#( also I'm still kind of finding snow's voice so I'm sorry if this reply is a bit repetitive/messy !!! )

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[kinardsevan]

any other lil snippets or sneak peaks we can get about the helicopter fic?<3

when I tell you I quite literally am not working on this story right now.... like I'm not? I just spent the last 90 minutes writing you this scene. (also if you want teasers for the aneurysm chapter coming next you're gonna have to ask 😂)

-

“You’re gonna scream,” Tommy replies. “A lot.” 

A small squeak comes out of Evan; not quite a whimper as much as an understanding of what’s about to happen. He takes a couple of deep breaths as Tommy watches him, and reaches up to shove the fabric between his teeth, nodding when he’s ready… or at least as ready as he’s going to be.

Tommy has to take his own deep breath before he lifts the first axe and then swings it down into the tight, open wedge in the frame to widen it. Evan screams at the jostling, but the first one isn’t bad. 

Once Tommy has the first axe placed as a wedge, he uses the second one as a hammer, deepening the wedge until he’s got enough leverage to do the next part. He glances over his shoulder at Evan, watching him briefly. The blonde is shaking and sweating on the ground, but still somehow keeping it together. 

“I’m really sorry,” Tommy tells him then, his voice trembling. “I’m really, really sorry.” 

He shoves the second axe through the frame as he hangs onto the first, angles both of them, and then pulls. Evan wails, barely deafened by the fabric in his mouth as his feet kick against the ground as the onslaught of fresh blood flow rushes through his arm up to his fingertips until Tommy’s effort has created enough space for his arm to drop through. It’s the kind of wail Tommy only ever usually hears coming from infants. That high-pitched, broken, gut-wrenching kind of cry that starts out full of power and dies into a shaking, breathless sob as Evan’s elbow hits the ground and he curls into himself fully, wrapping himself around the limb to protect it. 

Tommy tosses the axes back to the ground and kneels then, getting down at eye-level with Evan, running a hand through his hair as the blonde sobs from the pain. 

“Okay,” he coaxes gently, continuing to stroke his head. “You’re out. You’re out.” 

Evan doesn’t calm down, and Tommy can’t really blame him. Still, he doesn’t stop working, because they both need him to keep going. He digs through the first aid kit, gathering up the iodine wipes and antibiotic ointment. He goes back into it again a minute later, finding the front pouch of the bag. He’s not even sure if it’s in there—it’s not part of the supply list, but always felt like a smart thing to keep on hand—and he has to fish around for a moment before his fingers wrap around the small case. 

“Evan,” he says softly as he settles back on the snow, unzips the package. His boyfriend looks up at him, still snuffling, still crying. Tommy sets it on the ground at his side, reaching back into the first aid kit for gloves. 

“Tommy,” he whimpers, the no, please no, lacing itself around his name. Tommy locks his jaw, his teeth clenched so tight together at the sound of Evan’s voice that he almost can’t deal with the way this is all making him feel. 

“We can’t leave this open to the elements,” Tommy tells him. “If we were gonna do that, chopping your arm off actually would’ve been the better option.” 

Evan scowls up at him at the suggestion, but it does nothing to stop his tears. He takes a few breaths and slowly pulls his arm away from his body, finally getting the full view of the injury that Tommy has already seen. ‘Open’ doesn’t do it justice. He has tissue and ligament exposure, and the realization of that brings on a fresh round of tears. 

“God damn it,” he cries, holding his arm out towards Tommy. 

Tommy shifts on the ground then, moving one leg over Evan’s arm, above his elbow before resting it on his other thigh, effectively pinning the limb into place. 

“With any luck, you’ll pass out from the pain,” Tommy offers up, as though it makes anything better. Evan shakes his head, just letting the tears flow freely. He doesn’t watch as Tommy wipes his arm down with the iodine wipes, tries not to scream when he uses the antiseptic wipes. Definitely doesn’t pay attention when Tommy threads the needle. 

But even after all that, he can’t stop the way his body tries to thrash off the ground, reach out for the meat of Tommy’s thigh when the needle digs into his forearm, physically bites his boyfriend’s calf as Tommy keeps his arm pinned with both legs. When he’s tied off the first one, he rests a hand inside Evan’s stinging, throbbing palm, lets him squeeze for a few moments until the worst of the pain has passed. When Evan lets go, he readjusts the needle, starts the process again, tries his best to ignore the agonizing screams coming from the man he loves next to him.

Evan doesn’t stay awake through the rest of it. 

[helyiios]

Imagine Ethan seeing the rope burns and bruising on Benji's neck soon-ish after Kashmir and assuming that Benji had attempted to kill himself.

What he likes the most of about Kashmir is the weather. It's cold, yes, but it's also always bright and sunny, and the blue of the sky helps making his recovery less boring. When his ribs allow him to walk around the medical ward he does so, and he likes to take in the view. The mountains were nicer to see when he wasn't strapped to a helicopter and dangling off the edge of a cliff.

It's not all wonderful, though. Mostly, he's worried about Benji, whom he doesn't see much. Which is odd, because he's their technician, which means he should be debriefing with them almost all the time, but, well. He isn't. And that worries him. A lot.

Which was leading him to that particular moment, standing right outside his friend's small house in the snow, barely knocking. Maybe he was sleeping ? Maybe he should come back. Maybe he was imagining things, and it wasn't that bad, and he was being too overprotective like what Julia'd told him, and he should give him space, maybe—

"Yeah ?"

Benji's standing in the entrance, skin visibly paler than usual, with bright purple stains under his eyes. His beard is unkept, and his hair is a mess of locks, falling freely in his forehead. Had he been napping ?

"Hey," Ethan kind of lamely replies, waving awkwardly. "Can I come in ?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess."

His friend moves to the side, allowing the door to open wider and lets him inside the small barrack, where the bed was undone and multiple computers were laid on the covers. Not sleeping, then.

"It's pretty cold, huh ?" the older of the two remarks, "you should come 'round the foyer sometimes. They've got a nice fireplace."

"Huh ? Yeah, I guess," the other distractedly says, tugging at this scarf. That was his new fashion choice, from what Ethan could've noticed in the fast few weeks. That, or a turtleneck. "Did you need anything ? I'm...huh, a little busy, I guess."

"Oh, no, I just...I wanted to check up on you. See how you're doing, y'know ?"

"I'm fine," Benji retorts almost immediately, and his tone is barely snappy. "You know, same old."

"I mean, what happened with Ilsa was..."

"Nothing happened with Ilsa. Didn't you read the report ? We just knocked Lane off. More fright than hurt."

"No, I know, but still, I mean, we both know Lane and you have—"

"Have what, Ethan ?"

He pauses, visibly taken aback by the bite in his voice.

"Well. You...he doesn't like you, so I wanted to make sure that seeing him again wouldn't..." Ethan trails off, trying to find the right words, "wouldn't mess with your head."

"It hasn't," Benji replies, still tugging at his scarf, almost like it was choking him. "Was that all ?"

"You don't look comfortable in that thing," he points out, "maybe you should take it o—"

"NO !"

The yell rings out loudly against the four walls, and Ethan takes a step back in shock.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I didn't mean to..."

He stops himself, frowning in that way he did when something had just dawned upon him.

Not good, Benji thinks. Not good at all.

"Why are you always covering your neck ?"

"I don't want to catch the flu."

"It's not that cold."

"Okay, well, maybe not for you—"

"Benji," Ethan's voice turns serious, accusatory, even. "What's under the scarf ?"

"Nothing," the other horribly lies. "I told you, I'm fine."

"Alright. Then take it off."

"No."

"Benji, please."

"Why do you care so much ?!"

"Because you're my friend, and I haven't seen you in weeks despite us living in the same quarters, and you're acting all—all suspicious with it, and I'm scared something happened to you ! And I'm scared you're hiding it from me !"

"Oh, fuck this," Benji sneers, almost tearing the fabric from his neck, letting it drop harshly on the floor. "There. Happy, now ?!" he almost spits, face contorted in a mask of pure disgust. "Congrats, you found me out."

Ethan's breath catches in his throat, and he's pretty sure he felt the floor move oddly under his feet. Instinctively he wants to reach out to touch, but a flinch from the other man reminds him to know better.

The scars are ugly.

There's no other way to put it.

They're purple, yellow, red and black at the same time, and they spread around Benji's neck like twisted vines, almost cutting his veins in half. They're patches of pain and a testament of struggle, and they seem to be burning still, under the freezing air of the barrack. There are open wounds too, and they shine more crimson than they should.

"Wh..." he swallows harshly, trying to compose himself, "what happened ?"

"Nothing."

"This isn't nothing, Benji !"

"It's just scars. They'll fade eventually. This is all my fault anyway."

A beat.

No.

"Did you do this to yourself ?" Ethan manages to ask, voice small and in pieces, "Benji ?"

"What ?"

He'd heard that Benji had gone to several therapy appointments, after London. He knew, deep down, that his friend had never quite recovered from what Lane had put him through. How could he have, anyway ? God only knew what had happened between his capture and the restaurant. Had he gotten tortured ? He never talked about it, and it scared Ethan.

Because what else had he kept for him ?

"Did you—“ he chokes out, feeling ugly tears swell in his eyes, going to grab his friend's shoulders, "oh God, Benji, I'm—I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should've known, I'm so sorry, I should've been there, I—"

"What ? No, I didn't—"

"I didn't realise you were in that bad of a place, I'm sorry, I—I wish you would've told me—"

"I didn't try to kill myself, Ethan !" Benji manages to yell, raising his hands defensively, "I didn't—this isn't self inflicted."

A silence.

"Really...?"

"Look, I—" he shakes his head, a bitter laugh coming out of his mouth, and Ethan hates it, because never should Benji sound like that. It didn't fit him. "It was Lane. I went to help Ilsa, Lane was waiting for me and choked me, and then hung me to the ceiling. Ilsa cut the rope right after I passed out. That's it. That's the story. Alright ? There's nothing more to say. It's my fault, and I'll assume the consequences."

"Lane hung you."

"Yeah."

"Wh...why didn't you tell me ?"

The other man shrugs.

"You were busy with recovering. Didn't want to bother you with it."

"How would that be bothering me in the slightest ?!" Ethan screams out frustratedly, "Benji, I was worried sick !"

"Alright," Benji snorts, looking still as angry, "well, now you know. All good ? Can I go back to my coding ?"

"Don't do that."

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're isolating yourself from me."

"I'm not. Look, I just...I'm tired. Okay, Ethan ? I'm tired, and my throat hurts, I've been eating soup for 11 days straight, and I can't cough, or laugh, and I'm—I'm just sick of it. And to top it off, all of this is my fault."

"No it's not," Ethan protests, voice now soft. "Please. Let me help you."

"I like your confidence, but you're not good enough to make rope burns disappear overnight."

"No, I'm not. But I can help with reminding you to apply cream, and do it for you, and stay with you if you need to talk. I—I want to. I want to be here for you. Please."

Benji's eyes finally meet his, and he breathes out. His shoulders slump, like tension had left his entire body.

"Okay. Can you...God, I—"

"Yes," his friend earnestly replies, impossibly close, "I'll do anything. Just ask."

The other man nods against his shoulder.

"Can you hug me ? Just a little."

Ethan smiles. Benji is warm against him.

"Yeah. I can do that."

[valos-venus-doom]

Drawn & Quartered [Chapter 7]

February 15th 2011

Caitlyn was in bed talking to her friend Nina on the phone, laptop in front of her. Nina had just gotten engaged to her boyfriend Mikel the day prior and they girls were excitedly talking.

"I just emailed you a link to bridesmaids dresses, what color do you think?" Nina asked.

"These are all kinda dark for a summer wedding though. Are you sure you don't want to with something brighter?" Caitlyn replied.

The girls continued their chit chat not knowing Ville had just arrived home. He heard Cait talking but wasn't sure to whom or what about. He walked through the bedroom and smiled at Cait, not wanting to interrupt her conversation. He made his way into the closet to start changing out of his snow-dampened clothes.

"Did you find the ring he got you? Let me see. Oh my God it's gorgeous Nina!" Ville listened to the one-sided conversation. "He really chose a gorgeous ring. ...Oh my god look at this one though. Yeah, I just sent it to you. You go it? Isn't it so pretty?! I love it."

Ville tried not to eavesdrop as he passed through the bedroom again to go into the bathroom to bathe. He was able to deduce that Caitlyn and one of her friends had been talking about engagement rings. The fact that he heard Cait talking about rings and was kind of looking for herself got Ville oddly excited. He never really cared too much about marriage, and he and Cait had decided in the past it wasn't a necessity, but they also never said 'never' either.

Ville got out of the bath and he realized he didn't hear Cait talking any longer. Poking his head out of the bathroom door he saw she was no longer sitting on the bed, but her laptop was.

Ville quickly pulled his boxers on and took a look at her laptop. There were several tabs open, and he found the one Caitlyn had sent over to Nina, the ring that she had said she really liked.

"Say no more, my love." he mumbled as he sent himself the link to the ring via email. He was convinced he was going to shock the pants off of her and he couldn't wait.

January 10th 2012, 1pm

Ville hadn't been out of bed in days. The room was littered with water bottles and beer cans, cigarette ashes scattered across the floor, he'd given up on ashtrays almost entirely. The TV in the room played some random infomercial he'd heard almost 30 times before. He nearly had it memorized.

[ *BANG BANG BANG* ]

Ville could hear someone at the door, but he couldn't care less.

[ *BANG BANG BANG* ]

"Oh fuck off..." he grumbled grumpily before rolling over and slamming the pillow over his head.

To his delight, the banging ceased and he began to fall back to sleep. Only to be interrupted what felt like miliseconds later to a booming voice.

"Ville!" It was Mige.

"Fucking hell! When did you get here?" Ville asked sitting upright, heart racing in his chest.

"You didn't hear me banging?" Mige asked, clearly annoyed.

"I did. I was hoping whoever it was would fuck off." Ville replied with an eyeroll as he reached for his cigarettes and lighter. "What brings you here?" Ville asked nonchalantly as he lit the cigarette hanging from his lips.

"You haven't picked up the phone, for anyone, in days." Mige stared him down.

"Seppo bought me a new phone. It's somewhere. I think it's dead." Ville motioned dismissively with his hand. "How'd you get in anyway?"

"I got a key from Seppo." Mige answered impatiently. "I had to come over because no one has heard from you all week and when your mother texted me I got worried. I came over because I wasn't going to let your parents be the ones to find you had offed yourself."

Ville shook his head "I'm still here."

"You need to cut the shit." Mige shook his head in frustration, "This has gone on long enough. You're spent enough time feeling sorry for yourself and you've been making life hell for everyone around you. It's not okay and you need to pull yourself together."

Ville stared at Mige indignantly. He didn't have a real response.

"Don't fucking look at me like that." Mige admonished. "You know I'm right."

Ville dropped his head to his hands, keeping his lit cigarette in mind so he didn't burn his hair, "I know." He grumbled. "It just hurts so much." His voice cracked but he forbade himself from crying.

"Yeah, I know. But we have work to do and you need to stop terrorizing everyone. Clean yourself up, charge your phone, call your mother, get out of the house. Get some fresh air and stop moping."

Ville nodded.

"I'll see you Monday?" Mige asked.

Ville nodded again.

"Good." Mige patted Ville roughly on the shoulder, trying to be obnoxious to make Ville smile. And it worked, he got half a smile at least.

Ville knew Mige was right, he also knew he needed more cigarettes so he followed his friend's advice to the letter.

After a quick shower he threw on his shoes and a warm hoodie and headed out the door, leaving a message on his mom's phone that he was alive and well and not to worry.

January 11th 2012, 2am

Ville lit a cigarette as he sat at the end of his bed shirtless, watching the dark haired woman in front of him undress. He'd gone out for cigarettes initially, but got a call from a friend who wanted to meet up. This friend also happened to have more coke for Ville so he decided to go out and have some fun. There he met Sasha. She was his type. Tall, slender, dark hair. She wore bright red lipstick Ville didn't care for, but she gave him attention and it wasn't bad to feel desired again. Even if Sasha *was* giving him groupie vibes.

Sasha, now in nothing but a bra knelt down in front of Ville and he buckled his pants. Feeling her warm mouth on him, he inhaled sharply. "If Cait can move on, so can I." He thought to himself, eyes closed.

When he reopened them, he saw the pigsty that became his bedroom. He'd normally be embarrassed having a stranger witness the fallout of his life like this, but he didn't particularly care.

He shook his head and tried to focus on the woman between his knees, but it was difficult. Every time he shut his eyes he thought about Caitlyn. Frustrated, he pulled Sasha onto the bed and quickly penetrated her. No softness, no warm up, at this point. Ville just wanted to get to the finish line.

Sasha gasped and moaned as Ville fucked her, his eyes shut tight, trying to pretend he was anywhere but there. When was the last time he even touched Caitlyn? He kept trying to remember the last time they had sex together. Why did it feel like an entire lifetime ago?

Ville lost his pacing, he could feel his erection slipping away. Frustrated he tried going harder, but it was no use.

Just as quickly as he pushed Sasha down, he got off of her and sat on the edge of the bed, exasperated.

"Hey... you okay?" She asked timidly.

"I'm fine." Ville answered, cringing at how awkard this entire thing was. Now he remembered why he never did one night stands. "You can go." Ville coldly dismissed her as he stood up, "Lock up before you leave, if you could." He didn't look at her before disappearing into the bathroom. He didn't need to pee, he just needed to be anywhere but in that room on the bed with a stranger.

Ville stood awkwardly in his own bathroom, waiting until he heard Sasha leave. It felt like eons before he heard the front door open and shut. Once he was positive she was gone he walked back into his bedroom and looked around at the wreckage.

He needed to clean up. For a split second he thought about Cait and how upset she would be at the state of things. At the state of him. But the thought quickly faded and he heard Mige's voice in his head: "Cut the shit. You've spent enough time feeling sorry for yourself." It took Ville an extremely awkward one night stand for him to really see the forest from the trees.

Caitlyn was gone. She was clearly moved on and he needed to also.

Ville pulled out his phone to call her, wanting to just have one last conversation for closure but he decided against it. What good would that do? He thought to himself. Instead, he texted Sasha.

"Hi, sorry about that. I started not feeling well. I'll call you tomorrow."

He sat back on his bed and threw his phone into his bed into the tangle of blankets. Reaching for the remote, he flipped through channels until he found some documentary about medieval torture. Ville figured maybe hearing about the immense suffering of others would make him somehow feel better. Who really had it worse? Him or the poor blokes who were slowly lowered into a vat of molten iron?

Eventually, they documentary got to a portion covering the fate of a legendary Scotsman and traitor of the Crown, William Wallace. The fate? Drawn & quartering.

The victim was drawn (dragged by a horse to the place of execution), hanged (not to the death), disemboweled, beheaded, and then quartered, sometimes by tying each of the four limbs to a different horse and spurring them in different directions.

"If I'm drawn and quarterered it's only for you..."

The moment the line popped into his mind and Ville sat straight up. Reaching for a notebook on the floor he scribbled it down, the melody slowly coming to him as he hummed.

"Guitar." He grumbled. "Need guitar." he scrambled out of bed and continued humming the melody. "If I'm drawn and quartered it's only for you..."

It was nearing 3:30 in the morning, but he didn't care. He felt the music swelling inside of him, needing to be bled out.

"Let's hold these heart's for one another

It's worth all wounds, it must be..." he muttered madly as he scribbled.

'Finally,' he thought to himself, as relief washed over him 'Release.' Ville could have cried, he suddenly felt soothed. He felt like he could take the first full breath for the first time in weeks. Once again, music coming to save the day.

[redheadspark]

Can I request spring prompt 5.Person A kissing person B in the rain with Jack Russell and Fem!reader?

P.S. I love your writing.

A/N - How romantic for Jack! Thank you for requesting this, anon!

Drip Drop

Summary - Jack loves watching you, even in the rain

Warnings - Just some fluff

The first sounds of the rolling thunder had you on high alert. Then the soft pitter patter of raindrops along your window and the roof above you. After that was the sweet aroma of fresh rain coming through the slightly cracked window that also brought in the chilly wind that gave you a shiver. But you were smiling from ear to ear.

Rain was here, and you loved it.

Rain brought more than just water and cold: it brought life. Your mother taught you that when you were very small, sitting in her lap as she pointed out into the garden that was growing when a thunderstorm ran through. You were scared of the noise, snuggling into your mother as she cooed and soothed you.

"Rain brings us life, my darling girl. It feeds our plants and grass, it grows our snow and rivers, and it brings fresh air and wind in the end. We must admire and nourish the rain while we can,"

You took that to heart, gardening throughout the rest of your childhood into adulthood. Digging your nails into the soil, taking in the new plants to the soil with hopes it would give, it was all therapeutic for you. Yet throughout your time making your gardens and planting your herbs, you only assumed rain would bring you certain gifts.

Not a gift that was in the form of a person. Specifically a man.

You rushed to the front door and to the closet, shoving your way to find your rubber boots that were in the back corner of the closet and then your heavy raincoat. Another clasp of thunder was heard, coming closer to your little home as you went a bit faster.

"You're going out there I take it, my love?" You heard behind you as you stood up and got your boots on before shrugging your jacket on.

"How could I not since it's the first rainfall of the season?" You asked, back still turned to the voice as you got your hair in a messy bun high above your head. You finally turned, seeing who it was that was standing with a cock of his head and a smirk on his face.

Your husband, Jack Russell.

You met Jack turning a rainstorm several years ago when you were out at the grocery store. Of course, the rainstorm was not planned, and you were trying to buy a few things at the last minute before you knew you were going to be stuck in your apartment for some time. But as you were about to walk out into the downpour of rain, someone bumped into your shopping cart and some of your food spilled on the floor on accident.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you--" The man under his hoodie was saying frantically as he was kneeling down to help get your food off the floor.

"You're okay, it's not a big deal," You reassured the man, who lifted his hood to have you see his face finally. Jack's face was kind, almost youth-life though there were signs of him being a bit older with his peppered hair and wrinkles around his eyes. Feeling your beating heart against your chest, he handed you the loaf of bread gingerly and he smiled warmly at you, even with drops of rain in his hair and on his nose.

"Thank you," You replied with a hum. He grinned wider.

"My pleasure,"

"Wait, amor! You're gonna freeze!" Jack called out as you threw open the front door and walked down the cobbled steps before the rain started to come down harder and harder. You simply stood still, the cold wind against your cheeks and the rain hitting your closed eyes as you lifted your head to the heavens. It didn't matter that your jeans were getting soaked and your hair matted against your neck, you were happy. Beyond happy, all thanks to the rain.

You loved being in the rain, it was almost like a recharge that you would need every once in a while. Throughout your life when you had ups and downs, standing in the rain helped you. You stood in the rain when you got the good news of getting the job you've always wanted. You stood in the rain when your mother died from cancer, your tears mixing with the teardrops.

In everything and anything that was big in your life, you stood in the rain. It was a cleansing for you, a reset for you to try again and to be better.

You felt two hands on your neck, having you know those hands far too well as you grinned and felt a body in front of you. Lips were pressed against yours, your fingers moving up to wrap around his waist to pull him closer to you. He grinned, kissing you two more times before you opened your eyes and peered up at Jack with his loving stare at you.

Jack was your reset. Ever since you two got together he seemed to brighten your life. His kind heart and gentle tone were something you might have needed most of your life, and there was not a single ounce of regret to it. You both complimented each over very well, you took on his Monster Hunting and how he became a werewolf once a month. He thought you would run from him, but you instead stayed closer to him all the more.

He held you in the rain when your mother died, never letting you go as you both were getting soaked to the bone. It was a sure sign he was the one, and your mother would have loved to meet him.

After kissing for a few more minutes, Jack then picked you up in his arms and you giggled as he walked you back to the cottage, "We're getting you warmed up with a hot bath, my love,"

"As long as you're joining me," You teased as he laughed and kissed your wet cheek.

"How could I not join you?" He asked.

The End.

[white-lyra]

Hi, i'm new here and i wanted to start an Heimdall x Reader i wrote the first chapter, i'm not english so please don't hate me.

I hope you will like it and please tell me if i write something wrong, i'm still learning english and i want to learn this language 100% well.

Part 1

This is (yn)

They are the goddess of Power.

Her eyes are one of a kind, his father had something like this, she hides them by putting bandages to cover them so that nobody sees them.

Although they look nice to look at she doesn’t let anyone see them.

Her hair is brown and long, she doesn’t like someone touching her hair she only lets Moon touch it.

(yn)'s tattoo:

Some pictures of what (yn) wears , and earrings:

I created another character, her name Is Moon and she Is the goddess of justice, revenge, karma, personal growth and new beginning.

From their first meeting they did not separate anymore, Moon felt the sense of revenge of (yn) guide her to her, from that moment they always helped each other, (yn) taught Moon how to fight while Moon taught (yn) some methods for healing.

They were always together wherever they went.

She is proud of her eyes representing the color of her magic and also her favorite color

Her hair is dark and she likes to style it differently when she has time.

Moon's tattoo:

Some pictures of what Moon wears :

"hey (yn) we should go check on that creature it’s been a while since we went there"

Speak a voice that distracts me from my reading.

"You’re right and the temperature is falling we must hurry if we don’t want to find It dead"

I get up from my seat and put the book on a nearby table ,I take my staff, you have understood well staff, it may seem a useless object if it was just a normal staff but fortunately mine is not, and my sword that I attach to my belt. I leave the small house lowering a little so as not to hit my head, I am high enough and the door is too small for me so I lower myself, just outside meeting Leo, my pet is really good, and it’s very big, Leo has a very soft mane of light orange color with red streaks on the body, I caress his snout and a little mane , I wait for Moon to come out.

While I check that there are no Helwalker around, it’s already cold and I don’t think she wants to fight and neither do I now that I think about it.

"I’m here let's go," says Moon, closing the door behind her

"Let’s go Leo"

We walk to the abandoned structure where the creature lies, unfortunately we do not know its name and I do not think it wants one probably has already, given by its previous owner.

We keep walking until we get to the poor abandoned animal lying on the snow, we get closer and try to understand if it is still alive and fortunately opens its eyes. Suddenly we hear a thud behind us, we turn ready to attack whatever has approached, we turn to see a boy on the ground who is about to be attacked by a Helwalker.

I quickly pull out my Kunai and throw it at the monster by stabbing him , I throw him with the chain attached to the Kunai away from the boy, I throw it back on the head killing him permanently, while Moon approaches the poor boy on the ground.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she says checking for any injuries on the teenager’s body.

"no I’m fine thanks for saving me," he said

"What’s your name? And what are you doing here alone?"

"my name is Atreus and I ran away from home"

"You should be careful, you look lost," I said, approaching him and reaching out to help him up.

He took my hand with a smile rising from the cold ground

"in fact I am umm I haven’t been here for a long time I was looking for this house a friend of mine lives there"

"I’m sorry to disappoint you but nobody lives here" Moon replied

"what?" he says making a confused face

"She didn’t even come back to take care of him?" he said as he approached the poor animal

"has been abandoned for quite some time"

he looks away from us to look at the house

"That’s why we were there" I say making him stop to look at us

"We don’t live very far from here we found it covered with snow and we decided to keep an eye on it until its owner would come back but no one ever came back," said Moon going towards the creature, she touches its face a bit making it wake up.

"Ehy we are here to help but we have to get in to do it you can please get up"

With a little effort the creature gets up just enough to let us in

"Come on! I don’t think he can stay that way for long"

We run to the door and slide under the small space before it closes again, we fall into the empty and cold house.

"Ugh… where is Leo?" I said as I attach my staff to my back

"Leo?" asked Atreus

"Here!" I looked in the direction of Moon to see her get up with Leo next to her

"Woah!" Atreus flinches slightly at the sight of the predator

"Calm down is harmless if you do not bother him so much" I also get up and approach Leo stroking his head a little, we look around the house to find something to light a fire

"I never had your names" suddenly says Atreus

"Oh right, where are our manners? I am Moonwhile she is (yn) and you have already met Leo" said Moon continued by a deafening silence, you may hear a pin falling.

"Why did you run away from your house?" she suddenly says

"Moon!"

"What?" she says as I approach a table locating a book on it

"maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it might be a private thing," I told her as I opened the book and tore some pages

"oh no no it’s okay umm my father and I fought because I wanted to go to Asgard-"

"Asgrad?!" Moon said with surprise as I turned to look at him holding tightly the paper ball I was about to throw into the fireplace

"y-yes but it’s to save my father and my friends too"

"Do you work for Odin?" I said softly while he stiffens under my tone

"no no, I just want to stop whatever’s on his mind."

"ah this is a relief" I say turning again and throwing the crumpled paper

"Do you know him?"

"unfortunately" Atreus approaches pulling a knife and taking a stone but I stop him putting a hand in front of him, he looks at me confused, I close my hand fist and then reopen it making a flame appear I throw it in the fireplace lighting a decent fire to warm us up a little

"Do you also know magic?" Atreus asks curiously in his voice

"different kinds of magic" I answered by sitting by the fireplace to savor some of the warmth.

"We met Odin a long time ago I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t recognize us anymore" Moon says

"I hope you know you shouldn’t trust Odin," she continues by sitting next to me

"I know if I can ask why you wear blindfolds?" I turn around and look at him, "sorry I shouldn’t have asked."

"No it’s okay you told us why you ran away from home and that you want to meet Odin… I wear bandages because I don’t like to show people my eyes I don’t like to be the center of attention and my eyes would attract enough people would be scared they’re not pretty to look at," I explained to Atreus, getting tired of being sitting on the floor, I noticed that Moon made a sad face at my explanation, she tried a lot of times to convince me not to hide them, She says that people would not be scared but amazed, but I never believed that people would accept someone’s differences just because they are beautiful, I wanted not only words but also actions.

"You said you wanted to stop whatever Odin had in mind, do you have a plan?" Moon asks looking at him with curiosity wanting to know more "I feel a sense of revenge coming out of you"

"I don’t really have a plan I’ll try to keep an eye on him- wait you said you feel a sense of revenge? How do you feel that?" he looks at her confused while she laughs slightly "this is a story for another time" says Moon

"You know by yourself I don’t think you’re gonna get very far Odin is smart"

"I know but it’s just me others are against me they don’t want to understand that I’m trying to help them but even if they did I don’t think they will help me" says Atreus with a little disappointment in his voice, Everyone who is against you but you are just trying to help them is really hard to deal with on your own.

"We can help you the situation you’re in is stressful especially when you’re alone we understand what you’re trying to do even if we’ve only known each other for 5 minutes I’m willing to try to help you" I say looking him in the eye even though he can’t see mine

"Really?! But as you said, we’ve only known each other for 5 minutes, I’m a stranger to you," he says, getting off the ground

"Correct but Moon and I also want to stop Odin and you are alone even though Asgard may seem beautiful it is also dangerous you have to be careful of the people who live there" Atreus simply smiled happy to have someone who believes him and understands the intentions he has.

"Well how do we get to Asgard? And can we take Leo with us?" asked Moon

"Leo comes whether Odin likes it or not," I say, ignoring any request Odin has in mind

Before Atreus can keep talking we hear a little knock on a window.

Atreus approaches and opens the window revealing a crow with red symbols on his eyes

"We were looking for you I’m ready to take us to him," he says

The crow flies in and perches on a chair nearby, making a noise by letting in other crows.

Leo shakes off some water making it go in the eyes of Moon "Leo!" As she dries her eyes we look around confused

They fly around us until you just hear the sound of the beating of the wings then they disappear and we find ourselves falling into a lake,

We have difficulty staying afloat to get air but then we can get closer to the mainland, coming out of the cold water of the lake.

"This is not Asgard we are out of the wall," I say, pointing to the large wall not far from us.

We walk towards it killing some monster and passing a bridge that leads to a small village just near the foot of the wall, while Atreus and Moon talk to a boy I look up at the wall.

"will be hard to climb" I thought

"Ehy (yn) the only way to get to Asgard is to climb the wall so come on let’s go!" Moon says, we all approach to begin the climb

"We are coming Odin"

note: i hope you liked the first chapter and please tell if write something wrong. byeeee

[berenwrites]

Beyond the Battle - Chapter 43 - Stranger Things - Steddie

Beyond the Battle­: Action & Consequence

A/N: Please forgive the slow updates. We are about 2 or 3 chapters from the end of this portion of the story and I am getting it done as fast as I can. I've just upped my YouTube content from 1 vid a day to 3, so I'm a bit snowed at the moment while I get used to the new schedule, so sorry.

Click here for All Posted Chapters

Summary: Steve hits things with a bat or gets hit depending on who you ask. He definitely does not have anything to do with the psychic stuff. That is El’s domain. However, as Vecna is defeated, the rules change.

Pairing: steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Other Relationships: Steve & Robin, Steve & Dustin, Eddie & Dustin

Rating: Teen

A/N: Multi-chapter story, updated regularly. Honestly not sure how many chapters it will have yet because it's still a bit hand wavy in the middle, but definitely more than 12. Thank you to my beta for find my mistakes and to all those who read/like/reblog.💖 Follow #st:beyond-the-battle for updates.

Also on AO3

Chapter 43.    Coping & Moving Forward

They weren’t exactly a sit in front of the TV and vegetate kind of family, but everyone was so wiped out from the day, that’s that what everyone seemed to fall into. Steve and Eddie had an end each of one of the couches, his mom and dad were sitting close to each other on the second and Wayne had taken up residence in the armchair.

Steve didn’t even realise he’d dozed off until the ringing of a phone woke him. He was halfway to it before he had even registered, he was moving.

“Hi, Robs,” he said as soon as he picked it up.

For a second there was silence from the other end of the line, which immediately worried him.

“How did you know it was me?” Robin asked.

That brought him up short.

“No idea,” he replied, because he was more worried about the tone of Robin’s voice. “Not important right now. What’s wrong?”

He heard Robin take a deep uneven breath.

“When we got home,” she said, “we started talking. Mom and Dad wanted to know what happened, how, how I really got involved in all this. I told them everything. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I thought … I thought it was cathartic, but now…”

She trailed off.

“It’s okay Robin,” he said in the gentlest way he knew how, “I’m coming to get you.”

He waved at Eddie across the room, beckoning him over.

“I’m going to leave Eddie on the phone with you, okay?” he explained. “I will be there before you know it.”

“Steve,” was all that came back.

He’d heard Robin like this before, in the weeks after Starcourt. Sometimes it was just too much. Her parents might know now, but the whole party already had their coping mechanisms and he and Robin had been each other’s for nearly a year now.

“I’m coming,” he promised before handing the receiver over to Eddie. “Just talk, please,” he told his boyfriend.

“Can do,” Eddie replied as Steve grabbed his keys and the walkie that was sitting beside them.

“Steve, is there anything we can do?” his dad asked from the other side of the room.

“Not yet,” he replied. “Maybe later. Thanks.”

He headed out the door quickly. The drive to Robin’s house was so familiar he could do it in his sleep. He probably broke several traffic laws, but he wasn’t paying attention, so he wasn’t sure. Pulling up outside of the Buckley residence, he was out of the car almost before the noise of the engine cut out.

The front door was already open. No need to climb in windows anymore. Mrs Buckley simply directed him towards the stairs. He found Robin sitting on the bottom step with the phone to her ear but face blank as if she was barely registering anything.

“Hey, Robs,” he said, sitting down next to her and gently prying the phone from her fingers.

She leaned into him instantly as he wound his other arm around her shoulders.

“Eds, thanks,” he said into the phone. “See you later.”

“Bye, Steve,” Eddie replied, and Steve put the receiver back on the cradle.

“Everyone’s safe,” Steve promised, even as Robin curled up against his chest, ear against his sternum.

He knew she was listening to his heartbeat. Sometimes all Robin could think about when she was like this was how they had been tied to chairs and she had had no idea if he was even alive. He would never stop her from making sure.

“You’re okay,” he said, kissing the top of her head, “I’m okay, everyone’s okay.”

“Keep thinking if you weren’t… well y’know…” Robin whispered. “What they did… you could be dead.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, totally getting what she was saying even without all the words. “But I am, and they messed up with us, and I’m not.”

He glanced up at Robin’s parents who were standing further down the hall by the front door. They were holding each other, worried frowns on their faces as they witnessed first-hand what the trauma had done to their daughter for the first time. Robin had been so careful to hide it from them. She didn’t have to anymore and Steve guessed that was both a blessing and a curse. He tried to convey that everything would be okay, but they couldn’t read him as well as Robin could, so he wasn’t sure how well he managed.

“Couldn’t do this without you, Dingus,” Robin said into his chest.

“Me either, Robs,” he assured her. “Where else am I going to find a platonic soulmate who will put up with an ex-jock idiot?”

“Not an idiot,” she said, and slapped him on the arm.

“Many would disagree,” he replied.

“Where, I’ll fight them,” she replied, before the tiniest sob escaped her.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his other arm around Robin as well and pulled her close. It was an awkward angle, but he didn’t remotely care.

Robin was not a big crier, as Steve had learned over their friendship, but when she did cry, she cried hard. He held her while she let it all out.

“I feel dumb,” she said eventually, sometime after she had cried herself out.

“How many times have you explained to me that crying is good for you?” he replied without hesitation. “Nothing to feel dumb about.”

“Made you come all the way over here,” Robin said, without lifting her face from his chest.

“Still doesn’t beat the time you rode all the way to my house on your bike in the rain because I called you on the walkie at 3am,” he countered. “Never too late, too much, or too far,” he added for good measure.

Robin finally pulled back a little at that and looked up at him.

“Love you, Dingus,” she said quietly.

“Love you too, Robs,” he replied and popped another kiss on the top of her head.

Her eyes slowly shifted from him to where her parents were standing.

“Love you too,” she said in a tiny little voice.

“Oh, Sweetie,” her mom said, finally moving closer.

“Sorry,” Robin apologised.

“Nothing to apologise for, Love,” her dad assured her.

Steve let her go as her parents approached and she ended up in a three-way hug. He couldn’t help wondering how many similar scenes there were in Hawkins this evening now that everyone’s parents finally understood what had been going on.

~*~

Steve was crashing. He could no longer escape the inevitable. All the nervous energy he had expended during the day was coming back to haunt him. In other circumstance he would have stayed at Robin’s house, but he had been all too aware of his parents and Eddie waiting for him back at his place. Hence, he had packed Robin in his car, invited her parents to use one of the guest rooms and driven back.

He kind of remembered giving his parents a quick explanation, not that he was sure how coherent he was, then getting Robin’s parents settled, but he really had no recollection of making it upstairs. The minty taste in his mouth suggested he had manged to clean his teeth, but he didn’t remember doing it. Or pulling on the sleep pants he was wearing or ditching the rest of his clothes.

“Okay, bed.”

Turning his head, he found Eddie standing next to him in the bathroom.

“Hey, Eds,” he said, smiling dopily, simply because he wanted to.

“You are adorable when you’re running on fumes,” Eddie replied, leaning in, and pecking him on the lips. “Come on.”

Eddie grabbed his hand and led him into the other room. The moment he saw Robin sitting up in the other side of the bed, be clambered in himself, lying down and dragging her to him. She curled up against him, head on his chest without a word and he wound his arm around her back. It wasn’t the most comfortable way to sleep, but he knew what Robin needed. Once she was comfortable, he held out his other hand to Eddie.

“I am going to die of cute overload,” Eddie muttered as he climbed in. “My dark and dangerous image may never recover.”

“Hate to break it to you, Lord of Dorks,” Robin replied sleepily, “but you lost that ages ago.”

“Are you challenging me?” Eddie asked even as he made himself comfortable, “because I can demonstrate how I got my reputation.”

“Bring it on,” Robin mumbled, clearly just as exhausted as Steve felt.

“Sleep,” he insisted as the closeness of his two favourite people in the world lulled him the final distance towards slumber. “Love you,” he whispered as he drifted off.

~*~

Eddie was hanging off Steve’s back as he added seasoning to the eggs he was cooking. A touch of paprika was amazing to get the tastebuds going.

“Good morning, boys.”

He felt Eddie go ridged for just a second at the sound of his mother’s voice.

“Mrs H,” Eddie said after a moment, moving back from Steve in a casual move that still had Steve’s heart thudding in his chest.

He hadn’t realised anyone else was up yet. Robin had curled up into a little ball and gone back to sleep when he had extracted himself from the pile of bodies in his bed. He had been a little surprised when Eddie had also decided to get up. That was until Eddie had revealed his pearly white fangs. They’d been as quiet as physically possible, hoping the noise of the shower running would cover everything else.

Steve was never going to get over how good Eddie feeding from him was.  It probably had something to do with why they had almost forgotten themselves once they came down to make breakfast. He really couldn’t get enough of Eddie, and it seemed to be mutual.

“Your son is being mysterious and won’t let me see what he’s making,” Eddie went on. “I’m sure you raised him to have better manners. Would you make a guest climb over you to get a peek at what’s for breakfast?”

It was a smooth excuse.

“You tried to add extra salt,” Steve did his best to play along. “You are a menace.”

He turned to give his mom a smile. She smiled back, but the lingering look she gave him had his stomach twisting in knots.

“Morning, Mom,” he said, praying that his perfectly calm façade was convincing.

“I gave up trying to interfere with Steve’s culinary exploits many years ago,” his mom said as she walked over to the coffee pot. “He’s been a better cook than me since he was twelve.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” he countered.

“Oh darling, it’s not,” his mom said. “I’ve never been particularly domestic, and your grandmother is the one with the gift in the kitchen. It definitely skipped a generation. I hate to break it to you darling, but all those cookies I made you as a child, straight out of a packet.”

“Mom, how could you?” Steve played along. “And I told all the kids at school how great a baker you were. Does rather explain all the Pillsbury packets I found in the trash that time though.”

Eddie’s giggle at that sent a delightful fizz up Steve’s spine. Wow, did he have it bad.

“Elementary school bake sales were always a dark time in my life,” his mom said, hand over her heart as he glanced round.

“I’ve heard they can be brutal,” Eddie joined in.

“Some parents can be very competitive,” was his mom’s response to that. “But I did make a very good friend when we paired up against a dad who took it way too far. The strongest bonds can be made in adversity.”

“No word of a lie,” Eddie said and caught Steve’s eye for a moment.

“Can I get either of you boys a coffee?” his mom asked, dragging his attention back.

“Not for me, thanks,” he replied, “but I’m pretty sure Eddie runs on the stuff by now.”

“I cannot help it that my system requires caffeine to function smoothly,” Eddie protested in his grandest tone. “You heard what our boy genius had to say.”

“And that was?” his mom asked.

Steve gave Eddie a quick glance.

“Oh, Henderson thinks I may have … um, Steve what was it called?” Eddie said.

“Attention deficit disorder,” he supplied, having made a mental note of it. “Apparently one of the symptoms can be that caffeine has a calming effect rather than what it does to most of us.”

“I’ll take the excuse anyway,” Eddie commented with a grin.

“I had to ween Steve’s father off too much coffee,” his mom said, as Steve transferred the eggs to a plate and popped them in the oven before moving on to doing some toast. “Unfortunately, when one reaches a certain point in life, caffeine is not always best for one’s health.”

“Wayne had to cut back and add in tea a couple of years ago after a scare,” Eddie revealed. “Turns out six cups at breakfast can give a guy palpitations.”

“Steve’s father was at a similar level,” his mom revealed. “It started in college. I’m sure he ran on the stuff. Such fond memories, well mostly.”

“You met your husband in college then?” Eddie asked.

“Steve has heard this story many times before,” his mom replied, “but, yes, his father and I met while we were studying at the same school. And talking of adversity, we met at what, at the time, I thought was the darkest point in my life.”

“That sounds ominous,” Eddie commented.

Steve smiled to himself, his mom was right, he had heard this story before, so many times.

“Steve’s father found me sitting in the rain, crying my eyes out because I had just been spectacularly dumped,” his mom told Eddie. “I must have been a sight. I had been sure I was madly in love. We had come together from high school, following each other to the same college, only for me to have my heart broken in less than three months.”

“How utterly terrible,” Eddie said, dramatic as ever.

“It was,” Steve’s mom said, playing to her audience. “I was heartbroken, and Steve’s father was so sweet. He took me to my sorority and made sure I was taken care of. Then he came over the next day to make sure I was okay. We became firm friends.”

“Just friends?” Eddie asked.

“Yes, at the time he had a girlfriend,” his mom replied. “He was the most eligible bachelor on campus thanks to being a Harrington. I became very good friends with Marie, his girlfriend, as well. They helped me get over the breakup.”

“How is Aunt Marie?” Steve asked. “We haven’t seen her in ages.”

“She called just last month,” his mom replied. “She has a new show coming up in July. Apparently, she’s branched out into ceramics.”

“You’re still friends with your husband’s ex?” Eddie asked, clearly confused.

“Oh, sorry, I’m getting sidetracked,” his mom apologised. “Yes, it was an amicable split. I fell in love with David, and I was doing my very best to pretend I hadn’t because he was with Marie, but one day she came to me and told me she though David and I were a far better fit and she was going to let him down gently, so I should take my shot. Marie dropped out of college soon after, moved to San Francisco and became a successful artist. She was my maid of honour at my wedding.”

“Aww, love conquers all,” Eddie said with a dopy smile that made Steve’s heart skip a beat.

“Indeed,” his mom said, “and Marie is a shining example of how love is always right when you follow your heart.”

“So, she found her perfect match as well then?” Eddie asked, even as Steve froze where he was standing.

“She did,” his mom confirmed, “and they have been very happy for almost as long as David and I have.”

“That’s awesome,” Eddie said.

Steve turned slowly to look at his mom because he knew something Eddie didn’t. The way his mom met his eyes, giving him a warm smile, sent his heart thudding. He was pretty sure he knew what she was saying without actually saying it. He also realised he had been an oblivious idiot.

“They don’t just live together because they’re both artists,” he said as reality dawned.

“No,” his mom replied, even though it hadn’t been a question.

Eddie had a cute little crinkle in his forehead.

“I feel stupid,” Steve said.

“It’s what they let people believe,” his mom said kindly. “It’s safer that way.”

The crinkle became a deep grove in Eddie’s brow.

“Aunt Marie lives with Auntie Annie,” Steve put his boyfriend out of his misery.

He could literally see Eddie’s brain processing that piece of information.

“San Francisco,” Eddie whispered as if that made everything make sense.

Steve saw exactly when the rest of the implications of the conversation clicked in Eddie’s head. Those big brown eyes he loved so much seemed to get larger and Eddie appeared to forget how to breathe for a moment. Eddie’s gaze darted to Steve’s mom and then back to him several times. Given that Steve was feeling just as unmoored, he wasn’t very good at being reassuring.

He was almost sure his mom was trying to let him know she suspected what was going on between him and Eddie and it was okay. However, that was such a big concept with so many ramifications if he was wrong, he didn’t know what to do. The fact that they might have been so obvious in only a couple of days also worried him. Of course, his mom did know him very, very well.

His dad chose that moment to walk into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” his dad greeted.

“Morning,” his mom replied, walking over to give him a peck on the cheek and hand him a mug of coffee. “We were just talking about Marie and Annie.”

“It’s been too long since we’ve seen them,” his dad replied. “We should get round to arranging a visit. When was Marie’s exhibition again?”

“Not until July,” his mom replied. “I’m sure we can have things settled enough by then to make some time for a trip.”

And the conversation continued from there as if his mom hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Steve. Eddie was better at pretending than him, hiding behind his larger-than-life persona while Steve went back to getting breakfast ready. He had so much to think about.

End of Chapter 43

Chapter 44

[flovverworks]

rereading ch12 of pt1 cuz i wanted to find the rutile part but this line is SOOOOOOO akiras so funny

Akira: Shino, where are you going? The party hall is in the opposite direction..... Shino: I'm going home. Akira: Oh, I see, you're going ho... Huh!? W-wait! Please wait! He's gone already.... where did he go!?

mhyk comedy my beloved

but also akira realizing & stopping the potential of shino flying away by grabbing him so they could properly talk..T_^ shino & akiras relation is so precious to me. shino asking if its part of akiras job as sage to ask why hes feeling like that/what happened/why were they fighting, but akiras just genuinly wants to know. sages heart. aauururgghhh.... (also the added of shinos whole selfworth but thats another essay)

I can tell from his powerful gaze that he’s not pondering over whether to tell me; rather, he’s peering into my identity. Like a stray cat that’s trying to decide if it should approach you or ignore you and move on. And once those stray cats decide to come close to you, they fear nothing.

Shino gazes at me with the eyes of a child begging for a rainbow. I laugh and grasp his hand. Akira: You’re right..... Let’s defeat the < Great Catastrophe > and become heroes who save the world. Let’s build you a magnificent castle, Shino. Shino: Can we? Really? Akira: I’ll do my very best. I’ll become an amazing Sage so that everyone will hear out my wishes.

DO U GET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

i forgot the 'mixer' confusion happens at the party too skull emoji arthur......last sage u....

Faust: I’m headed out to take a break. My excuse is that I’m still recovering from my injuries. Nero: Yeah, sure — you mean you hate parties. Faust: I mean I hate this castle.

head in hands. essay about faust and alec

there it is

...

i have so much to say that i dont even know where to start let me make a separate figaro post one day cuz what in the actual hell

He graciously offers me his hand, but my nerves are still buzzing. Figaro’s words are seductive, and his smile, charming — I can tell that he’s trying to seem harmless. But there’s still something strangely terrifying about him: if I take his hand, I feel like I’m going to get swallowed whole.

Figaro: But I want to dance with you. Akira: ....Why....? Figaro: Because I want to make you my puppet. Figaro replies calmly with a smile. Figaro: The Sage keeps the wizards in the magic headquarters together. If I want him to do my bidding — don’t you think the fastest way to accomplish that would be to make him fall in love with me? Akira: What....? Figaro: Because when you fall in love, you can give up your heart to those you do not trust — and even to those you loathe. I’m asking you to join me in that act. ....How about it? Won’t you dance with me? I can’t believe my ears; he’s saying such horrific things in such a kind, sweet voice that it makes my head spin. I stare at Figaro in shock. He’s neither making a fool of me, nor is he trying to laugh at me. He just continues smiling with a kind, gentle gaze.

unreal conversation from start to finish. thinks of his june bride card too. god. also thinking about how akira almost gets trapped in it anyway despite recognizing that something is Very Very Wrong. beyond hilarious that figaro says all this and then falls in love first (joke)

but really that one figaro card about 'do you still hesitate to take my hand?' T____^ in general the way this convo happens and their relation turning into a very considerate toward e/o on both sides makes me. i cant explain it. its the careful thoughts & actions in caring for e/o without words.

Figaro looks like a hapless father as Mitile takes his hand and drags him away. He’s a completely different person from earlier.

LOOOOORRRRDDDDDD

Snow: I’m sorry, Sage. Figaro doesn’t mean to hurt you. White: He’s just a terrible person from his very core......

unwell

anyway unbelieveable how the source of everything no matter what is murr

Heathcliff: Please, I don’t quite see how the Northern wizards could be described as gentle. You must be talking about the Southern wizards. See, like Mister Rutile...... At that moment, the Southern wizard Rutile walks right up to Nicholas. Rutile: What do you mean by that!? Heathcliff: ............

THIS IS THE PAERT LMFAAOOOOO ITS SO FUNNY

Rutile: Then what are you? You, who did not even fight the < Great Catastrophe >? I believe that would make you less than useless, would it not?

god u r my everything go rutile go. i have no further comment this is just one of my favorite moments of all time i love the flores brothers. excellent characters

[yourmidnightlover]

never stop loving me

Summary - Spencer lashes out at y/n after being upset for a while, only to be far too harsh and push her away.

TW: mean spencer, swearing, bomb, injured reader, kissing

WC - 5,647

masterlist

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spencer had been acting weird lately.

and it wasn't his normal, quirky, adorable weird self. it was quiet. too quiet. he didn't ramble like he usually did when you brought anything up.

he was distant. he didn't sit beside you on the plane ride home, or hold your hand as you drove the both of you to your shared apartment.

you didn't want to push him to say anything he didn't want to, but you were getting worried. you rarely had to corner him into talking, but there was the occasional time where you knew he wouldn't get through whatever it was eating himself up until he spoke up and voiced the words in his mind.

so when you both entered the apartment, you hung your coat up on the hook and placed your bag beside the couch as you plopped down.

"spencer?" you asked quietly as he hung his coat up. he turned to face you as you began to pat the seat beside you, wanting him to sit down. he complied with a huff as you took note that he sat at nearly the other end of the couch.

"what?" he asked without looking at you, you could sense the attitude in his voice.

"i'm worried about you," you whispered. "can you open up? what's bothering you right now?" you moved closer to him and placed a hand on his lower thigh comfortingly.

"you're worried about me?" he spat out, looking at you incredulously. "i'm sure that's true," he scoffed sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he flicked your hand off his leg.

"spencer why would yo-" you started as you scooted closer to him on the couch.

"why would i what? why would i not believe you when you ask me that? you're a smart girl, y/n. figure it out," he nearly yelled at you as he began to get up from the couch. you grabbed his hand with both of yours, not wanting him to leave you like that.

"please, spence. i just need to kno-"

"you should be able to figure it out yourself!" he shouted. "and stop touching me! oh my god all you ever do is touch me! did you ever think that maybe something's wrong with you if you have to always be touching someone? god! just don't ever touch me! you're so annoying! what the hell is wrong with you?"

"i-i'm sorry. i didn't think it wa-" you started apologizing.

"exactly! you didn't think! you never think about anyone but yourself! you never stopped to think about how fucking uncomfortable you touching me is! i hate being near you. i can't do it," he started shaking his head as he ran his hands over his face.

"wh-what?" you asked as the teas you didn't know were gathering in your eyes began spilling down your cheeks.

"you heard me," he said as he started to turn around. "i'm just gonna sleep alone tonight," he started walking towards your bedroom.

"i'll sleep on the couch," you spoke up before he made it to the room, he stopped in his tracks. "your back's been hurting lately, and you're too tall to fit on the couch comfortably. i'll sleep on the couch," you whispered, partially afraid that he wouldn't be able to hear you, wiping at the tears.

"whatever," he said as he finished his journey into the bedroom, not bothering to look at you.

you wanted to wait until he was asleep to get any blankets or anything, so the only things going through your mind were his words to you.

what the hell is wrong with you?

i hate being near you...

just don't ever touch me!

you weren't sure what was bothering him this much, but if you knew anything about spencer it was that that man could hold a grudge.

when emily had 'come back from the dead' it was like it was a different kind of person. it wasn't the spencer you fell in love with and you knew it, but that doesn't excuse his words.

so, you did what anyone in your position would do. you gave him space. you dialed the number of a trusted friend and colleague, praying she would pick up.

"hello?" the groggy voice rang out from the phone speaker.

"hi," you meekly replied. "sorry, i know it's pretty late. i umm," you sniffled, "i just didn't know who else to call."

"what happened, y/n? are you hurt? is everything okay?" she asked worried.

"yea, yea. everything's okay," you sighed. "i think spencer might just need some space is all."

"ummm, okay. is there anything i can do?"

"actually, yea? i hate to ask you this or put you in a weird position, but i was wondering if i could stay with you for a while?" you rambled out.

"of course you can. do you even have to ask?" she replied quietly.

"oh my gosh, you're a lifesaver. i-it might not be for long, i'm not really sure," you began. "it might be until spencer is ready, o-or maybe until i umm," you sniffled again, "until i find my own place?"

"that's okay, honey. i promise," she answered sweetly.

"thank you so much. i owe you, em," you sighed as you wiped the tears from your cheeks.

"don't even worry about it, y/n. i'm glad you came to me. are you coming here tonight?"

"if you don't mind... i'm not sure if spencer would want to see me when he umm, when he wakes up," you nodded even though she couldn't see you.

"okay. i'll be waiting."

"alright. i'll probably leave in like half an hour. bye."

"bye," she replied before you hung up.

you snuck into your bedroom, and noticed how spencer was sleeping peacefully.

you had began as friends at the bureau. you didn't even think of him in a romantic way until he admitted his feelings after one drunk night out with the team. it was sweet, a bit sloppy, but sweet.

he kept rambling about how beautiful you were, and how good you smelt when you would lay your head on his shoulder to fall asleep or when you were cuddled up on your couch watching movies. he told you about how you made him feel like less of a weirdo when he would ramble about things he knew, just wanting to be liked by others.

he mentioned how he loved that he could come to you for anything at any time. he also told you about how he appreciated that when you met him, you didn't try to shake his hand. you knew how uncomfortable he was with touching a stranger and allowed him to make the first move. you let him be the one to cross the bridge that was physical touch because you were just that caring for others, and that's truly what he loved about you from the beginning.

then he said that he would never tell you how much he liked you because he never wanted those things to stop.

by that time, you had already driven him back to his place, and helped him into bed. he begged you to stay, so you obliged kindly and opted to take the couch. he told you to stay in the bed with him. he was the one to pull you closer onto his chest. he was the one to stroke you hair as you fell asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

he didn't even remember that night. he woke up with you in his arms, content with the warmth you provided him. he loved the way you instinctively curled into his chest even more.

you never brought it up.

then you realized that you felt the same for him on one of the later cases. you wanted to hold him while he cried, and rejoice with him when he had his wins. you wanted to hear his stupid rants about something as miniscule as sprinkles on a birthday cake. you wanted that closeness he graced you with. you just wanted him.

and now, as you picked a few more pieces of clothes to pack, you heard rustling coming from the sheets. you turned to see spencer now sitting up in bed, looking at you.

"...hi," you whispered with tight lips.

"what're you doing?" he asked. you couldn't tell what he was thinking since it was still dark.

"i'm umm, i was gonna stay with emily for a while," you said as you wiped the tears from your cheeks for the thousandth time. "i um, didn't think you'd want me to be here when you woke up," you nodded as you folded the clothes in your hands. "i was going to leave in about 20 minutes, so i'll be out soon," you felt your lip quivering.

you didn't want to cry in front of him. maybe it was that you wanted to have a sense of dignity, but if it came down to it you would bet that you just didn't want him to feel bad. even after he basically said he hated you.

because that's who you were.

you were a touchy person. that's how you show love to others. that's how others know you care for them.

but now he said he hated that about you.

he hated the way you would gently graze his hand with yours when you could tell he was upset. he hated the way you ran your hand through his hair when he was stressed. he hated the way you placed your hand on his shoulders when he was sad or frustrated.

he hated you.

and he just looked at you standing there. he didn't say anything. he looked at you as tears welled in your eyes from his words.

the words that felt like a burning blade being dragged along your spine. the words that felt like bile rising from your stomach.

"i'll just go now," you said as you ran out of the room and into the living room, not noticing the way that spencer followed you.

"hey," spencer spoke up as you piled the clothes into your go bag that was still beside the couch.

"yea?" you sniffled, not bothering to look at him while pulling on the sweater that was keeping you warm.

when you finally turned to see him he was looking at you with a blank expression. he was looking at the sweater you were wearing. you looked down at it, not remembering it was one of his he had let you worn during the case in north dakota. it was the one you wore when you realized your feelings for him, almost a month after he admitted them for you.

the one you wore when you shared your first kiss in the snow.

"oh," you said as you felt the tears build up again. "you... want it back?" you asked as the tear fell down your face, leaving a burning sensation that felt far better than what you felt inside.

he didn't say anything. you couldn't even see him since the tears were blinding you. so, you slowly unbuttoned the sweater and folded it nicely as you handed it to him.

"i-i'm sorry," you sniffled. "i didn't um - i didn't want to make you un-uncomfortable," you said as you zipped the bag up and grabbed your keys, heading to the door. "just know that i um, i love you."

and you were gone. you rushed out of the door. you didn't want to wait to see if he would tell you he loved you back, scared that you'd be waiting for a lifetime. so you ran to your car and drove off to emily's place, leaving spencer standing in the living room, frozen from what just happened.

but you couldn't see his heart breaking in return. he pulled his sweater up to his face and recognized the sweet scent of you on it that made him break down.

when he noticed how cold you were from the snow from forgetting your jacket at the hotel, he automatically gave you his. he didn't even care how cold he would get - just that you'd be a bit more comfortable.

he draped the sweater over your shoulders to help you put it on, and rubbed your arms for more friction to get you more warm. then, when you turned to look him in the face, you leaned in slowly and grabbed his face.

"can-is this okay?" you asked kindly.

he didn't even respond. he just connected his lips with yours after giving you the brightest smile. he relished in the moment of feeling content, whole, peace. you.

and now you gave him back that very sweater.

in reality, he was looking at the sweater you were wearing as a sign of hope. he thought that maybe since you were still wearing it, he hadn't completely squandered his chance of forgiveness with you.

but you gave him his sweater back with tears in your eyes.

he made you cry.

he drove you away.

when emily answered the door, you broke down in her arms, which was quite the role-reversal.

you were always the one to comfort the other team members. you never really went to anyone for help, you never wanted to burden them with your problems when they all had lives. you just wanted to help them. that's just how selfless you were.

"i'm here, y/n," emily consoled you. "let it out, sweetie. that's it," she stroked you hair as she led the two of you to the couch so you could cry in her arms.

when you finally calmed down a little bit, you started apologizing.

"i'm so sorry. i know it's really late, i just didn't know who else to go to and i'm just so..." you sniffled.

"don't worry about it. i'm glad you came to me. now, care to tell me what happened?"

so you told her. everything.

okay, so you made him seem like less of a douche bag, but you told her. you just tried to explain to her his side of the story, trying to be more understanding.

"and you feel bad? you aren't mad at him?" she questioned in disbelief.

"yea, of course i feel bad. being myself has made him uncomfortable, em. how could i be mad at him when i'm so hopelessly in love with him?" you asked in question.

"oh, sweetheart," she said as she pulled you back into a hug.

she had a plan.

okay, it wasn't much of a plan.

it was more of just chewing him out.

but she knew that would work.

because she also knew how much he loved you. and she knew there had to be a reason he was treating you like that.

the next day you had gotten called in at 4 a. m. with a new case. you drove to the office with emily and walked in behind her. once you saw spencer sitting at the round table in his normal seat beside yours, you felt a kind of rage boil inside of you.

he was just sitting there with a gloom look on his face, not trying to apologize for what he had said to you or anything. you'd thought that maybe he'd even look at you by now but he hasn't even noticed your presence. nothing.

you huffed, walking over to sit in a chair you normally wouldn't be in. spencer finally turned to see it was you who sat down, so you looked him up and down before turning your eyes towards hotch who was giving you all the briefing.

there was a bomber in charleston, california. he would send bomb to local corporations that had a history of animal testing. He was essentially trying to rid the world of those who harm animals, which is quite ironic since that involved killing humans.

each of the buildings were two stories, yet the bomb didn't level it. that's how you knew the bomb was meant to send a message rather than kill more people.

so until his message was spread and out in the open for all people, he'd continue to kill people without hesitation. human life wasn't valuable to him, so it was your job to stop him.

once you had gotten to california, you had all been divided into teams. you went with morgan and spencer to the most recent bomb site to analyze anything they might've missed.

the entire scene smelled like burnt papers, no surprise there. aside from the fact that people had previously died where you were standing, the tension in the air was so thick it felt as though the smoke had remained from the explosion.

you had avoided spencer, tried to talk to him as little as possible when you had to. unless it was for the case, you didn't speak. until hotch decided to room the two of you together.

you had asked the girls if you could room with them, only for them to refuse and make you 'work things out with your beau.' so essentially, you were screwed.

you trudged into the room before spencer had made it, being sure to lock the door behind you just to annoy spencer. was it petty? sure. did he deserve it? yes. would you apologize? absolutely not.

once you turned around, you realized there was only one bed. of course hotch would do that. what a dick. you sighed before placing your things on the couch, deciding that spencer's back pain is completely different than being temporarily locked out of your room. you were truly doing it for yourself so you wouldn't have to hear him complain the next day about his back hurting.

after you had gotten out of the shower, your body in only a small towel, you heard the door knock. you knew it was spencer, his signature knock giving it away, and decided you could open it for him. when he realized you were practically naked and everyone had a view of you from the hallway, he quickly pushed you further inside along with himself and slammed the door shut.

"what the hell, y/n?" he whisper-yelled at you, gesturing to what you were wearing. "anybody could've seen you and you're practically naked!"

"and?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "i don't see why you should have any say so in what i'm wearing."

"you're wearing a towel," he stated as if you hadn't already known.

"and?" you shrugged. "is my body making you uncomfortable? is that why you don't want to touch me, spencer?" you rolled your eyes before turning to get your clothes from your suitcase.

you decided to just strip right in front of him, just to tease him a bit more. you slowly slid the towel down your body, your back still towards spencer as you shimmied into your shorts that barely covered anything. you turned around to get your shirt, revealing your bare chest to spencer who stood in awe of what was happening in front of him. you put your thin shirt on tantalizingly slow, aware that he could probably see your nipples through the fabric, but that was the entire point.

spencer walked over to you slowly, you smiled at him happily as he approached you. when he brought his hands up to cup your face gently, you swatted his hands away from you.

"ah-ahh," you shook your head no. "there's no touching allowed," you rolled your eyes one last time before getting comfortable on the couch, pulling the one extra blanket in the room over your body in an attempt to keep warm.

as the minutes turned into an hour, you felt yourself becoming more upset. his words, even if he didn't mean them, had an impact on you. he couldn't just unsay the words or take them back, that's not how it works. instead, he made you live with the thought and constant worry that you made him uncomfortable by touching him.

and that pained you. that pain turned into tears, which ensued sniffling because of your runny nose. and your tears and sniffles pained spencer even more. he listened in wait as you cried yourself to sleep once more, the sniffled slowing down which told him of your slumber.

when you woke up, you had realized you were awake before spencer. you quickly got ready and made your way downstairs to retrieve some mediocre coffee. deciding to not be a complete asshole, you got spencer his own cup as well just how he liked it and placed it on the bedside table for when he would wake up.

when he did wake up, it was to the smell of coffee beside him. he had obviously realized you had gotten it for him, he wasn't a complete idiot other than the fact that he had hurt you in the first place. when he took a sip of it, it was just as he liked it.

of course it was, he thought, it's you.

since there were so many animal activists that were recorded online, you couldn't really narrow down the suspect range. once you had all made it back to the precinct that morning, they had widdled down all the companies that have ever used testing on animals. there were four companies in total, so you would all split up and investigate each one.

you, of course, had been paired with spencer once again. it was obviously the rest of the team conspiring to get you two to make up, but he hadn't even apologized. and you refused to make the first move.

so as you drove to the company you had been assigned, there was yet again that irritable tension in the air that made it seem like someone could choke on it. you pulled into the parking lot and got out as quickly as you could.

making your way inside, you asked where the owner of the company was while flashing your badge, spencer making his way inside just in time to catch where you were going and follow.

"hi, ma'am," you introduced yourself, extending your hand for her to shake. "i'm here in regards for the-"

"recent bombings? yes, i figured you would be," barbara cooke sighed as she released your hand.

"yes, i'm agent y/n yl/n/ and this is dr. spencer reid," you motioned to him as he gave her an awkward wave. "we were wondering if you've received any recent threats concerning your history in-"

"animal testing? we get those all the time, agent... what was it again?" she asked disrespectfully.

"y/l/n," you informed her once again.

"right, well we get those too often for it to be significant. in fact, we get those almost weekly," she rolled her eyes before turning back to the computer on her desk.

"ma'am, if you wouldn't mind just trying to think of a threat that stuck out to you. one in particular that made it seem as though they might follow through?" spencer asked kindly.

"i actually do mind. i have a company to run and don't need to waste my time on something that won't ever affect me. so please, see yourselves out," she motioned to the door with a sigh.

you and spencer looked at each other before turning around and leaving her office. instead, you decided to ask the employees if they saw anyone that seemed as though they were landscaping the office.

"no, not really. i'm too busy trying to finish the work cooke gives me."

"i'm sorry, no. i try to just ind my own business around here."

"i'm sorry, there have been bombings?"

there wasn't much luck.

you were making your rounds right back to the front of the office, asking nearly everyone that you passed if they noticed anyone suspicious until you noticed a mailman near the front of the room.

he was dressed in an all-brown outfit, but with no logo of what company he worked for. not even a hat to display the name. all the companies that delivered had company logos displayed on the outfits, just to display for publicity.

when you looked around at who was near you, your eyes locked on spencer who was walking towards you, his head down. once you saw the mailman walk out of the office and saw the lady at the front desk begin to open the tape, you grabbed spencer by the arm.

it all happened so quickly.

you pushed spencer out of the door and locked it, blocking him from the blast that would surely ensue, and ran as quick as you could to drag the woman away from the box. you shielded her with your body, turning your back to where the bomb would go off to lessen the impact on her body. before you could even register what happened, you were pushed into the wall cati-corner the desk, knocking you unconscious.

-

spencer didn't know what was happening until he heard the bomb.

he assumed the blast wasn't as intense as it was previously by the fact that the second story was still standing. the blast from the other bombs at least made a bit of a dent in the second story.

in an instant, he realized that he might've lost you forever. the love of his life. gone.

and you were still mad at him. you hated him. you thought he hated you.

once he was able to form a coherent thought, he pulled his phone out and called 911, being sure to tell them there was a possible agent down in an explosion. once he hung up, he mustered up his inner derek morgan and kicked the doors in, it helped that they were already frail due to the explosion.

with the doors now open, smoke flowed out of the now open space, looking for an escape as spencer was looking for his love. all he could hear were coughs and whines of the employees around him. then he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked to see the face of the lady from the front desk.

"she-she saved me," the woman told spencer in reference to you. "she's over here," spencer helped her navigate himself to where your body lay limp on the ground, drywall covering your face and body.

"oh my god, y/n," he called as he moved the rubbish from your body before looking for a pulse.

he found himself whispering a series of pleas that you were okay, that he would find the pulse in your neck or wrist. that he would feel the warmth off your body against his, be able to touch your skin and have you grab his hand when you were nervous. he wanted you to never stop touching him.

because ever since you had joined the bureau, you had been a touchy person. you were the person people went to when they needed comfort because they wanted a hug. you were the person the team counted on when comforting the mothers or children because you had a comforting touch.

and he wanted that comfort. he needed that comfort right then. but the one person he needed the comfort from didn't think he wanted it from them. you didn't think he wanted you anymore.

so you had to be okay. because he couldn't imagine a world where you weren't his, which sounds so cliche but couldn't be any more true.

ever since you waltzed into his life, he could never remember what it was like without you. what it was like without your hand running through his soft hair. without your hand on his knee underneath the bau table during a meeting. without your face buried in his neck while you were cuddling at night. without your kiss...

without you.

he needed you.

and he found the small, faint, minuscule pulse that beat throughout your body. a gentle but safe way to know you were alive and still with him. maybe you'd still want to be with him.

when the ambulance arrived, he didn't hesitate to hop in the back of the van, opting to call the team to inform them of what happened.

they had put an oxygen mask on you to ensure your safety and had told him that you had a concussion from the blast. they would do further tests once they got to the hospital, which felt like it took forever, according to spencer.

once they had wheeled you away, spencer sat in wait once again. the team slowly trickled in, trying to comfort spencer but ultimately failing. when the doctor finally came in, spencer was the first to jump up and ask how you were.

"she'll make a full recovery, she's rather lucky," he nodded at spencer before checking his chart. "she has three bruised ribs and a minor concussion. she'll be able to fly in a couple of days, but will have to stay out of the field until her ribs are fully healed. she shouldn't be doing any strenuous activities until then as well," he informed the doctor. "other than that she's healthy as a horse."

"thank you. can i see her now?" spencer asked eagerly.

"yes, of course," he nodded before turning around. "right this way."

when spencer came into your room, your eyes were barely open. it looked like you were struggling to stay awake. your face and arms were littered with an occasional bruise, which he's sure were worse on your stomach and legs. your skin was a bit paler than usual, it didn't have that glow you normally had, that liveliness.

but you still looked like you. you still looked beautiful.

spencer took the seat beside your bed and moved it closer to you, taking your hand in his before you snatched it away, turning on your side to face the wall opposite of where spencer sat.

"y/n, please..." spencer pleaded, feeling his eyes well with tears. he thought you were just angry at him until he heard your soft sniffles. "darling, please look at me," he placed his hand on your shoulder, gently pulling you back to face him. you turned yourself back around to face him, eyes red and swollen as your lip was quivering.

"what?" you spat out, trying to maintain your own composure until you saw he was crying himself. you raised your brows in shock before asking him, "what's wrong?"

he laughed, "you're asking me what's wrong?" you nodded. "i'm just so, so sorry i'm sorry i said all those things about you. i'm sorry it took you almost dying for me to apologize. and i'm sorry for ever making you feel like i didn't love you, y/n. i love you so much. every part of you, your touch included. it's anything but annoying. it's comforting, and sweet, and calming, and does so much more to help me than it does hurt or annoy me," he took your hand in his once more, placing a kiss to your knuckles. "i love you so much and i'm so sorry."

"and i'm sorry i had to touch you to push you out of the way of an explosion," you rolled your eyes with a chuckle so he knew you were joking.

"thanks for that, by the way - saving me," he shrugged. "which brings me to my next point... do you know how reckless that was? how dangerous and stupid and how you could have died? because you could have died and if you died i don't know what i'd do with myself. especially knowing you were mad at me when you died," he held your hand to his chest so you could feel how his heart broke in those moments he didn't know if you were alive. the moments he thought he might've lost you forever.

"but i'm alive. i'm right here," you assured him, bringing his hand to your lips this time to press a kiss before holding the one with both of yours. "why'd you say those things anyway? why were you so upset?"

"well remember the officer that was on the case?" you nodded. "remember how he kept touching you?" you rolled your eyes with a nod.

"god, it was so annoying," you interjected.

"well it didn't seem like you thought it was annoying," he avoided eye contact with you, you pulled his arm to get his attention once again.

"are you saying you thought i wanted him to be so handsy?" you questioned, he nodded guiltily. "spencer, are you kidding?" you chuckled. "i had to do that because if he knew i hated him he wouldn't have been so cooperative. i promise, you are the only one for me. you're the only one i want to touch me like that. but that doesn't excuse you talking to me like that. you saying those things hurt me, a lot."

"i know, i know they did... and i plan on making it up to you. i will make it up to you, i swear," he nodded along eagerly.

"yea, you better dr. reid. i'm holding you to that," you huffed out a laugh, spencer following suit as he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead.

then to your nose. then right and left cheeks. then your lips. it wasn't a kiss that demanded anything. it wasn't hostile or passionate. it was content. it was a way of showing you love and saying that your love was enough. that you were enough.

"i love you, spencer," you whispered as he pressed his forehead against yours.

"and i love you, y/n," he whispered back. "please never stop loving me the way you do."

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[alj4890]

Angst Prompt

Dawn’s Early Light

(Part Three to One Fateful Night)

As requested by many of you.

(Liam x OC) in a one shot continuation of the angsty One Fateful Night.

A/N Here's some happiness to the angst so many sent messages about. I know it is still bittersweet in a way, with Riley being dead and all, but I think it gives our favorite prince a chance to find true love after all. On another note, I had at one time considered Liam meeting someone in Washington D.C. in another story where Riley died the night of the Homecoming Ball in Book 2. I guess this makes up for deleting it and never posting, LOL.

Part 2 The Dark Before the Dawn

 @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @yourmajesty09   @gkittylove99 @krsnlove   @mom2000aggie @twinkleallnight @lodberg @sweatyrysconnoisseur ​ @motorcitymademadame ​

Masterlist

Dawn’s Early Light

Somewhere in Maryland...

"Sir?"

Liam grimaced at the voice coming through loud and clear from his cell phone. The one time he convinced Bastien that he could travel on his own and the man still made certain to call every hour.

"Yes?" He huffed.

"Your current location?"

"That at the moment is a little difficult to pinpoint." Liam squinted through the pouring rain. "One of the roads was flooded and the numerous detours have sent me further east of D.C."

He could hear frantic mutterings in the background, papers shifting and clicks from computers.

"Pull over and we will try to locate you." Bastien ordered.

Liam looked about at the flour lane highway, barely able to see five feet ahead of him. "There isn't a spot to do so. I'll call once I find a safe place."

"Your majesty," he could hear the frustration in his Head of the King's Guards' voice, "this is why I insisted we fly down together."

"And I knew this was my last chance to take a road trip of sorts." Liam countered. "You worry too much, Bastien."

"And you don't worry enough." Bastien muttered. "If you haven't found a place within the next hour, I am coming to find you."

"Make sure to bring a rowboat." Liam teased. "That's probably the best way to travel here."

His jest was met with silence.

"Bastien?" Liam glanced down at his phone and saw the call had dropped. Tossing it back in the passenger seat, he continued on down the road.

*****************

Outside of Annapolis...

"No!" Autumn pleaded when her tire burst. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Pulling over onto the shoulder of the highway, she tried to call her parents.

"Gee, thanks for no bars." She grumbled, chucking her phone back into her purse.

Reaching for her coat she prepared herself mentally to change her own tire.

Why did Dad have to make it so boring? He knew I wouldn't pay attention!

It had been ten years since she had sat through that lesson, day dreaming of the cute guy who sat next to her in chemistry class.

And just like her lack of luck with Mr. Chemistry, she was about to fail miserably with her tire.

She pulled the flashlight and tools out her father insisted she keep in her vehicle at all times and stepped out into the rainstorm.

"Any creepy serial killers out there," she yelled towards the darkened woods that lined the highway, "now is NOT the time to mess with me!"

She paused in removing the jack from her trunk. "That goes for any wild animals unless you're the helpful kind from fairy tales."

She snorted at her own joke as she set reflectors along the road. "And if you know of any princes, do send them my way."

"Alright car, you and I have been through it." She patted it's side. "All the snow storms in Pennsylvania. New jobs. New apartments. Ex boyfriends." She knelt by the flat tire. "Let's get through this and I'll treat you to a tank of premium gas."

She removed the hubcap and blinked when a pair of bright headlights pulled up behind her.

"Didn't I specifically demand no serial killers?" She muttered to herself as she saw the silhouette of a man start walking her way.

"Pardon me?" A cultured voice called out. "Are you in need of any assistance?"

She lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the light. "I wouldn't say no to some help."

Her mystery person stopped a couple of feet away from her and studied her tire.

"Where's the jack?"

She handed it to him and watched as he expertly began to raise the back end up.

"Here's the tool kit." She handed it over, discreetly keeping a screwdriver in her hand in case he was a psycho.

"I hate to keep you out in the rain, but could you shine your flashlight here so I can remove the lug nuts?"

"Right. Of course." She dutifully lifted it where he directed.

"Perfect." He turned to smile at her. "Thank you."

She blinked at how handsome he was. "I, no problem. I should be thanking you."

"My pleasure." He looked around. "I don't suppose you know where we are, do you?"

Oh no. A hot psycho. Just my luck.

"Um, don't you know?" She took a cautious step back.

"I've never been in this part of America before." He explained, unaware of her trepidation. "I lost GPS about two hours ago."

"Oh." She relaxed and stepped closer. "We're about forty-five minutes from Annapolis.

"How far is that from D.C.?" He asked.

"About forty minutes or so depending on traffic." She tilted her head. "Let me guess. You're a politician or aide of some sort."

He chuckled. "Not really."

"You certainly don't sound like the men in Washington."

"Oh? And how do they sound?"

"Arrogant jerks. Every last one of them. Even the mailroom guys act like they rule the world." Her nose wrinkled.

"Ah." Her handsome stranger removed her flat tire and placed the spare on. "Not fond of men in power, I take it."

"Not really." She squatted next to him, hoping she would remember his actions in case she had another flat tire some time in the future. "I guess there's bound to be one man out there who actually wants to serve the people instead of having them serve him."

"I see." He glanced over at her. "I like to think there are honest rulers out there."

Her brow furrowed. "Rulers?" She studied his profile. "You're not American, are you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Where are you from?" Her eyes narrowed in thought. "Your accent is hard to place."

"Cordonia" he grunted as he tightened the lug nuts. "Have you heard of it?"

"It sounds familiar." She muttered.

"It is a tiny but beautiful country in Europe." He explained.

"Isn’t every European nation?” She teased. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of of one that I would turn down a vacation to.”

He began to lower her car back down with the jack. "All done."

"I don't know how to thank you." She pushed her wet hair back, wondering how horrible she must look as she picked up the safety reflectors

"No need." He smiled warmly. "Have a good evening, my lady." With an instinctive bow, he turned and walked back to his own car.

"My lady?" Her lips quirked with humor. Perhaps the fairy tale animals had sent her a prince. "Hey! Wait!"

He paused with his car door open. "Yes?"

"There's an all night diner a few miles ahead." She took a deep breath. "Would you like to follow me there? We could dry off and I could buy you a piece of pie as a thank you."

Her hero's smile grew brighter. "I'd like that. Lead the way."

********************

"I'm Autumn." She held her hand out as they waited to be seated.

"A pleasure to meet you. My name is Liam." He took her hand and bowed over it.

"Is that how people greet one another in Cordonia?" She asked.

"It is the norm from where I grew up." He responded with a sheepish grin.

He shook her hand. "Is that better?"

"Your way was fine." She glanced down at their clasped hands. "I just feel a little under dressed for such a proper greeting."

"Nonsense." Liam continued to hold her hand. "A little water logged perhaps, but lovely nonetheless."

Her lips parted in surprise.

"Just the two of you?"

The pair turned toward a waitress.

"Yes." Autumn replied. "Just us."

"Follow me." She sat them at a table and handed over some menus. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Coffee, please." Autumn replied.

"I'll have the same." Liam added.

"Coming right up."

*********************

"Autumn?" Liam tested her name. "Were you given that name due to being born in the fall?"

She shook her head. "My parents have a warped sense of humor. I was born in April."

He laughed causing her to smile once more.

She thought his laughter had such a warm encompassing sound that made her want to hear it often as she could.

"They also wanted to have their kids' initials for Pennsylvania." She rolled her eyes. "My older brother, Patrick, took care of the P while I completed it with an A." Her own laughter bubbled out. "Then my unplanned younger brother was born and threw those initials out the door."

"What did they name him?" Liam asked.

"August, since he was born in January. Being that he was a surprise, they went with another A name to have an, aaahhh, moment at the end of P.A.."

Liam shook with his laughter over her parents. "They sound delightful."

"They sound that way," she teased, "but when you live with them..." Her smile softened. "They really are great parents and my brothers aren't too bad either."

"I have an older brother." He told her. "Leo and I were never as close as I wished we could have been. He spends so much time traveling and exploring the world that I don't have the heart to pressure him into coming home more often." A sadness came over him. "I've never seen him so happy as when he sends me pictures from his latest adventure."

"He's a wandering soul." She added.

"Precisely." Liam refocused on her. "And a wanderer withers and dies if tied down."

"What about your parents?" She asked.

"My mother died when I was very young and my father passed away about five years ago." He explained. "I'm close to my stepmother, Regina. She and Leo are all I have left for family."

"I'm sorry." Autumn mumbled. "I didn't mean to dredge up painful--"

Her breath caught when he laid his hand over hers. She thought she could actually feel herself getting lost in his blue eyes...which was something she teased her friends over every time they mentioned something like that. Yet here she was, finding herself falling for a man who changed her tire in the rain.

He gently squeezed her fingers. "Nothing to apologize for. I miss them but I am done grieving."

As their waitress brought them a fresh pot of coffee, Liam realized how true that statement was. He was done grieving for all of his lost loved ones.

******************

"Now then." Liam looked up from his menu. "Do you work in Washington?"

"I do." She replied. "Not in a political aspect though."

"What do you do?" He asked.

"I'm an archivist at the National Air and Space Museum."

His expression brightened with interest. "I've always wanted to visit the Smithsonian. To work and preserve the very fabric of your nation's history must be fascinating."

"It is!" She leaned forward as she became more animated about her work.

Deciding to prolong this conversation, the two ordered a meal before indulging in pie.

Liam listened, asking questions that only made her more excited in sharing this piece of her life.

It was rare for Autumn to find anyone interested in what she did.

"Right now, my team is working on digitizing everything we have on rocket tests during the 1950's." She explained. "Reading through the vast paperwork, various film and photographs, all audio recordings; I get to sift through every bit of it for our records."

"I once assisted an archivist at the palace library." Liam told her. "I discovered long ago manuscripts and journals in a hidden nook." His smile softened at the memory. "It was all by accident. My best friend and I were playing in one of the ballrooms when the soccer ball we were kicking around struck a piece of the baseboards, causing a hidden door to open."

Autumn's eyes widened. "It's a wonder you didn't get in trouble with the palace curators. They do not appreciate anyone playing around the exhibits."

Liam chuckled. "I was lucky the curators were fond of me."

"You knew them?" She asked. "Were they family members?"

"They aren't family, but I did know them." He replied, being deliberately mysterious about who he was.

He hadn't had a normal conversation in years. When she didn't recognize him, he felt a lightness he had felt on that long ago night in New York. He had forgotten how it was, how it made him feel. So often, people said the things they thought he wanted to hear. He missed the back and forth of sharing personal tidbits.

Autumn grimaced when she realized she had basically dominated the conversation for nearly an hour.

"Enough about my work," she smiled at him, "what do you do? Did you come here for business or to finally see the Smithsonian?"

He chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee. "As much as I would prefer spending my days wandering through museums, I am here to meet with government officials."

Her nose wrinkled. "I’m sorry. I do not envy you for that." Her eyebrow lifted. "What's the government like in Cordonia? Do you have a prime minister or something similar to our president?"

"We are a constitutional monarchy with the king as the Head of State." He explained.

"I see. Then you work in some capacity for him?" She continued. "You must to be here for meetings."

Liam lowered his eyes. "I suppose you could say that."

"So what's your job title?" She persisted. "Are you a member of the house of lords or whatever you have? Aide to the king?"

"I have a higher position than anything like that." He hedged. "Which is why I'm the only one to attend these meeting the next couple of weeks."

Her brow furrowed. "The king doesn't handle stuff like that?"

"He does which is why I'm here." He focused on her eyes. "The king is the only one to handle the approval for trade agreements and maintaining friendly relations with other countries."

"Then why isn’t he..." She burst into laughter. "You really had me going there for a moment." She shook her head at him. "Nice try, but no king travels alone on highways in a Nissan Altima."

"I do when I want to appear a regular man." He explained.

"Because isn't that royalty is all about?" She giggled some more. "Living life as a middle class man."

"I'm sincere." He argued. "I really am the King of Cordonia."

Her laughter died. "And just when I thought you weren't mentally unhinged." She sighed while picking at her piece of blueberry pie. "I knew you were too good to be true. No man can be both selfless and handsome without a few screws loose."

Liam's elation she found him attractive caught him by surprise. It wasn't that other women had not said similar to him at various functions. It was that he actually felt attracted to her too.

"I can prove I'm the king."

"How long have you believed you were king?" She asked. "Any chance you've thought you were someone else at one time? Napoleon Bonaparte? King Tut?"

He snorted on his laughter. "I've been king for over six years now. The rest of my life was spent as a prince."

"Uh huh." She poured them each another cup of coffee. "Guess that explains why you weren't banned from the palace for playing soccer."

"It is my home." He pointed out.

"Sure it is." She patted his hand. "And I'm sure you're the best king out there who knows how to change a tire."

"I only know because my best friend taught me." Liam explained. "He was one of the few people in my life who did not allow me to become a spoiled prince."

"Right." She smiled at him. "It's been great and all." She reached into her purse for her wallet. "And I do thank you so much for your help with the flat tire, but I should go."

"You don't believe me?" He asked.

"I believe you believe it." She said cautiously.

Liam quickly pulled his phone out and handed it to her. "Look up Cordonia."

"Just because you think you're a king doesn't mean you can order me around." Her eyes narrowed in warning. "Besides, I wouldn't use your phone. You'd probably have me looking at some doctored photos of yourself."

"Forgive me I didn’t mean to make it sound like a command." Liam ran a hand through his hair. "I've never met anyone who didn't believe I am who I say."

"First time for e everything, huh?" She hesitated when she saw his disappointment. "Fine." She searched for her phone. "I'll play along if you find our waitress. I'm going to need more pie as I research you."

He grinned while doing as she asked.

Autumn wandered of it was because it was the middle of the night that made her sit here with some guy claiming to be--

"No!" Her eyes darted from the images of King Liam of Cordonia to the Liam sitting at her table. "You're really a king?!"

"Would you care for another slice of blueberry or a different type of pie?" He asked with a bright smile.

"Blueberry." Her jaw was still dropped.

"Another slice of blueberry please for the lady and I'll have a slice of apple."

"Why on earth are you traveling lone highways in Maryland?" She asked when their waitress left.

"I flew in to New York for a few meetings with U.N. representatives. Our representative is new to her job and I wanted to encourage her." He explained. "Then I suppose I caught a bit of wanderlust from my brother and wanted to drive down to D.C." He took a bite of his new slice of pie. "It's rare I am able to convince my security team to let me out of their sight, but there are times when I like to be alone with my thoughts."

"I guess you have a lot of people demanding your time." She conceded.

"I do, which is why I make time for the people and activities that are important to me." He looked up at her. "Experience has taught me how fleeting time can be and we should make the most of every moment we are given."

"I like that." She cut into her slice with her fork while scrolling through images of Cordonia. "A lot of people get so easily wrapped up in their work and don't realize that they are missing out on so much more."

"Are you one of those people?"

Autumn paused chewing to consider his question. "Sometimes. I can get so wrapped up in a project and shut out the world going on around me." She shrugged. "Then something happens to shake me back to reality."

Liam grinned when it hit him that his being confirmed king had not changed the way she spoke to him.

As if reading his thoughts, her fork clattered on her plate. "I can't believe you really are a king." Her head tilted as she studied him. "You really don't act like how I imagine one would."

Liam folded his arms on the table and leaned forward. His bright blue eyes held her gray ones. "How should I act?"

She snorted. "For one thing you wouldn't have stood out in the pouring rain to change a tire."

"Aren't fairy tales filled with princes rescuing damsel in distress?" He countered.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It isn't like you slayed a dragon."

"According to your imagination, what should I have done in that situation?" He countered, delighted with her not putting him on a pedestal.

"First off, if you were on a," she made quotation marks with her fingers, "road trip, you'd probably be in a limo since your private jet is tucked away in a hangar somewhere."

"But then I would have a driver and thus not able to be alone." He reminded her.

"True." She propped her chin on her hand and smiled. "We'll forget the car then since you are chivalrous and in need of a break." She gestured with her free hand around the diner. "A king wouldn't come her, happily order food, nor be willing to sit here for hours listening to some girl talk about museums."

"Why not?" Liam asked. "He could have been hungry since he had been lost for a while."

"I guess that's a reasonable possibility." Autumn muttered.

"And if he wanted to know more about the damsel he rescued, then shouldn't he be at least willing to remain here with her?"

"Maybe." She forced herself to look away from him. "Then again, maybe this is a night for things out to the ordinary to happen." She asked their waitress for their check.

Autumn shushed his arguments, insisting on paying for his meal.

At that moment, Bastien and some guards walked in.

Liam's eyes widened. "Bastien? How did you find me?"

"We have a tracker on your phone, your majesty." He explained. "We really need to get you to Washington. You have an early morning of..."

Liam tuned him out and focused once more on the lady he had met tonight.

"It's my fault." Autumn spoke up. "I wanted to thank Liam with some pie for his help earlier."

She stood up and held her hand out. “Thank you again for helping me.”

Liam pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Autumn."

"I..." She could feel her entire body blush with that simple touch. "I'm happy to have met you too, Liam." She grimaced. "I mean, your majesty. Should I curtsy?"

He chuckled. "Just Liam with no curtsey is fine."

"Liam no curtsey." She winked at him. "Nice name for a king." Nodding farewell toward his guards, she slipped out of the restaurant.

Liam watched her drive off from one of the windows.

He wondered if he had just met the one.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Tell me if I'm being crazy here but I was just wondering if you feel like the Ogata in the anime is an inaccurate representation of the Ogata we get in the manga? And if you feel the same as me why may that be? I really can't nail it but it's bothering me watching him in it. Like they missed the point of his character.

Well...

...in itself all the characters are inaccurately represented in the anime.

There are some problems that come with the anime adaptation:

- the first is not really a fault of who creates the anime, merely a consequence of the anime being a different medium. As a result some things can’t be delivered in the same way as the manga.

For example this is one of the spread pages in which Noda plays with the contrast between what happens in one half and what happens in the other half.

On one side we’ve Sugimoto and Asirpa eating warm food together, safe and happy, on the other we’ve Ogata being shown alone (although we know there’s people around him) about to freeze to death and in a poor shape.

You can’t just get the same effect on the anime.

We see a similar trick also used in a scene that seems to foreshadow the ‘cat alliance’. In this three panel we see Edogai’s cat and then, below his panel, two panel showing Wildcat Ogata and Tiget Kiroranke exchanging a nod as they turn at the same time.

You just can’t get the same effect in the anime but the anime didn’t even made an effort as it didn’t show the cat falling on the ground (or better, it’ll show it but later on) but just Ogata first and Kiro after, both clearly looking at Hijikata without turning, Ogata’s expression different from the original (change of expressions is a point in which I’ll dig later).

...and the same goes for other ‘manga only’ ways to show things. For example the manga can use a swirling shade to imply that Ogata is actually in turmoil despite looking calm on the outside.

The anime wouldn’t be able to do such thing without making the draws looking weird. Of course some anime would find different ways to drive home the same concept (from a certain music to moving the whole swirling to the background or things like that)... but Geno tends to miss those details.

Anyway this might seems minor, many believe they don’t notice this sort of details... but actually most of those details are meant to pass below your conscious radar, and give you a determinate feeling without you quite realizing it. They shape the background of your opinion on the characters or of their relations or of the themes of the story.

- another problem is something for which the adaptation can be partly blamed and it’s the matter of cutting scenes. We should probably split the anime adaptation into the three series because they had different fates.

A premise. Out of late anime series have started being created for being 12 episodes series for commercial reasons. I won’t get into details on the why but this affected GK as all its series are 12 episodes and, to fit all the amount they decided to fit in 12 episodes, cutting scenes was mandatory in many cases. You just wouldn’t manage to put everything in them.

Plus, many anime series aren’t created to cover the whole storyline but just a part of it, using the anime series merely as a way to promote the manga (and likely, originally GK was planned to be a mere 12 episodes series).

Now, in GK case...

The first series adapted most of the story. There were however some relevant cuts that affected the series, the main one being how they completely removed Umeko from the plot something that hugely affected Sugimoto’s characterization but also, will come to bite back in future series with the result it’ll affect Sugimoto and Asirpa. Another notable cut was the Barato arc. They recovered it in the OAD, but if you don’t watch the OAD but just the anime, you’ve a great hole in the plot development. If the series has stopped at 12 episodes and had been merely a promotional mean for the story it wouldn’t have been a big deal but we know ultimately it continued. I would also say in some points it felt a bit rushed... but again, it could have worked for a promotional series... while it feels pretty bad for an ongoing one.

The second series was... a mess. It cuts left and right without really paying care to connect well the various parts of the story. Parts of the cuts had a reason to be, as some scenes seemed hard to transpose in an anime (think Anehata), others though were just cut so that they would fit in the 12 episodes quota all the plot that was missing to cover the story up till Abashiri, when the series would have benefitted greatly if they had stopped sooner instead than making a mad rush for Abashiri that translated in a cutting fest. They then recovered the Shiraishi arc, the giant snake arc, the boss Wakayama arc, the Anehata arc in 3 OAD (but we still miss the Lighting bandit arc and the fake Ainu arc), but it’s worth to mention some of whose OAD clearly weren’t planned, as they can’t connect anymore with the series which cut them in such a way they can’t be reinserted anymore.

The third series tried again adapting everything except the Sekiya arc and the Koito past arc. Overall though, despite those two cuts, they tried to adapt the most they could and at a decent pace, which allows the third series to come out as the best of the 3.

Result of this all?

The characterization of most of the characters, especially if you watch only the anime series without the OAD (or with the OAD but not placed in the order in which the manga storyline would have placed them), suffers of a lot of cuts that are instead important for their development.

Ogata is, of course, among the ones affected.

Some cuts are small, for example here we see him explaining that he’s not just randomly escaping, but that he has assested the situation and a retreat was the smartest thing he could do.

The same goes here, with Ogata again analyzing the situation and planning countermeasures as well as taking care of their weaknesses (warning Nikaidou to hide his binoculars).

And the same goes here

Ogata is even capable to point out that Hijikata’s plan might suceed at first but not in the long run, which shows a capacity of analysis of the big picture.

Plot wise this kind of cuts are meaningless, they don’t change the story but, character wise, they rob Ogata of one of his main characteristics, observing a situation, analyzing it and being fast to come up with a valid course of action.

You’ll find many cuts through the anime series and they touch various aspects of each character.

Sometimes those cuts affected lines exchanged between characters so that the relationships felt different because some things were just left unsaid.

Other cuts affected the boxes explaining things, for example in the anime we aren’t told why Ogata eats snow but we’re supposed to figure out on our own, or how the bear could sneak up without Ogata and Nikaidou noticing or how Ogata learnt during the war that he had to avoid hitting vital parts to slow his pursuers down and so on.

Then there are the HUGE cuts, the one I mentioned before, that involved plot threads (Umeko) or entire arcs, or had arcs placed in OAD that not everyone saw or that don’t well connect with the anime.

The Barato Arc and the Anehata arc both involved Ogata significantly, so not seeing the OAD affects the understanding of the character.

The fake Ainu arc being cut stripped Ogata of a lot of scenes, among which Sugimoto’s stubborn refusal of Ogata’s logical theory (those Ainu are fake) as well as didn’t show how Ogata saved Sugimoto’s life by shooting to a fake Ainu who was about to kill Sugimoto, returning Sugimoto’s favour (Sugimoto saved him while they were in Edogai’s house).

The Lighting bandit arc in the manga worked well to tie with the fact Ogata was a child born from parents who didn’t love each other. The anime kept Ogata’s backstory (and animated it mostly rather well) but it felt less strong since it lacked the frame of the Lighting bandit arc... and the worst part is we lost this bit.

The constant cutting of Umeko from the plot ended up causing the scene in which Sugimoto replied to Asirpa he was searching the gold to take care of a friend’s widow and Ogata pointed out how that widow was the woman Sugimoto loved and also realized how Asirpa was crushing for Sugimoto. The lack of this bit affects how we read the whole scene on the ice in Karafuto.

The fact the anime decided to skip the Anehata arc, changed the reunion between Ogata and Tanigaki making Ogata’s reaction to the death of Tamai and Co and to the discovery of how they actually died weaker and even deprived us of Sugimoto’s recurring ‘don’t trust Ogata’ to Asirpa who instead trust him, affecting how the relations were presented. This cause the relationship between Sugimoto and Ogata to look much better than it was.

Also, they removed Ogata’s presence once they were in the blind bandits house. He entered in it with Sugimoto but then the anime decided to have him disappear and left Sugi to handle it all when in the manga Ogata was there to help.

- another HUGE problem are the transposition choices. The biggest fault of the first series is to tend to present the character from a distance or from behind, hardly showing us their expressions. The Japanese voice actors (sorry I hadn’t tried out the dubs), expecially Tsuda Kenjiro, Ogata’s voice actor, do try their best but sometimes you just need to see the faces to get a feeling of what they’re feelings.

Look at this manga scene in which we see Ogata’s expression trice.

Do you know what they showed us in the anime? This.

Basically the anime put entirely on Tsuda Kenjiro the burden of delivering to the viewers Ogata’s displeased and suspicious feelings. Only Tsuda Kenjiro was instructed on keeping Ogata mostly toneless so, while he’s still an awesome actor and there are differences in his performance that give out what Ogata is feeling, they don’t come out as obvious as the visual of the manga, especially to a not Japanese viewer. It’s not a choice to keep Ogata mysterious, it’s a specific problem of the 1st anime series which does it with many, many characters, Sugimoto and Asirpa included because drawing and recycling such a scene takes less effort than animating all the panels that were in the manga.

It’s a problem mostly of the first series though, as the two following series were more expression friendly but... but the expressions they showed in all three series were often different from the ones used in the manga. Look at how in this scene Ogata is serious, I’ll say worried in the manga since his face is shadowed and as he understands something might be up but he has no idea what he is, but he clearly doesn’t like this development...

...while he grins in the anime, his face well light as if he’s having the best day of his life.

Then when he’s proudly showing off what he knows in the manga he smiles...

while in the anime he feels down.

Smiling with his eyes raised...

...versus not smiling with his eyes lowered.

...and so on and I don’t even know why they felt the need to change the various characters’ expressions (yeah, it’s not just an Ogata’s problem) as there’s simply no reason to do it.

On an interesting  note the anime chose to expand some fighting scenes. Ogata’s first fight with Sugimoto is longer, as Ogata manages to swing his bayonet a little before ending up on the ground (which is detrimental of Sugimoto who’s WAY more amazing of a fighter than him as Sugimoto can fight on par with Gansoku and Ushiyama) and felt the need to stretch the confrontation with Tsukishima too.

In the manga Tsukishima just kicks Ogata, Ogata notices Tsukishima is taking then gun and then tosses himself behind the stuffed people as he was still in that room. In the anime Ogata is in the room with the stuffed bear instead. Tsukishima kicks him behind it but then Ogata manages to spring out the room and go hid behind the stuffed people in the other room.

On another note, when in Edogai’s house Ogata is being beaten up by a soldier in the manga it’s shown he’s trying to protect himself with his arms while in the anime he seems to remain there completely still... and the anime put a sudden focus on Ogata’s eyes to switch at Sugimoto attacking the soldier and, at the same time pushing him away from Ogata, as if Ogata knew that he wouldn’t die there because Sugimoto was there to cover up for him, where in the manga there’s no emphasis on Ogata’s eyes and the two scenes are cut by how one has to turn page... plus Sugimoto hit the soldier so that he fell above Ogata so it’s clear Ogata wouldn’t have managed to glimpse Sugimoto.

 - Lastly yes, they missed the point of many of his interactions. For example the anime makers said they believed since Ogata’s mom kept on making the anglerfish nabe, it was because Ogata liked it, a sign she liked her son... when, according to the story, she kept on making it because it was his father’s favourite dish and she had gotten mad. In Karafuto they downplayed Asirpa’s efforts to have Ogata say citatap and hinna and completely missed how Ogata was allucinating her as Yuusaku...

(I mean in this scene is pretty obvious there’s a parallel between the two so I’m not sure how the anime missed it)

...and the anime seems to put more focus on how the lynx and Ogata’s tracks superimposed than on how Ogata is now walking on a different path from the lynx... just to list some of the things that came to my mind.

For more I’ve a couple of tags in which I compared the episode transposition and the manga one in details or a little more vaguely.

So, long story short, anime Ogata can’t help but give a different impression compared to manga Ogata.

He misses part of his story, his interactions are different, his expressions are changed, scenes that were meant to deliver certain things aren’t there so of course he seems another person.

It’s not done specifically to him though, as everyone suffered about this.

The anime, in his attempt to make the story simple and more... ‘shonen’ friendly has taken away much of the grey concepts for a more black and white picture which influenced also how situations were presented.

But well, while I’m not satisfied, part of this is done to market the show to a wider audience so it’s kind of a forced choice.

(On a sidenote it’s worth to remember that the anime adapt the volume version of the story which differs from the mangazine version in some relevant points. So not all the changes are completely made up by the anime.)

I hope it helps. Thank you for your ask!

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes : RELOADED

Augustus' burner phone is the key to locating Nero but the team discovers that it's more than just Nero that's behind all of this. Will the former 141 soldiers find out what Nero is up to? Will Alex rescue Samantha?

Table of Contents

Hello! Ray's Back in his game!

Chapter 16 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

My Damsel in Distress

"Alex"

Task Force 141 - Disbanded

On a plane off to somewhere

General Shepherd.

The name sent Alex's blood boiling from rage. He couldn't believe that a high ranking official would actually betray them and could still run away from it.

It's no secret that he wanted 141 out of the Nero scene. But why? He knew full well that Samantha doesn't have access over the address but he still took her? And he also knew that this little team won't walk away without her safe. Alex wondered what's running inside the snow-caterpillar-stache's little brain. He couldn't even say his name now.

He clenched his fists, feeling the thick leather gloves he wore for battle. It was a devastating day for him. They just bonded for a few moments here and there and now she’s already taken away from him. He couldn’t keep count how many times it happened. It was frustrating.

“So, which safehouse are you bringing us today?” Alex joked with his former CO. Jack looked serious as always, he never gets these kinds of humor.

“Same one in Brazil. It’s the most forgotten and spacious. No one’s going to come looking for us in South America.” Jack replied, looking worriedly at Alex.

“I know when you’re preoccupied Alex. What happened afterward?” Jack turned to him and Alex knew he had to open up. He deserved the truth anyway.

“I uh… I fell for her, Jack. I know I told you that I won’t but it just hit me.”

“Like a fucking brick…” Jack interrupted and chuckled.

“All I can say is that you’ve done a better job than I did when I fell in love. I could still see your determination towards your work. Or maybe because she’s still involved in all of this.” he added, causing Alex to relax his tensed shoulders.

“It’s good to have you back, old man.” Alex shook his hand and smiled. With all the problems around him, it was good to have someone close to him to talk to. He was glad Nero didn't kill him back in the Gulag.

“Yeah. Me too, and it looks like you’ve got yourselves a determined bunch. Especially that guy.” he noted, pointing to Soap who was sitting with France. Alex remembered how the two of them met at the Gulag and in that short span of time Jack was able to read the whole guy’s personality.

“Soap? Yeah, he’s an achiever. Heard he’s top of every obstacle course back at the base.” Alex mused, looking at the two. They were sitting together quietly but Alex felt jealous. He could've been doing that with Samantha right now. Now that she's ready to hear the truth about them.

"Yeah. He's got some fight in him. I'm sure we'll defeat Nero even with this little band right here. And I'll do my best to be of assistance to you." he patted Alex's shoulder and went back to check on Nikolai.

~

Safehouse 110197, Brazil

Alex remembered that this place was compromised, but then again that was the CIA mole's henchmen that found them here and they're no longer affiliated with Nero. Or he picked this place because no one would think of going back here after being compromised. The Reverse Psychology card. Either way, Alex didn't mind.

As the team slowly scattered around the house and prepared everything, Alex took note of some changes since his last visit. More beds were added and supplies got restocked. Even the bullet cache looked reloaded.

The team loaded off everything they salvaged, or stole, from the 141 and set it all up. Ghost prioritized the tech stuff while the women fixed the bedrooms. Alex offered help but was denied by Gary saying "Your face still hurts so don't over exert yourself, we can do this on our own."

So Alex plopped by the central couch as Ghost untangle the wires, putting them on their respective slots.

"You holding up okay?" The masked man asked as soon as Alex released a deep sigh.

"I'm worried about Samantha." he replied, resting his hands on the back of his head.

"She doesn't have the address, what does Shepherd want from her?" Alex added, his tone raised like a kid complaining.

"I have no idea. But I do have something else. Information on the surprise attack at the 141." Ghost said, as Jack and Price moved toward them and discussed the contents of Augustus' phone.

"That bastard gave away our location." Price cursed.

"So his plan to disband us would be successful." Alex added and Ghost nodded.

"Why get Samantha though? He knows we'll be coming for him." Ghost added and the rest of them speculated their theories.

"Augustus failed to get her so Shepherd did it for him? For what?" Jack noted, reviewing their whole mission for reference.

"Something bigger, I presume." Price spat and everyone fell silent. The rest of the team except for Gary and Maxine gathered for a short briefing. Everyone gave away their take as to why, some of them made sense while some reasons don't add up. And thinking about it was only making them more frustrated.

Everyone looked serious until they inhaled the fresh aroma of dinner from the kitchen. Alex turned and saw Gary and Maxine, smiling while serving up the team's dinner. He could sense something him and Samantha once shared in this place and it looked like the Safe house did it's charm once again.

"Now that's bloody good cookin'" Price announced and everyone laughed. He wasn't the kind of person to say those kinds of things, but he did, and it was all they needed to ease the tension of not knowing what's next.

They never gathered like this before, together, happy and noisy. The two oldies sat on the opposite edges of the round table while Soap, France, Gary and Maxine sat beside each other on the left. Simon and Alex sat on the other side, an empty chair resided beside them.

"Don't worry lad, we'll rescue her." Price muttered and Jack nodded. Alex smiled as they started to eat some food.

"Hold on a minute!" Soap exclaimed causing everyone to halt.

"Thank you Lord for thy blessings which we are about to receive. Amen." he muttered while everyone looked at him.

"Amen!" they all said in unison and wolfed down Gary and Maxine's delicious meal.

"This tastes so good! Just like Mom used to make!" Francine chewed happily. Maxine stared at her supposed to be sister and smiled.

"It does?" she breathed.

"Mmhmm.. I was always jealous that you two were so close together in the kitchen, everything I touch turns to a culinary mess." she frowned and made everyone else laugh. Soap stared at her in amazement.

"You and me both, France." Jack agreed. The gang bonded throughout dinner and enjoyed the company. Alex volunteered on the dishes and France offered to help.

"You think she's going to be fine?" Maxine asked as she checked the contents of the fridge, looking at Alex who looked very focused on the dishes he's cleaning.

"She's been kidnapped a lot of times now. I think she's used to it." Alex attempted to joke, but the tone of his voice was far from kidding.

"Aye, That lassie's a tough one. Don't worry Alex. We'll get her, Shepherd's bound to make a mistake anytime soon." Soap commented from behind him while leaning on the kitchen island.

"I told you I can handle assisting Alex on my own!" France giggled as she wiped the plates dry.

"Aye! I know! Can't a man just enjoy some time with his girlfriend?" he raised his hand mocking surrender. France turned back and crossed her arms.

"Ahem. Girl space Friend. There's a space in between." she scolded and MacTavish just chuckled.

"Whatever you say, Babe." he joked once again as he stepped out of the kitchen.

"Ugh. That guy's so full of himself." France groaned. Alex and Maxine exchanged glances and laughed, causing the female soldier to worry.

"What?" she asked.

"You two look cute together." Maxine chuckled, closed the fridge and walked away.

"We're not together!" France yelled, making sure Maxine would hear it wherever she went.

"We will be soon!" Soap exclaimed from outside, followed by collective laughter from the group of men with him.

~

Alex groaned and looked at his watch. It's already 3:36 am and he couldn't sleep. He slowly got up and looked around. On the huge bed, Jack and Price slept peacefully as evidenced by the loud snoring. Beside him on the floor was Soap, Roach and an empty spot where Ghost was supposed to sleep. The girls occupied the guest room.

Alex slowly got up and carefully assisted his metal leg, trying not to make noise as he waltzed to the balcony where he suspected Ghost to be.

And he was right, Ghost sat by the railings on the terrace, not a single expression of fear etched on his face. A face Alex saw for the first time.

"Can't sleep?" the former CIA asked. Ghost slowly turned his head and nodded.

"I'm just contemplating…" he muttered, the tone of his voice sound defeated.

"We caught ourselves in a crazy situation, huh?" Alex chuckled trying to make the best of the situation. Ghost didn't seem to like the vote of happiness as he clicked his tongue and sighed.

"I'm into France… but it looked like she's happier with John." he spat. From what Alex heard from Roach, Ghost was not the kind of person to open up. And this was all too surprising for him.

"I… uh…" Alex stammered.

"Look, I'm also sorry… You don't have to reply… I was about to vent to Gary about this but he seemed too preoccupied with Maxine and I didn't want to bother him."

"Look, it's okay. Ghost."

"It's Simon, Simon Riley."

"It's okay Simon. That's life. You win some, you lose some." he consoled. He tried to make it as positive as possible but he was also down in the dumps, like him.

"Thanks for the honesty. I just realized how devastated you must be. I never got to hear your story until Gary told me. It must've been tough losing her over and over again." Gary talked without looking at him.

"It's like I've been cursed to lose her and save her all over again." Alex complained.

"Like Link." Simon announced like it's a great metaphor which Alex didn't get.

"Link?"

"Like from the video game. Where this knight was always out to save her damsel in distress. It's got many different variations but it's always the same name. Generations have passed and Link was always destined to save Zelda." he said in amusement.

"My damsel in distress…" Alex noted and looked up at the stars, wishing that wherever Samantha may be, he hoped she's safe and also thinking of him.

Next Chapter : Delayed Flight

Notification Squad my beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @whimsywispsblog @beemybee @ricinbach

[l0eyking]

The One That Got Away || One Shot

Baekhyun and you are best friends, and you knew both of you wanted more than that, but something is holding him back, and you can't quite grasp what it is.

Fluff, Angst, Angst and Angst

You are stretched out lazily on your bed, reading a novel with your best friend, Baekhyun sitting cross legged beside you. He was on his phone, occasionally laughing and sighing, while scrolling through his twitter account. This is how both of you spent the weekend, almost every week. Your thoughts were too deep into your favourite fictional characters that you didn't even notice him putting down his phone. You only noticed you were frowning when you felt two warm fingers between your eyebrows, smoothing them, making you startled.

These past few months, Baekhyun's touches seemed to affect you a lot more than usual. You felt so odd with those kind of feelings, cause Baekhyun and you had known each other for years. You could even share one bed with Baekhyun when sleeping and feel nothing, but not anymore.

You immediately looked at Baekhyun questioningly.

"Stop frowning, you look ugly," he said jokingly.

"How about now?", You knitted your eyebrows together, even more.

His beautiful laugh filled the room. it's contagious, causing you to laugh too.

This is how it is, when you're around him. It's so warm and bright, no matter what season of the year or which part of the day it is.

He lifted your head and put it gently on his laps. He poked your head softly, causing your gaze to leave the novel in your hands and directed it to him.

"What? I'm not even frowning,", you arched one brow.

"Hey El, random question, what would you want to do, if you knew you had only one day left with me?", he grinned.

Random question is a game both of you created last year. It was a resultant of an eventless and also restless night, where both of you spent all night playing. There are only two rules; which are you need to answer honestly and you are only given five minutes to think about the answer. It could be the most random things, like once, Baekhyun asked if you would rather have tongues as fingers or fingers as tongues. Or even the most serious things, such as when you asked Baekhyun if he'd rather die first and not experience losing you, or experience losing you, but at least he knows, you won't ever be left alone. He used all his five minutes to think and finally chose the latter. In his defense, he said that you can't even cook your own breakfast. Your intention of asking that was actually to tease him about how you'd haunt him after you die, but he looked so serious, unlike how he usually is, so your voice broke, even before you could say a word.

"Why are you asking that, are you leaving me?", you shot him a look.

"No, it is obviously just a random question I saw on twitter, and that made me curious too", his grin still on his face.

You tried to read his face, but he was wearing his stupid grin he always puts on when he's happy, so you knew, he was saying the truth.

You've actually thought of this before, so you immediately answered,

"I will try to forget about the fact that it's my last day with you, and have all the fun i can have with you. So I'll bring you to Disneyland and I hope that night, we could see the first snow together", you smiled at the idea, but you also knew it would break you if Baekhyun ever leave you.

"Why Disneyland, though?",he tilted his head to the side, meeting your gaze. He looked so cute, like a tiny puppy. Your right hand found their way to his hair, your thumb and index finger playing with it, starting from the part near the scalp to the end of his soft brown hair, repetitively. You remembered he once said he loved the gesture, it made him so calm.

"I don't know, it just seemed perfect if we first met because of Disney and we also last met at Disney," you shrugged, almost laughing at the memory of when you first met Baekhyun at the high school library.

Flashback: 4 years ago

You were looking for a novel at the fictional section, when you first saw him, his back facing you. Being the busybody you are, you tiptoed to peek at the book on his hands, and saw the word 'Beauty and the Beast' at the upper side of the page.

"Great taste", you commented.

He turned to you, closing his book too abruptly, causing the hardcover novel to fall on your foot. You winced a bit, but you were grateful you were wearing your sneakers.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, did it hurt?", he picked up the book from the floor, eyeing your foot for a second.

"No, no it's fine, really," you ignored the tad bit of pain on your toes.

"Can you really walk?", he asked worriedly.

"Yes, yes, don't worry!", and just like that, he went off. Hmph. You sighed inwardly.

The next day, you found him at the same place, again with his back towards you.

"Well, well, look who's here,", you greeted. This time around, he turned around and closed his book but luckily, it didn't fell. He just grinned at you sheepishly.

"I haven't seen you before?", you asked.

"Yeah, I just transferred here yesterday,"

"Oh, you're the handsome one people have been talking about? I'm Elina, by the way," you offered your hand.

"Did YOU find me handsome? I'm Baekhyun," he took your hand, an amused smile adorning his face.

You scoffed. The question caught you off guard.

"Well, you look okay to me, as long as you don't drop your books on my foot", you retorted.

It's his turn to look embarrassed.

"Hey! It wasn't my fault! You were the one who startled me!", he whined.

And that's how you became best friends. You met almost every day at the library, sometimes exchanging opinions about the novel you read and sometimes hanging out at the coffee shop while doing your assignments. Despite the age gap of two years, him older, both of you find time for each other and cherished each other's presence and that was all that matters in your friendship.

Back to the present

"Hey! Stop laughing! I know you're laughing at me!", he jutted his lower lip.

You laughed even more than before.

"Shut up!,"

"Or what?", you said in between your laughs.

"Or I'll kiss you,", he said a little quietly, but you still managed to hear it. You abruptly stopped laughing, you could hear your heart thumping rapidly in your chest.

"Well, that shut you up, you didn't want me to kiss you, that badly, huh", you looked at his face and for a second, you swore you saw a hurt expression on his face, but he immediately smirked, making you question if you're just imagining things.

Fast forward a year later

You just finished your last class for the week, when your phone buzzed. It was a text from Baekhyun.

Bestie 🙄: Wait for me at your uni's parking lot

His university and yours are just a fifteen minutes drive, so you're used to him occasionally picking you up. You replied with a short ok and proceeded to walk to the parking lot.

His face lightened up a bit when he saw you, but you didn't see him. He intentionally honked and you yelped, as you showed him a middle finger.

He was laughing when you were opening the car door, as you cursed under your breath.

"I hate you,", you side eyed him.

"No you don't, you love me, that's why we're best friends,", he grinned.

You felt your heart broke at the word 'best friend', but you ignored it.

"Ugh, stop being so corny,", you replied.

"So, don't freak out,", he turned to you seriously.

"What?"

"Seriously, don't freak out!"

"Byun Baekhyun, I will freak out if you don't tell me right now!", you half yelled.

"Gosh, you're so much fun,", he said sarcastically, while handing you a white envelope.

You tear it open to find a pair of flight tickets and also Disneyland tickets.

"BAEKHYUN!!!! IS THIS FOR REAL!!! WHEN ARE WE GOING??", you were so happy, you screamed as your arms immediately wrapped around him.

He smiled widely as he returned your hug, and he whispered a soft

"right now"

And as if on cue, he detached himself from your hug and immediately started to drive to the airport. He had already packed all your necessities and clothes in the luggage on the backseat. He also asked you to take out the passport from the drawer in front of you. He said he had been planning this for months.

The next day

Today is the day. You woke up with a smile on your face and immediately got ready for your Disneyland visit. You were so ready to have fun today.

You knocked on Bekhyun's door as he opened it. The first thing that greeted your eyes when you closed the door, was his abs. He was asking you which shirt he should wear, but you weren't listening. How could you be listening? You were too absorbed by the view in front of you.

"Liking the view? My eyes are up here, El,", he teased, his two fingers pointing towards his eyes.

You could feel your face burning as you cleared your throat.

"You're so full of yourself,", you rolled your eyes as you picked the plain black shirt, and hurled it to his face. Your favourite look of his is definitely when he wore the plain black shirt with his jeans.

At the Disneyland

Both of you weren't really an adrenaline junkie, but you told Baekhyun you were going to make his money worth it, so you are both going to try ALL the rides in the Disneyland. He also bought the express lane ticket, so that even made it possible for you to do it.

You started with Dumbo the Flying Elephant. Your first ride didn't go so well. Both of you were screaming out of your lungs and clutching each other's hands as if your life depends on it when the ride wasn't even that scary, resulting with both of you earning weird looks given by the little kids that looked like 7 year olds when the ride ended. You and Baekhyun exchanged embarrassed glances and laughed anyways.

You decided to take your words; "trying ALL the rides" back, and proceeded to "try ALL the less scary rides instead", which Baekhyun reacted with a sigh of relief.

It was already noon when your stomach was screaming to be filled, and Baekhyun seemed to hear it too. You looked at him, embarrassed, but he only laughed at you, which made you pout slightly,

"Stop laughing, I'm hungry, dumbass,"

He acted offended, hands clutching his chest dramatically,

"Why should I feed someone who called me dumbass?"

"Fine, I'll say this again, I'm hungry, Baekhyunnnnn,", you said, playing with your intonation a bit.

"Not cute enough,", he looked at you uninterestedly.

You huffed and muttered "Fine bitch, you asked for it," under your breath. "Baekhyunneeee, I said I'm hungryyyy,", you tried again.

You expected for him to react poorly like acting as if he's gagging or something, but instead, he pinched your cheeks and nose as the ends of his lips turned upwards, forming a genuine smile.

"You're so cute, let's get you some food", he said as he took your hand. Damn, if only you knew where all these butterflies in your stomach came from.

Both of you went for the It's a Small World, Slinky Dog Spin and a lot of others to name.

The next thing you knew, it's already 10 past 9.

"El, let's go to the souvenir shop then get ready to get back home,"

"Already?" You asked. It seemed that time flew by too quickly when you're enjoying yourselves. Your shoulders slumped forward as Baekhyun led you to the shop.

It was so bright inside, filled with interesting things that costed an organ. You settled with a small keychain, reminding yourself to not spend too much.

"El, try this," Baekhyun placed a hairband with bunny ears in your hand.

"No, I don't have enough money for this,"

"Come on, I'll buy it for you," he convinced.

"Really? You can't take your words back, Baek!," your face brightened up.

"I wont, El, come on! Try it noww!", he pushed.

You placed the hairband on your head.

"How do I look, Baek?"

His gaze which was originally on the rack, landed on you. This is a new one, you've never seen this gaze before, so you can't quite comprehend it.

"Hey Baek, do i look so pretty that you're speechless or what," you joked.

"Yes,"

"What? Hey Baekhyun! That was supposed to be a joke!", you hit him lightly on the chest, but he managed to catch your wrist. Looking at his frowning face, he looked like he was about to say something.

"Hey, are you okay,", your fingers smoothen his temple, like he always did to you.

"Y-yeah, it's nothing," he looked down to his shoes.

You decided not to push it, cause you knew better that Baekhyun won't tell you something until he's really ready to do it. So instead you changed the mood.

"Baek, we should buy matching ones!", you placed a hairband with matching bunny ears gently on his head.

"Awh, we look so cute, Baekhyun, look at that!" you pointed to the mirror in front of you.

He lifted his head and looked at the mirror, and as if he's looking at the most beautiful view ever, his lips turned into a wide smile, the kind that reaches his eyes.

"That's more like it, take a picture, Baekhyun!",

Both of you were at the counter, Baekhyun paying for the souvenirs you wanted. You tried resisting, but it's no use. You were about to whine about him paying, when you heard the fireworks. Baekhyun immediately took your hand and dragged you to the open space in front of the shop.

You were utterly amazed by the fireworks that you kept silent. A smile crept into your face as you were looking intently at the beautiful fireworks until it ended. It was a whole 20 minutes, but you were too absorbed with it, that caught you speechless. What you didn't know was that, Baekhyun was also doing the same thing, but instead of the fireworks, his eyes was on your face all along, but with a sad smile complimenting his face.

Just after the fireworks ended, the first snow started to fall. You can't believe how perfect the night was.

You turned your head at Baekhyun and found his gaze on you, making you blush, but you didn't really worry if Baekhyun sees it, cause it was dark.

"Liking the view? The fireworks were up there, Baek," you thought that it would be fun to tease him, just like how he teased you this morning.

Snow started falling and immediately melt as it touches your hair and jacket. You raised your hand to let the the snow fall into your palm.

"Baek, look, it's snowing,"

You looked at him, what you didn't expect was his intense gaze on your lips. The atmosphere was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Again, he looked like he's considering to do something. You saw him almost leaning in, but he stopped midway. His eyes finally meet yours and you saw something break in him, but you can't seem to grasp what it is. In a flash, he broke the eye contact and just said, "Let's get going, we're gonna miss the flight,". He said that as if nothing happened. As if no glances were stolen, as if no feelings were harboured.

You won't lie, you felt disappointed and you could hear your heart shattered into pieces. You know, there's something holding him back, but it is impossible for you to figure it out, if Baekhyun keeps on avoiding it like this.

The journey home was a silent one, until you and Baekhyun were at your door. You were about to say something, when both of you started to talk at the same time. Both of you laughed, you felt the atmosphere lightens.

"You first,", you said.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Of course i did! It was never not fun with you, Baekhyun. It is fun even if we're just playing random question,"

Again, the sad smile that didn't reach his eyes. The smile that broke your heart, but you didn't even know why.

"I'm glad we're best friends, Elina. I'm grateful we met. I'm even more grateful you cherished me as much as I cherished you,"

Again, the damned word, 'best friend'

"Stop with the goddamn word 'best friend', Baekhyun, I'm so tired of that shit,", the words that came out of your mouth surprised you. They obviously caught Baekhyun by surprise too.

"What do you mean?",

"Are you blind, Baekhyun? I cherished you more than best friends, Baek. I wanted more than just 'best friends'. Cant you see that I love you?",your voice breaking at the last sentence.

He was silent, so you continued,

"And don't start with the bullshit that you don't feel the same way, cause I know you do. I saw it in your eyes, and I thought I was imagining it, but you almost leaned in, Baek! You almost freaking leaned in! What's holding you back, Baekhyun?", you almost shouted, hot tears already running down your cheeks.

You could see his eyes softened.

"Don't say that, El. You can't love me. Please, I'm begging you, please don't love me, I'm not selfish enough to let you love me and I can't possibly leave you like this!", he sounded so frustrated, yet so sad.

"What does that suppose to mean? Why are you leaving me, Baekhyun? Are you really leaving me? You said you're never gonna leave me,", you asked quietly, not quite believing what you heard.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath.

"Let's talk about this later, El. When we can think straight,"

"No, I need an explanation, right now, Baekhyun,"

"Let's just talk later, El, I'm tired"

At this rate, you're talking without thinking anymore.

"Fine, leave me, Baekhyun, but make sure you don't come finding me back, ever again"

You shut the door on his face.

You made your way to your bed and cried, regretting what you said, but your ego won't let you take your words back.

You woke up with puffy eyes as you trudged lazily to the living room. You saw something in front of the door, right on the floor. Squinting, you saw a white envelope. Baekhyun must've slipped it under the door yesterday. Rage fills all over you, so you picked it up and shoved it into the trashcan.

You weren't having it today, so you lazily slouched on the sofa, watching tv all day. That's when you heard the bell. It was 9 in the evening, for god's sake. You were about to yell at the person disturbing your evening, but you saw an out-of-breath chanyeol in front of you. You could feel something bad is happening,

"Chanyeol, what's wrong?"

"Baekhyun- hospital- not much time", chanyeol explained in between breaths.

Your heart's pace quickened at chanyeol's explanation. Is this really happening? That's when the thought dawned at you. This was what's holding him back. You could feel the world's crashing down on you.

The next thing you knew, you were already beside Baekhyun in a hospital room. He smiled to you weakly, when you wrapped your hands around his.

"B-Baekhyun..", you meant to ask what's wrong, but you ended up sobbing.

"Shh.. El, it's okay. I'm fine, really," his hands caressed your hair gently, as he pulled you to sit in his bed, beside him.

You got thousand of questions, like how serious is his illness, what is his illness, but you kept quiet, cause you don't believe yourself to say anything without crying.

"El, can i request something?"

You nodded.

"Can we act like I'm not sick? Let's act like how we always were, hanging out at your place," he said weakly.

Baekhyun's request broke your heart for the thousandth time. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes and nodded. You told yourself that you had to be strong for Baekhyun. You opened your eyes and smiled widely at him. He returned it and you forcefully joked, "What are you smiling at, creepy,"

His laugh resonated throughout the room. You laughed too, and you were determined to fulfil your best friend's wish, no matter how much it hurts you.

Both of you were laughing at everything and anything, considering that this is the last time you're sharing laughs. You were playing random question and baekhyun's teasing you all the time, until it was suddenly silent. He finally said it.

"El, I don't have much time left,"

That's when the dam broke, that's when you took off whatever mask you've put on. Tears came gushing down your cheeks and this time, you didn't even try to hold it in. Baekhyun can't seem to hold his tears too, cause the sight of you crying was breaking him into a million pieces, but he kept on saying it's okay, while his thumbs busy wiping your tears.

"Baekhyun, if only I knew..", you sobbed again.

"No, it wasn't your fault, El. I made this choice,"

When both of you knew you don't have much time left, you sat silent, enjoying each other's company for the last time. Baekhyun could feel his time is near, so he whispered, "I'm sorry I can't keep my promise, Elina,"

You also knew his time was coming, so you just shook your head.

"No, Baekhyun, don't say that", you placed your head on his chest.

"I'm sorry I can't stick with you til the end, like I promised. I'm sorry I'm leaving.. you.. first," he struggled saying the last few words.

You were already panicking, your hands trying to reach for the emergency switch, but Baekhyun stopped your hand.

"You're gonna be fine, Baekhyun, we're gonna be fine,", your tears stained baekhyun's shirt but you didn't care.

"I.. love.. you.. El..." this time, Baekhyun's breath was much shallower.

"I love you too, Baek,",

That was the first and last time both of you got to say 'i love you' just like how you meant it, nit the best-friend-i-love-yous, but the real i-love-you. Fate is such a mean word, you think. Just like that, he left you. He left you alone to navigate through the harsh world by yourself. You felt lost. You felt regret washing all over you. But the most dominant one you're feeling, is the feeling of rage. You were mad at Baekhyun for leaving you. You were mad at Baekhyun for not telling you the truth. You were mad at Baekhyun for lying to you all this time. As if you were possessed, you shook Baekhyun's lifeless bod roughly.

"Baekhyun, why did you leave me? How could you leave me, Baek? You said you were gonna see me leave first, cause I can't even cook my own breakfast! Then why... why are you leaving me Baekhyun..." you continued crying. You suddenly remembered about the letter Baekhyun slipped under the door. You ran outside, ignoring how your legs are protesting, catching a cab home. Your visions are so blurry with tears, it's such a miracle you found the crumpled piece of envelope in the trash can.

Dear Elina,

My best friend, my love, my laughing gas, my day maker, my everything.

If you're reading this, that means I failed to muster my courage to tell you everything after we went to Disneyland. I actually started writing this the day after you told me you would bring me to Disneyland if you knew it was your last day with me. I'm not really sure how much time I have left, but the doctors are saying I'm fine, as if I don't know the truth. I'm not sure when will I have to book all the tickets to bring you to Disneyland, and also, oh my god the passports! But don't worry, I've already asked the doctor to tell me if I don't have much chance left, so I can plan carefully when we'll be going, El! Im such a genius, hee ^*^ 3/5/17

You stopped reading, as you laughed, but the pain in your heart has actually worsened.

Anyways I was actually contemplating if I should tell you I like you but the other day you kept quiet when i said i'd kiss you if you keep laughing. I guess you didn't like me back :< but it's okay!! At least I didn't tell you my confession first!!! It would have been awkward for us T^T 3/5/17

But I loved you, Baekhyun, if only I got to say that earlier..

The treatment hurts me so bad T_T

5/7/17

I wish I was there for you..

The doctor stopped my treatments cause I'm not getting any better, and cause it hurts me much more than it should be :/ 5/12/17

Hey, I haven't updated cause for a moment, i thought I would at least have a few years, but just now during my appointment the doctor told me I don't have much time left. Not sure if I should feel sad cause that means im gonna leave soon or if I should feel happy cause the doctor finally let me go to the Disneyland!! Usually I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with adrenaline rush like the theme park, but I begged the doctor and I said I'm going to die soon anyways, so... i'm booking the tickets 8/6/18

Why should I die, El? Am I a bad guy? Why me? I'm scared. <\3 8/10/18

You're not a bad guy, Baek, you're such an angel, everybody loves you, I, love you, Baekhyun.

You almost stopped reading cause your hearts aches so so much, but you continued anyways. This one was written right after you fought.

Hey El, tonight we had a big fight and I regretted not telling you the truth earlier. I regretted not seeing the signs earlier. I regretted not saying that I love you, and I regretted for being such a coward. If only I told you I love you earlier, if only I was selfish enough, maybe we could have been happier, even if for a short time. I'm sorry, El. I'm sorry for breaking your heart tonight, but I can't let you love me, and then leave you forever. It's not fair for you. It's not fair for us. You deserved so much more, Elina. You deserved someone who could love you as much as I did, but you deserved someone who won't leave you, just like how i will. 9/12/18

Goodbye, Elina. I'd have waited longer, but I really need to go, please be happy. 6 am, in front of your door, 10/12/18.

This was written 2 hours after you shut the door at Baekhyun's face. The thought of him spending 2 hours on your doorstep broke you.

You could see tear stains on the paper, and it wasnt yours. Desperately You searched for more writings, flipping the papers, checking every piece of them, but you knew that was the last one. You regretted everything you said last night but you couldnt do anything anymore. The times you spent with Baekhyun flashed across your mind. The time both you laughed so hard, until you feel pain in your stomach, the time you cried in his embrace because your pet died, the time when he got really mad at you because you were singing to Katy Perry's The One that Got Away. It all makes sense now and you realised you can't do that anymore. At last, you just put the piece of paper down, as you cried until it numbs your broken heart.

[damn-the-dark]

I'm craving for a soft Darkiplier oneshot but I usually find angst ;-; is it normal for wanting a soft and fluffy Dark?

Absolutely it is normal!! ;w; here’s a quick oneshot for you!! Let me just preface this with:

I Am Not A Writer

But like...uwu here’s some soft angst.

Ships: DarkiplierxReader(Y/N, the DA), DamienxReader

You’ve been rescued from the purgatory of stories Actor makes you live. You seek out the one who saved you to thank them.

------

Winter. It made the mansion shudder and groan under the harsh outside conditions, the snow had not let up since the previous night. You rubbed your hands together in an attempt to keep the chill off, unsurprisingly it failed. You cursed yourself for leaving your gloves back in your own room, clear across in the East wing.

You decided you’d rather sate your curiosity than go back for them. A single window, warmed by what you presumed was a fireplace, stood out against the storm and beckoned you from your room. You hadn’t been staying at the estate for very long, but the window had remained lit every night since you arrived, and stayed so long past all the others had darkened.

You had an idea of who resided there, when the others spoke of him it was always in a whisper and always full of respect. You’d only met him once, you think anyway, your memory was blurred beyond the moment you were suddenly brought to this place. Somehow though you knew he had done you a great favor. You owed him your thanks, and so you watched that window every night until you mustered the courage to brave the cold halls. Apparently central heating was not enough to warm the bones of the estate much less its occupants.

And so here you stood, outside the door left ajar, spilling warm flickering light out onto the tile floor. A faint hum in your ears and a chill prickling your spine. You peered inside.

He sat alone, aside the mantle, book resting on his lap, thumb on the corner of the page. It would have been a peaceful scene, but something hung in the air around him sapping the color from the walls and the light of the fire. His eyes were shadowed and sallow in their sockets and the fire’s light cast his whole form in a statuesque contrast.

“You can come in.” He didn’t look up.

You weren’t sure if it was the crackle of the wood or the hum in your ears that grew louder. You lightly opened the door wider and slipped inside.

Suddenly feeling awkward, you didn’t know what to say, be frank and state why you really crossed a frigid old mansion? Was that too strange?

The book thumped closed.

“Can I help you with something?” His voice was low, coupled with how his presence filled the room and you with unease, you could plainly see why the others were wise to fear him.

But when you met his gaze, he did not glower at you, but instead regarded you with…what? He was unreadable but at the very least he didn’t look to be angry.

“I wanted to get warm,” You spoke up finally, emphasizing your words with a shudder, “it’s pretty cold in my room.”

It wasn’t exactly the reason, but it would do at least maybe get your hands warmed by the fire.

He simply gestured to the couch across from him and you took that as an invitation to sit. He certainly didn’t seem apt to chat but at the very least maybe you could get used to his disconcerting presence enough to remember the  words you wanted to say.

As you defrosted in the fire light, you were keen to keep an eye on him as he shelved the book he had been reading. It seemed it hadn’t been any kind of novel at all, but a yearbook. You couldn’t read the script the year was lettered in, but the binding looked quite old.

Something flitted in the back of your mind, but before you could identify the feeling, it was gone.

“Would you like a blanket?” The question startled you, not in its suddenness, but its softness.

“I’d love one, thanks.” He paced to an old chest beyond the bookcase, unlatched it and drew a woolen blanket from within. It too looked a bit dated, along with other items in the study. You got the feeling he had an affinity for art deco, though it had lost its radiance long ago, you could still see the geometric patterns adorning everything from the furniture to the mantle itself.

As he stepped closer, the hum escalated to a dull ringing and the entire room warped to and fro in shades of dull grey. You wondered what unearthly sort of being he was, but weren’t alarmed by the shift in reality around you. It somehow offered another twinge of familiarity.

A vision took your consciousness, of another night like this one, in a study similar to the one you were in. Where was it? You couldn’t recall, but a person sat beside you, also warming themselves from the chill.

You were suddenly back in reality, blanket draped across you. Did he set it there? The world was in technicolor again, except of course where he stood next to the window. His gaze was distant.

“Have I been here before?” You asked, partially without thinking. “Something about being here…brought back a memory.”

He stiffened a bit. “No you haven’t been here specifically.”

Your incurable case of curiosity flared up again. Swathing yourself in the blanket you got up.

“I came here to say thank you.” Your voice was soft. You stepped around the couch toward him. “I don’t know how, but I know I’m safe here. I can’t remember much about anything before this, but I know it… wasn’t good.”

He turned to face you, a somber look on his face. You recalled someone- a friend maybe?- who would give a similar expression, but you couldn’t place who exactly.

“Of course.” His cool timbre was reassuring. “I wouldn’t let you live like that, if I could help it.”

“I just…need to know, who are you, exactly.” You took another step, allowing the greyness to tinge your vision. “The others call you Dark but…” But the more you look through the grey your memory grows clearer, cyan begins to dance in his silhouette. Something about you being in his aura, close to him, his shared -yes shared! – memories with yours came into view.

A thousand meetings, over and over, in a bizarre purgatory of another man’s making. But beyond that…

-

A warm college study on a frigid winter day. You’d stayed on campus for the holiday break, content to study you law books for the upcoming semester. And of course, the parties this time of year were the stuff of legend.

The crackle of the fire filled the air and dulled the sound of footsteps beside you.

“Still at it, hm?” You could hear the crooked grin in his voice.

You disguised the flutter in your chest with a deliberately patronizing reply. “Some of us would like to graduate at some point.” But you smiled through it and set your notebook and texts aside. “It can’t all be wild and fun times now can it?”

His grin broadened. “Of course not dear,” his gaze was warm, “but would you perhaps consider postponing your studies for the evening? There’s a wonderful event in the fine art hall tonight and you know I simply can’t go without my partner in crime.”

“Perhaps I’d consider it,” You reply, tapping your chin in mock deliberation, a soft smile creased your cheeks, “if you’d have a seat here for a moment I’ll finish this chapter.”

“I’d be happy to.” He took a seat next to you, close, but not quite in your space. Your flutter grows in intensity.

You try to focus on your reading but your eyes get lost on the page and soon wander over to him. You’d grown close over the past few years as your courses were in shared subjects. He was a kind man, you’d never know he came from money. He respected you and you respected him. It would be a shame to ruin your friendship by confessing your feelings for him.

As your thoughts turned inward, you found the late nights catching up with you. Allowing the glow of the fire to lull you, you didn’t feel yourself slowly slide to the side.

You awoke to an arm wrapped softly around you and the blanket that had been atop the couch draped over you, including your forgotten books.

“Damien…” You managed through the sleep.

“Awake at last I see.” You glanced up. He was so gorgeous with the orange light flickering across his features. He regarded you through drowsy half-lidded eyes of his own. A powerful emotion welled up in your throat, overcoming your waking inhibitions.

“Damien, I-“

-

Tears slid from your eyes. You remembered.

“Damien.” Your lips clung tightly to the name, desperately, as to not lose it again.

Your heart stung. You knew it wasn’t him anymore but it didn’t stop you from regarding the entity who shared his face with the same love you felt for him.

“You… may call me that.” The pain was visible in the flashes of red and blue behind him, “but only fragments of him remain.”

Overcome with the weight of your own returned memories, your knees sank to the floor, coming to rest on the hot tile in front of the fireplace. You stared into it through glassy eyes.

In a breath he was beside you. Close, but not in your space. A cold hand brushed your cheek and delicately turned you to face him.

“If. It means anything at all to you. I can feel how he did. He loved you very much.”

And that was all it took. You wrapped your arms around him, the greyness freezing the room around you into a still quiet. Your sobs were the only sound to be heard.

It was like that for a while. Somehow, he held you until you’d exhausted yourself and your fits of tears subsided. You focused on the sensation of static where you touched him. Oh Dames, what happened to you.

He ran his hand through your hair, a slow and soothing motion. You finally mustered the strength to sit up and face him… the one they called Dark. The one they feared, the one with so much rage inside him it bled into the air itself.

“I’m sorry. I know…I know you’re not the same. But, you’ve watched over me this whole time. You saved me. Thank you.”

You leaned forward unaware you were doing so. He kissed you softly on the forehead, static tinged the contact.

“Of course my dear.”

-

The sound of his voice still lingered in your ears and the kiss on your skin as you found yourself back in your own room. Wispy darkness receded into the corners.

A note sat atop your nightstand and when the weight in your body lightened enough, you moved over to read it.

Next time, please remember your gloves.

                                                 -Dark

 A choked laugh bubbled up through you. You promised him silently you would.

[spookyold-saintjm]

Can I please get a super fluffy Dark x Reader from the Christmas prompts with numbers #6, #9, & #16? With something along the lines of Dark isn't a scrooge at Christmas, but he definitely isn't a fan either. Maybe a 1st Christmas together as friends? IDK. But they both really like each other, but are too scared to tell each other. Y/N LOVES snow, Dark loves seeing Y/N happy. Sorry if that's a lot. I'm having some major Darks feels right now.

6: It’s snowing!

9: I don’t remember the last time I truly enjoyed Christmas.

16: I can’t believe you’re making snow angels at a time like this!

From this prompt list.

@geekdorknerdfangirlblogger this is for you! I altered the last prompt a little. I’m sorry didn’t finish it before Christmas but consider it some fluffy winter-time goodness. Hope you like it! x

Darkiplier x reader

It wasn’t every day that Dark was willing to do something outside of his normal routine of work and plan and brood. It was an endless cycle, and he never rested, tirelessly working toward his end goal, tirelessly distracting his mind and body from the truth that he faced every minute of every day. 

You’d asked him to join you for a walk on this particular winter afternoon, a few days before Christmas, and he at first had been hesitant.

“Come on, it’s snowing!” you offered, seated across from him at his desk. “And you need some fresh air. Staying cooped up in here all day isn’t going to help you get anything done.”

You were right, he knew that. You usually were. Dark wasn’t intentionally self-destructive, but he would so often focus on everything else that simple matters of caring for himself would often be set aside. Not that there was much that could be done about the state of the broken shell he was contained inside. For now. Forever. He wasn’t sure any more.

He placed the papers he had been reading down onto his desk, splaying his fingers flat over the top page as he considered.

“I suppose.” He looked up at you, your smile at his answer giving him that feeling again. The one that made his fingertips prickle and sent a dull, tingling sensation down his spine. He was able to shove it out of his mind long enough to answer you. “I’ll meet you downstairs shortly.”

He was true to his word, finding you waiting by the door, now bundled in a coat, scarf and beanie. He had only slipped on his jacket, nothing more. The cold didn’t affect him like it used to. Thankfully, you didn’t ask any questions, and opened the door for the both of you to step outside.

Dark allowed you to lead the way, so long as the two of you weren’t gone for long. He did have work to get back to, after all. After a long minute of silence as you made your way, you began to wonder why you thought this was a good idea. And more so, why had Dark agreed to it? 

You felt foolish, absolutely foolish for finding any way to be around him. Any excuse to spend a few extra minutes in his office, any reason to bring him something he would need or, like today, do something to get him out of his usual routine. When you had come along, Dark had been surprisingly quick to accept your presence, much to everyone’s surprise. You didn’t mind. There was something about him, from the moment you’d met, that simply drew you in. He was cold, he could be harsh and demanding, and there was that strange aura that always seemed to follow him, that sense of dread…

Yet, you knew there was more to him than this. Maybe it was because the parts of him that were so bold were the ones that you did your best to conceal. Your own past, your own hurt, your own story with the parts that you would never dare to admit. Somehow it created a balance between the two of you, an unspoken understanding that the two of you could stick together.

That was why, Dark supposed, he always indulged your hesitant requests to borrow books from his study, then lounge around reading them, even long after he had gone for the day. It was why he would find tiny things he needed help accomplishing throughout the day, made requests for random things brought to his office that he truly had no use for at the time, why he had agreed to join you on this particularly chilly winter day.

It wasn’t that you were unaccustomed to the silence, maybe it was just all of the emotions that arose in you around this time every year, but you felt like you were going to implode if one of you didn’t speak.

“Christmas is in a few days…what’s your favorite thing to do?” You finally asked. “Or…for the holidays in general? If that’s, like, your thing.”

Dark looked at you from the corner of his eye, his face remaining neutral. “I don’t remember the last time I truly enjoyed Christmas.” He answered simply. To most anyone else, an answer of more than a few words by Dark to that kind of question would have been near unbelievable. But not to you. 

You frowned. While your insides were begging to burst into a chorus of But Christmas is the best time of year!!! The lights! The food! The presents! The SNOW!, you resisted the urge, knowing that it definitely wouldn’t convince him.

“That’s okay,” you replied with a shrug. “I understand. Do you guys celebrate, though?”

Dark nearly froze at your sudden acceptance of his reply, but instead hummed in thought before answering. “The others usually have some sort of event the night before…” he rubbed at his temples with exhaustion at the thought. “But those usually end in disaster.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “That sounds about right,” you replied lightly, and briefly explained your own holiday traditions of the past. It would be different this year, now that you were here, but you were determined to make it great. 

Dark listened in silence, slight nods and the faintest of smiles his only reply. You didn’t mind; you knew he wasn’t much of a talker. Besides, you were so thrilled at embracing the first snowy day of the winter that you couldn’t help yourself. The first snow was always the best one, and you didn’t want to take a moment of it for granted.

Dark, on the other hand, was simply enjoying being near you. It nagged at his mind, you did, more often than he cared to confess. Seeing your eyes light up at the simple existence of the world around him made him feel a strange sensation in his chest that he didn’t quite recognize.

Despite his seemingly always cool and collected demeanor, he kept stealing sideways glances at you. Your cheeks warmed the first time you noticed, and you kept accidentally meeting his gaze after that. Neither of you were brave enough to say a word about it.

The rest of you walk was spent mostly in peaceful silence. When you reached the manor again and saw the fresh, untouched snow in the front yard, you suddenly grinned and took off into a run.

Dark flinched, an arm reaching out towards you. “y/n! What are you—”

You had flung yourself into a pile of snow and were lying on your back. You let out a short laugh and started waving your arms and legs back and forth in the freezing snow, the cold seeping through your layers of clothing, but you didn’t mind.

Dark stared at you, his head slightly tilted, as he approached you. He stopped a couple feet away from you and looked down at you moving in the snow.

“What…are you doing.” He attempted to maintain a neutral tone, but didn’t realize his mouth was still ever-so-slightly agape in surprise.

You stopped moving and looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “…snow angel?”

His expression didn’t change, and you launched yourself up into a sitting position. 

“I can’t believe you don’t know what a snow angel is!” you cried, your eyes nearly popping out of your head.

Dark couldn’t help but chuckle at your response. “I can’t believe you’re making a…snow angel.”

You groaned in mock annoyance as you stood. You took a couple steps back to look at your work, pulling Dark by the arm along with you.

“See?” You gestured to the shape you’d formed in the snow. “Looks like an angel. Snow. Angel.”

Dark stared down in silence, but was thinking far too much instead of your hand still wrapped around his arm, near his wrist. You’d never touched before, and although his suit jacket was between your skin and his, he just knew that your hands were soft, comforting despite the fact that they were freezing cold. 

“If you say so,” he sighed, forcing the thought from his mind. You glared at him, which he only responded to with a joking half-grin. But something behind his eyes seemed more…serious? Something else.

It was then you also realized you were touching. Still touching, your fingers subconsciously curled into his suit jacket. You quickly pulled away, using the same hand to adjust your beanie on top of your head as if it were natural. As if you hadn’t felt that butterfly feeling, too. 

“Okay, well, ah, now that that’s done…” you started, suddenly all to aware of the small distance between the both of you.

Your heart nearly came through your chest when Dark’s hand reached back out for you. He looked at you, the small grin still stuck on his face, but you could barely, just barely feel the tremble as his fingers slowly intertwined with yours.

“I believe you promised hot chocolate once we returned,” he said, his voice soft. “Shall we?” He shrugged and nodded toward the upper floor of the manor, where his office was located. “I have to get back to work soon, you know.”

The smile that you felt spread across your face was one that you hadn’t felt in quite some time as you answered him. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Your hands remained together as you returned into the manor, and you both silently hoped it would be a long, long time before the other would decide to let go.