#(that lwj fucked into him because i refuse to think about them dying thanks)

[gentil-minou]

Imagining immortal wangxian in the present day is so much fun cause while we might think wwx would be more tech savvy of the two, I wholeheartedly believe that he'd be the grumpy one complaining about tech evolving too fast while lwj runs a popular insta travel/bunny blog

wwx: why did we get rid of flip phone in the first place if they're just gonna bring them back for smart phones???? We peaked with the Sidekick we don't need anything else, right Lan Zhan!

lwj, finding the perfect set of filters to make his pics both realistic and still ethereally pretty: Mn.

[theuntamednarrator]

Thank you @mika--82​ for the question! I’m sorry it took so long but since I really enjoyed plotting out my Cangse Sanren lives au, and I think a lot about the women in The Untamed who didn't get to see their children grow up, strap in for round two of TB Revives the Mothers of the Untamed. This week's episode: Save Mama Lan by killing Lan Qiren \^.^/

(Many thanks to @drwcn​ for letting me borrow her hc names for Mama Lan (Qui Baiti) and Papa Lan (Lan Cenrong). You can read more about them on her blog here and here.)

(Warning for an unsuccessful suicide attempt)

QBT has been isolated in the Jingshi for a decade. She only sees her sons once a month, she isn’t allowed her sword, and her spiritual power is kept sealed

But LWJ inherited his stubbornness from his mum and she's determined to escape, one way or another

LQR is walking by the Jingshi when he feels a massive surge of energy and breaks his first ever Discipline (no running in Cloud Recesses)

He wrenches the Jingshi door open and sees an array that wouldn't look out of place two decades in the future in an alternate universe in a dingy shed behind Mo Manor

LQR breaks his second Discipline in as many minutes (do not make excessive noise) when he screams for his brother before he grabs QBT and drags her out of the array

LQR didn't have time to think, let alone study what the effects of that might be, all he knew was that it was killing her, and that her death would kill the brother he loves more than anything else

The backlash strikes him and he keels over

QBT gathers him up, sobbing and asking why he did it, she wanted to die, why did you do it Lan-er-gongzi? what were you thinking? Your brother loves you

LQR meets his brother’s eyes as he appears over her shoulder, the terrified disciples flanking him a white blur

He smiles and says I know

Curtains on LQR

(alternatively, we can just kill JGS again because ngl that was real satisfying the first time around)

Now the Elders are in a pickle because this may have been an accident but QBT has now been responsible for the deaths of an Elder and Second Young Master Lan

It's decided that the only option is exile

QBT is forbidden from setting foot in Cloud Recesses and the territories of Gusu Lan for ten year and forbidden from speaking to any Lan disciple during that time

She bows, accepts back the plain sword she had yielded when she came through the gates to be married, and is gone before the dawn. LCR watches her leave and then goes to wake their sons

Now, QBT was a wandering cultivator long before she was Lan-furen and actually really enjoys returning to life on the road

I wandered once! I can do it again!

Five years later she meets XXC battling a ferocious demon snake and together they defeat it

QBT definitely doesn’t feel her heart beat a little faster at the youthful face, white robes, and elegant jade-and-silver sword

She answers XXC's graceful bow with one of her own and the two spend a week clearing out the fierce nests of demons on the mountain

The next time their wandering brings them together she is introduced to my good friend Song Lan and hides her smile in her sleeve

Meanwhile in Cloud Recesses without LQR to pick up the slack LCR is forced to step out of seclusion and actually run his sect and parent his children

He does a very good job

QBT has to fight back proud tears every time she hears Twin Jades of Lan spoken of with awe

Ten years to the day of her exile QBT is grinning as she climbs the long flights of stairs towards the gates of Cloud Recesses

Part of that might be the entertaining company she walks with

A young man clutching two bottles of Emperor's Smile and talking so fast she’s only half listening while she tries to figure out if he’s actually taken a breath since introducing himself

Talking at breakneck speed of the young master who had been so strict with him at the gates, aiya Auntie! He was so cold! you should have seen his stony face

QBT only grins harder as WWX climbs the wall, is challenged, and blades flash over tiles (it might bring back fond memories of her own youth)

She slips over the wall while they are distracted and once WWX is silenced she reaches out her hand

You handle your sword beautifully, may I?

LWJ can't even say why - it's too dark to see her face and the voice is roughened after 10 years on the road - but he hands Bichen over without a second thought

She sighs as she runs a finger over the blade and the steel glows, lighting up her face (solely because I think glowy Bichen is very sexy and we should have had more of it in the drama honestly)

Bichen suits you better than it ever suited me, ZhanZhan 

LWJ is emoting all over the place (so embarrassing)

(luckily his back is to WWX because if baby disaster bi WWX saw that smile he would've died on the spot)

WWX of course is still a troublemaking rule breaker and LWJ is still charged with overseeing his punishment

QBT and LXC are united in their LWJ should make friends agenda and LXC inherited his sense of humour and delight for teasing LWJ from QBT

Between the two of them LWJ soon has more friends than he knows what to do with

QBT and LXC co-captain the good ship Wangxian

Of course plot stuff still happens including accidental-marriage-before-a-Quest-Ghost

XXC and SL meet them in Yueyang and when LWJ introduces himself they're thrilled because hey we know your mum! she’s real cool!

They don't trust the clans and they might've heard of NMJ but they know Qui-jiejie and they trust her and so they decide XY will go to Cloud Recesses for judgement

N-wow the twin jades are really deserving of their reputations-HS insists on a Qinghe representative going too

oh me? no no Wei-xiong this has been quite enough adventure for me. Meng Yao you'll go won't you? Dage trusts you and Lan-gongzi admired your *delicate cough* capability *innocent smile*

my.blush.com/embarrassed/yearning agrees

QBT is delighted to see XXC and SL again and happily introduces them to her elder son

SL and LXC almost immediately get into a heated debate over ahistorical fantasy chinese philosophy and/or politics and are instantly bonded

QBT may or may not have instigated said debate with a well-timed quote from a well-known (re: divisive) text

Basically QBT shares my get LXC more friends agenda

SL is, again, the first person (apart from LXC and his parents) to laugh at LWJ's jokes

WWX still refuses to believe this actually happened (the joke and SL laughing) (XXC swears it’s true)

XY is locked in the back hills and eventually a) dies trying to use his hidden piece of the yin iron to break the seals OR b) is rehabilitated by the power of bunnies and become an outer disciple (reader's choice!)

XXC and SL accompany WWX and JC part of the way to Lotus Pier

Cloud Recesses is attacked, QBT and LCR send LXC and MY away with the sacred texts, MY promising he knows somewhere safe to hide

LWJ refuses to leave his parents. The losses are not as bad as in canon, the Wen are beaten back, but LCR and LWJ are both injured

No Good Very Bad Summer Camp with World's Worst Head Counselor WC

No Good Very Bad Turtle Cave of Love

WWX wakes post-rescue with LWJ still there

(Because his parents are holding Cloud Recesses and he knows LXC is safe so he doesn't need to rush off)

JZX, JC, LWJ, and WWX spend a day planning before they split up

(this is hilarious and JC says "fuck" not less than 219 times)

(WWX only almost punches JZX and it only happens twice honestly people should be grateful! he was so restrained!!)

They all return home, LWJ promising to bring reinforcements from Cloud Recesses to Lotus Pier (because it's the most obvious next target. no other reason. just. strategically it makes sense)

WQ sends WN to Lotus Pier to warn WWX when WZL's forces are on their way

When the Wen attack, they're met with a prepared force of 1) YZY and the Jiang Disciples 2) QBT, LWJ, and a contingent of Lan Disciples AND 3) JC and WWX and a gaggle of archers (seriously why tf show the Jiang being so good and then only give us two archery fight scene moments and it’s heart breaking sixth young master jiang dying and some rando ouyang disciple shooting WWX?)

Things get a little hairy but between YZY and QBT they defeat WZL and the rest of the Wen quickly surrender

JFM and JYL arrive just as the battle is ending, escorted by Madam Jin, JZX, LQY, and all the Jin Disciples who were at Cloud Recesses

(WWX: MianMian you came you must have been so worried about me! LQY, ignoring him: Lan-er-gongzi are you okay? WWX: ah Lan Zhan you MianMian really likes you! that’s lucky! LWJ, screaming internally: mn)

(JGS was furious when JZX announced he was joining the campaign but what could he possibly say in front of his battle ready wife without looking like the utter coward of a wet biscuit he is)

Once again WWX is left with a screaming sword, too much curiosity, and too much time on his hands (due to his adopted family being not-dead)

But worse he has now also access to a woman who created an array powerful enough to kill even with her spiritual power sealed

Poor WRH doesn't stand a chance, even without MY spying for the Sunshot Campaign

After the battle QBT&LCR and YZY&JFM shut JGS's bullshit power grab down real quick and JGS sulks like the baby he is (probably in a brothel) while Madam Jin and JZX take over Lanling Jin

JZX hears about MY and the way he helped LXC and NMJ sends a letter of support and JZX is already quite jealous of all these sibling bonds and welcomes Ziyao with open arms

(All of which goes slightly to waste when JZY marries out to the Lan clan slightly less than a year later but hey, at least it's a good alliance.)

WQ takes over the Wen Clan but tears down Nightless City and relocates the capital to Dafan

(WQ: have you been to Nightless City? It’s built on an active volcano. Do you know how bad sulfur ash is for open wounds? Do you know what medical herbs grow in lava slurry? None is the answer. My family are all fucking morons)

(WQ: Not you a-Ning you’re a delight and we’re thrilled you’re here)

Rumour has it a certain immortal was so impressed with the stories of the medical techniques of Dafan Wen that she paid WQ a visit

(Disciples are so reckless after all! One never knows when one might need to be capable of transplanting vital organs!)

Each year WWX and LWJ spend 3 months at Gusu, 3 months at Lotus Pier, and 6 months wandering with XXC and SL

They get "fake married" no less than four times in three years (for the investigation xiongzhang! absolutely no other reason shishu! no other reason at all!) before LXC, MY, XXC, and SL get fed up and barricade them in their room until they talk to each other dammit

(LXC is very grateful MY has gotten so handy with the silencing talismans because the 'conversation' gets uncomfortably loud real quick)

Side note to say Clarity works very well to avert a qi deviation when it's not being actively corrupted, thanks very much, and NMJ lives many, many, many years which would be entirely happy if only NHS would pick up his saber once in a while

He would tell NHS this if he could ever find him

Happy ending!³

[crossdressingdeath]

1/9 - So I’m going to go on a bit of a tangent here, so let me know if any of this doesn’t send thanks to tumblr haha. in reference to your comments about the Guanyin Temple core transfer convo...we’ve got to talk about that scene. Because seriously when JC and WWX discuss the golden core reveal in the temple, JC’s behaviour is actually appalling. He openly mocks WWX, to the point where WWX is actually

2/9 shocked because while he knew JC wouldn’t just forgive him if he knew the truth, he was shocked by how “unkind” he was being. It was so bad that WWX, who has grown up with JC’s immature tantrums, felt like this was way too harsh. And then without ANY prompting - literally all WWX says is “I never asked you to thank me” - JC of course takes that as an insult to him. Starts acting like WWX is bragging and saying that JC isn’t as good as him - and in this scene he is so much like his mother

3/9 it’s creepy. He sounds irrational, insane even. Twisting everyone’s words. He starts screaming about how WWX thinks he’s better than him, tries to PHYSICALLY ATTACK WWX - seriously how anyone thinks that you can sympathise with this guy is beyond me. The guy is literally just creating problems for himself.

4/9 But then of course we get the part that you were talking about - when WWX says “take it as my repayment to the Jiang sect” and JC - JC OF COURSE feels the need to say “repayment for my father, my mother, my sister.” DAMMIT MAN WWX DID NOT CAUSE THEIR DEATHS. For gods sake, I feel no pity for JC here because he has had YEARS to come to terms with it. WWX did not kill his parents, the wens did. They would have used any excuse to attack - are we seriously going to blame the victim instead of

5/9 the instigators? For example - JYL told Jin ZiXun off for being rude to WWX. At that stage the Jins were probably stronger than the Jiangs, who were still rebuilding. You’re telling me if the Jins retaliated and hurt the Jiang sect, JC would’ve even thought to blame his sister? Or does he ever mention the fact that his mother was insulting the Wens to, regardless of the fact that they were attacking? Like...if you want to talk about bad decisions, at least WWX didn’t know that his actions

6/9 would lead to the Wen sect attacking - YZY could have at least tried to negotiate that situation, she’s an adult and in charge of the sect for Christ’s sake. But nope, she’s allowed to be angry, and it’s totally the teenagers fault. And JYL? Like god, it sucks that she died, and maybe wwx did contribute to that situation, but he did not kill her! JC needs to stop telling everyone, including her son, that he did, because it’s an insult to JYL and the choices she made. Just...JC is ridiculous.

7/9 Wwx gave up everything for him because he loved him that much. His whole life - everything he had worked for - and he asked for nothing in return. He would’ve happily become the villain if only to protect JC’s reputation and peace of mind. And JC is seriously going to twist this situation to make it look like WWX did this to try and be better than him? Like, how badly did your mother mess you up that you think anyone would go through torturous pain,

8/9 and destroy their life’s achievement just to have one up on you? And if WWX really was some kind of power hungry show off, why the hell would he give away the very thing that supposedly makes him better than you, TO YOU, and then NOT TELL YOU ABOUT IT??? Like, what sort of attention seeking narcissist, what JC apparently views WWX as, would do all of that, supposedly for the attention, and then not tell anyone? Where’s the logic????

I’m missing part 9, but yeah. WWX all but outright says “I did this because I wanted to help you, because I care about you, because I didn’t want to see you suffer” and JC twists it into some hero complex bullshit where WWX only did it to one-up him and just... what the fuck? How do people look at this and insist JC was in the right? And even after basically saying that WWX only gave JC his golden core for attention, after thirteen years in which he could’ve looked back and considered what happened, JC still goes for “Well, actually, you were obligated to give up your golden core because you killed my family and that was definitely your fault”. I mean, that’s pretty much what he’s saying! WWX is basically saying “I did this because I love your family and owe them” and JC’s response is “You killed them and you have to pay for that”. I mean... thirteen years. He’s had thirteen years as a sect leader to realize that the Wens would have attacked anyway, that JYL chose to save WWX even at the cost of her own life, and he’s still spewing this “It’s all your fault” bullshit.

And if the Jins had retaliated against the Jiangs for fighting with JZXun it would, of course, be all WWX’s fault for refusing to sit quietly and let himself be insulted. Just like it’s all his fault Lotus Pier fell, and YZY antagonizing the Wens had nothing to do with it. WWX is an easy target for JC to blame things on; his rank is entirely reliant on JC and he won’t argue if the blame is coming from a Jiang. He’s not going to disagree or lash out. If JC comes up with a reason, he can do anything he likes to WWX and WWX won’t do anything about it. It takes WWX dying, coming back, and spending a lot of time with LWJ (who treats him like a person worthy of love and respect and not a convenient scapegoat even when using him as such would save LWJ a lot of trouble) before he even begins to acknowledge that the way JC treats him isn’t okay. JC has spent his entire life blaming WWX from everything from his dogs being taken away to his father not loving him enough to him not being an extraordinary cultivator to the Wens attacking because WWX won’t fight it. 

Honestly? Even the fact that JC thinks WWX would do anything for the sake of showing JC up shows that JC never actually bothered to get to know WWX. Like, he seriously thinks WWX wants to show him up, make him look bad. Even if we set aside the fact that no one would go through that much pain and suffering and keep quiet about it for so long just to get one over on someone else, what the actual fuck JC, we’re talking about WWX here. The guy who slacked off on training and held himself back right up until war broke out because he didn’t want JC to feel like he was overshadowed. The guy who was always the one to start fights before JC got a chance to so that JC wouldn’t get in trouble. The guy who spent over a decade taking the blame for everything they did wrong and praising JC at every opportunity even when it wasn’t deserved to make JC’s parents proud of him. And JC is saying that guy would have given up his incredibly powerful golden core, crippling himself at the beginning of a war, losing huge amounts of power and drastically shortening his lifespan... just to make JC look bad. He thinks WWX would go out of his way and hurt himself that much to make JC look weaker.

Of course, the reasoning is, I think, fairly obvious: JC would never sacrifice his golden core if he didn’t get something from it so clearly WWX must have an ulterior motive! Except there’s no ulterior motive big enough to make giving up your golden core worth it, so he has to come up with some bullshit about hero complexes and showing off to justify it. He’s just falling into the same pit as so many other jackasses: not realizing that not everyone operates solely based on self-interest.

[frizzyanya]

The Untamed Episode 14, My Commentary!

Reader beware, spoilers below....

Of note, this is when my friends corrected me and said that it was supposed to be “LWJ” rather than “LZ” and I corrected it. Hopefully that explains the change.

WWX PUT LWJ’S HEADBAND BACK ON TO HELP HIM I LOVE THAT MAN

“I guess we have to stay here for a period of time.” Oh, whatever shall you do, you poor dears.

Also can I just say how impressive it was that WWX so successfully put the headband on correctly, through LWJ’S hair, which I may add is STILL PULLED BACK PERFECTLY?

WWX: “Death by a monster that is ten thousand years old will not be shameful when people find out, right?!” (paraphrased)(I paused there, I’m predicting reactions) LWJ’s eyes got wide and he’s like!?!??! Now it’s a choose your own adventure, and the options are: : 1. “WHAT THE ACTUAL F.” 2. “You dumdum!!” 3. “..........” (nothing, because that’s what he usually says) “I don’t want you to die, thanks.”

The winner was that they straight up cut away after his eyes got big, so we shall never know. I assume the “……….” one though.

THEY’RE COLLECTING WEAPONS. 

YES GOOD, THIS IS GOOD.

Oh they cut the strings from the bows, brilliant.

LWJ’s finger lit up blue like ET, I’m DYING. Their abilities change by the second.

“We’ll fight until the last breath. Let’s see who will die first.” Yeah, no, thanks very much, but don’t do that.

If there are what appear to be smelly mummified bodies, yeah, DON’T GO NEAR THEM, WWX.

FUCKIN HELL DO NOT LET THE MUMMIES’ EYES OPEN.

Wait I’m just now realizing that these aren’t his inner thoughts. 

ARE THEY CONNECTED BY TELEPATHY OR SOMETHING????

Seriously, what they are able to do is changing by the minute.

It’s so hard to watch and type correctly but I’m doing my best, y’all.

WWX...tried to pull the sword out of the ground? Okay Arthur……

Wait, I am VERY confused. He’s…...inside of the shell? And the basilisk is also inside? But the basilisk is now sized such that this shell must be the size the cave originally was?

WWX holding onto the sword that’s stuck in the bottom of the basilisk’s jaw is GREAT. Idk is this scene was fun to shoot or just made him SUPER dizzy.

THIS IS IN NO WAY HOW GRAVITY WORKS

But let’s ignore that I guess

LWJ straining to save WWX by attempting to slice its throat with the string is INTENSE

And now the sword itself is bleeding?!?!?!?! WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW.

Oh nevermind. LWJ and WWX both have bloody hands from their endeavors.

THE SWORDS ARE SHAKING

I’m about to LOVE this, aren’t I!??!!??!

LWJ pulling WWX out of the WATER IS??!?!?!?!??!? OMG?!?!??!??!

He’s walking, so that’s good!

Wait no he’s unconscious.

DO TELL ME, HOW DOES ONE WALK WHILE UNCONSCIOUS.

Lol

Okay, so we moved to a NON WangXian scene (is there a WWX/LWJ portmanteau? I don’t know one.) AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

Bad Guy and Other Bad Guy discussing Bad Guy Things. 

Ugh. The puppet lair scenes are so stressful. :( 

I have to pee SO BAD but I refuse to leave.

Now it’s WWX’s turn to spit up blood.

These babies try so hard.

Okay so WWX looks like he’s dying and I just keep waiting for him to say that True Love’s Kiss is all that will save him.

“Lan Zhan, I didn’t think I would survive this.” *starts to die* “Wei Ying! You have a fever.” “DO NOT FUCKING DIE ON ME. HERE LET ME SAVE YOU LIKE NBD, BECAUSE I’M A REAL LIFE ANGEL ALL IN WHITE.”

Is this using up LWJ’s strength? Because I love that trope. That would be excellent.

IF HE SINGS FOR HIM

PLEASE LWJ

I MEAN, PLEASE WRITERS, LET WANG YIBO SING.

I think I’m watching the wrong thing. 

I think the video got messed up.

I think Netflix is accidentally sending me to a youtube fanvid montage of all of their cute scenes.

This is…………………….I FUCKING CAN’T. It’s their whole story with them singing over it. THIS IS TOO FUCKING MUCH.

I ABSOLUTELY 100% CAN FUCKING NOT.

You better believe I’m replaying that entire montage right now.

This song (Wu Ji with both of them singing) is on my playlist so I’ve probably listened to it like 20 times. I’M ALREADY OBSESSED WITH IT AND YOU PUT THIS VIDEO OVER TOP. OH MY FUCKING LORD.

They’re both losing strength it seems! I’m just AHHHHHHHH

Poor WWX passed out.

THEY’RE OUTSIDE?!?! 

DID LWJ CARRY HIM OUT?!?!?!

WHAT HAPPENED??!!?!?

HOW DID HE DO THAT?!??!

…………...Wait. LWJ LEFT?!?!?!?!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?! HE LEFT HIM!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!??!

I’m not okay with this! My own favorite character is now on my shit list. Is that possible? Is that allowed.

So JZX and JC were their saviors. That’s good I guess. Though the pair of them surviving for 7 days with no food is……..I’m just like a’ight.

Oh, SHIT. Everything was taken over by the Wen Clan.

Damn them.

Though Bad Guy has disappeared to look for the Yin Iron, so that’s Not Great Dan.

Separately, I really, really, really, really like the arm circle thing instead of shaking hands or hugging. It’s amazing and I want to adopt it.

“WWX, this time if you’re alive, I’m not going to spare you.” JUST LIKE HE SHOULDN’T HAVE SPARED YOU, BAD GUY.

They’re back to Jiang Clan. 

JYL is soooo pretty.

WWX passed out again! I feel like that means we deserve another cute montage, right?!

Lol jk

Is WWX in JYL’s room? Is she delicately taking care of him?!? I LOVE IT.

AND JC TOO.

I’M SO HERE FOR THIS ADORABLE SCENE.

THEY’RE PRECIOUS.

Papa came too!

Mama Jiang needs to stay tf away though or I will throw hands.

Both of the boys when talking to Papa Jiang are THE BEST. Trying to talk up the other.

NO.

EVIL MAMA JIANG IS HERE.

Ugh, how did I know.

She’s SO MEAN

To both JC and WWX!

WAIT WHAT

Ohhhhh so she’s angry WWX might be a Jiang bastard?

And that Papa Jiang loves WWX’s mother? Okay so that’s no excuse to be cruel to him!!!!! Didn’t we learn ANYTHING from Harry Potter, people?!! Spoiler alert, Snape was the BAD GUY. 

Okay, Imma call her Lady Snape from now on.

“He’s not stricter towards me, he just doesn't like me or my mother.” (paraphrased) NOOOO BABYYYYY.

Poor thing. I mean, seems like he’s right, but also poor thing.

THIS BROTHERLY LOVE SCENE WITH WWX TELLING JC HE’LL BE A GOOD LEADER IS EVERYTHING, MY HEART ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT HANDLE IT.