#221bluescarf.txt

[221bluescarf]

if you *really* want to try and understand psychosis, I always offer the experience of dreaming.

Almost everyone on the planet dreams, and I find it to be a perfect comparison for psychosis... Anything can happen in a dream and you don't question it. This is your reality. If you're suddenly an astronaut, you don't typically question it. If there's suddenly a dragon, you don't typically question it. A monster can crawl out of the bushes or a stranger can appear in your house. Anyone can be someone they're not. Danger can come from anywhere. A pleasant dream can easily become a nightmare.

The only difference is that you wake up in the morning and it's over. And most people don't judge you for it. When you "wake up" from psychosis, there's often shame and people judge you.

[221bluescarf]

My Psychosis Survival Guide

Things from my coping box that might benefit you too. Like any other skill, many of these things can be used to help any other mental health problem. This is just my own list of things I use in addition to seeing my pdoc and taking my meds:

Art

Grounding is my first and most effective coping skill. Among the skills in the grounding category, coloring and doodling are my favorites (bonus if you can color-in doodles you've made yourself) but any art will do, like painting or making collages.

This can distract you from hallucinations and keep your mind occupied to stop dwelling on paranoid or delusional thoughts. Art therapy is known to reduce anxiety and depression too, which is common with psychotic disorders.

Instrumental music

LoFi is my favorite. Something calming can reduce anxiety and help you rest or sleep, which is good for a brain bombarded with the psychotic experience. Lyrics can sometimes trigger unwanted thoughts and some people even find that the lyrics change and suddenly have special meaning, so this is avoided with instrumental music.

Some LoFi music has other sound effects which can help auditory hallucinations to blend in and be less intrusive. Cafe vlogs are excellent for this, as they have a background of people talking and kitchen appliances being used which disguise mild and pesky hallucinations.

Putty

It can be Silly Putty, Thinking Putty, or whatever you can find. Some of them change colors, some of them are even scented. This is excellent grounding. It involves your senses and you can completely turn off your brain and just play with it in your hands. It's also great as a fidget tool.

Letters to yourself

Writing letters to yourself while you're in a good and healthy mindset can be valuable to look back on while in a psychotic episode. Give yourself a pep talk. Remind yourself that this is real life, remind yourself of why these thoughts are irrational and why you really can trust your friends and family, etc.

I find it useful to write about past delusions, so that when similar ones happen, I have "proof" that this is unreasonable and I'm less likely to fall for it (nothing is perfect. sometimes I'll still believe the delusion despite everything, but it helps)

A list of people who can help

Keep a list of friends or family who are aware of your diagnosis and who are ready to help you if you're struggling. Keep the numbers to these people in case you chuck your phone. Also include the numbers to your doctor, therapist, social worker, or anyone else you may need to reach when you're unable to use your own phone. (It's also good to have these listed in case you get hospitalized and are unable to have your phone)

Also if you're dealing with paranoia around your phone, some people find it comforting to use WhatsApp because it's encrypted unlike text messages.

I hope these are helpful

[221bluescarf]

[221bluescarf]

Everyone with mental illness is going to be better or worse in different areas. Even neurotypical people are better in some areas than another.

Some can work, some can't. Some can live alone, some can't. Some can drive, some can't. Some can put on a mask, some can't. Some can cook, engage in hobbies, read books, do chores, eat without purging, maintain hygiene, care for pets, go shopping, ignore hallucinations, manage delusions, be self-aware, find meds that work, rely on a support system... some can't.

Your best and your worst can even vary from one day to the next.

Don't compare yourself to others

And don't compete with others either

[221bluescarf]

Someone in the group chat asked if there might be a hotlines for psychosis (since regular hotlines are unhelpful even in the best of circumstances) and look what I found

Psychosis hotline: 866-903-3787

szaction.org helpline: 800-493-2094

[221bluescarf]

You know what's really not helpful sometimes?

Minimizing someone's symptoms

"I heard voices" ⁠—don't say oh it was probably the TV or, you know, the walls are really thin. Maybe you heard someone...

"I thought invisible people watched me in the shower, so I showered with clothes on" ⁠—don't say well that's normal, I used to be uncomfortable changing in front of photos because it feels like they can see me. I just started telling myself "whatever" and got over it

There's 2 reasons for this (probably more, but I'm focusing on 2)

1. It can make it even harder to distinguish reality.

Could it be the radio? Yes it's within the realm of possibility. But if I tell you I'm hearing voices and you dismiss it as a real sound... Now when I hear voices I think: Well, is it real? Is there someone there? There must be a real sound or someone in the house. He said it's not a hallucination. Are they real? Are the demons here? It might even encourage a delusion

2. A lot of us are already have imposter syndrome or are in denial of our illness

We are either inclined to believe we're not sick at all, or we are afraid we're faking or exaggerating. If you try to normalize our experiences... maybe it's not really psychosis? Maybe I wasn't having an episode? Maybe I'm not sick at all!

Is it possible someone could mistake a common or "normal" thought/fear for psychosis or paranoia? Yeah maybe. But those people aren't getting diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Anyway. That's just my thoughts.

[221bluescarf]

Remember the time an old lady tried to hug me and I actually pushed her because I thought she was a shape-shifting monster?

Yeah I think about that more often than I'd like to

But these are the kind of things people will use against you to say people with schizophrenia are violent.

No one should stick their head in the sand and say people in psychosis are never ever going to hurt anyone. The truth is that, yes, people in psychosis can be "violent" when they're scared or delusional just like anyone else who's scared or confused. That doesn't make them monsters or serial killers.

People with schizophrenia or any psychotic disorder are just as likely to be violent as the general population. They're much more likely to be victims, but every time a psychotic person does something bad the media and everyone have a magnifying glass over it and ignore the 200 other reports of violent crimes by "regular" people. Yeah schizophrenia symptoms can cause someone to become dangerous but that's no reason to lump together so many innocent and suffering people and treat them all like criminals and ticking time bombs.

[221bluescarf]

photo credit

[221bluescarf]

I hate how easily a psychotic disorder can taint an experience. Simple things like going for a walk, watching TV, or even taking a nap can become ruined by psychosis.

When I'm symptomatic and I watch TV, they're either talking to me or they're looking at me or they're thinking about me. Often I can hear their thoughts. It goes something like "there's a girl out there, her name is x, and I'm thinking about her" over and over and over... It may sound silly but when it happens it's so upsetting to me. It makes me anxious and panicky and I just want to bury myself.

Such simple and normal experiences, that no doubt get taken for granted, get turned upside down. Not many people appreciate this. If you have a friend or family member with psychosis who seems agitated or upset, ask them if they're ok and don't judge them no matter what their answer is. It may sound silly or crazy, but if you knew what it felt like you wouldn't be quick to write it off. We just want your love and support. It means the world.

[221bluescarf]

[221bluescarf]

Wow what a mood

[221bluescarf]

me: I really just wish my brain would work properly

🧠: lol no

[221bluescarf]

I don't have hobbies. I have ideas and things I aspire to do that live in my head until I get the focus and motivation to do them... which is never

[221bluescarf]

[221bluescarf]

[221bluescarf]

Hello there!

When you have the spoons, could you give me a beginners guide to bipolar and what the differences are between types 1 & 2? Dont worry, Im not holding you to some scientific or doctorate level of information. More like... what are things you wish you knew or understood about the diagnoses sooner?

Hi! Ok I hope it's ok if this will be long...

For context I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder 7 times by different psychiatrists/hospitals, the most recent one changing it to schizoaffective bipolar. What I'll say is my own experience (an experience that is also shared by others I know)

I don't know what I would say as a beginners guide... I guess it's important to start by knowing bipolar isn't being sad sometimes and happy sometimes. Bipolar is a pattern of alternating between 2 mood states: depression and mania (or hypomania) each state encapsulating a host of symptoms.

As far as type 1 vs type 2... The difference between the two lies in the mania. Bipolar 2 has hypomania and Bipolar 1 has mania. Both have depression. the depression in both types can be severe and the severity of the depression does not indicate type 1 or 2.

Hypomania is a less impairing version of mania, but it still has a specific set of symptoms and criteria that make it different from just a "good mood". Both hypomania and mania are abnormal states.

Mania is going to be disruptive, impairs functioning, usually causes damage, and can often lead to hospitalization. It's not uncommon for mania to have psychosis with it.

They can both have increased energy and restlessness, racing thoughts, distractibility, pressured speech, grandiosity, feeling overly energetic despite a couple hours or no sleep, irritability, and aggression.

But the easiest way for me to explain is to re-create the scenario.

Hypomania: Getting 1 hour of sleep and still feeling energized, wanting to be active at all hours. Going on a $300 shopping trip I can't really afford. Feeling like everything is brighter, music is alive, and I'm the best artist. Getting kinda snippy. Cleaning the whole house and volunteering to clean other people's houses.

Mania: zero sleep for 48 or 72 hours at a time, not being able to stop moving, feeling on fire and as if I might explode if I ever stop. Spending thousands a.k.a. my entire savings on odd things like duplicates of the same items. Scratching myself bloody because my skin hurts, crying and laughing at the same time. I start tasks and abandon them as soon as I start, leaving a mess. Music becomes an obsession, the lyrics are speaking to me and telling me to do things. Everyone is mocking me. Anger outbursts, violent at times, including road rage incidents.

Both of these end abruptly and plummet into severe depression.

I don't know what I wish I knew... I guess I wish I knew how hard it would be to manage it. Having to keep everything in my life stable in order to keep myself stable. I thought if I just had the right pill I'd go back to "normal".

I also wish I'd known if you have mania you can't "pump the brakes". I kept trying to trigger hypomania in myself thinking I could accomplish so much. But in reality I would hit mania and accomplish nothing. I just spin my wheels, become a volcano, and everything falls apart. I still fall for it sometimes though.

I hope that's somewhat helpful.