#(by using her and pimping her out but never actually having sex with her)

[angellic-critique]

Hey, I want to ask something: why Is using a drag queen's persona to create a female character a bad thing?/genq

The implication of cissification/forced gender norms is what I take issue with.

You're okay anon. I am going to clarify that this is a queer person critiquing upon a poorly mishandled drag persona of an animated Italian mobster spider that is named after cocaine. I am aware of the extremities here but I cannot stress enough how harmful viv's surface level writing for only her character designs is genuinely harmful and hurtful to me, as a queer person.

I see the themes she attempted to write but having angel dust only centered purely around sex, sexual advantages from the porn industry [without substance[, the pimp abuse and nearly racist depictions of Italians [Gold tooth mobster who only likes guns, violence, sex, drugs, money, alcohol etc,]-

I could go on and on and on as to why Angel Dust despite seeming to come from some level of apathy to drag kings/queens is nothing but surface level tripe. I do not care if the show releases and all it is focused upon is Valentino's abuse and misdeeds towards angel, IS THERE ANYTHING TO THIS CHARACTER BESIDES BEING ABUSED.

there is a difference of wanting to design a drag persona and having the gender be ambiguous but it is an entirely different level of tripe bullshittery to have a character that is allegedly surrounded around drag performing and openly being himself, is supposedly forced under a guise of abuse to undergo the said drag performing...????

Having a AMAB crossdressing to be a drag persona but then take that empowerment away from him, as if he was never allowed to be feminine in the first place. Angel Dust screams tryhard sexy appeal. I do not understand his, alastor, or Stolas for that matters' 'sex' appeal if they are not written well nor with any care for that regard about the communities they are representing.

Viv just wants to write the themes of addiction, gay trauma and industry abuse? That's perfectly fine as long as there is nuance and reasoning and justification for those characters turning to those types of aliments for aid. What do I meaaan????

Alastor has no asexual/aromantic representation, if anything the fandom has proven that it is APHOBIC !!!

Stolas takes pills and it never going to be brought up until Octavia finds out and then SHE is casted to be the villain over calling out the fact that her dad is a POS that only cares about Blitzo! GENUINELY WHAT?

Blitz is an alcoholic stalker SEXUAL HARRASSER that has NO REPRECUSSIONS WHATSOVER FOR SAID DRINKING, IF ANYTHING THE SERIES PRAISES HIM TO BE ONE!!!!

Husk is also a surface level alcoholic that doesn't get called into question! I'm sorry I'm not talking about the main point you asked anon but genuinely please look at the larger scope over why viv just depicts abuse and substance use as 'haha comically funny' while attempting to 'humanize' her Demons. It seems that the show is just pro-abuse and of they genuinely actually have Valentino try to be threatening or a well written pimp ill laugh and delete my blogs honestly since I have no hope from script leaks revolving around him comparing guns to cocks. Viv really loves writing about industry abuse with no nuance here.

I did not bring up Molly whatsoever because unlike Viv I actually love the drag performer community and empowering culture they represent. It's the same reason I believe that Brandon Rodgers is anti-drag despite constantly crossdressing/displaying it within his videos. It's harmful because his drag didn't NEED to be a separate person angel dust should BE the DRAG PERFORMING NAME.

HELLUVA BOSS HAS PROVEN THAT ALL VIV CARES ABOUT IS EXCUSING AND MARKETTING ABUSERS RATHER THEN CALLING INTO QUESTION WHY ABUSE IS HAPPENING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[goodlittlecuntboy]

I've always loved fucking desperate little sluts like you. You're so damn easy to please and submissive, you'll let us do anything to you, won't you? Yes, I said us. My gf and I are both bi and whatever I get, she gets too.

I'd fuck your ass deep and fast while she rides your face. She may even take pity on you and suck your cute little boy clit for you. Or maybe she'll ride your pussy with her strapon while I'm under you thrusting up into your tight ass. I'd be choking you out hard while she sucks your nipples.

We'd just hotbox the room and rape your body until we're all too high to think straight. My girl would pull her strapon out and take a turn with your ass while I fuck your throat, grabbing onto your hair and forcing you down my length to take it all while she spanks you and scratches at your back.

My girl is a squirter, so when we're finished with you, we'll both stand above you and cum all over your face and chest. Barely able to breathe, shaking, sore, stoned and cockdrunk as fuck, we'll leave you in a mess like the rape meat you are. Maybe we won't lock your room door on the way out so anyone can see how easy it is to have you begging for more. Turning you into the street's cumdump whore seems like it'd be too damn easy. Just tie you to the bed and let anyone who wants a piece of you have you all to themselves until they cum. It wouldn't take long until it's all you know how to do and all you want to do.

We'd lock you up in our apartment and whore you out to anyone willing to pay what you're worth, and we'll even use you to film porn so you're always being fucking useful to us, even when we're not the ones fucking you. Everything about your sad new life is sex. The rape becomes so normal to you that you stop recognising it as rape at all. You're just a set of holes to be stuffed and cum in.

We'll have you walk around naked for easy free use. Whenever we want some stress relief we can just call for you to service us like the slave you're so good at being. I could bend you over any surface in our place and you'd thank me. My girl could force you to the ground and ride your face, and after you've woken back up from being passed out from lack of air, you'd happily ask her if she wants more.

We'd tattoo our initials onto you so we'd own you. Every time you look in the mirror, there it is, right above your collarbone. You'd be collard and leashed at all times when walking freely, and have your arms locked behind your back whenever we pimp you out. Blindfolded when we want to move you, so you never know where you're about to be fucked within an inch of your life. Leaking cum from an asshole that can barely close anymore and a pussy so tender and overestimated, that even wearing panties causes an intense mix of pleasure and pain.

You belong on your knees with cocks and pussies all around you, using you as the worthless toy you are.

fuck i've been staring at this for so long... rereading everytime i log on

i think i'd actually die if this happened to me. it would have been a life wel lived, being used and stuffed with cum and ejejdb like yeah fuck my throat like im a fleshlight?? that's what i'm here for

anyway i think this is a great first date idea also

[mommy-daddy-issues-poll]

Dennis and Dee Reynolds (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) Propaganda

Both

"Dennis and Dee were raised by their mom, Barbara, who constantly insulted and criticized them, and Frank, who did things like buy all the toys they wanted for himself when they were growing up to ""teach them a lesson"". They were mostly taken care of by nannies, but Frank would always sexually harass them until they left, so none of them stayed around long either. Both parents pitted the twins against each other their entire lives so they couldn't even rely on each other against them. Dennis and Dee go no contact with Frank once they reach adulthood, but Frank buys the bar they own out from under them and appoints himself their new boss, forcing his way back into their lives where he continues to abuse them including pimping them out to make money, mocking them, and setting it up so they rely on his money for everything so he can always control them. It's later revealed (in season 2 so back in 2006 lol) that Barbara cheated on Frank and the twins are actually the biological children of a man named Bruce. When they meet him, hoping to finally have a good parent, he rejects them and schemes against them too. So they have three parents and their relationship with all of them his fucked up. This has led to the twins having fucked up lives. They can't form emotional connections with anyone, always keep everyone at arms length, abuse other people to try and make up for the way their parents treated them, drink, smoke crack, and generally make their own lives miserable and everyone else's lives miserable. I could talk about it forever there are 16 seasons of content "

Dennis

"Absolute disaster. Biological father completely unaware of his existence, when they reconnected thirty years on, he decided after like a week that he wanted nothing to do with Dennis, and then a year later decided to screw him out of his dead mom's house to ""teach him a lesson"". The guy he called his father growing up was absent throughout due to him running a sweat shop (may or may not have been busy cannibalizing people) but when he WAS home for Christmas he would buy everything Dennis (and his twin sister Dee) wanted for himself while gifting them a bunch of empty boxes. He employed Dennis after he finished college without telling him what his job was, and when Dennis asked him to show him what he did at work he had sex with a prostitute in front of him. Dennis stayed through the entire thing and then was fired for ""whining"". At 45 years old, his father tells him that the ""sickness and anger inside of [him] is diabolical"" as a form of praise, and Dennis replies he has ""the years of neglect and abuse"" to thank for that, and then kisses him on the top of his head, asking ""was that okay to do?"" Dennis finds out he has a son and leaves to raise him, saying, ""I don't want my kid to grow up like I did, with some asshole dad who was never even around."" He's now pushing fifty and still completely reliant on his not-father, who pays for his phone plan, rent, constantly bails him out monetarily, yet will only acknowledge Dennis as his son when he's ditched by his other adoptive son and wants to make him jealous. As for mommy issues, his mother put him on a pedestal to such an extent that he can literally never live up to the crazy expectations she had for him, doomed to feel inadequate for the rest of his life because she dies due to her own vanity after a ""botched neck lift"", an insecurity she passed down to him. She pitted Dennis and his twin sister against each other to the point where it completely destroyed their relationship and even into adulthood and after her death he still continues to berate his sister as she used to do as if reflexively seeking her approval and building himself up in comparison to her. When they are in a life or death situation, he tells her he loves her and she replies ""whatever"". He's tricked into believing (by his dad) that their mom faked her death and ends up digging up her grave only to find that she IS dead, which sends him into a fit of sobbing hysterics as he screams ""my mommy's a skeleton"". He has both a mommy and a daddy kink (as in. HE is both mommy and daddy). He developed an entire system on how to seduce men (called the SINNED system) by acting like his mother. He describes the process of how his mother made him dependent on her for everything – this is her vehicle for control over him – inflated his ego – put him on a pedestal – made him feel powerful and powerless – would give him validation but not enough. and then she becomes the one person whose validation he's been seeking his entire life, and in the end, this becomes the one thing he can never get."

Dee

"- her dad decided he didn't want to be her dad anymore the second he found out her and her brother weren't his biological kids - her mother's will calls her ""a mistake"" (she's a twin) - write and performed a song about how mothers suck - her dad tricked her and her brother into digging up their dead mother - her dad bought her and her brother the presents they wanted the most every Christmas then kept them for himself - she used to enter pageants to spite her mother because she told her she was too ugly for them - when she met her bio dad he was so ashamed with how her and her brother turned out he cut them off - fake married her dad to try and scam her bio dad out of money - her dad set fire to her multiple times in one episode "

[darklinaforever]

https://www.tumblr.com/darklinaforever/746898401261699072/alicent-forcing-oneself-to-accomplish-her-sexual?source=share

making a joke about rape and then saying "lol it's just a joke don't take it seriously" doesn't make it better. you're actually the worst.

the amount of misogynistic posts on your blog, the disturbing hatred towards alicent to the point of you making rape jokes about her.... maybe it's time to get off the internet? get some fresh air?

you sound like a misogynistic bigot.

Um I have already made several posts explaining why Alicent was not raped.

Already in the book, it doesn't exist.

And in the show, I'm not sure that we can talk about rape either, as I have already explained and others have also done it before and after me :

So I will not repeat myself on the subject.

Although I'm sure you'll never read my explanations on the subject, because all you're probably interested in is appearing morally superior.

And then, for an Alicent stan to come and accuse me of being a misogynist, it's rather very ironic. I would like to know how what I say in my posts (apart from the joke I made and which you criticize me for) is misogynistic. 😂

Once again, I allowed myself this, because most of Alicent's fans themselves make horrible comments, most of them extremely misogynistic.

An eye for an eye as they say.

@nrilliree @lizzie-queenofmeigas @kittenfangirl20

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Edward Cullen Master Post

Edward Gets Weird About Everything

Edward Cullen’s Transformation Back into Humanity: A Novel by Vladimir Nabokov

Edward is Living His Best Romantic Tragedy Life and He Loves It

To Stare at Edward is to Stare in the Face of Madness

Edward Didn’t Want Alice Look After Bella in New Moon at All

Edward Wants His Human Girlfriend Cake and To Eat it Too

Edward’s Double Think, Fighting Prowess, and Issues With Bella’s Transformation

More on Edward and His Insecurity

What Would Edward Do if Bella Had Hobbies? (Hyperanalyze Them)

What if Edward Had Lived Out His Human Life?

Edward and Panic Changing Bella

Edward’s Romanticization of Suicide and Planned Suicide

Can Edward Care About People Beyond What He Projects onto Them?

Edward Would Panic if Bella Got the Flu (He Did Canonically)

What’s Up with Edward’s Parents Being Such Non-Entities to Him?

Would Edward Get Weird if Carlisle Had Had Kids?

If Carlisle Hadn’t Turned Edward, Would He Be Able to Get Him on the Diet?

Yes, Edward Canonically Asked His Entire Male Family: How to Sex

Edward, Even More Disturbing than Usual

Edward Cullen and That Time He Planned to Pimp Out His Wife

Edward’s Plan Was Always to Leave Bella and Kill Himself Upon Her Death

Edward Would Not Have Been Interested in Bella Had She Not Been His Singer

Edward Cullen and Patrick Bateman

Could Edward Murder Alice If She Got In His Way? (Yes but She Never Would)

Edward Will Never Confess His Innermost Thoughts to Anyone (Deep Down, He Knows There’s Something Off About Him)

Could Edward Get Away With Gaslighting a Victim Under His Own Roof?

Edward and the Moment He Empathized with a Pedophile in Canon

What Did Edward Say to Rosalie After She’d Turned that Even He Admitted Was Deplorable?

When Would Edward Kill Bella but Not Eat Her?

Would Edward Kill Someone Who Had a Gift to Not Require Blood?

Edward Has Mother and Father Issues

The Time Edward Methodically Planned Bella’s Murder

Why is Edward on Board with the Imprinting?

How Would Edward Run Mike Newton Out of Town if He Decided to Do so?

What Would Edward Do if Someone Knew the Secret?

A Meta on Edward and Reincarnation or Anon Writes a Meta

Edward Would Absolutely Use and Abuse Compulsion All the Time if He Had it, Especially on Bella

Yes, Edward Really Was Going to Kill Himself After Bella Died

Edward, Super Genius Mastermind

Edward Cullen Thinks He Belongs in House of Cards, in Truth He’s an Idiot Who Says Outrageous Things

Edward the Serial Killer Would Bore L

Edward and Casinos (Or Edward Would Think He’s Going to Be Amazing but Would Be Caught Very Easily and Thrown Out)

On the Physical Aspects of Edward Cullen

Edward’s Not Actually the Fastest

Edward Probably Did Take Weeks to Die

Gentlemen Don’t Jog

Yes, Edward Could Murder a Newborn Bella

Edward and His Red Hair

Anon Beautifully Makes Fun of Edward’s Need for Speed

Would Snape Be Safe from Edward’s Gift? (No)

Were Edward’s Eyes Not Red After Sucking the Poison Out?!

Edward Without His Gift is Still Weird

Why is Edward So Depressed? (Sometimes, People Are Depressed)

Would a Sane Edward Admit He’s Gay?

Yes, Edward Really Does Have That Good of Control

If Edward Has the Reflexes of a Panther, How Can He Accidentally Crash a Car?

Could Edward Have Saved Bella from a Plane Crash? (No)

Nuances of Edward’s Gift

Can Edward Read Your Mind Through Aro?

Edward is Probably Not Circumcised

More on Edward’s Hair Color

Edward’s Thoughts on Life and the Universe

Edward Cullen’s Thoughts on the Family

In the Trolley Problem, Between Renesmee and Bella, Edward Chooses Renesmee

In the Trolley Problem, Between Carlisle and Bella, Who Does Edward Choose?

Why Does Edward Hate Jasper?

Would Edward Hate Jasper Even More if Jasper Had Good Control? (Probably Not)

Edward and Reddit

Would Edward Have Still Been Interested in an Older Bella? (No, He Eats Her)

Edward’s Gift and Language and Follow Up

What if Edward Suspected a Scarlet Woman Was After Carlisle?

Edward If Jessica Stanley Suspecting Him of Vampirism Caught Him By Surprise

Would Light Yagami and Edward Cullen Get Along?

Would Wizard Trotsky (From Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus) and Edward Cullen Get Along?

Edward and Batman

How Would Edward See Tom Riddle?

Why Are Edward and Seth Friends?

Edward’s Thoughts on Halloween

Edward Really Doesn’t Care About His Human Parents

Yes, Edward Really Did Want to Marry Bella

Would Edward Be Happier If He Didn’t Have His Gift?

Would Edward Even Care About Bella Had She Been Raised in Forks by Charlie?

Was Edward Inspired by the Volturi Wives When He Kidnapped Bella in Eclipse?

What if You Mentally Shriek at Random Intervals in Edward’s Vicinity?

Edward and How Bella Really Could Look Like Almost Anything

How Would Edward Feel About Anti-Vaxxers?

Edward’s Fragile Ego and How He’ll Never Admit Bella Might Be More Powerful than He is

What Did Edward Mean About Bella’s Blood Not Bothering Him in Eclipse?

If Edward Lived in a World with Daemons, Would He Still Insist He Has No Soul? (Yes)

What Would Make Edward Truly Happy?

Does Edward Support Divorce?

Would Edward Ever be Chill About Bella Staying in Volterra?

Why Do I Think Edward Would Mercy-Kill Bella?

How Would Edward React to Someone Else Whose Mind He Can’t Read?

How Would Edward Feel if Renesmee Had Inherited His Gift?

Why Edward Might Refer to Rosalie as a Shrew

Could Edward Ever Lose Faith in Carlisle? What Would it Take?

Will Edward Resent Renesmee?

Edward Didn’t Seem to Care About the Legalities of Marriage That Much

Does Edward Resent Alice for Leaving in Breaking Dawn?

Would Edward Have Liked Rosalie if He Couldn’t Hear Her Thoughts? (No, He Dislikes the Idea of Her)

Would Edward Still Be an Angst Ridden Mess if He Was a More Traditional Vampire Vampire?

Why Does Edward Like Alice Anyways?

Why Did Edward Save Bella from the Van?

Would Edward Protect Bella from The Purge or Use it as an Excuse to Eat Her?

Does Edward Victim Blame?

Everyone Already Pants After Carlisle, Edward Knows

Edward Plays Kiss, Marry, Kill: The Answers Will Shock You!

Edward: Probably Not that Offended by Traditionally Unfeminine Women

How Would Edward React if Rosalie Had Brought Home a Woman From the Mountain?

Edward, The Madonna/Whore Complex, and Why He’s Not Sleeping with Tanya

Would Edward Change His Opinion of Mike Newton if He Protected Her from the Van and Died?

Could Edward Have Sex Outside of Marriage?

How Would Edward React to Having Sex with a Close Female Friend He Doesn’t Love?

Would Edward Be Happier Embracing His Inner Demon?

Does Edward Believe in Soulmates?

What if Someone Read Ao3 Porn Next to Edward in Class?

Edward Believes in Soulmates and Will Probably Cheat on Bella: Somehow Not Mutually Exclusive

Edward Doesn’t Think Demetri is Dangerous

Why Would Edward Make Bella Human Again (If He Only Got to Pick One)?

Why Edward Never Uses Tongue/Open Mouthed Kissing When Bella’s Human

If You Asked for Sex with a Human Advice, Post Canon Edward Would Probably Still Point You to the Denali

Canon Edward was Horrified of Edward, Human Edward Would Be Too

Edward and the Least Interested Someone Can React to “An Aggressively Female Body”

Edward in General

Edward’s the Heart of the Family

If Edward Went to Hogwarts Would Dumbledore Read His Mind?

Did Edward Contact the Denali to Learn How to Best Have Sex with Bella?

Why Do I think Harry Potter and Edward Cullen are Gay?

Edward Has No Gaydar

Yes, Edward Was Really Trying to Kill Himself in Volterra

Edward and the Phantom of the Opera

Was Edward Always Crazy?

Is Edward Charming?

Does Edward Like ABBA?

How Long Until Edward Loses Interest in Bella?

Which Pairing Makes Edward Suffer the Most?

Would Edward Ever Join the Volturi? (Or, Edward’s Ego Takes a Bruising)

Has Edward Seen the Wall of Carlisle?

Under What Circumstances Would Edward Murder Carlisle?

Thoughts on Edward’s Misogyny

Would Edward Have Eloped?

How Would Edward Have Reacted if One of His Victims from the 1930′s Survived to Become a Man-Eating Vampire?

How are Edward and Louis Pointe du Lac from Interview with a Vampire Similar?

The Similarities Between Edward and Breaking Bad’s Walter White

Would Edward Have Spared His Son Edward Jacob as He Did Renesmee?

How Would I Make Edward a More Moral Person?

How Would Edward React at the Idea of a Gifted Carlisle?

What if Edward Had Been Alone in the Ballet Studio?

How Did Edward React the First Time Carlisle and Esme Went to Isle Esme?

What if Carlisle Had Brought Edward to Volterra?

If Aro Had Decided to Use Chelsea When Edward Thought Bella Was Dead Would He Still Insist on Suicide?

What is Edward’s Self-Inheritance Scheme?

Armand from Interview with a Vampire and Edward Cullen are the Same Person

How Would Edward React if Bella Ate a Person?

Does Edward Even Have Morals?

Edward’s Gift and Foreign Languages

Would Edward’s New Moon Plan Even Work?

Edward Got Beat Up by Jane Once

Can Edward Play Rush E?

Edward Probably Didn’t Go to Prom Before Bella and Got Weird About It

If Animal Blood Weakened Gifts, Edward Would Still Be on the Diet

Can Edward Stop Repressing His Homosexuality and Could Carlisle Tell Him He’s Gay?

How Would Edward React if Bella Had Said Rosalie’s Name Longingly in Her Sleep?

What Would Edward Have Done if Bella Hadn’t Agreed to Marry Him?

On Why Even if There Was a Vampire Therapist it Wouldn’t Help Edward Much

Could Edward Be a CEO?

Could Edward, Garrett, and Jasper Be the Volturi?

Are Edward and Carlisle Similar to Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars?

You Can’t Trust Edward

You Can’t Trust a Word Out of Edward’s Mouth, Especially About the Volturi

Edward Can Absolutely Be Blocked (He’s Still Not the Fastest)

Edward’s General Reliability and His View of Bella and Alice’s Friendship

Despite Edward’s Insistence, He Does Not Look Like a Cougar When He Hunts

Edward Doesn’t Listen to a Word Bella Says

In the World of Comedy, Everyone is the Straight Man to Edward’s Lunacy

Edward Hyperanalyzes Everything Bella Says

How the Hell Did Edward Beat Victoria?

Edward and His Insane Double Think

Edward Likes Blondes

Why Does Edward Hate the Volturi So Much?

Yes, Edward Thinks He’s Better Than Us Mortal Plebians

Is Edward Dumber than Harry Potter?

Can Edward Self-Improve?

Can Edward Actually Play Piano or is This a Debacle?

It Doesn’t Matter What Aro Was Thinking When He First Met Edward, Edward Would Not Notice or Care

Okay, But What if Edward Caught Carlisle and Aro in the Act? Could He Still Deny? (I Believe in Edward)

Edward Can Read Neurodivergent Minds, He’s Just an Asshole

[ebonyslasher]

Not sure if you'd be up for it, but may I request some Leo Kasper/Daniel Lamb action?

Sure, that's totally fine. Had to think about it for a bit. I hope I can do MLM slash justice. You didn't specify what type of action you wanted, so I just made up a random scenario.

----

Light feet hit burnt orange as Daniel quickly made his way through the dingy hallway. His breath was becoming quicker with each step, turning into short pants. He unconsciously quiets his pants, making sure to not get caught by the pimps attempting to chase him.

Daniel confidently walked into Bee's Honey pot, adamant on talking to Judy. According to Leo, the grimy place was a brothel front for The Project. It wasn’t far from the sex dungeon trap he first met her at. Meaning, she had to be there. He stalks through the place, taking out various enemies along the way. Something he was, unfortunately, getting used to.

However, it seems like he made the wrong move. 3 pimps were chasing him due to a miscalculation, and they were pissed. Dangerous men bask in the feeling of anger, thinking that their ragged, increased testosterone made them feel like real men. They were so simple to figure out, but Daniel knows that with the anger came fervor and determination. With his surprising stamina, he could usually lose his enemies by disappearing into the darkness. With this being a motel, he just needed to find a corner and an unlocked room nearby.

He spots a nearby corner as his new target, cranking up his speed so he could lose these pimps. After he spins around the corner, he quickly stops into a dark spot within the corridor to hear if he lost them.

"I saw his ass turn that corner!," one of the pimps shouted. Shit! That trick usually worked. What was he going to do? There was no time to think up a plan, Daniel started to move again, trying any and every door he could come across. He hears them gaining on him with each door knob jiggle, his panting turning into a slight wheeze. Goosebumps flitted up his skin, making his hair raise. It felt like they were right on his neck.

Daniel felt his heart drop and his eyes started to water. It felt like he was on the edge of having a panic attack. This was not the time for this shit, he needed to hide!

He, finally, finds an unlocked door and goes inside. It's pitch dark. He slams his hands against the wall, feeling his way through the room. He quickly finds a closet door. Yanking it open, he slides inside and crouches down, makes himself as small as possible.

As he waited, he could hear the men arguing, wondering where he was. Maybe he actually lost them this time? His breathing began to slow, finding some stability and control in this wild situation. He was just beginning to calm down as they started to leave. However, he heard one thing that made his soul tumble.

"Hold on…let’s look in these rooms one by one til we find that motherfucker!"

Oh no.

oh no...no.

no.no.no.no.noooooooooo. 

His breath began to quicken again. Simultaneously, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He grabs the back of his head and squeezes. A tightening sensation spread through his chest that was painful. Plopping down onto the ground, he attempts to bring his hands to his chest, but it was a chore. His limbs felt weak, as they fell to his lap. He began to tremble and gasp for air.

As Daniel starts to work through his panic attack, he hears a gruff voice harshly whisper, "Damnit Danny, this is not the time for this shit!"

It was Leo, making his very convenient appearance. Where the hell was he earlier? And, as always, Leo never helped in these situations. Well, emotionally at least. His comment causes Daniel’s eyes to water, tears falling down his vanilla white face. He felt himself start to hyperventilate, causing him to panic even more. The sounds could alert the pimps of where they were. In the background, Daniel could hear muffled yelling coming from his gruff partner. The only words he could make out were, “You breathe any louder….gonna fucking kill us both!”

Again, his comments ...not helping! Daniel, obviously, did not want to have a panic attack at all. Especially at a time like this. These reactions were involuntary. His body and mind were fighting for the control that was slipping past it.

“Danny, I got you. I’ll handle it. Fuck. Just man up already!” Leo says, trying to comfort Daniel. It was obvious to him that being tough on the gentle guy didn’t always work. What he’s learned so far is that offering to take over usually helped him calm down.

Daniel scrunched his eyes, trying to find a semblance of control. Hearing Leo’s offer to take the forefront made him relax slightly. The faster he could calm down, the faster he could help Leo handle the enemies. 

As he tries to relax, they both hear a resounding boom and crack. He freezes as he hears frantic scrambling and cussing nearby. They were right next door.

Any control that he tried to conjure up snapped, and he was full blown having a panic attack. 

Leo could faintly feel the point of no return within Daniel. He could hear his pitiful sounds that were, very unfortunately, getting louder. He could feel the tears running down their face, the contraction of muscles as lungs gasped for air, the swelled pain in their chest, and the feeling of helplessness. The phantom effects of the attack were starting to make Leo panic, which was pissing him off to no end. Something drastic needed to happen to get Daniel to stop and Leo to take control.

With anger, frustration, and a bit of pity; he does something without thinking to shut him up. Leo springs forward, grabbing Daniel’s face quickly. Daniel feels the light touch, but doesn’t really react, too out of his mind. Leo brings his face in and smashes his lips against Daniels. 

Leo scrunched his eyes to not acknowledge what he was doing. All he could allow himself to focus on was the odd, soft feeling of his own lips against Daniel’s. He could faintly feel Daniel’s side as well, making it a very unique experience. Both of their lips were chapped and unmoving. He could feel the tears rolling down Daniels’ face with their collision. 

Daniel, wide eyed, doesn’t return the kiss. He’s too flabbergasted at the gall, especially during this situation. But, he couldn’t help but note that Leo’s lips were so soft, contrasting the phantom gruff sensation of Leo’s beard against his own. His nose scrunched to the side, awkwardly, sitting against Leo’s face. He was having an out of body experience.

Leo pulls back, a small smack at the contact was the only sound to fill their temporary safe zone. Even though they couldn’t see each other, Leo snaps his head away in embarrassment. The pressure of the blush against his cheeks was humiliating. He felt downright odd after what he’d done, but it seemed like it worked. He was slightly happy that his desperate attempt worked. It was only a moment later that Daniel responded.

“You can’t just kiss someone while in a panic attack, Leo. It doesn’t work.” Daniel stated, his voice eerily calm.

“Well, it obviously worked with you, dumbass. Come on. They’re getting closer and I'm itching to kill.”

Getting up, Leo faces the inside of the closet door, ready to kill to get his mind off of the weird moment. Daniel mimics his actions, getting up robotically. He feels confused and a little giddy?

Whatever that meant, it was something that he couldn’t analyze as he heard the door to the door get kicked open. Revitalized, he waits for his first victim to cross the barrier.

[dangermousie]

Do you love angst, trashiness and playboys redeemed and suffering for love?

OK, cdrama current landscape is like a desert after a nuclear strike but that doesn’t mean I cannot dig into the past when CCP was less interested in micromanaging entertainment unless it actually tried to get into politics (did you know that at one point there was a period drama! airing on TV! on which the leading role of Empress Cixi was played by a Japanese actress! And the world did not end! It’s wild how far c-ent has come and not in a good way; that frog has been boiling for a long time.)

Anyway, I present to you Four Women Conflict/Love Tribulations, a drama from 2011 starring Ady An, a huge fave, as a woman with the worst luck ever, Feng Shao Feng as a playboy who meets her because he’s being paid to seduce her but falls desperately for real, and her first love played by Mickey He. Taking place in the early years of the 20th century, misery for all, but so good!

Meet our heroine, as beautiful as she’s tormented. In ep 1 alone: her newly widowed stepmother sold her barely pubescent self into a brothel. But it’s OK because her childhood love rescued her and burned her stepmom to a crisp. A fast forward and she's a maid in some house and it doesn't look too horrific, so we'll see. Except the husband fancies her and the wife's reaction is "you can do anything you like outside but don't seduce the maids inside the house." Charming. Except he's still after her so she's ordered to be whipped by the jealous wife. Who then marries her off to some ugly moron with zero willpower or brain.  It gets better as she gets raped by her former master on her wedding night (who bullies her husband into letting him). And the raping thing turns into a systemic thing. This is all in ep 1,none of it would be allowed now. I am not saying abuse is a great thing but this all a hell of a lot more realistic fate for a beautiful lower class woman than the dim sugar confections try to show us nowadays.

When we finally meet the hero, he's having sex with a married woman. While being married himself, and not to her. On the grounds of a Buddhist monastery. Once again none of this would fly nowadays.

Meet heroine’s childhood love and stepmom crisper, played by young and scrumptious Mickey He (sexy demon dad in L&R). On brand, when we first meet heroine's childhood love as an adult, he's rescuing a bunch of women who've been captured by slavers.

By any laws of sanity, I should be shipping heroine with her childhood love and I do, madly, but I ship her with the hero also! I have no idea why but  maybe because even though I know in real life, a playboy will just give you a bad case of STDs and will never reform, it's so satisfying to watch the whole 'playboy redeemed by/suffering for/madly in love' scenario on screen. Plus, he's about the only character who appears to have an fun in this, and God knows, poor heroine needs someone who can show her some fun and also knows what he's doing in bed, too.

And here is where the plot gets going. We see playboy spread his love/STDs to another lady, a very rich one this time. After playboy and a rich banker lady finish banging, they have the following convo as interpreted by me:

Playboy: So, about that loan for my business? I mean, if you need more persuading, I can go all night. Friend-with-benefits/his moneylender: OK, loan. Fine. You get the loan the day you seduce Du Lanyun. Playboy: Am I supposed to know who she is? And since when are you pimping for me? Do you want a threesome or something? Are you into girl-on-girl action? Where do I sign up? Friend-with-benefits: Look, you are the only guy with a spoken part who's not in love with Ady An. We must remedy this pronto or else the universe will be destroyed. Also, my best friend's husband is cheating on my friend with her. Yeah, Lanyun has no interest in the guy, who apparently raped her and made her life hell, but sure, let's lash out at the victim. Playboy: I feel the sudden need of meeting a beautiful and pure woman who will redeem me and put me through hell in the name of love. Otherwise, where will this drama be? Friend-with-benefits: I promise I won't be jealous. This isn't an ironic foreshadowing, no siree. Oh, and her first love is Mickey He. Playboy: It's fun to see in how many dramas I can steal a woman's heart from Mickey He. I am in! Friend-with-benefits: And speaking of "in"...the bed is right there and I was never able to resist going for seconds. Playboy: If you close your eyes, I'll take you to heaven (actual quote, guys! Well, I suppose it's good to have self-confidence).

[strangefable]

Lilith for the oc asks?

@detectivelokis and @voidika also asked for Lilith for this one. Thanks to all of you <3 (and apologies I took so long)

01. Full name: Lilith Seed, née Mallory (does she have a middle name? probably. have i come up with it yet? no)

02. Best friend: Currently: Faith Seed. Formerly: Tracey Lader, Rachel Jessop, & Mary May Fairgrave (it's complicated)

03. Sexuality: Bisexual and unapologetically overtly sexual; she's also polyamorous

04. Favorite color: Red. the color of blood and violence and destruction, as well as passion and fire, bold and brash, insists on being noticed

05. Relationship status: Married to Jacob Seed

06. Ideal mate: multiple. one person can't fulfill all her needs

07. Turn-ons: strength, violence, confidence, tall mfers, dark hair, the thrill of the chase, being protected, lying and subterfuge, forbidden liaisons, troubled personalities, extremes, chaos, danger

08. Favorite food: MEAT. she likes her steak a little bloody and her plate heavy with the protein and light on anything else. she's fairly partial to bbq

09. Crushes: heh. who she doesn't have a crush on is a much shorter list. she revels in attraction and being desired by as many as possible

10. Favorite music: as a loyal Peggie, she'd claim the Peggie tunes. But she's actually more of a hard rock and metal kind of girl

11. Biggest fear: being powerless, being alone, being rejected

12. Biggest fantasy: to cause as much chaos as she can. she's living it, tbh

13. Bad habits: causing chaos, stabbing people, scaring the Chosen and the new recruits, sneaking away for days at a time, sowing discord and mayhem, having sex with people she shouldn't, having sex with the person she's supposed to (her husband), pretty much everything she does is a bad habit <3

14. Biggest regret: not killing her former husband before he could put her through all he did. also not being the one to kill him later. (Jake did it for her)

15. Best kept secrets: where she sneaks off to, who she's sleeping with, the games she's playing with everyone around her, some of mary may's dirty laundry, also she's got so much dirt on staci, tbh she deals in secrecy, espionage, and information

16. Last thought: plotting more mayhem and trouble for everyone <3

17. Worst romantic experience: marrying the wrong man and then being pimped out by him to all manner of unpleasant weirdos

18. Biggest insecurity: she is tiny and she is not a powerhouse fighter, so she's always worried people see her as weak. especially jacob and his chosen. she also needs constant validation about her looks; she has a very distorted view of her own body

19. Weapon of choice: knives! for throwing or stabbing or cutting or peeling or every other possible use. she loooooooooves knives

20. Role Model: she wouldn't claim one, she had shit adults to look up to growing up and she's mistrustful of everyone. she'd never say this, because the Father would likely burn her for heresy, but she looks to her namesake as a patron saint/deity: Lilith, the demonic first woman who turned against Adam and God in the Garden in favor of herself

[dumbestthingiveeverheard]

Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard: 7/20/2023

Third Place: Rand Paul

Speaking on Kudlow yesterday, Senator Paul said the following regarding giving military funding to Ukraine:

From a fiscal conservative perspective, it makes no sense to borrow money from China to send it to Ukraine. It’s not like we’re sending them surplus funds. It’s like, "Oh, we have surplus ammo around." We’re actually out of ammo now, we’re out of money. And so, there’s no real sense in continuing to do this.

Of course, this is the same nonsense I covered J.D. Vance saying two days ago--so expect this to be the new Republican Party line for the foreseeable future. However, we are by no means "out of ammo," the United States has spent years having the largest military in the world, to the point where The Pentagon itself has said it no longer needs new equipment. Also, the money we'd be borrowing would more than likely not come from China, given only about five percent of our national debt is money borrowed from China--Japan is a far bigger foreign creditor than China is, for the record. Most of our debt, two-thirds to be exact, is actually owned by American investors.

Second Place: Jim Jordan

The Ohio Congressman made two absurd claims at today's hearing, first arguing that Hank Aaron died from the COVID-19 vaccine and also claiming that the Biden White House censored Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in January 2021 because of his status as Biden's primary challenger.

The first claim fails to make sense because an autopsy found that Aaron died of natural causes because, you know, he was 86 at the time. The second point falls apart when you remember that Biden couldn't have censored Kennedy because he was challenging the President in January 2021, since Kennedy didn't announce his campaign until April 2023.

Winner: Nicholas Kristof

Last night, the New York Times columnist published a piece called "When Children Are Bought and Sold" which serves as little more than a puff piece for the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, which best as I can tell is an anti-sex work organization pretending to be an anti-human trafficking organization.

The article tells the story of Melanie Thompson, who was a victim of human trafficking at a young age. Although her story is a tragic one, the fact that this--and other concerns regarding human trafficking--are used by Kristof in this column to argue against decriminalization of sex work is something I cannot ignore. Especially given ninety percent of sex work is done by consenting adults. In spite of that, this outlier is treated as the norm, with Kristof writing at one point:

Melanie scoffs at the view that pimps are business partners of women selling sex. “I never touched the money,” she told me. “And if you got caught trying to stash anything, it was not good for you.”

What's especially telling is that, despite this being a rather extreme situation, this is the only story the article tells. We don't get a single anecdote of sex workers who are consenting to their job and working happily, even though--as I just mentioned--they make up the vast majority of cases. (It's not even as if such a thing would be hard. John Stossel managed to do that several years ago, specifically through having them confront anti-sex work activists.) This would be on the same level as me saying it should be illegal to work for an energy company, and my only example being the story of one person who worked at Enron. Or, how about I say it should be illegal to run a newspaper because one newspaper--the most read one in the country--used it influence to help make sure the SMITH Act passed through Congress, which was used to silence leftists all throughout the 1940s and 1950s, because they were worried Eastern European immigrants into the United States would--gasp--take us to war with Hitler. (For those unaware, yes, The New York Times actually did that.)

The article does note that "one large global study found that legalization is associated with more trafficking," however, the substitution effect means that legal sex work will be preferred over illegal sex work, driving the traffickers out of the market. For that matter, since New Zealand's decriminalization of sex work in 2003, not a single case of human trafficking has come out of the sex industry. You see, it turns out actual data is complicated and can't be explained away with the worst case scenario.

Nicholas Kristof, you've said the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[starvinbohemian]

Have you seen the new interview with the vampire show?

I have seen exactly one episode. And for no other reason than because I have a crazy relationship with Anne Rice, having been completely re-shaped as a person when I first discovered her books as a (too young) kid, and because I was afraid to start the show and hate it. I have read so much Anne Rice, but this one-- this one, my beloved Interview-- was the first, the gateway and possibly the most formative thing I've read in my whole life. I felt certain the show would be bad. I knew from watching past interviews that Christopher Rice was excited to adapt The Vampire Lestat with his mother, but then Anne died, and it seemed to me that this latest adaptation was wrestled away from him and made into another Interview adaptation that he seemed to feel was unnecessary. And maybe it was taken from him? I have no idea, because I haven't looked into it at all. I see he's credited as an executive producer on this show, but that's a ceremonial title in most cases, so who knows? Besides, the '90s movie with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise is, in my opinion, as good an adaptation as one could hope for (minus a better casting for Armand). Why did we need another adaptation?

Anyway, it took me an extra minute, because early pictures of Louis in a hoodie made me want to set myself on fire. Whatever else she might have thought of this show, Anne is definitely rolling over in her grave over that one. My boy would never. But something else I'm positive of is that Anne would have LOVED Sam Reid's Lestat. I'm honestly shocked by how perfect this casting was. I didn't think anyone could do a convincing Lestat performance. The character is... a lot lol. I admit to loving Tom Cruise's Lestat, but I think it's safe to say that he was never Anne's Lestat. I believe with everything in me that Sam Reid would have been Anne's Lestat. Perfection. (We're not gonna talk about Stuart Townsend's Lestat.)

So, my thoughts:

I'm still kinda wrapping my head around some of the changes from the book. Why are we in Dubai? They made my boy a pimp??? But I can see why, in the year of our lord 2023, it would be awkward to try to sell a protagonist that used to be a plantation slave owner. So, I get it. Moving on.

The melodrama. The big, sweeping musical score. Louis’ pretentious, occasionally ridiculous voice-over narration. Perfect reflection of the book’s tone. 

Speaking of melodrama... Lestat and Louis’ bad romance. Oh, boy. I know the showrunner really gets these two, because in the after-show interview, he said that what Louis called “being hunted” by Lestat, Lestat would call “courting” Louis. Yup. That’s them. 

And the STEAM. I did not expect them to go so hard with the erotic aspect of their relationship. I guess, after so many adaptations either dancing around it (lookin’ at you, ‘99) or outright ignoring/subverting it (lookin’ at you, Queen of the Damned), I wasn’t expecting to see Louis and Lestat straight-up devouring each other in a levitating sex scene one episode in. Although, Lestat declaring his love and immediately demanding all of Louis’ attention-- even during his brother’s funeral-- one episode in is very him. They got married, bathed in blood, at a church alter, surrounded by the corpses of priests Lestat had just brutally murdered-- not two minutes after Louis had been desperately begging said priests to save him from Lestat. The drama! The macabre! The most Anne Rice thing I’ve ever seen! Even Louis being annoying and mentally voicing over Lestat’s dramatic “let me turn you so we can be together forever” speech at its titular moment so I can’t actually hear it is pretty Anne Rice (and pretty Louis).

All of this happens one episode in. And to that, I say... Brava, show! That level of extra is exactly Lestat and Louis. (I love them.)

Also, this is a really interesting take on Daniel Molloy. My first instinct was rebellion-- where is my strung-out little twink reporter??? Armand's neurotic boy toy? But I think I love this older, jaded version of Daniel. I love that the first interview is still canon, but that Daniel botched it so bad that he had to wait decades for another shot. Moving the (second) interview to later in Daniel's life makes for a different Louis/Daniel dynamic, and I'm excited to see more of it. Daniel's bitter, but he's also still completely ensnared, and I'm here for it. I also appreciate that Daniel pointed out that there were inconsistencies and deflections in Louis' story the first time around, since that fits with the revelation in subsequent books that Louis wasn't exactly being 100% in his account. And it's just so Louis that he had to take a forty-nine-year pout before returning. (I love him.)

And crazy, religious brother Paul is here! Still crazy and religious! He finally made it into an adaptation. Good for him.

And ahhhh stealth Nicki reference! Lestat’s crazy violin-playing ex. I won’t hold my breath, but I hope we actually get to see him in a flashback. Paul made it into the show, so why not Nicki?

But I’ve gotta say that the biggest shock for me was Louis and Paul tap dancing. Louis... and Paul tap dancing? Anne, can you believe this?

A final shout-out to these lines:

Lestat, trying to convince Louis, future thorn in his side, to become a vampire: “I can take away that sorrow.” Hahahaha. Oh, Lestat. You have no idea how wrong you are. As if Louis would ever let you do that. Pain is his favorite.

“You’re his destiny, Louis!” Hahahahaha. You have noooo ideeeea.

So, I'm probably going to keep watching. I hope Louis sets something on fire soon! 

[syyskirjat]

Sueños de piedra (ch2)

Still not sure if I'll read this whole book but I decided already that I want to at least read this one because I'm curious about what Lynne's deal is (especially having confirmed that she is indeed the "damsel in distress" who is haunted by her past)

(Her past being murder, apparently)

I'm hoping the magician/wizard character Hasan shows up too, I'd like to find out about him while I'm at it

I didn't mention this in the last post, but the chapters have these little ornaments at the beginning before the name of the POV character (the chapters are otherwise unnamed, it's like ASOIAF). Arthmael's was a crown, similar to the crown on the book cover but just tilted on its side and with an organic pattern behind it. This one seems to be coins. Is it specifically three coins? Maybe!

I remember seeing the full dust jacket design of the book having coins on the back cover, maybe these are the same coins

Three coins here too, so maybe the number is significant

The other thing of note here are the two figures on the coins, who are they? To me it looks like two princes facing each other, one maybe older than the other? This seems too early for them to have had time to mint new coins showing both Jacques and Arthmael so idk if it can be them? But maybe? This chapter could take place at a later date or something, I have no idea.

Or it could be the king and Arthmael, that would make sense.

(Sorry, this is how I blog about books, I pay too much attention to the details sometimes)

Anyways, onto the actual chapter!

...

.....

....... Welp

Okay this is going under the cut immediately

(Do we need a content warning already? I think we might, but I don't know how to word that exactly. In any case NSFW)

ETA: Yes we doooooooo, we do need content warnings: human trafficking, forced sex work, both involving a minor, including a scene with the victim and her victimiser having sex, physical abuse, also just straight up sexual assault towards the end

Lord Kenan collapses onto my naked body with one last grunt of pleasure. I feel his sweat sticking to the skin of my back and his hands still grip my hips tightly. I can only stare at the sheets, waiting for the moment when he pulls back once and for all and lets me move again. Let me leave your side. Let me be free, this time forever. Tonight was my last night. This will be my last time. Or so I want to convince myself.

Okay reading ahead, it sounds like Lynne is a sex worker, so I guess that's the context of the coins? Oh boy...

Lord Kenan is apparently not the worst client but clearly not her favourite either.

... Oh but he does hit her sometimes if she doesn't show enough enthusiasm, okay

Alright then.

Fourteen years. At fourteen years old he brought me to this damned place. On nights like this, I wonder how I've lasted so long.

Oh it's getting worse, great

I'm no longer excited about this chapter xD

Also I guess Lord Kenan is not a client then but a pimp?

Kenan likes them weak, submissive and sweet. Full of attention for him. I stopped being sweet a long time ago, although perhaps I have never stopped being weak. Maybe that's why I haven't run away yet. Because I'm afraid that what's outside is worse than what's here. But that's over.

Okay okay, realistically this chapter is gonna be her escaping right? Is Lord Kenan the guy she kills or did she already kill someone else? Are we about to witness a murder? I would not be opposed to it

His serious look makes me tense in my seat as he gets ready. His blue eyes have always been icy, although he often tries to melt them with the false warmth with which he treats all of us prostitutes, to make us feel that we are in a good place even if we live in hell.

He tells her that she's their most precious jewel and hopes that she's not boring their customers and then kisses her possessively. She finally snaps and says she's going to leave.

She also randomly starts wondering how old she is, I kinda feel like I might have missed something there, why she's bringing that up right now. But the point is that she thinks she's somewhere between fifteen and twenty.

He seems to think she just meant leave the room to see other customers but she clarifies that she means leaving the brothel entirely, for good.

His hand grabs my face again before I can do anything to stop it. Only this time it's not abrupt. It's sweet, tender. And that's almost worse than the violence he often uses. When he does this, when he smiles, when he caresses me as if he really cared for me, the more dangerous he is.

btw I'm skipping a lot of the details here, I'd just rather not djkghglkj

What is the alternative for a girl like you out there? Without property, without family, without money… You will do the same, charging less adn in any alley. Besides, that would be so ungrateful, Lynne… Who took you out of need when you were a bony, lost child, a thief who couldn't even put more than a couple of crumbs a day in her mouth?

They've had this talk before and Lynne has always caved in the end out of fear and shame but this time she decides to stay strong

But I'm not going to let it scare me this time. No. I can do great things. If I try hard, I can be the owner of my life. I can start my own business, just like my father once did, before he died. Maybe not in Silfos, where women don't have options, and much less will I have them, having been a prostitute. But Marabilia is a large continent: I will look for them in other countries and, if I don't find them, I will travel to other continents if necessary. I have heard that beyond our seas a woman can be anything she wants to be.

Okay so there might be other continents in this world where women have more opportunities, enough so that the people in Marabilia are aware of this, noted.

lmao, I fully thought this was an island not a continent. I swear the map looked so small! I think it's the style, with the towers and trees and mountains drawn individually, but of course they don't actually have to be to scale, I realise

Anyway, I'm now wondering if the title of the book is metaphorical and refers to the aspirations of the main characters? Not sure what the stone would symbolise, but it would make sense, especially with the dedication as well. Dreams definitely seem to be a theme

Lord Kenan mocks her and thinks she wants to find a wealthy husband to save her, asks her doesn't she already know what all men are like, having seen them visit her, etc.

In her mind she basically agrees that all men are like that but she doesn't want a man or a family

I don't aspire for anyone to love me. I don't aspire to love anyone either. Maybe I couldn't do it even if I wanted to, because I forgot a long time ago what it was like to feel affection.

Well rip

— Oh, little flower! Have you learned so little? Have I taught you that badly? Do you really have hope for something like that? I'm afraid you've read too many stories from exotic countries across the ocean. Here women are not queens, nor do you have rights beyond giving birth to our children. You are worthless without a man to protect you. And who is going to protect you if I don't?

Okay we're clearly not gonna be very subtle

She insists that she's going to leave and goes to put on her clothes but he assaults her and rapes her again, but she reaches under the pillow and stabs him with a dagger.

— I told you I was leaving here, I whisper to him. I open the window. I don't even look at Kenan again. I don't even worry about how long he will agonize until he finally gives up and dies. Arming myself with courage, I take the leap towards my freedom.

End of chapter two.

Ooookay. To be honest that went pretty much exactly how I expected it to go after finding out that Kenan was her pimp and not just a client.

I wonder if he's actually a lord or is that just his nickname? The consequences of the murder would definitely depend on whether he's an actual nobleman or just a random pimp.

Buuut yeah, idk, didn't enjoy this chapter so much ngl xD I much preferred making fun on Arthmael. But I guess it's over now so... idk, maybe I'll read at least one more

I do kinda have a hunch that this book is not gonna be my thing, but to be fair it hasn't really started yet

[merkdiezlestory]

But anyways I was very worried about Katy. I remember I went to her apartment a couple times over the course of maybe six months of her not talking to me or answering my texts. I constantly texted her telling her to “stay strong and please never hurt yourself”.

I recall I went to her place and I told her that I would just like to talk to her maybe once a month or once every two months, just to make sure she is ok. Also I didn’t want to be rejected by her and kicked out of her life completely after she had the abortion. I think a part of me felt like if she did that that was her saying she had the abortion in order to eliminate me from her life.

But she told me that she would be happy if I stayed out of her life. She told me that if she decides she will reach out to me but she told me to stop reaching out to her. But she had said that she may never reach out to me and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want her to reject me like that and throw me out of her life.

Then about five months after the abortion Stacy changed her Snapchat avatar to a girl wearing a sexy almost bikini outfit. That upset me because I told her that I didn’t want her advertising herself like that after the abortion because it would look like she killed my daughter to get rid of me and go back on the market to have sex with other guys. And third hurt me psychologically. So I made angry texts at her about her new sexily dressed avatar on Snapchat.

And I did constantly text her trying to make sure she was ok and telling her I was sorry for the pain I put her through and the gossip I did that hurt her and all of that stuff.

But at the time I was still an anti religious leftist Satanist. I still believed in Darwinism and still was for race mixing and was anti Aryan.

My grandpa actually broke me out of this later but I will get to that revelation. Then I will go back to the basked on true story books I wrote from 2013 to 2024 and go through all of them and the interesting ideas in them and my progression of thought. But that’s later in this book

My swag flow was getting better but it was still a little off. I hadn’t figured things out much yet. I had revelations later

But then about six months after the abortion Stscy posted a picture with her friend Sylvie Barnett at a hippie druggie Satanist pool party and she was in a bikini. Thankfully the photo wasn’t very revealing but it upset me a lot because I had asked Stacy not to party with the druggie hippie losers like Sylvie Barnett and the rest of the Jewish Satanist gang filled with people of color and anti white anti Aryan people and drug users polyamorous loser crowd film of Satanists who call themselves witches and all of that

This is what I am going to get to. But my leftist anti white ways came back to bite me. I wanted to destroy white people but I ended up almost destroying myself. I hung out with that crowd full of drug user hippie polyamorous losers. I never did any drugs but I hung out with them. When Katy was pregnant with my baby she started hanging out with them too when she went to the Halloween “kickback”. It was her first time hanging out with them thankfully. But that’s why I freaked out when Sylvie Barnett posted the photos from the party. I knew the people from the party and knew they were drug user hippie losers and didn’t want Stscy hanging out with them while she was pregnant or at all. Stacy had told me that she did cocaine with Sylvie before she met me. And I was ok with Stacy going to the kickback, but a week later she lied to me about going to the movies when she was going to go to another party with Sylvie, probably with the same drug using satanist losers. A lot of them are for homosexuality and trans sexual Ian and that crew is full of Jews and a Chinese girl for abortions and leftist crazy people who are anti society anti God and anti Aryan pro Dravidian Shiva worshippers. A lot of the guys in that crowd pimp women and are big time drug users and drug addicts and sellers and that whole crowd is evil. That was the crew I was hanging out with because I was anti society anti white and I hung out with them because they were on my wavelength. But now I was seeing it come back to bite me. My Jewish hatred towards Aryans was coming back to destroy me. It’s funny because my uncle had said that, that the Jews were against White people and he liked seeing the leftist policies turn against them in Israel. I expressed as my Grandpa would say predator prey software towards whites, and that software was flipping over on me. I even remember during the Black Lives Matter riots I wanted the Black people to defeat and destroy the White people. I will get to that later in this book.

So when I saw that Sylvie posted a photo of her and Stacy at a party with that upset me. I had told Stscy after the abortion I didn’t want her hanging out with that polyamorous drug abuser hippie loser crowd Satanists.

I haven’t gotten to this yet but over the years in Los Angeles since I moved back there in 2015 I had hung out with that crowd a lot but I will get back to that later in this book.

So after Sylvie posted the photo of her and Stscy on instagram of them at the pool party with he druggie hippie polyamorous loser crowd, I got upset. My swag flow had been off and was still sort of off. Now it is getting better

But I was upset that she wasn’t talking to me. If she would have just talked to me and see me then I think I would have been ok. But she had ghosted me and now was going to parties and in my mind what this was telling me was she was saying “I killed your daughter so that I could party and do drugs with Sylvie Barnett and the other druggie losers”

But I drove to Stacy’s work. I went into Stacy’s work and I knew there was a potential that the police would be called. So when I went in there Stscy was there an people from her work saw me. So I told her “you owe me 3000 dollars” just to make sure that it didn’t look like Inwas coming in there for no reason. But I didn’t want money from Stacy. Even though I paid about 3000 dollars worth of groceries when she was pregnant with my baby

But I just said that so nobody would think I came in there for no reason in case somebody called the police.

But I just wanted to talk to Stacy and tell her that I had been suffering and struggling and I didn’t like that she cut me out of her life after the abortion and was going to parties without me with drug addict hippies and all that.

I think out of anger I told her “I’m going to get you fired”. But there was a maintenance man there and Stscy told him to call the police or whatever and I left

The next day I went back to Stacy’s work because I wanted to talk to her but she was not there

I was worried about her and thought she might have committed suicide. So I drove to Stacy’s moms house. I knocked on the door. I had never met Katy’s mom before. Her name is Elizabeth Lewin. But she yelled at me “I know who you are!” Through the window. I asked her “are you Ms. Lewin”. This was the first time I had ever seen her.

Stacy’s mom yelled at me that she called the police and told me to leave. I just wanted to talk to her and ask her if she could help me to get back in contact with Stacy and I wanted to see if I could reconcile with their family. I had never really talked to any of them

For a few seconds I talked to her sister Holly Teal on the phone but after I told her who I was she said “we have nothing to talk about” and hung up on me and blocked me.

Like I said I’m not mad at Stacy. I think the baby would have had birth defects. And I think that it was a crazy situation it’s sad my family wouldn’t see me it’s difficult what I’ve been through and the whole situation.

The thing is a lot of basketball players are mediocre. Even in the nba.8 was special because I was unconscius. And if I study videos undid I did things moving into shots and things in general that I did that give me the edge. Skipping stuff and all that and I learned in college if I duplicate things exactly I can redo that stuff. Like I have videos where I do skip stuff and all types of things that when I watch and duplicate it gives me the edge. I would like to get as many videos of when I was younger that I can.

But even though I have few videos I still think I can play professional basketball and now I want to go to israel and play professional basketball. What would harm that is if I go to jail. And Stacy ended up getting a restraining order. The few videos I have have given me the edge and I studied things that give me the edge where I think I can play good in professional basketball

I talked to my friend and he said I didn’t do enough to get a restraining order. The only reason he said I got it was continued to text Stacy after the temporary restraining order was given

But I will get to that

Stacy was not at her work because she went to get a restraining order

But before I got served the restraining order my Haitian friend called me.

My Haitian friend is a part of the drug using hippie polyamorous group that Sylvie was a part of, and he told me that he was at Sylvie’s Halloween “kickback” party that Katy went to, and he told me he met Katy there. But he told me he had never seen her before

So I told my Haitian friend my situation. He took me to a “fire spinning” party. It’s something the drug using hippies do. I told him what was going on and he told me that he would talk to Sylvie Barnett and see if she can help me to talk to and see Stacy.

So the next day I met with my Haitian friend and Sylvie at his house. My Haitian friend told me that Stacy said that I had “gone to her daughter school.” This made me look like a creep like I was trying to get her daughter or something. I told them that I went to her school to talk to the principal so I could get in touch with her baby Daddy because he’s wouldn’t tell him that she wa pregnant even though she was 21 weeks pregnant Stacy said her baby Daddy was “jealous”. I wanted him to know that she was pregnant and she had ghosted me and would not talk to me and I was worried she was going to get an abortion so I went to her daughters school to talk to the principal and get in touch with her baby daddy. But the way Stscy said it it sounded like she was trying to make me out to be a bad guy “going to her daughters school”.

But Ajani and Sylvie recorded our conversation and told me they were going to have Stscy listen to it and eventually I would see Stscy again. They said that Stacy said she didn’t want to see me because I “reminded her of the dead daughter” and she needed time to heal

Also at the time I was still working as a behavior therapist for Special Needs Network.

But anyways Ajani and I drove around a little bit with Sylvie but Sylvie tried to downplay the abortion and said something like “things like that happen to everybody”. I got mad at her because I thought she was being disrespectful to me. But Sylvie and Ajani told me that Katy would see me soon. Sylvie wanted me to give her my phone location so she could track me and make sure I don’t go to Stacy’s place. Ajani told me he would do paychology meditation stuff and things like that with me so I will not overreact like I did when Stacy was pregnant.

It is true I tried to “make things happen” and was probably not in the flow. I did go overboard and continued to test Stacy constantly.

But then a few days later a sheriff came to my door and gave me a restraining order. I called Ajani and Ajani told me that Stacy had got the restraining order a week prior after I went to her work to talk to her.

But Ajani told me that Sylvie said not to worry, Katy was not going to follow through with the restraining order and she was not going to go. So they told me not to worry, that Stscy was not going to get a restraining f order against me and I would be able to talk to her and see her soon.

At the time I was working as a behavior therapist. I was hoping that this would give my mom and dad more impetus to want to see me. Like I said my grandpa was a big reason my parents stopped talking to me and seeing me. My grandpas big idea was “so long as you are not working you will express ally enemy software. Because if you depend on your parents financially then I’d they give you what you want they will be your ally and if they don’t give you what you want they will be your enemy”. My grandpa said so long as I was dependent on my parents I would express ally enemy software and my grandpa said that ally enemy software was self confirmatory. And to my grandpa the self is an illusion, “everything is one”- so there is no separate self

But I remember I told my grandpa “even if I was a millionaire I would still want to talk to and see my mom and dad”. My Grandpa tried to encourage my mom and dad to cut ties with me and not give me any money and force me to work right when I got out of college in 2013 and graduated, so I would “not be dependent on them” and “not be susceptible to ally enemy software”

But now I was working. I was working as a behavior therapist. And my mom admitted to me that she now knew I “didn’t have schizophrenia” because she admitted that since I was working that showed I did not have schizophrenia.

So I asked my Grandpa if he could encourage my Mom and Dad to see me since I was working.

My Grandpa told me that he was encouraging my Dad to talk to me and see me but he told me that “he was stubborn”. He told me “you know your Dad he is stubborn”.

I asked my mom if since I was working she and my dad would see me. My mom told me “no we are never going to see you or talk to you. You just have to accept that. It’s not going to happen”.

So I ended up quitting the job after working in it for like 6 months

But the restraining order court date came. I asked my Haitian friend if Katy would go to the restraining order court date. My Haitian friend said that Stacy was not going to go, and he said he guaranteed it. He said he talked to Sylvie Barnett and Sylvie said that Stacy was not going to go to the court date

But then the court date came. I took off the tracker on my phone that Sylvie was tracking me with and I went to the court

Stacy came into the courthouse and she was crying. At that time I hadn’t sent any texts to Stacy.

Later my Haitian friend would tell me that Stacy would not have gone to the courthouse had it not been for the day after I met with Sylvie and him I had sent a text message to Sylvie asking her if she had ever taken the Kinsey test

Kinsey was a Jewish homosexual who said that everybody had degrees of homosexuality

The night that I met with my Haitian friend and Sylvie when they told me that Katy would not go to the courthouse, before I left Sylvie told me “I am a lesbian”. As I said Sylvie didn’t like me. When Stacy and I were together we went on a double date with Sylvie and one of my friends and Sylvie hated me and treated me like crap. The first thing Sylvie asked me was what I thought of coke and I told her I didn’t like coke heads. Katy later told me that she and Sylvie had done coke together at a party the week before we met

But Sylvie didn’t like me and before I left the meeting with Ajani and Sylvie where they said that Stacy would not get a restraining order and I would see her soon and she would talk to me again soon. They just said I had to not visit Stscy and I had to let Sylvie track my phone.

So I let Sylvie track my phone. But before I left, out of nowhere, Sylvie Barnett told me that she was a lesbian. Like I said she also tried to downplay the abortion and tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal and I felt she disrespected me very bad

But then out of nowhere, I don’t know if she was trying to make me jealous or why she did it, but based on her track record and dislike of me I would say it’s possible she was trying to make me jealous, she said “I am a lesbian”. She told me that she liked girls. I then asked her if she ever did anything lesbian with Katy. She told me that she had kissed Stacy before but she said that Stacy was not a lesbian.

But when she told me this I got very upset because I imagined her doing lesbian stuff with Stacy and I knew she hung out with the polyamorous hippie druggie crew filled with Jewish people and people of color.

But I didn’t say anything about it and just left.

But the next day I texted her asking her if she had done the Kinsey test. I was going to ask her if she could take the test. I wanted to know if she was bisexual or just a lesbian.

But my Haitian friend called me and told me that Sylvie was very mad at me, but I asked why? I just asked if she could take the Kinsey test

But Ajani told me he talked to Sylvie and told me if I send her 40 dollars and don’t text her anymore and if I text her again send her another 40 dollars, then a Katy will not go to the court house on the court date and will drop the restraining order

But the court date came and I did not text Sylvie again and I didn’t text anybody and I let her track my phone the whole month. Still Stacy came to the courthouse on the court date even though my Haitian friend told me a week before the court date not to show up because Sylvie said that Stacy would not show up and would cancel the restraining order

When I had gone to Stacy’s apartment when she was not talking to me and had ghosted me I told her that it would help me out a lot mentally and emotionally if I could talk to her sometimes. I mentioned before that Stacy when she was pregnant lied to me that she was going to go to the movies with her girlfriends but she was really going to go to a Halloween party. After that I discovered she was going to the Halloween party and I didn’t even act bad towards her. But she ghosted me and told me “I am doing my own thing now we are not together”. But a few weeks later I agreed to buy her groceries for the baby and meet up with her. I bought her about 200 dollars worth of groceries. So I bought her groceries and we went to Panda Express and she told me “we will always be together for the rest of our lives we are tied together by this baby”. I told Stacy that she had told me that we would always be connected by the baby and I didn’t want her to cut me out of her life and I wanted to talk to her maybe once a month or once every couple months at least

But Stscy was at the courthouse and was going to get a restraining order against me.

I walked up to Katy and asked her “are you going to cancel the restraining order, Sylvie told me you were going to cancel the restraining order”. Stscy told me “I just want you out of my life”, or something like that. She sat away from me and tried to get a security guard to help her but the security guard didn’t seem too much on her side.

Like I said the way I was interpreting the situation was she had the abortion and killed my baby in order to cut me out of her life and get rid of me. So I told her that she was a psychopath having four abortions in her life. She started to cry

But at the courtroom the judge said that I could get evidence for my case and extend the court date to another month

But I texted Sylvie and asked her why she lied to me. I felt that she had tricked me and tried to get me to not go to the court date so that Katy could easily get the restraining order against me

But Sylvie responded to me “let Katy go it feels so good”. I forget exactly what she messaged me but she told me to let Katy go.

So I started to cuss Sylvie out and called her a “faggot” and all that stuff and was telling her that I wanted her to stay away from Stacy. I told Stacy that she was a drug abusing hippie faggot.

Sylvie wrote on her Facebook that night “letting things go feels so good…” a hippie cliche

So I got very angry and I started texting Stacy’s boss and telling her boss how Stacy had the abortion and lied about the court date and was hanging out with these drug abusing hippies.

I also texted Sylvie and told her I would get her arrested for lieing to me that Katy would not go to the court date and I wanted her to give me my 40 dollars back

[percontaion-points]

Client No 5 chapters 21 & 22

This book review contains discussions of sw; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 21

“Too tired from fucking other men to talk to your boyfriend?” The sneer was unmistakable now. He wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore.

Literally every single thing about this relationship has been nothing but a mistake. 

“Unlike you, I have the ability to detach emotionally during sex.”

That’s not something to brag about, honey. 

Yes, I’m on Ally’s side in this because Scott’s being shitty. But at the same time… what a weird hill to choose. 

“Like what, Ally? It’s a pretty big fucking elephant staring us in the face, waving its trunk around under my nose.” 

AN ELEPHANT THAT YOU SAID YOU WERE OKAY WITH. YOU DON’T SUDDENLY GET TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND START TRYING TO CONTROL HER NOW THAT YOUR HOLIDAY IS OVER. 

“I’m sorry, Ally, but I’m not going through another night like tonight. If you’re not going to stop working, then I can’t do this.” 

There. He’d said it. We’d both been thinking it, but I hadn’t been brave enough to say it out loud. We were over. 

“Fine. Then I guess we’re done.”

Since we had to be subjected to this shitty relationship, them breaking up is the best thing to happen so far.

“I love you, Ally.” 

My head snapped up and glared at him. That wasn’t part of the deal. I wanted to feel needed, desired. I needed to fuck my loneliness and inadequacy away. I’d never wanted love. 

“Don’t!” I warned. 

“I’m trying to help you,” he murmured between grunts. “Plain old fucking isn’t going to heal you.”

And he thinks that her pimp confessing his love for her is somehow going to make things better?

With the small piece of technical freedom in my pocket, I walked home and let myself inside. Walking in the crisp air had really cleared my mind and I knew what I had to do.

Chapter 21 summary: When Ally gets home, she finally answers her phone. Scott had been calling non-stop the entire 4 hours that she’d been gone; guess he doesn’t know how to take a hint. 

Anyway, they get into a huge fight that eventually ends with him demanding that she stop working. And obviously since she refuses to do that (which was pretty much the only clause that she had in the relationship), he says that this is the end of their relationship. She hangs up, but when he calls back a second later, she chucks it at the wall.

She storms out and goes over to Todd’s apartment. (There’s a random aside about how he hasn’t seen Zach since finding out what Todd and Ally do for a living, but that’s so quickly forgotten about. Plus, Zach hasn’t been thought of since the incident that even I forgot about it.) Then they start to fuck. Todd tells Ally that he loves her, but it doesn’t exactly make things better. 

After Ally finishes, she walks back home. And as she’s going, she thinks about how shitty her life is. Yes, she did choose to be an escort, but it was mainly done after a guy cheated on her. And she’s mainly tired of being broken. 

Chapter 22

“No! This isn’t about Scott. It’s about me. I’m not happy with my life, Jamie. I thought I could fuck my problems away, but it never works. I’m sick of using Todd as my crutch, he deserves better than that, and so do I.”

I have to give this book some credit: at least she’s not changing herself because of a guy. The desire to change actually came from within. 

“You know I’m here to help when you need me. But the way you deal with your pain isn’t good for you. Maybe you should see a therapist or something.” 

That’s rich coming from the guy who encouraged her to become an escort, and then became her pimp. 

 I didn’t need a man. I was creating a new life all on my own. But that didn’t stop me from missing him.

Chapter 22 summary: The next morning, Jamie comes out to find Ally packing up her things and reading through the housing section of the paper. The two of them get into a little fight about Ally’s sudden desire to find greener pastures. Despite Ally’s insistence that she’s doing this for herself, Jamie thinks Scott has something to do with this. 

She calls Zach on a new phone, and then goes to see Todd. He’s kind of upset over his “best girl” leaving him in the lurch, but eventually realises that it’s not like she woke up and said “I don’t want to be an escort anymore!” Her psyche is damaged beyond repair, to the point where Todd even pointed out that she should see a therapist. He hugs her and wishes her the best of luck.

She meets up with her brother later at a restaurant. They don’t really talk about what happened when he’d confronted her. But she says that she’s decided to stop being an escort for her own mental health, and is trying to break away from everything. But in order to do that, she needs a new place. He’s been living with their mom, so the two of them decide to move in together. 

As they finish loading up a moving van, Amy is there and hugs Ally goodbye. Zach is weird around Amy, which makes Ally ask exactly why he’s so weird. He finally confesses that he’d hired an escort, and it happened to be Amy. Whom he’d previously met at a party earlier in the book. Amy told him everything, which is how he found out about Todd and Ally. Ally calls him out on his hypocrisy, since he hired an escort for sex, yet was angry at Todd and Ally for being professional escorts. 

A while later, Ally goes to the gym to cancel her membership, since she doesn’t have a job anymore. The guy there says that if she’s looking for work, he’s looking for new gym employees since half of his team jumped ship to a new branch gym in Philly recently. Ally could start off by being an assistant and cleaning stuff while she undergoes her trainer certification. Ally jumps at the chance, with the idea that she could build a career from this. 

[feuqueerfire]

Midnight Motel Live Blogging

GMMTV really crammed some of my most anticipated 2022 shows to run at this time (Never Let Me Go, Midnight Motel, The Warp Effect), as well as My School President which I was keeping my eyes on. Think I’ll have to watch these the week they end or I’ll never catch up.

Playlist

Ep 1: Welcome to the Business (Jan 9 11)

1-1

ooh cool start

okay actually fuck idkkk maybe i’ll start this later? bc i’m in the middle of the Trials of Apollo series and also Never Let Me Go (ep 5 tmrw), which is 2 different stories already. maybe i’ll watch this on Wednesday and finish before next Tuesday so that i’m not weaving this and NLMG and trials of apollo.

aw the fact that Mote’s always out of luck and “missed the admission quota out of a top uni even though he passed the exam” sucks so fucking bad

oh Mond’s the pimp?

oh fuck Mond’s character is so scary D: I know people said so but rip

pls Mote standing and thinking of the shit possibilities of what could happen if he barges into Mond and Jan’s characters’ rooms 

Oh yeah I forgot that Mote and Kat are love interests right

Aw Kat T.T 

Kat’s so fun and funny

Sun’s making Kat pay her debts to him 

oh, interesting in a good way about Kat mentioning working so hard

1-2

oh it’s Kat’s mom’s debt that she’s paying off 

Sun kys

Mote researching the websites where customers and sellers buy-sell sex work and identifying the pain points to make their app is wholesome

pls Kat’s funny with tryna sell her services to Mote (+ his friend) and also they’re cute

pls Doy being like whyyyy tf did you bring this app to my doorstep again after we met the police and mafia last time

the dynamic between Doy and Kat not really believing Mote vs Mote being a sweet talker and knowing how to appeal to people

ooh a design for the app first this is just like my uni class

girl not pay by crypto 

does Sun have photos?!?! 

oh videos?!?!? is Kat and the client aware that these exist?!?!?!?! gross gross gross die die die

1-3

oof Mote and Kat are so cute. him being like “hmph, your pics on the app are catfishing for sure” and then when she elbows him, he exaggeratedly falls back ah >.<

yes Kat, come to Canada and we can kiss

Linguistics: Mote and Kat use gu-meung with each other. I think Kat and Sun also used gu-meung earlier, which surprised me a bit bc I expected Kat to use Khun w Sun or something but ig the rude pronouns make sense also

Kat saying she wouldn’t do this job if she could choose. the way they’ve been talking about sex work and prostitution is interesting in a casual way where’s a job that’s hard work and like Mote, she’s doing it bc of debt and wouldn’t do it otherwise. it’s not glamorized but the existence of it or sex workers aren’t made to be evil even though the situation sucks here

hope that Mote or Doy know what to do if things go wrong whether it be the guys are dicks like when Sun had to step in or if they refuse to give money or something

oh i see we’re getting to see them handle things like the short hair and wig, and now police are coming in. also i’ve just remembered that someone maybe dies

1-4

I don’t quite get the Big Boong thing. I know Mote pretended that Big Boong’s someone else, some big shot to make the police nervous and let it but who? why’d the cops leave?

wtf was that Kat being shot in the head scene? umm I’m hoping it’s just one of Mote’s fears and not something that comes to pass

I hope they all earn the money and pay off their debts ah

Ep 2: The Investor (Jan 12)

Ep 6 came out and I saw one person write that it’s a satisfying ending, so I’m glad

2-1

ooh they’re talking about how it’d be good if they could just legalize sex work but the police are gonna lose so much money from the bribes to leave prostitution alone that they won’t let it be legal

Mote and Kat are cute, aw

oof Mote and Kat are so non-flirtily flirty ma gudness

agh Kat’s mom was dead I thought but nope, she’s just letting her daughter pay back her loans and also coming for more money

oh noooo Kat’s flashback to how her mom disappeared from their home and so the guys who were looking for her came for Kat instead T.T

oh, this was the very first time Kat saw her mom since that incident? 

hmm Sun telling Kat’s mom to never see her again. I’d assume that Sun’s romantically interested in her in any other show but he treats her like crap, so maybe he just doesn’t want them to plan and run away or smth? 

wait Pom from Gifted, what are you doing here heh. Victor’s name is Pat here 

is Pat gonna be the man she kills? 

damn he really put a collar on her oh I hate this bc he seems so earnest and this could’ve been cute if Kat didn’t fucking hate it and Sun didn’t force here T.T 

2-2

damn, not us getting the backstory on why Pat wants to have power during sex because he has no power in his personal life

oh Pat’s a billionaire, possible investor? also, that unicorn ad thing kinda maybe reminds me of whatever investing ad Mote saw in ep 1 that made him make the other app or something

oh yeah, the camera in the room that Sun has so that he can fucking watch Kat and her clients agh but now catching Kat doing work that he hasn’t assigned her

ahhh that camera was hidden by Kat? it’s for blackmailing Pat?

i love the classical music choices and also Mote thinking of possibilities and them actually showing it as if it’s happening, like Kat getting shot in the head

2-3

“I just wanna tell your you’re definitely worth more than you think?” ah so cute

Mote really is just too good with words, Kat’s right that these sorts of people just aren’t trustworthy bc they know the right things to say “How am I going to trust you, you shard-tongued jerk of a CEO?”

oh Tawi/Jay looks really different when talking with Pat’s wife than when he’s tryna get money out of Mote. Are they different people?

who’s the person that Pat’s wife talked about? Is it Mote?

okay the guy who’s terrorizing Mote isn’t actually Tawi

ah this guy is so annoying either Mote gives him money to keep the business a secret and then can’t pay back his debt in time and gets the hotel taken away OR Mote doesn’t give him money and so he tells the police about the illegal prostitution

2-4

Sun is so fucking scary, threatening June with killing her son if she doesn’t tell him what she and Kat are doing aghhh

omg so stressful. on the one hand Sun’s tryna get Doy to get him into the app by pretending he’s a client, Kat’s with Pat who’s waiting for the pitch + she saw Sun in the lobby, and Mote’s fucking phone somehow fell under the bed

ahh cliffhanger ending rip

Ep 3: Ain’t Them Bodies Cents (Jan 12)

anyway, I know Pat dies for sure because someone on a discord sent a screenshot. that’s as expected bc i’ve barely seen him in gifs or anything

3-1

oof Doy fucked up and gave Sun the invitation and whole time Mote’s like yep I trust Doy to take care of it rip

pls the chaos of Doy talking to Sun and Mote presenting to Pat while Doy and Mote are also communicating via bluetooth

pls Mond is so scary as Sun. girl “I’m the owner of their breath” kalsdj okay

Mote is much smarter than Sean is all I can say lmfao he can lie p well, even though Sun has a suspicion that Mote’s lying

3-2

is Pat drunk or what? Why is he all woozy and falling? Did he take his medication too late or something? Did his wife drug his meds because there was a point made about him taking his med case before leaving

lmfao is Mote and Kat’s kiss gonna be interrupted by Pat dying

oh kinda. i thought we’d hear a gun shot sound but what happened? did he fall and hit his head and die since Pat was so off-balance?

so did Pat succeed in giving the money or no

lol the Kat butchering the body scene

3-3

pls the way Doy had to say he’s not sitting in the back w the corpse

is Sun at Kat’s home? oh fuck he’s throwing a fit

wait omg I kinda knew that Sun knew Kat when he was a child bc I’ve seen a caption bout smth like that with a clip of Sun sitting on that bench but I didn’t know she was close friends with him :0 that sucks so bad

ah shit so Sun wasn’t the one who brought her into sex work but someone else did and he was there and he seemed young

oh Sun’s terrible idk how he transformed into this hardened pimp quickly but then he said he’d pay off Kat’s debt if she transfers to his club

3-4

ofc Pat’s car has a GPS oof and ofc Pat’s wife’s cheating on him with Jay but we could guess that from last ep

not Sun waiting in room 211 with his suitcase of weapons 

so Pat did start the transaction of 20 million?

ooh Kat’s tryna get away to diff city but also she stole Pat’s phone. wonder if there’s tracking on that too 

Ep 4: Disappear Body (Jan 13)

4-1

Joy’s tryna get Kat to fess up or something bc of her threatened child, right?

k the current things at play is that Kat wants to access Pat’s crypto and leave for Canada, Joy wants to trick Kat possibly, Sun has come to find Kat and is threatening Mote, Jay is tracking Pat’s car and has been lead to the motel, also the debt collector mans that’s been bothering Mote wants his money as well for protection of Takkrub

oh Jay’s seeing Sun being weird with Mote in the hallway on the CCTV lmfao he can just walk in there all willy nilly. is the room Mote and Sun are in also viewable with cctv

lol I wonder if Jay will view Sun as the thread instead of Mote now and have his suspicion on him as a possible reason for Pat going missing? who knows. also i wanna know if Jay knows that Pat’s dead or not? has he searched the inside of the car? seems like no

4-2

bruv, Mote really got Sun, Jay, and the debt collector guy all in the same room wanting something from him gbye and gl “shit, this is like a fan meeting. Wait no they’re all after me.”

plsss the three of them all being like eyeee should be the one talking to Mote first, yall get out

pls the way Sun smiled and gestured and moved away as soon as the knife appeared

oh Jay killed the debt collector mans lmfao Mote’s gulping and now Jay has a gun

oh debt collected mans was called Big Off

lmfao Mote being like “he’s not my friend” and Jay being like “oh? he didn’t come to save you?”

pls it’s killing me the way Jay has to explain like “this is not an empty thread na krub. If you don’t tell the truth, I’ll kill both of you. Na?”

plssssss the arguments between Sun and Mote are so funny and Jay telling them to shut up each time like now Mote realizing Sun has a camera in Kat’s usual room

wait if the footage is there, why didn’t they show Pat falling and hitting his head agh

oh damn okay so the body wasn’t in the car even though that was the original plan. did Kat do something with it?

4-3

fuckk i’m so mad I had so many thoughts for parts 3 and 4 but it refreshed and all of it got deleted kms

I thought it was fun when in part 4 Mote started acting clever and threatening again after seeming to be bumbling and foolish in the first 3 parts. 

I liked the chips and card game fantasy scene. The crew in MDL seems fairly inexperienced but they’re doing well so far

Ep 5: Blast From The Past (Jan 14)

5-1

Sun how’d you turn out like this agh

byeee they dismembered Big Off

 neo appearance !

Police officer Jay sued an elite man who attacked a bus driver but the elite man got him fired?

sdlkfhj the neolouis sex noises

oof, Kat’s found out that Sun’s getting money from Kat’s mom, which is money that Kat earned from Sun

oh my fucking god, I need to kill Sun. I hope Kat kills Sun

Sun remembering Kat saving him from those guys and so finally kinda snapping out of (sexually, physically) assaulting her

5-2

this young kids Kat and Sun backstory is making me so fucking sad because they used to be friends

noooo the promise :< “when we grow up, we won’t become the kind of adults we hate”

Sun realizing he’s become the kind of adult he hated

pls Doy and texting is just aldskfj as soon as Jay gets the orders to kill/deal with the trio, he texts Mote’s phone (which Jay has currently and also doesn’t it have a password) that he can’t find it (the body) anywhere in the hotel lmfao. prev it was the thing with Sun coming while they were tryna show Pat the pitch

Kat’s a whole lot, she really is confessing? playing with Mote? in that bathroom and kissing him instead of admitting she ran away for a brief period and also stole the phone hoping for the crypto money

I wonder if Mote believes her after seeing her pretend with Pat bc I don’t think I believe her actions in that bathroom

5-3 and 5-4

Sun really tryna just make a deal with everyone huh? giving the bullet to Jay and saying to kill only Mote (also the ice cooler thing Jay’s getting the ice from is freaking me out bc at first I don’t think I registered that they hid him in the ice cooler but now that I know... hm is he in there). Telling Mote that he wants to invest in Takkrub

What did the uncle and aunt wanna tell Mote before Jay came in? Were they the ones who his the body? Like if it isn’t any of the captured trio, Doy was a possibility but then he didn’t show up for like 2 eps in the middle so I started thinking he’s less of a possibility? Or is he more of one because why did he also disappear for a bit? And it could also be uncle and aunt who someone calmly and quietly discovered and hit the body

pls I love the fantasy situations Mote goes through so much, like the convo with dead ghost Pat

naurrr flashing back to young Kat and Sun saying they’d protect each other as adult Kat tells Sun to get out of her life

oh Pat’s in the ice cooler the way they made it seem. so the one that they hit the body in had the :) sticker and then that got carted out and had more ice put in it and put out front and the new ice cooler that’s in the place of the old ice cooler doesn’t have that sticker

So would his uncle and aunt do that? The mover also deleted the CCTV footage, would they be able to do that? Doy was the one who deleted the previous CCTV footage, so would it be him? Why?

also Mote and Sun and stuff getting ice from the cooler while underneath was Pat’s body reminds me of To Sir, With Love where the maids were all having fun collecting that mushroom, whole time there’s Don’s dead body underneath

Ep 6: All Or Nothing (Jan 14)

6-1

So I guess it really was his aunt and uncle who moved the body

they let Sun walk out of the room?

6-2

did Sun take one pill and poison the fish? or what?

or is Sun stealing the meds pill box from Kat?

Sun you backstabbing bitch, him being like “we have our bullets for that” and whole time he doesn’t even have the bullet. he has me on edge fr bc I can’t tell if he’s just double-crossing Mote and Kat or double double-crossing Jay

lol the meds box is filled with stone, flashbacks to Squid Game Ep 6

oh so Sun did give Jay a defect bullet? but Jay told June to bring another gun my dudes

everyone’s got stuff under their sleeve, like Kat with Pat’s phone and Mote with the Takkrub upload of the evidence

also i don’t think their evidence is actually enough for much (like lol they themselves could’ve filled the box with poisoned pills afterwards to frame June) but I’m ignoring that

6-3

I don’t get the [A gift from Big Off] and “say hello to my little friend

oh Jay fr shot the uncle on the shoulder 

bruv, I was thinking of Jay falling off the roof maybe but I didn’t think they’d do it like that lmfao

the villains really do wait to shoot until the uncle’s there or until Sun’s covering Kat huh lmfao

oh Sun is so psychologically fucked. he really is like if I die then Kat dies with me

oh the friendship bracelets were from the promise of not becoming like the adults they hated

okayyy Kat didn’t know that Sun was the same kid as before. At first I thought she did but then it was like hm but yeah she’s asked him “Are you Arthit?”

please Mond’s doing so good as Sun. the way he’s like sorry for breaking my promise and handing back the bracelet and telling her live and be better for him as he lays there dying. It goes with his character arc that he dies here because he’s too irredeemable to continue with the gang or to continue inflicting pain with his pimping but because of his backstory and helping the gang thus far, he’s also not someone who we see as an one-note evil man anymore. too evil to not die but the audience doesn’t wanna see him go down in a horrifying grotesque way either

6-4

plssss Kat using Pat’s corpse for the face ID of his crypto wallet (the reason she came back p much)

girl shut up who is Yudo, we have Tony for Doy. actually Doy can be polyam, I’d like that. or a cheater, I’ll forgive that in preperation for Moonlight Chicken

Very pretty wrapped bow for the ending.

The last ep was good but not great, I don’t think they were super clever with their action or wrap-up, although it was still pretty fun. Also no like great twist in the final ep, which is fine but nothing about the final ep really makes it stand out. 

The acting was great, the script was comprehensible and well-paced, the production is good, featured sex work without villainizing the workers or the work itself. I loved Mote’s little fantasies of possible scenarios or of imagining an interaction in a different way (the card game with June, convo with dead Pat). I’m impressed by the creative team behind it. 

I won’t think about this much after today I don’t think but I liked this little show.

Rating: 6.5/10

Mock Trailer

The actual show ended up being pretty much the same as that mock trailer, guess they’ve had the script done for a while. It was snappy but gave away a lot, so I’m glad I hadn’t watched most of it before watching the show (or if I had, it must’ve been like 10 months ago and I completely forgot it because only the first like 15 seconds seemed familiar and I knew the concept before going in).

Official Trailer

Once again, reveals a lot but is slightly better created than the OG, which is expected.

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Week 10

My last final week in The Gambia has been and gone... And this might be my quickest weekly rundown yet!

On Monday morning, M arrived home after a month overseas, and I was so happy to see her! She was also very happy to see me and we talked for a good few hours. It was so nice! In some ways it was like she’d never left, but also I have missed her a lot. On Tuesday I went to the government shelter and hung out with the kids and babies. There were a few teenagers so I talked to them for awhile and kicked a ball around with the primary school age kids, before spending a few hours with the babies. It’s aways my favourite day of the work week, going to the shelter...

On Wednesday I went to the Ministry of Social Welfare to talk about some of the children in the government shelter, which was very interesting. On Thursday M took me to see her new compound that she is building. It is very far away, quite close to the airport actually. It was fascinating to see the way they do building over here, as it is quite different from NZ! Their compound is stuck in the stage where they are waiting for the roof, as they don’t have enough money yet, then once the roof is on they can complete the rest. If I ever come back to The Gambia, it will look very different I’m sure!

After seeing her compound, we went to visit the trafficked girls who had been kicked out of the government shelter the previous week. It was so nice to see them, as always, yet it was also sad hearing about life for them now. They are staying in a small room with one mattress for all five girls. Unfortunately they are back working in the sex trade at night, prostituting themselves for money... This is the sad reality for many sex trafficking victims, as they struggle to earn money to survive or go home, so they end up back in the trade, stuck in a cycle they don’t want to be in. They explained to us that they don’t want to do this work, but they don’t see any other way out. M and I tried talking to them about other job options, but it is hard as they could make the same amount in one night on street, as they could a whole month in a normal job... The only positive is that they are now in charge of themselves, no longer working for a pimp or madam... But it is still devastating.

It has been interesting following these girls journey from when we met them in the shelter a few months ago, just days after they had been rescued from their traffickers, all the way through to now when they have been kicked out of the government shelter and are now back working on the streets... It has definitely opened my eyes to the complexity of the issue and just how important restoration and ongoing support is for these victims. One girl in particular looked very down when we visited them, and you could just tell that she feels broken and like there’s no way out. We prayed with them and encouraged them to keep trusting in Him, that He will make a way, but that they also need to do their part and try to find jobs where they won’t feel their souls are being crushed and dignity taken away... It was definitely hard to say goodbye to them...

On Friday, Antonia and I visited our American friend Joan to chat for a bit, then we went to a cafe for smoothies and to keep chatting! The smoothies were soooooo yum, I haven’t had a decent smoothie like that in months, it was incredible. Antonia and I had a great time just hanging out and chatting. I will miss her so very much, as she has been my closest friend during my time here. She is always understanding, supportive and encouraging, the best gift God has given me during my time here. After our time in the cafe, we went to church for a worship night, before heading home. That night my good friends Max and Amy were getting married back home in NZ, so I stayed up until 2am watching the livestream. It was sad not to be able to be there, but it was amazing how I could watch it live online! Technology is so cool!

After a few hours of sleep, I woke up and video called into the end of the wedding reception, and was able to say a quick hello and congratulations to the bride and groom, as well as a few friends. It was so lovely to see everyone’s smiling faces who I have missed so much. Not long to go now until I see them all again! I then spent all of Saturday at the beach with the Kursawes, Antonia and another family. I was so tired from watching the wedding that I ended up just lying under the shade most of the day, unsuccessfully trying to sleep! It was nice just to relax and watch the kids play in the waves. I will miss the Kursawes a lot too, they have brought so much joy into my time here and brought me on so many awesome adventures. I am so grateful for them.

On Sunday I had my final day at church, which was a bit sad but overall nice. I got up and shared a brief testimony of how God has been faithful and brought me through my time in The Gambia. That I have learnt so much about myself and Him through it all. After my testimony they prayed for me which was really nice. After church the pastors wished me well and thanked me for joining them for the last few months, so it was nice to get a bit of a send off from my church here. Ironically, the final song we sung was Oceans, which was also the final song we sung at my church back home before I left. Coincidence... I think not...

After church, Antonia and I went to the Kursawes for lunch, then we all chatted for a bit which was nice. It was good to chat about some of the struggles going on back home and to receive understanding and encouragement from them. Later in the afternoon we went to Bakau where I live and I showed them around the fish beach and craft market. It was great just to wander around. I saw so many cool things I’d love to buy, however I unfortunately don’t have much room in my bag as I only have carry on! Then we went to a restaurant for dinner near the beach which was beautiful. I had a virgin pina colada which is my favourite drink that I only get every few years, so that was quite the treat! 

Overall it was a great final week and weekend. I still have a few days to go this week, but the farewells have already begun. Part of me is sad to leave as I am feeling pretty comfortable now and into my routines, however I am mainly sad about leaving the people and friends I have made here. But, I am also very excited to get home and catch up with family and close friends, particular my siblings. I haven’t seen my brother and his partner since June, and I haven’t seen my sister and her boyfriend since July. And my sister is having a baby reeeeally soon, which I’m so excited about! I hope I get to see her and hang out for a few days before the baby comes and life changes forever!