#2021's grief over him was REAL

[vanilla-blessing]

Record of Lodoss War - Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth -: Legacies

Record of Lodoss War - Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth - is an action role-playing game developed by Team Ladybug and released in 2021. Based on the Record of Lodoss War franchise and written by series creator Ryo Mizuno, Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth is a prequel to 2019’s Diadem of the Covenant, the first new Record of Lodoss War novel released in over a decade. The game tells the story of Deedlit, a high elf who finds herself lost in a mysterious labyrinth, forced to relive her past adventures as she tries to uncover the truth behind her predicament. Despite its place in the greater arc of the Record of Lodoss War franchise, many reviews dismissed its plot, describing it as an inessential part of the game due to its brevity and self-referential nature. However, Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth explicitly calls back to earlier Record of Lodoss War stories in order to speak to the nature of legacy. Ryo Mizuno uses Deedlit’s nostalgic journey in order to tell a personal narrative about how stories and people affect others, and how they carry that influence with them throughout the rest of their lives. It also allows Mizuno to reflect on how Record of Lodoss War has influenced the landscape of Japanese fantasy media through its characters and tropes for over three decades. Although its writing is sparse, Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth has something beautiful to say within its narrative about the nature of life and remembrance, and to ignore the story does a disservice to the work as a whole.

“So it was just me who didn’t want to know. The end of the tale of Parn, Knight of Lodoss…”

As the story begins, Deedlit wakes up trapped inside a strange labyrinth, with no memory of how she arrived. As she begins to explore the new environment, she catches a glimpse of Parn, one of her old adventuring partners and her one true love. Deedlit chases after him, carefully navigating through twisting and dangerous areas within the winding maze but seemingly unable to catch up to him. During her journey, Deedlit encounters the rest of her old adventuring party, along with many of their former enemies. Though initially shocked to find herself facing off against familiar foes, Deedlit decides not to question the situation, instead appreciating the opportunity to once again relive her previous journeys alongside her friends.

However, as the story escalates and Deedlit closes in on the heart of the labyrinth, she recovers a repressed memory and begins to piece together the true nature of her imprisonment. As a high elf, her connection to the spirit world grants her immortality, but it comes at a cost as her friends begin to slowly pass away around her. After Parn, her last remaining companion, dies, Deedlit is overcome with loneliness and grief. In that moment, she wishes that she could forget the pain of losing Parn and travel with him one last time. Deedlit realizes now that the world before her is a projection of her memories, and that her wish has trapped her in the past to stop her from remembering the truth. She finally catches up to Parn at the center of the maze, who tells her they can now be together forever in her world. Deedlit is forced to decide whether she will surrender her soul and continue to live inside her memories alongside Parn and the rest of her friends, or if she will return to the real world and face the future on her own. Ultimately, she comes to the understanding that death is not the end for her companions, and she must let go of the past in order to move forward. Although her friends may no longer be with her in body, they continue to live on in spirit through her memories, and she will carry them forever in her heart. With this new resolve, Deedlit kills the projection of Parn and makes peace with his death, freeing herself from the labyrinth and her grief.

Deedlit reawakens back in her home, unsure if her journey has simply been a dream or something more tangible. As she steps out of her house, she is greeted by Leaf, another elf and friend from her village. Many years have passed since Deedlit entered isolation following Parn’s death, and she has come to check in on her. As Deedlit begins to recount her experiences in the labyrinth, she is cut short by Leaf, who believes she is simply retelling the stories of her original adventures. Leaf notes that no one has forgotten the tale of Parn and Deedlit, or the effect that they had on the world. Thinking further on their legacy, she then suggests Deedlit make a song about her journeys, so that people can pass it on through the generations and keep their story alive forever. Deedlit thinks this is a good idea, and Leaf runs off to fetch ink and parchment. Alone once again, Deedlit considers what Leaf said, and wonders if she was the only one afraid to see Parn’s story come to a close. With this in mind, she prepares to start the next chapter in her life, bidding a final farewell to Parn with the promise to sing his song.

“People do not live in the past. Knowing this, she can walk forward.”

Death in media is so often portrayed as a tragedy, but Ryo Mizuno is able to find a positive sentiment in it through Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth. By setting the game 100 years after the original Record of Lodoss War novels, Mizuno creates a version of Lodoss steeped in legacy, and one that Deedlit must learn to make peace with. Her journey through the Wonder Labyrinth is a projection of her memories, where she must tackle the fear of being alone. But by navigating through the complex emotions surrounding death, Deedlit comes to realize that her friends’ lives do not truly end when they pass away, and continue to live on within her. While it is sad to lose her companions, their passing does not change how much they have touched her life. The world around her has changed as well thanks to their adventures, and the result of their efforts can be seen throughout Lodoss in the longstanding peace the island has enjoyed. This new understanding of her friends’ legacies inspires Deedlit to find new ways to share her memories with the world and show how much her companions have given her. The same is true of everyone; the moments that people share with those they meet throughout life, both big and small, can have an effect on how they see the world. Everyone carries within themselves pieces of those who have had an impact on their lives, and that will not change even as those people pass away. They create their own personal legacies that are continued on through those close to them, who then inspire others to repeat this process. Deedlit’s tale is tied up in complicated feelings about grief and loss, and delivers an ultimately hopeful message about life and how people honor the memories of those they hold dear.

Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth’s story is not just a personal narrative, but also a way for Ryo Mizuno to reflect upon Record of Lodoss War’s legacy as a piece of media. Much how Parn and Deedlit’s adventures shaped the world of Lodoss, Record of Lodoss War has defined the high fantasy genre in Japan. While the franchise originated as a collection of Dungeons & Dragons campaign transcripts in a computer magazine, its popularity inspired Mizuno to turn the party’s adventures into a collection of light novels. Record of Lodoss War was one of the earliest pieces of Japanese pop culture to take such heavy inspiration from Western high fantasy like Lord of the Rings, and quickly became the template for the genre at large. Popular fantasy series that followed Record of Lodoss War, such as Fire Emblem and Slayers, would take inspiration from its general character and setting designs. But many of the franchise’s individual characters had a specific impact on the genre as well. In a 2018 interview with Japanese website DenFamiNicoGamer, Yutaka Izubuchi, illustrator for many of the original Record of Lodoss War novels, and Shigenori Soejima, character designer and art director for the Persona series, sat down to discuss the art of the fantasy genre. Soejima notes that many people of his generation, when asked about fantasy races like elves or dwarves, immediately think of the Record of Lodoss War cast as a reference. In particular, Izubuchi’s use of exaggeratedly elongated ears has been a constant reference for elven characters throughout Japanese media, and specific details of Deedlit’s appearance such as her green armor and blonde hair have informed numerous elf designs across anime and manga history. Record of Lodoss War is a franchise that has shaped Japanese high fantasy for over 30 years, and while it may no longer be the specific point of reference for modern authors, the series’ impact on the genre is apparent. Much like how Deedlit learns to look back fondly on the time she spent adventuring with her friends and the ways the world has changed since, Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth reads like a nostalgic reflection on the history of the Record of Lodoss War franchise, an opportunity for one more journey with the original cast before beginning a new story in Lodoss.

Center: Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War Left side, from top to bottom: Arshes Nei from Bastard!!, Puck from Berserk, Mare Bello Fiore from Overlord Right side, from top to bottom: Maricelle from Delicious in Dungeon, Leafa from Sword Art Online, Lapis from Detatoko Princess

“The tale of Parn, knight of Lodoss, and the Lady Deedlit… Nobody has forgotten that.”

Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth feels like Ryo Mizuno’s way of communicating why he felt inspired to write a new Record of Lodoss War novel. The narrative speaks to the lasting influence of its franchise, and explores this by placing Deedlit far into the future, where her adventures with Parn are now history. She struggles to accept Parn’s death and the changing world around her, but comes to understand the magnitude of his impact on both herself and the rest of the world. Parn’s unwavering resolve in the face of adversity provides him a second life, inspiring others to follow in his footsteps and share his goodness with those close to them. This sentiment goes beyond the narrative and speaks to the way in which people communicate with each other. The choices people make when engaging with others will last far longer than they will, and it is important to leave behind something positive for others to remember and carry with them. Mizuno also uses his story to examine the continued relevance of his work, and how it fits into a larger canon of media history. As Deedlit sees the effects her adventures have had on the world at large, so too does Mizuno reflect on the impression his stories have left on other franchises over 30 years. Record of Lodoss War started humbly as a feature column in a computer magazine, but its characters and worldbuilding continue to define Japanese fantasy tropes to this day. Each level of Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth’s narrative speaks to the way in which legacies manifest, and culminates in a very human story that stands on its own.

“This tale shall continue to be spun…”

-ChorpSaway

[ruiniel]

Prickly thorns, tender roses

Fandom: Castlevania series (2017-2021)

Rating: Mature🔞

Relationship: Alucard/Original Female Character

Characters: Alucard, Original Character(s)

Summary:

Set after the events of Castlevania (Netflix) Season III. After the betrayal of his young apprentices, Alucard feels barely alive in his lonesome castle. Days wear on, chipping away at his mind and sanity. And what is the son of Dracula to do with this unwanted visitor, suddenly come at his doorstep? Often the prickly thorn produces tender roses - Ovid

Chapter tags & warnings: Dark Romanticism, Inspired by Castlevania, Angst, personal interpretation of post-season III Alucard, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Castlevania Season III, Illness, OC has 0 special powers, Apart from nerve

VI. Both halves of you

"... It's your home ..."

Crimson and black flooded his vision, whirled and turned, taking the shape of his father. Bloodshot eyes regarded him with grief and barely achieved recognition.

The stake thrust deeper, through sinew and bone and flesh; crazed blood sluiced in dark torrents over his hands.

"Father!" He folded in on himself, the howling gusts burning his face, rising and wailing through the castle, scattering to nothingness. They caressed his skin, dried his tears with hot ash.

They stood before him, holding one another as he remembered them: a family. Laughter, and the absence of guilt.

He sank to his knees, his head in his hands, his words stammered and heart heavy. "Forgive me..."

The shadows stayed silent, watching him beg and reach for them as a small child would. As all times before, the stern eyes of his parents left him, and the specters turned away, facing the great red moon. Blood drowned the land. Blood drenched his hands as he stared at them in horror, and the moon burst into flames.

"Both halves of you, Alucard," a distinct voice cut through the gloom.

"Kinslayer!" Whispers reached from every corner, every chamber, every abandoned corridor.

When his eyes snapped open he was panting, his sight falling on the dying embers of the fire. The dhampir placed a hand to his eyes in an attempt to regain his breathing. The nightmares came nearly every night, and there was no respite from them. As such, the son of the late Dracula rarely slept in the true sense, the guilt and grief much more vivid, so much heavier in these nightly planes of thought. But this time he had, apparently, given in to sleep quite unexpectedly, as he was still reclined in the armchair of his father's former study.

Turning his head from the fireplace he blinked to see the woman, the woman he had forgotten about completely. She was standing beside his armchair. Her hair was mussed and tangled, her face pale and gaunt and her lips were dry and chapped. She had bundled herself into the throw he had given her, and fevered eyes regarded him in bright blue. An icy blue, he decided.

"Where is more water?" Ravenna asked weakly.

Of course, humans. "You are on your feet," he remarked.

She coughed then, so harshly it robbed her balance, and Ravenna leaned with one palm against the fireplace. He merely followed with his gaze, his mind still struggling to free itself from the shackles of his nightmare. So real. His father always appeared so real before him. It was a good minute before the coughing ceased.

"Can you walk now?" Alucard asked when his own breathing simmered, and he felt properly anchored in reality.

Ravenna nodded, her limbs shaking lightly in a new tremor.

He sighed, looking to the bundle of frailty as she waited for his direction. She may also be hungry. The dhampir briefly wondered why this burden was set before him. What cruel design of fate was it to leave a weakened human at his gates, and not even one he could easily dismiss, at that? Torturing and maltreating one weaker was wrong, that he knew. It had been instilled in him since childhood. But... Tired. He was so tired. "Follow me," he urged after a while, rising from the armchair.

The morning found the dhampir and his unusual charge trudging through the castle, Ravenna too weak and thirsty to focus on any details which at one point may have caught her interest.

Come, Ravenna, one step after another. The woman tried, but soon her legs wobbled and her knees buckled. She looked to the wall for support, slowly sinking to the ground.

He turned and stared, crossing his arms. When she ceased coughing Alucard saw the woman watching him with a near apologetic expression. He sighed heavily before reaching for her and they were on the move again, with Ravenna once again held fast in his arms.

"I am sorry," she mumbled, curling in on herself.

Alucard said nothing, but displeasure radiated from him in tangible waves.

And there it was, the curious sound of a heartbeat again. Ravenna closed her eyes to it.

He took her through wide arches and passageways until they reached another chamber, where daylight sieved through large barred windows. Ravenna focused enough to observe it was a kitchen of sorts. Did vampires need kitchens? Then a worrisome thought struck her. Would she be food? Did he plan to... drink, from her? Was this the reason for his aid, to have a healthy source of sustenance? Her agitation increased significantly as her host placed her on a chair at a large wooden table.

Ravenna looked about the space, noticing the chequered tiles on the floor. Her gaze swept over the wide, rectangular stove constructed of dark metal. There were pots and pans hanging from the walls, and other cooking utensils. Sturdy shelves also lined the walls, bearing bottles and containers of different shapes and sizes. Ravenna narrowed her eyes at a few glass jars which seemed to contain spices, judging by their inscription. It all spoke of wealth, but also of emptiness. Too large a kitchen for one denizen living alone. Might be he once had servants? She could not imagine that either. It all rekindled the same sensation she had garnered coming from him and the rest of this castle — slow decay. Her attention was drawn by his movement as Adrian took two high pitchers from a wooden cupboard, and went to a corner where two large buckets were placed. They were filled with water, and he poured the same into the pitchers.

Her eyes went wide. She was so thirsty she would faint. When he placed the pitchers onto the table, Ravenna took one with both hands and drank. She drank hungrily and messily, nearly emptying the glass container. When done, she wiped her mouth and chin with her sleeve, meeting his eyes. The stranger had been watching her with an unreadable expression. Ravenna began coughing again.

"I assume hunger grates?" he asked, now turned with his back to her.

Hunger. She was empty, and all the more weakened for it. It had been days. But then the fears from before resurfaced. Still, Ravenna had never encountered his kind before, perhaps there were differences among them? If he walked the day, maybe his tastes were different also? A silly, meager hope.

"Do you plan to keep me as human livestock?" she blurted. "Is... is that the true reason for your aid?'

Ravenna saw him go rigid. He turned to face her, spreading his palms flat against the counter he leaned on. A mirthless grin spread over that irksome, youthful face. Ice-blue eyes narrowed into golden ones. He was going to mock her again.

But then the grin faded, and his face gained a thoughtful mien as he spoke. "I have no such compulsion."

Ravenna raised an eyebrow. "Then how do you... " feed was the term coming to mind, but she let it trail away.

He offered no answer to her unfinished question, but turned back to the counter, rummaging through one of the suspended cabinets.

As he did so, the woman watched him. His movement was elegant and contained, his tall frame straight and almost... noble, if she were to guess. But then again, this one did not shy away from impaling people before his home, and her fears returned.

The one she knew as Adrian now neared her and a bowl was placed onto the table. He took his own seat not too far, one arm draped lazily over the back of his chair. Ravenna regarded the contents warily, and surmised with surprise that they were actually edible. She saw walnuts, chestnuts, hazelnuts, dried berries. All typical sources of nourishment one collected in the woods. As she eyed the bowl with a frown, a pale hand reached and took of the contents. Her mouth fell open at the way he was nonchalantly chewing the human food.

"What kind of vampire are you?" the young woman asked, hesitantly reaching for the food herself to appease a sudden and ravenous hunger.

He leaned back against the chair, so casually she thought, as though the blight had not been keeping her in chains not too long ago.

After a few uncomfortable moments of staring at each other, during which none seemed inclined to submit by averting their gaze, he looked away.

"My mother is human, my father vampire kind."

As her mind caught up to his words, immediately a flurry of new questions brimmed. She bit them down. Ravenna let her forehead fall heavily onto the table, breathing raggedly. "Is that even possible?" she asked either way.

"You see the proof of it before you."

His air of superiority grated. "So that is the reason daylight has no effect on you," Ravenna rasped.

"Indeed."

"And you do not... feed on blood?"

He rolled his eyes. "The taste does nothing for me."

Well, that was partly reassuring, she thought. But with his vitriolic and no less conflicting words and actions, the young woman could yet be certain or allow herself to feel safe. It felt as though this place was not designed for safety and warmth. This place was set to be forgotten. A tomb. His?...

"You live here by yourself?" She slowly raised her head.

He was staring into nothingness, his arms crossed, his jaw tensed. "I assume you cannot walk on your way back," he said, ignoring her question.

Ravenna quirked an eyebrow but lowered her chin with a tired shake of the head. It was freezing here.

With an utterly dour and defeated air about him, Alucard rose to stand and took the remaining pitcher of water, placing it in her hands. He then lifted her to him again and they headed back to the study in silence.

Ravenna had questions. Myriads of them, but his stone-cold aversion to conversations spanning across more than two sentences was a hard wall to get past. It was no matter. She had to regain her health and escape. Or if he allowed her to leave during one of his strange moments of clarity, that would be an even better turn.

She was placed back onto the divan when they reached the room. Ravenna took more of the willow bark to chew on, watching as the dhampir retrieved pieces of wood and threw them in the hearth to kindle the fire.

"Who is the woman?"

"What?" he paused and turned to meet her eyes.

"The woman in the painting," Ravenna pointed to said object, raising a thin finger.

His gaze also went to the painting, and Ravenna sensed the crushing grief again, surrounding him, pressing heavily over the room in endless iterations.

"My mother," he replied, as though the words were leaden in his mouth. He thoughtfully returned to his task without a glance her way.

"Your human mother," Ravenna pondered, and then without thought added, "She was beautiful." Now she could place the similarities.

"For all the good it did her," Adrian groused as he worked.

Ravenna brought her knees closer to her chest, lying on her side. "I never knew my parents."

The hissing of newly kindled flames filled the room.

"Is she, gone?" Ravenna dared after a while. The half-vampire had not answered her question on whether or not he was the sole inhabitant of the castle. She could not imagine dwelling in this place. It had an air of subverted demise and utter abandonment.

"Yes, Ravenna, she is gone," came his reply, visibly exasperated with her incessant queries. He rose to stand as Ravenna followed him with her gaze.

"Adrian," she mouthed.

He stilled, the word so unusual coming from someone else. He had not heard it in so long a time. "Yes?"

"You said my name." The woman closed her eyes.

The sun shimmered in careless beams through the barred windows. The dhampir appeared to renounce a previous thought, instead choosing to recline back in his armchair. "I suppose I did."

He heard the ragged, regular breathing that told him Ravenna had already fallen asleep.

NEXT

[pandoraimperatrix]

I posted 218 times in 2022

That's 5 more posts than 2021!

82 posts created (38%)

136 posts reblogged (62%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pandoraimperatrix

@ambeauty

@escapism-through-imagination

@braxiatel

@doumekiss

I tagged 120 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#dickkory - 48 posts

#ww - 43 posts

#my fic - 41 posts

#dick grayson - 39 posts

#nightwing - 38 posts

#starfire - 37 posts

#koriand'r - 37 posts

#kory anders - 34 posts

#wandering worlds - 32 posts

#richard grayson - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#that one time i wrote about dick being so obsessed with kory that not even fucking babs was able to distract him lmao

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

DickKory | Core Four Centric | Cannon Divergence | Longfic

Summary:

Dick Grayson is dead. His life taken by his own brother. The Abel to Jason’s Cain. Consumed by grief, Rachel gives in to despair, losing control, a portal opens, but from it no destroyer of words come through. Instead a man who looks just like him, how can he be?

---------------

*90's infomencial voice* Tired of Dick Grayson getting no character growth every season? Can stand the lack of development? The fact that we barely got any DickKory content since season one? I have just what you need! *normal voice* Okay, so in this fic Dick died, and Rachel pulled an alternative version of him from a dying universe, a version of him that will not take his family, Kory and his life for granted, he's not perfect, but he's doing his best.

————————————–

Chapter Fifteen – They shine

Dick held his breath in as much as he could stand, trying to keep Koriand’r’s perfume inside his lungs until they burned, desperate for air. Desperate for change just as the whole world – worlds? – thrived for.

It was only natural, going forward. He was the only fool wishing he could stop time and don’t progress over the moment she was so close and both of them could pretend it was their right to have each other. Her hand in his hand, her body against his body, the way she just trusted him and let him lead her across the dance floor. The way she gasped as the song took a faster tempo and he swirled her, her dress flaring like a blooming flower only for her to return to him, bringing that smile that took her entire face.

Or even, rewind time further behind. To the instant when he had the comforting warmth of her thigh brushing against his back, her soft voice generously offering factoids about her life in Tamaran, sadness almost successfully hidden, accenting the sweet of the moment. Her fingers danced in his hair and scalp while she braided and Dick found himself between the urge to restrain the bodily answer to something that shouldn’t feel as sensual as it felt or just melt like butter between her fingers. And if only he turned around, he would be able to hold her. Would she let him? Should she?

READ ON AO3

He had barely noticed that her golden glow was real instead of part of the illusion of paradise. Not when everything else about her was already heavenly.

“Are you alright?”

Dick finally let new air in, massaging his chest, the last glint of Koriand’r’s golden glow was gone as she disappeared with Selina to somewhere outside.

“I’m fine.”

And when Dick finally managed to turn his eyes away from the doorway to Bruce, the old man had an uncharacteristic soft expression.

Dick let him wordlessly lead both of them to a secluded room, an office. Community Centre was of course, how Bruce was choosing to call what was a reformed manor his family had in Metropolis since before Bruce’s parents had been even born. Dick remembered coming there when he was a child once, but the place was old and uncomfortable. In the few times Bruce had taken him for a trip they had chosen to use a smaller apartment in the new part of the city instead of going through the trouble of staying at a house not currently being inhabited just to keep an illusion of grandeur. His memories of those trips were free from Gargoyles and rain and full of walks on the cobblestone sidewalks and indulging in ice-cream.

“I remember you have preference for flower based liqueur, but, I think, all I have to offer you is scotch,” said Bruce putting one glass on Dick’s hand after pouring two drinks from the bottle over the desk table.

Dick frowned, wondering what Bruce was referring to, and it took him a little long to realize that looking through old memories wouldn’t have the desired results, since the man in front of him, was little more than a stranger. And then... Oh. Flower liqueur... The Bitter Truth.

Oh...

“No need to make that face,” Bruce smirked. “I, for once, can say I didn’t see anything. Selina deleted all the recordings. You can thank her later.”

And with just that, instead of a stranger misplaced in wonderland, Dick was 16 years old again, being caught kissing Babs behind one of the awful medieval armours decorating Wayne Manor, one that squeaked every time they brushed against it.

“How are things with Miss Anders?”

Dick almost laughed bitterly at the question. It was that breakfast with Selina all over again. Maybe they had been total opposites once upon a time, right now, they seemed united in their complete disregard for tact and consistency.

“After telling me you didn’t want to see my face, you brought me all across the country to ask about that?”

“You can’t blame me for the way I reacted that day,” Dick just snorted at that, Bruce sighed and leaned behind, resting his weight on the desk. He looked older and frail, but in a healthy kind of way that Dick have never believed he was capable of reaching. Bruce’s face and figure were softer, like they belonged to a man that was getting enough sleep and being fed way more than coffee and protein shakes in the past few months. Another thing he’d have to thank Selina for.

“What you want from me, Bruce?” Dick finally asked.

“I want to tell a story,” and his voice sounded so soft and earnest that instead of snapping back something spicy, Dick just took a sip of the whiskey letting the burning sensation ground him.

“A few years ago, when my son left home, and I believe it was the same time you left too, our worlds apparently diverged after that... Well, there were a crisis, an universal one. You won’t remember, most people’s memories were erased, mine remained. But I want you understand that things were not going well. It was a helpless situation, really... And much of it was my fault. So, when you said that your universe unravelled because of actions parallel me partook in... Well,” Bruce stopped for a moment, his face forming  micro-expressions as if he was adding internally to his point. Then, he sighed and drank his whiskey until the cup was dry.

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36 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

#4

Wandering Worlds

DickKory | Core Four Centric | Cannon Divergence | Longfic

Summary:

Dick Grayson is dead. His life taken by his own brother. The Abel to Jason’s Cain. Consumed by grief, Rachel gives in to despair, losing control, a portal opens, but from it no destroyer of words come through. Instead a man who looks just like him, how can he be?

---------------

*90's infomencial voice* Tired of Dick Grayson getting no character growth every season? Can't stand the lack of development? The fact that we barely got any DickKory content since season one? I have just what you need! *normal voice* Okay, so in this fic Dick died, and Rachel pulled an alternative version of him from a dying universe, a version of him that will not take his family, Kory and his life for granted, he's not perfect, but he's doing his best.

————————————–

Chapter Twenty – Like moonlight leaves with the dawn

Her back hit the soft pillows and Kory’s whimper was muffled by his relentless mouth, his hard strokes barely gave her any chance to think and that was exactly what she needed. Even though life had been more than easy, it had been better than she could have even been able to dream possible, still… Sometimes, she feared.

That morning, he woke her up with a frightened expression, telling her she had been screaming in Tamaranean. And, despite his continuous claims of speaking the language very little – which involuntarily already broke a little of their little fantasy since it was not her the one who taught him – he repeated concerning pieces of what she had said in her nightmare state with knowing ease.

“I dreamed that I called you because there was a Gordanian outside the tower, but you said that you couldn’t see any. But it was right there. You and the children wouldn’t believe me, and tried to show me there was nothing, I told you to stay by me, but you all left anyway. The Gordanian was there like I said and killed all of you.”

“Lover,” he called, so much care in those warm brown eyes, “that was just a dream.”

“I know... It’s silly, I know… Will you hold me anyway?”

One thing led to another and what began with him tenderly holding her after a nightmare became a serious fucking session, as she snuggled closer and her bottom became acquainted with his morning erection, an invite to a highway of pleasure leading to oblivion that she didn’t see any reason to decline. It took him no time to get hold of her intentions and slide his calloused hand over her hip, massaging its way across her tummy to her moistening cunt, helping it to get wetter with his careful playing.

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X’hal he was good at that! She could feel his warm, strong chest against her back, moving with her, his hot breath against her neck was almost too much, and never not enough. Kory reached behind, her mouth jealous of the open mouth kisses her shoulders were getting, but then his hand was gone from where she needed him the most to pull her hair aside, sucking the skin of the nape of her neck.

“Touch yourself,” he asked against her ear.

Kory gasped and turned her head back to look at him only to face indubious desire in his eyes. She let go of the piece of duvet she was holding for dear life to do as he pleaded hissing as her fingers touched her sensitive skin and pushing her butt firmer against his hard on. He helped by massaging her hip, pulling her underwear down as she worked.

“Look at me,” the ordered as she threatened to close her eyes in pleasure, mouth open agape as the sensation build. Eyes locked to her face, he alternated between rocking against her, spreading small kisses on her shoulders and stroking her round butt. “Koriand’r,” he warned as she blinked a little too long for his liking and as she didn’t obey because the pleasure was reaching breaking point, he slid one hand under her thigh, pushing her hand away while he lift her, rearranged her body on her bed, under him. Kory was so startled at the change that she let out a high pitched scream making him chuckle.

“What now?” she breathed.

He answered by rising to his knees and fucking her sideways, with hard steady strokes, his hands on each side of her body first and as he gained momentum, he grabbed her by the hip, guiding her movements as Kory’s arms flapped around trying to get something to prop herself up and follow his vicious rhythm. What she ended up finding was the end of his braid that she pulled making him moan and burry his cock deeper inside her in a tougher thrust.

“X-x-x’hal-“ her voice came out choppy and high pitched, harmonized by the thumping of their headboard against the wall.

***

“What is it with the weird faces?” Kory asked as fixed the rear mirror as the kids settled on the backseat of her car.

“I wanna change rooms,” they both said at the same time making Kory turn around to look at them directly, both of them looking distressed and embarrassed.

“Why?” she asked puzzled and amused by their antics.

Rachel just rolled her eyes and put her headphones on, her cheeks were bright red, Kory turned her gaze to Gar then, he was a little greener than the usual.

“I don’t know about Rach…” that gained a betrayed look and a shove from his sister, but he continued without retaliation, “but I think you and Dick could use a little more… privacy.”

Kory winced. And then turned forward, picking her phone from the dashboard.

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37 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

WANDERING WORLDS

DickKory | Core Four Centric | Cannon Divergence | Longfic

Summary:

Dick Grayson is dead. His life taken by his own brother. The Abel to Jason’s Cain. Consumed by grief, Rachel gives in to despair, losing control, a portal opens, but from it no destroyer of words come through. Now Kory has to deal with the death of the man she loved and with this stranger that looks exactly like him, but isn’t.

————————————–

Part Tree – Star-Crossed

“It’s a sad song

It’s a sad tale, it’s a tragedy

It’s a sad song

But we sing it anyway”

- Hadestown

Chapter Eleven - The Other Side

Despite what Donna had said, when Dick got a call from Gotham, the person on the other side was not Bruce.

"How are you doing, kitten?"

His heart fluttered painfully the first time Selina called. He didn't exactly had been close with the woman from his own world. At least, not in the last decade.

Bruce and her were always on and off and that frustrated him as a teenager. It felt, sometimes, after his parents died, that love was something unreliable, and Bruce and Selina were the proof that he should always be weary of it. All his life he had tried to guard himself against its tricks, and never wanted to lose the ground under his feet like he had lost his parents. And the way he planned to manage that was to never become like Bruce. He’d never let anyone have the power Selina had over him.

When Bruce and Selina were together, and she was home, it was good, they were a family. It was almost normal. Bruce would change for the better, and Dick would get to be son instead of ward or apprentice. But when she was gone, and she’d always leave, it was like becoming and orphan again in a smaller dose, for Bruce would burry himself in his pain and forget about the boy upstairs hungry for love and attention.

No more movie nights, no board games, no meals together. Only lonely meals, and the endless cold depths of the cave.

The only way Dick would find to not be forgotten completely, was following his mentor into the dark, focusing in his own sorrows, training hard and sharpening his detective skills.

Partner was not as good as son, but was better than nothing.

For a moment with Kory and the kids he thought maybe, just maybe, whatever curse he was under had been broken. But now... Well, he’d seen how much people had hurt in consequence of his biased decisions, and the loss he was enduring because of those decisions had dimensions he couldn’t conceive now it was all said and done. After everything, what conclusion he could take? He didn’t have the faintest idea.

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When he picked the phone, the first time she called, Selina made small talk. To his bewilderment, she talked about pleasant nothings with an ease he could only dream of mimicking whenever he was trying to seduce someone. He came to the conclusion she was just as good at avoiding his questions as she was at avoiding the law.

Her voice felt familiar and cosy like in those mornings, oh, a life ago, when his Selina would take him out to eat breakfast at their favourite waffle house and let him eat as much empty calories as he wanted insted of the restrictive diet Bruce had him on. When he said something that made her laugh, that same husky laugh of his childhood, he tried, with little success, to not think about how he had thought he’d never be able to listen to that laugh again.

Although they haven’t talked since this world’s Dick Grayson’s funeral; like the woman who had tried to save a little of his childhood when nobody else seemed to think it was worth the effort; it felt like she could slide into his life as she was always there. Selina made it feel like it was only a call in a string of calls she made all the time instead of a never before occurrence. And, when they shared their goodbyes, he had almost forgotten that, in another life, he had seen footage of her dying by the hands of the one she loved the most.

Her calls became recurrent, sometimes he’d think to have heard Bruce’s voice, and in other times the way she phrased some questions felt like it was Bruce testing him through her. It hurt a little, but also it was nice to think, that, in that world, she finally stayed.

October took San Francisco first by rain, like on the day of the gordanian attack and then by the explosion of high-saturated colours of the fallen leaves, and green seen to had disappeared other than in Kory’s eyes. Donna, always impatient with the idea of staying inside too much, suggested they had a morning training session by the Lake Merced. Told them there was a secluded clearing that would be safe enough for them to use.

Gar and Rachel showed exactly opposite reactions expected in normal circumstances. Rachel, who hated socializing, sunlight and the wilderness, was excited by the idea of doing something normal, and even approached Dick with a long list of requests for a picnic that she didn’t even bother to ask for permission to plan. Gar, on other hand, stiffed his shoulders and jaw when Donna brought the proposal to their dinner table. He pushed his plate away after a while, clearly not wanting to make a scene, but too uncomfortable to keep eating. Kory followed him when he left the table after dessert – that he also didn’t touch despite being one of his favourites – and Dick saw them talking in hushed tones behind a corridor.

“He’s worried it’s not safe for him to train outside,” offered Rachel, she was sitting on the counter, pretending she was drying a plate for the past five minutes. She had started doing that after the beach incident, just finding excuses to be in his company. Was she afraid he’d reveal to be an enemy? Some twisted killer Dick Grayson? Or his display of violence represented to her how willing he was to protect them? How does one ask something like that to a fourteen years old girl?

“You should talk to him,” Dick said.

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39 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

#2

WANDERING WORLDS

DickKory | Core Four Centric | Cannon Divergence | Longfic

Summary:

Dick Grayson is dead. His life taken by his own brother. The Abel to Jason’s Cain. Consumed by grief, Rachel gives in to despair, losing control, a portal opens, but from it no destroyer of words come through. Now Kory has to deal with the death of the man she loved and with this stranger that looks exactly like him, but isn’t.

————————————–

Chapter Ten – Absence makes the heart grow fragile

After Bruce left in his private jet, Kory watched, tears in her eyes making the night-lights intertwine in a bundle of melancholic neon glow. Would she ever take the skies again? Had her fingertips ever really been able reach the stars? Or had that been in another life? To another person?

With her feet heavily grounded on the cement floor of the Titans tower’s rooftop harbour, it was hard to believe she had been anything other than Kory Anders, Earthbound, Powerless, and Commoner.

The sea wind whipped her curls against her face and she welcomed the slight discomfort, it was something else to feel, other than the hungry grief consuming her soul. Her mother, her father, Faddei, Donna… Who would be next? Whom would she fail next? Whose hand would slip from hers and fall in the deep pit of her uselessness?

“You staying?”

She let out a choking laugh at the question, her face falling on her hands. Now that they were alone again, it was hard to keep her back straight. She barely knew the man, and he, he didn’t know her at all, yet, a look, a question, and he could build her up or tear her down, and he didn’t even realise it!

He walked towards her, beloved and familiar, the worry for her that he wore on his face somehow made him even more handsome. Warm hands slid from her chilly forearms to her shaky shoulders.

“Hey, Kor… It’s alright,” but it wasn’t all right, wasn’t it?

She just threw her arms around his neck, letting his body harbour hers, wishing and praying that she’d never have to let go, but knowing it simply wasn’t possible.

“Talk to me…” warm velvety lips against her ear asked. “Please?”

Kory just sobbed and held him tightly. He hummed, the vibrations from his chest spreading through her body like the more delicate of the massages.

“Do I have to go get the tequila bottle?”

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A watery laugh crawled from the depths of her gut and she pushed him, but instead of letting go, Dick’s arms fell to her hips, as if they belong there.

He just watched her, as she took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself, his gaze so fervent against her skin that she could almost believe it could replace the sun, charging her up, making her powerful again.

“I’m fine…” Kory finally said, voice low and croaky from the crying, her hands now on his chest, a little ploy to feel the tuh-dum of his heart, reassuring, reliable. “It’s just…

“I know.”

She let her hands fall then, and took a step back, he looked hurt at that. Not unlike when he thought she was leaving him just like his friends had. Kory shivered at the loss of her twin suns, and hugged herself.

“You don’t.”

He frowned, in that deeply concerned expression again. Maybe, she wouldn’t put up with his obsessive paranoia, if he didn’t look so handsome at it.

“This isn’t about Donna, is it?” Kory took another deep breath and bit her lower lip, she looked away nervously and now she was too distant from the harbouring protection of his body, the wind blew hair at her face again, but this time, she promptly pushed it back to behind her ear. “Is it about those loose threads?”

She had to smile at that, even if only a little bit.

“You remember?”

He just gave her a deadpan look and crossed his arms.

But as she didn’t continue, he tried again. “Can you explain it now?”

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44 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Right there.

With her hands holding his face above her, his weight blanketing her, and the soft reliable thrusts between her legs, so slowly. She knows he's restraining himself to make it last forever, and still he smiles. Kisses her thumb as she traces the curve of his lips, grabs her thigh, urging her to hook it against his hips.

Kory's own smile breaks into a moan when the new angle makes his pubic bone brush against her clit deliciously.

The hand on her thigh leaves to catch the one on his face, giving her palm sloppy kisses in the same cadence that he keeps fucking her oh so slowly against the floor.

Usually they are rough and hard against each other, usually, she's the one taking charge, and making love is almost a competition.

Not today.

Today it is sweet like the kisses running down her wrist, and arm. Sweet like the giggle that escapes her lips when he blows raspberry inside her elbow, brown eyes twinkling, enamoured with her reaction.

Today, they pretend they are young, that this is first love, because it feels like nothing before can compare. Nothing before was real enough.

And when orgasm finally spreads through Kory's body, it's built up for so long that hurts. Her body convulsions and he holds her kindly, still thrusting slightly until one of her powerful contractions pulls him over the edge with her.

When all stars dissolve, and he's able to open his eyes again, Dick's on his side, head pillowed on her arm, as she traces the lines of his face with the tip of her nail. He shivers, pull her closer, hating that he has to break contact with her smiling eyes to hug her.

Kory is putty and complacent in his arms afterglow. And the soft cadence of his breathing against her ear lulls her to sleep.

The Earth stop moving, the world so still, the sun dies, neither of them notice.

46 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

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[legolasbadass]

A Lifetime Apart [1/3]

Artwork by the lovely @gwen-ever​

Relationship: Thorin x OC

Summary: Thorin meets his One while still a young prince in Erebor, but their lives are torn apart by their families and the arrival of Smaug. 

Based on Alice Tynan’s interview with Richard Armitage in ‘The Vine,’ this fic was inspired by @gwen-ever’s wonderful art for the @tolkienrsb 2021! 

Warnings: Angst. Seriously guys, this is really angsty, get your tissues ready. (gwen and I are not sorry lol)

Rating: T

As always, the fic can be read on AO3. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

There is a room in Erebor, a secret place where once their love bloomed in peace. All the memories of that place, where he held her and worshipped her with his lips, were forever engraved in his mind. It was there that, after months of struggling with his feelings, he had realized she was his One.

All Dwarves know that Mahal sometimes creates two of his children from the same stone, bonding them for life. Of course, not all Dwarves marry. Even those granted this honour by their Maker do not always choose to marry, for some value friendship above all other bonds, while others devote themselves to their craft. Still, as a young boy, Thorin had hoped Mahal would deem him worthy, and every night he had dreamt of the moment he would meet his One, conjuring their likeness like an artist who paints a picture and gives it life.

He had also wondered what it would feel like to meet his One. Would he know immediately? And how would he know? Perhaps it would be like in those romance novels his sister liked so much. A tender, all-consuming look from across the room, silently reassuring the other that they had found each other at last.

Perhaps due to long hours in the council chamber, Thorin had become more of a realist as the years went on. He always had to be on his guard, and he learned quickly that he could not trust his desires, for they could be manipulated by advisors and enemies alike. Romanticism was fine for artists but not for princes. The idea of a destined love became no more than a child’s fanciful dream, and Thorin grew gradually less opposed to the concept of an arranged marriage until the thought of it did not bother him at all. After all, his parents had been married for a political alliance and had still grown to care for each other. Thorin knew he would do the same.

At least, that was what he had told himself before he met Rúna, his dear Rúna.

He did not know immediately that she was his One, but from the moment their gazes met, he knew he would never again be the same. Her presence had so bewitched him that he had not realized he was walking toward her until she stood right in front of him. Then, stumbling over his every word, he had thought himself defeated, oblivious to the fact that she felt the same indescribable pull toward him.

“Thorin, at your service,” had been his first words to her.

“Rúna, daughter of Ragni, your highness,” she had replied with a curtsy, enchanting him all the more with her melodious voice.

“I hope you are having a pleasant time, Lady Rúna.” Already, he had loved the way her name rolled off his tongue.

“More pleasant than you, at least, seeing as you have found nothing better to do than stare at me from across the room,” she had replied teasingly.

Blushing furiously, he had attempted to remain formal and composed but, ultimately, had failed miserably. “I had hoped that would go unnoticed, or at the very least, that you would humour me and pretend like nothing had transpired. And just because I was watching you does not mean I am not having a pleasant time. On the contrary, my spirits were lifted by the sight of your fairness.”

Thorin could still remember the beautiful blush that had painted her cheeks. “Forgive me,” he had said hastily. “I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I did not say I did not enjoy it,” she had replied with the most enchanting smirk.

That was how their conversations usually unfolded. Thorin, who always prided himself on being in control and always knowing what to say, would find himself barely able to think. He blamed her low-cut gowns and the redness of her lips for that.

They soon became inseparable. Every day, they would meet in their secret room, a haven where they shared stolen kisses and soft caresses. Âzyungel, she would call him, for she, too, had accepted Mahal’s will. She had accepted Thorin as hers, and in those moments, both of them had believed nothing would ever separate them, for they were destined to be together.

Deep in the caverns of his mind, a voice called out to Thorin, warning him against the intensity of his passion, but he did not listen. He found himself thinking of her at the most inappropriate times, and she haunted the nights he wished he could spend with her. When he closed his eyes, he saw her smile and heard her laughter, clearer than the soft splashing of water against limestone rocks.

What would it be like to spend his whole life with her, his Rúna?

Thorin thought with utter surety that he would soon know when they announced to their families their intent to wed. At first, everyone was overjoyed. Rúna came from a wealthy and respectable family, so the king had no objections to his grandson’s choice — not that any of that mattered to the couple. Ale and Dorwinion wine flowed freely as the news travelled through the mountain. The prince had chosen his princess.

Thorin and Rúna welcomed their families’ approval, but they secretly longed to be alone once more. When at last they found themselves in the comfort of Thorin’s chambers, they drank some more wine between languid kisses, committing the moment to memory. Fingers braided hair then caressed the skin they hastily revealed, their cheeks tainted with the soft glow of love.

That night, like their hearts forever bound, their bodies became one. Thorin was gentle, attentive to her every need, and even afterwards, he continued to bathe her in tenderness, scattering kisses all over her skin as they murmured promises of eternal love to each other, bodies entangled.

Rúna fell asleep to the soft lullaby of his heartbeat beneath her cheek, and though she never doubted for a second his sincerity and devotion, those promises were never fulfilled.

Rúna knew they should have been patient, and although she was usually very sensible, she had not known how to resist her handsome prince, especially not when his body had promised her glorious passion, now and for the rest of their lives. Besides, it was not as though premarital relations were unheard of. However, princes had to follow much stricter rules. And these rules had been carelessly ignored. And as the days went on, Rúna knew she would not have the luxury of keeping their transgression a secret, for inside her bloomed the product of her and Thorin’s love, but also the cause of their demise.

Even if it had not been for her growing belly, her morning sickness and alarmingly fluctuating moods would have given her away. And they did. She had never seen her parents so furious, and their disappointment pierced her heart. Her father shouted about her stained reputation and their ruined bloodline, leaving her in tears as she tried to scramble away in search of Thorin even as she knew it was hopeless.

She knew they would separate them.

King Thror, with the support of Thorin’s parents, banished Rúna from Erebor, never to see her beloved again. She tried to fight them, indignation festered inside her like a poisoned wound, the unattainable promise of Thorin’s love shattering her heart into a million pieces, but it was hopeless.

They did not inform Thorin of this, for it was their firm intention never to let him know about the bastard child. Instead, they told him she was bedridden while they conjured up a more permanent plan. And so, unaware that his One had been taken from him, Thorin brought flowers to Rúna’s door every day. He hated every moment he was forced to spend away from her — it felt unnatural — but he consoled himself by thinking that they would spend their whole lives together.

Then the dragon came.

Thorin had been out hunting in the woods with his siblings when a strong wind began to rattle the treetops. Then a roar like thunder split the sky, and the blood of Thorin’s veins froze when he heard a shout from afar.

“Dragon!”

Rúna.

Without so much as a glance at his companions, Thorin bolted toward the mountain, fear clogging his throat.

Refusing to believe this was real, he did not even stop when the gates loomed above him, riddled in flames, but the screams piercing his ears grounded him to the bitterness of reality. The air was wrought with the stench of burning flesh and the sorrow of a broken people. All around him, children cried in fright, and mothers wept while the distant ringing of useless steel announced their defeat.

No help came from the Elves that day, nor any day since; a betrayal Thorin never forgot. Even if there had been survivors still clawing for breath inside the mountain, they had no means to reach them.

Rúna.

Thorin searched for her everywhere, shouting her name until his lungs burned, but when the moon appeared, and she was still nowhere to be found, Thorin knew it was hopeless. Grief crashed over him like a hurricane.

He had lost her.

He wanted to tear the sky open and demand retribution from Mahal himself, but all his remaining strength he used to remain on his feet. He had to be strong for his people — what remained of them. His family had miraculously survived, but even that could not have filled the gaping hole where his heart had once beat.

Rúna, his dear Rúna. The memory of her lips against his turned to ash in his mouth. When he had last kissed her and held her, he had done so thinking he would have a lifetime to keep loving her. But she was now no more than a memory.

He forced himself not to think of that, for his people needed him now more than ever. Only once he was finally alone did he let his tears run free, and all through the night, he sobbed into his pillow, his only comfort the memories of their secret room, untouched by fire and blood. Thorin held onto those memories all through the years, never forgetting, never forgiving.

—

Khuzdul translations:

Âzyungêl: Love of Loves (used here to refer to the Dwarven belief in a single, destined soulmate)

Taglist: @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @mcchiberry @bitter-sweet-farmgirl​ @i-did-not-mean-to​

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist!

[just2bubbly]

Cursed Souls

Masterlist

TLC Ship Week 2021!

*written for tlcshipweek2021- kaider for the prompt 'Cursed'

@kaiderforever

Summary:

"Thorne, Do you think I'm cursed?"

"What?"

"Uh- like do you think I'm cursed? that Cinder- s-she is-"

"Is suffering because of you?"

"You really love Cinder."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

...

Grief can make your mind think distressed thoughts, Kai with a haywire mind turns to Thorne for help- feeling overwhelmed just moments after the rebellion as he waits to hear news of Cinder.

A snippet of Kai alone with his thoughts as he waits outside the OT following the brutal injury of Cinder in Winter.

Ship: Kaider

Words: 2.5k

Genre: Angst, Hurt-Comfort

Prompt: 'Cursed'

__

*Sort-of canon-divergence.

Kai's Perspective:

Saying that he was anxious would be an understatement of his (let's assume long) lifetime. Everything around him was intense. After making sure that the Earthens were in a secure place, Kai followed by Torin had hastily returned to the Throne room. He could not focus on anything after Iko had told him that Cinder had gone to face Levana- alone.

Kai was praying to anyone who would listen- he prayed for Cinder's safety. Everything around him had been so rushed in the last few days- he had been high on adrenaline since the time he had helped Cress stick to the plan, coming back for crowning Levana as the Empress, to the sudden outburst of Lunars, the rebellion, him being captured and later escaping.

Kai was not sure how he remained on his own two feet walking through the pale halls of Artemisia Palace.

"Kaito, she shall be fine", Torin assured.

Kai was not going to buy it- how could Cinder be fine with a tyrant like Levana, who was likely trying to kill her?

He yelled at his own mind for letting Cinder go alone to confront Levana.

All of a sudden the sound of gunshots was heard, followed by a cry of pain making Kai look in horror at his advisor. He hoped it was anyone but Cinder. His heart was pumping loudly- at some inhuman speed and the rush of adrenaline forced him to walk faster than humanly possible. As the elegant and large doors of the throne room became visible, memories- horrors of incidents that would likely haunt him for the rest of his days flooded in Kai's mind.

Now was not the time to be sentimental- it was the time to be brave and help Cinder... if she was in a position to be helped.

The sight that was before his eyes stopped him in his tracks. Kai was dumbstruck at the sight of so much blood pooling in the throne room- the red a stark contrast to the pale marble floor and the real condition of the usually-disguised face of Levana- the face behind the glamour was enough to make him go stiff and be rooted to the spot.

However, Torin shook him out of his reverie to point out things- people. No, not just any people, his newly made friends.

He exhaled sharply when he saw Thorne, Scarlet and Wolf alive. He could not say the same when his eyes fell on Cress and Cinder. A sob escaped his shaking lips as Kai ordered Torin to call for doctors.

As he ran towards her with a thumping heart, he hoped he would not collapse at the sight of Cinder's misery.

A pool of dark red blood had surrounded her, her bosom had a knife- it did not take much to conclude that Levana had stabbed Cinder. His cheeks were damp with moisture as he huddled next to her- not sure what to do. Cinder coughed blood, her face gone pale because of the loss of so much blood. She could not cry but the worried lines along her forehead full with beads of sweat as she nibbled on her lower lip to think of anything but the wound- to avoid screaming with agony were enough to speak about her misery.

"Cinder," he cried through trembling lips.

"Kai, help Cress first. I won't-" she said through irregular words. Even in death, Cinder thought about saving others above herself.

"Shh, she is going to be fine. You're going to be fine." He said with questionable certainty. He had never known any person who had been stabbed to know how fine the after-effects were. Yet he refused to lose hope.

"Kai," she said smiling a bit sarcastically. As if both of them knew that they were lying to each other- to console, to convince.

"Don't speak I'm here- help is coming. Try to breathe. You're going to be fine." He said trying to assure him more than her.

"No- listen, Kai, look at me I might not have enough-" she hacked blood mid-sentence. Her stuttering words were cut short due to her current state. However, Kai very well knew what she was to say.

"All my ears to you, Cinder." He smiled at her, the same cheeky smile he had shown her at the garage, where they had met for the first time.

"Don't mourn for me Kai," she said. "-And I know I will not make it. My time as the revolutionary is over. I was not meant to be Queen or Princess. I trust you to do what you can for everyone," she muttered through ragged breaths, stopping from time to time to inhale sharply.

Kai would mourn for her death even if she prohibited it, even if it was forbidden. His throat ached as he tried to form sentences, probably not the last one she would hear.

"Cinder you are going to live through it. You will live long enough to rule yourself and do what you can for Luna." He said as his voice threatened to quiver, to cry out loud. He knew she was slipping away from him, as her glazed eyes rolled at the back of her head, eyes that would spontaneously shake looking at the ceiling. He would not lose her- hadn't he suffered enough grief to last a lifetime?

She closed her eyes and as calm resided over her features, Kai thought he had lost her. He could not hold it anymore, he cried not giving a damn- the Emperor of EC was crying for his beloved who was in his lap. Dying.

"No, Kai. I am a lowly mechanic. The Emperor should not cry for someone like me- Be h-happy Kai," she said with her eyes closed. It felt like she could bear to gaze into his eyes.

Kai begged for a miracle. How he wished that he would wake up and all this would just be a bad dream. He hoped that Cinder would live to see that she was never just a lowly mechanic. How she was always more than someone to him!

She cleared her mouth to say something instead a sharp breath was inhaled. Her lips now red with her own blood.

"You were the happy ending to my tragic life, Kai. I hope you remember that," She murmured.

He did not know if it was her or fragments of his own imagination speaking to him. He watched over as the others raised her and lay her across a stretcher. She was taken out to someplace where Kai followed blindly. They argued over something with Torin in the corner as he kept losing his mind- little by little.

He wanted to tell her, wanted to say them till she believed it.

"His ending without her would no longer be happy."

Still, he could not mutter any words as he choked on his own sobs. he was not brave enough to think that Cinder was dying inside. His haywire mind failing to register the happenings around him.

Torin appeared beside him and held him tight, unknowingly muttering soothing words- not knowing how to comfort the grieving Emperor. He stood outside white doors while Cinder lay inside, he cried his heart out on Torin's shoulder having had no clue if she was alive or not. He refused to listen to anything, he refused to talk- to ask about her state.

His mind played back the whole scenario over and over trying to make sense of his messed-up present.

Selene had been a mystery to him, she was a lost princess born out of his imagination, Torin used to describe it as a lost cause once. When he gave up on her, Cinder walked into his life. When the matter was revealed, he had hope. Selene and Cinder- just different names had been his hope for a long time, his ray of hope was struggling indoors. She was far away from him, from the world. He clutched on tightly to Torin trying to make sense of his falling apart life.

"T-Torin, is she a-a- okay?" he inquired.

"She will be."

"You think so?"

"Yes, Kai. She is a strong woman."

He remained silent for a long time- staring at the doors that would not allow him to enter. Trying to avoid thinking about the 'what-ifs'.

He did not move from his position for the entire day, keeping himself rooted to the seat before the door, with Torin beside him.

"You killed her, Kai. You are responsible for her fate... if not for you she would have never been drawn into this mess-"

"-She would not be dying right now"

"How selfish of you to use her for your own gain!?"

"She was just a poor girl aching to be loved- and look what you did!"

"You cursed her"

"'She is dead because of YOU"

He opened his eyes- panting for breath. All the voices sounded like Levana... she was dead right? He had never bothered to check if she was alive or dead, as he was in the haste due to Cinder's state- could she have survived?

Realizing he was just hyperventilating, it was a nightmare- nothing about it should trouble Kai into thinking that the tyrannical Queen was alive. He might have dozed off, sitting in the medical chamber of the palace, he thought trying to make his mind stray away from the loud thoughts of his mind.

'Was he cursed?'

Kai did not have many people in his life that he would have claimed to love, but the ones he did were either dead or dying.

'He had loved his parents, hadn't he? And where were they now?', He thought bitterly.

They hadn't even be buried like royals ought to, their goods burnt down to prevent the spreading of the disease to Kai or others. Their bodies were cremated in an incinerator as a precaution. Kai could not even be near them, being asked to see the whole ordeal from far away for his own safety. He had lost both of them to Leutomosis.

He loved Cinder and there she was a few metres away from him, perhaps already gone on another journey beyond life.

Maybe he was a cursed person, otherwise, why would all his loved ones die? Was he not capable of love? Could he not love anyone without having to lose them? And the ones he loved would all wither and die, while he watched them from far away?

Or was she the cursed one?

The girl who could not be loved, the one who would have a near-death experience, every time someone tried loving her. Cinder and Kai- were they two cursed souls?

Didn't she say, 'You were the happy ending to my tragic life.' and hadn't he thought, 'His ending without her would no longer be happy'?

Did she think he was responsible for her tragic life- her death? Hadn't she been an outcast for a major part of her life thanks to Kai, who failed to realize the sorrow of the cyborgs living in his own nation?

Were they just going to be each other's broken, sorrowful endings?

Not able to cope with his overwhelming thoughts, he looked around for Torin, only to find him nowhere.

He gawked at Thorne, who sat adjoining him and asked, "Thorne, Do you think I'm cursed?"

Thorne was confused, to say the least, maybe he was being too vague so he briefed, "Uh- like do you think I'm cursed? that Cinder- s-she is-"

"Is suffering because of you?" he provided, as Kai failed to continue. He nodded slightly, confirming that he was thinking the same thing.

Much to his surprise, Thorne smiled, not the flirty smile that usually did but a genuine smiled that reached his eyes and said, "You really love Cinder."

Taken aback by his remark he asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You are so alike, I can only imagine if the roles were reversed she would be here thinking the same thing."

"You think so?"

"I know so"

"What makes you so confident?"

"You had no idea how tensed Cinder was when you decided to marry Levana to prevent the wolf-hybrid soldiers from doing more damage. She never said it but she thought that she was responsible for all the mess created in your life."

"Okay," he replied, not knowing what else to say.

"Kai, what makes you think you are cursed anyways?"

"It's just- you know, all the people that I have cared about are dead and I do care about Cinder and she is inside fighting to stay alive- I just think I'm cursed, not capable of loving people," he explained.

Kai, would not admit it but saying it aloud made it seem foolish. Thorne would likely laugh at him for feeling he was 'cursed'- like was he even thinking through before popping the question to Thorne.

"Really Kai, sometimes I wonder the future of your country if you happen to be sentimental- how did we get two so feeble-minded monarchs to look after us?!" He asked, dramatically- can always rely on Thorne to disguise his sorrow with charm.

Kai rolled his eyes thinking to himself, 'why did he bother in the first place?' and looked away.

A sigh escaped him and he stated, "You are not cursed, Kai."

Now Thorne did have his attention, it might have been the first sincere thing he said after Cress was taken in OT. Kai realized how he was not the only one waiting for some news outside the medical chamber, not the only one who was afraid.

"You care about your advisor, umm what's his name?"

"Torin," Kai provided.

"Yeah Torin- you care about him, probably look up to him as well and he is neither dead nor trying hard to stay alive. You care about your people and I don't think all of them are dead right now, now are they?"

"No, they are not," he said even though it was a rhetorical question.

"I'm just afraid," he admitted after a long time to which Thorne honestly replied, "Me as well."

He looked at Thorne, trying to understand his grief- if Cress did not make it, Thorne would not be able to live with the guilt- knowing very well that he was responsible for her loss, that if not for him stabbing her in the stomach she would be alive.

"They would make it, right?" he asked, terrified of what Thorne would say.

He did not reply just pressed his lips in a thin line and looked before him. None of them was capable enough to answer it. So, Kai looked ahead as well and prayed because that's what all he could do. Pray.

"Kai stop thinking about bullshit things like being cursed."

Kai nodded, pointing out that he was listening and likely not going to think about how he might be cursed.

He thought before saying it aloud, rolling the words over and over before finally saying them.

"You are really a nice guy, Thorne. No wonder Cress really likes you."

__

A/N: I had promised I had come up with angst, and see here I am- keeping my promise to you guys.

I know I have knocked a lot of medical facts, I know she should be unconscious within seconds but I just choose to overlook it for my plot. I wanted some deep farewell/ goodbye shit before Cinder becomes unconscious (builds up the angst you know).

I wanted to this idea for a long time now, Cinder's almost-death through Kai's POV. This fic was likely going to have a different ending than one the it has now- I was just going to live the ending in grey area but I had to change it to keep up with the prompt 'Cursed' for ship week. Don't blame me writing angst, I am just writing ship week prompts- and apparently all of them happen to be angst!

Tell me what's on your mind after reading it!

Votes and comments are always appreciated.

Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @cinderswrench @gingerale2017 @linhcinder686 @shellyseashell @ladyvesuvia @shelbylmkaider @levanariddlebackup @cindersassasin @kaider-is-my-otp (Tell me if you wanna be added/removed)

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Weekly Recap | January 11-17 2021

One day, I will make that Best of 2020 fic rec. But today is not that day. Enjoy this weekly recap in the meantime!

Complete

dying to taste this sick sweet warmth by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid​ (PWP, Steve/Steve/Steve/Bucky Foursome | 5K | Explicit): When interdimensional slips give you four versions of Steve Rogers, what’s a Bucky Barnes to do?

Born by the1918/ @the1918​ (A/B/O AU, Shrunkyclunks, mpreg | 2,6K | Teen): Bucky was still bare of any clothing after the birth—better for scenting and skin-to-skin contact—and was kept warm by a cozy-looking knit blanket up that covered him up to his sternum. Their daughter’s head rested in the hollow of his neck. His vibranium-grafted left arm, glittering as it always did, could be seen poking out beneath the swaddled-up baby girl. Steve watched from the door as Bucky brushed a thumb over the cute tip of her nose, giggling when her whole face scrunched up. A low, pleased purr rumbled in Steve’s chest. (Part 4 of 💙 Compatible)

The ink of our hearts by Rosesnfeathers (Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor AU | 7K | Teen): "I'm James," he finally adds, extending his hand to shake Steve's. "But my friends call me Bucky."Steve stands there. Unmoving. Staring at James’ —Bucky’s— offering hand, but his own arms are full of bright and fragrant flowers so he just awkwardly walks around Bucky to give them to Nat and turns around to properly shake hands with the florist."Sorry... um... yes, Nice to meet you Bucky! Welcome to Brooklyn Street," Steve finally says.

💙 summer slipped us underneath her tongue by cydonic (Modern AU | 10K | Mature): Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk. Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown. The rest is, as they say, history.

💙 wanna be my baby by Areiton (Shrunkyclunks, Sugar Daddy/Daddy Kink | 3K | Mature): Steve stumbles his way into a relationship with the bossiest sugar baby in Brooklyn.

Runaways by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades​ (16K | 5/? | Teen):  a collection of steve/bucky one-shots; inspired by “location + trope” prompts 

Chapter 5. v. a dustland fairytale (nyc/faeries): “Do you believe in magic?” Bucky asks, sitting back on his haunches.Bucky’s too old to believe in that kind of thing. He graduates in a year with a Bachelor of Science in Engineering from the Columbia University. He believes in what he can see, in what he can touch and feel.He can’t believe in magic. But.

💙 Somebody Told Me by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades​ (Modern AU, Soccer | 6K | Mature): Steve Rogers and James Barnes are heated, bitter, rival captains for rival football (soccer) clubs. But there is a fine line between hate and lust and all's fair in love and football.

WIP

💙 What lies they told us by darter_blue/ @darter-blue​ (Mobster AU | 4/8 | 14K | Explicit): Steve Rogers might still see his ma every Sunday, but he isn’t the dutiful son. He gave up that life a long time ago. Bucky Barnes may be following in his fathers footsteps, but he wants to set a path to something more than where they’ll take him. Steve and Bucky’s lives have always intersected. There is something between them that exists, real and palpable. But they are opposite sides of a coin. Opposing families in a war for money and power. Blood and pain. And fate may bring them together, again and again, pulling them closer. But it always finds a way to rip them apart. What they need is a way to fight fate. To fight their families. To reach each other. To keep each other. 

💙 Revenance by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel​, SinpaiCasanova (Bladerunnerblue) (The Old Guard AU/The Song of Achilles AU | 18/? | 57K | Mature | Warning: Violence, MCD): And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Or, the one where Steve and Bucky are immortal and used to be known as Achilles and Patroclus.

💙 The Dust and the Seed by the1918/ @the1918​ (Shrunkyclunks, Post-EG | 3/5 | 17K | Explicit): They’ve had one fight— (“Did just fine on my own, and I walked a lot, Steve. No one ever stopped.” “I should have stopped when I saw you. I don’t know if I would have.” “You did stop” “I didn’t stop, I hit you.” “What? You think you were the first? Least you didn’t do it on purpose.”) —But it didn’t last long; nothing more than a fit of hot anger between them with its only basis in insecurities and what Steve is willing to identify as guilt. (Part 2 of Song of the Rolling Earth)

gimme shelter by Areiton (Modern AU, Veteran Bucky, Mechanic Steve | 1/2 | 5K | Mature): Bucky comes home from the war with a shit ton of baggage and not a helluva a lot else. Steve Rogers might be the best thing to happen to him since his life fell apart--but only if Bucky'll let him be.

💙 I Do Believe His Mouth Is Heaven, His Kisses Falling Over Me Like Stars by SinpaiCasanova (Bladerunnerblue) (Retirement fic | 2/? | 6K | Explicit): "What, you didn’t get enough of that in the war, pal? We spent the majority of ‘44 fuckin’ camping with the Howlies, and I don’t think Wilson really believes that a hug from the great outdoors is gonna magically cure us of seventy-odd-years worth of pain and suffering. It’s just a ploy to get us away from him for a while.” “Oh, c’mon,” Steve rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Where’s your sense of adventure!” Bucky shoots him a withering glare. “I’ve had enough ‘adventure’ to last three lifetimes, Steve, and unlike you, I’m not exactly jonesin’ to get up close and personal with the feral wildlife out there.”

[rosalyn51]

AMC Talk

A Discovery Of Witches's Matthew Roydon Vs. Matthew Clairmont

Posted by AMC Editors | June 29, 2021

In Season 1 of A Discovery of Witches, we were enamored by Matthew Clairmont. The man couldn't help but flirt with the camera (watch the video below if you need a reminder).

In Season 2, it's more of a fearful frown as Matthew goes on a much more introspective journey. In the premiere episode of the latest season, we're thrust into All Hallows Eve, and Matthew Clairmont is made to confront his complex past (aka 'Matthew Roydon’.) Throughout Season 2, we'll witness an internal battle of epic proportions as Matthew battles his old self, all while trying to keep his vampire head above water.

Let's take a deeper look at these two Matthews, and ask: will the real Matthew please stand up?! Or will we have to wait for Season 3?

So, Who Is Matthew Roydon?

As Season 2 unravels, we almost forget about the geneticist, wine-drinking, modern-day Matthew. In his place, we meet the 16th-century poet, Matthew Roydon, a part of The School of Night community which Deborah Harkness marvelously reimagined into vampires and demons in her books.

Matthew resumes his old work as a spy, outing Catholics (even though he is one,) and torturing people under the instructions of Queen Elizabeth to help obtain vital information that we will not spoil for you! Who knew Season 1's Matthew could be a torturer? As we witness this hardening of Matthew, it’s hard not to question our feelings for him.

A Deeper Examination of Matthew Roydon

Who else to better expose the real you, than your demon best friend Kit Marlowe? He's from waaay back in the day, and part of your old gang from The School of Night. What Kit exposes, simply put, is a lot. For us mortals, I’m sure if we traveled back to earlier chapters of our lives we would discover equally unfamiliar versions of ourselves.

As Diana finds her new powers and looks for the Book of Life, Matthew resumes his old spy job, aims to remain loyal to his old friends, faces the regression of grief, and gets extremely vulnerable in the face of his father Philippe de Clermont. It's enough to make anyone spiral, let alone a vampire trying to control his hunger. This spiraling leads to a fantastically watchable Discovery of Matthew Roydon.

Now, imagine being in Diana's shoes, and seeing the man you're in love with hunt your fellow witches. Yikes.

Matthew Roydon Meets Diana Bishop

Video: Can Diana’s and Matthew’s Love Survive?

Season 2 is like a first date all over again for Matthew and Diana. As Diana is confronted with her new man, Matthew Roydon, you can tell by her face in the first five minutes that it's going to be a rollercoaster of a journey. This new Matthew is heavier and highly irritable, as he copes with the vulnerability of his inner demons possibly being exposed to Diana. This strain is the perfect ingredient for some real relationship discoveries, among many other discoveries to come this season.

Stream new episodes every week on amc.com and AMC apps. New episodes air Sundays 8/7c.

We'd love to know, do you prefer the Matthew of the present or of the past?

#ADoWS2   #amctv

[energyanon]

ITS TIME FOR:

THE SEBASTIAN STAN MEGAMIX:

Don’t you dare go through the rest of the reading without getting yourself hyped with the link first cause I spent OVER TWO HOURS ON THIS READING AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK DAMMIT.

* https://youtu.be/nendMLrpI-s*

ALSO: no one kill me, there is a very unpopular opinion that unfolded. I just feel the energy, don’t avada kadavra the messenger. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t match your ideal, man.

I’ve put Seb down first - just on his own.

I know I’ve said he seems like a sad bitch, and this might be because it was his birthday like.. what yesterday? And maybe I’m in his current energy (I’ll check on a different timeline) but…

Fans are gonna say it’s fake - he’s happy.

He’s really content. He’s swaying a bit which is why I feel like there’s like a tiny bit of drunk-ness hence why I feel like I’m in his CURRENT energy, but there’s 0 fault. He is so peaceful and happy and content. There’s nothing else to it.

So I closed that off, switched him over to “2021 energy” just to see how he’s been going for the most part rather than right now. And there was an immediate change, specifically to the middle of my head, a sort of pressure there. Heavy eyes, not as happy and starting to get hot. Specifically in shoulders and arms and hands. Hands is usually anxiety, shoulders and arms… I don’t usually get. The happiness is there but the smiles are fleeting. Otherwise it’s not sad it’s just… floating through, getting by. Pressure in my head is getting worse though and now my back is itchy. With energy letting me know that, I can only assume there needs to be a placement of something behind him.

Ok, placement behind him whatever it is, is DRAGGING him down. Mood changed entirely. And he’s being pulled BACK to this thing almost like he wants to fall into it. He’s really focused on in front of him, not quite scared, but eyes wide. Panicked. He does NOT want to look behind him.

The feeling now is.. almost a depression; tired. And he’s looking on the ground now. That almost always means that he’s looking at someone who has died.

Guys? Any death around him recently??

YOOO OK THATS FUCKED AS SOON AS I WROTE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY ROOM THAT MOVED ITSELF WITH A GIANT CLANK 👀 I AM NOT DOING A SEANCE TONIGHT FOLKS I AM OUTTIE.

CLOSING THAT ONE OFF REAL FUCKING FAST JOLY SHIT. Gimme a sec to get whatever the fuck that is outta here.

Ok no that’s a lie. Why does it feel like Grandparent Stan.

Guys, has one of the grandparent Stan’s died? It’s not a bad energy, but to him it feels like depression. I’m taking a moment just to speak to them cause they clearly wanted my attention. I tried to end it there cause I don’t fuck with spirits, but as soon as I tried to close my apps it said “no” really sweetly, so…

Ok so I just spent about half an hour doing a mini constellation for them. When it comes to grief and also the ~spirit~ letting itself be known I knew they were gonna stay around until I helped. It was pretty personal, but I got them through it. Felt a lot like a grandma from one of the sides I’m not sure who. Gave me some very cute images of her and little Seb playing in a park and cooking 🥺 Seb cried alot, but was also VERY happy to see her. They said their bits, he knows she’s a support. She’s agreed to be there for the rest of the reading however he needs her. They’re currently holding hands in letting him keep her there.

Let’s move on.

Didnt think I would cry in this one but here I am.

Ok I’ve got him in his previous position, Grandma?Stan is behind him, we’re moving on.

He feels A lot better now that the grief has been sorted through. Feels fresh.

Career/fans came up in that mini constellation so I will put that down next.

The only thing he brought up about the fans was he feels like they’re ripping him apart. He feels like everyone wants a piece of him and he can’t give them that.

I put career down. Career is in front of him facing him to his left. The fans, surprise surprise, wanted to be right on top of him. And he is CHOKING with that being the case. Throat clamping up, airways are BLOCKED. I’m moving them off.

Even then, the fans are too close, Seb has taken two steps back.

Even then they’re still too close. He’s moved to behind career, so career is blocking the view of him and the fans.

Here in this position he’s standing like a statue, he feels like he’s successfully hidden and it’s here he’s gonna stay.

Moving to career:

Career is super confused at where he went and also feels like fans are a bit close. also feels like it is better than the fans. Kind of giving them a look of disgust. Career seems to understand that the fans are gonna be stuck close to them but they think of them a bit like they’re looking at something a bit dirty.. like career doesn’t want to get their hands on them. Career wants to turn to Seb.

Career is bigger than Seb by quite a bit. Not as overbearing as Chris’s career was though, and seems to be on good terms with him. It doesn’t have any feelings of animosity towards Seb, it’s just looking at him like “you good?” And then looking back at the fans and being like “cause of THEM? Really? Lol ok”

But career feels fine to block him off from fans, that’s ok it doesn’t mind. Career doesn’t want Seb to take his eyes off it though. Eyes on career. Keep your eyes on career.

Don’t look anywhere else. Eyes on career.

Back to Seb:

Seb agrees, eyes on career. He’s very obedient to that.

There’s nothing else for me to do with these two so I went to see if he wanted to look past career at fans. He didn’t. Eyes on career.

(What have you guys done to him, i followed him back in CA:WS and he wasn’t like this at ALL. Damn guys.)

I went back to fans and they just kept making the same movement, they wanted to be on top of him. Close wasn’t close enough. I’m not moving them back there though cause then it will just go in circles and we want MOVEMENT.

I’m leaving fans there.

I am adding GF

Ale? Is that what people call her?

Ale has placed herself behind career. She is currently fully in the fans view, but she’s facing career and seb, career has back to her, seb is facing her way.

She seems to know that career is most important and she’s ok with that. She’s kind of expectantly trying to get his attention though. Like the feeling of waiting for someone to get off work and waiting for them at the door. She’s just waiting. She looks at fans like they’re beneath her though. Doesn’t like them. Not dislike, but they’re beneath her, she doesn’t need to interact.

No other movement from her besides the fact that she wants seb to move over to her so he can be by her side.

I went to the fans and they’re just all BORING their eyes into her. No need to even look at seb it’s ALE. No movement from them otherwise.

Moving back to seb:

Eyes on career. Eyes on career, except ale is more interesting now and he wants to shuffle over her way, but also career? But also ale.

He doesn’t want to go the obvious way, he kind of wants to sneak past career.

I’m gonna sneak him past career.

He’s doing it sheepishly and very slowly. Like a little boy shuffle.

Ok seb is now in front of ale, career is behind him, backs faced to each other.

Ale is taller to him. (Usually means he thinks highly of her OR that she’s in a more powerful position in the relationship but it doesn’t feel like that he’s acting like a simp)

So weird this is such simp behaviour, I moved ale back a little cause they were practically on top of each other but he was like “noooooo” and moved himself closer again.

Like dude you’re practically breathing in her organs. Chill.

It’s weird though Hes not feeling like He wants to cuddle her or be anything other than just close to her. He seems to be completely mesmerised by her. Short breaths though, he’s not relaxed. But he cannot take his eyes off her.

Moving to Ale:

She doesn’t really take her eyes off him either but she’s much more easily distracted.

She’s very fond of him though. She feels very content. She likes him, she’s happy there.

No more movement from either of them so let’s ask questions.

I asked both parties if they loved each other. Ale said yes, seb said I don’t know.

It’s also not “I don’t know” in a 😬 way it’s.. a curious and nice “I don’t know” kind of like.. “I’ve never felt like THIS before.. is THIS love?”

He does feel a bit blocked though, like he’s not admitting to himself 100% but it’s so bizzare his feelings and his words aren’t matching up cause I feel so fond of this woman so why is he saying I DONT KNOW?!

Ok I see the problem now. I just said one word:

Q:

Marriage? Ale said “yes please :)”

And sebs immediate reaction was 😳 😬

Ya boy. Has commitment issues. He’s making sense now. I swear to god if he has Gemini in his chart.. I swear.

Q: ale, why did you get with seb?

He seemed nice 😊 (also an image of a yacht on the water popped up?)

Q: do you have pure intentions towards him

She… didn’t know how to answer that, it was a very hesitant yes.

Q: are you with him for the money?

The answer was a pretty clear yes but she tried to cover her tracks with “it’s nice 😊”

Q: If Sebastian lost everything would you still love him?

No hesitation it was still yes.

So what I’m getting here is she does like the money, she does like him, money is a main factor but… she genuinely likes him I don’t know what to tell you guys.

Q: seb do you like ale?

Yes

Q: why did you start dating her?

She’s hot! (He laughed at that) and then said she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s sweet… great body

Q: do you think you’ll spend your life with her?

Same reaction as the marriage question it was a very hesitant “I’m not sureeeeee….”

The energy is drifting a bit now so I’m ending it here:

Q: is there anything else you want to say.

I wish they would leave her alone

Q: do you want them to leave you alone?

No, I can handle it. They can do what they want, I just want them to leave her alone.

That’s it!

That’s all I got.

I didn’t get any bad vibes from Ale at all.

She seems to like him. I don’t know why everyone is so mad?

Seb also seems to like her. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have Gemini in the big three or Venus, cause that’s exactly like me, ive got Leo Venus, cancer sun that makes me all lovey physically but in my gemini moon and merc make my head like MMmmmMmmMmM BUT DO I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM THOUGH? Haha.

Someone look up his chart for me pls.

Edit: I did just realise I didn’t even ask if it was PR. Sorry, my bad. Assess the above how you will.

That also didn’t go how I thought it would at all. I know you guys thought he was super sad and making all the wrong decisions, but he really only seemed dragged down from something else entirely. That being said I didn’t add the agency you guys warned me about but it also didn’t pop up at all. Maybe in the next one. I did make a couple of mistakes here in terms of probably not asking the right things that will make the entire situation clearer. Sorry guys when I’m in it I’m only thinking of what pops up and going where the energy leads me. 😶

Peace ✌🏼

[love-bokumono-fics]

Fresh Crops - Week of July 12 - July 18, 2021

All fics found under the General 'Harvest Moon and Story of Seasons' tag on AO3

Grandfather - by EmeraldHaze15; Completed, 1/1, 1.4k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: Gen

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Barley | Mugi & May | Mei, Barley | Mugi & Joanna, Joanna & May | Mei; Characters: Barley | Mugi, May | Mei, Joanna, Hana the Dog

Additional Tags: Abandoned Child, bad parent, Good Grandparent, Yodel Ranch, Mineral Town, Extramarital Affairs, broken relationship, Strained Relationships, Father-Daughter Relationship

Summary: It's been years since Barley last set eyes on his daughter, but this is far from what he expected to find on a windy night...

(100) words to make you mine - by indoorsy; Complete, 1/1, 1.1k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Claire the Farmer/Doctor Trent; Characters: Claire the Farmer, Doctor Trent | Torre

Additional Tags: Drabble Collection, Fluff, Light Angst, Slice of Life

Summary: Doctor and Claire go on a picnic and other slice-of-life drabbles inspired by unusual English words.

Aurora Borealis - by durotos; Complete, 1/1, <1k

Rating: Not Rated; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Additional Tags: characters will be revealed as plot advances, Angst, Family, Drama, Broken Love, Married Couple

Summary: Neither the cold nor the late hour could stop them from making their solemn journey.

Winter's End - by ModernTsunami; WIP 42/70, 210k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationships: Claire the Farmer/Cliff, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran/Cliff, Claire the Farmer/Doctor Trent | Torre; Characters: Claire, Cliff, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran, Carter the Pastor, Duke, Manna, Doctor Trent | Torre

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Grief/Mourning, Slice of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Pining, Found Family, Eventual Romance, Love Triangles, Cliche, especially in the beginning, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags

Summary: Cliff's life in Mineral Town changes with the arrival of a new farmer in need of guidance. As his relationships grow more complicated throughout the year, he finds himself grappling with the doubts of his past and present.

Sakura Sisters - by LuluRuru; WIP, 1/?, 2.6k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town

Relationship: Ships will be revealed soon!; Characters: Claire, Female Farmer | Naomi, Brandon, Cliff, Doctor | Trent, Gray, Kai, Rick, Elli | Elly, Jennifer, Karen, Mary the Librarian | Marie, Popuri, Ann the Innkeeper | Ran

Additional Tags: Slow Burn

Summary: Mineral Town is the destination for these two sisters. Claire appears dainty and sweet but really is childish and a loudmouth. Naomi appears shy and uncaring but is perceptive and a go-getter. The two of them are here for different reasons, but both of them have to manage Sakura Farm together. Will Claire be able to find her childhood friend and the boy who saved her? And will Naomi be able to find her true calling in life? The road ahead will be tough, but these two can do anything if they put their minds together. After all, that's what sisters are for, right?

Lady Of Grasstrail Farms - by FromADenOfBeasts; WIP, 35/?, 45k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Pioneers of Olive Town

Relationship: Female Farmer/Lars; Characters: Original Female Character(s), Female Farmer , Lars, Laura, Angela, Clemens, Damon, Jack, Emilio, Reina, Victor, Gloria, Simon, Jesse

Additional Tags: My First AO3 Post, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, spoilers obviously, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Supportive Big Brother, honestly the best big brother ever

Summary: Pioneers Of Olive Town AU where Lars is single. That's not all that happens but it is the reason I wrote this. A young woman named Vallon quits her job and follows her heart to Olive Town, where her family has roots deeper than she ever thought. Now she has to contend with new neighbors, ancient magic, and getting the hang of farming a wild land. Can she cope on her own, or can she at least find someone to share it with?

Here You Come Again - by SeasonSuite; WIP, 15/?, 62k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Trio of Towns

Relationships: Female Farmer/Wayne, Minor or Background Relationship(s); Characters: Farmer, Wayne, Frank, Lisette, Ford, Ludus, Trio of Towns ensemble

Additional Tags: Crushes, Falling In Love, Love, farming, Fluff, dolly parton references, Friends to Lovers, cowboy aesthetic, idiots to lovers, Day At The Beach, Flowers, Romance, My First Fanfic, Bonding, Feelings, Humor, Slow Build, Did I Mention Fluff

Summary: On the first day of her new life, June meets a handsome, smooth-talking postman. Caught between his seemingly earnest words and his philandering reputation, she writes him off as bad news. Over the year, as June struggles to build her new farm, Wayne proves her wrong—then right—then wrong again. or, Westown's charming postman is known for being perfect, and he's usually happy to play the part. But when a new farmer tries to get to know the real him, Wayne learns that to be loved, he has to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Forest Stroll - by konbini_kitty; Complete, 1/1, <1k

Rating: Mature; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: M/M

Fandom: Pioneers of Olive Town

Relationships: Iori/Male Farmer

Character: Iori

Additional Tags: Making Out, First Time, Neck Kissing, Biting, Grinding, Dirty Talk

Summary: A stroll can turn into anything when you're with the one you love.

Seedlings and Sprouts - by TheBeckster; WIP, 10/?, 8k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Categories: Gen, Multi

Fandoms: Friends of Mineral Town, Story of Seasons (2014), Trio of Towns, The Tale of Two Towns

Relationships: Carter/Doctor | Trent, Claire the Farmer/Cliff, Fritz/Raeger, Gotz/Vesta; Characters: Cliff, Claire, Doctor | Trent, Carter the Pastor, Fritz, Raeger, Gotz | Gotts, Georgia, Iluka

Additional Tags: Tumblr Prompt, prompt collection, I'll figure out tags later

Summary: A collection of tumblr prompts I've filled over the last couple years based on Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons games. Every chapter is a different prompt. Should be posted in chronological order from oldest to newest. Prompt themes and ships will be included in the chapter titles.

Sugar and Spice - by Chibimiie; WIP, 16/?, 20k

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences; Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Animal Parade

Relationships: Chase/Molly, Angela/Luke; Characters: Molly | Hikari, Angela the Farmer, Chase, Luke

Additional Tags: first fic, Slow Burn, at least molly and chase are, oh god how do you tag fics, beginning is kinda rough, angela chapters tend to be shorter, mentions of eating disorders, ya girl was making it up as she went along, alternating povs, Friends to Lovers

Summary: Wanting to get away from past hurts of the city, sisters Molly and Angela decide to respond to a flyer advertising an abandoned farm on the faraway island of Castanet. Leaving behind their closest friends and brother Kasey, the two take a chance and move to the tiny island hoping for a new chance at life.

Red Velvet Valentine - by Juliko; Completed, 1/1, 5k

Rating: General Audiences; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Story of Seasons (2014)

Relationship: Lillie/Raeger; Characters: Raeger, Lillie, Maurice, Melanie | Meruti, Angela

Additional Tags: First Dates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Valentine's Day, Domestic Fluff, Cute, Awkward Romance, Romance, Short & Sweet, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net

Summary: Raeger wants to give Lillie, Oak Tree Town's local weather girl and celebrity, something nice for Valentine's Day to show how much he likes her. But nothing he can make or buy can come even close to showing how much he loves and appreciates her. What to do?

Winning the Hammer competition Manuela’s special reward - by Thefallen1986; Completed, 1/1, <1k

Rating: Explicit; Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply; Category: F/M

Fandoms: Pioneers of Olive Town

Relationship: Eiji/Manuela; Characters: Manuela, Eiji

Additional Tags: [See Fic For Full Tag List], Cheating, Older Woman/Younger Man, Kissing, Braids

Summary: Manuela gives Eiji her own reward for winning the Hammer Competition

[hinamoria]

Clumsy ghost

Hitsuhina Week 2021 : Day 9- AU / Ghost

Rating: K+ or T ? (It’s a little bit angst, we’re talking about ghost, so character’s death, but no violence or anything like that)

Synopsis: Living with a clumsy ghost was no rest for Hitsugaya at all.

Word Count: 1953 words

Setting:  Modern world

Author’s Note: my favorite one shot of the challenge <3. The first one I wrote immediately after reading the themes. And, rare enough to note it, I liked what I wrote at the first try xD

—

The sound of shattered glass abruptly stopped Hitsugaya in his chemistry exercise. It was 9:00 p.m., his parents had gone out to see some friends, and he didn't have any cat that could make that kind of noise last he noticed. He almost wished the culprit was a thief sneaking into his home. It would have been easier to justify the disaster to his parents on their return. But no, the probability was almost certain that Hinamori had done something stupid again.

The young boy let out an exasperated sigh and shouted in the direction of the downstairs.

“Hinamori! What did you break again this time? "

Silence answered him. But he was not fooled. Putting down his pen on the notebook, Hitsugaya got up from his desk, stretched briefly, and walked towards the crime scene. The living room seemed unoccupied, but right in front of the wooden bookcase was one of her mother's little blown glass figurines, shattered into dozens of pieces on the floor. Beyond repair. Better get it all out quick before someone got hurt.

As he picked up the pieces, Toshiro noticed a book also on the ground, a few inches next to the statue. “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Caroll. A classic. Hinamori probably wanted to read it and must have dropped it on the figurine. However, the culprit still had not deigned to show up.

"Instead of watching me clean your mess in silence, you could at least apologize," he said sternly, keeping his eyes on his task. “My mother loves this stuff, she's going to notice it "

A silhouette gradually appeared a meter beside him, remaining translucent. A brown-eyed brunette teenager, looking half embarrassed-half pained, played nervously with her hands while looking at her white-haired friend.

"Shiro-chan…" She started in a small voice. “Sorry… I wanted to grab the book, but it slipped out. "

This sort of thing has unfortunately happened quite frequently over the past few months. As a ghost, the young woman could not interact with objects as easily as a human being. But as she built up enough spiritual energy over time, she could do small things like turn on the light or the TV, or read. But if turning the pages of a novel was easy, getting the book out of the library was more complex. And she frequently dropped the objects she was holding for lack of spiritual energy.

"Here’s the result," thought Hitsugaya, looking at the fragments one last time before throwing it in the trash.

He will look on the internet to order the same item. With any luck, it would all go unnoticed. In two years of living in this house, he had ended up gaining a reputation as a “legendary clumsy”, completely false. But being the only one to see Hinamori, unless he wanted to be taken for a madman, he preferred accepting the reproaches, and turning against his ghostly friend afterwards.

His parents had made a good deal by buying this house. The former owners, devastated by grief after losing their daughter in a traffic accident, wanted to leave the place as soon as possible. Everything reminded them of Hinamori here, to the point of even thinking they saw her or heard her voice.

Their hallucinations must have been caused by their daughter's ghost desperately trying to make contact with them.

When he arrived, the feeling of being watched had not left Hitsugaya. He wasn't naturally paranoid, but something about this house was bothering him. And then one day, when he almost hit the corner of a cupboard in the kitchen cabinet, he heard a female voice screaming "watch out!" ". His face had crumpled up when he saw the half-translucent young woman right in front of him, and she mimicked his expression as she realized he could see her. And since then, she never left him. Sometimes to his dismay.

Ghost life seemed boring, especially when you mysteriously couldn't leave the house. So the young woman spent her time talking to him about everything and nothing, most often nothing. His ability to grab objects was a small revolution in their lives. Granting some peace of mind for Hitsugaya. He brought her CDs and books from the library every week to her delight. He also frequently left his computer or television on for her.

Sometimes he wondered why she didn't go to "heaven" or the afterlife. But she always dodged this question. So he had come to terms with her daily presence. At least she had the decency not to go into the bathroom. He would probably have asked to go to a boarding school otherwise.

Finishing cleaning up the mess, he motivated himself to return to the bedroom to end his homework and have his evening free.

"Can you take the book and bring it to the bedroom?" Momo asked behind him with a small smile. “I don't know if I would have the energy to do it on my own all the way."

Denying her nothing, he put the open book on his bed, letting the young woman start reading, while he finished his work.

"Alice in Wonderland ". She must have read this book at least fifteen times since he had known her. It had to be her favorite without a doubt. The book was starting to get damaged around the edges from turning the pages.

He walked over to the bathroom to relax in the shower and found himself disappointed that the bulb was burnt out.

"I had nothing to do with it this time!” Hinamori objected reflexively upon hearing his friend's exasperated sigh again.

You spend your time turning on the lights in the house," he retorted. “You are indirectly guilty of that”.

She pouted at him at the new accusation but didn't refute. Spare bulbs were in the attic and Toshiro walked there wearily.

The house had been renovated with the exception of the attic which retained old with its creaky and fragile parquet. A real ghost room, Hitsugaya thought.

Having found the purpose of his visit, he was about to leave when he noticed a partly defeated wooden slat. Better put it back on before someone got hurt. Crouching down, he was about to reposition it when he noticed a metallic-looking object underneath.

Removing the slat, he noticed with surprise a small metal cookie tin hidden in a recess between the parquet floor and the ceiling below.

Intrigued by this new treasure, he opened it. Inside he found a multitude of photos, as well as several papers and small items. He recognized Momo in one of the photos, dressed in high school clothes, surrounded by two boys, one blond and one with red hair.

He then decided to take the set to its real owner.

"I found this in the attic," he showed her, putting the box on the blanket with a small metal noise.

Momo's face lit up at the find.

“My treasure box! I can’t believe it! I completely forgot it was there!"

Abandoning her book altogether, his friend immediately took an interest in the content, scattering the photos everywhere.

"Look! It's Kira-kun and Abarai-kun! "She explained, pointing at the two boys earlier. «I’ve told you about them before. We went to college together and we were in the same class in high school! A real sign of fate. I wonder what happened to them now...”

She paused, staring at the photo for a long time.

"They must be in college today," she continued. ”Kira was a good student. I could see him teaching one day. Abarai was more impulsive. He spent his time being reprimanded. But I think you could have got along.”

Her tone had grown melancholic as she explained the scenes in the photos: Momo dressed in some sort of pumpkin costume for her fifth birthday, a family outing to the beach, birthdays...

"And this is a bracelet I made in elementary school!” She showed him, grabbing a sort of black rubber band with a small turquoise bead. “It's the same color as your eyes. Another sign of fate! » She added, laughing.

She started the gesture as if to put it on her wrist, but the bracelet crossed her arm and fell back on the bed, triggering a temporary silence in the young woman. A cloudy veil seemed to appear for a moment in the young woman's eyes but disappeared before Toshiro could even speak.

"I'll give it to you Shiro-chan!" She finally declared smiling again.

He grabbed the jewel and inspected it for a few moments between his fingers. He wasn't the type to wear this kind of thing, but the style was simple and the stone was pretty on its own.

“Thank you”, he finally answered, picking up a micro smile from the little brunette.

She nodded and turned to the photos again.

“Maybe we could make copies for you and send the originals to my parents?” She proposed. “They would surely be happy to have them”.

He nodded, approving of the idea.

As he began to put them away, Momo spoke again:

“You know…I didn't want to die Toshiro”, she blurted out followed by a bitter little laugh. “I…”

He was surprised that she brought up the subject so suddenly, but let her continue. The veil over her pupils reappeared, brighter than before.

"I loved my life," she said with a tight throat. “I had a lot of plans. I wanted to travel, adopt a dog, fall in love, take a parachute jump, learn baking... Those things may be trivial but I will never have the chance to do them again. When...”

A first sob broke her, and Toshiro, who by reflex wanted to put his hand on his friend's arm, saw it cross her without feeling the contact of her skin. She smiled at him, appreciating the gesture nonetheless.

“Thanks Shiro-chan”, she said taking a deep breath. “I was saying, when the accident happened, I kept telling myself that I didn't want to die and then I ended up at home like...that. A ghost. And then I met you... And I loved those two years with you, I don't think I could have dreamed of a better roommate to tease."

She giggled in front of his "hey!" and continued

“But seeing all of this, I realize what a lovely life I have had. And even if it was a little too short, it was happy and full. I shouldn’t have any regrets ".

Hitsugaya watched her with a slight pang in her heart, understanding where she was going.

"You're going, right? » He asked her

She paused, thoughtful, then turned to her book on the bed.

"Did you know I never finished it?" She confessed to him.

"I've seen you read it a dozen times," he remarked to her in surprise.

"That's right, but I’ve never read the last chapter."

She laid down on the bed and turned to her friend

"Can you read the end of the book to me, Shiro-chan? It would be a shame not to know how the story ends."

"Haven't you seen Disney? She wakes up, that's all," he replied to tease her a last time.

But he accepted, because as said before, he could not refuse her anything. And it was as if she had dictated her last will to him.

The text was crazy. His serious tone didn't match; but he continued to Momo's laughter anyway. And as he said the last sentence, he found that he was now alone in the room, surrounded by photos of his friend. On the back of one of them he could read in a somewhat shaky handwriting: "Thanks Shiro-chan, and goodbye."

[classified-bluerose]

Hey, Guys - It's Called Wandavision For A Reason

It’s not Wanda-Pietro-Mephisto-DoctorStrange-Vision…

CAUTION: SPOILERS FOR THE LATEST EPISODE OF WANDAVISION (1X09) FOLLOW.

Earlier today, the series finale of Wandavision (titled, rather aptly, The Series Finale) aired on Disney+. The show has garnered a devoted following of fans since its release on January 15th, 2021, all of whom have spent the past eight weeks theorising and speculating potential outcomes for the characters. The show certainly reached a high level of hype, particularly with episode five’s introduction of Evan Peters as Wanda’s brother, Pietro Maximoff.

Considering that Evan Peters previously played the X-Men version of the speedster mutant, an American version named Peter, his entrance sparked excitement amongst viewers. Many believed his introduction was a confirmation for all the multiverse theories spinning around currently. Particularly with Olsen confirmed for the Doctor Strange sequel, Multiverse of Madness, and the speculation of Spider-Man’s third MCU outing including two previous iterations of the web-slinging hero, it seemed that Peters would serve as a doorway into confirming the existence of the multiverse.

Those of you who have watched finale will know that this new version of Pietro isn’t Pietro at all, nor is he Peter, but just another unfortunate Westview citizen, victimised by Agatha/Agnes in her attempt to discover the truth behind Wanda’s powers. His real name? Ralph - yes, that Ralph. The previously mentioned but never seen husband of Agnes. His full name?

Ralph Bohner.

Little bit on the nose, true, but this is Marvel we’re talking about.

However.

The show is titled Wandavision. From the very beginning, the story has been focused on Wanda’s refusal to acknowledge her truth. How she has run from her grief and trauma, choosing instead to hide away in a fantasy world where everything is safe, controlled, and familiar. Whilst theorising about how this show will tie-in to the wider universe and potentially lead onto the upcoming projects (Spiderman: No Way Home, Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness) has been fun, it is clear to see that many viewers have lost sight of what the show is actually about.

While we’re seeing what is, for all intents and purposes, a rebooted origins story for Wanda as the Scarlet Witch, the story itself is grounded in themes of trauma, grief, and facing up to reality. We are introduced to a grown-up Monica Rambeau, snapped back into existence after 2019’s Avengers: Endgame, who is forced to adjust to a reality where she disappeared for five whole years, and lost her mother, without ever getting a chance to say goodbye. Her understanding of Wanda’s pain forges a bond between the pair, despite their rocky beginnings.

Wanda, too, was snapped out of existence by Thanos, just moments after watching the love of her life brutally murdered - and this is after she was forced to kill him herself. Not only does she face losing her soulmate all over again in the Wandavision finale, she also comes head-on with the prospect of losing her children. Wanda is a character who is deeply tragic, orphaned during a war, dealing with the loss of her twin, her boyfriend, herself. We must also remember that due to the events of Endgame she has also lost friends, Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff.

Wanda comes full circle by the end of the final episode. She bids farewell to her children, her husband, and the life she has to come to know in Westview. She allows the Hex to come apart, freeing the residents from her control - and, in essence, lets go of the very things that kept her trapped in her own reality. Renewed by the realisation of her full potential, and ready to begin her healing process, she departs, and we say goodbye to Wanda Maximoff. The second post-credits scene shows us that she is off the grid, in isolation, astral-projecting whilst studying the Darkhold spellbook.

I know some are disappointed that Doctor Strange did not make an appearance, that Agatha was the big bad, not Mephisto or Nightmare. But the show made a good choice in allowing it to stay true to its original intentions - exploring the effects of loss, and how, sometimes, holding on can cause more pain than letting go. The introduction of yet another all-powerful being was not required to fill in any part of the story. To have fake-Pietro turn out to be real-Pietro would contradict all of Wanda’s closure, her choice to let go of the past, and look to the future. Sure, the ending is tragic, and heartbreaking - but it’s hopeful, too. We know this is not the last we will see of the so-called harbinger of chaos. Wanda Maximoff’s story may be at a close, but the story of the Scarlet Witch is only beginning.

[jadelotusflower]

July 2021 Roundup

Discussed this month: The Once and Future King, The Good People, The Secret of Kells/Wolfwalkers/Song of the Sea (aka "Irish Folklore" Trilogy), The Matrix Trilogy, the John Wick Trilogy, Space Jam: A New Legacy

Reading

The Once and Future King (T.H. White) - I've actually read this before, but it was a long time ago and I remembered very little of it so it seemed time for a revisit. Written between 1936 and 1942, this is a surprisingly meta retelling of Arthur and Camelot, very obviously and heavily influenced by WWII, with much academic pondering on the concept of humanity and war and ongoing conflict against Might=Right - looking to the past to try and understand the present. Some familiarity with the legends is assumed, White occasionally making reference to Malory, and there is a strange anachronistic feel - Merlin lives time backwards and talks of Hitler and other 20th Century references, White frequently refers to Old England and the way things were "back then", but also calls Arthur's country Gramarye, the narrative taking place an a kind of alternate history/mythology where Uther was the Norman conqueror of 1066, and yet reference is also made to the Plantagenet kings.

Comprising five volumes (the first four published separately at the time, and the final posthumously), it struck me on this read how each of the first four are structured around the childhood of a major player -Arthur (The Sword in the Stone), Gawain and his brothers (The Witch in the Wood), Lancelot (The Ill-Made Knight), and Mordred (The Candle in the Wind), and how their upbringing played a part in the inevitable tragedy of Camelot. In the final volume, The Book of Merlyn, it comes full circle as Arthur on the eve of his death is taken to revisit the animals of his childhood for much philosophising (at one point Merlyn argues at length with a badger about Karl Marx and communism.)

The Sword in the Stone is the most engaging, with young Arthur (known as "the Wart") and his tutelage under Merlin, being turned into various animals like an ant, a goose, and a hawk to learn about each of their societies (political allegories), and meeting with Robin Wood (Hood) and Maid Marian to battle Morgan le Fay, and the climactic pulling of the sword from the stone. This was of course the source material for the Disney film, although missing the wizards duel with Madam Mim (appearing in the original publication, but removed for the revised version).

The Ill-Made Knight is the longest volume and was honestly a slog to get through, because honestly Lancelot is pretty dull/terrible, and the Lancelot/Guenever love affair less than compelling. Ultimately it's Lancelot's hubris that dooms them - he is warned that Mordred intends to catch him out in Guenever's room, but he goes anyway, and doesn't leave when he tells her to, because he is stupid.

It’s no surprise that the female characters are given the short shrift, but there’s an uncomfortable vein of misogyny running through the book. To wit:

Elaine had done the ungraceful thing as usual. Guenever, in similar circumstances, would have been sure to grow pale and interesting - but Elaine had only grown plump.

And then later:

Guenever had overdressed for the occasion. She had put on makeup which she did not need, and put it on badly. She was forty-two.

Morgause (the eponymous witch in the wood/queen of air and darkness) is a negligent mother whose sole motivation is revenge, Elaine rapes Lancelot by deception, Guenever is hypocritical and shrill (but achieves a sliver of nuance in Candle), Nimueh is a nonentity, and Morgan le Fey is a monstrous fairy. If only White had turned his academic pondering inward and in order to examine the role of women in his worldview other than as damsels or instigators.

But Arthur also gets the short shrift - after all the focus in his childhood, he becomes almost a peripheral figure in the rest of the story until the very end, and we're not actually given much to show why he is the once and future king, other than that he tries to institute a slightly less brutal system.

Ultimately, White is more interested in philosophy than character, and so Camelot's inevitable tragedy feels more clinical than visceral.

The Good People (Hannah Kent) - If the Irish Folklore Trilogy (discussed below) is the beauty and wonder of Irish myths and legends interacting with the human world, this book is the cold danger of superstition and the devastating affect of folklore used as an explanation for life's ills. Set in 1820's rural Ireland, Nora is widowed and left with the care of her young disabled grandson Michael, believed to be a changeling. The local wise woman Nance, who feels the touch of "the good people" sets about to drive out the fairy from the child, believing that the "real" Michael will return, much to the growing dread of Mary, the teenage girl Nora has hired to care for him.

Here fairies are seen as a malevolent force, "sweeping" away women and children, causing bad harvests, and bringing death to the village - to be respected and feared. And then there's Nance, bartering traditional cures for ailments and troubles - some work, some do not, and some pose great danger. On the other hand, this is a remote village where a doctor must be fetched from Killarney, and only one priest who is less than charitable. Neither provide any help or support to Nora.

SPOILERS It's an upsetting read dealing with dark subject matter - grief trauma, child abuse and accidental infanticide, a kind of slow burn horror. If it takes a village to to raise a child, it also takes one to kill a child, as mounting fear and superstition moves through the population like a contagion, heightening Nora's desperation for the "return" of her grandson, and Nance's to prove her knowledge. It's an impeccably researched novel (based in part on a true event) but very unsettling - poor Michael is never really given humanity, and I feel this book would be hugely triggering in its depiction of disability and neurodivergence.

Watching

The Secret of Kells/Song of the Sea/Wolfwalkers (dir. Tom Moore) - I've been meaning to watch these films for absolutely ages, and I finally got to them this month. I’m pleased to say that the many people who recommended them to me were absolutely correct, because they appear to have been made to specifically cater to my interests. Some mild spoilers ahead.

I watched these in internal chronological order as suggested by @ravenya003, starting with The Secret of Kells, set in 9th Century Ireland where the young monk Brendan helps illuminate the to-be famous manuscript and befriends a forest sprite Aisling, under the threat of a Viking raid. Next was Wolfwalkers, jumping forward to 1650 Kilkenny where the English girl Robyn, daughter of a hunter, is drawn into the world of the forest and Mebh, who turns into a wolf when she sleeps. And finally we go all the way to 1980's in Song of the Sea for the story of Ben, who must help his younger sister Saoirse (a selkie) find her voice and bring back the faeries who have been turned to stone by the owl witch Macha.

Although the stories are completely separate, they've been described as Moore's "Irish Folklore" trilogy, and it’s easy to read a through line from Kells to Wolfwalkers in particular - both deal with fae of the forest, and Aisling appears as a white wolf at the end of the film (having lost her ability to appear in human form). I like to think that Aisling is in some way the progenitor of the wolfwalkers - after all, Kells and Kilkenny are less than 200 kms apart.

Song of the Sea is distant from the other two in both time and subject matter, dealing with selkies, creatures of the water. In many ways, Kells and Wolfwalkers feels like a duology, with Song more its own thing. On the other hand, an argument could be made for common fae spirit/s in different forms across all three films - Aisling is a white sprite, Robyn takes the form of a white/grey wolf, and Saoirse a white seal.

The strength of these films other than the folklore is the visual style - I really love 2D animation, and while I appreciate the beauty of cg animation, I often find in the latter’s focus on hyper-realism the artistry can be left by the wayside. These films not just aesthetically beautiful, but the art is used to tell the story - from the sharp angles that represent the darker or harmful elements (Crom, Vikings, the Town), to the circles and rings that represent safety and harmony (the Abbey, the forest, Mebh and her mother/the wolves healing circle, the holy well). The exception is probably the home of Macha, the owl witch, where circles are also prominent and represent magic, and this is often the case in folklore (fairy rings, fairy forts, etc).

Kells is the most stylised, resembling tapestries or pages and triptychs from medieval manuscripts, playing with perspective. I actually saw pages from the real Book of Kells years ago in Dublin, and remember them being very beautiful. We only get glimpses of the Book and the stunning Chi Rho page at the very end of the film, but the style of art is present throughout the film and particularly in the forest where Brendan finds inspiration for his illumination, and on the flipside his encounter in the dark with Crom Cruach, represented as a chalk-drawn primordial serpent.

This style is also present in Wolfwalkers, particularly stark in the way the birds-eye grid of the town often looms over Robyn in the background and in her work at the castle. The depiction of the forest has more of a storybook quality however, as does Song, where almost every frame resembles a painting, particularly the sequences of Saoirse's selkie trip through the sea and Ben's fall through the holy well.

Rav points out in her review that there is the ebbing away of myth and magic in each successive film, contrasted with the rise of Christianity/modernity. But there's circles and rings again, because while the ultimate power of the faerie world is fading away, the interaction between our human protagonists and faerie actually increases with each film. In Kells, we have only Aisling and Crom, in Wolkwalkers, we have Mebh and her mother whose ranks grow to include Robyn and her father, and finally in Song we have Saoirse, Bronagh, Macha, the Na Daoine Sídhe, and the Great Seanachaí.

Watching in the order I did, it does give the impression of the mythological world opening up to the viewer, gaining a deeper understanding and exposure as time progressed. On the other hand, that is also because the human world is gradually encroaching on the world of Faerie, from isolated settlements like the Abbey of Kells, to growing town of Kilkenny and the logging of the surrounding forest, to a modern Ireland of motorways and power lines, and industrialised Dublin where the remaining fairies have moved underground. It makes the climax of Song, with the fairies restored but returning to the land of Tír na nÓg, rather bittersweet.

I also credit the strength of the voice acting - the adult roles are minor but with greats including the dulcet tones of Brendan Gleeson and Sean Bean, and the ethereal Maria Doyle Kennedy (who I wish had gotten to do more). But the child roles are all performed so well, particularly Honor Kneafsey as Robyn, whose growing desperation and distress is just heartbreakingly palpable.

The Matrix Trilogy (dir. The Wachowskis) - I usually don't post rewatches in the Roundup, but I really, really love these movies. I will never forget seeing The Matrix at the cinema as a young teen, knowing nothing other than the tease of the enigmatic trailers, and just being completely blown away by it, and then becoming completely obsessed a few years later in the leadup to Reloaded.

It wasn’t my first fandom, but it was probably the first time I took fandom seriously. I was very invested in Neo/Trinity in particular as well as all the mythological/literary references that fed directly into my interests. I haven’t however gone back and read the fic I wrote, for fear that it is very, very cringe. I know where is is though, so maybe one day before the ff.net is purged.

This is Keanu Reeves at his most handsome, and while he doesn't have the greatest range (as many actors don't, although they don't get as much grief for it), when he's in the zone there's no one else who could do it better. He just has a Presence, you know? A vibe, and it compels me.

This is particularly present in Neo, a character whose conflict is almost entirely internal, burdened by the weight of his responsibility and destiny, both before and after he learns it is a false prophesy. He’s not your typical quippy macho action hero, but much like my other fave Luke Skywalker, is a character who is ultimately driven by love and self-sacrifice. I definitely have a Type of male hero I adore, and Neo fits right in there.

I also really love the sequels, flaws and all, because you know what, the Wachowskis had Ideas and they weren't going to deliver Matrix 2: Electric Boogaloo. Each film goes in an unexpected direction, and not in a subverted expectations ha ha silly rabbits way, but one that does have an internal logic and pulls together a cohesive trilogy as a whole, and how often does that happen these days?

The sequels are so…earnest, with none of the cynical cool detachment perhaps some would have preferred - at its core a trilogy exploring philosophy and the nature of prophesy vs choice, determinism vs free will, and the power of love. Maybe it can be hokey, and some of the dialogue a bit overwritten, but I don't care, there's so much I still enjoy even having seen the trilogy many times over the years.

Not to mention the great female characters - while I'm not sure any of the three strictly passes the Bechdel Test, we have Trinity and Niobe in particular who I love with all my heart. It does kind of annoy me that the Trinity Syndrome is so named, because it only applies in the most reductive reading possible, and Trinity expresses agency (and badassery) every step of the way, saving Neo just as much as he saves her. I mean..."dodge this"/"in five minutes I'll tear that whole goddamn building down"/"believe it"? Niobe piloting the Hammer through the mechanical line in Revolutions? Iconic. There are criticisms that can be made, sure, but the trilogy ultimately loves, respects, and appreciates its female characters (and important to note that the avatars of The System, the Architect and the Agents, are all white men).

Then we have the Oracle, who ultimately holds the most power and is the victor of the human/machine war. There's so much going on with the Oracle I could talk about it all day. It's that fate vs free will question again (“if you already know, how can I make a choice?”), but with the wrinkle of manipulation (“would you still have broken it if I hadn’t said anything?”). Choice is the foundation the Matrix is built on, the unconscious choice for humans to accept the system or reject it - the Architect can't control that, he can only manage it, and the Oracle can't force Neo onto the path she has set out for him, only predict the choices he will make based on her study of the human psyche ("did you always know?"/"No...but I believed"). But she plays with the concept of fate in a complicated web of prophesies for outcome she wants and trusting the nature of Morpheus, Trinity, and Neo to bring it about.

And then there's the visual storytelling - there is so much meaning in almost every frame and line of dialogue. The mirroring and ring cycles not only in the constant presence of reflective surfaces and central metaphor of the Matrix as a simulacrum, but the androgyny of Neo and Trinity, bringing each other back from the dead in successive films (and ultimately both ultimately dying in the third), Neo and Morpheus’ first and last meetings, Smith who is ultimately Neo’s dark mirror, the Oracle/the Architect, just to name a few. I just…really really love these movies? Maybe I’ll do a full post rewatch sometime.

I am however reserving judgement on the Matrix 4 - already there are a few things making me uneasy. Lana is the sole director for this one (Lilly is not involved), and Laurence Fishburne apparently wasn't even asked back, even though Morpheus actually survives the trilogy (as opposed to Neo and Trinity). But I’m interested, and don’t want to go in with any expectations, but rather ready to be surprised again like I was when I watched the first film (and hope I can stay away from spoilers).

John Wick Trilogy (dir. Chad Stahelski) - It was a trilogy kind of month! This genre is generally not my thing, as I don’t have a high tolerance for graphic violence and pure action bores me after a while, but I was in a Keanu kind of mood and I'm always hearing people go on about John Wick so I wanted to know what (if anything) I was missing. While still a bit too violent for my tastes, if nothing else I could appreciate the dance-like fight choreography, even if the worldbuulding is absolutely ridiculous - I mean, literally thousands of assassins across the world chilling in sanctuary hotels, supported by a vast network of weapon suppliers, tailors, surgeons, spy networks, etc? It’s silly, but hey, I was happy to go along with it.

What I do appreciate about Keanu Reeves, and this seems to be a common thread, is that even when in action hero mode (Matrix, Point Break, John Wick, and to a lesser extent Speed), he consistently plays a man who is completely in love with his partner/wife - like, completely, unapologetically devoted to them, and I think that is a big part of the appeal - it's that Keanu energy that is often the antithesis of toxic masculinity, even when in roles that would ordinarily rely on those tropes.

Wick is in many ways the spiritual successor to Neo - insular, taciturn, and even as he's dispatching death with clinical precision. Much like Neo, Wick is a character who is somehow Soft (tm) despite all the violence. I once listened to a podcast where they amusingly discussed the Reeves oeuvre as simulations of Neo still trapped in the Matrix, and it’s very easy to make the case here and imagine John Wick as Neo plugged back in after Revolutions, mourning Trinity and set on mission after mission to keep his mind active (and it would certainly explain why the guy hasn’t dropped dead after being stabbed, beaten up, strangled, hit by a car, shot, and falling off a building). It’s a fun little theory.

Stahelski was Reeves' stunt double and a stunt coordinator on The Matrix and there's plenty of homages in the visual style and reuniting Reeves with costars Laurence Fishburne and Randall Duk Kim (who played the Keymaker).

I did also find it amusing that Wick is also often referred to as babayaga (equated in the film to the bogeyman). Well, Wick is in many ways a witch who lives in the woods, just wanting to be left alone with his dog, and there is a supernatural energy to the character, so...I guess?

Space Jam: A New Legacy (dir. Malcolm D Lee) - I took my niece to see this at the cinema and it was…pretty much what you would expect. I thought it was fine for what it was, even if a bit slow in parts (it takes a looong time for the looneys to show up) and I wonder if they have the same cultural pull they had in the nineties (the age of Tweety Bird supremacy). But the kids seemed into it (my niece liked porky pig) and that's what counts I guess.

This time, the toon battle royale takes place on the WB servers, where evil A.I. Don Cheadle (having the time of his life chewing the cg scenery) wants to capture Lebron James for...reasons, idk. James and Bugs have to find the rest of the looneys scattered across the server-verse, a chance for WB to desperately remind people that they too, have media properties and a multiverse including DC comics world, Harry Potter world, Matrix world, Mad Max world, Casablanca world etc. Some of it feels very dated - there is I kid you not an Austin Powers reference, although it did make me smile that Trinity was on James’ list of most wanted players (skill: agility).

Unfortunately, nothing it really done with this multiverse concept except “hey, remember this movie? Now with looneys” six times, and the crowd for the game populated by WB denizens including the Iron Giant, Pennywise, the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz, Scooby Doo and the gang, etc. But still, it's fun, and hardly the tarnishing of a legacy or whatever nonsense is driving youtube clicks these days.

Writing

The Lady of the Lake - 2335 words.

Against the Dying of the Light - 2927 words, Chapter 13 posted.

Total: 5272 this month, 38,488 this year.

[ljones41]

"WITHOUT REMORSE" (2021) Review

"WITHOUT REMORSE" (2021) Review Three years ago, Amazon Prime premiered a series about the adventures of C.I.A. analyst, Jack Ryan. After two seasons, the series has yet to adapt any particular novel by the character's creator, Tom Clancy; it pretty much set up Ryan's origin story. Recently, Amazon Prime released "WITHOUT REMORSE", an origin tale about another one of Clancy's characters - namely "John Clark".

Anyone familiar with Clancy's Jack Ryan novels would know that "John Clark" is former U.S. Navy SEAL operative John Kelly, who became a black ops agent for the C.I.A. The character has appeared in two Clancy film adaptations - 1994's "CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER" and "THE SUM OF ALL FEARS". However, "WITHOUT REMORSE" marked the first time in which Kelly/Clark served as the main protagonist in an adaptation of a Clancy novel. This should not be surprising since the movie is based upon Clancy's 1993 novel of the same title. "WITHOUT REMORSE" begins in Aleppo, where Senior Chief John Kelly and a team of other Navy SEALs led by Lieutenant-Commander Karen Greer rescue a CIA operative taken hostage by a suspected pro-Assad paramilitary group. The situation escalates when the SEALs discover that the operative's captors happened to be Russian military. The latter apparently retaliates against the SEALs for the mission by sending Russian FSB operatives to kill several members of the SEALs. They managed to kill two members of the team. When they break into Kelly's home to kill him, they accidentally kill his pregnant wife Pam, not realizing that Kelly was in the basement. He manages to kill all of the FSB operatives inside his home and badly wound the last survivor, who manages to escape, before enduring near-fatal wounds himself. With the help of Lieutenant-Commander Greer and reluctantly, the C.I.A., a vengeful Kelly decides to go after the surviving FSB agent and discover the truth behind the attacks on his SEAL team. I have never read Clancy's 1993 novel, but I have read a detailed synopsis of its plot. Needless to say, screenwriters Taylor Sheridan and Will Staples made some major changes in the 2021 adaptation. Unlike the novel, the death of Kelly's wife played a role in the conspiracy that loomed over the Aleppo mission. In fact, the literary Pam was a drug mule/prostitue whom Kelly had befriended and whose death he wanted to kill after she was raped and murdered by her drug-dealer/pimp. The Aleppo mission was basically a replay of a mission involving Vietnam War P.O.W.s and a K.G.B. mole. To be perfectly honest, I found Clancy's novel rather convoluted. Kelly's narrative arc seemed to be torn between the plot line involving Pam and the drug-dealer/pimp and the situation regarding the P.O.W.s, with no real connection between the two. Sheridan and Staples made a wise decision to combine aspects of Clancy's two narrative arcs into one plot line for the movie. Another aspect about "WITHOUT REMORSE" I find interesting is that Amazon Prime had decided to produce a movie about the John Kelly/Clark character. The fact that the company started with an adaptation of a novel about the character's origin only makes me wonder if it has plans for the Kelly/Clark character to make his appearance in a future episode or season of "JACK RYAN". Or . . . if Amazon Prime has plans for Ryan to appear in another production with Kelly/Clark as the lead. Both Ryan and Kelly/Clark are known as the two biggest characters in Clancy's literary "Ryanverse" franchise. And the pair became close friends and colleagues as well. Not only did "WITHOUT REMORSE" prove to be an improvement on the 1993 novel's plot, it also featured some first-rate action sequences. Actually there were two action scenes that really impressed me, thanks to Stefano Sollima's direction. One of those sequences featured the SEAL team's efforts to rescue the C.I.A. operative in the film's opening scene. I thought it was well handled. But I was especially impressed by Sollima's handling of the movie's last action sequence that featured Kelly and the others' efforts to find the fourth FSB operative in Murmansk. I believe this sequence was enhanced by the cast's performances and Sollima's efforts to convey a sense of impeding doom for the SEAL team. Most of the performances featured in "WITHOUT REMORSE" struck me as solid, but not particularly mind-blowing. These solid performances came from the likes of Brett Gelman, Lauren London, Lucy Russell, Luke Mitchell and surprisingly Colman Domingo and Guy Pearce. I say "surprisingly" in regard to Domingo and Pearce, considering that both actors are usually known for delivering outstanding performances - even in supporting roles. I thought both actors did not seem to be putting much effort in their performances. However, I enjoyed the performances of Jodie Turner-Smith, who portrayed Kelly/Clark's commander Karen Greer and Jamie Bell (lead Michael B. Jordan's former co-star from 2015's "FANTASTIC FOUR"), who portrayed C.I.A. officer Robert Ritter. I thought Turner-Smith did an excellent job in conveying both the warmth and commanding presence of Greer. And Bell was excellent as the ambiguous and at times, manipulative Ritter. I certainly had no problems with Michael B. Jordan's portrayal of the vengeful Kelly. I thought he did an excellent job of conveying his character's emotional journey from a man satisfied with his life, grief, revenge and finally willingness to start a new path. If I had to choose two scenes that I really enjoyed, they were Kelly finally facing his grief over his wife's death and his confrontation with the movie's main villain. As much as I enjoyed "WITHOUT REMORSE", I must admit that I had two problems with Sheridan and Staples' screenplay. Both were featured in the film's finale. Kelly, Greer, her SEAL team and C.I.A. officer Robert Ritter went to Murmansk in order to find the last FSB operative who had survived the attack on Kelly's home. After Kelly, Greer and her SEAL team managed to survive what proved to be a trap, the movie focused on Kelly discovering who was truly behind the Aleppo mission, the attacks on Kelly, his wife and two other SEAL operatives; and the Murmansk mission. Needless to say, this hunt for the "Big Bad" felt like a rush job. I truly wish they had taken the trouble to convey how Kelly learned who was responsible for the conspiracy behind the Aleppo and Murmansk missions, along with the murders of the two SEAL operatives and Pam Kelly. Also, the main villain's motives behind the conspiracy struck me as unoriginal. I have seen this scenario used in so many political thrillers over the years that it seemed a pity that Sheridan and Staples' screenplay could not be more original. Yes, "WITHOUT REMORSE" had its flaws. But flawed or not, I still believe that it was an improvement over Tom Clancy's original 1993 novel. I have to give credit to Stefano Sollima's energetic direction, a solid screenplay by Taylor Sheridan and Will Staples; along with a first-rate cast led by the always excellent Michael B. Jordan. I do not know if this movie will be considered part of Amazon Prime's "Ryanverse", but a part of me hope so. It would be a waste if it was not.

[scoundrels-in-love]

Climb on your tears like a ladder to a rose, baby (There's a time to rest, There's a time to move on)

Three times Brienne doesn't have a birthday party and the one she does.

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Brienne-centric | Angst and Emotional Hurt/Comfort | Grief | No Major Character Death | Birthday blues | And gradual growth | Happy, Hopeful ending

Also on AO3.

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Disclaimer: This work is in no way or form related to author's personal life or personal wish fulfillment. /s

That said, early Happy New Year, everyone! Thank you for sharing so much love and creativity, whether in procuring new content or amazing comments, or pressing that kudos button!  Best of wishes in the 2021, may we all find healing or at least a glimpse of hope it is possible.

I

Brienne is ten and there is a movie on the large, chunky TV that sometimes needs to be smacked to work right. Specifically, there's a birthday party scene, complete with pretty banners and colorful balloons in shapes she didn't know were sold, and they're singing Happy Birthday and the child is blowing out birthday candles. Making a wish. The girl shares it with her friend later and Brienne scoffs, because everyone knows you're not supposed to say your wishes out loud. (That way, your dad's eyes don't get sad when he knows he can't fulfill it.)

Other than that, she doesn't really think about it much, never has. It's as foreign to her as the palm trees and sipping juice from a coconut. She supposes it's real to someone, somewhere, but not to her. People of Tarth have a different song to sing, but most of them don't sing any at all, nor did they blow out candles before they picked the tradition up from Mainlanders recently.

At least, that's what Brienne thinks. It's not like she's been to any birthday parties. But that's what her dad has told her of how he grew up. And that's how it continues in their household.

She gets a tight hug and a kiss on top of her head and a few presents, and a cake that doesn't have a shiny candle in it, but tastes just as good.

It's good and it's warm, when winter winds run hungry for snow to chase, and she doesn't wonder if she'd be like that kid in the other movie, the one to whose birthday party no one came.

She doesn't.

II

She is twenty three and she is picking out her own birthday cake. Her eyes skip over the number candles, because she's far too old for that kind of thing, and she doesn't even want the cake. She just doesn't want to think how sad he'd be if she didn't buy it. It’s her first after his passing and the thought of his worry is sharp. It’s never been deserved, but inescapable, because that’s what parents do, except she never managed to do what children are supposed to - to provide and take care so the final years are long and kind.

The cake blurs slightly as she exits the store, across the street from her apartment complex that seems to have lost the last of its colors in these winter months and the few strung up Sevenmas lights highlight that.

Brienne thinks her peers would call her insane if she told them she thinks winter in King's Landing is a lot more bleak than the ones she spent on Tarth. There is sharp quality to the contrast between the pale sky and darkening, rich color of water, even the jagged cliff edges stretching toward the horizon. It keeps one vigilant, wakeful. Here, the mild autumn grows more dulled and wraps everyone in an unassuming cocoon that slowly drifts toward spring, which finally hatches not quite rested.

But they have called her uglier things, too.

"Words are wind," her dad would tell her, but the wind isn't the same here, it doesn't take anything with it, only swirls dust around her. Brienne chokes on it, chokes on the echo as well.

Her father had loved the best he could, loved her truly, and if that rent ravines in her ribs, prone to collapsing in on themselves until she stacks them up again like a house of cards, then what hope of being loved gently, wholly, purposefully does she have?

She misses being hugged and told it's okay even when it's clearly a lie. She misses the certainty that her own love wasn't selfish. "He is in a better place now," they had told her, as if it didn't mean she had failed him utterly, repeatedly, until she had carved a crypt in the stone with her pacing?

Brienne falls asleep crying in a bed that doesn't feel hers, but she can't remember last time anything did.

III

Brienne is twenty eight and she pauses at the hallway mirror to fix her ponytail. There is half eaten cake on the kitchen table, bought at half price as leftover from Sevenmas, and a freshly opened wine bottle. It's the same kind her dad had brought her for her eighteenth birthday and she's never bothered to find another one she likes. (It tastes like the kind of summer she's never had.)

In this light, it's hard to tell if the shadows beneath her eyes are from the bit of mascara she had tried to scrub away a minute ago or the exhaustion she unintentionally cultivates like a little succulent garden on the windowsill.

She doesn't focus on the ugly or the beautiful of her face now, it's not what caught her attention. Brienne just stares at her reflection and thinks how she looks neither young nor old, that she just is. And that she has no idea what it means.

Shouldn't she know? Shouldn't she know by now? Shouldn't she be past the age where she is grabbing at dream colored smoke? Shouldn't she...

Brienne looks away before the first tears fall.

She eats her cake and thinks how her dad had told her that hawthorn and cranberries alike turn almost sweet after the first frost. How many frosts have been there now? Brienne's lost the count and the feeling of warmth alike.

She ends up drinking a little too much of the wine and going to bed early, looking at the single candle-look alike flickering on the table and willing herself to sleep after this completely ordinary day that should’ve been something, but it never is. (She isn’t.)

+ IV

Brienne is thirty six and her sides hurt from laughing.

She extracts herself from the couch corner, which Jaime immediately expands into like a lazy cat while flashing her a grin. When she comes back, he might try to coax her into his lap and maybe she will even concede.

She opens another juice carton and refills her glass, leans against the counter and watches her friends arguing over a board game in the living room. It's odd, to know you belong and yet to be so aware of it in this moment, and she cannot quite throw herself back in there, even though it is no mirage she could simply crash through. Instead, Brienne follows the cool and tethering moonlight that has looped itself around her feet.

She steps out into the garden - because that's a thing she has now. There is a thin, crunchy layer of snow that will bite through her fluffy slippers any moment now, chasing her back inside. But for now, she cranes her face toward the sky, sending white little puffs of breath chasing after clouds that slip across the moon.

The door opens behind her and she doesn't look who it is, because there's no one here that she'd want to hide away from. She's lucky, Brienne thinks, that trust was never a truly foreign concept to her, though she's had to learn how to expand it and recognize its many forms like a toddler would with a shape sorter.

Arms wrap around her waist and Brienne allows herself to lean back and rest against Jaime's chest as he props his chin on her shoulder. She considers telling him that she's fine, because she likes to say that, now that she knows how it feels to truly mean it, even if it's not every day. Instead, she allows the bittersweet ache in her chest to mend itself with his quiet warmth.

She hopes that next time she dreams of her dad, she can tell him of this night, to not worry quite so much, and that peace sounds a little like the sound of her friends' laughter drifting through the door left ajar and Jaime humming in her ear.

[blogger360ncislarules]

Warning: The following contains major spoilers for Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. Proceed at your own risk!

Oh, how the tables have turned! Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist wrapped up its second season on Sunday with a heart song — but this time, it was Zoey doing the singing! And on the receiving end of her musical declaration of love was Max, who could suddenly hear Zoey’s heart song!

Prior to that cliffhanger, Zoey and Simon had split up, and then the titular gal got a dream visit from her dad, who encouraged her to take risks and really live life. So Zoey decided to rush to the airport to stop Max from leaving for New York City with Rose. But when she got there, she heard Max sing “When a Man Loves a Woman” and left without saying a word, assuming the tune was about Rose. However, when Max unexpectedly showed up at the park where Zoey was sitting forlornly, it was obvious the ode was about her.

Max explained that he and Rose broke things off because they could both tell his mind was on someone else. Then as Zoey declared that she was all in, she started to break out in a rousing performance of Modern English’s “I Melt With You,” shocking a bewildered Max.

Below, showrunner Austin Winsberg breaks down the big powers twist and what it means for Max and Zoey’s romantic future. (And for the latest intel on Zoey’s Season 3 odds, keep tabs on our 2021 Renewal Scorecard.)

TVLINE | What excited you about this twist with the powers and what it opens up for a potential Season 3? I’m always trying to think of new ways that we can twist and spin and do new things with the powers. We had talked about this pretty early on in Season 1, the idea of Max getting the powers at some point. Certainly, when you think of superhero origin stories, there seems like there’s always a place in the superhero shows where they find somebody else who also has powers. So we liked the idea of being able to do our own version of that.

But the other thing that we had really established a lot in Season 1, especially in Season 2, as well, was this idea that Max feels like there’s an inequality in their relationship, because Zoey has the ability to hear what’s going on in his heart, in his brain, and he doesn’t get to do the same with her. I think in any relationship in life, there needs to be some degree of equality in order for the relationship to work. So just in terms of thinking how could Zoey and Max work long-term, for me, it was important for Max to have an understanding of what it’s like for Zoey to experience heart songs. And I also like the idea that Max could know what’s going on in Zoey’s head as well. And certainly, from a romantic comedy perspective, to be able to play stories where these two people are in a relationship, but they also know exactly what the other person is thinking about, felt like ripe ground for storylines.

TVLINE | To clarify, both Max and Zoey have powers at the end of the finale? Or is it that the powers have transferred from Zoey over to Max? I don’t want to clarify that entirely yet.

TVLINE | Zoey is sometimes a guarded person. So how will this impact her, and how will she feel about Max having all this insight into her? That’s all stuff to explore in Season 3. But I certainly think that it opens up a whole new area of stories to tell, stories about him experiencing heart songs, stories about her having to help him with heart songs, stories about him hearing her heart songs and what that means for their relationship. It just adds new interesting layers of complexity and complication.

TVLINE | Zoey’s heart song was so exuberant, so joyous and free. Were there other songs that were in consideration for that moment, or was it always “I Melt With You”? For some reason, that was the song I kept going back to. Obviously, there are a lot of love songs out there. We might have danced around a few others. But it just always felt right to me. It felt right for Jane [Levy’s] voice. I liked the idea that the first song we ever heard in the pilot was “It’s the End of the World as We Know It,” and this song [goes], “l’ll stop the world and melt with you.” I thought there was some nice bookend world specificity to both of those. I liked that she said, “Making love to you was never second best,” after the whole Zoey/Simon/Max of it all. There was just something about it that felt very right to me, so I stuck to that one pretty quickly.

TVLINE | Speaking of the whole Zoey/Simon/Max of it all, talk to me about Zoey’s choices with regards to Simon and Max in this episode. What went into the thinking behind those decisions? When I mapped out the arc of the season, from the very beginning, I wanted to make sure that Zoey wasn’t indecisive and vacillating between both guys and not making moves in either direction. So I really felt like what was going to frustrate audiences with this idea of Zoey not picking either one. And so we made a conscious choice that I thought was a bold choice for her to choose Max at the end of Episode 1, and for them to at least try to do that and sort of realize pretty quickly that it’s still too early in her grief for her to really be ready for a relationship.

I did feel like because of the dynamic that had been created between Zoey and Simon, and the chemistry between them, I felt like that Zoey really needed to play that out in some way. And we found as we were breaking Episodes 9, 10 and 11, and dealing with the relationship stuff between Zoey and Simon, that there was a fundamental thing that she was keeping from him, which is telling him about the powers. I think that she was afraid to really open up to him that way and afraid of what that might mean, especially since their entire way that they met in the pilot was predicated on a little bit of deception in some way. I think she just didn’t feel like she could be open with him or wanted to be open with him in that way, and then the power kept getting in the way of things between them. It just felt like they were both trying really hard to make it work. So I liked the idea of exploring something where the fantasy of it or the expectation of it is maybe not as rewarding or fulfilling for either of them when they’re actually in it. It was always leading to this place, for me, that Zoey and Simon were going to break up at the end of the season, and then to see how it played out with her and Max.

It was just important to me to not make Simon feel like the victim in it, to not hurt Simon. That’s why I wanted him to be the one to say, “I think we should break up,” and then to also give Simon his own victories in the episode [as the boss of SPRQ Point’s new minority-run acquisition], because we’ve seen Simon at his depths of despair in Season 1, and I didn’t want to end in that way. I wanted to end him in a more positive, forward-facing place and feeling like he’s excited about the future.

TVLINE | Between the breakup with Simon and Zoey, and Zoey’s declaration to Max at the end, is it safe to say the love triangle is officially concluded, and moving forward, it’s about Zoey and Max giving it a real try? Certainly, my intentions going forward are that she and Max are going to try to make it work in a real way. And I don’t have intentions to uproot that or implode that, but it’s also TV storytelling. You have to create complications and challenges in relationships. Otherwise, if there’s no conflict, you don’t have a show. But certainly, my intention moving forward is to approach Zoey and Max dating and being together in a meaningful way, for them to try to work out their differences and their challenges together.

TVLINE | It seemed like a very deliberate and mature choice to have Zoey come to the airport and not stand in the way of Max and Rose. But then it ends up being on Max to make the first move. So how did you come to the conclusion that that’s the way the chain of events needed to go? In the spirit of not wanting to pit women against women or men against men, and what that would actually look like if you approached someone outside of the airport and said, “Pick me over her,” it’s pretty dramatic. I also felt like there was a delightful mislead that she hears him sing “When a Man Loves a Woman,” and she thinks that’s about Rose, and fundamentally, Max’s happiness is what’s more important to Zoey, and she doesn’t want to take that away from him. And so even though the reveal at the end is that he was actually singing that song about Zoey, I think that Zoey and Max have always had the other person’s best interest in mind, as evidenced when he gave up the job for her in the last episode. So I think for her, that was that wakeup call moment, where his happiness was more important to her than maybe her own loss in that moment.

TVLINE | You set up a really wonderful romance for Mo this season. Is there anything you can hint about what we could expect in a Season 3, if that goes forward? Part of the design of the season was to wrap up certain chapters in these characters’ lives or at least put some conclusion on it, but also set the path forward for everybody. And for me, I’m really excited about Mo and Perry. I think David St. Louis has been a great addition to the cast as Perry. I’m really excited to see what it looks like for Mo to be in a real adult relationship, but also to be in a complicated adult relationship with kids and an ex-husband, and the prospect of a character who is kind of an independent, free character getting brought into a domestic life, and maybe getting a little bit more than he bargained for, kind of insta-family. There’s a lot of opportunity for comedy and drama within that.

And I’m really excited for the next chapter for Maggie, too, and this idea of Maggie, potentially, slowly dipping her toes back into the dating world… The idea of Maggie and Deb as partners in crime, and Maggie exploring the idea of how a woman of a certain age, what it actually looks like for her to try to go back into the dating world in a meaningful way, I think there are a lot of stories we can derive from that.

[zumpietoo]

Here’s the thing that Milly/Zelda/Kombucha/Dazey/Lisa/etc and all the socks in their drawers combined don’t understand. It is 20fucking21. If Cole Sprouse was some horrible abuser of women, rather than just the victim of his unfortunate taste in headcases (aka Lili and Bree) – he would be CANCELLED. No army of teenage fans, no amount of popularity in Hollywood, nothing could protect him in this day and age. If Bree had the receipts she and her fans claim she does… where are they? Why hasn’t she come forward properly instead of vague posting about Cole on Tumblr/Twitter/Insta/Twitch/wtfever? Why did all of their mutual friends side with Cole during their breakup? Clearly these people don’t remember when the Bree shit hit the fan. People were ready with RECEIPTS of her fuckery… the head games SHE played, all of her jealous stalking (which she also stalked Lili for a while!!), how she shit all over things that made him happy because they didn’t include her, how she told everyone he emotionally abused her when the reality was she thought they were going to get married and be 2GETHER4EVER (at 19 lmao ok), and then when it turned out he just kind of wanted a girlfriend to have sex with and play video games with (lmao like MOST 19 year old guys), she flipped the fuck out and called it emotional abuse. People had all her crazy documented back then, went after her across multiple platforms, and she ended up deleting everything and claiming it was “his stans” that made it impossible for her to come forward which… no… she just didn’t actually HAVE anything, no proof, nothing. Meanwhile, all of their mutual friends unfollowed her, if not immediately then definitely in the years following. The only reason Bree drops his name anymore is because it’s the only way she stays even close to relevant. It’s not because he actually abused her, mentally, emotionally or otherwise… it’s because she’s a tinkerbell who can’t deal with it when she’s not the most important thing in someone’s universe and when that turned out to be the case with Cole, she threw a bunch of accusations at him, stalked his new girlfriend (Lili at the time) etc. But never EVER in all that did she produce an ounce of proof. No friends that sided with her. No texts. No nothing. Because none of what she claimed ever actually happened.

Fast forward to Lili and we have the same issue. If Lili was the victim of Cole’s horrible emotional abuse… she’d put his ass on blast so fast. Lili has ZERO problem speaking her mind. She shit talks like it’s going out of style, and if she was the golden child of Riverdale, and was loved and adored by the producers and writers and RAS and the rest of the cast, and was the welcome wagon and all of the other stuff that her stans claim, if she went to ANY leadership and said “This is what happened, it was horrible, and I cannot be around my abuser like this” the CW would fire him. Or at least work to accomodate Lili if she was that beloved. Look at how fast they got rid of Ruby Rose on Batwoman when it turned out she was a nightmare behind the scenes? And she was the literal STAR of the show. And isn’t their narrative that the show leadership can’t stand Cole anyway (some of that is true, looking at you RAS and Ted especially, but that’s not because Cole is a nightmare to work with and more because KJ isn’t the fan favorite which, whatever)? Also if Lili DID get the network/show to give him the boot, which if he was abusive to her, she absolutely could, what would Cole do? Sue for breach of contract? When she should have mountains of proof after 3 years? When no doubt the show would’ve seen this behavior happening too? Like, what is their REASONING that Lili suffered and continues to suffer all of this grief that he’s supposedly causing her by flaunting Ari, etc? If she had proof, if anyone had seen all of this happening, they could’ve gotten him bounced in a heartbeat. Look at how fast ALL of Hollywood turned on Armie Hammer? Kevin Spacey’s accuser came forward 30 years after the fact, with almost zero proof and Hollywood cancelled him so fast. This isn’t the early 2000’s or even the early 2010’s anymore. It is 2021 and if Cole was really that horrible, people in the industry would know, and no one would work with him. But instead he’s still booking photography work, he’s still booking movies (two of them, Moonshot and Undercover), he’s inking deals with production companies. His past coworkers are excited to see him when they run into him on the street. Practically everyone who works with him says what a hard working professional he is (or they don’t say anything at all). His podcast that he helped produce and starred in won one of THE awards for podcasts, and is most likely getting a second season. And what has Lili done? Her poetry book was on the NYT Best sellers list for a week and then fell off. Chemical Hearts flopped HARD (to the point where she was recently pimping it MONTHS after it released). Covergirl filmed one commercial with her and did one print photoshoot with her, and then basically cut ties, having Lili put together her own photoshoots. Even if she didn’t buy her way onto PlusMinus or whatever it’s called, she still has 1 movie coming up and nothing else. Nothing even in the works that we know about. She’s the only one promoting Riverdale at all anymore because she has nothing else to fall back on. Honestly, the only reason she has pretty much any engagement anymore is because of her dog, who I actually think might be more popular than she is now. AND on top of all that, her recent whatever with Wallis apparently already has drama while Cole and Ari remain unbothered despite Ken and that other pap being dicks and all of the hate they Cari lobbed at them on a daily basis. Like, sorry Lili stans that she’s on the brink of irrelevancy, but if she had been abused and had her head fucked with like you all claim she has, she’d be lighting Cole up on social media because people would believe her, proof or no proof. Instead, she’s hanging with people who “only validate” her, including a toxic drunk bitch who basically trashed not only Cole but also Dylan at like, 3 in the morning all because Lili had to do a scene with her ex, and her mom who is KNOWN for feeding the fandom BS lies that she later gets caught out in. She’s trickling out a self-staged photoshoot because she hasn’t booked a real one in what? A year? She has 1 movie, and relies on her dog or breadcrumbing with another B-list actress to get her likes. I know its a tough pill to swallow for them and that’s why they’ve doubled down on the crazy so hard lately, but honestly it’s just sad now. There’s zero proof that Cole is anything they say, and if there was proof, Bree and especially Lili would be shouting it from the rooftops, but it doesn’t exist. There IS plenty of proof that Lili has zero work lined up, and a new drama filled relationship, and toxic friends (and that she cheated on Sam to be with Cole… something else they have absolutely NO PROOF of Cole doing). Sucks to be them I guess.

Even their concept of “abuse” consists of “Cole moving on and living his best life/OMG Cheater!!!”

And the latter applies to Lili, not Cole....