#'real quick' i said to myself

[burning-thistles-bt]

"I'm proud of you."

Chapter 168 Excerpt

[foolsocracy]

just fell to my knees

[aimbutmiss]

THE HENNA???? ATEEEE

[stellerssong]

IMPORTANT QUESTION.

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[amiharana]

and even more revalink hcs from this post part 6

previous hc part 5 x i'm too lazy to tag the other ones, just go through this one 😭 i haven't done one of these in a bit so i'm doing this for funsies 😹

who's the primary protector of the two?

hard to say, since they're both warriors with protective instincts, and link had to have learned some survival skills & instincts in botw

neither of them ever rest really, constantly on their guard because they're not letting anyone get the slip on them

i imagine that maybe they bicker over who gets to protect the other, always insisting that they'll be the one to save the other 😹

who sleeps in and who is the early bird?

i think we should know by now where i stand on this 😹

i am the self-proclaimed #1 sleepy link x coddler revali enthusiast. you know damn well i am tucking that blond twunk into a soft comfy bed (the bed being revali)

who is the least patient?

hard to pin down as a generalization, because it's circumstantial between the two of them imo

like we all know link would stare into a campfire all night just to be able to hunt the best game at the exact crack of dawn

but revali is very thoughtful and methodical to me. i just reviewed his diary and the cb memory, and it's clear that his dedication to the craft warrants a lot of strategy, perseverance, and patience. he can be incredibly patient for the things that matter most to him

(i also really like the idea that revali would be very patient with fledglings 🥺 gordon ramsey type beat)

that being said, both revali and link will have a breakdown trying to assemble a single chair from ikea. they insist that the furniture is cursed but zelda assembles it in less than five minutes

which of the two listens to old music and which one is more into the newer stuff?

to me, revali seems like he would enjoy classical music, and classic pop & rock in general. anything before the 2000's, revali can get into

projecting a portion of my own music taste onto revali, he fucks with songs like 'stitches and burns' by fra lippo lippi, 'i melt with you' by modern english, and 'true' by spandau ballet. i will not be taking any criticism at this time 🙏

meanwhile link's playlist is jumping from 'good lookin'' dixon dallas to 'planet of the bass' to 'ETA' newjeans. and he finds all of it unironically genius

who's the first one to quit a new hobby because they're not great at it on the first try?

my instinct was to say revali, but the thing is, revali holds a great insecurity in wanting to be the best, and it's difficult to do that when you're dating Mr. Link Master-At-Everything-He-Tries over here

so if he's not automatically good at it but link is, you better bet your entire ass that revali is learning that shit out of spite to be better or at least just as good at it as link is

bitches can't even have like a couple hobby, everything turns into a competition if it's revali and link ✋😭

who holds a grudge the longest?

revali of course

a while ago, i made a post about how i hc'd revali to be a capricorn sun virgo rising, and i kinda still stand by that. he'll take anything to be a personal slight against him, will block you on everything, and talk shit about you to anyone. petty ahh mf

link just doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges, he's kinda goldfish brain. he'll forget he was even mad at you 15 minutes later

who secretly knows all the lyrics to the other's favorite songs but refuses to expose themselves?

revali actually 🥺

link soaks up melodies and lyrics like a sponge, so he has no problem picking any one of revali's playlists and knowing every single song on there, he will sing his heart out to each song on that damned playlist

revali is a bit of a music snob and isn't always the biggest fan of link's taste in music (as per #4 in this list LOL)

but he tries really hard to memorize link's favorites even if he fucking hates the song, which results in revali practicing korean just to be able to sing fucking 'gangnam style' psy with link 😭

who's more likely to cry about a plant dying?

link hands down. this guy gets overly attached to inanimate objects fr

bro is the type to bump into the corner of a table and be like "oops, sorry mr. table, didn't mean to hit you"

zelda once sent link a bouquet of flowers she had grown herself, and link put them in a nice little vase, made sure they got sunlight and water every day, and gave each flower names

when one of the flowers started wilting, link was about to have a whole breakdown

revali comes home to link trying to perform surgery on a flower, like why it got a whole iv drip bag now???

which of the two is the most outspoken? which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen?

these were actually two separate questions but i decided to mix them, bc i think it's pretty clear who's who

revali is more outspoken and quick to speak, he's confidently opinionated and will mansplain to you unfortunately. he's not afraid to tell you what he thinks, because he thinks he's always right. very much the type to tell you he's just being brutally honest as an excuse to a dick skjdhfkdj

link is soft-spoken, reserved, and a listener, he'll let you take the lead on the conversation or listen you out completely before saying anything.

as such, revali is the one berating the cashier for putting pickles on link's burger when he said he didn't want any 😹

and honestly? link just likes hearing revali's voice, so he's content with letting revali talk his head off as long as they get to cuddle or hold hands.

[loafbud]

The first Splatoon game turned 8 yesterday!

[torra-and-the-toons]

I tried to mimic the character description pages from the eene bible lol

[achingly-shy]

“now we carry on” WITH JUST THE THREE OF THEM??????

[genderqueer-karma]

what the fuck i didn’t expect to cry just now. it’s so amazing how you can connect to people you’ll never meet.

[seoafin]

firebending, airbending, waterbending or earthbending?

waterbending or airbending......

[zemnarihah]

hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.

[madigoround]

So my sister, whom I haven’t heard from in two years despite trying, just called me and let me know that our dad is in heart surgery and she thought I should know so I thanked her and let her know to tell me if she needs anything and like hearing from her only because our dad is in surgery and she thought I should know is less then ideal but hearing from her at all to know she’s safe is good but also other than to let my grandma and aunt know that he’s in surgery because THEY should know and to make sure my sister is okay I don’t really care one bit that he’s in surgery. Both of our parents abused the shit out of us and now I’m left taking meds and going to therapy to manage the ptsd so like honestly the world would be a better safer place without him (or my mother) in it but does that make me an asshole? I think in like a hallmark movie or something the person that got that call would go to the hospital but I would only do that if liv said she needed someone to lean on and I can’t tell if that makes me a bad person

[misfortunegirl]

i can fuck everything up boss just give me a second 🫡

[inbabylontheywept]

i once accidentally dated someone for a few months. its very difficult to explain how this happened, but the gist is that i thought we were hanging out, and she thought we were on dates, and it was just a very painfully highschool thing.

she was a little bit confused that i hadnt tried to pull any moves, at all, even a little. like, didnt even try holding hands because, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating.

so, halloween rolled around, and she thought, you know, why wait for destiny, when you can grab it? so she hit me with a clue by four.

babylon, she said. babylon. my mom's gonna be out of town on halloween, and im gonna have the house to myself, and it's going to be kind of lonely. would you like to come to my house and watch scary movies with me?

you know, kind of a netflix and chill thing. except, and i cannot emphasize this enough, i did not know we were dating. also autism. so i took it at face value and said: oh! yeah! thatd be fun! and she thought she got her point across, but she didnt and it was a mess.

skip forward to halloween: my family has a block party every year, right? and at that point i was too old to really trick or treat, but we still wore costumes for our role in the block party, which in my case, was handing out cotton candy. so i took the first shift, and my costume was this homemade abomination minion thing. i had full yellow body paint, and goggles, and a bald cap, and overalls. the kids who saw it were like, uh, hm. overly realistic minion. and adults were like, oh, some kind of hills have eyes hillbilly with jaundice. very scary.

(it was not my best costume.)

my little brother swapped me out for second shift, and i was getting ready to change out to head to her house when i was like: no, she'll get a real kick out of this. this is one of the worst things i have ever worn. so i kept it on and just brought a change of clothes thinking i could shower real quick and change at her place after she saw my nightmare getup.

so i left after that, got there, knocked on her door, and she said come on in. so i went in, and there was this very long hall with an abrupt right turn into her living room where the tv was, and i went down the hall, and i made the turn, and my field of view went from beige drywal to her, on the couch, naked. naked in the paint me like one of your french girls pose. super naked.

i panicked. this was my first time seeing a real person like, full on sex naked,which is a totally different beast from other kinds of naked. you see one kind of naked and you think yeah, im ready for all the kinds of naked, but you arent. i wasnt at least. i really wasn't.

so my brain crashed to BIOS. she also crashed to BIOS, but for different reasons. of all the ways this could have turned me, having me show up in yellow body paint and overalls was pretty pretty low down the list.

so we sat there a while, and you know, she wasn't getting any less naked, which really wasn't helping me get my brain sorted out. it really wasnt much of a surprise when she got her bearings first and started asking questions.

"babylon," she said. "babylon. what are you wearing?"

and i was like, kind of rebooted, but i was nowhere near full functionality, so symbolic language wasnt loaded in yet. i had nothing running but my trusty autism.exe, so i said

"overalls"

and she looked at me like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked at her like she was the first naked person i had seen in real life who got naked specifically for me, and my upper level cognitive process went: "listen man, we are not going to get our shit together as long as 80% of your brain power is devoted to not blinking. you gotta get out of here."

and if id communicated that, maybe things would have been less of a mess, but instead i just kind of turned around and walked back to my car. i figured i could drive a few loops around the block, get my brain in order, and figure out what the hell we were gonna do.

the only thing i had said to her since arriving was, again, overalls.

first loop around, i was like: oh god fucking damnit. oh shit. oh shit. shes gonna get like, an eating disorder from this. oh no.

second loop around i was like: oh NOOOOO oh WHAT THE FUCK oh SWEET JESUS PLEASE. i dont wanna go back man. i just wanna bury this and forget about it. please. please. let this bitter cup pass from my lips.

and after my third loop, i went and i knocked on her door again.

she answered it this time, and i counted my lucky stars that she'd changed into some pajamas. she was all teary eyed which was the saddest thing ever, and we sat down in her kitchen and talked. it was pretty bad - i figured out we'd been dating, and she figured out that trying to jump from home plate to 3rd base is considered ballsy in baseball, least of all dating. no real winners there. and i can remember after all that, we sat there a bit a bit longer, just steadying ourselves, and i was like "well, im actually really glad we figured that out. guess i'll see you at school tomorow' and she said "WAIT. wait."

"lets watch shrek 2."

so we did and it was horrible. we did not look at each other. we did not say a word. we just sat in stony silence, while shrek 2 played in the background, and when it was done we shook hands. i think we might have been able to salvage that as a friendship if it hadnt been for shrek. as it was she turned white as a sheet and ran away every time she even got a glimpse of me at school, and that summer she moved to a new state to live with her dad. all her friends said she moved just so she wouldn't have to go to school with me anymore, and i dont actually think they were lying.

every time i hear relationship counselors talk about how important communication is, and i'm tempted to roll my eyes, i look back and go, alright. alright. theres probably some poor bastard, somewhere in the world, who doesnt even know that hes married.

and god help him when he figures it out.

other bad dating story here.

[tardis--dreams]

Sent my coworker a long message about my work schedule next week and he fucking copy and pasted it into chatgpt to get a summary ㅠㅠ