#( *points knife @* i put my whole ass into this one for you mia

[ragesin]

❝ it’ll be all right because we’re together. ❞ ( genshin verse )

► UNPROMPTED

         It's tranquil, peaceful. Grounded senses laid open to the world around him — the slight breezy currents fluttering against his skin, sweeping through his hair and clothes. Rustling of the undergrowth and leaves. The hints of wood, grass, a light graze of floral intermingled with scent of the bubbling creek. The air was almost disgustingly fresh, filled to the brim with a cloying sweetness that should rot teeth. Everything's clear in his mind, from the nighttime sounds of the sleeping forest they resided beside to the waves of ambient energy flowing free all around.

         Soft even breaths, the faint, slowing rate of a single heart beating echoing against eardrums. Hallmarks of a losing fight against the pull to the realm of sleep. It's a wordless melody interrupted by a drowsy yawn fruitlessly half stifled, a hand faltering in its rhythmic movements, confirming the state of his adventuring companion.

         Eyes opened, half hidden between the tanned cheek smooshed into a folded arm and a mess of flaxen bangs, piercing in the low light of the flickering campfire as they blinked up in silent question. A reassuring curve of the lips framed by silver strands, luminescent under the glow of the moon, was given in return to nothing asked. Emerald hues blinked back at cerulean, unmistakably smitten soft. Those dainty fingers of hers resume combing through his wild hair while he's occupied with recovering from the smile ( how something that simple still made hearts skip a beat was beyond him ), scraping his scalp with firm but tender strokes as pleasant shivers danced up and down his spine, and wow. It never ceased to amaze how Elizabeth wielded a knack for that, making nerves buckle under the weighty force of satisfied bliss bearing down on them and forcing tension wound in muscles to dissipate. Subtle warmth enveloped him in a soothing embrace. Safe, not yet like the cresting sun peaking at blistering light. He's a boneless wreck. The tide of lethargy pulled at him with laughable ease with her assistance. Tingling content weighed heavily upon hooded lids, deep set rumble vibrating in his chest. He hoped it would never cease... Hell, as if. Like all good things it did end sooner rather than later.

❝ it’ll be all right because we’re together. ❞

         As her hand slipped from gold locks, that sigh parted her lips as she drifted off with that endearing smile in place, feather light syllables wrapped in her refreshing touch, spaces between heartfelt and overflowing with care so inexplicably Elizabeth. It'd make anyone bearing some semblance of a soul melt at the sincerity packed away the words thoughtlessly, freely given away. It could end the wars if men knew how to look at it.

         A feeling emerged from the yawning emptiness situated in the hollow caverns of his chest. It's like when he was a fledgling, transfixed in odd fascination as fissures crawled along the wall after it weathered a hit, foundation shifting and crumbling, a web of deep cracks scarring the surface. It's the same now. Detached, Meliodas observed as the same happened inside of him.

         She's right. They're together. Hearts ached, jagged and wretched, stiffening relaxed muscles to a paralyzing and stringent degree. That's the problem, isn't it ?

         Illusion of normalcy splintered, fragmented. A heaviness settled into the pit of his stomach. It twisted, writhed like a den of hissing vipers, poison seeping into blood vessels. The horror stared back through the lucent haze of moonlight with invisible unblinking eyes, looming, consuming, cutting through the dark, all gnashing teeth grinding bones.

         ( i love you, it growls sickeningly soft from the depths of his cursed soul. i love you, elizabeth. forever and always )

         It'll be alright — a repeated falsehood without end the demon told himself every time, moment to moment, desperately willing it to be true so that one day perhaps he could lose himself within the lie and believe it. One spoken with such maddening intensity that for a brief window of time even he'd forgot the woes latent and ripe with unseen tragedy entwined between them.

         Her lingering words of comfort served as both the sweetest knife and the most horrific pleasure. Dulled blade sawing through dried blood and digging into worn, perfect flesh; a reminder he / she / they were alive, bound by their precious connection and shackles. An age-old agonizing cathedral of constant wounds, comprised of festering gore that never fully closed, pried open just a little more each time it began to heal. He always let her: tear him apart, break him to pieces, and stitch him back together good as new  ( because that's what she's always been good at, fixing, while his world encompassed little aside from violence, atrocities, and destruction ). They could do this song and dance together for eternity. He deserved it, Meliodas supposed. For selfishly holding on to what's his his HIS with a vice grip until they both bleed out, rivulets dripping from the punctures beneath his nails, a sea of crimson blooming beneath each flourishing step taken. His memories, his promise guided his quest, devotion cruel enough to push his soul to move forward and fulfill it no matter how he stumbled. The man's but a living corpse daring to thread fingers with hers, a corruption burying himself flush against her smooth neck and deliriously intoxicating scent, begging through perforated lungs filled with stagnant air and iron painted lips for it all to end / for more please give him more / for her to love him despite wary suspicion of falsified emotion the curse instilled into her soul each repetition.

         He wanted to tear out his hair until scarlet flowed and let the tears well up. To rage out against the injustices that befall her time and again, doomed the second they met. To scream as hearts squeeze and squeeze so tight he's certain they're going to burst.

         Meliodas remained an image of chilling stillness, curled upon the bed of grass, temple pressed into the crook of an arm with soundless breathing wavering every so often. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, resting like the dead.

         When was the last instance time truly imposed impassable consequences outside of the bounds of a three day grace ?

         It's a simple motion when he finally moved, the moon having crossed some distance in the blanket of stars above. Wordlessly, he reached to hold her sleep-slackened hand. Calloused fingertips pressed, traced, caressed lines crisscrossed along her palm. Some strokes were firm, as though seeking to engrave his memory upon her flesh via mindless shapes. Others ghosted a fleeting imprint of hopeless longing, phantom touches questioning whether he'd ever been present at all. The intimate brushes of skin did not betray the tremors roiling beneath the surface.

         Love. The core of every action. It's love that coaxed his fortified guard to statter to dust and expose his vulnerabilities. Love made him look at her with reverence and fondness in equal strokes despite himself all those years ago. Love's what loosened his sinful tongue to sing her name like a prayer and present himself at her altar, offering flesh while pleading forgiveness. Love allowed the memories and centuries of pain caked onto his skin to be washed away into sweet scintillating oblivion.

         They're together. Who cared if Meliodas already knew what awaited him at the end of their written path, the steep cliff she unfailingly pushed him down with each loss tearing the earth and sky out from underneath his shaky feet ?  It was of no import that whenever he awakened from this sweet dream the cold reality would unerringly slam him with a force thrice harder for his fool damned indulgence and forgetting to brace himself. She couldn't ever be allowed to know this fate.

         Gaze cut to the new presence in their midst, assessing the form standing over him, green clashing against gold. A grin bloomed to life, filled with beaming mirth he couldn't really bring himself to muster inside and stretched across his face from ear to ear. His free hand shifted, index finger raised to his lips, a reticent and wholly unnecessary gesture to keep quiet. The narrowed eye roll from the adeptus was a well deserved one.

         The demon and yaksha made an unlikely duo, a companionship unexpected  ( and close. are they close ?  something in his chest nudges in the direction of the affirmative )  after coming to these lands and yet it's welcomed all the same. He really really liked the guy, harsh and biting as his demeanor may outwardly seem. Weirdly enough, their conflicting personalities meshed better than he initially presumed might ever happen upon their first encounter. In any case, the demon's glad someone else had the strength and capability to protect Elizabeth in areas he may falter.

         Retracting his hand from Elizabeth's, Meliodas languidly propped himself up despite the numbing exhaustion and yawned, using it to make even more of a tangled mess of his hair as he ran it through the mused locks, dislodging accumulated small blades of green. As he did, Xiao took a seat next to Elizabeth on her other side, taking up the mantle of guard duty for the remainder of the night.

         A part of him — a dark wisp curled in a dark corner of his mind — demanded this emptying vessel of his to reach right out and close his hands around that slim, delicate throat. An animosity misplaced but it still screeched, begging to throttle the other man, dig in powerful claws, crush the windpipe and reduce pristine snowy skin to red pulp. This intruder, you invader, it snarled, an ugly blackness, you don't belong. But, the part in control mused, wasn't that Meliodas ?  Is he himself not the foreign entity in this equation ?  The odd piece out not meant to fit into the picture ?  He could see it. Crystal clear in the depth of the ardor pooled in her blue irises when set upon Xiao. The adeptus had known this Elizabeth far longer than he. It burned obvious and bright in the ease with which he slotted himself to her side — like it was where Xiao belonged.

         It's that final thought that spurred his body to stand up, a breathless heave chasing his step and perfectly concealed irritation / affection bittersweet on the tongue. Unsaid exchange passed between the two men, drops slipping through the tenuous cracks of the taciturn lull before Meliodas ignored the dagger of his own design slipped between his ribs that chafed and maimed and turned on his heel, walking off into the dead of night away from the light of his life and the pangs of envious rancor / painstaking relief toward his friend. They'll be fine until morning. He'll return to camp when the sun greeted a new day over the horizon. Elizabeth would not even notice his absence.

         ( wrong. something is wrong wrong wrong. everything is fine. this is right. she can't be elizabeth. she's been alive too long. your elizabeth. not your elizabeth. your hearts sing a lie when you touch. it's the only truth that matters in this damn world )

         It'll be alright. They're together. Whether they wished for it or not.

@triskeleyes

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And You Are Not Here... (Part. III)

(13x04)

Hello my friends! This is another meta from season 13. We are still mourning with Dean...

I'm gonna focus in just one episode, because I have a lot of things to say about this one. Obviously, the majority of the things have been already analyzed by the meta community.

But, let's see what we find...

Move on

Remember how the last episode ended, with Dean blowing out his feelings and pain to his brother, so, this episode starts with Sam trying to talk with his brother about that. And by that I mean: Cas.

SAM: Hey. How you feelin’?

[DEAN is working on his laptop. He looks up at SAM, but doesn’t reply.]

Sam understands now that fact he had always suspect, what really means to Dean losing Castiel. But Dean sees it coming and doesn't answer, because he knows he let his pain and mourn talking by themselves, and now he wants to come back to hide behind his walls. But Sam won't let that goes so easy. Another heated discussion about Jack brings the topic back.

SAM: Dean, we can’t hide him forever. And, you know, just keeping him cooped up here isn’t working.

DEAN: Yeah, it is, actually. You wanna know why? Because as long as he’s here, he’s not out there doing God knows what. So what, does this mean that your plan for bringing Mom back isn’t working? ‘Cause I’ll say it again—Mom’s dead, Sam. Lucifer ripped out her freakin’ heart. Now, the sooner you can wrap your head around that, the sooner we can all move on.

(Gif set credit @demondetoxmanual )

Look at this, Sam takes Dean's words and immediately repeats the ask but with another different meaning, aeaning his brother gets immediately. Sam tilts his head, and his eyes are searching for the answer in Dean's face, because he knows he won't have the answer in words from him.

These exchange of gazes is so so important, because Dean is saying "Are you really asking me if I can move on... From CAS?" Because is obvious Sam was implying that, for Dean, losing Cas was more painful and unbearable than losing Mary. "You want to move on, from mom?"

The pause, the coma, is pointing Sam is referring Castiel, not mom. Is not mom the one you want to move on, right?

Dean's silence is priceless, both men talks without talking, and both know what they're talking about. Of course Dean can't move on from Castiel. And Sam knows it. Because he experienced the same with Jess.

And Dean changing the subject after that is saying HE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT.

Lies and Toxicity

We have a beautiful scene between Jack and Sam, in which Jack snaps all the bad things he heard last night. But Sam explains to him, they need his help to bring Mary back, and Jack can connect again with S through the pain of losing their moms. And he gives the kid a tip to conquer Dean's sympathy.

SAM: (...) Listen, if there’s one thing that Dean respects, it’s effort. So come along. Help us out. Let’s go be the good guys.

So we'll see the kid really giving everything in this mission.

Another quote that caught my attention was Jack saying this:

JACK: I thought lying was wrong.

Just came to my mind episode 14x19, when Jack is sick of so much lies and turn the world into 'just truth's real madness!

And another foreshadow in the same episode we will have Cas coming back, they're talking about this ...

DEAN: (...) why’d she come back from the dead and knife his ass?

JACK: People come back?

SAM: When a person dies and their soul can’t move on…

Talking about this in this specific episode has a meaning: the wife, the woman that man loved coming back from the death, is a reflection of Castiel coming back at the end of this episode. Souls that can't move on, is talking about Dean and Castiel's decease.

Another thing that is pointed in this episode is Sam seeing the bad things of John Winchester in his brother.

Castiel in the Empty

As the preamble to Castiel in the Empty, we had this dialogue here...

JACK: My mother… could she be a ghost?

SAM: No, we, um… we burned the body.

DEAN: That’s right, and what gets burned… stays dead.

Dean is saying this to himself because they burnt Cas' body too, but this scene is cut and we jump into the next one: Castiel walking around the Empty.

Then, again, Dean goes with this quote here...

DEAN: So, aside from getting dead, what do Gloria and Wes have in common?

And the scene cuts to Castiel again, emphasis in loved people that was dead, and now comes back from it.

Another interesting scene is Dean finding Gloria's diary of mourning.

SAM: More of the same. Um, he really was into the whole catharsis thing.

DEAN: Yeah, sure. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, it’s like another word for “happy ending”.

Dean shows here he knows exactly what that is, and how you can feel when you lose the love of your life. The "happy ending" is a reference of a suicidal thoughts as another way out from the pain. And as we will see in the next episode, was a way out Dean was considering for himself. Also, the journal was made by John after Mary died, and was made by this widow, after his wife died. Is important because in the interview with MIA (the ship shifter therapist) she will ask Dean if he has a diary.

Sam talks about catharsis, as an important way to process the pain, and he really tried to make his brother to do that at the beginning of the episode. Failing.

MIA: Mm. Most of the people I see are in the same boat. No warning, no goodbye, no closure.

These words play an important role for Sam, Jack and Dean, in loosing their mothers and loosing Castiel.

They exchanged heated words again in front of Mia, Sam accusing Dean because he is not carrying well with the deaths, and we'll have again an indirect question, with second meaning. Sam will be talking about Castiel again. But then, and just like Dean did at the end of the previous episode, Sam will have his blow out about losing Mary. Is a blatant comparison between Romantic Love (CAS/Dean) and Family Love (Sam/Mary).

Sam leaves, and Mia points at Dean. Dean drinks from his flask. He was doing that and eating a lot, as he always does when he loses Cas.

MIA: (...) You’re angry, Dean.

DEAN: And?

MIA: And if you don’t want to do anything about it, that’s your business. But you’re aiming it at everyone in your life.

Dean will take these words and do something about it, at the end of the episode. But, I want to talk a little about visual Narrative here, because while Mia was talking with Dean, there was a picture behind her, with BLUE/GREEN AND RED COLORS (Destiel).

The scene between CAS talking with the empty that had taken his shape is intertwined with the shape shifter that took Dean's shape. This is very meaningful bc both creatures decided to take the protagonists of this love story shapes.

So, the Empty explains where Castiel is, and also, is baffled by the angel that woke him up. Is the first time someone wakes up in the Empty, and the entity is really mad at it.

But Castiel doesn't know why he woke up, so, he went with the first idea: Maybe the Winchesters did some deal or spell. But they didn't.

The Empty represents all the darkness inside of Castiel: his doubts, his depression, his fears, his weakness. So, the only way to keep him there SLEEPING (as the image of depression) is to point at the lack of faith in coming back, or in feeling himself loved or needed.

The following dialogue shows us how smart is our angel.

CASTIEL: Having me awake causes you pain.

COSMIC ENTITY: If you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. Yeah? And I like sleep. I need sleep.

CASTIEL: Then get rid of me.

COSMIC ENTITY: Oh, should I, should I?

CASTIEL: Send me back to Earth.

Castiel immediately detect the point of it, and tries to give a resolution for both of them.

COSMIC ENTITY: Or I throw you so deep into the Empty that you can’t bother me anymore, hmm?

CASTIEL: Except you know that won’t work, or you would’ve done it already.

COSMIC ENTITY: Pretty smart. Pretty smart, dummy.

CASTIEL: Send… Me… Back.

The first conclusion CAS arrives is by his side. The only way the Empty can get some peace is sending him back to Earth. What Cas doesn't know is, the empty won't come back to sleep, ever again after this.

COSMIC ENTITY: That’s not part of the deal. No, no. Besides, you don’t want to go back.

CASTIEL: Yes, I do. Sam and Dean need me.

COSMIC ENTITY: Oh, save it.

When the Empty says SAVE IT, is because he knows the excuse is making CAS to come back, is not the real one he has in his heart. Oh, save it is not because of that, is because ONE MAN NAMED DEAN WINCHESTER.

Because immediately after this, the Empty mocks him about it...

(Gif set credit @petercapaldi )

Look at Castiel's face when the Empty refers to his feelings as TULIPS, because the tulips represents the perfect lover, passion and romanticism. The tulip is a symbol of sincere love. It is an incredibly romantic flower that when giving it you express infatuation, passion, unconditional love, pure love.

So, the Empty is saying here: save it, you are in love, you want to come back because you are in love.

To the Empty, is very disgusting, aberrant, and it annoys him. He qualifies it as "little feelings"

Because he's trying to erase the hopes in Castiel. So, he shows him he knows everything about him, and if he didn't understand at first with the tulips reference, he makes it clear now I KNOW WHO YOU LOVE.

And seeding again the depression, because he needs CAS sleeping or defeated, he continues...

Unrequited Love. The Empty exposes right in front of Cas' eyes the fear of being unrequited. With this, he is trying to show him WHY WOULD YOU COME BACK IF DEAN DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK? He needs to cut any hopes in the angel.

And after this, he shows CAS l his mistakes, and fears, and regrets, and guilts. All the bad things, all his darkness, to put him back to sleep.

But then, Castiel gets it, he is already saved. And with more energy and hopes inside his heart, he faces the empty again:

CASTIEL You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I’m awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for…ever. For eternity.

COSMIC ENTITY No. No.

CASTIEL Release me. Release… me.

Symbolism again! Castiel asking his own darkness and depression, and regrets to release him in that moment, he release himself from all of that and he returns stronger than never.

Lack of Faith

Back to Dean, Jack and Sam with the shape-shifters we can see another interesting visual element, next to Dean: Sunflower.

The sunflower is the symbol of the Sun and symbolizes love and admiration. But also happiness, vitality, positivity and energy. ... For some religions it is a symbol of the one who permanently seeks God, the divine, since the star king symbolizes God.

This could be linked to what Dean means to Cas, but I think is mostly what Cas means to Dean.

But jumping into the dialogues and the symbolism and parallel of having two Deans as we had two Cas, there's a little clue for a foreshadow...

Look at this, the scene is pretty blatant, we have Buddy, Mia's ex, obssesed with her, jealouse of her life, intertwined with the dialogue between Dean and Jack, showing how important Jack is.

So, Buddy is the Empty, Mia is Castiel. And the most important thing in there, is Jack... These are the ingredients and this is the dialogue...

BUDDY: I never stopped looking for you.

JACK: I can’t.

BUDDY: And when I found this place, when I saw all that…

DEAN: Yes, you can.

BUDDY: …warm, fuzzy good you were doing. I couldn’t let you have that.

Buddy is the Empty saying to Mia, CAS, that he will search for him in a future, and he will see his happiness, one of the most important persons to CAS is JACK, that's why the dialogues are mixed here.

DEAN: Sammy believes in you, and when he believes, he’ll go Hell for leather…

BUDDY:

So I took it all away, and it was fun.

DEAN …but you gotta try.

Again, the Empty mirror talking about taking all away from Mia, Castiel's mirror, and we have Dean talking to Jack. This is the foreshadow of 14x08, when the Empty will come for Jack in Heaven.

MIA You’re… you’re a…

BUDDY: What? A monster? Well, so are you. And it’s about time you embraced that. So I’m not gonna kill those boys. You are. You end them, or you die, courtesy of Tweedledee’s silver bullets. So what’s it gonna be, princess?

MIA: Shoot me. Shoot me!

And now we have Castiel's mirror giving her life in exchange for Dean and Jack. Just like CAS will do with his deal with the Empty in 14x08 and his ultimate Sacrifice in 15x18.

Now, the last scene. Sam is ready to move on from having faith but Dean will take the advice that Mia gave him. But in this attempt of stopping Sam from being like him, he will show again one of his deepest feelings...

(Gif set credit @aborddelimpala)

Dean had lost faith, hopes, because he lost Castiel. And Castiel represented all of that to him.

Sam is worried, and Dean just realized he said it. He had just showed his brother part of his depressive thoughts. And the sadness in his face is all over.

Miscellaneous: The address in Mia's office door was 219, this is a very interesting visual element, is a reference to episode 2x19, "Folsom Prison Blues", in which Sam and Dean were two prisoners, trying to show their innocence. Finally breaking free. As a foreshadow of the emotional prison we will see in Dean's possesion in episode 14x09.

To Conclude:

This episode is full of symbolism and is centered on Castiel and his storyline with the Empty.

The episode shows us too the pain carried by Dean, Jack and Sam in loosing the people they love and how each one of them walks through it in different ways.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV.

Buenos Aires, January 3rd 2021 6:46 PM

[shnuggletea]

Yo, what up? Sorry, I've been MIA, had a LOT going on. Three/four weeks of moving and then Eid with a week-long stay with friends/family. Then I had to get my kid registered for school which was more stressful and ridiculous than the last month combined. Why I had to do a physical for my kid to do virtual school, I'll never know. PS, it's kindergarten so what the hell does she need the physical for? (Gave them shot records too so IDK anymore). Just now getting back into the swing of things. Thank you all for being patient. Here is a nice long chapter for you this evening. I hope you are all doing well and surviving/thriving.

Fanfiction HERE!

AO3 HERE!

Chapter 18

She wasn't surprised in the least to find him on the couch when she left her room at 4 am. Their connection flowed with ease once again.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy but his mind was racing even in his sleep. Stopping for a second, she watched him for a moment, her heart swelling at the sight of him slightly peaceful. But then the memories of the night before cracked it all over again.

Her braid swung heavily on her head as she turned quickly towards the door. "Where do you think you are going."

His voice caused her heart to jump into her throat, making it sore. "Out."

"Usagi…"

"Don't."

"At least let me go with you."

He was right behind her and she swiveled around to block him with her hand. "No!"

Backing off, he sat on the arm of the couch, his arms crossing over his chest. "Did you sleep?"

She balked at him, "Did you?"

His silence was his answer, feeling his exhaustion in him as well. "You should rest. Not run off in the middle of the night."

"It is not the middle of the night, it's morning. And I am heading off to train."

"I thought we talked about this…"

"No, you talked and I listened, so now it is my turn. If you think you can just walk in here and have me bow at your feet, you've got another thing coming."

She held out a finger to point at him, not realizing it had also drawn her into him until he wrapped an arm around her. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"I have been doing JUST FINE without you."

"Usagi, I care about you, that's all."

The knife that he planted in her last night twisted at his words. "You care, huh?"

He was confused, not sure why his words gained that reaction. "Of course, I do, I love you."

She shoved away from him, backing away to the door again. "You should really make sure to finish your sentences, Chiba. You might give someone the wrong impression."

"What are you talking about?" He stood, following after her.

"You mean, 'I love you, Serenity'. See, if you finish it, it has a whole new meaning."

Her back found the door and he caged her in. "You're putting words into my mouth. I mean you. I love you, Usako."

Sticking her arm out, she pushed him away as far as she could. "Stop saying things you don't even understand. You will never know and neither will I; if you love me or Serenity. Endymion has been overruling your feelings from the start."

"I do know and I love you both! The only difference between Mamoru and Endymion is that Mamoru was an idiot! He didn't know love even when it bit him on the ass. Endymion did!"

She looked down at the ground, unable to stand his dark blue eyes on hers anymore, probing her feelings. The lack of sleep was making her weak and her thoughts were a blur.

Her hand dropped, no longer holding him back and he pulled her up from the door and into his arms. He kept his mouth at her ear, talking into the shell of it. "I'm sorry, Usako...I'm so sorry, I should have told you before. Before all of this. From the moment I first saw you, the time you hit me with that awful test score and when you poured your milkshake on me, I have been in love with you. But I didn't because I was a fool and a coward. Now I have to pay for it." His head dropped to her shoulder and she could feel him start to shake with her. "I love you, Usako, more than anything. And so, I will give you the space you want. I will give you as much as I can."

He stepped away, right after planting a kiss to her neck, and released her without another word. He was retreating back to the living room, his back to her, and she watched as it rippled with tension. "There is something I don't understand. How did you awaken? I never wanted you to. I thought I had to want it for it to happen?"

He stopped but didn't turn around. "You didn't, you wanted Endymion to awaken. So I did."

A sad laugh escaped her. "Yeah, I wanted you to wake so I could tell you off!"

He chuckled as well, flopping down to the couch and facing her. "Are you going to go out alone?"

"No… of course not."

On cue, two doors opened, Minako walked out of one and Makoto out of the other. "Oh great, someone else living here?"

"Relax, Makoto. I'm not moving in."

He rose, walking towards her again, but then she realized he was heading for the door. "I'll see you in an hour."

"What happened to giving me space?"

He smirked, standing not very far from her at all. "I said I would give you as much as I could. One hour is all I can give you for now." He leaned in even closer, his face inches from hers. "Besides, if I'm not there, who would you spar with?" Her mind started to wander to some of her previous spars, ones with the boys, and he grabbed her arm at her elbow. "Don't even think about it."

His teeth gritted, he hissed the last bit out to her and she couldn't contain her own smirk in response.

Turning towards the door, he pushed it open, but then stopped and faced her again. "Oh and be careful, dancing like that again. Cause if I catch you, I can't be held responsible for what I do to you."

The memory flashed through her, but this time, from his perspective. Including his… feelings while watching her. She wasn't sure how she felt about his little threat but color rose to her cheeks just the same. He shot her a smirk as he shut the door behind him.

The girls and Usagi waited for a beat before taking off behind him. She didn't want to run into him on their way out. Usagi knew it wouldn't be long until the girls started layering her with questions. But they at least waited till they were halfway to the warehouse.

"So….Mamoru is Endymion huh? That explains a lot."

She glanced over at Makoto, the brunette smirking and wagging her eyebrows at Usagi. Her eyes rolled, "Yeah, it explains why Mamoru ever showed me any interest in the first place."

"What do you mean?"

"Usagi thinks Mamoru is only interested in her because she was Serenity."

Makoto looked past her to Minako, the two of them having the conversation without her. "So?"

"So, she thinks he isn't in love with Usagi, she thinks he is in love with Serenity."

Makoto scrunched up her nose in confusion. "I don't understand. She is Serenity."

Minako just shrugged, "I don't get it either. I mean, I know Kun loves me because he loved Aphrodite. We are the same person."

"But Serenity and I are not the same person!"

They had just made it to the warehouse when it hit, the tightening in her stomach and their communicators going off. They stepped inside just to transform and head off to danger.

The creature didn't seem too bad, it even looked almost human by comparison. Save for the green skin and tiny horns on its head. Its long blue hair flowed down its back and it was yet again in a tight little leotard, leaving very little to the imagination. But it hardly seemed like all seven of them were needed. Eight, if you counted Mamoru who was sure to show up any second now.

The boys stayed back, watching as the three of them took it on. Looked like they agreed with her, they were not all needed for this one.

There were several bodies on the ground around it, the creature already had time to drain people. It was a lot. A lot more than usual. How did it take so long for them to notice? No way it did all of this so quickly, they all got there within seconds of the call.

The only thing she could think of was the creature must have some way of taking multiple energies at once. The fact that it attacked the Juban business district so early in the day was no coincidence either, the place would be full of victims. If it had waited an hour more to attack, it would have close to a hundred victims. As of now, she counted close to 40 and she wasn't sure she could revive all of them.

"Guys, we have to hurry and get those people their energy back!"

Venus and Jupiter gave her a silent nod, fanning out to circle the creature. Even with the other two moving around it, it kept its eyes on her, a sneer forming on its lips.

"Hello, little Moon girl."

It gave her a curious look as if it had been waiting for her. Then it threw its hands up, a silvery net forming out of thin air. It blanketed the air above her, shimmering in the street lamps. At least that explained how it drained so many people so quickly.

It fell over her, the weight of it a bit unexpected, and she could feel it trying to pull on her energy as soon as the netting touched her skin.

Pulling out her moon wand, she set it on the ground before her and extended it. The net was pushed upwards and off her skin, the staff pulling it tight across the sharp crescent on her wand and cutting it. The frayed ends fluttered around her, a small hole around her the reward.

The creature sneered and then out a visceral yell, pulling the net back to it hard. The remaining net swept around her, knocking her feet out from under her. "Watch your feet goddamnit!"

Her head hit the pavement, causing it to spin for a second, Kun's voice coming out a bit warbled. He was right though, that had been a stupid mistake. She could hear the calls of the girls' attacks and the popping and sizzling in the air. Looking back up, she saw the creature dodging and blocking each beam of energy, while its net began to glow a little with each hit. They were just feeding it.

"Venus, Jupiter, wait!"

They froze and the beast turned back to her, sending the same attacks her friends had just shot at it hurtling back at her. She hadn't even made it back to her feet yet, hitting her head harder than she realized. Putting up her arms so they covered her face and squeezed her eyes shut, she hoped her friends' attacks didn't hurt as much as they looked.

Her gravity shifted, the sound of the attacks hitting the pavement instead of her prone body ringing out, and she opened her eyes to black. A flash of red and she looked up, finding a masked Mamoru holding her up and taking her to safety.

"Sorry, I'm late. Had to dig this thing out and dust it off."

She looked him over, the tux he always used to wear now on him again. "You are still wearing that thing?"

He chuckled, "I remember very distinctly, the old Sailor Moon loving this get up."

"Pretty sure she was just in love with the idea of a mystery man swooping in to save her ass."

"And now? That she knows the man behind the mask?"

He set her back on her feet out of harm's way as usual and she shrugged. "Clearly some people love a fantasy."

He raised an eyebrow, telling her he followed her meaning even without reading her mind. "Not me, I love the reality."

Bending down, he gave her a quick peck on the lips before bounding off straight for the creature while she stood, spellbound after him.

She watched as he knelt to the ground, not too far from the creature, and pounded his fist into the ground. It shook and cracked, the girls jumping up and out of the way as the shock wave barreled towards the monster, knocking it back. It rose from the ground, smirking even with the blood on its lips.

"Good, you are here too. My Masters will be pleased!"

"And just who are they? A bunch of cowards who have yet to show themselves!"

It didn't even bother addressing Makoto and her words. It just continued to stare down Mamoru, only breaking to glance back at her from time to time.

In a flash, it threw its net out again, the silvery bands stretching out over Mamoru's head. Regaining herself from her stupor, she raced to his side, not being nearly fast enough. But Mamoru pulled out his cane and swiped the net away, causing it to fall harmlessly next to him. Just as she was about to reach him, he sped away, running right up to the monster and punching it square in the jaw. This time, she knew, the sickening pop was not Mamoru's fist.

A hand to its face, holding onto the afflicted bones, it glared back at Mamoru. But then grinned.

Shimmering, it disappeared. Everyone going wild, turning, and searching. Then the little hairs on her body stood up on end, the creature's breath hitting the back of her neck. Turning, she raised an elbow at the same time, but the creature stopped it, grabbing and holding her arm still. Its claws dipped into her skin, a scream coming from her while the beast laughed. Her brain reeling from the pain, it managed to slip some of her energy from her, her guard down. But soon, she was ripped away from its grasp, Jupiter grabbing her hard and pulling her out. Sending a kick to the monster's chest to push it back even further.

That's when she saw it, the funnel that was dropping down on it at a rapid pace now that she was no longer in the way. It sucked up the creature and she watched as it tumbled and swirled high up in the air. After a few moments, the funnel disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. The creature fell to the ground hard, its body limp.

"Now Sailor Moon!"

She adjusted her wand in her hand, pointing it at the limp body of the beast and charging up. But as soon as her energy began to pool, the creature's head yanked up from the ground, sneering, before shimmering away to nothing.

"Where the hell did it go this time?" Jupiter stood near to her, just behind her ready to jump in if it grabbed her again.

"It's gone."

The boys had moved closer as well but she wasn't sure when they had joined the battle. Venus was eyeing Mamoru carefully. "Are you sure?"

Mamoru nodded and a new voice joined the conversation. "He is right you know!"

Everyone turned, futilely looking for the source. Something told her they would not find it, only knowing it was a man that spoke to them now.

"My Cardigan has successfully returned with all that energy and we are now feasting like kings. Thank you, Sailor Moon, for your contribution!" Mamoru growled but the voice continued, speaking to her specifically. "Good luck, reviving all those people. Sorry to say, those you do not, will surely die."

He cackled and then faded away. But her mind was already on the 40 some odd bodies that laid just across from her now. Men and women, all innocent and just trying to make an honest living. Their suits dirtied and crumpled as they laid on the ground unmoving. Even with the helplessness she felt, knowing she could not save them all, she had to try.

"Sailor Moon, don't."

But she tuned Venus's voice out and Mamoru's as it screamed in her brain. She quickly extended her wand into a staff, the silver crystal materializing within it, and connected to the people on the ground, feeling her silvery energy race across the cold ground and find each and every single one of them. The most people she had healed or restored at once was 20, and it nearly killed her. This was far and away more than her body could handle. But these people didn't deserve this, to die in the cold dark all alone. If they had been faster, gotten here sooner, these people would be fine, it was her fault.

Already, her lungs and heart started to burn, the extent of her energy's depletion painful. It was her body dying. Closing her eyes, she focused, pushing out more energy into the fallen. They each needed more to survive, each one was almost completely empty. She could feel each of their hearts, struggling to beat.

Hands grabbed her, trying to pull her off or away, but she was tethered. Then they stopped, giving up she figured. Then arms wrapped around her, warmth flooding her. She had managed to block him out, to keep his angry words from reaching her so she could focus. But now that he touched her, there was nothing to keep him at bay. But instead of anger, she just felt warm.

His hands grabbed her wrists and she thought for sure he was going to rip them away from her staff. She wasn't sure he could, but if anyone was able to do it, she knew it would be him. Instead, he pulled himself in tight to her, his body wrapping around hers. His chest on her back and his arms laying on top of hers, she felt cocooned in him. Then she felt it. His golden energy leeching into her. It pulsed, heating her from head to toe and mingled with hers. The two danced together, a beautiful and playful waltz. Then it took turns, gold filling some of the victims in the place of her silver.

With his cheek against hers, she finally opened her eyes, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. His focus was straight ahead, watching and assessing those on the ground. Each one's heart started to beat more steadily and together they eased back, pulling the threads of their energy back.

The others raced over to a few of the victims, checking vitals.

"Oh thank God!" Jad stood, satisfied with the person he checked.

"Someone should still call an ambulance." Venus was pulling out her cell from her subspace as she spoke, already dialing the number.

Her staff shrunk and shimmered away, the crystal returning to its place on her chest, in front of her heart. She lowered her arms and Mamoru did the same, but instead of removing himself from her, he wrapped his arms around her. One around her ribs while the other went around her waist, his hand sitting on her hip. And his energy still mixed inside her, his connection to her especially strong.

He rested his head on her shoulder while she stood in his arms, waiting for him to let go. "What happened to giving me space?"

His chuckle shook through her, his head lifting to put his mouth just below her ear. "This is as much space as I can give you. Especially if you are going to try and kill yourself."

Her eyes lowered guiltily to the ground. "I couldn't just let them die. I wasn't trying to kill myself."

He gave her a squeeze. "I know that, and so does the enemy, somehow. They set you up, wanting you to use up all your energy and end your life on your own."

She shook her head at the thought, being used so easily. "Well, they failed. They can't know me that well."

His energy twisted inside her, reminding her it was still there as if she could forget. "That's because they don't know me, or us."

Letting her head drop back to his shoulder, she said one of the hardest things she ever had to. Next to telling her parents goodbye. "You can stop now. The people are saved."

"No...you are not ready yet."

She felt her skin pull on her arm and lifted it to see the holes on her arm close up like magic. Because it was magic, his gentleness making the claw marks a faded memory.

Bringing her arm back down, she rested it on one of his. The material of his Tux was scratchy, compared to his skin, and his gloves contained some of the heat his hands usually put through her.

He chuckled again, bouncing her slightly. With a slight shimmer, he was back in his plain clothes. "Is that better? I never realized how much you hated that tux until now!"

Her hand still rested on the thick coarse material of his coat, but his hands were bare. The heat from them found their way through the material of her fuku without a problem. She was sure that, once he let go, she would freeze to death.

His mouth was at the shell of her ear, whispering even though he didn't need to speak at all for her to hear him. "Maybe you should change back too."

She glanced over at the sound of sirens in the distance, the girls and the boys back in their plain clothes already. If they had looked at the two of them before, they didn't see anything worth concern. Or maybe the boys talked the girls out of interrupting because now they were making their leave before the authorities arrived.

Releasing her transformation, she felt no change in her temperature as her sweats for training and heavy pea coat replaced her tiny fuku. Mamoru's energy still furrowed inside her, the realization of the intimacy they were sharing at this moment hitting her harshly, a blush finding its way to her face.

"Oh now Usako, if you keep having thoughts like that, I'm not going to be able to give you any amount of space."

He slowly began to pull out of her, his energy fighting him a bit, but slinking its way out of her once again. "Mamo.."

Her voice caught in her throat, wanting more than anything to tell him to stop and to stay. "Mamo huh? I like that." She pulled her head off his shoulder, the last of his golden threads leaving her while his arms remained around her. "Now imagine if both of our energies mingled like this. Actually, get your memories back and you won't have to."

She looked down at her hands that rested on his arms. "We did that? Both of us?" He nodded and even though she couldn't see it, she knew it. His grip loosened and she began to pull away from him. "You must miss that, miss her very much."

Her back hit his chest hard as he pulled her back swiftly. "I didn't have it with Serenity, I had it with you!" His frustration was clear in his voice and through their link.

"What?"

"Endymion and Serenity spent their time split between Earth and the Moon. When she was on Earth, her power was dampened significantly. And Endymion was completely powerless on the Moon. No Usagi, this is something only you and I share. And even if it was for a short time, you are right, I do miss it, I miss you!"

Her heart was erratic, pounding all over the place. She wasn't completely sure it was even in her chest at the moment. She struggled to understand, to rationalize his words.

With a heavy sigh, he released her and every fiber of her being mourned the loss. "I guess I need to work on getting you your memories back. Either that or prove to you that we are the same, that you are the same as Serenity."

He stood a short distance from her, watching her shiver as she stared back at him in return. A frown on his face, he turned just as Makoto and Minako slowly made their way over to her.

"I'll see you after school, Usako."

Poor Mamo is working hard! I hope you all enjoyed the update!

[cassiexbailey]

text messages // casek

WHO: Derek Gilbert (@derek-ghoulie) and Cassie Bailey with brief mentions of Jackie St. James (@msjackiestjames​)

NOTES: This is just a general update on where they are in their relationship. Things start out okay, but quickly get rocky, and they do not end well. Some of the stuff they talk about later in the texts will be explained in a para we’re still working on.

 CASSIE: Happy New Year, broody.

DEREK: That’s a stupid nickname

CASSIE: It might be stupid but it fits so well

DEREK: I am not broody

CASSIE: Actual video footage of you. Your broody.

CASSIE: 

CASSIE: Accept it.It’s okay though. What else would I call you if you weren’t Broody? Derek? Yeah no. You’re just Broody. You’re even in my phone that way.

DEREK: I regret buying you Christmas gifts.

CASSIE: Awww why? They were so beautiful. I still have yours, by the way. I just haven’t had a chance to get them to you yet.

DEREK: Does your father know?

CASSIE: Know what?

DEREK: That you bought me a romantic gift DEREK: Because you’re so in love with me you can’t function

CASSIE: What makes you think I bought you a romantic gift? CASSIE: Who’s to say I didn’t get you eyebrow wax?

DEREK: Because if it was eyebrow wax the whole broody thing you enjoy wouldn’t work DEREK: And you didn’t deny being in love with me

CASSIE: Somehow, even without the broody eyebrows, you’d still find a way to be broody. Angel didn’t need bushy brows to be broody af. CASSIE: So? [ DELETED ] CASSIE: What of it? [ DELETED ] CASSIE: I didn’t confirm it either. I ignored it. [ DELETED ] CASSIE: I’m not in love with you. Might be in love with your cock, though.

DEREK: I think you’d miss them. DEREK: Uh huh sure Everyone’s in love with my cock that’s not new

CASSIE: I won’t lie. I probably would. You’d look weird without the broody brows. CASSIE: If that’s what you need to tell yourself to stroke that ego of yours, big guy, you keep telling yourself that then. And that is because your cock is amazing. I’ve said it before, but there aren’t many people who can genuinely follow through on the ‘can’t walk the next day’ promise, and you/your cock can, and that’s one of the many reasons I love your cock. CASSIE: But I don’t know if I’d say it extends beyond that.

DEREK: My ego is well deserved thank you very much.

CASSIE: I never said it wasn’t. Your ego is very well deserved.

[ MANY HOURS LATER ]

DEREK: So if you’re not in love with me, then going through my personal belongings was just foreplay?

CASSIE: Fuck. I knew you’d figure it out eventually. Shit. Fuck me. [ DELETED ]  CASSIE: Not foreplay. Curiosity. I have this thing about locks. And admittedly my curiosity tends to get me in trouble. Often. I do apologize. That being said, I just want to maintain that nothing in that box vibrated so your ‘clue’ was misleading.

DEREK: I seriously doubt any apology you give would be sincere. I hope you enjoyed rummaging through some of my father’s things and the knife I’ll kill your uncle with. DEREK: True but I know you didn’t need a clue to find it. I was curious to see if violating my privacy was more important to you than getting Jackie St. James her ring back.

CASSIE: I don’t apologize if I don’t mean it. CASSIE: And I don’t expect you to understand why I wanted to help her get her ring back.

DEREK: Because you’d be devastated if stolen stole your ring from your MIA fiancé?

CASSIE: In my particular case, yes. It’s one of the few things I actually have left from him. CASSIE: But while we’re going down that lane, in case you’re trying to figure out some sort of payback, I’d be more hurt if someone stole the flag from his funeral and the dog tags I keep with it.

[ A BRIEF PAUSE ]

CASSIE: Actually. I do expect you to understand. CASSIE: Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to family heirlooms that mean something to them. That money cant replace for once. To things that mean more than dollar signs. CASSIE: I don’t give a shit about the rest of the stuff that was stolen. I never asked for that back, and I don’t give a shit what was done with it. But I asked for the ring back. Maybe not directly, but you’re a smart man. You knew I was asking for the ring when I asked you if you might have had it. Or whatever the hell I said. I only ask once in matters like this. CASSIE: Jackie St. James is one of the few members of the UNS who isn’t a complete snob with a stick up their ass and their nose in the air. She doesn’t deserve the shit she was put through, and, despite the fact that I don’t think it was you that did it, I can’t say I have a high opinion of the person who took the ring right off her finger just for the sake of seeing ‘little rich girl’ cry. All for the sake of seeing a little chaos.

DEREK: I’m not gonna piss on a soldiers grave. Bad enough I hump his fiancé regularly. DEREK: You knew what we were about. They took it to sell it. DEREK: I confiscated in and locked it away. I knew you’d come looking for it or else I’d of sold it as well. And I knew if I locked it up you’d still find it. DEREK: I was curious to see though if there was any level of respect for my privacy. Which apparently, there isn’t.

CASSIE: It’s been nearly two years. I’ve accepted the fact that it’s very unlikely he’s coming home. CASSIE: But if you have such a problem with us fucking then it can stop.... [ CONTEMPLATES SENDING IT FOR ABOUT TWO OR THREE MINUTES, THEN DELETES IT ] CASSIE: I don’t give a shit that you guys steal. I’ve stolen things. There was a time I made a life out of it. But there’s a difference between stealing shit that can be replaced and stealing shit that has genuine, personal, sentimental value. Shit that is irreplaceable. CASSIE: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. I’m sorry. You don’t have to worry, it won’t happen again.

DEREK: Am I seriously getting a lecture about sentimentality from the same person who dug through my incredibly private belongings because she “has a thing about locks”?

CASSIE: I didn’t know you had sentimental shit in there! CASSIE: And, for the record, I never would have gone through it if you guys hadn’t stolen the damn ring in the first place! It was only curiosity in the sense that I thought maybe you locked the ring up. I didn’t know your dads shit was in there. I put everything back the way I found it the second I realized what it was. CASSIE: Are you seriously unable to see why I have an issue with you stealing the ring in the first place?? Or at least not returning it when you learned it had sentimental value?

DEREK: First of all, I didn’t fucking steal it. DEREK: And rather than pawn it off, I held onto it. It was supposed to be a fun game but you had to be fucking nosy. DEREK: Secondly, I do see the issue. But guess what, Red? I don’t give a flying fuck. It wasn’t you I hurt but you’re taking it very personally. DEREK: Maybe psychotic personality runs in all the Anderson genes.

CASSIE: Are you fucking kidding me? You’re the one who fucking dropped my father off, unconscious, clothes burnt, body burnt in places from whatever fell on him, ashes and shit on his clothes. Then refused to fucking tell me what the fuck happened! He’s been sleeping all fucking day, barely conscious, and I can’t even take him to the fucking hospital! Fuck you, asshole. [ DELETED ] CASSIE: Not everything in life has to be some sort of fun, stupid, chaotic fucking game! There comes a point in life where you grow the fuck up! [ DELETED ] CASSIE: You haven’t begun to see psychotic, asshole. [ DELETED ] CASSIE: I’m done with this fucking...everything. [ DELETED ] CASSIE: [ MESSAGE READ ]

[theabominableblogger]

Rewatching “Gotham” S3E14

On this blog, we stan one kickass butler.  And how much he loves his boy

As said before, the rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*gasps as a grenade gets thrown into the precinct*

Jesus God!

Ohhhhh my gosh!

*both freak out over the opening titles*

Molotov cocktails- bet you can’t have just one.

Meanwhile Jeremiah’s like “Eh.  Bazooka.”  *chuckles*

You are walking straight into a trap, Oswald.

*Ed walks in*  I bet you’re wondering why I’ve brought you all here today...

Oswald has like freaking umbrella cufflinks, did you notice that?

*chuckles*

“Oh, you [Ed] escaped.”  Nooo....

*jaw drops as Ed shoots Oswald’s men*

*shook*

“Just wondering if I [Ed] was gonna have to reload.”  Jesus God.

“...what’s happening...”  ‘What’s happening?’  He’s been playing you for a sap!

...Like the cheap kazoo you are.

*starts pretending to play “Amazing Grace” on the kazoo*

*claps hands for each word*  JUSTICE FOR ISABELLA, I swear!

*claps hands*  Yes!

“Isabella was my everything, and you [Oswald] took her from me.”  [Ed] YOU MET HER [Isabella] LIKE A DAY AGO!

*laughs*  You met her in like a span of a day!

*claps hands*  She still deserves better!

I know!  I still think she’s a useless character though.

I don’t care!  She deserved better!

“You [Oswald] still have your life.  But that ends tonight!”  *starts singing “Tonight” from “West Side Story” without trying to giggle*

*chuckles*  You weren’t kidding about the random songs.

Seriously, I do it all the time!

Court of Owls!

The only thing I will never find plausible about the Court of Owls is this idea of “Oh, they’ve been ruling over Gotham from the shadows this whole time,” bullshit.

*both do rising spooky hands*

OK though, I don’t know her name, they don’t give her a name, but she’s like the best.  You see her in previous episodes, she’s like the secretary.  Girl, you rule!

 *puts hands together*  Well, I’m gonna give her a name.  Because in the 66 series, Gordon’s secretary is named Bonnie.

Bonnie!  Ooh, I like that name.

You never actually see Bonnie, you just hear her on the intercom.

“Meanwhile, Cobblepot’s MIA.  You call down to City Hall, and literally no one’s in charge.  Although that might actually be good news.”  *both laugh*

*giggles*  They capitalized “dumpster” on the [close captioning on Netflix]

*waves hands in air in imaginary rainbow*  DUMPster!

“He’s [Jerome] not one to miss out on the fun, so what does he want?”  “A puppy?!?”  *laughs*

“[Oswald] You saw a man that I [Ed] met in Indian Hill that does killer impersonations [Clayface].”  *both end up nodding in agreement*

That’s one way to put it.

I mean, yeah...

“GHOSTS AREN’T REAL!”  Pfft!

“But my father’s remains... you stole them from his grave?”  WHAT NAH WHAT?!?

When did that happen?

I don’t know....

“I [Ed] gently placed his [Elijahs’] remains inside a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant.”  Oh that’s just mean!

That’s awfuuulll!

That’s meeeaannn!

“You were angry.  I [Oswald] understand.  I even forgive you.”  I love how Ed’s like “Son of a bitch...” and he adjusts his glasses before he turns back.

“So you [Oswald] admit you killed Isabella?”  “Fine.  Is that what you want?”  “Yes.”  *groans in frustration*

“You [Ed] should thank me [Oswald] because we both know what would have happened if I hadn’t!”  *bug eyes in alarm*

WHAAAATTT?!?

“I [Ed] could have lived a life with the woman I loved!”  *both clap hands and aggressively point fingers at screen in agreement*

See see see see?!?  Yes!  God!  Thank you!

“No, Ed.  You would have killed her!”  *leans back*  NOOOOOOOOO!!!

“Just like you did the other one!”  NOOOOOO!!!

Justice for Kristen Kringle too because I’m still pissed about that.

Yeah, I know, I know!  Yeah, I hated what happened to her.

“I did it for love.”  “What?!?”  What?

“I did it because I love you.”  *laughs in frustration*

“Love is about sacrifice!  It’s about putting someone else’s needs before your own!”  *splays hand towards screen in agreement*

“'Cause the truth is, Oswald, you would sacrifice anyone to save your own neck.”  *silently nods in agreement*

“Even me.”  Uh Ed, you’d do it too.  *laughs*

I was gonna say, how does the guy who literally strangled his last girlfriend to death know more about love than [Oswald]?!?

“Now, if you'll look above us, you will see a cauldron of highly corrosive acid, which is currently being held in place by this chain.  When the ice melts, the chain comes loose, the vat of acid tips... you get the idea.”  This is such a Batman 66 trap.

I was gonna say Professor Ratigan but that works too.

*in unison*  Snap!  Boom!  Twang!  Thunk!  Splat!

I mean, if you look really closely at the 66 Riddler, dude was like freaking Jigsaw.

He wasn’t in a wheelchair though.

*in best Jigsaw voice*  Hello, Oswald.

Suck a dick, Oswald,  Though not his dick- you might get mange.

*buries face in elbow*  OH MY GODDDDDD!!

I’m surprised too.

OH MY GOODDDDDDD!!

“I mentioned that you [Jim] killed my husband on our wedding night,and he [Jerome] thought that was hilarious, so that’s something the two of you can bond over when you find him.”  Lee’s just amazing.

LEEEEEEE!!!

Lee deserves better.

Though later, Lee’s like “Mmm, I’m still like extremely angry about this.  Tetch Virus!”  and I’m like “WHY?!?!?!?”

Tetch Virus AKA Dumb Plot Device.

Dull!

“I’ll’’ [Alfred] nip downstairs and see if there’s any life left in that old generator.”  Does he have like no other- did the Waynes have any other staff besides Alfred?

I don’t know...

I’ve always wondered that.

I don’t know.  They never really bring it up.

“Alfred....”  Don’t do it!

*both freak out when Alfred gets jumped by cult followers*

Ohhhh shit!

*Jerome walks in, pretending to be a ghost*  Pfffttt...

Seriously like, where did he get that outfit?

It’s a straitjacket!  He nicked it out of Arkham, I’m sure.

Or it’s like “Oh I’m sorry, gotta find my old friend Bruce.  Oh SYKE!  Outfit change!”

He’s extra enough to do that.

The Valeska twins are just extra to the core.  They’re from the circus, they’re judgy.

*chuckles*  It comes with the territory.

“Teenagers, am I [Jerome] right?”  You are one!

If I recall, he’s like a couple years older than Bruce.

*shakes head*

I would say he’s about [my sister’s] age.

Ohhh OK.

*The owl statue doesn’t break when Jerome drops it*  It stuck!

*groans in frustration when Jerome ends up breaking the owl statue*

“Right.  Sorry.  The old noodle’s still a little al dente post-thaw.”  *laughs*  Al dente?  Is that a pasta?

Don’t know....  I mean, I imagine, waking up from the dead, your brain would feel a little bit like spaghetti.

AN:  Yeah, al dente describes pasta or rice that’s supposed to firm when you eat it. 

“It’s been nagging at me since I [Jerome] woke up.  The idea of slitting that pretty, pink throat of yours...”  Don’t ever refer to Bruce as pretty pink anything.

*imitates the way Jerome twirls his knife in the air before pointing it at Bruce*

“And you’re [Jerome] just going to kill me here?  That’s kinda disappointing.”  You have got balls of steel, Bruce.

*mouths along with Jerome as he says “Flair?  Hmmm?  Style?  Panache?!?”*

He’s like Alex from “A Clockwork Orange”

“I’m Bruce Wayne.”  “I’m aware.”  *both wheeze in laughter*

“My [Bruce’s] company is the machine that keeps the cogs of Gotham running.”  OH MY GOD, you badass!

“You’re saying I [Jerome] need an audience?”  Took you long enough to get it!

*tries not to laugh when Jerome suddenly dips into a British accent in front of Alfred*

“I [Bruce] will see you [Alfred] again.”  *pats chest*  God, I love their relationship in this shoooow!

That was like straight out of “Arkham Origins,” I swear...

I know....

*Oswald still tries to get out of Ed’s trap*  Couldn’t you just like slide up though?  Just shimmy up?

He can’t go far...

“I happen to be the mayor of Gotham...”  *ends up cracking up at the delivery of that line*

“What did you do?”  *scoffs in hilarity*

*Oswald gets out of the trap just in time*  SHIIIT!!

OH IT ATE STRAIGHT THROUGH THE CAR.

*Jerome’s followers trash the manor in front of Alfred*  Damn!

“And how ‘bout you, Mr. Machete?  Come on in, sunshine. Don’t be shy. Your mother wasn’t. Chop-chop.”  *BOTH JAWS DROP IN SHOCK*

*ends up wheezing*

DAAAAAMMMNNNN!!

GOOOO ALFRED!!!

YEESSSSSS!!!

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU [Jim] COME FROM?!?

He snuck in!  That’s why Alfred was saying all that stuff.  He was letting Jim know where everybody was.

Ohhhhhhh.... OK.

*on verge of losing voice*  HE [Alfred] JUST STABBED HIM [the follower] WITH A MACHETE!

HOLY SHIT!

*reels back*  OH ALFRED, YOU BADASS!

Holy shit!

OH MY GOD!

That was awesome!

Oh my God!

*Bruce arrives at the cult circus*  Amusement Mile... I swear this is Amusement Mile..

I think so.  It’s one of the few permanent landmarks Gotham has across incarnations.

*ends up wincing at half of the games the cult plays*

This is like a mix between “The Purge” and “Hell Fest”

Oh God.

That’s literally what this is.

“What do you say, Bruce?  Wanna have some fun before the main event?”  That’s a cool shot [of Jerome].

Hooo hooo...

*dives across room to put on hat for rest of episode*

Alfred’s like “I don’t care, I’m not police, I’m goin’ in!”

Oh my God...

Yess!  Like the badass you are, Alfred!

*winces when Jerome stabs a follower beside him*

*both groan in horror when Jerome uses the blood to paint a frown on Bruce’s face*

*freezes when Tabitha snags her whip around Oswald’s neck*

Oh shit!

“Now, where’s Nygma?”  “I [Oswald] don’t know.”  If he’d knew, he’d murder his ass.

“[Butch] Stop pretending that you are anything but muscle!  Yes, you used to be someone in Gotham, but those days are in the past!”  You stop pretending that you have any pull in this situation, Oswald.  You’re the one who has a whip around your neck!

“Remember when I [Tabitha] put a knife in your mom’s back?”  Oh yeah, she’s the one that killed the mom.  And it SUCKED!

“You [Oswald] never did anything about it.”  *cups hands with mouth*  S4 finale!

*proceeds to smack laptop with hat*

*bug eyes when Butch knocks out Oswald*

“You [Butch] realize you have to carry him now.”  *both chuckle*

C’mon, he weighs like 120 pounds tops.

Soaking wet.

“A few dozen brainwashed maniacs can’t keep the city hostage forever.”  “Well, duh...”  Pffttt...

“The point is that all these people out here, looting, robbing, killing, they're the people who wash your car, who pour your coffee, who take out your trash.  And what happened the moment the lights went out?  They showed their true faces.  They showed how quickly they want to open up your rich boy veins and bathe in your blue blood.”  *very softly*  Oooh, that’s a good line.

“There are good people in Gotham.”  This is the Killing Joke.  ‘All it takes is one bad day.’

“Face it, kid:  Gotham has no heroes.”  Yeah, but the people who crawl under their beds and lock their doors are the ones that are biding their time.

*Bruce pushes Jerome so that he messes up his shot*  Ooohhh!

“Foul!  He pushed me!  Did you see that?!?”  Genesis of Batman and Joker’s relationship:  a shove!

*softly*  Jesus Christ....

*The “punk” ends up being dropped anyway*  Oh my God...

*both yell in disgust when Jerome has to re-staple part of his face*

“Did that hurt?”  *z-snaps in shock*

*Jerome puts a staple in Bruce’s arm*  Did he [Bruce] just No-Sell-

Ohhh!  Ohhh!  YES!  YES HE DID!  Yes he did!

*both yell when Jerome does it again*

Aaahhh!  Aahh, that was on the wrist too!

“Stop!”  He took two!  He took two of those!

Over the wrist too!  God, that’s a major vein!

Did you see Jerome there?!?  He’s like “Well, wait a minute...”

*imitates the dramatic way Jerome puts his hat back on*

“Where the hell is our back up?”  Still two minutes out.”  Alfred is your back up!

*chuckles*  All you need is Alfred!

“All right, so we [Jim, Harvey, and Alfred] go in, find Bruce, get him to safety, then we go after Jerome.  Ready?”  “Not really.”  *chuckles*

*Jerome comes out in his ringmaster costume* AAAAHHHH THE SUIT!!

Oh, that’s so cool.

YESS!!

*Jerome slaps his butt*  Did he-

Yes he did.

“The show is about toooo...begin!”  He [Jerome] was doing a Mark Hamill voice there for a second!

I know!  He does the Mark Hamill laugh sometimes.

Ohhh that’s badass!

Yeah.

*both try to laugh at the stock crowd gasp when Jerome shoots a rowdy audience member*

Y’know what, he [Jerome] would be the guy that would carry around canned sound effects like that.

“So, how to thank the best darn cult of fanatics a messiah like myself [Jerome] could ask for?”  *chuckles*  Oh my God...

“I give you-”  *does small verbal keyboard smash when the ta-da fanfare stock sound goes off*

“QUEUE!”  *laughs*

*Bruce gets carted out*  Oh my God.

*mouths along with Jerome saying “Or better yet.... a boom?,” dramatic hand gesture included*

*The cannon gets rolled out*  They’re gonna shoot his ass out of a cannon?!?

*laughs*  Yeah, like Jerome’s gonna fly out of a cannon!

NO, Y’KNOW WHAT?!?  I would pay good money to see that though!

*legitimately trying not to cry laughing*  I can just see Cameron Monaghan going *makes flying sound effect*

No, like they’re gonna bada bing bada boom [shoot Bruce with the cannon]

Oh OK.

*laughs*

OK, y’know what, I would have bought it either way!

*keels over laughing*  I’m just imagining Cameron Monaghan.... WHHHEEEEEUUUU!!!

AN:  Please God someone draw this, I’m begging you.

“NAILED IT” AS HE [Jerome] POURS IN NAILS!

*both yell in horror at Jerome pouring various kitchen knifes into the cannon*

“Whatever you do, please, definitely try this at home.  Preferably on a family member.”  *wheezes*

“WHOOO!  DOGGIE!”  Somebody saw “Dr. Strangelove.”

Cameron’s like “Yes, I’m getting PAID!”

“Ready, partner?”  *hits desk with hat*

*Alfred starts beating up cult members*  Go Alfred!

Go Alfred!

*mutters*  You magnificent boss, you...

*both laugh when Jerome’s hat gets shot off*

*Jerome sets off the cannon fuse*  Oooooooooohhhhhhh!!

*yells*

*Bruce starts to pick the handcuffs off*  C’mon, Bruuuuuuucceee.... c’mon, Bruuuuucccceee...

C’mon, last handcuff.  You got this.

*Bruce loses one of the staples*  Oooohhhhhhh!!!

Knock the thing [the stand that Bruce is on] over!  Knock the thing over!  Knock it over so at least you’re out of range!

Well he has one more [staple] though in his wrist.  Or does he?  Yeah, he has one more!

*in unison*  C’mon, c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon!

*jaws drop when Jim and Alfred discover the remnants of the staff that Bruce barely escaped from*

HOLY CRAP!

He broke it?!?

I guess...

Oh no, we gotta back to this [Ed and Oswald drama]!  *hits leg with hat*  Nooooo!!

“I [Oswald] I underestimated you, Barbara.”  *sarcastically*  NAAAHHH, really?!?

I hate that dress [the striped one Barbara wears].  I hate that dress so much.

Holy crap,  ooooohhhh... that’s from Tabitha’s whip [the mark on Oswald’s neck]!

Ooooohhhh... euugghhh...

“So I [Oswald] help you [Barbara] find Ed... things go better for me... I don’t know, you kill me?  That about it?”  That’s just about the sound of it.

“Yeah.”  Yeah.

*Bruce runs into the Mirror Maze*  Oohhhhhhhhh...

Oooohhhhh here we go.

“Bruce, darling.”  *points excitedly at screen*

This is the scene!

This is the one “Dark Knight Returns” homage I will ever accept.

*Jerome in front of the mirrors*  OH MY GOOOOSSSHHH!  Look at that!

That’s awesome.

That is amazing!

That is the coolest damn thing.

Ooooooooooooohhhhh!!

*Bruce comes into the frame*  Whooooo hoo hooo hooooo!!

*shocked*  Oh shit!

“You’re [Jerome] going to pay for what you’ve done.”  *snaps fingers excitedly*

Daaamn, son!

“What’s going on?  [Oswald] You have a weird look on your face.   Like, weirder than normal.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“Oswald, you loved him, and he [Ed] betrayed you.”  Kill him!  Kill the love you feel!  Prove that death is stronger than love!  And you can have your own life again!

Yes, I quoted “Once on This Island,“ what of it?

“But I killed Isabella... because I wouldn’t share him.”  Yeah, no shit, eh?

“Ed said love is sacrifice.”  *buries face in hat*

“I shoudl have been able to sacrifice my happiness for his.”  It took you this long?!?

*both shook when Ed walks in*

[Oswald] You are so dead now...

“You’re [Ed and Barbara] in this together.”  Yeah, no shit, eh?

“I [Ed] wanted you [Oswald] to die knowing that you were incapable of loving another person.”  “But I can.  I just proved that, right?!?”  No, you didn’t.

You notice that Bruce is like right beside him [Jerome]!

Yep.

“Let’s do this mano y mano.... my little conquistador [Bruce].”  Ahhhhh, don’t call him that.

*gasps when Bruce tackles Jerome from behind*

Shit!

“What kind of hero tackles someone from behind?!?”  *chuckles in shock*

*gasps when Bruce beats Jerome to the ground and starts the beatdown*

Keep going!

*Bruce picks up a piece of glass to stab Jerome with*  Oh shit!

*both too much in the moment to say anything when Bruce decides not to kill Jerome*

*out of breath*  Go Alfred...

C’mon, Alfred!

*both raise our hands and cheer when Bruce runs to hug Alfred*

*Jerome stumbles out toward Bruce and Alfred*  OoOOhhhhh!!  Ohhhh boy...

Take his ass out!  He’s not gonna last much longer!

*yells in shock when Jim runs up and punches Jerome*

*both yell and reel back in horror/disgust when Jerome’s face gets punched off*

*trying not to laugh*  His face is back off!

His face...

*in unison, with fancy hand gesture*  Off!

*giggles*  Had to lighten the mood somehow.

HE [Jim] JUST PUNCHED A DUDE’S FACE OFF!

*laughs*  How often can you literally say that?

I KNOW!

“[Harvey] You wish I [Jim] would’ve shot him [Jerome]?”  “Eh, he’d probably just come back from the dead again.”  “Probably.”  *both stifle a laugh*

“At least you [Jim] get to say you punched a man’s face off.”  Exactly!

EEeeyyyyyyyy!

*grumbles and hits desk with hat*  But Jeremiah dies in the next season.

Jeremiah?

*keels over*  SON OF A-

*evil laugh*

There’s twins!  Shut up!

“Well, got to say the clown makeup was way more terrifying than the damage underneath, Master Bruce.”  Pfft.

“Did I [Alfred] ever tell you that I don’t like clowns?”  *bug eyes in horror*

*whispers*  You’re not gonna like Jeremiah then.

He’s less clownish than [Jerome]

True.

I love this orange lighting

“Shall I [Alfred] tell you [Bruce] what I thought?  I thought how proud I was of you.”  *puts hands to chest*

“Of the man you’ve become.”  *smiles*

“I almost killed him, Alfred.”  But you didn’t.

“But if you [Bruce] keep going, you’re gonna need rules.”  Vengeance blackens the soul, Master Bruce.  You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven’t fallen over, and I thank heaven for that.

*softly*  This is that scene!

“I will not kill.”  *both raise our hands in anticipation*

SAY IT!

“Say it again.”  Say it, c’mon...

C’mon!

“I will not kill.”  *both clap hands toward screen*

YAAAASSSSS!!

My sweet badass bab!

*in dramatic Batman voice*  Sad Boy... is now... Vengeful Boy!

*laughs*

*about falls out of chair reeling back*  OH SNAP THE CLONE!

*bug eyes*

*throws hat at screen*

“I [Five] still don’t understand how I can help save Gotham.”  His voice is different!

Yeah.

That’s the doppleganger theme!

Oh shit, son!

OOOOO-OOOOHHHH!!

*Someone knocks on Jim’s door.”  Have a drink first.  No wait, you’re gonna need that.

*softly*  God damn, this freaking pier...

“Ed...I love you.”  *both so done*

“I... don’t... love you.”  *snaps fingers in agreement*

“You need me, Edward Nygma!”  No he doesn’t!

“When I [Oswald] met you [Ed], you were a nervous, jittery, loser!”  :[

“I created Edward Nygma!”  You’re full of shit

AN:  Oswald kinda has a point though.  Just sayin’...

You see him [Oswald] spitting up foam?!?

“You can’t do this...”  Yes he damn well can.

“Ed, are you listening to me?”  “...I’m listening...“  NO!  Don’t listen to him!

*both raise our eyebrows in shock when Ed shoots Oswald*

*laughs*  AND WE NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!

Push him in!  Push him in!

*Ed pushes Oswald into the river*  YEEEEEEESSSS...

*sings*  IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GOOOO-OOOO-OOOOO!!

*slow jams to Penguin’s theme playing as Oswald sinks to the bottom*

Go to hell, Oswald.  I know he lives but let me have this.

*jams the crap out to the ending theme*

[callmetippytumbles]

Thoughts on THOTs, TRR Book 3, Chapter 3: Sometimes Petty Ain’t Enuff

This week’s THOTs were king of a drag to get through. I can’t put my finger on why.  Maybe I want to focus more energy on my fanfics.  Maybe I was not given enough opportunities for petty as I required when being asked to deal with A Demon.  Maybe I was feeling pretty meh about this chapter as a whole.  Lord knows.  I have been like:

Issa mood and a lifestyle.  When it comes to this chapter.

You guys deserve better than this.  I thought I was better than this.  I am not. Bullshit and lies.

So the chapter opens in the boutique with Maxwell and Bertrand.  Look at how far we have fallen.  Last week I was being greeted by my love, and this week I have to be stank with Bertie and Ernie Maxwell.  Halle, per the usual, stays asking the real ass questions:

When DO I get to see my duchy and why aren’t we going over therre?

I don’t want this.  I would like a Plan B.  Halle continues to press the pertinent questions.  

It’s like she does not want to have to grovel in front of this raggedy heifer who stepped to her crazy at her own party.  For the why Bertrand? Why are you trying to make it seem as if I can’t get ANYONE else?

That doesn’t cover the Demon piece, Bertrand. We could get someone else.  Like Kiara.  Kiara would be dope.  She is excellent in court, has connections to the press, is driven, can speak multiple languages.  Plus Kiara is so skilled A Demon made Kiara her second in command.  Why not her? Oh PB made sure she got knifed up during the Homecoming Ball so that I have to let Bertrand continue with this bullshit.

Well, I can give you guys that.  Remember how that Demon spun intentional psychological fuckery and downgraded that to hazing with no comeuppance?

Again, Halle keeps asking the real questions:

Yeah, the bitch likes green and black, but that does not answer the question I put before you.  Why would IT help us?  Maxwell and Bertrand don’t want to think about that question.  They want to dress you up to appeal to Slytherin them peoples in Fydelia and Champagne Mami.

Da alphet o da wheek!

So not only is Halle going to have to grovel to a motherfucking Demon to offer it a job IT does not motherfucking need like it’s the only motherfucking person who can help us.  Halle has to do all of that in Cordonian Fashion Nova thotwear.

Do we really have to do this? If not A Demon we can get someone else.  Liam has like a whole fugging team of press people.  Why can’t I get one of them? Or a recommendation from one of them to get someone like one of them.  I would rather have Chance the Rapper Berry be my press secretary.

Also, I do not think that Fashion Nova thotwear is going to get a Demon to be like “Yeah, let me get a job working for the THOT that stole my man and crown.” Halle agrees.

She is smiling though because while the dress isn’t winning A Demon over, she still likes thotwear and that will win Liam over.  I will take the teensiest morsel that I can get.

Before I can show off my teeny tiny dress to My King, Bertrand, continues to heap on the shit.  I have other goals besides intentionally failing to convince a Demon that IT needs a job so that we can get a Plan B.  We have to persuade Champ Mami to come to our wedding and bring her mans as well.  Halle:

PB:

Halle is also confused as to why we are seeing this man for the first time today.  She also is like “hus-WHOM?”

Adelaide acts like she doesn’t have a husband because she doesn’t.  She has an arrangement with a sponsor.  Sponsors are not there to give things like love, emotional support, vitamin D.  Those things are outsourced since Champ Mami will not go without.  Especially her vitamin D.  She needs it to live and thrive.  It makes sense to me that she doesn’t like this dude.  Halle still has to care if this stingy dude sits in the pews while she marries her king.

Bertrand also makes a point to say that Champagne Mami and her sponsor are on the outs. Me:

Bertrand suggests talking to them separately and learning information to benefit this whack ass cause.  Halle is like:

Bertrand:

Me:

So not only do I have to beg this Demon to take a job IT does not need, do it while wearing Slytherin’s Fashion Nova collab, I also have to be Iyanla to these rich people?

After the boutique, we finally are on our way to the depths of Hades Champagne’s Mami’s house.

Just before we brace ourselves for the bullshit, Halle has the first of her few interactions with Liam. Liam:

Me:

I mean I would have a lot on my mind. I have to brown nose to a beast… Halle though is better than me because instead of like taking a moment to get steeped in feelings and butthurt is trying to get information on Godfrey.  Really, PB? They can’t even be nice and give me this Godfrey:

Much rather be talking to him than some bitter-ass Brit who doesn’t give a fuck about his wife, or her home.  FML. Anyway, Liam does not have much to offer on The Sponsor other than he married Champagne Mami for political reasons and likes titles and shits on fun.  Basically the opposite of the Champagne Champion who loves fun and mess.  I can understand why the dick and the other components of a life partner are outsourced.  

While Halle is attempting to get in the spirit, she isn’t entirely above a dig.

The dig does not make this any easier though. Liam:

Because you will be by my side right? Liam:

BULLSHIT BALL TIME!

It is not even a second into this, and Regina is dragging Champagne Mami.

Champagne Mami isn’t a punk and can serve some back.  

Not too much because she knows her cousin is the queen, but enough. Damn Schumrda Qween is a savage.  If I didn’t like Champagne Mami so much, I would salute her.  I am already torn.

When I was talking to @lizzybeth1986, she pointed out Champ Mami is doing Regina a favor by hosting this party.  That is a substantial point.  Right now, the nobility is not fucking with the royal family because they do not want to get the Drake/Bastien/Justin/Kiara treatment.  Adelaide not only agrees to host the King, her petty ass cousin Regina, who still take shots at her despite already being queen and basically winning, the royal staff, the man who rejected your child because he was done and the woman who he rejected your child for AND her friends. That is a lot to ask Gina.  Then after Adelaide does all of this shit, no one shows up and Regina is still making an effort to ROAST her.  I feel for Adelaide.  I really do.

Next to Champ Mami is this stiff AF dude.  That is her sponsor husband, Godfrey most definitely not Gao.  I can feel the stick up his ass from here.

Maxwell is like magic friendship dust will fix this.  I am like:

Halle is desperate, so she buys in I guess.  I mean, this is a high ass first hurdle.  Halle will take whatever.  She then goes to A Demon to get laughed at so that she can fail and Bertrand will have to let a Plan B happen. Demon:

Well, at least Halle is a duchess, Countess of Hades Fydelia.  Halle is kind enough not to point this out. I feel otherwise:

There was a petty option, I took a petty option.  I have no desire to be a better person.  Not like it will matter anyway. A Demon does not even take the bait. Why not just twist the knife deeper PB?  A Demon is over this shit too:

Halle needs to quickly fail this fuckass mission, so she asks A Demon if it wants a job.  As predicted A Demon is like:

Me:

Halle, just to say that she really tried:

Demon:

Me:

OHWELLITRIED!

Halle:

Also Halle:

After Halle’s deliberate failure, she looks to her friends and fiance for comfort and support.  It’s a difficult time for her.  Her fiance is MIA.  Well, Liam just wants to sleep alone.  Hana does point out that Liam is trying to talk to the other nobles who did risk their lives to be seen rockin’ with the royal family tonight.  Halle:

I kind of picture this event for Halle being pretty eye-opening regarding getting a taste of what actually working with Liam is like.  There may be times where she would prefer him to be by her side, and she would look, and he isn’t there.  This wouldn’t bother Liam so much because he is used to this.  He grew up in this life, so this isn’t an issue for him.  Halle didn’t. Also, she is beyond new to her.  Liam could have been a little more invested in being present for Halle during a difficult task.  I know Halle technically asked to do this solo, but he should have known better than to take her at her word for something like this.  Maybe checked in.  Now Halle has to kick you out of bed and make herself horny and mad.  Great job husbando!  Additionally, it would have been nice to see what Liam was doing behind the scenes while Halle had to eat crow.  

Anyway, at least Halle’s friends are on her side. Maxwell and Hana:

Me:

Halle:

Drake is unimpressed by A Demon’s party.  Why he should be? It’s a buffet.  I expected better from your peeples Satan.  He is unimpressed by most parties that have fancy food and booze that isn’t whiskey.  At least his simple tastes ensure his loyalty to Halle.  

Nope. Spoke too soon.  Drake is all about that pasta because its man food and hesa man and rah!  Halle still eats the food because she obviously did not read the Count of Monte Cristo.  If Halle did, she would know that skipping the food would be an insult to communicate that she does not fuck with that demon over there.  Take a page from Schmurda Qween or even Olivia.  Halle though is not above free food so she too sells herself out.

Because this party is not shitty enough, who else but Neville to take things from worse to worser.  At least it is just Neville.  Drake runs into him with a plate of pasta.  Neville ignores Drake at first and focuses on Halle. Neville presents it as congratulations, it becomes super obvious that it actually a vehicle for a barrage of backhanded compliments. Halle is like:

Drake on the other hand:

Drake will jump in front of a bullet for you, cuss someone out if they call you out your name, but his ride or die stops at pasta.  I can take that.  Neville did not like that Drake, a commoner, had the nerve to buck to him crazy.  He is big mad.  So he starts talking down to Drake.  The whole tirade is trash, but then Neville goes too far:

Me:

Drake is about to go full “Knuck if You Buck” on this dude, but Halle pulls him back. Like any other dude with too much privilege and not enough punches to the face, he still continues to try it.

I am like:

This party is shit anyway.  Let it come to violence!  This fuckboy deserves.  Hana intervenes and knows how to end things quickly and nonviolently.  Apparently, Neville not only is absolutely ain’t shit, but he is also a freeloader:

So you don’t want to support me, Our King, but you are just coming on this tour to find a bedwarmer? If you don’t… Hana who is too good for this world suggests trying to invite this bastard to freeload at my wedding as well as the Unity/Begging Tour.

Drake has had enough and excuses himself.  Halle being done and it’s been a while since PB has held their hand out for diamonds follows him.  Of course, there is a diamond scene with Drake, for 20 diamonds, you can teach him how to dance.  Drake wants to learn because since he cannot go full Hulk on Neville and send him to his maker, he figures getting 3 10’s on Dancing With the Stars is a good way to get back at Neville.  If you are petty like me, the Drake roasting begins now.  If you are not petty, the roasting is later.  Halle is petty, and she has some moments.  

Drake:

Halle:

Now that Halle is done, she teaches Drake some moves.  If you are romancing Drake, this scene is much more romantic.  For those of us that aren’t its symbolizes that our messy, hoeing days are done.  Pour one out for our messy heaux pasts and 30 diamond scenes I will never forget.  That thigh grab move is EVERYTHING.

Drake wants to try dancing because he wants to step up for Liam (he wants to step up for you if he is romancing you) and be seen as more than Liam’s Professional Best Friend.  Halle teaches Drake the Cordonian Waltz.  I am like “Drake is not ready for that, start easy with the Lean Back and work your way up.”  This echoes a little to when Hana taught Halle, but I found it more echoing back to when Halle dances with Drake during the Coronation Ball.  During that dance, Halle does all of the work and Drake kind of just stands there and doesn’t engage with the dancing.  His being willing to do that much is him trying.  This time Drake makes a point to actually learn the steps and be an active participant as opposed be reluctantly present.  Halle points out that his active participation is essential:

There is a moment where Drake and Halle are holding each other close.  It could have been very messy and full of tension, but since I am not romancing Drake and TRR heaux season is over it isn’t.

Back at the Bullshit Ball, Bertrand is looking for us.  I have made no headway with convincing A Demon that the best way to bounce back from being a two-time loser for the crown is to get a job working for the woman who is responsible for defeat #2.  Bertrand is not trying to discuss Plan B.  Me:

Apparently, it’s time to talk to Champagne Mami and Her Sponsor. Regina is talking to Adelaide and Liam is talking to Godfrey not Gao.  Me and Halle are very whatever about it, but I guess we must try.  I start off easy because a wedding is basically a party and Champagne Mami loves parties.  Also, this victory could set up the momentum for another victory.  This is a slam dunk, right?

Regina and Adelaide are busy going in.  They were ready to be like:

Halle interrupts that tense conversation to invite Champagne Mami to the wedding. Champagne Mami:

Halle, you fucked up girl.  Don’t lead with the wedding, lead with the party.  Anyway, Champagne Mami can’t always prioritize drinking top-shelf liquor for free and seeking new dick.  Sometimes you do have to care about things like your fucked up rich family problems.  Champ feels a way that her baby isn’t even trying to let Champ comfort IT with booze, rom-coms and crass talk about men.  Me:

I would love to do ALL of those things with you! Why can’t you be my mom?  Also, of course, A Demon does not appreciate those things.  Those are good, fun things. A Demon cannot understand good and fun things because light and darkness do not mix.

Adelaide wants to be a mother and be there for her child. She wants her child to put herself first for a change. A Demon has been doing that.  How much champagne have you been drinking?  She also wants her child to open up to some people.

Leave my friends out of this.  I am sure A Demon could summon up some similarly demonic buddies using a pentagram or whatever.

After that Champ Mami shoves us away to enjoy this terrible party.  Now we have to talk to The Sponsor.  He is right now talking to my MIA fiance.  Liam:

Once Liam makes his quick exit, Halle is left to speak to this stick in the mud, who doesn’t like her with no support.  Halle is off to a great start by messing up his title, the one thing he cares about.  The Sponsor does not let up.  He starts out the way A Demon starts out in Chapter 19.  

A Demon is definitely its father’s child.

At least he likes your Slytherin Fashion Nova thotwear.

Then he wants to call you out your name, but this is the one time where the petty comes in handy.  When you remind him of your title:

Birdman:

With that win, Halle presses on.  She invites him to the wedding, but Godfrey not Gao is like:

Halle:

Well, all three of those are excellent reasons for this man not to attend your wedding, Halle.  You stole things from his child, he does not give a single fuck about Cordonia, and he is afraid of his in-name-only wife.  I focus on the big one, you know, that Halle straight disrespected his child.  

His beef with you immediately spills into his beef with his wife.

Me @ “daughter’s defeat”:

He leaves, and goodness can enter our lives again in the form of Hana.  Before we can call it a night, Neville decides to ask an uninterested Demon to dance with him.  Drake is like:

So a ballroom dance battle begins.  Since this battle is being instigated by men, things escalate quickly.  Neville is outchea doing dramatic dips.  Drake is not going to let some bitch wearing Roger Moore’s ugly suit show him up.  Nevermind the fact that like 20 taps ago we just taught him how to do more than the running man, which was still a little complicated for him.  Doesn’t matter, Drake wants to end this.  Halle knows what to do: a lift.

Um, Halle, this is not Dirty Dancing.  Baby and Johnny fucked the lift a whole bunch of times before the end of the movie.  DRAKE’S SHOULDER IS ALL FUCKED UP BECAUSE OF THAT TIME HE TOOK A BULLET FOR YOU!  PB is gonna have that arm just fall off out of nowhere.  Drake is unsure, but Halle is doing it.  Since you know, plot, they pull it off.  

This leaves Neville pissed.  How dare someone who wears denim tuxedos and has no respect for plaid make him look bad!  He can cry in a corner about his inadequacy later.  

Luckily, Hana suggests that we can get A Demon talking about getting her drunk.  Look at Hana and these excellent ideas.  I would much sooner use her intellect to cook up a Plan B that does not involve asking A Demon to work, but PB is insisting on this.  You can choose any of your friends to invite her to play.  I tried Drake thinking IT would refuse, but IT will say yes to whomever.  A Demon would rather drink with us as opposed to drinking alone.

Because PB does not have enough of our money, they make a point to demand some now.  Halle:

There is a book?

Anyway, the drinking game is Cordonia’s Best, where you create superlatives and then nominate the people you are playing with to get them.  The winner has to drink.  

A Demon still mad stays hatin’, starts with Halle.  

However, this quickly becomes a Drake roast.  Hana delivers a masterful read:

Me:

Drake tries to go in on me:

I see how it is, I teach your simple-ass how to dance, and this is how you repay me.  I see how it is.  Halle continues to shade Drake for the rest of the night. 

Maxwell agrees.

Drake:

Like?

A Demon finished her drink and Maxwell, and Drake grabs more booze. Leaving Hana and Halle alone with A Demon.  Halle who is better than me attempts empathy.  It does not know empathy.  So IT can know compassion as long as you dampen the evil with booze.

I almost felt for IT.  I can understand what it is like to Tracy Flick level of ambition and lose.  However, I cannot get past that time you said you wanted to psychologically break my best friend for fun:

So:

A Demon is like:

Then:

How can you read that and still not feel bad for A Demon?  

I can understand what IT is going through and at the same time would like for it to fuck itself now and for the rest.  PB wants to force this redemption narrative like my feelings do not matter. Demon:

Welp! I tried.

The game end and everyone return to the main hall to see Champagne Mami go AWF!  Her fucks are gone, her booze is gone, and she is done.  

The Sponsor wants to keep it down, but Addy is not having it on tonight. A Demon joins in.

Halle:

Me:

What? Let those rich people hash it out.  I don’t need to get involved.

Maxwell:

Me:

Maxwell pushes you, and you have to go in there like Iyanla. Halle:

Not that moment.  (But you should watch it, it’s funny!)

Well PB says that I have to come in on some magical negro/manic pixie dream girl shit and get y’all to sing the “I Love You” song from Barney so you can come to my wedding even though I don’t want you to be there.

Demon:

Me:

Excuse me? I broke nothing.  Sure I disrespected you, undermined you at every opportunity, embarrassed you after you asked me not to, got your mama to undermine you with me, but you signed up for that the moment you put that Liam could have me on the side as part of the deal.  Also, you fucked things up all by your lonesome.  

Halle:

Bitch, you would not have even gotten a chance if Connie did not come through with the bullshit at the eleventh and a half hour so that Liam could choose you when we BOTH know that he was gonna pick me from jump bitch! From jump!  And you fucking knew it because if you secure in your chances Demon, you would not have been bargaining with him in the middle of the night and agreeing to a side chick in the first place!

Oh, you want to forget that little nugget of 24 Karat fact!  

Champagne Mami co-signs but Godfrey is not mystified by Halle’s Iyanla.  Iyanla Halle gets him together too.

Me:

I am tired of this.  I hate that the MC literally had to be a family therapist to these people who can afford a family therapist that can get them together.  I hate that this was done to facilitate a redemption to someone who does not need it.  I hate that Liam left me to do ALL of the heavy liftings on this.  If Halle had to be Iyanla, why can Liam put on his Dr. Phil pants?

Halle fixes this family.  Champagne Mami will come to your wedding with her sponsor.

Well, Y’all know what happens next.

Chapter ends with the worst wake up call ever:

Random Thoughts:

Why am I being made to care about the family squabbles of these people? Is the Unity Tour a Halle does her best Iyanla tour?  All of these families could just hire Iyanla directly.  I know Iyanla works with Oprah, but she isn’t above money, and those families have money. 

I am going to riot if this happens for ALL of the tour. 

There was way too little of My King in this chapter.  Like he really was like “U Gud” and left me to fend for myself. I think this chapter was written more for people who are not with Liam in mind.  I don’t see how to divide and conquer is a good strategy when we are fighting for our country as well as our union.  Shouldn’t we show them more union? 

I hate this storyline so intensely.  Like: I didn’t think I could hate a storyline as much as I hated Bertrand and his baby mama drama, but this is taking me to new levels of hatred. 

Since we are going to Penelope’s next week, I have a feeling we will be dealing with PTSS.  She has a history of anxiety, and she was at the Homecoming Ball where she saw her bestie get knifed.  We will definitely talk about how that affected her next week.

Also, I do not ship Hana with A Demon.  A Demon said that she looked like a Disney princess, now they have a lurve story? FOH!  A Demon set out to emotionally traumatize Hana, FOR FUN.  I can’t get past that.  I know a lot of people would say that Hana is over it.  My response to that is Hana is over the hazing thing.  Hana did not hear A Demon say that she wanted to break her.  She was being escorted to the train by Drake.  Halle (MC) heard that and we as the readers know that.  I don’t think Hana would want to hookup with someone knowingly or unknowingly who wanted to psychologically abuse her.

I am going to go to my fanfics where they love me and I get all the Liam I want and no Demon.

[llawlietofficial]

my stream of consciousness during death note (2017)

So I finally watched this shit show last night, and kept a running document of every thought I had in order. Here are some of the top ones: (under the cut because....it gets a little long. it’s worth it though!) 

okay so first of all what the fuck is this opening song. 

LOSER LIGHT GETS PAID TO DO PEOPLES HOMEWOEK. 

Wow I wish I was as cool as goth head cheerleader Misa Mia

Ooh look at that chemistry

Light looks like a failed wannabe white guy kpop star

Someone gif those opening "death note" letters please

What's with the fucking illuminati symbols on the book ??

Rain makes everything more symbolic I can't believe the creativity of their choices

Aw he's seeing a girl get bullied OF COURSE that's motivation enough to kill

I can't believe Light is a feminist icon stepping in to save Misa Mia like that.

Oh god his whole speech about “technically you bullying me is child abuse” needs to be a copypasta. Someone needs to slap that kid.

SOMEONE JUST SLAPPED THAT KID.

Why does his voice sound like that

Why does his face look like that

Why does he have frosted tips

I can't believe Light is the loser loner pining after the head cheerleader with a girlfriend.

Light is ?? A troublemaker ???

Why is the death note so crusty looking

Marbles.

LIGHT'S SCREAMS MAKE ME SCREAM I want that as my ringtone

"Shall we begin." Wow I love Star Trek Into Darkness.

"Some 8 foot tall demon looking motherfucker" is honestly the best possible description of Ryuk so at least they got that one right.

RIP Light's first victim, Kenny Doyle. You will be missed. 

This Bitch chooses one of the most violent possible deaths for his first victim ???? But canon light didn't like. Start out wanting to cause his victims physical pain. He's not a sadist he's a moral janitor. 

CANON LIGHT WOULD HAVE THOUGHT CHEATING WAS A BIG DEAL !! HE WOULD HAVE KILLED PEOPLE LIKE HIMSELF !!

Oh my god he's so angsty just get a fucking diary.....wait...

Wow I love blatant exposition dropping. I wonder how many times him and his dad have had that exact same conversation over dinner conveniently explained Light's tragic backstory. 

Because this is America. You can't kill people without a tragic backstory (if you're white)

Is he going to scream like that every time Ryuk shows up?

"Your fingers are huge." Hmm? Why do you care about that, Light? Unless you have something you want to share with the class? 

I can't believe they changed Ryuk's motivation that's like everything about him as a character. He didn’t say he was bored like, a single time in this whole series what’s the point. 

He has a whole file on his tragic backstory that he keeps laying around in his room this is next level bullshit.

JESUS FUCKINF CHRIST LIGHT WHAT HAPPENED TO SIMPLE HEART ATTACKS

He. Impaled himself. On a steak knife.

Light's mom was a hippie !!!!!

I can't believe Light's motivation is "karma's a bitch" what an icon. 

I can't believe Misa Mia’s turned on by murder.

Actually. I can believe that.

Light's just. Carrying around the death note right in the open.

"I can't tell you” *brief pause* “so you really want to know?" BITCH YOU EIDN'T EVEN LET HER ANSWER. SHE SEEMED SO UNINTERESTED ANYWAY. WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS COMPULSIVE NEED TO CONFESS THAT YOU’RE A MURDERER! 

LIght wants pussy that bad.

"Your poetry sucks" okay I actually kind of like that line, Misa Mia’s a snarky bitch like she deserves to be. 

She looks bored. Light she doesn't want part of your murder fest !! you don't have to confess so often !! 

as soon as the police swat car hit that guy my friend turned to me and said "when you're a police officer but still text and drive"

Ooh blurry lights that's an edgy cinnamon topography choice.

I don’t like how everyone in this movie is all mumbling.

How many people are going to make mood boards out of the scene where Light and Misa Mia are leaning against that neon sign???

"Do you think I'm crazy?" "If anything I think you're not crazy enough" wow I love the joker and harley quinn!! normal is just a setting on the dryer~~~ rawr

TEHY'RE POST MURDER FUCKING

I said out loud "I can't believe they're going to post murder fuck" and my friend said "But you'd think that was kinky in high school" and i said "hell I think that's kinky now" why am i like this

I can't believe this whole murder fuck montage. They're so cute and in love. My friend just said “relationship goals” and i want to turn off this movie.

Is that Beastly in their school library????

"What they want is a god." 

Okay actually I can see Light getting off on talking about he's a god while fucking. I've read enough fanfiction to prepare me for that scene.

Why does he look like that??

I just love that "Kira saves" graffiti

Why did Kira kill 11 people in a nightclub what did they do ? so serial cheating for money is okay but getting drunk and having sex isn’t?? alright Light. 

L looks like a serial killer with the mask and the hoodie and the dead bodies and I’m.......not loving the look

WATARI ISN'T EVEN JAPANESE. THAT'S NOT EVEN HIS NAME. WHY IS THE ONLY JAPANESE ACTOR THE ONLY CHARACTER CANONICALLY NOT JAPANESE. 

I appreciate his continued sweets addiction though. He is. The only good thing in this movie.

Is he singing wizard of oz what the fu k is happening in this movie

Why do they all talk so quiet

the most inaccurate thing that’s happened so far is actually L taking a nap

Could Light act....a little LESS blatantly on Kira's side????

Detective James Turner.

Honestly this movie is just......boring.

I feel like the voices are at a much lower volume than the music and it’s just...bad

How does he know Kira's in Seattle ??? Is this explained or did I just miss it ???

"What would you do if some guy fucked me?" "I’d kill him." Wow I love this scene in Baby Driver.

I want that furniture. 

Oh I get it. His voice is muffled because of that fucking face mask. 

"Rest your glutes" 

All the things they could have kept and they kept L and Watari giving Light's dad ice cream?

Okay we see Light and Misa at school all the time, but are they ever ??? In class ??

OF COURSE L IMMEDIATELY GOES ON NATIONAL TV

L in a big black hoodie with the big American flag waving in the background is exactly what I expected out of this adaptation.

Light telling Ryuk to shut the fuck up is something I imagined hundreds of times in the anime but never thought I would be lucky enough to see on screen. 

"Besides I think you can tell when you're sitting across from a killer like Kira." HAHAHAHAHA WOW I LOVE THIS DRAMATIC IRONY !!

Light is smart. We know this because we keep saying how smart he is. It doesn’t matter that he’s not making any smart decisions. We said he’s smart so he is. 

I can't believe it's dark outside and they're both wearing sunglasses. You know who wears sunglasses indoors? Douche bags. And blind people.

Ooh Misa Mia doesn't want to pop popcorn and murder a few people there's gotta be trouble in Hollywood romance paradise

I hate the music choices in this movie. a lot. 

"There are no sides. Only the game.” what. 

I can believe Misa Mia’s casually watching torture porn on tv

WHY IS LIGHT'S DAD BASICALLY COMMITTING SUICIDE BY ANNOUNCINF HIS NAME AND HAVINF A PRESS CONFERENCE AND WHY DOES HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE THAT. there's a difference between not being afraid and being a fucking idiot !!! 

I can't believe Light just admitted to not being the good guys anymore.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MISA MIA IS LIGHT ???

Light needs to put his dick away. He really needs to put his dick away.

The cafe scene is really aesthetically pleasing and I hate it. 

"I don't do check, Light, only checkmate" FUUUUCK. 

IS THIS HOe FUXKING ADMITTING ?? THIS DUMB HOE IS ADMITTING TO BEING A SERIAL MURDERER AND ASKING L TO JOIN HIM THIS IS. A SHITTY FANFICTION. WHY IS HE SO DUMB. WHY DOES HE CONFESS TO WVERYONE HE TALKS TO.

Is Light going to get back with her just because she said I love you  ?? LIGHT SHE TRIED TO KILL UR DAD respect yourself !! 

Watari isn't his real name ????  Also what's the point leaving him alive? Free ice cream? Jesus light.

Why do they say Kira with the accent if it's not Japanese ?

L is.....coming slightly unhinged.....he seems.... to have a lot more anger issues that he needs to work through.

LIGHT IN A TOP HAT. I can't believe they're going to this dance. 

I just said "At a certain point it's not even entertaining anymore. It's just pathetic." and my friend, who is now drunk, said "I'm still pretty entertained but maybe it's because I'm drunk."

I can't believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. 

Actually. I can believe L grew up in that creepy ass murder shack. Also I saw the illuminati symbol like five times in that house so what's the truth????

HE DOES HAVE A NORMAL PEOPLE SCARE ME STICKER IN HIS LOCKER I THOUGHT THAT WAS AN EDIT.

Lmao I can't believe Misa Mia was the real mastermind the whole time. "You don't get to feel morally superior for being a pussy." OH SHIT. Oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead.

also L needs to calm the fuck down. Do they not teach you how to drive in the orphanage?

I don't know just what happened with that store owner attacking the armed black man assaulting the teenager in an alley way but it felt racist.

Light is desperate and pathetic. Has he made....a single smart decision?

"JESUS TAKE THE FERRIS WHEEL!!! TAKE IT FROM MY HAND !!!"

Chicago's I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love? Are you fucking kidding me?

At least Misa Mia died how she lived. Aesthetically pleasing. 

What the fuck is even happening in this movie. HE CONFESSED TO HIS DAD TOO. 

"I thought I was going to kill all the bad guys and re good guys would win but it wasn't like that" OH LOOK !! CONVENIENTLY A MORAL !!

and in the end, the white loner character who develops a god complex and goes on a murderous rampage killing hundreds of people and declaring himself god.....gets away with it......but at least he learned a valuable lesson about the nature of good and evil !!!! 

anyway those are my thoughts I hope you liked them !!

[otakuemilee]

Just my thoughts on death note NETFLIX movie

So i watched the death note movie last night and GOOD LORD it was bad I mean if i had never seen the original I might have actually liked it but since I have there was so many plot holes and scences were missing most not even all of charters were off and a bunch of other stuff

(I’M CURRENTLY REWATCHING THE ORIGINAL SERIES )

Side note sorry for the spelling errors and missing words I wrote all of these at 12-3 in the morning

Holy shit this is so American right off the bat

3 cop cars lights blazing with in the first minute

Pft light Turner ( is he related to timmy Turner from fairy odd parents

Kay so misa is a cheerleader now ?kool I guess

Light Turner:that smart guy who dose other people’s math home work

Creeper stop looking at the cheerleaders creep

So misa is the head bitch of the cheer team?

In case if you forgot where the movie took place, there is a highschool/collage football team practicing with the cheerleaders neer by

Oh misa smokes now also during practice?also also where the hell did the cigeret come from and how is fit already lit?

Boy notices girl (I bet they are going to do it later on in the movie ()

“Fuck I think she likes me even though we probley never met before ” look

Edgy title sequences with flashing different colours

+ Roll credits

None of the T’s are side ways nor upside down

Oh shit rave time

Oh shit sudden winds

Did she inhale he cigeret ?

Oh geez the note book has fallen from the sky

Oh shit right its right beside me

Let’s grab it

Roll credits

Now it’s raining suddenly everyone run away

Bullies sucks

Classic I’m gonna beat up up and steal your money

Girl tries to be tough only to be pushed by the bully and guy yells out after catching her “DON’T TOUCH HER”

OH SHIT SMART GUY HAD BEEN HANDING OUT ANSWERS TO PEOPLE

smart guy tries to make the principal see the bigger picture of things for students

Why did light lose his mom at a young age

In the anime he had his mother why the odd detail of a lost one to justify the guy HANDING out answers to people and to be edgy ????

Kool girl can’t talk to the edgy guy of the school

Random ass jumpscare Falling asleep in detention cliques

Why did you have to push all the books off the desk you could have placed them on the desk either side of you? Also why all the books anyways ?

At least they kept the rules of the book right

Why dose the writing end here ?

Holy fuck flashing lights,damn it the power when out why?

WHAT THE FUCK MARBLES

Why are there millions of marble in here in a glass jar some where back there

“Anyone there” clique

What’s with the millions of jars in the front or back of the class??

WHAT or who knocked this over?

AH BIG SPIKY THING

HOLY FUCK IT LOOKED AT ME

*nocks a shelf down by falling into it from fear*

Random winds indoors

Locked door when shits going down clique

Light Turner is a little bitch

Screams for a whole minute quite to look at shit flying around the class room screams like a little bitch again

Oh shit everything stoped and this room is a mess I’m going to be untroubled for this

My Apple has been ate *dun dun dun*

Ah A DISIMBODY VOICE

Main character thinks they are sleeping in a odd senerior clique

“Eight foot demon lookin mother fucker” -light Turner

Was just freaking out a second ago but listens to what the “Eight foot demon lookin mother ” has to say and dose the thing he says to do

Oh shit that chick is getting bullied what do I do?

“Let’s kill them by writing their name in this ‘death note ”

God damn I know you want this person to die but by decapations that’s a little fucked up mate

I was right God damn, that’s disturbing! A fucking lader to the face , it didn’t even take the head completely off just where the mouth separates

Also the girl and that guy now needs some deep mentle health help now that shits gonna stay with them forever now

OH DAMN SON THAT’S NOT RIGHT

Oh shit I was talking to the demon lookin mother fucker and now he gone but the powers back on and the class room is a mess

-12 minute mark

Oh look the book I just used to kill that dude like just pick this back up and act like nothing happened

Awkward dinner with my father (OH shit wait where’s lights little sis?) With a earth quake happening at the same time

Mubble mubble? Mumble . Mumble mumble mumble? Mumble mumble? JUST SPEAK CLEARLY PLEASE

SO the mom got ran over and died and apparently talking about this makes light angry as hell?

Time to use the death note to write that guys name down or wait what don’t trust ryuk?

AH DEMON IN MY CLOSET

Let’s toss a Apple in here

“2 days? Wow your fingers are huge ”

Causal steals evidence from the folder of your dead mom’s case

Out of pure spite I’m gonna kill the one who killed my mother

That felt good

WHAT THE FUCK Hollywood I get it more blood the better but god damn vomitting blood after falling neck first onto a knife that’s just gross and yes shocking but ewwwwww

Fuck ryuk looks fucking creepy as fuck,

Also why is ryuk so sinnicual in this in the anime he’s just like to as you want I’ll be right here eating all of the apples

Let’s read this thing out in public no one will notice except my crush

Cheer leader girl is kinda messed up

Oh wow your name is Mia,U COULD HAVE KEPT THE NAME MISA

-22 minute mark

“ I can’t tell you what this is but if you really want to know lemme tell you all about it”

Girl thinks u are batshit crazy son

Out of everything they kept the hostage scene ???

Oh damn you killed a man I believe everything you say and do now

Back to the whole sub plot of mommy died now I’m emotionally dead inside and now I have this book I can feel something now

“ Let us make a new world light”

Takes the lady up to his room and I told you they were gonna fuck

“Lets kill every one bad to fine the good”

“ be named kira” “why kira ? What dose it mean ?” “I means light in Celtic or Russian like that ” ^— it means killer in the translation to English or to (*キラキラ*) shine/glitter in japanese you twat also Russian yes but it means like the sun And no way is it even close to having a Celtic background it’s Greek meaning lady

Okay they kept the prison scene but to a minimum

Why the fuck is L at the scene of the crime??? Why didn’t they cast him like the fans wanted, who cares about a diverse cast , we want the quirks of the actual charter to be shown

If they cut out the whole tennis since I’m gonna be sad and if they do the whole tough black guy thing I’m gonna be really upset with the character

What’s with the random ass song ???

No really wtf

A SINGLE SONG PUTS THE GREATEST DETIVE TO LIVE ASLEEP DON’T LET ANYONE KNOW ABOUT IT

WHERE’S MY OLD MAN WATARI WHAMMY ?

dose the dad even have a name or naw

Wahhh that was watari singing that random add song??? Why is he japanese he was a English gentalman(kinda)in the anime ????

WHAT NO WHY?

L IS A CLEAN FREAK NO CANDY IS SPLIT NO WHERE WHY YOU NO SIT CORRECT KNEES TO YOUR CHIN FEET ON THE FLOOR GOD DAME IT

but hey you have the room of which they meet in so I guess that’s cool or are you gonna gloss over that and not show the task force guys ?

Apparently talking about killing people gives Mia a boner good to know

NO TASK FORCE ? THE FUCK

JAMES TURNER WHY?????

OMG JUST EAT THE ICE CREAM YOU DICK

L WHAT NO THIS ISN’T HOW THAT HAPPENED THE PUT A FAKE

WHAT ABOUT THE SHINIGAMI EYES MOTHER DUCKED? WHERE S REM? MISA SHINIGMA WHAT ABOUT HER HUH? YOU MISSES A CRUSAL PLOT POINT DUMBASSES

ALSO IT WAS OVER A LEADERS CONFRENACE OF HEAD POLICE FORCE PEOPLE NOT A TYPICAL ONE COME ALL REPORTER MEET AND GREET

NO VOICE MODOFACATIONS EAITHER??? REALLY?

Hahaha they kept the stalking of light

WHAT THE FUCK happened

Let’s do all live interviews with a mass killer on the lose

Let’s drop all of the f bombs man screw ratings

WHO MADE RYUK THE GOD OF ALL SHINIGMAS? DID THEY NOT LOOK AT DEATH NOTE THIRTEEN? ALSO WHO MADE THIS BOOK?

LET’S JUST BE DICKS IN PUBLIC TO EACH OTHER

UM WHAT IS HAPPING

NO NO NO NO NO NO

THE DEATH NOTE DOSENT WORK LIKE THAT YO,U CAN’T KILL OFF THE ONE CHARATER THAT LEADS TO SOMETHING IMPORTANT ASLO MIA YOU MORE USELESS THAN THE CHARTER MISA AT LEAST SHE HAD THE SHINIGAMI EYES AND HAD A NPTE BOOK OF HER OWN AND ACTUALLY DID THINGS

WHAT THERE IS NO RULE 89 Its FAKE you idiot There’s only 6ish rules and they have the simplest of loop holds but misa can see them too she knows more than you do about the death note light Turner

Uh no what the hell is st.martains orphanage in Montauk IT WAS WHAMMYS ORPHANAGE IN LONDON ENGLAND WHERE MELLO,MATT AND N AND I GUESS BB LIVED AND WORKED ON BECOMING THE NEXT L BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

??? Rochester wards what the hell is that??? I mean yeah sure yeah you got that part right about becoming great detectives but it was only yo become a sucesor to L Because he had a few months to live or whatever the time ACTUALly was

????? Now this is bull shit locking children away to make them stay sane? To be come a great deftective and the rest of which you are saying is shit , La in his thirty or so cause MATT and mello and near are all in their 20s or a wee bit older

Fuck this movie man

L looks so week in this like yeah watari is basically L’S father and what not but the guy I know and looked up to is being please as a guy who can’t do anything for him self watari this watari that I get it but there are things of which I don’t get about this portrale why dose he sleep for — amount of hours when we takes cat naps through out the day OKAY THIS TAKES THE FUCKING CAKE L IS RESTRICTED BY A POLICE OFFICER THIS MAN KNOWS HOW TO EVERY FIGHTING TECHNIQUE LNOWN TO MAN BUT GOD FORBID A OFFICER TAKES HIM DOWN AND HEY LET’S TAKE THE MOST MENTAL STABLE MAN EVER AND TURN HIM INTO A NEVIOUSE MESS

SO WAIT NO TRAPS IN THE ROOM NO PENCILE IN THE DOOR NO GOOD FUCKING PARTS TO THE ORIGINAL YOU PEICE OF GARBAGE CREATER

THE ORIGINAL HAD A BETTER SOUND TRACK AND NOT SOME CHEEP OVER USED SCARY MOVIE BMG

THAT’S HOW WATARI DIES IN THIS SHITTY VERSION A SAD PATHTIC DEATH

WHAT THE FUCK there are no rules you twat

This movie honestly broke my heart turned L into a shallow mess of a characterwhich made him look so week skipped a bunch a details that made the anime what it was it slipped over MAT,mello and near and the final battle at the end misa sucked a lot the final scene really is the point where ryuk writes lights name in the book but booboo Mia had to write it and blah blah blah I AM THE FINAL BATTLE AND THERE IS 21:48 LEFT TO THIS SERISE WHAT THE FUCK IF GONNA HAPPEN??? WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENES

NO BOTH OF THEM DIES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT’S HOW THIS SHIT ENDS OH WAIT NO SINCE LIGTS PAPER GOT BURNT IN A FIRE MEANS THE BITCH OH LIGHT ISN’T KIRA BECAUSE HE SAW HIS NAME A PAPER AND THESE DOSNENT HAPEN BECAUSE OF THIS AND THAT YOU MESSED UP BIG TIME MOVIE ALSO FUCK THE THE RULE OF WHO EVER TOUCHES THE NOTE BOOK SEES SHINIGAMI

FUCK THIS MOVIE TO THE FULLEST EXTENT THIS DID NO JUSTICE YOU THE ORIGINAL THIS WAS TERRIBLE AND I VERY MUCHED HATES HOW THE ENDING TURNES OUT FUCK YOU ADAM WINGARD AND ALL THOSE WHO HELPEd make this

Side note

WHO the hell comes into someone’s house and is all like HI yeah I know I don’t live here but gtfo the adults need to speak

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

“at least the jury is still out on that one, so to speak”

so to speak is right, phoenix :T

-

“I WANTED TO KILL YOU. WAAHHHH”

ok rayfa. easy there.

-

aw. the dad is so strong that he cant even bear to see the murder brat sad. 

hdgdhfgh im gonna die he’s trying to cheer her up by acting like the bad guy

at the risk of sounding tumblry, phoenix wright is a cinnamon roll, to pure or whatever 

-

...is this kooraheen’s ‘happy people’?

.....i don't like it

-

ahlbi doesn’t get to be an assistant but he does get to carry all my unwanted crap!

-

“first the high priest, and then his disciple! maya fey will pay for this!”

ah yes, she’ll pay for killing off people we recently proved to be dangerous insurgents. 

-

WHOA OK GRAPHIC 

-

well ok there’s no possible way Maya could have killed him that night.

“they think she came down the stairs and stabbed him” yes in front of 200 praying people. no, they weren't looking up but probably the sound of a knife being driven into flesh and also footsteps may have alerted them???

-

rayfa wants to know how a time of death is determined, not for real... but because she wants to know what the idiot groundlings believe ?

either she’s an idiot and she doesn’t realize its completely legitimate, or the writers are still trying to make fun of religion via the “science and religion don't mix” joke which quite frankly is getting REALLY TIRESOME

-

ok... well I'm not scientific expert but doesn’t the body eventually reach a steady temperature? how could you determine how long the body took to cool down if it was cooled down for a long enough period of time? also, it was really cold on that mountain. 

something tells me this will be useful later.

-

again capcom, pointing out how unlikely your plot is doesnt make it better. it makes it worse.

-

“I will curse you and your disciples for eight generations!”

I'm pretty sure apollo and the series has already been cursed, mrs. inmee.

-

every time she kisses his picture i cry 

-

Zehlot arrived at the same time as Maya, but Mrs. Inmee is more inclined to believe that Maya is a murderer? I mean yes she supposedly killed off the other two, but jeez. Talk about favouritism. 

-

they let us check out the trash again... simply for a joke about phoenix digging through trash. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

-

katchu-dehmal, eh? Pokémon gonna sue 

-

hey um mrs. inmee

you've got a little something on your wrist...............

-

“Puhray always prayed a lot”

the terrible naming convention just makes that sound incredibly stupid

-

“She may say these terrible things, but it was just the way she was raised, I guess”

um... a lesson in tolerance i guess

-

“I didn’t know him very well”

you didnt know the guy you stayed with for two years?? man i guess Puhray really did pray the most.

-

i love that theyre mentioning ramen and burgers

and also that phoenix is offering to buy for maya

its the little things that make this game liveable 

-

everybody loves steel samurai!!!

-

“Whooops... its coming undone... WHOA!”

yes, it is indeed a very sexy picture. nice legs.

-

“tentacled hag frog”

what is this, last airbender??

-

“a spirit’s memory is cut off at the moment of death”

well of course. that’s how Mia was able to come to court knowing what was going on and being able to set phoenix on the right direction!

genius retcon there, guys. I guess that’s why Mia doesn’t make a comeback in this game :/

-

“helped neighbouring countries seek counsel”

actually thats an interesting callback to the original games where they state that before DL-6, Misty and Kurain village were famous for helping out people in high places. this i do not mind so much.

... though i doubt this would prevent you being invaded, Kooraheen. Also considering she mentions ‘keeping their unique culture’ as an aside to that fact, and the fact that a lot of this fictional country is based off of Tibet... Ouch.

-

“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!”

hey, there’s that ol’ Khumerican spirit!

-

“so the queen can perform the dance of devotion? that’d be a sight to see”

Phoenix stop imaging the queen in a mini skirt.

-

“theres no reason to panic, the police are on his trail”

the police that let him run on foot out of a crowded courtroom. 

id say you can panic now.

-

in exchange for his visual youthfulness, phoenix has physically aged considerably.

meanwhile, Gregory Edgeworth was rocking major wrinkles at 35 and he was fit as a fiddle.

Oh Capcom, when will your beauty-based cruelty end??

-

are we legit going to search for Datz

-

ok now i rly wanna hear what a Warb’aad sounds like.

-

further proof that phoenix is a huge carnivore. i am pleased.

-

boy kooraheen isn't very accessible is it. stairs everywhere

-

i love that no matter where he is, phoenix is always buying food for children.

-

alright enough fun stuff. into the absurdly spacious sewer we go!

-

I'm legitimately laughing my ass off why is it so funny that Ahlbi didn’t know his dog could track scents????

-

AAA WE’RE IN

WE’RE IN A FUCKIN SEWER

IM YELLIN

-

...oh my god no... i stg... dont you dare 

OH GOD 

OHHH GOD 

fuck....

i dont know who’s stupider: the rebels or the police

-

he... can eat... an entire apple... that is half the size of his face... in one bite.

this, truly, is a man to be feared

ranger hobo, your new nickname is Potential Vore Machine

-

>phoenix likes apples

further proof he is a good boy

-

wow thats even worse

i thought they’d just put their base in the sewers, but no; their base is an OLD LAW OFFICE AKA THE FIRST PLACE YOU’D LOOK FOR LAWYER REBELS

again, not sure who’s stupider: the rebels, or the police?

-

“public enemy #1 is a lawyer? didnt see that coming”

clearly you expect more from this game, phoenix

-

“Im gonna sell out my best friend!”

>doubt

-

OH OK NEVER LOOK SURPRISED AGAIN CLOSE YOUR VORE MOUTH JESUS CHRIST

-

if he wasnt a rebel anymore he'd have kicked your ass since youre a lawyer, phoenix. its not that hard to put together that he’s lying. ...for some reason. 

-

LAME. YOU cant show him your badge??? bullshit.

-

fucking christ even when he whistles his mouth is larger than it should be. 

-

he really is rebel!larry isn’t he

-

so Dhurke has a power glare, huh? 

GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH

-

“is this a law book? the dragon’s mark has been branded onto the cover...”

pfffttt edgy 

-

hmm. must be a new law-book if the defence culpability act is in it, since if i remember correctly that law was only recently introduced.

-

i love that Dhurke’s shit is just everywhere in this stupid house

-

...no way is he actually doing to

i...

like

i can’t even say punk’d. Phoenix, why would you try on a jacket that once belonged to a rebel leader while inside a rebel base that you’re not even sure is friendly to you? 

like i 

sense of preservation just goes out the window at the idea of looking cool?? actually to be fair that kind of makes sense for Phoenix so 

phoenix you should take it home and get it dry-cleaned.

-

“hmm this is an old photo...” says phoenix looking at a photo that’s as bright and shiny as the day it was taken. also he correctly guesses that it was taken 20 years ago based on... what evidence??

actually if he actually acknowledged that thats OBVIOUSLY APOLLO THERE then he’d have an actual metric to go by but NOPE! just bullshit magic deductions!

-

yeah or Nahyuta’s pulling a long game and you assholes are too impatient 

i cant believe I'm defending sadmad :/

-

WAIT A SECOND. ARE YOU TELLING ME....... THAT KID WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE APOLLO....... IS APOLLO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

-

somehow Datz carried Phoenix through a tiny trapdoor and into this room huh

-

yay psyche locks!

-

YES!!!! YEEEEES!!! I GOT TO PRESENT MY BADGE

Soj... you may not be... completely horrible.

-

yeah phoenix, he was going to stab you if he thought you were on the side of the Queen

feel even stupider about that jacket now?

-

“Keera was working with the government the whole time?!”

well i mean what other motivation would they have? even if they were doing it for religious reasons that still lines up with the government’s intentions. 

this whole thing has a blacklisting smell on it too.

-

“a lawyer killed the queen, so the public turned against lawyers”

if that was how things worked, America would loath actors. 

-

“why does he have to jump like that before running off”

cause he’s a cartoon character 

-

“Well I guess we’re friends now”

oh phoenix 

my lonely baby

-

also where the fuck is Shah’do? That dog is a better policeman than every official in Kooraheen.

and i love that nobody notices people entering and exiting a sewer in broad daylight.  

-

well that was exactly where i thought it was

-

WOW GOOD GOING PHOENIX YOU DUMBFUCK

“HURRRHH I THINK ILL GO FIDN TH  SOOPER SECRET REBEL BASE WITH THE FUCKING PRINCESS IN-TOW. GENIUS!!!!”

OH YES, AND THEN TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND THEN LET HER COME INSIDE WITH YOU WITHOUT THE INTENT TO SHUT HER UP

BRILLIANT!!

PHOENIX WRIGHT, TRULY THE REBEL’S GREATEST ALLY.

-

ohhhhHHHHHhhhh

well well well well well well

this is interesting

-

“I think I’ll take a picture of this super secret rebel base”

hhhnnngghhhh

-

search every nook and cranny eh

-

“if the rebellion ever happens, i hope its bloodless”

while that’s sweet of you phoenix, you can count on it now, sincE YOU’VE REVEALED THE SOURCE OF THEIR WEAPONRY TO THE ENEMY

-

“What’s this? A bloodstain?”

Hope it is not Chris’ bloodstain...

-

CURSED NOISE

CURSED NOISE

TURN IT OFF!!!

-

this is where capcom hides characters they don’t like

Klavier is somehwere in this room....... festering

-

well we’ve come to the end of another investigation 

tbh I'm starting to get into the storyline, though it still doesn’t feel like an Ace Attorney game

it’s more like... it’s like someone took their Ace Attorney AU and made an entire game about it. It’s got some cool points to it, but all in all, it just doesn’t... fit, I guess?

Oh well. onto trial #2 and saving Maya’s butt once again

[houseofvans]

Art School | Q&A w/ Andy Kehoe (PA)

We’ve been following the magical and mystical works of Pittsburgh based artist Andy Kehoe for some time, and we’re excited to have him for our latest Art School Q & A.  Through his own unique visual language, Kehoe creates mesmerizingly imaginative and otherworldly places where his mysterious inhabitants venture into mystical interactions with the “awe and grandeur of nature.”  We chatted with this brush wielding wizard on various topics from his upcoming show at Thinkspace gallery, his process of creating some of these resin layered works to how he recently delved into the world of Magic the Gathering!

Photographs courtesy of the artist

Hey Andy, tell us a little about yourself. 

I’m just your typical run of the mill Korean/German/Irish-American trying to survive the mean streets of Pittsburgh with nothing but luscious head of hair, a foolish dream, and a sharp knife that thirsts for the blood of my enemies. 

In non-wise ass terms, I’m an artist that lives and works in Pittsburgh, PA. I share my house/studio with my lovely, awesome wife, Ash, and our insufferable furry children comprised of one dog, Gizmo, and three cats, Gremmy, Sir, and Mia.  

Last year is finally over, what were some of the highlights?  What were your favorite projects or shows?

I had an absolutely insane year of art making in 2016. It started in June with my most recent solo show, Fantastical Romanticism, at Jonathan LeVine Gallery. That was immediately followed by 3 group shows in the Fall. Then came the holidays, which are always a super hectic time for me with print sales and the usual holiday madness. It’s safe to say that 2016 was the busiest year of my life and, though it was very rewarding, I was glad to see it come to an end.

 My LeVine show was definitely a career high point for me. I put so much work into that show so it was great to see it all come together in the end. I wanted the show to be big and super detailed, so that added up to many sleepless nights. And man, was it down to the wire. I had so much going on in the last month and I remember looking at my notes and my crazy person dry erase board thinking, “My god…What have I done? How the holy hell am I going to pull this off?.” After fighting back the urge to violently vomit and weep, I just had to take it step by step and hope for no unforeseen delays. When working on multiple pieces at once, my goal is to get all of them to a point in which I’m comfortable I can finish them in the last month of work. So when a piece is pretty close to completion, I’ll put the piece aside and focus on those that need more attention. Usually, a large majority of the pieces get finished in the process.

 For this show, I had to keep bouncing between pieces and almost all of them needed to be finished in the last few weeks. It was an intricate and chaotic act of juggling to get them all done in time. I’m still unsure of how I actually pulled it off.

Any new and cool places you haven’t shown that you got to show at?

I also got to show some original work in Australia for the first time which was a real highlight. It was a smaller group show at Outré Gallery in Melbourne. I got to share the gallery with the super talented Femke Hiemstra. How cool is that? It seems like I have a surprisingly strong following in Australia. In fact, almost half my print orders these days get shipped to Australia, which is unbelievable. Thanks Australia! My show there sold out and I’m hoping this leads to another bigger show and an eventual journey to Oz.

What a truly insane year for you, so how is 2017 shaping up? I know you mentioned you have a new show at Thinkspace coming up.  What can you tell us about it?

I started 2017 by taking time, collecting my tattered wits, and beginning the process of catching up on every other aspect of my life that I had neglected during the art making fury of 2016. It’s crazy how much of your life will fall behind when you’re deep into the final stages of a show.

Now I’m working out some of my initial concepts and prepping a bunch of panels for the Thinkspace show in September 2017. My last show with Thinkspace was in Miami for the Art Basel fair madness, so this will be my first show at the actual gallery in five years. I’m excited to come visit the LA area again. The show opens on September 30th, so if you’re in the area, stop by!  (We will!)

What’s your process like for creating concepts for your shows?

The beginning of a show is all about trying to wrangle some strange, loose ideas out of the ether and wrestle them into some form of practicality. I spend most of this time with headphones on, staring at a blank, freshly gessoed panel while mulling over those concepts until something starts to form. Seeing the blank space where the painting will be helps me visualize the idea. It’s pretty amazing how deep and detailed your mind can get when you focus and concentrate hard enough. Maybe this could be considered some weird form of meditation. There was a time where I felt pretty guilty about spending a whole day just staring and thinking and jotting down random ideas. Now I know this is a step in the weird process I have for making my work.

Once the paintings start to take shape, I’ll finally reach a point where I can dedicate hours to straight painting. Then it’s on to listening to a whole lot of audio books and podcasts.

How many audio books / podcasts did you burn through for your last show?

For my last show at Jonathan LeVine, I listened to upwards of 20 books in six months. I listen to a smattering of contemporary fiction and nonfiction, but the largest portion of my reading/listening belongs to the Fantasy & Sci-Fi genre. These stories are world building in written form and listening to them never ceases to stoke and inspire my own imagination.

When you are working on your various pieces - do you work on them start to finish or several paintings at a time?  How do you manage it all?

As for my process, I always work on several pieces at once so there is no down time while pieces are drying. The beginning of a show is the toughest part for me. Trying to flesh out a dozen ideas and then plan out the different layers for each individual painting can be overwhelming.

I have a big dry erase board that looks like something your conspiracy theorist uncle would have hidden away in his tool shed in the woods. I use it to keep track of what layer I am working on with each piece, and for little notes about possible techniques and concepts that can be utilized. I also have a sketch book that has my initial concept sketches along with lot of notes. One thing I know about myself is I need to sketch and write ideas down or it’ll likely be lost in the void for all time. When you make a living off of your ideas, it’s of paramount importance to record them when they come. Inspiration can hit at the strangest times.

Knowing the first layer will be coated in resin and set for all eternity can make me a bit hesitant to jump right into a piece. Painting the first stroke is always the hardest thing for me. I’m not sure why there is no much trepidation on my part, but I need enough of a resolved concept before I can jump in. To keep my sanity during the first stages, I’ve learned to keep it kind of loose conceptually and to let the painting form in a more organic way. Many times I paint the background and decide to change the placement or scale of a character, or to alter the original composition completely. Sometimes, when the world starts to build up and materialize, I’ll see something else inhabiting that landscape so I’ll readjust and change the piece accordingly. Some of my favorite paintings come from lending fresh eyes to an incomplete piece and being willing to go a different direction with it. Working with the resin kind of lends itself to that way of thinking, since you have so much time in between each layer. But at the same time you have to make a final decision because, once the resin is poured, there is no going back. That finality can be really daunting, but being forced to make a decision and move on is very helpful for me.

Has your technique with working with resin changed or evolved? 

I am continuously experimenting and evolving that technique. For my most recent work, I started working with less layers and moving toward making my resin pieces less deep. The resin itself has become more of a painting tool for me. The paint effects and textures that I can achieve with the epoxy resin are why I love working with it, more so than the depth effect that initially drew me to it. There is certainly still a great deal of depth in the final product, but I don’t want that to be the primary focus of the work. I’ll still be doing some deep pieces to incorporate sculptural elements but, for the most part, I’ll be treating them more like traditional paintings.

How about traditional painting? Do you still find yourself working w/ oil and acrylic?

Speaking of traditional paintings, I’ve also been getting back into straight oil and acrylic paintings which has been very gratifying. I forgot how much I missed the opportunity to go back and work on the background. It’s been interesting to take all the lessons I’ve learned from working in layers of resin and applying them to a more traditional medium.

In your works, your dreamy and magical environments are very much characters themselves.  What aspect do the landscapes / dreamy realms play in your paintings and/or in your imaginary worlds?

The world itself is, in many ways, the most important aspect of my work and what I think about the most on a day to day basis. The awe and grandeur of nature is a prevalent theme for me and one of my greatest inspirations. Because I work in resin layers and work back to front, the vast majority of my pieces naturally start with the background. These nascent steps into the environment are the first thing I have to plan out and are the first elements of the piece to get fleshed out. The development of the initial background layer effects the direction of the entire piece.

There is a symbiotic relationship between the characters and the environment. The characters tend to be products of their environment and many times the environment is physically part of the character. This is sometimes apparent in the patterns of the clothes they are wear or maybe by the surrounding fauna actually growing on them. This harmony is an overarching theme for me, but a lot of that also has to do with the technical process of making the piece. As the world builds, the characters enter and evolve with the painting and the world gets more and more defined.

What’s something you think people might not know about an artist or mostly about what you do as an artist?

Being an artist and working for yourself is, of course, very gratifying. But, it also has much of the mundanity of running a small business. There is rarely a day when I get to wake up and just be creative and paint all day. I feel like there is a romanticized notion of an artist rolling out of bed, smoking a joint in his/her paint-spattered bathrobe, and being manically creative in the studio all day. While that’s true some days, most of my days are filled with emails (which I was bad about and now I’m getting worse), print shop issues, inventory, book keeping, and general life duties. These are truly mundane tasks, but you need to utilize every tool you can to sustain yourself in this crazy line of work.

What would you say to folks who want to walk down the art path?  'Abandon hope all ye who enter?’ or ‘Jump into the Fire’ ?

Be patient and create as much as you can. It takes a lot of time and a lot creating to come into your own in terms of technique and overall artistic purpose. Seriously, just make work. A lot of work. Making piece after piece is the only true way to refine your vision and help you determine what and why you want to create. Never stop challenging yourself, learn from each piece, and try to carry those lessons forward.

Share your work as much as you can. The internet is a powerful tool and your work can reach parts of the world you would never imagine. My following in Australia didn’t come from a huge exhibition or an article in a major arts publication. It came people seeing and sharing my work on the internet.

Getting the opportunity to showcase your work is usually the hardest and most frustrating part for aspiring artists. There is no set way to do it. So if and when you get that opportunity, make it count and take full advantage. 

Also, don’t let “making it in the art world” be your top motivation for creating.

In terms of art, what are things you admire or appreciate when you go to someone else’s show or view another fellow artists’ pieces?

I’m always drawn to work that is imaginative and genuine. I appreciate attention to detail and an overall care for the work. You can tell when someone really cares for their work and wants it to be the best representation of their particular artistic vision.

Technical prowess and craft is something I admire immensely, and something I strive for myself, but it has to be a whole package of vision and mood. I love work with a sense of mystery that can evoke a feeling of wonder and awe. I want to be able to stare at a piece and get lost in it for a time.

How do you stay balanced with art and non-art activities? 

All of my current non-art activities are intertwined and share a mutual need: A need for actual human interaction. (Besides finally getting to indulge in some long desired interests.)

 It’s easy to get wrapped up in adult shit. Work shit, wife’s school shit, house-work shit, all sorts of errands and shit. Lots of shit nonstop all of the time. When you work in a home studio, your personal life and your work life coexist in the same place. Unsurprisingly, it can all start to melt together and become your whole world. When you go to a day-to-day job, even if you despise some of your coworkers, at least you get to see other people in a different space out there in the real world. My coworkers are a dog and 3 cats. Though they do get up to some crazy things and the studio is full of tantalizing gossip, there is a definite void of human contact. It is always crazy to essentially work alone for months and then get thrown into the chaos of an art opening. Suddenly, I am surrounded by an overwhelming amount of people wanting to ask me about my work. Basically, something needed to change before I became an unsociable recluse.

Definitely can see that, so how do you un-wind after a full studio day? 

After working all day, I typically hang out with friends virtually via video games, but I really needed something tangible. So I started a board game day and got a group of friends to join me at my house and it was marvelous and fun. I love board games. My favorites are Betrayal at House on the Hill, Lords of Waterdeep, and most recently, Scythe.

Then I decided to take it up a notch and start a D&D campaign with those friends. I’ve always wanted to get back into D&D and I figured the best way to do it was to learn the new 5e version, become a DM, and start the whole damn thing myself. One thing about me is when I decide to get into something, I get pretty obsessive and go all in. I spent every second of free time researching it and learning all the rules. I learned to make charts and tables in MS Word and Excel so I could produce a whole laminated quick reference guide binder for all my players. Having a large format printer also came in pretty handy as I was able to make huge maps for the all the places I would be taking them. It turns out having a strange imagination and a deep love of trolling your friends is a good recipe for being a successful DM. Making stories is a lot fun for me and having those stories played out by your creative and somewhat twisted friends is super rewarding… and super hilarious. The tales I could tell of these adventurers and their deeds would make an bugbear blush. I still think of them every once in a while and chuckle to myself. 

Dude I love it, you went deep into gaming.  Last time we emailed, you mentioned you were competing in Magic the Gathering. How did that all come about?

Having friends over for those activities was fine and awesome, but I still wasn’t leaving the comfort of my familiar confines. So, a little over a year ago, I started playing Magic the Gathering and I’ve become a bit obsessed. It’s something I’ve always wanted to explore. I love card games and love the art attached to the game. The gameplay itself involves a lot of strategy and improvisation which I find mentally rewarding. I love that there’s so much personalization when it comes to crafting a deck and people can play it so many different ways.

And, very importantly, it gets me out of the studio and I get to meet new people and have some real human contact outside of my familiar studio/cat world. The Magic community has been very gracious and inviting to am aspiring player such as myself, and I really appreciate that.

Any other non-art activities you’re looking forward too?

I hope to start traveling a bit more in the coming years. My wife Ash has been in school for the last 4 years getting her Doctorate and she graduates this year! Hurray! She will be a nurse practitioner with a much better schedule. She’s had to continue working as a critical care nurse while also completing a massive workload for school, so besides being a total badass, her schedule has been far from flexible. We definitely love to travel and I look forward to our many future adventures together.

What’s the best art related advice you’ve ever gotten? What wisdom can you share with folks?

The best advice I ever got in regards to work was from my Illustration Concepts teacher at Parsons, Jordin Isip. Well, he gave me a lot of good advice over those 2 years, but the one that especially resonated was his advice on building a visual language.

In the Illustration department, every one of us was pretty obsessed with what our unique “style” was, and what would set our work apart from all the other illustrators out there. This is obviously a ubiquitous issue with Illustration students, so Jordin addressed this concern right away.

Right, aspiring artists are still concerned with finding their own style.  What did he say?

Essentially, he told us to not concern ourselves so much with where we’d end up in terms of our style, but to take a little bit from each piece we make and start to build a unique visual language. You start small with letters and words and build up to sentences and paragraphs. Eventually you’ll be speaking your own visual language fluidly with more and more elegance. I think that’s a great way to look at it, and it really worked for me. I still continue to follow that lesson to this day since it’s something that will always continue to evolve and grow.

How about the worse given?

I’ve been wracking my brain over some horrible advice I’ve gotten over the years, and I honestly can’t think of any that really stick out. Even if it’s bad advice, it’s usually well intentioned and not something to take personally. 

Okay, completely switching subjects, what are your FAVORITE Vans?

I love the classic look for the laced and slip ons. Plain with no stripe.

Finally, any last words, shout outs, and/or random words of wisdom?

I just want to thank you guys for reaching out and giving me the chance to spew my nonsense! 

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