#'look at hanguang-jun's son! like father like son!' say the people at cloud recesses

[lgbtlunaverse]

Now this is meaner than i like to be when talking about fandom because i am pro people having fun and doing what they want and playing around with dynamics. So let me preface by saying that if you like this headcanon there's nothing wrong with you and I hope you have a great day. That said, aside from the Wen erasure and trying to flatten a more unconventional family dynamic into a nuclear family shaped hole one of the main reasons I vibe less with the "wangxian are a-yuan's dads" headcanon is that I honestly think it's kind of... Lan Wangji character assasination.

Yeah that sounds really harsh but the headcanon recquires Lan Wangji formally adopting a-yuan as his own and/or raising him as his son and i cannot stress this enough he would not do that. Because that would be actively endangering A-Yuan's safety.

To be clear: Lan wangji and wen yuan canonically look so alike that strangers who'd never met either of them assumed they were father and son. If Lan Wangji suddenly comes back with a child that he is insisting to raise, and that child looks exactly like him, people aren't going to assume that's hanguang-jun's adopted son. That is hanguang-jun's biological son with a mystery mother!

Jiang Fengmian didn't even formally adopt wei wuxian, and people knew who his actual (married!) parents were, and they still regularly assumed that he was secretly jiang fengmian's bastard instead of the child of the man cangse sanren literally eloped with.

If that's how eager people are about bastard rumours, what do you think happens if one of the most eligible bachelors in the jianghu turns up with an "adopted" son who looks just like him and refuses to say anything about where he came from?

Yeah, Hanguang-jun knocked someone up and apparantly the union was so scandalous he's deperately trying to cover it up while literally bringing this bastard kid into his own clan. Can you imagine a more juicy rumour? Everyone would want to know who this kid's mother is. A-Yuan's background would be one of the hottest pieces of gossip around.

Which, if you're triyng to make sure that no one finds out that this kid is actually a Wen and came straight from the burial mounds, is really fucking bad. If everyone is looking for A-Yuan's backround and someone succeeds, his life is in danger.

A-Yuan lost his memories, and that must've hurt like hell for Lan Wangji, both for A-Yuan's own sake and because that means this child that Wei Wuxian loved and who loved him in turn now no longer remembers him, will only ever know him from the lies the world tells about him. But he didn't do anything about it, because not knowing was safer for A-Yuan. Even if Lan Wangji wanted to personally adopt him, he would not risk A-Yuan's safety to satisfy his own feelings.

On the other hand, A-Yuan looking like Lan Wangji means he looks like a Lan, and wonky as the mdzs timeline is it's pretty clear he was born during the sunshot campaign. The Lan lost a lot of people in the war, they probably have loads of war orphans, and this kid clearly looks like one, they'd have no problem taking him in. Are they 100% sure who his parents were? No, but they probably died shortly after he was born and weren't able to safely return him to cloud recesses.

It's really easy for Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji to come up with a story from here. Someone came across the kid on the streets, saw the family resemblance, and decided to take him back to his home! After the burial mounds Wen Yuan probably wouldn't look too different form an average street rat. Or maybe the boy was raised by a common family who told them about the cultivators that left him there for safekeeping, unable to idenify them exactly but mentioning the signature white robes and forehead ribbon. Who knows!

The point is that Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui could, for Sizhui's own safety, not be seen as father and son. From Sizhui's comments that Lan Wangji was "like a father or older brother" to him, and the fact that Lan Wangji chose his courtesy name we can infer that after he got out of seclusion Lan Wangji was more involved in his life than he would've been with other disciples. But from the outside that could be explained as a teacher having a favorite student, and an honoured sect elder (and family member, though now the assumption is "distant cousin/nephew" instead of "bastard child") helping to name a child in lieu of parents that are no longer there. By all accounts, Lan Yuan was raised collectively by the Lan as one of the several war orphans they must have had. Just like how he was raised collectively by the burial mound Wen before that.

[jiaoji]

⚠️ pre canon/blood/ dad LWJ

short fic

Lan Yuan/Lan WangJi

Caiyi was busy that day. Lan Yuan held tightly to Lan WangJi's hand, watching the rather frightening movement with wide eyes.

It had been a year since a-Yuan arrived at the Cloud Recess.

Lan Yuan looked up, "Gege..."

Lan WangJi looked down, because of his height, he was slightly hunched over to A-Yuan's side.

"Mn?"

"Are we going to buy food for the bunnies?" the boy shook himself nervously.

"No. We are going to buy some toys."

"Toys!", Lan Yuan jumped and jumped, and Lan WangJi couldn't help but remember the new little horde of baby rabbits that A-Yuan told him had appeared on one of his visits.

A-Yuan sure looked like one.

The two walked between the stores, being a white contrast with the colorful and alive tapestries, people and food.

Lan WangJi finally saw a small toy store, the colorful butterflies gave his chest a little pinch, which he promptly ignored with a sigh.

When he looked back at Lan Yuan, he saw that his eyes were already on a scene in the distance, following where A-Yuan was so focused, Lan WangJi saw a father and his son.

The two laughed loudly, the boy had a butterfly and played on his father's shoulders.

"...", Lan WangJi also observed and then looked at A-Yuan.

Her hand was gently removed from the grip of the plump little hand.

Lan Yuan was snapped out of his trance and looked over at Lan WangJi, who had a little trouble getting down so low, putting both hands under the child's arms and lifting him up in the air.

Lan Yuan, "Oh?! Ahh, Gege, I'm going to fall!", his legs and arms flailed in fright.

"You won't fall.", Lan WangJi's gentle voice soothed Lan Yuan for a moment, when he was finally able to put it on his shoulders.

"Gege?", holding tightly to Lan WangJi's face, Lan Yuan could see everyone from above and a long, impressed "wow" came out in awe.

He watched and watched, firmly caught in Lan WangJi, who was practically standing in the middle of the street. When he saw the toy stall, he fluttered and laughed, saying he wanted a butterfly.

Lan WangJi, still standing, let the air out of his nose, "You're covering my eyes."

"Oh?", Lan Yuan carefully lowered his hands, squeezing Lan WangJi's cheeks. He thought about straightening Lan Yuan, however, the laughter and the little hands squeezing his cheeks won him. If Lan Yuan needed that support to feel more secure, Lan WangJi would allow it.

Even though his hand was supporting A-Yuan's back.

He followed them to the toy stall with happy and surprised looks on the two of them.

The salesman soon greeted them with a big smile, "Welcome, young master! Would your child like any toys?"

Lan WangJi, "Mn.", it wasn't important to correct the man at that moment, even more so when A-Yuan seemed so engrossed in choosing the best butterfly.

He pointed to one of them, with bluish and white accents. Lan WangJi took it and handed it to him, when he took out her money bag, he noticed another butterfly.

Red and with the wing a little torn.

Lan WangJi handed over an extra coin and asked to take it too.

The salesman was confused and offered another one, "How about this one? It's not torn."

"No, thank you."

Lan Yuan saw the butterfly and brought his own, "That, that!"

"Well then, here it is.", he simply handed the butterfly to Lan WangJi, thanking him for the purchase.

Lan WangJi watched the butterfly, while A-Yuan flew over it with his own.

Lan Yuan began to ramble at the same time as Lan WangJi was looking for a restaurant. They entered one that looked less crowded.

He took the boy off his shoulders, sitting him on one of the tables.

The waiter approached them. HanGuang-Jun let A-Yuan choose what to eat, plus a nutritious soup that Lan WangJi had to order so he wouldn't just eat junk food.

In the waiting time, Lan Yuan went back to muttering to the butterflies.

"I like you!", he waved the red butterfly energetically, when it was the white butterfly's turn, A-Yuan looked at Lan WangJi and gave it to him.

Not knowing what to do, he waited for Lan Yuan to start playing, "I like you!", the red butterfly jumped and flew.

Lan WangJi, "Mn."

Lan Yuan, "No, gege! You have to say 'I like you too!'..."

Lan WangJi, "...I like you too."

A-Yuan laughed, congratulating Lan WangJi with a pat on the arm and a small-toothed smile.

The return to the Cloud Recess was very smooth. A-Yuan was on his shoulder, talking about the things he saw, about his school friend who was punished for talking too loud, or about the praise he got from his teacher.

Halfway to the gate, Lan Xichen appeared, apparently worried. He slowed his steps and his face still had a certain seriousness.

Lan WangJi felt A-Yuan a little more quiet.

Lan Xichen, "WangJi, where were you?"

Lan WangJi took the boy off his shoulders again, greeting him, "Xiong-zhang, I was in Caiyi."

Lan Xichen, "Uncle is very angry. You shouldn't go out like this..."

Lan WangJi, "Mn.", he released A-Yuan, but the boy was still clinging to his robes, so HanGuang-Jun stroked his head with his fingertips, "I'll let him in the room first."

Lan Xichen sighed, clearly wanting to intervene, but his brother wouldn't let him, "Okay. I'll ask the healers to go to Jingshi later."

Lan WangJi thanked, guiding A-Yuan to where the younger ones were. Lan Xichen let out a sharp breath from her mouth, as Lan WangJi walked away, he could see the fabric of his clothes with red stains on his back.

[jar-of-vicissitudes]

54

Tomorrow, Wangji is leaving Gusu. Before sleeping, he checks if A-Yuan has packed everything to spend the week at Brother's.

“Dad, I'm not eight any more.”

“Do you have your comb?”

“Yes,” sighs A-Yuan. Who taught him to sigh like that?

Without giving Wangji a break, A-Yuan adds: “When can I come with you on a night-hunt?”

“When you are old enough to be named Sizhui.”

“I'll go with my class before that. And Uncle told me you would accompany him before you were fifteen.”

Brother, why.

“You need more training. Next year, maybe.”

A-Yuan pouts. Wangji only thinks: Already?

_____

previous - next 

[annalacerda17]

So I’ve heard some people saying that Lan Wangji wanting to bring Wei Wuxian back to Gusu (similar to what his father did to his mother) and later dragging him back there post-resurrection is a sign of them having an unhealthy relationship?

I personally disagree but I also struggle to articulate why I do so I was just wondering if you have any thoughts or opinions on this.

I don't think it's sign of them having an unhealthy relationship because even if we ignore the context around those scenes, the rest of the novel (especially post resurrection) is basically LWJ and WWX getting to know each other better and learning how to interact with each other in a healthy way. They're both considerate, open-minded people, who care about each other and respect each other very much. That being said, I'll explain why I don't think those two scenes don't mean their relationship is unhealthy.

In WWX's first life, LWJ says he wants to bring WWX back to Gusu, but he also recognizes that WWX doesn't want that and so, LWJ doesn't bring him back to Gusu against his will. We can take it as just LWJ saying he wished WWX would agree with him and being sad he didn't because, ultimately, LWJ didn't act on it. As for how it relates to the relationship between his parents, it's hard to say much, because we don't know much. I know fandom likes to speculate about Madam Lan possibly being innocent, but there's just not enough evidence to say for sure what happened then. We know her sons loved her but that doesn't say anything about how fair or unfair her treatment might have been in the Lan sect. She seems to not have wanted to marry LWJ's father at some point, but we don't know for sure if she changed her mind later or if he married her against her will. We do know she never complained to her sons, but they were her children so she may have been shielding them from the truth, she could've loved them for being her children even if she had despised their father. We just don't know. LXC is the one who speaks of it and even he doesn't know much. So I don't think it makes sense to say LWJ is "like his father" as evidence that wangxian's relationship os unhealthy, like some antis do - we don't even know enough about what kind of person LWJ's father was, and the only comparison we have between them is the scene where LWJ chooses the opposite as his father.

As for the scene where LWJ does take WWX back to Gusu post resurrection, we have to look at that in the context it happened: JC was trying to frag WWX back to Lotus Pier to torture and kill and WWX himself was yelling about how he liked Hanguang-jun in order to throw off JC. It was WWX's plan to use LWJ to get away from JC, and while we know he didn't mean that at point in time, LWJ is no mind reader. WWX also complained a lot, but did little to actually leave, which he could've if had wanted to, and LWJ knew that. At that point in time, LWJ was still under the impression that WWX knew he had recognized him, after all, so he didn't think WWX was acting like that to make him leave, he probably thought WWX was just teasing teasing him like he had done when they were young. WWX even says, not long before, that the silencing spell is easy to break and will only leave you with a sore throat. He could've broken it in front of LXC and gotten himself kicked out, and he could've just used guidao to aid in his escape if he really wanted to.

After arriving in the Cloud Recesses, WWX's "escape plan" was basically to peep at LWJ bathing and sleep in the same bed. He never said he wanted to leave, partly because he assumed he wouldn't be allowed to, but also because he was having fun. Later on he goes with LWJ to look for NMJ's body parts and he has a million chances to leave but he just doesn't. In fact, when they get separated he consistently goes back to LWJ's side.

In any case, the rest of their relationship is unambiguously positive and healthy, they communicate with each other and respect each other, so I view their relationship as perfectly healthy. Personally, wangxian is one of healthiest couples I've come across in a book.

[chiyukimei]

Wei Wuxian's Birthday

Copying Scriptures by chiyukimei on ao3

Not Rated | 2.754 words | Wei Wuxian&Lan Wangji | Genius Wei Wuxian | Not finished

Summary: Wei Wuxian is never taken in by anyone, but he carves himself a place in a world that coexists with the cultivation sects. Everyone has a lot to say about Counselor Wei's past, yet he is the only one who knows what he has been through. (Scholar WWX)

For the first prompt of the event of the @pocketfulofrecs : Genius WWX

Happy birthday Wei Wuxian!

Note: This is in a universe where CSSR was never friends with JFM, so JFM never takes WY to YMJ. This is also not a historically accurate fic. English is not my first language either, so I'm sorry from the beginning for the possible mistakes you'll see.

Soon after the Sunshot Campaign, Koi Tower was full of Clan leaders having important talks with important people about important topics. The leader of the LanlingJin Clan, Jin Guangshan had two things in his mind. One of them being the position of the chief cultivator and the other, the courtesan he visited last night.

After the war, only three of the five great sects had remained the same. The Wen Sect had been diminished forever, while YunmengJiang hadn’t been able to recover from the attack of the Wens. Only GusuLan, QingheNie, and LanlingJin stood as tall as before.

On one side of the room was the Clan Leader Nie Mingjue, and on the other side were the Clan Leader Lan Xichen and his brother Lan Wangji. At a farther point was Jiang Cheng, the clan leader of YunmengJiang, sitting next to a guy named Su She.

Jiang Cheng was leading the sect in place of his father who had lost his core, despite being able to run away with his son. Everyone knew the story of the Lotus Pier Massacre. Rumors said that the Lady of the Jiang Clan, Yu Ziyuan couldn’t hold herself back when a servant from the Wen Clan had looked down on her. All of the YunmengJiang Sect had been killed by the Wen troops that had been alerted by the signal flame of that servant. Jiang Fengmian had hardly escaped with his son on his back while the servant had soon recovered.

After the war, although Lotus Pier was symbolically given to YunmengJiang again, no power from before had remained. Without many disciples or soldiers, without contributing to war significantly, without having war heroes like LianFang Zun or Hanguang Jun, how could they recover? Dead would have had to start to walk for YunmengJiang for the Jiang to rise back again.

The banquet hall was silenced at once when a Young Master from the Jin sect approached the Lan brothers.

“Sect Leader Lan, Hanguang Jun, a toast to each of you!”

It was a known fact that the Lans didn’t drink. Jin Guangyao tried to explain, “Zixun, both Zewu Jun and Hanguang Jun grew up in Cloud Recesses. There are over three thousand rules on their stone wall. Instead of asking them to drink, why not…”

Jin Zixun interrupted, “The Jin Sect and the Lan Sect have always been like one family. We’re all the same. My two Lan brothers, if you don’t drink this, you’d be looking down on me!”

Behind them, people started to cheer for Jin Zixun.

Lan Wangji, also known as Hanguang Jun, was standing as straight as ever. His cold demeanor had become even colder after Jin Zixun had opened his mouth. He had just parted his lips to speak when a man grabbed the cup of liquor in Jin Zixun’s hands.

Lifting his gaze, Lan Wangji saw a man with a slender physique dressed in detailed red and black robes. He was wearing a thin silver belt, seemingly designed specifically for him. His robes had also silver linings that made his grey eyes seem even brighter. His lips had the shadow of amusement on the corners.

His graceful arms were exposed until his elbows when he had taken the cup to his mouth. The man downed the cup in one gulp.

He spoke with the soft voice of a gentleman, “I drank it, are you satisfied yet?”

Jin Zixun raised a brow at him, “Who the hell are you?”

The man side eyed Jin Zixun while his hands were against his back. He spoke directly to Jin Guangshan, “Sect Leader Jin, I must ask you. Who is this person?”

Jin Guangshan’s smile froze on his face. He forced himself to smile while replying, “Imperial Counselor Wei.”

The man was Wei Wuxian, the famous prodigious counselor of the palace. Everyone knew of him although not everyone had seen him. Personally, Lan Wangji had heard of his fame yet he hadn’t been able to meet him.

Wei Wuxian was a scholar and the newly admitted counselor. He had countless scientific papers, yet what made him truly famous around the civilians was his backstory. Coming from the streets, he was a source of inspiration for most. He had carved himself a position in the palace as a scholar despite his nonexistent background. Even going as far as being a counselor at the young age of nineteen, which was the third-highest position in the palace. Countless stories were told about him. Some said that he had been taken into the palace when one day the Emperor had found him while wandering as a civilian. The emperor had pitied the child he had seen on the streets, and just a few minutes of chatting was enough for him to see the potential of the child.

Others said that Wei Ying was taken in by courtesans, and he had studied to the palace exams with the help of those learned women.

Out of the countless rumors, what everyone knew was that Wei Wuxian was really coming from the streets and that he was really smart.

There wasn’t a cultivator who hadn’t heard of his name before, for he was the sole reason the emperor had decided to get involved with the relationships of the cultivation sects for the first time in hundred years.

Gasps could be heard from around them. Wei Wuxian’s posture didn’t even waver a bit. He spoke confidently, “Sect Leader Jin, I really wouldn’t want to disrupt your banquet. However, today I’m here for an important matter that requires no delay.”

Jin Guangshan had gained his relaxed pretense back. “Counselor Wei, what can I help the Emperor with?”

Wei Wuxian smiled approvingly, “I want to question you upon the topic of a branch of the Wen. One of your people, namely a person named Jin Zixun caught them last week when they were night hunting. They were free after the war, yet your disciples forced them to be baits and nothing could be heard of them afterward. Do you know where they are?”

Jin Zixun knitted his brows after seeing that Counselor Wei didn’t even know who he was talking to just before.

Jin Guangshan, “I have no knowledge of this. Counselor Wei please calm down and have a seat.”

Wei Wuxian raised a brow, “You, as a sect leader have no knowledge of innocents wilfully being taken by your sect’s people? Sect Leader Jin, is this the way you treat Emperor’s citizens?”

Jin Guangshan’s mood seemed totally off now, “Counselor Wei, the Emperor isn’t here today, is he? Why does he care about a bunch of Wen dogs?”

Counselor Wei chuckled lightly, “His highness cares about his people. Unlike most of you cultivators. Sect Leader Jin, do I have to remind you of the contribution the palace made to the war against the Wen?”

Wei Wuxian standing tall as such while also representing the Palace, none of the sects dared say anything. Jin Guangyao had to interfere, “Counselor Wei, the palace contributed a lot indeed. But please don’t forget the treaty between the Sects and the Government.”

Wei Wuxian’s white teeth showed up in an amused smile, “Oh? But you didn’t hesitate to forget it when it was the Palace that helped you. Didn’t the sects use my inventions in the war? Let’s just keep it short and tell us where Wen Ning is.”

Jin Guangyao seemed surprised, “We?”

Wei Wuxian ignored him, “Will you tell it, or shall I take it as an insult to the government? Sect Leader Jin?”

Jin Guangshan eyed Jin Zixun but didn’t say anything.

Wei Wuxian, “I’ll count to three. One.”

“Two.”

Jin Guangshan sighed, “Zixun.”

Jin Zixun spoke through his clenched teeth, “They are being kept in Qionqi Path.”

Wei Wuxian nodded slightly upon hearing this. Upon a flick of his wrist sounds of horses could be heard from outside. He eyed the cup in front of Lan Xichen, “Sect Leader Lan, do you mind?”

Lan Xichen shook his head, “Please.”

Wei Wuxian downed the cup in one go and turned to the sect leaders sitting inside the room. “Please don’t feel uncomfortable. Wen dogs are Wen dogs, but people are also people. We don’t want to see new Wen Ruohans in the future, right?” He stared straight at Jin Guangshan.

After that, Counselor Wei left the banquet hall with the same grace as he had come.

Behind his back, people had started to whisper. Some people went to the windows to watch him leave. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but glance over where Wei Wuxian was putting his one slender leg on the horse and pulling himself up with a habitual elegance. After smiling at his subordinates, he helped a woman to his horse too. The woman wore ragged clothes, her hair was incredibly messy, and her face was dirty with mud.

She was Wen Qing, the former genius medic of the Wen Sect.

Wei Wuxian gave a sign with his head and a bunch of people started to ride away.

Lan Wangji wondered if Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian had something between them. He must have looked for quite some time that Lan Xichen had raised a brow. “Wangji, what happened?”

Lan Wangji turned to him. “Nothing.”

Lan Xichen spoke with a smile, “Counselor Wei seems like someone really rigid. His efforts in the war were quite considerable despite it being his first war as a general. He is also very young.”

Lan Wangji spoke without looking at his brother, “He is also arrogant.”

Jin Guangyao added from behind, “Brother, Counselor Wei is really making things hard for us. Jin Clan suffers a lot in his hands.”

Lan Wangji felt sick after seeing his words being used in favor of the Jin Clan. Counselor Wei acted arrogantly, his flirtatious fame with women was something widely known, and he often clashed with cultivators. However, Lan Wangji would never prefer Jins to Wei Wuxian. He was the major reason why the Jin Sect hadn’t yet grown too arrogant.

He also couldn’t reject the things Wei Wuxian achieved in the war. Although the Emperor had decided to attend the war at the last phases as the Jins; compared to Jins, Wei Wuxian had achieved great things in the name of the sects. His inventions and his strategies were the biggest reasons as to why the war had ended.

He turned his gaze directly at Jin Guangyao, “He is arrogant, but was he wrong?”

Jin Guangyao seemed surprised upon seeing Lan Wangji answer. He answered with a smile after a bit of consideration. “You’re right Hanguang Jun. He is of course right.”

you can read the rest of it in here on ao3

[lansyuan]

do you love fics where wei wuxian and lan wangji parent the crap out of lan sizhui? do you want to read accidental baby acquisition fics until your eyes bleed? would you die as your heart slowly turns to mush from the softness of this family? bitch the fuck, me too. here are some of my personal favourite fics of wangxian ft their turnip son a-yuan. its a range of canon divergence, post canon, thirteen years of inquiry, raising a-yuan at the burial mounds au etc - there’ll be something for literally everyone. enjoy!

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (38k+)

When A-Yuan gets sick and Wen Qing doesn't have the supplies she needs to properly treat him, Wei Wuxian can only think of one place to go for help. 

a crying shame by thunderwear (16k+)

Lan Wangji gets emotionally blackmailed by a toddler. It somehow fixes everything.

to recollect and long for by wonderlands (22k+) *2/3 works posted at time of posting this rec list.

a 3-part series about best boy lan sizhui and his wonderful dads who love him and each other very much.

forgetting envies, remembering your loving hold by cosmicfuss (3k+)

The first time Zewu-jun plays for him he is five and the man is trying to comfort him, playing soft songs good for soothing children. It works to a degree but he wants his gege, he wants his gege to play his lullaby. Zewu-jun apologizes and tells him that his gege is hurting right now, and needs to be alone to get better.

When he plays the xiao, A-Yuan says, "you're holding it wrong!" When he turns fourteen, he learns to play guqin, and is many years ahead of his classmates in that regard. A large factor in that is how much he has practiced Inquiry. He has grown up hearing snippets from the jingshi, of Wangji attempting to reach a spirit that never answers.

When he's sixteen, he hears a familiar tune played in the forest, he and his fellow juniors battling a stone god. It's been years since he's heard it, and he wonders why this man, Mo Xuanyu, knows it so well.

Or, Lan Sizhui grows up and learns, and remembers.

five times wei wuxian tried to embarrass lan sizhui by blackelement7 (6k+)

(and one time he realized just how badly he'd played himself)

or: In which Wei Wuxian starts a fight but Lan Sizhui (with some meddling from Lan Jingyi) ends it.

inquiry by incendir (10k+)

Sizhui cannot fall asleep for a long, long time that night. He hears the ever-familiar melody again. He thinks perhaps he has memorized it by now.

storge by respira (9k+)

Lan Sizhui is a lake.

as the warren grows in number by kore_fics (3k+)

Before Sizhui could take another step he was surrounded by black and red, loud laughter in his ears and warm fingers running through his hair, messing it up. Palms squished both his cheeks together and Lan Sizhui let out a laugh.

Lan Sizhui was home.

tell some storm* by qurbat (31k+) *the moments with Sizhui are in chapter 2, however I highly recommend reading the whole fic, it’s adorable.

"We were raised as a generation of war, A-Yuan," Xian-gege said to him. "If your generation choses to be one of love - well, I don't think any of us would be opposed to that."

In the aftermath of the events at the Guanyin temple, the cultivation world scrambles to understand their current reality. A man roams the countryside with a string of white in his hair. Another sits on the highest seat of power with a ribbon of red around his forehead. The younger generation turns out to be full of romantics. Nie Huaisang is to blame for everything, always. Jiang Cheng realizes that happiness has been more that 16 years overdue.

Wei Wuxian declares that it's time that bitch pays up.

After a generation of war - much to the consternation of the elders, much to the delight of the young, much to the pleased shock of the subjects of the tale - the world welcomes a love story with open arms.

guess we're not eating leaves today by missingnarwhal (2k+)

Baby A-Yuan has cooked up a feast, but only one lucky gege will actually get to taste it!

Set in an alternate timeline where everything is okay after Wei Ying + Wens started living in the Burial Mounds.

response by aki_no_hikari (12k+)

What if Wei Wuxian hadn't been silent to Lan Wangji's Inquiry?

love, in all its small pieces by ynvel (4k+)

Ah Yuan is brought to the Cloud Recesses and exchanges the sun and its ashes for the clouds. Lan Wangji brings a boy home, calls him his son, and renews the promises he made.

Or: Lan Sizhui is adopted by Lan Wangji and learns about his new life. Lan Wangji in turn learns about hope and living again.

child surprise by ariaste (4k+)

He huffs a sigh. “Fine. Just - let’s just make it the law of surprise, shall we? That’s nice and simple, eh? Leave it up to destiny what will bring us back in balance. Let it drop something of yours into my lap, something small, and we’ll call the debt paid.”

Three debts, three repayments.

there's a lunatic in mo village by bastetcg (11k+)

There's a lunatic in Mo Village! And to Lan Sizhui's surprise, Hanguang-Jun has decided to bring the madman back to the Cloud Recesses! How embarrassing!

A mostly canon-compliant look into Lan Sizhui's thoughts and childhood.

on being a big boy by emberloey (1k+)

“My little A-Yuan,��� Dad had said the next morning, kneeling down to A-Yuan’s height with a smile, “all grown up now. Soon you’ll be hunting without your poor old dads.”

“Never!” A-Yuan shook his head and latched onto Father’s leg. He smiled up at Father, who smiled back and nodded his head. “A-Yuan always needs Dad and Father!”

in all these shades of blue (i think we found you) by fleetling (5k+)

5 times Sizhui thought about his father's white robes, and 1 time Lan Wangji wore blue.

(Or: Lan Sizhui had never seen his father in anything other than white robes.)

this is when the feeling sinks in, i don't want to miss you like this (come back, be here) by mischievousmurmurs (6k+)

Just now… the butterflies’ conversation. Where did you learn that from, Ah-Yuan?

Ah-Yuan pats his chest. In here, shushu. I feel it in here. And in here, too, he adds, pointing to his head.

Sizhui has never quite been able to remember nor forget the memory of seeing people who he knows loved each other, loved him, and whom he loved in return.

or - a wangxian story, as told by their adopted son.

yours, mine, and ours by casecous (2k+)

When they have both mostly recovered, and A-Yuan is back to his smiling, playful self, Lan Wangji presents him with a forehead ribbon. A-Yuan’s little fingers bump into Lan Wangji’s thumbs as he traces the cloud motif along it.

“You are Lan now. This is very important,” Lan Wangji tells him and A-Yuan looks away from the ribbon to meet his eyes. “You must not take it off as you please. Only family may touch it.”

A series of wangxian family moments.

innocence by snowberryrose (8k+)

In which Wei WuXian gets to raise A-Yuan.

Canon divergence from episode 31.

to recollect and long for by mme_anxious (4k+)

Lan Xichen is there when his brother becomes a father. Lan Sizhui is there when his father's heart breaks, again. Wei Wuxian is there when his son gets drunk for the first time.

Or, the GusuLan forehead ribbon, in three parts.

our little one by writedeku (6k+)

A-Yuan is here. A-Yuan, who Wei Ying loved so much. A-Yuan, who was taught to laugh just like him. Wangji hugs him to his chest and curls over him, ignoring the way the wounds on his back pull and tear. “I have to take care of you,” he says. “I will not leave you.”

(Or: Lan Wangji comes back from Yiling with a child he does not know how to care for and a black hole in his chest. Somehow, he makes it work.)

gathered herbs & sweet grasses by hansbekhart (19k+)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

the sacred homeland by particulate (8k+)

He has many names, and some are mouthfuls of blood.

[Or; a chronology of Sizhui, in which he does not forget.]

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (19k+)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

when he comes home to you by kika988 (2k+)

Home is Cloud Recesses now, and that's a thing Wei Wuxian is still getting used to. He still feels like a guest here, most days, though Lan Wangji has done everything to make him feel at home. He stands out like a sore thumb amongst the serene disciples and flowing white fabric.

Cloud Recesses has been home to Lan Wangji and Sizhui for years. It is their home, where they've built their family.

The thought warms Wei Wuxian even as it sits a little ill with him. He's an intruder here, in their homes, in their lives, the same way he had been in Lotus Pier.

five times people didn’t know sizhui is lan zhan’s son and one time they did by trilliastra (3k+)

“A-Yuan.” He repeats, reaching out for the boy, growing restless when he can’t touch him. “A-Yuan.”

Oh. Lan Xichen closes his eyes as the tears start to fall. Oh, Wangji.

Carefully, Lan Xichen takes the boy and lays him next to his brother on the bed, Wangji holds him protectively against his chest and A-Yuan stops his little cries immediately.

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen tries again, running a hand through his brother’s hair softly, “who is he?”

“He’s my son.”

5 times the lan head disciple broke the rules by liji (6k+)

“I am not aware of any rule forbidding falling in love,” Hanguang-Jun said at last. There was a quiet sadness in his eye, like he was watching a scene from far away. The novelty of it gave Sizhui the courage to ask his next question.

“Have you ever been in love, Father?” he asked.

(or, five times that Sizhui broke the Lan sect's rules growing up)

the seasons change (but i love you the same) by kdkdkd (7k+)

"Hanguang-jun!"

When did you stop calling me Bàba, A-Yuan?

Lan Wangji had always promised himself that he would never become a poor father like his own had been.

Unfortunately, it feels like he has failed to keep that promise.

✨ bonus round ✨ uncle jiang cheng and nephew lan sizhui

tintinnabulum by respira (8k+)

A small bell chimes, the sound soft and pleasant like the water crashing against a pier, like low whistles in an empty cave, like a guqin playing a lullaby.

[somebodyssherlock-heterodyne]

Another Fucking Fix-It AU Because Canon Couldn't Give Them a Break

So my friend- the same one I was DMing when feral time traveler Lan Xichen popped into my head- who introduced me to this series said “you’re not gonna be able to think about anything else” and fuck you @adoni-pike1261​ for being right.

Now *cracks knuckles* I’m actually going to be writing a corresponding fic for this, but it’s still fair game, I love seeing other people’s interpretations of my work be it other fics, fanart, memes, anything.

Thusly I present: Ghost Wei Wuxian AU.

Wei Wuxian dies.

Wei Wuxian comes back as an extremely powerful ghost, haunting- of all people- Jin Ling.

AU under the cut

So Jin Ling grows up with his cool ghost friend Wei Ying! Wei Ying is really cool, and super powerful, and knows all sorts of stuff about monsters and talismans and cultivation, and sometimes he just invents things on the spot. For fun. He's the coolest. And he's sticking around because Jin Ling's mother told him to.

He knew her. And his father. He knew them both.

Wei Wuxian swore an oath to his dying sister to keep her son safe, and this is how he keeps it; reminding the kid to eat, and sleep, and take it easy on himself. He plays translator for Jiang Cheng and teaches A-Ling everything he wants the kid to know.

Jin Ling loves Wei Ying. He messes with Jiujiu's hair if he's not paying attention to him, and he says Jin Ling is a Jiang and that means he can do anything. He tells him to live for justice and to love as much as he possibly can.

Jin Ling tells people he loves them. Wei Ying is his godfather, he named him (Jiujiu never told him that) and Wei Ying says to him one bright summer day to tell people if he loves them. You won't have the chance to do that one day, and one day might be tomorrow, so take that chance while you have it.

So Jin Ling tells everyone he loves that he loves them. He still grows up maladjusted and moody and angry but for this one thing that Jiang Cheng for the life of him cannot figure out. Whenever they part, Jin Ling's last words to him are always I love you.

Wei Ying gets sad sometimes, but not like Jiujiu gets sad. Jiujiu gets sad and hides with anger- Wei Ying gets sad and hides it with happy, or just plain hides. Wei Ying says Jiujiu is grieving, he hasn't moved on from his sister, and privately Jin Ling thinks Wei Ying must not have either.

Wei Ying is his godfather, his favorite teacher in the whole wide world, his ghost friend who promised his mother he would keep Jin Ling safe.

Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is the Yiling Patriarch. Wei Wuxian killed his parents, raised the dead, bringer of hell and master of puppets and in a realm of nothing but evil Wei Wuxian reigns king.

Jin Ling doesn't actually remember what did it, in the end. Which idle remark lined up too perfectly with history lessons, or who said some random little fact, but in the end he's twelve when he realizes that Wuxian was a courtesy name and Wei Ying looks exactly like him.

This is how Jin Ling learns that the man who's saved his life too many times to count (and he always ran when his godfather asked, he never wondered how he got rid of so many monsters-) is the same man who destroyed it in the first place.

He wants to hate him. He tries to hate him.

He can't. The Jiangs say attempt the impossible- not achieve it. He attempted it. He failed.

Wei Wuxian is Wei Ying, and Wei Wuxian is suddenly, uncomfortably human. He lost everything, and he lost everything first, before anyone else lost everything to him.

Wei Wuxian is the only person who tells stories about Jin Ling's parents. He never forgave himself, he never moved on, but still Jin Ling remembers his ghost plastering on a smile and telling him about how his mother fished Jiujiu out of a river.

Jin Ling turns thirteen and starts asking his godfather about the Sunshot Campaign, and what the hell even happened to set it off anyways. Wei Wuxian tells him amidst archery practice, and Jin Ling is fifteen years old when Wei Wuxian smiles- a real smile, a proud smile, tinged with nothing but that pride, no sadness, no melancholy- and tells him he just surpassed his father and Wei Wuxian both.

Jin Ling is sixteen when Wei Wuxian vanishes, and he is still sixteen when he finds him again and meets Wen Ning who was set up but is still kind of the guy who killed his dad (it's a mess) and then Jiujiu asks him who his new friend is, and Jin Ling answers truthfully.

"He's my favorite teacher and he's saved my life too many times to count."

Then the mask comes off and there's a lot of shouting. Like. A lot of shouting. Then it turns out that Wei Wuxian and Hanguang-jun are a two pack, and Jin Ling gains an uncle, a couch to crash on when his family is being his family, and the ability to spend way too much time at Cloud Recesses with Sizhui and Jingyi.

Sizhui who is Wen Yuan.

...

Eh. Wen Ning is cool. He's glad Sizhui has a cool uncle to offset his disaster dads.

[lansplaining]

thinking about jiang cheng raising sizhui and was like ‘hmm it’d have to be CQL canon or else the burial mounds stuff gets reaaaally messy’ and then i thought ‘right, so, into the mess then’ 

- Jiang Yuan has been sitting quietly in his room ever since he left the banquet hall.

It happened by accident. Some cultivators on a night hunt near Yunmeng passed through Lotus Pier to pay their respects to Sandu Shengshou. Uncle Jiang hated these kinds of transparently groveling visits, but they were invited to stay for supper anyway, and when the meal devolved into compliments to the host, his brave deeds, how he devised and led the Siege of the Burial Mounds and slaughtered every Wen-dog to cross his path. 

Jiang Yuan-- born Wen Yuan-- waited until the course of the conversation had slightly shifted, so he would not be suspected, and quietly excused himself, claiming he felt suddenly ill. 

He knew, of course, in an abstract sort of way, that there was a reason Uncle Jiang was at the Burial Mounds to find him in the first place, and it wasn’t because he was just taking a pleasant stroll. But it was different to hear it. Once it’s been said, you can’t pretend not to know. 

So he sits quietly in his room, partly because he doesn’t know where else to go or what else to do, and partly because he knows there’s no way Uncle Jiang didn’t see him leave the hall. 

Night has definitively fallen by the time Uncle Jiang appears. Jiang Yuan braces himself to be yelled at for leaving the banquet, but instead Uncle Jiang stands silently in the doorway for a few moments, then thrusts a letter at him. Jiang Yuan takes it.

“Sir?” he says, confused. 

“I’m told Hanguang-jun is usually in private meditation or out on night hunts, so it may be a while before you can speak to him. Don’t let anyone convince you to give them that letter, he’s the only one who can see it.” 

Jiang Yuan stares blankly at the letter, the purple silk ribbons tying it. “I don’t understand.”

“Cloud Recesses isn’t anything like Lotus Pier, you’ll need to be ready to do what you’re told and not ask questions. But Hanguang-jun’ll look out for you. That letter explains.” 

“But-- I’m too young for the lectures.” And what does that have to do with anything? Where is this coming from? A spasm of fear seizes him. “Did-- did those cultivators guess who I--” 

“No,” Uncle Jiang cuts in. “They did not. They…” He clenches and unclenches his fists. “You can tell people I said I thought your cultivation style would suit the Lan techniques better. There’s a rule against lying there but-- now I’ve said it, so it’s not a lie to say I did. Nobody will be allowed to think you were thrown out of Lotus Pier. When you’re a little older, you can tell people whatever you want.” 

Jiang Yuan does not reply. He stops, takes a moment to sift what Uncle Jiang says from what he really means, a process of translation that Jin Ling can undertake instantly but he always needs a moment to be sure of. 

“You think I want to leave…?” 

He looks up, and Uncle Jiang finally meets his eyes, his mouth turned down into a scowl. 

“I can’t ask you to forgive me,” he says. 

No. The history they’re taught is written in the blood of revenge: a father is killed and a son must seek retribution. The light of Jiang Cheng’s formidable golden core was fueled by the fire of vengeance for the deaths of his parents, for the near-fall of his sect. 

Jiang Yuan is not as quick at it as Jin Ling, but he has learned to read the things Uncle Jiang means and won’t say. He has no courtesy name yet, because Jiang Cheng says that is for his father to give. A few months ago, he gruffly introduced Jiang Yuan to a cultivator who would teach him to play the dizi. 

Jiang Yuan, who has always done as he should, tries. He tries to imagine the light inside of him is a dark flame of hate. Many people hate Sect Leader Jiang. 

The golden core that Uncle Jiang helped him grow hums warm and steady within him, and the flame will not spark.

[antebunny]

the mysterious adventures of mo xuanyu

Continuation of this post.

The second time that Lan Sizhui meets Mo Xuanyu, he is again on a night hunt with Jingyi.

“Ah, the young masters are too late,” the head villager says when they arrive. “Two rogue cultivators took care of our problem just a few hours ago! They’re in the tavern, I believe, if the young masters want to meet them.”

So Lan Sizhui and Jingyi head over to the tavern, where they find the two mysterious rogue cultivators, one dressed in black and one dressed in white, sitting at a table and eating dinner. Everyone turns and looks when the two Lan cultivators step inside, and Lan Sizhui finds himself making eye contact with the strange demonic cultivator outcast from the Mo Manor nighthunt a few months ago. Clearly the man recognizes him as well, because his face lights up.

“Ah! The baby Lans!” Mo Xuanyu waves them over brightly.

Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi head over to his table, nonplussed by his greeting.

“Hello, Senior Mo,” Lan Sizhui begins politely, only to get interrupted.

“What did I tell you?” Mo Xuanyu cries victoriously, elbowing his companion. “Senior Mo! They’re so cute!”

Lan Sizhui feels his cheeks flush, but he pushes on anyway. “The villagers said you were responsible for eliminating the ghouls in this area?”

“Ahaha, that was nothing,” Mo Xuanyu says, frantically waving his arms in the air like he can ward off the accusation.

Jingyi huffs. “Seriously?”

“I’m dead serious,” Mo Xuanyu’s companion says, and Mo Xuanyu chokes on his tea.

“Sorry, sorry,” Mo Xuanyu says, once he’s done exhaling hot tea. “This is my, uh, companion, Mo Qionglin. Mo Qionglin, these are the Lan juniors I was telling you about! Lan, uh…Jing…li? Uh.”

“This one is Lan Sizhui,” Lan Sizhui steps in, rescuing Mo Xuanyu from further embarrassment. “My friend is Lan Jingyi.”

“Right! Sizhui and Jingyi,” Mo Xuanyu says proudly, like he’s the one who remembered.

Lan Sizhui studies Mo Xuanyu and Mo Qionglin. They’re an enigma, this pair of rogue cultivators. Mo Xuanyu went from a hapless, helpless loon running around and causing chaos in Mo Manor, to a focused and confident demonic cultivator that easily subdued a demonic arm that Gusu Lan’s Head Disciple and Lan Jingyi couldn’t deal with. Mo Qionglin (and Sizhui thought that all the living Mos had died?) looks pasty, unhealthily pale, even in this dim tavern light. Perhaps he’s a demonic cultivator too; Lan Sizhui can’t see a sword on either of them, just a flute carried by Mo Xuanyu.

And that’s not even counting his father’s inexplicable reaction to Mo Xuanyu.

“S-sorry for stealing your nighthunt,” Mo Qionglin offers meekly. “We didn’t know you were coming. It was no trouble for W–uh. Um. X-Xuanyu and I.”

Lan Jingyi huffs, but resigned this time. “Whatever,” he says. He puffs out his chest. “We don’t do it for the money anyway.”

“Of course, of course,” Mo Xuanyu agrees easily. “Did the arm give you any trouble?”

“It is, actually,” Lan Sizhui admits.

His father wanted to track down Mo Xuanyu (though Lan Sizhui isn’t sure why–his father usually deals with demonic cultivators on a case by case basis, and Mo Xuanyu seemed like the type that his father would let go), but got sidetracked by the demonic arm when it broke its seals. Now he’s off on a self-assigned mission to solve the mystery of the demonic arm, and Sizhui hasn’t heard from him in weeks.

“But my father is taking care of it,” Lan Sizhui finishes.

“Who’s your father?” Mo Xuanyu asks curiously, and Lan Sizhui flushes. He usually knows better than to refer to his father as his father outside of the Cloud Recesses, but he was thinking of his father  as his father when he answered–but really, that’s no excuse.

“Hanguang-jun,” Lan Jingyi answers for him–boasts for him, really, and Lan Sizhui flushes pink again.

“Hanguang-jun!” Mo Xuanyu’s eyebrows attempt to climb out of his forehead. “Hanguang-jun has a son?” He sounds almost personally offended, and it makes Lan Sizhui wonder again at his father’s intense reaction to Mo Xuanyu.

“Yes,” Lan Jingyi says, defensively on behalf of Lan Sizhui. He puffs up his chest again, ready to start yelling when Mo Xuanyu continues on to: but not actually his son, right?

“I didn’t know Hanguang-jun got married,” Mo Xuanyu says instead, wonderingly. Lan Sizhui wonders if he should correct Mo Xuanyu, and then decides it’s more trouble than it’s worth. When Mo Xuanyu smiles again, it’s pained, and Mo Qionglin pats his hand comfortingly. “Well, you’re very lucky,” Mo Xuanyu says firmly.

Lan Sizhui nods and ducks his head, blushing for the third time in as many minutes.

“Speaking of Hanguang-jun,” Mo Xuanyu says, eyes losing their mirth, “you didn’t tell him about the demonic cultivation, did you?”

“Of course we did,” Lan Jingyi says immediately. “Why wouldn’t we?”

Mo Xuanyu’s smile drops. “Well, uh,” he says, scratching the back of his head. “I know the Lans don’t exactly think highly of demonic cultivators…”

“But you helped us,” Lan Jingyi points out. “You saved our lives! You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Still,” Mo Xuanyu continues doggedly. “I’m sure your elders don’t want you associating with people like me.”

“That’s true,” Lan Jingyi admits. “This is what Do not associate with evil is supposed to mean, isn’t it?”

“Senior Mo is not evil,” Lan Sizhui argues. Then he sighs. “But there’s another rule for not associating with demonic cultivators.”

“Another rule?” Mo Xuanyu’s eyebrows shoot up again. “How many rules are there?”

“Almost 4,000,” Lan Jingyi replies.

“Four thousand?” Mo Xuanyu gapes. He shakes his head. “It’s like everytime I turn around there’s another thousand rules.”

“I know,” Lan Jingyi commiserates.

“Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui hisses, mortified. This feels like spilling Lan secrets with strangers, even if it’s not.

“What?” Lan Jingyi says. “Have you been to Gusu, Senior Mo?”

Mo Xuanyu’s eyes widen almost comically. “What? Me? No! Haha, why would I ever go there? I’ve just, uh, heard of the famed rules of the Lans! They’re quite famous, don’t you know?”

“Actually,” Lan Sizhui says, ignoring Mo Xuanyu’s inexplicable frantic denial, “my father wants to meet you.”

“Ha–Hanguang-jun?” Mo Xuanyu’s eyes widen even further. “Why? Is this about my demonic cultivation?”

“No!” Lan Jingyi says immediately. “He’s not Sect Leader Jiang!”

“W-what’s wrong with Sect Leader Jiang?” Mo Qionglin asks.

“He hates demonic cultivators,” Lan Jingyi confides. “If you’re planning on nighthunting–don’t go to Yunmeng. Sect Leader Jiang tracks down demonic cultivators personally and drags them to Lotus Pier, and they never come back out.”

“Ah.” Mo Xuanyu’s smile is weak. “Good to…know.”

“Jingyi,” Lan Sizhui reproaches. “Don’t gossip.”

“It’s not gossip!” Jingyi protests. “I’m telling Seniors Mo some very important information.”

Lan Sizhui holds back a sigh. “That’s not why Hanguang-jun wants to meet you,” he says, putting the Jiang Wanyin gossip aside. “I believe he wants to thank you personally,” he continues, perhaps fibbing the truth a little–but not lying!

Mo Xuanyu waves his arms frantically again. “There’s no need!” He insisted hastily. “You can tell Hanguang-jun there’s no need, really, it was my pleasure, there’s no need for Hanguang-jun to come looking for little ol’ me, i-in fact I think we have another nighthunt to get to, right Mo Qionglin? But nice seeing you so long catch you later bye!”

Mo Xuanyu drags his friend out of their seats and almost sprints out of the tavern. Lan Sizhui gets whiplash watching him run out the door. He and Lan Jingyi can only gape as Mo Xuanyu and Mo Qionglin vanish into the night like they’re running from vengeful ghosts. Like they’re running from their pasts.

[ibijau]

here we go, last fic of the year! It’s Lan Sizhui/Jin Ling, a/b/o, set in the same universe as Petrichor, but can be read as a stand alone :)

Someday, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi are going to get married.

It is not something that anybody really talks about, and more an accepted fact of life. They have been friends for as long as they can remember, they are both in good position for being sect leader after Lan Xichen, they work well as a team. At fifteen, Lan Sizhui presented as an alpha. Some months later, Lan Jingyi surprised everyone by presenting as an omega, and that settled things. People around them started talking about them as an established couple in spite of their youth, because they’d never have been so close if they were not somehow fated, right?

Neither of them minds. Not really. It’s convenient for everyone after all.

“It’s not like I’m what anyone wants in an omega,” Lan Jingyi points out when, one day, Lan Sizhui asks him if he’s really okay with that. “Aside from you, I’ve never met an alpha I didn’t want to punch in the face after five minutes. Even betas I can barely stand.”

“Hanguang-Jun too?”

“Hanguang-Jun is way above everyone else, beta or alpha or anything,” Lan Jingyi protests. “I guess I could marry him, if he wanted…”

Grimacing at the thought, Lan Sizhui elbows his friend in the ribs, but that only makes him laugh.

“I’d become your new dad,” Lan Jingyi insists with starry eyes. “Would you call me dad, daddy, or father?” 

Lan Sizhui rolls his eyes. He should have known that his friend wouldn’t take the conversation seriously. Still, he feels a little better about the situation. Lan Jingyi isn’t without his faults, but he isn’t one to bottle up his emotions. If he really minded that everyone assumes they’re an item, he would have jumped on the chance to say so.

That’s good enough for Lan Sizhui. He doesn’t want romance. He’s seen what he did to his father, to his uncle, leaving one branded by shame and the other broken for years. It just doesn’t feel worth the trouble. What Lan Jingyi and him have isn’t the stuff of great stories, sure, but it’s stable and it's safe. Security is far more important than something as ridiculous as love.

-

 When Lan Sizhui is nineteen, there starts being talk of making their engagement into something formal. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren ask them to give it serious consideration. They are both orphans, so there is no direct pressure put on them, but Lan Sizhui gets the impression that Lan Qiren at least is particularly in favour of the match. Neither of his nephews has had children, and they're unlikely to ever do, between Lan Wangji's character and Lan Xichen's delicate situation. Lan Sizhui isn't a Lan by blood, but he is well liked by juniors and elders alike. Lan Jingyi doesn't have that diplomacy, but he is a cousin to the Lan jades. If they get together, it would avoid the risk of disputes when the time comes to choose a new sect leader: they can just rule conjointly and leave it at that. Lan Xichen is less insistent than his uncle, and says it's important they choose carefully. It's clear, though, that he doesn't disagree with Lan Qiren's position.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji doesn’t like this.

He doesn’t say so, because he wants Lan Sizhui to make his own choices in life, and he will support his son through anything as long as it is not endangering his life. Still, he radiates disapproval when Lan Sizhui reports on that conversation with his uncle and great-uncle.

Most people wouldn’t guess, but Lan Wangji is a romantic at heart.

Lan Sizhui isn’t. 

Well. He tries hard not to be.

But now that this engagement business is turning into something serious, he’s a little less sure about it.

It is nice, of course, to know exactly what the future holds. There's comfort in that. Lan Sizhui likes knowing what to expect, he likes safety, he likes knowing that tomorrow will be very much like today.

And he loves Lan Jingyi of course. They’ve been friends for years, and they know each other better than anyone else. But it’s not the sort of love that makes them want to kiss and get in bed together. He’s sure of that, because they’ve tried kissing once or twice, to see how that’d feel, and it was just weird. Lan Jingyi's smell, like grass freshly cut and summer warmth, doesn't evoke any strong desire in him. That's a problem because if they get married, they’ll have to make love. And it’s not that Lan Jingyi is ugly or misshapen or anything, but the idea doesn’t sit right. All Lan Sizhui can hope for is that when they’re bonded, once his ruts and Lan Jingyi’s heats coincide, it’ll sort itself out.

(that still leaves the issue of that initial bonding, but if Lan Sizhui doesn’t think about it, then it’s not an issue)

It’s a comfort of sorts when the morning after they talked to Lan Qiren, Lan Jingyi looks as awkward about the situation as Lan Sizhui feels.

“Are we really doing this?” Lan Jingyi whispers to him, even though they’re in class and really shouldn’t be talking at all, least of all about something like that.

“If you want,” Lan Sizhui replies, his voice as low as possible to avoid attracting Lan Qiren’s attention. “We still have time to decide.”

“Yeah, right. I mean, it could be worse, right? We get along fine, we know that already.”

It is a blessing indeed. Most people in their position would just be dumped into an arranged marriage, and consider themselves lucky to not end up with someone they despise.

Still, Lan Sizhui is glad that they don’t have to give an answer right away.

-

When they meet Jin Ling on Dafan Mountain, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi immediately agree that he is a bit of a spoiled brat.

It’s no surprise of course. The only heir to a sect like Lanling Jin, with also some rights over Yunmeng Jiang? It would have taken the world’s best parents to prevent that boy from being a little rotten, and as everyone knows well, Jin Ling doesn’t have parents.

In truth, Lan Sizhui feels a little sorry for him, not least of all because that boy is related to Jiang Wanyin, and Lan Sizhui pities anyone who must deal with that man on a regular basis. Only a truly awful person could be so disliked by Lan Wangji.

It’s also quickly apparent that Jin Ling is, for lack of a better term, a little awkward. He reacts to Lan Jingyi’s light teasing as if he was being insulted (in fairness, Lan Jingyi sometimes walks a fine line between the two, and he’s a little on edge after that business in Mo village) and takes himself far too seriously. He is also impossibly stubborn, and surprisingly reckless for someone so aware of his own self-importance.

“What a brat that was,” Lan Jingyi complains on the way back to Cloud Recesses. “No need to question what he’ll present as, he’s got alpha written all over his face.”

“No gossiping,” Lan Sizhui reminds him, his eyes darting toward Lan Wangji who, thankfully, pays them no mind. All his attention is on that lunatic he has decided to protect from Jiang Wanyin. “And you can’t go guessing at people’s fate like that. Sect leader Lan doesn’t look like an omega, does he? You just never know until it’s there.”

Lan Jingyi takes a moment to consider that.

“He is spoiled and prissy enough that he could be an omega,” he concedes, as if that’s the point Lan Sizhui was trying to make. “Still, I’m betting on alpha, and a very annoying one at that. I hope we never have to see him again.”

“Sect Leader Jin has no child of his own, so Jin Rulan is his heir. Of course we’re going to see him again.”

The face Lan Jingyi makes at the news is such that Lan Sizhui can’t help laughing a little too loud. Lan Wangji turns to look at him, curious more than scolding. That odd man on the donkey, Mo Xuanyu, also looks at them as if he wants to join in the fun, but dares not because of Lan Wangji keeping a close eye on him.

It’s funny, Lan Sizhui thinks. His father doesn’t usually care much about people. He likes the juniors, especially all the ones whose education he had a part in, but people he meets when they’re already adults, or people close to his age… if at all possible, Lan Wangji just ignores them. Maybe he feels sorry for Mo Xuanyu, who seems to have had a rough life? Or maybe it’s something else. Mo Xuanyu has an eccentric personality, but Lan Sizhui too can’t help feeling a certain sympathy for this very odd omega.

-

They meet Jin Ling again far sooner than Lan Sizhui would have expected, and if betting weren't forbidden, Lan Jingyi would have won. In the short time since they saw him, Jin Ling has presented as an alpha. 

It's no surprise, of course. Although there are exceptions, people born within the main branch of a clan are almost always alphas, at least for the first few children. Aside from sect leader Lan who is an omega and sect leader Nie who is a beta, even within the smallest sects there's hardly any ruler that's not an alpha. 

It does make a complicated situation a little worse. Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and a group of juniors were on a trip to a Night Hunt when they started being led astray by dead cats and mysteries. They then met juniors from other sects, as well as Jin Ling, travelling alone, who immediately tries to be in charge. Lan Sizhui calmly puts an end to that. It's not unusual for a young alpha, especially one still getting used to changes in their body. He can't even control his smell at all, sweet and flowery with a hint of spice which Lan Jingyi complains is making him nauseous.

It's all normal, of course. Lan Sizhui too had a brief phase where he tested everyone's patience. So for Jin Ling who is already hot-headed and proud… 

To make it worse, Lan Jingyi won't stop arguing with Jin Ling. They can't go five minutes without getting into a fight of some sort. They snap at each other about the road to take, the inn to stay at, how loud Jin Ling's dog barks, Mo Xuanyu's donkey, whether to warn their respective sects or not… If a disagreement can be had, they will have it. 

At first, Lan Sizhui tries to intervene. Someone has to make sure that these two don't throttle each other. He knows that Lan Jingyi is no delicate flower and can take anyone in a fight, but he still has a responsibility as the oldest alpha present, so he gently puts Jin Ling in his place when needed. Surprisingly, Jin Ling usually backs off pretty easily once Lan Sizhui gets involved in a dispute. Lan Sizhui really expected that they would come to blows at least once. That too would be normal, especially since Jin Ling is obviously aching for a chance to prove himself, but it never happens. 

After a few days, Lan Sizhui doesn't bother stopping the fights anymore. Jin Ling shouts a lot and plays tough, but he never displays any sign of real aggression towards anyone. If anything he seems to have fun when Lan Jingyi and him argue with each other, and the opposite is just as true. 

Maybe that's just how Jin Ling plays, Lan Sizhui figures. He really is a very awkward boy after all. Already back on Dafan Mountain he was so brash and haughty with everyone. He was also alone back then, with only his uncle and other adults around him. Now too, he is the only one who doesn't have anyone from his clan with him. He has his dog, sure, but that's not the same. 

"Be nice to him," Lan Sizhui tells Lan Jingyi after yet another dispute, one where he had to intervene for the first time in a while. "I don't think he has a lot of friends." 

"You bet he doesn't. He treated Ouyang Zizhen like dirt just because he's a beta! Who'd want to be friends with someone like that? He could be tolerable if he just stopped acting like such a little mistress, but I guess that's too much to ask. Between the two of us, you wouldn't think I'm the omega." 

It's a little unkind to both boys, but part of Sizhui almost agrees. Lan Jingyi has never really behaved the way people expect an omega to do, and as for Jin Ling… with his pretty, boyish face, his elegant flowery smell, and the way he always backs off the instant Lan Sizhui gets involved in a fight, he could somewhat feel like an omega. 

Except he only behaves like that with Lan Sizhui. With everyone else, he pushes for dominance as much as he can, and he's so stubborn, from a sect so powerful, that even older alphas in their group have started bowing to him. 

It's weird, really. Lan Sizhui doesn't know what to make of it. 

"He'll never learn to play nice if you don't show him how," Lan Sizhui says after some thought. "Don't think I haven't noticed you're the one starting half those fights. If you don't like him, just stay away. It's wrong to pick fights without reasons." 

Lan Jingyi shrugs, which is against the rules because it is insolent. 

“He likes it when I bother him,” Lan Jingyi boldly accuses. “Being half raised by someone like Jiang Cheng…”

“Jiang Wanyin.”

“Raised by someone like Jiang Wanyin in a place like Lotus Piers, that little mistress must think shouting at people is how you behave around others. Don’t you remember how his uncle was on Dafan mountain? Scolding him and telling him to succeed at his hunt or die trying, and then coming to save him at the first sign of trouble… no wonder the little mistress is so annoying, he learned from the best.”

That had struck Lan Sizhui as well, mostly because of the risks Jin Ling had been willing to take after being shouted at. As if he really feared that his uncle wouldn’t let him come home again if he couldn’t kill the monster. He can’t imagine being uncertain of his family’s love like that. Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, and even Lan Qiren would never, ever threaten Lan Sizhui in such a manner, and even if they did he would know better than to take the words literally.

He really feels sorry for that boy.

“Just try to be nicer,” he insists. “Teach by example. He’ll be sect leader someday, we really shouldn’t be antagonising him this way.”

The sect leader argument works. It usually does. Lan Jingyi promises to make an effort.

There’s no argument until early afternoon the next day and in fairness to Lan Jingyi, that does count as progress.

-

Yi-City is not a fun place, not by far. There’s thick billowing fog, there’s fierce corpses, half their group gets poisoned, Mo Xuanyu tricks them into eating the worst food they’ve ever tasted by calling it a cure… Lan Sizhui isn’t one to complain (it is against the rules) but he comes very, very close a few times. 

When it’s over, he tells himself that it’s a great learning experience. Mo Xuanyu is eccentric, but definitely not mad, and he knows far more about fighting evil than anyone Lan Sizhui has ever met, except maybe Lan Wangji. He is a little… brusque with them, pushing around the group of juniors and clearly delighting in scaring them a little if he feels it’s good for their education. But he is kind as well. He’s trying to hide it, but there’s a certain gentleness in the way Mo Xuanyu behaves around Jin Ling that he doesn’t really have with the rest of them.

To Lan Sizhui’s surprise, the reverse is equally true. Jin Ling grumbles and complains and stomps his foot, but he seems to like Mo Xuanyu and tries to help him whenever the chance arises. Seeing these two interact makes something go a little soft in Lan Sizhui’s chest. 

It’s nice when family can reconnect.

-

After everything that happened in Yi City, Lan Wangji allows them a little celebration. They get to burn colourful paper money and to organise a little party of sorts at an inn, without any adult supervision, too. Lan Wangji and Mo Xuanyu have retired for the night, presumably to discuss everything that has happened and decide on their next move. Lan Sizhui half wishes he could be involved in that conversation, but that’s mostly because he knows he’s supposed to want to be serious and grown up. In truth, being down here in the dining room with the others is a lot more fun.

While all the other juniors mingle together, Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui find themselves at a table a little away from the rest, in the company of Ouyang Zizhen and Jin Ling.

“We’re all future Sect Leaders, so it makes sense to sit together, right?” Ouyang Zizhen explains, boldly glossing over the fact that his sect is nowhere near the size of theirs. “And from here, we’ve got a good view of the entire room, so we can make sure that nobody misbehaves.”

“I never realised you were so serious,” Lan Jingyi sneers. “Senior Mo complimented you once, so now you want to be praised by him again?”

“You’re just jealous,” Ouyang Zizhen retorts with a grin. “Who is that man, anyway? He’s not dressed like any sect I know, but for Hanguang-Jun to respect him like this…”

“He’s just some crazy loon,” Lan Jingyi claims. “We met him a while back.”

Then, since Ouyang Zizhen expresses interest, Lan Jingyi starts telling him the whole story of their encounter with Mo Xuanyu. Lan Sizhui, who was there, allows himself to check out from the conversation and eats a little. He is startled when after a few moments, someone drops mushrooms in his bowl. 

"Don't like those," Jin Ling huffs. "And you ate yours first." 

"They're my favourite," Lan Sizhui admits, a little embarrassed at being caught like that. Being a picky eater and indulging in preferences is frowned upon, but he is only human.

"Can't see why," Jin Ling mutters. "They're slimy and disgusting. Do you want the rest of mine as well?" 

It's a testament to how engrossed he is in his conversation with Ouyang Zizhen that Lan Jingyi doesn't pick up on that extremely rude offer. Lan Sizhui almost wants to remark on Jin Ling's manners, but decides against it and just nods. It's obvious the other boy is trying to be nice, and that must be encouraged. 

After the mushrooms are unceremoniously dumped in Lan Sizhui's bowl, Jin Ling insistently stares at him while he eats. He looks angry, but Lan Sizhui has figured by now that's just his normal face. 

“Earlier… you fought decently,” Jin Ling suddenly says, in a tone that makes it sound like it hurts him to say even that weak of a compliment.

“You did well yourself,” Lan Sizhui replies far more earnestly. Lan Wangji has taught him the importance of encouraging good behaviours rather than to just punish bad ones, and Jin Ling is definitely making an effort here. Besides, he did fight surprisingly well, considering his age. “I hope we can go on more Night Hunts together. Although perhaps next time, let’s go somewhere a little less dangerous, at least until we’re experienced enough.”

Jin Ling's face does something funny, like he's happy and angry at the same time. It's kind of cute, if Lan Sizhui is honest.

"Oh we should all four go Night Hunting together!" Ouyang Zizhen exclaims. "We're friends now, right?" 

"That sounds right," Lan Sizhui quickly agrees before Jin Ling has a chance to say something rude. "I know I'd love to spend more time with the two of you. Hopefully next time, we won't be put in mortal danger." 

Lan Jingyi laughs at that, but more importantly Jin Ling begrudgingly admits that he too wouldn't be against another inter-sect Night Hunt, even though he looked ready to protest when it was Ouyang Zizhen offering it. It seems he really respects Lan Sizhui's authority as an older alpha though, and that's extremely flattering. 

-

The next time they see each other they are, in fact, in mortal danger again. 

It bothers Lan Sizhui less than it should, but only because there's something odd about this cave they're trapped in. Some of the other juniors trapped with them say this is the Burial Mounds, but that's… There's such an air of familiarity to this place, and yet Lan Sizhui knows he's never come here before. Unlike some others in his generation, Lan Wangji has never been one to go on grimly triumphant pilgrimages to those places where the cultivation world rose as one against evil. Lan Sizhui has never seen Yiling, nor even Nightless City.

Still, this cave… it shouldn’t be so bare, nor so silent. There is a wrongness to that silence. Lan Sizhui cannot explain why, but he feels like this place should have more life to it.

He cannot explain either why it seems so right to see Mo Xuanyu… ah, no, Wei wuxian step inside, followed by his Ghost General and Lan Wangji. Something falls in place inside Lan Sizhui’s soul, a certain sensation that things are as they should be. Seeing these three together, in this place… Lan Sizhui half wants to cry, and he can’t explain why.

That unbidden and unexplained surge of emotions must be why he eventually snaps at one of Jin Ling’s cousins. Lan Sizhui feels a little guilty over it, although in fairness, that boy deserves his anger. He insulted Hanguang-Jun, which was unacceptable, and Wei Wuxian which… for some reason was equally unpleasant. And for the entire time they’d been there, Jin Chan had been irritating, somehow unable to say two words without finding a reason to be mean to everyone around him, especially to Jin Ling.

Of course Lan Sizhui lost patience. He doesn’t like when people are cruel to his friends.

-

That protectiveness becomes a problem a few hours later.

So much has happened in a short span of time, they’ve been rescued, they’ve been attacked, there have been accusations and betrayal, there’s been…

Lan Sizhui feels sick to his bones when the bloodied corpses of dead Wens emerge from a bloody pond to protect Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, but not in the way he thinks he’s supposed to feel sick. His chest aches looking at those horrifying shapes, and if Lan Jingyi hadn’t stopped him, he would have walked to them because if he could just see their face, if he could take their hands… but he doesn’t get the chance, and they crumble into dust before he can figure out why those dead people felt like they were his, just like Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian do.

Lan Sizhui is still confused when they get down the mountain to climb onto some boats, and exhausted as well. So when Jin Ling starts acting up about Wen Ning, shouting and letting his flowery smell invade the space around him, Lan Sizhui doesn’t react as gracefully as he might have otherwise. 

He hates seeing anyone being cruel to Wen Ning who he knows, with the greatest certainty, is a kind soul who only ever means to care for those he loves. Lan Sizhui can’t help wanting to shield him from those who would harm him, because someone has to, and auntie isn’t here to do it anymore.

At the same time, Jin Ling’s pain hurts as well. There’s something unbearable about seeing him break into tears, about the betrayed looks he shoots at Lan Sizhui for daring to side with his father’s murderer.

They’d been getting along so well, they’d made such a great team fighting those fierce corpses earlier, but now it’s all gone. Lan Sizhui wonders if Jin Ling will ever forgive him for standing at the Ghost General’s side, and nearly wants to cry as well when he realises the answer is probably going to be no. He wants to reach out to Jin Ling and explain he doesn’t mean to hurt him, that they can still be friends, that he just can’t let Wen Ning be hurt again.

Before Lan Sizhui can move, Jiang Cheng calls his nephew from another boat, and demands Jin Ling join him. The order is promptly obeyed, Jin Ling turning away without so much as a last look at Lan Sizhui.

Lan Sizhui sits down, and tells himself if his heart and head hurt so bad, it’s only out of exhaustion.

-

When everything is over, when Jin Guangyao is dead, Lan Sizhui gets to hug the man he once thought of as his father when he was really little, and to see him stand happy at the side of the other man who raised him. Things have been an awful mess, but Lan Sizhui is so happy for both of them.

Nobody deserves happiness more than Lan Wangji, and even though they don’t know each other too well, Lan Sizhui really likes Wei Wuxian a lot.

Leaving those two to explore what the future can bring them, Lan Sizhui instead takes a trip to the past as he decides to accompany Wen Ning.

First of all, they go to the Burial Mounds once again, this time to gather the ashes of their family. Their people, who paid the price of being on the wrong side of a war they didn’t even want. Lan Sizhui still doesn’t really remember much, but he likes hearing Wen Ning telling him stories about them. It makes him feel a little more complete, even though he never particularly felt like anything was missing from his life until that day in Mo manor.

After giving their relatives a proper burial, they head toward Nightless City, or what’s left of it anyway. Here too, Wen Ning has stories to tell, some of which are happier than Lan Sizhui would have expected. It feels wrong to hear that Wen Ruohan wasn’t always a monster, that he was also a man who loved his sons and played with them when they were children. Lan Sizhui was never taught to fear and hate the Yiling Patriarch as much as others of his generation, but he’s heard plenty about the horror committed by Wen Ruohan and struggles to accept that he, too, was only a man after all.

He wonders if that is how Jin Ling feels about Wen Ning.

In fact, Lan Sizhui thinks a lot about Jin Ling as the weeks pass. Whatever judgement he ever felt for the younger alpha regarding his attitude to Wen Ning has melted away now, replaced by deep sympathy. Jin Ling is only fourteen, and Wen Ning did kill his father, so it’s normal that he would feel so angry. Some things cannot be forgiven. And now that Lan Sizhui is a Wen too, he figures that there’s no friendship possible between them, not after how much sorry his family has caused Jin Ling’s.

For some reason, Lan Sizhui realises he is truly upset about this. He had really been looking forward to knowing Jin Ling better, because while Lan Jingyi is an amazing friend, he’s still not an alpha, and there are things he doesn’t understand. Lan Jingyi now has Ouyang Zizhen to chat with, who as a beta is in a good position to lend an ear, but Lan Sizhui doesn’t really have any close alphas in his life.

He really wanted to be close to Jin Ling.

It won’t happen now.

It’s fine.

At least now, he has a family.

-

Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui have just finished a Night Hunt far into what was once Wen territory when news from the Cloud Recesses reach them. They learn that Lan Xichen, a little while after the events that unfolded in Yunping City, entered seclusion. They learn also that Lan Wangji has married Wei Wuxian, who is rumoured to be with child. Without even needing to talk about it, they immediately start heading back toward Gusu. Lan Sizhui has always thought it would be nice to have a sibling, and now that wish is about to be granted.

By the time they get to the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian is very, very round and very, very upset that he’s being restricted left and right. He’s not allowed a number of his favourite foods, he’s not allowed to experiment with talismans, or to run around, or even to read for too long.

“It is the worst,” Wei Wuxian whines from his bed, surrounded by pillows, nibbling on some snacks that Lan Wangji brought him when he served tea for all of them. “I have never suffered so much in my life. Sizhui, if you marry an omega, you’re forbidden from knocking them up, it is just too awful.”

Lan Sizhui almost snorts in his tea. He glances at Lan Wangji who is watching Wei Wuxian with open adoration, at least for who knows how to read his expressions.

It makes his heart ache that he will probably never know that sort of love. After all, he’s still half engaged to Lan Jingyi as far as he knows. And aside from his best friend, who’d want to marry him? He isn’t sure if he’s still allowed to be part of Gusu Lan. He isn’t sure he still wants to be part of it, now that he knows the truth… and it’s always a little hard for an alpha without resources to marry. Jingyi would, of course, because he’s loyal like that, but Lan Sizhui feels he should insist on dropping whatever understanding existed between them. It would be kinder.

Luckily, when Lan Jingyi comes to see him that evening, he is of a similar opinion.

As the two of them walk toward the rabbits’ clearing to feed them and chat alone, Lan Jingyi starts explaining, very awkwardly, that he won’t be able to marry Lan Sizhui after all.

“It’s Zizhen, you see,” he mumbles when they reach the clearing, his entire face red. “We’ve gone on a few Night Hunts after you left, and we get along really well, and… well, Lan Qiren isn’t too happy about it because he was still hoping on me being Zewu-Jun��s heir rather than Hanguang-Jun’s child, but of course Zizhen is going to inherit his father’s sect someday, it’s so messy when two sect leaders are married! He was still trying to push for that, but then that thing with sect leader Nie and Zewu-Jun happened, and Lan Qiren is seeing what a mess that is, so he’s warming up to the idea of me marrying into Baling Ouyang.”

Kneeling down to hand some cabbage to a particularly bold rabbit, Lan Sizhui shoots his friend a curious look.

“What about Zewu-Jun and sect leader Nie?”

“Oh, right, you wouldn’t have heard!” Lan Jingyi exclaims, startling the poor rabbit and making it run. He sits down next to Lan Sizhui, and grins. “Listen, gossip’s forbidden and all that, but… you’ve heard that Zewu-Jun was marked in his youth, and nobody knows who the alpha is, right? Well, listen to that!”

That, it turns out, is a convoluted tale of romance, deception, and betrayal that spanned over a decade and recently culminated into the recent engagement of Lan Xichen to Nie Huaisang, much to the bafflement of the entire cultivation world.

Lan Sizhui is happy for his uncle, of course. He’s always tried to ignore gossip, but it’s never been possible to avoid all of it, and even within the Cloud Recesses there have always been those who judged their sect leader for that youthful mistake. It’s a little odd to think that the great Zewu-Jun would settle for the Headshaker, but Lan Jingyi swears that Lan Xichen looks more at peace than he had in many years, and so does Lan Sizhui himself when he gets to see his uncle a few days later.

Lan Sizhui is happy, sharing the joy of all these people he loves and who are finding the happiness they want. Even Lan Qiren is probably less angry than he pretends to be. He loves his nephews after all, and he’s always wanted their happiness.

Lan Sizhui is happy, and tries not to feel left out, tries not to resent the fact that while everyone has found happiness in the past year, all he’s gotten is people to mourn, and a fear that he could be killed if anyone found out who he really is.

“I guess we’re going to have a lot of weddings coming,” Lan Sizhui notes, swallowing whatever bitterness he isn’t allowed to feel, choosing instead to grab one of the rabbits and pet it. “I wonder who’s next… do you know if Jin Ling has met any nice omega?”

The idea, for some reasons, makes his heart clench so tight that it nearly makes him sick. Only because then, he’d really be the only one left out, Lan Sizhui figures.

It’s a relief when Lan Jingyi laughs and shakes his head.

“That little mistress? No omega could put up with him!” he mocks. “He is so annoying and stuck up and… but at least, he’s been nice about me and Zizhen. Supportive even! He said if Zizhen’s dad and old man Lan Qiren keep being old farts about this, we can run off to Carp Tower, he’ll take us into Lanling Jin and let us marry. Not that I’d ever want to be a Jin,” Lan Jingyi sniffs disdainfully, “but I appreciate the intention I guess.”

Lan Sizhui lowers his head to hide a smile. Jin Ling isn’t without faults, but at heart he really is a good person, and a good alpha. It really is a shame that there is so much history between their families, because Lan Sizhui really would have liked to…

“He’s been asking about you a lot, you know,” Lan Jingyi remarks, which startles Lan Sizhui.

“Who has?”

“The little mistress of course. We’ve been on a couple Night Hunts with him, and every time he’s asking where you’ve gone, and when you’ll be back, and why you left without saying anything… He really won’t shut up about you. You should write to him and let him know you’re fine, just so he’ll stop pestering me.”

Lan Sizhui’s hand stills in the rabbit's fur, his heart racing in his chest, his face heating up. He can’t figure out why Jin Ling would miss him, they didn’t really get the chance to get close after all, but the idea is… pleasant. Lan Sizhui himself has certainly thought a lot about Jin Ling while he was travelling with Wen Ning. Mostly to mourn this friendship that never had a chance to bloom, but also just because sometimes they passed by a pretty landscape that he wishes he could have shown to the other alpha, or they fought a creature against which Jin Ling’s skill with a bow would have helped, or they passed by some fragrant peonies in bloom, or just because it would have been funny to hear him complain about this and that.

Lan Sizhui wants, very badly, to write to Jin Ling, to see him even. He knows, also, that it would be a bad idea.

If he tells Jin Ling about who he is, and his link to Wen Ning, then he is endangering himself, and risking the good reputation of Lan Wangji who saved him and hid him for years. If he doesn’t tell Jin Ling anything, then it’s a form of deception, since he knows the other alpha would never want his friendship if he knew the truth.

It’s safer, then, to simply stay away.

Still, Lan Sizhui enjoys being missed, more than he probably should.

 -

Lan Sizhui never realised how sad his uncle was, until he went into his room in a Qinghe inn alongside Lan Wangji to help him get ready on the morning of his wedding. It is no secret that the road has been somewhat bumpy for Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang, that even to this day they have their disagreements, but it is just as clear that Lan Xichen is the happiest he's ever been, on that warm morning of late summer. 

Lan Sizhui wonders what it feels like to marry, and for love, too, not just for politics. 

For some reason, his mind immediately wanders to Jin Ling. He's still young of course, and his position is too fragile, but someday he'll marry someone, a pretty little omega from a good family. And then, Lan Sizhui will be the only one of their little group to remain single, since Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen have finally obtained the engagement they wanted. They're hoping to marry next spring, if all goes well.

There's no shame in being single, of course, especially for an alpha, but the more Lan Sizhui realises he's unlikely to marry, the sadder he gets. It would be nice to Night Hunt with another person, to find his equal, his perfect match like his fathers did. Someone strong and determined but still kind, someone like… 

"I wish I didn't have to bother with that veil," Lan Xichen sighs, eyeing the fabric that Lan Sizhui is holding in clenched fists. "It's ridiculous. He knows what I look like."

"It is traditional," Lan Wangji retorts. 

"Did you make Wei Wuxian wear one then?" 

Lan Wangji smirks, ever so slightly. "Eloping has advantages." 

Lan Xichen freezes, blinking a few times. Like almost all of them, he is still a little upset that his brother married in secret. Still, soon enough he is laughing, and turns to look at Lan Sizhui. 

"Some example we are giving you," Lan Xichen remarks, taking the veil from his nephew. "I hope you will be more serious than us when your time comes."

"But father and uncle are very happy," Lan Sizhui notes, allowing himself a moment of insolence on this joyous day. "Surely it gives the impression that breaking rules and ignoring traditions is rather rewarding."

Lan Xichen laughs again as he pins the veil in place, and even Lan Wangji can't help a slight huff, his eyes smiling proudly at his son. 

"I suppose we make bad cases for obedience," Lan Xichen admits. "Not all rules are worth following. And you are a clever young man, so I'm sure the path you'll choose will be a righteous one, and that you'll find a partner worthy of you." 

Lan Sizhui nods. His thoughts, again, go to Jin Ling. Hopefully he too will find a good person. After so much tragedy in his life, he deserves to have someone in his life who will stick with him and be loyal and honest. That’s the very least Jin Ling deserves.

His veil in place but not yet lowered, Lan Xichen stands, smoothing non-existent creases in his robes, making sure that everything is perfect. He looks nervous, as any spouse-to-be can be expected to be. 

Mostly though, he looks happy, and there is no hesitation in his steps when he heads out of the room to go meet his groom.

Nie Huaisang is a lucky man who’d better not mess this up.

 -

The banquet offered by Qinghe Nie to the wedding’s guests is nothing short of magnificent. Whatever faults he has, Nie Huaisang is a good host, who knows how to please people. There are many dishes, fit for every taste, and over half of those are suitable for vegetarians. Lan Sizhui, however, finds himself without much appetite on this happy day.

He really is never going to be Lan sect leader now. Not when he knows who he truly is, not when his father has a daughter of his own blood who is probably only the first of many, not when his uncle too might now have children. It’s a relief, because Lan Sizhui isn’t sure he ever wanted that responsibility in the first place, no more than he would have wanted to marry Lan Jingyi, if he’s honest. But it drives home once more the fact that he doesn’t know what the future holds for him anymore, and that is a little scary. 

Without meaning to, Lan Sizhui’s eyes start to wander toward the Jin guests, and rest on their young sect leader. It is the first time Lan Sizhui sees him in over a year, since that day in Yunping City. He looks taller, and a good deal less like a child, but that’s no surprise with everything that has changed for him. Jin Ling seems to be growing into a serious young man. A handsome one as well, but that’s hardly a surprise, the Jins usually have their good looks going for them, even if their personalities can be lacking… though Jin Ling has both a good face and a good heart, of course.

Lan Sizhui must have stared too long, because after a while, Jin Ling notices, looks in his direction, and smiles. It makes Lan Sizhui’s heart beat a little faster, until he remembers that there can be no friendship between them, not unless he lies.

In this too his life has changed. 

His mood taking a sour turn, Lan Sizhui excuses himself to Lan Jingyi, leaves his seat abruptly, and goes for a walk. Hopefully, the Nies won't mind too much that he is wandering a bit. If anyone asks, he'll say he is looking for the garden his uncle mentioned after some of his visits. 

No one asks. 

Lan Sizhui might as well be a ghost. 

He feels a bit like one, tied to a past tragedy that now defines him. The lone survivor of a sect that should be extinct, forced to decide if he should follow the teaching of the family that raised him, or try to find again those of a family he cannot remember. Either way, it would feel like betraying someone.

Just as Lan Sizhui finally finds that garden, he hears footsteps running after him. Before he even turns to look, he knows by the flowery smell that reaches him who decided to follow him.

“Lan Sizhui!” Jin Ling shouts as he gets closer. “Are you avoiding me?”

Lan Sizhui winces, unsure how to answer that without insulting or lying. He has been avoiding Jin Ling, but it would be unwise to admit it.

“It’s been ages!” Jin Ling insists, unbothered by the lack of reply. “And I know you know that you’re invited to come to Carp Tower whenever you like, because I told Jingyi to tell you, and he said that he told you!”

Lan Sizhui can’t fully repress a small smile. Lan Jingyi has, indeed, passed that invitation on to him. Lan Sizhui has assumed he was invited only out of politeness, to avoid offending another alpha due to the friendship Jin Ling has developed with the omega Lan Sizhui was once half expected to marry. It can’t have been anything more. Like Jin Ling says, it’s been a long time since they met.

“I am very sorry,” Lan Sizhui says, which is nothing but the truth. “I have been busy.”

He hesitates to say more than that. Considering Jin Ling’s distaste for Wen Ning, it is probably better not to mention him. It is a happy day, Lan Sizhui doesn’t want to ruin it.

Jin Ling, unimpressed, shrugs and steps closer. It is hard to ignore that he’s taller than Lan Sizhui now, his shoulders broader. Jin Ling is everything that an alpha ought to be, and Lan Sizhui almost envies whoever will get to be his omega.

“I know you’ve been busy,” Jin Ling retorts, crossing his arms on his chest, looking a little like the haughty boy he was when they first met. “Travelling places with the Ghost General and all that… but you’ve been back to Gusu for a few months, would it have been so hard to come say hi?”

“That’s…”

“You can even take Wen Ning with you if you want, I don’t care,” Jin Ling adds, rolling his eyes as if he can’t believe he has to spell it out. “I don’t hate him as much as I used to, and Lan Jingyi says he’s actually good company. Plus he’s related to you, isn’t he? So of course I want to learn to tolerate him better.”

Lan Sizhui gasps softly, his blood turning to ice at the thought that anyone might have guessed already. Of course he knew that people would talk after hearing that he travelled with Wen Ning, but somehow he’d hoped that nobody would realise why he was doing that, not yet, not so soon.

Jin Ling, again, rolls his eyes.

“Right, it’s supposed to be a secret I guess?” he snorts. “Well, I’m not a complete idiot, thanks. I can see that you look a bit like him, and my uncle told me more about when Wei Wuxian was living in the Burial Mounds, since I asked. He says there was a child there, and then I just had to do some math and… well, I’m right, aren’t I?”

“You’re right,” Lan Sizhui confirms, terrified and elated at once that he doesn’t need to keep that secret from Jin Ling. “You seem to be taking this rather well.”

Jin Ling shrugs, a touch of red colouring his cheeks.

“I’ve had time to get used to the idea,” he grumbles. “I was pretty pissed off at first when I realised, but then I figured it doesn’t change things that much. You’re still you, and I still want to be close to you, the rest doesn’t matter.”

Hearing this, Lan Sizhui’s face heats up.

“I’d like that as well,” he admits with a shy smile. “I thought you wouldn’t want for us to be friends if you knew, so this is a relief.”

“Of course I’d want to be friends anyway!” Jin Ling exclaims. “I don’t care if you’re a Wen, or a Lan, or whatever! You’re Sizhui, and I want us to be close, I don’t care about the rest!”

Lan Sizhui’s blush deepens, and he looks away, trying to contain a nervous laughter.

“Jin Ling, I’d have thought being a sect leader would have taught you to be more careful about what you say,” he teases. “You’re lucky we’re both alphas, or else your words might be misunderstood as something else.”

Jin Ling’s entire face turns so red the cinnabar dot on his forehead nearly disappears. It’s… it’s cute. It’s really cute, and Lan Sizhui knows he shouldn’t think of another alpha as being adorable, but he can’t help it.

“There’s nothing to misunderstand!” Jin Ling blurts out, fists clenched on either side of his body.

“Of course,” Lan Sizhui sighs, a little too amused that Jin Ling is still the same, even if he’s grown up. “I was just…”

“There’s nothing to misunderstand because that’s exactly the way I mean it!” Jin Ling cuts him, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it just a little too tight. “I like you a lot, Lan Sizhui! And I don’t care that you’re a Wen, or that you’re an alpha, I still like you like that, so deal with it!”

Lan Sizhui gapes at the other alpha, stunned by those words he would never have expected.

If it were anyone else, he’d think of a joke. Or else, he’d think that this is just a younger alpha who admires an older one a little too much, as can happen. It’s not unheard of just after presenting, and it usually goes away quickly. In fact, if Jin Ling had said this back in Yi City, Lan Sizhui would have dismissed it as just a passing crush. But they haven’t seen each other in so long that Jin Ling should have grown out of that phase already. Beside, he looks and sounds dreadfully sure of himself.

And Lan Sizhui, who has never really given much thought to those few omega who tried to flirt with him, finds his heart racing in his chest at the idea that Jin Ling might like him.

“Jin Ling, that’s…”

“Don’t say anything!” Jin Ling orders, squeezing his hand harder. “You don’t get to say anything until you’ve really thought about it, and then you’ll have to come visit me in Carp Tower if you want to talk about it! But I mean this, so don’t treat me as a kid, and give it real thought. I’m serious about this, and if you don’t like me back yet, then I’ll just have to convince you!”

There won’t be much convincing needed, Lan Sizhui suspects, his eyes falling to their joined hands. He’s never thought of Jin Ling in that light before, but only because his whole life used to be so neatly mapped out for him.

Suddenly, that sense of uncertainty he’s been feeling since he understood where he comes from isn’t so scary anymore. The Lan Sizhui of before, half engaged to his best friend, half expected to become sect leader, could never have allowed himself to even think about Jin Ling in that light. The person he is now can, and he certainly will.

He’s already been thinking about Jin Ling more than he should, anyway.

“I’ll come to Carp Tower soon,” Lan Sizhui promises, carefully moving his hand to thread their fingers together.

He likes the hopeful way Jin Ling stares at him, his tone and gesture already betraying what his answer will be.

Lan Sizhui grins.

The future, once more, feels like something to look forward to.

[drwcn]

The Shadow Beneath the Light: Complete 

Concept: Sect Master Wen Qing & her harem of Jiang heirs demonic cultivators. CQL Verse. 

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Epilogue]

--

A few years later...

“A-Kuo, one last fish and we’ll go, okay? Gan’die says we’ll have to be back before dinner; if we’re  late again, yi’fu is going to make us copy Lan Precepts whilst doing handstands -”

“Yes! Gotcha, you son of a -”

“A-Kuo.” 

Lan Jingyi laughed, reeling in the line to inspect his largest catch yet. The koi fish flopped and writhed as he pulled it out of the water, a triumphant grin on his seven year old face. 

“A-Yuan, look!” He turned to his adoptive brother, who sat on the shore with sleeves and pant-legs rolled up as he diligently cleaned the contents of the small basket filled with their afternoon’s effort. “And for the upmteenth time, call me Jingyi. I have a courtesy name now - you now - like a real cultivator.” 

Jingyi said ‘real cultivator’ like he meant ‘big boy’.   

“Right. Real cultivator.” Wen Yuan smiled. “Excellent, can the real cultivator among us bring over his large catch, so I can clean it? We can turn that one into a stew tonight, with chili peppers and pickled veggies - your favourite.” 

Spring was Wen Yuan’s favourite’s time of the year. Every spring since his adoptive fathers were officially married, they would leave behind their sects and their duties to bring him and his brother to live at their small cottage, situated in the serene forest east of Mt. Dafan.  

His family was the happiest, most relaxed when they were at the cottage. Their days were simple, filled with a quiet kind of a bliss and a soft, unassuming love. They dressed like all mountain households did, sturdy clothes of hemp and cotton dyed dark blues and browns; drank water from the well gan’die dug in the yard; and ate the food yi’fu managed to prepare. They rose with the sun, not at the strict hour of five (much to A-Kuo’s joy), and rested when their fathers said so. (Note: gan’die and yi’fu are both terms used for godfather or adoptive father) 

Boys your age need to grow, so you must get plenty of sleep. 

Wen Yuan knew they were getting spoiled as it were, and soon maybe their careless days would be coming to an end. He overheard yi’fu speaking with gan’die about sending him and A-Kuo to Cloud Recesses to study there permanently instead of just a few short summer months each year. Already, yi’fu had picked out a courtesy name for A-Kuo - Jingyi - which gan’die liked very much, but they had yet to come to an agreement for himself. 

Wen Yuan wondered what name he was to be given. He took the new catch from Jingyi, cut and cleaned it the way shushu taught him last autumn when they visited Lotus Pier for the first time. The rebuilding efforts had begun, just as Wen-gugu promised. Gan’die said soon they may even be able to get their own rooms installed. Wen-gugu had written several weeks ago stating she planned to move Nevenight’s court every autumn and winter to the Wen sect’s new secondary palace in Yiling, so that Jiang Yanli and Jiang Wanyin may be close to Lotus Pier, their ancestral home. 

Gan’die had gotten rather emotional at that, and after he read Wen Qing’s letter, he had cuddled against yi’fu for a good hour decidedly not crying. 

“Wen Qing wants their next heir to be born in Yunmeng. It’s what she promised shijie and Jiang Cheng.” Gan’die had explained to yi’fu. Wen Yuan figured that meant he was getting another cousin soon. 

Little Wen Lian, the absolute pearl in her parents eyes - all three of them - was already turning two. 

“There, finished.” He plopped the fish into the basket and wiped his hands on a cloth. “Ready to go?” 

“Yep,” Jingyi stuffed his feet back into his shoes, smoothed down his robes and cringed. “I stink.” 

“Me too. We need to bath tonight or we’ll end up going to Jinlintai smelling like fish.” Wen Yuan looped his arm through the vine straps of the basket and hauled it onto his small back. For an eight year old, he was rather strong. 

“I don’t want to go to Jinlintai. It’s a wedding, so we’ll have to get all dressed up. I hope gan’die won’t make me wear the robes Jiang-shushu sent. They’re so...extra.” 

Wen Yuan laughed at Jingyi’s obvious ire. “No, yi’fu promised you can just wear your Lan robes. Only gan’die has to wear shushu’s designs. It’s a set for three anyway. Something about being the ‘better-dressed’ 3-zun...apparently there’s both pride and money on the line.” 

Jiang Cheng always insisted the Three Demonic Grandmasters could not allow the Venerated Triad to outdo them in the wardrobe department. Everyone knew Wen Qing indulged him, plying him with yards and yards of silk and satin and damask, but maybe she should stop, because it was getting ridiculous. 

A lot has happened in the last couple of years, many changes Wen Yuan and Lan Kuo didn’t see coming. One day Wen Yuan was a simple village boy up on the mountains of Dafan and the next he was being whisked away to Nevernight and placed in a position of importance and respect. He had lost his family during the war, and Wen Qing, his aunt of distant relations, was his guardian. She loved him and cared for him, but she had others to love as well. Ultimately it was not Wen Qing with whom A-Yuan had formed an attachment. When Wei Wuxian remarried, Qishan Wen and Gusu Lan formed an alliance and a child from each clan was adopted by Yiling Laozu and Hanguang-jun. Wen Yuan was the obvious choice, but Jingyi was the unexpected. 

A-Yuan looked to the other boy and smiled. He couldn’t have asked for a better brother. 

The sun was just starting to set by the time the two of them trekked their way back to their home - a little provincial cottage tucked away in the woods. Yi’fu and gan’die had build it just for the four of them. It was a quaint little place, surrounded by a bamboo fence with a stone well in the front, a little vegetable garden in the back and enough clearing space for them to practice their forms each morning. Under the arching willow tree by the south end, yi’fu had strung up a simple wood-plank swing, something that never failed to bring a smile to gan’die’s face. 

Wen Yuan and Lan Jingyi loved this cottage. As much as Cloud Recesses was ethereal, and as much as Nevernight was magnificent, it could not measure up to this home in the woods that was theirs. 

Wei Wuxian was collecting dried laundry from the clothing line and folding them into the woven basket when he saw them. Straightening up, he huffed and called out over his shoulder, “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, they’re back! No need to go look for them.”  

By the external hearth, Lan Wangji was chopping firewood into smaller pieces. “Good.” 

“Oi, you rascals, you were gone for so long we were starting to worry you’d fallen into the river and got washed away.” Wei Wuxian admonished them half-heartedly, already lifting their baskets to inspect their batch. “Not bad, not bad indeed. I taught you well! Your yi’fu will make a stew for dinner.” 

Lan Wangji thumped his axe onto the block, scooped up the firewood and nodded. “Mn.” 

Living away from Cloud Recesses for so many seasons, he had slowly learned to cook non-vegetarian dishes for his family, especially for Jingyi, who had quite a carnivorous appetite. They’re growing boys, so they should have plenty of fish and soy and lean meat. 

When Jiang Cheng was their age, Wei Wuxian had lamented to Lan Wangji one night, his eyes taking on a far away look, he could eat Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang out of their house and home. 

“I’ll make Jingyi’s favourite. They did very well today,” Lan Wangji gave them a little smile.  

The boys grinned, basking in their father’s approval. 

“With pickled vegetables and chili pepper?” Jingyi pleaded hopefully, glowing with anticipation. 

Wei Wuxian pinched his cheeks, “Yes, my little dirt ball. Now go wash up, you’re both filthy, dear immortals. There’s water in the basin. A-Yuan, do you know how to use the fire talisman to -”

“Yes, gan’die.” The boys dropped their baskets onto the ground and sprinted off with a little cheer. 

Wei Wuxian sighed in contentment. “Boys...hmm!” 

Lan Wangji drew him shamelessly into his arms and was pressing kisses against his neck. “Hahahahaha, Lan Zhan, that tickles! And the neighbours will talk!” 

“We don’t have neighbours.” Lan Wangji mumbled against his nape, hiding a small smirk. It was true. The nearest hut was at least a good half a mile walk from theirs. 

“But they’ll still talk! Auntie Chen gave me the smuggest grin last I was in town to pick up supplies!” Wei Wuxian protested, half indignant, half delighted.  

Well, the truth was the venerated Hanguang-jun was a shameless exhibitionist when he was in the mood. A couple weeks back, they had been high up in the mountains cultivating together through duelling. The fight lasted the better half of the day and when they were done, Lan Wangji had apparently worked up another kind of appetite and ambushed the unsuspecting Wei Wuxian, ravishing him right up against an old pine three. Not expecting anyone to catch them in the act, Wei Wuxian saw no reason to keep quiet, which was how the two of them ended up giving a group of herb-picking aunties an eyeful of their “rigorous exercise.” 

That, and Lan Wangij’s increasing habit of leaving marks high up on his neck, too high to be covered by the fold of his lapel. 

And then there were nights when they’ve sent the boys off to be looked after by one of the many people who would be more than happy to spoil them (Nie Mingjue was somehow the worst but given the way Nie Huaisang turned out, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise), Wei Wuxian would emerge from a quick bath to find Lan Wangji draped across their bed in not a stitch, beckoning him with a demure little lowering of his gaze. 

“How would the fearless Yiling Laozu like Wangji tonight.” 

Wei Wuxian nearly died on the spot that one time. 

Lan Zhan, you absolute shameless tart.

Sometimes he had to remind himself that this was the man who once walked away from Cloud Recesses to volunteer himself for Wen Qing’s harem. Wen Qing was a strong woman who worshipped Jiang Yanli and adored Jiang Wanyin, but hmm…sometimes Wei Wuxian believed that if Lan Wangji wanted to, eventually even Wen Qing would have caved. Ooh, and then they would have a real harem. 

Jiang Cheng would be so jealous. 

Wei Wuxian chuckled inwardly. He was glad though that it was just Lan Zhan, the boys and himself in this quiet little cottage. It was almost the end of spring now, which meant they’d have to return to Cloud Recesses soon for the summer. Wei Wuxian sighed, content in Lan Wangji’s arm. He leaned back into him and watched the sun fade beyond the trees. 

The whole world was golden. 

“Wei Ying.” 

“Yah?” 

“Are you happy?” 

“I am, Lan Zhan, I am.” 

~~~

Jiang Cheng opened an eye to the fading sun. He was lying on a luxurious wicker lounge chaise with silk pillows and fur paddings, taking a glorious nap under the tall blooming willow tree. 

The warm weight of a small body burrowed into his side like a puppy drew his attention away from the sky. Pressed against his chest was a round, rosy cheek, slightly wet from the drool that trickled down from a rose-petal like mouth, a sight which endeared Jiang Cheng to no end. 

Very carefully, he shifted his weight and curled his arm around the toddler. 

“Jiang-xiansheng.” A servant curtseyed and greeted him quietly. It seemed she had waited for him to come to for some time. 

He had returned at noon from a week-long night hunt excursion with a blend of Wen and Jiang disciples. Both Wen Qing and A-jie were busy tending to sect matters, so he bathed, consumed a light lunch and found rest under his favourite willow tree. He hadn’t thought he would have company, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. 

“Cui-momo,” Jiang Cheng greeted. 

The old nanny smiled and said, “Lian’er-guniang wanted to nap by her diedie.”

“Of course she did.” At three years old, his only daughter and child was absolutely a spoiled princess. “You’re free to go, Cui-momo. I’ll take her from here on.” 

The momo hesitated. “Ah -” 

“Something the matter?” 

“Ah no. Just, fu’ren sent word saying she and the sect master will be dining here tonight, and that afterwards the sect master would be staying, so perhaps it would be inconvenient for guniang to stay.” 

Even after all these years, Jiang Cheng still couldn’t manage to hide a blush. Wen Qing was never one for public displays of affections, but it was no secret how much she adored Jiang Wanyin. And Jiang Yanli too was incredibly secure in her position and belief of Wen Qing’s affection that she often created little occasions for Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng to have quality time together while she monopolized little Wen Lian.

A-Qing, don’t neglect my little brother, she’d admonish, as if Wen Qing would ever. 

You just want A-Lian to yourself. 

Yes, that is true, and I want more A-Lians, so you and A-Cheng should go make more. 

Yanli!  

Wen Qing loved him and his sister beyond reason, equal but different. With Yanli, her feelings were almost akin to a reverent kind of worship, poignant and consuming in a way that her feelings for Jiang Cheng just wasn’t. A-jie once said that Wen Qing made her feel invincible, more than the demonic arts ever did, and Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure how they could love the same person and be so different in their love. 

With Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing was soft and gentle, their affection for each other easy and sustained, like a stream of clear water melting in the spring. His favourite moments are the mornings when Wen Qing would lean out the window by their bed, letting the sun catch the shine in her loose, spilling hair, in no rush to be anywhere or do anything except enjoy the moment with him at her side. 

Jiang Cheng sighed. After Lotus Pier’s massacre, he never thought he could be so happy again. 

“It’s quite alright, Cui-momo, I’m sure A-jie will want to take Lian’er for the night.” Jiang Cheng said to the old nanny. He picked up Wen Lian in his arms, rising from his lounge chair. The child slept on, none the wiser. 

“We’ll be heading down to Lanling in three days time. Have the packages been sent to Wei Wuxian?” 

“Yes, Hanguang-jun wrote back saying the robes are all in Wei-gongzi’s measurements.” 

“Excellent.” 

As a rule, Jiang Cheng didn’t enjoy going to Lanling, mostly because he couldn’t stand to even think about Jin Guangshan’s face. But the old fucker has been dead for a couple of years now - an “unfortunate” encounter with a small bout of qi deviation and falling down stairs - and Lanling Jin has become greatly more tolerable under Jin Zixuan’s leadership. With any luck, his union with Luo Qingyang would rid their clan of the residual effect of Jin Guangshan’s bullshit all together. 

“It won’t do to let the ‘venerated triad’ win in the wardrobe department. Lan Xichen is getting far too comfortable thinking he’s the epitome of fashion. I think we ought to keep him on his toes, don’t you think so, Cui-momo?” 

“Indeed, Jiang-xiansheng, I do.” 

Jiang Cheng smirked to himself, bouncing his precious toddler softly as he made his way back inside, not a worry on his mind. 

~ FIN

[porcelain-blue]

Summer Smiles

Lan Wangji thinks of his mother, and the easy lilting curl of her lips when she teases him, pinching his cheeks and settling him in her lap. 

He remembers being 6 years old and even then wondering why mother was never outdoors, when she stared out the window of her house into the far mountains with such wistfulness it ached in his little heart, too young to understand, just old enough for it to ache. 

He asked, once, what mother liked best.

“You, Zhan-er, and Huan-er,” she had said, easy as anything. He had shaken his head, stubborn.

“What else do you like?”

She had laughed, then, gathering her two sons close to lean against her robes as she carded her hands through their hair. 

“Well, my treasures, I like running.”

“But there’s no running in the Cloud Recesses, Mother.” Lan Huan had said, serious and confident as though it were an indomitable truth. 

A small smile, quiet and sad this time.

“So there isn’t, baobei. But outside the Cloud Recesses, there is an open sky, and big, wide fields without any mountains for days. In the summer, the grasses are long, and the paths are dusty. One day, you two will see the land like this, with nothing but a qiankun bag and swords beneath your little feet. And you will know freedom, and run as fast and as far as you want.” 

“Will you come with us, Mother?” Lan Wangji had asked. 

“Of course, baobei, of course I will.” 

When she had hugged them goodbye that night, Wangji did not understand why her grip had been so hard it hurt. 

---

When he had met Wei Ying, it was not the impudence, or the rule breaking, or even the feeling of finally being matched, blade for blade in the moonlight of the only home he has ever known that had incensed him so. It was the fact that he was smiling at him, teasing and sure and with the kind of respect and regard that Wei Wuxian had inherent in him for other people. Wangji had known, after months of knowing him, that Wei Wuxian was kind, strong, and righteous. But it angered him to be smiled at, when the only person who was ever allowed to laugh at him and tease and be kind to him was gone, only the ghost of a memory remaining. 

He hated how the memory of his mother’s smile was now tucked alongside myriad other ones of Wei Ying, laughing and crowing, eyes bright. He hated that by now, there were more memories of Wei Ying than he had of his mother. 

He hated that he wanted more, to hoard every smile for himself alone. The subsequent horror at the idea of being anything like his father had nearly broken him that night. 

-----

After Wei Ying had died, Wangji had gone to his brother and uncle, and told  them that he was leaving the Cloud Recesses. 

“I wish to stand on the side of justice. I wish to see the wide fields and know the world as I have never known it,” he had said, and thought of his mother and Wei Ying in the same breath, holding grief old and new in the space of his chest. 

He packed his scant supplies in a qiankun bag embroidered with gentians (bought, guiltily, in Caiyi when he was younger), secured Bichen on his back, and walked down the meandering mountain path, dressed in mourning white. 

He wandered south, and made good on his promise, saving people as he could, joining in on night-hunts when he ran into younger disciples. He never stayed long, never took payment or credit, and earned his title Hanguang-Jun, as though the brightness of his robes were for bringing light to the living instead of honoring his dead. 

When at last he reached the middle plains of the country, mountains only a faint smudge against the yellow summer sky, he took a breath, and lingered as long as he could. When he walked down the dusty paths he let his hands brush against the tall grasses swaying in the hot breeze. He did not mind when the dust stained the hem of his robes. When the path ended at a well, he took a drink, re-filled his water pouch, and continued walking. 

If Wei Ying were here, he would want to run in these wide fields.

He does not run, but he walks through golden grasses, and remembers the people he loved. 

--- 

After Guanyin temple, after everything, Wei Ying asks where they should go. 

“South,” he says, “I would like to see the fields with you.” 

Wei Ying had smiled, then, eyes curving into a little crinkle of delight as he slipped his hand into Lan Zhan’s.

“South it is, then.” 

He thinks of running through those grasses, Wei Ying’s laughter light on the wind, and smiles. He wonders if Wei Ying will marry him there, with nothing but the open sky above them, barely a mountain in sight. The farthest place from Gusu he has ever been. 

“Wei Ying. I have bowed to Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. Would you bow to my mother?” 

Wei Ying leans against him, warm from the heat of the summer sun. 

“En, of course I would. Do we have to go back to Gusu for that? I’ve never seen the Lan ancestral hall.”

Lan Wangji thinks about the cold stone of the ancestral hall, the black carved tablet with his mothers name and nothing else. He thinks of her smile and shakes his head.

“Here. Let’s do it here. Under the open sky. She would like that better, I think.” 

He sees Wei Ying’s flicker of understanding. 

They return to town to get supplies, at Wei Ying’s insistence. At dawn they make their way into the field, the first rays of the sun lighting everything yellow-gold. Wei Ying leads him by the hand to a tree where the grasses are a little shorter, and sets down a couple of offerings from his qiankun bag.

When Wei Ying sets down a handkerchief embroidered with gentian flowers, his heart aches full to bursting. Wei Ying pours tea and sets it in front of the offerings. 

They bow to the memory of his mother, and then to each other, surrounded by the rustling of tall grasses, and the wide open plains of the country. --- A/N: look i’ve been listening to the mdzs audio drama and I got to the part where zewu-jun is telling wwx about their mom being trapped and I thought about how both lan zhan’s mother and wwx both love to tease lwj and like.. OF COURSE he falls in love with him, the boy is basically programmed to equate smiling and teasing with the deepest, safest love he has ever known. No this is not a mommy issue situation, its a there’s-something-about-you-that-is-so-different-to-me-but-so-familiar-it-aches kind of situation. hnghh

[yuziyuanapologist]

in silence we speak

(1.3k - lan wangji/wei wuxian - canon compliant, cw for bad parenting. ao3 link!)

They first cast the silence spell on him when he is four hours old.

He's nestled in his mother's arms, his brother and father beside them both. The first, last, only time they would all be together like this, and he is too young to remember it beyond the story his brother will tell him - that when they first took him away from her, he would not stop crying. 

He's loud and incessant in the pink dawn light, while Cloud Recesses should be sleeping - but sleep they cannot, through the sound of a newborn's distress.

His father pleads - let him stay with her a little while longer - and his brother holds on tight to them both, but he knows better than to cry. At four years old, he knows that excessive noise is forbidden. 

He knows, in fact, that it's a violation of the principles for them all to be here now - but this is his mother, and his new baby brother, the one he will protect for all he is worth.

And at four hours old, as the newborn cries and cries to be put back with his mother, a clan elder makes sure he will not cry any longer.

*

At two years old, A-Zhan is silent more than he is loud, but it is not for lack of trying.

He knows the rules. He knows well that if he screams and screams when he doesn't get his way, he will be silenced, and in an hour his knees will be bruised and sore from kneeling on stone.

But what they - the ones who silence him - don't know, is that before it ever comes to that, before the silence and the cold and the discomfort - he gets Huan-gege, who scoops him up into his six year old arms, and holds on tight until A-Zhan almost can't breathe with it. Until he's comforted to relief, safe with his protector, even when he makes his brother's robes wet at the shoulder and muddy where his feet hang and kick at Huan-gege's sides. 

A-Zhan sniffles and grumbles into his brother's shoulder, and gets a comforting hand stroking his back, reminding him that it's not long now until they can see mother again, not long at all.

Only then will a senior come and order Huan-gege to put A-Zhan down, and A-Zhan will grab on tight and scream as loud, as loud, as loud as he can, until suddenly he can't open his mouth anymore.

He never understands why. 

*

When he is told that at four years old he is old enough to understand consequences, A-Zhan is warned that if he goes to his brother again after lights out, he will not be allowed to visit his mother.

He goes to his brother that night, and does not understand why Huan-gege seems so upset. But he does not worry - instead, he holds tight to Huan-gege's sleeping robes and tells him in a quavering voice about the nightmare he had, about how he had wanted to scream but there was no sound coming out, and no one to come and save him because they couldn't hear him.

Huan-gege promises that he'll always come. That he will help A-Zhan train so that he can save himself when he needs to. 

Huan-gege says that it is best to be quiet, so that one day, when it matters, his shouting will not go ignored.

Three days later, he waits on the steps of a quiet house, and he watches his brother enter where he cannot. 

It does not take him long to learn to save himself.

*

Lan Zhan is eight years old, and a quieter child could not be found across all the five main clans. 

He is well behaved and obedient, eloquent and elegant, and once a month he waits on the steps of a silent house long since abandoned.

She is gone, they whisper behind him. She is gone, and we have tried to explain it to him, but he does not listen. 

He does not listen because they are lying to him. They hide their meaning behind gentle words, and he knows it is against the rules to do that. 

Therefore they must be lying. 

He waits quietly. He does not need to scream, because she is still there, and she will come.

He does not scream because there still may be a time when he needs his voice to be heard, but she could always hear his silence.

*

Lan Wangji is the best student in his class. He is twelve years old, and can spar with disciples of his brother's age and win. He is twelve years old and speaks only when spoken to, never with more words than necessary.

He speaks with the perfect scholar's voice, but communicates with silence. Only his brother understands him, but that's all that matters.

And when he learns to cast the silence spell of the Lan Clan, he masters it in half an hour. But the feeling that twists up his insides when he performs it takes more than a year to dissipate.

*

It's four years since he mastered the silence spell when Lan Wangji finds a practical use for it - one that isn't only to ensure the other disciples' silence when his uncle is teaching them.

He's met the Clan Leader of the Jiang Clan before - but this isn't him, this is his son, and daughter, and lead disciple.

The lead disciple, who talks and talks and never seems to run out of words. Lan Wangji has never met anyone like him, and he has never really wanted to.

People who talk too much rarely have anything useful to say, he remembers being told.

But it's not true. Wei Wuxian is smart, and he knows the difference between death and enchantment just by looking. And he's determined, willing to stand his ground and fight to be allowed entry. And he speaks without end, demanding a response

The only way Lan Wangji knows how to escape safely is silence.

*

But Wei Ying learns his language, though he stays determined and loud.

Wei Ying learns silence, and Lan Zhan learns words. 

They speak in two languages - in the understanding and the speaking, both fluent. 

They learn to know each other.

*

When he almost loses Wei Ying, he learns fury through sound, and speaks his hurt through silence. Wei Ying does the same.

But it doesn't last. Lan Zhan uses words to ask if he can help Wei Ying instead, and Wei Ying uses silence to ask Lan Zhan if he will follow.

Both silent and spoken, the answer is yes.

*

But, sometimes - even when he uses Wei Ying's language, and Wei Ying uses his - it isn't enough. 

Sometimes, Lan Zhan just has to let him go.

*

He finds the moment that Xichen - Xiongzhang - Huan-gege promised him all those years ago. The moment that he needs to shout, that he needs help, the moment that he needs his brother, someone, anyone - to come running.

The moment that he needs Wei Ying to come back. The moment he needs him to hold on tighter than ever, and let himself be saved.

This is that moment, where A-Zhan desperately needs to be heard.

The moment that Wei Ying slips through blood-soaked fingers.

He shouts, he cries, he screams, louder than he ever remembers being.

And no one comes.

*

There's only silence.

*

The Jin heir talks too much, and too loud. He's angry, and determined, and stubborn, and he refuses to shut up.

How is it that Clan Leader Jiang raised him like this, to be so perfectly reminiscent of someone else? How could he stand it - did he know? DId he mean to do it?

Does he even remember?

Hanguang Jun silences the child, and does not say a word himself. 

He knows silence best.

*

And, after all, it isn't words that reunite them. 

It's notes, the only language he speaks as well as silence - off tune, and yet unmistakable. A mask, a rough bamboo flute, and a question.

Lan Zhan answers with silence. He answers with touch.

He answers, and he's heard. 

[nyxyooni]

Drabble (1)

Lan Yuan couldn't really remember anything, he knew his name was Lan Yuan and that was all he knew about himself, he also knew that he shared a bed with a man who laid on his stomach and looked as if he were in a lot of pain with bandages soaked red on his back. He also knew that something must be wrong with him because when doctors came to see the man they looked at him as if he were a grave mistake.

Lan Yuan later learned that the man on his stomach was his father and that he has no mother, that when his father first awoke he cried while he held his hand and mumbled something over and over. As a young child who was still recovering from illness, he wasn't allowed to go outside but that didn't stop the pretty blackbirds from visiting him.

In the very back of the child's mind, he found images, of empty vast fields, of a pretty man sitting in front of an audience of black ink and playing the flute all pretty like. Just as soon as the image came into focus the blackbirds call out to him from the window and it breaks into his mind.

From there everything was slow. His father is slow to recover. He was slow to grow out of the shell that had grown around him, he was slow to understand that there was nothing wrong with him, specifically but that no matter where you were, people loved to talk.

Only the birds with the call that was more a cry and feathers made of ink remained consistent and smooth in the slow passage of time in Cloud Recesses. They would land next to Lan Yuan when he played with the bunnies, taking in how the child was careful with the animals and followed suit if only to please the human. Sometimes they would bring him small gifts and when his father asked where he got these seemingly valuable things, the child would say the birds gave them to him. It caused his father's face to tick into something Lan Yuan could only describe as confusion, it also meant that the man watched him play with the bunnies until the ravens came.

Never had Lan Zhan seen something like it, the birds were so gentle with not only his son but also the bunnies, almost as if they were conscious that in that very moment, they were not eating, not to harm. He laid witness to the birds dropping small things in front of Lan Yuan's lap.

There was only one explanation, "Wei Ying." The name slipped into the air, happy to be free of the confines that had him chained in his heart.

Lan Zhan didn't see it as anything negative, not for a long time, after all, he never bothered about the opinions other people had about him. Such was not the same about his son, no one was allowed to talk shit about his son and thus no one did. The problem arrived for Lan Yuan to make friends, there was definitely a period in the child's life when he suffered from loneliness but luckily Jingyi was a very accepting child. His liveliness reminded Lan Zhan of a young boy from long ago and if it was a little difficult for him to look at the child for some time, no one had to know.

"You know Sizhui... I think that if anyone sees you like this they would think you were a sorcerer," Jingyi was watching his dear friend cradle a couple of fluffy raven chicks in his arms, two fully grown ones perched on his shoulders, he was cooing at the birds, all soft smiles and gentle eyes. Like one would a litter of kittens. "Or not... Hanguang-jun would probably beat the shit out of them before they did."

"Hm?" Sizhui lifted his head a little, but Jingyi had become a master of mumbling so he denied saying anything. "I mean, probably." They were resting in the forest, Hanuang-jun had agreed to take them on a night hunt, as long as they didn't involve themself and now the two teens were waiting for the man to get back from... where ever he had gone off to. "But it's always been like this."

Going into his robes, Jingyi pulled out a dark blue pouch, opening it so that seed spilled out into his palm, holding his hand out he let the bigger birds eat. "I know," it had taken a while for the birds to understand that he meant no harm—in fact, he was there to feed them, "I'm your best friend." Putting the pouch away he lifted a knee and settled his hand on his, his chin in his hand. Given that he was still young, Jingyi's baby fat squished.

Sizhui looked at him, giggled softly at how the younger boy appeared to be transfixed, if not a little bored with the birds eating from his hand.

"Yes. Yes, you are."

as i said. a little something on the wwx can talk to corvids (raven’s and crows ive decided!) but less of wwx and more on sizhui b/c... idk... :]

[trilliastra]

[Set after wwx and lwj part ways at the end of the show. (Just ignore the book :))]

-

Wei Wuxian had his arm broken, was hurt – albeit accidentally – by an arrow, was stabbed by his nephew, almost strangled, got himself cursed and even, well, died, but none of those things hurt as much as seeing Lan Zhan getting hurt did.

He wasn't even supposed to be there. Lan Zhan is now Chief Cultivator, doesn’t have the time to follow young disciples around on night hunts, shouldn't even be getting himself in danger anymore, but it still happened. And Wei Wuxian wasn't there to protect him.

“Lan Zhan,” he kneels next to him, pressing his hands against the wound on his chest, “why are you here?” He asks, voice panicked. A-Yuan rushes to join him, his own voice trembling as he takes his father's hand in his.

Lan Zhan doesn't answer, only blinks confusedly, the color draining from his face as the blood stains his clothes.

Wei Wuxian hears the other disciples saying the thing – spirit, ghost, creature, person? –  that stabbed Hanguang-jun is gone and he curses at his own recklessness. He completely forgot about it when he saw Lan Zhan collapsing on the cold ground, too worried about him to think about anything else.

“Call for help.” He orders, eyes still focused on Lan Zhan. If only he had a Golden Core, if only he could transfer some energy into him, if only he – if only he weren't such a coward.

“I already did it.” Lan Jingyi answers and Wei Wuxian nods. He startles when A-Yuan starts to transfer his own energy into Lan Zhan and he almost pushes him away, worried, but when he looks up, he sees Wen Qing. Strong, determined, Wen Qing, who loved her family fiercely and would do (did) anything to keep them safe.

Behind the dreadful fear, Wei Wuxian feels so much love for this young man (his son), his heart could explode.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan gasps, a shaking head coming to touch Wei Wuxian's face, softly. Always soft, careful, sweet.

“Lan Zhan, why are you here, Lan Zhan.” He feels a tear running down his cheek. This is too much, he's already lost everyone, he can't – not Lan Zhan, never Lan Zhan. He keeps shaking his head, trying to drive the intrusive thoughts away, and suddenly, maybe for the first time in his life, he begins to pray.

“He knew you were here.” Lan Jingyi answers, when it's clear Lan Zhan won't (can't) say anything as he struggles to breathe. “We – we sent word.” When Wei Wuxian looks up, he averts his gaze, shyly. “Hanguang-jun ordered us to.” He immediately adds as if trying to defend himself.

“What do you mean?”

“Father – Hanguang-jun,” A-Yuan says, he looks exhausted but he keeps holding his father's hand, “he would ask if we saw you, every time we came back from a trip or a night hunt, he – he missed you.”

Of course, Wei Wuxian sighs, looking down at his friend, of course he did.

“I missed you, too.” Wei Wuxian whispers, leaning closer. Lan Zhan's eyes are open, but his gaze is unfocused. He's clearly struggling to keep his consciousness and Wei Wuxian curses under his breath.

“Where is the damn help!” He yells, making Lan Jingyi flinch and he only has half a mind to care. Lan Zhan comes first, Lan Zhan always comes first and he has to live so Wei Wuxian can say that to his face. “I have to tell you something,” he says, “and you need to be alive to listen, alright? You have to live, Lan Zhan, so I can tell you. Please, Lan Zhan, please.”

Lan Zhan closes his eyes.

–

“I am sorry, Sect Leader, but I am afraid Hanguang-jun won't wake up.” The healer explains to a distraught Lan Xichen, who left his seclusion for the first time in months to see his brother.

Wei Wuxian collapses on a chair, clothes still covered in blood, and blindly reaches out for A-Yuan's hand. The boy takes it, squeezes tightly.

“I can see traces of a curse on the knife that was used to stab him, but I do not know the nature of the curse nor do I know how to get rid of it.” Wei Wuxian swallows heavily, takes a deep breath to try to control himself as he feels the anger rising. “It hasn't spread yet, but –”

“So he have time, right?” A-Yuan asks anxiously. “We can find the – the thing that cursed him, or we could do research, we can – there's still time to save him!”

The healer nods, but he doesn't look hopeful. Lan Xichen slips back into his position of Sect Leader, ordering his disciples to go back into the woods while A-Yuan volunteers to go through the books in the library, desperate to do something for his father.

Wei Wuxian glances up for the first time and finds Lan Qiren already looking at him, suspicious. He doesn't say anything and soon he's standing up to join A-Yuan, but Wei Wuxian knows what that look meant – he thinks Wei Wuxian did this, as many others probably do, always will. But he's beyond caring, all he wants is to hold Lan Zhan's hand, feel his weak heartbeat under his touch.

“Why.” Wei Wuxian whispers once they are alone. Lan Xichen was the last to leave, pressing a kiss to his brother's forehead and nodding at Wei Wuxian in understanding. He knows, Wei Wuxian realizes, but at this point they all do, he didn't leave Lan Zhan's side and Lan Zhan's blood is still on his clothes, someone cleaned his hands at some point, but he cannot remember who. “Why, Lan Zhan, why did this happen? How did this happen?”

It's been bothering him since he's seen Lan Zhan with the knife on his chest. Someone must have gotten close to him, too close, but there aren't many people Lan Zhan would trust enough to allow it.

So – how?

“I should have been there. I should've been here, with you.” Wei Wuxian rests his head against the bed, next to Lan Zhan's unconscious body. “I wanted to, so much. But – would you want that, Lan Zhan? Would you want me around all the time, bothering you? Taking care of you?” He takes a deep breath, looks up and, leaning closer, whispers, “Loving you?” He closes his eyes when it gets too painful, when the guilt and the sorrow threatens to swallow him whole.

“Yes.” He hears, feels the puffs of air against his cheek. “Yes, Wei Ying.”

The tears start falling again and when Wei Wuxian opens his eyes, he realizes Lan Zhan is crying as well.

–

“It was you.” Lan Zhan confesses once the healer has left. After thoroughly examining him, he confusedly stated he looks healthy and curse-free, making Lan Xichen sigh, relieved, and A-Yuan rush to hug him tightly, while Wei Wuxian sat next to his bed, still holding his hand. “I saw you and I lowered my guard. Once I realized it wasn't really you, it was too late. I heard it cursing me, I saw it running away and then I woke up here, with you.”

Wei Wuxian feels a mix of emotions, anger and pain but also love and happiness upon realizing Lan Zhan missed him as much as Wei Wuxian did.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I'm sorry.” Wei Wuxian whispers. Truthfully, he didn't know what else to say. Lan Zhan always had a way of making him speechless, head reeling with so many emotions. “You got hurt because of –”

“You saved me.” Lan Zhan interrupts him, one hand on Wei Wuxian's face and the other pulling him closer.

“How.” Wei Wuxian asks, confusedly. He did nothing, couldn't even give him some of his energy, had to watch others look for the answers while he sat next to Lan Zhan and prayed for him to make it out alive.

“The curse. It was broken because you love me.” Lan Zhan gives him a soft smile, presses a kiss on Wei Wuxian's hand. “I woke up,” he stresses, “because you love me.”

“A love curse?” He's read about it on the books Nie Huaisang smuggled into the Cloud Recesses when they were younger, heard his sis– heard about it from some disciples, but he never thought it could be true, never realized love could be so powerful.

“Hm.” Lan Zhan nods and he looks like he's glowing, his usually cold expression replaced with a warm look, a soft smile. “You love me.”

Wei Wuxian realizes he started crying again. “Yes.” He didn't want to say it before, not as a goodbye, but he can say it now, Lan Zhan is awake and he will live. For a long time, Wei Wuxian will make sure of it. “I love you, Lan Zhan. I really do love you. So much.”

“Love Wei Ying, too.” Lan Zhan answers immediately, opens his arms when Wei Wuxian collapses against his chest. “Always did.” Wei Wuxian sobs against his neck, happy, so happy, but absolutely wrecked for the time they missed, the things that could've been if only he knew how to listen to his own heart. If only he knew how to listen to Lan Zhan’s. “Always will.”

“Yes.” Wei Wuxian pulls back to look at him, his friend, his soulmate, his love. “I will never leave you again. Where you go, I go.”

Lan Zhan nods. “Where you go, I go.” He promises, hugs Wei Wuxian again. And never lets go.

[stellarflex]

The merriment in Cloud Recesses that day was not to Lan Wangji's liking but he knew it had to be done because Lan Qiren was not to be disobeyed.

It was Lan Wangji's birthday and he was in the foulest mood. When he woke up early that morning, his husband Wei Wuxian was not beside him; he was nowhere in their bedroom to begin with.

Lan Wangji got frantic and his supposed bright golden eyes got dimmer and dimmer as he went from room to room to search for Wei Wuxian. At the corridors, he saw Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi walking slowly and whispering as they talked.

"A-yuan," Lan Wangji called his son in a very deep voice both the Juniors almost jumped out of fright.

"Father?" Lan Sizhui replied nervously.

"Where is your other father?"

"Uh-oh...I do not know, father. Lan Jingyi and I just woke up."

"Happy birthday, Hanguang-jun," Lan Jingyi said with a smile that was obviously given with a lot of effort.

Lan Wangji gave his son's closest friend with an eagle-eye look which wiped the smile out of the Junior's face.

"Uhmm...maybe Daddy Wei Ying's just visiting the bunnies, father or---"

Without waiting for his son to finish what he wanted to say, Lan Wangji went out in a flash. But Wei Wuxian was nowhere to be found as Lan Wangji patiently and painstakingly combed every nook and cranny of the Cloud Recesses.

It was already midday when the birthday merriment for Lan Wangji started and Wei Wuxian was still nowhere in sight. Lan Wangji still had his cold eyes, a stare that could almost break a glass, a pout that was quite threatening and a cold voice that can kill a ferocious animal. Everybody in their clan greeted him but all Lan Wangji could afford to do was give each one a blank stare.

"Wangji, what is this foul mood all about?" Lan Xichen whispered behind Lan Wangji.

"Where. Is. My. Husband?"

"Ahhhh. Nobody knows, Wangji. But you know Wei Ying, he loves giving you surprises. We may never know, he might be in Gusu right now buying you some gifts," Lan Xichen replied.

The jar at the nearest table almost crashed on the floor when Lan Wangji turned around to face his older brother.

"Did Wei Ying tell you where he went? He did, didn't he? Answer me," Lan Wangji asked impatiently.

"No. It was just a hunch. Keep calm, Wangji."

"You know I couldn't keep calm when Wei Ying's not around. Of all people, you should know that."

"Alright, alright."

"Lan Zhan! I'm back! Did you miss me?!" the jolly voice of Wei Wuxian was suddenly heard.

Lan Wangji's eyes almost popped out from its socket out of extreme anger and he was out of Lan Xichen's vision in a flash. But Xichen was also quick and prevented his brother from getting his anger out of hand.

"Hey, you two. Go to your room and fight. Not here where everybody could see you including Uncle Qiren," Lan Xichen said in a calm but stern voice.

"What's wrong, Lan Zhan? It's your birthday but you're fuming mad," Wei Wuxian asked in confusion.

"I woke up this morning without you on my side and you're asking me that?!"

"You, two. I said go to your room. Can anyone of you still comprehend what I just said?" Lan Xichen's voice started to sound eerily-threatening.

"Yes, Zewu-jun," Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian replied in unison.

-----

"Lan Zhan, I'm sorry. I went to Gusu," Wei Wuxian was almost pleading. He hated seeing Lan Wangji's angry eyes; looking so cold and sharp like it could almost kill anyone. But for Wei Wuxian, such eyes could break his heart.

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because it's supposed to be a surprise. I bought you a marble lantern with a rabbit made of jade. Isn't it beautiful?"

Lan Wangji became mute as he saw the lantern Wei Wuxian bought him for his birthday. It was indeed beautiful and exquisitely-nice that a little smile came out of him.

"Wei Ying..."

"Do you like it, Lan Zhan?"

"I love it."

"Oh good."

"But I'm still mad at you, Wei Ying. You know how I detest not seeing you first thing in the morning."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise, Lan Zhan."

"Mark your words."

"I will. Now please smile for me. You also know I hate seeing you having that look."

"What look?"

"That kind of look when you're angry, even the gods would be frightened."

"You don't want to see me like this, Wei Ying?"

"No! Never."

"Then don't get out of my sight ever again."

"I won't."

"Thank you for this gift, Wei Ying. But I want another one."

"What do you want?"

"A birthday kiss."

"Oh happy birthday, my husband."

Wei Wuxian lovingly stared at Lan Wangji and with that, it earned him his husband's beautiful and precious smile. Lan Wangji then touched Wei Wuxian's chin and with that, it earned him a birthday kiss from the person he love so dearly.

❤️💙

(Artist: ©狐狸大王a)