#... unless he's drunk

[wispforever]

they already got the party platter actually. it came with enough alcohol for ten people

[allastoredeer]

Have u heard about deers/elk/moose get absolutely fucked up drunk on apples…and the absolutely irony of radioapple being symbolised as🦌🍎…

Radioapple is so canon

I HAVE AND I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS NEW FACT.

I'm stuck between writing something about it, or drawing something about it. It's so so good. The image of Alastor getting drunk on apples, of all things, is too hilarious not to do something with.

[kacievvbbbb]

Mihawk: You’re being a child.

Shanks (on shot what? of gin) : You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Dracule. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you?

Mihawk:....

Shanks: A Pedophile.

Mihawk:……

Shanks (drinking the gin bottle dry) : And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert.

Mihawk: ……..😑

Safe to say that Shanks is no longer allowed to drink gin. Because, As it turns out, spirits turn him into a bit of a mean drunk

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

i need a edit of that drawing of peppino ">:3" Face someone pointing him a knife, is like thet cat meme lol!

(Like this?

[sapchats]

he literally acknowledged the camera like he knew dream had the receipts and he still turned around and talked all that shit and LIEDDDDDD like did he just think dream would lie down and take it and not say anything 😭😭😭😭

[scrollonso]

"drivers i would trust with my drink" and lance is in last place.

[llycaons]

the 7 foot tall muscular hyperconfident domineering 12 inch cock sex god billionaire lwj is literally indistinguishable from those booktok romance love interests. like that post about they're like 'come here little beast...I'll make you wet' that's those lwjs. to me. these people are fucking insane

[caniasfire]

@accultant asked: ☕️ + Gale?

how many glasses of wine had he drank already? he lost count. but he kept on calling the waiter, and they kept on filling his glass. he had only begun drinking more rapidly after talking about astarion, unpleasant memories flooding his mind, uncomfortable feelings wrapping around him. he felt nauseous. pathetic, you're pathetic. he could hear the laughter . . . was it the other people in the tavern? or was it his brother? his father? everyone else in the court? was it him? long nails dig into his palm as he clenches his fist, his lips pressed into a tight line. he downs the glass in one go and presses his eyes shut afterwards, fighting back the nausea. weak, small, feeble, gullible.

iago breaks him out of the prison of his mind with a question, and he stares at them, through them, like they're speaking in an incomprehensible language. "gale?" he gestures to the waiter, who doesn't look too happy to be returning to his side again. "gale." he moves the glass away too soon, making the waiter spill some of the wine, but he doesn't pay attention to that. he just keeps drinking. "he talks like-- like why can't he talk like a normal person? does he think he's better because he knows big, fancy words? does he think i'm stupid because i don't understand half of what he says? as if i didn't have enough people staring at me because of my accent. oh, but if i had a high elf accent i bet it would be sexy and mysterious." well, that's not necessarily about gale. he had never treated him differently because of it, unlike other people they had met in their travels. "i can't stand him he's irresistible. i bet he talks shit about me behind my back." maybe if he says that enough times he'll believe it, but he needed to justify his anger one way or another.

he runs a hand around his neck, and feels the scars the vampire left behind there. a constant reminder, for the rest of his life. "i don't get him. why me? why did he call to me? why did he. . . it was going to be so easy, soooo fuckin' easy." he bares his teeth, it's almost a smile. "i was going to snatch it for myself and finally for the first time in my life be on top. i was going to be a conqueror. they wouldn't control me no longer." clink, clink, clink. he taps his fingernails against the glass, wine slides down his chin as he drinks. "i had it all planned out, i even got ketheric to kneel." he wipes the wine off with the back of his hand with a little too much force. "but now, here i fuckin' am. after all the people i've doomed, all the people i've killed, here i am, playin' good guy. all because . . . " he takes in a deep breath and sighs loudly, shaking his head. "why me?" his eyes shift color for a second, a warm orange flicking across bright yellow irises. he closes his eyes, hands pressed against them; it felt like his skull was going to split open. he gets up a little too quickly and barely catches himself from falling with the table. his usual struggle with maintaining his balance combined with all the glasses of wine he had didn't really help him in making his way to the bathroom, but he eventually got there.

[zoya-nazyalenskys]

people going "why would aegon flee to essos with larys what about his wife and daughter???" you mean the wife he's shown not to care about?? the daughter he also doesn't really care about?? be so fr right now lmao

[3katanas]

@aamaranthiine asked: 💋 >3 From: The first 5 Asks to send 💋 get a kiss

He wasn't really one to help another hide from a fight. Typically he'd just have drawn his blades and doven into battle. Which was perhaps what she'd sensed when he'd felt her smaller hand upon his arm, gripping him tightly to hold him in place. One glance into those deep eyes had him shifting, taking a note out of the damn cook's book instead.

Body shifting as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her into his arms, lips moving to hover just over hers so that to the marines running by they would look like two lovers kissing in the shadows. Only, as he did this someone bumped into him from behind, propelling his body forward those last few inches, his lips sealing over hers as his eyes widened in surprise.

[demonir]

tierlist of if you should take the mercs to meet your parents

[perilegs]

what would it say about someone if this were to perhaps slightly give them butterflies. just a hypothetical

[solitaireships]

(I'm rlly sorry if this isn't good I haven't watched RWBY in so long but Ironwood's the only do I'm familiar with dndjrb)

"My dear, I'm sorry for working so late tonight after promising I'd be home early. You know my work is unpredictable. I'll be home in just an hiur. Dress nice, please, I've found a lovely spot for us to watch the stars and have some drinks.

Much love, James."

Ask for this prompt!

You know I'd be glad to wait for you as long as you need me to, especially if we're going stargazing. I hope you have a nice juice for me <3

(I'd give this a 20-25%! I wouldn't say it flustered me i forgot to mention in the replies of the post that i barely ever get flustered in a positive way, but it did make me smile, and you did well at getting his voice! Thanks so much!)

[littleplantfreak]

OH ALSO!!! what does it look like when umemiya is drunk? is he a lightweight? is he that one bf who gets clingy and needs you by his side constantly? can he usually walk home with you or do you need to support him or does he need to be carried by the other guys? so many questions that the world needs to know

I will tell the world of all I know... Oh! I'll put it under a read more just cause yea

CW: alcohol

He doesn't drink often, but when he does, he can really throw them back (beers at least). It's partially science really, since he's a big guy and a big eater. When he goes shot for shot with you though, he'll get tipsy faster depending on what you're having.

You think he's shameless with affection normally? Oh boy are you in for it. He's grabbing your face and saying the grossest, sweetest, romantic things to you in front of anyone in the room because at that point, the only thing he's really seeing is you anyways. Everything else is background noise.

The next step of drunk after that though, if he keeps drinking, is when he starts getting teary and crying about how much he loves you, and anyone around you. He's trying to text and call Kotoha, Sakura, Hiragi, whoever he remembers he can call to tell him how much he loves them. Once he gets to that point you're gonna need a car because he'll be accidentally leaning his whole weight on you leaving the bar. If it's before he gets teary, he can walk as long as you're keeping him a bit steady.

If you're walking home and he hasn't hit the crying stage of drunkenness, he tends to get a little closer and kinda bolder, being extra generous with how many smooches he gives, or whispering how pretty and hot and perfect you are in your ears. Never pushes though, just goes along with whatever you're telling him to do. "Yea baby you're sooo right!" he's hiccuping, because well, his lovey is always right aren't you? He does need to drink some water and lay down. His baby is the smartest in the whole wide world and he's sooo snuggly once you get him in bed.

[giggly-squiggily]

*sneaks into your room while you're asleep after coincidentally rediscovering a conversation we had and puts a little sticky note saying "bjornskeladd + be my valentine (pretty please ♡)" on your forehead, waters your plants and disappears into the night*

*wakes up with sticky note stuck to face* Oh? Oh :3 *looks around*...when did I buy all these plants?

RJEJREJRJ REY! I'm gonna be real with you- I literally forgot what we talked about, read this- thought "I think Bjorn could get away with tickling if Ladds was drunk" and that's what happened akjrjkarjkaej Then I DID find our conversation and said: "...I need to write this more often" so here we are :D I hope I was able to bring you some good bjornskeladd this evening :3

CW: drinking

Be My Valentine: "I know all your weaknesses!"

Bjorn never thought the day would come, but here they were.

“What are you looking at?” A disgruntled Askeladd stared him down, his expression stern but not dismissive. They’ve been drinking, and while the older man held his liquor well, even he had his limits. His cheeks were the barest of pink- the only indication he was tipsy. “Out with it, Bjorn!”

“You’ve had a bit to drink, eh boss? Sure you shouldn’t slow down?” The comment got him a glare and a scuff, disappearing behind a wooden mug as he took the last swig of his wine.

“I’m fine. I’m no weakling when it comes to..to..” He blinked a few times, glaring down at his mug. “What is this again?”

“You’re done.” Bjorn stood, wrestling the mug out of his hand despite the other man’s grasp with surprisingly little difficulty. “Come on- time for bed.”

“What are you, my nan? I don’t need to be tucked in.” Askeladd batted his hands away, standing up for maximum intimidation factor. This immediately plummeted when he nearly fell over- saved only by Bjorn’s quick reflexes. “Let me go, I can walk by myself!”

“Boss, with all due respect- you can’t.” Bjorn resisted the urge to sigh. It was a level of trust only he earned with Askeladd to witness him in such a state. He felt both honored and mildly exhausted. “Let me help you to bed.”

“I told you already, I’m no weakling when it comes to my drinks!” Prideful as ever, Askeladd began a wobbly stumble towards the rooms. Only it was in the other direction and he nearly walked through a window instead. Bjorn once again grabbed him to steady him. “Why are you here so fast? You holding out on me?”

“Face it, ‘Ladd. You’re drunk. Don’t lie to me- I know all your weaknesses.” Desperate times called for desperate measures. With an arm around the blonde, he pressed his fingers into his ribs sharply. “Time to sober up!”

“Gah! S-Shit, dohohon’t!” Gritting his teeth, Askeladd immediately went to shove him away, but either Bjorn was too strong or he was too drunk; he had no strength in his arms. “Bjohorn, you soohhn of a-”

“Yes, yes. Heard it all, ‘Ladd.” Bjorn chuckled as he made his way towards their shared bed, clawing into his side the entire time. Another rare privilege, getting to tickle the older man. If he were being honest, it was the only way to get him listening in this state. “Come on, bed time.”

“Iihihi tohohold you- I’m nohoohoho brahahhat! Geahha, gehheehhet yooohohur hand-AH!” With a light shove, he was pushed into the cot, slightly dazed at impact. Askeladd opened his mouth to snarl, but the second his face touched the pillow his drunken eyes grew heavy. “I…hm..what was I saying?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Bjorn barely held down a laugh as he watched the older man doze off, low snores rumbling from his throat. He wouldn’t remember any of this by morning. Nor would he likely remember the gentle kiss Bjorn pressed into his whiskery face. “Night, boss.”

I snore was the only response he got in return.

Send me a candy heart and I'll write a dabble for it!