#-it worked hhhg...)

[ite-its-jellyfish-love]

Woah, it's the edgelord himself: Irakusa Akuros!

[low-po1y-princess]

Finished Transmutate.

[bijoumikhawal]

"Fanfic isn't REAL literature, a lot of fanfic is bad quality, writing fanfic makes you a bad writer and reading it makes you a bad reader" okay. Regardless of if ANY of that is true: are people having fun reading it? Are they having fun writing it? Not all art is trying to change the world and not all art needs to.

[borplecolored]

Wanting to message friends soon, my fellows I have been lackluster but I am still alive I promise!

Small? Update on life to hopefully shed light and also because I am once again trying communication... (I may have regressed a little further this time into isolation habits than normal and need to be uncomfortable in coming back for it to work. Healing feels bad sometimes )

> Scheduled C-Section for 31st of July, this eviction is planned this time so hopefully no surprises from this kid (I usually don't talk about being pregnant, I love the thought of the child but struggle with the dysphoria. This is my fault/choice and not something to hold against a being who is being brought into the world! Also because I will most likely not be able to adopt due to next part of life update)

> Some people are on thin fucking ice due to bad stupid decisions irl, and my trust in them evaporated (which is a major part of the isolation regression. If I keep these people in my life their decision has 2nd hand consequences on myself. I am waiting to see if this is worth it/if they are going to change or revert. I am not hopeful.)

> that's kind of it not gonna lie

[enden-k]

Youn and kavetham zine seems like a dream team hope it works out <33

ajlkshcbjk this is the 2nd time i got asked to join a zine but i was too nervous to join.............maybe this time tho hhhg

[sunn-mechanic]

Hhhg I'm remembering how insane I was about demon slayer a couple years ago.... The manga on my shelf is looking mighty tempting for a reread.........

But if I reread it I KNOW I'm gonna end up not finishing my Ninjago shit I'm working on ( T^T)

[snailvee]

i need to do work but the mutuals have struck me with Need To Draw. unfortunately i am also still artblocked and i know i'll get frustrated if i do draw. HOWEVER i do not want to do work. HOWEVER AGAIN the work is due in 2 hours and i just finished watching a movie instead of doing said work. hhhg

[horridly-plagued]

Being asked some of these already so just responding to the three I was asked!

Describe A Holdback Failure

🔕hold backs are always really hard for me, I’ve ended up having to hold back in classes one time I find to be notable is during a history final, I had caught a cold at the time and usually that tends to make my nose terribly sensitive depending on how bad the cold is. That day I decided I’d go in just because honestly, it was a final if I missed it there would be no making it up if the professor worked part time. So I went in and for the first half of the test it was fine sure my mind felt muffled and I was still suffering through most of the rest but it did not help at all after the halfway mark when I started to feel my nose tickle- a majority of it was really just trying my best to be quiet about it but I’m not really good at stifling and when I succeed it causes more harm then good (it just gets worse) so for that entire half of that test I just ended up trying hard to keep quiet but with a room dead silent it was sorta obvious I wasn’t doing great. Hold backs kill me hhhg

Someone hands you a bouquet you’re allergic to, what do you do?

💐 well first of all I think I’d be honored to be given a bunch of flowers I haven’t seen a lot of those in my life. Even then I’ll be honest, I’ve always been the type to never turn down a gift even if I was allergic to the bouquet I don’t think I’d find it in my heart to turn it down after taking into consideration 1 it could be hand picked 2 it could have cost you money. Even if it was a terrible allergy of mine I’d most definitely still keep it. Worst part about it I don’t think I’d even throw it out once I got home I’d end up just keeping it around despite the repercussions.

Fav way to induce

❤️ so I don’t really induce much in all honesty, I think when I do it’s more so because I’m already heavily irritated! Even then I think my favorite way is usually using something strong scented due to the fact it’s quick, easy, and usually leads to pretty strong fits but usually gets the job done if not adds more depending on the situation I’m in. If I’m not irritated already I may use something small like a piece of cloth but that’s mainly for my own enjoyment❤️

[just-a-carrot]

hi, first off (not a question),

i'd like to say i super love all of your games, they're all unique and immersive and u always have a great idea of what songs fit the mood of the scene.

anyway, my main question was just a lil something i've been curious abt for a bit.

i really love the ow franchise and was thinking abt making a fan blog on tumblr where i just post fanart and whatnot, but wanted to make sure that it wouldn't make u uncomfy at all hhhg

sorry if this is a dumb question, i just wanna be sure.

tysm 4 takin the time to read as this ask did get quite long... keep being cool !

(i can't wait for pt. 2 to arc 5, i already have orlam theories 😥😥)

AWWWWW thank you very much!! That's really sweet of you to say 🥺💕 I'm happy you like my games?? And LOL I'm glad you like the music too. It's always one of my favorite parts, finding the music, figuring out what works for each scene in my head. I like to think of them like movie scenes and working out the vibe and music and composition, etc.

As for your question, I'm totally fine with that!! I would be very honored?? 🥺 I'm honestly always fine with anything ppl want to do regarding the game and that ppl can enjoy the chars however they want! (well ok I ask that ppl not do anything offensive or harmful with them, but I mostly figure people would never do that anyway dhdjdj).

Thank you for asking! 💕 And LOLOL Orlam theories,,, you might have at least some of them answered sooner than you think 🤫

[snowy-bones]

*Phone blows up..

*Poff is working and checks phone..

*Spam likes on pics of Toxxus..

Me: Stop giving the goop man power!!!

Also Me: Yes give him more power I will draw him more now hhhg!!!

[hlvrai-twh]

Epic speed running to death, Gordon! Guess we now gained a deeper understanding of the danger of flying knives!

*My fight or flight is working against me- hhhg. I wish I had godmode or something- this sucks.*

“Whining like a baby and we haven’t even moved yet-“

[cerebrobullet]

Sharpe's Gold Daily Book Report:

*gently picks up the "sharpe and harper don't spend off duty time together" sentence and drops it in the trash next to "harper is 24 years old" sentence* no thanks, next!

do love the bit about someone insulting sharpe in the officer's mess and when he goes 👀 at them they shut the fuck up lmao.

god im only 3 minutes in and so much content

oooh, this is my Horse Girl cavalry officer everyone told me about!!! :D yay i cant wait for more of him heheh.

ngl im slightly sad that tv show sharpe didnt get to wear his cavalry trousers and boots like..... boots are such a Good Look hhhh.

sharpe: *literally beat the shit out of morris in india* "i still need to get revenge on that fucker"

*me upon hearing a lieutenant is young* oh so he's guaranteed dead this time

oh i forgot lawford is his commander rn HHHG god i *need* to write a fic about them during this timeframe. idk what it'll be about, probably something gay but i just love actually having like... details about their friendship vs. how sparse it was in the show. i just eat up any relationship that plays with someone having authority over the other, it's a good dynamic to me. i was thinking of having lawford show up in The Long Dark just so there would be more officers around who have a strong affection for sharpe heheh.

*bite and chews on the scene where wellesley calls sharpe "important"* this fucking narrator knows exactly what kind of inflection i'd imagine for this sentence and he really said it Like That and i stopped working for like five minutes just thinking about it

*beats fist on table over wellesley specifically excluding sharpe from dinner* this especially after the ending of Eagle where sharpe got to sit at the big boy's table with him lol. what an apt punishment for sharpe being spicy with the provost.

sharpe sees a bird, looks at harper immediately. my heart ;u;

hhf all my comments are about the first like 3 chapters rn ha, i just love scenes of banter what can i say

[br333]

Thinking about Pam saying her life is all work.

Thinking about her being so busy that close relationships are barely a thing in her life, until Benson.

Thinking about her meeting Benson, someone who can relate to that.

Thinking about him helping her to have fun and better her work-life balance, just as much as she helps him.

Thinking about them growing close and dating and being in love and kissing and and and–

AAAHW YESSS 😭💕💕 Benson helping Pam in her life just as much as much as she helps him! They're just soo gooood hhhg👌💖

[aspenwriter]

Bloody Ann: Chapter 3

(CW: Smut)

It was morning now, and I was still trapped below Anastasia’s gigantic body. I was tucked between her breasts, which were held together by the pressure of her body against the mattress. 

How did I sleep, you ask? I wouldn't admit this to anyone, certainly not to Ann, but it was wonderful! You truly wouldn't understand it unless you experience it. You're bombarded by soothing heartbeats, their whole body encases you in a protective shell, you feel like a protected secret hidden away from the world…

The hard part is waking up first. I must have spent half an hour wiggling and attempting to worm my way out of her pajamas. To no avail. My only hope was for her to wake up or to turn so I could get a moment of release. None came. This monster of a woman slept soundly and in complete peace. 

So I was left here, waiting in vain for her to wake up. Have you ever been the first to wake up at a sleepover? Imagine that but instead of friends you were sleeping with your boss, and instead of a mattress you were sleeping in her titanic tits. Also she kinda thinks you're her pet. 

Maybe it was the fact that I was trapped there, virtually alone, that made me reflect on that. What were we to the Raynes?

Victoria always treated me as a person. But I won't deny she was almost condescending sometimes. She had every right to do it of course. As of now she was the most powerful human being on the planet, so I'd say she was allowed to treat me like a child in need of guidance from time to time.

Anastasia treated me like a piece of property. She handled me without asking first. She got me twice into intimate situations that, while I certainly enjoyed, wasn't really prepared for. Hell, I was literally inside her last night, and I slept with her.

And yet, I feel some sincere tenderness in her. For all the ways she waved her power around me, I never felt it to be ill intentioned, mean or cruel. Why?

She had said good pets are hard to come by. That's what I am to her. A pet. I'm less than her. I am an inferior being in her eyes. I am an animal with the ability to reason but still slightly less than a person. 

God, it was so hot.

Who are you to judge me? I work directly with the closest people there have been to gods. If one of them thinks I am their pet the least I can do is feel flattered isn't it?

"Hhhg…" groaned a voice above. Anastasia had finally woken up.

"Morning Ann! Slept well?" I greeted. 

"Mornin'…" she replied, with a yawn. "I slept wonderfully, what about you?"

"I must admit this was very comfortable" I said.

"Good…. soooo are you those people that take a shower before or after breakfast?" Ahe asked 

"Before" I replied. 

"Wonderful" she said, with immense satisfaction. 

She plucked me out of her shirt and carried me to the bathroom. It was a fancy, clean white room. With black marble furniture. Ann gently let me step out besides the washbasin, and opened the faucet. She then looked at me, with bright expectation coming out of those pale eyes of her.

Words I guess were not necessary. I began to undress. She grinned, even blushed. With the tip of her finger she gently pushed me to the basin, her nails felt like needles, but they didn't hurt.

I fell into the warm water. Ann kindly handed me a bit of soap and I began to wash myself. She spent all the time looking. Examining. She rested her head on her hands and enjoyed the view.

It didn't feel invasive to tell the truth. I had already slept with her, I've been inside her body. I guess this wasn't breaking any boundary that wasn't already broken.

"So, Ann, aren't you going to take a shower?" I asked, breaking the silence. 

She snapped out of her trance "Ah, oh me?" she said "I feel I kinda lost myself a bit Lilibeth"

She undressed too, and walked to her shower. We exchanged glances. She didn't put the curtain up.

I have never seen her like this. I must admit most of what I knew of Anastasia Rayne was what the news said and the gossip among the Administrators. The Director always tried to be empathetic whenever she was a topic of discussion. I guess I now see why.

Is Ann a deeply fucked up person? Yes, absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt. Is she capable of being genuinely gentle and kind? Yes, somehow those two statements are not incompatible with each other. Seeing her like this, naked, vulnerable, treating me like a precious little thing. I knew, deep down, that Ann didn't see me as her equal by a long shot.

But I also knew she truly seemed to like me.

----------

After we had each taken a nice shower, we returned to the bedroom where we each took our time dressing up. I of course chose my black suit, contrasting nicely with my white skin and red hair. Anastasia dressed up casually as always, with the same jeans and hoodie she had worn before. 

She gently carried me to the kitchen, where she prepared us both some breakfast. Well, not like it took her much effort. She microwaved me a tiny sized pre-cooked breakfast. Although I appreciated she had taken the time to procure them for me with anticipation. She, on the other hand, served herself a couple of cinnamon rolls. 

Look I don't know if this bitch was trying to Pavlov me into associating cinnamon with wanting to be in her mouth or if she just really liked it. 

Anastasia was eating her breakfast in small bites, long apart. I naturally asked her if something was wrong. 

"Two things are bothering me right now, pet" she said. 

I wasn't expecting to be called a pet out of nowhere, I have to admit it didn't feel so humiliating now. It was almost cute coming from her.

"What's bothering you?" I asked.

"First, the fucking riots" she said "yesterday I appeased some of the crowd's bloodlust, but it won't last forever"

"How so?"

"Do you know how these things work, pet?" She asked. 

"The riots?" 

"Exactly" she said "in this kind of riot there are, let's say, two kinds of tinies" she explained. 

"One group" she continued "consists of those with valid, understandable and workable concerns. Funding concerns, public works concerns, crime concerns. This things we can provide"

"The other group, however" Ann said in a somber tone "consists of political radicals who resent the Administration in general and my family in particular. These are the persons who disagree with The Great Reform. We cannot compromise with them"

The Great Reform being the treaty in which the United Nations agreed to shrinking most of the population, by the way.

"So what do we do about that second group?" I asked, knowing the answer full well. 

"I'll take care of them, my dear pet"

Oh, 'dear' that was new.

"And what was the other thing that was bothering you?"

If Anastasia’s mood had begun to lighten up when she began thinking of ways of disseminating indescribable violence, my question made her gloomy again.

"I… was thinking that once this whole ordeal with the riots is settled… you will have to return to Vicky" she said.

I nodded. 

"Well, it's just that… the more I think of it… I uhhh"

I think I know where this is going.

"I don't want you to go, Elizabeth" she said "messing with you is so much fun, I know its been just two days but I… really enjoy your company you know?"

"Ann?" I called.

"Hm? She said, expectantly. 

"Please, just say that you like me"

Anastasia came down to me like a feral animal. She actually slammed the table in the process. Now, she was so close to me I could smell the cinnamon in her breath.

"You didn't even flinch just now Lilibeth…"

I did not?

"You're the first one…" she continued "You're the first one that isn't afraid of me"

[heylinfanclub]

EMDR WORK visa vs the statements of “there something wrong with me”/“I am Not my obstacle”

Slowly coming into the confidence that some things that happened when I was young would’ve been avoided if Someone had provided support. Nothing I can do to change the past but I can know that the things that happened weren’t entirely my fault and I can avoid them in the future with the knowledge I have now. Right. Right right. Hhhg. And the struggles I have are not a personal flaw, they’re struggles and that’s all they’ll be until they aren’t.

THERE WAS A DOGE

[mischievousdog]

“Me and the devil, walking side by side”