#...how is it only a quarter to 7pm it feels like two hours later

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day whatever the hell we're on now! 330, apparently. Which is an hour before the cat woke me up by screaming in my ear because he was out of food and water. Which, fair, that's a good reason to scream, but at 4:30 am and in my ear?! Jerk cat.

Anyway, Disgusted got redone and I'm happy enough with it that it's now inked and has the beginnings of color worked out! Tomorrow I'll finish that up, and then some time after that I'll figure out what to do with Shocked/Surprised and Silly.

Also, I made food!

I had a spare sweet potato and needed to use the last pound of beef from a 3lb tube of it I'd been using for Hamburger Helper beef stroganoff. Also included is creamed corn, beef ramen, garlic powder, onion powder, onion salt because I ran out of onion powder and it needed more salt anyway, black pepper, and soy sauce. It turned out tasty, but it also didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. If I do this again, I think next time I'm gonna cook the sweet potatoes first, then the beef, use beef broth instead of water to actually cook the things in, and add in some nice Parmesan cheese. Or I may just do it as a risotto; maybe fresh onion instead of powder will tie everything together better. Either way, I liked the taste and learned a couple things about cooking beef with sweet potatoes! Yay, me!

[aventurasdeunatortuga]

Laredo Part 2 Week 2

First photo is yesterday’s grocery haul. Second and third photos show our stock of underwear and boys’ clothes. Fourth photo shows our COVID isolation building, the last photo is the church hall that has been converted into an emergency shelter to accommodate the 200-300 people staying each night at La Frontera. The main shelter building can only accommodate about 150.

I’ve been back in Laredo for about 2 weeks now, which is how long I stayed the last time I was here. I still have about 2 weeks left. Last time I was here I remember being completely and utterly burnt out by the end of 2 weeks and I can feel myself burning out again now.

I’ve been splitting my days between the two shelters, La Frontera and Holding, and they are so different. At La Frontera I feel very welcomed and involved and useful and the people seem a bit friendlier, but the flip side of that is that there is so much chaos and lack of organization it honestly stresses me out so much. There are just so many people in such desperate need all the time and there are maybe 3-4 volunteers each day trying to prioritize which crisis needs to be dealt with first. Usually that ends up being transportation and food. Things like clothing and cleaning and toiletries and organization have fallen by the wayside. We’ve been getting hundreds and hundreds of people in really terrible conditions clear until 2:30 in the morning every single day and we just simply do not have the people needed to make it run smoothly, so volunteers in the evening have just been opening the closet and letting folks grab what they need at random, which results in even more chaos and disorganization. The last few days when I’ve come in there have just been enormous piles of stuff all over the floor and garbage everywhere. It is really stressful.

Yesterday we realized that no one had gone grocery shopping, and there wasn’t much food left in the pantry. I don’t know how that system normally works, if there even is one, from what I can tell it is random volunteers buying food and occasionally community members donating food. We cooked all the food there was and served as many people as we could but here were about 250 people at breakfast who hadn’t eaten in several days.

Most of the groups that come in haven’t eaten in several days, but this group looked truly, truly desperate for food. The children were all screaming and the adults were trying to hold themselves back so as to not push or shove but I could tell it was hard. The heartbreaking part was that we didn’t have enough food for all of them, and about 50 folks went without food. We didn’t even have anything like granola bars or bread slices or cereal or anything to offer them.

Me and one of the nuns went to the grocery store and bought two fulls carts worth of food, we bought this yesterday morning and already today it is almost all gone. I feel frustrated with the leadership at this shelter, it feels like there is none. One of the directors is constantly out of the building driving people places and doesn’t answer her phone and the other is constantly putting out fires with border patrol and the police and the hospital and the city government, etc so she is never there either. The entire shelter depends on the 3-4 community members and out of town volunteers that show up at irregular hours and most of whom only stay for a few days.

The worst part is seeing how this lack of organization impacts the people coming through, who are already dealing with a lot of trauma and I know the chaos here isn’t helping.

But there’s only so much we can do. I started falling apart this morning after wading through so much garbage to try to get through the kitchen. I got very overwhelmed and started getting snappy at people, which doesn’t help anyone. One of the newer volunteers stepped up to help while I took a break. When I came back the both of us were able to get a number of the folks staying at the shelter to help us. We got folks to clean up all the garbage and clean the tables and sweep the floors and help us with the food. They were happy to help and were appreciative of what we were doing.

I’ve been at La Frontera shelter from 9-2 most days, which is usually when we finish serving lunch. Then I head over to Holding Community Center until about 7pm. The difference between the two shelters is night and day. While La Frontera has only 2 paid employees, Holding has 18 employees, most of whom are on site for the entire day 7 days a week. It makes an enormous difference. The flip side of that though is that I don’t feel super helpful there and the people have kind of set systems in place and a few staff members don’t seem very open to volunteers coming in to help as they are overwhelmed and don’t want anyone upsetting their system. It’s also different in that all of the folks staying here stay outside or in the vacant classrooms at the community center, the volunteers all work in a separate building and very rarely directly interact with the folks staying there. So while I’m there I essentially sit at a table and organize baby wipes and baby food for 3.5 hours straight. Then I help serve dinner and then I’m done for the day. We aren’t allowed to directly interact with the folks staying here because there are a lot of cases of COVID on the buses, the folks staying here tested negative but were still exposed so we’re trying to be very careful, but still it is kind of frustrating when folks knock on the door and ask for things like a bottle of water and to hear that I’m not allowed to give them water until a specific time or else everyone is going to be trying to get one. It’s definitely two ends of a spectrum.

I’ve been trying to interact with folks by doing a ‘diaper cart’ every afternoon. I load up a cart with diapers and formula and wipes and just walk around outside offering things to people.

Today I helped serve dinner to the main group of COVID negative people, but then I was also asked to bring dinner over to the group of people who tested positive for COVID. They are being quarantined in an empty warehouse across the street. They have nurses there and everyone wears masks. They have to quarantine for at least 10 days, and receive one change of clothes and a hygiene kit when they first arrive. They get a blanket and a cot and stay there until they recover. I hadn’t been over there before and was a bit nervous about it.

It was truly terrible to see. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a more miserable place. We stood in the doorway while folks lined up by the door. We handed food off to the nurses and they then handed the food to the people waiting in line. There were at least 100 people in there, packed wall to wall on cots and all of them coughing and looking so sick.

The medical team was treating them well and they had the basics that they needed, but it just broke my heart seeing so many sick people in one place. The hospitals will not accept them because they don’t have health insurance. Most were exposed to COVID in ICE detention, because ICE does not test the people they detain and keep people confined in close quarters for extended periods of time. If folks get extremely ill the hospital will accept them for 48 hours. The shelter is the only place in town that will accept them, if the shelter was not there ICE would have just left them on the street.

It’s been a really long week. I’m trying to not let all of this get to me. The most difficult part I think is seeing all of these problems and feeling so powerless to help. At La Frontera shelter it seems like a neverending crisis and lack of resources and organization that me as a part time volunteer cannot realistically fix, which is really hard to accept. There were some rooms I came across today that were in such a state of disarray I just had to close the door and walk away, because there was no way I could take that on. At Holding, there are enough resources and organization, but seeing the people quarantined and seeing the busloads that come in each day of more and more sick people breaks my heart. Right when I was walking out the door at 6:45pm today a busload of 130 more people arrived, and staff was trying to decide if they should feed them or test them for COVID first, because the medical staff and the food team were leaving for the night and they didn’t know what to do. It was hard to accept that there wasn’t really anything I could do in that situation.

I’m trying to do what I can. I’ve been fundraising and have raised around $750 so far. I’m planning on using most of it for underwear and food for La Frontera shelter. Both shelters depend entirely upon donations though and I know that even if I spend all of that money today that all of the donations bought from it would likely be gone by the end of the week.

What really needs to happen here is systemic change. There needs to be drastic changes to our immigration policies, ICE as an institution needs to be shut down or at the bare minimum be investigated for their treatment of folks being detained by them. The fact that people come out of there exposed to COVID and without having eaten for several days is unconscionable. There needs to be government funding and disaster relief teams for folks seeking asylum, it is absurd that a bunch of random volunteers and community organizations are having to take on a humanitarian crisis of this scale.

I’ll go into this in a later post, but the United States is almost entirely responsible for creating the conditions that have caused so many folks to flee their home countries. It is the absolute bare minimum that the US can do to accept folks that are fleeing the situations that we created. They do not want to leave their homes, they are being forced to.

Rant over.

Until next time,

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “John Wick” Part 1

Y/N left The Organization 3 years ago for the one reason strong enough to make her settle down: love. But after tragedy crushed her to pieces, she decided to leave The Joker and seek refuge with an old friend and mentor - John Wick. Needless to say The King of Gotham can’t accept his wife running away without a word, especially since he didn’t have a chance to tell her things she might want to hear.

Part 2     Part 3

Your high heels click on the marble floor, numerous conversations stopping in the hotel’s lobby since you haven’t been seen around in the past 3 years. The concierge can’t hide a smile and you take your sunglasses off, finally making it to the front desk after driving for hours.

“Welcome to the Continental, Miss Y/N. Such a pleasure to see you.”

“Thank you Charon,” you remove 7 gold coins out of your purse and slide them on the counter towards him. “It’s good to see you too.”

“For how long will we have the pleasure of your company?” the man inquires, taking a peek at the computer’s screen to make sure he can shuffle things if needed.

“One night.”

“That will only be 4 coins,” Charon informs and you point out at the tiny pile:

“The rest is for you.”

“Thank you, Miss Y/N,” he smiles again, typing on the keyboard. “Your old room is available; it will be a couple of minutes for us to add a few finishing touches.”

“Sure. Is the manager here?” you ask because you texted him this morning to announce your arrival.

“He’s waiting at the bar,” Charon gestures towards the elevator and you take a deep breath, excited and a bit nervous about the upcoming encounter. “Also, if I may… Allow me to express my deepest condolences.”

You bite on your lip and can’t utter a sound besides nodding your head instead of a reply: although it’s a genuine declaration, it caught you off-guard.

You slowly walk towards the elevator and once inside you press the B button when a hand halts the doors from closing; you know whom those tattooed knuckles belong to. Ares squeezes inside looking like she wants to kill everyone. What else is new?

“I thought that was you,” the woman uses the sign language and you silently gaze at her.

“Which floor?” you sign back.

“10th,” her thumb indicates the number.

The elevator’s doors shut and she analyzes Y/N, deciding to continue the conversation:

“Remember I told you next time we bump into each other I’m going to kill you?” the mute assassin’s threat brings a faint smirk on your lips.

“Shut up,” you elbow her and the smartass response doesn’t fail:

“I’m always as quiet as a mouse.”

You chuckle and Ares grins at her own cleverness, having a nice suggestion for the evening.

“I have the night off; wanna meet later for dinner?”

You are tired as hell but a distraction doesn’t hurt.

“Will 7pm work?” you accept the invitation.

“Awesome!” she signs, delighted you two can catch up. “They have new items on the menu you would enjoy,” Ares winks then her enthusiasm gradually dies out. “I’m sorry about…,” the discussion takes a serious tone and you sniffle, trying hard not to cry.

“Thank you,” you touch your chin and the ding sound reveals its first destination. “I have to bail; I’ll see you soon,” you step out of the elevator and she remains inside.

“It’s a date!” she signs, concerned you’ll burst out in tears as soon as she’s gone.

Yet after the elevator’s door close, Y/N manages to pull herself together; God knows it’s not easy to pretend she’s fine following the tragedy of losing someone she loved with all her heart.

The individual waiting for her at one of the tables at the bar can definitely notice the struggle behind the tired eyes; Winston sipps from his martini and gets up, opening his arms in anticipation.

“There you are,” he gives you a hug, then invites you to sit down.

“Hello Winston,” you place your purse on the floor and Continental’s owner is attempting to small talk:

“Please make an old man happy and confirm your return.”

“You’re anything but old,” you emphasize while he snorts, amused. “I’m not sure; I have to figure out some personal stuff…”

“Of course,” Winston agrees right away given the situation. “Mmmm… I’m terribly sorry for your loss,“ he addresses the heartbroken Y/N.

“Thank you…” you mumble, avoiding eye contact since the painful subject hurts more than any physical wound you ever sustained.

“I wanted to come attend the funeral yet I was out of the country,” the man underlines.

“No worries. I appreciate the flowers you sent… …”

Moments of complete stillness before Winston changes the topic; he knows better than to prolong your agony. A manager with his flair can at least guess the extenuating circumstances that led to your presence on the premises.

“Any plans for the near future?”

“I’m going to stay with Jonathan until I decide.”

Winston wishes to suggest a couple of options but he’s interrupted by your warning:

“Someone might come searching for me.”

He taps his fingernails against the martini glass, the weak echo dissipating in the background noise.

“Is that someone…somebody’s husband?” his furrowed eyebrows prompt an answer not difficult to estimate:

“More like… ex-husband…”

The manager inhales, debating on your confession.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” he reassures without any hesitation; heaven knows a domestic dispute is the last kind of mess Continental needs but it will probably pass undetected. “Would you care for a drink?”

Suddenly, Winston’s cell goes off and he retrieves it out of his suit’s pocket, apologizing for the delay.

“I’m sorry, I really have to get this,” he slides the screen, attentively listening to the person speaking. “Are you kidding me?!” the man raises his voice with contempt. “Damn…,” he rubs his forehead, annoyed. "Well, he brought it upon himself! Transfer me,” the manager passes the sentence without hesitation after his call reaches the correct department. ”Accounts payable: 11111. Effective immediately: Magnus Stonnenberg, excommunicado. Open contract: 2 million dollars. Distribution: international,” and he hangs up. “Work never ends,” Winston adds even if it’s not necessary; you are perfectly aware how the company works and what it means to run it.

“What happened?” you curiously investigate.

“Trouble on the 15th floor: Magnus murdered Anuscka Volovdya on the hotel grounds, thus I have to implement punitive measures. This is neutral environment and the rules are clear: no killing. Cocktail?” he lifts his glass up and you politely decline.

“No, thank you.  If it’s all the same, I will retreat to my quarters. It was a very long drive and I can’t wait to freshen up. I will come see you in the morning before I leave; would that be ok?”

“Of course,” Winston stands up in the same time with you, a faint smile lingering on his face as he watches you distancing yourself from the bar. He didn’t see you in a long time and he can tell that although you look pretty much the same, something has certainly changed.

Everyone’s cells start chiming and ringing, including yours: the text messages keep on popping up with the manager’s most recent order regarding Stonnenberg.

You wander along the small corridor leading the stairs when at the corner Magnus almost crashes into you; he seems distressed and no big surprise due to his present predicament.

“Are you back?” he hisses while quickening the pace in the opposite direction because he wants to get the hell out of there.

“No,” the short acknowledgement triggers his cockiness mixed with relief.

“Great! One less to worry about!”

You frown at the unnecessary statement: pursuing a bounty is not financial gain you are momentarily interested in; you have more important problems on your plate and chasing a persona non grata isn’t on your list.

************

Next evening, 7:13pm

“There you are!” John exclaims as soon as he sees you. “Come on in,” he grabs the two suitcases out of your hands, leading the way around the house. “Did you get stuck in traffic?”

“Yes,” you close the door and follow him into one of the bedrooms downstairs already prepared for your visit. “Traffic was terrible, took me one hour to pass Lincoln Avenue.”

“Well…” he places the luggage by the bed, “I’m glad you made it.”

“Me too… Thank you so much for letting me stay here, Jonathan.”

Despite having his hair in a ponytail, the shorter strands slide out and John blows them off his cheeks, irritated.

“Yeah, absolutely. Plenty of space.”

“What’s that smell?” you sniff the air, intrigued.

“I cooked chicken Alfredo.”

“Oh no,” you crinkle your nose and he laughs at your despair. “Are your skills as bad as I remember?”

“Worse,” he admits. “Helen is not here to guide… me…”, John swallows the last word and you feel compelled to soothe his grief.

“I’m sorry she’s gone… You had a terrific partner…”, you sadly smile and continue . “We pay such a heavy price for leaving the organization… I must say you got a better deal than I did.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds and you could swear there’s no trace of Baba Yaga inside him; I suppose this is John Wick’s greatness: his ability to switch from an apparent normal guy to the deadliest assassin in a blink of an eye.

“Umm… do you want me to help you unpack?” he breaks the silence and you lift the first suitcase on the bed, opening the metal clasps.

“I don’t have a lot; just some basic necessities,” you explain and gulp when you take out the device you use on a regular basis. “I… I still pump the milk and… and throw it away since I don’t have my baby to feed anymore…”

Jonathan exhales, sensitive to the mother’s sorrow: he knows a thing or two about losing a loved one and Y/N uncontrollably sobbing triggers emotions he kept bottled up for weeks. He pulls you in his arms and you hug him back, hopelessly crying on his shoulder after displaying such restraint in the past days.  

“Why didn’t he drive the car? Why?” you keep on repeating the question and John understands what you’re referring to:

Two months ago The Joker was supposed to bring his three weeks old son from the beach house to The Penthouse and didn’t; he had a meeting and instead he sent one of his henchmen to drive Kase back to you and they never made it. There was a horrible accident on Glissan Street: the car was smashed to pieces by a huge truck, both driver and the baby dying on impact. You couldn’t stop blaming your husband for his indifference regarding the safety of his own child. I supposed the meeting and making money was infinitely more critical than driving his son home.

Maybe if J navigated the vehicle, he would have taken another route and you would still have your tiny treasure right now. 

You’re calming down a bit and John wipes your tears, upset to see you broken beyond anything he could ever fix.

“Do you want to lie down?”

“No,” you whimper and fight to regain your composure. “I’m a little bit hungry…”

“Well,” your friend puckers his lips, “depending on how bad it is we might have to order something. Shall I…call anybody for you?” he hints and surely didn’t predict the reply:

“My anybody is probably too busy with his mistress or planning a heist, can’t be bothered with any type of insignificant matters.”

Your friend seems shocked and you enlighten the mystery for him:

“I followed J so I know… That’s why I decided enough is enough. I packed minimum necessary in a hurry and left… … …I should have killed him… …” your voice dies out and your attitude proves Jonathan that you most than likely tried to. “Can we eat now please?”

“Should I actually order Italian?” he plays along for your sake.

“I’ll try the chicken Alfredo first.”

“Shit! You’re brave,” his brutal honesty makes you giggle and whimper in the same time. “C’mon then, food’s on the stove.  Hopefully we’ll survive,” he smirks and you nod in agreement, grateful to have a soul to talk to since your husband’s lack of empathy made it so much harder to cope with your son’s demise.

***************

Same evening, 7:30pm – Continental Hotel

“Mister Joker,” Winston greets The King of Gotham. “Welcome to New York!”

The gush of wind sweeping the terrace on top of the building messes J’s locks and for once he couldn’t care less.

“Hello Winston,” your spouse growls, barely able to concentrate after he slept a couple of hours the previous night.

“Grape juice on ice?” the manager’s hospitality emerges out of necessity because The Clown isn’t exactly the easiest character to accommodate.

“Is my wife here?” J quizzes, ignoring Winston’s cordiality.

“Walk with me,” the hotel owner persuades your husband; they move alongside the concrete path bordered by decorative shrubs as information is shared. “Y/N was here.”

“She’s gone?”

“Yes.”

“Where did she go?” The Joker sneers.

Winston fails to spill the beans and J is aware he can’t push for a disclosure, not with a high ranking member of the organization. So he attempts a different strategy.

“Imagine my surprise when I returned home after a meeting just to find out my wife abandoned the nest,” he shows management a post-it with your handwritten note:

Do what you want with the rest.

“She just took a few things, thus I have to personally discuss with her a very crucial dilemma: what am I supposed to do with the baby’s items? I have a room full of them. So I’m asking: WHERE.IS.MY.WIFE?”

“Mister Joker, you forget that in my line of business I am good at reading people and I can tell when they lie,” Winston elegantly throws it out there for the heck of it.

The King of Gotham halts and cracks his neck, displeased with the comment.

“Then tell me, am I lying?!”

The manager sighs, carefully analyzing J’s features: although he looks pretty much the same, something has certainly changed.

“Maybe she’s staying with a friend,” he insinuates and your husband articulates a sentence rarely spoken aloud:

“Thank you,” J stomps away, already having a few ideas about your whereabouts.

Winston huffs, intrigued to have discerned a crazy detail while reading The Clown’s reactions: besides the fact he wasn’t lying, something else stood out. 

“He loves her…” management mumbles to himself. “I bet he doesn’t even know it.”

*************

10:34 pm

John softly knocks at the cracked bedroom’s door, unsure if you’re awake or not.

“Y/N, do you need anything before I go to sleep?”

There’s no answer and he creeps inside only to see you passed out with your hand hanging over the side of the bed. Jonathan tucks you in, feeling awkward about your unresponsiveness.

“Hey, are you ok?” he gently shakes you and freezes when he realizes there’s an empty pill bottle on the nightstand.

“Oh God!” he panics and reads the label. “Trazodone 300 mg: Take 1 tablet by mouth nightly for depression/insomnia.” That’s the highest dose for the medication and he taps on your cheeks, concerned you took a bunch of them at once. “Y/N, Y/N! Can you hear me?!”

You moan and open your eyes, unhappy to be woken up in such a hasty fashion.

“Jesus, lemme sleep... would you?!...” you grumble and turn on the other side, groggy from the drug.

“How many sleeping pills did you take?” John doesn’t give up and you yawn:

“One…my last one…” you adjust your body on the comfortable mattress, not comprehending why your host is agitated. “I’m exhausted…” you close your eyes and he lingers next to your bed, relieved the situation was a misinterpretation from his part.

**************

11:32am, New York

“Oh my…”The Bowery King deciphers a missive a dove flew in 10 minutes ago; he got a whiff of some valuable data yesterday and the new documentation is by far the best conspiracy and revenge scheme he stumbled upon this year. “Would you look at that,” the man grins, caressing the bird’s feathers. “What do you think?” he addresses the winged companion. “Should we be nice and tell Y/N and Mister Joker their son is not dead?”

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[snmin10]

Sleep No More Shanghai: (Delayed) Highlights

*This was written over a year ago and I just rediscovered it in drafts, so some info (particularly castings) may be outdated*

It has been 2 years and 600 shows since Sleep No More opened in Shanghai. Of those 600 shows, I’ve attended around 14 of them - half in early 2017 and half in late 2018. Travelling half way around the world to watch a theatre performance is a bizarre concept to many people, but I’ve never left disappointed. Spending days full of real-world discovery and evenings full of Punchdrunk-world discovery makes for a very happy trip indeed.

Show-wise, this most recent visit was possibly even better than the first. Some of that may be familiarity, but it’s also down to small changes in the format, logistics and narrative. There’s a concern, especially when travelling so far, that expectations may not be met. But that wasn’t the case. 

SNM Shanghai has developed. Interestingly, according to conversations with some local fans, certain changes - especially those to the narrative - have had mixed responses. But for me as a visitor, every single show I saw had moments of genuine thoughtfulness and inspiration. It felt like care for the show often came from both sides; not just from impassioned audience members projecting their love of the format, but also cast and crew members striving to create a piece of art that is beautiful, and ever-changing.

Some highlights...

- Dull housekeeping highlight: the queuing system has been updated and is great. I’m sure I can’t be the only one who’s interested in queues (what can I say, I’m British) so here’s a quick breakdown. Upon arrival there are now two parallel, roped queues outside the front of building: one for on-the-hour ticket holders and one for the quarter past ticket holders (there are signs in Mandarin and English to show which is which). People are strictly let in according to the time on their tickets, so I imagine that these two queues become the half past and quarter to queues later on. On-the-hour ticket holders were let through to collect their tickets from a small hut about half an hour before the show started. We then entered the building, went through cloakroom (still free, hoorah) and receiving playing cards. It appears that playing cards are still shuffled about a bit, with a chance of either an Ace or a 2 if you’re one of the first in. 

- Quick shout out to the security guard who monitors the queue and lets people through. He does a stellar job, to the extent that every single show he made a point of picking us out in the queue to wave the 7pm sign at us. Despite having been there a few nights on the trot, he remained extremely skeptical that we ever truly understood the system. He was extremely friendly and we never went wrong under his watchful eye.

- Big bonus: on-the-hour ticket holders get a free pre-show drink in the Manderley! We had no idea, but a kind crew member ushered us over to the bar. You can choose from a number of drinks, including a couple of cocktails and mocktails. They were good. 

- Man and Woman in Bar made an appearance a few minutes before the first lift and usually performed a song before calling the Aces. Zhu Sujie’s Daphne was a highlight in this role - effortlessly charming and attentive. I always prefer an accessible Person in Bar, rather than someone intimidating. Daphne had the knack of making audience members feel comfortable and not ‘put on the spot’ when making conversation.  

- On the second show I exited the lift on the ground level, walked into the ballroom and stopped dead in my tracks: James Finnemore Banquo! A favourite Drowned Man performer, I had no idea he had travelled over to Sleep No More. He’s such a delicate, introspective performer and I’ve always enjoyed his dancing - his pre-hoedown, bar-top solo as Andy in TDM in particular. I thought he’d make an excellent Groom, and sure enough, I got to see it on the third show. 

- Speaking of castings, I’m sure there’s a good reason as to why Ed Warner isn’t playing Boy Witch, but I have no idea what that is. 

- Debby is one of the few performers who (as far as I know) has been in place since my first visit in early 2017. Her Bride is captivating and uncomfortable in all the right ways. That loop is such a rich addition to the show. In amongst all the subtleties and mysteries of a Punchdrunk show, hers is such a satisfyingly clear narrative that makes the downfall all the more affecting. I think she rivals Banquo for the best choreography in the show. 

- The surprise of seeing a familiar interaction from New York turn into something altogether greater for the chosen audience member. It ended, around 10 minutes later, on a completely different floor with different characters. The complexity of the interaction reminded me of The Drowned Man; how a certain audience member could feel like they’d, without realising, stepped into a funnel that led them to something, or somewhere, else entirely. Specifically, it reminded me of how sometimes after the Conrad’s Studio 8 1:1, you would get spit out into the basement and straight into an oncoming Stanford, who would grab you and tell you to keep what you’d just seen a secret. 

- In fact, that feeling of ‘riding the wave’ seems such more present in Shanghai than in New York. There are a number of interactions that are chosen by a different character to the one you end up with. That lack of control is marvellous. 

- Wang Mingchao’s Boy Witch was absolutely ace. Fickle, flirtatious and zero fucks given. I like a petite Boy Witch and his was full-on, spreading the Boy Witch love thinly across anyone and everyone in the vicinity. 

- Another powerhouse was Ching-I Chang’s Sexy Witch, who I followed first loop of my first show without even realising who she was. She’s a performer who commands attention and always seemed to have a devoted gaggle of followers whenever I saw her. Perhaps it was just her exceptional posture, but I think she’d be a brilliant Lady Macbeth. 

- Can I just say how much I like Simon Palmer and Laure Bachelot? I never spent much time with them during The Drowned Man (did Simon return as Harry on the final night or am I imagining things?) but they are both such generous and inclusive performers. Even when playing Speakeasy and Lady Macbeth respectively, they have a warmth to them that’s hard to resist. 

- Walking into a Shanghai-exclusive 2:1 on my final show that I never knew existed, and which I only received because the intended recipient backed away in horror at the hand being offered to him. I hope that audience member doesn’t regret denying the invitation, but I am very grateful to them whoever they are (and not too proud to be second choice!).

- New spaces: a connecting corridor on the 5th floor, a spooky nook in the 3rd floor graveyard. I found the latter while following Danvers. It’s interesting that no matter how many times you’ve seen a show, your heart does a total newbie-lurch and you get the jitters as soon as you’re in an unfamiliar space. Is that what it felt like the first time?? 

- New moments: a Boy Witch/Malcolm interaction by the ballroom. I couldn’t really see through the crowds - are they dancing?

- Having spent lots of time with Olly over the years - as Dwayne in TDM, as Macduff and Porter in New York, I spent little time with him here. But it always made me chuckle to see him pass by, 5 minutes into the show, having already accrued about 200 audience members. 

[theflenser]

DEATH AND DISPLACEMENT

Sometimes I wonder how many hours, in total, I've spent working at degrading low level jobs that mean absolutely nothing to me or my life. Thousands, certainly. Hundreds of thousands? Perhaps.  

Every night around 7PM I park my piece of shit van about eight blocks from my piece of shit job and walk beneath the I-35 overpass, dragging my feet along the sidewalk as I hear the din from the nightclubs grow louder, the slurring roar of inebriation and weak-willed lust trickling into my head like a toxic gas, reminding me that although I've been sober for over seven years, my life still doesn't amount to much more than a sad, tired, pathetic joke. A grimy quarter marinating at the bottom of a plastic cup half full of stale, cheap beer. Before I reach the overpass, on the corner of Holly Street and San Marcos Street, there is a telephone pole covered with rusted staples and nail heads that were once used to hold up posters and signs, long since forgotten and weathered away. Whenever I pass this telephone pole, I always stop and say a little mantra to myself that helps me to feel a little less anxious and brings a moment of peaceful awareness to my mind. After I finish the mantra I knock three times on the telephone poll and then continue walking. It's an unusual habit, but I've been doing it for years, and the few times where I've forgotten to do it I feel like I later paid some kind of inner emotional toll for the oversight. As such, I try to never forget.  

I tell people I'm a "bouncer" because it sounds slightly more romantic and dangerous than the truth. The truth is that I'm a door jockey...greeting, carding, and granting entry to a neverending onslaught of shamelessly entitled little bags of piss and puke that frequent the strip where I work. Rainey Street...once a neglected row of condemned houses and crack dens, now since converted into an upscale alcoholic playland for inbred oil money academics and closeted country club racists. I've lost count of how many times I've fantasized about hurting these people...about killing these people....but instead I just keep showing up, clocking in, and cleaning up after them. Ten dollars an hour and a lifetime supply of resentment and self loathing. I realize that I'm no better than them. In fact, I know that I am much worse. I choose to be here, wallowing in my bile of regret, disappointment, and disgust. I don't deserve to live any more than they do. But unlike them, I have no illusions as to what I am.  

One Sunday night, around 3:30 AM, I clock out and start walking the eight blocks back to my van. There aren't many people out at this hour, save for other sevice industry losers like myself, the occasional gaggle of die hard street drunks, and the faceless unfortunates who have no homes to return to. As I near the overpass, I see a woman in a car parked along the feeder road lean her head out the drivers side window and spew vomit down the side of her car door and over the curb. I hear her start the engine and watch as she pulls out into the road and speeds off without bothering to turn her headlights on. I shake my head as I cross the street and step beneath the overpass, which is well lit and lined on either side with tents and makeshift cardboard shelters. There is no movement and no sound audible above the ambient white hum of intermittent traffic passing by above me. As I am about to step beneath the overhead gap that separates the north and southbound lanes, I hear a sound...no, I feel a sound unlike anything I have ever experienced before or since. The only way I can describe it is to say that it sounded as though the sky were being torn open, as though something great and unimaginable was trying to claw its way into our reality from some unknown dimension. It is absolutely terrifying, and my first instinct is to turn around and start running, even though I have no idea what's happening. I only make it a few paces before I return to my senses, and as the sound becomes less deafening I hear it morph from an immense cacophony into something more recognizable, the sound of metal on metal, the crunching of steel and broken glass. I turn around and look up through the gap between the lanes of the highway and see that the night sky has been partially blotted out by rectangular paneling. I see the shape of a wheel spinning freely in the air, connected to the paneling, but disconnected from it's purpose. I smell smoke and gasoline and realize that I am looking up at the back end of an overturned semi truck.

I stand there for a moment, looking up in disbelief. I hear some cursing and grunting from within one or more of the makeshift shelters and then everything is silent. I continue on, heading towards the other side of the overpass to where my van is parked. When I reach the other side of the interstate I turn around and look up. I can see the wreckage of the semi and at least one other vehicle. There is dark smoke curling upwards into the sky. All of a sudden I hear the faint sound of a baby crying.  

Without thinking about it, I sprint up the side of the gravel embankment and pull myself over the guard rail and onto the shoulder of the highway where the wreck is. The semi truck is both completely jackknifed and toppled over, the rear portion of the tractor trailer stretching horizontally across the space between the two lanes. There is no discernible movement from within the cab. The other vehicle is practically unrecognizable, though it appears to have been some sort of luxury sedan. The back half of it has been completely crushed and the front end is a tangle of impossible angles and certain death. The windshield, somehow still intact, is now a nearly opaque white map of cracks and serpentine splintering, the drivers side half of it folded outwards like a partially open book. The vehicle is filled with blackish smoke, and it's clear that the sound of the crying is coming from within what is left of the car. About ten feet away, lying amid the rubble of glass and debris, is the shape of a man lying on his side. My heart freezes as I see movement and realize that he is still alive. I walk towards him and I can see that he is desperately trying to crawl back towards the vehicle and the sound of the crying baby. It's at this moment that I become aware of something incredibly strange. I look north towards the direction of downtown, and then turn my head in the opposite direction, looking southward to where the highway stretches away from the city. Looking in both directions I can see that there are no vehicles approaching from either direction. The highway is completely deserted. Even at this hour that seems impossible, especially this close to downtown. It's as though the world has fallen asleep, and the only things left awake are me, this man, and the baby crying from within the automobile behind me. As soon as this thought enters my mind I hear the crying suddenly choke up and cease. Everything is silent again. I look down at the man and see his face is covered with blood. One of his legs appears to be completely destroyed, the pant leg a flattened mound of blood and sinew. There is a bone jutting out through the front of his shirt near his throat, possibly a rib or a collarbone. I'm no doctor so I can't say for sure which. The man appears to have no awareness of what is happening, yet he continues to try and crawl towards the vehicle, pulling himself an inch at a time with one arm, his ruined leg and torso leaving a trail of blood behind him. All at once I recognize the man. He's a regular at the bar where I work. I've seen him there many times over the years, sometimes with his wife, sometimes with other women, and sometimes alone. When he's there alone he always stands in the same spot, drink clutched in his hand, scanning the room for available females like a hawk surveying a field for hapless mice and squirrels. He's just one of countless others who follow this same pattern. That's the nature of the environment.  

I kneel down next to him and lean in close to his ear. I can smell a mixture of blood and booze wafting up from his open mouth. One of his eyes is swollen shut and there are shards of glass stuck into his cheek and forehead.

"Stop it. Stop it right now." I speak directly into his ear. "It's over. Your baby is dead, and so are you." I don't feel pity for this man, or contempt. I don't feel anything at all. "What were you doing driving around drunk at four in the morning with your baby in the car?"  

It's clear that he can't hear me. He stretches out his arm again to try and pull himself closer to the wreckage and I put my foot down on his hand.  

"I said stop it, motherfucker."  

Suddenly his upper body lurches forward and a mixture of blood and yellow fluid dribbles out of his mouth onto the concrete. There is a gargling sound coming from his throat. I slide my boot under his shoulder and flip him over onto his back. The gargling sound intensifies. From the corner of my eye I see the blue and red strobing of police cruisers heading towards us on the feeder road from the direction of the courthouse on 7th street. The world appears to have woken back up. I look down at the man's face and take a deep breath. The gargling has stopped and he appears to breathing again. I realize that it's possible he might actually live.  

In one rapid, fluid motion I raise up my boot about knee high and bring it back down as hard as I can against his throat. I feel it collapse between my heel and the pavement. Blood and fluid shoot up from his mouth directly into my face and across the lens of my glasses. I lick my lips and taste gin and iron. I take one last look at the cab of the semi and what's left of the sedan. No movement. No sound. I turn around and dart back down the embankment towards Holly street where my van is parked. When I get to the corner of Holly and San Marcos I stop at the telephone pole and clean my glasses with my shirt. I look up towards the moon and recite the mantra:

"I love you God. Thank you for everything. Please keep me sober for the rest of my life. Until Death, God, keep me sober. I love you God. Thank you for everything."

I knock three times on the telephone pole, walk the rest of the way to my van and drive straight home, where I sleep more soundly than I have in years.  

[shoemon]

Intermittent Fasting is the answer?

I have been trying the (arguably) hottest trend in fitness world, Intermittent fasting for over a month now. And I was surprised by the experience. Here are my lessons:

Stubborn fat I joined a gym 2 months ago that let me measure body fat %.- which was 19% . Some research later I realised that by all ranges, I was considered really fit and away from dangers of heart diseases etc.(corroborated by blood tests of cholesterol etc.). The gym trainer gave me a goal to lose 4Kgs of fat and gain 3kgs of muscle, which would put me in 14% body fat composition. If you check out this visual estimate, you will see that 14% is quite aspirational.  A lot of research later I found 2 things to consider - Diet and Exercise . Losing fat is faster - the more fat you have. The more you lose, the harder it gets to lose more. For example, if you maintain the same diet and exercise in June and July, you may lose 2 units of fat in June and 1 unit of fat in July. Lesson: You have to keep changing your diet and exercise based on where you are at. To go below 19% body fat % means you have to increase the rigor of the workouts and continue cardio. I started doing heavy weights 3 days a week, and yoga for 2 days. And throw in a day of running and a day of rest.  

Diet This was slightly difficult to figure out. I am very against a super restrictive diet - the kind that doesn’t let you enjoy life. Don’t get me wrong - I LOVE healthy food, but sometimes you need your beer and fries. So I began researching techniques or tricks that would help me keep my moderate balanced calorific diet, and here enters Intermittent Fasting(IF)

What is Intermittent Fasting? In very simple terms - IF is when you restrict your eating to only a fixed period of time and eat nothing for the rest. For me, I adopted the eat for 8 hours and nothing for 16 hours routine. It sounds scary at first but this is how it looks like - you just skip breakfast. Say you have lunch at 1pm, snack at 4pm, snack at 7pm, dinner at 9pm - and then 16 hours gap, then lunch at 1pm.

Tips to get-by 16 hours:

Water water and more water. Your body uses fasting period to flush toxins, clean up your food passage, cells repair themselves, and insulin level stabilises. You NEED to drink a lot more water during fasting time than you would normally. It also helps to sip water when you feel hungry. 

Green/black tea or black coffee. No milk or honey or sugar. Basically no calories should go into your body. 

Get full 8 hours sleep! I look forward to morning coffee and feeling light till lunch.

Tips on what to eat in those 8 hours:

IF is not about eating less, it is about eating right, and the right time. So you have to fulfil the calorific and nutritional requirements in those 8 hours. I tend to eat lunch, a snack in 2 hours, then another snack in 2 hours, and dinner in 2 hours.  Workout is usually between the two snacks

Vegetables and fruits should make up for 50% of your intake, and rest 25% for carbs and proteins, each. If you are used to Indian food, half your plate should be filled with sabji, a quarter with dal/meat/fish, and a quarter with grain. I try to have millets or wheat based stuff over rice, as they have higher fibre content.

Below is how a snack might look like

Working out while fasting

I did a lot of research on this and apparently, working out while fasting is very beneficial! It is counter-intuitive but you can do some digging yourself to find out more

When you workout on fast, your body learns to use Fat for energy, in place of carbohydrates. This process is called ketosis. In simple terms, you are training your body to burn more fat!

Till now I have tried an upper body+HIIT of 30mins, and ran for 30mins. I don’t recommend doing more, just because I felt quite drained. And any further, body would break down muscles to fuel the workout.

You must eat immediately after working out during a fast. So I strategically would exercise towards the end of the IF like at 14th hour.

Below is the end result of a run. Slow, but fulfilling. I

Tips on what NOT to do when IFing:

Do not overeat or eat junk during those 8 hours. Your body will take the sugars and store them as fat, as it knows it won’t get food for 16 hours. Thus, defeating the purpose.

Be lazy and don’t do any activity. You will experience placebo effect for a few days where you’ll think you don’t have the energy to do things, but its just your brain doing its thing.

Just “try” a spoon of something. Nope, IF is not about just creating calorie deficit. It is about “fasting” and the benefits that brings. A spoon of food will break the fast and your body will get confused.

My Results: 

I lost 1% fat in a month, so went down from 19 to 18%. Turns out this is safe and doable  Doesn’t seem much, but if I continue this - should be getting to 15% in 3-4 months. 

I have also dropped an inch-ish on the waist(from 30 to 29)

I felt lighter, fresher, and not bloated. The body get’s to completely clean out in those 16 hours.

I also feel much more aware of my body. IF has pushed me to constantly look inwards, analyse how I am feeling, how the body is functioning, and be in control!

Who should not do IF:

When sick or unwell

People newly into fitness

Anyone with any diabetes or blood sugar issues

Pregnant women

People with Food disorders 

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a nutritionist. Just sharing my experience, and you must do your own research and consult the right people before trying it out.

[bbbb-barnes]

Dance With The Devil [ 2 ] - A Mobster!Bucky X Reader.

Summery- You’re a hard working NYU student that left a small town childhood of gangs, drugs and violence behind. When you find out your mother is struggling you go back home to help, only to realise the gang your father used to run has become ruthless, however a handsome and dangerous man from your families rival gang catches your eyes and you can’t seem to stay away.  (I am bad at summeries, if anybody can write a better one SLIDE IN MY DM’S ill love u) 

SLIDE IN MY DM’S ANYWAYS requests are open or just come for a chat and let me know what u think x

Say hello to my greasy beefy boi 

Warnings- Swearing, mentions of violence. 

You had been home for approximately 3 hours and you were already bored. Your mother had stopped doting on you and allowed you to settle in your room and after you had attempted to chat to your seriously ill grandmother for half an hour you needed some time to yourself. Your preppy room was exactly the same as you had left it when you were 18, the old pictures of you and your friends you had gotten printed off at the convenience store around the corner for a quarter each were tacked on to the pale pink wall and curling at the edges, there was a ‘Toy Story’ poster on your wall which made you chuckle so you kept it up, the thing that made you cringe however was the bright pink and yellow polka dot sheets and matching bedspread, they needed to go. You quickly packed your clothes away, taking note how colourless your current wardrobe is compared to the bright clashing patterns of your younger years. It was so strange being back, you felt like you had just slipped back into your old life, your mom was downstairs making dinner and you could have easily been 17 again and studying for an algebra test on your garish bedspread, it was all very nostalgic. You padded down the stairs and eagerly followed the delicious scent of food. You found your mother hunched over a large pot on the stove humming to herself, various spices littering the marbled side.

“Smells great, Ma” you complimented as you slid onto the kitchen stool opposite, she glanced up from the pot and gave you a grateful grin. Your mother was a beautiful woman, she kept her beauty in to her older adult years, albeit with a few grey hairs and extra wrinkles around her deep hazel eyes.

“Thank you dear, do you mind watching the pot I have a quick errand to run” she sighed as she untied her apron and placed the steel lid back on to the simmering pot, she sounded tired and it made you frown, she had been working extra time as a cleaner recently to help pay for your Grandmothers medical bills, she then had to come home and care for her and it was clearly taking its toll.

“I’ll do it, you look exhausted” you quickly offered, thinking the fresh air would do you some good anyways, however for some reason your mother didn’t look convinced. She smoothed down her blouse.

“I’ll just mess up dinner and I have to go to the store anyway” you quickly reasoned, but she still softly shook her head, the concerned expression not leaving her face, first Steve and now your mom, the secrecy was getting annoying, your scowl obviously said more than words ever could as she flopped down on to the stool opposite you.

“Y/N, dear I need to collect my wages from my boss James, but James is a high-ranking member of The Commando’s, you can’t go over there” she was uneasy, and you could tell, and you felt like your eyes were going to roll back into your head.

“If I hear about this god damn ‘gang’ again today I’m going to scream. I’ll go” you told her firmly, standing up and dramatically pushing the bar-stool away from you but she caught your arm with her hand.

“I wish you would start taking this a little more seriously, I thought Steve would talk some sense into you today” she warned you, not letting go of your arm.

“I don’t understand this at all, first of WHY are you working for this man, secondly how are you even in contact with Steve if they’re all so dangerous.” You admitted defeat and flopped back on to the bar-stool, eager to get some answers.

Your mother ran a hand through her wispy hair and looked wistfully into the distance as she prepared to answer.

“I know James’s mother, we were friends long before any of our families got involved in this gang business and we remain friends, we promised not to let that get in the way of our friendship, although it’s getting harder to do that recently. As a favour to his mother James gave me a job cleaning his house for good money, I won’t say he’s overly pleasant to me but he’s the reason I can pay Nonna’s medical bills, so I don’t complain. Steve is a lovely boy, he knows what happened at the hands of your father, he’s the reason that god awful gang leave me alone, but they all secretly think that I’m still working for your Uncle Jack, and with you back in town they think that’s more reason to be suspicious in their opinion, they think he’s training you up to be a part of the Moretti’s or something stupid. You need to stay away, you’ll just be used as a pawn for their horrible games, they’re always looking for a reason to declare all out war on each other.” She told you very matter-of-factly, you took a few moments to process her words and honestly all they did was make you angry. You weren’t property and you certainly weren’t going to be used as some kind of pawn in pathetic fights, the fact this James guy seemed to treat your mother like shit didn’t make you feel much better either, but you had made a promise to stay out of the way and as much as you wanted to storm into that guys house and tell him to grow the fuck up, for everybody’s sake you didn’t.

“Okay, I’ll be good” you finally admitted defeat to the obvious surprise of your mother and you watched begrudgingly as she pulled on her coat and hurried out of the door, you considered following her but decided if you were seen it would do more harm that good. She returned 10 minutes later, her facial expression giving no indication as to how it went, and you simply didn’t ask, the less you knew the better it had seemed.

After scarfing down two helpings of spaghetti and watching your mother painstakingly try and get her mother to eat you had offered to do the dishes in a lacklustre attempt to not have to watch. You stood over the faucet lost in your own thoughts, it was nearing 7PM and you were seriously in need of some sugary snacks, the worst rom-com Netflix had to offer and comfy (not neon) bedsheets. You assessed your oversized sweatshirt and skinny jeans and decided it was acceptable to leave the house in them. The problem of transportation being the only thing stopping you from a family sized bag of skittles, in New York driving was always the inferior option, however in New York you could get almost anything delivered straight to your door, Ubers Eats didn’t seem to be active here. You softly snaked around the living room door, your mom was sat on the sofa next to your grandmother, they both seemed to be engrossed in a cooking show, the light of the TV illuminating the cosy room.

“Ma, do you think I could possibly borrow the car, I need to run to the store?”  You asked in a sugary sweet voice, automatically you were transported to when you were 17 and had to ask to borrow the car to go to the Dairy Queen a town over with your friends. Your mother seemed to have the same thought as she grinned up at you with a fond shake of her head.

“Of course, dear, be careful” she handed her keys over to you and settled back into the sofa as you made your way to the driveway and into the black Nissan Versa.

The drive to the only Wal Mart in town was therapeutic, you had always enjoyed going for drives when things got a bit too much. You recalled driving to the state line listening to Fleetwood Mac once when you had first got your licence after somebody threw a brick through your living room window and your parents got into a fight about it. You sped through the now dark streets, the route coming back to you like muscle memory.

Lazily grabbing a shopping cart you slouched around the linoleum floors, the fluorescent lights making you squint slightly, you didn’t know what you wanted so you decided to just grab a little bit of everything, you weren’t particularly in a rush to get back home so you wheeled your cart to the candy isle where you came to a complete stop to consider your options, you reached for a bag of Twizlers when you heard the painstakingly familiar voice of a certain blonde and muscled ex neighbour, was this town really that small?

“Y/N” his voice was slightly raised as he hurried toward you with a large bag of chips in his hand.

“Hey Steve” you greeted casually, turning your attention back to the shelves and the various flavours of Oreo’s.

“What are you doing here?” he sounded slightly flustered and you turned to look at him with a scowl.

“Its Wal-Mart Steve, am I not permitted to be here? Is it past my curfew?” you retorted sarcastically, throwing the cookies into your cart with a little more force than needed as he looked over his shoulder.  

“Sorry” he replied a little sheepishly and you waved him off, running a hand through your hair and you wheeled your cart further down the aisle, out of your peripheral you saw him follow you.

“Watcha’ buying?” you asked, mainly out of politeness as he seemed dead set on following you, you grabbed two bags of M&M’s, one crunchy and one chocolate as you weighed on what felt like the most important decision of the day, you furrowed your brows slightly.

“Oh, I’m here with Bucky, we’re grabbing some groceries for his Ma” he replied casually, he had seemed to calm down a little by this point, he reached over and grabbed the chocolate M&M’s from you and tossed them in your cart, you wrinkled your nose at his choice.

“Bucky?” you questioned sorting slightly at the strange name, Steve sniffed at your tone.

“My pal” He shot back simply, you turned to look at him, leaning softly against your shopping cart.

“What kind of a name is Bucky?” You chuckled a little as Steve looked mortified at your comment.

“Mine.” A gruff voice came from behind you and you jumped slightly and whipped around. Stood a few feet away from you, with a gallon of milk in his large hand was possibly the beefiest guy you had ever seen. He had piecing blue eyes which were currently trained on you, he had long, dark, slightly greasy hair and stubble that coated a strong jawline, this man screamed danger and oozed confidence, everything in your bones wanted you to be afraid of him but you couldn’t deny how drop dead gorgeous he was, the obviously tailored suit aiding his allure. He took a few steps towards you and you fought the overwhelming urge to take a few steps back, you felt Steve shift behind you.

“Unique name” you muttered, not sounding as confident as you would have hoped, he cocked a brow at you but didn’t reply to you, instead he looked over your head to give Steve a look you didn’t understand.

“Y/N, this is Bucky” Steve said flatly from behind you, Bucky gave you a nod and a once over that he didn’t even try and make subtle.

“Kinda figured that one out the hard way” you murmured but flashed him a polite smile nonetheless, a slightly awkward silence settled in-between the three of you, you tried to look everywhere but Bucky, who was looking brazenly at you, the ghost of a cocky smirk on his face.

“So… How do you two know each other?” you asked, turning towards the shelves and grabbing a bottle of soda.

“Well, y’know… Family friends” Steve managed to choke out to you and you raised your eyebrows at his clusterfuck of an answer.

“We’re in a gang together” Bucky spoke matter-of-factly, his voice was gruff and low, and you liked it, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh GOD, that stupid gang” you scoffed as you placed the soda into your cart. Bucky leaned against the shelving, a look of intrigue on his features.

“You’re not scared of the gangs?” he questioned, a hint of amusement in his voice, you snickered at his question, giving him your full attention, no matter how hard it was not to cower away from his intense gaze.

“Scared of people that watched The Godfather once and run around thinking they’re in the Mafia? No not at all, I’m more scared of the rats in the subway” you wheeled your cart passed him and away from a slightly spluttering Steve, but they both followed, you came to a stop outside the ice cream freezer and Bucky placed himself at the foot of your cart, his amusement gone, only disbelief in its place.

“Maybe you should be scared” he said it quietly and almost teasingly, raising an eyebrow at you as you felt a small rush of Goosebumps take over your skin.  Before you could reply a heavy hand clapped down on your shoulder making you jump slightly and Bucky smirked at your quick slip of demeanour, damn Steve.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay out of trouble?” He questioned quietly which made you roll you eyes, you roughly grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry’s before spinning to face him.

“I’m in Wal-Mart Steven, not Iraq” you chided sarcastically, you saw Bucky smirk at your words and it made your skin tingle slightly, Steve didn’t reply instead he gave you a firm, warning look, you both knew that isn’t what he meant. Steve was on edge, he knew catching Bucky’s eye was hardly flying under the radar and he knew when he best friend wanted something, or someone he got it.

“We’re going to go” Steve announced, looking over your head at Bucky shooting him a glare. “Bye, Y/N. See you around maybe?” you gave him a small nod and a tight smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N. I’m sure it won’t be the last time” Bucky teased with a smirk. You were too flustered to think of a witty response so just settled on raising your brows at his overwhelming confidence and with that they both stalked off.

And as quickly as Bucky and Steve came, they had left. Leaving you stood in the cold chill of the freezer section, clutching your melting tub of cookie dough ice cream wondering what the hell just happened.  You walked around the rest of the store a daze, you knew you should be scared of Bucky, everybody had warned you against them, Steve was on edge about the fact you went to Wal-Mart on your own for Christ sake, there was clearly a very real threat here, but you just couldn’t see it, maybe you were blinded by the fact you found him painfully attractive. You didn’t want to get into that mess, he was less treat you right and make you blueberry pancakes on a Sunday morning and more fuck you in an alley way behind a club and not call afterwards.

You made your way to the check out and started to load your array of sugar on to the conveyer when a nervous, acne ridden boy stopped you.

“Um, excuse me miss, this has b-been paid for” he stuttered out and you gave him a look of confusion and stopped unloading your cart.

“No, I haven’t paid for this stuff” you cocked an eyebrow at him as he shifted from one foot to another.

“Um Mr Barnes has taken care of it, it’s okay” He managed to stutter out, but you were still highly confused.

“Who?”

“Um, Bucky Barnes”

TAGLIST - @evolutionofkatep   @ghostslikemydoubts @crispychrisevans @gday-im-socially-awkward @usernamesarelies @seems-sosimple

[svtmatokis]

Coffee Shop Love

Request: Wonwoo Fanboy

I totally see Wonwoo fanboying over his favorite author of his favorite books. I don’t see him going nuts over idols too much but because he has this love for reading, I thought it’d make more sense.

This is dedicated to @springpinwheel HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!! May all your dreams come true!!!

Wonwoo and Mingyu sat at a coffee shop, enjoying one of their rare days off. The two talked about life, how they could make their music better and song ideas for the hip hop team. As they were leaving, a flyer caught Wonwoo’s eye.

Attention all Season series readers! For the first time ever author, Tami Kwon will be hosting her first ever book signing.

Known for her unique writing style, Tami Kwon is known for her ‘Seasons Series’ , ‘A Fallen Star’ and ‘Deep in the Shadows’ which have all been awarded various awards. She will be releasing the final book of the Season’s Series ‘One Spring Day’  and will be launching her first ever book tour here in Korea! This is a meet and greet you do not want to miss out on.

WHERE: Barnes and Nobel in Gangnam

WHEN: Saturday, April 4

TIME: Introductions 2:30pm-3pm (Line up early to get good seats)

Booking Signing from 3-6pm

Reception 6-7pm (Passes only)

*For the first 200 people, you will be receiving a free special cover of her newest release ‘One Spring Day’

Wonwoo blinked as he read the flyer over again to make sure he wasn’t dreaming before texting Seungcheol to ensure that they had the weekend free.

Tami Kwon had been his favourite authors since the release of her first book, “A Summers Love’ it was about a girl who was a classical music artist and an underground rapper who met on the streets and fell in love. It was a complex love story but her words kept pulling him into the book more and more. The last book, ‘Winter Shadows’ was released a year and a half ago and it was left as a cliffhanger that left all her readers wanting more.

He smiled softly to himself as he and Mingyu headed back to the dorm. The flyer was correct, this was definitely an event he didn’t want to miss.

The weekend came quickly for Wonwoo and by 10am, he was out the door. What he didn’t realize was that they first 200 people were based on a number system so he had gone early to get a number but was told that all he had to do was show up before 2pm to receive his special copy of the book.

Seeing that he had a few hours to kill, he decided to go to a cafe nearby and get a coffee and reread the books he had brought with him. The cafe he had chosen was packed and had very limited seating left. He saw a table that sat four people occupied by a girl and her books and he took his chances.

“Excuse me” his deep voice rang in her ears and she looked up taking out her earphones.

“Hi” she said wide eyed. “Can I help you?”

“I was wondering if this seat was taken” he motioned to the empty seat opposite of her. “The cafes kind of full so..”

“Oh no no of course not!” she said moving some of her things to make room for him, “Feel free”

“Thank you” he said, “I’ll be right back…” he said going to order his drank but thought, “Can I get you another coffee? For letting me sit here and all…”

The girl thought for a moment and nodded her head, “A Caramel Macchiato would be great” she said smiling and Wonwoo nodded his head.

Not too long later, he came back with both their drinks.

“Thank you” she said grabbing the cup and taking a big gulp. “I’m Hye-Ri by the way”

“Wonwoo” he replied taking a seat, noting the books are her table, “Do you read a lot?”

She nodded her head almost embarrassingly, “I love reading, it’s my favorite past time.” she looked at the stack of books he had with him.

“You’re a Tami Kwon fan?”  Hye-ri asked, “She’s doing a book signing today right?”

Wonwoo nodded, “Her writing is incredible and she always leaves her reading wanting more…she’s been my favorite author even before her Seasons series. Are you a fan of her as well?”

Hye-ri shrugged a little bit, “Something like that….” she leaned forward, “What do you like about her books?”

Wonwoo gave her his heartfelt answer and the two started discussing more of Tami Kwons books. What Wonwoo didn’t know was that he would soon be in for a surprise.

It was quarter to 2 when an alarm went off.

Hye-ri quickly looked down at her phone, “Oh goodness, I can’t believe we’ve been talking for so long!” she started packing her stuff, “I have to get to a meeting ASAP” she smiled at Wonwoo who smiled back nodding.

“It was nice to meet you.” he said as he helped her stack up her books and handed them to her.

“Kumawo” she said bowing slightly, “It was nice talking to you too” she said smiling, “I’m sure we’ll meet again” she giggled tilting her head to the side before running out the door leaving Wonwoo sitting there pondering over what she said, how did she know?

He looked down at his watch and realized he should get going as well if he wanted to be one of the first people to meet Tami.

Deep down, he was shaking with excitement though on the outside, he was totally calm and cool. Few fans recognized him as he waited in line, he waved at a few of them but his mind was more focused on the moment he was going to meet Tami, his mind also drifted to Hye-ri who he spent a good few hours talking about books with at the coffee shop.

What had she meant by saying that they’d meet again?

His thoughts were interrupted by someone tapping his arm.

“Excuse me, are you Wonwoo?” the girl asked.

Wonwoo nodded and the girl handed him a book, “Here’s your special cover copy. Tami will be starting her book signing soon.”

Wonwoo thanked the girl and proceeded to look through the book. He didn’t want to read it yet because he wanted to do it in peace and quiet.

As the line moved, Wonwoo got more anxious. This was the first time that Tami Kwon was holding a book signing ever! And there were rumors that the reason she was holding this book signing was because she was going to retire.  Of course this was only a rumor but no one knew how old she really was either, there were no pictures of her or any information except that she was Korean-American and based in Los Angeles.

As he got closer, he managed to catch a glimpse of the front and his eyes widened in disbelief. It was Hye-ri, sitting at the signing desk.

Wait, was Hye-ri, Tami Kwon? He brain hurt at that moment but shook it off as  it was his turn to approach her.

“Annyeong” Tami/Hye-ri said with a smile, “And what’s your name?” she pretended not to know.

“J-Jeon Wonwoo” he said handing her his book for her to sign.

“Ah, Wonwoo. That’s a nice name, are you a big fan?”

Wonwoo nodded enthusiastically still in shock.

Tami/Hye-ri signed his book and handed it back to him, not before slipping something into the cover.

“It was nice meeting you” she smiled, “I hope you can make the reception tonight!”

Wonwoo opened his book and saw 2 passes to the after book signing reception along with a note that read.

Jeon Wonwoo, rapper of Seventeen with the deepest voice. It was really nice meeting you today. I hope we can chat again soon. - Hye-ri Tami Kwon

Wonwoo had gone to the reception that night, dragging Mingyu with him with the promise of free food. He was still in disbelief that the girl he had coffee with was actually his favorite author.

He had found out from her that night that she indeed was going to retire. Retire her alias Tami Kwon anyways, she was going to continue writing books but under her real name, Kwon Hye-ri but focus more on the Korean market. What he also realized was that he had a slight crush on her just after a few hours of talking to her. Though, he didn’t admit it that night.

What he also couldn’t believe was four months down the road, he found himself at the same cafe, at the same table with the same person but this time, with the help of his members, he was able to do something he had wanted to do a long time ago.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Two years later, a news article popped up on one of Korea’s gossip magazines.

Jeon Wonwoo of Seventeen and author Kwon Hye-ri were seen strolling around Gangnam after the latest release of her book, ‘Coffee Shop Love’ as previously reported, the two have been going out for almost two years now though, they were able to keep it hidden from the public for most of the two years.

Both Wonwoo’s agency, Pledis and Hye-ri’s publisher have confirmed that the two are seeing eachother but out of respect for their private lives, did not comment further, thought Kim Mingyu, bandmate and lablemate of Wonwoo may have hinted something regarding wedding bells in the near future during their interview with Arirang last week.

Keep posted for updates!

[lindoig1]

Last Tango in Istanbul   Day 38

We had to check out of our room by noon so we spent the morning getting ourselves packed and organised and selecting and editing photos for our blogs. We checked out and headed for the tram, but I got badly conned by a very friendly Turk who befriended us because his grandfather, my grandfather and Heather’s grandfather were apparently all good mates at Gallipoli - we’ll not quite, but he was getting around to it. His brother lives in Newport in Melbourne so we were all great friends. He wanted to give us a gift because we were such good friends and I got dragged to his shop around the corner while Heather stayed where she was with all our money and credit cards. He gave us his gift, but wrapped it with a second one and charged me for that one. I didn’t want it and didn’t have the means to pay him, but no matter how I protested, he chased me back to where Heather was fuming (and by then, I was too) but I paid him just to get rid of him. I think I may have got a bit of a bargain because his brother who handled our credit card didn’t believe the price was in Lira, insisting that it had to be Euros. At least I won that one and left with my two for the price of one, but still not at all happy. There is one born every minute and I must have been his one.

We finally caught the tram back to the Galata Bridge where we had a very leisurely lunch not far from where we had lunch yesterday. The whole area was very smoggy today, but it seemed almost black around the harbour, with smoky boats coming and going every minute or two.

Then we explored the spice market a little, looking for goodies to take on the train with us. We have received conflicting advice as to whether there is a restaurant car on the train, so to be safe, we are taking our own little stash - we certainly won’t go hungry with the variety of comestibles we are packing.

We then decided to ride our tram to the end of the line just to see where it went and to see a little more of the city. It was very hot and stuffy in a pretty crowded tram and we couldn’t see much anyway even if there had been things to see, so after a few kilometres, maybe halfway to the terminus, we got off and rode another tram back to near our hotel. We just went up to the restaurant for a drink and a cool-off in the beautiful shade and cool breeze. We used the toilets to wash some of the sweat off and made the most of happy hour. Sitting in the restaurant with 360 degree views of the city, the Sea of Marmara and the Bosphorus with a wonderful companion and food and drink - it just doesn’t get much better than that!

We sat and enjoyed a delightful hour before ordering dinner - another delicious meal that we hurried just a little because we had been told that we had to be ready to roll by 7pm. Then our agent turned up and said that we should get ready to leave by 7.30. Having carefully calculated our meal account to enable us to get rid of all our Turkish money, we had to enjoy another raki each that then had to go on card again. A 300-metre walk to our taxi and we arrived at the train station with an hour and a quarter to spare. We had to catch a bus from this station (in the city) to the one our train leaves from in the outer suburbs so we sat and waited, and waited. Finally got on the bus and 45 minutes later we arrived at the station with 10 minutes to spare. It was at least 400 metres over pretty rough ground to reach the platform and Heather was struggling until a young guy came up and whisked away part of her load, making it much easier.

The train was amazingly quiet and smooth, very comfortable and being in a 4-berth cabin, our carriage controller gave us goodies for 4 instead of 2 - water, cherry juice, crackers, etc. We always pay for exclusive use of our cabin if possible to avoid finding ourselves sharing with people we would rather not be with. Train staff seem to think us a bit strange, but we prefer the privacy and with our luggage, we just can’t see how another two people would fit into a cabin without a great deal of fuss.

We had a stop for about an hour at the Turkey/Bulgaria border and we all had to get out and wait around for the Turkish officials to arrive and do what seemed like some very perfunctory checks. A few clicks further on and there was another long stop while the Bulgarians collected all our passports and did their checks before returning them without comment an hour later. By then, it was about 3:30 and sleep finally claimed us, but I was awake again by 6:30 and feeling hot and sticky and in desperate need of an elusive shower.

There are less than 30 passengers on the whole train and only one other guy in our carriage – and he got off after a few stations. It can’t be a particularly profitable route, but as long as it gets us where we want to be, I won’t be auditing the Railway’s bottom line.

I was quite sad to leave Istanbul and would love to come back - outside Ramadan - but maybe also spend time in the country areas as well. I think a couple of months in eastern Turkey and exploring rural Greece would be a lot of fun. So many places, so little time.

[c9sneaksen-blog]

Warmth

Warmth

Word Count:24,020

Rating: T (for language)

Summary: Jensen hates parties. Fortunately for him, Sneaky swoops in to save the day. As usual. Instead of being left alone to mope in the corner of the party, Sneaky drags Jensen to brand new café down the street, all the while Jensen tries his hardest to deal with his feelings. 

Based off of a prompt. 

Additional Tags: friends to lovers, mutual pining, MILD angst, first kisses, fluff so much fluff, this is pretty much just a get together fic ahah

A/N: ok holy shit i’ve been sitting on this monster of a fic for so long now. i started writing this around worlds and i’ve only just gotten around to finishing it haha…since i started writing it around worlds, some of the info about the team may be a bit dated, such as the roster and how the former cloud 9 challenger team is now flyquest. this fic must’ve gone through like 20 different iterations. anyways, i hope the wait was worth is haha…

The party was loud, unreasonably so. The bass from the speakers was loud enough to shake the walls, and for whatever reason, Jensen couldn’t find himself dancing along to the beat. The vocals were grating, and the melody was…off, somehow. The Cloud 9 house was filled to the brim with people he barely knew, or at least, people he never bothered to try to get to know.  The team wanted to throw an “end of season” celebration party, and Jensen regretted not leaving when he still had the chance.

Jensen hated crowds, and he hated being in the middle of them even more. Three-quarters of the people there were absolutely hammered, and Jensen couldn’t help but feel a little miserable. His head was aching, and the sheer number of people around him was almost suffocating. The air conditioning was cranked up to high to help the drunken party goers cool off, and Jensen was freezing because of it.

The cold managed to make his already shit mood even worse. He hated the way the coldness would seep into his body, and make his fingers go numb. Jensen hated how he always felt cold, regardless of the temperature around him. Despite being born and raised in the frigid weather of Denmark, he never got used to it. There were very few things that were able to bring warmth to the ever present chill in his body: a blazing fire place, and the presence of a certain blond haired individual.

That’s not to say that he’d been miserable the entire party, no. He tried to socialize, but everyone was more interested in getting into his pants than they were in having a conversation with him. Often times they would be so close he could taste the alcohol on their breath, and their hands would frequently stray dangerously close to his ass. He gently pushed the hands away in an attempt to keep things friendly, but the constant invasion of personal space had started to irritate him. Fed up with the harassment, Jensen ended up pushing his way out of the centre of the party, and sought out somewhere he get some goddamn space.

“Jensen!” a familiar voice called out to him amidst the crowd. Jensen watched as people were pushed out of the way, only for a drunken Hai to come stumbling out.

Hai slung his arm around Jensen’s shoulder, and pulled him close. Jensen could see a slight sheen of sweat on his face, and judging by the warmth of his body, he’d been dancing quite a bit. “Jesus Christ dude, you’re like a fucking popsicle. Ever consider wearing a sweater? Might help.”

“I would, if I could even get into my room.” Jensen frowned, and peered over Hai’s shoulder. The number of people in the house seemed to double since the last time he checked. “I can’t even see the door to my room from here, there’s so many people.”

“Anyways, I haven’t seen you since this party started. Where’ve you been?” Hai asked, peering at Jensen with an eyebrow raised. Jensen shifted uncomfortably, but returned Hai’s smile nonetheless. Normally he would’ve been okay with the gesture, but today hadn’t been a good day for him.

“Oh, you know.” Jensen shrugged Hai’s arm off of his shoulder. Jensen stood a respectable distance away from Hai, and felt relief sweep through his body. He’d had enough of people invading his personal space for the night. “Here and there.”

“What’s wrong, man?” Hai frowned, but gave Jensen the space he was looking for. “You need to loosen up a little.”

“You can have the rest of my drink if you want,” Hai smiled slyly, and waved his half-empty beer bottle in front of Jensen’s face. “I promise I won’t tell Jack.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I already have this shitty apple juice.” Jensen shook his head, and politely declined. Jensen didn’t doubt that a little alcohol in his system would help his crankiness, but he wasn’t in the mood to drink either way. Jensen frowned, he was being awful company, wasn’t he?

“You’re no fun.” Hai shrugged, and took a swig of his drink. A trickle of beer slipped from his lips, and Hai carelessly wiped it away with the back of his hand. “Oh well, more for me then.”

“Try not to be miserable for the rest of the night, alright? Maybe you could catch a breather outside or something, take a little break.” Hai placed a reassuring hand on Jensen’s shoulder. Despite Hai’s drunken state, he always remembered to looked out for the team.

Jensen nodded, and chuckled quietly at Hai’s almost motherly advice. “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks, mom.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Hai flipped Jensen off, but his playful grin got rid of any hostility in his words. Hai turned around to leave, then stopped short and spun back around.

“Oh, right. Your other half, Sneaky, was looking for you.” Hai furrowed his brows, and glanced at the watch on his wrist. He made a face of surprise, then looked back up at Jensen. “That was 10 minutes ago. I’m surprised he still hasn’t found you yet.”

“My other…what?” Jensen raised an eyebrow questioningly. Even though Hai was drunk, he was never one to say things unless he meant it. Hai was the kind of person who always put thought into everything he said, and Jensen could only wonder what he meant. Jensen shook his head, and refocused on the topic at hand. “Forget it. Why’s he looking for me?”

“He wouldn’t tell me—probably just wanted to see you.” Hai shrugged, and faced the centre of the party. Hai stretched his arms over his head, ready to dive straight back into the heart of the crowd. “Expect him to show up eventually, though. Or you could find him before he finds you.”

“Come to think of it, he’s always asking people where you are. ‘Where’s Jensen?’ or 'Where’d Jensen go?’ It’s kinda endearing.” Hai shot Jensen a look over his shoulder, and held the mid laner’s gaze. There was a curious look on Hai’s face, one that Jensen couldn’t quite decipher. “You do it pretty often too. Seems like nothing can keep you guys apart for too long. You’re always looking for excuses to spend time with each other.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jensen shook his head, and broke eye contact with Hai. The former team captain was often times too perceptive for his own good.

“Of course you don’t. But we both know how happy he makes you.” Hai’s gaze lingered for a second, before he shook his head. He had a knowing smile on his face, and Jensen wished he knew what it was that Hai was smiling about. “Never mind, I’m just thinking out loud. See ya bro.”

With a small wave, Hai disappeared into the sea of people. Jensen pondered over Hai’s words, curious to find out why Sneaky was still thinking of him even in the middle of a party. Jensen was fairly certain that Sneaky had invited a few friends over—friends he should’ve been spending time with. Jensen frowned. Hai was right, a few hours into the party Jensen couldn’t stop himself from wondering where Sneaky was. The question seemed to pop into his mind whenever he felt lost for one reason or another. Sneaky usually always knew what to do, especially when he didn’t.

Jensen stood between the two crowds of people awkwardly before realizing that they were starting to stare. Jensen fled to the far back corner of the party, away from everyone’s wandering hands and eyes. Jensen found a spot to sit along the windowsill, and quickly settled down. Jack blocked off the stairway, preventing anyone from going upstairs, including himself. The isolated corner was as close to peace and quiet as he could get.

Jensen cradled a glass of apple juice in his hands. Jack handed it to him at the beginning of the party with a pat on the back and pushed him towards the sea of faces. He sipped at his drink idly as he watched the group in front of him down yet another round of shots. Jensen shook his head, and set his own drink down. He didn’t even like apple juice. Jensen pulled out his phone, and grumbled when he saw the time. It was only 7PM, meaning the party was bound to go on for a

few more hours. With a heavy sigh, he opened Reddit, hoping to pass some time. He wasn’t alone for long, however. Five minutes later, his solitude was interrupted by yet another voice.

“Holy fuck, it's impossible to find anyone in here.”

When Jensen tore his eyes away from his phone, he was greeted with the sight of Sneaky’s bright smile. For reasons beyond his understanding (he knew exactly why, but figured lying to himself was easier), Jensen found himself tripping over his thoughts. He was usually more prepared to face Sneaky, but apparently he was a little…out of it tonight.

Several seconds passed before Jensen was able to find his words. Jensen blinked mutely, and clumsily pieced together a response. “Well, you found me, so I wouldn’t call it impossible.”

“Fine, it was really, really hard to. Satisfied yet, you dick?” Sneaky corrected himself with a roll of his eyes. Despite his attitude, Jensen could see the relief in Sneaky’s eyes. Sneaky was happy to see him, and Jensen could only wonder why. “No wonder I couldn’t find you. You’ve been hiding here this entire time, haven’t you?”

“Not for long. I actually tried to socialize earlier.” Jensen gave Sneaky a pointed look when he started to snicker. Jensen found himself mirroring Sneaky’s smile, already in a better mood since he settled in his corner. “Crazy, I know.”

“Why’d you come looking for me anyways?” Jensen asked curiously, leaning forward to rest his chin in his palms. “I thought you were hanging out with your friends.”

“You’re my friend too, idiot.” Sneaky pointed out. Sneaky pursed his lips, and quietly searched for an answer to Jensen’s question. He didn’t really know why he wanted to see Jensen, but knew he couldn’t leave the mid laner hanging. “I guess I just wanted to see you. Haven’t had a chance to talk to you since the party started.”

Jensen hummed thoughtfully. Hai was right, as usual. “I must be very special, 'cause I made you want to talk to me over anyone else.”

“'Of course you are. You’re like, my best bro, bro.” Sneaky agreed, and flashed Jensen a bright smile. Sneaky wasn’t wrong—out of all their teammates, they were probably the closest to each other. Sneaky briefly motioned Jensen to move aside. “Scoot over, make some room for me.”

“Seriously? Your 'best bro, bro’? Nice English, bro. Very creative.” Jensen snickered, and shifted over to make room for Sneaky to sit on the ledge that he was perched on.

Jensen would never admit it, but his heart skipped a beat when Sneaky had considered their friendship to be a special one. Still, Jensen felt his heart sink in his chest moments later, and he hated it. Jensen knew he expected…more, but that didn’t make sense. They were just friends, after all. He was happy with the way things were. Sneaky was one of the best friends Jensen could’ve ever asked for, but no matter how much he told himself that, it didn’t stop him from falling for Sneaky.

“Fuck off. You come up with something better.” Sneaky shoved Jensen in the shoulder playfully, which only caused Jensen to laugh even harder. Sneaky pouted at Jensen, and the word adorable immediately popped into his mind.

“Wow, flame me more, Sneaky. I’m your 'best bro’ and you don’t have anything better to call me?” Jensen huffed, feigning offence. Jensen crossed his arms, and shifted his body away from Sneaky. “I’m hurt. FF, our friendship’s officially over, sorry Sneaky.”

“No, Jensen. Not like this.” Sneaky dragged the ‘o’ sound out as he pretended to wipe away a tear.  It took a few seconds of poking and prodding from Sneaky before Jensen finally turned back around. There were smiles on both of their faces, and Jensen was amazed at how quickly his mood changed. Sneaky always knew how to put a smile on his face, and it was one of the many things that Jensen appreciated about his teammate.

When their laughter died down, Sneaky turned to face Jensen. There was a question on his tongue, and Jensen had a slight suspicion that he knew what it was going to be. “What are you doing sitting in this corner by yourself?”

“Ah.” Jensen knew the question was going to come up at some point. Jensen stared at his hands in his lap, and ignored the icy feeling in his fingertips. They were still cold from holding his apple juice from earlier, and he rubbed his hands together in a poor attempt to warm them up. “Socializing didn’t go to well. Turns out being around drunk people isn’t that fun when you’re not drunk as well.”

“Feels bad man.” Sneaky huffed out a laugh, and leaned his head against the windowsill. He tilted his head to better look at Jensen, a look of understanding on his face. “But yeah, I totally get it.”

“I guess I also wanted to find you 'cause I got tired of talking to 50 people at once.” Sneaky shrugged, and shot Jensen a small smile. Although the smile was faint, it was still so warm and genuine, just like everything else about Sneaky. “I needed an excuse to get away. 'My Danish mid laner is crying, I must go comfort him' seemed to work pretty well.”

“Crying, huh? Oh yes, I'm miserable right now, please make me feel better Sneaky.” Jensen draped his hand over his chest dramatically, and leaned into Sneaky’s side. He was certain that no one took Sneaky’s excuse seriously, but it was amusing to hear nonetheless.

“Don’t worry my son, I’ll make you feel better, alright.” Sneaky grinned, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Jensen made a disappointed face, unsurprised at the direction that Sneaky took with his joke.

“Yeah, Sneaky fucking gasm amirite?” Jensen shook his head, of course Sneaky was going to twist his words into an innuendo. Jensen paused, realizing that he was still leaning against Sneaky’s side. Sneaky seemed unbothered by his presence, and Jensen didn’t want to move away, so he didn’t. The physical contact was…comforting, to say the least.

“I must admit, I’m surprised you left 'cause you got tired of talking to people.” Jensen peered at Sneaky curiously. Sneaky was always better at talking to people than he was, and Jensen found himself following Sneaky’s lead in conversations with groups of people. When together, the two played off of the other’s sense of humour with ease, and could easily be the life of a party if they tried. Too bad Jensen rarely felt like trying. “You seem to…thrive in large social gatherings.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Sneaky agreed simply. Sneaky furrowed his brows and searched for the right words. Sneaky hummed thoughtfully, “I enjoy talking to people, just not for long. Some people just tire me out, to be honest.”

“Do I tire you out?” Jensen asked. He meant it to be more of a tongue in cheek question than anything serious.

“You?” Sneaky’s eyes flickered towards Jensen’s face briefly, before they shifted back to the energetic crowd of people in front of them. They paid no attention to the pair, too lost in the generic beat blasting from the speakers to truly care. Truthfully, Sneaky found it a lot more enjoyable to spend one on one time with Jensen, and was silently thankful that he wasn’t part of the drunken crowd for once. “Nah, I like spending time with you. You’re pretty chill. I could probably spend entire days with you and not get tired.”

“With other people I have to make a conscious effort to talk to them.” Sneaky paused, taking time to think over his answer. “With you, I can just…talk to you, I guess. It feels natural.”

Jensen blinked dumbly, he expected a troll answer, such as 'yeah, all the time’, but he didn’t expect Sneaky’s actual answer to be so…earnest. Sure, the guy wasn’t the best at articulating himself without using memes sometimes, but his message still read loud and clear. Jensen could hear the pounding of his heart in his chest, even over the blaring music of the party.

Jensen was so caught up in trying to come up with a good comeback that he never thought of what to say if Sneaky’s answer was genuine. Warmth flooded Jensen’s body, and for a minute Jensen had to remind himself to chill the fuck out, this was just his teammate. Sneaky finally tore his eyes away from the crowd of people, and smiled at Jensen warmly.

“I…” Jensen’s words caught in his throat, as he struggled to find the right thing to say. First the sincere answer, and now this. Sneaky’s smile was so fucking distracting, and if Jensen’s heart could stop fluttering for at least two seconds he could attempt to form a coherent sentence. A beat of silence passed with Jensen just staring at Sneaky’s frustrating little smile, and Jensen could feel his face start to heat up as the silence dragged on.

“What I meant to say was yeah, you’re a horrible person and I don’t know why I bother talking to you.” Sneaky spoke up, and pretended to correct himself. The adorable smile never left his face, and Jensen wanted to scream. It was unfair how attractive Sneaky’s smile was.

“So what you’re saying is…” Jensen said once he remembered how to form sentences. Jensen raised an eyebrow at his teammate, and stared at him curiously. “You didn’t mind it when I dragged your ass out to McDonalds in the dead of the winter 'cause I wanted chicken nuggets?”

“Okay, well that time is a unique case. I only wanted you to kill yourself a little that time.” Sneaky recalled the unfortunate memory with a brief chuckle. “Fuck, no one was doing delivery at that hour either right? It was 4AM and the chicken nuggets were fucking stale anyways.”

“'Jensen, remind me again, why the fuck are we out here? Oh right, cause you wanted chicken nuggets. It’s time to off yourself.’” Jensen mimicked Sneaky’s voice horribly, and was barely able to keep a straight face throughout his impression. Jensen gave Sneaky a pointed look. “If that isn’t toxic then I don’t know what is.”

“Was that supposed to be my voice? That was awful.” Sneaky snickered quietly in the face of Jensen’s pointed stare. He remembered saying those exact words in the middle of the storm. “You took my hat too, didn’t you?”

“No, you gave it to me, remember?” Jensen countered. Sneaky said something that day, and through the thick of the snow storm, Jensen wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not.

When Sneaky moved to pull the beanie over his head, Jensen remembered hearing Sneaky say something along the lines of 'I can’t have my little Jensen getting sick, now can I?’. Even now, Jensen felt himself getting flustered at the thought of Sneaky’s words. My little Jensen. Jensen had repeated those words in his head long after they’d been said. It was an unexpected gesture, and Jensen recalled feeling warm for reasons beyond just the hat that Sneaky lent to him. Shortly after, the tips of Sneaky’s ears had turned red from the cold. But no matter how much Jensen insisted, Sneaky refused to take the hat back.

“You even got sick afterwards too!” Jensen laughed, remembering how miserable Sneaky looked the morning after. Jensen blinked, suddenly recalling that Sneaky’s hat was buried deep inside his closet. “I still have it, you know.”

“You do? So that’s where it went.” Sneaky raised at eyebrow at Jensen. For a moment, he simply stared at Jensen. A smile graced Sneaky’s lips before he finally shook his head. “Keep it. It looked nicer on you anyways.”

“Well, that’s a given.” Jensen joked nervously, and turned his face away from Sneaky’s lingering gaze.

Jensen fought to keep his emotions in check, but failed to hide the slight blush that creeped onto his face. Sneaky must’ve noticed, judging by the slight quirk of his lips. Sneaky spared him the embarrassment however, and didn’t point anything out. Sneaky managed to charm the words out of Jensen’s mouth twice in a single conversation. Jensen cursed himself for getting flustered so easily.

“Yes, stroke your ego more, Jensen.” Sneaky rolled his eyes, and looked at Jensen questioningly. “Though I suppose you can blame me for enabling you.”

“Please, tell me more about how good I look.” Jensen batted his eyelashes, and pretended to flaunt himself. Jensen hoped the act would be enough to distract Sneaky from the way the tips of his ears had gone red. “Tell me I’m not the most aesthetic person you’ve ever met, I dare you.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re the most aesthetic person I’ve ever met.” Sneaky said as he pat Jensen reassuringly on the shoulder. He grinned cheekily at the mid laner. “One hundred percent.”

Sneaky eventually sobered up, his laughter quieting down. He grinned at Jensen slyly, leaning in closer to Jensen’s face. “Do you really want me to continue feeding your ego? There’s a still a lot of things for me to say.”

“Well,” Jensen rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He didn’t expect it to actually come to this point, “telling me that I’m balding does not count as a compliment, believe it or not.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of 'you have a nice smile’, but sure, your balding head is a good area for compliments too.” Sneaky shrugged nonchalantly. Jensen flushed a deep shade of red, and felt his train of thought stutter to a stop.

The point of Sneaky’s sentence flew right over Jensen’s head, and all he could think of was Sneaky saying that he had a nice smile. Jensen wanted nothing more than to bury his face in his hands to hide his blush, but he knew it’d be too obvious of a cover-up. Sneaky had to be fucking with him. If this was all one big joke, Jensen wasn’t sure if he’d still find it funny by the end of it all, though perhaps he was just overthinking things.

“Besides, I only have nice things to say about you.” Sneaky continued, his face still close as ever to Jensen’s. Jensen blinked mutely—Sneaky’s eyes were really blue up this close. Sneaky’s eyes were also his favourite shade of blue, but Jensen was sure that was purely coincidental.

Jensen shook his head, and snapped out of his love struck reverie. “That’s bullshit. Remember that time when you told me I looked like a fuckboy when I wore my snapback?”

“Or that time when you called me a loser for wearing socks with my sandals during the winter?” Jensen powered through Sneaky’s look of mock offence, recounting memory after memory in which the marksman teased him. “And what about that time you said my shirt was ugly, like, yesterday?”

“Shh, it doesn’t count if I was telling the truth.” Sneaky’s shoulders shook with laughter, he’d been caught in his lie almost immediately after saying it. The best part about their friendship was that they could always tease the other knowing that they’d never be offended—it meant their conversations were normally filled with witty one liners and crude banter. “And it’s okay Jensen, I forgive you for all the crimes you’ve committed against my eyes. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“Go fuck yourself, good sir. No offence or anything, it’s just a minor suggestion.” Jensen struggled to maintain a tone of aggression to add weight to his insult. Sneaky’s laughter proved to be too contagious, and eventually Jensen joined in as well.

“Aw, don’t be like that. You know it’s all out of love anyways.” Sneaky chimed in between their snorts of laughter.

Sneaky wrapped an arm around Jensen’s shoulder, and pulled him in for a sideways hug. Sneaky was suddenly closer to him than he was before. Jensen felt his face heat up, and his heart started to beat wildly in his chest. If he wasn’t blushing before, he was definitely blushing now. Sneaky loved giving out hugs, and initiated physical contact between them all the time—fortunately for Sneaky, Jensen liked the skin ship they shared with each other, even if it was simply platonic.  

“Fuck you.” Jensen cursed at Sneaky, and flipped him off. His face was on fire, but at least Sneaky couldn’t see it from this angle.

Sneaky’s hand accidentally brushed the skin at Jensen’s neck, and he frowned at what he felt. Jensen sucked in a breath when he felt just how warm Sneaky’s fingers were. They were like a fire against the ever present chill in his body, and Jensen felt his eye twitch when Sneaky’s hand brushed his neck again.

“Holy fuck, you’re cold as hell.” Sneaky commented, and pressed his fingers against Jensen’s neck to confirm his point. The warmth from Sneaky’s fingers quickly spread across Jensen’s skin, and he swallowed thickly.

“Then why don’t you warm me up instead of complaining about it?” Jensen huffed, and crossed his arms. Jensen didn’t realize the implication of his statement until it was too late. Surprise flashed through Sneaky’s features for the barest of moments, before a charming smile graced his lips.

“Only if you insist, you princess.” Sneaky chuckled, and pulled Jensen flush against his chest.

Sneaky wrapped his arms around Jensen’s lithe frame, and rested his chin atop his head. Jensen tensed up on instinct as panic flooded his system. Any subtlety from earlier was thrown out the window. They were one hundred percent cuddling now. Alarm bells went off in Jensen’s head—this should’ve been weird, but it wasn’t. It felt so normal that it freaked Jensen out. Jensen remembered then, that this was far from the first time that something like this has happened. Hell, there was even recorded footage of it—then why, why, why did he always get so worked up over it?

Jensen could feel himself burning up from the inside out, both from his own embarrassment, and from how fucking warm Sneaky was. The guy was a living furnace, and Jensen felt the cold leave his body almost immediately. It felt like he’d been bundled up in a fleece blanket, only this time, the blanket was Sneaky. Soon enough, Jensen found himself relaxing in Sneaky’s arms. The soothing warmth came with the familiar scent of Sneaky’s weird ass vanilla scented body wash.

He always thought the concept of vanilla scented body wash was stupid, and made sure to poke fun at Sneaky for it constantly. Jensen was sure that Sneaky eventually started to use it out of spite for him. Jensen would never admit it out loud, but the scent reminded him of the candles he would light back in Denmark. He didn’t particularly enjoy nor dislike the scent of it, but it was something he associated with home. And in a weird way, Jensen felt like he was at home in Sneaky’s arms.

Despite the party that raged on around them, Jensen and Sneaky were caught in their own little bubble. Silence lapsed over the pair, though Jensen could still hear the rhythmic beating of Sneaky’s heart. Jensen knew he always had a tendency to run his mouth in periods of silence, simply because he always found them uncomfortable. This time was different, however. The urge to start blabbing never came, and for once, Jensen allowed himself to feel at ease in the silence. Jensen felt safe and protected in Sneaky’s arms, and if it wasn’t so fucking loud, he could probably fall asleep.

There was something else that prevented Jensen from dozing off—his thoughts. They were louder than the party itself. Jensen couldn’t help but find it weird how many boundaries he crossed with Sneaky as friends. The things they said to each other often went beyond friendly banter—it was borderline flirting. Neither of them acknowledged it, but they never stopped doing it either. They always sat closer to each other than normal, more often than not with their legs tangled together underneath the table. Sneaky loved to wrap his arm around Jensen’s shoulder almost as much as Jensen loved being held. Granted, it was never for too long, but it lasted long enough for people to start asking questions. And as they walked side by side, they would occasionally brush their hands together, even if nothing came out of it. The way Jensen saw it, it was more a confirmation that the other was still next to them than anything else.

Jensen was no stranger to his feelings for Sneaky, try as he might to deny them. Everything they did with each other hinted to the fact that they shared the same feelings, but Jensen didn’t want to think about what would happen if he was wrong. To add insult to injury, it was so damn easy to imagine himself in a relationship with Sneaky. Far too many times had he been distracted with thoughts of kissing Sneaky in front of all of his teammates.

The fear of ruining everything they had with each other held him back, however. Even if he was right about their feelings, what was supposed to happen if the relationship didn’t work out? Leaving the team would mean leaving him too, and Jensen didn’t like thinking about that. A slight frown tugged at Jensen’s lips, and Sneaky was quick to pick up on the shift in mood between them.

“You think very loudly, you know?” Sneaky broke the silence between them, snapping Jensen out of his daze. “What’s on your mind?”

Sneaky started to remove his arms, but Jensen quickly reached up to stop him, “No, it’s not that.”

“Then what?” Sneaky’s expression softened, his eyes laced with concern. Jensen felt his heart flutter when he looked at Sneaky’s face—he didn’t deserve this shit. Even now, he was being a love struck idiot, and it was preventing him from forming coherent responses.

“It’s…” Jensen trailed off. He wasn’t sure how to tell Sneaky what he was thinking about without also confessing his feelings.

“It’s nothing.” Jensen finished pathetically, and buried himself further in Sneaky’s chest. “I’m just being dumb.”

“You're always being dumb.” Sneaky poked Jensen in the cheek lightly. Sneaky shook his head, and let the subject drop.

Even as the brief conversation lapsed into silence, Jensen still felt a pair of eyes on him. “What’re you looking at?”

Jensen glanced up, and caught Sneaky’s gaze. For whatever reason, Sneaky was still looking at him. Jensen probably would’ve called Sneaky out for being creepy, if it weren’t for the look Sneaky had on his face. His features were so soft, his expression so fond that it damn near took Jensen’s breath away. It felt wrong to look at Sneaky—what he saw was something that people usually kept to themselves. Jensen knew��that look. It was the look that couples gave each other after exchanging I love you’s.

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” Sneaky smiled faintly, then broke eye contact with Jensen as if it were nothing. Perhaps Jensen was imagining things, but Sneaky’s smile was almost sad. People didn’t look at their friends like that unless they meant something more to them.

At this rate, Jensen wasn’t sure if he could blush any harder, and he quickly turned his face away from Sneaky with a small huff. Sneaky laughed at Jensen’s childish behaviour, which only made his face burn even harder. His period of embarrassment was interrupted by an ear piercingly loud wolf whistle.

From amidst the crowd, Jensen spotted Meteos’ raised arm. “Get 'em, Sneaky!”

Jensen blinked, dully noting all the eyes that briefly turned their way. Meteos wanted them to get together more than anyone else on the team. “…What? Did he just—”

Sneaky shook his head, and suddenly removed his arms from Jensen’s body. “Yeah. Fuckin’ Meteos.”

Almost immediately, a cold chill swept through Jensen’s body. Jensen frowned, was he just incapable of maintaining a normal body temperature or what? Jensen tried his hardest not to be upset at the loss of contact, but the cold he felt in his body was undeniable. Sneaky was warm, his presence comforting, and Jensen wanted it back.

“Quit your moping. I’m not leaving you.” Sneaky stood up, and offered his hand to Jensen. Sneaky’s face lit up with a brilliant smile, and it was clear he had something in mind. “I have an idea.”

“I’m not—” Jensen cut himself off short. Sneaky was right, he was moping a little. “Where are you going?”

“I’m ditching this place, and you’re coming with me. Let’s go.” Without a second word, Sneaky grabbed Jensen’s hand and helped him to his feet.

Jensen couldn’t help it when he stumbled slightly, but Sneaky was there to catch him. Sneaky let out a light chuckle, and spared Jensen from his teasing. Jensen merely glared daggers at him in response. Sneaky tugged Jensen towards the crowd, but stopped just short of it.

“Let’s not lose each other in this crowd, yeah?” Sneaky winked at Jensen, before turning his attention to the sea of people. Sneaky squeezed Jensen’s hand lightly, and said over his shoulder. “Hold on tight.”

Jensen barely managed to catch Sneaky’s words before he found himself being pulled right into the thick of the party. Sneaky cleared the path ahead of them, and nudged everyone aside as gently as he could manage. Jensen felt like there were dozens of pairs of eyes trained on him, and it made his skin crawl. He hoped that no one noticed that they were technically holding hands—Jensen absolutely did.

In spite of his own embarrassment, Jensen heeded Sneaky’s words and held on tight. Instead of focusing on the sheer number of people staring at him, Jensen tried to focus on the warmth of Sneaky’s hand. It helped a little, the contact helping to ground his thoughts.

“I can almost see the door from here.” Sneaky shouted over the crowd. Jensen could barely make out the sound of his voice, and Sneaky strained his voice to shout even louder. “Was there always this many people?”

“Who knows, I lost count a long time ago.” Jensen shook his head, and gripped Sneaky’s hand tighter. Sneaky was right, he could finally see the front door over peoples’ heads.

With one final push, Jensen and Sneaky stumbled out of the crowd. Almost immediately, the pair made their way towards the door, and slipped out unnoticed. As the door shut behind them, Jensen let out a sigh of relief. The chilled atmosphere caused his warm breath to turn misty in the air. True to his word, Sneaky continued to lead them forward with a definitive plan in mind.

“Where exactly are we going?” Jensen asked at last, allowing himself to be pulled towards the direction of…wherever.

“They opened up this new café down the street,” Sneaky started, and made a left once they reached the main road. “and I wanted to check it out. I would’ve gone a while ago, but I was too fuckin’ lazy to actually get up and go.”

“And I know cafés are your favourite place, so that makes this little expedition even more worth it.” Sneaky added with a smile. Jensen furrowed his brows. He faintly recalled having this conversation with Sneaky a few weeks ago. There was one thing in particular that Sneaky really wanted to try there.

“Is that the place that has really good vanilla lattes?” Jensen remembered at last. Jensen could never understand Sneaky’s strange obsession with vanilla lattes, both hot and cold. He usually preferred plain old black coffee.

“Yeah, it is actually.” Sneaky nodded as his eyes lit up with childish delight. “I hope they don’t fuck it up like they do at Starbucks.”

“One way to find out, I guess.” Jensen shrugged, finding amusement in Sneaky’s excitement. Jensen had been on the receiving end of many shitty vanilla latte rants, and perhaps this café would put an end to them.

The moon was just starting to peek out from behind the clouds, basking the pair in its pale light. The air outside was crisp and fresh, unlike the haze of alcohol and sweat inside the house. The coldness of the night mirrored the air conditioned atmosphere of the house. Jensen shivered slightly, he felt just as cold outside of the house he did inside. Still, the warmth from Sneaky’s hand made him feel a little better about his frigid state. They reached a stop light, and suddenly, Sneaky’s attention was back on Jensen.

“Are you…” Sneaky squinted his eyes at Jensen. Jensen squirmed slightly under Sneaky’s close inspection, and silently wondered what was going through his head. The marksman laughed, and tilted his head to the side. “Are you shivering?”

“N-No.” Jensen stuttered, and shivered as if on cue. Sneaky started to laugh, and Jensen glared at him. “You’re shivering, bitch.”

“Shit, you caught me.” Sneaky rolled his eyes, and briefly let go of Jensen’s hand. “We could’ve grabbed a jacket for you before we left, you know?”

“I didn’t bring a jacket 'cause I didn’t want, or need one.” Jensen huffed, and crossed his arms. Doing so helped mask his shivering, just a little. “I’m a grown ass man. I can take care of myself.”

Sneaky saw right through Jensen’s cover, and started to shrug his hoodie off. “Clearly not.”

“But that’s why I’m here.” Sneaky grinned, and gently draped his hoodie over Jensen’s shoulders.

“I don’t need this.” Jensen said stubbornly, but subconsciously pulled the hoodie tighter around himself. “I’m not cold.”

“Sure, if you say so.” Sneaky shook his head, and started to help Jensen put the hoodie on properly.

“Thanks.” Jensen mumbled quietly as Sneaky held out the sleeves for him to slip his arms into.

By the time the hoodie was zipped up, it was time for them to cross. Sneaky quickly grabbed Jensen’s hand, and continued to walk him towards the café. They reached the other side with seconds to spare, the light turning red just as they approached the curb. Jensen, unfortunately, still had no clue where the café was. He trusted Sneaky to know where he was going (or at least, he hoped so).

From underneath the hoodie, Jensen’s face was on fire. Sneaky never offered his clothing away this freely to anyone. Except to him, apparently. Even when Meteos forgot to bring his hat during the winter season, Sneaky had flipped him off when he asked to borrow his hat instead. And this was the second time that Sneaky went out of his way to offer him an article of clothing (within recent memory, anyway).

The hoodie smelled just like Sneaky (unsurprisingly so), and Jensen found himself feeling oddly comforted by it. It was a familiar scent, and Jensen now associated it with warmth. Somehow, Sneaky always found ways to keep him warm, even when the cold seeped deep into his core. Jensen frowned when Sneaky showed no signs of growing cold—it was almost unfair.

But the more Jensen thought about it, he supposed it made sense. Sneaky was known to be really good at giving hugs, and Jensen had been on the receiving end of many. Sneaky’s smile made Jensen feel fuzzy inside, as much as he hated to admit it. A lot of things Sneaky did made him feel warm, one way or another. And even now, Sneaky still hadn’t let go of his hand. Not that he was complaining, no. Jensen found it strange, however. For as much as they “flirted” with each other, they never crossed the line of hand holding. Until now. Jensen hoped that it wasn’t because Sneaky forgot to let go.

“We’re almost there.” Sneaky pointed out, snapping Jensen out of his thoughts. Jensen stopped registering where they were going several moments ago. Jensen shook his head, and waited for his brain to catch up.

Jensen’s gaze followed the direction of Sneaky’s finger, and he spotted the café in question across the street. The storefront casted a warm glow onto the street, inviting those who passed by into the café. The café looked rather cozy, and Jensen couldn’t wait to get inside. The pair had reached another stoplight, and were waiting patiently for the light to switch. Sneaky took the moment to look at Jensen, and a snort of laughter slipped from his lips.

“What?” Jensen glared at Sneaky, demanding answers.

“Nothing.” Sneaky replied cryptically, but his eyes lingered on the hoodie that Jensen was wearing. Jensen could see that it became increasingly harder for Sneaky to hold his laughter in the longer he stared at him.

Jensen knew the hoodie was two sizes too big for him. He could tell, because it felt like he was being swallowed whole by the hoodie. The sleeves extended past his fingertips, and the shoulders hung a little loose on his skinny frame. Jensen cursed Sneaky’s odd fascination with wearing oversized hoodies, because the hoodie made him feel impossibly smaller.

“It’s just—” Sneaky coughed, still trying to stifle his laughter, “You look so small.”

“Fuck you.” Jensen cursed at Sneaky. He crossed his arms, and huffed. In hindsight, doing that probably didn’t help his image. “It’s not my fault you wear hoodies that are like, twelve times your size.”

“My itty bitty widdle Jensen.” Sneaky cooed, much like a mother would to their child, and lifted his hand to pat Jensen on the head. Sneaky didn’t bother stifling his laughter anymore, which made Jensen glare even harder. The sound of Sneaky’s bright laughter filled the air, and Jensen’s resolve was slipping.

“Your Jensen?” Jensen couldn’t help but question Sneaky’s choice of words. Jensen wasn’t technically his, not in any way shape or form. This wasn’t the first time that Sneaky attached the word to his name either.

“Yes, my Jensen.” Sneaky confirmed with ease, and let his hand drop. “I don’t think many other teams have a toxic Danish child like I do.”

“I—” Jensen bit back his retort. He knew that there was no winning against Sneaky. The fact that Sneaky called him his was enough to make his face burn. “I hate you.”

“That’s not true!” Sneaky singsonged as he tugged Jensen towards the café entrance. From this close, Jensen caught whiffs of coffee and baked goods in the air, and his stomach grumbled. As Jensen read the wooden sign, he discovered that the café was named The Black Canary.

“Maybe not.” Jensen agreed, then he grinned at Sneaky slyly. “But only if you pay.”

“Fine, fine. You paid last time we went out, so I guess it’s fair.” Sneaky nodded, and held out the door for Jensen. A small bell rung as the wooden door swung open, alerting the waitress to their entrance.

Immediately, Jensen was enveloped by the warmth of the café. The aroma of toasted coffee beans and freshly baked goods filled the air, and Jensen delighted in the smell of it all—cafés were one of his favourite places, after all. The café had a rustic interior, the dim lighting matching the cozy atmosphere. Wooden tables were spread throughout the café, each with a unique little potted plant. Along the side were small booths fixed with cushioned seats and decorative lighting.

At this hour, the café was relatively empty, save for a handful of people and the occasional sleep deprived student. Their hushed conversations were accompanied by the sounds of soft classical music that played from the speakers above. The café was peaceful, and most of all it was quiet, a welcome change compared to the noisy atmosphere of the Cloud 9 house.

“Good evening!” greeted the waitress brightly. She glanced down at their clasped hands, then looked back at the pair with a knowing smile. “Table for two?”

Jensen caught the waitresses’ gaze, and quickly let go of Sneaky’s hand out of embarrassment. “Uh. Yes, please.”

“Great, follow me and I’ll get you seated.” said the waitress, and motioned for the pair to follow her. Along the way, she grabbed a pair of menus.

Sneaky let out a light chuckle at Jensen’s embarrassment, and Jensen wanted to crawl into a hole. The waitress probably thought they were a couple now, which, as pleasant as the idea was, wasn’t true. Regardless of what the waitress thought, she led them to a tidy booth in the corner. Jensen was grateful for the privacy that the booth offered, albeit a little isolated from the rest of the patrons.

Jensen slid into the booth, and Sneaky slipped in next to him. Jensen raised an eyebrow at Sneaky’s choice of seating, simply because he could’ve sat on the other side, but chose not to. Jensen didn’t mind, however. There was plenty of room for the both of them. Once they were settled down, the waitress placed the two menus in front of the pair. The menu was designed to look like a scrapbook, with leather covers, polaroid images, aged paper and all. The waitress filled their glasses with water, and left them to decide on their order as she tended to the other customers.

“What’re you planning on getting?” Sneaky asked, leaning over to look at Jensen’s menu.

“Probably just black coffee, honestly.” Jensen replied simply, though his eyes continued to scan the drink options.

“Boo. That's so resident sleeper.” Sneaky made a look of disgust, and stuck his tongue out. “Try something cool, you fucking grandpa.”

“Wow, you’re just gonna shit all over my tastes like that, Sneaky?” Jensen huffed, and continued to scan the menu’s expansive set of drink options. “You’re just upset ‘cause you can’t appreciate the taste of it.”

“What, bitter bean juice?” Sneaky fired back. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“Fine, Jesus Christ.” Jensen rolled his eyes, but the smile on his lips betrayed the hostility of his words. “I’ll get a mocha or some shit.”

“Much better.” Sneaky grinned, satisfied that he was able to convince Jensen to indulge himself.  Sneaky already knew what he was going to get, and waited patiently for Jensen to finish flipping through the menu. Just as he flipped to the desserts page, Jensen’s stomach rumbled.

“Maybe you should get something to eat too.” Sneaky suggested with a raised eyebrow. “It might help you get out of your Fiddlesticks cosplay.”

“Ha ha, nice meme bro!” Jensen exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from his words. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was hungry, however. He was too busy moping during the party to bother finding out where the food was. “I guess I could go for some cake.”

Jensen scanned the vast array of cakes the café had to offer. They ranged from double chocolate fudge cakes to blueberry cheesecakes, and more. Jensen rubbed his chin thoughtfully—all the options looked equally delicious. The longer he stared at the menu, the harder it became for him to decide. Sneaky looked on, amused at Jensen’s inability to choose what he wanted.

“Want me to pick for you?” Sneaky offered knowingly. They both knew that Jensen always struggled with picking what to eat for dinner, and that often left Sneaky to decide for the both of them. Jensen frowned at the menu, as if the answer would pop up in his head.

After a minute or so, Jensen sighed, and admitted defeat. “Please do.”

“I’ve heard good things about their strawberry shortcake.” Sneaky pointed out. Jensen glanced at the attached image, then nodded in agreement. “Well, that was easy.”

Sneaky waved the waitress over, and ordered Jensen’s cake and mocha, as well as a vanilla latte for himself. With a small nod, the waitress made her way towards the counter to prepare their order. The waitress apologized faintly, and told them their order would take a while to arrive. Jensen didn’t pay attention to why, and idly hummed along to the song playing in the café instead. Meanwhile, Sneaky pulled out his phone, and browsed his social media to help pass the time.

Jensen considered pulling his phone out too, but settled with observing his surroundings. Jensen glanced at the way they were sitting. Even though there was plenty of wiggle room in the booth they shared, Jensen found himself pressed up against Sneaky’s side. Jensen couldn’t help but shake his head—they fell into the same patterns every time they sat next to each other. They’d slowly gravitate closer, and closer together without even realizing it. Their booth was in the far corner of the café, giving them privacy they never asked for. Everyone in the café was lost in their own world, be it frantically typing on a run-down laptop, or engaging in a conversation with their friends.

The pair sat in peace and quiet, content to simply enjoy the other’s presence. With a muffled yawn, Sneaky leaned to the side, and rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen smiled faintly, and decided against saying anything out loud. Instead, he chose to quietly observe Sneaky’s features. Sure, it might’ve been a little creepy, but he caught Sneaky doing it to him countless times.

He would never admit it out loud, but were a lot of things about Sneaky that Jensen found attractive. Like the way Sneaky’s smile could cause his heart to flutter without fail, especially if he was the one to put it there. The corners of Sneaky’s eyes would crinkle as he smiled, and Jensen could never grow tired of hearing the sound of his laughter. Sneaky’s smile made him feel all warm inside, but it wasn’t the only thing he liked about him.

Jensen always thought Sneaky had the prettiest eyes. He found it fascinating how, under the right lighting, Sneaky’s eyes would sparkle. They would shine a brilliant blue, and Jensen quickly discovered that the colour of Sneaky’s eyes was his favourite shade of blue. Too many times had Jensen been distracted by Sneaky’s playful little smile that was paired with lips that he would never want to stop kissing, and soft hair that Jensen wanted to run his fingers through.

But the small things mattered just as much to Jensen, things that someone would only notice if they spent a shitload of time with Sneaky (and he has done a lot of that). Like the way the corner of his lip would slightly twitch moments before he burst into laughter, or the small crease that would form between his brows whenever he was deep in thought. Jensen admired Sneaky’s drive to improve, and he admired the way Sneaky was humble both in victory and defeat. It lead Jensen to believe that Sneaky was too good of a person for him. Jensen knew that he was an asshole, a selfish one at that, but he had one hell of a soft spot for his teammate. Sneaky always looked out for him, from making sure he didn’t catch a cold, to stopping him from downing his sixth shot of liquor in a row.

Jensen blinked back to reality, the weight of his feelings for Sneaky having finally caught up to him. Jensen realized in the span of seconds exactly how hard he’d fallen for his best friend. Jensen’s head spun, and suddenly, he couldn’t ignore how little space there was between them. Sneaky’s touch burned into his skin, offering him warmth that he didn’t deserve to have. Even then, Jensen couldn’t move away. He didn't want to. But before Jensen could think himself to death, Sneaky’s voice snapped him out of his daydream.

“Jensen.” Sneaky called for Jensen’s attention, and looked up at him. Jensen stared at Sneaky for a few moments, before finally spotting the raised phone camera. “Smile!”

Jensen stared at his image on Sneaky’s phone, and smiled faintly. The top of Sneaky’s face was barely in frame of the image, since most of it was taken up by the backdrop, and of course, Jensen himself. Sneaky frowned at Jensen, and turned to face him.

“That’s the weakest smile I’ve ever seen.” Sneaky shook his head, and pulled at Jensen’s cheeks to force a smile. Jensen tried to swat at Sneaky’s hands before his cheeks got too sore, and a genuine smile found its way onto his face. Sneaky removed his hands once they’d accomplished their goal, and mirrored Jensen’s smile.

“Better?” Jensen asked with a bright grin on his face.

“Yes.” Sneaky replied, and lifted his phone to get a better angle. Moments before he snapped the photo, Jensen flipped the camera off, though the smile never left his face. The camera clicked, and Sneaky quickly opened up the photo to look at it. Upon discovering Jensen’s last second gesture, Sneaky snorted out a laugh.

“You son of a bitch.” Sneaky narrowed his eyes at Jensen, but quickly dropped the act. Sneaky raised an eyebrow at Jensen, and pointed a finger at his chest. “I thought you said you were reformed.”

“I am!” Jensen gasped in mock offence. Jensen crossed his arms defensively, and stuck his chin out. “It’s not toxic if it’s friendly banter.”

“Right, 'friendly’.” Sneaky repeated sarcastically, even going as far to put air quotes around his words. Being the child he was, Jensen stuck his tongue out at Sneaky, causing the marksman to burst out into another fit of laughter. As his shoulders shook with laughter, Sneaky opened his Twitter, and started to write a tweet.

Jensen leaned over, and watched as Sneaky’s fingers flew across the screen to type: “Hot date night with my boy @C9Jensen”. Jensen rolled his eyes at Sneaky’s choice of words, “hot date night”, yeah right. Even though Jensen knew it was all just a joke, part of him couldn’t help but hope it was true. Just as Jensen suspected, Sneaky attached the image they just took, and finally posted the tweet.

“How many photos of me do you have posted on your Twitter?” Jensen asked, and glanced at Sneaky briefly. He rested his chin on his palm, and looked out the window next to him. The glass panes rattled quietly as the wind blew against them, and Jensen could only hope that it wasn’t going to get worse. “Too many, if you ask me.”

“Not enough, I’d argue.” Sneaky corrected Jensen, and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

Sneaky then turned all of his attention to Jensen, and smiled faintly. Jensen could feel Sneaky’s eyes on him, and finally turned away from the window to catch his gaze. Silence filled the air between them as they simply looked at each other. Jensen swallowed nervously, worried that Sneaky could hear the pounding of his heart. Jensen blinked distractedly as Sneaky’s stupidly adorable smile started to grow with each passing second.

“C-Can I help you?” Jensen stuttered, and tore his eyes away from Sneaky’s frustratingly blue ones. Jensen felt a blush creep onto his cheeks, and Jensen hated himself for being so easily flustered around his teammate. Sneaky didn’t even seem phased by the fact that this was the second time Jensen caught him staring that night.

“That depends on what you’re willing to do.” Sneaky replied smoothly, and lightly bumped Jensen’s leg with his knee. Out of habit, Jensen crossed his ankle over Sneaky’s. Once again, they fell right back into the same old patterns—Jensen was wondering when they’d start to tangle their legs together.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jensen’s eyes widened at the implications of Sneaky’s statement, but he quickly caught himself. Jensen stared at Sneaky suspiciously, and pursed his lips in an attempt to fight a smile from finding its way onto his lips.  Sneaky’s grin only grew wider, and eventually, he started to laugh.

“You should've seen your face.” Sneaky laughed delightedly, and leaned forward to rest his head on Jensen’s shoulder. “You’re too easy to embarrass.”

When Sneaky failed to muffle his giggles, he pulled his head away and wiped the tears from his eyes. Sneaky finally looked back up at Jensen with a gentle expression on his face. Jensen felt his heart skip beat—Sneaky’s eyes always looked so adorable when he smiled, and right now, Jensen wanted to scream because of it. Instead, he let out a frustrated groan. Jensen buried his face in the palms of his hands as Sneaky’s shoulders continued to shake with laughter.

Jensen let out a sound of frustration, and spoke without thinking. “It’s not my fault you’re so adorable.”

“The fuck did you say about me, bitch?” Sneaky narrowed his eyes at Jensen suspiciously, and Jensen’s head snapped up. Sneaky had an eyebrow raised, and closely examined Jensen’s panicked expression. Just as Jensen was about to come up with an excuse, Sneaky interrupted him. “You know I can’t understand Danish, so that’s just cheating.”

Jensen blinked confusedly. Jensen didn’t even realize that he’d spoken Danish. It slipped out of his mouth before he had the chance to think about what language he said it in. The slip ups always caught him off guard when they happened, but he’d never been so glad to slip up in that moment.

“Fuck you, Sneaky.” Jensen said immediately. It was a phrase he defaulted more often than he’d like to admit, but it acted as a great distraction. Sneaky never took offence from it anyways. “I said you have lesbian hair.”

“Nice meme, bro!” Sneaky exclaimed, and applauded sarcastically. Jensen snorted out a laugh at Sneaky’s immediate reaction. Sneaky ran his hand through his hair, and Jensen wished that he was the one doing it instead. “I’m sure you love my hair.”

Jensen laughed quietly to himself, you’re not wrong. Jensen would have never said that out loud however, and rolled his eyes instead. “Yeah, right.”

“Whatever, I’d take lesbian hair over balding at the ripe age of 21.” Sneaky retorted with ease. Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed dramatically. He looked up at Sneaky with the most serious face he could muster.

“Kindly off yourself, good sir.” Jensen said offhandedly, and poked his finger at Sneaky’s chest to emphasize his point. Sneaky gasped, and shook his head at Jensen’s words.

“That was a little toxic.” Sneaky reprimanded Jensen, and barely managed to contain his laughter. Sneaky ended up laughing anyways, and the warm sound of it made Jensen’s heart flutter. “This is exactly why you’re balding.”

“You’re the worst.” Jensen huffed out, and lightly shoved Sneaky on the shoulder. Jensen stared at Sneaky’s bright features, and let out a sigh. “I hate you.”

“Do you really?” Sneaky tilted his head to the side curiously. Jensen swallowed nervously, and caught Sneaky’s eye. Sneaky leaned into Jensen’s space, and put on his best smile. Sneaky silently dared Jensen to say anything other than “no”.  

Jensen opened his mouth to say yes, but couldn’t bring himself to actually say the word. Jensen’s eye twitched in the face of Sneaky’s charming smile, and eventually, he gave into Sneaky’s whims. “…No.”

“I thought so.” Sneaky briefly stuck his tongue out at Jensen, but barely had any time to celebrate his victory. Sneaky’s attention was soon caught by the waitress that stood at their table, with their drinks and slice of cake in hand.

“Sorry to interrupt your little lovers’ quarrel,” The waitress teased the pair lightly, and held up the tray with their order. “but I have your drinks and cake.”

“Lovers’ quarrel? We’re not—” Jensen started to explain, but the waitress seemed unconvinced by his words. Jensen shook his head. “Never mind.”

Jensen quickly cleared his throat, and made room on the table for the waitress to place their order down. Sneaky’s foot lightly nudged his own from under the table, and Jensen shot Sneaky a questioning look. Sneaky smiled a little sheepishly, and the message 'my bad’ was clearly painted in his eyes. Sneaky turned his attention back to the waitress.

“Thanks.” Sneaky said courteously, to which the waitress responded with a smile.

“No problem.” The waitress picked up her tray, and winked at the pair. “Enjoy.”

Sneaky turned his attention back to Jensen, who stared at the rather…generous slice of cake in front of him. Jensen stared at it closely—there was no way he was going to finish it by himself. Sure, he was hungry, but he wasn’t that hungry.

“Fuck me. This slice of cake is huge.” Jensen sighed, and lightly poked at the side of it with his spoon. Sneaky looked at Jensen incredulously.

“The menu did say it was for 2-3 people…” Sneaky reminded Jensen plainly. Jensen’s eyes widened in surprise. He pointed his finger at Sneaky accusingly.

“It did? Why didn’t you say anything?” Jensen huffed, and glared at Sneaky, who started to snicker quietly.

“'Cause I thought you knew how to read, dumbass.” Sneaky answered simply, and started to laugh even harder when Jensen gave him an exasperated look. Sneaky had a feeling that Jensen didn’t read the smaller text on the side, but decided against telling him.

“Fine, we can just share then.” Jensen shrugged, and pushed the plate closer to Sneaky. He glanced up at the marksman with a coy smile, then back at the cake. “You’re paying anyways”

Jensen looked around the table to find another spoon for Sneaky to use, only to realize that they only had one spoon, and he was currently holding it. Jensen lifted his hand to call the waitress over, but was stopped short by Sneaky, who looked at him expectantly. Sneaky opened his mouth, and pointed to it.

“Why get another spoon when you can just feed me?” Sneaky suggested playfully, and waited patiently for Jensen to feed him the first bite of cake. The fact that they were about to share the same spoon crossed Jensen’s mind briefly, but he figured it was tamer than the rest of the shit they’ve done together despite not being romantically involved.

“…No, do it yourself, bitch.” Jensen huffed, and attempted to offer Sneaky the spoon. Jensen wasn’t going to fall into Sneaky’s trap that easily (or at least he’d try not to). Sneaky looked at the spoon with a great deal of contempt, then glanced back at Jensen.  

“I'm lazy.” Sneaky pouted dramatically, and leaned into Jensen’s side. “Besides, you already have the spoon in your hand…”

Jensen’s gaze was drawn to Sneaky’s doe like eyes, and Jensen found it very, very difficult to say no to them. Sneaky’s eyes were doing the stupid, twinkling puppy dog thing they always did whenever he wanted to have his way with Jensen. Jensen cursed himself for being such a weak man. In his defence, Sneaky looked twice as adorable, and Jensen had never been able to say no to Sneaky whenever he did that. It was a dirty trick, and they both knew it.

“Fine.” Jensen drew out the i sound, and sighed exasperatedly. Jensen couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips when he saw the way Sneaky lit up, and pumped his fist in the air. Jensen scooped up a small piece of the cake, and made sure to get some strawberry in the bite before he held it up to Sneaky’s mouth. “Say ah, bitch.”

“Ah,” Sneaky opened his mouth, and closed his lips around the spoon. Jensen pulled the spoon out, and picked up a bite of his own. Sneaky made a delighted sound, and his eyes lit up brilliantly. “It’s pretty good, isn’t it?”

Jensen ate a bite of the strawberry shortcake, and chewed it thoughtfully. The icing was a little too sweet for his liking, but the tartness of the strawberry helped balance it out nicely. The vanilla shortcake was light and fluffy, and it practically melted on his tongue. As much as he enjoyed it, Jensen had a slight suspicion that Sneaky enjoyed it more than he did. Jensen scooped up another piece of cake, and spooned it into Sneaky’s open mouth.

Sneaky smiled around the bite of cake, and Jensen felt his eye twitch. Sneaky was like a child with one hell of a sweet tooth, and Jensen wouldn’t have minded it so much if Sneaky wasn’t so goddamn adorable. Sneaky just looked so cute and happy every time he fed him, and Jensen struggled to keep his cool. The pair worked towards finishing the of the cake together, though Jensen wasn’t sure when he started to feed Sneaky more than he ate himself. Sneaky didn’t seem to notice, though he was probably too lost in his own little world to care anyways.

While Sneaky was busy enjoying his bite of cake, Jensen took a sip of his mocha. He gently blew at the steam that rose out of the cup, before taking a small sip. The pleasant taste of chocolate and espresso washed over his tongue. The drink struck the perfect balance between the bitterness of the espresso, and the sweetness of the cocoa.

Despite how hot the drink was, the warmth of it quickly washed away alongside the taste of the mocha, and Jensen sighed. He turned his attention back to Sneaky, who finally tried his own drink. Jensen watched Sneaky closely, and waited for his reaction. Much to Jensen’s surprise, Sneaky’s face lit up.

“Dude.” Sneaky said excitedly, and took another sip of his vanilla latte. Sneaky’s happiness was definitely contagious, and Jensen found himself smiling too. Sneaky’s joyous grin made Jensen feel warm inside, replacing the brief heat the mocha gave him with something much more meaningful. Sneaky offered his drink to Jensen, and started to speak.

“This is what a vanilla latte should taste like. Starbucks sells a bland, watered down excuse of a latte.” Jensen nodded slowly, and accepted the offered cup from Sneaky. Jensen never understood Sneaky’s strange obsession with vanilla lattes, but he found it to be a rather endearing quirk.

Jensen listened attentively as Sneaky animatedly described what distinguished good vanilla lattes from bad ones. Jensen eventually lost him at around the third or fourth point, but still tried his best to follow Sneaky’s words. He sipped idly at Sneaky’s vanilla latte, and figured that his tongue was broken, because he could not for the life of him pick up the cinnamon notes that Sneaky described. Admittedly, Jensen was more interested in watching Sneaky talk than actually listening to him. It was hard to ignore how cute Sneaky looked in that moment, and Jensen had to mentally shake himself to snap out of it.

“You’re not even listening to me, are you, you little shit?” Sneaky cut himself off short, and smiled at Jensen knowingly. Jensen grinned sheepishly, and gently shook his head. Sneaky laughed, and realized that he got a little ahead of himself. Curiously enough, Jensen didn’t seem to mind too Sneaky’s rant too much. Sneaky brushed the thought aside, and opened his mouth. “The least you can do is feed me another bite of cake.”

Jensen was admittedly a little distracted by Sneaky’s bubbly smile, and accidentally missed Sneaky’s mouth. The vanilla cream on top of the cake brushed against the corner of Sneaky’s lip, leaving behind a small dollop of icing. Jensen snickered quietly at the image before him. Sneaky’s bright blue doe eyes stared at him expectantly, with icing covering the corner of his lip. Sneaky looked at Jensen confusedly, and quietly waited for an explanation from the mid laner.

“You have some icing on your face.” Jensen started to explain, and set the spoon down on the plate. He turned his attention back to the marksman. Jensen couldn’t help it when laughter started to bubble out. Sneaky looked like a child with icing all over his face, and Jensen found it utterly adorable.

“What? I do?” Sneaky asked incredulously, then narrowed his eyes at his teammate. It was Jensen’s fault after all, and Jensen didn’t feel the slightest bit of regret. Sneaky glared at Jensen. “Where?”

Jensen gestured unhelpfully to the side of Sneaky’s face. Sneaky stuck his tongue out, and struggled to catch the icing with the tip of his tongue. Jensen snorted lightly, not only had he pointed Sneaky to the wrong side of his face by accident, he was pretty sure that Sneaky wouldn’t have been able to reach the icing anyways. Sneaky made a frustrated sound, and gave Jensen a pointed look.

“Where the fuck is it?” Sneaky asked exasperatedly, and rolled his eyes when Jensen continued to snicker. Sneaky huffed, much like a child would, and flipped Jensen off. “Are you trolling me?”

“Nope, not this time.” Jensen amended, though Sneaky looked far from convinced. Jensen would’ve corrected himself earlier if it wasn’t so amusing to watch Sneaky struggle.

From the corner of his eye, Jensen spotted a handful of napkins that were scattered on the far end of their table. The napkins were shoved under plates, and hidden behind cups. Jensen pushed them all aside earlier to make room for the waitress to serve their food and drinks, and he decided it was too much work to reach over and grab one. He glanced back at his teammate—Sneaky was starting to look ridiculous, and Jensen finally decided to take pity on the marksman.  

Jensen reached out, and lightly grabbed Sneaky’s chin. Jensen tilted Sneaky’s chin up, and briefly registered how close their faces were. Jensen would’ve pulled away, but he figured that he’d allow himself just this one moment of intimacy. “Here let me just—”

Surprise flashed on Sneaky’s face, but Jensen was too distracted to notice. For a moment, Jensen’s eyes flickered down to Sneaky’s soft lips, a motion that didn’t go unnoticed by the marksman. Jensen was overwhelmed with the desire to fit his own lips against Sneaky’s, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t find it in himself to actually do it. It was the perfect setup; all he had to do was lean forward a tiny bit and close the gap between them, giving him everything he always wanted and more. Up this close, Jensen noticed how vulnerable Sneaky looked—his bright blue eyes were wide open, and Jensen was afraid of what he would see if he looked at them. Jensen didn’t want to look into Sneaky’s eyes, only to see the eyes of someone who didn’t love him back. Jensen opened his mouth to speak, but discovered that he had nothing to say.

Sneaky must’ve realized what was going through his head, because Jensen felt Sneaky’s face heat up underneath the tips of his cold, cold fingers. Sneaky was so close that Jensen could’ve counted his individual eyelashes if he wanted to, and his breath was taken away by how much he wanted the man before him. Jensen tightened his grip on Sneaky’s chin ever so slightly, and fought against the urge bridge the gap between them, and kiss his teammate.

In the end, Jensen decided it wasn’t worth risking their friendship for, and set out to do what he originally planned to accomplish. He brushed the corner of Sneaky’s lip with his thumb, and wiped off the icing. Jensen’s hand lingered for a second too long, as he shoved any and all thoughts of kissing Sneaky into the corner of his mind. For the first time that night, Sneaky was the one that was caught off guard. Jensen finally removed his hand, and leaned back far enough so that they were a respectable distance apart. Not that it mattered anyways, because their legs remained tangled together underneath the table. Sneaky’s cheeks were coloured a deep shade of pink, and the tips of his ears were red.

Jensen smiled faintly, and felt a small amount of satisfaction from looking at Sneaky’s embarrassed expression. Jensen didn’t plan to embarrass Sneaky the same way that he’s been doing to him all night, but it was a nice change. Jensen got caught up in his feelings for his teammate, and hoped that it didn’t spoil the mood between them. Jensen licked the vanilla icing off of his thumb, and noticed the way Sneaky’s eyes followed the movement of his tongue. Sneaky coughed dryly, and with that, the moment was gone.

“Gross.” Sneaky said in response to the way that Jensen just licked the icing off of his thumb. Jensen shrugged his shoulders simply, and grabbed a napkin to wipe his thumb with.

“I can’t let you waste the icing.” Jensen stuck his tongue out at Sneaky, who rolled his eyes. Admittedly, Jensen didn’t even like the icing that much. The thought of letting Sneaky lick it off had crossed his mind, but Jensen wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep leading himself on.

Their drinks were mostly finished by this point, and there were only a few bites of cake left. Sneaky’s gaze was drawn to the what was left of his cake, and his face lit up with a brilliant idea. Jensen could practically see the lightbulb above his head, and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his teammate. Jensen quickly pieced together Sneaky’s motives when he grabbed the spoon, and scooped up the last bite.

“My turn.” Sneaky said simply, and lifted the spoon up. He held it just before Jensen’s mouth, and smiled playfully at the mid laner who looked mildly amused. “Say ah,”

“I’m not a child like you.” Jensen huffed, and crossed his arms. Sneaky giggled at Jensen’s mannerisms, and pushed the spoon closer to Jensen’s mouth. Jensen turned his face away from the spoon. “I don’t need to be fed.”

“C'mon. You know you want to.” Sneaky said encouragingly, and tilted his head to the side. Jensen’s eye twitched, and with a heavy sigh, he finally opened his mouth.

“Ah,” Jensen made the sound only to please Sneaky, knowing full well that it wasn’t required to be fed.

Sneaky indulged him earlier, so it was only fair that he did the same. When Jensen had finally had mouth around the spoon, Sneaky looked so damn pleased with himself that Jensen couldn’t stop the blush that crept onto his face in time. As Jensen took the time to chew the final bite of cake, he made sure to stick up his middle finger at Sneaky. In a strange way, Jensen found that the bite of cake tasted better than when he fed himself. The cake was fluffier, the strawberries tasted sweeter, and the icing wasn’t so unbearably sweet. Jensen reasoned that it was because it was the last bite, not because of the bright smile Sneaky had on face, nor was it because of the fluttery feeling in his stomach. Totally.

Jensen downed the rest of his now cold mocha to try and wash away the butterflies in his stomach. While he waited for Sneaky to finish savouring the last few drops his vanilla latte, Jensen waved the waitress over. As the waitress gradually made her way towards them, Jensen stopped to watch Sneaky curiously. Sneaky looked…happy, and it warmed Jensen’s cold, cold heart to look at Sneaky smile the way he did. Jensen felt a touch guilty for technically dragging Sneaky away from his friends at the party, but if Sneaky was upset by it, he couldn’t tell.

Jensen’s attention was drawn away from his teammate by the cheery sound of the waitress’ voice. The pair quickly cleaned up their table space by stacking the cups, plates, and the singular spoon together. Sneaky pulled out his wallet, and retrieved enough cash to pay for their order. The waitress collected their payment, and cleared off their table. With a small wave, the waitress bid the two farewell as they exited the warmth of the café.

They stumbled out of the door with smiles on their faces, but Jensen quickly grumbled when he felt the chilly weather start to worm its way into his core. A light breeze blew past the pair, and Jensen pulled Sneaky’s hoodie tighter around himself. When Jensen looked back up at the marksman, his nose was adorably red, and a snicker slipped out of Jensen’s lips. Even though the tips of Sneaky’s ears were starting to grow red, he didn’t look the slightest bit fazed by the weather, much to Jensen’s own contempt.

“How come you never cold but I always freeze my ass off?” Jensen pouted, and tugged the hood over his head. The sleeves were long enough to cover his hands, saving him the trouble of shoving them into his pockets. Jensen shivered, and looked at Sneaky enviously.

“You tell me, Jensen.” Sneaky shrugged, and reached out to grab Jensen’s hands. Jensen jumped slightly at the sudden contact, but relaxed before Sneaky had the chance to notice his surprise. Sneaky cupped his warm hands over Jensen’s cold ones, sharing his heat with the chilly mid laner. “You were born and raised in Denmark, shouldn’t you be used to the cold?”

“Exactly! How is this fair?” Jensen stared at their joined hands, and soon realized that his hands weren’t the only thing that was warming up. Fortunately, his blush was easy to conceal under the large hood.

The two lingered in front of the café for several minutes, with Sneaky simply warming up Jensen’s hands. Jensen shifted awkwardly, and stared at the floor. His hands were sufficiently warm now, but Jensen didn’t want to pull away. With each passing second, however, Jensen found himself growing more and more embarrassed.

“What’re we gonna do now?” Jensen cleared his throat, and debated on whether or not he should remove his hands. Fortunately (or unfortunately), Sneaky made the decision to remove his hands first. Jensen felt the loss of warmth immediately, and tried his hardest to hold onto it by shoving his hands into his pockets. Sneaky retrieved his phone from his back pocket, quickly unlocking it to reveal the time.

“It’s only 9:15. The party is probably still going.” Sneaky frowned, and tried to come up with a mental list of things they could do to pass the time. Sneaky ran his hand through his hair, like he always did when he was deep in thought. “We could go for a walk in the park.”

“A-Aren’t you cold?” Jensen shivered lightly, and tried to stop his teeth from chattering.

Sneaky shook his head, and flashed Jensen a teasing smile. “No, 'cause I’m not a pussy like you.”

Jensen stuck his tongue out at Sneaky, and the action rewarded him with the cheery sound of Sneaky’s laughter. Jensen coughed lightly, and tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat. “I assume you know where this park is. I sure as hell don’t.”

“Yeah, I do. C'mon.” Sneaky beckoned Jensen to follow him, who fell into step beside him with familiar ease. Sneaky led them further down the street, eventually turning into a clearing that revealed a path to the park.

Jensen recognized the park immediately. They’d visited the same park with the team when the weather was better, since Jack wanted the team to “get some fresh air for once”. It was a lot colder now, and the moon was out instead of the sun, but the park still had the same old charm to it. They entered the thick of the park, and various trees surrounded them, blocking their view to the street. Their red, orange, and yellow leaves blended together to paint a warm autumn picture, despite the chilly weather. Even as darkness shrouded them, the various park lights casted a soft orange glow on them, a stark contrast to the cool pale light from the moon. The park was quiet, since the majority of people retired to their beds at this hour.

The pair walked side to side, and their shoulders occasionally bumped each other because of how close they were. Once again, the pair was lost in their own little world, content to share their space with each other. It felt a bit like walking down memory lane, as his past experiences in the park slowly came back to him. Jensen remembered when Hai challenged him to a tree climbing challenge that ended up with him on the ground, and Hai ten feet above him. Sneaky must’ve remembered the exact same thing, because he started snickering moments later.

“What’s so funny?” Jensen asked carefully, despite knowing full well what Sneaky was going to say next.  Jensen’s shoulders dropped when he followed Sneaky’s gaze—Sneaky was staring at the trees, just like he was. “Oh. No, don’t you dare bring that up again.”

“What, the time when you ended up on your ass while Hai demolished you?” Sneaky laughed, and poked Jensen lightly in the shoulder. Jensen grumbled dramatically, and rolled his eyes. “Bunny tried to give you a boost too!”

“There’s no way I would’ve beat Hai anyways.” Jensen huffed, and stared at his stick thin arms. Jensen glared at Sneaky’s giggling form, though his stern expression did nothing but encourage the marksman’s laughter. “I’m sorry that the only I’m capable of lifting is carrying your heavy ass in our LCS matches.”

“Suck my nuts, it’s hard playing ADC when you have to build Guardian’s Angel.” Sneaky shoved Jensen in the shoulder, causing his lanky teammate to stumble a bit. Sneaky stuck his tongue out at Jensen, who fumbled for a bit before finally recovering his balance. Sneaky smiled mockingly at Jensen. “And don’t worry about losing to Hai. You’re still the winner in my heart.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “If only that was enough for me to beat Hai.”

Jensen chose to blatantly disregard the fact that Sneaky was rooting for him back then even though it was guaranteed that he was going to lose to Hai. He didn’t need to deal with his bullshit feelings. Jensen just wanted to remember their shared memories without having it skewed by his stupid, stupid little (huge) crush. The more he tried to ignore his feelings, the louder they got. Everything Sneaky said or did continued to fuel his false hope.  Jensen couldn’t decide if it was worth it to live in ignorant bliss pretending that Sneaky really did feel the same way, or to risk it all just to get some closure.

“You’ll beat him next time, I’m sure.” Sneaky grinned, and started to wander off ahead of Jensen. Jensen quickly picked up the pace of his feet to keep up with his teammate, who suddenly looked like he had a plan in mind.

“I get the feeling that you’re taking us somewhere.” Jensen raised an eyebrow at Sneaky, who gave him a sideways smile.

“Not particularly.” Sneaky started, and Jensen waited for him to continue. Sneaky paused to gather his thoughts, before speaking again. “I just wanted to visit that shitty swing set again.”

Jensen recalled the swing set in question, with a faint touch of nostalgia. The last time they went it was pretty run down due to poor maintenance, but Sneaky seemed insistent on riding it anyways. Sneaky was even able to convince Jensen to push him, so he wouldn’t have to do the work himself. Jensen couldn’t personally remember having fun on the swing set. Instead, he remembered the sound of Sneaky’s childish laughter as he pushed him higher, and higher. Jensen remembered it as the first time he’d felt a shred of feeling for someone in a long, long time. He’d gone home that night and locked himself in his room to try and decipher the sudden warmth that blossomed in his chest.

“What if it’s not there anymore?” Jensen asked, and stared up at the night sky. The stillness of it was calming, yet the longer he stared at it the more it started to frustrate him. Jensen wished his thoughts were half as peaceful as the quiet sky, and yet they were anything but. They continued to grow louder, and Jensen’s eye twitched as he fought to silence them.

“Then I get to enjoy a simple walk in the park with you.” Sneaky said after a moment of consideration, and shrugged his shoulders simply.  To Sneaky, the journey seemed to matter just as much as the destination, and Jensen wondered if his presence had anything to do with it.

Jensen didn’t reply after that, simply content to walk beside his teammate. Every now and then, Jensen glanced over to Sneaky, who was quietly humming a song that he didn’t recognize. There was a faint smile on his face, and it looked like he truly did enjoy their peaceful walk through the park. Although the moment was oh so simple, Jensen still found a lot of depth in it. Particularly in the way Sneaky managed to take his breath away by, well, merely being in his presence. In the quiet moment, Jensen was still charmed by the brilliant blue of Sneaky’s eyes, and his kissable lips. There was a strand of hair that was blown out of place by the wind, and Jensen wanted to fix it for the marksman, but stopped himself just short. Jensen sighed, as the fondness he had for Sneaky gripped at his chest.

Jensen made sure to look away before Sneaky caught him, because he was fairly certain that he had his feelings written all over his face. Even though Sneaky’s presence and the hoodie kept Jensen as warm as they possibly could, there was still a cold blanket that was draped over him. The coldness came from his own making, and Jensen would cry out in frustration if he could. For as much torment Jensen gave himself over his own feelings, the coldness he felt in his body whenever he pushed Sneaky away was infinitely worse. Sneaky made him happy in ways that no one else has ever done before, and Jensen didn’t want to give it up. Lost in his thoughts, Jensen didn’t realize it when Sneaky finally led them to where the swing set was. Jensen snapped his attention back to reality, and stared at the renovated swing set. It looked nearly identical…just newer.

“They replaced it.” Sneaky frowned, and tested one of the new swings. The black seat bounced back with newfound elasticity, and the metal chains no longer squeaked every time they shifted. Sneaky grumbled lightly. “Well, that’s disappointing.”

“Is it? I mean, it’s still here.” Jensen shrugged, and stood next to Sneaky. Jensen looked up at Sneaky’s careful expression. His lip was tugged slightly downward, and his eyebrows were furrowed. Jensen found himself mirroring Sneaky’s expression.

“The fact that it was so shitty was part of its charm, y'know?” Sneaky said simply, and there was an air of finality around his words. Sneaky shrugged dramatically, and just like that, any semblance of sadness was shaken from his form. “Oh well. Like I said, it wasn’t entirely a loss.”

“I guess it was nice to get some fresh air.” Jensen agreed, and glanced up to catch Sneaky looking at him fondly. Jensen coughed lightly, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. If his thoughts weren’t so intrusive, Jensen imagined that he would’ve enjoyed their stroll through the park a touch more. “Better than whatever’s happening in the house.”

“Right?” A bright grin found its way onto Sneaky’s face. “I wonder how things are going for them.”

“They’re probably all wasted.” Jensen replied plainly, and shuddered at the thought of the hands that roamed across his skin. Jensen was…glad that Sneaky had dragged him out of the house. It was nice to spend some time with one of his closest friends, especially since their usual practice schedule kept them occupied throughout the day. “I saw Hai at some point. He was pretty hammered.”

Jensen’s eyes widened when he remembered what Hai said to him when they saw each other, and flushed slightly. Sneaky raised an eyebrow at the mid laner, but said nothing. Jensen let out a sigh of relief, and let Hai’s words wash over his thoughts. At first, Jensen didn’t think too much of what Hai said. But as the night dragged on, the more he realized how close they hit to home. Jensen felt a sense of completeness in Sneaky’s company, something he didn’t feel around anyone else he knew. Jensen knew he felt just fine on his own, of course he did, but there was something different about being around Sneaky. There was an air of warmth and radiance that followed Sneaky wherever he went, and Jensen craved that feeling as much as he desired to be in his company. Jensen huffed out a quiet laugh. Hai was right—Sneaky really was his better half.

“You never did tell me why you were holed up in the corner of the party.” Sneaky cleared his throat, and sound of it brought Jensen back to reality. Sneaky looked at Jensen with concern, and his eyes said the words that he couldn’t say out loud: talk to me. “At least not properly.”

Jensen was caught off guard by the question, but made sure to not show it on his face. “I was annoyed because people kept touching me. They were probably drunk or something, I don’t know.”

“I guess I also wasn’t in the mood to socialize.” Jensen pursed his lips, and stared at his hands. They were starting to grow red because the chilly atmosphere. At this point, Jensen didn’t care enough to put them back into his pockets. Jensen didn’t miss the way Sneaky’s gaze darkened as he confided in the marksman. Jensen frowned slightly, he really didn’t think much of it, but it clearly upset Sneaky. Jensen couldn’t parse why—unless there was something he was missing. “Why does it matter?”

“I—” Sneaky stuttered, and looked at a loss for words. Jensen waited patiently for his friend to come up with an answer. “I don’t know. You looked upset, and I just wanted to know why.”

“Is that really all?” Jensen looked at Sneaky intently, as if doing so would answer all his questions. Sneaky held his cards close to his chest, however, making his attempt futile in the end. Sneaky remained silent for a moment, and Jensen could faintly see the conflict in his eyes.

“I mean, you said they were touching you. Against your will.” Sneaky said at last, his tone serious as he spoke. Soon enough his gaze softened, and with it, his voice. The thought of people other than him touching Jensen caused a protective, maybe even jealous feeling to flare within Sneaky’s body. Sneaky knew that it wasn’t fair of him to think like that, but he couldn’t stop it even if he tried. “It just doesn’t…sit right with me.”

Jensen laughed dryly at Sneaky’s answer. “It’s not like I'm yours or anything. I dealt with it, and it’s fine now. You can stop worrying.”

Jensen left the 'you shouldn’t be worrying about me in the first place’ part unsaid. He figured it was implied enough, simply because he didn’t deserve the careful attention that Sneaky gave him. Surely there was someone more deserving of his…affection than he was.

“Why did you leave the house with me then?” Sneaky asked, and changed the topic. Jensen tried his damnedest to not show how upset he was, but Sneaky picked up on it anyways. “I would’ve left you alone if you wanted.”

“Yeah, but you’re…different.” Jensen replied vaguely, unable to find the right words to say. Jensen looked down, and fiddled with the loose threads on the sleeves of Sneaky’s hoodie, avoiding his teammate’s gaze.

“Different how?” Sneaky prompted, hopefully pushing Jensen towards the answer. Jensen succeeded in pulling out a loose thread, and looked back up at Sneaky.

“I actually like spending time with you.” Jensen admitted, and felt his cheeks heat up. Jensen wanted to stop talking then, but for whatever reason, his mouth kept moving. “Probably more than I should.”

“What—” Sneaky started to say, and reached out to Jensen. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s nothing.” Jensen shrugged off the question, afraid to have said too much. He started to walk down the gravel path before them, effectively ending the conversation. From what he could tell, there was still a decent stretch they had to walk if they wanted to get out of the park.

At first, Jensen only felt a twinge of guilt for brushing Sneaky away like he did. But it quickly grew into something that was made worse when he heard Sneaky’s footsteps behind him. Jensen dared to look at Sneaky, and regretted it almost immediately. Jensen wanted to kick himself—what he saw on Sneaky’s face was not a look of hurt, but instead one of forgiveness and understanding. Jensen swallowed thickly, and almost wished that Sneaky wasn’t so goddamn kind. It would’ve made pushing Sneaky away a lot easier if Sneaky just hated him. Maybe then he could get over his feelings. But Sneaky didn’t hate him. The silence between the pair grew, though their physical distance to one another did not change. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, rather things between them were simply…quiet. Jensen knew it was because of Sneaky’s presence—with him around, things always seemed to be okay, even if they weren’t.

Against everything that he wanted to tell himself, Jensen knew that pushing Sneaky away wouldn’t help. All it did was make him feel empty. Jensen’s hand twitched towards Sneaky’s, but he quickly pulled his hand back. Jensen wanted to feel the warmth of Sneaky’s hand in his own, but Jensen knew was just being selfish. He wanted all these things from Sneaky that he could never give. But then why did Sneaky still indulge him? Why did Sneaky still smile at him, still laugh at his jokes, still share his warmth with him? Why did Sneaky pretend to care even if it wasn’t true? The worst part was, Jensen didn’t even know what to believe anymore. He couldn’t tell what Sneaky’s intentions were anymore and it was really starting to fuck with his head.

Jensen slowed down his steps, and eventually came to a complete stop. They’d barely just started to walk again, and already he was stopping them. Jensen’s hands were shaking, and this time it wasn’t because of the cold. Jensen was upset, and he knew exactly why. He wanted to avoid thinking about it, should the reason turn out to be true. It took a few seconds, but eventually, Jensen heard Sneaky slowly come to a stop ahead of him. Jensen frowned when Sneaky turned around to face him.

“Jensen?” Sneaky asked, wondering where his friend had gone, and why he’d suddenly fallen behind.

Jensen caught a glimpse of Sneaky’s face before tearing his eyes away from the marksman’s expression. His face was laced with concern and confusion, and a slight frown tugged at his lips. Jensen clenched his fists slightly—he didn't deserve this. He didn’t deserve the concern Sneaky was giving him. Jensen stared at the ground. It would’ve been so much easier if Sneaky just didn’t care about him. But he did, and Jensen hated the fact that he couldn’t tell whether or not he was just being friendly or if there was something more between them.

“Stop.” Jensen shook his head, and took a step back. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“I don’t understand.” Sneaky flinched at the sudden harshness of Jensen’s words. He took a small step forward, closing the rift that Jensen tried to make between them. Even now, Sneaky didn’t look hurt. All Jensen could see on his face was concern, and nothing indicated that he was upset. Jensen wanted to scream at how frustratingly accommodating Sneaky was being with his shitty behaviour, but bit down on his tongue to stop himself. “Like what?”

“Like you give a shit.” Jensen managed to say, even though he felt like his throat was going to seize up from the tears that threatened to spill out. Jensen took a deep breath, and tore his eyes away from Sneaky’s face. His voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “Like you love me.”

“It’s not nice to you with peoples’ feelings, you know?” Jensen choked out, and finally mustered the courage to look Sneaky right in the eye.

He wasn’t upset at Sneaky. He never could be. Instead, he was upset at himself for falling for his best friend. Silence settled over the pair once more, and for a moment, Sneaky looked like he was at a loss for words. Instead of talking, he took another step towards Jensen. When Jensen couldn’t find the energy within himself to move away, Sneaky took another step forwards. And another, and another, until eventually he was standing right in front of the mid laner. Sneaky lifted his hands to Jensen’s face, and the mid laner could see them tremble. Jensen didn’t know what to expect, and closed his eyes, afraid. Sneaky slowly removed the hood that concealed Jensen’s face from the world. Jensen felt exposed and he desperately wished that the hood was back on his head. Jensen shivered as the cold air blew against his now exposed neck. Sneaky’s hands rested at Jensen’s shoulders when he finally decided to open his eyes again.

“Is that what this is all about?” Sneaky asked, almost incredulously. Jensen felt Sneaky’s hand brush the side of his neck, and he hated the way warmth spread to the area that Sneaky touched. “You…you are the densest motherfucker I have ever met, and I cannot believe that I fell for you.”

Jensen was stunned, and couldn’t find anything to say in response no matter how hard he tried. Sneaky didn’t seem to care, however. His hand moved up to properly rest on the side of Jensen’s neck, and the mid laner flinched at the stark difference between their body temperatures. Sneaky’s hand burned heat into his body, but it was far from unwelcome, especially in the frigid atmosphere of the night.

“I do love you, dipshit.” Sneaky confessed, and Jensen was surprised to see Sneaky’s face flush. Sneaky’s cheeks were coloured a soft shade of pink, and Jensen blinked dumbly. For a moment, he was distracted by Sneaky’s bashful expression. It was hard not to be—Sneaky looked adorable. Jensen let out a shaky breath, drawing Sneaky’s attention back to his face.

“Then prove it.” Jensen said before he had the time to think about it. Jensen quickly shut his mouth as panic flooded his system. He wasn’t sure what compelled him to say it, but it was too late to take it back.

Jensen’s heart beat wildly in his chest as Sneaky leaned forward, and slowly inched his hand up along Jensen’s neck to cup his jaw. Sneaky’s thumb brushed Jensen’s cheek, and the gesture felt so intimate, so fond that he forgot how to breathe. There was a moment where everything was still—everything from the pounding of his heart in his chest, to the rustling of the leaves around them. The only thing Jensen cared to pay attention to was the person standing right before him. The same person who brought happiness to his life, who brought warmth into his chest every time they smiled and more.

Sneaky was so close to him now that Jensen could taste the vanilla latte on his breath. Jensen had a second to prepare himself, just long enough to push Sneaky away if he didn’t want it. When Jensen didn’t move away, Sneaky bridged the gap between them. At first, Jensen felt panic seize around his chest. He knew exactly what to expect, but it still caught him off guard. It wasn’t until Sneaky’s hand cupped the back of his neck that remembered to close his eyes, and enjoy the moment. Jensen allowed himself to relax, and sighed contentedly into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Sneaky’s waist, and pulled him in close.

Sneaky’s lips were just as soft as he imagined, if not even softer. The taste of the vanilla latte was subtle, but apparent enough for him to want more. The kiss was slow, but it set Jensen’s nerves ablaze nonetheless. Jensen let out a quiet gasp as Sneaky tangled his fingers in his hair, and Jensen gripped the marksman’s waist even tighter in response. Sneaky ran his tongue along Jensen’s lower lip, silently asking for permission. Jensen parted his lips, and Sneaky tilted Jensen’s chin up with his free hand, deepening the kiss. With his tongue freely exploring Sneaky’s mouth, the taste of his vanilla latte was even stronger, and Jensen couldn’t get enough. The kiss was sweet, almost sickeningly so, but it was perfect.

For the first time in a long while, Jensen felt like everything was right in the world. He could’ve sworn that in that very moment, he was the luckiest and happiest man in the world. His first kiss with Sneaky was everything he ever wanted, and more. When Sneaky finally broke the kiss to catch his breath, the first thought in Jensen’s mind was how he wanted to do that again. And again. And again, and as many times as Sneaky would let him. Jensen realized then how sore his cheeks felt. It occurred to him then just how much he was smiling. The last minute had finally caught up to him, and Jensen was fairly certain that he’d never blushed this hard in his life. Ever.

“Do you believe me now?” Sneaky asked, still breathless. He smiled brightly, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he did so. Jensen couldn’t help but stare at the marksman. Jensen finally had the time to appreciate everything he ever loved about Sneaky, and he didn’t have to worry about having to look away.

Yes, yes, yes, Jensen was convinced a million times over, but that didn’t stop him from fishing for more. “No.”

“No?” Sneaky was taken aback at first, and carefully observed Jensen’s face. He spotted Jensen’s sly grin, and quickly clued in on his plan. Both of Sneaky’s hands now rested on the small of Jensen’s back, keeping him close. “What do I have to do to convince you then, hm?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen drawled, and smiled at Sneaky playfully. He drummed his fingers on Sneaky’s hip, earning him a small bubble of laughter from his teammate. “But I think another kiss would help.”

“Come here, you little shit.” Sneaky pulled Jensen in for another kiss, this time with less hesitance than the last.

Jensen allowed his eyes to flutter shut this time, and the panic that was in his mind previously was completely gone. The kiss was just as sweet as the last one, and Jensen couldn’t express how warm he felt. When they pulled away again, it wasn’t for long. Sneaky tugged Jensen forward again by the strings of his hoodie, and showered Jensen with kisses of affection. He littered kisses along Jensen’s cheeks, lips, and nose. Sneaky’s hand found its way into Jensen’s own, and he gripped it tightly. The cold midnight air around him didn’t even phase him anymore, and instead all he could focus on was the warmth of Sneaky’s hand as he held it. By the end of it all, Jensen’s head was in the clouds, and there was a smile on his face that didn’t want to leave. His heart was fluttering in his chest, and normally, he’d be annoyed by it. But just this once, he let himself be okay with it.

“I swear to God. You’re going to kill me.” Sneaky sighed with fond exasperation. He reached up, and brushed away a stray strand of Jensen’s hair, tucking it behind his ear.

“Why so?” Jensen hummed quietly, and patiently awaited Sneaky’s answer, though he had a slight suspicion as to what it was going to be.

“You’re so fucking adorable that it hurts.” Sneaky answered, and his affection for the mid laner squeezed at his heart. Sneaky’s thumb rubbed mindless circles on the back of Jensen’s hand, and Jensen could feel the fondness in his touch. Jensen laughed at Sneaky’s expression, and his shoulders shook in Sneaky’s hold. Sneaky hook his head profusely. “No, stop that. Stop being so cute.”

“You first.” Jensen countered once his laughter had died down. His cheeks were starting to feel sore from how much he was smiling, but Jensen couldn’t be bothered to care. The air around them shifted from frantic excitement to a more serene atmosphere. It was easy to simply enjoy the company of his teammate, but Jensen appreciated Sneaky’s presence now more than ever.  

“Why didn’t you just kiss me earlier?” Sneaky asked, and ran his hand along the slope of Jensen’s neck. Sneaky’s touch sent shivers down Jensen’s spine, and he leaned into the warmth it offered. Sneaky fingers started to play with the hair at the back of Jensen’s neck, and a small smile tugged at his lips. “I would’ve been fine with it, y'know?”

“Yeah?” Jensen raised an eyebrow at the marksman. He faintly registered the fact that they were currently sharing a rather intimate moment out in public, but quickly brushed the thought aside. Jensen hadn’t seen anyone else walk into the park since they entered nearly 20 minutes ago. “And how was I supposed to know that?”

“Dude. I’ve been flirting with you for months. Hell, years, even.” Sneaky cried incredulously, and poked Jensen lightly in the nose, laughing at the way his face scrunched up in response. “How obvious did you want me to get?”

Jensen laughed at Sneaky’s misfortune, and decided to keep his end of the struggles quiet for time being. “No, fuck you for being so dense! Do you know how hard I pined for you?”

“Hey, I pined for you just as much!” Jensen laughed even harder, and stumbled slightly when Sneaky shoved him lightly. Sneaky’s face burned with embarrassment as he buried his face in Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen reached up to embrace the marksman, and snickered into his ear. “You and your stupid little fuckin’ smile always distracted me during our VOD reviews 'cause all I wanted to do was kiss you!”

“Yeah, sucks that you were too big of a pussy to do it. I ended up having to be the one to make the first move, fuck you.” Sneaky huffed, and tilted his face so he could look at Jensen. Sneaky caught Jensen’s adoring expression, and felt his mind go blank. Sneaky blinked, and waited for his thoughts to recover from Jensen’s adorably distracting face.

“Well, at least it worked out in the end.” Jensen mused, stared off into the distance. The tree branches swayed rhythmically, and Jensen found himself caught up in their tranquil movements. Jensen felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. For years Jensen had been so worried about ruining their friendship that he forced himself to swallow his feelings. Try as he might, Sneaky always managed to drag those feelings back to the surface without fail. At least now he knew better than to try and bury them.

“There’s still a shit load of time left until the party ends.” Sneaky pointed out, and briefly let go of Jensen’s hand to check the time. Much to Jensen’s own surprise, he didn’t feel the loss of Sneaky’s hand as much as he did a while back. When Sneaky threaded his fingers between Jensen’s own once more, he welcomed the contact with a smile. “There’s two hours left until midnight, to be specific.”

“What the hell do we do until then?” Jensen sighed, and quietly wondered how people had it in themselves to party for several hours straight. He supposed the alcohol helped a lot.

“Who knows.” Sneaky shrugged, and lightly tugged Jensen forward. Sneaky turned to face the path that led them out of the park, and gave Jensen a small smile over his shoulder. “We’ll figure something out.”

Jensen rolled his eyes at Sneaky’s overly positive demeanour, but allowed himself to be pulled forwards with their hands intertwined. “Whatever you say.”

—

To pass the time, Sneaky had the bright idea to drag Jensen to every corner of the city that was within walking distance, and managed to get them lost. By the time they returned to the house, it was an entire hour past midnight. The pair snuck into the quiet house with their poorly muffled snickers, and pushed the front door open as silently as they could manage. Every time someone’s laughter threatened to grow louder, it was met with exaggerated hushing, and even more laughter.

“Shut the fuck up!” Sneaky whispered harshly, and abruptly froze when he spotted some movement in the corner of his eye.

“You first.” Jensen replied, and rolled his eyes.

All the lights were turned off in the house, forcing the pair to rely on the flashlights on their phones if they wanted to avoid stepping on something, or someone. Sneaky held Jensen’s hand tightly, and the pair quietly tiptoed around the empty beer bottles and crushed red solo cups that were strewn across the living room. There were a few passed out faces that neither Jensen nor Sneaky recognized, and they were carefully draped on the couches. Careful to not wake them up, Sneaky covered his mouth with his hand, and continued to yank Jensen forward.

The pair fumbled into Jensen’s room, where they promptly shut the door behind themselves. Jensen blindly ran his hands along the wall until he felt the light switch. He flicked his bedroom light on, and winced at the sudden bright light. Jensen slumped against the door, with Sneaky haphazardly draped against him. Jensen’s sides hurt from laughing so much, and he needed a minute (or two) to recover. Jensen wrapped his arms around the giggling marksman at his chest, and rested his chin atop his head. Jensen waited until Sneaky’s laughter died down before pulling away. Jensen had a curious smile on his face, one that Sneaky answered with a playful grin of his own.

“I can’t believe you actually got us lost.” Jensen shook his head when Sneaky’s grin only grew wider. “This is all your fault, you know?”

“I told you we shouldn’t have made a left turn!” Sneaky cried in defence of himself, and pouted at Jensen. With just one look, Jensen’s resolve was shattered. Jensen sucked in a deep breath, and tore his eyes away from Sneaky’s stupidly blue puppy dog eyes. While Jensen’s eyes were diverted from Sneaky’s face, a look of victory flashed across the marksman’s features.

“Fine, fine.” Jensen conceded, and picked himself off of the door. He gently ushered Sneaky further into his room, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling away from their embrace.

Jensen quickly flicked off his bedroom light, and instead turned on the lamp on his nightstand. The light from his lamp was significantly dimmer than his overhead light, and it strained his eyes far less. Jensen unzipped Sneaky’s hoodie, and threw it onto his chair, not caring when it landed on it like a bundle of fabric. As Jensen kicked off his own shoes, he motioned for Sneaky to do the same.

Jensen hesitated for a fraction of a second, before reaching out to grab Sneaky’s hand and pull him towards the bed. When Sneaky raised an eyebrow at him, Jensen flushed a deep shade of red. “W-What? I just wanted to cuddle with you.”

Sneaky nodded slowly, and kept a sly smirk on his face. “Right.”

Jensen’s brain stuttered to a stop when he realized what Sneaky had implied, and turned away before he could embarrass himself any further. Jensen led Sneaky to the bed, but Sneaky stopped right before they reached it. This time, it was Jensen’s turn to be confused. Sneaky lightly pushed Jensen onto the bed, and waited for him to settle down before continuing. “Give me a second to get more comfortable first.”

Jensen watched Sneaky with rapt curiosity, and his eyes widened as he realized what Sneaky was doing.  Sneaky started to lift the bottom of his sweater up and over his head. As he did so, the shirt he wore underneath it hiked up above his waist, and revealed a flash of Sneaky’s bare skin. Jensen choked, and found himself unable to tear his eyes away from the exposed patch of skin. Jensen couldn’t help but be distracted by it, and it was only made worse when his mind started to wander. Lost in his thoughts, Jensen was unable to look away fast enough before Sneaky caught him. Jensen made eye contact with Sneaky’s questioning gaze, and finally forced himself to divert his eyes with a shallow cough.

“The shirt can come off too, if you’d like.” Sneaky teased, and reached down to grab the hem of his shirt. Jensen reached out, and stopped Sneaky’s hands before they had the chance to reveal even more of his smooth, smooth skin.

“N-No, no. It’s fine.” Jensen said far too quickly, and wrenched his eyes shut, as if it would force the blush off of his face. Jensen bit his lip, and shoved all thoughts of Sneaky’s bare skin to the back of his mind. “You can keep your shirt on.”

“If you insist.” Sneaky said, pretending to be disappointed as he approached the bed. Sneaky sat down next to Jensen, and leaned into his side.

“There will be plenty of time to stare later, I promise.” Sneaky winked, and wore a flirty smile. He ran his hand through his hair, making it a touch messier. Jensen coughed dryly when Sneaky licked his lips, and shifted on his spot on the bed.

“For now,” Sneaky fell back onto the inviting comfort of the bed, and stretched his arms out. Sneaky made grabby hands at Jensen’s shirt, and urged the mid laner to join him. “Come cuddle with me, bitch. You were the one who wanted this in the first place.”

Jensen nodded, and nudged Sneaky over a bit before lying down next to him. Jensen’s bed was fairly small, and the pair had a bit of difficulty finding a position that was comfortable for the both of them. Jensen’s limbs were long and lanky, and his elbows and knees kept poking into Sneaky’s sides. Sneaky couldn’t help but laugh at Jensen’s embarrassment, and quietly hushed his concerns with a kiss to the forehead. With a bit of maneuvering and shifting around, they eventually settled down. Jensen was closer to Sneaky now than he’d ever been before, and it was…a more than welcome change.

Sneaky buried his face in Jensen’s chest, and wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist. Jensen’s chest swelled with affection as Sneaky curled up next to him. The air conditioning in the house was still cranked up to high, and normally, Jensen would’ve buried himself under three different blankets. With Sneaky lying next to him however, the extra body heat was enough to keep the cold at bay. Once Sneaky had made himself comfortable next to Jensen’s side, Jensen brought his hand up to Sneaky’s hair, and stopped himself short. Sneaky was busy nuzzling his chest, and didn’t notice the hesitance that swept through Jensen’s mind in that moment.

After a great deal of pointless thinking, Jensen swallowed his doubts and threaded his fingers through Sneaky’s hair. Sneaky made a pleased sound, and leaned into his touch. Jensen felt his cheeks flush at how receptive Sneaky was to his touch, and continued to play with the soft, soft hair. Jensen combed his fingers through Sneaky’s hair, delighting in the way the blond locks felt like silk against his fingers—and much to Jensen’s own surprise, there wasn’t a single knot to be found.

“I never thought that I’d ever be able to do this.” Jensen commented quietly. Jensen withdrew his hand slightly when Sneaky pulled away from his chest to meet his gaze.

“What, play with my hair?” Sneaky asked, and laughed lightly when Jensen nodded his head. Sneaky reached up, and slowly guided Jensen’s hand back into his hair. Sneaky’s eyes fluttered shut, and he sighed contentedly. “Well, I think it feels nice, and that means you’re free to play with my hair for as long as you want.”

The pair lay next to each other in silence, and the quiet ticking of Jensen’s clock in the background was the only indication of time passing. The sound was accompanied by the faint sound of their breathing, and Jensen appreciated the peacefulness of the moment. It was nice, Jensen thought, to simply laze around in bed with Sneaky. There wasn’t much movement aside from his hand that was preoccupied with Sneaky’s hair, the occasional shift of their limbs, and whenever Sneaky decided to snuggle closer to his chest. There was nothing special about what they were doing per se, but it was more than Jensen ever imagined he’d be doing with Sneaky, and it filled him with a deep sense of love for the marksman. Still, there was something that Jensen wanted to be certain about.

“This means we’re official, right?” Jensen asked, and the hesitation in his voice was made clear when he stuttered. Sneaky snorted against Jensen’s chest, and pulled away to stare up at the mid laner.

“Yes, it does, you idiot.” Sneaky reassured Jensen, and playfully poked the mid laner on the nose. Jensen blinked on instinct, and lightly swatted away Sneaky’s hand, muttering a faint stop that, as he did so. It didn’t stop a smile from forming on Jensen’s face however, and Sneaky counted it as another victory. Jensen cleared his throat, drawing Sneaky’s attention once more.

“I’ve uh. Never actually done this before—been in a proper relationship, that is.” Jensen admitted nervously, and stared at the wall behind Sneaky. He felt Sneaky nod, which prompted him to continue. “Dumb flings every now and then, but nothing particularly meaningful.”

“Mm, we can take things as slow as you want.” Sneaky soothed with a hushed voice, and traced delicate patterns onto Jensen’s back. Sneaky’s hand served as a distraction from his own intrusive thoughts, and Jensen appreciated it more than he could express in words. Sneaky pressed a light kiss to Jensen’s collarbone, and looked at Jensen closely. “Do you want to tell the others?”

Jensen paused to think about Sneaky’s question. He wasn’t ashamed of being in a relationship with Sneaky, God no. His doubts were his own, and they came from within. “Not yet.”

“Alright then, we can wait.” Sneaky agreed simply, and rested his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck. Their legs were tangled together, and Jensen felt safe next to Sneaky. He felt like the world could have thrown anything at him, and he would’ve been able to overcome it. Sneaky’s breath tickled at his neck, but Jensen didn’t find himself caring too much. “But you do know that everyone on this team has been trying to get us in each other’s pants, right?”

Jensen knew that it was Sneaky’s way of telling him that the team would accept their relationship, and he appreciated the message. Even then, Jensen didn’t care what everyone else would think or say about them. Everything had happened so quickly—he’d gone from being frustrated over his feelings, to cuddling with the person he’d pined for several years in the span of a day. It was a lot to wrap his mind around. With a deep sigh, Jensen leaned forward and tucked Sneaky’s head under his chin. Jensen clung to the marksman as if he would vanish if he let go, and buried his face in the blond locks of hair. Jensen breathed in, and found himself strangely comforted by the familiar scent of Sneaky’s shampoo.

“I know that. I just want to…come to terms with things first.” Jensen mumbled into Sneaky’s hair. “Get a feel for what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone.”

“It’s just—we’ve been friends for so long.” Jensen elaborated, and struggled to articulate his thoughts clearly. He was blurting out whatever came to mind, and hoped that it was enough for Sneaky to understand.  "I just have to get used to the fact that there are things I can do with you now that I couldn’t do before.“

Jensen smiled affectionately at Sneaky, and lightly kissed the top of his head. "Like kiss you.”

“I could get used to receiving kisses from you.” Sneaky replied playfully, earning him a quick burst of laughter from his partner. Sneaky opted to return the favour, and gently kissed his way up Jensen’s jaw. “We’ll work everything out eventually.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jensen spoke up abruptly, though he had great difficulty getting his request out. Instead, Jensen did what he always did when he didn’t know how to get his point across—he started to ramble. “I mean like, I know I’ve been asking you for a lot tonight, especially with the whole kissing and cuddling thing.”

“Jensen.”

“Which is really nice by the way, I really, really like this—” Jensen continued to ramble nervously, conveniently ignoring Sneaky’s first attempt to get his attention.

“Jensen.” Sneaky cut in, and finally succeeded in silencing the mid laner. “You wanted to ask me something?”

“Right.” Jensen mentally shook himself for getting distracted by his own thoughts—again. Jensen gripped the back of Sneaky’s shirt, and remembered what he was trying to ask in the first place. “Will you stay with me for the night?”

Sneaky blinked at Jensen confusedly. With the way Jensen worked himself up over it, Sneaky expected it to be much worse.

“Is that it?” Sneaky furrowed his brows, and looked up at Jensen intently. Sneaky huffed out a laugh as his heart was filled with fondness for the man he held in his arms. “Of course I’ll stay with you.”

“I’m not gonna leave you, Jensen. Especially not while I’m all cozy n’ shit lying next to you.” Sneaky reassured Jensen with a warm smile on his face. Sneaky traced a faint heart on Jensen’s back, and snickered lightly when a blush crept up onto Jensen’s cheeks. “I’ll stay over as much as you want me to.”

“Every other night?” Jensen proposed tentatively, and returned Sneaky’s smile shyly.

“Sure.” Sneaky accepted with ease, and Jensen wondered why his heart swelled over such a simple thing. Jensen wished that it meant the last of his worries was dispelled, but deep down he knew there was still something. Something he didn’t want to express in words because it hurt to just think about it.

“There’s still something else on your mind, isn’t there?” Sneaky asked suddenly, as if he read Jensen’s mind.

Jensen’s eyes widened with surprise. “Is it that obvious?”

“To me, yeah.” Sneaky raised an eyebrow at Jensen. He wasn’t amazing at reading people, not by far, but with Jensen, it came rather easily to him. After years of knowing him, Sneaky learned all the subtle cues that indicated what Jensen could’ve been thinking or feeling at any given moment. “You’re like an open book around me.”

It was something they both noticed. For whatever reason, the walls that Jensen built up around himself vanished completely when he was around Sneaky. Sneaky’s piercing blue eyes saw right through whatever bullshit Jensen made up without fail, and soon enough he realized he couldn’t hide from Sneaky. Jensen realized that he didn't want to hide from Sneaky. On stage, in front of crowds of thousands of people, he was different—Jensen was focused on winning, and even played up his cocky attitude. When he was alone with Sneaky, he was…okay with being himself. In some ways, he didn’t like it. Jensen didn’t like the feeling of being exposed, the feeling of being read. But the more time he spent with Sneaky, the less and less he felt like it was a bad thing. Jensen knew he could trust Sneaky, even though it took a great deal of effort to open up to him.

“Talk to me, Jensen.” Sneaky said earnestly, and reached his hand up to brush Jensen’s cheek with his thumb. Jensen knew he wanted to tell Sneaky, to let him in, but it was so, so hard to. Still, Sneaky waited patiently. He waited for Jensen to find the right words to say, and Jensen felt his chest tighten. Jensen let out a shuddery breath, and finally forced the words out.

“I don’t deserve this.” Jensen said at last, and stared at the wall behind Sneaky instead of looking him in the eye. Jensen felt the hand on his back come to a stop, and Jensen quickly scrambled to string his next sentence together. Jensen knew Sneaky’s eyes were on him, but he couldn’t dare to look at them. “I mean, there has to be someone out there that’s better for you. Someone who isn’t an asshole.”

“Sure, you may be an asshole, but so am I.” Sneaky added once Jensen had stopped talking. The marksman tilted Jensen’s head so he could look at him in the eyes. “I think it’s part of why we work so well together, you feel me?”

“And besides, I don't want anyone else.” Sneaky watched as Jensen swallowed nervously, and he could see the panic flash Jensen’s eyes. Sneaky reached down to grab Jensen’s hand, and laced their fingers together. Sneaky rubbed soothing circles into the back of Jensen’s hand, and waited for him to calm down. “I only want you.”

“I fell in love with you, not someone else.” Jensen remained painfully silent, and it would’ve deterred Sneaky if he wasn’t already committed to proving his point. Sneaky cared about Jensen, and he would’ve done anything to prove it. “I fell in love with everything about you. Even your flaws.”

“You…you deserve to be happy.” Sneaky said, and moved his free hand down to Jensen’s chest. Sneaky’s palm rested against Jensen’s heart, and the beating of his heart revealed the things that were on his mind. Sneaky hummed quietly, “And I hope to make you as happy as you make me.”

“You already do.” Jensen whispered quietly, and if the room wasn’t already silent, Sneaky would’ve missed it. Jensen’s eyes widened—the words slipped out of his mouth before he could even think about them. Jensen quickly wrenched his eyes shut, too afraid to see Sneaky’s reaction to what he said. Jensen could already feel his face start to heat up from embarrassment. “Oh, shit. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

Jensen knew his heart was racing, and though he tried to hide his emotions, he knew Sneaky could feel it. His shoulders felt stiff, and his lips were pressed together in a thin line. Jensen was…nervous—he was more nervous than when he played on stage against SKT. His anxiety gnawed at his insides despite all the things Sneaky was trying to do to soothe him. Jensen heard Sneaky’s breath hitch, and he couldn’t tell if it was in a good or bad way. Sneaky gripped Jensen’s hand even tighter, and he heard the marksman take a deep, shuddery breath.

“I—” Sneaky stuttered, his words suddenly a lot harder to come by than they were a few moments ago.   He didn’t expect Jensen to say that, and suddenly all he could hear was the sound of blood rushing to his ears. Jensen didn’t know just how nervous Sneaky was in that moment—Sneaky was just as nervous as him. As Sneaky looked at Jensen’s flustered expression, he felt like he was falling in love with the mid laner all over again. Sneaky brought his hand back up to Jensen’s face, and gently cupped his cheek. “I’m so, so glad to hear that.”

Jensen took a deep breath, and finally allowed himself to open his eyes again. Jensen looked into Sneaky’s brilliant blue eyes, then quickly snapped them away. Sneaky’s eyes were too honest, too fond, and Jensen hesitated to properly look at them. Jensen didn’t want to know what would happen if the look went away, so he figured it would be easier to simply…not look at all. Jensen didn’t think he’d ever be able to forget Sneaky’s look of fondness if they were to break up. Before Jensen could follow that train of thought, Sneaky gently brushed his cheek with his thumb. Jensen was snapped back to reality, but still avoided Sneaky’s gaze.

“I can tell you’re still afraid.” Sneaky pointed out quietly. Sneaky knew he had to be patient—the last thing he wanted to happen was for Jensen to completely shut him out. “Even now, you won’t look me in the eye.”

“I’m not going to leave you the moment something goes wrong, Jensen.” Sneaky reassured Jensen softly, and pressed a light kiss against the mid laner’s lips. Sneaky loved this man so damn much, and he wished there was an easier way to get Jensen to understand. “Let me prove to you that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Trust me.” Sneaky could only hope that he wasn’t asking for too much out of Jensen. When Jensen finally looked up at Sneaky, the marksman felt relief flood into his body. Sneaky could see the hesitation in Jensen’s eyes, but he wasn’t looking away now, and a bright smile found its way onto Sneaky’s face. Ever so slowly, the hesitance faded from Jensen’s icy blue eyes, and he lightly nodded his head.

“…Okay. I trust you.” Jensen said at last, because he does trust Sneaky. Jensen has always trusted Sneaky, but saying the words made it feel all the more real. No matter how many times he tried to talk himself into doubting things, he could never doubt his sense of trust for Sneaky—it was the one of the few things he was always certain about (that, and his feelings for the marksman, of course).

Now that the words were finally out, Jensen felt relief rush through his system. Another weight had been lifted off his chest, and all it took was for him to place his trust in Sneaky. Jensen took in a deep breath, and finally worked up the courage to hold Sneaky’s gaze again. Jensen could see the love in Sneaky’s eyes, and waited for the fear of it going away to bubble up again—but it never did.

“Can I kiss you?” Jensen asked, and reached out to lightly tilt Sneaky’s chin up. Jensen’s thumb brushed the corner of Sneaky’s lip, and the marksman continued to stare at him with his bright blue doe-like eyes.

“What?” A look of confusion crossed Sneaky’s face as he parsed Jensen’s question. Jensen didn’t ask to kiss him before, so why was he doing it now? “I mean, yeah. Totally. Kiss me.”

Jensen tilted Sneaky’s chin up, and pulled him in close. This time, Jensen was the one to initiate the kiss, and Sneaky followed his lead with ease. Jensen brushed his lips against Sneaky’s, and let his eyes flutter shut. Sneaky squeezed his hand lightly as Jensen kissed him with more insistence than last time. Jensen felt the hand on his chest grab a fistful of his shirt, while the sound of Sneaky’s content sigh filled his ears. Jensen traced Sneaky’s lower lip with the tip of his tongue, and smiled faintly to himself when Sneaky parted his lips for him. Jensen slipped his tongue into Sneaky’s mouth, and slowly started to map all the details into his mind. Jensen heard Sneaky’s breath hitch, and took it as a sign to deepen the kiss.

Jensen could still taste hints of vanilla latte on Sneaky’s tongue, and chased after the pleasantly sweet taste hungrily. He threaded his fingers through Sneaky’s hair, relishing in the hushed gasp that the marksman let out. Jensen dedicated his mind to remembering all the things that got a reaction out of Sneaky, from the way grazing his bottom lip would cause his breath to catch in his throat, to the way he would groan quietly as his hair was gripped even tighter. Jensen removed his hand from Sneaky’s hair, only to rest it at the back of his neck. Jensen felt Sneaky’s skin heat up as he ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth, and burned the sound of Sneaky’s breathy moan into his memory.

Jensen finally pulled away to catch his breath, and looked at Sneaky lovingly. Sneaky’s face was flushed, and the quiet sound of his panting was the only noise that the marksman made for a while. Sneaky’s eyes wandered up to meet Jensen’s gaze with a faint look of surprise in them. Sneaky always had the slight suspicion that Jensen was a good kisser but he was floored by just how good Jensen was. Sneaky wordlessly stared at Jensen’s smug smile, and lightly shook his head.

“Why did you ask to kiss me?” Sneaky asked Jensen with a raised eyebrow. Not that he minded the question, but it still caught him off guard. “I’m your boyfriend now, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. I just like hearing you say yes.” Jensen answered simply, and snickered quietly at the way Sneaky’s face turned even redder than it was previously.

Jensen’s snickers grew into laughter when Sneaky tried to hide his blush with his hands, which did nothing but make the marksman’s blush even worse. Jensen found the move to be so endearing, and wrapped his arms around Sneaky’s body, holding the marksman still as he tried to squirm away from his embrace. Jensen ignored Sneaky’s muffled cries of 'no, you’re gay, let me go’, and laughed over his protests. Jensen understood why Sneaky got such a kick out of making him blush—not only was it amusing to watch Sneaky grow embarrassed, it was also adorable as hell. Sneaky swatted at Jensen’s back in a poor attempt to get him to let go. Sneaky eventually gave up, and let his arms fall onto the bed with a dull thud.

“You fucking hopeless romantic.” Sneaky muttered under his breath as his face burned from embarrassment. Sneaky turned his face away, and playfully shoved Jensen on the shoulder. Jensen wrapped his arms around Sneaky even tighter, and the marksman let out a final sigh of defeat. Although his face was covered, Jensen could feel Sneaky smile against his chest.

“I never thought I’d get to call you that. My boyfriend.” The entire situation still felt so surreal to Jensen, but some how, saying the word out loud made it this much easier to believe it. Jensen loosened his hold on Sneaky, and pulled away. Sneaky’s cheeks were still coloured a pale pink, and Jensen would’ve pinched his cheeks if his arms weren’t busy hugging the marksman. Jensen caught Sneaky’s flustered eyes, and smiled at him shyly.

“Well, I’m yours now, for as long as you’ll have me.” Sneaky replied fondly, and mirrored Jensen’s smile with one of his own. Jensen’s breath was taken away by Sneaky’s smile, and he was reminded of the first time he realized his feelings for his teammate. It was back at that shitty swing set, and his heart squeezed as he was reminded of the memory.

“Hopefully forever.” Jensen whispered quietly before he had the chance to stop himself. Jensen felt his heart skip a beat—he did not just say that out loud. Jensen quickly realized how bad he was at holding his tongue around Sneaky. What Sneaky said was already bad enough, and Jensen just had to go and one up him…. “Shit. That was—”

“Really gay.” Sneaky joked, completing Jensen’s sentence with an amused grin. Jensen made a choked sound, then nodded his head in agreement. There wasn’t a single thing about their current situation that wasn't gay, and the fact made Sneaky’s joke even funnier.

Jensen can only wonder how flustered he looked at the moment, because Sneaky was trying so hard to not laugh at him. Every time a giggle slipped from Sneaky’s lips, Jensen found that it was even harder to hold in his own laughter. They tried to avoid laughing for what must’ve been minutes, before Jensen finally broke the silence.

“Sneaky pride.”

As the words slipped out of Jensen’s mouth, the pair burst out into laughter. Jensen knew he was being immature, and he silently thanked Sneaky for indulging his shitty sense of humour. The sound of their giggles filled the silence in the once quiet room, spreading happiness to the air around them. Jensen’s heart felt so full of love and affection for the man he held in his arms, and Jensen could tell that Sneaky felt the same way. Jensen pulled Sneaky in close, and pressed their foreheads together. Jensen wanted to cherish this moment forever, and wondered what exactly he’d done to deserve this newfound happiness. In that moment, Jensen knew that no matter where the future took him, he would always want to have Sneaky by his side.

Jensen caught Sneaky’s gaze, and couldn’t help it when a smile crept onto his face. Jensen was unsurprised to see that Sneaky was already smiling at him. “God, you’re perfect. Where have you been my entire life?”

“Right next door, dumbass.” Sneaky replied with ease, and smiled smugly at Jensen. “Too bad it took you this long to notice.”

“Fuck off, don’t make me kick you out of my bed.” Jensen huffed petulantly, knowing that his hesitance to initiate their relationship would be subjected to Sneaky’s teasing for a long, long time.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Sneaky gasped out in mock offense, which only caused Jensen to narrow his eyes at the marksman. Sneaky didn’t buy Jensen’s threat, and his smile grew even more smug.

“I bet you can’t even push me out of this bed.” Sneaky said with confidence, and the look in his eyes silently dared Jensen to try. “Especially not with those noodle arms of yours.”

“Is that a challenge?” Jensen simply raised an eyebrow at Sneaky, and wiggled out of Sneaky’s embrace to sit up on his bed. Jensen wedged his hands underneath Sneaky’s body, and started to nudge him towards the edge. Sneaky’s eyes widened with surprise, and he quickly grabbed onto Jensen’s shirt to try and stop him.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Sneaky cried out, and stared up at Jensen pleadingly. “You’re not actually going to kick me out, are you?”

“I can, and I will, bitch.” Jensen answered plainly. It was his turn to be smug, because Sneaky started to vehemently shake his head.

“No, Jensen you can’t do this do me.” Sneaky whined, and started to resist Jensen’s effort to push him out of the bed. Despite his attempts, Sneaky found himself being pushed closer, and closer to the edge of the bed. At this rate, he was going to fall out of it. If he wanted to stay in the bed, he was going to have to do something, and quickly. “Okay, you asked for this.”

“Two can play that game.” Sneaky said pointedly, and it was Jensen’s only warning before Sneaky managed to tug Jensen toward the bed, and used his downward momentum to flip him onto his back. Jensen let out a startled sound, and his head spun slightly from how quickly his position had changed. Sneaky’s hands kept Jensen’s shoulders pinned to the bed, and his knees rested on either side of the mid laner’s hips.

Jensen stared up at the marksman, distracted by the way Sneaky’s hair was parted perfectly, even in this position. Jensen swallowed thickly, all the control he had over the situation slipped out of his fingers, and now Sneaky was in charge. Jensen quietly wondered what Sneaky was going to do next, especially since they were in such a…suggestive position. Sneaky brushed Jensen’s bangs to the side, and leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead. Jensen’s eyes fluttered shut, and he felt his heartbeat speed up as Sneaky’s lips trailed along the bridge of his nose, before planting another kiss at the tip of his nose.

Jensen tried to squirm away from Sneaky’s sloppy kisses, embarrassed by the sudden display of affection. Jensen’s face was on fire, and this fact only spurred Sneaky forwards. Sneaky pecked both of Jensen’s cheeks, and grabbed his chin to tilt the mid laner’s face back towards him. Jensen knew what to expect next, but still felt his heart skip a beat when Sneaky’s lips finally brushed against his own. Jensen gave up on his squirming, and allowed Sneaky to have his way with him. Jensen could feel the way Sneaky’s lips curled into a smile after that, but Jensen was too lost in the kiss to care.

“I win.” Sneaky declared once he pulled away from the kiss. The smug look was still on Sneaky face, and Jensen merely pouted in response. Sneaky’s smug expression wavered ever so slightly as a result, and Jensen figured a small victory was better than none.

“This time, maybe. But next time, I won’t go easy on you.” Jensen retorted, and poked Sneaky in the chest warningly. Jensen grabbed at the hem of Sneaky’s shirt, and tugged on it lightly. “Get your ass back on the bed.”

“Alright, chill.” Sneaky rolled his eyes playfully, and allowed Jensen to pull him back down onto the bed. Once settled, Sneaky turned to face Jensen. “Wait, do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?”

Jensen furrowed his brows, and mentally weighed the pros and cons of each option. Eventually, he rolled over so his back was facing Sneaky. “I’ll be the little spoon.”

“Fine with me.” Sneaky grinned and wrapped his arms and legs around Jensen’s small frame. Jensen fit snugly against Sneaky’s chest, and everything about their situation was so cozy that for the first time since the night had started, Jensen felt tired.

Jensen yawned as if on cue, causing Sneaky to chuckle lightly. “Tired already?”

“Fuck you, it’s been a long day.” Jensen mumbled sleepily, and tugged on Sneaky’s arms until they were wrapped comfortably around his waist. The events of the day had finally caught up to him, and Jensen felt his eyelids start to grow heavy.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Sneaky agreed eventually, and smiled fondly at the half asleep mid laner in his arms. Sneaky shook his head lightly, and briefly let go of Jensen to turn the light off.

Sneaky leaned forward, and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Jensen’s head. “Good night.”

“G’night.” Jensen said quietly, and smiled faintly at the subtle gesture from Sneaky.

Jensen felt like a flame inside his heart had been rekindled after so many years of being cold. For a while, Jensen wasn’t too sure what he wanted out of life. He was content with where he was in life, but it always felt like something was missing. Ever since he left Denmark, there was an icy feeling inside his heart that he wouldn’t go away.

He’d grown so used to distancing himself from people that he forgot what it was like to love someone. But now, Jensen’s heart felt so full. He even didn’t know it was possible to be this happy. The years of pining and countless hours he spent moping in his room suddenly felt like it was worth it. Jensen would have gone through that period of his life over and over again if it meant he could be with Sneaky at the end of it all.

It had been a long time coming, but Jensen finally felt…complete. Jensen waited for the icy feeling to seep back into his bones, but it never did. For the first time since he first met Sneaky, Jensen finally allowed himself to accept the warmth that Sneaky had been trying to share with him all these years. With Sneaky’s warmth enveloping him like a blanket, Jensen allowed the enticing pull of sleep to overcome his senses.

[thefandomplague]

Mr. Barnes Will See You Now (11)

Prompt: 50 Shades of Barnes. VERY LOOSELY BASED!!!

Note: I do not own any of the characters or story line.

A/N: Busy week( I got my license and passport and hopefully will be leaving to the USA in a month of two to go aupair) So here it is, hope you like it! Please hit me up with requests if you have any, I might need a break from writing this soon... because Part 12 is already done and 13 is on it’s way! ;)

Word Count:  1905

( Part 1 ) ( Part 2 ) ( Part 3 ) ( Part 4 ) ( Part 5 ) ( Part 6 ) ( Part 7 ) ( Part 8 ) ( Part 9 ) ( Part 10 )

You sat down at the café chair by the window and bounced your leg nervously as you looked out at the surprisingly warm weather that had come today. You ordered your drink and looked at your painted nails and rings on your hands as you held the cup for dear life, and thought how odd it was that you where so nervous right now waiting for someone who you barley knew. Was it nerves... something was going on with your stomach though...before you could get through your thoughts any further you saw him silently sit down in front of you. Looking exceptionally guilty.

" Y/N..."

"James..."

" Look I'm sor-"

" No, I am..."

James' head snapped up and you could see his eyes warily regard you as if you were setting a trap. However you were just trying to avoid an argument, you were already mad, you had said 8:30 and he decided to show up thirty minutes late.

" It was rude and stupid of me to run off like that. I am sorry. You had work, I don't know why I reacted like that. I completely over reacted."

He waited a moment before talking, taking in your features to see if you were being sincere.

" I was rude. I should have called off my meeting when they said they were running late."

You sighed in relief.

" That wasn't so hard."

He raised his brows.

" And if I hadn't apologized? "

You hesitated before responding.

" We both apologized that's all that matters..."

" But if I hadn't? "

You could see he was looking for an argument over this right now. You looked down at you watch and stood up.

" If you hadn't this would be a very different conversation James. Also, I understand you work, but you were and hour and sixteen minutes late when I decided to hit the road. Then you asked for a second chance today, hell you dared me to give you a second chance, claiming I spook easy, but it would appear you're the easy spook James, you are 30 minutes late when I know your company doesn't officially open until 9 and I have another appointment."

James quickly looked at his watch, you could see the "oh shit" on his face.

" I'm sorry y/n, I didn't even s-"

" Leaving now. Thanks for the company Mr. Barnes."

You said as you threw your notes on the table and went to walk away. James rushed up and grabbed your arm.

" Please, allow me to make it up to you tonight? "

" I have plans to-"

" Tomorrow then? Any day, pick it and it will be all yours."

His voice was pleading and almost desperate.

You sighed and couldn't believe what was about to come out your mouth. His face broke your heart.

" Fine, tomorrow. But YOU tell ME what is a good time."

He nodded as you turned.

" Until then Barnes."

You stated as you walked out the door, slipping on your sunglasses. You didn't dare look back in fear it would completely defeat the authority you had just managed to gain. You felt proud of yourself but still slightly guilty.

Later that night, you dressed casual as you had been told... you received the information via note. It had made you laugh when you got it. It looked like a note you would get in high school, written on a notepad, even the edges torn and the paper itself crumpled up.

7:30 rolled around and you glared at the clock... The clock turned to 7:38 when you heard a knock at the door. As you opened it there was a bouquet of orange flowers.

" Sorry I'm late."

Tony popped his head around the side. You breath hitched.

" Sorry, the vase isn't the greatest, but I picked it up on my way here."

You were speechless.

" You know so we could avoid the whole delay of finding a vase..."

When you still couldn't respond Tony's face fell slightly.

" Too much? "

You shook your head out of your little spaced out moment and took the flowers.

" No, not at all, they're beautiful Tony. I just... they caught me off guard."

" Getting flowers caught you off guard? "

He gestured to the couple of vases you had left from James. Making you laugh.

" I have never got "I'm late flowers". Only "Date me" flowers."

Tony gave you a shocked face.

" Those are the best flowers to get. They are so rare! The date me flowers always stop when the one sending them gets their target."

You just sighed in response. God you hoped that wasn’t true...

" So you ready? "

" You still not gonna tell me where we going? "

" Not a chance. "

" Right."

You laughed and picked up your bag as you walked out with Tony.He was driving himself, no chauffeur, it was a beautiful car, a Acura NSX.

The car trip you sat in comfortable silence as the anticipation of the evening finally stated to make you excited, especially after all you could think about was getting your phone from Tony to see what time James had messaged for. Slowly he pulled into the last place you would expected.

" McDonald's drive through? Really? "

You couldn’t help but laugh, though it was a great choice you still were surprised.

" Oh yea! I am in need of a Quarter Pounder! "

After you both ordered and started driving away. You were under strict instructions not to eat until you arrived at you destination. Slowly you followed Tony into what looked like a really sketchy place. Down a creepy passage or two later you walked in on the most beautiful aquarium you had ever seen. It was completely empty, just the two of you.

Tony promptly sat on the floor and set out the food. It took you a minute to get you brain back and you sat down next to him. After having sat in a comfortable silence for most of the evening at this point you decided you had to ask.

" Ok... I gotta know... How much thought went into this? "

You chuckled as you thought of how this was the most amazing date you had probably ever been on.

" Right, well..."

He quickly swallowed a bite of food.

" When I came to give you your phone I saw behind you all those flowers, pinks, reds, whites, so when I knew I was gonna be a few minutes late because of the traffic jam and knew I needed something to make up for it, next to me, as luck would have it, was a flower shop. So picked up orange, its a bight colour that will stand out like a traffic light in all the other flowers, thus you will think of me and laugh at my odd choice every time you look at them, so even when I am not around you're still smiling while thinking of me. McDonald's was because I like fast food, I am not ashamed to admit it. Everyone likes it, some are just better with self control then others. But fast food is great, it tastes great. Also if you were one of those girls who insisted on paying for her own meal you wouldn't want to cry at the cost. Because lets be honest, not everyone is a billionaire and can’t always afford a plate of food with a fancy name that costs half the damn rent of an apartment. So that was McDonald's. And this place..."

Tony gestured to the tank in front of you both.

" This is the one place that is quite at night, is an amazing calming feeling but still so busy. It was aesthetically pleasing, where as the actual ocean you can't see shit at night... hell unless you're getting in it you won't see much during the day either. Star gazing is great... until you realize half of them are satellites that are watching your every moment. So an aquarium is what I chose. I don’t think dates should be some crazy bold thing because you need to get to know the person, not what they can or can’t afford. "

You sat there flabbergasted. Opting for a slow clap.

" That is amazingly thought out, I won't lie to you."

" Thank you."

“ However... this place closes at like 5:30... so explain to me-”

“ I brought it... so as owener I can go in anytime I want. ”

You paused fora moment.

“ When? “

“ At 7pm today.”

You burst out laughing at this.

“ So your speech about humble dating was a bit null in void don’t you think? “

“ Not really, I mean sure I brought this place for a first date, but who knows, it may be worth the investment if you have a good enough time tonight don’t you think? “

“ But it’s still using money for a good impression. “

“ I would have taken you here either way tonight, this was we don’t get a criminal record for trespassing, plus I didn’t tell you until you asked. Thus, still semi humble. “

After that the evening was filled with light bantering and jokes. Before you knew it, you had been sitting talking for over 5 hours and it was after midnight.

" Wanda is going to kill me."

" Well then I better get you home."

As you climbed into bed you found yourself smiling about this evening. Tony had surprised you with his consideration and attention to detail... and that kiss... You let out a sigh as the flashback played in your mind.

" Well this is you."

" Thank you for tonight Tony... it was great."

Tony gave you sly smirk.

" How great? "

You raised your brow in curiosity at what he was getting at. Mentally hoping he wasn't going to ruin in it with suggesting sex on the first date.

" Great enough to... say get a kiss? "

He wagged his brows at you making you laugh again. You smiled and leaned forward, stopping when your face was close enough to feel his breath on your face.

" I don't know Stark... you tell me."

He smirked at you and then grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into a soft kiss. You found yourself a bit disappointed about the execution. While soft was sweet, you really wanted a bit of rough right now.

He pulled away and you said your goodbyes. He had given you back your phone with his number in it. When you asked how he got passed the lock he just looked at you with a cocky grin.

" I do run Stark Enterprises remember? Night Y/L/N."

" Night Stark."

You sighed heavily at the thought. You liked Stark... you really did...

But even as you fell asleep you were nervous for a tomorrow night. The thought of it put your stomach in fluttering knots and made your heart feel like it might burst. It really annoyed you. You were mentally planning your outfit in your mind... smiling as you got an evil idea in your mind... Heaven help Barnes tomorrow night you thought as you went to sleep.

( Part 12 )

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[faceplant-ux]

Big Dog, Big City, Bad UX

Today I confirmed with the ophthalmologist (that’s an eye-disorder-doctor/surgeon) that my 7-year-old Bernese mutt, Astrid, would need surgery. A benign mass has been steadily growing on the rim of her eyelid for several months, and $proghub and I were referred to this specialist after the mass got one millimetre too bold. The most emotionally trying part of the process was not the steep cost, nor the fact that the mass was actually two masses, or what would evidently be a painful recovery period for Astrid in the cone-of-shame. It was getting to the drop-in clinic in the first place. 

Here were the parameters we were dealing with:

First, the ophthalmology clinic of choice received patients from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. 

Second, we didn’t have a car. The TTC (subway system in Toronto) allows pets to travel on leash or in carriers during off-peak hours, defined as “before 6:30 am; 10 am to 3:30 pm; after 7pm”. Obviously it’s easier to bend this rule with a smaller dog in a travel crate. Astrid weighed 60 pounds.

Third, according to Google Maps, it would take me 50 minutes-1 hour to get to the clinic from home by transit. Based on previous rides on that very route, I knew delays and increased traffic would be likely.

Finally, taking an Uber/Lyft instead was estimated to be a 15 minute journey at a budget-friendly price of $18. 

Conclusion: For maximum sleep and minimum transit time, take a Lyft at 7:30 am, arrive at the clinic before 8 am, and expect to wait about 2 hours at most. Cool. 

In the past I had no issues riding in a Lyft with Astrid, so long as I called ahead to let them know I’d have a large dog with me. A driver had the right to decline the ride in the interest of comfort or cleanliness, but so far none of them had.

Except today. I called the first driver right away as soon as we were matched and they apologized profusely for not wanting to take the dog. No hard feelings. But then the driver hid out nearby anyway, and didn’t cancel the ride despite my calling him back asking him to do so. It was impossible for me to cancel the ride now that he had “arrived” and was “waiting”. He let the wait timer finish before cancelling the ride and driving off. Annoying; that was three minutes I had to wait before calling another ride.

The second driver agreed to take Astrid when I confirmed over the phone. Great! He arrived, saw her, and said he had misunderstood, and he couldn’t take her. And then again, didn’t cancel the ride right away waiting for the five minute timer to run out — thankfully he figured it out eventually after rolling down the window to ask if I could cancel it (again, I couldn’t), and cancelled after two minutes.

While writing this post I discovered that I was charged a $5.00 no-show fee for allegedly standing up the first driver, which I had to get refunded from Lyft in the form of credit. 

UX questions abound:

Why was it difficult for both drivers to cancel the ride in the Lyft app? 

In the case of the first driver, did they intentionally let the timer run to 0:00 in order to get a no-show cancellation fee out of me? I would have likely missed the fact that I had been charged a no-show fee.

Why does Lyft’s chat bot automatically issue the refund as Lyft credit rather than a credit card refund? I feel I could have gotten in touch with customer support to get the latter, but $5 was a trivial enough amount to not do so. Are there risks with giving the customer the choice of how they would like to receive their refund?

It was now 8:03 a.m. I called one of the local cab companies. They had always accepted large dogs; I even double-checked over the phone with the dispatcher! The driver arrived after the promised 5-10 minute wait. I herded Astrid into the car and heard the tail end of a conversation over the comm, “—listen if you aren’t comfortable and don’t want to have a pet say something, we’re here to help!” I pretended not to hear. The driver asked if I had a cover for the dog since the seats were vinyl. Um, no? He fetched a jacket from his trunk. “Someone forgot it, just put it under your dog.” Fine. 

It was a silent ride, except for the radio going off again: “How long is your fare?” "I’ll get back to you later,” my driver discreetly responded.

We got to the clinic and it was now nearly quarter to nine. I wiped off the back seats as best as I could and tossed the now furry, dusty jacket into the trunk. Astrid and I entered a packed clinic, the many waiting room chairs full of dogs and their owners. It was something to behold; at least half of the poor canines were wearing cones, and half of those coned canines had eye stitches. What was Astrid in for? I wondered.

The reception cheerfully informed me of the paperwork I had to fill, and as I felt my frayed nerves calming she added, “It’ll be a 3 to 4 hour wait.”

“OK, that’s fine!”, I said in my typical singsong. Yet inside:

I killed time by walking Astrid for about 2 hours. The only place that had set out a dog water bowl was the local cannabis shop. They invited Astrid inside and cooed over her eagerly. That experience alone made the morning much less crappy for me.

The cab ride I had taken reminded me of a time when $proghub was ushering Astrid over to dog boarding, and his cab driver hit another car. He blamed our dog for distracting him, despite her already having long finished her investigative sniffing.

You can provide for a large dog’s every need, but societal discrimination remains:

Finding an apartment that will accept your dog. Ontario law states that “no-pets” clauses are void (huzzah! 🙌), but that doesn’t stop landlords from putting them into leases or denying your application once they find out you have one. $proghub and I are moving to Montréal, and in Québec there isn’t an equivalent law, which means we have to search extra hard for a place that will accept Astrid. Many ads will say 1) no pets, 2) cats only, no dogs, or 3) cats and small dogs under 1x pounds accepted, no large dogs. This sucks because Astrid is non-destructive, quiet, and trained to do her business outside — she’ll even actively seek out *grass* over concrete, which we didn’t teach her — and that is what most landlords want anyway. 9/10 likelihood the yapping dog in your condo is a small one. Bonus points if it’s a Pomeranian or a Shiba. Both are wonderful breeds, but improperly socialized, well...

No dogs in many public spaces. This is more understandable. But how many times have you been in a store and seen a small dog in a purse or under one’s arm? Meanwhile the large dog stays tied to a pole outside, susceptible to theft (especially at risk he/she is outgoing and easily bribed)! 

Lack of transportation options, without a car. A lot of transit systems don’t accept pets unless they’re in carriers, which is impossible with a large dog. Thankfully, GO Transit recently changed their rules after a successful pilot in summer of 2018 where they allowed leashed dogs on their buses and trains with restrictions (pets needed to stay on the lower level of the vehicles, among other common-sense measures). And as already mentioned, the TTC accepts leashed dogs during off-peak hours. My in-laws live in Fort Erie, so if we want to take Astrid to visit them, they drive the 2+ hours to Toronto to pick up the three of us. Except in summer, when GO Transit is running their limited Niagara train service, and we get to take our pooch along. 

Lack of off-leash dog parks. The nearest off-leash dog park to us, despite living in bustling North York, is about a 40-minute walk down Yonge Street, requiring passage underneath a bridge supporting what is allegedly the busiest highway in North America, the 401 (Business Insider). Once $proghub and I decided to bring Astrid to the magical Sherwood Park in Toronto, which took us about 50 minutes by transit on a weekend. Constituents in my neighbourhood petitioned for an off-leash area to be placed in one of the three(!!) parks in my area, all within a 1 km radius of each other, and one of my neighbours, a seasoned arbitrator, even put together some costing for fencing solutions. The proposal was turned down. To add insult to injury last mayoral election, the leading council candidate in my area, a young mother endorsed by the then current, retiring councillor, promised to install a dog park. That dream dissipated once the retiring councillor changed his mind on retiring and promptly beat her in re-election. So many dogs, big and small, in my neighbourhood, with nowhere to play.

What to do? The solution to all my big-dog woes is to be less eco-friendly, of course! 

Seriously though!  If I buy a house, which occupies more land per family than an apartment, I can avoid all pet-landlord issues by not having a landlord!  Since public transit and cabs/rideshares don’t perfectly accommodate my dog, I can save the frustration by having Astrid drool outside the window of my very own Bonewagon!

Sounds ridiculous, right? For the first 3 years of Astrid’s life, we lived in a large 2-bedroom apartment with plenty of space for her to roam. Around the back of the building, there was a large, forested area that she happily explored (and pooped in). The vet was a very short walk away, cabs or friends’ cars were available for short journeys and driving lessons, and the in-laws lived much closer so picking us up took about half the time.

However, circumstances changed, as they do. We moved back to Toronto for me to finish my degree. The cost of rent in Toronto was nearly twice that of Waterloo, and our living quarters changed from about 1000 square feet to 615. Because of the extensive, pet-friendly transit system and the cost of practising driving with the car share, I let my G2 license expire rather than practise intermittently and nervously towards my full G license, since we wouldn’t be buying a car even if I had attained it. Of course Astrid was coming with us — we weren’t going to be one of those families that abandoned their dog through moving. 

Our building is extremely pet friendly, housing Great Danes, Labs and Huskies, and even a sweet, massive Saint Bernard, along with many more “apartment-sized” breeds. Without a doubt, the community is richer for it. People know each other by their dogs’ names. Lobby bathroom accidents are extremely rare. When a resident puts their old dog to sleep, the loss is also felt by neighbours, because you’ve seen that dog for the past few years. You’ve watched them become all warty and grey and scabby and slow — they’d wag their butts when you’d pet them, in spite of their arthritic hips.

Owning a large dog is a pretty normal North American thing to do. I just wish that as dog owners, we didn’t have to jump through so many hoops in order to enjoy the friendship of these unconditionally loyal creatures. With all the shit we humans put ourselves through, we could use the extra love.

Dog tax:

[chasingadventuress]

Road tripping - with a bunch of strangers

As exciting as it may sound when it comes to traveling going on any kind of trip with many people is something I dread so much, only because I strongly believe that when it comes to traveling one should be able to take in every single moment of the journey the way they want to without being limited. This time around I wanted to see how different it would be thus the reason why I was open to going on this said trip.

But Before going on a road trip with a number of people keep this in mind:

Trust me it gets difficult if you are with too many people and this I believe is only because no two people are alike, we all have our preferences. We all have certain things that we enjoy and certain things that may annoy us. So ask yourself if you will be able to adapt and understand the next person and if not then you should propabably not go.

With every trip there’s always some sort of planning that goes into it, if there is something that you really want to do, before the trip bring it up, you should be able to. Remember that nobody is going to say no to it and if anybody does then rather save your money for a trip where people will be open to listening to what you’d like to do as well.

When contributing to activity ideas try and go for activities that you or the others have not done. This is because when you all find yourselves doing things that are not familiar it creates an opportunity to get to know people better on a personal level.

Ask yourself if you’re open to doing more than what is just required from you. Its definitely nobody’s responsibility to clean up after someone else or do things for them but if you find yourself in a position where you are able to better help out then do so.

And remember to be your true self. If you’re loud then be loud, if your laidback then be laidback but don't change yourself because of the fear of what others may think of you.

So in a nutshell this is basically how the road trip I went on was like

 It all started off with a Hey, Tina. “Me and a group of friends from my church are planning on going on a road trip for the weekend, do you want to come with”?

And being the person that I am, that’s always open to experiencing, living and learning, I was like why not, I’ve never done it before and there’s never going to be a perfect time, so YES!!!

A few days later I was added to the ‘NO FOMO’ WhatsApp group and this is where we all basically kick started off talking, which I believe allowed us to create that comfortable safe space among one another.

We tried our outmost best to not fully plan out the trip as we generally just wanted to take the experience as it came.

Day 1

Fast forward to the day we had to leave, it was a Friday, we decided on a meeting point and that is where most of us met for the first time, hugged it out and we posed for a picture. We only ended up leaving just past 7pm which was like an hour after the agreed time.

But nonetheless before we left, we did pray via telephone seeing that we were all in three separate cars. Great thing is we made use of a digital tool that we constantly have in our hands 24/7 for a purpose that I assuming we all consider, worth it.

And off we were to the coastal city of Namibia, Swakopmund. The five hour drive was literally one of the best drives I’ve been on. I was with a friend whom I’ve known for seven years but only travelled with for the first time on this trip as well as another friend who I had just befriended two weeks before the trip.

We randomly just sang along to songs and joked around till we arrived. The great thing about the drive and getting there was that everyone just had a positive outlook for the trip.

As I sit here and write this I vividly still recall everyone’s excitement when we arrived and found the 8 bedroom house that we had booked to stay at. And because we were so thrilled we offloaded, got comfortable and we started a fire because I mean what's a trip without a barbeque.

In between the barbeque and the little chill session we had, a few of us found ourselves drinking and during the entire session I did not feel judged by anyone nor did I judge anyone. There were also a few conversations that came up, where we basically just spoke about our careers and an array of other topics.

And because the day had already been so long for many of us, we all eventually caved in and decided to go sleep just past 4am but agreed that we would also wake up by 6am to go to the beach just to breath in fresh air.

Day 2

Getting up really didn’t go as planned as some of us slept in. How eventually everyone did wake up , some went to the beach, some prepared breakfast and others got ready for the day.

We pretty much all left the house that morning by 11am as we were set to go to the Dead Sea.

Getting to the Dead Sea was another roller-coaster of a story. It started of all so great, we made several stops along the way , but then somewhat many of us seemed annoyed because as we kept driving, the further we went the further the Dead Sea seemed. However we eventually did find it.

So what and where is the Dead Sea?

Located north of Swakopmund, approximately a few kilometres before Mile 72, north of Fishermen’s Inn, after the Cape Cross sign.

The Deas Sea is an old worked out mine that is filled with underground water and due to the high presence of salt and minerals in it, it causes those who choose to swim in it to freely float. So basically no matter how hard you try to sink / push yourself down it will always push you right back up.

Only a couple of us swam because the rest including myself as I had mentioned earlier were annoyed from the long drive and there was not much will to get in. To be honest the Dead Sea is just one of those places that I believe one should tick of their bucket list but then probably won’t consider going back to, I for one know I wouldn’t.

Did I enjoy being there that much NO and this is because this is also where a few people from the group rubbed me off the wrong way. And I actually found myself wanting to go home because I felt like it was going to be very difficult to deal with the group going forward as I was upset.

The drive back from the Dead Sea too me was so much better as I was somewhat relieved that the route back seemed shorter and it meant I would get home sooner and just nap my anger away. And fast forward we finally got back to the apartment and I managed to sleep it off and actually felt better when I woke up. We all then had dinner, played a few games and called it a night

Day 3

This was basically our last day and getting up that day seemed easier as we had all gotten enough sleep and because we were set to drive back to Windhoek we still had some activities to do so we had to be up pretty early.

We booked to go quad biking, but before that one of the guys from the group brought it to the forefront that we had been doing so much but did not pray about it so we regrouped, held hands and prayed and then went quad biking. Which was a very nice and fun experience.

If you recall at the start of this I had mentioned that one should always bring up what they would like to do and there were a few things a quarter of us wanted to do and the rest didn't. Thus we all agreed that the best option would be splitting up for a few hours ad then linking up later again.

And so we did. Basically a few of us decided to go looking for the Salt Pans. Located just southwest of the Walvisbay lagoon is a salt-pan complex, which currently supplies over 90% of South Africa's salt. It's one of the three wetlands around Walvis Bay along with the lagoon and Bird Island, which together form Southern Africa's single most important coastal wetland for migratory birds.

The amazing thing about the salt pans is that the water there is pink. I wish I had a tour guide tell me why but I am guessing it has something to do with the salt that’s there hence the name.

Later that day we actually ended up driving back to Windhoek pretty late because we were obviously taken over by what seemed like a great idea at the time to park near the beach, eat and then hit the road but instead ended up soaked because who goes to the beach and does not get into the water.

So would I do this again?

In all honestly yes I would. I took away a few things and realised that getting along with everyone on the first go doesn’t happen overnight.

Would I have wanted to get to know some of the people better, yes I would have but I am hoping that it will someday happen on all the other trips we plan on taking because building genuine friendships I believe takes time.

Another thing that was also great to take note of is that teamwork all the way is important as well, everyone played their part especially when it came to cleaning up, preparing food, and everyone helped out despite how tired we all were at the end of the trip.

One thing I also learned was that people were open to praying out loud. It’s honestly not something that I know how to do yet other than when I am by myself but this just showed me that there is nothing to be afraid of and that there is no perfect way to pray or right words to say but just genuinely speaking from your heart.

My heading initially started off with a ‘Bunch of Strangers’ which I must say they aren’t anymore and that’s the beauty of life.

[aljan-r]

Day 4 - Punting, and Campus Visit at Cambridge

The morning was so silent, at least in my room. No phone alarm, no loud activities - just my roommate and I. He woke me up, said that I had just 30 minutes before the gathering outside, and exited the room. I looked at my phone, and it said 7:30. Turned out that my friend got the phone call and immediately turned it off, so maybe that's why I didn't hear it. I got to the bathroom quickly to take some shower, washed my face, then clothed myself as I were getting ready for the day. After I called myself ready, I went for some breakfast, took some boiled eggs, and corn flakes. As I went upstairs and packed things up for the day's adventure, I got a message from Ms. Arma (that's our english teacher who went to London with us now) to go downstairs for a brief. As I reached downstairs, I found out that she's gathering us downstairs instead for some evaluation. She mentioned about a few problems there: - Those of us haven't finished our tumblr post - Someone lost his ticket to his Harry Potter Studio Tour yesterday (which was Adit, my roommate) As she discussed the latter, she started getting serious about it, which made my friend there quite uncomfortable about his own mistake that he did yesterday. As for me though, I felt like this is just normal, she can just got into this state at any times, but that's just my opinion anyways. As he started feeling bad about himself, suddenly Dara (Adit's friend, Ms. Arma's favourite student so far, looked like it) brought a birthday cake and cheered him, because after all it's a surprise birthday for him. So everyone started singing for him, and let him blew the candle. We took a photo together, then finally prepared for the long haul to Cambridge. As we all gathered outside, we noticed that there's actually a bus already waiting for us. So one by one we got onto the bus. Because we're just ±26 people and the bus is very long, some of us actually got two seats. Some who did, like me, actually put their feet up and just laid to the window, where we then just pluck our earphones and sleep whilst listening to music. Off the bus went, and not even reached London outskirts everyone started sleeping. I just laid my head onto the side window, where I listened to soft songs while the kid behind me (Garry) pretty much did the same too. We finally arrived two hours later, where just after we exited the toll road we began experiencing traffic jams. Fortunately the bus stop was very near, so we disembarked immediately. Then, we went to rent a boat for some punting, which is quite near, but not before we went to the toilet. Garry, Rayyan, and I also got ourselves some hot chocolate for some warming. Anyways, we finally talked to the boatowner, where she lent us four boats to use with. We also got divided into five teams, which I share boat alongside Bunga, Bayu, Arafat and Nisa. I didn't have time to finish all my food, so I quickly drank all of my hot chocolate, spared the burger, and got control of the boat. At first, I struggled a great deal. So I backed down and asked Bunga instead to commandeer the boat for us. With her in control, we finally had momentum, where we speed off, even though we're still slow compared with those seasoned punter from Cambridge itself though. Wanted to have a second try, I got my hands on the stick (remember it's punting not kayak) and tried to balance the boat whilst moving slowly. With significant effort, finally I know how to commandeer the boat, so maybe that's a plus point for me right there. Even though, I just sailed across the canal, where we dumbfoundedly realized that we're actually too far from the rest, even reached the Bridge of Sighs (which I'll explain later) itself. Realized that, we're turning back after we cross through the Bridge of Sighs itself, and I struggled back onto the rental stall. In the way, weary, tired, and my hand froze, I actually offered some of the the kids like Bayu and Arafat the handle, but unforunately they're struggling very much on the controls. Not just that, but there were people actually on our crash course, so I immediately took control and managed to divert the course which we didn't collide with them. Eventually, and unfortunately, I took control back to the rental, where then I found my hand very stiff and freezing already, since the wind in Cambridge felt like it may even turn rain into snow immediately. After we all got off the punt, we hop on back to the bus where we're headed to a french restaurant near Cambridge University. After we had some great food, then we walked to the University. Firstly, we entered Saint John's College, where we're greeted by one of the colleague there, who turned out to be our tour guide for the journey. At first, he introduced us to the college itself, and told us the college history, and such. He then brought us in front of the library, which actually stored manuscripts dated back to the middle age itself. After that, he showed us the second grader's living quarter, first grader's living quarter, the Bridge of Sighs itself, and another court. Aaand, this is where we parted ways with him. We took a group photo, then we actually hunted for photos around the college, especially the Bridge of Sighs and the vast backyard itself. After we had tour at St. John's, then we headed to King's College, where at this moment the only room opened to tourists was the chapel itself. The chapel itself can be dated back in the 1512 itself, just after the vast War of the Roses itself ended, not to mention that the building also referenced both houses. Anyways, we entered the chapel where stained glass told us stories of Jesus itself, and that there's a room to pay tribute for the college staff (be it fellows, staff, anything that's part of the college itself) that lost their lives on wars, be it World War 1, or the second counterpart itself. After we got out of the chapel, we had some photos taken for a while, before actually continued on our journey to the next college, which was Trinity. Sadly, this college was closed to visitors, so what we did instead is we took pictures in front of the college gate. After that, we had some time off where we bought ourselves some gift from the shop nearby, and I personally bought some novels to read on the way home. We had dinner at an Italian restaurant. When we got out, it was 7PM in Cambridge, but damn the sun was still strong in that one. Anyways, we continued on our journey back home.

[sunkissis]

Bonjour,

My sweet friend Karilyn who is a travel blogger at No Back Home, asked me to share my top twenty things to do in Paris with kids. Firstly, I’d like to dissuade the notion that traveling with kids can be a bummer. Non! If you are planning for a horrible time, you will end up miserable but prep yourself in advance for those unexpected meltdowns and keep these tips up your sleeve and you’ll be asking yourself why didn’t we travel with our kids sooner?

We got Liv’s first passport when she was three, now she is nine, she has traveled to twelve countries, far more than Antz and I travelled by her age! So, let me help you make your traveling with kids blues fade away by following my guide to Paris.

I don’t travel anywhere without these must-haves:

Multi-function backpack – I cannot walk around all day with a purse. It never works for me, I carry too much stuff and I love to be hands-free so I carry this Goodordering backpack/tote. This has been my go-to travel bag for two years now. It has padded straps so it doesn’t hurt my shoulders and I love the extra pockets in the front to hold tickets and extra camera batteries. I use the side pockets for my water bottle and umbrella which you will read more about below. Invest in a reliable travel bag! I’ve seen too many Mom’s struggling with bulky diaper bags and flimsy purses.

Anti-bacterial Wipes – Always handy with kids, I’m not a germaphobe but public spaces can be gross, so it’s always wise to have these on you for wiping ice cream filled faces.

A scarf – I have used a scarf as a picnic blanket in the park, to wrap my hair up on a windy day and covered myself up when visiting a church out of respect. I have this lightweight one from J.Crew.

Water bottle – There are lovely public water fountains all over Paris. Having a water bottle is essential to surviving a long day in Paris with kids.

Cell phone chargers – I have one for each of us because we play Pokemon Go, the Flash Invaders app and taking photos quickly drains our battery power. This one works great. Bonus: If you are an Invader fan, check out my Instagram stories.

Kids Headphones – If you are planning a long road trip, these are a necessity! Now that Liv is older, she prefers to listen to her own music and we can crank our old people tunes without any side-eyes from her. Plus I rather use my own headphones during guided tours than use the cheap ones they give you. Liv uses these.

Snacks! – This one is a must-have for kids. Liv gets cranky when she’s hungry and Parisian restaurants close from 3pm – 7pm so I always have apples, nuts or granola in my backpack.

Small, travel size umbrella – I strongly recommend bringing an umbrella, even during the summer, the sky has been known to suddenly start pouring and it’s so frequent you will be happier you had it than not.

Backpack for your little one – I always let Liv pack a bag with her camera, a few books for long rides, her special lip gloss, a few small toys and her phone and charger. It makes her feel like she’s a big kid having her own things to bring when we travel. She has a Fjallraven Kanken backpack which was expensive but she’s had it for going on five years now.

I bought Liv her own instant camera and it has been a game changer for our trips. She loves playing photographer and it helps keep her busy when we are at museums or art galleries when she would normally run wild.

A retractable selfie stick – This one may be controversial. I really hate seeing these sticks all over touristy landmarks however, too many times I have ended up with no family photos or blurry, horrible photos taken by a stranger so I have given in to the selfie stick peer-pressure. This one is strongly recommended by my friend Kelly, who used it during her three month sabbatical while traveling solo. It has a built-in tripod and a remote. Just be aware most popular museums do no allow tripods or selfie-sticks.

Please keep in mind, you must say “Bonjour” when entering a business, to the bus driver or before speaking to any Parisian, not speaking first is considered rude. It’s always a good habit to teach your little ones how to say Hello, Goodbye and Thank you in the language of the country you are traveling to.

Okay, now that you are all prepped and ready to go, here’s the first stop.

Metro station (any Metro station)

You may think walking is the best way to get around Paris but the city is huge and little feet get tired fast. If you pop into any Metro station you can buy a book of 10 tickets (called a carnet) which can be used on the trains and buses. I prefer taking a bus around the city so you can sitesee and enjoy a relaxing ride to your destination. The French public transportation is very easy to navigate and convenient. They even have the arrival times posted on most bus stops. Believe me, you will be doing plenty of walking later.

Jardin des Tuileries Place de la Concorde, 75001 Paris

This is the Parisian equivalent to Central Park, located near the Louvre museum. Here you will find something for all ages. Playgrounds and sculptures are scattered throughout the impeccably manicured tree lined paths. During the summer and winter months there is a fun fair with games and carnival rides. You will find a carousel, snack stands, a puppet theater and my daughter’s favorite, the trampolines! They cost a few euros for 15 minutes of jumping so make sure you have cash on you.

The museum de l’Orangerie is located in the south end of the garden which houses the impressive Claude Monet Water Lilies.

Jardin du Luxembourg 6eme arrondissement Closes at 4:30 pm during the winter months

This is another popular park, it’s massive and lovely. There’s so much to see here you can easily spend a whole afternoon there! The most fun thing for kids is renting a sailboat and spending 30 minutes playing captain of the sea. Don’t worry, I am referring to a small toy boat and you get a stick to launch it into a lake. Each boat has a different country flag so be sure to choose one that you can tell you little one about.

Liv chose Mexico which is where her Grandmother Maria was born. There are pony rides, ice cream vendors and stunning gardens, please be aware, you cannot walk on the grass here and you will get whistled at by security if you do!

Try the snails at Cafe Charlot 38 Rue de Bretagne, 75003 Paris 7 am – 2 am

I know, your kids are probably like mine and will only eat buttered pasta or chicken fingers but I dare you to test their taste buds by ordering escargot at this trendy cafe in the Marais. Our kid refused to try them until we moved here, then she discovered all her French friends ate them, now she loves them. It is open all day, everyday (which is rare) and the waiters are very friendly towards Americans. I tend to opt for an early dinner so we are dining before the restaurant gets too busy and there isn’t much room for drama. Plus I like to get the best table for photos, of course. Be sure to grab a seat inside if you don’t want to be near the smokers and order a Saint Germain cocktail like the cool Parisians do.

Cité des sciences et de l’industrie/City of Science & Industry 30 Avenue Corentin Cariou, 75019 Paris

If your kid is a science geek like mine, this place is for them. There is a science museum, exploratorium, IMAX movie theater and VR experience. The entire area is perfect for kids with a park, boat rides on the canals and a small carnival. Try to go during the week so it’s less crowded.

See the Eiffel Tower sparkle at night! Champ de Mars, 5 Avenue Anatole France, 75007 Paris

It is a no-brainer if you come to Paris you must see the incredible Tour Eiffel! Yet, I don’t want you to miss the nightly sparkle of the tower. There are always large crowds at the tower and the adjacent Trocadero but much less in the evening. Please note, you can no longer go underneath the tower without going through a long security check line so plan to be there ahead of time. The tower sparkles from sunset every hour until 1 am, it’s magical.

Princess Crepe 3 Rue des Ecouffes, 75004 Paris

What is better than a Parisian crepe? A Harajuku/Japanese crepe! This tiny place is nestled in the Marais and often has a line of people outside. Try the cheesecake and strawberries crepe, you’ll love it. Definitely Olivia approved.

Disneyland Paris Boulevard de Parc, 77700 Coupvray

Liv insisted I add the happiest place on Earth to this list. I will say, I adore Disneyland and it is much less crowded than the one in California. We take the RER A train from Chatelet/Les Halles station which takes about an hour to arrive at the Disneyland station. They have most of the same rides as the US Disneyland but with a European flair. Jack Sparrow charmingly speaks French on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. There is a Queen of Hearts labyrinth maze. I have heard they even have a pineapple whip (similar to Dole Whip) but it’s only available during the summer. The lines are much shorter and there is a seperate Walt Disney Studios park that is very cool.

Montmartre Village/the majestic Sacre-Coeur Basilica 1 Parvis du Sacré-Cœur, 75018 Paris

Montmartre is arguably the most well-known quarter in Paris. Kids will enjoy taking the funicular up the hill. If you look to the right of the church, you will see a small fence at the bottom of the stairs, you can take this fun photo (slightly tilted) so it looks like the houses are sinking.

Then walk around the street to your left past the funicular, at the corner you will catch a glance of the Eiffel Tower. Keeping walking up the hill and you will arrive in Montmartre village. There you can buy tickets for a ride on the Petit Train de Montmartre which will take you on a tour of the area. I highly recommend it.

Skip the souvenir shops in the village and walk towards square Jehan Rictus to check out the Mur des Je’taime (Wall of I love you).

Afterwards, you can have an unusual dinner experience at…

Le Refuge des Fondus 17 Rue des Trois Frères, 75018 Paris Opens at 7pm (no reservations)

Due to a heavy wine glass tax, this tiny restaurant now serves all drinks in baby bottles. There are two items on the menu; fondue and meat all served with skewers. This place is a total tourist trap that no locals would ever be seen in, but it is such a blast! The table seating is family style so people have to climb over the tables to be seated along the benches. The staff are notoriously mean and rude but I was somehow able to win ours over. He gifted us with a few baby bottles to take as souvenirs.

Angelina 226 Rue de Rivoli, 75001 Paris 10 am – 6 pm

This place is a major tourist attraction but it is worth the wait. Located across the street from Jardin des Tuileries, it is a bakery that specializes in its signature, decadent, hot chocolate. I was so surprised to find out they also have white hot chocolate which is equally good, and I want some now!

The Natural History Museum 57 Rue Cuvier, 75005 Paris

Every town has one and Paris is no exception. There is a fascinating exhibit of the kingdom of animals on the second floor of this vast museum. In another building is Liv’s favorite, gems and minerals. It reminds me of the Natural History museum in Los Angeles and is definitely worth spending the day. It is located in the garden of plants which is especially pretty during the spring. Make sure to stop at the Dodo Manège carousel which has animals that are sadly all now endangered or extinct. There is also a zoo within the jardin des plantes but I recommend the next zoo.

Parc Zoologique de Paris Avenue Daumesnil, 75012 Paris

This zoo is located in the 12eme arrondissement on the outskirts of Paris in the enormous bois des Vincennes. I had low expectations for Parc Zoologique because in my opinion, there is no better zoo than the San Diego zoo, so I was delighted to see animals I have never seen in person before. LIKE A SLOTH! I could have stayed there all day watching this sweet guy move in slow motion. We went on a very hot day so we had to keep moving. Antz took a photo of a spider bigger than my hand but I won’t subject you to that nightmare. Kids will definitely love the animal feedings so be sure to check the schedule.

Choose your own Adventure Sports Saber League 46 Rue du Faubourg Saint-Martin, 75010 Paris

This one is perfect for days you are feeling burnt out on museums and crowds. We like to ask Liv if she could pick one thing to do, what would it be? She was asking about fencing for awhile but the classes were the same day and time as her ballet so I found a similar alternative, Star Wars LightSaber fencing. There is a beginners class on Saturdays and they provide you with a lightsaber if you didn’t pack yours. Antz and Liv did it for two hours and loved it. It’s nice to ask your kids what they want to do because you may find something you wouldn’t have thought to do.

Sip mulled cider at the Christmas Market Tuileries Christmas Market Marche de Noel La Defense (the biggest one in Paris)

There are several markets throughout Paris that are open during the holidays. I have only been to two, La Defense and Jardin des Tuileries, but there are several within the city. There are booths like a farmers market selling Christmas homemade goods, gifts and food. There are raclette booths which are huge wheels of gooey cheese that are melted and dripped onto bread. The market at the Tuileries has rides and an ice skating rink. It’s a must do if you are in Paris during the holidays. Mamma’s be sure to try the hot wine “vin chaud“, it’s mind-blowingly good.

Eat dessert American style in Paris Rue d’Aboukir, 75002 Paris

We love our neighborhood which has a delightful American expat community. We have gotten to know many of the kind business owners at Boneshaker Donuts, Jean Hwang Currant cookies and Stoney Clove Bakery. Please make sure to let them know that Elizabeth sent you there! You will find every type of cuisine on a stroll down the famous rue Montorgueil. We love picking up a kilo (a French pound) of cherries to snack on during the summer.

Musée des Arts et Métiers 60 Rue Réaumur, 75003 Paris

Super cool, off the beaten path, museum of technology and mechanics. Your kids will love the room full of antique trains, cars and machinery. This museum is never crowded and will captivate your child’s imagination. We have been twice and still haven’t seen everything it has to offer.

Rougier et Plé (awesome art supply store) 15 Boulevard des Filles du Calvaire, 75003 Paris (there are several other locations)

After all those visits to the art museums  your young artists must be feeling inspired, so I recommend stopping by this mega store to pick up a few art supplies. A small paint palette, a canvas and a brush is all you will need. Then head over to Île Saint-Louis (located on an island behind Notre Dame Cathedral) and spend an afternoon painting the dreamy Paris landscape along the Seine.

Berthillon Glacier Rue Jean du Bellay, 75004 Paris

Then stop by Berthillon for the best ice cream in town. Any of the brasseries on the corner of rue Jean du Bellay sells it. There is a fancy restaurant that sells it around the corner too.

Go on a bike ride along Canal Saint Martin (for older kiddos)

Download the Uber app – If you click the bicycle icon it will show you on a map where the Jump by Uber bikes are located. You can’t miss them with their cool, bright red paint. Once you scan them with your phone, you are all set to hit the bike lanes that run along the trendy Canal Saint Martin. The bikes are electric so it’s a smooth and easy cruise while soaking in the beauty of the canals. There’s also a two hour boat cruise that will take you through the canals many locks.

Get Lost! – The best part of visiting Paris is wandering the cobblestone streets, you will always find something fun to do. There are so many photo booths (they make great souvenirs) and carousels scattered around the city. A few of my favorite kids stores to check out.

Bonton Smallable Petit Pan Tartine et Chocolat Village JouéClub Shakespeare and Company (English bookstore)

Bonus – Pre-Negotiate a deal with your kids for buying souvenirs I have to add this because I have been there and know what a downer it is when your kid sees a gift shop and the begging commences. I worked out two options for Liv which has saved me from many tantrums. She collects souvenir coins which are mostly found in churches and museums all over Europe. So far she has over 30 coins! They cost €2, and she knows she can have one so she doesn’t ask for everything in the shop. The second option is when she finds something she cannot resist (which is everytime) she can pay for it with her own money. This has been a great solution because she earns money by doing chores at home. She has learned to save and not do much impulse shopping.

A few years before we moved abroad I bought Liv a toy set of world landmarks from Michaels. I also bought these two books, Maps and This is the World, which are informative and beautifully illustrated, to research our trips. We now collect landmarks from most of the cities we have visited. They all are under 2 inches tall so they fit in her Maptote travel bag.

Always have fun!

Lizzie

Elizabeth is a stay-at-home-Mom/blogger/tour guide offering custom walking tours of Paris at Mon Ami Paree. She is a francophile who is (slowly) learning French, adores traveling and documenting her colorful family’s adventures on her blog, Violently Happy. 

  20 Rad Things to do/explore/eat in Paris (with kids!) Bonjour, My sweet friend Karilyn who is a travel blogger at No Back Home, asked me to share my top twenty things to do in Paris with kids.

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Ideas For Consideration Of Simple Systems Of Stevia Sweetened Iso Xp

A Background Analysis Of Deciding Upon Details For Grass Fed Whey Protein Canada

The first is Swerve®, a low-calorie sweetener made from erythritol (a sugar alcohol) and oligosaccharides, sweet fibers from fruits and vegetables. Unlike some artificial sweeteners, Swerve doesn’t spike blood sugar. The final ingredient is ProHydrolase®, a digestive enzyme blend that I’ll discuss in the next section. BioTrust Low Carb Benefits and Effectiveness With that many carbohydrates it’s far from the lowest carb protein powder I’ve seen (there are plenty with zero carbs), but the 4 grams of fiber it could make it more satiating than some of the extremely low carb powders out there. I think that’s also why more than a quarter of the protein content is casein. The brand seems to be targeting people trying to lose weight, and the fiber and the slow-digesting casein should help with satiety better than, say, a no-carb no-fat whey isolate. It’s also made from dairy sourced from free range cows that aren’t treated with antibiotics or hormones like rBGH, or rBST. Then there’s the digestive enzymes. ProHydrolase doesn’t say exactly what’s in their blend, which is annoying, but there are a lot of studies on their site that show it’s more effective than competitors at reducing digestive discomfort and reducing the amount of amino acids that get excreted out of the body, i.e. it helps you absorb more protein. They don’t provide the studies on their site, but they are available at request.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit https://barbend.com/biotrust-low-carb-protein-review/

Building Mass In The Gym, Easy Methods Of Gaining.

Whether you've been working out for years or you are a novice, learning about fitness is to your benefit. Knowing how your body works and how to best improve your level of fitness can make a world of difference. If you stick to the information you just learned, you will get good results. Don't have a large chunk of time to devote to exercising? Make two smaller workouts by splitting your ordinary exercise routine. Do not increase the time you workout, but try to break it into a half. Rather than getting an hour's worth of running in at once, try half before work and half later in the day. If you would rather not visit your fitness center twice in a single day, you could do one workout at the gym and then do another workout outdoors. During your workout, ensure that you exhale after every weight rep. You can help the blood and oxygen flow throughout your body more efficiently by doing this. There are lots of different types of exercise routines and classes that keep you feeling energized and motivated. Switching things up will allow you a chance to discover classes you love and give you reason to keep heading back to the gym. Try a dancing class or spinning. Consider Jazzercise or boot camp. If you don't like a class, you don't have to go back, and you will have burned some calories. Treadmills and other forms of indoor exercise equipment are great, but they don't compare to exercising in the great outdoors. Although treadmills are especially convenient during the winter months, running outside on pavement is best. Always work out in comfortable clothes. If you attend a gym, you might feel a bit of pressure to wear the trendy clothing, but you're better off without it. Wear loose, comfortable clothes that allow you to move around freely. Wearing the correct clothing helps you put your emphasis on working out, not on your clothes. Most people need motivation to stay on their diet program, so they have to see and feel the results in order to keep going. Instead of stepping on the scales, keep some tight-fitting clothes around. Try on these clothes weekly as you are dieting, and you can really experience the transformation of your life. Want to make chin-ups easier? Changing the way you think about them can help. Visualize chin-ups as you drawing your elbows down towards your body, rather than pulling your whole body up. Changing your thinking in this way will change how you perceive chin-ups and increase the maximum amount you can do. Boost up the density of all your workouts to help you lose weight faster. If you exercise more in a shorter amount of time, you can see more weight loss. Either take shorter breaks between sets or just do "super sets" with no break between, resulting in maximum exercise density. Your weight loss will be increased by this method. When you are attempting to reach your fitness goals, it can be very helpful to give your trainer his or her payment prior to the start of the workout. That way, you are going to be likely to go to all your sessions, much more so than if you wait to pay after every workout. This is largely because the sessions are already paid for and not a recurring expense or bill hanging over your head. You are going to want to get what you paid for. It doesn't matter what kind of person you are; you can experience significant changes in your body by utilizing the tips you have just read. Learning as much as possible about fitness regimens can give you the best workout achievable. Apply everything that you learned today so that you can have a great looking body.

An Insightful Analysis On Fundamental Elements Of Canada

Canada scores eight goals in rout of Belarus at U18 Worlds Tonight at 7PM ET / 4PM PT on TSN2 NBA Playoffs: Round 1 - Game 4: Rockets vs Timberwolves Tonight at 8PM ET / 5PM PT on TSN1, TSN3, TSN4 and TSN5 NBA Playoffs: Round 1 - Game 4: Thunder vs Jazz Tonight at 10:30PM ET / 7:30PM PT on TSN1 and TSN3 Tue 5AM ET / 2AM PT on TSN2 Canada scores eight goals in rout of Belarus at U18 Worlds MAGNITOGORSK, Russia — Serron Noel had two goals and an assist as Canada cruised past Belarus 8-3 Friday at the world under-18 hockey championship. Jack McBain also had a three-point game with a goal and two assists for Canada, which has opened the tournament with two regulation wins. Canada defeated defending champion United States 6-4 on Thursday. Alexis Lafreniere had a goal and an assist while Raphael Lavoie, Jared McIssac, Liam Foudy and Ty Dellandrea also scored as Canada spread out the offence. "We want to be a four-line hockey club, we want everybody to contribute and everybody to feel (they're of) value to our group," head coach Don Hay said. "I think we're doing that. "Everybody has a real good spirit within our group, and we're growing — and I like that the best." Canada’s head coach Don Hay on the distribution of goals and offence across the team in game two, and what the positives are that he’s seeing in Team Canada to-date Ilya Usov, Alexei Protas and Viktor Masilevich had the goals for Belarus, which was playing its first game of the tournament. Colten Ellis stopped 24 shots for Canada. Belarus goaltender Nikita Tolopilo was pulled after Canada scored on its first three shots. Danil Veremeichik stopped 20 of 25 shots in relief. Canada next plays Sunday against Switzerland.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit https://www.tsn.ca/canada-scores-eight-goals-in-rout-of-belarus-at-u18-worlds-1.1063196

Things You Need To Know About Vitamins And Minerals

There is no better way to keep your body healthy than to understand what it needs. Even though a lot of people do their best to get and stay healthy, it is easy to miss some things. Do you know how to broaden your understanding of vitamins and minerals? The following article will give you the understanding you need. When it comes to having strong bones, calcium is key. In order for the body to be able to readily absorb calcium, your body must have ample levels of vitamin D. You can get vitamin D many ways, including sunlight, food, and supplements. Each of these things is a good way to make sure your body will absorb calcium. Fat containing supplements should be consumed with food, so it is important you take them during the time you eat. Vitamins E, K and A are examples of supplements that should only be taken with food because they are easier to absorb at that time. They work especially well when ingested with fatty foods like fish. Why does your body hurt so much? Instead of going to a doctor or a chiropractor to help with aches that are minor you should try vitamins and minerals out. Fish oils and vitamin E can help your muscles soften when they're bound up. If you want to have strong and abundant red blood cells, you must get enough iron. This helps to transport oxygen through the body. Women require more iron than men. This is why a woman should choose a multivitamin for women. If you are feeling exhausted or having trouble breathing, you may not be getting enough iron. If you want to stay healthy, add the right nutrients to your diet. Getting the right amount of nutrients will help you feel good and look good, while keeping you healthy. Most vegetables and fruits are packed with healthy nutrients that your body needs, but it is important to eat fresh rather than canned produce. You may also want to add a multivitamin to your diet. Living in a poor economy sometimes means we deprive our body of good nutrition by eating as cheap as possible at the local fast food restaurant. Use some proper vitamins to make sure that you are keeping your immune system strong and allowing your body's metabolism to stay at its peak. Remember Whey Protein that some vitamins and minerals, such as calcium carbonate, must be taken with food. Calcium citrate is able to be taken when your stomach is empty, but not calcium carbonate. If you do, it is unable to get absorbed. As people age, they tend not to absorb B12 as well. Some people make consume a lot of it but their body just can't absorb it well. The secret here is to get your levels tested annually and consider supplementation through shots if need be. Did you know that diets low in magnesium, omega-3 fatty acids and vitamin D can lead to depression and depressive thoughts? Omega-3 fatty acids are among the most popular of all the supplements, and its popularity is well deserved. It supports the healthy of the brain and other things. You can help maintain a relaxed body with a magnesium supplement. Do not cook your vegetables. When you cook your food, you can cut back on the amount of vitamins you consume. If you are preparing vegetables, it is important that you steam them the right way to get a good taste without losing out on essential vitamins. Nutrients are also preserved in flash-frozen vegetables, but only if you do not cook them for too long. The most important part of your life is your body, so knowing what it requires is crucial. You need to know how supplements will affect your health. Learn more with this article. This is how you will keep your body in its best condition.