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#*christ cmonnnn
inhidingxoxo3637 · 5 months
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if life was perfect there would be a tranquility base hotel + casino film. send post.
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radioisnotdead · 4 months
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hi! i'm rayn! I have a question for lucifer, alastor, charlie, vaggie, angel, husk, and niffty
who's your top 3 favorite people in the hotel?
( let the chaos ensue >:] )
lots of love, rayn 🤍
rayn hi I think I remember you from a different hazbin blog! ^^
Top three? Easy, Charlie, Vaggie anddd Vox
Dear Niffty, Charlie and, I suppose, Husker.
AWWWWW THATS SO SWEETT I LOVE YOU BOTH :D uUMMmm anywayyy i cant choose :c i think its a three-way tie between vagggggieeeee, dad and alastor!
..Okay I'd understand a tie between me and your girlfriend but I am NOT on his level.
You are to Charlie, clearly.
jesus fucking christ can you two shut up for five seconds?? mkay it goes charlie, angel or niffty, and lucifer.
Placed beneath a porn star in a rehabilitation hotel? That is a new low, sir.
At least I'm actually on the list jackass.
At least, instead of craving attention and validation, I don't want to be on it.
FUCKS SAKE SHUT UP. and, al. bad choice of words, "beneath a porn star". kay anyway, charl, husk, niff, boom.
Im not answering that question.
cmonnnn huskk...
No.
ALASTOR AND LUCIFER AND HUSSKKKK :D
Wait whym I on there
I have no clue, genuinely.
Interesting choice of people nif, you sure this isnt a murder list?
its both :)
ah.
cmon huskkk pleaaaasee?
no.
Cheer up, Husker! You can't be the only one not participating, this is quite a fun activity.
fucks sake. if I do it will you all shut up
YES
fine. angel, charlie, niffty.
wwwwho was the first person??
YOU HEARD ME ASSHOLE.
no I dont think I did actually
..I feel kinda left out, I wasn't in any of the lists OR the ask itself.
You were on my list.
Oh shit yeah thanks :D
Kay so whats yours look like?
Uuuuh I don't really know anyone here but I guesssss, Lucifer, Charlie and idk Niffty?
This is fun, can I kill myself again?
Of course you're allergic to slight affection, even when it's not directed towards you, what else could we expect.
Ok, nevermind, can I kill him?
i am so tired of you both.
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weirdcat1213 · 1 year
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volume 9 you say....hmm
i fear for my life to be completely honest
anyway HERE WE GO HERE ARE THE THOUGHTS
chap 1:
-geesus no pls no i dont wanna read anymore
-FLASHBACK TIME :D WIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
-3 days of crying is nothing when youre a trigun fan, am i right people :'D
-no im not fucking suffering cuz while all of that is happening the only thing on his mind is young livio NO IM FINE I SWEAR-
-lmao yeah wolfwood call him out >:D
-"you cant understand how i feel" my brother in christ YOURE SURROUNDED BY ORPHANS
-hmmmmmmmmm i mean im not sure if that applies here but who am i to tell him how he feels, sure buddy. happy for you
-geesus man not the dog, like....WHY THE DOG (i think ik why but still)
-tbh i would also go and ask for an explanation
-nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :c
-ah shit so we're here now oh fuck oh shit okokok cool
-ah yes, sweet bait actually, makes me cry every time
-"once this ark scare is over we'll be living the high life" yeaaaahhhh....about that.....
-YO LEAVE THE ORPHAN ALONE DAMN
-thanks livio :3
chap 2:
-about his age i think hes on his 20s mentally but he looks like hes on his 30s, so hes still an adult but yknow...younger
-oh his eye :0 i love that tiny window between his glasses and his face where you can see his eyes, makes me sad every time
-the coolest mf
-"worse" you say...i wonder who did that to him...
-fuck off, take those fucking tears somewhere else old man
-OOOOOOHHHHH THAT PANEL!!! SO GOOD SO GOOD
-THANKS AGAIN LIVIO (livio's good actions counter: 2 so far) BUT FUCK THAT OLD MAN
chap 3:
-:c
-HES THERE AND HES COMING I PROMISE
-STFU I SWEAR SHUT UP WOLFWOOD PLS JUST ENJOY YOUR STUPID CIGARRETE
-oh ok yeah here we go
-GEESUS MAN, i hope someone kick you ass later
-aw livio noooooo :c
-NAH NO PLS NO BROTHER FIGHT NO NO
-damn
chap 4:
-no that fucking title while theyre bleeding holy crap no stop it nightow stop it
-leave my man alone plsssssssssssssssss
-OH I FUCKING FELT THAT. WOLFWOOD REACHING FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE AND LIVIO SHOOTING AT THE SAME MOMENT. I FELT THAT
-oh thats...thats kinda hot actually (i say while wolfwood fights for his little life)
-i love nightow taking his fucking time. yes sir i will enjoy a page of the vial dropping from his mouth without any dialogue, thank you sir
-PAIN :D
-SHUT UP OLD MAN
-"please survive"................................im gonna need a million years
chap 5:
-VASH BABY WHERE ARE YOU I NEED YOU
-demon....while hes killing his bro.....i have a limit thats all im saying
-ITS CALLED LOVE BITCH
-HE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE HONOR HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS HOME WTF
-STOP TALKING AND KILL HIM MAN CMONNNN
-oh....he looks so pretty tho. likes he came back to life and is surrounded by his servants....damn that goes hard...
-oh yeah, that arm that had no explanation whatsoever. its ok tho, nightow gets a pass
-ah fuck.....hes here...
-yeap, you could say thats a demon ig
chap 6:
-AH YES SAD FLASHBACK IN MENTAL PALACE MAKES ME GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER IM TELLING YA :D
-im sorry
-im jumping through the window idc anymore. poor livio man
-"fortitude".........yeah.....
-yeap that is scary as hell RUN WOLFWOOD GET TF OUTTA THERE
-DONT SMILE LIKE THAT YOU FREAK
-NONONONONONON SHUT UP WOLFWOOD SHUT UP
-STOPPPPPPPPPPPP
-STOPL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE
-DIOS IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH
-orange if you animate this i will punch you but also kiss you in the lips
-i wonder what he means with that bell thats supposed to be tolling. hmmm. maybe its like a "hey come back to reality" kind of alarm thats not sounding
nightow you amazing bastard
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homosapiennns · 2 years
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The convo that goes like this, in a house party :
Emma (leaning on Veneziano, playing with his shirt) : what is the most disgusting sex you had?
Vene : I don’t remember, really
Emma (slurres) : cmonnnn
Vene : okay ah. Mmm. (Drunk thinking) I used mayonnaise as lube once
Emma : Ewww! Disgusting!
Alfred : Vanilla ass. Hear this (Pointing the glass on his hand at them) There was a mechanic. In New Jersey. The year was, 02, no, 07. I had an iphone. They gave me one of the first iPhones, didyakno? I dropped it in the toilet in July that year. Or August.
Emma : AAAND????
Alfred : and, this guy was like, super hot. Super fucking hot. Porn star type of hot. 6’2, six packs, six inches. That’s A LOT of sixes. (Giggles) anyway this guy. Super hot. I wanted to seduce him.
Vene : can you just come to the fucking already?
Alfred : Come. Yeahhh. I’ve come *so* hard. This guy, he had some tools on ‘im. Like screws n shit. I said “LETS USE ‘EM!!!”
Emma (putting her leg on Vene) : but that isn’t disgusting, it’s dangerous.
Alfred : I’m coming to the point. Comin’ (chuckles) we put a pliers on my dick, and a drill deep in my ass. I started bleeding, and the pain was unbearable, but he insisted on fucking me.
Vene : Eww!
Alfred : I said “IM GONNA NUT ON A NUT!” bc that was a part of my fantasy. Ahh, it was great. But then I passed out, and got hospitalized for a few days. But all was worth it.
Vene : that’s all? Just bleeding?
Emma : I find this completely disappointing as well. Tell us better stories you slut! (She has climbed on Vene now)
Alfred, irritated : I collected my rotten ass meat from the floor.
Vene : I’ve found my boyfriend’s headless body in a battlefield.
Alfred : jesus christ dude you win ‘kay. Don’t tell shit like that to me.
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monsterbisexual · 2 years
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when carrie whites mom called periods The Curse Of Blood....so true n also maybe she was onto smth n the only reason i have to go thru it every month cuz im inherently Bad n sinful n guilty </3
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ccrv-7 · 3 years
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i like thinkin abt cc!rainduo bc wowwwwie embarassing parasocial emotional attachment o_O but also. whn people treat them as if theyre a package deal and you HAVE to bring up the other bc one ov them is tgere it pisses me off so bad
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hatsukeii · 4 years
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【Your new boyfriend- Day 1】
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Word count: 6.2k+
【December 25, 2020】
【2:39 am】 Nearing the end of the seemingly indestructible health bar of this stupid resurgent cryo regisvene, Changbin lets out an audible growl, tapping furiously, almost murderously at his phone screen. “Cmonnnn you persistent piece of shit, just bite the dust already like the normal one...” His voice trails off as every drip of focus is directed back on his game. 
“Which one do you think it is this time Seungmin?” Jisung taunts from the kitchen of the shared apartment, watching the coffee drip into his cup from the ancient coffee machine at a snail’s pace (He had been insisting on having Changbin get a new one for the past three, four months but the latter had been persistent to keep it instead of “wasting money on a new one”). Seungmin yells from inside his room, the sound of keyboard clicking along with the occasional growling and mumbling exposing what he was doing- League of Legends. “You think I would know? I don’t even know the game he’s playing.” “He’s been at it for the past three days Seungmin, it’s obviously the same ice thing he won’t shut up about.” Minho deadpans, tenderly lowering the three cats in his arms onto the couch. “Now my babies, don’t touch the madman next to you, or I’m going to have to do the dishes tonight, kay? He’s our main dishwasher, let’s not try anything funny.” The three cats collectively look up at their owner as he cooes softly at the felines. With the last of his party completely obliterated, Changbin throws his phone across the couch, startling the cats as they jump off hastily, earning a piercing glare from Minho. “We’ll talk about this later, Seo Changbin.” “My god, I give up, I’ll just get Chan hyung to do it for me tomorrow.” What even went through Mihoyo headquarters when they created this boss? Did the development department just decide to throw everything into one giant boss fight? 
As he wallows in defeat, his ringtone blares where it sadly lies from being thrown across the couch, the annoying “We just got a letter!” song from Blue’s Clues (He had a feeling that the annoying children’s song would aid in motivating him to actually pick the phone up instead of ignoring people then texting them out of sluggishness) playing on loop the longer he chooses not to answer. “Will you just shut up?” Aggressively snatching his phone, he takes a quick glance at the caller, before picking up. “(Y/n), what do you wan-” 
A few audible sniffles can be heard from the other side of the line. 
“Changbinnie, he cheated on me.” 
Changbin deadpans, not sure he’s hearing things right.
“Hello? Binnie?”
The words hitting him like a truck, he bolts up from where he once sat, hand gripping the phone so hard veins were popping.
“That motherfucker did what?”
His voice rings clear throughout the unit, both Jisung and Minho flinching at the sudden burst of noise. “Jesus Christ keep it down Changbin, the whole apartment complex can hear your annoying voice.” Minho complains, picking up one of his dear cats and stroking its ears. “Soonie ah, that idiot’s yell didn’t hurt your ears did it? Aigoo my baby, it’s okay, it was just stupid horse-faced Changbin, it’s okay my baby boo...” Jisung rolls his eyes, taking a sip from his pitch black coffee. Wincing, he sets the mug down, running to the fridge to get creamer. “Changbin hyung, did you get the wrong creamer again? I told you to get the vanilla one, this one’s dairy free!” Changbin lowers his phone, covering the speaker. “Why the fuck are you even drinking coffee at this hour? Go buy your own fucking creamer if you want it so much then!” “I’m broke hyung! Plus the campus convenience store and the supermarket are closed already, use your pea brain!” “Use milk and sugar Jisung! I’m busy!” Returning to the call, he makes his way into his room, not wanting to have to deal with the two parasites outside. “Tell me everything (Y/n), oh he’s bruising for a cruising playing with your feelings like that-”
A sob passes through the speaker.
“I was just trying to check on him-”
“Scratch that, I’ll be there in twenty, don’t do anything stupid by yourself.”
Shoving the door of his room out of his way, he storms towards the three refrigerators in the kitchen, the other three people in the unit following him in sight (Seungmin heard the commotion and decided to come out of his man cave for once to assess the situation). He pushes Jisung to the side, pulling open the doors to the biggest one. “Soju... soju... soju... there it is.” He untangles the biggest plastic bag he can find from the huge bag on top of the fridge (Minho seems to collect plastic bags at this point, it’s getting annoying) and shoves just about all the bottles of soju he can fit into the flimsy piece of plastic. Moving on to the next fridge, he slams the previous one close, startling Jisung. “Hyung, are you okay?” Changbin ignores him, scrambling to grab the two family sized tubs of ice cream. “Hyung, that’s the last of our ice cream-” Yet again ignoring Jisung’s complaint, he makes his way to the pantry, throwing in the most tooth rottingly sweet candies he can find, a few bags of those honey butter chips and all of Jisung’s cup ramens. In the past couple of minutes, Seungmin had picked up on the situation on hand. He whisper yells at Jisung, making weird gestures to catch his attention. Once his eyes meet Jisungs’s, he frantically jerks his head towards the rooms (It’s like some secret bro code the two have). Jisung picks up on the message, shutting up and shuffling to his room along with Seungmin, before locking their bedroom doors. After his expedition in the kitchen, Changbin goes back to his room, just to grab a duffel bag to put everything in. He takes his switch and the dock, his laptop, and throws his phone into the mix (Both Jisung and Minho agree that Changbin needs to stop abusing his phone, Seungmin doesn’t really care). The only one left in the living room watches as he angrily puts his shoes on, and slams the front door just a little too aggressively as he goes. Hearing the front door close, the two younger boys come out of hiding, finally safe from their scarily furious friend. “My cup noodles... Minho hyung my cup noodles....” “Let’s just wait for him to buy them for us again, leave him alone for now.”
【3:00 am】 It’s been exactly 21 minutes since you had called Changbin and he is now furiously knocking at your door because 1) You need moral support, clearly, 2) He didn’t bring all the food and risk getting the life nagged out of him when he goes back for nothing, and 3) Your ex boyfriend’s new chick is about to receive a very explicit call from a very angry person. “Oi (Y/n), it’s Changbin, open up.” From inside, you wrap your Armin futon throw blanket around your tired body, before waddling to the front door to your apartment. Gripping the blanket together with one hand, you twist the doorknob with the other and pull. It’s almost like one of those slot machines you would always see in dramas. You pull the lever with all the might you can muster during this trying time and BAM! You hit the jackpot and an angry Changbin comes into sight. He looks scary, almost. His demeanor could probably kill right now if you didn’t know better. “Come in... yeah come on in....” His hand loosens around the duffel bag, dropping it on the floor while he gets his shoes off. You penguin waddle back to where you were sitting on the couch, picking up the crumpled tissues and throwing them out. “Make yourself at home.” You feel a stare burn into your back as you step off the bin pedal. “I’m here, now tell me everything that happened with this asshole.”
“So what I’m getting from this is that Junwoo fucker said he was going out to get groceries, which was a lie at that time but you didn’t know. He took a suspiciously long time so you, being the paranoid ass person you are, went to check on him, only to see him making out with some hussey that wouldn’t stop making moves on him during that dumb lecture you had in the afternoon, correct?” You nod, tears starting to form again for the fourth- no, was it the fifth? About the fifth time in the past minute or so that you spent explaining the situation. “(Y/n), sweetie, I’m gonna need the name of the hussey.” “No, you’re going to do something stupid.” “I wasn’t asking, give it.” You give Changbin a stink eye, acting like you were completely against whatever he has in mind despite actually being curious to see what he has planned (An angry Changbin is a scary Changbin but a rare one also). “It’s Jimin from the dance team.” His mouth hangs open in disbelief. “No, he did NOT!” You nod solemnly, sniffing.  "He cheated on you for that slut?” “Binnie! That’s rude!” “Oh please, I don’t like to disrespect women but you know that it’s true.” That shuts you up instantly. He’s not wrong, so far she’s been caught up in the middle of way too many relationships to count. She’s pretty much notorious for sleeping with people’s boyfriends now. Horrid, really, she knows what she’s doing and she enjoys it. Changbin practically rips the zipper off his duffel bag and snatches his poor, abused phone, before scrolling through his contacts to find Jimin (He would delete her contact from his phone if he could, really. He’s tried, but she hit on him so hard on campus as a threat that he kept it just to be safe. Quite honestly though, he doesn’t really care now). “Binnie, no-” He puts the call on speaker, his feet tapping at the floor impatiently. “Bitch, you better pick up before I find you and pick it up for you-” 
“Hello?” 
His face lights up when he hears Jimin’s voice from the other side of the line. “Oh yeah hi! Here’s your friendly Changbin reminder that your new boyfriend’s an asshole!” You can almost see the sneer that Jimin has on her face. “Uh, and who are you to say that? Twink.” Your mind doesn’t even let you properly process what she said because Changbin’s already retaliating. “Oh, you know, just from his ex partner he was cheating on, but you can state your arguments if you’d like. Also that wasn’t very nice, calling me a twink, considering you hit on me every day on campus.” Changbin’s aura goes borderline murderous when a chuckle sounds from the speaker. “Oh? Them? He could do better anyways.” “Okay listen here you little slut, I’m gonna be honest with you, because no one ever will. Any guy that says they’re in any way interested in you beyond just using you as a fuck toy, is full of bullshi-” 
You slam your finger onto the big red button before he can say anything more. 
Changbin’s seething with anger, even though he isn’t showing it. You know that because 1) He’s oddly calm in this situation and 2) He just openly called one of the most known people in the college a slut. “Seo Changbin, calm yourself down. Please.” Those were some harsh words he said to Jimin, it was completely out of his usually good natured, well spoken character. He closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths, before grabbing a flimsy white plastic bag out from the duffel bag. He shoots his hand to the bottom, grabbing one of the 15 bottles of soju he brought over. He wrenches open the bottle cap, before chugging half the bottle in one sitting. “How much stuff did you bring?” Changbin really is oddly stable considering he had just gotten called a twink and went off at someone through the phone. “About 15 bottles of soju, two tubs of ice cream, a few bags of those honey butter chips, all the cup ramens in the pantry, and a bunch of those Hi-Chews that I know you love because you keep taking them from me and eating them in class.” He grabs another bottle of soju from the plastic bag, as well as a pack of Hi-Chews. “Drink?” You sulk, taking the green bottle from him while he rips open a pack of candies, popping one in his mouth. “Damn, on Christmas day too, what an ass, Junwoo.” You roll your eyes, taking in a mouthful of alcohol from the bottle. “You’re so stupid Binnie, she’s going to ruin your life because of that stupid call.” “Me? Stupid? The only stupid thing here is you managing to stay with Junwoo for an entire year. I knew he was toxic from the start. Besides, what’s Jimin going to do? She’s got nothing on me. I might as well be the only person that hasn’t sent her nudes or something.” 
It sounds harsh, almost mean, but you know that he’s not lying. Your ex boyfriend was the most toxic, manipulative person you’ve ever been with yet you stayed with him for over a year, it’s unbelievable, really. 
“Can I take a cup ramen?” Changbin doesn’t even spare a glance at you, he’s typing away on his phone (Looks like the nagging has started, one could never expect no complaints after taking all the comfort food from the kitchen). “No, you can’t. I brought all this food because it’s three in the morning and I suddenly want to eat at your house. Of course you can, this is about you, do whatever you want.” You grab one of the cups from the bag, before sluggishly making your way to the kitchen to boil water. Seeing that you left your seat, Changbin empties out the plastic bag, before discarding all the rubbish that you left behind prior to his arrival. Tissues, boxes, chocolate wrappers, everything, he throws them all into the white bag. “That should do.” Ripping open a pack of honey butter chips (Minho needs to chill out about him taking a few packs considering he bulk bought these in boxes. One pack won’t hurt), he takes one, before setting it down and waiting for you to return.
Meanwhile, the remaining three in Changbin’s apartment have just received a reply. “Hey... hey hEY HEY WE GOT A TEXT BACK EVERYONE!” Both Seungmin and Minho gather around Jisung and his phone. “Changbin hyung says he’s not coming back tonight and that he’ll restock the food he took when he’s back, what do we do?” The two young ones look expectantly at Minho, as if he would have any good advice. “I don’t know, should I give him a call-” “Are you mad? He’s going to tear you to shreds hyung, don’t waste your life like that!” Minho sighs in exasperation. “Then we’ll just have to wait for him to be back.” Seungmin and Jisung look to the floor almost guiltily. “He won’t even tell us what happened... how are we supposed to do anything about it?” “You don’t, that’s what you do, you don’t do anything about it until he calms down and tells us about it. Now Seungmin, stop playing your games and Jisung, stop doing solo karaoke and go to sleep.”
【5:58 am】 “This is going to be the first and last night you get to be this unhealthy, we’re using healthy coping mechanisms instead of… whatever the fuck this is.” You look at him, a mouthful of ramen hanging from your food vacuum as you slurp it up loudly (For context, you’ve managed to go through four cup ramens, two bags of chips, a pack of Hi-Chews, and an additional three bottles of soju to wash it all down. The two tubs of ice cream remain untouched in the freezer. In other words, you were binge eating, all while being shit faced drunk). The TV blares from in the front of the living room, the Mario Kart theme playing on loop. Your controller sits on the coffee table, completely unattended as you get busy with eating. “Haaaaah? I need the junk food Binnie, it’s all a part of recovery!” Changbin clicks his tongue, before flicking your forehead. “That’s just a shitty excuse to be unhealthy, we don’t stan that.” Frowning, you snatch a few chips with your chopsticks and shove them in your mouth grumpily. “Now, where were we... ah! Yeah! Prepare for another devastating loss Binnie! You shall not come out victorious!” (Cmon, you really think you could beat Changbin in Mario Kart drunk? Hunny, he was losing on purpose.) He lets out a breathy chuckle, before picking you up bridal style, walking to your room, and throwing you onto your bed. “That’s about enough for now, go to sleep. I already know your hangover tomorrow’s going to be absolutely horrible.” You whine, tossing and turning. “But I don’t wanna go to sleeeeeeep... I wanna win again... I wanna playyyyy... gamess....” And with that your voice trails off. “Idiot, you would just pass out halfway.” He closes the door behind him as he leaves your room, but not before gently releasing the console from your warm, clammy hands. Coming to terms with what he has to do next, Changbin massages his neck when he sees the absolute mess of a living room. “Now, where do we start?” All the homework and study cramming is about to come in handy as he starts to clean up all the rubbish left sitting around. He sets his eyes on your pink blanket. It’s 2°C out, his nose is prickly and red as he sneezes, and he still quickly notices an alcoholic smell wafting out from the pink throw blanket. Reaching over to feel it, the fabric is slightly damp under his touch. “Jesus Christ, you for sure spilled soju over this thing. Tag... tag... tag....” his hand roams around the thick blanket, feeling for a laundry tag. He whips his phone out, searching for a laundry care symbol guide (It’s been a while since he’s done laundry properly. Seungmin is in charge of doing everyone’s laundry since he contributes the least). “40°C water at the highest, tumble dry on low.... alright.” He bunches up the blanket, the fabric hanging to the floor from his arms. Trying to get to the laundry room hurriedly, he almost trips over the soft material, stomping on the floor obnoxiously loud to regain his balance (The neighbours are going to seriously hate him for this). He throws it into the washing machine and slams the compartment door shut. Scanning the room for detergent, he deadpans when he sees where it’s located. “Why would you put it that high up in the shelf? You’re not even that tall-” He tries everything, from standing on his tiptoes, to jumping in order to reach it. All those attempts end in vain, and he resorts to his final trick- climbing on top of the washing machine. “Cmon, just a feeeew more millimeters-” The dust from the top of the cabinet along with the temperature causes him to sneeze profusely, almost losing his balance. But with a hook of his fingers, he manages to push the bottle out, before grabbing it and using the bottle to push another bottle of dettol out. He wrenches open the lids, before clumsily pouring out the needed amounts, but not without spilling it on the floor. Cursing, he quickly sets the washing machine for a one hour cycle. He then grabs a random towel from on top of the machine and wipes the floor now. “I guess it’s squeaky clean now, you did good Changbin, you did good. Go me.” With one job done, he makes his way back to the living room. The main area is so messy that Changbin has to form a proper plan on how to clean everything up with the highest efficiency. He grabs the ramen cups, draining out the soup and throwing them out. The chopsticks clank together when they hit the kitchen sink as he turns the tap on. He grabs a sponge, soaking it in water and squeezing detergent onto it, before scrubbing the chopsticks clean. With the dishwashing done, he staggers his way towards the coffee table. He’s tired. He’s so fucking tired that his eyes are about to betray his mind. His arms are numb and the floor is wobbling from beneath his feet. He sneezes a few more times, sniffling. He sighs, wiping his nose and warming it up with the sleeve of his hoodie. If anyone pushes him with a bit of effort, he’ll probably fall over and pass out, but he absolutely refuses to let you wake up to a messy living room. He makes use of the vibrant Mario Kart podium segment still blaring on the TV to keep himself awake while he works on cleaning everything up. Seeing that the sky has progressed from pitch black to a beautiful, yet dreadful shade of aegean blue, he’s pretty sure he won’t be getting any sleep any time soon.
【7:47 am】 You cough yourself awake to the burning stench of smoke. The world really said “Lol your life is burning and crumbling down” and took it a little too seriously. Fire, fire, fire, what’s the worst that could happen? Fire needs to give itself a vibe check, can’t it see that you don’t have the energy to deal with it right now? You squeeze your brows together and pull your sheets back over your body. If not for the panicked yelling from outside you would’ve stayed in bed and just waited for whatever fire was burning to reach your room. Hearing Changbin’s chain of swears and curses, you shoot up, more worried for him than for yourself. “CHANGBIN!” You get no reply. You’re horrified, probably both from the hangover working its magic at making you more paranoid and sensitive than you already are, and the possibility that the apartment’s going to burn down. You scramble to the kitchen, choking when you reach the hallway. The amount of smokiness in the living room makes it impossible to see anything clearly. One thing is for sure- there is no fire. What there is though, is a very startled Changbin squatting next to a tray of what looks like charcoal. 
“Binnie, what the fuck did you do?” 
Poor boy, he looks like a lost puppy, a small pout evident on his face. “I was trying to make you breakfast, but I think I set the oven to the wrong temperature, turns out it doesn’t take that much heat to toast bread.” Pinching your nose, you take a glance at the oven. “Changbin I- why is it set to 250 degrees?” “I just told you, I don’t think toast needs that much heat!” It’s almost funny how bad he fucked up. You would laugh wholeheartedly if not for the borderline deadly amount of smoke wafting around your apartment. “Changbin, I have a toaster.” “I don’t know how to use it though, it’s too digital and it makes weird noises.” You let out an exasperated sigh (You knew getting a digital toaster was eventually going to lead to some problems), taking the tray out from the oven and discarding the two pieces of what used to be toast. “Binnie, do me a favour and go open up the windows.” Hearing his cue to leave the crime scene, he rushes to the other side of the living room, opening everything up. “It’s been 84 years... fresh air, hello....” You let out a sarcastic chuckle, before throwing out the piece of foil on the tray. You scan your surroundings, everything is in place, the apartment is squeaky clean, your futon is on a drying rack outside on the balcony, and that’s when it hits you. “Changbin, if you tell me you didn’t get any sleep cleaning my place up for me, I will knock you out here and now.” You speed walk towards him faster than Karen walks to the manager, before taking in his features. His eyebags are heavier and darker than usual, his face is pale, his hair is a mess, his eyes focus on nothing in silence. “Seo Changbin!” You snap in front of his face, startling him out of his trancelike state. “Huh? I swear I’m okay, don’t even worry.” His voice is hoarse and nasally, and he sneezes a few times after his statement, sniffling and wiping his nose with his sleeve for the second time this day. You don’t even give him time to move away or protest. Your fingers pinch his ear at the speed of light, before pulling him to your room and practically shoving him onto your bed. “Sleep.” Changbin pouts, curling into a ball. “But I don’t need to sleep! I’m perfectly fine-” “No, you’re not, you almost burned my apartment down messing with the oven tired, sleep.” You don’t wait for a response as you slam the lights off and shut the bedroom door.
【2:23 pm】It’s been about seven hours since you practically forced Changbin to sleep, the ending of the final episode of Death Parade reminding you of the time that has passed. “He’s still not up?” Mumbling to yourself, you creak the door to your room open, being as silent as possible. “Changbin?” No reply. The covers don’t even budge the slightest bit. You are so taking a photo of his sleeping face for future uses. The second you pull your phone out, it starts ringing, the recording of Jisung’s impression of Changbin’s iconic “Yoooooh” blaring through the speakers like a concert (The two of you snuck into one of his music project recording sessions without him knowing, music major things am I right). You throw yourself out of the room, picking the phone up. “Hello-” “(Y/n)!” Dear God it’s Jisung, loud as ever. “Where’s Changbin hyung?” Of course he didn’t tell them anything. “He’s here, asleep, I forced him to sleep.” “Okay, when he wakes up tell him that he owes us everything he took from the pantry, and that he should come home, thanks!” “Wait-” And that little shit hangs up on you just like that. You place your phone onto the coffee table, before going back to check on Changbin. Scratch the idea of a photo, you’ll just do it next time. You kneel down next to your bed, placing your palm on his forehead. “You idiot, thank God you didn’t cook and get me sick along with you.” Being a medical science major, you never overlook anybody’s wellbeing, especially not your best friend’s. When you feel his burning forehead, you almost slap him in his sleep. He’s in for it when he eventually wakes up. Trying your best, you pull the blanket out from underneath him (He fell asleep pretty much straight after you shoved him onto the bed). He stirs, mumbling softly. “Where... where am I...? Who... am... I...? Who are... you?” You scrunch your face up, finally ripping the blanket from underneath him. Working quickly, you throw it over him, before turning on the heat setting for the aircon in your room. Doesn’t look like he’s going to wake up anytime soon, he looks like a sleeping baby. Motionless and oddly talkative and soft. In the meantime, you might as well go read over the old messages with Junwoo and cry a little more.
【4:58 pm】 It’s been another two hours, your eyes are puffy and red from the crying, Changbin still hasn’t woken up yet. You pick up the ramen cup and drag yourself forcefully from the couch to the kitchen, throwing the soup out along with the cup, and reaching up to find the paracetamol and fever relief patches (Which you bought five packs of at a time for a great buy three get two free deal) from the box of first aid and medical essentials. Taking it out of the box, you keep it in your pocket, just in case. You make your way to your room, opening up your cabinet and grabbing your car keys. You shove those into your pocket as well, before peeling off the wrapper of a fever relief patch and sticking that flat on Changbin’s forehead. You throw on a trenchcoat to cover up the fact that you’re wearing a pyjama shirt with tights, get your boots on, and head over to Jisung’s place.
【5:17 pm】“Jisung! Let me in!” You rap at their door until your knuckles hurt and a slightly concerned Minho pulls it open, his three cats following their owner and rubbing their cute little cheeks on your leg. “Oh, it’s you. Come on in, Jisung’s not here, what do you need?” “I just need to grab clothes for Changbin, he won’t stop wiping his nose on his sleeve, it’s gross, and he needs a shower.” “Go ahead.” Shooting Minho a quick thanks, you run into Changbin’s room, rummaging through his drawers and cabinets. For someone with a major obsession with hoodies, he sure doesn’t have many. You randomly grab a pair of sweats, along with a tshirt and the thickest hoodie you can find, before you drop the clothes, letting out a funny sound of embarrassment. “Fuck, Minho!” 
【5:39 pm】It’s warm. It’s really warm, in contrast to how Changbin remembers feeling the last time he was awake. What time even is it? He doesn’t have his phone, and he notices that it’s starting to go dark out, looks about 6pm for the typical Korean winter... and the sound of running water? He kicks the blanket off of him (which he doesn’t remember covering himself with), and is welcomed by an oddly warm room for 2°C weather. Did you manage to throw the blanket over him and turn the heater on at some point when he was asleep? A lump forms at his throat at the thought, a tiny smile threatening to show. The light from the bathroom blinds him temporarily when he opens the bedroom door, and as his eyes adjust to the light, he can see you filling up a bathtub with water. “Oh, you’re awake, just in time.” He’s still dazed from the drowsiness as he staggers a little bit into the bathroom. “I got you a change of clothes, underwear and all, and paracetamol there for your fever.” You’re in your trench coat, the one you wouldn’t shut up about after buying, or so he remembers. “Did you go over to mine to get the clothes?” You let out a breathy chuckle, cupping your cheeks sarcastically. “Oh no! I secretly hide a stash of your clothes and underwear in my house! Get in the bath Binnie, I’ll make dinner outside.” He’s hesitant, but as you close the door behind him he can’t help but be welcomed by the bubbly hot bath in front of him.
【6:00 pm】“Did you take the paracetamol I left in there?” You chuckle a little at the towel hanging around his neck. “You look like one of those hardcore grandpas in animes.” You stir the tiny stone pot in front of you, making sure not to splash the red soup onto your shirt. “Yeah, I took the pill, thanks.” From the corner of your eye, you can see Changbin heading towards the kitchen. “Uh uh uh, stop right there buddy. You are not going anywhere near the kitchen, nope. I know you want to help, but I’m almost done, so just sit your ass down at the coffee table.” He does as you say like an obedient little puppy, sitting down at the wooden table. Putting on a pair of oven mitts, you carefully carry the scorching hot pot and a plastic mat to the table, setting it down while the liquid continues bubbling. “Now you can go in and help me grab the rice and bowls.”  
Changbin once told you that he would never set his eyes on one of your “stupid japanese cartoons” because apparently they're too immature for a 5′6 college student to watch. That’s complete bullshit. He doesn’t even see the kimchi stew drip onto your coffee table because his eyes are glued to Hunter x Hunter which you coaxed him into watching with you. You scoff, mixing the stew into your rice. “Move your spoon Changbin, it’s dripping all over my table.” He snaps out of his trance, hovering his spoon on top of his rice instead. “Poor Ikalgo, all he wanted was to be a squid and have friends....” “Are you going to eat up or not?” You watch as his hand slowly tilts to let the liquid drip into his rice, his eyes not once leaving the tv screen as he mixes it and shoves a spoonful into his mouth. “Ikalgo... you deserve everything. Absolutely everything.” This is a sight, you take your phone out and snap a pic before he notices. “What happened to anime being too immature for you huh?” “Shut up (Y/n).” He retorts, shoving another heaping spoonful of rice into his mouth. “Are you... about to cry?” Changbin continues to stuff his mouth with food, his cheeks puffing up. “Oh my god you’re crying! You’re crying over an anime!” “No I’m not.” He forces himself to mumble out a disagreement with all that food in his mouth, however his watery eyes completely betray him and say otherwise. You stay silent, smirking at him knowingly. “It’s just Ikalgo deserves so much better, if Killua doesn’t become his friend I’m going to stop watching.” He looks so reluctant to admit it that you start laughing, a snort sounding from your nose. “Called it, you’re getting sentimental over a childish fucking anime!” “I’ll kill you if you tell anyone, Seungmin will never let me live this down.” “Thanks for the idea, idiot.”
【10:42 pm】Sentimental hours are open starting from 10:30pm till whenever your body decides to fall asleep. Poor Changbin has been trying to comfort you since then, yet all has been in vain. “Changbinnie, am I really good enough for anyone then? Am I good enough for someone to just stay with me?” No one likes seeing a pretty girl cry, let alone their best friend being said pretty girl. Seeing you cry pulls on his heartstrings. It angers him to the point where all he wants to do is break Junwoo’s face, yet knowing how you wouldn’t like a fight is the only thing stopping him from going along with his desires. “(Y/n), for the last time, you are more than good enough. Please just listen, he was a douchebag all along, you knew that. He didn’t do this because you weren’t good enough for him, he did this because he was selfish and toxic, at least he’s out of your life for good now.” You slump into the mattress further, Changbin staring at you hopelessly. “You can’t keep this up you know, it’s self destructive.” You try your best to move your eyes towards him, but the angle you’re lying in doesn’t allow for that as you feel the strain in the corner of your eye. “For the record I am very much aware of that, thank you.” You feel a hand on the top of your head, stroking your hair softly. “It’s gonna be okay, you’re better off without him and there’s plenty of fish in the sea anyways.” You turn and toss a little bit, shoving your face into and wrapping your arms around his torso while you sulk (If people didn’t know better, they would mistake the two of you for a couple). Your fingers grazing his body sent warm pinpricks up his spine and feathers in his stomach. Changbin’s hand never leaves your head even as you stop sniffling and the room slowly shifts into a comfortable silence. “How is it that you treat me better than how my ex did so for me?” His eyes leave the phone in his other hand to glance at you empathetically. For a moment, he isn’t the witty, sharp tongued Changbin everyone came to know. He hopes you can’t see the almost devastating look on his face as he smiles pitifully, such vulnerability that he will only ever show towards you. “Anyone could treat you better than that guy.” He doesn’t get a verbal reply, but instead receives a string of soft snores slightly muffled by the fabric of his sweater. Satisfied, he has to pry your arms off of him to reach the lights, turning them off. “Binnie, come backkkkkk...” Freezing in his tracks at your words, he sighs, rolling his eyes in slight amusement. He slips himself in bed next to you, getting comfortable with your arms back around his torso. You mumble a few incoherent words, before dosing back to sleep. 
Meanwhile in Changbin’s apartment, Jisung feels a sneeze coming. He braces for the impact, before sneezing once, then twice, then the third time. “Oh my god, it’s happening.” Seungmin side eyes him, giving Jisung a weird look. “Not you with your stupid mind bonds or whatever you call it.” “No I swear, it’s real, three sneezes that’s what I told Changbin hyung would happen if he ever did it.”
Now, the two of you have long since passed out amidst the comfort of your bed. However, let me share you a little secret, You, who were the most reluctant to share your sanctuary with someone else, you’re going to wake up from the best sleep you’ve had in months tomorrow morning.
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tigerdrop · 4 years
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I just had a motherfucking brain blast. I was sitting here like “damn I wish t-dicks (ya know the dick ya get from testosterone if ur trans. Dunno what else to call it.) could be used for penetration” and then I was like WAIT what if the person with the t-dick gets big or the person getting penetrated gets small... it would probably work. I am a fucking genius. Thot u would wanna be aware of this idea. - throwawayaccount187
this ask cursed me i spent an embarrassingly long time trying to work out the size logistics. i even made diagrams. this got long and weird and embarrassing just dont look under here
like. ok. look. ordinarily they are like
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but what if instead.......benrey huges himself enough to be like
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i think this would be idea probably. (i even drew in the dick on a separate layer just to compare. i think this works. even though i really do be giving this dude the biggest meat even in transed form)
do you think gordons even considered that this idea was possible?? absolutely the fuck not. my dude is heteronormative as all hell and probably assumes that hes gonna be the one topping all the time......until maybe theyre wrestling and horsing around and benrey gets him pinned on his stomach and starts laughing in his ear with his hips pressed alllll the way up against gordons ass and that gets him thinking, like, Huh.......Oh No.....i kinda want him to fuck me like this. and, you know, if youre a normal human who is used to dating other normal humans, you start thinking about things like strap-ons and not your eldritch gamer bf enthusiastically agreeing to this idea and deciding to grow to twice his size to fuck you in the ass himself Just Because He Can
just being pinned down and crushed to the ground by him at that size and feeling totally overwhelmed b/c its all benrey, inside and outside him, and the sensation of being fucked like this is so unfamiliar that gordons so noisy despite his best efforts to shut himself up with a hand pressed to his mouth.....and benreys so big that it really does feel like hes getting fucked by a for-real dick (even if the textures a little different......not that he would know. not that gordon freeman has ever thought about what it would be like.)
thinking about gordon being at eyeball height with benreys dick and feeling normal about it......thinking about him at that size........having to try to straddle benreys waist.........gbgdb . GGGG. seeing gordon struggling to fit all of benreys t-dick in his mouth would probably be intensely gender-euphoric too. you know. if you asked me. trans benrey facefuck indulgence but benreys twice his size.......GOD. like. he really could just work his whole arm up in there huh.
i am just saying like if your natural inclination is to finger your eldritch bf while youre sucking his dick, but now hes like twice your size, you just shut up and listen when hes pulling your hair and demanding "cmonnnn gimme more" b/c your fingers just arent doing the trick right now (which is a little emasculating, b/c gordons like over 6 ft tall and has fingers to match and normally he considers this particular application of them to be one of the perks. but i do love emasculating gordon freeman on here)
im just saying. like. imagine the sheer fucking awe on gordons face as he manages to slip his entire forearm inside and benrey just lets out one of the most desperate moans gordons ever heard before. life-changing
and when benreys that big......like.....gordon getting his face fucked is a messy endeavor at the best of times but like jesus christ he would be drenched. like its a natural extension of my personal fascination with micro gordon being covered in cum except its trans benrey rutting into his face and onto his stomach and his thighs and his ass in a not-so-subtle attempt to mark him......gordon thinks benreys just grinding his dick into his stomach b/c hes impatient. no. you fucking idiot
and the weight and pressure of benrey pressing down onto him.....exquisite. enthusiastically sucking dick until hes seeing spots in the corner of his vision and then clapping benreys thigh to get him to let him up for air and gasping and begging like hes having some kind of fuckin divine experience
the juxtaposition of Huge Benrey grabbing gordons head with both hands and rutting furiously into his mouth while begging gordon not to stop, hes gonna come, just mindlessly spouting off......whos the one in control right now? somehow it might not actually be the guy with six feet and a couple hundred pounds on the other one
anyway wow this is a lot and isnt even related to the original ask any more so im going now. Bye
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