#*matty b voice* you thought it was over...ha

[bugprinz]

he's a phone charm fiend TO ME.

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Camera Caught- Matt Sturniolo

Summary: you accidentally left some hickeys on matt’s neck and the fans catch it, start making edits, and matt “punishes” you

Warnings: SMUT, degradation, orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, squirting, oral (female receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex, praising, slight crying.

A/N: I LOVE YOU ALL ENJOYY

PSA: I GIVE NO RIGHTS TO COPY MY WORK OR USE MY WORK FOR “INSPIRATION”

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Matt and I’s relationship has been very very private, we've been trying to keep it that way till we both collectively agreed to go public. Matt was down in the garage filming for a Friday video and I was endlessly scrolling on TikTok, I came across this edit of Matt, I didn't think much of it till i saw the comments.

Mattscupsupremacy: THE HICKEY?! WHO IS SHE?? MATTS A FREAKY GAL

Chrissypoohmylover: UHM MATTHEW?? what a freaky man.. she’s one lucky girl to be getting that fire dick

Nickismyqueen: WHY IS NO ONE POINTING OUT THE FACT HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO COVER IT UP??

Yamother6629: we lost another one girls… Funeral at my place at 6 pm tmr 😔💔

Thefourthtriplet5239: MATT SEEMED SO VANILLA.. who would ever guess that man is kinky?

“No no no” I say panicking out loud and immediately jumping out of bed and running through the house and busting the door open to the garage where Nick, Matt, and Chris are barging into the garage which sends the boys into an immediate panic

“Okay so you can edit this out of the video but it's an emergency,” I say out of breath.

“Girl go the fuck on, you said it’s an emergency, spill let’s go” Nick says snapping his fingers.

“Okay, patience, so I was scrolling through TikTok like normally waiting for you guys to finish filming and I scroll across this Matt edit,” I say trying to find the edit on my phone.

“Y/N how many times do I have to tell you to stop watching edits of me, I'm right here no need to fangirl over me,” Matt says with a sense of cockyness in his voice.

“No no hold on it gets better, so I scroll through the comments cause you know it's funny watching as the 12-year-olds talk about you being their ‘baby’-” start before Chris cut me off

“GET TO THE FUCKING POINT YAPPER,” Chris says throwing his hands in the air

“Says the one who goes on about putting a literal tit milk-drinking infant in the backseat of a car with no car seat. So let's not talk about her yapping” nick defends.

“ANYWAYS, Matt you forgot to cover your hickeys from the other night and everyone knows about it now, cause when you moved out of frame your hoodie must have come down, and there are edits and people calling you ‘vanilla’ whatever the hell that means, and like everyone is wondering who the girl is and I'm like panicking now,” I say with panic in my voice “I know you weren't ready to go public but everyone is like freaking the fuck out” I continue.

“Fuck, I thought the hoodie was a good cover” matt sighs “look its fine well figure it out after I'm done filming just go back inside and calm the hell down” he gives me a quick peck on my forehead and shutting the door of the car.

A couple of minutes later I got a text from matt, normally he does send me the occasional ‘i love you, almost done filming’ message but this one was a little different.

Matty B Rapz 💍

you’re in big trouble for getting us caught

i hope you ain’t tired cause you’re in for a long night

This wasn't out of the normal for Matt to be rough with me but over text? This is new, but I love it. I could feel myself getting soaked at all the possible ways Matt could fuck me, all the positions, thinking of all the ways in which he could make me cum.

After an hour and a half of endless scrolling through TikTok, I can hear the footsteps of Matt through the hallway.

“Hi baby, how was filming?” I say as he walks in the door immediately shutting it and locking it.

“Don't ‘baby’ me, strip,” he says harshly as his eyes darken with lust.

A smirk appeared on my lips, and moved off the bed walking towards him as I placed my phone down on the bedside table and slowly and teasingly removed my pants and shirt leaving me in my light pink lingerie set that I knew drove him insane, the way it hugged my curves, pushed my Brests up with a small delicate flower in the middle, and my underwear that sat and hung onto my hips with another small flower in the middle of it.

“So fucking sexy,” Matt says under his breath causing a light shade of pink to appear on my cheeks.

Matt wraps his arms around my torso and unclips my bra letting my breasts fall and the straps of my bra fall off my arms. He lightly pushes me back so I'm sitting on our shared bed as he places a deep and passionate kiss on my lips.

I yearn for more of his lips but he pulls away from me and starts trailing light kisses down my jaw and to my neck and sucking harshly on my neck so we have matching marks on my neck and soft moans escaping my lips.

“Since you had to go and get us caught,” he starts before sucking harsher in my neck in a pattern this time. “Everyone's gonna know who you belong to now” he pulls away walking back a couple of steps to admire the marks he left on my neck.

‘M’

His initial was spelled out on my neck.

“And you're not gonna cover that up. Got it?” he spits walking towards me and wrapping his hand around my neck.

“Yes, Matt” I whisper out

“Good fucking girl” he removes his hand from my neck and pushes me down so my back is now on the bed flat.

He lowers his body down, basically on his knees, and he leaves kisses down my stomach before kissing over my clothed pussy and a soft whimper comes out of my lips.

Using his teeth he guides my underwear off my legs and throws them on the floor with a smirk plastered on his face.

His face between my legs was always a sight for sore eyes, never failed to turn me on the way his blue eyes always stared at me through his eyelashes. He places small kisses around my thighs eventually making his way down to my dripping pussy and placing kisses everywhere around it but where I need him the most.

“Matt, please” I plead.

“What are you begging for? Use that filthy mouth of yours and tell me what you want” he says harshly.

“I need your mouth, please” i whine.

He smirks and uses his tongue to move up and down my folds collecting my juices he lets out a groan as the taste of my pussy touches his tongue. His lips attach to my clit sucking harshly on it.

“FUCK MATT” My back arches and my eyes roll back basically seeing my brain.

His tongue explores every inch of me as he keeps a steady gaze on me and how my body reacts to his mouth. His fingers trail into my begging hole that's clenched around the air begging to be fulfilled curling his slim fingers upward reaching a spot I could never reach by myself.

“MATT” I scream out as My thighs close his head in.

“Legs stay open” he mutters through my pussy.

His fingers now moving at a pace that's driving me absolutely insane, his muted moans against my pussy is only turning me on more.

“close” i breathe out trying not to strain my voice.

“hold it,” he says muttering against me as his nose flicks my clit digging his face deeper into my pussy. He was almost moaning as much as I was, typically he didn't even care if he cums, he gets off at watching me come unglued from his mouth or fingers.

“Please” I repeat pleading with matt.

“No, you're gonna hold it and you're gonna show me how much of a good girl you can be” he lifts his head continuing his pace with his fingers.

His gaze never left me, the way my back arched off the bed and my eyes rolled back just at his fingers was always so amusing to him.

“You always look so beautiful wrapped around my fingers,” he says smirking down at me and taking his lower lip between his teeth as he continues to arch his fingers inside me.

“PL-PLEA- CUM” i mutter unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Go ahead baby, let it all out” he coos in my ear in a low raspy voice.

The knot in my stomach snaps, and my orgasm hits me like a bus, my legs shake as my cum drips down into his fingers. he removes his fingers licking off my cum from them.

“Face down ass up, I ain't done with you” he says sternly.

I slowly nod turning around and holding myself up by my elbows taunting my ass around in the air. Matt smirks to himself removes his hoodie, and quickly removes his boxers and pants throwing all his clothes somewhere in the room.

I feel the bed dip down from the weight of his knees behind me. He reaches his arm around to my mouth places his hand below my mouth.

“Spit” he says harshly.

I obey spitting in his hand as he uses my spit to rub around the tip of his cock moving his hand up and down to coat his cock.

Matt aligns himself with my entrance and immediately bottoms out letting a loud groan escape his lips as my hips jerk backward and a loud whine leaks from my lips.

“You think you're so fucking innocent huh? Leaving those fucking hickeys on my neck” he spits thrusting harshly into me gripping onto my hair and pushing my head far into the mattress.

“I-im SO-SORRY” I scream into the mattress.

“Oh, you're sorry? If you were sorry you wouldn't be creaming all over my fucking. dick.” he says thirsting harder to annunciate his last two words as his head hangs low to look down at the white rim that's formed around the base of his cock.

“FUCKK” I whine out with tears starting to form in my eyes from the overstimulation. “CANT- CANT-TAKE” I muffle out as his hand pushes my head farther in the bed.

“You wanted this” he grunts “You take it” his hand travels down my body and starts to toy with my sensitive clit.

“OH BABY-” i scream out as my cervix begins to twitch around his cock signaling how close I was.

“Oh you think you're gonna cum soon?” he taunts rubbing faster on my clit as his thrusts begin getting sloppier.

“Pl-pl-please” I whisper yell to him.

“You're so fucking pathetic” he groans out using both hands and pressing my waist down the bed and rolling his hips into me getting deeper and kissing my cervix with his cock.

My legs began to shake and tremble “CLOSE” i choke out. his grip on my waist loosens up as he leans down and kisses my back.

“let it go, baby, let it all out” With that, the knot in my stomach breaks and I squirt all over the bed leaving a wet mess beneath me. “God damn baby you're so fucking sexy” he leaves small kisses on my neck as his thrusts got even sloppier.

“Oh fuck” he buries his head in my neck and groans as his cum begins to shoot out of him filling my hole of his cum.

He softly pulls out of me rolling me over now laying on my back and gives me a soft peck on the lips.

“Let me clean you up, yeah?” he smiles down at me and I shoot him a small smile back.

He throws on the same pair of sweatpants from earlier and walks softly and carefully to the bathroom wetting a small rag and bringing it back into the room.

“You did amazing, Y/N” he smiles up at me as he carefully runs the warm wash rag down my legs and anywhere else that was covered in cum.

“I am sorry about getting us caught, I know that we didn't want to go public just yet” I softly whisper as he makes his way next to me bringing me into his arms and placing a kiss down on my head.

“Hey, don't worry about it. We'll figure it out in the morning. But for now, just get some sleep," he says, running his fingers through my hair and occasionally kissing my head. We eventually drifted asleep, intertwined with each other.

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A/N PT 2 HI LOVES!! IDK how to feel ab this one but i hope you guys enjoyed it! I hope you're doing amazing!! And have an amazing day/night/evening!!

Xoxo

Gabs 💋

[flowerxbunnie]

Hola! Soy Dora! —

okay wait no for real tho.. can you pretty please write a nasty lil big bad b bernard matty boy fic? like where he’s big daddy dom and he’s got an unspoken relationship with y/n? like they’ve not spoken the words, but they belong togetherrr 🎶 okay but for real.. that, and they have a night together where they’re just drinking and vibing with one another (just them) and it takes a turn 😈 and he’s being like all controlling and makes her ride his thigh while he touches himself to the sight, and then and then and then just rails her into oblivion? loooadddds of filthy speak because i am a slut for that right there! pretty please with a cherry on top? 🍒

Carnal

Matt x Fem reader

Warnings: pure FILTHY smut. Dom!Matt, daddy kink, deg/praise, thigh riding etc :)

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OKAY WITH SMUT OR ARE A MINOR

I throw back the last sip of my drink and hand my cup to Matt, the alcohol tasting like candy but burning just the same going down. I take the gummy worm off the rim and suck the sugar off, Matt’s eyes watching my every move closely. My skin is warm and my veins are filled with a buzzing feeling. He stacks the plastic cup on top of the others we’ve collected on the coffee table throughout the night, a chuckle escaping his lips as he counts them in his head.

“Damn, we gotta slow down soon.” He shakes his head slightly. “I’d like to not have a migraine tomorrow.”

“I’m feeling good, don’t know about you Matty boyyy..” I draw out, sitting back on the couch.

He sits back along with me and throws his arm over the back of the couch, turning his body slightly to face me. He has a half full cup in his other hand, his finger circling the rim slowly.

“Oh, I’m feeling good.” he smirks, bringing the cup to his lips and sipping as his eyes stay locked onto mine.

I can feel the slow and steady beat of the bass in my chest, his playlist playing quietly on the speaker on the table. We spend a while scrolling through my liked TikToks, cuddling and laughing together.

I find myself spending most of my Saturdays here in his living room, drinking and talking all night while Nick and Chris are away. My relationship with him is complicated. We’re definitely more than friends, but also less than lovers. I think we both have a problem with labels, feeling far more comfortable leaving things unspoken. I can’t help the thoughts that live in the back of my mind, like an itch I can’t scratch. A worry that maybe I’m not the only one he spends nights like this with. I know he’s my one and only, I can’t even fathom another man making me feel the way Matt does. Whether I’m in his car cracking up at his road rage or in his bed with the headboard thumping against the wall, I’m always filled with insane butterflies for this man.

But even though I’m sure of my feelings, he’s never outright spoken his. We’ve never had the conversation of if we want to date around or keep this situationship we have going on between us two. I feel selfish for wanting him all to myself, but he makes it hard not to.

“You good, baby?” He asks in his raspy voice, the nickname flowing off his tongue like honey and making my heart flutter. “You seem a little zoned out tonight.”

“I’m fine,” I lie, sitting up to grab another prefilled cup off the coffee table. “Just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” He asks and brings his hand to the small of my back, his warm fingertips brushing beneath the hem of my shirt and sending shivers up my spine.

I just shake my head and give him a smile before throwing back a big gulp of my drink, melting against his touch as his hand inches higher up my spine. His rough fingertips run up and down slowly, my tense muscles going soft as he adds pressure.

“You know that’s not an answer, Y/n. Come on, talk to me.” He speaks sweetly as he sits his cup down.

His hand wraps around my waist and pulls me back down next to him on the couch, hooking his hand around my legs and bringing them up onto his lap. The look in his eyes is serious, even through the glaze the alcohol has brought on.

“I don’t know Matt,” I play with my fingers like I always do when I’m nervous. “I’m just having weird feelings tonight.”

His eyes soften like he already knows what I’m going to say. “Tell me, love.”

I sigh and let my back fall into the soft cushions. “I’m just scared.” I start, watching as the look on his face stays the same, unwavering. “I’m scared for the day you find someone else who you’re ready to make things official with. I’m scared that I’m not the only one you fix gummy worm drinks for.”

He chuckles and my heart drops, my suspicions feeling all the more real as he breaks out into a fit of laughter. His hand leaves my legs and comes up to rub his eyes, his head shaking from side to side. “That’s what you’re all worked up about?” He asks through giggles.

I nod and feel the tears threatening to spill over, my drunk emotions amplified insanely. He doesn’t even notice, he just keeps laughing and brings his hand to his chest as it heaves.

“I don’t see how it’s funny..” I speak softly, my voice cracking at the end, my cheeks heating up as my weakness becomes obvious.

He immediately stops laughing, his head snapping back to me and his eyes softening. He brings a hand to my cheek and moves his thumb back and forth, his eyes flicking back and forth between both of mine.

“Baby, I thought it was obvious.” He tilts his head slightly, his eyes scanning my face slowly.

“Do I need to call an Uber?” I croak, still sure that he’s about to tell me I’m dumb for thinking too deeply about the way he felt for me.

“What?” He says shocked, his eyes wide and his hand halting its movements on my face.

It’s like the realization flashes in his brain, he closes his eyes and sucks in a breath. He doesn’t say anything, just brings his hand back to my leg and traces it up to my thigh and gives it a squeeze. My body is reacting in a way I don’t know if I like, blood rushing to my heat between my legs despite the hurt I’m feeling.

But like Matt always does, he makes it all better. “You’re all I need, Y/n. All I want.” His hand trails higher, gripping and squeezing my skin along the way. “You know I’m not good at speaking my mind.”

My breath hitches as his fingers trace around the bottom of my shorts leaving a burning trail in their wake.

“But trust me,” he starts, his fingers dipping ever so slightly beneath the fabric, “I know that you’re it for me. Now stop worrying so much.”

His hand trails back down my leg, my thighs instinctively pressing together wishing for the friction I never got. He leans over and grabs my cup, handing it to me and sipping on his own. “Let’s finish these, hm?”

I grab the cup and down it quickly, squeezing my eyes shut at the burn. He chuckles and tilts his head back, his jawline sharp and defined in the ambient light of the lamps and candles. He sucks his teeth as he grabs my cup and stacks it into his, discarding them along with the rest.

“Take your shorts off.”

I’m taken aback, the conversation feels so unfinished but my head is swimming with thoughts of how his body would feel against my own. I still oblige, hooking my fingers into my waistband and slipping them down my legs, tossing them onto the coffee table. He gives me a slight smirk and grips onto my left ankle, lowering my foot onto the floor. He turns his body to fully face me and brings my right leg to the other side of him. My thighs open and my clothed core is exposed to him.

“You wore my favorite pair.” He coos, his thumb coming up to ghost over the fabric.

The smallest whimper leaves my mouth, my pussy aching for his touch. He moves up slowly, almost as if he’s memorizing the pattern in the lace, his thumb running up to the hemline and resting against my lower abdomen.

“Did you do that on purpose?” He questions, hooking his index finger into the elastic and pulling. “Did you know it would make daddy get all worked up?” He lets go and it snaps against me, a pulsing sting etched into my skin.

“N-no, not on purpose,” I lie, my heart speeding up at the dirty name. I knew damn well what I was getting myself into when I grabbed them out of my drawer.

“I don’t like when you lie, baby.” He moves his hand to my hip and gives it a squeeze. “Tell daddy the truth.” He begins slowly pulling my panties down, stopping when I don’t speak right away.

“I’m s-sorry daddy. I like the way you get so turned on when you see them.” I breathe out, a satisfied hum coming from my throat as he resumes pulling them down.

“That’s better.” He helps me maneuver out of them, bringing them to his face and placing a kiss against the fabric. “I think I’ll keep em’.” He smiles smugly as he slips them into his pocket.

He runs his hands up both of my thighs, his eyes raking up along with his movements. He brings his thumbs against my folds and spreads them open, his eyes darkening as he takes in the sight of my arousal.

“So wet already, baby.” His thumb rubs against my swollen clit once, my pussy clenching in response and a whine falling past my lips.

He bites his lip as he does it again, watching intently almost as if experimenting and seeing if he’ll get the same reaction. He does- my pussy clenches and tightens around nothing and my tender bud begins throbbing. He looks up at me with lust filled eyes.

“I love seeing your pussy beg for me. I’m barely doing anything and you’re already clenching up.”

He presses his thumb down suddenly with increased pressure but holds it still. I arch up and whine out, my heat aching for anything more than what he’s giving me. His free hand roams up my stomach and underneath my shirt, finding my bare breast and toying with my nipple. His thumb remains stagnant and still on my aching clit.

“P-please daddy. Please… more.” I whimper and rock my hips against his touch, moaning as I finally feel relief.

He pulls both hands away quickly, a disappointment filling his expression as he narrows his eyes.

“W-why? I need more.” I pout and reach out for his hands, only for them to be pulled away roughly.

“You wanna get off so bad, huh?” He sits back against the couch. “Do it yourself.”

I suck in a breath, taken aback at his harsh tone. I swallow thickly and bring my own hand down slowly to my heat, shaking slightly as he watches me intently. I begin rubbing slow circles onto my clit, speeding up because my body doesn’t react the same underneath my own touch. I bring my bottom lip between my teeth and close my eyes, trying to imagine it’s Matt’s fingers instead of mine, speeding up and bucking my hips up, desperate for any sort of relief. I keep going and even add a finger, curling it up inside my walls and hoping I’ll feel the euphoria soon.

But I don’t. I let my head fall back in frustration, removing my hands and giving up. I hear him laughing, taking enjoyment out of my struggle.

“Can’t get off without daddy, can you?” I look up as he begins unbuttoning his jeans, a visible bulge straining against the denim.

He pulls them down and keeps his boxers on, his erection still confined beneath the black fabric. He adjusts in his seat, leaning back and opening his legs wider.

“Come on baby. Use my thigh.” He pats his leg and motions his head for me to come over.

I sit up and try to control my shaky breath. Matt’s always been the dominant one, but it’s like something else has taken over, an almost devilish look in his eyes. I position myself onto him, my legs straddled around his right thigh and my pussy hovering above his skin. His hands run up to the hem of my shirt, pushing it up and pulling it over my head. His eyes become half lidded as he drinks in the sight of my exposed chest.

“What are you waiting for, princess? You were so eager a minute ago.” He rasps, his hands settling on my hips and lowering me down to make contact with his leg.

I suck in a breath at the sensation. My mind is buzzing from the alcohol and the arousal, I feel like I’m floating until I focus on the throbbing between my legs. I slowly rock back and forth once, my clit rubbing against his thigh with no resistance, my own arousal lubricating it perfectly. I swear I can see his cock jump beneath his boxers.

I let down all of the weight I’ve been subconsciously holding up off of him, the pressure sending a shockwave through my body as I begin grinding against him. I let out whimpers and moans as I circle my hips, crying out when he lifts his leg higher up to press against me.

“Such a naughty girl getting yourself off on my leg. So desperate that you’ll grind on anything I give you, hm?” He speaks lowly, bringing his arms up behind his head and watching my every move.

I bring my hands down to his chest and run them down until they settle on his abdomen to give myself some stability. My muscles are starting to tire but I keep going, rubbing and grinding against his thigh as my stomach begins to twist into knots. It’s like he knows I’m close to giving up, close to stalling. He begins to bounce his leg over and over, vibrations shooting through my body as his heel comes into contact with the floor roughly.

“F-feels so good, daddy..” I whine out, digging my nails into his shirt and twisting it, needing to do anything to release some of the pleasure flowing through my veins.

His eyes are glossy and dark as his hand comes into contact with his erection, palming it and tightening his grip repeatedly. I watch in awe as his veiny, slender hands work against himself. He pulls his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring up, groaning as he pumps himself. His tip is dripping with precum, swollen and pink with need. He swipes his thumb over his slit to gather it and brings it up to my mouth, rubbing the juice onto my tongue as he presses it into my mouth.

I gain a sudden burst of energy and arousal and begin grinding down against him with everything I can, inching myself closer and closer to release as I watch him jerk his cock underneath me. His free hand reaches up and grasps onto my breast, his large hand encompassing the tissue completely as he kneads the skin. His palm rubs against my taut nipple, sending waves of pleasure shooting through me.

“Come on baby, make a mess on daddy’s thigh,” he encourages, “I won’t get mad as long as you help me clean it up.”

I cry out in pleasure as the knots in my abdomen wind so tightly they snap, the pressure releasing and my thighs shaking as I come apart on his leg. I grind down and my pussy clenches and throbs as my juices leak out onto his skin, his thigh now slick with my release.

“Good girl, that’s it. Such a good job.” He coos and praises, bringing his hand up and stroking my hair as I catch my breath. “Don’t get too comfortable. You’ve got a big mess to clean up.” He motions to the spot where we connect, a sheen of liquid across his skin.

He pushes my shoulders down to encourage me to my knees, and I oblige. I look up at him through my lashes, hesitantly licking a stripe across his leg and tasting myself on him. His hand grips around his cock again, pumping slowly as I kitten lick his thigh.

“Doing such a good job.” he croaks, a moan sneaking it way out.

I continue cleaning up my mess, lapping up all the evidence I had left behind. His motions around his dick become quicker as I pull back for a moment, a string of my arousal shining in the light between my tongue and the skin of his thigh.

His hand stops pumping and comes to lace into my hair, pulling me upwards. I lick up his leg, sitting higher on my knees and trace my tongue up to his base, flattening it all the way to his tip. I take it into my mouth just enough to wrap around his head, sucking lightly and batting my eyes.

“Hmm, don’t even have to be told what to do. Daddy’s precious girl.” He says sweetly while caressing my cheek.

I hum around him and feel my cheeks heat up at the praise. I slowly take more and more of him into my mouth, his droopy eyes watching as I gag at the feeling of his head touching the back of my throat. He smiles in satisfaction, bucking his hips up to elicit the same response once more. My mouth fills with saliva and it drips out and down his length, providing the perfect lubrication for my hand to grip around what I can’t fit into my mouth. I twist my hand around him and his head falls back in pleasure. I bob my head up and down, taking his cock in and out of my mouth as groans fill the room around us.

His cheeks are rosy and his forehead slick with sweat, half from the alcohol warming his body and half from his arousal. He grabs onto his shirt and pulls it over his head, the muscles in his arms and chest flexing deliciously. He wipes the fabric against his forehead before he tosses it to the side, his eyes fixing back onto me with blown pupils.

Both of his hands come down to grip onto my jaw before he disconnects my mouth from his cock, pulling me up with a popping sound. “You’re gonna have to bend over for daddy. Need to feel that tight pussy around me.” His voice is low and commanding, almost rumbling through my chest.

He pulls his boxers the rest of the way down before he grabs my hands, pulling me to my feet as he stands up himself. He turns me around and guides me towards the arm of the couch, pushing me down until my chest is pressed into it.

“Arch up for me,” he instructs, his hands grasping my hips as he helps me get into position for him. “So good at listening to instructions.”

He keeps one hand on my hip to keep me in place as he lines himself up with my entrance, dipping in and out teasingly.

“P-please daddy, I need it.” I speak up, wiggling my ass back and forth in hopes he’ll be convinced.

“Need what, baby?” He taunts, running his tip through my dripping folds until he brushes against my throbbing clit.

“Need… n-need your cock inside of me.”

“Those are such naughty words to be coming out of your sweet little lips..” he chastises and pushes only his head into me. “Tell me more.”

My breath hitches as he gives me another inch, slowly pulling out once again. “F-fuck I… I wanna feel your hands all over me while you fuck me, daddy.”

His hands rub from my ass up to my back leaving a trail of warmth and goosebumps. “Like this? You like when daddy grabs all over you?” He questions, bringing his hands to my hair and making a makeshift ponytail.

I nod and bite my lip to contain my noises as he pulls my head back roughly, bringing his other hand down to smack my ass and rub out the sting. He pushes halfway in and stalls, but I can feel his cock throbbing between my walls.

“You want daddy all you yourself, hm?” He whispers as he releases his grip on my hair and moves his hands down my sides, tracing along my curves before settling on my ass.

“YES! … Y-yes, daddy, please. Wanna be all yours.” I squeal as he bottoms out, his tip brushing against my g-spot.

He starts pumping in and out, his hips slamming against my ass with the depth of his strokes. I reach around desperately, looking for anything I can grip onto. His hands reach down and grab mine, crossing them behind my back and gripping my wrists together with one hand. His other hand squeezes and massages my ass, smacking every now and again to give me small stings of delicious pain.

His thrusts are calculated and controlled as he pounds into me. Our pants fill the air as we inch closer to our climax together, his free hand roaming my body. It’s all slippery and sloppy and animalistic. Lewd, wet sounds echoing into the room and low grumbles escaping his throat.

I feel his dick stiffen to get impossibly hard, twitching and jerking inside of my heat. “F-fuck. Help me out baby.” He croaks as his strokes start to become sloppy.

He releases his grip on my wrist and grabs my hips as I begin meeting his thrusts halfway, throwing my body back against him. My name falls out of his lips over and over in a whisper as his fingers dig into my skin.

“S-so close..” I whine, my head swimming and my stomach clenched.

“Shh.. it’s okay baby. Give it to daddy.” He encourages.

That’s all it takes for me to unravel, my pussy throbbing around him as cries of pleasure sound into the room. He releases alongside me, his warm load spurting into me and filling me up as he continues fucking into me. We continue until we can’t anymore, and he pulls out with a wince.

He pulls my aching body up and spins me around, wrapping his arms around me and placing my head against him. His heart pounds against his chest, so hard I can almost feel it thumping against my ear. Our bodies are sticky and exhausted, but nothing is uncomfortable.

He places a kiss onto my hair, his hot breath fanning down over my shoulders. “Did that tell you what you needed to know?”

I only nod, unable to form words. He pulls back and hooks a finger under my chin to bring my gaze to meet his own. He looks at me intently and comes in to place a lingering, passionate kiss against my lips. When we disconnect he places his forehead against mine and whispers sweet nothings, his soft skin brushing against my still-swollen lips.

He gives me one more kiss. “Let’s go get cleaned up.”

tag list: @lustfulslxt @whotfisade @soursturniolo @recklesssturniolo @lxvlysworld @chrisolivia4l @kiarastromboli @mattnchrisworld @cupidsword @kvtie444 @xplrfear @knowingnothingnoel @karlybbx @chrisfavoritepepsi @mwah0mwah @starsturniolo

[thecynthh]

Gift — M.S.

synopsis • matt gives y/n a present since she passed her exams for the term

warnings • cotton candy fluff, my shit writing

notes • college setting, f!partner, matt n u r dating

author chats • this is my first ever fic !! please give feedback i need validation

also i’ll write a pt 2 with smut in it if yalls like this one 🤗

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i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck

not because he owns me, but because he really knows me

Y/N’s POV

heavy tension finally clears from my shoulders as i take a step out of the thick classroom door. my feet automatically start my treck to a local coffee shop near my building. barely taking a few steps out the door my phone begins to buzz with excitement.

matty b❣️

the nickname flashes on my screen as i pull out my cell phone from the back pocket of my cargo pants. clicking the screen immediately after processing who it was.

“hello?” i say whipping my phone up to my ear.

“hey pretty girl” matt replies to my initial greeting. “so tell me, how’d it go?”

“personally i think it went phenomenal and to make it even better i KNOW it was super amazing” i explain absolutely thrilled by my amazing scores

unlike matt going through school was a necessity. i needed to succeed and i’m glad i had as great as a support that matt has been for the past year. my dream was so close all thanks to him, if he didn’t pull me out of that anxiety slump and put me back to work so soon i would’ve failed this exam.

i soon make it to coffee shop after asking matt how his day went and then getting greeted by the same barista whose been working there since i started at Eastwood.

“by the way i just made it to the cafe, im just going to pick up my coffee then i can head to your place to hang out” i tell my phone. the barista asks if my usual is good in a hushed voice seeing my phone up to my ear. i nod to him while walking over to the pick up side of the counter.

“actuallllyyy you can go straight to your apartment, i have a surprise for you” matt says showing excitement for what he got for me.

“matt, you can’t do this to me, im gunna cry” i reply with a fake teary voice.

a small chuckle echos through my ear. “you deserve it princess, all of it.”

“okay i’ll be home soon, i won’t make you wait much longer, love ya.” i snatch my drink and take a peak outside, snow fell from the coveted sky. matt would love how pretty this weather is.

Matt’s POV

“i love you too-“ that was all i could squeeze in before she hung up on me.

right now i just made it into y/n’s apartment waiting on her to get home, i bought a bouquet of red roses, which were here favourite, and i saw the prettiest necklace and i knew i had to get it for her.

it was held in a small velvet box waiting for its owner to claim it. opening it caused a small showcase light to illuminate the silver “m” that was a matching silver chain.

i thought about her when i saw it on the small mannequin. the only thing that played through my mind while i purchased it was that one taylor swift song she loves. i know swift isn’t really my vibe but she won a bet and got the aux for the car ride, it was catchy but i’ll never admit to liking taylor swift.

soon after fixing the bouquet i hear the lock on the door click and unlock. i hold up the flowers standing near the door with the necklaces box burning a hole through my jean pocket.

the door swings open revealing my girlfriend. my lovely girlfriend. her eyes lit up with glee as she looks at the bouquet in my hands.

Y/N’s POV

all i see is matt with a large bouquet of flowers in his hands and sweet smile drawn on his face.

i yank the large amount of red roses from his hands placing them down carefully on the coffee table near us and dive into his arms.

“thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” i blurt out between each peck on his face. matts face lightly covered in a deep red lipstick he still just stands there waiting for me to done.

“of course princess, im really proud of you for finishing that exam.” he says to me pulling me in even closer.

“but to make it even better….” he trails off while sneaking is hand into his jean pocket. out comes a small jewelry box, he opens it presenting a necklace with his initial on it.

“i remember that song you like a lot, i don’t remember it all too well but i knew it meant a lot to you so-“

“i love so fucking much matty. you have no idea” i rest my forehead against his and slowly connect our lips.

he returns the kiss slowly with his hand snaking around the small of my back tugging me a little closer.

i’ve never wanted to be anywhere else in that moment.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Education

Lesson #6: Mistakes happen

A/N: This was meant to go out earlier. sorry. ONLY TWO MORE TO GO.

Warnings: kinky smut

-----

Amelia felt her breath hitch in her chest at the sight of him. Across the room, she spotted Matty walking into the party space  of the hotel, in his signature leather jacket, his curls slicked back, a faint smile dancing on his lips as he spotted someone — a sound engineer from the studio, probably— and went over to say hello. He leaned forward to give his friend a hug, the chain around his neck sparkling, like a shooting star, underneath the warm glow of the party lights. She thought back to the last time that she’d seen him, the memory of him, naked, on top of her, rushed back to her mind like a current, making her knees wobble. He wasn’t wearing any necklaces then. She would’ve felt the cool metal against her bare skin if he’d worn one. Must be a new addition. The US always did bring out his edgy side. 

Her eyes couldn’t bring themselves to look away from him. He looked good. And she’d missed him. Her hand reflexively raised to adjust the sleeve of her dress. There was nothing wrong with it. 

“Don’t do it, love.” A voice whispered into her ear. 

Amelia jumped, startled at the intrusion. She turned around to see Charli giving her an admonishing look. “Remember what we talked about? C’mon, you need a drink.”

Before Amelia could protest, charli had grabbed her wrist, pulling her along. 

She thought back to the conversation that Charli was referring to, her heart sinking immediately. 

She’d spent the first two days following the release of those pictures of Matty and his model pal, pathetically sobbing in various corners around her apartment. Nights were especially difficult. Time seemed to slow down when everyone else would go to sleep and she was left to her own devices. Without people to distract herself with or errands to keep her schedule busy, her mind would inevitably find its way back to Matty. She would indulge her emotional masochism, scrolling through her phone for photos she’d taken of him throughout the years. It hurt to look at him. Up until now, he’d been a grounding presence in her life. It was impossible not to feel good around him. He was kind, and gentle, and one of the funniest people she knew. His boyish laugh always made her feel warm on the inside. Despite everything that he’d been through over the years, and even with his life growing increasingly public, his privacy shrinking little by little, he’d somehow managed to remain the same sweet and innocent young boy that she’s always known him to be. It was awe-inspiring to witness. He’d put on a front— flippant, sardonic, larger than life, keenly aware of each and every person watching him— moving from dispensing cutting critiques of culture to making dick jokes, giggling at himself and making references that felt like inside jokes between him and every single fan in the room. No one could see that and deny the maturity, resilience, and self-control that it took to make it all feel so effortless. And yet, in perfectly ordinary moments, sitting across the kitchen table from him, jet lagged and sharing a packet of stale cookies that he’d found in his carry-on, she’d look into his red-rimmed, sleep-deprived eyes, and he would smile at her— and just like that, the myth would melt away and he’d be the same idealistic young kid who gets moved to tears by great music, or the stories of fans discovering the band for the first time, or if he thought for a bit too long about the series of contingent events that had to happen in order to bring him and his three band mates together nearly two decades ago for his whole life to turn into what has now become. 

  she could no longer see any of that when she scrolled through the photos. The face that stared back at her was that of a complete stranger. She felt like she no longer knew him. She’d concocted this intimacy, this history, this idea of him. It was merely the fact that his soft way of being in world tended to make everyone around him feel special. It wasn’t difficult for him to forge connections with people, even fans who’d met him for two minutes, on the streets, and asked for a quick photo, could attest to this. Matty always addressed everyone like he knew them. Like they knew him. She was no different than complete strangers across the world, scrolling through their own phones, taking in whatever aspects of his life had been made public, and piecing together an idea of him in in their minds.

The realization that she had no idea what was going on inside his mind all this time did nothing to free her from his hold. It was easy enough to tell herself that he’s just a guy: deeply flawed, perpetually horny, and riding the waves of his new infamy straight into the beds of various beautiful, rich, and sexually experienced young women just for the hell of it, whenever he wasn’t around. Whenever he’d take too long to call, or text back, she'd remind herself of all the things that she found infuriating about him, all the flaws that proved him to be emotionally immature and impulsive. She'd reduce him to the worst version of himself and remind herself that she wasn't unique in that regard. If she wanted to be with an emotionally stunted man child who passed the time by sliding into the dis of women a decade younger than him, she'd go on any dating app and have her pick.Finding an equally attractive man to replace him with while he was busy gallivanting around the world wouldn't be hard, but deep down, she knew that this abstract idea of the man-child-rockstar that she could pin all her grievances on and flick away like a fly in order to regain her self-control was unfair. It wouldn’t hold up to the reality of him when, sooner or later, she found herself in the same room with him again. Matty's undeniable. And that broke her. 

On the third day of carrying on her routine of crying around the apartment and marinating in self pity, her scrolling through old photos was interrupted by a text notification. 

Charli: George says you’re mad at him. I’m sorry he can be such a guy sometimes. We should hang out. Just us girls. 

She’s still fuzzy on the details, but the text eventually led her to George’s place. Charli pouring the wine and sampling through the variety of chocolate boxes she’d picked up on her recent trip to Europe. George hovered between them, occasionally attempting to interject, but always shot down by Charli’s reminder that “no one’s asking you.”

“I’m a fool. Just say it. I’ve been foolish.” Amelia admitted as she handed her glass over to Charli for a refill. 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, babes- oh, this bottles officially deceased- hold on, let me get a new one.” Charli scoffed and stood up, walking around the kitchen to try and remember where she’d hidden a particularly good bottle that she didn’t want George to ‘waste' on the wrong occasion. Boy troubles, especially Matty troubles, seemed the right occasion. “Look, I love Matty, I do. He’s a sweetheart. One of the most talented musicians I've ever met... But he’s a mess!” She’d located the bottle, stifling a laugh as George realized that she’d hidden it out of his reach. “You need someone who’s - mature. Who knows what he wants.”

“Matty’s mature!” Amelia yelled out, snatching the bottle out of Charli’s hand and popping it open. “It may not seem like it sometimes, but he’s the fuckin best.” She poured herself a drink with a dramatic sigh, the conflict draining her. 

“You’re not actually meant to drink that right away, you're supposed to wai- okay you’re just gonna- alright you seem like you need it, so, just… my point is, he’s not ready, yet. He’s in a new girls bed every week!”

“I love him.” Amelia simply stated, the confession came as a surprise to her. but it was true. She could sit here and debate what kind of person Matty was, or what qualities of his would make him a good or bad partner, but it really only came down to one thing: she was in love with him.

Her words hung in the air, feeling even more loaded by the silence that followed. 

“Uh-umm…” George cleared his throat awkwardly. “Have- have you- I mean...does he know that?”

Amelia shrugged. 

“Amelia, darling, I hate to say this, but" Charli gave her a look that Amelia recognized as pity, "babe, you don’t know him well enough to love him.” 

“The fuck I don’t!” Amelia yelled out into the room, slapping the kitchen table assertively. 

Charli giggled, “I like drunk Amelia.”

“I know Matty. I’ve known him my whole life. I mean, he rolled me my first joint and taught me how to smoke it.” Amelia’s reminiscent gaze looked past Charli, into the distance. 

“You needed to be taught how to do it? That’s kind of sweet, actually.”

“Then the boys made a whole thing of it. Like how innocent I was, or whatever. So, I overdid it a little. To prove a point. Anyway, I...got hungry and lost in a grocery store.”

Charli laughed.

“And by lost I just mean I was so high I couldn’t  find the cash register. Matty came and got me.”

“Aww-“

"he might have been laughing all the way through, and he definitely filmed the whole thing on his phone and sent it to all of Dirty Hit, but still. He came to help me…he also still has the video. Blackmails me with it from time to time.” 

“Sounds about right.”

“I know him. I do." She repeated firmly, "I know that he works hard to remain aware and grateful for the life that his work has given him. I know that he cares so much about people. Even people that he doesn’t know. I know- I know how stubborn he was back when he first started dabbling with drugs- I mean, he never said anything cuz he hid it for quite a while- but- I know him well enough to know that he must’ve been scared. He's not as rough as his exterior sometimes suggests. I know it must've been difficult. But he’s Matty, so of course, he rationalized it to himself. And I know that he’s proud of the band now- how much they’ve grown. I was there, I watched him pick up the pieces of his own life after every set back or break up or relapse, or whatever. I saw all that. I know the great things that he’s capable of.”

Charli sighed. Considering her words carefully, she looked more seriously into Amelia’s eyes, her hand sliding across the table to hold Amelia’s, “I know. But what I’m trying to say is that you’ve always liked him. And because of that, you’ve always kinda- like- seen him through rose-tinted lenses. The way he’s behaving right now? That’s not someone who is ready, or even looking, for a relationship. He’s treating you and the women that he rotates through as if you’re all the same. He doesn’t know how to be alone. If he has a day off, he reaches for a distraction. If he has an inkling of a desire, he’s looking for the fastest possible way to fulfill it. Diving head first into something like this could affect your friendship.”

Amelia was silent for a moment, letting Charli’s words wash over her. In theory, everything that Charli said was true. But the reality was much more complicated than that. Matty wasn't blind to his own shortcomings. For fucks sakes, he makes his shows about them. But it’s one thing to know your blind spots exist, another thing entirely to try and fix them. She understood that writing the show, making the album, all of that was Matty’s way of trying to fix things. Looking for answers. Yet, he continues to indulge himself in the meantime. How was he supposed to find anything new if he’s too busy going through the same cycles?

“What about you, George?” Amelia turned around. “What do you think of all this?” She gave him a nervous smile. 

George took a deep breath. “Oh, me? I think….I think you’re both right-“

"Oh, don’t be a coward George-“

“No, no, listen. I think you’re both right. I think it’s possible for Matty to be both things at the same time. And I think talking about him can only get you so far. Talking to him, on the other hand, might help.”

Amelia knew he was right. "mhm."

***

“New dress?” Matty whispered as he tapped her shoulder, seamlessly sliding into the small group of people that she’d been in conversation with. Amelia turned instantly to look at him, his smile making her face tingle. 

“No- umm- it’s not new.” She scanned the room for Charli, she wasn’t strong enough to do this on her own. 

“Well, I like it. Suits you.” Matty’s hand trailed down her arm as he spoke, pausing at her wrist, and lightly brushing her skin. 

“You- uh- you’re back. Howww- was LA?”

“Oh, you know- Sunny, warm, too cheerful- wanna go sit down somewhere?” His fingers intertwined with hers, he squeezed her hand in his. “Looks like your drink could use a refill, we could-“

“N-no!” She spoke too quickly, feeling guilty when he looked disappointed. “I- just mean we’re with people. It’s rude.”

Matty shook his head, laughing softly. “ who cares. Let’s go.”

***

“You ever done it in a bathroom?” Matty asked, an eyebrow raised, as soon as they were no longer within earshot of other people. 

“What?”

“Hey, I’ve been gone a while. We’re overdue for a new lesson.” He giggled. “Have you ever fucked someone in a public bathroom?”

“No, of course not. Sounds unsanitary.”

“Look around you, darlin,’ this hotel’s obscenely expensive. It’s a label event not a college stoners house party. We could eat off the floors of the bathrooms here.” As he spoke, Matty looked around the room for signs or directions to the restroom area. 

“Don’t musicians do cocaine in bathrooms?”

“And they fuck, too.” He nodded. She felt his arm around her waist, pulling her along as he sped up, no doubt, spotting the right hallway. 

The door slammed shut behind them. Matty waisted no time in pressing her up against it, his lips quickly attached to her neck. With one hand holding her waist, his other roamed along the door frame to find the lock, snapping it closed to insure their privacy. 

“Shit- I’ve missed you- missed this.” She let out, unselfconsciously, making him moan in agreement. 

Matty’s head gradually dipped lower and lower, moving from her neck, to her collarbone, to the top of her chest, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses along her skin. 

Amelia hadn’t realized how long it’d been, or how much she'd needed him, until she felt his touch again. Light as a feather, but always precise, intentional. Like he knew what reaction he wanted out of her and he knew exactly how to get it. His instincts always seemed in tune with her body. He noticed things. Little details that happen in the blink of an eye, like the difference in her moan when his lips touch just the right spot between her ear and neck. Like the way that her entire body comes alive when he’s making her feel good, touching her just above the hood of her clit. Like the rhythm she likes, not quite gentle, but not too harsh. Enough to leave a tingling feeling behind. She liked feeling the place where his fingers had been in the aftermath, liked feeling sore and knowing that his hands had done that to her. And he knew that she did. 

At this rate, it wouldn’t be too long before she’d be ready to melt into a puddle at his feet. 

She flinched when she felt his hand leave her hip bone and dip lower, hiking up the skirt of her dress. His eyes snapped open, his lips, reluctantly leaving her skin for a moment. “You- uh, you alright with all this?” He was panting, breathless.

“Mhm, please don’t stop now.” She whispered, hotly, her breath against his skin sent a rush through his body. 

Matty grinned, her reply egging him on. “‘Please’ ? We’re already begging, are we? At least you’re remembering what I’ve taught you.” 

She pressed her lips together, silencing a yelp as the pads of his fingers circled her clothed center. “Oh my god, Matty-“ her words interrupted with an involuntary moan. 

“Relax for me.” He whispered. “Close your eyes, breathe, yes, that’s it.” He placed a chaste kiss to her cheek. “Let me take care of the rest, you just- focus on feeling good.”

His fingers against the fabric of her underwear were steadily building friction, the pressure in her core rising. 

“It’s been a minute." he mumbled, seemingly thinking out loud. "what if I’m off rhythm? What if your body  doesn’t quite feel pliable anymore?”

She whined in response, her hips thrusting forward to meet his hand. 

“Oh, is that so?” The smile palpable in his voice, everything about the motions of his fingers told her that he hasn’t forgotten a thing. “You’ll just take anything, then? Any touch at all?” He moved the crotch of her underwear to the side, finally exposing her bare skin. She felt him slide his finger along her slit, blushing when he'd sensed her wetness. 

“Hmm, it’s almost like I was never gone.” He grinned, reveling in his effect on her body. 

His now wet finger found the spot just above her clit, exactly where she likes it. 

“oh my FUCK!” She gasped, biting her lower lip. 

“Hey, hey,hey..what’d I tell ya? Breathe, darling, you’re holding your breath in, breathe for me. Don’t want you to cramp up.”

She found it dizzying how effortlessly he went from taunting her to cooing, gently, guiding her through the intensity of the moment. Her head was spinning, foggy and flooded with him. 

“Ma- oh god, that feels so-“ she felt herself sinking and surrendered to the overwhelming sensation, resting her head back against the door, her eyes closed, lips apart and mumbling incoherently. 

“So wet for me,” Matty whispered, “god, I can’t not fuck you like this. It’d be wrong not to.” He slipped a finger inside of her, slowly and firmly. 

She screamed, a flood of pleasure hitting her, head to toes, she buckled at the knees, no longer able to control her body, but Matty’s free hand quickly pinned her in place, stopping her from falling to the floor. 

“S-sorry, I-“ she stuttered, her shaking hands grabbing onto his biceps to steady herself. 

Her eyes fixed on his lips, she could hardly see anything else. Not that she wanted to. His lips looked perfect, pink, wet, she desperately wanted to kiss them but she barely had the strength or presence of mind to command her body. It was completely under Matty’s influence now. 

“I have a better idea.” Matty whispered, pulling away. she was too caught up to hear a word he'd said, only knowing that the heavenly sensation he’d given her had suddenly disappeared. She cried out, letting herself be moved around by him. 

“Okay, I need you to bend over now. Against the sink, okay?”

Her body moved as Matty directed, like clay in his hands, but deep in the back of her mind, she realized this position put him behind her. She was no longer able to see his face. They’d never done it this way before. She wasn’t sure how to feel. 

“Good, good, now move your legs apart just a bit more. Perfect. Hold tight, alright?”

She understood why he wanted her bent over like this as soon as he slipped his finger back inside her, suddenly reaching the perfect spot, an electric current jolted through her body. 

“Ohhh, yes, yes, yeah right there- fuck- iiii-“

“How’s that, my love?” It was the finger curling inside her and the other rubbing her clit that sent waves of pleasure crashing over her body, but it was his words, his cooing ‘my love’ to her that completely overtook her brain. For the first time in her life, she felt her mind come to a complete stop. Not a single thought, worry, or concern. She wasn’t even processing the sensory feeling of the world around her. She couldn’t think of a single sound, touch, sight, or smell. All that was there was white, hot pleasure. Her body convulsed, matty spoke (but she couldn’t tell what he’d said), and she felt herself scream out his name as her body shook between him and the sink. She was vaguely aware of the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, and the feeling of Matty’s hand pulling tightly at her hair.

“I didn’t say you could stop. Cum again.” He demanded. She wasn’t sure that she could stop even if she wanted to. He’d gotten a hold of that sweet, soft spot deep within her, her body trembled again as a second orgasm hit her, Matty’s grip on her hair grew tighter. Blood gushed into her mouth. 

Over the sound of her own panting, and the ringing in her ears, she heard Matty suck on his own finger, pulling it out of his mouth with a wet pop. “You taste amazing.” He placed a gentle hand on her hip when she attempted to stand back up. 

Her brain still felt scrambled, she couldn’t form any coherent thoughts or sentences. She turned around, her hand on Matty’s shoulder for support. 

“You wanna sit down for a moment?”

She wasn’t listening, her hands, still shaky, were fumbling with the buckles of his belt. 

“Amelia, hey, no, wait.” 

“Uh-umm” she started at him blankly, her mind looking for the right words. “You don’t want me to- to umm…” 

“Not here. Not now. don't want to hurt your knees, plus, I think you should slow down anyway.”

Her face fell, her grip on his belt loosened as she did her best to focus her hazy brain on his voice and take in his words. 

“I’m fine.” She whispered, her hands finally letting go of him. 

“Let me clean you up before we get back out there.”

***

Amelia's foggy brain raced with silent fear. she'd never felt so disoriented before. She felt everything intensely. the lights felt blinding, the air grazing her skin, the sound of the music filling her head. Her every sense was heightened, triggering an unexplainable sense of anxiety, as she walked by Matty's side, the inches off space between them felt like miles. He felt so far away, she had this inexplicable need to be with him, near him, even though she already was. why won't he hold her hand? is he not feeling the same way? does he not want to be near her as much as she does? Was their interaction over now that he'd finger-fucked her in a hotel bathroom? Was she supposed to take the hint and go her own way?

She saw Matty smile as a man, from the other end of the hallway, headed towards them. He seemed to recognize Matty and Matty recognized him. She watched them exchange greetings and begin a conversation that she was too overcome with anxiety to follow. She felt a burning in her chest; a raging jealousy. She did not want to split Matty's time and attention. This stranger had overstepped, intruded on what was supposed to be a private moment, between her and Matty. Tears welled in her eyes, and before she knew it, she'd grabbed onto Matty's arm, burying her face into his side.

"Amelia, you alright?"

To her surprise, though Matty was thrown off, he made no move to pull away. She heard him mumble, excuse himself, and walking away with his arm around her waist.

"Hey, look at me, he's gone, it's just us now. Look at me, Amelia, I need to see your face." He paused, pulling them both into a quiet corner, leaning against a wall. "Hey, what is it, Mia, talk, please."

She was too overwhelmed. Every time she tried, no thoughts came to her mind and no words left her lips. The longer that she remained silent, the more she could see fear in Matty's eyes.

"Sorry- umm, I don't know what came over me." she finally mustered. watching his face relax as he heard her voice. "Guess I've missed you more than I realize...god that was embarrassing." Matty smiled at her confession, making a quick-witted response, but in the back of his mind he wasn't sure if that was the full extent of her strange behavior.

"Let's get a room upstairs, hmm? What do you say?"

***

Amelia had clung to him through the elevator ride, running his hands down his body and kissing his neck. Matty's hands had held her waist steady, his head thrown back. "fuck- you're so good at that- maybe I should go away to LA more often."

He groaned, disappointed, when the elevator bell dinged, announcing their arrival at the right floor. Amelia giggled, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time, as Matty squinted, reading the room numbers on the walls to find theirs.

They were hardly all the way inside before Amelia returned to kissing on him: his neck, his chest, on hand playfully stroking his right nipple while her mouth kissed and bit on the other. Matty had no idea where this new-found initiative of hers was coming from, but it all felt too good to question.

"shiiittt- Mia, your tongue feels so-"

"tell me something," she whispered, kissing down his chest. "did you sleep with anyone while you were away?"

Matty was caught off guard by her question. he opened his eyes, watching as she looked up at him through her lashes. "what?"

"while you were gone" she said in between kisses, "did you have sex with anyone?"

His head flung back, again, Matty struggled to make sense of what was happening. the fact that the blood was rushing south in his body did not help either. "uhhh..." He swallowed harshly almost losing himself in the feeling of her touch, "y-yeah, was I- umm, not supposed to?"

"how do I know what you are or aren't supposed to do?"

Finally collecting himself, he pushed her body away from his. "what's happening right now?"

"I don't know. I was trying to kiss you and you stopped me." Amelia shrugged, a blank expression on her face.

"I guess- um- I had wondered if- you'd like to slow down, maybe? I could call down for room service. Get us some drinks? some dinner?"

Amelia stood on the tips of her toes, kissing his lips. "no drinks." she whispered. "no dinner." she unbuckled his belt.

***

"right. How's that?" Matty stepped away, admiring his handiwork.

Amelia was not amused by this turn of events. Somehow, she'd found herself bound, using the decorative ribbons that had been wrapped around the hotel towel set, and Matty's vivid imagination, her arms were now tied together, behind her back.

"We're gonna have to be really careful though. If your arms start to feel numb, you've got to let me know. Right away. Do you understand?"

Amelia nodded.

"alright, then." Matty resumed his place on the bed, sitting opposite her, with his back against the headboard, his lengths spread on either side of her. "go on, then, as you were." he gestured.

Amelia hesitated for a moment. Sucking him off with her arms tied behind her back wasn't going to be easy. She wouldn't have nearly as much control. But she desperately wanted to please him. To be a good girl for him. to make him feel good.

"Don't make me ask twice, Mia."

She bent down, her lips wrapping around his tip, slowly taking more and more of him.

"That's- it- fuckkk- good girl."

The praise was more than enough to spur her on. Soon enough, she was drawing the filthiest moans from his lips, holding her breath as long as possible, to get his hips to behind needle thrusting into her mouth. Her back had begun to feel sore, and she was running out of breath. When Matty thrusted his hips particularly harshly, he hit the back of her throat, causing her to gag for breath and pull away.

Matty watched her heave and gasp for breath, her own drool running down her chin, tears on her cheeks. His hand on the back of her head pulled her back onto him by the root of her hair. She hardly had a moment to squirm or cry out, before he bucked his hips to meet her mouth, shoving himself all the way into her. "Perrrr-fectt. Yes, shut up and take it like a good girl. thats it, keep going –fuckkkk."

with his hand over her head, adjusting her pace and position whenever he pleased, Matty was in bliss, and it wasn't long before she felt her mind slip back into that dizzying haze.

She felt tears roll down her face as Matty pulled her off of his cock and helped guide her onto his lap. As he helped her sink down onto him, she realized, somewhere in the back of her mind where thought were struggling for coherence, that she'd never ridden a guy before. In fact, she had no idea how to do it. But that's what all this is for, right? Matty showing her how to do things. Was she meant to bounce on her knees? move back and forth? There was no way this would be fun for him. And he's definitely experienced fun. Other girls had probably given him mind-blowing orgasms before. Better than he'd ever feel with her. She stared, blankly, at the top of her chest. Where she desperately wanted to lay her head; to wrap her arms around him and feel her chest against his. But she couldn't even touch him with her hands bound and behind her back. She couldn't adjust her position either, or control her movements, she felt isolated and far away from him. She was literally sitting on top of him but could barely feel his body against hers. this wasn't how it was supposed to be. none of this felt good for her, and she was sure it didn't feel good for him either. panic filling her chest, she began to lose her breath.

"r-re-red. Matty, please, red. I- I don't- I wanna stop. I said red that means it's over, it's stop. Please I want to stop,"

Matty's neck snapped forward with a loud and painful crack. "wait?" his eyes widened, " yes. Of course. We're stopping. Immediately." He put his hands up in the air where she could see them. "I- umm....Not touching you, okay? but-I would like to. If- if you'll let me? hmm? to-untie you. Nothing else, I promise. May I do that? please?"

He sprung into action as soon as she nodded, his shaky hands making it unnecessarily difficult to undo her ties.

"How-how do your arms...i mean, are you okay?"

Amelia used her now freed limbs to roll herself off of him. When he offered her his hand to help steady her, she slapped it away, and jumped off the bed, hearing him hiss when she separated her body from his.

"Amelia wait- where are you going? Please let me-"

she slammed the bathroom door shut, startling Matty enough to rock the bed.

What, the fuck, had just happened?

[liightsout]

the blue - part nine

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✯ summary: first race of the season is over, danny has some things to say, and mattie gets in her head about the haters ✯

✯ pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!oc ✯

✯ content warnings: light swearing ✯

✯ now playing: forever - noah kahan ✯

✯ series masterlist ✯

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Mattie felt like she had been holding her breath for the entire race. Actually, she felt like she had been holding it since the beginning of qualifying. It was only now that the race was over she felt that she could exhale. 

Danny had qualified in P6 above Lando, but had finished P7, with Lando making it up to P4. By no means had he done badly, in fact he’d had an amazing race, but she knew Danny would be quietly disappointed with his performance, especially when compared to his younger team mate. 

Mattie had already sent a quick “well done” message to Adam and Lando, letting the younger Brit know she was proud of him for doing so well in the first race of the season. She was just about to start crafting a message to Danny when she felt her phone vibrate in her hands.  

She certainly didn’t expect for Danny to message her first - she thought it would have been hours before she heard from him. She knew he had press duties to fulfil after the race, and then he surely would have other obligations. She didn’t think he’d have the time to message her for hours. 

Danny: Hey pretty girl, just finishing up here, can I call you in a bit or you busy? 🤍

She still hadn’t gotten used to Danny complimenting her, she doubted that she ever would. Her face would burn every time he called her pretty, and goosebumps would appear down her arms when he called her sweetheart. It didn’t matter if it was over text, phone call, or in person. 

Danny had the ability to turn her brain to mush and she knew that he loved doing it. The tell tale sign was the smug smile that would appear on his face as he watched her cheeks burn scarlett red and she lost the ability to speak without stuttering. 

Mattie: I was just about to message you! I didn’t think you’d be free until later, but yeah call me whenever 🤍

Mattie had not anticipated for her phone to ring almost immediately after she replied. She also hadn’t anticipated for Danny to FaceTime her. She silently thanked herself for actually getting up and getting herself ready this morning as she hit the accept button on her phone. 

She felt herself take a small intake of breath as she looked at the phone screen in her hands. Post race Danny might just be one of her favourite versions of him she thought. His brown curls were slightly damp with sweat and tousled to perfection. His skin looked as if it was glowing; his cheeks were a little flushed from the humid Bahrain air, and a thin layer of sweat made his skin shine as if it was made of diamonds. His race suit was hanging low down by his waist, his top half only covered by his fireproofs, she could just make out his abs peaking through. His smile was beaming and he looked the happiest she’d ever seen him. 

“Hey you” the Aussie’s voice rang out around her flat as he smiled at her. “Did you watch?” he asked hopefully. Mattie choked out a laugh. He knew she’d watched the race, he just wanted to hear her say it. “Of course I did! You were amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

She watched as Daniel’s smile grew even bigger than it had been before. She swore she could see his chest puff out in pride at her words. “Ah thanks, I did alright, definitely could have been better… but it’s only up from here, I’m sure of it” he said to the girl, a bashful tone to his voice. 

 Mattie was in awe of Danny’s positivity. She had seen it over the years on social media during different interviews he’d done, but experiencing it first hand was infectious. She was jealous of his ability to always look on the bright side - to see light at the end of a tunnel. As someone who had grown up an anxious worrier and therefore a pessimist by nature, it truly was a trait she both admired and envied. 

“Of course it is, you’ll be on the podium before you know it” she replied, a soft smile on her face. Danny was one of the best drivers on the grid. She had no doubt in her mind that it wouldn’t be long until he was back on the top end of scoring points, or even winning races. 

“Do you wanna hang out when I’m back? A proper hang out, not me turning up at your house in the middle of the night and asking you to come for a walk with me-” Danny was cut off by an older Australian female, who judging from her outburst, was his mother. “Daniel Ricciardo I raised you better than that! You take a girl on a date before you hassle her in the middle of the night for god knows what!” 

Danny’s face immediately turned red and an embarrassed smile crept onto his face as his eyes looked off into the distance. Mattie felt her face turn the mirror image of his. Had he called her while his mum was in the room? She never thought she’d get as far as meeting his mother, and she certainly didn’t think that if she did, it would be over FaceTime. 

“Nah mum, it wasn’t like that, I promise. We just went for a walk because I wanted to see her before I left” the excuse poured from his mouth as he tried to explain himself to his mother. 

Mattie found herself lost for words, not wanting to say anything to give Danny’s mum a bad impression of her. The last thing she wanted was his mother thinking she was using Danny for a quick hookup. She wasn’t oblivious to the fact he clearly got a lot of female attention, and it would be easy for him to find someone for when he did want to do “god knows what” in the middle of the night. 

“As sweet as that is Daniel, you need to take this girl on a real date, she deserves better than that!” there was a pause of silence as his mothers words settled in. “Right I’ll leave you two to it, I’m going to find your father and get some dinner. Let me know if you’re planning on joining us.” Daniel’s mothers voice got louder “and I hope we’ll be meeting you sooner rather than later Mattie dear. I want to meet the girl that has my son blushing and giggling at his phone”. Mattie heard the door click shut, indicating she had left the room. 

Danny’s laugh started in his stomach and rippled up, shaking the top half of his body. Mattie, despite her growing anxiety, found herself laughing almost in sync at Daniel getting cursed out by his mother. Their eyes locked through the phone as the laughs died down. Mattie was holding back from asking the question that was threatening to fall past her lips. It was only when the Aussie didn’t speak first that she couldn’t help herself. 

“Did you tell your mum about me?” she asked. The words came out in a rushed and garbled anxious mess. As soon as she had said them she felt it impossible to look at Danny any longer. She decided that the loose string on the hem of her sweatshirt was far more interesting than the man on the phone in front of her.

Danny’s heart swelled as he looked at the girl. He wished that he was there with her now so that he could reach out and touch her hand. He hoped that he could one day reassure her that she didn’t have to hold back, not with him. 

She was so nervous and so unsure of herself, and when she did find the confidence to say what was on her mind, she would instantly retreat into herself in regret. He knew it was a defence mechanism, but he prayed that soon enough she would see that she didn’t have to do that with him. 

“I did yeah, she kept asking me who I was texting all the time. She said you’re definitely out of my league, unsurprising really, I’ve always been an overachiever” the Aussie spoke with a confident grin on his face. 

Mattie’s eyes shot up, she’d now lost interest in the loose thread on her sweater. She couldn’t stop the words slipping out of her mouth. “Are you dehydrated?” she asked with a concerned look on her face. 

Danny’s laugh came like a bark as he gave a confused look to the girl whose eyes were boring into his. “I mean I would have been a little earlier, but I’ve drank like 2 litres of water and a couple Red Bull’s since the race - don’t tell Zak about the last part” he answered the girl with a laugh “why do you care about how much water I’ve been drinking?” 

“I just assumed there must be something medically wrong with you if you think that I, Mattie Ryan, am out of your league” she explained, her hands motioning towards herself as if it would give her point more validity. 

Danny’s face grew serious - the first time she’d ever seen him look that way. His usual smile was gone, and his lips were set in a straight line. His eyes looked darker. He looked as if he was contemplating his response. It was funny, she thought, usually she was the one who was searching for the right words to say. 

“Mattie, are you joking? Like, surely you’re not actually serious? You’re one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met” said Danny. Mattie choked out a small laugh, shrugging off his words as if they weren’t true. 

“Don’t do that, I’m being serious here. First of all, you’re beautiful. Like annoyingly so. Sometimes you send me selfies and I actually have to stop what I’m doing and remind myself that it’s a bit creepy of me to just stare at your picture on my phone in public” Danny rambled. 

“You’re also incredibly funny, but it’s so unintentional, which makes it even funnier. I spend my whole life trying to be funny and make people laugh, and you just do it so naturally. It’s probably cus you’re clever. One of the most clever people I know actually” he said. 

Mattie stared at her phone. Surely Daniel wasn’t talking about her? She felt as if she’d entered into an alternate reality, one where a man like Daniel Ricciardo thought she was beautiful, funny, and clever. Maybe that she was dreaming - that would make more sense. She must be dreaming. 

“You’re so kind! The night you met me, you could have thrown me out of your flat, but instead you apologised for shouting at me, which was totally valid and no apology was needed, and then you handed me your blankets and told me to make myself at home!” he continued. Almost as if now he had started listing the reasons he thought she was incredible, he found himself unable to stop. 

Mattie decided she had heard too much, almost as if the thoughts Daniel was sharing with her were private, and not meant for her to hear. They belonged to him and she had no right to them, even if they were about her. 

“Danny… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I guess, honestly that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me” she said. She found it difficult to look at Danny now. Knowing he thought so highly of her terrified her. What would happen if she said or did the wrong thing? Would he change his mind, and this would all be over? No more late night talks, no more cute little messages asking her about her day. Now that she knew what it was like to be admired by Daniel Ricciardo, she didn’t want it to ever stop. 

Danny sighed, “don’t tell me that pretty girl” he said. She stared back at the Aussie, confused as to what he was talking about. She shook her head, a prompt for him to explain himself. “Don’t tell me that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you, it’ll make me angry that no one’s ever bothered to tell you this before, like it isn’t exactly what everyone thinks of you”. 

She really wished Danny would stop saying things that rendered her speechless. She wondered if she would ever get used to his ability to steal every thought from her brain and fill her stomach with butterflies. She really doubted it. 

“Anyway, what I’m really trying to do here is ask, do you want to go on a date when I’m back?” She wasn’t sure why he looked nervous. There was no way Daniel Ricciardo was nervous about asking her on a date. He must still be dehydrated, she thought. 

Regardless, it was the easiest yes she had ever said. 

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It was the next afternoon when Adam made it back to the flat. He had a night flight back to the UK from Bahrain with the team, followed by an intense debrief session at the MCT, and he was then finally allowed to head home. 

Mattie had done her usual and hung the “welcome home” banner across the living room window and blown up some balloons. It’d become a tradition after the first year of Adam being away. She had spent hours hand crafting the banner with her best glitter gel pens and felt tips. She’d even attempted at drawing a terrible looking Formula 1 car and chequered flag at the bottom of it. 

She knew he got homesick, almost as much as she missed him when he was gone. So she liked to make a bit of fuss when he did come back. Especially when the team had such a good result like they had done this weekend. 

Neither had felt up to going out for dinner, so had opted to order in from their favourite Italian restaurant. They had stuffed their faces with pasta and garlic bread, as Adam told her all about Bahrain and the crazy race weekend. 

Adam spoke about how amazing Lando’s performance was, and how everyone was also very happy with how Danny had been adjusting to the car. Adam thought the same as she did - it wouldn’t be long until both Danny and Lando were on the podium. 

“Oh, I forgot to say, congratulations on becoming famous! Can I get an autograph?” Adam said with a laugh as he nudged his friend. The pair were sitting on the sofa in front of the TV, an episode of Adam’s latest favourite show was playing on the screen. Mattie’s attention drifted from the TV in front of her and turned to the male sitting beside her. “What on earth are you talking about?” she said, confusion etched onto her face. 

Adam reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. His fingers tapped around the screen a couple times as pulled up Instagram and headed to the page he was looking for. He turned his phone and pushed it into Mattie’s hands. 

She looked at the phone in front of her. Great. She knew it would happen eventually by being friends with Adam, and now due to how close she had gotten to Danny and Lando. But she didn’t think it would have happened this quickly. 

Gossip pages were ruthless. She remembered when Adam first joined Mclaren and he had found himself the subject of a couple of posts. It had gotten worse when Lando had joined the team. She didn’t understand how people thought they had the right to know everything about not only the drivers, but also their friends and family. Adam had gone from having a couple hundred followers on Instagram to thousands over night. All because Lando had tagged him in an Insta story of them playing golf. 

She had always heavily featured on Adam’s page and she knew that people assumed they were dating. She didn’t mind - she got a few follow requests here and there, but nothing too intrusive. For the most part people didn’t care about her, and she liked it that way. She had a feeling that was about to change. 

She scrolled down the page, and stopped to look at a few of the comments. For the most part people were being nice. It was mostly speculation as to whether she was dating Danny or Lando. Her Instagram had been tagged a couple times in the comments. She expected that if she logged into her phone she would see that she had a few hundred follow requests. She was so glad she had privated her Instagram account all those years ago. 

She wasn’t too far into the comments when she found herself frowning. 

She was used to mean girls. She had encountered her fair share in high school and college. Girls who thought she was weird because her only friend was a boy and she spent her lunch breaks reading books in the library. Girls who laughed at her in the gym changing rooms because her thighs were a little bit bigger than everyone else's. Girls who called her a slut because Adam would rather hang out with her than go on dates with them. 

What she wasn’t used to was people who thought that they could write whatever they want, shielded by the anonymity of the internet. The speculation that she was using her lifelong friend to date one of the drivers and take him for all his money. Some even questioned whether she was sleeping with both Danny and Lando, and that she would be the reason for a rift between the drivers. She saw the comments calling her a slut - saying that she wasn’t that pretty anyway, and there was no way either Danny or Lando would even bother going anywhere near her. If they did go near her, it would only be because she was an easy shag. 

“Hey, no no no” Adam said as he grabbed his phone out of the girl's hands. “Here’s what we’re not going to do. We’re not going to read comments from stupid people on the internet, who don’t know anything about you, or anything about the lives of Danny and Lando, or even me!” Adam could see the hurtful comments seeping into Mattie’s brain. He cursed himself for not breaking this to her a little more graciously - he should have known this would send the girl in a spiral. 

“It’s okay Adam, really, it’s fine” Mattie said, forcing a smile onto her face as she looked at her best friend. “It was bound to happen eventually, I’m honestly surprised it took this long. I thought it would have happened when Lando posted that photo of us all last year at his BBQ.” 

Mattie spent the rest of the night trying to ignore the thoughts in her head. She had always been self conscious. She spent her teenage years comparing herself to the other girls in her year. She thought they were all so much prettier than her, so much cooler and more likeable. She compared herself to the celebrities she saw on TV and on the internet, how glamorous and beautiful they were. 

It wasn’t until she had gotten much older she had realised that there was no point in doing so. She only had the body and mind that she had been gifted with, and she had to live with it for the rest of her life - there was no point in hating it. 

Yet here she was, sitting on her sofa, her mind running a million miles a minute. She tried to remind herself of the words Danny had said to her the day before. All the lovely things he had told her he thought about her. These random people on the internet didn’t know him. They didn’t know what he thought or felt… but, what if they did? What if all those things he had told her weren’t true. What if he did think she was a slut - an easy shag. That the only reason he was speaking to her was because he thought it would be a convenient lay for him while he was living in the UK. 

She hated herself for thinking that. Danny had been nothing but kind and honest with her. He had not once given her any reason to doubt that any of his kindness was false. There was nothing to make her think any of the things he had said to her were untrue, or that he didn’t feel that way about her. 

A pinging noise was what pulled her from her thoughts. She looked away from the screen in front of her - she wasn’t even sure what they were watching anymore. She hadn’t been paying attention for at least an hour now, too consumed by the worries in her mind. Her eyes found her phone, lying face up on the coffee table in front of her. 

As she reached for it, she could see Adam shifting beside her in the corner of her eye. She looked and saw that she had received a message from Danny. 

Danny: Hey pretty girl, I know I said I was going to take you on a date, but I can’t wait until then to see you - can I come over now? 

She was half way through reading the message when Adam yawned next to her, his arms raised in a dramatic fashion. “I’m fucking tired, I’m gonna head to bed” he said as he stood from the sofa and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. Mattie mumbled a “goodnight” back to him as she watched him retreat into his bedroom down the hall. 

She wasn’t an idiot - she knew that Adam knew that it was Danny messaging her. She suspected that he had probably messaged Danny and told him about what had happened earlier. She wasn’t mad at him for it, even if she did feel a little bit embarrassed about Danny knowing she was getting in her head about something so minor. 

Mattie: I don’t think your mum would be too happy about that. I thought you had stuff to do at MCT? 

Danny: What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her lol. I’m on my way back now, can be at yours in 10 mins? 

Mattie: Surely you’re tired? We can hang out tomorrow Danny, I’m probably not going to be much fun tonight 

Mattie: I know Adam messaged you - he’s not as discreet as he thinks he is 

Danny: I’m not going to force it on you babe, if you want to be alone then I’ll head back to mine, but I would really like to see you and I don’t like knowing that you’re upset, especially if it’s because of something that’s my fault 

Mattie: It’s not your fault Danny, don’t say that  

Danny: Buzz me in, I’m outside 

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✯ authors note:

me earlier: i have writers block :(

also me: writes 3.8k words

here's part nine babies!!! hope it's ok, i really struggled with this one but now it's done i have a bit more of an idea where i'm going with the next one.

tysm for all the likes/reblogs and support you've been giving me last couple weeks since i started this. it's honestly been such a therapeutic thing for me getting into writing again, and knowing you guys are enjoying it makes it even better for me <3 ✯

[toomuchracket]

im not kidding i reread the boat angst saga at least 2 times a week. it’s so good.

if you’re not planning that to be a fic maybe you could write birthday party angst? like they’re both on separate tours (satvb and her book tour.) and they haven’t seen each other in awhile which transpires in to a fight about how either one doesn’t make enough time for each other (maybe leading to a “break” that only really last a few days and the entire time matty is beating himself up over it. or if you want to make it ESPECIALLY messy, he could have had a misunderstanding and thought maybe she was cheating on him?) could also work for flatmate. like he’s all consumed with his tour until he comes back to find girlie throwing herself in to a case (aka not making time for him.) which leads to them fighting, and her thinking he’s undermining her work. (maybe pre-kids)

i love the birthday party idea especially, but i might take inspo from the other one too!! thinking maybe matty gets a bit miffed that you can't always talk to him during the day (for you), because you have MULTIPLE events/appearances scheduled per day (podcasts, interviews, etc. on top of talks and presentations and book signings) - for some reason, he doesn't seem to get that, prob because his version of tour is so different from yours. idk, maybe he feels like he's putting all the effort in and it's not reciprocated, which really isn't true given that you're literally flying out to see him in a week after your own (lengthy) tour ends, and you get quite upset about it and say something like "well, now you know how it feels for once", and it starts a whole argument about how he asked you to come on tour with him last time and you said you couldn't because you had final drafts and editorial meetings and things that are really a lot easier to do when you're at home. maybe he says something quite cold and condescending about how that all seemed like a fucking shit excuse for not going, because he's a writer too AND he has to record and he can do it all while he's touring, and you get extremely upset because a) he's making it seem like his work is more important than yours, and b) he's disregarding the fact that he can only do everything at once because he doesn't have to do it all himself like you do. and matty lets his frustration get the better of him and says something like "well, it's not like anyone could work with you anyway, too fucking stubborn to compromise", and you just go SILENT and then say "ok. i'll just refund the plane tickets for coming out next week, then, since i can't compromise. bye. i'll maybe see you when you get back to london. but i'm not holding my breath" - he's like "whatever", and assumes you're bluffing, but you're dead serious. not that he bothers calling, because he's just as stubborn as you and neither of you want to be the person to cave first and call the other, but he does go to the airport the day you're meant to fly out to pick you up, and fucking PANICS when your flight gets in and you don't appear; only then does he phone you to question where you are and if you're ok, and you coolly say "i did tell you i wasn't coming. my lack of ability to compromise didn't tip you off?", and matty honest to god starts crying about how he was an arsehole and fucked up and how he didn't really mean any of it and he really does love you. he's giving it "i'll fly home now i'll fucking do it. i need to sort this", and you're like "no, finish the tour. i don't need you resenting me for anything else about it" - your voice cracks on that last sentence, and he feels like he's going to throw up with guilt. but you do love him, and you really miss him, so you forgive him eventually after you talk when he gets home. things take a while to get back to the way they were, and even then they're never quite the same again; not in a bad way, just in the two of you being kinder to each other about processes and touring and respecting each other's work. kinda wwat vibes, actually <3

[dontfuckityoumuppettt]

I will make it up to you #1

-Listen Maddie.. I... can't go on like this... I need a moment to myself, some space, I have too much of everything on my mind from all sides, and now you .... Why can't you just support me?

Tears came to her eyes. "How can he insinuate that I don't support him?  I arrange my work schedule at my photography studio to fit him, lately I have been adjusting everything to him, not just work, I devote almost everything to him. I understand that he has a tour, concerts, commitments, but.... I would understand all of this if he showed me a little more understanding and lately I don't feel it. He got caught up in the whirlwind of work, and in the meantime he seems to have stopped thinking logically. That's how I've explained it to myself, but I can't do this anymore. I can't lose myself to keep him with me. " she thought to herself.

- Matty... Do you really not see how much I sacrifice for you? I understand and I know what your work is about, I don't blame you for that, but the problem is your attitude. You do not notice what I do for you,it has become a routine for you, I feel invisible - she said that quietly.

- Maddie.. What are you talking about? Please, speak bluntly what you mean, because I don't want to read between the lines, I'm too tired for that right now, I just said I wish you would support me more, my life has been crazy lately - Matty repiled numbly while walking over to open a window to light a cigarette. She followed him with her eyes from the end of the room.

-And don't you see that I am ? I have been for a year now all the time when you are exhausted, tired, pissed off.... I love you ... but lately I feel neglected - Maddie stared at him hoping for some kind of reaction.

Matty began to be annoyed, thoughts and calmness overwhelmed by nerves and stress took control of him. Again, he did not listen to what his loved one was saying to him. Through the excess of stress and stimuli, he was unable to. All the words and the whole monologue blended together into some kind of noises he couldn't focus on. He was so focused on what was going on in his head that he didn't even notice how he was ignoring her again.

- Matty... Are you even listening to what I'm saying ? - at this point she raised her voice.

That kinda woke him up and brought him back to earth. He closed the window and came up to her.

-Listen... sorry but I'm not mentally there right now for this kind of conversation can we talk later and I promise... - at this point Maddie couldn't stand it. The fears, anxiety and all those moments when she felt bad and didn't tell him won. She was not going to wait for Matty to decide what would be the right time to talk about what hurt her in his behavior.

-We can't Matty. Either now or you don't have to talk to me at all anymore - she looked at him straight in the eyes.

Matty is now present and focused on Maddie, still struggling to keep himself up while looking at her face, noticing how she refrains from crying. Now he sees. Now he has noticed. He curses himself in thought that only now.

- Honey I'm so sorry ..  I um... had too much on my mind and I...wasn't able to...because - he chaotically tries to explain himself desperately trying to find words that will help her, he starts to panic, he sees the helplessness in her and  the lack of reaction.

At the moment she doesn't feel like talking to him anymore. She is tired now too, Not in her right mind too.

- No, Ok Matty. I don't feel like talking to you anymore either. We should stop. You said you need space? I'll give it to you. We should take a break. - She turned around and started to get dressed.

He grabbed her hand, loosing his mind, trying to do anything he can to change whatever is happening, wishing he could go back in time and change some stuff.

- Darling I.. swear... it's not what you think.. I know that.. I know that I haven't had time lately.. and i just couldn't deal with it, I really wasn’t in my right mind lately... I should have been more attentive. I should have apprieciate you more, I’m sorry.. I  - this wasn’t enough for her. 

He realized that he didn't have the right words that would satisfy her right now and stopped for a moment. Looked at her again, he knelt down and said:

- I fucked up. I’m sorry. I really fucking am. Don’t leave me-  he was barely hanging on. 

His face broke her heart. All she wanted to do was say it's okay, I love you, don't worry and hug him, calm him down. But this time she needed it more.

She took her hand and walked towards the door. Matty ran to her and asked her desperately - What can I do to make it up to you darling I will do anything.. 

-I’m not going to tell you what to do. Do something yourself. I have to take care of myself now. 

He grabbed his head, looked in the mirror and hated himself now.

------ 

-This is probably kinda messy, Let me know what you think and if you would like me to write a part 2 !! Also, sorry for any mistakes. English is not my native language. 

[oh-bonerline]

kiss prompt 20 please 🥹🥹🥹

20…on a scar. (another one that was requested by a handful of people, so here you go! also, just fyi, there is some slight filth in this one.)

Matty has Ross stretched out on his bed, moving over every inch of his skin with his mouth and his fingers. He is cataloging him. He is learning him. He knows most of his tattoos by now, but there are some that are newer and less familiar and there are some whose meaning Matty has forgotten. (“I just liked it,” Ross usually says when he asks.) And he is still memorizing the constellations of freckles on his back, on the insides of his arms, on the backs of his thighs. He is still studying the routes of his veins, the depth of his pores. He is still exploring the seemingly unmarked parts of his skin for anything of interest, any landmarks or curiosities. 

“I wanna draw a map of your body,” he says, bending to press his mouth to a freckle at the base of Ross’ spine, dragging his lips up his back.  

“D’you know anything about cartography?” Ross asks. He’s lying on his stomach with his head turned sideways and half smushed into the pillow. The half of his face that Matty can see is smiling, scrunched up, teasing. 

Matty loves him. Matty adores him.

“No,” he says. “I could learn though.” 

“I’m not losing you to another YouTube tutorial rabbit hole,” Ross says, trying to sit up a little so he can properly turn and look at Matty. But Matty is sitting on the backs of Ross’ legs, effectively pinning him to the bed. 

Matty leans down and takes a bit of Ross’ skin between his teeth, a soft bit of skin under Ross’ shoulder blade. “Fuck you,” he growls, completely unserious.

“Ow,” Ross says because he knows it’ll get Matty to bite down harder. Matty does, sinking his teeth in and leaving behind red tooth marks. He kisses them and then rubs gently with his fingertips until they’re mostly gone. 

He continues his survey of Ross’ body and finds himself thinking of the people before him and what they might have discovered and laid claim to on Ross’ body. Who might have planted their flag on the trio of moles on Ross’ left side, just a few inches below his armpit? Who might have given a name to the expanse of unmarked skin between his box tattoo and his compass tattoo? Who might have made their home amongst the soft, dark hair on his forearm? 

Matty allows himself a moment of sadness over not being the first one–not being the only one–to make this trek and know this body. He resolves to be the first one to know it entirely.

Acting on this thought, he spreads Ross’ arse cheeks apart. He has explored this part of Ross with his mouth, his fingers, his cock, but not with his eyes and not in broad daylight. 

“Hey.” An immediate but half-hearted objection. 

“Hey, what?” Matty asks, studying the hair growing in his crack and letting his fingertip brush against Ross’ hole. “Don’t get shy on me now.” 

Ross squirms under him and Matty lets his dry finger slip inside him briefly, watching Ross close his eyes. “It’s different when we’re fucking,” he says. 

“Who says we’re not fucking?” Matty asks because he is in fact hard and has been this entire time. He pushes his finger in a little further. 

“Matty,” Ross says in his Big Boy voice and Matty obediently removes his finger.

“Alright, fine,” he concedes. He makes a quick note about a small mole down near Ross’ perineum and then takes his hands away from his arse completely. He kisses one of Ross’ cheeks, wet and sloppy, just to make Ross laugh again.  

And then, Matty notices something he hasn’t seen before, low on the left side of Ross’ back. A small spot where the skin is lighter and raised a bit, an old and mostly faded scar. The mid-morning sunlight is coming through the window just right and illuminating it for Matty–a new discovery. He touches his fingertip to it, feeling the slight difference in texture. 

“What’s this?” he asks, his voice low as if the scar might be scared off. 

Ross twists his neck to see and then drops his head back down. “You don’t remember?” 

Matty keeps his eyes on the scar, not wanting to forget where it is. “Remind me,” he says. 

“2009,” Ross says. “That awful party we went to. One of George’s weird friends was throwing it.” 

“Hmm,” Matty says, distracted. The scar is oval shaped, maybe a quarter of an inch long. There is something pearlescent about it as it catches the light. Something achingly beautiful. He imagines it as an abstract paining–thick oil paints on canvas. 

Ross pushes himself up onto his elbows so he can better turn to look at Matty. “You really don’t remember?” There is hurt and disappointment in the question. 

Matty closes his eyes so he can refocus and think back. But, frankly, George had a lot of weird friends who threw parties in 2009. He tries to think if any were particularly notable and then it comes back to him all at once, like cold water thrown in his face. 

“I gave you this scar,” he says, opening his eyes and looking at the scar again. 

“Well, technically the hob someone had stupidly left on gave it to me,” Ross says. “But it was your fault.” 

The specifics of the party–whose house, who else had been there–are blurry, but the important details come rushing back. 

He remembers Ross had been in a bad mood that night and had almost stayed home. Matty had pouted for ten minutes, only half joking when he told Ross he wouldn’t have any fun if he wasn’t there. Eventually Ross gave in.

He remembers there weren’t that many people there, only a dozen or so. He remembers someone there had coke, but Ross had given him a look from across the room–annoyed and apprehensive–so he’d waved it off, opting to chain smoke instead. He remembers feeling quite virtuous about that sacrifice, quite clean and good. He remembers hoping Ross thought so too. 

He remembers everyone was playing a ridiculous and confusing drinking game where the rules were being made up as they went along. This had, of course, infuriated Ross and he’d walked out after the first round, moaning about no one playing fair. Matty was enjoying himself, but losing miserably and getting too drunk too quickly, so he decided to pull himself out of the game after the third round and go find Ross. 

He found Ross in the kitchen where he was staring moodily out the window above the sink. 

“Game’s shit,” Matty said, standing next to him and looking out too. There was nothing to see out there but a flickering streetlight, a beat up old car, a tree without any leaves.

“Yeah,” Ross said. “Whole party’s shit honestly. Whole night’s shit.” 

“What are we looking at?” Matty asked, trying to change the subject. He wanted to know what was wrong, wanted to ask Ross if he was okay, but they were twenty year old boys so of course he couldn’t just fucking ask him. 

He moved in a little closer so they were shoulder to shoulder. He stood on his toes to match Ross’ height, as if he was trying to see through his eyes. The scene outside the window remained the same, but he could see the sliver of the moon now. 

Ross just blinked and looked over at Matty like he’d forgotten anyone else was there. “Nothing,” he said, turning away from the window and leaning back against the counter. 

“Alright,” Matty said, turning around as well. 

They were still standing close and their hands were resting next to each other on the edge of the counter. Matty let his hand rest against Ross’, his pinky just barely touching Ross’ pinky. 

There was something about Ross when he was in a dark mood like this that Matty felt drawn to. He turned mysterious and unknowable. Ross, who was normally so open, suddenly became someone with a myriad of secrets that Matty was dying to know. Matty was drunk enough by then that he could admit to himself he had a huge fucking crush on moody Ross. He wanted moody Ross to take him home, put on the Cure, and kiss him in a bruised lip, sad teenage poetry kind of way. 

He felt Ross’ pinky uncurl and brush against his before quickly moving away again. He uncurled his own pinky and hooked it into Ross’, not letting go. He was drunk enough to admit to himself that he had a huge fucking crush on Ross no matter what sort of mood he was in. 

There was a burst of laughter from the living room. George’s voice rising above it all to say, “Oh, fuck off, you have to drink now!” And then more laughter, more shouting.

Matty felt Ross tense up at the sound. “You wanna go somewhere else?” he asked, tightening his grip on Ross’ finger, moving his arm closer so he could feel Ross’ skin against his.

Ross looked at him sideways, a small smile on his lips. “Nah,” he said, but he shifted on his feet so that his side was fully pressing into Matty and he moved his hand so that it was covering Matty’s. 

Matty still doesn’t remember who turned first, but suddenly he had a fistful of Ross’ t-shirt and Ross’ hands were on his face and they were kissing furiously, desperately. There was no art to the kiss, no skill, just their mouths seeking contact and more contact, seeking whatever they could get.

And that’s when Matty put his hands on Ross’ hips and tried to push him back into the counter to regain control. But he pushed him into the stove instead which neither of them realized had been left on. Ross hissed suddenly and yelled out, “Fuck!” And Matty tore his mouth away and stepped back from him just as Adam and George and a few of the others came in from the living room to see what all the commotion was about. 

The room was suddenly too crowded and Matty stood apart from everyone, observing it all from someplace dazed and blurry. Adam was looking seriously at the spot where Ross had been burned as if he were a doctor, saying, “I think you need cold water.” George was cracking up at the whole situation. Ross was angrily asking who the fuck left the burner turned on. 

“What the fuck were you doing, mate?” George asked through tears of laughter. 

“Who fucking cares? I’m injured!” Ross yelled. 

“Oh, he’s injured!” George said mocking Ross’ shrill tone and nudging Matty with an elbow, eyebrows raised. 

Matty could feel that his cheeks were burning, and he tried to laugh along. But he was thinking about the split second before chaos had erupted–his bottom lip captured between Ross’ lips, the taste of him, the feeling of him. He was thinking about how everything had gone wrong just as they were about to get it so right.

“Fuck off,” Ross said to everyone crowding around him. He sounded legitimately angry which was rare from Ross, out of character, so people listened and obeyed. They left the room, leaving Matty and Ross alone again. 

Matty found an old dish towel and ran it under the cold tap, handing it to Ross without meeting his eyes. 

“Would you? It’s hard to reach” Ross said, turning his back to Matty and lifting up his shirt.  

The skin there was red, angry. Matty pressed the towel against it gently, pulling back when Ross inhaled sharply, and pressing again when Ross nodded to him. 

“Sorry,” Matty said. 

“Well, it was fun while it lasted,” Ross said, turning to look at Matty over his shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Matty said, smiling up at him, and then he lifted the towel off of Ross’ back. “Does it still hurt?” 

Ross’ cheeks were red and there was something sparkling in his eyes. “Not so much,” he said. 

Now, Matty leans forward and presses his mouth to the scar, licks at it with his tongue. “Of course I remember,” he says. He kisses it again and again and again. 

This is his scar, he thinks. This is where he will center his map. This is where he will plant his flag. 

“Not many kisses leave actual scars, but yours did,” Ross says, sounding far too soft and poetic for Matty to handle. 

“I love you,” he says, kissing the scar again. He stretches the length of his body out on top of Ross’ back. He kisses the corner of Ross’ mouth, the back of his ear, his beard, any place on Ross’ face that he can reach. 

“I love you, too,” Ross says, laughing and twisting his head so he can catch Matty’s mouth with his own. 

[deluxewhump]

The Blackmuir Reign: Gift Horse part II

Part one

On the trail trying to find the treasonous Lord Burns (and Matteo), an increasingly desperate Therrin has a messenger in his grasp.

CW: torture for information, breaking bones (fingers), misunderstanding of a sort, vomiting, surprise female whumpee, a little watered down medieval sexism baked in I suppose but not gratuitous or obnoxious is my intent and hope

Therrin was moving with a purpose Saxon didn’t quite recognize. His armor was light for riding on horseback, a chest piece making his wide shoulders even broader and reinforced leather down his arms to the wrist. He wore no crown but his golden hair, whipping in a cold Muirish breeze.

Saxon was used to Therrin being the outsider, the blue eyed Muir amid them, sticking out like a sore thumb and always looking over his shoulder to see what guard or perfume-greased nobleman of Aurelio’s court might be listening in to their conversations.

Here, in this foggy and moorish land, he looked part of the landscape. He moved with a familiarity and strength Saxon did not feel here, both arms swinging confidently at his trim sides where Saxon found himself with a hand resting on the hilt of his sword, a nervous stance he’d seen on Knights returning from long excursions in unfriendly places.

Therrin’s man took them to another tent, dirty white canvas not so thick or fine as the King’s. An officer’s, perhaps.

Therrin ducked inside and held the canvas door up like a curtain for Saxon to follow him in. A straw mat had been thrown down at the entrance to cover the mud the soldiers created with their boots in under a day. Saxon thought the straw mat a futile gesture, and hoped to his favorite constellation of stars that this pursuit of Lord Burns was not as futile.

Be strong, Mattie. We haven’t forgotten you.

In the center of the dim, stale tent, tied to a thick stake that kept the frame upright, was the Burns messenger. His head was hung low, arms tight behind his back. His legs were spread at a 60 degree angle. He pulled them close to himself in fear as Therrin and Saxon approached.

Therrin nudged the messenger in the shin with his pointed riding boot with no response. He was wearing a peasants tunic, rough spun and loose fitting. His boots were worn nearly to the bone, and an empty knife hilt was about his skinny thigh. Burned into the leather was a B, and some sort of sigil. Saxon assumed it was the mark of the man Therrin was after, Lord Burns. The one who attacked the castle on the night of his arrival, and who was responsible for Matteos abduction.

“Therrin Blackmuir,” Saxon introduced, having done so a hundred times in his father’s lands to mixed reactions. “King of the Muirlands, the easterly reaches, the southerlands, Aepoli, and of the sea.”

Therrin gave him a quick glance when he proclaimed him King of the southerlands. The messenger dared a peek at the King through a veil of dirty hair the color of the tawny mice that braved castle Osier at night for scraps.

“I suppose it’s difficult to genuflect when you’re sitting on your ass tied to a pole,” Saxon offered. Once, Therrin would’ve laughed or at least glanced his way with a smirk. But the King gave no indication he’d heard him, his jaw working and eyes fixed downward.

Therrin went swiftly to one knee in front of the prisoner, taking his mousy hair in one fist and yanking his head back. “I have no time or patience for formality,” he said coldly.

Saxon found his hand drifting to his sword hilt again, and peeled it off with some strength of will.

“We know you are a messenger or scout for Lord Burns, or those loyal to him. He has made his treasonous intent clear. Tell me everything you know of his whereabouts, the plot on my home and the unlawful kidnapping of Lord Osier’s brother, and I might let you live.” Therrin leaned closer to the messenger’s ear and lowered his voice. “Keep your silence, and I’ll break every bone I can think to break until you beg me to put a sword in your throat.”

“Therrin…” Saxon said, though Therrin paid no mind.

The messenger swallowed. Therrin tightened his grip in his filthy hair. “Shall I start with your fingers, since they’re already conveniently behind your back?”

The messenger wrenched his head to the side and spat in the King's face. Therrin drew back and slapped him sharply, knocking his head to the other shoulder.

“Fine,” Therrin said after a beat of heavy silence. “I’ve been nothing but patient, but those who hinder me in my goal to better this land… to help my people…will find my patience running ever thinner.”

There was a snap like a twig underfoot, followed by a throaty scream of surprise and pain from between the tied boy’s clenched teeth. Therrin still held his head back by the hair, looking down into his eyes. He’d simply reached behind the pole and snapped a finger, Saxon realized with a twinge of nausea. He’d never seen Therrin like this. They’d been in fights and brawls, plenty. But his sense of sportsmanship and fairness was as strong as any man Saxon had met. As strong as his own, perhaps stronger.

The stakes are much higher, he reminded himself. He thought of Matteo and it eased his queasiness. This messenger was their only current lead.

“I’ll make it easier for you,” Therrin said dangerously. “Answer me. What is your message? Who were you hoping to reach?”

The messenger's face was pale, beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead and cheeks. His face was beardless and smooth, and his hair stuck to his face in wild strands. He shuddered and whimpered, but said nothing.

“I can break another, or simply squeeze the one I just broke,” Therrin said. Saxon could hear the tremor just beneath the surface of his voice. He knew his heart was pounding, that his anger must be whitehot to behave like this. “I’m not sure which will hurt worse, in truth.”

He reached behind the messenger again. Saxon heard no snap but the pitiful thing wailed, bucking against the pole.

Saxon furrowed his brow. Therrin said something he didn’t catch and there was another brittle snap. A high pitched scream filled the tent, loud enough to make their ears ring.

“Your Grace,” Saxon snapped, pulling the King to his feet. Therrin’s eyes were low, his breath coming in quick, controlled pants.

“That’s a girl, Therrin.” Saxon hissed at him. A soldier led a horse past the tent, its hooves sucking at the mud. Everyone in the camp must’ve heard the messengers agonized screams. Rain began to patter the canvas roof of the tent, darkening the fabric.

Therrin blinked at him, slow to comprehend. Saxon half expected him to argue.

He looked back at the messenger as if for the first time. “Shit,” he breathed, squinting at the boyish form. Once it occurred to him, he wouldn’t be able to unsee it. “I think you’re right.”

The scream gave her away, Saxon almost said. A facade was dropped in that moment of agony.

“Did Burns think I wouldn’t press a messenger for information if it was a girl? Is that his idea of humor?”

Saxon noted the word press in lieu of torture. He knew what kind of King Therrin thought himself, what he wanted to be. He knew how his mind worked, what kept him up at night. This ugly desperation was beneath him. And yet he’d stood behind him and said nothing, since it was for Matteo. He was culpable.

“I don’t know if that changes your approach,” Saxon said as the rain came down harder above their heads. The mud inside the tent was glistening, little puddles growing beneath their boots. The straw mat was apt to become a raft here shortly.

Therrin covered his face with his hands, dug his fingers into his eyes to rub them roughly.

“Fuck,” he said finally, and turned back to the messenger.

He pushed her hair away from her clammy face so they could better see her, took her chin and tilted it up, down, trying to confirm their suspicion. Her cheek was red from the slap he’d given her.

“Let me know you can speak, at the very least,” said the King. “All I’ve heard you do is scream.”

The messenger looked blearily into the King's face before throwing up on his lap.           

- 

tags

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[terastalungrad]

BB20: Friday 13 October

Live Eviction 1: Farida V Kerry

The biggest change so far to the ITV flavour of Big Brother is that no episode so far has ended with "who goes? you decide".

The housemates nominated on Thursday 12 October, meaninging the nominations aren't shown until eviction night. This feels so strange!

The housemates facing eviction were revealed in companion show Big Brother: Late & Live. I will not be watching that show, no matter how often my mother asks me to.

Nominations are my favourite part of the show, so I'm not going to talk about who's up for eviction yet. I'm going to live in the moment, and enjoy the unfolding story.

OH! One nomination each!! That's new. It's always been two each, hasn't it?

Channelle nominates Kerry, for being blunt and rude towards Farida.

Non-alphabetical order to nominate too. I don't approve. My charts will be alphabetical for certain.

Hallie nominates Farida because she talks over people, and hasn't put in the effort to get to know others.

This really highlights the difference between what's broadcast and the vibe in the house. Footage really makes it look like Farida's bonded nicely with Hallie. But then, the main occasion where we saw Farida ask Hallie questions, it was "is it gay for men to fancy trans women" innit. Not ideal.

Henry nominates Farida because, when Zak asked Henry what boarding school was like, Farida interrupted to explain boarding schools (incorrectly, to Henry's experience).

Matty nominates Kerry because her loud voice goes through him, and also because she moaned about her meal. "It annoys me when people aren't grateful" - here, grateful to Big Brother!

Trish nominates Paul! She doesn't find him deep.

Horrifying thought - these housemates ARE in alphabetical order. Are we skipping housemates?? We've skipped Dylan, Farida, Jenkin, Jordan, Kerry, Noky, Olivia, Paul and Tom so far. Yinrun and Zak left to go too. Am I missing some Nominations Uncut show or something? Dear dear. How very disturbing.

Okay, Marcus Bentley claims only five nominations have been cast so far. Maybe it is just a weird order.

Zak nominates Henry! For not speaking to everyone in the house, and for giving up immediately in the staying-in-bed task. Teamwork, and a positive attitude to tasks, are really important to Zak.

Yinrun becomes the first housemate to nominate out of alphabetical order. This is a relief to me, since it suggests we WILL see everyone's nominations. As if Yinrun didn't already bring me enough joy.

Yinrun nominates Kerry, because she's hurt by Kerry seeming uninterested in her.

Hallie powerfully representing the trans experience of talking with great pride about the vagina and breasts she'll have in the future. I love her.

Jordan nominates Paul because of his bodily fluid-based humour.

"I know they have this phrase, Big Brother, 'gives me the ick'. And that phrase itself gives me the ick."

Dylan nominates Farida, since she still doesn't know people's names after nearly a week. She gets his, Kerry's and Chanelle's names wrong.

Paul nominates Farida for being inconsistent in her aims from the show! Does she want to spread the word of Islam, or does she want other outcomes [presumably promoting her makeup tutorial YouTube]? Paul is here to "have a good time" and "be meself", and nominates Farida for being "fake".

How consciously is Paul casting himself as foundational winner Craig from BB1 here? Ever since that first series, Big Brother has struggled to move past the idea that good winners are direct, consistent salt-of-the-earth types, and villains are inconsistent and manipulative.

This bothers me, since I don't think directness IS a fundamental moral good at all times. I think it's FINE to have a moan about someone, while still being able to be friendly to the person in question. Where is the line between being two-faced and being tactful?

Olivia nominates Farida for helping herself to Olivia's salmon.

Noky nominates Kerry for negativity, both to people's faces and behind their backs.

Tom nominates Farida for talking AT him rather than conversing WITH him. He feels spoken over because of his age.

Jordan talks to Trish about sex and emotional connection, and I WISH we had a longer, less edited version of this conversation. We've only been left with Jordan's punchlines. Which are very funny, but I'd love to know what point he was making.

Tom speaks to Chanelle and Jenkin when he returns from the diary room, claiming that the process is "'eavy".

Fariday nominates Kerry for gossiping and having tantrums.

Jenkin is wearing a shirt with a pattern of birds, because his mam likes birds.

Jenkin nominates Farida because he thinks she's only here for money and fame, and is therefore taking the place of someone who wants to enjoy themselves and learn about themselves.

Kerry nominates Farida, for being hard work, selfish, and hard to like.

Kerry goes to have a lil cry after nominating.

I suspect Farida will go tonight. Both she and Kerry have done stuff the pulblic would find annoying, but we've also seen loads of Kerry's vulnerability.

Voting is free this year. Maybe that's why ITV is less bothered about getting nominations out early. Or maybe it's so the housemates spend less time tortured by the knowledge they face eviction? Bet it's that one, actually.

Since this version of the show is a lot nicer, it's really striking how intense the lights and music are when nominations are announced. Noky shakes with adrenaline.

Jenkin expected to be nominated because of his snoring.

Farida reckons youngsters have turned turned against the older members of the house. A bit rich given she nominated Kerry herself.

Interesting seeing Farida and Kerry bond over facing eviction, given that they nominated each other.

Farida tells Olivia off for smirking. Olivia is offended, because "I wasn't laughing at YOU!" But ... yes she was. Olivia's surprised to be told off not because she wasn't smirking at Farida, but because she didn't intend for Farida to notice. She was just smirking across the room at Paul.

She complains about this later to Paul, Jordan and Henry. And she comes so close to noticing that Farida was right - but she can't move past, "I didn't deserve to be criticised".

Just noticed there's a non-binary person in the sponsorship ads. Marcus Bentley using the word "themself", woo!

Ahh, you can vote for free, but only 5 times each.

Kerry speaks to Olivia about the issue with Farida. Kerry's basically on Olivia's side here. Hallie's attention is drawn, and she comes over to agree with Olivia. They're joined by Trish and Chanelle (neither of whom actually nominated Fariday), and we have the largest-scale bitching session we've seen so far.

This isn't really about Olivia. This is an excuse to vent. Maybe the nomination results have given people permission to talk openly about being annoyed by Farida.

Yinrun teaches Hallie some Chinese. She's shocked by Hallie's excellent pronunciation.

"We've got it on our profile we've been in the Big Brother house", says Farida. This show is primarily about boosting the profiles of influencers.

Kerry tries having a bonding conversation with Farida, and it ends up being a bit of an argument. Farida says, "I'm still the same person I came in here as" - an identity statement.

But Kerry takes it as an implied criticism. That Farida's saying "I'm the same UNLIKE YOU KERRY". But Farida's doing nothing of the sort. She's just making a statement about herself.

This is a common problem in conversation. You're talking to a friend, your partner, and they say something about themselves. This causes you to say something about YOURself - and now it sounds like you're claiming they're the opposite.

"I'm terrible at making new friends at parties," they might say.

And this inspires you to reflect on your own experience in parties.

"I love parties," you say, as you think of parties you've attended. "I always go expecting to have a good time, and end up talking to random people in the kitchen."

"I'm not saying I don't expect to have a good time," they say defensively.

Because in context, it sounds like you offered your personal experience as advice. Not merely, "this is what I do, "but "this is what YOU should do."

Farida tells Zak she doesn't blame him for protecting his friends. The implication here is that Zak nominated her or Kerry because they're older. In fact, Zak nominated Henry.

In any case, Kerry disagrees with the idea that it's young vs old in the house. "Callie's my mate, and she's the youngest!"

Farida's annoyed that Kerry isn't hearing her. "You're like, 'Callies my friend, Callie's my friend'."

"Her name's Hallie, and she is my friend."

Just a bit of fun here. Farida gets people's names wrong all the time. That's a thing. But Kerry did accidentally call her Callie first. An honest mistake, of course.

Argh, Farida brings up stories from her day job, where parents just want to be their children's friends, forgetting that they're the child.

Kerry's offended here, and - well, she's right to be! I don't think Farida realises how offensive that is to say, but it's clear she DOES see 18-year-old Hallie as a child, and 40-year-old Kerry as a sad case that wants to be friends with her.

Kerry: She's just said to me that the reason you lot like me is because you think I'm your mum! I'm shaking. I'm angry.

Olivia: I don't think of you as my mum. You just tell me when I'm out of order.

Kerry: Which is often.

Kerry thinks she's fated to go because Farida has her social media followers.

"No, cause just because someone follows you on social media doesn't mean they actually like you," says Olivia. Horrifying thought.

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

Chapter 23

Word Count : 2182

Mention of fight details , flirting

I actually really enjoyed writing this one , I don’t know why, there was just something about it , any thoughts and comments would be much appreciated from you guys , I’m actually in love with these lads

George's POV

Once the school had gone over the incident with Reece and I like a thousand times and checked details with others that's when they called my dad to come and get me. That was when the shit hit the fan, I was just sat in the receptionist office when my dad came storming through the doors and just stood there waiting for me to stand up, I followed him out just in wait of the onslaught of trouble I'm about to be in. Once we got into the car that was when it began

"What the fuck George , I literally just spoke to you this morning about your behaviour lately" , he's red in the face and I can already see that he's seething , he's had to leave work to come and get me but I'm not going to just sit and take it right now.

"What , I was sticking up for a friend, what did you expect me to do , just leave him to get tormented, you raised me better than that , right?" , I raise my voice a little to get my point across because he has he raised me to look after those who  can't or won't do it themselves

"We've had this before though George , we've been telling you since you where 8 years old , there are better ways at resolving your issues then using your hands" , he has been telling me that for the longest time but like nine times out of ten it's not even my fault or me that's started it, I've always just been bigger and teller than most kids so I've always done slightly more damage is that my fault no , I don't think so. I just feel the need to protect people , I always have

"I understand that dad but it wasn't even me who started it" , there we go resorting to the answer of every 5 year old in the world, he started it , Jesus what am I even saying. "Seriously dad , I was just trying to help Joe"

"I know that George and I appreciate you helping your friend , but youve gone and got yourself excluded again, this behaviour of yours needs to be sorted, As I said this morning , I will be grounding you so for the next two weeks you will be home after school , won't be going to that lad Adams is it ?, also I know you won't be at school but I expect you to still be doing your studies and I'll be taking your phone before you go to bed 10 on the dot so you actually get sleep" , A sigh escapes my lips before I even have a second to think about it. "I'm sorry, Is no there a disagreement you have with that"

"No dad" ,  I just rest back on my seat and close my eyes escaping to my happy place as my dad continues to ramble on while he drives, I don't really catch on to anything he's saying at this point I've lost interest in what he's talking about. The amount of times I've heard this same exact speech a number of times. I know he means well and he’s just trying to get me to be a well upstanding citizen but I’m doing it my way and doing an Okay job. Once I’ve noticed he’s finished his onslaught I take my phone out and shove my headphones in and I really want to talk to Matty right now but he can’t see me like this he’ll just worry.

“Sorry, I got a little bit distracted, What have you been up to then love ?” I wanna see his face it will calm me but if I keep snap chatting him he’ll wonder why I’m not showing him my face “also do you have instagram”

I just rest my phone on my leg until I get a reply , the rest of the drive home was quiet but awkward, my dad drops me at the front door and tells me to make sure I get studying before racing off back to work, my phone goes off once I reach my bedroom , just Matty sending a link to his instagram and he was telling me that he’d spent a lot of the day writing a new song , he had also asked me if I was okay again

“Yeh I’m fine love I promise” , I click on the link that takes me to his instagram page, and there I go losing my breath again at just how gorgeous he is. There was a lot of pictures with his friends and his family but my favourites are the ones of him just looking like he’s asked someone to take it and he’s just being the model that he is. They make me laugh, I can just see him begging his mates to take them . There’s also a lot of pictures of him with his guitars and his band mates playing tiny gigs and he looks so free in them, like he’s having the best time. A cigarette hanging from his mouth or in his hand in like 6 out 10 of them. The latest one was the picture he sent me of himself a Louis so I like it and send a quick

bedforddanes75: That’s my boys right there ❤️

And just leave a few more comments on a few pictures that might be bit weird but I want him to know I’m there. There’s a picture of him with a couple of his friends looking like there at a house party Matty has a bottle of wine in one hand and a cig in the other and he’s smiling like really smiling, like he’s mid laugh or something.

bedforddanes75: You need to be happy like that all the time love ❤️

A notification comes up on the top of my screen slipping me out of my insta stalking “you enjoying yourself there Georgie?”, shit I totally slipped my mind that he’s see all the comments and likes just come in all at once, my checks start to heat up already and I smile to myself and open my texts to reply

“Whoops” , I quickly go back to his insta and find the last picture to comment on just to be cheeky, he’s wearing a Newcastle Football shirt and he’s standing with his dad outside the stadium and I comment

bedforddanes75: Don’t like Mackems ay ? 😂😂

“Your a cheeky sod Daniel”, another text from Matty shows at the top of my screen and it makes me literally laugh out loud.

“Hit a nerve did I?” , I know I’m just winding him up but it’s what I do best really I’m a massive wind up always have been. I throw my rucksack across the room as I forgot I still had it on my back and lay back down probably on my bed “oh , yeh , my uh dad grounded me”, I have to tell him because what if I can’t call him when he needs me , Ill still have my laptop but I have to wait till my parents go to bed

“Why?, can we still call ?”

“Yeh I still have my phone till about 10, but we’ll have to wait to call till my parents are asleep, I’m sorry”, I really hate that I can’t be there for him every minute but I’m sure it’ll be alright we can work it out.

“What happened?”

“Just something at school it’s not important love”, I don’t want him thinking I’m a violent guy because I’m really not, it just get wound up easily especially when bullies are involved. “I can call till my family come home if you like?”

“If that’s okay, I don’t want you in more trouble darling”

“I wanna hear your voice , I miss you” , I’ll have to hide my face from him, I’ll just do some work while I’m calling him so he doesn’t see it. That might work maybe just maybe, I make my way over to my desk and set my laptop up and push the screen further back so it’s facing the roof more so my face isn’t to mu h in veiw then I get my books out to work through some science. Once I’m all set up I pull up Mattys contact and press call and wait for him to pop up

“Heya Darlin” from what I can see he’s sat on his bedroom floor and he’s got his guitar in hand pen sticking out of his mouth and a fag on a tiny ashtray and there’s a million papers scattered around his small body.

“Hi love, you writing something new”, he looks up to the screen for a second before going back to plucking his guitar strings, and I start my work

“I’m trying but I can’t seem to get it right, it’s a nightmare, I’m getting somewhere slowly though” , he looks really into it and I can’t take my eyes away from him , he’s just plucking away and writing stuff down , my mind is already off of the work I should be doing and I’m just watching him while still trying to keep my face out of shot. “Where are you Georgie I can’t see you”

I wave at the screen a little so he can see my hand “I’m right here love”, I want him to see me so he’s happy but I know he’ll just freak out at me if he sees my face covered in cuts. I can’t put that one him right now “I’m just working is all”

“I wanna see you darling, what’s wrong seriously”, he’s dropped the guitar beside him and picked up his laptop and it’s all I can see is his face trying to figure out why he can’t see me.

“Nothings wrong love, I’m just trying to work this stuff out , you can see me in a second I promise” , I know I’m being stupid , and I know it’ll just upset him but it’s better this way once it’s healed it’ll be better , I don’t know how I’m going to keep it from him that long but I’ll have too. There’s a silence for a while , when Matty speaks up again

“George come on tell me what’s wrong please, what happened, you know I won’t judge” , fuck I know that , I know he won’t it’s more of a me thing and sit and think for a while before I decide that fine I’ll just show him.

“Right fine I’ll show you but please don’t think I’m a bad guy” , I pull the screen down and remove my hat so he can see it better , it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be but it’s still a lot just a bust lip , black eyes growing exponentially and my nose is still a bit messed up, I sigh and look back down at my lap leaning back on my chair. “I got into a fight and I uh , I didn’t want you too see, I didn’t want you to think I’m a bad guy”, he’s searching my face and he’s got a cheeky little smile on his face, I can’t work this kid out sometimes.

“You look hot” , the smile on his face grows bigger when I look back up to him and my eyes widen at his statement, “like scars are beautiful and you look hot, like you defended someone’s honour, that’s fit”.

I scoff a little “your a strange one love but yeh , I was just tryna stick up for my friend Joel, some lad was just winding him up …”, While trying to explain myself, he’s still looking at me with those deep brown eyes, cheekily smiling at me, making me flustered again. “ and uh yeh he threw the first punch like but I got my point across this time I think”

“Is that why you got grounded , being a little rebel”

“Just a-lot went on today , and it all just boiled up to that and I lost it I think, you know just teenage drama”

The smile plastered across his face just keeps getting bigger as I explain “Teenage drama has my heart, teenage angst is what I write about most yanno lad”, we both break down in fits of laughter after that. We’re both red in the face from laughing. “But on a more serious note though is everything okay”

“Yeh I’m grand , I don’t know how the other lad is, but I’m grand, He just keeps getting on at Joel cuz he’s gay, and then after I posted you on my story ealier my ex tried to get information out of me about who you where but I don’t want her to be involved right, want you to myself for now, and my dad was just being a whole fuckin nightmare this morning” , I let out a breath after just that word vomit was a lot.

“I’m sorry that was a lot” , He doesn’t say anything for a minute or two just looking at me his eyes sparkling “what?”

“You want me to yourself?”

[akillerplant-blog]

Since it's almost Christmas, will the Lawrence smooching everyone come back?

[frogtanii]

< omg they were roommates :0

extortion buddies

series masterlist

——————————————————————————

an: *matty b voice* you thought it was over? ha 😼 ALSO did y’all see kei’s chance to ask you out 😳👀 whoops he’s a lil slow 🙈

taglist: @notamazinglizzy • @waitforitillwritemywayout • @1-800-schmacked • @babyshoyo • @tetsufairy • @deephumandragonperson • @krynnza • @tsukkiboii • @chaichai-the-weeb • @raineedayze • @moonlightreetops • @akirudo • @febvrury • @kamidoesthings • @boba-teaaaa • @lookuptotheskiesandsee • @akaashiissimp • @akvvard • @kittynovaaaa • @tinymouth • @ethylalcoholforfandoms • @smellybananaz • @animeanxiety • @angrylittlezizi • @mariamonteon97 • @rotn-decay • @galagcica • @rachelexe • @soleil-sole • @freyafolkvangr • @pleasemelafook-outta-ere • @hon3y-baby • @itsalyssa15 • @kac-chowsballs • @1987hotschott • @tsumu-core • @mangobeann • @moonlightaangel • @jaayypasta • @blveteaaa • @h0ngh0ngh0ng • @multifandomphenomena • @micmic-21 • @bokutosuwus • @melacholy • @loving-unicorns106 • @vanilla-beanzz • @obsessedwhxre • @hebotoxincheck • @slythxr • @kodzu-ken

[comphersjost]

All For You (4 times you tried to tell Brady you loved him, and the one time Matty did it for you) ➸ Brady Tkachuk and Matthew Tkachuk

reahi, i had an idea and opened a document and i couldnt stop writing, this is what came out. it was edited but i made a lot of changes after, so please forgive any mistakes, typos, plot holes, etc. enjoy :)

Finally fed up with pining over your best friend from afar, you enlist the help of Matthew to help you get the guy - you’re just not really sure who the guy is anymore. Or: 4 times you tried to tell Brady you loved him, and the one time Matty told him for you.

word cout: 5.1k (sorry lmao)

warnings: a LOT of angst, like a lot. smut, nothing as wild as ive written before, car sex, cockwarming, etc. etc. usual cussing, love triangles ig? alcohol, super brief mention of weed, mentions of sex while drunk/high

part two

part three

part four

part five

masterlist

I.

You tried to take Matty’s smile and what was supposed to be an encouraging nod to heart, and let it boost your with confidence. But it didn't. It really, really didn't. You could see Brady on the other side of the room, smiling down at your mom the way he always did. It was that smile he reserved for your parents, the charming, boyish, smile. It was the same smile that got your parents to let you out of the house late in high school even though you were grounded. It was the smile you got to see sitting on your rooftop just a little too tipsy at 2 in the morning. The same smile you wished you could kiss right off his face. 

Brady glances up from your mom’s face for a moment, and catches your eyes. His smile widens impossibly, and you watch him excuse himself from your mother. She smiles knowingly at you, a gentle sparkle in her eye as Brady finds his way towards you.

You latch onto him as soon as you're in his arms, pressing yourself to him, closer closer closer. “Hi,” you hear him mumble against the top of your head. 

“Hi, B,” you breathe back, barely audible over the chatter in the room. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too, buttercup,” Brady beams down at you, squeezing your shoulders again. 

Your throat dries up as you stare up at him. You always loved the way his eyes crinkled shut when he smiled big like he was now. A tiny part of you wants to say fuck it and stand up on the tips of your toes to kiss him full on the mouth. You feel yourself swallow, your mouth opens and you want to get the words out, just like Matthew said you could. 

“Listen, Brady I-” 

“Y/N I want you to meet someone.” 

You and Brady spoke at the same time, and rather than let you finish your sentence, Brady lets you out of his arms, resting his hand against your lower back and leading you somewhere deeper into the house. 

“I want you to meet my friend,” he continues, “I know you haven't seen anyone since… but anyways, yeah I think you might like him.” Your lips remain parted, the words stuck in your throat. Of all the things you expected coming to the Tkachuk house tonight, of everything you could have thought might happen during your plan to confess your feelings to your best friend, an off-handed mention of your piece of shit ex-boyfriend and Brady attempting to set you up with someone was far from it.  

Your eyes are hazy, your focus far from the situation at hand, even as you let Brady introduce you to his friend. You barely remember the poor kid’s name, too caught up in trying to keep your shit together. Your eyes find Matthew’s, hating the sympathetic smile on his lips. 

You don't want his pity. It just makes you feel worse. You turn abruptly to Brady’s friend and stop him mid-sentence. “I’m really sorry,” you say, “I just don't think this is going to work out, I have my eyes on someone else.” He doesn't say anything as you walk away, bee-lining straight for Matthew. 

You grab his forearm, ignoring his protests when you drag him out to the backyard. 

“Why did he do that?” you say once you're outside. “Why did he introduce me to someone that I could date? What if you're wrong, Matty? What if he doesn't like me like you think he does?” 

Matthew didn't have an answer for that. He did know one thing though. 

“Then he’s an idiot, Y/N, and he can't see a good thing, a great thing, even when she's right in front of him.” You let out a wet laugh, trying your best not to read too deep into what Brady had tried to do tonight. Instead you let him tuck a strand behind your ear and pull you into a comforting hug, the both of you unaware of Brady’s eyes on you, a smile tugging at his lips at the thought of you two together. 

II.

Ottawa playing a game against Calgary meant you had to cancel any and all plans you had for that weekend. The whole Tkachuk family couldn't make it from St. Louis, but you living in Calgary made up for it. You were shaking with excitement - you hadn't seen Brady in a month and a half, since that horrible attempt at telling him how you felt. You hoped that this time would be different. 

The arms that wrap around your waist in the middle of the hotel lobby are all too familiar to alarm you. 

“Hi, buttercup,” comes the soft whisper, and you can't even attempt to fight the smile that pulls at your lips. 

“Hi, Brady,” you whisper back, feeling Brady loosen his hold on your so you could twist around in his grip. “You've been gone too long.” 

“Hmm, I know,” Brady hums, kissing your hairline gently. “I'm sorry I'm not visiting as much, you know it has nothing to do with you right?” 

“I know, Brady,” you reassure him. “I just miss you.” I love you. The thought is screaming in your head, begging for you to let out.

I love you I love you I love you

“Just say the three little words, Y/N, tell him how you feel.” Those were Matty’s words, just this morning when you had a crisis about seeing Brady again. You paced across the floor of his living room, the walls and tables all over his apartment covered in jerseys and odd paraphernalia he’d acquired over his time playing in the NHL.

“I can't, Matty, what if he,” you gasped for air at the idea, “what if he doesn't love me back, I don't think I could handle that.” 

Matt had laughed at you this morning, assuring that to the best of his knowledge (and he knew his brother pretty damn well), Brady was in love with you too. Besides, he'd said, even if he wasn't in love with you back there was nothing you could do to make him want to stop being friends with you. 

Brady pulls away from you, preparing to head to whatever restaurant you were supposed to meet Matthew at. 

“So, Brady, there was something that I-” 

“Hey, what's this?” Brady’s curious expression made you pause. He tugs the fabric of your sweater down a little by your chest, exposing your collarbone, and a dark purple mark you hadn't meant for anyone to see. Your blood runs cold, knowing exactly where that's from. 

Matthew had given it to you, when the both of you had gotten just a little too wine drunk and you'd ended up in his lap. It was ironic really, you'd been discussing how to drop more hints to Brady about how you feel about him. He'd been helping you with that dilemma since the summer. And then last Sunday, you'd been over at his place for dinner, and the night had ended with him grabbing handfuls of your ass while you whined desperately against his mouth. 

There was no way you could tell Brady how you felt now, not with him having just asked about the bruise his brother had left on your skin. 

“You and my brother finally getting it on?” Brady says suggestively, a shit eating grin on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You feel like a deer stuck in the headlights. 

“Why would you even say that?” you snap, ignoring the way he recoils, lips parted and eyes wide in surprise. “Come on we have to go meet your brother for dinner.” 

III. 

You and Matthew had bought your plane tickets home for Christmas together, deciding that it made more sense since you both lived in Calgary and were going home to the same neighborhood. Brady’s flight was coming in the day after. You’d been spending most of your time at the Tkachuk house, lounging around with Matthew. You’d hung around their house to stay out of your mom’s way, knowing having people around would only just stress her out as she prepared for your whole family to come home. 

Today was the day Brady’s flight was coming in. Chantal and Keith chose to spend the day out shopping before heading to the airport to pick up Brady late in the afternoon. Taryn was spending the day at her friend’s house, leaving you and Matthew alone in the house.

Which, you should have known it was a bad idea. You swore it was nothing between you and Matt, you swore it was just about Matt helping you get the guy, get Brady. But it seemed like the more you, Matt, and alcohol were all involved, you ended up in precarious positions. 

Today you chose not to drink, hooded eyes watching Matt take another drink of whatever liquor he’d chosen this time, before your gaze slid back to the pipe in your hand, lighter dangling between two fingers. You knew how this would end, you and Matt would get wasted, you’d fuck, rough, hard, fast, desperate, and then you would go back to pretending it never happened, went back to him helping you with getting Brady to notice your interest. You didn't talk about it, and you were almost always some kind of inhibited. 

You refused to fuck Matthew in his childhood bedroom, arguing that it was bad karma. He laughed at you then, a soft laugh, clear of any indication that Matt is drunk out of his mind. The laugh is too innocent of a laugh for the way his voice lowers after it ends. He talks you into it, seduces you more like. He’s got you sliding into the backseat of a beat up old Toyota Corolla, his first car (“And how exactly is that any better than your childhood bedroom, Matty?). He tells you that you have hours alone in the house before anyone comes home and you might as well pass the time. 

The talking and seducing turns into heated, sloppy kisses. You giggle against his mouth, tugging at the curls at the back of his head while avoiding the thought that you swore to yourself you would tell Brady how you felt when he got home tonight. But then Matthew’s lips trailed away from your mouth, over your jaw, your cheek, the curve of your throat, and any thought of Brady was gone. 

The messy kisses turned into you riding Matt, his old car rocking back and forth as you bounced on his dick. He kisses you to quiet his moans. No one was supposed to be home for hours but, just in case. He's got you whining desperately while you clench around him, his giant hands squeezing your hips. He guides you up and down on his cock, relishing in the way your body moves the way he wants without a fight. 

I bet Brady couldn't fuck you like I can. 

The thought flashes through his brain before he can stop it, and then it's like someone put a red tint on his world view. You belonged to him. Matthew’s possessive rage has him fucking harder into you, his hands falling from your hips to your ass to slam you forcefully down on him. Growls fall from his lips, the thought of his younger brother fucking you making him intent on bringing you to as many orgasms as possible. That thought is also what made his teeth come down on your skin. He sucks and bites into your skin all over your chest, leaving marks that would expose that you were having sex with someone to anyone who saw - that would expose you to Brady. 

You let out almost a squeal when you cum, clenching around Matthew’s cock and sobbing desperately. You don't see the smug grin on his face when he watches you cum, only letting him keep doing what he's doing because it just feels so damn good. 

Matt follows through on his mental promise, fucking you through as many orgasms as he could (5, the last time he checked, he lost count). His hands flex over your ass, sighing contentedly as he pulls you so that you sink all the way back down on his cock. He pulls you to his chest, nuzzling into you as the two of you doze off. 

Brady finds you that way, seeing the way you’re nuzzled into his brother’s chest through the windshield. The fact that he only saw you through the windshield protected him from seeing the most incriminating part, Matthew’s cock, still stuffed all the way inside of you. He can still see the bare skin of yours and Matt’s shoulders, so he opts out of waking you up, instead heading towards his room to shower off that airport smell and nap, a devastatingly pretty blonde attached to his hip. 

When you wake up, you feel groggy, but more sober than before. After you moaned pathetically when Matthew lifted you off of his cock, the two of you snuck back inside the house, managing to get you out the door and back to your house, and Matthew to his room. When you and your family made their way over for dinner later that night (the hickies and bruises on your skin successfully covered up), you feel your heart twist in your chest at what - or rather, who - greets you there. 

“Y/N! Hey!” Brady sounds so excited, so you humor him, hiding the way it feels like you're about to explode into a million little shreds. “This is my girlfriend, Autumn.” 

And - you really can't hate her. She's so nice, so incredibly kind and radiant and you really don't blame Brady for not taking his eyes off her the whole night. You didn't even know he was bringing her. Matthew catches your eyes, shaking his head sadly and mouthing I didn’t know. 

You shrug, your gaze falling back to the design on the carpet, how the spirals of each shape in the carpet almost mirror your heart, spiraling out and falling apart before your eyes. 

Matt’s gaze remains on you. Something about seeing your skin clear and bare after he had taken such good care to leave as many marks as possible didn't sit right with him. It made his gut twist; he wanted everyone to know. He wanted Brady to know. 

You hate the unpleasant feeling in your gut every time Autumn says something. And you really hate the way Brady smiles apologetically at you when you pulled him aside to say “You never told me you were seeing someone.” 

You just had to get through this night and then it was back to Calgary. 

IV.

Of all traditions your family has with Tkachuks, the vacations are your favorite. 

You're in California this offseason, renting a house in some random, tourist-attracting beach town. Both your families had always done something similar to this (letting the boys take care of a large chunk of it now that they're on NHL salaries), renting 2 houses and splitting you up between the parents and you and the Tkachuk kids once you were old enough. 

Brady had broken up with Autumn in May, which you couldn't be more thankful for, knowing that had that not happened she would've been on this vacation. “Nothing terrible happened,” he assured you over the phone that day. “She's an amazing girl, she really is, she's just...she's not the one for me.” 

You were glad he couldn't see the smile that pulled at your lips at those words.

As for Matthew...well, you'd barely done as much as look at him since Christmas, not wanting to fall back into the habit of sleeping with him whenever you managed to get drunk enough to forget Brady’s existence for half a second. 

But now Brady and Taryn are at the beach, meeting up with some friends they somehow convinced to drive up from Orange County, and you were laying outside in the rented house’s backyard on one of the pool chairs. You’d opted to stay home this time, having spent almost every minute of this vacation attached to Brady at the hip. 

It was pathetic, almost, the way you followed him around. Matt thought so, at least. What he thought was even more pathetic though, was the way Brady had the perfect fucking woman in front of him - pining after him even - and he still couldn't see it, no matter how hard you and Matt tried to make him. 

Matt hates that he finds himself wishing that the whiny voice you used to get Brady to do things you wanted was following him around instead, like the incessant bug he'd teased you about being when you whined for the millionth time to Brady that it was hot. 

Brady had looked at you all soft in the moment, leaning down to kiss your forehead before placing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. “Not hot enough for you not to cuddle with me,” he’d said, your giggles prompting him to tickle your sides until you'd both forgotten about your complaining. 

“Y/N, you left your water bottle outside,” Matthew says abruptly, adding on a “by the way” so you two would stop staring at him like he interrupted something. Like he wasn't even supposed to be there. 

“Oh,” the realization makes you frown, and the pout that accompanies your furrowed brows almost make him combust from how cute you look. “Didn't know you noticed I left it out there.” 

Brady keeps his arm around you as he lets you take him back outside for the water bottle, making you miss the way Matt whispers “I always notice.”

- 

You briefly wondered what Matthew was doing, before the question was answered for you by a soft sensation against your knee. His lips trailed up your thigh, nosing at your skin before pressing another open-mouthed kiss into your thigh, making your eyes flutter open briefly. It's hot, your skin feels like it's on fire, buzzing, like you're vibrating from the inside out. 

Even with the sun washing over you the way that it is, the fire you feel on your tanned skin, Matthew’s lips make you burn. He makes you ache, the way he hasn't touched you like this in months. 

“Everyone is gone for the day,” he murmurs against you, kisses becoming more frequent across your hips. “All of them. I could fuck you and make you scream and no one would know.” His words make you shudder, your back arching as his lips traveled upwards, teeth coming out to mark you up all over your tits. “So pretty like this baby, when I mark you up like that.” 

You know that if you don't stop him now, Matt will get you in his bed - he would get you in his bed and then from there he'd take you apart with his fingers, his cock, his mouth. Then he’d use that same damn mouth that got you into bed with him to talk you into staying there. And as much as you love Brady… you can't resist him. You place your hand on his shoulder, his skin is warm, and it takes everything out of you to push him away. 

“Matty, stop, Matthew, stop it.” Suddenly you can feel the sun back on your skin, Matthew having retreated from you completely. 

“What's wrong?” he says softly, “Please, what did I do?” 

“Nothing,” you lie, closing your eyes again so you wouldn't have to look at him as you say your next words. “I'm telling Brady how I feel. Tonight. No matter what happens I’m telling him tonight.” 

“Oh. Good luck, then, I guess.” That's all Matthew says, then there's a shuffling noise and silence. Then the slam of the sliding door to the kitchen. 

You shift uncomfortably and turn your thoughts back to Brady. 

It’s later, when you’re curled up against Brady’s chest with a random movie playing on tv that you get cold feet. It’s just you and him, on the couch of the first floor of the house. Matthew is God knows where, and Taryn still hadn't gotten back from her friend’s house. This moment on the couch with him is perfect, it feels so domestic. You don't want to ruin this moment by telling him how you feel, and potentially - probably - being rejected. 

You promised yourself. 

You take a deep breath, ready to blurt out those three little words, and then - 

“So, you and my brother huh?” Brady murmurs, eyes remaining trained on the action scene on the screen in front of him. “I know you got defensive last time I mentioned it but you guys are good together, and I'm glad you finally see it.”

You feel like you can't breathe, your throat choking up. You want to cry, yell, scream, something to just let him know that you love him. 

“Actually, Brady -”

“Hey, don't worry it’s okay,” Brady laughs, reassuring you and pulling you closer to squeeze you. “I promise, I've seen you with him, and I think you guys are good together, don't worry about it.” You fall silent, not really knowing how to work your way out of this one. 

“We’re not together,” you say quietly, and you had the way Brady’s hum of acknowledgment sounds like he doesn't believe you. You give up on telling him tonight.

+1 

The expression on Brady’s face drops when he meets your eyes across the table. You were just so tired. And you knew that he could see it in your face. What with work absolutely kicking your ass, to the point where you were barely able to get this week off to come home to St. Louis. It’s the end of summer, which means you and Brady were about to go through months of hectic schedules and voicemails that say “Hey, sorry I just missed your call, life has been crazy lately.” Your gaze falls from the lines of Brady's face to the seat at his right side.

Autumn smiles at you, and you hate the way the warmth that radiates from her feels like a knife twisting deeper into your gut. You hate yourself for how much you hate Autumn, you know she doesn't deserve it. Brady catches your eye again, a brief flash of recognition sliding across his face before it's gone. You'd been avoiding him for the past three days since you got here, and you almost felt guilty for it. 

Matt’s hand gripping your thigh draws your attention away from Brady. He squeezes your thigh, smiling reassuringly at you and bumping your shoulder gently. It’s when Autumn finally stands from the table, smiling sweetly at Keith and Chantal, that you release the breath you'd been holding in all night. Brady says he's going to walk her out, a car waiting for her outside to take her to the airport back to Ottawa. 

You don't fight it when Matthew tells you to head downstairs and he and Taryn could take care of the cleaning up. You curl up on the couch in the basement, stealing Matt’s Flames hoodie off the back of a chair and a blanket from the closet. Your eyes flutter shut to the muted noises of the dishes clinking together. 

You let your eyes flutter closed, only opening them again when you feel a warm heat slide in beside you. You hum when Matt kisses your temple softly. 

“You okay?” he nudges you gently, stealing the end of your blanket to cover his legs. 

“Yeah, just tired,” you mumble back, voice muffled by the pillow your face is half-buried in. You know Matthew knows better than to believe your blatant lie, but you're okay with the way he chooses to move past it and not make you talk about it. 

The two of you lounge on the couch silently, Matt switching on some Netflix show he’d been watching after you heard Taryn say she was going to bed. You tried not to think about how long Brady was taking upstairs with Autumn. 

They'd gotten back together over the summer, she’d reached out to him before he left for the off season, which he failed to mention until it was nearly over. Against both yours, Matthew’s, and Taryn’s advice, Brady had bought a plane ticket back to Ottawa, saying that he might as well give it a shot. 

Matthew had held you when you cried that night, Taryn bringing the two of you water and food when it was clear you weren't leaving his room, much less his arms. 

He wanted to hold you right now too, god how he wanted to hold you. But he couldn't, not with Brady due back any second from waiting out front for Autumn's ride. He couldn't risk Brady seeing the two of you, not again. 

Brady had made comments here and there about Matt’s relationship with you. No matter how much Matt insisted that the two of you weren't involved, Brady wasn't convinced, insisting that he was okay with it. 

But right now, in this moment, he wanted to believe him. Matt’s hands ached to touch you, hold you, draw patterns on your skin, he yearned for it. He wanted - he needed to make sure that you knew that everything was going to be okay. Just as his resolve starts to crumble, his hands twitching in his lap as he begins to reach for you, a voice comes from the stairs. 

“We should talk - right?” Brady is talking to you, making you open your eyes to look at him. “Like - things are weird, have been weird, and we have to talk about it right?” 

You nodded silently, shifting in your spot so that you're sitting up, any physical contact you had with Matt now lost. “Yeah,” your voice comes out small, a whisper, and then stronger, firmer. “Yeah, we need to talk.” 

This is it.

The silence in the room is almost unbearable, and you're unable to choke the words out. Brady stares at you, while you stare down at your hands. Matt refuses to look at either of you, gaze trained on the wall behind the TV, jaw clenched so tightly that if your eyes were on him you'd tell him he was about to break his teeth. 

“Is this about you and Matt?” The words come out of nowhere, and it feels like you've been slapped. 

“What?” Matt’s head snaps towards Brady, as does yours.

“No, really,” Brady says, “Did you guys break up oh something?

“What are you talking about Brady?” You can't stop the frustration from seeping into your voice. “That's not what this is -” 

“‘Cause you know I’m okay with you guys together,” Brady continues obliviously, “I keep telling both of you that it's fine but I don't get why you insist on-” 

“Oh my god you idiot!” Matt’s outburst shuts Brady up pretty quickly, leaving the younger brother staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Matt looks at you and his eyes are sad, regret and apologies already written all over his face for what he's about to say next. “She's in love with you.” 

He speaks so quietly you almost don't hear the second part of his statement. 

“And I’m in love with her.”

Time screeches to a halt. You're convinced it's a dream, nearly pinching yourself to prove that it is. Brady is staring at Matt now, and you're staring at the ground. 

“You're lying.” You don't believe the words you're saying either, and neither do Matt and Brady. 

“I love you.” He's telling the truth, you can hear it in his voice. 

“Stop.”

“I love you and you love him.” 

“Stop it!” 

“I love you, and, fuck - Y/N, it’s simultaneously the best and worst thing that’s ever fucking happened to me.”

“Please! Matty, please! Just stop!”

“Is he telling the truth?” This time it’s Brady. His voice quivers with every word. Like he doesn’t want it to be true. “You're in love with me?” 

You wrap your arms around your torso, squeezing your eyes shut and hoping - praying - that when you opened your eyes, this would all be over and you'd wake up in your bed. But when you opened your eyes again, you were still on the couch in the Tkachuk’s basement, blanket tangled between you and Matt. 

“You should have let me tell him,” you say to Matt, ignoring Brady’s question, still lingering in the air. “I wanted to be the one to tell him, you knew that.” 

“Well, he hasn't been letting you, now has he?” Matt snaps back at you, the regret showing up on his face almost instantaneously. “Baby…” 

The name slips out on accident, he doesn't mean to say, and he sure as hell doesn't mean for Brady to hear it. 

“Okay, what the hell is going on here?” Brady finally yells, fed up with being kept in the dark. “What the fuck are you guys talking about?” 

“I don't-” you start to say, trying to say it before Matt does. 

“She loves you, okay?” Matt grabs your hand for a moment when he starts to speak, giving it a squeeze before taking his own hand back again. “She loves you in more than a friend way, and we’ve spent nearly the last year trying to get her to tell you but every time - every time Brady! - some stupid shit happens, like you trying to hook her up with someone, or - oh, I don't know - randomly springing your girlfriend on us!” 

“That was one time!” Brady argues, “Besides you were the only one who knew Autumn was coming, why are you even mad?” You flinch at the mention of her name, but freeze at what comes after. 

“What?” 

Matt looks like he's been caught red handed - and he has, really. He just didn't mean for you to find out this way. He didn't mean for you to find out any of this the way that you just did. 

“I can explain -”  

“Please don't,” you stand up just as Matt is reaching for you. “I don't want an explanation. I don't - I just want to - I’m going home.” 

While Brady doesn’t even look at you, Matt nearly lunges for you when you walk away from the couch. Walk away from him. He hates the way the thought stings. He barely manages to brush his fingertips against the red fabric of his hoodie before you're halfway up the stairs and the door to the basement slams shut. 

[lgcjiho]

— sunflower house

for @lgcmatt​  +  ·

     it’s been somewhat difficult to act as normal since the conversation he had had with his boy-ex-boyfriend. and it’s worse because they’re being filmed 24/7 aside from inside bathrooms, so he had ended up hiding in the bathroom for almost an hour to have that talk and he had had to continue just. acting normal in front of the other team a members. it’s been a few days since it had happened, and he’s thought it through and realized that he wasn’t personally in the wrong but he was still allowed to be sad. because who wasn’t sad over a breakup? even if it was mutual and on good terms and they had decided to continue being friends. it was hard still. a year and a half. just gone. 

     and not knowing who he could really talk about it with was difficult too, because he wanted to talk to haru about it or other friends. but haru was busy filming in team b, and he didn’t want to disrupt his spare time like that. or even distract him from the show at all.

     on a night that they didn’t have anything to do, waiting for the next set of instructions, jiho had climbed into bed early and texted matty to ask if he could call. considering they had been friends for a long time—since before legacy and even before jiho had ever started taking being an idol as a serious career path for himself—he thought he could trust the younger to distract him for a bit at least. he had texted him, explaining that he was sad and also telling him the reason why since he figured that matty deserved to know, as one of the people who had supported their relationship, before also adding that he probably couldn’t talk much since the room was being filmed and he was pretending to be sleeping and catching up on some rest.

     so with his face only lit up by his phone screen’s light and his stuffed cat tucked carefully under his chin, he waits for matty to pick up his call since the younger had very enthusiastically agreed to chat with him. or. at him, more likely. he knew that matty would be able to keep the conversation going even without much, if any, input from his end, considering how easily matty held conversation on his own was was one of the reasons why jiho enjoyed being in his presence so much. he watches the screen patiently, his blurry features the only thing displaying before he’s greeted by his best friend’s face.

     “hi,” jiho greets quietly, keeping his voice low, fully covered by the blankets and he’s glad he has a bottom bunk that’s somewhat not fully seen by the cameras. he waves a hand at the screen, a small smile appearing on his lips. switching apps really quickly to their chat on kakaotalk, he types out a quick ‘i feel like i havent seen you in forever 🥺’ text to matty, and then also a ‘sorry for calling you so late’ before switching back to the facetime app to hopefully catch the younger’s reactions to those messages.