#(probably a deal went wrong or a rival showing up or whatever. idk)

[light-lanterne]

ahoy ! guess who almost died today x.x

[rhysismydaddy]

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

______________________________________________

~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin. 

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. 

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian. 

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain. 

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting. 

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know. 

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying. 

“Konechno.” Of course. 

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again. 

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death. 

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman. 

My father is an arms-dealer. 

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy. 

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t. 

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty. 

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people. 

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly. 

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer. 

“Starik,” I tease. Old man. 

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York. 

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise. 

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase. 

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital. 

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait. 

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details. 

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé. 

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored. 

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him. 

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option. 

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room. 

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature. 

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more. 

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest. 

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name. 

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now. 

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected. 

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello. 

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield. 

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello. 

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction. 

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave. 

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck. 

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys. 

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official. 

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual. 

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it. 

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

Tags: @elorcan-trash @januarystears @emikadreams @sjm-things @santas-dwynwen @thebitchupstairs @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @masstrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[saezutte]

yuletide letter 2020

Dear Yuletide Writer, 

Oh, hello again. I didn’t see you there.

This year, I have transcended earthly desires and struggled to find any fandoms to request. I want nothing. I wish my cat was nominated as a Yuletide fandom so we could all write stories about her life. 

Nonetheless, I have some small requests!!!! I believe you can make me happy in ways I’ve never been happy before. I trust you. Happy end of 2020, the cursed year, I hope you are blessed with rest. 

My AO3: saezutte

My public twitter: juncassis

My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.

Do Not Wants

[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]

Death (of major/important/beloved characters)

Suicide attempts, self-harm

Rape (outright; OK with dub con, manipulation, noncon short of violent-rape-for-violence-only)

Eating disorders, body shaming

Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all

Established relationship

Cheating

Actual Unrequited Feelings

Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)

Scat or watersports

Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time

Homophobia as a plot device

Excessive attention to identity or politics, sometimes known as “issue fic”

Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.

General preferences:

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.

If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.

I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!”

I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.

I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever.

I love porn, if you want to just write me some quick porn, that’s great. I do prefer (per the established relationship DNW above) that it be first time or get together porn. I know that can make it hard to just write porn, but I don’t need much to be convinced of sex.

Nirvana in Fire (TV)

Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case!

I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.

I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.

Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.Prompts:

Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him

They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]

Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting

omega verse where MCS was an alpha before he “died" but an omega after he came back.

AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines

anything just get them together and happy.

Tokyo Babylon 

Characters: Subaru, Seishiro

I read Tokyo Babylon as a child and I imprinted on it deeply, now I love politics, ghosts, stalking, age differences, magic. Within the CLAMP canon, I love TB for its episodic focus on smaller stories, the commentary on contemporary society, and Seishiro being an outright creep. I love onmyojutsu and exorcism and Subaru’s innocence getting ruined. I love the city of Tokyo (where I currently live! but do not be intimidated, I don’t know the city well because we’ve been in quarantine most of the time I’ve been here and won’t judge you for details.) I’m open to fics that comply with X canon or not.

With Seishiro/Subaru: It’s bad but I love that predator/prey dynamic where the predator ends up being hopelessly entranced/obsessed/in love with the prey. My read was always that Seishiro lost the bet and couldn’t admit it—he’s just, you know, killing twins to avoid dealing with his feelings! Relatable! (?!?!) Subaru, I love particularly in his evolution from innocent to adult in love to betrayed. I’d prefer post-TB fic to during-TB fic (so Subaru knows Seishiro’s deal and loves him anyway.) I am also a fan of Hokuto and you should feel free to bring her back to life to troll if you desire.

Prompts:

AU or reincarnation plot where they are Heian period rival onmyoji

Because this is such a heavily place-based series, if you are a writer who likes to play with details of real life locations, I’d be interested in versions of different “Babylons” if you have an idea for it.

Tragic first times post-TB lol

Seishiro is a virgin the first time they have sex

I’d probably love some fucked up dub con for this, however you want to play it

Honestly, do whatever you want as long as you don’t fuck me over like CLAMP did.  

プリティーリズム | Pretty Rhythm

Characters: Hiro, Koji

Pretty Rhythm came to me at a weird time in my life. I lived in a house of spiders in Yokohama and did nothing for eight weeks. King of Prism cheer screening transformed my life and I didn’t even know what it was. Then I got weirdly deep into Rainbow Live and the Pretty Rhythm franchise overall. I am a scientist of prism theory. Idk why I like it, it’s just wholesome and crazy and there are penguins and DJ Koo. I love every TRF song because I’m a 90s gay at heart. It’s truly the end point of all media development. The prism world represents the fearsome power of virtual/digital+real hybrid life. Yes, I know I’ve lost my mind. I went to one of the real Prism Stone stores, the one in Harajuku.

Hiro Hayami: one time a fujoshi asked me to describe what types of anime boys I like and the first type I listed was “prince but bad” and my example was Hiro. Hiro is the crazy gay stalker disaster of my heart. He overcomes great hardship to achieve his dreams and foolishly falls in love along the way and he does everything wrong and Koji keeps leaving him. The moment when Hiro is crowned King of Prism in Pride the Hero was one of the top ten moments of my life. I made friends who don’t even know Japanese watch the movie unsubtitled with me on my birthday.

With Koji, I’m a bit guilty of “I want to give the character I love the most the character he loves the most” so I do like him less (it would be impossible to like him equal to how much I love Hiro). But he has many good points that make him perfect, like how he also sucks underneath his chill exterior. I love to see him go apeshit.

I also love everyone else in Rainbow Live, no exceptions. I love all the girls. If you do write the girls, I would prefer they not be paired with the OTR boys. I would prefer they be paired with each other, any combo is good.

Prompts:

this is the sort of pairing where I love fic where they split up and then 15 years later meet again as washed up has-beens but there’s still time for them to find each other

Canon-compliant companion piece showing the “background” of them getting together romantically over the course of the series.

AU where Koji is a prism world fairy sent to inspire Hiro but Hiro is kind of a mess

dirty, dirty porn… let Hiro get fucked

I have a lot of doujinshi with multiple copies of Hiro (a la the Mugen Hug jump) but I’d like something where Hiro gets overwhelmed by many Kojis

They start fake dating as a publicity stunt and have to keep doing it… especially good if it starts when Koji is at max hating Hiro level

Ring Fit Adventure 

Characters: Dragaux, Ring

Keeping this one simple: I like to be encouraged to exercise by a storyline and a trainer that never mentions weight loss, lol. The world is fun and pretty and I love that buff dragon.

AND THEN THE PAIRING. I’m sure Nintendo has some market research that told them a certain subset of users are very motivated by enemies who seemed to once be lovers or best friends. I am that user.

What is up with these two? They were so in love! Now Dragaux is a horrible swole bro (not in a good bro way) and Ring is training me instead? I can’t compete with their love. It’s the only time the game makes me feel inadequate.

You can keep Dragaux and Ring as dragon/ring-like as you like. Obviously I’m down with dragon fucking but you can also make him a human fucker too. I play with Ring on the masculine voice setting for maximum BL vibes as I exercise, but, you know, it’s a ring, I don’t think it has gender. Feel free to incorporate the player or other random characters too.

Prompts:

AU where Dragaux and Ring owned a gym together and Dragaux sold out to a big chain of gyms

What happened between them when Dragaux was still captured, pre-game? Bondage… literally??

Ring is always bossing me to train, but I’m really doing all the work. Why doesn’t he fight Dragaux on his own for once?? (because the sexual tension is too powerful.)

Tragic flashback to their dramatic break-up ending with their present day reconciliation.

Player/Dragaux/Ring threesome??? I’ve unlocked the sexercises???

With all fandoms, you are free to disregard the prompts and do your own thing. If you’re not sure about me, you can probably dm seriesera on twitter, she knows what I’m into. 

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. Please stalk me online to get more details on my bullshit. I hope you have a nice time.

Best,

Caitlin 

[sybariticnomad]

BNHA Prompts I want to read/write

>Ghibli AUs- literally any of them would be great but especially Princess Mononoke rn

>Rival School Gang AU- Bakusquad gang vs Dekusquad gang. Don't fuck with Uraraka bc she’ll wreck you w a smile. also Deku totally is one of those people who angry cries. Drama ensue when canon villains are really just out of town school gang that tries to take over their town and squads gotta unite whether they like it or nah. Featuring all might, Aizawa, and co as concerned teachers, detectives and whatnot that just wanna see these kids safe and sound

>Uraraka grew up on wrong side of the tracks AU- doesn’t necessarily have to be completely au, just that Uraraka growing up poor incorporating some of the less glamorous parts of being poor so she’s seen shit and done shit and wants to do good for the world now so no one else has to go through what she went through. I just want this to be a part of her character background so bad. Just scenes with her encountering villains or smalltime gangs and being like “dude we were neighbors I went through the same shit you did fam. Don't do this.”

>Uraraka using her anti-gravity quirk to do what hulk did to Loki in the first avengers movie and everyone being fuckin SHOOK. (can you tell who one of my main faves is yet? lol)

>A fic about ua kids literally being that, Kids. Shenanigans, Movie nights to binge the Rocky series only to end up too pumped to sleep so they all start training like crazy(Bakubro included), youtube channels, Todoroki secretly being messy af and joining the Tea Party where the ladies plus Todoroki spill tea and throw shade EVERYWHERE (all the best news comes from there), Bakugo growing and awkwardly trying to show his appreciation for his classmates and also awkwardly trying to mend his relationship with Deku (teen angst at it’s best and Deku is unsure of how to handle it but Uraraka and Kirishima help the dumbasses), Mina and Uraraka explore their sexuality together bc fuck you if they aint bisexual queens at the very least, Uraraka being one of the few willing to back talk Bakugo so she passive aggressively gives him nicknames like he gives her until he starts calling people by their names(like sweetie bc his sweat smells like burnt caramel, he calls her peaches sometimes bc of her country accent and a couple of other things if ya know what I mean) and eventually the whole class gets in on the nicknaming stuff and Bakugo is Sick Of People Stealing His Shit, Urarakas twang and Todoroki’s education in modern slang because explaining to him what being messy means and spilling tea is funny af (he starts using it all the time in a super awkward way “I believe that this situation calls for some messy retaliation” with long deadpan stares), how many of these kids can't wink and just give you long awkward blinks, teacher appreciation day gifts that get all the way out of hand (Aizawa gets the benign noise cancelling headphones and death wish coffee and then someone sends him a bottle of tequila and he wants to know which fucking child got a hold of alcohol to both admonish and thank them. Poor all might gets all the medicine, who’s idea was it to give present mic a loud mic and youtube channel why he’s already too loud please make it stop), someone gives Bakugo spicy chocolate cookies for valentines day and he doesn't want the sentiment but hot damn those cookies are fucking delicious, the kids get into American music because present mic recommends it to help with learning English and that's all fine and dandy until the kids start hosting death matches with Denzel curry’s Ultimate as the match song and wow how many of these songs have so much profanity please stop (just because you’re swearing in English kids doesn't mean some people still won’t know you’re swearing), Sex Ed Class for the kids (wow what trauma, what drama, Aizawa you are not giving the sex ed seminar they will get too scared. you will monitor Midnight as she gives the lesson. All might go have a cup of tea and try not to think of the kids having sex because golly they’re all still wee babes), Teachers shipping students and other staff lounge gossip, Spin the bottle truth or dare where the dare is always make out with the people you want to fight, Momo is cleaning out her closet and giving away clothes so please let the mad fight over who can get more clothes from her giveaway ensue(Uraraka is poor and on a mission, who know when she’ll be able to get clothes as nice as these again? she might enlist the help of some of her guy friends and she might also float all the clothes she wants to the ceiling out of reach of anyone else), BNHA girls using snapchat and momo’s closet to recreate Beyonce music videos and killing it (I really just want to see 7/11, the suck on my balls shtick, and Sorry because it’s a whole lotta friends hangin out and being sassy), WHO LET THESE KIDS WATCH South Park.  y’know. Shit like that. Wow this bullet point got way out of hand.

>Night Vale AU 1- Fuck you it’s Tododeku. Todoroki is obviously Carlos with his perfect hair and perfect teeth. Uraraka is totally dana, Deku is of course Cecil, Aizawa might be station management? Might be old man Jenkins. Whatever it is I'm here for it. 

>Night Vale AU 2-Alternatively its the cast of bnha just in the wtnv universe and their day to day lives dealing with night vales weirdness. do as you please.

>Underground Fighting/Fight Club AU- What It Says On The Tin. BNHA kids doing illegal underground fighting stuff and do with it what you will. 

>Oresama Teacher AU- I know I keep being super aggresive but still fuck you I think mafuyu and Uraraka would be able to flip flop each other or alternatively, mafuyu is urarakas grandmother and she taught Uraraka all the ways of badassery minus the fighting stuff bc she old

>Fantasy AU where for once Uraraka actually is the badass witch and not just the confused amnesiac- also What It Says On the Tin. Bitch can kick some ass.

>Adventure Time AU- For shits and giggles bc I said so I suppose. I think the bnha characters in that universe would be funny af with just the right dash of angst/drama.

>Assassination classroom au- what it says on the tin. 

>The Myth Of Hades and Persephone AU- featuring your chosen bnha ship. Imma leave mine out of it because the one I would prefer to put in would probably yield a lot of hate and I don't want my preferred ship to get in the way of anyone ignoring these prompts and not writing them? idk imma leave mine out but y'all get it.

More to be added at a later date bye lmao

[destressjournal]

DCOM Rankings #83: Lemonade Mouth

I would say there’s maybe one more DCOM after this that I’ve seen before but other than that, this is one of the last ones.

Last time I watched it I wasn’t REALLY watching it, I was silently protesting because as I said in my last review I was almost 16 and was kinda done with Disney Channel, they were ending all of my favorite shows and moving onto a new generation of viewers so I was like pshhhhh whatever.

So what do I think about the movie now that I’ve viewed it in it’s complete entirety....?

I’m gonna start out by saying this. Many people LOVE the 90’s Disney animated movies because they are so iconic. And when I watched them again for my Disney movie ranking last year, I realized that there were a lot of logic issues that just wouldn’t make sense, yet I still ranked them like near perfect. That’s what this movie is.

While obviously it’s not as iconic (or as good to be honest) as the 90’s animated films it premiered JUST far enough back that there was some nostalgia in there. And despite the flaws it has, I don’t really care as much, because this movie got me emotional. And when a movie gets me emotional, especially a Disney channel movie, it’s automatically one of the greats. I FELT for the characters and cared about all of them, and that’s all I could ever want in a movie, just GET ME TO CARE about your characters. I wanna root for them, cry with them, feel empowered by them, and in this case, sing with them!

That being said!! This movie still has flaws and I’ll get them out of the way now so I can get to the good stuff.

- this movie overall is very fast paced. They played at ONE high school halloween bash and suddenly everyone wants their CD. Even further back, the night they met they all played music together without really getting to know each other...idk, I’m one of those people that likes things to progress more naturally. But I guess one way to explain it would be that all 5 had the same passion for music and they all happen to be in the same room for the first time. But still, from the time they met to the time they played their first gig it was like 3 scenes. I know it’s most likely because of the movie time constraints which is why I want this movie to be 2 full hours and not just 90 minutes. I want some deleted scenes people!!

-I don’t really like the ship between Wen and Olivia. I never could see them being together, cuz Wen is kind of awkward and says the wrong thing all the time. What he does for Olivia is sweet, but I just don’t see the connection. There wasn’t much chemistry. Wen is probably my least favorite character out of the 5 band members.

-so I also think people like lemonade mouth because it touches on some hard topics. I’m sure they pushed the boundaries as much as they could, but I wished they were pushed further. For example, I just watched a video comparing the lemonade mouth book to the movie, and *spoilers ahead* wow was the book a LOT more mature. And realistic. But thinking about what Disney could have done was have Stella have a learning disability and have her IQ test score be mentioned. Like I really feel like Disney could have done something like that for the movie, they had a dyslexic character. Plus, they show a physical disability in the movie with a background character, I think showing a learning disability is not that far out of reach, and would explain a lot of her rebellious behavior. Disney y u no do that?? You’ve done it before! Sesame Street has done it before!

Also I wish Charlie’s brother actually died instead of “being away at college” it would have made his scenes hit that much harder. But not died like at the time he was born, but died after he won all those soccer trophies and went to Stanford. Or at the VERY least, maybe have the older brother get into an accident and he can’t play soccer anymore. Disney I feel like could have easily done that. Idk, Disney channel was a lot more hardcore in the 90’s and early 00’s. The late 00’s and early 10’s were like that Christian version of Netflix. I have no idea what the more recent DCOMS are like, I hope they get better....okay rant over! The other mature stuff in the book is very understandable that it’s not in the movie, and if you’re a fan of caitlovesdisney on YouTube, like I am, go watch her video explaining the differences between the book and the movie. It’s wild!

-so this goes along with the movie being so short, but the characters really needed to be fleshed out more. I think Olivia was probably the most fleshed out. But Charlie I feel like barely had anything. Especially because his development was overshadowed by his crush on Mo. The crush is fine and adds to his character in a different way but it hides his personal development.

-I like to think of this movie as the Disney channel version of the breakfast club. I mean it’s the same beginning. 5 high school strangers have detention together and they end up having a very strong connection. The breakfast club is just way better and if I wanted to watch characters talk about their lives and build on each other, I would rather watch that instead of lemonade mouth. The DCOM tried so hard to make that “breakfast club” scene where they lie down on the grass be a gut punch, but it was wayyyy too fast. I didn’t have time to feel sad cuz the next song was starting to play. (Kinda wish they did flashbacks of their past or their insecurities during the song). Again, cuz the movie was too short.

- the movie does seem to be preachy at times with it’s “be heard, be strong, be proud” or whatever it is. But I get it, and it’s a good message, I guess I just didn’t like the conflict that came with that.

-oh and Scott being redeemed?? I don’t really care haha. The popular girl just felt his biceps, idk I don’t consider that cheating but I guess it’s all in the subtext. I know people have a lot of beef about it but I don’t really care, in fact I forgot to write about this and this was the last paragraph I wrote before this review was posted.

So most of the flaws stem from the movie not being long enough. This really needed a full 2 hours to completely flesh out everything and slow down the pace.

Good things time!!

-the obvious one. The music. SO. GOOD. I think my favorite is She’s so gone because of the emotion behind it that i connect to the most. But honestly all of the songs were good. Even the rival band songs (not as good but still good enough)

-I love the main cast of characters and how each has to overcome their own challenges in life. Like I said, breakfast club. It also reminds me of the cheetah girls and gotta kick it up because it tried to do the same thing, but it was a lot more spelled out in this movie. Yes I said Wen was my least favorite of the band members but I said “least favorite” and not “most hated”. I still like him and his struggles are real but I just don’t like him as much as the rest of them. But yeah, the band means something different for each member and it’s really cool to see.

-as I said in the first few paragraphs of this review, this movie displays emotions that are very real and portray insecurities that lots of kids/teens can relate to, heck even adults! It’s not just a cute story about a band coming together, it’s about how 5 people learn to just let go of whatever is holding them back, and combat their insecurities head on. We all have insecurities, and I think it’s so powerful to watch a character going through a similar thing and be like “no I’m done with this” and does something about it. Or finally tells that person off, or finally opens up about what they’re dealing with. It’s that kind of raw emotion that I like to see in movies because it’s real.

Now it’s grading time...So I feel like I shouldn’t give this movie any lower than an A+, and the movie being too short was probably it’s biggest flaw. I feel weird giving it an A+ though...I don’t know why, I think it’s because I have like 15 movies that I considered to be A+. And this is why I want to re-do my ranking system. Because A+ should be considered like THE best movies. But it’s also hard when you have 100+ movies in this list altogether. But for now, I’ll leave it at A+ until I figure this out.

Next movie, I guess a spin-off movie?? Never seen it and it sounds like some cutsie direct-to-video spin off that’s just there to make people money. But we’ll see!! See you soon!