#12 years on this godforsaken website

[theultradork]

It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[iamaperture]

elon: I'll get rid of the block button. Nobody uses it, its pointless.

Me, meanwhile:

[muffinrag]

Due to the Twitter shit I'm actually kind of concerned about people finding my Tumblr

I use essentially the same moniker online, everywhere. So if my friends ever decide to migrate and look me up they'll probably find me

[warholblows]

I’ve been on this godforsaken website since I was 12 years old. I was witness to the mishapocalypse, I PROUDLY reblogged superwholock gif sets, I was there when people anthropomorphized the clock from DHMIS and then watched as people actively wanted to fuck said anthropomorphic clock. Today I am 24, I am an adult with a degree and full time job and if you ask me to explain what exactly Homestuck is about. Bitch I got nothing.

[soopertiddies]

I'm so glad you're watching glee because I love your takes and I feel like glee has an effinophobia problem when it comes to kurt

Glee has a HUGE effeminophobia problem when it comes to Kurt and a lot of that stems from ryan murphy being a bitch (and he has a huge biphobia problem and it's very present in the show).

Like, if I could I'd let Amber, Dianna and Chris fight him in a Denny's parking lot for the way he treated them.

Let me preface this by saying that I was a huge glee fan in 2012 and I was in the trenches for Kurt Hummel at the age of 12 on this godforsaken website. This is my first time re-watching this show since it ended in 2015 and I didn't even watch the last season and probably won't be watching the last season so I can maintain the illusion that it simply does not exist.

I've seen the thinkposts from people who watched it for the first time and think Kurt is a "stereotype" and I always thought that was the dumbest thing i've ever seen because to me he was the blueprint. He was the first queer representation i'd ever seen on primetime television and helped me come to terms with my own queerness.

And there was even a big difference between how they treated Kurt vs. the other gay characters on the show. The biggest shining example was in season 1 with Kurt's crush on Finn.

When I re-watched this, I saw a teen who had a helpless crush on another teen. Was it a little cringe? Yes. But also his character was like 16 so that's prime cringe time. But GOD the think pieces on this. Calling him a "predator" a "creep" saying that Finn was JUSTIFIED in practically calling him a slur. What Kurt did was not worse than what any other character had done on that fucking show.

(Rachel coming on strongly to Finn, Rachel going to Will's HOUSE because she had a crush on him, Quinn lying to Finn about the baby, Mr. Schue in general)

But Kurt was the only one who had lasting consequences, like being told he couldn't sing a duet with Sam because he didn't know "when no means no".

People will go OUT of their way to demonize kurt's character and to me it looks a lot like people love queer character's until they don't fit the mold of what a queer character SHOULD look like. They like the "hot" "manly" gay guys and since Kurt doesn't fit that, he's not worth defending.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent and I'm not proofreading this and I hope I stayed somewhat on topic! Thank you for the ask! (If 12 year old PJ saw this post idk if she would be disappointed or proud).

[aryasnow]

15 Questions:

tagged by @thehiddenbaroness, @oftwodarkmoons, and @daughter-rhaenyra thank you all!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Allegedly named after my mom's favorite author, but my first and middle combo was basically the default name for girls in my class growing up. It was her second choice of a name which is disappointing considering her first choice was awesome. Instead I am literally Trendy McTrendName for the year I was born.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't really cry unless I have gone through something life altering or am very, very drunk. As such I'm guessing the last time was last St. Patrick's Day, as it likely will be again tomorrow.

3. Do you have kids?

No, never wanted them

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Competitive swimming was my entire life from elementary school on until I had to dial it back and eventually quit in college (too many injuries). I also did a fair amount of skiiing/snowshoeing/hiking/kayaking/etc growing up. In my 20's I got very into distance running but had to quit in 2019 because of (new and different!) injuries. These days I mostly do running (though less than before) and weights. Since the TikTok brigade took over my gym post-pandemic, I have been trying to somehow build a home gym in my 800 sq ft apartment and at this point I am only a stationary bike away from being free of them forever.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

You could say so, yes

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Honestly I am usually trying so hard not to make eye contact with people that I don't see much of anything. I suppose the honest answer is that I can tell if their body language is genuine or fake. And to really answer it, eyes and also arms. I love that my husband can pick me up like it's nothing what can I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. What’s your eye color?

Very, very dark brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am pretty indifferent to scary movies though I do enjoy them from time to time. I do like happy endings mostly because I hate loose ends. It's okay if they're bittersweet though.

9. Any talents?

Cooking and baking. They're my primary hobbies for a reason.

10. Where were you born?

The most beautiful state in the Union.

11. What are your hobbies?

Cooking (I try to do a new recipe once a week), baking, fitness, trivia leagues, word puzzles, garbage television, this godforsaken website.

12. Do you have any pets?

yep <3

they are 10 and 11 this year and it's absolutely killing me. I need them to live forever.

13. How tall are you?

5'6''

14. Favorite subject in school?

I loved English and US history a lot, but biology was always my favorite. In college it was biological anthro and archaeology.

15. Dream job?

My first thought was wine critic but I realized I would need to get better at describing wine as things other than "good" or "okay" (It would take a lot for me to call a wine bad. I drank exclusively Two Buck Chuck for years).

I think some sort of hotel or restaurant critic would be my dream. Letting me sample pretentious things while being professionally judgmental really would be ideal for me.

Please consider yourself tagged if you would like to fill this out!!

[bongwooder]

idk I guess I could make an official post about it since I've been basically regressing to 12 year old me anyways and she LOVED to overshare on this godforsaken website

click more for ramblings if ur curious! definitely interested in hearing others perspectives since I am very socially isolated rn compared to most people I guess

ever since my ADHD diagnosis and possible autism diagnosis I've just been thinking a LOT about my life including my gender and sexuality. like, ever since my parent's divorce in 2022 I've been unravelling a lot of trauma I didn't even know I had, including how my roommate has helped me realize truly how emotionally neglected I was a child. it is NOT normal for a child to be online essentially 24/7 from ages 8-18. I think I really did some serious damage because my parents were too fucked to bother to check on me and make sure I like... went outside. had friends. showered. basic hygiene etc etc etc and of course I didn't know any better because uuuhhh children need to be TAUGHT things not just yelled at to do it or made fun of for their unknown disability. and I've been going through points of time where I'm MAD. like, PISSED. that my parents let me do that to myself. a little insecure neurodivergent girl searching, yearning, begging for ANYTHING to explain her inability to cope with reality and sensory overload, to socialize and make friends at school, to feel like her life had meaning and that what was not known at the time to be symptoms of her disability weren't just personal failures

so, of course, I feel like the moment I realized I may have a group that would actually accept me as I was, I latched onto it. and that was my beginning identifying as transgender. I've said this before to irl friends, but my thoughts at the time were "well I'm a completely well adjusted intelligent person [child], but I can't seem to get along with my female peers, so I must be a male actually!" but then like... idk why I always failed to realize the boys didn't like me either?? so it's not "girls don't like me because I'm too masculine and boys don't like me because I'm too feminine" it was actually just "no one likes me because I'm autistic"

and it's strange because I feel like the physical dysphoria felt VERY real, hating my chest and my genitals, but also like... I went through puberty kinda early and also bc I was fat I "had" to wear a bra VERY early. so I think I was resenting the sexualization of my body and coping with the fact that boys paid me 0 mind in any sort of dating context when that became relevant. So I think my dysphoria was actually more like dysmorphia?

and I think I only ever "hated pink and girly things" because I so desperately wanted attention from ANYONE, for SOMEONE to ask me what's wrong or why I thought that way, for someone to tell me it's okay to be a girl even though I'm fat and autistic. and it just never happened. and I grieve for that little girl who never felt like she could express herself in fear of what people would think bc she truly had no positive adult figures in her life. and I can't help but feel deep anger for the teachers around me who didn't realize just how deep the damage was, or if they did and told my parents and THEY chose to do nothing, I feel deep anger with them.

I thought maybe if I could just be a boy I didn't have to worry that much about being attractive to boys or being skinny or being pretty. then I could just be myself! and I think that did serve a purpose for its time.

I don't regret identifying as trans or any social transitioning I have already done. I love being Ollie, although I do wonder if another name may suit me better in these times. I know I'll always have an unconventional self expression but I just wonder what it would be like to be an independent adult woman because I've never been that, and I've never had adult women friends that have reached a level of platonic intimacy with me where I can discuss this and explore it with someone who has always lived as a woman! i yearn to decorate my body and dress myself in ways that reveal the the body I am proud to have carry me day by day no matter how large. I yearn to sink into softness and receive love, I don't want to fight for reciprocation. I don't want to be codependent but I just want to feel taken care of for once in my life instead of feeling like I'm crawling and clawing my way through life not knowing where the hell I'm going. I don't even know what womanhood/femininity MEANS but I want to try it! I think I'd enjoy it! do I have permission to try it? am I allowed to enjoy it? I hate that I need to be "brave" and "resilient" just to exist in my fucking body and brain. I resent the poisoned masses for resenting me but I know I know kindness and i know I am beautiful and I know I can provide happiness for others, I'm just also ready to be provided for too from a woman just as strong and beautiful and intelligent and kind and funny

I think I skated my point a little bit but even after saying all this, I don't know if I'll ever feel "cis." i think my life played out how it needed to for me to get here and now. my biggest fear is "coming out as cis" and having everyone who ever doubted my transness or invalidated me (including my own family) tell me "I told you it was a phase" because YEAH, MAYBE IT WAS. but at least I've been actively trying to listen to my body and brain to build the life I think will make me happiest in the context of my consciousness. and I just want to surround myself with people who trust me and know I'm smart and know this is something I think about deeply before projecting

all this to say I have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited to do it, cis or trans

[russeliarat]

Y’all are forgetting that Shadow is (technically) drawn as a tumblr kid in the four panel bonus comics of the Himekawa. Bro straight up has the entire confidence and audacity to lie about everything too, like a true 12 year old on this godforsaken website.

[starrystevie]

i need everyone to know that i always want your fic recommendations. any ship, any rating, any length, i want them all. if you've written something you want more people to read, send it to me! i am people who wants to read! your favorite comfort fic? give me, please! a fic that broke your heart and stitched it back together? i can't wait to be heartbroken with you. i cannot express how badly i want to read everything so please, please, send me all your recs.

[calumcest]

HELEN????????

das me xo

[bifurious-rex]

content warning for addiction, overdose, ableism, classism.

since apparently nobody on this godforsaken website knows how to google things or engage critically, some of yall been usin harm reduction in completely irrelevant ways that misconstrue what harm reduction actually is and, believe it or not, that fucking hurts people.

harm reduction: is the idea that moral judgement is not a productive aspect of addiction care and accommodating drug users. it's any practice designed to minimize the potential negative consequences of drug use and prioritizes overall well-being over stigmatizing drug use any further.

harm reduction is a relatively new idea that's only been put into practice in the past few decades, which is pretty fuckin sad considering the majority of it is common sense and was already practiced unofficially in certain marginalized communities.

what does harm reduction include? a whole lot of shit

needle exchange programs

decriminalization of drug usage

community support and outreach programs

access to naxolone (also known as Narcan,) which can reverse the effects of an opiate overdose

recovery programs

supervised injection sites

access to related healthcare without threat of discrimination or legal action

etc.

harm reduction is a wide-ranging field of strategies, it boils down to respecting drug users, meeting them where they're currently at, and keeping all involved parties as safe as possible.

addiction is horrifically stigmatized, and this stigmatization leads to families being ripped apart, people overdosing, incarceration, and a host of other consequences. for many of us, addiction is a reality that we cannot ignore. it's ourselves, our loved ones, our communities. as it stands, marginalized communities are disproportionately affected by the stigma of addiction and drug usage, especially communities of color and poor communities. i am from appalachia, and while i'm not personally in recovery, i was raised by a mother who is. i grew up going to 12-step programs, and i've seen the way the system and its view of addiction destroys lives.

i say this to show the stakes. harm reduction is the first time that the needs and humanity of addicts and drug users has really been formally considered by organizations, much less local governments. it's potentially game-changing for many people. harm reduction saves lives. it keeps kids from being raised by grandparents or in the foster care system. it keeps people from OD-ing in the streets. it gives the chance for addicts to be treated like the people they are, in a world that does nothing but vilify and kill them. every overdose could be preventable. anything that gets in the way of that costs lives.

why is this relevant rn? because people online have a habit of taking serious terminology and diluting the meaning to prove their own point. i'm telling yall right now, you cannot be doing that. i don't even want to get into the specific case that i just witnessed, because point blank, yall cannot be using this to win arguments in fandom or shed accountability. harm reduction is DEEPLY stigmatized in many of the communities its most need in. in 2015, 25 to 40 year olds in appalachia were 70% higher in terms of fatal overdoses than those outside of appalachia. (source) overall, for a lot of social and political reasons, the stigma is worse in places it's needed more. (example)

can harm reduction be used in other contexts? yes!!! absolutely! (for example, it's also utilized by sex workers.) it should be used in other contexts, when it's appropriate and productive.

do you know when it isn't productive? when you're diluting the meaning by using it when talking about fandom shit. for real, if i ever have to see this shit again i'm going to lose my mind. please understand that the misunderstanding of what harm reduction is kills people. it is not a toy for you to play with. undermining the actual purpose of harm reduction gives politicians and opponents to harm reduction more leverage to block life-saving programs that are desperately needed and sorely underfunded.

this shit is particularly relevant rn because the pandemic has led to overdose rates skyrocketing. alright? ok.

FIND A HARM REDUCTION PROGRAM NEAR YOU (x)

reading you can do: (this is not extensive, i'm fuckin exhausted from writing this shit out. if you have suggestions hmu. also they're biased towards wv and appalachia bc. hick.) Understanding Harm Reduction (available in English, Chinese, Punjabi, Farsi, French, Korean, Spanish, and Vietnamese) Reducing Stigma in Appalachia Sex Work + Harm Reduction Stigma Free WV How the Closure of Harm Reduction Changes Rural Healthcare IHRC 2019 Reading List NHRC Resource Center

[deepdarkdelights]

Context: this is my younger sister's wedding (I'm the eldest). I am married and another of my sisters is as well, so this is the 3rd wedding in my family. My husband and I live out of state.

First: I don't even like the guy she's marrying, but I also seem to be the only one with that opinion. He's nice but a bit hot-headed and my sister is stubborn as fuck so their arguments are ridiculous and are almost always started by him.

Second: I also seem to be the only one who thinks this is going too fast. My sister got played a lot in high school by top tier douchebags so she swore off dating for a number of years, including just casual dating (completely understandable too) and was at college for like, 2 years before she met him. HOWEVER he's the first guy she's dated since high school- story goes they had three dates in the span of a week, kissed on the second, were exclusive by the third, and were engaged maybe a month or two later. And a very large part of me is very worried that she's latching onto him because he was the first guy to treat her right (or at least better than she had previously experienced) and she thinks she won't find anyone else.

Third: my husband and I live out of state so we had to fly in yesterday, and that came with all its own problems. Our flight was at 6am and the airport is about a 2 hour drive away so we left late at about 3am (staying up until then due to just not being ready to leave in general) and therefore nearly missed boarding our flight and not getting a chance to rest or eat at the airport.

So we land a couple hours later, flight isn't too bad, and make plans to get breakfast before driving to my family's so we have a last few moments together before jumping into wedding madness. We take the shuttle to the car rental place we had paid for and reserved specifically because their website said we didn't need a credit card in order to rent a car. We wait in line for 15 minutes, then get to the counter and the lady working asks for ID and the card we used to pay online. Pull out my ID and the card and she looks at it and goes "this is debit, do you have a credit card?" And we're like, "well, no, your website said we didn't need credit." And she's just "Yeah our policy changed about a year and a half ago and we haven't updated our website, you need credit"

🤬🤬🤬🤬

So we take the shuttle back to the airport where we take the cable car to the train station and then we'll ride up and have someone come pick us up. No problem really, just that we'll be without a car all weekend, but at this point we are so done. We've been up for 24+ hours and hadn't eaten in 12+. We just wanted to get to my family's and eat some food and take a nap.

But while my husband was dealing with the rental place, a friend I had been hanging out earlier in the week messages me and says "hey I got tested positive for covid"

😫😫😫😫

So we're on the train trying to figure out what we're gonna do, obviously we're gonna get tested but if our tests come back positive we're gonna be holed up in a hotel bc we can't get on the flight home and we can't stay with any of our family members- and we won't be able to attended this godforsaken wedding that we've already been thru so much shit to get thru

My dad picks us up at the train station and takes us straight to the store to pick up some rapid tests we can take- I have a mental breakdown bc i am so so fucking tired and hungry and cold (it was raining on and off). My dad takes us back to the house and we take the tests in the garage. While we're waiting my husband gets a call from his mother, who tells us (I can't make this shit up if I tried):

Overnight, an arsonist burned down five houses, and bc they were older the smoke that came from them was super toxic, so the entire town woke up coughing with sore throats (the guy was caught but the police haven't released any other info yet). So we didn't have covid (the tests came back negative too) we had just inhaled toxic smoky air for a solid hour or so while we were driving to the airport

🙃🙃🙃🙃

Fourth: when me and my other sister got married, it was our mom who was kinda the crazy mother-in-law, but for this wedding it's my sister's fiance's mother who's crazy, and after everything I have gone thru in the past pfffft 36ish hours I will not hesitate to slap a bitch. My siblings and i all have this very strong sense of passive aggressive loyalty to each other, where we can be super mean to each other but if you're outside our circle you don't get to be mean to any of us (and since I'm the oldest I have a bit more of that "dont you dare touch my siblings I Will Fuck You Up" mentality).

So to recap: I'm running on a collective 10 hours of sleep and very very little food for my younger sister's wedding to a guy I don't necessarily approve of and who's mother is crazier than mine and might end up in a fight with me if she starts pushing my already tense buttons the wrong way

🫖🫖🫖🫖

The drama and tea have been spilled. I hope this mildly entertained you during your quarantine~~ 😘😘

UPDATE: ITS RAINING

I kinda hope this wedding kills me

Oh wow you have certainly gone through it, haven't you! This was more than entertaining trust me 😂

It raining really was the cherry on top of this whole ordeal. I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to you, my professors have not been very kind when it comes to coursework while I am sick!

Well, now that the wedding is over I hope the rest went smoothly for you (especially with the mother in law) and you made it back home safe!

[thanager]

i remember when i was a 12 year-old on this godforsaken website and now i’m 20. time flies when you spend 8 years on tumblr, i guess

[gobbluthbutagirl]

last night after i got home from work i typed out this whole rant about my job and when i tried to hit the “post” button not only did it not post but this entire website stopped working for me on all platforms for over an hour. and i don’t think it was down for literally anybody else and i could still access every other website ever so i’m choosing to believe this was god trying to smite me for saying my job is, and i quote, “like if the joke the bee gees started had been a target.” and well i won’t apologize. that’s true and i’m not sorry. we only have ONE handbasket left in the entire store and we had like 100+ when we opened a year ago. we had like 100+ when i started in august. we had 12 at the beginning of february. we had 8 in the middle of february. we had 4 at the beginning of march and we lost half of those on st patrick’s day. and now we’ve got ONE. do you know how many people come into this godforsaken target on a daily basis? probably thousands. and do you know how many ask about handbaskets? probably hundreds. and we have ONE. in the whole entire store. which to me is pretty much worse than having none. if we’ve got one then whatever lucky bastard is fortunate enough to get to it first is carrying it around the store where everyone can see it and they’re all like, “hey, you guys got any more of those handbaskets?” and i have to be like, “no, sorry, the one that he has is THE ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE STORE because ALL THE DOZENS OF OTHERS WE STARTED OUT WITH GOT STOLEN.” like some type of clown. like some type of bastard. like some type of idiot. like some type of fool. and if there’s none then at least nobody’s got one. not even some guy. and everybody who asks about them just gets told we don’t have any. no elaboration as to why required. i might even go in there this afternoon and hide that last one somewhere just so i don’t have to deal with it. like for the love of christ it’s a target with only ONE handbasket because ALL the other ones got stolen. and we’ve got our ONE handbasket just sitting there in that stand all by its lonesome like that’s normal. like in what world is this NOT a joke. and in what world is it not on me

[honey-makki]

well, i guess sappy posts are better late than never. i can’t believe i’ve only been on anime tumblr for 8 months and writing for 6. it’s crazy how influential my time here has been on me and the relationships i’ve fostered. i guess this is also my thank you for 2.5k because i hit that recently. im so thankful and grateful you have let me create a nice lil coffeeshop in my own corner of tumblr. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, (ok maybe some things but not many). I will be disgustingly sappy and in love with people under the cut. beware of cavities from the sweetness.

@heauxzenji​ god you are really the love of my mf life. i talk to you more than i talk to my irl bestfriends and i live with them. i’m glad i can wake you up with horny thoughts everyday but its kinda homophobic that you are three hours behind me. manifesting that this year we get to see each other so our gay horny love can be actualized.

@sugardaddykenma​ lin you are simultaneously my love and my aunt and i wouldn’t have it any other way. please send me more snaps of you screaming because the really make me laugh. im happy we are genuine friends and i care about you so much. will flee to canada on a moments notice, on your beck and call my love.

@satendou​ spencer you are my wife and live teasingly close to me. i’m so happy i got drunk that one night and you messaged me because i was way too nervous to message you even though i wanted to. you are fantastic and oneday we will both not be ghosts and really catch up. i love you regardless.

@keijiskitten​ laura. my baby kitty lauwa. please come be my irl catgirl i will buy the nicest collars. you are so so sweet and genuine and im blessed to have oun in my life. sometimes royal!au sneaks into my head when im doing other stuff just so you know that you have fully ruined me as a person but i love it.

@crushzone​ nin. my god you are the sweetest person on this godforsaken website. every interaction i’ve ever had with you has been nothing less than wonderful. thank you for being horny w me and drawing the cutest fucking photo of me and shinkami ever. now watch mha so we can talk about aizawa,

@sgwrscrsh​ skye baby girl. mwah. a kiss. thank you for reminding me ao3 exists all those months ago when you sent me in another life. you have ruined me as a person but i sent you that monster fic so maybe we are even. i love you. thank you for the christmas gift i loved it SO much.

@cno-inbminor​ kay. quick friends bc we are same person and i love u. please stream urr next baking session it makes me happy. also townes!sakusa. just a reminder so you can think about that sweater. 

@samuslut​ wing we haven’t talked too much but i just want you to know i love you so much and admire your work and world building. you are a fantastic writer and a great person

@stallionissei​ miss cas!! we aren’t the closest but talking to you is literally always a pleasure and i love it. i hope your move is going ok and you all get settled down soon! lets talk soon!

@lesbians4yaku​ joy. my first love. you were one of my first friends on tumblr and im ever thankful for that. i care about you so so so much. just seeing your name and you exist makes me smile. we should talk about more evolutions soon because that was very very fun. enjoy your nips and this kiss im sending u *mwah*

to everyone in tumblr babies, i’m so glad i was there in the start of my journey. its such a safe and fun space. thank you for letting me tease *people* about glasses fetishes and just go buck wild in the thirst chats. thank you for voting me horniest member <3 @ceo-of-daichi @hqsoftboysupremecy @scorpiosanssexy @nonexistent-social-life 

to my fellow gravediggers and funeral home employees. yes ive been in the server for like 3 months and yes i am already 8th in rank, no i don’t know how to shut up. thanks for dealing with me. You are my favorite home and i want to cook all you a meal and pet the babies. @xakusa @lumos-flies @tsumue @iwaasfairy @sasa-writes-fandom-things @sweet-sugu @keijiiszn​ 

god, to all of my other mutuals i love you so much and you are all badass. i would fight the horny police and whatever 12 year old kids are in your inbox for all of you. you are all immensely talented and i still wonder why some of you follow me. thank you for every single reblog, comment, advice or like you’ve given me bc it shoots serotonin directly into my heart. which isn’t how its supposed to work but feels nice anyways.

@undermattsun @onefortyninecm @rat-suki @bakatenshii @godjo  @dxddykeiji @saetyrn9 @introloves @pomsuki @lookslikeleese @tetsou @whats-her-quirk @blahkugo @dearsakusa @sugawarakoushihoe @stonersugawara @koutarouthighs @prettysetterbaby @heyhinata @seita @present-mel. 

im going to stop tagging because m tumblr has crashed four times and im already close to max and i really really don’t want to type this out again. thank you to every person who has supported me and i can’t wait to see where this year leads us.

[aforrestofstuff]

What's the stupidest thing the heroes have done. (+Garou.) Gimme the most crackhead fueled idea you can come up pls.

Okie dokie! Thanks for the request, anon! ❤️🧡

Tornado of Terror: She was really out of it one day and ended up flinging herself off a building, thinking she was using her powers to fly when she was actually falling to the ground at Mach 20 speed. She snapped out of it just before hitting the concrete, and floated to the ground like normal. The passerby thought she was just playing tricks, when in all actuality, she was just running on 5% brain power.

Silverfang: decided to adopt Garou.

Atomic Samurai: He often mistakes Bushidrill for Kama whenever Bushi has his hair down. Kami would walk outside, see Bushi washing his hair, and he’d ask the disciple a question relating to makeup or something Kama would know, and Bushi would turn around (in all of his hairy, mustache glory) and say in a stupid voice, “whaaaaat?”

Child Emperor: he’s done a lot of stupid shit purely out of sleep depravation, but the thing that takes the cake is the time that he almost started a robot uprising by programming an ai that came really close to having the emotional intelligence of a human. Luckily, he had a lot of precautions to make sure things didn’t get out of hand and he ended that shit before his lab went all Skynet on his ass. He was just really lonely and he wanted a friend, ok.

Metal Knight: he does a stupid thing every time he wakes up in the morning: being alive.

King: accidentally ruined his progress on one of the hardest games he’s ever played because he thought cleaning the cartridge with a wet dishrag and drying it with a hairdryer would be a good idea. Granted, he was 7 years old, but it was still tomfoolery.

Zombieman: nothing he does really has lasting consequences because he’s immortal, but he once ate a rock just to fuck around and it has been in his stomach for over a decade because that shit can’t digest. It was only during the homeless emperor fight that the pebble was set free, and now Zombieman has additional room for beer. Everyone wins.

Drive Knight: had to get an anti-virus software installed in his brain because he tried to download government secrets from a sketchy website via Bluetooth. He survived the robot-equivalent of a stroke but he’s recovered and is alright now. Unfortunately.

Pig God: swallowed a child accidentally. The kid is fine, but now they have ✨trauma✨

Superalloy Darkshine: the stupidest thing he’s done was when he first started working out as a skinny lad, he went for the biggest weights first and decided to do reps without having anyone spot him and broke both of his arms! Oh boy, did the depression really hit in those times.

Watchdog Man: the dumbest thing he’s done had to have been when he decided on the dog costume, not knowing it would immediately become his Brand. Now he’s the designated furry of the hero association and even though he’s not exactly mad about it, he just sometimes wishes he didn’t have to wear something so fucking itchy all the damn time.

Flashy Flash: raced an airplane as it was flying through the sky and ended up running into a tree, subsequently breaking every bone in his face.

Genos: convinced Dr. Kuseno to not perform any bug checks after getting a new upgrade. This was some years back. Genos ended up almost getting a stroke because some robo-stuff got all fucky in his brain and he’s vowed to never convince Kuseno to do any dumb shit like that again.

Metal Bat: Thought it would be a good idea to do that thing where you jump on an air mattress while someone’s sitting on the other end and the force catapults them forward, except that person happened to be Zenko and she ended up being yeeted out of a second-story window because Badd is pretty much a full-grown man and Zenko is a tiny precious little angel baby. She was fine, but now she’s got a cool scar to show for it.

Tanktop Master: Back when he wasn’t as ripped, he decided to do deadlifts one day but didn’t secure the weights correctly on the bar, so they rolled off onto his feet and he now has a limp. Dumbass.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: became a sex offender.

Amai Mask: Started a performance onstage without realizing he had a face mask on and came out looking like Shrek. Of course, he owned it and said it was part of the show but only after the press had speculated over it for like 2 years.

Okamaitachi: has a track record of falling in love with monsters/villains she’s supposed to kill. Luckily, nobody’s gotten hurt due to her lovestricken-ness during combat (yet).

Iaian: called his Sensei a poopyhead at age 12 and got the ass-whooping of his life.

Bushidrill: called his Sensei a poopyhead at age 37 and got the ass-whooping of his life.

Fubuki: was teasing Tatsumaki while they were both kids and told her that she was adopted. Little Tatsu got really offended and ended up unearthing their entire house in a psychokinesis fit, causing a lot of propety damage. To this day, their parents blame Fubuki for having the family almost go bankrupt while trying to fix it.

Saitama: thought he was doing a pretty good job of taking care of his cactus, so he got a pet fish to serve as a bit of a challenge. The little guy lived for 3 years before Sai accidentally killed it by feeding it some off-brand fish food, since it was the only thing Sai could afford at the time. Saitama legitimately went through a depressive phase after the death of his fish and refuses to get another one because nothing could ever replace his old pal.

Mumen Rider: was about to go on patrol as per usual, but forgot to lift the brake on his bike and ended up doing a reverse-wheelie, subsequently face-planting on the concrete. It was the 17th time he’s ever broken his nose.

Sonic: same shit as Flashy Flash because every ninja from that godforsaken village shares a single brain cell, and its dying.

Garou: back at the dojo, he got really angsty one day and decided to try and poison daddy Silverfang. Garou mixed dish soap in with Silverfang’s tea in a dead-serious attempt to commit murder (not really, he’s just dramatic [plus I’m pretty sure Silverfang ain’t gonna die via dish soap poisoning but I digress]) but Silverfang literally fell over laughing because the old shit thought it was a prank.