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jeonjeonggukenergy · 4 years

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Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #fic: anti-hero #anti-hero #anti hero

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weeb-writor · 4 years

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Bakugou’s S/O dies in a crash, leaving him a single father

Hello, gonna be very honest I forgot how to read properly and read a request wrong and wrote a 3000 word fic for it, woohoo! But i mean at least you guys get a fic from it, lol. Italics are flashbacks, bold is reality trying to pull him out of his head, and the regular text is reality. The actual request should be up tomorrow. Reader is neutral and I didn't specify the birthing process! Hope you all enjoy.

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Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Bakugou’s S/O dies in a crash leaving him a single dad, he has flashes backs of your life together.

TW: Death, depiction of a car crash and blood. Kinde heavy angst

Words: 3052

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“I am so sorry sir but there's nothing we could do for them, w-” The doctor went on but the words slurred together in Bakugou's mind. This isn't how it was supposed to go, you were both supposed to grow old together. Supposed to send Kaori to her first day of school together. To bully the shit out of her first significant other. Go all out on each and every one of her birthdays. To give her at least 3 more brats to hang out with...to cry as you sent her off to college. This isn't how it was supposed to go, he was supposed to protect you, to be your hero. Everything you both had promised to each other was slipping through his grasped fist and the flashbacks were not helping either.

“Watch where you are going, Pomeranian.” You said to him.

“Pomeranian? The fuck, watch your mouth shitty extra!” He roared back at you.

“I think you’re the one who needs soap in his mouth, you're cursing every other word.” You cocked a brow at him.

“Whatever you god damn extra, get outta my way i'm gonna be late.” He backed off shocking his small group of friends.

“What the heck bakubro! If I said that to you I would be dead! You’re caught by the balls already!” Denki said pouting

“Whaddyah just say dunce face? I am not and it doesn't matter. I went easy cause they're so insignificant I wont see them again.” He said with a shrug as they walked into the training yard where their class was meeting.

“Alright, today we have a few helpers from other classes to help you with physical combat skills without the use of your quirks. Pair up with them, if you can actually beat them the first go than you pass. If you don’t, then well you fail, and will do supplementary training with me after every class.” Aizawa said, zipping himself into his sleeping bag.

“Hello class 1-A, Im Y/N. I am in charge of everybody you're about to fight, we've all trained in various types of Martial arts, and uhh you're probably all gonna lose but try your hardest alright?! I've got match-ups based on your physical abilities, so let's begin.” You said getting everyone into their pairs.

“So much for never seeing them again, huh?” Sero said laughing at the fuming bakugou.

“Yeah you’ll be seeing a lot more of me Pomeranian boy, but for now let me wipe the floor with you.” You said getting into a fighting position. He remembers how he lost that fight, terribly he might add. You only offered to help him after the loss, ignoring all his cries of protest. He didn't only lose the fist fight, he lost his heart to you. He had hoped you would never give it back to him, but here you are giving him his heart back. He hated these images, he wants them to stop.

“Bakugou”

“Go on a date with me.” You said as you and bakugou walked back to the dorms together after a sparring session.

“What!?” He yelled at you a deep shade of red.

“You know, on a date, and then you know if all goes well like 2 more before you kiss me and ask me to be officially yours because i'm not easy, you know?”

“Who asks like that!” He continued to yell.

“What did you want some flowers too, bakugou.” You giggled at him.

“You damn, dumbass! Fine but we're going now!” He said grabbing your hand and pulling you away.

“Wait but we are sweaty and I wanted to look nice! You're such a tyrant, Bakugou!” You sang as he pulled you away but slammed into his back as he came to a halting stop.

“Katsuki...call me Katsuki.” He said looking to the side with a blush. This moment was precious to him, your stupid giggle always brought brought blood rushing to his cheeks and made his heart race. As precious as it was, he begged his mind to stop, he didn't want to see what he couldn't have anymore… he wants to forget.

“Bakugou!”

“You know, if i knew you were so messy I wouldn't have moved in with you.” Bakugou yelled to you as he put up one of your many blankets that were always littered around the house.

“Sorry not Sorry, Kat, it's your fault for keeping this damn house like an ice box all the time.” You said as you shoved some more takeout into your mouth.

“And why did you order takeout, i wanted to cook instead of eating that shitty and so unhealthy food.” He nagged you some more but you only giggled. He smiled, that had become his favorite sound.

“Because Mr. Pro- Hero some of us are college students barely staying afloat! It's my last semester so let me live, you ass! Also you are so much like your mother babe, it's kind of funny.” You said to him. His head was bulging in irritation as he sat next to you.

“I can't believe I want to marry you…” He said shaking his head with a sigh. You put down your takeout and stared at him with wide, teary eyes.

“You want to marry… me?” You said to him, he chucked at you before placing a black velvet box in your hand.

“Yeah, so say yes and put the ring on.” He blushed looking away from you.

“You jerk, this is how you ask me? And like an idiot of course I'm putting on the ring with no hesitation.” You giggled around your tears, admiring the ring you had just placed on your finger.

“Yeah, as I recall, you asked me out the same way. Whaddyah want some flowers?” He teased you with a grin. You looked at him with burning passion before your lips met, engaging in a fiery dance of passion. Stop, stop. Please just stop, he begged his brain. At the moment he thought it was perfect, it was so you and so him. Now, he wished he did it on tv or yelled it from the rooftops. Maybe then it would have shown the universe, or god, or whatever was taking him from you just how much he needed and loved you. Just maybe it would have permitted this outcome.

“Bakugou!!”

You and bakugou stared down at the little 6 pound baby. She was sleeping peacefully for the first time since the girl came home, which was 4 day ago! Maybe it was because you had just taken her to meet her grandparents and she didn't want to deal with her grandparents much like her father.

“Give me that baby!” his mom said swopping the baby into her hands. You only giggled at her excitement but Bakugou threw a fit.

“Mom! She's a fuc-freaking newborn! You’ve got to be gentle and support her head! You’re gonna hurt her, it's dangerous” He shouted at his mom.

“Oh hush you ingrate. If that was true believe me kid you’d be dead by now, would've saved me a lot of trouble. Now come on little Kaori, I know you've got it.” She said looking down at Kaori.

“What's she got?” You asked curiously. The blonde did not respond, only blew a little stream of air on the baby's nose and then turned her towards you and the blonde next to you who was still pouting. The baby stirred before waking up giving you all the meanest mug you had ever seen come from a baby. She stared at bakugou and then at you before going back to sleep.

“She’s got the bakugou bitch face or the bakugou glare or even the bakugou mean mug. However you want to call it but that doesn't matter cause she’s got it.” His mom said placing the sleeping baby in the basinet you guys had brought.

“Did that brat just glare at me!?” Bakugou whispers, causing you to burst into full belly laughter.

“What the hell are you laughing at?” he said to you trying to hide his small smile that was brought out by your laughing.

“Nothing, I just love you and I believe you just said H-E double hockey sticks so we're getting takeout on the way home, love.” You said kissing his cheek. He only stuck his tongue out at you before mumbling a quick ‘i love you back’. It's getting more painful now he's drawing closer to the day he knew his mind was counting down to. As much as he wanted to relish in the memory all he could think of was how Kaori wouldn't remember you or your melodious laughing. How he should have said I love you more clearly in that moment. He wanted it to stop, he wanted the flashes to stop, the memories to stop but they wouldn't and he knew because they were telling your story.

“BAKUGOU!!”

“Come here, dumbass I wanna cuddle!” Bakugou yelled from your bed.

“Hold on I just wanna call your mom and make sure Kaori is okay. It's the first time Kaori has been away so long. She’s only eleven months, she's probably scared without us.” You said with the phone in your hand pacing.

“Babe, if you are so worried you should know I called my mom while you were bathing. Kaori is chasings around my mom's fat cat. And my moms gonna call when they are putting her to bed so we can say goodnight. Now, get over here and quit worrying I want to cuddle you.” He said finally getting you relax enough to lay down, you rested your head on his chest.

“You're such a good dad, you were worried enough to phone your mom.” You said breathing in his caramel scent.

“Of course I did, I worry about you and Kaori whenever yall are out of my sight. I love you both too much yet not enough at the same time.” He said to you kissing the top of your head.

“Katsuki I want us to always be this way, I want to always be with you and kaori smiling. I love you both too much too.” You said back to him straddling him to meet his eyes.

“I want some more brats and a cat and a dog. I want everything with you. And I want it for forever” He said looking up at you with passion. He needs it to stop, he can't relive the same nightmare. He didn't want the image of you dying in his hands to replay, but that's where his mind was heading, wasn't it?

“Bakugou!? Can you hear me!?”

“You know when people said you become boring when you have a baby I didn't believe them but were totally boring. We just did 10 over the speed limit to pick up Kaori.” You said taking a glance in the mirror to see her cute little grumpy face.

“Baby I realized we were boring when we went to that baby store on our day off to look at baby stuff and we went “ ohh” and “awhh” to every third object we saw.” He said back to you with a chuckle. You giggled at him and your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, it was a second too long because when you opened them you slammed into a car ahead of you that had just been in an accident causing a pile up. Behind you a semi rammed into your suv doing terrible damage to the car and everyone inside. Bakugou was the first to wake and quickly fought to get himself free. Once he did he was all over you but you were in far worse shape and the metal of the car dug into you, slicing you open, and locking you into place.

“Noo.. Kat get Kaori first.” you whispered to him.

“Y/N, i'll get you out first, you're right here. Then we’ll get kaori together.” He said tears spilling from his eyes.

“Katsuki, please get Kaori first. Please, i'll try to get loose myself” You plead with him, he thought about it but you were more stuck than her and you were bleeding heavily from the metal cutting into your abdomen.

“Katsuki Bakugou! Her first, then me! I’ll wait for you, promise.” That was all he needed to hear, his heart ached for his little girl who was crying softly more shocked than hurt.

“It's alright baby we're gonna get you safety and then dadas gonna come get mommy and we’ll all go home cuddle.” He said as he pulled the baby from her car seat, recognizing ‘home’ and ‘cuddle’ she clapped at him. He planted gross, wet kisses all over her face before dashing to the place where he saw all the flashing lights congregating. It was a pretty big pile up so there were a lot of ambulances. He took the first one open.

“This is Bakugou Kaori, she’s eleven months and has no allergies to anything or any medication. I'll be coming back with Bakugou y/n who has a pretty deep gash in their abdomen and isn't allergic to any medication either.” He said as the EMT took his baby from him. He almost didn't want to leave her but he knew you were waiting on him, so he dashed back to your totaled car where he saw people crowding your figure as they had just pulled you out.

“Y/N!” He said dropping to the ground taking you from the girl who was holding you.

“Come on, you're bleeding a lot we’ve got to get you to the ambulance.” He said tears cascading from his eyes as he tried to lift you while simultaneously slowing your bleeding but as he lifted you not only did you scream, blood rushed out of your gash at a very alarming rate.

“We can't lift them, they're losing too much blood, the ambulance got to come down here….They’ll die if we take them down there.” Someone said as Katsuki placed you back on the ground. He wanted to yell at them and tell them they were wrong but he knew they weren't. As well as he knew the ambulance wouldn't fit down here, it was hard for him to fit through the cracks of the cars. He had to try though for you, for Kaori, and for himself.

“You're all hurt, go get to an ambulance and get some help, idiots.... And please, I'm begging you, make one of them come down here.” The group of people nodded as they raced for the ambulances.

“Told you I’d wait on you, Kat.”

“Yeah, you did such a good job, baby! You are so strong, love. They went to get help, everything's gonna be alright.” He whispered to you clutching your body closer to him.

“Who are you trying to convince me or you.” You laughed coughing up blood.

“Stop laughing, dumbass this isn't funny.” He gritted his teeth at you.

“Alright then stuffy, onto the serious business. I want Kaori to grow up knowing what love is, so tell her all our cheesy stories. I want her to grow up knowing she is so loved by you so tell her everyday from me and you that you love her more than anything. I want her to know she can come to you for anything so don't be such a hardass to her when she starts to rebel a little…. I don't want her to forget my face or my voice too much, so as much as it might hurt at first show her all the pictures and videos we took over the years. And when she's old enough to understand what happened tonight tell her she doesn't need to go to my grave if she ever wants to talk to me, I'm always watching over you both, promise.” You paused to throw up some more blood. “And now for you my love, I won't say anything to cliché. Like ‘i want you to find love’ cause we both know I am the jealous type but if it happens don't worry I'm not turning over in my grave. I want you to keep following that dream of yours if anyone can be the Top hero and a single dad it’s you, Kat. I want you to indulge yourself and eat takeout sometimes that stuffy diet of yours isn't fun. Be sad for as long as you need but just don't hold it all inside and try to continue on like everything is fine. It's okay to cry, to need a break or some help or both really. Lastly, Bakugou Katsuki, I love you and I am so sorry we didn't get that always and forever we wanted.” You said using the last of your strength to caress his cheek. He sobbed as he grasped your hand and held it tighter to his cheek.

“I love y-” he tried to say but stopped as he realized you were already gone. You didn't get to hear it back from him… the scream that ripped from him was pure anguish in its finest form. He should've been quicker to say it. He should have said it more often. He just should have. And now he was begging his head to stop playing these flashbacks to stop driving the knife further into his heart, he had a daughter he was trying to live for. He just wanted it to stop.

“DADA DADA”

Just like that he was drawn from his head. He looked around to see his friends and family staring at him in concern and his daughter at his feet with fat tears rolling down her face. He quickly picked her up, cursing at himself as he probably just scared her.

“What are you crying for you, little brat?” He started but paused as fat tears of his own rolled down his sunken cheeks “Everything's gonna be alright soon, so we shouldn't cry for too long okay, Brat.” He said as he hugged Kaori tighter than he should have. Somewhere in his mind he did believe it. That he and his daughter would be okay but for right now he was trying to stay afloat in the waves of suffocating flashbacks.

#bakugou katuski x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x you #bhna x reader #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #very sad #angst #poc writers

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yuzenji-archive · 4 years

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SUNDAY MORNINGS. — K. BOKUTO

SYNOPSIS // oh how lovely it is to spend your day offs together in each other’s arms... until things get steamy and hot.

TYPE // kōtarō bokuto x fem!reader, blurb, fluff to smut real quick ;D

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR // this was a request but i didnt write this in the ask,, and now i cant fjnd it so uh just lettin yall know this was a request NDOWNDK im just dumb also im so sorry that this is so fuckin long i dont know how it happened

as usual, you were the first one awake. kōtarō’s arms were all tangled up with yours and tied around your body. you loved waking up in his arms - his beefy arms - and you loved seeing how his white hair floating above his head in the morning. how he snores loud yet it was soft. how his nose twitches a little when he sleeps - you loved everything about being able to wake up in kōtarō’s arms... and to put it simply, you would never exchange it for the world.

“why are you staring at me like that..?” he had asked and you didn’t realize he was awake already. you’ve been together for so long yet being caught by kōtarō still makes you so damn shy. “mm.. good morniiing.”

“how was your sleep, kōtarō-kun?” you said to him, but it sounded more like a whisper. his eyes were still closed but you knew he was awake. he then opened them, eyes beaming and you could’ve sworn there were literal crystals in his eyes that made them sparkle.

“it was great... i think it’s because you’re next to me and stuff,” he replied, pulling you back into his arms and breathing in your scent that he was so addicted to. he pressed your body against his - and boy, was he excited already. “mm..”

you felt him press against you - to be fair, he was packing - and it made you blush. every day with kōtarō was almost like your first time dating him. everything made you flustered and shy, and you couldn’t look him in the eyes because it felt like he could turn you into a stone. you’ve connected with him as one, yet... he still has this sort of power on you.

“i miss you.”

you missed him, too. truth be told, kōtarō has been busy playing for the black jackals as his professional job. he had been training left and right, meaning he leaves early and comes home sometimes quite late in the night. even though you have work, you miss him tremendously.

“i miss you, too... can we take the day off together or some-”

kōtarō was fast to get on top of you, and the first thing he did was stare into your pretty eyes. shy, you still looked at him. you watched his gaze darken by the second, and it made you feel all sorts of feelings. he began to dip closer to your face, inching so fast to your lips and soon enough, his lips were slotted perfectly on yours. his kisses never failed to make your heart do flips and jumps and skips, and you just couldn’t get enough of it.

“can i touch you.. please..?” he whispered against your lips. you could feel his hands tugging on the shirt you were wearing (that belongs to him). boy was he so eager to feel your skin clash with his rough hands, so eager to feel so incredibly close with your body. as soon as you nodded, his hands moved like they have the mind of their own. exploring every inch of your exposed skin was like discovering new terrain for kōtarō. he grew obsessed with how you look under him, expressions changing with every second that passes.

your soft gasps whenever he touched your chest made his desire to take you grow stronger.. and stronger. “please, kōtarō.. i can’t take it anymore.”

kōtarō couldn’t help himself any longer. his hands inched quickly to your clothed sex, working quickly to rip them them off of your body. it was like a hungry wolf took over kōtarō’s body, and wow.. his eagerness made everything steamy.

he was also quick to dispose of his garments. his hand wrapped around his thick cock and pumped and pumped until he was ready. you were eager to feel him too. whines and soft cries from your neediness escaped your lips, and it was music in his ears.

kōtarō leaned, his hand finding a place beside your head and his buff body hovered over you again. his other hand guided his cock inside you, his eyes were trained specifically below you. he pushed himself in.

at last... you and kōtarō were one again.

“shit..” he mumbled under his hot breath. he didn’t move for a few minutes, though it felt like hours. were you always this desperate for him? your body was finally being honest about your needs... but it felt like it was all too much for you to handle. “fuck.”

all he could say were vulgar words, something unlike him. but the second he started to move his ungodly hips, your mouth emitted the same list of vulgar vocabulary.

maybe you were over-exaggerating, but you were certain that kōtarō was bigger than the last time you became intimate with him. his hips.. how could it move so well like that? how could it reach places you never thought even existed inside you?

everything felt like another state of euphoria. the sun began to kiss your skin, and you began to glisten. kōtarō admired the new aesthetic - drenched in sweat, lips only knowing how to say his name and make unforgivable sounds - it became his favorite.

“i think-” you were stopped by a moan bubbling up your throat and it became unstoppable. “i-i think- shit!”

“gonna cum?” he muttered, eyes trained solely on your face. they were slightly closed, and it was obvious you were flying in the beautiful paradise kōtarō always sends you. he was obsessed.

all you could do was nod as a response. how could you even form an audible sentence? you were in some sort of euphoria! no matter how hard you tried, kōtarō’s sinful thrusts didn’t let you.

“good,” he responded, his pace getting faster as if it was helping you approach your orgasm faster. it drove you insane, over the edge even. his favorite part was watching you writhe in pleasure, eyebrows curling in such a way he found endearing, hands flying either to his hair or the sheets and gripping them as if you were holding on to your last life. you were so beautiful in his eyes. “good..”

he continued to thrust, to let you ride out your high and for him to ultimately finish. the only way you could tell that he was nearing is when his breath starts to become shallow, his hips starts to falter and sloppier, and his grip on your waist becomes tighter. every time, he always seemed desperate to finish quickly.

“k-kōtarō..” you croaked out. he didn’t react. kōtarō was too immersed in his own world that he couldn’t hear you.

“fuck!” he groaned out, pulling out just in time. his hand flew to his cock and he quickly pumped out his load all over your shirt - technically his - and it didn’t take long for it to be soaked up by the cotton material.

he flopped next to you, arm resting on his forehead. he started to take deeper breaths. you turned to him, snuggling up next to him and pressing a kiss on his cheek. kōtarō smiled softly, returning the kiss but on your lips.

“so, how’s my game? still good, huuuh?” he asked, teasingly. you chuckled at his question, throwing a pillow at him. “come on, tell me!”

“your game has always been good!” you responded. “but morning sex isn’t our thing.”

“you’re right. maybe later before we go to sleep?”

“kōtarō!”

#whew #this wasnt supposed to be this long i #this took too long #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu blurbs #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#kotaro bokuto #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #kotaro bokuto x reader #kotaro x reader #bokuto koutaro #bokuto smut #haikyuu smut

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getofy · 4 years

Text

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics!

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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hunbomb · 4 years

Text

roommate! jaemin

i hope u guys like this one! i do :)

warning: not proofread LMAO

jaemin: a huge flirt

like we been knew sis okay bUt its not like it defines him ya kno??? like yes he is a flirt but its not like he does it purposely

however that doesn’t stop every single girl from liking him

except for u cause you’re ~not like other girls~

jk you are

cause who wouldn’t find na jaemin attractive?? tf???

okay but like the dealio between you and jaemin is that you are best friends

and you have a fat crush on him (u have since the beginning of highschool LOL)

luckily for you, although jaemin is a flirt, he isnt interested in any girls so he doesnt bring any to your dorm

and even if he did, he would tell u because it would be shitty not to

anyway

so u met in grade nine and yalls friendship popped TF off right away like you joined nomins duo and made it a trio in the span of 4 months and everyone was like???? this mf got that close to them that fast???? mastery

jeno was like ur brother from another mother fr

you and him told eachother everything and sometimes he would tell you things he wouldnt even tell jaemin. like everyone has those people that although theyre close w, there are some things you’d never tell and that goes for jeno and jaemin

jaemin never told jeno he listens to taylor swift

and jeno never told jaemin that he watched all of my little pony friendship is magic on netflix

but since you and jeno shared some personal things w eachother, you obviously told him about your crush on jaemin

and since you had a crush on jaemin, you never got like super super close with him just cause ur feels got in the way

mainly just you never got as close to jaemin as you did jeno

sure you were bffs, but it wasn’t on such an intimate level

cause everytime jaemin would look your way you’d be gasping for air

so timeskip to senior year

everything is great

your friendship is still strong af and you guys are all planning for post secondary

jaemin and you get into the same uni right.... and jeno gets into the one the town over so your friendship wont take that much damage

but!!! jaemin wants to room with you!!! and ur like!! fucufejdsk!!!

cause like ofc you want to who wouldnt????? but you have such a massisve crush on him you dont want it to get in the way of not only yours but also jaemins university experience

you say yes tho and next thing you know youre unpacking all your stuff

the dorm is kind of small like there isnt a lot of space,,,,, theres two bedrooms but the beds literally take out the whole room HAHHAHA and then there is a chill space with the kitchen connected and u and jaemin have to share a washroom LOL

“jaemin what the FUCK did you eat??? beans??? i bet it was beans this shit smells so bad i-”

“it really do be ya own friends sometimes” -jaemin 2020 :((((((

anyway so like university life is good you and jaemin invite jeno over every weekend for a sleepover and vice versa its so cute GAH

but like,,,, here’s where the drama comes in

one day you are facetiming jeno and youre telling him about how you really like jaemin and blah blah ya know the usual

and youre not really looking at the screen cause youre doing your homework and focusing on that but jeno sees in the back that jaemin has fully entered the room

and you dont notice cause hes silent and your still talking but jeno is trying to get your attention UDHSJIA

and when he does you see in your part of the screen jaemin just,,,, standing there

cue you ending the call with jeno SO FAST and turning around like oH i thought you had classes right now?

“.... they ended early”

“i see” ://////////

you like get up super fast and just walk around him and go into your roomm shutting the door

poor jaemin is just like “what”

cause to be honest he never really considered this situation ever happening yah he thought you were prettier than most girls and he liked the way you were able to talk to people so easily but he never would have thought you harboured feelings for him

so he kind of just leaves it be cause he knows that you def dont want to talk about it and is willing to wait for you to be the one who brings it up

so time skip to dinner youre both just eating in silence but you dont like it,,,

“what i said was true” you say and jaemin looks up and he knows where this convo is going but he lets you speak

“i didnt ever plan on telling you because i really like our friendship but i guess i wasn’t careful enough”

your heart is beating hella fast but you try to look unbothered and its going pretty good until jaemin asks you something

“how long have you felt this way?”

OKAY like it shouldnt be a big deal to tell him bc you already exposed yourself but for some reason that question just hit you deep cause you realized that youve liked him for so long and he never felt the same ya know

“i dont know,,, since the start of highschool? when we became friends i always thought you were cute and it just turned into a full blown crush”

jaemin just sort of nods in response “oh okay”

so that night your just laying in your bed full of regrets

you know things are about to be super duper awkward between you and jaemin and you wish it didnt have to be like that

so over the next couple of weeks its more awkward than it has ever been before and the sleepovers with jeno seem so divided

its either jeno and you or jeno and jaemin its never the three of you anymore :((((((

jaemin isn’t ignoring your feelings though, dont worry! hes just trying to sort his out

because your confession kind of opened his eyes

he doesnt want to force himself to like you but he cant help but admit that when he first heard you talking about your feelings a huge warmth spread through his chest and he may or may not have uncovered some feelings

these feelings were always there but he suppressed in grade nine cause he thought you’d never like him and you just wanted to stay friends

so he pushed them down and never thought about it again

but obviously that didnt happen because now youre on his mind 24/7 and he wishes that he could just talk to you but hes kind of nervous

so after taking advice from jeno he tries to talk to you more, like asking how your day went and starting up conversations

youre kind of like “what u playing at son” but you leave it cause you know jaemin would never do you dirty like that

it stays this way for a while until one night theres a particularly bad thunderstorm and jaemin is scared of thunder

and so when youre just playing on your phone jaemin opens your door slightly and has this scared look on his face

and you know that jaemin is scared of thunder so you open your arms without any words being shared

a huge boom of thunder makes jaemin squeal and jump into your arms

and he gets comfy under the covers as youre holding him, no words shared between you two

he starts to feel much better and this sense of comfort washes over him like,,, youre his home

and as hes falling asleep he softly mutters

“im sorry it took me so long”

and youre just straight confused like what does that mean is he talking about his feelings or just the fact that yall havent had such an close encounter in a while

the next morning you wake up and jaemins arms and you guys are facing eachother

and hes already awake so when you oepn your eyes you find him already looking at you

“thank you for last night, youre the best” he whispers and youre like all good fam i understand

but then he leans in closer and is like “i should have told you this so long ago, but i am in love with you”

your eyes widen and youre like wh AT the FUCJ your heart is beating at like 420 bpm and ur shooketh

he just smiles and pulls in you in closer and its just a super soft moment and no words have to be said

that night you guys are cuddling on the couch after dinner when jaemin just asks you be his gf

OF COURSE YOU SAY YES! you have been waiting for this moment for god knows how long

jeno is all like damn fina-fucking-ly i’ve been watching this romance play out for like 5 years!

its super cute

its even better that you guys are roommates because youre already living together so you get to see eachother everyday

jaemins room as become a guest room for sorts as he now shares a bed with you

jenos happy af hes like YESSS I DONT NEED TO SLEEP WITH JAEMIN IN OUR SLEEPOVERS ANYMORE

jaemin: >:(((((( tf is that supposed to mean

you just laugh and youre like im not complaining hahaha and jaemins heart just stutters so bad

he really does love you and he cant believe it took him so long to accept his feelings

and one night he tells you about how he pushed them down and youre like “exCUSE ME we could have been dating all this time u pussy”

sad jaemin :(((((

anyway ya its so good its a win-win situation

you get to room with the love of your life and its just magical there are so many soft moments between you two and just UGH relationship goals

i need me a jaemin

#nct #nct dream #jaemin #na jaemin #nana #jaemin scenarios #jaemin scenario #jaemin x reader #jaemin blurbs #jaemin imagines #nct jaemin #nct na jaemin #nct bulleted au #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 #kpop #kpop scenarios

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freshstartbaby · 4 years

Text

Deux

PREVIOUS PART

🎧 Pree me - Burna Boy

« Captain Phillips on the line. We are arriving to Tulum Mexico. The weather is 33c and the local hour is 11am. Please find back your seat and don’t undo your seatbelt before the redlight turn off. » I made sure that my seatbelt was well set before I turned my head towards the window. I love to take plan. It’s scary but I love it. More over it wasn’t a long flight so I enjoyed it. When the plane landed, I sent a message on the whatsap convo, so they could know that I landed well.

Robyn : Wasssup yall, i just landed I need to get my suite case and do some administrative stuff I think. Where do I wait for you ? Xandra : Great, @Bignasty and I are on our way. We’re are picking you near the cab area. Is that good for you ? Robyn : Perfect 🥰 I looked down at my screen and tried to not smile too wide. I know what she is doing. She is such a child. My god. Ok act normal. Try to be relaxed. I look relaxed right ? Forty minutes later, I had get back my suite case and pass counters. I put my sunglasses on, put a little bit of perfum and headed out to the cab zone.

I stoped as I looked at my screen. To be honest I am myopic and I don’t often were my regular glasses. It’s bad I know. So at this point they’re goin to find me. I start to tap a message when I eared my name. « Rob ! » Alex shooted I turned my head and saw her few steps from me. I let my finger run through my hair so they can look good when I arrive. I usually do that when I’m stressed. The more I stepped closer to her, the more i walked like a pimp as I remove my glasses eying her goofly. « You’re so dumb » she said pulling me into a tight hug « Wassup baby » « No you wassup LA girl » « I’m good » She turned over and point me THIS guy saying

« Florian this is Robyn, Robyn this is Florian » I putted my hair back my ear when I look at him. Stop doing this Rob. My tongue twisted inside my mouth when I finally find the courage to look at him. He was... BIG does man like that exists in real life ? « Ayo wassup » he said with a smile and nobbing his head Omg bscsxqgsvsh. He got this voice. «You good ?» I ask trying to make my voice being normal He smiled and nobbed his head again «Nice to meet you Robyn » he pulled his right hand towards me I couldn’t hold it anymore I’m sorry. I smiled hard and shook his hand back « Nice to meet you Florian » Okay how his hand can be this big and this soft. This is too much to handle. Is it me or it’s getting hot in here. Damn it felt like a heat weave. Calm down baby. It’s just a man. Remember ? Men are trash. Don’t you forget that. Put yourself first. I was really holding myself at this point. I don’t like to act to joyfully so people think I’m a easy girl or they can laugh with me. I’m a poker face girl when I’m not near my friend. A man can not destabilized me like an high school girl. Put yourself together Robyn « Let me help you with that » he said taking my suitcase « Thank you » i replied. As he went to the truck I turned back to Alexandra seeing her making stupid move to mimic doggy style. I raise my eyes in the air. How can I be a poker face girl with a best friend like this. We got in the car. Florian was at the driver place, put his seatbelt on and grabbed his phone. « Do you need the address ? » Alexandra asked him « Na i’m good, seatbelt on ? » he said checking on us « Oh look how sweet he is, trying to checked on us » she said looking at me rising an eyebrow He chuckled « Alexander promise me to kill me in my sleep if anything happen to you, I’m trying to enjoy my vacay not to die » « Im so in love with this guy, don’t tell him that » « Oh honey I don’t need to tell him anything both of you stink love » he said She looked back at me and made me this face. They are really in love. My bestie is living her best life and have an amazing partner. It’s all she deserves and it’s all I want for her. « So how long did you know each other ? » he asked us « We met at the middle school » I said « Yaaaas » she shooted « I was like 10 » « Yea it’s like 15 years ago » she said looking at me « That’s right » « That’s makes me feel old » « Wait how old are you ?» he said looking at me I look up at him, putting off my sunglasses. « 25, why ? » « Na just wondering » he said smiling at me « Look at the road » I told him « Yea you right » « How old are you Florian ? » Alexandra asked him « Hitting 29 soon » « Hitting 29 soon, you eared that Rob ? » « Mmmh » I answered I nobbed my head realizing how much annoying Alexandra could get. As I raise my eyes I caught Florian looking at me in the mirror. We looked at each other few seconds before he started the car. Well it’s goin to be interesting. I hugged everyone when I arrived. I was the last one of the group to arrive. So there was of course Florian,

It's been a while since we haven't seen all each others. It was just heart warming. And in a house like that ? Woaw man I'm gonna enjoy this trip. The villa was just amazing. Alexander and Alexandra showed me the house and my bedroom. Since there were three couples, David, Veronica, Florian and I were allowed to have our personal bedroom. At first I was ok to share my room with Veronica, but since there were extra rooms, I meeeean.

I settled in my bedroom. It was nice. I was really happy that it was beautiful as the pictures. Because you know sometimes people lies. I decided to put my swimsuit on since everyone was enjoying the pool waiting for me. I looked at myself in the mirror and blame myself for not being diligent to my workout plan but happy that the last one I have worked on had pay. I took my towel and put on my glasses. I went down the stairs and went to the kitchen. Man I was thirthy. I opened the fridge and found it empty. I pouted my mouth, sad to find nothing. I think we will have to go to the grocery store, at least for water and breakfast, when someone told me « Lookin for something ? » I turned back and saw Florian. Shirtless. I mean in his swimtruck. Of course he was shirtless. Am I supposed to act like I'm not impressioned of how huge he is. Because it going to be very hard. I put my hand on my chest and told him « You scared me » « I'm sorry, it's ok I don't bite » he chukled « Yeaaa » I said puting my hand in my hair, damn Rob stop doing this ! « I was looking for water actually, I'm super thirsty » « Oh yea we didn't get supplies yet, but I got you » He left the kitchen area and came back with a water bottle « Here you go » « Thank you » « You’re welcome » he said leaving the kitchen I took a glass and serve myself. We never know, if someone wants to drink later. I drank, washed the glass and went to the back of the house, where everyone was. As I step out I eared girls hyping me up « Damn Rob, you look good » Eve said « Look at this skin, melanin popin sis » Alexandra continue « Ma' can I have your number ? » Veronica joked I started catwalk acting like I'm queen Campbell, then started laughing with them. I layed my towel on the chair and laydown. We chit chat a little when I thought that something was wrong. So I asked them « Mmmmh guys, nothin is bothering you ? » Everyone looked at me like a weirdo « Wassup » Michael asked « What do you mean ? » Eve looked at me « I mean NOTHING is bothering you AT ALL ?! » I said twisting my face « Rob split it out » Michael said I went to bedroom, took my speaker, shaking my head like those folks are really out there without music. I turned on the music and went back to the back of the house dancing 🎧 Snack - Mrs Banks Everyone started vibing on the sound. Like come on guys, Mexico, Tulum, Villa, Pool and no music ? I mean I'm a poker face girl but god I love to party. Good vibe only you know ? I settled back on my laying chair and let the music go. Sun was carresing my skin, there were a little breeze it was just perfect. Few moments later, I put down my sunglasses and decided to go in the water. You have to know that I'm the weakess girl on earth to enter in a pool. I mean that shit it's cooooold. I started to went down the stairs slowly, like very slowly when Alexandra made fun of me « You're such a child, just jump in it » « Never ! » « Man it's not even cold » « Yea the water is good, don't worry » Florian said enjoying the water « The water is good ?! » I said laughing « Look at me I have chicken skin already » He step clother to me and propose me his hand « Come on I got you » I looked at him shyly. Not only because I found that he was really nice to me since I arrived but also because I could feel Alexandra eying us. What a bitch. I took his hand and felt him pushing me closer in the water. I squeezed his hand « Yoooooo it's cold chill out » I screamed « Come on Robyn, when your lap is on then the rest is easier » he told me I kept my breath and step closer in the water closing my eyes. The water level was now in the middle of my breath. When I opened them back I found Florian slowly laughin rubing his eyes and then look Alexandra. « I told you, she is a drama queen » Alexandra said --- We were enjoyin the pool. The spot was just feeling to good. I was talking to Veronica. She seemed to be a really nice person. She was actually leaving in LA but also travelled a lot. So she proposed me to hang out if I need to discover LA later. Well it wasn't an offer that I will declined. Suddently I eared my stomach made some noises. I was starving. I excused myself and stood up from the pool's corner. I grabbed my phone and turned the music off. « Yooooo ! » everyone shooted « Yoooo to youselves. We need to talk » I said wrapping my towel around my body « Everyone come closer please » « Your so annoying » Michael told me « Oh really I am ? » « You are » je said crossing his arms « Well I hope you will not be hungry for the next six days because I wanted to make a point on food » « Well if I think harder you're not that annoying » he said uncrossing his arms We laughed and started to make a list about what we wanted to eat. We decided that we will buy food for breakfast and for two nights. Even if we knew we wanted to eat outside , we knew that we will be to tired to go out at least two nights. I made the list on my note and propose myself to go buy it. I know it can be weird but I like make groceries shooping. I also thought that we don't have to all go so I asked who wanted to come with me. Alexandra, Alexander and Florian were down for it so we went to our rooms to put some clothes on ourselves. I put a dress, small shoes and wait them on the living room.

Alexandra came sit next to me. I put my head on her shouder. She took my hand and carressed it with her thumb. « He is nice, isn't he ? »She said sofly « Who ? » I knew who she was talking about « Girl you know who I'm talking about » « Yeaaa » I chuckled a little « I did'nt really talked to him » « I know, but he seems to talk to you later, I mean he started the conversation right ? » « Yea » I munbled « So it's your turn now, at least get to know him » « I don't want to » I wispered « Rob » she said softly looking at me I couldn't look at her back. Man to be honest with you, men scared me. They scared the well out of me. Even if Florian was the most good looking man I have met since years, I wasn't ready to risk to be down as I was few months ago. He is nice and hot so of course I'm goin to answer him, but girl I just don't feel it. I’m gon try but I don’t want to trip over it. Like I’m goin to get a potential friend. A really hot one but yea a friend. I have plenty so it don’t have to be difficult with him. Her shoulders went down a little and squeezed my hand « Ok baby, it's ok, if you don't feel it you don't have to, I didn't want to push you that way » « It's ok » « Ready girls ? » Alexander asked followed by Florian « Yes let's go » Alexandra answered She set up and picked his lips while Florian opened the front door. We went to the car an headed to the store. When we arrived at the store we splited in two groups and started to grab what we needed. Florian was pushing the cart behind me. I found myself twisting my mouth trying to find something to tell him that not sounds stupid. « So how long do you live in LA ? » i questioned « It's been like 4 or 5 years » « Mh, where were you before that ? » « Munich » « Oh really ? »I snapped back « Yup » « It explains your accent » « Yea it is hard to hide » « You're not really trying to hide it right ? » « Na I'm proud of where I'm from » « That's what I like to ear » « What about you ? » « What about me ? » « You moved to LA few weeks ago, right ? » « That's right, one week to be precise. » « Newbie. » « Yeaaaa kind of » « In what suburbs do you live in ? » « Bel air » « Oh yeah ? » he asked « Yea, where do you live ? » « Brentwood » « Oh so we're close, I'm few streets far from Brentwood » « I could show you cool spots » he said coming help me to grab something I was trying to catch « Yea at one condition » I said trying to grab what he was handing me « What is it ? » he said stepping back preventing me to take what he was handing me few seconds ago « It has to be good food spots » I said putting my hands on my hips « It is very good food spots » he said smiling and finally giving me the supply « Yea you better, because food is the love of my life » I kept walking when I felt that he wasn't near anymore. I turned back to see him. He had a weird smile on his face and seemed to look at the lower part of my body. « You're a greedy girl ? » he said with a lower voice Our eyes caught each other. A heat weave hitted my cheeks. In my head the nasty me was twerking and whining everywhere. The chill me was telling me to act normal and stay focused. « Kind of » I say raising my hands like it's not my fault « Yea, if you like food we're gon get along » I smiled at him and turned back to reach the point we choose with Alexandra and Alexander to meet up. We paid, put supplies in the truck and headed house. When we arrived the other part of the group took care of what we bought. I found Alexandra and Alexander in the middle of a heated kiss and go upstairs. I chukled a little when Florian asked me « I wanted to go look for something in my bedroom, you think I should wait ? » I laughed, I think he saw the same thing. I look upstairs and then back at him. « Na you can go, it seems to be a big house, you’re not going to ear them. Mhhh your room is close to their ? » « No I think mine is close to yours actually » he said with a smirk « Well, you’re a BIG boy » I said tapping his arm «I’m sure you can do it » I passed by him when he caught my wrist « I need extra hands, can you come with me ? » « To what ? » We were close and to be honest it didn’t bothered me. It was pretty nice to look at a piece of art that close. « I want to take my shisha » « You took your shisha ?» « Yeeea, do like it ? » « I mean I don’t smoke it often, and I wanted go cook something, I’m starving » « Look, you come with me take the shisha, and then I help you in the kitchen, deal ? » he said deal but he already took me near the stairs. I wasn’t going to protest. It would be ridiculous. We went upstairs and his grip to my wrist turned to a lock to my hand. I know I already said it but his hands like woaw. We arrived to his room and I left his hand waiting for him at the frame of the door. His room what cute. It wasn’t made like mine but it was cute. He step down to his suite case and put parts of the shisha on the ground. He took few seconds and look at me. « you can come in » he said smiling « Thank you » I said stepping foward « You wanted to wait out ? » « I mean it’s your room, I didn’t wanted to take over your space » I entered slowly in his room and sited on the edge of the bed « What taste should I take ? Mint, caramel, cherry, pineapple- « Take them all » He looked back at me as he raise an eyebrow « Take them all so you don’t have to keep looking for them here up in here» « Smart above all » he said with a smirk « here, give me the flavors so I don’t break anything » « You’re clumsy ? » he questioned giving me the flavors « When I was little, I used to be called Mrs Clumzyn » « Like a mix of clusmy and Robyn ? » « Yes sir « i said heading out « Well good to know » he said laughing He took the shisha parts and we went downstairs. We settled in the kitchen. I started chop vegetables and cooked beef meat since I wanted to make tacos. Quick and tasty. We kept talking to each others. Everybody but Alexandra and Alexander join us in the kitchen area few moments laters. I mean they smelt food so 🤣. It was really nice to have them. I talked to the one I really knew to see what’s popin in their life. We haven’t be reunieted like that since ages so it was the perfect moment. I was the youngest in the group and you know when you pass the 25 yo, your life change in many maniers and so quickly. During this time I also learn a bit about the ones I didn’t really know. As we end eating, Alexandra and Alexender joined us back. « So what’s popin tonight ? » Alexandra asked us « We’re getting lit baby !» I shooted « Yeeeeea that’s the Robyn I like to ear » Michael high five me « Rio should called me in a moment, he said he knows a club where we can enjoy our first night » Raymond said grabbing his phone « Rio ? Rio ? » I looked at him « You know many Rio ? » « Like BABY RIO ? » « Yea man » « I didn’t know he was here ! » I said bouncing my shoulders happy that Rio will be here. « Wait will he be here, like with us tonight ? » I questioned « Not all the night but he will make us enter » he answered « Who is he » Florian asked blowing some smoke « My cousin » Raymond said He nobbed his head and watch me stood up, always dancing. Alexandra saw him watch me and told him that I was this happy because we used to dance together. I watched him and told him that it was my Latino Chris Brown. I left the kitchen and came back a little after with little cards in my hands. « Siiiiince we don’t know this place, I made little cards with all our numbers on it » I handed cards to everyone « you can use them if you get lost or if you black out or I don’t know » « Here you go again Mrs Annoying » Michael said « Thank you mama » Eve « Thank me later when you will find yourself not in Mexico and with your died phone. » I looked at Eve « at least someone is grateful » I stepped at the end of the table and said « please make sure your phone is totally charged before we leave, save the number of everyone in this room in your repertory because if you don’t have internet you can not reach to the numbers on whatsap, take your external charger if you have one and I think it’s all » « Oh really ? » Michael asked sarcastically « Wait no, who drive tonight ? » « I do » Florian said « Great, who else ? » The others looked at me like « Naaaa not me » « Come on guys, we will switch all week » I told « Then you should » Raymond said with a smirk I looked at him. The audacity. « You know what. I will » I answered back looking at him « Perfect, I will take shoots for you honey » I raise my middle finger at him. When I felt a large hand on the lower part of my back « Don’t worry, we will enjoy ourselves while they pass out » Florian said He was a tactile man. For sure. It was pleasing. Akward for someone I met few hours ago but pleasing. Without paying attention I found myself nobbing, putting my head on his chest and rubbing his forearm. WHY THAT FUCK I DID THAT ? —- 🎧 Vex Oh - Kaytranada I step out the shower entered in my room finding Alexandra in my bed. I put my hand on my chest and kept one underneath my breath so my towel doesn’t fall. Eyes closed I breath out « Did I scared you ? » she asked « You did. » i said closing the door « You’re such a coward » « I know, you know, everyone knows, then what 🤣 » « Guuuurl i saw your outfit for tonight » she said grabbing the fabric of the clothes I put on my bed before leaving for the bathroom « it’s hooooot » « You told me to take sexy stuff, but I already did » « You sure you don’t wanna let them legs out ? » « Na Im scared to get cold » « Girl we’re in Mexico « « So what ? And let’s start slowly ok ? I don’t want people to have an heart attack. What are you wearing tonight, since I found you in my bed ass naked » « I’m not naked don’t you see that robe ? It’s satin. And I don’t know I’m waiting to see what Xander is wearing so I can match his outfit. » I looked at her smirking « what ? I want those latinas to know that he is NOT in the game anymore » I laughed « anyway I just came to checked on you about you know, the big boy just in front your room » « Did you tell him to take this room on purspose ? » I asked her clothing myself « It didn’t seemed bothered » I chuckled « did you hugged him in the kitchen or did I dreamed » I raise my head and look at her trough the mirror « Honestly I don’t know why I did that. » she looked back at me « I know, I say something and I do another but he is nice I think I didn’t wanted to be rude. » She stepped closer and rubbed my shoulders « Robyn. Look. You’re on vacation. You don’t owe anyone explanation even me. If you want to do something. Do it. If you don’t want. Don’t. But please do not overthink. Enjoy. You deserve it » I patted her hand on my shoulder and thanked her. She left ready to get finally dressed. I finished to get dressed and grabbed my phone to put some music to vibe while I will do my make up.

I saw that it was nearly 8pm. We were supposed to leave the villa at 9 so I was ok on the timing. I was ending baking my face when someone knocked at my door. I shooted to comin when I saw Rio.

I screamed and jumped on his arms. Maaaan it was good to see him. He had a wide smile and started to laugh. I asked what was funny « What are you cooking on your face ? » « We say baking and not cooking, with your silly ass » I said hitting his shoulder « I missed you » « I missed you more » he said moving his head a little « Sit » I pointed my bed and went back to the desk where I was doing my make up « where have you been ? » «Here and there » « Where exactly ? » I said looking back at him « Toronto, Miami, Atlanta, Chicago-« « Well ok superstar » I said laughing « I saw your ig man your classes looked lit, you’re really doing this » « Yea, you still dancing for mmmh Theophilus ? » he questioned with an eyebrow raised « Theo his name is Theo » « Yea whathever, you still dancing at this club ? » « No I moved actually » « Oh really ? Where ? When ? » « LA, a week ago » « Good, good, so you left your sugar daddy ?» he said laughing « he wasn’t my sugar daddy ! I already told you that « I said laughing back « My ass ! So who is the lucky one downstairs ? » « What you’re talking about ? » « There are only couple here right ? It’s like a couple’s trip ? Who is your boyfriend ? » « It’s not a couple’s trip » I said putting my last lashes on « Alrigh... I mean I would be happy to learn that you found someone who makes you happy after what Leo did to you » I moved my shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal when my someone knocked at the door. It wasn’t closed. I turned back and saw Florian. I really felt like ovaries blowed. He was just stunning. He has a white shirt, slightly open so I could notice his gold chain, white a black short and some white sneakers. So simple but man on him, it was just I opened my mouth slowly to take a breath when he excused himself to interrupted us but we needed to go otherwise we will be late for the place we booked for dinner. I told him that I had finished and that we arrive in few minutes when he left. I turned back at the mirror, checked my make up one last time I took my regular glasses so I can drive and my purse so Rio and I could leave my bedroom. When we arrived downstairs everyone was just fierce, outfit onfleek. I begged them for a group pictures because I just knew that a the end of the night we will not look good at right now. They finally aggreed, we took few pictures and went to the restaurant. —- When we arrived at the restaurant, a friend of Raymond and Rio joined us. So we were back to a pair number. We settled to a table. Alexandra was at my right, Florian at my left and Rio was in front of me. Thanks to the spanish skills of Xandra and her bright smiled, the waiter didn’t went to hard on us for our lateness. The view was just amazing. I think this is my first trip where every spot is breathtaking. « It’s beautiful right ? » Florian asked me while putting a arm on the top of my chair « Yea, I was just thinking of this » I turned back my head watching him watching me with a little smile « What again ? » i said smiling « What do you mean again ? » he said laughing « You’re always making fun of me » « That’s not true, I just found you’re cute with your glasses » Oh snap i forgot that I still have my glasses on. I don’t like wearing them I think it changes my face. But I just can’t do contact. I’m a coward as I told you. I took off my glasses and put them on my purse « Hey I said you look cute with them, why are you taking them me off « he said softly « I rather not to have them » I said on the same tone « You look beautiful anyway » he said rubbing his lips index « Well thank you, you look handsome yourself Florian » I said patting his lap while sipping my spirkling water. The dinner was tasty. There was food in abundance and the vibe was just light. I found Florian hand gripped/carressed slightly my back sometimes. It made me slide to my left slide and rubbed my thumb on his right thigh. You know I’m just used to give back the softness he was giving to me. We talked about how he knew Alexander since he is te only person he is related to. About his last trip in Santorini. While he was telling me about it, the only think I could think about was all this pictures shirtless on his IG. I mean how can you erase them from your mind. As we finished to eat, we decided to headed to the club Rio was supposed to make us in. We just can’t wait to party hard. We went to the cashier and paid. As I waited for the others to pay Rio came I front of me, watching me

« No boyfriend hun ? » « Yeaaaaaa... » i said looking for my glasses I need them to drive. « Oh and all these carress during dinner with big boy ? » he said looking at Florian then back at me « We met today, come on, he is nice and he only knows Alexander » « So many reasons to have his dick sucked » I opened my mouth and clothed my mouth, in choke. He just has no filter. Not only one. « Just be careful ok ? » he said heading to the exit of the restaurant We settled in the area Rio found us. The bass was feeding my body. I love this feeling so much. It made me want to bounce everywhere. Ok i could not drink but it will not prevent me to enjoy my first night. Waiters came drop bottles at our table when Rio tapped on one waiter’s shoulder I said something in his ear. I couldn’t ear what he said because the music was loud. He stepped close to me, leaned and told me that he asked soft for drivers. I thanked him and lean over Florian who was now at my right to tell him. He moved his head and nobbed toward Rio to thank him. When our drinks arrived we could finally cheered up and start partying. The night was crazy. The DJ was crazy, I kept switching on good songs of all types, reggaton, rnb, afro, brand new and timeless classics, bangers only. I thought that I might get crazy by the end of the night. I danced with the girls, with Rio before he left and then came back to our table. Before I could reach our area there was a buch of girls, of all type, wiggling hard. I finally pass them when I saw Florian, alone, on his phone and smoking shisha. I set close to him as he put his arm back my waist, wrapping it a little without leaving is phone. I stepped closer to him and asked him what was the taste. He finally looked up at me and asked me to try. I put the end in my mouth and try to identify the taste. « Blueberry ? » i asked « Iced » he told me showing me his screen I looked at it and saw my Ig account with the button « waiting » « Are you going to make me wait a long time ? » he said smiling I smiled shyly back and took my phone. I went on Ig and accept him. I questioned him if he was happy and he nobbed proud of himself. I shook my head and told him « What do we do about your harem ? » He step back and watch me with frowned eyebrows. He had no idea of what I was talking about. I smiled and pointed at the woman’s group in front of us. All of her watching Florian with lust. I swear I could ear their prayers for him to just put an eye on her. He watched them, then back at me and smiled shyly shaking his head. « You’re goin to tell me that not one of them is your type ? » i asked « They’re all beautiful » « But ? » « But not interested » « What you need like a model or something ? » I said playfully « Naaaa » he sais before smoking « I need loyalty. » Since there his tone was matching mine. Very light. But the last sentence he said was serious. I could feel it the way his body language shift. I looked back at the girls and nobbed my head thinking about he just say. Loyalty is so rare those days. Everything happens so quickly and end so quickly. For a yes or a no a relationship can be twisted. People can be fake and act like you interest them but they just looking for their own benefit. Loyalty was definitely criteria We stay silent a little when I asked him « So you’re just goin to be sit here all night ? You’re not goin to dance at least on one music » He laughed a little and started bouncing his shoulders like it’s going to be enough. As I watch him and hyped him up so he can be confortable the DJ switch the music 🎧 BamBam - Chaka Demus & Piliers When I recognized the song I started raising slowly, took his hand and whispered him that he couldn’t let me dance on this song alone. He stood up and rubbed his face softly with his free hand. The smile on his face bretrayed him. He knew the song and seemed happy at this moment. I started moving my hips sensually on the rythym. Surprisly I found him following me without too much difficulties. Okkkkkk he got some moves okruuuu. As the music was jamming he slowly put his hand on my hips, step closer and turned me back. As I turned I started to laugh at myself. I was goin to grinded on him hard. It was so ridiculous because I was playing with the fire but damn it felt so good. My back was on his chest. I felt wrapped and I really didn’t want to let go. I think he was feeling the same way because I felt his head stuffed in my neck. I bitted my lips when I felt his breath and his beard on my burnin skin.

I was fucked up —— Wassup guys How do you feel about chapter two ? Do not hesitate to give me feedbacks, react and all that stuff Take care

NEXT PART

#fanfic #florian munteanu x black reader #florian munteanu #big nasty #bignasty #freshstart

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sopeyb23-blog · 4 years

Text

Coming home

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Final

Summary: Spencer deals with the news he has received

Warnings: Anxiety, crying, panic, trauma, self harm, suicide, death (past), injury, stalking, swearing, angst

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC

words: 1.6k

A/N: The final Part!!!! again this one is pretty dark, but not quite as difficult or long as the last one. I cried yall.

*I do not own any CM characters

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Part 10

Spencer~

I must have sat there in silence for at least five minutes. I kept my hand on her back and tried to keep my own breathing calm. I know it's cliche to say I never thought it would happen to me. But it's true. Even in my line of work, you never think it'll happen to you, until it does. I stared at the dirt beneath my feet and wondered what question to ask first. When I finally lifted my head, hers was down, refusing to meet my face.

“So, Ben?” It wasn't the first on my list, but I knew the story hadn't ended just yet. She only stopped it there because she was too afraid, and I knew that feeling all too well.

“He received an envelope the same as mine two weeks before he killed himself.” My brain switched modes as she spoke. I went from boyfriend to profiler before I could really stop myself. I mean, anyone would in that situation right? It can't just be a coincidence.

“Did you know that-”

“That he was going to kill himself? No. he sent me pictures of his envelope just like I did when we were in highschool. We talked on the phone hours before. I've talked to people on the edge before, I've talked people off the edge before. He wasn't planning it. That i'm sure about.”

I thought back to the first night she stayed at my apartment. Before we moved in together, I think it was after about a month of dating that she slept there for the first time. I remembered how guarded she was at first. How she would always wear something that went at least down to her knees. That first night she put on a sweater of mine and for the first time I saw her scars. Not just on her legs, but on her torso as well. Long intentional, surgical scars. I never asked.

“Soph, those scars, were they from-” she cut me off again, hearing me say it seemed to be too much for her.

“Some of them are from the surgeries. Some aren't” the pain in her voice was too much. It wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. What I would do if I could get my hands on the man that did this-

“Let me find him.” it came out before I even knew I wanted to say it.

Sophie~

I finally looked up.

“What?”

“Let me find the man who did this. Give me the word and I will have the whole team looking for him. Or just me, I don't care about who does it. Let me make sure that he can't take one more thing from you.”

The tears that I had just gotten to stop came back. I knew he would do that. I knew he would do anything to protect me. But to be honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

“After all the lies that I've told to you? My best friend killed himself because of someone that only wanted to hurt me. How am I any better than he is?”

My lips trembled when I looked at Spencer. Even in all of the pain that he has been in, all of the emotions I'm sure he felt as I told him my story, he hadn’t cried. Not until now.

Spencer~

I had kept strong for her. As she first saw me, when she first heard me speak, when she told me of all that happened to her. But hearing her blame herself. Her pain was so evident. It broke my heart more than I knew was possible. I took my hand from her back and put it on her cheek so she had no choice but to look at me.

“You listen to me. This was not your fault, do you understand? You did not lie to me, you kept strong to protect me, to protect everyone! There was no way you could have known that after all this man had done to you he was going to hurt someone else! None of this is on you! I love you so, so, so much, and i'm so-” My voice cracked as I cried and trembled. “So sorry that you thought you had to do this alone. So please, please. Let me do this for you.”

She stayed quiet as she sobbed and trembled but finally nodded. She squeezed her eyes shut and I pulled her into me. I would die before letting anything else get to her.

__________

Eventually, after the both of us had laughed and wiped the snot and tears from each other's faces we hobbled back into the house where her sister was waiting.

“So?”

“I promise the both of you, I will find this man.”

She looked back at me and nodded before reaching out to Sophie and pulling her into a hug.

“Good, it's about time someone did.”

I walked to the couch and pulled my phone from the hospital bag before calling Garcia.

“Boy wonder! You don't text, you don't call! Where have you been!” her voice made me smile, she was always a little light in the darkness.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I've been dealing with a lot. Garcia I need you to do something for me,”

“Anything, what do you need?”

“Can you get the rest of the team on the phone?”

“Hah, can I, of course I can! Think who you're talking to. Hold please.” She paused and I heard several other lines connect.

“Alright and here we are, Reid everyones on the line now”

“Thanks Garcia. I need everyone's help.”

_________

(3 month time jump)

Sophie~

I waited anxiously on the large bed in Spencer and I’s room. My phone sat beside my leg and I nervously checked it every few seconds waiting for the call that could change my life.

Three months ago Spencer called his team and told them my story. He explained to them everything leading from when I was sixteen to the moment Spencer was shot. The team agreed to help the both of us and gathered as much information as they could. About one week ago Spencer got a call from Emily just after we had arrived back home in DC. -

“So?” I paced around our apartment anxiously as he set his phone down on the coffee table.

“They think they found him.” I stopped walking around right as the words came out of his mouth and gulped.

“Do you think-”

“It's him, Sophie. It's him”- And Spencer was right. It was him. They left that night for Maine. I fought and fought, trying to convince all of them, but in the end Spencer convinced me not to. -

“Spence you don’t understand! I have to go!”

“Look at me. I know how much this means to you, I do. You can not come with us. I can’t put you at risk like that!”

“Spencer the last time you were there you were shot! Five goddamn times!” He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed my hand from where he sat on the couch. He pulled me into his lap and looked me right in the eyes.

“I will get him, I promise. I will call you every hour and I will even stay with your sister if it means you don't come. Trust me, I want you with me every moment! But I want you alive more.”- So, I stayed. He kept his promise to me. He called me every hour and never once did I hear the dreaded dial tone. He stayed with my sister and her husband and kids, and every time he came home, Lu would send me a picture of him with my nieces and nephews. A couple of hours ago he called me, one of his hourly check-ins but the tone of his voice was different. He was trying to hide something from me. -

“Spencer what's going on?”

“Nothing I promise!”

“No, there's definitely something happening! What's going on Spence?”

“We found him.”

“Yeah, I know that, that's why you're in Maine, what do you mean?”

“No, Sophie, we found his house. He’s in custody right now.” My heart stopped for a moment.

“Soph? You there?”

“Im here, i’m here”

“All we need now is a confession. Emily and JJ are working on him right now.” - He reassured me that he was okay, and said he would call me soon. He texted me at his next check-in saying he was fine but that he needed to work on the confession, that he would call me when they got it, when they were leaving. And just like that my phone rang. I almost fell off of the edge of the bed to grab it, dropping my phone in the process.

“Spence?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me babe”

“So?” My heart rate sped up and I felt light headed

“We got it Soph.” I cried and put a hand on my chest. Years of pain. Years of being paranoid. Years of never seeing my family out of fear that it would hurt them. Years of thinking that my best friend's death was my fault. And just like that, the man who caused all of it. All of my pain and my fear and my panic and my trauma and my scars. Just like that, it's gone.

“Sophie are you still there?”

“yeah, yeah, im here, sorry, it's just-”

“I know, I know. It’s okay now” I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.

“Sophie, I'm coming home”

With three words he saved me. With three words he made all of my fear for him worth it. He made every second worth it. He made coming home worth it.

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

#malec livewatch #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec #sh

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lsohredesign · 5 years

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ANYWAYS ARE YALL READY FOR THE FORBIDDEN AUDREY CONTENT

ill be honest with yall she was a real nightmare to redesign HUFDHUFSD

i went through so many potential faces but none of em ever felt right yknow ? the stuff above is her (most likely) finalized design, but im still kinda unsure. thats why ive been hesitant to share.

in a nutshell, i needed her to look sweet, kind, meek and gentle, but underneath it all she’s tired. of skid row, orin, and everything that makes her daily life just a drag to get through. she had to look a bit more complex than just the pretty blonde.

2nd pic is me finally getting somewhere with the facial design. i was torn between 2 overall head shapes- one that looked like a heart and one that made her hair look like a bouquet of flowers. i went with the heart. it’s hidden, but that was the underlaying structure. (its more evident in the 3rd pic)

3rd pic is me figuring out her costume (equivalent to movie audrey’s “daily” black dress). i still have to design her somewhere thats green outfit btw. back in my summer chara design class, my teacher emphasized the ‘importance’ of her having really tacky clothing, which is one of her standout traits (also according to wikipedia lol). so i tried merging a tacky floral pattern with 3 dress styles.

1st pic is me putting it all together. again, there’s still a lot to work out. mostly personality wise/how she comes across from first glace.

#audrey #lot of info under the cut #while its also to share with yall #half of this blogs purpose is to deconstruct my thought process and intentions #mostly for myself but also in case yall were curious as well

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embcrry · 4 years

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ok thisss took wayyy longer than i’d expected . like it’s fucking midnight ? like guys im such a mess omfg . anywaysss * tana mongeau vc “ welcome to my trash bin daught or welcome back to my trash bin daughter ... what ? was ? that ? idfk . if you wanna plot with my overly tired ass give this post a like and i’ll love you down i promise !! also i apologize for how long this intro is going to be in advance !

new york’s very own 𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄 " 𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 " 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 was spotted on broadway street in 𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘐𝘕 𝘌𝘓𝘖𝘐𝘚𝘌 𝘉𝘖𝘖𝘛𝘚 . your resemblance to barbara palvin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also dependable . i guess being a 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘶𝘱, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯 + 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴 . & ( female & she/her ) + ( faith , 21 , she/her , est . )

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

FULL NAME : emilie sierra berry . NICKNAME : emma , em , emma bear ( by her little sister ) . BIRTH DATE : march 1st , 1998 . AGE : 22 . GENDER : female ( cis ) . PRONOUNS : she + her . ORIENTATION : pansexual ( attractions are equal ) , panromantic ( leans more toward women ) . BIRTH PLACE : brisbane , australia ( see home here ) . the family still owns this house but don’t use it much . HOMETOWN : new york city ( upper west side ) , new york ( see home here ) . her dad + little sister still live here today . CURRENT LOCATION : new york city ( upper east side ) , new york ( see home here ) . moved in one year ago after break up . EDUCATION LEVEL : highschool diploma . OCCUPATION : olympic swimmer ( emulated after katie ledecky ) , socialite , escort ( no one knows ) . NET WORTH : 32million ( every year up until she’s twenty five she receives a percentage of her trust fund ) . FAMILY NET WORTH : 3.1billion ( father ) , 4.8billion ( mother + step - father ) . PARENTS : adrian berry ( father , 51 , hedge fund manager ) , natasha laffont ( mother , 48 , former super model + philanthropist ) , thomas laffont ( step - father , 50 , businessman + art collector ) . SIBLINGS : tatiana berry ( sister , 10 , student + ballet dancer ) , bradley laffont ( step-brother , 24 , new york rangers player ) . PETS : jagger ( ragdoll cat , picture ) , maggie ( pomeranian - husky , picture ) . NATIONALITY : australian - american . ETHNICITY : hungarian . CLOTHING STYLE : expensive yet casual ; alot of black , hoodies , leather is a staple , high end sneakers , boots , colorful suits . JEWELRY : gold ; dangly earring , cartier bracelet , tiffany rings , barbell nipple piercings. DIET : pescitarian , no dairy ( lactose intolerant ) . WORK OUT HABITS : six times a week ( mostly boxing + swimming ) . PERSONALITY : guarded ; there is nothing emma hates more than talking about her feelings or letting anyone know who she’s feeling , she has trouble trusting people for good reason ( the girls trust issues have trust issues yall ) + dependable ; if you need anything in the world go to emma she will move mountains to get shit down for you , she’s very punctual , and super disciplined probably due to being an olympian + goofy ; she doesn’t take much too seriously tbh , ( similar to joey + phoebe from friends ) she can be a bit of a space cadet and that always ends in her making everyone laugh + stubborn ; one thing is for sure about emma she’s extremely hard headed , loves getting her way , and is incredibly unforgiving .

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 ( in bullets )

her parents met during college , where they both attended princeton university . natasha , her mom , was in the middle of her modeling career completely blowing up while adrian was already setting the foundation of his investment company . they had a whirlwind romance and were married just a year after adrian graduated from princeton . both coming from old money , emma’s grandparents on both sides are extremely meticulous about the image of their family + so the same mentality was instilled in adrian + natasha .

emma spent the first nine years of her life in brisbane , australia . her parents had moved out to australia just a couple years before she was born for the sake of making her father’s company an international success .

with her parents always off doing something , emma was raised by her nanny + butler . when she was six she expressed her desire to get into swimming after watching michael phelps in the 2004 summer olympics . she was in absolute awe by him + wanted to be just like him . so the next day her nanny spoke to her parents and later that day she was enrolled into a local swimming program .

when she was nine her parents broke the news to her that they were moving to new york . at first she wasn’t all too mad about the move , she didn’t have many friends in school , wasn’t a big fan of her teachers , and knew the one thing she loved she could still do in new york . her outlook on the move changed when she found out that her nanny + butler would not be making the move across the equator with them though . how dare her parents steal the only people who’d ever taken care of her away from her ? she thought . she threw an absolute fit in protest ; completely wrecking the home + locking herself away in the bathroom in her room for nearly 20 hours before her nanny talked her into coming out .

once in new york , emma was miserable . she had tantrums everyday and even stopped swimming for a few months . what inevitably pulled her out of her funk was a trip disneyland paris + her mom bringing her out to buy a whole new wardrobe . yall ever heard of a spoiled brat ?

once she was open to the idea of new york she kind of fell in love with the city , to be honest . she grew close to her new nanny + butler , of course and fell in love with her new swimming coach .

when she was fourteen her parents got a divorce and just six months later her mom was married to a billionaire living in connecticut with a son just two years older than emma . anyone with a brain could put together that her mom had been cheating on her dad , that was except for her dad who’d fallen into denial that his ex - wife would come back .

[ trigger warning : alcoholism , child abuse , violence ] after months of listening to her father , emma broke , the two got in a huge screaming match about how her mom wasn’t coming back saying things like “this is so pathetic, stop graveling over a women who doesn’t want you” + “she doesn’t want you” + “just move on, she’s never coming back, she’s fucking an art collector in connecticut”. mind you she’s fourteen talking to her dad like this , yikes . he started spiraling after that , drinking heavily , doing coke more than just at events , and when emma copped an attitude he’d hit her . it started with just a rough slap , pushing her into the pool or down the stairs , and then it turned into punching her . it got so bad her coach started noticing during swim practices and inevitably threatened her dad , either he let her move in with him or he’d call the police . so , not wanting a tarnished reputation , her dad sent her off to live with her swim coach .

[ trigger warning : grooming ] life with her swim coach was cool , she got to swim alot more plus he was extremely high profile due to sending swimmers to the olympics as well acting in a few movies so she got to go to alot of events with him all across the world . she enjoyed her time with him more than she’d enjoyed the entirety of her life and then he got her to the 2012 olympics in london + her trust and appreciation for him sky rocketed . in her eyes no one int he world could or did love her more .

coming back from the olympics , her had fully sobered up and was ready to bring emma back home . her and her coach weren’t completely gun ho for the move but she inevitably moved back home with her father .

[ trigger warning : statutory rape ] just a month after being back home , her coach started being a little too touchy with her . she felt uncomfortable by his advances but figured her was only taking care of her . then he kissed her and she was pretty creeped out so she asked what he was doing , basically the creep told her he was just missing her alot because she wasn’t living with him and reminded her about how he was really the only person who cared about her . she accepted what he said and soon after they started sleeping together regularly . he didn’t even have to tell her not to tell anyone , she innately knew if she ever told anyone he wouldn’t be her coach anymore and emma just wasn’t willing to lose the best coach she’d ever had . this continued for a little over a year until she went to the doctors and her mom went with her , her mom stayed in the room because the check up wasn’t all that invasive + then when her doctor asked her if she was sexually active her mom answered no but emma , not wanting to lie , stayed silent . she inevitably confessed at the appointment that she was sexually active . her mom freaked out and wanted to know who but of course emma didn’t spill that . she inevitably lied and said some guy she went to school with . within a week her mom found out she lied and refused to let emma go anywhere until she confessed who she was sleeping with . knowing her mom wouldn’t let up she told her it was her coach + that it wasn’t a big deal . but emma knew it was . her mom gave her coach an ultimatum he either quit coaching for good or she’d turn him in . she he quit and emma never heard from him again .

she stopped talking to her more directly after that + stopped going back to connecticut for the weekends like she had been since her parents divorce . she was now sixteen without a swimming coach + completely mad at the world . she’d had a rough few years , to say the least . she turned to partying , HEAVY , to cope with it all . she slept with anyone who so much as gave her a second look she didn’t care if they were older than her , had a girlfriend / boyfriend , if you were into her you could have her . it took her almost five months before she committed to a swim coach + they really whipped her back into shape . no more partying , emma went from school to practice and then home . it was awfully boring for the new party girl but she had one of the best coaches in the world + they promised to stop coaching her had she not listened to their every word . the only thing she cared more about then letting loose was going to another olympics .

she attended a private school in manhattan where she completely smashed each and everyone of the school, districts , and state records in swimming . she was never big into her academics but she upheld a b average for the sake of being able to stay on the schools swimming team . if she received anything less than a b she would guilt her dad into giving her school a donation so they’d give her the grade she felt she deserved .

she graduated from highschool in 2016 and although she was accepted into multiple schools across the nation , with athletic full ride offers from each school , but she inevitably declined each school because she did want to spend another second behind a desk . knowing her dad would never approve of her not going to college , with his ivy league education ass , she lied to him and said she was attending nyu .

she went to the 2016 olympics in rio and completely dominated ( 4 gold medals , 1 silver + breaking five world/olympic/american records in the meets ) .

just months in 2017 her dad started to pick up on her lie about attending college . telling her she needed to enroll immediately or he’d cut her off . calling his bluff she didn’t enroll . she quickly learned that he wasn’t bluffing when he completely cut her off , telling her she had a month to find a place to live and move out .

thanks to her olympics money + her endorsements with tyr sports + adidas she had enough money to get an apartment but her saving would deplete quick so she knew she needed to do something to make alot of money + quick .

desperate and running out of time emma joined seeking arrangements under an alias as sierra meyers . there were a few success and plenty of total blunders on the site but she got lucky with the first women she met with who offered to get her into escorting . emma didn’t even give it a second thought before she said yes , the only thing she asked is that the clientele not want her to attend highly publicized events with her as she's quickly get caught due to her socialite status .

within a year she’d made half of what her entire lifes work had made her , she grew obsessed with escorting and what made it crazy was there were people who would pay her half a million just to have dinner and talk with her . of course , those were the unicorns though because most wanted to sleep with her at the end of the night .

when she turned twenty one her dad gave in and gave her back her blackcard + even offered to move her back into the house , she took the credit card but decided to continue living outside of his walls .

she could’ve quit escorting right then and there , but she’d grown an addiction if you will to her work . there was something about the secrecy of it + her ability to make millions so easily that kept her going .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

former roommate ; these two moved in together after her dad kicked her out + even though she moved in with someone else months after they signed the lease she payed them for her half of the rent for the rest of the lease , ex ; they dated when she was cut off by her dad + they inevitably moved into together they could of had a rocky or really good relationship by broke up around this time last year , the guy she “ lost “ her virginity to ; he didn’t actually take her virginity , in truth these two could very well have never even slept together but he’s the guy she lied to her about sleeping with to cover up sleeping with her coach he found out about her lie when emma’s mom asked his parents if he was sleeping with emma we can decide where things went from there between these two , suspicious friend ; they’re starting to pick up on her random disappearing + secrecy , maybe they start following her at some point and inevitably confront her about escorting or maybe they think she’s doing something else and accuse her of that ? , first girlfriend , more exes , people she’s slept with , someone who she slept with + they had a significant other , fellow olympians , travel buddy , podcast co-host ; these two came up with an idea recently to start a podcast , they haven't released it just yet but it’d be similar to call her daddy / impulsive !

#wealthyhq:intro #* spongebob narrator vc * 200 yrs laterrr #🧜‍♀️ ⋆ ◜you dont own me / 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 .

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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years

Text

forgive and forget

MASTERLIST

(omg this is so long im sorry lol but i hope yall enjoy the angst upon angst!!!! hope that everyone that requested this likes it!!)

Description: famous!y/n cheats on Rog and her life spirals from there

Word Count: 6k+

RogerxReader

WARNING: implied smut, cheating, drug use, addiction, angst upon angst

Being introduced to Roger Taylor had changed your life for the better - or so you thought at first. You were just becoming a name in the music industry when you met him at an award ceremony. It was your first big public appearance, seeing as not everyone quite knew your name yet. You had made sure to get all dolled up and to look your best as you flaunted around that red carpet. Cameras were flashing as you and your best friend, Jess, the guitar player for your band, gave your best smiles and giggled the whole time.

It was a dream come true to you as journalists kept walking up and asking for interviews. You had been in the middle of one when you felt a slight tap on your shoulder. Jess turned her head before you and her eyes went wide. You watched her expression as you turned around nervously. You were not expecting the Roger Taylor to be smiling at you with a drink in his hand and a cigarette in the other. His eyes were warm as he looked between you and Jess, almost admiringly.

“Sorry for interrupting,” he mumbled as he looks to the man who was interviewing you.

The guy looked almost as shocked and starstruck as the two of you. He shook his head fast and nervously laughed as he held his hands up in defense.

“Oh, not at all, Mr. Taylor.” he stumbles his words as he backs away, still in shock.

You bite your bottom lip in an attempt to not laugh at the flustered man, but that’s exactly how you were feeling as well - flustered. The most well known man in the biggest band ever was standing in front of you with the most genuine smile you had ever seen. You were beside yourself, as was Jess.

“I just wanted to say congratulations on your success. If I’m being honest,” he drops his voice and leans in closer to you. “I think you should be getting more recognition than you are. Your talents are way above all of the mediocre lip singers here.”

You weren’t sure what to say, but you knew you needed to say something. Anything. Stop staring at him like that. Close your mouth. Are you seriously about to drool? You’re staring into his eyes for too long. Those big, beautiful blue eyes… You shake your head and laugh slightly as you get your thoughts together.

“Wow,” you say fast, causing Jess to nod her head. “That means so much coming from you, Mr. Taylor. Jess and I are the biggest fans of Queen. We actually drew a lot of inspiration from you all. I love you,” you pause when you realize what you had just said as your eyes go wide. “Your drumming. I love your drumming. You’re amazing. All of you are. I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

You nervously laugh as Jess continues to swoon over him. Roger laughs as his tongue slides between his teeth. You fight the urge to instantly groan at the sight of it.

“Well, thank you so much. It’s always nice to know that amazing talent enjoys your work.” he smiles with a wink. “Are you ladies staying for the after party? I’d be more than happy to introduce you to some people here. That is, if you want.”

“Yes!” says Jess a little too loud.

You look to her with eyes that read ‘be cool’. Roger just smiles as you look back to him and giddily nod.

“That would be more than amazing. Thank you so much, Mr. Taylor.”

Roger takes a sip of his drink as he takes a step back, his eyes still on you.

“I’ll keep an eye out for you when the show’s over. Everyone will love you. And please, call me Roger.” he calls out as he gets lost in the busy crowd.

You and Jess slowly look to each other with the biggest grin on your faces. You both squeal as you take her hands and have a small moment to freak out. Did that really just happen? Did that really just happen? You were so excited for the award show, but now you’re even more excited for what’s to come after it. You want it to go by fast and thankfully, it did.

***

A tall glass of champagne was perched in your hand as you and Jess were stood near the back of the room. Familiar faces were all around you and you were sure that you might literally pass out. You sip your drink as your eyes scan the crowd, in search of Roger.

“Alright,” starts Jess, trying to calm herself down. “This is big for us. I’m not sure exactly what’s happening, but I feel like I’m dreaming. Am I dreaming? Pinch me.”

She holds out her arm for you and without second guessing, you quickly pinch her. She hisses for a moment and rubs the sore spot before a big smile forms on her face.

“Okay, not dreaming! Oh my god,” she whispers over and over again.

“Jess,” you say as you grab another glass of champagne from a waiter passing by. “You need to drink this. I’ve had like four now and I feel calm.”

The moment the words slip from your mouth, you see him. Roger’s walking through the crowd as women from all angles try to get his attention. He’s smiling sweetly to them as he attempts to walk through the crowd and towards you. He looks up just halfway through and instantly spots you. He smiles and holds up a finger, telling you to wait one moment. You look to Jess and your face falls.

“I need more drinks. I’m not calm. I’m not calm.”

“Ladies,” you hear someone say.

You turn around and there he is, once again in front of you with a smile to die for.

“Enjoying yourselves?”

You both nod as you hold the glass tightly in your hand.

“So much.” you say fast.

“I have someone I’d like for you to meet. He works for one of the largest recording studio in the states. Shall we?” he asks, holding his arm out for you.

Your heart lurches forward as you smile and wrap your arm around his. He leads the way as you both follow. For the rest of the night, Roger is by your side as he introduces you to the most well known people in the music industry. Jess was right, you think you’re dreaming. Roger couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. You all laughed and drank and drank some more. When the after party had finished, you had a signed contract with the biggest music producer in the nation. It was as if you were seeing stars and you had Roger to thank for it all.

Roger insisted that you two girls should be driven in style back to your hotel. He ordered a large limo and you couldn’t believe it. Paparazzi were everywhere as their cameras flashed like crazy. They were calling out Roger’s name as he opened the door for you two and you quickly slid in. You couldn’t help but smile the whole ride. When you arrived at your hotel, you found enough courage to speak up to him as Jess exited the limo.

“Would you like to come up?” you ask fast. “I have some more drinks if you’d like. Maybe possibly order room service? I’m starved.”

Roger stares at you with soft eyes as he smiles and nods.

“I’d love that.”

The two of you exit the limo and make your way upstairs, but not before Roger had signed a few autographs and took a few pictures. You said goodnight to Jess as she goes to her separate room. Once inside yours, you discard your coat and slip off your heels. You walk to the mini bar and pull out a tiny bottle of vodka and frown.

“This is all I have.” you sadly say, causing Roger to laugh.

He walks up to you and pauses when he’s just inches away. Your whole body freezes as you stare up at him, his eyes scanning every inch of your body. Breathing became difficult when his hand reached up and gently moved some hair behind your ear.

“There’s something different about you than all of those other girls tonight. Something… Genuine.”

You smile as you feel your cheeks flush red hot.

“I like genuine.” you whisper to him.

He stares at you for a second longer before whispering as well.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your smile slightly falls as you stare into his eyes. Your stomach was in tangles as he glances down at your glossed lips and licks his own. You slowly nod which causes him to smile more. He leans in and pauses just for a moment, his lips barely touching yours. You’re breathing fast as he leans in and kisses you. It starts out as a slow, soft kiss. His lips just lingering on yours, but before you know it, the kiss is sped up and hot.

His tongue is exploring your mouth as his hands do the same with your body. Your movement is rushed as your dress slips off and so does his shirt. One moment you're standing up with your your hands in his hair and the next moment you’re laying on the bed with his head between your legs. Pure ecstasy is the only thing you can think. The whole night consisted of you both in bed and making the most animalistic noises. This was the beginning of the end.

***

Two Months Later

***

You never could have envisioned your stardom shooting off this fast. You were now on the cover of every magazine and everyone officially knew your name. You had to hire bodyguards to escort you wherever you and Jess went. You couldn’t go to the grocery store without paparazzi and fans screaming at you and demanding autographs. It was everything you could have wanted and you had Roger to thank for that. The record deal he got for you was what did it. In the short amount of time you’ve been with the company, you already recorded and released a new album that’s number one on the charts. It was amazing to you. To make it even better, you and Roger had been spending almost every day together since that night at the party. You couldn’t be happier.

“You’re so beautiful.” mumbles Roger as the two of you lay in bed.

You have the sheets wrapped around your naked bodies as you face him, out of breath from your previous activities.

“Shush.” you tease him, your cheeks turning red.

“No, I’m serious. Even when you’re all fucked out,” he winks as he pulls you closer to him, making you giggle. “You’re still absolutely breathtaking. It should be illegal.”

You lean in and kiss him gently, your hand grazing over his neck.

“You sure know how to flatter a girl.” you whisper.

“I sure know how to do a lot of things to a girl.” he purrs as he quickly hovers over you and makes you squeal.

***

One Month Later

***

You found yourself at a party for the first time without Roger or Jess. You had been invited by a mutual friend and were nervous. You were practically alone as you walk through the huge and crowded house, looking for another drink. People keep staring at you with giddy expressions as you pass by them. Now it was them being starstruck over you. You were tipsy beyond belief when you find another drink and sit down on a couch with people all around. You aren’t sure what they’re doing, but you try to join in on the conversation. Someone sits next to you and it’s a good looking guy with a smile on his face.

“Hi.” he says loudly over the music.

“Hi.” you say back.

“I’m Sam.” he says holding his hand out for you to shake.

“I’m-”

“Oh, I know who you are, y/n y/l/n. I think everyone here does. It’s nice to meet you.”

You smile and look down at your drink.

“You as well.”

“You want some?” he asks, looking down at the coffee table.

You were too drunk to understand what he was talking about.

“Want what?”

“This.” he says as he drops to his knees in front of the table.

You look down and realize what he’s saying. A bunch of white powder is on the table and in perfect long lines. You raise a brow and watch as he presses the side of his nose closed and sniffs the powder up in a second. You know exactly what it is.

“Uh, I’m okay, but thanks. Never done that before.”

“Everyone in Hollywood does it ya know.” he tells you, his pupils getting larger and larger. “It’s good for a stress reliever and trust me, you look stressed. You should at least try it once. Make an opinion off of that.”

You’ve never been one to give in to peer pressure. You look around cautiously as you watch everyone in the room leaned down and do exactly what he had just did. They all looked fine, right? You shrug and awkwardly smile as you drop to your knees beside him and stare down at it.

“Here,” he says giving you a thin, tiny line. “You only need this much for your first time.”

You swallow hard as you mimic his actions and hold down your nose, lean forward and sniff hard. You squeeze your eyes closed as it burns for a moment, making you cough. The guy laughs and cheers as you lean back and instantly feel the effect of the drug. You felt weightless and different. You can’t help but laugh as he sits with you.

“You okay?” he asks.

You lean your head against the couch and smile.

“I’m okay.”

You look back over to him and suddenly he’s leaning forward in an attempt to kiss you. You reach your hand out and stop him fast.

“Sam,” you say, hoping that was his name. “I’m with somebody.”

Sam just sadly smiles and leans away.

“All the pretty ones are.”

***

One Month Later

***

Four months into your stardom and it’s not dying down yet. You’re the hot topic on every show and magazine still. People can’t get enough of you, especially Roger. Every night you find yourself in his bed and feeling like you’re on cloud nine. That is, until Jess brought something up.

“So, you and Roger,” she starts as she hands you a cup of coffee. “What are you two exactly? You’re always spending time together.”

You take a sip and smile at her question.

“I’m not sure actually. We haven’t really discussed anything yet. He likes me and I like him.”

Jess nods her head as she looks away, her face hard to read. Something was wrong and you can feel it.

“What is it?” you ask fast.

She looks back to you and her eyes are almost sad.

“There’s pictures.”

Your body freezes as your heart drops. You sit your cup down fast in fear that you might drop it.

“Pictures?” you ask, your voice whispered.

Jess pulls out a magazine and searches for a specific page. She hands it to you slowly.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but what kind of best friend wouldn’t? I had to.”

You scan over photos of Roger and a beautiful blonde. They were seen leaving a fancy restaurant together, his hand on her back. They’re both laughing as they’re seen getting into a limo together. A limo. Just like that night you met him. You tense your jaw as you throw the magazine on the table and stand up fast. Rage filled you as you rush towards your keys and purse.

“Where are you going?” Jess asks worried.

“Here I am thinking we might actually be something, but clearly we’re not. I’m just a good shag when he needs it.”

You rush through Jess’s house and slam the door behind you. You were angry. Beyond angry. Why would he go out with a girl? Is it normal you’re this jealous? He led you on and that makes your blood boil.

“Alright, Roger Taylor,” you say to yourself as you get in your car. “Two can play at this game.”

You know exactly where and who to go to. You had to make a few calls to some friends, but you found it. You drive for what seems like forever, but you’re finally there. You rush up the steps and knock on the door. You hear footsteps and it opens.

“Y/n?”

“Hi, Sam.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Do you have any more?” you ask.

He instantly knows what you’re referring to. A smirk fills his face as he opens his door up all the way. You smile and walk inside with Roger on your mind, but soon, he won’t be.

***

One Day Later

***

You wake up and you’re in bed with the worst migraine you’ve ever had. Your mouth was completely dry as you move around and wince. Last night was insane. You know for a fact you ended up in bed with Sam and called a cab to take you home. You’d feel more guilty if it hadn’t of been for Roger with that blonde. You’re still laying in bed when suddenly there’s a loud banging at your front door. You sit up fast, half scared by the sudden noise. The banging continues as you get up and throw a robe on. You rush downstairs and towards it.

“I know you’re in there, y/n! Answer the door!”

It’s Roger. You freeze and your heart’s pounding. You remember how angry you were at him. You throw open the door and stare at a wild eyed Roger, his face red. He’s practically growling as he storms past you and inside. He turns around fast to face you, a magazine in his hand.

“What the bloody hell is this?” he asks, holding up the cover.

It was a compilation of pictures of you and Sam from the night before. One shows Sam with his tongue down your throat, another shows the two of you wrapped in each other’s arms at a club, and another shows you straddling him inside of his car. You held your head high as you cross your arms.

“Oh, does seeing me with someone else make you mad?” you ask sarcastically.

Roger’s face falls. He takes a step back, shocked by your attitude towards this.

“Of- Of course it does. Why would you think it wouldn’t?”

“Oh, I’m not sure, Roger. Maybe because I saw the pictures of you and that blonde the other day.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes confused.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Fancy dinner. Limo. A blonde. Ringing a bell? Jess showed me the magazine that they were all plastered over!”

Roger places his hands over his face and sighs.

“Do you remember me telling you that my sister was coming to town?” he asks.

Your smirk falls.

“Yes… Next week you said.”

“No!” says Rog, taking a step towards you. “No! This week! She was here this week, y/n! You and Jess were at meetings all day, so I took her out to dinner! My sister!”

Your heart was completely shattered.

“Oh my god…” you whisper.

“Yeah, oh my god.”

“Roger, I-”

“You really thought I’d cheat on you?” he asks sadly.

“Is it cheating though? I don’t even know what we are!” you shout.

“Am I that bad at showing my love for you?” he asks, his voice a whisper.

“Love?” you ask, your voice tiny.

“Yes, love. I love you. In my head, we were already together. I didn’t think I needed to make a signed contract that told you that. I assumed you would’ve known and then you go and do this…”

He turns his head and sighs, his eyes glossy. Tears spill down your face and you don’t even know what to say.

“Did you sleep with him?” he asks, looking back to you.

“What?” you ask, not wanting to answer.

“Did you sleep with him?”

His voice is barely audible as you stare at him with sorry eyes. You saying nothing at all was you saying everything at once. He knew right away. He almost gasps as he turns around from you.

“Roger, I’m so sorry! I was so stupid! I jumped to a conclusion so fast and I’m so sorry, but don’t act like you’ve never done this before.”

He turns around fast with a hurt expression.

“I’ve never done this to someone I loved. There’s a big difference. Yeah, I’ve made mistakes that I’m not proud of, but you… You’ve actually destroyed my heart.” he says softly, destroying yours as well.

“I’m sorry.” you cry out.

He just stands there looking like a lost little boy. He nods his head and wipes his eyes.

“Yeah, me too.”

He walks around you and to your front door.

“Roger, please don’t go! Please! I can fix this. I didn’t realize everything! Please!”

“Remember when I told you that I thought you were different than any other girl?” he asks as a tear runs down his cheek. “You should quit music and become an actress. You’re good at it.”

And with that, he shuts the door behind him. You’re left there with your broken heart and tears. You fall to your knees as your legs give out. You sob loudly and harshly for what seems like hours. You were curled into a ball and calling out Roger’s name, hoping he would hear you and run back to you, but he didn’t. He was gone and it was all your fault. Stupid, stupid girl!

You were still on the floor when there’s another rushed knock at your door. It was now dark and you haven’t moved since this morning. You hear Jess call out as she knocks once more and then uses a key to get in. She spots you and is instantly by your side. She props your head up as you begin sobbing once more.

“It’s alright.” she whispers.

“He’s gone!” you cry. “It’s all my fault! He said he loved me! He loved me!”

Jess runs her hand through your hair soothingly as she tries to comfort you.

“Let’s get you in bed, okay?”

She helps you stand up and leads you upstairs. You fall into bed as she pulls the covers over you. She slides in next to you and just holds you as you sob and finally drift to sleep. She knows this is going to be hard for you, but she didn’t realize how you’d cope with it.

***

5 Months Later

***

Five whole months since Roger left and you haven’t seen him since. Well, you’ve seen him on TV and in magazines, but not in real life. He was out of your life and it was actually killing you. The pain you feel in your heart hurts so bad, you thought it would stop. It ached and ached and you needed something to numb that ache. That’s when you decided to put a pause on your music and focus on trying to rid Roger from your thoughts. Jess tried to help you, but you were a lost cause. She couldn’t watch her best friend destroy herself. You stopped caring. About yourself, your friends, your career, everyone. You only cared about one thing and one thing only.

It was a typical night that you were used to now. You were at a nightclub and surrounded by people you barely know. You consider them friends, all because they supplied you with one thing. You were high the moment you stepped into the building and you loved it because, for just a while, you didn’t think of Roger.

Your crazy and reckless ways were getting noticed by the public. Articles about your health had spread like wildfire. Calls from your worried friends and family were ignored as you send them to voicemail. You didn’t care what anyone thought of you, not even yourself. You didn’t care that paparazzi followed you like never before. You didn’t care that they’d sneak into the clubs you went to and photograph you doing god-knows-what.

You’ve seen yourself in magazines with white powder all over your nose and a man’s tongue down your throat. You just didn’t care. You were spiraling out of control and were too scared to make it stop - that meant having to deal with what you did to Roger and you could never forgive yourself. You lost the one important thing in your life all because you were selfish and jealous. You were angry at yourself and this was your way to deal with it. A self destructive way.

Y/n Y/l/n Seen With Mystery Man

Friends and Family Worried About Y/n Y/l/n’s Drug Problem

Y/n Y/l/n Looking Too Thin and Sick After Breakup With Queen Drummer, Roger Taylor

Heartbreak Does Not Look Good on Y/n Y/l/n

So many headlines for what you’re going through. You just brush them off and could care less. You already lost Roger, what else could you lose? You had been at the nightclub for about an hour now. Your pupils were huge as you slurred and stumbled around. A guy had his hand on your lower back as he whispered in your ear about going to the bathroom with him. You giggled against him and nodded your head as you bite your lip. You didn’t even know his name, but did that matter to you? No. The only name you’d be moaning out is Roger, who, without knowing, had just entered the club.

He was unaware that you would be there. He’s seen the tabloids of you and it broke his heart. He had tried to get a hold of you multiple times to make sure you were okay, but you never answered. He went by to check on you at your house, but you had moved. You got rid of every single thing that reminded you of him. Your relationship might not have been long, but it meant more than anything. The boys had told Rog he needed a night out with them to clear his head. The breakup did a number on him as well. He didn’t focus on his music like he used to. His drumming had become sloppy and he couldn’t sleep anymore. He finally gave in to their pleading and came here.

When he walked into the building, several beautiful girls swarmed around him, but he politely turned them down. He didn’t want anyone else. He had went to get a drink and was waiting while he glanced around. Freddie was dancing with Jim while John and Brian were in a deep conversation that made them both laugh madly. Roger chuckled at their red faces when his eyes suddenly glued onto something - you. His whole body froze when he spotted you. He had just caught you walking out of the bathroom with your lips attached to another man. You backed away and fixed your hair and tugged down your dress, a clear sign that the two of you had just had a little ‘fun’ in there.

Roger’s fists clenched tightly as he watched the man practically drool over you. Your eyes were hooded as you attempted to walk over to a table in the far corner. Roger watched you intensely until people hid you away. He jumped from his seat and made his way towards you. He finally caught sight of you once more and his heart nearly stopped. You were sitting on a chair with people watching as your head leaned down and moved fast in one direction. You drop your hand from your nose as your head falls back, allowing the high to hit you. You had officially hit rock bottom and Roger just saw it. You were worse than what he had imagined. He walked around and stood to where he could see your face. Your eyes were closed as you smiled and wiped your nose. He knew what you were doing. Your head falls forward slightly when the man you had just been with grips your wrist hard.

“Let’s go, I’m bored.” he yells out to you.

You look to him and frown while shaking your head no.

“I don’t wanna!” you yell back over the music.

You try to remove your wrist from his hand, but he just squeezes even harder.

“When I say we’re leaving, we leave.” he hisses to you.

He squeezes your wrist even harder and yanks you up from the chair. You yell out in pain as you try to push him off of you.

“You’re hurting me!” you slur.

That was it. Watching this man put his hands on you had Roger seeing red. He didn’t even think twice before he ran up and punched the man square in his jaw. He let go of you in an instant as you stumbled back. You almost fell backwards, but Roger reached out and grabbed your arm in time. You tried to focus on him, but it took a second before you realized who it was. Your face drops and tears immediately fill your eyes, breaking his heart even more.

“Roger?” you whisper, thinking you were dreaming.

He just stares you up and down sadly, seeing the state you were in.

“Why?” is all he can ask.

You don’t have an answer for him. All you can do is allow tears to stream down your face as you bring your hand up and gently graze your fingers over his cheek.

“C’mon, love. Let’s get you out of here.” he says softly.

The man is still on the floor as he holds his face in pain. Roger holds you close to him as he leads you away from these people and towards the exit. Freddie, John and Brian are watching him with wide eyes as they catch a glimpse of you. It didn’t even look like you anymore. They were speechless. Roger gets you outside and takes off his coat as he places it around your shivering body.

“I’m fine. I don’t wanna leave. I gotta go do something.” you tell him as you go to walk back inside, but he stops you.

“Don’t. Please.” he begs you.

Your chin trembles as you stare at the face you’ve longed to see for so long. He was really here. This was real.

“Don’t try to help me, Roger.” you slur. “You’re just gonna leave again and… And I can’t go through that again. Just let me back inside and you can leave.”

Roger shakes his head as he blocks the entrance. You become angry as you try to push him away, but it’s no use. You begin sobbing as you hit his chest over and over again.

“Roger, move!” you cry out. “Move!”

He just stands there motionless as you tire yourself out. You finally give up as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to him. You lean your face against his chest as you cry hard.

“I’m so sorry!” you breathe out. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Roger is quiet as he allows you to get it all out. Your eyes flutter close as you lean against him and instantly, you’re passed out. Your body goes limp as Roger hurries to catch you. He picks you up in bridal style and hurries to the car. He gently lays you in the back seat and stands there for a moment admiring you. You still looked so beautiful to him. You always will. He gets inside and scoots you back a bit, before kissing your forehead for a moment.

“I know you’re sorry.” he whispers.

He shuts the door and slips into the front seat. He starts the car and begins driving back to his house and away from this poisonous place you’ve started calling home.

***

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM

Your head throbbed when you finally woke up. Your high had worn off and the god awful hangover was in full effect. The only thing to make you not feel like this is to do more of it, but you can’t bring yourself to get out of your bed. Your bed? Your eyes had fluttered opened when slight panic hits you. Where are you? This isn’t your bed or room. This isn’t your home. You sit up fast, but regret it when your head pounds. You tense up as your eyes squeeze closed. You bring your hand to your head and wait for it to pass. You open your eyes once more and look around. Your spot your clothes that you had worn last night. They were folded and sat on a dresser across the room. You look down fast and realize you’re in an over sized t-shirt.

You know this shirt. You’ve worn it to bed before. This was Roger’s shirt. You look up and around the room once more. This was definitely Roger’s room. How did you get into Roger’s house? How did you get into his bed and shirt? Suddenly, you remember last night. You remember being with that guy and him wanting to leave. You remember telling him no and then him being on the floor. You remember seeing Roger and thinking you were dreaming. That’s where you go blank.

You’re in the middle of your thoughts when there’s a slight knock at the door. Your head flies up as it creaks open and Roger sticks his head in. He spots that you’re awake and he sadly smiles. You look down at your hands as he walks inside with a cup of tea in his hand. He walks to the other side of the bed and sits down. He hands the tea to you and you take it. You can’t bring yourself to look at him. It’ll only make you miss him even more when you leave.

“I washed your clothes for you.” he says softly. “I changed you, but I promise I had a blanket covering. I mean, not that I haven’t seen you before like that.” he teases, hoping you’d smile, but you don’t.

You stare down at the cup in your hands with your eyebrows knitted together just a bit.

“How are you feeling?” he asks worried.

“I’ll call a cab. Sorry for last night.” you say as you quickly sit the cup on the bedside table.

You go to stand up, but he stops you. He reaches out and gently grabs your arm. The feel of his hands on you again made you more high than you have ever been. Your skin craved his touch as you close your eyes and sigh.

“Don’t leave. Please. I don’t want you to.”

You tense your jaw as you look back at him. You finally look into his eyes and they were sincere. Tears stung in yours as you speak.

“You hate me.” you barely whisper, your voice breaking.

Roger frowns hard as he gets on his knees and scoots towards you.

“No, no, no!” he whispers. “Don’t ever think that! I could never hate you.”

“No, I don’t blame that you do. I hate myself.” you tell him.

Roger sighs as he grabs your hand in his.

“From what I saw last night, I can believe that. Hey, I don’t hate you.” he says, lowering his head so he can look into your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper out.

Roger sadly smiles as he nods.

“I know you are. And me too.”

That makes you look up to him fast with a shocked and confused expression as you shake your head.

“But you didn’t do anything. All of this is on me, Roger.”

“I could have handled all of that a lot better. I could have not walked out and left you like that. We could’ve worked through that, but instead, I ran.”

“I would’ve done the same.” you admit.

“Last night wasn’t you. I don’t know who that girl was, but it wasn’t you, y/n. Where did y/n go?” he asks as he brings his hand up to cup your face.

Your chin trembles as you lean against it, tears streaming down.

“She left at the exact moment you did.” you whisper.

Roger’s heart broke even more. He can see how badly what you did is tearing you up inside. The fire in your eyes had been blown out. You were this tiny and lost little girl.

“I’ve missed you so much.” he tells you. “More than anything. I tried reaching out to you, but I didn’t know where you went. I need you.”

You sob silently as you shake your head and look away.

“I hurt you,” you go to say.

“The past is the past. I need you. Here and now. In the present. Forever and always. Please. You don’t need to be in those places, you need to be here with me. I realize that now.”

You smile and sob some more as you lean forward and wrap your arms around him.

“You promise you don’t hate me?” you mutter against him.

“I love you too much to hate you.”

You pull away and smile as he wipes some tears from your face. Roger leans in and kisses you softly. You melt against him as he holds you close. He leans away and suddenly, a spark in your eye had ignited that fire once more.

“I love you too.” you whisper.

Sometimes, forgive and forget is the best decision a person can make. Especially if it’s for someone you love.

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yeollieayheehoo · 5 years

Text

Repair

Authors note: So this is a little different than how I usually write, it’s more dialogue. So yeah. Don’t come for me.

Summary: There’s never a right time to confess

Pairing: Jongdae x Reader (female)

Genre: fluff

Rating: PG

Warnings: explicit language, drug mention (ya’ll it’s weed.)

Word Count: 2.5K

OneDae [11:32AM] you ridin’ or you rollin’?

Y/N [11:32AM] im always rollin’ wym

OneDae [11:33AM] are you ridin’ with me or are you drivin you fuckin nerd

Y/N [11:33AM] depends

Y/N [11:33AM] do I get to dj or are you gonna play that dubstep trash you call music?

Y/N [11:51AM] did you die?

OneDae [11:54AM] im looking up a facility to put you in

OneDae [11:54AM] cause you’ve clearly lost your mind

OneDae [11:54AM] out here callin my music trash

Y/N [11:56AM] that’s cause it IS trash

OneDae [11:57AM] yall just have no sense when it comes to music. Yall just don’t have an ear for it

Y/N [11:58AM] I literally own an instrument repair shop

Y/N [11:58AM] fight me you fuck

“I would but my mama told me not to hit girls.”

“That’s because you’d lose. What’d you bring me?” You didn’t look up from your work order as Jongdae walked in, the smell of something toasted wafting from the entrance of your shop, filling the front room.

“Pizza, extra mushrooms and bacon. Half with pineapple because it’s clearly the superior topping.”

“Why are you always wrong?” You finished filling out the paper, scribbling your signature at the bottom of it before attaching it to the saxophone case on the back counter.

“I’m not wrong. The rest of you are just lacking in intelligence. Why the fuck do you have 15 conga drums around the corner?” Jongdae paused as he walked around the counter, setting the pizza box down in the middle of it as his attention went to the back room where the drums in question sat.

“Blue Meadows High School dropped them off about 10 minutes before you got here and asked to me to repair the heads. Apparently the percussion director tore half of the hides the last time he tried to repair them.”

“Do you need help with them?”

“I might get you to start soaking the heads while I start on this Yanagisawa.” You leaned back in your stool, stretching your arms above your head before reaching for the pizza box, gesturing with your head to the stool beside you, telling Jongdae to sit.

“When do they need them by?” You shrugged, taking a large bite of the slice of pizza in your hand, holding your hand in front of your mouth as you spoke, “they didn’t give a time frame, but I’ll probably have them done by the end of the week”.

“What else do you have?”

“The Yanagisawa is an A-WO1, it’s got a leak and I’m gonna have to replace all of the key pads and see if it’s that, the drums, I have a guy dropping off a guitar at 2, the Davis kid popped the strings on his cello AGAIN, so there’s that too. That’s it for now.”

“Will his parents ever learn that their kid has no idea what he’s doing?”

“Probably not. You know how private school parents are.” Jongdae rolled his eyes, folding a slice of pizza in half before shoving half of it in his mouth. You chuckled as you stood, walking around him to the back, grabbing the roll of paper towels from your work bench, setting them down in front of Jongdae before eating another slice. There was a comfortable silence as you ate, falling into your weekly routine of almost eight years.

2011

“Wizard?”

“I’m in the back!”

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” You looked up from the piano you were working on, grinning from ear to ear as you got up from your seat. “So get this Chan. I’m working on a ukulele right? My front bell rings, so I get up to go see who it is and it’s this like huge, buffy dude, covered in dust and he goes, ‘do you fix instruments?’ and I say yeah, and he goes ‘me and my crew are cleaning out the old church on Dolson road to renovate it and there’s an old piano in there and my guy John lifted the lid and it’s a J&C, whatever that means, but I wanted to see if you wanted it? I don’t know if it’s worth anything but you could probably make a good penny off of it if you can fix it up’. And of course, you know me, I’ll try to fix anything.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Look that neck was warped and split, I was going to have to make a new one.”

“Finish your story.”

“Oh right. Okay, so I say sure I’ll take a look at it and they’ve already got it loaded up on the back of a truck, so they bring it in and Chanyeol. They just gave me an 1883 J&C Fischers and Sons upright piano. Just gave it to me! They were gonna trash it! So of course I got it loaded on the tilter, and I’m taking out the pins and strings now and hello, who is this?” You pause, just now noticing the unfamiliar face that seems to stick out the side of Chanyeol’s bicep. You grin brightly and offer your hand, pulling it back quickly and wiping it on the leg of your jeans before sticking it back out.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Jongdae.” He took your hand, smooth against the slightly rough skin of your own, but pleasantly warm as he shook it.

“This is Jongdae, a friend of mine from high school. He just moved to town, I was showing him around, thought we’d swing by and see if you wanted lunch, but it looks like you’re busy.”

“No, I could go for food. Let me wash my hands and get the dust off me.” You disappeared into the bathroom, making quick work of the tasks ahead of you, drying your hands on a paper towel as you walked back out, safety glasses hung on their hook next to the door.

You can still hear him ask if you were always this eccentric as you climbed out of Chanyeol’s car when they dropped you back off at your shop. There was something in his voice, the way his tenor words dripped off of his tongue, pitch elevated in wonder, the laugh at the end of his question light, airy and full all at the same time.

You saw Jongdae almost daily after that. You took to each other quickly, finding his lean frame filling your doorway so often that you found it necessary to get him his own chair. He stayed late with you a lot of nights while you repaired that piano, watching you, almost mesmerized as your hands seemed to flow like water, gently caressing each string, carefully sizing the pins for the century-old piano. He helped you refurbish the keys, listened avidly as you instructed him how to sand the body, delicate hands cautious to keep the wood carving against the body as you prepared the instrument for staining. The glossy red-brown stain was his idea. The idea to keep it in your shop was his too, and most days you were glad for it. The idea for him to be the first to play it was your own after learning he could play, a way to repay him for spending so many hours working on it.

“So you never answered my question.” Jongdaes voice pulls you from the past, his head tilted as he stands, taking the leftover slices with him to your fridge in the back office. “Honestly, I’m probably not going. I want to get started on these drums, you know how I am. Will you take the goods with you when you go?”

“I’ll stay too.” You can feel your brows furrow as you frown, shaking your head.

“You should go, how are they gonna get their gas if you don’t?”

Jongdae shrugs, “I’ll text Baek to come get it. I’m not going to leave you here to do all of it by yourself when I know I can help.”

“Yeah but you told me yesterday you’ve been stressing about your apartment search. Go, smoke, relax. We’ll go hunting next week.”

“This is how I relax.” Your hands go to your hips and you raise an eyebrow, looking at Jongdae as if he's lost his mind.

“Dae. Me bossing you around is not relaxing.” Jongdae grins, laughing softly.

“Okay maybe not that bit, but watching you work is. Hearing you play is relaxing. I dunno, just being around you is relaxing, whether we’re in the shop or not. You’re my relaxation.”

There’s something heavy in the air between you at his confession. You figured he liked spending time with you from the way he was always with you, whether it was at home or here, but you would never call yourself relaxing. If anything you were exhausting, especially lately.

You didn’t really have the patience to teach, had turned down multiple music majors who had asked to learn under you. It took Jongdae seven years of watching and observing and proving he could repair something with the mentality that what he was fixing was his. Seven years before you finally decided you would give him a shot and you were surprised he was still around. You could be rude, short-tempered and impatient, something you thought he would have learned by now.

“Dae… I think you need your head checked..” Your voice is soft, demeanor vulnerable.

“They can admit us together, yeah? So what do you want me to do?” He’s the same as he’s always been, cheerful and optimistic Jongdae, like what he said didn’t create an earthquake in him also.

“I guess we need to get the old heads soaking so we can pull the rings from them. It’ll take a few hours. Go ahead and grab the basins from the back room and start filling them with warm water, I’ll start pulling the heads off.”

“I can do that while the basins are filling.”

“Okay then. I’ll start on the Davis kids cello, if you need me let me know.”

Jongdae watches you for a moment, the way your body moves into autopilot, years of routines taking over. It’s stupefying. He could spend hours watching you work, but he’s not here to do that today. Right now he’s here to make your life easier, so he goes to work.

He’s finishing taking off the last head when he hears you play. It’s not pretty at first, though it never is but that’s because you choose to tune by ear. The melody is in dissonance at first, low notes clashing with each other for the spotlight.

He puts the last head in the bin to begin soaking and as he stands, the melody begins to form. He's careful to stay quiet as he leans through the window between work rooms. If he’s being honest with himself, he finds you breathtakingly beautiful like this. Your eyes are closed, head tilted to the left as you focus. The bow looks elegant in your hands, fingers moving gracefully across the strings and frets. It’s almost sensual like they were dancing across a lover's body.

“What are you doing? He’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t notice you’ve stopped playing and are standing in front of him, leaning against the window pane.

“You’re beautiful when you play.” It’s the only thing that comes to his mind and he finds himself delighted in the blush that colors your cheeks.

“Are you saying I’m ugly the rest of the time?”

“Have you seen yourself when you wake up?” He laughs, quickly stepping back when you try to thump his arm.

“Fucker. All the heads soaking?”

“Yup.”

“Cool we can start on the saxophone. You wanna go ahead and remove the pads? I’ll grab the replacements.”

“Hey Y/N.”

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“I don’t know if there’s really ever a good time to say this-“

“-I swear if you tell me you’re quitting after begging me for years-“

“-I like you. I really like you . I don’t know if you know. I’m hoping you know. I’m hoping you like me the same way. I always have to be around you, I don’t know if you’ve realized that yet. It’s like I can’t breathe if I’m not. At first, it was just because you were so different, you were so weird, it was like the strangest breath of fresh air I’ve ever had. And then I watched you as you fixed the piano in the front room and I realized I’ve never been so in love with something the way you are with your work. You put every part of you into an instrument when you repair it, and it gives you those pieces back when you play. It’s like watching a witch cast a spell if I’m being honest with you. You put your soul into repairing something and when you play, it’s like the melody is the instrument returning your soul back to you. And maybe that makes no sense. Maybe I make no sense. Maybe all of this makes no sense and it all sounds insane and it’s not cute or romantic, but we aren’t romantic people. We try to make it through our days and try to find the meaning of life in the smoke we drown ourselves in. All I know is somewhere between us fixing that piano and now, you put your soul in me to fix me and I can feel you everywhere and I want you to feel me too.”

It’s silent after Jongdae stops speaking. He can’t read your face or body, still leaning against the window frame.

“Start on the pads Dae.” He nods, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he feels the adrenaline from his confession fade. “Yeah, okay.”

“And Dae?” He must walk past you to get to the front workbench where the saxophone sits. Your quick to reach out and grab his hand as he walks by you. You pull him back to you, tracing your finger along the lines of the palm of his hand in yours, trying to remember a time when his hands were smoother

“Yeah?”

You have to lean up slightly to press your lips against his. It’s quick, a confession of your own, more than you could say in words. You grin as you realize for once in his life, Jongdae is speechless and you take charge of the opportunity.

“I feel you too Dae. Don’t wait that long to ask me out on a date. Go start on the pads.” You pat your hand against his cheek and walk to the storage room.

“Wait you can’t just do that and then walk away!”

“I just did fuck head. Saxophone. Go.”

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