#(You smashed this quiz I'm in shock)

[radioaf]

"My my my Vox."

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised considering your my number one stalker at least you can do that right."

@voxxisms

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hello mother. 🫡 I’m back to read your Michael discourse, and the takes are very interesting.

I haven’t watched Saltburn yet (I did watch Priscilla though and Elordi did a smashing job, so I can’t wait to see him + Keoghan + Fennell fuck me up @ Saltburn) — but I would like to request a Michael fic which I will read after watching the movie.

Would you be open to writing about Michael with a more experienced/ older partner (assuming they’re all in undergrad in the movie), who is just as intelligent as he is (maybe more) . Bonus if she’s toying with him LOL. Or fucks him up (along with fucking him) I love cruel women mwah 😘

(P.S : I don’t know if you’ve watched Bendybend cucumberpatch’s Sherlock but Lara Pulver’s Irene Adler lives rent free in my mind since 2010)

You asked for this back in November, I'm so sorry it's taken so long! It's now on the WIPs list. Here's a teaser...

Improper Fraction

Pairing: Michael Gavey x f!reader Warnings: Smut.

Summary: Michael gets great satisfaction from humiliating a fellow student during the fresher's week pub quiz, only to get a nasty shock when he realises he'll be seeing lots more of her. And she's keen to get her own back.

Full fic coming soon. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

[pokesmashorpokepass]

Gen II, Complete!

That's right everyone! We successfully made it through our Kantonian friends and their variants!

As such, allow me to begin the listing of this generations...

Sultans of Smash!

(Which is just a fancy way of saying they got more "Smash" than "Pass" votes)

So with that said, let's see who made the cut! Our Smashables are (under the Read More because, even if this is a bit shorter than the last one, holy fuck we're gonna be here a while):

Similar to Gen I, we start our list with the Kanto grass starter, Meganium! Reaching a 51.3% Smash vote, I guess people do indeed like that herb.

Hold on to your hats, everyone, because we've already got someone raking in The Big Numbers! That's right, Typhlosion has really pulled out some big wins. At a 66.4% Smash rating for Kantonian Typhlosion, we can easily see people like it hot. But that pales in comparison to their Hisuian cousin, who has managed to hit an overwhelmingly high vote of 82.5% (our highest percent so far)! I don't even have an attempt at a snappy quip for that one, that's just straight impressive.

Of course, we can't forget our reptilian, water-typed friend here. Yes, Feraligatr has made it to the list with a 54.2% Smash vote!

Now don't be shocked by this next one folk, though considering their typing I'm sure that'll be hard. Ampharos, that strange mix of a sheared sheep and a lighthouse, has been voted 58.2% smashable in Standard form! But much like Typhlosion, a change in form jumps that number way up, with Mega Ampharos hitting an impressive 70.3% Smash rating! Guess that luxurious hair really does add something...

Hey look at that, further proof the Eeveelutions just have that certain something to them. That's right, it's Espeon with a solid 60.3% Smash rating! You don't need ESP to see how popular they are with that kind of number.

And of course, we can't forget that dark-typed partner of Espeon, Umbreon! With a pretty good 59.3% rating, it seems Umbreon is right there with their fellow Gen II Eeveelution in the fields of smashing. But honestly, this is as it should be, Umbreon and Espeon are one of the classic "Do Not Separate" PokePairs.

Do you like big bugs, and you cannot lie? Because according to Scizor's polls, some of y'all certainly do! With a 59.7% for Standard Form and a nice, whole 57% for Mega Scizor, it seems this Pokemon's big meaty claws are good for more than just fighting! (...Yes I'm aware what I'm referencing there is coming from a cartoon crab not a cartoon bug but uh, consider: I don't care I think it's funny anyways.)

This one's yet another strange one, Houndoom has been voted 55% smashable... As Mega Houndoom. But sadly for Standard Houndoom, they juuuust lost out at a frustratingly close 49.6% Smash rating! But, this loyal hellhound made it in some capacity, so congratulations are still in order!

Here's a kind of crass one for y'all: what do FGO's depiction of famed Japanese general Minamoto no Raikou and the Legendary Pokemon Raikou have in common? If your answer is "Both are considered smashable", then congrats, you've nailed it! (Well, you've nailed the quiz, not either of the Raikous.) Yes, The Legendary Beast Of Lighting Raikou has made the list with a 55.6% Smash rating. I suppose they've made their way into people's hearts like a bolt from the blue!

Now I'm sure y'all weren't expecting just one member of the Legendary Beast Trio to make it into the Sultans of Smash, and you'd be correct. Entei has also made it in with a fine 63.2% smash rating! The blazing passion many feel for this emperor of flames cannot be denied, it seems!

And last but certainly not least of the Legendary Beasts, like a howling gale Suicune cuts their way into the Sultans of Smash with an impressive 72.2% Smash rating (and a very ringing endorsement of being the "sexiest motherfucker on the ocean" according to one tumblr user)! The North Wind they herald may be cold, but the feelings of Suicune's fans are some of the hottest we've got, it seems.

Seems this next one destroys more than just mountainsides, because Tyranitar has been voted Smashable both in Standard form (59.2%) and in Mega Evolution (51.8%)! Shame it takes so damn long to get Tyranitar, how is anyone supposed to smash when they're so far away?!

But at any rate, capping off this listing of the Sultans of Smash, we have everyone's favorite bird... dragon... leviathan beast thing, Lugia! Ranking at a damn good 68.5%, Lugia's not just a master of the Legendary Bird Trio, but a master of Smashing it seems! ...Probably helps that the Pokemon 2000 movie has Lugia talking. Passing the Harkness Test is a lot easier when you have words!

And with that, we have concluded the Gen II Who's Who of Smashing! This brings us to a total of 43 Sultans of Smash! Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for Gen III's list!

[allisonlol]

Hiiiii!!! Can i request more yandere Nikolai hcs/scenarios please?? I absolutely adore them so much🥺🥺💞💞

a/n: oh yes ofc!! did a scenario for this one :D i love yandere prompts for nikolai bc it suits him so well!!

^went with the whole theme of reader trying to escape and getting caught since that's always my favorite

warnings: fem reader, yandere, dark content, manipulation, abuse, violence, not a healthy relationship!!

"c'mon..." you whispered as you pried at the bathroom window with the spare butter knife you'd been hiding under your bed for the past month. nikolai was away, probably off torturing some other poor souls, which gave you several hours to complete the escape plan you'd been formulating for ages.

"shit shit shit!" you started panicking as the knife slipped from your hands and clattered to the floor. why was this damn window so hard to open?? was it jammed??

crouching down to squint up at the top of the window, you saw that it had been wedged shut with a bolted-in board.

of course. nikolai would never let you get away so easily.

left with no other choice, you drew back your arm to hit the window with your elbow as hard as you could. the first time only cracked it, but the second one was successful in smashing the window open. shattered glass sprayed over the floor, and you gritted your teeth at the throbbing pain in your elbow from the hits.

but you'd been successful! holding back a smile of relief, you cleaned the window frame of broken glass to prepare to climb out.

however, you were stopped short when you heard the sound of a door opening somewhere else in the house. with your breath caught in your throat, you shakily turned around at the noise of approaching footsteps.

with thoughts racing a mile a minute, you clenched your hands into weak fists as your pulse thrashed in your ears. why was he home?? he should've been gone for hours...you'd made SURE to time it all perfectly!! did that mean everything had been for nothing? all the good behavior you'd faked so he'd trust you enough to stay home alone-

your spiral was broken by the door to the bathroom swinging open, revealing the man you despised the most. nikolai.

you couldn't help but let out a squeak of fear at the sound of the door harshly slamming into the wall. taking sharp and uneven breaths, you cowered away as your captor approached.

there was a smile on his face that you couldn't describe in any way other than evil. there was an already bloodied knife in his hand, which he spun lazily as he took slow steps forward before stopping in front of you.

"and just what do you think you're doing?" nikolai asked lightheartedly, giving you a grin. it was a rhetorical question, and you knew better than to respond.

"it's a good thing i didn't entirely trust you, and took precautionary measures just in case..." nikolai winked, gesturing over his shoulder towards the ceiling.

your heart sank as you glanced to where he was pointing to see a security camera aimed directly at you. had that always been there?? you could've sworn it hadn't.

"still, i'm rather surprised you DID try to escape. whatever has happened to my little, timid y/n?" he leaned closer to you, and there was a hidden layer of venom in his voice that made you flinch away.

"oh...looks like she's still in there." and without warning, nikolai hit you across the face so hard you went flying backwards, crashing into the wall before collapsing onto the floor. the shattered glass of the previously broken window sliced your legs and hands as you blinked, shocked and dizzy from the hit.

"it's time for a quiz!!" nikolai exclaimed, crouching down to be at your eye level. he grabbed you by the hair, drawing your face closer to his. "i want you to guess what is going to happen next."

the happy facade was gone now. nikolai was deathly serious, glaring at you with a disappointed frown. you'd only seen him like this once before, and it meant he was about to do something horrible.

he was holding your hair so tightly your scalp was stinging, and tears streamed down your face. "please..." you whispered desperately, "i'm sorry, i didn't mean it-"

hope swelled in your chest as nikolai's eyes softened at your words. maybe if you made him feel bad enough, he would stop...

"how cute." nikolai hummed, releasing your hair to stroke the side of your face. you winced as his fingers brushed over the bruise from earlier, but nuzzled into his hand knowing that would make him happy.

"too bad i don't believe that, though." your eyes widened with shock as you looked back up to meet his glare. he was still as angry as ever, merely faking the quick display of sympathy.

before you even realized what was happening, nikolai grabbed your hair again and slammed your face to the floor, holding you down. the broken glass dug into your cheek, and you whimpered in pain.

your eyes widened with trepidation as you watched him withdraw a hunting knife from his overcoat, so sharp it could easily cut through skin and muscle.

"hmm...how about a slice for each shard of glass i find on the ground? does that sound fair?"

"no! please no-" you were openly sobbing now, your tears forming a puddle on the floor and mingling with the blood beneath you. nikolai only grinned in delight at your terror, spinning the knife in his hand before holding it up to your face.

"i'll even be so gracious as to let you choose where i begin..."

[0cto0tter]

Can we get some Peso x Kwazii quotes from your High school/College AU :)

BAUAUQJS YES GLADLY!!!

I'm surprised someone remembered this AU ^^

•─────✦─────•

Kwazii running through the halls: Hey! Peso!!

Peso, who's just trying to get to his next class: Uh, yes?

Kwazii: So, you wanna hang out after school? Maybe have a study session?

Peso: Oh, uh, sure!

*bells ring*

Peso: Shoot, I have to get to class, see you after school!

Kwazii: See ya Peso!

*Peso walks away*

Kwazii: ...

Kwazii: YAAA-

Teacher from the classroom they are near: KWAZII CAT!! Get to class!

─────────────────────

Peso: *is studying for an anatomy test*

Kwazii: *is trying to study for a geography test*

Kwazii: So...

Peso: No, your bones can't bend like that Kwazii...

─────────────────────

Tweak: So, how did you do on the History quiz?

Kwazii: I think I did pretty well!

Teacher: Kwazii, could you come here for a second

Kwazii: Sure! What seems to be the problem teach?

Teacher: Why are there several drawings of penguins, cats, and otters on this paper?

Kwazii: Umm......

Tweak: Ha, gay

─────────────────────

Peso: Um... Kwazii??

Kwazii, completely blitzed out: Yes?

Peso: Can you not lay all over my textbooks?

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Ok, so you seem to be struggling in this subject right now. Is there anything distracting you?

Kwazii, staring right at Peso: No-

Barnacles: Ah... OK then....

─────────

Dashi: Peso, you're struggling in this subject a bit. Do you know if anything is distracting you?

Peso, zoning out as Kwazii walks by: Um... Ah! No-

Dashi, who is already planning on setting them up on a date: Understood... ;)

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Hey, do you think you can help me with this assignment?

Peso: Sure-

Peso: Why is it asked for my number?

Kwazii: Um, no reason... So! Number 3 is-

─────────────────────

Peso: Alright, I've almost finished my project, I just need a prop.

Kwazii, a theater kid: What prop do you need?

Peso: Pirate gear, it's for a history project

Kwazii, vibrating with excitement: My time has come-

─────────────────────

Peso: Hey, what are you drawing?

Kwazii trying to flirt: A map of your eyes, seeing that I keep getting lost in them

Peso: Aww...

Peso: *starts screaming in a flustered panic*

─────────────────────

Shellington: So... have you managed to ask them out yet?

Kwazii and Peso: *shocked*

Kwazii trying to play it off: Ummm... who?

Peso, still confused and shocked: What???

Shellington: Ah, nevermind...

─────────────────────

Peso: Kwazii, do you think you can help me with this final paper?

Kwazii: Sure! What do you need?

Peso: I'm writting about bones and joints, primarily the flexibility of them and how far that flexibility can go. I know you're pretty flexible, so do you think I can examine you a bit?

Kwazii, flustered: *verbal keyboard smash*

Kwazii: Ehem, um... Yes!

•─────✦─────•

Sorry this is so short + all over the place ^^;

I'm still trying to get back into writing scenarios and such, which clearly is taking some time-

I'll probably write more info on the Highschool/College AU later tho :)

[corancoranthemagicalman]

💜🌻💜🌻💜🌻💜

My grandpa also has great disdain for recent music... he doesn't like anything after the 50s. So I think its funny that he likes Shrek and he'll watch it any time its on tv. I'm not familiar with Top Gun's soundtrack. I'll have to give Take My Breath Away a listen!

My dad words at a university and he used to bring me and my siblings to the international dinners he'd host. Students would always as me what I was studying and eventually when people started talking to me I'd introduce myself by saying I was my dad's daughter and that I was in high school. I'm not sure if any of them were ever hitting on me bc I was, and still am, pretty oblivious to flirtations. It sucks that you had to tell guys you were in high school to get them to back off. Glad to hear they did, though.

I used to be a hufflepuff when I was in university! I re-took the quiz twice about a year ago and was shocked to get Slytherin both times but I've embraced it. Most of the qualities are very positive except for cunning and I don't think that describes me at all.

I totally get that. I had a similar experience meeting my best friend at university. We clicked really fast and even after graduating I still hang out with her once a week. (The teenage drama movie life thing sounds awful but in high school I was definitely also on the outside of my friend circle) It sure has been hard recently to maintain friendships but I have more good friends right now than at any other point in my life.

I'll take your word for it that I give off painting/crocheting vibes! And I agree with you on the winter v. summer thing. Summer is my least favorite season. Partly because of how humid it is in the summer here.

My group just finished a campaign a few months ago and I played a gnome cleric. They started a new campaign but I felt like I needed a break bc the sessions are long and intense even though I really enjoy it. What class do you play?

The sweater is a commission actually! In university I led a crochet for beginners group and there were a few people that just couldn't ever get the hang of it :(

Did I see that you weren't feeling well today? If so I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope tomorrow treats you better 💜 (also sorry this is an entire novel I haven't spoken to anyone all day so I guess you're getting it all)

-🐧🌻

This got SO LONG so bestie I am replying undercut to you. If anyone wants to see me slowly bromance 🐧🌻 anon then read away lol.

I am envisioning your grandpa dancing to Smash Mouth and it brings me great joy. Oh, man, Top Gun has an AMAZING soundtrack. Danger Zone is a classic, but Take My Breath Away is such a romantic song. Please let me know what you think!!!

Aw, that's sort of wholesome though. I'd get that from the older ladies at my church lol. "What are you studying?"/"Algebra, usually." Which was a LAUGH. And to be honest, I'm a flirty person by nature. I think flirting is fun. But to be crude for a moment (and apologies), most of their flirting would be staring at my breasts. :/ But it was SUCH HIGH HOPES when they backed off. Like YES you GO performing the bare minimum by not being attracted to children. Bravo. But really, I've never had a dude flirt with me who wouldn't back off after me shutting them down, minor or not. So I'm very fortunate in that way. But I too can be fairly oblivious? First time I got asked out, I thought he was asking me to hang out with the friend group. Then he was like "... like a date." After I had asked where did we all wanna meet up. Lmaooooo.

We do change as we grow. I've been taking some personality quizzes for school in regards to the PMAI (Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator) especially and it actually talks a lot about how at different times in your life you'll display different archetypes depending on what you're having to adapt to or overcome. So I think the same is true for Houses. What's peculiar to me about Houses is that when I was younger I was under the understanding that you were your House, right? But the older I got, I prescribe to the "your House is what you admire" type theology. So I might not embody a Hufflepuff in every action, but a Hufflepuff is what I aspire to be. I admire loyalty above all else. Loyalty and kindness. I might not always BE kind. I'm far too hot-headed to be the embodiment of a Hufflepuff, but I admire gentle souls the most. Ergo, Hufflepuff. I've always hated how Slytherins were associated with negative sounding modifiers. Cunning IS a negative word since by definition it's about achieving one's goals through deceit. But I dont understand why being quick-witted and clever couldn't have been the heavier association. I think Ravenclaw's are booksmart and Slytherin are streetsmart. Gryffindors are street tough, while Hufflepuff are ready to roll. Does that make sense? I think the whole cunning/silver-tongued thing was the stupidest idea, because then you are saying narratively that Slytherin IS the evil House. Why have the House at all? On a meta level, Harry begging not to be considered part of the Dark Side despite the actual Voldemort growing inside of him is symbolic in his rejection of Slytherin, but when you go on to merchandise and tell children you are a Slytherin; you're telling children they're evil. They're gonna be evil. And not in "this is the House for brats" way. In the "you either die a villain or live long enough to run away." insane. My point is they're OUR Houses now and I'm saying I think you're clever and quick-witted, and that's pretty Slytherin to me.

I'm very blessed to have her and I'm glad other people get to experience that too. I think everyone is deserving of deep connections like that. And I'm glad to hear you taking time for yourself away from dnd. Our sessions can be exhausting too, but half of my party is my literal blood family and the other half is adopted practically so we usually end up hanging out for half of the session. Makes it way less intense. That sounds like it was a fun character!! I haven't gotten the pleasure to play clerics all that much. Right now I'm in three different campaigns that alternate each week. In one I'm a druid, and that's our 5th edition campaign. I'm playing the new Wildfire from Tasha's and I haven't gotten to flex out the Wildfire Spirit yet, I am having fun. I've got a wolf who is using the sidekick mechanic in that game and he's so much fun to play too. In the other two games, those are 4th editions (the edition I grew up on and learned how to play) and in those I am a ranger and a class known as a Warden. Sort of a fighter/druid class. And the druid and the ranger are both shifters, and the warden is my half-orc. I'm always happy to talk dnd lol. Which cleric were you? Trickster Domain?

Also EWWW HUMIDITY I HATE IT. :(((

Dude, I WISH I could crochet. My fingers are so big tho, bestie. Makes it hard to do anything dexterous.

I'm already feeling much better :)) unfortunately not in time not to bomb half of my project. Whoops. But I'm blaming Glass Shark. He got me sick.

Dont apologize for the novel!! As you can see I'm capable of replying with a novel in turn lol. I hope you had a wonderful day today and that this next week treats you well!! Thank you for the well wishing 💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕