#'that was close. you were almost a Jill sandwich!' and so on

[naomiknight-17]

Idk what's harder, teaching Jill the command 'down' to get her off the counter or stove other places she shouldn't be, or getting Jon to remember to give her consistent commands instead of yelling "GET DAOWN - GET TO THA CHOPPAH" when he nudges her off the counter

[pelova4president]

Gone soft

Sydney Lohmann x Reader

summary~ Your cocky girlfriend finally gets humbled by you. Well, you tried.

!warnings! not proof read, suggestive

Sydney was arrogant and cocky. She knew she was good at football and she knew she looked good playing it too. You’ve always done as she asked, wether it was making her a sandwich or whenever she was asking for a kiss. Sydney is just too beautiful to ignore.

You were sat with a few of your Bayern teammates. Sydney had you on her lap and her hands were resting on your thighs, you knew she liked you like that, close to her.

It started with a little teasing from Georgia, she had accused you of being a pillow princes. Yeah, you were one but it wasn’t like you were about to just admit it. So you shook your head in protest.

“Oh come on! You do practically everything Sydney asks you to do. You’ve gone soft.” Sam Kerr scoffed at your denial.

“I’m not soft, i just like to do things for Syd.” you tried to defend yourself but your effort was utile as your girlfriend laughed at you.

“Even your girlfriend thinks you’re joking.” Jill comments with a grin.

“Fuck all of you. I’m not a pillow princess and i’m not fucking soft.” you told the girls.

Sydney began tracing patterns on your thigh to calm you down but it only spurred you on.

“I can prove it to you. At the end of the week you’ll all know who the soft one is.” you said with a huff.

You kept your promise. As soon as you arrived home you went to the kitchen to cook your favourite. You had a soft tune on and were in a good mood. Sydney came into the kitchen minutes before you were done.

“Hi schatz, what’re you cooking for dinner hmm?” she hummed getting closer. She put her hands on your stomach and her head in your neck.

“Smells nice baby.” she complimented your cooking skills. Your girlfriend kissed you on your rosy cheek and went to kiss you on your lips but you turned away.

“Babeee.” she whined into your neck. You had to hide your sneaky smile and acted like you hadn’t done anything.

“What Syd? I’m almost done, can you lay the table please.” you asked her innocently.

After dinner you didn’t really give her any attention. You knew Syd loved physical touch and you weren’t giving her any, she had to be the first to break.

As the both of you got ready for bed you rejected all her little tricks to get you to sleep with her. The little kisses she planted on your neck were wiped away and her soft hands on your body were swatted away.

“Baby come on.” Sydney whined when she tried to kiss you and you turned your head away for the third time in a row. You looked her innocently in the eyes.

Your girlfriend knew it was time to adress the problem. “Schatz it was just a joke, didn’t mean anything by it. Although you are a pillow princess… not that there’s anything wrong with that! You’re my pillow princess hmm?” Syd told you as you laid in bed.

“Yeah but Syd everyone thinks i am one! I’m not soft! And you didn’t even tell them off, you just laughed with them. So i think you can deal with a few days of no kisses.” you told her off.

Sydney looked like the most horrible thing happened the her. “No kisses, but that’s just not fair!” she groaned.

“Should’ve thought about that before you told everyone i’m a pillow princess hmm?” you grinned.

At training you really tried to keep your façade up. Sydney had tried all of het little love tricks on you but you kept your cool. When you needed to partner up for a warm up she planted her hands on your hips and pulled you towards her. Her head came to lay on your shoulder and she whispered in your ear, “Wanna be my partner, babe?”.

You had to admit, it was harder to reject her than you would’ve thought. Especially when she was showing you some extra affection.

You groaned when you noticed everyone had already been partnered up and you had no other choice but to work with your clingy girlfriend.

“Looks like i have no other choice, hmm?” you grumbled under your breath as you walked away towards the dugout.

Sydney grabbed your by your wrist and spun you around so your front collided with hers. Her mouth hovered over your right ear as she whispered, “I know you want me, just give up already.”. You scoffed at that and went to walk away again when you felt her hand slap your ass. You shot her a deadly stare and you received a light laugh in return.

It was the fifth day that one of you broke.

Sunday mornings were always for staying in. It was the day after your game day so it meant resting, well on most Sundays there wasn’t much resting but today you were determined to yet again, reject your girlfriend’s horny teenager behaviour.

You woke up to Syd already awake. She had her arms around you and her legs intertwined with yours. Her warm mouth was pampering kisses all over your morning face.

“Good morning mein schatz.” she whispered in your ear.

You loved her morning voice and it was hard to resist her with her morning hair and soft touches. Especially if she looked as good as she did today. Sydney decided to sleep in one of your old England jerseys and panties.

Being too distracted by your girlfriends morning appearance you failed to notice the warm hand wandering south.

“Hmm Syd..” you groaned into her neck.

“N-not until you tell me i’m right.” you told her.

Sydney was surprised you didn’t just give up. “But babe, it doesn’t matter.” she grumbled.

You went to lay on your other side to check your phone. It was already 11am so that meant it was time for breakfast. “Come on baby, i’m hungry.” you told her. 

“I’m hungry too.. just not for breakfast.” Sydney groaned into her pillow.

But Lohmann didn’t give up though, not until she had won.

The lingering touches and the constant affection didn’t stop. She had you sit on her lap while watching a movie, cooked for you and even fed you. She was upgrading her game.

“Hey schatz, come try the soup i’m making you.” your girlfriend yelled from the kitchen.

You walked over to where she stood and she trapped you between her front and the counter. A spoon of red soup was tilted towards your girlfriend’s mouth to blow on it. When she thought it was the right temperature she moved the spoon towards your mouth.

As you tasted your girlfriend’s cooking she whispered in your ear, “Is it any good?”. You hummed but it quickly turned into a moan when she kissed up your neck.

Her hand traveled lower and her kisses got sloppier. As she set you down on the counter where you were trapped against earlier she hovered her lips over yours.

“Say you want it, and i’ll give it to you.” Sydney told you patiently.

“I want you.” you finally told her.

“You’re just my soft pillow princess hmm?” Sydney smiled against your neck.

AN. haven’t written in a long time and didn’t really want to proofread

[ryssherry]

little do we know.

Jill asked you to meet her at your near by cafe. You can almost guess what was it about. Maybe about Chris. Maybe? You smirked to yourself. But the day ended up to be more of that.

WARNING: angst , more to Jill x reader scene

Chris Redfield x reader , build up scenario, heartbroken

You stared at your phone beside you. The notifications from Jill made you felt something in your stomach. ‘Why she wants to meet me?’ you thought, taking you knees close to your chest on the sofa.

Did you did something wrong to her? You grabbed your phone and replied to her text, agreeing to meet her at the cafe two blocks from your apartment tonight. You overthink about your meeting with Jill. Your first time set your eyes on her you already dropped your jaw to the ground. 

She was so stunning and yes that one word, badass. You were there at the BSAA HQ due to your former housemate, Rebecca Chamber, left her important file mixed with your albums at your house. So you were just there to pass it on to her. 

Then after you guys met for a several times at a party and some dinner with them, you can sense somethings wrong that made you and Jill feels like you have an awkward barrier. Was it about Chris? You noticed that Chris have been so nice to you. Its like you and him are in a talking stage, but you can’t say that really didn’t ya cause did Chris thought the same?

But that time, you knew Jill had something for Chris. They had been a great partner for years and you knew Chris cares for her. Not that you are jealous though. Just being understanding.

Later that night you walked into the cafe. The place was still bright and there were a lot of people too. Maybe it is because the cafe is popular though. The smell of the coffee and pastries flew around made you felt so dreamy and licking your lips. You saw Jill waved her hand at you from the table in front of the counter.  

You smiled and walked up to her. 

“Hi, Y/N,” Jill grinned and pleased you to sit. 

“Hi, Jill. Pretty as always,” you replied politely with a hint of honesty. Both of you laughed softly as you sat down.

“Let’s take some order first. Its on me so please take whatever you like,” 

“Well, okay,” you appreciated the offer.

After you and Jill placed your order with the waiter, you guys sat in an awkward silent for a second. You just didn’t know either to be straight forward about this meeting or being nice by asked about how is she doing right now. You know you will be nice since you don’t typically have a beef with her. 

“So, Jill. How was your holiday? If I am not mistaken you guys had 2 weeks of rest before the next mission is it?” you said while your right hand squeezed the other, trying to assure yourself not to be weird. 

“Oh yeah. Its good. I just went back from Italy to clear my mind from something. You know, gore thingy.” She chuckled. 

“Italy? That was nice! I’ve been dreaming to go there too. Bet you had your time to the fullest,” you replied and looked into her eyes with interest. Went to Italy just to take some fresh airs? Damn that was such an opportunity. 

Jill and you casually talks about your days and small teas about your friend and Leon which he exploded the HQ kitchen when he just trying to toast his sandwich. You had a good laugh and so was Jill until the waiter came up with your orders.

You were taking a sip of your hot mocha when Jill finally revealed what she wanted to say to you.

“You know I did not asked you to meet me just to have a normal chit chat right?” your eyes widen when she said that.

‘Oh my God, what does she wants to say’ you got goosebumps all over you.

“I pretty much expect that,” you put your cup down on the table, trying to be professional. Giving your 100% focus to Jill when your eyes met hers. 

“Tell me Jill.”

She sighed. Didn’t know where to start.

“Where do I put this? Hm... you know Chris likes you right?” you jaw dropped. Wait, wait, wait... what? 

“What?” you said, almost whispering. The shock struck you.

“You didn’t know? How much was it need to be that obvious? Everybody at the HQ knew about it,” Jill made a weird face.

“THE HQ?” you almost screamed, your hands cup your mouth. Okay that part was embarrassing to you. 

“Yes! Oh dear Lord. I know Chris had changed since you guys spoke for the first time at Sherry’s party. Don’t you notice?” Jill’s tone somehow sounds irritate. 

You went silent for a while, looking down on the table. That was about half of a year ago. That long? You surely didn’t notice because you always thought that it was just Chris’s personality. Being so silly with his dad jokes around you and helping whenever you trying to help out with something. Only you.

But that’s not you concerned the most right now.

“But Jill, you love Chris,” now Jill was the one in silent. She left her mouth agape, surprised that you knew about it. 

“I-” 

“No Jill.” You stopped her.

“I knew. How could we not? You had been with him since he was nobody. How could you not?” you said in a concern way and disbelief. Why were Jill talking about this? 

“And why are you saying this to me?” you questioned. Did she tried to signal something?

“Because I want you to accept Chris,” she said, confidently and stern. 

“What?” again, you questioned. Your left eyebrow lifted.

“That is what I am trying to say. Chris loves you so I want you to accept him. I don’t want him to get hurt again.” Jill explained carefully while you digested the words that came out of her mouth.

“But I am not as good as you,” you paused.

“I am not good in handling guns and weapons or survived in shit bioweapon apocalypse, Jill. I’m not as badass as you. I’m not pretty and fast in doing something that bombastic and different from others. I am not fun. I am boring.” you pleaded her. Intense eye contact just to convince her.

Easy to say, you are not in their league. You are just a normal citizen. You will never win against Jill in any expect. Why would Chris likes someone like you?

“Y/N, listen,” Jill uttered, calmly.

“I am no feminine than you, I cannot suit my body into doing normal things again and that is not what Chris wants. It felt so different when I am not doing anything. Saving the world from dead shit zombies and all. Look, we both have something that each of us don’t have, but the important thing is Chris wants you, Y/N,” Jill’s index finger pointed on the table, highlighting her word. 

You didn’t break the eye contact with her.

“Chris does not love you for what you have. He loves you because you are you...and how do I know this? Because I heard it from his own fucking mouth Y/N, goddamn it.” You saw a drop of tears fell down from her eye. You stunned on your seat.

“Jill please don’t...” you gritted your teeth and quickly stood up, wiping her tears with your thumb gently. You felt tight to your chest when you saw Jill cried. You don’t want her to be hurt because of you. She is your friend. How could you?

You wanted to hug Jill so bad but you don’t want people to see Jill was crashing.

“Then why don’t you just go to him, Jill? You had your time with him more than me. You can win him over,” you hold Jill’s hand on the table, somehow giving her some strength. 

You know how it feels, especially when it comes to women and women. You understand each other’s feeling.

She shook her head slow then looked into your eyes again.

“You know what I learn when I was in Italy?” she paused, taking some space as you wait.

“I learn that I can win over a thousands of girls that wants him but... I can’t win over a women that he wants.” Jill smiled thinly. The smile was made up obviously. How could you smile when your heart was crushing? It took a lot of courage.

You bit your lower lips. You can’t argue over Jill anymore, not when her intension was here to inform you about this and when there were nothing left to fight for in her. She already decided to let it go when she came back here. To let her heart out to you so that you take care of the person that she loved the most. So she can continue her life with ease, and forget her love for Chris. 

She realized that Chris never looked at her romantically. Only as a partner in work and like a family. He never look into her direction. 

Jill squeezed your hand once more before letting it go. 

“Jill... I-” you just speechless and looked into her glass eyes again. Jill grinned.

“Its okay Y/N. You don’t have to say anything. I just... want you to take a good care of Chris for me, yeah?”

“And please, please accept Chris,” she added before grabbing her purse on the table, preparing to leave. You still sat in silence, too much to be digested into your brain.

“Then what about you Jill?” you asked, voice like a small sad kid when her mom was about to leave them.

“I will be okay. I promise. You don’t have to worry about me okay? Take a good care of yourself.” Jill stood up and pat you shoulder, slowly making her way out. 

You grabbed her arm gently which made her turned her head to you. You moved you body facing her and said, “We are still friends right?” with a pity face. You don’t want your friendship ended just because of Chris. That would be dreadful. 

She smiled again, this time a bit sweeter.

“Of course.” She replied before went out of the cafe. You watched her figure disappeared by the wall. You were still static in your position, didn’t know how to face her again. Will it be better? You don’t hear it from Chris yet. Does it true?

And one more thing.

Jill didn’t touch her coffee at all.

==========================================

You walked to your apartment lobby and pushed the lift button. The doors opened and you slid yourself inside.

You set your back on the elevator’s wall and sighed, a bit loud as you felt really tired. Your mind was cloudy. Somehow you feel happy knowing Chris loves you but you didn’t like the way its delivered though. Through Jill and her heartbroken made you felt uneasy. 

The doors opened and that’s when you saw Chris, standing in front of your apartment door. He hold his jacket in his hand and the other was holding a plastic of Chinese takeout.

His head turned to you when you walked up to him.

‘Such a worst timing’ you might think.

“Chris?” you spoke as you approaching him.

“Hey.” he greeted you back. He looked tired. Maybe because he waited for you to be home since 9 o’clock and now was 2230. He didn’t text you though so not entirely your fault.

“You know Rebecca already moved out right?” you said as you unlocking your door.

“I know.” Chris went silent which made you turned to him.

“Got some time?” 

PART 2 IS UP !

https://www.tumblr.com/ryssherry/723927150264238080/little-do-we-know-part-2?source=share

[mood2you]

What?! You Drunk!

Not trueee

Out! Don't let me see you again.

Lady Umbranoch has hired a new captain--Lady Umbranach has hired a new captain of the guard.

Oh my. Someone call the National Weather Service. We have an unancipated storm in the building tonight.

They was working on the tires, that's all that was took.

Do you know what you're doing?

I'm fully aware of what I'm doing. Can you see? Man com

Jill, here's a lock pick. It's Hugh, the master of unlocking, take it with you.

Jake? What the hell happened?

HRAAA

Oh yeah, I'm so pretty, and I'm taking you down, I'm taking you down, I'm taking you out, I'm taking you out, and I'm taking you out... for dinner!

Where's that damn fourth chaos emerald.

You're right. He's Right. We got too much talent, and we work too hard, to be playing like this.

I'm looking for a whore.

I have an arrest warrent for the Grey Fox, do you know where he is?

I'm looking for the Grey Fox, what can you tell me?

I'm looking for the Gray Fox.

I'm looking for the Gray Fox.

What can you tell me?

What can you tell me?

I have an arrest warrent for the Grey Fox, do you know where he is?

I'll have two #9's, a #9 large, a #6 with extra dip, a #7, two #45's one with cheese, and a large soda.

Hmm. Teruvial.

What is it? Why do you gaze at me so?

I was just thinking.

You think I--unbelievable--you think I would--in these circumstances? The fate of the world is in the balance and you're thinking about sex? Oh what the hell. Strip.

Your wish is my command.

I'm getting to get out of here before it's too late! They'll be here any minute I'm telling you. Run while you still can!

But Ittoi-san, how did you know about the three blades?

Years ago, I was Chinese.

That was too close. You were almost a jibble sandwich.

What's all over your face, pal?

Your wife's pussy.

So long Gay Bowser

Cause if I've learned anything, it's that you've got to tune out the noise. Only thing that matters is what happens between the lines. Do the work, listen to the coaches, and the results will take care of themselves. Because at the end of the day, it's not about the money, the nice hotels, the private jets. Remember that and you'll be fine. Okay?

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee.

What a fine piece of man you are. Want to get greasy?

Strange, it's sunny, but it's raining.

Eh, the devil must be beating his wife.

Who? Beating his what?

Rest in pieces.

(Unintelligible) I'm going to die!

[mybeautifulbeautifuleternal]

give your heart and soul to charity

rating: fluff

warning: season 2 spoilers. drinking

the umbrella academy oneshot

words: 1.2k

AO3

post season 2 au: five finally gets the hugs he deserves but does not want (but he really actually does)

Allison gave a deep sigh. It had been a rough couple of days but now they were finally set and safe in 2019. Right now it was only the 7 of them, their new family resting in the infirmary after the barrage of tests and shots they had to get.

“I’m getting a drink. Who wants a drink? I think we should have a drink.”

Allison wanted to argue but Klaus did have a point. She felt like they all deserved a drink.

She felt bone-deep tired - they’ve been go go go for the last week - trying to stop another apocalypse, dealing with the multitude of family issues present, then trying to get everyone caught up and settled in their new life.

She slowed her walk to the couches as that thought registered in her mind. They had been going for a week but Five...he had been at this longer, hadn’t he?

The 6 of them had time to rest and recuperate (or forget) the original apocalypse but Five...he had immediately dropped from his last-ditch effort to save his family only to find out that it hadn’t exactly worked and that he had to do it all over again but with less information this time around.

And this time around, his siblings actually listened to his warnings but didn’t want to help him. 

She...didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Allison? What’s with the face?”

She frowned, just a little, and did an about-face. She strode over to Five, who subtly backed away from her then froze in disbelief when she threw her arms around him. 

“What?”

“Shut up and accept this affection.”

He stood completely still and seemed to stand up even straighter when the rest of their siblings joined her. 

Vanya was the first to join her, still the shortest of all of them, wrapping her arms around their waists. Ben was next, somehow reenacting the Horror but with only his 2 human arms, surrounding all 3 of them. Diego made the sulkiest face he knew how to make but he slowly made his way to the sibling hug. Luther and Klaus finished up the group in their own style - Klaus was obnoxiously smothering them and Luther almost lifting the entire group off their feet.

But Five stayed right where he was, right in the middle of them.

“Thank you, Five. For coming back. For saving us. For not leaving us.”

She had to let him know how much she appreciated him, and how much he did for them. He had spent 45 years in a post-apocalyptic world, 5 years as a time-traveling assassin, and then spent 2 straight weeks trying to stop an apocalypse from happening and trying to keep his family alive, then went zipping around various timelines getting things set for them to be happy here.

The rest of their siblings followed her example, thanking Five personally for all the help that he’d given them over time. 

He stayed in their arms but he also wasn’t moving - she was afraid that they’d finally broken him. 

They stayed where they were for an age and just as she was getting ready to use her elbows to move her brothers off her, she felt Five shift, just a little, and lean into the hug. 

She squeezed him just a little tighter then weaponized her elbows - she knew that he didn’t care for and wasn’t used to long displays of affection. 

As she left her taller brothers cursing, she moved over to the bar to gather the margaritas that Klaus had made.

“Time for drinks!”

They spent the next couple of hours slowly getting more and more smashed, finally getting into the groove of being siblings after 30 long years.

---

Grace moved through the house quietly. She didn’t want to wake any of the people now living here. And she was so happy that there were now more people that were calling this place home. She was even happier that they had decided to make the house a home for themselves. 

She had heard that Luther and Klaus were planning on repainting everything to a more inviting color. Ben - her wonderful gentle Ben, now alive again - had been musing that Jill would enjoy turning the backyard into a proper garden.

She didn’t have the word to describe how it made her feel to have all 7 of her children back home. And even better! Her daughters had kids of their own! She was a grandmother now. 

She was excited to get to know all the people brought into her life.

As she passed by the library, she saw the most adorable sight. She turned and got her camera to have physical evidence of this moment. 

Luther and Diego were curled up together on one of the smaller couches, Ben was sandwiched between her girls, and little Five and Klaus were a tangle of limbs in the armchair right in front of the fireplace.

After she got her photos, she went through the room and covered up her children - she didn’t want them to get cold during the night. She removed all the glasses from their hands, deciding to leave them on the table in front of them, and closed the curtains so the sun wouldn’t wake them up. Based on the mess she spotted on the bar top, she didn’t think that they would enjoy that kind of harsh awakening.

After she was sure they were as comfortable as she could make them, she placed a kiss on their foreheads, then left, closing the door behind her as she went.

She needed to recharge for the night. 

She had a feeling that she would have a lot to keep her busy in the coming days.

--

Allison groaned as a thud awoke her from her sleep. She turned away from the sound, determined to get some more sleep and hopefully wake up later feeling more human.

The cursing that followed the thud chased that dream away.

She turned her head slightly, uncovering one of her eyes to see what the sounds were. She was greeted with the hilarious sight of Luther and Diego tangled up together and thrashing about trying to get away from each other. She took a mental picture of both of them, and of the hilarious sight of Klaus smothering Five in an armchair - both still somehow asleep, then turned back to bury her face against Ben.

It had been too long since she could hug Ben and was too early in the morning with a hangover to deal with anything other than not dying.

Ben slouched a little more and wrapped his arms around her and Vanya.

Allison smiled slightly. She wanted more of this. Of her and her siblings living together semi-peacefully. The only thing that would make this better is if Ray and Claire were here with her.

But that would come in time.

[ritacaroline]

Starshine                  Ch.4      Jimmy Page          Fan Fiction

Sequel to In The Light. 

It was a warm glorious summer day in August. Jimmy and Jill went out to the pool in their swimsuits, as Mrs. Kelly walked out later with a tote full of sandwiches, drinks and other lunch items. They both waded in and Jill commented, “Jim, again, the water is so clear and refreshing. It’s just heavenly in here. There was no need to get used to the water, the temperature is perfect.“  He answered, “Yeah, I know, I keep it at this level because I would never go in it, if it was too cold. I want to feel comfort, not torture, you know ?” as he let out a few soft laughs. She walked over to him in the four

 foot deep water, and put her arms around his slender frame with gentleness. He tightened his hold around her sexy form and kissed her mouth with some deep emotion, as he held her head in his warm hands. “My love, ...my love,” he spoke. His eyes sparkled in the sun’s reflection from the water and his smile was dazzling, so naturally from his joy. He held Jill, hands softly behind her shoulder blades, as she leaned back into the water, balancing on his hold on her. Her long hair dangled into the water as she was angled backwards, dipped in the water, all but her face. Jimmy commented,  “Angel, I used to almost never go for a swim in here, before I met you. Didn’t feel like it. It just didn’t call to me. But now that I have you with me, my darling. There’s not a day that goes by, that I don’t crave coming in here with you. So I could feel your sexy as hell body against me, under the water, in my hands. I can’t get enough of this feeling. It feels so free and light in here. And you feel like liquid magic in my hands.”

“Oh my God, Jimmy. You say the most enticing, unusual things, that’s one of the many things I fell in love with about you, when I met you.“ she said. 

“Wait,.... what ?  You fell in love with me ? When you met me ? I had no idea about that. When ?  When did you feel like that ?” he questioned, confusedly.

“Well, I guess the night you met me at the Indigo Club. When I was with my friends.  You came in and put your hands on my waist and surprised me. You acted so thrilled to see me and hugged me so tightly into your neck,... the feeling and the thrill I had, to have you in my arms,..Oh my God, it was love.”

“Oh my Lord. I had no idea you felt that way. I guess I was not particularly self confident, in my place in your heart yet. I was trying hard to win you. I had doubts, that you could even love me. But, God, I was already over my head in love with you, even before that, my sweet angel. “ 

“It’s not easy for me to understand that, Jim. We’re talking about 8 or more months ago. And you only just mentioned that you loved me, like only 2 days ago. So, why the long wait ? to tell me ?“ asked Jill.

“I know it sounds ridiculous. I know. But, I loved you for so long, and with so much intensity, too. In fact it’s hurting right now, feeling this feeling in my chest, in my gut. It’s confusing. It’s complicated. But, I do have an answer. Give me a second.” And he pulled her against himself, tightly, as he leaned his back against the wall of the pool. He sensuously kissed her lips, with his hand behind her neck, and his arm around her back. Squeezing her tight, as though he was afraid she would get away. His face was now buried into her hair. Finally, he began to explain, “Jill, I love you so much. Oh my God, it feels so great to tell you, finally. And that you love me back, in return. It’s too amazing. Too good, too great. But, during all those months, when I did have those strong feelings for you, I couldn’t say it. Though I wanted to. The reason, is that I feared you wouldn’t say it back. And the thought of how I would feel, if you didn’t love me too. That’s what stopped me. I didn’t want the bubble to burst. If you didn’t love me back, I would have been buried. It was worry. And by the way, my girl, ? It did actually happen, exactly the way I feared. If you remember, a few days ago, I told you I was in love with you, and you didn’t respond. I had to ask you, even more than once, if you loved me too ? What was with that, please ?”

“Hmm, yeah. You’re right, I did do that. You’re right.” She blinked a bunch of times, then looked down, in deep thought. Sadly. Then she felt horribly embarrassed. A few tears filled her eyes, none fell though. Jill said, “I’m not really sure exactly, why I didn’t tell you immediately, that I loved you, too. I should have, I felt that way. I wanted to. I guess I was tongue tied. I think you just caught me too unaware, off-guard, when you said that. I was just knocked over in surprise. I’m so sorry, my love, I hope I didn’t hurt you. I do love you, I did for a long time. Because the way I feel, and that I felt at that moment, is the strongest love I’ve ever felt. It’s massive. Its overwhelming. I never loved anyone like this before, ever. You’re my man.” And he just grabbed onto her, kissing her relentlessly. He completely understood her explanation. And he had no more need to be convinced or comforted about the subject. They both had been reluctant to put their true feelings into exact specific words. However, they both felt inside, knowing from each other’s actions, that they were deeply treasured. That they belonged to each other.

Jimmy comforted her, “Please, don’t feel regretful about anything, my sweet love. Don’t. You’ve treated me so beautifully and caringly throughout the entire time I’ve been with you. To me, nothing was lacking at all. You showed me how much you cared for me by your actions and words, and through your touch. I‘m very aware of how you loved me, my angel. And I’m so grateful for it.” 

And his divine words were way touching and mind melding to Jill. The tears began dripping down her face. And he could feel her thoughts, she didn’t need to speak another word. The two of them just stood there, clutching each other, and kissing, holding on tightly, loving each other. Such strong feelings. Nothing could be more clear. 

Later in the day, at dinner time, they were sitting at the table, just having finished eating. Jill had her hand open, palm side up, as Jimmy held it and played with her fingers a little. Chatting lightly, laughing together softly. The phone ringing startled them a bit, and Jimmy answered it. First listening, then saying, “Yes, she is, hold on, please.” He covered the receiver and said, “It’s a guy named Kyle Walters, for you.”  “Oh wow !“ Jill exclaimed as she took the phone. “Kyle !! Hello ! How great to hear from you.” she said with excitement. There happened to be a paper and pen within reach and Jill jotted down, for Jimmy, “My old supervisor from New York Central.”

Jimmy knodded and smiled, and gave her privacy as he left the room. And Jill and Kyle chatted excitedly together for about 30 minutes. She was quickly writing things down, then eventually hung up. Jill strode through the house looking for Jim, but took awhile to find him. There were so many rooms in the house, it wasn’t always easy. Ultimately, she found him upstairs laying on their bed, watching TV.  When she entered, he turned off the sound and asked her what the call was about. She laid down right against him and began caressing and cuddling his tummy. He adored that, and slid his arm behind her neck. She began to tell how the hospital was starting a new research program, and they were expanding it to a few other hospitals in both the US and also in Europe. And he hoped that she Iived close enough to Preston Hospital, London, so that she could possibly join his team. A group of colleagues from her lab were about to relocate to London for this groundbreaking new program, in clinical chemistry and hematology. 

Jimmy said, “Oh, darling, how wonderful. Do you feel interested ?” She answered, “Well, I’m not sure. But I gave him my other contact information, and he’ll be in touch within the next month when he begins the relocation process.”

Jimmy acted happy about it, but had a lot of questions in his mind and a few worries. But, he really didn’t want to be selfish. He wanted Jill to do what was right for herself. He didn’t want to restrict her from her own interests or career goals. Jill wasn’t in tune yet with what she wanted either. She needed much more information to know if the project was worth her time. So it was all up in the air for now. She and Jimmy got comfortable for the night, holding and loving each other. As beautiful as it gets. For a incredible night of deep rest.

Next Ch.(5)  https://ritacaroline.tumblr.com/post/184847810476/starshine-ch5-jimmy-page-fan

Chapter Index for “Starshine” is located at bottom section of Ch.1 , click here : https://ritacaroline.tumblr.com/post/184383708541/starshine-ch-1-jimmy-page-fan

Link to “In The Light” - original fan fic - https://ritacaroline.tumblr.com/Fan%20Fiction

JimJam Mistresses @tremble-and-shake @ledoftherings @gimmeeshelter @adonna1964 @justanotherzosofangirl @starchild0985 @girlofthemoon75 @bonscottintheimpala @12909168 @jullz @cherryfloyd @tenementcrazylittlefruitcake @save-me-from-the-gallows-pole @ledoftherings @marauderofworlds @ultrabitchystudentperfectionus @satanspizzadeliveryguy @misspenylane @zi-zidane @catherine0627 @pagingpage-the-original @amythesticon @strangerspassinginthestreet @ thezeppelinbeatles @pour-some-sugar-on-mee  @carryfire18  @j-james-thlk @70shoney @strange-broo @page-daddy @nadianad1337 @yerawizardjimmeh @jimmyypagey @magnetacuddles84 @rock6880 @gimmeeshelter 

*Please advise if you would like to be tagged or untagged.

[filmstruck]

Life Advice from Dawn Davenport by Jill Blake

It’s Pride Month, and to celebrate the beauty and diversity of the LGBTQ community, FilmStruck has curated an impressive selection of films highlighting various facets of the queer experience. And no Pride celebration would be totally complete without an appearance from the legendary Divine, who long served as director John Waters’s close friend and muse, starring in almost a dozen short and feature-length films, including MONDO TRASHO (’69), MULTIPLE MANIACS (’70), POLYESTER (’81) and most famously as Edna Turnblad (and Arvin Hodgepile) in Waters’s HAIRSPRAY (’88). But it’s Divine’s turn as the fame-obsessed criminal Dawn Davenport in FEMALE TROUBLE (‘74) that stands out in her collaborations with Waters. Fashion-forward with big hair and an insatiable appetite for petty thievery and fame, Dawn is the epitome of the modern woman, albeit a more unconventional one. Her fierce independence and confidence leads her on a twisted and delightfully depraved path that can only be seen to be believed. Along the way, Dawn has experiences like no other, serving as both an inspiration and a hilarious cautionary tale.

So, in the spirit of Pride Month and in honor of the late, great Divine, here is important life advice from self-proclaimed “thief and shitkicker” Dawn Davenport:

It’s Always the Right Time to Eat a Meatball Sub

Who says you can’t shove a giant, messy meatball sandwich in your bag for a snack during one of your boring high school classes? Dawn certainly doesn’t see a problem with it, as she is someone with unshakable confidence who does what she wants, when she wants, regardless of the consequences. So, go ahead and be like Dawn; if you’re craving that meatball sub in class or in that soul-crushing meeting at work, have at it. Be brazen and defensive at anyone who tells you otherwise.

A Great Pair of Shoes Can Make—and Break—the Girl

All she wanted for Christmas from her parents was a pair of black cha-cha heels. But Dawn’s parents, believing her to be a respectable girl, thought she shouldn’t own such provocative footwear. Little did they know that their gift of a far more practical, sensible-looking shoe would tear their family apart and send Dawn on a path of destruction and fame. While the ability to compromise is a virtue, sometimes you have to stick to your convictions, however ridiculous they seem to others. Those cha-cha heels were important to Dawn and her happiness and she wasn’t going to let anyone—not even her parents—stand in her way. If you want those cha-cha heels, don’t rely on anyone else; you’re going to have to buy them yourself.

Motherhood Is Hard—Don’t Get Bogged Down with It

So, you find yourself pregnant after a steamy and awkward roadside tryst with a man who looks an awful lot like you. But like Dawn, you’re a strong woman and you’re going to have the baby and find a way to raise him or her on your own. But nothing could prepare you for the vicious onslaught from a vile, ungrateful daughter who gets immense pleasure out of playing “car crash” by herself, amongst other things. Why can’t she just sit and look out into the air instead of playing childish games? You’ve done everything in your power to raise her right, but she just won’t behave to your liking. Take Dawn’s advice and just forget about it. After all, finding fame and getting your hair done is far more important. Don’t worry: The Hare Krishna will take care of your kid.

Don’t Marry a Man Named Gator

Seriously, just don’t. Plus, you don’t need drama from his crazy Aunt Ida. Let him move to Detroit to be near the auto industry.

Happy Pride!

[blackdragonmedicdean]

So because I watched some of Twisted Tanslations I got inspired to do something with it invovling quotes and Resident Evil (I will show the orginal being first and the translation I got being second) *pt 1* 

(orginal)

Barry: That was TOO close! You were almost a Jill Sandwich! 

(translation) 

Barry: It’s almost there for Jill’s junk food! 

(orginal) 

Nemesis: STAARRRSS! 

(translation)  

Nemesis: DISCOUNT! 

(orginal) 

Jill: You want S.T.A.R.S? I'll give you stars!

(translation) 

Jill: Do you want S.T.A.R.S or not? I'll give you a star! 

(orginal) 

Merchant: Got sumthin' that might interest ya'. 

(translation) 

Merchant: We get 100% of what you like.

(orginal) 

Leon: Saddler, You're small time. 

(translation) 

Leon: Sadler, you're still young.  

(orginal) 

Josh: Wait a minute, you are Jill Valentine! 

(translation) 

Josh: Emma, ​​Jill Valentine! 

(orginal) 

Wesker: Your future HINGES upon this fight!

(translation) 

Wesker: Your fight is over! 

(orginal) 

Chris: I've had enough of your bullshit! 

(translation) 

Chris: Shit looks good on me!

(orginal) 

Jessica: Me and my sweet ass are on the way!  

(translation) 

Jessica: My beautiful donkey is about to go!

[ancientbrit]

Natter #11   12/2/2020

Gordon Polson <ancientbrit2@gmail.com> Wed, Dec 2, 2020, 11:04 PM I am not sure how this will work out as I am not sure what to write anymore. Apparently, the last one must have gone over like a lead balloon and as there are no clinics to draw topics from I tend to write about things I think you might appreciate. It looks like I guessed wrong last time. Right now I am in the midst of editing the old Natters - all the Natters that is that we have been able to recover. Unfortunately, there are some still missing and I think that they are probably permanently gone now. However, there are something over 120 now available with grateful thanks to Tom & Jo, Janet and Carin, who resurrected all those we now have available. It is interesting to read back on them, some I find are likely to still be of interest - at least I hope they will be.This Summer I was positive that my banana palms would produce fruit as they went through last winter with most of their stature intact. This meant that they would be starting their growth from high up with all that potential in their "trunks" which normally indicates fruiting possibility. I kept hoping as the warm weather turned hot but still nothing. Then last week Jean asked me about the weird-looking lump in the middle of the clump.  It was only visible from her bedroom window and when I checked, there were the unmistakable rows of bananas preceded by the large oval flower bud with the point on the end, looking something like a large bird's head. At the same time, I realised that my largest Brugmansia., which had bloomed it's head off all summer planted in the garden, was now devoid of all of its leaves, but the buds (all 35 of them) were still hanging on and twenty eight of them are now open and blooming away! Yet another variety, that I was given by the 'Duchess", which is a variegated type with white blooms, had been left outside in its pot last winter, so of course, it was cut down, leaving just dead stubs. Halfway through the summer, I noticed new shoots just emerging from the surface and right now it is almost two feet high. I intend to leave it again all winter just to see if it will make it. The big “Charles Grimaldi” will surely die back as it is more exposed and it is too big to dig and return to the greenhouse where it spent last winter, but at least I have taken cuttings which are ridiculously easy to root One of the more interesting facts which I re-read dating back to 2012 was regarding the word 'sequester'', which I have used without really understanding it's meaning accurately This example involves the production of material from gaseous carbon dioxide. Apparently, a Dutch biologist planted a willow sapling in a pot containing 200lbs of compost and over a five-year period the sapling was only given water - nothing else. At the end of the five-year period, the sapling was removed, cleaned and weighed, topping the scales at 169lbs.The compost was removed from the pot, returned to the same state of dryness it had been originally and then also weighed, coming in at 199lbs 12ozs! Not too difficult to see why trees are planted to soak up atmospheric CO2.

I just had an Email from a seed company back home in Devon, England where my folks lived. I have bought seed from them for the last couple of years and both Lucy and Alison have had plants that I grew from some of that seed. The mail was offering a 20% reduction on all seed orders before the end of December and I thought some of you might be interested. Their inventory is quite large and unusual and they can be accessed at PlantWorldSeeds.com. Bearing in mind the terrific run there was on seed last Spring and knowing how I was unable to buy any of the seed that I wanted, I will be taking my order there very soon. I don't know if the 20% reduction only applies to me as a former customer or not, but if any of you would like to buy and find that the reduction doesn't apply to you, you can always let me know what you want and I can run the order with mine for the reduction benefit. just let me know ASAP so that we can get in under the wire. One of the stimulating things I re-read was regarding the natural enemies of the Brown Marmorated Stink bug. There is a yellow & black spider, three different Praying Mantids with varying novel ways of dealing with them. One chews off their legs to prevent escape and then munches on it like a sandwich. Another injects a fluid that pre-dissolves all that interior pudden and then sucks out all the protein. And talking of protein, the BMSB is apparently more highly nutritious protein-wise than a good steak. I have no idea who first discovered that but I can't imagine biting one whilst holding one's nose. You've got to be desperate.

Over the last several months we have been visited by two beautiful cats - one a long haired tabby - very friendly and the other a gorgeous white long haired creature with slight  grey marking around it's head. This cat seems to be caught on the horns of a dilemma as it sits at various spots all round the house , just staring at us, but when you attempt to go near - he moves away. Last Summer he and Pickle had a difference of opinion regarding just whose property this was and I had to step in and break them up before they took off. This hasn't fazed him at all - now he comes right up close and stares through windows where Pickle can see him resulting in some foul language. I also believe that he is rather frustrated as he watches Pickle shove through his cat flap - just above and to one side of my bed, but cannot seem to work out how this works. And so last week, after Pickle came through at around 2:30 am with the usual bang, White cat followed him and hammered four times on the flap and ran off. He has since developed the habit of sitting just the other side of the flap staring in and Pickle is getting a bit paranoid. He hasn't used the flap more than six times in the last few months.

Then just a wee while ago, following a couple of days of strong winds, I was reading in bed around 1am. Pickle was sitting upright alongside me, watching the bedroom door - quite unlike his usual attitude, where he lays across my leg and sleeps.  I thought that it was a bit unusual, but was totally surprised when suddenly Big White Fluffy cat casually walked through the door, from the house side. I asked him what he was doing there, but he ignored the question, turning around and disappearing into the dark.

Pickle and I got out of bed and followed BWF cat, turning on all lights as I went, up and downstairs. no sign of him. I noticed that there seemed to be a slight cool breeze coming from my workshop and going in there I noticed that a new service door I had fitted was slightly ajar. I hadn’t yet fitted a lock, but just left a heavy chunk of wood leaning against the door to hold it closed. The strong winds had shifted the block and the door was swinging. I closed and wedged the door tight and fixed the lock next day, but from then BWF cat has never returned. I find small piles of white fur in odd places where he must groom, but no cat! Strange.

I think that I might try to get back into running a PeaPatch at Luther Burbank Park. I have no idea if there are any available right now nor how to find out with the CCMV closed up, but I have to do something. The raised beds that Jill has allowed me to use for some years have now been removed. I was told that she was afraid that I might get dizzy and fall off the edge of the raised ground - a six foot tumble over rocks. But I think it must be that their son has now taken up permanent residence in the house with his fiancee and they want to keep the coast clear. Reasonable.

Anyway, I need to do it as I currently have no place to grow veggies.

Sunday there will be a virtual re-union of those who attended the virtual clinics during the year - BYOB. Rather a neat idea but not to be compared to our bun fights. Another interesting thing that came to light in reading the Natters is that way back in 2013 it was proposed that advanced classes be offered leading to Advanced recognition for those who took it and possibly passed a test. The idea was approved and was to be pursued. 'Have to raise the question as it seems to me that there has always been the threat of MG loss purely because of stasis.Yet another point which should be settled is when existing MGs from outside States move to WA and wish to continue. Many have been turned off & away by being told that they must retake the whole  3 month class again including the $fee. This, I could sort of understand if they came up from Florida say, but two that I know of came from Oregon and how different can Oregonian plants be to WA?     Can we afford to be so profligate with trained and keen MGs, especially now that we will be missing a whole year of intake and possibly losing quite a few from this year too?

I have recently been in contact with a guy who was at my old school at the same time I was - just a year ahead of me. I have no idea how he found my details as I didn't know him at school, but we have been trading emails back and forth now for some time. His wife died recently so he is obviously now alone and I think this correspondence is good for him, I certainly enjoy it. The strange thing is that he lived no more than 1000 yards away from me and from photographs that he has sent I know the masters and most of the swim team he was part of - just not him. We seem to share a huge number of things in common. He also attended the same middle school that I did - well he had to, there was nothing else around. I had to remind him of the various staff names and subjects as he couldn't remember a single one. In biology, he sat next to one of my best friends - Dave Bellamy. His interests are similar. He and his wife worked in the States for years. They had Siamese cats too  He is interested in cars and he is rather lucky at the moment as his two daughters have taken charge of a sports car that he built and ran for years and are having it restored - just needing the glass replaced now and some final tuning work done on the engine. I was to have seen him when I was back home two years ago until my busted ribs and having to look after my sister intervened. Bedtime calls right now, but I am ashamed that I haven't maintained a more regular correspondence with you as I have in the past. I will try a little harder in 2021 - perhaps there will be more happening then - I certainly hope so.

Your fearless leader,Gordon

PS Don't forget - those whose CE levels are a wee bit below par. Don't leave it to the last minute. Talk to me.

[yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend]

Shelter from the Storm (Part 2)

Characters: Sam, Reader (platonic), Jess

Summary: The story of how Sam and the Reader met and became friends. That was an awful summary omygosh I’m so sorry

Warnings: Um… spoilers for the pilot episode if you somehow haven’t seen it? None really.

A/N: This is part 2 of my Shelter from the Storm series (*throws confetti*). This part is mainly a flashback to when Sam and the Reader first met and how they became friends. I also always thought about the fact that Sam left and never attended Jess’s funeral and how that might have looked and felt to other people, so this vaguely explores that idea. It’s a slow burn but I hope you guys enjoy it. Would love to hear some feedback!

Here’s Part 1 if you haven’t read it

(gif from google)

Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved Everything up to that point had been left unresolved Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm Come in, she said I'll give ya shelter from the storm

The classroom was cold and loud. Students talked amongst themselves making new friends as they filled in the space and waited for the professor to arrive. You hated the first day of classes. They were always like this, full of new people and new opportunities. You hated new situations. There were so many of them over the past years it seemed. Almost too many new people and new opportunities, you thought. New opportunities had the potential to go wrong. New people were just people you would potentially get close to – and they eventually have to leave. Potential is not as promising when it is short lived. Instead you kept to yourself and doodled in your notebook.

“Is this seat taken?” a voice behind you woke you from the mindless tracing of your pencil. You turned around to see a tall man with floppy dark hair smiling politely at you. He pointed at the seat to your side, “mind if I sit here?”

You blinked yourself into focus, “oh no, I don’t mind. Have a seat.” You moved over a little bit to give him some extra room. Suddenly you weren’t sure how to handle yourself. Do you introduce yourself? Does he care? Do you truly care? You thought back to the futility of the whole situation and how you always swore you would never get close to people.

The decision was made for you, though, as a hand sticks out to your side. “I’m Sam. Sam Winchester,” the man said with a smile.

You took his hand in yours and gave it a couple shakes. “I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.” You gave a sheepish grin, “nice to meet you.”

“You too,” he looked down towards your notebook and caught sight of what you were drawing. “Those are cool. Are they angel wings?”

You felt your cheeks redden as you looked down at your own drawing, “Um… yeah I guess so? Or maybe just bird wings? I’m not really sure. I’ve just had wings and things on my mind lately.” You weren’t really sure why you felt so embarrassed by the situation. “I move around a lot and I guess I was just thinking about that.” You looked back over to him and caught his stunning hazel eyes.

He seemed a little surprised at what you had said, “Really? I move around a lot, too. Or I used to before coming here – my dad’s work and stuff.” There was some sadness in his eyes for some reason, like he was remembering something bittersweet.

“Yeah my dad’s work has me moving around a lot, too,” you looked back down to your paper. “But I have a feeling I’ll be here for a while.”

Sam looked like he was about to speak but was interrupted by the professor entering the room. “Welcome to Biology I for non-majors, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you’ve chosen your seat partner wisely, because they will be your lab partner for the remainder of the semester. Mazel tov.”

You and Sam looked at each other. “Well it looks like you’re stuck with me,” he said with a smirk.

And that was the start of your friendship with Sam Winchester. The two of you bonded over the course of the semester in your Biology class. Between studying for exams and dissecting cats the two of you of you got close. You discovered you were both pre-law and in many of the same classes as each other, so you bonded over funny professor stories and shared notes and tips. After that semester, you both decided to take as many classes together as you could. Sam said it would be easier to pass the classes if he had a study partner and you agreed.

The next four years flew by with Sam as your best friend. Even after he was introduced to Jess and they got serious, you were still there. Your relationship with him was never complicated. Maybe it was still the part of you that never got close to people, but you never let yourself become attracted to him. He was just your best friend, plain and simple. The love you admittedly felt for him was platonic. You were happy to see him happy with Jess. She became your best friend, too. For the first time in your life you felt comfortable. You had been in the same place for four years and made close friends. You had inside jokes and plans for the future. You and Sam were both about to interview for law school. Everything seemed idyllic.

Until one day it wasn’t. Sam’s brother, who you had heard stories of, had shown up, Jess told you one weekend. Their dad had apparently gone missing, which was unlike him.

“I’m just worried he won’t make it back in time and he’ll miss his interview,” Jess said over the phone with you that afternoon.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” you comforted her as you sorted through your laundry. “Besides, that interview is all he’s been talking about for the past four months. He wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

“You’re right,” she sighs. “I’m baking cookies for him tomorrow as a little good luck and welcome back treat. Want to come over and help?”

“I wish I could, but I’ve got to prep for my own interview. I’m super nervous about it.” You stomach knotted at the thought of it and you thought about how silly it was in the grand scheme of things. “Save some for me, though.”

“I will. And don’t stress over your interview – you’ll be great. That school would be lucky to have you there.” You could hear her kind smile through the phone. “See you Tuesday for drinks?”

“Yeah, definitely. Talk to you later.” But you would never get to Tuesday night drinks with her. You would never get to thank her for the kind and encouraging words she gave you not only that afternoon but throughout your whole friendship.

You were walking to class that morning when you heard murmurs and whispers throughout the campus. Idle gossip was never really something you paid attention to, but this was piquing your interest. As you sat down in your first class of the day your friend Jill looked at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N, I – I thought you wouldn’t be here today,” she said quietly with concern heavy in her voice.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” you were confused by her tone and demeanor.

“It’s just with what happened to Jess… I know you two were close. I’m sure Sam is devastated, too.”

“What are you talking about?”

Your vision blurred and your breakfast threatened to reemerge from your stomach as you listened to Jill tell you about your best friend’s death. Tears filled your eyes faster than you could control and soon you were weeping in the middle of your Spanish class. You could feel everyone looking at you but you didn’t care. You quickly gathered your things and ran out the door. You went back to your apartment and looked up everything you could on what happened. One of your best friends had died in a fire. Her whole apartment had caught up in flames and according to the article you found, they were still investigating what happened.

You couldn’t think straight. You lost track of time. Before you knew it, it was twilight outside. You suddenly realized you hadn’t heard from Sam. With shaky hands you reached for your phone and dialed his number. You got his voicemail.

“Sam?” his name croaked out of your mouth. “Sam I’m not sure if you heard, but – uh – something’s happened with Jess. It’s bad. I need to know if you’re okay. Okay? Call me please.” You hung up and stared at your phone, willing a return call.

Instead you got a call you weren’t expecting. You dried your eyes with the heels of your hands before you answered it. “Now’s not a good time.” You said flatly to the person on the other end. The voice spoke for a moment and you listened. “Well I’m not sure if you heard but something’s happened to Jess.” You were becoming more annoyed as you listened to them. “I’m trying to get ahold of Sam, but I’m not sure where he is. He didn’t answer my call.” You weren’t sure why you were still talking to them at this point. “Yes, I understand. I’ll be in touch,” you ended the call and dropped your head into your hands. The pain that sat in your stomach at the thought of Jess dying and Sam being in the wind made you upset. You cursed at yourself for making friends and letting your guard down.

The next few days went past in a whirlwind. You had your law school interview, but it did not seem to matter anymore. You helped Jess’s parents with the funeral. You offered a comforting hand on their shoulders as they cried and served little sandwiches to guests after the service. It was beautiful, everyone had said. So many people from school and her hometown showed up offering their condolences. All but the one person you thought should be there – Sam.

Later that night you sat staring at your computer monitor for a bit. Your mind’s eye was still filled with images of the beautiful flowers, Jess’s smiling face in pictures, and her grieving parents. You bit at a fingernail as you opened up a new email.

Sam,

You missed Jess’s funeral today. It was beautiful. There were lilies everywhere like she likes and they even sang that stupid song that we always made fun of her for liking. Everyone who spoke had nice things to say about her. Her parents asked if you were okay and I told them you were. I’m not sure where you are but I hope it’s true. I know this is probably hard on you but please don’t shut me out. I’m here for you if you need me. At least let me know you’re okay.

Love,

Y/N

As you hit send you imagined a little envelope flittering away to wherever he was at that moment. You wondered how he was feeling and why he was being so distant with you. It seemed like now more than ever was when he needed someone like you. But you knew that grief hit everyone differently, so you let it slide.

About an hour passed when you heard the ping from your computer. You had a new email.

Y/N,

I’m sorry I’ve been so distant and I missed the funeral. I’m glad it was beautiful. She deserved it and so much more. I’m safe. I’m with my brother. I’m not sure if or when I’ll be back. I’m sorry.

Love,

Sam

You thought for a moment about all of the things you wanted to say to him. How upset you were that he was throwing away his future and how that was not what Jess would have wanted. Instead you took some calming breaths and hit reply:

I’m glad you’re safe. Please keep in touch. You know I’m always around if you need my help. X

A smile flashed across your lips as you read his quick reply:

Don’t worry, I will. You’re stuck with me.

School was never the same after Sam left and Jess died. You felt like you didn’t have a reason to be there. You went through the motions the last semester and graduated, but there was no one to celebrate the moment with. Your own family was too distant to care and your two best friends were gone. It all seemed so hollow. You cursed to yourself for getting close to people because this is what happens every time. Either you leave or they leave.

Law school was a bit harder, which was to be expected. Of course your vow to never get close to people broke a little here and there as you met new friends along the way. You were always there when they needed you but you always kept them at arm’s length to avoid future problems.

Helping people was in your nature. It was what you were born to do. After law school you found yourself working for Social Services, helping needy families. A routine started to develop for you: work, drinks or dinner with a couple friends, home, repeat. It was the cozy life you never dreamed you’d have. Everything was simple and predictable.

At least until there was a knock at your door at three in the morning.

Part 3

Tags:

@emilywritesaboutdean @pinknerdpanda @hannahindie @trexrambling @wheresthekillswitch @narisjournal-blog @jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @casbabydontgoineedyou @simplydaisys @winchesters-favorite-girl @emwinchester1

[hypnokinkwithmrdream]

Golden Rule

(This is hypnokinky erotic fiction, and contains hypnotic language being used in a sort of con-noncon way... Yeah lets stick with that. It’s con-noncon. Sure. Fucking keep it together! Don’t just drop into trance cause you are reading someone writing about hypnosis. Have some dignity... Warning over)

“...and when you awake you will find your hands moving to tease your nipples, your lips, stroking your hair, doing all the things you like best, anytime you see, hear, or think of the name Jill, yet it will seem so natural as if you were simply responding, easy and automatic, and as always accepting this as part of who you are. When you wonder why you are doing it, your hands will do what they do so well, what they need to do, teasing and distracting you from whatever you were thinking. You will do this so easily and casually at times that you may find yourself only realizing it is happening after it is already over, as your body becomes more turned on from your naughty hot little hands. Of course your hands know when they need to wait to take advantage of your horny body, so if you see, hear, or think of the name Jill, it make take some time before your hands automatically respond, which will only make it seem more random, as they wait, patiently but eagerly, to molest you without any real control.

Now, as you begin to accept this, and you hear the name Jill, you will respond, and each time you respond it will be more automatic. Jill. Jill. Jill.

Now look at this paper, and stare at it, as you read the word Jill, and feel yourself automatically respond, your eyes close, and when they open, you see it again, and each time more instant, automatic, so easy to just respond free of thought, choice, inhibition, restraint, until you finally accept it so completely that you wake up from trance as if from a dream...”

Jill watched Ella mindlessly teasing herself, her hands now a mischievous lover, turning Ella on whenever she glanced at the page before her.

“So, he said it was okay for you to hypnotize me without him there?” Ella asked the question, a bit short of breath but almost as if she was unaware that her fingers were idly stroking her nipples through the baby blue cotton t-shirt she tended to wear when she was just hanging out in her bedroom.

Jill nodded, barely able to hide her excitement as her friend continued to run her hands along her small but curvaceous body. “Yeah he just made a few suggestions on making sure that nothing we did caused any problems. You can talk to him if you have any worries.”

Ella looked at Jill, and then noticed she was sucking on her own finger, “I think I need to grab something to eat. Can I get you anything, Jill?” She stood up and began to walk to the door, her motions somewhat awkward as she took a bit longer than usual to adjust her shirt and shorts.

Jill shook her head absently, distracted for some reason as her fingers ran up her bare legs, squeezing her thighs. Her mind raced as she barely registered the sounds of Ella  furiously masturbating in the kitchen.

Ella returned to find Jill staring at her name on the sheet of paper, drool leaking out of her lips as her hands slowly moved under her pleated skirt.

“Jill, are you okay?” Ella gasped even as she flopped down on the bed, her fingers pinching her nipples, wondering at Jill’s behavior for a moment before becoming distracted.

Jill gasped as she heard her name, and looked up from the page, her eyes glassy. “Oh shit! What did that fucker do?”

Suddenly her mind flashed back to the conversation from the previous night.

“Of course if you both want to explore hypnosis together I am absolutely fine with that. You guys are grownups,” he said.

“I wouldn’t do anything to her that I wouldn’t want for myself,” Jill responded, as she noticed the smile on his face. It was ‘the smile’, the one she always noticed when he had an idea.

“Well that seems like a reasonable rule, and of course you are very aware of what things you would want done to yourself, so it should make it so very easy for you to think of what to do to Ella, that you would want done to you, when you are thinking of how she will respond, and imagining how you would respond. It would almost be as if you were hypnotizing yourself, you are so similar in desires, and so similar in responses, why it would be so easy to imagine that even though you are hypnotizing Ella, controlling her, conditioning her, making her do what you want, that you are actually just doing it to yourself, and that makes it easier to say just the right things because whatever would work so well on you as you hypnotized yourself would work on Ella, so easy in fact that you wouldn’t even think of how you were hypnotizing yourself, really, it would definitely feel just as if it was Ella who was responding perfectly, that seems really good doesn’t it?”

Jill nodded and smiled as she came back to paying attention to what he was saying. She had been lost in thought of what it was that she wanted to do to Ella, and was a bit excited and distracted.

“Yeah that sounds great. I’ll let you know how it turns out.”

“Just keep things simple at first, and make sure to suggest some safety stuff.”

***

Ella sat staring at her friend as she seemed to blank out, “Jill? Jill? Jill...”

@hypno-sandwich, @zanythoughts, @diaryofasnowflake, @the-perfect-monster, @cckitten78, @h-sleepingirl

[grizbehr]

Second Chances - Part Two

Future AU: The reunion over, Lucas and Lily return to Texas and Riley returns to her job overseas. Will the difficulties of distance and their own lives cause problems for their reemerging relationship

Part One   Chapter List

Chapter Sixteen - The Calm Before the Storm

Riley glanced around the empty flat. Well, hardly empty. The furniture which came with the place was still there, but everything that made it hers was gone. The pictures and books, clothes and dishes. Those were all packed and shipped back to her parents' place. All she had left was the suitcase at her side. The cleaners were coming on the morrow and Riley had just finished a last walk through to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"Knock, knock," a familiar voice came from the open door behind her.

"Who's there," she asked with a smile, turning to face him.

James stood there, leaning against the door frame. "You're erstwhile boyfriend who is desperate not to let you get away," he said.

"You're erstwhile boyfriend who is desperate not to let you get away…who?"

"So you're really leaving?"

"I am." Riley sat down on the couch and motioned James to join her.

"And nothing I can say or do will change your mind," he said as he sat, draping one arm across the back of the couch, almost touching her shoulder.

"No," Riley said. "I'm going home."

"This has been your home for the past three years," James countered.

"No it hasn't," Riley explained. "Don't get me wrong. I love it here. But it's never been home. It's where I ran away from home to." Riley looked away from James at the blank wall where the pictures had been. their ghosts still visible. She stood up and looked at the wall, remembering a similar wall in a cabin in Upstate New York. "I guess I'm more like Uncle Shawn than I thought," she said mostly to herself.

"I don't think you've every mentioned an Uncle Shawn," James said, still sprawled out on the couch. Riley turned to face him, and then pointed at a blank space on the wall.

"This was him," she said. "It's a photo I took of us on the beach one day. Uncle Shawn is the one who gave me my first camera and then taught me how to use it. Of course, he wasn't really my uncle. He was my father's best friend.

"When I was little, he lived with us. He was…jealous isn't really the right word, but it will do. He was jealous of what my father had. He had my mother and me. Uncle Shawn never felt that he had anything or anyone. So he left. I did the same thing. All of my friends were moving on with their lives and I felt stuck. I came here more to get away from that than to actually do something. But even here was more a way station than anything else. This is where I dropped my bags while I went anywhere else. I was never really here, and once I leave, it will be like I never was."

"I wouldn't say that," James said, standing up and coming over to her. "You made a definite impression on me." He put his hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from it slightly. "But I guess you're going back to that farmer of yours."

"He's not a farmer," Riley retorted, turning to face him. "He's a veterinarian. And no, I'm not going back for him. I'm going back to New York where my family is. Lucas and his daughter live in Texas."

"So I've still got a chance," James said, half jokingly.

"No," Riley replied. "My heart belongs to Lucas. That hasn't changed in twenty years."

"Well, a gent can hope." James gave Riley his half smile. Like always, Riley couldn't help but smile at it. "What about employment? Have you talked with your editor about getting a position back in the States?"

"No," Riley said. "He wasn't really in the mood to listen. I guess I can't blame him. I did run out on him without a real explanation. I'll find something."

"Well, I could make a few calls. I still think you'd be great on television."

"Thank you, but no." Riley crossed her arms over her chest. "This is my mess. I'll clean it up. Besides, I don't know if I want to work for a big company again. Maybe I'll go freelance. Sell my stories to whomever wants them."

"I have a feeling you'll land on your feet." James put his hands behind his back and rocked back on his heels. "So, when are you headed off? I could give you a lift to the airport."

"I was just going to call a cab but, sure. Why not? My flight leaves at eight."

"Then we can get a bite to eat before hand." James reached down and picked up Riley's luggage. The two headed out the door, Riley taking a last look behind her.

"Bye," she said softly, closing and locking the door.

Lucas sat at his desk as he addressed his staff. Jack and Jill Hill, who had been his vet techs for a number of years, and his two new vets, Anderson and Taylor, were sitting facing him.

"I want to tell you that I think you are all doing an amazing job," he started. "I know it's been unfair that I've been leaning on you four to take over the office the past month, especially you, Taylor and Anderson. I didn't have much time to ease you into the job before personal things pulled me away. Especially since I picked up another practice right when it happened. But I have heard nothing but good things about you and how you treat the clients."

"Because you have all done so well, I've made a decision." His four employees suddenly started looking nervous. "I've decided to step back a little from the practice. I will still be here in the office, but I want you to take the lead in the cases that come in. If we get busy or if you need help or, of course, if anyone wants me specifically, I'll be here. I also will randomly accompany you on some cases out of the office, but I'll leave it in you're capable hands. I have complete confidence in all of you and I trust you to represent this office in a professional and competent manner."

"Any questions?"

"Yeah," Jill said. "How's Lily?"

Lucas looked over at the young woman. "She's doing as well as can be expected. She's getting stronger by the day."

"Well, we just wanted you to know we care about her," her twin brother Jack said. "We know how important she is, and we can pick up any slack that comes along."

"Thank you," Lucas replied. His heart stirred at the feelings he was getting from these people who worked for him. While he was friendly with them, he had always kept a professional detachment from them so never considered them friends. He might have to reconsider his classification of them. "If that's all, let's get back to work. And let me know if you need anything."

They filed out and Lucas but his boots up on his desk. Leaning back in his chair, he picked up the stack of files on his desk to catch up on what he missed. Most of the files were standard, but he marked things he wanted to check up on personally. While reading, he zoned out a little, thinking about the ride with Riley. He smiled fondly as she had brought out the English style picnic she had prepared for them. She had fed him the cucumber sandwiches with watercress she had made. There was also Scotch eggs and cheese scones which were delightful. She had been so proud that she had managed to pull it off. Afterwards, they lay there, Riley's head on his chest.

He was brought out of his reverie by one of the last files. "Oh, no," he said. "No, no, no, no."

Lily lay on her bed, relaxing after a hard day at physical therapy. Her therapist had been encouraging about how far she had come.

"I think we should switch to a cane instead of a walker," she had told Lily after she had successfully walked across the room with one.

"My doctor told me that there was evidence that the nerves are repairing," Lily said enthusiastically as she collapsed in her chair after the effort. "I'm getting some feeling back."

"That's wonderful. But it will still take time, and it might not come back at one hundred percent. You need to keep working, even when you're not here."

She looked over at the cane the therapist had given her. The dull gray shaft was unappealing, and she had an idea. She picked it up and limped over to her closet. At the bottom of the closet was a stickered tool box. She turned her cane around and hooked the handle so she wouldn't have to lean over. She then limped back to her bed and opened it. A few years ago, she had gotten into scrapbooking and this tool box held her supplies. She pulled out the ribbons and stickers and started decorating the cane. Pink, purple, and turquoise ribbons braided up the shaft of the cane, held on with hot glue. Then she added stickers of horses, hearts, and unicorns. She looked it over and then sprayed on a clear varnish before sprinkling it with glitter.

She rose up from the bed and leaned on her cane in front of the mirror. "That's better," she said to herself.

As she let herself back down to her bed, she caught a glance at her phone. She picked it up and glanced at the number of missed messages from both Dave and Maggie. "I'll look at them tomorrow," she said to herself, placing the phone back down. She lay back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. It had been a month since she had been on her phone, which was unlike her. Stranger still was she found that she didn't miss it. She did know that she had to reach out to them, and now that she was doing better, she thought she could.

From the other room, she heard her father come in. Picking up her cane again, she limped out of her room to show him her decorations. She was surprised when she heard his voice coming from the kitchen instead of either his office or the living room. Knowing she shouldn't, she stopped to eavesdrop outside the door.

"I don't know how to tell her, Maria," her father was saying. "She's gone through so much."

"I don't know, Mister Lucas," Maria said. "Before this accident, I'd say she could take it. But now, I'm not so sure."

"It's going to break her heart. And there's nothing I can do about it now. Mister Thompson has already sold her and shipped her off to Kentucky."

Lily's eyes widened as she realized what was being said. She tore open the door and stood there before her father and Maria.

"What do you mean," she screamed. "Lily's gone?!"

Chapter Seventeen - If it's Not One Thing

[entergamingxp]

Resident Evil 3 — The 5 Biggest Gameplay Changes from Resident Evil 2

April 3, 2020 10:00 AM EST

Resident Evil 3 features a lot of similarities to its predecessor, but here are a few of the most notable changes from Resident Evil 2.

Coming just over a year after the release of Resident Evil 2, it’s time once again to head back to Raccoon City for another night of horrors with Resident Evil 3. Given that Resident Evil 2 managed to perfectly blend the nostalgia of the classic original RE2 with gorgeous visuals and some modern touches, Resident Evil 3 (which arrives today on consoles and PC) definitely follows its predecessor’s tracks with an even bigger and more action-packed scope.

For the most part, a lot of Resident Evil 3 looks and plays pretty similarly to what made Resident Evil 2 so effective when it debuted last year. Spooky environments? Check. A relentless big bad chasing you over the course of the game? Double check.

However, there are plenty of new additions that Resident Evil 3 brings to the table compared to what we saw from RE2, and I’m not just talking about Martin Sandwich. Here are a few of the biggest gameplay changes that RE3 introduces from what we saw in RE2.

Nemesis is a bigger, badder Mr. X

By far the marquee feature of Resident Evil 3 is the introduction of Nemesis, the superpowered bio-weapon that is nigh unkillable. Those that played Resident Evil 2 should already know a bit of what to expect from having to evade the relentless pursuit of Mr. X. However, this time around Nemesis comes packing heat.

On top of appearing in different areas unexpectedly and being a force to reckon with, Nemesis has a few other tricks up his sleeve that make him a more significant new threat compared with Mr. X. While Nemesis follows in the footsteps of Mr. X (literally and metaphorically) by following Jill relentlessly, he also can pull players in from afar with tentacles and blast players away with weapons later on in the game.

Given that there is little to nothing that you can do against Nemesis in most of RE3 (other than a few scripted boss fights), your best option generally is to run away from him and find a safe room, which he can fact not enter. Though Mr. X is probably the scarier of the two big bads between RE2 and RE3, Nemesis is no slouch either. Stay tuned for our upcoming guide on how to deal with Nemesis specifically.

You were almost a Jill “Dodge Roll” Sandwich

It’s been a while since we’ve been able to play as Jill Valentine in a Resident Evil game, at least not since Resident Evil Revelations. Thankfully, RE3 finally gives us the chance to hop back into the role of everyone’s favorite STARS agent alongside her newfound companion, Carlos, to take on the new threats facing Raccoon City.

By and large, playing as and controlling Jill and Carlos in RE3 will feel nearly similar to how Leon and Claire played in RE2. However, the most notable new gameplay feature that is introduced for both Jill and Claire are new defensive maneuvers to help you survive against the game’s numerous enemies. Jill has the ability to dodge incoming zombies or other enemies, and if you time your button press right as an enemy is about to attack, you can trigger a dodge roll to safely evade them. Likewise, Carlos can evade and push back zombies that get too close, giving you the perfect opportunity to follow up with your assault rifle or pistol.

While this isn’t a major change compared to what we saw from RE2, these new defensive options in RE3 are still a significant aid for both Jill and Carlos while trying to evade an army of zombies and other enemies on top of Nemesis being on their tail. Given that you’ll fight a lot of enemies that can move pretty quickly, I would recommend making use of these new abilities and finding the timing window that will help you to avoid attacks.

Now that’s a knife

With Resident Evil 3, it seems like someone on STARS figured out how to make knives that will be able to last in a fight a bit longer. While Leon and Claire had access to knives in RE2, if you used them as defensive weapons against zombies that grabbed them, you’d end up breaking the knife and having to find more.

Thankfully, this time around in RE3, both Jill and Carlos now have access to an unbreakable knife throughout the course of the game. Though it is considerably less powerful than other weapons like the pistol, shotgun, or assault rifle, having access to a knife at all times is still a big advantage when faced with so many enemies. This time around, you can use the knife at will to determine if a zombie that is laying on the ground is actually dead (or not), and lets you rack up some damage or a killing blow on a zombie that is knocked down.

Remember: love your knife, use your knife.

Raccoon City gets even bigger

As the key location in both RE2 and RE3, players get to experience first-hand the devastation that is wreaking havoc on Raccoon City in the midst of a viral outbreak. Though that might hit a little close to home in current events, Raccoon City is in pandemonium, and more than ever, players will get to see a ton of new parts of Raccoon City than ever before.

One of the key changes in RE3 is that aside from players getting to see some new locations in Raccoon City, the environments and areas that you get to explore have opened up in some significant ways. In the first half of the game especially, you’ll get to explore a large part of downtown Raccoon City and find yourself traversing through different stores and areas, so learning the best routes to get from point A to point B will help you out a lot. Likewise, if you’re able to open up shortcuts and know the best safe areas in a section of the map, you’ll have a much easier time trying to get off the trail of Nemesis when he shows up.

With several larger new environments and areas, RE3 gives players a chance to explore in a deeper way as Jill and Carlos. Aside from giving you the chance to find much-needed supplies such as ammo and healing items, if you’re observant you’ll even find some interesting ways that the areas of RE3 intersect with the events of RE2.

There aren’t just zombies anymore

Resident Evil 3 is swimming in zombies, especially now that players will have to venture into some of the biggest parts of Raccoon City. However, this time around you’ll have to face a lot more than just zombies, zombie dogs, Lickers, and a few of the other enemies that you fought off as Leon and Claire in RE2.

Right from the start, Resident Evil 3 introduces several new enemy types that you’ll have to endure aside from your typical household zombie. Some of the most terrifying new additions include some disturbing spiders that like to hang from ceilings and attempt to lay eggs into you, or a new zombie type that will attempt to latch onto your face with the help of a grotesque parasite. You’ll also get to see a few more horrors that RE3 has in store in some of the later sections of the game, such as a sewer-dwelling beast that can swallow you whole, alongside the return of a classic Resident Evil foe, the Hunter.

The moral of the story: Resident Evil 3 will keep you on your toes with a lot of other terrifying enemies, even when Nemesis isn’t stomping around trying to crush your skull.

Resident Evil 3 is available now on PS4, Xbox One, and PC.

April 3, 2020 10:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/04/resident-evil-3-the-5-biggest-gameplay-changes-from-resident-evil-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=resident-evil-3-the-5-biggest-gameplay-changes-from-resident-evil-2

[networkingdefinition]

Garlic Quotes

Official Website: Garlic Quotes

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• A basic all-purpose rub: mix together one or two tablespoons equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, and onion powder. That will give you real good base for any kind of meat. Just increase the amount if you’re grilling large quantities. – Johnny Trigg • A garlic caress is stimulating. A garlic excess soporific. – Curnonsky • A gold standard is to the moochers and looters in government what sunlight and garlic are to vampires. – Herman Cain • A good hamburger mix: add equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, onion powder and some chopped onion. And mix in a little barbecue sauce, which will add even more great flavor. – Johnny Trigg • A plot without action is like pasta without garlic, like Dolly Parton without cleavage, and like a writer without his similes. – Dean Koontz

• After waking up, I take my vitamins and eat fruit or, sometimes, bread with garlic, which is good for your health. – Jordi Molla • And if you worry that not finishing the food on your plate is a slap in the face of all the hungry people everywhere, you are not living in reality. The truth is that you either throw the food out or you throw it in, but either way it turns to waste. World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate. – Geneen Roth • Animals have rights, to be smothered with garlic and butter! – Ted Nugent • As a rule they will refuse even to sample a foreign dish, they regard such things as garlic and olive oil with disgust, life is unliveable to them unless they have tea and puddings. – George Orwell • Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain

  jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Garlic', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beetroot, garlic, lemon … and buy a bottle of olive oil. All these things are very critical. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Danger is to adventure what garlic is to spaghetti sauce. Without it, you just end up with stewed tomatoes. – Tom Robbins • Do not eat garlic or onions; for their smell will reveal that you are a peasant. – Miguel de Cervantes • Do you guys have any raw garlic? – Shailene Woodley

• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away… Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense. – Calvin Trillin

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • For a rub with sweet tang: mix just a little bit of light brown sugar to garlic pepper, black pepper, and onion powder. – Johnny Trigg • Garlic bread – it’s the future, I’ve tasted it. – Peter Kay • Garlic is as good as ten mothers. – Les Blank • Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime…Please, treat your garlic with respect…Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain • Garlic, like perfume, must be used with discretion and on the proper occasions. – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings • Garlick maketh a man wynke, drynke, and stynke. – Thomas Nash • Hatred, for the man who is not engaged in it, is a little like the odor of garlic for one who hasn’t eaten any. – Jean Rostand • He added that a Frenchman in the train had given him a great sandwich that so stank of garlic that he had been inclined to throw it at the fellow’s head. – Ford Madox Ford • Home-made bread rubbed with garlic and sprinkled with olive oil, shared-with a flask of wine-between working people, can be more convivial than any feast. – Patience Gray • I always get nervous before a kissing scene. I make sure I always brush my teeth and eat lots of fruit and nice foods rather than garlic. I’m terribly self conscious. – Drew Barrymore • I am very moody when I cook. I cook according to the way I feel at the moment. A little of this, a little of that, and almost always a coupcon of garlic. I never proceed by the rules. – Marcel Tabuteau • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I do a chimichurri sauce with garlic, parsley, olive oil, and red and black pepper. You just mince the garlic and the parsley and mix it all together. Brush a little of that on a steak and it kicks it up, like, 10 notches. – Julie Gonzalo • I don’t want to sound too mystical or weird but it’s important to know what garlic smells like when it’s cooking, or what eggs look like when they’re cracked out of a shell. – Joel Salatin • I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn’t need to pay. So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread. – Gareth Gates • I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill. – William Shakespeare • I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I started to bring my lunchbox with sardine sandwiches and calamari that I would eat off my fingers like rings. I was also always reeking of garlic. – Rachael Ray • I have a trainer who comes three times a week and just listens to me moan… and I keep fit and keep moving… and I do watch what I eat. I am a vegetarian… I can’t eat crazy food. I’m highly allergic to onions and garlic and spices… I’ve never had a pizza, never had a curry. – Ringo Starr • I love garlic, and I use it often. – Eric Ripert • I love to cook. In fact, at this exact moment, I am trying something new: I am cooking a whole chicken in my crockpot, which I’ve never done before. I browned it with garlic powder, salt and pepper, and I put a bunch of celery and onions – which I’ll have to hide from the children because they claim to hate onions – and I’m going to make homemade mashed cream potatoes. I always, before I leave for work in the morning, have supper cooking. That way, when I come home and they come home from school, there’s all kinds of good smells in the house. – Nancy Grace • I panicked when my son, Jett, stopped eating baby food. He’s only two but his food vocabulary is fantastic. He likes my baked tilapia and string beans with chopped garlic. But he really likes pizza. Sometimes every inanimate object to him is pizza. – Jill Scott • I think garlic is absolutely critical. Lemon is absolutely critical to boost the immune system. Olive oil is absolutely critical … just one teaspoon, it will last the whole month. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • I use a lot of fresh citrus, garlic, and fresh herbs when cooking to cut down on fat and sodium but punch up flavor. Our cupboards and fridge are full of condiments – mustards, vinegars, etc. that also add tons of flavor but are low in fat, calories, or other processed additives. – Cat Cora • I used to like eating frozen corn straight out of the bag. But I also love microwaving frozen corn and adding butter and sugar and garlic powder and chili powder to it. And sometimes I just like to microwave it and add a little bit of hot sauce to it. My friends always laugh at me when they catch me eating it. – Thu Tran • If Ive gone to the market on Saturday, and I go another time on Tuesday, then Im really prepared. I can cook a little piece of fish; I can wilt some greens with garlic; I can slice tomatoes and put a little olive oil on. Its effortless. – Alice Waters • If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third. – Heather Brewer • If you can smell garlic, everything is all right. – J. G. Ballard • If you like garlic, you’ll like ramps. – Jim Chamberlin • If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic. – Heather Brewer • I’m not a vegetarian, and I like filet minion which is sort of a guilty pleasure because I have vegetarian leanings. I eat that once in a while, but generally speaking I like to eat vegetarian things. I really like pasta. I really like bread with olive oil and garlic and I like salads. – Jesse Michaels • I’m particularly fond of boned chicken breasts with a little garlic under the flesh and cooked in a casserole for 40 minutes with a jar of olives, some cherry tomatoes and a spoonful of olive oil. – Maeve Binchy • In Manhasset you were either Yankees or Mets, rich or poor, sober or drunk…You were ‘Gaelic’ or ‘garlic,” as one schoolmate told me, and I couldn’t admit, to him or myself, that I had both Irish and Italian ancestors. – J. R. Moehringer • In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a pizza. – Jimmy Carr • It has been said of garlic that everyone knows its odor save he who has eaten it, and who wonders why everyone flies at his approach. – George Ellwanger • It’s a comfort to always find pasta in the cupboard and garlic and parsley in the garden. – Alice Waters • It’s very freaky in Chicago.There’s something in the water there, I don’t know what it is. But the actual word Chicago means, in the Indian language, garlic. It was just garlic and mosquitoes there. And that is the roughest city on the planet, and I been to every place in the world. – Quincy Jones • Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don’s remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I’d probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed. – Jeaniene Frost • Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath. – William Shakespeare • My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic. – Tyler Florence • My favorite is the garlic press. I think it’s beautiful as an object. But the awkward part of it all is that I don’t use it much because I’m allergic to garlic. – Michael Graves • My favorite to cook is this recipe I’ve been making since I was 12 years old with my mom, and it’s an angel hair shrimp pasta with tomatoes, feta, garlic, white wine – it’s so easy but so fresh and so delicious! – Devon Windsor • My final, considered judgment is that the hardy bulb [garlic] blesses and ennobles everything it touches – with the possible exception of ice cream and pie. – Angelo Pellegrini • My mother was making $135 a week, but she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam, and it would taste like a four-star dinner. – Andre Dubus • My perfect last meal would be: shrimp cocktail, lasagna, steak, creamed spinach, salad with bleu cheese dressing, onion rings, garlic bread, and a dessert of strawberry shortcake. – Joan Rivers • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Not me, paranoia’s the garlic in life’s kitchen, right, you can never have too much. – Thomas Pynchon • Of the many smells of Athens two seem to me the most characteristic – that of garlic, bold and deadly like acetylene gas. and that of dust, soft and warm and caressing like tweed. – Evelyn Waugh • Or you can broil the meat, fry the onions, stew the garlic in the red wine…and ask me to supper. I’ll not care, really, even if your nose is a little shiny, so long as you are self-possessed and sure that wolf or no wolf, your mind is your own and your heart is another’s and therefore in the right place. – M. F. K. Fisher • Our lives are full of stress. Some meditate, some walk, some sing and dance. Nature offers us garlic, maitake and hibiscus to relieve stress – Gunter Pauli • Peace and happiness, begin, geographically, where garlic is used in cooking. – Marcel Boulestin • Peppers, garlic, hazelnuts and brazil nuts make my mouth, tongue and eyes swell and itch within minutes of eating them. – Andrea McLean • piety is like garlic: a little goes a long way. – Rita Mae Brown • PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. – Ambrose Bierce • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Raw garlic and a skin of the lemon – not only do they give you a beautiful face and skin but they also protect you from disease. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Some hours after eating this dish [lièvre à la royale, which contains 20 cloves of garlic and twice that quantity of shallots], there is a peculiar sensation of liberation in the head. and it is sensation of smell. – Patience Gray • Stop and smell the garlic! That’s all you have to do. – William Shatner • The air in Provence is impregnated with the aroma of garlic, which makes it very healthful to breathe. – Alexandre Dumas • The Brit abroad is always the voice of caution. Persons of other cultures are known to be undisciplined, prone to leaning out of car windows and cooking with garlic. – Nick Harkaway • The combination of olive oil, garlic and lemon juice lifts the spirits in winter. – Yotam Ottolenghi • The fashion industry isn’t merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn’t wearing ridiculously tight pants. – Diablo Cody • The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out. – Calvin Trillin • The grotesque prudishness and archness with which garlic is treated in [England] has led to the superstition that rubbing the bowl with it before putting the salad in gives sufficient flavor. It rather depends whether you are going to eat the bowl or the salad. – Elizabeth David • The most annoying person on the BBC is Russell Brand, I’ve actually been close up to that boy. He smells like when you mix garlic with coffee and alcohol. I’m just saying when you get close to him, he could do with a bit of Sure For Men, he stinks. – Noel Gallagher • The most overrated ingredients are garlic and extra-virgin olive oil. With garlic, it’s personal; I have never been that big of a fan of its flavor. As for extra-virgin olive oil, I do use it quite often but its ubiquity serves to overshadow many wonderful oils like pistachio, walnut, argan and even grapeseed. – Lela Rose • The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don’t do it unless you’re willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps. – Jim Harrison • The strands of spaghetti were vital, almost alive in my mouth, and the olive oil was singing with flavor. It was hard to imagine that four simple ingredients [olive oil, pasta, garlic and cheese] could marry so perfectly. – Ruth Reichl • The summer has seized you, as when, last month in Amalfi, I saw lemons as large as your desk-side globe-that miniature map of the world-and I could mention, too, the market stalls of mushrooms and garlic bugs all engorged. Or I even think of the orchard next door, where the berries are done and the apples are beginning to swell. And once, with our first backyard,I remember I planted an acre of yellow beans we couldn’t eat. – Anne Sexton • There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic. – Louis Diat • There are many miracles in the world to be celebrated and, for me, garlic is the most deserving. – Leo Buscaglia • There are three things you cannot hide: smell of the garlic, fragrance of the flower and the wisdom of the teacher. – Harbhajan Singh Yogi • There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. – Kenneth Grahame • There’s no doubt that after you eat a lot of garlic, you just kind of feel like you are floating, you feel ultra-confident, you feel capable of going out and whipping your weight in wild cats. – Les Blank • This Bouillabaisse a noble dish is – A sort of soup or broth, or brew, Or hotchpotch of all sorts of fishes, That Greenwich never could outdo; Green herbs, red peppers, mussels, saffron, Soles, onions, garlic, roach, and dace; All these you eat at Terre’s tavern, In that one dish of Bouillabaisse. – William Makepeace Thackeray • Vlad decided that teachers’ ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren’t careful, DEADLY. – Heather Brewer • Vulgarity is the garlic in the salad of charm. – Cyril Connolly • We have garlic days, and onion days. You know what they’re cooking. – Leslie White • What do you think? Young women of rank eat – you will never guess what – garlick! – Percy Bysshe Shelley • What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. – Augustus Saint-Gaudens • Without garlic I simply would not care to live. – Louis Diat • You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times. – Morley Safer • You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, You’ve got garlic in your soul. – Dr. Seuss

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Garlic Quotes

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• A basic all-purpose rub: mix together one or two tablespoons equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, and onion powder. That will give you real good base for any kind of meat. Just increase the amount if you’re grilling large quantities. – Johnny Trigg • A garlic caress is stimulating. A garlic excess soporific. – Curnonsky • A gold standard is to the moochers and looters in government what sunlight and garlic are to vampires. – Herman Cain • A good hamburger mix: add equal parts black pepper, granulated garlic, grilled onion, onion powder and some chopped onion. And mix in a little barbecue sauce, which will add even more great flavor. – Johnny Trigg • A plot without action is like pasta without garlic, like Dolly Parton without cleavage, and like a writer without his similes. – Dean Koontz

• After waking up, I take my vitamins and eat fruit or, sometimes, bread with garlic, which is good for your health. – Jordi Molla • And if you worry that not finishing the food on your plate is a slap in the face of all the hungry people everywhere, you are not living in reality. The truth is that you either throw the food out or you throw it in, but either way it turns to waste. World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate. – Geneen Roth • Animals have rights, to be smothered with garlic and butter! – Ted Nugent • As a rule they will refuse even to sample a foreign dish, they regard such things as garlic and olive oil with disgust, life is unliveable to them unless they have tea and puddings. – George Orwell • Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain

  jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Garlic', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_garlic img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Beetroot, garlic, lemon … and buy a bottle of olive oil. All these things are very critical. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Danger is to adventure what garlic is to spaghetti sauce. Without it, you just end up with stewed tomatoes. – Tom Robbins • Do not eat garlic or onions; for their smell will reveal that you are a peasant. – Miguel de Cervantes • Do you guys have any raw garlic? – Shailene Woodley

• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away… Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense. – Calvin Trillin

[clickbank-storefront-bestselling] • For a rub with sweet tang: mix just a little bit of light brown sugar to garlic pepper, black pepper, and onion powder. – Johnny Trigg • Garlic bread – it’s the future, I’ve tasted it. – Peter Kay • Garlic is as good as ten mothers. – Les Blank • Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime…Please, treat your garlic with respect…Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic. – Anthony Bourdain • Garlic, like perfume, must be used with discretion and on the proper occasions. – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings • Garlick maketh a man wynke, drynke, and stynke. – Thomas Nash • Hatred, for the man who is not engaged in it, is a little like the odor of garlic for one who hasn’t eaten any. – Jean Rostand • He added that a Frenchman in the train had given him a great sandwich that so stank of garlic that he had been inclined to throw it at the fellow’s head. – Ford Madox Ford • Home-made bread rubbed with garlic and sprinkled with olive oil, shared-with a flask of wine-between working people, can be more convivial than any feast. – Patience Gray • I always get nervous before a kissing scene. I make sure I always brush my teeth and eat lots of fruit and nice foods rather than garlic. I’m terribly self conscious. – Drew Barrymore • I am very moody when I cook. I cook according to the way I feel at the moment. A little of this, a little of that, and almost always a coupcon of garlic. I never proceed by the rules. – Marcel Tabuteau • I believe in the magic of preparation. You can make just about any foods taste wonderful by adding herbs and spices. Experiment with garlic, cilantro, basil and other fresh herbs on vegetables to make them taste great. – Jorge Cruise • I do a chimichurri sauce with garlic, parsley, olive oil, and red and black pepper. You just mince the garlic and the parsley and mix it all together. Brush a little of that on a steak and it kicks it up, like, 10 notches. – Julie Gonzalo • I don’t want to sound too mystical or weird but it’s important to know what garlic smells like when it’s cooking, or what eggs look like when they’re cracked out of a shell. – Joel Salatin • I had a meal in Pizza Hut and the waitress told me I didn’t need to pay. So I decided to be a bit cheeky and ask for more pizza and garlic bread. – Gareth Gates • I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill. – William Shakespeare • I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I started to bring my lunchbox with sardine sandwiches and calamari that I would eat off my fingers like rings. I was also always reeking of garlic. – Rachael Ray • I have a trainer who comes three times a week and just listens to me moan… and I keep fit and keep moving… and I do watch what I eat. I am a vegetarian… I can’t eat crazy food. I’m highly allergic to onions and garlic and spices… I’ve never had a pizza, never had a curry. – Ringo Starr • I love garlic, and I use it often. – Eric Ripert • I love to cook. In fact, at this exact moment, I am trying something new: I am cooking a whole chicken in my crockpot, which I’ve never done before. I browned it with garlic powder, salt and pepper, and I put a bunch of celery and onions – which I’ll have to hide from the children because they claim to hate onions – and I’m going to make homemade mashed cream potatoes. I always, before I leave for work in the morning, have supper cooking. That way, when I come home and they come home from school, there’s all kinds of good smells in the house. – Nancy Grace • I panicked when my son, Jett, stopped eating baby food. He’s only two but his food vocabulary is fantastic. He likes my baked tilapia and string beans with chopped garlic. But he really likes pizza. Sometimes every inanimate object to him is pizza. – Jill Scott • I think garlic is absolutely critical. Lemon is absolutely critical to boost the immune system. Olive oil is absolutely critical … just one teaspoon, it will last the whole month. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • I use a lot of fresh citrus, garlic, and fresh herbs when cooking to cut down on fat and sodium but punch up flavor. Our cupboards and fridge are full of condiments – mustards, vinegars, etc. that also add tons of flavor but are low in fat, calories, or other processed additives. – Cat Cora • I used to like eating frozen corn straight out of the bag. But I also love microwaving frozen corn and adding butter and sugar and garlic powder and chili powder to it. And sometimes I just like to microwave it and add a little bit of hot sauce to it. My friends always laugh at me when they catch me eating it. – Thu Tran • If Ive gone to the market on Saturday, and I go another time on Tuesday, then Im really prepared. I can cook a little piece of fish; I can wilt some greens with garlic; I can slice tomatoes and put a little olive oil on. Its effortless. – Alice Waters • If stakes and garlic were the top two things that could kill a vampire, ninth grade gym was a close third. – Heather Brewer • If you can smell garlic, everything is all right. – J. G. Ballard • If you like garlic, you’ll like ramps. – Jim Chamberlin • If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic. – Heather Brewer • I’m not a vegetarian, and I like filet minion which is sort of a guilty pleasure because I have vegetarian leanings. I eat that once in a while, but generally speaking I like to eat vegetarian things. I really like pasta. I really like bread with olive oil and garlic and I like salads. – Jesse Michaels • I’m particularly fond of boned chicken breasts with a little garlic under the flesh and cooked in a casserole for 40 minutes with a jar of olives, some cherry tomatoes and a spoonful of olive oil. – Maeve Binchy • In Manhasset you were either Yankees or Mets, rich or poor, sober or drunk…You were ‘Gaelic’ or ‘garlic,” as one schoolmate told me, and I couldn’t admit, to him or myself, that I had both Irish and Italian ancestors. – J. R. Moehringer • In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a pizza. – Jimmy Carr • It has been said of garlic that everyone knows its odor save he who has eaten it, and who wonders why everyone flies at his approach. – George Ellwanger • It’s a comfort to always find pasta in the cupboard and garlic and parsley in the garden. – Alice Waters • It’s very freaky in Chicago.There’s something in the water there, I don’t know what it is. But the actual word Chicago means, in the Indian language, garlic. It was just garlic and mosquitoes there. And that is the roughest city on the planet, and I been to every place in the world. – Quincy Jones • Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don’s remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I’d probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed. – Jeaniene Frost • Most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath. – William Shakespeare • My favorite comfort food would have be braised beef. You know, beef, slow-cooked in a Dutch oven or in a slow cooker until it falls apart with simple mushrooms, some onions and lots of fresh thyme and garlic. – Tyler Florence • My favorite is the garlic press. I think it’s beautiful as an object. But the awkward part of it all is that I don’t use it much because I’m allergic to garlic. – Michael Graves • My favorite to cook is this recipe I’ve been making since I was 12 years old with my mom, and it’s an angel hair shrimp pasta with tomatoes, feta, garlic, white wine – it’s so easy but so fresh and so delicious! – Devon Windsor • My final, considered judgment is that the hardy bulb [garlic] blesses and ennobles everything it touches – with the possible exception of ice cream and pie. – Angelo Pellegrini • My mother was making $135 a week, but she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam, and it would taste like a four-star dinner. – Andre Dubus • My perfect last meal would be: shrimp cocktail, lasagna, steak, creamed spinach, salad with bleu cheese dressing, onion rings, garlic bread, and a dessert of strawberry shortcake. – Joan Rivers • My wife and I use a lot of garlic and rosemary with roast lamb. It has to be New Zealand lamb. The domestic variety is too gamy, in my experience. – Alfred Molina • Not me, paranoia’s the garlic in life’s kitchen, right, you can never have too much. – Thomas Pynchon • Of the many smells of Athens two seem to me the most characteristic – that of garlic, bold and deadly like acetylene gas. and that of dust, soft and warm and caressing like tweed. – Evelyn Waugh • Or you can broil the meat, fry the onions, stew the garlic in the red wine…and ask me to supper. I’ll not care, really, even if your nose is a little shiny, so long as you are self-possessed and sure that wolf or no wolf, your mind is your own and your heart is another’s and therefore in the right place. – M. F. K. Fisher • Our lives are full of stress. Some meditate, some walk, some sing and dance. Nature offers us garlic, maitake and hibiscus to relieve stress – Gunter Pauli • Peace and happiness, begin, geographically, where garlic is used in cooking. – Marcel Boulestin • Peppers, garlic, hazelnuts and brazil nuts make my mouth, tongue and eyes swell and itch within minutes of eating them. – Andrea McLean • piety is like garlic: a little goes a long way. – Rita Mae Brown • PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. – Ambrose Bierce • Pounding fragrant things – particularly garlic, basil, parsley – is a tremendous antidote to depression. But it applies also to juniper berries, coriander seeds and the grilled fruits of the chilli pepper. Pounding these things produces an alteration in one’s being – from sighing with fatigue to inhaling with pleasure. The cheering effects of herbs and alliums cannot be too often reiterated. Virgil’s appetite was probably improved equally by pounding garlic as by eating it. – Patience Gray • Raw garlic and a skin of the lemon – not only do they give you a beautiful face and skin but they also protect you from disease. – Manto Tshabalala-Msimang • Some hours after eating this dish [lièvre à la royale, which contains 20 cloves of garlic and twice that quantity of shallots], there is a peculiar sensation of liberation in the head. and it is sensation of smell. – Patience Gray • Stop and smell the garlic! That’s all you have to do. – William Shatner • The air in Provence is impregnated with the aroma of garlic, which makes it very healthful to breathe. – Alexandre Dumas • The Brit abroad is always the voice of caution. Persons of other cultures are known to be undisciplined, prone to leaning out of car windows and cooking with garlic. – Nick Harkaway • The combination of olive oil, garlic and lemon juice lifts the spirits in winter. – Yotam Ottolenghi • The fashion industry isn’t merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn’t wearing ridiculously tight pants. – Diablo Cody • The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out. – Calvin Trillin • The grotesque prudishness and archness with which garlic is treated in [England] has led to the superstition that rubbing the bowl with it before putting the salad in gives sufficient flavor. It rather depends whether you are going to eat the bowl or the salad. – Elizabeth David • The most annoying person on the BBC is Russell Brand, I’ve actually been close up to that boy. He smells like when you mix garlic with coffee and alcohol. I’m just saying when you get close to him, he could do with a bit of Sure For Men, he stinks. – Noel Gallagher • The most overrated ingredients are garlic and extra-virgin olive oil. With garlic, it’s personal; I have never been that big of a fan of its flavor. As for extra-virgin olive oil, I do use it quite often but its ubiquity serves to overshadow many wonderful oils like pistachio, walnut, argan and even grapeseed. – Lela Rose • The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don’t do it unless you’re willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps. – Jim Harrison • The strands of spaghetti were vital, almost alive in my mouth, and the olive oil was singing with flavor. It was hard to imagine that four simple ingredients [olive oil, pasta, garlic and cheese] could marry so perfectly. – Ruth Reichl • The summer has seized you, as when, last month in Amalfi, I saw lemons as large as your desk-side globe-that miniature map of the world-and I could mention, too, the market stalls of mushrooms and garlic bugs all engorged. Or I even think of the orchard next door, where the berries are done and the apples are beginning to swell. And once, with our first backyard,I remember I planted an acre of yellow beans we couldn’t eat. – Anne Sexton • There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic. – Louis Diat • There are many miracles in the world to be celebrated and, for me, garlic is the most deserving. – Leo Buscaglia • There are three things you cannot hide: smell of the garlic, fragrance of the flower and the wisdom of the teacher. – Harbhajan Singh Yogi • There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. – Kenneth Grahame • There’s no doubt that after you eat a lot of garlic, you just kind of feel like you are floating, you feel ultra-confident, you feel capable of going out and whipping your weight in wild cats. – Les Blank • This Bouillabaisse a noble dish is – A sort of soup or broth, or brew, Or hotchpotch of all sorts of fishes, That Greenwich never could outdo; Green herbs, red peppers, mussels, saffron, Soles, onions, garlic, roach, and dace; All these you eat at Terre’s tavern, In that one dish of Bouillabaisse. – William Makepeace Thackeray • Vlad decided that teachers’ ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren’t careful, DEADLY. – Heather Brewer • Vulgarity is the garlic in the salad of charm. – Cyril Connolly • We have garlic days, and onion days. You know what they’re cooking. – Leslie White • What do you think? Young women of rank eat – you will never guess what – garlick! – Percy Bysshe Shelley • What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. – Augustus Saint-Gaudens • Without garlic I simply would not care to live. – Louis Diat • You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times. – Morley Safer • You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, You’ve got garlic in your soul. – Dr. Seuss

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Whale Eyes in Dogs — What It Means When the Whites of Your Dog’s Eyes Show

Dogs communicate with very subtle body language cues, using their entire bodies to tell us how they’re feeling. So, when you notice your dog displaying wide, bulging eyes that show the whites of his eyes, you’re noticing whale eyes in dogs.

What Are Whale Eyes in Dogs?

What are whale eyes in dogs? Photography ©Image Source | Photodisc via Getty Images.

One often-missed but very telling body language cue is the whale eye in dogs. When a dog feels frightened or threatened, his eyes widen, exposing the white parts of his eyes (the sclera). It’s not so different from how we humans react to fear: we stiffen and our eyes get real big. When dogs display whale eyes, you may also notice facial tension and a closed mouth. Anyone who sees whale eyes in dogs needs to pay close attention — this dog could bite!

Why Would You See Whale Eyes in Dogs?

Humans will notice the whale eye in dogs if they get frustrated and yell at a dog — or even when training a new task, trick or cue. Whale eyes may even show with something seemingly simple, like grooming or trimming your dog’s nails for the first time.

If you’re rushing the teaching, the dog may easily become confused or fearful. So, if you see the whites of his eyes showing, it’s time to check in with yourself to see what you’ve done to confuse or frighten your dog. Slow down, take a deep breath and start anew. Maybe show him the nail clippers and treat a few times, then just touch his nails with the clippers and treat. The point of doing anything new with a dog, especially a puppy, is to go slowly, paying attention to the dog’s comfort level and adjusting what you’re doing to keep him from becoming stressed or fearful.

Dogs May Give Whale Eyes If a Stranger Hugs Them

Dogs might display whale eyes if they’re uncomfortable in a situation. Photography by Jill Breitner.

One of my biggest concerns is when a child hugs a dog. Most dogs don’t like being hugged, or held too tightly. If they feel like they don’t have a way out, they could bite.

In the image above, you can see that the dog isn’t very happy about being hugged by this child. If this situation were to continue without interruption (such as an adult asking the child to release the dog), the dog may become so uncomfortable and stressed that he feels he has no way out and therefore bite.

Not All Whale Eyes in Dogs Are Bad

Oscar being playful with a toy on his head. This is not a fearful whale eye. This is play. Photography by Jill Breitner.

Not all whale eyes in dogs are equal — and not all whale eyes in dogs are bad. Some dogs are masters at not moving their heads, only their eyes. If you have a dog like this, then you have a clown in your home. I know because I have one.

Oscar, my Labradoodle, loves to keep his head still while looking at me by just moving his eyes. I’m sure I reinforced this behavior because it makes me laugh every time he does it. So, for Oscar, when he shows the whites of his eyes, he’s playing and wanting to engage. I’ve taught him some silly tricks that encourage him to show me the whites of his eyes. For example, placing a soft toy on his head and asking him to wait very still before I release him to throw the toy off his head and catch it mid-air. While he’s waiting for me to say “OK,” he’s shifting his eyes back and forth and up and down, with anticipation while exposing the whites of his eyes. We love this game.

How to Tell the Difference Between Fearful Whale Eyes and Playful Whale Eyes

The dog is hiding with whale eyes, expressing fear. Image from the Dog Decoder smartphone app. Illustration by Lili Chin.

So, how can you tell the difference between a dog who is frightened or a dog who’s playing? Look at all the body parts talking and the context in which it’s happening. Are you playing chase and your dog stops and looks at you without raising his head, showing the whites of his eyes with a tension-free wiggly body, open mouth and almost smiling face? This dog is playful, not frightened.

Here’s another scenario. Let’s say you are upset with your dog because he ate your sandwich that you left in the car while you ran an errand. Now, you are scolding him and the whites of his eyes are showing. This dog is afraid. Remember, punishing a dog for an unwanted behavior will only increase his fear and it won’t stop the behavior. Choose your battles and don’t punish your dog for your mistakes. Teaching dogs what we want them to do instead of punishing them for unwanted behaviors will make for a much more trusting relationship between you and your dog.

Other Ways to Decipher Whale Eyes

Still not sure if the whale eye is playful or fearful? These other body language cues signify that the whale eyes mean your dog is afraid:

Stiff, tense body

Ears out, to the side and back

Closed mouth

Lip licking or tongue flicking

Looking away

Hiding or walking away

Indirect staring or direct staring

What to Do About Whale Eyes in Dogs

If you even think you see whale eyes, err on the side of caution. Stop what you’re doing, assess the situation and proceed to redirect the dog to something else to alleviate the stress.

If the whale eyes are directed toward a child, tell the child to stop what she is doing and remove the dog from the situation until the dog relaxes or play his favorite game to change the dynamic. Then, please check in to see how you can make changes for the future to keep your dog from being stressed, afraid or uncomfortable. When we humans become more proficient at reading dog body language, our relationships and bonds deepen. After all, isn’t this why we share our lives with dogs?

It’s critical to learn how to read dogs, so we can help them when we see that they are stressed, anxious or uncomfortable in any situation. One of my favorite books, Decoding Your Dog by a group of veterinary behaviorists, describes body language and behaviors in great detail. If you want an on-the-spot reference of dog body language, the Dog Decoder smartphone app, used by veterinarians, educators, trainers, and anyone who loves and cares for dogs is available in iTunes and Google play; ready when you need it. Children love it, too!

Thumbnail: Photography ©sadetgr | iStock / Getty Images Plus.

Tell us: Have you ever witnessed whale eye in dogs? In what sort of situation?

Jill Breitner is a professional dog trainer, award-winning writer and dog body language expert, loving and living her life on the west coast, USA. She is the author of Dog Decoder, a smartphone app about dog body language. Jill has been teaching gentle handling/basic husbandry skills to clients and their dogs for 40 years, to be your pet’s advocate for a happier and stress-free life. Join Jill on her Dog Decoder Facebook page.

Read more about training your dog on Dogster.com:

Help! My Dog is Scared of Everything

Teaching Your Dog to Leave It

How Your Dog Can Pass the Canine Good Citizen Test

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