Tumgik
#- ̗̀▵.  ╱  your courage becomes the light parting these dark‚  dark clouds.  —  visual. *
hyrulefate · 4 years
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tag dump:   part 2!
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  [ navi voice ] hey‚  listen!  —  psa. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  support the local hero!  —  sp. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  those met along the way  /  faces you won’t forget.  —  p. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  your courage becomes the light parting these dark‚  dark clouds.  —  visual. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  destiny’s princess;  wisdom comes after a long road.  —  zelda. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  he who couldn’t handle the power of the gods.  —  ganondorf. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  your friend‚  your partner‚  one you won’t stop searching for.  —  navi the fairy. *
- ̗̀▵.  ╱  you must find  &  awaken them!  —  the sages. *
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dnygroup · 4 years
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Importance of Restaurant Branding in India & Its Direct Impact on the Revenue!
Restaurant branding in India is taking giant strides. The direction of the food & beverage industry is opening gates to new opportunities. Branding activity can give a fabulous boost to growth rate. Do your utmost to supersize the forms of branding by compressing costs in other departments while being in the course of substantiating your brand. DNY Hospitality has backed up many restaurants to fabricate their repute and brand identity with its insuperable services.
High accomplishments are possible in less time with restaurant branding in India because of its population and if one understands the glory of restaurant branding, it is viable to effectuate business in the food & beverage industry using restaurant consultation for multiple reasons.
1. Consistency is the Key
Restaurant branding in India is an art as well as a science. The creation of an aura or atmosphere for building your brand identity clamors for consistency and harmony. It is a prerequisite to keep striking the minds of the target market perpetually. The elementary touchstone for restaurant branding is a cohesiveness and constant approach.
Branding is always associated with designing since designing is the visible form of the abstract concept of branding. Common designs must conjugate distinctive configurations of your restaurants. The first step in the behest is to perpetrate branding & designing for your restaurant. Make sure you keep using the designs for a longer period of time because restaurant branding in India gives results after some time of investment and endeavor and not immediately.
2. Importance of Restaurant Branding in India
Restaurant branding in India aids in imparting the mission, vision, and values of the restaurant. A non-living entity can also become alive with branding and can have a personality for identification. A restaurant brand communicates the offers of a restaurant brand through visuals and connects with them emotionally through taglines and messages. It advances interaction with the customers on Social Media Handles. It brings transparency in operations and there would be no potentialities of loopholes in the quality norms. It helps in locating the concrete zones of obstacles and their targeted solutions during restaurant branding in India.
3. Importance of Colors on Customer’s Mood and Hunger
The importance of colors is prima-facie in our everyday life. Wondering how you can employ them in restaurant branding in India! Here’s how; colors also play a significant role in influencing our moods and hunger. You would be surprised to know about the close link between emotions and colors. Red color induces courage. Blue shows wisdom, yellow is for optimism, orange reflects fun, white stands for simplicity, purple represents luxury, etc. Similarly, colors influence hunger also.
Green color that represents nature helps in increasing appetite. Red is responsible for increasing blood pressure and excitement. Blue color reduces appetite. Yellow and orange also make people hungry. Brown, black, and grey do not promote appetite. One can use these colors in designing while restaurant branding in India. However, marketers use them to highlight light colors in contrast.
4. Key Features of Great Restaurant Branding in India
Restaurant branding claims a great deal of business acumen. The branding activity and strategy ride on the cuisines, the target market, the size of the market, the competitors, the trends of branding and concept, etc. The key attributes of first-rated branding and concept during restaurant branding in India are:
Concept
Brand identity
Logo design
Flow of story line
Content is the king
Use of apt colors and combinations
Interior decoration
5. Concept
The concept is the restaurant concept that comprises the vision, mission, values, and the across-the-board process to garner the ingredients and serve the food with creative presentation and plating. The concept is the phenomenal idea that encourages one to elaborate on it and take it further as an entrepreneurial initiative. It portrays all the steps of the restaurant branding in India.
Different Concepts work on different target markets for restaurants and cafes. Every concept is created with an idea in mind, the vision and mission & a cuisine you keen on.
6. Brand Identity
Establishing a brand identity is the premier step in restaurant branding. Good quality restaurant branding in India always concentrates on making the customers identifies the brand. It constitutes the color, restaurant logo design, taglines, name of the brand, etc. The name has the highest value. Many factors can inspire you to find out the name of the restaurant. It can be the place, theme, cuisine of the restaurant brand, etc.
One may also cherry-pick the name according to some personal preferences like somebody’s name. For instance, ‘Pizza Hut’ has pizza in its name. Try using colors that raise appetite. For instance, the logos of McDonalds, Starbucks, Bahama Eats, etc; have colorful logos. A logo must give the idea of business industry. For instance, ‘Burger King’ has the round shape in logo to represent burger. For instance, the tagline of ‘The Obrama’ tagline is ‘The Food for the Gods’ which means that they cook with purity. All these tools must replicate business philosophies while restaurant branding in India.
7. Restaurant Logo Design
Restaurant logo design is the exclusive structure, shape, symbol, or text associated with the proper noun or name of the restaurant. Logo designing is the soul of the whole activity of designing. A restaurant logo design is only present in the entire presentation of the restaurant branding in India. It should be unique, simple, original, and easily memorable with well-combined colors.
8. The Flow of the Storyline
Branding activity with a story becomes conquering to enthrall the consumers. Branding conveys the story related to your restaurant brand to the consumers with a right message a brand wants to communicate. The storyline of a restaurant during restaurant branding in India startles with answering the questions related to the brand or entity. How the brand came into existence? What does the brand serve? What efforts does the brand put in? The answers to these questions form a wonderful flow of storyline performing restaurant branding in India.
9. Content is the King
Content is the king yes, everything that a brand speaks out in a digital or a non-digital asset. It embraces all the text in articles, stories, captions, taglines, story etc. The brand communicates with their audience via 2 things – 1 content and 2 visuals. Even while compassing digital marketing and SEO during restaurant branding in India, Google esteems content as the King. Based on the distinctiveness of the content, Google provides ranking to the website with its crawler or spider.
The spider keeps going through the web, finds the keywords, checks the originality of the content and if it fulfills the parameters of uniqueness and SEO, the website or writ appears in top results. This has the best of the essence because people only check the top results on the search engine. Post inimitable content on Website in different sections like About us, Values, Vision, Mission, Blogs, etc.  
10. Use of Apt Colors and Combinations
As cited above, colors have a firsthand impact on Human Psychology. It’s noticeable that the lounge bars and discotheques often retain dark and flamboyant colors like black, blue, red, yellow, etc because people go there for gratification and not to devour much eatables. Similarly, at a restaurant, you may find other tender colors like green, yellow, orange, white, etc; in amalgamation. Therefore, you must plan for restaurant branding in India with eloquent color combinations. You may use dark and earthen colors to highlight them in contrast with other bright colors.
11. Restaurant Interior Design
The Restaurant interior design primarily suffices to justify the high price on the menu. Primarily the interior design must be in alignment with the restaurant concept. Interior embellishment changes the conduct and mood of a customer at a restaurant. With the kind of vibe, the interior and concept exert, the customer gives the orders and relishes the recipes. This is the magic of interior design. People do have a brilliant understanding of luxuries like the table settings, murals, wall paintings, furniture, dining table, lighting color combinations, the showpieces, and everything that is a part of the interior décor. Everything inside a restaurant highlights the efforts of restaurant branding in India.
12. Leaders in the Industry with Great Branding
The results of productive restaurant branding are inarguably evident. These are the thriving brands that have success with coherent branding and concept in India. These brands have a high level of integrity with feedback also. They take feedback for all the facets of the restaurant including menu designing, interior, creative presentation, and plating. Acting on the feedback as a part of restaurant branding in India makes the customers give positive feedback to their family, friends, neighbors, et al. This amplifies the room for their visits and the footfall of their acquaintances.
Behrouz biryani
Kebab-E-Ishq
Socials
Behrouz Biryani
Behrouz biryani is one of the most renowned examples of the most befitting restaurant branding in India. The logo has black color but the combination of black and yellow makes it effortlessly identifiable. The influence of black color becomes positive in creating a mighty conception of the restaurant brand. Black color signifies power and yellow has an applauding impact on appetite. It appeals to the niche market that loves delectable Biryanis of different flavors. The design of Behrouz Biryani has majestic scenery of a magnificent Palace in the dim sunlight and clouds passing by. Behrouz is a cloud kitchen and still well-known for its exceptional package designs and rigorous restaurant branding in India.
Kebab-e-Ishq
Kebab-e-Ishq is one of the most triumphant restaurants in cloud kitchens for its stately and luscious kebabs. Its emplacement is in the nexus of the financial capital of India, Mumbai. It is eminent in catering to authentically aromatic Mughlai flavored spicy food items. After eminent restaurant branding, they established two more brands. One serves Italian cuisine and the other one serves health-based dishes. Their expedition from a single-brand kitchen to becoming a multi-brand outlet has been remarkable.
Khar Social
Khar Social is a landmark example of intelligent branding and designing. The logo has a hash tag ‘#kharsocial’. Hashtag marketing claims brilliant results. With its homepage, it’s easy to recognize that Khar Social is a one of its kind. It promotes socialism and therefore, it’s present in its name. Its menu has interesting names in both ‘#eat’ and ‘#drnk’.
13. Achievements with Great Branding
Proficient branding strategies can help in getting victory over the four pillars of loyalty, credibility recognition, and consistency during restaurant branding in India. These attainments are exorbitant for every restaurant. The reward or results of targeted marketing effort go in 4 directions:
Recognition
Consistency
Credibility
Loyalty
Recognition
Massive branding activity dazzles all the departments and areas of a restaurant subsuming interior design, packaging, uniforms, marketing material, etc. The result of restaurant branding in India is that designs enrapture the people and they set higher expectations before they enter the restaurant.
Consistency
The major precept of restaurant branding in India is to preserve consistency in the whole campaign of branding activities. In the food & beverage industry, there are no sabbatical or public holidays or occasions. There are opportunities for acquiring double amount of the revenue on occasions. Therefore, the consistency in branding keeps in sustaining the rank on search engine. A brand attains a rank with regular posting. One may maintain consistency by posting daily, alternately, weekly or with any frequency. However, there must be regularity.
Credibility
Branding gives voice to an entity or a restaurant and it unveils itself as a personality with the name, identity, address, and value-added offerings. The full-scale process of restaurant branding in India prompts credibility for a restaurant brand. Credibility is faith and reliability that people start having in a brand after reading the content and looking at the visuals. A brand is a personality and it conveys messages through captions and taglines.
Loyalty
The next step is visiting restaurants enthusiastically and if the services, taste, and quality of food reach the level of credibility that was set while restaurant branding in India, the restaurant conquers loyalty as a bounty for maintaining consistency in branding and building credibility. This is the achievement of a restaurant brand owner.
14. Online Food Ordering/ Cloud Kitchens – Biggest Success with Good Branding
Wonders have taken place in the food & beverage industry in cloud kitchen sections with the apparatus of restaurant branding in India. Cloud kitchens are not a very senescent concept in India but they have touched the pinnacle merely in a decade and nothing seems to block its course. Cloud Kitchens have attracted investments not only from corporate investors but also from students, housewives and senior citizens as a way of life. Some examples with immense success rate are Behrouz Biryani, Kuku Chap Chap, EggoMogo, etc. Here’s 20 easy steps to start a cloud kitchen business.
How Does DNY Hospitality Help In Restaurant Branding?
Brand designing is a procedure to give definition to an idea and placing it in the mind of the target market or consumers in a specific shape. A brand is an image that is present as an impression in the minds of the customers. However, it is possible only when restaurant branding is of the top-shelf quality.  We can help you altogether during the campaign of restaurant branding in India. We have a full-fledged plan to make your idea a brand that you can accomplish perpetually. We first explain to you the importance of restaurant branding and then take the first step of brand identity. Here are all the steps:
Brand Identity
Restaurant Logo Design
Restaurant Packaging Design
Restaurant Theme
Uniform Design
Menu Design
Brand Identity
The identity of the brand is the first and foremost attempt to start restaurant branding in India. We note down all the unique selling points and values of the restaurant first and then make a branding and concept plan. This strategy works in favor of establishing the identity of the brand. Designing plays an important role in establishing the brand identity because it entails logo, name of the brand, selection of colors, etc. Our approach considers the factors influencing the mental makeup of the target market. It regards competitors’ strategies, background, culture, and other demographic factors related to the customers and consumers.
2. Restaurant Logo Design
Designing is a valuable and inventive activity that sets the path for creating an eternal and poignant first impression. Both the interior and exterior of the restaurant try to take the farthermost advantage of designing and entice the customers. If the exterior design is pitch-perfect and the customers have set foot into the restaurant, the interior embellishment must continue to communicate the values to the customer. The logo helps in brand identification to an elevated multitude. We furnish you Digital Marketing Services along with branding & designing until you accredit the designs. The restaurant branding in India for your brand will transpire according to your precedence to convey the restaurants’ overall philosophy. We are promethean designers in making all kinds of logos including text, shape, or symbol.
3. Restaurant Packaging Design
Restaurant package design plays the role of an ambassador for the brand. It has consummate information related to the restaurant as an entity. We use the finest quality material that precludes leakage. We offer a variety of restaurant packaging designs with different sizes and patterns. The designs on all kinds of packages have a logo that comprises brand identity. Like all other steps, we credit high value to this step during the campaign of restaurant branding in India.
4. Restaurant Theme
The restaurant theme backstops in brand identification and therefore we always suggest a restaurant theme. The restaurant themes have been an unbreakable part of the restaurant branding in India for ages. They are related to music, romance, casual dining. Its base can be cuisine, the vision of the restaurant, or any message that the restaurant brand wants to convey to society. For example, a South Indian or a North Indian Restaurant can have the theme of greenery because it supports the idea- ‘Save Environment’. Similarly, an Italian restaurant can have an Italian theme with Italian interior decoration, Italian masterpieces, Italian panache, etc. The restaurant theme differentiates brand recognition and brand identity during restaurant branding in India. However, it should be aberrant.
5. Uniform Design
If the restaurant theme does not include the uniforms of the staff members, we provide uniform designs as well. We take care of using the logo, required colors with appropriate texture, and the name or the initials of the restaurant while designing forms. We always design the uniforms as a part of restaurant branding in India campaigns for all our clients. Uniform designing gives a dignified mien. It conveys the devotedness to serve the customers’ and employees’ fidelity to the brand.
6. Menu Design
In menu design, we cover the garb of the menu, the sequence of the recipes, the placement of the names of the dishes, the pricing, the material used for the menu, etc. As a step before it, we also participate in the recipe development, SOP and MRP evaluations, presentation SOP’s, deciding categories for menu, pricing of menu items after calculating costs, hiring & training of the new staff members during the restaurant branding.
7. Importance of Restaurant Concept Design
The coverage of branding and concept during restaurant branding in India is a restaurant theme, menu, interior decoration of the dine-in space, creative presentation and plating, etc. One can design a restaurant concept after getting inspiration from family values of culture, availability of ingredients, the heritage of the city, town or country, cuisines of different places or regions, etc. Restaurant concept design gives a definition to the brand and it sets the pathway for implementing the operations. The restaurant branding in India creates an ambiance that triggers emotional delectation.
The ambience makes the people sit in the restaurant and spend time the way they want. The service provider for marketing and branding takes care of the size and adjustment of the logo on the entry door, different kinds of signboards, and message boards; for example, reception, menu boards, dustbin, restaurant, bar, restroom, smoke area, etc. The dining room is the center of attraction during restaurant branding in India, one must take special care of it to make it comfortable and attractive.
8. Layout in Designing
Layout is the configuration for the arrangement or placement of article, furniture, seating area, etc. The two factors driving the layout of the restaurant are the cuisines and the area available for the kitchen. The appropriate steps of restaurant branding in India the designs of the exterior always catch the eyes of potential customers, bringing them in and let them savor the services.
Conclusion
The concept development and restaurant branding in India is ready to the core after a thorough market research that results in top-of-the-line designs. A right Branding always pays off  and the story of branding correctly. The credit goes to none other than he idea that takes it to success. Its all about your decisiveness to keep consistency up which is the key factor to smash in the food & beverage industry.
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sakurauchiha2018 · 6 years
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The question
So @kairi-chan encouraged me to publish my writing on here. I’m by no means that great of a writer but I am passionate about it and my OTP. So here goes nothing! 
Words: 2697
Rating: K
I edited this from my FF one shot, it’s an idea that’s been popping up for a few weeks now. 
A gentle breeze blows through my long raven locks as my eyes stay closed, enjoying the peacefulness of our backyard. It’s become a daily ritual of mine to try and mediate before either Uchiha come home for the day. The first year adjusting to one another was difficult, Sakura would accidently set two plate settings instead of three and become flustered when she realized while Sarada was ecstatic at first but then she began to ask the questions that were inevitable. One afternoon while Sakura was working in the clinic Sarada began to question the massacre, it felt as if all the air from my body had been sucked out when she asked. Right away I wasn’t able to give her the complete truth but eventually the entire truth came to the surface.
Another breeze whips through and I notice my daughter’s chakra coming straight to me. I must’ve been too lost in thought to notice her coming, my eyes don’t open but I can visualize her giving me the same curious look before joining me on the warm grass. A long intake of breath comes from her before the silence is interrupted.
“Papa, can I ask you something?” Raising my left brow, I crack my eye open slightly to see a nervous expression covering her small face. To me I see an exact replica of her mother, Sakura’s soft features and the Uchiha coloring, two dark eyes observe me closely before her lips press into a thin line. How could she ever doubt that Sakura was her mother? They share most of their tendencies and have the same unhealthy habit of working until exhaustion.
“How did you know that you were in love with Mama?” Her words cause my eyes to open fully and my brows raise from the question. Shouldn’t this be something she discusses with Sakura? From our few years together Sarada must know that I’m not one to convey my emotions in a typical manner, her curiosity must’ve gotten the better of her.
Loving Sakura came as a second nature to me after she joined me on my journey of atonement, her reassurance and love helped me heal wounds that were buried deep inside. The cycle of hatred had almost consumed me but with Naruto and Sakura’s help it almost vanished, there are some days that I sit and worry that our daughter may fall into the same dark pool, but I know Sakura’s spirit has been passed to Sarada. There were days before leaving Konoha were Sakura had sparked some warmth in my heart causing me to protect her from any enemy. During the Chunin exams I remember the pure anger I felt after seeing her beaten and disheveled from those Sound ninja. If she wouldn’t have stopped me I might’ve done something that I regretted. Then there were days when she was impossibly annoying.
“As a genin your mother was annoying. Sakura was always pronouncing her feelings for me and trying her best to impress me with her looks. A childish rumor spread throughout the academy saying that I like girls with long hair, tch.” Every morning in the academy her and Ino would flaunt and argue over who I would fall for, but at the time I wanted nothing to do with either of them. Ino has always been aggravating and it only got worse when Sakura and I started dating. Then when she was placed on my team I realized there was no escaping it.
“I knew your mother’s strength was nothing compared to mine or Naruto’s. So my reaction was to always jump in and protect her, to this day I still do it even though she can handle any enemy. On our first official mission, I protected her and Naruto. At one point I had thought that I was dead.” That’s when Sakura was crying over me, for a moment I remembered what it was like to have someone cry for me. That someone cared whether I lived or dies, that someone would truly miss me if I were gone. Waking up to see her pink locks sticking to the tear-soaked cheeks caused my heart to flutter, a strange feeling but yet oddly familiar feeling of love began to form. It wasn’t a romantic love at first and at the time I never thought it would grow into this.
“She reminded me that someone would miss me if I did pass on. Team 7 continued to progress, and our bonds became stronger. There were days when I thought avenging the Uchiha name could be subsided and pushed to the back of my mind, that was until our Chunin exams.” A shiver runs down my spine and Sarada’s eyes lock onto me with confusion and worry. Sakura has told her a great deal of our past but some details were left out so I could properly describe them. We didn’t and couldn’t hide the fact that I did abandon the village in pursuit of power, but the beginning stages are still muddy to her.
“During our Chunin exams, Orochimaru planted the curse mark onto my shoulder. Naruto was also severely injured in the fight which left your mother to protect all of us. I wasn’t awake for the beating, but when I saw your mother in the state she was in something snapped. To see someone precious to me in that condition caused my anger to take over. Your mother was able to bring me out of it, but that’s when she became a second thought almost.” A pang of guilt hits my chest. Sakura has always been so forgiving of any harm that I caused her but I’m herder on myself than she is. I will spend every day of my life making it up to her and proving to her that I truly do love her. Another breeze causes both of us to take in a deep breath of fresh, spring air.
“Then Gaara attacked when he was a child. Mama told me about her standing in front of him while possessed by Shikaku and how she was trapped in the sand. Lord Seventh also told me that you made him rescue Mama and get her to safety, that you wouldn’t lose the one’s precious to you ever again.” A chuckle comes from my lips and I straighten out my tightening back. Leave it to those two, Naruto wasn’t supposed to ever tell Sakura the truth.
“Then you saved her from the sand after Gaara was defeated. But instead of admitting it, you lied to her and said that Lord Seventh saved her. I was told that’s when everything went downhill from there. Not too long after the destruction of the leaf you left in order to gain power, leaving Mama behind.” An image of that night pops to the front of my mind and I have to swallow the lump in my throat. It seems that Sakura told her most of the story then, but not how it plays into how I learned that I was in love with the annoying pink haired woman.
“Ah. That night your mother begged me to stay and offered anything she could to make me happy. She even offered to go with me and help me with my revenge, but this was something I couldn’t let her do. That night I told her Thank You, which has morning meaning than she originally thought.”
Sarada looks at me again and leans back on her elbows to relax, knowing that we weren’t close to done with the truth. She deserves the truth and an inside look into my old self.
“Your mother and I had a few run ins before the Great Ninja War took place. At one point we both tried to kill each other, my mind was so clouded by the truth of your Uncle that there was no saving me. If Kakashi and Naruto hadn’t been there…I don’t know what would’ve happened.” This comes as a shock to my teenage daughter and a flicker of red sparks in her eyes. Holding my lone hand up to calm her, that there was more to the story than that. Moving my fingers up to pinch the bridge of my nose, I focus and Sakura’s chakra is nowhere close. The last thing I want is for her to interrupt the story halting all courage I have at this moment.
“I wasn’t myself at that point, hatred had almost swallowed me whole but there was a slight hope for me. During the war I decided to help the village and I noticed your mother first, she was the most improved of us. She came from the weak, crying genin to a woman would could turn a mountain into rubble and heal any injury as easily as breathing. Sakura wasn’t going to stand in the background anymore and she proved that once her Yin Seal was activated. She even had the guts to charge at Madara hours after he had almost killed me.” That woman was reckless and impulsive, trying to show her worth to the three of us. We all knew that Sakura had earned her title of Sanin. The way she helped pull me from the desert realm was shocking, I figured Naruto would be the one to help Obito. I’m glad I was able to make it in time before she collapsed onto the ground. Even in the time of war, we were able to share a silent moment together and I knew that her feelings were still there. Some part of me had hoped they were but I was angry as well, I could never deserve her.
“But once we had sealed Kaguya away and close to restoring the world, I made my decision to try and eliminate the one bond that needed to be broken. Naruto was the person that I needed to beat but before we were able to escape your mother tried to pull me back into the light. For the second time she claimed her love for me, this time my body language gave me away. Her words affected me more than anyone knows, there was a sliver of hope for me after all, but I couldn’t let it. Annoying is what I called her before placing her under a genjutsu.”
I let my head drop down to observe the green blades moving with the air. When I casted that jutsu the point was to incapacitate her, not to injure of harm her. Even then Sakura was someone that I could never cause harm to, I was trying to protect her even while in the darkness. Naruto didn’t appreciate my intentions and Kakashi even told me Sakura was suffering from loving me, something I never asked her to do. If loving me was causing her to suffer then she should’ve stopped. Now though I wouldn’t want her with anyone else.
“After my final battle with Naruto, your mother found us and I apologized for everything. Every ounce of pain that I had caused her, which she forgave me but I hadn’t earned it yet. After everyone was released from the Infinite Tsukuyomi, we were taken back to the village where your mother took care of the two of us. Eventually we were able to repair some of our broken bond although we both knew that it was different than others.” Sakura would fall asleep next to my bed and I couldn’t help but study her sleeping form. Years had passed since I had taken a good long look at her, she had matured into an attractive woman, but her heart is what I noticed more. Ignoring her own well-being, she would spend her days healing the injured and sick just to fall asleep in the uncomfortable chair at my beside. To this day she has that terrible habit, annoying.
If I had to look back on it now I’ve always held a soft spot for Sakura Haruno, who is now Sakura Uchiha. She’s always been able there for me with enough love for the both of us. At first it was difficult for me to let her in and see the twisted truth of my clan. It almost felt like I would taint her pure heart with the darkness of the Uchiha but once again she surprised me. Sakura cried for my family, she prayed for them, the stained reputation of our clan wasn’t existent to her. Even though she never met my family, she loved them because I loved them. While she was pregnant with Sarada she would rub her stomach and speak of my parents. My entire being would swell with pride and love for the woman, it still does every time my eyes land on the Uchiha fan on her back.
“Annoying, is that your favorite way to describe Mama?” I can’t help the laughter that echoes through the small space. It seems that it was my favorite way to describe her, at first it was an insult but now there’s more meaning behind it. I found it annoying that I wanted to focus my attention on her instead of avenging my clan, it annoyed me how I would wake from a dream filled sleep after seeing a blur of pink and green.
“Sarada, let me ask you this…If something was always on your mind and it interfered with your goals, wouldn’t that be annoying? Just imagine wanting to abandon your goals just to have that something, wouldn’t that be annoying as well?” The shock on my daughter’s face was enough to tell me her answer. Lately I’ve notice how she uses the same words to describe her blonde haired teammate, it’s the same way I use to refer to my wife. Even though I can’t completely accept it, my daughter is growing and maturing.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is this, I’ve always held a spot for your mother in my heart. It took longer than she wanted but I knew that I was love with her when I couldn’t be without her. The long days on the road away from home were harder after spending time with her again. Once I was able to figure out my feelings I didn’t waste a second. To me, there’s only ever been your mother and no one could ever replace her in my eyes.”
A wide smile comes to her face and it sends me into a flashback of a genin Sakura, my heart warms at the memory. That smile saved me more times that I care to admit. A flicker of chakra catches my attention and signals that Sakura is home from her shift at the clinic. Sarada’s eyes meet her first and she jumps from the spot on the ground as I slowly move to stand and face her. Her bright smile shines across the yard and every fiber of her being is beyond happy, something I understand completely.
“Yes, annoying.” I mutter under my breath as I look over the two. A wave of pride rushing through my chest.  
Ten years away from her made me appreciate her even more, not a day went by that I didn’t think of the two waiting for me return. Most nights I would dream of pink and green, some days while I walked in silence I could hear her laughter in the breeze. There were times I could imagine her lecturing me, especially when I would get injured or skipped a meal. ‘You need to take better care of yourself Sasuke-kun.’ How many times had I heard that on our journey?  Memories of our short time together as a married couple would play over when the nights were sleepless, thankful for my family bloodline that allowed me to live them vividly. No matter where I was, no matter what I was doing I knew she was here raising our daughter waiting for me.
“Sasuke-kun?” The woman questions from our porch, a hand placed on her hip questioning my strange behavior. The corner of my lips lifted slightly as my feet carried me to the two watching me. Always worrying about me…
Ahhh....so nervous to post this 😬 I hope everyone enjoyed it. There’s a Sakura/Sarada version too 
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jeonggukingdom · 7 years
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Hello! Can I please request 35 & 50 for the Halloween Drabble Game with Namjoon, preferably smut? :) Thank you and much love ❤️❤️
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Prompt: “You don’t fear me? Well, I will make you a believer tonight” + “How did you know where the spare key was?”Pairing: Namjoon x ReaderGenre: Smut, vampire!AUCount: 6.146  words
warnings: mention of blood, graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, dom-sub relationship, use of blindfolds and bondage practices, oral sex, dirty talk, cum play, orgasm denial.
Author’s note: I’m going to dedicate this to @justanotherbangtanblog because she’s always there for me when I’m being obnoxious and whiney, because she always listens and encourages me and also because I lover her very much and I also love to hurt her greatly with Namjoon smuts.Also, if you’d like a visual reference of the OC Halloween costume, you can see it: here - and for Namjoon’s costume you can go: here.
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The inevitable chain reaction instigated by one, simple, quick, decision is what lead you to this very moment. Frantic bodies basked in moonlight that seek heat into each others embraces; tongues that slide against each other and shivers that run down spines in both excitement and coldness; the silence of the night only interrupted by the sounds of kisses shared on the verge of a deserted garden that secludes the old hovel from the hundreds of bodies mingling together in the frat-house at the end of the road.
The dimmed light outside the abandoned house flickers intermittently casting dancing shadows on the concrete that you’re bound to deem ominous just because, for less than two more hours, it’s the Halloween night and everything seems to turn frightening and lugubrious when surrounded by dark costumes and gloomy decorations.
“I’m going to freeze my ass off,” you mutter under your breath as the little warmness his body could provide is ripped away from you by the steps he takes in the dim light of the porch.
“Plus, this place gives me the creeps,” your eyes dart upwards and take in again the somber appearance of the small building: windows shut by wood and greasy with dirt and dust; broken glasses on the porch that are nothing but the sign of vandals and drug-addicts using the place as either an amusement park or a refugee; the looming fall of the ragged chimney on the rooftop.
A shiver runs down your body and covers your skin in goosebumps that have nothing to do with the pleasure of kissing plump lips that taste like honey.
You curse under your breath as the prickly gust of wind hits your way too exposed skin, your arms embrace your body in a vain attempt to keep yourself warm in the tiny red polka dress that was supposed to make you look like a sexy version of Minnie Mouse, but that is now providing as much coverage as a bathing suit would have.
“Is the mighty ____ afraid?” he asks with a provocative smile that makes his dimples appear and your heart warm up with an affection that shouldn’t be blooming there already - this night being only your second date, if a party can be considered as such, and the rest of your relationship based on nothing more than mere platonic conversations held through messages and hasty phone calls.
You bite your bottom lip and a stream of fear coils down your stomach making your insides clench. Indeed, you are afraid, but you’re also far too proud to admit it.
“Of course not,” you reply, your eyes fixed on the ground as the obvious lie escapes your mouth in a swift whisper, “Just hurry up before I freeze to bloody death.”
His wide back is what your eyes meet as you return your whole attention to him and it happens to be just in time to watch him jump on the porch’s fence and reach the roof with his arm.
“What the hell are you doing?” you ask while moving forward, your arms grabbing onto his jacket to pull him down before someone sees him or, worse, he breaks his neck by falling off the rotten wood rail.
He turns around and you’re met with the most gorgeous smile you ever witnessed in your entire life and for an entire second, you seem to forget who you are or where you are.
“Got it,” he exclaims triumphantly and your gaze falls upon a rusty little key held between his fingers.
He swiftly jumps back on the ground right next to you and you’re far too preoccupied with the question pending on your lips to notice he has grabbed your hand, opened the door, and successfully walked you inside the abandoned house rumored to be haunted by ghosts ever since its owners died there seventy years ago.
“How…?” your eyebrows knit together and finally you outspoken the doubt clouding up your mind, “How did you know where the spare key was?”
The door closes behind your back with a soft click that for some reason seems to echo in your head like a thunder would have and the way he turns toward you, a glacial smile upon his lips, makes all the fear coiled in your stomach expand and devour your entire being.
“Well,” his deep voice crawls on your skin and covers it in goosebumps that aren’t as enjoyable as the ones he created with the soft touches of his mouth and the languid strokes of his tongue, “That’s one of the perks of living here.”
You do not know if it’s the bloody Halloween night’s fault but his words sound more sinister than they should and they do nothing but accentuate the fear permeating your body. Thoughts as: it could be just a joke, maybe he has come here before, maybe this is where he takes all the girls to; they do not form in your mind for more than an instant because there is simply something in his eyes that tells you he means every single word he says.
“You live…here?” you look around the evidently abandoned place and take in the dusty floor and unattained furniture that makes it perfectly clear no human being has lived here for a very long time.
He smiles at you, tilting his head to the side as to ponder why you’re so doubtful about his statement and then he follows your gaze and a little laugh escapes his mouth.
“You see,” his eyes fix upon you yet again and his gaze is so intense it makes your legs feel like jelly and your heart rampant in your chest, “When you’ve lived for a good old century, you tend to stop caring about very futile and materialistic things.”
Your eyebrows knit together and a pout forms on your mouth as you struggle to get a grasp of what his words entail.
His hand strokes your cheek delicately and his pearly white smile comes into view, successfully dissipating all the fear in your stomach as if it was ice under the most blinding sun.
His smile twists into something sinister as his face inches forward and his nose touches yours.
“This is the moment where you try to run and start screaming, petal.”
He smirks upon your lips and his tongue darts out to lick your mouth suggestively.
“Why would I run away from you?” you ask in a whisper as he pushes you back until you softly hit the closed door behind your back.
He snickers and locks his gaze in yours, his mouth slowly opening to reveal two perfectly shaped canines that have nothing mundane about them.
Your eyes widen in surprise and a rush of adrenaline sparks up your body turning your skin feverish as he answers the question that fear has trapped in your throat.
“I’m what humans call vampire,” his voice turns cold as he spits out the monstrous name that was forced upon him.
It is something akin to survival instinct that keeps you from doing exactly what he was expecting from you - which also happens to be the most rational and natural thing a human like you should do in such a situation.
“What?” he murmurs, his brows knitting together as he studies your face, looking for a hint of the fear that is strangling you up from within, “You don’t fear me?”
He shakes his head in disbelief, clearly pondering whether you’re just the stupidest human he has ever encountered or the bravest.
“I don’t believe you,” you whisper, tilting your chin up faking a courage and an assuredness you do not have.
“Well,” he interjects, his nose nuzzling on your neck to breathe in your scent, “I’ll make you a believer tonight.”
And it happens just like that, as the clock strikes onto the eleventh hour: his perfectly shaped teeth sunk into your skin and rupture the soft flesh until blood is trickling down your neck and into his parted mouth.
His wintry hands grab your waist to keep you steady in his arms as he ravishes you whole, his fingers leaving purple-shaded marks onto the delicate skin as a clear reminder of the unholy sin that he’s committing in the abandoned foyer of a haunted house.
A soft whimper escapes your mouth as your body starts to tremble with the utter pleasure that, inexplicably, comes along with the soft pain expanding from your neck up to your jaw and down to your chest - a delectation that you deem as the nefarious sign that you either had way too many raspberry mojitos or you just lost all your rationality altogether. As you close your eyes whilst biting your bottom lip, it becomes clear it is probably a fine mixture of the both.
His lips kiss the broken and bruised skin, taking all the delectable pain away, and he meets your hooded gaze with stupor across his features and pleasure inside his dark irises.
A rivulet or your blood escapes from his lips and glides along his chin till he catches it with his thumb and brings it back to his mouth, sucking on his finger whilst staring at you.
“You taste like heaven, petal.” His raspy voice sends a shiver down your spine and you gulp audibly as your heart somersaults between your lungs.
His hand moves from your hips to grasp your chin and tilt it upwards so he cant take a better look at your face.
“You know,” he interjects, his head tilting sideways as he pouts in contemplation, “By now you should be screaming or begging me for mercy.”
He inches forward and brushes your nose with his own, his soft breath hitting your lips as he does so.
“But are you, perhaps” he touches your lips in a brief contact and you grasp his white shirt with your fists, “Enjoying it?”
A shaky breath escapes your mouth and you close your eyes whilst gulping down into a mere attempt to calm yourself.
“If you wanted to kill me you would have done it already.”
He smirks upon your mouth before licking his lips, almost as if he was savoring the taste of you.
“What would you say?” his soft breath hits your ear as he whispers those luscious words that function only as a prelude to what his body pressed against your own suggests, “About starting back from where we left?”
It takes only a small ’yes’ and a little whimper from your part for him to crash on your lips with a ferocity far greater than the one he used on your neck. He steals your breath away and parts your lips with his inviting tongue.
The lewd sounds of your heated kiss fill the emptiness of the dark foyer and you lose yourself into the exquisite pleasure that saturates you whole.
Your hands reach behind his neck to pull him closer and he growls into your mouth, his teeth glissading on your tongue before puncturing it hard enough to tear the muscle open and let the blood flood between your lips.
The pain is shortly subdued by a wave of pleasure as he deepens the kiss, his hips rocking against your own as he gets drunk on your piquancy.
When he leaves your lips, you’re left with the taste of iron in your mouth and the loud ringing of your ears which you’re not sure if it’s due to the blood loss or the great excitement building between your legs.
“Wait here,” he orders and completely disappears from your sight in nothing but thin air, leaving you flabbergasted and confused.
Your palm glides on the wooden door in search for support and, when you feel steady enough on your feet, you take a few tentative steps towards the hallway and the big stairs that undoubtedly lead to the master bedroom.
A glacial hand grips your wrist and turns you around as if you were a leaf under the strongest wind. Two black pupils meet your gaze and a snarl escapes his mouth in what you assume is nothing but a warning.
“I told you to stay put and you will do as I say.”
You quickly nod in response, gulping down the fear trapped in your throat.
“I want to hear you say it.”
He traps your chin into his fingers again so there is no way for you to escape the deepness of his eyes and, with a feeble breath, you do exactly as he says.
“I will do everything you tell me to.”
His grip on your face tightens and your eyes water in pain.
“For a smart mundane girl, you’re being quite ill-mannered, petal.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, what?” He growls upon your lips and your heart misses a beat before going rampant in your chest.
“I’m sorry, Master.”
“Good girl.”
The smile you’re rewarded with erases all the pain in your jaw and fills you up with glee.
“Come with me.”
He grabs your wrist and you quickly follow his rapid steps on the stairs and into the dark hallway - the ominous appearance of the walls and the paintings hanged there, the greasy and torn carpets on the floor and the putrid smell of decaying wood, do nothing to calm your breathing or your heart.
When you step into his bedroom, though, you’re met with a luminous ambient and the sound of crackling fire in the furthest corner of the room.
Your body welcomes the new found warmth with a pleased sigh and you wonder if this is why he left you in the foyer earlier.
Your eyes dart around the room and take in the seemingly freshly-painted white walls; the mixture of modern furniture and the baroque-like curtains on the large window in the corner; the grandiosity of the huge chandelier at the center of the room, right above the canopy bed decorated with silk red covers and black cushions.
The whole room smells like sage and citrus incense - a flavor you’re far too familiar with, it being you’re absolute favorite to diffuse in your own campus room.
“Is the room of your liking?” he asks on your ear, his cold breath sending shivers down your spine and fully awakening the butterflies in your stomach.
“Yes, Master.”
He smirks on your jaw before playfully biting down the soft skin there - crimson petals spreading on your cheeks at the affectionate gesture.
His fingers brush against your shoulders and grab the hems of your dress, slowly gliding it down your body to expose the black laced underwear underneath.
The dress falls on the floor and his hands grab your waist to turn you around and fully take in your half-naked body.
“I want you to keep the heels on” he murmurs against your neck before placing a kiss there. You softly hum whilst tilting your head backward as to grant him more access, your eyes closed in pure ecstasy.
His plump lips move down towards your clavicles and his hands unclasp your bra so he can have full access to your breasts.
He smirks on one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth and sucking hard on it, his other hand caressing the other breast in a soothing yet possessive manner.
You whimper in his embrace and he rocks his hips on yours to show you just how much he’s enjoying what your body has to offer.
“Can I…” you breathe out before sighing loudly at the sensation of his tongue rolling around your fully-hardened nipple, “Can I undress you too, Master?”
He snickers at the boldness of your requests and grabs the hem of your panties to drag them down and let them fall right on top of your flimsy dress.
You open your eyes at your new found nudity and catch him staring at you, bottom lip trapped under his teeth.
“Aren’t you full of surprises?” he mumbles under his breath as his hand glides down from your breast to your stomach and further more, to your sex.
As soon as he touches your labia, you quiver in desperate need for more.
“You’re dripping wet, petal.”
His hand leaves your sex and you whimper in disapproval at the sudden loss.
“You may undress me, now.”
It is not something he has to repeat twice for, the exact instant the words leave his mouth, you’re hands are already dragging down his emerald and golden jacket, the material soft under your fingertips.
“Did you wear this when you were a human, Master?” you ask in a whisper, curiosity beating the excitement between your legs.
“I did, yes.”
He concedes his reply but does not elaborate and you take it as a hint he does not wish to remember the times he could still walk under the sunlight.
Your fingers brush against his white shirt and unsteadily undo each of his buttons until his chest is completely exposed.
The toned skin of his abdomen contracts as your fingers brush against it, the softness and golden hue of it almost taking you by surprise and leaving you wondering how it would’ve looked like glistening in the sun.
With a shaky breath - furthermore disclosing your excitement - you grab the hem of his pants and slowly start dragging them down to meet the mass of your clothes mingled together on the floor.
Inch after inch, his skin gets uncovered and you’re quick to realize he’s not wearing any form of garment under his pants. You gulp audibly as the fabric surpasses his hips and the full length of his hard-on gets released from its confinement.  
“Stop.” He says before you can even think about encompassing his member in your hand.
“Come with me.”
Just like before, you quickly follow him without emitting so much as a sound, not even daring to pose a question, and you let him blindly drag you to the bed and onto his leg - your legs spread around him so he can support you on his toned thigh, your chest firmly pressed against his own, and his lips attached to your mouth into a searing kiss that makes your head spin and your lungs contract in lack of oxygen.
His thigh flexes involuntarily under your naked, wet, core and you can’t help the whimper that escapes your mouth nor the small rocking of your hips that desperately demand more friction.
“Did I say you could move?” he asks, leaving your mouth to stare at you with the same glacial eyes he reserved for you when you disobeyed him downstairs.
“No.” The whimper that escapes your mouth is as helpless as you feel at his reprehend - the feeling of being scolded as a disobedient child into a candy store making your heart ache.
“No, what?” He growls against your mouth, his hand grasping your chin almost painfully so you cannot break the eye contact even if you want to.
“No, Master.”
He releases the hold on your face and for a long second he stares at you, deep in thought, and you can’t help the shiver that comes with his intense scrutiny.
“I think I should teach you a lesson.” He blatantly affirms, his hands grabbing your waist to lift you up and gently drop you onto the mattress.
He climbs on top of you, forcing your back to touch the soft silky material of the covers and there’s something so feral about his every movement you do not dare to question him or resist him.
Your head hits the velvety black cushion and he grabs both of your wrists to lift them up and, soon you realize, binding them to the bed-stand. The ropes feel smooth against your skin and you trace your fingers on the small inches you can reach. The position is not uncomfortable in the slightest, though you can already imagine the dull pain that will come with straining your arms into such a position after a while. You try to tug on them to find out how much room for movement they provide and the fiber reddens your skin quite instantly.
“Do not move, or you will hurt yourself.” He instructs, tying the knot on top of your head and testing out its resistance.
“Choose a word.”
You blink at him, your mind totally blank at the request you’re unsure how to respond to.
“I need a safe word for you to use whenever something bothers you, makes you uncomfortable or starts hurting too much.” He tucks a strand of hair between your ear, “I won’t stop unless you use it. Do you understand?”
You nod in understanding, your heartbeat increasing each and every second more, so much so it feels like it’s going to explode soon.
“So?”
“Cloud,” you whisper, saying out loud the very first word that came to mind.
“I’m going to put a blindfold on you,” his tone is gentle and soothing and it dissipates easily all your fears and doubts.
The blindfold is quite soft against your skin and it forces your eyes to close shut - the knot he ties behind your head tight enough to let it stay in place for the rest of the night but still loose enough for you not to feel too constricted.
As soon as your head falls back on the cushion, his lips find their way back to yours and you don’t know if it’s the fact that one of your senses was rendered completely useless or not, but his mouth feels like unadulterated heavenly fire and you find yourself wishing it would never end. But his lips eventually do leave your mouth and they attach to every inch of skin they can reach: your jaw, your neck, your collarbones and slowly after, your breasts.
His mouth opens on your stomach and his tongue leaves a trail of open-mouthed kisses and saliva onto your skin until he reaches your belly button and, further more, your core.
Your hips involuntarily arch towards him and for a long second you expect him to scold you again but he simply moves forward, leaving your sex untouched yet again.
His lips kiss the soft skin of your inner thigh and you tremble in excitement, already foretasting the moment his canines will bite down the flesh and take a bit more of the lifeblood you can provide him.
“You taste like strawberry honey,” he whispers on your skin, his tongue licking the flesh as he grabs your thigh with both hands, his nose inhaling deeply the sweet scent he described as your own and you wish nothing but to touch his hair now, let your fingers get lost into his locks while he kisses and bites down the skin and drink from you, lost into his own world.
Your head falls on the cushion and your eyes roll back at the undiluted pleasure that pervades you.
It is only when your ears start to ring and you feel like you could lose your senses in a matter of few seconds that he lets go of your leg and stops draining you down.
Your chest heaves up and down rapidly and he strokes your body almost lovingly, trying to bring back the warmth you now realize has left your limbs due to the blood loss.
Time stops making sense and every second starts to feel like a whole minute or even an entire day. You’re not sure anymore of where you are or when all of this is taking place - or even if it is real and not a dream induced by alcohol.
But ultimately, as his mouth finally finds the center of your arousal, everything else dissipates into nothingness.
His tongue licks your labia, scooping up some of your juices with each stroke of his sinful muscle and you continuously arch your back, silently begging him for more now that you have his undivided attention right where you need it the most.
He sucks hard on your clitoris and you whimper loudly, your abdomen contracting at the pleasure flaring up in your abdomen.
“Do you like it, petal?” He asks, his breath hitting the wet skin in a purposeful way to make you shiver and whimper more.
“Yes, Master” you whisper in a shaky breath, “Please don’t stop, Master.”
He attaches his mouth onto your clitoris and sucks hard on the bundle of nerves, his fingers sliding inside your core one after one with incredible ease.
Soon enough he’s filling you whole, fisting you rapidly until you’re reduced to a whimpering mess.
“You cannot come until I tell you to.”
You cry out in response, the desperate need of release becoming unbearable with each and every stroke of his devilish hands.
“Fuck my hand, petal.” He growls, halting his movements, “Let me see how needy you are for your Master’s touch.”
And oh, do you follow his orders. Your hips push down on his hand with frantic speed, the overwhelming sensation of his fingers and his tongue working wonders on you too much to bear. Your walls contract and you’re sure you’re going to come in the span of a few seconds, of just a few more strokes. And then his hand leaves your sex and you’re left contracting on thin air.
Your bottom lip quivers at the orgasm denial and a tear rolls down your cheek in utter frustration.
“Not yet.”
He kisses your temple and strokes your cheek in an attempt to soothe your nerves and only when your breathing slows down he dares to leave your side. It takes a few second for you to realize he’s completely gone and panic shoots through you, a desperate scream of his name escaping your lips as you fight against the ropes blocking your hands.
“Shh, I’m right here, petal.” He whispers in your ear and your muscles relax almost instantly.
His lips touch yours and you share another kiss, one that is sweet and full of promises for the very near future and you willingly concede yourself to his loving care.
“Open your mouth for me, petal.”
You do not question his instruction and you open it as wide as you can, your tongue flat against your bottom teeth, unsure of what to expect.
It’s the taste of precum that gives you a sense of what is going to happen very soon, and you immediately hum against his cock knowing oh-to-well how the vibrations will be affecting him.
His hand grabs your hair and you take it as a sign you can hollow your cheeks and bob your head on his full-hardened length.
Your tongue dances around the tip of his cock, teasing his head until he whimpers loudly and encourages you to continue with your ministrations. You drink up all the little noises he emits, letting them guide you towards what he likes the most and how to please him right.
His fist on your hair tightens and you’re forced to halt your movements as he starts rocking his hips against your mouth. He sets the pace for himself and shortly your eyes start to water and you feel like you might choke on him.
“You feel so good, petal.” He growls, resisting the urge to keep fucking himself just like that to allow you to breathe.
You feel your saliva dripping down your chin and you take in a long two breathes before his tongue traps your own and he kisses you almost desperately. A clash of teeth and tongues and swollen lips.
“I want all of you.”
He roughly grabs your hips and guides you down to meet his member, your saliva spread all over it functioning as lubricant as he fills you up inch by inch until he’s balls in inside of you.
His movements are sinuous but firm and as the pleasure fills you both he starts becoming rougher and rougher, his speed increasing with each and every stroke.
The lewd sound of skin against skin drives you absolutely crazy and as his momentum accelerates to a speed no human could even dream to achieve, you’re reduced to a screaming mess.
Your pleasure builds up quickly in your abdomen, your hips moving desperately against his own as his fingers stimulate your clitoris.
“I…” you scream loudly, your back arching forward, the straining of the ropes becoming a dull consistent pain at the back recess of your mind, “I’m gonna…”
It is right when your vision starts turning white that he stops moving inside of you and leaves you unsatisfied yet again.
This time a sob escapes your mouth and you’re reduced to actual tears - your bottom lip quivers helplessly at the pleasure denial and he has to kiss and cradle you for a long time before you’re even capable of uttering a single word.
His fingers brush against your entrance and your walls immediately contract, the need for release rendering you desperate and needy.
“I’m going to fuck you senseless,” he whispers in your ear and slides inside of you, quickly filling you up to the brim.
His movements are slower now, more controlled, yet still rough and firm, hitting precisely you’re most sensitive spot.
He builds his speed second after second, giving you the time to stretch around him and not crumble into pieces under his touch.
“More, please, Master.” You beg in a broken whisper and he picks up his speed, quickly restoring his deadly momentum. You’re taken to the brim of cumming again in the span of mere minutes and this time the fear of getting denied again makes you scream your plea.
“Please… please, Master.”
You wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to still pick up speed but he does and oh, your body starts to quiver so deliciously you think you’ll die if he won’t let you come this time.
“Cum, petal, cum.”
Your vision turns completely white, your ears ringing loudly as a deafening scream escapes your mouth and steals your breath away.
You fill him cum inside of you and milking his release out yet you don’t have an ounce of strength left to even acknowledge his presence right on top of you.
You feel like losing your self on cloud nine and it’s only when you’re freed from your restraints and you’re able to see again that you realize you just had the best sex of your entire life.
His arms engulf your trembling body and hold you tight in place - his fingers get lost inside your locks and his lips kiss softly your temple every now and then until your breathing calms down and your body relaxes against his own.
“You know, petal?” He brushes your nose against your own and closes his eyes as a sigh escapes his mouth, “In all these years I’ve lived on this shallow Earth, you’re only the second one who ever stayed.”
His confession leaves you baffled but you don’t have time to pry into what his words entailed for he bites down onto his finger and lets the blood cascade on all the wounds his teeth created.
You blink your eyes as utter magic happens right before you: every little bite, every little scratch, disappear as if they were never there to begin with.
“Here,” he offers you his wounded finger and you look at him perplexed.
“What happens if I drink it?”
“You’ll feel less tired and more present to yourself, but…” he trails off and you can’t help the question that rapidly leaves your mouth.
“But?”
“If you die within the next twenty-four hours, you’ll comeback as one of my kind.”
It takes a few seconds for his words to sink in and you don’t know yourself exactly what pushes you towards his finger but you encompass his wounded digit in your mouth and drink up his crimson blood. The taste of iron hits the back of your throat and you almost gag on it - the thought of someone not only surviving but even enjoying such foul taste incomprehensible for your mundane taste buds.
“You stopped shivering.” He observes, still caressing your head in his own version of aftercare,  “Good.”
You’d want for this moment to endlessly stretch until the moment to part your ways never comes but it does not and it’s him the first to acknowledge your need to return to your mundane life.
“The sun is going to be up soon and I’ll have to sleep.”
He leaves your body and quickly dresses up in last night’s clothes, leaving you cold and disheartened on the bed.
Slowly you pick yourself up and prepare for your walk of shame with dozens of other college students that spent a crazy rough night out just like you - well, not exactly like you.
He accompanies you at the door and he’s about to close it behind your back when the question hanging on your tongue gets finally voiced out.
“Will I ever see you again?” you ask in a whisper, turning around to look at him in what could quite possibly be the last time. He looks breathless just standing there - his left shoulder leaning on the door, his wide and naked chest and the ruffled hair on his head that give away what was consumed behind those four decadent walls.
“That, petal, is up for you to decide.”
Your heart leaps in your chest at the possibility of seeing the impossible man standing before you once again, and a smile spreads on your features at the mere thought. You know it’s not a rational thought nor something you should indulge in, for he is immortal and you’re on the exact opposite spectrum for, your life is, by definition, both frail and brief.
You bite down on your bottom lip as you struggle to gather up the courage to ask one last question before you go. But eventually, you do.
“The other girl you mentioned… The one that stayed,” his gaze turns icy cold in an instant at the sole mention of her existence, “What happened to her?”
Pain shoots through every crevice of his body and you can see him quivering as memories of her quite clearly flash before his very eyes.
“She came back.”
The answer leaves you flabbergasted until he closes his eyes and exhales loudly, his hands into fists.
“Without a beating heart.”
You nod in understanding, your eyes fixed on your feet as you cannot stand to look into his eyes full of pain and, possibly, regret.
“______” he softly calls your name and you lift your gaze towards him, realizing this is the first time he has called you by your name ever since you entered his house and, for some reason, it makes your heart leap in your chest, “Good luck.”
The door closes before him and you’re left with nothing but doubts and questions you’re dying to ask but, most importantly, with the desperate need to see him and feel him again.
That reverie is what makes you absolutely certain you’ll see him again. With or without a beating heart in your chest.
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Copyright © 2017 by jeonggukingdom. All rights reserved. 
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interviewtion · 7 years
Text
Niku Gutfuck Interviewtion
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In this interview I talked to Texas-based musician Niku Gutfuck about the role of ambient music as a healing tool, the inspirations for their new EP, and the process of focusing on addressing mental health.  Q: You’re extremely honest and outspoken about your struggles with mental health. How have those struggles informed and inspired the music you make, especially on this new EP?
A: I've had these issues for a long time but never bothered to talk about them. I never really knew how to. That said, I didn't know how to make art about them either. I didn't even know I had bipolar disorder or OCD until I was diagnosed this year. It all made sense after I was diagnosed, but finding out I just...gave up. I stopped caring. I skipped class, I never went outside, I avoided other people. I just kinda existed. 
Relating this to the EP, someone very dear to me who had been a very big part of my life for about two years tried desperately to help me. They tried their best, but the issue is I didn't. I instead, pulled the stupid pity party card multiple times and found myself being like "well, this is just life. Whatever," rather than growing the fuck up and taking the initiative to make things in my life better. Suffering took zero effort. That's why I decided to just be miserable. Eventually, these issues of mine took control. 
I said things I didn't mean and acted in ways I never thought I would, all to this person that has always been there for me. I hurt them badly. We ended up going our separate ways. I didn't realize how much their company meant to me and how much I had taken them for granted until they were gone. It was too late. I grew the fuck up too late. I did everything too late. 
I found myself remembering that this person always told me that I was one of the few people who truly cared about them. That I was always there for them. That I was very important to them. And in return I gave them a big "fuck you" without even realizing it because I was so clouded by my own self loathing and selfishness. It fucked me up. I considered this person family, and honestly still do. But because of me they are gone. It pains me more than I could ever explain. 
This EP is about that. It's about me grieving over losing this person. How much I miss them. How sorry I am. How I decided to start self harming because I couldn't live with myself. How I became even more of a shut in because of my actions. And finally, realizing that I need to change. 
It's entirely ambient because I feel like droney ambient music is best at giving off intended emotions. Ambient music is very personal, I feel like lots of people don't realize that. The message behind the EP is "look into yourself, see if your problems are becoming you, and change it before it comes at a price that you would have no choice to pay." 
I don't want my listeners to be like me, I want them to learn from me. I don't see myself as a role model. I see myself  as a colossal fuck up that's trying to change their ways and NOT be a colossal fuck up. I care so much about all of my supporters and their well being. To be honest, I want to make that person proud despite everything. I hope I am. Take your mental health seriously. You don't want to find comfort in your problems. That's a path that leads to a very dark place.
Q: In your essay on your latest release you talk a little bit about Tamakichi Anaru, so how has his visual work inspired your own music? A: Snuff films used to really interest me in the sense that I never really got what motivated people to do such acts. Anaru-san's work is very very violent and, to be blunt, fucked up in nature ranging from the most heinous acts of violence to straight up gore porn. I find Anaru-san's work to be in a sense some of the most human shit. To explain, we're fucked up. 
I have a writer friend named Noah, who once told me that he believes that humans are naturally born evil. Though it isn't as black and white as that, there is some truth to the statement. The human race in general is just fucked up. We spread the message of loving each other through media outlets or to strangers passing by, yet we hurt each other every single day. Slavery, genocide, war, oppression, even things that are on a smaller scale like bullying. This is the shit we do to each other. We make each other miserable. 
I feel like, in a way, Anaru-san's work is a manifestation of that. It's fucked up, and in no way do I condone any of it, but at the end of the day all of us have the potential to be fucked up. Some people just choose to hide it behind a mask. Q: What made you end the Midori Kida project in order to start releasing music as Niku Gutfuck? A: Niku Gutfuck started last year, actually. I was releasing very violent harsh noise music, it was straight up a wall of power electronics. The project initially was started because of my experiences with anger issues and obsessive compulsive disorder. 
It was meant to portray a feeling of anger. As a society, we look down upon anger. Anger is painted in a negative light all the time, people with bad anger issues are often demonized, and looked at as violent people that just want to inflict pain on others. For the longest time, I shamed myself for it because of that. I believe that we shouldn't be judged for our emotions, but for our actions. Anger is human. We tend to think of humanity as whatever the media portrays humanity as. That feeling of being an outcast due to my issues was initially what inspired Niku Gutfuck. 
Midori Kida, however, wasn't at all as deep as that, nor do I think it ever could have been. I was catering. It was me not being myself. It felt like I was making music under someone else’s project. That's a very harmful way to look at doing something you like to do, but it's the truth. I didn't realize just how personal Niku Gutfuck was until very recently, so I decided to keep the name and take the project to new places, while still keeping the themes that were personally significant to me.
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Q: How did you choose the name Niku Gutfuck for this project? Are you worried at all that a name like that might turn some people away from listening to the music? A: Originally I just picked it because it sounded violent and angry enough for the context of the music, but after I got tired and upset with Midori Kida, I realized I had some personal connections to it. Like I said, Anaru-san's films depict the ugly fucked up side of humans that we like to pretend doesn't exist. Well, one has to be ridiculously fucked in the head to commit such heinous acts of violence upon another person. To me, it's giving in to your mental health problems. Letting them take control and change you. You're no longer yourself, you're your problems wearing your skin and passing off as you. It makes you harm people, break others, destroy them because your mental health problems grabbed you by the collar and you didn't have the willpower to force them to put you down. Just like I did to my best friend. 
Like I said before, I want to make music so people learn from my mistakes, I don't want people to be like me, I want people to LEARN from me. Mental health problems can be fixed with time, willpower, and effort. It takes courage. Something I lacked. And in turn I hurt someone who was very important to me. Niku Gutfuck is supposed to symbolize that. Not even being yourself anymore. Becoming a costume that your paranoia wears to look like you. 
I was worried about the name at first, and in a way I still am, but the more I thought about the personal aspects the more I felt like I had to. I'm so obsessed with people being happy honestly. Happiness is the best thing in the world in my opinion. Just seeing someone, anyone, happy makes me emotional and happy too. But while that's something I wanna do with my art, at the end of the day I need to do this for myself too. I do this for other people, but I also do it for me. Art is the only method of self expression that I have. I want to make things for people who need it, but how can I expect my art to help others if it can't even help me first?
Q: What is the appeal of ambient music for you? A: My friend Warren (he makes music as Foxes in Fiction) once described ambient music as "audio xanax". I think that's very accurate. To me, ambient music is the epitome of emotion. A lot of ambient and drone-y experimental music doesn't have a ton going on, and I normally see that as a common complaint with the genre. I, however, think that is fine. There is this science where certain frequencies and tones can make people feel certain emotions. Music can be healing. That inspires me a lot. 
Ambient music is a genre I always find myself going back to, especially when things start to become overbearing. You don't have to worry about any drastic changes, it's pretty much just music to remember things to. I enjoy that. I'm a very sentimental and sensitive person, so I remember things in my life a lot. Good and bad. Ambient music tends to be my soundtrack for that.
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Q: Who are some of your personal favorite ambient/drone/noise artists? Do you have three albums in those genres you would recommend to people who aren’t familiar with them? A: An artist that has always been there for me is Yuko Imada. In fact, Yuko Imada's "Untitled (Moon)" was pretty much 99% of the inspiration for Everything is Gone. On Seeing has been my favorite song for years, I listen to it when insomnia keeps me up. I Am A Lake of Burning Orchids has also inspired me a ton as well. I also can't go without mentioning Watashi no Koko and Apollo Knives. Since I have quite a few influences for this album, I decided to give five recommendations instead of three, simply because there are a lot I recommend. Yuko Imada - Untitled (Moon) I Am A Lake of Burning Orchids - Summer in My Veins Apollo Knives - The Harshest Winter Watashi no Koko - まごころを君に Nobuto Suda - Modest Calm I also want to point out that the Yume Nikki and .flow soundtracks are fucking fantastic. They inspire me a lot, both of those games are so dear to me.
I really wanna talk about some of the other artists that inspire the album I am working on. Not ambient artists, but I really feel like I should point them out because of how much they all mean to me. 
One of my biggest influences is Halsey. She's honestly one of my favorite artists of all time. Her music is so important to me and she's somebody I really really look up to and view as a hero. Her lyrics hit very very close to home to me, I relate so much to them. Reading interviews with her and seeing that she also deals with bipolar disorder makes me feel like I'm not alone. I usually feel like I'm an outcast because of my BPD. Like I shouldn't have anybody close to me and I should remain in solitude cause I'll just end up hurting them by accident. She showed me that my mental health doesn't have to define me. She influences me in so many different ways, in my opinion all of her music is perfect. I honestly can't stress enough how vital Halsey is to me and how much I look up to her haha. 
I feel the exact same way about Meishi Smile. Meishi Smile has been one of my favorite music projects for so so long. The amount of raw emotion in the music is so breathtakingly beautiful to me, I've viewed Garrett Yim as a hero since I was a Junior in high school. I've always been obsessed with his countless projects (nono., and the previously mentioned Yuko Imada) and honestly he is one of the reasons I ever started making music in the first place. 
Meishi Smile and Halsey both make me feel like somebody gets it. Every day I wake up and feel like I am inhuman. Like, my mental shit makes me some monster that deserves to have nobody. They show me otherwise. I wanna do that for somebody at the end of the day. Show someone that they are not alone.
On another note, I am also very inspired by J-Pop. I really love the works of Yasutaka Nakata, whether it be Perfume, Capsule, or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu (the queen haha). J-Pop just has this sound to it that really makes me gravitate towards it. It sounds very happy on the surface, but if you look deeper it's a very dark genre, a good example being Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's music video for Kira Kira Killer (one of my personal favorite Kyary songs) exploring themes of death. 
Tyler the Creator is also a colossal influence on me, he's helped me a lot when it came to dealing with my anger issues and shit. And of course I am also very inspired by Porter Robinson and Madeon, they are also heroes to me. Also, anime haha. Stuff like Danganronpa, Anohana, and Madoka Magica fill me with this weird urge to recreate how those franchises make me feel and how they sound to me. 
But I get most of my creative inspiration from my personal experiences. I do lots of venting through art. All of the upcoming album is me doing that. Venting.  I have a lot of emotional scars and have so many regrets. This new album is so personal. One song is about how in my state of feeling torn up over what I've done I turned to drugs as a coping mechanism and ended up having this mental breakdown after getting super fucking high. Another is about my dependency issues with self harm and how I've become addicted to cutting and burning myself. It feels weird, honestly. Makes me feel kinda naked, you know? At the same time it feels so good putting feeling into my music. Letting out all my regrets, grudges, and anxieties into a tangible form just feels...good. It's something I wish I've always done rather than make music I'm not proud of. I'm hoping I find myself while making this album.
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Q: It seems like video games are an important component of your life, so do you ever see yourself soundtracking a game? A: I've actually thought of this quite a bit. I'd love to in all honesty. I'd soundtrack any game really, but I'd really love to make the ost to a Yume Nikki fangame. Yume Nikki is such an important game, it's amazing that Kikiyama was able to create such a dedicated fanbase over a simple little RPG Maker game. I still visit Uboachan, though not too frequently. 
I first got introduced to video games in the Gamecube/Game Boy era, so growing up games like Pokemon Silver, Sonic Adventure (both of them), Super Mario Sunshine, and my favorite game of all time Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess took up all my time. I remember maxing out the ingame clock in Twilight Princess haha. From there I graduated to PC gaming, and now the game I've been playing the most of is Overwatch. I'm pretty garbage at it but competitive has been helping me get better. I'd also like to point out while we're on the topic of video games how much Danganronpa means to me. It's one of my favorite games and makes me hella emotional. There's a song on my new album about it haha. Q: What do you have planned for the future of this project? A: I have a new album coming out at some point that’s named Stay. Niku Gutfuck is split into two different styles: The ambient, droney harsh noise side such as Everything is Gone, and a very J-Pop inspired electronic music side. The topic of Everything is Gone is gonna be elaborated on in a few songs, as well as other topics I want to get off my chest. I am not sure when this is coming out, where I will release it, or if I will fuck with any labels at all, I am just trying to get my emotions out in audio form as of right now. I'm ultimately trying to improve as a producer and musician as much as I can, music production is honestly something that I just adore fucking with and I can't see myself stopping no matter how discouraged I get. 
There's this fire in me that won't let me stop, and I am so glad it's there cause it keeps me going. I'm trying to find an artist to work with to make the album cover, especially since I love working with visual artists. The feeling of two artistic minds that focus on different art forms coming together to create something is so inspiring to me and one of my favorite things about making music.
Be sure to follow Niku Gutfuck on Twitter to keep up to date! 
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stirlingmoss · 5 months
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The brightness from the cotton sky nearly sears my retinas, I blink and blink and blink again, the time reads 16:24.
Entranced by the liquefied light glistening like grease on water and murmurs of the flood, I unobtrusively rock my head shoulder to shoulder.
Inch by inch, I return to prior moments of attentive silence.
Winter wasn’t rattling my teeth or knocking my bones, the atmosphere is dispassionate and feeling seconds change to minutes soothed reasoning.
A sentiment from an earlier encounter drifted my thoughts, ‘If I cannot think alike on all topics, I can at least be united on greater essentials.’ I played about with this but mighn’t have given it a chance to work. I surf another thought, ‘Would it be precise to surmise men and women will never think alike?’ Now a two-year-old question, I resolved to finish the dance someday.
A short laugh loud enough for me to hear floats through the air, modifying the composition of the garden and ceasing the reverie.
Rivers of seconds pass, inquisition expanded in my eyes, and I gave in.
The visual visit to the source discovered the docent warmer blood by herself readily flicking through a stocky book.
Cloud after cloud I fare, by and by reverting to consultations, ‘Did I bring sadness with me to breakfast earlier today?’, ‘I never believed the loss of trust to be so grievous a thing.’ ‘Can I live without bruising?’ I meditated all with time as company, each of which I assail and humour.
Ripped all over again by a stifled chuckle sputtering like the fount’s stream, I twist to see the reason of amusement positioned in her palm like a becoming fortune and the ends of a reducing smile unwillingly flawing away a curve on her cheek.
Pathways became steep and slippery as the re-entry to my discourses turns out to be considerably narrower. ‘The minor dispute I had on the telephone last night, was the question of poor taste, was that why I felt annoyed?, was that why I couldn't answer? or did I feel touched at a tender part?’
Pending interpretations, as if on cue, a light snicker escaped her clutch.
Unconsciously sabotaged is my sensation, further ejected from contemplation and forcibly returned to the present.
This time I fix my peepers on and scrutinise her portrait craftily; her head from the side maintains about seven prolonged, knotted wisps of hair draped independently like motionless black snakes. 
A plain pendant studded her earlobe, running down,—tracing along the lobe, a scant jaw-line bonds her dull chin to a vague dark throat, then returns uphill yet again, passing the brims of laughter lines and locked lips to finally hike a blunt effeminate nose holding glasses.
I hurriedly turned to the fountain feeling my eyes a little crude, her resolution toward the book hadn’t wavered.
She was no dramatic beauty but charming enough to pardon on sight, she had a harmless air, maybe I sensed it in her laughter or the way her fingers affected each page.
While I sat quietly, my mind was busy thinking of what I might do next. ‘People respond to beauty, it sounds abnormal, but it's true,’ ‘Have you ever had much luck asking friends of women?’, ‘If it would at least help to quieten your soul, the eye is easily duped.’ A cynical voice threw all at me. ‘You never know where your heart wants to go,’ ‘Would you want me to figure out how to break in?’ ‘Are we crossing the red sea?’ A magnanimous voice addresses.
She passively adjusts the snakes, putting them in place with the back of her hand. I had drunk a bit too much off her teapot, and now I’m permanently seated, fastened like an Ancient Egyptian mummy as time remains immovable in the recesses of my mind.
‘Oh! How are we to know if it’s really loving that found its way here? I don’t understand this debate at all—people who read books do not like to be disturbed.’ The cynical voice glowers.
‘Courage never has much to do with intelligence, for ourselves who do not know if we shall breathe out the very air we now breathe.’ The magnanimous courteously throws in.
‘And Stupidity! Stupidity!! Will you stop putting forward low-grade arguments, I don’t know what you're leading up to, there you go running,—running through your catalogue of emotions in five seconds.’ And then he adds ‘Those are nice comfortable lies you are telling us, she hasn’t even looked us in the eye.’ The cynical counteracts fully gesticulating, the atmosphere is that of a crossfire between two activated jurors who needn’t breathe.
‘She might ask what the point of the conversation is?’ The cynical now simmering, though still passionately welded to his cause. My heart went boom-boom.
‘Except she’s blindfolded, I find that her inclinations tend more and more toward conviviality but that long youthful indifference and consequent shy reticence still guides her conduct.’ The magnanimous expresses, his eyes silently urging me.
Overstimulated and combating acquiescence, my heart slowly retains unfocused feelings; at this time, my shoulders felt it right to shrug, and muscles thought it appropriate to clench, but I will not agree with them.
The cynical voice wore his stubborn face, the magnanimous had wide eyes of optimism.
Apparently summoning a volume of vigour with a face made up, the cynical voice could already perceive a choice not in his graces, in a lower tone he says, ‘You are just catching me on a bad day, pity we were getting on so well.’ In itself a minor miracle, I started toward her.
What to say still hadn’t entered my thoughts, the fiery voice finally wincing at the long road of unrevealed hardships as he states, ‘This is a rather exhaustive form of self-sacrifice.’ The magnanimous refutes, ‘She too will understand the vagaries of life.’
The gamekeeper's whistle blows, a familiar hush scatters and fills the noise. I swim up slowly from a pitch black sleep.
Right seats unoccupied. Leftward seats deserted. Time 18:13. Fountain soliloquising. Sky—purplish and bittersweet.
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blueanddeepblue · 7 years
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How do you write everything? How could you sum up the breadth of experience in one fell swoop? How can you pass on what it's like in the moments before dark, hurling down the highway in a metal can with rubber wheels, paying heed to nothing in particular, when the sky in front of you explodes in liquid color, every hue of orange and pink and red and purple the the mind will allow? Can you really explain the sight of such a thing? How it takes your breath away and leaves you in a twisted heap of nothingness out by the forest road? How it unhinges you and sends you careening foolishly out of orbit, like an astronaut untethered out in empty space, knowing that such a view will never be seen in such a way ever again? Most forms of art attempt this careless undertaking: to somehow against all odds capture the essence of a thing, to attempt pinning down that by which definition must remain elusive. Sometimes art tries to replicate the world outside, tries to mirror the world around it, or frame it in a way that provokes thought. But the great art, the stuff that moves me, is the art that leaves me gutted by its immensity, by the bigness of the questions it makes me ask or the longings it stirs up, desires deeper than I knew I could go. But can you write everything? Dylan says the answer is blowing in the wind, and Rothko drove himself mad trying to transmit form, space, and color. Mostly, in the ten days since the eclipse, I've read Annie Dillard and watched birds or played guitar, stringing together campsites in Tennessee and the Carolinas. Birds are decent company, but Dillard is where it's at. Here, she captures the total eclipse experience much better than I tried to last week: "Seeing this black body was like seeing a mushroom cloud. The meaning of the sight overwhelmed its fascination. It obliterated meaning itself. If you were to glance out one day and see a row of mushroom clouds rising on the horizon, you would know at once that what you were seeing, remarkable as it was, was intrinsically not worth remarking. No use running to tell anyone. Significant as this dread sight was, it would not matter a whit. For what is significance? It is significance for people. No people; no significance." I've tried my hand at art. I've dabbled in music and writing and photography, in trying to share something of importance with people outside of my immediate circle, but really in all these things I'm an amateur, a hobbyist, one singular phytoplankton bobbing through a droplet of all the art the world has ever known, with the world itself, in all its forms, the accumulation of oceans, seas, rivers, and lakes. But what did it look like, when the first ray of sunlight came over the horizon, the first time someone realized that they were racing towards an exploding star? In high school my sisters and I would sit out on the trampoline into the night and bounce questions around like bingo numbers, pulling ideas into focus and then tossing them back. Part of my religiosity during those years was due to Christianity's attempt to answer why we ended up here in the first place and what were supposed to do about it; while I don't believe or practice anymore, I still think the best forms of religion seek to wrestle with these questions as opposed to administering prescriptions. But there it is again; how can the marsh be such a color of green? Why does blurring your eyes in a forest at dusk look the same as the vast emptiness of a West Texas sky? Or how can owls fly so silently when ravens whoosh like vacuum cleaners? How hot is it there in the middle of that fire, right there where it's white and blue? Is that color, there in the fire, the same as the sound at the beginning of the universe? These are the questions I can't possibly answer, but I want to try to ask. These are the people I'm drawn to. ----- Two days ago I watched a looper climb an invisible rope up into the canopy. I lay down on the picnic table and used my binoculars as the inchworm wound the invisible rope up into a ball, writhing and contorting himself like an epileptic in a fit. When I first noticed him (and because my morning hikes have been a cautious and ceaseless exercise in attempting to avoid web to the face or an accidental spider breakfast), I at first thought he was caught in a spider's lattice and trying to escape the inevitable by thrashing his way free. His precarious position, between nothingness and seeming nothingness, was in fact defensively strategic. Loopers sense vibrations as they're feeding, and merely being a worm and thereby one of the forests chief protein sources, they are equipped with what can be seen as either a severe shortage, or a few surprising survival tactics; if the vibration signals bird, they often freeze, and hope that their camouflage provides them ample cover, but if the vibration signals predatory insect, the worm throws a silk line and abandons ship, using a longer silk line if it senses a wasp and a shorter one if stinkbug. I watched him climb all the way to the top. He'd pause every so often, presumably to rest, but that is a human assumption. I'm not certain if his task was as arduous as it seemed from my supine vantage point. I thought of Alex Honnold free-climbing El Capitan, and wondered if that was somehow comparable - the inchworm ascending something near 250 times his own body length, in the course of 20/30 minutes. Or maybe this was more akin to an evening commute, the long drive back to the suburbs after a day at the office, a rote task performed simply because the day was nearing completion. Certain wasps have learned that inchworms use this evasive maneuver and have adapted to scour the foliage and find the silken thread, pulling the hapless looper up like a trout at the end of a hungry fisherman's hook. ----- In the waning years of graduate school, my friends and I would don goggles and scour the crystal clear waters of the San Marcos, searching for salamanders and sunfish among the rocks and aquatic wild rice or hunting the invasive suckerfish with spears. When the water level was flowing low enough, I could muster enough courage to explore below the waterfall below Spring Lake, the river's headwaters. I remember John, my roommate at the time, swimming beneath an underwater chandelier made of moving crystal that was ever-changing. I remember the still water beneath it and how the fish were unperturbed by the currents above, how the water down below was calm blue, but how the surface foamed white and would sweep you back downriver. I remember taking it all in until we couldn't hold our breath any longer, until we were forced to admit that this world was not for us, that we were merely visitors, intruders in a place where the magic was beyond our grasp. I remember how John, too, even after he died, held his own magic, in the way that each of us holds our own magic. If only we'll let the sun wake us up, if only we'll unhinge ourselves enough to swim and dance and run with a child's abandon. If only we'll make the climb. ----- The forest is a dizzying place. Growing and dying all in one breath. The geometry is all wrong. We walk along the ground of the forest, but the real action is vertically oriented. The White Breasted Nuthatch scampers up and down trunks looking for easy meals. Squirrels chatter and squabble across highways from tree to tree. Cicadas climb up to shed their skin and mate. I tried to calculate the amount of surface area that exists above the forest floor by laying there in my hammock and imagining a 25ft section of forest laid down and flattened out, every leaf and branch and trunk of every tree in that small section of woods; what goes up and down dwarfs what can cover the ground. Everything green or brown racing towards light. A twist here because a larger tree blocked the way. The fallen warriors who grew taller than their canopy could afford, and the starting gun that their toppling signals for every smaller sapling hoping to fulfill a grander vision. Fall webworms make dirty silken tents where they live and feed and defecate and molt through their various instars on their way to becoming a white moth. Each branch or twig, previously laden with leaves but covered with the caterpillars' silk, takes on the resemblance of a ghastly circus tent, a mummified freak show of wriggling, living, hairy animals with decayed leaves and pieces of the webworm's previous instars strewn through the webbing like floating skulls and withered apparitions. I poked the tent with my knife and watched them squirm over strands away from the opening, deeper into the dragon's lair. The tent itself is visually similar to that of the tent caterpillar, which is in fact, also a moth, but who emerges in early spring and seems to be the cleaner of the two pests, using their tents more like a home, which they build with various rooms that the morning sun warms to varying degrees, insulating them and helping them digest their food, which they cannot do unless it's warm enough. Some researchers have noted a 54 degree difference between the inside of a tent and the forest air surrounding it. Tent caterpillars, as opposed to fall webworms, leave their tent for feeding, excreting pheromone trails behind them like ants to let the other caterpillars know when the good grazing has been found. Because they merely eat the leaves, webworms and tent caterpillars don't do any damage to the trees outside of offending our expectations of what a good, honest tree is supposed to look like. It's impossible to be bored in the forest. It is quiet, and you can slow down to a crawl, but boredom won't find you. Stare at a phone all day, read the news and flip through pictures and articles and like people's posts, and boredom will come for you, an aggressive boredom, the kind that makes you want to toss the screen against the wall and yell "What am I even doing?" Lay in a hammock and look at trees all day and boredom won't find you. Instead you'll be dizzy. ----- Dillard writes that there are two types of waking up; one is like a photographer or painter paying attention to all the minutia of light and framing and subject, honing in on the world around them and examining with scrutiny every detail that can be absorbed. The other type of waking up occurs when you let go of thought entirely, when you step into the flow of the world around you, thoughtless and alert, empty and aware of anything but self - then, you'll awake to have your lungs sucked dry at the sight of an egret flying across a blue sky. When you find someone who wakes up everyday, stay near. ----- Today I'll meet up with Alexis, ending the solo part of my journey. The respite has been nice, albeit sometimes lonely, as solitude often is; however, I'm drawn to exploring new landscapes with this wonderful woman. There are new secrets the world waits to reveal, and old stories that conjure up deep magic. I remember climbing a hill with her and watching the Perseid rain stars down and how each burning rock opened a chasm in my soul, how the bigness of the sky was pierced by the intensity of each question we asked each other that night, how we pricked holes in the fabric of the universe. I remember so many things. Waking will help you remember. LIke the time we walked along the top of a plateau where Native Americans had written petroglyphs on the boulders and the sky held the smell of rain, and we looked for rocks to see if we could hear their stories. Or walking through the neighborhoods of Austin with the sky electric and lightning in our teeth. Now, we both sit on the edge of a transition. And these few months of travel are as much about looking closely as they are about letting go. And I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to walk into this next phase with trust and understanding, with someone whose capacity for beauty holds no limits. ----- Emerge from the forests to find the sky. See the swoop of brilliant white against the green of cord grass and how the blue of the channel is different from the blue of the sky. See how the sunset plays with the boundaries of physics and time, making the water a kaleidoscope snake, but wait, now it is an inky eel. Hear how the kingfisher chatters like the brash ruler he is and smell the morning dew on the Palmetto. Climb even though it is dangerous, even though you have no silken lifeline. Ask to be torn open like a new day, to be opened like a gift for a child, to be woke and woke again. And again.
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“The Light” Music that Motivates
The latest Big Sean album entitled “I Decided” inspired the first episode of the That's What She Said Podcast! It’s been proven that music has a way of capturing our emotions so I decided to utilize the power of music to engage in meaningful conversation. The song of the week is "The Light" by BIG SEAN! I chose this specific song because it was very thought provoking and relevant to the issues we face daily. I talked about the importance of learning to embrace your light and value your legacy and this song correlates perfectly with the topics I discussed. The goal is to utilize music to encourage and inspire others to be focus, passionate, self-awareness and chase their dreams unapologetically. I visualized every experience this song talked about and shared my thoughts. Then I shared Big Sean's verse and a reality check! The reality check is just a reflection of what I felt Big Sean was trying to share with us. Here's my thoughts on Big Sean's lyrics and how they remind us to stay focused and embrace our light.
My Vision Part 1: False Reality
Life’s setbacks have a way of infiltrating the mind and planting the seed of self-doubt. Family history, racism, financial burdens and daily struggles water that self-doubt until it becomes a living being within us all. Often times we might find ourselves gauging our worth and our abilities on our current circumstances. DREAMS start to look like intangible entities instead of tangible goals. This internal struggle causes us to switch to survival mode. We start to morph into whomever and whatever we need to be in order to simply exist in this world. We display a false version of ourselves, which extinguishes our fire. This causes us to look far and wide for something to fill this void. This includes material things, acceptance, money and people. We literally start to settle for mediocrity! Before we know it TIME has flown by and we’ve literally lost ourselves! Everyday society makes us feel more and more drained! It seems like no matter what we do we just can’t make any progress. Our lives basically become a prerecorded routine. Same shit different day! We go to work feeling unappreciated, drive through oppressed neighborhoods and return home to emptiness and drama! We know that there has to be more to life but we can’t figure out what we’re doing wrong.
Big Sean Verse:
I spent my whole life trying to improviseI'm not saying that shit for you to sympathizeSpent my whole life trying to find what's at the end of the tunnelI should have realized it was inside –Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that we were born to fulfill a purpose! GOD equipped us with a built in navigation system and our destination was predetermined. He literally typed in our destiny when we were conceived! If we never look inward to search for the answers we will never catch a glimpse of the amazing scenery! We might get lost, hit a few detours and have to reroute but nobody can stop us from reaching our destination! We feel uncertain because we don’t know our ETA and we can’t see what’s at the end of the tunnel. If we continue to look inward and seek his LIGHT he’ll always take the wheel and steer us in the right direction.  
Big Sean Verse:
My dad from Louisiana, man the smallest townWhere if they know you brown, they might hold you downAnd even hose you down, manSince I'm a son, I feel like I gotta stunt hardI took the hand that they gave me and played the Donald Trump card –Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that we can overcome our circumstances! It doesn’t matter what type of family we have, where we come from or what generational curse we have to overcome. No matter what hand we’re dealt we can always play the game and be the WILD CARD! We have to start using our circumstances to motivate us to push for more. Our ancestors have already blazed a trail for us now we have to pave it and make it easier for the next generation to journey through!
My Vision Part 2: Embracing Your Light
Out of nowhere, one day we will all wake up…… no I mean really WAKE UP!  We will have dreams stronger than anything we’ve ever felt before. It’s going to hit us like a TRUCK and as a result we will slowly start to hear something calling us. Then we will start to see something really faint in the distance. We won’t quite know what it is but it’ll intrigue us just enough to motivate us to keep fighting. We will have a feeling so intense that we can literally FEEL a burning sensation! The minute we submitted to that feeling we’ll start to feel the flow of GOD’s Amazing Grace! In order to see past the dark clouds of reality we have to ACCEPT THE LIGHT! God’s grace illuminates our purpose and allows us to have many revelations! Big Sean Verse:
So lately I been trying to get what's inside outside – Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that once God exposes us to our GIFTS we must ACT IMMEDIATELY! It’s our duty to share our GIFTS with the world!
Big Sean Verse:
Got the whole city on fireBoy this the flow that got Steph Curry inspiredThis the flow that got Lebron James finna rewireThis the flow that got my whole family finna retire – Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that when we embrace OUR LIGHT we INGNITE a torch that INSPIRES others to embrace and share their LIGHT! We are responsible for leading by example! We have to encourage each other to DREAM BIG and take ACTION! It also reminds us that when we live in our true purpose the money and resources will come. 
My Vision Part 3: Light At the End of the Tunnel
We will eventually start to realize that everything we’ve been through has groomed us for our purpose! The small things that use to worry us will become obsolete and life becomes tolerable! Our family history and legacy will become our fuel to be successful. The oppressed neighborhood that raised us will become our SUPPORT SYSTEM! The need for material things will disappear and the hunger for fulfilling our PURPOSE will become priority number one. When this shift happens we’ve officially started to let what’s inside show outside! The LIGHT BEAMS we emit will begin to spread and INSPIRE OTHERS! We quickly realize that the false reality society tried to FORCE us to consume wasn’t REAL! We no longer rely on money, status, things and people to feed our souls! Our inner peace has allowed us to break every tie of oppression and depression “THEY” tried to attach to us.  We realize that the shade being thrown was purposely casted out to try to shade our LIGHT!
Big Sean Verse:
And realized counting money never feel as good as counting blessingsAnd a loaded mind is more dangerous than a loaded weaponSo when they take the fame, take the cribTake our cars, now we gotta take the trainHood niggas takin' chains, slave master take our names5-0 take the shot and young souls take the blameMan, but they can't take away the light –Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that our joy must come from within in. The things we place our value on will determine our happiness! So we have to be careful. We have to remember that material things are great but they should never be major stakeholders in our happiness! Material things can be lost, take and destroyed! Whenever all of the material things are taken we have to remember the GOD is the one that bring us our true happiness!
My Vision Part 4: Remove the Filter
The LIGHT we always needed has always been deep down inside of us! “THEY” tried to strip us of everything we stand for! “THEY” placed us in a horrible environment and tried to make us adopt a CHEAP IDENTITY! We understand that no matter what “THEY” try to take they can never take our greatest possession. Our LIGHT! Our LIGHT lives in our spirits! Now we understand that our true light is inside! Nothing travels faster than the speed of light so nothing can contain it!  We no longer have to wait to shine because we are the LIGHT at the end of the TUNNEL!
Big Sean Verse:
No matter how much they gon' shade you (no)Man they can't fuck with the lightThey can't stop the shineThey can't fuck with the light, hell nah the boy's that brightEven if you take away my life, you can't take the lightNo matter how much they gon' shade you –Big Sean
Reality Check:
This verse reminds us that we can always defy all odds! Our environment can’t take our light! Our enemies can’t steal our light! Death can’t even diminish our light! It’s up to us to choose to embrace our LIGHT! We have to realize how powerful our light truly is. Shade kills dreams so we must make sure we allow our light to shine bright to encourage and save others.
I hope that my notes and the lyrics of this song motivates you and reminds you to keep looking inside for your light. Understand that your LIGHT was a gift from GOD and he's given you everything you need! Your destination is PREDETERMINED so nothing and no one can stop you from flying high! So be courageous, keep DREAMING, keep BELIEVING and always seek GOD'S LIGHT! You can and will be successful just have a little faith! The song of the week is "The Light" by Big Sean. If you haven't heard Big Sean's new album in it's entirety be sure to check it out.. It's entitled "I Decided!" Be sure to checkout this week podcast episode. Until next time y'all stay focus, keep grinding and respect the process. -Optimistic_ K
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