#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character

[cuteniaarts]

Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:

Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough

[enigma-absolute]

What is Eddsworld about?

3 British idiots (and occasionally an additional Norwegian one) have silly misadventures in a long-running animated webshow. There’s been zombies and clones to fight, movies to make and even a trip down to hell AND Atlantis. It’s a bit of a wacky show.

To make a short story long, Eddsworld was made initially in 2003 by Edd Gould, and featured him and his friends as the main characters. Over the years after Gould passing from leukaemia in 2012, the show, show crew and fandom has seen some rocky times (I could make a tome of lore about all this but NO THANKS), but is still a fond spot in many people’s hearts - including mine. Without coming across it in late February 2013, I genuinely wouldn’t have a foundation for my current art style and the push to pursue my passions in animation.

That and if you come into Eddsworld fandom (not recommended if you go into the main body, just find a few folks and stick with them), be expected to draw a LOT of hoodies and develop an annoying (affectionate) habit of making puns.

So who are the three British idiots anyway? Keep in mind: while they were initially based off IRL Edd and his friends, they’re not the same as them and are seperate things. It’s seen as VERY disrespectful to keep using IRL surnames for the characters, so we often substitute our own made-up or similar-sounding ones.

Edd: Head of the trio, brown hair, green hoodie. Looks like the most normal. Is not, really. The artistic one and pun-maker. Loves cola to a fault, to a point where in canon, his future self went back in time to kill his past self because cola got banned globally. (And it’s the highest ranked Eddsworld episode and the one with the most views.)

Edd is my personal favourite character and I will fight on the hill for him to have a good Edd-centric story that isn’t about shipping him with the other lads or as an angst punching bag. He doesn’t even get enough fanart as the title character of his own show! Let my boy have PEACE AND A FUN TIME FOR ONCE.

Tom: Blue hoodie, spiky hair, weird eyes. The grumpy ‘voice of reason’, but he is also not immune to the Shenanigans. Often the alcoholic, but less so in canon. Has a beloved monster form since it was seen in the eddisode PowerEdd. If you’re asking why his eyes are Like That, we don’t have a concrete answer either. Are they voids? Portals to other things? Just black? Who knows? (The void though is my favourite bc it’s funny.)

Tom is one of the more popular characters of the fandom, and I can see why! However, as an Edd girlie myself, I will admit that it has been a bit TOO much to see over the years. Him and the Norwegian character, but that’s another story.

Matt: Ginger, purple hoodie and green overcoat. Highly narcissistic, with (and I quote the theme song here) ‘the intelligence of a kitchen shelf.’ Can often be found admiring himself in mirrors. Surprisingly has the highest body count of all his friends from over the episodes. Was at one point, a vampire from a Halloween special - that has still carried through into many fanon designs of him. And he was also leader of a zombie army too.

I remember a time when Matt wasn’t so popular as Tom and the Norwegian one, but now he’s just very shipped with the rest of his mates and given plenty of fanart as he likes. And good for him! Now at this point you'd expect me to talk about the Norwegian.

And you know what? No.

I respect him, I can enjoy him as a character and part of the unit with the boys, I can enjoy some takes on the concepts his latter days brought to the table, but overall? I would like to see him Goncharov'd OUT of relevancy.

That character has done too much damage on the fandom, tbh. The days in the fandom where he was basically nonexistent were peaceful. The final episodes of the Eddsworld Legacy season were a flashpoint (derogatory) and while it did unearth old (metaphorical) cursed relics from under the surface, I'm becoming more convinced by the year that he and his last two episodes have done MORE harm than good - stretching even into now!

I'd rather be careful to talk about him. And we don't make any mention of the person he was inspired by, just for the sake of the IRL man to be LEFT ALONE. As should most of the others and their families who played these characters.

Speaking of these kinds of things: A warning.

As for the more recent episodes in the Eddsworld Beyond season: tread with caution. From the first proper episode, people from the crew have been kicked off for genuinely serious reasons that are too dark to explain here and discourse has been rife about the current showrunners.

If you decide to take a look at what had happened - take everything with a grain of salt and come to your own conclusions. The bias can be easy to fall into one group or another so I strongly don't recommend to go looking for it. If you're here for a fun time, do NOT go near the discourse. Especially on tumblr.

So, rant aside, I'll stop myself here. If you want some recommendations on where to begin on Eddisodes:

The Zombeh Attack Trilogy (yes it's spelled like this on purpose): The lads encounter zombies. Not all of them will survive.

Ruined: The lads investigate an egyptian temple.

Spares: The lads get cloned by an evil director. Who is also an idiot.

Hello Hellhole: The boys go to hell. For a vacation.

Moving Targets: The boys join the army.

The Zanta Claws Trilogy: The lads encounter and fight against a Zombie Santa Claus. Shenanigans ensue.

Matt Sucks: Halloween special in which Matt is bitten by a vampire.

Moviemakers: The lads make a movie.

WTFuture: Edd and his friends are chased after his murderous future self. Fan favourite, and if you only watch ONE Eddisode, I HIGHLY recommend this!

Hammer and Fail (Parts One AND Two): The lads try to renovate due to Matt's kleptomaniac tendencies. (Also the introduction to fan-favourite side characters.)

Space Face (Parts One AND Two): The last of Edd Gould's work and animation before his passing and the start of the Legacy season. The lads get abducted by aliens.

Hide and Seek (minisode): Matt tries to play the titular game.

Fun Dead: The lads go to a zombie-infested theme park.

Mirror Mirror (minisode): We meet the genderbend version of the lads and spend the time with the girls, Ell, Tamara and Matilda! (I've also lost count how many times I've cosplayed as Ell. Best girl, you can't change my mind.)

PowerEdd: Edd gets superpowers and has a rivalry with his neighbour.

Saloonatics: The radically different art style and some of the story was quite divisive among fans upon release, but has now become a beloved cult classic. A spiritual sequel to WTFuture, we go back in time and encounter 'ancestor' characters of the lads in the wild west.

Surf and Turf (Part One): (Shh part two is currently in production) The lads go to the beach. What could go wrong?

Should be all I can wholeheartedly recommend to a first-time viewer. If you decide to take the plunge, good luck!

[cosmos-daughter]

My thoughts on Resident Evil 4 Remake as a long time fan of the original.

I stand firm in my opinion that great games don't need to be remade for the sake of modernity, and that the dated graphics and old game mechanics are a huge part of their unique charm. So I have mixed feelings about this remake. I don't think it's bad, but I also don't think it's Capcom's best remake, nor do I think it's better than the original.

First of all, I think it's hilarious how the directors said this game is more survival horror than the original because it's absolutely not. That is a blatant lie. I'll get into details about why during this text, but I don't think the game is scary, especially compared to others RE games, and personally I didn't feel fear at all during my gameplay, not even with the regenerators, even if they look terrifying visually (they were the closest to being scary though).

The reason behind that is simple: the game is too focused on combat, therefore, loses a huge part of the horror. If you carry a knife you can parry almost every attack, and the ones you can't you can evade by pressing the button at the right time. For example: in the original, even if it was also combat-focused, you couldn't afford to let the regenerators too close, and even at a distance they were still dangerous because of the attack they stretch their arms and grab you (something you can get away from instantly in the remake if you have a knife; unlike the original where you have to press the button repeatedly and you still lose a lot of HP for being caught).

Huge part of the reason why the original got my hands sweating, especially when I played in the professional mode, was the tank/old game controls. That made the whole game 10x harder because if you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, you were done. While seeing Leon parrying a chainsaw with a knife is cool as hell, it also takes away the impact of the whole thing, since you're not screaming in horror when you turn back and see the chainsaw dude right behind you because you know you're already dead ー since you can't parry and can't quickly evade because of the controls, you don't have time to react anymore. This is one of the things that made original game so special, and since we don't have that kind of gameplay in modern games anymore, I think it would be better if they stopped remaking the old games for the sake of modernization and focused on releasing new games instead, so we can have new characters, lore, enemies, locations.

The original also didn't have a auto-save every five seconds like the remake does. That castle section where you send Ashley up to handle the cranks was stressing as hell in the original because if you died at the very end you had to begin the entire damn phase all over again, since the beginning. The remake is much easier in that sense, since it has way too many checkpoints, even in hardcore mode.

You also have a lot of space in your inventory and key items don't take up space there because they go alongside the treasures, so item managing is basically nonexistent. And as if that wasn't enough, you also have a second inventory (typewriter) in which you can store weapons. This mechanic only works well on other RE games because you have nothing more than a tiny inventory to carry your weapons, recovering items and key items at the same time. In a game where you can literally have a XL sized suitcase as a inventory system, I think it's very unecessary. The resources in this game aren't scarce either, unless you're playing in the hardest difficulty, which it's the very least.

The only thing this game technically does better than the original is the atmosphere, at least visually speaking, since it has more realistic graphics and lighting, so we have darker/spookier places. But that's not all there is to atmosphere, there's also the psychological aspect, which this game doesn't have much because like I said, it doesn't make you tense, you're not fearing for your life most of the times because you know you can easily fight back whatever comes at you and there aren't many insta-kill attacks. This game doesn't have the same tension that RE2 remake does when you have to move around the station knowing Mr. X is hunting you because you can hear his heavy footsteps amongst the silence and you also know he has a incredible hearing, so any noise you make can lead him to you, thing that pressures the player to not stay on the same room for too long.

And yeah, yeah, I know most of the previously mentioned things are the same way in the original, but that's exactly my point. Capcom bragged so much about this game being more survival horror than the original so I expected them to actually keep their word and do some changes on the gameplay/mechanics to actually make this be true.

Unless Capcom's definition of "more survival horror" is simply adding more dimly lit rooms and realistic graphics, since that's the only huge and noticeable difference from the original. And if it's the case, I'm very disappointed, considering it's coming from the same company that made RE1 remake: the closest there is to a perfect survival horror and a perfect game -- RE2 remake: a game that perfectly masters the art of ambience and atmosphere as manner to cause tension and uneasiness at the player, and the greatest modern survival horror in my opinion -- and RE7: a genius masterpiece of horror and the most terrifying game I have ever played so far. While all these games also make use of poor lighting to create atmosphere (it's a horror game, after all), none depend solely on that, because that'd mean is a bad game. We know they know very well how to make a terrifying, spine-chilling survival horror, and it's clearly not what they did in this remake, so I think it's very audacious of them to say so.

Resident Evil's horror was always the fact that you actually had to be smart and skilled to survive. What causes fear is your own helplessness as a player, the knowing that you're not invencible because you can't parry a chainsaw with a knife, you can't dodge attacks, you can't sneak up on your enemies and take them down with one attack from behind, and all that while having to use your resources wisely. These are games that encourage the player to avoid enemies instead of going on a killing spree because the enemies drop items. It punishes you for taking down enemies instead of rewarding. You're meant to avoid them when instead of confronting.

I thought maybe they'd implement these typical RE stuff to the remake and change the game a little, since they were talking soooo much about it being "more survival horror", but turns out they didn't, and at the end it resulted in a game that has nice, updated graphics and gameplay but manages to be inferior than the original because it's less unique and easier; and that's why I don't think RE4 remake has even half of the appeal of the previously mentioned games. It's just a game, a very well made one, mind you, but it's just what's expected of a AAA game, and it's not outstanding in any way if not except for graphics (which is something I personally don't care for) and while it's a fun time, it doesn't bring anything worth putting it on a pedestal, both story and gameplay-wise. Capcom did not overcame themselves with this game, neither it's their best work until now.

There are good changes in the remake, Ashley and Luis being the best of them, now that they've been given more screentime and depth, both are much more likeable and interesting characters. I fell in love with them both, and they are the reasons why I even managed to replay it, especially Ashley, she's so cute and pretty and I loved her gameplay section more than anything. The side activities such as tresure hunting and target shooting mini-game are way more fun too. While all of these are ten thousand times better now, it's not enough to be considered worth making a remake because that's not why you play a Resident Evil game for.

To me, the remake wasn't necessary because all they could possibly 'upgrade/improve' in a remake would be the story, gameplay or graphics, and the reason why people love the original is not because of any of those, but because it's a unique game.

The game is so unrealistic, chaotic and goofy while still being creepy, tense, challenging, and that's what makes it perfect. It seems like something coming out of a Junji Ito's manga -- surreal, bizzare, and so exaggerated that ends up being comical. The bodily mutilations and distortions of the enemies are horrifying but these same enemies are idiotic and unserious; the absurdity, ridiculousness and improbability of everything going on in the story is what feeds this different type of horror this game has, for this reason I like to think of it as a horror comedy of some sort.

I mean, Ada showing up in a cheongsam doesn't make sense but we love it and it's iconic because it's the only horror game where you'd see a woman fighting in a long red dress and high heels. The game is full of extremely extra characters doing unrealistic and unnecessary things all the time just because it looks cool, and there's hilarious scenes like Leon running away from a fucking gigantic walking statue, the laser room scene, or Ashley being kidnapped by a abnormally big mosquito. The original didn't care about being realistic, their goal was to achieve what was considered cool back in the day. They valued creativity, not realism.

Resident evil 4 (2005) is kind of a mess, I meant it when I said the game is very chaotic. It's a crazy mixture of things that you normally don't see going together in a horror game, but it works surprisingly well in the end. It has:

Characters based on anime characters archetypes. Ada is the mysterious morally grey enemy-ally with a complicated relationship with the MC. Leon is the cool, handsome (ikemen) good hearted hero. Ashley, the tsundere-ish himedere damsel in distress who's in love with the main character. Luis, the charming womanizer who's secretive about his motives and arguebly an asshole. And all the very theatrical villains with cartoonish speach.

A action-focused combat.

Escort mission (having to protect and guide Ashley).

Humor very present in the story.

Yet it still has the typical horror stuff -- a lack of dialogue and soundtracks that makes the game's atmosphere lonely, the bleak, cold and pale scenery, gruesome and gory deaths, grotesque body horror including disgusting scenes that shows the enemies' bodies being ripped open and modified, etc. All these things in one game is not something you find everyday.

Point is, the original didn't need to be have poorly lit places, jumpscares or anything to be good, because it already had the huge factor of being a distinct and very specific game at it's favor, and what does the remake have? Now that the game looks, plays and feels like every other high-budget game that comes out every year, what's the appeal of it? There are plenty of games similar to RE4 remake, but nothing quite like RE4. That doesn't necessarily means it's bad, not every game has to be revolutionary, I'm not that harsh, but it means that there's nothing extraordinary about it.

Now, my next topic and the most important one to me: our protagonist, Leon Scott Kennedy. He was definitely the main reason why I couldn't enjoy this game as much. God, how frustrating it was to see this Leon onscreen. Completely out of character, so emo and edgy and grumpy that ended up being borderline annoying. Keeping his one-liners and "sense of humor" doesn't matter when you changed everything else that formed the essence of the character.

Not to mention even his humor now is more dry and overly sarcastic, very different the way Leon used to joke around. He had a harmless and silly humor overall (remember the classics: "where's everyone going? bingo?" "your right hand comes off?" [re4] "what the matter, not a fan of sewers?" "got some sins to confess?" [re6], etc). It was the clever and well timed remarks that made him so funny, he didn't really had to offend people or be cynical all the time.

Now he's saying stuff like "give my regards to your god" "i'll give you a holy body" amongst other stupidly forced things, I feel like his 'humor' is just over the top, very edgy and even a little bit cringe sometimes. His humor used to be the kind that would make you giggle because it was smart and a bit goofy -- not roll your eyes. ... Or maybe it'd make you roll your eyes too, but affectionately. Having a smart mouth and being sassy is not Leon's entire personality. When you know his character well, you easily notice the difference. But I guess it kinda makes sense, because they were clearly going for the RE2r version of Leon instead -- which is very different from the Leon from RE4 original and RE6. And the cgi movies, too.

What REALLY got under my skin though, was when when Luis said to him "quiet type, aren't you?" or something like that. That made me want to bang my head on the wall repeatedly until I pass out because this is the kind of thing you would never hear someone say about the old Leon -- this man loves likes to talk, way too much, even. He's anything but the quiet type. Leon is not Leon without his charisma and exceptional social skills.

And in the remake, he lacks all of those qualities and is reduced to a serious ass agent, as if we don't see enough of characters like this. That distinction between him and your typical government agent was what made him so special and beloved. And it doesn't help that his current voice actor voices him speaking aggressively towards people most of the time and Leon is not a agressive or confrontational person at all (not blaming the voice actor, he's just doing what he's been instructed to!) and doesn't carry the same charisma and confidence on his voice like the previous VAs did, and his voice is not as mature as Mercier or Mercer's. I feel like he did a great job voicing RE2 remake Leon, when he's supposed to be a young, naïve, inexperienced young man, but it's definitely not fit for older the Leon. You can't tell me a character's voice doesn't affect their personality because it absolutely does.

As I mentioned before, the whole reason why Leon is so unique it's because of how different he is of what you'd expect a person on his field of work to be; while you'd expect serious, cold and unfriendly person, he's all the opposite. He may look like a sad-tumblr-boy (I mean, look at his hair) but he's actually a very easy-going and fun person with good intentions, and this is why people like him so much. In the remake, he is the sad-tumblr-boy, he looks like he's running out of patience all the time, and that made me appreciate even more how calm the old Leon was. Basically, the old Leon is that cool, chill guy you'd approach on a bar, but remake Leon is the kind you'd stay away because he doesn't look exactly approachable.

His life sucks and he's miserable but he's not a bitter person -- it's the opposite. He's admirable and he is so strong for managing to be like this even with the immense trauma and survivor's guilt he carries within himself. I'm not saying he can't lose his patience and needs to be relaxed all the time because that's not how he is, he might be calm and non-confrontational in general but his hatred towards bio-weapons and those who use them is something that is very present on his character, very clear in every movie and game he's on -- it's literally what he fights for. We saw his more of his "bad side" (not to me tho y'all be safe) in Damnation and Vendetta -- yet it still feels like him. Even if he's having a mental breakdown, stressed out and showing a side of him we haven't seen before, it's still feels like Leon, he doesn't sound or act like a complete new character like he does now in the remake because he still carries all the traits that are important to his character.

I have seen people complaining about Leon's old behavior being unrealistic but I strongly disagree. Just because he's traumatized and depressed it doesn't mean he needs to be salty all the time -- the problem is that people think if the story doesn't show or mentions all the time how the character suffers from whatever he struggles with, it means the character doesn't suffer from it at all.

His calm demeanor, flirty comments and humor were also coping mechanisms, he joked as a way to relief the tension -- his own and other people's -- and as an attempt to calm down people around him, something he was always good at doing. Remember how easily he could calm Ashley in the original, how softly he spoke to her, how he manages to comfort Helena right after she lost her sister and was nice to her the whole time when he didn't have the obligation and had reasons to be pissed at her. His sincerity, good intentions and tenderness makes people get attached to him easily, because Leon is always very aware of the mental state of the people around him and cares a lot. Sometimes I even wonder if his caring and empathetic behavior towards people isn't a reflex of his desire of having someone doing the same for him.

He always wears his heart on his sleeve -- and while he doesn't say out loud how he feels, he doesn't have to because his eyes say it all, he is very expressive, he's always been. Leon is a sensitive person with a big golden heart, and I find that not very well represented in the remakes, even if his interactions with Ashley are still lovely and he's still described as a good guy. They're telling us, but not exactly showing, when it was the opposite in the past. I don't think they did a good job in showing his sensitiveness and softness, which are things that were very present and clear even when he was at his worst state.

And like I said before, I don't think his old personality was unrealistic, but if you think it's okay to completely change a character's personality for the sake of realism I feel bad for you, that's exactly why the main characters are getting more boring and all-the-same each day, like what happened to Jill for example, she's unrecognizable now. Leon is my favorite character of all time and it has been that way for years, so seeing his character getting murdered like this annoyed me to an extent that I considered giving up on Resident Evil (as you can see I didn't though).

I'm not saying remake Leon is bad ー he's grown into me, though it took a few years for that to happen. But it's undeniable that he is very different from what he is on other RE media. He still has the same traits as the original Leon but he displays them in a very different manner, way more subtle, which is disappointing to see because Leon's transparency is one of the most important and admirable parts about him, a man that isn't scared of showing how he feels is incredibly sexy and that why he is so attractive. Like I said before, he is the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, he doesn't hide much. He's a sensitive, kind, good hearted man that will do anything to protect people, and I wish they focused more on those qualities than on his bitter, traumatized side that we know exists deeps down. They could've let this for another game, another story.

TLDR: the remake is a nice game, and it'd be amazing as a individual game unrelated to RE or if the original didn't exist and this what the original release, but for a Resident Evil and compared to the 2005 game it's not that impressive and lacks in many aspects; it doesn't have the same charm and uniqueness as the original, and the changes they did in Leon's personality made the game much less appealing, since his charisma and humour pretty much carried the original game. I'll probably replay it again in the future, because I did enjoy it, but I'd have appreciate a new game with brand new content and story much more than a remake that ended up nerfing the best parts of the original game and what made it so special and loved.

[entropic-introspection]

Final Fantasy XIV: A Quick(ish) Summary As Told By Someone Too Lazy To Recheck Exact Times/Things

1.0- We don't talk about it

A Realm Reborn (ARR)- for some strange reason the world got like, completely blown up 5 years ago, crazy! You are some dumb kid from nowhere in particular, with nothing but the clothes on your back and a weapon that is little more than a chunk of wood, or a book. Possibly just your fists. You have got 50 levels and a shitload of lore to get through until you reach the first expansion.

Essentially: you don't have enough money for chicken nuggets, your fashion game is nonexistent, and every high level player calls you a sprout and exhibits Concern about your every action (they mean well).

Garlemald bad, Ascians bad, Eorzea uhhh trying to be good but kinda racist/capitalist/pirates with a history of colonialism, Coerthas is French Catholic and in the Crusades with the dragons. Hydaelin... good? Confusing, for sure, often referred to as Mother in text. Primals bad and scary, but fortunately you are immune to their mind-fuckery techniques thanks to Crystal Mom and surprisingly good at kicking their asses. Garleans mad that you ""savages"" keep killing Primals, despite having a whole mandate against Primals and Primal summoning. Ascians mad that you keep killing Primals because Ascians are dicks. People die, there is an amnesia plot, some annoying twerp is annoyingly right about a lot of things and also you can't get rid of him, Moogles, possession, fucking Ancient Aliens Allagans (if it's a problem in ARR, it's Ascians or Allagans aight), and hey ho you go and kick Garlean asses until they throw a giant machine at you that they stuffed full of Primal juice. Such devastation-!

Then there is the slightly post ARR stuff, where we're still level 50-ish but not really into the next expansion. So basically, we meet Dragon Dad who slaps Crystal Mom's blessing off of you to build character, Ascians are once again dicks, Who The Hell Names These Things, wow Lysanderoth you're definitely not suspicious at all, and our annoying twerp is dabbling in politics and for some reason you're getting fond of him?? Just in time for...

Heavensward (Lvl 50-60)- Congratulations, you are now an enemy of the state! We return/flee to French Catholic Coerthas/Ishgard, where we get to room with our Dear Friend, Haurchefant.

Don't mind how all the high leveled players have started crying. This expansion is emotionally devastating, has a great storyline, and also features canonical consensual dragon vore as a plot point. You know that tweet that's all "Church bad because they won't let you fuck dragons"? Yes, that's Heavensward. You will still cry. We embark on an epic road trip with the annoying twerp (ft his existential teenage crisis), a famous dragon killer and sadboi, and a famous lady who advocates peace/fucking dragons. Somehow, none of you kill each other. Instead, you murder a weirdly attractive bug-man with good music and a desire for violence, a giant flying whale, and some old dudes. You also beat up the same Ascian from the first bit, again. And again, in his final(?) form. Dragon Dad has come along to watch your progress, and also check on his kids cause he's actually, y'know, the entire progenitor of the dragon race. Wow! His family is very sad, mostly. But he does like you, so hey, he can adopt you and have one kid that turned out ok and happy! Hahahahha there's no therapists in Eorzea :')

Then we get to deal with "Hey we ended your like 500 year+ Crusade and kind of upended your social structures, y'all good?" (no), something something Warriors of Darkness, something something Urianger sus, then ALISAIE JOINS THE PARTY. I love her ok, let me have this. She's the annoying twerp's twin, and she's more inclined to hitting things that politics and philosophy. She's also kind of crushing on you. Also Minfillia kinda fucks off to nowhere, which is weird, b/c she has been Important but also Not Involved with the plot for like. 8 years.

Stormblood (Lvl 60-70)- Return of Lysanderoth! Briefly. Before he fucks you over, again. And a bunch of other people, honestly. But hey, this puts Eorzea in open contention with Garlemald for the first time in years, instead of them hovering in an uneasy cold war. For the first goddamn time in the game, you canonically get your ass kicked. Hard. So hard you decide fuck it! And go overseas to Fantasy Japan/China to visit some nice people you helped out earlier. You get catfished. You meet a weeb. There's some pirates, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There's Ravana take 2, this time in a slightly more 'Forever 21' phase. Wild, young, free, REJOICE.

You attempt to inspire rebellion (since your character doesn't talk much, this is quite difficult). Garleans crack down, and hey look, the dude who kicked your ass is back! Prince Zenos Yae Galvus, as by this point you've hopefully learned, even if you're bad with names like me. He kicks your ass again, but this time we break his helmet, and wait shit is he... kind of hot? Maybe? Fuck?? He pins you to a wall and tells you to find him later, it's all confusing and prompts strange butterflies in stomachs. (Side note: as a lesbian, I am making some assumptions here. Mostly based off of how I reacted to the idea of Tsukuyomi doing the same. Mm.)

Then he promptly fucks off, and to work off that sexual tension you square up and work with local friends on Rebellion! You get help from some neighboring nomads after proving you're cool enough to tame a bird, and this proves enough to free the area from Garlean control (for now). We go back to Eorzea, and prepare to kick Zenos' head in. He's playing hard to get though, so we gotta get through some other folks, learn hard lessons about war/colonization, and feel bad. AND THEN WE KICK HIS- oh no wait. Is he... coming on to us again? Oh jesus man, get a therapist, oh my god, this is awkward for us both. Turns out he's kinda depressed and just wants you. To fight him. To the death. There is some bullshittery and he becomes dragon. Fails to kill you, so he kills himself. (Spoiler: it doesn't stick)

The Garlean Empire is now pissed off at you, and Eorzea in general. Everyone is kung-fu fighting, but oops, Garlemald is preparing to commit ~war crimes~! Someone is doing something weird, which is making your Scion friends fall into comas, which is both very convenient and highly inconvenient, cause all of you are kinda needed right now! Zenos, or something in his body, is causing trouble as well. Look, even when we thought he was dead he was causing trouble.

Shadowbringers (Lvl 70-80): We find out what's been making our friends pass out- someone from another dimension has been trying to yoink you over to them, and like all attempts at using the Rescue spell, it just sometimes leads to hilarious accidents. In this case, some epic lag, so although your friends have only been out of it for a week or two at most, they've been in this other world for 5 whole years in some cases. Turns out, Garlean war crimes are all an Ascian plot (what isn't, by this point), and mysterious Crystal Exarch is hoping you can save this world and your own.

At this point, Yoshi P, the lead developer, pulls out a gun and asks if you've been doing all those side-quests and optional 48 man raids. He worked very hard on those, you know. He put in lots of lore. Then he asks if you remember all those dangling plot hooks from previous expansions. We're addressing a lot of those. And adding more. You are sweating and nodding frantically while scrolling a wiki on your phone.

You get to feel like you're in an Otome game, because there's two dudes being weirdly polite and interested in you, but also real snappish to each other in terms of "fuck off she's mine". Alisaie and Alphinaud off-screen character development. Urianger still sus. Thancred now a dad? Y'shtola still so good. A lot of things happen, and you get progressively sadder as the expansion goes on. You get a nice, great big burst of hope and love, and then SOMEONE is a DICK with a GUN. (It is not Yoshi P.)

Now you just feel bad. Your character feels bad. This is all build up for the A) some motherfucking revelations and B) the utter catharsis of "If you could take one more step... would you?" "What, all by myself?" "THROW WIDE THE GATE"

I have shed legitimate tears over Shadowbringers ok, between the music, story, and pacing it is an Experience. Oh my god tho, all the music from Shadowbringers is so good. La-HEE

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

@moldygreenblue (tumblr why are you always like this? ;w; lemme tag) 

I believe I went off on her a little before (outside her dungeon, x) Anyway Futaba’s there for a number of reasons:

 I hate her dungeon, her shadow, just her whole arc from a lore perspective. The rules are broken....no...shattered for her, not just P5′s rules but previous games’ rules. (I think I mentioned it in these posts x, x, x, btw these are all pre Royal.....Atlus probs saw a post about it and was like “we need to add doubts in Royal maybe now it’ll make sense!” srry boo but she says it’s no her mom and her cognition should reflect that right away you still messed up, also too little too late).

I’m pretty sure I remember talking about how I do no think she is a good representation of mental illness, she basically is cured with the “power of friendship” after a week (of being conscious), and they only use her lingering issues when they need it for plot reasons (on top of the fact iirc the writing between main story and CoOp is contradictory, iirc she’s like “MC you’re the one who saved me! I can only go out if I’m with YOU!” and then the next day of one of my playthroughs Yusuke literally picks her up and she’s like “oh I’m fine now, and it’s thanks to EVERYONE!” and it’s just....pandering for a romance in that CoOp). It pisses me off she’s the rep for mental illness. 

She takes up too much screen time, and it feels like a lot of actual issues/obstacles we could just....overcome is instead made so we NEED to use her (I’m looking at you dungeon 3 of PQ2, you can suck it, Fuuka should’ve been the focus, literally makes no sense for Futaba to be the focus????) 

Ties into point 1 but still deserves it’s own point. I hate how she’s like “THEY STOLE MY HEART! THEY CHANGED MY COGNITION!” but....we didn’t.......we literally didn’t. Did we help/save her with our intervention? Yes, but it’s not cause it was supernatural, we just showed up for her. Did WE solve her issue supernaturally.....no....not really, we didn’t get a chance (remember how....there was no treasure! oOo yeah we go into her Palace, but that’s not really changing her, it’s us going in irl and being like “yo ya gotta go outside! get that sunny D!” than us screwing with her dungeon). She solved it herself, Yaldy gave her the app, she ran into her Shadow, she accepted her Shadow, she solved it on her own. Not only is it a straight up lie, and conflating someone changing their mind/”heart” with the PT way of changing hearts (as well as the fact you know....we didn’t change her cognition, she did), but it also reduces her own involvement in her own healing process and overcoming the obstacle herself. We were just the spark, the rest of the flame emerged from Futaba. Like listen, the IRL stuff we did was important, but when it came down to the wire, it was her own memory and faith in herself and her mom that helped her confront herself and her false memories (because y’know...she couldn’t hear us). And it pisses me off that the writers would take something important to a character and her message, away for some bullshit reason.

I dunno some times she acted like an ass and it was just annoying, I already had Makoto/Yusuke/Goro/MC(even Mona/Ryu at times, to other’s not each other, obvie they do it to each other) kinda getting away(or have gotten away) with that without much reprimanding. (and tbh, anything that could possibly be redeemable, is either nonexistent, or overshadowed by the fact she’s mostly just there for her be connected to a literal mother of a plot device, no her hacking isn’t needed you have superpowers and another world WHY do you need to rely on her????literally states in the first dungeon you can’t use a phone camera in the metaverse even, but for some reason a laptop is fully working?????I know one is part of the phone and the other is a comp but it’s our only tech we know/can relate back to, so what does it mean Atlus? Is the comp allowed but the phone isn’t? Why? Just explain. Here’s one I just made up for you: Phone has to have the app open at all times in the metaverse! Or, actually no tech works well in the Metaverse, which means no laptop, one or the other choose please)

Oh she kinda screws us over, until we joined we didn’t have any connections to doing anything illegal. Yeah she throws that out the window. I mean we can always sell her out, but we are her enablers/accomplices.

Someone I know who was studying hacking at the time (for their work) was like “she’s kind of pulling that shit outta her ass.” And it hurt them to watch any of her scenes play out (I think the wire tap was the one thing she got a pass on tho). It doesn’t help it’s not really explained enough (so they can see if it’s plausible). To them it’s cringe, to me it shows convenience for the story (obvie I care more about how it hinders the story skadlfj;alfj and if it’s like they say, it annoys me even more). 

Spinoff wise I hate how she tries to grope Anne and Makoto in P5D, and I hate how she takes up a shit load of screen time in PQ2 (I don’t care Hikari is a shut in, gdi Fuuka earned that spotlight in dungeon 3, it makes no sense why Futaba would do it, hell Fuuka should’ve been chiming in due to her knowing what it’s like to be bullied, same with Rise iirc she was also bullied, like god damn, PQ2 really went “We’re gonna give all the screen time to P5 kids even tho they won’t really do jack shit with most of it, and just have P3/4 kids chime in enough to remember they exist”) 

Basically I don’t like what she brings to the table, esp since the game makes us rely on her. She doesn’t spark the exact same amount of rage that Makoto does (tho if you saw me my last playthrough during Futaba’s dungeon I’d say it’s pretty close), but it does feel insulting from a long time fan/lore fiend/just a freaking viewer trying to consume the medium that’s seeing there’s some toxic stuff in her writing (and I don’t mean “toxic” I mean “it’s really bad to freaking think that friends will fix your mental health, it won’t, and it’s unfair to you and your friends to even think of putting that onto them” bad levels of thinking). 

I also find she’s a wasted opportunity, such as “oh what if we solved this mental illness with supernatural means? what could possibly go wrong? Esp with how drastic the change is for other people we’ve done it to! :D” *cough* *cough* If only they figured out that’d be kinda interesting *cough**cough* Oh mean what a violet coughing fit, I mean violent.... >.> *in a bad canadian accent* I really need soome air eh?..........8U ANYWAY, the biggest role she serves (besides spotlight stealing to justify having a hacker), is a connection to her mom and showcasing that even “good people” can have palaces.....sadly the latter seems to fall on deaf ears on even fans of this game.....and the writers/characters. So uhhhh good job failing at the latter (for awhile at least), and uhhh....we could just NOT have the former! I think the gov could be shady without them also getting in on supernatural stuff but that’s just me. 030

[pixelgrotto]

The horrific Resident Evil playthrough, part six

Resident Evil Zero starts with a bang and a wonderfully tight example of level design, as new STARS member and series cutie pie Rebecca Chambers investigates the Ecliptic Express, an Umbrella-operated train that’s become the testing ground for an early version of the zombie virus. On the train, she meets an escaped convict named Billy Coen, and the two of them have to blast their way through tight cars filled with bio-weapons and a great number of leeches, which play an important role in this game, before finding a way to stop their Orient Express outta hell.

I adored RE Zero’s Ecliptic Express, partly because I have a thing for old locomotives and also because it reminded me of 1997 adventure game The Last Express, but with zombies. The environment also felt wonderfully fresh, since aside from the ruined Raccoon City briefly featured in RE 2 and more prominently in RE 3, the majority of the series has, thus far, been content to fall into a fairly standard cycle of settings - mansions, ruined industrial complexes and underground laboratories. What better way to inject some variety into this mix than with a Gothic train, perhaps the perfect environment for a survival horror game thanks to its many rooms, narrow hallways and plentiful hiding spots for the walking dead? Unfortunately, the Ecliptic Express is more or less the highlight of RE Zero’s environments, and once Rebecca and Billy crash the train and end up in an old Umbrella training facility, the game once again falls back into the trope settings that Capcom was content to recycle. This was a disappointment, but RE Zero injects some unusual, experimental shifts into the gameplay experience that make up for packing its most atmospheric surprises into the first hour, though not all of them are entirely successful. Chief among these is the partner zapping system, which has players controlling two characters at the same time and occasionally separating them to solve puzzles, like when Rebecca has to stand on an elevator to reach a higher area and Billy has to work the controls. It’s good stuff, since if one thing has become clear to me since beginning this RE journey, it’s that the series has always harbored fantasies of being a partner affair but never was quite able to figure out how to do it. Previous games would only feature very brief sections where another character accompanied you, and the rest of the time, they would keep making ridiculous excuses for why they needed to split up, kinda like members of the Scooby-Doo gang. With Becca & Billy, finally this nonsense has been done away with, and while you now have twice the amount of inventory management to wrangle with, it’s great to finally explore these secluded, dangerous environs with some backup. The fact that Becca & Billy are actually good characters with chemistry helps, and while it’s understated, the story gradually forces them to trust each other more and more. It all stays mutually respectful and there’s no forced romance angle (even though I totally ship these two), but when Billy gets into a bit of a tight spot near the end of the game and Rebecca desperately shouts out his name in panic, you can sense how much she’s bonded with him through their shared night of terror.

I mentioned inventory management, and this leads me to RE Zero’s other big surprise - the magical connected item boxes that have been a series save point trademark are completely AWOL in Zero, and players can actually drop their stuff anywhere, a first in the franchise. Apparently, the devs implemented this to take advantage of the nonexistent load times of the cartridge-based Nintendo 64, which was supposed to be the original platform for this game. (Prototype footage of the N64 version exists and looks impressive, though the ROM’s never been leaked, unfortunately.) I’ve also read that they did it to bump up the difficulty level and intentionally go back to the essence of Sweet Home, the grandpappy of the series.

I thought Sweet Home was a fantastic hidden gem, but the limited inventory space and necessity to drop your items was actually my least favorite part of the gameplay, since it led to lots of housekeeping and backtracking where you’d realize you needed a particular tool but had left it on the ground ten screens away. And this problem exists in RE Zero as well, which is probably one of the lead criticisms that the game faces on the internet. In my opinion, Zero’s backtracking is nowhere near as bad as in Code Veronica, but there were definitely large stretches of the game where I was simply picking up all my crap and moving things to save point rooms, which I basically converted into makeshift item storage halls. There are also a lot of items in the game, like the hookshot, which take up two slots in Becca & Billy’s precious inventory space and aren’t used for a long time only for the game to suddenly drop a “hey you need this to progress” moment, which is liable to piss folks off. I can understand the devs wanting to make things harder, but there’s a fine line between challenge and annoyance, and Zero’s inventory wrangling occasionally enters the realm of the latter. It would’ve been best if the team had given players the ability to drop their stuff and included the traditional item boxes, but unfortunately, it seems like they were operating under the mentality of “we’ll give you ONE freedom but take ANOTHER away, muahaha!”

In the end, I was able to forgive most of the item problems thanks to the fact that I liked Rebecca and Billy so much, and I had more fun with RE Zero than most of the fanbase, which tends to view it unfavorably. If I were to rank all the classic Resident Evils, I’d actually put Zero right under REmake, RE 2 and RE 1, and in my eyes, it’s better than RE 3 and Code Veronica, which end up on the bottom of my list for different reasons. (RE 3 is competent fun but kinda by-the-numbers, and Code Veronica remains the only Resident Evil game which really felt like a slog the more I played of it.) 

Why then does Zero end up getting so many apathetic reactions? Well, it’s probably because aside from the inventory management problems, this game feels a little unnecessary, which is an issue that most prequels suffer from. Zero was advertised as revealing the details behind the tragic mission of the Bravo STARS, the team that you learn was slowly massacred over the course of Resident Evil 1. Unfortunately, aside from Rebecca and a few token cameos, the Bravo guys are barely in the game at all, and most of the plot revolves around the background of Umbrella and a case of backstabbing and industrial espionage where one of the original founders, James Marcus, was killed by his colleagues. Marcus, who created the zombie virus via experiments with leech DNA, was resurrected by the very leeches he experimented with, and now he’s out for revenge.

All of this is vaguely interesting, but if I’d been a hardcore RE fan back in the day and was promised a prequel that revealed the fates of the Bravo STARS only to be given a side story about a dude and his leeches, I’d probably go WTF. Capcom dropped the ball on their storytelling by providing something that nobody was really asking for, in other words, and I’ve found out through my meanderings on the Resident Evil Wiki that The Umbrella Chronicles, a spinoff game for the Wii, actually delves deeper into the deaths of Bravo team. That’s the sort of stuff Zero should’ve focused on in order to feel more needed in the grand scope of Resident Evil. Another option might have been to ax the prequel concept entirely, which leads me to another thought that’s only appropriate to bring up now that I’ve finished all of the “old school” Resident Evil games.

If it had been up to me, I probably would have plotted the course of the series differently after RE 2, which contains an interesting nugget of information hinting at an Umbrella Europe base that was never expanded upon to its full potential. The game seems to indicate that Jill, Chris and Barry are going to Europe to investigate and shut down this facility, and just about EVERY strategy guide, article and bit of speculative message board posting I can find from around that time was obsessed with this concept. It seems like everyone thought that Resident Evil 3 was going to be a rollicking European adventure…and it wasn’t, it was instead a game that took place at the same time as RE 2 and explained how Jill escaped Racoon City. Code Veronica never really expounded upon this tidbit of lore either - we get a very brief intro with Claire Redfield investigating an Umbrella headquarters in Paris, but then suddenly she’s captured and the vast majority of that game takes place on an island near South America.  I can’t help but feel like a massive opportunity was missed here, and if I’d been in charge of Capcom’s scenario division for these games in the late 90s, I would’ve changed the plot of Code Veronica and basically made that one Resident Evil 3 (which it was originally going to be if Capcom hadn’t wanted to keep the “main” RE games on a Sony console). I would’ve made it an adventure with Jill, Chris and Barry in Europe, and near the end I would’ve brought Claire in to join them and fight alongside her brother. Then, I would’ve made a spinoff game simply titled “Resident Evil: Nemesis” or something of the sort, and taken the general “escape Racoon City” plot of RE 3…but had it star Rebecca Chambers.  See how nicely that would’ve worked? Fans would’ve gotten their detailed peek at Umbrella Europe and the return of the classic combo of Jill + Chris + Barry. The weird Ashford siblings and Code Veronica doofus Steve could’ve still been incorporated into the story. Meanwhile, Rebecca could’ve starred in a game that felt necessary, since the beginning scenes of destroyed Racoon City were some of the best bits of RE 2, and there’s no reason why she couldn’t have met escaped convict Billy Coen while escaping the city. They could’ve worked together to flee from Nemesis, and I guess the mostly forgettable mercenaries of RE 3 could’ve made an appearance as well. 

Sadly, I don’t work at Capcom, and they planned these games totally differently. We finally would go to Europe proper with Leon Kennedy in the next RE game, but that one would mark a shift in both storytelling and atmosphere, as Resident Evil quickly transitioned away from its horror roots…and into the realm of fast-paced shoot ‘em up action.

Resident Evil 4 is next, and the playthrough continues! 

All screenshots taken by me. For more, check out this Twitter thread showing my step-by-step progress through the game.

[renmaru]

you know. sometimes i love something a lot so i need to scream about the things that piss me off about it. i don’t think this is a particularly negative post but it’s just like sheer frustration and if you dont get some satisfaction from articulating your frustration into tumbler dot coms longposts and destroying the capital of this website because you are not a gemini sun then like fair i guess feel free to disregard this. tonbokiris kiwame is cool go look at that.

now to the lukewarm tea ive been simmering for five years. the one thing i always think about all the time is that tkrb is a popular game despite itself. the piss poor gameplay with only the barest of bare QoL in the five years its been up, the seeming complete lack of direction and the frankly nonexistent worldbuilding is held up purely because of its attention to detail and reverence to the original culture and history of the swords combined with some very good character design and subtle but nuanced character writing that can be openly interpreted. just enough flavour to imply something larger but chickening out on actually making anything y’know. concrete. basically allowing the fans to draw their own conclusions. but even then a game like that would not survive cause there have been countless, hundreds of games with high quality and fervent attention to detail and respect for the source material that just died completely because they have such little to actually offer in terms of engagement. i think the main thing that bugs me about tkrb is that it has one of THE most creative, dedicated and strong fanbases of this genre of game who go out of their way to engage with any and all of the content and the devs seem kind of oblivious to this.

in comparison to modern gacha style games, touken ranbu releases barely any new content and frequently recycles content but somehow it’s still relatively popular with approx. 1mil active players daily but the maddening thing is that tkrb can reach much MUCH further. the fans are there, the curiosity is there, it’s just the game content is not fucking there. it does not put the effort into commissioning seasonal art, pushing new events with actual plotline/story content, creating promotional materials, tie-ins etc. but somehow its still in the top 5 comiket circles for nearly five fuckin years straight. here are your badley compiled receipts: c89(w2015), c90(s2016), c91(w2016), c92(s2017), c93(w2017), c94(s2018), c95(w2018), c96(s2019)

 it can launch itself from laughably low in the appstore ratings, hovering in the middle of the 200′s to TOP 30s in the appstore at the flick of a switch. what is this magic button that fucking quadruples revenue and skyrockets your app into the top 50 grossing apps? 3/4 of your characters getting static CGs that you cannot use at all anywhere in the game but will do a powerpoint transition and appear for 5 seconds at login. oh and like a few free mats i guess. and i kid you not it fuckin worked.

wanna know why that worked? it’s cause otherwise characters, especially fan favourites just don’t get anything at all. it’s like most characters outside of the very popular ones rarely get new art, new recollections, new anything outside of their kiwame upgrade which is more often than not years down the line and only recently, four years in, they decided to add alternate costumes but even then there’s a catch which has me feeling some kind of way.

and yes, i fully understand that tkrb is a multi-media franchise, i get that it’s got its fingers in so many pies like the stageplay, musicals, various manga anthologies, the animes, hell its even got live action but man, would it hurt to give some love in game? i’m not asking them to go full fgo route and commission the industry creme de la creme to make 6 full CE illustrations, lots of promo art and tonnes of new merch every single month. but the fact is for such a big franchise, reusing the same sprite art on nearly every piece of official merch, going so far as to add NEW costume art which is just the heads of the old default sprites edited onto new bodies? it screams cost cutting, it screams lazy, the path of minimum effort. it’s almost like the game itself and the original materials are an absolute afterthought at this point with only the most dedicated hanging on to it. i guarantee that the majority of people still playing tkrb are the committed day1 players and the actual rekijou cause it’s just painfully offputting to new fans, with other fans even going out of their way to specify the game is not integral to enjoying the series which sucks, but it’s true.

its a real damn shame to think that something you are so invested in is not particularly invested in itself. sometimes, just sometimes i wish they dev team for tkrb was more hands-on, more adventurous, more willing to listen to players, invest in the game and genuinely try and make the game the best it can be. i’m not asking for balls to the wall summer events, beautiful animated CMs from the likes of the industries best animators, i’m not asking for pages of supplemental lore compiled into books, character backstory novels or whatever i’m just asking for the lore and the characters that we love to sometimes occasionally be remembered in the actual game outside of like ... the two years between their kiwame and the vague possibility of a recollection. i want to feel like this game puts as much effort into itself as the fans do towards it.

it’s a painful truth but there’s one shining light which is that the fandom for tkrb is genuinely one of the most committed and transformative ones ive ever seen. i have never been involved with a fandom that varies so widely and puts in so much effort for these characters and this world. tkrb exists solely as a popular franchise due to the sheer legwork of the fans carrying it on their backs collaboratively. ultimately, tkrb is very very lore-light, there’s so much thats missing and the characters in-game rarely rarely interact with each other. the characters are contained solely in however many voice lines they get at implementation, their kiwame letters, and their updates kiwame lines and the only interaction they get with other swords is recollections or depending on the sword, the odd custom sparring lines.

but despite that there has been so much fan effort to explore everything in so many different varied ways, and amazingly there are certain tropes, relationships, lore etc. that have started off fanon and become canon. the fan community, especially the fanartists, doujins, writers, animators etc. being given a small indulgence by the anime is one of my favourite things about tkrbs relationship with its fanbase. that’s not to say that the fans dont give back in kind a hundred fold.

there’s so much i love about tkrb fans going out of their way to go SEE historical swords in japan, single-handedly reforging swords using crowdfunding and revitalising lots of small-town tourism having real world impact. shit makes me unbelievably happy. the stage plays and musicals are always met with warm reception and are always well attended and even though its hard to access, there are lots of western fans who have dived into a whole new MEDIUM that most of us arent really familiar with but out of their love for tkrb theyve done that. they have hosted the musical as far out as india and france, making tkrb a truly worldwide franchise and there theyve met full seats! as far out as india! then theres the fantranslators, who always have the drive the commitment and energy for the thankless work, the wiki always always is well maintained and they have new content up so fast, and there are so many people willing to help you out. even when crunchyr*ll got hanamaru s2 (i think) a week late and we were left without subs for the premier episode for a whole ass week, fantranslators who had never subbed before stepped up to translate a whole episode for FREE, encoding, subbing and timing it all despite never having done so just so others could understand the episode faster than cr*nchy themselves could. even, as well, it’s made so many history nerds out of a whole bunch of people, it’s created an appreciation for nihontou and japanese history that would otherwise probably never be in their orbit because of how inaccessible it is, especially in english. even on a personal note, i started learning japanese primarily so i could understand tkrb and the history behind it better and to read jp fanart/interact with fanartists.

 no matter what, i am forever warmed by how much i love tkrb and its fanbase and im glad that tkrb is still going strong, even despite itself sometimes and i hope that moving on tkrb tries new things, and becomes better for everyone.

[akedaran]

Okay so

Oh boy. Okay. I’d love to talk about all things Overwatch with you! Just… be prepared for some salt about certain characters. These are just my opinions.

I’m gonna put this under read more because this is gonna be long, my friend.

OKAY okay so. Let’s start at the beginning. The Overwatch timeline is really, really confusing. The Overwatch lore is confusing in general. I have no idea what happens when, but thankfully someone (I can’t remember who, but they’re a savior) made a reasonable timeline of the Overwatch events.

However, new things keep getting added and I’m???? I’m confused but. Like. The Uprising event. I thought Ana died 10 years prior to present Overwatch time but the Null Sector mission took place 7 years ago so like???? You just have to freestyle. The timeline is basically nonexistent so all I have to say on that is I just do whatever the hell I want with the timeline and nobody makes a fuss because we all share that apathy. No one cares about the timeline. It’s not even worth the effort to try to piece it together.

And I mean, the information we have on most of the characters is really vague??? I mean it gives me a lot of room to experiment and stuff but I’d love to have something solid on the characters that aren’t part of the original strike team or the Shimada Bros (because god knows how much Chu favors those two).

Like, D.Va, Symmetra, Zarya, Mei, Emily… they get ignored. Entirely. We only have mere snippets of them to work with and even then, I don’t have a fucking clue. It’s upsetting, really, but I assume (and hope, and pray, and wish, and need) we’ll get like a comic or an animation on one of theme here soon.

Well, we’d better. Or something for Pharah or Mercy because I SWEAR TO GOD if its something for the characters that already have SUBSTANTIAL LORE to work with I’m gonna be upset. I’m already upset. I’ll just be even more upset.

Like at this point there’s only a select few characters I even relatively give a shit about? But I figure I’ll just go through every character and state my opinion on them.

Genji - “I NEED HEALING I NEED HEALING I NEED HE—“ This is the ultimatum of Genji. He’s a double-edged sword. I can’t find it in myself to like him, not after everything. I won’t let myself say that I hate him, but I just… I can’t appreciate his character. In theory, his design in aesthetically appealing, and his backstory is dark in a way that I might have been able to enjoy were it not Genji. But at this point, he’s too far out of reach. His gameplay is not one that works well with mine, as a Mercy main, and the people who play him are THE MOST toxic in all the Overwatch community, hands down. And when I don’t heal him, Genji players don’t understand that maybe it’s because I have no idea where the fuck they are. Maybe it’s because they’re on the other side of the goddamn map and boy, would I love to heal you, but I can’t if you aren’t within reach of my health noodle. Maybe it’s because they’re jumping head first into the enemy team, and I may be healer, but my priority first and foremost is to keep MYSELF alive, so if you die in .2 seconds it’s not my fault.

In my opinion, Genji contributes nothing to a team, and where Overwatch is TEAM FOCUSED game, I can’t see the point in having him on a team. I can’t see the point in risking my life to heal him. I don’t see what he brings to the table. I won’t let myself hate him because Genji, as a character, deserves better than what people who play him make him, but I don’t see his value.

McCree - I could care less about McCree. I don’t have a set opinion in him. His character is extra in a way that is almost comical, and I can appreciate the McCree & Pharah sibling dynamic. It’s cute. And McCree is fun to play, I will admit. But as for what happens to him, I could care less. His character interactions are boring. His personality isn’t interesting. So while I don’t dislike him, simply because he’s fun and weird, I really just don’t care about him. At all.

Pharah - I LOVE HER I love her so much. I love Fareeha “Pharah” Amari. I love her because she’s everything you need for a commander, and I love her because she loves everyone. Like, she can be stern and strategic and harsh but she also cares so much for her teammates. I love her because of her morals— her tendency to defend, her instinctual need to protect. This is her life. This is what she was born to do— protect, and love, and if anyone should be the face of net-overwatch it had damn well better be her. I love her because her comfort can be the wisest of words and it can be the smallest of brushes of shoulders in the hallways and I love her because both of those comforts can mean the same thing in different contexts. I love her because when her mother left, she wasn’t understanding, fucking hell she was bitter. And you can hear it in her interactions that, maybe, she’s still bitter, she’s still mad at her mom for leaving. She certainly isn't upset for her mother putting her work above her child, but she’s bitter because she’s doing what she loves in protecting people and the only thing she can think of is how much her mother would disapprove. I don’t like what the fandom has done to her in making her character revolve solely around her mother, because while Ana certainly made her who she is, she doesn't define her. She’s the Strike Commander that the new Overwatch deserves.

Reaper - At the beginning, before we had any background on what he was like before the fall, I disliked him. I thought he was boring and his gameplay was dull and he was just some angsty teen wearing every clusterfucked article of clothing in Hot Topic. But now, now that I have lore, I love this man. I love his dedication and the fact that it wasn’t jealousy, it never was, but it was the fact that Overwatch wasn’t doing jack shit while the world crumbled in London. He deserved so much more than what he got— his strike team of fuck-ugly Overwatch rejects. Talon fucked him up but I think, deep down, he’s still just sad about what could have been and he just wants to take Widow and Sombra on vacation to Hawaii and not have to think about war or blood or Blackwatch or Talon ever again. If Pharah is the leader Overwatch needs now, he was the leader Overwatch deserved but never got, the one who cared about the troops and the cause so much that he would go so far as to forsake the law to fight for what he believed in. Easily one of my favorites.

Soldier: 76 - FUCK THIS MAN fuck him and his stupid white bread face and fuck his dumb aimbot let and FUCK the 12 year olds who can’t aim that play him. Fuck the people that see him as some dumb fucking father figure because he’s not he's a dumb, salty asshat who can’t accept the fact that Overwatch’s fall was his own dumb fault like the selfish fucking motherfucker he is. But most importantly, FUCK his stupid, unoriginal gameplay and his stupid unoriginal backstory. Blizzard thought they were being clever when they took Call of Duty and slapped a Yankee cap on it and called him Soldier: 76 but they weren’t. Fuck this dumb blonde-haired-blue-eyed poster boy that can’t get over his cardboard ass. Fuck him.

Sombra - Her voice actress is a gift and her gameplay is actually super useful if used correctly and her character has a lot of potential and dynamic, especially with Reaper and Widowmaker, but I just can’t get super into her??? Like she’s really, really cool in terms of overall design and people who write her, kudos to you, but I can only appreciate her from a distance. Sometimes I wish I could like her more, but I can’t I just… can’t. She’s not for me.

Tracer - SHE’S SO IMPORTANT so important in so many ways. First and foremost, she’s the face of Overwatch and she’s gay and that’s cool. That’s super cool. I mean, it’s a small step forwards, but it’s a step in the right direction. Furthermore, she is important in that she is the heart and soul of Overwatch. She is what makes it a hero organization. She gives it that natural, friendly appeal. But even further, she loves so freely and openly. But she’s not perfect, and thats what I think is the best thing about her. She couldn't save Mondatta, and she beat herself up over it. She fell through time and space and she wasn't fine afterwards. She still isn't fine, but the most important thing is that she moves forward. That’s why she is one of my top three favorite characters. (In relation to There’s Blood in the Water, I gave her the ‘healing hands’ trope for this reason. It’s in her nature to care, so when she helps Hana along her way, it comes naturally to her not because she pities Hana, but because it’s in her nature to care.)

Bastion - Play of the Game Simulator 2k17. A one-button masterpiece of a game where you look in one direction and shoot and wow! Look! You got a kill. Good job, you special snowflake you. A+ gameplay 10/10 would recommend.

Hanzo - I don’t like him. He’s just a fucking idiot is what he is. Nothing, absolutely nothing of what he did to Genji was justified. Like, if I was mad at my brother for enjoying the simple things in life would I be mad? I mean, sure, but like if I were the heir to the empire anyways I wouldn’t see a damn problem. But like, even if I were mad, why the fuck would I kill him over it? It just makes no fucking sense. There’s no reason. There is absolutely no reason someone should ever be so angry as to see murder as the only solution. There’s just no situation, especially with a sibling, someone you share your flesh and blood and your fucking life with, where murder is justifiable. Hanzo fucked up when he ‘killed’ Genji and any guilt he feels by that decision is what he deserves. Anything that comes his way, he fucking deserves that shit. Honestly, he’s lucky that his brother found in in himself to forgive him because, if like, my older sister tried to kill me because she was upset I was having sex rather than, say, paying my bills, I would be pretty fucking upset.

Junkrat - This dumb fcuking garbage man. You don’t need to aim to play him. You don’t need any level of experience with Overwatch to play him. Honestly he’s just so dislikeable???? I honestly can’t believe there are people that actually LIKE his character and ENJOY his play style. It’s just… so hard for me to believe. He’s so dumb. He’s SO DUMB. You don’t need to AIM to play him. And the people that ship him with Symmetra and Mei I’m just??? You really think they would let him within 10 feet of them??? Because you are sorely mistaken. This stinky rat man needs to go in the trash bin where he belongs.

Mei - Okay like she’s actually a fucked up character?? People overlook the fact that she was the sole survivor of the Ecopoint incident. Like, can you imagine that? Waking up one day after everything had gone to shit, coming out of the cryopod and looking around and realizing that you were the only one that made it out alive. And it would be weeks before help arrived so just waking up every morning and seeing those frozen bodies in the windows of the cryopods. Can you imagine what that would do to someone? So like the fact that she is able to stay so upbeat and focus on her dreams is beyond me. Like the nightmares from that shit would be fucking wild. Just… respect Mei, man. She’s got her scars.

Torbjörn - I mean, despite the nonexistent level of skill that is required to play him, he’s not that bad? I like envisioning him as a total family man. Like, drops everything to cal his wife just to tell her he loves her. Even in the middle of battle. Loves all of his children and sends them souvenirs from wherever his missions take him. Names every single one of his turrets and encourages them, like ‘I believe in you, Linda, you can do it!’ or ‘Come on Olaf, just a little longer and then we win!’ I feel like he would just… take in anyone under his wing. You need help fixing something? He’ll help. You need to rant? He’ll listen. Albeit, it’s in a bit of a roundabout way, but he has seven kids and he knows how to listen. Fuck Dad: 76, where are my Dad Torb fics? You know, the guy who actually has children?

Widowmaker - Out of every character in this goddamn shitting addictive game, I think her lore is, by far, the most interesting. Capture by Talon and programmed to kill her husband at just the right moment, then released back under pretenses that everything was fine— I doubt even she knew what was wrong with her until it was too late, and then that guilt was manipulated and twisted until they had their perfect weapon. The Widowmaker. And I think, subconsciously, she’s aware of what she’s done, aware that she’s messed up beyond repair and that she’s done horrible things. And I think that’s what drives her to, eventually, let herself be taken in by Overwatch (purely a headcanon of mine). Eventually, she will have a redemption arc, and it will be long and hard and she won’t be the same. The idea that Amélie is still in there, somewhere, is pretty childish in my opinion because nobody’s the same after torture, and on the degree hers was supposedly at, there’s no possible way. She won’t revert back to what she was. After all that happened to her, she’ll never be the same. But she can start over.

D.Va - DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON D.VA don’t even. I love her SO FUCKING MUCH. I love her SO MUCH that I wrote 85k words that’s basically torture porn that was put in a blender with a healthy dose of introspection and PTSD. I love her character, I love her gameplay, and more than anything else, I love her ult. But I also hate her, and before you ask why, I’ll make my case.

I hate what this fandom and Blizzard have done to her. I fucking hate it. There’s nothing that could get me to hate you more, or shut you out of my life more than saying you think the ‘gaming gremlin’ thing is funny. Because that shit’s disrespectful. It attacks D.Va’s character and it attacks gamers and it attacks 19-year-olds and the case they make? “It’s funny. It’s just a joke.” No. Shut the fuck up. That shit hurts. You don’t know how hurtful it is. You don’t know how hurtful it is to be disrespected like that. And that’s why Blood in the Water is the way it is because I know that shit and it fucking hurts.

The only thing I could possible hate more than that is infantilizing her. Is lowering to such a standard where she’s nothing more than a child in a catsuit. There is nothing more disrespectful than taking her character— a soldier, a war hero, a celebrity, and a survivor— and thinking: “She’s just a child!” Fuck you. She’s nineteen. She’s every bit an adult as the rest of them. She has seen war and she has seen death. People she loved have died. Her home was destroyed, but that doesn't matter to the fandom, does it? They take her and degrade her into nothing more than Jack Fucking Morrison’s “baby girl” and there’s nothing that makes me angrier. Write stories about her and her PTSD. Write stories about her and the imminent guilt that comes with being a commander in a war. Write stories about her coping with the weight of a country on her shoulders. But I swear to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, don’t write stories about her being nothing more than a fucking Dorito imp. Because I see enough of that shit in her tag already.

Orisa - I mean, I don’t really have enough information to come to a solid conclusion about Orisa, but I can go with some basics. Her gameplay is a little dull— it copies off of way too many preexisting characters. Her design is fucking brilliant, but her skill set is almost as dull as Soldier: 76’s. Despite that, I actually like her quite a bit— she’s the Baymax of Overwatch, and Efi’s the Hiro. I’d let this centaur robocop lady hold me any day.

Reinhardt - I love sad grandpa who just wants to support everyone in whatever they do. He’s such a pure and wholesome character. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, you can bet your ass he’ll pick you up off the ground and help you the rest of the way. He cares so deeply about his comrades, and I think that’s what makes him such a lovable character. He just cares so deeply, even about people he doesn’t know too well. Love this grandpa. Also, did I hear dad figure to Mercy because you bet your ass I headcanon that shit.

Roadhog - I often forget he’s a character until I get hooked through 16 walls, the multiverse, and my entire team. It’s a fucking adventure.

Winston - He’s trying his best to lead Overwatch but I don’t think he’s cut out for it. And honestly, his character is really bizarre in a way that I don’t even know how to react to it. He’s a genetically modified gorilla from the fuck shitting moon, not to mention he can talk and his only friend is an unbelievable mom-like voice on a futuristic iPad. He’s like McCree in that he’s extra, but it isn’t even funny with him. It’s just plain weird.

Zarya - Zarya, I feel, is the most underrated in Overwatch’s roster. You don’t see any stories delving into her, you don’t see lore in her favor. She has few character interactions (but the ones she has are, by far, amazing). I would love to see more work of her, just because she’s such a likable character (come on, that pink hair just takes the cake). Maybe, someday, I’ll get around to writing her more because writing her is fun as all hell. I just want her to hold me in those big, strong arms of hers and make my depression and anxiety back the fuck off. Holy damn. She’s like the cool older sister that everybody needs.

Ana - Honestly, I’m actually kind of bitter about Ana. I can’t forgive what she did to Pharah. I don’t understand why or how she could bring herself to do that. But I believe that, more than any other character, she has the potential to make amends. You can tell, in the dialogue they have, the backstory they could potentially share, that they want to make amends, but it’ll be hard because who can blame Pharah for being bitter? Ana understands. In fact, she probably thinks she deserves it herself. I can’t imagine how guilty she would feel, how much she would worry that after so long, her only daughter might not want anything to do with her anymore, but she’ll try because she refuses not to make amends before her time comes. And, in time, things will ease into the way it should have been all along, and all she can think of is how lucky she is to have such a daughter.

Lúcio - This boy. He believes in you. The most supportive support to ever support. But his story isn’t that deep. His character is shallow in a way I can’t interest myself in. Like, sweet prince, I love you, but you aren’t really all that important to me. But I will always do my best to protect this boy.

Mercy - You know, when I got this game, I told myself I wouldn’t become a Mercy main. I told myself that because I’d read how hard and unrewarding it was. But now, with somewhere close to 85 hours clocked into her, I can only laugh at myself. And really, it is unrewarding. You gain nothing from playing her. It’s hard and it’s stressful and it makes you bitter and there just… isn't an upside. But I’ll keep playing her because if I’m good at being stressed and bitter and exhausted. My friends jokingly call me the ‘Unsupportive Support’ and really, that’s what Mercy is in-game. But no matter how unrewarding it is, I swear to god, there is NO BETTER feeling than watching your teammates all getting sucked into a graviton surge, knowing they’re going to die, and looking down and seeing that you have rez. There’s no better feeling than gliding in there and watching that 5x appear on your screen and this grin spreads across your face because you know, and the enemy team that failed to kill you knows they’ve fucked up big time. NO BETTER FEELING than a five-man rez.

But in terms of lore, personality, and interaction, she’s actually really interesting and fun to write just because I can relate to her so heavily. There’s no way she sleeps on a normal schedule. There’s no way she’s all sunshine and rainbows and pretty pearly smiles. There’s no way she’s anything other than exhausted all the time, kept awake only by heavy overdoses of caffeine. Like, the so obviously hypocritical factor about her is such a likable work. She makes sure everyone else keeps their health in check and then neglects her own. It makes her feel like such a human character. And her interactions? Some of the best in the game (namely with Pharah because that is the good shit). I love Mercy. Second favorite character, and by far the most relatable.

Symmetra - And here she is, the most ignored, underplayed character in the game. She has like, a grand total of ONE character interaction. And what’s worse is that she’s such an interesting character? Her internal conflict of work vs ethic is such a cool concept, and yet we don’t see anything of it. We just have to speculate. Does she regret what she’s done? Is she aware of the wrongness of it? Her comic didn’t help settle anything other than clarify that, at heart, she really is a good person. She really is just trying to make the world a better place, but the interesting thing is that she doesn’t know, perhaps, that what she’s doing with Vishkar isn’t good. It’s hurting more people than it helps. Her character has so much potential for grown, not that Blizzard will ever delve into it. She has potential to realize what she’s done and it’s not in her to wallow in it, but to do what she can to make it better. Which is why, I think, she joined Overwatch. That’s the thing about Blizzard— their little eggshell biographies don’t show the true intents of the characters, it doesn’t show their scars or their morals. And that’s what Satya needs most— her morals have been twisted from the beginning, her scars covered in invisible ink. Her life, all she knows, has been a lie, and when she realizes that, it’ll be a shitshow.

Also, that death noodle. It melts so fast. Why isn’t she played more? Who needs Reaper as a tankbuster when you could have Symmetra?

Zenyatta - Zenyatta is cool, but I think everyone always overlooks the fact that he’s only 20 years old? Like yeah he’s a monk but if you’ve seen 20 year olds they ain’t exactly saints. Let Zenyatta wear hoodies. Let Zenyatta make off-kilter jokes that no one expects because, well, its Zenyatta. He’s the universal vent-station and resident therapist of Overwatch, but let Zenny have some quirks, too. Writing him is super fun though because it’s just like ‘if I wasn’t constantly having an existential crisis what would I be like?’

[drewlinky-blog]

Feelings about Breath of the Wild

There are some different lenses that you can view this game through. After talking it through with some friends I have a few conclusions about it I want to put down.

I read somewhere on /v/ that it seems Breath of the Wild threw out ALL Zelda conventions, without regard as to whether they were good or bad. There is almost no linear design, there’s no collection of utility items, etc. You’ve probably heard all of that before. However, as I like to do for the rest of the series, I like to view the game through its mechanical aspect and its story driven components separately.

First, the mechanics: I have some mixed feelings here. I feel like the ability to use any weaponry you come across is a good thing for sure, it lends to the scavenging feeling extremely well. No complaints there. However, the lack of a collection of utility items is a serious departure from literally every Zelda game that’s come before. Even the original Zelda had set items you picked up and used regularly, although it was far more rough than in later installments of course. However, in Breath of the Wild these simply don’t exist. The closest you get are the different weapon types, but they break so they can’t be considered reliable additions to your repertoire.

I’m still deciding whether or not this is a good thing, but I’m tending toward it being bad. If literally nothing else, a hookshot would have been an incredible addition because of the increase in mobility. In a game about being able to go anywhere you want (and often including a large amount of climbing), this seems like a really huge oversight. Would have been great to have some kind of apparatus that allows you to scale great slopes or mountains relatively quickly. Hell, make it an optional item that you can only get after completing some ludicrous challenge. That would be great end game material when you’ve already done everything you need to the hard way.

Mechanics aside, the story is a completely different beast. While I feel the mechanical side of this game was largely satisfying, the story was not in almost any way. Arguably one of the more hugely attractive elements of Zelda is its story, which has been lauded because of and since Ocarina of Time. The three goddesses creating the triforce, the relationship between Zelda, Link and Ganondorf, all of the various races and places in the world. Each of these things and more are treated with serious gravity in the Zelda community, as anyone who has been around for a while could tell you. The timeline debate is not something that will be forgotten, at least not for a great while.

This all having been said, let me begin with Ocarina of Time and Skyward Sword. Ocarina of Time basically just took elements from Link to the Past and refined them. If you don’t believe me, go play both of the games again. Their stories are almost the same, with some obvious differences:

Link is awoken from sleep and directed to go on a quest. He promises to assist Zelda. He collects three pendants/spiritual stones in order to gain access to the Master Sword. He is sent into the Dark World/seven years into the future and must travel back and forth between them to accomplish his goals. He must free seven maidens/sages from their respective dungeons in order to access the final boss battle. Blah blah blah. This is a whole ‘nother can of worms for another day.

Long story short, Ocarina of Time did the story better. It provided a baseline for the story of the world and gave us an understanding of where things came from. For the most part, that has remained constant through the rest of the series. Skyward Sword threw a small wrench in this with the introduction of the Goddess Hylia, but based on the setting it seemed okay. I figured that it was just for the purposes of this game being so far in the past that knowledge now lost was still around, or so on. By the time Ocarina of Time occurs, Hylia effectively doesn’t exist, but we still remember the “More Important” ones: Nayru, Din, and Farore.

Except that’s not what happens. Breath of the Wild takes place literally 10,000 years in the future after an event that itself takes place an indeterminate amount of time after every other game in the series (of which timeline we don’t even know. At this point it effectively doesn’t matter anyway). This leads to some weird inconsistencies in the lore of the game.

Namely, Nayru, Din and Farore are pretty much nonexistent in Breath of the Wild, but Hylia is back. What happened so that the three big ones are forgotten completely but the arguably minor goddess is suddenly this all consuming figure in the faith of the land? On a related note, where the hell is the Triforce? I don’t think it’s mentioned by name even once in the entire game. I literally can’t recall a single moment where the word “triforce” is uttered anywhere in the game. The triforce is arguably THE most recognizable symbol of the series and, aside from appearing on the back of Zelda’s hand, it doesn’t show up once and isn’t mentioned even in passing.

The story just feels like oversight after oversight. I would be more excited about the mechanics being done so well if the rest of the basis for the game’s story wasn’t trashed so badly from previous entries. The characters are handled superbly, the gameplay itself is fluid and extremely satisfying, but the motivations for why I should care as much as I want to are not present, or at least not as much as I feel they should be.

The final battle with Ganon is completely underwhelming in every respect. It’s a rehash of the fights with the bosses of each Divine Beast, which were themselves underwhelming, and there’s no story elements in place to make your fight with it feel cathartic or epic. I feel like Twilight Princess was the best in the series at making the final boss fight feel meaningful, and Ocarina of Time isn’t that far behind. There are no less than 4 different fights to take care of in TP, starting with Puppet Zelda and the classic light ball tennis, then Beast Ganon, then horseback combat (well done by the way), and then an all encompassing sword fight between you and the man himself. There is no other fight in the series that feels as satisfying as the final fight of Twilight Princess.

Calamity Ganon fell flat because you don’t really get to encounter Ganon in any meaningful fashion before your fight, either through narrative elements or through a physical encounter. He’s a nebulous evil that you’re aware of the entire time and all of a sudden you fight him. Mechanically speaking it’s not even satisfying because he doesn’t present anything new and he doesn’t challenge you through the base mechanics that much, ESPECIALLY if you’ve beaten the Divine Beasts and are able to cut his health down to half from the get go. It’s a complete wash out of a fight, and then his final form is insultingly easy. In comparison to the rest of the game, it feels like a four year old could complete it with relatively little trouble.

There are more things I’m forgetting to say. All in short, Ocarina of Time is remembered because it pushed the envelope on gameplay AND had a narrative that was unprecedented in scope and composition. Breath of the Wild outclasses it in a lot of things, but OoT manages to put Breath of the Wild to shame in terms of the story elements and gravitas.

I’ll probably think of more things to write down about this as I continue thinking about it. I’ll just reply to this post when I think of them.