#(also I'm trying to stop myself stressing over art but art IS HOW I COPE WITH STRESS)

[kaleidoru]

she can generate additional halos and turn them into chakrams

[werywrenniethoughts]

Help Wanted 2: Lets Talk About Sun (Spoilers for Help Wanted 2!)

Okay,

I've had some time to digest Help Wanted 2. What a freaking roller coaster. I'm assuming you all have played/watched/seen Help Wanted 2, so be advised if you haven't seen everything we have access to so far, I'll be bringing it up.

One thing I'll say upfront is its nice to know Sun and Moon ARE older like I theorized. They're tied to the Fall Festival which took place in 1970 per one of the prize collector posters and the fact they deal with the carousel. I think Steel Wool also tried to point out and confirm Moon is patient zero for....I guess I should say Vanny's influence in the PizzaPlex. He's definitely the favorite to be pitted against us. I'm STILL losing my mind over the Princess Quest Ending.

So, the DCA fandom has been all across the board, ranging from "I love sassy Sun" to "Sun is SO mean. This ruins my headcannon." I don't think it really does. At least, it doesn't have to.

Our first encounter with Sun in front of us is Arts and Crafts. This minigame is located in the world we eventually learn is AR. We also are clearly a new FazBear hire. Sun is definitely sassy, and let's face it, VERY critical of what he defines as a mistake. BUT the flip side of that coin is he is still nice when you do the art correctly. He calls you friend, he wants to help you. If the player eats the crafts, he loses his mind. It's because he's worrying for the player due to the effects eating the crafts will have on them, ie: "That is how you get ulcers!". (By far, MY FAVORITE line of Sun's btw. Kellen stated that line and the indigestion line were both improved btw- genius.) He still doesn't want Moon to get you, he doesn't want to get in trouble. The one threat is after you've been hitting him several times and you've outright pissed him off. (I personally, think the "I should turn off the lights myself" was a drama king being a drama king.) Then we take the mask off. We see everything destroyed and Sun acts like the Sun we've always known. "I'm perfectly fine where I am. It's better this way. It's safer this way." "Keep the generator on. Without it I won't be able to help you." He's the same as he's always been. We've just seen a new layer.

What we ultimately have to come to terms with, is that Sun is a control freak and a perfectionist. He thinks he "has" to be. He doesn't want you to move from your craft table so he can watch you like a hawk. Do the job you are assigned. Get in, get out. Do the art HIS way, and follow HIS rules. If you don't, bad things can happen. Bad things HAVE happened. Another explanation could also be that maybe he isn't as free of the glitch trap virus as we thought? He can be sassy, he can be brutally honest, he can be concerned for us, for children, and his own darkness can rear its head, all at the same time.

Steel Wool could also be trying to slam into our faces that Sun is incomplete. He is one-half of a whole. He has good intentions, he means well at his core, but he cannot stop, regroup, and act rather than react. He gets stressed, and can't cope and adjust. Instead, he demands control back when he feels like he's about to lose it. Moon is calm, calculating, and logical. It's why they need to be whole and why Sun is so grateful to Cassie when she fixes them to become Eclipse. As Eclipse, they both find the parts of themselves they've so desperately needed.

[rabble-dabble]

hi. i know it's been a while and i'm sorry for that.

i guess if you'd just like to know what's going on click the readmore?

if you don't wanna read that though, tldr is that i'm starting to draw hs characters for art practice, and that i'm doing this art "series" (i guess?) for myself to improve. oh, and that life is hard sometimes.

so this isn't really easy to say, and especially not to the internet with a buncha strangers following me (haha) but truthfully, i've been having a hard time both with art and with life lately.

i feel like i'm not keeping up with consistency or the expectations i set for myself with art both on this blog and off. i keep finding myself unsatisfied, disgusted, or just disappointed with how my art turns out, or the ending piece. i feel like i used to know where my art was going, and now i've somehow lost sight. i know the individual things i need improvement on (backgrounds, objects, animals, feet anatomy, colour techniques, body shapes, etc etc etc) but it all just feels like so much and if i get practice on one thing, i stop drawing for a while and i just lose the practice i learned.

so i kinda came up with a solution. draw all the hs characters again - interesting, right? (/s). but i'm not gonna do this for the blog (so, sorry followers). i'm gonna do it for me. no expectations, i don't have a set time limit so no stressing myself, and i just draw the characters as i'd like, trying to improve. this is also to just help myself with wanting to draw again - i draw IRL almost everyday, but nothing that i want or that's...well, artistic/creative. i want to create, like it's eating underneath me in my soul, but i can't find myself to do anything more than pencil sketches.

that kinda brings me to my other problem lately: real life. haha.

if you've been following me long enough, you know i don't really post about my IRL problems here, or especially not to this extent. yeah, i've had my one or two vent posts, but i try to keep it off here because a part of me knows its no benefit to have that kind of depressing, low-self esteem stuff on an art blog that i reblog minecraft and john/kat to.

but truthfully, i don't just wanna pretend it's sunshine and rainbows on here. i'm so tired, and i'm stressed, and i've been through the emotional woodchipper lately that i can barely keep my head on straight. yes, i'm trying to get help for all this (i have a doctors appointment soon, and i'm gonna try and get all my diagnosis in order and get therapy, etc) but i'm not coping well with everything that's been happening to me lately, and i can't keep trucking on the same way i have been like i'm more emotionally stable than i actually am.

i'm sorry if i've been acting more bitter, distant, or just different lately. i'm just exhausted, mentally, physically, and emotionally, and i'm starting to run out of energy to just function in my day-to-day. i actually cried at work the other day (for the first time!) for feeling so overwhelmed with everything i had to do (both in my job and outside of it, fuck retail btw it sucks). i have small support in friends and family, but they're not the type of support i genuinely need to function and keep myself healthy. and i can't rely on them in ways that aren't their responsibility, or that i truly need help with.

i'm not trying to air out ALL my dirty laundry here (hehehe) but i just felt like it was better to say i'm struggling emotionally then to just pretend i wasn't struggling at all. if i was a healthier person i probably wouldn't be venting here in the first place, but then again i probably wouldn't have all these problems hanging over me either, lol.

just...have patience with me, please. i just want life to be a little kind, or at least kind enough to get me to my first therapy appointment.

[awkward-octopus-art]

I’ll never write this perfectly. But the concept of perfection is the enemy, so by letting it go, I allow myself the opportunity to actually do things with my life (I also allow myself to never shut up and to continue talking about it-yay😂)

Big cheesy waffle warning: I will be info dumping my thoughts surrounding the doodle above. Many bad metaphors to avoid blunt vulnerability ahead.

A few years ago, my relationship with art changed drastically. It’s hard to describe, but as I worked it seemed like something in my brain was being mended. Indulging different parts of my creativity was healing. It didn’t solve my problems but this new little excitement was born. There was no need for a fire to be reignited because the embers were dazzling and that was enough to ground me in some sort of sanity.

But the thing that didn’t change were the unhealthy coping mechanisms🙃 (Although, I am grateful that they became more apparent because then I could stop being in denial about them.) As it turns out, Art was just another way to ride the highs and lows of my self-esteem👍my sense of self obsessively clung to my artwork and the reaction I got from it. When this aspect of life was amplified, the consequences seemed really great but then the highs just weren’t worth the lows anymore. It took me a bit to realize that the highs and lows were related and that this wasn’t exactly new.

Looking back I can see that Art was the foundation I built a lot of my identity and self worth from. Whenever my identity of being an artist was compromised, I went into panic mode as if my entire existence was collapsing. In order to combat this and start building again, I was competing with the idea that every single thing I made had to entirely represent me. The hypothetical scenario was that if one person only saw one piece of artwork from me, it had to be the best thing I’ve made because their entire perception of my existence depended on the one thing they saw. This limiting mindset is so exhausting and extremely counter-productive because it just causes more stress and unneeded crises. 10/10 do not recommend, especially since it prevents you from even starting projects. (Maybe God knew what He was doing, because if I was ever not haunted by the idea of perfection, I would probably be too powerful.)

Even though I am grateful for how far I've come with skill and the ability to make the things I've always wanted to make, I do miss how I used to draw and have fun doing it when I was a lot younger. I would just power-through paper like the embodiment of “non-stop” from hamilton (drawing pixar characters is the same as writing the majority of the federalist papers if you didn’t know.) I never spent more than one sitting on a drawing and I didn’t agonize over every little detail. (no thoughts, head empty, every-single-piece-of-paper-in-sight? full.) drawing was like an instinct, and I had just so much fun? (I still do have fun making things, there’s just more angst now lol) it was beautifully simple really, and totally, innocently selfish. Selfish in the way that breathing is. Even though it’s the thing that allows you to connect to the world and other people benefit from you breathing, you are your lungs’ number one priority.

And Art is still that way for me-I am my number one priority. Yes, I love communities, and making things for others (and commissions are VERY cool 😉) but if I didn’t create, regardless of the benefits the world gives me, I just couldn’t be a human being. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but basically, Art is ultimate me time 😂

So the anxiety sucks, and I wondered if over-compensating in the opposite direction would help. I did not dwell on that idea for very long because severing the ties between Art and my entire identity didn’t make much sense? Especially when I JUST compared it to breathing 😂 But Art isn’t the bad guy, it’s the reaction to it  that needs to change.

So this is the answer I came up with for now: I want to speak through my artwork, not let my art speak for me. My art doesn’t “make up” for my existence and imperfections. I don’t deserve to let myself hide behind a literal crafted distraction. I’m throwing away this shield that enables the lie that I am disappointing and boring (It really had the audacity, I know 😤)

Anyways, the more I think about it, the more it seems painfully obvious, bUt iTs EaSiEr sAiD tHaN dOnE. That’s why I’m posting this here. It’s a reminder to focus on what I'm trying to say-not what I'm trying to hide. If I am not actively steering my brain into this mindset, I will I fall into the downward spirals that I've maintained over the years. So this drawing represents all that and more. Hopefully posting this will help when my brain starts to lie again. This is a struggle I am enthusiastic to deal with, because I refuse to hide behind something I should and do thoroughly enjoy.

My brain does not plan to ever stop overthinking, so I might as well enjoy writing and drawing about it again and again (and that’s a threat lol)

I’ve written this thing way too many times, I hope it is decipherable and relatable in some way. I think being a bit vulnerable is a good thing, and I hope future me is severely embarrassed that I posted this. If you took the time to read all this, or any of this, I really appreciate it.

[juupajaa]

Hullo! So I've already been quarantined for a week and I'm really struggling not getting into old bad eating habits. Technically I've already relapsed, B/P. I used to cope by leaving the house a lot, hanging out with people in the park and so. But now I'm stuck in a tiny apartment with other 3 people and it's becoming unbearable. Do you know how to cope when you can't leave a tiny space? Thanks a lot, Hope you're doing okay Xoxo

Hei hei ✌ Not gonna lie, this is High Season for relapses so don't feel bad for it. I mean we're all stressed out and anxious, our lives are changing, there's a lot of uncertainty and we need ways to cope with all this crap that's coming from every direction. But the same stuff applies now as it would any other time: relapses happen, but they don't have to be long-lived.

Sadly, going back to your disorder and that horrible coping mechanism isn't going to solve a thing. Even if it feels like it would be easier to just get that obsession going again so you'd have no time to think about anything else, you know very well that it won't make you feel any better.

I'm trying to quit smoking right now and it's pretty brutal, but also it reminds me a lot of the struggle to stop doing disordered behaviours. You just have to bang your head against the wall and forcibly and aggressively distract yourself until the worst passes.

Finding stuff to do is important not only in keeping you form going to disordered behaviours, but also to keep you from getting brutal cabin fever.

A lot of good quarantine tips videos and posts have already been made so I recommend looking those up to get more ideas on what to do, but here's stuff that I'm doing to keep myself busy and my head cool, being stuck indoors:

Cleaning/organizing. Dude, you have all the time in the world now. Sort out your closet, clean your desk, rearrange your room, do a deep cleaning, this is the time

Baking. Making things from scratch is an excellent choise, because A) It takes up a lot of time B) You need to go to the store less C) Baking will make you feel better bc you accomplished something and D) yummmmy

Yard work/gardening, if you have a yard/balcony/house plants etc. I have a big ass yard full of snow and shoveling it is a job that will never be over. I also have a lot of house plants and keeping up with them is good for the soul

Art/craft projects. The bigger the better, the more the better. I've been drawing, making music, making crafts, writing, just keep those hands and mind busy so you don't freak out by the boredom.

Games/shows/docs/movies etc. I've been playing sims with my friend for like 5 days straight and it's been so good. The whole day just whooses by so fast. Now's also the perfect time to go through your Netflix list and clear it once and for all.

Honestly I wouldn't be opposed to doing some livestreams with you guys or something like that. It can get really lonely and boring and maybe some chats would help??

Edit: Also, taking "me time" breaks is 100% ok and you should do it. Find your own corner and sit in it for as long as you have to. You can dven tell the other to not bother you, tell them you'll take a nap. If you have a room of your own, close the door and put your headphones on, close your eyes and listen through your favourite album or something. Giving others their personal space is so important, especially now.

[mental-health-advice]

Is it possible for stress to trigger social anxiety? I've always been shy and had a very low self esteem but I naturally overcame it when I was 15. After that, I kinda grew out of my social anxiety. Now I'm almost 21, third year of college (the reason I'm always stressed) and all my fears of being judged, calling strangers on the phone (such a food delivery, a particular store) or answering messages from almost everyone is back and stronger than ever. I'm afraid of those things I'm feeling ...

Hey love,

Thanks for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I am sorry that you are going through such a stressful time right now and it is having a negative impact on your mental health. I hope I’ll be able to share some techniques and reassurances to start making things a little easier for you again. 

In short, yes, stress is definitely a big trigger for mental health issues such as anxiety. Around two years ago I was in the same position as you going into my 2nd year at University and suddenly the increased pressure and stress causes a major relapse in my mental health. But hopefully I can use this to show you and others that it is possible to overcome and you can succeed with anything you desire! We need to look at ways in which we could begin to reduce that stress. This may involve something like creating a daily schedule for the important tasks that you need to complete. So this could involve a revision schedule, or a homework timetable? If you start of small with maybe just half an hour of work a day, then gradually build it up; it’s important to keep small and manageable goals! But please remember that it is really important to leave time, at least an hour or two a day, for self care. For example, I take around 2 hours before I go to bed and fill that time with things I enjoy like creating art and music, and I also make sure to spend time caring for my hair and skin etc. Self care also involves things like making sure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. If you are struggling with stress right now, it may also help you to begin practising some mindfulness - here is our page about it!

To begin with, I’m going to link you to our page about social anxiety here; this has a lot of information about social anxiety and some of the diagnostic criteria.

Have you considered seeing a professional about this, lovely? If not, I think it would be a really good idea for you to reach out to your doctor or a therapist for support. They will be able to diagnose you if applicable, begin treatment, and hopefully share some great coping mechanisms with you. Here is our page about getting help if that is something that you want to consider; if this page leaves you with any questions about seeking treatment, then please drop us another message and one of the other admins or I will be more than willing to help you out!

It is important to note that when dealing with any type of mental illness, including social anxiety, there will be times during recovery when you struggle more again and feel as though you have gone back to square one - that is completely normal! But just because you may be having a bad day or period of time, it doesn’t mean that the progress you previously made has gone; now you know that you can do those great things and it gives you something to keep striving towards. You have made such good progress, love, and you can get there again!

To challenge negative thoughts, I found it really useful to stop, acknowledge my thought, and then ask myself whether I have any evidence to support that thought. For example, if I find myself thinking ‘he thinks i’m stupid’, I stop and ask myself ‘Are you just mind-reading? What evidence do you have to say that he thinks you’re stupid?’ Normally, you will find that you don’t have any evidence to support that thought, and challenging it can help you to dismiss and move over the thought.  I suggest you have a look at our anxiety page series, specifically the self-help and calming down pages. 

Grounding techniques are personally my go to method for dealing with my anxiety. Grounding techniques help you to reconnect with reality and keep your mind from wandering off in the negative thoughts. Here is a link to our page about different methods. Personally, I recommend something physical like running your hands under icy water. You could also try something like playing a categories game with yourself; so, try to think of ‘’breeds of dogs’’, ‘’states of the USA’’, or ‘’billboard charts’’ etc. It may take you a little while to find the most effective grounding techniques for you, but hopefully the ideas on our page will be of some use to you

Something I want you to try, if you feel able to, is to start looking at the patterns in your social anxiety. So think back to some of the times when you have experienced social anxiety, and start to break it down into:

Your thoughts before a social event (e.g. everyone will think i’m stupid)

The physical symptoms you experience (e.g. panic attack)

The negative view you have of yourself (e.g. i look really ugly today)

Avoidance behaviours you use (e.g. playing on my phone)

Your thoughts after a social event (e.g. everyone hates me and won’t want to spend time with me again)

It may also be really good to keep a diary for whenever you feel anxious in the future and note down how each attack fits into the above categories. This can be really useful as it helps you to understand what is behind the anxiety and it means you can start tackling it in smaller sections. Recognising and tackling it in smaller sections can help you to feel less overwhelmed and lost in the negatives!

I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely, Please remember that you are welcome to get back in touch with us whenever you want to. Please take care!

Rhiann xo