#'just wanna live some truth that wasnt changed by you'

[the-kipsabian]

"in this world of white noise you're my favorite sound" has to be like. my favorite nate lyric tho ough

[vicsnook]

Afterglow | Bob Floyd x Reader

word count: 1059

warnings: insecurity, fluff

song pairing: Afterglow - Taylor Swift

notes: Hey y'all! This is the last part of the Wildest Dreams series (Bob's version). All of my Bob imagines can be read together as one big story so this can be the ending to them too. I'm sorry for putting y'all through it. You can now find all the parts to this and more linked under Bob in my masterlist. Hope y'all have enjoyed this small series and please don't forget to like and reblog!!

I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue

Put you in jail for something you didn't do

Being friends with Bob proved a little harder than you expected. Not being able to say anything when a girl would buy him a drink at the Hard Deck or when he’d show up hungover to work. You knew it was your fault and that he was hurt over you and Jake, no matter how much he insisted he wasn’t.

I pinned your hands behind your back, oh

Thought I had reason to attack, but no

The same insecurity you felt now as Rooster egged him on to ask for the bartenders number was the reason you lost him. He shook his head at Rooster as you hoped he would and glanced your way giving you a half smile. Nat slid next to you and smiled sympathethically. 

Jake was playing pool in front of you. His angry glances every time he was facing you were not missed by anyone. You knew you’d hurt him too and that what he said was bullshit but you couldn't bring yourself to say anything to him. Instead, you looked down every time he looked at you.

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, and I'm to blame

Staring out the window you cursed yourself for ruining your friendship with Jake and your relationship with Bob. Bob and you were on the mend thankfully but you couldnt lie and say that you didnt miss your friendship with Jake.

Even though you told Nat that what happened between you and Jake was just a stupid mistake. Both of you knew that was far from the truth. You loved both of them but you’d chosen Bob.

You slid off the booth and told Nat you were just going to get some fresh air but she knew that was a lie. The thought of staying until the end of the night just to have to watch Bob leave without you and Jake with another girl made you sick.

It's all me in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

But being home just made it worse. Now you were trapped with your thoughts and there was nothing to distract you from the fact that you ruined everything. Even when Bob tried reassuring weeks ago that it wasnt all your fault and both him and Jake had responsability. You hurt everyone and there was no coming back from that.

—

It's so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

Christmas had snuck up on you but you were too busy with your pity party. Things still hadnt changed between you and Jake but at least Bob and you spoke to each other a lot more outside of work. Accidentally you’d eavesdropped on Nat and Rooster when using their bathroom and found out that Bob would get drunk after seeing you and would put himself down over losing you.

All you wanted was to help him but you were the reason he was hurt in the first place. So you stayed silent and ignored the feeling of wanting to tell him that you felt that way too. Even declining to hang out by using lame excuses.

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Finally one Friday after work Bob blew up. His blue eyes pleading with you as you declined his invitation to go to the zoo.

“What excuse are you going to use now?” he asked, disappointment filled his features. You were cornered.

“I- I uh, fuck fine. You want to know the truth?” you couldnt lie to him, not when he looked at you like he saw right through you. He nodded yes as you cleared your suddenly dry throat and continued, “Bob, I know about your drinking and I just figured I’d be doing you a favor if I just left you alone to heal. I fucked us all up and I can’t keep hurting you just because you’re too nice to tell me off.”

He stared at you as you took a deep breath and looked away. Feeling his hand grabbing yours it broke you out of your thoughts.

“Peach, I’m not drinking because of you. I’m drinking because I feel like it’s my fault too. I took you for granted when I was away and even missed your birthday. Stop blaming yourself. You avoiding me is hurting me more than if you just told me the truth about how you feel,” he said hurriedly trying to make your eyes meet his. “Trust me if I wanted you to fuck off I would’ve told you,” he said, half-smiling as you finally met this eye.

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

“I didnt know that,” you whispered.

“You didn’t let me tell you”

“I thought I’d already lost you and I didnt want to make it worse. I feel like I’m losing my mind” you said, admitting to him what had been haunting you for months.

“You didnt lose me, Peach. I’m still right here. I’ve been trying to get you to give me another chance but I can’t even get you to talk to me outside of work.”

“Another chance?” you asked, unsure if your ears had betrayed you because how could he possibly still want to be with you after everything that happened.

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart

“Yes, Peach. I don’t care about what happened with Jake. I don’t care about any of it all. I just want you. I want us back” he said, you could see the sincerity in his eyes as you tried processing what he had just said. He cupped your face in his hands, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Even after I broke your heart?”

“It was mutual. Now are you coming with me to the zoo on a date or am I going to have to take Payback?”

“Yes” you responded, smiling back at him and following him out to new beginnings.

 

Meet me in the afterglow

taglist: @harperdoodle, @weirdothatwritess, @rosiahills22

[oririexcinere]

"i must not tell lies" -The Boy Who Lived

Verse 1

Dear Delphini, I’m sorry that that man is your father, let me be honest I look at him and wish your grandpa woulda wore a condom I’m sorry that you gotta grow up and then stand behind his shadow Life is hard, I know, the challenges always gon’ be this home Sometimes our parents make mistakes that affect us until we grown And you a good kid that need good leadership Let me be your mentor, since your daddy don’t teach you shit Never let yourself depend on a 'leader' Either must die right there or expeliarmus that man, child Never fall in the pureblood bullshit, that’s bad religion Please remember, you could be dead even if you got horcruxes Never twist your morality, whether right or wrong, youre not just a Black too Get some discipline, don’t cut them corners like your daddy did, fuck what Slughorn did Understand, no throwin’ Killing Curses and hidin’ wands, that’s law Be proud of who you are, your strength come from within Lotta Dark Lords, that’s real, but your daddy ain’t one of them no more And you nothin’ like him, you’ll carry yourself as queen Can’t understand me right now, just play this when you 18

Verse 2

Dear Tom Sr, your son got some achivements, I hope you undermine them Especially with all the muggles that’s hurt inside this climate You one of 'em, so you know how it feels to be in alignment Dear Merope, you look for a future with emotion and hopin’ a man can see you and not be running you gave birth to a master manipulator Even usin’ you to prove who he is a huge favor I’m blamin’ the Gaunts for all his crazy believes Psychopath intuition, the man who like to play victim You created a horrible fuckin’ person, the nerve of you, Merope Girl, sit down, what I’m about to say is heavy, now listen Mhm, your son’s a sick man with sick thoughts I think wizards like him should die Him and Grindelward should get fucked up in a cell for the rest they life He hates Mixedbloods, enslaves them, with legislations of a selfharming fetish Cut his nose and hair off ‘cause he understand bein’ a monster just fit him better He got sorry excuses of wizards in his Death Eaters that pay him on a monthly allowance A child should never be compromised and he keepin’ their children around him And we gotta raise our kind knowin’ there’s purists like them lurkin’ Fuck a Department of Mysteries battle he should die so all of these wizards can live with a purpose I been in this world 7 years, I’ma tell y’all one lil’ secret It’s some weird shit goin’ on and some of these politicians be here to police it They be blamin' victims all inside of they home and feedin’ em to The Daily Prophet Then leak articles of themselves to further push their agendas To any wizard that be stayin’ neutral, know that you’re playin’ your children Or better, you’re sellin’ your grandkids, to the weirdos, not the good ones Rita Skeeter said, “Get you the truths,” so I’ma get mines The Ministry ‘bout to get raided, too, it’s only a matter of time Ayy, Longbottom, keep the family away, hey, Greengrass, will you keep the family away? To anybody that embody the love for they kids, keep the family away They lookin’ at you too if you standin’ by him, keep the family away I’m lookin’ to hex through any purist that lives, keep the family safe

Verse 3

Dear Bella, I’m sorry that your father wasnt active inside your world He didn’t commit to much but his career, yeah, that’s for sure He a narcissist, misogynist, livin’ inside his head Try destroy families rather than takin’ care of his own Shoulda bene teachin’ you spells or readin’ bedtime stories to you Or at your 11th birthday, opening the Hogwarts letter with you Instead, he be in France, payin’ for sex and poppin’ Potions Examples that you don’t deserve I wanna tell you that you’re loved, you’re brave, you’re kind but id be lyin' You got a gift to change the world and could change your baby daddy’s mind ‘Cause our children is the future, but he lives inside confusion Money’s always been illusion, but that’s the life he’s used to His father didn’t claim him neither History do repeat itself, sometimes it don’t need a reason But how I like to say it’s not your fault that he’s hidin’ another child Give ‘em grace, it’s the reason I respect Mr. Weasley So our babies like you can cope later Its a hopeless world but i wish for the better I never wanna hear you chase that man ‘cause his fell behavior Sittin’ at his feet with his other puppets for validation You need to know that love is eternity and trumps all pain I’ll tell you who your Lord is just play this song when it rains Yes, he’s a horcrux maker, torturer, dictator, right And a fuckin’ deadbeat that should never say “more life” Meet the Riddles

Verse 4

Dear Death Eaters, Take those masks off, I wanna see what’s under them achievements Why believe you? You never gave us nothin’ to believe in ‘Cause you lied about blood views, you lied about your legacies You lied about your family tree and your past tense all is perjury You lied about your superiority, you lied about your loyalty Hey Malfoys, Yall pussies, you lied on him, I know they all got you in ‘em You lied about your Imperios, you lied about your Lord, huh You lied about them other criminals that’s out there hopin’ that you come You lied about the only leader that can offer you some help, a greater good solution for yall

Verse 5

Dear Tom, I know you probably thinkin’ I wanted to crash your party But truthfully, I don’t have a hatin’ bone in my body This supposed to be a good exhibition within the Order But you fucked up the moment you showed up at my family’s house Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some selfulfilling prophecy? just for the lore? Guess intelligence is lost when the metaphors don’t reach you And I like to understand ‘cause your house was never a home 70, but you showin’ up as a 11-year-old You got mental problems, integrity problems rituals-coping’ and body problems, bad with money, Gringotts Solicitin’ wizardkind problems, therapy’s a lovely start I try to empathize with you ‘cause I know that you ain’t been through nothin’ Crave entitlement, but wanna be loved so bad that it’s puzzlin’ No dominance, let’s recap moments when you didn’t fit in No secret handshakes with your 'friends' No praise words from your Matron No cultural cachet to binge, just disrespectin' your mother Identities on the fence, don’t know which family will love ya, its back at the orphanage The skin that you’re livin’ in is compromised in souls Can’t channel your power even when holdin’ a Hallow You a blood shamer, you gon’ hide your own papa, ain’t ya? You embarrassed of him, that ain’t right, ain’t no mama to love you either Fuck a battle, this a long-life war with yourself.

mic drop.

[oscill4te]

.

I think almost everyone who says -redacted mental illness- isnt real are usually the same people who think someone is lying when they admit they have had traumatic child experiences/upbringing... with this in mind, was it ever worth even trying to prove it to these people anyway? They never had believed you anyway, why would they start now?

I was once this person and it comes from being raised by a doubter, a cynic, a person who was punished for saying "This is not fair. You have hurt me"... For me the thought process was: "Suffering can't be that common. It would force me to confront that I have suffered, which is simply not true. So I narrow the definition of what true suffering really is, because otherwise it would force me to admit that both I and many others in my life have suffered and I simply cannot deal with that" .... which leads to them in turn doubting those who speak up and are open about their life struggles

Takes a lot of work for these people to change... the issue was never you, for being truthful about your experiences.. they got a whole nother can of worms going on..

you gotta start living your TRUTH~ and if people cringe or feel hostility towards you, who cares? They care yes, but should -you-? Do you really wanna hide your whole life away forever and never speak about your experiences? 🎶 just to dance for the approval of someone who always doubts you bc they cannot wrap their mind around the idea that others are suffering?

I guess hiding is part of the illness though but still you dont have to hide. Speak up. Even if they laugh at you, a survivor looks at you and feels some hope. They feel seen.

I think if society wasnt so apologetic towards abusers maybe these things would be discussed more. maybe this longterm response to trauma wouldn't be doubted and labeled as mere hysteria and lies. Maybe people would be more open.

Its all very complicated and I am navigating it slowly 🐌

[strykingback]

Okay Imma be real cause Im finna say this. 

Kazura is the textbook definition of a TRUE KNIGHT. While Jaune isnt. 

Wanna know why, because Kazura follows the Medieval Code of Chivalry, mostly the one from the Novelization of King Arthur, which I have spoke a lot about especially made references to it. Now while there are different versions of the Code of Chivalry I follow are the ones from the Song of Roland and the King Arthur story. 

Song of Roland’s Code of Chivalry: 

Fear God and His Church Serve the liege lord in valor and faith Protect the weak and defenseless Live by honor and for glory Respect the honor of women

King Arthurs version of the Code of Chivalry: 

Honor Honesty Loyalty Valor

Jaune one one hand just fails at half of these with the exceptions of Respecting Women, and Faith (Since in RWBY’s canon there are Cults/Religions dedicated to the God of Light and Darkness.)

The ones he failed on are: Honesty, As he had lied to get into Beacon Academy Loyalty, As Jaune went against Ironwood and helped RWBY start the Fall of Atlas, despite becoming a Huntsman. Straight up this can be considered a Half-fail since he also follows his friends.....ugh.  Living by Honor and Glory, Now lets be real, Jaune is not a glory hog and he really isn’t But when it comes to Honor he cant even honor a good fight because Ruby with her Plot Device eyes helped Jaune distract Cinder enough to get a cheap shot in and it wasnt even a good hit. Now I was gonna give him a half-fail here since he honors Pyrrhas death....but since he mulls over it like crazy. COME ON MAN. SHES DEAD MOVE ON. 

Protecting the Weak and Defensless, Okay I can give this a half fail here since he does defend them well, but by Volume 8, he just cant save anyone not even those closest to him because He’s the secondary character that gets an arc......ugh. The thing about this here is that... you cant save everyone. That is understandable enough. And you cant just mull over it like its nothing. 

But even after everything he does get a win from me because he faced off against Cinder and Salem...on Valor. 

The thing is he should’ve started improving after Volume 4, oh and maybe USING HIS SHIELD?!?!? NOT TURNING IT INTO ITS “Greatsword Form” The only ones I can give to him is Valor and Loyalty.  

But for Kazura, being born in Brumel and being taught these virtues from when he started training in Brumel. The thing is there are more virtues to being a knight rather than just those up there. He honors his battles well, he tries his very best to save those who are defenseless and weak,he would not only honor his friend but those in positions of power as well. 

The only thing I see Jaune and Kazura being equal in is when something is not right. That those in high positions of power who abuse it are not above the law. But sadly, Jaune just meets halfway, because instead of dealing with the problem by reporting it to the rightful authorities oh idk. THE FUCKING ATLESIAN COUNCIL. Nah, dude just goes off on his own way to “help” Atlas 

What makes me more pissed off is that why wasnt Jaune just changed to a woman?! Cause it would’ve fit a lot more with his Joan of Arc who is a well known historical figure in the Hundred Years War.

With Kazura while in the end of my canon of Volume 7 he does abandon Atlas to its fate, but after a three month timeskip. He begins to regret what he has done and decides to go back in there. To help those in need, while finding out the truth behind his sword and family heritage. 

Kazura is more of a knight than Jaune and its a shame that the Vacuo arc isnt gonna be like fucking Mad Max....and I’ll be pissed if I dont see some shit like that there. 

What makes me more pissed off is that Kazura is like the Dark Knight story minus the Alternate Self thing, filling one with hope, love, and a reason why they use shields overall , while Jaune is like the Paladin quest line bland and confusing....

[therealgarfield333]

ermm what the flip dude!! um yea so im starting this blog bc 2 of my friends have blogs but im too lazy to do coding stuff so im just gonna have a tumblr :3 anyway today was actually fun because m wasnt here today so i didnt have to sit with her! lunch was actually pretty fun today bc d sat with me since her table was full, and then k and z sat with us too bc mrs w is SO strict during lunch for literally no reason.. d and me talked for the whole time but k and z mainly just talked with themselves, but they talked to me a couple of times. i literally DONT know what to do bc i can not sit with m for the rest of the year. its so boring everyday. and literally no one gets that i cant just leave her, because she would be sitting all alone! like i cant just leave her to sit alone. p doesnt get it, every time i say something about not being able to leave her shes like "just leave anyway, its not your responsibility to sit with her" and i guess thats true but I WOULD STILL FEEL BAD!!11!!!!1!

tw sewer slide

ok im literally SO scared bc i just read a's blog and (1) she relapsed again and (2) shes seriously thinking of k ing herself. i LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. because even if i wanted to tell someone who would i tell? the school counselor would probably just call her parents and im not doing that to a, her parents are like bad... but if i dont tell someone its basically my fault if she goes through with doing it. Ughhh i wish there was some way to make her life better because i just care abt her alot. genuinely dont know how i would be able to live without her, shes like the only good thing abt school. i dont know what to do because i care about her so much and i realy really dont want her to go but at the same time i just want her to be free of everything shes going through. but that makes it sound liike i dont care if she does it?? and i do!!! UGHHH I HATE THIS dude. i wish i could make eveyrhting better but i cant.

end of tw i just dont want to think abt this

bruh i wish one of my friends would update their blogs bc i think a is mad at me bc i didnt talk to her for some of the time we were at a basketball game. dude i dont know why but im so paranoid all the time that my friends are talking abt me. like im scared of a and s's messages because what if theytalk about me. ughhhhhhhh. lemme talk about something bc i dont get why its annoying me. so bascially this girl in my grade, she has like so many guys who like her and shes already gone out with a guy in our grade. and theres another guy who likes her and she likes him back and i dont know why but it makes me pissed. idk why cuz i dont have a crush on either of them.. idk i dont want to be mean but its so annoying how many people like her. like i know if i was pretty like her people would like me more. that reminds me earlier i was talking to d about how i better glow up this summer ( i HAVE to you dont get it) and she said that she would bully me into it if i wanted her to. she was joking but likeee maybe ill take her up on that offer. not literally bc i dont want my head shoved dwn the toilet ro something but i wanna ask her what i can do to be prettier. d is a very no bs girl so i feel like shell tell me the truth and she wont be like "nooo ur so pretty stop". i feel like some girls would def do that. honestly though my main problems i dont think can actually be solved, but here are my issues:

fat face

bad jawline

thin lips

gappy teeth

glasses

assymetrriacal eyes

yea i can only really change the bad jawline one...

anyway this blog was prob speled really badly and i should go to sclepp. bye blog:3

[hellohibye1]

🦁: how was 4D? (Some cinemas showed born to fly with 4D effects, the chairs were moving)

🐰: it was so hot! Wls acting skills are amazing

🦁 bullshit, say truth

🐰 your shoulder still hurt?

🐰 I really miss you wyb

Once after filming, we went to dinner all together. 🐰 pulled 🦁 from the back and said gently: lz (lan zhan) I’m tired, can you go slower

🦁 waved him away and yelled: Xz!!! I’m not lwj now!

After that, 🐰 froze in place in fright

It was the first time I saw 🦁 so angry

🦁 can you not wear it?

🐰 it’s combination

🦁 then you change the combination!!!!

🧔‍♂️👱‍♀️: ….

🐰 wyb be obedient

🦁 no!!!

🐰 then whispered smth to 🦁 and he agreed to everything

And another rumor from being a hero filming:

When car flipped (as we remember it wasnt 100% planned and yb didn’t have a double + had high fever)

Staff complained to 🐰 again, 🐰 didn’t scold him, just came on set as soon as he could and said: wyb, you are person with two lives now, do you realize it?

When he was filming at Being a Hero he got sick

But didn’t tell 🐰

Staff told 🐰 anyways and he called 🦁 and asked: you heart doesn’t have a place for me anymore?

🐰 go have fun there! But be careful

🐰 it’s very tasty there~

🦁 I will buy it for you, what else do you want?

🐰 nothing else, don’t spend money for nothing

🦁 gifts for you is not spending money for nothing

🦁 I will take photo for you, you choose

🦁 loves noodle which 🐰 cooks for him. Once 🐰 came to visit 🦁 on set. And brought portion for 🦁 and lg (lele I guess)

Then 🦁 made very loud eating noises, was eating with big pleasure, didn’t say a word. Lg laughed and teased him: don’t wanna add more vinegar?

🐰 looked at 🦁 with admiration and his smile was so gentle

🧔‍♂️ wls your facial expression is terrible

🦁 (doesn’t answer)

🧔‍♂️ argued with xls?

🦁 I can’t argue with him

🦁 he doesn’t even play with his favorite switch now!

🧔‍♂️ ?

🦁 he is turning into Guo Jing….

The dialog that moved my heart during cql filming:

🦁 I don’t like my birthdays

🐰 if I will be with you, will you feel less lonely?

🦁 take it with you

🐰 no need~

🦁 even though it doesn’t work as good as me, but it will help you fall asleep

🐰 do you have any shame?! Wyb

One friend gave 🐰 a jar with nutritious water. With this jar you can grow some flowers and plants. 🐰 said once that he wants to grow smth but he can’t bcs he is always away and flowers and plants need water and fertilizers. But this jar you can just leave plants for half year without doing anything. 🐰 was very happy but didn’t plant flowers but coriander since 🦁 loves it

🐰 shared once that 🦁 got scared at night for some reason so he had to hug him for so long until he calm down

Xz 🐰 has long hair now, so he has a habit to touch them (fingering his hairs)

Once during video call 🐰 started to play with his little ponytail

🦁 said immediately: wow! Zg it’s so sexy

And whistled like neighborhood hooligan 🤣🤣

🦁: I’ll buy new for you

🐰: the old one is still working, no need to spend

🦁: it’s not spending, I will use old one

🐰: then you will have to say the same words, when you gifted that one

🦁: *blushed

“When you watch one and only you will understand why 🦁 always pretends to be pitiful with 🐰. It’s just a proven method. You’ll realize”

🦁 can I go?

🦁 say 😩

🐰 if you wanna go just go

🦁 I will not go if you say not to go🥺

🐰 so obedient?

🦁: en 🥰

🐰 let’s go together then~ 😘

Remember when Xz was going back to bj after sg

Many people were saying that he was a bit absent minded, he even took fans letter even though he don’t take anything from anyone for years

He really was a bit blanked

Found out that yb was sick again🥹🥹 and he got info from ybs staff that he has fever

🐰: wyb, I want milk tea

🦁: what milk tea? I will buy you on my way

🐰: the cup of milk BoBo taro tea, without taro, without milk tea

(Silence)

🦁: goose laugh

Okaaay~ wait me 🥰🥳

The staff: yb likes to skate in halls, but the air conditioning is too cold and once he was skating with very little clothes on. Lele came to him, gave phone. I thought he is filming himself, but then I’ve heard: wang Yibo, why you have so little clothes on! I’m not there, who you trying to seduce

🤣

They haven’t seen each other for some time, decided to see each other at home

But🦁 ✈️ got delayed. So they couldn’t see each other, 🐰 needed to go

Before leaving, 🐰 cooked gnocchi for 🦁 and left at home

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think  this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that. 

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess. 

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky. 

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the  other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain  power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it. 

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was  physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible  when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this.  And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about  Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming 

[fairyhee]

"dare."

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

...

Hi, this is the 1st thing I've written, ever. I just had this scenario in my mind for a while and I finally decided to give writing it a go, so I ended up with this. I left the name blank so you can imagine whoever you want (but I thought of Oneus Keonhee while writing it). Let me know if you enjoy it!

✨Optional bias

💘Smut / a bit of fluff I guess?

✨Word count: around 2k

...

Playing truth or dare with people you barely knew wasn't exactly your choice of activity in a normal setting, but the cute guy that had been smiling at you so sweetly every time your eyes landed on each other, and the few vodka cranberry cocktails you had downed earlier had made you change your mind. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it seemed like the whole room lit up whenever he laughed, and boy he did that a lot.

...

It was your popular friend's birthday, and they were throwing the usual party at their apartment, that was now full of people you mostly had never seen before. Given the situation, you tried to stick to the people you knew, but that wasn't possible at all times, so you'd have to interact with strangers sooner or later.

You were in the kitchen grabbing something to drink while your friend was at the bathroom. Concentrated on mixing your vodka, you didn't react when you noticed someone else entering the room, but you were soon surprised by a loud and cheerful voice.

"oh! Are you my outfit twin for tonight?"

As you raised your head in confusion, you realized what he was talking about. You two were wearing the exact same style. Leather pants, check. White button up, check. Combat boots, check. You stood there for a few seconds smiling like idiots and staring at each other in disbelief, just like that one Spiderman meme. When you finally snapped out of it, you burst into laughter.

"nice sense of fashion you got there" you said.

"I could say the same about you. What are you drinking?"

"vodka cranberry. Want me to pour you some?"

"sure. I'm _____, by the way"

And that seemed to be the start of a very promising evening. His laugh made your heart flutter from the first encounter. In fact, his entire presence was so breathtaking that it made you flustered, and you were grateful for his cheerfulness, as it helped you overcome this newfound shyness. The fact that your fashion sense seemed to match perfectly was just the cherry on top.

Before your friend could return from the bathroom, you were already vibing to the music with your new acquaintance, as you seemed to both like the upbeat songs that could be heard from the living room. You thought it was incredible how he knew so many choreos, and even when he didn't, he still danced. The both of you didn't sit down for the whole evening, even though every now and then you both returned to your own friends to not neglect them completely. Whenever a good song came on, you would eye each other from opposite corners of the room and do your dance moves from afar and laugh.

What you loved most about it was how comfortable he made you feel, how he wasn't just trying to grind on you like other guys would, but you were just enjoying the music and each other's presence. For some songs you could be silly together and laugh, for some he was just flexing his dance skills while you cheered on him, and for others, you got a bit closer, and it felt like there might be a little more going on between you. You saw the way he was looking at your curves, and you could definitely feel his gaze burning into you when you danced, though he never touched you or tried to make a move. Was he not interested? Was it all in your head, or was he shy? You hoped it was the latter.

As it started getting late and people started leaving or being too tired to dance, the host suggested all the remaining people to sit down in a circle and play truth or dare. If you didn't want to accept the dare or answer the question that was given, you would have to take a shot. You hadn't played this game since middle school, when all the dares were to kiss someone, so you wondered how this would turn out.

Your new friend had sat down right across from you, so he could easily see all of your reactions. The questions or dares were set by the person to the right, which meant that your friend would choose for you. You would rather avoid any embarrassing questions from her, so you chose dare.

"do you remember that sexy dance routine that you learned but never showed anyone because you were embarrassed? I dare you to do it here."

You hadn't seen this coming, but you took it as a chance to showcase what you've been practicing secretly. Gathering all the confidence you had in you, you danced with all your might and tried to make it as sensual as possible. You couldn't help glancing at that cute boy from time to time, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him watching closely, practically devouring you with his eyes, which only added more fuel to your fire. You earned a round of applause for your little performance, and a few spicy remarks from your friends who were shocked by this new side of you, but your mind was focusing on someone else.

After a few more people who chose truth to avoid doing something embarrassing, it was finally his turn.

"dare."

Finally, a fun choice, you thought to yourself.

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

As soon as he accepted, your heart skipped a beat. You would lie if you said it wouldn't sting a little to see him have his 7 minutes with someone else. You tried to read his facial expressions and he seemed excited about it, but you could only hope he wasnt excited about doing this with someone else in the room. Even though it wasn't your right to feel this way, there was nothing between the two of you, but you couldn't help yourself. As he spun the empty bottle, it felt like your head was spinning along with it. You tried talking nonsense to your friend in hopes you'll get distracted and get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but your eyes were still glued on that bottle...

And it stopped pointing towards you.

You weren't sure how you two got up and into the room next to the one everyone else was in, and closed the door. Your mind was clouded but you weren't so sure it was the alcohol anymore. You leaned your back against the door and checked for his reaction to what was happening.

"so.... Are you satisfied with the result, or did you want it to be someone else?"

He smiled and slowly closed the distance between you.

"what do you think? I don't think I could've been more obvious about it. I couldn't keep my eyes off you all night."

You let out a laugh.

"and here I was, thinking you were just being nice."

You guessed your comment had made him think you weren't interested, because suddenly turned serious.

"are you okay with this? Because if not, we can just talk-"

"we only have 7 minutes. I think you can do better things with that mouth than just talk."

His eyebrow rose at your sudden change of attitude, and his lips turned into a smirk. His eyes didn't leave yours for even a single second.

"looks like we're gonna have to do something about that attitude of yours"

He barely finished his sentence and crashed his lips onto yours. He kissed you hungrily as you felt a sudden heat taking over your entire body. His body pressed you against the door and his hands started caressing over your curves, while he kissed your neck. It's like he already knew what your soft spot was... His wet lips sent chills all over your spine, and it made you claw at his clothed back. He moaned into the kiss, so you sneaked your hands under his shirt to gently scratch his bare back this time. This made him buck his hips into you and let out a louder moan, and you could feel how hard he was because of you. He was quite obvious about his slight pain kink, and you loved it.

You could do this all night, but by now there were probably only around five minutes left.

He must have realized this as well. You weren't sure how far you planned to go with this but surely you didn't want to stop there, so you didn't protest as he slipped his hand into the front of your leather pants and into your now soaked panties.

You whined as his fingers easily swiped across your wet folds and touched all the right spots, before focusing on the part where you wanted him the most. As he lightly teased your entrance with his long index finger, he suddenly spoke again.

"should I go on?"

You could barely breathe at this point, but appreciated his concern.

"please, don't stop."

That was all he needed. He pushed one finger inside of you, while his thumb was drawing circles across your bundle of nerves. The sensation was already so good you were seeing stars, but when he added a second finger you had to hold onto him for dear life, because your legs were shaking so much from all the pleasure. Arguably, his facial expression was making the whole thing ten times better. He looked more turned on than you'd imagined, considering you weren't doing anything to him. He looked so hot, you were just melting under his gaze and touch.

As you got closer to reaching your high, you snaked your hand into his hair and grabbed it, pulling him into a hungry kiss. His response to that was a deep groan, followed by him biting down onto your lips. He understood you were close, so he moved his lips to your side and whispered into your ear.

"you're so beautiful. Come for me, I wanna hear how good I make you feel."

You didn't need to be told twice. Rolling your eyes, you let out a series of whines as your orgasm took over you. You felt like you had just ascended to heaven, not caring about whether anyone could hear you anymore. As soon as you came down from your high, you were met with his burning gaze on you, and his sweet lips already forming a smile.

"wow, you know exactly what to say at the right moment, don't you" you said in a breathy tone.

He smiled.

"I meant it when I said you were beautiful. I'd do it again even if I got nothing in return."

His words got you all worked up once again. While he was finishing his sentence, you were already touching him lower and lower, wanting to repay the favor, but he gently grabbed your hands and pulled them away. He was still rock hard, and his leather pants weren't helping to hide how turned on he was, so why was he turning you down?

"As much as I'd like to continue, our 7 minutes have long passed. It must have been around half an hour now."

His words made you suddenly remember where you were. It felt like you had been under a spell which had now been undone.

"Half an hour???? God, I even forgot we were at a party." you said while flattening your clothes back into place. You wondered what he was gonna do to hide his hard-on, but you felt like you already did too much, so you just shut up.

"you good?" he asked with his hand on the knob.

"yeah, let's go."

As soon as he opened the door, you were met with complete silence. It looked like the few remaining people had been completely worn out by the alcohol while you were gone, because most of them, including your friends, were passed out on the carpet or on the couch, while some of the others had left. Only now you realized how much time you had spent in there, but also that everyone might have purposely forgot to knock on the door when your 7 minutes were over. And you were thankful for that.

"so that's why it was so quiet" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"so, what now?"

He pretended to think for a few seconds, then looked you and smiled shyly.

"I got an idea... how about we drop by my place for a coffee? We can chat, or, maybe watch a movie if you'd like. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here, considering you just met me tonight."

You giggled.

"what are you being so shy for? Looks like you forgot what we were doing just a few minutes ago."

He avoided your gaze and his ears got so red, it made you wonder how can he switch from making you moan his name to blushing about it in only a few moments.

"I'd love to. Let's go."

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negan keeps a close eye on his ex Deena after learning that the man she is currently with has a history of abuse.]

Negan and Deena PART TWO

Smut/drama/TW:physical abuse

"What do you wanna know about Michael?" Simon asked a bit confused as they stepped into his apartment.

"Everything. Anything you know."

"Well shit-" Simon scratched his head trying to make himself remember anything about this man on the spot.

"I dont know, I met him like a decade ago. I'd always see him at the Jackson bar on Friday nights. I dont think he has any kids. He used to date this one girl for a while but I dont know what happened with her. We used to hear rumors but-"

"What rumors?"

"I-I dont think they were true but-"

"What fucking rumors?"

"Some people used to say he'd smack his girlfriend around but I dont know man, I never saw any proof."

Negan knit his brow giving Simon a death stare.

"And you didnt think to tell me this after I told you the mother of my child was with this man?"

"Negan I-" before Simon could finish Negan grabbed him by the collar and gave him a hard shake.

"You didnt think to tell me my woman could be with someone dangerous!"

"Your woman? Negan I swear I didnt remember." Negan didnt respond staring at him for a moment before finally letting him go and taking a deep breath.

"What happened, did he do something to Deena?"

Negan sat down and ran his hands over his face in frustration.

"She wont tell me but I know something is not right."

"Shes not going to tell you, remember you're an asshole in her eyes so I doubt she'd tell you even if something was wrong." Simon lit up a cigarette leaning back on his chair.

"Listen, I may be an asshole but I never fucking touched Deena. I never lay a hand on her." Negans knee was shaking as he sat back and thought of what the truth could be, Simon had never seen him this concerned.

"Hey man, maybe its not even like that. You cant bombard her with it, you know how she is. She'll shut down. Just give it time, if something else looks weird, act on it but till then just wait cause we really dont know."

Negan knew Simon was right in a way. Deena wouldnt admit it even if it was true and he didnt have solid evidence.

Instead Negan was going to make it a habit now to show up more often to see Jack. Of course during his visits with Jack he'd make sure you were ok without asking you anything. He would just keep a closer eye on you.

As he planned, Negan showed up more throughout the week to see Jack. Everytime he had been there Michael wasnt there, yet he still noticed you keep to yourself more than usual. Of course you had to keep to yourself more, you didn't want to upset Michael again. Part of you knew your feelings were still strong for Negan but you didnt want to acknowledge it because of how much he had hurt you. Michael was someone new who you convinced to yourself wasnt that bad. You did call him another mans name, part of you was almost making yourself believe it was your fault what occured. Michael hadn't touched you since, as long as you didnt upset him you were fine is what you would tell yourself.

Negan was in the living room with Jack while you began cooking dinner for when Michael would arrive. You could hear Negan being playful with Jack, it was a sweet sound that made your heart flutter.

Negan sighed putting the baby down in his playpen before looking towards the kitchen. He walked in as you stirred the food, leaning his shoulder on the doorway watching you quietly cook.

"You look beautiful."

Your heart immediately began to race, trying not to put much thought to it or even look his way, you smiled.

"Thank you."

Negan slowly walked in to the kitchen looking around. He noticed some things had been changed from where you originally had them. He noticed something sitting beside the food pantry he hadn't noticed before.

"What's this?" Negan asked opening the box to find a stack of tools.

"Wait, Negan-" you ran to him taking the tool from his hand and putting it back in the box carefully.

"This is Michael's and he doesnt like it to be touched." Negans face quickly changed noticing how nervously you reacted.

"What does he live here now?"

"No. He just has some things here. That's all, just don't touch it please. Hes really picky with his things."

You walked back to the pot of food that was almost done cooking as Negan crossed his arms not taking his eyes off you. He had never seen you act this way before.

"You must really like this guy huh?" He asked just to see your reaction, he knew there was something more making you act this way.

"Mhm." You responded without making eye contact.

"Mhm." Negan pressed his lips together before you were both interrupted by the sound of the door unlocking.

"That must be Michael now."

"He has the fucking keys? Since when?"

"Negan please. I just gave it to him for today since I thought I was going to be alone with Jack." You quickly walked out to greet Michael at the door. The more Negan realized things, the more angrier he became. This man was trying to claim all of this as his. He was trying to gain a power over you and you couldnt see it.

Negan walked out of the kitchen to catch Michael with his lips on yours. Negan right away got a bad taste in his mouth at the sight before Michael looked up at him.

"Negan. I didnt know you were here."

"Yeah. Came by to check on my son and Deena. Have to make sure shes ok here by herself with him."

"Oh I'm sure I have a good watch on that." Michael quickly responded.

"Yeah well an extra eye doesnt hurt." Negan grinned trying to keep himself composed. The silence that followed made you anxious and uncomfortable.

"So are you ready for dinner?"

"Yes!" Both men eagerly responded at the same time, making you more anxious. It was clear these men did not like each other and had no problem in showing it.

Negan watched as Michael sat and let you serve him. He could tell you were nervous as you served his plate, of course you were. You had not expected Negan to stay for dinner.

"Thank you, baby." Michael said loudly as you turned to walk towards Negan with the food when he suddenly spanked your ass hard making you gasp. Negan grabbed his knee under the table hard, he knew Michael was doing this to purposely piss him off and boy was it working. As you were about to serve Negan he stood up and grabbed the pot of food from you.

"I got it, Dee. Sit down, shit you been on your feet all day."

"Dee? I've never heard anyone call her Dee." Michael cleared his throat looking up at Negan with a raised brow. Michael clearly didnt like the sound of the little nickname Negan had for you.

"Only I do. Old habit." Negan knew what he was doing and if Michael wanted to get under his skin, he knew how to get under his too. Taking a deep breath you sat down next to Jack, making sure he was comfortable in his high chair and began to eat. There was silence for a moment until Michael noticed the lid on his box of tools was not left the way he had left it the day before.

"What happened with my tool box?" Michael's question instantly made you nervous.

"Oh I-"

"That was me." Negan interrupted not liking the tone in his voice when he spoke to you.

"You let Negan touch my tool box?"

"She didnt let me touch anything. I thought it was something I had left here so I went to take a look." Negan responded confidently.

"I dont know why you would think anything here belongs to you, you dont live here."

"As far as I'm concerned, neither do you." Negan shot back.

"Ok stop." You spoke hesitantly as the men stared at each other angrily.

"Can we just enjoy dinner?"

The rest of the dinner was silent, you didn't make eye contact with either of the men. Negan stood up and was soon getting ready to leave. He leaned in beside you to give Jack a kiss. You could smell his scent close to you, Michael quietly stared at you as you stared down at your plate of food.

"Let me know if you need anything, Deena." You heard his voice close to your ear.

Negan walked out not liking the idea of him leaving you alone with Michael. In reality, what could he do without you acknowledging anything or him having proof? He would just look like a jealous man, which he could admit jealous he was. Negan left and you could feel Michael's eyes on you.

"I trust you to not let your ex touch my belongings or disrespect me."

"I told him not to touch it, Michael. I really did."

"Dont." He slammed his fist on the table making you jump. Jack began to cry making you quickly pull him out of his high chair and comfort him.

"Dont lie to me, Deena."

"Michael stop it. Im not lying to you and you're scaring Jack. You can leave." Surpsingly feeling a rush of courage when it came to Jack, you stood up with him in your arms and began to walk out the room until he unexpectedly grabbed your arm. You froze as he squeezed you and stood up staring down at you.

"Watch how you talk to me, baby."

"I said..you can leave." You felt yourself shaking as you stood your ground.

"Alright. You want me to leave? I'll leave." Michael responded calmly, a little too calm for comfort. He turned around and began to walk away making you let our a deep breath of relief when suddenly he turned around and smacked you across the face. You yelped as you fell hard to the floor holding Jack as tight as you could. Blocking his head from hitting anything you slammed your head on the bottom kitchen cabinet.

"Now I'll leave. You see what you do to yourself." Michael walked out slamming the door loudly as Jack cried loudly. Tears streaming down your eyes you cried with him.

"I'm so sorry." You whispered to Jack. Pushing yourself up off the floor you went to lock the door when Michael suddenly appeared again making you step back.

"Another thing, you tell Negan any of this I'll make sure you never see your son again. Remember my brother is a lawyer. He'll have you all fucked."

With those last words he walked out for a second time. Looking over at the table by the door you were relieved to see he had left the keys. Immediately you locked it, even clicking the bolt into place. Upset you walked up the stairs to run Jack a warm bath and calm him down. All you wanted was to call Negan to come over in that moment.

You took Jack a bath and put him to bed when you realized you had a text from Negan.

"Is jackass still around?" He texted making you chuckle softly.

"No. Alone now, baby just went to sleep." You responded in a text when suddenly you heard your phone begin to ring but when you checked, it wasnt a phone call.

Negan wanted to video call you. Your heart skipped a beat, he had never done this. What the hell was making him do it now.

You picked up the video call and found him staring very serious at the screen, he also look a bit tired.

"Figuring out your phone huh?" You teased.

"I wanted to see you." You watched as Negans eyes roamed over the screen taking a good look at you. Negan was doing everything he could to have a closer eye on you without you realizing it.

"Well you're seeing me." You responded with a smile but Negan could tell the smile didnt reach your eyes.

"I'm surprised the asshole didnt stay the night." Quickly, he saw you look away from the camera turning to the side. Looking to keep yourself occupied with something.

"Its fine. I wanted to be alone anyways."

"Guess he didn't like me being there for dinner." Negan chuckled to himself.

"He doesnt like alot of things." You muttered low.

"What do you see in that asshole, Deena?"

His sudden question caught you off guard but you didnt know how to respond.

"I know I wasnt the greatest to you but I see you with this guy and you're not you."

You stayed looking away from the camera as Negan quietly stared at you.

"Can we talk about something else?"

Negan heard a crack in your voice as you brushed your hand through your hair.

"What happened after I left, Deena?"

"Nothing happend after you-" cutting yourself off you looked up having heard a thump. Negan frowned wondering what caught your attention.

"What is it?"

You didnt respond as you slowly stood up and walked out of the room quickly checking on Jack. Thankfully he was fine and the main door was still locked. You sighed a breath of relief before getting back into your room and realizing you were becoming paranoid.

"I thought I heard something, it was just me." Negan could tell something was worrying you but you didnt want to admit what it was.

"You want me to come over, just to make sure everything is fine around the house?"

His offer made you quickly look back at him with some sort of relief in your eyes.

"I mean yes, maybe check the attic. Could be a pipe." You lied and he knew it. In all honesty you were just afraid with what had just happened with Michael. You felt paranoid about him showing up unexpectedly. Negan played along just wanting you to be comfortable and made his way to you. It was around ten at night, Negan never came over this late but you didnt mind it.Relieved to see Negan when you opened the door you let him in and quickly locked the door from top to bottom. You turned to find him staring at you strangely.

"Since when have you been using the bolt?"

Negan had placed the bolt for you a few years back but with all the locks on the door you had never used it. You never found it necessary.

"A habit I have now." You chuckled low as you walked past him. It did make you nervous that Negan was in your home, what if Michael found out in some kind of way? The thought of Michael turned your stomach.

"What did you want me to check out, doll?"

"Oh yeah, the attic. Maybe I heard the noise coming from there." Negan never seeming to be afraid of the unknown, pulled the ladder down and walked right up. It was hard not to admit to yourself that besides the differences you both have had, you could always count on him whenever you needed him.

"Just like I thought! Theres nothing up here." He yelled from the attic.

"You sure?"

"Shit, come see for yourself."

Negan chuckled as he came back down the ladder, you had always been afraid to go up to the attic alone.

"I know I heard something." You whispered as he made his way to you and leaned his face in close.

"You sure, sweetcheeks?" He teased making you chuckle. Negan loved teasing you, he always liked seeing you laugh.

"Oh stop." You playfully shoved him which only made him bounce back closer to you. The two of you stopped for a moment and stared into each others eyes. The thought of that kiss he gave you the last time made you shiver inside. But before he could reach in and kiss you, you quickly turned away. The strong pull you felt to him couldnt be denied but Michael...the thought of that man terrified you.

"Do you want a snack, I want a snack. I'll make us something quick." Negan watched as you flew down the stairs and scoffed shaking his head. He knew you wanted him just as bad.

As you reached into the cabinet Negan walked into the kitchen and leaned on the door way. You could feel his eyes on you, devouring you from head to toe.

"I know you dont give a shit about this guy." Negan spoke confidently as he slowly made his way to you. You didn't say a word knowing you couldnt react to him, thinking of the threat Michael made, you couldn't risk it.

"Fuck, Deena why do you let him control you like this?" Negan asked making you turn to him. He knew that would make you react which is what he wanted.

"He doesn't control me so quit assuming things."

"So then kiss me." He grinned as get got closer to you making you back up into corner.

"So what you're telling me to do is cheat on him."

"Oh is that what I said?" Negan chuckled with sarcasm.

"Figures you know, since you know so much about cheating yourself." You responded back with double the sarcasm making him laugh. You rolled your eyes pushing him aside but he blocked you with his arm. His expression suddenly turning more serious, he stared down at you not letting you pass him. His look was making you weak, your lips parted looking at his. You knew this wasn't right but the closer he got the more irresistible he became.

"I'm not going to kiss you." You whispered sounding anything but confident.

"Oh yeah? You sure about that?" He whispered in return wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you against him making you gasp.

"Now what was that you said, sweetheart?"

You were now speechless, how can you resist this man? You never stopped wanting him and he never had stopped wanting you. He leaned in and you instantly melted at the feel of his warm lips on yours. He felt your body fall into his as he passionately kissed you. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck as he grabbed your ass with both hands.

"Negan..." you whispered into his lips.

"Hm? Tell me what you want, doll." He spoke slowly and erotically. Each word pulling at your heart strings.

"I want you." You whispered feeling him squeeze you harder when he suddenly lifted you up and sat you on the kitchen counter. You could hear him unbuckling his belt as he kissed you, his hands brushing up your thighs and pulling down your shorts and underwear. Your heart was racing. You swore this would never happen again but you didnt want him to stop. He pulled back for a moment and looked at you as he pulled you towards the edge of the counter. Negan wanted you to look directly at him as he entered you. Your arms and legs were wrapped around him as he pushed in forward, the both of you moaned simultaneously at the first feel of each other. It had been too long since he felt you and he didnt know how long he could control himself before exploding.

"Holy fuck." Negan muttered as he got into rythm. Aggresivly pulling off his shirt he threw it across the room. You moaned loudly as Negan broke out in a sweat, it took alot of him not to burst with each moan you let out. You screamed as you leaned your head back against the wall, fully exposing your neck. Negan wrapped one hand around your throat and gave you a hard squeeze as he moved faster. You squealed as he used the same hand to now grab your hair pulling it back hard.

"Negan!" You grabbed onto him tightly, the sound of your voice helpless calling for him made it hard for him to control himself any longer.

"Fuck, Deena- I cant fucking hold it-" before he could finish he groaned loudly letting himself explode within you. You moaned as he buried himself deeply, his body against yours. The two of you panting uncontrollably in each others arms.

"Negan." You whispered in a shakey voice before he pulled back and slowly pulled himself out.

"Fuck, I couldnt stop it." He spoke breathlessly falling back onto the chair behind him.

"You know how long I've been waiting for that." He chuckled making you laugh.

Jack had still been sleeping while you and Negan lay in bed under the covers. Your face on his chest as he rubbed your hair back gently. It was nice forgetting everything for just a moment until Negan rubbed over a certain part of your head making you lift your head up and wince.

"Ow."

"What's that?" Negan felt the bump on the back of your head and frowned. You knew the bump must've been from when you fell and hit your head on the cabinet. You weren't going to tell Negan this so you simply shrugged.

"I dont even know how that happened. These random bruises come out of nowhere. Dont you hate when that happens." You laughed nervously and lay your head back down. Negan stayed looking down at you not liking your response.

"You know you can tell me anything right, Dee?" You hesitantly lifted your head up and looked back at him.

"What would I need to tell you? What do you mean?" Negan didnt say a word for a moment but he knew he had to. He didnt know how you would react but he couldnt continue acting like he wasnt noticing certain things.

"What I mean is that ever since you began dating that fuck, Michael, you either have some new bruise or you're suddenly nervous with shit you never were nervous about before. I know you, Deena and you sure as fuck arent acting like yourself."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!" You stood up quickly putting on your robe making Negan roll his eyes, he knew you would get defensive.

"Dee-" Negan tried to speak sitting up in the bed but you wouldnt let him.

"I dont know who the hell is putting this shit in your mind but leave it alone. Nobody is doing anything to me."

"Listen, I'm not trying to pick a god damn fight for fucksake." Negan got up and began to get dressed.

"Yeah? Well you are! Why dont you mind your business."

"You are my fucking business!" Negan yelled so loudly you were surprised Jack hadn't woken up.

"You know what, get out! This is why I never wanted to sleep with you again-" Negan scoffed in return.

"I beg to differ, sweetheart. With the way you felt you been wanting that just as much as I have." You stared at him in silence holding back your tears, you were not going to let him make you admit the truth.

"Get out and do me a favor dont come back unless it's to pick up Jack." You stormed out of the room making your way down the stairs to the kitchen. Negan cursed at himself angrily, the last thing he wanted to do was fight with you.

"Goddamn women." He muttered low, but he knew he had to approach this matter differently.

In the kitchen you quietly made yourself tea hearing him come down the stairs. He slowly made his way inside and leaned back on the counter beside you but you wouldnt look his way.

"Did he threaten you?" Negan asked with his arms crossed looking at the ground. Feeling a knot in your throat you couldnt respond, your silence spoke for itself making Negan look over at you.

"That son of a-"

"Negan please."

"Tell me the truth, Deena. He fucking hits you doesnt he?" His voice was stern, his eyes darkened as he looked down at you.

"It was my fault, Negan-" you cried out as Negan turned and punched the concrete wall behind him. The anger in him rising rapidly, he didnt even feel the effect on his knuckles.

"I'll kill him! I swear to God I'll fucking kill him."

"Negan, please you cant tell him anything. Please..."

"Oh for fuck sake, Deena! What the fuck does he have over you?! What is he threatening you with?!"

Negan stared down at you silently, his breathing was heavy, he studied the look in your eyes when it suddenly clicked.

"Jack." He whispered and all he saw was red. Negan quickly charged for the front door as you ran after him catching up before he could leave, you blocked the entrance.

"Negan, please you're not listening!" You cried.

"Oh I'm fucking listening, hes using our son to keep you shut. I'd like to see him try something-"

"Negan his brother is a lawyer. He threatened if I told you anything he'd make sure they'd take Jack away from me. Please, I beg you. I beg you, dont do or say anything. He doesnt do anything as long as I do what he says-"

"Do you fucking hear yourself, Dee?! As long as you do what he says? Who the fuck is he?! I know I was never an easy man to deal with but I never, ever put my god damn hands on you! Ever!" Negan turned red as he yelled, a vein pulsating hard in his neck appeared. You quietly cried before suddenly hearing Jack begin to cry upstairs. Negan sighed looking down, his fists balled up at his sides.

"Just promise me you wont say anything. Promise me."

"Ok." Negan stood aside letting you get past him to run up the stairs and check on Jack. He could hear you singing to him and ran his hands through his hair. He had never been so frustrated by a situation. He knew you were terrified for yourself and Jack and he hated that he felt like he couldnt do anything.

The next few weeks flew by peacefully, your cousin had come into town so she had been staying with you every day. With her around Michael never did anything to you. Negan knew you were safe for the time being but hated knowing Michael was still with you. You had never felt more confused, you loved Negan..you knew you did. The two of you hadn't even spoken about what happened between the two of you at all. Yet, you couldnt stop thinking about it. Jack's birthday was coming up the next day, you couldnt believe he was turning three. As excited as you were the thought of having Michael and Negan together in the same room for the first time since that night made your stomach turn. It made your stomach turn so much you actually began to feel nauseous. Brushing off the nausea, the sound of the doorbell went off and you knew it was Negan.

"Hi." You smiled as you stepped back and let him come in with a bunch of balloons.

"I picked up all these damn balloons, the cake and tomorrow I just gotta get the food." You laughed as Negan struggled with decorations and lay them out on the table.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

Once he had everything set, he turned to you and couldn't help letting his eyes roam from your head to your toes.

"Looking good, Dee."

You blushed feeling your cousins eyes fall on you in confusion. Negan winked at you before turning to Jack and got right on the floor with him and began playing with him.

"Looking good, Dee." Your cousin muttered beside you, making fun of what she has just witnessed.

"Cut it out, Louise."

"What was that all about, he looked like he totally undressed you with his eyes." She continued making you sigh when you the wave of nausea struck you again.

This time it didnt go away and you found yourself running across the living room to the bathroom. Negan looked up with a frown then looked over to Louise as she stared in even more confusion.

"Stay with Jack." Negan pushed himself up and made his way to the bathroom door, knocking gently.

"Deena? You ok?" He could hear you continuing to throw up before you finally flushed. A few minutes later you stepped out of the bathroom looking pale and weak.

"I think it was something I ate." You whispered rubbing your head.

"Come on, let's get you to sit back."

Negan guided you by your arm to the living room when you found Louise opening the door for Michael. You froze in your steps as Negans expression quickly changed.

"Negan, what a surprise."

Negans lip twitched as Michael's eyes drifted to him holding your arm.

"Oh I wasnt feeling good-"

"So I was making sure she could make it back to the couch safely." Negan interrupted in a calm yet cold tone.

"Well I'm sure I can take over now that-"

"I got her." Negan shot back sternly.

"Its ok, Negan. I feel fine, Louise is here with me too."

"Yeah I got her, Negan." Louise agreed.

Michael and Negan didnt say a word to each other as Louise took your arm and led you to the couch. Negan walked out angrily not liking to feel out of control with this situation. You knew tomorrow would be a whole other roller coaster of emotions. It would be Jack's birthday celebration, it was already the 8th. Your heart sunk realizing what you had just thought to yourself. How could you be so stupid?

It was already the 8th and you realized you were four days late on your period.

The rest of the day you felt fine physically but you worried like never before. You knew you had a extra pregnancy test hidden in your drawer somewhere that you would take as soon as Michael would leave. When he did finally leave you asked Louise to stay with Jack while you hid in the bathroom to take the rest.

"Please don't be positive, please dont be positive." You continued to whisper repeatedly when it was time for you to look at the test and your mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God.."

It was positive.

Obviously, you knew it was Negans not having had sex with Michael in the last few weeks. Louise called out for you and you quickly hid the test and the box under your shirt and ran down stairs. Throwing out any of the evidence and without saying a word put Jack to sleep for the night.

The next day you got dressed up in a nice blue sundress for Jack's birthday. It was a very small gathering and you were excited to make this memory for Jack. Looking at yourself in the mirror you finished you make up and took a deep breath before heading out of your room. The decorations had been placed nicely in the living room. Michael was in the kitchen while Louise finished setting up the balloons. You had no idea that while Michael was in the kitchen he had discovered the box the pregnancy test came out of my accident as he was taking out the garbage.

"Deena! Can you come to the kitchen for second?" Michael called out for you as you played with Jack in the living room. You left him on the floor with Louise as you entered the kitchen with a smile excited for the day before realizing what you were walking into. Michael stood by the counter with the box of your pregnancy test in hand. The expression on your face instantly changing, you felt yourself having trouble to breathe.

"Wh-where did you get that..?"

"Oh right from your garbage can, baby." His face looked demented, he looked like a ticking bomb.

"Michael....let me explain.." you whispered as he made his way closer to you.

"Let you explain? Go ahead, explain." Michael threw the box on the table making a glass cup fall and shatter on the floor. Louise heard the noise and looked up before being distracted by the door.

It was Negan.

Louise opened the door for Negan as he came in excitedly picking his son up and wishing him a happy birthday.

"You're a big boy now, three years old." Negan grinned when he suddenly heard Michael yelling. He looked towards the kitchen door then back at Louise with a raised brow.

"I dont know." She whispered with a shrug.

"Michael please!" Negan heard you yell making him quickly give the baby to Louise and charge to the kitchen. When Negan pushed open the door he found Michael grabbing you by your hair before pushing you to the floor. You screamed before looking back and noticing Negan at the door. His eyes filled with rage, you stood up and ran to him blocking him before he could do anything.

"Negan wait- it's not what it looks like."

"Oh yeah, Deena why dont you show Negan here what it looks like huh?"

"Please, Negan just go-"

"Get out of the kitchen, Deena. I've been waiting for this shit." Negan didnt take his eyes off Michael across the room.

"Negan please, listen to me. Look at me."

"Yeah please, look at her before I have to make her shut the hell up."

"Negan!" You squealed when he suddenly pushed you behind him and charged towards Michael.

"Come on asshole, I'll give you a fair fight." Negan threw the chair that was in front of him across the room before he finally reached Michael and the two men began to fight. Both men trying to put each other in head locks as they ran into everything around them, knocking everything to the floor.

"Deena get the hell out of here!"

You stood in shock against the door way watching as Negan knocked Michael off his feet.

"Yeah...wouldnt want an unfortunate accident to happen to a pregnant woman." Michael grunted as Negan held him down before realizing what he said. Negan looked up at you in disbelief before quickly looking back down at Michael.

"Wouldnt want anything happening to that baby." He continued to taunt before Negan collided his fist with Michael's face.

"Say something stupid again, I fucking dare you. Trust me asshole, I got alot more where that came from." He looked directly into Michael's eyes but before he could utter another word, Negan punched him again. Louise had put the baby in his crib and called 911 from hearing all the commotion. She came into the kitchen and gasped at the site of the entire kitchen a mess. The rush of emotions and morning sickness started to take over you. You felt yourself tipping over to the side before bumping into Louise.

"Deena are you okay?" She yelled making Negan look up to find you struggling to stand straight.

"Louise sit her down." Negan instructed without letting go of Michael. Michael scoffed with blood pouring out of his mouth when soon you heard the sound of the cops at the door.

"My brother will handle all of you."

"Youre brother can choke on my dick." Negan squeezed down harder on Michael's neck. The police quickly entered the house and detained Michael who kept yelling at all of you as they dragged him out. Negan rushed to you, grabbing a chair and sitting down right in front of you. You instantly noticed his bloody and bruised knuckles.

"Sir, do you need us to take a look at that?" A paramedic asked Negan.

"No, this is fine-" he shook his hand not worried of any injury.

"I need you to check her." Negan motioned towards you but you quickly shook your head.

"I'm fine, I'm just dehydrated-.

"And pregnant." Negan interrupted.

"You're pregnant?! What!" Louise screamed with excitement making you chuckle. Negan himself couldnt help but smirk a bit.

"Yes, Louise. Wait-wheres Jack?" You looked around as your heart began to race.

"Hes upstairs sleeping, hes fine. Dont worry, Deena." She hugged you as Negan stayed holding your hand. "You're going to need to get a restraining order on that guy if hes bailed out. You cant be here alone with the baby, and pregnant with that mad man knowing where you live."

"Oh she wont be alone, I can promise you that."

Negan meant every word he said, he was never going to risk losing you again.

If you have ideas for a part 3 if youd like one let me know? Not sure where to go after this or if I should continue at all.

[bunnihearted]

men really think women get "help" when we're sexually assaulted HA FUCKING HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA FUCKING AHHSHAHSHAHAHHAHAHA i cant breatheeeeee i have to laugh. "help" means getting an invasive procedure that feels like another rape done on you to prove you've been raped because our word isn't good enough. it's sitting for hours several days in a small room with police officers, repeating every gory detail of the assault. it's maybe sitting in court for hours for weeks for months for years, again and again reliving the rape and having to do it in front of multiple strangers just to in the end, hear your rapist being freed bc it's "unfair to ruin a young man's future" like my future wasnt ruined the day he murdered my soul by invading my body. and this is if anyone even believes you. and most of them will look at you condescendingly because are you really telling the truth? and they will question you like you were the perpetrator raping yourself. what did you wear? did you in any way make him believe you were interested in him? did you behave in a way that made him believe you wanted sex with him? did you try to fight him? did you tell him to stop? did you scream for help? did you not actually consent if you didn't protest? the shame and fear and trauma are so palpable that you might not even want to report it when it wont matter in the end. when his friends will still be his friends, even if they all know he raped you - if they will even admit it, they will probably just deny it, or think it's fine. if you choose to not wanna retraumatize yourself infront of others for months, ppl will be disappointed and frustrated with you for not wanting to "fight". they'll yell at you, judge you and think you're stupid and weak and a coward. even if you tell them that most rapists aren't convicted & sentenced, and the ones who are get a few months in prison, and you dont feel like fighting for nothing, they tell you that you should try either way. then you're utterly traumatized and the only way to heal is to lay yourself completely bare in front of yet another stranger, tell this person about how you were desecrated and intruded, and that is incredibly awful and a horrible experience in itself. if you're not rich it can be really hard to find an actually capable therapist. but not only that, most women are scared, so scared of other men after. you dont know who would rape you, or when or how. the worst thing that could happen is that it happens again. but being scared of men is hard in itself, "nice guys" get upset and hurt that you're instinctively fearful of them bc they "havent done anything". if you request a female doctor or therapist or literally any worker, you're annoying and pedantic.

"women get help after they're raped". ha fucking ha. no not really. most women get murdered right after or during they're raped :) some women are forced to marry their rapist to save their family's honor :) some women are beaten to death by their relatives bc they've soiled their reputation :) most women are not believed and treated as the perpetrators :) most women are shamed and ridiculed :) all women are traumatized and forever changed :) many women have to live in fear bc their rapist is walking on free foot :)

anyway, we dont want "help" we want to not be raped :))

[steponmepinkjun]

hey sara! have you ever had a what i like to call "feminity crisis"? I am super confident in myself that i identify as a woman on the girly side, but sometimes being tall (especially for where i live) has me questioning the way i see myself.

i always wonder what my personality would be like if i wasnt often called "intimidating", "overpowering" and so on

when im alone i genuinely forget that im tall and can just be myself, but when im around people im constantly reminded that im not what i think i am in my head :(

im forever wondering when im gonna stop wishing i was smal and cute

So much to unpack here. I'm gonna be using gendered and very broad/general language because I'm in a rush, on mobile, and also lazy. I'm also gonna put it under a cut cause not everyone wants my musings on their dash lmfao

Simple answer being yes. I'm tall, I've got broad shoulders, I've always had a very loud and boisterous personality once I get comfortable, I've always been VERY opinionated and not cared who knows it. I've also been told all my life that I'm "intimidating," as a reason for why I have never attracted much romantic attention, as well as a reason I have a hard time making friends, or a reason that people don't like me.

But the thing is this. I am not intimidating. I am not rude or nasty or scary, I do not have "resting bitch face," it's not my job to perform happiness for others' comfort. There's nothing intimidating about my height or my broad shoulders or my loud voice, I just simply do not fit the pedophilic female ideal of tiny, dainty, quiet, submissive, hairless, and wrinkle free—I am not a child, and I am not a sex doll. Being smart, being opinionated, being loud, none of those things are bad. I am not "too much" just because I take up space, and neither are you. I exist, I deserve to be seen and heard, so do you. My femininity is not derived from making myself as small and unimposing as possible, neither is yours. If someone thinks I'm intimidating, it's not because I actually am—I'm not intimidating, they are intimidated. And that is their fuckin problem, not mine. People who aren't interested in pulling me down don't find me intimidating. They're not threatened by my greatness.

Anyone who makes you feel like you're too much is simply projecting their own issues into you. You don't have to make yourself smaller so that others can feel better. It's not your job to hold space for how others perceive you. And it's okay to be intimidating! Being small and soft and sweet is great, if that's what serves YOU, if that's YOUR truth, if that's YOUR reality—a lot of times we're led to believe that obliging other people above ourselves will grant us happiness, niceness, or acceptance, but whether that's true or not, I think there's often more reward in changing our world to benefit us, rather than changing ourselves to benefit the world. You don't need to be "small and cute" to be feminine. And fuck people who say differently. Who cares if you're tall as a skyscraper? You can be cute as you wanna be towering over me! My perception of you, or anyone else's, has no bearing on how much respect and love and kindness you deserve. No one gets to take from you so that they can have more.

As for wondering who you would be if you weren't always being undercut by others, you absolutely can access that person and cultivate them within yourself. Just little things like asking your true inner self what you want and need, and really listening, can help you start to make that shift. Anecdotal communication here, but I get that feeling—I sometimes wonder who I would be if I hadn't been bullied/punished out of all interests, hobbies, habits, coping mechanisms, self-soothing behaviors, etc at a very young age. The answer is that I don't know, but I'm not dead yet, so I can change that, I can align myself with things that serve me now. I can choose not to keep people around if they make me feel like shit, I can allow myself to access all the behaviors I was bullied out of with acceptance instead of shame, I can give myself the space and kindness I didn't get from others. And slowly you start to change and create more and more for joy, and less room for all the other bullshit. Your personality without always having shite chatted in your ear would probably be pretty similar to your personality now, just with less shame. Speak up and set boundaries. It's not easy, but it's as simple as saying, "Hey, I actually don't like having my height brought up as a negative, please refrain from doing that or using words like 'intimidating.' It makes me uncomfortable." Boom, clear boundary set. I tend to gently pull someone aside and go, "Hey, friend. I actually would really prefer if we could avoid conversations about dieting or weight when I'm around, okay?" Because if I don't tell them, they can't read my mind and just know that I don't like it—I have to give them the room to make corrections in the future, in a gentle and non-punishing way. They can choose to respect it and stay in my life, or they can relinquish their space in my life 🤷🏻‍♀️ If people disrespect my boundary, I'm just gonna leave the conversation. I'm walking away. If they can't commit to respecting that boundary, they're not my friend, and we don't need to interact. You can always become the person you wanna be. And hopefully, you'll find a way to exist as your authentic self without shame. ❤️

Also, honestly? Maybe buy some killer heels and stomp on people's toes more often 😂

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[yellowbluemoonshine]

BNHA's War Arc; Some Details & Parallels

I wanna talk about the things i noticed in recent chapters. 1st one is about how peroid of story keeps changing. 2nd one is about the details of Shigaraki vs Endeavour. 3rd one is about parallels between some characters.

1) Periods of the Story;

a) Beatifull Lie;

Start of the manga, everything seemed more black and white. Allmight, The Symbole of Peace was out there. Story mostly focused on hero kids‘s training like how it supposed to be, they need to go to school. Villains look like a monster, inhuman evil. We got small hints of the broken society but just hints. Flaws were always there, everywhere but story didnt focus on that. Everything seemed more brignht, like nothing really wrong with the society they living.

- Kids were going to school, having trainings (like soldiers)

- Deku and Bakugou’s relationship was pretty abusive. Deku was scared of him, Bakugou wasnt taking seriously of him.

- Mostly heroes got character developments, we meet with the hero sides.

Everything changed after Allmight vs AFO. We are definitely supposed to root for Allmight here. AFO being manipulative and trying to control the fight. Meanwhile, Allmight is trying to protect people. 

Even there is a chapter named “ending o the beginning, beginning of the end” means things are changing.

b) Ugly Truth;

ith the end of the Allmight, story gets darker. Villains became more sempathic, more human, we meet with them. And heard the story from them, different perspective. First time, someone who is not Deku told the story us. We got villains backstories. This time, we got arc that we are supposed to root for League. They didnt fight against heroes. We saw the flaws of society that already there.

- Government preapered the children for war and they gave their training early than it supposed to be, despite some teacher’s worrying about them.

- Deku and Bakugou’s relationship became better, compared to before.

- Mostly villains got characters developments

c) Wake up;

And we enter a new arc, this time, everything changed again.

- Government sent sudents to the war and at the first time

- Proheroes are acting like villains / they dont acting like heroes at all. Miruko killed noumus, victims of mad scicences with enjoy. Mic and Aizawa came here for revenge

- League is the victims (and heroes) of this arc.

And wonder how it will contunie.

2) Parallels between scenes;

In stories when two scenes or characters drawn similarly, we are meant to compare them. Both similarities and differences together. With those fights, story change to next period with Allmight’s ending and with war arc.

I will get a little deeper now, under the cut.

a) Allmight vs AFO & Shigaraki vs Endeavour;

In this both scene, there is no 1 hero vs no 1 villain fight. Allmight’s priority was protecting people, he literally go there to save Bakugou. And to save him, he had to fight AFO. Endeavour’s priority was to end Shigaraki.

Problem here is Shigaraki is someone like Deku, Eri, victim. Shigaraki is similar to Allmight even his childhood friends think like that when he was young. Shigaraki is so kind just like Allmight that he would take outcasts and giving them a place. Shigaraki is someone who saves people who wont saved by society, its his origin. This is opposite of AFO cause AFO is someone who takes advantage of people’s pain.

And Endeavour is a hero who beats villains, unlike Allmight who saves people. Also Endeavour is a child abuser just like AFO. They both used children for their selfish desires, power.

So Shigaraki is someone who is more like Allmight meanwhile Endeavour is someone who is more like AFO. Allmight vs Afo fight was pretty black and white. But this fight is more like a fight between a child who was abused his all life vs the man who abused his kids his all life. In Allmight vs AFO, Afo was the one who controlled the fight, he played with Allmight’s emotions. In this fight, Endeavour is the one who tries to control Shigaraki.

b) Some details about this fight;

Of course, Shigaraki is someone who needs to be stopped, they just cant let him kill people after all.

But the theme of Shigaraki’s story is that he needs to be saved.

The theme of Endeavour’s story is he needs to atone what he did in the past. But the way he treats to Shigaraki is still horrible.

1- Endeavour saw what Ujiko did to these people, they are both parallels, they both experiment of people for their selfish desires. But Endeavour, someone who was supposed to feel guilty for what he did to his family has no empathy for Ujiko’s victims.

2- Not just that Endeavour didnt even know that Shigaraki could fet heal after being burnt but he didnt even care that. He almost killed him. I read an analysis that hero license is basically a licensce that give you a permission to kill which seems true.

3- The way Endeavour put his hand on Shigaraki’s face is literally symbolism of child abuse, the violence used by adults towards to children.

4- Shigaraki’s burnt face is just like exactly Dabi, Endeavour’s son. Endeavour’s son “died”, exactly like this but Endeavour has no hesitate to burn another child who is exact same age as his children and who was abused just like his children.

This is exactly the reason that Endeavour looks like horrible villain while Shigaraki looks like hero.

It’s not just about Shigaraki, its about Endeavour. This is not the actions of the man who truly face what he did. The way Endeavour (and proheroes) treats towards Shigaraki is horrible.

Yeah, Shigaraki is someone who needs to be stopped, he is dangerous but heroes have every proof the confirm his victimhood but they completely ignore it and treats him as monster.

I understand that they lost friends and they need to be carefull but Aizawa...the teachers of ue students, the caretaker of Eri, the friend of Shirakumo...how can you blame Shigaraki for everything? For the sake of taking him down? Really? Shigaraki is no different from Eri and Shirakumo but he is the one who is blamed for everything. Even AFO or Ujiko werent treated like that.

People like AFO, Ujiko, hero comission, they kidnaps people, manipulate them, use them, turning them to a weapons for their own goals and they watch the show from far away. Their victims are the ones who are getting hurted and they get away it cause they are hiding behind of the stage. And proheroes only look at the stage, surface of the mountain.

The point here is i think we are not supposed to root for Endeavour or proheroes anymore, especially at this point cause everything changed and mixed.

3) Parallels between Characters;

a) Shigaraki and Eri;

Shigaraki and Eri have a lot of parallels but i am gonna talk a few parallels between them happenned in recent chapters.

They both chose to go to hell that created by their abusers cause they literally al they know, they are used to being hurt.

Heroes came for them. But to save Eri, destroy Shigaraki. Reason is Overhaul made weapons from Eri’s body but AFO turned Shigaraki to completely a weapon

They both needed to wrapped them. Mirio came and wrapp Eri up cause she was hurted, she needed to feel warm.

Meanwhile, heroes are not going to do this for Shigaraki so he does it by himself. The reason he stole hero cape is literally because he needed. He was cold and he needed to wrapped up.

b) Shigaraki and Pop;

This one is parallel between bnha and vigilantes.

They were both kidnapped. Tenko when he was young, Pop was kidnapped in a near time.

They are both brainwashed and victims of mad sciences.

They are both hurts people and harm things right now, there is something wrong with their head. Queen bee controls Pop’s head meanwhile Shigaraki’s abuser AFO (the man who is famious with how much he is good at manipulating people, the man who rebuild Shigaraki’s mindset since he was kid) literally controls him from inside.

We saw both Tenko and Pop’s real dream and memories with their family/ mother. They both still the same child in deep, despite what happenning to them or what they are doing rignt now. Despite everything, in deep they are still the same children who needs to be saved.

And Endeavour and proheroes fighting against them, instead of saving them. Not just fighting, they literally try to kill them.

I think in the end, Pop will be saved cause there are people wno knows her personally and wants to save her. But none of the hero side know Shigaraki personally, forget attempting to save him, they dont even see him as victim.

Just interesting details. I wrote it very randomly, there might be things i forgot to mention. For now, thats it.

[superpotato824]

i just finished Life is Strange: True Colors, so here are my thoughts on it (this is gonna be VERY long)

WOW okay my head hurts from staring at a screen that long but omg that game was so beautiful! The scenery, the ambient sounds, the characters, oh my GOD it was a visual masterpiece. The flower bridge, the flower shop, dang just the whole entire town of Haven!!!! Such a pretty place and so breathtaking. And the character animation??? I was scared it would look weird or creepy but WOAH it looks amazing. Definitely loved how the game looked and felt. All the characters were well fleshed out and that made it easier to connect with them as a player.

Now, for the plot... I really did love it. At least... I think I did? I'm determined to love every LiS game so take this with a pinch of salt. The plot was very interesting and definitely refreshing for the LiS series. In the original game, the plot kinda centers around the supernatural tornado or whatever that Max saw in her vision. In the LiS2, the brothers are running cuz of an accident caused by Daniel's supernatural powers (also its been a while since I played BtS so uhhh I don't really remember it oops) ANYWAYS in True Colors!!! It's finally different! The main conflict is not caused due to the character's supernatural powers! It's different, but honestly really cool. For once, you don't have a nagging feeling about causing the end of the world or being caught by the cops whenever you use your powers! Well, sort of... I don't know if it was just me, but some times when Alex used her powers, it felt like blatant emotional manipulation. Like, she would "dive into the hearts of others", find their greatest secret, fear, whatever it is, and then turn it against them. Using her powers to make Mac tell her the truth about what happened with the call Gabe made. Idk it just didn't sit right with me sometimes. Alex's powers are so unique and honestly I love the idea behind them and how the game works with it! But... I was at least hoping for SOME mention of how this was emotional manipulation on Alex's part. I mean, even in the original game, the nightmare-Max or whatever says that Max is using her powers to know exactly what to say and manipulate people into liking her. That's why I was so excited when a nightmare-esque scene began, cuz I thought we were about to dive deeper into that. But no, the nightmare-esque scene just showed us Alex's past, which was very interesting and definitely good to get to learn! But not exactly what I was hoping for. Sure, sometimes Alex makes an offhand comment about how she is using her powers to manipulate people, but it never stops her. Idk I guess I just wanted to see more into that but maybe that's just me. ANYWAYS again.

Honestly, I kind of saw the "surprise bad guy" being the bad guy way from the start. Idk something just seemed off about him to me or maybe I'm just used to LiS making good characters their surprise bad guy lol. Still, definitely made for a super cool and complex plot! Also though, at the end of it, I only felt like the choices that changed the end of the story were 1.) Who you romanced and 2.) Literally what you tell Gabe at the end of the game. Like,,,, I haven't seen any other playthroughs yet, but I really hope the game is different depending on your choices throughout, even if the ending is kinda stagnant (if that makes sense)

Thought of this last minute so I'm just gonna add it here before my final statements!!! ALEX'S POWERS. They are honestly SO COOL. I love how she goes from seeing them as a curse, something that makes her broken, to seeing them as a way to help people and to make things right. It's really so beautiful how the storytelling with her powers went. And her powers help flesh out the characters around her! We get to see little glimpses into the past and into these random strangers around town! It really adds another level of world building and makes the town of Haven seem even more real.

I really did love the story and oh my GOD did I love how the game looked! Definitely glad I got this game and I really wanna play it again to see how/if your choices really make a difference at the end of the day! Dang this was long and I still probably have even more thoughts on this game but I'll stop now. I think I love this game. If not for the beautiful scenery and town, then definitely for the cool, fleshed out characters living there.

Anyways if anyone wants to talk about this game or ANY other LiS game (or really anything tbh) send me a message!!! I'm bored and making friends is fun!

WAIT ALSO I JUST POSTED THIS BUT I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING ELSE!!!! There are some choices to "take" people's emotions from them. We... never see the long term consequences of that? Do they get them back? How does it affect Alex? Sure we see that the character that had anger taken from them is now numb to it, but do they ever get it back??? Can Alex give it back? And what about the character that had fear taken? How did that affect them? Sure we see they turn against the company that used to scare them, but is that the only fear Alex took? And again, how does this affect Alex??? After taking their emotions, we see Alex have a small breakdown, feeling a sudden urge of these feelings way after she took them. Like when she yelled about Gabe being dead and how nothing would bring him back, or when she curled up on herself, in fear of being watched. Does it just... go away? Does she ever deal with it? Does it ever come back???? And it doesn't help that you can choose NOT to take their emotions! That makes it harder to address in the long term. AAAA NOW IM CONFUSED AGAIN

AAAAA AND AGAIN ANYWAYS ALSO JUST REALIZED THIS WAS A LIS GAME THAT DIDNT MAKE ME CRY AT THE END. LIKE THE ENDING WASNT SAD? AT ALL? LIKE THE END FITS THE STORY AND I LOVE IT BUT WOW A LIS GAME THAT DOESNT HAVE A TRAUMATIC ENDING? CRAZY

[shhh-no-ones-home]

night watchmen josh balz x reader

+++++++++ Song: diamond girl by set it off

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee +++++++++

I sat on the couch in silence, leant over, my elbows digging into my thighs as I propped my head up on my hands. I had come home early to surprise my fiance but he was nowhere to be found. i was hoping to get him and head out for a date on the town but now i had been sitting here for an hour by myself, three glasses of wine deep, and no text back. this sucked. it was slowly creeping up on seven o'clock and i couldnt help but check my phone over and over again, but still nothing. i sighed and sat back, slouching into the couch.

"fuck this."

i said before standing up, freezing in my tracks as the front door unlocked. i heard laughing and got confused before he pushed the door fully open, him walking in with a tall thin woman tucked under his arm. when she saw me she stopped, looking to him for answers.

"baby?"

he asked, also confused.

"youre home early."

i tucked my phone into my pocket and nodded.

"yeah, if you would have answered my text three hours ago you wouldve known that."

i said sarcastically.

"i was hoping we could go out on a date but it looks like you did that already."

he pulled his arm off her shoulders and stood there uncomfortably.

"baby its not what you think-"

he started and i held my hand up.

"no, youre right, what it looks like is you moving out."

i said firmly.

"baby please."

He tried to protest. i shook my head, pulling my engagement ring off and pressing it into his hand.

"you have till tomorrow to get your shit out of my house and then im changing the locks. if you need me ill be at josh's, calling the landlord and taking you off the lease."

i said walking past him to our room. i texted josh as quickly as i could and began packing. as i stuffed clothing into a bag i tried so hard to fight the tears back. we had been together for three years. what happened to all that time? i guess it didnt matter anymore. i guess it didnt for either of us. the truth is i wasnt even that heartbroken. at some point i think i stopped loving him too, it just didnt matter till now. it didnt matter till i was faced with the truth of it all. now i had to deal with that. when i walked back out into the living room he was standing there alone, a sad look on his face. he reached out for me as i made my way to the door.

"wait, baby, can we please talk about this?"

he said and i turned to look at him.

"there is nothing to talk about."

he laughed in disbelief.

"yes there is, just hear me out."

i shook my head.

"no, i dont want to hear anything from you right now. other than maybe how long this has been going on and if you still love me, that i think i deserve to know."

he dropped his gaze to the floor in shame.

"no, i dont."

i nodded.

"and ive been seeing a few different women for the last year."

i closed my eyes tightly for a second.

"so when you proposed to me and said all those things, you didnt mean any of it?"

he slowly shook his head, looking to me with a sad look on his face. i blinked slowly, turning back to the door and reaching for the handle.

"good, cause i dont think i did either."

i said harshly as i pulled the door open, stepping out into the cool night air and closing it behind me. for the first time in forever i could just breathe, relax, revel in freedom. this was a feeling i missed. being with him felt like a trap for so long. i sighed in relief as i saw josh's car pull up in front of the house, making me smile for the first time today. he got out of the car, a look of pity strewn across his features. i practically ran to him, him hugging me tightly to his body and rubbing my back gently.

"you okay?"

he asked and i nodded into his shoulder.

"i am now."

i said softly as he pulled away. he ran his hands down my arms, examining my face before opening the passenger door.

"lets get out of here."

°°°°°°°°°

as i sat on joshs couch i sipped the coffee he had offered and waited for him to come back from the kitchen. the dogs were sitting in a blanket about a foot away from me, staring in my direction. usually they were all over me but maybe they knew something was wrong.

"sorry that took so long."

josh said walking in behind me, another mug in his hand.

"its fine, nothing im not used to."

i let out a soft laugh as he sat, sending me an apologetic look.

"so, uh, do you wanna talk about it?"

he asked and i shrugged.

"i dont even know what there is to talk about now. its over. if im honest it was kind of over a long time ago."

he placed his hand on my thigh, squeezing it lightly.

"im sorry it ended up this way for you y/n. i know you said months ago that you didnt think this would last. but i never even wouldve imagined it would happen like this."

i side nodded before taking a sip of the coffee.

"you and me both."

i said, raising my brows.

"are you gonna be okay?"

i sighed, slouching into the back of the couch.

"thats the thing josh. every part of me says i should be sad. i should be mad. hell maybe even a little vengeful. but im not. i dont really feel anything other than annoyed."

he raised a brow in confusion.

"annoyed?"

i nodded lightly.

"i guess im just fed up with the fact that i waisted three years of my life. three years of time and emotion. three years i couldve been looking for an actual partner and friend. looking for someone who actually cares about me."

he cleared his throat.

"someone like me?"

i sent him a small smile.

"maybe."

he smiled back at me, knowingly.

"its not like we havent been flirting the past few months. when you called me i was almost expecting you to tell me you had ended things with him and you were gonna come running into my arms. ya know, like those shitty fairytale fantasy type things."

i couldnt help but laugh.

"honestly i think i wanted to but it didnt feel right. besides, i dont think it wouldve been appropriate to kiss you in front of him considering he had been cheating on me. that wouldnt exactly look good on paper."

he laughed a little too at that.

"yeah but whats keeping us from doing that now?"

i sent him a look.

"i dont know."

he side nodded.

"im single, youre single, we're too grown adults who have been slightly pining after each other for a few months."

i nodded back.

"all valid points."

i said, inching towards him. he looked down to my lips, inching closer too.

"then theres nothing keeping us apart anymore."

i looked over his eyes.

"i think youre exactly right."

i said softly, shutting my eyes as he closed the gap between us, connecting our lips. it was a lot softer then i had dreamed it to be and he tasted like caramel. it was quick though. when he pulled away we both smiled at each other like idiots.

"why did that take us so long?"

he said through a laugh and i shook my head.

"i have no idea."

i said before pulling him in for another kiss, this time much deeper and smoother, as if that were possible. he hummed into my mouth, bringing his hand around to the back of my head and holding me to him. when we both pulled away again he rested his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes closed.

"god i wish i wouldve done that forever ago."

i smiled at him as he opened his yes, pecking him quickly on the lips.

"god i do too."

we both laughed lightly for a second, him pulling me closer to him.

"y/n?"

he said, taking my hand in his.

"yeah?"

i asked.

"will you be mine?"

i let out a relieved laugh.

"yeah."

he brought his free hand up to stroke my cheek gently.

"i promise ill treat you so much better."

i sat back and held up my pinkie.

"promise?"

i asked and he sent me a knowing smile, connecting our fingers.

"promise."