thin he can see through it, the thing that endlessly tantalizes him.

He grabs both of your legs, holding them close to his chest before parting them open. He turns his head to the side, bringing your ankle close to his mouth to kiss it. He doesn't stop there, the kisses continue to your inner thighs.

Hyunjin doesn't bother to remove it first, he dives right into your clothed cunt, his greedy mouth full of your flesh and your underwear soaked wet from his saliva.

He's enjoying, enjoying it so much that he puts your underwear to the side so he can taste you better, his slick tongue and his soft lips drenched in your wetness.

He can hear you moaning but it's somewhat muffled, he pulls away for a moment and looks at you between your legs.

"Moan louder for me, baby. I can't hear you with my head between your thighs."

Well, the only way he can make you moan louder is by pushing the right button. He adds his fingers to the combination, giving you the utmost pleasure by moving them in sync.

You keep arching your back and grinding at his mouth, enough to tell him that he only needs to continue his delightful assault to get you to your release.

"Baby, oh..." your voice cracks as your eyes screwed shut, overwhelmed with pleasure.

He kisses your inner thigh as he watches your cunt soaking wet with a mix of your essence and his saliva, but it's your gushing hole that makes him impatient to be inside you.

"Why are you so good with your mouth?" You ask in awe, half panting from all the moaning.

Well, Hyunjin takes pride in his prowess at giving head and it gives a boost of confidence to show you what else he's good at. He pulls the duvet until it covers both of your bodies so as to not expose yourselves to the cameras installed in the room.

Under the cover, he manages to take your underwear off without looking and plays with your bundle of nerves after, feeling it swelling and pulsating under his touch.

"I'm good with my hands too," he says.

You shyly smile and pull him for a kiss, but you show him you want the other thing. You put your hand inside his jeans and his boxer altogether, easily finding his hard cock and wrapping your hand around it.

"So hard. So big," you breathlessly murmur against his lips.

"So ready to be inside you," he finishes your sentence.

You crack a laugh and peck his lips, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

It's good to know he's not the only one being impatient here, but first, he has to get rid of his jeans and put

"Give me a minute to get a condom on," he gives you a peck before rolling to the side of the bed.

He sits on the edge of the bed, rummaging through the small drawers on the bedside table to find a condom, and then takes his jeans off. He unwraps the foil wrapper and carefully rolls the rubber down his length, it's not hard to do so when he's fully erect and it's all because of you.

Once he makes sure he properly put the condom on, he climbs onto the bed and gets under the duvet with you, arms instantly wrapped around you.

The only fear that still lingers in him is that he won't last long considering that he's been refrained from any sexual activities for these past couple weeks. What if he cum the second he put himself inside you? He wants to make the first time having sex with you a special moment, not a humiliating one.

"I want to do it with you," you tell him out of the blue.

It's as if you heard his mind, you assure him that this is what you and there's no pressure whatsoever, you merely want to do it with him.

"And I want to do it with you," he says back with a soft smile on his small face.

You put your hands around his neck and pull him for a kiss, "Let's do it together."

In that moment, Hyunjin gets hit by the realization that everything else doesn't matter. What matters is this moment with you.

He kisses you, fueling himself for what he's about to do next, and while brushing your hair to the side, he says, "I'm going in, yeah?"

You nod with a smile, permitting him to enter the most sacred part of your body.

It's tricky to keep the duvet from sliding off of him as he kneels on the bed again, he then takes your legs and parts them open. He starts by repeatedly rubbing his length against your slit, using your bodily fluid as a lubricant.

With the reminder to be gentle, he uses his tip to tease your entrance before slowly easing himself inside, little by little. You're breathlessly moaning as you keep taking his length so well that Hyunjin can only watch as his cock disappeared into you with your mouth agape.

The only time his eyes stray away from your cunt is to see you moaning with your eyes closed and your hands squeezing your breasts.

A moan slips past his mouth when he is fully sheathed inside your warm, velvety walls and he's not ashamed of it. He keeps groaning as the pleasure of being inside you gets to him, sending his brain close to short-circuit.

He glides his hand up your front and holds the hand cupping your left breast, "Do you see that, baby?"

Hyunjin is eyeing his cock fully buried inside you to the hilt, the image is being imprinted in the back of his head as he thinks out loud.

"I look so perfect inside you, don't you think?"

You nod in a way that is innocent but arousing at the same time which reminds him of how much he wants to ruin you.

He rubs his hand up and down your inner thigh, admiring the view of your body and how it's connected with him.

"You feel so good," he lowly mutters.

He glides his hand up to your chest and kneads on your breast, "I think I need a moment."

Hyunjin takes a minute to adjust himself inside you, how good it feels to be wrapped in your warmth, tight walls, and the way you clench and unclench around him in the slightest of movement.

He kisses you hard and deep to finally start moving and feeling his cock launches deeper and deeper for every thrust into you.

He keeps kissing you and when he's not, moans keep spilling out of your mouth, and calling his name in between those moans. Your bodies eventually move in sync and work together to chase that release.

When Hyunjin finally snaps, he has a moment of clarity. He couldn't believe that he managed to not do it the last time he was here, he had that much restraint in him but now, all bets are off and he's fully aware that it's his biggest gamble yet.

HYUNJIN: Best believe, I'm going all in tonight.

The next morning, Lana is still no-show.

You know she'll be back at some point but you feel a little relieved that she hasn't, you don't want to deal with that yet. You still want to live in this bubble together with Hyunjin.

"Good morning, angel baby," he sweetly whispers into your ear as he spoons you from behind.

You giggle as he places ticklish kisses on your bare shoulder and neck. He holds you close as he rests his head in the crook of your neck to get a little extra sleep.

The two of you returned late from the suite and sneaked into the bedroom while everyone else had fallen asleep. You see that no one is suspecting anything but Lana's sinister disappearance.

"Lana, girl, how long are you going to hide?" Frida asks while twisting her curly hair and securing it with a hair claw.

Thinking about Lana gets you a little uneasy, you break away from Hyunjin's hold and sit on the bed, offering your lap to let him rest his head on.

He gladly does that, resting his head on your lap and putting your hand in his hair, asking you to play with his dark, silky locks.

"Lana is not running away with our money, right?" Andy asks in a panic.

It's funny that he puts a sense of ownership over it when it's no one's money in the first place, and Lana has the right to run away with the money if she wants to.

"Did anyone break the rules last night though?" Diego asks around, scanning the room with his eyes.

Everyone is playing innocent, shaking their heads or completely ignoring the question like you and Hyunjin did. Avoiding it doesn't mean you're not free of guilt, it's there and it's pooling in the pit of your stomach, making you feel faint.

After lunch, you share the hammock with Hyunjin, simply enjoying each other's presence and the beautiful view of the sea.

"Last night felt like a dream," he says out of the blue.

You get butterflies whenever you recall moments from last night and you find yourself smiling like a fool, "Yeah."

The memories are still fresh in your brain, you remember every detail from the way he looked at you, touched you, kissed you, where he put his hand on your body, and oh... just everything.

He puts his arm around you and puts his head against yours, "I didn't regret doing it with you. It was special to me," he tells you.

"You made me feel special," you sincerely tell him because that's what he made you feel last night: nothing less than special.

"Last night, we took a big step in our relationship," he says.

You nod in agreement.

"Whatever happens, we're in it together," he says, pressing a kiss on your temple.

Of course, he knows that you need comfort and assurance, that's why he said those words. You gently hold his jaw and place a tender kiss on his cheek.

"We're in it together," you repeat his words back to him with a smile.

Hyunjin is right, whatever happens, you shouldn't be afraid because you're not alone, you're in it together with him.

When you walk back to the villa, Andy comes running toward the two of you, his blond hair bouncing on his head.

"What's going on?" You ask him.

"It's Lana. She's back," Andy answers.

YOU: I knew it was all too good to be true [exhales]

"Anxiety is back, my friend," Edouard shouts as he takes a seat on the curved sofa.

No shit. Your legs are shaking, your hands are sweating and you press your lips together so that it forms a thin line on your face. Even with Hyunjin sitting next to you, you can't seem to relax.

"Even though my conscience is clear, I'm tense," Frida says then lets out a sigh.

The cone is there on the table and she's quietly glaring at you. When she chimes, you almost jump on your seat.

Everyone is gasping in response to her return, even though you know no one is expecting she will be back this soon.

"Hello, everyone," Lana starts with her usual greeting.

"Hi, Lana," you weakly reply with your knee bouncing against the floor.

"Yesterday, I disappeared from the villa to test how you would behave when left to your own devices. Just as you will be in the real world after my retreat," Lana explains.

You do not like where this is going but you have nowhere to go either, you have to face the music.

"Despite my absence, my sensors kept monitoring your every move," Lana further reveals.

"I knew it!" Diego exclaims, triumphantly fisting the air.

Emilie shakes her head and sighs, "It was all too good to be true.

Your guess is not off the mark either, you were right that this was all just a test from Lana and you clearly failed.

"I am very disappointed to report that there were several breaches of the rules," Lana informs.

This is where the witch hunt begins, everyone is looking at each other and trying to spot any guilty faces. Somehow, you manage to keep a straight face despite your heart beating out of your chest.

"Anyone want to start?" Diego asks.

You see Remy and Saskia are glancing at each other and then she turns her head to face everyone again.

"We had a kiss," Saskia comes clean.

"We had a chat, we got carried on. Just once, I swear," Remy explains the details and ends it with a sincere apology.

"There was another breach of the rules," Lana will not stop exposing the rule breakers until they come out with the truth.

Remy and Saskia had it easy because it was their first time breaking the rule and it was only just a kiss. You can't compare it to what you've done with Hyunjin.

"We also kissed, Edouard and I," Vic immediately admits, not holding back from telling everyone about it.

"I just thought that the rules were off," Edouard coyly explains, but the grin on his face tells otherwise.

"Told you, Lana was watching the whole time," Andy tells him.

"I'm sorry," Edouard quickly apologizes to end the conversation.

"The prize fund now stands at $48,000," Lana updates the current amount of prize money.

Everyone must think that's the end of it, that no one else breaking the rules and losing $12,000 is the worst anyone could have done to the prize fund.

You hate to break it to them but they haven't heard the worst of it, you look at Hyunjin and he's pinching at his lower lip which is something he does whenever he's nervous.

"However, there was an additional, serious breach of the rules," Lana further reveals.

YOU: I don't know what's coming but Hyunjin and I might be in some trouble.

Hyunjin knows he's got to be a big boy and owns up to his mistake. Also, he can't stand seeing you all tense and anxious next to him.

Before it gets messy and uncomfortable for everyone, he leans forward in his seat and starts talking.

"Last night, we... uh," Hyunjin couldn't find any words that would help him soften the blow.

He takes a deep breath and tries again, "Last night we took a step further—"

He gets cut off as everyone else starts groaning in response, knowing the rest of the sentence without him needing to finish it. A few of them seem to have expected this to happen and most of them are disappointed in him.

"This is all my fault, I messed up and I do feel bad," he sincerely says.

He looks at everyone, each and every one of them eye to eye, then with all of his heart, he apologizes.

"I'm sorry," he earnestly says.

"You yet again failed to show any form of restraint and broke the ultimate rule of my retreat, sexual intercourse," Lana says.

Hyunjin didn't think that it would hit him this hard, he may have said he did not regret what he did last night but he regretted acting so selfishly.

"There was $48,000 in the prize fund but because of your numerous rule breaks last night, your prize fund is now at $0," Lana finally drops the shocking news.

There's no money left in the pot anymore and it is all his fault, he understands if everyone is disappointed in him or even hates him for it. He deserves it.

"The prize fund is at $0. However, there will be more tests and opportunities to replenish the prize fund," Lana suddenly shares uplifting news.

It's very rare for her to share good news after bad ones and the mood turns a little lighter, everyone is cheering and applauding for the good news.

"Yes, Lana!" Diego exclaims while clapping his hands together.

"Now I need everyone on their best behavior!" Frida scolds everyone.

But as we all know, happiness is fleeting because Lana hasn't finished with the announcement yet.

"But not for all of you."

Everyone knows what that means and it means she's going to send someone home. He hates to admit it but he has a feeling that Lana is going to send you and him out of here.

"Oh, my days!" Edie whines, fanning her face as she gets red all over from holding her tears.

"No, please, Lana," Saskia hopelessly begs at the cone.

His thought somehow manifests into reality as Lana calls both of your names and his heart drops to his stomach.

"Please stand up!" Lana orders.

Hyunjin can't even feel the ground beneath him as he gets up from the sofa and takes a stand, he puts his arm around you and holds you close, providing you comfort even though he knows you're just as anxious as him.

"As a couple, you have broken the most rules but one of you has shown more disregard for the rules than the other. And that person will be going home," Lana announces.

"Oh, my god," Edie whines again, burying her face in her hands.

"The person leaving the retreat is..."

Deep down, Hyunjin knows that Lana is sending him home, he looks at you and holds you tighter. He can see that you know that he knows.

"...Hyunjin."

HYUNJIN: At the end of the day, you can only point one finger and that's at me.

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