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#(idk where they come from but yeah-)
thottybrucewayne · 20 days
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I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.
#thotty speaks#thotty rants#I was thinking about that Christine chan post and its like yeah yall really don't know how bad it got for her before she did what she did#It reminded me of that thing on tiktok where people take 'cringy' cosplayers videos (most of whom are literal children) and put racist or#bigoted text over it then reupload it to call them out then the og creator gets a flood of harassment mostly from people who hated them for#the crime of being weird on the internet but now they can use 'oh but they're a bigot!' as an excuse to tear them down until they come out#and say 'hey i didn't say this someone stole my shit' and nobody takes their vids down nor apologizes because they didn't fuck with them#anyway so wash rinse repeat#idk I just wish that people had the same smoke for people they actually like#mostly cause I'm tired of being accused of 'switching up' every time I cut people off or stop fuckin with an artist#like this is what we should be doing!!!! ACG ANYBODY CAN GET IT!#It should be smoke for ANYONE who does harm every your fave people!#otherwise you create this world where taking people to task for the harm they've done is less about the harm#and more about justifying our own actions#anyway keep that same energy across the board that's all I'm saying#cause if it comes out tomorrow that somebody close to me did some fucked up shit I'm out of there period#aint no talkin bout shit and that's on me growing up as a child told that certain grown folks can't be alone with me#but they allowed in my house...#Idk about yall but i'm ending that generational curse with me
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pizzaqueen · 7 months
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Eddie calls Steve up and he’s like “Steve! I need you to come over ASAP! I’m in a real pickle!” So, Steve goes over and finds Eddie in a giant pickle costume, laughing his ass off
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inkskinned · 2 years
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hey it's nanowrimo. i have tips bc i've done it about 34 times.
Don't edit. Ever. Stop it. If you just decide to start a new project half thru this one with all new characters, no problem. pick up and keep writing as if you'd already written the first half of that.
"but i spelled it wrong" whatever. "but the grammar" whatever. make it exist first. no time for sense. think like you're working on a typewriter. no backspace. only forward go.
Don't re-read further than a paragraph or two backwards. "did i mention the gun before?" listen - it doesn't matter. if you need there to be a gun there, the gun is there. put it back in once you finish the book.
"i forgot the specifics of X thing i already wrote" whatever. change it, make a note/comment to figure it out later, and just write what makes sense for the moment. "no raquel it's legit the characters name and origin" idc that character is now reborn as Claudius from Elsewhere. it's fine.
only you see your mistakes. nobody else knows. one of the ways writing and dance overlap - only you know the choreography. nobody else will know if you miss a step, so just keep dancing and pretend you meant to do it like that.
it's an illusion that you need to write linearly - from point A to point B to point C. Nah; that's just timeline propaganda. I've written a LOT of books out of order and just reordered them once i've finished. if you have a scene you'd LOVE to write but can't get there yet because of plot, just fuckin write the scene. I've always found its easier to establish "point F" "point J" and "Point A" and then wiggle my way between those scenes.
write what you WANT to write. 230 pages of smut? of well-researched discussion on bread? whatever. the point is to strengthen muscles however you can.
if you miss a day, a week, whatever. not the end of the world. we all have dry days. also time is a myth so u can do this challenge whenever u want.
as soon as you try to write for a specific audience, you kill your voice. you are writing for yourself. stop thinking about how people will take ur book. it don't matter. what matter is u, enjoying writing. i luv u.
play to your strengths. i have characters talk so much because i don't know how to write a plot if it kills me but i'm really good at dialogue so.
i love a flight of fancy. write a poem in there. shift tactics and write in code. keep it fun for yourself.
see what happens if you shift something major about ur main characters - gender, wealth, superpowers. or if you change point-of-view. or if you kill everyone in a big explosion. do NOT edit anything before this or after it. often these little weird one-off exercises teach me what interests me about what i'm working on. it is never what i thought. plus it is a fun way to add like 1k words.
stretch.
it's for fun and for practice. stop doing that project if it's giving you anxiety. once my nano was literally 50k words of half-started stories. just things i tried and tried and tried and wasn't able to flesh out. oops. but i am now 50k words of a better writer.
add dragons?
read books/listen to books on tape/etc. people often make the mistake of "buckling down" to just write. you need inspiration. you need to like. fill up on words. you need to remember how it feels to lose yourself in a story.
i don't have the time or space to really talk about this in this post but a lot of creative people turn to drugs/alcohol because it can help you be more creative. this is harmful, and walking a blade that only cuts deep. if you notice you and your loved ones are turning more to substances, please know i love you and i hope you are able to get help soon. i feel like this almost never gets mentioned because it's kind of a hazy underbelly to art. you are always more important than the work.
on that note. drink your fukin. water.
don't talk about a story until you've finished it. once you tell the story, it exists already, and isn't about discovery. i usually have a very canned "haha we'll see" response.
grapes :) tasty snack.
i love you be free.
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luck-of-the-drawings · 4 months
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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astrobei · 1 year
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for @quinnick: kiss prompt #4 - lips barely touching
The car is out of gas. Will is about ten seconds away from maybe-dying (again). Mike Wheeler has been abnormally quiet today.
At least of late, one of those things is more abnormal than the others. 
The car is always out of gas. Will doesn’t know when the last time they’d filled it up was, but he does know that it’s not his problem trying to figure it out. That’s Hopper’s deal. Or his mom’s, maybe. Or Nancy’s, or Jonathan’s, or–
Whatever! The point is that the car is out of gas, Mike and Will are stranded at the currently closed general store, and they’re probably about to die.
Again.
“Mike,” Will tries, for maybe the hundredth time. “It’s not your fault, okay, it could’ve happened to anyone–”
“Yeah,” Mike grumbles miserably, as they round the corner, from aisle four – cleaning supplies and household items – into aisle five – canned goods. Most of the shelves are empty, turned over. Mike picks up a can of pickled green beans, pulls a face, and puts it back on the shelf. “But it didn’t happen to anyone. It happened to me.”
Will takes a long, deep breath in through his nose. God forbid Mike Wheeler ever let anything go. “You didn’t know,” he huffs anyway. “It’s not your fault.” The store is dark, which is great for being able to roll your eyes without Mike seeing. Will’s flashlight sputters, briefly, the bright circle of light flickering in and out of view. He smacks it against his palm once, twice, and it steadies. “Seriously,” Will adds, as Mike slows to a stop in front of him. “Stop beating yourself up. So we have to wait for a ride. Big deal.”
Mike turns around to face him. His expression is mostly unreadable in the dark, but Will’s flashlight catches the edge of it – worried, a little guilty. “Yeah,” Mike says softly. “Except there are things everywhere and waiting for a ride is just– we’re sitting ducks here, okay,” Mike frowns. “I don’t like it. It feels like tempting fate.”
“Well, the simple fact of my existence feels like tempting fate sometimes,” Will jokes. It works, for a split second – Mike’s furrowed brows smooth out into something halfway amused, and he makes a noise that might be a laugh.
“Not funny,” Mike says anyway. His lips twitch.
“You laughed!” Will insists, smiling. His voice carries down through the hallway in a vibrant echo. “I know you did!”
“Shut up,” Mike whispers, looking away. “Would it kill you to keep your voice down?”
It might. Somewhere in the back of Will’s mind, he’s vaguely aware that they’re not safe here, out in the open, and that the whole point of them coming inside instead of waiting in the parking lot was to hunker down until Jonathan and Nancy could get another car here to pick them up. And also, preferably, get some gas.
Somewhere significantly closer in Will’s mind, though, is the knowledge that this is the most Mike has said – and the closest he’s come to laughing – since the car had stalled on the way from the cabin to the general store ten minutes ago, and Mike had just barely had time to pull into the abandoned parking lot before it had stopped altogether. He knows Mike doesn’t like this – being caught off-guard, out in the open. Even minute changes in the plan – which you’d think they’d all be more prepared for, considering the way things have been going lately – get Mike a little keyed up.
And the sorry, borderline pathetic part is this: despite it all, despite the ever-present threat of danger, and the impending sense of doom that’s been hanging over their heads for what seems like forever, Will feels vaguely pleased with himself anyway, seeing Mike hold back a smile instead of forcing one on his face.
So yeah, it might kill him, if he kept his voice down. That’s okay. Will thinks it would be worth it, sometimes – the danger and the doom and everything else – to hear Mike laugh.
God, what’s wrong with him? That’s embarrassing. That’s so embarrassing.
He shakes the thought off. “Whatever,” Will says instead, praying the cover of darkness is hiding the blush that’s rapidly rising to his cheeks. He angles  the flashlight away from them anyway, just in case, and Mike’s face falls back into silhouette. “You know I’m right. You’re doomed just by being here with me.”
Mike shakes his head. “You know I don’t think of you like that.”
Will frowns. “Like what?”
“Like– like a bad luck charm,” Mike waves his hands around. “Or whatever.”
“I didn’t say bad luck charm,” Will exclaims. “Ouch! Stop putting words into my mouth.”
Mike grins. “Would you rather have, uh,” he picks up the nearest can to him, something small and vaguely gray, “tinned sardines in your mouth? Tinned sardines in water? Oh, gross. Never mind, actually.”
“I would rather not,” Will decides, even though the shelves are so bare that they might have to suck it up and take home the tinned sardines in water after all. “Would you like some, uh. Tuna?”
“I guess we know why there’s so much fish,” Mike sighs, leaning heavily against an empty shelf. “Nobody wanted it.”
“You mean the ten people outside of our circle of friends that are still left in Hawkins? Yeah,” Will scoffs, then sets the can back down with a soft clink. “I guess not.”
Neither of them say anything for a moment. It’s quiet in the store, the room dark and lit faintly by Will’s flashlight and the display in the corner. It lights Mike up a faint blue, catches the edges of his jaw and where his hair is curling softly over the hood of his jacket. 
Will’s flashlight sputters again. 
When it comes back on this time, it’s more faint than it was before. It’s dark in here, Will realizes, a bit belatedly. Like, really dark.
He takes a deep breath and shuffles closer to Mike, just a little, like the shape of his body all leaned against the empty shelves is a grounding force. Mike gives him a look that Will can’t quite decipher in the dark.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Will breathes out. The proximity is helping, a little. “Just– waiting for our ride.”
Mike leans in a bit closer too, places an arm under Will’s elbow. It’s a light touch, nothing forceful, but the semblance of support is there. “You sure? You look a little pale.”
Sometimes, Will hates how well Mike knows him. He doesn’t get antsy in the same way Mike does in situations like these, but he’d be lying if he said they didn’t affect him at all. It should be expected by now, the automatic fight or flight. 
For some cruel reason, it still isn’t. “You can’t even see me,” he says, but lets himself lean into the touch anyway.
“I can see enough,” Mike says easily. “Do you want to sit down?”
Will shakes his head. The only thing worse than waiting out in the open is sitting out in the open. At least when you’re standing, you can run. “No. I’m fine.”
Will can’t see Mike either, but he’d be willing to bet real money – that he doesn’t have – that he can tell exactly what Mike’s expression looks like. The pause grows, swells and swells and swells, until Will is sure Mike is going to say something–
There’s a clattering outside.
Instantly, Mike’s hand tightens its grip on Will’s elbow. “Did you hear that?”
“Yes,” Will hisses, twisting around to try and see through the windows. “Of course I heard that, Mike.”
“Do you think that’s–”
“No idea,” Will whispers. With no small amount of reluctance, he tugs his arm out of Mike’s grip. He misses the warmth of it almost instantaneously, and the tugging in his stomach is only amplified by the way Mike automatically leans in behind him, places a hand on his back to replace the absent touch, like it was never gone at all. Will swallows, and flicks the flashlight off. “Now be quiet.”
“The windows are boarded up,” Mike says, decidedly not being quiet. Will wonders where the Mike Wheeler of fifteen minutes ago went – the one that was sulking and fidgeting in silence the whole way down the first aid aisle. “They’re boarded up, so nothing can get in. Right?”
“We got in,” Will points out, which Mike seems to realize at approximately the same second he does. It’s getting a little hard to think, with Mike so close to him.
Will really wishes Mike would pull his hand away.
“Right,” Mike whispers, breath ghosting gently over the back of Will’s neck. “Okay. That’s fine. That’s fine.”
Fine, Will thinks. That’s one word for it.
Another clattering. It’s closer this time.
Will freezes.
Jonathan and Nancy are probably about ten minutes out. Twenty if they had to go back to the Wheelers’ for the other car. So they’d probably be fine if they stuck it out here, because the chance of something happening across them now, in the brief period of time where they’re stuck without a ride, in a building equipped with close to nothing that could help, is small.
Small, but not nonexistent.
Will isn’t really feeling inclined to take that chance. “Come on,” he says, then spins on his heel, grabbing Mike’s hand and tugging him in the opposite direction. “Come with me.”
Mike follows easily, stumbling slightly with the sudden movement. “Wh– where are we going?”
“Just come on,” Will says, then tugs Mike around to the back of the store. He yanks open a door, and shoves him inside. “Get in.”
“Whoa,” Mike says, as Will tumbles in behind him. “Will, what–”
“Would it kill you to be quiet?”
“Sorry,” Mike says, then does, at last, fall silent.
Immediately, Will wishes he hadn’t said that. It’s dark in here – even darker than out in the front of the store – and the only noise is the faint hum of a generator, somewhere behind the walls. It’s grating and stilted. Will wonders when the last time it had been repaired was.
Plus, it’s really–
It’s really fucking dark in here.
Will lets out a long, slow exhale, and reaches out to feel for the wall beside him. His palm comes into contact with chipped paint and he follows the shape of it down, lowering himself onto the ground.
“Will?” Mike says, and Will is in half a mind to say that thing about being quiet again, but–
It’s dark. It’s really dark.
“Yeah,” he says, barely audible even to himself over the faint hum of the generator, and the louder hum – demanding, prominent, persistent – of his blood rushing through his ears. “I just– sitting. I’m sitting.”
There had at least been some light out in the front, but this storage closet might as well be a void. It smells vaguely of dust, something stale and unknown and probably untouched for who-knows-how-long. Will takes another deep breath in.
“Where?” Mike asks. “I don’t want to step on you.”
Will cracks a smile. “Here,” he says, and holds a hand up in the air. “Right here.”
There’s a quiet shuffling sound as Mike moves closer, and then Will feels fingertips brushing against his. Mike latches on immediately, gripping tighter onto his hand and sits down in front of him. 
Will still can’t see anything – he can’t see anything – but he can feel Mike’s presence like it’s a tangible thing.
Mike could let go of Will’s hand now. Now that he’s found him.
He doesn’t, though.
“Hey,” Mike says, then there’s another faint shuffling noise. “Where are we?”
“Storage closet.”
“Huh. How did you know it was here?”
Will cracks another smile, despite himself. “My mom worked here, remember? For, like, years.”
“Right,” Mike laughs, and then he’s moving closer, knees bumping against knees in the dark. “I forgot. It doesn’t feel like the same place.”
“Tell me about it,” Will sighs. He’s probably breathing in dust and debris and soot and all sorts of gross stuff, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He presses his knees against Mike’s a little harder, just because he can.
“I remember,” Mike starts, readjusting his grip on Will’s hand – fingers interlocked, a firmer grip – “she’d give me free candy from the front counter. Whenever I came in with my parents, I mean. My mom was so confused about why I kept asking to tag along to Melvald’s with her.”
“That’s not fair,” Will laughs. “She never let me have any candy.”
“You were a menace all hopped up on sugar,” Mike points out. “I knew how to behave myself.”
That’s a damn lie, and they both know it. “Liar,” Will says quietly, leaning his head back against the wall. “You’re such a liar.”
“Maybe so,” Mike hums. “But I’m still the one who got free candy, so–”
“Mike!” Will shoves lightly at his knee, and Mike’s answering laugh fills the small space instantaneously. It’s loud – too loud, because they’re supposed to be hiding, goddamnit – but the nagging little voice at the back of Will’s head is vanquished almost as quickly as it came. “Shut up.”
Mike, as always, ignores him. “Why don’t we turn on a light?”
“The fuse is probably blown,” Will responds. “If there’s even a light in this stupid closet.”
“I mean this, idiot,” Mike says, and then clicks the flashlight back on. The batteries must be dying, because it flickers to life weakly, steadying out into a dim yellow-white. “Obviously.”
“Don’t waste the batteries,” Will says at once, trying to grab for it. “Come on, Mike–”
“Jonathan and Nancy will be here any minute and then we can go put in new batteries,” Mike says, holding it easily out of reach. “No point sitting in the dark, right?”
“Mike,” Will tries to protest, but it’s useless. Mike’s made up his mind.
Slowly, and a little far away, Will realizes what Mike is trying to do. He’s not being subtle about it, but subtlety has never been Mike Wheeler’s strong suit. He’s always been exuberant, quick and spontaneous with his actions, and this is no different. Sitting up close, closer than would be strictly necessary in any other situation. Turning the light on, despite the dying batteries. Telling Will about coming here as a kid, all those years ago. Making him laugh. Diffusing the tension.
Jesus, and he’s still holding Will’s hand.
A wave of affection washes over him, sudden and overwhelming enough for Will to feel borderline nauseous.
This isn’t fair. This isn’t fair. Mike can’t just sit here and touch their knees together and hold Will’s hand, and–
“Look,” Mike is saying, and then he’s holding the flashlight under his chin and grinning. “Don’t I look freaky?”
In all honesty, Mike looks fucking hilarious. The direct light casts long shadows across the dips of his cheekbones, the shapes of his eyelashes distorting wildly as he blinks. “No,” Will snorts, rolling his eyes. “You look ridiculous.”
“Really?” Mike grins, in a way that means he knows just how ridiculous he looks. “Not even a little?” He waggles his eyebrows, and the resulting effect is so comical that Will can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him, sharp and sudden and real.
“Mike,” he chides, for the millionth time. “You’re going to kill the battery.”
Mike looks way too pleased with himself. “Worth it,” he says anyway, as he sets the flashlight down. It evens out the sharp angles of his face, now that it’s farther away, lights his cheeks and nose and eyes up into something softer, more open.
Something about the steadiness of Mike’s expression is brighter than any source of light. Suddenly, it’s too much. Suddenly, it’s blinding. 
God. He’s so screwed.  “For what?”
“Getting you to laugh,” Mike says, simple and easy, like he’s reciting times tables instead of proceeding to turn Will’s entire world upside down on its pathetic little axis.
Will feels his lungs stutter on his next inhale. He looks away. “Don’t do that.”
The gleeful expression falters on Mike’s face. “Don’t do what?”
“Don’t,” Will says, “don’t– you’re being so– so–”
Mike looks caught somewhere between confusion and amusement. “So what?”
“So,” Will tries again, and then Mike moves closer, and the difficulty of articulating a halfway decent sentence immediately increases tenfold. “So.”
“So,” Mike echoes, shifting so the side of his thigh is pressed up against the side of Will’s. He’s being slowly backed into the corner, but the thought isn’t terrifying like it might have been five minutes ago. Suddenly, Will is overwhelmed in a completely new way. “So what?”
“Nice to me,” Will gets out. “Stop being so nice to me.”
Mike pauses, then says, incredulously and half-laughing– “What? Why?”
Bad choice of words. “You heard me,” Will says anyway, because he’s nothing if not stubborn. “You’re being too nice.”
“I should hope so,” Mike says. “I mean, you’re my friend.”
Maybe Will is imagining it, but the sentence feels unfinished. Like there’s a second half to it that Mike is keeping for himself: You’re my friend – right?
The obvious answer here is that yes, Mike is his friend. But that answer feels unfinished too, like a lie by omission. Will tries to imagine it, doing these things with anyone else – what it would be like if Dustin was holding his hand, or if it were Lucas sitting next to him this close.
The conclusion he comes to, almost immediately, is that it would be weird.
It would be really fucking weird.
That feels like– something. An admission, maybe. Because the fact of the matter is that things with Mike have always been like this, and they’ve never been like this with anyone else, and Will doesn’t think they can be like this with anyone else without it being the most unsettling thing that’s ever happened to him.
The silence, he realizes, has gone on just a second too long.
“Yeah,” he blurts out at last. “Yeah. Obviously.”
Something settles over Mike’s face. “Will–”
“Forget I said anything,” Will backpedals, a little bit desperate. “Never mind. Be as nice to me as you want.”
Mike bites down on his lower lip. It looks like he’s holding back a smile. “As nice as I want?”
Oh, no.
“Sure,” Will tries. “Do your worst.”
Mike lets out a shaky exhale. He presses in further, leans in closer until their shoulders are almost touching. “How about this?”
“That’s not nice,” Will says weakly. “That’s just an invasion of personal space.”
“Seems pretty nice to me,” Mike mutters under his breath.
Will inhales sharply. “Mike.”
“What?”
“What are you– doing,” Will whispers, stumbling over his words, just slightly, as Mike places a hand on his arm.
Mike’s gaze does not waver. “Is this okay?”
Is it okay? Will thinks his brain might be halfway to leaking out through his ears. This is–
This is–
“Yeah,” he hears himself say. “Yeah. Great.”
“Okay,” Mike whispers. He’s so close now that Will could count all the freckles spattered across his nose, if he wanted to. He could, and the thought is dizzying, dizzying – suddenly, it’s not the claustrophobia that’s making him feel like this. It can’t be, because Mike is in front of him, and he’s so close that Will could just lean forward and–
He could just–
“Mike.” And maybe he’s a bit of a broken record, but he can’t come up with any words other than his name. He clutches at Mike’s knee and meets his gaze and prays – to whatever deity allowed him to get trapped in a storage closet with Mike Wheeler two inches away from his face – that Mike Wheeler will find the courage in him somewhere to close the fucking gap.
He doesn’t, though, which is a sign that the universe must be majorly fucking with him. Not yet, anyway. Not anywhere near as fast as Will needs it to be – if this is what he thinks it is, it’s nowhere near fast enough.
In actuality, what it is is excruciating – the way Will’s heart is beating so loud that he’s sure Mike can hear it, in the proximity. The slow circles Mike is tracing over his other hand – the hand that he’s still holding. He’s so close that Will can discern the warmth emanating off him, the familiar scent of soap, can feel Mike’s eyes trained steadily on his mouth, and yet–
Either Mike is actually moving at a speed of one nanosecond per minute, or time has slowed to a near-stop around them. Mike’s grip on his hand is agonizing, caustic in all the places where they’re touching, each slow circle of Mike’s thumb against his wrist driving him slowly and steadily out of his mind. Do it, Will thinks, like maybe if he thinks it loud enough, Mike will be able to hear him. Do it, do it, do it.
Mike’s lips touch his.
The world stops moving.
It must, anyway. Or maybe it’s just that Will doesn’t think he’s breathing anymore – he doesn’t know if he can find it in him to remember how. All he’s aware of is this: Mike’s hands on his arm, his wrist. Mike’s leg under his own palm, warm and steady and pressed up against him in a smooth, unyielding line. The pressure of the wall behind him, the strands of Mike’s hair brushing against his face, and Mike’s lips – gentle, gentle, gentle, and nowhere near enough.
It’s like Mike is waiting for something. Waiting for Will, maybe.
God, okay.
Fuck it, Will thinks, from somewhere far off in his own head. Fuck it. Fuck this. 
“Will,” Mike whispers, pulling back a precious few millimeters, and that’s it. That’s all Will can take.
Will lifts his hand off Mike’s leg, raises it to his wrist and tugs. Mike topples into him with a small gasp, Will falls backwards into the wall, and then they’re kissing.
God. Okay.
Mike steadies himself quickly, braces a hand on the wall behind them and leans in, firm and enthusiastic. His hand, Will notices, faintly and with no small amount of affection, is shaking. Just slightly. Will’s trapped between them again – Mike and the wall – but this time he can’t find it in himself to care even the slightest bit. As if there’s anywhere he’d want to go that wasn’t here, as if he’d want to be somewhere without Mike’s hand carding through his hair, or without his lips moving softly against Will’s own, or the noise he makes when Will presses forward, too fast, too eager, too betrayed by his own fluttering pulse – something like a laugh, trapped deep in his chest.
Suddenly, it’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s–
“Mike? Will?”
Shit.
In a flash, Mike pulls away, wide-eyed and pink-cheeked and breathing like he’s just run a marathon.
Shit.
“Yeah,” Mike calls, voice cracking just slightly on the syllable. “We’re in here!”
Shit.
“So,” Will says, aiming for nonchalance. He fails immediately. His voice cracks too. Great. “That–”
Don’t freak out, he thinks. Please don’t freak out.
Mike, to his credit, is not freaking out.
“Yeah,” Mike says, voice a little high-pitched but surprisingly even. He clears his throat. “Um. Yeah. You were–”
“Yeah,” Will finishes, rather lamely. He’s grinning like an idiot. He doesn’t even need to look at himself to tell. His expression is mirrored, perfectly, flawlessly, brilliantly, on Mike’s own face.
The closet door gets thrown open, and there’s a blinding, sudden light– “What the fuck,” Mike exclaims, squinting and throwing a hand up in front of his eyes. “Nancy?”
Jonathan peers around her shoulder. “What were you guys doing in here?”
Don’t look. Don’t look. Don’t–
Will can’t help it. He looks at Mike, and they immediately burst into laughter.
Shit.
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ambrosykim · 8 months
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i find it an interesting detail that this is where the thumbnail comes from, specifically the frame where he says "demonized" (from the titular song)
now i've only watched npmd once so idk if there's any like. subtext as to if max was a typical bully in how if he bullied others due to his own background or insecurities or if he was just genuinely just a terrible person, but it seems interesting that starkid chose this specific frame to go on the thumbnail (i get it he does look frightening and cool at once and it conveys the vibe of the musical)
i mean it's obvious that he's a completely deranged person (i think especially after coming back from the dead) but yeah, what i thought was interesting, was that by starkid choosing this specific frame, they're also immediately demonizing him to anyone that stumbles upon the musical, even before starting it so!!!
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
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#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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bunnihearted · 14 days
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☁️
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queen0fm0nsterz · 6 months
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thinking about the Lady again and she actually is the Character Ever.
Starting off with her design. How ridiculously simple it is, right? Her yukata is plain brown and has a single layer, her wig (and yes, I am positive what she wears is not her hair but a wig soley because of how easily it comes undone... that kind of hairstyle is meant to STICK when done with actual hair) has no decorations befitting a woman of her powerful status and her mask is nothing but... empty. You could mistake her for a mannequin and you wouldn't even be wrong. It's by design, after all: she is as insanely important, as a figure, as she is anonymous as a person.
But then, it's with amusement that you note that that boring, unexpressive mask is called the "Rascal's mask" when unlocked. It's such an oddly affectionate nickname stemming from a person so utterly despicable. And then you notice her hair. Her long, black hair that should be hidden under her wig, as the hairstyle goes, but are instead hanging out freely. Not very traditional at all, right? You could almost read it as a small act of defiance of... something. Now, what that thing is, I doubt even she knows. Maybe it's just her way to seek individuality without having to step into zones she does not want to touch.
And then, of course, the lack of shoes. It's not uncommon for people to wear slippers in the house - especially for the Japanese - but she just... doesn't. In that small, small way, she is similar to Six - and every other child in the Maw running around barefoot. Except she's above running, of course. She's got the privilege of floating like a ghost so that she may never touch the ground.
(The only time when this rule is broken is when she fights Six, poetically enough. You can see her visibly step back.)
These strange little things are the first things that push you to wonder about her as a person. Not the title, not the Lady of the Maw: the individual behind the mask. Who is that person? What is she like? Is there a way to answer these questions? I think yes, if you know where to look - but is it worth to ask these questions considering what she does?
That depends on you. Me personally, I think there is narrative worth to be found in what she has to hide. Her foil, Six, finds value in the aspects of herself she does not hide: she is very unapologetic in her selfhood. The Lady isn't, for the most part.
(I wonder if that would make her envious of her younger counterpart in a different context?)
Frankly, looking back on her choice of attire, the fact that her personal bedroom is barely decorated is not surprising. She only has the essentials: a bed, the vase with the key, a few pictures of importance (of people long forgotten, herself included no doubt) and... an ungodly amount of misplaced clothes all over her quarters. All the same yukata, repeated over and over, maniacally folded and arranged in towers, but never where they're supposed to be.
A bedroom is the reflection of yourself. Of your inner world. The fact hers looks so barebones is quite telling about who she is. Or isn't. She herself may have some trouble trying to figure that one out.
I think that, in a vacuum, it's easy to assume that the reason she's so displeased by her reflection is soley out of vanity. That is definitely part of it, but I don't think that's all there is. Because after seeing the mannequins that all look just like her, the four women in the picture who also wear her same exact clothes... and that hidden quote.
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This quote, which is from Alice in Wonderland. Specifically from a conversation in which Alice expresses how she doesn't recognise herself anymore because of how many times she grew big and small during the course of the day. She is not the same person she was before entering Wonderland.
I find the way she clings to the dolls and the music box to be much more... sombre when keeping this in mind. In a way, that scene is reminiscent of Monster Six clinging to her music box in the chaos of the Tower; an attempt to attach to something safe. For the Lady, it's even more personal. Those are her toys. Her song. No one can take them from her and claim them as theirs. These materialistic tomes are physical proof of her identity. She likes dolls, and she likes to sing that song from her music box. Surely, that much is something.
But a ceramic toy and an old music box are not really enough to placate the inner turmoil. Hence the broken mirrors, the hidden statues... the hung down portraits with their eyes scratched out - from times of the past. There is a person looking back in the mirror which she does not recognise. That can't be her, right?
It isn't. The reflection is but a faux image of her outward appearence. The inside, however... much like this concept art shows, she is melting away. Rapidly decaying no matter how much she tries to stick to her youth.
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Because at the end of the day, that's what she's doing, no? The toys, the music box, her appearence... all of it, just to cling a bit more to the person she used to be. Point being that I doubt even she remembers what she used to be.
You'd think a person like this would be inclined to feel at least some sympathy for all the lost children wandering the Nowhere. A sense of kinship, perhaps, or even just... basic human compassion. She has proved to have very human emotions, after all. This is where she proves you wrong. Whenever you think she's stepped the lowest, she always goes lower.
In her humanity, she is brutal. Relentless, ruthless. She offers no sympathy to anyone and has no empathy to spare either. She is very much aware of what's going on under her roof: she not only allows the Maw to continue being the way it is in spite of having the power to change things, but she actively engages in its despicable practices. She has petrified children in her quarters, as well as their ashes - of which the use is unclear - and then she is responsible for the Nome population and exploitation being so large and so eerily heavy. She's twisted necks, broken bones, murdered innocents.
The Shadow Children are, to me, one her greatest offenses. I don't think they serve any particular purpose other than... being there because she wanted to make them. Children ripped away from their life because of her whims. Not even in death can they rest because she can get her hands on their souls. They're nameless, forgotten shadows with blank masks: they're just like their creator, in that way. Ripped of all individuality and devoid of everything.
Everything she sees, the Lady devours. Not a creature is safe from her shadows and her wrath, especially if they come and actively intrude in her activities. She's twice as aggressive if the Maw is at stake.
The Lady's personal bedroom has another motif piece which I did not previously mention: the Maw wallpaper. While Roger and the Chefs have wallpapers that portray them with her, the Lady... does not. She only has the Maw. She's not part of that picture.
The Lady can't let the Maw change its ways. She is the Maw. The Maw must survive: so must she. To change the Maw would mean challenging herself enough to bring about a change; to her, who does nothing but lament what she lost, that would be too much effort. Too outside of the comfortable zone where she can survive in peace. Miserable, but unbothered.
... For the most part. Until Six comes around.
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coconut530 · 5 months
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BITTERSWEET REUNIONS
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#WOW WHAT A RETURN!! I KNOW THE HIATUS WASN’T THAT LONG BUT DAMNNNNN!!! ALSO RIP TO OUR 5 COIN STATUS#ANYWAY MORELLA SNAPPING ADA BACK.. IT’S SO CRAZY HOW HER PARTICLES WERE ALL OVER THE ROOM#CAN SPECTRES LIKE UPGRADE THEIR POWERS BC IT LOOKS LIKE ADA DID THAT#WILL BBY SORRY FOR CHOKING YOU AND DAMNNNNNN LENORE FOR FORCING HIM OFF AND TELLING 👏🏼 HIM 👏🏼 OFF 👏🏼 GODDAMN LOVED THAT#AND THEN ADA AND MORELLA FIGHTING!! MORELLA SHOUTING IS AMAZING! AND IT NEVER OCCURED TO ME THAT ADA DEFLECTS HER BLAME IT’S CRAZY#SICK OF PLAYING WITH PHONIES!! EPISODE 7!!! CALLBACKS!! AND NOW MORELLA COME TO THE MISFITS FULL TIME PLZZZZZ#OOP DUKE YOU GOOD? OK OH UH YEAH IT’S BEEN A BIT WITH YOUR SPECTRE ALSO UR POWERS MADE ADA GO OUT OF CONTROL SO 😬#GIVING HIM HIS JACKET AAAAAAA! THE COIN AAAA! EULALIE AAAAAAAA! DUKE CATCHING HER AAAAAAAAAA! PLUTO BLUSHING AAAAAAAAAA!#WELCOME TO ANOTHER EP OF EULA’S AMAZING FACTS#BERENICE! GROUP HUG!!! THEY’RE ALL SO WHOLESOME I CAN’T I’M SO GLAD THEY’RE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN! BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!#wait just realizing something did duke’s spectre heal his bruises? interesting#PUT ME BACK IN THE WALL HAHAHAHAHA#And the two of them scoping out the mess#YESSSSS YOU GOTTA BEG SIR! BEG FOR YOUR PLACE AND YOUR LIFE! REAL TEST OF -FAITH- LIKE THE LAST EP ALMOST#DAMN WE BACK EVERYONE SO EXCITED TO MAYYYYBE FINISH OFF THE SEASON??? IDK WHERE WE GO FROM HERE I ASSUME EP. 100#BUT YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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felsicveins · 2 years
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@sibillascribbles08 for you bestie
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pain-is-too-tired · 1 month
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Thinking about the fact that they had Maron be the saytr that brought Will to camp-
THEN WENT AND GAVE HIM A NYMPH GIRLFRIEND NAMED NAOMI?? I KNOW IT'S LIKE A ACTIVE GREEK NAME AND ALL BUT??? 😭
Idk if he keeps any contact with Will though. Cause I never thought he actually did any Protector stuff in awhile?? Maybe he was just in the area but idk hdfd
But, he just doesn't seem to be as close to any demigods as Grover and Couch Hedge. The cloven counsel in general always felt separate from over satyrs in duties.
But if he did keep in touch with Will, I'm just imagine how awkward it is to have your old protector have a gf with the same name as your mom fsgsg.
Like-common name probably and all, but it's still funny to imagine.
Poor Will XD
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romance-rambles · 1 month
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modern clarence | an appropriate staring distance
While at the beach, you take a moment to appreciate your handsome boyfriend while he's taking a nap—and also when he's not.
1.2k, fluff + established relationship, reader is mc, series: none
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NAVY BLUE STICKS OUT TO you the moment you open your eyes.
Your aching shoulder protests your decision to stay as you are, on your side, facing a still sleeping Clarence. Like this, he looks much younger—you're reminded of the time you had to force him to take a nap. Like this, he's simply the cute guy you managed to score not one but multiple dates with, just Clarence, instead of the incredibly smart and wonderful and kind Student Council President.
You glance at the circular table set between your two beach chairs, taking note of his glasses resting primly upon its surface. With him often having to juggle two different kinds of glasses, you'd offered to put them in your bag so that he could pack lighter. Or, as light as he can.
Right now, it's awkwardly squished behind you, miraculously still on the chair only because it's too big to fall out the gap under the armrest.
Filling in the blanks comes as easily to you as the smile on your face when you get to see your boyfriend, nearly the same one on your face right now—and the expression that goes with it is so endlessly fond that you find yourself with the urge to hit something.
Simply put, your boyfriend is a handsome man—the most handsome one, of all the men your keen eyes have gazed upon. And gazed, they certainly have. But even if they didn't have to pick, then they would gaze at only Clarence for the rest of their life..
You almost giggle at the thought, but think against it at the last minute.
But pressing your lips firmly into a thin line has the opposite effect on your budding smile. You imagine you look rather strange to anyone who passes by—what with your mockery of a wide smile and the silent scream building up in your throat, paired with the quiet thumping of your feet against the legrest.
If you were in a more private space, you would resort to kicking instead.
A proper squish to your still warm cheeks as you begin to sit up helps ease up the passion swirling chaotically across your body. You exhale, then allow your hands to slide off your face. One side of it bears the consequences of your actions more than the other.
With a one last longing at the sleeping Clarence, you start to dig through your bag for the only thing in your arsenal that could substitute for a sketchbook.
There are a few miscellaneous promotion emails waiting for you on the lockscreen. A message from Cael asking about dinner tomorrow too. Somewhere between them, there's a notice about the weather, with the temperature from an almost hour ago listed uselessly.
You swipe past them all and hurriedly slip into the camera app.
The hand holding your phone steadies itself against the armrest as you swing your legs over the edge of your chair. A thumb hovers over the capture button, vigilantly awaiting your command. The fingers of your other hand, meanwhile, busy themselves with zooming in on the captivating scenery.
With each pinch, the focus grows ever narrow—until all that remains is Clarence and nothing else.
At one point, you try to zoom into the mole under his eye, but it doesn't make for a very compelling photo. After a few attempts, quite a few of which involve staring at your screen for prolonged periods of time, you reluctantly give up.
Your pout is soon covered up by your phone. When its front camera presses against your upper lip, your gaze is free to wander back to the sleeping beauty beside you once more.
A healing effect, exclusive to him, takes hold of you instantaneously.
Eyes brimming with fondness narrow slightly. You slide off your beach chair, hands on your bent knees as you take a closer look. You can make out the shadows cast by his long lashes and the drool dribbling past his chin.
He's perfect.
You're content to stay there until your knees begin to ache, reminding you insistently that this isn't a very comfortable position to be in. As a compromise of some kind, you adjust your arms atop the nearby armrest.
It really would be better if you'd brought your sketchbook along—but, you think, remembering his workaholic tendencies, would he even bother to take a nap then?
You scrunch your nose up at the thought.
In that moment, Clarence seems sense to your presence. When you look back at him, you're greeted with the sight of confusion in his now opened, but still drowsy gaze. He blinks, and it earns him an amused grin from you.
"Morning," you say, though it's well into afternoon.
That seems to wake him up. His cheeks flush a warm pink, and he hurriedly wipes away the drool on his face, as though you haven't already committed the sight to your memory.
Clearing his throat, he responds in kind, careful to sit up in such a way that he avoids looking at you.
"You don't have to be so close...I can see you just fine."
You laugh, not unkindly. "What if I'm the one who's having trouble?"
For a moment, when he turns back to look at you, he looks alarmed. Then, his shoulders relax to the tune of a sigh, his groggy mind apparently having caught onto the fact that you were joking.
Without breaking eye contact, you reach for his glasses. But as with the issue of walking into a cave without a flashlight, even if you vaguely recall where your destination is, there's no guarantee you'll actually reach it.
"Give me a second," you mutter, your annoyance making your tone a bit too sharp.
You follow your words up with an apology. His glasses held are carefully by the frames as your sheepish gaze connects with his faintly amused one. Clarence reaches out, getting as far as grasping the slanted tips of the frame before the two of you reach a mutual agreement.
"Well." His cheeks return to being a rosy hue. He coughs politely. "If you would."
Cute. Biting your lip giddily, you shake his grip off. A quick once-over of your surroundings before you stand up shows that no one seems to be paying attention to you. And unless your friends and acquaintences have come to together to unlock the secrets of invisibility, no one you know seems to be present either.
Leaning over, you line his glasses up against his face, the tips of his frame brushing against his cheek. It takes only a moment to slot them into place—and you have enough experience with doing so that they don't snag against his ears.
It takes only a moment longer to give him an innocent peck on the lips.
"There," you murmur, not entirely satisfied with the kiss.
His Adam's apple bobs. Clarence adjusts his glasses with an awkward look that suggests he has some kind of solution to your dilemma. You, of course, beat him to the punch.
"Why—" Your voice cracks a little. "—don't we go find a different spot?"
He smiles, narrowed eyes watching you fondly. "I was about to suggest the same thing."
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#fics by aya#lovebrush chronicles#lovebrush chronicles x reader#for all time#for all time x reader#clarence clayden#clarence clayden x reader#lbc clarence#lbc clarence x reader#lovebrush clarence#lovebrush clarence x reader#rambles from here on (slight spoilers for azure island cgs/mentions of cn cards) ->#so. um THE CGS?? from the event?? very specifically clarence's??#um that killed me actually i'm learning stuff about myself i didn't know before like#idk actually because i've been telling myself glasses are sexy but it took an anime boy being flirted with for me to realize that yes??#but yeah i am THIS close to going blue particularly because i've been staring at his cards too long and there is one specific like#artstyle? that makes him look really hot but like you could almost mistake him for a bad boy. and yes i do mean clarence#he has glasses so it's not. the one where he'd actually approach being a bad boy (the prison?? one??)#according to cn wiki it's supposed to come like feb but the schedule fast so idk#actually looking at it again and it might be how he parts his hair?? anyway clarence in a black t-shirt and dogtag(?) necklace sounds#like he would actually kill me. not because he's actually threatening but because i spontaneously combust whether he smiles or glares at me#also i just realized it's just like his unstyled hair so again having a thing for guys who like minimally style their short hair apparently#also i've figured out which card it is holy shit clarence
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sweatermuppet · 1 year
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analyzing my own speech patterns & coming to realize with great horror the frequency with which i use the word "wicked" in place of "very"
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katierosefun · 4 months
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my cancelled-able trait from the queer community would be that i really apparently love messy endings. i love u happy endings and i also love u such sad, messy, ambiguous endings . . . i love u endings where u have this weird pit in the bottom of your stomach because you know that there's love here but u have no idea what to do with it and u just have to deal with the fact that someone is profoundly affecting your life and you're not gonna get closure from it anytime soon . . . i love u queer love stories where it's really just "u don't always get to see the sunshine and rainbows at the end of it . . . sometimes all that's left is just one big question mark and the quiet hope that they get their shit together" . . .
#caroline talks#don't get me wrong. i love u happy endings. esp when it comes to queer love stories#but i also just. love endings where it's just like. well. u DON'T know for certain whether the characters#are truly going to ride off into the sunset together.#the only thing u know for certain is that they love each other and that they're going to have to grapple with that forever.#maybe it's also just bc like. idk. i took too many film classes and so my head's forever stuck#on this one essay about how some really happy endings feel lifeless.#like how in some ending shots. the characters look like they've had their happy ending. but there's also some weird unease and confusion#and it's like. well yeah. because for every happy moment u get in life. u are still already thinking 'well what's next. what now.'#which is fascinating to me. but also me @ me: god maybe u can just be happy and it's not that deep.#but also. i do love the wonderful ambiguity of just. 'there is so much more to live. so much more to do.'#and i guess it's not just for queer love stories. i think a lot about the ending of my mister.#with lee ji an and park dong hoon walking away from each other but they're happy. u have no idea how their relationship will pan out but u#do know that they love each other.#or like. columbus. with jin and casey. they hug each other and thank each other for being in the other's lives.#and jin says goodbye to casey and casey says goodbye to jin and u have no idea if they'll see each other again. but u know they love each#other so very much. even if they'd only known each other for a second.#or like. beginners. anna and oliver love each other so much and u get this sense that. they're still a little bit uneasy/nervous about how#the rest of their lives are going to go. but they'll try.#or. god. the swearing jar.#the last shot. i think about it a lot.#there is love!!! but u don't always know how the rest of it is going to pan out!!! u just know that it'll pan out somehow!
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fakeoutbf · 19 days
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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