#19 days fanfiction

[synthsamuri]

The Heart of a Star ⭐️

---Summary--- He Tian attempts to earn his freedom by promising his mother to retrieve a fallen star. As he crosses the border of his hometown, he finds himself in a world of magic, mystery, and even a bit of danger. Here he find so much more than just a lump of rock and metal in the ground, altering his world and challenging his heart's true desires. Read here on Ao3!

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Introducing my latest project, a six chapter fanfic based off of/ inspired by Stardust by Neil Gaiman. There are many scenes that come almost directly from the book/movie and others that I've completely altered. All credit for this original story goes to Gaiman, and of course, all 19 Days characters belong to Old Xian.

I would also like to thank @rainy19days for her assistance looking over this work for me! Trust me when I say there would be a LOT of issues if not for her most kind and constructive advice. This fic would likely not have been completed yet alone shared if not for her feedback so once again, thank you my dear friend! <3

I hope you all enjoy this fic! I’m excited to share it with you all! Thank you!

[faynthearted]

He Tian acts in moments.

One moment he’s here, the next he’s there. One moment he’s kind, the next he’s sly. One moment he’s cuffed, the next he has Guan Shan’s jaw in a grip and a look in his eye that sharpens with a breathy thank you on Guan Shan’s lips. And it sounds nothing like gratitude but rather something more heated, more urgent, and no, it’s not gratitude – it’s a prelude. 

Thank you, it says, for what you’re about to give me.

Guan Shan can only stammer something breathless against it because He Tian acts in moments and, in a moment, his mouth is on Guan Shan’s.

* * *

read the rest of the missing kiss scene on AO3!

(reblogs appreciated! <3)

[onlinegirloo]

Oh they were definitely using tongue and being handsy as fuck trust me. MO HAD NO REASON FOR WHINING THAT LOUD IF IT WAS A SIMPLE CUTSEY LITTLE KISS 🙅‍♀️.

[nightfayre]

Jealousy isn’t quite what Guan Shan felt when Jian Yi returned.

When he’d gotten Zheng Xi’s text — a mere ‘Jian Yi’s back.’, as if Zheng Xi wasn’t rendered half-mute when Guan Shan called him immediately afterward — the feeling had started deep in Guan Shan’s chest, clawing outwards as if rediscovering the world after a period of dormancy. It didn’t hurt, but it took hold of something he forgot existed within him, rattling it back to life despite him believing it was dead.

To his defense, it had spent seven years in the grave. Guan Shan had thrown a fistful of soil atop its polished casket — then another, and another, until it was secured six feet under and he could stand on top of the mound and press his shoe prints into the wet earth and pretend like that meant he’d overcome it. Like he’d gotten the last word.

“I don’t know what I should do,” Zheng Xi had said on the phone, his voice strange. Guan Shan couldn’t tell if he was crying or angry or both. “I don’t know if I’ll let him inside next time. It was a mess. He was so—”

There was a long pause.

“Did you fight?” Guan Shan asked.

Another pause. “No. We didn’t… yell. But he was upset that I was upset that he’s just appeared and I— I didn’t know what to tell him.” He sighed, and Guan Shan could see him with his head in a hand, staring at the floor. “I told him to leave, and he did.”

Guan Shan knew Zheng Xi well enough to recognize that any advice at that moment would fall on deaf ears. The first year of Jian Yi’s disappearance had a violent impact on Zheng Xi, and Guan Shan quickly learned that quiet company was the best medicine. If and when Zheng Xi wanted to talk, Guan Shan would be there. So he said, “I can catch the train.”

Zheng Xi hesitated. “It’s late.”

“I can be there in an hour.”

After a long moment: “Okay.”

They hung up and, pulling on his shoes, Guan Shan ignored the tremble of his hands. He thought of He Tian for the first time in months.

He wondered if it was possible for jealousy to feel like a ghost standing in the corner of the room.

———

continue reading on AO3!

(reblogs greatly appreciated!! <3)

[rainy19days]

It's possible that @elaine19day and I have manifested the scene from the newest chapter with our roleplay (you're welcome).

Here's an excerpt from chapter 12 of The Edger:

Guan Shan puts his half eaten burger away into the cardboard box and leans in closer to He Tian, grabbing onto his wrists with both hands before tilting his head slightly sideways and taking a big bite from the corner of the bun.

He doesn't move back and instead savors the taste while chewing on the crispy filet.

It's good and he lets out a satisfied grunt as he looks up at He Tian.

Fuck!!

Could he possibly eat a fucking burger in a more lascivious manner?!

He Tian's thoughts go wild for a moment, imagining the redhead on his knees, holding onto his own naked waist while He Tian wipes his thumb over his bottom lip and—

Nope. No, no, no! He can't go there!

He huffs, not moving, watching him chew and devour.

You can read our fic on AO3.

[shooketh-h0e]

I know this is late and random but can someone tell me if Jian Yi hung up the confessions on the bulletin board???

And if he did then why???

Also did he grab the note back because last time I checked I thought he gave it to Zhan??

[writesfic]

change / recovery / growth

mo guan shan doesn’t realize how much he’s changed over the summer. weeks can span like a lifetime. the lingering bruises on his face don’t show splotches anymore, but he still remembers the oblong splashes of purple against his skin. he remembers the scratch of the bandages and the ache in his heart that’s only grown into something unnameable.

coming back to school, his skin pulls too tight over his body. he sees the same, familiar faces down the hallways, but his own feels alien when he catches sight of it in the bathroom mirror. softer, but also less pained. as the dark ring around his throat healed, it’s taken all the hurt with it too.

the absence of all that weight makes him feel functioning, like a passable human being. he says hi to his classmates, volunteers to answer a question at the front of the class, gets it wrong. it all feels so... normal. 

he tian meets his eyes from his seat, smile a little fonder than before. he catches himself before doing something embarassing - like smiling back. instead, he receives the shitty lunchbox with sure hands, takes the time to savour each grain of mushy rice and the salty tang of convenience store meat.

change comes by slow and uncomfortable, but he’s slowly getting the picture. there’s no iou. what he tian has done, is doing for him, he’s unable to count any longer. it’s a debt of a lifetime; no point in keeping score. he takes peeks out of the corner of his eyes, greedy with what he can get away with. he tian still feels comfortably the same, but things between them have shifted irrevocably as spring bloomed into summer and yielded the start of autumn.

that sweet ache in his chest stings. somewhere along the line, he’s told himself that he deserving. he wishes abstractly for these endless, sweltering, halycon days where he feels nigh on invincible to never end. he gets to have this. he gets to have him.

[beautifulboysbeingbusy]

I need the power of the 19 days fandom!!

For two weeks now I’ve been searching for a 19 days fanfic I’ve read once but can’t find anymore. In short Tianshan are boyfriends for a short time. HT is kinda impatient to get more physical with his hubby but Mo does not show a particular interest to take what they have any further yet. So HT has the brilliant idea to sneakily alter Momo’s devices in a way to show him more gay physical stuff in ads ect.

Anyone know this one??!? Please help!!!🙏

[19eyebrows]

tianshan promt: grabby hands, sneaky hands, tender hands ≧◇≦

I know I'm (very, very late) but I still hope you'll like it :)

Grabby Hands

They were not the softest nor the most skill hands but it didn't matter in that very moment. Right now it only mattered what they could reach. Cotton, lace, metal, leather and finally skin. In mere seconds He Tian had peeled Guanshan out of most his clothes. His cotton shirt, his laced necktie, he even had managed to open the metal buckle of the leather belt that had hold his pants in place. Off, off everything needed to be undone so that He Tian finally could touch his most beloved directly. He could hear a small moan and... was this a chuckle? He Tian smiled widely and grabbed Mo Guanshan by his hand. "Let's go to the bedroom."

Sneaky Hands

Everyone knew that Mo Guanshan was a very reserved person. He just never liked the attention focused on him, was it by a group or a single person. Maybe that was the reason he never liked to show affection openly in the public. It first stared when he was a kid and other children were laughing at him when his kissed his mom goodbye or when he hugged a follow friend from kindergarden. "Men don't do stuff like this"

Once he grew older physical contact with other people had stopped completely other than getting into fights. His mom tried it a few times but gave up on her stubborn teenage son. That was before he met He Tian (and Jian Yi, on a platonic level he was even worse than He Tian).

And over time and over the change in their relationship he got more and more comfortable with touches of affection again. Slowly his shoulders relaxed and he gave in to He Tian more and more. And now he even built the courage to sneak his hand into He Tians whenever he was sure nobody could see them. It was a small gesture but it was a step in the right direction and it make them happy, both of them.

Tender Hands

It was unexpected, definitely not planned and honestly the worst way for Mo's mom to find out about their relationship. All she wanted was to surprise her hard working son with a delicious meal in his small flat but if Guanshan had known he wouldn't have invited He Tian over and definitely wouldn't have kissed him passionately as soon as the door shut down. Shocked and embarrassed as never before in his life Guanshan was now sitting at the kitchen table together with his mom and his boyfriend (who seems to be calm but Mo knew him better). After a torturing eternity of silence mother Mo finally took a deep breath.

"I can't say I'm not surprised but..." she leaned forward a bit. "somehow I knew it." both men looked at her shocked.

"What?"

"No no I didn't knew you were... But somehow I always found your relationship special. You never acted the same with your other friends as with He Tian, Guanshan."

He basically felt how He Tian smiled beside him but Guanshan just felt miserable.

"mom... I'm sorry.... I didn't wanted to lie to you and... I... I could understand if you are disappointed now-"

"Stop right there!" his mother said with a hard voice that made both, He Tian and Mo flinch.

He Tian was just about to argue back at her, thinking she would get angry at her now outed son. But to his surprise and tender hand took his and another Guanshans.

"I can't deny that I'm not shocked and it definitely will take some time for me to... get used to it. But I'm not disappointed. You are my son and I love you! And I'm honestly happy for you." her eyes shifting from her son to He Tian. "At least I know you are in good hands."

[steviewashere]

Debrief

Rating: General CW: None Really Apply to This One! Tags: Established Relationship, Married Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Hurt/Comfort, Deep Breath Exercises, Dialogue Heavy, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington has Seizures (Not shown), Steve Harrington has Migraines (Not shown), Stressed Steve Harrington, Neurodivergent Steve Harrington, Not Really Said But it Is Implied, Negative Stimming (Hair Pulling), Teacher Steve Harrington

For the @steddielovemonth prompt: "Love is helping them unwind after a rough day."

💕—————💕

It was a bad day when Eddie hears the front door slam close. The first telltale sign that Steve’s had it rough, that he’s worked himself up, that he’s thinking too hard and too fast and needs to unwind. What comes next is the groans and the huffs and the irritated little sighs. The slamming of his thermos on the dining table. A chucked briefcase. Sneakers that, from where Eddie can see on their couch, get creased on the heel from how Steve takes them off. Never a good sign.

Just as he rocks forward to stand up from his comfortable cushion, Steve comes careening around the corner. A lukewarm plastic bottle of water in his left hand, glasses unfolded and dangling in the other. His hair is standing up every which way, as if he’s been pulling at it for the last little bit. Dress shirt untucked, sweater vest already absent from his body. He’s removed his belt somewhere in the time it took him to get home. So his pants are threatening to fall off his waist. But he just rushes over to the couch and plops down unceremoniously. Eddie leans back in his spot, attempting to nonchalantly lay about his space, waiting for Steve to start the conversation.

Really, he shouldn’t let Steve continue to be worked up. But, for the sake of who Steve is and for the sake of an argument-less night, Eddie has to indulge.

It’s not even three minutes later that the water bottle is crumpled in Steve’s grip, empty, and carelessly thrown onto their coffee table. Eddie turns down the volume of their TV as soon as Steve huffs.

“I fucking hate this new principal,” he seethes. Here we go, Eddie thinks, though calm. “She just drops into my classroom without giving me any sort of warning. Gets all my kids excited to the point they can’t calm down. Her fucking heels were practically stomping about the tile. And she is so demanding!” Steve’s elbows are set heavily on his knees, pressing down hard enough to leave an obvious divot in his pants. His fingers are splayed over the sides of his face, itching to move into his hair.

Eddie turns towards him a little. But he doesn’t say anything, not yet, at least.

“Fucking—“ He cuts himself off with a groan. “—Going through my lesson plan! Tsking under her breath whenever she sees something not up to her standards. Grumbling that certain things were going to be too hard or too long or too…Ugh!” There his hands go, wrapping around tendrils of his hair. He tugs hard enough that the skin on his scalp stretches with the movement. “At least my previous boss would wait until after the students left the classroom! At least she’d fucking explain in length why certain things weren’t working. This new principal, she just fucking takes it upon herself to scratch things out all willy-nilly—AND—she doesn’t consult me about it first! Doesn’t even explain! Doesn’t give me the chance to explain! I just—I don’t—“

This is the time where Eddie has to cut in. He leans into Steve’s space little by little. Enough until they’re warm at each other’s sides. His hands cover the backs of Steve’s. “Let go, honey,” he whispers. And waits, squeezing at Steve’s skin until he does release. “There we go,” Eddie murmurs, “Take a deep breath for me.”

He stutters through an inhale, but instead of exhaling—“It’s so stupid! Who the fuck does she think she is?! And none of the other teachers like her! They all think—“

“Steve,” Eddie murmurs firmer, “You need to take a deep breath.” Inhale and exhale. Then, Eddie states, “Stress causes seizures and migraines, sweetheart. She isn’t somebody worth getting sick over.”

“She’s my boss, Eddie,” Steve whines back.

Eddie runs his palms soothingly up and down Steve’s arms. Some of the tension seeps from his shoulders, but the rest of his body is pulled taut like a brand new bow. “I know,” he whispers, “but she doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me. And you getting sick over somebody like her only does harm.” He ducks down and meets Steve’s eyes. They’re shiny with tears, red on the waterlines, squinted to avoid crying. “You can tell me about what happened, but I’m going to help you, alright? You remember how we do this?”

Steve sniffles. One of his hands wipes at the bottom of his nose, coming away wet with snot. He grimaces, but sucks on his bottom lip in thought. When it comes to him, he mumbles, “Deep breaths. Quiet voice.”

Nodding, Eddie whispers, “You got it, love bug. Take another deep breath and then tell me what’s bothering you.” He brings a palm to settle over Steve’s chest, rubbing in slow circles over his heart. It’s beating hard and fast under his palm. Unsettling. Pressing a little into his sternum, Eddie requests, “Go ahead and lay down on the couch.” He stands from his spot and waits for Steve to elongate. Once his legs are stretched out and his head is cushioned on one of their lousy throw pillows, Eddie settles on the edge of the middle cushion, close to Steve’s hip. He keeps his hand on Steve’s chest. Doesn’t crowd his space, but the heavy weight of his arm is reminder enough that he’s there.

Steve closes his eyes. Hands rested on his belly. Fingers splayed instead of tugging at one another. The inhale lasts for four seconds. And Eddie’s proud of the way Steve holds it, the entire seven seconds. Not once giving up on it. When he exhales, his eyes flutter back open. He finds Eddie’s face, gives him a tight smile, and nibbles on his bottom lip. His eyebrows raise in silent question and Eddie simply nods in response.

“The new principal at my school made me angry today by vetoing my entire lesson plan,” he states calmly. “She had asked for my schedule for the day, which always includes my plans. And I watched her sit at the back of the classroom. With her stupid—“

With his palm, Eddie presses down lightly on Steve’s chest. “Deep breath, Steve,” he commands softly. They avoid using words like stupid when Steve debriefs like this. As soon as his tone goes sharp, his heart rate elevates, the louder his voice gets, the more frustrated he is, and then the whole day crumbles around them.

Another four seconds. Then seven. And eight on the release. Steve asks for permission, Eddie grants it to him.

“She pulled out a ballpoint pen, not a pencil, and marked out things on my plan she didn’t like. Which was most of it,” he relays, “And that made me irritated, not angry. But then a kid asked her what she was doing. So she told this kid the truth.” His hands spasm lightly on his belly as if attempting to bunch his shirt, but he prevents himself from completing the action. “And he said really loudly that the principal was ‘Giving Mr. Harrington a bad grade.’ That shouldn’t embarrass me, but it did. Because—“ He stops to take a deep breath of his own, not even prompted by Eddie.

He smiles to himself as Steve closes his eyes and inhales. Does the whole exercise. And clears his throat to continue.

“—Because it made me feel like I did a bad job. Like I—Like maybe I failed?” He questions rhetorically, searching for the right word. And decides that, yep, that was right. “It made me frustrated that she couldn’t keep that confidential from the student. And it only made me angrier when the kids began to laugh and tease me. I shouldn’t be so—“ He stops himself with another groan.

Palm press. Breath. Exhale. Permission.

“I got so overwhelmed, Eddie,” he admits. Completely shameful. “I didn’t know how to reign them back in, even though I’ve been doing this for nearly ten whole years. There wasn’t any yelling or anything, but she was scolding me with her eyes. Made me feel like—“ And instead of a groan, there’s a sniffle. Small and polite, but there. “—Like I was getting reprimanded by my dad. Which is so humiliating. And I just felt…Small. Like I wasn’t there at all. Wasn’t a teacher. As if I—As if maybe I didn’t deserve to be there today.” And at that, Steve crumbles a little further. Tears sluggishly leaking down his face.

Eddie rubs his thumb over Steve’s chest. He aches. “Oh, baby,” he breathes. “You deserve to be there, Steve. You’ve worked hard for your job. For those kids. I’m sorry she made you feel that way, sweetheart.” He presses lightly once more on Steve’s chest. “Take one more deep breath, alright?”

As Steve does what he’s told, Eddie gently lays his hands on either side of his face. Thumbs wiping away at the tears. He’s surprised that Steve lets him, but then again, today was rough enough. Probably didn’t want to make it harder on himself.

“You know what I think, Steve?” He questions.

Steve hums in response, eyes finding his, big and wet and tired.

“I think she’s very unprofessional,” Eddie states sure. “I think that you did your best with what happened. It’s not your fault that the students acted the way they did. It wasn’t okay of her to tell that student your business. And it definitely should’ve been a conversation she had with you outside of classroom time,” he immediately validates. Because, yeah, this whole situation is bullshit. And you know what? Eddie kind of hates this principal, too. Maybe he has a little bit of a bias, but that doesn’t matter. “She shouldn’t make anybody feel that way. You know what I think you should do? And fair warning, it’s kind of a big scary move.”

“What should I do?” Steve asks, his voice raspy from crying, but calm and curious.

“You need to talk to her boss. Explain to them what you told me. Calmly, by the way. You have to keep your head on your shoulders,” Eddie explains. “But I know that you can. Because you seem a bit better, right?” Steve nods. “Just rung out now, huh?” Again, Steve nods. Sometimes the words are too big for his mouth, the emotions having already been large enough for his chest. “And that’s okay,” Eddie tells him, validating again. “I’ll order in our dinner. Put on a movie. And we can just cuddle. I don’t expect anything more out of you.”

“Okay,” Steve tiredly mutters. He does sound small. Like he’s a teenager all over again, not well into middle age. “Will you help me figure out the words to explain again? Just so I don’t make a fool out of myself?”

“Of course,” Eddie agrees. “But I think we should do that tomorrow after your day, okay? I think today’s been enough of a burden for you.” He runs his palms down the sides of Steve’s neck, over his shoulders, down to his hands and holds him gently. “I’ll grab your pajamas. You get comfy. And remember that I love you. And you’re enough. And you do such a good job at what you do.”

Steve smiles softly at him. “I love you, too,” he whispers. And that, in itself, is enough of a thanks for Eddie.

💕—————💕

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Flufftober Day 19 | We’ll always protect you

Pairing | Fiancé!Steve Rogers x Fiancée!Avenger!Female!Reader

Word count | 1.9K

Summary | It has always been Steve's dream to become a Dad, and suddenly, that opportunity seems closer than he could ever have envisioned. When a little girl is abandoned in front of the Avengers Compound, he can't help but take an immediate liking to her, and he feels the urge to keep her safe no matter what.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, angst: Child abandonment (they’re left at the Compound), mention of infertility, mentions/descriptions of anxiety. Hurt/comfort.

Prompt(s) | 19. Keeping someone safe | @flufftober

A/n | I've been thinking of writing something like this for a while, and I'm happy I've finally got a chance to do it! I hope you will all enjoy this one. Writing was quite a challenge, but I hope I could do this topic at least a bit of justice.

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @cafekitsune | GIF credit to the owner

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

It is a beautiful spring day, and you and your fiancé, Steve, are on a run through New York together. In all fairness, he keeps his pace lower just so he can keep up with you, and he usually runs some more on a treadmill afterward, but the quality time together is always excellent.

"Can we... just for a... I need to stop," you pant as you slow your pace and come to a complete stop shortly after. Steve can't help but smile as he sees your bright red face from running, sweat dripping everywhere, and your hair a whole mess.

And still, despite all that, he can't keep his hands off you as he pulls you close for a much-needed kiss. Who needs air when you have a delicious super soldier who has to touch you constantly?

"It's not fair that I'm all sweaty, and you didn't even get a tinge of color on your cheeks from our run…" you say with a pout, though you're still thankful he wants to come along with you, even if it's just for some company.

He swiftly kisses your pout away with a sweet, tender kiss that has the butterflies in your stomach fly harder than usual.

"I can think of a good way to break a sweat when we're back, though," he says with a glint of mischief, and you already like where this is going.

"We better head back then, right?" you say after taking off, and Steve follows immediately until he matches your pace again. The last 2 miles went by in a blur, and before you know it, you're back at the Compound.

You're about to open the door when Steve suddenly stops, as his super soldier hearing is picking something up. He hears a faint cry somewhere and can't let it go, so he excuses himself.

When he rounds the corner and walks towards the garage of the Compound, the crying gets more significant, and that's when he sees it.

There's a baby wrapped in a thick bundle of blankets with a note tucked between the blankets on their belly, and they're crying uncontrollably. Steve can feel his heart breaking as he crouches to pick them up.

Before you can even ask what's going on, Steve's holding the baby close to his chest while rocking them back and forth slowly.

You gently get the note out of the blankets, and when you read it, your heart shatters into a million pieces. As you fight against the tears, you tell Steve what's on the card, though it's hard to do that and fight against your tears simultaneously.

Please, take good care of her because I can't do it; I'm sorry. She deserves a life I can't provide her, though I hope you can. Her name is Isabella, and she was born on October 12, 2023.

"Steve, she's only a week old! How can someone do this to her?!" you ask as you let the tears flow, and Steve is fighting against them as well, though he tries to be strong for the both of you.

"Let's bring her to Dr. Cho first to check her over, and after, we'll see what we have to do next, okay?" Steve says softly, and little Isabella has calmed down immensely, even falling asleep in Steve's arms.

"I just… I don't fucking get it!" You say as you let your anger take the best of you, and you immediately regret it as you wake up Isabella, who starts wailing.

"Sshhh, it's okay, Babygirl, you're safe with us. We'll always protect you," Steve shushes her, but you can't believe someone would do this to such a perfect human being.

After you've found out that you're infertile, it hits even closer to home, and you have to remove yourself from the situation before you do anything you'll regret later on.

"I- I can't, Steve. You take her, and I'm going to shower," you say without looking at him, knowing that if you do that, you will lash out at him even though none of this is either of your faults.

Steve takes little Isabella to the medbay in the meantime to have her looked over by Dr. Cho, and after some careful examinations, she has been deemed fully healthy, apart from a bit of malnourishment.

"I will give you a list of basics you need to get for her since she obviously won't be breastfeeding, but I also need to contact Child Protective Services, Captain Rogers," Dr. Cho explains, and Steve nods in understanding.

"I get it; I just hope they don't take her away from us. I don't think we'd be able to get through that, especially not with everything she's gone through," Steve says, referencing your infertility.

As it turns out, though, neither of you needed to worry about Isabella being taken away from the two of you.

Today is the last visit of the social worker before they decide if she can stay with the pair of you, and you've been anxious and walking on eggshells around everybody for about a week now.

"Munchkin, can you come here for a few seconds?" Steve asks, but you're too nervous, still pacing the room. You've changed your outfit three times and styled your hair just as many times.

The anxiety is taking over your mind and making Isabella nervous, too, but you haven't noticed that. Steve most definitely has, however, and he can't take it anymore.

"Okay, if you don't want to listen, I'm going to take matters into my own hands," he says as he walks over to you, pulling you into his chest, and you just let yourself melt into his touch as his strong arms hold you close to him.

"We're going to be okay; I know we will be. You heard what the lady said; we have nothing to be worried about because she has never seen two people who are more cut out to be parents than us," Steve says, and you can't help but let the tears flow, your hands fisted the back of his shirt.

"I just- We're so close, Steve! I can't lose her now... She's such a perfect little girl and deserves the life we can provide her. And- and I love her so much, it's like she's my daughter that I brought into this world," you say between sniffles.

"I know, Munchkin, but I have all the faith in the world that she can stay with us," Steve reassures you with lots of kisses. When there's a sudden knock on the door, you get snapped out of it and rush to the bathroom to fix your make-up.

Steve picks up Isabella, who is wearing a white playsuit with red hearts all over it and looks adorable. The social worker is ready to go immediately when he opens the door.

"Come on in; Y/N will be joining us in a few minutes," Steve says, and he offers her a drink, which she happily agrees to.

"Hi, I'm so sorry I wasn't here to greet you!" you say as you sit in front of the social worker, taking Isabella from Steve and giving her a bottle you prepared before walking into the living room.

"She's perfect, isn't she? And that little suit she's wearing makes you fall in love with her instantly," she says with a big smile, and you couldn't agree more.

Steve comes back soon after and sits down next to you, his arm laid over the back of the couch so he can still touch you.

"Well, I suppose I shall start with the good news first. I have had a few meetings with a judge, you two, of course, and one other social worker on this case to see if she can stay with the two of you, and I can officially congratulate the two of you! If you still want to, you can adopt little Isabella," she says, and you look over at Steve, tears streaming down both of your faces.

"Are- Are you sure?" you ask, and after one more confirmation, you let yourself sag against the back of the couch, still mindful of Isabella, who is happily drinking away.

A few weeks later, all three of you are at the courthouse to sign the adoption papers, and from that moment on, you're the proud parents of your little girl, Isabella Rogers.

When all three of you arrive back at the Avengers Compound, you are surprised by a small get-together Tony has planned for Isabella and the fact that you are finally having the family that you have dreamt of.

Everyone is taking their turns to cuddle with Isabella until it is time for her to get a bottle, and this time, Steve has taken to the task, so Tony has pulled you apart for a minute.

"How're you feeling?" Tony asks as you're standing in the kitchen, the get-together still happening in the living room. You're glad Tony is also taking the time to look after you; you love how he is just like your second Dad.

"Relieved, mostly, but I suppose it is also a double feeling. I know, and I'm delighted that she's ours, that she is part of our family now, but it also stings a little bit that she's not biologically mine, you know?" you say with a sigh, tears prickling behind your eyes.

"The one thing I wanted more than anything is to become a Mom, and even though I achieved that goal, it almost feels like I've cheated life or something," you say, and Tony pulls you in for a big hug, letting the tears stream freely.

You don't need him to say anything, and it's as if he can sense it because he holds you close while you let out your tears. Steve has come to check up on you, but once he sees you're with Tony, he kisses your head before returning to the party. He knows you're in good hands.

When you've finally calmed down, Tony says something that warms your heart.

"Listen to me, okay? You're the best mother Isabella could have ever wished for, and this is the universe's way of telling you that you should have been her Mom all along. She was born to end up with the two of you, and there's nowhere else she should be right now," he says, his hand placed on your cheek, his thumb rubbing reassuringly over your cheekbone.

"Thank you so much, Tony. It means the world to hear you say that. And thank you for being by our sides through everything; I will never be able to repay you for everything you did but know that I am deeply thankful for you, and I love you more than you'll ever know," you say, and after one more big hug, you two go back to the party.

"I love you, Steve, and I'm happy that our little family is finally complete," you say before giving him a soft, slow kiss that takes your breath away.

"I have to say, I know life has its ways for everything, but I can't say I would have wanted our family to get together any other way," he says before pulling you into his side.

You look at Tony cooing at the little girl, and he looks up at you to give you one more wink, which warms your heart. You would do it all over again if it meant that you would get to live your dream, and it felt like your heart was overflowing.

"I love you, Munchkin," Steve whispers, and you let a big smile escape your lips. You can't stop looking at your daughter; your heart is filled with love.

[synthsamuri]

Fanfics of the Year

As holidays roll around, I thought it'd be fun to throw out some of my favorite 19 day fics from this year! I've never done a fic recommendation post before, can you believe!? Reblog or comment and throw out some of your faves too! I'd love to see them and share their work around! 1. unstoppable force // immovable object by welcome2atlantis How is this both angsty and so funny at all once. Truly a work of art and I love the dynamic between He Tian and Mo in this one. The character growth is immaculate. 2. Open the door (it'll make you feel better) by Anonymous

Wow, the writing in this is seriously top notch work. I felt immediately drawn in to these vivid feelings between characters. I also feel like this author brings out an interesting dynamic between Zhan Zhengxi and Mo in particular that I really found myself enjoying.

3. desecration by Fayre

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention this one. Fayre is such talanted writer and if you haven't read their other works, do yourself a favor and dive in. This fic though! My emotions can barely handle it, and I love it.

4. Bites by Asfodel

Another one I have to mention and another writer I recommend. This one had some surprisingly soft moments that nearly made me cry. It just feels so intimate.

5. Devil's On Your Shoulder (Strangers In Your Head) by ineffablefluff

As a big fantasy lover I have to mention this one. This writer creates a scene and drags you in. It's adventurous, bold, and heart wrenching.

6. The Edger by Elaine (LumCheng), rainy19days

A really fun format going back and forth between writers and characters. This is one of the more recent ones I've been reading and its sexy, funny, romantic, and just incredibly enjoyable.

7. fever dream by figglypudding

I could honestly put several on this list from this writer. I love a good sick fic, and thats exactly what this is.

8. get what you get by powerandpathos

This one is one chapter and every word is perfection. I would honestly take a whole series of this. It was written so well and the emotions are handled so well.

9. My Shelter by Mrs_Tears

Mo goes through some serious trauma and finds comfort in He Tian. What else is there to say? It's perfect!

I could honestly add so many more. Truly grateful to have such great writers in this fandom!

[faynthearted]

“So?” Jian Yi asked, twirling a spatula. He stood at the edge of the table, shoulders pulled back with pride. Early morning sunlight from the kitchen window stained his hair orange; his grin was just as bright. “How’s it taste?”

The other three looked down at their plates, chewing slowly on their first bites of pancake.

“Mushy,” Guan Shan said, grimacing.

“Doughy,” Zheng Xi said, frowning.

“Better than what I would’ve made,” He Tian said, shrugging.

Jian Yi turned gloomy. “Great. Thanks, guys. You know, I made these out of the kindness of my heart. That took a lot of effort.”

“It didn’t have to,” Guan Shan said, standing from his seat. “I told you I could’ve made it instead. And clearly, I should’ve."

* * *

desecration (ch9) is now posted on AO3!

[onlinegirloo]

Me and the girls waiting patiently for old xians holiday special chapter

[nightfayre]

by the time he was ten, guan shan had learned how to keep his mouth shut. he’d learned that the truth of the world was that there were just some things that he wasn’t allowed to have, no matter how badly he wanted them. there were toys he couldn’t have because bills were due tomorrow; meals he couldn’t have because groceries were too expensive; video games he couldn’t have because his grades were poor; fathers he couldn’t have because the courts said so.

so instead of telling himself he couldn’t have these things — which implied he didn’t have control — guan shan instead told himself he didn’t want the things to begin with.

no, he didn’t want the guitar. no, he didn’t want to go to college. no, he didn’t want this group of stupid friends. no, he didn’t want to eat something new after heating leftovers for five days straight.

(no, he didn’t want he tian.)

and guan shan considered himself a good liar in this regard. he’d fooled his own mother for long enough, at least. what’s one more victim? the victim being himself, of course. what’s the harm in sparing himself the heartache, the yearning, the loss of what could’ve been?

(no, he didn’t want he tian.)

everyone always fell for it, and that’s exactly how guan shan liked it. he liked having the control again. he liked being the only one in charge of his emotions, his expectations. it made for good damage control, and it made it look like he always got what he wanted, even if the things he wanted came few and far between.

(and no, he didn’t want he tian.)

but whatever. it didn’t matter to him that no one could see through it. until someone could. until he started receiving gifts for no apparent reason, and started participating in study sessions that were completely one-sided. he couldn’t understand why he tian liked to leave so many stupid notes and drawings in his wake, torn notebook pages fluttering out of his pockets and into guan shan’s lap like messages in a bottle washing up on shore. he certainly didn’t understand why he tian would go this far in dealing with she li, someone that guan shan wanted needed gone.

(still, he didn’t want he tian.)

but then he saw the way his mom looked when she opened the door to them. he saw the look of horror on her face when she realized his injuries extended beyond the norm, white bandages wrapped around his neck like a collar. normally when she got that worked up, she liked to speak to guan shan in private to try to pull the truth out of him. but then she saw he tian at his side and she paused. she swallowed and stepped to the side to let them both in. if guan shan didn’t know better, he’d have thought that she knew guan shan wanted he tian there—

(wait, no, no, he didn’t want he tian.)

and so there they sat at the kitchen table, awkward silence over the three of them. the soup smelled okay. it was the same leftover soup guan shan and his mom had been eating for the past few days. guan shan didn’t want it; he didn’t think it was anything special. but at least it was something warm. and then he tian had looked at him.

“this is delicious,” he said, bandaged hand cradling the bowl. “really.”

and suddenly the soup was delicious. it was something special, something to be revered. it was the most amazing meal guan shan ever had. still, guan shan didn’t want it. no, the soup was completely and utterly forgotten.

instead, he wanted—

he wanted—

he grabbed he tian, bowls forgotten, their chairs screeching against the flooring as they stood. guan shan didn’t look back to see his mom’s reaction. he just pulled he tian into his bedroom and turned and looked at him and said, “he tian,” because everything else was too wordy and too heavy and too delicate to say out loud when he could just sum it all up in his name, oh his name, spoken quietly and with vulnerability, because guan shan wanted—

he wanted—

he tian knew what he wanted. he always had. he came into his breathing space; took his hand. didn’t flinch when guan shan’s cold, trembling hand came to his nape. guan shan didn’t know what he was doing. he was only mimicking what had once been done to him, that awful night in the alleyway, something that has replayed behind his eyelids again and again ever since. he felt the weight of he tian’s hands on his back, pulling him close, and there was no doubt in guan shan’s mind that he tian wanted him. and instead of being embarrassed, guan shan envied him for it. for being able to want something so openly and fearlessly. for being able to accept the potential for its leaving, its abandonment, and still seizing it while he had the opportunity. guan shan had long forgotten what it felt like to be bold like that. holding he tian’s gaze, he thought maybe he should try again.

so he kissed him — then pulled back. just enough to see his face. to see if he was still there.

he was.

guan shan wanted more.

so he kissed him again. and again. and again and again and he tian pressed him sweetly into the curtains, following his lead, never pushing his luck. guan shan always thought he’d be self-conscious about a number of things during his first real kiss, but the reality was that he could think of nothing at all except he tian and how much he wanted him. and he was addicted to thinking it, now: how much he wanted. he wanted and wanted and wanted. and he felt okay with wanting, because he tian was still here. he was still here and he still tasted like his mom’s newly-amazing soup. it was a pleasant thing to want.

there was a knock at the closed door. they pulled apart.

“shan? everything okay?”

guan shan was breathing a bit heavy and his pulse was racing but so was he tian’s from where guan shan still held him. he swallowed and said, “yeah, sorry, i just had to show he tian something. we’ll come back out in a sec.”

“okay... mom just wanted to make sure.”

footsteps receded; he tian brushed his thumbpad along guan shan’s cheek. the bandaging tickled his skin.

“this is more than i ever could’ve wanted,” he whispered.

and for once, guan shan allowed himself to agree.

[rainy19days]

He Tian's heart stops for a second when Guanshan picks up and he can hear his voice. It's quiet and hushed - for a moment He Tian forgot that Guanshan isn't living alone and probably has to be quiet in the evening.

"Sorry, I'll be quick—", he starts and mentally kicks himself for not considering that. "I… are you mad at me? I shouldn't have said what I said, I guess, my damn brain has no filter, ugh."

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat.

"I just… I don't want you to be angry again and… Uhm… don't be angry, please? I promise I'll be more careful with what I say in the future."

The Edger, chapter 16 by @rainy19days and @elaine19day