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#*them and I just don't want a problem and even using our home wifi I don't know if I should be on here at all anymore
mochimeiko-15 · 1 month
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Teachers at my placement were utter bitches!
I would like to share one of my stories about one of the teachers at my institution placement. She was a bitch. I just called her Miss L in the story. Basically I brought my laptop with me on one of the day to do my work. Just before I was about to use it, I remembered that they've refused to give me their Wifi before when I asked them. The reasons were so stupid that I can't fucking remember. Anyway, I asked the teacher if I could use it, I only asked her twice and she got annoyed. She was like," You know, you really should bring your own laptop to do your work, instead of using our work one." I was like, "Actually I did, that's why I brought the other bag in today to carry it, but I can't do my work without WiFi." She was like, "Why do you need WiFi to do your work, don't you have a software to be able to access it?" I was like, "I don't, I need to link it to my School's email to do my work there." ,then she was like, "You should really do it at home instead then, also can't you just get the software on your laptop." I was like, " I can't...(if I could, I wouldn't ask you in the first place.) "then she was like, "you should get a better laptop then." Well, guess what?! My laptop works just fine, and still new and it's still fucking workable, so there's no need for me to buy another one. Laptops are expensive, it took me the long ass time to get my current one. Fuck you, bitch!
Seriously, screw her! What's her fucking problem?! She said those fucking words in such a polite way which pisses me off even more!
Seriously, if they just gave me that damn WiFi password to me from the beginning, I wouldn't need to ask in the first place! Any "normal" people will change the password right afterwards, after I finish my block practices. Who's being a pain in the ass, who's being the lazy brat?! They are!
Of course, I could continue with my work at home. Since I'm at the placement almost all the goddamn time, while the children were having their naps. I must as well do a bit of my work whilst I'm there. Don't want to let time be wasted, right? No, they want me to suffer instead.
Lesson learn: if you have the money. Don't be a cheapskate. Just get the goddamn software such as Words, PowerPoint etc. That way you don't need to rely on people like her. Unless you are someone with no money to afford a laptop, then understandable. Do other stuff instead. Secondly, if you really got never to do, make something to do. They will end up asking you to help them do their stuff. Thirdly, you got other stuff to do. Make sure you do it before you get asked.
I feel like they assume that you got no stuff to do, I really don't know why they assumed that. Even though, they were once like that as a student? I can't really don't get it?
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babblingfishes · 1 year
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So your internet is supposed to be fast but instead it is terrible, and you want to file a complaint about it.
SOME NOTES BEFORE WE BEGIN:
This is a guide to filing a free informal complaint to the United States FCC. I am not a lawyer. I am a nerd. This is NOT a guide to filing a formal complaint.
This guide is not for your average internet problems. There are a lot of reasons internet can be slow: a bad router or modem, wifi interference from neighbors with overpowered routers (try an ethernet cable!), your microwave getting in the way of the wifi signal (ethernet cable!), your Amazon Alexa eating up bandwidth sending everything you say to Amazon, your roommate binging Netflix on their terrifying 4K smart TV... Make sure the problem is coming from outside the home. Specifically coming from your internet service provider.
Contact your provider directly first. They do typically want their service to work. If they keep blowing you off, that's when you get out the paperwork.
Make sure you know the download and upload speeds you are paying for. (Yes, even if it officially only says "up to". If it is "up to 500 mbps" and you are getting 1 mbps that is a major issue.) These will typically be listed when you log onto your account on the ISP's website. You could probably also call and ask customer service, or even visit their office in person if you are scary and I'm afraid of you.
We'll begin our journey at the FCC Broadband Map
This is a government website that lists, for every address in the US, which internet providers are available, what kind of connection they use, and the maximum download and upload speeds they offer.
This is an excellent resource that I highly recommend checking when house/apartment-hunting, especially if you expect internet service to be part of your bills. It's not always 100% accurate, but it is an official record, so if you're getting less than you're paying for you have grounds to challenge it.
If your ISP's stats here are total ass (for example, if they use antique copper wiring that can handle a max 0.2 mbps upload speed) you'll probably be better off switching providers. Even the cheapest fiber or cable plans are going to be faster, better maintained, and more reliable than satellite or copper.
(Sorry, I got really distracted here because I was wondering who the fuck "Space Exploration Technologies Corp." is, offering high-speed satellite to the middle of nowhere. It's Musk. It's Musk and his telescope-ruining yacht-internet. Anyway.)
If your ISP looks good here, and your connection is still hot garbage, it's time to bother them about it.
Gathering data for the complaint
I approach this as a combination bug report and legal case. You'll want to be as detailed as possible. If your ISP doesn't think there's a problem, then they also probably don't know what the problem is, so the more evidence you can supply the easier it'll be to fix. Also, unhappy customer with lots of evidence is VERY scary.
If you get no internet at all, then there's not much data to gather. Just do your best to estimate what time(s) the internet went out and for how long. You might take screenshots of your lack of internet beside your computer clock, or your router's connection status page.
If your internet is only bad during part of the day, take note of when that is. Try to test it when it's working AND when it's not. Take screenshots of the results with your computer time/date visible. Remember that you'll get the most accurate reading when your computer is the only one using the network.
Your biggest tool will be speed tests. If you're here you have probably used this a lot by now. The classic speed test that most people use is Ookla's Speedtest.net. Some ISPs even use it themselves. I've heard claims that providers pump up your speeds to this site to pass these tests, but typically if your connection is that bad, it'll show anyway. (Mine sure did.)
If you don't like Ookla's speed test, Fast.com is another popular speed test by Netflix (make sure you press "show more info" to get the upload speed). There's others out there too, but imo the more mainstream the better if you're trying to back up a legal complaint.
Another, less common thing you can check for is packet loss -- this is when the information your computer sends or receives gets lost in transit (which is bad). This can result in a connection that is both weird and slow, sites loading halfway and proceeding to shit themselves, voice calls connecting but being unusable, etc. Here's a handy HowToGeek article on how to test for it. (Although instead of a random website url I highly recommend using a DNS server like 8.8.8.8 -- this is Google's DNS server which should be extremely fast to respond.) Typically packet loss should be less than 5%. More than than 10% is Bad.
You may also want to keep note of interactions you've had with your ISP if relevant (for example, if their happy-helpful-official-web-chat-support guy told you this was all because of an outage they expected to have fixed by June 1st, and every time you ask them about it, they just keep pushing it back). If your ISP is mega-evil and you think you might end up Actually Suing Them or something, make sure you have copies of bills, documentation of the speeds you are paying for, etc.
Locate that informal complaint page baybeeeee
The FCC's site for formal and informal complaints is here. I recommend reading some of their FAQ's and stuff.
You will want an informal internet complaint, which is free to file. That form is currently here.
Now write the complaint
Again, there's a good chance your ISP doesn't actually Think There's A Problem, let alone Know What The Problem Is, so you'll want to be detailed and to the point.
Pinpoint when the problem started to the best of your ability ("sometime between November 12-13" is fine if that's all you recall). If your connection is only bad sometimes, you'll want to specify when. Explain what rates you are paying for and what happened when you called the company. Be reasonably polite. We are presenting only facts here.
I also like to emphasize the problems this is causing, especially if they can be phrased as common things that a Scary Businessman would expect from the internet, and *especially* if they are things that could be interpreted as losing money. "This is unacceptable because I am completely unable to attend voice calls and video meetings" is a great one. "This prevents me from accessing the tools and videos on my employer's website" is also fun. This reminds your ISP of capitalism and lawsuits, which will give them scary nightmares.
Don't forget to add your screenshots of tests and any other useful attachments.
I suggest keeping a copy of the complaint and everything you attached to it for your own reference as well.
Note: that you will be contacted by your ISP about this! They are required to contact you within 30 days. They will send you a written response and might call as well for more info. Don't freak out.
Ideally this will at least get you in touch with someone in charge of Why Your Internet Isn't Working instead of a random call center employee. Plus the FCC is there to be menacing, now. Good luck!
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branderp94 · 1 year
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On the Frustrating way the Government is Handling TikTok
I have been frustrated with the way our government is handling TikTok.
This post is super long and I would appreciate a read but I wanted to offer a TL;DR:
Our leaders do not understand tech, which would be fine, except, they regulate it. They are wasting time and resources pointlessly. The ban feels xenophobic because it does not address identical problems in home-grown platforms or identify any TikTok-specific problems. There are real threats feasible and we should do more to protect against them but we should be applying those things uniformly. None of those threats are unique to TikTok but TikTok does have unique implementation vectors that make it particularly vulnerable to those attacks from the inside. China does not allow our internet companies in their country. It would be fair for us to go tit for tat in hopes they will relent and the world can come together but that hasn't been proposed by anyone in the government. This is a scary path for us to go down for no concrete reason. It also chips away at our rights and that's pretty shitty.
The TikTok hearing is full of fundamental misunderstandings of how technology fundamentally works. The best example is when Congressman Richard Hudson asked the CEO of TikTok 'does TikTok access the home WiFi network?'
There is a lot wrong with this. It's a broad question that fundamentally does not understand what a network is. It's being directed toward a CEO whose job it is to run the company, not architect the app form a technical perspective. While the CEO would likely have a better understanding on how networks work than the Congressman, expecting him to know exactly how the app uses network resources is a pretty technical ask. It doesn't even matter though. Assume the CEO knew exactly how the app worked. The question itself is fundamentally confusing to anyone who knows how networks work. It's an unanswerable question designed out of either incompetence or malice. Neither of which are productive.
That lack of productivity in the hearing is fundamental to the hearing. It's impossible to separate malice from incompetence in this case. I really think it's malice because I really have a hard time believing people this smart and well-resourced are actually this dumb. It's entirely possible I am giving them too much credit. Focusing on whether they're malicious or just bad at what they're doing kind of misses the point though. The point is that they wasted so much time and effort on being specifically unproductive. There are bigger fish to fry. You can say that about literally anything and it's usually true. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't tend to more than one issue. This just feels particularly wasteful.
The desire to ban feels almost entirely xenophobic to me. The anti-Chinese rhetoric during 2020 is all but forgotten by the news at this point but this feels so directly fueled by it to me. I really can't think of another reason our government would be so focused on TikTok's flaws while pretty plainly not caring that American social media platforms have the literal same flaws. This was plainly pointed out by TikTok's CEO directly to Congress in the hearing more than once and they plainly didn't care. I don't like 'what about the other guy' as an argument. But in this case, the argument seems to be genuine in that the problems are identical so far as I can tell, the difference is that this company is a subsidiary of a Chinese company and those companies are corn-fed. I do think that difference actually means something and could have real consequences. What's disturbing is that Congress seems to out-right not care about why that difference is distinct. They didn't explore that once in any meaningful way in the 7-hour hearing as far as I know.
I do want to actually go over that difference. The difference from one perspective is splitting hairs. From another it has real potential to be very harmful. From the splitting hairs perspective, TikTok operates as all other social media companies do so far as anyone can tell. They're just better at it. There is suspicion that the fact that they're better at it is the only reason any of this is happening. That if they're better at it, home-grown competitors are less competitive. It is suspected that American social media companies are threatened by how good TikTok is and that, that is why they actively lobbied congress to ban TikTok. Personally I buy that they're threatened but not that, that's why Congress is holding hearings and threatening to ban. I think they hate Meta almost as much and would hate them more if they were Chinese.
That other reason? The real potential? This COULD be a real tool for foreign actors to algorithmically shift American discourse in real ways. The Cambridge Analytica scandal mostly shows us this. The ways our discourse could be impacted by TikTok are even more concerning. Cambridge's tactics used advertisements to target people predisposed to believing false narratives in order to sow chaos and heat political rhetoric. This allowed investigators to follow the money and get to the bottom of the issue. It allowed Facebook to identify the problem and stop accepting political advertisement. It was (eventually) clear that these were advertisements and who paid for them. In an algorithmically-fueled influence campaign who is doing what and why can be made invisible and indistinguishable from content you already enjoy and unknowingly spread by the very people you follow. It is very genuinely very dangerous.
However, while I would argue Cambridge successfully turned up the heat in the election, data suggests it didn't actually win Trump the election in 2016. I know this is counter to popular rhetoric but it isn't backed by available data. I do think the ability to divide us more is dangerous even if it doesn't win elections though. We need unity now more than we have for a long time.
Notice how TikTok isn't the problem here though? Notice how there is no EVIDENCE of TikTok doing anything malicious whatsoever whereas there is evidence of foreign malicious actors on Facebook? There is evidence of the same kind of activity on Twitter too, Twitter is just less relevant. This isn't a diss on Twitter's current ownership or former. It's just objectively less relevant and less effective at spreading propaganda. Not that, that's a bad thing.
If these asshats (asshats being the people running our country) were actually interested in the threats social media pose to the social fabric of our country I would suggest that intelligence communities work with social media companies to do social influence testing in test environments to identify these vulnerabilities and that they work to harden the platforms against them through detection and moderation. But, they aren't actually interested in solving the problem, are they? They'd rather punch China. Whether it's because they're racist, nationalist, or idiots; I don't care. They need to stop their idiotic and bigoted behavior in favor of actual solutions.
I mentioned earlier that I don't like TikTok. That is because I really think we need to limit our exposure to short form content. I really think it fucks with out attention span in bad ways. I know that's something said about new media every time new media comes out. It was said about radio, movies, tv, comics, video games, the internet, and now social media. The reason I think this is different is because I feel like you can plainly observe people's attention span dwindling. If you feel your attention span dwindling, I really recommend Bored and Brilliant. It's a book and an old podcast. You can no longer subscribe to the podcast. It ended a long time ago. You can still listen to it here.
This doesn't mean it should be banned. Every social media platform has this problem and it's something we need to address as a society. China does not allow our internet companies in their country. It would be fair for us to go tit for tat in hopes they will relent and the world can come together but that hasn't been proposed by anyone. As I mentioned prior, more unity makes the world a better place in almost every way.
It's concerning that so much of the government wants to ban it with no clear reason. This leads to conspiratorial thinking because 'they can't be that dumb'. It's possible they just are. It's also possible they are just trying to grab at power and using banning a foreign asset as an excuse. The proposed bill that would ban TikTok chips away at our rights in alarming ways.
Amendment:
It's also very frustrating that I have only given a few hours of thought on this and it feels more insightful than anything any official has said. They are some of the most powerful people on earth regulating a nearly $70bn. They should be a hell of a lot more thoughtful.
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luck370 · 2 years
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iPhone Tutorial - 5 Tips When Traveling Abroad With Your iPhone
I have recently started traveling around the world and have relied immensely on my iPhone to make the journey more enjoyable, prevent loss of information, and even point me in the right (or if I wish random but interesting) direction.
I will briefly teach you my favorite 5 top tips for traveling abroad with your iPhone
It is remarkable how much the world, as well as our daily lives have changed since the advent of mobile phones and in particular smart phones, such as the iPhone 3g by Apple. Some of us can remember the days when we use to make appointments once a day and kept them because there was no way to communicate the change of plan unless you were at home. Nowadays we need to be able to use the tools to our disposal to make better informed decisions… Even when on holiday or traveling.
The fact that there are websites that cater solemnly for providing high quality iPhone tutorial videos and cheat sheets is testament to this new wave of technology.
The cost of traveling with the internet in your pocket
With the recent advances, especially with the large amount of high quality Internet-connected applications that are available for the iPhone, trying to accomplish your daily tasks without the Internet on your phone becomes a problem.
This is a dilemma myself and other high frequency or power users of the iPhone have faced when having to travel abroad with your iPhone, which brings a few interesting challenges with it when you find out the roaming rate for data is between £3 and £6 between Europe and the rest of the world.
Luckily I have traveled internationally with my iPhone many times and found some novel solutions and will now supply a few tips to make traveling abroad with your iPhone a painless and more enjoyable experience Android tutorial.
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Tip 1: Disable voicemail before leaving
Most carriers for the iPhone will charge you to receive voice-mails while you are abroad. With the Visual voicemail feature of the iPhone this means you will be charged international rates every time someone leaves a voicemail, whether you listen to it or not. It is easy to avoid these charged by disabling your voicemail while travelling abroad. For UK customers, to switch voicemail divert off dial 1760. On your return to switch it back on dial 1750.
Another way of disabling voice-mail before traveling is to type #004# and call. Enabling voice-mail on your return can be done by typing *004# and pressing call. Not all Networks across the globe allow this functionality, so if this tip doesn't work for you just call your operator support to disable the visual voicemail
Tip 2: Disable data roaming.
Unfortunately data roaming with the iPhone Internet enabled applications can work out costly if you weren't expecting it. It is surprising how much data an application such as email or normal web browsing can consume, which will leave you with a big shock when you find the bill at the end of the month.
To do this from the home screen click settings- general settings- network- data roaming - off
There are ways to still use your applications such as GPS navigation even with this feature turned off as explained later in this tutorial.
Before you go traveling I suggest you clear the data counter so that if you do switch on the data roaming occasionally for checking a important email or website, you will know exactly what the charge will be. To clear the data usage counters, from the home screen press the settings button, then press "usage" and lastly press "reset statistics" button.
Tip 3: enable flight mode when not expecting calls.
If you are on holiday, I'm sure you don't want to be interrupted while listening to your favourite mp3's while tanning on the white beaches of Sardinia or another gorgeous part of Europe.
oThis will stop you from receiving calls while activated, but more importantly prevent your battery from running flat for when you really DO need to make an important call.
o if you are near a WIFI access point you can still activate the wireless While the phone is still in airplane mode giving you the best solution:Internet access without data roaming charges and linger battery life.
Tip 4: Download the GoogleMaps so they are ready for GPS without incurring data rates
o Download the Google maps prior to leaving your home country. All you need to do is to open the Google maps app, search for your destination( preferably your hotel accommodation or street address ) and zoom in and around.
o The Google maps app will keep these maps in its temporary cache and will not require Internet access to display them again once you arrive in your destination.
o Prior to leaving I suggest to drop a pin on your points of interest, which you can then use as place marks to find your way around.
o If you have access to a Internet cafe or WIFI access point at your accommodation you can also visit your itinerary stops over the WIFI connection and have those maps cached when you are out and about.
Tip 5: Download offline translation applications.
o most of us will be familiar with the free applications such as iTranslate which uses Google translate over your Internet connection to translate between languages. When abroad this data transfer can be costly. I have found that paying a few dollars or pounds for the offline version of the software which includes phrases and vocabulary is much better and performs significantly faster.
Please note that these are only a small extract of tips for traveling with your iPhone from iPhoneTutorialVideos.com
There are many more techniques available that will help you use your iPhone when abroad and you would be surprised with the results that this little computer in your pocket can achieve once you get to know its secrets.
As a teaser I will leave you with the following questions to think about:
How can carrying toothpicks in your travel bag help you and your iPhone out of a uncomfortable situation? Is it possibly to put a local simcard in your iPhone when abroad WITHOUT jail-breaking your iPhone? Have you ever wanted to listen to your mp3's on your iPhone while snorkeling in the Great Barrier reef?
With these few tips I hope your experience of using your iPhone while traveling abroad or maybe even the world will be more enjoyable.
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Cords and Zip Ties part 1
I made this, I'm not sure exactly if it makes sense as a story, but here, have it anyways. Should I do a part 2?
Word count: 1,116
rating: SFW
Warnings: BDSM is implied, and mentions doms, and sex dungeons.
Summary: Shit cord management leads you and King to bond over shared fetishes while filling Kaidou and the other lead performers with dread.
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It's been six months since a portal opened on the floor of your bedroom, making you and the contents of your room fall into the best pirate's lair. You quickly figured out you had been isekai'ed into the One Piece world, Kaidou thankfully offered you a choice. Join his crew or die.
A lot of things from your home ended up in this world as well, one thing you were grateful for is your computer set up had made it too, and it still had wifi. You knew you'd need to hide it, or Queen would want to dissect it.  So you were rather paranoid about keeping it hidden while still using it. But things never go as you plan, you forgot it was supposed to be a secret, and accidentally volunteered to do the spreadsheets for King's annual financial report in front of King, Jack, Kaidou, and Queen. 
"Are you sure, that's a big task that usually takes all four of us to do every year?" King cautioned.
"Yeah, it'll be no problem for me, as long the data on the monthly reports is correct it'll be a breeze with my spreadsheet software."
"spreadsheet software?" Queen echoed, "wait, that means there's hardware behind."
When the realization of what you had just done hit you, you froze.
"Didn't you say your culture was more 'technologically advanced' than ours?" Kaidou mumbled.
King crossed his arms and glared down at you as he growled, "You've been hiding something from us, haven't you?"
You pressed your index fingers together and looked at the floor as you admitted that you have been hiding your computer out of fear that they'll take it.
Queen looked at you with wide eyes, and said, "No way, I don't know enough about your culture's circuitry. Taking it apart immediately would be a waste especially if it can be used to make our lives easier. I wouldn't even know if it would be compatible with our snail tech."
"It doesn't use snail tech of any form, everything about it is inorganic and manmade."  You admitted.
The four men looked intrigued, and Queen asked, "can I see?"
You looked over at King, who usually had your best interest in mind since you were friends. He merely shrugged apathetically and nodded his head, silently promising you that he'd beat up Queen if he did anything that even so much as upset you. Kaidou prodded you with a meaty finger and grumbled that he wanted to see it too. You gave a questioning look to Jack, who nodded his head solemnly. You sighed, "fine, but I'm warning you, you're going to hate my cord management system."
"It can't be that bad," He retorted, "I'm not picky about that sort of thing anyway."
"Hold your judgment until you see it," you assured him, "it's awful, I have to unplug everything to untangle it once a month."

You led them into your room and flipped on the light, illuminating the tangled mess of chords and rainbow lights. You and King watched Queen's upper lip curl back in disgust. "no, no, the fuck is wrong with you? I'm unplugging everything and helping you get a cord storage system." He shrieked, biting down hard on his cigar as he marched into your room and got on his knees in front of your desktop. Kaidou huffed, " I wasn't expecting it to have so many colors."
You stood nearby making sure he doesn't misplace or break anything, absent-mindedly biting at hangnails that were bothering you. you looked over at King to see him leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, silently judging both of you.
Queen tugged on your shirt and held up your wireless devices making you explain what they were, did, and how they worked.
"NoNoNo NO, let me get this right," Queen's voice progressively grew more shrill with his irritation, "at least half of your equipment is wirelessly connected to your computer."
When you confirmed his statement he screeched, "Then how is it this bad! Why are there so many cords!" When you just shrugged apologetically, he sighed, "go find me something to hold these together in place." And went back to neatly placing each appliance aside with its cord wrapped around it.

You cleared your throat, rather embarrassed it was worst than you remembered it being. You looked up at Kaidou, who was sitting with Jack on the other side of the computer from Queen, and both of them were watching him work between taking swigs off Kaidou's gourd.  "Sir, you wouldn't happen to know where the zip ties are kept, would you?"
"You think I know where shit is in this place? I just live here, if I want something I order people, who know where stuff is, to go get it for me."
You looked to King and pleaded, "please tell me you have some zip ties."
King stared at you rather thoughtfully for a few short moments before sighing, "Yes, come with me, they're in my room." King pushed himself off the door frame as you approached, showing his back to you.
Knowing full well what he used those zip ties for, you hummed, "my old dom had a whole other room for that stuff... Well, it was actually his whole basement.
King took a step and stopped. He looked over his shoulder down at you, his pink eyes were wide in surprise. King echoed, "A whole other room?"
Kaido slapped his hand on his forehead and groaned, "oh please, for the love of the gods, don't give him any ideas."
Queen huffed, "Yeah, he already wears a gimp mask in public, that's bad enough."
Ignoring both of them, King sidles on up to your side, wrapping both his wing and his arm around your back. He urged you halfway down the hall before muttering, "So tell about this room, yeah?"
You giggle, "oh you're gonna love this," and you go into detail about the dungeon.
Meanwhile, in your room, Kaidou, Jack, and Queen could hear you until you got down to the end of the hall. Kaidous's expression soured as he growled, "god damn it, King's going to monopolize the craftsmen for the next two months to build himself a sex dungeon, isn't he?"
Jack quietly nodded his head, not wanting to think about the ideas you're putting in King's head. Queen tossed down a charging cord, and said, "but who would have guessed (y/n) would be into the same stuff as that pervert?"
Kaidou snorted loudly and huffed, "that was a surprise, they're so.... normal, I guess that's what they mean when they say, don't judge a book by its cover."
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Should I do a part two?
Support me on Kofi and Patreon
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The Class Group Chat
17 23, Tuesday
"Caline Bustier" created this group.
Caline Bustier: Good afternoon class. After some fatal incidents with akumas, the school has decided that a group chat is needed for each class, so evacuation is easier and we can be alerted quicker of a student is trapped, ensuring the safety of all students and making Ladybug and Cat Noir's job less stressful.
"Doggo" has joined.
Doggo: Oi mates!
"Sk8r Girl" has joined.
Sk8r Girl: lol
Caline Bustier: Kim and Alix, please use your real names.
Doggo: Awwww
"Sk8r Girl" has changed their name to "Alix".
"Doggo" has changed their name to "Kim".
"Alya", "Rose", "Max" and "Nathaniel" have joined.
Alya: hey y'all!
Rose: hiiii 😊
Max: Good evening everyone.
Nathaniel: Hello
Caline Bustier: Good evening Max, Rose, Alya and Nathaniel.
Rose: is Juleka here
Max: Negative
Rose: really?😦 she said she was in
Alya: maybe its her wifi
"Juleka" has joined.
Rose: juleka!
Juleka: Hi.
"DJBoi" has joined.
DJBoi: Oops
"DJBoi" has changed their name to "Nino".
Nino: hi everyone!
Rose: hi! 😁
Max: Good evening.
Juleka: Hi.
Alya: hey babe ;)
Nino: Hey babe 😚
Caline Bustier: Nino and Alya, please keep all affectionate texts in private messages.
Alya: sorry ms bustier
Nino: oops
"Sabrina", "Queen Bee", "Mylene" and "Ivan" have joined.
Sabrina: Hi!
Alya: hey Sabrina
Nino: 'sup
Mylene: Hello
Queen Bee: Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!
Alya: ???
Alix: the heck Chloe? 😑
Caline Bustier: Alix, please do not use vulgar language in this chat.
Alix: Sorry mademoiselle
Nino: where's Ivan?
Mylene: he's offline. probably napping
Alya: where's ma girl Marinette
Nathaniel: she never joined
Caline Bustier: May someone please remind Adrien, Marinette and Lila to join the group chat?
Alya: ill get marinette
Alya: marinette isn't home and she isn't answering her phone.
Nino: I'll try and reach Adrien
Nino: DUUUUUUUUDE!!!
Caline Bustier: Nino, please do not display such behaviour.
Alix: this isn's private chat you dummy
Caline Bustier: Alix, I said not to use vulgar language.
Alix: 😶 sorry miss
"Adrien" and "Marinette" have joined.
Adrien: Hi, sorry for coming late.
Caline Bustier: It's alright, Adrien.
Alya: Gurlll, where r u?
Rose: where's marinette?
Adrien: she's here
Alya: we know that but where is she?
Adrien: and I said here.
Nino: where's here???
Adrien: in the locker room
Alix: wth are you two still doing at school? its 5 o'clock?
Caline Bustier: Alix.
Alix: sorryyyyyyyyy
Alya: ooooh, you two doin dirty stuff? ;)
Adrien: what's that?
Rose: don't poison the child Alya 😡
Alya: oops, sorry
Caline Bustier: Adrien, what are you doing in school his late and why is Marinette not responding?
Adrien: Marinette's trying to connect to my hotspot
Marinette: hi, what'd i miss?
Alya: why are you in school so late?
Marinette: what?
Alix: don't try to lie. Adrien told us
Marinette: *privately to Adrien* you told them where we were???
Adrien: *privately to Marinette* yes, why not? we jumped in here after the akuma attack
Marinette: *privately to Adrien* you're jeorpadizing our identities!
Adrien: *privately to Marinette* plz ur overreacting. im sure there are other things people would think we were doing
Marinette: *privately to Adrien* like what???
Adrien: *privately to Marinette* like eating pasta or doing silly dances or just chillin in a locker room
Marinette: *privately to Adrien* think of a good excuse or no kisses for a month
Adrien: *privately to Marinette* :( umm, we wanted to study and feel the aura and illusion we were in school for upmost concentration?
Marinette: ...youre a moron
Alya: excuse me???
Marinette: shoot, that wasnt for you
Caline Bustier: Marinette, please do not use such vulgar language in this chat.
Marinette: sorry miss bustier
Nathaniel: wait, so u two are in the same room but talking thru private chat???
Marinette: ...
Rose: okay, now what were you two doing? 🤨
Nino: yh dudes, what?
Caline Bustier: Yes, I would also like to know. School is closed and both of you should not still be in the locker room.
Marinette: uh, we...
Marinette: *privately to Adrien* THINK OF AN EXCUSE QUICK!
Adrien: how about... we were making out in a locker?
Marinette: PRIVATE CHAT YOU DUMMY!
Adrien: shoot
Alya: 😱😱😱
Nino: WHAT?!
Rose: 😨
Nathaniel: wait, what-
Queen Bee: WHAT??!!!
Mylene: 😯
Kim: 😱😂
Marinette: NOOOOO THATS NOT WHAT WE WERE DOING!!!!
Alix: LOLLL U EXPOSED MAR 🤣🤣🤣
Marinette: I FREAKING HATE U RIGHT NOW AGRESTE 😡😡
Adrien: :'(
Caline Bustier: Marinette, Adrien, please watch your language in this chat.
Queen Bee: RIDICULOUS, UTTERLY RIDICULOUS!
Alya: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING!!!
Alya: BESTIE YOU BETRAYETH ME!!! 😡😡😡
Alix: ROTFL
Nino: DUDE TMI
Caline Bustier: Please stop misusing this chat.
Alya: gurl where r u?!
Nino: dude, i think shes dead
Alix: she def killed Adrien lolll
Mylene: i cant believe they were dating!
Kim: Marinette is definitely not showing up to school tomorrow
Max: I apologize everyone. My internet logged me out of our chat due to some problems. What's all this about Adrien and Marinette dying?
Kim: read the chat
Max: Oh wow. I did not predict this.
"Lila" has joined.
Lila: Hey guys, what'd I miss?
...
im now posting on mondays and saturdays, just in case anyone would like to know
94 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Note
I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)
before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"
I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.
Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.
IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF
TAVVY
TAVVY
TAVVY
DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV
I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT
“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”
“But it’s 15 in Idris!”
“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.
DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD
Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.
The warlock – not the shadowhunter.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.
Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.
The shadowhunter – not the warlock.
I AM SCREAMING
I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about
“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”
Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?
ARCHITECT TAVVY
SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS
SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES
“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”
“Cause they are chill?”
“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.
Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)
ANJALI IS A CENTURION
LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS
I still ship them.
“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”
Well, that was a quick change-
Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.
THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS
great now I miss Raphael
I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY
that is so thoughtful of him though...
tears.
“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.
“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.
“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”
Of course, it is. No one is surprised.
Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”
“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.
white people and their bland foods smh
“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”
As she should be
UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE
He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.
"Beautiful"
I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO
I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP
FUCKING RUMORS
I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE
“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”
There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.
But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.
YET
Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.
OH MY GOD THESE TWO
But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.
I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D
“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.
I-
same.
NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-
RAFAEL LMAO NO
"I hate her she's so annoying"
continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone
Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?
And he calls Max oblivious.
oh class started
shit
IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING
LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY
JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD
“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”
“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.
LMAO POOR DAVID
“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”
He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.
yup, that's them.
“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”
“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”
He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.
Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.
Idiots
ok, there is so much to unpack here.
DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??
These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI
“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”
“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.
“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.
of course, he is.
G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD
oh shit
oh shit
WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME
what's the rumor and who do I need to kill
He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.
what is her problem?
what the fuck
I need a minute
I need a minute to digest that
I'm so glad I closed my camera in class
what the actual fuck did she just say
tell me I'm hallucinating
times like these I wish I was Jared 19
no, because I'm actually speechless right now
Paige and Irene need therapy
OH SHE WENT THERE
“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”
THANK YOU
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON
I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him
I can't believe this
“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”
“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”
OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU
hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight
I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME
“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”
I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.
This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.
yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.
MAX IS SMOKING TOO
YOU FUCKING IDIOTS
oh wait
oh they might be alec's
yeah
For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.
Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.
He kept talking about portalling people to hell.
MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!
But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.
They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.
YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.
NO MAGNUS
THAT'S IT
MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL
WE'RE DOING IT
why do we hurt others?
my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units
me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.
“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”
EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”
AS HE SHOULD
Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.
He's right though.
it'll take time. lots of it maybe.
BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.
It fucked with his mind so much.
Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS
“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”
MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER
He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.
Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.
EXACTLY
Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.
It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.
GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO
(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)
His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.
that's adorable actually.
“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”
“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”
“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”
“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.
Therapy is boring but useful so-
He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.
He needed to go back home.
UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES
I'm so proud of him for this...
I still say we kill these people.
JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE
UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF
Camilla Alvarez.
well well.
OH THEY KISSED
“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”
hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT
Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.
Rafe: OMFG WHAT
Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.
AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU
THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING
“He is hot.”
He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”
“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.
Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”
I'm liking this ship...
I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP
but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs
Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.
Rafe: ????
Dad: I hv friends thr.
Rafe: ???
Dad: Thy r watchn u.
Rafe: Creepy but okay.
HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV
THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL
Do it
MILA IS GOING TO NY!!
I like her. she's nice.
He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”
“Why?”
“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”
honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs
Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.
no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.
“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.
LMAO
Max and I are vertically challenged.
“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”
So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.
well-
“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.
“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.
“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”
“Dick."
I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO
When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.
There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.
There was only growth.
His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.
This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.
YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.
“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”
Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”
“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”
I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.
“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”
YES EXACTLY
“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”
I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.
“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.
“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”
affectionate sigh that's alec.
“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”
Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”
“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.
Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.
Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.
Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.
I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class
I'm so proud of him.
“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”
“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.
“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”
THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.
THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG
“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.
Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine
“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”
YES CRISTINA
“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”
What if I just strangles him
“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”
“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.
“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.
“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.
“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.
The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)
THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL
“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.
YES ANJALI
Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”
“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.
CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES
“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”
“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”
YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE
“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”
SHOW THEM, QUEEN
How did she know his birthday????
ahem
“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”
There was absolute silence then.
“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”
The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.
“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”
She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.
Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.
also, alec looking scared-
“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.
“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”
“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.
YES YES AND YES
“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.
“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”
“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”
“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”
Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️
"She hates me!"
“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”
Stupid but brave.
YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!
ANJALI WHO HURT YOU
WHO DARED TO
Names. Give me names NOW
Jaime no...please no not Jaime.
please please, please
ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...
“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”
This is such an Anjali thing to say.
OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??
me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...
BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...
UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE
see ya on Friday!!
OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.
But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!
Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!
16 notes · View notes
eveenstar · 4 years
Text
𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒
𝙰 𝚁𝚎𝚍 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚁𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝟸 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙸𝙸
Summary:  In 2031, a journal is found. It tells the story of a woman named Y/N L/N, who claims to be a time traveler from 2021. This is the story of her life.
Tags/Warnings: Nothing to add yet.
Note: Also, this is a Javier Escuella x reader. The reader is also female, sorry! 
Tumblr media
“What the hell?”  
“Is she alright?”
“Don't just stand there, help the poor girl!”
I remember waking up on a bed, not soft at all, reminded me of a rock.
The rays of the sun made the girl groan and sit on the bed. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around and noticed the strange ambient she was in. A few people walking around, yet none of them noticed she was awake. The woman got up slowly, swaying on her feet, and took slow steps towards her bag left on the ground, until a small voice startled her.
“Mama, the weird lady is up!”
“Already?”
(Y/N) sighed, her head up, and watching as all the eyes were on her. Her mind was still processing the information from the past hours, time-traveling. Right, right, she knew what to do. At least, what she was supposed to do. Her body felt different, probably still adjusting to going through a portal, her mouth was dry and she could still taste a bit of dirt on her lips from the fall.
“Hey, lady, you good?” A silvery voice ringed, waking (Y/N) from her thoughts. Looking at the group of people surrounding her. The man wearing a sombrero got closer to her with a cautious look on his face. The girl didn’t answer, the shock beginning to take over her body. Only know did the poor girl realized what she had done.
“Javier, be careful. She could be…dangerous.” Another voice coming from behind him said.
Dangerous? Well, she kinda is, right? Being a skilled hacker and knowing her way on a gun, but that probably wouldn’t serve much in this era. The hacker part, at least. (Y/N) focused on the loud voices coming near them, they were arguing, and probably about her too.
“Why are we keeping her alive, Dutch? The woman came through that shiny golden circle on the sky and you decide to keep her here?” A blond man waved his arm towards her angrily. (Y/N) recognized him from the old picture the other woman had shown to her; Micah Bell.
“We can’t just kill her, Micah. We need to hear her first.” The other man, Dutch van der Linde, or the dude with fancy clothes, replied. Seemingly annoyed by Micah.
“We have far too many mouths to feed already. We can’t have another one.” A feminine harsh voice announced. “Who comes through something like that in the middle of nowhere? In our camp? She’s dangerous.”
The woman let out a heavy and annoyed sigh. Crossing her arms and looking to the gang, with her brows furrowed. She wouldn’t let them talk like that about her like she wasn’t there. Everyone quickly looked at her.
“If you let me explain myself first before any of you open your mouths.” (Y/N) could see the surprised look on a few faces, but an angry one on the others. Maybe having an attitude wouldn’t do her any good here, probably should get rid of that before causing any problems amongst the gang. After all, she needed to gain their trust.
“I’m sorry, Miss…?”
“(L/N).”
“I’m sorry, Miss (L/N), they can be quite suspicious about strange folks. Of course, we’ll let you explain yourself after…that.” Dutch spoke softly with an educated tune, being the calmest and reasonable of them all. The girl took a few steps back, stumbling on her words a few times, even mumbling in Italian. Everyone’s eyes were on her like hawks, most of them curious but suspicious. It wasn’t hard to understand them, a random woman popping out of a hole on the sky dressed weirdly would any person be suspicious and probably very shocked.
(Y/N) was taking too long. Hearing a click of the tongue made her straighten up and fixing her eyes on the wanted gang.
“Well, err, I am…from the future-“
“The future?! I can’t listen to that bullshit!” Micah replied almost immediately.
“Shut the fuck up I’m talking!” The sudden shout made their eyes widen a bit, but she could still hear a few mumbled laughs on the background. “As I was saying, I came from the future. I’m from 2021. Someone sent me here to…help you all before a big tragedy takes place.”
After seconds of shocked nonbelieving silence, a few loud voices were heard around. Mostly because they didn’t believe one single word she’d just said, others were questioning why Dutch decided to let her live and how they should just throw her on the river. But, one of the girls slowly approached her, more calmly.
“Why you?” The young brown-hair freckled woman asked, one of her brows up in a questioning way. She sounded so gentle when she spoke.
I adored Mary-Beth. I think she was the kindest and most gentle member of the Van der Linde gang.
“Oh. Well, you see….” (Y/N) gazed hesitantly to Dutch for the first time. He was watching her with his arms crossed, with a heavy brooding expression and eyes narrowed. The leader was wearing a black and red vest with a blue and white pinstripe shirt, with gold chains on his vest, with a smart black jacket and a black hat. He was taller than her and stronger; with a thick, black mustache and soul patch under his lips, he also has dark black, slick backed hair that curls at the end. Taking a mental note on his appearance, he seemed far more intimidating in real life.
I recall thinking “Damn, is that my great-grandpa? He’s hot.”. But in a serious note, he seemed to be so cold-hearted but at the same time, kind and trustworthy. He did look like a gentleman. He was an outlaw, and well, I guess it does run on the family.
What was she doing? Why did she take the stupid decision on going back to the past just because someone didn’t like how this gang’s fate ended? Many, many lives didn’t have a happy ending too. So why change only theirs? (Y/N) was already regretting the foolish decision she took, but hey, she still had that block thing to go back. Nothing was lost yet, she just had to justify herself and get the hell out of there before they decide to kill her or worse.
Hearing a forced cough woke the girl from her thoughts. Feeling embarrassed when she noticed she had been staring at him this whole time. Good, just wonderful.
“I’m Dutch’s…great-granddaughter.” The words merely escape her lips and heavens, how she felt like throwing herself out of a cliff after it. A burst of loud laughter was heard, coming from some of the men. A great joke, yes, that’s what this was. They didn’t believe her, not without proof, and she couldn’t honestly blame them.
“You can’t possibly believe this crazy woman’s words, Dutch. C’mon.”
“Miss, please elaborate on that.”
“Dutch? C’mon boss, she hit her head when she fell!” Micah shouted, not very happy with the leader deciding to hear her story before making any judgment. (Y/N) was glad for it, who knows what would happen if he decided to listen to that idiot.
She grabbed her bag and started to look for her phone, it probably wouldn’t work much there but if time traveling is a thing, maybe ghost WiFi was too. Who knows. Probably asking for too much there. (Y/N) took a few steps closer and turned it on, showing them the colorful wallpaper and the date, “2021”, proceeding to shows some pictures of streets and buildings she had on her gallery. It seemed to have worked, has everyone had a terrified look on their faces. Most of them were still a bit hesitant, and probably scared of the unknown.
The girl turned to the leader, she didn’t have any proof about being his great-granddaughter. Wait, she didn’t ask for it too. Damn it, did she just get fooled by that woman?
“I don’t have any proof, sir, but that woman told me I was…your granddaughter and needed me to save you all.” Before he replied, she added. “She did mention a one night woman you were with.”
“If what you’re telling us is the truth,” He began, slowly. Still watching her closely. “I guess you’ll have to stay with us.”
Giving the man a slight smile, the girl nodded. She heard a few angrily mumbles coming from behind them, some of the gang’s members weren’t very happy with that sudden decision. With a gentle pat on her shoulder, Dutch made his way to the middle of the camp and looked at everyone, rubbing his hands together with a serious, yet sympathetic expression.
“Family, Miss (L/N) will stay with us for the time being. I don’t want any complaints about this, she showed us proof of her story and if she’s here to help us, we should give her a home.” Nobody spoke, just silence. Maybe they didn’t want to oppose their leader. “Miss Grimshaw, please help Miss (Y/N) prepare a tent and show her around.”
The older woman nodded, looking at Dutch and then glaring suspiciously at (Y/N).
“Miss (Y/N), I would like to speak with you…privately.” Feeling a sudden jump of beat on her chest, the girl nodded. The serious tune on his voice addressing to her caught her by surprise, she didn’t like that tune coming from adults. Perhaps because every time that happened, they would blame her for something afterward and treat her like a child.
“Don’t worry, he just wants to talk to you about that great-granddaughter thing, ya know,” Mary-Beth said, giving (Y/N) a warm smile. “I’ll catch you later, ‘kay? Someone has to show you around and meet the other folks.”  
“Thanks…?” The girl tilted her head a bit. That’s right, they didn’t present themselves yet.
“Mary-Beth. You?” The young woman replied. Her name fit her perfectly, she looked like the main character of a romance novel.
“(Y/N).”
“Oh, well, nice to meet you, (Y/N). It’s better if you go now, don’t wanna keep Dutch waitin’.” Mary said, already making her way to another tent. (Y/N) nodded in agreement, putting her brave face and walking confidently to Dutch’s tent. Alright, probably not that confident, but she couldn’t let the others think she’s weak or scared now. She had a role to keep! The thought about going back to 2021 was already in the back of her mind and probably would stay there for a very long time.
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maysbanks · 4 years
Text
hold out. (jj maybank)
here it is, the second part to hypersonic missiles ! the response to the first part was absolutely amazing, the support & love in this fandom is incredible & i just wanna say a huge thank you to all of you that take the time to like, reblog & comment, every single one means so much !! gotta admit im not loving this as in it's not my best work and kinda all over the place & half way through writing this i almost scrapped the whole thing to rewrite the full series with an oc bc writing as the reader was starting to get to me lol. but alas here it is & as always i hope u enjoy x
warning: swearing, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc 
summary: after accidentally inserting herself into a treasure hunt with four teenagers, one of which could be considered her 'friend with benefits', y/n grubbs is left to deal with the complications and misfortunes that come along with it - including her ever-growing feelings for said 'friend with benefits'. 
( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )
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If someone had told you a week before that you would lose your father, get your house raided by two men you had never seen before in your life, make friends with a group of teenagers, embark on a two hundred year old treasure hunt with said teenagers, and be hanging out with JJ Maybank every day and willingly, all in the space of one week; you'd have laughed in their face, asked them what drugs they were on and could you have some, and then laugh in their face again.
But alas, there you were. You still couldn't quite believe it, especially the JJ part. You'd had worries at first, like would the gang really want you involved, did they secretly hate having you around, were they just being nice and letting you in on this because your dad had died? All the doubts swirled in your mind, running around like clock-work, just ticking away constantly in the back of your head. Surprisingly, JJ had been the one you'd gone to about them.
"I just feel guilty," you'd said. It was after a day of riding around in John B's boat and using fancy hotels' WiFi, and 'borrowing' a drone from JJ's dads old workplace. His eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you, confused. "I mean, you guys have been friends for like, forever. And then I just show up and you conveniently find out about John B's dad and the treasure hunt on the same day when I'm there, and it's just like - I don't belong with you guys, it's your thing and I'm just kinda, here." 
"You're part of this just as much as we all are," he'd told you, matter of fact. His body was angled to face you as you sat outside John B's self-proclaimed Chateau, a freshly rolled blunt being passed back and forth between the pair of you. "You need to stop doubting yourself, man. You're apart of us now." 
The words had warmed your heart, an instant smile being spread on your lips as you looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. Underneath the setting sun, he looked almost angelic; his golden hair blowing in the slight breeze, tanned skin exposed due to the heat. You had pretended not to notice the tense of the muscles in his arms whenever your fingers brushed when you passed the juul between yourselves. 
"You're too kind to me, Maybank," you'd grinned, boot-clad foot nudging his knee gently. "If I didn't know you so well I'd have thought you'd have ulterior motives."
"Who says I haven't?" He'd smirked back. You'd just smiled, teeth biting down on the plump skin of your bottom lip before you'd looked away from his burning gaze and focused your attention on anything, anywhere but JJ fucking Maybank.
You got along with the gang amazingly, you couldn't doubt that. Pope was the smartest guy you'd met, sweet and funny and passionate and so certain of what he wanted to do in life. Kiara, or Kie, as you'd come to call her, was very environmentally involved, almost too cool for the guys, you thought. She cared so much about so many things, and she had a great taste in music too. John B was a bit like you, you supposed. Fatherless, on the hunt for answers, things like that - but other than that he was a great guy, the makeshift leader of the little group, a little lost in life, but that was to be understood.
And then there was JJ. You felt most comfortable around the blonde, but that was kinda a given too, due to the fact you'd seen each other in your most vulnerable states that came with having sex rather regularly, something the other members of the gang didn't share. He was a spit-fire, always ready to throw a punch and fire threats at those who deserved it, head-strong and stubborn. But he was more so caring, God he cared so much for his friends, you'd discovered. He would do just about anything for them, whatever position that put him in. JJ put the gang before himself, always. You'd noticed all different types of things about JJ especially, little things you had never taken the time to notice before.
These little discoveries probably came from watching him too much, you'd thought one night. It was a bit of a problem, though you never mentioned it. The unspoken rule amongst the group was No Pogue on Pogue Macking, which basically meant everyone was off limits to each other. You understood the rule, Kie having been the only girl before you'd arrived on the scene amongst three guys, and after becoming apart of the gang you had no choice but to respect it - which also meant that JJ was off limits. But was he technically off limits when you'd already been there, so far past the line on macking with each other?
There was some sort of agreement between the two of you, that in order to make this work; your friendship with the Pogues, the hunt for the Merchant's treasure, that nothing could happen. You'd spoken briefly about it that first day, outside the lighthouse beside the Twinkie (John B's van, you'd learned had a nickname), we're cool, right? Pretend we haven't seen each other naked, conversation. It had been cut short, but it still happened. And the pair of you never mentioned it after that, a few off-handed comments here and there from JJ, but nothing specific. So you assumed yours and JJ's hook ups were off the table, and you had no idea why that had come to bother you so damn much.
On the day following your talk with JJ on John B's porch, he'd invited you to come along with him and Pope as they delivered groceries for Pope's dad, Heyward. You had almost said no, because really, you could probably do with a break from the Maybank boy, all the time spent with him was doing no favours for your little situation of Fighting Attraction While Hunting For Gold. That's what you were putting it down to in your mind anyway, too much time spent with the person you're sleeping with can begin to mess with anyone's head, and hey, maybe it was the fact that you were grieving and JJ was familiar - but you couldn't be doing with all these thoughts anymore.
Despite the angel on your shoulder urging you to turn his offer down, you'd said yes. But that was little to do with JJ and more to do with your mom and your current home situation, which was unbearable, to say the least. Your mother was barely speaking to you, as if she was scared of letting something slip if she did. In return, you shut her out, too. Told her lame excuses and empty lies when you were heading out with the gang, lying through your teeth when she'd asked where you were or where you were going.
Lana Grubbs wasn't a stupid woman, though, and you knew she knew you were up to something. But she hadn't mentioned anything outright yet, and so you hadn't said anything either. The hole your father had left was huge and gaping, evident in both your lives. You hadn't spoken about it yet, and you weren't intending to until she could be completely honest with you. You didn't want to hear anymore lies, and you were already on the path to discovering the full truth. On your own.
Her words echoed in your mind every time you left the house, voice small and gentle as she never failed to say the same thing. "Just be careful." You'd always look over your shoulder, and she'd never look back at you. She hadn't looked at you much at all since your dad had died.
It was after a certain drop-off of groceries, you'd joined JJ in his delivery whilst Pope had docked the boat and gone off to deliver his own, yours and JJ's strides matching as you walked the seemingly never-ending drive of the abnormally large house that loomed over you. The Kook part of the island never ceased to intimidate you, no matter how much you didn't want it to. There was something about it, the people that lived amongst it, that unsettled you whenever you entered it. Figure Eight wasn't somewhere you usually visited other than an odd job you'd picked up, and you were reminded why of that fact as you walked alongside JJ.
"Just think," he breathed, all starry eyed and parted lips as he gazed around the pair of you. "This could all be ours soon."
You snorted, bumping his side with your own. "Don't be melodramatic, JJ,"
"I'm serious!" JJ protested. His sea blue eyes caught yours when he turned his head to look at you head-on. The intensity of his stare almost made you stop in your spot, but you managed to carry on, gulping when his eyes continued to hold yours. "I'm sticking to my earlier statement, right, we're going to move here, and out-rich all these fuckin' Kooks."
"Out-rich?" You raised an eyebrow, lips quirking. "Your grammar is so adequate, Maybank."
"It's a word," JJ insisted, nudging your side with the point of his elbow. "Who the fuck uses words like adequate these days, anyway? I don't even think Mrs. Humphrey knows what that word means."
You laughed at the mention of your shared English teacher, the grey-haired, short, spectacle wearing woman immediately entering your mind. JJ grinned when he heard your laugh, dimples winking in his cheeks.
"Mrs. Humphrey can't even spell Wednesday," you giggled, JJ chuckling along with you as he nodded. "It's a wonder how that woman has been working there for like, eighteen years or something."
Your steps faltered as you neared the door to the house, pace slowing as you both basked in the time spent with each other, though neither of you would admit it. "She was probably a good teacher at first," JJ said thoughtfully, shuffling the groceries in his hands. (You tried not to notice the way his arms looked when he did that, muscles clenching and on full show with his cut-off tank.) "I bet each year another brain cell of hers just like, dies."
"Wouldn't surprise me," you nodded. "Mine would attempting to teach classes full of teenagers," rather dramatically, you shuddered. "Especially if one of those teenagers was JJ Maybank."
"Hey!" JJ shouted, though his grin proved that he found your jab amusing. You laughed along with him, bumping his side once more as you finally landed at the door, watching as he turned to you, expression trying to be serious and failing, rather horribly. "You better watch yourself, Grubbs. I'm serious here, I can be a pretty scary guy if need be, y'know."
You didn't doubt that, of course. You'd seen JJ in action with your own two eyes, you knew what he was capable of. But somehow, stood with you there, on the doorstep of some filthy rich Kook's mansion, groceries in hand, blonde hair shining golden in the sun, sun-kissed skin exposed to your wandering eyes, grin on pink lips; you couldn't imagine JJ Maybank hurting a fly.
"Trust me, I know." You'd said just as he knocked on the door, shooting you one last toothy grin before the door was opened and he was pulled into a conversation with the woman who'd answered it, talking about all things from the weather to the next semester at school. You watched him all the while, smile growing on your lips without your knowledge as you took him in, seemingly in his element as he sweet-talked the middle-aged woman inside the house. When he turned to you suddenly, you startled, broken from your thoughts and caught red-handed staring at him like some freak. He grinned, tongue wetting his pink lips at the same time you internally groaned.
"I was just saying, the groceries," he trailed off as he pointed to the bags in your hands in which you'd forgotten were even there. You let out an 'oh' as you quickly passed the groceries over to the waiting woman, shooting her an apologetic smile as she looked at you knowingly. JJ nodded his head in your direction, speaking once more to the woman, "New guys, huh?"
You glared at him as the woman laughed, perfectly manicured hand reaching beside her and grabbing hold of her purse, pulling a note out with her slender fingers. She held the note out to JJ, who immediately tried to turn it down, insisting there was no need, but the woman was unrelenting - sending a pointed look your way as she told him, "For your troubles, sweetie."
JJ picked the note from her hands, a gracious smile being sent to her as he nodded. "It's been a long day," he sighed heavily and your jaw almost dropped as you resisted the urge to reach out and slap his arm. What a fucker. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Ramirez. I really appreciate it."
The woman, Mrs. Ramirez, as you learned, nodded and waved a hand. "No bother, sweetie," she told him before turning her eyes back to you. You forced a smile as she simply eyed you up and down, before sending an obviously forced one of her own. "And thank you." She said curtly, and you were ready to give her a piece of your mind before JJ was grabbing your arm and dragging you in the direction of where you'd come from, shouting one last thank you over his shoulder as he walked you back towards the boat.
It was when you were a safe distance away that you shook your arm from his hold only to slap him gently on his own as you glowered, glare smouldering as he laughed, throwing his head back as he stumbled beside you.
"You're such an ass," you huffed as you tried to ignore his chuckling, speeding your steps. "I mean, she literally just tipped you a hundred dollars for showing up and smiling, I'm sure if I had a third leg down there I would have got the same treatment too."
"Are you jealous?" JJ asked, having to jog slightly to keep up your hurried pace. His smile was huge and infectious, and you made a point not to meet his stare when he landed next to you in fear of breaking your fake annoyed stance. "Maybe if you weren't too busy checking me out then you could have talked to her, and y'know, make a small fortune yourself."
You scoffed, whirling around and halting him in place. He almost stumbled into you, and you stepped back when his hands landed on your arms to steady himself, shaking his grip off almost immediately. "I wasn't checking you out," you told him, matter of fact.
JJ grinned and ran a hand through his hair as he replied, "Sure you were," he shrugged. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared, biting down on your tongue as you resisted your own smile as he motioned to his body from head to toe. "Not that I can blame you, I mean look at me."
"I've looked, JJ," your voice was low when you said it, a knowing tone to your words. "I've looked, and I've seen it all, in case you forgot."
A low chuckle slipped past his lips. "How could I ever forget?" He asked rhetorically, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips as you tried not to follow the action with your eyes, and failed, miserably. "Trust me, that image is forever dented in my brain. I think of it, sometimes. Just randomly."
You rolled your eyes. And he's back, _you thought. _He never left, a voice at the back of your head piped up. You ignored them both. "C'mon," you said, already turning on your heel and starting off in the direction of where Pope had docked the boat. "Let's go get these deliveries finished."
The pair of you said nothing more for the rest of the duration of the short walk back, and when the boat was in your sights JJ was off running, more than likely eager to show off his one hundred dollar tip to Pope, as you idled, watching his back as he ran. When you finally landed in the boat, it was silent. You immediately picked up on the tension, heavy in the small space, and shot JJ a confused glance when he looked back at you.
Slowly, you made your way towards where the two boys were up at the front of the boat, Pope situated at the wheel. The dark skinned boy was staring straight ahead, refusing to meet either yours or JJ's eyes. When you looked to the latter, he subtly shrugged a shoulder, letting you know that he had no clue himself what was going on with his best friend.
"Pope?" You questioned softly. "What's wrong?" When there was no answer, you shared another glance with JJ, his concern shining in his blue eyes. You tilted your head as you went to ask him again, but when you did, your eyes caught on to the colour crimson that was slowly streaming down the side of his face. You gasped and JJ startled, chest bumping your shoulder as he tugged the cap from Pope's head, revealing the injury near the top of his head.
"Jesus!" JJ exclaimed when he caught sight of the wound, Pope swatting at his hands that held his hat, pulling it back down once JJ had let go. "What happened?"
"Rafe and Topper jumped me," Pope's voice was slightly wobbly as he informed you both, a tear sliding down his cheek as he recounted, "They said no Pogues on their side of the island."
Your blood began to boil just as JJ demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His own jaw clenched in anger as he looked at his best friend, beaten and bruised in front of him from the hands of some entitled selfish pricks that thought they were better than everyone because they had more money in their pockets. Rafe Cameron was a name that never failed to make you queasy at just the mention of it, and his little gang of followers including Topper Thorton were just as unbearable.
"I have something in mind." Pope spoke, voice and stance determined. And something he did, as he drove to Topper's new boat - and promptly swam over and removed the plug from it, causing the new model to sink into the water as you and JJ watched from Heyward's boat, keeping an eye out for anyone that may have spotted your trio.
And though it was bad, and you knew you probably shouldn't have taken part in such an activity, nor prompted Pope to either; you couldn't deny the rush it gave you as you watched Topper Thorton's boat begin to sink, and maybe it was the fact that you knew that Topper was a Grade A Asshole and deserved it, or maybe it was Pope's own unsure but excitable adrenaline that mixed with your own, or maybe it was just the fact that JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder without a care in the world as he shouted his support to his friend, squeezing you to his side almost unknowingly, like it was some kind of instinct.
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You thought, yeah, it probably was, as you immediately felt the loss of it when he moved to grab Pope in a hug. And then you thought, well shit.
There was a mutual share of disappointment when the gang had found just about absolutely nothing when you'd taken Pope's fathers boat out the next morning, drone ready and in hand to go hunt for the gold, where John B Routledge had marked down on the map it having been.
Granted, the Royal Merchant was there. It was just missing the one thing they were after - the gold was nowhere in sight, and the journey had been a complete waste of time. You thought it to be too good to be true, of course it had to be. Four hundred million in gold and you were expected to find it? There was no way, you thought bitterly as JJ steered the gang back to land, not one of you daring to speak as the disappointment crashed over you all in huge waves.
You'd departed with the guys not long after that, after promising Kie that you would accompany her to the annual summer movie night, making your way towards home. The bitter frustration ate away at your insides, you were mad, angry - fucking infuriated, each step the gang got closer to finding the gold, it was as if someone was stood in your path and shoving you all back another ten.
Had your dad really died for this? This seemingly never-ending hunt for promised gold that, for all you knew, could be complete and utter bullshit. You didn't understand it at first, when the pieces began to slot together, but it was like every time the chase got harder it made you want it even more; and then you understood your fathers fascination and Big John Routledge's obsession. This gold meant everything to you and the gang, and you knew, John B especially, would never give up on this chase.
"Hey, sweetheart," your mother called when you entered the house. The front door was still broken, only the screen in place, and was leaning against the wall as you maneuvered past it. Lana was sat at the couch, and when you walked in she'd shoved a box away from her, the lid laying haphazardly over the top. "I wasn't expecting you home so early."
You shot her a small and forced smile, shuffling your bag from your shoulder and onto the floor, landing with a soft thud. "Hey mom," you greeted back, noting her teary eyes and flushed cheeks. "What're you doing?"
When you arrived at the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder, you immediately recognised the box - Family Photos! _written atop _the cardboard.
"I was just looking through some old pictures," she told you, sniffling as she attempted to smile at you. "Just wanted to see his face again."
You nodded, your throat tightening at the mention of your dad. Reaching a hand up and wiping away her tears, she looked at you questioning, "Where have you been?"
"Just out," you said, bluntly and unconvincing. "Doing a few jobs here and there, y'know. Nothing exciting."
Lana hummed, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Mr. Phelps told me that he seen you with that Maybank kid the other day," she informed, your face falling for a millisecond as her words sunk in. She looked at you, tear-stained face and serious gaze, lips pulled to a thin line. "I told you to stay from those guys, Y/N."
"I was helping him deliver groceries, mom," you deadpanned - which wasn't exactly a lie, if that's when Mr. Phelps had spotted you. Most of your time spent with the gang was mainly off the land and away from prying eyes, whether that be on a boat or the Chateau, so you knew that was the safest bet of when you'd been spotted. "For Heyward's. It's not like I'm hanging out with him on purpose."
Lie, lie, lie. It was becoming alarmingly easy to lie straight through your teeth, and to your mother nonetheless, but you couldn't dare tell her anything, and why should you, when she hadn't told you anything? It took two to Tango, you thought.
"I just don't want you getting hurt," your mother reminded, and you let out a sigh as you nodded, faked closed-mouth smile on your lips. "I'm serious, Y/N, please just be careful out there."
"Always am," you promised (bull-fucking-shit). You turned on your heel, heading towards your room as you called over your shoulder, "I got invited out tonight, by the way. To the movie thing on the North Side. Is it alright if I go, please?"
You waited at your door, hearing your mother sigh from the couch. "Yes, you can go." You smiled, this one more real than all the rest, and thanked her gently. She didn't look back at you though, and the familiar unspoken tension was back with vengeance. You couldn't wait to get out of it.
The movie night was a welcome distraction from your frustrations with the treasure hunt, the haunting memories of your dad, and the tension with your mom. It was only you, Kie, Pope and JJ that attended - John B having seemingly disappeared for the day, none of the gang having heard from him. You'd managed to leave the house with relatively no questioning from your mom, and met JJ a little way down the block.
("Woah, keep two feet away from me please," you'd joked, halting in your tracks as you spotted him standing there. He'd furrowed his brows at you, frown etched on his face. "My cover's been blown, everyone knows about us!
He just looked even more confused, eyes squinting down at you as you raised a hand and layed it across your forehead dramatically. "What'd you mean?" He questioned, eyes darting around, seemingly searching for answers in the air around you both. "What, do people know we sleep together or something?"
You'd rolled your eyes, shoving him gently when you were close enough, beginning to walk away. "No, you doof," you chuckled. "Mr. Phelps ratted me out to my mom, told her that he saw us together the other day. I had to tell her that we were just delivering groceries for Pope's dad."
"Ah," JJ nodded, shooting you a mischievous grin. "We better go into hiding then, I'm thinking... log cabin in the mountains, all fur sheets and deer heads on the walls, ooh a hot tub too."
You laughed, "Trying to whisk me away there, Maybank?"
You were joking, but his eyes were surprisingly serious as he looked at you. "Always, Grubbs.")
The field was already packed full of people by the time the four of you arrived, groups of people scattered around, idle chatter filling the air. It was being held on the Kook side of the island, and your eyes swooped over the people, most of them being Kook's themselves, expensive clothing and an aura that just screamed, I'm better than you. It made you feel uneasy, but you tried not to think about it as Kiara led you through the crowds.
"I'm so glad they're still doing this," she tells you all, sighing happily. The faces of the guys revealed they were not nearly as happy to be there as she was, while you were simply just glad to be out of your house once again. "Keep calm, carry on. Back to normal, OBX life, y'know?" She stopped once she found a decent spot, turning to the three of you. "Aren't you guys glad I made you come?"
"Ecstatic." Pope deadpanned, sarcastic lull to his tone.
"My couch was pretty comfy." JJ piped up.
"I'm just happy to be out the house, I guess." You said.
You were aware why the guys were so uncertain about being there; it wasn't so long ago that Pope was sinking Topper Thorton's boat, you and JJ accompanying, and now you were all on his side of the island. Not only that, but you knew that if Topper was to discover that it was Pope who'd done his boat in, it wouldn't just be Topper that confronted him - it would be the full Happy Days Gang. Nothing was ever a fair game when it came to Kooks.
Kiara excused herself to go buy soda's from the conession stand, and you shifted as you seated yourself on the blanket you'd bought, having opted out of bringing a chair. You sat in front of JJ, his legs touching your back.
"What's wrong with you guys?" You turned your head when Pope and JJ began to whisper, the former's panicked eyes landing on you as you frowned at the pair.
"Topper and Rafe are on my ass," Pope revealed. "They know I sunk Topper's boat."
You sighed heavily, muttering a shit as JJ grabbed his friend by the arm, focusing his attention towards him. "They can't prove it, okay. Just deny, deny, deny."
Pope nodded along, muttering along with him as you watched the pair, before your eyes moved to Kie that arrived back, her eyes narrowing as she seated herself beside Pope. "Just saw Rafe," she informed, your blood running cold. You could practically feel JJ tense from behind you. "He said, and I quote, 'Tell your boy we know what he did'. What is that?"
"Um, where is he?" JJ questioned, his tone of voice revealing his hidden anxiety.
"Right there." Kiara nodded her head, right in the direction of where Rafe Cameron and his goons sat, as you, Pope and JJ whipped around, Pope practically turning his full body in their direction. You groaned as JJ desperately urged him to turn back round, and away from their taunting eyes.
"The whole death squad!" Pope exclaimed, anxiety riding off of him in waves.
"Don't stare, bro," JJ urged, hand wrapping around Pope's shoulders. You tuned out the rest of the blonde's words as he informed you all that he'd be coming out swinging if they were to corner him, and you felt dread build as you heard his last words. "If that doesn't work, I got this right here." He patted his bag.
"JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here," Kie practically begged. "JJ, there are kids!"
You focused your attention straight ahead of you as the guys continued to argue; Pope simply telling Kie that it might go down to her line of questioning, her brown eyes darting back and forth between you all. You refused to meet her eyes, however, and were glad when the large screen ahead of you suddenly lit up. "Oh, look," you exclaimed, laughing nervously. "The movie's starting."
And it was left at that - JJ whispering deny, deny, deny to Pope once more before you all turned your attention to the screen, trying to block out the intruding thoughts of having the knowledge that the gang of Kooks were staring you down, awaiting your next move like a predator would its pray.
All was going fine - the movie was good, everyone's attention on the black and white screen. You tried not to think about Rafe and Topper, or the gold or your dad, and definitely not the feel of JJ's legs either side of you, trapping you into his hold. You let yourself believe that everything would be okay, and then Pope had revealed he needed a piss, and everything had gone to shit.
JJ had accompanied him, and the two had set off behind the screen, hidden away from Rafe's watchful eyes. They hadn't done a good enough job to be discreet though, and you immediately took notice of Rafe, Topper and Kelce making their way towards the opposite side of the screen. You swore, catching Kie's attention as she questioned, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"Looks like that piss break just got a lot more complicated," you said, and realisation dawned on her face. It didn't take the pair of you long to locate the guys, all in various forms of fighting, as you and Kie screamed at them to stop. You grabbed Rafe's arm mid-swing, his fist raised and ready to send a hit to JJ's face from where Kelce had hold of him. "Stop it, you dick!"
You let out a scream as you were sent flying back from his shove, Rafe's blue eyes wild and crazed as he glared down at you. "Stay out of this, Grubbs!" He barked, and without a moments hesitation sent a fist hurling towards JJ's cheek.
Kiara had jumped on Topper's back from the small distance away from you, and you took a moment to ready yourself before hurtling towards Rafe from your crouched position, tackling him to the ground from his knees, effectively stopping his blows. He seemed stunned for a second, staring dazed up at you before he promptly threw you off of him, shoving you to the ground without a care. "Don't fucking touch me," he growled down at you, and you groaned slightly as the wind was knocked from you.
You heard JJ from somewhere above you, shouting insults at Rafe and repeating your name over and over. You lifted yourself from the ground just as Topper puts Pope in a headlock, his tight grip causing the dark skinned boys breath to leave him in choked gasps. You shoved at Rafe's back once more, sending him stumbling forward before he whipped around, hand reaching out and grabbing you by the face, tugging you so you stood nose-to-nose with him.
"I said," he ground out darkly, eyes boring into yours. "Don't fucking touch me."
You were beginning to fear what would come next before a sudden glow caught your eye from the side, the movie screen lighting up in harsh flames. Rafe dropped you, your hands moving to rub over the imprint he'd left, as you looked towards where Kie stood, JJ lighter in hand. Screams of terror echoed from the other side, as people began to flee, and it didn't take long for the three Kooks on your side to follow, sprinting quickly from the scene. Fucking cowards, you thought.
JJ's hands were on you before you could even blink, eyes earnest and worried as they looked over you, your cheeks red from the earlier grip Rafe had on you. "You good?" He asked you, slightly out of breath. You nodded, repeating the question to him. He smiled lightly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good."
The night had ended promptly there, Kie dropping you off at your respected houses. You'd bid them all a good night, and as quietly as possible made your way into your home, not wanting your mother to see the marks imprinted on your face from Rafe's fingers. Luckily, she'd already been in bed, and it didn't take long for you to crawl into yours, thoughts of the day and a certain blonde running through your mind.
The next morning you'd met the gang (save for John B, who was still seemingly missing) at the Heyward's store; your morning had been spent desperately trying to hide the red marks that Rafe's fingers had left from your mom before she could notice and ground you in your room for the rest of your life. It had a been a success for the most part, and she asked no questions as you left the house, though you took note of her uncertain expression as you bid your goodbyes.
"Have you heard from John B?" You asked Kiara who was working closest to you. You had realised the brunette boy was missing from the group upon your arrival, and you couldn't help the worries in your mind at where he could be or what could have happened to him.
"No, nothing. Have you?" She returned the question, brown eyes meeting yours as you shook your head no, a short sigh falling from her lips. "Neither have the guys. What're you thinking?" Kiara eyed you, gaze suddenly sullen. "Do you think something's happened?"
"I don't know, Kie," you told her because honestly, you didn't. John B had a target on his back, that much was for sure. Son of Big John, once owner of the proclaimed death compass. Your mind thought back to the two men that had raised your home, and chased the guys on more than one occasion, and you couldn't help but think the worst. "I'm sure he's fine, though."
Kiara nodded, though she looked anything but sure. "Yeah, you're probably right." The pair of you continued on with your respected work, JJ's and Pope's voice trailing from somewhere in the store as they talked. "You're working Midsummers, right?"
You groaned, nodding. Kiara laughed at your sour expression. "Oh yeah, second year running. To be honest, I'm surprised they let me work it after last year, my customer service must be better than my right hand hook," you joked, chuckle escaping your lips as you thought back to the Midsummer's party the year before. Your dad had gotten you the gig, because he was a weasel like that - always talking people into getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was the gas bill to be paid, and his face just didn't fit the portfolio to be serving Kook's their drinks at their fancy party, and so it had left left to you to do just that.
The night had ended with Dean Kipp on his ass after his hand had fallen on your ass, and you'd been let off with a warning as the guy clutched his bloody nose and called you everything ranging from psycho bitch to slutty pogue. Your surprise was immense when you were offered a job again this year, and a large amount of the reason you'd said yes was just so you could see the look on his face when he saw you.
"He totally deserved that," Kiara remarked, grinning. You smiled back, the pair of you sharing a laugh as you returned to your work.
For a second, you let your worries wash away as you were pulled into a conversation with the gang, your spirts high for the first time in a while. You were happy, you realised. What had started off as being the worst period of your life was slowly turning into the best, the gang and treasure hunt a blessing in disguise. The four of you shared laughs and joked back and forth as you worked, and you found yourself to be perfectly content.
All that came crashing down when Pope's father entered the shop, police officer trailing behind him. "Hey, Pope! There's someone here to see you."
You stopped dead-on, the rest of the gang halting in their movements as you all stared towards the officer you recognised as Shoupe. "Evening, officer." Pope greeted, gulping.
"I have an arrear warrant for felony destruction of property," Deputy Shoupe approached your group, handing the said warrant to Pope's dad. From beside you, JJ tensed, and when you turned to look at him, his blue eyes glanced down at you, freshly beaten face pulled into an anxious grimace as his jaw clenched. Shoupe had gotten remarkably closer, hands reaching for the handcuffs placed on his belt. "Hands where I can see 'em."
Pope glanced desperately towards JJ, who shook his head quickly, his words, though unspoken, clear as day. Deny, deny, deny. But denying wasn't going to get Pope out of handcuffs, you decided as you stepped forward, tone pleading as you demanded, "Stop, you can't just do this!"
"Out of my way please, Miss Grubbs," Shoupe dismissed you, sounding almost bored as he shoved past you, beginning to handcuff Pope who can do nothing but allow it to happen, his anxious eyes focusing on one spot as reality began to sink in.
"What did he do, Shoupe?" Mr. Heyward questioned in disbelief, watching as his son was getting arrested in front of his very eyes.
"Take a look at the warrant," the cop said simply as he begun to tug Pope out of the store.
It was chaos. Everyone was shouting, demanding answers and hurling insults. JJ is screaming something about somebody paying him, Kiara is in your ear asking what the hell was going on, Mr. Heyward is hurtling questions towards both his son and Shoupe. Passbyers stared at the scene, whispering to each other as they walked by or stopped to watch. Everything blurred together, and you could do nothing but watch the scene unfold in front of you.
Those fucking assholes, you thought. Topper Thorton came to mind, tan skin and bleached ends, million dollar smile and designer clothes. You remembered his wild gaze as he held Pope in a headlock the night before, close to almost killing him. And yet he was off somewhere doing god knows what, probably shopping for a new boat to replace the one he'd lost, not that he probably cared all that much about it in the first place. Rafe Cameron's eyes entered your mind next, and you felt a shudder run through you as you remembered them boring into yours as he held your face frighteningly tight and close to his own.
JJ's voice was suddenly breaking through your stream of thoughts - "It wasn't him!" He was calling out, eyes directed on Shoupe who paused and turned toward him, Pope's face disbelieving from behind him. "It was me."
It sunk in then what JJ was trying to do, and you whirled around from his left, quickly shaking your head as you muttered, "JJ." He ignored you however, and stepped forward towards where the officer was standing, Pope still in his arms.
"He tried to talk me out of it," JJ continued. "But I was mad because he had just been beaten up, I was sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He was stood directly in front of Shoupe, almost boot-to-boot. You couldn't see his face from where you were, and you were almost thankful for the fact as you heard him direct his words to Pope, "I can't let you take the fall for what I did. You've got too much to lose."
"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope demanded. His face was confused, just as much in shock as the rest of you. For a second, his eyes leave JJ's and land on yours, a shaky breath leaving your lips as his eyes were practically pleading.
"I'm telling the truth, for once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth," JJ announced loudly. "I took his old man's boat, too."
"What the hell?" Mr. Heyward questioned, though nobody paid him any mind. Your gaze was too focused on the unfolding scene of JJ Maybank taking the fall for something he most definitely do, and you could do nothing but watch it happen.
Your heart finally shattered when JJ's last words entered your ears, "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."
He only looked back once as he was put into the handcuffs that previously held Pope, and that wasn't until he was shoved in the back of the police car and the door was slammed behind him. You walked closer towards it, hand on Pope's back as he watched his best friend get arrested for something he'd done, and you both knew it. When JJ glanced up and out of the window, bruised face clear behind the glass, his sea blue eyes caught yours and then he smiled.
The fucker.
You could only watch helplessly as the police car was driven away and out of sight, Pope throwing his cap down in a fit of anger as he stormed off, his dad calling after him, Kie landing to your right. The dark haired girl wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you to her side gently.
"JJ'll be alright," she told you, voice confident though her face read anything but as she glanced in the direction the car had been driven off. "He always is."
But what, a voice in the back in your head nagged at you, if this time he wasn't?
And then it dawned on you: you actually really, generally, sincerely and whole-heartedly cared about JJ Maybank.
(And the thought scared you more than you would ever like to admit.)
& to the lovely people that asked to be tagged in this, love you all x @ponyboys-sunsets @mysticsthinking @danicarosaline
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angelsswirl · 3 years
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Petrichor
Nine
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Notes: I highly recommend you listen to What If by SafetySuit either before reading or while reading because it fits this chapter so perfectly it took me half an hour to choose which lyrics to use.
"If it makes you sad at me, then it's all my fault and let me fix it please."
"You know your problems won't go away if you hide from them, right?" Lisa asked without looking up from her magazine.
"You know Tiger Beat is a child's magazine, right?" You asked without looking up from your spot on the floor.
Lisa closed the magazine loudly. She huffed and crossed her arms, "As soon as this baby gets out of me, I'm kicking your ass."
"Then who's going to feed Jennie while you're in the hospital recovering from your injuries?"
"I can feed myself, thank you very much."
"I'm not sure you know your left from your right sometimes."
"You're mean when you're scared and upset." Jennie's nose scrunched up. She is not afraid to admit her feelings were a bit hurt. She knew her left from her right, but she was definitely lying about being able to feed herself. She can't cook to save her life.
"I'm not scared or upset."
"You're a pathological liar, too."
"Ladies, ladies you're all pretty! Now, will you shut your traps. My blood pressure is spiking because all of your damn yapping."
"Sorry, mom." Everyone apologized. Even Kameron, who hadn't even been in the original conversation.
All five of you were packed into the medium sized hospital room, save for George whom had to return to work that day.
You sat the closest to your mother, Jennie and Lisa sharing the small cushioned bench built under the window. Kameron sat in an extra plastic chair directly under the suspended 19 inch television, his laptop on his lap currently being used to hack into the hospital's wifi.
"Y/N, apologize for calling Jennie stupid." Maria admonished as she fiddled with the television remote. The buttons were huge, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that the hospital seemed to have only two working channels. Fox News and...oh, the other one just lost signal. Just Fox News.
Maria opted for turning off the television.
"I rather not." You answered plainly. Your knees were tucked under your chin and you still stared at that spot on the linoleum floor.
Maria swatted your thigh.
"Y/N Ariel Y/LN."
You just grumbled.
"Your middle name is 'Ariel'? Like the mermaid?" Jennie started to laugh loudly. She immediately stopped upon the shoe hitting her square in the gut.
"No. Not like the mermaid, Knothead." You gestured for Jennie to give back your shoe. Jennie did so with a scowl.
"Why is she being so mean?" Lisa pouted.
Maria huffed, "Her heat's about to start. So, she's grumpy. Also, she got herself into a unforgiving situation and it's all starting to unravel in front of her." Maria looked as though she had even more explanation to give but thought better of it.
You eyed your mother suspiciously, "How'd you know all that?"
"Mother's intuition."
Lisa's eyes squinted in determination, "Time for 'Operation: Just Pick One! Damn!'."
Everyone nodded along in agreement except for you.
"I've got the Pros and Cons T-Table pulled up!" Kameron gestured to his laptop. Lisa gave him a thumbs up.
You stared at your omega brother, "What do you know about any of this?"
"Oh, Lali and I talk once a week about you because you don't tell us anything. We were going to stage an intervention within the coming week if all of this hadn't happened." He said as though it was obvious.
You just rolled your eyes. Your brother knowing your business was the least of your problems at this point.
"Okay, but if we're going to have this conversation, Jennie has to leave."
"What? Why?"
"Because you're an alpha and you wouldn't get it."
"Try me."
"...Fine."
Lisa clapped excitedly, "Yay! It's finally happening. Kam, make sure you share the spreadsheet with your mom and I." She pulled her MacBook air out of large handbag and then delicately placed Maria's laptop on her overbed table.
Kameron nodded just as excitedly. Maria also nodded appreciatively as the group got their data together.
You wondered when your life got this out of hand.
At least Jennie looked just as lost as you.
"Um, babe? Is all of this necessary? I think you're scaring-"
"Shhhhhh, honey," Lisa blindly pressed a few fingers against Jennie's lips, "I know exactly what I'm doing."
"...ok..." Jennie looked to you with a mildly frightened look on her face. She shook her head slowly as if to say 'I tried. I am so sorry for what you're about to go through."
"Okay. First question! Who have you thought of more recently?" Kameron asked as he typed furiously on his HP.
"I'm not sure what any of this is going to help."
"Answer the question!" Kameron urged.
"God! I'm thinking about them both constantly, but I guess, Rosé because I spoke to her last."
Kameron nodded resolutely and continued to type.
"Next question, if they were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would you save?" Lisa asked, her eyes narrowing intensely at her best friend.
"Jennie, do you feel like this is a trap? Because I feel like this is a trap!" You inquired. You scooted your chair further away from everybody.
Jennie slowly pulled her arm from behind her wife, she then scooted away from her and to the opposite end of the bench, "Yes. This feels exactly like a trap."
"Okay, you don't have to answer that one." Maria glared at Lisa who just shrugged.
"How about this one? Who do you miss the most?"
You threw your hands in the air in exasperation, "Lali asked me that months ago! Don't you think if it was that simple I wouldn't be in this situation right now?! I miss both of them because they won't fucking talk to me! And I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to talk to me either." You sat back into your chair with a watery sigh.
"Can I give it a try?" Jennie raised her hand sheepishly, "Without all the spreadsheets and interrogations." She directed the second part at three specific people.
The three specific people all reluctantly closed their laptops.
"Everyone else is, so why not?"
"Well, first. I think you need to lay off yourself a bit. Yeah, you put yourself and them into a sucky situation, so what? Get over that. There's no going back to change anything, so why wallow in it? Relax and forgive yourself." Jennie spoke softly, her forearms resting against her thighs as she leaned forward.
Your shoulders sagged just enough to let Jennie know she was getting through to you.
"I'm sure you know what traits you value in a partner, and I'm not going to ask you what those traits are because I'm sure Lisa would start to log your answers again. Besides, it's none of our business." Lisa glared at Jennie.
"You just have to apply those traits. Organize your morals which you have clearly been fast and loose with lately. Ask yourself questions like 'Are you really ready to be a family woman? A mother?' And 'Are you okay with your mate having her work really high on her priorities list?' Think about what you want. Think about what you need. Think about who would be the best alpha for you. And then when you have all those answers to all those questions and you're all thinked out. Stop thinking and just go talk to her." Jennie smiled softly as you nodded slowly.
Lisa stared at her wife, her mouth wide opened, "I have absolutely no idea why, but that was the sexiest thing you have ever done." Jennie blushed heavily.
"Yeah, Jen. When did you get to be so smart?" You teased.
"I have a B.S. in Biochemistry from NYU." Jennie deadpanned.
"Yeah but you're a lounge singer. It's not like you're doing anything with it."
"Alright, you got me there."
"Knock, knock. Hello, Mrs. Y/LN. Your discharge papers are ready." The doctor explained as she stood at the door, not wanting to intrude.
"Oh thank God! I was going to jump out the window if it had been another hour."
"Mom!"
"What? You would've too. Now shut up and help me into my clothes."
You did as told.
~•~
Once you were sure your mother was settled at her home with your father. You went back to yours.
You sat heavily on your couch.
Jennie said to think. So, that's what you were going to do.
In the back of your mind, you knew who it was supposed to be the minute Jennie finished talking.
Sometimes, you just need to be told to get over yourself and put things into perspective.
But you chugged on anyway.
If only to double, triple check.
Some thoughts involve Jennie's suggested quandaries and others you came up with all by yourself.
It's about 5 minutes in that you're already noticing a very clear pattern. The same name keeps coming up. Amid 'Yes' and 'Nos' and 'We're just going to have to work on thats'.
It hit you so harshly you're not even sure why this was a struggle to begin with. The revelation just about sucks all the nagging anxiety and subsequent energy out of your brain. This must have been the "thinked out" part Jennie was talking about.
That meant the next step was to stop thinking.
It's easier said than done, but you managed.
The last step.
Just go talk to her.
You nodded with finality.
You were going to do just that, but first you needed to fix something.
~•~
"I'm sorry." You said. You may be done feeling sorry for yourself, but that didn't mean you couldn't feel sorry for others.
"For what?"
"It-I can't keep doing this to you. It's not fair."
"I-I understand, I guess."
"I shouldn't have led you on. Made you think-"
"It's okay, Y/N. It really is. But I'm going to need some time before we can get back to normal if I can ever do that, with you again."
"I get it. I'll see you...later?"
You don't get an answer. Just a pained look and then a sort of wobbly shrug.
You have a feeling that's all you'll get from her for a while. And surprisingly, you're a little more okay with that then you thought you would be.
~•~
Notes: One more chapter left...
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sincerelymarinette · 4 years
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A Recorded Life (32/50) - Miraculous Ladybug
Words: 1758 Chapter Summary: A few days after the release with Jagged Stone, many things have gone back to normal. Well, kind of. Adrien and Marinette have been having a lot more sleepovers and movie/game nights, but they're just friends, right? Hawkmoth says time for another akuma! Author's Note: i have a love/hate relationship with this one. I really wanted to write another akuma battle but it was really hard for some reason, but I like everything else about the chapter. Also, I want to see Marinette and Adrien play Mario Kart.
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Alya, Nino, and Chloé were ecstatic. On Friday, Master Fu had left Miraculous boxes in their rooms for them. Clearly, he agreed it would be beneficial to have the extra backup against Hawkmoth and his newfound persuasiveness. Marinette knew it was hard for Master Fu to let other Kwamis out in the world, but it would really give Marinette and Adrien a hand.
And they had been helping out! Hawkmoth akumatized a kid over the weekend, and it was the perfect chance to give Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee a chance to get back out there. It's safe to say Hawkmoth wasn't expecting it, and he was probably going to up his game with there being more Miraculous holders against him. The team needed to be prepared.
After a week, Adrien and Marinette have been having as many sleepovers as they can get. Adrien keeps telling his father and Nathalie he has projects with her, and he kept calling or texting to say he was staying the night, it was safer than waiting around for a ride home. For some reason, Nathalie didn't argue it.
"They asked me if I know who Rena Rouge and Carapce are," Adrien said as they raced in Mario Kart.
"What did you say?" Marinette asked. "Ha! Blue shell coming for you!" She cheered.
Adrien groaned when he dropped into fifth place. "I told them I had no clue. They and Chloé just showed up the other day, and we've been making do."
"Good idea," Marinette nodded. "We don't need anyone knowing their identities, us and Chloé are enough," She sighed. "Yes!" She jumped up as the screen showed he crossing the finish line in first place. "Told you I play too much Mario Kart."
With a defeated nod, Adrien laughed as Marinette went on to select the next course. "They also kind of mentioned they don't like how much I've been over here? They think it's weird."
"Well, are you going to stop?" Marinette turned her head to look at him.
"No way, I have to beat you at Mario Kart eventually!" He pushed her shoulder. "I told them I was at Nino's helping him catch up on school work."
Marinette chuckled when she selected Rainbow Road. "And they believed it because they don't like Nino and probably think he isn't good at school."
"Naturally," Adrien said. "God, I'm gonna fall off this map like seventeen times in the first lap. Why, Mari?"
Just as Adrien said that, he drove right off the course. He also drove off the course when he heard a crash. "What a shame! An Akuma attack!" Adrien called out. "Guess we can't finish the race."
Marinette rolled her eyes. "We'll be playing later," She said as the turned off the TV and stood up.
"Tikki."
"Plagg."
The two transformed into their superhero selves and saw a flash of light come from a few blocks away. Ladybug opened her yo-yo to call the others, but Rena Rouge and Carapace were already running towards her and Chat Noir, and Queen Bee was coming from behind. "Good, we all heard the crash," Ladybug announced and tucked her yo-yo back onto her waist. "Has anyone seen anything?"
"Not yet," Rena Rouge responded. "Just heard the Akuma come from that way," She pointed behind her. "And Carapace and I figured this is where we would find you."
Queen Bee furrowed her eyebrows. "What? No, the Akuma came from that way," She pointed in the opposite direction.
Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other. "Don't tell me there's two," Chat Noir said. "That's not...normal?" He sighed.
"Okay, I guess we have to split up. Carapace, you come with me. The three of you head towards the one Rena Rouge heard," She directed to the group. "Everyone, stay safe."
Ladybug and Carapace took off in the opposite direction. "Two akumas? Has he done that before?" Carapace asked Ladybug.
"Not to start with. We've had it where they can duplicate, but that doesn't normally happen until after a little while," She replied. "I'm not even sure if they're the same Akuma, or two different people."
Ladybug held her yo-yo up to her ear. "Chat, you guys see anything?" She asked.
"Yeah, over by the school. You?" He replied.
"Not yet," Just as she said that, there was a crash right around the corner. "Now we do."
Chat Noir grunted as he jumped out of the way. "All this Akuma has done is throw cars at us and grunt. He hasn't said anything."
"We're just encountering ours. Stay safe," She said and put the yo-yo back on her waist. She nodded to Carapace, and at the same time they began running towards the Akuma. It looked like Stoneheart, but three times his size and a lot more violent. Stoneheart was years ago, why did Hawkmoth decide to create this one now?
Carapace laughed. "The old man must be running out of ideas," He said.
"Maybe we can beat him the same way we did years ago," Ladybug thought out loud. Just as she was about to call her lucky charm, Carapace yelled and grabbed her arm.
"Shell-ter!" He screamed, and a shield popped up around them. "What the hell is happening?" He asked as they stared at the Akuma.
The Akuma seemed to pixelate, and was shrinking down. The Akuma was now a copy of The Puppeteer, but again, three times the original size. "Manon?" Ladybug called out. She looked so different, but that was what she looked like when she was Akumatized.
"I am not Manon!" The Akuma yelled. "I am Copy. And you will give me your Miraculous!" The Akuma demanded. Though they looked like the Puppeteer, they sounded nothing like Manon. The voice was distorted, switching from really deep to really high, and everything in between.
"Well, this should be...interesting," Ladybug signed and called Chat Noir on her yo-yo. "You figure out what your Akuma can do?"
Chat Noir was breathing heavily. "Oh yeah," He said as he was running. "Yours changing from Akuma to Akuma, too?"
"Yep. Twins, maybe?"
"That, or one is a fake," Chat Noir replied.
"I doubt it," Ladybug said. "He wouldn't want to risk not getting a Miraculous."
With a groan, Chat Noir hung up his baton. "What's she been saying?" Ladybug asked Carapace.
Carapace shrugged. "I think they're trying to persuade you again."
"I won't let that happen. I've got too many other things to worry about and won't be persuaded," Ladybug determined.
"And if it takes over, you now I got your back, dude," Carapace promised.
Ladybug smiled and nodded. "Okay, I have a plan."
As Ladybug explained the plan quickly and quietly to Carapace, Copy was shifting into any Akuma that could break through the forcefield. Nothing was working, but it sure was distracting.
As Copy retreated back to switch Akumas again, the forcefield dropped to start the plan.
"Ah, I see you're finally deciding to join me," Copy, now Silencer with a twist, pointed out. They changed again, now as Lady Wifi, holding up the phone and ready to strike.
Copy started throwing the pause buttons at Ladybug and Carapace, both of them dodging flawlessly. Copy was clearly getting frustrated. "Come on, Marinette," Copy sing-songed. "Where's Adrien? Aren't you worried that since you guys are separated, he could be hurt?" Copy asked. "If you give me your Miraculous, you could go save him now."
Ladybug stopped moving and stared at Copy. "Ladybug! Don't!" Carapace yelled as he stood next to her.
She burst out laughing. "You think I'd fall for that again?" She directed at Copy. "No way! I know the rest of my team is safe, and they're just as strong. Hawkmoth really needs to learn some new tricks."
"Come on," Copy egged on. "Listen to me, your best friend," They continued. "Go ahead and hand it over."
Ladybug didn't move again, but saw Carapace sneak away while Copy was focused on Ladybug. She was staring at Copy, while Copy was slowly getting closer.
Marinette didn't realize how long the back and forth lasted, but it was a while. She continued to lead Copy to believe she almost was going to give up her earrings, but at the last second would back out. She couldn't imagine how annoyed Hawkmoth was, but she knew he wouldn't give up.
Finally, after Copy was almost going to give up, Carapace threw his shield from behind and hit Copy in the head. Copy fell forward, and at the perfect time, Carapace yelled, "Shell-ter!" And captured Ladybug and Copy into a green forcefield.
Copy was nearly losing consciousness, which seemed to make it hard to focus on being Lady Wifi. Copy pixelated again, turning back into what Ladybug guessed was what Copy really looked like. She picked up the piece of paper in Copy's hand.
"Oops," She said when she ripped it in half, and the Akuma flew out. "Well, isn't that lucky! No more evildoing for you, little Akuma."
Ladybug captured the Akuma, and Carapace dropped the forcefield. They high-fived each other, and ran as fast as they could to find the other three heroes and capture the other Akuma. Just as Ladybug and Carapace arrived, they saw their Akuma pixelating just like the other one, and Rena Rouge snapped the paper out of Copy's hand. "Gotcha!" Ladybug yelled as she landed in front of Copy and the other heroes.
"Talk about perfect timing," Rena Rouge said as the purified Akuma flew away.
"Where's Chat?" Ladybug asked, looking around.
Rena Rouge pointed to a building a few rooftops away. "He got hit and went to go recharge, but Queen Bee and I handled the rest of Copy. Speaking of, we should help them get home."
Ladybug nodded. "Yeah, of course. You and Carapace can take care of that, right?" She asked.
"Yeah, it's no problem," Rena Rouge said and started to walk towards her respectful twin.
Ladybug took off toward the rooftop Chat Nour was on. "Adrien, are you okay?" She said when she saw Chat Noir laying on the roof.
Chat Noir started to sit up. "Yeah, I'm good. Just a little hit."
Grabbing his hands, she helped Chat Noir stand up. "You had me worried," Ladybug said as she pulled him into a hug.
When they released, Chat Noir and Ladybug- no, Adrien and Marinette, were staring at each other. With very little thought, they looked at each other, and leaned in to share a kiss.
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Alya Césaire @alyacesaire
WE'RE WINNING TODAY BOYS
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@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries
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lalka-laski · 3 years
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are you afraid of letting people down? Yeah, but that doesn't stop me from doing it frequently... are you afraid of trusting people? Hm, I might be a little TOO trusting actually where will you be in ten years? Hopefully happy where will you be next year? Still here I'm sure is life too short to worry all the time? Yes but I can't help it. Worrying is just my nature are you a pessimist or an optimist? A pessimist I suppose, because of the anxiety who do you never want to lose? My loved ones are you confrontational? Far from it are you a pushover? Oh yes how often do you cry? A lot more than the average person do you let little things bother you? Way too often do you believe in soul mates? Absolutely. There's no doubt that Glenn and I are spiritual matters meant to meet on Earth
why are people so judgemental? I think most judgments come from a place of self-defense and protection.
list three things you’re thankful for. Glenn, my family, my friends do you believe in conspiracies? I love reading about them and hearing what wild ideas are out there but I don't necessarily subscribe to them can money buy happiness? Well it's real hard to be happy when you're homeless, hungry, ill and unable to pay for medical care etc.. what’s the greatest feeling in the world? Being loved do you believe in horoscopes? I take them with a grain of salt are you afraid of death? Very list three turn-ons. Wit, devotion & protectiveness, the ability to get along with my loved ones list three turn-offs. ARROGANCE, passiveness, shitty taste in music (lol but true) do you judge people? We all do. As I said above, it comes from a place of self-preservation most of the time. That still doesn't make it OK but that's the root of it. are you jealous of anyone? Yeah but not in a mean-spirited, bitter way, if that makes sense? I don't take my jealousy out on others. are people jealous of you? Honestly, a lot of people are jealous of mine and Glenn's relationship I think.
who is your role model? My mom, my godmother, and Nora who is your hero? ^^ do you love yourself? I am working on it. Glenn's a big help have you had a near death experience? Not exactly have you ever experienced a miracle? Yes! are you happier in a relationship? I'm the happiest I've ever been since I've started dating Glenn list three pet peeves. Slow walkers, stop & go traffic (makes me nauseous), spotty wifi do you wish on stars? Yep! And dandelions, eyelashes, etc etc... do you think you grew up too fast? Not really, no did your parents raise you well? I do. No parent is perfect but they took good care of us, instilled proper values in us, all that stuff can world peace be achieved? No way. Humanity is too greedy are you ashamed of yourself? Yes.. is racism a problem in our society? Only an ignorant idiot would say it's not
is sexism a problem in our society? Same response applies^ does age matter? In a lot of instances yes, of course what happens after death? I like to believe we go somewhere peaceful to reunite with our loved ones do you care about the environment? I do, but admittedly I don’t do much to help it. would you ever join the military? HAAAAA you got jokes! are you a leader or a follower? A follower for sure. And I don't think that's a bad thing. do you believe in magic? Yes do you fit a certain stereotype? Basic white girl, I guess is home where the heart is? Mine is <3 do you believe in karma? To an extent. But there's also a lot of people who've escaped what they deserve... do you donate to charities? I try to. But I'm too poor myself right now. ever experienced tragedy? Yes ever thought about giving up? This is very vague but yes gun control: yes or no? Even the most zealous gun nuts support SOME form of gun control. There has to be rules and standards surrounding firearms. ever had a dream come true? Yes do you think extraterrestrial life exists? There's gotta be how do you think the world will end? I can't even think about this without spiraling into a full-blown panic you just won a million dollars! :D First I'd pay off some debts, then I'd probably put the rest towards a house? I can't even imagine having that much money so I'd probably go wild your enemy was just hit by a car. I don't have any enemies as far as I know you have six months left to live. Can we not you have a baby on the way. I do not... and it belongs to your ex. BYE LOL
you woke up naked next to a friend. Weirder things have happened a waiter spilled food all over you. I'm probably the number one person a waiter would hope to spill food on because I'd be really forgiving and understanding about it you went deaf. That would be horrifying you went blind. Also horrifying you found out that you were adopted. That actually did happen to my sister you found out that your dad was gay. Now THAT would be the shock of the century you were stuck in a house with a killer. I'd die in seconds, no doubt you have no clean underwear. Wash some? a stranger called you ugly. I won't lie, I'd be hurt your friend called you ugly. Again, I'd be hurt a parent abandoned you. They would never
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campgroundspei · 3 years
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Bayside Travel Park
Campground #20
It's a long weekend on PEI and we are doing what our family enjoys doing most! Camping! We are on our 20th Prince Edward Island Campground!
Bayside Campground in Oyster Bed is where we  spent our weekend.
Even though, it is a long weekend we had some appointments in our day so we didn't get to the campground till around 4:30. We are also tenting this trip as my husband is working and I don't feel comfortable enough to drive a truck with a fifth wheel hooked on to it.
(When I called and booked the owners were so sweet and said that they would put me right across from the park so I could stay at my site and relax if my children wanted to take off to the park!)
We got our campsite set up in about an hour, it was pretty hot yet windy so it took me longer then I felt it
should have because of my hair blowing in my face every five seconds and the sweat pouring off of me! Once we got our site all set up, we definitely did some cheating and went to Big Mommas for supper.
(I actually planned on doing this all along though as they have the best fries with works I have ever had on PEI and have been waiting all summer to get there for some!)
After supper,  we ran into my brother who is seasonal at this campground and we had a drink together and went for a walk around the campground!
(He didn't know I was coming so it was a surprise for him to see me there!)
  After the walk I went back to my site and chilled for a bit with the kids then let them watch a movie in the tent. (We had our laptop there and used the campgrounds wifi and the kids were able to watch Netflix without any problems at all!)
After breakfast the next morning, the boys and I went for a walk around the campground. It is a small quiet very clean campground. The 2W and 3W sites were a fair size, they also have lots of seasonal people here who seem to be like a community. (I felt very safe camping here in a tent with the kids by myself!) They also had a gorgeous area for playing horse shoes, a beautiful pool set up, small playground with swings and a small store that sold your basics like ice, firewood and chips!
After our walk the kids wanted to go to the pool they had just peeked at so we got ready and headed there. The pool temperature was cold at first but not to bad once you got used to it. It was also beautifully laid out, with relaxing chairs on the sides and even a few shelters around. It wasn't very busy and lots of places to lounge around it ( definitely a place where I would enjoy lounging around all day!)
When we were done the pool we headed back to our site for some lunch! Then after that we headed to a beach with my brother and his kids that was a short drive away!
We spent a few hours there and then as soon as we got back the kids wanted to go back to the pool so we did!
(We were in the pool until supper time!)
After supper we started an early campfire, the store even gave me paper and kindling to start my fire! (This is the first time that paper and kindling have been provided from  any campground I've been to. Usually it is just the wood!)
I spent the evening around the campfire with my boys and playing with glow sticks until they were ready for bed!
As soon as we woke up Sunday morning we packed up our site and headed home. We were definitely all a little more tired after tenting for a weekend then we are when we have our trailor!
This campground is a small, quiet campground that is very clean and has a community vibe.
It is beside the Oyster Bed Speedway so if you don't like that noise I would suggest to go on a weekend with no races! (There was some when we were there but apparently the wind was going the right direction so it wasn't to bad. We only heard the cars every once in a while.)
My 12 year old said his favorite thing was the pool!
My 5 year old said his favorite thing was the pool and playing with the glowsticks!
My favorite part was the how relaxing the pool area and also that there was NO MOSQUITOES!
I would probably come back here for a weekend!
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hungarian-explained · 6 years
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2, 6, 28, 34, 40! you don't have to answer all of them if that's too many :D
Hey! :)
2. Are you planning any trips in the next few months?
Yes, definitely! I’ve been thinking about a quick visit to a city (Rome would be my top pick, but I don’t know yet) during spring break, and I’m also hoping that I’ll get to go on a longer trip in the summer, my heart is set on Scandinavia for that one.6. What things in your life have a higher priority than travelling? On the other hand, what things would you give up for it?
My family will always be my top priority and I would cancel any trip in a heartbeat if any of my loved ones needed me back home. The same goes for my close friends. I also wouldn’t be comfortable with not having a home, somewhere to return to. I’m generally willing to cut back on a lot of things (clothes, entertainment, etc) to save up for a trip, and I’m also not particularly picky when it comes to comfort during travelling - I’d rather spend 2 weeks sleeping in hostels or Airbnbs than pay for 3 or 4 nights at a hotel.28. Can you manage without wifi? How crucial is the internet to you while travelling?
That depends on a lot of things. Like if I knew that I was going to be without wifi during my trip, then I would plan accordingly and wouldn’t have a lot of trouble, but if that were a surprise, then that would cause some problems, because I often use my phone to find places to eat or double-check where I’m going, for example. Also, I generally have some work to do even when I’m travelling, so that’s another potential source of problems, but I think that I could probably go a couple of days without Internet, if I wanted to.34. What’s the best food you’ve ever tasted while travelling?Oh, God. I’m actually both a picky eater and a vegetarian, so this shouldn’t be such a difficult question, but it is. Okay, for one, there is Georgian hachapuri, which is fantastic. Or…Irish vegetable soup and soda bread, which I tried at a tiny restaurant near the Cliffs of Moher. I also love churros, I just wish they weren’t so unhealthy. Aaand….okay, this is not a specific food, but there’s one hotel in Austria, where we always stay when we go skiing, and they have the most amazing food ever. They actually cater to vegetarians past the “some fish, cheese and fried vegetables” level and I literally look forward to eating there as much as I look forward to skiing.
40. Tell us about a crazy thing that happened to you on the road.
I’ve been in a car crash! When I went to this wedding in Georgia, there was a ceremony at a church, and then I went with the newlyweds and some other people to a nearby forest to have some photos taken. Our driver was a pretty crazy one, even for a Georgian (road safety in Georgia is…quite lacking, at least when compared to Hungary). So we were nearing a junction, and instead of slowing down, he sped up and a car crashed into us from the right. Luckily, the worst injury any of us sustained was a sprained wrist, so everything turned out to be okay, but still, that was pretty crazy I think.Thank you so much for the questions!
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ccwandco · 5 years
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Recount: My Final Day of Church
My father is a minister. I went to the church he taught at pretty much every other Sunday up until a few years ago.
My mother and I made the executive decision to stop going to church because we didn’t actually believe in any God, and we hated seeing all the churchgoers. They were all pretty old, well into their 70s and 80s, and they always asked me the same questions. “Did you get taller? You’re so tall now!” “So I heard you switched from dance to creative writing..?” They were too social for my mother. She hates conversing with others.
The final day I “officially” attended church wasn’t a pleasant one. I normally sat downstairs with whatever kids were being watched over by the child care provider, on my phone. The building had no WiFi, so I spent most of my time creating random lists in my notes app that served no importance other than to fill the space from the beginning of the service to the start of the after-church lunch. Sometimes I would drink coffee (with lots of sugar and creamer), even if I wasn’t allowed. If absolutely nobody else was downstairs, I’d throw my shoes off and practice my dancing on the cold concrete floors. They were perfect for turning. I’d even talk to myself, if the moment was right.
This particular day went exactly as usual. I sat downstairs for the service’s hour long duration, mostly tuning out my father’s loud sermons and the cultish recitation of “The light of God surrounds us, the love of God enfolds us, the power of God protects us, the presence of God watches over us. Wherever we are, God is, and all is well.” They always concluded with those words.
My mother suddenly came downstairs and asked me to come up with her. Everyone in the church had decided, due to recent events, that they should take a picture together holding up a sign. The sign stated: “We welcome all races, all religions, all sexualities, all genders, anyone to our church!”
She wanted me in the picture. I don't always hate having my picture taken, and the message was definitely something I could get behind, but in the moment, I didn’t want to be seen. I stood there for the picture, slouching over and hiding myself behind my mother’s slightly taller figure. I pulled the Pikachu beanie I always wore over my eyes. My mother turned around, grimacing, and angrily whispered, “Stop acting so mopey and upset! Get in the picture!” My eyes widened and I grew incredibly embarrassed. I wasn’t sure what had triggered this spout of sudden anger, but I was sure the people surrounding us had heard her snap at me. I straightened my spine out and moved to the left, but I didn’t smile. I stopped smiling in pictures at age 11, only briefly going back to it at 13. 
The picture was taken, and my mother and I began our nearly hour and a half long drive back home. “I just wish you could be kind to the people at church. You never start conversations with them, you never say hello, it just blows my mind how rude you are.” she told me. “I don’t like smiling for pictures.” I mumbled back, crossing my arms in that typical teenage way. My mother didn’t like getting her picture taken either. I’d known that since birth, practically. Why couldn’t she understand how I felt? “Sometimes, we just do things we don’t want to do when other people tell us to do them.” she said, and that was the end of it.
The new year rolled around, and we had skipped church for several weeks leading up to it. We did go to the Christmas party, as did my brother. He hardly attended church anymore due to his job, and he was of course, bombarded with even more questions than me. “How tall are you now?” “How is your job?” “Making money, huh?” I was always secretly jealous of him for finding a way out of their biweekly discussion of the same topics.
After our fourth or fifth week of missing church, my mother turned to me and asked, “Do you really want to go to church every other week?” I shook my head no. “I don’t believe in any of that stuff, so what’s the point?” She sighed. “We go there to support dad.”
My father usually got upset if we didn’t go to church. We’d agreed upon only going every other week, and even that grew to be irritating. He didn’t really want us to go for religious purposes, he just wanted us to support his career. The church was pretty small, and there was already a problem with people not showing up for services or needing to cancel due to inclement weather. I don’t know exactly how much money my parents make a year, but I once caught a glimpse of the amount while filling out a college application. In short, my father makes significantly less than my mother. She works for a big media company, and she’s also promoted constantly. Ministry is my father’s livelihood, and all he really wanted was a little encouragement from his family. But I still hated that place, and I still hated driving up with my mother every other Sunday. \
“I’ll talk to him about it.” she finally said, and we never went back again. My father never mentioned anything of it, and he never once complained about our absence. Now, I’m unable to attend church at all because I work most Sundays. I still wonder if he cares that we don't care.
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