#(( maybe I will cry about it!!! ugh this is so accurate ))

[bugeyedfreaks]

I still haven’t been able to pick up a copy of the new PPG comic but you know what? I saw this panel online from it and…

…if this is like a Super Zeroes-esque comic where the girls are envisioning alternate versions of themselves with different destinies and if Blossom wants to be a detective GOD! BLESS! whoever wrote this ‘cause it’s perfect.

Bubbles as a bunny and Buttercup as a wrestler are also both perfect but that goes without saying. 🙏

[luminarot]

WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU?

Love as a Threshold.

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.

[milo-is-rambling]

Thinking about drinking again want to be home alone forever that’s called moving out idiot get a job lol thanks brain anyways where’s the vodka

[nocturnalcharm]

SWF Alphabet (Logan Howlett)

𐙚 cw: mention of sex briefly, cursing

𐙚 a/n: all of these are just my ~opinions~ so feel free to disagree w me lol also maybe a lil self indulgent so probs not v accurate to wolvie but its alr :,) NOT PROOFREAD

18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

— doesn’t start out affectionate, but once you’ve got a deep connection, he becomes more affectionate. loves hugs and surprising you with gifts

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

— would start bc of the team obv. feel like he’d be the type of friend where,,, if you called him at 3am, for any reason, he’d be out of the house and otw to you at 3:01.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

— as much as i want to say yes.. like realistically no. bc nightmares and claws and trauma. but likeeee this is my blog bitch so yes hehe. he’s a big cuddle bug. def likes to be the big spoon but doesn’t mind being a lil spoon sometimes.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

— yes, he could see himself settling down but doesn’t rly care for getting married though, he just doesn’t see the point of it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

— (im crying) if he HAD to, i feel like he’d push it off and become more distant until you ask him what’s wrong, then he’d tell you everything. ookaY NEXT I DONT WANNA BE SAD

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

— i feel like he wouldn’t want to get married, not for a specific reason, just like doesn’t see the point. is committed to you though and if it was rly important to you, he would.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

— hA. physically yes very gentle unless ur having sex. emotionally………. nah. like if it’s a rly serious situation then yeah but he might not realize how serious something is until he’s already made an ass out of himself and then he’s like //oh shit i fucked up//

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

— heheh… yes. he hugs you all the time. literally always. coming up behind you while you’re cooking, or brushing your teeth and bear hugs you. he just likes touching you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

— oof. he takes awhile to say it. he def says it first though. but like.. awhile. probably like a year.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

— WHEWWWW I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. he’s very jealous. he says he’s not. but his actions show otherwise. like says he’s fine but can’t keep his hands off you (when he normally hates PDA) ugh i love it. just wants to show everyone you’re his.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

— passionate. leaves you wanting more. he likes to kiss you allllll overrrr. he likes to be kissed on his neck. and his chest when you’re cuddling and he doesn’t have a shirt on. and lips but duh.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

— cautious, like kinda scared. especially around babies. doesn’t know how to handle them lol

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

— sleepy, cuddly mornings. staying in bed for as long as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

— i like to think you two stay up late together. watching movies, cooking food at midnight, you two often fall asleep on the couch instead of the bed

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

— he doesn’t start getting rly personal until he knows you’re someone to trust, but it’d take awhile. he reveals things slowly.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

— unless you do something to really piss him off, which you wouldnt, i feel like he’d be chill (with u only obv, angry wolvie w everyone else)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

— sorry but like he remembers every detail you’ve told him. he comes home randomly with a specific candy bar you mentioned you like ONCE 2 years ago and is so proud of himself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

— when he first said “i love you”. he was so vulnerable and scared honestly but everything was fine and you said it back!!

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

— VERY. VERY BITCH. he will cut a bitch to protect you. literally. ‘touch her and you die’ vibes.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

— i kinda feel like unless it’s something rly important, he wouldn’t put that much effort in but not bc he doesn’t care. bc you like to go over the top and plan out everything lol

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

— isn’t great at communication. prob bottles things up until he kinda blows up whoooops. he definitely tries but has a hard time opening up.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

— he cares, have u seen his lil tufts? isn’t obsessed but puts effort into his appearance. just wants to look good for you!!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

— ummm yes. it takes a lot for him to open up & be comfortable around someone so if you just weren’t there anymore, for whatever reason, he would feel incomplete

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

— imagining him getting ready for date and he’s styling his lil tufts and ur waiting on him like ‘babe hurry we’re gonna be late!!’ and he’s just trying to perfect his hair so he looks good for you omg

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

— as a yapper this hurts to say but… if you talk too much i feel like it’d annoy him. just imaging you going on and on and on and in his head he’s like ‘get to the mf point ohmygoddddd’

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

— like i mentioned earlier, accidentally falling asleep on the couch lol. sorry but he snores and you have to shake him to make him stop

[ariseur]

'Ello luv, it's been a while since I saw someone writing for DMC ugh, miss when dmc(5) was trending... What a good time!

I don't know if your requests are open or not, but catch up with me!! Our pretty girls and boys with a vampire!reader! Or or— A WITCH! BOTH

Like, you choose if it's a bunch of headcanons, blurbs, a full one shot with a character or not, I just really want to see it!

Well, obviously if you can do it honey, if you can't it's fine <3

dmc crew dating a vampire 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

devil may cry x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

this was actually my first request on this blog!! i don’t know why i put it off for so long bc it’s literally so cool?? i ended up just doing a vampire instead of witch/vampire witch so i hope you guys enjoy considering my phone crashed trying to copy n paste this from my notes to tumblr 💋

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

blood (but in the vampire way ykyk), fangs and mentions of sharp teeth, intended lowercase, kinda spoilers for dmc5 in v’s,

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓓ANTE — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ you are literally so hot in DANTE’s eyes, you could honestly do no wrong.

❥ i think you guys already know what i’m gonna say..

❥ if you feed on blood or need it for some sort of sustenance, dante will gladly volunteer. he thinks it’s the hottest thing ever.

❥ although, i’m not sure if vampires much like demon blood..

❥ eh, oh well. dante will still think it’s attractive, especially if you have fangs or some sort of sharper canines.

❥ only downside to being a vampire and dating dante is that you’ll occasionally hear a super bad transylvanian accent. like.. really bad.

❥ but!! if you’re also a demon hunter like him— and you have some cool freaky powers like draining blood or energy from empusas or really just any ability that’s useful, it’s heart eyes all around from him.

❥ you could be covered in blood or feasting on something and then you’ll spot dante in the corner wielding devil sword dante after defeating like seventy fuckin other demons and he’s just.. mesmerized.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥ERGIL — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ VERGIL’s much more curious about your species. do you have any weaknesses? are the fictionalized versions of your kind portrayed accurately? what are you exactly?

❥ luckily he’s a lot more quiet about his curiosity compared to, maybe— nico. his staring is intimidating, though. when he sits with you or near you, he’ll usually just study you. maybe it looks like he’s judging but he’s really just analyzing your appearance. especially if you have any distinctive features.

❥ if you have that dark ruddy aesthetic, he’ll likely admire from afar even if red isn’t exactly his favorite color.

❥ if you really needed it, he’d let you feed off of him although it’s definitely not his first choice. he’s not really a fan of being bitten, especially if you need to bite his neck or something like that.

❥ probably finds some esoteric artistic poem or painting with an underlying meaning of having to do with vampires and thinks of you every time he looks at it.

❥ his gothic poetic side is showing

❥ ugh i just wanna kiss his scowl so bad but i also wanna punch him.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓝ERO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ nero literally thinks it’s so cool.

❥ he might be a little wary once he first meets you? like are you gonna tackle him rn and sacrifice him with your own lil blood ritual?

❥ but once he finds out you’re docile or that you pick and choose on whom you feed on, he’s like, “oh okay that’s cool”

❥ probably like dante where the only version he knows of vampires are the hollywood adaptations of them. so like.. he’s confused if you can go into sunlight? or you can eat certain foods? or if you can go near churches??

❥ he, too, thinks you’re super hot. however!! very iffy about you drinking blood or feeding in front of him. not like it grosses him out but it’s kinda.. weird to watch for him?? idk.

❥ another thing is that he doesn’t want you biting him at all. he’s like vergil where he’ll be baffled if you even ask, except he’s super hesitant to offer himself unless you’re super injured and in dire need of it.

❥ just step on him to shut him up atp

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥 — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ V’s goth ass won’t shut up about how divine your species is and how fascinating he finds you.

❥ curious on your feeding habits and what you essentially need to survive, tries to find any and every book that he can about vampires so he can learn about you even more.

❥ he’s like those people who romanticize the 1800s or the salem witch trials or greece or ethel cain or lana del rey while kicking their feet and posting about it. he will find a way to make the situation poetic, trust me.

❥ finds it amusing if you’re annoyed by griffon’s teasing and threaten to eat him first if you were to ever go rogue, you might even be able to get a close mouthed chuckle out of v.

❥ utterly fascinated by just your very being, even if it’s just mundane traits. especially loves to see your fangs, dunno why but they’re just aesthetically pleasing to him.

❥ considering he’s kinda like a deteriorating human that’s basically turning into a husk, i wouldn’t recommend feeding on him unless you plan to kill him—which who would wanna murder our emo bae right here? (capcom)

❥ the type of person to roll his eyes at false folklore and representation because he’s literally in love with an actual vampire?? how dare they portray you like this??

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓛ADY — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ LADY also finds you super hot!!

❥ also interested because she’s probably never seen a vampire outside of media— so it’s a nice change of pace rather than being face to face with demons all day.

❥ despite all this, after the initial introduction, i’m not sure she’d care too hard? like— sure, you’re considered a supernatural being and all that.

❥ and although she thinks it’s super dope, i feel like it wouldn’t matter as much to her. she’s seen and done a lot of things at such a young age, i feel as though she’s almost desensitized?

❥ she’s so badass she can’t even care. she’s literally respected by dante, whom is titled ‘the legendary devil hunter’. (dmc5 did her dirty with her lack of part in the storyline 💔)

❥ she’ll respect any of your needs, and ngl also thinks you biting into her neck is hot.

❥ kinda surprised that you’re able to go out into sunlight even if she’ll never tell you that 😭

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓣RISH — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ another one who doesn’t care that much. it’s not like TRISH is dismissive of your species and where you come from, but she’s literally a full on demon who’s probably seen everything.

❥ you guys r so hot though, like the ultimate power couple.

❥ oh, and if you’re a devil hunter, too? you guys r gonna kick sm ass together. she’ll invite you to roll around with her for a while rather than with dante, although if you’re associated with devil may cry then that’s fine too. she’ll put up with dante’s ass just to visit you more often.

❥ i don’t recommend feeding off of trish?

❥ idk how vampires take to drinking demon blood

❥ but shit, if you have that red aesthetic and are just a total femme fatale (or other gender equivalent to that), trish is in charge of your outfits now.

❥ don’t even fight it, you will end up in the outfit regardless.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓝ICO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ oh boy

❥ if you’re lucky enough to survive the first meeting with NICO and you end up actually being in a relationship? you are def a trooper.

❥ when you’re first introduced, she bombards you with questions.

❥ where did you come from? do you have powers? are you like a demon and are there more of you? if so, can she harvest parts for a new bio-weapon? do vampires reproduce the same as humans? are you gonna suck her blood??

❥ she’s just a curious lady cut my girl some slack

❥ she thinks you’re so cool though!! wants you to tell her everything you know about vampires so she can log it. even if you’ve been in a long term relationship, she still can’t help but ask more questions.

❥ but!! as cool and hot as she thinks you are— like nero, she does not wanna see you feed and does not wanna be fed on!! (except.. maybe just one time to see how it feels.)

❥ ugh she just loves you sm please indulge her

[tessenpai]

Kono Oto Tomare! Chapter 128.5 Scans and Rough TL

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT use this translation to make your own TL of the chapter!! The KOT TL group works very hard to give you the most accurate translation, that does as much justice to the original script as possible. This is a ROUGH translation. That means is faulty and there must be mistakes in certain places. This is just for impatient people like myself to get a grasp on what is going on in the chapter! You can REFERENCE my TL if you want to discuss the chapter but never USE it as it was your own.

Scans: (I recommend the use of an adblocker to avoid NSFW content) https://klz9.com/jxsh-kono-oto-tomare-raw-chapter-129.html

Page 1

Isaki [thoughts]: On my 27th winter

Isaki [thoughts]: My father passed away.

Side text: The story of how Chika and Isaki met...

Gen [memories]: If something were to happen to me...

Gen [memories]: Please take care of Chika.

Isaki [thoughts]: ---To me

Chika: Whatever. I don't care.

Page 2

Chika: I don't give a shit what you think of me. Not anymore.

Side text: When his grandfather died, his heart did as well---...

Isaki [thoughts]: He left only one request.

Chapter title: #ex [first light]

Page 3

Isaki [thoughts]: ....Whaaa---... No no, you can't be serious... This? You left this to me??

Gen [memories]: His eyes have been full of kindness lately.

Isaki [thoughts]: Where??

Isaki [thoughts]: Those are not the eyes of a child. Normally, it would've been impossible.

Isaki [thoughts]: Something like this... I've never even raised a child before, this is way out of my league---...

Isaki: !!

Isaki: Eh? Wai- Where are you goi--

Chika's father: Leave him!!

Isaki: Still...

Page 4

Gen [thoughts]: I leave it to you.

Isaki [thoughts]: Really, you ask too much...

Isaki [thoughts]: Wow.

Isaki: Excuse me, could borrow an umbrella?

Employee: Go ahead.

Isaki [thoughts]: He couldn't have gone too far yet but... Where should I even look for him?

Isaki [thoughts]: In a place that looks unsafe?

Page 5

Isaki [thoughts]: What should I do if he got in a fight again?

Isaki [thoughts]: There he is...

Isaki [thoughts]: For now, let's just call out to him. He will probably reject me but... Wait, if I get rejected, is there anything I can do after that? We've just met, so... The most practical thing for me to do would be to go back and call my brother.

Page 6

*No text*

Page 7

Isaki: ....Oh. Um...

Isaki: ...

Isaki: ...Do you know who I am? I'm your father's younger sister.

Isaki: Dad... Did Grandpa ever tell you about me?

Chika: ...

Isaki: About my brother... I think he's just a little bit preoccupied right now, so… maybe you should talk to him when he's a bit calmer and...

Chika: It's fine.

Chika: I really couldn't care less about that.

Page 8

Isaki: What? But...

Isaki [thoughts]: He was crying so hard just now...

Isaki [thoughts]: ...Ah.

Isaki [thoughts]: ...I see...

Isaki: You... Truly loved Grandpa.

Page 9

Isaki: I think the time Grandpa spent with you was really fun and joyful to him.

Isaki: I think you made him happy.

Isaki: For being with him until the end... Thank you.

Chika: !!

Page 10

Chika: u... ugh.

Isaki [thoughts]: ...Aaah.

Isaki [thoughts]: Can't do.

Isaki [thoughts]: I definitely

Isaki: Chika

Page 11

Isaki: Come live with me

Isaki [thoughts]: I can't leave this child alone.

Isaki [thoughts]: ---That was

Page 12

Isaki [thoughts]: The beginning for Chika and me.

Isaki: We haaave arrived! This is my humble abode--!

Isaki: The bathroom is over here--- And over there---

Isaki: Who would've thought you could do that...

Chika: What?

Isaki [thoughts]: He is surprisingly well-behaved.

Isaki: Here, this is my room---...

Sfx: Clack...

Page 13

Isaki: If you enter, I will beat you up ☆

Chika: ...

Isaki: Next up is the living room.

Isaki: And finally-- Your room!!

Sfx: Ta-daaaan

Chika: ...

Isaki: You got nothing to say about it...?

Chika: I'm fine just with a place to sleep in.

Isaki [thoughts]: I was just kidding... I planned on partitioning the living room to create a room for him but...

Isaki: ..............Whatever, I guess.

Page 14

Chika [Sfx]: Look around

Isaki: Hm? Are you looking for something?

Chika: ...I was just thinking that there aren't any kotos around here.

Isaki: Aah.

Isaki: I used to play it a little a long time ago. Now, not at all.

Isaki: My job is related to events so I sometimes get exposed to it from time to time.

Chika: Hmmmm.

Isaki: What, did you want to play the koto?

Chika: Nah, I can't play.

Isaki: Is that right? My fathe... Grandpa told me on the phone before

Isaki: "Chika played the koto!" He was so happy when he said that.

Page 15

Isaki [thoughts]: ----Ah.

Chika: ...Hmmm.

Isaki [thoughts]: His eyes light up as soon as Grandpa is mentioned

Isaki [thoughts]: That's probably his true self...

Sfx: Ruuumble

Isaki: ...Did you hear that?

Chika: ...Well, yeah.

Isaki: That's because I'm hungry. It's almost six, let's have dinner.

Isaki: What do you want to eat? We can go eat out or order delivery---

Chika: I don't need anything.

Page 16

Isaki: ...What?

Chika: Food, I mean... I'll be fine even with little food.

Isaki: What are you even saying??

Chika: It's enough if you just lend me a place to sleep.

Chika: I don't plan on coming for anything except to sleep.

Chika: Today I will also go somewhere else until night hits.

Chika: About my clothes... I would be thankful if you let me leave them here.

Isaki: I will make it.

Chika: ------Eh?

Isaki: Today, Isaki-sama, for your well-being, from the bottom of her heart, will cook for you. So eat. Until there isn't a single crumb left.

Page 17

Isaki: Right now, the only things I have in the fridge are water, alcohol, and snacks. I gotta do some shopping.

Chika: Eh? Wai-

Isaki: Ah, are you coming with me?

Chika: If there's anything you need, we can buy it.

Chika: ...Well, no ...There's really nothing.

Isaki: That so? Well, just stay at home then.

Chika: !

Chika: ...

Isaki: What, you coming then? Is there something you want?

Chika: ...There's nothing, really...

Page 18

Isaki [thoughts]: Yeaaaaaah, I don't get it.

Isaki [thoughts]: He is following me, but he is so far away.

Isaki [thoughts]: Well, you know? Of course, right? From a junior high school student's point of view, a woman around 30 years old is considered an old woman, right?. I'm sure it's embarrassing to walk around with one, right?

Isaki [thoughts]: I totally bought too much.

Isaki [thoughts]: Whatever--- It's just a 5-minute walk...

Sfx: Grap.

Page 19

Isaki [thoughts]: Oh?

Isaki [thoughts]: Ooooh...?

Isaki: Wai- At least let me carry one of those.

Chika: ...

Isaki: Hey!

Chika [Sfx]: Power walking

Isaki: Wha-!?

Isaki: Wait right there! Hey!!

Isaki: Don't ignore me!!

Isaki: Listen here!! I get that you don't want to walk with me but

Isaki: That kind of thing is still hurtful, you know!? I'm grateful you are carrying the bags, though!!

Page 20

Chika: Ah, no.

Chika: That's not... it.

Isaki: Come again?

Chika: ...Did you see how it ended up? Gramps house, I mean.

Chika: It'd better for you not to be seen around me.

Page 21

Isaki: Are you underestimating adults?

Isaki: Gramps house? Yeah, I took a good look at it with these two eyes. It was the worst among the worst.

Isaki: I think the people who did that are really shitty kids. And you're a fool for hanging out with them.

Page 22

Isaki: When I first heard about the incident, to be honest, I was super pissed with you.

Isaki: I thought it was too much trouble, I wanted nothing to do with it.

Isaki: But once I actually met you, you were only a child crying for the death of his grandpa.

Isaki: You have reflected and regretted. But you are still someone who hasn't learned how to look forward, at all.

Isaki: Don't you dare try to put yourself in front of me to try and protect me.

Page 23

Isaki: There's no way I will run from some brats who try to belittle my nephew.

Isaki: I will use my power as an adult to turn the tables on them-

Isaki: So you can rest at ease, and walk beside me. And every day, you can come home normally!!

Isaki: Do you understand!?

Page 24

Isaki: Come on, let's go.

Chika: Carrying it like this is embarrassing....

Isaki; Oh, is that so? Let go, then, and let me carry these heaaaavy bags all on my own.

Chika: Ugh...

Chika: ...

Page 25

Isaki [thoughts]: That night

Isaki [thoughts]: For the first time in several years I cooked

Isaki [thoughts]: A fucking disgusting A slightly different curry

Isaki [thoughts]: Chika did exactly as I told him.

Isaki [thoughts]: And didn't leave a single crumb.

Page 26

Isaki [thoughts]: He is more honest than I thought.

Isaki [thoughts]: And he is extremely clumsy.

Isaki [memory]: ----Eh? You don't want to go to high school and want to start working directly instead? Is there a work you are interested in?

Chika[memory]: There's nothing like that but, normally I would have to pay rent, and earn my living. I wanna pay for it.

Isaki[memory]: What, now?

Isaki[memory]: Your father will be paying for all your expenses, isn't that obvious?

Isaki[memory]: You don't want to depend on your father?

Chika[memory]: Ugh...

Isaki[memory]: Well, is not like I don't understand where you are coming from, but.

Page 27

Isaki [memory]: If there's anything you can use, use it.

Isaki[memory]: If you can rely on something or someone, do it.

Isaki[memory]: There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Isaki[memory]: For once, forget about things like money and whatnot. Just think about what you want for yourself.

Isaki[memory]: But if after that, you still want to work, then I will support you.

Chika [thoughts]: ...What I want for myself...

Chika [thoughts]: ..............

Chika [thoughts]: I have no clue--... I don't have a hobby or any kind of special talent. Nothing.

Page 28

Chika [thoughts]: ...Truly. I really have nothing.

Chika [thoughts]: Nothing...

Gen [memory]: Chika!

Isaki [thoughts]: I'm home---

Chika [Sfx]: Stare

Isaki: Eh? What is it? You are scaring me.

Isaki: What, did you break something?

Chika: I didn't break anything.

Isaki: What is it, then?

Page 29

Chika: .....

Chika: Ther-

Chika: There's something I... Want.

Isaki: ! What is it?

Chika: ----------

Chika: Pi- picture...

Chika: I want a picture.

Chika: ....Of Gramps.

Chika: I

Chika: Don't have even one... so.

Page 30

Chika: If it's not doable, that's fine.

Isaki: Eh- no-! It's totally doable!!! Pictures, huh! I will bring them over!

Isaki: These are albums.

Chika: Are these all Gramps'?

Isaki: Well, there are also other family members in them.

Isaki: You can grab whichever picture you like.

Chika: ...Thanks

Chika [thoughts]: Oooh...

Page 31

Chika [thoughts]: Around this age, I can already tell it's Gramps.

Chika[memory]: Koto club? What's that, a club where you play koto?

Gen [memory]: Yeah. I was the founder of the Tokise Koto Club!

Page 32

Chika: ---...This.

Isaki: Hm? Ahhh, that's a picture of when the Koto Club was first founded.

Chika: ...Does this club

Chika: Still exist?

Isaki: If I remember correctly, it's still there, but----

Gen [memory]: Do you want to give it a try?

Gen [memory]: Haha, you are pretty good.

Gen [memory]: You actually seem pretty talented.

Isaki [memory]: "Chika played the koto!" He was so happy when he said that.

Page 33

Isaki: -----...

Isaki: Did you find what you want to do?

Page 34

Chika: I wonder if it's too late for me to aim to go to high school.

Isaki: Well, that depends on how much effort you put on i---

Isaki: Wait a second!! You have to submit an application form for the entrance exam! When is the deadline!? It's already December!!

Isaki: Will we make it on time?

Chika: I will go ask Tetsuki!!

Isaki: Eh? Who is Tetsuki!?

Chika: It's ok! I will make it on time!! If I tell Tetsuki, it will be fine, for sure!!

Isaki: Ok, but who is Tetsuki!!??

Chika: Uh... I

Chika: Will go to Tokise and

Chika: I will join the Koto Club Gramps created!!!

Page 35

Isaki [thoughts]: Thank you, Dad. For leaving a light for Chika.

Isaki: That's great!!

Isaki: Well then, from now on, it's full-time studying!

Chika: Starting tomorrow I will ask Tetsuki to help me study, so I will pass for sure!

Isaki: What the hell is a Tetsuki!!!???

Side text: I hope this sound reaches the heavens----...

Isaki [thoughts]: Chika won't lose sight of that light, and this time I will be right beside him.

Isaki [thoughts]: Please, look after us.

---Kono Oto Tomare! will continue in the next issue---

[catbeeisafraid]

I don’t have like a ton to say about this but I have mixed feelings- also spoilers ✨

I like Crystal I really do but at times her dialogue bothered me and some of her behavior was kind of obnoxious to me- like at times when she started aggressively inserting herself into situations and just kind of made it about her? Like in episode seven (though this happened many other times too) where she was having a total fit about not going to hell when it’s clearly for her own good and not about her no matter how much she cares? and I totally understand that this is her being written as an immature teenager who hasn’t been dead or a teen for 30-100 years but as a teenager this sort of selfish immature writing kind of gives me icky feelings because I know so many people who are mostly emotionally intelligent not just raging all the time.- and I mean that for a lot of teenagers and teen girls in writing, to make them tough and likable they are made volitile and annoying which to me is not likable (my opinion, I just don’t like the trope that’s not what I’m talking about right now anyway-) I do think she had good development and I liked her a lot better by the end, some people on other forums were saying that her actress was weaker than the rest of the cast and I don’t really know about that? I think maybe she was artificial at times but I’m blaming that on the writing. I also didn’t like her dialogue about her “crazy demon ex” either, it felt very forced? -Not her emotions about the whole mind cage thing I get that but just all of the “UGH WHY ARE THEY SO FUCKING NOSY IM JUST TRYING TO GET OVER MY STUPID STUPID CRAZY ABUSIVE STALKER DEMON EX BOYFRIEND UGHHH ILL DOUBLE KILL THOSE BOYS IF ITS TGE LAST THING I DO” that felt out of place to me- Lastly I get that this is also an aspect of her teenager-ness but I didn’t like the amount she cursed? I have no qualms with cursing but it felt to me like when little kids and middle schoolers start cursing where they just explosively yell fuck when like literally nothing warranting that kind of expletive has happened? She curses too often it makes her sound really stupid? Like the ep 7 “take me to hell I won’t die” thing, she was screaming at Charles who was being pretty reasonable like “fuck that I’m going he’s my fucking friend too fine then fuck it- fuck you ill find another way to get to hell” like yes she was emotional but that isn’t what teenagers sound like guys?

idk- I’d love to hear what other people think and to be clear I do like her I just focused on the negative- I guess it’s a human thing. She had lots of strong points just I ending up not liking how much she was on screen, this isn’t really about you? It’s about the dead boy detective? Give me more ghosts or Edwin or Charles or Jenny or Niko or Mr walrus please? They were fun I like them? I just felt like there were times where she was over shadowing Edwin and Charles and they are what’s actually important to the show? I think I’d like her more in smaller doses- I felt like I spent too much time having to stop and be like “girl step back this is not about you, you are not the star right now”

and to the argument of her actress being inexperienced or over acting or just not great- I have no specific feelings on this but like the other main cast had for the most part very little screen acting experience and were Fantastic so i don’t know what to feel in that area? so yes, i think crystal is an interesting character and i think she grew on me and developed in the season but i also definitely think that she’s annoying and I’m conflicted because i don’t want to not like her-..

what are your thoughts? Id love to hear different perspectives but please be nice to me because I’ll probably delete this and cry (unless that was your goal, then carry on)

that was all like super ramble-y sorry- but I hope I communicated semi accurately! Thank you

[defire]

Back to the Dregs Part 10

Part 1 Next

Content: flashback to child abuse, cutting, escape attempt, forced drug use

"Hold still, Michael." Mr. Huer gripped the base of his head so tightly he could feel his heartbeat around the fingers. "Now tell me what you did."

"I... made a friend?" Michael's fifteen-year-old voice was timid and shaky.

Mr. Huer's response was to bang his head against the wall of the telephone booth.

"No." He said. "Try again."

Michael's ears rang with the harshness of the impact.

"I... talked to someone outside the family?"

"You did more than that."

Michael heard the click of a knife being opened behind him.

"Please, sir, please, I don't know what I did," He stammered. "Just talk to me, sir, I'll be better, I promise."

The sharp metal pressed against the nape of his neck.

Michael stared through the blurry glass, hoping against hope that someone would come into the street and stop Mr. Huer. But there was a Huer "uncle" watching that street.

"You talked." Mr. Huer growled. The knife split his skin open and Michael hissed in pain, pushing against the glass. "What did you tell her about us?"

"Nothing, sir, I--ah!" Michael winced as the knife dragged and twisted at the nape of his neck, bringing tears to his eyes.

"You're only making this worse for yourself."

"Sir, please, promise me you won't kill me." Michael begged. His stomachalways turned at how easily he'd betrayed himself that day.

Point still at his neck, Mr. Huer simply waited.

Maybe if he told him, it would stop.

Blood trickled and itched down his neck and back, and the wound stretched a little when he spoke.

"I just... All I said was that I was scared of you sometimes."

Mr. Huer inhaled and Michael braced himself against the glass.

"Michael?" He said into the boy's ear. "You're not scared of me. Why did you lie to her?"

A shiver ran down Michael's spine at that low, gravelly tone.

"But I wasn't--" Michael broke off into a cry as the knife cut him again and he clenched his teeth hard.

"I lied, because I..."

"You wanted to leave the family?"

Michael trembled.

"I would never want to leave this family, sir." He whispered. "It's good. You're a good man. I guess I just..."

Slice.

"Aah!" Michael's breath frosted the window a little as he cried. "Please sir, I'm sorry," he sobbed.

Slice.

"Never forget whose property you are, son. I never want you to forget that you have a family."

After the wounds becaem scars, Michael traced them with his finger, and his eyes widened. They weren't just mindless cuts.

They were the initials, J.H.

"It's nothing." Michael told Chris, and adjusted his ponytail to cover it more completely.

[Note: I don't smoke so if this is inaccurate, please let me know because I'd like to be accurate.]

The pain was subtle by the time Chris left, bearable as long as Michael didn't move a muscle.

That was hard to do when Jordie blustered in, clomping up to the bed and taking Michael by the wrist.

"That was some fucking display," Jordie maneuvered the cuff around Michael's wrist.

Michael looked away to wince as it clamped down.

"Ey." Jordie slapped the bruised side of his face with a backhand. "Ey, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Michael hunched his shoulders and looked cautiously at Jordie.

"You cried like a little bitch!" Jordie said. "You miss wittle charmander, don't you."

Michael shook his head.

"What?" Jordie laughed. "Embarrassed of your 'ashtray' arms?"

Michael lurched forward and jumped out of bed toward Jordie, who caught his other wrist, and seeing Michael's flinch, squeezed it hard.

"Ugh--" Michael cringed, trying to keep his weight off his shot leg, realizing how stupid and worthless he looked.

I have my shirt on, He reminded himself.

"Oh, what's this?" Jordie yanked at the cuff of the oversized shirt he'd been given, revealing a dozen or so scars marking up his arm there.

"Oh, it's missing one. That needs to be remedied. There's this, empty space," He was jerking Michael's arm in response to his struggles, touching the burning marks.

Fighting didn't work with Jordie. What had worked? Michael thought carefully. Yes.

He lowered his head and stopped struggling, masking his enraged heavy breaths with a pretense of fear. The shame was real.

"That's right." Jordie said. "Now climb into bed like a good little kid while I light up."

Michael's hard work exploded in an instant.

"I'm not a kid." He snapped. "Stop calling me that!"

The last word was muffled by Jordie's hand over his mouth and the other hand on his balls. When he reached to stop him, Jordie twitched his hand tighter.

"Uh-uh-uh." He said. "Or I crush the grapes."

Michael ground his teeth and put his hand on the bed. Jordie's thick fingers pressed just tight enough to hurt.

"Sit." Jordie said.

Michael did very slowly, trying to hide all of his rage under a stony poker face. But he never was a good actor.

"Look at you," Jordie said. "All tragically fucked up and angry. You and your collection of scars, each with their own moment of agony. I would now." He added. "The difference is, I was being abused. I have no shame about it. You... that's just who you are."

Maybe once Michael would've felt that, and taken it in. But he'd had years of therapy.

The words now finally said out loud--the exact words he'd been thinking for years--now sounded crazy.

Michael felt a chuckle start deep iin his chest as he slowly looked up at Jordie.

"Who I am?" He siad. "Do I actually look like a literal ashtray to you?"

Jordie considered a moment, looking at Michael's body.

"No," He said. "You look more like a punching bag."

He crushed in and Michael gasped, clutching reflexively at Jordie's hand as if to tear it away from his crotch.

"Jordie don't." He wheezed, looking up at him pleadingly.

Jordie let go, grabbed his left wrist, and fished around in his pocket for a smoke.

Michael's heart started to pound and tighten as Jordie backed up, lit the cigarette, and watched as if he expected Michael to squirm.

"Camel greens, huh." Michael said softly.

Jordie exhaled slowly, raising his eyebrows at Michael.

"I prefer the red." Michael breathed in deep, feeling a mixture of anxiety and bliss at the familiar smell.

"You smoke?" Jordie's eyebrows raised a little higher.

"Well..." Michael shrugged. "I've been clean for two years."

Jordie laughed, looking at the ceiling.

"Clean?" He said. "We'll have to fix that."

Michael licked his lips. He wanted one. Very much.

"Here." Jordie tumbled one out for him. "Come on. No such thing as quitting. You want it or not?"

No, Michael thought. I've been clean for two years, and I am not going to ruin that just because I--

He had looked up resolutely into Jordie's face, ready to refuse, but when he saw Jordie's expression, he clenched his teeth and hesitated. There was a dangerous calm glitter in his eyes.

"Go ahead." Jordie shook it a little, not smiling. "Take one."

Michael's breath shook on the way out.

"...Thank you." He said. He took the cigarette and let Jordie light it for him.

The taste was bitter, familiar, and slightly disappointing. And then his eyes closed as he savored that calm euphoria. For a moment he wondered why he'd ever quit.

Because COPD, you fucking idiot. His mind responded.

A bit of nausea came up in his gut. Maybe it was because he hadn't eaten, not to mention the injuries.

He held the cigarette in his fingers, watching two years' work vaporize in his hand.

It was a bad day.

And Jordie was laughing a little.

"You should see your face," He chuckled. "It's like a gave you your pet's eyeballs or something."

Chills ran over Michael's arms again as he watched Jordie's own cigarette dwindling up toward the filter.

The two of them smoked quietly for a minute. It was almost a nice, conversational silence, with the edge of dread that always came when Michael watched someone else smoking.

Michael watched Jordie draw another puff, and his own fingers trembled as he saw how close Jordie's coal was to the filter.

Jordie smirked.

"So, which are you, an ashtray or a punching bag?"

Michael grimaced, putting his own cigarette out on the bedframe and tossing it away. Clearly he had no good option here.

Another beating would cause damage his body may not be able to handle. If his internals were already damaged, this could make htat damage irreversible.

But... His mind raced him through the process of the cigarette pressing into his skin and the pain, but most of all, the shame of every other time being reinforced right now, after all that work, after all that therapy...

"I provide the shirt on your back," Mr. Huer had said. "I wouldn't want to have to take it, and let the world know what you are. I'd rather protect you from that, son. Come here, roll up your sleeve."

Michael, every time, had told himself it wasn't that bad, it was just a cigarette, at least he wasn't putting out his cigar on him again. He'd tug up his sleeve and turn away his face as he acted as his father's "ashtray".

"I don't want you to forget your place in this family." Mr. Huer had said.

Michael clenched his teeth and raised his eyes from the glowing cigarette to Jordie's expectant smirk.

He couldn't take another beating.

He swallowed, eyes on his lap, and held out his wrist.

Jordie grabbed his hand to keep him from flinching away. Michael grunted through his teeth as the coal pressed into his skin with a little hiss, and he tugged at his arm, groaning through his teeth. His hand shook in Jordie's grasp.

"Who's my little ashtray?" Jordie grinned.

Michael gave one last yank and got his arm back, covered the wound loosely with his sleeve, and then gripped the wrist just below it and huddled over it.

"It's gonna be fun having you around." Jordie said, standing up.

"Tasteless." Michael hissed.

"Wait till you see my next one." Jordie scoffed, and left.

It had been five horrible days. It wasn't that Jordie bothered him that much or that Chris kept freaking him out--he would've preferred that.

He'd entertained himself to disgust.

He'd bitten his nails down till they bled, three times. He'd bitten the skin off from around the nails. He'd picked off every piece of lint from the blanket. He'd spent three hours pretending the toilet in the corner was a shrine to the toilet paper god. And speaking of that, he'd run out of the hand sanitizer Chris had given him by trying to clean every stain off his bed frame and mattress. He was going out of his mind.

He was hardly sleeping, in constant increasing pain from not being able to stretch and exercise, and he'd started hearing voices. Like Morgan's voice, instead of just mouthing the word, actually saying, "Sorry, Michael."

The charmanders on his pj bottoms had started talking to each other as well.

By the time Chris came in with his dinner on the fourth day, he was literally in tears begging him to let him out to see the others.

"But Jordie's out there, man." Chris had said. "You don't want to go out there."

"I have ADHD, man, this is killing me, please," Michael had begged, almost in tears.

Chris' eyes had narrowed with suspicion--as if he didn't believe that someone could go insane with boredom--and had left with a muttered apology.

And the whole time, there were increasing sounds of construction and people outside.

It was on the fifth day that Michael, dissociating as he stared at a hole on the ceiling that looked like a spider if he blurred his vision a little, heard the door open and vaguely felt someone walk in.

"...Hey..." He said his programmed response.

And then a punch hit him.

"Ghuh--" He gasped, coming back to the present. "Oh, fuck, it's nice to see another face."

Jordie's response was to slap him harder in the cheek.

Michael, slow on the uptake this morning, only managed to barely block a second slap.

"Have--have I done anything in particular to--"

He had to block another slap, at which Jordie growled and grabbed his forearm. The scars burned at the touch. They might be years old, but somehow his arms still remembered every single mark.

"Jordie, man, come on."

The left-handed slap hit this time, bringing tears to Michael's eyes.

"...Whatever I did, I'm sorry." He blinked, feeling his cheek begin to puff up and redden.

Jordie took him by the chin, fingers squeezing into his forearm in a vice grip, slamming his head back into the metal bedframe bar.

"Do you ever shut up?"

Michael winced and gritted his teeth. He hated that a sense of rejection was twisting with the nausea in his stomach. Shutting up wasn't too hard for Michael. After all, he'd had an instinctive freeze response for years.

Having to do it again was like going back to that old, haunted identity.

The one before he made himself. Before he became the unfairly-promoted, lowest-performing detective in Cleveland.

Sinking into that self without the defense of "worrying" about everyone else was crushing.

It was worse than the physical pain. But there was only so much he could take before his body made the choice for him.

Just coming down from an injury-induced fever, Michael was weak and vulnerable.

"That's better." Jordie said, surveying his face. "Nice and scared and quiet. Now if I take you to sit out with the others, will you be good?"

Michael closed his eyes, trying not to be irritated at the condescension, and nodded.

It was nearly night when Pete came back.

He was not alone.

"You told me you'd have him begging. A full week!" --the sound of a blow strikign somewhere hard, through clothes, made Michael's senses pop to full alert and set his heart beating hard and fast-- "A full week! And you don't report this... this failure!"

Michael heard a muffled yelp from Pete as he was dragged into the room, arm twisted over his head at an almost deforming angle.

His eyes darted over to Michael and a dark flush settled over his cool complexion. The man slapped Pete.

Pete blinked, bowing his head in obiescence.

"You think they'll come for the brat like that? They screamed at each other, Pete!"

Pete said nothing, bowing a few times.

Suddenly three more hard punches, which he didn't attempt to block, took his wind, took him to his knees, gasping with a strained mutter of apology, more bowing, face utterly full of shame.

Then the man wheeled on Michael.

"You." He snapped. "Strip this guy. Who's up for a little fun?"

Michael dissociated as they came for him. Pete had, for just a moment, looked exactly like Morgan that day in the rain at the bus station.

Michael had run all the way there, then realized he had no idea where to go, or how, and then leaned forward and idd something he never did–prayed to fate or God or whatever.

"Just get me out of this. If there's any care in you at all. Please."

A sense of his own tinyness in the middle of existence overwhelmed him, and he huddled n against a monstrous cold front of November.

And then he heard it--the skittery footfalls of Morgan Huer.

He flinched and huddled in.

Don't see me, don't see me.

"Michael." Morgan said, and Michael jumped. "Dad knows."

Michael cursed and cringed away from Morgan, expecting to be dragged out of the booth, through the rain, and back to Morgan's father, who would already be waiting with the poker.

Morgan was watching his reaction with what Michael interpreted as sadistic enjoyment.

"Don't torture me, Morgan." Michael said. "Just do it."

"Then come willingly," Morgan said.

"You know I can't do that. I don't know how to be good. I've tried. It's pointless. I just... I can't go back,"

And he watched Morgan's face go from calm, to twisted up and working. Then the shame, the dread, fixed on Michael in a confusing stare.

"I'll... tell him I found you in the yard."

Michael couldnt' believe his ears. Morgan had never offered something like that before.

There was a long pauseas Michael's eyes widened, realizing Morgan was serious.

"You better listen in, so you don't lie wrong if he sees through me." Morgan added. "Come on, let's go."

Morgan got his jaw broken for that.

He never stood up for Michael again.

Michael's brain reeled as he watched hte gang surrounding him. A hundred variations of one idea with no end in sight punched through his brain at once, all-encompassing one idea--stop them.

Every placating response he'd crafted fell to the wayside in a burst of strength as he ducked forward, not even feeling the ripping in his wounded leg as he hit Jordie with a kick to the crotch. He dropped straight ot hte ground with a loud curse. Michael punched, shifted and swung again at anyone who dared grab him, nknocking down three and throwing them behind him, getting closer to the stairwell. Three steps away.

But Pete was in between him and his goal, walking closer and raising a gun with two gangsters at his sides.

Michael roared and ran at him, splitting his lip back open in his desperate attempt to escape or die.

Then a hit from the boss's palm smacked into his forehead in a concussive strike that rattled his brain.

His consciousness blinked out momentarily and he awoke right before his head hit the ground, this time falling on his back.

"Well," Pete's boss smirked grimly as he sauntered toward Michael. "You just had to make this hard on yourself."

That was when Michael recognized the tattoo on his chest under the loose tank top. It was a very stylized version of the word "United". Michael had heard of the guy with this specific tattoo. This was Psycho, leader of the Westside Kids.

Michael blinked at him, trapped on the ground with Jordie's heavy boot on his chest. He was grinding the heel into his bruised ribs for good measure, probably enjoying Michael's winces of pain that he tried not to show.

He could've tried to fight, but that would mean another beat-down. Maybe broken bones this time.

His mind was fuzzy, but he remembered the thought process for tihs. They needed him to genuinely beg Morgan for help.

"Just--just--" Michael tried to speak, but the man carried such a powerful presence that his teeth chattered and he couldn't think, or breathe.

"We could have made this a bit less painful for you if you'd just cooperated, but you had to be a fuckin idiot."

Beg. They wanted him to beg.

Michael grimaced, knowing what that would do to him. Then he took a breath and said,

"Pleaes. Please, guys... I can't... Don't hurt me anymore." His voi e pitched upward.

And there it was--the flashback he knew was coming even as he thumped his aching leg on the ground to try to stay in the moment.

Most of what came back to him was the sound. The thunk of a piece of kindling hitting his legs hard enough to leave blackish bruises.

The words "if you run, you'll only make this worse."

The sound of teenage Michael's screaming, begging, the sound he was making right now as he knew they were going to strip him and do god-knows-what to him.

"Please, no, please, no," He was running his mouth like it would do him any good.

"Hey Pete," Psycho said, "You know that old cord I had you save from the AC?"

"Yeah." Pete's swollen eyes glinted coldly.

He crossed the room to rummage in a pile of junk behind Micael's cell.

"No," Michael's eyes were running freely with tears, equal to the shame he felt for crying in the first place. "Fucking please." His voice was cracking all over the place.

"Hey Jordie?" The boss said.

"Yeah?"

"Give 'im twenty."

Tag list:

@fleur-a-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @whumped-by-glitter @whump-writings @mimostic @tildeathiwillwrite

[tojiscrack]

Guess who found your fic on ao3 at 11pm, not noticing the 108k words on the bottom and got so hooked even by the half quarter of the first chapter that resulted in her staying awake until 10 am, reading all 108k words in one sitting. Yes me. Me, who got so hooked she read it all in one sitting. Me, who’s now so emotionally attached to this fic that she’s anxious about your comments under the chapters, stating that THE MAIN PLOT hasn’t even STARTED YET. Me, who knows DAMN WELL the little caterpillars and butterflies and the moths story Megumi and y/n read out is for sure foreshadowing. Me, who’s noticed several butterfly symbolism used over the course of the story. Me, who screamed into her pillow when it was stated that y/n’a dress resembled a butterfly. Me, who’s seen your comment replying to someone, stating that there MIGHT be some kind of drifting apart. Me, who’s well ware of the Heavy Angst tag on the fic. Me, who knows that an author who’s this good at delivering humor and fluff is gonna DESTROY me when the angst is gonna be written. Me, who half regrets now that she’s discovered the story because she’s scared of all that’s about to come.

You seriously have a way with words, dialogue, symbolism, humor, the bond between every character. It’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you SOMEHOW do it SO WELL. I’m just. God. All the thoughts I have on this fic would maybe even rival the 108k words you’ve written up until now but I don’t have the capacity to put them into words as well as you do.

just know that this fic impacted me so much, so badly, years from now on after it's finished, I'll still think about it and re-read it.

so excited (and scared as hell ngl) to see where you'll be going with this story. I may havw joined late but I am sticking around till the end.

love you, great work <3

liar, liar masterlist here:

yayyy, another ao3 reader 😫 welcome to the tumblr crew, i’m so glad you’re hereeee ❤️‍🩹

i had to go back and check whether it really is 108k words and i found myself shocked bc damn, i really wrote that much? 😭 if i put half the effort i put into this story into my essays instead, maybe i’d be a better student but we live and we learn ig 😬

“emotionally attached” to the fic is mind blowing to me 🥹 i didn’t know it’d have this big of an impact on someone but i can’t say i’m displeased. that’s one of the nicest things i’ve heard on here (among other things ofc). ugh, you’re so nice for sending a message on that 🩷

and yes, you are absolutely right. the main plot does not start until next chapter (or more accurately — in terms of drama — somewhere down the line AFTER that) 👀 idk which comment i said that on but i trust ur judgement ‘cause i remember mentioning that somewhere 😭 DON’T BE SCARED, IT’LL BE FUN (and thrilling and scary) BUT STILL 😊

the butterfly thing you mentioned is interesting, actually 🫢 maybe i just really like butterflies (even tho they scare the ever living shit out of me and i nearly killed a few in the london zoo YEARS ago as a child cuz i was fidgeting since they just let them roam free in that greenhouse thingy and i was scared for my life and dying of heat with the humidity?).

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN STALKING MY PAGE BC I DO REMEMBER SAYING SMTH ALONF THOSE LINES I JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE 😭 but i invite you to continue doing so bc i like watching my lovely little liars squirm and then send in their predictions and fear 😋 and this long, juicy message has me giggling to myself and REELING 🤭

yeah, but we’re not holding back on the heavy angst tag… er… buckle up? it’s gonna go downhill from here on out 😟

“you seriously have a way with words” — stop.

“it’s not so simple to put more than 5 characters in a setting and deal with them all while trying to make it as natural as possible but you somehow do it so well” — DOUBLE, TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE, INFINITY STOP OR I’LL CRY 🥹 no one has ever said that about my writing, and in fact, i hadn’t even noticed that myself 😭 i think i’m gonna levitate in glee ✨ to know it flows well enough for it to be commented on (out of ur own free will and not me pressing a gun to ur forehead), it’s just UGHHH so nice and sweet and i’m so glad you’ve joined the liar, liar community 😫 warmest welcome ml <3

gosh you’ve put this story on such a high pedestal, i’m almost scared i won’t be able to meet ur standards, even with everything planned beforehand 😟 but i’m willing to try. if you’re here for the super long ride (my updates are sporadic and will continue to be a such as the time goes on).

it was definitely not a LATE arrival per se — the liar, liar family is still pretty small. i’ve only got about 321 followers, so definitely not as much as the bigger jjk writers on here, and half of those are split between my megumi fic readers and levi fic readers. i now consider you an og just bc this analysis was so in depth and interesting, i found myself smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🙂‍↔️

but i love you SO much for this. i’d love to see more comments and messages from you. don’t be afraid to spam me if you must (in fact, i encourage it!!!) 😁 i get so giddy and excited and motivated when ppl send me their predictions. it’s one of the greatest things about writing (and the best part imo).

have a lovely day! and i can’t wait for you to see the next chapter and what i have in store for you <3

[metyouattherighttime]

review for short n sweet (first listen)!!

1- taste

hello im excited for jenna ortega in the mv and the song i couldnt hear cause i was brushing my teeth all i got was youll have to taste me when hes kissing you (will listen again) ok here i am again. 5 feet to be exact!!!! i feel the beginning is similar to fortnight like the slow start to build up is there a formula to album starters or something. or maybe its a formula for normal songwriting idk. but i like it!

2- please x3

absolute bop obvi

3- good graces

i wont give a fuck about you!! the song is a bop but uhm it wont stick in my mind omg this review in its entirety is so bad idk what im listening to the first time round. kinda repetitive ngl

4- sharpest tool

ok this is good. phone face down!! (me always)

5- coincidence

kinda country vibe w the acoustic guitar!!! and the background singers!! (youve lost all common sense, the whispers r everything) the bridge ate

ok wtf an ad 🙄

7- bed chem

ok my claimed track!!! manifest!!!!!! oooohhhh ok yes the weird intonation thing will absolutely stick in my head at some point LOL where art thou?? did she say that. or am i crazy idk anything without lyrics.. is she saying romeo in the background i have no idea. BOP

8- espresso

thats that me espresso ☕️ also track 8 is lowkey surprising cause why is it not like track 3 is jt because its eight letters

9- dumb & poetic

slowish song! i think the slow songs are where her voice rly stands out. wait there was like no beat drop or whatever did i miss it no right what its ok

CAN I JUST SAY WHY R THE SONGS ALL SO SHORT 😭😭😭😭

10- slim pickins

ooo another slowish somg! and guitar picking!! wait maybe a banjo actually. its giving eyes wide open vibes with grown up lyrics yk??? ok maybe ukulele too??? idk but strings are involved

11- juno

MY OTHER CLAIMED!! its so pop omg wait the beat is so fun. ooooo okok YES the ow! is yes!!! wait no i love this song shut up. its so like adorable but also idk because sabrina lyrics but ugh no the beat is cute. it reminds me of a song i heard in the car but idk what it is i think something by coldplay.. and like the fall in love part i feel like could be part of a kpop song?? yk??? i wonder why she chose juno and not hera is juno short?? no shes a god

12- lie to girls

this is a very sabrina style song like do you get me. ok the bridge is def gonna be so fun to sing!! i think im gonna have a hard time memorising the lyrics cause it repeats a lot of the same ohrases tho 😭 i like the outro ok maybe im just a sucker for guitar

13- dont smile

last track!!! ok synth. dr seuss but opposite LOL wait is it dr seuss quote i forgot like dont cry cause its over smile because it happened..??? OK BUT WHY IS THIS TJE LAST TRACK DOES SHE WANT ME TO CRY if u dont wanna cry to my music dont make me hate u prolifically ig

anyways last remarks from me. juno is my fave. espresso and please x3 are still bops and i also like slim pickins but bed chem may be inappropriate to sing in front of my parents i wont lie.. i liked sharpest tool tooand coincidence

ok yk what the ones that didnt hit for me this first listen are good graces, dumb & poetic, and dont smile

thanks bye let me know ur thoughts 😚😚😚💛💛💛💛

i hav to listen again to rly feel it so uhm take this review w a grain of salt because it will not be accurate to how i feel after a few lessons ok!!!!

[skz-streamer]

A Lost Cause -2/3-

<-Past - Next->

Pairing: Felix (skz) x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, slight smut?

Warnings: mentions of suicide, scarred wrist, pain, car crash, PTSD, abusive/toxic boyfriend, substances, abuse, bruising, crying, um... lmk if I missed anything else❤️

Notes: Finally!!! This chapter is a little shorter but it is a little more juicy ;) Im not sure when chap 3 will come out, possibly Thursday? Anyways I thought Hannah's new song fit this chapter pretty well, I tried to include some ocean vibes in there :)

Summary: After an abusive relationship you head to the bar for refuge...only to find yourself in another relationship, but is this one "A Lost Cause"?

-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people

Word count ~1.5k ;)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later

You walk out of the large glass doors, finally out of the hospital you think. You can only imagine how messy your apartment must be, the leftovers in the fridge, the unmade bed. It wasn’t a welcoming sight to envision, especially after your situation. You ended up getting discharged with a broken arm and some painkillers, not to bad…I mean it could’ve been worse. You brush your hand over your cast, your hand traces higher and higher up your arm.

Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your shoulder, even though it had been a week the nail marks that your ex had left in your shoulder were still there, small little scabs concealing a deep trauma inside. But then again there was him….Felix. To be honest what happend with him at the bar was a blur, so you decided to start new with him. He was a nice guy, well more then nice he was caring, sweet, compassionate, cute, loving…shit. You could’ve kept listing words that described him, but snapping you out of your trance was your ex. 

“Come here sweet cakes” he said, annoyed? You couldn’t tell the tone of his voice. How did he know you were out? And just as if he were reading your mind he spat out “ forgot I’m still your emergency contact?” Fuck, you were stuck with him as your ride back. Your car was absolutely totaled and had been sent to a junkyard, and you had no updates about insurance or money back. Everything was just piling up- “Get. In. The. Car” his words sent a shiver down your spine, you really really didn’t want to get into his stupid car with his dumbass self but…

It was a quiet drive home, infact too quiet. You had got in the car and he had turned on the radio. All that went through your mind was the repetitive words of ‘you’re his ex, and he’s yours’. Even though you were the one who broke up with him, were you the only one that felt pain? Was he really just a jerk? You sit on your couch. The only not cluttered place in your apartment. Maybe it would be nice to have a roommate, it was a random thought but at least there would be company. It was hard without your ex, you admitted it. In some way you felt like you needed him but no. You couldn’t go back to that relationship again. Ex means ex.

Trying to snap yourself out of your brain rotting thoughts you decide to go to bed, it’s only 8:00pm, which is quite early to sleep for you but you're tired as hell. Your messy bed welcomes your fragile figure as you lay down, letting the mattress pull you in. 

Your eyes snap open, the clock on your bedside table reads ‘5:00am’ shit. You had a feeling this would happen, sleep early and wake up early. You grabbed your phone giving up the thought of trying to go back to bed again, you had tried that already and it didn’t work. Like at all. Nothing was open at this time. Ugh what were you supposed to do now? You drag yourself out of bed and slug to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. You get your cast off in another week, it was kinda depressing to look at actually. Usually most casts would be decorated with hearts or names and even little messages, but yours was just a plain white. In fact it was starting to get a little gray around the edges. Maybe if you were with your ex he would’ve- the coffee pot loudly beeps interrupting your thoughts, goddd why were you so hung up over him?

You decide to go out for a walk, maybe some fresh air would be good for you, there is actually a really pretty bridge near your house. It overlooked the ocean. It was pretty nice in the morning, known for providing a beautiful view of sunrises and sunsets. You quickly change into a messy outfit, you just throw on some jean shorts and a tank top. You grab a jacket and head out, looking at yourself in the mirror for the first time in a while, you look different. It’s a cleaner look, smoother skin with no bruises or scratches ruining your skin. Your top perfectly showed the little inward curve your waist had, you didn’t have an ‘hourglass body’ but you were happy with what you had. 

Gladly the bridge was a walkable distance from your apartment, you still didn’t have a car. Gosh there were so many things to sort out. You really tried not to think about all of the things you needed to do…not to mention your job, you hoped you hadn’t lost that. All your worries were blown away as soon as you felt the cold breeze hit your hair. You loved the ocean, the idea that so much was hidden in it scared you and intrigued you at the same time. You felt inclined towards it. You continue to stroll down the bridge, the waves crashing against nearby rocks, the sounds of seagulls, it was all beautiful to you. 

Not looking where you’re walking you bump into someone, sending your coffee to spill all over yourself. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry” you stutter out. “No I should be sorry, look at yourself” he replies, it’s a familiar voice almost like Feli- you find yourself looking straight into his eyes. You had tried your very best to not think about him, especially since what happened in the hospital, it was a mistake. Mistake? That didn’t seem like the right word, maybe an accident? You didn’t mean to lunge at Felix after your ex left, but you felt safe with him, warm. 

Three days ago (Flashback)

Felix had been coming to see you every day since the day you were checked into the hospital, you werent sure why but it was nice to have some kind of company. - 

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear a knock on your door, “come in!” you say excitedly, hoping that its felix who is standing outside. And your hopes were right! Felix walks into your room sitting down on the chair next to your hospital bed, one hand behind his back. “SURPRISE!!!” Felix screams, louder then he expected to, making you jump a little. You giggle at his antics before looking down at what he was holding. Its a tiny rubber ducky, you look back up at him. He is smiling so much that there are little creases next to his eyes, you smile in response it was a silly gift, especially for someone your age but… it was cute, and it was sweet that he got you something in the first place. 

Felix gently holds your hand so that he could place the duck in your palm, gosh why were you getting so flustered… He closes your palm and pushes down, the rubber duck creates a little squeaking noise sending you and Felix both to a loud laughter. Felix wraps his hands around you, pulling you in for a hug. You could feel his rock hard chest flush against yours as he squeezed you into the hug harder, you practically melt into his chest as he starts rubbing small circles on your back.

Your laughs quickly turn into muffled sobs, in response he pulls you away and stares you straight in the eyes. You quickly sniff and try to wipe away your tears but he swiftly grabs your hands, pressing the into the soft mattress below. “Why?” is all you manage to whimper out, you werent sure what you were saying why to. To Felix and why he stayed with you for hours on end? To yourself for loosing a relationship with your ex? To your ex for treating you like shit? Why…why did it have to be you. You knew making connections with felix would be a lost cause but…

Felix removes his hands from your wrists now cupping your face, hes staring into your eyesbut your eyes are staring directly at his lips. His thumbs swipe over your cheeks, wiping off your fallen tears. “Whats there to cry for? Promise me you wont cry again…atleast not without a proper reason” he says, almost in a whisper like tone, trying to match yours from earlier. All you can do is nod in his hands, still focusing on his pretty pink lips. He notices that your eyes are somewhere else and pulls you in closer, you feel his hot breath against your face. Fuck it.

You smash your lips against his, catching Felix by surprise. You feel as he eases into the kiss, he slightly smiles tugging your bottom lip with his teeth. You wish you could stay like this forever, just the two of you. You really liked Felix, he was always there for you even though you barely knew him. Actually now that you think of it you didn't know anything about felix besides that he was a bartender. You wish you could know everything a bout him, you wished that you had met him instead of your dumbass ex. But i guess not, all you had was this one kiss.

Permanent tag list: @eee5533 @mixtape-racha @ot8skz-wifey

lmk if u wanna be added to the tag list ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[carmenized-onions]

Chap 13 STRAP ON IN MOTHERFUCKER

tumblr not notifying me of this WHEN I HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON is a crime, like be so fr rn

1. OMG FIRST MEET WITH MIKEY OH SHIT. was this inspired by napkins perchance?

2. i love the word ‘indulge’. you kinda went off when you invented the english language

3. unrelated to this but the age thing. it’s so funny that we were all shocked by mikey’s age when his best friend literally said “dude i think i’m 45 polishing forks”

4. Yoink!

5. it will be HER sandwich indeed🥺

6. MIDDLE-AGED i mean it’s true but dang you really did them like that,,

7. THE COFFEE MACHINEEE. BABYYY WE’RE GETTING ALL THE TIDBITS

8. the mirror to carmen broke my heart. also we get his pov of the *situation* now so im gonna be sick

9. UGHHH YOUR WRITING!!!!! >>>>>> it deffo feels like we’re in his head

10. every time you tried food for him - IM ACTUALLY CRYING SHUT UP

11. gary with the ‘ick’🥺🫶🏼🫶🏼

12. CARMEN ARE YOU NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT HOW HE WANTS WINE GIRL’S NUMBER

13. he cannot get it to smell like you again. - babyboyyy

14. He thought he didn’t want that? - 😭😭😭 BRING THEM BACK

15. You looked so good. You always look good. Better, in his clothes, but you always look good - BARK BARK BARK

16. It’s probably the onions from the broth making her tear up. - THE ONIONS👀

17. You’ve been out of Carmen’s life for 0ERR minutes. Yeah. That’s exactly how long it feels like. - YOOO YOU FUCKING KILLED WITH THIS

18. oop the thin line for the mikey / flashback parts !! we back. (or maybe it’s the same as it’s always been and i’m dumb) ALSO MARCUS<333 the bread guy💀 he IS the nicest

19. “My ears, kid.” - T🥹🥹🥹

20. ugh here we get to see chippy be such a nerd, no wonder her and squid are besties

21. Sometimes you think about asking if she needs you anymore. - clutching my chest

22. mikey calling her ‘kid’ is so accurate

23. OMG SHE WAS COOKING WITH THEM TOO🥺🥺🫶🏼

24. Like he can see the invisible snake coiling around Carmen. - oh you popped off onion

25. “Can we step out, for a second, Chef?” - OH FUCK

26. “You should reply!” - her being an angel to carmen before they even met i’m so🥺🥺🥺

27. “No, no— Oldest.” - REAL, or like only child but not in the spoiled way - in the had to be the mediator way cause they’re the only one there

28. Mikey is really good at being an older brother, you think. - mikey being a caring older brother figure to her is soooo cute

29. Did his mouth taste bad, every time he’d kiss you? Probably. - NOOO CHIPPY WANTS TO GIVE YOU ALL THE SMOOCHES - well not rn but hush

30. I just— I just made the—The only fuckin’ good thing in my life leave - STOP OMG THEIR LOVE IS EVERYTHING IM GONNA BITE AN XLR CABLE

31. “Heard and resented.” - RICHIE IS SO CUTE STOP chip and richie are my fave besties

32. “Want your coffee?” - I too would fold immediately

33. “Fucker.” - I LOVE THEM

34. He kisses your temple as you pass him, making an all too aggressive ‘muah’ noise - STOPPPP HE IS THE CUTEST GIRLDAD EVER I WANT TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND 😭😭😭

35. the syrups<3

36. “Cousin!” - okay bad timing but she called him cousin🥺

37. naloxone kit - i had to google this and OH SHIT

38. “You got her number, by chance?” - PUKE

39. I’ve had her number for three years, memorized - actually fuck it all, THEY are everything to me

40. I would be so fucking lucky, if a woman like that— - this had me crying, he’s so special to me actually

41. And he pivots his head, to speak very deliberately, to Carmen - man he’s just the best friend and guard dog

42. If fuckin’ only. If I had someone like that— I’d be on hand and fucking knee, for her. - biting into a pillow because oh my god ?? their friendship owns me

43. It also wouldn’t hurt to get your number, you’re perfect. - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

44. There’s a joke in here somewhere, and it’s probably Carmen. - STOP HURTING ME ONION THATS SO SAD

45. “I’d fucking kill him.” - are they talking about lee😁 cause go for it bestie!! kill that fucker

46. “Hard to speak in those rooms.” - he’s so intelligent and that just makes it all so much sadder

47. “I would’ve said something.” - So true but chip is a superior being so

48. Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’ - crying again. the way you write mikey is just unmatched. better than the show - *tamisha iman voice* I SAID WHAT I SAID

49. because you’re the guy, too. - this scene is so special and precious

50. “Like a nerd?” “Like a nerd.” - something about chip’s friendships with middle-aged men is so dear to me

51. There was this girl - her girlfriend!!

52. also love that we get to hear some of her addiction story🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and the way you handled it was beautiful❤️

53. “Oh don’t you point a finger when it comes to burying a fucking lead.” - GET HIS ASS

54. “Michael The Bear Berzatto, you have officially been sober for twenty-four hours.” - YOOO this is the cutest thing, them spending time together so he won’t - yeah:’)))

55. he’s still your guy - big brother🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 ugh like i *kinda* get why carmen was jealous cause it’s like mikey was SUCH a big brother to her that it makes sense that carmy would wonder why mikey couldn’t be that to *him* - his actual brother

56. “That’s what she said—” “Fucking gross!” - amazing

57. this chapter is fully like 7 chapter shoved into one worth of content and i love that

58. “[…]Don’t forget that. That we’re on the same team and I love you.” / “I’m not gonna forget you love me, Chip.” and neither of you know this is a lie, yet. - 🥺🥺🥺

59. “And I don’t want that shit for Chip, either—“ - he’s always protecting her 🥺🥺🫶🏼

60. “Cousin, what the fuck did I say to her?” / “You said she failed him.” - the tears are coming back. i’m really alice crying in wonderlanding this chapter

61. zero pulse - oh the throw backs

62. Mikey desperately trying to escape the freezer - I KNEEWWWW HE WAS STUCK IN IT AT SOME POINT. maybe you actually mentioned this in a chapter but !! anyways this wasn’t the way i imagined but this was better

63. YOU WROTE THIS SCENE SO SPLENDIDLY MY LOVE I AM IN AWE OF YOU

64. “Don’t open it.” - he’s trying so hard 🥺

65. “Because the last person that helped you just ran out crying.” - GET HIS ASS RICHIE!!!!

66. Thank you, for softening him up, because if you hadn’t, again, Carmen would be going headfirst through the fucking window right now. - love that

67. “You want me to take all my money, okay, and place it in a fucking furnace? Is that right?” - LMAO UNCLE JIMMY IS SO FUNNY

68. “So I’m sensing—” You curl your hand in the air. “A touch of hostility, which is fair.” - they’re so funny i just - also she sounds like squid, love that

69. No, the manager at Wells Fargo was. - OH???

70. “She could be my daughter!” - the chipxmikey allegations are dead🥳🥳 a win!

71. And I’m gonna bring Carmy on, and we’re gonna do like - omg this is better than canon🥺

72. it’s the blind leading the fucking blind. - you make the drama funny

73. “Every week that you keep going, that’s ten grand.” - JIMMY!!!

74. Fingers crossed he likes you - 💔💔💔 don’t do me like that😭😭😭

75. “If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” - ayo???🥺🥺🥺 (no pun intended)

76. “Can you stay after close?” - OH OH OH!!!!

77. no fucking idea where he’s been putting it - and she would not be able to guess it because that’s insane

78. It’d be more accurate of him to say he likes the sticky notes you tack on to each mug - she really is just the cutest ever

79. “I know. But I wanna prove I can, too.” - 🫶🏼

80. “Child incoming, no expletives please!” - EVA COMING!!!!! chippy being the gay aunt LETS GOOOO (also shout out richie for knowing big words)

81. “You’re gonna break your neck, Mike.” - can it just be this? the three of them? forever?

82. “I don’t wanna plan your funeral.” - YOOOOOOOOOO

83. A LITTLE PATOOT IS RIGHT

84. removing your hands from Eva, but then she holds them there. - i combusted🥹😭💕

85. kiss your cheek just short of a million times. “The perfect woman—” - hgnnh inlove them so muchhhhh. i need this to be in the show, WHERE IS CHIP IN CANON (i like to think that whenever we don’t know what richie or syd is up to they’re with chip:’))

86. “Not Italian!” is the synchronous reply from you and Mikey. - love this

87. Eva interrupts him, taking as much as a shining to you as she does her father. “Exp—Expultive!” She looks at you for approval and you nod in delight. - 😭🫶🏼💖😭🫶🏼💖😭🫶🏼💖

88. richie calls eva sweets!!!!!

89. “I want you to start talking to Carmen, when he comes back.” - their biggest believer besides me!!

90. “Cause you’re you.” - speechless

91. “Are you trying to hook me up right now?” “He’s a virgin, so it’s definitely not a good deal for you—” - IANDJDIEJEIEIEJEJEIRJFHRJ

92. “I just want you to be prepared for what you’re getting into, he gets performance anxiety so—” - aiaiwneoeneiwhrjrje?!?!!!

93. “Thank you! I ask for so little.” - this is just PEAK

94. He grabs the notepad and rips off the twenty seven points. - richie is so funny actually

95. deli containers of coke. - sniff sniff?👀

96. “Solve it hard and fast—” “Why hard—?” - BALEGDEH

97. Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder. - YOU GO RICHIE!!

98. “We know.” - that’s so cute!! he soft launched their relationship without knowing

99. Carmen’s gonna do right by you, for the rest of his life. - ONION🥹🥹😭😭

100. He’s gonna be your man - *in the arms of the angel🎶🕊️*

101. When he knew you’d be out of the city. - that is so heartbreaking and i’m crying again

102. Maybe Carmen will figure it out. It’s meant for him anyways. - i mean technically i already knew this, but it’s so sweet to see it written anyways

103. With his three month sobriety chip hanging off of it.  - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

104. “Nephew didn’t take a liking to you?” - STOP YOU CANT BE THIS FUNNY WHEN THE CHAPTER IS THIS TRAGIC

105. My best friend died on February 22nd. On the State Street Bridge - and the tears are rolling

106. “Go inside, soon. Come home.” / “I will” - crying again

107. MICHAEL FUCKING SAW HER

108. Wells-Fargo will ask if you want to close your account. - ohhh that’s why they asked about the baby

109. Next time you’ll think of everything, next time you won’t fail. - chiiiip🥺

110. You will go, and you will sit on the curb across from the church, and you will not go inside. - THE MIRRORING OF HER AND CARMY UGHH IT’S SO POWERFUL

111. You will stare at the little stuffed bear, the roses, the picture frame of him, and you will finally say it aloud. - more crying

112. When Carmen shows up, two hours later, not honestly that long after you finally left, he will add a bouquet and a prayer candle - they’re so meant to be and just ugh these moments are so special

113. “Guys I— Guys I don’t know how to run bar, and I don’t think I should’ve been trusted, with this.” - LMFAO

114. “I’m gonna fix it.” Carmen will tell you -🥺 i’m soft🥺

115. No more fucking shoes, because it's all out now. -😭💖

116. It’s not negotiable. - YOOOOOO THE MIC DROP AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER YOU FUCJING ATEEEEEEE THIS AND THEN SOME

I think you’ve gotta be crowned for longest ask? I believe you’re currently number one fan of the blog (like in terms of the literal activity stats), so perhaps that’s enough of a reward. 

LETS STRAP ON IN I MEAN I won’t respond to every point because that would be insane but let’s GO

We’ve messaged about it hhehehe BUT FOR THE CLASS!! Had the intro planned pre-napkins!! Slash this whole chapter. I was very much going off of Fishes for my flashback inspo but then they gifted me Napkins and I got to YOINK that scene like Mikey yoinked that sandwich. and for that Mr Storer and Ayo I thank u

THE AGE THING LISTEN I NEED TO REWATCH FORKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT RICHIE SAID 40 NOT 45— It’s WHY I was so shocked about Mikey being 43— I shouldn’t have been, it’s only 3 years, but in my minds eye I was like “well surely they’re the same age, they give ‘went to highschool together’ energy because when the fuck else would you meet— But I can’t remember a single freshman I STAYED friends with in both high school AND college for that matter so WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

Writing in Carmen’s head for Friday was so fucking fun. No wonder they make him freak so much in S3 it’s just FUN TO MAKE HIM SQUEAK. Also man idk if I ever have the best grip on Gary/Sweeps but I felt like bro HAD to be thinking “what? You want the number of the kitchen princess? The personality hire that also actually does things here? I’m going to threw up.”

Carmen spiral being very sweet as he actively ignores the elephant of his EC being a creep,,,, ohhhhhhh babbyyyyy highway to the DANGERzone. I really felt like that moment was simply “I literally cannot process this information so I’m just not going to”

THE THIN ASS LINES!! They’re the same colours as before (though I did debate changing them, I couldn’t think of a colour scheme that would suite Mikey/Chip’s flashbacks better, but maybe I’ll ninja edit and change them in the future, we’ll see.)

Chip was/is SUCH a nerd I loved writing her back when she was in Syd’s position of being completely new to this family and needing to integrate (YOU’RE NOT INTEGRATED IN THE DREAM WEAVE!!!)… ahhhh

100% Chip could also be an only child i see that in a million ways, A MEDIATOR FOR SURE!! I think any childhood dynamic could work for her honestly, I made her a baby truly for the sake of representing the other babies out there like me— WE ALSO ARE DEPENDABLE!! WE CAN BE DA ROCK TOO!! And I honestly think Carmen needs someone who was a baby sibling in his life. Babies work very well together. 

BITING AN XLR CABLE IS SUCH A SPECIFIC FEELINFDKNVJFD been there. How many times have I hung an XLR around my neck? Too many times (for convenience I swear!!) (those equipment hauls SUCK ALRIGHT!!)

Girldad big brother Rich !! My beloved!! I love that after the naloxone scene comes Richie’s “I’ve had her number for three years, memorized— You know why?” — He never actually gets to say why— And is it cause they’re besties? Yes 100%, but it’s also BECAUSE OF THE NALOXONE SCENE!! Chip was absolutely his borderline emerg contact for awhile. I absolutely headcanon he considered calling her when he went to prison. That would’ve been his version of Syd calling her during opening night. Her two besties KNOW Chip is the most dependable person they know (My legacy is to be an excellent emergency contact !! aah shit)

Mikey does the same shit Chip did with Lee/Carmen!! Tried to justify/critically think through the emotions of the other people/person in order to emotionally recover!! CAUSE THEY’RE BOTH THE GUY I’M SICK. IM WRETCHING. CHIP AND HER SUPPORT MIDDLE AGED MEN DOGS ARE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

BETTER THAN THE SHOWOWWJLFKJSF I try I try. I really do hope I was on point with my Mikey characterization, because I do think if he had a chance to be vulnerable this is how he WOULD speak because it’s VERY clear in his episodes that he’s extremely emotionally intelligent, and like a fucking sniper, I see me in him and him in me and i can TELL that motherfucker is doing it on purpose. FUCK. He knows what he needs to be for people! And he knows he does it for people! We always know! We always fuckin’ know! We’re the guy on purpose!!

Her girlfriend!!!!!!!! There’s nothing to this point besides her GIRLFRIEND!!

It compLEETTEELYY makes sense for Carmen to be jealous of Chip for being so close with Mikey— But I think the thing that he’s started to realize— Is that yes 100% Chip got to be Mikey’s guy when Carmen didn’t, but Chip very specifically got those last two extremely turbulent two years, like it was NOT all good. The only memories Carmen has of Mikey are either positive or ruined purely by the rest of his family— HE never had to see Mikey go through HALF the shit that Richie/Chip saw him go through, and I think he’s realized, Oh I don’t have legitimate reason to be mad over a time that literally was not even that fun

Richie’s always protecting her!!! Fully prioritized her!! Parking lot scene softened the shit out of Richie for this fight honestly because after crying with Chip he managed to realize “oh yeah Carmen’s just a fuckhead. He’s wrong about everything he said. I’m going to go kill him to avenge you now.” love him. Love him love him.

There’s a shocking amount of title throwbacks in this one, I can’t remember, but if you keyword search you might find a couple. Zero Pulse, Doing too much I know is in here. Something to do, obviously. Tony Terry Or Tommy, not exact title but that’s here. Some version of do the thing is in here. Easter eggs? Yeah let’s call them easter eggs. 

MIKEY IN THE FREEZZEERR It’s referenced in the first chap (which I imagine you caught on your reread, and in Chap12) but like you said, I think both times I worded it in such a way where it was like, oh he got stuck the same way Carmen did— nononono I DID SOMETHING WAY MORE FUCKED UP!! That trio was trying so hard man. I love them as a trio, I never wanted to stop writing for them.

Put my money in a furnace you say? I’m in. (Uncle Jimmy to both of his nephews 1 million times)

Chipxmikey the ship has drowned. The ship has careened into the ocean. The ship is getting visitors from billionaires in a barely functioning submarine. The ship just killed the submarine. 

AYOOOOO If that’s what a star takes I don’t want it— BITCH. MAKEOUT!

The sticky notes on the mugs!! And they end up being the sticky notes in his ICE folder!! The ones that Carmen loses his shit over!! Fucker feels real bad now, I bet. 

Eva’s whole moment is inspired by my co-workers kid who immediately upon meeting me and finding out I know what Sanrio is— Fell head over heels for me as a best friend. Fully kept asking me to come out of the office to watch her do backflips and then ask if I could do that, and I went “Honestly no but I think I can kind of almost a little bit do the splits”

I SO WISH CHIP WAS IN CANON MAN,, SYD AND RICHIE CLEARLY NEED A PERSON— I know inevitably their person will likely end up being each other, but like, Chip is so good for both of them. Made me so sad when either of them were lonely in S3 cause I was like baby. Your Work Wife is just offscreen. Just look over there she’s right there man what do you mean she’s not canon

Mikey shipped CarmTony before it was cool. ALSO CAUSE YOU’RE YOU is one of my favourites. I think Tony says it to Chip first at one point, and then he says it back to her in Doing too Much, ahhhh houston the house boottts

TOO MANY PEOPLE FREAKED OVER THE PERFORMANCE ANXIETY— LISTEN I DONT THINK MIKEY KNOWS HIM LIKE THAT BUT LIKE CLEARLY CARMEN GETS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY IN EVERYTHING HE DOES ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT???

I love going from “I ask for so little” to Richie/Syd asking Carmen to completely 180 his entire life in a week. Like that’s so fucking funny to me. As is “oh Good” and TEARING off the list lmao

We cANT MAKE COKE JOKES IN THE SOBRIETY CHAPTER!!! This one did slip by me though honestly I had to fucking change coke to Diet Coke in the intro of Zero Pulse to make it clear that Carmen did not fall asleep on his couch covered in chip dust and cocaine. Or did he…

Chip thought she was so slick soft launching with the jacket when Carmen did it immediately by accident. 

This whole final scene I’ll try to condense down into one point because if I don’t we’ll all go insane listening to me fucking yap again about it. But MIKEY SAW HER MAN!!! This last call sucks so much because he’s STILL the fucking guy in it. He’s still making sure she and everyone else are okay and trying to make her laugh with the nephew thing DESPITE the fact that he’s got a clear plan— i’m soooo—- I’m gonna reach into heaven and beat MB’s ass. 

The mirroring of their mourning!! Hell!!! I imagine they drove past each other not knowing the other was doing the same shit. How fucking different would their lives be if they overlapped at that vigil man i’m ill

HE’S GONNA FIX IT!!!! IT’S NOT NEGOTIABLE!!!! ALSO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP FAK RUN BAR HE’S FUCKING DYING!!!!

Thank you for these thoughts as always, can’t wait to see what you think about my bullshit with Chapter 14. YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT. I THINK. I HOPE.

I literally had to take the numbers off this because the block was so long tumblr would not let me post it. this has never happened before JESUS CHRIST

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Do you think Beth really believed Rio was coming after them after the truck thing in 1.09? I always just assumed she was jumping to conclusions and was so far out of her depth ("He looked at me funny"), but was there something else to it? Did she really want to take him down deep down?

Hi Anon! Thank you for the ask! Idk if I have a super good answer though. I’ve always considered this scene more based on the mistakes Rio made in underestimating Beth’s reaction. IDK why I haven’t thought more in-depth about why she behaved the way she did.

Unless I’m misremembering, everything in that episode showed her anger, and none of her actions around Rio signified fear. I don’t think she was even jumping to conclusions about what he might do to them. I think she was just mad. Yet another man putting her in her place, taking away her power and her financial “security” because he decided her life for her. So she retaliated. Her “we’re good people” excuse was just a cover to get her girls on board. It’s the line she uses all the time to manipulate people (including Rio.) “I’m a good person. I’m a mother. I eat at P. F. Chang’s.”

The fact that this woman can never think through the consequences of her choices surrounding Rio truly astounds me. She cannot be so stupid to blindly lash out and expect nothing to happen to her. I’ve been kind of thinking about this irritating aspect of her behavior. The ways in which she hurts Rio over and over, even once she sees the actual hurt on him, she doesn’t stop. Contrast that with how she enables Dean over and over, who has a proven track record of lying to her and actively harming her. So it makes so little sense why she would lash out, even contrary to her own wellbeing, in this particular situation. She couldn’t have expected that he would be imprisoned forever just because she gave up some laundering details. So what then? Was it a cry for his attention? A cry to be seen? It’s gotta be. Her nihilistic tendencies come through so strong around Rio. He brings it out in her. So it’s like she doesn’t even care what happens to her, as long as he keeps looking at her, as long as she’s feeling that power he makes her feel.

Which brings us back to what was so polarizing about Beth to so many viewers — she’s selfish af. She doesn’t want to be. She’s torn. She keeps thinking if she just does one more shitty thing to Rio, she will prove her goodness to the universe. Prove that she’s worthy of having a husband who’s faithful, and children who don’t struggle with emotional disorders, and friends who choose her even over their own husbands. This woman has been abandoned and scarred so deeply in her formative years that she’s absolutely desperate to matter and to be chosen. (Kinda like someone else we know.) But Rio seems to be her one “safe space” to be herself. “Just being myself.” And while that may sound romantic (and it IS), it’s also toxic af because for her to be “herself” she has to all the time behave abusively (ugh, I hate that word because it isn’t quite accurate to their dynamic but idk what other thing to call it… maybe retaliatory?) toward Rio. He feeds the monster that she hides from others. He isn’t a “good person” so it’s fine for her to take her trauma out on him. And he keeps coming back for more. And he keeps wanting her despite it. It’s that good old cycle of abuse, continually perpetuated. They find so much warped validation in each other they can’t quit.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent. Sorry about that! These asks are so helpful in getting me back into a Brio state of mind. Reminds me how I love analyzing them. 😊 Makes me wanna not work and write Brio stories (that I’ve been stagnant on for like 2 months now 😩)

[evansbby]

So I'd like to take the opportunity to continue of the first time anal ask

Steve convinces reader to let him put it up her ass but she feels like she'll be more comfortable with just the tip and Steve agrees then but then he is balls deep inside her.

Ok I can see her crying about how he promised that he'll not do that and it hurts but Steve is all smug and Gaslights her going like it's just the tip baby , I'm just too big so his tip might be too much for her and then goes like baby ur baby cunt has never had someone as big as him that's the reason she thought he bottomed out😭

Then after her few more whines Steve would deff say weren't u the one who told me not to put it up ur pussy so why all the whining now😵‍💫😵‍💫 then be like is that what u want baby me to fuck u in that pussy and force her to say this.....or elese he'll now *genuinely* put his whole dick inside her...ya do u want that baby...no right... because that's gonna hurt so much more...and deff punctuate his sentence with a hard thurst...(I don't see him being soft on her he gives strict daddyyy vibes)....and when she does he'd fuck her raw in that pussy😵‍💫 and alternate between her ass and cunt.........askajakjakajkkkkkk....

he'd deff finish inside her ass to you know mark her up

And then I can see him eating her (ass)out from the back as a reward for being such a good girl

This guy is evil so I also feel like he'll make a comment about her whining and maybe that's why Ari didn't make her his girlfriend 😭😭 but then he'll compensate by saying Don't worry baby I'm gonna take u on a date ya is that what u want.....I think for that I need to fuck u raw👁️👄👁️

And let our girl have a date bro common even if it's to get on Ari's nerves let her have her 1 date

(I'm so truned in right now , I'm gonna go read wg! Part 1 the smut was out of the world )

Oh my gosh bestie, why is wicked games!Steve morphing into poyt!Steve with the “just the tip” part 😭😭😂😂

And look I’d love to tell you if this is accurate or not, or what Steve would actually do in this situation but Steve is a mystery and we won’t know what he’s properly like until part 3 of wicked games!

But this was so hot and ugh him alternating between her ass and her pussy??? AHHHH POOR BABY READER 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[ethernetmeep]

attended graduation. surprisingly cried less than i was anticipating, at least during the event. cried a bit afterwards, mix of realization & fear of not being able to get home safely. i did, luckily… my mother eventually came. wore a suit & tie, specifically the tie my friend gifted to me. heated up like a car in front of the sun. brought a drink since i knew if i didnt id maybe faint because of heat exhaustion. more likely nausea.

sat with an acquaintance, rambled to her. felt sick during most of the ceremony. almost puked, uh… three times. nerves hit like a brick wall. literally. nauseous because of nervousness. wanted to yell & holler but i dont have the voice for that. simple quiet ‘yay’ syllables had to suffice. brought sheldon & wiffle & chiquitito. gave chiquitito a bath before i left. got ready an hour or so early. sat outside & looked at birds in the meantime

in an ideal world i am very smart & funny & talented & talk to everyone & perfect. in an ideal world i dont get so worried my body physically shuts down. in an ideal world, i would be able to say something as simple as, “oh my gosh, i’m so happy for you! take care!” without bile festering. i try to live in this ideal world, try to be the best i can, but ive learned this is really really hard for me to do because frankly i am quite stupid. i know this is a haha funny joke 70% of the time but if i actually start gagging on nothing i know it’s probably a bad sign and i should stop overworking myself lest i actually do puke. it would not be very appealing to throw up in front of a plethora of my peers & their families. god…..

don’t even.. don’t.

[head in hands]

fine. FOR THE SAKE OF JOURNALISM! nothing else.

“I FUCKING— I HATE THEM. SO MUCH. I’M SORRY, I KNOW THATS MEAN—“

mother & other party member: “ITS NOT MEAN.”

[still reeling from remnants of stomach acid (as i did not eat anything in the morning when i took my meds which probably doesnt help this, although i didnt wanna eat then puke up whatever food it was i ate there either)] “I’M JUST— UGH! I’M SO FUCKING, I’M SO MAD.”

snippet of conversation. back seat with extra space just because. emotional & still nauseous. almost cry on the way home because of these weird things called human emotions, tears only well up; don’t actually fall. ramble to a man who knows a lot of people. miscellaneous conversations follow, like the one where i ask him if he can do anything about my favorite teacher being laid off. he says he’ll try. he…. how do i say this… knows… many individuals…. hes nice, slowly grown more used to his presence. i think if i cried with tears and snot long enough he’d be able to do many things, which is crazy & absurd but genuinely accurate. scarily accurate.

home, sitting outside & watching birds feed from the bird feeder. emptied it while i was gone. northern flicker, blue jay, blue-capped chickadee, common grackle, tufted titmouse… a wide variety. sprinkle some seeds on the ground for both squirrels & robins since they seem to not use the bird feeder much. robin right in front of me now, actually [was when i was typing this sentence]

i only made one note / doodle in my notebook during the event, but with words written & context applied its maybe better i don’t share it. saying…. heated words….. from a person that dislikes being rude unless someone is genuinely vile, is not as vague as one thinks they are. still, its pretty funny to imagine me being violent… slap thing was genuinely the first time i ever put my hands on someone like that

anyway, now theres three grackles near my bird feeder. two underneath. they’re so cute its almost upsetting, except its not. its quite nice to feel less alone

something something hi there something something oh hey i said everything now. i should probably lay down before my stomach gets worse

really happy i went, though. wouldn’t miss it for the world

[stayxlix]

I've been saving off the deep end to read once I had a break between exams

BRUH THAT STORYYYYYYY!! Pls don't mind my analysis and play-by-play reactions😩

You're writing style is so good I love the descriptions and how you manage to make everything so vivid. District 7's description was so on point, I really like how I could visualize it.... The tavern, the roads, the forests, the people...

"Cold rings on his fingers pressed into bare skin" goodbye I'd fold so fast✋✋✋ like yes he's a stranger but BRO

"He hesitantly brought his thumb up to run it over your bottom lip," I- 😀

I'm barely 2k into this story and already feeling a scream creeping up my throat.

"Without another word or giving you the chance to respond, he turned to go." Now excuse me dear sir✋ Get your outer district ass back here👹

How are you gonna make out w/ me then just dip💀 survival ig but STILL

"....so many eyes on you, permanently associating you with your father and his regime," SO WELL WRITTEN UGH CHEF'S KISS

I love the mc (main character) so much. They've won my favour so fast, uncharacteristically so. This is the kind of 'y/n' that we need to see more often! The change, the hero.

"A life with him certainly wouldn't involve tight corsets and suffocating lies." How are we so sure about the latter sweetie👀

But mc is better than me I'd probably be going there (district 7) every night in hopes of seeing him. But the chances are low considering he was on the run😔 Rational thinking ftw I guess?

"He had probably already forgotten about you." NAURRR😭 (I could never be this mature... To admit this to myself in such a situation? Nope)

"...followed by the glass walls of the hall shattering to pieces around you." Ok THIS PART IN THE STORY✋ Loveeee the build up of tension. I feel like I'm there omg.

"six..seven..maybe eight figures dressed in all black with bandana...." OOOH👀👀👀 !!! STRAY KISS WOO

"a group of your father's guards run up and make contact with the boys, tossing a couple of them their own guns."😨 HUH? OMG WHAT???? Betrayal of the century purrr😻

"The boy who had kissed you in the alley two weeks ago." GOODBYE CBFNFNFBFV

I should've seen this coming butt I'm FLABBERGASTED

Let's goooo😩😩✋ Also thank you for making it brown hair Felix, like THANK YOU😋 (btw this ask is so long sorryyyy)

"You swear you saw the faintest hint of a smirk... " OFFICIALLY HOLLERING RN AARGHHHH

No bc I hope he kidnaps mc😘 and Jisoo ofc😻 let's go live in the trenches 😋

NO the guards ruined it😒 Can they duck off istg

"Were you protecting him? " Dgfhgkhmkdxnh

"You mouthed "go" and if you had blinked you would have missed the nod he gave you in return." I need a minute🤒 A longgggg minute to process this

"Why would the boys risk their lives to send a message? " THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SKZ HELP

Like that's LITERALLY THEM

"As far as he knew, you were just like the rest of them." Bro this story is INTENSE

On that more I will be leaving for now, I need to eat and process this story before continuing it is so bloody good

Again, I'm so sorry for how long this is

omg so i just want to start by saying that from the bottom of my heart i am so touched by this. i seriously think i re-read it at least 7 times and i can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you took the time out of your day to go through and immerse yourself into the story the way you did.😭💕 the play-by-play literally had me giggling to myself like a CHILD lmao you’re actually so funny like i wish i could hire you to narrate my life.😂

this is the first/only fic i’ve ever written and you complimented some of the parts i was most insecure about without even knowing it and i just. thank you.🥹💕 like your comment about the mc i could actually cry. and it’s always nice to find another dark hair felix stan because as much as i love the blonde (and i really do) i just couldn’t imagine him any other way here.

please don’t ever feel the need to apologize for how much you write this is what i LIVE for and it gives me so much motivation to continue the story. you could write an entire novel and i would happily sit down and read every single word.😊 i hope you got something good to eat (and that your exams went well) and i hope the rest of your day/night has been just as good as this made mine.💕💕💕