#( because i do appreciate the fact that billy at least tries to help himself improve as a person )

[hartigays]

#4&5 for harringrove? so glad you’re back in the writing game💞💞💖💖

4. “You’re staring again.”

5. “Wow. you look stunning.”

nancy is getting married.

the church is packed to the brim, primarily with every last member of the wheeler family. some of the byers’ extended family have come down, but the ratio between the two families is relatively incomparable.

steve adjusts his tie for the hundredth time, grimacing. he’s not a big fan of formal dress, especially suits. he’s also not a big fan of watching his first love get walked down the aisle while he remains single and unsatisfied in virtually all aspects of life.

he’s happy for nancy. really, he is. steve loves how happy jonathan makes her, he loves that nancy found the person she’s truly meant to be with. steve loves that she’s getting everything she deserves out of life - all the good things. it’s all he ever wanted for her, really.

but steve finds that despite those things, it doesn’t make the reality of this situation sting any less.

“he’s staring at you again.”

steve is startled out of his thoughts. he turns to look at robin, his brows knitting in confusion.

“billy,” robin clarifies, glancing over to where the boy in question is sitting. “he’s been doing it since they got here.”

billy and max are sitting in a pew across the aisle from steve and robin. steve had tried to not pay any mind to his arrival - though, not necessarily because he and billy are still resting on uneven ground.

the reality is, they’ve grown to be relatively good friends. billy and steve go to lunch together sometimes, when their work schedules line up. they work out together every now and then on their off days. billy routinely ransacks steve’s wardrobe, tells him that his fashion sense is heinous and replaces his least favorite items with some of his own.

steve isn’t really sure if the stuff billy brings him is his, or if he spends time shopping specifically for steve. to improve his so-called “pathetic” wardrobe. although, steve finds that billy never touches his pastel polos and neatly pressed khakis. mostly just his t-shirts and the jeans that don’t fit him right due to his inability to understand size charts.

point is, billy has become a constant in steve’s life that he appreciates greatly but doesn’t quite understand. he wishes he did, though. he especially wishes he understood the feeling that blossoms in his chest every time billy gives him that secretive smile. the one steve is pretty sure no one but him has ever seen, other than max - maybe.

“he’s probably staring at you,” steve tells her, shrugging. “you do look amazing in that dress. heather is going to lose her shit when she gets here.”

“thanks, steve,” robin says, ducking her head. “but no, he’s looking at you. he’s always looking at you.”

steve doesn’t understand that. he doesn’t see it, honestly. billy is an unbelievably attractive guy who always has a gaggle of girls falling all over him at any given moment. hawkins’ resident unattainable bad boy. he’s just steve’s buddy, nothing more.

something about that thought leaves a sour taste in steve’s mouth. but he doesn’t have time to dissect it, because a moment later, the ceremony is starting.

it’s a beautiful ceremony - the parts steve pays attention to, anyway. the moment nancy reaches the end of the aisle and moves to stand before jonathan, steve glances over at the pew across from his.

billy is staring, steve can’t deny it this time. he looks away, his face heating up. billy has an unreadable look on his face, and it makes steve squirm. he tries to focus back on the ceremony, but it makes his heart sink.

so. he looks back at billy. the other boy is still staring. for the first time, he takes in how good billy looks. he definitely cleans up well. his suit is dated, but he wears it well. in fact, it looks pretty fucking incredible on him. he chose not to don a tie, instead keeping the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone. steve can see the faint glimmer of the necklace he always wears hanging around his neck.

it shouldn’t look as good as it does. steve’s mouth feels a little dry. he tries not to focus too much on the way billy’s curls fall, or the heat of his blue eyes burning into his.

but when nancy and jonathan start exchanging their vows, steve feels his heart give an unpleasant twist. he meets billy’s eyes again. they don’t break contact until they’re being ushered out of the church.

the reception is crazy. the ballroom of the venue they’d chosen looks like something straight out of a fairytale. nancy looks like a disney princess when jonathan twirls her about during their first dance.

steve sits on the sidelines sipping some fruity cocktail or another. robin and heather have found each other and are dancing the night away. to an outside perspective, they just look like two friends having a great time. but steve sees the sneaky little touches, the lovey-dovey gazes. it both warms his heart and makes his stomach sink.

he wants that. he really, really does. not with nancy, or robin, or even the cute receptionist that works for his father. steve’s mind only supplies him with an image of blue eyes and nose freckles. it makes him feel out-of-sorts.

steve makes a beeline for the bathroom.

it’s empty, thank god. steve splashes some cold water on his face, watching himself in the mirror as he pats his skin dry. he feels incredibly off-balance today. it’d be nice if that could stop.

no such luck.

the door behind him cracks open, and billy slips inside. steve’s heart does a funny dance, and for a moment, he’s worried he’s having a heart attack. he clutches his chest, his eyes locking with billy’s reflection in the mirror.

“you’re staring at me again,” is all steve can think to say. he’s not exactly sure why.

billy cracks a small half-smile. “yeah.”

“anything you want to share with the rest of the class?”

for the first time ever, billy looks a little timid. shy, even? it’s a strange look for him. steve has never seen billy hargrove look like anything other than the mysterious, intimidatingly attractive bad boy that he is.

“i, uh. you just - you look...amazing,” billy finishes, a little lamely. he rolls his eyes at himself, looking up at the bathroom ceiling and shaking his head.

the smirk returns, but for the first time steve sees it for what it is: a mask.

“so do you. you clean up well,” steve notes, staring down at the sink. his cheeks are bright red; billy’s words make him feel warm.

after a beat of silence, billy moves to stand at the sink next to him. steve meets his eyes again after a moment. the look billy is giving him feels almost electric, now that he’s not looking at him via a mirror.

“why so glum, sugarplum?”

steve makes a face, snorting. he can’t help but smile. “i’m not. i mean, i was. i’m not anymore, though.”

the admission slips through his lips before he can think about it. steve feels his cheeks heat up again. he wants to stop looking at billy, but the guy is practically fucking beaming now, like steve has just handed him the holy grail of compliments.

“good,” billy says after a moment. “you’re prettier when you smile.”

steve nearly falls forward and smashes his head into the mirror. he steadies himself and gives billy a bewildered look.

“did you just call me pretty?” he asks, incredulous. he should probably feel emasculated by the compliment. instead, warmth blossoms in his gut again.

“that i did.”

steve feels like his chest in seizing up. but it’s not a bad feeling. it’s more so...familiar. but also, not. because he’s felt this way about plenty of people in his life, nancy especially. but none of them, not a single one, felt quite like this.

“i’m not in love with nancy,” steve blurts, suddenly desperate for billy to understand. “i just - it’s hard. seeing them together, when i’m, well. you know.”

“you don’t have to be,” billy says coolly, tilting his head to the side. “if you don’t want to be.”

“i don’t,” steve tells him, the words slipping out before billy even finishes his sentence. “want to be, i mean.”

“good.”

billy doesn’t say anything else. he doesn’t let steve say anything else. instead, he slips an arm around steve’s waist. pulls him flush against him, and slots their mouths together.

steve quite literally melts against him. he’s not one for the corny romance novel type of shit. but he can’t deny it. everything just clicks into place at the first touch of billy’s lips against his.

when he gasps, billy’s tongue takes it as an invitation to lick into his mouth. steve has to grab onto billy’s shoulders for support, his legs completely useless. he’s lucky billy still has him tucked securely in his arms.

billy kisses him slow, he kisses him warm and soft and sugary sweet. the feeling of his stubble scratching against the sensitive skin of steve’s face is new, but it just has steve winding his arms around billy’s neck and locking his hands together behind him. he leans into billy, kissing him a little desperately.

“let me take you out tomorrow,” billy says, when they pull apart. it’s mumbled in between the soft little kisses he keeps giving him, like he can’t get enough of steve’s lips.

if that’s the case, well. the feeling is mutual.

“yes, yeah. absolutely. anywhere you wanna go,” steve agrees, a little more than breathless.

“does anywhere include that bathroom stall, right fucking now?” billy asks, nipping at steve’s jaw.

steve just tucks a lock of billy’s curls behind his ear, giving him a mischievous grin.

“you bet your ass it does.”

send me a number + a pairing!

[chaosiica]

FOR THE ATTENTION OF DR ROBBIE THOMPSON / DR JAVIER RODRIGUEZ

   Please find attached the case summery for the below client. Any and all enclosed information must adhere to strict patient confidentiality under the Data Protection Act 1998. 

   CLIENT NAME : WILLIAM KAPLAN    DOB : 08/20/1996    ADDRESS :     HOME TEL :     ALIAS : WICCAN

   Dear Dr Thompson / Doctor Rodriguez

   Due to my unfortunate and abrupt leave from the practice, I have entrusted to you the case files for the above named client. Billy has attended several sessions with me in the past, both in his adolescence and currently, and has agreed to continue his treatment with yourself, as advised.

   Initially, Billy attended several appointments following the apparent death of a teammate from his former affiliation, the Young Avengers ( it is to my understanding that Billy is now an initiate of the New Avengers, and is an associate to and may be contacted through one Roberto Da Costa ). These focused primarily on working through the tremendous guilt and responsibility that stemmed from this, and processing the idea of being the result of the heroes Scarlet Witch and The Vision’s relationship, as well as being the twin brother of Speed. I have attached the relevant case files for you. These sessions were deemed concluded, and I was pleased to hear that Billy had returned to the title of Wiccan after a brief hiatus from super-heroics.

   However, I believe his current therapy sessions may require a more ❛ slow burn ❜ approach. Billy appears to be far more reluctant in attending appointments, and is often difficult to contact and arrange further time with. Despite our previous relationship in working through his sense of being, he appears to have suffered some form of psychological trauma, and has become more difficult to gauge. He has however expressed several concerns regarding his role as the foreseen ❛ Demiurge ❜, which is a topic that has become PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT in regards to his well-being. I have attempted to discuss this with him on a number of occasions, and have often been met with complete disregard, confusion, and in some cases extreme agitation. It appears to cause a great deal of stress for him and he has cut sessions short several times due to this topic. I feel it is of HIGH IMPORTANCE that Billy works towards coming to terms with his impending omnipotence, as he currently seems to reject every and all idea of it, or shows a great deal of difficulty with connecting himself to the term.

   He has also explained numerous incidents that he describes as feeling ❝ non-existent ❞ and the contrast of ❝ feeling everything at once ❞. I understand that he is likely sensitive to the subject of his impending role, and have noted that he often feels unworthy, and distrusts himself as a magical wielder, however I believe that it is of UTMOST IMPORTANCE, for both his own mental health and the safety of the world he protects, that these situations are dealt with. I have yet to speak personally with him in regards to an official diagnosis, but from these occasions and feelings he has described for me ( albeit with difficulty ), I believe it may be some form of dissociative identity, or depersonalization/derealization.

   During our last appointment two months ago ( the most recent being scheduled for last week, with Billy failing to attend, with no contact as to reasons why ), we discussed identifying possible coping skills and developing these for the aforementioned situations of over-stimulation and disassociation. Despite several attempts, we have not been able to get in touch with Billy regarding this. For the time being we will continue to try and arrange another session with him, in which he will be referred to you for any further appointments.

   I have attached a more detailed case summary for each session Billy has attended with me, and I hope he is able to benefit from your time.

   If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

   Yours Sincerely,

   Psy D. Tim Stevens

[krugerevengeinej]

When the Water Begins to Recede Ch. 3 - Learn From Your Mistakes

Synopsis | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2

Song Inspo: Cringe -Matt Mason,  When I Was Older - Billie Eilish, Mr. Rattlebone - Matt Maeson, The Only - Sasha Sloan

AN: It is here, as promised, extra long and extra angsty! This took me so long to write, and I really hope you guys like it. Comments and rbs are most appreciated as always, tell me what you think. What did you like best, and what needs work? I crave feedback please don’t leave me in the dark.

Desc: Kaz struggles with Inej being gone, and all the chaos that is happening in the city, but is even more disturbed when she arrives from sea early with awful news.

------------------------------- 

The pain in Kaz’s leg had been a constant and bitter reminder of the current state of the weather. It seemed to echo his concern for Inej and the painful longing for her return. He’d already been frustrated by her insisting to leave as soon as storm season hit, and he could hardly bear the thought of her being held up in some foreign port as she waited for the sea to settle, or worse shipwrecked, drowned, attacked by pirates. She’ll be fine, he tried to console himself.

He needed to stop worrying, but while she might have been able to handle the pirates even his wraith—Inej, he remined himself, was no match for the ocean’s wrath. He was antsy enough it had begun to plague his already-minimal sleep. He seldom found it and when he did, she was there too, as she had been on that stack of crates, blood pouring from a wound he could not locate, and whenever he tried to help her she seemed to slip further away.

She might be swallowed by the water and he would dive in after her. He’d try to grasp for her hand, and she would flicker and vanish, so he would faze right through it.

Those weren’t even the worst dreams, no not even close. There were dreams where she never came back, where he waited for years, thinking maybe he’d caught a glimpse of her ship, but it was always a trick of the light. Sometimes she did come back, but she never regarded him, spoke to him even looked at him. He could chase her down the street, but she always ran faster.

But those still weren’t the worst, the worst was when she did come back. He’d receive the news that The Wraith had returned, but then she was nowhere to be found. He could turn the city upside down; search every crevice and scour every rooftop and she was simply gone. Yet he could feel her, she was somewhere in the city, he heard her laughter in an echoey room, saw the glint of her knives in a dark alley, and tried to get a glimpse of her shape, but it was like trying to catch his shadow. It was frustrating and confusing and terrifying all at the same time, and all he wanted was to see her again. 

It went on for three weeks, it was when she’d said her first letter was meant to arrive, but she had instead. He’d been worried as much as relieved when Pim had come into his office to inform him The Wraith was on its way into port. It was raining and great gusts of wind formed great swells that knocked the ships about.

Kaz had planned this out numerous times as he lay awake at night. He would not rush to the docks when she arrived. In fact, from now on he would stay away from her ship as often as possible. It had even been foolish of him to see her off that first time. The last thing either he or Inej wanted, was rumors about this new business of theirs. That was enough of a hassle, considering he still had so much work to do, and so much had been going on in Ketterdam.

There was his working with Wylan who was taking his father’s place in the Merchant council. As well as figuring out what the hell to do with his stake. Now that Pekka was gone the city seemed to be folding in on itself and there was lots of opportunity for new dealings and partnerships. The plague scare had worn off and left the Emerald Palace as well as several other Dime Lions’ establishments, could be bought for cheap and renovated. He’d always loved the idea of having one of his own gambling dens in the Lid.

But some bad things had been happening too, members from his gang were going missing, being tortured, beaten bloody and returned to him with alongside threats.  He had to guess it was angry Dime Lions who thought they could fill the hole he’d left, or possibly bring the Kaelish King (that’s what people were calling Pekka now) back. But they wanted revenge on Kaz and the Dregs first. This was less about information than sending a message and getting event. Oh, how the tables have turned, he thought wistfully.

He was partially grateful Inej was no longer a member, at least she wasn’t at risk. But it would be very useful to have his spider’s help with this.

Kaz’s spectacle with their leader certainly hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the barrel either, he knew that. But he’d been furious to see it in The Ketterdam Print along with a blurry photograph of him. It wasn’t particularly harmful. That didn’t mean he liked this kind of publicity. But the stadwatch certainly weren’t about to get involved in a gang war. Even if they saw him in public they weren’t cocky enough to try and pinch him.

The Dregs’ reputation had soared in the past months, He’d taken on new members and seen extra fear in people’s eyes when he walked down the street. However, it had seemed so much better when Inej was there with him, and he paced listlessly in his office as he awaited her arrival.

She still had to dock, unload and manage to think of a good reason to pick her way through the barrel to come see him without arousing any suspicion. It’d been hours, and he still paced back and forth. He was used to using Per Haskell’s old office now, though it had been a bit strange at first. It was a proper desk, with a high-backed leather chair, and the room itself was much larger than his attic one. He still slept up there, but it was an improvement to have his own space on the ground floor.

Then he felt it, the nearly imperceptible shift in the air as Inej entered the room and shut the door without a sound. He did his best to seem at ease as he turned to face her, leaning casually against the desk. He was about to crack a smile before he caught sight of her expression, solemn and cold. Her eyes were heavy with guilt and remorse and the horrid weight on an unspoken confession. He stared at her, allowing the silence to stretch out like a rope between them as she gathered her words.

Her lips parted and she blew out a shaky breath, closing her eyes for a moment, before she said hoarsely, “we lost half our crew.” In simply speaking the words, tears had begun to well in her eyes. She was clearly cutting open wounds that had just started to heal.

The silence stretched thinner, agonizingly taught as her words sunk in. He knew how much pain she was in. Inej may not have known those people for long, but she did not take lost lives delicately. Not when they had been under her command.

Tears started to stream down her cheeks, and that hurt him. Inej did not cry, he’d only seen her do it once, but she’d been joyful as she wrapped her arms around her parents. This was different, there was pain and shame in the lines of her face, and for once he understood it. Loss was a terrifying thing, so sudden and strange, but it was especially awful to lose people who put their faith in you. It was too easy to think they blamed you for it. But whatever happened wasn’t her fault, he knew that.

“It’s alright, it happens. Inej, it wasn’t your fault,” he croaked, “I know what its like to lose a crew, and whatever you think it was it wasn’t—”

“I killed eleven, fucking, people, Kaz, it’s not alright,” her voice was laced with bitter sorrow, “and it was my fault.” Her hands curled tightly at her sides, “they listened to me, t-they trusted me, and I was irresponsible. I failed them, and now I can’t bring them back. How is that alright?”

“They took the risk, didn’t they?” He spoke plainly, didn’t try to coddle her, she’d only despise him for that. She nodded. “Then how is it your fault? They knew their chances going out this late in the year, and I told you something might happen.” She stilled, her gaze sharpened on him.

“It wasn’t a storm,” Inej said lowly.

“What happened?”

“It was another ship, a slaver ship.” His eyes widened in shock, she wasn’t supposed to be attacking any ships on this mission, just spying out a slaver outpost in the southern colonies.

“Did they, attack you?” He asked hesitantly.

She shook her head, sighing shakily before she continued, “no I—I just, I knew, the ship Kaz.” Her gaze fell to the floor and realization struck him before she spoke the words, “it was the same ship that brought me to Kerch. I had to do it. I thought we could handle it, and I was wrong. They killed half our crew and they didn’t even have any prisoners. We didn’t even save anyone, and I failed them.”

He was disappointed, and she could probably tell. She’d seemed so hopeful when she bounded off into the snow three weeks ago, but now she seemed to regret even mentioning a ship.

“You’re not the only one who makes mistakes Inej,” he said, “I’ve lost crews because of stupid decisions and I’ll never forget that. You can’t learn how to lead if you don’t screw it up first.”

She wiped her tears away with her sleeve, and sighed, “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” That really was a lot to say considering how much she’d suffered through these past few years, he’d marveled at her strength but he couldn’t stand that this had nearly been enough to break her.

“I know it is,” he moved closer to her, “but you have to be the strong one when everything goes to shit, don’t ever let your crew see you like this.” That was the first thing he’d learned about leadership, no matter how bad things got people would always look up to their leader for direction, and security. If he panicked, everyone would start to panic. It simply wasn’t an option.

She reached out cautiously and took his ungloved hand. He slowly let their fingers entwine, and she smiled weakly.

“I want to find that ship and turn it to splinters,” she muttered.

Then he smiled too, “I think I can help with that.”

“Oh, how can you?” she asked.

“When you came to Kerch, you didn’t go on an auction block right? Heleen was waiting for you.”

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“Then she must have been informed by whoever picked you up,” he explained, “I’d bet good money Heleen knows who owns that ship. I’m sure with a little spy work you and I can figure it out.” He hesitated, “she’s got a lot of sources though. It may take a while, but I think we can handle it.”

She squeezed his hand and her smile widened. “Thank you, I’d be glad to stay in the city awhile if it means we can find the ship.”

“Who knows? Maybe we’ll burn down the whole menagerie.”

She actually giggled, “oh I’d really like that.” They stood there quietly for a bit, just enjoying each other’s company after so much time apart. Then suddenly a call had sounded from outside.

“Boss!” screeched Anika, “there’s another one!” Oh saints dammit not now, he thought frantically, releasing Inej’s hand and snatching his gloves from the desk. He pulled them on, grabbed his cane and sprinted out the door, offering no explanation but Inej followed him regardless.

 He threw open the Slat’s front door and pushed past the crowd of people. There lying on the ground was wiry Roeder, the boy he’d been using as a spider. He’d been absent for days, but that was nothing unusual. His face was swollen and bruised, body broken and bloody, but most important was his eyes. Inej was standing next to him and she looked in horror and confusion, one hand covering her mouth. They were nowhere to be found,

In their places were silver dimes

“Kaz what’s going on?” Inej asked.

Tag List:  @whydoineedtowriteanamehere @celestial-melodyy @literary-nerd  @otherworldsivelivedin @hysteriaas @august-cabin7 @wylansflute @ashleyking03 @thequeenofeveything @the-regal-warrior @sassydefendorflower @jxsperfahey @the-jennster @lonep55 @lupineteddy @gutsgaskarth  @city-of-fae @thewoofster @peach-sm 

[dingusandsmartypants]

So Stranger Things prompt! I have read a few fics that are similar to this, am always left w/ more ideas. Steve gets beat up hard by Billy & I have seen a handful of fics exploring the “what if Steve was more seriously injured than the show let on” w/ results mostly including concussions or seizures. But what if there were more long-term effects, like permanent brain damage or an ongoing seizure issue. Like how would Steve, the kids, and others deal w/ this? Part 1/3

Part 2/3

Who takes care of Steve since his parents seem to not exist? Would he be unable to finish the school year due to injuries & have to repeat a year? If he has an ongoing seizure condition how do the kids first react? Would he get a seizure alert dog (although I don’t think this was a thing until the 90s so prob No)? Would he have mobility issues due to brain damage (would he then get a mobility assistance dog? In case you couldn’t tell I also like fics with dogs inserted for any reason)?

Part 3/3

Would his parents then actually magically appear to take care of him? So many possibilities, but I’ll end it there before my rambling gets odder and longer… Avoiding class work seems to make my mind wander a bit……

_______________________________________________________________________

WHOOO BOY, THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG REPLY BECAUSE DAMNIT YOU GAVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS. 

Before I start I’d like to state that I have done very little research on these long-term effects, so everything I say about them may not be accurate – If I actually get the chance to write a fic based on this prompt, I will do the research, though.

WOW okay, there’s a lot to unpack here and I LOVE IT. I have so many feelings about this oh my god I don’t even know where to start. So… lets start with how the kids deal with this:The kids are super sweet and understanding while Steve is recovering (probs physical therapy). They are less rambunctious around him and help him move around and stuff when he needs it. But they are also freaked out as fuck and feel guilty as hell (especially Max cause it was her stepbrother who did the damage) because they think it’s their fault Steve’s in this bad of shape. He continually tells them it’s not and that he would do the same thing again if he needed to. They also get really nervous when Steve gets protective of them because they’re terrified he’s gonna get hurt again.

Hopper and Joyce: 

Joyce is super protective of Steve. As far as she’s concerned, she just adopted a third son. She takes him to all his doctors appointments and makes him sleep over a lot of the time when he’s been having a hard time because she wants to keep an eye on him – usually making him take her bed and sleeping on the couch herself, ignoring his protests. Steve has to stop himself from calling her “mom” sometime, even though she wouldn’t mind if she did.

Hopper didn’t really think much of it at first. He didn’t consider himself responsible for Steve, it was his own decision to protect the kids like that. But between Joyce and El constantly telling him how stupid that way of thinking was, and telling him how much Steve cared about those kids and didn’t blame them in the least, he relented and would take care of Steve when Joyce wasn’t able to. These rare instances when they were alone together were extremely awkward, but Steve appreciated it nonetheless, knowing that, even though Hopper didn’t want to admit it, he did care about Steve.

Nancy and Jonathan:

Nancy feels a little guilty about the whole thing, wondering if she hadn’t broken up with him then he wouldn’t have gotten caught up in all of this. Steve tells her that this is absolutely ridiculous and if she hadn’t broken up with him he’d just have gotten mixed up in it sooner. She checks in on him a lot and they become close friends, both realizing that their having dated in the past didn’t mean they couldn’t still be friends now. Especially after all of this – life is too short.

Jonathan and Steve are still a little awkward around each other – too much happened between them for them to not be awkward – but it’s lessened quite a bit for the simple reason that Steve is just around all time now thanks to Joyce. (Will absolutely loves Steve and accepted him into the family with open arms).

Steve:

Steve has a really hard time adapting to life after the injury. He’s used to being self sufficient and relying on himself, and now it feels like his body betrayed him because suddenly he has trouble making it to the bathroom by himself, much less fighting a bunch of monsters from another dimension. He also feels like he failed the kids because he can’t protect them like he could before. The doctors keep telling him that if he works hard at his therapy, he might be able to get back to his normal life with no side effects; but that could take years… if it happened at all. Either way, he wasn’t going to be able to play basketball ever again. [assuming seizures are part of his problems]: He hates the seizures more than he’s ever hated anything. They leave him feeling exhausted, they make him feel like he couldn’t trust his own body, and worst of all, they scare the kids. He’d do anything to make them stop – in fact, he’d do anything to have his old way of life back. He can’t stand the fact that everyone walks on eggshells around him now, or the fact that they’re all scared to leave him by himself, but the worst part of this was the fact that he was scared of being left by himself, even though he wanted time alone. It was confusing and hard and he didn’t know if he’d ever adjust to this new life he’d been given. But if it had to be like this, at least he had people who cared about him, and who he trusted with his life, taking care of him.

Are you crying yet? Cause I am. 

I think I covered who would take care of him with my headcanon of Joyce literally just adopting any kid who needs a mother because she has too much mothering energy and not enough kids to mother, I’m going to move on to if he could finish the school year: 

After about a month of intensive physical therapy, he’s told he can try going back to school if he wants to, so he tries it. He only lasts about a week before he feels to overwhelmed to continue. The school work was hard enough when his brain was working normally, but now he felt like he couldn’t comprehend it at all, even with help. And seeing Billy every single day? That just made things worse. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was scared of the guy. Maybe n the fall he’ll be able to go back. When Billy’s not there (assuming he finishes) and Steve’s recovered enough to handle the normal world better.

I think he would have mobility issues for a while, but they improve with therapy. Even so, he could definitely get a dog to help him with it. 

As for the seizures, the first time it happens in front if the kids, they’re absolutely terrified. Steve hadn’t told them about the seizures, not wanting to worry them, and convinced he could control it around when the kids were around. Which isn’t how seizures work – he knows this – but he needs to believe he can be in control. After Steve explains what happened, they’re a little less worried – at least he wasn’t dying – but whenever it happens it still scares them, even though they try not to show this to Steve.

If you want me to touch on any more of this don’t hesitate to send me more asks! I have a lot more feelings an headcanons about this, but my computer battery is about to die so I can’t write any more right now. And if you can send a slightly more plotty prompt I would totally be into writing an actually fic about this (or if you just want more headcannons about it I can do that too)! I really do love this idea, thank you so much for sending it in!!

[chaosiica]

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT THE MUN. REPOST, NOT REBLOG !  tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

NAME:  rachel NICKNAME(S):  ray  FACECLAIM:  nah PRONOUNS:  she / her HEIGHT:  5′7?? last i checked BIRTHDAY:  december 22nd AESTHETIC: anything that falls into the medieval fantasy genre. soft moods like troye sivan music and pale pastels. just not on me LAST SONG / THING YOU LISTENED TO: low by jon bellion

FAVOURITE MUSE(S) YOU’VE WRITTEN: billy’s been a hoot since the marvel fandom ( at least what i’ve been involved with ) is full of memes and for once i don’t feel pressure with writing him. and i honestly feel....like he’s one of, if not the most invested i’ve ever been with a canon character. shout out to my fallout 4 sole survivor too, he’s the most complex and intricate character i’ve written for i think, since he’s pretty much an oc due to being an rpg pc, and i still to this day think up headcanons and situations for him even though it’s been nearly like 2 years since i ran his blog

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON YOUR CURRENT MUSE (THAT YOU ARE POSTING THIS ON): uhh honestly i wanted to rp him back when i was first reading childrens crusade cuz back then i saw him as this kid who seemed to be a soft soul. it was into vol 2 where i really picked him up tho cuz. i really appreciate good writing of teenagers and young people, and as super heroes they’ve been thrust into a situation that’s life-or-death and. they still shine out a lot as being teenagers, still heckin sassy and reckless and rebellious. billy stuck out even more since he grew up into this trademark teenager who has trouble accepting himself but still having that typical teen demeanor. i love him so...much

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE: probably the fact that he’s as problematic as he is lovable. he’s reckless, he can be selfish, make awful decisions, all the expectations of a teen. but he also tries a hell of a lot. he’s golden hearted, he wants to improve, and my god, he’s a character that knows when he’s not feeling right. he accepts that his head gives him bad days and bad thoughts, and knows he’ll have good ones too, he goes to therapy, he tries his best to work through things, he’s so progressive with himself just in trying to be. recently he had his second bout of self-assurance in the latest sorcerers supreme issue, it shows that he’s still trying, he has a family, he’s succeeded a hell of a lot in his life, he’s older not but, he’s still trying his damnest with himself and what he does. he’s got all these flaws, but he’s got so many virtues.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING:  idk i don’t...really have a lot of drive or motivation but i guess things like slam poetry and other people’s purple prose are really good at getting me long-winded about things. billy as a character doesn’t suit all the flowery prose or anything like that though so i’m not really stretching to that level of detail. i’d like to, but it doesn’t seem to fit to me. he’s an angsty teenage nerd who just. really likes video-games and his boyfriend. he doesn’t have to be complex or complicated when written. it can be fancy to do, but. it doesn’t feel entirely like billy. i suppose reading the comic books helps a lot too because. i just really like the way billy’s written, especially in vol 2 and sorcerers supreme. it’s just so. good to see how he grows from asgardian and upwards.

FAVOURITE TYPES OF THREADS: i like the middle ground of novella and banter. those with a couple of paragraphs just to push the mindset and mood and the physical action, and dialog. i tend to go on tangents if i write novella style replies, and i feel bad about it since i worry if it’s really necessary, but longer replies have me grasping for words and worrying over whether or not partners want that kind of insight or if they think i’m just filling space. it’s like writing fanfiction i think, i can’t do it very well because i hit brick walls with writing more than one character at a time just from roleplay habit, so it’s entirely one big wall of internal thought or something relevant. so lighter things are nice. they give breathing room but arn’t so demanding.

TAGGED BY : @maleficarate

TAGGING : a l l