#(simply because well. can you guess what i'm still only drawing nowadays)

[harry-sussex]

You're lovely, and I enjoy seeing your blog on my dashboard. I'm sorry this has been such a difficult thing to process. It's always really difficult to rework an image of someone you once thought you knew. However I'd like to just put it out there - sometimes (I think the large majority of the time) news is presented in the most sensationalist way, such that nowadays I make a point of de-sensationalizing any news I read in my head. In the case of the whole Harry's memoir thing- I can sympathize with Harry as a person possibly just wanting to take back some control of the narrative for himself. Not just in the most recent events with family (that I tend to think are less horrifying than the fandom/Twitter sussex squad discusses it anyway), but in all aspects of his life. I do not at all think he's going to put his family on blast. I can easily imagine Meghan reigning that dialogue in; she has the tendency to think before she speaks that he seems to lack. And he loves his family. Similar to The Interview promos, I imagine the publishing house knew to increase the interest by implying it to be a tell all memoir. I think he's just done a lot of growing up that he didn't know he had to do over a short period of time, esp re: implicit bias/racism in the setting of media's blatant attack on someone he loves, and is disappointed by the institution's and his family's response to it. I think he's emerged a more introspective and aware human, albeit a disillusioned one. Yes it breaks my heart to think that Meghan won't get a break from the tabloids any time soon. If I were him I'd counsel him to write it & sit on it for a few yrs. But I don't want to give the media the power to destroy Meghan in my mind, and I pray she & Harry won't either. I think she'll be okay. She's a strong one, and I think he's able to draw that same link for himself and be thoughtful about what he does. No one likes being misunderstood/misinterpreted, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry's especially triggered by that given his history with the press. Maybe this idea emerged from therapy, idk. I can empathize with that, even if I wouldn't do it myself. I hope and pray Meghan gets the support she needs from him and her loved ones in the meantime. I'm honestly not going to read it. I think the less attention I give the BRF the better off they are, unless they're doing something immoral/illegal (see: Woking pizza alibi). And I think at the end of the day, people will unfairly judge other people, especially public figures that have tragic pasts and are publically fighting with the media. A lot of it is going to be noise and I'm not going to give my energy into figuring it out. I like to think I've got a good sense of who they are as people - flawed but ultimately well meaning and earnest. I'm a huge admirer of Meghan and think Harry got really lucky with this one and I'm proud of him for choosing her in more ways than one. I believe Harry and Meghan are lovely people, and I 100% believe their interview. I believe that there are people in the palace with a lot of unchecked power who deliberately uncovered her and Archie from BRF protection for reasons of believed superiority over Meg & Arch. And they're figuring out how to deal with that as a couple and a family. And it's none of my business past that imo. I pray for them and hope it'll eventually end in peace for them all. Just wanted to add another perspective, and hopefully some levity. xx M

Hi, dear. First thing’s first, I really appreciate that this is off anon lol. I love it when people own their opinions, and it says a lot that you did. So thank you for that.

Second of all, I really appreciate the nuance and perspective that is in this message. I agree that the news is sensationalist, and my initial reaction was based off of that. I did watch the promotional clips of the interview and I believe it did sour my expectations going into it when I watched it nearly a week after it aired. I did my best to stay away from Tumblr because I didn’t want that to hinder my view, but it was impossible to separate the promotions that presented the information one way from what it actually was, and thank you for bringing that up with respect to the memoir because I hadn’t considered it. I will say that my knee jerk reaction is pretty on par with the way I still feel about it 24 hours later, especially since I got the news directly, not from Tumblr or Twitter or anywhere else, but you’re right that it could have soured my view from the very start.

I appreciate that he wants to take back some of the narrative but I think that ship has sailed, tbh. He did that with the interview and now I just think it feels like information overload. At some point, people are going to get tired of hearing the wealthy, privileged, powerful Prince complain about his life while more than 4 million people have died due to a global pandemic in less than 2 years. Not to say that he doesn’t struggle - in the words of Roxane Gay, there is no oppression Olympics (and that can be extended to struggle Olympics) - but people view it that way and will get tired of it, if they haven’t already.

I also agree that Harry’s past with the press has tarnished the way he has handled the media and the public post-exit, when he’s finally in a position to strike back without being somewhat obliged to them as part of the circumstances of his birth. I understand and sympathize with him but I just don’t think the public does, and the public matters much, much more than the perspective of one single American fan, to whom he’s never been obliged, and I simply do not think the public will afford him that same understanding, sympathy, and leniency. The public and the media are critical to his humanitarian work - his mother never realized that towards the end of her life, and I truly don’t think she would have been the martyr/saint she is perceived to be now if she had lived, because she did not know how to meet the media in the middle and eventually that started to piss people off. He’s starting to piss people off now and if it doesn’t bother him personally (which it definitely does), I don’t want it to affect his causes. The Invictus Games, Sentebale, Walking with the Wounded, WellChild, Mayhew, Smartworks, Archewell, etc. deserve better than to suffer the wrath of the media and an apathetic public because their patrons simply will not shut up lol.

I guess my point is that they will be unfairly judged (regardless, but especially due to the way they’re handling things), and I think it would suit them better in the long run if they adopted a different strategy. I really sympathize with the fact that he feels frustrated with the narrative that has been manufactured but I really, really think the narrative will only get worse and worse as he continues to go on and on about how badly his life sucks, basically. Again, I don’t deny that he struggles - we all do, some more than others, especially when there are mental health issues - but the public, to me, simply does not care. My own therapist has told me to simply stop caring about the things that I discuss with him. Not to say that they’re not relevant, important, or worthy of discussion - they absolutely are - but his point is that you cannot change people and you are wasting your energy and struggling yourself because you want to change them so, so, so badly that you’re neglecting your own self care in the process. I hate that I do it to myself and I also hate that he appears to be doing it to himself. I’m sure a lot of this conversation has been brought up in his own therapy, and I’m no professional, but I’m doing my best to heed the advice of my own therapist - which is the opposite of what Harry is doing - and it’s done wonders for me, when I actually can do it.

If there’s anything I know from this whole thing, it’s that Harry is absolutely punching above his weight, love him as I may, and that he adores, adores, adores his wife. He has chosen her from the very second she came into his life and I couldn’t want anything more for him or from her. I’m not going to lie, I would have been in this thing for any wife that Harry chose, because I was here long before Meghan specifically came into his life. However, I am glad every day that he chose her, that he loves her, that he wants to protect her, that she loves him back, that he lives the life with her that he’s wanted as long as I (and I’m sure he) can remember. I love her because he loves her, and I would have no matter what, because at the end of the day, it’s his happiness and comfort that matters to me, that has mattered to me since I discovered him and how wonderful he can be more than 7 years ago. What more could I ask of Meghan? What more, as his fan to the end (annoy me as he may), could I want for him? Who could say anything about her in that regard? If there’s anything that has come of this mess, to me, it’s that Harry loves, loves, loves his wife. I will always be happy for him and I will always be proud of him for choosing her, even if I don’t always agree with the way he goes about it.

I’m looking forward to peace, too. I cannot wait for things to just die out, for them to work things out as a couple and as a family, and for everyone to move on. The family will still do their thing and the Sussexes can do theirs, but I cannot deal with this back and forth, tit for tat, petty nonsense anymore. They’re wonderful and flawed, like the rest of them (except Andrew), and I just hope that they can all come to some kind of agreement or terms that lets this die down. It’s exhausting for everyone - themselves included. If I’m this tired, I can only imagine how tired they all are.

Thanks for stopping by, and sorry for the essay (essays, these past 24 hours lol). I really appreciate your kindness in this message, your presence in my notifications (I do see them!), your nuanced perspective and like I said before, I really, really appreciate that you own it!

[wreckofawriter]

Not Yet

Pairing: Harry Potter x reader

Word Count: 3,270

Warnings: None

Request: Could u do something Harry Potter x reader were the marauders are alive and the reader is Harry’s gf and is as good as Dumbledore in dueling. And she was staying at Harry’s house for spring break and (Harry is still the boi who lived) Voldemort attacks them and says something like “if she wins she safe but for now I am going to take the most important thing in ur life” to Harry and he starts crying but then she out duels him and comforts Harry and Jily notices how much they love each other?

A/n: Ok so I know that the time line wouldnt exscatly be perfect for this fic but whatever I dont care. Also I'm sorry it tooks so long I had restart it because I didn't like my first draft. Anyway hope you guys enjoy!

"Harry, they're going to hate me." You groaned falling back from your sitting position on his bed to laying and burying your head in your hands.

Harry rolled his eyes smiling. "Y/n there is no possible way they are going to hate you, so stop stressing." 

You turned your head to glare at the boy who was struggling to close his suitcase, "Oh yeah because when you met my dad you weren't stressing at all." You said voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's different," Harry defended still attempting to get the buckles on his trunk closed. 

"How is it possibly different, if anything I have it worse because you have like three dads." You pointed out.

"I don't have three dads." Harry grunted, cursing those textbooks that were making the task at hand nearly impossible.

You muttered a spell under your breath and watched as the items in his trunk shifted before the straps snapped closed neatly "You most certainly do have three dads." You iggled when he looked back up at you in amazement. 

"I forgot you could so stuff like that." He murmured making his way towards the bed. 

"Well you should try remembering." You smirked before Harry climbed on top of you meeting your lips with his. The kiss was soft sweet and short. 

"Bloody hell!" 

Harry quickly rolled off of you. 

You both blushed heavenly looking at Ron who now stood in the doorway with Hermione. 

"Sorry." You muttered looking down at you hands. 

"Thank god you were only kissing I thought you were doing other stuff for a second." A book promptly shot across  the room and hit Ron in the side of the face. He glared looking up at the beat red girl across from him "Can you stop with the no-wand spells? It's very confusing for us." 

"Speak for yourself Ronald." Hermione chipped, "They are quite brilliant in my opinion." 

"Thanks Hermione." You smiled the color trickling from your cheeks. You had always had a particular talent for performing spells without a wand. You barely touched it nowadays, you would simply do the spell without it. 

It was a "rare but exceptional gift that very few acquired" McGonagall had informed you in your first year when you had performed  a Relashio spell without a wand on your second day of charms. 

You had noticed at a very young age that you could simply read about a spell, murmur the name under your breath, envisioning the result and said result would happen. It was quite helpful for dueling and protection 

"We are leaving in a few minutes so we just came up to get you guys." Hermione explained looking at Harry's packed trunk, Hedwig placed beside it. 

"Y/n where is your stuff?" 

"Oh shit." You muttered.

"You aren't packed?" Harry asked worry covering his features. 

"I was stressing so much I forgot." You hissed under your breath closing your eyes and thinking. Finally after a few seconds you remembered the spell and murmured it quietly. 

You heard a shriek followed by "Merlin's Beard y/n can't you just pack like the rest of us, you almost killed me with your bloody broom!"

"Sorry Parvati!" You shouted back before your wand came whizzing into your hand followed by your trunk and your owl cage, your barn owl locked securely inside, and of course your broomstick which had been an unnecessarily expensive and fought against birthday present from Harry. "Packed." You smiled up at the other three.

When the four of you had finally boarded and settled on the Hogwarts Express nerves took you over once again. You found yourself tracing the scar on your hand feeling out every letter of the sentence, "I will not tell lies" engraved on your hand. You remembered Harry's fury when you had walked out of Umbridge's classroom tears pricking at your eyes as blood dripped from your hand. Fred, George and Ron had to physically hold the boy back from beating the pick monsters face in with his fists. 

Harry quickly noticed your nervous state and slide his arm around you pulling you closer. "They are going to love you y/n/n." 

You sighed and looked over at his breath-taking green eyes, "You don't know that." 

"Come on you already met Remus and he loved you." Harry said trying to comfort you. 

"Great only two more dads and a mom to impress." You said staring out the window.

"Hey look," Harry pushed your head back to meet his eyes gently, "Remus already likes you and my Dad will be easy, just tell him your a chaser and he will talk for hours. For my mom just talk about spells and all that stuff you are so bloody good at. And for Sirius just mention a few of the pranks you pulled on Malfoy and your in the clear. You are too amazing for them not to like." 

"But what if they dont think I'm good enough for you, I mean you are 'the one who lived' and everything and I'm just...me." 

Harry scoffed, "Just you? You mean the girl who has the best marks in every single class she takes. The girl who could take down there own professors when it came to dueling and knows how to perform more spells and charms without a wand than the Charms teacher does with one?" 

You blushed looking down, "I don't have the best marks in Herbology, Transfiguration or Potions." You pointed out. 

Harry sighed, "They are going to love you y/n. I just know it." 

When the train stopped at platform 9 and ¾ so did your heart. You were jumpy and anxious, you felt as if you were running on adrenaline and caffeine. 

Hermione and Ron said goodbye wishing you luck as Harry looked around for his parents on the crowded platform.  

"There they are." Harry said grabbing your hand and heading toward a man who looks stunningly like Harry and a woman with bright red hair. 

You gulped hoping you didn't look as nervous as you were. 

When you reached the couple Harry hugged both of them as you stood awkwardly to the side trying not to draw attention to yourself. 

"Mom, Dad this is the girl I told you about, y/n." Harry introduced.

You blushed a bit waving and to your surprise the women stepped toward you and brought you into a hug. 

"It's so lovely to finally meet you, we've heard so much about you from Harry." She said pulling away to look you in the eyes. 

"It's nice to meet you as well Mrs. Potter." You smiled. 

James  stuck out his hand and you shook it firmly greeting him as well. 

"Well we better head home before Sirius burns down the house." Lily sighed. 

"Its fine." James said brushing the issue away, "Moony is there too." 

You looked at Harry "Who's Moony?" You mouthed silently.

"Professor Lupin." He whispered back. 

You bit your lip hoping that he still considered you a good student. 

When you reached Harry's house your nerves were buzzing again, you could hear the thumping of your heart loud and clear as Harry opened the front door. 

You heard a loud "Harry!" Bellowed form inside the house and Harry was soon thrown into a hug by a man with long dark hair. 

"It's great to see you again." The man who you were guessing was Sirius smiled. 

"You too Sirius." You suspicions were confirmed. "Oh this is y/n." Harry said moving to the side so you were face to face with the man. 

"Hello, it's nice to finally meet you, Harry has told me so much about you." You greeted sticking out your hand. 

"I could say the same for you." Sirius winked taking your hand. You glanced over at Harry whose face was tinged red and glaring at the man.

You giggled as Harry pulled you away, "You can put your stuff in my room." He chatted as he dragged you up the stairs to the first door on the right. 

When you entered you couldn't help but smile. The room was so… Harry. 

The walls were painted a vibrant crimson, he had quidditch banners and famous wizard posters plastered on the walls. There was a wooden desk in one cornor, a dresser and a double bed against the other wall. A door which you guessed lead to a closet on the other. There were two hooks in the center of the wall above the dresser. Different posters and papers were sprinkled around the hooks  where Harry had now walked over and placed his broom. 

You walked closer to the wall to find that all of the papers and posters were tickets and brackets from various quidditch matches.

"My dad always takes me to them." Harry chimed in walking closer to you. 

"That's brilliant," you nodded continuing to look at the items sprinkled on the wall. 

"How many have you been to?" Harry questioned snaking his arm around your waist as you stood admiring. 

"Oh, I haven't been to any." You shrugged turning to face the now appalled boy.

"What!?"

You shrugged again 

"Really?!" 

You nodded rolling your eyes playfully; "My dad just never took me."

"You have to come with us next time." Harry declared. 

"I'd love too." You smirked leaning in to kiss the boy. Your lips had barley brushed his when you were interrupted by the bang of a door. 

"Harry dinners ready…" Sirius' voice trailed off when he saw the position of your red faces. He smirked, Harry once again glaring at him.

"We're coming." Harry growled cheeks matching his walls. 

"You are now?" Sirius jeered before descending down the stairs. 

The second he was out of sight you burst into a fit of giggles. 

"What's so funny?" Harry asked.

"I don't know," you laughed out. 

With that you made your way to the stairs. 

When you sat down at the dinner table you looked up to see your ex-professors eyes sparkling at you. 

You smiled at the man and then turned your head to see Harry serving you some food. You thanked him then thanked the chef who sat proudly next to the professor his head of long midnight hair held high. 

You quickly launched into a conversation with Mrs. Potter about your plans to be an Auror after Hogwarts while Harry laughed with his godfather. 

Your conversation was cut short by Mr. Potter. 

"So I saw you had a broom, you play I'm guessing." He inquired.

"Yes I do sir." You spoke politely before placing a tomato into your mouth and feeling its soft skin burst with flavor against your teeth. 

"No need for the 'sir'" the man explained before adding, "What position?"

"I'm a chaser si-" you cut your sentence

 short blushing.

 James eyes widened under his glasses, "Really?" 

"Yes, I have been playing since second year." You nodded.

"Wow, that's pretty young for a chaser." 

"She's incredible, probably better than you Dad," Harry cut in, "She once scored 180 points in one game. That's only 30 points below the record." Harry gushed making you flame red, "And she's only in her fifth year." Harry added proudly smiling. 

You felt on fire when all of the adults at the table looked at you in amazement and surprise. "It's really no big deal, I don't win the games your son does." You mumbled looking down at your food. 

Harry rolled his eyes at your modesty even though it only made him grin impossibly l that's quite impressive." Sirius noted, "I didn't take you for a jock." 

You bit your lip before hearing another voice cut through.

"She's not just a jock Sirius." Remus rolled his eyes. "When I had her in my class she had the highest marks of all the students, she's quite talented, especially when it comes to spells and charms, she would make a brilliant Auror." 

You felt your face once again fill with fire as you looked across at the man who had spoken, "Thank you Professor Lupin." 

"Just Remus." He said before taking a sip of his wine. 

You nodded and looked at Harry who was smiling brightly at you his eyes sparkling like rare gems. 

Lily opened her mouth to continue the conversation when suddenly Harry's smile turned to a grimace of agony. He bent over with a gasp, clutching his forehead. 

Everyone instantly began to move, you moved toward Harry wrapping your arms around him, James and Lily reached for their wands as Sirius and Remus leapt from their chairs flicking their own to lock the doors and windows around them. 

You and everyone else in that room knew what that anguish Harry was feeling meant. 

Harry hissed air through his teeth in pain, "Y/n, you need to get out of here, he's coming, Voldemort's coming." He spit out. 

You turned to Lily for an answer but it was too late.

The women flew across the room in a gust of wind 

"Lily!" James yelled from across the room before he was thrown backwards into the china case with a crash. You turned to see five figures in black standing in the living room. Sirius leapt into action deflecting two spells before being hit with another. 

Remus yelled in anger hitting one of the figures with a spell before being hit with two of his own. 

During this you gathered your scattered thoughts and muttered a small protection spell  under your breath. 

Your heard Harry shriek with misery as another figure appeared in the room. You recognized the man -if you could even call him that- instantly. He started toward you and Harry who had somehow ended up on the floor your arm still sealed over his shoulders. 

"Move girl." The thing headed toward you stated. 

You rose to your feet to meet him as he neared. "No." 

A cackle rose from the throat of the monster. "Look around you," he said gesturing to the four wizards all now caught by a figure in black, wands held by tattooed wrists at their necks. 

"Move and you may live." The thing promised. 

"No." You repeated grasping your hands to fists as you stood in front of the boy shaking in torment.

"Imperi-" 

You didn't let the dark lord finish his spell before you whispered one of your own. 

The most forgiving of the unforgivable curses bounced off your shield and hit the window with a crash. You then whispered a small healing spell to Harry and heard him gasp for breath finally being released from pain's cold grasp. 

The white faced man now glared at you shooting another curse you deflected with ease. His frustration was now visible as he shot a series of painful spell at you. You muttered deflections and counter curses smoothly. 

You almost smiled at the man's great surprise and rage at the new obstacle that stood in the way of Harry's death. Your joy was swept away quickly.

"Y/n move!" You heard Harry yelled before you were hit with a blinding sting in your chest. You fell back in pain gasping for breath. You turned your head to see Remus laying on the ground in a heap, his guard standing over you in triumph. 

Suddenly you began to float up in the air. You tried and failed to regain your bearings as you were suddenly flying toward he who must not be named.  You felt cold as his fingernails closed aground your neck. 

You could smell rotting flesh and the metallic scent of blood. You could sense the hunger of the thing holding you, you could sense its hunger for death, for blood, for pain, he fed from it. 

Voldemort cackled watching as Harry screamed, writhing in the grasp of the death eater holding him.

You began to feel adrenaline rush through you with new found terror. You couldn't die. No no no. Not yet.  Please dear God not yet. You began to feel tears prick at your eyes. Please. Please not yet. Not yet.

"I can't kill you Harry." The monster paused "Not yet. But I can kill her. I can kill her easily as a bug, she's nothing." He howled in laughter. "The most important thing to you in this miserable world is nothing, its pathetic." 

Harry sobbed attempting to throw himself forward as Voldemort's wand raised to your throat.

"Please not her, please, take me instead, not her dont kill her, let her live please." Harry begged, sobs making his words almost incomprehensible.

You watched in horror as Harry broke in front of you. You could hear his parents screaming in the background and Sirius crying for Remus to wake up. 

Your body shook with anger and fear at the scene taking place in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused that energy. You focused just as your dad had thought you. You focused all that pain, fury, fear onto one thing, one spell, one person.

"Crusio." You murmured softly. 

Suddenly you were released and sent sprawling towards the ground. You heard a blood curdling shriek of agony behind you and stood to see the dark lord writhing on the floor. As he did your head felt with a splitting pain and you screeched grasping at your temples in an attempt to stop the pain. 

It ended as abruptly as it started and you stood over the man so many feared and you saw him look back up at you to see the one thing you were sure this man had never felt before in his eyes. Fear. 

He was gone in a whisper of black smoke, his followers disappearing just as quickly.

You turned sliding to the floor next to the boy you loved, tears of relief springing from your eyes. 

"She's gone, she's gone, she's gone." You heard him sobbing slumped on the ground defeated. 

"Harry, Harry it's me." You said voice breaking. He looked up his glasses were long gone his emerald eyes shining with tears. 

"Y/n?" He mumbled.

"Hey, yeah it's me." You cried. 

"But y-you, you, you were g-gone." 

"Not yet. Not yet." You sobbed tears of joy as you were tackled in a hug by the boy. 

You sobbed on to his shoulder as he pulled you into him grasping you desperately, wetting your y/h/c hair with tears. 

He pulled away from the hug grabbing your damp cheeks and smashing his lips onto yours. 

The kiss was desperate and needy, Harry moved his lips roughly against yours, you could taste the salt on him left from his tears, the same salty droplets still leaking from your eyes. 

When you broke away he pulled you into his chest again. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you y/n, I love you so much." The words fell from his mouth in a slur.

"I love you too Harry. I love you too" You cried into his chest.

Lily and James watched as the two of you reunited and looked at each other with the same eyes. They knew what the two of you had, they had seen very few like it, very few indeed. It was love. Not fake teenage dream "love". Not abusive of forced "love". Not one sided or used "love" but true and actual love. The same love they felt for each other. They watched as the young couple picked each other up and put each other back together and they knew that those two teenagers were in it for the long run. 

Masterlist

[compassionatereminders]

Do you have any advice on how to distract yourself? I am under so much stress because we are having earthquakes, corona outbrakes, my joints are screaming because of the weather change and i can't draw or play music like i usually do so i need some new distractions. I'm sorry if this is a little negative but idk who else to ask :(. I hope you are doing well, have a nice and calm day

While none of these suggestions are “new”, I’ll try to come up with some ideas for various distractions you can try if you haven’t already. 

Find comfort in the old. In these scary times, don’t be afraid to seek out comfort and distraction in your old faves. Reread that book you loved so much when you were a kid. Play that computer game you played non-stop years ago and then forgot about. Rewatch your favorite childhood show from start to finish. Listen to the band you adored when you were 13. Don’t worry about whether the media in question is considered “cringy” or “cool” nowadays, just find comfort in and rediscover the joys of your childhood and teenage years wherever you can.

Delve into something entirely new. Try watching the first episode of that TV show you’ve been planning to watch but never got around to. Read that book your friend recommended. Listen to some new music. Buy that video game you’ve always wanted to try (if you have the money!) Explore new options for entertainment and distraction with an open mind cause who knows, maybe that show which has been on your to-watch list for three years will turn out to be one of the best ones you’ve ever watched?

Find an outlet for your thoughts and feelings. Whether it’s a private word document, a simple notebook, a fancy scrapbook, your tumblr or your best friends inbox doesn’t matter - but make sure you have a place where you can talk openly and honestly about what you’re thinking or feeling. Whatever you do, don’t bottle everything up! Plus, future historians are going to love finding your quarantine diary.

Do something - anything! While it is fine to spend time doing “nothing” and while it makes sense if you’re struggling to be super productive right now, make sure to occasionally do something active which actually has a tangible result. It doesn’t have to be something big and significant, it just has to be. Bake some cookies. Doodle something cute and put it on the refrigerator. Write a blog post. Clean your desk. Make sure that when the next wave of existential dread inevitably hits you, you can tell yourself “actually I DID do something today and that matters!”

Don’t be afraid to get deeply invested in whatever entertains you. If you really like that podcast, listen to it for hours while doing all your boring but necessary chores. If listening to that band brings you joy, put��‘em on repeat. If that show is really good, binge-watch the shit out of it. Play that video game for hours if you want to. Read that 300.000 word fanfiction in just a couple days. Find joy wherever you can and don’t be afraid to hold on tightly when something actually manages to catch your full attention. 

Try to stay active in whatever ways you can. If you’re abled enough to do so, try to make sure that you move your body in some capacity. Go for a walk or a run if you can, or, if you’re in quarantine, find some indoors exercises you can do. Lots of different beginner level exercise instructions are freely available online, so if you don’t already know what to do, there’s a lot of step by step videos out there which can help you get started. Everything counts, though - including dancing to your favorite music for just a couple minutes or simply getting up to stretch - so don’t feel like you have to force yourself to do more than you can actually manage.

Try not to neglect basic self-care. I know it’s hard to find the energy to take proper care of yourself even when the world ISN’T falling apart, but if you can do just one thing, let that be taking care of your body (and mind!) to the best of your ability. Try to eat regularly, take that shower even though it seems pointless, do your best to make sure you get enough sleep, try to keep your environment somewhat clean and organized… I’m sure you know the drill already. But whatever else you do or don’t do, not taking care of your basic needs will only make everything worse.

Do That Thing! You know that thing you’ve always said you’d love to do at some point but yet you haven’t really found the time or the energy required to actually get started? Well guess what, if you have the energy, now might be a good time to start getting into it. There’s a lot of free online resources out there which can help you get started on almost anything you might be interested in learning. So if you’ve always been thinking that it might be fun to learn Spanish or sign language someday, or if you’ve always wanted to learn how to code, draw anatomically correct people, embroider your own patches, do yoga or bake fancy cakes, try it out. Who knows, you might discover a brand new passion of yours!

Stay in touch with your favorite people. Even if you cannot hang out in person, make sure to stay in touch with your loved ones in whatever ways you safely can. Make sure that you talk to someone, even if it’s via phone calls, skype, facetime, snapchat, discord or whatever else you might personally prefer to use. No, it’s not the same as actually sitting in front of each other in person, but it’s still a whole lot better than not talking to anyone at all. If you’re self-isolating with other people and they aren’t toxic/abusive, make sure you actually talk to them and that you do some fun activities together every once in a while. It’ll all help distract you.

I hope this list manages to inspire you a little! Lots of love!

[mysnarkyslytherinsecret]

HC that after hearing the prophecy, Snape goes to Lily himself and tries to persuade her to flee with James and baby Harry, but she won't listen because she doesn't trust him. "Lily, please!" pleaded Snape, his voice laced with desperation. "What, you think I'm just going to abandon everything on your whim?" Lily spat back. "It's common knowledge that you're in with You-Know-Who! You're probably just trying to draw me out so he can kill me!" A frosty pause. "James was right about you."

When Severus Snape heard the prophecy, he rightly assumed that the Dark Lord would find the information very useful. It had been his last chance. The Dark Lord already had all of Severus’ potion recipes. There wasn’t anything more that Severus could teach or show or bargain with other than the flying spell- the one that he and Lily had made together, the one that he had promised himself he would never teach to anyone.

The prophecy was vague.  His heart rejoiced at this.  It would be nearly impossible to sort through the number of people that the Dark Lord believed had defied him- after all, he believed that about everyone except for himself. The madman had grown ever more paranoid as time went on- there had been some whispers in the higher ranks that he’d even killed some of his most loyal operatives after accusing them of sabotage.  Severus had been looking for a way out for a long time, and this, he was certain, would be his ticket to do so.

But things, as it turned out, were not that easy.

They never were.

He sat at his desk the night after the September 15th Death Eater meeting, his quill quivering in his hand.  Steeling his jaw, he placed pen to parchment and began to write.

Dear Lily,

I know we haven’t spoken very much, or really at all, as I have done my best to abide by your wishes, but I must beg you to please reconsider staying in Wizarding Britain. Please take your husband and son out of the country until the war is over.  You were the only person who ever called me a friend, and for that, I cannot sit idly by while your family is in danger.

Please, talk to Albus.

Yours,

Severus

He handed the letter to Albus, his hand quivering with fear.  The headmasters eyebrows furrowed for a moment and he cast a spell on the envelope to check it for dark magic.

“You still don’t trust me,” Severus grumbled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his traveling cloak.

“Severus, I am merely following your wishes and keeping them safe,” Dumbledore sighed in reply. “I shall deliver the letter.”

Severus finished giving his report and Apparated back to Spinner’s End, his mind consumed with depressing thoughts and a sense of self loathing. 

He stared at the knives hanging over the kitchen stove for a long moment before turning away.

No. Not tonight.

He still had work to do.

Severus was not expecting the letter that Albus Dumbledore handed to him the next time they met. Even without bringing the envelope up to his nose, he could smell Lily’s distinct rose-and-lemongrass scent, which was unchanged even after so many years. It made him feel pathetic with longing, and he forced himself to shove down the anguish until his eyes were hard and black and empty.

“She is doing well,” Albus said simply, without being asked. “The baby keeps her rather sleep deprived, but she’s healthy and happy.”

“Thank you, sir,” Severus said, his voice bereft of emotion.

“Off with you, then,” Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Severus went.

Severus,

I’m not sure why you seem to think that you can change my mind, but it is at least very kind of you to show your concern. This is my home. I belong here, and so does my family. I won’t be run out for being the “wrong sort.”  You should understand how that feels, Sev. You spent a lot of time being run out of shops for looking like the wrong sort as well. But instead of understanding you joined up with the very man who wants me and everyone like me to be dead. DEAD, Sev. Do you know what that means?  Did you think that he didn’t really mean it when he said that? That the power, fame, and glory he promised you was somehow worth throwing the rest of us in the fire? Albus told me why you did what you did. I know I must be happy that you had at least the tiniest shred of decency to help us hide, but let’s not kid ourselves. If it had been anyone else but me, you wouldn’t have done it.

Hah. I meant to write a short note, and here you have me writing a missive. I guess that’s what happens when the baby is teething and refuses to sleep. I tell myself that I can see the good in anyone. After all, I did marry James-Fathead-Potter.  Even though you were a bit rough and I didn’t always agree with your methods, I used to know that your heart was in the right place, Sev, but now I’m not sure you have a heart left at all.

I’d better stop writing. The words are beginning to blur from sleep deprivation.

-Lily

Severus didn’t realize he was crying until the first few tears hit the parchment and the ink began to smear.  Her scent, which was pressed into the parchment filled his head with bittersweet memories.  He hurriedly folded it and slipped it back inside the envelope, casting a Stasis Charm on it.  He knew it was pathetic, but at that particular moment, he didn’t particularly care.

Lily,

I know I shouldn’t keep writing to you, but you must know that I have done my best to atone for my sins. I know I have made many, many mistakes.  Believe me, nothing you have to say to me is nearly as harsh as what I tell myself, but I am doing my best to make up for what I have done wrong.  The Dark Lord is going mad, or he has already gone. It’s hard to tell the difference nowadays.  He is paranoid, he looks for reasons to maim or kill even his most ardent followers. Even Bellatrix Lestrange got subjected to his Crucio at the last meeting for speaking out of turn to praise him.

I am not telling you to leave because you are not welcome here. I am telling you to leave because regardless of what has happened, I want you to survive while Albus works to defeat the Dark Lord once and for all.

I shouldn’t say this. If the Dark Lord were to find out, I would be executed.  But I need you to know.  I need you to understand.  Please. My life is worth less than that yours and that of your family….your happiness. 

I will pay out of pocket for the portkey myself if that will convince you.

Please.

Lily.

Save yourself.

Yours,

Severus

Lily’s next letter was brief.

Sev,

Spoke with James. He agrees that we can’t trust you. The charm we’re using should protect us. Albus suggested it, and we all know that You-Know-Who is scared of his power. And, on the off-chance that your portkey is a trap, I have asked Albus to destroy any subsequent letters or items that you send.

Sorry, Sev, but I can’t take chances with my family. Maybe we can talk when this stupid war is finally over.

Love,

Lily

Severus stared at the word above her name, his heart thudding so quickly he thought it might burst.

She loves me. She still loves me.

He didn’t have any delusions that it would ever be romantic. But with his mother dead more than a year, and his father lost to drinking a few years before that, Severus had no one to love.

No one but Lily.

And she loves me.

He held the note to his chest, willing himself to breathe and wanting nothing more than for the war to be well and truly over.

But it wasn’t that simple.

It never was.

It never would be.