#((u just lmk about that too))

[masakianzai]

BONUS CHAPTER WHERE SAKURA MAKES OMURICE?? SAKURA LEARNS TO COOK CHAPTER? ALL MY DREAMS COMING TRUE??

[karamazovanon]

you cannot exhume a soul

— "Either he will rise up in the light of truth, or … perish in hatred, taking vengeance on himself and on everyone else for his having served that in which he does not believe" (The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky tr. McDuff, p. 837)

[littleplantfreak]

Something Comforting - Sakura Haruka

It's a song fic! Actually I used two songs. If you're not caught up on the manga it has some light spoilers so read at your own risk!

It's sfw and it's angst/comfort/some third thing but it's 3am. Under the cut cause its 1500 words

Summary: Sakura's been having nightmares and his friends are concerned.

Quick note and I wont bother y'all till the end: The song lyrics are in bold and italics in case you're confused. The two songs are "Someone to stay" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic and "Something Comforting" by Porter Robinson

You were alone left out in the cold

Clinging to the ruin of your broken home

Sakura Haruka wasn't a stranger to be alone. Pretty much everything could be done without help if you try hard enough. If you struggle hard enough. If you don't have the expectation of help, that someone will come at just the right moment, getting things done begins to seem easier and easier. Why reach out when the answer will be no? Why spend time wondering why nothing is getting done, when you can do it on your own? There's no point relying on anyone when you're perfectly capable and have been for as long as you can remember.

But he came to Furin

And someone came at the right moment.

Sakura Haruka is not alone.

You've been fighting the memory, all on your own

Nothing washes, nothing grows

He sleeps through every class on Monday. No one really worries too much the first day. After all, they'd just had the fight with Noroshi and there isn't a body in Furin that's completely healed up yet. Once he sleeps past patrols every day for three days straight, Nirei starts to notice the dark circles under Sakura's eyes staying dark. Maybe even increasing in intensity. Speaking with Suo, they start to notice Sakura's not eating as much as he used to. They push here and there to make sure he eats something, but his heart isn't quite in it. The whole class begins to notice too.

"Sakura-san?" Nirei asks on their way to the cafe.

"Hmm?" He's watching the ground as he tries to stifle another yawn.

"Have you been having trouble sleeping?"

"...Not really." He's lying.

"Are you sure?" Suo presses, following up on the other side of him. "You drooled all over your math test earlier. It was stuck to your face for five minutes before you noticed." Nirei can tell he's trying to sound teasing, but there's no goading to his tone right now.

"Been waking up a few times. 's not a big deal." A yawn so big his next step is hindered and he's tripping on his own feet. Both boys nearly catch him, but he catches himself. "I'm fine." Sakura says shaking off some of his exhaustion.

Too lost and hurting to carry your load

We all need someone to hold

He's suffocating again. He thinks he is at least. The pain isn't right, but the lack of air is. Thrashing and grabbing for his throat, he is trying. To relieve the pressure. To choke out the words that come out in pathetic watery cries. I'll go with you.  He can't get the words out. Everything is static and loud and he can only make out his inky black hair tendriling closer and swallowing him up in a gaping maw darkness.

The panic he feels upon waking is made worse by the urge to hurl the remains of what little dinner he's had. "Stupid." He whispers, wiping the sweat off his face he crawls to the bathroom and rests his head on the cold tile.

Cause getting made you want more

and hoping made you hurt more

oh there must be

something wrong with me

"Pardon the intrusion!" Suo calls in as Sakura is mid-bite in his convenience store noodles.

"You sure this place ain't haunted? Lookin' real haunted right now..." a loud, spooked voice belonging to Tsugeura follows as he clings behind Suo.

"Sakura- ah he's already eating! We brought food from Kotoha's too though if you're hungry after." Nirei pops his head in and drags a bunch of bags towards the kitchen.

"Pretty minimalist huh, Sakura-chan?" Kiryu whistles while checking out the bare apartment. It's matter-of-fact rather than an insult, not that Sakura cares. A grunt comes from Sugishita at the end of the line looking nonplussed. Sakura isn't sure whether he should get up and do something or chase them out. He's never had this many people in his apartment and it's crowded even more by the luggage they're all toting with them.

"Did all ya get kicked outta yer houses or somethin'?" He asks mouth still full.

"Ah not quite!" Nirei takes the lead to explain. "We wanted to have a sleepover to celebrate...I guess...if that's alright with you..." he trails off losing some of his initial enthusiasm when Sakura's bewildered expression doesn't change.

"Right and we figured your place is the best choice," Kiryu begins setting up a rolled sleeping bag in the corner. "You are our grade captain after all." Suo has taken to the kitchen, filling it with various things from both Cafe Pothos and extra food the locals handed them on the way there. Sugishita sets a potted plant on the counter with only a "Kalanchoe" before he points to the care card stuck in the dirt.

"Uh, bless you?"

"Umemiya-san sent it. Said it's real easy to take care of," Tsugeura says plopping on the floor, legs crisscrossed as he opens a protein drink. Sakura would normally refuse and argue with them on the various fluttering around they're doing in his apartment but the energy just wasn't there. He continues eating, humming or using short, one-word answers to the variety of questions each person throws his way. His space has been claimed completely by his friends and by the end of the night, they've taken up every inch of floor space. Once the lights are out, there's a faint glow of blue from the corner where Nirei's installed a small nightlight he insisted he needed to have when sleeping. Next to that was a small white noise machine Kiryu plugged in although he himself was curled up with headphones in.

Sakura curls up on his futon to when he feels his head his something softer than normal. A double take confirms there's a pillow where his head should be and he drags his eyes around trying to figure out which one of his friends misplaced it.

"I think it's an extra. Use it since everyone else has one." Suo whispers from above where Sakura's head is before closing his eyes again. It's flatter than a normal pillow. Do they even make them like this? Sakura isn't sure it's normal but he can't really find a place to put it with four other boys spread out around the room. Sugishita to his right and Nirei to his left, while Kiryu and Tusgeura are stacked somewhere on the other side of sugishita. So he settles on it and listens to the weird but kind of alright music coming out of Kiryu's machine.

And getting made you want more And hoping made you hurt more Someone tell me Something comforting

He's drowning this time, before he jolts up in the futon. Instead of darkness, the light shows everyone around him soundly knocked out and he takes a steady breath before laying back in bed. The machine is still making noise with something like waves going in the background now. He feels two soft thumps on his back where Sugishita is set up. He hears him pick up his head and gravels out a "You're good." Not a question, and another thump as Sugishita's head hits the floor again. Sakura becomes acutely aware that Suo's head is closer to the top of his pillow, now to the point where his hair brushes near his own head. Nirei is also closer than before and has been gripping Sakura's shirt as he's curled up.

Despite his heavy breathing earlier, it's actually easier to breathe once he takes into account the bodies around him. He slows his breathing to match someone else's though he doesn't pay attention to whose, and his eyes are being pulled shut again, his body desparate for sleep. For the first time in more than a week, Sakura sleeps deeply through the rest of the night.

By the time everyone wakes up and files out after breakfast, there are a few things left behind that Sakura's not sure what to do with. He reads the care card for the plant and shoots Kotoha a couple questions on the specifics. No one in the group chat ever claims the pillow he used, or the shampoo and conditioner he finds unopened in the shower. The nightlight and white noise machine were left with both Nirei and Kiryu saying they have seconds at home and to keep it there for next time they sleep over. The same sentiment comes from Tsugeura about the set of small hand weights Sakura's been making sure not to trip over in the mornings.

His apartment starts to look more and more full as it becomes a place where small parties and gatherings are held. Whether gifted or left accidentally", he usually has something new to move around the next day. Sakura isn't sure when, but at some point someone hung up curtains when he wasn't looking despite knowing for a fact it would've been a half an hour job at least.

Sakura Haruka is not alone.

He's pretty okay with that too.

_______________

So sorry if there are typos im so tired and spent long enough just making sure the format was decent enough. Also I've never written this many words all at once before so that's cool! Some writing notes if anyone's interested!!

Kalanchoe's name apparently comes from a latinized corruption of the chinese Kalan Chau for "that which falls and grows" which i thought sounded cool to put in! It also symbolizes endurance and persistence (as well as affection and love but like...every flower/plant is like that usually it just depends on which flower language you're going off of.)

Sugishita was the one who left hair stuff in the bathroom after finding out Sakura only uses like...a bar of soap or a 3-in-1 to wash his hair. Like an animal or something ಠ_ಠ

Kotoha put the curtains up with Umemiya while everyone dragged Sakura to the convenience store for snacks one day. It actually took three days for him to notice.

Suo ends up bringing a teapot and leaves to leave(lol) at Sakura's because he's not using regular tea bags every time he comes over smh

I think both Kiryu and Nirei bring plushies over and "forget" them every time. They both also eventually put up pictures they either took on their phones or got at photo booths. Absolute mad lads at scrap booking and cork boarding

Also ive never done a song fic kinda thing before? i used to hate reading them and now look how the turntables. It's 3:39am goodnight!

[gravesung]

feeling a little bit weird and lonely tonight @_@ catch me on disco if u need me! ✌🏼

[puppybong]

https://www.tumblr.com/puppybong/758740404568014848/the-really-cool-thing-about-going-from-nearly

i’ve always been really skinny and have had a couple eating problems, and this is sorta my goal. so, this might be weird but, thank you for posting that. really, thank you. it gave me hope

protein powder is your friend OK? & stay away from those body builder influencers they’ll make you feel insecure about your progress. i got into calisthenics when i started taking recovery seriously and it’s a really awesome way to start. i love you

[aropride]

ok well we know that jesus can emit pure light as he did when he was in his tomb + i assume the light is holiness or joy or purity (considering his spirit was in heaven but his body had died in sin) (considering his body was holy but his spirit was drowning in unquenchable fire).. thinking about the version of jesus i made up in my head who's way cooler and more transgender and i think he would emit sparks and a glowing electric light if you fucked him and i think it would inspire an unfathomably intense lust

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[palladium-poisoned]

tag game: make a poll of your favourite female characters (no limits - as many or as little as you want) and see which your followers like the most!

tagged by @dekarios

tag you're it! @primordialwhale @futureshieldmaiden @queenflorence @seedystreet @thepreciousthing @zheida

and anyone else who feels like it asldkjfgh

[torahtot]

sth that always frustrates me is when people on here say things like "jewish ppl u can let go of connection to israel bc you can be at home in the countries you live in!" and someone responds with a whole essay on how antisemitism is alive and well.. bc that still accepts the original premise. you're saying yes, i agree, we would not feel a connection to the land if antisemitism didn't exist, but it does. this ignores the root misconception that makes someone say things like that, which is that they deny (or simply don't realize/understand) our connection to the land, which transcends the existence of antisemitism in the diaspora. walk into any orthodox school that doesn't even consider itself zionist, and you'll find the kids having conversations with their teachers about how to reconcile feeling comfortable in galut with the desire to properly mourn the beit hamikdash & yearn for mashiach so that we can return. this isn't metaphorical in the slightest; many of them will make aliyah whether mashiach comes or not (and it won't have anything to do with secular zionism or antisemitism). eradicating antisemitism in the diaspora would never change the fact that we are in galut. if they were smart they would actually shift the conversation to why we don't need an explicitly/exclusively jewish state in order to live safely & thrive in eretz yisrael, but they won't bc a) that would require accepting the validity of our connection to it and b) they consider it "validating settler fears" or wtvr the fuck. so instead they will continue to be totally inept at realpolitik solutions & fail to see eye to eye in conversation with jews bc they fundamentally misunderstand.. everything about us.

[defensivelee]

every time i reread seraph of the end i go feral and im just brainrotting about kureto hiragi (big nice tortured heir from a rich family/cult) and crowley eusford (literally a vampire who used to be a crusader need i say more)

but also brainrotting about my stuart au about seraph of the end like oUGHH,,, OUGHhHH!!! SO MANY IDEAS!!!!

and then i never write them down :( even tho theyre like some of the most heart wrenching shit i've ever come up with

[starite-wishes]

yeah whatever. here have this

fucked around with a creature that came to me in my dreams

[cheriboms]

what if i told you that i had a 500+ page google doc chronicling my efforts to transcribe the bttf telltale game into a full script line by line

[charrfie]

howdy laika! for that ask game, spamton with 17, 22, 23, 24?

LONG POST INCOMING PLEASE READY YOURSELF

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

See this is a tricky question bc I wouldn't say I truly LIKE any spamton ships really; they all don't work for me for one reason or another. But I'm fine with seeing some* of them regardless because I do view a majority of them as having been a part of his history? Like him and swatch for example. I do not enjoy that ship or actively take part in it but do I think there was something going on there during spamtons big shot years??? Yeah. Do I have a problem with anyone that does enjoy it? No. Kind of a non-answer but it's the best I've got

* = "Some" excluding any addison ships (bc I personally view them as siblings) and also ones that aren't morally gross, obviously

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

OH BOY AM I A FIC READER. For the past month or so as my hyperfixation on spam has ramped up in severity again I've been trying to read every spamton centric fic that's ever been written and wow has it been a journey. So as for what I like!! The easiest answer to this is probably just the general statement of "when people write him how he is in canon." It's surprisingly rare to see him written in such a manner but is always a nice surprise when he is. Not only do I say this in relation to his character as a whole, but his speech patterns too! Which- admittedly- are extremely difficult to get the hang of! So I understand if people aren't super well versed in it and can't write him accurately in that manner. But it's my favorite thing ever when people do.

As for the second part of this question, I think the most glaring thing I hate when it comes to fics about him is just how often he's infantilized. It's SHOCKING how often it happens. Sure sure, he can be silly no doubt about it, but he's a grown man in his 40s and has experienced so much awful shit. Can we knock it off with treating him like he's a newborn or is stupid?? In the same breadth is when people make him excessively kind or sweet right off the bat... like is he not kind of an asshole??? I think its perfectly fine to embrace that fact; him being morally gray adds SO much to his character! Dare I say a lot of people who enjoy his character wouldn't have been intrigued by him without it, so I don't know why that element of his character is so often neglected. Same with his small moments of kindness/humanity; they wouldn't hit as hard if he was like that the whole time. Idk. I'm kind of picky about writing and literature so I have a lot to say sorry lol

23. Favorite picture of this character?

If we're talking about canon art of him only then I will forever be thinking about this gif of him. It makes me crazy. Same with this drawing toby did of him, you people have no idea the damage it does to me

If fan works are included... then this piece by @fatspamton is my absolute favorite picture of spamton EVER and it has been for the longest time, no question about it. It's exactly how I see him in my head and he looks so charming in it T_T <3 All of this artists spamton art (and other art/music too!!) is absolutely worth looking at if you ask me; the way he draws spam is unbelievably perfect, I think about all of its works of him very often :"^]

24. What other character from another fandom of yours reminds you of them?

Going to be honest I've been stumped on this one. I don't think I have any answer?? There's no guy that takes up my brain space which is similar enough to him for me to say in full confidence "yeah x is like him," sorry!

[cyberfunsupporter]

i’m gonna speak my truth honestly i don’t see yeri as a turtle or an otter. i see turtle more than i see otter but to me she just looks like a cat LOL its actually kinda weird that reve doesn’t have a member that’s a cat? i think yeri really looks like one… in rookie she looks like a baby cat ☹️💜 come on

i just don’t really see the otter comparison. i think people compare otters to yeri because otters are really cute and so is yeri but the genre of cute to me is different. i’ve seen others who look more like otters and yeri’s definitely not one of them. she is soooo cat. her eyes are kind of feline to me idk and her mouth literally goes :3 😸 when she smiles. if that’s not cat to you then idk… also the way cats age reminds me of her if that makes sense. she is a baby cat till reve festival era then she’s a cat 🐈 for real now… idk just the way they look throughout that YERI JUST LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE A CAT IDGAFF more proof below ⬇️

[stolenslumber]

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (preview)

Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you're just the person for the job— seriously, you're almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin's friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. You have strict rules, though: (1) you'll only pretend to be someone's girlfriend on three occasions, maximum, (2) nobody is allowed to catch feelings, and (3) you get three favors in return. Too bad Jay is hellbent on breaking every last one of them.

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: fake dating, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, acquaintances to partners in crime to fake relationship to lovers i guess? lol, jake is your twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, (eventual) kissing and suggestive content WORD COUNT: ~2.3k (preview), final word count TBD but likely long knowing myself PUBLISH DATE: probably in the next two weeks!

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO NICE?” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You scoff, tossing the apple you were just about to eat at Jake’s head. Annoyingly, he catches it in mid-air, then makes a show out of polishing it with his shirt and taking a big bite out of it. “Hey, I was going to eat that, asshole.”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it at me, then.”

You roll your eyes at your twin, then go to retrieve another apple from the fruit bowl. It’s surprisingly well-stocked, given that you’re in a frat’s kitchen. Honestly, it’s surprising that there even is a fruit bowl in a frat’s kitchen, but the president of this frat runs a tight ship.

Said president appears in the doorway just then, snatching the apple from your hands as well as the one from Jake’s hands. “Guys, seriously, you have to wash these before you eat them.”

You and Jake both whine simultaneously. “Chan!”

“I already took a bite out of that, bro,” Jake complains.

“I’m starving, please have mercy,” you beg.

Chan whips his head around from where he’d begun washing the apples in the sink to fuss at you. “What? Why haven’t you eaten yet? It’s almost 9pm!”

“Which reminds me— why do you look so nice?” Jake repeats.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you sigh.

“You can just say you were pretending to be his girlfriend; we all know what you mean,” Jake snorts.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you repeat, resisting the urge to throw another apple at Jake’s head. “It was at this ballroom downtown, and of course he had nothing to wear, so I had to take him shopping first, which made us late, and then his parents wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about how I need to convince him to give up the music major, so I couldn’t touch any of the food there. Not even the foie gras torchon,” you recall mournfully. “We just got back, like, five minutes ago.”

Chan hums sympathetically— he knows how much you love foie gras torchon. “You can probably ask for an endless supply in return for your appearance at today’s thing,” he suggests, only half-joking. It absolutely sounds like the kind of thing Mark Lee would agree to, what with his ridiculously large inheritance and hapless generosity (last month, Mark lost thousands of dollars in some animal shelter-related pyramid scheme, marketed to him by none other than Haechan Lee).

You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m keeping Mark’s favor for something else.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “What else?”

“Whatever it turns out I need in the future, dumbass. What’s it to you, anyways?”

“Just wanna make sure the poor guy doesn’t end up trapped in your snares forever, little sis. Yo, can I have that apple back?” Jake turns to Chan with characteristic puppy eyes.

“You’re only older than me by eight minutes,” you grumble, the age-old retort slipping out of you before you can help it.

“No, Jaeyun, you cannot. And don’t talk to your sister like that— oh my god, why do I sound like Taeyong,” Chan mutters, thinking about his predecessor frat-president-slash-mother-hen.

“Jeez, government name and everything.” Jake holds his hands up, relinquishing his claim to the apple.

“In fact, your sister gets to have both of these apples, after I clean and cut them up, because she is a saint for continuing to save our asses from our parents like this,” Chan lectures, unceremoniously carving out the chunk of the apple with Jake’s bite marks and tossing it into the trash bin.

“Real ones get it!” You reach out and high-five Chan.

“That is so unfair, c’mon, man!” Jake splutters. “She gets just as much out of these fake relationships— seriously, didn’t you drive her around everywhere for, like, a month after she went to that wedding with you?”

Both you and Chan shudder at the memory. “Ugh, my worst cousin and the worst guy he was ever with. They’re still married, by the way.” Chan shakes his head. “God knows why.”

“Love conquers all…?” Jake offers.

“What the hell are you talking about love for,” a new voice grumbles. Jay strolls in through the doorway, hands full with plastic bags promising wonderful things based on how your stomach reacts to the smell.

“Oh, hell yeah, chicken!” Jake cheers. “Took you long enough, bro.”

“Traffic was hell, something about a ball downtown, and— oh. Hey.” Jay stops abruptly at the sight of you, now munching on the apple slices Chan hands you, one by one.

You wave vaguely in his direction, too busy eating to respond. Jay is one of your brother’s friends who you don’t know that well, since you’ve never pretended to be his girlfriend. It’s strange that you two don’t know each other better, actually— as the social chairs of your sorority and his fraternity, respectively, you would usually have a lot to work on together. But this year has been particularly busy for you, what with your senior thesis and your various things with Jake’s frat brothers, and you had delegated most of your social chair responsibilities to your co-chair, Yunjin, who was far better suited to the social part of the job, anyways. You suspected Jay had done the same thing, since the two of you only ever texted to confirm budgets for any joint events.

“You need to have more than one-and-three-quarters of an apple for dinner,” Chan scolds you, parental instincts back in full force.

You shrug, about to turn around and rifle through the cabinets to see if you can find some peanut butter to add to your apple slices when a takeout container appears in front of you. Tired and still starving, you react rather slowly, your eyes tracing up the hand on the container to the veins of an arm belonging to none other than Jay.

“You look hungry,” is all he says, before popping the container open for you and rearranging the rest of the plastic bags on the counter. “Jake, tell the others to come down for food.”

The others means that soon, there will be an influx of hungry frat brothers in the kitchen, and you have no desire to be anywhere near that, so you mumble a quick thank you to Jay, plop the rest of the apple slices into the takeout container (against Chan’s complaints about the contamination), and move to leave the kitchen, eager to be on your way to your sorority house.

The last thing you overhear before you leave is Jay asking, “Why did your sister look so nice?”, and Jake and Chan responding in unison, “She had a thing.”

A few days later, when they’re doing work in the library, Jay asks Jake, “So how long have Mark and your sister been seeing each other?”

Jake’s pencil jerks across his graph paper, a jagged line appearing on the page at the same time that he swears. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Jay echoes flatly. “Didn’t you say she had a thing with Mark?”

Jake blinks. “Well, sure, in the same way that she’s had a thing with Chan, and Yeonjun, and Vernon, and all the others.”

Jay gapes at him. “Your sister dated all of them? And all the others?”

“What, no, she didn’t date them, she fake-dated them! Just a couple of times, mainly showing up to things with their families so their parents would leave them alone about finding a partner and all that. You know how the parents are.” Jake gestures vaguely, referring to the oddities of the world of wealth they were born into.

Jay nods slowly, understanding dawning upon him. Does he know how the parents are? Oh, does he ever. He has always had a good relationship with his own, but they had been more pushy on the whole love thing as of late, with the not-at-all subtle questions his mother asks about any special someones in his life and the unfunny jokes his dad cracks about how he’s still spry enough to help raise grandchildren. Especially unfunny, given the health scare his dad had given them all in the last year.

Jake’s voice brings him out of his veering-towards-morbid thoughts. “But seriously, bro, how is this news to you? My sister’s been doing this… Cinderella-genie thing for over two years now.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Cinderella-genie thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she transforms our frat brothers into respectable young men with a respectable relationship, but only for three occasions, and she gets the same number of favors back.” Jake wrinkles his nose. “It sounds weird when I say it like that, and don’t get me wrong, I love to give her shit for it, but it’s all above-board stuff. Sunghoon bought her bubble tea for like, three months.”

“She fake-dated Sunghoon?”

At the mention of his name, Sunghoon pops one side of his headphones off. “What’s up?”

“You fake-dated Jake’s sister!?”

Sunghoon shushes him before responding. “Yeah, don’t you remember? It was a couple of months ago.”

Jay’s ears flush, both at how loud he had unconsciously gotten, and at the reminder that he really has been out of it for a while now. It’s not like he’s been living under a rock, but he has definitely been spending a lot more time with his parents and away from his friends ever since his dad’s health scare.

“She was great, though,” Sunghoon continues. “My mom still thinks I made the biggest mistake of my life ‘letting her go.’ But she’s also been leaving me alone about ‘finding love’ because she thinks I’m heartbroken, so yeah, Jake’s sister works wonders.”

Jake smirks. “Sim genes, man. Elite stuff.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “You wish. Didn’t I hear your mom yelling at you on the phone the other day for not having settled down yet?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Does she not realize what decade this is, I mean, we’re still in college—”

Jay interrupts what looks to be the beginning of a long rant from Jake, cutting him off with, “So where can I sign up?”

Jake stares blankly at him. “Sign up for what?”

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

Sunghoon scrunches his face awkwardly. “Uh, she kind of has a waitlist, buddy.”

Jay waits for him to laugh and say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t do the fake-dating thing for multiple people at the same time, and she’s pretty busy with all her shit, so I’m not sure how long of a queue you have ahead of you…”

“Okay, but Jake could get me ahead, right? Cut the line, or something? C’mon dude, I’m your best friend.” Jay is suddenly desperate, remembering the conversation he’d had with his mom on the phone last night, where she had dreamily recalled meeting his dad in college and delicately reminded Jay that he could have a plus-one to the Parks’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Jake eyes his friend warily. “I dunno, she really doesn’t like stuff like that. Unfair advantages, I mean.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger, Jake, and you know, with my dad last year and everything…” Jay does his best approximation of batting his eyelashes at Jake.

“Are you guilt-tripping me?”

“A little?” Jay’s smile turns a little maniacal. “For real, my parents have their 50th wedding anniversary coming up, and it would be the perfect event to bring her to so I can reassure them that things are going well in my love life.”

“Are things going anywhere in your love life?” Sunghoon’s tone is skeptical, and reasonably so.

Jay has been distant lately because of his family, but even before that he had always been known as somewhat aloof and unattainable. Devastatingly handsome, yes, with killer grades and fierce ambition, and a business empire to inherit to boot, but he is also his parents’ one and only miracle child, born after years of trying and almost giving up. Jay’s parents are older than all of his friends’ parents, and their family business has always been that— a family business. Jay has two years after graduation to learn the ropes in the business, and then he’ll be due for an MBA, and then a return to helm the business, but this timeline has recently felt more urgent than ever with his parents’ flagging health. They would never say it, but he knows the only reason they haven’t retired yet is because they don’t want to hand over control of the business to anyone but him. Jay has worked his ass off in college, trying to get there as fast as he can, as well as he can. But his parents also want him to enjoy college and find true love, and while he’s been doing pretty well with the former, the latter has been on the backburner for, well, forever. Who has time for true love, in between classes, fraternity duties, the various shenanigans his friends get up to, internships, networking, TA-ing, volunteering, being on the executive board of two clubs, and eating, sleeping, dreaming, and thinking?

So. No. Things are not going anywhere in his love life, and he confirms just as much to Sunghoon with a grunt, to which Sunghoon wheezes out his amusement.

Jake eyes Jay with pity, now. “Alright, that guilt trip was successful, but more so because you just admitted to being bitchless for so long. I’ll put in a good word to my sister for you.”

Jay perks up instantly. There is light and beauty in this world after all! “Awesome, thank you bro, you won’t regret this, I promise!”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but those are famous last words, Park.” Jake raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you can handle my sister?”

“Why not? She seems… nice.” Jay is slightly evasive in his answer, and truthfully, it’s because he isn’t really sure what you’re like. All your interactions to date have been cordial, almost business-like, and you and Jake are fraternal twins, so it’s not even like he’s really familiar with what you look like. He is, however, sure that you look beautiful in a ballgown, even if he only saw you in one in his frat’s kitchen.

Jake chortles outright. “No, my sister is not nice. Yeah, I’m definitely going to convince her to help you, just because I think it’ll be hysterical watching her turn you inside out. Good luck, my brother in Christ, because you’ll need it!”

[sanjisboyfie]

┊ ⋆˚  about this blog !

— first and foremost, this is a male reader blog !!! i only write male reader inserts, the usage of she/her pronouns will never, ever be applied to any of my works that involve an insertion of yourself into the scenario. that being said, i don't really think i can/will enforce that those that read my work are only those that use he/him prns. so let's say, if those who use she/her pronouns decide to read my work, i won't purge them off of this page (i don't think i spend that much time on here to even do that) and burn them at the stake. all i very POLITELY ask is that: you don't interact malignantly with me or my posts. i don't tag my work "x fem reader", only "x male reader" and "x reader" so there shouldn't be any worries of my work "cluttering" (<- lmmmffaaoooooo) your tags of "x female reader"

— of course this ^ can be subject to change and become stricter if i start gaining negative attention from fem-alligned readers. so NOT SAYING IT'S SET IN STONE because that how i feel about this just right now.

— i plan on using this blog to just broaden the reach of one of my fanfics (keep safe) with the occasional posting of a smau/modern!au post every now and then.

— every now and then i might post a yandere drabble, oneshot, headcanon, etc just wanted to put that here since i know that it's not everyone cup of tea and wanted to disclaim this. some of the yandere headcanons already exist on here, but i think (i hope) i tagged it all appropiately....(i hope)

alright, that's all thank you for reading <3 jaime