2023 writing self evaluation
I was tagged by the lovely @neondiamond, thank you!! I was also almost tagged by @lululawrence who texted me but I was already asleep lol.
1. List of works published this year:
In order of posting, these are the 17 fics I published:
April:
saw some things on the other side [61K, Larry, written for @onedirectionbigbang]
May:
(now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me [3,5K, written for @faithinthefutureficfest]
let's get naked and explore (our inner secrets) [8K, Zouis, written for @wankersday]
June:
the missing piece that makes me fit [17K, Zouiam, written for @zouisfics]
we will get another day (to begin again) [1,8K, Ziam]
July:
rain makes the flowers grow [1,1K, Larry, ficlet friday]
a life that's lived without you [1,1K, Ziam, ficlet friday]
August:
and there's no one to blame [1,8K, Larry, ficlet friday]
You don't have to say "I love you", to say I love you [1,5K, ficlet friday]
I'm falling again [2,2K, Larry, ficlet friday]
like a moth into a flame [5,4K, Zouis, written for @wordplayfics]
September:
I'll Run (Run to You) [1,1K, Larry, written for @wordplayfics]
like a bridge over troubled water (I will lay me down) [6,4K, written for @wordplayfics]
(don't you ever) hope for something else [5,4K, Ziam, written for @wordplayfics)
you try to stop it tumbling (but on and on it goes) [2,7K, Lirry, written for @wordplayfics]
October:
when love gets involved [666, Larry, written for @1dtrickortreatfest]
find a way (to send me a sign) [666, Larry, written for @1dtrickortreatfest]
December:
Santa Baby (one little thing I really need) [3K, Larry, written for @parmahamlarrie for the @1dcreatorclubhouse holiday exchange]
In total, including works that I haven't published yet, I've written 129.843 words in 2023.
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
I always really struggle with my Big Bang, and this year was no different. There was a lot of math involved, and a lot of schedules to make sure that the time travel all worked and the dates were accurate. I am really proud of how it turned out though, and the art (by the wonderful @monpetithl) is absolutely stunning.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
I suppose by default I'm 'least proud' of some fics, since I'm more proud of others, but in general, I'm very proud of everything I published this year.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
This is from (now I realize that the world outside) it's bigger than me
His throat feels dry and his face looks flushed, and there’s a moment where he contemplates dunking his head under the tap, but he doesn’t want to keep the fans waiting, even if he knows that his band is excellent at keeping the crowd entertained.
Or at least, they usually are. But right now, heading through the hallway back to the stage, all he can hear is silence.
Louis feels his heartbeat kick up a notch, and even though he knows that it’s ridiculous and highly implausible, there’s a brief moment where he wonders if everyone has just up and left. Maybe they’ve had enough. Maybe they only came here to see if he was willing to confirm the rumours, and now that he hasn’t, they’re leaving.
His palms are sweating, making him wipe them on his jeans, and it’s only when the band starts playing the intro to Bigger Than Me that they had come up with for the tour that Louis has the courage to step back onto the stage.
He has just opened his mouth for the first line – when somebody told me I would change – when it sinks in what he’s looking at.
Where the crowd is usually colourful, little rainbow flags showing up throughout the songs, or being held up en masse during a fan project for Only the Brave, it’s almost muted now, blacks and whites and greys.
And purple.
It is a sea of flags. A sea of ace flags.
Louis is vaguely aware that the band has started the intro for the third time. He can hear the cheers, the chants, can see the banners that are being held up by people on the balcony. We love you Louis, they read. We need you and you’ve got us.
His blood is rushing through his ears and he’s pretty sure he’s about two seconds from crying, and there is no way in hell that he’s going to be able to sing this song right now. It’s not even because it’s one of the harder songs in his set and he can feel his throat closing up. But he feels like he needs to acknowledge this. Because while he might not acknowledge it in the press, might play coy, these are his fans. These are the people that get him. The people that understand and support and love him, and they’re right. He’s got them. No matter what else, he’s got these people in his corner.
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
So my favourite review wasn't actually written. It was a friend of mine, at the concert in Paris, locking eyes with me during Bigger Than Me, and the two of us sharing a moment because we knew.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
Honestly, a lot of the year. I've written on something every month, but I've had months where I barely made 5K, if that. I've also had periods where my health was just utterly shit, and periods where I was too busy (like in November, which I mostly spent hanging out with the amazing @chaotic-bells)
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
Well, it is written but not published, but something happened in my Big Bang for 2024 where I was like "really?? this is what you're going with??" and I guess you'll have to find that moment in my fic when it posts.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I'm honestly not sure I did, though I feel like I wrote a lot more short fics this year, so I suppose in that regard I grew by being able to write shorter things.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I mostly just hope to continue being able to write, continue loving writing, because for a while this year I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue being a writer in this fandom. But I got lovingly told that there was no way I wasn't doing the Big Bang next year, and then I got matched up with an amazing artist (hiii @whatagreatproblemtohave!) so that definitely helped in getting my mojo back.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
I had wonderful guidance in the form of @londonfoginacup who told me a) you are not dropping out of the big bang and b) how about you rewrite the fic in Zayn's perspective, which has helped A LOT. I've also had an absolutely wonderful friend in @beardyboyzx who has read through a lot of my fics, has offered advice, a sounding board, and anything I could ask for. My beta, as always, is the wonderful @foullovehideout who is just the best person I could ask for. I had such a wonderful time seeing them again this year too.
And then there's the people that I've written with! Most notably, @jacaranda-bloom who is my standard writing buddy, though we've not been able to write together as often as last year, she's still helped me stay committed to my writing and I wouldn't have been able to publish as many fics if it weren't for our sprints.
Lastly, there's the beautiful people from the @1dcreatorclubhouse who have been just wonderful and a great source of joy and comfort.
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
Honestly it always does. Mostly this year in the aro/ace characters, because they are me and I am them.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
I don't think it's new, really, but a) write what you want to write and b) don't forget that writing is a muscle, it needs to be trained just like anything else. You can't expect the same ease that you felt while writing daily when you end up not having been able to write for a while. Give yourself grace, and above all, believe in yourself and the stories you want to tell. They'll be loved by so many people!
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
Definitely my Big Bang for 2024. It's a struggle and really outside of my wheelhouse, but I'm excited to see where it ends up going. I am also super intrigued by the possible 1daroacefest that @red-pandaaa was running a poll for (you can vote here) so depending on when it runs I definitely want to participate. And I'm thinking I might dabble in some F1 fic next year!
14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)
I am going to tag the wonderful @beardyboyzx because I need to read their answers. And I am tagging @voulezloux and @reminiscingintherain too!
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