#(My First Friend Who Will Always Be There For Me: Mikoto)

[plus-i-miss-you]

I LOVED THE OREKOTO AND MIKOTO HEADCANONS AUUAU!!! If it's not a bother, could you pls write a prisoner gn!reader comforting mahiru, fuuta, mikoto and amane after t2? Sorry if this is too vague !!

Seeing them all tired and beat up made me miserable... they deserve a kiss on the forehead or smth

▷ listening to:

"but i still forgive you" (gn!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılıㅤ

♪ note: HI HI ELI so sorry this request has been gathering dust in my inbox for more than a month.. i really wanted to write this but life be life-ing.. i really enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading this too! (also so sorry if i sound weird but i'm assuming you meant comforting them after t1? ^^'')

♪ summary: es may have done some.. pretty strange decisions and now not only the guard and the guilty prisoners, but everyone has to deal with it, including you. you can't help but feel bad for the guilty ones, and hopefully, you can offer them at least some kind of support.

♪ warnings: description of fuuta and mahiru being in pain because of their injuries, the reader character doesn't know about mikoto and john being a system, but still treats them as respectfully as possible, mentions of cults and religious trauma in amane's section. fuuta, mahiru and mikoto parts can be seen as both romantic and platonic, meanwhile amane's part is strictly platonic.

fuuta kajiyama.

♪ fuuta was.. in terrible condition, to say the least. his personality was so different from the fuuta you knew, too. sure, you've met him not so long ago, but seeing him act like this felt.. weird. you actually kinda missed the old fuuta, yes, he was kinda rude, loud and said things without thinking, but you'd prefer that than seeing fuuta in pain and not being able to say a word. you wish you could help him somehow, but.. what could you do? you doubt that convincing es to forgive him is possible..

♪ you tried to support him at least in an emotional way, even though you knew that might not work. it's highly possible he won't be able to see with his right eye ever again, of course, that's extremely traumatizing. he also got beat up by kotoko out of all prisoners, who actually seemed to be similar to him in a way. but you told him that if fuuta wanted to talk to you about anything, like complain about something or vent, he could always do that. fuuta found your kindness weird and even suspicious at first, but.. fine, he could use a friend in a situation like this. or at least a person who could hear him out.

♪ fuuta finds himself coming to you more often than he thought he would. it's not like he has that many people to talk to here anyway. he's grateful to kazui (even though he doesn't want to admit it), but.. he's not sure if there is anything he can talk to him about. haruka and muu are really close now, it honestly feels like haruka has forgotten about everyone else. oh, but surprisingly, fuuta's been getting along with amane lately- what do you mean, you "have a bad feeling about this", y/n?.. 

♪ you will never actually hear this from him, but you can feel that fuuta is glad to have someone like you here. he looks calmer with you around and if he can't open up to anyone else about something, at least he can open up to you. it's easier for him to fall asleep when you're next to him, so you may find him suddenly doing so with his head on your shoulder or your lap. just, uh.. be prepared for him to be really flustered when he wakes up and sees you.

mahiru shiina.

♪ she's honestly surprised that you want to spend time with her and help her feel better despite her being voted guilty. she immediately starts joking (or maybe half-joking?..) about falling in love with you because of your kindness and you just roll your eyes and ask if she's okay and if she's in any pain. you remind her to take her medications, you ask shidou for help if her condition gets worse and you help her move around with her wheelchair, so that she doesn't feel isolated from the rest of the prisoners. being in milgram is already isolating enough.

♪ you try to help her feel better by doing things that are small and simple to you, but very meaningful to her. you brush her hair, you paint her nails (even if you can only do so on one hand for now..), you tell her that she still looks beautiful, and every time you do that, it makes her smile. it's still different from that usual smile of hers, but it's a smile that shows even though she's still suffering, she appreciates you being around. 

♪ mahiru doesn't understand why you're still helping her. is this because you love her?.. ah, please forgive her, that's just her being her usual silly self. but still.. she wasn't forgiven, right? that means she was in the wrong.. but she doesn't understand what made es vote her guilty. all she did was love her boyfriend a lot, right? does that mean that her love itself is a sin?.. is she not allowed to love at all?.. you gently interrupt mahiru and say that you don't know why es refused to forgive her, but you personally don't think mahiru's love is a sin at all. in fact, it's a blessing.

♪ mahiru feels like the sun itself personified to you and you hope that she gets better soon, but you're also grateful for the opportunity to take care of her like this. she always gives so much love to everyone, you wonder how much she gets back. you softly pat her head while making sure it's not painful considering her injury and ask what she wants to do today, but it takes a while for mahiru to answer because of your words still ringing in her head, but in a good way.

amane momose.

♪ .. so why exactly es decided to vote a child guilty? you know you probably shouldn't say anything about the guard's decisions, but.. this just doesn't make any sense to you. just what did es see in amane's video? or maybe something happened during the interrogation? amane's behavior has changed a lot, but you don't blame her for it. of course she would start acting differently. she's a 12 year old who was voted guilty and almost got beaten up by kotoko, kotoko ending up not doing anything to her was honestly a miracle. of course she would be mad. she should be.

♪ you try to talk to her and she kinda ignores you at first. however, you're not as bad as shidou, so.. fine, maybe she can hang out with you a little bit. it's hard not to feel sorry for her though, because of how messy her hair is and how empty her eyes are. you try to cheer her up somehow, like maybe you can do something really cute with her hair or maybe you can cook something for her (while still respecting her dietary restrictions and not forcing her to eat something she's not allowed to).. amane finds your attempts to become closer with her strange, but.. maybe she could use some company.

♪ every time she mentions her "god" around you though, you try to change the topic. you like amane and you genuinely want this kid to get better, but you're not really feeling like becoming a part of a cult.. amane just sighs and says you'll understand it someday. sometimes you catch her mumbling something about being forgiven this time and es needing to make the correct judgement. you can't really help her much when it happens and you can't do anything other than say that es will definitely forgive her, but amane manages to turn even something simple as that into rambles about her god. you can't help but wonder what amane's life used to be like.

♪ you can't convince amane that her family wasn't as kind as she thinks they were. you can't convince her that the way she was raised was too cruel. you know she won't believe you. and you know you're not a therapist. but at least you can be her friend. at least you can gently guide her, while still giving her a choice, so that she feels more free. more free than she possibly ever was in her life. and even though amane never talks about it, she does appreciate it. she feels strangely warm when you're around. she wonders if it's okay to feel this way and if god would ever forgive her for that. 

mikoto kayano.

♪ you didn't know why mikoto suddenly started to act like this. you tried to get at least some information from others, including es, but nobody gave you a proper answer, even though you had a feeling like kotoko and es know what's going on. for some reason, this mikoto just didn't.. feel like mikoto to you. it's like it was.. different mikoto? no, that doesn't sound right. it felt like it was a completely different person. you couldn't prove it and when you tried to say it out loud, it sounded weird, but.. it felt like a correct answer to you. 

♪ when it felt like it was the mikoto you knew, you always made sure to tell him what's going on, what happened, basically all the information he needed. he always looked so lost and confused, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him. you assumed that it was probably because of the trauma related to being voted guilty. you actually couldn't understand es's decision at all. just why would they vote someone like mikoto guilty? was his video really that bad? it didn't feel like mikoto was pretending to be less smarter than he is. why would he even have to do that? you all are murderers here, there's no reason for him to try and trick anyone.

♪ when it felt like it was someone else, you still tried to treat him with kindness. you couldn't understand why everyone started to avoid this person so suddenly. yes, this person was.. quite different from mikoto, but.. maybe at least they could try to accept him? you actually found it surprising how quickly he calmed down after you showed him that you don't intend to hurt him or mikoto. maybe this was the only thing he needed: someone telling him that he's safe and that he's not in danger. or maybe it was something they both needed.

♪ both mikoto and this person seem to actually like you a lot.. well, it's not like they have much of a choice here, considering that other prisoners don't really want to spend time with them. but it looks like they don't mind it that much. yes, mikoto is definitely still worried about it and he doesn't seem to remember what happens when the other person is here, but the other guy doesn't really care about the other prisoners and the only thing that bothers him is how possibly dangerous they can be. and even though he still has his suspicions.. you don't seem that dangerous to him.

[yellowocaballero]

Naruto Roleswap Fic: Sasuke and Obito's Post-Massacre Bonding Hour

“Um…” Tobi wriggled uncomfortably, craning his head to look around the room. There were three boxes near the door, full of clothes and scrolls. “When is Mikoto-nee picking you up?”

Blandly, Sasuke said, “Mother’s dead.”

“Oh.” Tobi picked at his rice consideringly. “Um…what do you mean by that?”

“She’s not picking me up.”

Wow. That sounded - right. It shouldn’t have sounded right, but it sounded right. A memory surfaced, blood-red, and Tobi -

Sasuke and Tobi, after the fact.

This one has a lot of playing with Tobi - what Tobi means to Sasuke, who Sasuke is to Tobi, and what Tobi means to Obito. Very short story featuring a good kid and Konoha's #1 and #2 weirdest men under the cut.

“Your friend will be watching over you,” the man rasped. “Always. So…don’t be sad. And don’t be scared. Your friends are doing it all for you.”

Tobi woke up screaming. 

He bolted upright in bed, tangling himself in his own futon. A nightmare. He hadn’t had a nightmare in a while, had he? It had been about - he couldn’t remember what it was about. Like…something terrible was happening, and everybody was sad, and it was all his fault. 

A small figure in a small futon next to him rolled over, squinting blearily at Tobi. The futon had little duck patterns. It was…so cute. “Did you have a nightmare?”

The small figure was Sasuke. Tobi would recognize that duck-butt hair anywhere, smooshed as it may be. What was Sasuke doing in his bedroom? Some kind of sleepover? That was fucking random. The fuck. 

Still mostly asleep, Tobi mumbled, “Sasuke-chan, why are you here…”

Sasuke stared at him for a long second, two, before turning around and pulling the covers over his head. “I’ll explain in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

“Huh?!”

“Just go back to sleep,” Sasuke repeated. “We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

And, out of lack of anything better to do, Tobi went back to sleep. 

*

When he woke up the futon beside him was empty and his house smelled like slightly charred fish. Tobi’s first insane thought was that Gai had snuck into his house again, but Gai would have woken him up immediately. Instead of making breakfast. In Tobi’s house.

The full contents of the night returned to Tobi. Right. Sasuke was over for a sleepover. Why couldn’t he remember why? He had the sense that there was some sort of reason, but it was…fuzzy. Weighty, as if there were a great deal of memories swimming underneath the surface, but still a distant shadow rippling on the water. Tobi - 

Didn’t feel like dealing with that, so he went into the kitchen. Sure enough, Sauke was standing on a stack of Rin’s medical textbooks and carefully charring fish on the stove. There were already bowls of miso soup on the table, and the rice cooker was steaming. It was genuinely pretty impressive for an eight year old. Tobi knew that Mikoto had been teaching Sasuke how to cook, but he had really improved since his last attempt. 

“Is it my birthday?” Tobi hazarded. He would remember that, right? “Is…that why Sasuke’s making breakfast?”

Sasuke swallowed a sigh. The daylight streaming through the window cast his face into sharp relief, and Tobi was struck by just how terrible he looked. His eyebags had eyebags, and he had clearly lost weight. Sasuke was such a cheerful kid. The somber countenance just didn’t seem right. It was like he had transformed into Itachi overnight. 

“It’s not your birthday.” Sasuke pointed his cooking chopsticks at the stained table, sending flecks of fish skin everywhere. “Just eat, okay?”

Out of lack of anything more sane to do, Tobi sat and ate. The soup was watery and the rice was burnt at the edges, but not half bad. 

“This is great, Sasuke-chan!” Tobi chirped as Sasuke placed a small plate of fish in front of him. Sasuke sat down in front of his own table setting, grabbing his own chopsticks. Something was so strange about his expression. “This cooking is so adult!”

Normally Sasuke loved being called an adult. But today he just mumbled something and began half-heartedly sticking grains of rice into his mouth. Single grains. He didn’t seem particularly hungry. Tobi had the sense that he had only cooked a meal for him. 

“Um…” Tobi wriggled uncomfortably, craning his head to look around the room. There were three boxes near the door, full of clothes and scrolls. “When is Mikoto-nee picking you up?”

Blandly, Sasuke said, “Mother’s dead.”

“Oh.” Tobi picked at his rice consideringly. “Um…what do you mean by that?”

“She’s not picking me up.”

Wow. That sounded - right. It shouldn’t have sounded right, but it sounded right. A memory surfaced, blood-red, and Tobi -

“So when is Shisui-kun coming over?” Tobi asked cheerfully. “Are we having a playdate?”

Sasuke prodded a sliver of fish. He didn’t look up. Rotely, he said, “Shisui is dead.” Tobi opened his mouth. “No playdates.”

Alright. That was - 

“Then is Itachi-kun picking you up?” Tobi asked, confused. “Who’s picking you up?”

“Itachi Uchiha killed my mother,” Sasuke said. Although - although that made no sense. Although that really didn’t work at all. “Nobody is picking me up. I live here now. ‘Cause you said my house was no good.”

“Oh.”

They ate in silence. Tobi slowly processed all of this information, and some more information besides. Slowly, inch by inch, it began to filter back to him. 

Slowly, Tobi said, “How often have you had to remind me of that, Sasuke?”

“Three times or something.” Sasuke didn’t even pretend to drink his soup. “You aren’t really getting it. That’s okay. Gai-san said that you’ll get used to it.”

And the memories came back and back and back -

“Why did Itachi-kun kill Mikoto-nee?” That just wasn’t tracking. That made no sense. Something about that just wasn’t clicking. Was he just too stupid to get it? Was it something Sasuke could explain?

“‘Cause she was weak,” Sasuke said plainly. “That’s what he said, anyway.”

More information that Tobi just couldn’t process flooded into his mind and he -

*

Fell off the couch.

Tobi sprawled on the floor, blinking up at the ceiling. Sasuke leaned over the edge of the couch, blinking at him. A mutual favorite children’s cartoon blared on the television. 

“Tobi?” Sasuke asked. He - he really didn’t look good. Why didn’t he - “Are you okay?”

“Um. No harm done!” Tobi rolled to his feet, brushing off his shirt and sweatpants. He looked at the television and saw some scary movie with monsters playing. “Aw, Tobi loves this one! I watched it with Sensei.”

“Yeah, you said.” Sasuke gestured a sock vaguely at the seat next to him. Was he folding laundry? “Sit down, you’re blocking the screen.”

“Okay, ohkay.” Wait. Tobi stopped and took a second look at the screen, rubbing his chin. “Wait’a minute. Sasuke-chan, you aren’t supposed to be watching this! Mikoto-nee said you’re too young for monster movies!”

Sasuke rolled some socks together. Terribly. He didn’t take his eyes off the screen. “Well, Mikoto-nee’s dead, so whatever.” Tobi stared blankly at Sasuke. “That means she doesn’t care about my TV, Tobi. Just sit down and don’t worry about it.”

“Ah. Alright.” Tobi slowly sat down. Even slower, he took a pair of socks out of the laundry basket. “Why don’t I show you how to fold socks, Sasuke?”

Sasuke squinted skeptically at Tobi. “You tried to show me how to wash clothing and you just got water all over both of us.”

Automatically, Tobi said, “Was it funny?” Sasuke’s squint turned suspicious, and Tobi quickly said, “Sensei always did the washing, but Tobi and Kushina-nee folded the laundry. We got this!”

What wasn’t he worrying about? 

Oh, yeah. All of the -

*

“ - so go away!”

Tobi slowly walked alongside the wooden walls, one hand trailing the rough wooden edges. They said that Hashirama made this compound for them. A beautiful home, or a bird in a cage? 

A low voice sounded from beyond the open gates. Sasuke was standing on the other side of the gates, behaving quite rudely. Tobi had never heard him so angry. 

“I don’t care!” Sasuke screeched. “We don’t need you, we don’t need anybody! You’re just as useless at this stupid village, so don’t pretend you care! I can take care of him myself and you can heck off!”

“Your passion on the matter is admirable,” a familiar voice said, low and stern, “but you’re still a child, Sasuke. It’s no shame to accept some help.”

“Stick your help up your -”

Tobi skidded to a stop in front of the gate doors. He had started running the second he recognized the voice, and the sight of Maito Gai did not disappoint. He looked particularly unyouthful, which was unusual. Maybe Sasuke’s bad attitude was catching. “Gai! Hi-hi! It’s been forever!”

Gai smiled at him. Just a small smile. Wow. Gai was practically depressed. In front of Tobi, Sasuke was fuming with his arms crossed. His eyebags had eyebags and his skin was white as paper. He looked like Itachi, honestly. “Well met, Tobi. Have you been well?”

“Just peachy!” Tobi said cheerfully. He put a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, who tensed. “Sasuke-chan, what’s with the cold welcome? Gai’s our friend.” 

“We don’t have friends,” Sasuke snapped. “We have fakers. Gai’s a faker so he can go away.”

Wow. Tobi had no idea it was possible to be actively hostile to Gai, of all people. And Sasuke liked Gai! He thought he was funny. Tobi lightly knocked Sasuke on the head. “No insulting our friends, Sasuke-chan! It’s bad hospital. Uh - hopital tea?”

“Hospitality,” the baby dictionary said. 

“Hospitality!” Tobi crowed. “Hospitality is tea and cookies! Yay, cookies!”

“Fine,” Sasuke bit out. He turned on his heel and stalked away. “But he’s not allowed in our house!”

“Our house?” Tobi turned to Gai, frowning a little. “Why is Tobi’s house Sasuke’s house?” Oh, wait! Tobi snapped his fingers. “It’s ‘cause Mikoto-nee and Fugaku-san and Itachi-kun went bye, right?”

Gai placed a hand on Tobi’s shoulder. He was as serious as Tobi had ever seen him. “I’m sorry for your loss, Tobi.”

And Tobi just blinked. “Loss’a what?” Oh, oh, right. That was right. “Um. Yeah! Because they aren’t coming back, right?” 

Gai just stared at him. Awful vibes in this place. 

Even the tea had bad vibes. They ended up sitting at the picnic table outside, clutching cups of lukewarm tea. There were no snacks or anything. They seemed to be out of snacks. Seriously, no junk food? Tobi always bought junk food. Joys of retirement, baby. 

Worse, Sasuke and Gai were having a very serious conversation. Tobi had tried to scamper away three different times just because he hated the atrocious vibes of the conversation, but when they both asked him to stay he reluctantly settled down. Something about how they didn’t want to have the conversation without him. Tobi didn’t see why. It was all going over his head, anyway. 

No it wasn’t. Tobi was a fucking genius, one conversation between an eight year old and Konoha’s second weirdest man didn’t go over his head. Yes it did. It was just too complicated and Tobi would rather think of other stuff. What the fuck was wrong with him, what the fuck -

“There are ANBU assigned to your home for your protection. One of them informed me about the situation.” ‘For their protection’ his ass. They would be lucky if it was real ANBU and not Root. “Has he begun reliably remembering?”

Sasuke scowled. Somehow it felt like his new favorite expression, although it was the first time Tobi had ever even seen him make the expression. Wait, that wasn’t right. What the fuck? “What business is it of yours?”

Gai took a threatening sip of his tea. “It’s me or a doctor, Sasuke-kun.”

It was a bluff, but an effective one. Sasuke took an angry complementary sip of his tea. It was unsweetened, of course. Because he was a big boy! “Whatever. No, he’s not reliably remembering. He’s stopped completely forgetting, but it’s all weird. He’s always convinced that either Itachi Uchiha’s dead or he’s on a freaking market run. I thought he knew what dead people were. He always used to talk about his foster parents.”

Gai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It took a little while before he settled into that knowledge too. Due to the…circumstances of Rin-chan and Kakashi-kun’s deaths, they were easier to understand. But Minato and Kushina died while he was in a safehouse and guarded by one of the Hokage’s guards. He’s not terribly adept with abstract concepts.”

“What does abstract mean!” Sasuke shouted. Gai explained the meaning of abstract. Both Sasuke and Tobi listened avidly. The definition did not assuage Sasuke. “What’s abstract about this? The ANBU found him hiding underneath a pile of - you know whats!”

“I don’t know what,” Tobi said blankly. Sasuke made a sharp gesture at Tobi - ‘you see?’.

“You told me that he would be back to normal shortly,” Gai told Sasuke sternly. Tobi had never heard Gai be stern in his life. How many times had that man taken a single thing seriously? Was this, like, the first time? “I thought that keeping your environments consistent would be best for the both of you. But I have been told that you have been acting as his full-time caretaker, Sasuke. I applaud your sense of responsibility, but you have taken on far too many responsibilities in far too short a time. When you ought to still be recovering.”

“I am recovered,” Sasuke said, irritable. “They let me out of the hospital, didn’t they?”

“That is not the sort of recovery I mean.”

“Caretaker?” Tobi asked blankly. “Since when do I need a caretaker?”

Both Sasuke and Gai shot him strange looks. A little irritably, Sasuke said, “Since you got distracted trying to cook and forgot to extinguish the fire. You almost burned down the house. And you’re zoned out all the time. And you don’t get stuff as well as you normally do.” 

“That can’t be right.” Something in his tone made Gai raise an eyebrow, but Tobi could barely process that. “I’ve never needed anyone. I’ve been careful about that. What? Sasuke, you’re eight?” His head hurt. His head hurt so much. A monster swam underneath still waters. “What about…uh, Shisui? What about him? Can’t he help?” Memories boiled the ocean, apocalyptic - “Is Itachi-kun on a mission or something?”

Evenly, almost rotely, Sasuke said, “Itachi Uchiha killed cousin Shisui and the rest of our family. They aren’t coming back.”

“Oh.”

Right. That was - that was the situation. 

Sasuke stood up, wiping his hand on his squeaky clean shorts. “Just go away. You’re upsetting him. You think you’re helping but you’re not. I can take care of him and you can’t and nobody cares anyway, so go away.”

No. No, wait. This was fucked up. This was all sorts of fucked up. Sasuke was eight, Tobi was a grown-ass man. And a genius. Whatever happened to that? The genius part? Since when did he need help just to live? Just because he -

Was having blackouts. Since when did he have blackouts? That wasn’t normal, was it? Maybe - maybe once or twice after Sensei and Nee-chan died. Who the hell had babysat him back then, Genma…? Tobi had really put Genma through the wringer, but that was just because it was hilarious. Had Genma actually babysat him?

“I care a great deal, Sasuke!” Gai said boomed. “A passionate and determined friend can always find some way to help! If you’ll just allow me to -”

“Nobody cares about us, so stop pretending like you do!”

“I have been friends with Obito since we were children, Sasuke, you are well aware of -”

Obito. Where the hell was Obito? Where had Obito gone? Was he at the market, waiting just outside? Was he about to come and pick Sasuke up, when would he be home? Whatever happened to Obito Uchiha?

Itachi Uchiha had killed Obito Uchiha and the rest of their family. They weren’t coming back. Obito Uchiha was dead, so he didn’t exactly care about the television Sasuke watched. Obito Uchiha wasn’t coming over for a playdate or picking up the kid, because Itachi Uchiha had killed Obito Uchiha. That was what being dead meant.

“Sasuke,” Tobi said quietly, “here’s what we’re going to do, okay? Please sit down.”

Dumbfounded, Sasuke sat. Tobi squeezed his hands in his lap. Keep it together, keep it together, if the fucking small child could keep it together then he could too, he had to.

“Thank you for wanting to help, Gai,” Tobi said. “I want your help very much. I feel bad making Sasuke do all the work. I’ve been…um, I know I haven’t been remembering much. I’m very sorry…”

“It’s not your fault,” Sasuke said immediately. “It’s Itachi Uchiha’s fault, it’s all his fault!”

That didn’t sound quite right, but for the life of him Tobi couldn’t remember why. “Gai’s a really nice person. Mikoto-nee always told us to be nice, so we should be nice too and let him help. Gai can come over three times a week, okay? He can see if we’re okay. And if I need a little extra help, then he can help. Sasuke, please let him do that.”

Sasuke looked away, fingers crumpling his shorts. His face was red and scrunched. “Whatever.”

“Whatever…what?”

“Yes, Tobi, he can help.”

“Yay. And, um, Gai…” Tobi turned to Gai, fighting the urge to fiddle with his fingers. He had to look straight at him. He had to be brave. “If you’re seen with us too much, things will be bad for you. So we gotta be sometimes friends, okay? And that’s okay. Because Sasuke and Tobi will help each other. We’re the family we have left.” Tobi gave Sasuke a shaky smile. “Your cousin’s sorry that he hasn’t helped you, Sasuke. But that’s not the case anymore. Let’s help each other a lot. Okey-dokey?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke said, sniffling hard, “that’s okay.”

“Yay! Can we get sweets?”

“Ugh, Tobi, that stuff’s so bad for you.”

The next morning, Tobi woke Sasuke up with breakfast. He only did it once: Sasuke got incredibly offended. Tobi hadn’t known that you could eat rice so angrily. Somewhere along the way food became a ‘Sasuke chore’. Laundry became a Tobi chore, once he got the hang of it. They folded laundry together. Usually while watching a scary monster movie. They got hooked on ninja soap operas, though. 

Tobi found Obito again eventually, in bits and pieces. It happened so slowly that he didn’t notice. He only recognized that anything had happened at all during their weekly shopping trip to the market. 

As usual, people were either looking or not-looking at them. They were either gossiping behind their hands or not-gossiping. It was all the same. Sasuke’s shoulders hunched upwards and upwards at every  sideways stare, and Tobi walked loudly and talked louder beside him to draw some of the attention away. Tobi ‘No social graces whatsoever’ Uchiha also enjoyed pointing out large moles on the foreheads of old women, which always satisfied Sasuke. 

People still disliked them. No surprise, considering - a lot of stuff that Tobi still couldn’t fucking remember, damn it. Sasuke definitely noticed, even if he didn’t know why, but he thought Tobi didn’t realize. He furiously tried to protect Tobi from the realization. But he couldn’t do anything about the old lady selling tomatoes from a large wicker basket, barking out prices and bargains to the passerby. 

Sasuke had stopped to salivate after some particularly ripe and juicy tomatoes. Which he could eat like an apple, what a little freak. He had only picked one up to take a closer look at it when the old lady snatched it out of his hands. 

“Don’t steal my goods,” the lady barked. At least three people around them were inspecting the tomatoes too, but she completely ignored them. “Get out of here, git.”

Sasuke drew himself up, breaking out his best scowl. They had grown very impressive. Tobi had the sense that he was proud of them, so far as anybody could be proud of a facial expression. “I was just looking for bruises! What if I wanted to buy one?”

“I’m not so desperate that I need your business,” the lady snapped. Tobi tilted his head. “Now git.”

Tobi looked down at Sasuke, blinking guilelessly. “Our business? Why not us?”

“Stop harassing me and go!”

“How are we harassing you!” Sasuke cried. “You awful old hag -” 

Then the people around them were whispering, and some were tittering, and Sasuke’s cheeks reddened. He dropped the tomato back in the basket and turned around on his heel, hoisting his basket higher on his little shoulder. “C’mon, Tobi, let’s go.”

Tobi saluted. “Okey-dokey!”

He made it two steps before he delivered a delicious pratfall over the basket of tomatoes. It practically happened in slow motion: Tobi tripped over an errant tomato, slipped on it with a thick squelch, and toppled backwards with pinwheeling arms onto the basket of tomatoes. He squealed, his landing cushioned by the wicker basket, but the tomatoes went everywhere. Some of them even splattered the tittering women, who screamed as if boiling water was dumped on them. And the old hag ended up with a big fat faceful of tomato. 

“Whoops,” Tobi announced, scrambling back upwards. “My bad. C’mon, let’s vamoose!”

They sprinted out of the market, weaving between the crowds and ignoring the furious howls of bitchy old women. When Tobi glanced to the side he saw Sasuke furiously stifling laughter, chest heaving with exertion from the run, before he couldn’t hide it anymore - he laughed, gasping and wheezy and light. When Sasuke looked at Tobi, he saw a gleam in his eye and the faintest hint of a smirk. 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Wait. Was that on pur -”

Tobi held one finger to his lips, winking. “Let’s not tell Gai-kun about this, okey-dokey?”

And Sasuke grinned, knowing without understanding that he was seeing a flash of the biggest secret in Konoha. “Okey-dokey!”

Tobi did not remember what he knew about the Uchiha Massacre until much later. What he had known before it had even happened. But that, at least, he knew was in self-defense.

[charismaofobedience]

what makes you think mikoto is good rep? specifically, what is it about double that convinces you?

Okay okay, it took me some time to perfectly articulate my thoughts on how MIkotos system isn't horrible rep and instead was tackled... Somewhat well? This was also written after me and another friend who's a system discussed this extensively and how our own situations lowkey match the situation Mikoto himself is facing. Under the cut because I did *not* expect this to get so long </3

To start it off with some debunking of things people have been mentioning as "oh but this proves he's not a system" (after Milgram itself confirmed them as one but oh well), the whole thing on how DID only appears during childhood isn't... Really the full truth? The most common thing to happen with DID is, instead, for someone to develop the conditions for it through their childhood, but the symptoms only start showing when older. I myself was a case of that and while it started around my 6 years, we only had our first split at 14. Mikotos just happen to be later. I personally also think that, during the phone call with his mom, there wouldn't just have a random baby crying noise for no reason. He probably developed it that early, but just didn't split until recently, however that's just my own reading and not anything confirmed.

For the point of "but then, why don't the milgram rules work on John if he is indeed the killer? This proves it's Mikoto who killed", just look at irl court cases of systems. The one being judged will always be the host almost all the times, after all, he's the main one who fronts, and not whichever alter committed the murder. The host and body would be the one in jail etc in a real life prison, not the alter who committed it. Milgram is a perfect parallel to that, with Mikoto being restrained and the Es barrier working on him even if he didn't commit any murder while John, the alter and one who committed the crime, doesn't has any restraints or barrier that work on him. Because Mikoto is the host and core of their system, not John.

Second, some quick system terminology. I'll be using the terms host, protector/persecutor and dormancy on this, so for a quick understanding: Host means that, basically, that alter is the one who mainly fronts and takes care of things, may or may not be the core ("original" person), but at Mikotos case I'll assume he's both the core and the host. Protector is what the name implies, they're alters who have as their purpose to protect the system and body. Persecutors just so happen to be protectors who have more drastic means to do things and will inherently be harmful to the system in a way in another, they are not necessarily bad, and might instead just be misguided and think what they are doing is a solution for a issue and that by doing so they're protecting the system. Finally, dormancy is when an alter of a system... Well, goes into dormancy. They can't come to front anymore and will be "asleep" for some time or even forever depending on the conditions. A inclusion is also possible, where two alters (or more) will become one etc, but I don't think that will be the case for Mikoto.

So, as it's settled, Mikoto is the Host and Core of the system and Orekoto/John is the Protector/Persecutor of it. Let's get to the explanation now.

Mikoto's split seemingly very much occurred due to the stress situation he had been feeling from his work. We have John welcoming him home twice through the mv and noticing that Mikoto isn't smiling or anything when coming home anymore and it isn't the only times judging by the "another day" mention. We can see on the second one he's either getting the subway to go home or go to work (probably the first one), but on the first time it's said we get to see Mikoto's phone and, specifically, messages coming through and through.

All the texts are coming from his boss, and from the looks of it Mikoto works for a black company in Japan, so it's no wonder he's stressed and very clearly depressed there. Judging by the time Mikoto would be going back home at midnight and, at that time, he's texted by his boss that he needs to remake a whole product and correct mistakes from another thing for the next day of work, and with "next day" you can bet they mean "when i see you in around 10 hours". For now, this is the main reasoning and sustenance we have for "but why did he split?", aka, Mikoto was under a lot of stress on work and it lingered even when he was home to the point that, eventually, John split as himself and, as himself said, he's got Mikoto, and he could leave it all to him.

By this point I like to think it was already John fronting to reply to the boss call. John got tired of Mikoto overworking himself to the brink of breaking down to appease to his boss and superiors and, wanting to help, came to front to "take it all on" in his own words. I think bringing MeMe up for Double discussion is extremely important because we have to remember that MeMe was visibly only from Mikoto's point of view while in Double we have John telling his own point of view. I don't think Mikoto is lying about not knowing he's a system etc, but instead that Mikoto thinks something is wrong, yes, that he knows whoever this person ruining his life is both not him and him at the same time (mirror scene), but isn't aware exactly that he's a system. John is portrayed as scary and evil and cruel etc in MeMe because that's what Mikoto assumes to be happening, Mikoto doesn't know whatever John is doing and what are his intentions, we knew since them Mikoto is the type of guy to take things happening to him lightly (joking about the milgram situation etc) because he may think he deserves it, and this extended to his work and personal life. Through MeMe we see Mikoto looking sad and not smiling anytime until we got to the ending in the headspace where he's sitting on the couch somewhat smiling, but not looking downright miserable like he is in double because Mikoto's main focus was that there is some scary guy there, not that his work life was putting him under so much strain to the point of splitting. Hell, his work life was never brought up until Double anyways, because Mikoto didn't think it was important and kept playing as if it was cool (even during the call with his mom in Double, as John showed us) and that he could handle it, meanwhile Double has John showing us just how miserable Mikoto looked after work and some situations that would happen on his day to day work, how he never went back home smiling etc. MeMe has a bigger focus on Mikoto, as a Host, not knowing that he's a system and how scary that can feel when you're fully unaware of why you're seemingly doing certain actions that you're not aware of when they're brought up to you, meanwhile Double focuses on his alter, John, telling us about his own motivations and the truth about Mikoto's daily life, showing us that whatever it is he did was to protect Mikoto because being a protector is his role in the system. Mikoto didn't take his issues seriously in MeMe, and in Double John gives us a glimpse on how bad it was. For Mikoto, all of his personal issues were coming from the fact that there was an Evil Scary Serial Killer guy around, while John tells us that nuh uh, it was capitalism all along and he'll protect Mikoto from that stress.

The voice drama also tracks some of these points, such as Es mentioning that Mikoto laughs whenever he's troubled and rarely gets angry or frustrated, ignoring problems, and Es mentioning that John acts more rationally, contrary to what he expected... After all, Es' only views of John came from MeMe as a mv, and then from John getting angry and frustrated as Es because, in the beginning, to John it all felt like people were trying to trouble and hurt Mikoto yet again. He was just doing his job as a protector.

I've seen most people say that the "made me a scoundrel" refers to us, the viewers, but also... I feel it might also just be John talking with Mikoto himself. Mikoto saw John as a evil bad alter on MeMe as we just discussed, and from what we see here... Yes, John is violent and impulsive, but he's still a protector who did things with the goal of "I need to protect Mikoto" in mind. We didn't knew that through the entirety of MeMe because Mikoto himself didn't know, and John might be frustrated that the guilty verdict could have come only because Mikoto portrayed himself in such a way first and foremost. John asks him why he's crying because I'm fairly sure he isn't aware that Mikoto isn't aware of him either. The main issue at play here is the fact their system communication is horrible if not non existent. They can't communicate with each other properly for some reason even through writing etc, so there's no way for them to be certain of how the other feels. There's no way for Mikoto to know why John was doing all that. There's no way for Mikoto to know John was trying to protect and help him.

John in the middle of Double even states that he doesn't know why he's there. So yes, most of us are all assuming it was all due to Mikoto's stress with work, but hell we could all be wrong because, again, Mikoto refuses to open up and actually talk about issues with anyone. "Come to know me as an honest man" is John asking for all of us and Es to go and know him as himself, as John the alter, and not the vision Mikoto had of him on MeMe and the entirety of trial one. Because yes, you can't change the violent nature of his, but we should at least come to know and understand that he is a protector and was simply trying his best to protect Mikoto from something (what? We don't know and can't be sure, but yet again, our best bet for now is his job). John is seemingly willing to open up more this trial, admitting he is indeed the one who committed the murder and asking Es to understand the situation they're being put under, with Mikoto feeling stressed and please forgive him, because Mikoto is not the one who committed the murders. I'm sure we will get more on their situation etc when the questions for Mikoto and Kotoko come, but for now we only have that.

John simply wished to save and protect Mikoto, he himself doesn't know how it all ended like *this* (Mikoto as guilty and not innocent, running away from him on the train because, again, Mikoto isn't aware John is simply trying to help him). Having John asking us to forgive Mikoto many times through both the mv (first image of these 3) and voice drama (next screenshot) basically affirms his beliefs and wishes, that he wants us to guilt him, but not Mikoto. After all, if we get another guilty verdict? In his own words Mikoto will go into dormancy due to the stressful situations of having two guilty verdicts in a row, but if Mikoto gets a innocent this time around? Then, there will be less need for John to front... After all, if the situation becomes a bit more calming for them, then John's purpose of protecting Mikoto will be gone for some time... What we can't have, however, Is Mikoto going into dormancy and then forcing John as the new host, because John wouldn't know what to do by then. He was born to be a protector and his identity is intrinsically connected to this role, the duty of protecting Mikoto, for him, comes above him as his own person. With Mikoto's dormancy, John himself would lose his purpose and motive of existing.

And even so, John apologizes at the end of the milgram, questioning even his own existence that "none of this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't even born". In John's eyes, he failed on his role of a protector by getting Mikoto into this situation. The protector guilt is shown so greatly on John that I did tear up a bit when first watching the Double mv and reading the lyrics. The fact they expanded away from the "scary evil alter" troupe that Mikoto made us belief in trial 1 into a protector/persecutor who feels guilt that his actions caused harm to the host? Into a protector with low empathy who cares more for the well being of their host than his own? Mikoto was neutral on the scale of "is this good system rep" for me initially because, again, Mikoto himself didn't know he was a system. Now we got more information on how things work thanks to John and, from the feelings of how scary finding out there's someone else besides you to the fear of realizing that the person who did whatever the hell it was wasn't you mentally, but it physically was you at the same time is terrifying. I think their writing was very well handled to cover the topics of fear and guilt from both sides. Mikoto is still a host who's unaware of the fact he's a system. John is a protector who feels like he failed on his role after getting Mikoto into this mess. Their communication, due to seemingly being a recent split, is non existent so they cant fully talk with each other to comprehend the other. To me, this is a perfect example of how it felt when I myself found out I wasn't a singlet. I don't think Mikoto's writing is perfect and has no flaws, not at all, but on the grander scale of things? Having this type of rep coming from a japanese song media franchise is great and almost unseen since it's mostly always used as a joke or for the scary evil alter trope alone. Milgram and the team could do some stuff better, sure, but from what we have right now? It's far from me of calling them "bad system representation". After all, just like John tells Mikoto, they're both doing their best.

[suguru-getos]

| Itachi Uchiha x Reader | Grief |

Summary: Itachi’s s/o has finally awoken her Sharingan. As much as it’s an opening for visual prowess, it is also a room for grief.

Warnings: Mentions of massacre, blood, it’s the Ninja world come on :3; Itachi being… insane, mentions of comfort, unhinged Uchiha brr! Also, I wrote this one on this blog let me live 🥹 not beta’d.

Despite being from the esteemed, established Uchiha clan, the unmatched Kekkei Genkai weilders, you were deemed ‘safe’ from the cursed anomalies of this world. Sometimes you felt like a disgrace, when you saw younglings flash their Sharingan and Kunais, train with all their might and wits to be a remarkable Shinobi. Then, there was you, physically strong, knew Taijutsu, but nothing much apart from that. What truly was the salt in your open gash wounds were you being the sister of Shisui Uchiha. The teleporter, the powerful, renounced Ninja.

That also meant that you knew Itachi and Sasuke ever since you were a child. Itachi was three years older than you. Sasuke being two years younger. Being the middleman, you always spent time with Sasuke rather than Itachi. The latter being too engraved in his training, Hell he was the chief of Anbu Black Ops when he was 12.

You remember 9 years old you, walking upto Itachi, noticing his Sharingan, gleaming with pride. “Congratulations Itachi! You are so powerful,” you grinned, flicking his forehead softly. “So proud of you, keep protecting us yeah?” You brought him Dangos, watching him take them and bowing down to you as a token of thanks. “Thank you, y/n san.”

Itachi— always the respectful and distant one. You wouldn’t be lying if you confessed that there had been days when you bitched about his stoic behavior with his younger brother. Sometimes Itachi was just too much to handle. Too much to take in.

You had no idea how things twisted and turned, how your visits collided with his, how you two started talking more. Enough to deem everyone else’s presence as unfit. Things seemed sudden and yet, took enough time to root deep within, creating a stellar foundation between you & the Uchiha. There was no resistance from Mikoto or Fugaku. Kagami had always been the liberal one. Who else was left really? Shisui? He couldn’t really mind you getting close to his best friend.

Itachi was shy yet brave enough to take the first move, ask you out several times to go get Dango together, sitting by the lake and enjoying it. Not his problem that you couldn’t take it as a date! He was trying his best!

Hell, how you and Itachi really, really got together? That story needs a meticulous elaboration in itself. As a summary, let’s just say the Uchiha are a jealous, territorial, intense-emotion honers.

Having faced several instances in your now adulthood with the Uchiha, where you had been crying on his chest about not having a Sharingan. About not worthy of carrying the Uchiha name, you were slowly getting comfortable with the whole thing.

“Sssh~ stop shedding tears, my love. You have no idea, how gleeful it makes me,” Itachi cupped your face, kissing your tears away. “That you aren’t tainted, traumatized by the filth of this Shinobi world,”

Itachi meant every word he said. There was a carnal desire to protect you from all things bad instilled in him. Instilled in the very marrow of his bones. Often he has caught himself pondering about how he would lose a part of his sanity if something were to happen to you. If something as meagre as a wound makes him so worried; he can’t bring himself to imagine the wrath he would unleash if something were to…

It was nothing more than an escorting mission, something that you could carry out easily given you are to traverse through the Hidden Sand village. Nothing stressful was going to happen. Nothing that you could expect.

No one would’ve expected an assassination of your team mates, full scale on spot death taken by. No one would’ve expected ‘you’ to come out unscathed because of the cursed boon that ringed into the pupil of your eyes, shining red, thirsty for blood.

It happened before you could register anything, the mission was successful having you saving the host, passing out the very next moment.

When you woke up, you felt different, you felt disgusted, you felt like burning yourself alive. The gory, grotesque scenary of your comrades being stabbed, broken into pieces, dead. Kept replaying over and over and over.

Being still within the fourwalls of The Hidden Sand’s medical room, you gasped out, screaming loud enough for the room to vibrate.

It was then, that you saw a familiar face, rushing towards you. Worry & regret written all over him, his arms carefully snugging you close, making you listen to his heartbeat; which was also haywired.

“Sssh~ there there, it’s all okay. Breathe for me. I’m here, everything is fine and I’m here. I’m here for you Angel, please calm down,” your sobs only heard his soft cooes, his hands rubbing your back soothingly.

Then your tear prickled eyes, stained with grief met his. One tomoe Sharingan glazing against Itachi’s black eyed features. Itachi suspected it, how else were you able to finish the mission? What he didn’t expect was him feeling your grief as well.

“I’m sorry-” He managed to utter with a lost, defeated sigh. Eyes glossed up, gritted teeth at his abstinent belief to think you were fine. Careless, foolish— belief.

“It’s okay,” you managed to mumble, holding his now cold, hands in your warmth. “It’s okay Itachi, how long could you have stopped it anyway,” you leaned against his chest, hugging him tightly, wanting to be broken apart by nothing but his embrace alone.

Itachi hugged you through the whole night, not saying anything else. Kissing the crown of your head, kissing your fingers, your inner wrist, cherishing every single square inch of your body.

The soothing comfort oozing out of your lover lulled you into your sleep, eyelids drooping down into nothingness. Or maybe, just maybe it was his Genjutsu. He swears by it not to use it on you, because it induces headaches. But this time… it maybe was different.

Itachi’s pupils were finally shot open, his Mangekyo blazing in revenge. Let’s just say, the Bandit clan that caused this mishap on your way to the Hidden Sand had a thousand members, women, children. All unspared, all despicable, all worthless & useless.

Itachi had only one trail of logic, they were all future criminals if not present, the women are ill born and gave birth to those future criminals, the men have their hands stained by blood already. War is the masterpiece of havoc seen by Itachi; to protect his own, to save another war happening, he is just eliminating another threat.

That was the only trail in his mind when he massacred each and every single one of them. Eradicating their blood line from the land, blood stained all over his face. He knew the real reason isn’t war, isn’t the logic that he built up. The real reason was your Sharingan.

Your newly awoken Sharingan needed a sacrifice, it only deemed fit after you lost your innocence, after you were drilled with grief.

Maybe you will wake up and hate Itachi, to be a Shinobi is to be hated after all. Maybe he will hide it from you. Maybe he will confess. All of that can be handled later.

[good-beanswrites]

I’m thinking about the angst of the restraints headcanon again. There’s the two with the least physically violent crimes, and they rank relatively low in strength. There’s the child who was violent but had to be really crafty about it; she’s the weakest of all of them. And the most dangerous of the guilty prisoners cannot be restrained.

This makes me so emotional!!! All three are the smallest of their circles. Two of them are extremely ordinary people who have never experienced/expressed physical violence before. One hadn't even fathomed the idea of someone dying until they actually did. And yet, they're subjected to the type of restraints you'd expect to see on someone who is uncontrollably violent. The fact that prisoners who committed very gruesome murders can walk free (including Mikoto) just adds insult to injury. I still couldn't everything into words, but here's a Mahiru-centric drabble featuring the same thoughts. It takes place after T1 closes but before the attacks.

“Where are our rights?”

Fuuta’s shout caused Mahiru to wince. She perched on her bedding, watching the two prisoners she’d invited to her cell. It hadn’t been the fun kind of invitation, though. Back in school, she always wanted to have parties and dates back at her place. Moving to the city, she imagined what it would be like to make university friends and take them back home with her to talk, eat, and have fun. 

Sitting in her dim gray cell with Fuuta and Amane, all of them held fast by complex sets of restraints, was not what she’d had in mind.

Amane knelt in the corner. Her arms were crossed, as if pouting, though the opposite was true. A moment ago her eyes had lowered in prayer, but it was difficult to find any peace of mind now. Fuuta snapped and shouted as he paced the length of the cell bars. They were unlocked, but like the others, he didn’t feel like being out in front of everyone. He’d give his uniform a violent jerk every now and then, but it didn’t do any good. Between his strides and growls, he made Mahiru think of those poor wild animals they keep at the circus.

“Take it easy, Fuuta.” She mustered up a smile. “Come rest with us.”

“I can’t believe you two. You’re just gonna sit here and take it? I didn’t do a fucking thing! They’re acting like I’m some big danger to society,” he yanked his arms again, to no avail. “All I did was type some things onto a screen. I’m not gonna go around stabbing anyone or anything. And you, you didn’t hurt anyone either!”

He nodded his head to Mahiru. If her arms weren’t already folded over her chest, she would have hugged herself anyway. 

“Well… I did hurt him in the end… I broke his heart badly enough that… I mean, he…”

Fuuta made a disgusted sound. “That’s all stupid romance stuff. I’m saying, you never stabbed him. Never strangled him. Never poisoned his food, or –”

“Oh god, no! How horrible…”

“Exactly! From what we’ve heard, it sounds like Haruka killed someone with his bare hands. I think Muu had a knife or something. Shidou had a whole arsenal of grisly doctor tools. Kotoko has openly talked about how she beat that guy to death. Why are they allowed to walk free while we’re tied down like wild animals?”

Mahiru was glad she hadn’t mentioned the circus.

“And Amane! It’s not like she did anything violent, and here she is!”

“That is not true.”

Both paused as Amane spoke up for the first time. 

“Eh?”

“While I disagree with my verdict, the restraints make sense.” The others still stared blankly. As matter-of-fact as always, she continued. “I killed with my own hands. I used the amount of force I was instructed to. Just as the sinner fears the wrath of heaven, I can understand how the godless warden would fear my justice.”

Fuuta’s passion wavered, but Mahiru could feel her heart ache for the girl. “Oh Amane… I had no idea. To be pushed to the point of violence at your age…”

“I am not to be pitied. As I said, I am dangerous, and proud to be. I am doing god’s work. All heroes must be dangerous.”

Fuuta grunted, but said nothing. Mahiru gave her a gentle smile. “It’s not pity. Even if you were dangerous, it’s horrible to restrain someone like you. You’ve already had to brave so much, as the smallest of the bunch.”

She looked between the two. A sad laugh escaped her. “Now that I think of it, I guess we’re all the smallest here, hm? Aside from maybe Muu, we don’t have much height or strength on the others…”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Fuuta cried. “The fuck do they think we’re going to do?” Mahiru was just glad he’d focused on that rather than the fact she’d just called him weak. 

Voices raised in conversation down the hallway. Mikoto’s laugh echoed faintly into the cell.  

It warmed Mahiru to hear. Things had been so hard on him here. Though it had been frightening to hear him shouting at the restraints til his voice was raw – well, it wasn’t him shouting – it had been a relief when he appeared free and relaxed the following day. He seemed sheepish that he wasn’t able to help the others, having no memory of his escape. Mahiru just kept telling him how happy she was for him.

Fuuta didn’t share in the sentiment. “Meanwhile, Mikoto gets to stroll around free, and he beat the shit out of Es! He could snap and kill any one of us here, and they don’t even give a damn. But ooohhh, god forbid the guy who’s never been violent a day in his life is allowed to use his own two hands!”

The harshness of his voice wasn’t doing his argument many favors. Still, his words were beginning to get through to Mahiru. 

She’d worked so hard to be a model citizen. She was supposed to have a perfect life. She could cook, clean, sew, and take care of children. She did herself up every day; she was never a slob or a slut. She was generous to everyone she met. She showered the world around her in love. Wasn’t it unfair that her hands were tied like some common criminal? What was all that effort for – being patient when people upset her, being kind even when she disagreed with someone, all of that – if she was going to end up in the same place as someone who had stabbed another out of sheer malice?

Amane didn’t seem to be whirling with the same doubts. She closed her eyes once more. “It is simply a trial from heaven. We may be small, but all of us have an internal strength that will carry us through the ordeal.”

“I don’t think it’s any sort of religious thing, but you’re right,” Fuuta puffed his chest out. “Trials like this only make people stronger!” 

“Do you think so?” Mahiru wasn’t sure if she was asking either of them or just musing to herself. It was a nice thought. This was all part of destiny, something meant to be that would make her stronger in the end. 

But she wasn’t so sure she believed in destiny anymore. It hadn’t quite worked out the first time. 

“Hell yeah!” Fuuta must have assumed she was in fact asking him. He gave a wide, toothy grin. “It’s not like we can get any weaker, right? The warden better watch out next trial – they’ve got a big storm coming!”

[waivyjellyfish]

How do the prisoners react to meeting the Dokuro family and finding out that Es isn’t human?

Sorry it took so long, real world catched me. And thank you for your question.

Well. Like a lot of normal people, I think. They was shocked. And it was difficult to understand it.

It’s kind of hard to react any other way, when right in front of your eyes a little girl(no) appears through a breach in the wall and easily blowing your 15-year-old warden's head. And then the warden recovers from that as if nothing had happened and drags you out of prison as if it were meant to, brushing questions aside like annoying flies with short "later".

I mean, yes, the Milgram prison is frankly strange, no windows, no doors, no calendar, and some strange thing in the form of a giant machine to extract memories, or strange, unpleasantly shrill mental walls that forbid physical aggression against the warden at first, and later against the other prisoners too. A strange warden with a mind of their own, who's always talking with a terribly clever horned rabbit. (Are these real horns or are they attached to the hat?) And with meaningful dialogue. But the only one side of the conversation can be heard, so who knows if they really hears the rabbit voice or they're got nuts long time ago. And the claim that this rabbit is the one who cooks all dish. Honestly, it sounds more like an excuse for not respecting kitchen hygiene than the truth.

All this is, undoubtedly, strange and resembles some sci-fi movie with elements of psychological horror. But not a fantasy.

And yeah. The warden themself is strange, but not so to suspect a monster in them. Everything can be explained, right?

Yeah, they're talking to the rabbit. It’s weird, but some people with pets do it too. The warden is obviously lonely. Don't you think?

Blood craving? Well, there are people who have a craving for blood, aren’t there?

Sharp teeth? Fuuta has that too.

Gender is unknown? Androgynes exist, dears.

Their bruises and wounds heals in an hour or two? Well the warden is 15, children are healing at a fairly rapid rate, and also there is a fairly balanced diet. So everything kind of fits together… (exept the fact that the swollen eye after Mikoto’s interrogation disappeared the next day. this is strange of course)

Sometimes they says with certainty something that people can’t do, like that it’s actually possible to cut something off for better regeneration or talking to the dead, or that metal is edible. Well, the kid has no memory of what happened with them before Milgram, only the prisoners, the talking rabbit and the books in their private room can connect them with outside world in some ways. They're very impressionable, poor child. And they seems to lack iron.

(As my friend jocked: -I thought you were neurodivergent. -Nah, I just isn't human)

So, of course, the prisoners were not prepared for it. Not for a very radical way of warden's regeneration, nor for a one-eyed(no) giant-girl with a tail, nor for a guy in his 30+ who looks like a 14-15-year-old girl. Not for the fact that a very small group who came after their child is going to smash the prison building brick by brick and catch everyone who was involved in it in less than two hours after they broke into the panopticon.

----

Talking about the future. Later, some of the prisoners even managed to integrate into the family, albeit a little voluntarily forced. But there is one thing. To join Dokuro, you have to take their crazy rhythm of life, which means a partial loss of human common sense. In addition, few people with a long connection with Dokuro remain ordinary people. Wanting to keep up with monsters is fraught with the fact that you can become a monster yourself, relative to your past self. And given their longevity and their work, it’s easier to change to not to die too quickly.

This family is stupid in everything, absolutely mad and at first glance has no brakes. The sense in their actions is very difficult to catch. The constant replenishment of the family by children picked up on worlds during work, the frequent reckless actions that would have led them to death, but not, hard training to go beyond. It’s exhausting. But it’s probably the most fascinating.

[daryascurse]

THE CABIN MASTERLIST

── Who's surviving the night? Final descriptions/ titles subject to change at publication. All tags, descriptions, etc., are taken from the original author; please see individual posts for more information.

(back to the cabin door) (participation rules)

S L A S H E R

🔪 “Season in Hell” by @blondeboyfriend : Hyakunosuke Ogata (Golden Kamuy) - The summer camp you're working at is being terrorized by a unseen force that is picking off your fellow counselors one by one.

🔪 “UNTITLED” by @spiteless-xo : Eren Jaeger [maybe + Jean Kirstein] (Attack on Titan) - home invasion.

🔪 “UNTITLED” by @hash-slinging-slasher-trash : Tomura Shigaraki (My Hero Academia) - and the calls were coming from inside the house.

🔪 “The Sleepover” by @stephisokay modern au Sabo x Reader Games, drinks, and sex are what’s at your usual sleepover. In this sleepover, crushes, deception and corpses are additional and free!

S U P E R N A T U R A L / P S Y C H O L O G I C A L

🏚️ "Quiet Through the Trees" by @daryascurse(me): modern au Erwin Smith x Reader A haunted ranch and one lonely handsome farmhand - this could be the most intriguing airbnb listing you've seen.

🏚️ “The Devil Pays More” by @mochimooon : modern au Jean Kirstein x afab!Reader To bolster your resumé before your last year at university, you snag a summer internship at a local start-up. On the surface, everything appears standard—a cute colleague, a creepy boss, disappearing interns, a cult—?

🏚️ “Them Changes” by @rougepancake : Dio Brando x afab!Reader You and your… rather odd friend get snowed in a cabin together in the middle of summer. What you don’t know is that he’s withholding some rather interesting information from you. Just what exactly have you gotten yourself into?

🏚️ “Reigen Arataka: Your Lover, Your Prey” by @arabaka : Arataka Reigen (Mob Psycho 100) x Reader Reader is a kitsune going through her first heat cycle; unfortunately, your boyfriend Reigen is asleep when it first strikes... Maybe you can get away with it... Just maybe...

🏚️ “UNTITLED” by @soleilnomoon : Izou (One Piece) - haunted / cursed mirror trope.

🏚️ “UNTITLED” by @kiirschtein : Megumi Fushiguro *aged up (Jujutsu Kaisen) - ghost boy starts to fall for the pretty new owner of the house he’s stuck in.

🏚️ “UNTITLED” by @stariwrites : Mikoto Suoh (K Project) - mayhem-causing vampire group; inspired by The Lost Boys. 🏚️ “UNTITLED” by @mriachka : Quanxi (Chainsaw Man) - summer meet-cute which slowly descends into horror.

C R E A T U R E F E A T U R E

🧜🏽‍♀️ "cicadas in the background" by @callmeburgor modern au Kisame Hosigaki x gn!Reader Fresh air, scenic views, and a beautiful lake offer a perfect retreat when you need to escape life's troubles. But your peace, however, is shattered when rowdy campers move into the cabin next to yours and an eerie presence in the lake takes a keen interest in you.

my blog is always 18+. please respect my rules and the rules of original writers when interacting. Ageless, blank, and clearly minor-run blogs that interact will be blocked. If you have questions about what that means, please read the byf in my pinned post.

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Cat: Initial Thoughts

Venus here, sorry if this is shakier than usual! I have a lot less thoughts on this MV for one reason or another, so it’ll probably be faster and possibly less detailed, but I want to get my opinions into the world anyways.

Let’s just get to it!

T/W: suicide, substance abuse, homophobia

Kazui didn’t cheat on his wife.

As always, I’m using @onigiriico​’s super fast translation of the audio drama, so thanks so much!

In said audio drama, Es says Kazui was unfaithful. However, he says that “it didn’t even turn into infidelity.” Obviously, that implies that it could have been or that it got close, but he doesn’t say it’s actually infidelity, and in most senses, I’m willing to believe him.

At 2:20, Kazui has just recently had the apple sneak up on him again. He seems distressed, saying he “can’t be normal,” and then takes off his ring and says, cigarette in hand, “let’s take a breather.” His wife looks quite distressed. 

My best guess is that this is Kazui asking for a break. Now, obviously, it’s not the most faithful thing to be super tempted in cheating to the point of asking for a break. Still, it does mean that he did stop himself before he violated an active relationship where it seemed like nothing was wrong, so that’s a plus.

I’m not sure if it was just straight-up temptation or if he might have had an emotional affair with someone. Emotional affair would make some sense to me (more on that in a sec), but I have no idea who it would be with. I’m honestly hoping the interview questions might help us out there to an extent.

The person Kazui didn’t-quite-cheat with is someone who stands out from the other people Kazui meets.

This is largely based upon my interpretation of 1:08, shortly after the wedding sequence.

There are a ton of apples, but most of them are red. In fact, we only see one green apple. That green apple is the one that follows Kazui throughout the rest of this MV, and it’s the one that keeps sneaking up on him in the half MV. Because it’s the one he eventually bites, I think there’s plenty of reason to believe that this is the person he has relations with outside of his marriage.

I want to focus on the fact that it is green, because that obviously makes it stand out. I don’t think that this is just to make it more identifiable; I think there’s a point being made here.

Kazui IS gay?

Yeah, uh... I wasn’t sold on this one at first, when I first watched half, but as I think I’ve said before, the longer we go on, the more I think it’s true. Like, yeah, it does seem like there’s more to it than just Kazui having relations outside of his marriage.

The entire MV, he’s talking about the charade. He’s clearly living the life that a guy is “supposed” to lead; eventually, you get married to a woman and go down the journey of life together. Still, the fact that, even at the altar, he calls it “loving affection minus love” seems to imply that he feels, at least in retrospect, like the love was never present. He didn’t fall out of love with his wife, it simply wasn’t ever there. He married her out of obligation.

Through in the suspect interview questions about his childhood friend who he went fishing with or whatever and lines from Kazui’s POV saying stuff like “I can’t be normal,” and... I think Kazui is kinda just a closeted gay man?

I say “just” here, and I mean that literally. If you trust his audio drama, he says that he wants his “sin” to be found out, but even so, Es hasn’t found it yet. To me, my best theory is that he just has internalized homophobia and his big “sin” is the fact that he’s gay. I honestly kinda hate this explanation though, just because that is nowhere NEAR a crime on the level of the other prisoners, so please let me know if you disagree/if I’m missing something here.

Kazui has developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I don’t remember if we’ve heard why Kazui smokes before. I know that Shidou says that he does it because he wants to be unhealthy, and Mikoto presumably does because he thinks it makes him seem cool or something. I don’t remember learning anything similar about Kazui.

Still, with the moments at which he pulls out a cigarette or a drink in this MV, I definitely feel like he’s using substances to dull the pain of... I don’t know, life? His constant lying and the self hatred that goes along with it, probably. 

Obviously, he went to the bar in the half MV, but this time, the devs are definitely trying to draw attention to it. There’s a line in the song that’s literally just “oh wow I’m drunk,” and that line is important enough that it shows up as background text at other points in the MV. 

I don’t really know what this means for Kazui character interpretation, but it’s something to consider. For whatever it’s worth, it does make me believe the self-pitying “act” a little bit more; if he didn’t actually pity himself/feel upset that he has to lie all the time, I don’t know what he’s drinking so much for.

Kazui’s wife committed suicide because... ???

This is one of the big places where I’m kinda stumped. Kazui says that she died because he told her the truth. If I’m right and his crime is being gay... I don’t get it? 

I know that divorce is pretty taboo in Japan, so my best shot at it would be that, in being honest with everything, Kazui asks for a divorce because he knows that he can’t ever love her. If that would mean that she’s dead socially or something, that COULD be a potential reason she would commit suicide? I don’t love that explanation, but it’s all that I have right now.

Other Things I Want To Mention But Don’t Have Full Thoughts On:

- In the first MV, Kazui bites the apple. In the second one, he bites the dove. There’s probably some connection here, but I honestly have no idea what it could be.

- “Love, it’s tacky, this two way deceit.” What two-way deceit is Kazui talking about? Like, I get him calling himself the perpetrator and her the victim if he’s saying she’s a victim of his lies. Still, if that’s the case, why would the deceit be two-way? 

- Copzui canon? I saw that undercover cop theory and mostly disregarded it as “probably too out there to be true,” but honestly, it seems basically confirmed at this point. The only struggle I have is what to do with the information. I don’t think that knowing he’s a cop really changes anything about how I read his character or the situation? Other than possibly suggesting that yes, he cares very much about social laws/rules and making sure society stays “correct.”

- What do I make of Kazui asking for an innocent verdict along with the premise of “I can protect the other prisoners”? I don’t really like him bargaining with his strength for a verdict--especially after Kotoko trial 1, I don’t trust bartered verdicts--but on the other hand, it’s true that it’d be nice to have him on defense for whatever the devs might spring on us between trials 2 and 3. 

Anyways...

CURRENT VOTE: INNOCENT

I was actually pretty shocked when I opened the votes and saw a slight guilty majority. To me, the big thing is that... well, I don’t really know why I’d vote him guilty. He’s useful to us, he doesn’t seem like he’s done all that much wrong. I can’t really come up with a genuine reason that I’d want to give him a guilty verdict at this point, so it’s innocent for me.

(Plus, if I’m not sure, I always lean towards a 50/50 so it’s more possible to change the verdict later. So, while he’s guilty-leaning, I’m DEFINITELY voting innocent.)

[alicesadventuresinffxiv]

FFxivWrite2024 Prompt #16 / #wolkrileweek Prompt #3 (Echo)

Title: Third-Rate Azem

Wordcount: 1288

Spoilers through: Shadowbringers (5.3), Eureka

Alternate Universe: WoL!Fordola

Relationships & Characters: Fordola, Krile (Azem), little bit of implied Krile/Tataru

Summary: After defeating Elidibus and returning from the First, Fordola has some pointed questions for Krile about their shared abilities.

(A follow-up to my previous entry! As with that one, this is a blend of both challenge prompts. Apologies for the sheer lack of context with this AU… I did my best to make it comprehensible, but I’m not sure how well I succeeded. Mostly, I just wanted a chance to write Krile and Fordola bantering again. They’re surprisingly fun together!)

.

When Fordola dumped handfuls of multicolored, constellation-etched crystals onto a table in the Rising Stones, Krile knew her time was up. Until now, she'd managed to keep her ancient memories secret, keep up the facade that nothing about herself had changed. But no longer.

Krile looked down at the mess and took a deep breath. “Tataru, would you be so kind and put tea on for two? I suspect this may be a lengthy conversation.”

“Tea for two, coming right up!" Tataru affirmed cheerfully. "Still, if it's Scion business, I don't suppose I could listen in, could I?"

Krile paused. If she was going to tell Fordola, Tataru deserved an explanation just as much, if not more.

And yet… she’d grown so close to the faithful secretary these past few moons of caring for the Scions. The long hours spent gossiping together in the quiet of the Rising Stones, the delicious meals the other woman always brought her whenever Krile had been at her wits’ end… they had been a lifeline back to normalcy while the rest of Krile’s life had been turned back to front and upside down. 

She would tell Tataru eventually. She would tell all their friends. But she wasn’t ready yet.

“I’m sorry. I would prefer this conversation remain private. It will be somewhat… personal.”

“Oho?” Tataru hummed, clearly intrigued, but then she shrugged. The Scions did much business she could not be privy to, for all sorts of reasons. “Well, suit yourselves!”

Fordola didn’t take her eyes off Krile as the tea arrived, watching her like a hawk even as Tataru bustled between them with the cups and pot. 

The moment the door closed, she launched into her accusation. “These belonged to Elidibus. They’re memory crystals, used to raise up new Ascians. And the crystal you left for me - the one that allowed Ardbert to lend me his strength - it’s no different.” As always, Fordola was exceedingly blunt. "You're an Ascian wearing that girl's skin."

Krile’s eyes widened, but Fordola left her no opening to speak. 

"I don’t want your excuses. I just want to know: was it always you? And if so, then what am I?”

Having said her piece, Fordola sat back to judge Krile’s reaction.

The Lalafell let out a small snort. Then a giggle. Then, unable to stop herself, she devolved into full-on laughter. “By the Twelve, is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?”

Fordola sulkily looked away and crossed her arms. “It’s a reasonable conclusion given the evidence.”

“Then let me set your concerns to rest: I am no Ascian.” Krile patted her chest. “‘Tis true that my soul was once part of a whole borne by a citizen of Amaurot. But that is naught worthy of special note. Arenvald, Mikoto… Minfilia and Ryne… save the Resonant, all those who walk in memories are the same. As are many even without the Echo.”

Fordola’s expression remained skeptical. “I don't see Arenvald carrying around magicked rocks. Least none he's ever shown me.”

“I suppose that detail does merit an explanation.” Krile nodded. “Do you recall our investigation of the Isle of Val?”

“Aye. Could hardly forget all the run around just to get in the bloody Arsenal.” But Fordola tilted her head. Curious despite herself.

“I discovered the crystal amongst my grandfather’s papers. A final gambit by Emmeroloth - though how it came to be in her possession, I cannot say. In any case, the magick achieved its purpose.”

Unimaginable suffering. Unending tragedy. The Echo was but a faded remnant. The reality Krile could now remember was so much more visceral. A beloved city, in flames. Friends and family, slaughtered before her eyes or stepping forward to sacrifice their own lives. Their absence scarring wounds deep in the heart that none now had the understanding to heal.

Wounds that were hers, and yet, were not.

“So that’s how it is.” Fordola winced. Their training sessions had done much to improve her control, but the stronger the emotion, the more difficult the Echo was to deny. “You’re like that girl what used to be Loghrif.”

“Gaia?” The name sprung unbidden from the vaults of Krile’s memories, though Fordola had not spoken of her before. “Mitron’s lover?”

Fordola shrugged. “Ryne’s lover, now. Didn’t want her memories, nor Mitron neither. ”

“I see.” Krile blinked. The fragments swimming at the surface of Fordola’s thoughts painted a familiar picture indeed. One of a painful dilemma, a soul torn between its old life and its new. “Indeed, I’ll not deny it. Like her, I was of the Convocation. Mine was the seat of Azem, my duty to travel the star, to come to understand the joys and sorrows of all peoples in all places. Thus was I selected due to the nature of my gift.”

She lifted her head to meet Fordola’s eyes. “Our gift.” 

Then her gaze fell back to the gently steaming cup Tataru had so eagerly prepared for her. “But that duty belongs to an age long since ended. I can no more wield creation magicks nor galavant around the star than you can. Should I attempt to invoke the crystal’s powers myself, I would gamble all of the person I am now for a fraction of the person I had once been. And for every obstacle, every crisis we face, the temptation to use it would only grow stronger.”

“Do not ask me to make that choice,” she pleaded to her reflection in the amber liquid.

Fordola was silent for a good while. Then: “...hypocrite.” she eventually muttered. "So you’re ducking responsibility, meaning it’ll be my soul what gets buggered instead."

Krile raised an eyebrow as she sipped at her tea. "Oh, please. As if you don't enjoy running about and playing a hero in my place.”

“I’m no hero, and we both know it.” The ex-prisoner ran a finger along her collar for emphasis.

“Ah, my mistake.” Krile set her cup down and smiled, the picture of innocence. “I merely address the much-celebrated Warrior of Darkness, I presume?”

"Hmph! A third-rate hero, at best.” But Fordola was flustered at being caught out. From even the faintest brush with her mind, it was obvious how much her experience in the other world had meant to her. “The real Warrior of Light would never have been corrupted by the light. I'm just the unlucky sod the Exarch got when he tried to summon you."

She pushed the pile of crystals across the table, Azem’s included. “And these - I’ve no claim to them.” Then she frowned, her head bowed as she spoke half to herself. “Nor to Ardbert, whatever’s left of the poor bastard.”

Krile laid a gentle hand on Fordola’s arm, but not even a tingle greeted her touch. It appeared her counterpart’s soul was quite content to remain fused.  “You want the chance to make a difference. I want the chance to remain myself.” She picked up the orange crystal, and decisively placed it in front of the Highlander again. “Even should such a thing be possible, I see no reason to attempt to un-spill milk that no one’s crying to see on the floor.”

Fordola slowly closed her fingers over the stone, her mind still a storm of uncertainty.

"Besides..." Krile winked. "Finders keepers. It's well past time the Convocation ceded its seats to a new generation."

The knowledge that Hades would most certainly be furious when at last she joined him in the Aetherial Sea just made the decision all the easier. Perhaps some things about Krile had not changed after all.

And Fordola must have sympathized, because there was the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips as she put the crystal back in her pocket.

[alfiely-art]

I'm voting Kotoko Guilty this round for quite a few reasons. First off, the only other two characters who have been voted guilty are Haruka and Muu. Yk. Minors. Who are already in a shitty mindset, who's verdict will most likely make that worse? Yeah. I would rather not have them beat up by Kotoko. And she WOULD beat them up- she would have beat up Amane if she hadn't been stopped, and Amane is much younger than Haruka and Muu.

I don't even mind her fighting injustice to feel good about herself. I mean, she's still fighting injustice. Regardless of her personal feelings about it, she's still doing good things. It's the way she goes about it that worries me. The article she was reading on her phone states that "more violence than necessary was used". Of course, the article could always be biased, but Kotoko has shown herself to be a violent person. Her call to us to vote everyone else in Milgram as Guilty, regardless of their crime, is a request for us to give her permission to make them her enemy and crush them. She would apply the same amount of force to, say, Yuno- someone who simply had an abortion because she didn't want the baby- as a person who kidnapped a child.

Kotoko sees everything in black and white. Yuno's "crime" of an abortion is just as evil as Haruka's crime of murder. Here's a reminder of the character's crimes (from my understanding):

Haruka: killed out of desperation to be seen, to have his mother finally acknowledge him after he wasn't good enough (ie, neurotypical) to keep up with the other kids.

Yuno: Had an abortion because she didn't want the baby. She didn't have some tragic reason why, she had a normal life. She was simply doing as she pleased.

Fuuta: Took part in cancel culture, which ended up doxxing a minor and she took her own life. He didn't want to accept responsibility for this, but it was clearly weighing on his mind.

Muu: She bullied others with her friends, and then her friends turned on her. She reached out to a classmate for help, but didn't receive any. Muu stabbed her in a panic, after alluding to either her or the classmate dying at the end of all of this.

Shido: Medical malpractice ? I think ? It's still not clear to me idk

Mahiru: Abused her boyfriend until he offed himself due to her sheltered life and toxic positivity. She feels as though she can't change, and she wants someone to love even if it hurts both of them.

Kazui: Lied about romantically loving his wife so that he could fit in to society at large. When he finally opened up about his feelings, the shock of it all caused his wife to end her life. He cared for her, but can't continue lying like this.

Amane: Killed her abuser, and is clinging to religion to both justify it to herself and comfort herself.

Mikoto: Still unclear whether he or John did the murder, how many murders there were, who was murdered, etc. The focus isn't exactly on the murder, moreso how mentally ill people are pushed to their limit with no support or help from others and the unhealthy coping mechanisms that can arise from that.

She tells us to throw away our sympathy. But understanding and kindness and sympathy are so so so important- not just in Milgram, but everywhere else, too. Yes, these are just characters, but a popular theory is that they represent societal issues. And I do believe that's true. They may not be real, but they represent real problems real people face. By ignoring the nuance, we blindly swing at whatever we're told is "guilty". Kotoko only attacked the prisoners we announced as Guilty. She won't act on her own moral code, merely the law. We are the law in Milgram, so she follows us.

I adore Kotoko, but her mindset is genuinely dangerous. While this is unlikely (cough, Amane) I hope her Guilty vote will help her. But it probably won't- Guilty votes destroy a person. But I can't vote her Innocent, either. I don't forgive her for her black and white thinking. Thus, she is Guilty to me. I'm very curious how she'll develop after this. I'm a little scared, too, but oh well.

[sinfulequity]

Is it a swarm or a mob?

Hi! So I was meant to make a Fuuta-Muu post, right? And, well, it was meant to be on my main but like. I made this blog! I'm sure as heck gonna use it lol

Anyways, it's primarily about how they communicate, though I touch on other stuff. With that being said, thank you in advance and I hope you enjoy!

First to head the charge, yet always last in line- You guessed it, I'm starting with Fuuta! The guy that, even when trying to do a good deed, comes off as a dick, yet compared to a puppy by the author themself. Now Fuuta seems to be someone who likes communicating in a group, despite how abrasive he comes off in milgram. In that sense, Mikoto's considering Fuuta as attention seeking is spot on!

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly. Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here?……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross. Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right? Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

He's trying to make a social group he can fall back on, even if it's something as small as commiserating about their situation together. (The way he wants to communicate seems to moreso fall in line with how Mikoto does; granted, with more aggressiveness)

Q.01 What do friends mean to you? Futa: People who get excited about the same things as you

He's stated before that people he likes talking to are ones that can get hyped about the same things as him. This can also be seen in his behaviour in milgram; a prime example is how he interacts with Haruka.

Futa: You said you don’t play any games, right? Do you not watch league or premier either? Haruka: E-eh, I, I don’t understand, what that is…… That… uh, “leeg”? Futa: Huh!? It’s international soccer. It’s normal for guys your age to know stuff like that. What a pain… I really have nothing to talk to you about, huh. Even though we’re around the same age. Also don’t speak to me so formally. It’s gross. Haruka: Ah, e-excu-, I don’t, I uh… got it…… Futa… kun……

He's implied to have repeatedly told Haruka to be less formal with him! He's also asked about hobbies that he's already interested in, seemingly to try and use it to get closer to Haruka. There are exceptions (i.e. Yuno showing off what she does for her younger brother) but that moreso dovetails into my next point of observation.

Fuuta doesn't like to be perceived as vulnerable. Which, I think everyone has noticed because dude's an anxious wreck. Like seriously! He tries to be the group representative cause he thought Es treated Yuno badly (and if we were to give him credit, extrapolated that Haruka might not have been treated well too because it's clear that Haruka's standards aren't the highest), but is shaking like a leaf and breathing weirdly.

Futa: Haa…… haa…… Ok…… Kotoko: What’s up, Futa.……your breathing seems a bit uneven? Futa: Huh!? I’m getting ready to fight. That guard is looking down on all of us……! Kotoko: ……hmm. Is that so…… I’m looking forward to it. To seeing what your “justice” really is.

This trial he tries to barter a better verdict before breaking down and begging cause he can't take it any more! Which, given Shidou's report of injuries, I really can't blame him?

Either way, this pairs really badly with another trait that he seems to have; not really being able to join a conversation properly unless shown a clear indication that his input is wanted. A good example of this is actually Mahiru's birthday interaction with him. He only goes into talking about her birthday when she implies it's something that he should be making an active interaction with instead of reactively asking what she means.

Mahiru: Fufu, it’s a special day today. I can’t help but feel something good’s going to happen. Futa: What’s with all the muttering to yourself. It’s creepy. Mahiru: Geez, you really don’t understand, Futa-kun. You’ll never have a proper romance with that attitude! Futa: Who cares. Obviously this is because today’s your birthday. It’s just the day you happened to be born, it doesn’t mean anything. Here, I’ll give you my tomato, so just shut up and eat it. That’s your birthday present, so be grateful.

Wrapping back to something I mentioned earlier, this might be a thing that Mikoto picked up on as attention seeking.

Fuuta actually has pretty rigid thinking in terms of socializing! I'd say that was interesting but also that tracks, given that he does most of his socializing online. But he also has very firm schemas as to how people should act/socialize from their perceived roles in society (i.e. stating that he doesn't really talk to girls because he doesn't want to be involved in "girl talk"-

Q.05 What do you like in the opposite sex? Futa: Someone who can have a conversation on the same level as me. The things girls talk about are usually all boring

-and being upset with Kazui and Shidou for not being proactive about trying to escape this situation

Futa: The ones I don’t particularly like are Shido and Kazui. The old geezer duo. Even though we’re in a state of emergency here, even though they’re the oldest out of us all, they’re acting like they don’t have a care in the world. I can’t believe they’re so unreliable. They’re good for absolutely fucking nothing!

). It's simultaneously really old fashioned and a product of our time. It's honestly a frustrating aspect of his character.

Though at the same time, it's a view that makes him susceptible to indoctrination. This vulnerability has only gotten wider since the end of the first trial, with the voters' voices, Kotoko's assault and the fact that he never really had a strong sense of self to begin with. It's almost a shame I didn't write this up earlier because I have to say; with the lesson that Fuuta seems to have learned from our first vote (I never should have stuck my nose in other people's business) and this, I feel like Fuuta is in a very dangerous position mentally. Not that voting him guilty/unforgiven would have been better but. Idk this seems like something that's bad to affirm.

Second up is the queen B herself, Muu! Is that a Bee or a Belle? Hmm, I wonder~ (in all seriousness, her change from trial one to trial two feels more like a dark version of Cinderella if we're truly making fairy tale references)

Now Muu is someone who likes feeling comfortable and as such, she tends to hang out with people who allow her the freedom of opinion. That, and people who actually pay her "proper" attention.

Q.01 What do friends mean to you? Mu: People who listen properly to what I say

Oddly enough though, while she functions just fine in group environments (easily taking charge of her prior friend group) she actually seems to prefer one on one conversations?? For the most part, she seeks out people to talk to when they're by themselves or in a small group. This can be seen within the portal timeline, key examples being this conversation implying she went to Haruka's door in order to converse with him as soon as possible,

Mu: Haruka-kun, are you awake……? Happy birthday. Haruka: M-Mu-san? I… I-I’m awake…… Th-thank you, very much. I’m… glad…… Mu: ………… Shall we talk? You know, recently I’ve been pretty interested in you. Haruka: ……!! I-in me…? Hehe, hehehe…… interested, in me.

this conversation implying that Muu actively sought Yuno out in order to get birthday wishes from her,

Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean… Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother………so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

this conversation emphasising her desire for someone's complete attention when she has it,

Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me. Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen. Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things. Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the the guard to see.……the new me…….

and this.

Mu: Hey~~~ Isn’t everyone a bit gloomy lately? I get that this situation isn’t ideal, but you’re really bringing down the mood for my birthday. Yuno: Haha, surely even you can tell now’s not really the time for something like that, right. Nobody’s really in the mood, or rather nobody has time time to deal with something like that. Mu: Boo, how boring. You seem to be free, you can celebrate for me. Go on, celebrate. Yuno: Wow, what a pain. I’m reading the atmosphere properly and keeping quiet. Well, you just go and have fun with Haruka. In the corner somewhere so you’re out of everyone’s way.

There's something to be said about that trait shown within the portal timeline + the shrinking of her group shown in INMF. This feeds back into her wanting people to pay attention to her, though I think it's also a way to pay back that attention in kind, which feeds into my next point.

Muu is a very eye for an eye person. Granted, it seems to be perceived slights as opposed to objective ones. This can feed into one of her more negative traits, that being she can overly exaggerate the hurt in her own experiences (side note, this is likely why that one line was translated as "I am always the drama queen").

Not to say that the hurt she feels isn't, by any means, real, but it can leads to situations where she retaliates in a manner that's far more harsh than what happened to her. Literally a prime example of this is her murder! Like I'm sorry, but murder is not a reasonable response to bullying, much less being ignored. However, this can also go the other way around. Treat her nicely and she's going to treat you well.

This type of attitude is likely why she had such a dismissive reaction to one of her friends thanking her for the lipstick in the After Pain group chat. To use an adage, one good turn deserves another. She gave her friend the lipstick and her friend thanked her (even if indirectly, by complimenting the lipstick). Thus, in her view, it was paid back in kind.

Another, more recent, example of this is her interactions with Haruka. Giving him a makeover, lavishing him with her attention and bringing him food as the guilty verdict sets in for both of them, she has been giving him kind acts. One could argue that she feels that Haruka has been returning this by thanking her and contemplating how best to carry out his vow regarding her verdict (in other words, a continued promise to follow through on his actions when it comes to it- which we know is when and not if, since we know the verdicts).

However, if you want to take a kinder interpretation, she recognizes that Haruka isn't in the mental position to do that. This would be why, on her birthday, she's so insistent about what she's doing being a great thing to Fuuta of all people. Basically, that tightrope between wanting to seek validation but wanting a kind deed to be a kind deed.

However, like Fuuta, Muu also has a very shaky sense of self. Or rather, in her case, a shaky esteem. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she had RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria).

She's someone that looks to see other people's reactions before making a move herself, if subconsciously. And it's very clear that she half expected to be voted guilty and tried to overcompensate for that in INMF. That expectation with the hope/want of getting external validation sure did make a horrifying concoction...

Honestly, her verdict is going to be very touch and go for her. It could turn out well in the end, but there's such a high risk in terms of her mental health (+physical, depending on how the votes go) that it's... Worrying. And Haruka's vow, while providing a sense of comfort currently, is likely going to be detrimental in the long run. For both of them.

Overall, they're two (very) dumb kids that screwed up, and they both justify their actions to themselves in different ways. Fuuta falls back on a sense of justice and the fact that he wasn't the only one involved in his sins. Muu focuses on her pain and the idea that the only person that can truly judge a person is the one in the situation. However-

-they both clearly took things too far, and they know it. Regardless of how they behave, I get the feeling they do regret the results of their actions.

[randomkposts]

I remember the starfish

I love Fire Emblem Fates. My favorite is Awakening, but Fates has a special place in my heart for all of its flaws, and plotholes I love to poke at. No malice meant, if I didn't care, I'd probably just leave it alone. Instead it takes up so much brainspace.

So I think I might want to write something a bit more themed another time, but for now I want to write some scattered thoughts.

First, If I were going to change just one thing, I would give Azura ,Kaze as a retainer. And Shura.

Why? It bugs me that she didn't have any retainers, and Corrin has 3 household staff, their teacher, a childhood best friend, and a Ninja, most of whom are willing to follow them even if they defect. That's pretty excessive, that they just have a small- personally loyal fighting force. And Kaze's just hanging around, a trained retainer not assinged to anyone. And really Mikoto, Azura is your niece, you can give her one retainer at least.

Kaze defecting to Nohr to protect his charge makes arguably more sense then his reasons for defecting to Nohr on Corrins behalf.

Azura recruiting Shura as a retainer, fits with the older of the Nohrian sibilings having a criminal retainer. They also have a personal history between them that would be intresting to explore in a support. A support with Ryoma would also be intresting, as Shura states his family used to serve the royal family until his principality was taken over by Mokushu, so learning more about that would be neat.

Speaking of retainers, Despite three Nobrian Siblings havinging a criminal as a retainer, the person with the weirdest retainers is Hinoka, for having the least retainer-like retainers in the game. And Ryoma has 2 ninjas as retainers, which perhaps says some odd things about his diplomatic choices.

Hinoka does her own chores, protects her retainers, and seems to barely know anything about Azama beforehand. Until we learn from her support with Niles in Revelations that Hinoka hired Setsuna for her skill in archery, I was almost convinced she was hired to annoy Takumi.

And yet they are the last retainers sticking around the Hoshidan royals when they are recruited in Revelations.

Hillarious. Baffling. Lends a diffrent weight to Hinokas support with Saizo in this route, not that it wasn't already weird, but there was more cause for suspicion.

Speaking of supports, Sakura takes Corrin's amnesia as a sign that Silas is cursed. Meanwhile, in Birthright Takumi gets mindwhammied and dragon posessed, and Sakura does nothing to try to help. Which to be fair, nither instance lasted long. Who knows if she could have done anything effective, but in the Conquest one she doesn't seem to take note of his dirastically changed attitude as something to worry about, yet was far quicker to diagnose Silas as "something was off. Maybe its cause Silas a stranger, and she doesn't want to see anything wrong with her closest brother, but I wonder what got her attention in the first place to draw that conclusion.

I haven't played Engage, but even without that I am pretty sure Corrin is the most watched avatar we have ever played. Their big sister Camilia and her retainers makes it 3 in a lifetime, as said by Selena/Severa.

"Selena: Lady Camilla! Sorry we got ahead of you. But you should have heard the horrible things Lord/Lady Corrin said to us. Even though we used to watch over them, they don't remember us at all. Sure, we always stuck to the shadows and never introduced ourselves... but still! I could cry right now. Really! I really could!

Beruka: All that time hovering... caring... watching... it was all for naught. They has no heart.

Camilla: Now, now, you two. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm certain they would remember, given more time. You simply must forgive them."

No wonder Corrin is so chill with Ryoma's Ninjas and other people following them around.

A headcanon, Odin/Owain can use dragon Veins. Anankos can hide his brand, but he can't undo that he is decended from the Exalted line of Ylisse, a heritige who also formed a pact which presumably involved drinking dragons blood. (That does seem to be a series consistant for how one gets a stats edge, with consent of the dragon being pretty important in how well they control it. )

He uses it once by accident. Leo did see it, but never confronts him on it. Maybe they might be siblings, but if this is what kept him alive and he's happy with living his life, then Leo isn't going to be the one to tell anyone. One of them may as well be happy.

If I were going to change something about the Fates Kids, I would mess with Shiro. Ryoma never told him until recruitment that he was royalty. So what if Shiro, figuring Ryoma is impotant, but not connecting the dots (as in cannon) comes to the (incorrect) conclusion that he is the next Saizo. And so comes with the Ninja class, alomg with some family drama, lol.

I would also tone down Soleil's supports, and add some depths to the other kids, but ninja Shiro creating some family drama with the retainers is a concept that amuzes me

I'll end it here for now. Might write a second at some point.

[archivalofsins]

Remember that timeline convo between Amane and Kotoko, where Amane thanked her for not treating her as a child and that she’s not so scary, to which Kotoko responded, “Why would I treat you as a child? I still am the person I was at 12. Also, you’re not so great, suck on that B-.”

Because Pepperidge Farm remembers.

That said, God, I really thought it was some strand of leftover moral keeping her from attacking Amane, not a lack of opportunity.

I remember it sooooo well. That interaction lives in my head rent free!

20/06/18

Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this. Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down.But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach. Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that. Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%.How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.

Kotoko really said in that voice drama if it wasn't for Kazui interferring and Mikoto taking so long to fight she would have jumped that kid. She has always and will forever be about it. When she said remember that she meant that shit.

This is the perfect example of the phrase when people tell you who they are believe them.

Don't give them a defense, don't say you're probably overexagerating, you probably have poor self-esteem. We can unpack that after taking they asses at face value. In order to fix an issue one first has to accepts an issue exists.

Definitely puts all those injured children throughout Harrow in a new light. Especially given her focus in the voice drama of others not being able to do what it takes to actually implement change. People were really like it can't be that bad and Kotoko barged in cd drop like,

"Ha; it's gonna be worse! SO, STUPID WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU ALL SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AN LET ME PROTECT YOU! You're way too soft- What were you thinking that you could make friends?! That these people would change if you were nice and understanding enough. That we'd all hold hands and laught together if you just forgave us? You're far too kind- AND NAIEVE! What next are you just going to forgive them because they're attractive? You need me to do the things that need to be done that you yourself clearly can't do. That's what cooperation is."

It's been amazing because she came in last part of trial two and really gave the audience and Es a kick to the face for all our behavior up until now. Like it's the biggest fuck all of you of trial two. Honestly she kept hitting she did not miss. Not one fucking time. She held that mirror up and shouted at that bitch until it cracked.

Ooooo, boy....

I was not expecting to come out of her voice drama like well now hold on she's a bit wild, a tad unhigned, definitely unforgivable to some, but um she's speaking some truths. There's some truths there that a lot of people who participate in Milgram are not going to like to hear but need to hear regardless.

It was so satisfying to see. Especially after everything this trial. It was just perfect actually after everything we've been through and the logic we've all seen. That- Yeah we deserve to get to sit with that for a bit.

[van-yangyin]

Ryuuya Kitta 1 ~ Introducing my family (I really don't know what title to put here 😕) - IcarRyuu [Ryuuya's POV]

Hello everyone… I don't know how these things work so…. I'm Ryuuya Kitta, nice to meet you all. Today, I'll start by introducing you to my family, my daddy Ryuu (瑠), my papa Tatsu (健) and my mommy Mikoto (光言). Almost all the pictures I'll share around here are made by me, if the quality is bad, especially when I was little and used analog cameras (specifically polaroids), you can't complain, I didn't know nor know how to make it better…. And it's not that I can change their quality, because are already made… who knows is my boy friend Icaro. I will indicate who is the author of the photograph, in the ones that aren't made by me.

I'll start by introducing myself, I'm Kitta Ryuuya (吉田竜矢), you can call me Ryuuya, I would tell you to call me Ryuu but better not, otherwise you want my father to think you call him. Well, unless you don't meet him, if you don't meet him, then you can call me Ryuu. My best friend Icaro sometimes calls me Ryuu-chan, although that's what my parents also call me… Unless they get mad at me because then they call me by my last name and first name, like all parents do when they get mad, I guess. Although I'm sure it's not necessary to point out that your parents won't call you by my last name and my first name, but by yours?

It always happens the same to me, why I start writing about something as simple as my first and last name and at the end I end up talking about what my parents call me and how parents call their children when they scold them? I hope that doesn't bore you because it's something that happens to me quite often.

Oh, that's right… I'll mention it now so I don't forget later and place it somewhere that it doesn't look well integrated. When I take photos I usually put a warm filter afterwards, because the ones I take look like are lifeless. By the way in the second picture I tried to get my best smile, it's not something I'm very good at…. I just wanted to clarify it, in case you find it weird. Also, English isn't my native language, so please be patient with it, and if I've written something really wrong let me know! I really like to learn and improve day by day.

I was born in Suita, in Osaka prefecture, Japan (rightmost part of the Komorebi area), as you can see, above I've put a photo to familiarize you a little bit with the place… Or at least with the concept of the place…. (although it's actually a photo of my old house, taken by me at the age of 7 or 8 before I moved to another place, that's why it looks so busy). At the age of 6, when my mother died, after a couple of years passed, my parents officially declared to the world that they loved each other and were going to continue raising me as a family, they argued with my maternal and paternal grandparents and we moved to Kizugawa City, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan (Evergreen Harbor). From a family house we ended up in a small apartment. I guess at that time my parents wanted to forget about my mother as soon as possible…. There I started at a new school and did quite well, especially with the theoretical subjects and baseball.

Oh, yes, I forgot! Although I don't know if it's something that should go here…. Before I turned 6, at the age of 4, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), a somewhat late diagnosis because of the doctor who took my study. And the doctor said that it would personally make some aspects of my daily life difficult, but it seems that those words to my daddy Ryuu were taken very seriously because to this day he keeps trying to help me in everything he thinks I need help with and also papa Tatsu has also made a kind of alliance with him and they're so heavy handed with me that I think the best way to call them would be helicopter dads. The photo was taken by daddy Ryuu… and they were the ones who put me in those clothes… I know, totally boring clothes.

My favorite animal has always been the cat. I've always loved cats, especially black cats. In fact I've always gotten along very well with them and they've gotten along very well with me, I guess we're alike at some point. The picture was taken by Icaro on the spur of the moment, in case that's something you're wondering about. By the way, have you guys ever listened to the song by 「黒猫のタンゴ」(Kuroneko no tango)? I leave you the link here, listen to it if you want and let me know what you think. This song is inspired by the Italian song "Volevo un gatto nero", if you listen to the tone of this one here, you will see that it's the same, although the songs have nothing to do with each other. The Italian version talks about how the singer wants a black cat but is always given a white cat in exchange for what the others want, while the Japanese version the black cat symbolizes the runaway girlfriend of the singer.

On the other hand, my favorite topics and the ones you will always find me talking about are music and videogames. I love playing the piano, it's something I discovered when I went to school and saw a piano for the first time. On the other hand, video games stimulate me and when it comes to the ones I love, I can't stop speculating everything that happens around it and memorizing everything in it. By the way, the photo was taken also by Icaro, he said loves it when I play the piano, because I transport him to other worlds. Although I was a little worried because Icaro was listening to me.

I think I've already written too much about myself, and I can say more in other posts, so now I'm going to start with my father Ryuu.

This is daddy Ryuu, I took his picture recently. He's a writer and loves to write books for adults. Well, there you can see him at work. A long time ago he married my mom and they had me, when a few years passed my mom died, time passed and papa Tatsu confessed to daddy Ryuu. Daddy Ryuu told me what it's to be bisexual, that he told Papa Tatsu that had always liked both men and women, but that he never wanted to make a step forward, because he also loved Mom very much and didn't want to break the beautiful relationship and friendship that had formed between the three of them. My paternal and maternal grandparents never accepted this relationship, they told him that if he was homosexual why had he played a role by marrying mom and they didn't accept that a person could be able to like both men and women, I think they didn't understand as well as I did what it was to be bisexual, even though I was 9 years old. They believe that you can only like one thing or the other, so with me they have no problem, although they don't know that I've fallen in love with Icaro for who he is and not for being a man, but that's something I'll write about in another publication. My grandparents want me to visit whenever I can, but they don't want to know anything about my parents.

He's papa Tatsu, for as long as I can remember I've always called him papa, although technically at that time he wasn't romantically with either daddy Ryuu or mommy. No one ever denied it to me, not even he himself, so I got used to calling him that from a very young age. When I was little, I called him daddy Tatu, it was very difficult at that time for me to pronounce the character "つ" (tsu), although surely the first few times they heard me pronounce it they laughed at me.

Papa Tatsu works as a journalist. Some time ago he told me that when was studying journalism he worked in a bar part-time. There he met daddy Ryuu while writing books that he sent to publishers to try his luck. He confessed to me that from the day he met him it was love at first sight. I remember asking him why he didn't confess his love to daddy until long after mommy died and he told me it was because he was already engaged to mommy and never wanted to stand in the way.

He also told me that was the best man at his wedding and that mommy always knew that he was in love with daddy Ryuu. In fact, he told me that it was thanks to mommy, for her words of support before she died, that to this day he was formally my dad, because he had the courage to step forward and confess his love. The picture above is one that papa Tatsu and mommy took before I was born, I have permission to post it.

I've always wondered why I look more like papa Tatsu than daddy Ryuu, but they've never said anything to me, so I'd rather let it be.

This is my mother, Mikoto. She has long since left us and protects us from the stars, the sun and the moon. She worked as a medical scientist and developed and conducted experiments to test new drugs and medical devices, as well as studying the root causes of diseases and improving the effectiveness of treatments. Daddy Ryuu says that some people are very sensitive or don't want to read things that may remind them of sad moments in their life, so please if you're reading this, I'm now going to talk about something that happened to my mom and you may not like to read it. The picture I've posted above was of what my mom looked like when I was still very little, something I don't remember and that baby she's holding, is me. That picture wasnt taken by me, it was taken by papa Tatsu, so all rights go to him, he gave me permission to scan it and post it. The written part that comes now you can pass it and go to the end or until you see again this red color, I don't want to cause you bad memories or bad feelings, in fact for that reason is why I left it last.

My mom, Mikoto, died when I was 6 years old. I took that picture when I was little and it's one of my most precious objects. A year after I was born, mom talked to papa Tatsu, he was the first to know what she had. My mother had metastatic cancer, meaning the cancer was already far away from the area where it originated. The doctor told her that the chances of being cured were very low, and she was only given two or three more years to live. There were very remote possibilities of being cured, but the treatment with chemotherapy and pills would at least slow down its growth and reduce her symptoms. My mom was a fighter, she spent 5 years fighting to the end and for that I admire her very much. I was never told what kind of cancer she had, but I know my dad Ryuu and my dad Tatsu were always by her side and helped her in any way they could, plus I'm not very good in the medical field so I don't think would find what I'm looking for (actually I think the only thing I could do is go see the doctor who took her when when I have legal age and ask him) I know I said above that they moved to forget her, but specifically I meant to forget those bad memories that were left in that house. Surely they wanted to move out to treasure the good memories in the memories and videos we take with us.

I took the photo one afternoon when I found a dandelion on my way home. Since at that time my mom couldn't leave the house much anymore, I brought it to her and when we were both on the bed I told her to blow on it to make a wish. Mommy blew it and the dandelion seeds spread all over the room. She looked so beautiful that with my polaroid I took a picture of her (although it was actually with papa Tatsu's help, that's why the photo looks so good, I was 5 years old). I never knew what she asked for that day, and she never wanted to tell me either. By the way, mommy always liked to attach stickers on polaroid pictures, I think it's a habit I ended up picking up from her.

The last time I saw my mom she said, "Promise me that you will take good care of daddy Ryuu and papa Tatsu and that you will always, always, always be a fighter like mommy. This is for you, the bracelet that has accompanied me all my life. When I'm no longer in this world, I want you to know that the stars, the moon and the sun reflected in each pearl will be me watching over you from each one of them." And this photograph is of the bracelet mommy gave me, my bracelet, another of my most precious objects. I never mourned her death, no tears came from my eyes. I don't remember much about her either as I don't have an eidetic or photographic memory like Icaro, but I do remember the sound of her voice, I can always hear it in my mind, tone by tone. Oh, sure, there was a song my mom always sang to me that I remember how it sounded with her tone of voice perfectly my mind, it went like this:

"My little cat, my little cat, is always jumping. My little cat, my little cat, is always going on adventures. What will I do if my little cat gets lost in the grass? Wow, I found my little cat, he's right here!"

「あたしのこねこ、あたしのこねこ、いつもジャンプしている。 あたしのこねこ、あたしのこねこ、いつもぼうけんにでかけている。 もし、あたしのこねこがくさむらでまいごになったらどうしよう？ わぁ、あたしのこねこをみつけたよ！ここにいるよ。」

And right after that she tickled me. Sometimes she would change the lyrics to the song a little bit, depending on the day or the situation, but this was the version sang me the most. If you're wondering if you can find it on the internet the answer is no, because it was a song that mommy created especially for me. If someday I'm not so embarrassed I'll sing it and upload it for you to hear.

And this is the end of today's post. For the first one it has been quite long, hasn't it?

What would you like me to feature in my next post? Would you like me to write about who my best friend Icaro is and how I met him? My best friend Marena? Leave it in comments below.

See you in my next post, although I don't know when it will be yet as I'm learning to manage time and figure out how others work here.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Dayyyyyyy twooooooo: what would they be streaming on twitch and what would their twitch handle be? (Khr or K Peoject, I'll leave it up to you)

Okay, so I’m not going to lie here. I have just the bare fucking basic idea of what Twitch even is or how it works or any of that so these headcanons were hella hard on me and I don’t think they’re my best work, but I hope they make some semblance of sense!

Look, it isn’t that Mikoto is dumb. It isn’t that he’s not technologically literate. It’s simply that pop culture and such along those lines really doesn’t hold his interest. He just doesn’t care about it. He might have heard about Twitch, but he really doesn’t know what it is fully, and he really doesn’t care to learn so I can’t see him as someone who has a Twitch account, let alone someone who would stream things on there.

Kusanagi is another one who is completely uninterested in Twitch. He’d know what it is more than Mikoto would, just because Kusanagi likes to think of himself as a man of culture and knowledge and does keep up to date on things. He just doesn’t much see the point of it and it’s not for him, so he’s another of the HOMRA crew who wouldn’t have a Twitch account.

Totsuka did go through a phase where he was really into video games, and I could see that leading into a whole ‘I’m going to make create a Twitch channel and do all these live-streams and it’s going to be so much fun’ phase. So I do think Totsuka has a Twitch channel and that he was active on it for a couple of weeks, religiously live-streaming whatever game was holding his interest (I could see him really liking a lot of small indie games and streaming those most often) at least twice to three times a week. I think after those couple of weeks though, maybe even a month, he really got over that itch to try it out and kind of abandoned his Twitch channel. He’ll go months without ever thinking about it, though he does randomly get the urge to use it to live-stream video games again, though those urges are short lived and he’s never consistently on more than a week before he’s done with it again. I do think he kept his Twitch handle very short, something punchy but memorable and since he was always getting told, growing up, that he was kind of an ‘odd duck’, that’s what he used – OddDuck.

Anna was allowed a Twitch account, though only for watching and chatting. She went under the display name ‘ʕPrincessÂedʔ’. However, since she used her account mostly to follow and watch the channels of the other HOMRA members, this only lasted until Chitose ended up dabbling in streaming playthroughs on his Twitch channel and one of the other guys caught Anna watching it…somehow, her Twitch account ended up being deleted and the website blocked on the computer she uses. Just mysteriously happened.

Shouhei really only has a Twitch account to follow the other HOMRA members, and a couple friends, Twitch channels. He honestly doesn’t even use it that often, since he is a pretty active, social guy and doesn’t play a lot of video games, I don’t think. But he’s definitely the guy who likes to help and support his bros whenever he can, so the least he can do, he figures, is follow their channels and occasionally watch and chat when they do live-streams and such. His display name is probably something really generic or even just his first name because he’s definitely not the greatest at coming up with snappy or witty names right off the cuff. He’s never actually streamed anything himself, but he has appeared on Bandou and Eric’s streams before once or twice, either as a second player for a two-player game or just accidentally strolling across the screen because he didn’t realize they were streaming.

Bandou definitely has a Twitch channel. His Twitch handle is definitely dorky and silly and way too edgy sounding; it honestly is either named after one of his MMORPG characters or an old Dungeons and Dragons character he had and it sounds like a super-edgy teenage boy game up with it but he loves it. He streams a lot of different things, but I could see him really being big into fantasy or more action-packed games. I do see him being pretty big into the Assassin’s Creed franchise, a lot of multi-player online games, definitely big into GTA and he did have a spell where he was really into Call of Duty, though that was thankfully very short-lived. He doesn’t have a lot of people who follow his channel or watch his streams, but he really does put a lot of work into his channel and his streams anyway.

Chitose honestly didn’t have a lot of interest in Twitch to begin with because he doesn’t play a lot of games. However, between the other guys talking about it, and a girl he’d hooked up with having a huge thing (and talking about it quite a bit) for a Twitch streamer, he figured he’d figure out what the big deal was about it. So, he set up a Twitch channel, using the name Charisma…too bad the only video games that hold much interest for him are H-games, so that’s what he streamed, keeping up a pretty steady (and honestly, quite educational) stream of chatter on the game and everything happening in it. How was he to know that went against the terms and conditions and rules and regulations of the stupid website. His Twitch account is currently suspended.

Dewa doesn’t have a Twitch account, not even to support the other guys. He really has zero interest in Twitch, isn’t huge into video games in general, and thinks the whole thing is a little stupid.

Surprisingly, Eric actually does have a Twitch channel. He’s not great at naming things, so he let a name generator pick out his Twitch handle for him, but he does stream gameplay pretty often. His channel is almost completely dedicated to horror games. Indie or big commercial games, it doesn’t really matter to him, he’ll play any horror-based game and the real hook for his channel isn’t even so much the gameplay itself. It’s that Eric has the most fun just absolutely tearing apart these games, just insulting or making snarky and sarcastic comments about everything he can because horror movies and horror games are normally just so dumb to him, and he enjoys making fun of them.

Fujishima has a Twitch account and most of the time, it’s only used to watch streams and chat. He’s only ever done one stream himself – Stray. The amount he got really invested in that game is honestly a little scary. His Twitch handle is ‘Inugami’, for those curious.

Fushimi honestly does have a soft spot for video games. He hardly ever plays them anymore, because playing them does take him back to all the carefree happy days with Yata so he kind of has a love-hate relationship with playing them. When he does play them, he just kind of wants to lose himself in the game and enjoy his time without thinking about having to talk or explain things or entertain, so the thought of having a Twitch channel or having to stream his gameplay just is so annoying to him.

[good-beanswrites]

Eheheh! The anon who sent the ask on the Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins here! Happy to hear you like the silly thought I made up, bonus on making a small drabble on it! So happy! >w<

So I guess when Mikoto's condition is revealed during his first interrogation, everyone's like "Ooooooh that's why..." over it. And uuuuuuh, does Kotoko feel bad for bashing Mikoto back then? I think it's not scripted according to that post you made back then, but no hard feelings between them, right? And I guess Shidou wouldn't be happy that the prisoners are getting into actual fights ;;

I really did! :D Thank you so much for reaching out, I love hearing people’s thoughts and ideas!!

I'm always very committed to keeping any canon hatred accurate -- I won't sugar-coat a relationship that has been stated to be terrible. However. This is not canon, and I am employing every fix-it in my arsenal >:3 So yes, there are absolutely no hard feelings between them and after every trial they hang out and make up!!

It pains me that all the violence in Mikoto’s interrogation has to be real, but yeah, neither of them pull any punches. Of course Red doesn’t want to hurt Es, but I picture all the prisoners really driven by the desire to tell their stories. Unlike in canon, the au characters are very aware that they’re going to represent a larger social issue/group of people. So when Mikoto is instructed to really sell it, he does it for the sake of accurate experiment results for others like him – and clings to the trust that Es signed up for this. 

And Kotoko’s interference is such a core part of her character: she’s observant, she’s clever, she’s used to and skilled at breaking rules, and she’s such a protector, even to the person who’s holding her imprisoned. It felt unfair to take that away from her by making it something Milgram scripted, so her reaction had to be real and just as violent ;-;

Okay so you know when you’re playing a game with friends/family and you feel very real anger at them for their decisions/actions? Then after it ends you can cool off and acknowledge it was just a game and there’s no hard feelings at all – but you can still clearly remember what made you upset and know it was valid? That’s what I'm picturing when the prisoners write their t2 plans. Kotoko’s anger towards the guilty prisoners is genuine by the end of the first trial. She’s very hurt that Mikoto wouldn’t tell them the truth about himself, after all the secrets they’d collectively shared. She’s disgusted by the others’ actions. She’s not actually planning on beating them up, but she recognizes she kinda wants to lol. Amane does hate Shidou. Yuno is tired of everyone. 

But a few days after the first trial ends, they start interacting in a setting that isn’t immersive anymore. They’re able to relax and talk through everything with clear minds. Kotoko apologizes profusely for hurting Mikoto during the interrogation, admitting that she’s not entitled to anyone else’s secrets. Amane apologizes to Shidou. She may not be as friendly to him as he was hoping, but she tells him that she understands they live under different codes and she shouldn’t hold hatred in her heart. Yuno gets a bit of time to refresh herself while they’re debriefing and collaborating with the writing team. She’s excited to be around the others by the time filming starts up again. Anyone who has anger towards Es lets it soften, feeling bad that they’re allowed to get a fun break while Es must remain asleep.

And I think Red and Kotoko would actually get really close in the au, despite their rocky start! They have very similar ideas on protecting the people they care about and being disgusted by those who abuse their power. Koto-koto duo is real!! 😤I can’t say for sure because so much could change in t3, but I’m hoping to write the two of them bonding over being labeled “the scary violent one” and slammed with a guilty vote next time ;-; 

If anything, Blue is more upset that she attacked Red than he is himself. (“That was our interrogation, what was she even doing there?”) And like you said, Shidou doesn’t want anyone to get hurt for real, so he pleads with them to keep their violence as staged as possible, going forward. He’s also extremely upset with Milgram that they’d let Es get hurt (since he’s the one who treated them afterwards). It takes such long time to assure him it won’t happen again, and that it was a one-time twist that Es signed off on beforehand.

Although I think the violence is going to get worse during this next hiatus, the au characters will actually feel less emotional, in my mind. After doing this for so long, I'm sure it would get easier to regulate which emotions are real and which result from too much immersion -- so there will be less to apologize and make up for this time, they're already very close and happy :')