#(though they WERE captain america movies sometimes people get so mad when the focus is on the main character

[autumnrory]

i do think sometimes need to remember when something is an issue in fanon and that canon is not necessarily Like That

[themattress]

“You don't have to kill anyone. You don’t go around killing people. It's not nice.”

This was said by George Lucas when developing Return of the Jedi, as justification as to why he axed Han Solo’s death even though Harrison Ford desperately wanted in (and as a result phoned in his performance throughout the movie), and why he didn’t even want to kill Yoda. 

What’s disheartening for me is that too many fans these days agree with him.

I am not arguing that all character deaths are good, because that is far from the truth. Character deaths that are done for shock value, for misogynistic reasons, for not being able to think of anything else to do with the character even when there are obvious creative paths available....those are all terrible and should be condemned.  But so many people these days just condemn any character death (or imperilment, troubles, or any kind of high-stakes conflict, really) as “BAD WRITING!” It’s a knee-jerk reaction just because they’re upset about the death or whatever, without actually taking time to think and analyze if it was earned or not, if it’s truly objectively bad writing or if it’s just writing that they personally don’t care for.

Which brings me to my main subject here: Anthony and Joe Russo.

The Russo Brothers have directed four hit Marvel movies: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War, and Avengers: Endgame. Despite all of these movies being critical and financial successes, there remains a sizable constituent on the internet who hates these movies and the Russo Brothers because they dare to kill off characters, create difficult and challenging conflicts between characters, and raise the stakes to the highest personal extent possible, with a happy ending not always guaranteed for all.

Yet despite these fans’ constant accusations of the Russos being the definitive bad MCU directors and for their movies to be full of bad writing, when looked at objectively these just don’t hold any water. The S.H.I.E.L.D - HYDRA connection? That was set up in the previous Capain America movie and in The Avengers. The titular Civil War between the Avengers? Makes absolutely perfect sense not just when considering the Sokovian Accords and Bucky being framed but also when considering the pasts, characters and motivations of each individual Avenger, especially Cap and Iron Man. And then of course we have Infinity War and Endgame, which have gotten the majority of fan outrage. And why is that, exactly?

Well, mostly because characters died. Some temporarily, some permanently, some horribly, some peacefully, but there was a lot of death. And naturally the fans of those characters are angry about that. But is it bad writing? Were those deaths unearned and hold no deeper significance? No. All the temporary deaths had to happen because that’s literally how the story goes - this is a loose adaptation of The Infinity Gauntlet, where half of all life in the universe is wiped out and then later restored, so of course that was going to happen here. 

Heimdall had to die in-universe as a sacrifice to get Bruce back to Earth and out of universe because Idris Elba didn’t want to play the role anymore. Loki had to die because a noble death for the sake of his family was always the trajectory of his arc in the whole MCU and it had to be done here after the original plan to do it in Thor: The Dark World fell through, plus it effectively establishes Thanos’ ruthlessness and kick-starts Thor’s arc in these two films. There are a lot of reasons for the death of the prime timeline’s Gamora and of alt!timeline’s Nebula later on which could fill a post of its own, but the bottom line is that they were narratively justified and well built up to. Vision had to die for obvious reasons and it’s nebulous at this point if it’s a permanent death anyway. And Tony Stark’s death was essential to closing out his overall character arc - I know that fans would love to see him live happily ever after with his wife and daughter, but when you put your feelings aside and look at him objectively you realize that this would be a betrayal of everything that had been established and developed about the character. As Doctor Strange put it, this was the only way.

The one death that I think is actually debatable is Natasha’s, and even then I feel that this is mitigated by the fact that they were also considering killing Clint instead: one of them had to die for the Soul Stone to be obtained and it was just a matter of which one would make the sacrifice play, which offers a brilliant thematic contrast between how Thanos obtained the Stone. While I’m sad it was Natasha, I admit that I do think it’s better off being her than Clint.

Some also take issue with how some characters got portrayed, chiefly Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, and Steve Rogers. With Thor, it’s a complicated issue involving either fans loving what was done with him in Ragnarok and upset that so much of that was reversed (although I find that the most essential things from that film were followed up on), or taking offense to his fat, drunken portrayal in Endgame (something I think is more a matter of bad acting than bad writing). With Bruce, they don’t like the Professor Hulk angle they went with, even though by all means it’s the logical conclusion to the character’s struggle with his dual nature and pays off brilliantly when all the Infinity Stones are collected. And I don’t think the ending for Steve himself is bad per se, but I will admit that if anything in these films absolutely deserves to be called bad writing, it’s his ending due to the implications it has for both of the Carter women. But since it only comes at the end and only affects a few characters, it’s not too bad, IMO.

An Infinity War-specific complaint is Thanos, whom people say is either made too sympathetic or even heroic and not villainous enough (which is a damn lie: Thanos as a three-dimensional being who is framed as the hero in his own mind and as the “hero” of the movie in order to serve its gut-punch of an ending does not make him any less of a repulsively evil monster), is adequately villainous but the narrative takes his side or acts like he has a point (again, confusing the deliberately twisted framework of the movie’s story for authorial intent, when in reality the Russos expect their audience to be intelligent enough to know that Thanos is hopelessly deluded in his messiah complex, which is made much clearer in Endgame), or is a bad villain because his plan makes no logical sense (if his plan made logical sense, he wouldn’t be the MAD Titan or even the villain, his plan is meant to be insane because he’s insane, it’s supposed to be illogical because Thanos isn’t adhering to real logic but to his twisted view of what should have been done on his homeworld that he is applying to the rest of the universe as part of a narcissistic desire to validate himself to everyone.)

An Endgame-specific complaint is time travel, which is messy in any story and thus always has people confused about its shaky and often inconsistent rules. Complaining about that misses the point that this is both a character drama so that’s where the focus should be - on how the time travel shenanigans affect them and not on the shenanigans themselves - and a freaking comic book movie, and comic books are full of these nonsensical elements. They always have been and they always will be. If you’re going in expecting every fantastical element to always make sense or always be consistent, then you’re watching the wrong film.

And of course there are nitpicks everyone likes to make. And that is the death of cinema.

If you don’t like the Russos’ movies for any personal reason, then you’re free to do so and to admit that. But going on that they’re “badly written”, or that they somehow trashed the MCU’s story and characters, or whatever hyperbole you come off with based on your emotions rather than looking at things objectively is wrong. It’s not your cup of tea, and that’s OK. But the fact still stands that these movies are objectively well-written and well-directed movies, and that characters dying and high-stakes conflicts transpiring are sometimes necessary. 

[qandnoablog]

Anomaly (Marvel Imagine)

Title: Discovered

Pairing: [In Progress]

Warnings: This part isn’t like my other ones since it doesn’t take place in any actual part of the Marvel movies. The scenes, however, are based on the movies - Thor Ragnarok Spider-Man: Homecoming

There will be some moments where a character will be experiencing a panic attack. Since this is based on my own experiences with panic attacks, I hope no one feels offended by how I describe it.

Part: 10, [9], [8], [7], [6], [5], [4], [3], [2], [1]

Key: Y/N - Your Name Y/L/N - Your Last Name

Word Count: 3,273

Summary: All seemed peaceful for [Y/N]. Everything had quieted down since her last adventure with Spider-Man. Little did she know, it was the calm before a storm.

Note From Author: Midterms are coming yet again and I wanted to post this before cramming like crazy! I’m sorry for making you all wait and I hope you enjoy this part!

Part 10 - Anomaly

It had been about a year since her encounter with Spider-Man.

[Y/N] had finally settled to life in New York, enjoying the lively atmosphere and often exploring around without too many worries. Her capture wasn’t exactly a priority, like Captain America or Wanda Maximoff would be, so she didn’t have to be wary of who could find her. In addition, Tony seemed to be helping behind the scenes, erasing any digital trail she may have left behind. She could never confirm his involvement, but she suspected it to be him nonetheless.

Spider-Man would visit frequently, the two sometimes just hanging out as he asked all kinds of questions about the Avengers. At first, he was so caught up with her new gloves that he sometimes forgot she even existed. He got so wrapped up, practically begging her to borrow it for closer examination, but it soon died down.

After that, he would go fight crime and she would sometimes tag along. Nothing too serious happened since then, so he could handle most of it alone. [Y/N] was just there for any damage control, helping him be more efficient during fights. Ned would sometimes also come over with Peter when the two needed a place to work on both actual school projects and other side “projects” without the watching eyes of their guardians. Overall, it was very peaceful.

Everything seemed to be going great until one day… Well, it was one of the worst days [Y/N] had experienced in her life.

The day started off normal. She had woken up early, a bit before her alarm, and was feeling energized to just go out and explore more of New York. Then, something completely unexpected happened.

While walking down the somewhat empty streets, the sun barely making its way up in the sky, a strange, orange glowing circle appeared on the ground around her. A bit panicked, the sparks of light dangerously close to her ankles, she jumped away from the center of the circle. Without someone in the middle of it, it quickle fizzled out and was gone.

What the hell?

She peered over at the empty sidewalk, examining it closely, but it showed no signs of charring from the odd occurance. Then, it happened again. The same circle appeared under her, but this time it was faster. [Y/N] felt gravity pull her down as the ground below her just vanished.

The sensation reminded her of the wormhole back on Sakaar, the flashes of memories jolting her with fear and adrenaline. Her breathing accelerated and her hair stood on end as power welled up inside her and exploded her upwards with incredible force, away from the portal. Just like before, the circle vanished when she no longer stood atop it.

No, no, no, no, no, [Y/N] chanted again and again.

Panic became hysteria as she trembled all over. The fact that she was completely exposing her abilities in public, regardless of the lack of people, didn’t even register in her mind. All she could think of was how she didn’t want to go back to that alien planet. There was no telling how long she’d be stuck in that wretched place again, if she was sent there at all. She might not even be able to return to Earth like last time. [Y/N] was lucky when Loki and Thor ended up there. If she got sent there again, it could possibly be forever. And, if the Grandmaster still ruled and remembered her, she wouldn’t be safe.

Take a breath. Panicking will get you nowhere. Breathe!

A few seconds passed by. Then a minute. After a couple of minutes of waiting the circle still did not reappear. Her breathing settled somewhat and her heartbeat returned to its normal pace. Though adrenaline still pulsed through her, making her uncomfortable with the excess energy, she was too scared to completely calm down.

It’s okay, she tried to tell herself, It could be nothing. Wormholes don’t usually appear in the middle of the ground, right?

But how was she supposed to know? That time on Sakaar, a wormhole just suddenly emerged and sucked her away from her friends and onto Earth. Thankfully, she ended up where she wanted to be, but that was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. Out of the infinite possibilities, it was highly unlikely that she would be that lucky again.

However, as she was carefully thinking about all her options while hovering in the air, those same sparks flew out to right beside her. The shock of it startled her so much that the hold on her powers faltered and she began to fall dangerously fast.

Shit!

It wasn’t a fatal height, but it was enough to do some serious damage. She braced for impact, her muscles tensing at the expected solid ground, but then the falling didn’t stop. [Y/N] could already surmise what had happened, the odd portal strangely targeting her, but she was too scared to open her eyes to confirm it. Still, the familiar feeling of nausea was enough for her to know what happened without seeing for herself.

I don’t want to go!

~

“Ah, you’re awake,” an unfamiliar voice called out as [Y/N] finally opened her eyes.

Everything was unfamiliar. The ceiling. The floor. The walls. The bed. Everything… They were all things she’d never seen before. Her heart raced as the events of what happened flooded back to her and her breathing became erratic. Tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t even focus on the person beside her. She couldn’t control her body as it trembled, her body feeling unnaturally cold as the blood drained from her. Reality was slipping from her and she began to hyperventilate, when something brushed against her hand.

“Shhh,” the stranger soothed, his gloved hand gently squeezing her own, “You’re alright. You’re okay. Just take a deep breath.”

[Y/N] finally turned to the speaker. Even he was unfamiliar. He had white streaks on both sides of his hair, contrasting with his normal full head of black. The lighting was dim, so it was hard to focus. Everything about him seemed elegant, but most importantly… Human. He appeared to be human. Though the thought should have reassured her, many people on Sakaar looked human. His clothes certainly didn’t resemble the fashion sense of Earth that she knew of. Still, not knowing was worse than knowing, since the imagination could be scarier than the truth. If she wanted to finally rid herself of this anxiety, she’d have to ask that dreaded, awful question.

“W-where…” She choked a bit, unable to form words as tears spilled from her eyes. Shuting them tight and taking in a breath, she tried again. “Where am I?”

“New York,” he answered, his stern features softening, “Earth, year 2017.”

It took her a moment for the words to sink in. New York. 2017. Earth.

[Y/N]’s body crumpled back in relief and the tears flooded like a broken dam. She covered her face in her hands, unable to stop herself from crying as the fear of being on another alien planet eased away from her. Sobs escaped from her as the sounds filled the near silent room. The man beside her just sat there, patiently waiting for her.

She wasn’t back on Sakaar. She wasn’t trapped on a foreign planet. She wasn’t sent to another place in time. She was still in New York. She was still on Earth.

It surprised [Y/N] how much the many years stranded on Sakaar had damaged her. Of course it was a scarring experience, but it never hindered her this much over the years she had returned to Earth. The memories resurfaced from time to time, often in the form of a nightmare, but they never bothered her to this extent.

“Who are you?” [Y/N] asked when she finally cooled down and recalled that she wasn’t alone in this strange room. Her eyes were still red and most likely puffy from all the crying, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was very calm, which helped her to feel a bit more at peace.

“My name is Doctor Stephen Strange.”

~

“You’re a what?”

Stephen had finished explaining where she was, why she was here, and how he had brought her there. He seemed to think that all of this was quite easy to comprehend, but a world of magic was just a bit difficult to believe. If he was categorized as a god or an alien, perhaps it would have been easier, but him being a normal human… Now that was hard to wrap her head around.

“I am the master of the mystic arts,” he repeated, “and I brought you here because I sensed an anomaly around you.”

“Look, Mister-”

“Doctor,” Strange interrupted her, adamant on getting that title across.

“Doctor,” she corrected, a bit drained from everything that went on, “I just experienced hell and now you want me to believe all this magic stuff?”

Honestly, she wanted to be mad. She wanted to be furious and throw a tantrum at the man who had caused her so much distress, but she was also tired. She was so exhausted due to all the change that went through her life, every bad experience just crashing back on her in that moment of hopelessness, that she just couldn’t muster up the energy to fight this man. He was a stranger to her. It was fine to leave it at that, wasn’t it?

“I just want to go home. Maybe take a nap. Can I go now?”

“Miss [Y/L/N],” the man replied, his expression serious and unchanging, “I keep tabs on everything that may be a threat to this world, but when you entered my city, there was just something off.”

“Off?” [Y/N] couldn’t even gather enough energy to feel offended.

“It’s as if the time around you is distorted,” Stephen clarified, trying to keep it simple so as to not confuse her. It didn’t really work.

Noticing her blank expression, he waved a hand in front of her, and a strange tingle prickled at her. She looked down at her own arms and noticed something rippling off her skin in almost transparent waves. It felt a bit odd, and she tried to touch whatever it was, but her hands just phased through them.

“W-what the-? What is this?” [Y/N] questioned, goosebumps forming at the intangibility of it.

“Thirty… No, twenty… Eight?” He muttered as he examined the ripples, his hand resting under his chin in thought, “Yes. Twenty-eight.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are off this timeline by twenty-eight years.”

It was then that it clicked. [Y/N] now knew exactly what he meant by off and anomaly. She didn’t know how he knew, but it seemed he was talking about her years on Sakaar. Still, she didn’t know this man. In fact, because of the stunt he just pulled, she didn’t trust him either. Why should she answer any of his questions?

“Ah, so that’s what happened,” Stephen nodded before she could even say a word. He leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of tea that seemed to appear out of thin air. “Well, nothing I can do about that. Strange, but harmless. I apologize for wasting your time.”

“Wait-”

But before she could finish, everything around her blurred. In the blink of an eye, a room full of old books, ancient artifacts, and elegant decor was replaced with the busy, bustling streets of New York. People walked around her, not even noticing that she had appeared out of nowhere.

She felt a bit queasy, the feeling of being transported from one location to another making her recall those wormholes and portals, but she swallowed back the nausea and blinked a couple more times. The sun was now high in the sky, showing how much time had passed. Its bright light made her eyes sting, since they had been adjusted to the dim lighting of that strange room. Shaking off the sick feeling, she gave up the idea of getting answers and simply let the matter drop.

“I really hate magic,” she grumbled, her mood fouled by the whole event as she finally arrived home and flopped onto her bed.

“Now that seems a bit harsh,” a coy voice whispered into her ear, making her jump back in alarm.

The man who stood before her was all too familiar. The years didn’t erase the memory of him, the image etched into her brain from all the rage she had felt for him that day. Without thinking on it for another second, her fist flew towards him, aimed directly at his face. However, her hand merely phased through the figure, his nose uninjured, as she stumbled forward from the lack of impact.

“Hello to you too, [Y/N].”

“Go to Hell, Loki.”

~

“Yes, the second-rate sorcerer,” Loki huffed, his brows furrowing slightly at the memory, “I must remember to pay him back someday.”

[Y/N] had given in once she realized he would not leave her alone.

He had sent a copy of himself onto Earth, admiring the “foolish actions of Midgardians” whenever he was bored, when he had happened upon her. Of course he was not looking for her, not even knowing that she was back on Earth and not with Thor, but he couldn’t pass up this opportunity to mess with her. Besides, he had some free time.

“You know Doctor Strange?”

She had known Loki for a few weeks back on Sakaar and though their relationship was far from friendship, it wasn’t as small as an acquaintanceship. They grew to tolerate one another, especially in the face of the Grandmaster, so of course they could hold a conversation. However, that became a bit awkward after Loki’s little mind tricks he had casted around the time of Thor’s arrival on the alien planet. Still, she hadn’t seen him in years. If she couldn’t forgive this god, then she could at least hold out so that she could find out how Thor was doing after all this time.

“We had a brief encounter,” he scowled at the memory and quickly pushed it aside before it could ruin his good mood, “but enough about me. I’m more curious on why you’re on Earth and not with my brother.”

“Wait, are you with him right now?” [Y/N] asked, sitting up on her bed and following Loki with her eyes as he wandered around her apartment.

“No, I am with a more… Rambunctious bunch,” he chuckled a bit dryly, clearly unamused by the company around him, wherever he may be. “Just some rebels rallied together to go help save Asgard from Ragnarok.”

That made her freeze. She had forgotten that she had been thrown back in time from that day on Sakaar. In Thor’s perspective, she must have been sucked up by that wormhole just mere minutes or hours ago. Not even a day must have passed by since then.

“Okay,” [Y/N] said, nodding as she took it all in. He was curious when he examined her reactions, but wasn’t too interested on what was buzzing through her head. As he was hundreds of years older than any Midgardian, he assumed her thoughts were just as insignificant. “So that means Thor made it off of Sakaar, right?”

“Of course,” the God of Mischief was a bit confused. Her question didn’t quite make sense to him and he didn’t like feeling left in the dark. With that, he decided return to his previous question. “Why are you on Earth?”

At first, [Y/N] was quiet. She wasn’t sure whether or not she should tell Loki about what had happened. First of all, she didn’t like him. Though her feelings towards him weren’t quite hatred, they weren’t very pleasant. Giving this god information was like arming him for battle. Secondly, [Y/N] enjoyed that slight bit of annoyance that shone on his face. It wasn’t a big win but she considered it one nonetheless.

After a while, [Y/N] finally gave in and decided to tell him everything. She took a gamble and prayed that he would pass on the information to Thor. He must have been worried about her since she was suddenly taken away. There wasn’t a day that went by that she wasn’t anxiously thinking back on what had happened after that day. Now that Loki was here, during the time where the battle against Hela was upon them, she desperately wanted Thor to know that she was alright and that he didn’t have to concern himself about her. His focus should go solely to his safety and his people. She didn’t want to hinder that.

“I see,” was all Loki said.

He looked bored, silently listening to her ramble on, but she had studied him enough to read him to a certain extent. Though his face portrayed indifference, his eyes sparked as calculations and thoughts raced through his mind. [Y/N] couldn’t decipher too much, she wasn’t a mind reader after all, but she knew he cared enough to hear her story out. Or at least he cared enough about the information she presented to listen carefully. Hopefully, he would pass on this message to Thor. That was all she could ask for.

Seconds turned to minutes as the silence continued. Surprisingly, the noiseless atmosphere wasn’t as awkward as one would have expected. The two of them were actually used to this, their days in Sakaar making any moment of quiet more blissful than stiff. Then, Loki looked up and glanced at what seemed to be an empty wall.

“Oh, looks like we’ve arrived,” Loki murmured, his image rippling as the main body stirred.

More and more of him started to disappear and for some reason, something within [Y/N] stirred.

“Loki!”

She called out without thinking. When he stopped fading, returning to a more solid image, and turned to her, more surprised than amused, she nervously bit her lower lip.

“Just…”

[Y/N] hesitated. She didn’t want him to know she was worried, given that she was still very mad at him, but she couldn’t let these words just be bottled up within her. Regret would consume her if something happen to him in this upcoming battle. They weren’t exactly friends, but how could she, in good conscience, let a man going off into a bloody battle go without settling debts?

If it wasn’t for him and his brother, she would have never escaped the confinements of Sakaar. Though she couldn’t forgive him completely for making her feel so humiliated that time he had forced her to spill her secrets, she still felt grateful to him for bringing a bit of Earth back to her. It must have been a small thing for him to share but to her… It granted her a sliver of hope.

“Just…” She took in a deep breath, steeling her nerves, and looked him in the eyes. Showing no weakness and only speaking the genuine truth, she finished her sentence. “Don’t die.”

His eyes widened, clearly not expecting those words to ever be directed at him.

“Well, not before I can kill you, anyways,” [Y/N] added with a grin.

A few seconds passed, something clearly happening where his true body was since his image kept flickering, and then, Loki smiled. Though it was that mischievous, signature smile of his, there was a glint that shone in his eyes before he faded away, leaving [Y/N] all alone in her little apartment.

Author’s Note: I’ll be taking a break from writing any more parts. Though a large part has to do with college and my daily life, I’ll mostly be on hiatus until after Avengers 4 is released so I can make the next few parts (which will be based on Infinity War) as accurate as possible. Thank you for sticking with me and enjoying my works! I hope you all will be patient and still want to read Discovered when I return!

[PART 11]

Tags: @themeanestlittlewitch  @stressedandbandobessed7771 @moistpotatobear @fxckingfat​

[braindamageforbeginners]

A Return to the Abyssal Plains

Week 9, Day 64

So, I’m back in the abyss for more abuse/treatment (more on that in a moment), but, in keeping with the grand re-launch (re-sinking?) of this project, as I go into the year-long chemo regimen - which promises to be miserable, but it definitely beats the alternatives - I thought it might help keep me focused (at least for this post) to affirm the grand goal of this little project (to any long-time readers, don’t worry, this will still serve as a black-box recording of my ongoing descent). To recap; I just finished the initial stage of post-surgical treatment for brain cancer/malignant tumors, with the added bonus of participating in an experimental chemo trial (specifically, I’m being tested for safety and side-effects)(I’m hoping that one of the side-effects is to give me superpowers, so I refer to it as the Captain America serum), with a drug designed to prevent tumor recurrence (that’s what it’s being tested for, anyway). So, yesterday was the start of the first chemo cycle - out of 12 (each cycle is 28 days, so I’m now on the Chinese calendar), and it seemed as good a time as any to double down on the madness.

For all new readers, I tend to use the overarching metaphor of being in the abyssal plains - which is what a cancer diagnosis feels like, it’s like being banished to some horrifying, dark reality; particularly as you realize that your life is now governed by factors over which you have virtually no control.. And, in cancer, sometimes the best move you can make is simply to exist (to live) until some better treatment or opportunity comes along that you can seize upon. There will be a lot of squid metaphors.

However, if I may mix metaphors (a side-effect of the chemo is that you tend to lose focus and get forgetful, so I’ll meander quite a bit)(good news; based on my experience, that’s a temporary side-effect), at the moment, there is a sensation that I’m in “Mad Max: The Sit-com.” Sure, from your perspective, I’m in a horrible, shitty situation (and I am, make no mistake; I won’t deny that for a second), but, at the same time, you people don’t know how great it feels to race across the desert at 200 miles per hour, and you’ll never know how great lady fingers are. Yes, that was a bad cannibalism joke (NOTE TO SELF: include more cannibalism references, especially as it pertains to squid biology). There will be more cannibalism jokes. And bad language (if ever there was a time to creatively use the word “fuck,” it’s after you hear the words “Stave IV”)  If those things offend you, I apologize, but life down here is not for the faint of heart.

Speaking of cannibalism, swearing, and the faint of heart, I was chided a few months ago by my step-mother for relying on shock value in my writing. Which is a little odd, since she pointed out that the original fairy tales told to children were the stuff of nightmares, and they were told to children not to inspire them or entertain, but to prepare them. I see myself in the same light; I’m just your glow-in-the-dark tour guide to the depths, and I’ll do my best to impart all the stuff I wish I’d known at the beginning. Or, given there’s a solid chance I’ll die in the near-future, I’ll leave a record behind of what not to do. Perspective and context are everything in the depths. And, when I talk about you being a future cancer patient, that’s not me being emo or dark, that’s just a basic, unfortunate truth. Even though I’m far from expert, I do have a little bit of a formal background in molecular biology and physiology; and, if you live long enough, you will accumulate enough cellular damage in one cell for it go rogue (and then you have cancer). That’s dark and depressing, but it’s an unfortunate truth about how our biology is set up. If we were intelligently designed by a grand creator, we weren’t designed very well.

And if my numbering system seems macabre, well, that’s all perspective. Part of that is to help me keep track of my numerous appointments, infusions, and chemo treatments. The other part is somewhat darker; median life expectancy for glioblastoma stage IV patients is 14 months . Obviously, my new life goal is to go for the record in terms of survival, but at the moment, the number to beat is 426 days (the ultimate goal 1825 days; if you go that long without a recurrence, you’re considered “cured”)(not exactly, but if you make it that long, the odds of a recurrence are about the same as brain cancer occurrence in the general population). This is my way of keeping score against the disease.

I woke up this morning, which, in retrospect was a tactical mistake. The biggest, most-noticeable side-effect of the Captain America serum is severe fatigue and muscle pain (for me, anyway), and the nastiest, Keith Richards-level hangovers imaginable. (which, I suppose, is my comeuppance for experimenting with dangerous, unproven substances instead something tamer and safer, like heroin). My mom is freaking out about this, and I’m not much happier, but desperate times do call for desperate measures (and, hey, it’s been very successful over the past few months). But, good news for you guys (or bad, depending on how you look at it), since my new schtick - when I’m feeling miserable - is to sit at the keyboard and let the blood flow into it, you’ll start seeing increased writing output as I feel worse. I’m almost hopeful that I’ll get a terminal diagnosis (I will, eventually; we all will, eventually) just to see what my twisted mind would write (again, I’m a very, very strange person).

Which brings me to the point of this post; when you get cancer, you’re going to be asked/required to undergo a lot of unpleasant, painful, horrible procedures and medicines. Yes, you will have to inject toxic, dangerous substances into your body. You might be flash-fried (see the archives for my entries while I was in radiation treatment if you’re curious about that). Strangers will cut out pieces of you. My advice, based on the last 8 weeks is, just do it. Pop every pill you’re prescribed, get strapped down and nuked, ask the chemo nurses if you can get a margarita while you’re in the chemo chair. I’m not going to lie; it’s going to be miserable, but you do it, because it beats the alternatives. Speaking of the kind of misery you can expect, there’s a very old-school cancer treatment axiom that states that anything that makes the patient stronger, makes the cancer stronger, too (this is reductive, but biologically accurate). Modern cancer treatment has a much lighter-touch than the things you see in the Lifetime TV movies on the subject, but there are still a lot of patients in the waiting room that look like Holocaust survivors. Again, I’d advise you to wade in and join them; conventional cancer treatments are like democracy, empirical science, or capitalism - the only thing to recommend them is that they’re slightly better than the other systems we’ve tried over the centuries (and even then, there’s no guarantees, which is a very, very scary feeling). Don’t get squirrelly and start overexerting what little agency you have left by playing around with your pills or testing the limits of the doctor’s orders/recommendations. I’ve heard of patients who try skipping their zofran, which puzzled me - when you’re in chemo, this is the drug that prevents nausea and puking, and there are very few side effects. Which is not to say that you should mindlessly accept everything as it happens; bring up concerns, issues, and problems with your medical team, but I’d say that once you receive your marching orders, embrace them. Again, as of yesterday, there were no detectable growths or tumors or metastasis, which is great, but I was also a model patient for the last eight weeks. But that’s just me; I have a long ways to go, yet; and there’s still a frighteningly high chance this could all go to hell tomorrow. There’s a distinct chance of that one, since I have to go see Radiation Oncologist tomorrow afternoon to confirm my brains haven’t melted (again, you think I’m joking, look up “necrosis” - it’s a major risk/side-effect of radiation treatment).

ANYWAY… WEIGHT: 213 lb (as of yesterday, anyway) CONCENTRATION: Not bad, I’m still making calls and wading through paperwork, but I’m definitely not at 100%. APPETITE: Not great. I’m eating and I’m hungry now, but starting off the day with a double-dose of Temodar and Warlock juice (which was yesterday, but the side-effects drag on for about 48 hours after the injection) definitely put a dent in my appetite (thank Great Kraken for Zofran). ACTIVITY LEVEL: Bad. I’m exhausted (fatigue is another chemo side-effect I’m well-acquainted with) and just being upright is not fun. SLEEP QUALITY: Excellent. I slept nine hours straight, which is probably why I woke up feeling like Alice Cooper’s liver (another tip for cancer patients, when you’re on chemo, hydrate like a marathon runner; which means getting up once or twice in the night for a glass of water). COORDINATION/DEXTERITY: A bit off, although, as Mom pointed out, hemiparesis is a side-effect of Temodar (it’s a side-effect of the surgery and radiation, too, so there’s plenty of suspects). MEMORY: Not too bad, although I haven’t had any tasks that required extensive memory use today. PHYSICAL: I started the day off miserably - physically speaking - and have slowly improved over the course of the day. I’m still trying to cut back on my Tylenol and caffeine usage (at the recommendation of my medical team), but you’d better believe it’s taking a lot of willpower not to relapse (it helps that the Tylenol and coffee are over there, in the kitchen, and right now I’m too tired to walk that far). SIDE EFFECTS: Fatigue, muscle pain, and hang-over/flu symptoms, but those are par for the course at this point. Good news, if this plays out like the other injections, I can look forward to some really freaky and intense dreams in the next day or two.  

[thorne93]

Lost and Found (Part 8)

Prompt: Imagine finding a lost dog, but it’s not just anyone’s lost dog. Who will show up at your door to claim the pup?

Warnings: maybe language, lost dog, dash of angst  

Word Count: 2525

Note: My precious doggie went missing on 6/10 and no one has spotted her or turned her in to the local shelters or anything. I miss her so much, but it inspired this fic. Texts are in italics. Thanks to my darling beta @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ (I’m sorry for this part)

Tags: @amarvelouswritings​ @blackwidow-romanoff​ @cocosierra94​ @firstgal34​ @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @sebstan01 @camigt1999 @elleatrixlestrange​ @bittersweetunicorm @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You decided to stay friends with Sebastian, and when the time was right, he would ask you out, and if he never did, then you guess it wasn’t meant to be. But you weren’t about to throw away the carefree relationship you had with him.

 The following week, you didn’t hang out as much because you needed to focus on work and you spent some early mornings and late nights there while Sebastian did the same with filming. You respected each other’s responsibilities, promising to hang out as soon as you were both free.

 But when Friday night came, it was just you, some take out and some Netflix. Nothing wrong with that, until a loud banging noise came at the door.

“Y/N, open up! It’s me!” Seb shouted through the door frantically.

 You ran over and let him and Spinee in.

 “Hey, what--” That’s all you got out before he pushed past you, pushed you inside, and slammed the door shut and locked it.

 “Can I crash here for a while?” he suddenly asked, out of breath and looking disheveled.

 “What? Uh...Sure...Yeah. What’s wrong with your place? Not that I mind, but...?” You gestured vaguely, hoping he understood.

 “Uh, nothing. I just need a place to stay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to turn.”

 “No, that’s cool, just...Yeah, no it’s fine. My couch is hella uncomfortable though,” you reminded.

 “I don’t care.”

 “Alright, suit yourself. You hungry? I just got takeout but if you need something we can run out.”

 “Nah, I already ate, thanks though. What are you up to?” he wondered as he let Spinee off his leash to roam free.

 “Honestly? Watching you.”

 “What?” he questioned, his face screwing up as if you were stalking him.

 “Not like that, genius. I was watching Once Upon A Time.”

 “Oh! Right.” He laughed and sat down with you. “I loved filming this,” he noted as he sat down and propped his feet up on your coffee table, something he’d done several times.

 “Yeah? I loved you in it. Full disclosure, you as the Mad Hatter. Oh man, I love it. I’m obsessed with all things Alice In Wonderland. So when you came on the screen, I about screamed.”

 He laughed as a twinkle hit his eye. “You never have told me what you have seen me in.”

 You shrugged. “I didn’t want you to think I just knew you as Bucky Barnes or Jefferson,” you informed.

 “I don’t. I know you know me from my characters. So, I’m curious, who all have you seen?”

 “Oh God,” you said, trying to wrack your brain. “Well, all of the Bucky parts, Jefferson, Lance Tucker--”

 He cut you off with a loud laugh and clap. “So you’ve seen my ass!”

 You suddenly remembered what the hell he was talking about. “Oh, yeah. I guess I have. Hah! What do you know?”

 “What do you think of it?”

 “Of your ass?” you questioned, laughing.

 “Yeah. Come on, scale it from 1 to 10.”

 “You’re a complete idiot,” you joked.

 “Please? Humor me.”

 “Fine. An 8.”

 “8? What’s wrong with it?”

 “Nothing? I just...I’m not an ass girl.”

 “Oh? What are you?”

 “Chests, all the way. Then arms.”

 He laughed. “Okay, fair enough. So, what else?”

 “Well, fun fact, the first movie I ever saw you in was the Covenant.”

 “Oh, Jesus, that’s so old, man.”

 “Yeah, it is. But I loved it. I hated you though.”

 “My character or the acting?”

 “Your character. Your acting was fine. In fact, it was so good, I hated you for a few years.”

 “What?! Why?” he demanded.

 “Because you were such a spoiled dick in that movie. You played it so well, I thought, ‘I bet he’s like that in real life.’”

 “And were you right?” he wondered, a serious tone falling over him as the air seemed to change from joking to electrified. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees as he gazed at you, that same magical feeling washing over you.

 “No,” you answered honestly.

 “Good.”

 “Yeah, I saw you in a few other roles and warmed up to you.”

 “Well thank God for that,” he quietly said. “You know,” he started, pulling back and breaking the moment again, “you told me once you had a lot of nerdy stuff, but I’ve never seen it.”

 “And it’s going to stay that way,” you said adamantly.

 “Aww, don’t be like that. Come on, show me. I wanna know just how deep this nerdom goes for you.”

 “Seriously? Why?”

 “So I can fuck with you about it, why else?”

 You rolled your eyes and stood up. “Come on.”

 “Yes!” he cheered as he got up to walk behind you.

 “90% of it is in my bedroom,” you informed as you flicked on the light to expose a few Winter Soldier posters, a Captain America poster, a Spiderman poster, several figurines of him and other Marvel characters, Iron Man sheets and comforter, a few Star Wars objects, and your wall of treasured movies. “So here it is, the cave of nerdiness.”

 “Oh wow. I love it.”

 “Thanks,” you said sarcastically as he walked in and examined everything.

 “No, I mean it. I mean, a lot of this pays my bills. I love when fans get into shit. I mean, I’m a fanboy myself over a lot of this stuff. It’s nice to know other people like it too.”

 You smiled sweetly at him. “Well thanks.”

 “Do you ever cosplay?”

 You laughed abruptly. “No, not any more. I did once or twice like six years ago, but I’m too busy now.”

 “I should take you to a con, you could dress up then.”

 “That would be fun,” you commented.

 “Let me see the rest!” he requested excitedly. You laughed and took his hand and went in your office, where your smaller, more prized possessions lied. It wasn’t much, but it was the more meaningful collection. “This is just...so you,” he informed as he turned and faced you, a dazzling smile on his face. That would never cease to take your breath away.

 “Is that a good thing or…?”

 “Yeah, absolutely. You’re not afraid to be you. Ya know? I know so many people, women mainly, who don’t...They just blend into the crowd. You go in people’s homes and it’s all the same shit. Same neutral colors. Same movies on the wall. Same boring, abstract painting. Everyone is so afraid to be bold. Not you. You don’t dress like a CEO, but that’s okay because it’s your fucking business. Your apartment isn’t boring. When you walk in, it’s a true reflection of you, your interests…It’s refreshing to meet someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves.”

 You looked around the office, shrugging. “I don't know. My parents never raised me to be afraid of anything. My mom told me I could do anything. She believed in me when pretty much no one else did. She is always unapologetically herself, so I suppose I get that from her too. My dad too. They never try to prove themselves to anyone. I guess because my mom’s motto was always ‘You only have yourself to depend on’.”

 “Isn’t that the truth,” he murmured as he gazed around the room.  

 ------------------

 Working out sleeping arrangements was...interesting.

 Seb slept on the couch the first night but Saturday morning, he was so sore, his neck was so stiff. You massaged him and it made it better but ultimately, you said he could have your bed. He was the guest, after all. He protested heavily, stating it was your house and the man should always let the lady have the bed. You told him this wasn’t the 1600’s and he should just take the goddamn bed. Knowing you were more stubborn than him, he obliged. Then, Sunday came around and you were in the situation he was in. You felt like a pretzel and he offered to return the favor of a massage. He wasn’t half bad, especially after you soaked in a lavender bath and he went to work on you just after that. But, you didn’t want either of you to suffer so you offered to sleep in the same bed. He promised to be a perfect gentleman and you prayed he would break that promise.

 Going to sleep next to him was amazing, just as waking up with him was. Sometimes he opted for shirt and boxers, other times he was in just pajama pants, other times it was just boxers. You loved just about every look on him, and meanwhile you slept in shorts and a t-shirt as always. Once or twice you woke up to his arm around you. You didn’t tell him or alert him, because you didn’t want it to be weird but you absolutely loved the feeling of it.

 So maybe being platonic with Seb wasn’t awful….but it did torture you. He was a great friend, sure. But you still had that gnawing of wanting more. You wanted the sweet moments to blossom into passion.

 But it was still fun. You cooked for him, showing off your cooking skills and he was highly impressed. You went shopping together, spent the day out, then at night, you played video games together, laughing, sharing junk food, and competing against each other. A few times at night, once he got back to your apartment and dinner was done, you flopped down together, ate, and he would hold your hand or cuddle you as you laid down to watch something. Then, often times, you lay awake in the dark together just talking, discussing deep topics.

 Living with him was blissful. It’d only been three weeks but he was an amazing roommate and never let anything get too dirty or untidy. He picked up after himself and Spinee. You shared the chores. You were practically a married couple. You were worried you would get on each other’s nerves but it never happened.

 In fact, he was your ray of sunshine when you got home. He went out of his way to make sure you were happy, and you for him. After a long day of shooting, you would rub his feet, get him popcorn, open a beer for him. You were happy to do it and he repaid the favor. He would massage your back after a shitty day, offer to cook, make the bed, or draw you a super frilly bath. But the best day, was when you came home from from a super terrible day.

 “Ugh, fuck,” you had groaned, dropping your purse and heading straight to the kitchen to start dinner.

 “What’s up?” he asked, looking up from his phone on the couch.

 “A shitty day. First, Brad forgot a board meeting so I had to run to it a few blocks over, fifteen minutes late. I’m CEO, that shit can’t happen. Then we had a disaster recovery situation go all wrong with one of the big clients so I spent the greater part of the day dealing with them. I noticed we’re losing about $10,000 a month somewhere so I’m trying to work with the finance team to track that down…” you ranted while you grabbed the veggies and meat to make fajitas.

 But as soon as you placed them on the counter, ready to start cutting, Sebastian was off the couch and hitting play on the stereo, and turning it up. Suddenly one of your absolute faves came over the speakers around your apartment -- Call Me Unreliable. He swept up and grabbed your hand and wrapped his arm around your waist.

 You squealed as you laughed.

 “Seb, what are you doing?!” you had demanded through a chuckle.

 He had ignored you and began to sing along as he grinned, dancing you around the kitchen.

 “Seb!” you said again. “I have to make dinner.”

 “It can wait,” he said as he twirled you out.

 “But--”

 “Shush and just dance with me, okay?” he had ordered gently. He pulled you into his arms, so that your cheek was on his shoulder and he began swaying slowly. You could feel his heartbeat and immediately your day was perfect.

 Of course, Ida didn’t believe you when you said nothing was going on romantically, considering he was sleeping in your bed and living with you. But as much as you wanted it, no, he hadn’t made a move.

 For her, on the other hand, Chris and her were constantly in communication. They were actually dating. He had kissed her at least. She took about an hour telling you all about the detail. While you were thrilled for her, you felt a pang of jealousy as well.

 Having Sebastian in your life really was a blessing. He made your bad days amazing, made your good days perfect, and you couldn’t wait to get home to see him. You couldn’t wait to lie next to him at night. Even your employees had noticed a difference in you, commenting on a glow you’d been giving off. It had dawned on you at some time while he was living with you that he gave you a new purpose in life. Before him, all you had was your work. Ever since you could remember it had been work, work, work. As a child, you pushed yourself to get the best grades, as a teenager you shut out much of a social life to prepare for college, you worked extra hard and diligently to get into a good college, and again you sacrificed many things just to make sure your education and future were secured. When you finally got the jobs you thought you wanted, you worked overtime, went above and beyond, and you do it now with your company. Recently you’d taken some time off and worked from home a little more often now that Seb was around, but before that, it was work from sun up to sun down and then some. You thought you were happy that way, being a workaholic, but Sebastian had shown you there was so much more to life than driving your mental and physical self into the ground to get good numbers. He showed you there was time to stop and smell the roses, there was time to sit and just take in your surroundings, there was time to just be happy. Talking Spinee on walks in the park, going to get a coffee, making brunch on Saturday, these were things you weren’t exactly used to. Often times, Seb had to remind you to just chill out. He could tell you got nervous when you got too far away from work or when you were checking your email on your phone constantly. He eased your worries and would remind you that the company would be fine and would encourage you to just relax. He was making you feel great inside and out, finally taking time for yourself, finally letting you see just how much there was to life.

 You were living in a dream….until the nightmare came, turning your world upside down.

[rowan-buzzard-whitethorn]

Tag-a-palooza

Let’s play “answer all the tags at once”! This is hella long and thank you so much to all the people that tagged me I love you guys!!

 @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks��

Bianca darling tagged me for these:

1. What is a book you have that has sentimental value to you?

Jane Eyre. It was one of the first classics I read and it made me feel all the special feelings

2. Is there a scent that reminds you of something nice?

Honeysuckle. The house I grew up in had three big honeysuckle vines and I would always go out and eat the nectar.

3. Who would you choose to be stuck in a lift with for 24h (real life person or fictional character)?

Just give me one of my daddies I’m here for this trope. Right now I’m feeling Fenrys real hard. (I mean, I want him to be real hard... okay I’m getting off topic, focus sam)

4. Do you have a lucky item?

Not that I can think of!

5. What would you order if you went to a restaurant right now?

Mmmmmm I really want some enchiladas right now.

6. What’s the most beautiful book you own?

I have a book of African art and I love it a lot

7. Walk on the beach or hike in the mountains?

HIKE!

8. What’s next on your TBR?

An Ember in the Ashes, Luna is freaking out about it

9. Favourite poem?

GOBLIN MARKET, CHRISTINA ROSSETTI. LIKE REAL HARD.

10. Who are 5 people you’d invite to dinner (real people, either dead or alive)?

Oh man I don’t know, I’m really bad at these questions. I’d sit down with a ton of different historical people so that I could learn what stuff was actually like

11. Who’s your favourite person who shares your name?

Ooooo this is a good question...even though I can’t think of anyone?? I like Samantha Bee? 

These I got tagged by my sweet belgian pastry @readinglikewildfire, thank you dear :D

1. Do you have any piercings or tattoos, what are they?

Well I used to have/ have tried a bunch of piercings. I had several cartilage, tried industrial and hated it, and I loved my nose ring, but then I had to take them all out for nursing :(((( I also have two tats so far, one off of a bible verse and the other is a Fibonacci spiral 

2. Who is your style icon?

I don’t have one! Anybody that looks like a grungy hipster hobo really

3. Are you a night shower or a morning shower person?

Morning! hate going to bed with wet hair

4. What do you study at school if you are at school? If you’re not at school what do you do instead?

International studies for the first degree, nursing for the second!

5. Do you speak multiple languages? What are they?

lol no, for my first degree I had to take a language and I took french but I dont remember shit.

6. What do you like most about where you live?

My family living here/ the food. Thats about it lol

7. Favorite piece of jewelry, why?

Hmmmm... I don’t wear too much jewelry, I have a bunch but I dont wear it often lol

8.  Whats one random fact about yourself?

I’m answering all these sitting on my back patio in my swimsuit!

9. TOG or ACOTAR?

TOG for sure!

10. Do you like fantasy books with a lot of romance or does it not really matter to you?

Yeah I do. I mean, I would say that I don’t mind if it doesn’t but the majority of the ones i’ve read have romance. I’m ashamed. lol

11. Favorite color!

I like blue, green, and purple!

These I got tagged by @fiery-feyre, thanks buddy!!!!

Are narwhals the Jedi or Unicorns of the sea to you?

I... love this question?? Totally the unicorns

Cats or dogs?

Both equally!!

Favorite fruit?

Peaches! or pears!

Favorite TV show?

I can’t pick!! Stranger things, peaky blinders, sense8, friends, etc

Headphones or earbuds?

Buds if I can find ones that fit in my ear

Favorite animal?

Elephant!

Favorite Disney song? 

The Circle of Life! You better believe I “know” all the words

Favorite cartoon from your childhood?

I liked them all! Hey Arnold, old spongebob, I loved Angry Beavers. Anyone remember that show?? lol 

Apple or Android?

Android! I say, as I type on a mac. But even it it annoying me lately.

PlayStation or Xbox?

PLAYSTATION

Do you like trains or planes better?

I like trains but I haven’t ridden one in forever!

Tagged by @seeliequeenofprythian, thank you!

Author you feel thinks the most like you?

Hmmm... I don’t know! I mean SJM and I probably think alike a little bit

Favorite emotion?

Bliss!

Favorite minor character?

Fenrys! 

Superhero (DC/Marvel) that you relate to the most?

Captain America!

What bizarre eye color would you want to have?

bright green! I mean... that’s not bizarre but you know

Favorite IRL person?

I have too many! My mom, my friends, my sisters- you know, sometimes... lol

Which language really calls to you?

French!

Sweet or savory?

Sweet! 

Innocent cinnamon roll character or complex tragic character?

Complex tragic character

What’s your favorite expression to make?

Where my eyes go different directions! I have no control over which way they go but it’s fun lol

Hogwarts house?

Gryffindor!

Tagged by the wifey Luna @lronteeth

1) Which event in history you’d want to witness if you could time travel?

hmmm... idk about event, but I would love to see all the empires in their prime. Oh and the library of alexandria. Stuff like that

2) How did you meet your best friend?

6th grade, we actually met in the cafeteria but I dont even remember it. We were assigned seats next to each other in class.

3) If you can be invisible for a day, what would you do?

This is such a trap question lol. Like, we all want to say that we would just enjoy our alone time or whatever but if invisibility lasted any longer than a day, if that long, I’m totally robbing the bank and so are you.

4) Your first kiss story

WHEN I HAVE ONE YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON I TELL

5) Most embarrassing memory

probably when I pooped at a friends house and there was no toilet paper and I tried to sneak out and her whole family was out there and her mom was like “hey... wasn’t that bathroom out of tp? and you were in there for a while lol” which, looking back, was a total bitch move of her.

6) Best 3 books you’ve read this year

SIx of Crows, Queen of Shadows, The strange and beautiful sorrows of ava lavender (wait... was that this year?)

7) Worst 3 books you’ve read this year

Shatter Me series. Whoop there it is.

8) Make your basketball team out of book characters

Dude I just want all my daddies on one team, can you imagine?

9) Book trope you hate

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS MUST BE SECRETLY IN LOVE. Effing hate that trope.

10) Describe your style

Imagine Free People style but like, on a target budget. Then throw in a lack of self confidence and we’re there.

MY QUESTIONS! Let’s pick super random ones. Answer if you feel like it: @its-suriel @itsawriter @cassiancalore @dr-woodsprite!!

1. Root-beer: good or gross?

2. Pineapple on pizza: genius or madness?

3. Leader or follower?

3. Most overrated book character?

4. What is your favorite sound?

5. What got you in the most trouble as a kid?

6. If you had to pick a different name for yourself what would it be?

7. What show or movie has a family most similar to your own?

8. What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

9. What is a random thing you judge people for?

10. Favorite accent?

11. Worst movie you’ve ever seen?

[universeinform-blog]

Hijab in Sports: How Muslim Women Athletes Are Fighting for Acceptance

New Post has been published on https://universeinform.com/2017/03/27/hijab-in-sports-how-muslim-women-athletes-are-fighting-for-acceptance/

Hijab in Sports: How Muslim Women Athletes Are Fighting for Acceptance

In 2016, Ibtihaj Muhammad became the first Muslim girl athlete competing for The united states to wear the hijab during the Rio Olympics. As one of the maximum-pointed out Olympians in a set that blanketed names like Michael Phelps and Simone Biles, she did her satisfactory to deflect the hyper-focus on her faith or what she wears at the same time as nonetheless competing on a world-elegance degree. Instead,

Muhammad used her platform and voice to train as she confirmed grace and humility on the most important athletic stage inside the global, making records along the way by means of becoming the primary Muslim-American to stand on a podium on the Olympics, prevailing a bronze.

Even though she’d take home a medal, her fortitude to stay real her to herself has led to a defining possibility – to help normalize what being Muslim seems like. Much less than a yr after competing in Rio, some view Muhammad as a catalyst for Muslim girls athletes, that the eye the media paid to her all through the Olympics (now not to say a market estimated to be really worth $5 trillion in underneath five years) is a big purpose why Nike these days announced plans to debut a “Pro-Hijab” for Muslim women who compete. Muhammad, who has her personal modest fashion line, Louella, isn’t involved in the Nike campaign, but her impact is simple.

Muhammad started out competing in fencing when she becomes 13 years antique, whilst her dad and mom found it to be a suitable game because of the ability to wear the hijab throughout a competition. She did no longer realize other athletes who competed in the hijab, and for that reason, she knows the significance of getting someone who represents you. “It is usually tough while you do not see someone excelling in something that you may have desires or aspirations to take part in or excel at. It’s tough to look yourself in that area,” she says

Hajar Abulfazl, who captained the Countrywide ladies’ Soccer team in Afghanistan, and who wears the hijab says Muhammad’s impact “made an international effect competing and winning in Olympics for The USA,” adding, “She represents a sturdy and smart athlete who has the commitment to her religion and way of life. Her phrases and pics educate people around the arena who accept as true with the vintage stereotype approximately the hijab and that Muslim girls are weak.”

Sports Injuries: Sometimes, the Most Difficult Thing To Do Is Stop Moving

There are some individuals who lead incredibly sedentary existence. They’re less lively by using nature. This doesn’t imply They are bad, however, as even a sedentary person can get in a few form of exercise (and those operate at distinctive energy levels).CBS sports march madness

Then again, there are the ones people who are energetic by nature. They exercise session, spend time exterior, or in any other case do something physically active daily. Additionally, they push themselves to assignment their physical limits. Unavoidably, this effects in some shape of exhaustion, stress, or even injury. The hardest element? Letting themselves heal.

Healing Requires Relaxation

Now, we’ve all been there. I can’t inform you how in many instances I have been injured in education or opposition, and it is very hard to just take it easy after the fact (unless it hurts an excessive amount of to move, besides). I have heard countless memories of, “I suppose I commenced running on my sprained ankle too soon” or, “I understand I have a pulled muscle, however, I just had to go online last weekend.”

With a purpose to heal properly, you need to Relaxation, however, This doesn’t imply 0 physical pastimes. Move for a stroll rather than a run. Elevate lighter weights or keep on with frame weight physical activities. Perform a little mild to mild stretching, or yoga. There are tremendous many things you may do without straining a damage.

Recuperation is Electricity

Whilst we p push ourselves to our bodily limits, or maybe do moves we are not used to doing, we harm our muscular tissues. Now, don’t freak out. Your frame does not smash so without problems. That harm is what activates our body to come to be more potent.

Muscle cells respond to harm through basically developing new muscle cells, but now not exactly similar to earlier than. For the reason that muscle cells were not robust enough to deal with the pastime or motion without damage before, they repair stronger, with more muscle cells (or extra powerful contraction of muscle cells).

You realize that point you have been sore after a weightlifting consultation? That soreness is a sign of straining muscle groups, and with a few exceptions, a sign of these muscle groups getting more potent. After some Rest, what do you notice after your subsequent exercising? You feel more potent, don’t you? Your stamina may additionally even be better. Giving your body time to restore will make you more potent ultimately.

Are you Harm or Injured

An easy query pulled from a football movie… In fact, this can appear a silly query, but there’s a pretty massive difference. Constructing back up after pain or slight stress isn’t the same as coming returned after an outright injury. In case you’re sore, you can usually take it smooth for an afternoon or two, or simply tone down the interest. In case you’re injured, it’s going to take a lot greater within the way of Relaxation to get you back to combating shape (without re-injuring yourself).

As with most (if not all) of my different discussions, I would like to factor out that your frame is designed to heal itself, whether or not from contamination or damage. While a specific movement hurts, it is your body’s way of telling you now not to do this, at least for some time. Our trouble is spotting what our body is trying to inform us. Every so often, we simply need a touch assist.

Women’s Beauty Is An Indescribable Subject

How do you measure a ladies’ splendor? By her man or woman, Through her career, By using her desires or By using her looks? Each has its significance and each element is taken into consideration. It is the case with men too. They’re judged or witnessed Through their breeding, paintings and their person. beauty is something that comes from inside your body. Its miles related with the soul that God has formed inner us Some enhancers from outdoor can enlarge them however the actual thing remains interior and simplest a special soul can ooze that out and spread it in the international.

A few radiate happiness of their smiles. Their smile is so stunning that eases the upset person and feels elated and cozy. Their air of secrecy is so extraordinary and soothing that it calms the burning soul and sends peace within. We make such friends for the lifetime and in our fields, those operating angels assist in our difficulties. We have our dad and mom, our delivery givers whose air of mystery portrays eternal peace and love.

women love from their hearts. I’m stressing at the feminine thing here because They may be frequently underrated. They wish you the pleasant of the whole lot. In case you need a sworn statement, observe your mother, your spouse, your daughter, or your girlfriend. Whenever you cry, they sit beside you, offer silent prayers, and shed tears to provide solace. “the whole thing will be all proper. I will lay my existence for you my expensive. You do no longer need to fear.”After these, who might now not assume that he has nevertheless something left inner? Finest of the terrific warriors were on their knees while a female brave heart got here to their resource.

Type hearts provide the Greatest friendship.

They will by no means go away their different-half on the needy times and could now not hesitate to destroy the unwell will. A lot has been written on this issue that we are getting quick of phrases we just want to recognize dating with any man or women should stand at the pillars of hope, sacrifice, religion and love.

It isn’t always incorrect to bitch about distances. We’re however a silly mortal and we need our cherished ones to be close. We need to look them, sense their presence, and feel cherished By their moves. It isn’t and in no way is an awful factor. Whoever It’s miles, must always give a while to the individual looking forward to him or her on the other side of the continent. A person can never be that busy that he cannot spare an unmarried minute to assist you to understand approximately his situation.

Why Muslim Clothes for Women Offend Westerners

The costumes Muslim girls put on in public is an affront to many Western ladies who have the liberty to dress as they want rather than as faith dictates. The concept that girls have to cool their heads and our bodies to prevent them being raped is outrageous to those who have lived largely without worry of one of this factor. With the merging of cultures now taking place and the arrival of women who get dressed in a head and face coverings, they threaten that freedom.Muslim beliefs vs Christian beliefs

Segregation of the sexes is any other affront as that is not a part of the democratic society of the west. While it appears to boil down to adult males not able to manipulate sexual urges and there in all likelihood gang rape of women there’s a well-known worry brewing a few of the women of western international locations.

Many look upon the Muslim head headscarf as a form of terrorism and persecution of ladies. In hot united states of America like Australia,

Our sympathy is going out to the young ladies who are pressured to put on this type of factor that makes them stand out and may be a supply of ridicule and misunderstanding.

The indoctrination and traditions carried with those people whilst they come to a unfastened united states of America does not help. They may be stood over through guys each of their circle of relatives and the prolonged ones as brothers, fathers, uncles or even mothers turn on them in the event that they rebellion against it. While they now live in a cute democratic society They’re in no way a part of it and that puts them at odds with other women.2015 womens world cup groups