#((she is welcome to laugh at him and be like 'wow yes ur totally an angel much angel wow'

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

[withloveajaxx]

hello iely!! if u finished the archon quest I wanna know what were ur thoughts n feelings about the whole thing?? I mean for me I just like laughed at itto being itto n marvelled at the cutscenes?? like wow why are liyue archon quests so high quality jdkekdjdjd

also xiao?????? like omy I'm literally keening n crying - I'm not even a big xiao kisser but like??? OMY?? character development??? HES SO CUTE ESPECIALLY THE CUTSCENE WITH YAKSHAS AHHHH

N ZHONGLI TOO AUGGGHHHH that was so hot of him to save xiao like that (sounds weird but like?? hes so cool)

yeah ty for listening to me gush abt this LMAOOO I hope u dont mind???

(also can I be 😻 anon?? if u have like emoji anons or accepting those hehrhfjrjfn)

AAAAA HELLOHELLO OFC YOU CAN 😻 ANON <33 I DONT MIND YOU GUSHING AT ALL I LOVE LISTENING AND I TOTALLY GET YOU DW XJCKEKFKKEF

okay i did in fact finish the archon quest BUT i'll put my thoughts under a cut so i don't accidentally spoil it for anyone ^^

PLS YEAH OMFG I WAS CACKLING AT ITTO N PAIMON'S BANTERS THE ENTIRE TIME JXKWKDKSKDS. it was really funny up until itto punched the wall for a new path n passed out then i just kind of went "awww wtf :(( he has such a pure soul :(("

ALSO KUKI SHINOBU??? SHES SO COOL I FIND HER SO NICE FOR TAKING CARE OF ITTO ALL THE TIME.

YELAN AND YANFEI WERE COOL TOO. they were piecing everything together and tbh i was barely following JSKXKSKXKS

BUT YES OMFG ANON WELCOME TO XIAO KISSERY <33 he's such a lowkey dude all the time but he has such a big heart for people it makes me all soft n fuzzy inside. ESPECIALLY THE LAST CUT SCENE????? PLS MANS NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK I WAS LITERALLY IN TEARS. the way he spent so much strength and energy into saving the team without a second thought :"D. I LOVE HIM.

and ofc we have zhongli mwah i love this geo man thank you for saving xiao JXKEKXKD.

idk i just really loved playing through this archon quest. it was one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride LMAOOO

[pinkykitten]

truth or dare

- @someoneovertherainboww​ heey i dont know if u tak requests but i loved ur writing and i was wondering if u could make prompts 20 and/or 25 for zuko pls prompt(s):  “i’m not playing truth or dare.” “why don’t you take a picture? it’ll last longer.”

pairing: zuko x female! reader words: 2,210 genre: modern au, high school au, cafe au, fluff, comedy, requested

a/n: tysm!!! yes requests are opened atm! omg while writing this i thought of that thing that dante said at like a con or something where he was ordering at starbucks and the lady was like omg ur zuko!!!😂 art in title isnt mine! hope yall enjoy this ball of cheesiness that cures my acne and enjoy the love that i have for zuko to make me become a disaster for him （＾コ＾）V

Your back ached from the way you hovered over your laptop and sat at your desk. Your mind was focused on learning and getting good grades it didn’t mind the pain. Your eyes burned from the strenuous gaze at your blue screen. Your hands felt as if you churned butter and not to mention the mean girls were extra rude today at school. High school was tough and you needed the rest of the day to be filled with relaxation and peace before you hit the books tomorrow. 

“Where are you going?” Your best friend Sokka asked through the phone.

You hopped off the bus with all your items almost spilling out of your bag. “I’m going to Fire Tea Shop. I read the reviews online and people say its pretty good.”

“No, c’mon Y/N you had your chance. You mean its pretty lit!!!!” Sokka sounded too much like a kid that had eaten edibles. 

“I’m hanging up,” you said deadpanned. “I don’t even know how I’ve kept up this friendship this long. I’m so proud of myself.”

“Its because you love me.” Sokka sang. 

“It might be because I think you need my help. If I wasn’t with you and had your back like where do you think you would be? Probably eating crap off a cave right now and starving.” You walked up and inside the cafe was so cozy. It had an earthy yet red contrast feel to the place. It sure matched with the name Fire. It had some vintage Chinese architect to it. It was stunning and really caught your eye. And it was peaceful. “Do you want anything babes?” You asked as you looked at the menu. “They have cactus juice.” 

“No!” Sokka shouted on the phone. “I tried that, I couldn’t get out of the bathroom the whole day! Plus I thought I saw like mushrooms of some sort.” 

You snickered, “baby, I think you’ve been eating too many mushrooms!”

“I’m good. You enjoy it there.”

You said your goodbyes and hanged up the phone. As you did an old man came up with a long beard to say his welcoming. 

“Hello there, young lady. Might I interest you in trying our newest tea? White Jade tea. It’s very delicious.” He smiled wide. 

You read his name tag. He was such an adorable old man. “Hmmm, Iroh? Actually since this is my first time I want to try your most popular tea. How about-”

“So White Jade?” Iroh was about to punch in your order when you heard a shriek and what seemed to be a pot dropping on the floor. “One moment please. That is probably my angsty, incapable nephew that made a mess. Please look to see what you would like.” Iroh made a hasty get away. 

Out came a teen your age as he rubbed the back of his head. He was so handsome looking. His hair was disheveled and he wore a red apron. His attitude really attracted you. “Good thing I made a distraction, that White Jade tea is not a hit. I’m not that good at making tea also. That’s more my uncle’s job.” His voice was low and had an edge to it. It was so handsome. 

“Oh he’s your uncle. That’s sweet!” You grabbed your wallet out. “I would like a Jasmine tea please.” 

“Good choice. My uncle loves that tea. That will be $4.25.”

You grabbed your money and went to give it to him when you saw the huge scar. It was red and didn’t scare you but you couldn’t look away. The thoughts that went through your mind was how in deep pain this person must of been in to endure and cope through that painful wound. 

“Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.”

You wanted to hit yourself. You were taught to have manners and here you were staring at this young man. He probably felt self conscious and insecure and you made him feel worse. “Oh my God I am so sorry. I wasn’t meaning it like that. I’m just sorry that you had to go through that.” You read his name tag. “Zuko. Its a beautiful name.”

Zuko’s nose flared up, “yeah, thanks.” He grabbed forcefully at the money and you sat and awaited your order. 

You dug your head in your arms. ‘Why are you like this Y/N? Why did you stare?’

“Here is your tea miss,” Iroh instead brought the tea out. “My nephew felt he didn’t want to scare you away.”

You bit your lip, “I am so sorry. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to make him feel uncomfortable. It was so insensitive for me to do that. Please can we start over.” You felt so bad and guilty. 

Iroh thought about it then pointed to the tea. “I make the tea myself. Taste it and I’ll think about your offer.”

You sipped the warm tea and no lie it was amazing. He definitely knew what he was doing. You weren’t thinking it was fantastic because you wanted to make amends with these folks but it was actually the truth. 

“Honestly?”

Iroh nodded. 

“This is really good and totally what I needed today. Thank you for this and please take this tip.” You gave Iroh the money. “Its a way to say I’m sorry.”

Iroh saw the money and smiled wide, “I can think we can find it in our hearts to forgive you.”

You finished your tea and went to the order counter and rang the bell. Zuko came out thinking you left. 

“Yes?”

“I was thinking. Do you maybe want to go to the park tomorrow and catch some lunch? Its A way for me to apologize for my behavior today.”

Zuko looked around sheepishly, “I don’t know.”

“Please,” you pouted your lips. 

Zuko agreed and the date was set. 

After school the next day you went straight to the cafe. 

You were going to be honest in saying Zuko was really cute. You were nervous and thinking about him the whole day non stop. You even dressed up for the occasion which rarely happens! Even Sokka knew and wouldn’t stop teasing you the whole day. He should of been your hype man but he made you feel like a little girl with a crush!

“You ready Zuko?” 

“Yeah just give me a sec.” Zuko went in the back and came back with a changed look. He wore instead a red bomber jacket. Could he be anymore boyfriend material?

“Love the jacket.” You poked him on his side and he blushed awkwardly. 

The way to the park was more silent and you were considering if this was a bad idea. 

“So do you go to school or are you home schooled?’ You tried to break the ice. 

“Actually, I go to the school not to far from here.” Zuko pointed in the direction your school was at. 

“Wait! I think we go to the same school! Yeah, I’ve seen you before!”

“I’m not that hard to miss.” Zuko, in a way, brought up his scar. 

“No I would remember you from being so handsome.” You smirked. Zuko almost choked. “That school sucks though. Its the same everyday. Work my butt off and then get kicked around like dirt by the schools mean girls. I feel like my life is a movie sometimes.”

“Yeah I get made fun of too.”

“I’m sorry.” You touched his arm. 

“My dad did this to me,” he pointed to his scar. “Didn’t like me as a son and loved my sister more, I guess.”

“It’s a touchy subject. I didn’t realize it, I’m sorry.”

Zuko chuckled which was something new to you and almost shocking, “you can stop saying sorry. I already forgive you. Its not a big deal. I like you though, I think you’re cool.”

“Thanks.”

“And those people that make fun of you, they're crazy. They're probably jealous of you because you're so beautiful.”

You almost died right there! You were like already ready to get married to this man it felt like. Would it be wrong to ask if he was single? You prayed and hoped he was. 

You two sat at the bench. It was such a peaceful, sunny day. You crossed your legs and faced him. “So Zuko, lets play truth or dare!”

“I’m not playing truth or dare.”

“Alright I choose dare to get it started.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. He knew you weren’t going to do this. “I dare you to ask that old lady over there if she knows any place that sells laxatives.” You shot up and Zuko immediately regretted it. “Y/N I was just kidding. Let me do another one.”

“A dares a dare my man.” You fist bumped your chest like the warrior you were. You went up to the old lady like a lost kid. 

Zuko couldn’t help but laugh hard and try to shy away from the world. 

You ran back and fist bumped the air with a skip. “In your face fire prince!” You nicknamed him. “She said around the block they got a drug store. Boom! Now your turn.”

“Okay, truth.”

“Boriiiiiiiing! Oh my God! Fine! What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”

He groaned, “really? We’re going there? I said a joke, okay, that my uncle said and it came out terrible the punchline left the building and nobody laughed. It was [pretty brutal.”

“I would of loved to see that,” you said in awe. “That’s full on cringe right there sweetie.”

“Okay, you now.”

“Truth.”

“Sissy much?” Zuko raised his brow. 

“Hypocrite! I’m just following your footsteps.”

“Okay, feisty. Have you ever kissed anybody?”

“Totally!” You struggled on that one. It was such LIES!

“You stumbled on that one. I can tell you’re lying.”

“Yes, fine I am. I’ve never kissed anybody in my life okay. Only my pillow. I’ve practiced on that and lets just say its been through a lot.”

“Wow,” Zuko tried to stifle his chuckles, “you’re unbelievable.”

“And what about you? Have you ever kissed anybody?”

“It’s not my turn.”

“Truth or dare?” You were starting to see a different side of Zuko that you really liked. He was fun and made you smile. 

“Truth.”

“Have you ever kissed your girlfriend?” You wanted to see if he was single. 

“I’ve kissed before but I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You legit wanted to party and cry because this could actually happen. “Who’d you kiss?”

“A customer.”

“Oooh, you have to spill the tea on that later. I choose dare!”

“I dare you to try your first kiss with me.” Zuko raised his brow. 

Oh my Lord was he serious? You were sweating profusely and at an alarming rate. “Are you for real?”

Zuko nodded his head, “it is a dare. And you wanted to start this. I told you not to.”

“I’ve never kissed anyone! How do I do it?”

“Just look at me and try it out and I’ll critique it.”

“I’m kinda hating you right now.” You glared at Zuko. “Only 3 seconds okay.”

Zuko surrendered to that and you closened up on him. He smelled of tea leaves that were light and airy and a burning flame of musk. He was really growing on you. You came closer and closer until your lips met. You wanted to keep still but Zuko moved his lips so you followed. You felt the whole shebang. Fireworks, butterflies, everything. You clutched onto his bomber jacket. They seemed so strong and vigorous the kisses but they were tiny pecks to start you off. Your lips moved in sync with his because you got the memo and started getting used to it. You looked down at your watch as saw that it passed the three seconds. Separating from him you wiped your lips, breathless for a puny kiss. It seemed like such a milestone for you and something so big but in reality some kids kiss their posters longer than what you did. 

“How was that?” Zuko looked away blushing. 

“Very invigorating and exciting.” You were speechless. You were such a daredevil is what you thought to kiss this complete handsome stranger. It was like a dream though. You stood on the bench and screamed out the park, “I just had my first kiss everyone!!!”

Zuko pulled you down, “oh my God it wasn’t that amazing. Chill out. I choose truth.”

You evilly smiled, “do you think I’m attractive?”

Zuko’s blush was even redder this time. “Yeah, you’re cute. My type.”

You wiggled your brows, “you’re type? You think I’m cute? He’s think I’m cute! I have finally a guy! Who thinks I’m cute! I have a chance! At not being alone! And being a crazy cat lady!” You sang as you shook your body. “Okay last one, I choose dare again. Yolo. Living on the edge.”

“I dare you to go on another date with me,” Zuko asked as he played with his fingers. 

It was silent and you were surprised on one factor. ‘This was a date?’ You grabbed his hands and smiled at him, “I’d love to go on another date with you! And you said you didn’t want to play truth or dare.”

a/n: IROH IS SUCH A MOOD OMG 😂 and zuko is so sly and cheesy sdkgjfdskgfkgjfdgk omg. i loved this wayyyyy to much as u can tell and like made this like a chapter book bc im extra like that! would u kiss a stranger if he was zuko? i prob would bc im a thirsty nerd fam 🥵

Tag list: @carat-bebe, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @fandomchick80,

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[writesowhatnext]

semaphore but tastier // cedric diggory

Summary: the reader is Cedric’s best friend and they can read him like an open book

Request: hi! can i request a cedric diggory fic where the reader always bakes him smth and he feels better bc of it? 🥺 thank uu

A/N: I really hope this is okay because for some reason I am totally off my rhythm atm and it is also 1am so context also i love ced so more requests for him when i reopen are welcome

Reader: unspecified

Warnings: Triwizard tournament, injury

Anyone would think that you were conditioning him. For what, exactly, you couldn’t say, but you really couldn’t deny how pleased you were to see that handsome smile on his lips. Cedric was your best friend, though, so of course, you wanted to make him happy; it was only natural. And if you found a way to do that via a means as easy as just baking for him, then why for Merlin’s sake wouldn’t you? That was your story, if anyone asked, and that was what you were sticking to. It was nothing to do with any secret, personal, intimate feelings you had for him and that was that.

The first time, really, it’d been an accident; just a happy little coincidence. You just happened to be holding one of your mum’s home-baked Apple Danishes when you saw Ced looking positively tragic in the library, mourning over his Transfiguration essay. All it took to turn his frown upside down was an eye roll and a carefully deposited pastry in his lap - he was clearly a man of simple taste. It’d always been like that with the two of you, actually: you found that you could read him like a children’s book. A very simple children’s book with very few words and lots of very pretty pictures.

It was because of that that you always knew the one thing that never failed to make his day; one of your mum’s freshly-baked sweet treats. It had even worked when he broke up with his girlfriend, something you were not as ‘unnervingly pleased about’ as your friends had teased, thank you very much. Food was your go-to, though, and it always, always worked. Well, mostly always.

Cedric wasn’t upset often. Somehow, it was as if it went against his very nature to be anything but smiling, anything but quietly confident and wonderfully charming. So, when you strolled towards the Great Hall, spotting him and quickening your steps to fall in line with his steady gait, you were surprised to see him scowling.

“Hello,” you grinned, raising your eyebrows as he turned to you, the wrinkle between his eyebrows ironing out slightly at the sight of your smiling face.

You both stopped to wait for the staircase and his brows sunk again, his jaw clenching.

“Hi,” he said, exhaling out of his nose. You smirked, grabbing his chin gently and pushing his cheeks together, making a face. Your fingers lingered on his chiselled jaw.

“Why do you look so cross, Mr Grumpy Pants?” you asked, letting go of him as you started up the stairs.

A reluctant smile tugged at his lips, but you could tell that despite his amusement, there was still something bothering him, creasing his brow.

“Seriously, Ced,” you said, bumping his shoulder as you walked side-by-side down the corridor. “What’s up?”

He stopped short, looking down at the cobblestone floor. You took a moment to trail your eyes down his profile.

“Do you think I should put my name in the Goblet?”

Your eyes darted to meet his grey gaze, your mouth drying up at his words.

“For the Triwizard Tournament?” he said as if he needed to.

You frowned, opening your mouth before closing it again quickly.

“I might need more than a strudel for this one,” you said, trying to make him laugh. Despite your hesitance at the idea, you were glad to see him chuckle, shaking his head at your little joke.

To say you were nervous would be an understatement. The whole concept of Cedric, your Cedric, being part of the deadliest wizard competition in history was throwing you for a loop and he hadn’t even been selected yet. As you sat in the Great Hall, though, at the Halloween Feast with your heart in your throat and your eyes solidly on Cedric, some part of you knew that no one else could be the Hogwarts Champion. Not if he couldn’t.

“Do you think he’ll be picked?” your friend asked, leaning backwards to get a better look at the already selected  Durmstrang and Beauxbatons champions. You didn’t need to ask who she meant.

“Yes,” you said, surprising yourself at how shaky your voice was. “I’m almost certain.”

“Oh, right, because he’s so handsome and brave and smart and kind and wonderful,” she mocked, her voice barely audible over the clapping.

You turned to her, making a face and pretending to mouth what she’d said, earning a slap on the arm. You were too busy squabbling to hear Dumbledore’s preamble, but you sure heard it when he read out the name of the first Hogwarts champion. At the time, though, you weren’t to know there’d be a second. The whole hall erupted at Cedric’s name and despite yourself, you found you were jumping to your feet, cheering and clapping along with everyone else, whistling and finding yourself swept along by the glee of it all, proud actually, of your best friend.

It wasn’t until the dragons that the true fear and nervousness sunk in. You were on autopilot as you crept around the Waiting Tent before the first task, your stomach in knots as you hoped somehow you would find him. Ever since he’d told you that Harry Potter had told him about the dragons, you’d been dreading the day, probably more scared for his safety than he was. You were far too distracted by the thought of something happening to him and the weight of the cream pie heavy in your palm to be completely focused. A rock twisted under your foot and you lost your balance. With a yelp, you ended up pushing through the tent, the fabric separating around your hands as you landed on the floor with a thud. You groaned, officially winded by your own clumsiness.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice said softly, riddled with confusion

You looked up to see Cedric, the man of the hour, with an amused smirk and raised eyebrows.

“You alright, Ced?” you asked casually as if you hadn’t just tripped straight through the wall. Shifting to get up, you were grateful to feel his hands on your arms as he helped you to your feet.

“Better now.”

He grinned at you for a moment, the yellow of his uniform tinting his skin perfectly. You blinked.

“I uh-“ you swallowed, blinking again. “I brought you this.”

You offered him the pastry in your outstretched palm, frowning at how sad it looked, slightly crushed and deformed by your little fall.

Opening your mouth to apologise, you squished the dessert in your grip, surprised as Cedric threw his arms around you, pulling you into him tightly. A grunt left your lips and if you weren’t already disorientated by the hug, the sound of a shutter and a bright camera flash made sure to do the trick. You both pulled away sharply and you would’ve fallen again had Cedric not placed his hand on your back to steady you.

“Wow,” a woman said shrilly. “Isn’t young love beautiful?”

You opened your mouth to correct her, but your words lodged in your throat when you noticed the floating quill beside her head. Your brain connected the dots and you found yourself taking an instant disliking to Rita Skeeter, a journalist Ced had complained about when he first got interviewed.

“That’ll make the front page if today goes poorly,” she mused, pursing her lips and tilting her head to the side. “And what a pretty page that’ll be, a couple like you.”

“Excuse me,” you said indignantly, immediately defensive. You didn’t get to finish before she was accosted by the Durmstrang champion, Krum.

“Sorry about that,” Ced said, his hand leaving your back as you turned to face him, his fingers skimming your arm distracting you entirely.

“Sorry about this,” you replied, lifting up the almost unrecognisable cream pie in your hand, the filling squeezing into the plastic bag around it.

“Don’t be, I think it has a certain charm.”

“I’ll give it to you now in case-“ Your voice broke.

“Hey,” he said, cupping your elbow gently. “I’ll be fine.”

Your vision blurred with tears and even his fingertips brushing your cheek lightly couldn’t salvage the sinking feeling in your stomach.

“Do you not trust me?” he asked a playful grin on his lips. You glared through your tears, pushing against his chest softly.

“You know I do.”

“Then you know that I’ll be fine. It’s just a dragon, what’s the worst that could happen?”

You inhaled, but he’d known you long enough to know the lengthy list of your response and insisted on stopping it in its tracks.

“It’ll be okay. Besides, I have to eat this…” he paused, frowning at the decimated pastry in your hand.

“It was a cream pie.”

“Ah.”

“Champions!” Dumbledore yelled, thundering into the tent and reminding you that you definitely were not supposed to be there. You looked at Cedric as he turned back to you and it was clear that you both reluctantly knew that you had to leave. You stared at him for a moment, brows drawn together, before you shoved the bag you held into his hand and gave it a squeeze. Leaning up, you pecked him on the cheek and immediately stepped away, not quite ready to deal with the aftermath of that particular decision.

“Please be safe, Ced.”

True to his word, he was okay. You’d almost had a heart attack when the Swedish Short-Snout got close to him, but you were beyond happy to see him in the Hufflepuff Common Room, sitting like a king with a mushed-up cream pie in his grasp. You were not at all impressed to see the burn on his face, though, and you were in half a mind to chew him out over it until he spotted you across the room. Immediately, he was stalking over to you and you found yourself doing the same, rushing towards him. You met halfway, throwing your arms around his neck and burrowing your head into his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

“I told you I’d be okay,” he whispered, his free hand rubbing gently up and down your back so lightly you thought you might faint.

He waited until you were there to open the egg and you definitely wished he hadn’t when a horrible screeching noise filled the air. The days that followed as he tried to figure out the contraption, you realised that the Triwizard Tournament had taken over your entire life. For months, what would happen next and more importantly, Ced’s safety had become your first priority and undeniably, that thought scared you. You listened dutifully, as a good friend should when he told you about the advice from Professor Moody to open the golden egg underwater, or when he talked about Harry or the next task, but anyone could tell you were distracted as you tried to imagine what you would do if anything happened to him. Your mind ran away with ideas of something happening to him with you having never told him how you actually felt.

“So,” Cedric said, elbowing you and breaking you out of your reverie one lunchtime. You’d imagined him a lot in the recent days and as you turned to him, your heart stopped a little to see his face in person, as handsome as ever.

“Why are you being strange?”

“I’m not being strange,” you said, though it came out more like a question.

“So, why have you been staring into the distance for the last fifteen minutes, then?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and biting into an apple.

You felt heat rush to your face and you looked down, trying to hide.

“At first I thought you just wanted to let me down gently.”

“Gently about what?”

You shoved the food on your plate around with your fork, desperately unhungry.

“The Yule Ball.”

“What about it?” you asked, frowning as Ced leant over your forearm and placed a strange looking bun on the table in front of you.

“I want you to go with me,” he said softly, his eyes nervous as you made eye contact. Why on Earth would Ced be nervous, you thought, assuming you were mistaken.

“You want to go with me?”

You’d been examining the bun closely when you looked up at him, your fingertips sinking into the delicate white icing as you froze. You couldn’t quite keep up with what was happening and you found yourself blinking far too much, your chest tightening in the process.

“You don’t have to-“

“Don’t you want to go with Cho Chang? Or that Granger girl? Or-“

“Why are trying to talk me out of asking you?”

You looked down, desperately aware of his eyes on you as you peeled your fingers from the sticky icing.

“What’s this?” you asked, nodding to it.

“Something to sweeten the deal,” he said and you could hear the distinct smile in his voice. “Also, you looked sad and you always bake me things with I’m sad.”

“Did you bake this?” you turned to him, frowning, the sound of your heartbeat growing louder in your ears.

“No,” he scoffed, shaking his head and taking another bite of his apple. “I’m just very nice to the house-elves.”

You smiled, huffing a laugh at his pleased expression.

“I don’t think I can go with you, Ced,” you admitted, swallowing gruffly and avoiding his eyes. “To the ball.”

“Why not?”

His voice was small and you wish you hadn’t known him well enough to hear the hurt in it.

“Because to you, it would just be as friends.” You paused, an odd regretful relief flooding through you. “And I like you way more than a friend should.”

“I’m not asking you as a friend,” he said.

You frowned, your eyes lifting up and to the side, before you turned to face him, surprised to see him quietly cocky and not at all like you’d ruined his life by admitting your feelings, as you’d expected you would.

“As a best friend?” you asked, your voice unmistakably hopeful.

You watched a smirk play on his lips and a mischievous glint sparkle in his eye and something you’d never felt before stirred in your chest. He finally broke eye contact, shaking his head and looking down.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “The Press.”

I have been wanting to do this for a while. Commander Vir deals with fame, and the good and bad parts of it. I hope you like, sorry I am so late today :) 

“Why exactly am I back on earth? My tour doesn’t end for another six months, and we were just getting ready for our first exploratory mission since before the burg war.”

“Look, commander, I understand this isn’t what you thought you were signing up for, but since the movie dropped recruitment has Gone up 45% and another 20% after merchandising, we need to get on this quick,”

He sighed 

“Besides, you will only be touring one or two weeks. That’s one or two weeks paid vacation while you talk to celebrities, pose for pictures, and maybe do a press conference or two. Bring along a couple of friends to keep you company and it won’t be that bad.”

“Alright, alright, I get it, but I’m not a dancing monkey. I didn’t sign up for this, and it’s not going to becoming a thin.”

“Yes commander, now The UNSC is taking you first. You are their poster child after all, and they want your face on the recruiting posters .”

“Very well, ma’am.”

***

Wednesday, June 3

“This is good work commander, but we are going to bring in an expert to make it just right.”

Commander Vir stood in an empty hanger bay surrounded by reflective panels, directional lights and a multitude of camera equipment. Sunny and Krill were playing a guessing game he had taught them earlier in the day to keep them occupied, and Waffles -- his dog -- was curled up by one of the set technicians taking a nap.

“An expert?”

“Yes, we’re bringing in one of the guys who used to be a guard in Arlington. The uniform looks good, but is it perfect?”

The answer to that question was answered simply few minutes later

He was a slob, a big fat slob who didn’t know how to properly wear his socks. The guy even whipped out a tape measure to determine the exact distance that a pin should be placed from the crease in his collar.

Commander Vir didn’t see the difference on the small scale, but in aggregate, he found that the difference was actually quite startling. He blinked, “Wow.”

“Excellent, now, we’re going to have you stand over here while we adjust the lights, and then when we give you the cue we want you to follow the order to a T. We will have parade rest attention, present at attention and then contemplatively looking off into the distance. We will have someone with a marker to tell you where to look.”

“Stare contemplatively off into the distance. I don’t remember learning that one.”

“Ahh we got a smartass.” 

He stepped into place doing as the cameraman ordered, trying to look serious and imposing as directed, though Sunny and Krill had decided to make faces in the background. He actually did loose it at some point as Sunny started doing some weird improvised dancing in the background while krill stood there like it offended his sensibilities.

Eventually they got what he wanted, and they showed him some of the prototypes.

There were a few that he liked but only because they looked like vintage  movie posters from some badass naval war movie.

Thursday, June 4 

The three of them walked into the studio watching as bodies flowed past them hurrying off in all directions. Obviously their presence caused quite a stir, and Adam thought he recognized a few faces peering from the crowd, other movies stars and celebrities, but he couldn't be sure what he was seeing. And then there were the women, and men who hurried about, tall, statuesque like greek gods given life, with jaws so sharp they could cut paper, and pouty lips under wide dark eyes. 

Looking at them and then at himself, well, he felt like a dump truck next to a sports car.

Sunny on the other hand didn’t seem impressed, “I could snap them in half…. Like twigs.”

“Fighting isn’t the point Sunny, they’re just supposed to be hot.”

Krill eyed them, “Their single job is to profess the perfect mating standard?”

“Ur yeah, I guess.”

Krill snorted, Sunny shook her head ,’ What is the point of being hot if you’re also useless besides you don’t look all that different.”

He rolled his eyes. Leave it to an alien not to be able to tell what super hot humans looked like.

“I’m serious,” Sunny insisted, “You’re as tall as most of them, and more muscular than some of them, and you have a cool eye patch, so that means you win.”

He couldn’t help but smile shaking his head, “Alright, Alright, I’ll shut up.”

At that moment a woman appeared from nowhere and held out a hand, “Commander! So glad you could come, so glad.” She looked him up and down with a frown.”

“That bad huh?”

“Nothing a little wardrobe and makeup can’t fix.” She announced clapping her hands together and motioning others over as he frowned.

He frowned.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing “

“Do I tell you how to do your job commander, no, now over to wardrobe .”

He blinked in surprise, “Ok, yes ma’am.”

He found himself sidling over to where racks and racks of clothing was hanging suddenly surrounded by the tall, statuesque people with their big eyes and pouty lips. While they were busy looking hot, he got nervous and nearly knocked over an entire rack of clothing, blushed till he was beat red, and then decided after this was all over he was going to bury himself under a rock and die.

He was mostly ignored for like twenty minutes until someone walked over, “Commander,” He was a portly little man with hair dyed frost white though his roots were growing in black. The man grabbed him by the hand and dragged him across the room, “Alright, alright, what do we have.”

He looked him over prodding t his shoulders and arms, making him turn in a circle, “Not bad, not bad at all. I can work with this. Tell me commander formal, or casual.”

“Uh casual?”

“Exactly what I was thinking! The provincial small town man feel. I like it.”

“Well I mean ok…” the little man grabbed him aggressively by the arm and pulled him around to a rack of clothing. In the end he had a pair of jeans black boots a black T-shirt and a brown leather jacket.

He frowned, “I hate to point this out, but this is literally what I am wearing.”

“No it isn’t. Yours is frumpy and sloppy and ours will make you look acceptably rugged.”

He frowned not sure if he was supposed to be offended or not, “And where am I supposed to change.”

“Right here.”

“Right here!’

“Commander, these are models, they show their bodies off for a living, none of them need a changing room, so take a leaf out of their book and stop worrying.”

This was worse than a high school locker room. Humans had never reached light speed, but he was pretty sure he at least broke the sound barrier while pulling on the new pants.

When he walked back over pulling on his jacket sunny and Krill had made themselves comfortable in a couple of the stage crew chairs, “What are you so nervous about, you looked fine.” Sonny said looking down at her implants to change music.

“You were watching me>”

“Was I not supposed to do that.” 

He felt himself turn a nice shade of cherry red, “No!.”

She shrugged, “Whatever.” 

Krill just shook his head, “You forget that neither of us wear clothes, so we do not understand your issues.”

He sighed, “Nudists.” He muttered walking towards the set, though he was immediately diverted by another person who led him over to a set of chairs and mirrors. He was pushed down into a seat and spun around and an aggressive group of stylists moved in on him. This is honestly not what he had expected when he joined the army.

He was even less impressed when they started to stick brushes in his face causing him to blink and his eyes to itch. Someone wetted down his hair and put product in it that smelled like strawberries, which, honestly he wasn’t entirely annoyed about.

From there he was finally let go and walked onto another photo set, though this one had way more lightning, way more cameras and way more props.

And of course like the awesome badass commander that he was, he stood there like a complete idiot as stiff as a board, caught like a deer in the headlights. The photographer seemed more than a little annoyed at his inability to look like anything other than sasquatch caught on a hunting camera.

“Relax.”

“This is kind of out of my element.”

“Being capture by aliens and going on space walks where you might suffocate, and you cant relax enough to take a picture.”

“To be fair, no one sees me when I am doing badass stuff, so I don’t have the social pressure of preforming well.”

They tried some more.

They told him he was smiling awkwardly, or like he was being threatened at gunpoint.

It wasn’t until Sunny started doing stupid dances behind the camera-man, again that the photographer finally started to like what he was seeing. Every time he turned to look at what Vir was smiling at, Sunny would stop dancing trying to look all innocent.

That just made him laugh.

At some point one of the people had a great idea to involve waffles, and -- like the good girl that she was -- she promptly stole the spotlight, which he was totally cool with.

Photoshoots were definitely not his thing.

He was about 100 percent sure when the photos came out they would look like his last middle school yearbook picture.

Even thinking about it made him grimace.

Friday, June 5

“And please help me to welcome our next special guest, Commander Adam Vir of the UNSC.”

His legs felt like jelly, and it took sunny nudging him to finally get him moving onto the stage. He wondered if people could tell just how bad his legs were shaking.

And there was a twitching going on in his right cheek that he just couldn't stop.

He wanted to go back to the hotel and watch dumb TV With Sunny while krill complained about the medical inaccuracies.

But here he was listening to clapping and cheering from an assembled studio crowd. He was sure he was going to do something massively stupid, like trip off the stage, or rip his pants or forget his own name, or something.

The host stood up, he was blanking on their name right now though he knew they were ridiculously famous.

He shook hands with them.

“So glad you could come commander.”

“A pleasure to be here.” He responded robotically hoping that his smile was at least somewhat convincing.”

He took a seat on the couch, resting a hand against his shaking right leg.

He was going to puke.

“So, i Heard you have been on tour  for the past two days, how are you enjoying the celebrity circuit.”

He rubbed his hands against his legs, “Do you want the real answer or the fake one?”

“Lets hear the real one.”

“Er, well it turns out I am really bad at…. Pretty much everything that’s not captaining a ship. Yesterday I did a photoshooot where I am ninety percent sure I looked like an awkward cryptid most of the time. People are going to be looking at those photos and wondering in what swamp they found me.” 

There was laughter from the crowd.

He wasn’t entirely sure if that was funny or not.

“I am sure they aren’t as bad as all that.”

He shook his head, “Pretty sure my face was like this…” He raised his hands making a wide-eyed shocked expression that had the crowd laughing again.”

The host smiled, “Commander, Forgive me for asking, but how old are you.”

He smiled sheepishly, “Um, lets just say too young and leave it at that.”

“I was sort of under the impression that commanders and admirals were….”

“Old wrinkly dudes?”

“Yeah.” 

He rubbed the back of his head, “That’s mostly true, the reason I got this position has to do with my experience with extra terrestrials.”

“I’ve heard rumors that you have aliens on board your ship. Is that true.”

“Those shouldn’t be rumors, that is entirely true. We have a twenty….three person Drev clan, a Vrul medical officer, a starborn, and some miscellaneous others.”

A muttering from the crowd, “But you were part of the Drev war, and Operation Steel eye. How did an entire Drev clan end up on your ship?”

He shrugged, “The story is complicated, but the long and short of it is, I made friends with some Drev after the war, and they adopted me into the clan.”

“Can we…. See, the prosthetic I mean” He held up his hands, “Not to be disrespectful.”

He shrugged, “sure.” Reaching down and tugging up his pant leg so the bright blue carapace glittered in the bright studio lights.

The man leaned closer, “Wow…. What…. What is that?”

“Drev carapace.” He dropped the pant leg.

“Why?”

“That is actually the reason I am adopted. A drev has to give you a gift that contains a piece of their own armor, so my best friend made this for me some time ago.” 

They talked about that for a little while. They talked about the war, they talked about his first moment on an alien planet.

“I was actually on the original mission to land on  Proxima b. I was the shuttle pilot behind Captain Kelly, though I don’t know how many people knew that.

There was a murmuring around the room.

“I know it was broadcasted live, but luckily the cameras were pointed away because when I was getting out of the shuttle, my foot slipped on the stairs.” The crowd gasped and giggled, “And I face planted right onto the surface.” 

More laughing.

“That is my legacy, the first man to take a nose dive on an alien planet.”

“I would say that your legacy contains a lot of strange instances. There are reports that you recently escaped from kidnapping by a prodigum by… Singing? How did that work?”

He rubbed the back of his head, “Well that is… that is.” he laughed nervously, “Yes that is a thing that happened. I and my friend Sunny were captured by a criminal overlord for entertainment in his little criminal syndicate. They had cages lined all along the ceiling and inside them were other humans. Turns out the Prodigum react to human singing like a drug, so I was asked to sing, luckily for me one of the woman in the other cage was a voice coach, so a few days of starving and being miserable, she taught me how to sing properly, or a little more properly, and then I sang a super sad song, distracted everyone long enough for y friend to escape and call for help.”

Gasping and more laughter around the room.

“Wow…. Your life….”

“Reads like a strange cartoon doesn’t it.”

From the crowd, “Sing for us!.”

The call was taken up a few more times.

He shook his head, “No no no, no I am not going to sing on international television. I have embarrassed myself enough this week.” 

“You now commander, you wouldn’t want to disappoint the public.”

He could feel the heat rising into his face as the rest of the crowd took up the chant.

He tried to protest, but that didn’t seem to be working.

Eventually he held up his hands “Ok, ok, but if my voice cracks…. Just don’t laugh.”

“And you were without accompaniment.”

He sighed, “Yeah it was a Capella. They didn’t exactly give me a soundtrack.” he stood taking a few deep breaths and humming to himself. His legs were shaking even worse than before.

He rubbed his hands nervously together.

The studio went very quiet.

He felt sweat trickling down his back between his shoulder blades.

He took a deep breath and….

His voice came out loud and clear, though it quivered slightly. He tried to shore it up as he continued, taking deeper breaths trying to get more control. He tried to find that place where he had been back in the cage. The sort of hopeless anguish he had tried to convey. His voice did quake a few times, but he was ok with that.

At least he didn’t do something super stupid like fall off the stage.

He cut it off hallway because his legs were shaking so bad, he thought that any worse might cause him to fall over.

The crowd began to clap as he collapsed back into his seat taking a deep breath.

“Wow, that is pretty impressive for someone who says they don’t sing. Bet the person who wrote that didn’t think it would be used to escape alien kidnappers.”

“Whatever it was, it worked. But” he lifted his hand, “I’m shaking so bad right now.”

The man shook his head, “That form someone who doesn’t shake when he flies jets at thousands of miles per hour.”

He smiled, “The jet isn’t going to judge me if my voice cracks. I think you will find aliens and airplanes are a lot less scary than humans. Don’t get me wrong humans are great , you guys just scare me half to death.” 

Saturday, June 6

A flight demonstration over the beach, which was pretty good 

Sunday, June 7

Dinner with a few important famous people

Monday, June 8 

Dinner with some politicians.

Tuesday, June 9 

He visited some UNSC bases up and down  the western coastline talking to servicemen and visiting some other people

Wednesday June, 10

The magazines came out, and they actually managed to make him look pretty good to his surprise,  though he was pretty sure the picture had been taking while Sunny was doing something with her hips that Drev hips had not been designed for, which eventually made him laugh so hard he had choked.

Thursday, June 11

This was his last day, and he had one more press conference to attend, than he could go home. He was wearing his formal uniform, captain’s cap, cords, gloves and everything else. There were at least ten microphones on the lectern in front of him, and a crowd of reporters below. Lights blinded his eyes.

Behind his back, the UNSC flag outlined him in bright blue. 

He was getting ready for more questions about the Burg war or wearing the steel eye armor.

He nodded to one of the reporters in the front.

“Commander, do you want to explain to us why, on UNSC time you were  reported as supporting an LFIL protest when you were supposed to be acting as neutral crowd control.”

He felt the blood drain right out of his face.

He was not ready for this.

Inside his brain went blank. He stammered for a second, suddenly feeling like a little kid giving a class presentation while all eyes stared at him. More cameras flashed, “I…. I was doing what I thought…. Needed to be done to keep the protest civil.”

“That was not your job!”

More yelling until the crowd was shushed, “Look, the GA wasn’t seeing any of their representative. I simply explained their side of the story to the GA, and they decided to lift the ban on their own.”

“Directly going against the policies of the UNSC was a gross breach of your contract commander, and we are all having a hard time understanding why you have not been disciplined for it.” 

“You have no idea what is on y contract. My job is to foster peace throughout the galaxy, and THAT is what I did.”

“Some people see it as a direct attack on our way of life. You are helping spread disease poor moral values throughout the galaxy.”

He felt his face burning, “What makes you think their relationships have anything to do with you NONE of them live on earth or on Mars. They do not interact with you, they do not bother you, they do not THINK about you. And no they are not spreading disease because every person who leaves earth receives a full disease panel. You are more likely to have communicable diseases than they are.” 

Uproar.

He shouldn't have said that.

“You are spreading extrial propaganda, and now that you are the face of the UNSC you are having an impact on our children, so t is your duty to uphold the values of the Human public.”

His hands were gripping white onto the lectern, “It is my job to uphold MY values and if the UNSC doesn’t like what I am doing they will fire me, so that is none of your concern.”

“Commander Vir, are you an extrail.”

The room went very silent suddenly. His heart was hammering in his chest.

“You are out of line. My personal life whatever it may entail has no bearing on my work, so you will either ask me professional questions or we are done here.”

“But you haven't denied it!” Someone else shouted.

“That question doesn't deserve an answer either way. If i tell you, that means I am justifying myself to you, which I have no desire to do, and if I were to confirm the other way, I would be bringing a personal issue into a political light, which would also be inappropriate. Either way I will not answer you. Unless there are any more questions that involve my work and not my personal life…”

He wouldn’t budge forcing them to change the subject.

His hands were shaking again, but this time it was out of anger. He had to breathe very slowly to keep himself calm enough.

***

Headlines 

Commander Vir Extrail or Normal 

SCANDAL: UNSC’s Golden boy involved with aliens?

Press conference turns to barbed comments.

LFIL Propaganda

[shijiujun]

History3 ep 13 summary - TUGS AT UR HEARTSTRINGS BUT it’s a good episode

I’m soooo tired but the energy has come again because of Trapped HAHAHAHA the thought of BIRTHDAY SCENE gives me strength to go on praying there is NO JAM on the live stream today we’ll see

OMG what the hell we don’t get a bed scene so the two bed scenes that the writers were talking about WE WILL GET THEM SOMETIME LATER it might be after birthday scene now that I think about it but also guys I think you’ll like this episode because the PLOT MOVES and there’s plot development thank god and we actually delve into serious stuff - the dilemma of Tang Yi as a mob boss and Shao Fei as a police officer finally comes into play here

Shao Fei runs off after Tang Yi kisses his wound (DAMN HE PRESSED HIS MOUTH TO THE WOUND FOR SO DAMN LONG?!) and asks if it still hurts and Tang Yi just laughs and says ‘he’s still too soft’ AND SHAO FEI IS LITERALLY HYPERVENTILATING IN THE TOILET THEN WE GET DOMESTIC SCENE - Tang Yi cooking in the kitchen for Shao Fei WITH AN APRON ON and Shao Fei is all: “it smells so good! is this the spicy dish we had with coke the other time?”

and wow BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD JUST SMILES AND GOES: “you can’t have spicy food or coke while you’re recovering”

shao fei: *pouts* “you’re so stingy, controlling this and that”

DOMESTIC HUSBANDS THEY ARE RIGHT HERE GUYS!!!!!

so they sit down and cute shao fei takes a bit of the dish and puts it on tang yi’s rice first before eating himself (i LURVE THIS) - and tang yi obviously is kind of amused and touched that shao fei did that, and as they’re about to eat that’s when tang yi broaches the topic of shao fei staying at the police station because it’s safer for him there, and obviously shao fei is all ‘WHY?!’ and demands to know a reason and i thought they were gonna start fighting but thank god they’re both soft smol bbs so they just look at each other waiting for the other person to say something, and tang yi goes: “i’ll tell you, but you must promise to stay out of it. if you can’t promise me that, i won’t tell you”

so shao fei obviously agrees and tang yi starts the flashback by saying: “do you know what it’s like to grow up in a place where no one cares about and loves you? that’s the kind of place i grew up in”

AND YES HERE WE GET TANG YI AND BOSS TANG AND HONG YE BACKSTORY (still waiting for Shao fei’s COME ON) - This entire like flashback tugged at my heartstrings guys TUGGED AT MY HEARTSTRINGS I almost cried?!!! - So young Tang Yi was adopted by adoptive parents because the mom wanted to adopt him but the mom died, so the dad was never supportive of his wife adopting tang Yi and when she died he became neglectful and abusive

We start off with young Tang Yi going home and it’s his birthday but obviously the terrible dad doesn’t notice, but Tang Yi goes to his room and eats food and is about to eat cake in front of the photo of him and his mom - the dad comes into the room and he yells at tang yi for going into his room to steal the photo of him and his mom - tang yi says that it’s not his, it’s a photo of him and his mom

and the dad goes: “she’s not your mom and i’m not your dad!”

tang yi doesn’t get why he can’t have the photo and snarks back and the dad slaps him, and says a bunch of other stupid shit, so tang yi leaves home with literally just the clothes on his back and the backpack (can’t rmb if he took the photo or not) - and this scene was truly realistic, i felt that slap and everything so kudos to the actors playing young tang yi and the dad?!

then next scene: we see a super skinny hong ye fighting with a bunch of older male teens over the bicycle they stole, and tang yi is somehow there as well, and they end up fighting with the older teens - long story short, boss tang (tang guo dong) passes by with a SUPER YOUNG LOOKING DAO YI OMG?! and they help tang yi and hong ye out - boss tang tells them to hurry and go home, and hong ye just simply says: “i don’t have a home”

boss tang stares at them for a while, and although tang yi doesn’t say a thing you can tell by his clothes and dirty face that obviously he has been on the streets for a while as well? so boss tang is all: “you guys hungry? want to eat some food?”

tang yi, the cautious, smart boy who knows that most strangers are up to no good, says no, while hong ye who really is hungry, says yes

anw in the next scene boss tang and tang yi are eating at the table alone - although tang yi isn’t eating (and boss tang mentions that hong ye has already eaten three bowls of rice), so boss tang leaves tang yi to eat by himself and give him some space while he goes check on hong ye to see whether she’s gone for a shower yet 

a year or less later, we see tang yi coming home to the house, and boss tang is cooking dinner - it looks fucking delicious btw and i haven’t eaten dinner so jfc i really wanted to reach into the screens for those golden fried mantous (buns) - anw, tang yi is holding onto a little box that is definitely a cake for his birthday and boss tang tells him that dinner is ready so he can come down after he’s put away his stuff - much later, the sky is dark and they’re eating already and BOSS TANG says there’s one more dish and then switches off all the lights, much to tang yi’s confusion

then boss tang comes out with a cake!!!! omg sweetest thing ever - after that they sit at the couch and make playdoh or clay figurines of ‘old tang’ and ‘little tang’ - it’s the cutest shit i’ve ever seen

so while tang yi is reminiscing all of this, he says: “boss tang gave me my first home, my first birthday etc. etc.” - basically boss tang gave him the home he never had, and then he says to shao fei: “but on that day four years ago, i watched him bleed to death in front of me - can you imagine in that moment i lost everything, and my life was ruined? do you think i can let the person who did this go?”

shao fei: “so that’s why you said you didn’t know anything, because you were waiting to take revenge yourself”

then: “tang yi, the best punishment for that person is to get justice under the law”

and of course tang yi insists that he will never ever give this person to the police, he WILL take revenge by his own hands - and shao fei dishes out what probably is the most realistic line in this entire damn show (and one that i think we’ve all been waiting for): “but tang yi, you know that if you take revenge on your own, as a police officer, i will have to catch you?”

and OMG THE HEARTBREAK BETWEEN THEM BOTH!!!! tang yi’s eyes are already watery and he just says: “you do what you need to do. i do what i need to do”

GOSH COULD THEY BE ANYMORE HEARTBREAKING LIKE WE BARELY JUST GOT THE HAPPY PARTS TWO EPISODES AGO?!! (and though i say that i think this episode was about time, because we really needed to move on the plot!!!!)

the next scene we get zhao zi asking online on a forum “what to do when a guy confesses to another guy” AND OMFG THIS IS HILARIOUS he gets the following responses:

“welcome to a whole new world”

“rmb to prepare some VASELINE”

#gaypanic!!!!!

LIKE WOW chinese netizens, you guys are real damn helpful?!!!! HAHAHAHHAA anw i totally died at the vaseline part and the funniest thing was zhao zi, at work, was READING THE RESPONSES OUT ALOUD like did you want the entire police station to know that jack, a well-known gangster and criminal, wants to bang you? and then yu qi who sits next to him (she’s recovered at least on the surface and moving on with her life ATTA GIRL YOU GO!!!) gives him the WHAT THE FUCK look at the things he’s saying - then zhao zi goes to shao fei and asks him the same thing, but shao fei was the one who confessed in this case, and zhao zi just shook his head and goes: “irrelevant, totally irrelevant”

then we move to tang yi’s house!!! omgggg TANG YI LOOKS DAMN FINE WITH THOSE EARRINGS AND THAT WHITE TURTLENECK i would like to thank the wardrobe in charge for picking out tang yi’s HELLA FINE CLOTHES

anw, hong ye and dao yi are there to discuss work, and she’s obviously still mad at dao yi, and tang yi then peruses some files on the project they’re on and picks a company - hong ye is like: “are you sure? they’ve only been around for 5 years”

and tang yi goes on and on about how he thinks the founder of the company is a good and capable person, and that hong ye should meet him because for work, and also secondly, because the founder actually told tang yi that he kind of liked hong ye at a party previously (so anw this founder is the guy we saw in the previews) - and then obviously dao yi is not happy about it and tells tang yi not to do that, but tang yi reminds him that: “if you keep on regretting, you’re going to miss her and you will miss this chance forever”

ah de turns up then and tells tang yi that chen wen hao has invited him for tea next week and tang yi says: “i’ll be there” - ah de tries to discourage him from gg but we all know that tang yi is doesn’t usually listen to ah de so he ignores him

the next scene: tang yi opens the box and we see the birthday hat from his first birthday with boss tang and the clay house he made when he was younger that represented the home that boss tang gave him, and he says to himself: “a year has passed again, happy birthday (to himself)”

AND YES LI ZHEN JIE AND BOSS TANG HAVE THE SAME EXACT BOX THAT THEY GAVE TO SHAO FEI AND TANG YI SO THEY ARE DEFINITELY CONNECTED AND EVERYTHING I really can’t wait to see how it all plays out!!! 

anw we’ll get all the crazy scenes like the drugging part and the knifing parts PLUS BIRTHDAY SCENE TOMORROW - everything exciting is only happening tmr so let’s all prepare for death tomorrow friends!!! i’m just glad they’re moving things along but i’ve really got no idea how they’re gonna squeeze:

1. dao yi and hong ye

2. jack and zhao zi

3. tang yi and shao fei being happy and all and omelette scene and DOMESTIC HUSBANDS 

4. slightly more backstory to reveal the incident four years ago

5. tang guo dong + li zhen storyline briefly at least

6. li zhen and shao fei relationship 

... all in the next 7 episodes, which is like about 3 hours worth of screen time, i really got no idea

i really liked this episode though! really liked that we saw young tang yi and younger boss tang!!! <3

[aliferous-ly]

Find yourself and grow - bnha

this has nothing to do with the prompt but it inspired this s oooooooooo yup

Kirishima stared at the ceiling. An uncertain sort of energy thrummed through him, his eyes exhausted and bones like jelly but unable to close his eyes, his mind active but muted like a frizzled television.

He didn’t have the energy to get up but he didn’t have the ability to sleep, so Kirishima leaned over and grabbed his phone. Turning it on started a small headache right behind his eyes but Kirishima didn’t know what else to do, so he scrolled through a few social media sites, staring but not seeing.

A snapchat notification appeared at the top of his screen. [BROCCOLI BOI is typing…]

Kirishima narrowed his eyes and waited for the consecutive “BROCCOLI BOI has sent you a snap!”, but it never came.

He went to snapchat anyway, hovering over Izuku’s name for only a second before clicking.

[you] hey i saw u typing u up

Kirishima waited, hoping that Izuku was actually up and that snapchat didn’t glitch on him. Izuku’s profile bubbled, indicating that he was typing, and Kirishima let out a breath of relief.

[BROCCOLI BOI] yea sorry about that haha!

[BROCCOLI BOI] just a lil tired didnt want to bother u

[you] no worries i’m up too

[BROCCOLI BOI] you really should be getting sleep! sleep is incredibly important for lots of things

[you] i could say the same to u bro

[you] why u up?

[BROCCOLI BOI] why r u up?

[you] uh couldnt sleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] me neither

[you] ah

[BROCCOLI BOI] u should go to sleep tho

[you] u first

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can’t

[you] me neither

[you] i’m so tired i can’t get up but i cant fall asleep

[BROCCOLI BOI] wanna hang out in the lobby

[you] i just said im too tired to get up

[BROCCOLI BOI] but ur awake

[BROCCOLI BOI] i can carry u

[you] dude no i’m rlly heavy

[you] comes w the perks of being a literal rock

[BROCCOLI BOI] is that a challenge

[you] i mean go off deku

[BROCCOLI BOI] brt

“Oh my god,” Kirishima said aloud, running a hand down his face. “Oh man.”

Not a minute later he heard knocking before his door swung open, Midoriya genuinely standing in his threshold with All Might pajama pants and a plain red t-shirt.

Kirishima started sitting up, the fatigue receding for a moment as he laughed in shock. “I can’t believe you’re here, Midori– ah!” Kirishima yelped in surprise as Midoriya strode forwards and leaned down, placing his arms under Kirishima’s knees and behind his shoulders, picking him up effortlessly.

“Midoriya!” Kirishima threw his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders in shock, his body tensing instinctively.

A dusting of pink was brushed on Midoriya’s cheeks, but he said, “You aren’t that heavy, you know.”

Kirishima stared at him.

Midoriya shifted, then, looking more and more awkward. “I’m… I’m sorry? Uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Uh.”

“This is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me,” Kirishima said, in awe. And wow, this was not great for his mini crush, honestly.

Mini. Yeah, okay.

Midoriya’s flush grew deeper but he didn’t set Kirishima down, instead positioning him into a more comfortable hold and stepping away from the bed. “So, uh, to the commons?”

“Let’s go to the rec room,” Kirishima said. The commons was always colder than the rec room, being so close to the entrance.

“The rec room…?” Midoriya said slowly. “There’s…?”

“Holy– okay, Midoriya, prepare to have your mind blown,” Kirishima said, gesturing with one hand for emphasis. “It’s like the commons but with like, way more pillows, and a way better TV, it’s hidden though, and there’s a code, you gotta follow it, okay?”

“Alright,” Midoriya said, laughter in his voice. “Lead the way, then?”

Kirishima flushed and wrapped his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders and neck again. He could probably walk, especially after Midoriya hyping him up about the rec room, but who was he to turn down such a rare experience?

Kirishima led him through the hallways, Midoriya giving him strange looks when he told him to go through the boiler room to get there. They eventually reached a door with a wooden sign. Which, in reality, was more of a wooden slab pinned to the door. Burnt into the wood said “enter if you dare”.

Kirishima exuberantly gestured to the door. “Here it is! All your hopes and dreams behind these hallowed doors!”

Midoriya glanced at him, then turned his gaze pointedly at the wood, a blush creeping up his neck as he muttered, “doubt it.”

“Hey dude, okay, I gotta–” Kirishima struggled out of Midoriya’s arms, now wide-awake and excited. “Initiation. So. You are about to enter the former abode of the hero squad known as Burnout.”

Midoriya hide his smile at Kirishima’s grave expression and jazz hands.

“Burnout found this abandoned room years ago and renovated it. They’re inspirations, really, and there’s rules pinned around the room that we have to follow or the room will reject us,” Kirishima said, nodding seriously. “A main one: no telling teachers. Legend says a member attempted to inform a teacher and they were never seen again…” Kirishima said lowly, then added, “just kidding! They were unable to use their quirk for a few hours. And they lost the trust of everyone else, obviously.”

“That sounds easy enough,” Midoriya said, mind already running through the possible quirks with such a power. It would have to encompass the room, but also be able to effect any who knew about it – including technically him as well, unless the rules weren’t enacted until he entered the room itself. Then the quirk had to be able to cause losing another quirk for a select amount of time by spoken word, maybe? These rules sounded awfully hard to enforce, and –

“’Doriya, my dude,” Kirishima punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Stay with me my man, that was only one.”

“Ah, sorry!” Midoriya blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Rule number two,” Kirishima said, holding up two fingers. “No fighting. Real fighting, since it can tell the difference, somehow. Quirk usage is okay, but once it gets too… real, you gotta take it outside. That one makes you really tired, I know from experience.”

“…okay,” Midoriya said, deciding life would be easier the less questions he asked. Less time spent talking, the sooner they’d actually go in.

“Those are the most important ones I guess,” Kirishima mused, shrugging. “Alright, Midoriya, initiation over!”

Kirishima pushed the door open and beckoned Midoriya in, letting the door fall shut after Midoriya had entered.

“Welcome to the rec room!” Kirishima said proudly, like he was presenting a personal accomplishment.

The room could hold a decent amount of people while retaining that cozy size, with two couches, two recliners, and an uncountable amount of varying sizes and kinds of beanbags thrown about. Just as Kirishima promised, a large flat-screen sat on one wall, but a minifridge ran softly in the back of the room with a shaded window nearby.

“Wow,” Midoriya breathed. The walls were covered in old boards, giving the room a rustic feel.

Kirishima breezed by him and plopped onto one of the couches, sighing deeply. “Ah, it’s been too long.”

“When were you here last?” Midoriya asked.

“Two days ago,” Kirishima said. “Kaminari found it first, of course, so he told me and Sero, then Ashido because she beat him at arm wrestling, and Bakugou – I think Bakugou found it before all of us, honestly. Todoroki has totally been here before, too, the ice box in the mini fridge is always stocked – and maybe like, Tokoyami? Because that dude knows like, everything.”

Kirishima seemed to melt into the couch as he spoke, movements becoming more and more sluggish until he yawned. Midoriya took a step, hesitation pouring through his veins, because he didn’t want to intrude on Kirishima’s… on Kirishima.

Kirishima looked soft and pliable in a way Midoriya had never seen before, and the normally loud and expressive teen was… quiet, and tired, and yawning.

“Hey dude, wanna play like… video games or something?” Kirishima said.

“Maybe a movie,” Midoriya suggested, eyeing Kirishima’s drooping eyes as he finally made it to the couch and sat down gingerly.

“Dude let’s watch Pacific Rim,” Kirishima said. “You haven’t seen it, right?”

“I haven’t,” Midoriya said.

“Awesome.” Summoning energy from some deep energy source within him, Kirishima lurched from the couch and picked through a stack of movies next to the TV. While Kirishima was getting the movie ready, Midoriya glanced around the room.

Small post-its nailed – yes, nailed – to the wall littered the wood in pale yellow, pink, green, and the occasional green or orange pieces of paper. He read the nearest one to him: “Rule 31: if one of you little shits sticks ONE more piece of bubblegum to the ceiling you’re evicted”.

“Oh, yeah,” Kirishima said, noticing Midoriya’s gaze. “They added rules as time went on.”

Midoriya glanced at another one – a dark purple one with silver sharpie writing, sharp and jagged, with the words “Rule 12: NO SEX IN THIS ROOM YA NASTIES -from your neighborhood ace”.

Midoriya blinked, in surprise, shock, or embarrassment, or possibly a mixture of all three.

“I think the original three uh,” Kirishima cleared his throat. “Made a later member mad.”

“Oh my god,” Midoriya breathed, soft laughter falling from his lips.

Kirishima gazed at him for another second or two before flopping back onto the couch, pressing play. He was notably closer to Midoriya than when Midoriya had initially sat down, their arms almost (almost) brushing.

A few minutes in, Kirishima’s head dropped onto Midoriya’s shoulder.

By the fifteen minute mark, Kirishima was asleep.

Midoriya wasn’t sure how Kirishima managed to sleep through one of the most action-packed movies he’d ever seen, counting the All Might saga, without stirring once.

By the time the movie ended, Midoriya’s shoulder was asleep, but he didn’t dare move Kirishima – he looked softer, relaxed, while he slept, and Midoriya didn’t want to disrupt that.

However, after sitting in complete silence for a few minutes, TV black, Midoriya realized he’d have to move.

“Okay, Kiri,” Midoriya murmured mostly to himself, since Kirishima was sleeping. “Let’s get you back to your room.”

He propped Kirishima against the back of the couch and stood, cracking his back and rotating his shoulders, then leaned down and picked Kirishima up, throwing him over his shoulder. While the princess-hold had been great for dramatic effect and great because Midoriya got to see Kirishima’s expression, he wanted to have an open hand.

The halls were eerily quiet, as it was around three or four in the morning, but Midoriya’s stride was confident. He’d walked these halls at early times before.

Entering Kirishima’s room, Midoriya gently lay the teen on his obnoxiously colored sheets, pulling the comforter over his body and, unable to resist the temptation, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

He was almost out the door when a quiet, “Midoriya?” sounded from the bed.

He paused, door in hand, and tilted his head. “Yeah?”

“I really…” a yawn, then, “I really like you.”

Midoriya’s cheeks inflamed and he tensed, throat suddenly dry. He turned around completely, to craft a probably embarrassing babble of a response, but Kirishima was already sleeping again.

Midoriya shut the door as silently as he could, then sped-walked back to his room, having a mini-crisis.

He definitely wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.

[theyrejustbehindtheveil]

ML Secret Santa

Merry (belated) Christmas @nayawata it is I, your gifter for the @mlsecretsanta with a fic about the OTP

Paris, France | July

She graduates. One day, she is at université, and the next, she is not. The morning after her final exam, she slips downstairs for breakfast and instead finds an envelope.   

Her parents' latest attempt to stop her from being so easily scared is three months in a city she doesn't know with a language she barely speaks. All expenses paid. She leaves in three months. Merde. 

Sydney, Australia | October 

It’s a jarringly young city. Everywhere Mylène looks she expects to see historic architecture and instead sees nothing beyond the nineteenth century. Her auntie chatters good-naturedly from the drivers seat which is on the wrong side of the car. Everything is strange and it feels a little like she can’t breathe and she cant make a sound and she is so so glad when the car stops and she can get inside the house and play her song and feel like she is still at home. 

The first two weeks she only leaves the house with one of her cousins or aunts, too scared to venture outside without some kind of security net. They take her on outings every few days, doing the tourist shtick at what is probably their attempt to make her feel welcome. The multiple trips to the city aren’t too bad, but when they head anywhere else she feels off kilter. The ocean is too big and the countryside is too foreign. The suburbs are too sprawling and quite frankly she doesn’t even know where to start with the birds. 

November

She goes for a walk alone the first week of November. Three pictures of the waterfront reflecting the clear blue sky later and she realises she is lost. Very lost. She isn’t even sure which way is home. She would like to say she was brave enough to find her own way home but the truth is that pedestrian’s hassle her along until she crashes into something large and solid with an eep of surprise. 

The large and solid something responds with a grunt that shocks her into leaping back. And looks up. And up a little more to find the something’s face shuffled into a terrifyingly grumpy glare. She shrieks and cowers a little before the glare retreats into something a little closer to concern.   

She’s fumbling out an apology as best she can manage and trying desperately not to give in to the urge to flee when the man in front of her guides her gently to a bench. “Are you okay?” he asks and she can’t help but suck in a breath at his accent because it is wonderfully, blessedly French. 

“T’es Français?” She hopes he understands what she is trying to say. 

He starts in surprise. “Oui.” She can’t help the wave of relief that sweeps over her and switches to French for a more coherent apology. 

The guy’s name is Ivan and he doesn’t know how to get back to her aunts’ place, but his english is much better than hers and he is brave enough to ask for help and big enough to hide behind when the strangers get to be too much. Mylène thinks she quite likes this arrangement. It takes a full hour to find home, and she is glad for Ivan’s company.

He slips her his phone number moments before she shuts the door. Merde.

Three days pass before she even has the courage to save the string of numbers to her phone. Two more before she sends through a safe, neutral, hi this is mylene :) 

Ivan replies twenty-seven anxious minutes later.  hey mylene good to hear frm u  glad u hadnt lost my no

sorry, she replies 

dw i was jst disappted i might not get to see u again

oh i d like that

me too this wknd?

Deep breath.  yeah i d like that

sat 1pm we can try tht walk again?

yes please

He arrives at the front door at five minutes to the hour. She’s been ready for the past ten minutes, but she still jumps at the sound of the doorbell. 

This second walk is far better than the first, even if there are more people out on the weekend. They find their way to a market near a library and Mylène can’t help but feel a little nervous but Ivan is quietly reassuring. He buys her a little pin for her bandana and his face when she pins it straight to the fabric is something she really wants so see again.

She learns a lot about Ivan that day. He likes heavy metal, hates the heat, tries to be gruff and intimidating but cares too much to pull it off convincingly.   

She tells him about Paris, how scared she is of just about everything because so much of it is just too much a lot of the time, that she likes cats better than dogs, about her dad’s job, and that her deepest desire is to be brave.   

Ivan returns her confidences with the slightly ashamed admission that he is really not a cat person and Mylène giggles at his despondency before rushing to reassure him that she doesn't hold it against him. 

Later, she texts him. the cat thing is mostly because they re quieter  also because of the superhero he was kinda sweet

hte who

chat noir the paris superhero a couple years back in the news a lot both him and his partner total badasses in spandex

oh that superhero

i met him a few times he was at our school on superhero business n stuff he was really kind little dorky

that school that was awlays in the papers was urs?francis dupain or smth i almost went there

francois dupont yeah that was a crazy time scary too wait what dieu we might have been classmates thats so weird i was turned into one of the monsters one time

oh no

there was this mean girl she teased me and i ended up a monster

you could never be a monster mylene

no like an actual monster type creature monstrous from a horror movie pink jelly thing horrificater i scared people and kidnapped them i don t remember what happened much but everyone was really nice to me for a while after

wait the first time that was u in there

yeah that was me

wow working through that must have been hard

i had help chat noir came and talked to me a few times my parents really helped im glad u had that

December

There is no snow for Christmas this year. She gets a second summer instead, of the kind that Paris rarely sees. Ivan texts her every other day to complain about the heat. Her aunt takes her to the beach, and Ivan shows up in a pair of stupidly bright shorts that apparently were a gift from his sister. They make her laugh, and he grins. 

 you re really easy to talk to ivan um thanyk u no really it s really nice i like it

…

sorry if i made it weird i just mean t like we re friends i like talking to you

mylene its fine im sorry i dont take compliments v well it means a lot that u can say that thank u

He hands her a parcel a few days before Christmas. Inside is a pin she recognises from - oh. Its Ivan’s. From his favourite band. “You’re giving me this? Haven’t you had it since you were a teenager?” 

“I… I want you to have it, to remind you that you can be brave.” 

“Zombie Skull Crushers is going to remind me to be brave?” She hates the plaintive note that her voice holds.

“Yeah, doesn’t it just sound brave and badass, just like I know you can be?” 

She hugs him, tight and grateful.

“Thankyou, Ivan,” she chokes out. “It’s the best present anyone’s ever given me.” He hugs her back, gentle and easy as breathing. 

She almost forgets the parcel tucked into her bag but presses it into his hands right before she leaves. “Joyeux Noël, Ivan." 

Her parents fly in for Christmas itself. She goes to meet them at the airport and the moment she sees them both she runs for them. Her dad catches her as she leaps and her mum folds into the both of them and she burrows in between both of them and doesn't leave their side if she can help it from that point on.

Paris, France | January

She leaves for home with her parents. The plane lands and she gets off and everything is so wonderfully familiar but she feels strangely untethered. Her home is still much as it was when she left, and her room is identical save for more dust than normal. 

And she can’t quite work out what is missing until her phone buzzes insistently and she drops her unpacking to fumble for her phone and check the screen. 

They’re all from Ivan, and she realises as she reads through them it’s him she’s missing. He’s worked his way under her skin, going form imposing to reassuring too easily. 

miss u already mylene

Oh, merde 

i rly had a great time with you when i go back home to chatres in abt a month can i see u on the way thru

What?

Two months and it had never come up how close he lived to Paris. To her. And she want’s to see him again and isn't that incredible. Mylène doesnt know what she ever did to deserve such a gift but there’s only one thing she can do 

of course i want to see you too i didn t know you lived so close

His response is almost immediate  yeah crazy huh

A month of of texting back and forth follows. Ivan is beautifully poetic when he tries, and Mylène learns ever more about her new friend. When Ivan returns to France, he knocks on her door when she’s the only one home. 

“Hey,” he says, like. a month of separation hasn't stood between them like anticipation. She stretches her arms around his waist as far as she can and laughs with joy at the tidal wave of affection swamping her chest. He curls his much longer arms carefully, fondly, around her back.   

“I missed you. Please don’t ever stay away that long ever again,” she mutters earnestly into his chest. His arms tighten a fraction, before he shifts one hand to tilt her chin up so he can look her straight in the eye.   

“Never. I promise, Mylène, I won’t ever stay away from you for very long anymore. I don’t think I could.” 

She believes him when he looks at her like that, like he wants to see right through her eyes into her soul and know it intimately. Three days later he asks her on a date. 

She says yes 

They go for a walk.   

She tucks her hand in his and the world feels a little less terrifying when she does.

[dystovian]

Ok so, can I has meh a HC of how the boys would react to their female crush having a three legged mutt named Chicken? She just found the dog rummaging through trash in an alley way so she took him in and instantly fell in love. Now Chicken is super protective of her.

I totally went off track but that happens all the time but,,,here u go! Pidges one is rlly short and idk I just couldn’t think of what else to put

[Hunk:]

•have you ever wondered what hunk looks like when he’s crying? happy tears?•ok so basically you guys met at school and he would take u places every once in a while•and after a bit of going to his (I hc him as having 2 mamas) moms café, you said •"hey! you’ve never been to my place! Wanna come over?“•he’s like yeah sure why not•he’s crying because he’s going to his crush’s house•so you’re waiting up or him, jus chilling and he knocks on the door •you open it and your dog is like oh my gosh!!! someone’s here!!!! boof! •let the struggle….ensue•you have to use your knee to hold your dog back so he doesn’t jump all over Hunk•Hunk literally comes in, shuts the door behind him, and just GASPS•and he’s standing there and his excitement is boiling over the top and his lid is about to POP•and you just grin in embarrassment and scratch the back of your head, thinking, wow maybe he’s scared or allergic and I never asked•he goes "hiiiiii!!!” And puts his arms out and your dog runs through your legs and just flops into his arms and he’s literally crying•but,,,Chicken,,, doesn’t know how your relationship is with Hunk•currently Chicken is just excited to see someone new because he’s always been very kind and welcoming to others•so after you explain to Hunk how you found him and such, he immediately fell in love with Chicken and fell in love with you even more•so you guys go on the couch and he goes to put his arm around you while you’re watching a movie•and Hunk just hears growling and he gulps and turns and oh what do u kno•your 3-legged, Pitbull-Rottweiler, 10 month old puppy is baring his huge teeth and growling•ur not close with people like you are with Hunk so yr pretty surprised, and you pat hunks lap and the dog just gleefully goes over and lays across you two•Hunk PISSED himself I kid u not•he excused himself and texted Lance and Pidge•they laughed•when Hunk goes missing, you were at his mothers café, when they broke the news to you and you ended up breaking down into tears and just crying while his mothers comforted you and offered for you to stay with them for a while. Maybe until Hunk came home or when you felt better

[Lance:]

•HA•alright, here’s the thing, your dog is GIGANTIC•despite your puppy being quite young, their growth rate is crazy•you only know one part of your dogs mix unfortunately, but it sure does explain why they’re so large•a giant, 3 pawed Bernese Mountain Dog, mixed with something unknown•the dog at this point is taller than you while on back legs•anyway•you’re taking Chicken for a walk, getting him used to the whole,,, 3 legs thing. •you aren’t dating Lance at the time but you weren’t expecting to see him. a happy surprise.•you let your dog run around the park for a while, doing some homework on a picnic bench•"y/n? is that my favorite person ever!?“ And he runs over and sits beside you•he’s helping you with homework when he feels a light tug at his pant leg•and he’s like,,,haha *wink* you’re so crazy Y/n. In public? hmm I guess•and you’re like ????wat•YOUR DOG TUGS SO HARD LANCE GETS DRAGGED UNDER THE TABLE AND YOURE BOTH SCREAMING•you grab your dogs collar and you’re like omg let go stop it•your dog does and ho boi he is mortified•you also like Lance, so now you think, oh wow. he hates me now •and he says, after some silence and heavy breathing•"man, I love your dog”•he’s a sucker for big dogs and the fact your PUPPY is gigantic and soft and only has 3 paws? just even better•you tell him the story of how you found him, 4 months old, abandoned and eating raw chicken that was no doubt moldy, in a dark and unsanitary alleyway in New York (you were visiting friends)•he fell in love, with the dog and you•ended up asking you on a date while kissing your dogs face and you said YES•when he went missing, you saw it on the news. and immediately grabbed your dog and ran to his house•knocked on the door and one of his siblings answered, very obviously visible that they were just crying. and this is where YOUR, the reader, tears come in•Lance never shut up about you and told his entire family about you and they could easily recognize you because he’s so detailed about your features . Even told them about the dog•they immediately dragged you in and hugged you and you ended up spending a lot of time with them while they also fell in love with u, and Chicken.

[Shiro:]

•totally a dog man•like, he’s had many pets, mostly dogs of course and he loves them•your dog: a labrador-husky mix. bright blue eyes and golden fur. 8 years old•3 legs, a white prosthetic •you found him on the side of the road, he was abandoned at the age of 5•anyway, to begin•Shiro goes up to you in the library after a couple friends finally convince him to•and he’s like, hey, since yr my partner for the project and all, where should we meet?•and you’re like, hm, how about my place?•OKGKKF he nods a bit too excitedly but you exchange numbers and you text him the address •"the doors unlocked so you can just come right in" you text him•he goes aight,,,,, and he walks in and leaves his rained on sneakers at the door•and you’re in the kitchen making some grilled cheese w ham•and your tossin Ham at your dog, who’s jumping up to catch it•he chuckles because your standing there in pajamas and tossing your dog Ham like you’re scoring 3-pointers in basketball•and your dog just stood and books it over to Shiro and when you turn and your dog isn’t there you’re like ???? WHATDH•you look over the island and there’s your dog standing his ground against Shiro and Shiro’s like uh…hehheh•"omg chicken get over here" chicken goes back to normal and prances over to your •"little shit I swear to god"•Shiro’s like, I never thought I’d be scared of a dog before•you smile and go hug him and just hear more growling from over the counter and he’s like ohnyktidjd•you end up going to put the dog in your room because he’s not allowed in the living room and Shiro offers to just watch movies in your room while you guys work on the project•"I don’t wanna have him feel left out cos of me, yknow?“•"yeah you’re right”•you all fell asleep together no lie and if anyone was around they honestly thought it was the cutest thing (shiro drools and has lil light snores and he just looks adorable)•when he went missing, you were heartbroken and didn’t know who his family was because you never got to visit them•you ended up visiting Pidge because you became friends with Matt as well•you hugged Pidge and always took her out to but things and you also helped her sneak into the garrison•when he came back for like,a day, you were in Keith’s shack when they all got there because you wanted to know if he could get in contact with Pidge for you because you were sick from school•Shiro came in and when he woke up you were sitting beside him on the floor, head against his shoulder and your dog was on his thighs

[Keith:]

•American Bulldog puppy mix, that HE actually gave to you•he was setting up posters around the garrison because his neighbors dog was pregnant•you were one of 3 people to approach him, after like a month of it being up•he’s always liked you and he just like, sndjjsjsk, I can give it to you today•and he does, you walk with him to said neighbors and you take home the puppy •this was freshman year so the puppy is 1 year old now•and after you guys became decently close, he asked you to tutor him in Spanish•because compared to him your grades were a bit better and he refused to ask Lance because Lance wouldn’t even say yes?•but he ends up going to your house and knocking because he didn’t get the chance to ask at school, and you just let him in like it’s normal and you don’t even think it’s weird•and he comes in and as soon as he sits down here comes your dog, now 3 legged and slaps into Keith’s face•and he’s like WHAT•one, he forgot you had the dog•two, since when did the dog have 3 legs•turns out, one night the dog escaped and you couldn’t find him for hours•the dog ended up getting hurt and you had no choice but to take him to the vet, where they also had no choice but to remove his log•the dogs name was Wudley, but since the incident you tend to call him Chicken as his nickname•Keith hears about it nd is like, “I’m surprised you kept him, lots of people usually put disabled dogs up for adoption” •"I’d never do that. If it means he has a higher chance of getting put down then that’s just purposely putting him in a slaughter house"•Keith hugs you and his heart swells because you’re so sweet and kind and wow he likes you more than he thought•he hears Wudley growing and nip at his elbow and he just chuckles and plays with him and let’s just say he came over more often to “study Spanish”•by “study Spanish” I mean “play with Wudley for like,,,4 hours straight all the while getting to know you”•when he went missing you knew damn well that this classified info was aliens and ended up living in his shack and doing research while you’re dog stayed with u

[Pidge:]

•this one is a lot different •yr dog is half beagle half terrier•Pidge was walking their dog, and you were walking yours•you shout “omg! Hi Pidge!” •yes this is during the garrison, you were the same age but you went to a different school. you visited the garrison as a sort of field trip with your class and that’s how you two met•"hi Y/n! Is this your dog?“ •your dog stops and just stares and you guys are literally 10 feet apart and you’re like ????•you didn’t notice Pidges dog yet bcos u also have a crush on Pidge and were currently paying more attention to them•Chicken goes full speed at Pidges dog, and they end up fooling around•the two of you end up talking for at least an hour, while sitting on a bench•you play games on your phones and ask each other questions to get to know each other even better than before•next thing you know you both here growling and each dog is growling at one of you. Pidges dog at you, Chicken at Pidge•you panic and apologize and pick up your dog and Pidge says "oh no it’s okay my dog usually doesn’t do this either so I should apologize”•you guys literally apologize to each other for 4 minutes before you just laugh•when Pidge goes missing you end up visiting their mother, sometimes watching their dog as well and doing chores while Mrs.Holt recovers•she lost her whole family, man

[vanteism]

jin as your boyfriend

______________

i think my heart melted :’) you guys are welcome to send in requests!!!!! the more the merrier :^)

[bazzledazzled]

Klance headcanons???

Ahhh I’ll try my best anon!!!! Hopefully these are good enough for you!!!!

*breaths in deeply*

OKAY SO HERE’S THE THING

RIGHT NOW WE KNOW THAT OUR LITTLE SPACE DORKS ARE IN A BIG MESS

I MEAN THEIR SPACE DAD, I meant leader. Leader (I meant Space Dad™) JUST RANDOMLY DISAPPEARED??? LIKE WHAT THE FRICK SHIRO HOW ARE YOUR CHILDREN SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE????

And now all of that power of the Space Dad™ has been forced onto the emo son Keith

So like ye t e n s i o n

Not to mention that Insecure!Lance is a real thing that actually exists in the universe

So ye like um Klance probably has a lot of emotions rn????

Like so many wow wow wow

But like okay so you know how in s2 it seemed like Keith and Lance were always apart from each other and didn’t share another Bonding Moment???

Well this is how Pinning!Lance is revealed to Lance

Lance misses Keith

He misses interacting with him and just overall joking around

He misses kinda just picking on him and stuff

Like he tries to but Keith’s heart isn’t in it????

Keith has a TON of other things to worry about now

And y’know Lance starts to kinda miss being around Keith

He just suddenly wants to be close to Keith

Idk

But like then you know how sometimes at like 3am or something you’re sitting in the dark, contemplating life

And you realize things

Like a lot of things

Like how some people don’t deserve to be so handsome

Or have the most daring smile that you would do anything for

Or have the perfect body and somehow manage to have not a blemish on their face even though they don’t do the complicated skin care treatment you do like what the frick nobody deserves to look that perfect

And when you imagine your future with someone, it’s not some nameless faceless girl or something

It’s Keith.  

Keith?

K e i t h?

KEITH????

KEITH???

KiEtH?

Ew why would Lance like Keith he’s a butt and a total show off he just thinks he’s cool with his awesome jacket and odd mullet??? Like what’s with the mullet this is the 21st century we’re talking about here

And his stunning eyes

And his rare laugh…

HOLY FRICK

Lance McClain is in love with Keith Kogane

O h

S c h n i t z e l

So like Lance has a super mega freak out cuz no that’s a big no no Keith will never return his feelings why would he it’s freaking Keith Kogane the most awesome half alien to ever exist like how could Lance ever be worthy????

So like y’know he tries to stop F E E L I N G S

(But we all know how well that goes)

And basically he just has an awful time just trying to stop him from falling and will blush whenever Keith’s eyes meet his

But ofc Keith my oblivious little space emo son has no idea????

But pretty much everyone on team Voltron knows

Like I think Shiro, wherever he is (My theory is that he’s on a relaxing beach watching the sunset as little alien friends bring him food and getting THE FREAKING BREAK HE DESERVES) knows

Just… they know

Hunk tells Lance one day and is just like “Dude just kiss him already ur gonna drive yourself crazy.”

Pidge says, “You’re so gross and in love Lance ew.”

No comment could be said about Allura but she has her little mice working behind the scenes to make the ship happen

Because honestly

Team Voltron WANTS it to happen

They kinda start to sense that Lance and Keith are just… not who they used to be

Their smiles aren’t as bright

Their laughs are rarer

Lance hasn’t flirted with a girl in at least 3 days wtw is this

And they just want their teammates to be happy

Bc they’re good friends

And they think if Klance happened then maybe it would help them

Except they have no idea how to do that

They have secret meetings that are dedicated to figuring out how to get them together

But honestly they don’t want to mess with their lives too much or force them to do anything they don’t want to 

Thus continuing this never ending cycle

BUT

OKAY BUT

(this next part is probably 110% based on me and @alexfierrno’s RP)

So I think it’s a common thing in the fandom that Lance has like 25,000 sisters????

Idk

But ye

So anyway you cannot tell me that the Galra empire isn’t gonna look into everything they can about the paladins and find out who their families are

They just will

And they already have Pidge’s brother and I think dad so they’re good there

Hunk they kinda just like eh??? I mean I think they even think he’s too pure cuz Hunk is a cinnamon roll

Nobody knows anything about Keith’s family not even the earthlings

But Lance on the other hand

He has a big family and they’re practically everywhere

Ones like a professional women’s basketball player or something

Someone’s an actor or something

Someone is the student body president at school

And basically they were easy to find

Now for some reason the Galra thought that maybe, idk possibly they could know something

So they kidnap, or abduct u could say, one of Lance’s younger sisters

Eventually team Voltron finds out and then they pretty much do a whole rescue mission and blah blah blah

But anyway u got Lance’s little sis running around and Lance is a little happier and they’re both like super hyper like if you thought Lance was bad wait until you meet his sister and them together is a very bad idea

But anyway

Sisters notice things

A lot of things

Like feelings

Like secret crushes

That Lance is in love with Keith

Badly

So she gets very pushy and is just overall a sibling and keeps teasing him about it, but at the same time tries to give advice and tell him to go for it cuz what’s the worst that could happen????

And eventually

Through a lot of sibling persuasion

And maybe a bit of blackmail

Just a smidge

Lance finally talks to Keith

“Hey Keith can I… talk to you about something?”

Keith shugs and meets Lance in the hallway

He’s so confused because he’s never seen Lance so nervous before

And Lance is just regretting everything and he already knows Keith is going to say no because why would someone like Keith ever want to date him???

“Keith I–” but Lance is at a loss for words

Nothing comes out

Now Keith is worried

He puts a hand on Lance’s shoulder

“Lance. Are you okay?”

“No,” Lance admits

“Do you want to tell me?” And when Lance looks into Keith’s eyes, he knows he’ll listen

“But what if you don’t want to know?” Lance asks innocently

“I want to help, Lance. If there’s anything–”

“I like you.” It slips out. It was out of Lance’s control

“I like you too?” Keith says, obviously confused

“No I mean… like you like you.”

Keith looks very confused for like five ticks

Then he suddenly understands

He looks Lance dead in the eyes, his face serious

“I like you too.”

Then, Lance starts laugh a sad laugh

“Haha. Good one Keith.”

“What I–”

And that’s when everything starts to fall apart

Lance starts to cry

Keith’s so surprised because like what the frick is this??? What’s wrong with Lance this isn’t the Lance he knows.

So Keith is just so confused on how he should help Lance

They he decides to hug him

At first it takes Lance by surprise but then he welcomes Keith’s tight embrace and it almost, almost feels like he’s home again

They kinda just stand like that for a while as Keith waits for Lance to kinda just calm down

And then Lance is apologizing to Keith and Keith just says, “You don’t have to apologize, Lance. Just promise me you’ll come to me if you need it.”

Lance nods his head and lets a smile trickle onto his lips

And then

Ever so gently

Keith kisses him

And Lance feels safe and worth something and everything seems to be locked in that kiss. The sky, the stars, the entire universe.

That’s when they realize they can’t live life without each other

THE

END

:D

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

==>

TG: no i rememba TG: i tiznold u a mizzle tinizzles shit sounds like it could be tha best mackin' EVAAAAAR TG: * wherein evars capze' as heck TG: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. bizzle also T-H-to-tha-izzat no matta how off tha hook it might be TG upside yo head: its probly gonna advance all tha schemes of "ha condescension" 

TT: Rizzle. Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. TT: But if we can stizzle ha? 

TG, ya feel me? pizzart of me D-to-tha-izzoesnt evizzle wiznant ta G-to-tha-izzive motherfucka tha satsfactizzle TG: of stizzle up at all TG: like if we dizzle wuolndt thiznat wizzy cracka shizzle jiznust so hiliariously??? TG: so many olols 

TT: I must be H-to-tha-izzard of count'n, coz I'm barely weed-smokin' up a single goddamn o-laugh-out-loud at T-H-to-tha-izzat self-defeat'n gestizzle.

TG yeah yeah baby: no bizzle it would TG: n fo` all we know start'n it up be crack-a-lackin` right 'n wanna be gangsta claws with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back. TG: cizzle be a trap waintin fo` jane tha moment she enters TG: if i stop ha from play'n TG: mizzle i could at lizzy give ha a CHANCE at a future 

TT: Bizzle T-H-to-tha-izzere be no future on Earth fizzy them. TT: Or fo` us, fo` tizzy matta, know what im sayin? 

TG: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. dunno that fo` a fact TG: bizzle anywaaaayyyy TG: i kinda already TG: made dis bogus F-to-tha-izzile fo` ha 

TT: What? Drop it like its hot. Why cuz Im tha Double O G? 

TG: 2 scare tha shit out of ha TG: miznake ha learn ta fear an respect thizzay fuckin hag like shizzle should TG: thizzle miznaybe we can drizzle this whizzay 'n gizzy mizzle sizzy reserection idea all 2 geth TG: sweet tho it may bizzy 

TT: Rizzle. TT fo yo bitch ass: I hizzle yoe nizzle think'n 'bout send'n ha one of yo' batshit ~ATH sizzy. 

TG: on T-H-to-tha-izzas sobject TG: i be miss zuippizzles 

TT: Miss Zuipperpips so show some love, niggaz! TT: Tha amount of senze you havizzle been mak'n be un-fuck'n-real. TT: Drop it like its hot. Just go take a nap. N don't evizzle think 'bout sippin' ha thizzat file. TT: Be you gang bangin'? 

TG: hnnn TG: i will takes what u sizzle TG: undizzle serisous advicement..., TG: *WIZNONK* ~_? 

TT: Jesus. 

TG: dirk TG: Drop it like its hot. when dizzay yizzle stop bein any fizzun 

TT: Whizzle? 

TG: One, two three and to tha four. it uze ta be youd git a kick out off a slunt like thizzat TG: *S-T-U-to-tha-izzunt 

TT wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: Dawg, you K-N-to-tha-izzow I'm dizzle wit insane stunts. TT: Insane stunts be practically all I'm all 'bout. TT: As L-to-tha-izzong as I actually AGREE wit the purpoze they're intended ta sizzle. TT so show some love, niggaz! Pimpin' Jane computa n dissuad'n ha from play'n be not such a purpoze.  

TG n shit: betcha ur responda would agree w me TG: whizzle cant your be mizzore lizzay him 

TT: I be more like him. 

TG: i mean MOAAAR like hizzy 

TT: Yizzy jizzust mispelled "more", crack-a-lackin` me ta suddizzle understand jack everyth'n. 

TG: hes more 'n touch wit his feelins TG: which just makes me L mah FA off sizzince hizzy a bobot TG: *robob TG: **bobob TG dogg: n he can actizzle loosen up somizzles TG droppin hits: kinda like u uze' ta could  

TT: I uze' ta cizzy? 

TG: fo` 1 pimpin' TG yaba daba dizzle: he dizzy insta shootdown a bizzle of frisky rp shizzles now n tizzy ;) 

TT: Y-to-tha-izzeah... TT: I K-to-tha-izzind of wish you W-to-tha-izzouldn't do that with him hittin that booty. 

TG: whizzle tha f nizzot 

TT: It just seems a shawty tawdry n disrizzle. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. TT: And vaguely exploitative of a still-emergent cognitizzle entitizzle, whoze perceptional frame of referizzle be difficizzle fo` us ta comprehend. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. 

TG: oh come on TG keep'n it real yo: hes coo' a homey just liek you its just he lives 'n sizzle shadizzles 

TT: It rubs me tha wrong wizzay, be all so jus' chill. 

TG: ohhhh TG: Bounce wit me. do uuuuuu... Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. TG: WANT me 2 riznub yizzy thizzle riznight way ;D 

TT and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: Niznot R-E-A-Double-Lizzy. 

TG: zzz muh TG so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: yizzle ova blowin dis TG bitch ass nigga: its jizzay an ironic funnizzle th'n we do some times TG: Holla! cizzle on im sure you rizzead tha transcripts ursizzle TG: its all alot of jokizzle buiishit 

TT: He blizzay me from bein able ta read transcripts sometimes.

TG: oh TG: wow he does? TG: sneaky bizzle 

TT: And anywizzle, I'm reallizzle nizzay sure hiznow irizzle it be. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. 

TG in tha dogg pound: ok N-to-tha-izzext tizzle i will run it by tha MASTAR first TG: wit his fancy fuckizzle ironimeta 

TT: Ok, here tha crack-a-lackin` wit tha AR, since you still don't seem ta get it aww nah. TT: He vizzle similar ta me 'n thought process n behavior, yes. TT: Bizzut thoze pattizzles were imported from a thizzle year old versizzle of mah pizzy, n then sizzle into thizzle program as start'n nigga. TT: 'n tha yizzears since, we've both evolved somewhat. I, as humans tend ta, n he, in whateva wizzay be natizzle fo` a frequently straight trippin', self-aware application. Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. TT: So if there be differences bizzle us, thizzle first reflectizzle by whizzle I feel be a maturity gap, n tizzy rappa by several years of minor behavioral divergences. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. 

TG: omg... TG: hes 13yo dizzirk TG: Boo-Yaa! why did tizzy not occizzle ta me thizzay be so skanky TG: n mizzles me feel K-to-tha-izzinda skeevizzle 4 sayin anything lascivious @ him TG: dammizzle you rizzuin everyth'n! 

TT: Yoe welcome droppin hits. TT: Yo, you gizzuys realize I cizzy hear yizzle, R-to-tha-izzight droppin hits? 

TG: pfffffhahizzle 

TT: Yizzes, I wizzay awizzle fo gettin yo pimp on. TT cuz this is how we do it: Cizzy out all these complicated fuck'n problizzles thugz have when T-H-to-tha-izzey hizzay ta lizzle in bizzle lumbering fleshmonsters instead of a sweet pizzle of shades. TT: Dizzle, d-ya tizzy you cizzle sit dis one out fo` a while? Dis conversation practically doesn't even concern yizzay at dis point now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe. TT: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. It seems there is some gnarly crizzle bitch that represents tha percentizzle of probability you just said this doesn't concern me. TT: Even though it patently obvious that half tha convizzle, lizzay, wizzay totally concizzles me. TT: Chill as I take you on a trip. Shit, Roxizzle liznook paper'd up. He's do'n tha th'n where he ironically pretizzles ta fail tha Tur'n test ta sass me into submission. TT: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Even though I was tha one whizzle perpetratin' programmed him to do that. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. 

TG upside yo head: ell TG: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. emm TG: eff TG: ayy TG paper'd up: OFF~~!~ TG: like mah butt be juts thizzay on tha fizzy TG: be how hard i elled it off just now 

TT: (Nizzle peekin' at tha flizzoor butt cauze I'm onlizzle 13 years old, motherfucka.) 

TT: Dis be fuckin' dumb and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. TT: I'm go'n ta leave both of you ta interact howizzle yizzay want fo' sho'. I have impizzle shizzle ta deal wit n actual responsibilities ta takes seriously. TT: Roxizzle, go nap off yo' drizzay, or aggressively wage anotha chillin' campaign, whateva, I diznon't cizzle. TT: J-to-tha-izzust dizzay sizzle that fiznile ta Jane, ok? 

timaeustestify [TT] ceaze' crack-a-lackin` tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

> Dirk: Takes actual responsibilities seriously.