#(( INCLUDING his parents saying he probably just ran away again or got too lazy to write and just generally. not caring ))

[luminarot]

WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU?

Love as a Threshold.

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.

[eremiie]

blame it on the whiskey;

❥ 12k words | nsfw | eren x reader

❥ you and your closest friends get together for a sleepover, but there’s one issue— eren jaeger is there, but you have to stick it through for the rest of your friends.

❥ content: alcohol use, overstimulation, choking, slapping, biting, scratching, dirty talk, degradation, teasing, orgasm denial, barebacking, cum play (?), spitting

"i literally just don't understand why he's here." your complaining was filling the small kitchen, you body propped up on the island seated in the middle of the room. "i mean he's just so annoying.. i don't understand you guys, y'all-"

"listen, ___, babe, you just need to relax." hitch cut you off, strutting into the kitchen then placing her arms at your bare shoulders, fixing the straps on your tank top as she spoke. "eren is not even that bad, and he's cute! we're gonna get you drunk tonight so you don't even have to think twice about him." she runs her hand down your waist and fixed the hem of your shirt before walking towards jean, reaching around him for a bottle of whiskey, pouring herself a shot with her glass before waving her way out of the kitchen, back towards the living room.

"i don't even know why you let him bother you that much, ____." jean huffs, pouring the rest of the chips into the bowl, connie pulling sasha away before she could try to grab it. "wait until i bring it to the living room, sasha!" he hisses, passing the bowl to you to hold.

"i don't! he argues with me over everything. it's so annoying. i swear i mind my business, and then he just butts in with his smart ass mouth. connie's usually there, right connie?" connie turns towards you with a confused expression on his face, stopping his slight wrestle with sasha, irritation spread across her face at the way he was restricting her from eating the snacks for the sleepover.

it was your last year of high school before you were going off to college alongside your friends, well your friend group. you all planned to get together in celebration, hosting a sleepover party, choosing jean's house as the destination while his parents were away. you had no problem with this; however you had a problem with eren jaeger.

during your first couple years the two of you got along quite well. having been so close with connie, sasha and jean you were kind of forced to hang out with eren, mikasa and armin since eren and jean were close as well. the two friend groups along with a couple others spent time well together, all of you constantly hanging out and having fun. both you and eren's personality were too much, you were both temperate and were easy to irritate. your arguments, no matter how small also turned into something big (you always won them though). your mouth was too quick and witty for eren while his was too harsh and rough for you. after a while the arguing turned into shade and pettiness and the two of you let your pride get the best of you, refusing to turn a shoulder towards the other, a newfound "hate" forming between the two of you.

but even after all of this not one person in your friend group could deny the sexual tension between the two of you, prevalent even from the beginning.

it was funny, when you and eren's friendship first blossomed the two of you had the slightest crush on each other. although, neither of you denied it and would never act upon it. the closer you got the more handsy you got, the more flirty you became until you chose to act repulsed upon one another's mere presence in a room after realization hit, which carried on even until now.

"i mean, i don't know, i don't pay attention. everything you guys argue about is stupid anyways." connie's hand was slapped away by sasha and she jumped off the counter.

"jean, please i'll bring it over there, just let me have a couple of pieces." sasha pointed to the small bowl of sour candy, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. jean rolled his eyes and shoved the bowl in her direction. you had to admit, she looked adorable in her onesie. she was matching with connie as well. they both thought it'd be comedic to buy onesies when all of you went to the store for snacks earlier. you took in jean's appearance as well, noticing he was still in his jeans and a t-shirt, how atypical of him.

"connie carry the drinks, and ____,"

you narrowed your eyes at jean with a pout at his lack of understanding upon your situation as he came over with his arms crossed over his chest. "it's only one night, and y'all will be gone tomorrow. don't be stupid, we're all friends here so just stay out of each other's way."

"jean,"

"please? i want this night to go as planned, and perfect."

"what's your idea of perfect? getting to suck on mika-"

jean's hand clamped over your mouth anger spanning over his face, his body tilting over to the left to see if anyone was listening from the hallway. "shut the fuck up! no, i want this to be fun for all of us dumbass. if you and jaeger boy are gonna go back and forth like that it'll ruin it for all of us."

"guys hurry up, we're playing never have i ever shot edition!" hitch yelled from the living room.

you licked jean's hand and he quickly pulled it away, grimacing in disgust before wiping your saliva on your bare leg. "yeah, whatever."

you hopped off the counter, adjusting your top for the umpteenth time and pulling down your shorts, walking out the kitchen with jean to set down the bowl of chips on the coffee table in the living room. you scanned the room; on one couch lied historia, connie and sasha with jean beginning to walk over to that corner, to sit on the floor beside the couch, and on the couch parallel lied armin, mikasa and eren who was just now sitting back down, sprawling himself across her lap, taking up almost the full length of the couch causing you to sigh in irritation at the simple action. reiner sat on the floor near historia, and hitch sat on the floor with the bottle of jack daniels seated in front of her, refilling a shot glass and patting the seat next to her for you to sit.

"here, take this shot." she pushed it to your lips once you were seated beside her and you reluctantly downed it, a burn singing your throat.

"hitch, relax, i'm gonna take some shots during the game."

"it's a starting shot, girl." hitch's filled her own glass and took another shot before placing the bottle back down and smiling. "okay so is everyone playing?"

everyone nodded their head with a hesitant nod from armin.

"jaeger sit up, i need a clear view of who's going after who, and with your lazy ass sitting like that i can't tell." hitch snapped her fingers at eren from her spot below him, hitting his leg until he groaned and sat up, scooting backwards until he was upright. he ran a hand through his hair to try and tame the loose hairs in the front of his head but it was no use.

"so we all take turns asking questions, if you can't think of one then we'll just skip you. every single time you have done something you take half a shot." hitch leaned into your ear to speak specifically to you, "cause if it was a whole shot i'm blacking out by the end of this night." she burst out into laughter, jean rolling his eyes at her. "i'm going first!"

"hitch what haven't you done?" connie smirks, crossing his arm. "don't you have to mention something you haven't done?"

hitch waved connie off with a glare. "never have i ever cheated, connie." she emphasized connie's name, her comment mostly directed to him and he returned with a confused look, before he realized she was asking in regards to the game.

no ones fingers went down, hitch letting out a giggle. "so no one takes a half a shot, huh? ______ your turn."

you thought for a second about something you haven't done, before opening your mouth. "never have i ever had a threesome." no fingers went down.

"wow, not even your finger went down hitch." eren's voice spoke, a smirk danced across his face that you wanted to smack off just because. seriously you couldn't put your finger on it, it was something about him that just irritated you so much, and you couldn't pinpoint it either. you'd keep composure for tonight though, for jean.

"shut up eren. jean boy! it's you turn."

"never have i ever kissed a stranger." jean huffed at the pet name given by hitch.

hitch and eren's finger went down and they exchanged glances before starting to laugh. "eren! are you talking about that random girl at that party we went to a couple months ago?" hitch spoke through her laughter when eren nodded his head.

both you and mikasa rolled your eyes and you let out a huff of annoyance, for no particular reason. hitch pour and passed eren half a shot, both of them downing the liquid at the same time before shaking their heads.

"my turn!" connie exclaimed. "never have i ever kissed someone that's the same gender."

"connie you definitely have." eren laughed, clearly enjoying himself.

"why would i say it if i have? i haven't, you probably did! put your finger down!" the boys didn't even acknowledge historia and hitch's fingers going down until reiner spoke.

"it was definitely ymir." he chuckled to historia who put her hand over her face.

"stop!" she squealed out of embarrassment. before taking the shot hitch handed to her.

"my turn!" sasha repeated connie's words, stuffing a couple pieces of candy into her mouth before speaking again, "never have i ever had a one night stand."

a plethora of fingers went down, this included you, jean, eren, hitch, reiner, and historia. "shots, shots, shots, shots!" hitch chanted laughing before filling everyone's cup with half of a shot, sitting back down. "historia, i didn't know you had it in you, and you either _____." she smiled poking your sides causing you to squirm away. "anyways your go, historia."

"okay, um.... never have i ever... sent nudes?" her statement came out more like a question. your finger went down along with jean's, eren's, reiner's and hitch's, who proceeded to fill cups again.

"historia i'm surprised you haven't." hitch filled historia's cup wiggling her eyebrows at her. "i bet yours would be so bomb too, like your so cute and small and your boobs are like perfect-"

"hitch!" historia's hand slapped over her mouth in further embarrassment as she cut hitch off before she could go on any longer.

"reiner, your go."

"never have i ever... dated someone just to make someone else jealous."

jean, hitch, mikasa and eren's finger went down. eren seemingly uncomfortable. "wait, okay let's talk about this one—" hitch spoke. "jean who did you date and who were you trying to make jealous?"

jean let out a puff of slight annoyance. "you don't know her and i'm not saying who i was trying to make jealous."

"why? cause they're in this room?" hitch raised her eyebrow earning a hard glare from jean who didn't deny it, only flipping her off and muttering a "shut up".

"eren how about you?" eren stretched his arms out, the hem of his white shirt rising up to reveal a little bit of his stomach, before he let his hands back down. "uh, it was mina carolina, from school, but i'm not saying who i was trying to make jealous."

"you guys are some pussies," hitch drunk her half shot. "mikasa? im surprised."

"i'm not telling." mikasa simply stated.

"well then what about you, hitch?" you asked.

"two things, none of you guys know who the person i dated was, and anyways he was a bitch, second, i was trying to make marlo jealous, but he didn't fall for it, his sweet ass." she sighed. "i need another shot after that one." you grabbed the bottle before hitch could take another shot, clicking your tongue with a shake of your head.

"marlo? the one that sasha punched that one time we had a party at school last year?" armin asked with a small laugh, remembering the event.

"yup, that marlo. you guys were talking about what i haven't done, what about eren? what hasn't he done?" hitch mumbled.

"i'm sure eren isn't as bad as you, hitch." mikasa spoke in a monotone voice.

"maybe because he doesn't tell you half of the things that he does."

before mikasa could respond back to hitch's snarky comment, eren cut in, "well for starters, never have i ever slept with someone i wasn't attracted to."

"that barely counts, you're attracted to everyone, jaeger." jean said, putting his finger down.

"shut it, horse face."

"seriously? i thought you were gonna say something way more interesting than that." hitch face palmed, putting a finger down then grabbing jean's shot glass to pour him some.

"like you said, there's not much i haven't done." eren smirked looking at his four fingers down before putting up one and flipping hitch off who reciprocated, sticking her tongue out at eren as well.

"don't get cocky, honey. mikasa your turn."

mikasa sat in silence for a moment, thinking about what she could say although she didn't have to think much, she was basically a blushing virgin, her still having all ten fingers up but one. "never have i ever been rejected."

everyone's fingers went down but hitch, historia, armin, sasha, and of course mikasa's. "i'm too hot for that shit," hitch exclaimed before you shoved her finger down.

"stop lying, let's not talk about the countless times you've cried to me over men." you smirked, hitch pushing you away in a jokingly manner, she downed her shot and poured you one as well.

"armin, your turn baby."

"well," armin fiddled with his fingers deep in thought. "um... i've never you know..."

"had sex before?" eren butt in, putting his finger down immediately. armin nodded his head and everyone's fingers went down but armin and mikasa.

the rest of the game went well, jokes thrown around, more lewd questions being asked, and by the end of it eren, jean and hitch had all their fingers down, essentially losing the game. hitch was the first one out though, clearly drunk by her demeanor.

you got up to use the restroom unannounced, the alcohol filling your bladder, but no one seemed to notice you get up and leave, everyone talking about the game that was just played. you didn't feel particularly drunk, just a little lightheaded when you stood up. you used the bathroom, and began to wash your hands until the door opened outright scaring you, a small shriek coming from your throat until you realized it was eren.

that's when you got upset.

"maybe try knocking on the door first?!" you exclaimed, putting your damp hands on your waist. "what the hell, is wrong with you?"

eren rolled his eyes and looked you up and down. "my bad. you're done though, so excuse me."

you scoffed and crossed your arms in disbelief. "how are you gonna tell me if i'm done or not, i'm in the bathroom. stand out there and wait. you're so rude." you went to the towel rack to dry off your hands then turning around to see eren still standing there. "hello? did you hear me."

eren's eyes came back up to your face and he narrowed his eyes at you. "i'm rude? how? all because i accidentally walked into the bathroom when you were in here?" he raised an eyebrow at you, and you came over to stand in front of him. you didn't miss the way his eyes flickered up and down as he watched you tell him off.

"that's not what i said, i just asked you stand out in the hallway and you literally didn't leave. can i have my privacy? what the fuck?"

"you're literally just washing your hands, stop making it a big deal."

"a big deal? im sorry that i want to use the bathroom in peace. fuck off, eren. you're so annoying."

"how am i annoying? you get mad over the stupidest things.. you're overreacting." eren stepped forward, more into the bathroom.

"guys and girls, can you both shut the fuck up?" hitch stumbled towards the bathroom door, stepping in between you and eren. "both of you are being crybabies. all of us can you hear you guys from the fucking living room."

you rested your weight on your left leg, glaring at eren who just bore his eyes into yours. you noticed he was taking the situation lighter than you, not as mad as he usually gets when the two of you argue. maybe he was drunk? you let your eyes trail over his attire, simple sweatpants and a plain shirt of his, with his chain hanging out, resting on his chest. you averted your eyes and turned towards hitch.

"he apologized ____, and eren, knock next time, hun." hitch grabs both you and eren's arms. "let's all just be civil and friendly here, and... let's play body shots!" hitch slurred with a smile.

"i still have to use the bathroom." eren said. he placed his hand at your waist and moved you backwards towards the door until your feet were behind the line that separated the hardwood from the tile. "excuse me," eren said letting go. you wanted to pull away and tell him to get off of you but you were a tad bit embarrassed at the way you overreacted, not to mention you liked the feeling of his warm hands on your cold skin. "i'll come play in a second." he shut the door.

eren tended to himself, using the bathroom as well and then washing his hands, staring at himself in the mirror for a couple minutes. he retied his loosening ponytail, the same couple strands sticking out in the front and then adjusted his shirt and necklace. he shook his head, alcohol buzzing through his veins luckily he wasn't too drunk yet, and was still pretty stable but he knew hitch wouldn't die down on the alcohol, so he was bound to be fairly drunk by the end of the night, despite being a heavyweight. his hands still buzzed from the way they felt on your skin, but he quickly shook the thought away. clearly, it was just the alcohol talking for itself.

right?

you were leaning against jean on the kitchen counter as hitch explained the rules of the next game you guys would play for your entertainment. you were sure it was mostly for hitch's and to keep herself under the influence.  you could only imagine the impounding headache she was going to have, and you could envision yours too. after all you did have a good amount of shots at this point.

hitch sliced the lime into four pieces. "since mikasa and armin aren't playing, we only have to use one lime." she held up the sliced lime. "so remember, salt, shot, and then lime. you have to put the lime in your mouth and hold it there for the other person, okay? so don't pussy out."

you were skeptical about the game. it was just a sexual way to take a shot; you pour salt on a body part, lick it off, take a shot and then suck on the lime. you guessed you were in it for the thrill. "you don't have to play if you don't want to." jean looked down at you from your spot next to him and rubbed your shoulder, watching your demeanor.

"don't encourage her not to play!" hitch shook her head at jean. "we need as many people as possible so we have more players, plus we're all only going once so it doesn't matter." she used the wheel app on her phone to pick a person at random, and pick a body part at random as well.

"it's fine jean, i'm good, i'll play, just a little drunk." you murmured with a small smile, standing up straight.

"historia and," hitch spun the wheel again, seeing what boy it would land on. "and jean! ooooh," she giggled. "let's see what body part." another spin of the wheel and it landed on shoulder.

historia began to tie her hair back and said a small "i'm scared," before giggling as well and propping herself up on the kitchen counter. hitch began to pour the salt on the crevice between her neck and shoulder, historia leaning back in the slightest so the salt wouldn't roll down.

"don't put too much." jean spoke, stepping forward to stand in-front of historia.

jean simply licked up the salt slowly and impassively, holding underneath her shoulders to keep her upright. historia's eyes widened in the slightest and hitch cheered her on until jean let up and grabbed the shot of whiskey next to him downing it in one go. he blinked a couple times letting the alcohol settle before connecting his lips to the lime sat in historia's mouth and sucking on it before making a sour face and pulling away, taking the lime with him before spitting it in the trash. a mantra of claps arose from hitch, sasha, connie and you, everyone chuckling at his last reaction.

"what did it feel like?" hitch asked but didn't let historia answer before going, "i can't wait until my turn, can i just go next?" she spun the wheel from the app and it landed on reiner, her proceeding with her turn, the same thing repeating with her chest, except reiner placing the glass between her breasts, tilting the cup up to drink it when it was time to take the shot. hitch spoke aimlessly, cheering reiner on and adjusting her top afterwards with a giggle. "i'm literally gonna be so drunk!" she exclaimed, although she had to have been the drunkest one in the room already.

"okay, next," with another spin of the wheel hitch's eyes widened as she stared down at her phone before bursting out into laughter and tugging connie by his onesie. "connie look at this shit!" connie glanced over her shoulder before a surprised look danced across his face. you tried watching to see who he would look at to give you a hint of who were the next contenders but he avoided all gazes and held in his laughter, unlike hitch.

"who is it?" you asked out of pure curiosity and slight annoyance, causing hitch's laughter to roar louder. you stood on your tippy toes from your position beside jean to see if you could catch a glimpse of her phone but it was not visible causing you to step down, rolling your eyes.

"____," hitch tried to subside her giggles but they kept up, her clamping her hand over eren's shoulder for support who looked down at her a just as confused expression as you. her phone was faced down to the ground so he couldn't see who's name it landed on either, although his curiosity got the best of him and he grabbed her wrist to see the phone for himself. hitch pulled away hastily but it wasn't fast enough. "chill!" she spoke through her fit.

"and me?" eren questioned. you raised your eyebrow and eyes began to land on you in question of your reaction to the pairing. you weren't sure how to feel. of course eren and you were two ends of a stick and bickered accordingly but you couldn't help but find him attractive. you knew your stubbornness probably wouldn't let him even touch you in the slightest, let alone take a shot off your body, especially with a public audience. you didn't want them to think twice about your dislike for eren.

"i'm not doing it." you huffed, crossing your arms and almost sneering at eren.

"i mean you guys don't have to do it if you don't want to." jean repeated himself like earlier, placing a hand on your shoulder in a brotherly manner. he was still watching for a reaction from you, the only thing giving him a hint was the way your eyebrow twitched, and the questioning glance you were giving eren. hitch rolled her eyes before she grabbed her phone back from him.

"they literally hate each other of course they're not going to do it." connie chimed in.

"yeah, eren you don't have to do this." mikasa added as well quite sternly, hinting to eren that it was best for him not to either way.

eren gave her a side glance before looking at you for any sign. "i mean i'm down. it's just a stupid shot." he avoided eye contact with anybody in the room, his eyes darting around instead while playing with the loose strands of hair in the front of his head. "i couldn't give a fuck." he added, then crossing his arms as well.

"jaeger boy getting bold, huh?" reiner laughed from his position leaning against the cabinets to the side of the kitchen. eren rolled his eyes in response.

"_____ please just do it! it's just a game and it's only one time— you're literally so boring." hitch's words came out muffled, her hand covering her mouth as she spoke. "remember what i told you earlier, you just need to let go tonight. okay, eren is hot too— so just,"

"okay, hitch." you cut her off abruptly not wanting to hear more of her mouth until you realized what you just agreed to. you watched erens eyes widen in the slightest and his upper lip upturn slightly. you hoped you didn't boost his ego, you still hated his guts, you just wanted hitch to stop her rambling.

"what? seriously? get on the island then!" hitch grabbed your hand and you pulled away so you could climb on top of the island counter yourself with a small pout while hitch spun the wheel on her phone until it landed on 'stomach'. she turned the phone towards you then turned it towards eren. "stomach." she said with a smile.

"you guys don't even like each other, how is this happening?" jean mutters, but hitch caught his words and gave him her own roll of her eyes.

"just let it happen, jean, they're both drunk, they'll probably forget about this tomorrow." she whispers back quite loud. you look at her before laying down on your back with a glare, you didn't think you were really that drunk.

eren climbed off of the counter he was sitting on and made his way over to the island. "hopefully you still hate me after this." he snickers before grabbing the hem of your tank top and sliding it up your stomach until it was bundled right under your breasts. you hated the way his touch sent sparks on your skin.

"shut the fuck up and get it over with." you hiss back as he pours the salt over your lower abdomen, using his free hand to pull your shorts down in the slightest so they wouldn't get in the way.

"open up." eren's hand lingered in front of your face with a quarter of a lime for you to hold in your mouth. you glared at him for the umpteenth time and grabbed it with your hand, placing the sour fruit in your mouth to hold with the rest of it jutting out. eren poured himself some of the brown liquid into his shot glass from earlier, setting it down beside him. he didn't even warn you before he dove down right above your pelvic area, his warm tongue singeing your stomach, and you couldn't help but let out the slightest gasp, looking down at eren. one of his hands was pressed against the table the other one placed on your upper stomach, a hold on your shirt to keep it up, but respectfully (or unconsciously) he avoided your boob, his eyes trained on the substance on your stomach. another lick, and another, and another, and you didn't even realize you were biting your lip to keep from embarrassing yourself in front of your comrades. eren let the salt dissolve on his tongue and once no more resided on your stomach he pulled back with a smack of his lips, an unreadable expression on his face before grabbing the shot and downing it in one go quickly, shaking his head back and forth so it could go down smoother. his hands moved down to either side of you before he bent over you and avoided your eyes again, not to mention you did too, while sucking on the lime that was still being held by your lips. your eyes fluttered and you looked at him for a second until he disconnected. the last thing you felt was his upper lip brush against yours, sending a tingly feeling up your spine.

you sat up abruptly, bumping eren's head in the process causing him to grimace at you and stand up straight. you hopped off the table and pulled your shirt down, hitch grabbing your arm and pulling you into her grip. "you did so good, o-m-g. yay for alcohol, it's bringing my friends together!" she laughed as you pulled away from her and rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and crossing the kitchen to grab a paper towel, wiping at your stomach.

"yay for alcohol!" sasha repeats with a giggle clapping her hands causing connie, hitch and the rest besides mikasa and jean to join along.

"i didn't think she'd actually do it." historia murmured with raised eyebrows at what just took place.

"me neither.." armin responded, his hand covering his mouth with large eyes as well while clapping his hands softly from his spot seated on the counter.

"eren, you didn't have to do it you know, it's just a game." eren turned to mikasa at the sound of her voice and narrowed his eyes slightly, before shrugging it off and murmuring an "i'm drunk." causing mikasa to scoff.

jean watched you cross back over to him with a cautious face. now you could feel the alcohol buzzing. "you okay?" he murmured, a wary look on his face. was it really that shocking to everyone that you could have some fun? or was it the fact that it was with eren jaeger?

you gave him a questioning glance and then look at jean, shuffling your feet. "i'm fine, stop making it a big deal." jean narrowed his eyes as the remaining two carried on with the game, sasha and connie going by default and having planned to do it together anyways. after connie wiped his stomach, as he had sasha do what eren did to you. afterwards everyone decided to pile back into the living room wanting to end the night off with a movie. hitch, of course insisted on bringing the leftover alcohol in its bottle even though armin didn't think it was a good idea, let alone anybody thinking it was a good idea.

"pour me a little more hitch." eren said, seated behind you on the couch while hitch sat in front of you on the floor, bottle of alcohol between the two of you while connie laid against the back of the couch beside him. everyone's seating seemed to change, the group collapsing wherever they deemed fit, but you of course stuck with hitch. jean minded his own trying to select a scary movie for the group, eyes trained on the tv in front of him.

"so you want to get drunk drunk?" hitch slurred using her hand to try and uncap the bottle of liquor. you mentally shook your head and fiddled with hitch's glass that was sitting beside the liquor bottle so she wouldn't fill her own glass again. you were drunk, but not drunk enough to not take care of your friends. plus you wouldn't want hitch passing out either way.

"mikasa, help me pick out a movie?" jean said, eyes looking to the side at the ebony haired girl who stared blankly at the screen, eyes flickering between the people in front of her and the blue light emitting from the tv. she wasn't oblivious to the reason jean was asking, her demeanor made her just choose to ignore it.

"i don't have any suggestions. try searching up some recommended movies or something." jean shrugged his shoulders then whipped out his phone to oblige, meanwhile, eren reached over your shoulder, hand around his glass he carried around all night for hitch to fill. her hands were shaky and she tried her best to concentrate while slowly filling up the cup until eren pulled the glass away, a couple drops of alcohol pouring onto the floor before you tilted the bottle back upright for her.

"hitch, you're making a mess." you grumbled, then taking the bottle and closing it for her before she did anything further.

"eren you should stop drinking so much, or like get some food in your system." sasha suggested eyeing the drink in his hand. he narrowed his eyes at her then roller his eyes sipping on some of the new drink unwary.

"i'm good, i'll eat later."

"no seriously jaeger; you and hitch are the main ones who finished that bottle," connie pulled out a chip as well eyeing it then shoving it in his mouth then leaning forward to nudge eren, gesturing to the bowl for him to eat too.

"connie, stop." eren's lips twitched as he tried not to smile drunkly, swatting connie away and pushing him slightly, connie getting shoved back a little by his small push and him retorting as well. "you haven't ate anything either."

connie laughed and shoved him back, raising a fist jokingly to make eren flinch who instinctively caught connie's wrist with his hand, connie fighting back with a laugh. connie gave eren a hard shove and you flinched when you felt the liquid of eren's drink splash onto your shoulder and shirt.

"eren— what the fuck!" you exclaimed, eyes turning towards you as you stared down at your shirt, hands open at your side, the feeling of the sweet liquid dripping down your back and down the cleavage of your breasts, the feeling steadily uncomfortable. the way the liquid seeped into your clothing wasted no time bubbling up your immediate anger. "dude," you were heated, standing up slowly. "y'all play too much!"

"eren look what you did!" hitch's eyes widened, her trying to refrain from laughing in the midst of her drunken state while eren and connie just stared at your rising figure in shock.

"yeah eren, look what you did." connie mocked earning a hard glare from eren who flipped him off.

"guys it's not funny." historia gave both of them a disapproving look before watching you walk off to the kitchen, an evident attitude in your step until you disappeared around the corner.

"and you wonder why she fucking hates you." jean scoffed with an agreeing nod from reiner, while jean finally clicked a random horror film that looked scary enough since his phone didn't give him good results, his irritation at the night going downhill not failing to grow.

"shut it kirchstein, that was connie's fault not mine."

"what? you're the one who had your drink above her like that. i was just playing with you, right sasha?" sasha shrugged her shoulders at connie until he pouted and she snorted, nodding her head. "see!" he exclaimed. "that wasn't my fault."

"it doesn't matter who's fault it is." historia let her hands out of armin's hair, crossing them. "she's clearly upset, and it doesn't help that eren has been messing with her all night."

"dude, what?" eren was baffled by historia's response.

"eren didn't do anything?" mikasa's voice came out in a more questioning manner, of course quick to defend eren in her monotone voice.

historia narrowed her eyes, not seeing how eren or mikasa couldn't see the fault in his actions. "me and hitch heard them arguing in the bathroom. i'm the one who told hitch to go get them to stop because jean was getting irritated."

"why was horseface getting mad?" eren rolled his eyes.

"because you guys are always arguing! that shit is annoying, she clearly doesn't like you eren so just stay out of her way." jean exasperated, resting his chin on his palm.

"do you have a crush on her or something, huh? we were just cool like last year, it's normal for us to argue at this point." eren's feeble attempt to defend himself clearly failed, both eren, jean and even armin looking upset with him.

"that doesn't mean anything, and no i don't. that's my best friend... so shut the fuck up." jean flipped eren off as well, trying his best to focus on the movie he aimlessly picked out.

"well she did the body shots with me? she was just fine seconds ago." and eren didn't mention how you didn't slap him silly for pushing you aside the door earlier, or how he delved in that memory a bit as well.

"because i told her to have fun and put up with your ass for the day. not everyone thinks you're the shit eren, and she definitely doesn't."

eren's irritation was rising, jean's likewise, and he huffed, laying back into the couch, putting as much space between him and connie as possible in clear anger that he was struggling to control, especially with being drunk. he became more reckless and obnoxious, and everyone knew so. yet he knew somewhere in the back of his head was that he was in somewhat of the wrong.

armin patted his head to flatten down any flyaways before speaking, "historia is right, eren. she's upset so go apologize— or at least help her out." sasha and connie nodded their heads in agreement.

another puff of breath from eren before he reluctantly got up, everyone's eyes on him making him uncomfortable. he rather be a around someone he didn't like (yet found attractive in the least) then be in an environment that wasn't fond of him at the moment.

eren rounded the corner until his eyes landed on your frame, sat on the edge of the counter desperately wiping at your top with vigor in efforts to dry it. you had at least got the sticky substance off your skin while your were working at it. you didn't even notice eren standing there, simply staring, not even knowing what to do now that his friends coerced him into the kitchen. he maneuvered over to the sink and that's when you noticed his tall figure, your face immediately twisting into an angered expression.

"what do you want now?"

eren turned around with a wet napkin and began coming over to you gingerly. he stumbled over, arm stretched out to begin patting at your top awkwardly with a grumble. "they told me to come and help you."

"eren get the hell off of me." you recoiled in panic and vexation, your hand flying up to shoo eren away.

"i'm trying to help you." he spit out, his breath beginning to get heavy, and you could smell the alcohol on it your nose twitching at the scent, but then again the smell of alcohol was still present on your shirt as well.

"i don't need your help." you rolled your eyes as he continued to try and wipe at your shirt stains. the gesture was... unlikely for him, maybe he was feeling guilt curdle inside him? although at the moment you didn't care, continuing to try to get him out of your vicinity and tend to the accident on you as well.

"can you just-" but you didn't give him a chance to finish, your frustration getting the best of you and your hand flying across his face. you didn't even register that you hit him until you saw the way his head flew to the side, tufts of his brown hair flying the opposite direction, the sound of the impact going in one ear and coming out the other just as fast.

he stood still for just a moment trying to process the stinging pain on his left cheek, his thoughts jumbled as the alcohol swam through his system. immediate regret began to dance its way up you as you watched the way anger twinkled in his eyes before he let out a small incredulous laugh. "oh... i'm sorry—" you gasped, and then flinched when eren's hand flew up to pin the hand that slapped him up against the cabinet door above the counter you were still perched on. "eren, what the fuck? let go of me," you struggled to get him to let his grip go, his eyes flickering from your face to the water like stains littered on your tank top, then to your legs; spread on either side of him as he stood in between them, his grip unconsciously tightening on your wrist. he went back up to be met with your timid expression that you tried to mask with the furrow of your brows although your lip still quivered, especially when met with the darkened look of eren's eyes.

"thought that shit was funny, yeah?" he mumbled lowly, shifting a little bit to get somewhat closer to your body as you watched him from above with bird eyes that darted from side to side to watch him cautiously.

you couldn't lie— you were a little scared, which frightened you that you were scared. you, the only one in your close circle that constantly picked at eren, constantly got into petty arguments with him, and weren't afraid to constantly call him out on the ridiculous things he would say... you were all of a sudden scared? maybe it was his demeanor, you thought to yourself, the way he didn't rise his voice up at you after you slapped him, much like earlier when you were yelling at him in the bathroom, the way he didn't shy away from a intimate game with you, the way he was looking you up and down like you were prey— it was all unusual, all frightening to you to see him move like that, not to mention the vice like grip he had on your poor wrists at the moment.

"eren," you whimpered, moving your hips in an effort to push him away, but your movements only amped him up. he moved your other wrist so that both of yours were gathered in his large hand, then placed his now free hand on the counter beside you. he didn't even realize the way he was leaning in closer and closer to your neck, until you cringed when you could feel his breath right on your shoulder, panic ensuing once more, especially regarding the fact that your shirt indeed had see through splotches on it, blame the liquid.

"you've been trying me all day..." he started, voice low and as if he was talking to your neck, not even looking up at you, his eyes trained to that same spot. "first you were running your mouth about me in the kitchen,"

he heard that?

"then you were getting all up in my face in that bathroom, and all those noises you were making when we were playing body shots..."

"eren, just let—"

"and then you've been walking around in those little ass shorts, and this top all night.."

you didn't think he was just talking about you upsetting him anymore.

eren's hand slid behind your body until his hand found your lower back, scooting you closer to his while maintaining his grip on your wrist, but pulling your hands away from the cabinets. he let his hips circle against yours so you could feel him. "you feel that?" he asked you, his lips now ghosting over the space between your shoulder and neck. "you did that."

what you can only describe as being some kind of shudder that made your body twitch had ran through you at the feeling of his lips connecting with your skin, the icky feeling of your shirt was barely prevalent with the emotions running through you, more specifically down to your core. his hips stopped meeting yours but his kisses continued upwards until he pressed one to your jaw, nibbling at the skin. "_____," he breathed out, his eyes still holding that dark haze when they met with yours as you looked down at him.

"let me fuck you good."

you were giving in.

you were giving in to the boy you supposedly hated, (in your head) you were giving in to all the arguments you ever had with him, you were giving in to the betrayal that your friends might feel when they find out about your endeavors but, god— if eren's dick straining his sweats didn't feel so good against you, or if his lips kissing up your neck and staying idle beside your lips didn't make you just want to turn your head and smash yours against his...

yup, you were giving in.

you turnt your head slightly so that eren's lips could collide with yours and he reciprocated immediately, finally letting go of your wrists and letting his other hand fall behind you to your ass so he could pull you flush against him, despite the still slight wetness of your shirt rubbing on his. your mouths tasted like all the alcohol from the night but it wasn't a big deal in your semi-drunken state.

eren tapped your ass to signal for you to wrap your arms around his neck and so you did, him sliding your body off of the counter and then all but throwing you over a little more so that your upper half was looking down at the floor behind while he held onto your legs, carrying you over his shoulder. "eren, put me down if you're gonna carry me like this i can walk normally!" you hissed loudly slapping his back making him chuckle.

"wouldn't you be embarrassed if everyone heard you about right now?" eren stopped in his tracks to give you a chance to quiet down before he left the kitchen, and you took that opportunity, mentally shrinking down in his grip out of somewhat chagrin.

eren's plan was to slip past the living room and go straight towards the stairs, as they were to the left of the living room, and unless the ones occupying it turned around they wouldn't be able to see the two of you, besides whoever was sat on the couch to the right. eren began walking out of the kitchen, and you prayed nobody was looking, your vision limited to only the floor below you.

you sighed when you felt your body rise a bit, meaning eren made it to the stairs, until you jolted at the sound of mikasa voice from her position on the couch, "eren—" but he cut her off quickly with a mere,

"we'll be back in a minute."

the trek up the stairs somewhat felt like forever to you, your stomach beginning to flip at the thought of being fucked silly by someone you deemed you hated, the mere idea was pretty outlandish to you, but you knew it was quite real when eren opened the door to a particularly blank room.

of course sat the bed and a nightstand on either side, but the room was lackluster, except for a few generic paintings in a couple corners of the room and a rug detailing the carpet. eren must've knew where to go since he was generally close to jean, having been even closer to him and his family during his middle school years.

eren wasted no time throwing you on the bed, your body hitting the surprisingly soft bedspread, and you almost felt bad for the wash it would have to go through when eren was done with you; because you knew he wasn't gonna be gentle.

he also didn't waste anytime stripping away at his clothes his shirt already strewn onto the floor and his pants halfway down his legs already, while you on the other hand were already hesitant to take off the messed up garment you were still wearing, and of course eren had to comment on this; "come on, you still wanna sit there smelling like whiskey? take off your shirt." you rolled your eyes at him and you swore you saw a smirk over his face when you began to pull your tank top over your head, now only sitting there in your undergarments and shorts, criss cross on the bed.

eren strode over and grabbed your jaw harshly, pulling you in for another drunken kiss, his other hand coming up to palm at your breasts while you measly reciprocated his kiss, it being more clashing teeth and tongue then anything. once his lips were removed from yours he let the thumb on your jaw swipe over your bottom lip, pulling it down to reveal your teeth before leaning back in and letting his own teeth nibble the skin beside your ear. "i want you to suck my dick." he said blatantly, looking at you once he pulled away. you would have never thought; as many times as the two of you would banter back and forth telling each other to 'suck my dick', never did you think there would ever be a day where he said it literally. "on the floor." his voice came out more like a command making you side eye him, and cross your arms.

"why should—"

"on the floor." he repeated, making himself comfortable on the bed he was sat on while you reluctantly slid off the bed to the floor in front of him, your hands on your knees while he pulled down his boxers, his cock slapping against his lower abdomen, sitting pretty. your eyes widened, you weren't sure what you were expecting; of course eren like many others bragged about his size in a joking manner but you never took him seriously, nevertheless did you take any of your guy friends seriously. he let out a small laugh at your expression before you realized you were staring for a little longer than you should have been. luckily, he didn't make another snarky remark, instead tapping your cheek with fingers that weren't wrapped around him, signaling for you to open your mouth. "open up." he repeated for the second time that night.

"that's your favorite line, huh?" you huffed, taking him into your hands. he ignored your comment and instead placed his now free hand onto the back of your head ushering you down his length with no caution, causing you to choke slightly, your hand flying up to his knees to steady yourself and push off in the slightest. you made sure your nails were digging into his skin in response, but you weren't sure if the feeling was even pervasive, as the only sound he let out was a groan when he felt his cock be engulfed by the heat of your mouth. the hand holding your head began gripping your hair and you winced at the newfound pressure although it was soon forgotten when eren began bobbing your head up and down, the feeling of your throat being used running through your whole body.

"yeah," he moaned out as you began finding your own pace, now taking one of your hands and wrapping them around what you couldn't reach; mainly so he wouldn't try to push your limits. "you're surprisingly good at this," he choked out, and he looked down at you to catch you glaring right back up at him, a clear grimace on your face.

you pulled away from his dick with a pop and began using your fist to pump him lazily, staring up at him with a bored expression. "you should really watch your mouth when i'm sucking you off." you retorted making him let out another one of his small chuckles and letting go of his grip on your hair for a second to run his fingers across your cheek, his thumb smoothing over your swollen lips once again.

"you wouldn't try nothing."

"don't count on it."

and once again his hand returned to your hair ushering you to take him back in your mouth and you did, but this time he was in more control, bucking his hips up into your mouth ardently and throwing his head back as you treated him and pushed him towards his high.

you couldn't help yourself, the feeling of eren using your throat so carelessly sent a plethora of emotions right to your core, and you let one of your hands drift past your shorts, rubbing yourself through your underwear and feeling how aroused you were, making you let out a small whimper around eren. he looked down at the sound and noticed you touching yourself, biting his lip and slowing his assault on your throat. "you're enjoying this aren't you?" he lifted your head up and a line of saliva was connected from his member to your bottom lip, making him smirk. "you dirty slut..."

you were in no position to deny it when you had your hands halfway down your pants, so you just rolled your eyes and connected your mouth back to his tip, giving a particularly hard  suck that made him hiss and his hips stutter. "you're lucky i'm even letting you touch yourself right now..." he groaned out. "now, make me cum."

and you followed through for the most part, going back down on him, letting your tongue work him up and through, while his head held you right where he wanted to until you felt his seed shoot into the back of your throat making you cough and pull away, swallowing it anyways.

eren panted out and let go of your hair, balancing himself on the bed while using his other hand to rub himself through his orgasm while you climbed onto the bed behind him, beginning to strip your shorts, eren's eyes following along to watch you pull the fabric over your legs and onto the floor and unclasp your bra, throwing it alongside your shorts. his gaze went down to the wet spot on your underwear and you didn't miss the way his tongue slipped overtop of his lips. "so you like it when i talk to you like that, hm?" he hummed, pulling up his boxers and shimmying his sweats the rest of the way off his own legs.

eren crawled between your legs, grabbing onto your ankles and pulling your forth so that your head hit the pillow and you were now under him, his hands making their way to your thighs, grabbing and palming at them harshly before making his way to the wet patch on your panties."i bet you can't wait until i fuck this little cunt of yours." he murmurs pressing his fingers against your clit making your legs squeeze around his sides, a small gasp eliciting from you.

you moved your hand down to try and help your relieve some of the ache inside of you but eren was quicker; grabbing your wrist once more and slamming into the bed, shaking his head at you while you lolled your head back and let your hips rise up in anticipation. "look how greedy..." he taunted.

"jesus, eren, do something if you're not gonna let me," you whined, jutting your hips into the air causing eren to snicker but begin to pull down your underwear anyways. you let out a breath of relief at the feeling of the cool air hitting your wet pussy, and that breath was brought right back, getting caught in your throat when you felt eren's fingers slide against your folds.

"you're so wet... if i knew i could get you like this i would've fucked you a long time ago." he finally slid a finger into you and you sighed deeply, but that one finger wasn't enough and eren's pace was tortuously slow.

"eren, please,"

"you're begging already?" he smirked down at you and continued to pump his one stupid finger in and out of you slowly and you whined, your hips moving up in down trying to make yourself feel more full. "beg me some more then, ask for another finger, and be nice."

you put an arm over your forehead and furrowed your eyebrows, looking angrily at eren. you knew you couldn't find for dominance with eren, especially with the way he was acting with you at the moment, but you didn't want to beg either; yet how else would you get your pleasure? you had to put your pride aside for a minute and beg. "eren, please."

eren scoffed and raised an eyebrow at you. "that's all? i could stop right—"

"fuck, eren, please add another finger, please?" you huffed, and eren rolled his eyes at you but added another finger making you groan and clench around the digits. "yes, yes..."

eren made himself comfortable, leaning down on the bed and positioning himself somewhat beside you, his palm supporting his head and your leg trapped underneath his armpit now, while he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of you until he curled them and made you buck your hips into the air. "uh huh, right there!" you yelled out when he hit your sweet spot.

eren moved his fingers away from the spot and continued his normal pace causing your hand to fly down grab his wrist. "eren, go back!" you cried out and he ignored your pleads.

"you can do better begging."

my god, what did he want from you?

"eren, oh my god, please just do that again."

"not good enough."

"eren—"

"you don't sound like you really want it."

this boy was gonna be the death of you.

"i want your fingers... please, hit that spot again," you twisted his wrist so his fingers would point upwards inside of you again. "right there, eren... please, for me?" you begged him, letting your hips grind down into his fingers and you almost choked out when you felt them hit that same spot. you were so close, you could feel that bubbly feeling in your stomach and your jaw dropped open, you were so close, you were so close you were—

he stopped.

he fucking stopped.

"eren!" you screamed your claws once again digging into his wrist with a sob. "why, why, i was almost there!"

"i know." he said blatantly, watching you squirm from beside him that same bored expression you had earlier detailing his face tauntingly.

"then go!" you sobbed and slapped at his upper arm repeatedly until you felt his hand back in your hair tugging harshly, your head jerking back and him now closer to your face. "please..." you felt like you were saying for the umpteenth time that night.

he leaned towards your ear, letting his hand loosen from your head. "talk to me nicely before i leave you here to get yourself off." he mumbled before letting his fingers continue to drive inside of you while your hips pushed down to meet them to build up that same feeling from earlier, this time eren not stopping until you let out a scream of his name, your eyes rolling to the back of your head and you creaming on his fingers, your juices coating them, causing a lewd sound to elicit as he pulled them out.

your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath, but you were quickly forced to breath through your nose when eren's wet fingers entered your mouth making you taste your own release. "suck," he told you, and you were too tired to try to do anything slick back, letting your tongue swirl around them and pulling off giving him the opportunity to come down and kiss you, slipping in his tongue quickly so he could taste you as well. "good job." he watched as your body still convulsed slightly from your orgasm but that didn't stop him from pulling you by your waist and flipping your body over effortlessly.

"'m gonna fuck you so stupid."

eren wastes no time pulling down his boxers for the second time and kicking them away while you raised your hips just wanting him buried inside of you as soon as possible. he came up behind you,  using his palm to push down your back some more until it was arched completely, running his hand back up your spine and giving your ass a good slap. he rubs his dick against your folds teasingly, waiting until you let out a whimper to push his head in slowly, both of you groaning simultaneously. "fuck," eren sighs, continuing to push himself in until he bottomed out. "so tight,"

eren begins to pull in and out of you slowly, getting used to the feeling of your walls wrapped around him, his face scrunched up in pleasure much likes yours, your hands gripping the sheets so tightly and you couldn't help but moan out eren's name. he snaked his hand up to your neck, leaning forward so he was pressed against your back until he pulled you up so you were flush against him. he began to pound into you more fervently, your ass clapping against his lower abdomen, the two of you moaning out together.

"shit," eren kissed your shoulder and bit down slightly harder making you wince against him and his hands tighten around your neck tantalizingly. "you like when i fuck you like this? when i use you like this?" his lips returned to the spot he bit, sucking a hard mark and then coming back up, pulling you against him harder while he fucked into you harder. you tried to suck in a breath but his grip around your throat was strong, so your jaw hung open no air coming in until you tapped eren's thigh causing him to release his grip so you could suck in a breath. he resorted to give you a break, his hand going up until they had you opening your mouth up so he could place his fingers in your mouth, holding it open and spitting into it making you whimper and clench around him. he pulled the digits out and let his hand trail back up your hair for the umpteenth time and pulling your head to the side so your neck was bare to him, letting him suck dark marks into your soft skin while he drilled you.

"cause you're a whore for shit like this, right? letting me spit in your mouth like that..."and the words coming out of his mouth made his hips stutter and groan, him finally letting your body fall back into an arch while he moved his hands to your hips and pulled you back on him while he fucked into you more, nails digging into your skin, and you could already see the bruises you would have the day after. the pleasure quickly was becoming too much, the feeling of eren's saliva sitting on your tongue, the way each one of his strokes his so deep inside of you, the way he treated you so roughly all had tears collecting in the corners until you were screaming for the second time that night, your hand gripping impossibly tight at the sheets and one flying backwards trying to find eren's thigh to grab at as well while your orgasm crashed over you again abruptly.

"eren!" you sobbed out letting eren pull the hand that was searching for his leg back so your head was slightly lifted off the bed, your breasts bouncing with each of his thrusts.

"fuck, 'm gonna cum.." eren panted, feeling your walls pulse around him as you came, soaking him even further. his forehead was sweaty and causing the flyaways in the front of his bun to stick to his forehead as well as his abs to glisten in the slightest from behind you.

"cum inside me..." you blabbered out, jaw still strung open from the pleasure flooding your body.

eren hissed as he felt himself climax as well, cumming inside you and filling you up, his movements stopping and his chest resting against your back, one hand on the bed to hold him up over you. once he was a little calmed he slid out of you and spread one of your cheeks to watch his cum attempt to drip out of you, but he stopped it, using his fingers to push it back inside of you, his mouth in an 'o' shape as he watched it, feeling himself already feeling hard again, and he still wasn't satisfied yet. "'m not done yet," he heaved out and watched as your hips fell to the bed. "one more round."

"am i that good?" you said with your finger pulling down your bottom lip as he dragged your hips down to the edge of the bed and turned your body over harshly. seeing your fucked out face in front of him was such a turn on, tear streaks down the side of your face, your lips swollen and a crease between your brows from eren's constant onslaught.

"shut the fuck up." eren slipped right back into you, feeling his own cum around him that he forgot about for a brief moment. he thrusts into you harder, making your body jolt repeatedly, your tits bouncing and him grabbing onto one, twirling his fingers around your nipple before grabbing at you breast hard making you hiss and grab his upper arm, dragging your nails down it.

"make me." you snapped back with your nail still embedded in his skin.

eren gave you a surprised look at your retaliation and snaked his hand around your throat once more. "you got some nerve talking to me like that when i just fucked your lights out."

you twisted your face and took it upon yourself to spit at him, your saliva landing on his cheek and he gave you a look of shock making you smirk at him until his eyes glowered over, his hand around your throat coming up to slap your face like you did to him earlier, and in the same manner your head flew to the side. luckily, he didn't slap you too hard but you could still feel the stinging sensation filling up the side of your face. "fuck is wrong with you?"

"fuck you!" you retorted as he wiped your spit on your sternum and slapped away the hand that was clawing at his upper arm.

"aren't you already doing that dumbass?" and he gave you a brief reminder, his hips bucking up into you harshly making you let out a gasp. "i guess you forgot."

you let your hand fly over your mouth when eren's cock brushed over that same spot from earlier as he lifted your hips slightly to try to get a deeper position in efforts to cum, but you were steps ahead of him; your stomach turning as his dick hit your g-spot again and again, your vision hazing over as you climaxed for the third time, no noise even coming from your throat, eren only knowing from the way your body began twitching and the way you clamped around him.

although, that didn't stop his pace, him essentially overstimulating you.

he rode you through your high and beyond, the feeling of your wetness around him mixed with his own cum edging him forward trying to reach his own high. the feeling of his pelvis rubbing against your clit once he lowered his hips had you trying to crawl away from the overstimulation as he leaned over you feeling how close he was. "_____..." eren puffed, leaning into your neck as he continued to drill into you. "god, 'm gonna cum again..."

you couldn't even respond, trying to keep in your own cries as tears streamed down your face again while eren groaned against your neck, the vibrations being felt through your chest. his hips stuttered once more but this time he pulled out, rubbing himself a few times until his cum sputtered onto your chest and stomach, another moan being let out from him followed by another large huff of breath before he collapsed onto the bed beside you. "god... _____." you couldn't even respond, your body still shaking slightly and your eyes closed while you continued to let out small snivels and whines. his eyes trailed over to you, looking at the dried tear stains on your face, the hickeys splattered across your neck, his cum painting your chest and stomach, the bruises on your hips, your swollen clit and puffy pussy, and his cum slicked near your entrance. "i fucked you up."

eren got up and in record time came back with a wet rag that you could care less about where he got it from. he wiped you up, the feeling of the warm water comforting you, your body finally calmed down. you sat up once he left the room once more and looked around, quickly realizing you couldn't put back on your dirtied shirt. you sighed and realized you would have to go back downstairs to grab one where your bag filled with your belongings was. eren came back in the room and grabbed your underwear and shorts for you, handing you the ladder and stuffing your panties into his pocket.

"what are you doing?" you asked looking at the undergarment hanging out of his sweats that he had put on earlier before leaving the room.

"keeping these." he smirked at you while you sat there with a pout.

"eren, i need those, i can't go down there... my bra and shirt are dirty and i need to grab clo--,"

"i'll go grab all your stuff for you."

"i still need my underwear." eren ignored you, shuffling out the room and heading back downstairs. once again, pretty fast, he came back in the room handing you your bag. "i'm gonna take a quick shower..." you looked up at eren who was still eyeing you, his eyes flickering to various parts of your still bare body. "are they awake?"

"everyone's knocked but armin, mikasa and surprisingly hitch, i thought she would've passed out by now. i'm pretty sure they heard us judging by the way they looked at me."

"oh..." you looked down at your bag and felt a little better about the confrontation you would have to face tomorrow. "...can you wait for me?" you asked hesitantly, eren's eyes gleaming at your question.

"yeah, i'll wait."

                                                          ❀ ❀ ❀

you were now changed out, eren having thrown the sheets and your clothes into jean's wash, which now gave you a good idea of how close he actually was to your friend, despite how much they argued much like you and eren. "you good?" eren asked, laying on the bed with a new pair of bedding on top, him laying on the duvet.

"yeah..."

"you sure? you're walking funny." you flipped him off and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. "you ready to go back downstairs and pretend this never happened?" he asked you a slight edge to his voice even though you knew he meant it in a joking manner.

"wait, can we talk about all this first?" you turned your body to eren. "so are we still gonna pretend we hate each other or whatever? or are we cool now?"

eren pondered on your question for a minute. "depends, do you still want everyone to think we hate each other, or do you genuinely want to be cool? i mean i just fucked the sh--"

"eren, shut up." you cut him off quickly with a raise of your hand. "we can talk to the ones who are up right now because they're obviously gonna ask questions, especially hitch..."

"so what? everyone else is just gonna see us become buddy buddy?"

"we're obviously still gonna argue, eren, that isn't gonna change because of your ass... i just won't pretend i hate you so much."

"so you were pretending to hate me?"

"you're the one who wanted to fuck me."

"and you went along with it."

"this is why i hate you."

"i thought you were pretending?"

"i wasn't."

an awkward silence loomed over the two of you before you both burst out into laughter that died down quickly. "you're so stupid." you said before standing up. "c'mon, let's go."

as the two of you headed downstairs you first headed for the kitchen to drink some water before you were gonna knock out on the couch, hitch already in there bent over the sink.

"you okay?" you asked her as you headed for the fridge.

"no, my head hurts like crazy... i took a little nap and when i woke up my head was pounding."

"it was all that alcohol." you chuckled, plucking a cold water bottle from the fridge.

"yeah? and was it all that alcohol that made you go fuck jaeger? i mean i know i said he was cute... i think, but--"

"you heard that?" your eyes widened as you turned around towards her, a smile tugging at her lips.

"honey, i think we all did, half of us just tried to block it out with the movie."

you slapped your hand against your forehead, your initial plan to fall asleep on the couch then pretend nothing happened wasn't even available anymore.

"jean's gonna kill me." you muttered before opening your water bottle and taking a swig of the liquid that cooled your sore throat.

"yup, jean's gonna kill you." and you could only glare at hitch because, well... she was right.

"i'm blaming it on that stupid whiskey if he asks." you said before walking out the kitchen.

"you can't blame all your problems on alcohol!" hitch replied before you turned the corner with a shake of your head.

[cardiolove]

parents - byler

a byler fic kinda inspired by “parents” by yungblud

“I was born in a messed up century” 

that was definitely true for the two boys, being born in the 70′s and growing up in the 80′ s sure meant that they we’re born in a messed up century, the 20th one being full of war and genocide and death.

“my favorite flavor sweets are Raspberry amphetamines”

the 80′s were definitely full of drugs. A lot of people did them, including Steve and Robin (as seen in the episode where they see “back to the future”) 

Mike would probably try them to look cool but, Will would never touch them since he thinks it would just make his thoughts worse( even if that’s probably not the case, it would actually take his mind off of it)

“ I bought a car ,Beretta , age 16″

If any of the kids would get a car it would either be Mike or Lucas, probably Mike though. He 100% learned to drive with his father’s car in secret, probably bumped it to but found a way to fix it before bringing it back, because as we all know, he’s just like that.

“I brush my teeth with bleach”

Will probably obsessively brushes his teeth ever since the slug incident, as he most probably remembered it, and it’s taste, so he’s trying to brush the memory away but he never seems to succeed in doing so.

“ I ain’t got time for cavities” 

Contrary to Will, Mike probably has cavities, and never goes to the dentist to fix them up. He just always either forgets, is too lazy or doesn’t have the time to brush his teeth. Will finds this fact disgusting but you can’t argue with that idiot curly-head.

“My daddy put a gun to my head, Said if you kiss a boy I’m gonna shoot you dead”

Mike’s parents were one of the homophobic people in the 80′s so Mike being threatened by his father that he will be killed if he is gay wouldn’t be such a surprise. So as to hide his orientation from the world, he just acts homophobic because we all know that you can’t be homophobic if you’re homosexual, right?

“So I tied him up with Gaffa tape, I locked him in a shed”

One time Mike was home alone with his dad and something about the LGBTQIA+ community came on TV and his dad started being homophobic and Mike had enough of it so he somehow managed to over power him, wrapped him up in Gaffa tape, locked him in their shed and left.

“then I went out to the garden and I fucked my best friend”

the place he left to go was none other than Will’s house. They didn’t fuck obviously since they were too young but the moment Mike saw Will, he ran towards him and kissed him without thinking or warning the poor smaller boy beforehand, therefore shocking him

Will taken by surprise let out a small noise as to say “wtf?!” but in a good way. He quickly kissed back though, finally being kissed by his crush that he had hidden about 2 years. Sadly Mike pulled away the next moment realising what he was doing.

“I’m so fucking sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me” Mike stuttered out embarrassed, he hid his face that was almost as red as the shirt that was too big on Will’s smaller frame that he had probably stolen from his older brother.

Will didn’t respond verbally, he just grabbed Mikes face and kissed him again as a response and this time Mike was the surprised one, he was expecting any other reaction from him but what just happened to him was definitely a good thing so he was not complaining

[sneakydraws]

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 

[aclosetfan]

This is a really incomplete idea BUT it’s about Brick’s hat(s). And hopefully someone else finds this and enjoys it! More under the cut, it’s a long post :)

I think it’d be funny if boomer and butch get him a shitty novelty hat for birthday/holidays/etc because 1) they don’t know what to get him 2) they’re like 12 with four buck to their names. so they just go from charity shop to charity shop looking for ideas. Brick probably doesn’t ask for much (I don’t think any of them do. poor kid syndrome amiright? I personally never think they’d be well off in childhood).

So anyway butch and boomer are bumming through the charity shops and boomers like:

“Holy shit, Butch!”

“Wut?” Butch looked over pulling the charred and ruined Halloween mask that someone had donated for god knows what reason off his head.

“Dude it’s perfect!” Boomer came running from three aisle over, waving a garment around in the air.

“It’s a hat.” Butch pointed out bluntly, unimpressed, and pointed to the mask atop his head, “I think we should get this.”

“But it’s red!”

“He’s got one of those. Wears it frequently.”

“But not like this!” Boomer boosted, “See.”

Boomer turned the hat around, so Butch could see the bill of it. It was one of those novelty snapbacks, inscribed on the front was the playboy bunny logo.

“Dude.” Butch smiled, giggling with Boomer, albeit a little nervously.

He was familiar with the playboy bunnies work, it wasn’t like he was a virgin or anything (except he secretly was), but he had never actually seen a genuine centerfold spread like some of the older boys at the detention hall had talked about. When he thought of playboy, he thought of the Victoria Secret models he saw plastered to the side of the store at the mall. They made him feel weird and his hands would get all sweaty, so he tried his best not to look too closely.

“Dude we should get him this!” Boomer continued to smile, “It’d be, like, so funny.”

“Yeah.” Butch nodded, as his smile grew. He didn’t 100% get why it was so funny, but the idea of having something with the playboy bunny logo on it seemed cool to him. It made him feel kind of like one of the older boys.

Him and Boomer snickered all the way to the cash register, and when it was their turn to pay, Boomer nudged him ahead, ducking behind him with a giggle. He glared at his brother over his shoulder, but allowed Boomer to twist a nervous hand into the fabric of his oversized sweater (the one his brothers had bought him last year. They bought it 3 sizes too big cause he kept growing out of everything too fast. It was 1 size too big now). Boomer liked latching onto their sleeves when he got nervous.

He didn’t get what the big baby was so nervous about though. They were just buying a stupid hat. The lady cashier watched them with thinly veiled boredom and Butch threw the hat down on the counter.

Raising a penciled on eyebrow, the older women examined the hat, “Playboy, huh? You even know what Playboy is kid?”

The question made the back of his neck burn. He had never heard a lady say playboy before, it was weird. From behind him, Boomer pressed his face into the back of his sweater to muffle another giggle.

“Uh, duh.” He sniffed, “We know, lady.”

“Have you actually seen a playboy before?” The cashier snorted, ringing them up, “Not just the logo?”

“Yes!” Butch huffed, defending himself, “The Internet!”

(It was a semi-lie—they had tried looking it up on the internet, but Fuzzy didn’t have a computer at his cabin, HIM wouldn’t let them use any of his flashy spy monitors, Mojo was lame, and the library had parent controls)

“Surreee.” The lady drawled out and rang them up, “Dollar fifty.”

He didn’t make eye contact with her as he handed over a crumpled dollar bill and took two quarters from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny. When she gave them back the hat, they ran out of the store like they had committed a bank robbery.

When Brick opened the present two days later, he threw the plastic bag it had come in to the side and frowned.

“A new hat?”

“Yeah,” Boomer nodded, putting down the cheap Polaroid camera Butch and Brick had shoplifted from a secondhand shop downtown (still too expensive to actually buy), and reached for the hat, turning it around in Brick’s hand, “but look!”

Brick’s smile grew, as the logo registered in his head. “Oh, shit,” their brother laughed, “is this playboy?”

“Betcha you won’t wear it.” He goaded his brother on as he tossed the new (used—looked like it was taken from Pokay High’s sports department) rugby ball from hand to hand.

“Betcha I will.” Brick shot back, carefully removing the ratty cap he had had since forever and replacing it with the new one.

“Sorta big.” Their brother murmured, adjusting the strap.

“Your fat head will grow into it!” Butch joked and Brick punched his arm.

“Shut up, dipshit.”

“Do you like it?” Boomer beamed, ignoring the bickering.

Brick looked at their brother with a smile, precious anger dissipating, “Yeah, dude, it’s funny.”

———————————————————

Then it becomes a thing//like Brick really loves his hat collection:

“Truckin’ ain’t easy.” Brick read out loud with a snort, and replaced the hat he was wearing with the new one.

He thought for a moment then shook his head no, “nah. Not today.”

He had so many hats to chose from, it was almost overwhelming. They were all basically offensive on every level and he tried to wear them all as often as possible. The highlight reel included:

Kitty gang

Swag.

Yolo.

Lmao.

Weed jokes. Lotta weed jokes.

Thrasher.

Fish love me. Woman fear me.

Met god. She’s hot.

Blow me for luck.

Beer drinkers get more head.

The carpets do match the drapes

FuCk

Birthday Bitch

Deadass fuck thots on god

Hello I am Mr. Cunt

Master Baiter

Drive fast. Eat ass.

At 17, he had a vibrant hat collection. Anytime his brother’s saw a red hat with a shitty gag, they snagged it for him. Recent political events had bestowed upon his brothers a plethora of new material:

Make racists afraid again.

My other hat’s tin foil

Made you look

The list went on. His fuck cops wasn’t popular with local authorities. And how could he forget his most favorite powderpuff girl cap. That pissed them off to no end.

“Brick!” Butch yelled down the corridor. They were at Mojo’s this week, “Hurry up!”

“Uuhhhhh,” he mumbled to himself, as he stared at his wall, ignoring his brother. He hung them all up to make it easier to chose. His collection covered the wall.

His hand floated left to the one that said FuCk, but the one that said bad hair day caught his eye and his hand twitched to the right, “uuuuuhh, hmmmm.”

He floated toward the ceiling to look at the top of the wall, “welllllll...”

They’d be fighting with the girls today and because he liked making Blossom mad, he figured he needed to chose something more crude.

“Oh my god!” Butch cried outside his bedroom door, “Just fucking pick one!”

“Mmmmm.”

“Brick!” Butch pounded on his door, “I swear to god, I’ll burn them all if you just don’t pick one!”

“HMMmmmmmm!”

“Brick, it’s been thirty minutes!” Boomer whined, joining Butch, “The girls are waiting, we can’t cancel on them again! We’re bad guys, but we aren’t bad guys.”

“Ahhhhh—“ he sucked on his teeth in thought, “five more minutes!”

His brothers groaned in unison from the other side of the door.

“This is your fault, Boomer.” Butch whined.

“How?!” Boomer protested.

“Cause I wanted to get him that mask.”

————————————————————

His hat—his first hat—is lovingly preserved. He can’t risk losing it or damaging it any further. Before they started buying him new hats, most of the boys misadventures (the chaos they did NOT plan) were dedicated to saving Brick’s hat from the clutches of (insert one-shot villain here). It’s his security blanket. He breaks it out on the lazy days in.

He does though often lose his novelty hats. A violent gust of wind will rip one from his hat or a fight will cause it to disintegrate. But because Brick considers being the hat guy a personality trait, I think he’d have a spare one on hand at all times:

“My hat!” He cried, as the tornado-like monster blew through Townsville, ripping his hat from his head, and then disappeared into thin air, “the fucker took my hat!”

“Brick!” Blossom cried over the wind, “calm down! It’s a hat!”

“Yeah my hat!” He argued back. He wasn’t fond of the idea that him and his brothers and the girls now had to cooperate with each other, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Butch! Boomer! I want my hat!” He hissed and his brothers nodded, understanding immediately what he meant.

“Right!” Butch dropped Buttercup, forgetting whatever fight the two had found themselves in.

“Got it!” Boomer jumped up from where he had been sitting on Bubbles, squashing her to the ground.

“What was that thing!” Brick barked at Blossom and she wiped the blood from her nose.

“I only know as much as you do, considering it literally just happened. Maybe it has to do with air—“

She cut off and looked at him, as he adjusted his emergency back up hat onto his head.

“What!” He hissed when he realized all three of the girls were giving him odd looks.

“Dude,” Buttercup asked from the ground, “do...do you just carry extra hats around?”

“Of course I do!” He spat, disgusted that they’d think so low of him not to, “Extra hat,” he pointed to his head, “emergency beanie,” he pulled one out of his pocket, “and extra hair ties,” him and his brother lifted up theirs wrists. “We live by the aesthetic, we die by the aesthetic, anymore questions?”

“Yeah!” Boomer huffed in his defense, “what’s it fucking matter to you anyway!”

“Don’t you three have bigger issues to worry about then our business?” Butch hissed, kicking at Buttercup.

Buttercup rolled away from the kick, dodging it with a laugh.

“What’s so funny!” Butch demanded and Buttercup shook her head, ignoring Butch and pointing up at her sister.

“Holy crap! He really is your counterpart, huh? You guys are perfect for each other!” She laughed wheezing. 

“Hey!!” Him and Blossom bristled together, “Shut up!”

————————————————————

When he learns that over excessive hat use can lead to hair breakage and premature balding his heart breaks, so he starts buckling them to his belt loops instead when he remembers to give his hair a break.

[sidecarghost]

Spn Pride Week - Day 3 Trans

AU human!Cas is human and no supernatural. Trans man Dean talks to Cas about how his mom and dad failed at supporting him when he was four years old. Cw: transphobia (no derogatory terms just John is an ass and Mary rather keep their home life calm so she enables his bigotry and fails to be supportive of Dean)

"Dean?" Cas’s voice interrupts Dean’s reverie.

"Mmhmmm," Dean's face is nuzzled between Cas's shoulders, so making intelligent words isn't easy.

"Would you be comfortable about telling me when you found out you were a man?" Cas asks in his deep, soft voice.

Dean sighs. He wants to tell Cas everything, but some stories are just so sad. Dean isn't sure that he can share those stories and still be himself afterwards. He'd like those stories to float down a river and sink into the ocean, where no one can ever find them again. Including Dean. Especially Dean.

"I don't want to pry Dean, but if you are alright sharing that with me, then I would like to hear it and know you better," Cas's voice is gentle like a breeze, and Dean wants to roll himself up in it. The voice would shield him from anything that was attempting to impale and destroy him.

Dean is glad that his face is nuzzled into Cas's back. Maybe he can share this story as well supported as he is. He has the man he loves wrapped in his arms, and he gets to nuzzle into him like a pillow. Everything seems safe, warm, and otherworldly, if Dean was going to tell Cas unsettling things that give him nightmares then this would be the right place and right time to do it. If only he wasn't always so scared. If only he wasn't so broken.

"Always," Dean whispers into the neck of the man he loves. "I always knew, ever since my first memory." Dean exhales and inhales. Dean closes his eyes and tries to squeeze out the pictures of the past that spring up in his mind. He tries to bury the contempt of his father's face. He seeks out a gentler memory instead. Dean brings to mind one of the last conversations he ever had with his mother. "My mom knew I was a boy, and after she died it would be ten years before anyone else knew again.

***

"It came up, back when I was four years old and Sammy was still a baby. Everyone kept congratulating my mom and dad over the birth of baby Sammy, they told my parents that Sam would grow up to be a strong, handsome man. And I didn't understand. I wondered how could these strangers possibly know that Sam would grow into a strong, handsome man? Couldn't he just as easily grow into a strong, handsome woman? I asked my father why everyone thought Sam was a boy, and he told me that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Then he laughed and said something like 'out of the mouths of babes' and ruffled my hair. I didn't understand how my dad could be so sure, but I also didn't want to ask my dad to explain, because he didn't like lengthy explanations. He had taught me that lies take a lot of words to explain, and the truth is always simple, and when I asked him to explain what he meant he struck me. Because I was guilty of talking back and giving him lip. So I knew better than to ask my dad to elaborate.

"Instead, I sought my mom out to see if she could help me understand, and I remember I was so sad that it took a lot of will power to bite back crying. I knew I shouldn't be sad, because my dad explained to me that being sad is the same thing as being lazy. If you have enough energy to cry you should have enough energy to fix whatever mess made you feel bad in the first place.

"So I put on my brave face, and I asked my mother why I had to be a girl. My mom had been rocking baby Sammy, but she looked right into my eyes with all her attention focused on me. Like my question was important and serious, and not a joke like I worried it might be from my dad's reaction. She told me that was nonsense, and that no one ever had to be a girl. My mom told me about her own mother Deanna that had been born as Dean, then learned she was a girl and changed her name. Then Deanna married Samuel, and he had been born with the name Samantha, until he let everyone know he was a boy and changed his name. My mom told me no one can look at you and know if you are a man or a woman, only you know for yourself.

"Cas, I don't know if I can ever properly explain how wonderful that story was to me. I had been ready to bawl my eyes out that I had been born wrong, but my mom told me that wasn't true at all. My dad was the one that was wrong, because everyone knew that Deanna was grandma and Samuel was grandpa. There was never any doubt. I was so happy. Maybe that was the last time I was ever truly happy. I imagined myself telling my dad that he made a mistake explaining things to me. In my head, my dad would laugh over how silly his mistake had been, and then he would ruffle my hair and tell me that he was sorry about that. He'd pull me into a hug and say he was so proud to have two sons. I would return the hug as big as I could, and then tell him we should probably wait until Sam can talk to make sure we don't make another mistake." Dean wishes that was the end of the story. The images of a lifetime ago of a happy homelife that he imagined in his head could have been reality. It all seemed so possible back then.

"Your mother sounds like a very caring person, Dean," Cas says softly.

"She was caring, but things between us were never the same again. I think she cared a little too much about keeping things peaceful and avoiding conflict. Sometimes you need to fight for something you love," Dean says wistfully. "Anyway, before I ran off to tell my dad his error, I asked my mom why dad didn't know that. Why did dad think you can look at someone and assume they are a boy or girl without ever asking them?

"My mom got really still at that question, and she looked so sad like her spirit had been dragged away and she'd never be able to reach it again. When she answered my question her voice was distant and cold, like she was just saying the words but they had no meaning. My mom told me that sometimes people fear things that aren't the same as them, and this fear leads them to hate things. She told me it was like a disease that would eat at people's thoughts and turn them the wrong way. People with that disease would judge others without ever even meeting or knowing them.

"My mom told me that John wasn't a bad man. John was just suffering from a bad disease. Sometimes the disease is incurable, because it takes a very strong will to admit when you are wrong and that you've done wrong to others. My mom told me I must never let my father find out I'm not a girl, because as long as that disease clouds his thoughts he will hate me. She told me that she would pray for John to be cured of his hatred, but in the meantime I would need to conceal who I was and act like I'm a girl. I told my mom I was afraid of my dad hating me, and my mom told me that I could pray to the angels that watched over us if I needed protection. I had never seen angels, but my mom had faith in them. I kind of understood faith meant you believe something without proof. So I told my mom that I would pray for their protection, and I would pray to them to help dad get better, too.

"I didn't tell my mom, but I also prayed that Sam would never catch John's hatred disease, because I loved my little brother so much. I didn't want Sam to hate me.

“The prayers my mom made weren't answered before her death. There was a fire in our house, and my mom didn't make it out alive. Sam was still a little baby, and I held him close and carried him to safety. My dad tried to save my mom, but he couldn't reach her. He told me that the fire was supernatural, because of the downfall of society. He told me that monsters were being sent to punish everyone, even the innocent people like our mother, because bad people failed to obey God and his plan for how we should live. I didn't care about God, his plan, or his monsters. I just missed my mother, and I wanted to weep because I'd never get to hear her voice or see her smile again. But I knew my dad would strike me if he saw me crying, because I should be fighting the monsters that did this and not be indulging myself in sadness.”

"Dean, you know your dad didn't have a disease right?" Cas asks. "He chose to be a bigot. Calling it a disease is just a way to keep him innocent of blame, but every hateful thing he ever did to your mom, Sam, and you was his choice. There was no disease or monster to blame."

"Yeah, it took me too long, but I eventually figured that out, too," Dean replies.

//this excerpt is from ongoing story on ao3 see tags for link

[justjessame]

Starting Over Chapter 17

Now I know most people would think that hearing their best friend dangling a carrot of temptation like “did you go through ANYTHING in the shed” would have them rushing out with a flashlight to their backyard and unlocking the damn thing to see what might be waiting for them.  Or at the very least, since it was starting to grow dark, a slightly less dramatic start might be the bedroom across the fucking hall from theirs?  

Yeah, well, I’ve never really checked the “normal” box on any fucking form and coming back from where the fuck ever Thanos the big purple peckerhead snapped me off to didn’t change that personality trait.  Sorry to disappoint.  

If Connie was coming over to force me to face whatever was in my dad’s workshop and whatever else my parents left me, with Bryn in tow, I should probably make sure that I had something to keep her mini me occupied.  After I grabbed a sandwich, some chips, and glass of tea I headed up to my room - where a stash of my childhood shit that I kept “just in case” lived and hoped I could find something that the three year old would find fascinating.

Morning dawned as they had since I returned.  Gasping, shivery, but now with the addition of the murmurs from the television that I left on thanks to Bucky Barnes.  My hand was reaching for my cell phone before I made the conscious decision to do it, and I sighed when I didn’t see a pineapple waiting for me.  It was still early, so I took a beat to run through my mental checklist of what I’d put in place downstairs for Bryn.

I’d taken my copies of the princess movies downstairs along with a few dolls and some picture books that I’d loved.  There was a tea set and a few stuffies and I hoped that she wouldn’t be too bored while her mommy was dealing with my bullshit.  

While I was considering what I should make for lunch, or if I should toss together something for breakfast too, my phone chirped.  It was still beside me on the bed, so I didn’t have to reach.  Thinking it would be Connie, I lifted it up - I had never seen a phone number like it before, but there it was - my pineapple.  I shook my head even as my smile grew.  At least I knew he was alive.  That was one good thing going for me today.

Connie called a few minutes later, telling me that she’d be over after she got Bryn cleaned up after breakfast - answering one of my questions right off the bat.  I told her I’d hop in the shower and be waiting for them. 

“Don’t make a fuss,” she warned me.  “Bryn’s three, the fact that she’s never been to your house makes it like Disneyworld automatically.”  I rolled my eyes.  “I mean it, Brooke.”  

“I know you do, Connie,” I agreed, sliding out of bed and moving to the closet to grab something to wear, but then I realized that I didn’t know what we were about to do.  “Um, are we going to be digging into something dusty and gross?”  

She snorted and when I didn’t react she went so silent I thought she hung up on me, but a check of the phone told me she was still there.  “You’re joking?” I assured her I wasn’t.  “What the fu -” she stopped and I waited while she apologized to Joey, apparently Bryn was picking up some “adult language” and sharing it with the other children at daycare and preschool - I snorted, like those kids didn’t already hear that shit at home.  “What would your dad have in his workshop that we’d need to DIG, Brooke?”  I could HEAR her eyes rolling.  “Wear what you normally do, you fu -” I heard her groan and mutter to herself about politically correct nonsense.  “Go shower, we’ll be there in about an hour.”  

I had ice tea, soda, juice, and water, along with some of Bucky’s beer in the fridge, but I highly doubted that Connie would consent to letting Bryn partake in that.  I was showered and dressed, and was taking stock of the kitchen while I waited for them to come.  I had sandwich stuff on hand, along with some staples, and if all that failed there were enough takeout menus in the drawer to keep us fed.

The knock came at around the hour mark, and when I opened the door Bryn was staring up at me like she was seeing me for the very first time - again.  She really did look around the house like it was an adventure, and I could see the “I told you so” building in Connie’s face.  

Showing them the living room, where I’d set up the “play area”, you’d have thought Christmas came early.  The tiny tot squealed and clapped her hands, then she was having a tea party with the dolls and stuffies after choosing the first princess movie to play while they partied.  I supplied the “tea” -water, Connie insisted - promising I’d thank her during the cleanup, while filling a sippy cup with some juice for the hostess.  

With Bryn occupied, I thought we’d get to work, but Connie shook her head and pulled me into the dining room, adjacent to the living room so we could keep an eye and ear on Bryn.  With glasses of tea in front of us, she sighed and I got worried.  

“When IT happened,” Connie was looking at her glass, finger tracing a drop of condensation as it dripped down the glass.  “I started calling you immediately.  As soon as the news hit, as soon as the first moment we knew SOMETHING was going on -” She looked up and I nodded, I figured she would have, along with Mom and Dad.  “Your dad came home, he ran to your room because he knew you’d planned on staying in and being lazy.” Connie smiled, the memory of Dad making her sad, but also nostalgically happy.  

I opened my mouth, but was at a loss for what to say.  What could I say?  It’s ok?  I was Snapped into non-existence, but I’m here now, so we’re cool?  I mean, we were, but clearly she wanted to tell me something.  

“He ran in, seeing a thousand texts and calls from me, but it was what he FELT that got him.”  I squinted at her, confused.  She reached out and took my hand.  “When I came over, since I couldn’t get in touch with you, he was with your mom and she was in pieces - falling apart because you weren’t here and everything that you’d take with you if you went out was still here, but he wasn’t.  He was adamant, Brooke, absolutely adamant that you were coming back.”  “He was hopeful, Connie, that’s all.”  She shook her head and I sighed, but her hand squeezed mine.  

“Your dad and mom were the MOST pragmatic people I’ve ever known, Brooke.  Hell, everyone in this neighborhood agrees.”  I knew what she meant, our family was the no nonsensical, straight to the point people.  We didn’t do sugarcoating.  “When Baxter got hit by the car when we were ten -” I rolled my eyes, her dog, a sweet darling of a mutt.  “Everyone, including my brothers were telling me that he was gonna be fine, that he was gonna pull through and live to play fetch another day, but your dad took me aside and -”

“Told you that sometimes dogs don’t pull through, that sometimes they’re not strong enough, but not to worry because you took Baxter to the Feast of St. Francis and he was blessed and that meant that he’d be safe on the other side and waiting for you.”  I remembered, vividly because I’d been just as sad and upset.  

“Exactly.  So when a man like your dad, Andrew Ashley, tells me that you and all the other people who disappeared into nothing are going to come back one day?  I believe him.”  She gave my hand another squeeze and I thought, ok now we can get to work, but she wasn’t done.  “Your mom, she didn’t get there as fast.”  She let my hand go and took a drink from her glass.  “She avoided your room like you’ve been avoiding the shed and their bedroom.”  She was smirking at the knowledge that she knew me so well.  “When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted something of yours with me, Brooke.”  

“That’s where it went,” I shook my head and she grinned at me.  “I wondered, it’s hung in my window since I came home from that nightmare.”  

“Since WE came home from that nightmare, you mean.”  Connie’s smile was firmly locked in place.  “I called up your mom and told her the news, asking for something to keep with me, and she finally went into your room.”  I waited, wondering why it took crossing a threshold into a damn room for something to click into place?  “And that was it, Alice Ashley came out just as convinced as your dad.  She looked so much more at peace, Brooke.  She went along with your dad, but knowing it for herself, it was like a weight came off of her.”  

“So they just knew?”  I didn’t get it, not even a little bit.  “How?”  

Connie shook her head.  “No idea, but I do know this - when two of the most stocic and staid people in the community tell you that people will come back, you believe them.  And I did.”  

“What’s in the shed?”  I wanted a head’s up.  Some kind of hint, something to go on.  “Why do you think it’s important for me to know now?”

“It’s important, dumbass,” she shot a look toward the living room and let out a relieved breath when she realized that Bryn hadn’t heard her slip.  “Because what’s in the shed has been there since BEFORE you got Snapped into wherever, but we’re not going there first.  We’re going upstairs.”  

“Upstairs?”  I was confused and only growing more so.  “Why?”

Connie sighed, like she was sick of my shit already.  “It’s time to show you that your parents knew you better than you know yourself, Brooke.”  

Bryn’s tea party became a portable one.  Upstairs to my room, where she got to play on the floor while the television played another princess movie.  She was having fun, which made one of us.  

My parents’ bedroom door loomed far larger than it really was - and it was firmly closed.  

“Open it, Brooke.”  Connie nudged me, and I bit my lip.  “For God’s sake, it’s a door.” 

“Yeah, it is.”  I agreed, a door that I wasn’t really excited to open.  What if Mom’s perfume lingered?  What if Dad’s cologne does?  What if nothing about them lingers?  I took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob.

The room looked the same, but foreign.  A hint of both of them seemed to lurk just out of reach, as if I could almost grasp it if I could find it, but where was it?  

Their bed was still made up in the same sheets and bedding that Mom had picked months before I’d gone away.  Her cosmetics were still lining the vanity table that Dad had created in his workshop, craftsmanship that could only happen by hand.  A mirror she’d found and had re-done hung on the wall behind it.  My reflection stared back at me, a sad mimicry of the woman she’d been.  

Dad’s table still had his reading glasses, the pair he kept solely for reading before bed and the remote, the lamp tilted so he’d have the perfect lighting even if it would annoy Mom’s need for perfection.  I wondered what book he read last, if he had it tucked in the drawer, but Connie’s voice cut through my reverie.  

“See these?”  She was staring at a set of photographs that my parents had framed and hung on their wall.  They were black and white, and I knew them very well - I’d taken them.   I nodded.  “When you took that job that you were muddling through the commute every day?”  I started to say something, but she snorted and kept talking.  “Your dad had reprints of these made and did some research, he sent out feelers and found out that you have an eye.  A talent, something that we ALL knew, including your dumb ass, but instead of taking that scholarship that you were offered to do something with your artistic talent, you went and -” She sighed.  “He didn’t want you to settle, Brooke, neither of them did.”  

“We couldn’t afford for me to play artist, Connie,” I owed them more than to play at photography.  “Besides, these were just shots I took to -”

“To set up the cheap and old camera that our high school gave you to use for yearbook,” she nodded, “I know.  And yet,” she walked to my parents’ closet and pulled out a huge fucking box.  “This is ALL the presents for all the birthdays and holidays you missed, including the birthday that came right after the Snap.  Come on, Brooke, let’s go have a party with Bryne.” 

[merakiaes]

The Perfect Father - Arthur Shelby

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x reader

Requested: Yes. 

Prompts: #4 from the fluff/humor-list. 

Warnings/notes: This is a combination of this, this and this request. I probably mixed it up a bit and since it’s been a few weeks since I wrote I’m a bit rusty. It’s also not read through because I’m too lazy atm, so there might be mistakes xD But I hope you liked it and that this was what you wanted! Feel free to request more otherwise😁

Wordcount: 3509

Summary: You find out that you are pregnant and Arthur is having some doubts. 

You were twenty-eight years of age when you first moved from London to Small Heath.

Who in their right mind would willingly leave the big city for a small backwater town like that, one might ask. Well, to a start, it wasn’t entirely willingly.

You were born and raised in Small Heath, but still, you never felt at fully home there.

Whether this was the result of two unloving parents that you had never gotten along with or the fact that the small town life simply wasn’t for you, you didn’t know, but the second you turned eighteen you had packed your bags and moved away from the shithole that was Small Heath.

But your parents weren’t the only people you left behind. You also had a brother, younger than yourself by ten years.

The year was 1922 when you got word from the authorities in Small Heath that your parents had both passed away in the plague, leaving your brother all alone.

You dreaded going back to your childhood home, but despite not having seen him for years, you cared for your brother more than you did anyone, and set off to Birmingham the next morning, planning to take him with you back to London.

But the day you arrived in the small industrial town with the intention of simply getting your brother and then getting the fuck back out of there at once, was also the day you met Arthur Shelby for the first time, and as you might have been able to guess, seeing as you were still stuck in the small town, it was a meeting that changed everything.

You might not have set foot in your childhood town in ten years, but the memory of your small apartment on Watery Lane was still fresh in your mind and you found your way without much struggle at all.

But upon arriving, rather than finding your brother as expected, you were greeted with a locked door and seemingly empty house.

You hadn’t seen him since he was eight years old, so you obviously had no idea of what he was like nowadays, and therefor had no idea where or with who he might be.

Luckily for you, a slightly older woman exited her house on the opposite side of the street just then, spotted you in your frustrated and confused state and told you that your brother would most likely be at the boxing rings with her youngest nephew.

At the mention of your brother surrounding himself with that kind of people and activities, you found yourself growing slightly worried, but nonetheless you thanked her wholeheartedly and ran along.

You reached your destination in no time, and the pit in your stomach only grew at the sound of loud and panicked yelling, boys and men of all ages rushing to one of the rings in the middle of the room.

Finding yourself doing the same, your eyes widened significantly as you spotted what the commotion was about.

In the middle of the ring a man sat straddled across a younger boy’s torso, sending blow after blow to his youthful face and messing him up beyond recognition.

Now, you were by no means reckless, quite the opposite actually. You always thought long and hard before throwing yourself into a situation that could mean trouble, but this time it was like something just snapped inside of you, sending you rushing through the final line of the crowd and straight for the scene in front of you.

Other boys and men were desperately yelling out the man’s name and trying to pull him off the boy, but only earning themselves elbows to their noses.

You knew you probably should have left the bloody business to the men, but you just couldn’t, knowing the boy was only barely holding on to his life by then.

Your skirts flowed behind you as you ran, and men instantly started yelling at you not to intervene when they spotted you running into the mess that was currently unfolding before them.

After that, everything happened so quickly. You found yourself reaching out for his shoulder and giving him a forceful tug while yelling out at him to stop.

You remembered getting an elbow to the nose just like everyone else who had tried to intervene, but it didn’t stop you, your hands going back in for a second attempt and intertwining at the front of his throat, pulling with as much force as you possibly could.

You weren’t very strong, especially not in comparison to him, but still, the force to his windpipe was enough to leave him momentarily stunned, which in turn was enough to get him off the boy.

While the two of you fell backwards to the floor together, other man hurried to pull the boy further away from you.

The man struggled in your arms, your hands still wrapped tightly around his shoulders. You yelled at him to stop, to look at you, and when he did, it was like something connected between the two of you.

The second his eyes met yours, he stilled in your arms, body instantly relaxing and hard eyes melting into a heartbreakingly desperate stare.

You were both breathing heavily, and despite the fact that you didn’t know him, you had brought your hands up to his face and pressed his forehead to yours, mumbling sweet words of encouragement only for him to hear as you forced him to keep looking into your eyes.

Some of the men had moved the boy to a safer location in the room, just in case Arthur would snap again, and as he slowly calmed down and came back to reality, he let his head fall into your chest.

That’s when your brother had first approached you, together with another boy whom you learned to be Arthur’s brother, and the youngest nephew the woman from before had been talking about.

Said woman arrived to the boxing ring not long after, alongside two other men who instantly started talking to your brother and Finn.

It took a minute for them to spot you where you sat in the middle of the ring, holding their older brother as he cried like a child would to a mother.

They approached you after sending your brother and Finn away with their aunt. One of them introduced himself as Tommy Shelby, and the other man as John, before proceeding to kneel by your side with a stern expression but soft eyes and handing you a handkerchief.

It was only then you realized the pounding pain in your nose, and the sensation of warm fluid trickling down your chin.

You accepted the small cloth and pressed it to your nose, but as the two brothers attempted to grab their older brother from your lap, he only clung to you tighter.

Needless to say, you didn’t get to go back to London that night as you had originally planned, instead getting stuck at the Shelby residence with your brother.

Arthur didn’t speak a word to you the entire evening, only sleeping away his pain on your chest.

His aunt and younger brothers repeatedly apologized that you had gotten stuck in the middle like you had, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad, and despite usually being very wary of letting new people into their lives, they weren’t either.

If it hadn’t been for you, Arthur would have beaten that poor boy to life that day. You saved that boy’s life, but you also saved Arthur’s. Both him and his family knew that there would be no coming back if he had killed the boy.

The next few days were a bit of a blur, but at the end of the week, the younger three of the Shelby brothers were helping you move all of your things from London to Small Heath, while Arthur went to the doctor with Polly to get something for the anger at your request.

You learned that the Shelbys had taken your brother under their wing long ago with the way your parents weren’t really the most present, and thanks to this, and with the way you connected with Arthur, you all accepted each other with ease.

Arthur never left your side after that day, your presence being the only thing that could really keep his mind collected, and when you spent that much time with somebody, feelings were bound to bloom sooner or later.

For the two of you, it didn’t take long, and although you never really put a label on your relationship, everyone knew it, including the two of you; they had all known the second they saw Arthur in your arms that day in the boxing ring.

Only a few weeks into your stay in Small Heath, Arthur was with a one hundred percent certainty the love and light of your life. Never in your life had you loved anyone as much as you did him.

He meant the world to you, and you meant the world to him.

You had now been together for about a year and a half, married for about seven months, and you both felt that it was time for your relationship to go to the next level.

The second best thing you knew in the world, after Arthur and your big, defected family, was children.

You loved everything about them, and you wanted to experience everything with Arthur, children included.

The two of you had talked about it a few times. Arthur always got significantly more excited to a start, but only a few seconds into every attempt to the conversation, he would grow quiet and distant, and tell you he had business to attend to.

You knew him like you knew the back of your own hand, and therefor knew that he still hadn’t forgiven himself for that day in the boxing ring. He had nearly killed a young boy, and when you had stepped in and tried snapping him out of it, he had broken your nose.

You had tried assuring him every day since that you didn’t hold it against him and he shouldn’t either, but every time he spotted the small, pale scar across the bridge of your nose or the subject of starting a family was brought up, he was reminded of that day.  

He was terrified; terrified that he would lose himself like he had that day and so many other times and hurt any potential child. But more than anything, he was scared of ending up like his own father, and because of this, he stayed away from children to his best ability.

But when he was distracted from his doubts, he was always handling his nieces and nephews so well, and he didn’t even realize.

Despite your heart swelling over with love and longing just at the mere sight of him with a child on his knee, however, you had to push those feelings to the back of your head in order to give him the time he needed to get ready.

But your biological clock was ticking, and you couldn’t help but feel nerve-wreckingly anxious at the thought of not getting to start a family of your own.

You were slowly starting to realize that you probably wouldn’t with the way Arthur was functioned and scarred by his own father and experiences, and it broke your heart.

You were about ready to give the dream of having children up, and that’s when it happened.

It started out slowly, you waking up every other morning with bile rising up your throat and sending you straight to the bathroom to throw up.

Then your breast started aching, and you could have sworn they were getting bigger, but you thought none of it until Arthur pointed it out one night when you were… well, fooling around, as you do.

It was only then you put two and two together and came to the realization that every bodily change you had been experiencing the last couple of weeks were adding up to one thing and one thing only; they were all symptoms of pregnancy.

The next day, you brought Polly with you to the doctor’s and got it confirmed. You were pregnant. You were actually pregnant.

When the midwife had told you the news, you had broken into tears in an instant. Despite having been ready for the news upon arrival, it all became so much real when it was spoken out loud.

To a start, you were overjoyed, smiling and crying happily, but then the tears rolling down your rosy cheeks turned from happy to panicked, as another realization struck you; Arthur obviously didn’t want children.

You knew already from the first moment your state was confirmed that you would do everything in your power to keep your baby safe, even if it meant having to do it all without Arthur by your side. But still, you mourned the thought, as you loved him so incredibly much.

Polly had to bring you back home to Watery Lane under her arm, shielding your face from the public as you were crying unstoppably.

She comforted you by rubbing your arm with her hand, all while leading you down the street with rushed steps.

You were lucky the boys were all out handling whatever Peaky Blinder business they had on their agenda on this day, their absence giving you the time you needed to calm down and start going over how you were going to tell Arthur in your head.

You didn’t get half as much time as you would have liked, however, the boys all soon piling into the Shelby kitchen, your brother along with them.

It didn’t take long for them to notice your long, sullen face and wet eyes, and Tommy and Polly wasted no time in ushering everyone else into the next room while Arthur approached you, giving you some privacy much to your brother’s dismay.

“What’s goin’ on, love?” Arthur asked lowly as he reached you were you stood leaned against the kitchen counter.

Your arms came up to cross over your chest as a sort of defense mechanism, swallowing thickly in an attempt to rid yourself of the nerves.

You were by no means afraid that Arthur would hurt you in any way if he got upset about the news, but rather afraid that he would push you away and punish himself. But you knew you had to tell him, and so you did.

“I’m pregnant, Arthur.”

Arthur’s hand, that had been on its way to touch your arm, instantly froze mid-air, and with the closeness of your bodies, you could feel his entire body tensing. His soft, worried eyes glazed over with a certain hardness, and his face instantly pulled into one of pure panic.

“What?”

His voice was barely even audible as he spoke, cracking in the middle. His eyelashes fluttered slightly, showing you that he was starting to panic.

You swallowed once more, searching his eyes carefully while slowly bringing a hand up to his clean-shaved cheek, repeating yourself silently. “I’m pregnant.”

He flinched every so lightly at your touch, but soon relaxed into your palm, his eyes falling shut and a deep, shaky breath coming out of his nose.

“You don’t want to raise a child with me, (Y/N).” He whispered, but despite his scared state, moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his forehead against yours. “I wouldn’t do a good job at it. I’m too damaged.”

You shook your head at his words, tears now pricking the corners of your eyes. “Everyone’s a little damaged, Arthur.” You told him back, swiping your thumb across his short stubble soothingly. “It doesn’t change one’s ability to be a good parent.”

His breathing was calm, but you could sense with the way his arms tightened around you slightly that he was everything but calm.

“I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“And I don’t know how to be a mum.” You joined in, now bringing your other hand up to cradle his face. “But we’ll figure it out along the way. Together, eh? Like always.”

He didn’t answer, only breathing calmly and keeping his eyes closed.

You bit the inside of your lip slightly, slumping against the counter behind you. “Look at me.”

He didn’t react, to which you squeezed his cheeks with a bit more force, a frown now having settled on your face.

“Look at me.” You repeated, and this time his eyes fluttered open, revealing those baby blues you loved oh so much.

You could see that he was fighting an internal war with himself, trying his hardest to remain strong in front of you when in reality, he was probably ready to break down with a mixture of various emotions.

You moved your hands from his cheeks to the nape of his neck and pulled him closer, feeling his body react by pulling you closer in return.

“Do you trust me?” You asked quietly, searching his eyes.

He looked into your eyes, staying silent for a moment, but it didn’t take long before you got a nod in return.

“Aye, ya know I do. With my life.”

His words made your heart swell, and although you were now feeling more happy than worried, your face remained concentrated as you spoke. “Then trust me when I say that despite whatever issues you have with yourself, whatever battles you’re fighting, I love you, and know that you would never hurt me or our baby.”

He listened intently, but once again didn’t say anything. It was truly unusual to see him this quiet, seeing as he almost always had something to say.

But then he nodded, and then suddenly, his head was buried in the crook of your neck, body slumping against yours just like it had the first time you met.

“I’ll do my best.” He mumbled into your hair, voice coming out slightly muffled against your skin. “I just don’t want you to leave me. I love ya so fookin’ much.”

Your hands automatically came up to the back of his head, pulling him closer.

“I would never leave you.” You scoffed. “Despite what you think, you’ve given me everything. You’ve treated me with such care and such love. I see you with John’s kids, and with Finn and my brother, and I know you’ll be the best father to ever exist. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes, and you would see how amazing you truly are.”

He brought his head out of your neck, and only then did you notice the way your hair was sticking to your skin uncomfortably, wet with the tears that were now slipping out of Arthur’s eyes.

He sniffled slightly and pulled you closer by your sides, once again leaning his forehead against yours. “I don’t deserve ya.” He sniffed, one of his hands shakily moving from your waist to rest on your stomach. “Either of ya.”

You grabbed his wrist and pressed his hand against your stomach with a bit more force, giving him a stern look. “Yes, you do.” You told him. “I need you, Arthur. More now than ever.”

He sniffed again, and you could feel how his body slowly relaxed against yours, the hint of a smile soon ghosting over his lips as he nodded his head, giving you his promise. “I’ll be there. I’ll always be there.”

And at the end of the day, that’s all you wanted from him.

“What should we name him?” He asked you then, his thumb now swiping over your clothed belly every so lightly. The small act of affection melted your heart.

“Him? It might be a girl, you know.” You raised an eyebrow, but he only shook his head, grinning widely.

“Nah. It’s a boy. I can feel it.”

You shook your head with a laugh, but didn’t bother to argue with him anymore, instead just bringing him in for a sweet kiss.

It was if something in him switched inside of him then, as he the second after you had broken apart was laughing and yelling the news at the top of his lungs, giving the rest of the Shelbys the clear to come back in.

Everyone came over and congratulated you with hugs, all happy for the two of you. But more so than anything, you were all amused by Arthur’s newfound enthusiasm, watching as he swung around the room with Finn and your brother under his arms, much to the younger boys’ dismay.

Arthur Shelby had always been a family man, having raised his siblings alongside his aunt, he had just  been too scared of himself to know it. But now he knew.

Now he knew that he was ready, and you knew from that moment on that your child would be the most spoiled and loved child in the entirety of Birmingham because despite what Arthur might think, he would make the perfect father.

[kindofcashton]

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 2  (Calum Hood AU)

THE REST OF dinner was much more enjoyable once Calum left.  Luke, Michael, and Ashton had no problem making me feel at home, and soon I was laughing and free from the stress of the day.  

From what I'd gathered, Luke and Michael about a year younger than Ashton.  They'd all finished high school and decided against university, much to their parents' pleasure.  Ashton however had landed a pretty lucrative gig at an advertising firm, even without a degree, and he said that it was the kind of job good enough to support him as long as he needed.  Luke and Michael had odd jobs here and there, preferring the care-free bachelor life to a scheduled, overworked routine.  I envied their easy-going attitudes; if only I could afford to live as freely as they did.

"We're not total bums though," Luke defended himself, blue eyes smiling.  The five us were sipping beers around the table, lights dimmed since it was so late.  "Mike is wicked good with video games and is helping this guy with his startup.  And I work down at the music shop, but the manager says he's gonna try to hook me up with an internship at a record label."

Michael snorted.  "I can not imagine you fetching people coffee.  And they'd probably force you take out that lovely lip ring."

Luke rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer.  "You work for a guy with a purple tiger tattoo, of course you can keep your eyebrow piercing."

Ashton waved his hand dramatically, other arm slung over Hannah's shoulder.  She'd moved her chair so close to his she was practically on his lap.  

"Yeah yeah, you're little startup and you're little internship are cute, but I am working on the next campaign for Fido Feed."

Everyone burst out laughing, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.  "What's that?"

Hannah slid her hand down Ashton's cheek lovingly, and said, "It's a dog food brand, and he is single-handedly pioneering their success."  Ashton grinned and gave her a kiss.

"Hey, Ash, what happened to the wheat crackers ad?  I thought you were killing it with the cracker game."  Michael bat his lashes innocently.

Ashton flipped him off and I took a sip of my beer, happy and buzzed.  This was the most fun I'd had in a long time, and only hoped it would be like this every day.  Leaving university had been a difficult but inevitable decision, and I'd feared I wouldn't be happy for a long time.  Anxieties still plagued the back of my mind, but right now I found it easier than ever to ignore them.

"Alright, I don't know about you morons but I'm pretty tired."  Michael stood up from the table and motioned to me.  "How about I show you you're suite now, madam?"

I smiled and nodded, as Luke reached over to throw away my empty beer for me.  His blue eyes were so warm and kind, and I think I was most grateful for his calming presence.  

Michael led me up the stairs into a darkened hallway, and I noted four doors upstairs.  One was partially open, revealing the bathroom.  One at the end of the hall was shut tight, with quiet music reverberating softly from it.  I guessed this was Calum's room, and as Michael led to me to his my stomach sank.  I'd be right next to Calum, bumping into him as we went downstairs or tried to get to the bathroom.  

Great, more opportunities for him to hate me.

The room was fairly small, but not cramped.  The bed was big with dark blue sheets, and the gray walls were plastered with posters of all different types.  A closet had been cleared out for me, as well as a set of drawers and desk in the corner.  It was definitely a nicer place than I thought I'd be staying in.

"I don't know how to thank you," I admitted, still embarrassed at Michael's charity.

He crossed his arms, goofy smile on his face.  "You'll figure something out.  I like anything with cheese or frosting, so maybe start there?"  I laughed, and he gave me an encouraging thumbs up before turning out of the room.

"Night, Scar!" he called, and I closed the door gently behind him.

My bags were all arranged in one corner, and I reminded myself to thank Luke later.  Blowing out a sigh, I fell onto the bed.  The events of the past couple months truly felt like bricks on my shoulders, and every day was a struggle to get by.  The ache in my heart never seemed to subside, even during happy times like tonight.  Pulling the blankets over my shivering body, I simply hoped for a good night's sleep to be able to tackle tomorrow.

Unfortunately, my prayers were not answered.  I tossed and turned all night long, partly because of the unfamiliar atmosphere and partly because of my never ending anxieties.  Pale dawn light was peeking through the curtains when I finally opened my eyes, and I frowned.  

Quietly getting up, I checked my reflection in the mirror and yawned.  My hair was tousled, the hoodie I wore nearly covering my shorts.  I didn't look too great, but I decided it was better for people to see this me early on, seeing as she'd be around a fair amount.

Padding down the stairs, I didn't notice anyone awake.  Ashton had stayed the night with Hannah, both of them down in the basement on the futon.  Michael was passed out on the living room couch, red hair disheveled.  

Suddenly a sound from the kitchen made nearly jump out of my skin.  I whirled around to see Calum fishing through the cupboards, clad in only sweatpants.  He must have heard my surprised gasp, because he turned to me with a scowl.

"Of course you'd be up this early."  He faced away from me as I entered the kitchen, pausing as I gripped the back of a dining chair.  His back muscles were taut and tan, his bare shoulders rimmed with shadow in the dim light.  His hair was curly and messy, laying just over his eyes.  

"You're up this early," I countered innocently, meaning it more as a joke.  He gave me a distracted glance.

"Never really went to bed, I guess," he grumbled, moving to set up the coffee maker.  His movements were clumsy and confused, and I could tell he had no idea what he was doing.

"Here, let me," I offered softly, striding over.  His brown eyes tracked me as I dumped the ground coffee into machine, once again completely unreadable.  I worked quietly, my movements automatic as I had done this a million times at college in order to survive late nights and early classes.

"Ashton usually does this," he mumbled, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck.  I shrugged, flipping the lid down and setting the timer.  I turned so I was leaning against the counter, arms folded.  Calum backed away from me, choosing now to busy himself in the fridge.

I sighed, but was thankfully saved by Michael waking up over on the couch.

"I really hope that racket was coffee being made," he said, voice thick with sleep.

"Shut up, we weren't that loud," Calum snapped, finding the milk and grabbing some frosted cereal.  Soon Luke was awake and joined us in the kitchen, followed shortly by Ashton and Hannah from downstairs.  She looked lazy and happy, glowing almost.  Luke rolled his eyes and shot me a smile; we all knew why the two of them looked so content.

We all sat at the table, Calum included.  He ate his cereal silently, and didn't look up when I poured him a cup of coffee.  I took my mug and sat down, letting the warmth of the coffee seep into my cold hands.

"Cream and sugar?" Luke asked, but I shook my head.

"No, this is fine."

"You take it black?  Damn, badass."  He grinned, and I chuckled.  Calum snorted, and everyone turned to look at him.

He reddened at our stares, and said curtly, "What, she's some brave hero for drinking black coffee?  Please."

Luke didn't take his comment to heart, his expression amused.  "Right, I forgot no one is cool in your eyes.  You enjoy vodka straight out of the bottle."  Calum met his eyes, and for the first time I saw a spark of humor in the brown orbs.  Little flashes of the boys' friendship peeked through sometimes, and I knew despite his rough exterior the guys really loved Calum.

"What are we doing today?" Michael asked, stuffing some toast into his mouth.

"Some of us have serious jobs to go to," Ashton joked, and Hannah giggled as she ran a hand through his curls.  I was jealous of how close they were, wishing I had someone like Ashton to support me.  He would walk through fire for Hannah, and she for him.  Their bond was unlike anything I'd ever seen let alone experienced, and I wondered if I'd ever be lucky enough to discover that feeling.

"Ha-ha," Michael said dryly.  "Reggie doesn't need me today since we're waiting for a streaming service to get back to us, so I'm free."

Luke nodded.  "Same here, the Jared doesn't need me since he's training a new guy.  Looks like we'll all have the day together, eh?"  He shot me a wink, and I smiled.  I'd hoped to be introduced to the area, and what better way to do it then with all of them?  It would give me even more time to get to know the guys.

"Why don't we give Scarlett here a tour?  She's gotta know about all the good spots," Hannah proposed, and was met with sounds of approval.  The only one who didn't reply was Calum, who's eyebrows hung low over his eyes as he ate his breakfast.

"Count me out, I've got some shit to do."  No one questioned his vague answer, and I guessed this was routine around here.  Calum did what he pleased and no one pushed him.  To me it was peculiar, because I'd always been the kind of person to appreciate communication.  Clearly I had a lot to learn if I was going to stick around here.

They parted ways to get ready, but I stayed behind to clean up the dishes.  Small things like this made me feel better about staying at the house.  Calum was last to leave the table, and was watching me with steely eyes as I rinsed out the mugs.  Wordlessly, he stood up and stalked over to the sink, halting.  I stopped what I was doing and glanced up at him, intimidated when I met his gaze.  A beat went by, and then he set his bowl down and promptly left.

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

Soon after I'd changed and put on a bit of makeup, glad that my appearance looked slightly more acceptable.  I was nervous and excited for the day ahead; seeing a new city was always fun, especially one I'd be living in for a while.

Between the guys they had three cars, the nicest belonging to Ashton which he'd bought after his first promotion.  Luke and Michael shared an old station wagon since their jobs were fairly close together, and Calum drove a vintage mustang.  I whistled under my breath, wondering how he afforded such a nice car.  He climbed in and sped off within seconds, and I watched him disappear from view.

The rest of us piled into the station wagon with Michael behind the wheel and Luke riding shotgun.  

"Alright, where to first ladies and gentleman?"

"We gotta show her the music shop," Hannah proposed.

"Oh yeah, it's a real exciting place," Luke joked.  "Dusty, too."  

We drove off, and Michael lowered the windows.  The sky was sunny and blotted with clouds, a small breeze cooling down the warm air.  I rested my arm on the window, and leaned out to look at the trees blurring by.  Michael drove fast but controlled, and I could feel my heart flutter as we flew down the street.

The music shop was actually pretty cool, and Luke even took us to the back to show us where they stored the vintage and expensive stuff.  Guitars, basses, even a dismantled drum kit were hiding in the back room.  Michael and Luke were like little boys around all the stuff, itching to play and show us their chops.

"For a while we wanted to start a band," Luke explained, strumming a simple tune on an acoustic guitar.  "But life got in the way, I guess.  Besides, our parents basically told us we'd amount to nothing, so here we are."

I frowned.  "You shouldn't let someone else tell you what you should do."  He looked up, smiling sadly.

"Yeah, but when that someone pays for your entire life, it's pretty hard to say no."  I nodded, understanding what he meant.  Money was the ultimate decider in life, as I knew all too well.

After the music shop we drove by Michael's start-up, which he claimed was the "most legit garage in the whole city."  It was quite literally a garage attached to some guy's house, but Michael insisted all the geniuses started out small.

As we continued driving around, I briefly thought about Calum and where he could possibly be, and I even kept an eye out for his mustang.  But he was nowhere to be seen, and by lunch the thought of him had completely evaporated from my mind.

Lunch was at Michael's favorite place, which served the best cheese fries I'd ever tasted in my whole life.  As I was eating a thought occurred to me.

"Hey, do you guys know any places hiring?  I've gotta get a job now that I'm not spending all my time on school."  Back at university, I'd thrown all of my energy into schoolwork since my scholarships depended on it.  Now though, a job was a necessity.

They were quiet for a minute, thinking.  Then Hannah said, "Oh, I think the cafe on fourth street is looking for someone.  You have any experience?"

"I worked retail when I was seventeen back home, so I guess not.  But I think I'm a quick learner."

"Wanna swing by right now?"

"Nah, I'll go tomorrow.  Today's been too fun, I want to keep it going."

We finished lunch, and perused around town for an hour or so more, showing me various shops and places I'd want to know about.  When we finally got back home, the driveway was still empty.

"Think you're in the mood for a beat down in Smash, Lukey boy?" Michael goaded, and Luke shoved him good-naturedly.  

"Nobody's getting beat down here except you, my friend."

Hannah and I rolled our eyes, but followed them into the living room nonetheless.  We wasted the afternoon watching them play video games and arguing over it, until Hannah got so sick of it she begged me to do something else with her.

"How about we organize your closet?  I want to go out later, so we've gotta find outfits."

I readily agreed, excited at the prospect of going clubbing.  Hannah had been my partner in crime and always made sure to drag me out of my dorm so I had some fun instead of always staying in and studying.

We began to sift through my bags, and after emptying all of them I realized how little I actually owned.  Hannah didn't comment; she knew the reality of the situation, and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Don't worry, we'll go shopping once you get that job and fill this closet right up."  I knew I wouldn't be wasting my paycheck on party clothes, but I appreciated her idea nonetheless.

"Where are we going tonight?" I asked.

"Where we always go, it's a place Ashton discovered.  It's big, so it never feels cramped.  They have a killer DJ, which is rare in this town."  She pulled out a black skirt and long sleeved black crop top with a lace up back.

I raised my eyebrows in slight surprise.  "Kinda dark, no?"

Hannah rolled her eyes.  "Trust me, black is the way to go.  You look sultry and dark, and with the lights in the club it looks great."

I laughed but accepted the outfit.  "Who am I trying to look sultry for?"

Hannah put her hands on her hips.  "Scarlett, you're hot, you're single, and you've got nothing better to do.  Get yourself some."

I flushed, embarrassed at her confidence in me.  I'd never been the outgoing type of girl to go after guys I liked.  I'd been pursued only a few times, mostly by guys I found repulsive.  I'd had two boyfriends my whole life, one in high school who had no idea how to kiss with tongue, and one in the beginning of college who left me alone at a party where I knew no one and got thrown up on by a drunk guy.  Needless to say, I wasn't crazy about either of them.

Hannah left to get changed herself, and I sighed as I looked at the outfit on the bed.  You might as well let loose, I told myself.  Hannah was right; you have nothing better to do.

I pulled the skirt on and tied up the crop top flipping my hair over my shoulder as I combed through the reddish brown locks with my fingers.  Frowning in the mirror, I swiped some eyeliner on and curled my lashes, sticking out my bottom lip in a pout.  Hannah was right; I looked dark, but sultry was still up in the air.

Realizing I had no idea what shoes to wear, I went downstairs and saw Michael and Luke waiting to leave in the living room.  They both had dark jeans and leather jackets on, looking like hot bikers.  Luke whistled as I walked by, blue eyes tracking me.

"Looking good, Scarlett."

I blushed and thanked him before running into Hannah, who actually had boots in her hand.  They were the black knee high kind, and I snorted at her insistence of keeping to a black theme.

"Wear these, I'm going with heels tonight."  She looked hot herself; her black skirt was leather, and her shirt was off the shoulder and very low cut.  A wave of appreciation for her washed over me; I could always count on Hannah to make me feel good about myself.

We were all ready, and the sky was dark with only a few stars dotting the black canvas.  Michael had ordered a cab, and it was waiting for us as we descended the driveway.

As Hannah and I slid across the back seat, the driver glanced in the rear-view mirror.  

"And how are you ladies doing tonight?" he asked suggestively, making my face redden.

"Seriously, dude?" Luke said, glaring at the guy from the passenger seat.  "Just drive the car and don't say anything, please.  Or do you not want to get paid?"

He met my eyes in the mirror, and I hoped my expression showed my gratitude.  I knew I could rely on Luke to defend me if I needed it, and that was a comforting thought.

"Ashton and Calum are already there," Hannah told us, and I was slightly surprised to hear that Calum was coming.  He'd blown off the day with us, but I guess he couldn't turn down a night out.

When we arrived, I saw how big the club is and my jaw dropped.  I could hear the hammering music from outside, and watched as bodies waded in and out of the door.  Hannah stuck close by my side, with Michael and Luke leading the way.  I smiled nervously at the bouncer, who met my eyes with a blank expression.

Bright lights danced across bodies glowing with sweat, and a crowded dance floor pulsed with the heartbeats of dozens of people.  Girls hung onto guys, guys held onto girls.  Tables were piled high with empty glasses and bottles, and everyone's eyes were dull with a buzz.

I couldn't help but smile, and Hannah grabbed my hand as she led us through the throng of people.  My body itched to join them and dance, the music almost as intoxicating as the alcohol at the bar.

We found our way to the back, where Ashton and Calum were at the bar drinking.  Ashton spotted Hannah and grabbed her for a big kiss, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle and grip his bicep.  Calum emptied his glass and turned to greet Michael and Luke.  His dark eyes raked down my body, face barely illuminated by the roving lights.  He looked good; black jeans and boots, his staple apparently.  But today he had a leather jacket hugging his broad shoulders, and the glint of rings showed on his fingers.  He looked like a shadow ready to melt into the background.

"How was your tour?" he asked, leaning back on his forearms against the tabletop.  I couldn't tell if his question was genuine or mocking, so I decided to answer honestly.

"It was great, I think I'm really gonna like it here."

He didn't react to my response, instead motioned to the bartender to get him another drink.

"You good here?" Hannah yelled over the music.  "I'm gonna go off with Ashton for a bit, but I'll be back to dance with you later, okay?"  I nodded, and the two of them soon dissolved in the crowd.  Michael and Luke recognized someone, and went over to talk.  I was fine with being alone, and took a seat at the bar.

The bartender had a kind smile and bright eyes.  "What can I get you?"

I drummed my fingers on the table, thinking.  I don't know, what's good?"

Someone scoffed next to me, and I glanced over at Calum.  I hadn't realized he was still here, and suddenly regretted my juvenile question.

"Get her a juice box or something, Joe," he said, knocking back his second glass of dark liquid.  He was probably already drunk, but I knew he'd be mean even if he was sober.

Feeling like I had to prove something, I straightened up and said firmly, "I'll take a tequila."

Calum didn't react, much to my disappointment.  I wasn't a crazy drinker, but I could handle my alcohol.  I actually quite liked getting drunk; the buzz made me happy and loopy, and everything was funny when I was drunk.

Joe poured me the drink, and I inhaled deeply before taking a sip.  It burned as it slid down my throat, but I didn't wince.  Calum's empty glass was refilled, and he lifted it in mock cheers.

"Where were you today?" I asked, voice getting slightly drowned out by the music.  Calum scowled at my question.

"Why?"

Shrugging, I replied,  "I don't know, you missed a fun day."

He took a big gulp of his drink.  "Why do you care?"

I blinked, deciding to be candid.  "I don't, I was just trying to be nice."  My answer must have surprised him, because he actually shifted to face me.

"What makes you think I want you to be nice to me?"  His freezing stare sent chills down my spine, and I took another swig for some liquid courage.

"Generally speaking people are supposed to be nice to one another, but I can see how you wouldn't understand that concept."  With that, I finished my drink and flipped my hair behind my shoulders.

"See you later, Calum," I said before striding off onto the dance floor to find Scarlett.  I spotted her dancing with Ashton, and she gave me a big drunken hug before jumping around with delight.

As my hips began to sway and I danced along to the music, I could feel the heat of someone's stare on me, but it only made me dance harder.

[yamayamawrites]

Strangely, You Feel Like Home

Since his last semester of college, Shouyo had been the father of twins - two rays of sunshine that he didn't expect but loves nonetheless. He gave up everything to be the father he wished he had, including his own dream of becoming a professional volleyball player. Instead he settled for becoming a volleyball coach at the local elementary school, making a little of each dream coexist as he taught his twins how to play volleyball.

However, when Shouyo discovers that his extremely rude neighbor Tobio is the same Tobio that plays professional volleyball for the very team Shouyo dreamed of being on, and that said Tobio wants Shouyo to coach his child, he can't help but think it's a prank.

Or, the Single Parents AU that nobody asked for.

A/N: Hi everyone! Of course I’m starting another multi-chapter fic because Like Friends Do is wrapping up and I need to keep myself busy to avoid the fact that college is starting back up just a few months from now. If you’d prefer, you can read this on AO3 by clicking here. If not, you can read chapter 1 below! Thanks again for reading!

Tobio awoke to the sound of shrill laughter just outside his window. He blinked blearily, shielding his eyes from the mid-afternoon sun shining in through the blinds he hadn’t bothered to close. He grumbled, ready to go tell the children to play somewhere else – but then it was accompanied by a much deeper voice, that of an adult, laughing along with them.

He gripped the bridge of his nose and forced himself to sit up. Of all the days this could happen, it just had to be the day he arrived home. He just wanted some peace and quiet, was that too much to ask?

Tobio pushed his legs off the side of the bed and forced himself to his feet. Every single one of his muscles ached at him to disappear back under the covers and perhaps throw on some noise-cancelling headphones, but when that deep voice yelled a shrill, “Gotcha!” followed by one (or perhaps two?) children laughing, he thought angrily that it probably wouldn’t help, anyway. He wandered into the kitchen and found his and his nephew’s multiple suitcases. He rubbed his shoulder and cracked his neck, remembered the struggle it had been just to get Ichiro to sleep on the plane…

Ichiro.

Tobio tiptoed up the stairs of his town home. He hoped that the children outside hadn’t woken him from his nap – he rarely slept as it was. To his surprise, when he pushed open Ichiro’s bedroom door, the toddler still laid splayed out on the bed, his rear hanging in the air while his plump cheek pressed lazily against his pillow. Tobio smiled, padding across the room as quietly as possible. He raked a gentle hand through his nephew’s dark hair, leaned down and pressed a kiss to that plump cheek. Anyone who saw them together commented that they looked like father and son, usually assumed such, and he’d never bothered to correct them. He supposed he was more of a father to the boy than his actual father, anyway.

But the shrieks continued outside. They grated on Tobio’s nerves, and he calmly left the small bedroom (so as not to wake the child). The second he closed Ichiro’s door he stormed down the steps and swung open the front door of his townhome.

He sighed and raked a trembling hand through his dark hair. Of all the days for someone to be moving in, it just had to be today.

Two little kids, a boy and a girl, with the most vibrant orange hair came pounding on stubby legs down the sidewalk with tiny boxes in their hands. Behind them, Tobio assumed their father carried a much larger box in his hands – he couldn’t see the man’s face, just a few unruly orange curls poking out from the top of the box. He pinched the bridge of his nose again. “Oi,” he called, startling the children and the father alike.

The man stopped and set his box down. “Oh, hi!” he waved, voice bright and chipper. “You must be our new neighbor!”

“Can you keep it down a bit?” Tobio tried his best not to sound grumpy, but he already had a short temper when it came to any child besides his Ichiro.

“Sorry, sorry!” the man rubbed his neck. He waved the children to continue on, and they fumbled their way into the town home next door. The man jogged up the short driveway towards the porch Tobio stood on, his curls bouncing with his steps. He outstretched a hand, a warm, sunny smile plastered on his face. It almost made Tobio sick how energetic he could be, and he barely knew him. “I’m Hinata Shouyo. And you are?”

“Tobio,” he said shortly and shook his hand. “Can you please just try to be a little quieter? My boy and I got in late last night from the United States—”

“Tobio, ah?” Shouyo tapped his chin. “How old is your son?”

Tobio startled at the sudden topic change, not bothering to correct him that Ichiro wasn’t his son. “He’s—he’s almost four.”

“How exciting!” Shouyo chirped. “My babies are turning three next month.”

“You’re a little young to have kids, aren’t you?” Tobio asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.

Shouyo laughed. “You’re not the first person to say that.”

The twins came stomping their feet out of the town home next door, laughing and chasing each other around the fenced-in front yard with dolls in their hands. “That’s my cue, Tobio,” Shouyo watched the children run around the front yard. “We’ll try to be quiet! Hopefully we’ll see each other soon!”

Shouyo jogged back down the driveway, turned and ran towards his own yard, and chased his kids around. Tobio sighed and rubbed his temple; they were no quieter in their endeavors than before. His only hope was that the town home walls were thick, since they shared a wall.

Ichiro tugged at Tobio’s sleeve next to him. “Uncle,” he mumbled in a quiet, sleep-filled voice. “Hungry.”

“What’re you hungry for?” Tobio asked, bending down to scoop him up. “We have to go grocery shopping soon. Want to pick something out there?”

A pout settled on the boy’s lips. “No grocery store,” he grumbled.

“We have to,” Tobio replied in his gentle voice, combing down some of the stray hairs poking up from Ichiro’s head. “I’ll get you a treat if you behave, how does that sound?”

The pout melted away and replaced itself with a shy smile. Ichiro hugged Tobio around the neck and pulled at his hair. “Treat!” he chirped.

Tobio walked Ichiro back into the house to dress themselves for a trip to the store. Though Shouyo and his children already grated on his nerves, part of him hoped that Ichiro could at least make some new friends from the arrangement.

***

Shouyo made the decision shortly after two that afternoon to call his friends from high school, Sawamura and Koushi, for some help moving. He realized (after several failed attempts) that he couldn’t carry his bedframe alone, nor could he carry his couch or dining table by himself. They brought their adopted daughter, Hikari, who had been tasked with occupying the twins, Mitsu and Haruto. With three sets of adult hands instead of the former arrangement, moving boxes and furniture didn’t take even half as long as Shouyo expected, and just before six that evening the three men collapsed next to each other on the couch.

“This place is pretty big,” Koushi noted, looking around the spacious town home. “Nice wood floors, too. Is Hitoka covering it?”

“Yeah,” Shouyo nodded. “She’s over in America again until the end of the month with her job, so she’s been sending money to help cover daycare and such while I packed everything up.”

Hikari and the twins came storming out of the downstairs bedroom, squealing and wielding foam swords that Shouyo couldn’t remember purchasing for the kids. They seemed to be having fun, though, and he had no problem with it – so long as they didn’t get hurt.

“How long is Hitoka staying in town?” Sawamura asked.

“At least until the twins’ birthday party,” Shouyo replied. “Probably a little longer than last time. I know she’s getting a little anxious being away for so long at a time.”

“It’s really great you both kept in touch,” Koushi murmured, almost to himself. Shouyo couldn’t help but agree.

“They’re her kids, too,” he said softly. “I couldn’t ever let what happened in the past get between her and these little rays of sunshine.”

His daughter, Mitsu, pounced on him, squealing and laughing and swinging the foam sword at his head with the accuracy of a blind animal. Shouyo laughed with her and grabbed her under the arms, twirling her around. He growled in a mock-menacing tone. “Grr, daddy’s gonna getcha!” he cried, blew raspberries into her stomach. Mitsu kicked her feet and screamed, her giggles echoing off the nearly empty walls of the home. Soon after, Haruto jumped at Shouyo’s legs, screaming for similar treatment.

“You want daddy to get you, too?” Shouyo bellowed, followed by an evil laugh. He let Mitsu down and the girl ran for Hikari, grabbing at her dress. He scooped Haruto up in a swift movement and the boy squirmed in his grasp, his laughter just as shrill as Mitsu’s. Koushi and Sawamura watched with amusement.

Eventually Haruto squirmed himself out of Shouyo’s grasp and he let the boy down. Shouyo collapsed back onto the couch, laughing to himself. “I don’t know how you do it,” Koushi said finally.

“What’s that?” Shouyo asked, looked over at him with a lazy smile.

“They’re so energetic at that age, and there’s two of them,” Koushi sighed. He let his head fall back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with a sort of dazed smile on his lips. “I could barely even keep track of Hikari when she was that age.”

Sawamura laughed, then, nodding in agreement. “I did most of the chasing when she was that age,” he added.

“They’re a full-time job, for sure,” Shouyo said with a gentle sigh. “But they sleep through the night, so at least I’ve got that.”

“Hikari never slept through the night,” Koushi laughed. “I’m jealous.”

The children circled around the kitchen island then came back at full force, yelling and stomping through the living area that the three adults had settled into. “Should we order a pizza?” Sawamura leaned over and murmured to Shouyo, tried to keep the children from hearing. It was for naught, though, as the children erupted into cheers.

“Pizza! Pizza!” they shouted in unison, grabbing hands and dancing around in a circle.

Shouyo laughed and even got up with them, danced around and broke apart his children’s hands so he could fit between them. “I’ll pay,” he said over the chants. “It’s the least I could do for getting your help today.”

***

Despite the twins’ normally-decent sleep habits, neither of the two children got a good amount of sleep their first night. Shouyo couldn’t sleep much, either; but considering how exhausted he felt after moving all the furniture, he assumed his restlessness stemmed from his kids’.

Cranky whines and balled fists slamming into high chairs had Shouyo ready to put in some ear plugs and just go back to bed anyway – but still he wore his best morning smile as he fought with each of his children to eat their breakfasts. “Mitsu-chan, don’t you want your breakfast? The big monster is gonna eat it if you don’t!” he cried, ready to shovel a bite of Mitsu’s favorite oatmeal into his own mouth.

“Yuck!” Mitsu shouted in response, swatted at the bowl for good measure. Shouyo thanked his fast reflexes for catching it before it toppled onto the ground.

“Yuck,” Haruto giggled beside Mitsu, swinging his legs under his chair.

“Babies have to eat their food before they can go play volleyball,” Shouyo said pointedly, offering another spoonful to each of them.

“Bally-ball!” Haruto chanted, slammed his fists down with more energy now.

A knock came at Shouyo’s door. He fought back a groan – who could possibly be here now?

He chose to ignore it in lieu of caring for his screaming toddlers, but it came again, more urgent this time. He sighed and scooped two squirming children out of their high chair seats, rocked them carefully as he yelled out a, “Coming!”

It took some maneuvering to open the door, but when he did, he saw a cranky, tired-looking Tobio. “Oh, good morning!” Shouyo set his children down, who immediately took to hiding behind one of each of his legs.

Tobio had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers. “Hi,” he said shortly. “I—uh, just was wondering if you could keep it down. Just a little. We um—” he waved his hand towards the wall connecting their homes— “we share a wall. It’s a little thin.”

Shouyo fought a scowl with a grin, and it ended up coming off as some weird (perhaps constipated) look. “Haruto, Mitsu, how about you go pick out some clothes for school today? Daddy will be there in a minute.”

The twins didn’t need to be given a second excuse to leave Tobio at the door; he seemed to radiate an energy that screamed ‘I hate kids’. Mitsu sniffled as she went, fought off a bout of tears that would likely come later that day.

The smile melted from Shouyo’s face and was instead replaced with a grimace, and had Tobio the mental capacity to reason with himself after losing out on a night of sleep, he might have realized he shouldn’t have come on such a busy morning. “Listen, Tobio,” Shouyo’s voice dropped deep, “I don’t know if you think you have some sort of angel kid or what, but I’m trying to raise twins on my own here and I’m sorry if they’re a little loud. We’ve been here exactly sixteen hours and you’ve already told me twice that my children are loud, but guess what? I know! I live with them!”

Never one to back away from a challenge, though, Tobio sneered and leaned closer. “My Ichiro never cried like your kids did all night last night. What, are you just unfit to be a parent?”

Shouyo practically steamed at the ears. “Don’t you dare try and tell me I’m unfit to be a parent,” he growled. “I gave up everything for my kids and I may not be the best father to them, but I’m doing what I can.”

Tobio couldn’t help but feel like he’d stepped on a land mine. Rather than rile the man up more, he tched and walked away without another word; had Shouyo’s children been at school, Shouyo would have likely gone after him, yelled some more, maybe sent a punch into that smug face of his. But Mitsu and Haruto’s voices chattered in the downstairs bedroom, and Shouyo would never do anything so cruel with his children’s watchful eyes on him.

It took Shouyo approximately forty-three seconds to fix his children’s outfit choices. Mitsu had settled for a bright pink dress with one green and one blue shoe – on the wrong feet, to top it off. Shouyo fixed her shoes while Haruto proudly marched around the room, a stuffed frog hanging out of his little chubby fist. His pants were inside-out and he’d put on two tee shirts. “Which one do you want to wear, buddy?” Shouyo asked while he peeled each of them off.

“Both!” Haruto chirped.

“How about one today and one tomorrow?”

“Both, daddy!”

Shouyo sighed, smiled to himself. “Okay, sure. Which one do you want on top?”

They tried breakfast again shortly after. It went much better this time, though Shouyo did have to take Haruto’s top shirt off of him due to most of his breakfast ending up on his shirt rather than in his mouth. Still, less than a half hour after Tobio’s rude greeting, Shouyo had each of his children’s bags thrown over his shoulders and they were walking to the local elementary school.

The walk itself wasn’t far – part of the reason Shouyo moved where he did. Though, if he’d known how grumpy his next door neighbor would be, he likely would have moved somewhere else. They lived in a small town just on the outskirts of Shouyo’s hometown, somewhere he never imagined himself moving back to. The elementary school was in a suburban area, surrounded by gorgeous houses, with a playground that spanned the size of half a football field at least. The gymnasium sat off the main building just a little ways, and just after Shouyo walked Mitsu and Haruto to the daycare room, he himself was escorted to the gymnasium.

“Can’t believe you decided to get a job here,” Kei droned, adjusting his glasses. He’d started teaching at the school just after college.

Shouyo laughed chipperly. “I love volleyball, I love my kids. I don’t see how this wasn’t the perfect option for me.”

“You’re right,” Kei sighed. “This probably was the perfect option for you.”

When they stepped inside, Shouyo found that the gymnasium was much larger than expected; there were large curtains separating the gymnasium into four half-courts. “We host a lot of the local middle school and high school sporting events here,” Kei explained. “Tournaments and such.”

“Right,” Shouyo nodded.

“We have two programs,” Kei further explained. “We run the younger kids’ camp just after lunch, while the older kids finish their school day. Then, the older kids come in.” He glanced over at Shouyo as he spoke. “It’s a little sad to see this is where you ended up, Shouyo.”

Shouyo laughed in response. “Maybe so,” he countered, “but I’d rather be on the court, even if it’s a small one, than in an office.”

“Sure,” Kei agreed finally.

“Kei!” a familiar voice called, and at the doorway of the gymnasium stood Tadashi, pushing a stroller ahead of him. “The front desk said I could find you here.”

“Well, you found me,” Kei replied with a mock-annoyed tone.

“Hold on, is that…Shouyo?”

“Hey, Tadashi!” Shouyo waved, his wide smile growing even wider.

“What are you doing here?” Tadashi asked, wheeled the stroller further into the gymnasium. “Last I heard, you and Hitoka were planning on settling down and—”

“Change of plans,” Shouyo rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Who’s this little one?” he gestured to the stroller, peeking at the small child that had drifted to sleep in the midst of their ride.

“Yuki,” Kei replied, ran a lazy hand through the child’s long, blonde hair. “Our daughter.”

Shouyo slapped a hand over his mouth. “You had a baby?!” he cried, though his voice was muffled by the hand clamped over his mouth.

Tadashi nodded, grin spread wide across his face. “Two winters ago, now.”

Shouyo sighed. “I guess I’ve missed a lot since I’ve been gone.”

“Not too much,” Kei replied. “We didn’t tell anyone about her until she was born, so.” He glanced at his watch impatiently. “Tadashi, mind waiting for me outside? I’ve got to finish showing Shouyo around.”

“Oh, I’ll be quiet!” Tadashi insisted.

“Yuki might not be,” Kei countered.

“She’s sleeping,” Shouyo replied. “Plus, I want to be here when she does wake up so she can meet Uncle Shouyo.”

Kei sighed, clicked his tongue, but didn’t protest. He led Shouyo through the gymnasium, the locker rooms, and up to the balcony level. “Tooru should also be here soon,” Kei muttered finally, looking again at his watch. “He’s late. That’s so like him.”

“Tooru…” Shouyo mumbled. “You don’t mean…Oikawa Tooru?”

“I do,” Kei sighed. “He’s been working here part time for about two years now. I asked him to be here early today to greet you.”

Shouyo had never gotten the chance to play volleyball against Tooru in high school or college, but he’d heard amazing things. Those amazing things were proven true when Tooru went pro for a few years – known as the Grand King to most of his fans, including Shouyo himself – but had to quit due to a knee injury. He feared he’d lost his one and only chance to ever play against Tooru; now he would be working alongside him.

“Sorry I’m late!” Tooru chirped from below. Shouyo hung off the railing like a child, a wide grin on his face. Tooru’s eyes met Shouyo. “You the newbie?”

“That’s me!” Shouyo couldn’t contain himself; he leapt down from the balcony, eliciting a cry of surprise from Tadashi and an annoyed sigh from Kei. Tooru watched with a faltering smile as he rushed up to greet him. “Hinata Shouyo,” Shouyo bowed his head. “It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

“Oikawa Tooru,” Tooru offered his hand to Shouyo. “Pleasure’s all mine. Are you working here part time, too?”

“Starting today,” Shouyo nodded.

“In that case, why don’t you help me set up the nets?”

“Yes sir!”

***

The stampede of toddlers into the gymnasium just after lunchtime was the one thing Shouyo felt he wasn’t prepared for.

Tooru stood beside him with open arms while the children rushed up to him, and several children rushed up to Shouyo, too. They jumped at his legs and Shouyo laughed, knelt down to greet them. Mitsu and Haruto were amidst them, running up and trying to tackle Shouyo to the ground – and they succeeded. He laughed warmly as children tugged at his hair, his ears, his arms.

Tooru blew a whistle and the children clambered off him. “Hi everyone!” he chirped.

“Hi Tooru-san!” the preschoolers chanted in response. Mitsu and Haruto clung to Shouyo’s legs after he pushed himself back to his feet.

“Today we have a new coach!”

The children cheered and some of them fidgeted, seemingly ready to pounce at Shouyo again, but Tooru somehow managed to keep them in line. “Everyone, say hello to Shouyo-san!”

“Hi Shouyo-san!” the preschoolers echoed.

“Shouyo-san will be coaching all the chibis today!” Tooru clapped his hands together. “Raise your hand if you’re a chibi!”

“Chibi?” Shouyo mumbled under his breath. Tooru leaned over to him.

“Everyone under the age of four is considered a chibi,” he explained his metric system.

“Right,” Shouyo nodded.

It didn’t take long for toddlers to surround him; Shouyo nearly fell over with the force of the children coming for him. Mitsu and Haruto clung harder to him, and even through the excited screams and yells of the children Shouyo could hear their nervous whimpering. He ruffled their orange hair, tried to calm them down, but with the children shouting around them the two only held on tighter.

“Where are my small fries?” Tooru called from beside him, and the rest of the children surrounded him in a flurry. He laughed warmly, patting children on the head gently. “Let’s go, small fries! We’re going to start with some running!”

In a few moments Shouyo’s side of the gymnasium cleared, and he was left with his children for the day. He grinned at each of them. “Chibis!” he called out over them. “Let’s sit in a nice, big circle!”

The shape ended up more lopsided than a circle – looked closer to a figure-eight, even – and Shouyo sat as close to the center as he could, each of his children taking the spot directly to his sides. Most of the children fidgeted and mumbled, but the majority obeyed the order. Shouyo grabbed a stray volleyball just a few feet away on the floor. “Let’s roll the ball to each other! Ready?”

He rolled the ball across the circle, and while the children couldn’t quite get the ball to go all the way where they wanted it, others made up for it by crawling to the center and rolling it again. The circle dissipated quickly in favor of the new spots the children crawled to. Shouyo sighed. A laugh bubbled out of him and as he heard a whistle on the other side of the gymnasium, he rose to his feet. “Let’s play!”

The practice went smoothly, for the most part. Shouyo taught the children a little bit about receiving, using a few of the soft rubber balls stored away in the gymnasium’s storage closet. They played tag and ‘Keep Up’ – where they had to keep the ball from touching the ground – and by the end, most of the toddlers either sat on the floor or on the bleachers to the side. Shouyo prided himself in having more energy than his children most days, but today he felt just as drained, and when Tooru rounded the corner he had a tough time hiding his fatigue.

“Good work today!” Tooru said in a happy voice. “The last guy could barely keep up with the kids, but it looks like you’ve got them well-handled.”

“Yeah,” Shouyo exhaled, smiled. “Having twins will do that to you.”

“I was wondering if those were your chibis,” Tooru nodded towards Mitsu and Haruto, who both had collapsed onto the gymnasium floor and were napping. “The hair gives you away, Shouyo-chan.”

Shouyo chuckled and gripped at his vibrant hair for good measure. “That’s what everyone says,” he sighed. “Do you have a little one here, too?” he scanned the crowd for a face that looked similar to Tooru’s.

“Oh, not me,” Tooru replied with a soft chuckle. “I just love volleyball.”

“I used to watch your matches all the time,” Shouyo gushed. “Never got to play the legendary Grand King, though.”

Tooru waved his hand dismissively. “Ah, I haven’t heard that nickname in years. What team did you play for, Shouyo-chan?”

“Karasuno High,” Shouyo replied. “Then I played for my university, Yuunei.”

“You must know my old friend!” Tooru replied then. “Iwaizumi Hajime. You know him?”

“We played in university together!” Shouyo affirmed.

“His little one goes here,” Tooru explained further. “That little booger over there.” Tooru gestured to a child deemed as a ‘small fry’ that busied himself by bouncing a volleyball as high as he could. “I’m Uncle Tooru to him,” he bragged.

Before Shouyo could respond, he heard the gymnasium doors slide open. “Ah, pickup time!” Tooru chirped, grabbed for Shouyo’s hand and dragged him towards the door. “This is the worst part,” he added.

“Why?” Shouyo asked.

“We have to say goodbye to the chibis and the small fries!” Tooru replied, throwing a dramatic hand to his forehead. “It’s devastating!”

A few parents approached Shouyo, noticed he was new. He chatted with them and called for their children, who – for the most part – came running as soon as he called for them. He had to chase a few stubborn toddlers around that didn’t quite want to go home yet, and despite his annoyance and fatigue he laughed while he did, scooped them up and made them giggle.

The process went quite quickly. Soon there were only a few children left – minus Shouyo’s own. Hajime hadn’t shown up yet, and the parent of a dark-haired boy with the most piercing blue eyes had yet to present themselves. “Oh,” Tooru noted, looking at the boy, “Tobio-chan is back in town.”

“Tobio-chan?” Shouyo replied. He remembered, then, his grumpy neighbor and fought a grimace. “Oh, that asshole,” he grumbled.

“Yeah, that’s the one!” Tooru laughed. “How do you know Tobio-chan?”

“He’s my new neighbor,” Shouyo sighed. “Got all up in arms because my toddlers are too loud.” He sighed.

Someone knocked on the gymnasium door, despite it being swung open. “Hello?” called a familiar voice, and Shouyo turned around to see Hajime. “Oi, Shouyo!” Hajime stepped into the gymnasium, a rare smile across his face. “Nice to see you, bud!”

“What about me?” Tooru huffed a pout, scooped Hajime’s child up into his arms. The boy laughed and kicked his feet.

“I see you every damn day, Tooru,” Hajime huffed. “It’s been years since I’ve seen Shouyo!”

Shouyo clapped him on the back in a hug. “How are you, Hajime?”

“Better than I’ve ever been,” he replied with a sigh. “What’re you doing here? I thought you and Hitoka were jumping ship and heading for the United States.”

“She left for business,” Shouyo replied, “but we decided last-minute that I should stay and raise the kids here instead.”

On cue, Mitsu and Haruto came running, grabbed at Shouyo’s legs and begged to be carried. Shouyo scooped Haruto up and Hajime reached for Mitsu. “You remember me?” Hajime asked the girl. “You’ve gotten so big!”

Mitsu shied behind Shouyo’s legs.

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Hajime asked. “There’s so much we need to catch up on.”

“We’d love to, but I’ve got stuff to unpack at home,” Shouyo rubbed his neck with his free hand. “Can you take a rain check?”

“Next week,” Hajime smiled.

From the doorway, a man cleared his throat. “Ichiro,” he called from the doorframe.

That dark-haired boy went running toward the voice that Shouyo (sadly) recognized as the grumpy voice that had complained to him – twice – about noisy toddlers. As if they aren’t noisy normally, Shouyo thought with a grimace. Still, he turned in the direction of the voice and to his dismay saw Tobio, who now looked well-rested but that grumpy expression still presented itself to him.

“The King is here!” Tooru teased from the other side of the gym, walked towards the door that Tobio stood at. “Tobio-chan, when did you get in?”

“Saturday night,” Tobio replied shortly. “Didn’t get much—”

Tobio’s eyes fell on the three matching heads of orange hair. “You,” he groaned.

“The ‘King’?” Shouyo muttered. “No…you’re not…the Tobio? Kageyama Tobio?!”

“That’s me,” Tobio replied simply.

“The insane setter?!” Shouyo cried, loud enough that Haruto tugged on his ear in annoyance.

“I wouldn’t say insane,” Tooru sneered. “People call him a ‘genius’, mostly.”

“But you’re such an asshole,” Shouyo mumbled.

“What did you call me?” Tobio barked.

Shouyo set Haruto down, much to the boy’s disappointment. He put a hand to his head, a laugh bubbling out of him as he tried to comprehend what he was hearing. Two of the best volleyball players in Japan – Tooru and Tobio – were in the gymnasium with Shouyo at this very moment, and he worked with one of them and neighbored the other. “This is a prank,” he said finally.

“Welcome back, Tobio,” Hajime said as if it were the most natural thing in the world that he would be standing in the same room as the King and the Grand King.

“I need to sit down,” Shouyo whispered.

“You act like they’re celebrities,” Hajime teased.

“Because they are!” Shouyo replied.

Hajime just shook his head and wandered over to Tooru’s side. “Can you watch Aito tomorrow until I get out of work?”

“How does that sound, Aito-chan?” Tooru looked at the boy in his arms. “Dinner with Uncle Tooru?”

“Can we have dino nuggets?” Aito asked, almost nervously. Hajime shook his head.

“Of course we can!” Tooru replied, stuck his tongue out at Hajime. “Uncle Tooru is the best, right?!”

“Uncle Tooru is the best!” Aito echoed.

In the meantime, Tobio had stepped further into the gymnasium with Ichiro practically glued to his side. He walked directly up to Shouyo, that scowl still prominent, and had Shouyo recovered from his shock at learning Tobio’s identity (he knew he recognized him from somewhere, but hadn’t been able to pin it down until then), he likely would have teased something about the man asking his children to be quiet again. Instead, Tobio stopped a few feet in front of him. “So,” he said, a little awkwardly, “you’re a volleyball coach, huh?”

Shouyo just nodded.

“Ichiro’s a good setter,” Tobio said sternly. “I’d like you to have him set.”

Shouyo shook his head a bit, a little confused by the request. “Tobio,” he said finally, “Ichiro’s still a toddler. We didn’t do any official volleyball today—”

“It’s a volleyball practice, isn’t it?” Tobio replied, voice surprisingly calm and completely betraying his ever-furrowing eyebrows.

“Yes, but they’re kids—”

“My boy is going to be a setter,” Tobio said, pinched the bridge of his nose. “If you can’t coach actual volleyball then I’ll have Tooru teach him.”

“No way,” Tooru called across the gymnasium. “Ichiro-chan isn’t getting any special treatment from me!”

Tobio growled under his breath. “What are you doing here, then?” he scowled back at Shouyo. “Following me? What?”

“I—I’m sorry?” Shouyo sputtered.

“If you can’t actually play volleyball—”

“Oh, I can play volleyball—”

“Prove it, then!” Tobio snapped. “If you can’t teach a toddler how to set, then you must not be very good at volleyball.”

“He’s a toddler!” Shouyo replied, voice rising. “I’m not going to teach a toddler how to set! I’m going to teach him the basics!”

“Setting is the basics!”

“Knock it off,” Tooru said sternly. “We’ll play a three-on-three. Kei and Tadashi have been looking for a reason to play again, anyway.”

Both men caught their breath from their yelling. “Fine,” Tobio muttered finally. “I’ll take this guy,” he gestured to Hajime, “and Kei.”

“That means I get to set to Shouyo-chan!” Tooru lilted. “I think we’ll make a great pair!”

But Shouyo’s gaze remained firmly on Tobio. “You’re on,” he grumbled, and only after Tobio stormed out of the gymnasium with Ichiro following behind him did he realize that he just agreed to a volleyball match against one of the best setters in the world.

[nickelkeep]

Twas the Night

Pairing: Dean/Cas - Timestamp to Like the Angel Rating: Teen, to be on the safe side. Word Count: 3500 Warnings: Tooth. Rotting. Fluff. Written For: @notfunnydean​‘s 2019 SPN Advent Calendar Day 11 - Christmas Story On Ao3

Quick Side Note - I’ve been sick, which is why you haven’t seen one of these in a while. I missed days 12 through 15, which I have made reference to in the fic. There’s a better explanation if you follow the Ao3 Link. 😘

---

“Daddy?”

Dean shook his head as Emma called him from down the hallway. Sixteen years old, and she knew that she could get just about anything she wanted by singsonging ‘daddy’ instead of just calling him Dad. “What’s up, Em?”

“It’s Christmas Eve!”

“Uh, yeah.” Dean got up from his bed and walked down the hallway to Emma’s room and leaned against her doorframe. “You gonna tell me something I don’t know, Kiddo?”

“We need to get started!” Emma was sitting on her floor with her back to the door. “It’s Cas’ first Christmas with us, and I want to make sure he enjoys it.”

Dean smiled. “Whatcha got there?”

“It’s uh, it’s a part of his Christmas present.” Emma looked over her shoulder and smiled.

“You’re not going to tell me what it is?” Dean stepped closer to look over Emma and see what she was making or doing. “You know I can keep a secret, Em.”

Emma blushed bright red. “I was gonna, you know, that thing we talked about a week ago.”

“Say no more, Kiddo.” Dean squatted down next to Emma and pulled her into a hug. “Cas is gonna love it.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’m glad one of us is sure of it.”

Dean stood back up and rested his hands on his lower back. “You gonna come help me make breakfast?”

“Cinnamon Rolls? Or are you going to try that new recipe you found?” Emma gathered the items that had been spread out on the floor around her and stacked them neatly in a pile before standing up. “I’m okay with trying something new for breakfast.”

“Is this that new tradition thing you’ve been pushing?” Dean crossed his arms over his chest and smiled fondly at his daughter. “I love how much you want to make sure Cas is included.” He started backing up towards the door. “Come help me make the Honey Bread?”

Emma returned the smile and followed down to the kitchen.

---

Cas made it downstairs to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and something baked or baking in the oven. Emma was sitting at the kitchen island drawing while Dean was standing over the stove dancing and singing along to some Christmas song. “You still working on that drawing, Em?

Emma looked up and shook her head. “Nope, these are just some warmup sketches. Wanna see?”

“Of course.” Cas stopped and gave Dean a kiss before sitting on the stool next to Emma’s. “Looks like you’re in the Christmas spirit.” Cas pointed to one of the figures. “Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Be?”

“Yep! I really liked Mr. Roche’s lesson on A Christmas Carol.” Emma smiled. “Did you check to see if I get to be in your class next semester, Cas?”

“Which one?”

Emma shot one of her Uncle Sam’s bitchfaces at Cas. “Really, Cas?”

“Yes, you are in my Mythology in Modern Literature class.” Cas chuckled. “But, remember, Ms. Milton wasn’t really sure that with your dad and I dating that it would be a good idea. We gotta prove that this will work.” Dean set a mug of coffee in front of Cas, and Cas immediately picked it up to drink. “I know that we’ll be fine, but we have to make sure I’m not showing favoritism.”

“I didn’t slack last year.” Emma pouted.

Cas tucked a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear. “Which is why Ms. Milton said it was okay for you to be in the class and for me to teach it.”

“Coming in!” Dean placed a plate in front of Cas and waited as Emma moved her drawing stuff before setting hers breakfast down. “Sorry to interrupt serious school talk.”

“Dean, you told me you guys do cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning.” Cas tilted his head. “What’s this?”

“Em and I found the recipe online and thought it might be something you would like.” Dean set some sort of spread on the table. “It’s a honey bread, with cinnamon sugar butter. And of course, bacon, because God forbid I don’t ever make you two bacon.”

Dean’s quip earned a chuckle from both Emma and Cas. Cas watched as Dean finished putting together his own plate and sat down with them before taking a bite of the bread. “Wow,” Cas replied with food in his mouth, causing Dean to roll his eyes. Cas swallowed his food before speaking again. “I’m serious, this is really good.” He reached for the butter and started spreading it on.

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Cas.” Dean popped a piece of bacon in his mouth.

“I am.” Cas took a bite of the bread with the butter and moaned happily. “So good.”

“Cas, you’d think you never had food before.” Emma snarked.

“I’m always a sucker for new foods that are delicious.” Cas winked at her. “So, you two haven’t told me what you all do on Christmas Eve, besides breakfast, of course.”

Emma looked at Dean, who nodded in approval. “Well, after breakfast, we usually go and get any last-minute gifts and pick up anything that Gramma Ellen might need for dinner.”

“Ma feeds us at the Roadhouse,” Dean elaborated, “She won’t know for certain what she needs for dinner tonight until she does a quick inventory check after closing. She’ll probably be calling in the next…” Dean looked at the clock on the microwave. “Ten to fifteen minutes.”

“That sounds like an adventure.” Cas propped his chin on his hand. “So should we get dressed?”

Dean shrugged. “Not to sound apathetic, but while it sounds like a day of adventure, we’re still kinda lazy. Usually, Ma calls, then we get dressed. But, if you’re raring to go.”

“Sorry, just looking to spending this Christmas with my…” Cas looked back and forth between Dean and Emma. “With my family.”

“Well, Cas. We want to celebrate it with you too.” Dean stood up and grabbed the empty plates, taking them over to the sink and rinsing them off.

“We want to know your traditions too. We don’t want to force you into a mold. We’ve grown as a family, so we have room to take in and make new traditions.” Emma took Cas’ mug and took a drink from it. “You really need coffee with your cream, Cas.”

Cas laughed and ruffled Emma’s hair. “Let’s go get dressed then, and your dad can follow suit. I’ll show you two what I do on Christmas Eve.”

“Do we need to get fancy-dressed?” Emma raised her eyebrow.

“No, Emma, jeans are fine.” Emma did a little happy dance and headed off to her room. Cas looked at Dean. “‘Fancy-dressed’ is your phrase, isn’t it?”

“What can I say, Angel? Emma and I are simple creatures.” Dean closed the dishwasher and started it before crossing over to Cas. He pressed his lips against Cas’ temple, leaving a soft kiss. “Let’s go get changed.”

---

As Dean had promised, Ellen called with a list of groceries for their dinner. After stopping to pick up their last-minute Christmas Gifts, Dean, Cas, and Emma stopped by the grocery store to grab the items for dinner. They swung by the Roadhouse and dropped them off, asking if there’s anything they could do to help with dinner. Ellen playfully swatted at Dean with a towel and promised that Jo and Charlie already claimed the elf honors for the year.

After joking about food poisoning - “Did they forget that Charlie could burn water?” Dean complained in jest - Cas took Dean’s phone and plugged in an address in the maps app.

The location Dean pulled the Impala in front of turned out to be a homeless shelter. “What’s all this, Cas?”

“It’s a bit of a story,” Cas explained, but he continued when Emma leaned over the front seat. “I haven’t told you much about when I was in college, Emma. But I didn’t go for what my parents wanted me to go for. It was bad enough that I was gay, but to completely misuse their gift of college was the last straw. I was just short of disowned. So, my first year after I graduated college, I was completely alone on Christmas Eve.” Cas paused and ran his fingers through Emma’s hair. “It’s okay. I’m okay, as you can see now. But then, I was a new teacher, I didn’t know anyone well enough, and I had nowhere to go. 

“Instead of moping around my empty apartment watching TV by myself with just Chinese food to keep me company, I pulled out my laptop. I found the closest LGBT friendly shelter.” He gestured to the building they were parked next to. “I called and asked if they did any kind of dinner, and the rest is history. I felt loved, I felt safe, and I felt good giving to people who didn’t have even the little bit I had. So, every Christmas Eve I come here. To thank them for taking me and accepting me when my own family wouldn’t. Some years I even join in for Christmas, even though they don’t necessarily need me on that day.” Cas turned to face Dean. “Remember, you asked where I sometimes go when I don’t come home right away?” Dean nodded. “It’s here.”

Cas patted the back of the seat and smiled. “Let’s get you two inside and introduce you both to the people who run the shelter and those in charge of the kitchen.”

“That sounds great, Cas.” Dean beamed at him.

Once inside, Cas was greeted by several members of the staff with whom he was familiar. They were excited to meet Dean and Emma. They had heard so much about them over the past several months. Cas had bragged about Dean’s skills in the kitchen, and he was quickly got roped into helping cook. Cas took his usual spot on the serving line. Emma was a little too young to help with the food– “I just turned sixteen!” She complained. –but they asked her to play with the younger kids and watch over them.

They stuck around for as long as they could. Dean had to literally pull Emma away from the younger kids, and Cas bribed her with the promise they would come back sooner than next Christmas. She spent the entire drive to the Roadhouse recounting her stories of playing with the kids, bringing smiles to Dean’s and Cas’ face.

Once they pulled into a spot, Emma practically leaped out of the car and ran inside. Dean and Cas took a moment to look at each other and revel in her enthusiasm before getting out themselves and grabbing presents out of the back of the car.

“You think she would have helped us.” Dean smiled at Cas, kissing him on the corner of his mouth before heading inside. “Oh, by the way. Ma has probably hung up at least a dozen sprigs of mistletoe.”

Cas laughed and looked up. “Looks like we hit the first one.” He leaned over and kissed Dean on the cheek.

---

After dinner and introducing Cas to their Christmas Eve Present tradition, Dean excused the three of them from the drinking games portion of the evening. There was no argument from any member of his family, which Dean was grateful for. He walked behind Cas and Emma, watching as Cas wrapped his arm around Emma and hugged her tightly. Warmth flowed through him, and he silently kicked himself for not having his phone out to snap a photo.

Emma curled up with a new blanket that Charlie made her, while Cas admired a first edition copy of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn that Sam gave him. Dean snuck glances at them both on the ride home, excited for what was next.

As he pulled into the driveway, Dean looked at Emma. “You wanna tell Cas about our last tradition, Kiddo?”

“Cas, do you know The Tailor of Gloucester?” Emma yawned and slid out of the backseat before Cas could answer.

“I do,” Cas replied, getting out of the car right behind Emma. “Beatrix Potter. It’s a Christmas story of hers. Why?”

“Dad tucks me in and reads it to me.” Emma blushed. “I know I’m probably too old for that now.”

Cas pulled Emma into another hug. “You’re never too old to enjoy having someone read to you. Your dad bugs me to read to him occasionally.”

“Will you read it tonight?” Emma asked.

“But, you just said it’s you and your dad’s thing.” Cas looked at Dean with a look that Dean was pretty sure equated to asking for help.

“It’s fine, Cas. I already knew Em was going to ask.” Dean winked and walked to the front door. “Let’s get inside, so we don’t freeze, and then we can all curl up in Emma’s bed and enjoy the story.”

The suggestion appeared to calm Cas down, and the trio entered the house to warm up. Emma ran ahead upstairs, while Cas and Dean took their time climbing the stairs.

“Dean, I don’t want to step on your toes,” Cas commented, concern still in his voice.

They entered their room, and Dean cupped Cas’ face in his hands. “I promise that you’re not. Do it this year, and next year we can do it together, or we can take turns to who does it.” Dean ran his thumb over Cas’ cheek before crossing to their dresser. He grabbed a pair of Cas’ pajama pants and tossed them to him. “Let’s not keep her waiting.”

Cas and Dean finished changing and walked down to Emma’s room. She had left the door open for them to come in. 

“Hop under the blanket, Kiddo.” Dean pointed at the bed, and Emma obliged him, quickly scrambling to climb under the covers. She grabbed the book off of her nightstand and waited until Cas was sitting next to her.

“Last call, Emma. Are you sure you want me to read it?” Cas hesitated as he took the book and opened the cover.

“Yes, Cas, I’m sure. I’m positive. I’m 16, not six.” She stuck her tongue out at Cas and was bopped on the nose playfully.

“I hear you. Just…” Cas took a deep breath and relaxed, leaning back against her headboard. “Thank you, Emma.” He shot a warm look at Dean, which Dean responded to with a hair ruffle. “‘In the time of swords and periwigs and full-skirted coats with flowered lappets—when gentlemen wore ruffles, and gold-laced waistcoats of paduasoy and taffeta—there lived a tailor in Gloucester…’”

As the story continued, Dean would occasionally poke Emma to keep her awake, knowing how she was prone to fall asleep when being read to. He smiled as he watched Cas animate the story with his body and his voice. Even Dean could admit to finding a new love for the story, with Cas reading it in his own way.

“‘He made the most wonderful waistcoats for all the rich merchants of Gloucester, and for all the fine gentlemen of the country round.

“‘Never were seen such ruffles, or such embroidered cuffs and lappets! But his button-holes were the greatest triumph of it all.

“‘The stitches of those button-holes were so neat—so neat—I wonder how they could be stitched by an old man in spectacles, with crooked old fingers, and a tailor’s thimble.

“‘The stitches of those button-holes were so small—so small—they looked as if they had been made by little mice!” 

Cas turned the page to get to “The End,” but found in its place a sticky note. “What’s this, Emma?” He pulled it off and read it. “‘Ask Emma for your card.’ What card would that be?”

Emma reached under her pillow and pulled out a card. “Merry Christmas, Cas.” She handed it to him and smiled, cuddling up against Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head.

“Thank you?” Cas tilted his head and opened the envelope. “Oh, good, no glitter.”

“Glitter is the herpes of the craft world, Cas.” Emma laughed.

“Is that your Dad or your Aunt Charlie?” Cas pulled out the card. On the front was a stylized picture of two dads and a daughter. “‘Your art only gets better and better, Emma.” He opened the card and started reading it to himself. Cas smiled until he got to a particular spot and froze. He looked back and forth between Emma and Dean, tears building up in his eyes. “Emma?”

Dean had pulled out his phone and set it to record. “What’s it say, Cas?”

“You knew.” Cas pointed at Dean and sniffled, fighting to hold back his tears. “Dear Cas. I want to thank you for so many things. First, for being my teacher. You have taught me so much, and not just from the books you share. I’ve learned about caring and compassion.” Cas smiled at Emma, “Your dad has taught you a lot of that too.”

“Hush, Cas, keep reading.” Dean smiled.

“Thank you for making Dad happy and becoming apart of our family. While we were content, you brought a new kind of happiness to our lives.” Cas reached forward and tucked Emma’s hair behind her ear. “You two have brought such joy to my life.”

Emma leaned into Cas’ touch, smiling.

“Since I’m running out of the room on this card, let me thank you for being my other Dad. I never knew I was missing a second parent until you became mine.” Cas sobbed softly. “Merry Christmas, Papa. I love you, Em.” Cas pulled Emma into his arms. “I love you too, Emma.”

“If you don’t like Papa, we can pick something else.” Emma looked up. “Or I can keep calling you Cas.”

Cas wiped away a tear from Dean’s face, and then one from Emma’s. “Emma, I am proud to be your Papa. Thank you for letting me.”

Emma surged forward and wrapped her arms around Cas’ neck. “Love you, Papa.” Dean wrapped his arms around both of them, causing Emma to giggle. “You know I love you, Dad.”

“Of course I do, Kiddo. I just needed to hug my two favorite people.” Dean planted a kiss on the top of her head. “Time for bed, though.” Dean stood up and walked to the other side of Emma’s bed and offered his hand to Cas, helping him to his feet. “If you don’t go to sleep, Santa won’t come.”

“Really, Dad?”

“Yep. No presents for daughters who remind their Dads of their age, either.” Dean pointed at Emma, winking as Cas dragged him out of the room. Dean quietly closed the door behind them and turned to smile at his partner. He gently cupped Cas’ cheek and rested their foreheads together. “Can I give you your present now?”

Cas smirked as they walked to their room. “Did you get me the nutcracker I asked for?”

“You were serious about that?” Dean laughed, entering their room, and heading to the closet. “I thought you were just a Grinch when I asked what you wanted.”

“I was a little facetious.” Dean handed Cas a few presents as he continued. “Remember what I said at the shelter earlier?”

“Of course, Angel.” Dean loaded up his own arms and gestured to the door. “I knew about your family, that was one of the first things I learned about you. I want to give you the holiday that you haven’t been able to experience in years.”

Cas led the way downstairs to the Christmas Tree. “You’ve already done so much, Dean. You and Emma both. I haven’t had a Christmas this memorable since my first one after graduating college.” He set the boxes down and turned to look at Dean. “I love that you want to do this for me, and I love you.”

“I love you too, Cas.” Dean set the presents under the tree and took the ones out of Cas’ arms. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

“I did, I asked if you got me a nutcracker.” Cas crossed his arms. “None of those boxes look like they could be a nutcracker.”

“Cas.” Dean rotated toward Cas while dropping to one knee. He pulled a box out of his pocket. “I know this is probably a little soon, but when you know something is right, you shouldn’t let it go.”

Dean watched as Cas’ face twisted in confusion before brightening in understanding. “Dean, is that what I think it is?”

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean swallowed and nodded, his hands shaking slightly as he cracked the box open. “Emma said it best: We were happy, but you brought us something we didn’t know we were missing.” Dean paused and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Marry me, Cas?”

Cas broke out into a brilliant smile and reached to the Christmas tree, pulling off an ornament. “I lied about this one.” Cas fell to one knee in front of Dean, putting them at the same level. “I’ll marry you on one condition.” He twisted the ornament and took the top off, revealing his own ring. “You say yes, also.”

“Hell, yes.” Dean lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Cas’ - his fiance’s - neck, and enveloped him in a tight embrace.

[thelookingglassalice]

Blindness Chapter 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Captain America x Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier x OC/Violet

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death

Word Count: 1725

Summary: Love is the most painful thing, isn’t it?

A/N: For @avengerscompound Kate’s “Take a Line” Writing Challenge and @star-spangled-bingo Round 2

Prompt:  Love is clockworks and cold steel.  Fingers too numb to feel.  Squeeze the handle. Blow out the candle.  Love is blindness.  “Love is Blindness - U2”

Square Filled: Steve’s Apartment

Love can make you blind to the danger you’re in. The danger of being hurt. The danger of losing or being lost. 

They had met Violet at the hospital. She was a nurse. They had first come into the hospital as part of a fundraiser Tony was running. Bucky had gotten tired of the crowds of strangers and wandered into the pediatric hospital. There was a playroom with parents and kids milling around. He was always worried children would be intimidated by his arm, but they always loved it. To them, it wasn’t a weapon. He was just like them, some machinery to help him, that’s. He was sitting in one of the tiny chairs playing ‘Guess Who’ with a couple of kids when she came in.

“Hello...some of the parents asked who the new volunteer was. I’m guessing that’s you? And also you can’t just wander in here.” Violet raised an eyebrow. Bucky stood up quickly, almost knocking the tiny chair down.

“I’m sorry. I was at the fundraiser and-” He tried not to roll his eyes. “-I needed a breather?”

“Security told me. Luckily we use Stark Industries and it notified us that you weren’t a criminal. Well, it did say you were a bad guy, but it was in quotation marks. So, we just asked Mr. Stark.” Violet smiled at a few of the parents and opened the door to the playroom. Bucky followed her out and they met Steve looking down random halls.

“I am sorry. I didn’t think of the security. It’s a different time.” Bucky shrugged in apology.

“What happened? Tony said you were being evicted from the children’s ward for being a moron. I felt it needed further investigating.” Steve approached with a smile.

“It’s not like when we were kids and I could come to visit you and sneak you shit, sorry, stuff. It’s on lockdown now.” Bucky explained and held a hand out to Violet. “It’s okay, she evicted me gently.”

“I tried. Captain Rogers, I will release the evictee into your hands.” Violet smirked, green eyes flashing.

“It’s James,” Bucky responded. He watched Steve respond to her contagious smile with one of his own.

“Violet. And if you two ever want to visit for real, you know, through security. The kids would probably love it. Bye.” Violet waved over her shoulder as she walked away.

Steve was watching the fall of her hair, almost the same shade of his, and her purposeful walk. She held herself high. Like Peggy and Nat. Confidence. Strength. He swallowed thickly and Bucky made a chuffing noise.

“See something you like?” Bucky murmured as they walked away.

“You were the one flirting. James.” Steve teased back.

Bucky shrugged. Yeah, he had liked her smile. Her lips looked soft and she touched her tongue to them when she was thinking or teasing. It wasn’t flirty or intentional, she just did it. But the effect it was having on him was unsettling.

They had taken the suggestion and tried to visit the hospital a couple times a month. Violet was usually there. If she was on the overnights sometimes she would come in early to play with them and the kids.

It was subtle but all three of them became aware of an unspoken attraction. The only reason no one acted in it was the status of Bucky and Steve’s relationship. They were in a strange stasis. They wanted to be with one another. They knew times had changed, they had no reason to be confused and a million other platitudes. But it was difficult getting over that. They didn’t want their lives to screw with their work. So they had their own apartments, more often than not they stayed at one another’s place. They had kissed but never knew where to go from there. It was a weird headspace. 

Violet was another issue entirely. They were both attracted to her. But in all their imaginings it was the three of them together. How do you approach someone with that?

Violet took it out of their hands.

“We should go out sometime.” Violet was pulling on her coat in the walkway of the hospital. Steve was holding her bag for her and almost dropped it.

“Whom...are you addressing?” Steve asked slowly.

“Whom?” Bucky frowned and shot him a look.

“Despite that unfortunate word use, I was asking both of you.” Violet laughed and took her backpack from Steve. They started the walk to the parking garage to their cars.

“Like to a club or dinner?” Bucky asked.

“Clubs are not really my thing anymore. I barely have the energy to ask you guys out. But a movie and dinner. Out or at my place. You two decide, just let me know. I have the weekend off. Bye.” She threw that familiar casual wave over her shoulder as she got in her car.

“Huh, that’s a new one.” Bucky mused.

“Yeah, the first time a girl asked you out and she actually included me without you asking.” Steve bumped Bucky’s shoulder.

It progressed from there. It was natural how it became the three of them. Like any other relationship. 

“What would you do to get someone you loved back?” Violet, Steve, and Bucky actually had the day off. They had convened in Steve’s apartment and were currently on the bed being lazy. Violet was reading something, laying on her back with her head at the foot of the bed. Next to her, Bucky had his head on Steve’s shoulder, watching something on television. He was rubbing her leg with one hand. Steve had all the pillows and was propped up against the headboard, one hand behind his head the other on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I got beat half to death, almost drowned, and became an international fugitive. I’m not up to doing much more.” Steve muttered as he watched the screen.

“I broke through some pretty sophisticated brainwashing and helped dispatch an international collective of bad guys. So...I’m gonna sit the next one out too.” Bucky tickled Violet’s calf and she laughed.” You’re going to have to do something pretty fucking impressive to hang with us, Vi.”

“Oh great, I’ll just run right into Hell and back.” Violet snorted a laugh, then met Steve and Bucky’s questioning gaze. “It’s a song. Meatloaf?”

“That’s the name of the song?” Steve asked.

“Never mind. I need to stop reading mythology.” Violet tossed the book to the floor and sat up. She shifted and laid down against Bucky’s back, her arms around his waist. “What are you watching?”

“It’s that one with the toys that are alive. I really relate to that Buzz guy.” Bucky answered.

“Enjoying the Disney plus, huh?” Violet put her chin on the hand Steve had on Bucky’s shoulder to see the television.

“I thought ‘Snow White’ was the best it could get. I was wrong.” Steve’s eyes were glued to the animation.

Violet’s work phone went off and she groaned.

“I’m not even on call.” She checked it and made a noise of frustration. “Someone didn’t show up and there’s a post-op today. It’s one of my regulars.” 

“You can go. But warn them that we will eventually kidnap you and take you away for a week. Just as a heads up.” Bucky made a grab for her arm as she stood up.

“I’ll start looking for cabins to hide in as soon as this is over.” Steve offered.

“Thanks, you two are the best.” She pulled on scrubs and leaned over to press a kiss to Bucky then Steve’s lips before leaving.

“I love her,” Bucky said casually.

“Me too.” Steve agreed, still in the movie.

Being blindly in love can have more than one meaning. In their case, they were enjoying the bubble of actually finding this feeling. They hadn’t yet hit the wall of wondering when it would end. Bucky had fleeting thoughts. How he got lucky enough to be with two amazing people after all his transgressions. Steve wondered if he would finally, finally get to rest and have something for himself.

So, of course, this led to the blindside of being called by one of Violet’s co-workers and told she was involved in an incident.

All of their battles, every dangerous thing that could come after them, their team, their friends and they survived. But they couldn’t be there when she was attacked leaving the hospital. By a random criminal.

They were blind in their faith that they deserved to be happy.

Steve and Bucky sat next to the bed. They had tried to save her, but the blood loss was too bad. Bucky had raged that they needed to get her to the tower, to the equipment that could save her. They had saved Clint how many times? Tony arranged transport and they tried with all their technology. But it couldn’t fix gone.

So they sat alone in the lab next to the vessel of what they loved. Bucky pushed her hair off her face, still the same color as Steve’s. But those green eyes. They wouldn’t see them again.

Steve’s jaw was set so tight it looked like his teeth would break.

“We should, um, get her ready for the coroner.” Steve coughed.

“Why, though? Why did  we get to have her, to discover what we had...just so some random fuck up of fate would end it?” Bucky asked. He looked at Steve, honest confusion in his face.

“Buck-”

“No, it’s wrong.” Bucky insisted, shaking his head. Steve felt his heart give a painful throb. He lost Violet now he was dangerously close to losing a piece of Bucky. It had taken so long to help him past his trauma. Yea, it wasn’t fucking-

“FAIR!” Steve screamed and threw his chair. Bucky stared at him open-mouthed. “NOT FUCKING FAIR! We deserved this. We sacrificed everything we had, have, could have to fucking save the world, save the galaxy. When do we get one goddamn break?”

“Steve-”

“Sorry, I’m good.” Steve inhaled and ran his fingers through his hair.

“No, Steve.” Bucky jumped up, slapping Steve’s chest and pointing to the bed.

“What’s...the...yelling?” Violet’s eyes were open, but that green was gone. For all intents and purposes, she looked like a corpse. But she was talking and propped up on her elbows.

[alindakb]

Letters to my Parents - Thursday 5 Augustus 1993 - by Alinda

Thursday 5 Augustus 1993

Dear mom and dad,

I ran away from home yesterday. Don’t get mad, please. It’s just that Aunt Marge came to visit. She’s a horrible person. And I kind of lost my temper when she insulted you both. The week had started off so good. On the night of my birthday, I received a letter from Draco, the first one this summer. He was okay and still allowed to go to Hogwarts the coming school year. He said it had helped that Hermione hadn’t had enough time to study for her exams, making it possible for him to become the top of our class. It had helped his mother to convince his father. Not that they are on speaking turns. Draco says they are fighting all the time. He hides away in his wing of the house (I still can’t believe he has his own wing, I’m already glad I finally have my own room) to avoid them the best he can.

Included with Draco’s letter was my first ever birthday card. I placed it on my bedside table while I read his letter. But I was interrupted a couple of times. Firstly by Hedwig who came back with a birthday card from Hermione. She’s in France, enjoying her holiday by learning about the local history of witchcraft. A little later Ron’s family owl Errol showed up with a card from Ron. He is in Egypt with his family after they won the Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw. Ron is also getting a new wand next year, which is good because that broken wand of his causes more problems than it solves.

I also received a card from Greg. His family didn’t go on holiday, says they haven’t for years. Not since his brother died anyway. I still need to ask him about that and tell him I’m sorry. My trying to kill myself brought back a lot of nasty memories for him. He told me he’s been to visit Draco once this holiday and that Draco looks to be doing okay. He only talks about me all the time now I’m not around him. Greg begged me to tell him to stop obsessing about me so they can talk about Quidditch and stuff.

Hagrid send me a card that included a present. And off course, it was no ordinary present. I hadn’t even unwrapped it fully when the parcel quivered and started to snap loudly. I took my lamp and raised it over my head so I could strike if it was necessary and then pulled off the rest of the wrapping paper. A large book fell out of it with a beautiful green cover. Before the book scuttled sideways and then fell off the bed with a loud clunk I could read the title, written in golden letters. The monster book of Monsters it said. The book hid under my desk. When I tried to grab it, it snapped shut on my hand. When it tried to escape I jumped on it and then held it closed with a belt tightly buckled around it.

Together with Hagrid’s package came also my Hogwarts letter for the coming year. It was the normal stuff, informing me that the school year will start on the 1st of September and a list with the books and supplies I will need. But it also included a permission form to visit Hogsmeade. That made me a little sad because there was no way Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia were going to sign it for me.

By then it was already two o’clock when I could sit down in peace with my flashlight and the letter Draco had sent me. I read it a couple of times until I almost knew every word by heart. As I said, he’s hiding out in his own wing. He finished all his homework in the first week of the holiday and is now reading this interesting book about potions. He misses me a lot, says it’s weird to sleep alone in his massive bed. His mother is taking him to Diagon Alley to get his supplies the Sunday before school starts and he hopes I can go that day as well, so we can finally see each other again. He misses kissing me. And to be honest, so do I. His lips are always so soft. I dream about them at night.

The next morning Aunt Marge came to visit. You know I’ve told you about her before. She’s Uncle Vernon’s sister, the one and only bulldog breeder. She was the one that beat me with her walking stick on Dudley’s fifth birthday to stop me from winning musical statues. And a few years later she gave me dog biscuits for Christmas. And the year before I went to Hogwarts I accidentally (and maybe a little bit on purpose) I stepped on the tail of her favourite dog. The beast had chased me into a tree and Aunt Marge didn’t call him off until long after midnight. And now that nightmare was visiting again, for a whole week. It was the worst birthday present I ever got from the Dursleys.

So for an entire week, I had to pretend that I went to St. Brutus’s Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys, was not allowed to do any ‘funny’ stuff and I was to keep a civil tongue when talking to her. I woke up Hedwig as soon as Uncle Vernon left to tell her to go stay at the Weasley’s for a week, that it wouldn’t be safe for her to stay with Aunt Marge around. I’m sure one of her dogs would go after her. After that, I made sure all my cards and letters from friends, just like my schoolbooks were put away safely.

And it was a nightmare, from start to finish. First, she said that if I had been dropped on her doorstep she would have sent me straight to an orphanage. Then Uncle Vernon made me pretend that they use the cane at St. Brutus to please Aunt Marge, who assumed straight away that I probably got beaten all the time. The next couple of days Aunt Marge made sure I stayed close so she could compare me to Dudley and to boom out suggestions for my improvement.

On the third day of her visit, she crossed a line. She told Uncle Vernon that it was not his fault that I turned out o be an unsatisfactory person. That if there was something rotten on the inside, there was nothing anyone can do. I had to fight tears when she said that, it reminded me of all the bullying that I had received in my first and the start of second year at Hogwarts. She continued by comparing me to her breeding dogs. She said that if there was something wrong with the bitch, there’ll be something wrong with the pup. I got so upset when she said that. I could feel my magic flare through me and Aunt Marge her wineglass exploded in her hands. It didn’t seem to bother her at all, she thought she had just squeezed it too hard. I fled the room after that, afraid I would get another warning from the Ministry about using magic outside of school.

The warning never came, but the insults from Aunt Marge continued. And then yesterday, just after dinner when Aunt Marge was hammered from the wine she turned on me again. Told me I had a mean, runty look, just like some dogs. And then she told us that she had Colonel Fubster drown one of her dogs last year because it was weak. I looked down at my hands when she continued, small tears falling from my eyes. She went on, explaining it all comes down o blood and that Aunt Petunia’s sister was a bad egg. That she was stupid to run off with a wastrel and that I was the result of that. She then asked what you did for a living, dad and Uncle Vernon said you were unemployed. And then Aunt Marge just went on, saying you were a no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger and I just snapped. I pushed my chair back, stood up and screamed at her that you were not. She laughed at me, joked about the tears I was shedding and then she suggested that you died because you were driving drunk I couldn’t take it and yelled that you didn’t die in a car crash. This made Aunt Marge angry, she, of course, doesn’t know the truth and still believes you dying in a car crash is the trued. She called me a nasty little liar, an insolent, ungrateful little something. She couldn’t finish her sentence, her body was swelling, her face expanded, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech. Then the buttons from her tweed jacket burst. She just kept swelling. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop it. I was so angry. I’ve never been that angry before, it scared me a little.

I don’t know what happened to Aunt Marge after that, I ran out of the room towards the cupboard under the stairs. The door burst open before I reached it. I think I did that too with my magic. I took my trunk out of the cupboard and then raced upstairs to grab the pillowcase with my books, letters and birthday cards. I sprinted back down and placed the pillowcase in my trunk. At that moment Uncle Vernon came into the hallway and ordered me to come back and put her right. I don’t know why, but I wanted to hurt Uncle Vernon at that moment. I grabbed my wand and pointed it at him. For a couple of seconds, I wanted to jinx him, to hurt him and punish him like he used to punish me. And then I thought of Draco and how disappointed he would be if I wouldn’t show up at school because I was in jail. And I thought of you, knowing you wouldn’t want me to hurt anyone. So I just opened the door behind me and left without saying a word.

It took me a while to calm down. Dragging along my heavy trunk helped with that. When I reached Magnolia Crescent I collapsed onto a low wall. It didn’t take long before I started to panic then. I was sure I would get expelled from Hogwarts because I did magic and even harmed a Muggle doing so. I was afraid I was going to get arrested, or outlawed from the wizarding world. And that made me think of Draco, and how I would have to leave him if that was true. I couldn’t force Draco to leave the wizarding world, he knows nothing about Muggles and their ways. I started to cry again, wishing I could be with Draco at that moment. I needed him more than ever.

After another while, I decided that since I would already get expelled I would just use some more magic to bewitch the trunk to make it feather-light. That way I could tie it to my broomstick, cover myself with the invisibility cloak and then fly to London to get my money from Gringotts and start my life as an outcast. I opened my trunk to look for the cloak when I felt like someone was watching me. I looked at the black alleyway behind me, even used a Lumos to see it better. And that is when I saw it, a hulking outline of something very big, with wide, gleaming eyes. It scared me to death. I stepped backwards, I hit my trunk and tripped. My wand slipped out of my hand and then there was this massive bang sound and I was surrounded by blinding lights.

I yelled and rolled back onto the pavement, just before a purple triple-decker bus stopped beside me. The name ‘The Knight Bus’ was spelt in gold lettering over the windshield. A conductor leapt out of the bus and introduced himself as Stan Shunpike. He spoke loudly into the thin air until he noticed that I was sitting on the ground. I got back up, looked for the massive black dog I had seen only moments before, but it was gone.

It turns out the Knight Bus can take stranded wizards and witches anywhere they need. I didn’t want to put too much attention on me so I pretended my name was Greg Goyle. I’m sure Greg won’t mind, I’m sure he will find this story funny once Draco tells him when he goes back to school. It would take me 14 Sickles to get to Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire, so I looked for my last coins and paid Stan. He helped me get my trunk into the bus and off we were. Stan wanted to know why I wanted to go to the Malfoy’s and I told him that I knew Draco Malfoy from Hogwarts and that I was going to stay with them for a while because my mother wasn’t feeling well. Luckily they believed my story and didn’t ask any other questions.

The Knight Bus doesn’t have normal seats, instead, it’s filled with half a dozen brass bedsteads. Once I set down on mine the bus took off with another loud bang. It threw me back flat on my bed because of the speed of the bus. I felt really nervous on the bus. The driver, Ernie wasn’t a very good one. We kept mounting the pavement, only the bus didn’t hit anything. Everything jumped out of the way of the bus as it approached and back into position once it had passed.

I couldn’t sleep, so I took the Daily Prophet that Stan offered me. On the front page was a large photo of Sirius Black, an escaped prisoner. I had also seen him on the Muggle news. It turns out he murdered thirteen people with a single curse twelve years ago. He looked just like a vampire in the picture. Stan saw me looking and told me that Black had been a big supporter of Voldemort. And once Voldemort was gone and he was cornered In the middle of a street he blasted half the street apart, killing one wizard and a dozen Muggles. And after that, he just stood there and laughed, like it was one big joke. It seems that this Black is off his head. And he’s the first one ever to break out of Azkaban.

After all the other wizards and witches had left the bus we came to a stop on a small country road. Stan said we were at Malfoy Manor. When I got out I could see a large hedge stretching in both directions. In front of us was a gravel driveway, and the large hedge curved with it and continued alongside the driveway. I took my trunk and started my way up this driveway until I reached a large iron gate. The gate contorted into a face and asked me if I knew what time it was. I told it, that I was sorry for bothering him that late, but that I really needed to speak to Draco Malfoy. The gate informed me that the young master Draco had already gone to bed and that I would have to come back after sunrise. I tried to convince the gate that I had nowhere to go, but it wouldn’t let me pass. After a while, the face disappeared and I was stranded in front of the gate. I set down on my trunk and tried to think of a way to let Draco know that I was at his house. No good ideas came to mind and after a while, I felt stupid for even thinking I could just rock up at Malfoy Manor and that everything would be okay. Draco’s father hates me after all and me showing up, as a criminal, won’t help matters much for Draco.

I decided to turn around, walk back to the road and call for the Knight Bus again and go to London. I could wait till morning and then get my money and disappear. I would write to Draco and tell him what happened and maybe meet up with him somewhere to say goodbye.

Just as I started walking someone stepped through the gates. I looked around and saw Draco’s mother Narcissa standing with her arms folded around her. She was wearing a long black jacket and a purple scarf. She asked me if I was leafing already and pointed out that Draco would be very disappointed when he would hear I didn’t even stay to say hello in the morning. I couldn’t help myself, I started crying again at that point. All the tension and fear leaping out of me at once. Draco’s mother was very kind, she hugged me and told me it was all going to be okay. She guided me through the gates, it was very weird, they didn’t open at all, just turned into some black smoke and were back being a solid gate once we passed it. The rest of the driveway was shielded by the large hedge all the way up to the house. It was dark, so I couldn’t see it properly, but I knew it was larger than any house I’ve ever seen before. I hope I get to see it a bit better later today, but for now, I’m stuck in Draco’s wing to make sure that his father doesn’t see me.

Narcissa brought me to a room on the first floor that held a bed and some other small furniture. She order a house elf to get me something to drink and eat and then made sure I told her what had happened. She told me I could sleep here for now, but that it wasn’t wise to keep me at the manor since Lucius still didn’t approve of me and Draco’s relationship. She told me Draco was only two doors away, asleep in his own bed. I can’t believe how kind Narcissa is, she insisted I call her that, that miss Malfoy makes her sound old. And I like it when she smiles at me, it reminds me of Draco’s smiles.

Once Narcissa had left me alone to sleep I crept out of the room to find Draco’s bedroom. It wasn’t hard at all and I was stunned by how big it was. Draco has a king-sized bed. It’s fairly simple, just a bed base with a mattress on top of it. Now that I’ve seen it in the light of day it really looks amazing. It has two simple black boxes next to it as bedside tables and a large desk stands on the other side of the room. One of his walls is filled with Quidditch posters and the picture of us together that Dean made for him is really stuck underneath Draco’s pillow. And Draco has a walk-in closet filled with all his clothes. Oh, and he has a massive en suite bathroom with a massive bath and a cabinet filled with all his crazy hair products.

Of course, Draco was really surprised to see me sneak into his room yesterday, but he didn’t hesitate for one moment, he just lifted his blanket and let me crawl into bed with him. He asked me if he was dreaming. I told him I was really here. Then he asked me why I was at his house and I told him that I had run away and that I was afraid that I won’t be going back to Hogwarts because I did magic. Draco said it would be okay, that the Ministry would understand that it was an accident and that I shouldn’t worry. He kissed me then and that made my worries ebb away. I fell asleep in his arm and woke up with him staring at me. It was really nice.

Narcissa came to look for us in the early morning and wasn’t even upset when she found me in her son’s bed. She told us to stay in Draco’s wing until Lucius would have left for the day. She told us the elves would bring us breakfast and now we’re just waiting for it to arrive. Draco keeps asking me when I’m going to put my book down and pay him some attention. I told him I had to tell you all about what happened and he stopped complaining after that. He’s reading a book right now, his hand entwined with mine on the bed. I’m really happy I’m here now and somehow I’m not that worried anymore about what is going to happen next.

I will let you both know as soon as I do what is going to happen now. If I get expelled or not and if I can stay here for the rest of the summer. I really hope I can.

Love you,

Harry James Potter

[hawthornewhisperer]

Bellarke + parent-trapped (canonverse and maybe angst but a sweet ending?? if it’s not too late)

This is not canonverse and there’s no angst, but I hope you will accept this toothrotting fluff anyway.  Based loosely on a tumblr post I’m too lazy to find about warring teachers.

Clarke leaned her shoulder against the side of the bleachers and fought the urge to check the clock.  She knew what it would say— still just barely after 10pm, meaning she was stuck in the gym for at least another hour.  She had volunteered to chaperone prom mostly because she was a pushover when her students begged her to, but also because she figured there should be at least one openly queer adult there to intervene in case any of the parent chaperones got weird and judgy about a kid’s choices.  But so far, it was just terrible dancing and way more teenage hormones than anyone should have to deal with on their free time.

At least half the girls on the dance floor had kicked off their shoes, and if Clarke wasn’t quite so concerned about catching athlete’s foot she’d probably join them, because her calves were killing her.  Across the room Bellamy was mirroring her posture, leaning against a pillar with his stupidly big arms crossed across his stupidly big chest.

She really should be more mature about her dislike of him, but something about Mr. Blake reduced her to acting like one of their students.  Things could have gone very differently between them, but he had gone and picked a fight with her during their first all-faculty inservice and Clarke had a hard time backing down from anything, least of all a well-earned grudge.  He appeared to be made of the same stuff, and by now their animosity was legendary.

What had started as low-simmering hatred, surfacing as barbed comments during faculty meetings and sotto voce asides on the hallway, had recently boiled over into all out war.  A weird quirk of scheduling meant Clarke’s third period art class was virtually the same roster as Bellamy’s fourth period world history.  She overheard a couple of students whispering Mr. Blake told Mr. Miller that Ms. Griffin is annoying, and decided that if he was going to be so unprofessional as to say that shit in front of students, she would escalate things.

And that was how twenty-five teenagers had made their own Roman helmets and wore them to their next class under the strict condition they would refuse to acknowledge that they were wearing anything unusual.  Two days later her students spent the entire class period talking in pig-latin, which was both annoying and secretly a little hilarious because she knew he had probably wanted to get them to speak actual latin but figured that was too difficult to pull off in one day.

For the past month, their classes had been in an all out prank war.  Nothing was off limits— Clarke’s class turned his entire room into a life size chessboard (using washable paint, she wasn’t a monster); Bellamy’s refused to draw anything that wasn’t in Egyptian Middle Kingdom style even though they were doing an exercise on goddamn perspective.  Clarke got them to pair up and switch names for an entire class period; Bellamy walked into her class and handed back his goddamn tests like he owned the place.

It was, quite frankly, entirely out of hand.  The students loved it, of course, and the whole school seemed to be waiting to see what each of them would come up with next.  Clarke kept waiting for Principal Kane to step in, and even though he was technically her step-dad, she was a little worried he’d side with Bellamy anyway, since they seemed to have an easy, almost-father-son vibe.

Clarke shifted her weight and lost the battle with her willpower, checking the clock for the hundredth time in an hour.  Ten-fifteen; you can make it another forty-five minutes.  She turned back to the dance floor and noticed Madi Black making her way over, a mischievous look on her face.  Across the room Bellamy was talking to Jordan Green, brow furrowed.  “Having fun, Madi?” Clarke asked, dragging her gaze away from Bellamy’s obnoxiously handsome face.

“Loads,” Madi said.  “But remember when you said you owed me? That day when I helped you carry all your things in from your car?”

Clarke stood up straighter, because she did remember saying that, but it was the sort of off-hand comment you make as a thank you, not an actual contract written in blood.  “I do,” she said carefully.

“Well, I’m here to cash in,” Madi said, her grin almost dangerous.  “I have a favor to ask.”

“Which is?”

“Dance with Mr. Blake.”

“Wh— what?” Clarke spluttered.  On the other side of the gym, Bellamy seemed to be having the same disagreement with Jordan.  He was shaking his head, but Jordan looked determined.  “I don’t think that’s—”

“It’s just a dance, Ms. Griffin,” Madi wheedled.  “For me?  Come on, you promised.”

Clarke glared at her because she’d done nothing of the sort, but she knew she’d lost.  She was, as previously established, a complete pushover for her students.  She nervously straightened her bracelet as she walked towards Bellamy, and noticed he seemed to be fidgeting with his tie.  Students parted before them and they met awkwardly in the middle.  Bellamy held out his hand and she took it, a fleeting smile on both their faces.  As if on cue, the DJ switched from the pulsing beat of hip hop to something much slower.

“It seems we have an audience,” Bellamy said, clearing his throat.  He didn’t seem able to meet her gaze, which was fine with Clarke because she was having trouble hiding the blush crawling up her neck.  She really should have found a dress with a high collar or something, because this was...not ideal.

The entire junior and senior classes had stopped dancing to watch them, chaperones included.  “It seems we do,” she murmured.  She kept her gaze fixed just over his shoulder.  “How’d they get you?”

“Jordan handed in an extra credit project and said he’d rather have me do one activity of his choice at prom, within reason, instead of the points.  I thought he was going to make me do a Fortnite dance, quite frankly, and I wish I hadn’t spent so much damn time trying to learn one.  You?”

“Madi helped me carry my stuff in one day and I said I owed her.  Which in retrospect is feeling sort of like a set up.”

Bellamy huffed out a laugh.  He flexed his hand on her lower back and Clarke steadfastly ignored the pleasant shiver that ran up her spine.  “I think it’s safe to say this was planned.  Possibly for months.”

“It’s tough to say who’s more to blame for teaching them that; my strategic brilliance or your knack for subterfuge,” Clarke said, biting back an inexplicable grin.

Bellamy laughed again and her stomach did a little flip flop.  “I think we can both take credit for this.  Or maybe blame.  How long did it take you to make those life size chess pieces, by the way?”

“Way too long,” she admitted.  “Did you really spend an entire class period teaching them pig latin?”

“Two, actually.  The first was my attempt to teach them rudimentary latin, which went about as well as can be expected.”

She couldn’t stop the smile on her face now, and there were excited gasps from the crowd.  Even Kane was beaming.  “Truce?” she offered.

“That depends.  Did you or did you not tell them which car was mine so they could toilet paper it?”

Clarke winced, but they were both laughing now.  “I plead the fifth.  And it wasn’t toilet paper, it was washable paint.”

“I suppose this is where I admit there might be some toilet paper on your car, then,” he said, and oh no that smile no no no I’m screwed, she thought.  An entire year of fighting a stupid crush, destroyed in under three minutes.

“Okay, fair enough.  If—”  she broke off, keenly aware that they were literally dancing in a spotlight.

“If?” he prompted.

Oh what the hell.  “If you buy me pancakes after the dance is over.”

“Only if you pay for the car wash.”  The song ended.  Their students burst into a wild round of applause and wolf-whistles, and Clarke decided to throw caution to the wind.

The resulting noise when she kissed his cheek almost blew the roof off the gym.

[uas-fics]

Chapter 2 of The One That Almost Got Away--But Came Back

Chapter 1 -

~~~~

Mr. Garrison looked down at his clipboard then began calling out names. After each name came a ‘here’ before the teacher assigned every student a partner. Everyone chatted between themselves as the fourth graders prepared for a Box Top reward field trip to Stark’s Pond.

When it came to numbers, Tweek had been one of the higher contributors to their class Box Top total. Plenty of the boxes and mixes at the shop had Box Tops on them, and his parents agreed to let him cut the tops out if he also broke down the boxes for recycling.

Finally, Mr. Garrison clapped his hands and announced everyone had to hold their partner’s hand on the walk there.

“You’re responsible for your buddy. Don’t mess it up,” Mr. Garrison reminded.

Token bumped Tweek with his elbow then held out his hand. As they walked down the sidewalk, Token chatted with Craig and Clyde in front of him. Tweek nodded and added his two cents once or twice, but remained quiet otherwise. Waiting at the crosswalk, Tweek looked at Token while he chatted.

He’d never noticed before how nice Token’s profile was. No wonder all the girls fawned over him. He was rich, had nice features, good hair, shiny teeth, and his hand was so soft and—

Tweek nearly stumbled but caught himself before anyone took much notice.

Token was holding his hand, his sweaty, dirty hand.

When was the last time Tweek washed it? Before or after recess? Could Token feel all the callouses he had from sweeping and mopping the shop? Of course, he had to! Token’s hand was so soft!

“Tweek?” Craig said. “Tweek?” He repeated loud enough to jerk Tweek’s attention from Token and his hand to the pair in front of them.

Huh?” Tweek asked, a twitch coming over him.

“Dude, are you ok? You look really red,” Craig told him.

“I’m, I’m...” Tweek looked once at Token, who wore a concerned expression. “I’m not feeling well.” With that, he let go of Token’s hand, turned towards the road and vomited.

~~~~~~

The lights in the nurse’s office buzzed as Tweek laid on the hard cot. His embarrassment made him pull the thin blanket over his head and wish he was dead.

The moment Clyde shouted, “Mr. Garrison! Tweek puked!”, all eyes turned towards Tweek, on his hands and knees, a small pool of stomach acid and ground up carrot sticks in front of him. The attention made him throw up the rest of his lunch.

Now the whole class thought he was gross.

Not to mention his parents would give him a lecture for getting sick and making one of them leave the shop.

The door open, and Tweek snapped his eyes shut.

“Just take a seat, sweetie. I’ll be back in just a second.” The nurse said. Someone walked and took the seat across the room and the door closed.

Tweak heard sniffing and dared to peek open his eyes.

Karen McCormick had a large scrape along her forearm and a bruise on her cheek. She held an ice pack to her face. Tears ran down her face. She didn't look happy, but this wasn't how she normally looked.

Kenny probably wouldn’t be happy if Tweek told him that Karen looked fine enough. Clearly, Kenny cared about his sister a lot. He deserved to know how she really was.

“Karen?” Tweek whispered.

She jumped and looked at him. “Oh, you’re one of Kenny’s friends.” She chewed her lip. “Kyle?”

“I’m Tweek,” Tweek corrected. “What happened?” He nodded at the ice pack.

Karen sniffled. “I got hit with a tether ball and fell on the blacktop.”

“Wow, that must have hurt. I’m sorry, but the nurse will have you fixed up in a jiffy.”

“I know. What about you? Why are you here?”

Tweak didn't particularly want to explain why he vomited or that the whole class staring made him do it twice, so instead, he explained he didn't feel well.

“A bell ache.” Tweek lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

“I hope you feel better.” Karen grinned crookedly, showing all her front teeth, including the two missing ones.

“You and Kenny have the same smile, ” Tweek replied in awe. He blushed then stammered, “sh-shit! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to—”

Karen shook her head. She lowered her icepack, revealing a black eye. With her free hand, she wiped her eyes on her wrist.

“Mommy said that too.” Karen put the icepack on her cheek.

“You must miss him a lot, don't you?”

“Yeah, but it's ok. Daddy says Kenny's up in Heaven, and I'll get to see him again when I'm an old granny,” She reassured. “Until then, he would want me to work hard and be happy! That's what Mommy said, too.”

“Your mom is right. He does--would. He would if he were still around, I mean.” Tweek caught himself from spilling his secret.

Karen smiled wryly. “Do you think God would let Kenny come visit tomorrow? Mom is making his favorite type of cake for his birthday. It would make her really happy if he came to eat with us.”

Tweak blinked. Kenny's birthday was tomorrow? He hadn’t known. Kenny didn’t mention it.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure God would be cool with that,” Tweek replied. “But I think angels are supposed to stay invisible on Earth, so you might not see him when he joins you.”

Karen’s eyes widen. They weren’t the same shade of blue as Kenny’s, but a warm brown. However, much like her smile, she shared the look in them with her brother. They held the same wonder that Kenny’s did. No doubt they were siblings.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the nurse came in then. Her expression was tired. After quickly doctoring Karen's arm, she shooed her off back to class with a new ice pack.

As she dug through a tub of clothes in the corner, she said to Tweek, “Tweek, dear, your mother is nearly here, you can go sit in the office with your bag.”

Tweak did as he was told.

In the office, he found Kyle, Jason White, and Jimmy Valmer sitting in front of Principal Victoria.

Each of them was dirty and soaking wet. Jason and Kyle looked annoyed and cold. Jason’s nose bleed and Kyle had a black eye to rival Karen's blooming over his right eye. Jimmy looked like the cat that ate the canary, despite his busted lip. One of his crunches had a slight bend to it and the other was caked with mud.

“I can’t believe you three jumped in Stark’s Pond on a dare, then starting a fight! I expect better from you three.” Principal Victoria sounded exasperated.

Jason wrang out his shirt over the trash as Kyle dropped his wet hat to his lap with a plop. Jimmy just beamed.

“We didn't jump in! Jimmy pushed us off the dock on a dare then jumped in himself,” Jason corrected with a glare.

“Mr. Garrison never sa- never sai- s-s-s—didn’t tell us we couldn’t jump in the pond,” Jimmy remark coyly, as though he just found the perfect loophole.

“You all could have frozen,” Principal Victoria chided.

“It’s March,” Jimmy told her. “You can’t freeze in M-March.”

“Maybe not in your old school, but you can here,” she stated. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Principal Victoria ordered all three of them into her office to discuss the apparent fight.

As they ushered in, Jimmy caught sight of Tweek. He gave a friendly wave, that Tweek slowly returned.

“Feel better,” Jimmy mouthed to him.

Jimmy was so cool, Tweek thought. He was funny and smart, even if his lazy eye sometimes made Tweek feel like he was watching him when he wasn’t. The same wave of nausea that hit him when he was admiring Token came over him.as

Luckily this time, he was able to settle his stomach as he waited, head down, for his mom to come to take him home.

~~~~~

There was a funeral on Wednesday, so Tweek found Kenny just at the edge of his range, floating high up, trying to get a good view.

For whatever reason, Kenny could only go about ten feet in any direction from his grave before hitting a wall. The first time Kenny explained this in full, he demonstrated by pretending to be a mime stuck in a box. He even ‘picked’ an imaginary flower, smelled it, then offered it to Tweek.

As Tweek pretended to sniff the flower, Kenny impishly asked, “did you know flowers are a plant's junk?” causing Tweak to toss the flower to the ground with a blush.

Tweek watched Kenny for a moment from the tree. The funeral goers were slowly and tearfully clearing out back to their cars. It would be safe to venture over without anyone thinking too much of it.

Finally, Tweek cleared his throat.

Kenny twisted around.

“Dude, what are you doing here? You have work, right?” He asked, floating back to the ground.

Tweek beamed. “I barfed at school yesterday, and Dad won't make me work if I got sick the day before.”

He spun his backpack around to the front with an excited grin.

“Besides, I saw Karen in the nurse's office yesterday.”

Kenny came even closer, nearly invading his personal space. He bounced on his toes.

“How is she? Does she look ok?”

“She got hit with a tether ball and fell, but I think she is doing good otherwise. She misses you, and says your parents miss you, too, but she looked happy,” Tweek told him. He smiled sheepishly as he unzipped his bag. "She also told me today was your birthday."

Kenny blinked a few times then look to his feet with his brows furrowed. Muttering silently, he counted on his finger before his head shot up,

"Holy shit! Today's my birthday!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah! And I brought you a gift." Tweek's hands shook as he pulled out the brown paper Tweak Bro's bag with Kenny's gift.

Kenny's expression fell. He took a few steps back to sit on top of his grave.

"Tweek, I appreciate the thought, but I am not really..." he gestured down, "material enough for gifts anymore."

"This isn't material." Tweek set his bag aside then dropped down to his knees next to Kenny's grave. He patted the spot next to him.

With his eyebrows raised in curiosity, Kenny floated down, sitting cross-legged. If he had been alive, Tweek would have felt his body heat. Now he just felt cold.

"What'd ya get me?" Kenny asked.

Tweek unfolded the top of the bag. With an air of pride, he took out a thick magazine with a grey scale picture of a person with half their face covered by a purple crystal on the front.

"'The Free Artist'?" Kenny read the flowing script title. "Um, thanks. Fine art is really...cool."

"No, I mean, yeah, sometimes it is, but that's not what this is about." Tweek started to flip through the pages. "My dad got a subscription to this magazine so we could have it sitting around at Tweak Bros to make the place seem refined."

"Ok?" Kenny turned his head to the side.

"We keep this one issues at home because of this." Tweek turned the magazine towards Kenny.

Across the center page was a black and white photo of a woman, her leg bent forward, spine arched, and head thrown back. Her naked breasts pointed up as she held the only splash of color in the photo, a bright red apple, aloft.

"Wooow!" Kenny reached for the magazine only for his hands to phase through.

"I thought I could turn the pages while you looked. Almost the whole issue is dedicated to this photographer. It's full of pictures of naked people in different poses. I thought, knowing what I know about you, that you’d like it?"

He chewed his lip. A fancy-schmancy art magazine wasn’t the same as a naughty one, but Tweek couldn’t get his hands on any of those. This was the best he had, even if the photos were not meant to be sexual or erotic. 'A grand showing of the beauty of the human form' is what the photographer claimed in the short article, but Kenny didn't seem to care what the point of the art was.

“This is so cool, dude!” Kenny beamed. “You brought a whole magazine of elegant nudes, just for me? Finally, I can truly appreciate the human body like the true connoisseur I am, artfully and with highbrow intelligence.”

Chuckling that Kenny pronounced it ‘conn-o-sire’, Tweek flipped to the next page. This one had a man on his knees, bending forward so his shoulders nearly touched the floor. The color in this picture was a vase of flowers set by his hips. Tweek thought he looked nice, for a grown-up, and suddenly his stomach twisted.

He quickly turned the page. The new two pages were a spread of different gender models.

Tweek hoped Kenny hadn't noticed. but by the look he gave him, Tweek knew he had.

"Everything alright?" Kenny asked.

With a sigh, Tweek shut the magazine and slumped in in himself.

"Can you keep a secret? One you can't ever tell anyone, not even other ghosts." Tweek didn't look up at him.

"There is no one around for me to tell, Tweek," Kenny pointed out. When Tweek didn't respond, he went on, "Ok, ok, I promise. I won't tell a soul your secret." A pause then,"In fact, I will tell you one of my secrets in exchange. How's about that?"

Tweek chewed the inside of his cheek before nodding.

"Alright, deal," Tweek replied. He took a breath, held it, then let it out slowly. "My secret is I...I, um...I don't like girls."

Kenny blinked once. "Don't like girls? I always thought the girls and you got along well enou..Ooooooh." Kenny whistled a breath through the gap in his teeth. "You're gay, Tweek?"

Tweek flinched. He'd never described himself as that once, even if it was true.  It was a strange unspoken vow he'd made with himself. If he never said it out loud then he wasn't. There was still a chance he was straight.

But there it was, hanging in the air between the boys.

"Yeah, I guess," Tweek finally whispered. "Please don't make fun of me. I can’t help it."

"Why the hell would I make fun of you? Being gay is fine by me." Kenny crossed his arms, looking up at the clouds. "It doesn't matter if you like dick or pussy...or both."

His mouth twitched and his face contorted for a second into an expression that Tweek couldn't read.

Even if Tweek could have understand it, he wouldn't have dwelled. A weight he hadn't realized was on his shoulders lifted and he felt so much better. His stomach settled and some of his background anxiety quieted.

"You don't think it's weird?" Tweek wanted to confirm.

"Nah, it ain't weird." Kenny leaned back against his headstone. "But now I want to know if your crushing on anyone in our class. If I was to date a guy, I'd date Token. Not bad looking and rich as hell. A perfect boyfriend." Kenny jokingly snapped his fingers for emphasis, making Tweek snicker.

"Yes, definitely Token!" Tweek agreed.

They spent the rest of their time just chatting like normal, but now Tweek felt more comfortable than ever.

The conversation started to wind down after Tweek explained his list of boys he had something of a crush on, or, at least, wouldn’t be against asking if he knew they’d like him back.

Currently, Jimmy held top spot, because if they dated, no one would dare make fun of them. Jimmy was much too popular and well-liked to be made fun of by anyone in the class. Everyone else would turn on that person in an instant. Then Token, for much the same reason, along with how much Tweek liked his profile. Then at a distant third, Craig since Tweek like how much he spoke his mind.

"You know," Tweek flipped the magazine page for Kenny to admire the next picture, this one a woman curled up on herself and staring at the camera with determination as a fat, green, frog sat idly on her knee, "you never told me your secret."

"It's not nearly as good as yours," Kenny told him as he read the article that accompanied the photo.

"I still want to know. It's only fair."

Kenny opened his mouth to speak when a new voice cut him off.

"See? I told you! That chubby fourth-y is here! I saw him when I was at the funeral."

Tweek felt his heart fall dead out of his chest and land in his lap as three sixth graders came strutting up. Tweek didn't know them well enough to pull their names out from his memory, but he did know they were bullies who loved to pick on younger kids.

"Whatcha doing here, fourth-y? Reading like a nerd?" The biggest one sneered at the magazine.

The skinniest one raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to get a better look at the open pages.

"Hey! She's naked!" He pointed. "It’s a pornmag! Fourth-y’s got a pornmag!"

Tweek scooped up the magazine and held it to his chest, eyes wide. Kenny glared at the sixth graders and told them to fuck off, even though they couldn’t hear him.

"It's not porn. It's tasteful." Tweek dug his nails into the flesh of his other wrist, trying not to shake.

"It has naked ladies. It's porn." The middle one declared, reaching for it with grabby hands. "Let us have it. Your fourth-y brain isn’t mature enough to handle boobs."

"N-no! Urk! It's not yours. Leave me alone!" Tweek felt his flight or fight response start to pour adrenaline into his system. He probably couldn't fight three sixth graders, but he was sure he could outrun them.

Before he could make his grand escape, the biggest one dove forward for the magazine.

Tweek stumbled back as the issue was ripped from him. His heel hit the base of a nearby gravestone then he toppled over it. Mud and dirty snow covered his back and soaked straight through his shirt.

When his breath returned and he could finally push himself up, he saw the sixth graders gawking over the magazine. The cover was torn and barely held together by an inch of glossy, crumpled paper.

Then he tilted his head up and saw Kenny behind them.

Kenny’s teeth ground together. His hands clenched into fists. His nostrils flared. A low growl came from his throat. Tweek had never seen Kenny this upset, even in life. If he was tangible, Tweek thought Kenny would rip the sixth graders’ hearts out.

Something that Tweek couldn’t understand tore from Kenny’s throat as he reached forward with his arms out in front of him, as if he was going to push the middle sixth grader. The moment his hands phased through his chest, the sixth grader bolted up straight. His eyes were wide with terror.

His breath came out in a thick, shaking cloud, different from everyone else's, thicker and flecked with ice particles.

“Dude?” The biggest one asked, prodding his friend in the side.

His friend didn’t move, only whimpered, “I...I...I...”

Before the sixth graders could do anything more, a familiar voice boomed towards them.

“Hey! What are you kids doing over there?” Father Maxie shouted.

“Fuck! Run!” The skinny sixth-grader grabbed the middle one’s arm. The middle sixth-grader moved like a statue that had just come to life, stiffly and clumsily. After shoving the magazine into his jacket, the biggest one pushed the middle. All at once, the middle unfroze.

He sucked in a gasp as Father Maxie yelled again. It took a second for him to register where he was, but when he did, he darted faster than the rest out of the graveyard.

Tweek stared at Kenny with his mouth agape. Kenny looked down at his hands, brows furrowed and lips pressed together. He looked up at Tweek, confusion written across his face.

“I...guess that worked?” Kenny laughed nervously, shoving his hands in his parka pockets.

“What in the Great Heavens above is going on up here?” Father Maxie ran up with his lips set in a frown.

Tweek tried to sit up, only to bite back a yelp of pain. He pressed a hand to his lower back, whimpering.

Father Maxie instantly stooped down to look him over. He peeled the wet shirt away from Tweek’s chilled skin to reveal the starting of a bruise.

“Oh, dear!” Father Maxie shook his head. “Come along. Let’s get some ice on that and call your parents.”

As Tweek left, he looked over at Kenny, who waved at him with a faint smile on his transparent lips, and Tweek’s stomach did a now familiar twist.

~~~~~

Tweek held  a CapriSuns, both cold and fruit punch-flavored, in each of his hands. One he had tilted towards his face to sip and the other he carefully pressed against his back.

One of the nuns that Tweek recognized from Sunday school fretted over him, asking him over and over if he was really ok, if he knew who those boys that hurt him were, and if there was anything she could do to make him feel better.

Tweek repeatedly answered yes, he was ok and, no, he did not know those boys’ names, just that they were sixth graders.  For her last question, the first time she asked, he told her he would like another juice to drink, the second time he timidly asked, “Do you know if I’m going to be in--urk--trouble?”

The nun smiled softly and stroked his head. “No, I do not believe you will.”

Feeling a sense of mild relief, Tweek started to ask for another juice, when Father Maxie came into the sanctuary. With a nod to the nun, he dismissed her then took a seat next to Tweek on the pew.

He put a hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Hello, my child, are you feeling better now?”

“I think so,” Tweek replied honestly.

“Good, good,” Father Maxie said. He paused a moment and look at Tweek in a way that made his anxiety spike. It was the same look Father Maxie wore when he was going to ask the congregation a tough question that would make all the adults turn their gazes away in shame.

“Tweek, I’ve seen you go to the graveyard to sit by yourself quite often lately,” Father Maxie continued. “Is everything alright, my child? Are you doing ok? I am always here if you need to talk. You know that The Lord has many, many great plans for you in your future, don’t you?”

He gave Tweek a look so sympathetic, it boarded on pity. Tweek didn’t like that. He didn’t need a priest of all people giving him pity for being a freak and a weirdo!

Tweek scooted away and fixed his gaze on the stain glass window over the pulpit.

“It’s quiet there, not like the coffee shop. I like things quiet to do my homework and think,” Tweek lied, somehow keeping his tone indifferent with only his usual quiver.

“Ah, I see.”

Tweek didn’t think Father Maxie saw anything, but Father Maxie let the conversation drop anyway and changed to asking Tweek about how school was and what they were teaching nowadays in fourth grade. Tweek replied with the bare minimum amount of words he could until his parents came to pick him up

Father Maxie took his parents aside to talk with them a moment, just out of Tweek’s earshot. Tweek could only assume Father Maxie knew the names of the sixth graders and was telling his parents so they could talk to their parents —- which would lead to Tweek having his head shoved in a urinal until the urinal cake went down his throat.

After thanking the priest and promising they would try to put a little more in the collection plate come Sunday--Tweek knew that was a lie--the Tweaks drove back home.

His mom heated up some leftover spaghetti from the night before and placed it and a big glass of milk in front of Tweek, patting between his shoulder blades. She pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You’re my good boy, Tweek. I love you.” She whispered to him, before giving him a half hug around the shoulders. After that, his parents let him eat in silence. Maybe they were scared if they spoke too loudly, Tweek would vomit again.

As he ate, he thought about what happened with Kenny at the graveyard today. He didn’t know what ghostly powers Kenny used to fight back against the sixth graders, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that Kenny had used them for him. He cared about Tweek so much Kenny risked sixth graders to help him!

Ghost or not, Tweek thought Kenny was the coolest person ever.

Tweek swallowed the last fork full of noodles, then chugged the rest of his milk.  Before he could ask to be excused, his dad leaned across the table and set a large, warm hand over Tweek’s.

“Tweek, son, can we have a word?” He asked as if Tweek had a choice but to stay put.

“Um, yeah, Dad?” Now Tweek started to nervously fidget with his fork.

“Father Maxie told us you’ve been spending a lot of time at the graveyard recently,” his dad started. “Why is that? Are you feeling alright? No one is bullying you at school? Are you happy, son?”

Tweek’s head spun with explanations he could give that would convince his parents to drop the topic, or at least make sure they didn’t stop him from going anymore. He wasn’t hurting anyone, so there was no reason for them to stop him, but still, the tone in his dad’s voice was cautious and strained, though Tweek didn’t know why.

“I’m fine. No one is bullying me. I’m actually really happy.” Tweek replied, but his parents didn’t look convinced. What could Tweek possibly say to pacify them without explaining everything?

Think, Tweek! Think!

Then Tweek had a terrible idea that he just knew would work.

~~~~~~

“You told your parents what?!” Kenny doubled over, holding his stomach. He wiped away a tear that wasn’t there. “Ok, ok, ok, let me get this straight. You told your parents you’re gay, and you wanted to ask me out when I was alive, and now you come to my grave to pretend to talk to me because you regret missing your chance?”

Tweek blushed. “It worked, didn’t it? Ack! I said what I had to. Mom and Dad were worried about me.” While fiddling to fix his shirt buttons, Tweek went on, “Honestly, I’m glad I said it though, even if it was mostly a lie. It’s weird having my parents know I’m gay, but they took it well. I spend the rest of the evening listening to them make plans for a big Pride event at the shop when June rolls around.”

Tweek laughed at the memory, joining in with Kenny. His parents had all but forgotten about their own gay son as they starting trying to think of new Pride-themed items for the menu or how much banners and flags to hang outside the shop would cost.

The most acknowledgment Tweek got the rest of the evening was his dad giving him twenty dollars and saying he hoped Tweek would be confident enough to come out to the rest of the town soon--since that would be great for the business.

Tweek and Kenny finally sputtered out with Kenny shaking his head.

“You know Tweek, I’m flattered.” He gave a cheeky grin. “Flattered to be your first one that got away.” Kicking his legs out, Kenny nodded. “Actually, I think I’m regretful, too. If I knew you were this cool when I was alive, I don’t think I would have minded if you asked me on a date.”

Tweek snorted and rolled his eyes, but on the inside, his heart did a funny little skip. For a moment, he tried to chalk it up to his anxiety acting up, as it sometimes did, but he couldn't lie to himself for long.

In one fell swoop, Kenny had usurped Jimmy’s option at the top of Tweek’s list.  

“Yeah...thank you.” Tweek pretended to flip through his history book. “Oh, um, my parents also said I’ll have to start going back to my therapist, too. This morning, at breakfast, Mom told me she scheduled me an appointment.”

“Oh?” Kenny titled his head. “I’m...sorry? Is a therapist like going to a normal doctor? I hated going to normal doctors.” His face twisted in disgust.

“No, this is a good thing!” Tweek smiled. “I liked my therapist. He was nice and helped a lot, but I guess he helped too much. Since after six sessions, my parents thought I had to be ‘cured’ and made me stop going.” A sigh and he went on, “So it’s good to go back, but that means I won’t be able to come here as often.”

Kenny frowned for a fraction of a second before his cheery disposition returned.

“That’s ok!” he told him. “If this doctor is helping you feel better, I would be a very bad friend to make you skip appointments to hang out with me.”

Tweek buried his reddening face in his book. “Kenny, you’re really cool.”

Kenny blinked at the unexpected compliment then looked away. Was he embarrassed? Hadn’t anyone ever told Kenny he was cool?

Tweek refused to believe that, but lowered his book and repeated himself, “You are really cool. Way cooler than any of those jack asses you hung around with.”

Kenny fingered the drawstrings of his parka then tugged them slightly, closing the hood tighter around his face.

“Thanks, dude,” he replied in a quiet voice, not quite looking at Tweek, but just over his shoulder. Tweek was glad for that. If Kenny had met his eyes, he might have died.

~~~~~~

“You need to make some more friends who want to have you around and can appreciate you for you” is what his therapist told Tweek after the second session.

He suggested that Tweek join a sport or club, but Tweek didn’t feel like he could do that. Sports were a commitment and he had his job and chores to deal with. Clubs were too much pressure to deal with too! They had hierarchies where he would be at the very bottom!

When Tweek mentioned his fears to Kenny, Kenny tapped his lower lip with his finger for a moment, then suggested, “Print out a picture offline of something you really like, and tape it to your binder. Maybe someone else who likes it will try to talk to you.”

Tweek wasn't sure about that but decided to give it a try. He used a text document and made a collage of his favorite superhero, Sailor Moon, printed it, and put it in the plastic covering of his homework binder. While he walked in the halls, he made sure to have the binder facing out so other people could see it.

Unsurprisingly, Kenny’s idea worked.

At first, it was the girls who flocked around him. Some knew who Sailor Moon was, and some just thought she looked cool, but either way, Tweek happily accepted the invites to sit down with them and talk.

He even gathered the courage to ask some of them to come to watch some episodes using Tweak Bro’s wifi after school on days it was too rainy or cold to go see Kenny.

Then, about a week later, while Tweek was searching for one of his pencils in his messy locker, Craig tapped on his shoulder.

“Hey, Tweek.” He waved, then pointed to Tweek’s binder. “Do you like anime?”

Tweek looked down at the moon princess then nodded warily. Was Craig going to pick on him for it? Some sixth graders had teased him for liking a ‘weird, girly, Japanese cartoon’ before, luckily for Tweek, Bebe was there and politely told the sixth graders that Sailor Moon was the best and strongest hero ever, better than Superman even, and they should leave Tweek alone.

Of course, the sixth graders didn’t leave Tweek alone, but he still really appreciated that someone stuck up for him.

Craig hummed. “Just Sailor Moon? Or do you like others? Like Red Racer?”

This felt like a test.

“Um, I think so? I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I think it’s really cool! I like the tiny elephant sidekick,” Tweek replied honestly.

Craig regarded Tweek once more before he asked, “The new movie comes out on Saturday. Me and my friends are going to watch the newest season before we go. We’re starting after school tomorrow and having a sleepover on Friday. You can join us if you want.”

~~~~~

Tweek had never been so excited when he rushed to the graveyard to tell Kenny his news after school.

“You said yes, right?” Kenny bounced in shared excitement.

“Yeah! I mean, I need to ask my parents, but I don’t think they’ll say no.” Tweek chuckled to himself before spin round before falling back into the snow. He winced. His bruise had mostly healed, but the fall still hurt.

“So, I won’t see you until next week?” Kenny asked, poorly hiding the disappointment in his voice.

Tweek pushed himself up on his elbows. “I guess not. I’m sorry. Should I cancel one of the days?”

Shaking his head, Kenny declined, “No, don’t do that. Have fun and...” he flashed a wicked smile, “don’t puke lunch on Token’s expensive shoes or Jimmy’s crutches.”

Tweek wanted to tell Kenny that for the last month or so, he hadn’t felt sick around either Token or Jimmy since Kenny had taken over the top spots of his list.

Of course, he didn’t dare say a word of that.

~~~~

Red Racer was a pretty good anime. Tweek liked the races and the cool mech transformations. The plot was a little confusing since he started three seasons in, but Craig and his friends were happy to explain the parts that confused Tweek as they lounged around the Tucker’s living room.

By Friday, Tweek more or less understood the plot, the character’s motivations, and was excited about the movie.

Clyde picked up a popcorn kernel from the bottom of the now empty bowl and threw it at Token’s head. It ricocheted off his temple and landed square on Craig’s pizza slice. Craig reached over and push Clyde clean off the couch and right onto Tweek.

Tweek gasped and struggled to sit up, but Clyde was like a heavy, limp doll on his chest. Finally, Jimmy grabbed Clyde’s arm and hauled him off.

“S-shit, dude!” Tweek gasped, hand to his chest. “I thought I was going to die!”

“Nice going, Clyde.” Token took the throw pillow from his side and pushed it down on Clyde’s head. “Trying to kill Tweek. Are you scared we’ll kick you out for him?”

“No!” Clyde shoved the pillow away. “I’m way cooler than Tweek.”

Craig snorted. “Uh-huh. Sure. ‘Cooler’. I don’t think you can beat Tweek’s ‘hangs out in a graveyard’ level of cool.”

Tweek flinched back. Craig knew about that?

“Oh yeah! I head the s-s-s-sixth graders talking about that during recess,” Jimmy said around a bite of pizza. “Why do you do that, Tweek?”

“I, um, I, u-uh...” Tweek’s brain spun for a lie.

All of the boys' eyes were on him now. None of them looked malicious, but how did Tweek know they weren’t hiding it? How did he know that they weren’t doing this Red Racer marathon just to get dirt on him?

He swallowed. He couldn’t tell the others everything he told his parents, but he could strip it down a little.

“Do you guys remember Kenny McCormick?”

Craig nodded solemnly. “Yeah. He was a nice guy, even if he hung out with assholes.”

“Well, his grave is in there, and I feel bad that he died when he was so young. Urk! I guess I also regret that I didn’t know him all that well before he got sick. Especially since I replaced him with his own friends. Going there and sitting near by his grave, I feel connected to what could have been, if we were friends, you know?” Tweek chewed his lip.

Would they believe that? Would they call him a weirdo and make him walk home?

Jimmy reached over and set a greasy hand on Tweek’s shoulder with a nod. “I think we all miss him. I’m sure, up in H-Hea-Heaven, Kenny appreciates you coming to visit.”

Even without speaking to each other, the rest of the boys shared Jimmy’s sentiment. Tweek let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Token suddenly pointed at the TV.

“Hey! This is my favorite episode! This is the one with Purple Racer and the Power Stone! Everyone shut up!” He waved his hand at them all, leaning forward with his chin in his palm.

At that, the topic was dropped.

~~~~~~

On Saturday evening, Tweek was on cloud nine as he headed towards the graveyard.

The movie was so good! He had to tell Kenny all about it. Kenny wouldn’t mind spoilers, would he? Even if he did, Kenny had to hear about everything that happened with Craig and his friends.

Token had actually invited Tweek over to play basketball at his house with him and Clyde on Wednesday! Jimmy even wanted to try out some jokes on Tweek before his next show.

Kenny would be so proud that Tweek was making other friends; he was certain he would be!

As he neared, the sound of sobbing came to his ears.

Kenny sat on his headstone, knees pulled up to his chest, as he cried into his hands.

“Kenny?” Tweek raised his hand before dropping it. “What’s wrong?”

Kenny’s head shot up. His lips quivered as he stared at Tweek for an uncomfortably long time.

“What’s the matter?” Tweek tried again. “Are you alright?”

“No! I’m not alright,” Kenny wailed, hiding his face in his hands again. “It’s not fair! God’s being mean to me again!”

“What?”

Kenny slowly lowered himself off the headstone, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm even though he didn’t have any tears. “Tweek, do you remember a month or two ago, when you told me you were gay? I never told you my secret.”

Tweek had completely forgotten about that. Kenny said it wasn’t as good as Tweek’s secret, but whatever it was, it was important enough to make him cry.

“What’s your secret?”

Kenny shuffled side to side a moment before sighing. He gestured to his headstone. “Read it and tell me what’s wrong with it.”

Tweek furrowed his brow as he realized he’d never once read Kenny’s headstone in full. At most, he had only read Kenny’s name when he bonked his head against it. Every other time, Kenny either sat right in front of his stone or let his legs cover it.

Stooping down, Tweek ran his fingers along the carved letters as he read.

“‘Kenneth ‘Kenny’ McCormick, rest well sweet angel in the arms of God, Free of pain and sickness. March twenty-second to J...’” Tweek trailed off. He looked up at Kenny with a frown. “‘June eight.’ Kenny, why does it say you died in June? And the year is from nearly seven years ago!”

“You think you're a weirdo and a freak, Tweek? You’re as average as white bread compared to me.” Kenny laughed, dry and bitterly. “That’s my secret, Tweek: I can’t stay dead. I don’t know why or how to stop it. I’ve never stayed dead, not any of the tens of times I’ve died before.”

A new batch of sobs escaped his throat. “I thought for sure it would stick this time, Tweek. It hurt so much more to die than ever before. It felt different. I wanted it to be different. I didn’t want to come back.”

Tweek scrambled to his feet. “That’s impossible. If you died before, I know I would remember it.”

“No, you wouldn’t. No one does. That’s what makes it so hard.” Kenny sniffled. “I die, I come back, and everyone acts as if I just ran away or was kicked out or whatever. I fucking hate it! I’m just the poor, dirty kid who can’t stay dead. I’m the freak, Tweek. I’m the weirdo. You’re just a kid with a tic. A normal kid.”

“Kenny...” Tweek wasn’t sure what to say.

“I’m going to come back to life soon. I can feel it. I’m going to come back and...and—and you won’t remember all the time we have together,” Kenny cried. “I want you to remember. It’s not fair I’m going to lose you like this! Not when I just...” His sobs overtook anything else he had to say.

Tweek took a step forward when he noticed that Kenny’s feet had disappeared. His legs were already fading away when Tweek stomped his foot to gain Kenny’s attention.

“I won’t forget! I promise I won’t!” Tweek announced. “We’ll hang out at Tweak Bros and go play basketball with Token and sing silly German songs and everything! I swear I won’t forget!”

“I’d like that, but,” Kenny’s stomach disappeared as Kenny forced a smile, “yes, you will. Everyone does.”

“I won’t,” Tweek repeated, his voice shaking with his own sobs. “I can’t forget everything you’ve done to help me. I’ll remember, Kenny. I will.”

Now his shoulders were gone.

Kenny chuckled with a shake of the head. “I really hope you do.”

“I won’t let you really be the one that got away! I won’t!” Tweek exclaimed, his vision blurred, but by the time he took a shaking step forward, the ghost of Kenny McCormick was gone.

~~~~~~

Kenny felt like shit. Normally he felt bad after coming back from the dead, all tired and cold with his limbs aching, but today was worse. Today he felt tired, cold, and achy along with a heavy dread that clung to his heart.

He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to go out and find his friends at the park or even pull the covers off of his living body. He wanted to stay and melt into the torn mattress and stop existing. The only reason he got up was when he heard a small gasp from the door and say Karen staring at him.

For a moment, he’d hoped that maybe she was surprised to see him alive and his curse was broken.

But instead the shock faded quickly from her eyes and she told Kenny it was time for breakfast.

His mom hugged him when he came into the living room. She squeezed him so tight, it hurt to breathe before placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Oh, Kenny, I love you so much. My precious, darlin’ little man.” His mom whispered into his hair. She still smelled like cigarettes and beer and the cheap perfume his dad bought for her on Mother’s Day every year.

Even in his bleak mindset, he had to admit he missed that smell.

“I, uh, I love you, too, Mom,” Kenny replied. It felt so strange to feel the vibration from his voice when he spoke.

“What are you doin’, woman?” His dad asked from the table. “Let the boy go. He ain’t dyin'.”

She reluctantly released him but patted Kenny’s head before standing up.

“Mommy, can I have a hug, too, please?” Karen asked, tugging at her shirt hem.

“Well, of course, you can, sweet pea.” Their mom stooped down to hug her and Kenny made a beeline for the table before he could be pulled into another hug.

His dad turned the page in his newspaper. “Sleep well, Kenny? You seemed sick yesterday. That cough and all.”

Could he have trouble breathing, if he didn’t have breath?

Kenny shrugged. Before he could answer, Kevin walked in. To Kenny’s surprise, he looked presentable, dressed up and cleaned. He even had his hair slicked back.

“The fuck you look so fancy for?” Kenny asked as Kevin slid into a chair.

Kevin looked at him, furrowing his brow, a moment, as if he were trying to figure out just what was wrong with his little brother, before shaking it off.

“It’s Sunday? Church? Did you cough your brains out last night, dingus?” Kevin rolled his eyes.

Karen picked up her faded plush doll and headed towards the table. “Kevin’s trying to get that pretty girl to hold hands with him, remember, Kenny? The one with the blond curls,” Karen held up her doll, nodding at the doll’s faded yellow hair, “who made Kevin blush last weekend?”

“I didn’t blush!” Kevin snapped, face red. “I ain’t dressed up for her either. I just...wanna look nice for church.” He didn’t look at Kenny or Karen as he said that. With a smile, their mom patted Kevin’s back

“Well, even if you ain't, I’m sure that girl will like you anyway,” Their mom told him as she set a plate of flat pancakes in front of him before moving to deliver the rest of the family breakfast.

“And if she don’t, just lay on that Old McCormick Charm,” their dad shut the newspaper. “Works on the ladies every time.” He patted their mom’s hip as she passed, and she giggled, kissing his temple.

Karen picked up her pancake with her fingers and began to pull it apart. “Is that how come I was able to make so many girl friends?”

Kenny smiled to himself, pleased that Tweek hadn’t been pulling his chain when he said Karen was happy. Actually, all his family seemed to be happy. His parents were getting along. Kevin was trying to get himself a girl. Karen had a bunch of friends.

Kenny hoped it would last now that he was back.

After their dad quickly ended the conversation about the Old McCormick Charm, the family ate breakfast, normal as Kenny could remember. He was gone for nearly half a year and no one remembered.

His stomach churned. Kenny pushed away his half-finished plate.

“Can I skip church today?” He asked, faking a cough into his fist. “I still feel a little bit sick.”

Admittedly, he didn’t want to go anywhere near the church. Months in that blasted graveyard, listening to the distant sermons or watching tear filled funerals were Father Maxie said the same words over and over to grieving families had worn him out on going to church for a while.

His mom reached over and touched his forehead. “Ya don’t feel hot, but since you were sick yesterday, I guess that’ll be alright. I’ll wrap up your plate. You can eat the rest later.”

Kenny nodded and pushed himself away from the table. After wishing Kevin good luck in getting his girl, Kenny lumbered back to his bed and flopped down. He curled into a ball and forced himself to sleep.

When he woke up, the house was quiet. Kenny looked around his room. His stuff had been moved around and there were several boxes labeled ‘clothes’ and ‘toys’ stacked in the corner. He knew he should probably get to unpacking those and setting his life back up, but Kenny suddenly felt claustrophobic and trapped in his house, in a room that hadn’t been his in months.

Throwing off the covers, Kenny shoved his shoes on his feet and hurried out the door to let his feet take him wherever they wanted to go.

~~~~~~

After twenty minutes of wandering, Kenny found himself standing outside of Tweak Bro’s. His stomach churned. Should he go in and see if Tweek remembered him? Did he even want to know? Maybe he should put it off until school Monday and go find Stan, Kyle, and Cartman.

Kenny shook himself.

No. If he didn’t do this now, it would eat at him all day.

With a shaking hand, he reached out and gave the door a firm tug.

It was locked.

Of course, Tweak Bro’s wasn’t open on Sundays.

Shaking his head, Kenny sat on the bench out front. A cold wind bit his exposed face and Kenny nearly yelped. It had been so long since he had felt the physical cold like that.

Kenny readjusted his hood. He didn’t want to head home. He didn’t want to talk to his friends.

He didn’t know what he wanted, so he sat and brooded on the bench for half an hour.

Several people passed, each giving him that same look Kevin did, trying to figure out what was wrong with him and why he looked so out of place. Each time he noticed someone staring, Kenny flipped them off and glared.  He didn’t particularly want to be reminded of his status as a freak.

Finally, Kenny forced himself to his feet. His legs were asleep with pins and needles. The sensation was just as annoying as he remembered.

Telling himself to go home, Kenny shoved his hands deep in his parka and began towards his house. As he stopped at the crosswalk, the sound of hurried footsteps came from behind him. He turned around, ready to side step out of the way, just as someone tackled him to his bottom.

“Kenny! Kenny, you’re alive!” Tweek sobbed into Kenny’s shoulder. He squeezed him tighter. “I went to your grave after church and you weren’t there anymore! I thought I might have--errr!--dreamed the whole thing!”

Kenny blinked before turning his head to look at Tweek’s shock of blond hair.

“You remember? You remember me being a ghost?” Kenny whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loudly, this blessed illusion would break into a million pieces.

Tweek pulled back but kept his hands on Kenny’s shoulders. “Yes! I remember! I promised I wouldn’t forget, and I didn’t!” He grinned at him, and Kenny’s heart skipped a beat. A feeling that made his head rush from the experience of it.

Tears blurred Kenny’s vision. He couldn’t believe this. Someone remembered! Someone he really cared about remembered.

Kenny didn’t care how this happened: if this was God making up for the curse or Tweek hitting his head against his headstone did it. It didn’t matter. He’d never felt so elated in his life.

Kenny wrapped his arms around Tweek and hugged him so tightly, he was surprised he didn’t hear the cracking of bones.

Tweek remembered! Tweek, this boy who came and sat with him day after day for months just because Kenny asked him to; this sweet, kind-hearted boy that let Kenny help with his homework and shared the latest gossip and checked on Karen and brought him a present on his birthday; this boy that Kenny had slowly but surely developed quite the crush on, he remembered.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” Kenny swallowed down the lump forming in his throat. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, Tweek.”

“Well, you can not freak out when I, um, say what I have to say.” Tweek gently pushed Kenny away. He took a breath and continued, “Kenny, I have a confession. I promised God if I ever saw you alive again, I’d say this. I hope this won’t make anything weird. I, argh, I like you--like a lot, a lot. More than a friend.”

Kenny blinked. For a moment, he thought he was going to die from happiness after less than a day back.

“I like you, too--like a lot, a lot,” Kenny replied instantly, nearly stumbling over his words in his rush to say them.

Tweek’s face went beet red. He scrambled to his feet, wiping the dirt from his jeans, then held out his hand to Kenny. Kenny let himself be hauled up, but he wasn’t going to let go of Tweek’s hand.

No matter what happened, he wasn’t going to let himself be the one that got away ever again.

~~~

AN: Thank you all for all the support. This pair is has a fun dynamic to play with x3c

[beanfic]

Summertime Sadness - Ch.8

Word count: 2307

Warnings: Language, some ~angst~ and some ~fluff~ :)

Author’s note: I loved writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Song suggestions: Juliet by Cavetown & Northern Lights by Death Cab for Cutie

It has been about a week since you have spoken to Josh. You had a long talk with Mariah the other day and figured stuff out with her but your parents said you aren’t allowed to hang out with her alone until you were ungrounded.

The conversation went easier than you expected, mostly because Mariah actually listened to you for once instead of getting defensive. She apologized for what she did and promised to never let Tyler get in the way of their friendship again. Mariah also gave you some advice about Josh, especially since you haven’t been able to get him off of your mind.

Being grounded in the summer was not fun, and the past week was spent with you helping around the house and doing chores for your family, which Johnny and Bri took advantage of. You never got any free time, and they never gave you a break. Plus, all you heard about was the raise that Johnny had gotten at his job.

A job. This was also the only thing your parents would talk to you about. They brought it up any time they could, they would remind you of how “lazy” you were. You finally ended up applying to an ice cream shop in your neighborhood, and you had the interview today.

“How do I look?” you asked your mom spinning around to show her the outfit. It was a black polo shirt and khakis. You wanted to look professional, and this was the outfit your mom chose. You hated it.

“Professional! Remember to make eye contact, and don’t slouch!”

“I know, Mom.”

“Goodluck, sweetie!” she tried to kiss your forehead but you swerved out of the way. You haven't let your mom or dad touch you since you came home a week ago. You still haven’t forgiven them for grounding you during the summer when you were an adult, even if you did kind of deserve it.

You hopped into your car and headed to the ice cream shop. You turned on your local radio and they were interviewing a local band. The voice caught your attention, so you turned it up.

“Yeah, we have just been rehearsing like crazy getting ready for the state fair later this summer!”

It was Tyler’s voice.

“It will be like my fourth performance with the band so I’m excited!”

That was Josh’s voice.

Your stomach started to twist and turn at the sound of his voice, and you wanted to throw up. You turned off the radio and tried to regain control of your breathing. The last thing you wanted was to be shaken up before your interview.

You found parking in front of the ice cream shop, and you headed in.

“Hi, I’m here for an interview?” you told the young girl who was on the register.

“Oh yeah! Let me go get my manager!” You watched her run to the back and come back out with women who looked about 35. She seemed nice.

“Hi I’m Taylor!” she shook your hand.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!”

She took you to the back room where she asked you questions about yourself, and other questions they usually asked at an interview. You felt pretty good about it all.

“I would love to offer you a job here!” She said at the end.

“Really? I would love that!” you said excitedly.

“Yes! You seem like you would make a great addition to our team! Could you start this Friday?”

“Yes!” You shook her hand and thanked her once again before heading home. You were excited that you finally had a job so you could escape the never-ending chores from your family.

You drove a little fast back to your house, and you ran inside to tell your family the news.

“I got the job!” you announced.

“I’m so proud of you!” your Mom and Dad said at the same time, coming towards you to hug you but you started to head upstairs before they could. You could see the hurt in your Mom’s eyes but you tried to brush it aside.

You headed to Jonny’s room to tell him the news, and this time you knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

“I got the job at the ice cream parlor!”

“Nice! Way to go, Y/N!” he gave you a high five.

“Where’s Bri?” you wondered.

“I just dropped her off at a guys house.”

You raised your eyebrow at him, “Are you serious? Our fourteen-year-old sister gets to go to a guys house and I get grounded for being an adult.”

“To be fair you were underage drinking,” he pointed out.

“But you did it too!”

“Yeah, but I was just smarter than you at hiding it! “

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

“You’re bi, why don’t you go date a girl instead of some douche?”

“Because I haven’t found any girls that are worthy for this,” you joked making your brother make gagging noises. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“Because I have better things to do than focus on love.”

“But you’re 21, I feel like you should start dating.”

“At least I’m not a virgin!”

“Fuck off, Johnny!” You flipped him off and started to head out his door.

“Hey I was just messing with you, do you want to play Mario Kart again? I’m bored,” he offered.

You sighed, “Sure, but you better get ready to get your ass beat.”

*     *     *

Today was the first day of your new job, and you were filled with nerves and excitement. You had put on your outfit, which included a bright yellow t-shirt that said “Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream” on it with pink bubble letters. You got to wear jeans which you were happy about.

You threw your hair up into a ponytail, and you headed downstairs to say goodbye to your family. Bri was downstairs watching a movie with your Dad, while your mom was in the kitchen doing more meal prep.

“You ready for your first day?” she asked, smiling.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you shrugged.

“Do you know what time you will get off?”

“I don’t, but I’ll keep you updated. I heard that the coworker's usually hung afterward on Friday, and I really think I should go since it’s my first day. I want to make a good first impression.”

“Hmm, I suppose. How late would it be?”

“Probably around midnight but they’re coworkers, Mom. I promise I won’t do anything dumb.”

You grabbed your keys and headed to your car. Your hands were sweating the entire way there, and when you pulled into a parking spot you decided to give yourself a little pep talk to yourself through your rearview mirror.

“Listen here Y/N. You got this. You are smart and everyone has to have their first day and be trained. You got this!” You gave yourself a high fived and headed in.

The manager was there and introduced you to a boy, his name was Ethan, and he was going to be the one who was training you. He was very flamboyant, and he wanted to know everything about you when there weren’t any customers.

He taught you how to use the cash register, and how to scoop the ice cream and make the different specials. It wasn’t as difficult as you were expecting and Ethan made it much easier. He was funny, and you enjoyed working with him.

“I guess I should let you know I’m gay in case you fall in love with me,” he joked.

“I couldn’t tell, and I’m gay too. Well, partially. I’m bi.”

“Whoa, we’re queer ice cream scoopers!” he held up his gloved hand for a high five. You laughed at the sound it made when it hit your hand which was also gloved.

“Y/L/N?” you turned around at the familiar voice calling out your name.

There he was.

Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph.

“Hey, Tyler! Josh.” You waved to Tyler and glared at Josh.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Tyler spoke as he looked through the ice cream flavors. Josh kept his gaze on you, and you couldn’t look away either. His warm chocolate eyes were pulling you in again. You noticed that there was color peeking underneath his t-shirt.

“Did you get a tattoo?” you asked him. He nodded and pulled up his sleeve to reveal that his shoulder was covered in a bright orange galaxy, surrounded by a deep blue. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was a space-scape; Josh had never been one for hiding his fascination with the universe. 

“Do you like it? I’m going to get a tree added on my forearm later this week!” he announced

“Yeah it looks really cool, but look we’re closing soon so can you hurry and order,” you joked.

“I want chocolate,” Tyler announced.

“That’s it?”

“Yep, just good ol’ plain chocolate!” Ethan made him his ice cream while you rung him up, giving him the employee discount even though you shouldn’t have.

“Do you want anything?” Ethan asked Josh, and he shook his head no. He kept on looking at you, and his gaze was different than usual but you couldn’t place why.

You watched the boys leave, waving to them goodbye. It was finally time for closing, and Ethan showed you how to clean.

“Is it usually only two of us closing?” you wondered.

“Usually on Friday it’s more but we were slow last year so they didn’t give us many hours this year.”

“So no coworker hang out?”

“Nope, not tonight. Don’t sound too disappointed,” he joked.

It was around 10:15 when you guys finally closed. You watched Ethan lock the door and you said goodbye to him as he headed to his car. You started to walk to your car which was parked across the street when you noticed a figure standing next to the passenger door.

“Josh?”

“Hey, Y/L/N,” he smiled.

“What are you doing here?” you asked confused as to where Tyler was, and if he waited here for you to get off.

“Y/N, I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind. I’m sorry for everything I said that day,” he rubbed his arm as he spoke. His voice was soft, and you could tell he was being genuine.

“Good thing I haven’t been able to get you off my mind either,” you chuckled.

“Can I show you something?” Josh asked, grabbing your hand which sent sparks up your arm.

“Sure.”

“Here, get in my car.” He walked you over to his Jeep that was parked not very far away from yours. You didn’t bother asking where he was taking you, and you just sat back and waited.

It was only about a six-minute drive, and he pulled up on this gravel road. He got out and came over to open your door. He grabbed your hand again and led you down to a little entrance to a lake.

The view was breathtaking. There was a full moon tonight, and it was being perfectly reflected onto the bluish tinted water. You could hear the crickets chirping, and coyotes howling in the background. It was an eerie and mysterious feeling being out here, but Josh held your hand.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered.

“Like you.”

You looked up at him and you couldn’t help but smile at his words. He looked handsome with the cool moonlight surrounding his face.

“I dare you to jump in the water,” you chuckled.

“No way, I’ll only do it if you do it!”

“Okay,” you shrugged. You started to take off your shirt.

“Wait, you’re serious?” he looked at you with mesmerization.

“I’m just trying to prove to you that I’m not so innocent as you think,” you winked and you threw your shirt at him. You slipped off your jeans and shoes leaving you standing there in your bra and panties.

“Y/N” Josh yelled your name but you were already running and jumping off the dock into the cold water. It was shocking and refreshing. You rose to the surface and spotted Josh who was now stripping his clothes as well. He stood there in just his boxers and you watched him jump in after you.

“It’s freezing!” his teeth chattered as he floated to the top. His curly hair was plastered to his forehead, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You swam over to Josh and placed your hand on his shoulders.

“You just kicked my foot,” you announced.

“I’m trying to not drown here, Y/L/N. It’s hard to tread water when you’re holding on to me!”

“Sorry, I don’t want to drown either!” you both were laughing, and swimming around. You were floating on your back, and Josh just watched you swim. You stopped for a little and threaded back to where Josh was holding on to the dock. You looked into his brown eyes that resembled earthy hues. You were lost, and you never wanted to be found.

“Y/L/N, I think I’m falling in love with you,” Josh whispered.

“Kiss me,” you blurted. Josh didn’t hesitate and before you knew it he was grabbing your cheek and pulling you close to him. You could feel his soft lips press against yours, and you could feel his tongue peeking through. You welcomed it in with a smile, and Josh continued to kiss you passionately.

You pulled away, out of breath from the kiss. It was everything you had dreamed of.

“How was that for your first real kiss?” he smirked.

“The best it could have ever been,” you planted another kiss on his lips as the moonlight lit up the water around you two.

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