#10x19

[inacatastrophicmind]

Boops for you. Boops for me. Boops for everyone (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *⋆⭒˚｡⋆

[babyjapril]

♡April & Jackson laughing together♡

[amaranthhiding]

Samwena in 10x19 The Werther Project

This scene from 10x19 The Werther Project is a classic for obvious reasons, but it has taken me until today to think more deeply about this.

Sam doesn‘t go, “Can you do the spell for me?” or “What’s the Cabirian Invocation?” No, all he says about the topic is, “Great, thanks.” This absolute nerd either already knows the Cabirian Invocation or is at least entirely confident that he knows exactly where to look it up and that he will be able to cast it on his own.

That is the moment when Rowena is suddenly far more affected by this call than before.

Obviously, she thinks it’s hot as hell that Sam can do magic, too, but there’s more to this. She has been expelled from the Coven. Earlier in this season, in 10x07 Girls, Girls, Girls, Rowena was shown trying to recruit those girls as students, with... very limited success.

It’s painfully obvious this is so not going to work, neither for the girls, nor for Rowena.

But hilariously, this scene is not the first time Latin is mentioned in this same episode. No, the first time was this little gem here:

It was even made clear that while the translation for the spell’s name was on the website, Sam looked up thoughtfully and just casually translated it on his own in his head.

I must have been blind never to notice the purposeful contrast between Sam and the girls before, but I seriously never paid attention to this detail until today. And that even though I’m a linguist. Pff.

(And yes, I do believe this contrast is completely intentional. Both 10x07 Girls, Girls, Girls and 10x19 The Werther Project are Berens episodes, and he does give loving attention to detail and parallels.)

Even though she probably wouldn’t admit it, Rowena craves the companionship of joint spellcasting. She’s been lonely ever since she has been expelled from the Grand Coven. She craves a kindred spirit she can nerd out with.

Enter the dude who calls her just to chat about a spell, and who can match her own intelligence and thirst for knowledge.

Sam’s initial reaction to this proposal kind of gets me, lol.

He’s a very intuitive guy with finely tuned senses. He absolutely heard how sultry her voice had become.

He declines (much to his own disadvantage, as the episode later shows. Things would have gone so much better for Sam had he taken Rowena’s offer!)

But, er... what is his face doing? This weird little smile that flares up for just a second, half tormented and half... something else, before he goes back to a far more neutral expression again.

Know what this reminds me of? This moment from 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer where Ruby is trying to seduce Sam while he’s desperately trying (and failing) to resist.

And here’s a casual reminder that Ruby, too, was a witch.

Even these profile shots are mirrored (and I can’t for the life of me tell if this mirror was done on purpose, or if it was a coincidence. If this was done intentionally... man.)

The positions of Sam with Ruby and Sam with Rowena are inverted, though, and I love that considering the fact that Sam’s involvement with Ruby and the demon blood and freeing Lucifer are some of his biggest regrets, and even his deepest hurt because it’s what makes him feel tainted and unworthy.

(That heavy swallow Sam does as Rowena says “dark magic” never fails to get me.)

So of course he’s trying absolutely everything and anything to keep himself from going dark side ever again. Little does he know at the time that this connection doesn’t end with him going dark side. It ends with Rowena joining the good guys! She’s his big success. She’s the deeply needed validation for his willingness to see the world in more than black and white. She’s the cure to that deepest hurt and his feeling of unworthiness.

But, erm, back to 10x19 The Werther Project and a timeline where none of that has happened so far:

Suddenly those sexually charged Rowena hallucinations he has later in this episode are making even more sense to me than they ever have before... as does the fact that he declined Rowena’s help when having a seasoned witch around who offered her help freely sure would have seemed like the more sensible choice here.

That he hallucinated her calling him “Sammy” when that’s something he always got mad about when it was done by anyone other than Dean is... certainly something.

I very much read the “It’s opening” not only in reference to the Werther’s Box, but also as Sam’s desire that’s woken up in full here.

And I don’t even mean that in an exclusively physical way, it’s also his desire for magic and knowledge and a kindred spirit and connection and being seen and appreciated for who he is and what he can offer, much like what Rowena herself craves after a life filled with rejection and never fitting in.

Yep. He is so gone on her.

And yes, I also see “it” very much as a placeholder for both of them.

Not even to mention the fact that he 100% trusted whatever this hallucination was telling him, no matter what.

Even if it was to make a blood sacrifice of himself.

To bring this full circle, let’s not forget that he also hallucinated Rowena being impressed by and appreciative of his knowledge of Latin, which... is so painfully ironic with regard to the beginning of this post, I want to bang my head against the desk.

Sam, buddy... you realize you didn’t have to make this shit up, right? You could have had the real one. She wanted exactly the same things you did. She actually appreciated your knowledge of Latin. You both could have been your sapiophile selves around each other all day long to your hearts’ delight.

No? Okay then.

To silence the box, slake its thirst... I mean, seriously. Come on.

And yes, I absolutely see the box as a metaphor for Sam’s deepest wishes. Which takes Rowena’s fondling of the inscription to a whole new level.

Then there’s also the little fact that this is what Benny said to Dean in Dean’s hallucination of Purgatory that was happening at the same time:

And guess what?

Dean woke up on his own.

Guess who didn’t?

Sam didn’t.

Dean actually slapped him, and Sam attacked Dean with a knife for trying to break him out of the illusion.

And even through all of this, even after Dean bandaged Sam’s bleeding wound and began to sacrifice his own blood instead, the Rowena illusion still persisted until the box was opened.

Oh well, indeed. And when Sam next met the real Rowena at the end of the episode, he put her in shackles in a desperate attempt to keep control this time around. Because he had already gotten dangerously close to losing all restraint, just like with Ruby.

I... rest my case.

(Who am I kidding? I’ll never rest my case.)

(Can’t believe they went so far as to even have a similar background in both 10x19 and 15x03 when Sam and Rowena were holding hands like this. Both scenes feature dark gray stone walls with rays of light falling in through a curved window. And Rowena is wearing an iron chain around her wrist in 15x03 to ward off the ghosts when everyone else was wearing the iron chain around their neck. Was this sheer coincidence or done on purpose up to the smallest detail? I feel like I’m losing my mind here. Again all of these are Berens episodes.)

On a side note, when I used the Werther’s Box inscription repeatedly in my Samwena video, I also very much had that metaphor in mind and saw it as them growing closer and closer. In case you haven’t seen the video yet:

https://youtu.be/H0BJ-94EukE

[stellaridegifs]

I actually came in here on instinct. That’s what I always do when there’s a rough call, or I just need to talk.

STELLA KIDD and KELLY SEVERIDE (Chicago Fire)

[melancholyromance]

Happy and drunk Aaron.

[adamruz]

Adam Ruzek & Kim Burgess in CHICAGO P.D. 10.19 "The Bleed Valve"

[samepisodebracket]

Round 1; Group 30

[teamgibbsncis]

NCIS Season 10 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs

[criminalmindsverse]

AARON HOTCHNER | 10x19 | Beyond Borders

[inacatastrophicmind]

Supernatural + writing

[babyjapril]

April & Jackson + kisses not on the lips

[aborddelimpala]

Whump Sam | Season 10 - Requested by anonymous

[stellaridegifs]

Aw, Stella—you care. You care!  /  Yeah, so? What if I do care? Is that against law?

STELLA KIDD and KELLY SEVERIDE (Chicago Fire)

[melancholyromance]

Aaron and Gabe laughing at (and annoying) each other.

[shootforthestars-28]

These shirts and that *chest* 🫠🤤

[amaranthhiding]

Dean’s Angel Kink and Sam’s Witch Kink (Part 1)

You can find part 2 here.

Supernatural really went and gave Dean a canonical angel (and demon?) kink, and Sam a canonical witch (and demon?) kink…

I'm going insane over this because the groundwork for all of it was laid in the earliest seasons, and the meaning reaches so much deeper than just some stripper fantasies.

The image above is Dean's reaction to seeing only the girl dressed as devil in episode 5x13 The Song Remains the Same. This whole scene is a dream inside of Dean's mind, by the way.

Then a second girl dressed as angel enters the stage, and this is what Dean's face does.

Then Anna (the real one) walks into his dream, right onto the stage, and Dean's face gives things away again.

If we compare this to the insides of Sam’s mind, we have his hallucination in episode 10x19 The Werther Project.

Of course this hallucination features Rowena specifically, so this doesn’t really prove a general witch kink. But let’s go all the way back to episode 3x09 Malleus Maleficarum.

The brothers are investigating a crime scene, and while Dean talks to the witnesses, Sam finds a hex bag in the bathroom.

Dean is clearly digusted by the contents of the hex bag, and Sam seemingly agrees on how gross this is. He then proceeds to tell Dean, in detail, what the hex bag is made of.

He must have examined those bones thoroughly enough to actually identify the species of animal they stem from.

The disgusted frown on Dean’s face is not at all mirrored by Sam’s face. Instead, he seems interested, maybe even fascinated.

This isn’t disgusted Sam, this is full-nerd-mode-engaged Sam.

The way he’s holding the bag is almost reverent, cradling it in both hands like a valuable trophy after Dean can’t get it out of his own hands fast enough and returns it to him.

Sam doesn’t sound disgusted or hateful as he says this.

He sounds impressed.

Dean hates witches.

This is Sam’s face of brotherly agreement.

(No, it’s not.)

(Sorry, I had to.)

Sam says “Pretty much” in a quiet voice, with a thoughtful stare to who-knows-where... which, for me, pretty much means that he doesn’t agree with his older brother at all, he just isn’t telling Dean what he really thinks.

Then they find out in this same episode that Ruby is, in fact, a witch.

Sam’s reaction is... interesting.

(Especially given the fact that he’s currently pinned to a wall by magic and really should have things to worry about other than Ruby’s status as a witch.)

Once he knows, it seems like Sam can’t stop staring at Ruby.

Dean seriously has to push Sam out of the room backwards because he simply won’t quit staring.

Well, we all know which particular road that attraction to Ruby followed. I just never actually realized before that the witch thing may have been a big contributor.

Sam is such a nerd (affectionate).

(The following pictures are from 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer.)

Suddenly, the expression on Sam’s face when he reads about Rowena on a website in episode 10x07 Girls, Girls, Girls before their very first meeting makes so much more sense to me.

Or his speechless, heavy swallow when she says this:

Poor guy had to wait for 7 seasons to get his Old World black magic!

If one thing is certain, it’s that this witch is the real deal.

Rowena isn’t a borrower witch like Ruby who gained her powers from a demon.

No, she’s a natural called the most powerful witch alive by multiple sources.

So you’ll have to excuse Sam if his mouth is running a little dry at the thought that everything he thought he knew about magic so far was nothing but child’s play and that he’s about to gain insights into the good stuff.

The moment where Dean throws Rowena’s hex bag at Sam in 13x12 Various & Sundry Villains is even funnier to me now than ever before:

Ahem, anyway, let‘s return to Dean’s... divine fascination and take a closer look at both Dean and Sam in episode 2x13 Houses of the Holy (and it will actually tie back to Sam’s witch kink in the end as well).

I might have to move that second half of my musings into a separate Tumblr post, though, because I’m afraid I will reach the maximum number of allowed images per post in this one here soon.