#(it’s free time and the opportunity to paint me nails. but it’s fine lol)

[puppyeared]

Harvest moon

[berrynarrybanana]

Me and You Together

A/N: Hello! I would like to say first of all that ^ is not my gif. I had it saved on my computer from somewhere and it just felt perfect for this. I do love my little sweet pea and frat boy Harry, but I also feel like I’ve done them dirty in this fic. I wanted to add more angst, but we all know I’m shit at that kind of stuff bc I’m soft at heart. Anywho, I really hope that you enjoy this and I just want to thank the lovely @stellarboystyles​ for putting together this little fic challenge. Congrats on 3 years babe! I hope that you like this story and that I have done this celebratory moment justice! 

Word Count: 11.9 k 

Warnings: Alcohol, smut, pining, Louis being a dickhead, a mean roommate

Trope: Best Friends to Lovers with Frat Boy Harry 

Prompt: “Just sit on my fingers. Yeah, just like that.” (this is all the way at the end tbh, just a heads up lol) 

P.s I know nothing about frat’s honestly and I just tried to avoid that the best that I could but fratboy!h lives in my mind rent free and I wanted to write it so....yeah.

September

Piper’s POV 

I rolled my head back on my neck, looking up at the ceiling as my roommate sighed. 

“Has anyone told you that you’re a selfish bitch?” Carli asked, her perfectly manicured nail resting on the cheap, wooden door of our dorm room. “I’m trying to unwind and relax after an extremely hard week and you’re ruining it for me.” 

“I live here too!” I felt my brows pull together in frustration as I adjusted my bag on my sore shoulders, shifting from foot to foot. “The least you can let me do is come in and change before you start fucking.”

“You’re killing my mood!” She groaned, holding her hand out. “Give me your fucking bag and tell me what you need.” 

“Carli-”

“Tell me what you need or I’m shutting this door in your face, I swear to god.” She snapped, her brows arching up as she wiggled her fingers at me. “You have five seconds.” 

“Fine!” I said, shrugging my bag off my tired shoulders. “I need my purse, a black t-shirt, and a jacket.” 

“Great.” 

She slammed the door in my face, flicking the lock as I brushed my hands over my face angrily. 

College was not supposed to be like this. 

The next four years of my life were meant to be spent making new friends and partaking in fun activities on campus. So far, the only person I knew was Carli and she most definitely hated my guts with a burning passion. I wasn’t sure why she hated me so much when I mainly kept to myself, hunched over my desk with headphones on for most of the night when I studied. I hardly ever talked to Carli besides the odd argument about my typing being too loud and my presence being too...obvious. I hated every second of college so far and this wasn’t helping me at all. 

I was moments away from having a breakdown, the build up creeping up my throat as I stood there in the hall, waiting for Carli as everyone else stared at my back. I tried not to let their prying eyes bother me, but I could feel the hairs standing up on the back of my neck as I crossed my arms over my chest. I tried to distract my mind, thinking about where I was going to go while Carli got her rocks off in our shared room. Maybe the library? Maybe a cafe?

Just as I started listing off cafes in my head, the door opened just a crack. 

“Here’s your stuff, don’t come home before midnight.” She stuck a hand out, her voice muffled by the door. I rolled my eyes, grabbing my things from her hands. “Bye, Pippi!”

“It’s Piper, you unbearable asshole.” I sighed, holding my stuff close to my chest as frustrated tears started to accumulate behind my eyes. “I hope you don’t have an orgasm.” 

I turned on my heels, ready to storm towards the communal bathroom so I could change and collect myself before leaving. I only made it halfway down the hall when I heard someone shouting behind me. I wasn’t sure they were actually calling out for me until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stopped in my tracks, sniffling as I reached up to wipe at my cheeks. 

“Piper, hold on.” The girl who was calling my name stepped in front of me, letting out a shuddery breath. She only had eyeshadow on one of her perfectly shaped eyes and a makeup brush in her hand as she stopped. “I just wanted to say that I am so sorry your roommate just did that to you. You can use my room to change if you’d like? I know the communal bathroom doesn’t always offer the most privacy and my roommate is never home. I’ll stand outside and everything!” 

“You don’t have to do that.” I sniffled before offering her a forced smile. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with teasing right now. “But thank you.” 

“I insist.” Her brown eyes looked softer as she spoke, her hand falling to her side. “My name is Eleanor. I think we have Modern English together.” 

“Piper.” I said. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I don’t mind it at all, babes.” 

Eleanor left me in her room to get dressed, politely standing outside as I collected myself. 

I took a few deep breaths, trying to compose myself as I stripped out of the blouse I had been wearing all day. I pulled my black t-shirt on, huffing when I realized that this wasn’t the one I actually needed. This one was meant for darker jeans and a pair of heeled boots. This top was meant for parties and bars, not a cafe. The criss crossed pattern was far too fancy for a late night cup of coffee and a lonely piece of cheesecake. 

When I opened the door, my old shirt bundled up in my hand, I smiled at Eleanor. 

She looked over my outfit, her eyes growing wide. 

“You look great!” She said. “Do you have plans tonight?” 

“I was just gonna go to Fitz and Co for coffee and dessert.” I gave her a nervous chuckle, clutching my old shirt in my hands. “Probably going to wander around campus after to kill time.” 

“Don’t take offense,” She gave me a sweet smile, her accent growing thicker with each word she spoke. I hadn’t noticed it all that much before when my emotions were on overdrive and my mind was swirling with anger. “But that sounds absolutely dreadful and you deserve to have a little bit of fun. It’s Friday night for fuck’s sake and we’re in Uni!”

“I don’t really know anyone on campus.” I shrugged. “I’ve not made a ton of friends yet, you know?” 

“I do, actually.” She nodded. “If I had to say, you’re the first person I’ve tried to make conversation with since I’ve been here. I’m going to a party tonight because my boyfriend’s frat is hosting it, and he’ll just text me all night if I don’t go.”

“That sounds like fun.” I said. “Thank you for helping me out and offering me your room. I really hope you have fun tonight."

“Why don’t you come with me?” She asked. “I know frat parties sound horrible after all the stuff you see in films, and a lot of them are pretty shit, but I would love to have a drinking buddy.” 

“I don’t want to impose.” I said. “I’m sure you want to spend time with your boyfriend.”

“Nonsense, he sees me everyday.” She shook her head. “I would love to have someone to chat with that isn’t one of his football friends from back home.” 

“Um, okay.’” I shrugged. “I guess that’s not too horrible and I kind of owe you one.”

“You won’t regret it.” 

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“So the house shouldn’t be too crowded.” Eleanor pulled her flannel tighter around her body, hunching over as the wind whipped around us. “A few of the guys are still out getting alcohol and people aren’t supposed to start showing up for another hour at least.”

“That’s good.” I nodded. “So why did you decide to come to school here?”

“Louis.” She said. “I couldn’t stomach the idea of being away from Lou and there are so many opportunities in America for both of us. He’s here on a footie scholarship and I’m here on a performing arts scholarship.”

“That’s really cool!” I exclaimed, my eyebrows raising up. “I didn’t peg you for a theatre nerd.”

“Just a tiny one.” She chuckled. “I’m more into the costumes than anything. Fashion has always owned my heart and my Mum took me to so many musicals as a girl. I figured I would combine my love for both and make it my career.”

“I admire that.” I said softly, glancing down at the sidewalk as we turned a corner. “So how long have you and Louis been together?”

“Four years.” She smiled. “We met on a holiday to London one summer and we’ve never let go of each other. Last year we went to the same University for our first year before deciding to come abroad and it was….magical.”

“He sounds lovely.” I said. “He makes you happy?” 

“He does.” She nodded, her lips pursing slightly as she tried to hide her smile. “He’s a proper gentleman, even when he’s being a bit too laddie.”

“I don’t even know what that means.” I chuckled and Eleanor joined in. “What is a laddie? Is that like Lassie, the dog?”

“Not like that dog.” She scrunched up her nose. “I think you call them ‘Bro’s’ over here.” 

“Ah, I do understand then.” 

Eleanor and I continued chatting as we walked down Frat Row. 

The houses were large, but they looked a little plain and rundown. I imagine having a group of rowdy, drunk boys living in a house without supervision didn’t do well for wear and tear on a house. Eleanor told me that the last house on frat row in the cul-de-sac belonged to pretty much the entire footy team with a few odd guys sprinkled in. 

When we arrived, my jaw nearly dropped to the ground. 

I was living in a tiny dorm room and these men were living like kings and a gigantic and modern house that looked brand new. Eleanor laughed as I took in the dark, blue-grey exterior. The shutters and the porch were both painted a dark, charcoal grey. We walked up the stairs and I continued to look around like a kid lost in a candy store. 

Maybe joining a sorority wasn’t a bad move?

“So, that is the living room and just down that first hall is the bathroom. I recommend going upstairs to Louis’ room if you want to use a clean and unoccupied bathroom.” She chuckled. “I’ll show you around upstairs later if you’d like.”

“This is the cleanest Frat house I’ve ever seen in my life.” I said slowly, looking around. “How is it so pristine?”

“A few of the guys are really obsessed with cleanliness and organization.” She chuckled. “Also I spend a lot of time over here, so I do what I can.”

“I would spend all of my time here, too.” I said. “Why are you even in a dorm if you could be here?”

“Rules.” She rolled her eyes. “Technically women aren’t allowed to be housed in a frat, which blows, but I understand it.”

“Well, I’ll pretend to be you and stay in your dorm if you want to fly under the radar and move here.” I teased, patting her shoulder. “It’s a win win for both of us.”

“I might take you up on that.” She giggled, guiding me through an open archway. “This here is the kitchen-”

“Ellie, s’that you!” 

Eleanor flinched at the booming voice from upstairs, her eyes casting up to the ceiling as she grumbled. 

“Bloody hell, these men,” She shot me a sympathetic look and I tried my best not to laugh softly at her annoyance. “Yes, Niall?”

“I need help.” This accent was slightly different than Eleanor’s and it almost reminded me of the guy on the lucky charms commercial. “I don’t know what trousers to wear, should I do these dark jeans or these plaid one’s.”

The voice was closer and closer with each word and suddenly, a half naked man appeared in the doorway, holding two pairs of pants as he looked down at them. He was wearing white boxer briefs and white socks, the rest of his pale and freckled skin on display. I had to admit that he was extremely attractive, chestnut colored hair on top of his head and a soft stomach rounded out with a matching chestnut happy trail dusting under his belly button. 

“Oh, hello.” He looked up, smiling at me with piercing blue eyes and extremely handsome features. I tried not to blush, my eyes glued to his. “Which one’s do ya think I should wear, love? Good to have an outsider’s perspective sometimes.” 

The sound of a door shutting behind us caused my head to snap around. 

This was more of a man standing at the opposite end of the kitchen, his chocolate colored curls framing his face and resting on his broad shoulders as he looked up at me. His face was perfect, adonis like features catching my attention and his bright green eyes causing my breath to catch in my throat. He offered me a small smile, his features soft as he cleared his throat. 

“Hello.” He said softly to me before his eyes darted up, looking behind me. “For fuck’s sake, Niall. Why are you nearly naked!” 

“I needed help!” I turned my head back towards Niall as his brows pulled together, his lips turning to a scowl. “I can’t decide what trousers to wear and Liam is no help!” 

“We have a guest.” The green eyed god spoke from behind me, but I didn’t dare turn my head. I was afraid that if I did, I would be stuck staring at him for the rest of the night. “Don’t be rude.”

I glanced over at Eleanor who lifted her hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. 

I tried, again, not to laugh at her misery. 

“I swear to god, Niall,” She sighed heavily. “The least you could do is introduce yourself to the poor girl before you flash her.”

“M’Niall,” He rolled his eyes, looking over at me. “What’s your name, love?” 

Harry’s POV

“My name is Piper.” 

I stared at the back of her head, trying my best not to think about running my fingers through her soft curls that nearly matched the shade of my own. I inhaled sharply as I pressed my fingertips into the marble countertop below me. I had seen this girl, Piper, around campus before. I saw her flitting from building to building with her head tilted down and her headphones tucked in her cute little ears. I had a huge crush on this girl and now she was standing in my kitchen with my half-naked roommate and my best friend’s girl. 

This wasn’t a good thing at all.

“S’nice to meet you, Piper.” Niall winked at her and I rolled my eyes, shooting him a glare over the girls head. 

His brows furrowed and I gave him a pointed look before mouthing, ‘That’s the girl’.

Niall’s brows lifted up and he shot me a cheeky grin. 

He was the only one I confided in about my girl troubles. 

He knew all about the mystery girl that I passed by every day on my way to physics class and he had suggested to me several times that bumping into her was the best way to catch her attention. I declined, rolling my eyes at his childish suggestion. I had to admit though, if she had been in my class, I would have tossed paper at the back of her head to get her attention. 

It was a trick that never failed. 

“Well, I’m gonna go get dressed then.” He cleared his throat, glancing over at Eleanor. “Lou is stuck on the phone with his Mum, babe. I think he might need some rescuing if he’s going to join the party at all tonight.”

“Oh,” Eleanor stood straighter, glancing over at Piper. “I don’t want to leave Piper-”

“I can stay with her.” I cleared my throat, reaching up to fiddle with my hair as both girls turned to look at me. “I’ve finished my part of party prep, so I don’t mind.”

“Harry, I don’t know.” Eleanor said. “I’m already afraid Niall’s neon white body is going to scare her off. I don’t need you turning on your Cheshire Charm.”

“Oi, I resent that.” I narrowed my eyes at her playfully, trying to fight off my smile as she chuckled. “I won’t be turning on any charm tonight, love. I’ve got a big match to play tomorrow, remember? Gotta save my strength and energy if I wanna do well.”

“Alright, fine.” Eleanor sighed, turning back to Piper. “Are you okay if I disappear for a few minutes? I promise I’ll be right back.” 

“It’s fine.” Piper smiled at Eleanor, gently nodding her head. “Please, go ahead. I don’t mind waiting down here.”

“You’re sure?” Eleanor asked, her face laced with concern. 

“Positive.” Piper glanced over at me. “I think I’m in good hands with ol’ Cheshire Charm back there.” 

My smile was so wide that it hurt my cheeks. 

She was funny and gorgeous.

Eleanor glanced between the two of us before saying a quick ‘be right back’.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Piper turned around, her hands pressing against the countertop as Niall wiggled his brows behind us. He disappeared behind Eleanor moments later, leaving Piper and I alone in the kitchen. “Would you like a Whiteclaw?”

“Oh, sure.” She nodded, her eyes dropping down to her hands. “I would love one.”

“You seem a bit nervous.” I said, walking towards the fridge. “Do you have a flavor preference?”

“No.” She said softly. “And yeah, I guess I am a bit nervous. I’ve had a pretty tough day and I wasn’t exactly prepared to come to a frat party.”

“Why are you here then?” I asked, my eyes scanning the shelves until I landed on the one filled with canned drinks. I reached for two lime flavored cocktails, pulling them out before I shut the door with my hip. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.” 

“Um, Eleanor extended the invitation and I kind of owed her one.” Piper smiled, taking the drink with a soft ‘thank you’. “My roommate is a bit of a dickhead and she kicked me out so she could get laid. Eleanor saw me in the hallway on the verge of a mental breakdown and we just...hit it off, I guess.”

“Sorry your roommate was a dickhead.” I smiled, letting my eyes roam over the soft features of her face. “I’m glad you and El hit it off though. It’s nice to have a new face around here.”

I let my eyes trail over the features of her face now that she was up close and personal. 

Her eyes were hazel, a soft golden hue to her irises. Her brows were thick and wild, but perfectly shaped. There were soft freckles peeking out from under her foundation and her cheeks were a soft shade of red. Her nose was soft and rounded at the end and I couldn’t help but think of hovering over her, brushing my own nose against hers as I thrust into her. 

I hated being a man sometimes. 

She was a beautiful girl and even in my head she deserved better than to be thought of that way. She was more than just a sexual object and she didn’t need some creepy frat guy thinking dirty thoughts about her only moments after meeting her. I cleared my throat, reaching for my drink. I took a long sip as she raised her brows, offering me a sly smirk as she sipped at her own drink. 

“Eleanor is a really sweet girl.” I rested my can on the marble countertop. “She’s been having trouble making friends over here, so it’s nice that she’s found someone to hang out with besides us.” 

“I really like her.” Piper said softly. “I’ve been having trouble making friends, too. I’m not really the best at putting myself out there, you know?”

“I think you’re doing just fine.” I flashed her a reassuring smile, noticing how her cheeks turned a shade darker. “I don’t think I’ve fully introduced myself, love. I’m Harry.”

“I’m Piper.” She held her hand out and I took it, giving it a soft shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Harry.” 

Her skin was so bloody soft, her hands a little cold and damp from the can she was holding. 

“You too.” I said. “If you need anything tonight, please don’t hesitate to find me. I know how overwhelming these parties can be and I’ll be happy to keep you company or walk you out for some fresh air if you need it.” 

“Thank you.” She said softly. “The same goes for you. If you need any company tonight, I’m your girl.” 

Just like that, my mind was back in the gutter. 

All I could hear in my head was the echoes of her sweet moans, her voice chanting over and over again ‘M’your girl, Harry. Yours’. I cleared my throat, giving her a tight smile as I tried to avoid thinking about her tucked in my sheets, writhing and gasping as I licked into her. 

I was so totally fucked.

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“Piper, babe,” I laughed, holding her hips tightly as she swayed. “I think we should sit you down for a minute, yeah?”

“If I sit, I’ll sleep.” She whined, looking up at me with her sweet puppy dog eyes. “Where did Eleanor go?” 

“Eleanor is going upstairs with Louis.” I said softly, digging my fingers into the fleshy skin above the waistband of her jeans. “Do you want me to take you home?”

She pursed her lips, shaking her head as she pressed her hands into my shoulders. 

I knew exactly how we’d gotten here. 

The party was still going strong around us, people dancing and shouting as Piper swayed in front of me. I wanted so badly to brush her hair from her face and stroke the soft skin of her cheek, but I would never do something like that when she was this off her face. Holding onto her hips was already too intimate for my liking, but I was afraid she would topple over without some form of support. She swayed forward, her eyes face pinching up ever so slightly before she pressed one hand to her forehead. I frowned, pulling her closer as a group of guys rushed by.

If Niall hadn’t suggested we play four drinking games in a row, Piper and Eleanor might not have been off their faces within the first two hours of the party. I had to admit that I didn’t exactly mind taking care of Piper. She was a funny drunk, silly puns and snide comments slipping from her lips carelessly as she leaned against me. It was when her eyes started to drift shut and her body started to sway, that I started to worry about her. I pulled her into the kitchen alongside a giggly Eleanor, handing them both bottles of water while I quickly cooked up some pizza rolls that Niall had hidden in the freezer. Both girls ate between loud laughs, knocking into each other as I watched them with a small smile on my face.

 Seeing Eleanor happy made me happy, but seeing her happy with the girl of my dreams made me feel like I was on cloud nine. 

“Mate,” Louis’ hand clapped down on my shoulder and I turned my head as Piper’s body fell into mine. “I can take her off your hands. El told me they live in the same halls-”

“She can barely stand on her own, Lou.” I shook my head, glancing down as she rested her head on my shoulder. “Gonna go put her to bed in my room. I’ll sleep on the couch after everyone is gone.”

“Lock the door if you leave her up there.” Louis said. “I’m going back up to El in a minute, but I figured I should get some painkillers and water for the morning.”

“Bring some up for Piper?” I asked him. “I probably won’t leave her alone in there, knowing all of these jackasses are around.”

“Tell me about it.” Louis snorted out a laugh, shaking his head. “I’ll be up in five.”

I nodded, watching him disappear through the crowd of people in our living room. 

“Hey, love,” I said softly. “Gonna take you upstairs and tuck you in, okay?”

“Kay.” She mumbled, turning her head until her nose brushed against the column of my neck. 

I made a mental note to have a talk with her tomorrow about going places with strangers when she was drunk. I knew that I meant no harm, but we were still getting to know each other. It set off a level of worry that I only ever felt when it came to my Mum or Sister. It was almost a primal need to protect, my arms winding tightly around her as I guided her to the stairs. 

It was no easy feat to get her up the staircase, but when we finally made it to my room, she snapped into a more alert mode. She looked up, her tired eyes growing as wide as they could before she brushed some of her hair out of her face. She looked up at me, her eyes searching my face as I pressed my hand lightly to her lower back. 

“Thank you for taking care of me, Harry.” She said softly. “I’m really sorry I’m ruining your fun.” 

“Nonsense, love.” I shook my head. “S’just another party, there will be plenty more.” 

“Still.” She mumbled. “I don’t want to take your bed. Sleeping on the couch is bad for your back and I overheard that you have a match tomorrow.”

“S’alright.” I said. “I’ve slept on a floor before a match and still kicked ass, Piper. I don’t mind giving my bed up for a good cause.”

She let out an aggravated sigh, rolling her eyes at me. 

I tried not to smile as she grumbled under her breath, reaching for the doorknob to my bedroom door. I followed in behind her, flicking the light switch on before I shut the door behind me. Piper staggered a little and I hovered, my hands waiting to catch her should she fall. Instead, she stumbled over to my bed on bambi like legs, collapsing on the foot with a soft groan. 

“You need some help?” I asked her as she lifted her leg, struggling with her shoe. She merely waved her hand at me, shaking her head. “You want something comfy to change into? I’ve got sweats, shorts-”

“Sweats sound lovely.” She mumbled, a soft ‘aha’ falling from her lips as she finally tugged the shoelace of her boot out of a knot. “You’re a true gentleman, has anyone ever told you that?” 

“My Mum.” I chuckled, walking over to my dresser in search of comfy clothes. 

“S’good,” Piper sighed out as her boot hit the floor. “Hard to find a proper gentleman these days, Harry. I think Jude Law was the last of them.”

“I won’t argue with you there.” I shook my head, trying to contain my laughter as I sifted through my sweatpants. I settled on my favorite pair, the light grey fabric soft and worn. “Do you want a t-shirt to sleep in or a long sleeve shirt?”

“Um, t-shirt.” She mumbled. “Your room is lovely. Did you do all of the decorating yourself?”

“I did, yeah.” I nodded. “Brought a few key things from home, but I spent most of my money in Target when I got here.” 

“Amen to that.” She hiccuped softly. “I like your record player. I’ve always wanted one of those.”

“One day you’ll have to come up and listen to some records with me.” I glanced at her over my shoulder, noting how the corners of her lips ticked up into a girlish grin. “What kind of music do you like?”

“All of it.” She said simply, her voice trailing off. “I’ve always been a fan of classical music for studying. My mom calls me a psychopath.”

“They are known for indulging in the genre.” I snorted, pulling out a white t-shirt before I turned around. “I think that’s lovely, though. I’ve heard some good stuff from Bach in my music theory class and I have to say, it makes for good studying music.”

“That’s what I’m saying.” She said. “I love me some cello, mate.”

“Look at that.” I hummed out, holding the clothes out to her. “Got you talking like a proper brit now, don’t we. Didn’t even know what footy was at the start of the night.” 

“Piss off.” She grumbled, trying to hide her amusement as she mocked my accent. 

“I’m gonna run to Louis' room while you get dressed, okay?” I said. “Gonna steal you some makeup wipes from El’s overnight bag so we can take your makeup off. I want you to lock the door and don’t open it for anyone besides me. I don’t care if it’s Niall or god himself, alright?”

“Alright.” She whispered softly. “You’re really fucking nice, Harry.”

I tried to resist the urge to brush my knuckles over the soft skin of her cheek, but I couldn’t. 

I inhaled sharply as she closed her eyes, leaning into my touch with a soft hum. 

“I’ll be right back.” I said softly. “Lock the door.”

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Piper’s POV 

Falling in love with Harry took me all of five minutes. 

I decided that it was physically impossible not to love someone so perfect. He was a real gentleman, keeping his hands in respectful spots even when I was falling all over him, drunk off my ass. I felt a little guilty about being so touchy-feely with someone I hardly knew, but I was comfortable around him from the start. He stood by my side for most of the night, talking with Eleanor and I as we tossed shots back like water. 

I stood up from the foot of his bed, fiddling with the button on my pants. My vision was most definitely blurry and my fingers were shaking as I swayed on my feet, but I managed to pull the button from the loop before I shoved my pants down my legs. It took a bit of wiggling to get my ass settled into Harry’s sweats, an article of clothing clearly meant for a man with no….assets. 

With a soft hiccup, I worked on my shirt, tossing it to the ground before I reached behind me to take off my bra. My drunk brain didn’t care about etiquette or embarrassment anymore. That all flew out the window with my third shot of tequila that Niall handed over. When I settled the fabric of Harry’s shirt over my tired limbs, I heard a soft knock at the door. 

I stumbled over, pressing my ear against the wood to hear who was there. I was plastered, yeah, but I remembered Harry’s speech about not opening the door for anyone. 

“Who is it?” I called out, my voice breaking just a little. 

“S’me.” I heard Harry’s gruff voice. “S’Harry.” 

I flicked the lock on the door, opening it up with a soft smile. 

Harry held up some makeup wipes and a bottle of water, flashing me a cheesy grin. I laughed, shutting the door and flicking the lock behind him again as he walked into his room. When I turned around, my arms crossed over my chest, he was looking at my body with soft eyes. 

“Everything feel comfy enough to sleep in?” He asked. 

“Yeah, thanks.” I nodded. 

“Alright.” He nodded, looking up at me with glassy jade eyes. “Let’s get you tucked in, shall we?”

I smiled, walking over to his bed. 

I picked the side farthest from the door and closest to the window. 

Harry pulled back the covers, waiting for me to climb in before he rested them over my legs. He set the bottle of water on the bedside table, two painkillers falling to the wood next to the plastic bottle. He sat down next to my legs, ripping into the makeup wipes with ease. I watched him pluck a sheet out before closing the pack back up, tossing it to the nightstand with the other items. I rolled my lips in as he turned towards me, holding the cloth out. 

“Do you want me to do it?” He asked. “Just so you know it’s all gone?” 

“Yes, please.” I nodded. 

I could take my makeup off in my sleep. 

I’d done it before, actually. 

But there was something about being doted on by Harry that I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. 

I preened as he wiped the cloth over my skin with gentle strokes, swiping away concealer and highlighter with ease. I let my eyes slip shut when he asked, his index finger gently brushing at the small bit of liquid liner and shimmery shadow on my lids. When it got to my lips, he did a few quick dabs before his touch was gone from my face all together. 

“All clean.” He smiled, tossing the wipe towards the bin in the corner of the room. “Alright, I’m going to tuck you in and turn on a movie. I’ll just be on the floor next to you if you need anything at all. Bathroom is through that door right there.”

“Don’t sleep on the floor.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m okay with sharing a bed with you, Harry. Friends do that all the time, don’t they?”

“But you’re drunk.” He said softly. “And I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable-” 

“I don’t.” I said. “From the moment we met, you’ve made me feel very welcomed and comfortable. I promise that I don’t feel unsafe or pressured in any way, Harry. If you feel more comfortable sleeping on the floor, then I understand, but I’m okay with you sleeping next to me.”

Harry reached up to rustle his long strands of hair, his curls flopping about as he looked at me with a curious gaze. He inhaled sharply, nibbling on his lower lip as I stared back at him with raised brows and an amused grin. 

“I’ll put a pillow wall between us and everything.” I said. “If it makes you feel comfortable.”

“I just don’t want you to wake up in the morning and freak out.” He said softly. “You’ve had a lot to drink and if you don’t remember any of this tomorrow, it might be a little scary to wake up with a strange man in your bed.”

“Well, it’s your bed.” I said softly. “And I’ve been worse off than this and still remembered what happened the night before, Harry. I come from a very small town where drinking is considered a sport. This is a regular Tuesday for me.”

“Alright.” He whispered through a breathy laugh. “But if you change your mind at any point through the night, feel free to kick me out of bed.”

“I won’t.” I rolled my eyes. “Get ready for bed, yeah? You’ve got a big day tomorrow and I can’t have you losing a match because of me. People will think I’m bad luck.”

                                         🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃

Harry’s POV 

When I woke up in the middle of the night, our pillow wall was gone. 

Piper’s cheek was pressed into her pillow, soft puffs of air escaping her parted lips as she tightened her grip on my shirt. Her hand was resting on my tummy and her foot was hooked over my calf muscle, but she remained on her side of the bed. I lay there for a minute, watching her peaceful face as she slept. I tried to commit her features to memory, my heart squeezing in my chest as she shuffled around a bit. I rested my hand over hers, softly brushing my fingers over her knuckles as her body moved just a little closer to mine. 

The dry feeling in my mouth pulled me from my peaceful moment, urging me to go downstairs for my own bottle of water. It was silent in the house, no more music pumping through the speakers downstairs, and I felt safe enough to leave Piper on her own in my room without the doors locked. I would only be gone for a few minutes at the most, running down for water before I ran back up to curl back up next to the sleeping girl in my bed. 

When I made it downstairs, Louis was already in the kitchen.

“Hey,” I grumbled, walking over to the fridge. “What are you doing up?”

“Same as you.” He said. “Thirsty.”

“Hmm.” I nodded. “Eleanor still knocked out cold?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Love that girl to death, but she snores like a bloody chainsaw.”

“That she does.” I laughed, pulling a water bottle out. “I’m glad she’s got Piper as a friend. It was nice to see her unwind tonight.”

“It was.” Louis nodded, pressing his hip into the countertop. “Piper likes you.”

I nearly choked on my water as Louis looked up at me. 

“What?” I asked. “How on earth-” 

“It’s obvious, mate.” Louis rolled his eyes, an amused grin on his lips. “She’s got a bit of a crush on you, but what girl doesn’t?”

“Lou-” I said slowly, my eyes narrowing. “Why do I feel like you’re about to give me a speech.”

“It would break my heart if Eleanor lost her as a friend, Harry.” Louis said softly. “She doesn’t have anyone over here and I at least have you and Niall, you know? If she lost Piper because you two decided to fool around and things ended badly-”

“That’s not what this is.” I said quickly. “And I don’t appreciate what you’re trying to say, either. I would never hurt Piper, or anyone, on purpose. She’s a very sweet girl and it just so happens that I’ve liked her for a while.”

“You know each other, then?” Louis brows arched up and I sighed. “Wasn’t aware.” 

“We don’t know each other, but I’ve seen her around campus.” I mumbled. “Always had my eyes on her, Lou. She’s fucking gorgeous.”

“Harry,” Louis said softly. “I’m asking you as a friend, please don’t get involved.” 

“That’s a shitty thing to ask.” My voice was hoarse. “It’s late and we’re both still pissed. I’m going to bed.” 

“Just think about it.” He said, knocking his knuckles against the countertop. 

Lucky for Louis, it was all I could think about for the rest of the night.

                                         🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃🔸🥃

Piper’s POV 

When I woke up the next morning, I could feel Harry’s heartbeat against my cheek.

The annoying beeping of his alarm had me groaning and turning my face into his chest. I heard him mutter a soft series of ‘sorry’s’ before it turned off. Harry’s arm draped over my back, holding me against his chest as I closed my eyes again. I let out a soft hum as he brushed his fingers up and down my back, his chest rising and falling slowly under my head. 

“I see that we’ve lost the pillow wall.” Harry’s voice was deep and raspy, causing a shiver to run up my spine. 

“Sorry.” I whispered, lifting my head up as I pressed my palm to his chest. “I guess I tossed it aside in the middle of the night.” 

“You did.” He chuckled softly. “You pushed it down with your feet and then you pulled it out and chucked it because you were trying to get comfortable.” 

“You watched me?” I asked, blinking a few times to try and focus my vision as I rested my chin on the back of my hand.

“I felt you flopping around like a fish out of water and I had to check on you.” He said slowly, his own eyes still shut. “I fell back asleep and when I woke up for a wee you were snuggled so tightly against me that I could barely pry you off.”

“I didn’t know that I was a cuddler.” I mumbled softly. “I’ve never really slept in a bed with anyone else before.”

“Well, you can tick that box off of your bucket list.” He smiled, his fingers still brushing over my back as I looked down at him. “You staring at me?” 

“A little.” I confessed, a small smile creeping up on my lips. “Think you’re pretty.”

“Love,” He let out a breathy chuckle. “Easy.”

“What?” I asked, dropping my head back to his chest. “Why can’t I say you're pretty? We spent the night together, I’m allowed to compliment you a little.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea to flirt with me?” He cleared his throat, shifting around under me. I groaned, falling back to the pillow next to him. “Do friends flirt?”

Friends.

I should have known better. 

There was no way on earth someone like Harry would want to be with someone like me.

“Friends can call each other pretty.” I said dejectedly, turning on my side. “And friends can cuddle, too.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, you’re an amazing cuddler.” He said softly, pressing his palm to my bicep as he leaned over to kiss my temple. “You’re welcome to sleep more if you’d like, but I would love to take you out to breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” I turned my head, looking at him with furrowed brows. “I thought you had a match this morning?”

“I’ve got a few hours.” He rested his body next to mine, his head falling on the pillow next to mine lazily. “Eleanor will be at the match.”

“I know.” I whispered. 

“You should sit with her.” Harry smiled. “I would like that.”

“Okay.” I said softly as he snaked his arm underneath my own, curling it around my middle. I tried to fight off a smile. “Thought we were getting up?”

“Few more minutes.” He mumbled. “You smell nice. S’that your perfume or your shampoo?”

“Probably both.” I smiled, resting my palm over his forearm. “Both sweet pea scented.”

“Piper.” He mused. “Sweet pea.”

“What are you mumbling about?” I asked, trying to contain my giggles at his sleepy rambling. 

“Gonna call you sweet pea.” He mumbled. “Because your name starts with a P and you’re so sweet.” 

Fuck being friends. 

I liked this boy.

And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t ignore the fluttering feeling in my stomach. 

I was truly fucked.

                                           ⚽️🔹⚽️🔹⚽️🔹⚽️

December

Piper’s POV 

There were only a few seconds left in the match and our boys were killing it. 

Eleanor gripped my hand tighter as Louis shouted to Niall across the field. Seconds later, he was kicking the ball with the side of his foot. Harry was much closer to the goal, ready to land the winning kick into the goal. I looked at him, his chest heaving and his hairline coated in a thin sheen of sweat. His face was intense and it made my thighs clench ever so slightly to see him so serious. He was always so attractive in the middle of a game, his brows pulled together and his lips pinched tightly together. I loved watching him pull his hair up before a game, twisting the long strands around before he tossed it up in a bun on top of his head. 

“He’s got this.” I said. “Come on, Lou!”

“He’s gonna pass to Harry.” She shook her head. “He has to, babe. He’ll miss from back there.”

“They have five fucking seconds.” We always got a bit snippy during games, but never at each other. “It better be a flawless fucking pass.”

Louis passed the black and white checked ball to Harry with a swift kick and I held my breath, waiting to see what would happen. Harry pushed a guy on the opposing team gently with his shoulder, sliding low until his foot collided with the ball. Just as the last second ticked down, it collided with the net behind the goal and Harry collapsed on his back as players rushed around him. 

Everyone cheered loudly, Eleanor jumping up with a loud cheer alongside the crowd. I could barely move, my heart thumping so loudly that it was all I could hear. I watched Harry’s back flat on the ground, my eyes watering as he continued to stay still. When I saw him sit up, shaking his head, I finally took a deep breath. Moments later, Louis and Niall were lifting him up on their shoulders. 

“Thank, fuck.” I whispered, standing up next to Eleanor as I clapped. 

Harry’s eyes flitted to the stands, landing on mine with a wide grin. 

He was covered in mud and dirt, but he was fine. 

Eleanor grabbed my hand, guiding me down towards the field. 

She was quick to launch on Louis when her feet hit the grass and Niall was quick to run over and scoop me up. I patted him on the back, laughing as he shook me around in his arms. 

“We won!” He cheered. “We bloody won!” 

“I know!” I chuckled, brushing my hand over the back of his head. “I’m proud of you, Ni.”

He put me on my feet, pressing a kiss to my cheek before he turned around to Harry. He grabbed his best mate by the face, kissing his forehead before he ran off shouting something that was terribly hard to make out. I rolled my eyes, steadying myself on my feet. Harry walked over to me, holding his arms out with that same wide and cheeky grin on his lips. 

“Come give your best mate a hug,” He said. “Gotta thank my good luck charm.”

“Harry, no.” I said, holding my hands up. “You’re covered in mud and grass and- Harry!” 

I squealed, taking off on the grass as Harry chased me. 

I dodged a few members of the opposing team, apologizing profusely. 

It didn’t take very long for Harry to wrap his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. 

“I deserve a bloody hug, sweet pea.” He squeezed me tight. “I won!”

“I know, but you’re gross.” I groaned, dropping my head back. “You get to shower before we go to lunch and I don’t.” 

“You could always join.” He whispered, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “Know you’ve been dying to see me naked, haven’t ya pea?”

“I will elbow you.” I grumbled, spinning around in his arms. “Don’t be a prick.”

“Just like watching you blush, Piper.” He reached over, pinching my cheek softly. “Where are we going for lunch today?” 

“Where do we always go for lunch?” I rolled my eyes. “Go on, get cleaned up so we can go.”

“Fine, fine.” He sighed. “I’ll see you in ten?”

“I’ll be here.”

I walked back over to Eleanor and Louis, my mind stuck on Harry’s cheeky comment. 

I hated when he did stuff like that. 

He was always toying with my emotions, pulling me to and fro like I didn’t have any feelings at all. He knew that I had a crush on him and he knew that it sucked for me to be so close, but I had the power to stop it at any time. The truth was that I couldn’t stomach the thought of being away from him like that. I wanted him in my life, no matter how I could have him. I walked towards Eleanor with a heavy sigh, crossing my arms over my chest as she kissed Louis deeply. 

Being around a couple constantly was torture when you weren’t apart of one yourself. Especially when the person you wanted to be a couple with was always around anyways. When the pair were done kissing, Louis ran off towards the stadium to take a shower in the locker room. Eleanor smiled over at me and I gave her a blank stare, my lips turning down. 

“What happened?” she asked softly. 

“He’s done it again!” I tossed my hands up. “He was all ‘you should come shower with me, I know you want to see me naked’. Isn’t he the one who keeps insisting we should just be friends?” 

“He’s an idiot.” She rolled her eyes. “I hate that he keeps doing this and I hate that you won’t let me talk to him about it.”

“I don’t want to come between you and an old friend, El.” I shook my head. “He’ll grow up eventually, I guess. If he doesn’t, I guess I’ll have to start moving on.”

“I think you two would be so perfect for each other, babe.” She sighed. “I don’t know what his deal is!”

“Has Louis said anything?” I ask softly. “I don’t want to pry but-”

“Not a word.” She said, her sympathetic grin causing my heart to sink. “He spends all of his time with you and we both know that he’s into you, but something is holding him back.”

“Yeah.” I grimaced. “I like him so much, El.”

“I know.” She frowned. “I wish I could smack some sense into that thick skull of his. I mean, men can be so daft and then they say we’re the complicated ones!”

“I know!” I exclaimed. “Anyways, you and Lou are still coming to lunch with us, right?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Louis is dying for a turkey apple sandwich.”

“That does sound good.” I hummed out. “I was thinking about soup, though, it’s freezing out here.”

“Oh, soup.” She groaned out. “That’s perfect,”

                                                        ⚽️🔹⚽️🔹⚽️🔹⚽️

Harry’s Pov

I wrapped my towel around my waist, letting out a heavy sigh as I turned the faucet off. 

I hated what I was doing to Piper. 

My sweet pea.

I couldn’t help but rile her up like that, watching her face flush red as I whispered in her ear. 

Part of me was certain that I was riling her up so that she would make the first move. If that was the case, maybe Louis would realize that our feelings for each other were real. 

“Mate,” Louis said. “What was that on the field?” 

“What do you mean?” I asked, my brows furrowing as I walked up to my locker. “We won, Lou.”

“I meant when you were chasing Piper.” He said. “That was flirting, Harry.”

I snapped my mouth shut. 

If he heard the things that passed between Piper and I when we were alone, he’d be livid. 

It was borderline verbal sex with us sometimes, the tension so thick that it had her clamping her legs shut and me shifting in my seat. 

“Was just teasing her, Lou.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re not getting onto Niall for picking her up and kissing her face.”

“Niall means no harm.”

“And neither do I.” I shot him a glare. “Mind your mouth.”

“Why her, Harry?” He sighed. “You could have any bird or lad on campus and you want her, why?”

“Because she’s Piper.” I turned towards him. “She’s the one that I want, okay. I can’t tell you why I think about her every moment of the day or why I want to be with her, I just do. I want to be there for her and you’re stupid fucking fear for Eleanor is standing in my way.”

“You can do what you want.” Louis’ jaw tensed. “M’not standing in your fookin’ way, mate.”

“But you are!” I shouted. “You are because you know that I would never do anything to hurt you or El because you’re family to me. You asked me not to do something and I’m being respectful of that because I respect you. I can’t say that you respect me though, because you would never ask this of me if you did. Can’t you see that this is killing me?”

Louis let out a frustrated huff as I turned back to my locker. 

I grabbed my clothes, angrily pulling them on before I ran my towel over the wet strands of my hair. Piper would be pissed to see me pulling at my curls instead of properly scrunching them up with a soft t-shirt, but I couldn’t be arsed to care about that right now. I slammed my locker shut, hiking my bag onto my shoulder before I stormed out of the locker room. When I walked out onto the field, Eleanor and Piper were whispering amongst themselves. 

“I just don’t get it.” Piper let out a sad sigh. “I want-”

“I know, babe!” Eleanor interrupted her with a chipper voice, pressing her hand to Piper’s bicep with a wide smile. “I wish they still had pumpkin spice too, I already miss it.”

“You women and your pumpkin spice.” I grumbled, pressing my hand to Piper’s hip before I leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Know you miss it, Pea, but it’s peppermint season now.”

“You’re right.” She gave me a playful pout. “I guess I can survive with that for now.”

“Thatta girl.” I chuckled, pulling my hand back as she reached up to touch my hair. “What?”

“You didn’t scrunch your hair properly, H.” She sighed. “I’ve told you to take better care of these curls! They’re going to be frizzy when they dry.”

I licked over my bottom lip, resisting the urge to lean down and kiss the pout off of her lips. 

“Sweet Pea, I’m sorry.” I said softly. “I was in a little bit of a rush, yeah? Wanted to get my favorite girls to lunch.”

“In that case, I guess I can forgive you.” She mumbled. 

                                                    ☕️☕️☕️☕️

Piper’s POV 

I sipped at my peppermint latte as Harry tossed a french fry into his mouth. 

“So when are you all flying home?” I asked. “Only a few weeks left until Christmas and exams are almost over.”

“El and I are flying out next Friday.” Louis said, smiling over at his girlfriend. “I’m excited to see me Mum and sisters.”

“Me too.” Eleanor nodded. “Missed them all.”

“What about you, H?” I asked. 

“I decided to stay.” He shrugged. “I don’t want to disrupt my schedule mid year, you know? It’ll be hard for me to get back into things come January if I spend an entire three weeks vegging out with Mum and Gem.”

“Oh.” I said softly, my face falling as he cleared his throat. 

He was avoiding something and he was sad about it. 

“I’m not going home either.” I said softly. “Too expensive to fly around the holiday’s, you know? Don’t make nearly enough being a full time fan girl for the footie team.”

“Tell me about it.” Eleanor rolled her eyes playfully. “Who do I talk to about getting that raise I was promised.”

“Oh, you get plenty as it is.” Louis leaned forward, capturing her lips. “Pay you in love and other things.”

Harry let out a frustrated sigh, standing up from the table. 

“I’ve gotta go.” He pulled his wallet out, tossing twenty five dollars onto the table. “S’enough for both of us and the tip, Pea. I’ll see you later in Mcgregor Hall for our study session.”

“H-”

“Bye.” He leaned over, pressing a sloppy kiss to my forehead before doing the same to El. 

I watched him storm out with a confused look on my face. 

“Should I not have asked about Christmas?” I looked at Eleanor with soft eyes. “I can’t….El, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Babe, it’s gonna be fine.” She said softly. “He’s just a bit moody today, isn’t he? Misses his Mum a whole lot, it has nothing to do with you.” 

“What are you two on about?” Louis asked, glancing between us. “Is something going on between you and Harry?”

“No.” I shook my head. “That’s the problem.”

“They have this chemistry and Piper really likes Harry, but he told her that being friend’s was their best option.” Eleanor explained softly. “Sometimes he’s sweet on her though and it makes her sad because she wants him.”

“El.” I mumbled, my cheeks growing warm. “He doesn’t need all of the details.”

“You like that miserable sod?” Louis asked. “You’re not worried about a relationship with him ruining your friendship?” 

“Not really.” I shook my head at Louis. “Harry and I will always be friends.” 

“No, I mean,” Louis sighed. “You’re not worried about it ruining you and Eleanor’s friendship?”

“No.” I said slowly. “What are you talking about?”

“I feel like if you and Harry were to break up, you wouldn’t want to be friends with El because he’s always around.” Louis said softly. “Wouldn’t that be hard?”

“For a bit, yeah.” I shrugged. “We’re both mature, though. I think we could work through any differences and remain friends.”

“Why are you being so nosy?” Eleanor narrowed her eyes, looking at Louis. “What have you done?”

“Nothin’!” Louis exclaimed. “I’ve not done anythin’.”

“Louis!” She cried out. “You’re lying to me.”

“M’not.” He fidgeted in his seat, avoiding her gaze. “Swear I meant well.”

“Louis, what did you do?” I asked softly, my heart dropping as he avoided my gaze. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, I just…” He licked over his bottom lip, looking between Eleanor and I with wide eyes. “I just asked him to consider your friendship with Eleanor before making any moves on you. I didn’t want to see her lose her best friend, you know?”

“You’re a sodding prick, Louis Tomlinson.” Eleanor snapped. “You knew that Harry would respect that if you asked. He thinks of you as a brother and he would do anything for you.”

“I have to go.” I grabbed my bag and my coat. “I have to find Harry.”

“Go on,” Eleanor said. “I’ve got a very naughty boyfriend to deal with.”

                                           ❄️💠❄️💠❄️💠❄️

The first place I ran to was the frat house. 

Harry wasn’t there and Niall hadn’t seen him at all. 

The second place I ran was the park on the far end of campus that we often spent weekends at.

He wasn’t there either. 

When I finally found him, I was only a little shocked. 

“You just played a match, mate.” I let out a relieved sigh when he snapped his head up, his eyes softening when he saw me. “What are you doing out here?”

“Just needed to clear my head.” He said as I walked closer. “Why are you here?”

“I had to see you.” I took a deep breath, swiping the ball from between Harry’s feet with a swift kick. It landed in the goal and Harry let out an amused, but breathy chuckle. “I’m getting good.”

“You’ve got a good teacher.” He snorted out a laugh. “Everything okay, sweet pea?”

“No.” I said. “You see, I’ve got this friend and he’s having some girl trouble.”

“Oh, yeah?” He asked. “What’s his deal?”

“He really likes this girl and he flirts with her all the time, but he hasn’t made a move.” I shrugged, glancing up at Harry. “There’s this other friend of theirs that asked an impossible favor of him and he’s being loyal, which I admit is admirable, but a little daft, as you would say.”

Harry’s Adam's apple bobbed up and down softly and he looked over my head. 

“He does sound quite daft, doesn’t he?” He let out a soft laugh, closing his eyes. “Piper-”

“It makes me love him more though.” I said softly. “The fact that he’s putting aside his feelings because he’s that loyal to the people he loves. It’s stupid, but really sweet.”

“You think so?” He asked, his eyes a little watery as he looked down at me. 

“I do.” I nodded. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this, Harry? We share everything with each other and-”

“This was the one thing I couldn’t tell you, pea.” He said softly. “I never wanted to hurt you and...I knew that this would.  I didn’t want you to feel like I was choosing something over you, because that isn’t the case.” 

“Harry, it’s okay.” I said softly. “I would have understood and I also would have had a very long talk with Louis about minding his own business, darling. You’re free to be with whoever you want and no one can tell you otherwise.”

“What if I want to be with my beautiful best friend, pea?” He reached up, brushing his thumb over my chin. “What if I want to be with the girl that stole my heart the moment I saw her?”

“Then make a fucking move, Styles.” I let out a breathy laugh as he leaned closer. “She won’t wait around forever. She’s a fucking catch and-”

Harry’s lips pressed into mine, cold and wet and perfect. 

I pressed my fingers into his shoulders, gripping his coat tightly with glove covered fingers. 

He tilted his head slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my lips. 

“You’re perfect, Piper.” His breath washed over my lips as I shuffled closer, desperately seeking his body heat. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” I said. “Just be with me, H. Be mine.”

“I’ve always been yours, Piper.” He brushed the tip of his nose over mine. “Always will be.”

When Harry’s lips pressed to mine again, something wet landed on my cheek. 

We both pulled back, looking up at the sky with wide smiles. 

“Snow.” I said softly. 

“Christmas miracle isn’t complete with snow, is it?” He teased, brushing his nose against mine. 

“Shut up and kiss me.” 

                                                 🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️

Harry’s POV 

Louis looked like a child who had just been told Santa wasn’t real when Piper and I walked back into the cafe holding hands. He shot me a soft look that said ‘mate, I’m really sorry for being a dickhead’ and I gave him a tight smile in response. We still needed to have a talk about everything, but there was no use in fighting over something that was in the past now. It felt good, sitting next to Piper as her boyfriend and not just her best friend. It was sudden and my mind was still reeling, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I walked her back to her dorm that night with a pout on my lips and our fingers tightly laced together. 

“I don’t want to say goodbye, pea.” I mumbled, my thumb brushing against her cheek softly as we stood in front of her door. “Just got you.”

“You’ve always had me.” She snorted out a soft laugh. 

“Never been able to make out with you, though.” I wiggled my brows. “Think we can finally carry through on all that sexual banter we’ve been partaking in.”

“Yeah.” She said quickly, her cheeks getting pinker. “But not tonight, H. Think we should take some time apart to think about things before we jump right in. It’s going to be a bit different now and I need to get used to the idea.” 

“Take as much time as you need.” I pressed my lips to hers in a soft kiss. “I’ll be waiting.”

I was only slightly regretting my words now. 

Everyone had left for Christmas and we had the house to ourselves. 

We were in the middle of a movie marathon in the living room, a few bottles of wine and takeout boxes scattered on the coffee table as we snuggled into each other. Piper’s head rested on my chest and her fingers rested against my stomach, slightly drumming over the bit of holiday weight I had put on over the last week or so. She looked so cute all snuggled up in my sweater and a pair of fluffy sucks, my sweatpants tucked into them carelessly. 

“You’re thinking too loud.” She whispered, lifting her head up. “What’s going on in your head, H?”

“Just thinking about how cute you are.” I smiled down at her. “You’re all snuggled up in my clothes with your pretty hair and your pretty eyes. I just can’t believe that I’m lucky enough to call you my girl.”

Her eyes searched my face as I reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“I want you.” She said softly. “But I’m scared.”

“I wasn’t…” I trailed off. “M’not trying to get in your pants, sweet pea. I just wanted you to know that I’m so in love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you.” She sat up. “And I would really, really like to show you how much I love you.”

“When you’re ready.” I said. “I know that you didn’t have the best first time and you’re a little nervous to dive back in, but I can wait. I want you to be one hundred percent ready when the time comes.”

She inhaled sharply before giving me a soft nod. 

“I love you.” I said, brushing my thumb over her bottom lip. “Get back over ‘ere, pea. Wanna snuggle you some more.”

                                               🎄❄️🎄❄️🎄❄️

Piper’s POV 

Harry was snoring softly in my ear on the couch. 

The sun had long gone down and the credits for The Holiday were rolling on the flatscreen in Harry’s living room. With a soft groan, I flipped around in his arms, nuzzling my face into his chest as he tightened his arms around me. The scent of his cologne filled my senses, nearly lulling me back to sleep. I was moments from falling back into dreamland when I felt something firm pressing between my thighs, causing my eyes to snap open. I pulled back to look at Harry’s face, his eyes still shut as he continued to softly snore. He was still fast asleep. 

I let out a soft gasp, my walls clenching down as I shifted against his thigh. I let out a soft gasp, my fingers tightening against his sweater as I stilled my hips. I tilted my head back, looking over his face as he slept peacefully. I didn’t want to wake him, but was done waiting. I wanted him. I wanted everything with Harry and I especially wanted to indulge passion filled moments with frantic hands and desperate kisses with a christmas film playing in the background. 

“Harry.” I said his name softly, my fingers trailing up his throat to cup his cheek. “Harry, baby, wake up.”

“S’wrong?” He asked, tucking his head down. “You alright?”

“I want you.” I said it softly, my heart pounding against my chest. “I’m ready.”

“Sweet pea, s’late.” He opened his eyes. “Are you sleep talkin’?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I mean it.” 

I rolled my hips, grinding my core against his thigh to really send the message through. 

“Piper.” He gasped, his eyes wide open. “Darling, what….what’re you doing?”

“Was trying to snuggle up to you and you put your thigh between my legs, H.” I said timidly, my face heating up under his gaze. His lips were curling into a soft smile and I bit the inside of my cheek. “It felt nice.”

“S’that why you want me?” He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “Needy girl.”

“Please.” I whispered. “I need you.”

“I’ve got ye’.” He leaned down, pressing a series of soft kisses to my lips. “Gonna push your pants down, okay?”

I nodded, but she shook his head. 

“If we’re doing this, I want to hear you.” He said. “I need you to say what you want.”

“Take my pants off.” I griped, tilting my head back.

“Good girl.” 

Two little words.

They sent a shockwave through my body, running straight to my core. 

I let out a soft whimper as he pushed at the waistband of my pants. 

“M’too tired to fuck you.” He said softly. “But I promise to make you feel so good, sweet pea. Gonna have you cummin’ fo’ me.”

“Please.” 

I shifted my hips as he moved the waistband of my sweats to my thighs, his hand brushing up the skin of my leg to my hip. He gave it a soft squeeze as our lips collided and I squirmed beneath him. He pulled back, brushing his nose against mine with his eyes shut tight. 

“Do you want my fingers?” He asked me softly. 

“I do.” I nodded. “My fingers are too small and I can never get the angle right when I try.”

“Fuck, pea.” He groaned, opening his eyes. “You’re killing me, my love.”

“Just want to love you.” I pouted my bottom lip out. “Wanna feel good.”

“I know, darling.” He sponged a few soft kisses over my hairline. “Let me get on my back, okay. I want you to ride my fingers.”

Harry wrapped his arms around my body, turning onto his back. I fumbled, my chest pressed tightly to his as he let one of his hands trail over my bum. I whimpered when he tucked his fingers between the crease of my bum and my thigh, brushing the pads of his fingers over my lower lips. His other hand maneuvered its way between our bodies, his thumb brushing swiftly over my clit before it dipped towards my entrance. 

“S’this okay?” He asked. “You feel comfortable?” 

“Yes.” I nodded. “I’m good.” 

He inserted his thumb, pulling it out quickly before he slipped it back up to my clit. 

He rubbed soft circles over it as his fore and middle finger brushed over my entrance in a teasing manner. 

I rolled my hips, desperate to have them inside of me. 

“Yeah, just like that.” He said gruffly. “Ride my fingers, sweet pea. Take what you want from me.”

I gasped when he pushed two fingers into me, my slick walls stretching around them as I moved my hips. I pushed down as Harry curled his fingers up, stroking over that spongy spot inside of me. I moved my hips up, his fingers sliding out slowly before I fucked back onto them. He cooed, brushing the pad of his thumb over my clit in quick circles. 

“You’re so tight, Piper.” He whispered into my hairline as I gripped onto his shoulders. “You’re clenching my fingers so tight.”

“Feels so good, Harry.” I whimpered. “Wanna cum.”

“Are you close?” He asked, a teasing lilt to his voice. “My girl is so greedy, isn’t she? Gonna cum before I properly fuck her with my fingers becuase she wants it so bad, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.” I gasped against his throat. “I need to cum, Harry. It feels so good and I can’t...I need it, baby. Please let me cum.”

“Take it.” He said, sliding his free hand up to my hip. “Take it from me, Piper. Make yourself cum for me sweet pea.”

I felt my thighs clamping as he pressed harder against my clit, my hips stilling against his hand as he stroked that spongy spot inside of me. I felt my walls clenching down around his digits, my whole body warm as my mouth fell open. It was better than any orgasm I had ever experienced on my own and it had me crying out into the skin of his neck. He brushed his hand up my back, slowly slipping my fingers out as I started to come down. 

“You’re so good.” he whispered. “That was perfect, darling. Did so well for me, didn’t you, pea?” 

“That was nice.” I mewled. “Thank you, thank you-”

“Gonna treat you so good tomorrow, darling.” He promised, a sharp edge to his voice. “Gonna spend hours with my head between those pretty thighs and then I’m gonna fuck you like you want. Gonna have you screaming for me, sweet pea.”

I whimpered into his neck, nodding. 

“I want that.” I whispered. 

My eyes felt heavy as he started to pull my pants back up. 

“I love you so much, H.” I whispered, my eyes slipping shut as he covered me up. “Love you, darling.”

“I love you more, pea.” he whispered. “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

I drifted off to the sound of Harry’s voice, my face snuggling into his shirt. 

This was all I ever needed. 

[missmonsters2]

The Color of You || Part II

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: It was another mission Natasha was assigned to. Nothing she hasn’t done before. Same mission, different people. Sent undercover to investigate William Cain, suspect to funding terrorism and smuggling weaponry. Under the disguise of Natanya Rovinski, Natasha is ready for another routine mission. Until she met you, William’s fiancé. 

Warnings: There are dark elements to this series. Also, smut later on. 

Genre: Angst, Romance, Drama, Action

NOTE: I’ve been aggressively reading on color therapy & the psychology of color LOL You’re more than welcome to comment/reply to this post if you would like to be added to a tag list. 

PART I 

PART II of X

Count: 3715

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Natasha was in the middle of her living room, looking over William’s profile again.

She spread out the photos provided to her before leaning back with her fingers holding her chin.

Natasha was still working on her plan. 

Maria had helped her set up dedicated funds to her mission to use as his investor, but she needed more than that.

She needed more than just being a sponsor to him.

She needed to get into his inner circle. 

Idly tapping her chin, Natasha’s thoughts wandered to you from the other night. The sight of you tucking your hair behind your ear and demure smile wouldn’t leave her mind.

How did someone like you end up with someone like William?

The sound of her phone vibrating brought her out of her thoughts. 

Clint: How’s it going over there?

It was Clint texting her to check in on her. Again.

Nat: It’s fine. Stop texting me unless you’re dying.

Clint: ...Rude...

Natasha rolled her eyes with a light smile before looking at the clock. Sighing, she stood up to get prepared for tonight’s events.

William was hosting another event, but this time as part of his political campaign. He was hosting it in his home, so it was a big opportunity for Natasha to look around. 

Her goal of the night was still to obviously information gather but to also take a look around in his home, and secure a personal invite over where there would be more one-on-one time. 

It would also give her an opportunity to get to know you better as well. That night when she caught your eye from across the room, it was like an electrical bolt hitting her that you were more than just a trophy wife to William. 

And when Natasha got that feeling, she was certainly always right. 

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“You know, this wouldn’t be so bad if you just imagine that you’re on fire and the building is collapsing.”

Natasha snorted as David took a sip from his drink.

“Tell us how you really feel,” she replied with a smirk.

Though she couldn’t blame him. God, she was bored out of her mind. The amount of old white men she had spoken to already this evening was already numbing her mind. 

Natasha had arrived at an appropriate time, neither early nor too late. William had approached her within minutes of her arriving, driving her into a conversation about his campaign, and her thoughts. She had merely nodded her head at the time about his interesting policies, occasionally saying something that would suggest to him that she agreed or shared the same ideology. 

When more guests started to pour in, William regarded her with his own smile, asking if she would be free sometime in the next couple of days to have lunch with him.

It was secured and almost entirely too easy.

Just as the right amount of guests came to keep William busy, she disappeared off to snoop around.

She checked the place from head to toe, every nook and cranny.

But she didn’t find anything suspicious, not even a book out of place. Everything was where it was meant to be. 

And that was off to Natasha. It was like everything was staged to show what William wanted people to see, but Natasha saw that whatever William was hiding, she wouldn’t find it here. 

“So,” David said, breaking Natasha out of her thoughts. “What did you think of William’s fiancé?”

“Have you met her?” Natasha asked in return, watching as David nodded once. 

“Yes, I kind of want to ask her to blink twice if she’s being held against her will because there’s no way William managed to woo a girl like that.”

Natasha chuckled throatily, trying to contain the full burst of laughter that truly wanted to come out. She was coming to appreciate her time spent with David, a man who clearly shared many similar thoughts to her and had no problem saying them out loud. 

“This party is as riveting as watching paint dry, and I think I’ve stayed my obligatory time, I’m going to head out? Are you staying?” David asked as he put his drink down against the bar, dusting his hands off.

“Just a little longer,” Natasha answered. It didn’t feel like she had gotten enough intel on anything other than whatever William was hiding was most likely off base. Not to even mention she hadn’t seen you tonight either. 

“Alright,” David said, taking a step forward before turning to her. “If you’re not doing anything tomorrow, come to my estate and have lunch with me.”

Natasha raised her brow at David but nodded, bidding him goodbye as he left. For another 45 minutes, she made an effort to talk to more people at the party, easily being able to identify who would be sponsoring and donating to William’s campaign. There were a couple of men and women she made a mental note to look into more as they were clearly radicals. 

After Natasha felt like she had done enough for the night, she made a move to leave. As she passed the balcony though, she caught a similar silhouette. She opened the door quietly, pushing through the thick red curtain to find you standing out there alone against the railing. You were wearing another long-sleeved dress that revealed nothing but your curves.

Natasha closed the door softly, content that it shut out the unintelligible noises from inside. 

“Are you not enjoying the party?”

You whipped around, body tensed with a sharp turn of your head at Natasha’s presence. 

“I--”

You coughed lightly, a blush dusting your cheeks as you admitted slowly, “I don’t fit in well with this type of crowd.”

That was interesting, Natasha thought.

From what Natasha knew, you were from an affluential family, although you did just make it out of bankruptcy. 

This was supposed to be your crowd. 

“That’s alright. You’re all the better for not fitting in.” Natasha walked up to the ledge next to you, resting her elbow up before propping her chin on it. There was a slight breeze that brushed against Natasha’s fingers. 

She looked over subtly to you, her eyes drawing down to your neatly trimmed nails, spotting a small line of paint just on the side of your ring finger. Natasha ran her tongue along the inside of her mouth at the sight.

You had your head tilted downwards and slightly to the side, it gave a great view of your slender neck and defined collarbone as you had a soft smile to what Natasha had said.

It was the small things like this that caused the confusion in Natasha. 

You had chosen a man like William Cain to be your husband, and for some reason, Natasha couldn’t ignore that. 

But Natasha could feel that a direct approach with you would cause you to close yourself off. She needed to be careful. 

“And what about you, Miss Rovinski? Are you someone who fits in?” You asked quietly in return.

It was quiet for a moment, and Natasha licked her bottom lip slowly.

“I guess you can say I fit in anywhere but belong nowhere,” Natasha admitted quietly, and when she went to see your expression, it was as if you were not surprised by the answer. 

Perhaps seeing that quality in Natasha.

“Do you want to know something interesting?” Natasha asked, and it seemed the question surprised you, but you nodded, albeit a little hesitantly.

“A few days ago I went to a local café in the morning, and I had overheard a conversation between two men who couldn’t understand how society, women, in particular, were so invested in art and fashion. There was too much emphasis on art, and it was overrated.”

Natasha caught your nervousness at the statement and quirked her lips.

“I didn’t agree with the sentiment as they commented on how the café looked bare and too plain--a problem only art could solve, isn’t that right?”

You hadn’t quite reacted to Natasha’s story, unsure where she was really going with this.

“I went to an artist’s gallery opening a couple months ago, and it featured a painting of a local village she had experienced in her travels. It was filled with such vibrant colors, sharp and soft. No words had accompanied the painting, yet people crowded around it, overwhelmed with emotion. Some people cried, some laughed loudly, and some were echoed by the image--are you understanding me?”

You nodded slowly.

“So, I’ve decided that sometimes art is the only thing that can draw out what people may truly be feeling, leaves a mark that words cannot reach,” Natasha said as she looked up at the starry sky. 

Natasha turned back and gave you a quiet, warm smile. “That’s why I envy artists sometimes for being able to reach people in a different light.”

The hesitance and stiffness in you melted away with Natasha’s words, a rare genuine smile gracing your lips for her. 

Natasha pulled back her arms, looking towards the door.

This was enough for tonight. 

Natasha was leaving before your voice stopped her.

“Thank you...your words have reached me...and they make me incredibly happy.”

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Natasha stood in front of two large mahogany doors before they opened to reveal Davidl standing there.

“Natanya, you made it! Did you find it okay?” He greeted her, pulling her into a slight hug and kisses on either side of her cheeks. 

“Yes, my driver seemed to know exactly where he was going.” It seemed like all luxurious private drivers knew where the big players were. 

“Come on in, I’ve got someone preparing us tea and lunch. Are you allergic to anything or any preferences?” David asked as he ushered her in. It was quite a walk to his patio outside. A full garden with a pond and fountain that was well maintained was the view. 

“No, anything will be fine,” Natasha said as she took her seat, placing her small purse onto the table. 

David sat across from her, crossing his legs so that his ankle rested against his thigh, and temple resting against his knuckles.

“Someone else will be coming too,” David said with a casual smile. “My boyfriend.”

Natasha raised her brow. That had explained some things. 

“Why tell me that? What if I was extremely homophobic?” Natasha asked, only to see what David would say.

David let out a genuine laughter.

“Please,” he said after his laugh. “We flock together like birds. I’ve seen you eyeing various women throughout the parties--and men, although it looked like you were eyeing them begrudgingly.”

Natasha wasn’t sure if David had a better eye than she thought or if his gaydar was just that good, either way, she did feel a little exposed.

“What’s your boyfriend like?” Natasha asked, changing the topic from her.

David smiled softly, “Liam’s a photographer. He doesn’t come from money which I like. He’ll call me out on my shit if he thinks I’m being a dickhead. You should see him when I try to do extravagant things.”

David was chuckling by the end of it, the softness bringing a small smile to Natasha’s lips.

“Do your parents know?” Natasha asked.

“Yep,” David sighs. “They think it’s just a phase, but Liam is the one for me, I’m pretty sure. Since I’m the only child, my parents haven’t cut me off yet because they want me to take over the business. Once they see how serious I am, I have no idea how they’ll react. I’m fully prepared to be cut off, but Liam’s been teaching me about putting money away in case that happens.”

Natasha couldn’t help but smile at how endearing this all sounded, a rich man with learning how to save and budget from his financially average boyfriend.

The rest of the afternoon, they had made small idle chat until Liam arrived. He was a pretty athletically fit man, taller than David and nearly hovering over him. He had a boyish soft charm, yet intensity to him that made Natasha see why David was so enamored.

“I saw William today leaving from my photoshoot,” Liam commented as he finished up his meal. 

“Oh?” David commented, disinterestedly. 

“Yeah,” Liam continued. “He was standing outside a café with someone I haven’t recognized from any of the parties or his campaign. He seemed pretty angry with whoever he was talking to since he was shouting and flailing his arms.”

That piqued Natasha’s attention. 

“Oh, wow,” Natasha commented. “What café was it?”

“The one on 18th. There’s a whole bunch of cafés down that street.”

Natasha hummed, storing that information for later. 

The rest of the lunch went smooth, and eventually, David took them inside to his living area. 

Natasha looked at the photos around the room, a lot of it being childhood photos of David. She was intrigued to see so many pictures of him and another boy. It wasn’t until she found a high school photo of David and the man next to him a younger version of William. 

“Wow, you guys really were family friends,” Natasha commented as she took the photo from the ledge to look at it closer.

David hummed. 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “We were actually pretty close back in high school and a little through university.”

“What changed?” Natasha asked because it was clear now that David hated the other man.

David leaned his head on his fist against the chair as Liam sat next to him. “He was always arrogant, don’t get me wrong. But you could tell he cared about things, I guess. I think it all started to change after his dad died midway the first year of university.”

“Oh, it was a car accident, right?” Natasha inquired. That was what was on his file.

David pursed his lip, looking around his home as if to see if anyone else was there. 

“That’s what his family wanted officially published. But the truth is, we don’t really know for sure.”

That was interesting, Natasha thought. Her file should’ve had that. Why was his father’s death so tight-lipped?

She would have to do more digging on that because whatever it was, it was clearly a changing point for William. 

The subject dropped, and they chatted for about another hour before Natasha decided that it was time to go.

“Oh!” David exclaimed before she was leaving. “Before you go, my parents are hosting their 40th anniversary next weekend. Here’s your invitation. I know you’re going to see William and his fiancé...please give this to them.”

“I swear you rich people have a party every week,” Liam mumbled.

Natasha took the invitations, raising her brow at David. Clearly, the man just didn’t want to see William. He smiled widely at her trying to look innocent, and Natasha could only roll her eyes. 

David gave her a parting hug while Liam shook her hand.

This afternoon turned out to be more fulfilling than she thought it was going to be.

She had some useful information to work with. 

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Maria: Sorry, there’s nothing on his father’s death other than it being a car accident. We’ve even got all the records pulled for the coroner's report and the police records. All points to a car accident. I sent you the photos too. 

Natasha sighed frustratedly as she threw her phone next to her on the couch. 

Fuck, she thought. How could that be? It was evident that within the inner circle, that wasn’t how the man died. 

Why could they pull nothing? 

She supposed she wouldn’t find out unless she got into the inner circle. 

On the bright side, Natasha managed to find who William was talking to at the café by hacking into the street cameras to find the photos of them. 

It was a rather rugged-looking man, definitely not someone who belongs in the affluent circle. She had sent the photos off to see what they could come up with when she got back from lunch that day. 

Her phone dinged again, this time with information sent to her.

The man’s name was Emilio Vartez. Nothing out of the usual other than petty crimes, but the fact that William was associating himself with someone like that was already telling. 

She needed to see if she could find this Emilio Vartez.

Her phone dinged again, but this time to remind her that she needed to stop by The Cain estates. She had scheduled her meeting with William today, and it would be a chance to drop off David’s invitations as well. 

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“I’m so sorry, Miss Rovinski. Mr. Cain had a sudden work emergency that just came up. He had to leave right away. I’m not too sure when he’ll be back, but he will be reaching back out to you to reschedule.”

William’s assistant was near bowing at Natasha who had simply raised her hand to show it was a no big deal. 

“That’s fine,” Natasha told the assistant to stop her from apologizing. “Actually is the soon-to-be Mrs. Cain here? I need to drop off an invitation.”

The assistant actually looked hesitant to tell Natasha where you were, but it was like she reminded herself that you were now public.

“Oh, yes,” the assistant coughed after a moment. “She’s in her art studio. It’s on the second level, the farthest room in the back. I’m sorry, I would walk you, but I really have to meet up with one of the campaign managers right now.”

Natasha shook her head, “That’s fine, really. I’m sure I will find her. If not, I’ll play Marco-Polo with her.” 

The assistant let out a burst of loud laughter that made Natasha internally jump. 

The assistant laughed the entire way out, and Natasha stood there blinking until she was gone.

After that, Natasha followed the assistant’s directions. She would’ve taken longer to snoop around, but since she already knew she wouldn’t find anything, she went straight to her destination. 

Natasha could see you through the clear window on the door. The studio was large in size, blank canvases and easels lined up on one side. You had your back turned to Natasha in a large men’s dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up in front of a canvas, various paint tubes everywhere. 

Natasha entered the room quietly, just observing you. You head was tilted with your thumb in the middle of the canvas, your paintbrush delicately held between your lips.

“What are you drawing?” 

You jumped as you turned around, paintbrush falling from your mouth. The brush rolled until it hit Natasha’s foot.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Natasha said as she picked up the brush to hand it to you. 

You had your hair in a bun, strands have fallen out. Demurely, you brushed a strand behind your ear as you regarded Natasha. 

“I’m here to give you an invitation to the King’s party next week.”

“I suppose David didn’t want to see William?” You asked with a little mirth in your tone that made Natasha quirk her lips. 

“You know about David’s...feelings?”

“He doesn’t exactly keep it a secret,” you say, delicately opening the envelope. 

“It doesn’t bother you that he feels that way about your husband?”

You merely smiled lopsidedly. 

“My fiancé,” you corrected subtly, “is a politician.”

That’s all you said to explain, but Natasha understood the unsaid words. She eyed your canvas again and looked at your prep work. 

“Watercolor?”

To her surprise, a light blush dusted your cheeks.

“It’s my favorite,” you quietly admitted. 

“Why?” Natasha pried.

You looked at your easel, the faint pencil sketches on your canvas.

“I like that it’s transparent,” you said so faintly that Natasha almost didn’t catch it.

Suddenly, you turned back to face Natasha, eyeing her.

“Do you like the color black?” You asked as you caught onto her black cashmere turtleneck. 

“I do,” Natasha admitted.

“Would you like to hear something interesting about it?” You were looking at Natasha so calmly, it was bringing something out in her.

“Yes.”

“People think that the color black only symbolizes unhappiness, grief, and misery, but studies show that people who are powerful wear the color black--lawyers, judges, Steve Jobs.”

Natasha laughed a little at the last one. 

“Want to hear more?” You said, smiling as Natasha nodded.

“They say people who like the color black are mysterious and like to keep a certain boundary between them and the outside world.”

Natasha tilted her head. “Do you think that of me?”

“I believe only time will let me know.”

You stood up, walking by Natasha before she reached out and grabbed your wrist softly. The action seemed to surprise you as your arm pressed against the sleeve of her shirt.

“Do you like the color green?” Natasha asked as you had shades of green painted across your arm.

“At the moment, yes,” you replied.

“Would you like to know something interesting about it?” Natasha asked, repeating you. You smiled in response.

“Doctors use the color green to help relieve the fatigue in their eyes from the blood during operations, it helps them focus on examining wounds in better detail.”

You tilted your head at the fact, intrigued.

“Want to hear more?” Natasha asked, smiling herself when you nodded.

“They say kind, loyal, and compassionate people pick green as their favorite color.”

You swallowed at the words, overwhelmed by it, but Natasha could tell you were grateful nonetheless. When she released your wrist, your eyes were drawn to the streak of green smudged on her sweater.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, let me get that fo--”

“It’s alright,” Natasha interrupted you, looking at the splash of color on her sleeve. “I think your green goes well against my black.”

When she looked up, you swallowed deeply at her emerald eyes that just peered into you. Natasha was already walking towards the door before she looked back at you, bidding you goodbye for now with a definitive voice.

“I’ll see you soon.”

When Natasha walked out the front door, she clenched her jaw. 

It was only a second, but it made all the difference to Natasha. 

You had jumped before she spoke. 

You weren’t surprised--or scared. 

You expected her to be there.  

PART III

[kweebtrash]

Do It Well (M)

Messy Ch. 3

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: light mentions of BDSM, light mentions of night terrors

Features: several POV changes, masturbation, disappointing sex, sleepy sex, thigh grinding, fingering, lots of kissing, mentions of anal, mentions of bondage

Word Count: around 13k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. ‘Johnathan’ is Johnny’s contact name in Eri’s phone when she doesn’t particularly care about him lol. 

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi  Other Stories

Johnny's POV

I could barely sleep. My body insisted on tossing and turning indecisively. Each turn made my head spin and for awhile i just laid in the darkness, feeling the pulsating in my ears. The temperature in my room was fluctuating on my skin and my stomach was starting to churn into a pit of nausea. I set my hands over my eyes and tried to relax. I was clinging onto the fact that maybe her voice had brought me out of my night terror. Nothing ever freed me from them and I spent countless nights just scratching and clawing my way out all on my own. Calling her had been a mistake; just a weird accident. The problem was actually trying to convince myself of that fact. My heart raced at the prospect of her being some unhealthy cure for me to rely on.

I sat up slowly, pushing my hair back and feeling how sweat drenched it was. My bangs were getting long and had stuck to my forehead, the simple sensation making my sensitive skin crawl. Though my entire being felt heavy I managed to heave myself off the bed and head out to the kitchen. I walked through the still darkness of the apartment trying desperately not to run into anything. I felt my way to the fridge, opening the door and letting the light illuminate my still naked frame. With the water pitcher and cup in hand i guzzled down two full glasses. I set the cup down and braced myself against the counter, trying to focus on getting it together. I glanced at the time on the microwave- 6:13 am. I had to be up for work at 7 and had gotten less than 5 hours of sleep. I rubbed my temples and kicked the fridge door shut before heading back to my room.

I collapsed onto my mattress, my limbs spread out as i begged for a heavier breeze to filter through my open window. It was useless to attempt sleep now. I felt around for my phone, finding it still beside my pillow. I scrolled through the backlog of messages from the group chat until I stumbled upon the picture that Yuta had posted. When he initially sent it, i tried my best to pay no attention to it. I wasn't one for taking pictures of the people I hooked up with. Too many things could go wrong like a haphazard revenge plot. Knowing all the chicks i pissed off my dick would be plastered all over the internet if i had taken nudes. For some reason though, Yuta's photo gave off an air of nonconsent. I didn’t know for sure but it wasn’t something I was down with. Maybe Eri liked the attention or posing like that. I mean she liked just about everything else anyway. I bit my lip as i started to focus more and more on the picture. The deep violet ropes were tied into intricate patterns on her thighs and calves. Her knees were practically pushed up to ears, putting her on display. Her perfect lips were wrapped around that gag and her eyes were invisible under a blindfold.

I swallowed hard as i felt a twitch between my thighs. The camera flash had caught the glistening of her lips and accented the thick dildo stuffed inside her. Already my mind was creating flashes of fantasies and i was suddenly watching her hips squirm. I could practically hear the soft mewls and sighs she was trying to make around that gag. I wasn’t one for all that kinky shit but I’d be damned if I would give up the opportunity to fuck her like that. My right hand drifted to my stomach, my fingertips getting dangerously close to my cock. The longer I stared at the picture the harder I was becoming.

I guess it wasn't so wrong. I mean, we had fucked twice now. I knew what she looked like naked. This was like the equivalent of looking at dirty magazines like how I did when I was younger. I exhaled softly and tossed my phone beside me. The picture was already burned into my skull and the only thing i saw when my eyes were closed. I shifted a bit, settling into the mattress, as I spread my thighs and wrapped my hand around myself. The first few strokes helped fill my palm completely. I would squeeze around my head every so often before sliding back down to my base. I was imagining how deep I could be inside her, how warm and tight she would feel beneath me. The sweet smell of her perfume would fill my nostrils as I buried my face in her neck, covering her skin with rough bites. My teeth marks always looked perfect, as if they belonged on her. She would probably have something sarcastic to say at some point and I would have to shut her up with a deep kiss. The way she submitted to my tongue and let me control everything about our kisses made my entire body shudder.

I pulled my hand up to my mouth then, licking from the bottom of my palm to the tips of my fingers to add a bit of wetness to my strokes. They flowed smoother against my heated veins prompting me to spread my thighs further apart. I fisted my hand around my head trying to mimic the feeling of her muscles clenching around me. My teeth were digging into my bottom lip, the back of my head burying into my pillow as i started pushing my hips upward to meet my hand. Her name was popping up in between flashes of that picture. I barely noticed that i had actually been whispering it until I heard it mixed with a heavy groan.

Was i actually doing that? I was always too shy to make any sounds higher than a sigh but what the fuck was i doing moaning this loud? I covered my mouth quickly hoping to all hell that Jae couldn't hear me jacking off from the other side of the thin wall separating our rooms. It was bad enough that my hand was slapping against my skin as i jerked myself harder. I stilled my movements for a second, making sure that I couldn’t hear him stirring. It gave me a few moments to collect myself though I knew I was already close. Eri just had an affect on me that I despised and craved in every way. When I deemed the coast clear, i resumed my rough pulls, rolling my hips until they lifted off the mattress. I dug my toes into the bedding, keeping my feet firm as I fucked up into my hand. Fuck...just a little more. A little bit more of my cock falling deeper inside Eri. A little bit more of the way her tits bounced with every thrust. A little bit more of those lust filled gazes that begged me to make her cum. Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…

My free hand flew to my hair grabbing it hard as thick ropes of cum painted my stomach in hot spurts. I left go of my shaft and squeezed at my balls, milking every last bit I had. My thighs were trembling just a bit as I worked to straighten out my cramped legs. There was a slight burn in my calf muscles and I flexed my toes trying to get the blood to circulate again instead of being pooled at my dick. I finally opened my eyes and exhaled deeply.

Jesus…

My cum was already starting to settle into a stickiness that i hated. Now was as good a time as ever to get up and shower. Getting out of bed was becoming a nuisance and i was getting real fucking tired of having to be a functioning adult. But who knows, maybe I'd get to work on time and actually be able to eat a breakfast sandwich and drink some coffee.

I grumbled as i got up and made my way to bathroom, trying not to slam the door shut. I turned on the faucet and put the shower on blast before stepping in. I shoved my head under the boiling spray as if it would somehow wash away all the dirty thoughts i just had about Eri.

--

Eri’s POV

Wyd?

Johnny's infamous line- which was code for ‘do you want to fuck?’- flashed across the bottom of a new snapchat picture he had sent me. His hand was behind his head as he reclined back in his bed, shirtless. The angle of the picture seemed to be high up and if i squinted hard enough I could see a faint mark on his ribcage. Was that a bite mark or a hickey? I stared at the unending picture as he didn't bother to set a timer for it, scrutinizing the details as I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

“You alright in there?” I heard Ten say from outside of the bathroom door.

I jumped up at his sudden voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine!” Damn Ten for interrupting my investigation. My eyes retreated to the picture, traveling down Johnny’s abs to that diabolical happy tail that never failed to make my thighs clench. That was when I saw it. Just at the edge of the screen there was a flash of blonde hair while gaudy sparkling pink nails rested on his hip. Had he really just asked me to fuck while another chick was still laid up in his bed? What the hell was wrong with him?

“What a fuckin’ cuckwad! Ugh, i HATE him!”

Ten poked his head in. “Uh….you alright?”

I resisted the urge to throw my phone at him. It wasn’t Ten’s fault that Johnny was a disgusting pig but I just couldn’t help the rage I felt boiling under my skin. “Nothing, I’m fine.” I lied as I got up from the toilet and grabbed my shorts from the floor.

“Did you uh...have trouble getting the plug in our something?” He followed after me quickly and I flopped onto the bed face down, taking caution not to disturb the plug he had coerced into wiggling inside me.

“No, i got it in fine.”

“You seemed pissed off…”

“I’m not.”

He eased his lithe body on top of me, placing soft kisses to my cheek and neck. “Kitten, don’t lie to me. Would me fucking you senseless help with your aggression?”

I rolled my eyes at his half sarcastic statement. “No. I just…” I didn't want to say that I was angry that Johnny had snapped me while he was with one of his stupid chickenheads. Wasn't it written somewhere in the fuckboy rule book to keep your tricks separate from one another anyway? I wasn't jealous of course. Just disgusted by his stupidity and carelessness. Quinn was far from right. I wasn't getting soft, especially not over this prick. “Nevermind. I'm fine.” I sighed and stared at the now empty notification box beside his username.

“Johnny got you fucked up?”

I almost slammed my head into Ten's at his salacious quip. “Excuse me?!”

“Well you're staring at his snapchat like it's going to kill you. What did he do now?”

“Nothing. I don't care about him or whatever he sent me.” I set my head down onto the mattress and tried to convince myself that I was unbothered by it all. Ten snatched my phone out of my hand and opened the in app camera.

“Since when have you ever been a pouty baby over some dick? C'mere.” He forced my head up again and attacked my lips with a deep and invading kiss. I couldnt help the small whimper I made as i clutched at his shoulder, trying to keep up with his sudden forcefulness. When he pulled away, a smirk was on his lips while I was still trying to catch my breath.

“What was that..?” I panted softly.

“Now Johnny can see just how busy you are and leave us the fuck alone. You're mine tonight and you know that.” He quickly typed something on my phone before handing it back to me. “Now he knows too.”

“What did you do, you little shit?” I questioned.

“Oh nothing… but if I'm not mistaken you're not supposed to be able to talk.”

Before i knew it he had removed himself from on top of me and tossed me on my back. My legs spread open easily as he looked down at me. His hands ran over my thighs and I could tell that behind those devilish eyes he was plotting something. I was going to be at his mercy. I worked tomorrow and needed to keep the marks to a minimum so I wouldn't be able to be my normal bratty self and put up a good struggle. Even though I hated being completely obedient i kept my mouth shut and only watched in curiosity. Ten slid off the bed, commanding me not to move, while he retreated to his closet. I heard the jingle of buckles and the hard snap of leather. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before Ten trapped my wrists within the confines of the leather cuffs. He hooked them onto his headboard, making sure that I wouldn’t try and squirm away.

“You ready?”

--

Johnny's POV

Busy. Tch.

Busy.

I dont know why that stupid video annoyed me. I could give a rat's ass about her being gross with Ten but she didnt have to send it to me. It was bad enough that she was blowing me off to do whatever kinky shit they did. What the hell could he do that I couldn't? Tie her up or some shit? Please, that was hardly enough skill to make anyone cum. I grit my teeth and tossed my phone to the floor not wanting to think about her bullshit.

“What are you doing looking at your phone when I'm here?” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and I had regretted ever inviting this chick to my place. It was a spur of the moment thing. I guess someone who i had hooked up with a while ago was friends with her and she managed to find me on instagram. She was close by and i wanted to use her to get my mind off Eri. That took a turn for the worse. I had fingered her and she blew me. I came but it was far from orgasmic or spectacular. It was mediocre at best and my body seemed to have just gone through the standard reactions to get her to believe that she had made me feel good. Hell, I couldn't even remember her name. While we were in our rest period, I started to think about how much better Eri felt, against my better judgement. Our sex was on a whole other level and I knew she would be able to get me off better than this bimbo ever could. That was when I bit the bullet and snapped her. I guess it just didn't cross my mind that it was already Thursday and she had her little “date” with Ten.

Now, whatever the fuck her name was, was whining and trying to coax my attention back to her. She was practically begging me to fuck her in the most unappealing way. I tried my best to hide my eye roll and fake a smile all while avoiding her kisses. I wasn't in the mood for that...intimacy. Especially not with someone who I didnt think deserved it and probably slobbered like a dog. I guided my fucktoy's head instead to my neck, making up an excuse about how good her kisses felt elsewhere. I didn't want to fuck her, not one bit, but this annoyance and anger wouldn't get out of my head. I didn't care about making her feel good. I didn't care about touching her and I sure as hell didn't care if I made her cum. I just needed to fuck the irritation away.

It was 0 to 100 in seconds flat. I threw a condom on and went full force, balls deep inside her, angrily staring at the wall as every single last nerve in my body was worked. I could feel the vein in my neck throbbing as my teeth clenched again. I was slamming into her faster as I glared at the cracks and patterns in the drywall. They were morphing into weird shapes and making my eyes blur. I blinked a few times, trying to refocus but her voice was piercing through my eardrums. Great, a screamer. There was nothing I hated more than screamers. The grating sound just triggered something in the back of my mind that made me want to snap. I wasn't doing anything special at all yet she was screaming like it was the best dick she'd ever had. Maybe it was, or maybe she was faking it. Either way, it didn't matter. But now i had to try not to think about Eri and block out the annoying sounds.

I pressed her face into the surrounding pillows, hoping to muffle her enough that I could cum in peace. My fingers were digging into the back of her neck and her left hip as I focused my thrusts to go as deep as possible. My knees were already starting to give way a bit from having her bent over and ramming her from behind so hard so i was wishing for a swift ending. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to zero in on the feeling of her wrapped around me but even then it was starting to feel like my skin was crawling. I tried to mask my sigh as a deep breath and not let it be known that Ms. Instagram Hookup was giving me a splitting headache. I edged my ear down to my shoulder, hearing the quick snap of the vertebrae in my neck as I tried to shake it off. I was boring daggers into the back of her skull now as she gripped the pillow and twisted it in her fists, her screams still vibrant as ever.

If only she was…

If only she had soft quiet moans that she tried to hide behind her pillowy soft lips. If only her skin felt like silk whenever it ghosted over mine. If only her nails dug into my back as she held onto me for dear life as she got closer and closer to her orgasm. If only i could trace her tattoos with my tongue and bite down on that little sensitive area by her-

Nonononono. I couldn't think about her. Not now. This couldn't happen, not when i was trying to-. Goddammit...it was useless. I could already feel myself swelling just at the prospect of Eri replacing this idiot. Why did Eri have to feel so fucking good? She was infecting my brain like a parasite and I wanted her out asap. I hated it. But god, i needed her. I kept thinking about her until this blonde dissolved into the new image of sensuality and lust i craved. My mind roamed to this morning when I saw that picture of her and made myself cum so hard that my thighs shook. I replayed her sweet shy voice saying what I desperately wanted to hear. Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…

“Fuck, Eri…” I breathed out as my entire body shuddered and my orgasm hit me suddenly. Warmth spilled all over my cock as i rode out every last bit that I could, never wanting to let go of that feeling of cumming so deep inside her. She would reopen those scratches she left behind Monday afternoon and clamp down on me so tight that my breath would disappear. I felt a smirk cross my lips as I finally opened my eyes. Eri was gone now that the reality hit me and I was faced with my current nightmare. I could tell by the way her pale skin was turning tomato read that she was pissed off. Had I really just said Eri’s name out loud? I kicked myself internally as she shoved me off her and i fell back onto the bed.

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

--

Eri’s POV

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked as I stumbled into the apartment. It was almost 2am and my body was threatening to give out on me.

“Yeah, yeah. Just...the usual shit with Ten.” I kicked off my converses and went over to the kitchen to see what I could snack on. I needed something to give me some semblance of energy.

“What did he do this time?” They said in between crunches to some chips.

“What didn’t he do is always the better question. My thighs and ass are all marked up and bruised from him spanking me and hitting me the the leather paddle. There are bite marks on my hips and they hurt really fucking bad. My clit feels like it’s gonna fall off from all the vibrations and my ass is so sore from him plowing into it.” I found a solitary granola bar in the cabinet and ripped open the wrapper before stuffing half of it into my mouth. “He was trying to not give me any visible marks but that’s like asking a kid to say they don’t want candy.”

“Why do you do this to yourself? Every single time you come home exhausted and complaining. Maybe you should just try having regular sex.”

“I do have regular sex! I literally have regular sex with everyone else, that’s why I don’t do it with Ten or Yuta. Besides, I may complain about it but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t feel good.” I shuffled over to the couch and laid down, setting my head on their chest. “Pet my hair and tell me I’m not an idiot for doing this.”

“I’ll pet your hair but I’m not too sure about the last part.” They chuckled. I sighed softly as their fingers scratched at my scalp ever so slightly. My eyes were just starting to close when they mentioned that name that I was trying to forget about. “Have you heard anything from Johnny?”

I sat up straight. “Let me fuckin’ tell you what this bitch ass fuck boy sack of shit did to me!”

“OOOOOHHH fuck, what’s the teaaaaaa? I’m ready, lay it on me!”

“I was over at Ten’s, obvi, and he sent me a snap asking me his typical w-y-d.”

“So basically, do you want to fuck?” They said.

“Yes! But get this- he had another girl laid up in his bed when he sent me the snap.” I was almost screaming at this point, the vengefulness returning in a sudden burst.

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. He asked you if you wanted to fuck, after he had fucked some other chick and was still laying in bed with her?”

“YUP.”

“Wow...that’s...you know we should honestly expect the absolute worst from him since he’s literally a fuck boy but it’s still pretty shitty. Especially that he wanted to fuck you after he was done with her. At least take a shower or something.” They sighed. “Are you gonna get with him again though?”

“God, no. He’s a tool and I literally have a bunch of other people I can be with. He can kick rocks.”

“Oh...good.”

There was an air of silence between us which made me uneasy. “Why do you ask?”

They shrugged, quickly. “I mean, not really a particular reason. I’ve just been kinda screwing around with Jae more so I didn’t want it to be too weird since they’re roommates and all and I may invite him over. His room is a disgusting dumpster fire and I hate being in there with him.”

“Oh. No, yeah, that’s totally fine. I don’t care about that. I thought you were going to say you were going to try and get with Johnny or something.”

“I mean...it wouldn’t particularly matter because you guys were never together and only fucked twice. It wouldn’t make sense for you to be upset about it. If it was to happen I mean- all hypothetical and shit. But I’m a good friend and he’s gross so I’ll just stick to Lucas, Jae, Taeyong, Yuta, Taeil, and any other ones I happen to find along the way.”

“Wait a minute. Taeil? As in hot library, red undercut, ‘I spent all that time chilling with him at the party’ Taeil?” I asked. There was a bit of venom in my voice as this was just about to add another layer of irritation to my already peaking anger.

“Yeah, him! I went to the library because I actually needed some help but then we got to talking and stuff and it just kinda happened. It was so cute because he was a virgin and he had been so shy when I was flirting with him. He’s also really good at giving head. Like obnoxiously good for a virgin.”

“Well I guess that’s one more person I can say that I wanted to get with but you got to him first.” I rolled my eyes and got up slowly from the couch. “I’m gonna go to bed now.”

“Aww, Eri, you can still have him! You don’t like virgins anyway. Remember what happened with-”

“Yes.” I snapped. “I remember. It’s fine. I actually need help for my class so I will ask him to help me study. You know, real study so I can actually pass.”

I saw the pout on Quinn’s face and would almost feel bad about my wisecrack if it wasn’t for the fact that this always happened. It wasn’t my fault that all they did was laze around and barely go to their classes because they couldn’t figure out what they wanted to do with their life. I didn’t even try to disguise my eyeroll and instead retreated to my room, shutting the door tightly behind me. Fridays were my off days from classes and I didn’t have to go into work early. I could use the day to recover and I would be back in time before the radio show. The radio show…

I frowned just at the thought of hearing Johnny’s voice coming through the speakers. I wouldn’t listen to it tomorrow. No way in hell. I was going to block out every possible trace of him. I tossed off my clothes and pulled on an oversized shirt and some shorts before burrowing under my comforter. I wanted to be a silent burrito that could disappear under the safety of my blanket and never resurface. I closed my eyes and curled up into my usual fetal position, ready to settle into sleep when I heard my phone vibrate. I had tossed it onto the bed while I changed and it was buzzing beside my head now. I sighed and pulled it close to me, annoyed at the brightness of the screen. I had thought it would be Ten, telling me that I had forgotten something at his place but instead it was a text message from the last person i wanted to have contact with.

Johnathan: had fun with ten?

I shoved my face into my pillow and screamed. I wanted to throw my phone across the room but all i could do was think about a dozen or so things I wanted to say back to him. It to burn, to sting, and piss him off as much as he pissed me off. I decided to snap a quick picture of the bite marks that trailed up my thighs towards my hips. I sent it off with a retort;

Oh tons. Way better than what you probably had with malibu barbie

A few minutes passed by without a response and I thought I had gotten rid of him until my phone lit up again.

Johnathan: what?

Johnathan: who’s malibu barbie?

I rolled my eyes and turned onto my left side to try and ease the pressure on my bites.

The blonde chick you forgot to cut out of your snap. I saw her. Dont particularly like being a booty call after you’ve fucked someone else.

Johnathan: Oh...

Johnathan: that’s why i wanted you to come over

Johnathan: but fuck me i guess

Johnanthan: or not lol

You’re literally a fuckin’ douche, you know that?

Johnathan: eh so i’ve been told.

Johnathan: but like what’s the big deal anyway? You fuck a bunch of people too

Yah but i’m not an asshole about it

Johnathan: that video begs to differ. You think i wanted to see ten shoving his tongue down ur throat?

He took my phone, i didn’t even know he was recording

Johnathan: still gross

Johnathan: but whatever

Johnathan: i’ve got other people to fuck

So do i asshole.

Johnathan: cool

Johnathan: see ya

I flipped my phone over making sure that i could ignore the light from the screen. Nothing came from that conversation except him proving that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I pulled my comforter to my neck and could already feel the tension headache mounting. I was fine with never talking to him again. He dug that hole for himself. Maybe i would still go after Taeil. If he really was as good at head as Quinn had made him out to be he was already a thousand times better than Johnny in my book.

--

Johnny's POV

It had been close to two weeks since that fiasco where I said Eri’s name when I was in bed with that other girl. I hadn’t told anyone about it and I hoped to all hell that she hadn’t said anything either. College chicks were notorious for talking shit behind everyone’s back. Last thing I needed was word to get out and it ruining my reputation of the “hit it and quit it” king. I would never hear the end of it from the group chat.

It had also been two weeks since Eri and I’s final conversation. There wasn’t a single text or snap exchanged between us. We barely even acknowledged each other during class. I sat as far away from her as possible and she always left the second the professor let us out. I didn’t bother to try and reach out to her either. Maybe it was just better this way. The further away from her I was the better. My body felt like it was going through the ringer anyway- alternating between going to the gym, my three jobs, and school- i was hardly getting any sleep. My classes were blasting me with projects left and right, I had to make more promotions for the club I Dj’d at on top of performing there, Jae and I had to constantly make up new material for our radio show, my bartending job wanted me to work weekdays now, and what’s worse was I hadn’t even had time for any hookups. My bed had been barren even though I had gotten plenty of offers. Dozens of messages were left on read and I was almost starting to think I’d never get any ass with how busy I was. I couldn't catch a break.

I had a closing shift today and halfway into the afternoon rush I was ready to book it. My shoulders were already killing me and my feet were throbbing in my work boots. Only 5 more hours to go. I sighed softly as I set down the frappuccino on the counter, calling out the customer's name before heading back to the register to take care of the next one. “What can i get you?” I hadn’t really bothered to look up as I was used to customers just blurting out their orders as soon as they got to the counter. When that didn’t happened I glanced up over the rim of my glasses and wanted to scream.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

“What are you doing here?” I spat.

“I guess I can’t go anywhere around this town without seeing your ass around.” She replied.

“It could possibly be because we go to the same college, have the same class, and now you’re in the damn coffee shop I work at.”

“I can’t get a coffee now, either?”

“You can get it and leave.”

“Well that’s no way to talk to a customer. Maybe I should speak to your manager.” Eri smirked as she glared up at me.

Just my fucking luck. Of course she would show up right when I was starting to finally ignore all the little intrusive thoughts about her. I had been doing okay the last week or so. My glances towards her in class were winding down to a minimum and I could at least jack off without thinking about her now. I was starting not to care entirely and she had to invade my world yet again. I sighed and fixed the frames on my face. She was just another annoying customer that was ready to push all my buttons. “Seriously, what do you want? To order I mean.” I said flatly.

She glanced up at the menu, drumming her fingers against her chin and taking her sweet ass time pretending to think her options over. I rolled my eyes before surveying her outfit choice. She looked dressed up for something which was strange to see. I had been so used to her grungy ‘never got over my scene phase' attire that it caught me off guard. She had on a black button up shirt and tight dress pants that looked like they could barely hold in her thick thighs. I settled on her thighs way too long, thinking back to the night when all i could do was imagine how good Eri would feel instead of the girl I was fucking. I internally cursed at myself. Thinking of that shit was the last thing I needed right now. Maybe it was my lack of fucking that made my brain start to devote my entire thought process to her. I wanted my hands fisted around her wrists as I fucked into her so hard that she wrapped her legs around my waist. I wanted to make her moan my name into my ear as we came hard together. My mouth was starting to go dry a bit as I swam through an ocean of lust in my head. I had barely heard her order.

“H-huh?” I blinked a few times as i stopped spacing out.

“I said a vanilla chai latte with two pumps of cinnamon” She repeated. “Please.” She enunciated the last word with such passive aggressive sweetness. What a little shit.

“Oh, right. Uh...what size?”

“Hmm...” She bit on her thumbnail coyly. She was lucky there wasn't anyone behind her. She was taking her sweet ass time and i wanted to know why.

“You know i dont have all day.” I managed to finally spit out.

“Fuck off, I’m just trying to figure out how much i need to get me through work. I'll take a grande though.”

I nodded and rang her up, drumming my fingers on the counter as she dug through her purse. She was pulling out singles haphazardly, scrounging for loose change here and there. Just to annoy her i tapped the tip jar on the counter beside me. Her eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed a little. “How about i tip you…later?”

“Ohhh so now you want to be on my dick. Hate to break it to you but pussy doesnt pay rent, babe.” I scoffed. She looked a little defeated and buried her face back in her purse in search of her change. I rolled my eyes. “Any day now.”

“S-sorry.” Her voice seemed timid now as she pushed the contents of her purse back inside. “Cancel that order.”

I raised an eyebrow at her wondering about her sudden change of heart. “Why?” I asked.

“Uh...just...I guess I didn’t have as much time as I thought. I should get going.”

That was when I realized that she didn’t have enough money. Her face was coated in embarrassment and she was fumbling over everything. It was interesting to see her so flustered to say the least. I did kind of feel bad though. Working in this shit town never paid enough to survive, even if it was just for a simple cup of coffee. I fixed my snapback and adjusted my glasses, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “If you still want it I can use it as my free drink today. If you have enough time, that is.”

“What? No...you dont-” i had no idea why her stumbling over her words was started to appear as cute to me.

“Chill, it's whatever. Don’t worry about it. You got time for it or what?”

She nodded meekly and I grabbed a grande cup off the top of the stack beside me. I took the sharpie i had tucked behind my ear and scribbled her name on it. I went to work making her drink, seeing her drop the sparse amount of singles she had in the tip jar out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to take back what i said before about the tips. I shouldn't have teased her about it. I looked down at my watch as i capped her drink, realizing it was time for my break. I set it down on the counter and called out to her. “Hey, you got ten minutes you can kill?”

She walked over and grabbed her drink carefully. “Yeah, i uh… don’t actually have to be at work for another half hour.”

I gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her. “It’s ok. Just wait for me.”

She nodded and retreated to a table in the far back of the cafe, away from everyone in her typical emo fashion. I told my coworker i was going on break before heading out to sit across from Eri.

“Sorry about the-” she started.

I waved her off. “We all know what it's like to be broke, right? Shit sucks.”

“I meant about the tip thing...i-i mean i'm a waitress so i know how it is. I felt so bad.”

“Oh so that's why you're all dressed up.”

She chuckled lightly. “Yeah, if you want to call it that. This is the before, the after aint so pretty.” She took a small sip of her latte before setting it between us. I set my arms on the table and leaned in a bit mulling over if i should ask her to hook up tonight. I wasn't exactly sure if she was still mad at me. I had gotten over the stupid shit with the video for the most part. Ten had always been an asshole and i'm sure it was secretly part of some revenge plot he had against me because i wouldn't sleep with him. I still wished she had been with me that night though.

“Where do you work at?” i asked.

“Italian restaurant. I come home smelling like garlic bread and overpriced wine.”

“Sexy.” I smiled a bit and traced the plastic rim of the coffee cup with my index finger. “But now you can trade me pasta for coffee, right?”

“Maybe. You might have to fight Quinn for the pasta though. They always like to eat my leftovers.”

“I could probably do a little extra convincing to get you to cough it up.” Our legs brushed against one another under the table and i watched as her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip gently. The warm rosy tone on her lips accentuated the fullness of them and i was half tempted to pull her into my lap and kiss her hard. My self control seemed to be leaving my body faster than i wanted it too. My nerves were already electric at the slightest touch of her fingers across the back of my hand. The warmth of the latte and her tender caresses was making me shiver. Her fingers were following the length of mine now, drawing light designs into my skin. I uncurled my fingers from the cup, entranced by the way she moved to follow the lines of my palm. “What are you doing?” i almost whispered. My throat felt like it was starting to close up.

“Nothing, really…” Her deep brown eyes flickered up to me reflecting that she had something else on her mind. She cocked her head to the side and chewed harder on her bottom lip. “I haven’t really seen you around much. Even in class it seems like you’re gone before I even sit down.”

“I could say the same about you.” I adjusted myself in the hard seat, trying to will myself to pull my hand away. Her gentle touches and the way her leg kept nudging against mine had me feeling some type of way. I needed to calm down. “But after our last conversation I guess I just thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“That’s for damn sure. You’re still a pig.”

“But…?”

She sighed. “But i just...i mean like...a lot of shit has been going on with my life and I haven’t had a break.”

“A break? You have half of Asia in your bed and you cant catch a “break”?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Seems unlikely.”

“I do not have half of Asia in my bed, shut up!” She shoved at my shoulder.

“Are you just going down the line and checking each country off? Like a yellow fever bucket list?”

“Oh my fuckin’ god. It is not like that at all! Ya’ll just happen to like all hang out together and it just like...happened, ok?! I get with other people. All kinds of people. Disappointing people even.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure that’s exactly how it happened.” I stole a quick sip of her latte. “Who disappointed you?”

Eri waved me off and tapped my hand so i could let go of the cup. I didn’t let it go. “No one you know. A random guy. He was wack. Like...really wack. He had the audacity to ask me if I came and I was like ‘yeah to my fucking senses’.”

“Fuck!” I almost choked on another sip of the latte. “Did you seriously say that to him?!”

“Uh, yeah! He was basically using me as a human fleshlight which made no sense. I can’t believe i’m telling you this. All it’s gonna do is inflate your ego.”

“Wow, rude. It’s not inflating my ego. But I will soothe yours. “Malibu Barbie” wasn’t that great either. I honestly have never wanted to bolt so fast out of there.” I didn’t dare speak of how much i thought about her instead.

“So if i’ve had a shitty hookup and you’ve had a shitty hookup, why aren’t we hooking up?”

“Oh my god, because you were being a dick about the whole snap thing!” I protested.

“That’s because you were an asshole who sent a gross ass picture and had an ever more gross response.”

“Oh yeah? What about the video of Ten’s tongue down your throat?”

“I didn’t even send it! He did!” She pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Whatever, let’s just call it fucking even.”

“Sounds like you’re desperate for dick.” She opened her mouth to say something then snapped it shut quickly. I tried to hide my laughter but it felt so good to beat her at her own game.

“I am not desperate for dick, ok? I just figured if you wanted to we could…besides it sounds like your track record hasn’t been that great either.”

“There hasn’t been a track record for like two weeks actually. Life’s just...kicking my ass I guess. A lot of shit to do and not enough time to fuck.”

“I don’t believe that one bit, Johnny.  You always find time to fuck.” she laughed and set her hand under her chin. “Anyway it would be nice to just have a regular kind of fling, you know? With someone who’s not a big cuddly baby or wants me to be tied up and tortured for hours.”

“Wow, I’m shocked. You don’t want to be tortured? Are you feeling ok? Sure you don’t have a fever?” I set my hand on her forehead pretending to feel her temperature.

“Oh shut up! You sound worse then Quinn.” She laughed. “I’ve just been so tired lately. Sometimes I just want something simple that feels good but it’s been a little hard to find someone who can do it and do it well.”

“Hmm, well when you find someone let me know. It sounds great.” I chuckled a bit, being a glutton for punishment and wanting to see her smile some more.

“Jerk.” Eri kicked my leg playfully. “All i’m saying is...i mean...If you're not too tired-”

“Yes.” I said a little too fast for my liking.

There it was- her smile. Soft, a little shy, and charming in a way that you’d never expect from her. “You can come to my place this time. I usually get home around 10:30.”

“Yeah, same here. Text me your address?”

She nodded and chewed at her lip again, just for a second or two, a habit that was beginning to drive me to insanity. She seemed to do it every time she was hesitating, preparing to do or say something that was going to send my mind into vivid dreams about never leaving her bed. Now I could only concentrate on my desire for her lips. I wanted them on mine, on my neck, on my cock, everywhere. She seemed to have other plans though. She bought my fingertips to her lips, pressing tender kisses against each one. I wanted to pull my hand away again, especially before someone noticed, but the way her warm lips felt on my skin had me on edge. “E-Eri?” I panicked.

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Just remembering how good these felt down my throat is all.”

My eyes went wide. I cant believe she had actually said that. “You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that right?” I laughed a bit, trying to ignore the way my cock was twitching in my jeans. I sat up a little straighter in the chair, not wanting to get a damn chub at work.

“Why? Because you were thinking the same thing?”

“Ah...um…” My mouth wasn't getting those snappy comebacks out quick enough now. “Shut up.” It was the only thing I could come up with as a retort.

She smirked and I knew she wanted to have the last jab just to say she was better at reeling me back in. “Well i should get going now. Don't want to be too late.” We stood up at the same time and I was sure neither of us wanted to leave just yet. I looked around for a moment, making sure that I wouldn't be within the sight of someone who could get me fired, before cupping her chin in my hand. I guided her towards me, my head already angled for a kiss. My watch went off suddenly, signaling the end of my break. Of course. We both let out little exasperated sighs.

“Guess I have to go now too.” I leaned down just enough so that our lips were close but weren’t touching. “See you tonight.”

I left her then, trying not to look back at her and show how much i wanted her. I hoped the rest of my shift passed by fast. I couldn't wait to get in her bed.

--

Eri’s POV

I flipped my hair back, running my fingers through it as I finished towel drying. My feet had been killing me but i managed to take a shower and get the smell of garlic off me. It was already nearing 11:30 and i was ready to crawl into bed and pile blankets on top of me. In fact I was already climbing into bed when I heard a knock on the door. Shit. Johnny. I had totally forgotten that I invited him over. I groaned, wanting to kick my past self for being endlessly horny for him even though he didn’t give me the time of day. Stupid big dick bastard. I trudged over to the door wondering if there was possibly a decent way to say “Go the fuck home I’m tired.”

I opened it and was met face to face with his hands propped up on either side of the door way. He licked his lips as soon as he saw me, a smirk toying at them. The ends of my hair were still wet and dripping onto my tank top, darkening the fabric and flushing me with cold. “Hey.” Was all he said. I pulled away from the door allowing him in. I could smell the freshness of his cologne mixed in with with the slight fruitiness of his shampoo. Thank god he took a shower too at least. I gave him the once over, my eyes resting at his sweatpants, as he kicked off his sneakers. Though i was dead tired there was still a part of me screaming to let him fuck me.

Johnny looked around my apartment that was significantly cleaner than his. “Nice place.”

“Mhm, my room doesn't even have a pile of clothes on the floor. Or empty Starbucks cups and condom wrappers.”

“Hah hah, very funny. Which one is yours anyway? Oh wait never mind, it’s the one with the giant poster of a band who's logo looks like a bunch of twigs thrown together, right?”

“Oh no. That's totally Quinn's room.” I ignored his stupid wisecrack and headed towards my room with him following me. The soft sounds of my spotify playlist melted into the room filling it with smooth, jazzy feminine vocals. I had a three wick candle burning and my lights already dimmed making it look like i was intentionally trying to seduce him. However, this was all my plan for heading the fuck to sleep.

“Uh...what's going on here?” Johnny asked, a very stunned expression on his face.

“Ok...to be honest I forgot you were coming over. This is how i like to fall asleep sometimes so I know it looks seductive but it ain't for you, homie.”

“I was about to say, damn, buy me dinner first.” He headed over to my bed and laid down, folding his hands behind his head. I rolled my eyes and crawled in beside him.

“I think we're already passed the ‘buy me dinner’ point, dont you think?”

He shrugged and looked up at me. “I still like to eat.” He moved his hand to cup my chin pulling me closer for a tender kiss. His tongue licked at my bottom lip slowly before he pressed his lips against mine fully. He wasn't trying to invade my mouth just yet but the warm sensual fueled caresses made my heart thunder. My hand settled on his chest feeling the soft thrum of his heart beneath my fingertips as I eased myself over him. I straddled his waist and settled the center of my panties against the slight bulge in his sweats.

“You’re not wearing underwear, are you?” I chuckled and sunk my hips down against him.

“Hell no. Why should I? You were just gonna-” He interrupted his sentence with a loud yawn, covering his mouth quickly. “Fuck, sorry.”

“Oh, am I boring you now?” I teased.

“No...no of course not. I’ve just been drained. But I wanted to hook up. Like...really wanted to, especially after today.”

I nodded. “Me too. That’s why I still invited you here. But you can stay if you want.”

He sat up quickly, almost knocking me off him. “I don’t sleep over. Ever.”

“Yah, Quinn has the same rule too but it’s no big deal. I mean we’re both tired.”

“Nah, I’m chill. I’m gonna go.” He tapped my thigh, signaling for me to move. “Get up.”

I pressed my chest to his, kissing up his neck towards his ear. “Relax, Johnny. You think I’m gonna fall in love with you just because you wake up next to me? That’s gross.” I nipped at his ear playfully.

“No, you don’t understand. There’s a reason I don’t sleep over. Can you get off?”

“What’s the reason?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “If you’re not gonna get up then I’m gonna throw you off.”

“Oh I fuckin’ dare you. You will get the beating of your life.”

“What’s your short ass gonna do?” He lifted me up swiftly into his arms and stood up as I tried not to scream in fear of him actually tossing me. I whacked his shoulder, feeling him start to let go.

“Johnny!! Don’t you dare!”

He let me fall a bit before catching me again, making me squeak and reel back towards the bed. He was already laughing at my struggle, especially since I was trying to grab at anything from the bed to pin myself down. My hand managed to wrap around my pillow and i swung it at him, catching the side of his head.

“You little shit!” He dropped me into the mattress, almost falling onto me himself. My legs were splayed out to the side as i giggled and tried to hit him again. Johnny blocked my attempt, snatching the pillow and hitting me instead. “How do you like that?!”

“Jerk!” I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. “That all you got?”

“Well I’m not gonna spank you if that’s what you’re after.” He smiled and lowered his head to give me another kiss. “You’re really annoying, you know that?”

“Mhm, sure I am.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Kiss me again.”

He licked my lips before whispering against them. “Say please.” I pouted and tried to connect us but he pulled away a bit, his hand tangling itself in my hair to keep my head back. “No. Say please.”

I sighed. “Please?”

He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “There.”

“Ass. You made me say please and that’s what you give me?” I slid my hands down his back, slipping them under his cut off shirt.

“Well what more do you want from me, hm?”

I swallowed back, almost afraid to say what was clawing at my tongue. “Fuck me...”

Johnny kissed along my jawline as he pulled my hands from under his shirt and pinned them above my head, almost mimicking our first time together in his room. “Yeah? Do you want to cum that bad?”

I nodded, nipping at his throat ever so slightly. “Do it so i can fall asleep.”

He sucked his teeth. “You idiot.” he laughed, a deep kinda awkward staccato. It was the first time I had ever made him laugh with something I said; the first time we had ever really been personable with each other. The playful banter mixed in with the slow teasing was making butterflies infest my stomach. I was staring up at him, watching those warm honey eyes crinkle just a bit through his smile. And just for a moment, the dim lighting, the candle, the music; it all sent me to a warm and vulnerable place. That place was dangerous territory and i was tip toeing on a fine line I was never supposed to cross.

“We didn't think this through, did we?” He said, yawning again. “What if I fall asleep fucking you?” He was joking but there was a slight thrill in his words for me.

“Then you'd stay inside me all night and you'd be the first thing I felt in the morning.”

His face and ears flushed so fast that I was caught off guard by that instance of embarrassment. “U-uh...w-what?”

“I told you I wanted you to fuck me.” I said. “So do it. Until i cum, until we fall asleep, whatever. I just need it.”

He gulped audibly as his eyes fell to the wayside. He didn’t say much further, only buried his face against my neck to lash soft licks against it. I exhaled softly, drifting my eyes closed and focusing on the heat of his body pressing into me. His kisses were turning into eager bites as his head traversed the expanse of my chest. His tongue wrapped around my nipple through the damp fabric teasing it until my breath eased into tiny gasps. I managed to wiggle my leg between his thick thighs, nudging against the bulge in his sweats. A delicate moan stayed trapped in his throat as his hips took the opportunity to create friction against me.

His hands finally released their grasp on mine and I drew my fingers up to the nape of his neck. Meanwhile, he reconnected our lips making the kiss heavier, deeper, slower. All the attention was starting to make them tender and my head felt like it was swimming. It wasnt like this was the first time we had had sex but it felt...more intimate and i had no idea why. I longed for a just another spare moment to recover again. With a soft shove i managed to create some space between us. Johnny looked down at me, raising a brow in confusion. “You good?” He asked, licking his lips 

I ignored the back and forth thoughts in my head; weren’t you supposed to fall asleep? Weren’t you supposed to not care that he hadn’t texted you in two weeks? Weren’t you supposed to ignore the fact that everything he did, no matter how stupid, made you crave his attention, his body, his touch? He always made me second guess my intentions but i had to keep them hidden. We were just fuck buddies after all. Nothing particularly serious even though i lived to have him inside me. My stomach continued to do flips while my brain floated between thoughts. I simply nodded at him and encouraged him to continue. His thumbs descended under the waistband of my shorts easing them down until i was able to kick them off. His next move was pulling my tank top over my head and tossing it behind him so i was presented just for him.

He placed a winding trail of kisses from my belly button up to my breast before he eased a warm bite over my nipple. I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a heavy moan, especially when his large hand pried my thighs open. His fingers drifted between my folds, sliding through the slickness that had already begun to gather. With a gentle push his finger tip made its way inside, making small thrusts before sliding back up to wrap tantric circles around my clit. As he explored the most eager of places, my hand found itself anchored in his hair as I was determined to keep him close. I pulled slightly and a deep groan rumbled from him as he tilted his head towards the tugs. With that simple distraction I worked my thigh against him, feeling his cock, hard and needy, beneath the thin fabric of his sweatpants. He rutted against my thigh, grinding into my bare skin greedily. 

“Pull my hair again.” he groaned. Now it was my turn for my face to flush in surprise. Though it was the most basic of turn-on’s, i never expected Johnny to like it.

“Um...o-okay.” I gave his hair another tug and it seemed to set off a chain reaction: another groan and rough kiss, another rough grind against my thigh, another thrust of his finger as it curled against my walls ever so slightly. I arched up into him, one hand steadying his wrist while the other gripped at his shoulder, almost clawing at his stupid shirt that I didn’t want on him any longer. I thrusted my hips into his hand wanting him to add more fingers to stretch me out just as bad as he wanted the continued friction against his cock. Even his lips were still calling out for attention. With his forehead pressed against mine i stole a few hot presses before trapping his bottom lip between my teeth and diving my tongue into his mouth. A second finger joined the first and quick curls had his knuckles pressed against almost every sensitive area within me. My nails dug indentations into his wrist and I could barely wait any longer.

“I got some condoms on the dresser.” I mumbled through the soft mewls I was making. He nodded, showing a bit of irritation that we had to separate and almost making me whine as he pulled away. He treaded over to my dresser while I found the strength to adjust myself on the bed, securing the pillow under my head.

“Where at-?”

“In that little box on the top. I got some magnums in there just for you.”

“How thoughtful.” He plucked one out and held it between his teeth as he pulled away his clothes. He tore the wrapper open, spitting out the strip of gold before easing the rubber on and rejoining me. When we reconnected, he guided my hand to his covered cock while his fingers resumed the deep pressure inside me. My palm gathered the lubricant that decorated his tip, adding extra pleasure to my long strokes to his shaft. His eyes fluttered closed and he dove his face into my neck, hiding the shy look on his face. My heart was starting to pound and i couldn't help but pathetically whimper out his name. It earned me a small bite to my collarbone and a rough buck into my hand.

“Need you…” He breathed. I nodded and wrapped my legs around him, settling him in his rightful place between my thighs. I pulled the covers over us securing our warmth from my air conditioned room. He kept himself propped up so he wouldn’t crush me, his temple cradled in the palm of his unoccupied hand. He looked down at me with a sleepy smile on his face and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You are so out of it. Do you want to stop? You can just sleep, you know.”

He shook his head quickly and pushed his bangs back. “I’ll sleep after you cum, trust me. I’m fine. Just tell me what you want, ok?” He whispered against my shoulder. Of all the things I had said and done in the bedroom I had no idea how to even began telling Johnny my wishes without turning into an embarrassed puddle. When i didn’t respond verbally he sent a confused look my way. “Eri?”

The way he said my name made me clench and ache for him. I still couldn’t fathom saying anything but i managed to wrap my fingers around his shaft and let him slip between my lower lips. He caught onto my miniscule movement and edged his hips towards me over and over as the ridge of his head ghosted over my clit and filled me with excitement. I slid my arm underneath his, clutching at his shoulder tight as i buried my face in his chest, keeping my moans to myself. Every once in awhile he would sink his tip into me, testing the waters of my comfort. His shaft was easily spreading my slickness between us but having him fill me after so long was seeming to become a reoccuring challenge. He flittered kisses between my neck and shoulder while his hand tangled itself within my hair, softly scratching at my scalp. The other now took up residence on my hip, pulling my thigh around his waist as he started his slow and aching descent inside me.

My nails dug into his shoulder then as a weak moan escaped me. He muttered curses into my skin until he sunk in as far as he could go. “You okay?”

I simply nodded and squeezed my leg around him tight as my hips met his in an encouraging dance. He accepted my welcoming movement as an invitation to continue and started his languid thrusts, pulling out almost all the way before refilling me. My walls stretched around his shaft greeting each thrust with a small clench that already had every muscle in his back tensing. My fingers spread across his shoulder blades feeling the strength beneath his skin as he rocked himself into a steady rhythm. The hand remained between us spread my outer lips open feeling each push and pull. Every once in awhile i would meet my clit with eager strokes, drawing more pleasure out of me.

His eyes drank in the sight of my hand between us before returning to see me still hiding in his chest. He gripped my chin within his slender fingers, forcing our eyes to connect. “Let me see you.” He licked his lips slowly and exhaled. “Don’t hide from me. I want to see that fucked out look on you face.”

My eyes went wide for a moment. Literally, he picked this time to ruin such a perfect moment with yet another one of his gross porn lines. “Boy if you don’t-”

“Relax, I’m joking! I just wanted to hear you tell me to shut up or say that you like it better when i dont talk.” He laughed before sliding his arm around the small of my back and pulling me completely flush against him. “Call me a glutton for punishment I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re something all right.” I said. “A pain in the ass and-” I was cut off again by Johnny sitting back on his knees and pulling me up into his lap. I didnt know how it was possible but every inch of him felt deeper inside me. I covered my mouth and clung onto him as his hands cupped my ass.

“You good babe?” He smirked.

“Fuck...sh-shut up.” i buried my face in his neck as his hips focused all their attention into plowing up into me. All my thoughts were lost. My mouth ran dry and i could barely focus on anything else but the heated feeling in my stomach. He had only just begun and my thighs were already quivering with each harsh jerk.

“That's all i wanted to hear.” he whispered. His teeth were cutting across the skin of my collarbone, nails dragging devilish scratches across my ass cheeks, and forcing my hips to roll with his thrusts. The feeling was overwhelming and i could feel my eyes watering through how tightly they were squeezed shut.

“Please…” He stilled for a moment and i exhaled a breath i hadnt known i'd been holding. With my limbs clamped around him tight i finally begged him to make me cum, so desperate for the release i had missed for weeks. And even more desperate for that feeling of him swelling inside me and filling me with his warmth. “Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…”

When he didn’t move for a few more seconds I looked up at him wondering exactly what he was thinking. In reality, I wanted to go back into hiding and ignore the fact that I had just begged a man to make me feel good but the look in his eyes snatched my breath away completely. Johnny pulled my head against his, crashing our lips together in a fevered rush. He continued to fuck up into me at a slow but harsh pace, stirring that astounding feeling inside me again and making me clench tight. I cupped his face in my hands, sliding a moan past his teeth while his thumb made my clit throb with renewed fervor. In a few short circles and raw thrusts i melted against him feeling all the pent up tension i had release into a fatiguing rush of pleasure. I slumped into his arms trying to regain what little strength i had left. He was rubbing my lower back gently while his other hand pushed my hair away from my face.

“Need to lay down?”

I nodded quickly and he slid out of me carefully, laying me onto the mattress. My body instantly curled up and i pulled my pillow close, gripping the case tightly. I could only hear his breaths evening out beside me until it shifted into quietness. I thought he had fallen asleep to be honest. I peeked my head up and poked his side a little, watching him twitch.

“What?’ he groaned.

“I thought you were going to sleep after you made me cum.” I chuckled.

“Hmm, I’d get there faster if you didn’t bug me.”

“Oh now you’re grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy. I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

He rolled his eyes and gestured towards his dick. “Ya know…”

“Oh my god, idiot, you can cum. You at least know how to make me feel good first. You’re like a unicorn in the Noah’s Arc of fuckboys.”

“What kind of fuckin’ analogy is that?!” He sucked his teeth and shoved me away playfully.

“It means you’re rare and shouldn’t actually exist. But I’m glad you do.”

He raised a brow at me. “You’re...glad I exist?”

“I-I mean for the sole purpose of fucking, okay?!” I buried my face in my pillow wondering why he made me act like such a goddamn fool.

“Of course. Just for fucking. Nothing else.” Johnny made his way on top of me, sliding back into me with the softest of grunts. I bit down on the pillow, sucking in a breath before relaxing under his touch. Thankfully, his thrusts weren’t as eager, instead they were lengthy and drawn out as his hands braced themselves against the bed beside mine. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment as I almost fell into sleep by just enjoying the way he felt inside me. His rhythmic sighs mimicked the way his fingers kept curling and trembling, as if looking for something to tether himself too. I inched my hand closer to the warmth of his palms, offering my wrist as a vision of comfort. Instead my hand disappeared under his, fingers intertwining with his harshly as his hips stuttered. I swallowed hard and tried to will my hand to move away from his but it was like I was frozen-trapped in a flurry of too intimate of emotions. Before I knew it the rush of his warmth spilled within the condom and my name tumbled from his lips in a deliciously low groan.

He lowered himself on top of me, taking care that he wouldn’t crush me although that effort was futile. His face was buried in the back of my neck and I expected him to let my hand go but we remained together. All i could do was stare at our hands, my heart racing against my ribs that were pressed against the mattress. “Um...Johnny?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t answer me and I couldn’t even look back at him with the way he was positioned on me. I laid there, trying to escape my feelings while my body relished in the way we stayed connected.

--

Johnny’s POV

I shifted a bit, feeling my body sticky with sweat. I thought I was having another night terror but I actually felt...normal in my head. Had I really slept through the whole night without any suffering? I opened my eyes and noticed the dim glow of a candle that was way too close to burning out. A sweet coconut smell was floating round me and I found that my face was buried in a sea of curls. I looked down at the body spooned against me and came to a grim realization. Fuck. I slept over.

I looked around frantically wondering what time it was. Maybe I had only been asleep for like twenty minutes. Twenty minutes wasn’t so bad. Her alarm clock was reading otherwise though. It was almost 6 am. Shit. Shit. SHIT. I tried to untangle myself from her but it was difficult given the fact that I was still inside her. I wanted to fucking kick myself. What the hell was the matter with me?! Even our hands were stuck together! I needed to leave asap. I separated our hands and slid out of her slowly, my body shuddering when I lost the feeling of her tight warmth around me. Why did it feel that good to be inside her all night?

I was losing my touch and my mind. There was no way the person i was a month ago would ever do this. I finally crawled out of the bed and tossed on my clothes before running out into the living room. I almost crashed into Quinn head on but was just barely able to stop myself. She stared at me with a half sleepy look on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh…..” I had no idea how to respond and i really didnt want to say ‘hey i fucked your roommate and actually stayed over and held her stupid hand all night like a fucking pussy ass baby!’. She would probably blab to Jae who would tell everyone else in the group chat and I didn’t want to be hounded by those idiots. The only thing I could think of to do was keep running. “Bye!” I left her standing there and grabbed my shoes, not even bothering to put them on, before flinging the door open. I headed down the stairs of the apartment building almost two at a time, not stopping until I got into my car. I slammed my hand against the steering wheel completely pissed at myself. I didn’t want to admit it but an annoying little voice was screaming at the back of my skull. Maybe I did like her.

--

JohnJae chat

Jae: what time did you come home last night bro?

Johnny: idk like...3 or 4 or sum shit

Johnny: why

Jae: i thought i heard you, lowkey thought i was dreamin tho

Jae: who was you with?

Jae: eri?;)

Johnny: no just some random chick

Johnny: doesnt matter

Jae: dont lie to me. I know you already. U keep hanging with her

Johnny: so what? i like fuckin her. Shes btr then half the tricks ive gotten with tbh

Jae: well…

Jae: ive kinda been hooking up with quinn

Jae: the blonde

Jae: eri's roommate

Johnny: yah i know who she is stupid.  but you mean to tell me all this time ur doggin me about eri ur fuckin quinn again?

Jae: ehh like...6 or 7 times since the party

Johnny: BRO WTF

Jae: what?! Shes like horny ALL the time so she calls me

Jae: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: hollup

The Boys Group Chat

Johnny: jae muthafuckin hyun over here fuckin quinn like 12 times. Yall talk about me being whipped for eri what abt him????!!!!

Jae: IT WASNT 12 TIMES

Lucas: yall need to back off from my women lol

Lucas: why cant you guys find other people

Ten: stop hogging them to urself

Ten: ur just the baby they take care of

Lucas: i am not a baby!!

Taeyong: its only bc they feel bad for you lmao

Lucas: fuck you. Its because i fuck them better then all of you do

Jae: MORE IMPORTANTLY

jae: johnny stayed over at eri's

Jae: i have may fucked quinn a lot but i still havent stayed over

Taeil: fuck are you serious?

Johnny: i didnt sleep over. We were just tired when we fucked

Yuta: so….you fell asleep….at her place...which means you stayed over

Johnny: it wasnt even that long

Ten: wait pause

Ten: did yall have sleepy sex

Taeyong: sleepy sex???

Ten: yeah like when ur tired or sleepy but you still wanna fuck so you go really slow. Its supposed to be like more sensual or whatever

Ten: chicks dig that shit

Johnny: i mean…

Johnny: we were just tired…

Taeil: how slow did you go?

Johnny: like medium speed? Like wtf is this the grand prix??

Taeil: did yall fucking make love???

Jae: FUCK DUDE

Jae: DID YOU

Johnny: NO

johnny: N.O.

johnny: ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN NOT

yuta: oh they did

Ten: totally had sleepy lovey dovey sex

Johnny: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT JAE

jae: at least im still plowing quinn instead of being gross and shit

Jae: what happens if she catches feelings

Johnny: then thats her problem. I dont want her like that

Yuta: i doubt she will.

Lucas: dude ive fucked her, stayed over, got her to cook breakfast, showered with her, and have eaten her out (unlike some people) and she still doesnt want to date me.

Taeyong: again its bc ur a baby. She feels bad and has to take care of u lol

Lucas: fuck. Off.

Ten: im sure she wont catch feelings. Shes got too many other dudes giving it to her better

Jae: yeah and not doing that gay shit

Ten: jae its not gay. Its only gay if two guys are attracted to each other physically and romantically

Jae: yeah yeah whatever. That sleepy fuckin is some gay shit

Jae: hella wack

Johnny: jae is whipped af and i didnt have sleepy whatever sex or stay over

Yuta: surrrreee lets go to make believe land where johnny isnt getting soft and letting some girl control him

Ten: maybe hes the kinky one now

Johnny: idek why i bother talking to ya’ll

Lucas: im just gonna ask eri what happened

Lucas: and im gonna ask to eat her out since she probably didnt cum last night with ur soft crap lmao👅👅

Johnny: she did cum. I always make her cum. In fact she begged me too

Taeil: probs begged you to stop tbh

Yuta:😂😂😂😂

Yuta: a mood

Ten: anyway i got some 👌👌👌 pics of her from our session a couple weeks ago if anyone wants em

Yuta: ohh same

Lucas: i took a few when i was fucking her from behind for the spank bank

Taeyong: and you were saying that ten and yuta were bad. Ur doing the same thing

Lucas: NO bc im not POSTING IT for everyone to see

Taeil: u should. I mean just her. Not ur dick

Taeil: please for the love of god not ur dick

Lucas: ok fine but dont fucking tell or show anyone else

Johnny: i dont need to see that

Ten: why bc its not your dick shes fucking? Lmaoooo

Ten: show me her, show me ur dick lucas, show me everything 👅👅👅

Yuta: ur gay is showing bro

Ten: my gay is always showing. Where have you been?

Lucas: whatever I’ll send it in a bit, i’m heading over to their place now anyway

Lucas: Ill let ya’ll know what eri says

Taeyong: That johnnys completely in love with her

Yuta: gross lol

Johnny: OK BYE.

Johnny: GOOD

Johnny: BYE

Ten: What was that # you said before yuta?

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Yuta: nothing’s changed

Yuta: well except johnny getting soft

Taeil: way too soft. Keep it up and we’ll have to kick you out lol

Taeil: we fuck and leave man

Taeil: end of story.

[trickhockstetter]

Derry - Chapter 1: I Mean, I Know I Screwed Up Somehow...

Author’s Note: Welcome to Derry! This is the first chapter of (hopefully lol) many. It sits at around 3618 words.

“Why is it called Derry if I don’t see any cows?”

Almost everything my four-year-old stepbrother says is a question. I glance over my shoulder from the driver’s seat, smiling as Gabriel sleepily sticks his thumb in his mouth. A bad habit, but not something to be nitpicky about after too many hours on the road.

“It’s three in the morning. The cows are asleep in their barns.” The marble-sized sugar-orb attached to the white paper stick dangling out of my mouth clinks against my teeth as I talk, slurring slightly to keep the artificial watermelon goodness from falling into my lap.

My father cracks an eye open and smiles. “You still good?”

We whiz by the sign welcoming us to Derry, a single-panel peeling paint monstrosity on the verge of teetering on the road. The first few houses appear soon after, though they’re far from the road, all rickety old boxy places mostly surrounded by yellow-green farmland and wooden fences keeping the animals from-

I brake, hard.

The tires squeal. The seat belt strapped across my chest strains against my body as the momentum rushes me forward, even as the rest of the car jolts to a stop. What only takes seconds feels like hours, hours of flying forward with nothing in front of me but a steering wheel and a windshield already cracked from flying road rocks.

In all the commotion, my lollipop flies from my mouth and adheres itself to the skirt of my sundress, a sticky-shiny trail of pink food dye trailing to where the candy rests, stick up, just above my knee.

After a moment of silence in the sudden stillness, in which I don’t think any of us knows what to do, Gabriel whines. My father leans over to check if he’s all right before turning his attention to me.

“Why’d you do that?” he asks.

But I’m too busy fighting for my breath to answer. Still staring beyond the windshield, where the drooling rabid dog that had suddenly appeared in front of the car has just as quickly disappeared.

Much to my father’s surprise, I was totally fine with switching one microscopic town for another, even if it was right before I was due to start my senior year of high school. Our old place was nice, but with Gabriel starting to grow up, and my need for personal space, we needed an upgrade. It didn’t hurt that the bonus that came with the job offer my father received was just too good to pass up.

And sure, the moving process sucks. There’s nothing like packing up every single thing in a house to cut everyone’s fuses short. There was more yelling just emptying the kitchen cabinets than when my father caught me coming in two hours after curfew. I’m sure that if my stepmother didn’t step in, we would have started throwing plates.

But finally, after weeks of preparation and paperwork, we were off. With every mile that separated us from our old town, a weight seemed to lift off my chest, lessening the aching guilt that came from leaving behind a place full of irreplaceable memories and childhood friends. The opportunities that lay ahead, of making new friends and tearing myself free of my former wallpaper identity, feel endless.

So, good riddance, Coal County. Hello, Derry.

More than a full day after we took our leave, we finally come to a stop in the slate gray driveway of our new house. Well, new-to-us; it could use a fresh coat of paint, the lawn and garden needed care, and the garage door has a dent in it. But just the sight of it makes me sigh with relief.

“I love th’ ground. I’m gonna kiss th’ ground,” Gabriel says, struggling with his seatbelt. “Dad, help me kiss th’ ground!”

“Gabriel, it’s dirty,” my father admonishes, though he appears to be feeling similarly sentimental towards stability.

Pulling up parallel to the lawn, my stepmother parks her car and hops out, straightening the hem of her shirt as she rushes over to check on us. She gives me a tired smile before flinging open the driver’s side door and freeing Gabriel from his seat. My gaze drops to my hands as she coos to him.

“I bet you need a proper nap,” she teases.

After a few seconds of silence following her words, I look up. She looks back expectantly, her eyebrows rising in obvious confusion.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were talking-” I clear my throat. “Yes. I do.”

Behind us, the moving van pulls up behind my dad’s car and parks. The two men Dad hired to be in charge of it hop out, nodding at us as they head to the back of the van to open the door. Sophia follows my gaze and shakes her head at me.

“Your father and I can handle unloading with them for now. You should get some rest. Please take Gabriel when you go inside.”

I pause, arms outstretched to grab Gabriel from her. “But there’s no furniture yet. It’s all in the truck.”

My stepmother bites her lip. “I suppose now’s as good as time as ever. Your father and I wanted to surprise you.” Gabriel squirms in her arms, displeased at the lack of attention. “We went ahead and had some stuff moved in. We furnished the room we thought would be the best for you. We thought that you deserved some newer things.”

I smile at the thought of finally replacing my old bed, a twin-sized slab of mattress on a frame made of wooden boards with ever-loosening nails. Every time I lay down, it threatened to collapse beneath me, dropping me the full foot-and-a-half to the floor. It’d been my bed since I had outgrown my crib. The mattress is permanently squashed and shaped to match the contours of my body. And while I’m usually all about memories and sentimental stuff, I can’t help but be excited at the idea of having a bed I won’t fall off of in the middle of the night.

“Thanks, Sophia.” I finally take Gabriel out of his misery, his fidgeting coming to a halt as soon as I have him perched on my hip. “I’ll check it out.”

My stepmother beams, my use of her first name clearly not escaping her. I’m still working on getting comfortable with calling her by her first name, even after years of her living in the same house and giving birth to my half-brother. I have to remind myself to use it, but the look on her face makes it worth the extra effort.

I blame it on our history; before she became my father’s new wife, she worked in the local hospice, and we’d see her every time we visited my grandmother. Back then, before I began to detect even a hint of attraction between the two of them, I knew her only as Nurse Bowman, or Miss Bowman. Even now, almost five years after she moved in, I still slip up and call her Nurse (or Miss) Bowman. Though, now, she goes by Nurse (or Mrs) Fleming.

“Well, go on!” I’m startled to hear my father’s booming voice, uncharacteristic of him after such a long journey. “Go check out it out.”

I give him a mock salute before I tickle Gabriel, who laughs his infectious little laugh as we step through the front door for the first time and begin the hunt for our rooms.

Four hours later, I stumble into the kitchen, bleary-eyed but attracted to the cacophony that seems to only increase in volume with each passing second. I find my father and stepmother already emptying boxes onto the counters, stacking plates upon plates and making piles of silver utensils. The muttering coming from another room reminds me of the movers’ presence still. Gabriel sits at the table, eyes focused on a toy he’d gotten from a candy we bought him at the last gas station we stopped for fuel at.

“Good rest?” My stepmother smiles, even though she looks frazzled. Her hair is in a messy ponytail, frizzy strands escaping the hair tie to frame her face, and her sweater sleeves are shoved up instead of neatly rolled up like usual.

I shrug. “I’ll need to sleep a full day before I can say I’m recovered from the trip. But I love my room, so that’s helped a ton.”

They picked a daring choice for a teenage girl’s room by having it be the biggest room on the ground floor, especially when everyone else sleeps upstairs. I found it just down the hallway from the kitchen and dining area, the last door on the right. And I can honestly say I’m still speechless over the upgrade.

I have a room big enough to host a cozy party in. The bed and night stand they bought me are amazing; stylish, sturdy, and in a uniform sleek black. The light blue walls mesh perfectly with the bright white light emanating from the window and my new lamp. I even have my own bathroom, accessible within mere feet from my bed.

But the best, and the most daring, part? Apart from the door leading into the hallway, I have three doors in my room. One opens into a closet. Another opens into the aforementioned bathroom. And the last door is also the side entrance to the house.

I won’t lie and say that I didn’t think of some pretty terrible things that could happen with this extra feature. It’s human nature, after all. Like, I could order a pizza and have them deliver it to my room without my father or stepmother knowing. Or sneak in hours after curfew.

Or sneak in a boy.

But, to be honest, the pizza one’s the most likely scenario.

“Good. I’m glad.” My stepmother opens a cabinet and begins shoving stacks of plates onto the shelves. “Did you like the bed? You must’ve; you slept so long.”

Before I can answer, my father turns to face me, abandoning his utensil station for a moment. “That reminds me. We have a couple of rules about that side door.”

“Oh, Harold.” My stepmother shakes her head.

“We picked that room for you because we’re aware that you’re getting older. And with age comes responsibility. Trust. Mutual respect.” My father steps toward me, cocking his head to the side as if to assess me from a different angle. “I want you to understand that I’m trusting you by letting you have this room and all the benefits that come with it. You’re going to be eighteen soon, and Sophia and I know that you’re more likely to be socializing in your senior year. You know, attending parties and the like.”

I snort.

My stepmother pipes up, “We trust that you use this door under the condition that you exercise common sense.”

I raise an eyebrow. “As in?”

My stepmother stretches on her tiptoes to shove a stack of plates on the top shelf. “As in, you use it when you know you’re coming home late, and not just when you think you’ll get in trouble or to avoid us. Also, you must remember to keep it locked. We don’t want you getting hurt.”

“And no boys.” The words come out of my dad’s mouth more as a series of grunts than actual words.

“Yeah, no- Wait, no boys?” My stepmother looks at my father, clearly surprised by his grumbled addition. Her voice lowers dramatically. “I thought we discussed this.”

“‘We’?” This is the first I’m hearing of this. I pick at a piece of masking tape on a nearby box as they mutter to one another in front of me, clearly forgetting or refusing to acknowledge my presence for the meantime.

My father looks put out. “She’s my little girl.”

“Who, like you just said, is turning eighteen. We have to accept - no, celebrate - that she’s grown into such a beautiful young woman. And who are we to deny her from dating, anyhow? She’s practically an adult.”

“She’s seventeen.”

“Most seventeen-year-olds date. Some even have serious boyfriends.” My stepmother steps away from the plates long enough to smother me in a hug. “Why, I bet our Stella is going to grab the attention of many Derry boys in no time!”

I don’t look like Sophia, no matter how much I wish I could. My biological mother gave me her inky hair and mud-brown almond eyes, and my father generously bestowed his upturned elven nose and easily tanned skin. That, coupled with the body I cultivate with my sleep-and-snack routine, equals a fairly decent appearance that has taken me years to accept as mine. It’s safe to say I won’t be winning any modeling competitions anytime soon, but I do look pretty cute in a dress, if I do say so myself.

Derry is, just as I remembered, at its most humid in early August, so I forgo the cardigan I usually layer over my dress as I take an impromptu drive into town. Sophia and my father are at home unboxing the last few items for the living room, but I need to stock up on some personal stuff, so I took the car. It’s both exhilarating and terrifying, driving in a town I don’t know, all the while knowing that in a matter of months I will become accustomed to the winding roads and strange landmarks. I try to soak in the anonymity while it lasts; while I doubt I will attract many Derry boys, like Sophia had said, I know I’ll be getting attention. Whether it’s positive attention or not remains to be seen.

The doors chime as I enter, and I instinctively smile at the pharmacist watching from the counter directly across the store. I romp around for a while, quickly finding the items I need.

“Who’re you?”

I nearly drop the boxes in my hands.

A girl wearing acid-wash denim-on-denim-on-cotton-T-shirt eyes me from where she’s standing a good fifteen feet away. She looks like she’s smelling something awful. I wonder if it’s me.

“Nobody.”

The girl frowns. “What’s your name, Nobody?”

Realizing that she is not a person who easily backs off, I grudgingly reply, “Stella Fleming. I’m new.”

The girl regards me for a moment before conclusively saying, “Right.”

And, without waiting for a reply, she walks away, a tinny bell chiming as the shop door opens and closes for her.

After a few more minutes of perusing, I head to the pharmacy counter to pay. The shop owner, whose name tag identifies him as Mr. Keene, gives me a tight-lipped smile, and I shift uncomfortably in place as he rings me up. His fingers seem to linger as he holds out the handles of the plastic bag to me.

Note to self: never come here again.

I push open the door with my right elbow and begin the trek to my car, wobbling only once, as I had to cross a busier part of the packed lot and almost found myself knee-to-bumper with someone’s truck. But finally, after packing my trunk with my purchases, I slam the door down, only to jump backwards with a shriek.

“Stella.” The man standing by the opposite side of the car leans against it, eyes squinting in the daylight. “Right?”

As I catch my breath, I press my hand to my chest, checking to see if the shock of seeing a former classmate had somehow stopped its beating. The rapid thudding beneath my fingers assures me that I’m fine, if not slightly reeling from the surprise. As I breathe heavily, my old somewhat-friend cocks his head to the side, letting some of his long hair flop in front of his eyes for a few seconds before reaching up to fix it. He shuffles in his scuffed boots.

I catch my breath and manage to shuffle forward to encapture him in a hug. He had not been that good a friend to me even before he had been forced to move, but I’m happy to see anyone who may offer me even a sliver of guidance as to how to survive Derry life. Either he doesn’t remember he doesn’t know me like this, or he remembers but isn’t saying anything. Either way, he’s polite about it, enough to be hugging me back. For a moment I rest my head on his shoulder, desperately seeking some comfort, or any semblance of safety.

“Victor,” I say. “How’ve you been?”

Victor Criss hums noncommittally. “Still dancing.” He gives me an awkward squeeze, and then drops his arms altogether. Now I’m just too close to him. Great.

As I take a few (hopefully casual) steps backward, I slide my hands in my pockets and arch an eyebrow. “You tell everybody you meet that?”

Victor rolls his eyes. “Only the people who already knew I danced. Dance. Whatever.”

So he did remember.

“Why are you here?” There’s no trace of malice in his question, just pure curiosity. “Didn’t you move away, like, a billion years ago?”

I decide to make it more of a joke. “Coal County was getting boring.”

He hums again. “You going to Derry High?”

Right as I start to reply, another voice takes over the conversation.

“Who’s this?” calls the shortest of the three strangers, hand reaching up to dramatically ruffle his dark blond hair. The hair itself looks like a hideous attempt at a mullet, so it’s hard to look away from. “Why you staring, sweetheart? Like what you see?”

The other two strangers look straight through me, as if they’re entirely detached from the situation. It’s clear they are involved somehow; the way they stand behind the one who spoke is oddly protective, like they’re waiting in the wings for him.

“A Coal County chick.” Victor pushes off of my car, instantly changing his body language to match the change in attitude. “She moved before y’all came around.”

No wonder none of them look familiar. I’m more surprised that they moved here at all; Derry’s the kind of town that people move away from.

The one with the mullet smirks. “Is that right, sweetheart? We could give you a tour. Or a ride.” He reaches down and lewdly grabs the front of his pants.

I turn my attention to the other strangers and almost jump out of my skin. The one that had been standing to the right of the mullet-haired guy mere moments before has moved up without me noticing, now hovering uncomfortably closer than necessary. I keep my gaze forward, trying to stare desperately into the strange Tom the cat logo of his shirt. I’m too afraid to tilt my head back to look him in the eye. I feel him looking me over like he’s trying to memorize me.

“What’s your name?” His voice is lilting, almost mocking.

I clear my throat, keeping my eyes trained ahead of me, deep into the inky lines of the odd cartoon of his shirt. “Stella Fleming.”

From my peripherals, I think I see Victor wincing. It’s no surprise that he is uncomfortable with how this has gone, but obviously I’ve just made a mistake.

My chin and gaze suddenly sweep upwards. I try to push against the finger beneath my chin, but he’s surprisingly resistant. My eyes are restless; my gaze flickers between the swath of long dark hair framing his deathly pale skin, the peek of a pale pink tongue quickly sliding along his lips, and the shine in his surprisingly light irises. His mouth twists when he realizes I’m looking back at him.

“While this is fun and all,” the third of the new-to-me trio drawls, “I’ve got to get Amy to the shop in half an hour, or Russell won’t have time for her.” My attention turns to the speaker, taking in his impressive build and the logo of a heavy metal band scrawled across his dark shirt.

Though the Tom-shirt guy backs away, his tongue darts out again to moisten his lower lip as he very obviously looks me over. Then, just like that, the trio makes themselves scarce, crossing the parking lot to duck into a blue car parked across two spots.

Meanwhile, Victor looks like he’s swallowed a fly. Turning his attention back to me, he scowls.

“Good job,” he says, voice heavily saturated with sarcasm. “Shoulda just let me talk. Now look what you did.”

“I mean, I know I screwed up somehow, but how?” I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. “All I did was say my name.”

“That’s exactly it.” Victor runs a hand through the longest part of his hairdo, fingers twisting through the long blond strands that droop toward his face. “Now I really hope you’re not going to Derry High.”

“Are there any other public high schools around?”

Victor wrinkles his nose. “Not in this dump.”

A honk makes us both jump. We look over, finding the mullet guy practically dangling out of the passenger seat window, tapping his wrist as though to encourage Victor to speed things up. Which is just what he does.

“Just saying, Stella.” Victor adjusts the leather cuff around his wrist. “Derry’s different now. So am I.”

And then finally, Victor takes his leave, just as effortlessly striding across the parking lot and slipping into the waiting car in one fluid motion. Graceful, even in everyday actions. Just as I remember.

As the blue car peels out of the lot, music blaring from the windows, I try to commit the faces of Victor’s friends to memory. But I have a feeling I won’t have a problem with that.

[foundcarcosa]

ccxi.

1. Do your parents ever encourage you to hang out with people that you don’t like? >> He was invested in me making black friends. I wasn’t as interested in that when I was a teenager. I didn’t dislike them, I just didn’t have anything in common with the (alarmingly few) other black kids in my high school at the time. But by this time in my life, I think I understand what he was trying to do. It just didn’t work.

2. Would you think it was odd if someone got fabric paint to decorate their underwear? >> Well, sure, but I’m not one to judge.

3. Do you ever stalk old friends? >> Nah.

4. What year was your worst school picture taken? >> The one I remember best was in ninth grade.

5. What made it the worst? >> I... really don’t know what my face was doing. But I must forgive myself. That was a very tumultuous time in my life.

6. Do you think you could count all the freckles on your body? >> I don’t have any.

7. Do you ever crave a good cuddling? >> Sure.

8. Which of your friends has the coolest siblings? >> ---

9. Are you ever greedy? >> Sure.

10. How much would you pay someone if you never had to go to school again? >> You don’t have to pay me to do what I was already planning on doing.

11. Would you like to be home schooled? >> The opportunity for that is long past, but I want to unschool any child I raise.

12. Would you like to go to an all girls [or if you’re a boy then all boys] school? >> I wouldn’t want to go to any gender-segregated school.

13. Why or why not? >> I don’t see the purpose of dividing a student body based upon... well, the students’ bodies.

14. Is your school’s band any good? >> ---

15. Do you have a favorite lyric from any song >> I have a lot of favourites, but let me see if I can pull one up at random... Ah. “My soul brings tears to angelic eyes” is still a favourite of mine (God Called in Sick Today, AFI). Unfortunately, I just noticed that for some reason half of my digital copy of Black Sails in the Sunset is just... missing. So now I have to download a new copy, but TPB never completely recovered the seeder-ship that it used to have, so I’m stuck on “connecting to peers 0.0%”. :/

16. Who is the biggest attention whore that you know? >> I mean, probably someone in the Cluster B Discord.

17. Is your life no longer enjoyable? >> False.

18. Did you get to see your friends as often as you would have liked to? >> Aside from Sparrow, my entire social circle is online, so I guess I see them as often as they log in.

19. Does orange sherbet sound good right now? >> Not really.

20. Would black hair look good or bad on you? >> I’m sure it’d look fine on me. I’d prefer something more complementary to my colouring, though.

21. Are you on anyone’s hero box on myspace? >> ---

22. Who has the biggest eyes that you know of? >> I’m not sure.

23. Do your wrists ever hurt from typing too much >> No, surprisingly. Probably because I’ve been typing since I was very small.

24. What can you imagine as being the worst thing that could happen to you right now? >> Me falling violently -- like ER-level -- ill at any point today.

25. How many times did you go swimming this summer >> Zero.

26. Have you ever been to a hard rock cafe? >> I’ve been to the one in Times Square, back in 2006. I found it to be a sad sort of place -- overpriced and terribly commercial, lacking in personality. I’d rather go to literally any trashy bar on the LES. Or Duff’s, which boasts an extensive hard-rock history. 27. When was the last time someone called your cell-phone and you didn’t know them? >> The other day. I think it’s still people calling for whomever had this number before me. I haven’t even set up my voicemail on this phone yet because no one calls for me and I don’t feel like getting holiday-related voicemails meant for that other person.

28. Do you hate it when people overuse the phrase ‘lol?’ >> No.

29. Do you ever have those weird little dreams where you’re like half awake? >> Yes, all the time.

30. Do you ever push your pillow off the bed? >> No.

31. What’s more important to you living it up or getting good grades? >> ---

32. What do you think of little children? Annoying as hell or cute? >> I’m pretty fond of children, even when they’re annoying. I imagine it’d be a little different if said child was mine, since I’d never get a break. :p

33. Is there any song that makes you think of your dad? >> Anything by Marvin Gaye, since that’s his favourite singer. (I can honestly see why, his songs are timeless and his voice is lovely.)

34. Do you ever look for comfort in surveys? >> Not really. Mostly for space to think.

35. Do you like frogs? >> Sure, they’re neat as hell.

36. Have you had any really bad experiences while plucking your eyebrows? >> No.

37. Who of your friends acts the most like a prep? >> Can anyone even be a prep once they’ve long passed adolescence...

38. Is the whole prep thing overrated anyway? >> Probably. I wouldn’t know.

39. What’s up with Fergie’s song Big Girls Don’t Cry? >> I don’t know, I’m not familiar with that song.

40. Is it hard to stay friends with someone when one of your close friends hates them? >> It’s difficult when the hating friend doesn’t want anyone else to hang out with said hated friend, or when hating!friend trash-talks hated!friend all the time. When your social circle is closer to a single circle than a venn diagram (or two separate circles), it becomes messy after a while.

41. Have you ever read The Outsiders? >> I read almost all of it sometime in high school, then I dropped it and never picked it back up again. Maybe one day I’ll give it a try again, but it’s not a priority.

42. What did you think of it? >> I guess I didn’t much care for it, since I never finished it.

43. What does your backpack/messenger bag/whatever you use for school look like? >> I don’t go to school, but I have three backpacks. One is a tiny black Jansport for carrying small things hands-free, one is a tropical-print regular-sized backpack for carrying Normandy when I take it places, and the third is a heavy-duty black laptop bag (that one was for Heimdall, which is a fair bit bigger than Normandy).

44. Where did you last go shopping at? >> Meijer.

45. Would it be weird if a person’s real name was Cheeto? >> Well, sure.

46. Is there anyone you want to give a hug to? >> Aside from Xibalbans, I’m not sure. I haven’t initiated a hug in a very long time.

47. What is the difference between giving and receiving a hug? >> Initiation. Also, a hug you give is definitely one you desire. A hug you receive sometimes is just one you tolerate, lol.

48. What are you listening to right now? >> Christmas Canon Rock, Trans-Siberian Orchestra. God, I’m so hype for tonight. (I didn’t choose that song on purpose, though, iTunes is on shuffle.)

49. Do any of your friends have the same name as any of your family members? >> I mean, maybe. 50. Have you seen Talladega Nights? >> Yes.

51. If so what was your favorite scene in it? >> For some reason, “shut up, you little pot-licker, or I’ll put you in the microwave” is a line that punched me right in the funny bone, so I still remember it. I haven’t seen the movie in years, though, so I don’t remember any other favourite parts. I should rewatch it and see if I still find it as funny as I did.

52. How often do you paint your nails? >> Not very often. High effort, low return (the varnish starts chipping pretty fast because of how often and to what ends I use my hands). I might do them today.

53. Have you ever taken a picture of you kissing someone? >> Sure.

54. If you are one of those people who’s always single do you ever long for someone to sit around and take pictures of while kissing? >> ---

55. Can I buy you a ‘drank?’ >> ---

56. If you know what song I’m referring to, why do you think T-Pain says drank and not drink? >> Dialect.

57. How come boys never take surveys? >> They do. Just not as often, I suppose. I wouldn’t know why.

58. What is the last thing you did on powerpoint? >> ---

59. Do your grandparents know what myspace is? >> ---

60. When’s the last time you sprinted? >> I don’t remember.

[machihunnicutt]

Could I get a Flower shop next to Tattoo shop kleinsen? I don't know why but that sounds really cute.

(Hey there! I’m highkey sorry this took so long and also went in a really weird, long direction. Hope you like it anyway lol. I’m also linking the post on archive. Thanks for the prompt it’s adorable!)

Alone (read on ao3.)

Sometimes in the morning when the light was just right, the bouquets in front of the flower shop across the street seemed to glow: deep golds and oranges mixed with the reds and purples and whites of the flower petals. It was better than a normal sunrise with all the added colors. Jared got to work too early often: he always left his apartment with time to get coffee and the occasional pastry at the shop on the way and he liked being able to walk slowly and let rushed looking people with briefcases or sleep clouded eyes cut ahead of him in line.

He liked unlocking the shop in the morning and going through all of the appointments before Connor or Zoe or any of the other artists got there to bother him. He also liked seeing the flower guy open up across the street at the same time. He had messy hair and freckles and looked stupidly excited arranging flowers in big bins and dusting pollen off of his apron. He was kind of cute (of course Jared would never admit this to Connor or Zoe, both of whom pestered him relentlessly whenever they thought he had a crush) but Jared was too cowardly to make a move besides the no doubt awkward smiles he directed his way when they happened to leave work at the same time.

He needed a reason to buy flowers.

“Hell Kleinman, what time did you get in?” A very tired looking Connor Murphy, complete with his signature ‘I didn’t have time to wash my hair, sue me’ bun, extra large coffee (likely his second of the day), and black and paint stained wardrobe, entered.

“8:15. Are you okay man? You look a little worse for wear, more so than usual I mean,” he smirked.

“Fuck off. I had a late night but I should be good after this coffee. My guy’s not coming in until 2:30 right?”

Jared glanced at the day’s schedule and nodded. “I gave him all the paperwork when he was here last time so he should be good to go, provided he likes whatever it is you came up with.”

“Oh he’ll like it,” Connor said with a wry smile. He pulled a sketchbook out of his messenger bag and presented him with an intricate design of waves and an anchor, several names curled in the deep blues like sea creatures. It was the design he’d been commissioned to make. “He gave me kind of a free reign.” Connor Murphy had a flair for design that complimented his steady hand when tattooing people. His portfolio included many pieces that were complicatedly simple.

“Impressive,” he replied sincerely.

Connor leaned his elbows on the counter, directly over Jared’s color coded calendar. “When are you going to let me give you some more ink Kleinman?

"We’ve discussed this.”

“Sure we have,” he said with an eye roll. “Alright, it’s my turn to clean the bathroom so that’s what I’ll be doing if anyone needs me.” He sauntered into the back.

The flower shop guy was out in front of the store again. He was talking to a customer and Jared leaned his head on his palm, and stared at him. He wished he knew his name.

“Are you staring at him again?”

Jared jumped. “I’m not staring. Staring at who? I don’t stare at people. I don’t know what you’re talking about Zoe.” She had come in the front door when he was distracted and was now raising her eyebrows at him critically.

“You should just talk to him you know? He seems nice.”

“It’s not a big deal Zo,” he said, face going red despite himself. “I don’t even know him.”

Zoe sighed. “That’s my point. You always do this dude. You get crushes on strangers or friends of friends and you stare and blush and get awkward about it but you never do anything.”

Because you’re a coward. Because you don’t deserve it. His brain filled in the mean, insecure things it always did. She was right. Zoe was usually right about him.

“Maybe I just don’t want a relationship. Have you ever thought about that?” he said defensively.

“Yeah I have and I know it’s not true.”

He frowned and looked away, back down at the schedule. She had three appointments for today and usually took care of the walk ins. Though not as design minded as her brother, Zoe Murphy was a skilled an efficient tattoo artist. Jared tended to schedule first timers with her because she was good at easing fears and communicating what she was doing as she did it. (He made a point to give nervous clients to anyone but Connor.)

“Hey.” Zoe reached out. She turned his hand over and traced the lined tattooed on his wrist. “We’ve all got each other remember?” She turned her wrist to display the tattoo that matched his: NOT ALONE in black print. Zoe, Connor, and Jared all had the same words. They got them a year ago, shortly after Connor was hired. He’d been up and down in the years before then, dropping out of college his sophomore year and working solitary odd jobs to get by. When Connor’s mental health got bad his physical health quickly followed. He smoked instead of slept and forgot to eat. He isolated himself, dodging Jared’s calls and disappearing whenever Zoe tried to visit him. After a particularly low point (he lost his job at a gas station, started self-harming again, and was MIA for two terrifying days) He showed up at Jared’s apartment looking like a ghost and begged him for help.

“I can’t go to Zoe,” he’d said. “Zoe dealt with me all through high school I can’t do this in front of her again. I’m just spiraling and I know it and I can’t stop.” Jared remembered that day too vividly. His best friend (their relationship had always been a little bumpy but Connor was his best friend) sobbing on his doorstep, looking starved and like he was missing a week’s worth of sleep, at his lowest since high school wasn’t something he could ever forget.

But with time and rest and proper medication and the wonderful, loving, brave Zoe Murphy to set her brother straight on a few things: “You can’t disappear like that. You just can’t. And you can’t hide from me either. I love you and I’m always going to be here whether you like it or not” things got better again. And in an odd turn of events the Murphy siblings fulfilled a bizarre childhood dream of becoming certified tattoo artists (they were fucking weird kids) and Connor started full time at the parlor when Zoe was hired part time to make money while she finished grad school. They got the tattoos to remind each other. Late at night, when the moonlight came in through the window he’d lift his wrist toward the ceiling and squint at the letters in the dark. He couldn’t really see much but the blur of his pale arm without his glasses but he knew the words were there.

The day passed quickly. The morning appointments went on without issue and by lunch Jared was nearly out of work to do.

“Hey can you do me a favor when you go on your lunch break?” Zoe had since tied her hair up into a messy bun, indicating that she had a lot of work to do. He’d noticed her studying in between appointments.

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Alana’s parents are coming over for dinner tonight. It’s kind of a big deal y'know?”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” He exclaimed. Zoe and Alana had been dating for nearly a year and she hadn’t met her parents. Alana had met the rest of the Murphys, an extremely awkward affair by Zoe’s reports, but this was new.

“I don’t know,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I didn’t want to drag it out. But can you grab me a bouquet from across the street? My 1 o'clock is coming in early so I’ll be able to leave faster.”

“I can do that…uh, yeah. I can do that but why didn’t you ask Connor?” He felt his face getting red again.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes I think you should talk to flower guy but that’s not why I’m asking you. I don’t trust my brother to buy me things anymore.”

“Hey!” Connor called from the next room.

“Con I asked you to get eggs and milk and you came home with 4 bags of Cheetos and nail polish remover.”

“The Cheetos were on sale. I got distracted!”

“Please Jared?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll get you your flowers but I’m not going to talk to him unless I have a perfect opportunity.”

“It’s not a fairy tale Kleinman!” Connor called.

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop Murphy!”

“Deal,” Zoe said. “I don’t have a preference on flowers. It might be advantageous to ask an employee for help.”

“Don’t push it.”

He fixed his collar and cleaned his glasses in the bathroom before he left. He could hear the buzz of a needle as he stared at himself in the mirror and debated switching his watch to his other wrist to cover up his tattoo. He wasn’t ashamed of it or anything. In fact, it made him feel stronger. It made him feel like he belonged. But he got nervous. People figured out he worked at a tattoo parlor and got judge-y. They looked at the ink at his wrist and the tilt of their eyebrows asked when he’d get a real job. He fought back the urge and left the bathroom. He could do this. All he had to do was buy flowers. It was just a crush. It wasn’t a big deal.

The bell on the door dinged when he walked in and the guy looked up. Fuck. He felt his face go red as the guy smiled. “Welcome, I’m Evan. L-let me know if you have any questions.”

Evan…he had a slight stutter but the flowers he was arranging looked unified and his hands didn’t shake.

“Thanks,” he replied, looking away quickly. He scanned the rows of flowers and tried not to look completely awkward. “Do you uh…” he came closer to the counter where Evan was.  "I’m looking for a bouquet to impress a girlfriend’s parents.“

"Your girlfriend?”

“Oh, no…not my girlfriend I’m sorry that phrasing was weird. I’m getting flowers for my friend. She’s meeting her girlfriend’s parents tonight and she’s too busy to pick a bouquet so I’m uh…I’m doing it. I don’t have a girlfriend though. I’m gay. And I’m single and I need to stop talking oh my god.”

Evan laughed. “You’re fine. You work at the tattoo place across the street right? I think I’ve seen you over there.” It might have been his imagination but he thought Evan sounded kind of eager.

“Yeah, I do. So does my friend.”

“Are you a tattoo artist?”

“Oh god no.” Jared crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously. “I make the schedules and balance the books and shit. I wish I was talented like that.”

Evan’s shoulders relaxed a fraction. “Still, it must be a cool place to work.”

“It is,” he said. “I uh…” He debated for approximately 5 seconds. “I have a tattoo though,” he said, turning his wrist to Evan. The other man leaned over the counter to get a look, small smile forming on his lips. Zoe was right, he was as nice as he was cute.

“I love that! I’ve always w-wanted to get a tattoo but I’m s-scared about it hurting or I don’t know, freaking out when they do it and moving too much so the whole thing gets messed up. Is that the only one you have?”

“Yeah, it was a friend thing. We all got them together. It was pretty special.”

“I’m going to do it one d-day.” Evan blushed furiously, determinedly.

“You should. My friend Zoe could do one for you. She’s great.”

There was a beat before Evan startled. “I’m sorry. You need help and I work here I should b-be t-talking your ear off.”

“You’re good dude. I just need a nice bouquet.” He eyed the arrangement he was working on. “Like that one. Can I have that one?”

“Of course you can.” Evan smiled again and Jared couldn’t feel his face.

“I’ll wrap it up for you in just a second.” He placed and replaced a few more flowers in the arrangement. It was bright, with peonies and hyacinth and hydrangeas.

“Thanks.” God he should say something. It was dumb to just stay silent. It was dumb to let the opportunity slip away. It was dumb…

“Hey, um. C-can I ask your n-name?” He looked up at Evan.

“Jared. I’m Jared.”

“Jared,” Evan repeated. “Would it be totally uncomfortable if I asked for y-your number?”

“Like the number to the shop?”

“N-no like your cell number. So I could ask y-you out.”

“Oh. No that wouldn’t be uncomfortable. I mean…I’m making things uncomfortable now but I can definitely give you my number.”

“Okay. C-cool. I’ll wrap this up and you can um…” he grabbed a post it and pen and handed them to Jared. “Do that.”

“Okay, I will.” He tried not to smile too much. He’d been around so many hard and edgy people working where he did. It made him feel out of place sometimes. But Evan wasn’t edgy. Evan was soft and gentle with flowers and speech. Maybe he wouldn’t feel out of place with him.

“Here you go,” Evan chirped, handing him the bouquet and turning to the register to ring it up. “I hope I see you around Jared.” He added after Jared had handed him the money and post it.

“Yeah. I hope so too.”

He didn’t feel alone.

[saltrails]

Flat Car Stake Pockets

Part of my free time in May was consumed developing detail parts for flat cars. It’s a subject that has interested a number of local modellers for many years and suddenly the time had come to give it a try.

During the steam era, most flat cars used by the Canadian Pacific Railway used pressed steel stake pockets that were riveted by the flanges to the side sills of the cars.  There were a number of distinctive elements to the shape used by the Railway and for some of us, that makes them a signature detail.  

Unlike some of the cast pocket designs used elsewhere, the CPR stake pockets were tapered.  This helped to prevent stakes from dropping through to the roadbed.  Perhaps even more distinctive, the pocket included pressed metal triangular “darts” that materially strengthened the pressed steel shape.  

Even though the cars were painted black and much detail is lost in shadow, those darts can be seen in most photos as they catch the light in a distinct way. Its one of those things you see once you know it is there.

Pockets built to this design were not all alike, although most variations are subtle and only noticed when you start to take measurements and photos.  As a pressed steel shape, there is some natural variability.  In addition, they were made by different folks over many decades and so designs evolved. How do they vary?  

They vary in size – with the largest being up to an inch taller and wider than the smallest versions.  The pocket itself varies by fractions of an inch from one version to another.  

And there are detail differences.  Some have welded-on beads on top and bottom of the openings; others do not.  The beading is approx. ¼” or 5/16” round steel wire, so is about the same thickness as the pressed steel.  

On some, the top and bottom edges of the flanges do not look horizontal or parallel.  Instead, they appear to be “taller” at the outer edges creating a very subtle bow-tie effect (no doubt this appearance arises from contraction of the height of the metal when pressing the darts into the pocket sides).  

I’m told that some pockets include a small hole in the outer pocket face for nailing a stake into place.

Over many years, a few modellers have looked at how to model them.  For me that started after reading an article in RailModel Journal by Richard Hendrickson that indicated the Tichy flatcar was a good stand in for CPR cars.  A family trip with a lunch break at the Revelstoke railway museum took my interest further as I had my first “hands on” opportunity to photograph and measure a flat car.  That was also the time when Brian Pate’s Norwest Kits became available, providing a greater level of accuracy for those who wanted it.  

Initially, many of us simply carved the Tichy stake pockets to more closely look like the CPR design.  That still works.

I spoke to a manufacturer about having them made as lost wax brass detail parts – but they were too slim to survive that process.  

Another collaborator looked seriously at creating a stamp and die to form them from shim metal.  But the costs and technology to have the tooling made was out of reach.  

On one model, strip styrene was cut and glued to form the basic pocket shape, rivets were harvested from an Athearn boxcar model and glued on, and scale 3” square styrene strip was cut into dart shaped bits to form nice looking pockets. Not difficult, but wow, was that tedious!  And no taper.  Oops!

Several years later, another field trip resulted in 3D artwork for a CPR fishbelly side-sill flatcar.  The model includes the stake pockets. (The project remains idle for now, but will have its day.)  

Then along came the Chad Boaz kits – without stake pockets.  I bought a few from Allen Ferguson of Black Cat Decals. He handles all the import hassle from the USA, includes his wonderful decals, and is a pleasure to work with. 

http://www.blackcatdecals.com/product-category/other-products/rollinfstock/

That got me started thinking about how to secure good-looking pockets for the models.  When an on-line conversation on the Canadian Pacific Historical Association Yahoo e-mail list asked the same question, I made the mistake of saying I could do it. LOL!  And so the project started.

The pocket artwork already existed.  In fact, I’ve drawn and re-drawn them several times, always trying to find the sweet spot between the technical capability of printed parts and the best possible appearance. Some versions had solid centres – no opening – as one way to ensure they are strong.  When painted black, this is not really noticeable with the viewing angles we use in normal operation.  But not practical if you want stakes in the pockets!  

Other versions used hollow openings and experimented with more or less wall thickness inside the opening.  

It’s at times like these I am no rivet counter.  Instead of wall thickness of .002”, the parts have to be approximately .013” thick.  Only 6.5 times scale!  LOL!  Even .013” thick is a test of the technology.  I routinely have parts printed by Shapeways.  But rather than using their (heavy looking to me) design criteria, I select their “print it anyway” function for my personal designs.  That allows me to print finer parts – but only to the limits of the technology.

Another element of not being a rivet counter: the rivets on the pockets are not dome shaped.  They are like hex nuts.  And the inside of the darts is filled in – not “dart shaped”.  Sorry!

For this project, the goal was to produce parts folks could order on-line. The design turned out to be too fine for Shapeways to allow me to offer direct sales from Shapeways.  Instead, I collected requests from a number of modellers, ordered all the pockets in bulk, and then re-packaged them and sent them to each address.  

The parts had some problems which will inform and improve future designs.  To keep the cost down, the best way to do multiple parts is to combine them in sprues, so they are printed as a single part. For this model, the sprues were too narrow and were broken during the cleaning and packaging at Shapeways. Many of the pockets fell off the sprues. Similarly, some modellers wanted the pockets with mounting pins on the back.  Those were also too narrow and broke when Shapeways cleaned and packaged them. Lesson learned.    

Nonetheless, the look of the pockets is pretty good.  The overly thick material is still very slim and the darts catch the light in a way that should enhance the models and say “CPR”.

I need to get some assembled and painted!    

The sprues are available for sale on Shapeways in the larger scales.  One of the benefits of a larger scale is that you don’t bump into the technical limits of 3d printing as quickly.  Here’s an image: model pockets

[leehaws]

John Collins is the Rarest Jewel

Atlanta Hawks power forward John Collins is, in just his second NBA season, already making the first leap of his career. He’s a walking (also running and jumping) double-double who, after missing the first 15 games of this season with a left ankle injury, currently boasts the NBA’s fourth-highest two-point field goal percentage and is averaging 22.9 points and 12.7 rebounds per game in December.

Collins is more efficient than last year, with a usage rate that’s increased by almost seven points. There’s some undeveloped Amar’e Stoudemire here, the incessant jackhammer who doesn’t know his own limitations but can’t wait to figure out what they are, or if they even exist. If for whatever reason you’re still not impressed, so far he’s doing it all without ever having any designed opportunity to create for himself.

“We make a big deal about not running anything for him,” Hawks head coach Lloyd Pierce said. “But everything kind of runs through him.”

Collins gets involved without getting in the way. He bounces into put-back dunks and treats the paint like a runway. This is a skill opponents can’t really gameplan against, and it was nurtured in college by Wake Forest head coach Danny Manning, back when Collins was always the most athletic player on the court. His ability to leverage that advantage over everyone else is a major reason why his potential feels like a map that hasn’t been drawn. If he’s this good existing outside Pierce’s playbook, it’s scary to imagine what he’ll be when his number is regularly called and teammates are able to thrive off him instead of the other way around.

“Coaches aren’t drawing up a set play where they say ‘JC, here go get a bucket. Here, this play is for you to score,’” Collins told VICE Sports. “I think I just had to learn how [to score] without the ball in my hands. Now, when I can do that with elite talent, or more NBA talent around me, it looks that much better, you know?”

After an impressive albeit understandably overlooked rookie season, Collins spent last summer at Atlanta’s new practice facility, the Emory Sports Medicine Complex—“It’s like a country club with a basketball court,” he told me—tiring himself through late-night workouts alongside Hawks guard Tyler Dorsey, his best friend on the team. In an effort to become the most quintessentially modern big he could possibly be, while also slowing the game down and adjusting to the league’s blurry tempo, Collins focused on ways to expand his awareness and make better use of his physical tools. He tuned his ball-handling. Launched countless jump shots.

“I know how to play basketball. I know the flow of the game,” he says. “But it was always too fast. I wanted to try to see if I could slow it down and see if the pace would slow down if I worked on a few things.”

Gaudy box scores are enough of a draw towards any player who just turned 21, but even more impressive is how soon his game has mutated into what it currently is. Collins is as overambitious as any second-year player whose team needs him to dominate (which is reflected by a high turnover rate), but over the past few weeks he’s set himself on a different track.

“John Collins. He’s a beast, man.”

He’s catching, finishing, and rebounding everything in sight, drawing fouls like a star, and quietly understanding where to whip the ball against defenses that rotate to double him in the paint (his assist rate has skyrocketed this year). But some of the most revealing moments pop whenever Collins veers off-road to create something out of nothing. The play seen below begins with Trae Young setting a back screen to ostensibly free Dewayne Dedmon up for a lob. But Collins’s man, Ed Davis, sniffs it out and immediately picks Dedmon up.

Once Collins realizes that Jared Dudley is momentarily confused by the switch, he unleashes a graceful Eurostep that was not physically intended for use by anyone his size.

“He’s a four, but he moves like a three,” Hawks guard DeAndre Bembry told VICE Sports. “He shoots like a two.”

In 1,785 minutes as a rookie, Collins took nine non-corner threes. In 432 minutes this year he’s already jacked up 22. Only four have gone in, but the Hawks are happy with how comfortable he already looks doing a new thing that’s ultimately necessary to unlock even more for himself and his teammates.

“We’re trying to expand his three-point game. He only shot five percent of his shots last year from three,” Pierce said. “It’s a number we want to increase, but we want to do it at a very moderate pace. It’s not just ‘stand out there and shoot threes’ because you’re taking so much of his other game away, but that’s something that has to grow in time.”

“Coach [Pierce] was telling me ‘I want to see you shoot more threes. More threes,’” Collins told VICE Sports. “Sometimes I’m timid or not really too confident because I’ve never had to shoot threes in my career. I didn’t attempt a three at Wake or in high school at all. So it’s a little new and the learning curve is super high, but I’m doing my best and feel like I’m getting better with the jumper.”

Collins’s mechanics are lovely. He also won’t hesitate to turn a wide-open look into a drive, either to deliver a quick dump off or attack a closeout and finish himself. He’s thinking faster, on the fly, syncing his brain up with muscles that go zero to 100 on command.

During his rookie year, teammates would get on him for holding back some of the strength they knew he had. They’d chastise him. “He used to just do some little soft things,” Bembry says with a smile. “He’s a lot more physical than he used to be. John Collins. He’s a beast, man.”

Today, he plays basketball like an immortal kamikaze pilot. That includes standing up one of the game’s most able post scorers and making him claw for every inch, or skying into traffic and gobbling a ball off the glass.

He’s a rolling maestro who regularly finds himself in the right spot at the right time. He thrives midair, contorting his 6’10” frame in ways that defy physics, gravity, and every other fundamental law that exists to govern humanity.

“We know if we give it to him,” Dorsey told VICE Sports. “That’s gonna be an assist.”

Don’t let this ridiculous finish (which is also the first time Young ever assisted one of Collins’s buckets) distract you from how quickly Collins transforms into Sonic the Hedgehog upon realizing a transition opportunity is afoot.

“He’s the guy that kind of ignites everything for us offensively…His ability to catch pretty much anything, in the air or low,” Pierce said. “You just have a bounce and an energy in John that our offense is a little bit better when he’s out on the floor.”

But Collins wants more. For his three-point shot to be feared and for an evolving post-game to be something he can lean on as a real option, which it currently is not. There’s also work to be done on the other end. “I definitely need to learn how to at least survive out there on the perimeter as a big guy,” Collins told VICE Sports. “Learning how to guard smaller guys, especially with my athleticism, the way I move.”

Until then, he’ll have to settle (lol) for life as a priceless building block on a rebuilding organization that nailed a late first-round pick they could’ve otherwise squandered. The Hawks aren’t great when Collins plays, but their offense scores 5.3 more points per 100 possessions when he’s in the game. They go from ineffective on the glass to owning it, and their shot distribution changes somewhat dramatically: With Collins on the court, the percentage of Atlanta’s shots fired from the corner is 11.4 percent (good for first in the league) and they collectively live at the rim.

“I want to find plays to use him more. Still without calling a play, but to use him more, to have him involved in every play,” Pierce said. “Because his roll creates Kevin Huerter threes. His roll creates Trae Young layups. When teams don’t tag that’s when he gets the lobs.”

Seen below, the attention Collins draws rumbling towards the rim helps Jeremy Lin drive in for a layup. Markieff Morris refuses to get dunked on.

For some, this take will be held fresh out of an 800-degree oven, but there’s a decent chance Collins will wind up as one of the three best players from his draft class. With Jayson Tatum, Donovan Mitchell, Lauri Markkanen, De’Aaron Fox, Jonathan Isaac, Kyle Kuzma, Jarrett Allen, Lonzo Ball, Dennis Smith Jr., and several other blue-chip prospects—like Markelle Fultz, Josh Jackson, Frank Ntilikina, and…dear god this draft class is so good—in this pool, that sounds like an impossible statement. Collins was drafted 19th overall and is already spectacular thriving off others, but he’s yet to exist as anything more than a supremely gifted complementary piece. (Nearly three quarters of his baskets are assisted.)

That’s perfectly fine, though. What Collins projects to be does not grow on trees. Relative to score-first wings and electric point guards, the rim-running, paint-diving, pick-and-popping power forward who switches on the perimeter, spaces the floor, protects the rim, passes, and puts the ball on the deck without hesitation is the rarest jewel. the kind of player who indirectly makes the game so much easier for everyone else, and every team wants one. (Think “more explosive Al Horford.”)

For now, Collins is moldable energy in a situation where expectations are low. The Hawks are 7-23 and should have two first-round picks in next year’s draft (their own and one owed by the Dallas Mavericks) to cultivate alongside him, Huerter, and Young, who’s pseudo-brilliantly stumbling through his rookie year. It’s an environment that will soon be crowded by elite young talent, and Collins is the perfect player to accentuate their strengths in so many different ways. When/if his outside shot comes around, he’ll be able to coexist with any type of big, including Zion Williamson (it’s hard not to faint when day-dreaming about that collective athleticism).

Today, Collins is seemingly in the background, putting up absurd numbers as Atlanta’s best player. He may also be one of the organization’s most appreciable forces for the next ten years. Just wait until his name gets in the playbook.

John Collins is the Rarest Jewel syndicated from https://justinbetreviews.wordpress.com/

[flauntpage]

John Collins is the Rarest Jewel

Atlanta Hawks power forward John Collins is, in just his second NBA season, already making the first leap of his career. He’s a walking (also running and jumping) double-double who, after missing the first 15 games of this season with a left ankle injury, currently boasts the NBA’s fourth-highest two-point field goal percentage and is averaging 22.9 points and 12.7 rebounds per game in December.

Collins is more efficient than last year, with a usage rate that’s increased by almost seven points. There’s some undeveloped Amar’e Stoudemire here, the incessant jackhammer who doesn’t know his own limitations but can’t wait to figure out what they are, or if they even exist. If for whatever reason you're still not impressed, so far he’s doing it all without ever having any designed opportunity to create for himself.

“We make a big deal about not running anything for him,” Hawks head coach Lloyd Pierce said. “But everything kind of runs through him.”

Collins gets involved without getting in the way. He bounces into put-back dunks and treats the paint like a runway. This is a skill opponents can't really gameplan against, and it was nurtured in college by Wake Forest head coach Danny Manning, back when Collins was always the most athletic player on the court. His ability to leverage that advantage over everyone else is a major reason why his potential feels like a map that hasn’t been drawn. If he’s this good existing outside Pierce’s playbook, it’s scary to imagine what he’ll be when his number is regularly called and teammates are able to thrive off him instead of the other way around.

“Coaches aren’t drawing up a set play where they say ‘JC, here go get a bucket. Here, this play is for you to score,’” Collins told VICE Sports. “I think I just had to learn how [to score] without the ball in my hands. Now, when I can do that with elite talent, or more NBA talent around me, it looks that much better, you know?”

After an impressive albeit understandably overlooked rookie season, Collins spent last summer at Atlanta’s new practice facility, the Emory Sports Medicine Complex—“It’s like a country club with a basketball court,” he told me—tiring himself through late-night workouts alongside Hawks guard Tyler Dorsey, his best friend on the team. In an effort to become the most quintessentially modern big he could possibly be, while also slowing the game down and adjusting to the league’s blurry tempo, Collins focused on ways to expand his awareness and make better use of his physical tools. He tuned his ball-handling. Launched countless jump shots.

“I know how to play basketball. I know the flow of the game,” he says. “But it was always too fast. I wanted to try to see if I could slow it down and see if the pace would slow down if I worked on a few things.”

Gaudy box scores are enough of a draw towards any player who just turned 21, but even more impressive is how soon his game has mutated into what it currently is. Collins is as overambitious as any second-year player whose team needs him to dominate (which is reflected by a high turnover rate), but over the past few weeks he’s set himself on a different track.

"John Collins. He’s a beast, man.”

He's catching, finishing, and rebounding everything in sight, drawing fouls like a star, and quietly understanding where to whip the ball against defenses that rotate to double him in the paint (his assist rate has skyrocketed this year). But some of the most revealing moments pop whenever Collins veers off-road to create something out of nothing. The play seen below begins with Trae Young setting a back screen to ostensibly free Dewayne Dedmon up for a lob. But Collins’s man, Ed Davis, sniffs it out and immediately picks Dedmon up.

Once Collins realizes that Jared Dudley is momentarily confused by the switch, he unleashes a graceful Eurostep that was not physically intended for use by anyone his size.

“He’s a four, but he moves like a three,” Hawks guard DeAndre Bembry told VICE Sports. “He shoots like a two.”

In 1,785 minutes as a rookie, Collins took nine non-corner threes. In 432 minutes this year he’s already jacked up 22. Only four have gone in, but the Hawks are happy with how comfortable he already looks doing a new thing that's ultimately necessary to unlock even more for himself and his teammates.

"We’re trying to expand his three-point game. He only shot five percent of his shots last year from three," Pierce said. "It’s a number we want to increase, but we want to do it at a very moderate pace. It’s not just 'stand out there and shoot threes' because you’re taking so much of his other game away, but that’s something that has to grow in time."

“Coach [Pierce] was telling me ‘I want to see you shoot more threes. More threes,’” Collins told VICE Sports. “Sometimes I’m timid or not really too confident because I’ve never had to shoot threes in my career. I didn’t attempt a three at Wake or in high school at all. So it’s a little new and the learning curve is super high, but I’m doing my best and feel like I’m getting better with the jumper.”

Collins’s mechanics are lovely. He also won’t hesitate to turn a wide-open look into a drive, either to deliver a quick dump off or attack a closeout and finish himself. He’s thinking faster, on the fly, syncing his brain up with muscles that go zero to 100 on command.

During his rookie year, teammates would get on him for holding back some of the strength they knew he had. They’d chastise him. “He used to just do some little soft things,” Bembry says with a smile. “He’s a lot more physical than he used to be. John Collins. He’s a beast, man.”

Today, he plays basketball like an immortal kamikaze pilot. That includes standing up one of the game’s most able post scorers and making him claw for every inch, or skying into traffic and gobbling a ball off the glass.

He’s a rolling maestro who regularly finds himself in the right spot at the right time. He thrives midair, contorting his 6’10” frame in ways that defy physics, gravity, and every other fundamental law that exists to govern humanity.

“We know if we give it to him,” Dorsey told VICE Sports. “That’s gonna be an assist.”

Don't let this ridiculous finish (which is also the first time Young ever assisted one of Collins’s buckets) distract you from how quickly Collins transforms into Sonic the Hedgehog upon realizing a transition opportunity is afoot.

“He’s the guy that kind of ignites everything for us offensively...His ability to catch pretty much anything, in the air or low,” Pierce said. “You just have a bounce and an energy in John that our offense is a little bit better when he’s out on the floor.”

But Collins wants more. For his three-point shot to be feared and for an evolving post-game to be something he can lean on as a real option, which it currently is not. There’s also work to be done on the other end. “I definitely need to learn how to at least survive out there on the perimeter as a big guy,” Collins told VICE Sports. "Learning how to guard smaller guys, especially with my athleticism, the way I move."

Until then, he’ll have to settle (lol) for life as a priceless building block on a rebuilding organization that nailed a late first-round pick they could’ve otherwise squandered. The Hawks aren’t great when Collins plays, but their offense scores 5.3 more points per 100 possessions when he’s in the game. They go from ineffective on the glass to owning it, and their shot distribution changes somewhat dramatically: With Collins on the court, the percentage of Atlanta’s shots fired from the corner is 11.4 percent (good for first in the league) and they collectively live at the rim.

“I want to find plays to use him more. Still without calling a play, but to use him more, to have him involved in every play,” Pierce said. “Because his roll creates Kevin Huerter threes. His roll creates Trae Young layups. When teams don’t tag that’s when he gets the lobs.”

Seen below, the attention Collins draws rumbling towards the rim helps Jeremy Lin drive in for a layup. Markieff Morris refuses to get dunked on.

For some, this take will be held fresh out of an 800-degree oven, but there’s a decent chance Collins will wind up as one of the three best players from his draft class. With Jayson Tatum, Donovan Mitchell, Lauri Markkanen, De’Aaron Fox, Jonathan Isaac, Kyle Kuzma, Jarrett Allen, Lonzo Ball, Dennis Smith Jr., and several other blue-chip prospects—like Markelle Fultz, Josh Jackson, Frank Ntilikina, and...dear god this draft class is so good—in this pool, that sounds like an impossible statement. Collins was drafted 19th overall and is already spectacular thriving off others, but he's yet to exist as anything more than a supremely gifted complementary piece. (Nearly three quarters of his baskets are assisted.)

That's perfectly fine, though. What Collins projects to be does not grow on trees. Relative to score-first wings and electric point guards, the rim-running, paint-diving, pick-and-popping power forward who switches on the perimeter, spaces the floor, protects the rim, passes, and puts the ball on the deck without hesitation is the rarest jewel. the kind of player who indirectly makes the game so much easier for everyone else, and every team wants one. (Think "more explosive Al Horford.")

For now, Collins is moldable energy in a situation where expectations are low. The Hawks are 7-23 and should have two first-round picks in next year’s draft (their own and one owed by the Dallas Mavericks) to cultivate alongside him, Huerter, and Young, who’s pseudo-brilliantly stumbling through his rookie year. It's an environment that will soon be crowded by elite young talent, and Collins is the perfect player to accentuate their strengths in so many different ways. When/if his outside shot comes around, he’ll be able to coexist with any type of big, including Zion Williamson (it's hard not to faint when day-dreaming about that collective athleticism).

Today, Collins is seemingly in the background, putting up absurd numbers as Atlanta’s best player. He may also be one of the organization’s most appreciable forces for the next ten years. Just wait until his name gets in the playbook.

John Collins is the Rarest Jewel published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/