#(Mary was)

[druggonaut]

Yeah but with that PING rate it took 3 days. Man needed a better ISP

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

[teaboot]

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

[miseria-fortes-viros]

ultimately the truth about frankenstein is that we are all grotesque amalgamations of the best and worst parts of everyone who came before us. and sometimes the people who are supposed to love us because of and in spite of this will not. and we can kill them with hammers for that. and i think that’s beautiful

[bumblebeebats]

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

[jennerallydrawing]

this is a real scene in the movie. i-i think.

[frostedmagnolias]

“Mary Wallace was the first woman bus driver with the Chicago Transit Authority in 1974. Her job applications were rejected for three years, but her persistence paid off. She was eventually hired under an affirmative action program. Wallace became one of the city’s most popular drivers over her thirty-three year career.”

Happy Black History Month!

[honeyluvsw]

button pngs ! credit not necessary for pngs! like or reblog to use, don't repost as your own please.

[pppuri]

bizarre places with peculiar people

[stealingpotatoes]

some alternative eras of lady normalgirl and her eunuch <3

[orangesavannah]

Anyone done the Pietà pose for Mouthwashing yet? No? Well.

[soranatus]

JUDAS ISCARIOT | Official Trailer

Judas Iscariot is an animated retelling of The New Testament of the Holy Bible, featuring details from the Apocrypha (The "Unofficial" Gospels) with a fresh stylized reinterpretation of the story's core figures. The goal of this project is to illuminate this text for both a religious and non-religious audience, placing it back into the historical context of Jesus’s role as a political figure during the Roman occupation of Judea. This film explores mature themes pertaining to love, devotion, and control. The film is expected to be 15-20 minutes long, depending on how much can be raised with the kickstarter campaign. It is expected to take 1-2 years to finish writing, storyboarding, animating, and painting assets for this project, with an additional period of time devoted to film festival screenings before it is ready for the public.  Judas Iscariot will be the second short film written and directed by Charles Kugler, who has worked in the animation industry for clients like Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, and FOX. 

Kickstarter campaign link:

[tio-trile]

Hey Lil Sammie

Bonus filter version that I liked:

[wolfythewitch]

mama

[mariblahblahs]

do you guys even like girls that have this ...

[sixeyesanddaydreaming]

"Do I still turn you on?"

Your stupid question came just after you kissed your husband good night, his silver brows furrowed while his hands rested on the band of his cotton pajamas. He had just pulled them up after drying himself from his bath, his bare torso still balmy and beaded with unwiped water.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, we've been married for this long now," your fingers playfully wiggled as you counted the number of anniversaries you've celebrated with him. "I'm just wondering if you still think I'm pretty and all..."

Satoru's lips pursed into a thin line, a small sigh escaping his mouth as he stomped over to your side of the bed and unceremoniously pulled down his pajamas right in front of your face.

"T-Toru! What the—!" You exclaimed, dropping your hairbrush in complete disbelief. His wide shadow loomed over you as you sat on the edge of your shared bed, as though hiding this sight from the rest of the world.

His boxers were tented uncomfortably, the kind he always teased you with whenever you were in close proximity. He'd grab you as soon as you were within an arm's length away and rub against you until you melted like putty and played into his hands.

He seized your wrist and brought your palm against his crotch, hard, throbbing, twitching almost painfully— and it made you swallow deep.

He had an erection.

Satoru watched your expression through his feathery lashes and lidded eyes, his hand moving to cup your chin. "What does it look like? Does this look like I'm not turned on by my wife?"

It was a stupid question, indeed, and the answer was there even before you aired it out loud.

You rubbed the tip of his cock with your warm palm, your fingers gently closing around his length as you stroked him, his expression softening as he saw how embarrassed you were— for even asking such a question.

A glint of mischief darkened your husband's baby blue eyes, a twinkle of adoration and desire lighting his features as he completely dropped his pajamas to the floor. "You better stop asking stupid questions because you're never gonna get any stupid answers from me, only real ones."