#23k notes and its all for them

[karatekamania]

everyone has lost their reblog privileges on account of being too annoying. god bless!

[asahicore]

bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue. 

--

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question. 

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth. 

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?” 

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?” 

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.” 

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.” 

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both. 

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back. 

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

--

You see Jake before he sees you.  

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name. 

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest. 

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders. 

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all. 

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm. 

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode. 

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone. 

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then. 

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms. 

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.” 

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds. 

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask. 

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head. 

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter. 

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long. 

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips. 

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed. 

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you. 

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

--

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni. 

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them. 

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything. 

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing. 

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?” 

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

--

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former. 

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine. 

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl. 

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app. 

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat. 

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face. 

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours. 

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

--

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals. 

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu. 

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently. 

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it. 

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night. 

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!” 

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug. 

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion. 

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face. 

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls. 

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning. 

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you. 

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there. 

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now. 

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project. 

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered. 

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.” 

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.” 

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.” 

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again. 

--

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors. 

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being. 

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one. 

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.  

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you. 

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.  

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks. 

--

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you. 

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad. 

--

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.” 

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says. 

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter. 

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again. 

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided. 

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

--

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night. 

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake. 

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low. 

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face. 

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again. 

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today. 

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin. 

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water. 

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed. 

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno. 

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back. 

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you. 

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own. 

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets. 

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before. 

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

--

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment. 

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?” 

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice. 

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way. 

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold. 

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again. 

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you. 

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you. 

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness. 

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy. 

And this is only the beginning.

--

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun. 

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time. 

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face. 

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy. 

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back. 

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging). 

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely. 

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks. 

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you  with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains. 

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you. 

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.  

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well. 

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once. 

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite. 

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts. 

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes. 

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again. 

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines. 

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours. 

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt. 

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway. 

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer. 

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe. 

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine. 

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.” 

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

--

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.  

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards. 

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

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[saythenametotheworld]

Risk | l.jn [2]

Is this how it feels to fall for someone and slowly lose your shit? You wondered, heart racing and mind spinning, as your seemingly innocent attraction for Jeno began spiraling out of control.

Genre: college au; crush-at-first-sight Pairing: NCT Lee Jeno x afab!Reader Warnings: slow burn, mature themes, suggestive Notes: 23k words. I kept revising this like a madwoman my god. The song prompt for this part was Buzz by NIKI. Go check it out bcs it sums this whole thing up T^T

[Part 1]

It was in the little moments that your feelings for Jeno began to deepen. As you grew closer, spending time together felt effortless. There was no need to rack your brain for excuses to talk to him or find ways to be in the same room. He was simply there, seamlessly becoming a constant presence in your daily life, especially with your friends.

You often found yourselves in the library, working on different tasks but always making time to chat. You discovered that he liked the library because it was quiet, and he could catch up on sleep without the staff telling him to leave.

“What about you, Most Diligent Reader of the Year?” he teased, flashing a mischievous grin.

“Third Most Diligent Reader of the Year,” you corrected with a hint of pride. “I like it here for the same reason. And also because there are more books here than in the NCIT library.”

“How many of these have you read?” he asked, glancing around at the seemingly endless shelves of books.

“Definitely not all of them,” you admitted with a shrug, glancing at the shelves. “I tend to pick up books that catch my eye, especially the ones with pretty covers. But honestly, not all pretty books turn out to be as interesting—or even readable,” you added with a light laugh.

“Like that one?” He pointed to the hardbound book before you, a thick volume with gilded designs that looked both old and attractive.

You smiled sheepishly as you ran your fingers over the embossed title, Code de la Nature by Étienne-Gabriel Morelly—a French book. “Yeah, like this one.”

“What’s your favorite book?” he asked suddenly, catching you off guard.

You smiled playfully, feeling a bit coy. “I’ll tell you when we're closer.”

Scoffing, Jeno leaned back in his chair, nodding as if resigned. “You always say that.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him your favorite book; it was just that you couldn’t pick one on the spot. Even now, as you mulled it over quietly, no single title came to mind that you could confidently claim as your favorite.

“No, seriously,” you said, chuckling softly. “I’ll tell you when we’re closer.”

“Oh, yeah? Okay,” Jeno replied, his tone mockingly flat. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he used his foot to push your chair slightly away from him. “We’re not close, so stay there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. You loved these moments, where teasing and joking felt so effortless. In these little exchanges, you appreciated Jeno more, realizing how much his playful side brought out the best in you.

Banter eventually died down, and you both slipped into your own separate bubbles. You immersed yourself in your book, while he scrolled through his phone. There was no need for words or even glances, but the knowledge that he was there filled you with a giddy sense of joy.

Even as you lost yourself in the pages, your awareness of his presence never faded. It was satisfying, like everything was in its right place. Like you were supposed to be there with him at that very moment.

As the familiar strain in your eyes set in, you closed the book and placed it gently on the table. Blinking up at the ceiling to relax your vision, you glanced over to Jeno’s side of the table. He was already asleep, his head leaning against the windowsill, arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing his AirPods, and you could faintly hear music from them.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you watched him. You could get used to this, you thought. Just the two of you, together, even in silence.

“Enjoying the view?” a voice whispered from your right, making you jump in your seat and gasp softly.

You turned, startled, only to see Renjun watching you, his head propped on his elbow with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“What the fuck, Renjun,” you whispered back, one hand over your rapidly beating heart as you tried not to wake Jeno.

It wasn’t a far stretch to think Jeno might already be aware that you like him because some of your friends were relentless when it came to their teasing. While they respected your wishes of not having any of them wingmanning you, the exceptions and favors they would do for you were sometimes helpful.

For example, the boys had made a habit of eating lunch together with everyone—Jeno included. But even that was filled with teasing from Haechan specifically.

“Baby girl has arrived!” Haechan announced as you were walking towards them at the food court, his voice loud enough to catch the attention of the entire table.

You narrowed your eyes at him, annoyed by his provocation, but then you saw Jeno there and your gaze softened in recognition. He smiled at you, which you shyly returned as you approached.

“Let’s see. Where would she sit today?” Haechan asked teasingly, batting his eyelashes. 

Across him, Jaemin was gleaming with mischief. “Next to me, maybe?”

You scoffed just as Kayla was leaning in to say, “Or maybe she’ll just sit next to me and break your heart.”

“As if,” Renjun interjected. “Your heart would break first from the disappointment.”

Jaemin, not one to miss an opportunity, leaned across the table with a dramatic sigh. “You know, it’s so hard being this good-looking. I’d understand if you really wanted to sit next to me. It’s alright.”

You snorted, shoving Jaemin playfully. “In your dreams, Jaemin. And seriously, stop with the flirting—it’s getting old.”

Renjun smirked, catching Jeno’s eye. “There’s space next to Jeno. Why doesn’t she just decide for herself?”

“Yeah, let’s see who she picks,” Jaemin chimed in, leaning in closer with a playful grin. “Come on, pick me, I’ll make it worth your while.”

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, Mark appeared beside you, having just returned with a drink, and patted your back before sliding next to Jaemin. “Not while I’m sitting here.”

Jeno, unfazed as usual, pulled out the chair next to him and patted it without a word.

Despite your best efforts to hide it, you felt your cheeks heat up as you took the offered seat, trying to ignore the knowing looks from the rest of the group.

Being close to Jeno like this felt so natural, yet it always left you a little flustered. The warmth of his presence next to you made your heart race in a way you were starting to crave.

Even amidst the chatter and teasing, you found yourself hyper-aware of the subtle brush of his arm against yours, the way his smile lingered as he glanced your way. You wondered if he noticed how your breath hitched slightly when he leaned in just a bit closer to say something to Renjun.

Sienna, who had been quietly watching the exchange with an amused smile, finally chimed in. “You guys really have too much energy at lunchtime,” she remarked, shaking her head. “Can’t we just eat like normal people?”

“Normal people?” Jaemin echoed, raising an eyebrow. “You’re sitting with us. Normal isn’t really on the menu.”

“Well, it is if you’re ordering a salad,” Haechan quipped, pointing at the plate in front of you. “What’s with the rabbit food anyway? Trying to impress someone?”

“It’s called being healthy, Haechan,” you replied with mock seriousness. “You should try it sometime. Your future self will thank you.”

“Oh, I’m plenty healthy,” Haechan shot back, grabbing a fry from Renjun’s plate. “Healthy enough to eat whatever I want and still look this good.”

“Mmhm, shame that doesn’t help with the bad personality,” Renjun muttered, earning a snort from Jaemin and Kayla. Mark was straight-up hollering.

“You wound me, Renjun,” Haechan said, clutching his chest dramatically. “But I’ll recover because I know you’re just jealous of my charm.”

“Charm?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

Haechan smirked at you. “Can I punch you in the face? Just this once?”

“Come here and try then!” you challenged, lifting your chin proudly.

“Yes, yes,” Sienna joined in. “Let’s punch each other in the face like kids. For now, can we eat in peace?”

The conversation shifted to weekend plans and upcoming exams, but every now and then, Haechan would throw in a comment that made you want to either disappear or throw your drink at him. Renjun joined in, his sarcastic remarks often aimed at both you and Jeno, while Jaemin continued his exaggerated flirting, much to your amusement. But through it all, Jeno remained cool and composed, either playing along with the banter or deflecting it with his quick wit.

After lunch, as everyone began to disperse, you casually stood next to Jeno, knowing you’d be heading to the same class.

“Heading to class?” he asked, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, you?” you replied, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He nodded. “Should we go together?”

You shrugged, channeling an aloof attitude to hide the crazy pounding in your chest. “Okay.”

The walk was filled with light conversation—classes, weekend plans. Unlike when you were with the group, the conversation with Jeno felt more subdued, and comfortable.

As you reached the building where your class was, a sudden realization hit you, stopping you in your tracks. Horror washed over your face as you remembered that today was the day you were getting the results for the woodworking project. “What happens if we fail that project?”

“Fail it?” he questioned, slightly caught off guard by the shift in your tone. “I don’t think we will. I mean…” he trailed off, seemingly considering the possibility. “We did good, didn’t we?”

Your question lingered, feeding your anxiety. “Yeah but… what if?”

He shrugged, an uncertain smile tugging at his lips. Then, with a reassuring touch, he went to stand behind you, placing firm hands on your shoulders as he gently pushed you inside the classroom. “Let’s go inside and find out.”

As you felt his hands on your shoulders, a warm comfort spread through you, easing the knots of worry in your stomach. His confidence was comforting, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to believe that everything would turn out okay.

Lunchtime, since then, had become a cherished opportunity to be near Jeno. Every time he entered the cafeteria, your heart would skip a beat. Some days, even when the boys weren’t around, he would join your table, casually sliding into the seat beside you.

“Mind if I sit here?” he’d ask, already halfway settled in.

“Not at all,” you’d reply, your voice steady despite the flutter in your chest, as you scooted over to give him space.

His presence was electrifying. You found yourself hanging onto his every word, laughing at his jokes, and savoring the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Each sighting, each interaction, sent a rush of warmth through you, your heart skipping at the thought of being close to him.

One day, he walked over with that familiar smile. “Hey, you doing anything after school?”

You shook your head, striving to appear casual. “Not really. Why?”

“There’s this new coffee shop that opened up nearby. Wanna check it out?”

Your heart leaped. Was this it? Was he asking you out on a date?

The thought sent a thrill through you, and you had to force yourself to keep your voice steady. “Sure, sounds fun.”

As the two of you walked to the coffee shop after school, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was a date. Maybe not. If it was, shouldn’t he have said so? Then again, what if he was too shy to ask directly?

The idea made your heart race. You imagined sitting across from him, just the two of you, talking and laughing over coffee. The thought of it being something more than just another hangout with a friend was enough to make you giddy.

However, as soon as you arrived at the cafe, the giddy smile on your lips was replaced by a deep scowl. Inside, your friends were already gathered around a large table, waving you over with bright smiles.

“Hey, you made it!” Sienna called out.

Jeno smiled and waved back, completely unfazed. You, on the other hand, tried to mask your disappointment as you followed him to the table. The cozy, intimate moment you had envisioned was quickly replaced by the familiar noise and energy of your group.

“I've brought her,” Jeno announced with a smile.

You glared at him, pretending to be annoyed. “What’s this? Were you conspiring with them?”

Jeno shrugged. “They told me to come here and asked that I bring you along.”

“Yeah, it’s a conspiracy,” you said, rolling your eyes as you took the vacant chair next to Kayla. 

“Don’t be mad at him,” Kayla chided softly. “You didn’t check the group chat, so we thought we should just ask Jeno to bring you since he’s coming too.”

“Just so you know, I didn’t read the GC on purpose,” you quipped, still pouting.

“Jesus Christ, woman,” Renjun exclaimed from across the table, rolling his eyes. “You’re too obvious. It’s actually embarrassing.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. Despite your initial disappointment, you found yourself enjoying the time with your friends at the café. It was fun, even when they casually dropped inside jokes about your crush—who was sitting right there. Thankfully, Jeno seemed completely oblivious. Or if he wasn’t, he didn’t show it.

“You’re coming to my birthday party next week, right?” Kayla asked, making you chuckle. She had asked the same question over a dozen times in the last few days.

“Yes, K. I am,” you groaned, linking your arm with hers as you walked back to NCIT.

“Good. Don’t forget.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Jaemin chimed in.

Ahead of you, Jeno was walking with Mark, Yangyang, and Renjun. Kayla tugged on Jeno’s backpack, making him glance over his shoulder at you.

“You’re coming too, right?” she asked.

“Of course. I’ll even buy you a gift,” he replied with a smile that made your heart flutter. “What do you want?”

It amazed you how quickly he had become close with your friends. Granted, he was already tight with the boys, but with Sienna and Kayla, Jeno seemed to have captured their fondness too. At this point, it was safe to say that he had become a permanent part of your friend group.

Your group dispersed as you entered the campus. Jeno walked to the Sci-Tech building with Mark, and Renjun. Sienna, Haechan, and Yangyang went their own way too, leaving you, Kayla, and Jaemin trailing slightly behind.

“So,” Kayla began, giving you a sly look. “Are you finally going to tell him?”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you shot her a warning glance. “Tell who what?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb,” she replied, nudging you. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Before you could respond, Jaemin slid up beside you with that signature grin. “Ah, the confession of the century. I’ve been waiting for this day.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to laugh it off. “You’re both ridiculous. It’s not like that.”

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Sure it’s not. That’s why you can barely look at him without blushing. You usually have that heart-eyes emoji thing going on when he’s around.”

Your eyes widened in mock indignation. “I do not! I’m not that obvious.

“Don’t be shy,” Jaemin continued, his tone playful. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to make me jealous. But I can’t blame you—I mean, have you seen me?” He wiggled his eyebrows, leaning closer with a flirtatious smile.

“Jaemin, drop it,” you muttered, though your voice lacked conviction.

But he was relentless, leaning in closer with a teasing smirk. “Admit it, you’ve got it bad for our dear Jeno.”

You sighed, unable to deny it any longer. “Fine, maybe I do. But it’s not like I can just tell him.”

Kayla gave you a sympathetic smile. “You never know. He might feel the same way.”

You hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “It’s not that easy, you know? What if he doesn’t? What will happen to my pride?”

Jaemin softened, though the teasing glint in his eye remained. “Well, if that’s the case, you still have me. I’d happily take you on a date. We’d have fun, I promise.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, pushing him away playfully. “In your dreams, Jaemin. You’d only drive me crazy.”

“Well, it depends. I could drive you crazy in love,” he shot back with a wink. “Or crazy good. You decide.”

You rolled your eyes again, though a smile tugged at your lips. “You’re impossible.”

“Only for you,” he replied smoothly, before softening his tone. “But seriously, you should just tell Jeno. Who knows? He might be into girls who adore him.”

“Shouldn’t you know that? He’s your friend from before,” Kayla asked.

“Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t pay attention to every little thing about him,” Jaemin replied. “It’s not like I was obsessed with him like someone.”

You exhaled sharply and started hitting his shoulder several times. “I am not obsessed with him! You dumb idiot!”

Jaemin ran away laughing and you chased after him. Kayla could only sigh and shake her head, watching the two of you run down the lengthy hallway of the Social Sciences building.

“I hope a professor catches them and gives them a good beating,” she murmured, chuckling darkly as she walked into her classroom.

Kayla’s house was a sprawling mansion with elegant decor and a large backyard. Although you’d known Kayla to have come from wealth, the grandeur of the house never failed to catch you off guard each time you came over.

As you entered the halls, you were greeted by a rowdy crowd—upbeat music, chatter, and laughter blending together noisily. The living room was transformed into a dance floor, with pulsating lights and a DJ set up in one corner. Nearby, a table was laden with an array of snacks and drinks. The air smelled of vape, perfumes, and alcohol, much like every other party you’d been to, except that this was a little more posh.

You came with Haechan and Sienna who disappeared into the crowd as soon as you got inside. You were only alone for a minute before someone dragged you into their circle. You joined a group playing air hockey and did shots with another group, wandering through the crowd, and soaking in the festive vibe. Despite the fun, a lingering thought occupied your mind—you hadn't seen Jeno yet.

Just when you were beginning to wonder if he didn’t show up, your eyes caught sight of Jeno. He was in one corner of the hall with some friends, engrossed in an intense video game match. 

You took a moment to observe him, feeling a flutter of excitement every time he threw his head back in laughter or shouted in triumph.

After a while, Jeno finally noticed you standing by the side of the room. His expression lit up with a smile as he excused himself from his friends and made his way over to you. 

“Hi there,” he said, his voice friendly and warm. “They said you were here but I didn’t see much of you all night.”

You returned his smile, trying to stay composed despite the flutter in your chest. “Well, have you taken your eyes off the video game at all tonight?”

That made Jeno chuckle heartily. “That’s probably why.” he said, casually leaning his shoulder against the wall beside you.

You shrugged, taking a sip from your cup and not meeting his gaze while he stared you down. “I’d be dead focused on the game too if I keep losing like you and Yangyang did.”

“Hey,” he chimed, laughing his indignation away. “I have won a few times.”

You hummed. “Not as much as you’ve lost.”

Jeno sighed, hanging his head low as he chuckled. When he glanced back at you, there was a playful glint in his eyes. “Fine, I’m not good at it. It’s not gonna make you like me less, is it?”

You froze, surprised by his question. Obviously, it wasn’t going to make you like him less. If anything, it made him more endearing. But why was he asking? Does he care about what you think of him?

Before you could respond, Yangyang called out to Jeno, and with a quick, apologetic glance, he said, “I gotta get back to the game. Catch you later?”

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as he rejoined his group. The excitement of the party continued around you, but your thoughts lingered on Jeno, his brief interaction with you, and the way he effortlessly made you feel special even in the middle of a crowded, lively party.

At 1 am, the party showed no sign of slowing down. Music blared, people danced wildly, and drinks flowed freely. Since Jeno’s brief greeting, you hadn't been able to speak with him. He was always surrounded by friends or caught up in the excitement of the party. Yet you couldn’t blame it on his popularity because even you were in the same situation. You found yourself moving through the crowd, getting dragged from circle to circle, and catching up with a lot of different people. You hardly saw Jeno, you couldn’t even get hold of your close friends.

“Fuck this,” you said, exhaling sharply and heading for the door. Before you could leave the hall, however, you heard someone shout, followed by some scuffling sounds.

In another part of the room, two boys were arguing heatedly, their voices growing louder and more aggressive. You recognized them, some studs that you never hung out with.

“Calm down, man,” one of them said, trying to defuse the situation. “It’s not worth it.”

The other boy wasn’t having any of it. “Stay out of this,” he snapped, shoving him away.

“Who do you think you are?” the first boy shot back, pushing him hard. The crowd around them began to murmur, sensing the situation escalating. Soon people from other parts of the house rushed to see what was happening.

Jeno, who was standing nearby, stepped in to mediate. “Hey, guys, let’s take it easy,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “We’re all here to have a good time.”

The angrier boy turned on Jeno, his eyes flashing with irritation. “This has nothing to do with you, Lee. Back off!”

Jeno stood his ground, approaching the boy and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Come on, man, it’s not worth it. Why don’t we call it a night? You can talk again when you’re sober.”

But the aggression had reached a boiling point. One of the boys, blinded by rage, swung his fist at the other. Jeno, caught in the crossfire, took the brunt of the punch. He staggered back, colliding with you.

A chorus of shocked exclamations rose from the crowd as you caught Jeno, your heart pounding with concern. “Jeno, are you okay?” you asked, your voice trembling as you tried to steady him.

Jeno winced, holding his cheek. He even managed a chuckle. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, though his expression showed he was in pain.

The fight behind you turned into an all-out brawl. The boys were grappling, fists flying, and the crowd around them was either trying to break it up or egging them on. Someone knocked over a table, sending drinks and snacks crashing to the floor. The noise level was deafening, with shouts, screams, and the thud of punches filling the air.

“Stop it! You’re hurting him!” a girl screamed, but her voice was lost in the chaos.

The room was a chaos of movement and noise. Then, the distant but unmistakable sound of police sirens cut through the noise, sending a ripple of panic through the crowd.

“It’s the cops!” someone yelled.

The party descended into mayhem as people scrambled to leave, darting out of the house and into the night. You and Jeno managed to slip out before the police arrived, finding a quiet spot away from the chaos. Kayla saw you and ushered you up the stairs. Jeno took your hand, guiding you upstairs and slipping into an open bedroom door. Inside, you found Mark and passed out on the bed.

“Good God,” you muttered, walking towards the bed only to be pulled back by Jeno. You glanced at your joined hands, and suddenly, the adrenaline from the chaos was replaced by butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.

“Who’s that?” he asked, peeking at the figure on the bed.

“It’s just Mark,” you told him, and he nodded in realization, letting go of your hand upon realizing it was safe.

“Sorry,” he said, looking around.

The bedroom was dimly lit—a stark contrast to the bright downstairs. The faint smell of spilled drinks lingered in the air, and the sound of distant voices and sirens could still be heard. 

“Thanks for helping me back there, by the way,” he added, his voice softer now.

“Anytime,” you said coolly, giving him a reassuring smile. “Well, it wasn’t intentional, honestly. You got thrown in my direction, so heh. But you’re welcome.”

Jeno laughed, despite the situation. “Are you saying you wouldn’t have helped if I wasn’t thrown in your direction?” he asked, purposely quoting your words.

“No! Of course, I’d help you!” you replied briskly, shaking your hand. “I would help even if you weren’t thrown in my direction. That is, if your other friends don’t get to you fast enough.” 

“Alright,” he chuckled. “It’s good to know you’ve got my back.”

“Like I said. Anytime.”

As you stood there, the remnants of the party fading into the background, you wondered if you should thank the boy who punched Jeno towards you, the person who called 911, or Kayla herself. After all, the unexpected turn of events had brought you a little closer to Jeno.

“You looked really cool, though,” you chimed, trying not to laugh. “Trying to break the fight and all.”

Jeno chuckled heartily. “Until I got punched in the face.”

“Until you got punched in the face, yes,” you echoed, laughing at his expense. “Props to you for trying.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling as he sank onto the bed next to Mark. 

Jeno patted the space next to him, and you hesitated for only a moment before sitting down. The bed dipped under your weight, and you both shared a quiet laugh as Mark stirred slightly but didn’t wake.

Lowering your voices to a near whisper, you and Jeno began to talk, careful not to disturb the sleeping Mark, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world outside had faded, leaving only the comforting sound of Jeno’s voice and the warmth of his presence beside you.

The cool air outside was refreshing, a welcome change from the stifling atmosphere inside Kayla’s house. You and Jeno walked side by side down the quiet sidewalk, bundled in jackets, hands tucked into your pockets against the cold. Kayla had initially planned for you and the girls to stay the night, but after catching sight of you with Jeno, she quickly changed her mind.

“You don’t want to miss your classes tomorrow,” she said with a knowing smile. You knew she was trying to get you some alone time with Jeno and her plan seemed to work when Jeno offered to walk you home.

You joked and talked as you walked, and Jeno’s laughter echoed softly in the stillness of the night. You found yourself smiling more than you had in days. Eventually, your conversation transitioned from school to your childhood. You exchanged stories, and Jeno shared funny anecdotes about his younger self. 

“Did I ever tell you about the time I got stuck in a tree?” Jeno asked, his eyes crinkling at the memory.

“Is this one of those stories where you climbed a tree thinking it’d be cool, only to realize later that you had no idea how to get down?”

Jeno chuckled heartily, eyes fixed on the path ahead. “Classic, isn’t it? I think every kid has done that at least once.”

“Not me,” you teased, imagining a younger Jeno, wide-eyed with wild energy. “So, how did you get down?”

“My mom had to call the fire department,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “They brought out this huge ladder, and the whole neighborhood came to watch. I was mortified.”

The image of a little Jeno being rescued from a tree was too much; you burst into laughter, the sound ringing out in the quiet night. Jeno laughed along with you, his shoulder gently bumping against yours as you walked.

“Also, I once got my head stuck in a banister at my grandparents’ house,” he added, laughing at the memory. “My dad had to cut them just to get me out.”

“The banisters, right?” you questioned, feigning concern. “You mean your dad cut the banisters, not your neck.”

Jeno burst out laughing, throwing his head back. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. It’s not even that funny.”

“Oh, it’s because your happiness is me,” you quipped, making Jeno laugh again. You chuckled, imagining a young Jeno stuck in such a predicament. “But seriously, your grandparents must have been furious.”

Jeno shook his head as he recovered from laughing. “Nah, they adored me. We just laugh about it now.”

You hummed, reminded of your own childhood misadventures. “Well, I once tried to build a treehouse all by myself. I was eleven.”

“Really?” he asked, amused. “How badly did you hurt yourself?”

You scoffed indignantly. “What made you think I hurt myself at all?”

He shrugged. “I’ve seen you with wood and tools. You could not build a treehouse with your skills. Not now, and certainly not when you were eleven.”

“You underestimate me too much,” you pouted and rolled your eyes, pretending to be offended. “The treehouse was actually nice. It just wasn’t sturdy enough to hold my weight, so I fell off the tree… With the whole house.”

“Ouch,” he winced playfully. “Did you get hurt?”

“Just a few scratches and a bruised ego,” you admitted with a smile. “I learned that some things are better done with help.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Exactly. It’s like our woodworking project. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Honestly, I think I would have done really bad without you.”

Jeno’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Well, you were the brains behind it. I was just there to follow your lead.”

“And by following my lead, you mean, doing all the work while I watch?” you retorted, making him laugh.

“Let’s put it this way; you’re the designer, I’m the manufacturer. Credit is 50/50. We both did a good job.”

You nodded, satisfied. “Alright. I’ll take it.”

The night seemed to stretch on, the walk home feeling both too short and wonderfully endless. With each passing minute, you found yourself enjoying his company more, appreciating the little things that made him so endearing.

As you approached your apartment complex, the conversation began to wind down. Jeno lingered, his gaze holding yours as if reluctant to say goodnight. There was a softness in his eyes, a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine despite the cold.

“Thanks for walking me here,” you said, your voice softer than you intended. “But are you gonna walk to your dorm alone?”

“No. It’s too far from here,” Jeno grinned and pulled out his phone. “I’ll call an Uber.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “We should have done that earlier! We walked like half a mile from Kayla’s!”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You lay awake on your bed after that, staring at the ceiling, replaying your conversations with Jeno. Every interaction danced through your mind, each word and gesture examined, searching for hints that there might be something more between you. It baffled you how much you liked him, how your affection seemed to grow with each passing day. The more you saw him, the longer you talked, the deeper you fell.

Jeno had been nothing but nice to you—sweet, even, and thoughtful too. Was it a far stretch to assume he might feel something for you as well? Was it too soon to think there was any meaning behind his actions? Probably. Being caring seemed to be second nature to Jeno.

He likely treated everyone the same way. Unless he explicitly said so or gave away his feelings through some unmistakable gesture, you knew better than to jump to conclusions and risk ruining what you had.

But what if he did harbor feelings for you?

You turned to your side, clutching the edge of the pillow. The idea of Jeno being here beside you filled your mind. His presence would warm the room, his voice would soothe your thoughts, and you could share your dreams with him. The thought of his touch, his laughter, and his guileless smile became a comforting fantasy you yearned to make real.

“So? How far did you two go last night?” Kayla asked the next day, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. You were at her house because she’d invited you to hang out with Sienna and Olive after class.

“Who?” Sienna questioned, scooting closer to you on the couch.

“Jeno walked her home last night,” Olive chimed in.

Sienna’s jaw dropped before she started squealing and playfully hitting your shoulder. Kayla was grinning from ear to ear, and you could already imagine the teasing you were about to endure.

“Tell us! Tell us! Tell. Us!”

You shrugged nonchalantly, trying to suppress your giddiness. “We went as far as our feet could take us, which was our apartment. Then he called for an Uber and left.”

Olive scoffed, chuckling as if you had just told her a joke. “Funny. Now tell us what really happened?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “I hate to break it to you, girls, but that’s all that happened.”

Kayla’s brows furrowed in confusion. “That’s it? Y’all finally had some alone time and that was it?”

You shrugged again while Olive tutted at you. “Girl, you need to up your flirting game.”

“I don’t know,” you said, biting your lip. “I’m scared. He seems interested, but sometimes it feels like he was genuinely just being friendly.

Olive crossed her arms. “If Jeno wasn’t interested in you even a little, why would he walk you home? Half a mile, in the opposite direction to his dorm?”

You paused, considering Olive’s point. “Maybe he was just being nice?”

Kayla shook her head. “Nice, sure. But walking a girl home after a party? That’s more than just being nice. The boy was trying to earn himself some good points.”

Sienna leaned in, her voice softer. “You should be more forward. Let him see that you’re interested.”

“How do I even do that?” you asked, sighing in frustration. “Actually, I’m not sure I want to do that at all. I don’t know.”

Sienna’s smile was sweet, her eyes gleaming with fond affection toward you. “You know what? You’re right. Don’t,” she said, slumping next to you on the couch, squishing you between her and Kayla.

“Just be yourself. If he likes you, he’ll come to you. Don’t be afraid to flirt a little. Compliment him, laugh at his jokes if they’re funny. Maybe show interest in him from time to time,” Olive added.

“O, she’s interested in him all the time,” Kayla teased, leaning her head on your shoulder.

Olive nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I forgot about that bit.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination. “Alright, I got it. Be myself. Awkward and shy around him.”

Kayla pouted beside you. “You’re not awkward and shy. You’re fun, smart, and adorable. I’m sure Jeno knows that by now.”

Olive clapped her hands together. “And if he doesn’t see that, well, I have an array of boys better than Jeno. I’ll introduce you to all of them if I have to.”

“As if she’d waste a breath on anyone that’s not Jeno Lee,” Sienna scoffed.

“Fair point.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “You guys are really something else.”

Kayla grinned. “What can we say? We live vicariously through you. The whole cutesy, romcom-ish, borderline obsessive admiration for a crush thing isn’t something we would experience. Given our personalities.”

“Right.” Olive nodded enthusiastically. “So we expect regular updates!”

You found it harder to keep your feelings at bay. Every interaction with Jeno seemed to push you further into the realm of deep affection. You’d catch yourself daydreaming about him during class, your mind wandering to the idea of what could be if only you were brave enough to make a move.

The realization that you were falling for him was both exhilarating and terrifying. And every day, you felt as though you were losing your mind. Every night, you pined and whined, hoping and dreaming that he was lying there with you instead of wherever he might be spending his nights.

One time, he fell asleep in class, his head resting on his arms. The soft rise and fall of his breathing was almost hypnotic. You knew you should wake him up, but he looked so peaceful and, honestly, too cute to disturb.

You sat there, just watching him for a few moments, your eyes tracing the curve of his lashes and that adorable mole under his eye. It was one of those small details you found yourself enchanted by each time you saw him up close. 

Your hand moved instinctively, fingers itching to touch the tiny mark. Just as you were about to give in to the temptation, your heart pounded with the realization of how close you were.

What would it mean if you crossed that line? You hesitated, your fingers hovering, before deviating to poke his shoulder instead.

Your touch made his eyes flutter open. He blinked a few times, confused, then smiled sleepily at you. “Please tell me I didn’t sleep through the whole class,” he mumbled, his voice soft and groggy.

You smiled back, your heart racing as you shook your head. “Not on my watch.”

Jeno slowly sat up, groaning quietly as he stretched his limbs under the table. “Thanks.”

You responded with a smile, trying to focus on the lecture. Mr. Harris was talking about cabinetry, introducing the basics and whatnot. Last week, he announced the results of the woodworking project. Everyone got full marks for accomplishing the tasks, but only those with high votes got special awards. You and Jeno came third, which was slightly disappointing but still impressive.

In your peripheral vision, you could see Jeno’s hand sliding a small paper bag towards you. Before you could react, you felt his warm presence on your side and caught a whiff of his perfume before you heard him whispering in your ear. “For you,” he said, his breath tickling your ear.

He moved away immediately, and you glanced sideways at him with a confused expression. He smiled, leaning back in his chair as he nodded toward the paper bag. Curiosity piqued, you opened the bag to find a beautifully crafted cylindrical wooden pen holder. It was simple and minimalistic, but the amount of time and attention put into making it was evident in the clean edges and beautiful varnishing. 

“What’s this for?” you asked stupidly, heart swelling with emotions.

“For your many many pens at home,” he said, scooting closer to you and propping his elbows on the table.

Your fingers traced the smooth surface of the object, marveling at the craftsmanship. “Did you make this?” you asked, your voice tinged with awe.

Jeno nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. “We had some scrap wood from the last project, and I thought throwing it away would be a waste of good material.”

Your heart melted at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you, Jeno. It’s perfect. I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You said thank you,” he chimed. “It’s enough. You’re welcome.”

As the day wore on, your mind kept drifting back to the pen holder and Jeno's thoughtful gesture. You replayed the moment in your head, examining every detail, every word, every glance. Why did he do it? What was it for? Was it a sign that Jeno liked you back? Or was it simply a kind act from a friend?

The next day at lunch, you placed the paper bag on the table for Sienna and Kayla to see. The two of them gawked at it for a few seconds before shooting curious gazes at you. Sighing, you opened it to reveal the pen holder from Jeno.

“Jeno gave it to me. For my pens,” you told them, clenching your fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

“Aw,” Kayla lilted, taking it in her hands to examine it. “He knows about your pen obsession?”

“I mentioned it in passing,” you replied, biting your lower lip. “Once.”

“Did he make this?” asked Sienna and you nodded in response. “No way?”

“Yes, he did,” you sang. “Or so he says.”

“You don’t look happy about it though,” Kayla asked, inspecting your expression.

Groaning, you gently hit your forehead on the table and looked back up at your friends helplessly. “That’s the thing. I am happy about it. Too happy, even. I feel like, like… like I’m floating and falling at the same time. My heart is full but it also hurts in a weird not painful kind of way. I can’t explain it!”

“Slow down,” Sienna goaded, patting your shoulder. “Tell us what happened in detail.”

You took a deep breath and chugged the glass of water in front of you before answering. “We were in class and he was asleep so I woke him up. And then out of nowhere, he gave me this bag and said it was for me.”

“Did he carry this around all day?” Kayla questioned.

“Does it matter?” you asked back.

Sienna heaved a sigh. “It does! You were already in class. He even fell asleep in there. But he waited until later to give it to you? Why didn’t he give it to you as soon as you saw each other?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“What else did he say?”

You shook your head. “Nothing, I… I thanked him and then that’s it. After class, we said goodbye.”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Kayla. “This is a clear hint—no. It’s not just a hint. It’s an evidence. Jeno likes you.”

“Okay, let me stop you there,” you told her, raising a palm to her face. “I am already in that route which is why I am losing my mind right now.”

Kayla grinned, unfazed. “Fine, fine. But think about it, he made this for you. He spent time and effort on it. That has to mean something.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of your emotions. “I just don't want to get my hopes up. What if I'm reading too much into it?”

Kayla handed the pen holder back to you, a sympathetic smile on her face. “What if you’re not? What do you have to lose if you just… jump in?”

You shook your head, mouth gaping open out of sheer bafflement. “I don’t know. My mind?”

Sienna looked over your shoulder and then tapped your arm urgently. “Jeno. Jeno’s coming.”

“What?” you blurted, straightening up and tucking his ‘gift’ away. Before you could turn your head to take a look behind you, Jeno was already sliding onto the chair next to you.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, but he was already setting his tray down. Kayla was quick to stop him, holding the edge of his tray.

“Actually, we do mind,” she grinned, batting her eyelashes playfully.

Jeno seemed confused, glancing at you and then back at Kayla. “Alright?”

“Yeah, we’re having a really important conversation about her love life,” Kayla added, motioning to you. You pointed a finger at yourself, gawking at Kayla cluelessly. “We are, aren’t we?”

Technically, she was right. You glanced at Jeno and scrunched your nose apologetically at him. “Yeah. We are.”

There was a flicker of annoyance on Jeno’s face, though you thought you’d imagined it. His hand hesitated as he lifted the tray, and he glanced at you again before resigning with a small sigh. “Alright then,” he said quietly, slinging his backpack back to his shoulder. “I won’t bother you.”

You nodded, waving as he walked away, but a part of you felt an uncomfortable twist in your chest. You turned to Kayla and glared at her.

“Why would you tell him that?” you asked, utterly bewildered.

Kayla had a smug smile on her face. “To see how he’d react,” she said, nodding toward Jeno’s direction.

You glanced back to where he was and found him looking at you. He looked away as soon as your gazes met, brows furrowing as he poked his food.

Your heart sank a little, uncertainty creeping in. What if you hurt his feelings?

Sienna sighed contentedly. “Was Jaemin right all along?”

“Yeah, he was right,” Kayla replied, nodding.

“Why? What do you mean?”

“My dearest, you clearly have a shot. I don’t know why you thought you didn’t.”

Having a crush is all fun and games until you realize you can’t live without them anymore. Well, obviously, that’s an exaggeration. Or is it? Nah, it is an exaggeration, right?

“Right,” you mumbled to yourself, nodding absentmindedly. Then you felt a tug on your elbow.

“Are you okay?” asked Sienna, eyes wide and brows furrowed, looking perplexed—and judgmental. You blinked rapidly, trying to shake off the overwhelming rush of emotions.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, offering a shaky smile.

Sienna’s eyes softened, and she gave you a playful nudge. “Cute. Let’s go. Yangyang’s outside.”

It wasn’t only Yangyang who was waiting outside.  As you opened the door to the backseat of Yangyang’s car, you were greeted by Jeno’s blank gaze, which quickly transformed into a warm, genuine smile and a small wave. You smiled back and turned to Yangyang, who grinned knowingly.

“Saw him walking alone on my way here, so I picked him up and invited him to join us,” said Yangyang.

Jeno’s smile turned sheepish. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, no! Not at all!” Sienna’s excitement was obvious as she enthusiastically pushed you into the seat next to Jeno. “It’s more fun with more people.”

You sat on the plush leather seats, and Jeno scooted away slightly to make room for you.  The close proximity made your pulse quicken, and you could feel the warmth radiating from him. Sienna squeezed in next to you, her presence further pressing you toward Jeno. She gave you a sickly sweet smile that made you chuckle nervously, trying to ignore the way your heart raced.

“Got the goods?” Sienna asked Yangyang, who nodded.

Yangyang’s eyes remained on the road as he reached into the front seat, retrieved a large paper bag, and handed it to the back. “Yep. It’s all here.”

Sienna’s face lit up as she accepted the bag, her sweet smile unwavering. “Thanks, Yang, you’re a literal angel.”

You scoffed playfully, rolling your eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“Of course, I don’t,” Sienna said, her tone light and teasing. She turned to Jeno with a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Are you sure you want to join us today, Jeno?”

Jeno shrugged, his gaze flickering between Sienna and you. There was a brief moment of hesitation before he met your eyes, then quickly looked away. “Yeah. I mean, how bad can it be?”

“What, Spa Day? Not bad at all! If anything, it’s good for you,” Sienna reassured him, her enthusiasm infectious.

You nodded in agreement. “You’ll thank her later.”

Jeno’s smile widened slightly, and he shifted in his seat. “Okay. I trust you.”

With how closely you were sitting, you figured he might have been feeling uncomfortable, which was probably why he kept shifting in his seat and couldn’t meet your gaze. You turned to Sienna and discreetly tapped her knee, subtly urging her to scoot over. She obliged with a knowing smile, giving you just enough room to breathe.

As you adjusted your position, you felt Jeno relax beside you. His warmth and the faint scent of his cologne were oddly comfortings. You glanced over at him, trying to gauge his feelings, but he was focused on the view outside the window, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

The car rumbled to a stop, and you glanced out the window, noting the familiar building where Renjun, Haechan, and Yangyang lived. Yangyang parked the car, and you, Jeno, and Sienna climbed out, chatting excitedly as you approached the entrance. The anticipation of spending time with your friends and Jeno filled you with excitement, but as soon as you stepped inside, the atmosphere shifted. 

What welcomed you were Jaemin and Haechan, sprawled out on the floor in a haze of smoke. Jaemin, with his relaxed posture and half-lidded eyes, was lazily passing a joint to Haechan, who took a long drag before letting out a thick plume of smoke. Both of them looked completely out of it, their expressions a blend of contentment and mild confusion. The sight of them, seemingly floating in their own stoned world, was both amusing and surreal.

“You guys…” You muttered, shaking your head as you took in their stoned state. Sienna appeared beside you, her eyes widening in disbelief as she processed the scene. 

Jaemin, squinting at you with a goofy grin, greeted you with a slurred voice. “Hey, hey! Look who’s here!”

Haechan giggled, his cheeks flushed as he stared at Sienna. “This shit’s good, man. I can see my girlfriend. She looks so real.”

Jaemin nodded slowly, barely able to keep his eyes open. “Dude, I think that’s your girlfriend.”

“I know. It’s crazy,” Haechan laughed. “You see her too?”

“Nah, man. I think they’re there for reals,” Jaemin said, shaking his head as if to clear the fog.

Yangyang, arriving late and catching sight of his friends on the floor, let out an amused laugh. “Woah, are you guys stoned?”

“Oh! It’s Yangyang!” Haechan grinned lazily, pointing at him.

Sienna released a dragged-out sigh, placing her hands on her hips. “Lee Donghyuck, I swear to God,” she said, her tone calm but carrying an edge that sent a shiver through everyone present.

You tapped Jeno and Yangyang urgently, gesturing for them to move. Yangyang headed to the kitchen, while you and Jeno joined Renjun on the couch. The room smelled faintly of incense and the earthy scent of the joint.

“You’re here too, Jeno?” he asked, eyes on his book.

“Yeah. It sort of just happened,” Jeno replied, glancing around the room.

Renjun looked up from the couch, looking bored. “I hope you guys are prepared for some interesting conversations today. They’ve been like this for a while.”

Soon, Mark arrived, followed by Kayla and Olive. Jaemin and Haechan’s antics had derailed your plans for Spa Day, so you decided to just hang out instead. Kayla, Sienna, and Renjun were busy in the kitchen, preparing snacks and chatting, while Mark and Olive scrolled through Netflix, debating what to watch.

You and Jeno settled onto the long couch, trying to ignore the increasingly rowdy scene in the far corner of the room, where Jaemin, Haechan, and now Yangyang were thoroughly engrossed in their stoned escapades.

“I knew it was Yangyang’s joint,” you said with a playful scoff, shaking your head. “I can’t believe we canceled Spa Day for this.”

Jeno leaned back on the couch, propping his arm casually over the backrest. “Yeah, I was looking forward to that too.”

“Well, it won’t take long before Mark joins them. You should go over there now while they haven’t finished Yangyang’s entire stash yet.”

Jeno shook his head. “No. I don’t smoke weed.”

You turned to him with a skeptical look, raising an eyebrow. Jeno chuckled at your expression. “You don’t believe me?”

You opened your mouth to respond but ended up just shrugging, a reluctant smile tugging at your lips. Jeno’s playful pout made it hard not to laugh.

“I want to believe you, okay?” you told him, laughing softly. “It’s just… I don’t know. You were friends with Jaemin in high school, so I can imagine all the shenanigans.”

Jeno nodded, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Fair point. We did get up to all sorts of things, but that was in high school. I’ve mellowed out a bit.”

“Taking life a little more seriously, huh?”

“Not too much, just dialing back the recklessness.”

In their corner of the room, the stoners were laughing at something you couldn’t hear. The haze of smoke seemed to waft over, making you scrunch up your nose. “Can’t say the same for your friends over there.”

“They’re your friends too, you know,” Jeno said with a teasing grin.

You grimaced playfully. “Unfortunately.” With a dramatic sigh, you stood up and beckoned Jeno to follow. “I’d kill for a milkshake right now. Come on.”

As you led Jeno towards the kitchen, his presence beside you felt like a refreshing change from the chaos; a comforting escape from the afternoon’s unexpected turn of events.

The smell of food filled the apartment as everyone settled into the living room, ready for a movie. The stoners, now mostly sober and recovering from their earlier high, had retreated to a quieter corner. Yangyang and Haechan were sprawled out, their heads resting on pillows as they drifted off to sleep.

Jaemin plopped down next to you on the couch, still a little dazed from all the earlier chaos, and leaned against you, his head resting on your shoulder. You didn’t mind; it was actually kind of nice. On your other side, Jeno shifted around, trying to make space for you and Jaemin.

Mark grabbed the remote and hit play on a superhero movie. You’d seen it before, but everyone had agreed on it anyway. No matter how different you all were, there was one thing you could count on—everyone loved superhero movies. Even Sienna, who used to roll her eyes at them, eventually got hooked.

You glanced over at Jeno, who was already lost in the movie, a genuine smile lighting up his face. He must've felt your gaze because he turned, catching your eye. Leaning closer, he whispered, “Didn’t peg you for a superhero fan.”

“You’d be surprised,” you whispered back, keeping your voice low so you wouldn’t disturb the others.

As the movie went on, you and Jeno kept up a quiet conversation, sharing whispers and soft laughs. He leaned in whenever he wanted to say something, his breath warm against your ear. Every time your hands brushed—whether by accident or not—it felt like a tiny spark between you.

Eventually, Renjun turned around, eyebrows raised. “You two need to keep it down. Some of us are actually trying to watch.”

You and Jeno exchanged sheepish grins, your faces turning red. Jeno leaned in closer, his voice just for you. “Sorry, we’ll be quieter.”

You giggled, which made Renjun roll his eyes again. “Seriously, guys. Just get a room already.”

Feeling a bit guilty, you made a big show of zipping your lips, trying not to laugh. Jaemin, who had been dozing against you, stirred and mumbled something you couldn’t make out. His weight was starting to make your arm ache, so you shifted a bit, moving his head onto your lap to get more comfortable.

Jeno noticed you rubbing your shoulder and, without a word, put his hand on your shoulder, his fingers warm as they started to massage away the tension.

“Thanks,” you whispered, feeling the warmth from his touch spread through you.

As the movie continued, Jeno casually draped his arm over the back of the couch, his hand brushing against your shoulder and gently tugging you a little closer. You tilted your head slightly, catching his gaze. His eyes held a soft, almost wistful expression, and you felt a flutter in your chest.

“Not bad, huh?” Jeno asked, nodding at the TV screen.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, your eyes locking with his.

The movie played on, but the real show was the unspoken bond growing stronger between you and Jeno with each passing moment.

“How was it?” Kayla asked with a playful glint in her eyes as you scrubbed dishes in the kitchen after the movie.

The kitchen had become a gathering spot, with Olive and Sienna joining Kayla, all three wearing playful smirks that made you roll your eyes.

You tried to keep your expression neutral, but were unable to hide your grin. “How was what?” you replied, feigning ignorance.

Kayla pinched your arm, making you yelp in surprise. “Ouch! What the—”

Your exclamation caught the attention of the boys in the living room, their heads turning in your direction. Kayla just smiled at them as if nothing had happened. 

Kayla, undeterred, gestured for the boys to continue tidying up. “You guys better make sure the living room is spotless,” she called out, her tone playful.

Your eyes found Jeno’s—he was giving you a concerned gaze, to which you responded with a shrug to tell him you were fine.

“I saw that!” Olive said in a hushed tone, leaning closer to you. “You and Jeno just now.”

“Yeah, what was that about?” Sienna chimed in, her eyes narrowing with a teasing smile. “So fishy.”

“It’s not fishy,” Kayla said with a smirk, joining the others at the dining table. “It’s sweet. Like, flower garden sweet. Like, totally romantic.”

Olive grinned. “More like ‘the guy I like now likes me back’ sweet.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, a blush spreading as you thought about those moments with Jeno. “Go away if you’re not gonna help,” you shot back, trying to focus on the dishes and hide your embarrassment.

You hung out until late, playing games, chatting, eating takeout, and laughing for the most part.  There were quiet moments when you would just scroll through your phone lazily, while the others did their own thing. The cozy warmth of the apartment made it easy to lose track of time. Eventually, the clock nudged past midnight, and it was time to say goodbye.

As everyone began to gather their things, the apartment was filled with the buzz of goodbyes and plans for the next hangout. You grabbed your bag and made your way to the door, where Jeno was waiting.

He gave you a small smile as you made your way to him. “Before you go, do you remember the name of that book you mentioned earlier?”

You blinked, trying to remember. When you realized you hadn’t said the title because you’d forgotten it, you scrunched your nose. “Uh, no, I don’t. But I have it at home. I’ll text you when I find out.”

He handed you his phone with a casual ease that belied the slight tension in the air. “Here, just put your number in. That way, you can tell me as soon as you find it.”

You took the phone, fingers brushing against his as you entered your number. After giving it back, he dialed your number and your phone buzzed in your pocket. You fished it out and saw his number flashing on your screen.

“There. Now you have my number too. Don’t forget to text me,” he said, his tone light, but there was a warmth in his voice that made your heart skip a beat.

The moment passed quickly, and soon everyone was heading out, their voices echoing down the hallway. You found yourself glancing back at Jeno one last time as you left, thinking about the connection that had formed between you throughout the day.

As you walked home, the cool night air filled your lungs, and a small smile tugged at your lips. The day had been full of surprises and quiet moments that felt like the start of something new. You couldn’t help but wonder what tomorrow would bring, but for now, you held onto the memory of Jeno’s smile and the way his voice softened when he talked to you.

On a quiet Saturday morning, you paced back and forth in your bedroom, biting your thumb as you stared at your phone and the book lying on your bed. The early sun poured into your room, filtered through the sheer curtains. The muffled sound of Sienna’s morning playlist drifted in from the living room.

You were debating whether to text Jeno, running through every possible scenario that might happen if you did, and most importantly, wondering what to say first.

Should you start with a simple ‘hi’? Or would it be better to get straight to the point and tell him the book title he wanted to know? Was it too early to text him? Should you wait until later so you don’t seem too eager? Would he even reply? And if he did, what would he say?

You stopped pacing, letting out a sharp breath, and placed your hands on your hips. For a moment, you stared at the phone and the book on your bed before picking them both up. Sitting down in the chair in front of your computer, you opened your contacts list with a look of determination.

“It’s just a text. No need to overthink it,” you told yourself, tapping on Jeno’s number to start a message.

You glanced at the title of the book as you typed out your text.

Hey Jeno, it’s me. The book title we were talking about is ‘The Long Walk’. Found it this morning.

Was it too casual? Too direct? You felt a flutter in your stomach as you reread the message for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was safe, not too much, just enough to start a conversation.

Your thumb hovered over the send button. It wasn’t just about sending the title; it was about breaking the silence, about seeing if the connection from yesterday would carry over into today.

Finally, you took a deep breath and hit send. There was no taking it back now. You stared at the screen, watching the message transition from ‘sending’ to ‘delivered.’ You squealed, tossing the phone on your bed and jumping around your bedroom.

A knock on the door made you freeze. “What’s going on in there?” Sienna’s voice called from the other side.

“Nothing!” you called back, trying to stifle your grin.

Sienna chuckled, the sound of her footsteps retreating as she muttered something under her breath.

With the room quiet again, you focused on the phone. Seconds ticked by, each one feeling like an eternity. You tried to distract yourself with the book, but your eyes kept drifting back to the screen. Then, just as you were about to give up, the screen lit up with a notification, followed by a buzz. You dove into the bed, grabbing the phone as quickly as you could.

Jeno <3: Got it, thanks! Do you mind if I borrow it?

A grin spread across your face, your heart fluttering at the sight of his reply. It was just a simple message, but as the conversation continued, it felt like a small victory—a confirmation that maybe, just maybe, there was something more here.

Days turned into weeks, and that simple conversation turned into the first of many. In carpentry class, you and Jeno often got paired up, sharing tools and ideas. He had this knack for making even the most boring tasks fun, with his light-hearted teasing that always left you smiling.

“Careful there,” he’d say with a grin, watching you handle a saw. “Wouldn’t want you to lose a finger. Not sure how good you’d be at texting without one.”

You’d roll your eyes, but the warmth in his voice made it clear he was just looking out for you.

In the library, your study sessions often turned into comfortable silences, broken only by the occasional whispered joke or shared look when something funny popped into your head. Jeno had this way of making even the silence feel full, as if words weren’t always needed between you two.

One afternoon, while out for a coffee run, Jeno surprised you by handing you a snack you’d mentioned liking weeks ago. “Thought you might want this,” he said casually, but the gesture was anything but.

It was little things like that that made you realize how thoughtful he could be—how he noticed the small details you barely remembered mentioning.

At group hangouts, Jeno always seemed to end up next to you. Whether it was sitting beside you on the couch, standing close at a party, or even asking someone to scoot over so he could be nearer, he found subtle ways to be close.

“Can I sit here?” he’d ask with a grin, even though he already knew your answer.

And then there were the compliments—thoughtful, personal, and always catching you off guard. “I don’t know if you realize, but you’re so easy to hang out with. Easy to talk to, easy to get along with… You’re just awesome,” he once said during a late-night phone call.

Jeno’s focus on you during conversations, his attention to detail, and the way he remembered the little things—all of it hinted at feelings that were growing stronger day by day.

“I should just kick them out,” Renjun sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee.

You and your friends were hanging out at a cozy café you loved for its laid-back vibe and amazing hot chocolate. With Kayla, Mark, Renjun, and Jeno, you’d squeezed into a large booth.

Renjun had been complaining about his roommates again, and while you and Kayla were all for him kicking his flatmates out, Mark was trying to talk him out of it. Eventually, the conversation drifted from Renjun’s woes to a new movie that had just come out.

As the conversation continued, you found yourself getting into a lively debate about the movie. Jeno, sitting next to you, listened quietly, throwing in a thoughtful comment every now and then. Occasionally, your shoulders would brush, and you’d exchange quick, knowing glances.

Then out of nowhere, someone plopped down beside you, making you and Kayla gasp. It was Hendery Wong, his usual charisma on full display as he tilted his head and grinned at you.

“Deadpool & Wolverine, huh?” he said, his voice playful. “Pretty epic, wasn’t it?”

“Yo, Hendery Wong!” Mark exclaimed, jumping up to give Hendery a high-five. “Damn, dude, how have you been?”

“I’m fine. Still alive, fortunately,” Hendery said, his tone cool and nonchalant. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“A while? Dude, it’s been a whole fucking year!” Mark replied, unable to hide his excitement. “When did you get back?”

“Today. A few hours ago,” Hendery answered.

Kayla tutted. “Clearly, being overseas didn’t wipe that smug look off your face.”

Hendery chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter. “Come on, K. You’re not still sore about losing that exchange program to me, are you?”

Kayla huffed, crossing her arms. “Not at all. I was never sore about it in the first place.”

Hendery’s attention shifted back to you, his arm casually resting on the backrest behind you. “And you, babygirl? How’s life treating you?”

You rolled your eyes, though you were secretly glad to see him. “Great. Life was a little better without you around. Now that you’re back,” you paused, wincing playfully, “I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Good,” Hendery replied with a teasing grin. “I missed you too.”

Jeno, who had been observing quietly, shifted in his seat, his expression hard to read. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything, his gaze drifting out the window.

“Who’s your friend?” Hendery asked, turning his attention to Jeno.

Mark jumped in before you could reply. “Oh, right. This is Jeno. He’s sharing the flat with me and Jaemin. Jeno, this is Hendery Wong. He used to stay in your room. He was gone for an exchange program in France.”

Jeno gave a polite nod, his lips pressed together, while Hendery returned the nod. An odd tension hung in the air, coming from the intense gaze between Jeno and Hendery.

“Well, I should get going,” Hendery said, rising from his seat. He placed a hand on your shoulder. “Catch you guys later? I thought I saw Renjun here, was I wrong?”

“He went to the restroom. Dude, we should all hang out soon,” Mark said, standing up to bump shoulders with Hendery.

“Absolutely. Just let me know,” Hendery said coolly, patting your shoulder. You looked up at him with a smile, giving him a small wave as he nodded at you.

You watched as Hendery walked away, waiting until he left the café to resume the conversation. Beside you, Jeno’s posture had grown more rigid. His fingers tapped restlessly on the table, and he seemed unusually focused on the menu, avoiding eye contact.

“Is everything alright?” you asked softly, sensing the shift in his mood.

Jeno glanced at you, his expression softening slightly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

You raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced. Before you could press further, Renjun rejoined the table, and the conversation picked up again.

“You won’t believe who was just here,” Mark said, turning to Renjun as he sat down.

“Who?” Renjun asked, looking around.

“Hendery Wong,” Mark replied, unable to contain his excitement.

“No way! He’s back?” Renjun’s eyes widened in surprise.

Jeno first saw you during a basketball game between NCIT and another university. From his seat in the bleachers, he could hear your voice cutting through the clamor of the crowd. While most of the students were shouting cheers and encouragement, you stood out sharply with your enthusiastic and, frankly, unorthodox support.

You were positioned right at the edge of the bleachers, waving a homemade banner that read ‘KICK THEIR ASSES, MARK!’ in big, bold letters.

“Mark, focus! Don’t screw this up!” you yelled, your tone firm and assertive. There was an urgency in your voice that set you apart from the usual crowd.

When Mark came close to the bleachers, you didn’t hold back. With an exaggerated, mock-serious expression, you shouted, “I swear to God, Mark Lee! If you don’t beat their asses, I will whoop yours!”

Mark just laughed in amusement as he nodded at you, and that seemed to annoy you. “Oh? Are you laughing? Don’t you laugh at me, I am dead serious!”

Your friends beside you chuckled, clearly used to your dramatic flair, but Jeno was intrigued. The contrast between your intense demeanor and the light-hearted atmosphere around you was striking. When you were simply sitting quietly as you watched the game, there was an air of elegance and grace about you. But that air was shattered the moment you stood up and opened your mouth again.

As the game progressed, Jeno overheard you telling a friend that winning the game was crucial not just for school pride, but because you wanted to exact a small revenge on your ex, who had, apparently, done you wrong.

“We have to win this game!” you had declared. “I need to show that lying, cheating jerk that he’s a loser. This victory is for me!”

There was something undeniably compelling about your presence. Jeno found himself stealing glances your way, caught up in the way you seemed to own the moment, making the game as much about your personal victory as it was about the team’s. In that crowded, noisy gymnasium, Jeno saw something special in you—a spark that he couldn’t quite ignore.

Jeno watched as the game reached its climax, with Mark and his team eventually emerging victorious. In the final moments of triumph, you leaped from your seat, joining the crowd rushing onto the court. Jeno saw you stare at someone from the other team, whom he could only assume was your ex, after you gave him a dramatic, unapologetic middle finger.

Jeno knew you were friends with his roommates and that you shared a circle of mutual friends. While he found you intriguing, he’d never had any romantic interest in you. At the time, he was in a relationship, and though he occasionally caught glimpses of you during group gatherings or around campus, there wasn’t much real interaction. You always seemed wrapped up in intense debates with Haechan or animated conversations with your friends, and Jeno never thought much about it.

After a messy breakup, Jeno decided to go on a “healing” road trip with his cousins. The open road was supposed to be a distraction, a way to clear his head. On one of those long drives, they stumbled upon a quaint public library in a sleepy little town—a perfect pit stop for a break. As Jeno wandered through the rows of books, taking in the musty, comforting smell of old paper, he spotted someone familiar.

There you were, perched precariously on a ladder, browsing the top shelves with a look of intense concentration. Seeing a familiar face in such an out-of-the-way place was a pleasant surprise, but Jeno didn’t think of approaching you. After all, the two of you didn’t really know each other.

But as he watched, his curiosity was piqued. You were tugging at a book, your brow furrowed in determination as you struggled to free it from the tight shelf. It was almost comical, and Jeno couldn’t help but smile. 

As he debated whether to help, you suddenly lost your footing. Jeno’s reflexes kicked in, and he darted forward, catching you just as you slipped off the ladder. For a second, you were in his arms, eyes wide with surprise. Your cheeks flushed as you steadied yourself, looking up at him with a mix of embarrassment and gratitude.

The two of you stood there for a moment, neither sure what to say. There was something endearing about your flustered reaction, and Jeno found himself smiling, feeling an unexpected warmth. He handed you the book you’d been reaching for, and you accepted it with a grateful smile and uttered your thanks again.

As Jeno walked out of the library, he couldn’t help but glance back, catching one last look at you. The encounter was brief, but something about it stuck with him.

For the rest of the road trip, he found his thoughts drifting back to the way your eyes had widened in surprise, the way your lips had curved into a smile. And as Jeno climbed back into the car with his cousins, he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face.

On the first day back at university, Jeno noticed you immediately. You were surrounded by your friends, engaging in lively chatter and playful bickering. Mark spotted him and waved him over, but Jeno had to decline, as he was on his way to class.

Later, at lunch, Jeno was walking to the food court with Mark, Jaemin, and Haechan. Haechan began grumbling about you, complaining that you had been a real pain in his ass due to a missing pen. Mark said it was Haechan's fault for losing her pen. 

“As if she doesn’t already have hoards of them!” Haechan whined, stomping his feet.

Just as Jeno was about to ask more, your voice cut through the busy pathway. “Lee Donghyuck!”

Haechan seemed to shudder at hearing his real name. “Gosh! This psycho pen hoarder!” he exclaimed in horror.

Frightened, Haechan took off running. Before Jeno could even glance over, you zoomed past him in pursuit of Haechan, leaving only a lingering trail of your sweet perfume.

Jeno watched, intrigued, as you darted through the crowd, clearly determined to catch up to Haechan.

Jeno started noticing you everywhere. At the public library across town, your name was proudly displayed as one of the top readers for the year. You seemed to live in that library, always immersed in a book while Jeno used it as a quiet refuge, mostly for napping and studying only when he absolutely had to.

He saw you in the quad, at the food court, in the school library, and even in the hallways and at the gates. It was as if no matter where he went, you were always in his line of sight.

His curiosity about you grew with every encounter. When your name came up in conversations with his roommates, he’d casually ask about you, careful not to hint at his interest. On the rare occasions you visited their apartment, he’d retreat to his room, listening from a distance but never making his presence known. He couldn’t quite explain why he chose to stay hidden, but he did.

One rainy afternoon, while stranded outside an electronics store downtown, Jeno stood shivering, hoping a cab would miraculously appear. Then he saw you emerging from the diner next door, shielded by an umbrella. His heart skipped a beat, and the dreariness of the rain-soaked streets seemed to lift.

Surprised by his reaction, he pondered what it could mean. You struggled to hail a cab, and Jeno wrestled with whether or not to approach you. But he decided there were better times to do that than right now.

When a taxi finally arrived and you were about to close the door, Jeno acted on an impulse. He sprinted across the sidewalk and intercepted the cab door just in time. The spontaneity of his actions left him awkwardly sitting beside you in the cab, unsure how to start a conversation.

Should he introduce himself and remind you of the ladder incident, or simply acknowledge that he was Jaemin and Mark’s friend?

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he missed his chance to say anything before his stop. Annoyed with himself, he walked to the apartment, his mood sour. Jaemin noticed Jeno’s dejected expression when he opened the door.

“What happened?” Jaemin had asked.

“Don’t remind me,” Jeno had replied, brushing off the question.

That night, Jeno couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your face, so pretty and striking, lingered in his mind long after the encounter. He was captivated by how your gentle demeanor contrasted with your boldness.

As the new week began, he found himself looking forward to the possibility of seeing you again. And this time, things were different. Instead of just glimpsing the back of your head or the side of your face, he found himself catching your gaze. You would often look away quickly, but sometimes you’d offer him a shy, bashful smile that left him both elated and curious.

What started with stolen glances and shy smiles evolved into something much deeper. Jeno found himself completely enchanted by you, not just because you were beautiful, but because you were brilliant and kind-hearted too.

Your intimidating exterior gave way to a warmth and charm that drew people to you, and Jeno was no exception. The moments you shared—laughing over inside jokes, basking in comfortable silence, and watching your smile light up a room—made his heart swell with affection.

He knew he liked you, but as time went on, he realized his feelings went beyond mere admiration. It was something deeper, something he couldn’t easily define. And though he was still figuring out what to do about it, the desire to be near you only grew stronger.

But today, it felt like the steady course of your relationship was about to hit some unexpected turbulence. Jeno stood in the doorway of his bedroom, his scowl deepening as a swirl of questions raced through his mind.

Who is Hendery Wong? Why did he seem to have an interest in you? What was your past relationship with him? And most pressing of all, what was Hendery doing in Jeno’s bedroom, wrapped in a towel, straight out of a shower?

“Hendery moved back in with you?” you asked Mark, your voice laced with surprise and a hint of confusion.

Mark leaned back, resting his head on his hand as if the whole situation were more amusing than anything else. “Yep. The guy showed up from the airport with nowhere to crash. So, he’s staying in Jeno’s room. You know, the room that used to be his.”

You winced, knowing how much Jeno prized his personal space. “And Jeno?” you asked.

Before Mark could answer, Hendery plopped down on the seat next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders in a casual one-armed hug. His grin was impossibly wide and mischievous.

“What about my roommate?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You can’t just barge into his space like that!” you said, giving him a pointed look.

Hendery leaned in closer, his face only inches from yours. “Oh? Are you worried about Jeno?”

“Yes!” you shot back, giving his cheek a gentle nudge. “You should find yourself a dorm or something!”

“Why would I do that?” Hendery asked with a playful glint in his eye. “I’m having too much fun hanging out with your crush.”

“Is that you, Hendery?” You heard Yangyang’s voice cut through the chatter. Turning, you saw him approaching with Jeno by his side.

Your heart did a little leap at the sight of Jeno, and you felt a warm blush spread across your cheeks. Jeno’s eyes met yours for a fleeting moment before he looked away with an unreadable expression.

Flustered, you started smacking Hendery’s arm repeatedly until he finally loosened his hold on you. Hendery stood up with a laugh, giving Yangyang a hearty clap on the back as they exchanged greetings. You pointed at the chair Hendery had just vacated, and without hesitation, Jeno moved past Hendery and settled into it.

Jeno turned to you with a soft, genuine smile. “How was class?” he asked, his voice gentle.

“Extremely boring,” you replied, leaning in slightly.

Jeno chuckled, his gaze lingering on you with a tenderness that made your heart flutter. Before the conversation could go any deeper, your other friends arrived, and the table soon filled up with the usual chatter. Jeno had hoped his strategic move would prevent Hendery from sitting next to you, but as the group settled in, Hendery took the seat to your other side, creating a subtle but noticeable competition.

Every laugh you shared with Hendery seemed to amplify the emotions Jeno was trying hard to suppress. His focus on you, his protective stance, and the way his smile faltered when Hendery made a particularly affectionate gesture spoke volumes about the feelings he was trying to conceal.

It didn’t help that you and Hendery had the same classes. After lunch, you gave Jeno a sweet goodbye before leaving with Hendery. Jeno appreciated the extra attention you gave him, but seeing you walk away with Hendery left him feeling deflated.

For the next few days, Jeno made an effort to avoid seeing you with Hendery. He found it easier to focus on his growing feelings for you when he wasn’t constantly reminded of his competition. His strategy seemed to work, allowing him to enjoy quiet afternoons with you in the library, share coffee dates, and savor each other’s company.

But as the weekend approached and the group hangout at your apartment loomed, Jeno knew that the unresolved tension between him and Hendery was about to come to a head.

The living room of your apartment with Sienna was alive with warmth and energy as everyone settled in for the long-awaited hangout. It had been a while since the whole group had come together. The floor was strewn with pillows, snacks were piled high on the coffee table, and the entire room felt like a cozy, informal gathering spot.

You were comfortably nestled on the couch next to Jeno, with Kayla lounging on the carpet with her head resting between your knees. Across from you, Mark and Renjun were in a light-hearted debate about which movie to watch later. Yangyang and Jaemin were sprawled on the floor, playing video games in their phones, while Sienna and Haechan were snuggling on the reclining chair by the large window, occasionally chiming in with the conversation despite being in their own separate bubble.

Hendery emerged from the kitchen, his grin as mischievous as ever. He handed out cans of drinks, making sure to give you and Jeno each a beer before plopping down beside you on the couch. Jeno, who had been relatively quiet since arriving, was perched on the other side of you, his eyes flickering between you and Hendery, taking in the easy vibe between you two.

Hendery’s casual closeness and the way he seemed to effortlessly include himself in the group contrasted sharply with Jeno’s more reserved demeanor. The evening passed with laughter and conversation.

“So, Hendery,” Jaemin started with a teasing grin, “what kind of mischief did you get up to this past year? We heard rumors that you single-handedly kept the campus entertainment scene alive.”

Hendery chuckled, leaning back comfortably and draping an arm on the backrest behind you. “I wouldn’t say single-handedly, but I definitely added some flair to the dull parties.” He gave a wink, and the group chuckled. “Let’s just say it was a wild year and leave it at that.”

“Wild, my foot,” you jeered. “Didn’t seem so wild when you called me every day at three in the morning, convinced that your dorm was haunted.”

Everyone laughed, and Hendery groaned dramatically. “Okay, that was only for the first week! And I stand by it. Those noises were not normal. When I moved to a different dorm, everything was much better.”

“Speaking of, how’s the rooming situation, Jeno?” Renjun asked, turning the attention to Jeno.

Jeno shrugged, trying to play it cool. “It’s... fine. Hendery’s not the worst roommate I’ve had.”

“Not the worst?” Hendery echoed with mock offense. “I think I’m pretty great, actually.”

Jeno gave a half-smile. “You’re definitely something.”

“Do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?” Kayla teased, leaning in with a grin.

Mark chimed in, smirking. “Knowing Jeno, I’m guessing it’s somewhere in the middle.”

Jaemin laughed. “Come on, Jeno. Admit it. You secretly love having him around.”

Jeno forced a smile, shrugging. “He does keep things interesting, I’ll give him that.”

“You hear that?” Hendery said, looking delighted. “I’m officially interesting!”

“You’re officially a pain,” Haechan muttered, but his grin gave him away. The room burst into laughter, and the conversation flowed effortlessly.

Hendery grinned at Jeno. “Jeno’s pretty chill, though. And it’s only temporary. I’m looking into getting my own place in the same building.”

Kayla eyed Jeno. “So, you’re surviving, huh? No ghost stories at midnight?”

“Not yet, but I’m keeping my ears open,” Jeno said, glancing at you with a subtle smile.

“Don’t worry, Jeno, I’m sure you’ll get used to him,” you teased, sharing a playful look with Hendery. “And if he starts getting spooked again, just give me a call. I’ll give you the lowdown on handling him.”

Hendery laughed, nudging you gently. “See? She knows how to deal with me.”

Mark chimed in, “It’s simple. Just smack him if he starts talking about ghosts.”

Hendery feigned a pout. “That’s not very nice.”

“Yeah. But you’ll find that the back of his head is much much more effective,” you added.

Hendery gasped in mock horror. “Et tu, Brute?”

You laughed, giving him a playful shove. “It’s for your own good.”

Jeno’s smile tightened slightly, his eyes lingering on the way you and Hendery interacted so effortlessly. The jokes, the shared stories—it was clear that you two had a history, one that was filled with memories and inside jokes that Jeno wasn’t a part of.

“Alright, enough about me,” Hendery said, waving a hand dismissively. “What’s been going on with you guys? I’ve been out of the loop for way too long.”

He pointed across the room where Sienna and Haechan were cozied up together. “Especially that. When did that happen? And why?”

The conversation flowed smoothly after that, with everyone chiming in with their own stories and updates. You and Hendery continued to share a few more teasing comments, occasionally slipping into old jokes that made everyone laugh—even Jeno, though his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

The evening went on, but every now and then, Jeno’s gaze would drift to you, watching the way you laughed at Hendery’s stories, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke to him. And though he tried to brush it off, a small knot of jealousy twisted in his chest, making him wonder just how close you and Hendery had been—and what that might mean for him now.

Jaemin, having known Jeno for a long time, noticed Jeno’s unease. “You alright?” he asked, his voice low enough to be heard only by Jeno.

Jeno laughed softly, the sound lacking its usual warmth. From his spot by the kitchen counter, he could see you playing rock-paper-scissors with Hendery, Mark, and Kayla.

“Honestly? No. I’m not,” he admitted, grateful to have someone to vent to.

Jaemin sighed, leaning against the counter beside him. “I should’ve warned you sooner about Hendery. You don’t have to worry, though. You see how I mess around with her, right? The flirting and all that? It’s fake, as you already know. She’s close with all of us, but there’s nothing romantic going on.”

Jaemin paused, gauging Jeno’s reaction before continuing. “She’s comfortable being close to Mark. Yangyang is like her personal bodyguard. With Renjun, she can tell him anything and everything. Haechan’s like her mortal enemy, but it’s all in good fun.”

He hesitated, then added, “And Hendery? He’s like a combination of all of us. They’ve known each other for years, way before we came into the picture. But, as far as we know, there’s never been anything romantic between them. So, don’t stress. You’ll get used to it.”

Jeno forced a smile, but the knot in his chest didn’t loosen. Would he really get used to it? Did he even want to?

Kayla’s triumphant cheer filled the room, accompanied by your dramatic groan of defeat. Jeno watched as you, kneeling on the floor, wallowed in your loss. Hendery, grinning, poked your head playfully and called you a loser. You stood up and turned towards the kitchen, your face lighting up as soon as you saw Jeno. He returned your smile with a nod.

As you walked over, Jaemin gave Jeno a knowing glance and excused himself.

“What are you doing?” you asked, casually taking Jeno’s hand in yours as you reached him.

Jeno smiled and shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Would you like to come with us to the store?” you asked, your eyes gleaming with excitement. “We lost to Kayla and Mark, so we need to go buy refills.”

“With Hendery?” Jeno asked, trying to keep his tone neutral.

You nodded. “Yeah. He’s being a pain, so I could use some backup. Please?”

Jeno nodded, knowing full well he could never say ‘no’ to you. “Alright, I’m in.”

The walk to the convenience store was cold, and you were bundled up in Hendery and Jeno’s jackets, which you thought was odd but gladly took in stride. Under the streetlights, your figures cast long shadows on the sidewalk, and you could see how short you looked between the two guys, sandwiched between their taller frames.

Hendery was talking about the noticeable changes in the neighborhood, pointing out things that were now gone and others that he knew weren’t there before.

“Did Wok’n’Roll close down?” he asked, his tone carrying a hint of nostalgia as you passed by a stationery store that now stood where the Chinese restaurant used to be.

“Not really,” you replied, your gaze lingering on the unfamiliar storefront. “They moved to a different location, but it’s too far from here now.”

“That’s too bad,” Hendery mused, his tone tinged with regret. “We used to eat there all the time.”

A soft scoff escaped your lips as memories of shared meals and laughter filled your mind. “Yeah, I was pretty bummed too. But it’s not like I can drive halfway across the state just to eat there. It was good, but not ‘two-hour road trip’ good.”

It was almost midnight, and the city had quieted down, with most places closed except for a few 24/7 diners, cafes, and convenience stores. As you reached the convenience store, its flickering neon lights cast a stark, familiar glow over the entrance. Stepping inside, you were met with the artificial warmth and the soft hum of fluorescent lights overhead.

You and Jeno moved through the aisles together as he carried the basket for you. Hendery, meanwhile, had wandered off, exploring the aisles.

“Aren’t you tired?” Jeno’s voice broke the quiet, concern evident as he added a pack of chips to the basket.

“Not really,” you replied with a light tone, glancing up at him. “I was a bit tipsy earlier, but the walk sobered me up.”

Without thinking, you let Jeno link his index finger with your pinky, a small but intimate gesture that sent a warm flutter through your chest. You curled your pinky around his finger, holding on tightly as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“What about you?” you asked back.

“I didn’t drink much,” he said, his smile softening as he looked down at your linked fingers. The sight of him watching your entwined hands made your cheeks flush.

“I think you’re obsessed with me,” you teased, trying to mask the giddiness bubbling up inside you with a playful nonchalance.

Jeno chuckled. “I might be,” he admitted, his eyes twinkling.

The moment lingered as you regrouped with Hendery at the counter. He took the basket from you, effortlessly laying out the items for the cashier while striking up a conversation with the store clerk. Hendery’s ease with people, his ability to make anyone feel at ease, was something you’d always admired.

Jeno, however, seemed lost in thought. He gently tugged your arm, catching your attention. When you looked at him, he tilted his head towards the exit, a silent invitation to step outside. You tapped Hendery on the shoulder to let him know, “We’ll wait for you outside.”

“Okay,” Hendery replied, his focus still on the cashier as he continued his conversation.

The moment you stepped outside, the soothing patter of rain greeted you. The soft drizzle had started while you were inside, and the raindrops glistening under the streetlights made everything feel more intimate and serene. The world seemed to slow down as you stood side by side with Jeno, watching the rain together.

A yawn escaped you, and Jeno moved closer. “You said you weren't tired,” he said softly.

“I was just yawning,” you reassured him with a soft laugh. The sound seemed to ease his worry, though there was still a glimmer of something in his eyes that tugged at your heart.

In a gentle motion, Jeno unlinked his finger from yours and took your hand fully in his. The warmth of his hand was a comforting contrast to the cool rain falling around you. Leaning into his arm, you felt the steady rise and fall of his breath.

You stood there in silence. It was in these quiet moments that you felt the most at peace, with Jeno’s presence and the warmth of his hand making you feel seen and alive.

Finally, Jeno broke the silence, his voice soft and filled with emotion. “There’s something I have to tell you,” he said, staring at the rain-soaked street as if searching for the right words.

“What is it?” you asked gently, not wanting to rush him.

Jeno turned to face you, his gaze intense and filled with emotion. “I am in love with you. I hope you’re okay with that.”

Your heart raced, surprise and joy swirling inside you. Without thinking, you cupped his face in your hands, the rain falling around you as you closed the distance between you. Your lips met his in a kiss that started soft and tentative but quickly deepened as all the emotions you’d both been holding back surged to the surface.

Jeno’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss grew more urgent and passionate. It felt like everything he had been holding back was pouring out in this moment, and you responded with equal intensity. The rain continued to fall, but neither of you cared, lost in the warmth of each other’s embrace.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, foreheads resting together as you tried to steady your racing hearts. You looked into Jeno’s eyes, searching for reassurance that this was real, that his confession wasn’t just a fleeting moment.

“I’m more than okay with it,” you whispered, your voice shaky but filled with certainty.

His smile was radiant, brighter than you had ever seen. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you into another kiss. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in your bubble of newfound love.

“Oh, wow, right in front of my sour patch strips,” Hendery’s voice broke through the moment, dripping with exaggerated disbelief.

Startled, you and Jeno pulled apart, laughter bubbling up despite the surprise. Hendery stood at the store entrance, his eyes wide with mock horror and a sour patch strip dangling from his mouth like a comedic prop. He was piled high with the snacks you’d picked out, making the scene even more absurd. Jeno quickly took the other bag of snacks from Hendery.

“Kids these days,” Hendery continued, shaking his head in feigned disappointment. “Right by the entrance too? Unbelievable.”

The taxi ride back to your apartment was filled with a comforting silence, broken only by the hum of the engine and the rhythmic patter of rain against the windows. Hendery sat beside you, occasionally sneaking in a teasing glance, his lips curling into a smirk as he watched you and Jeno.

You wanted to say something, but your mind and heart were consumed by the whirlwind of emotions that Jeno had stirred up. His hand, warm and steady in yours, would give a gentle squeeze every now and then, silently asking for your attention, and you’d meet his gaze, feeling a flutter in your chest each time.

Back at your apartment, your friends were blissfully unaware of the revelations from the evening. Drinks were poured, conversations flowed, and your usually quiet nook in this big city was filled with laughter and cheer.

Amidst the chatter and merriment, no one seemed to notice how Jeno stayed close to you all evening—his tender touches, the soft whispers, and the hushed laughter shared only between the two of you, creating a warm glow that seemed to envelop you both. 

As the night wound down and your friends began to leave, Jeno lingered by your bedroom door, his shoulder resting against the frame as he looked at you with that same tender gaze from earlier.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, his voice soft, almost hesitant, as if he, too, was reluctant to let this moment end.

“You can stay, you know,” you told him, looking up to meet his gaze, a sweet smile playing on your lips.

“I would love to, but…” He glanced toward the living room where Jaemin and Mark were sprawled out on the couch, half-asleep and completely drunk. “Someone’s gotta get these morons home.”

Just then, Hendery stumbled out of the bathroom, his earlier cool demeanor replaced by a disheveled look and a pout. His eyes were bleary as he took in the scene, blinking slowly. “Are we sleeping over?” he mumbled, frowning as he rubbed his temples.

“I called a cab. They’ll be here soon,” Jeno replied, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Good. Can’t sleep here. There’s a weird ringing sound… it’s creeping me out,” Hendery muttered, words slurred, barely coherent. He shuffled over to the couch and wedged himself between Jaemin and Mark.

You rolled your eyes, turning your attention back to Jeno. “Pretty sure that’s just the alcohol in his head.”

Jeno chuckled, the sound resonating beautifully in your ears. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender kiss. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you whispered back, rising onto your tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, savoring the warmth that spread through you at the touch.

Neither of you moved to leave. Instead, you lingered there, standing close, your hand still resting on his arm. Jeno’s thumb brushed gently over the back of your hand, and you found yourself leaning closer to him, not wanting to break the spell.

“Did you see how Yangyang tried to challenge Jaemin to a dance-off earlier?” you asked out of nowhere.

Jeno laughed softly, shaking his head. “I missed that. Who won?”

“Jaemin, by default. Yangyang nearly fell over trying to do some kind of spin,” you grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“That sounds about right,” he replied, squeezing your hand lightly. “Shame I didn’t see that.”

“You were literally sitting there with me,” you scoffed, unconvinced.

“Yeah, well, I was busy staring at you,” he replied without missing a beat, catching you off-guard.

You gawked at him for a moment, a sheepish smile tugging at your lips. “Oh shut up!” you chastised once you found your voice, hitting his chest lightly.

Jeno held your fist, keeping them pressed on his chest as he leaned to kiss you cheek. “It’s true. I will never lie to you.”

“You lied to me about being the mafia earlier though,” you retorted, narrowing your eyes at him. 

He threw his head back laughing. “That was necessary.”

“Nah, you’re just a liar,” you quipped.

The conversation kept drifting from one topic to another, neither of you making any move to end it. You talked about random things—Renjun’s ridiculous laugh during the movie earlier, Haechan and Sienna sneaking into her bedroom, Hendery’s questionable cocktail, and even the weather forecast for the next day.

Every time you thought Jeno would finally say goodbye, another thought seemed to cross his mind, another comment made you both chuckle, and neither of you seemed willing to let the moment slip away.

Then, Jeno’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced at it, the glow of the screen lighting up his face. “The taxi’s here,” he said reluctantly.

You felt a small pang of disappointment but managed to smile. “It’s okay. You’ll see me again tomorrow.”

“Right, I will,” Jeno smiled contently before walking over to the couch to wake the others. You watched as they stirred, stretched, and yawn before filing up to the door.

You walked them to the cramped foyer as they muttered their thanks and bid you goodnight. Jeno had them wait in front of the elevator in the hallway before going back to your apartment door for a proper goodbye. He scooped you up in his arms, pressing a firm kiss on your lips.

“Goodbye, Jeno,” you told him after you pulled away.

“Goodbye,” he said, his smile wide and radiant. 

When he didn’t make a move to leave, you cocked your head to your dazed friends in the hallway. “You should go before Hendery starts complaining about the ringing again.”

“Right,” Jeno said, but his hand still lingered on the doorknob, his gaze locked with yours. He took a small step forward, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”

“I’ll probably be asleep before then,” you nodded, your voice softer now. “But okay.”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jeno gave you one last kiss—a lingering, gentle press of his lips against yours—before finally stepping back. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jeno,” you whispered, watching him as he finally turned and left.

Even as the door closed, you stayed there for a moment, the warmth of his presence still lingering in the halls of your apartment. You locked the door behind you and went to your bedroom, glancing briefly at Sienna’s door where she and Haechan were probably already asleep.

It was almost unbelievable, how much had changed between you. Jeno, who once seemed so distant, like a dream you could never quite reach, had just confessed his love to you. It was like stepping into a whole new world—one you’d only ever dared to imagine. You went from being the girl with a secret crush to someone whose feelings were returned in the most beautiful way possible.

As you lay back on your bed, your fingers brushed against your lips, still tingling from the kisses you shared. You’d spent countless nights dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him, to feel his lips against yours, and now that it had actually happened, it was even better than you had ever imagined.

You thought of the way Jeno had looked at you just before he confessed, the nervousness and hope in his eyes making your heart race. The way he had leaned in, the gentleness of his touch—it had all felt so real, so right, that it was almost hard to believe it wasn’t a dream.

You knew it was coming. You had been seeing the signs these last few days. You’d felt the growing connection between you, but still, nothing could have prepared you for the reality of hearing those words, of feeling that kiss.

As you drifted off to sleep, a contented sigh escaped your lips. The night might have ended, but the magic of it was far from over.

That weekend with Jeno felt like a dream—a series of perfect moments strung together in a blur of happiness. You found yourselves tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, surrounded by the scent of old books and the soft, steady rustle of pages turning. Jeno, originally engrossed in an ancient cartography book, eventually gave in to the peaceful lull of the afternoon, his head resting gently on the desk beside you.

You glanced at him, a smile tugging at your lips as you reached out, your fingers brushing through his dark hair.

After a while, Jeno stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he shifted closer to you. “What are you reading?” he whispered, his voice hushed, still thick with sleep, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

You smiled, tilting your head to let him get closer. His arms snaked around your waist beneath the desk, pulling you closer. “A poetry collection. It’s one of my favorites,” you replied.

He hummed in contentment, warm breath fanning your skin. “Read me a line?” he murmured in a tone that was soft and inviting.

You flipped back a few pages, your eyes landing on a passage that had always struck a chord with you. With a mischievous grin, you began, “And so I’ll see the railway track, and lay my head upon the rail, And sight the dark and distant train…”

Before you could finish, Jeno bolted upright, his eyes wide with alarm. The startled look on his face made you burst into laughter, but you continued with the same mock-seriousness, “And hear its thunder louder roll, Coming to crush my cursed brain… Oh God, have mercy on my soul!”

For a moment, you both stared at each other. Your laughter bubbled up uncontrollably, and you nudged him with your elbow. “Come on, say something.”

Jeno blinked. “What the heck was that?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck.

After dinner, you found yourselves wandering through a quaint little stationery shop that caught your eye. The shelves were lined with pens, notebooks, and little trinkets that you could spend hours browsing through. Jeno watched with affection as you debated with yourself over a pen that you found too cute to leave behind.

“This is too cute,” you gushed, twirling it between your fingers.

Jeno chuckled, nudging you lightly. “Since you like it so much, why don’t you just buy it?”

You sighed, shoulders sagging. “Do I really need another pen?”

“You probably don’t, but if you want it…” he trailed off, shrugging. “Go for it.”

You grumbled but took the pen anyway. “At this rate, I’ll have enough pens to open my own store.”

His eyes softened, and he pulled you closer by the waist. “Then maybe you can write me love letters with each one,” he said playfully, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead amidst the colorful aisles.

“Don’t tempt me because I might do just that,” you told him, and the two of you laughed on your way to the counter.

When you returned to your apartment, it was still early enough to watch a movie. You both settled in your bedroom, the lights dimmed, a blanket draped over your legs as the film played on the screen of your laptop. But your attention wasn’t on the movie—it was on the way Jeno’s arm rested around your shoulders, how his fingers absentmindedly played with the ends of your hair.

The movie soon became nothing more than background noise, easily overshadowed by the warmth of Jeno’s presence beside you. His fingers continued to toy with the ends of your hair, each gentle touch sending a shiver down your spine. You leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Jeno’s gaze shifted from the screen to you, his eyes soft and filled with a tenderness that made your heart flutter. Without a word, he leaned down, brushing his lips against your temple in a feather-light kiss.

You smiled, turning your face slightly to meet his gaze. The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered at that moment—made your heart thump harder.

“Do you know how beautiful you look right now?” Jeno whispered, his breath warm against your skin.

You blushed, meeting his eyes. “I don’t know if I believe that,” you teased, though you could feel the fluttering in your chest.

He smiled, his eyes twinkling. “It’s true. You always look beautiful to me.”

Jeno’s lips hovered close to yours, not quite kissing you yet, silently asking for permission. You leaned in, closing the gap between you. Your lips met his in a kiss that was soft and tentative at first, but soon deepened, growing more intense as you both melted into it.

Jeno’s hand slipped from your hair to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he tilted your head slightly to angle the kiss just right. You could feel the heat of his touch, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, making everything else fade away.

His other hand found its way to your waist, pulling you closer until there was hardly any space left between you. Your hands, almost on instinct, wound around his neck, fingers threading through his hair as you lost yourselves in the moment.

When you gave his lip a soft bite, Jeno let out a deep, satisfied groan that made your head spin. His hand trailed down from your waist to your thigh, wrapping it around his torso.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your forehead resting against his. You could feel his breath against your lips, still heavy with the aftermath of your kiss.

“You know, I was actually, genuinely, with no ulterior motives whatsoever, hoping to watch this movie,” Jeno whispered, his voice hushed, almost amused. 

You chuckled softly, glancing at the screen where the movie was still running. “I think we missed most of it,” you admitted.

Jeno grinned, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. “I’m totally okay with that,” he replied, lifting your chin as he drew you back into another kiss.

And as you let your heart go where it wanted to go, you knew without a doubt that this was exactly where you were meant to be.

As soon as you met up with your friends, you could barely contain your excitement. The words practically tumbled out of your mouth before anyone could even ask. Sitting in your usual spot at the food court for lunch, you dropped the news.

“Jeno and I are dating now,” you announced, a triumphant smile plastered across your face. You were ready for the gasps, the shrieks, the dramatic reactions. After all, this was big news.

Renjun raised an eyebrow, sipping his coffee nonchalantly. “Good for you.”

You blinked, a little taken aback by the casualness of his response. Kayla clapped her hands quietly, smiling to congratulate you. Olive copied her, but both of them didn’t seem surprised at all. Haechan was just scrolling through his phone.

“Wait, is that it?” you asked, confused. “I thought you’d be more surprised.”

Your friends exchanged glances. Olive shrugged, a teasing smile tugging at her lips. “Uh, we kind of figured that out already.”

You blinked, taken aback. “What? How? When? Was it last weekend? We were practically inseparable then!”

Kayla chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Sweetie, you two have been inseparable for weeks. We’ve all seen it coming.”

“Honestly, I thought you two were already a thing,” Renjun chimed in, stirring her drink lazily. 

“What? I don't get it,” you said, your voice trailing off in disbelief.

“We actually thought you guys were just being subtle,” said Siena.

Haechan snorted, not lifting his eyes from his screen. “Yeah, about as subtle as a flashing neon sign.”

“I’m pretty sure the only reason we didn’t say anything was because we assumed you wanted to keep it low-key,” Kayla added.

You groaned, leaning back in your seat. “And here I was thinking I was dropping a bombshell.”

Olive grinned, reaching over to give your hand a squeeze. “We’re happy for you, though! Even if you’re terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Yes, we’re so happy for you,” Kayla said, grinning. “But you’re not getting off that easy.”

You frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Details,” Kayla demanded, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “We need all the details. How did he confess? Was it as cute as we’ve been imagining?”

“Wait,” Olive interjected. “You’re not the one who confessed, are you?”

You didn’t get to answer them because your other friends soon arrived, making the space livelier with their chatter and greetings. Hendery slid onto the long chair next to you, giving you a mischievous grin. You rolled your eyes at him, turning away in feigned annoyance. As you did, you spotted Jeno, and your face lit up. You waved happily at him.

“Oh, shit. I forgot about him,” Hendery muttered next to you, rising to his feet to move elsewhere.

Jeno smiled gratefully at Hendery as he claimed the seat next to you. Glancing at you with a sweet smile, he said, “How was class?”

You shrugged. “You already know how they are.”

“Extremely boring?” he said, echoing the same answer you’d always given him.

You nodded, smiling as he took your hand under the table, intertwining your fingers with his and resting them on his thigh. You and your friends talked over a hearty meal. And while you had expected them to at least be surprised that you and Jeno were finally dating, you realized that it was better that their attentions were elsewhere.

Jeno was more attentive than usual, making sure you were eating well, refilling your water, and just generally being… boyfriend-y. You had initially thought you’d be detached from your circle during lunch, that all of your attention would be directed at Jeno. But it seemed like your friends were right, the signs were already there. It was as if nothing had changed at all.

“I should get to class,” Kayla said after checking the time on her watch.

“Oh crap, me too,” Olive added. One by one, your friends started dispersing, rushing to their classes or heading back home.

“Let’s go, babygirl,” Hendery said in a sing-song, standing up and slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

Without thinking much about it, out of habit, you stood up to oblige, and Jeno held the hem of your shirt to stop you. You glanced at him. 

“Let’s go together,” he said with a pout.

“Oh, okay,” you replied, sitting back down. "Of course."

For a moment, it hit you that being together with Jeno meant you’d start doing things as a couple, and that might mean figuring out what’s okay with friends and what isn’t.

“Bye Deryry,” you grinned at Hendery, waving a hand. “Have fun being lonely.”

Hendery grimaced. “I hate it when you get a boyfriend.”

“Bye-bye!” you teased, sticking your tongue out. Deep inside, the word ‘boyfriend’ is echoing in your mind. It was a seemingly ordinary term, but it made you feel giddy, as it was the label that cemented the reality of your relationship with Jeno.

After Hendery was finally out of earshot, Jeno pouted at you, “Why does he call you that?”

“What? Baby girl?” you asked, and he nodded. “He’s been calling me that for ages.”

“I see. But why?” he asked, shifting slightly in his seat and brushing something off your shoulder.

You shrugged. “I forgot the reason, but I do know it wasn’t nice. He calls me baby girl to annoy me.”

Jeno’s pout didn’t disappear as he twirled some strands of your hair around his finger, lifting them to his nose. “Sounds more like an endearment to me.”

You shuddered at the thought. “Trust me, it isn’t. Ask any of our friends—or my parents. He used to always call me that to make fun of me. It kind of just stuck after all these years.”

“Okay, I trust you,” he said, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

"Ooh, is my boyfriend showing a bit of jealousy on our first week together?” you teased.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a very jealous man,” Jeno replied with a grin.

You snorted. “That’s funny because I’m a very jealous woman.”

“Good. I like my women jealous.”

“Oh?” you raised an eyebrow. “Which of your exes was the most jealous?”

Jeno seemed to think for a moment before grinning. “I could answer that, but it feels like a trap.”

You smirked. “Oh, so you remember which one? She must have been pretty memorable.”

Jeno burst into laughter, throwing his head back. “Not memorable enough to have my friends challenge their team to a sports game just to get back at them, though.”

You paused, momentarily confused, then remembered the time you cheered for Mark during a basketball game against your ex’s team. “Hey, how did you even know about that?”

Jeno’s grin widened. “You were so passionate. Even more so than when you cheered for me at the Sports’ Fest championship.”

“My god,” you blurted, covering your mouth out of embarrassment. “Well, for the record, it was two different kinds of passion. I hated my ex, but I liked you!” you declared, pressing your index finger against his chest.

He caught your finger, holding it close to his heart, grinning cheekily. “That’s how long you’ve liked me?”

“No. I liked you long before that.”

“Did you? Really?”

“Yes. I liked you the first time I saw you at the library in my hometown.”

He frowned. “That’s the first time you saw me?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s true!”

Walking to your class, Jeno told you about the time he first saw you, how deeply intriguing you were, and how much of an impression you left on him. He told you how that cascaded into a series of events and encounters that led to this—this right now, the two of you, holding hands along the hallways of NCIT as he walked you to your class.

The unexpected memories—all of it made you realize just how deeply your lives had been intertwined, even before you were fully aware of it.

“So, what other secrets are you hiding from me?” you asked stopping in front of your classroom.

Jeno’s grin turned mischievous. “Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out.”

“I think I can manage that. But for now, I have class,” you whispered, sealing the promise with another kiss, knowing that with Jeno, every day would be a new adventure.

When you and Jeno were alone together, it felt like the world shrank to just the two of you. Whether you were tangled up together or quietly doing your own thing, there was contentment in the air. This afternoon was no different. You spent most of the day in bed, editing your thesis proposal on your laptop, while Jeno was beside you, sometimes engrossed in a book, other times wandering around the house doing little chores.

After finally finishing your work, you realized Jeno had been gone for a while. You closed your laptop and went looking for him, eager to enjoy his company after hours of academic drudgery.

You found him on the couch, deeply focused on his phone, his thumbs flying over the screen. Your heart swelled at the sight of him, and without thinking, you hopped onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What are you up to?” you asked, your voice playful, your lips brushing his ear.

Jeno didn’t look up, but the corners of his mouth lifted as you kissed his cheek. “Playing a game with the guys,” he replied, still absorbed in his phone. He leaned into your kiss as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Finished with your thesis?”

“Finally,” you sighed, resting your head against his chest. “Can you put that down for a sec? I want some cuddles.”

Jeno’s lips curled into a smile, but he kept tapping on his screen. “Cuddles and kisses?”

You hummed in agreement, your fingers trailing along the back of his neck. “Yes, please.”

“Alright, just give me a second…” he said, his voice trailing off as he focused on what you assumed was a crucial moment in his game.

Unable to resist teasing him, you kissed his cheek again, then his nose. Sensing what was coming, Jeno pursed his lips, clearly anticipating a kiss. But instead of kissing his lips, you kissed his other cheek, then his forehead, and back to his nose, deliberately avoiding his waiting lips.

Jeno chuckled softly, finally looking up from his phone. “What are you doing?” he asked, amusement dancing in his eyes as he leaned in for a proper kiss.

You dodged at the last second, kissing his forehead instead and grinning mischievously.

Jeno tutted, pretending to be exasperated, though his eyes were full of affection. “You little tease,” he murmured, setting his phone aside.

He shifted to wrap his arms around you, pulling you close until there was no space left between you. “Stay still,” he said, his voice low as he cupped your face in his hands and leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss.

When he pulled away, his eyes were warm and full of love, his smile as lovely as ever. “See? That’s more like it.”

You pouted, pretending to be indifferent even though butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “Be honest, you’re obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

Jeno scoffed loudly, as if offended by the suggestion. “I thought you knew that already?” he said with a laugh, tightening his hold around your waist. “That’s it. Let’s go back to bed.”

“What? Why?” you whined, though you made no move to resist. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his familiar, comforting scent. “I’ve been in bed all day.”

“Don’t care,” Jeno declared, his tone light but insistent. “I need to show you exactly how obsessed I am with you.”

Before you could protest, Jeno scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom. You squealed with laughter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

Three months had passed since you and Jeno first started dating, and life had never felt more perfectly chaotic. The two of you had settled into a routine, the kind that comes with knowing someone as deeply as you did. But as much as your relationship with Jeno blossomed, your friendships remained just as important.

Your group of friends had become something of a family—a loud, boisterous, and wonderfully supportive family.

“So, Olive,” Kayla started with a smirk, “are you going to force us to pose for you again today? I’m still recovering from last week’s ‘artistic vision’.”

Olive rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at her lips. “Please, Kayla, you’re practically a natural in front of the camera. I’m just trying to help you discover your true calling.”

“Yeah, right,” Kayla shot back. “I think I’ll stick to law school, thanks.”

You laughed along with them, leaning into Jeno, who was sitting comfortably beside you. His hand found yours under the table, fingers lacing together with ease. Olive caught the movement and raised her camera, pretending to take a candid shot.

“There! That’s the perfect shot—lovebirds in their natural habitat,” Olive teased.

You played along, giving her a mock-serious look. “At least make sure we look good. I don’t want to be tagged in another one of your experimental edits.”

Olive giggled. “No promises!”

Hendery slid into the seat beside Olive, peeking at the camera. Olive showed it to him, saying, “They look great, don’t they?”

Hendery grimaced. “No. They look obscenely happy. It’s making me sick.”

Jeno smirked, grinning. “Jealous much? Don’t worry, you’ll always be her second favorite.”

Hendery laughed, nudging Jeno with his shoulder. “Second favorite? Please, Jeno, I’m at least tied for first.”

You shook your head at their banter, but you couldn’t help smiling. “You guys aren’t even in my top three.”

Jeno and Hendery stared at you for a hot minute, appalled. You snickered. “I’m serious. Sienna is my number one…”

Kayla raised a hand, “I’m her number two.”

“Three!” Olive added.

Hendery and Jeno exchanged looks. “So I’m number four?” asked Hendery, pointing to himself.

“No you’re not,” Jeno said, shaking his head.

“You guys need to stop doing that, seriously,” you chided, scowling at Hnedery across the table.

Hendery pretended to think about it. “Nah. Request denied. It’s fun watching Jeno get all territorial.”

“I’m not territorial,” Jeno denied, scoffing.

Hendery leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms with a satisfied smile. “Sure, you’re not.”

Across the table, Jaemin and Yangyang were locked in their usual debate, this time over which video game was superior. Renjun, sitting between them, looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but was too polite to say so.

“I’m telling you, ‘Realm of Legends’ has the best graphics,” Jaemin insisted, waving his fork for emphasis.

Yangyang shook his head. “Graphics aren’t everything, dude. ‘Dragon Quest’ has a better storyline.”

Renjun sighed dramatically. “Or we could all just agree that you’re both nerds and call it a day?”

Jaemin shot him a playful glare. “Says the guy who spent all weekend on his computer building a virtual city.”

“It’s called architecture, Jaemin. And it was my final assignment. I wouldn't expect you to understand,” Renjun retorted with a smirk, earning a chuckle from the group.

Meanwhile, Mark was unusually quiet, his attention fixed on his phone. You noticed the faint smile playing on his lips and couldn’t resist leaning over to nudge him.

“Oh my God, Mark!” you exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. “Who’s got you all smiley?”

Mark’s head snapped up, his cheeks instantly turning red. “W-What? No one! It’s just...a friend.”

“A friend, huh?” Olive said, her tone dripping with disbelief. “A friend who happens to be making you blush like that?”

Jaemin leaned in, grinning mischievously. “Is it that girl from Hyunjin’s party? You’ve been texting her a lot lately.”

Mark’s face grew even redder, and he tried to hide behind his phone. “It’s nothing serious, really. We’re just talking.”

“Talking,” Kayla repeated, drawing out the word like it was the most scandalous thing in the world. “Mark, sweetie, you’re adorable.”

You and the girls burst into laughter, much to Mark’s dismay. But underneath all the teasing, you were genuinely happy for him. It wasn’t every day that Mark got close to someone, and seeing him this flustered was a good sign.

Across the table, Haechan and Sienna were sharing an inside joke, whispering and giggling like the adorable couple they were. Haechan caught you watching and flashed you a cheeky grin.

“What? Don’t be jealous. You’ve got your own boyfriend now,” he teased, nudging Jeno with his elbow.

You rolled your eyes, but a smile tugged at your lips as you glanced at Jeno.

Kayla groaned dramatically. “I swear, if you two start being all cutesy, I’m moving to another table.”

As the lunch period wound down, you leaned closer to Jeno, your head resting on his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head, and you closed your eyes, letting the warmth of the moment sink in. Life was good, and with your friends by your side—and Jeno’s hand in yours—it could only get better.

And as you sat there, surrounded by the people who meant the most to you, you knew that this is exactly where you want to be. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

[fin]

[bottomlouisficfest]

We hope you’ve enjoyed the fics from weeks 5-6 of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest 2023! Every two weeks, we’re compiling all of the fics from that period into one roundup post so they’re easy to find for anyone looking to catch up on fics they missed. Enjoy these amazing fics and give them the love they deserve!

splash me across the silver screen

A fic by pleasinglouis on AO3 | @pleasing-louis on Tumblr | @pleasing_louis on Twitter

23k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Harry shrugged. “Maybe you just need to get even more outside your comfort zone. Maybe we need to try something a bit more… adventurous?” Curiosity successfully piqued, Louis tilted his head and toyed with the fringe dangling from his lace shrug. “Like what?" “We, uhm—maybe we try filming you in more compromising positions,” Harry suggested carefully. He kept his tone low and even as he studied Louis’ expression, hands skating over his curves soothingly. If Louis didn’t know any better he might have thought that Harry was talking about filming him naked. But that couldn’t be right—could it? “Like porn?” Or Louis is a struggling actor who gets nervous when he's being filmed and Harry comes up with a plan to help him relax when the cameras are rolling.

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Spiders Don't Fly But Gods Do

A fic by SunshineBoy742 on AO3

7k | Mature | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Louis Tomlinson is an underpaid photojournalist in NYC. He leads a pretty average life, getting shots of town heroes, dodging flirtatious remarks from old coworkers and being the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. But what happens when a sex god comes to crash in his apartment?

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i've got something to confess, i keep you in my pocket to use

A fic by babylwt on AO3 | @finelineangie on Twitter

17k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

"You made Harry Styles practically swoon over you, admit you’re beautiful to basically the world, he asked for your number and you said no. Like, you have to be joking.” Bella tsks as she sits up straight, grabbing Louis’ computer off his lap and putting it off to the side. Louis moves to reach for it, sighing in defeat as he leans back against his pillows. “You know how it goes with those sports guys. They’re just after having a good time before they have to go to the next city and play another game and find another person to swoon.” Louis explains. “It just wouldn’t have worked and I’m too busy right now.” Louis shrugs. “Too busy to fuck Harry Styles?” Bella asks with a raised brow. “Yes, even too busy to fuck Harry Styles.” Or Prompt 251: Harry is a hockey player and he's in the middle of a press conference when Louis, a journalist, asks him a question. Harry sees him ans says something like "oh my god, he's so beautiful" to his teammate and only realized his mic was on when the pretty boy blushes and the room breaks in a laugh

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The Knothead Neighbor

A fic by Kbbean on AO3 | @Kristen09924842 on Twitter

8k | Mature | Tumblr post | Twitter post

This was my prompt: Prompt 3: Neighbors AU, preferably ABO! Harry works evenings/nights (maybe like a surgeon something that requires him to be gone for long hours) and has a cat. The cat has a little kitty door at the back so that it can explore and such. Louis just moved next door and the cat seems to always end up at his door. Eventually, Louis lets the cat in, as he’s new and he’s feeling quite lonely. They become fast friends, so much so that the cat prefers to stay with Louis rather than go home. Harry gets concerned that the cat starts to stay out all day/night so he eventually leaves a note attached to the cat’s collar with its name and phone number. Louis texts him telling him he’s his neighbor and not to worry, the cat just likes to hang with him as it might be lonely. Harry gets pissed that this stranger is stealing his cat so he goes to confront Louis and tell him to stop stealing his cat. Of course, as soon as he sees Louis, he falls in love with him and the rest is history. (If ABO could be cute that both Harry and Louis like to cuddle with the cat because it holds the other’s scent)

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I found an angel so divine

A fic by april_iris on AO3 | @april_kmm on Twitter

31k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Arishem should have abducted a human instead, to fiddle with their memory. Would have been more effective.” Thena, who had been staring into space for a few minutes, looked up. “Why don’t we just bring a human with us?” Everyone turned to stare at her. “What?” she retorted sternly. “Why not introduce him directly to a human being, so he can see how special the human race is?” Pip, who had dozed off against a wall with his pint still in hand, woke up with a start, while Druig tried to make sense of Thena’s words. “Not a bad idea, but what human being could be worthy enough to represent the rest of humanity?” Angel. Eros thought. “Louis!” Pip shouted. Or Eros/Harry is a dreamboat with singular powers who loves love more than anything and longs to feel it one day, and Louis is the kind human who shows him the way.

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always had that heart of mine

A fic by localopa on AO3 | @voulezloux on Tumblr

8k | Mature | Tumblr post | Twitter post

louis is nesting, though he won’t admit to it. between being ill, the stress of uni, and near drops, the only thing keeping him afloat is harry’s scent. the fact they don’t get along is neither here nor there

--

you know it ain't fiction, just a natural fact

A fic by anditsonlyforthebrave on AO3 | @HARRYSC1NEMA on Twitter

13k | Not Rated | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Look, Lou” Harry whispers, “I can’t do it, and as much as I like having dinner with you, and hanging out, I think we should just do it without the tutoring part because I am not smart enough for school.” “That’s bullshit,” Louis answers quickly, “what do you like?” he asks, “I mean, other than football and asking me stuff about my family. There must be something else you’re good at.” “I play football and fuck, Louis. That’s it.” Louis definitely doesn’t flinch at that. He does not. --- Harry is the golden boy of the college football's team, Louis is their professors' golden student and they definitely don't have anything in common. Falling in love would be dumb.

--

The Bluest war and peace

A fic by Hazzaslittle28 on AO3 | @hazzaslittle28 on Tumblr | @Hazzaslittle28 on Twitter

27k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

For centuries the Black Haven pack had a tradition where the first born omegas and alphas were to be introduced to each other. The pups were barely ten, dressed in their finest clothings and made to look presentable. That's when he first saw his ruins and he knew that he was never going to be the same.

--

could start a cult

A fic by nouies on AO3 | @nouies on Tumblr | @_nouies on Twitter

9k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

He lowers down the top that Louis is wearing, successfully unclasping his nursing bra as well, letting Louis’ tits bounce at the sudden movement. Harry massages both breasts to stimulate the milk flow, and he can feel his cock hardening inside his pants. or...Harry can’t get enough of Louis’ breast milk.

--

Deleted Scenes

A fic by Stria (Asia117) on AO3 | @nooradeservedbetter on Tumblr | @Striaaaaaaaaa on Twitter

34k | Explicit | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Do you trust me?” asks Louis in a whisper, mouth pressed on the crown of Harry’s head. His voice has that raw quality to it that Harry has only heard a few times, and he takes a deep breath. “I do,” he responds, and he could add something to keep up the charade, tell Louis that of course he does, he’s here for him, to support him, but he doesn’t really feel like doing anything. He’s going away in a very short while, after all. He can’t find the strength to keep up the farce. “I told you everything would be alright,” says Louis. “I told you we will be alright. Do you trust me on this?” Harry hesitates. He feels Louis’ arms tighten around him, and he brings one of his hands over Louis’. He doesn’t want to lie, he doesn’t. Agent Harry Styles was injured on the job a few months back, and gets roped in one last mission before he can retire prematurely: playing house with Louis, a widower who has amnesia. The assignment seems simple at the beginning, but soon enough Harry's twisted in a web of his own making, and can't get out anymore.

--

Remember to give these fics kudos and comments, and spread their fic posts!

--

All roundups will be linked here:

Weeks 1-2 Roundup

Weeks 3-4 Roundup

Weeks 5-6 Roundup

Weeks 7-8 Roundup

Weeks 9-10 Roundup

Week 11 Roundup

[wizardingworldlibrary]

Mpreg (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

Bound To You (ao3) - Scaranpannoir harry/tom, harry/tom/voldemort, sirius/remus/snape E, 119k

Summary: Voldemort's stray soul found its' way into Hogwarts grounds and possessed a magical snake, one strong enough to give him the sanity he needed to survive. While hunting, he caught on a unique smell and found Harry Potter, sprawled on the ground, with an unnaturally high body heat...

Cruel Intentions (ao3) - Titti remus/snape E, 23k

Summary: Severus's life is changed by Dumbledore's meddling. Will he and Remus find happiness? Will they find their child? This is a response to a very specific challenge by Myrddin Ambrosius. Please make sure to read the notes for all the possible warnings.

Expecting (ao3) - bixgirl1 draco/harry, hermione/ron E, 9k

Summary: Running into Malfoy wasn't a rare thing. But running into him coming out of the male pregnancy offices at St. Mungo's was downright shocking.

I Thought It Was The Flu (ao3) - HPRoundRobin M, 20k

Summary: Severus thinks he is sick, but finds out it's much more than he anticipated.

Just Another Day (ao3) - HPRoundRobin harry/snape M, 8k

Summary: AriaFic's Challenge: It's Christmas Eve and Severus is about to receive three unwanted visitors. Will he change or lose what means the most to him?

Lord of Time (ao3) - DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan harry/tom M, 494k

Summary: Harry Potter is the Master of Death and Lord of Time through his joining of the three Hallows together. During a duel that wasn't going well, he jumps to the 1940's and has a talk with the true Master of Death. Can harry prevent the destruction that will occur? Can he change Voldemort prevent him from becoming the darkest wizard of all time? Or will he be caught in Tom's web? Slash TMR/HP?

Metamorphosis (ao3) - zillah37 (visionshadows) snape/remus, minerva/poppy T, 11k

Summary: In the final moments of her life, Hermione chooses to save her child.

Not Quite As Expected (ao3) - Kishijoten draco/harry E, 17k

Summary: Harry longs for fatherhood, and Draco strikes a bargain

Of Blood and Fire and Magick (ao3) - Byrdie harry/snape, albus/others E, 12k

Summary: AU take on The Chamber of Secrets.

Something Only Mine (ao3) - Juxian Tang albus/snape M, 8k

Summary: Everything comes for a price. When you take something that doesn’t belong to you, you should be prepared to pay.

Their Destiny (ao3) - Mariej harry/snape E, 99k

Summary: some prophecies have to be fulfilled, even if the two persons who have to do that are not really willing to do that at first. But Dumbledore is here to make sure that Harry Potter and Severus Snape accomplish their sacred duty.

The Price Of Freedom (ao3) - Faithless_3105 harry/snape, sirius/charlie M, 192k

Summary: After his showdown with Voldemort at the end of his first year, Harry decides he's had enough of being pushed around by the Dursleys and, since Dumbledore wouldn't let him go anywhere else, decided to try and negotiate for his freedom.

What will come of these negotiations and what effect will it have on Harry and his school years if he has the chance to choose his own path in life?

The Supposed Tale of Unrequited Love (ao3) - DeirdraCromwell draco/harry, sirius/remus M, 62k

Summary: This is an epic story, each chapter is very long, which is a WIP, detailing the lives of the Marauders and those around them. It goes through Remus' life, the birth of Harry, his marriage, his friends' marriages, the births of their children. I plan to have a sequel series chronicling the lives of all of their children if I can ever get this series finished. There are many pairings, mostly m/m and one or two het. I don't want to divulge any except the main two, so you'll have to read to find out.

Unexpected Developments (ao3) - Slayer_of_Destiny harry/lucius M, 97k

Summary: After different events in The Department of Mysteries Harry gets some shocking news. His whole life is about to change course, and Lucius Malfoy gets a second chance to love.

Unexpectedly Expecting (ao3) - rotschopf draco/harry M, 7k

Summary: draco's and harry's tryst has consequences

Unexpected Results (ao3) - PadfootLivesOn draco/harry E, 17k

Summary: ~Complete~ SLASH! HP/DM Draco and Harry have a one-night stand, and Harry gets pregnant. Harry is in love with Draco, but he thinks Draco doesn’t love him, so he doesn’t tell him that he’s pregnant. What happens when Harry gets captured by Death Eaters and goes into labor? Read and find out! ^_^

[eclaires03]

~Rec. Master List~

Note: NONE of these works are mine! I simply read too many fics/smaus and want to share all my favs to everyone. Please give all the writers love and support for THEIR work because without them, we wouldn't be able to read these incredible fics! Don't forget to leave likes and reblogs on their works!

Enyphen

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

SMAU - 💫 | Oneshots - 🔮 | Imagines - 💭 | Reactions - 💌 | NSFW - 🔞 | Personal Fav - ₊˚⊹♡

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

Jungwon

haru yo, koi 🔮 ₊˚⊹♡ 34.9k wc (ik it’s alot but its WORTH, trust) By @amakumos Baked with Love 🔮 ₊˚⊹♡ 6.3k wc By @demusewriter in my head 🔮12.9k wc By @nwjws closer🔮4.7k wc By @palajae A Pin Straight To My Heart 🔮5.3k wc By @snwpcktz no one has ever cared about me like you do 💭0.7 wc By @heeliopheelia the language of flowers 💫₊˚⊹♡ By @soobnny Sea Salt 🔮🔞 ₊˚⊹♡ By @karinasbaby

Heeseung

the brother's best friend trope 🔮🔞 29k wc By @taeghi (pt.2) Hands On you 💫₊˚⊹♡ By @thatfeelinwhenyou Pool Party 🔮🔞 7.3k wc By @prod-ddeonu Win one Win me 🔮₊˚⊹♡ 14k wc by @jaylver

Jay

Coming soon!~

Jake

Someday 🔮₊˚⊹♡ 11.6 wc By @endthedream kiwi and layla 🔮₊˚⊹♡ 26.3k wc By @asahicore BET 💭4.3k wc By @strzlun Hype Boy 💫🔞₊˚⊹♡ By @onlyjaeyun Bad News First 🔮🔞 ₊˚⊹♡ 23k wc By @asahicore

Sunghoon

Fate 💫 By @heesbaby

Sunoo

You’re so easy to love 💭 1.1k wc By @heeliopheelia misfit 🔮3.7k wc By @palajae

Ni-ki

Who the Hell is Ni-ki?! 💫 By nwjws major, minor, and the things in between 🔮7k wc By @jaemified

OT7

seeing you at their concert 💌0.84k wc By @yenqa but my heart it carries on - demigod series 🔮₊˚⊹♡ By cloudninescenes-archived for with you is where i want to be - hogwarts series 🔮By cloudninescenes-archived Apocalypse - ₊˚⊹♡ Mini Series By eeunoia WE DATING FR?! 💌 By @hoony2k

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Mutual Pining Masterlist

Apricity - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) Michael/Ashton T, 23k

Summary: In which Ashton and Michael miss their flight home for the holidays and are forced to spend Christmas together.

a simple equation with no complications (ao3) - cyberpunknct Luke/Ashton N/R, 12k

Summary: luke ends up tutoring the older boy that can't seem to concentrate for a decent amount of time, but he doesn't really mind it.

Can You See Inside (ao3) - lourrygum Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton E, 11k

Summary: Michael is ridiculously cute and has amazing thighs and it's cool, it's fine, Luke's okay with it.

Comment, Like, Subscribe My Heart (ao3) - thesoulsailor Michael/Luke N/R, 54k

Summary: Youtube!AU in which Luke is a non-binary beauty guru, Michael is the lead singer of Ashton's cover band and Calum thinks gender roles are overrated anyways.

Daydreams - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) Michael/Ashton T, 6k

Summary: It's not Michael's fault the owner of Fletcher's Flowers is so good-looking. And no one—Luke—should be able to blame him for wanting to come to the shop and admire the pretty buff man with large delicate hands as he assembles bouquets or pets his cat.

extra credit (ao3) - galacticsugar Luke/Calum E, 21k

Summary: Calum smiles at the last person in line at the bar as he hands them their glass of wine, then turns to Luke and sighs heavily, crossing his arms over his chest. The material of his shirt wrinkles and folds and stretches in all the right ways. “From the first day of school after I moved here, I knew you were going to be a problem.”

“A problem?” Luke feigns offense, scoffing and sucking violently at his tiny straw, trying to get to the dredges of his drink. Calum rolls his eyes and starts making another. By the end of the night, Luke’s going to have the process of Calum assembling a California Dream emblazoned in his mind for eternity. “I wasn’t the one who showed up and immediately acted like I owned the place.”

i’ll be patient despite our racing hearts (ao3) - expectopatronuz Michael/Ashton, Luke/Calum T, 5k

Summary: The thing is, Michael and Ashton aren’t not friends. They do things that friends do. They enjoy each other’s company. They have the same taste in music. They have good talks. “You can be friends with your boyfriend, Michael,” Calum says, exasperated.

or, Michael and Ashton are accidentally fake dating

I Only Wanna Talk (ao3) - dafeedil Michael/Calum E, 16k

Summary: He thinks it should feel wrong, kissing Calum here in the dark, when the thousand dollars he paid to have this is sitting neatly in its envelope just feet away. But it doesn’t feel wrong, not at all. In fact, it feels unnatural not to be kissing Calum.

Or, more simply, Michael falls in love with a prostitute.

i wanna hold your hand while we’re growing up (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) Michael/Calum T, 12k

Summary: 5 times Michael grabbed Calum’s hand over the years + 1 time Calum grabbed Michael’s

I Wanna Sleep Next To You... (ao3) - milecgv Michael/Calum, Bryana/Ashton T, 54k

Summary: Calum gets the opportunity to live out his dreams in New York City but it proves too much for him, and on a lonely night he ends up calling the professional cuddle service he swore he'd never call.

put the stars in our eyes (ao3) - burstintocolor (anchormate) Luke/Calum M, 25k

Summary: Ben hangs up, leaving Luke still reeling. His family thinks he and Cal are dating. And they weren’t surprised. They’d been waiting for it. His mum cried because she was so happy for him. And worst of all, he hadn’t had a chance to correct Ben. Luke rolls over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a groan.

or, luke's family thinks he's dating calum. luke doesn't correct them.

Take Notes - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) Luke/Calum E, 78k

Summary: “Calum,” Luke replies shakily, reeling. “I can’t take your virginity.”

“You’re not taking it,” Calum says in a small laugh, bobbing his head, “I’m giving it to you.”

Or, the one where Calum wants someone to teach him about sex and Luke happens to be an education major.

The Best Autumn Ever (ao3) - merlypops Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton T, 19k

Summary: Luke and Michael are too scared to admit that they like each other, Calum and Ashton want them to get their shit together (and are also dating), and the four of them have the best autumn ever.

The Twinkling Trinket (ao3) - fourdrunksluts Luke/Calum, Michael/Ashton N/R, 12k

Summary: Calum's a mischievous shapeshifter, who steals from Luke's boutique to earn his attention.

trusting you (ao3) - lifewasradical Luke/Ashton, background Michael/Calum E, 38k

Summary: He clutches a sparkly acoustic guitar in one hand, baby blue painted nails biting into the strings as he waves at the crowd and settles onto his stool. “Hello,” he says, voice swaying from a deep register to a higher head voice with one single word, elongated through a crooked smile. “I’m Levi Halloway, and I’m here to play a few songs for you tonight,” he says, plucking a chord as he straightens his shoulders. His shirt strains over the length of his wingspan.

Ashton would be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued already, drawn in after only a handful of words. He’s seen more random performers than he can count, mostly no name aspiring artists who just want someone to listen to them. Half the time they’re good enough to get a rousing applause at the end, while the other half of the time everyone has left the sitting area before they finish their set.

Other than Ashton of course. He always stays until the end.

Truth or Dare (ao3) - L4ashton Luke/Ashton

Summary: It was a single question that started it all. A single question that brought Ashton’s world crumbling down, and a single question that fixed it too.

walmart sonata (ao3) - kaleidoscopeminds Luke/Calum M, 33k

Summary: Luke shakes his head. He doesn’t really understand Calum. What is this beautiful man doing being sweet and kind to him in the Walmart he works at several times a week? Luke’s life doesn’t include things like this. He just smiles at Calum slightly disbelievingly, it's not like Calum will ever really see him perform. He’s just a hot stranger from his grocery store.

Where the Heart Is (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) Luke/Ashton, side Michael/Calum E, 86k

Summary: By the time that Ashton Irwin is twenty-seven years old, he's already a widower and a father of three. After his third nanny quits on him, he comes to the conclusion that life in general doesn't seem to like him very much—that is, until his luck turns around when he discovers a particular nanny by the name of Luke H.

The question now is, can a twenty-two year old man with mile-long legs and a smile made of gold really be the super nanny that Ashton needs?

Perhaps so.

[zablionsea]

How You Can Beat Avalon Drake (SPOILER WARNING)

Avalon Drake is an incredibly tough foe, dealing around 14k damage per turn, able to freeze a couple of your monsters if it desires, and occasionally deal around 23k damage in one turn (in my experience). Its attacks are unrelenting, and it has around 1 million hit points. How do you defeat that?

I have a few team ideas, and I’ll list them from most effective to least. All monsters are at level 99.

First: a Mono-fire team. This seems to be consistent and does not require getting a useful helper. However, I am using a Skydragon (which can be a pain to get) and a Z-Box exclusive monster. Note that.

Leader: Flamestreak Dragon, Tempest – Its leader skill gives a 1.5x boost to HP and ATK of fire monsters on your team. While there is no Fire equivalent to Sea Armor (boosts Water monster HP and DEF by 1.5x), I find that the HP boost alone is enough to tank most hits completely fine. Recovery is also percentage based, it appears, so you get more HP recovered with Heart Orbs cleared. This makes enduring hits much easier. The attack boost is welcomed, especially when you don’t get a good partner for your attempt.

Hellfire Dragon, Inferno – It has great attack and solid defense. While Fire Boost - L could be a useful skill, it’s not useful enough to justify spending points on.

Empress of Serpents, Echidna – She’s here for one reason only: Menace. Menace delays a foe’s turn count by 2 at the cost of 5 skill points. When used on Avalon Drake, you get 3 turns before taking damage. I can pretty consistently earn back those five skill points (sometimes, it does take until getting hit for the gauge to fill from 4 to 5). It can be flaky sometimes, but the extra HP from Flame Rune lets you tank another hit without recovering.

Red Skydragon, El Dorado – In terms of stats, he’s basically a better Inferno, with great attack with solid HP and DEF. He is not here for his skill, and I would advise you not to use it because of how risky it is. If the game allows duplicate monsters on one team, you could just use another El Dorado instead of Inferno.

Wildfire Dragon, Gáe Bolg – For Orb changing to get more Fire Orbs while going through the dungeon. I avoid using Orb change while fighting Avalon Drake in case I fail to get enough skill points for Menace fast enough. Phoenix Knight, Homura works too. Homura has higher HP while Gáe Bolg has higher DEF. Higher HP is probably more useful with Flame Rune, but it’s a matter of personal preference.

Helper is basically irrelevant. With this build, as long as you recover whatever HP and skill points lost over 3 turns, you will defeat Avalon Drake eventually. Just clear any Heart Orbs you see.

If you’re keeping Gáe Bolg, Dragon Asura is fairly useful by boosting the attack of 3 party members. Elder Blaze, ChronoGenbu, Great Valkyrie (obtainable via helper code), Mighty Moai (both helper code and adventurer), Phoenix Knight Homura, or Siren are nice luxuries to have. Outside of the leader, Echidna, and an Orb change skill monster, the rest is flexible. You just need to make sure that your HP is above 30k to be safe to take any single hit. You’re very safe at 40k.

..........

Second is a team I believe I used to beat Avalon Drake for the first time: Mono Dark. I’m not sure if this is the exact build I used, but it seems reasonable.

Leader: Shadowslash Dragon, Eclipse – Lead skill doubles the attack of the team.

Cheat Witch – Change the World (lets you freely move orbs for 10 seconds) lets you build up big combos without relying on skyfall combos.

Night Skydragon, Elysium - Skydragons are strong. Need I say more? I think I also used his skill to get Perfect Defense when I thought I wouldn’t live an attack.

Nightmare Dragon, Kashmar - I don’t know why I included Kashmar besides I like it.

Doom Dragon, Diabolos - Orb change skill.

I think my strategy with this was to partner with Great Valkyrie, and once I reach the boss, I stop time try to hit as hard as possible to defeat it ASAP. I am not sure, though.

..........

For anyone interested in other options, there were 2 strategies that got really close. The first was a mono-Water team with an Abyss lead. It just couldn’t deal enough damage, and I slipped up enough and took too much damage. The second was another strategy with Echidna. I used a Ra or Great Valkyrie lead with some strong monsters. Echidna froze Avalon Drake while I messed around. Ra, given its stringent requirements for activation, required the Change the World skill to work (I am not good enough at this game lol), but that burned through skill points way too quickly. I didn’t have the HP to deal with a lack of Heart Orbs either.

I would guess that a mono-Light with Shemhaza lead might work well like the Fire one, and that might be easier for the main dungeon because nothing resists Light. Mono-Wood with a Garmut lead (HP and DEF boost) or Catoblepas (HP and ATK) could work too. Or your preferred team with a monster that reduces Wood damage (Horai is a good pick for this).

..........

This final battle is really difficult, but with the right team for the job, it can be done.

[monster-romantic69]

Monster of the Week Dashboard Simulator: The Bachelorette Version

🗑 servant-number-91 Follow

hey has anyone else noticed that people keep disappearing from the staff?

⬜️ servant-number-68-deactivated

i saw people going behind corners with Virgil? and then never returning?

🎥 servant-number-82 Follow

yo what happened to that guy

(111 notes)

🐉 smoulder-daddy1978 Follow

looking for a sugar baby: i own a house and gold and fire and also a house did i mention the house? requirements: must be a princess. or just a lady. or honestly anyone really.

🐉 smoulder-daddy1978 Follow

who posted this to 4chan they're being mean :(

(23k notes)

🦇 lucretius-moonmoon Follow

what a beautiful evening for..... a stroll

🩸 ONTHEVIRG Follow

🦇 lucretius-moonmoon Follow

do you mind.

(3 notes)

🍄 fungibleinfluence Follow

one of the best things about autumnus in aotearoa: the native werewere-kōkako/sky-blue mushroom (entoloma hochstetteri) is particularly abundant

look at these cute guys!

👊 who-is-vo Follow

yummy

(1.2k notes)

🩸 ONTHEVIRG Follow

FUCK YEAH IM SO COOL

🤢 ONTHEWIRG Follow

bro?

🩸 ONTHEVIRG Follow

the fuck

🤢 ONTHEWIRG Follow

(20 notes)

👑 the-iron-princess Follow

never asked for any of this

🐴 shadowlaid3 Follow

hey? can we talk?

👑 the-iron-princess Follow

@lucretius-moonmoon 👀❤️💥🤝🍆🍆💦💦🍑🍑

(112k notes)

❤️‍🔥 virgcretius Follow

the blonde-haired man stalked down the hallway, his cape waving in the background as the moon shone down against his glossy, pure skin. his aura is unmatched, his vibes are haunting. he knows the layout of this castle like the back of his hand, and all the people in it, so he knows when something is wrong; when there is someone who's there who shouldn't.

Lucretius turns the hallway and stops, suddenly, blonde hair waving in the wind. His eyes fall into slits as they land on the man who interrupted his peaceful night: Virgil. The man who has plagued his dreams and lingered in every corner for as long as he could remember. He's here, in the undead flesh.

The two men stand across each other, staring, heat dancing between their eyes. The tension feels physical as Lucretius takes one step forward, and then another, until they both rush towards each other with passion and meet in the middle, lips locking, the moon shining down on their embrace. It is everything all at once; fireworks, butterflies, blood, all mixing within this one exchange. It sets the universe alight, and turns the planet on its axis.

Eventually, they pull away, and Virgil, strong and powerful, turns away, tears falling down his face that Lucretius cannot see. The world is against them. They only have so much time.

🩸 ONTHEVIRG Follow

Remember to reblog and like if you want me to continue! This little excerpt is something small out of a bigger fic I'm working on, and I'm excited to share it with all of you! 😊

🩸 ONTHEVIRG Follow

FUCK YOU GUYS STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY ACCOUNT GOT HACKED

(69k notes)

[atzfilm]

clair de lune. (m) - part seven

genre; yandere, vampire!au, reincarnation! au angst, smut

pairing; ot8/f.reader

word count: 23k

warnings; manipulation, explicit scenes, murder, blood, smut, gaslighting, prior abuse/assault mentioned, knives, wounds, brief talk of religion, mass murder

summary; you’ve finally gotten the chance to enter “clair de lune”, a infamous night club to see the band hiraeth. but why did you feel like their eyes only watched you?

note: this first deals with the subject of yandere. with that being said, a lot of the things happening in this fiction will be manipulation, gaslighting, and various other techniques displayed by the characters. if you are not comfortable with that, please do not read.

masterlist | final

Chapter 7:

He balances the two fruits in his hands. In another time, maybe years from now, it’d be humorous to take the box of peaches and bring them home to you. Maybe you’d scold him but laugh after a while. But now, it’s not the case. He grimaces at the thin film coating the apples, eyes flicking to the imported country it came from. He only sighs, placing it lightly on the top of the pile and continuing down the aisle. What other fruits did you like? He cannot recall any that you’ve mentioned, Wooyoung being the one to insist on buying you peaches. It’s interesting that none of them asked you if you truly liked it, if it was your favorite fruit just as it was Rose’s. Another failure on their part, he supposes. In all honesty, he cannot recall you mentioning anything about peaches. He throws in a few vegetables he’s seen you eat without scrunching your nose, a warmth overcoming him at the image. Though you are not as close with him as many of the others, he enjoys your presence, nonetheless. If it were possible to somehow turn back time, make you see him as he is now, he would have. If it were so, maybe you’d see him in a different light. Maybe you would smile at him just as you do with Yeosang.

Or did, rather.

He sighs, placing his basket upon the counter and softly thanking the cashier for scanning. Just as he begins to bag a familiar scent fills his nose.

“How unfortunate,” he murmurs, not bothering to glance back to see the man. “We have an agreement, Han. Or are you too isolated from the others that Subin cannot reign you in?”

“Your scent has always been in its best condition.” He enters his view, leaning against the wall as he watches him pack the food. “I’d never thought I'd see the day Park Seonghwa shopped in a market.”

“Come back at the same time in a few days and you’ll see me again.” He ties the bag, eyes flicking to his old friend’s. He looks sickly in comparison, skin translucent, eyes bloodshot. Even his hair looks thin and brittle, the long strands framing his face can easily fall with a high burst of wind. At another time, he’d feel pity. On another day, he’d even offer him some blood. But all he can do is shake his head, stepping past him.

“You treat me as if we were never friends, Park.”

“What do you expect me to do, welcome you with open arms?” Seonghwa holds the door for him. “We’ve had an agreement for over a century. And as you may know, it’s been broken a few times the past few months. Not wise to come here and break it even more.”

“I have not touched one human on your side.”

“That I can tell,” his breath is long as he turns back to him. “What do you want? Blood? I cannot give it to you, you know that. Joong would kill me before even touching you. And I'd rather keep all my limbs. They're quite helpful–"

"I don't care for blood, Park. If that were the case, I would have left long ago."

He doubts that entirely on his appearance alone. But he lets him speak. There's little chance for anything other than a few jabs here and there. Maybe an insult. "What do you desire then?"

"y/n is leaving," he starts. "Asking how I know is a moot point, but everyone knows. Clans beyond just ours. We aren't sure if Sejun shared it or not, but word is spreading. She will not be as safe as you think outside your walls. Once she is away, she will be hunted. Every vampire desires to taste the blood of the descendant of the first woman who was turned. Especially since she belongs to you all. It will not end well."

It is as he expected. Seonghwa grips his bag, thinking. The first thought is to tell Hongjoong, have him come up with a plan. The next, perhaps tell you of the danger? Have you stay longer in their care? He doubts you'd even consider it. But what other choice does he have? Letting you step outside and die? Seonghwa’s gaze moves to your old best friend's.

"What are you gaining out of telling me this?"

"Protection."

If his brows could furrow tighter, they would. "Pardon?"

He sighs loudly, glancing behind him before turning back around. "Subin is planning something big, and I need your word that you will protect me when it happens. I will do anything for my clan leader, but I cannot and will not risk my life for a woman I barely know."

"That's quite sad, seeing as she's been your friend for several years now."

"Seonghwa," He hisses.

"I cannot promise something that has no value. Unlike you, I am under the will of my captain. What he says goes. If he wants me to kill you at this very moment, I'd do it without hesitation. My loyalty is solid. I am sorry." And it is genuine. Having to nearly beg on your knees in front of your enemy for your life is not what he wishes upon any. It goes beyond pathetic. Almost revolting as he sees the defeat in Seungwoo's gaze.

"Will any of you ever think for yourselves? It's been hundreds of years and you are still under his thumb. It's pitiful. Especially for you, Seonghwa. He will never look at you the way he looks at her. Sooner or later you'll see that he will pick her every time."

His grip tightens around the bag in his hand. "My interpersonal relationships are of no consequence to you. And you're telling me things I already know. Do you think that I've spent these years deluded? I know where I stand in my relationships. But it seems that you still don't," he takes a step toward him. "I feel bad for you. Your clan leader is so involved with himself that he does not care about all of you. Hongjoong could care about me the least and he will never neglect me to the point I'd have to follow my enemy into a grocery store, and beg for protection. It's laughable, now that I look at you."

His lip quips at the glare forming on his face.

"Seems like I've been wrong about you. You're the same as the rest."

"That's your fault for taking my kindness for weakness, Han. Now go before one of the others appear. They don't take trespassing as lightly as I do."

Seungwoo stands there for a moment longer. He looks as if he wants to say more, but all he does is shake his head, disappearing down the street. Once he's out of view, Seonghwa sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. Mild surprise is an understatement. He'd rather not deal with the aftermath of telling the others of his presence, but lying by omission will only make everything much worse.

He slides into his slippers just as he enters his home. There's always a few conversations happening when he enters, often Wooyoung bickering with San, or Mingi and Yunho teasing one another. But all he can hear is silence. He glances in the empty living room before entering the kitchen, placing the groceries on the table. Should he check up on you? Or have you left somewhere with the others? It's not uncommon for one of them to steal you without telling anyone else.

A door just outside the kitchen slams against the wooden pane, splintering from the force. Seonghwa winces, sighing. What happened now? He leaves his groceries unmanned, peeking out the kitchen doorway. Yunho stands there, pacing back and forth, gaze glossed over. He doesn't bother saying a word to him, Mingi stepping out of the room after him. His eyes flick to Seonghwa, widening before looking away.

Said man’s brows furrowed in confusion, “What happened?”

“He took her, hyung,” Mingi whispers, wincing as Yunho’s fist hits the wall beside him. “We were too slow, we didn’t get to her in time.” The steaming coffee in his hand spills, skin unaffected.

Without another word, Seonghwa moves past the both of them, striding down the hall. His eyes move to the small group of them crowding around your door. They step aside as he enters her room. The first thing he notices is the broken window, and no signs of you. All he could think is that you're gone. They lost you when you were underneath their roof. And he was out and about, unable to help.

Just like before.

-

“I’ll take care of you, y/n. I’m not like the rest of them,” his touch is rough, bumpy scars dragging along your cheek. You flinch but he only digs his nails deeper, forcing you to stare at him. Just as he leans forward, you let out a brief cry. His eyes narrow, letting you go. You tug on the metal that encases your ankles, grunting. It’s hopeless, fruitless, you know that. Especially with him standing there and watching you. But you’re desperate, your thoughts only on you leaving.

“What do you hope to achieve with this?” You ask, turning to him. “Do you think this kidnapping will make me trust you? Because I feel far from it, Sejun.”

“From what I remember you liked being tied up.”

“I am not Rose,” your tone is filled with exhaustion. It’s as if none of them listen. You’re not that woman, you’ll never be. No matter how much they desire it. “I”ll never be her. All of you need to move on for fuck’s sake.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “You don’t remember anything at all? Those little visions didn’t help you figure out that they’re fucked in the head? Vampirism doesn’t only force you to suck the blood out of humans forever, y/n. It does some crazy shit to you. Makes you believe things that aren’t true. They don't love you, never will.”

He leans against the wall. "You say you're not Rose but you are just as stubborn, just as oblivious. Though she did take the easy way out while you seem to be hanging on a bit longer," His head tilts as he loses himself in thought. "You said you were leaving, where are you going?"

"Home."

His brows furrow. "Home? You’ve decided to endanger your family because you're afraid of solving your own problems? Taking that great of a risk is not wise. They want you, and they will do anything for it. Your family will only end up being pawns. Though I am sure they know where they live, entering your family’s home is a death sentence."

"Then what can I do? They're all I have; none of my friends respond to my calls or texts, my apartment is flooded, I have nothing. All I have left is them, and I can't stay there," You can feel the tears threatening to fall. "Your brother poisoned me, you know that? He wanted me to be like them so desperately he fucking poisoned the peaches I ate."

A surprised laugh punctuates his sentence, shaking his head. "A bit of a shock, no? That kid loves human warmth more than anything. Thought he'd let you live longer than that. Must have ruffled his feathers in some way," he tsks. "Too late now, I suppose."

"Why did you pretend to be Seonghwa?" You ask, ignoring his harsh words. "Why would you try to convince me to stay?"

He shrugs, "To make you believe that I was actually him. I was taking you with me either way. Just easier for you to think I was him so we could leave without catching unnecessary attention. Unfortunately plans changed when you noticed my body temperature," he sighs, rubbing his forearm. "Pity that Hongjoong couldn't duplicate it for the rest of them. You wouldn't have noticed then."

"Why would he turn you?"

"Believe it or not," he rocks on his heels. "Him and I were good friends before this all happened. For a while. Longer than he's known the clan he's with now. Not as close, no, but I was the experiment of his. The first person he turned," his sigh is exaggerated, prolonged. "The person who made him into this didn't exactly like that. Made it so no one else could be as we are. He probably hates my existence now, but there's little he can do about it. Him and I are nearly the same age, give or take a few years. But that matters so little, so I digress."

There's something bothering you about his words. The possibility of him being the first turned is fine, sure. But it wouldn't make sense if he's Wooyoung's brother. He watches you as you think it through, head spinning. The way Wooyoung crumbled to the ground when he saw him, they must be related in some way. Devastation like that is hard to fake.

"Wooyoung and I are not blood brothers," he interrupts your thoughts, answering the lingering question. "He believes it because his captain convinced him. The reasoning is beyond my own knowledge, but I followed everything he said back then. Not as much now, since his influence no longer works on me. I've learned to ignore those deep whispers in my mind," he taps his temple. "Unfortunately, Wooyoung will never know. But lies fall from his lips anyway so he shouldn't be that disappointed."

"I saw how he looked at you, Sejun. He cares for you deeply, cared. He thought you were dead. He’d be broken if he found out the truth." The way his hold trembled against yours in that shop, the drop to the floor due to the onslaught of emotions. "You speak of him like he's an inconvenience."

"That he is," he shrugs. "You were my goal in the end, nothing more. His attachment to a man that died hundreds of years ago is none of my concern."

"Why me?"

This time he stares, eyes flicking over your body. It chills you the way his stare hardens, swallowing slowly. "When Rose was alive I made mistakes. It's nothing I can fix nor apologize for because she's dead. And before your thoughts stray, I am not obsessed with you like the others. I acknowledge that you are different. It is just that, the thought of there being another Rose was impossible in my mind. No, in fact, it was never a thought of mine. Once she died, the horror was over. All of us would be able to live our separate lives without ever meeting again. Subin made the choice of keeping an eye on them, which was a mistake, but in a way, a good thing. Neither of us would have found out about you.

"Hongjoong has always had this obsession with things that were out of his reach. The past is irrelevant now, but much of it can explain why he is the way he is now. To put it simply: He has been in love with every iteration of you. And every time he gets close, he loses you. Rose, her mother, her grandmother. I thought the line would have ended since Rose was unable to have children. Unfortunately her soul still lives on," His nose wrinkles. "Thousands of years have only made the obsession fester rather than dissipate. Your appearance resembling Rose has only amplified his delusions. None of this is your fault, y/n. If it were possible to change your face, your soul, it would have been done already. I owe that much to your prior life,” his eyes flick over you, pained. “Saying sorry to you means nothing because you’re not her, but I am. I am deeply apologetic.”

You take in his words, eyes glued to the floor. Rose had a hard life from the glimpses you’ve witnessed. She struggled every waking moment, moreso when she met this clan. You’re not sure what happened between her and Sejun, but from the way he speaks they were involved somehow. Romantically more than likely; from what you’ve seen, Rose enjoyed her extracurricular activities. And Sejun is far from ugly. You suck in a breath, thinking. Is there any way to convince him to let you go? It may be unlikely since he infiltrated their home just to get you. So why, what is the reason?

“What are you planning on doing with me, then?”

He swallows slowly. “I owe Subin. To put it simply: I fucked up back then and ruined everything. I never got the chance to apologize to him, so I told him I’ll do him a favor. He wanted you, so I agreed. It would have been farther down the line, but Hanse is dead now. He only has a few left in his clan and he doesn’t want to risk any of them. So he asked me to get you. I’m supposed to bring you to him right now actually, but I wanted to speak to you alone. Hopefully get a look into that head of yours, and see what you’re thinking. So far there’s nothing interesting.”

“An insult, how kind of you,” you frown. He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head.

“I can see why it’s hard for them to tell the difference. You’re more alike than you think.”

“The restraints then?” you gesture to them. “Do you expect me to run? I wouldn’t get far, anyway.”

“You still tugged on them a bit. And it’s easier to speak to you without having to chase you around this room," he slides down the wall, sitting. "Maybe try to change your mind about going back to them after this all blows over."

"... I'm not going back."

He chuckles dryly, "Right. Just like the sun isn't going to rise tomorrow. Listen, Subin is going to attempt to kill you."

"What the fuck?" You pull harshly on the chains. "And you expect me to just agree?"

"Who the hell would agree to that?" He scoffs. "No, I'm warning you before we get there. Just because I owe him a favor doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk in there blind. Rose back then wanted him to kill her if she was close to turning, and he agreed to it. In his mind he believes the promise is still valid despite you two being different people. Tell him no, and agree to his plan that he suggests otherwise. We will move from there."

"We, there's still a we in this? How can I believe anything you're saying?"

He stands, moving closer to you. He tugs lightly, chains immediately falling apart in his grip. "There's no reason for you to. You shouldn't believe any of us in all honesty. All of us have our agendas. Mine just happens to line up with yours. I don't want you to die. Not like this. Not again. Suffering in another life because of all of us. It's hard to believe I know that, but what options do you have? Subin, the kid that wants to bury you? Your newly adopted clan that's willing to turn you into one of them without your permission? Again? Rough choices."

You rub your wrist as you look up at him. He crouches and pulls off the restraints around your ankles. There are choices. You can run, eventually get caught by one of them. Try to kill them, though you are very aware of how that ended for Rose. And you have less than half of the confidence and strife she had back then. You couldn't even watch the man who poisoned you suffer, unlikely you'd be able to hurt any of them yourself. Running home. Risking your family– No. You look at Sejun. You cannot trust him, but what else can you do? What other choice do you have?

"I don't trust you."

"I know."

"All of this, in the end, will I be free?"

He stares at you. "Honestly? Probably not. I might die before we get to the end. Actually, I'm pretty sure I will when Hongjoong finds me," he rubs the back of his neck. "But I'm not afraid of death. It's been long enough. I'll try my best to lend you my knowledge before I go. I'll leave the rest to you."

There's something else.

"Sejun," you start, slowly standing. "What were you to Rose?"

He grins, "An asshole ex, y/n."

“Did you…?” You don’t say the words.

“I had a temper back then. I hurt her accidentally plenty of times, yes. But after the first time, is it really an accident?” He keeps his gaze to the floor. “I hurt her even if I thought I didn’t mean it. I did it. Just another part of her suffering back then. I’d do anything to change back time, somehow remove myself from Hongjoong, from her life. I deserve to suffer twice as long as she has. I can help you now.”

-

"We have to get her."

"No," Hongjoong adjusts his coat, frowning as he pulls off a dust ball. "She made her choice. She wants us gone, she wants to leave, then let her. No more rescue missions, no more devoting our hours to her. Let her go."

Seonghwa narrows his eyes, "You have to understand that I do not believe a word falling from your lips."

Hongjoong snickers, shrugging. "Then that is so. Either way, it is unwise for any of you to go running after her. It is for her own good. She refused to trust us and our words, so she will suffer the consequences. She will see what it means to have us removed from her life."

Yeosang steps closer, "He may hurt her–"

"A few bruises never hurt anyone," he points out. "You know that well."

His hands slowly form into fists as he glares at him. Hongjoong notes this, tilting his head as he stares at his friend. "What will you do, hm? Go against my words? You know you don't have to follow them. You can run after her if you'd like. She would probably want to see you the most. As she always has."

"You will not stop us?" Yunho's brows furrow, arms crossed against his chest. "That is unlike you."

"Because I know you will see how unsuccessful the venture will be. He will not go down without a fight. He will kill every single one of you because he is nearly as strong as I. Have you forgotten? He has the privilege, he is older than you all. Human blood still runs through his veins. The only one who stands a chance is myself, and I want to teach her a lesson. So go if you like, lose your lives so that I am the only one remaining. I am sure she would enjoy it."

The others say nothing. Jongho is the first to break the silence.

"Then what will we do?"

His wild, cheshire grin stuns them. "We go to our show. We perform, and we feed. I will tell you the next step then."

-

“Pull yourself together.”

San watches as Yeosang paces back and forth, fists clenching and unclenching. He has rarely ever seen him filled with this much fury, thoughts seemingly scattered as he ignores every word San attempts to tell him. San tried to stop his pacing but was met with such angst that he moved out of the way, letting him continue. Yeosang runs his fingers through his hair, breaths heavy as he controls his breathing.

“It’s been days. Subin will kill her,” he starts, looking at San. “There is no doubt in it. y/n will die.”

“We aren’t certain of it—”

“He’s spoken about it for centuries, San. Centuries. A day with her isn’t going to change his mind and we both know it. She’s going to die,” Yeosang holds himself up against the wall, unable to handle the onslaught of emotions cascading from him. He’s forced himself to not feel for all this time, to push back the thoughts that caged him inside of this body, made him ill for an unknown amount of time. But how can he stand here and listen to Hongjoong? He finally has you, and he’s already lost you once more. “If she dies–”

“You will not perish along with her,” Wooyoung enters the room, shooting San a look. “Control yourself Yeosang, I thought you were over this.”

He shakes his head, gaze lifting from the floor to look at his friend. “Do not stand there and pretend all of this isn’t your fault. You poisoned her and you made me lie. You influenced my hand without my permission. When you explicitly told me you’d never use your hold against me again, you did. And now we’ve lost her.”

“I poisoned her for everyone’s sake. She would have been ours. Right, Sannie?” Wooyoung looks at his closest friend, “Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?”

San swallows softly, looking between his two friends. It’s been like this ever since Wooyoung turned Yeosang. A push and pull between the three of them, a longing in Wooyoung’s eyes as he desperately wanted Yeosang to accept him as he is, followed by refutation every single time. Growing closer with San because of it, the relationship between the trio strained. He rubs his face, thinking.

“I want her, yes,” he says simply, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with either of them. He’s learned that it is best to toe the line, never choosing a side. “But it is likely we might not ever see her again if we continue down this path.” Not until now, of course.

Wooyoung’s bright smile wavers, brows furrowing. “I don’t understand.”

“If you don’t understand his words then you never will, Woo,” Yeosang says softly. “All he has ever done is try to nurture you, to accept you as you are now, mourn who you once were. We all have at some point. But it is hard when your mind is so diluted with need for her that you cannot think properly. How many times must we go through this to try and make you see that what you’re doing is not okay?”

“I’ve been this way long enough for you to get used to it,” he sucks his teeth. “And don’t place all the blame on me. It wasn’t my idea to flood her apartment. I wasn’t the one who killed her friend. We all have a role in this. I’m sorry if you loved the pathetic man I was before, he’s been gone for hundreds of years now.”

“You call him pathetic,” Yeosang whispers. “But I called him my best friend.”

Wooyoung steps closer to him, crouching down to meet his gaze. “Called, you say? Am I no longer that? Do you no longer consider me your best friend?”

He says nothing then, the tension thickening in the room. Wooyoung takes several steps toward him, San standing in the way. He merely laughs at his friend, pushing him aside. He stands just before Yeosang, a small smirk forming on his lips.

“Do you consider me your best friend, Kang Yeosang?”

Yeosang swallows. Though he does not say it, Wooyoung can see the twitch of his lip, the slight shake of his head. It is enough to push him to the edge. His eyes darkened, red slowly fading.

“You will listen to my words now and follow them,” his fingers dig into Yeosang’s shoulder as he stares down at him. “Every word that I tell y/n you will agree is true. You will convince her that I am not as bad as she may think, and you will do it diligently. If she does not believe you after days of trying…” Wooyoung trails off, eyes glazed over. “If she does not believe you, you will leave this home. And you will not remember me being the one to tell you this."

“Wooyoung—” Yeosang’s eyes widen, trying to remove himself from his grip.

“Enough.”

They all turn to the new arrival, Yunho leaning against the door frame. He frowns at them all, lingering on Yeosang’s crouched body, Wooyoung’s grip. Said man lets him go, though there is a sly smile on his lips. “Hongjoong found out where she is.”

-

“Do we go against his word?”

“Is there any other way? We’ve followed along with him for centuries with little protest. Of course, there will come a time when we do not. And that time is now,” Yunho stretches his hands through the sweater, adjusting it in the mirror. “We do this on our own.”

“Hongjoong said we’d be killed.”

“And you believe him?”

 Wooyoung purses his lips, eyes shifting to Seonghwa in the corner of the room. “There was never a reason for me not to."

“A lot of things you don’t know about, Wooyoung,” Yunho tosses Seonghwa his bag, scoffing at how the man dodges it, letting it fall to the floor. “He isn’t coming with us so there’s no need to worry about him.”

“He’ll tell captain.”

“Probably,” Yunho shrugs, throwing a bag over his shoulder. “Hongjoong could stop us if he wants to. Doubt it though.”

“Why?”

Yunho sighs, turning back to him. “When were you ever one to ask so many questions? You usually follow.”

“It’s…” Wooyoung’s eyes shift to Yeosang, noticing how the man is curled on the floor, eyes shut. There’s little he can do to persuade him to come unless he forces him to, but he’s dealt with those consequences already. Doing it again will only feed his benefit, and no one else’s. Wooyoung sighs, buttoning up the leather jacket he does not need, shifting his eyes to San in the far corner. He leans against the wall, watching the two of them. “How long will it take to get there?”

“Not long,” Yunho shrugs. “They brought her to our club.”

This catches the attention of the others in the room, Seonghwa’s eyes widening at the news. Yeosang still does not move from his spot, even as San nudges his body. A knock on the door interrupts them, Hongjoong standing there silently.

“Ready?”

They tense, only causing him to roll his eyes. “I wouldn’t go alone. There will be others to handle there other than Subin,” he glances at Wooyoung. “I’m going to kill him for good this time. You know that right?” He does not utter the name, but he sees how his body shifts at the thought. “Having him linger around is not wise, Woo. Especially around y/n.”

“I know,” he closes his eyes briefly. “I know that.”

“Then I need your word you will not interfere when I do so.”

He sucks in a breath, nodding. “You have it."

Hongjoong chuckles dryly. “Great. You’re staying here with Yeosang.”

“Captain—”

“Ah,” he holds up his hand, stopping his incoming rant. “No need to protest because I will continue to stand here and deny your requests until I am blue in the face. No. You’re not coming, and you’re staying with the man you’ve manipulated for months on end. These are only the consequences of your own actions, Wooyoung," he leans against the doorway, arms crossed. "Did you believe I would let you off the hook just because she favors you? I have not forgotten what you were doing. If she were not there, you would no longer be on this Earth.” He tilts his head, thinking. “I could persuade her that you are a danger and truly remove you from our sights, but that would be unfair to the others. In their minds, some part of the old Wooyoung exists beneath the one we see today. But I’ve spoken too much. Yunho, San, let’s go.”

Hongjoong does not bother to acknowledge Seonghwa sitting on the opposing side of the room, exiting without another word. San nods at the others, following behind Yunho and his captain. He shuts the door behind him, leaving the three alone.

-

Freedom only seems to mock you as you gaze upon it only a few steps away, lit by the fire encased inside lanterns adorning the hallways. It is of no fault of your own that you missed how eerie it truly is inside of their club; consumed by loud music and screaming concert-goers. Still you can’t help but scoff at the blatantly obvious red flags only steps away from the door. Perhaps everyone else was too intoxicated to notice the strange markings on the walls, the endless hallways. All of it brings strange feelings within you, auras of discomfort. Spending time here without the crowds of people makes it seem all the more odd. If it weren’t for Sejun pulling you into the back room, you would have left without a second thought given.

 “Their allurement is what makes this place lively. Without them it only feels like a creepy box,” he says, matching your thoughts entirely. “They never needed to clean up this place; blood stains the floors and walls. Disgusting if we truly think about it, though Seonghwa himself tries his best to make it look at least presentable. Now he doesn’t have much time to do so since he spends his days with you.”

If there was a semblance of jealousy in his words you cannot find it. He drops your wrist, shutting the stage door behind him as he paces back and forth. He seems unsettled, and you don’t speak up to make him even more so. His eyes flick to you, narrowing when they meet. “Subin told me he’d be here.”

“And I was not lying about it, friend,” his voice appears just behind you, goosebumps covering your skin. You turn around, meeting the deep, tired eyes of Rose’s brother. He nods at you, glancing around to look at Sejun. “Did they follow you?”

“They’re too preoccupied in their own snags to pay attention to their surroundings. Though I’m fairly certain Jongho has figured it out by now, he seems attune to her scent the most.”

“Our time is limited, then,” Subin sighs, focusing back on you. He takes a step forward only for you to mirror him. He tilts his head back in exasperation. “They will come for you soon y/n, it’s best to end this now.”

“End what exactly? I’ve spoken to you twice in the past few months, and we never discussed anything ‘ending’. Be more specific.”

A smile rests on his face, “Never-ending in your quick wit even after hundreds of years passed.” He rests against the familiar seat, one you sat in when you first met them all; the beginning of your descent into their hands. If you knew then, you would have never accepted your friend’s invitation to the performance. Things would be different. He seems to know it as well, fingers brushing against the leather cushions.

"When you were my sister, you spoke to me about ending your life if you were ever in danger of being turned into one of them. Us, rather. Back then I was too involved with the captain to take your words to heart, but by the time I realized you were in peril I was too late. You’ve already died. I mourned for you, for the loss of ever knowing you, and I thought that was done. I accepted your fate. But seeing you now, after Hanse told me of your presence in the club, it felt like almost a favor. I have always been quite a religious man, so it must have been an act of God. He’s given me another opportunity to save you. Who would I be if I didn’t take it?”

Oh, they are all misguided, aren’t they? Sejun does not seem to believe his words either, rolling his eyes as Subin speaks.

“You believe that I would want you to kill me now?” You furrow your brows. “You do understand that we are not the same people?”

“Outer appearance does not matter, though you look eerily alike,” he notes, “It was a promise I plan to keep, y/n. There’s no reason for me to break it now.”

“Well I do have one.” You have several, in fact. “I am not her, so the promise does not hold true. And I do believe you have bigger problems. You have no more places to feed, Subin. That’s something you should be worried about.” And forget about you completely, hopefully. "Continuing to follow me around when I'm with them is not a good idea."

"You wish to be with men that would kill anyone who speaks to you?" His brows furrow. "You're worried for me because you know they'll kill me if given the chance. That's who you desire to be with? Are you sure of your choice?"

"Hongjoong said he wouldn't–" you stop in the middle of your diatribe, remembering the switch of tone, the evil lurking in his gaze when he proclaimed that he'd kill Subin. "I'm leaving them so you don't need to worry anymore. Just leave me alone, come up with a compromise that doesn't lead to your death. Rose and I both will be happy if you stay alive." As alive as a vampire can be. But you digress.

"Rose hated me," Subin frowns. "When I became like this she hated it. She would have killed me if she saw me alive today, not let me live. That is the difference between the two of you. Rose hated vampires, hated the bloodshed, hated being one. You do not hate it. They will take advantage of that. They already have. You were being poisoned by Wooyoung and you saved him. Do you realize how tightly they've dug themselves into your life? You saved the monster that was slowly killing you. You didn't run out of fear, leave immediately. You saved him. How can you not see?"

Sejun scoffs from his corner, shaking his head. "Fucking hell."

There’s no use in questioning how he knows, all of these vampires seem to know things you’ve never uttered. "I'm already gone, I can go somewhere. Maybe abroad, I don't know," you stumble over your words, knowing it's of no use. They will find you anywhere. Your time apart will be brief, until you see them stumbling into somewhere you've escaped to. So you say the only thing you can think of.

"I don't want to die, Subin. I've barely lived."

Subin’s brows furrow, eyes filled with sorrow. "Is that what you desire? Do you truly want to live the rest of your life in fear of them? Unable to run away?"

No. That's not what you want. "I want to live as I did before and I know it's not possible anymore. But do I have no other choice than death? There's nothing else I can do?"

"There are few things in this world that make Hongjoong weak. Though most he would never admit to."

"Care to share?"

"That makeshift family of is," he waves his hand, nose wrinkled. "He will never say the words himself, but they are the remainder of humanity he has left. I am sure he has told both you and Rose, but he wasn't this… caring when it came to humans. Not until he met those seven. Especially Wooyoung. He is quite fond of Sejun’s brother even if he would kill him in just a brief moment," he furrows his brows in thought. "I am sure it will haunt him until the end of his days."

You can't imagine hurting any of them. Their past is something that often buries itself in the back of your mind, but never irks you. Killing them to get back at Hongjoong will never be a choice of yours. Even Wooyoung, the man who slowly poisoned you. It is all stupid and ridiculous when you think deeply about it. But so is love, unfortunately.

"And you, y/n," he says. "You are his weakness. He will kill every single person on this planet so that you're content. I would advise to never divulge what your past partners have done, or old friends. They would end up in the back of the papers soon enough. Now that I think of it though, you can use that to your advantage. He is infatuated with you. Make him believe you love him the same, then kill him."

"Kill him?" Rose back then would have done it without a second thought. But you? You step on a small beetle by accident and it ruins your week. Making Hongjoong fall for your lies then killing him… it's unimaginable. "That's the only choice I have?"

"y/n, listen to my words carefully." He bends his knees, balancing on the edges of his feet as he meets your eyes. "Hongjoong will not stop until he gets what he wants. He has waited hundreds of years to have you. He is smart – he will be able to read the lies you feed him."

Subin’s eyes flick behind you, before meeting your gaze again. "Every creature can be killed. Even abominations like us. That you know from Hanse's death. If you would like, I can tell you our weaknesses. I couldn't save you back then, I was too late. But if you would let me, I can save you now. I can show you how to, to finish the plan that Rose couldn't complete herself."

Kill them?

The thought pains you. It's the last thing you want. But seeing how tortured they are, how easily they could switch their personalities, how they more than likely forced Rose to become a vampire, how Wooyoung attempted the same for you.

You have no choice.

You glance back at Sejun, his snickers and jabs silent now, wanting for your response. You turn back to Subin, Rose's brother. His expression doesn't give away anything, patiently waiting for you to decide. You close your eyes, ignore how much your chest hurts at even considering it. Pushing through your heart's desire, you nod slowly.

"Okay."

-

Hongjoong is the first to enter, hands resting against his back. His shoes echo across the hardwood. Though he cannot quite decipher who is in the room with you, he can smell you. And that scent overpowers them all. Yunho and San follow just behind him, blades in hand, coated with poison. Subin has kept to himself for decades now, barely interfering with the others. Your presence has brought them happiness, but has led to this. Not that any of them mind, really. If it meant that they would have you, they’d do anything for it.

-

“They’re here,” Sejun stands, moving closer to you. “We don’t have time. Remember what we’ve told you?” He asks, fingers wrapping around your bicep. “We are going to die, and you will do everything possible to stop them. Do you understand?”

“They wouldn’t–”

“They would, my dear sister,” Subin says simply, eyes flicking to the door. “I’m quite sad that we were not given the chance to catch up once again, but I do hope if there is some afterlife, I can meet Rose.” His jaw tightens, hands slipping behind his back. “Promise you will rid of them soon.”

You hesitantly nod, and he gives you a small grin back. “Of course, I will have to show them a bit of blood to get them going. It will be quick, y/n. They'll heal you, alright?"

"What–"

Your sentence is cut off by the sharp blade pushed into your stomach. Sejun’s eyes widen as Subin slowly slides it out of you, the pain too overwhelming for you to even utter a sound, falling to your knees. Your hands immediately go to the cut, gasps falling from your lips as you turn down to look at it. He pushed it in deep, the blood spilling down your shirt quickly, staining the hardwood floors. He throws his arm back too quick for you to prepare, his fist landing against your cheek.

Sejun’s eyes burn into Subin’s. “You idiot–”

The door is thrown open, Sejun backing away from the two of you as they enter. You can't quite concentrate on what's happening, the sounds of murder happening around you. Shouting and screaming, bones breaking, the smell of blood filling the air. Sejun is thrown down next to you. Several cuts covering his skin, brown blood spilling from his wounds. He coughs, grabbing one of your hands. Forcing you to focus on his words.

"Kill them," his grip on your hand is tight. You can barely see his eyes through the blood covering his face, his hold growing weaker as the seconds pass. "Kill them and you'll finally be free."

Blood splatters in your eyes, covering your face just as he finishes his words. Hongjoong from just behind you drives the stick deeper into his chest, grunting the more force he puts into it.

Your vision blurs as you stare at the blackened blood dripping down your hand, disappearing beneath your sleeve. This was never something that you wanted, despite it being in their plan. Sejun was not supposed to die. You do not doubt that he's done things to Rose in the past, things lost to you. But he's helped since you've spoken to him. It's silly to be upset about his death, but here you are. Staring down at his bloodied body, fingers slowly curling into your palm, hands trembling. Your eyes lift to the murderer, eyes wide as he stares at the body beneath him. He touches his face, smearing his skin with whatever poison he used. The exact one Subin provided for you just moments ago.

"Joong…"

He turns around, expression softening when he sees how distraught you look. His warm fingers brush against your cheek. You wince at the touch as he apologizes for pressing too hard against your skin. His lips press against your forehead, a sorry escaping them. You welcome his touch, sighing as he pulls you against him. His smell encompasses you, your sore wrists aching as you grip his leather coat. He lifts you with ease, your lids too swollen for you to open them. Is it tears? You're not too sure.

The room is quiet. No longer do you hear the crunching of limbs, the muffled screams as they ripped Sejun apart. No. All you can hear is the way your heartbeat throbs in your ear, the breaths of Hongjoong as he guides you out of the room. How foolish of you to believe that you did not need him? That you were so stubborn to see that without him, you would be safe? In the end you're still entrapped in his embrace, softened at the delicate care he does to bring you safely back to his clan, his coven. Your thoughts no longer linger on Sejun, or her brother, or any of the others, in fact.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, the sensitive cuts on your lips tingling as heavy breaths escape. "I should have trusted you." Why are you saying this? Why do the words not feel like your own?

"None of this is your fault," he whispers. "Trusting someone is a difficult task to undertake. Please do not speak anymore until you're able, alright?"

You cough, blood spilling from your lips. His eyes shift to your stomach. Without another word he drags his blade across his arm, lifting your shirt and pressing it against your cut. You gasp, gripping his forearm as he pushes it harshly. He whispers something you don’t bother to understand, holding you close.

The part of you that screamed for you to push him away is silent now. You can only tuck yourself further against him, feel the vibrations of his chest as he hums a song to you. You cannot quite place it, but it feels familiar. He does not begin conversation with you, asking how this happened. Instead he carries you out into the night, holding you close as he enters a car. You hear the soft voice of San speaking to him, their voices low enough that you do not bother straining to listen.

The scene you blocked out suddenly begins to replay in your head. Yunho appeared. You see the glimpse of Seungwoo behind your eyes over and over– when did he arrive? The terrible, garbled scream that left her brother– Subin’s, chest. The sickening sounds of him dying. Did Rose hear this often? How was she able to handle it; the carnage, the smell, the sounds? They only seem to roll on a tape over and over again in your mind.

"What can I do?"

You know he's speaking to you, lips dry as you run your tongue over the cracks, the metal taste coating your tongue. "Nothing." Time passing is only making your head spin. Where's Hongjoong? When did the car start moving? Will you ever see your family again?

"...Okay," San says simply. Hongjoong must have left some time ago, the hum of the car is the only sound around you. "I can't lose you again." His voice is softer. You force an eye open. His fingers are curled around the steering wheel, body rigid. His eyes flick to the rearview often, fingers fidgeting. You're not too sure what your relationship with him is – he's avoided you for weeks now. Now though, you can see how he thinks he cares for you, worry coating his face. His shirt is stained just like the others. Did he kill? Was it Seungwoo? Sejun? Subin? It's all a blur to you now.

How could you pretend to care for any of them when you want to run away? "You will," you respond, lids heavy. "You have already."

"Is there nothing I can do–"

"Yes, there's nothing." Why lie? Why continue the lies that they've started? There is not a moment where you could look at any of them and feel some sort of happiness. "You've lied."

"Rose."

"And you've never called me by my name despite me desperately asking for it, San. You've treated me like the woman you've once loved since we met, and you expect me to love you back? You don't see me." Your throat hurts as you speak to him, but you've wanted to let it out. Show him how it feels to be treated like her. "Let's no longer pretend that you do."

He does not respond. You tuck your legs further into your body. You told him you wouldn't lie, but why does it feel like you are? Why the fuck do you care so much about these men that could give two shits about you? To the point that they're slowly carving you into Rose, a woman that despised their very being? And why are you so desperate for them to see you as yourself, as a human woman completely disconnected from your prior life? Have you so deeply involved yourself that you need their love, their affection? Is that why you've fallen for many of them so easily?

How the hell did that wound on your stomach heal so fast?

"I'm sorry, y/n."

-

What you find behind San's door shouldn't be as surprising as it is. His bed is in pieces, wooden beams scattered across the floors, sheets ripped into throwaway fabrics, pillow feathers floating around the room. Most furniture is destroyed. You take slow steps into the room, hand resting on the edge of the only intact piece: his desk. Fear slowly swallows you as you read the notes you see. Your name is written over and over. Neat in the beginning, slowly losing legibility as it goes on. By the end of the page the characters are mixed together, blood staining the page, paper punctured from how hard he pressed. One line is written clearly at the top of the page.

I will say your name, y/n.

It's been a couple of days since you've gotten back from your kidnapping, from that massacre in the backrooms of Clair de Lune. The smell of death still hasn't left your nose. It's the first time you've left your room, the men leaving your food outside of it, avoiding you in the hallways if you decided to leave. You would thank them under different circumstances, but now you know it's only because they don't want you to ever leave them.

Which bears the question on exactly why you haven't left yet. The blatant warnings are there. Wooyoung was legitimately poisoning you slowly. Many of the others must have known about it. So why are you still here? Why can't you make yourself leave?

Why does it feel like you can't?

"Are you alright?"

You glance at the door, Mingi and Seonghwa standing there. Mingi's arms rest against his chest, a slight limp as he enters. He still has not fully healed from the basement incident, though he looks healthier in complexion. Especially in comparison to you.

"He left," Mingi glances at Seonghwa, eyes flicking back to yours. "For a walk."

"Did the captain tell him to?" You ask, and Mingi shakes his head.

"He left on his own. As you can see," Mingi gestures to the surrounding area. "He's been a bit distraught since you've come back home. He thought leaving would help his mind settle. Mellow out for a while. Yeosang joined him."

"Yeosang?" Is that why you haven't seen him? You presumed that he was avoiding you, but it seems to be the opposite. Yeosang is the only one you could tolerate being around without getting upset, and now he's gone.

"He deals with San during these moments the best. Everyone agreed that he should join him to keep him in check. They shouldn't be gone for too long, so no need to worry."

Worrying is all that you do; especially for them.

But you only acknowledge his words with a quick nod, hands lingering on the edge of the desk. You have not seen Hongjoong either, though it is probably due to your insistence on not allowing him to enter your room. The others begged and pleaded for you to give him a chance – but how could you? His half promises and lack of care for your well-being has left you numb. Before meeting them, you were sure with your emotions, your feelings. Now you only feel like a shell of yourself. You rub your face, ignoring the two men watching as you go through your emotions.

“What will we do now, then?” your eyes shift to the side, noticing that Mingi left already. Strange how quiet a man of his size can be.

Seonghwa slowly moves into the room, arms resting against his chest. “Shall we have a meeting when they come back? I know that you still want to leave, so we can speak about it—”

“Seonghwa,” You lean against the table, wincing as your hip brushes against the wood. His eyebrows furrow as he glances at your hip, only for you to wave him off. “We’ve done enough talking to last a thousand lifetimes.” With how effortlessly Sejun manipulated you into thinking he was truly Seonghwa, there’s little doubt that one of the guys wouldn’t be able to persuade you to stay. Especially with the way he’s looking at you now. No wonder Rose fell for them with ease. It hurts you to even say the words.

“I’m sorry,” his voice is softer, eyes glued to the wooden floors. “I wasn’t here when he took you away. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” you shake your head. “I should have noticed it wasn’t you from the start. The words you were saying were a bit…” Cheesy? Out of character? Overwhelming for the moment? Now that you think back to Sejun practically begging on his knees, his eyes were not his. They were a deeper brown. Seonghwa rarely, if ever, showed his brown eyes to you. Only in public, never in private. The truth was right in front of you, but you were too overcome with the events that passed to even recognize it.

“Did he speak poetry?” Seonghwa’s lip lifts, a smirk forming. “Sejun used to make fun of me often for my verbiage. I think he referred to it as having a stick up my ass.” You place your hand over your mouth, a laugh escaping. Seonghwa’s grin widens, light chuckles leaving his lips. “And now you laugh because you find it to be true.”

“It’s not… well, you do speak a bit proper sometimes. I just assumed it was because of your past. From a prestigious family?”

His eyes widen briefly, lips finally curving into a full smile. “Rose assumed the same of me when we first met. Maybe I do need to loosen my lips a bit more,” he sighs. “But nevertheless, I am apologetic."

He easily slides past the question about his family, but you let him have it. It’s not like you exactly overshare when it comes to yours. A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts, Hongjoong lingering in the doorway. Seonghwa moves to the side, sending you a quick look before departing. Hongjoong remains unchanged from the night they found you. Your blood still stains his clothing, hair tousled, eyes red. He looks like he’s worse off in comparison to you. Just as Hongjoong begins to speak, you interrupt.

“Thank you.”

Your words stun him momentarily, raised hand falling to his side. You could almost smile at his shocked expression if you weren’t so exhausted. You hold your hand against the bandage covering your stomach. It’s barely scabbed over, blood still coating the gauze.

 “Thank you for saving me,” you say again. “It’s more than what I’ve asked for but thank you. I’m not sure if I would have survived another day.” It’s very likely that you would have, especially with Sejun there. But stroking his ego might somewhat increase your chances to come out of this place alive. Vampirism isn’t something you exactly dreamed of undergoing.

“You’re not furious with me?” He asks his question slowly, eyes glued to your face. “Not in the slightest?”

“Why would I be angry at you for what Sejun and Subin did?” At least this part is somewhat true.

He swallows slowly, eyes flicking between yours. Just as a sigh of relief escapes your lips as he turns on his heels to the door, he shuts it behind him. "Did Sejun ever explain the reasoning as to why we separated?"

You shake your head, slowly sinking down into the stool in front of San's dresser. His face changes as he simmers in his thoughts.

"Sejun was supposed to watch her," Hongjoong's words almost feel desperate as he speaks to you, pacing around the ottoman. He stops in front of the bed, running his fingers through his hair, thinking. He seems to steady himself as he wraps his hand around one of the bed's pillars. "Rose. It was supposed to be brief but our ship needed maintenance so we stayed away a few months longer. That's when he wooed her, made her fall in love. It was my fault. When he arrived back on ship he told me all of his tales were false. I thought it was to get close to her brother. But when Rose appeared in front of me and told me of his sins, I could not take it," his grip on the pillars hardened, eyes narrowing. The concerned man he just showed you disappears in that instant. It only frightens you how easily he can turn his emotions. You sink further into the stool.

"I tore him from limb to limb, I let the others watch. I thought that was the end of it, no one could survive something like that, not even a vampire. His body was burned and thrown into the sea. So seeing him standing in that shop, none of it made any sense. It still doesn't. It is a pity that I was filled with so much rage I did not get the chance to ask."

He lets a sigh escape him, "And I allowed him into our home, allowed him to take you."

Your brows furrow. "No one knew he took me–"

He holds up his hand, "I knew. Do you think I do not know everything that goes on? Though I was mistaken and presumed he was himself, not disguised as Seonghwa to lure you. If any of us were there we would have seen through his shadow self. But it's harder for humans to."

The realization sinks into you slowly. You knew you were not safe with any of them, especially with him. But hearing him actually say it, express it–

“I allowed him to take you because you told us you did not need us. That you were okay on your own. And I wanted to honor your wishes so I let it happen. And you saved yourself, did you not? You allowed us to kill him with ease, Ro– y/n!" He smiles at you, true joy lining his features. "You saved yourself without our help, we just cleaned the mess."

Your eyes flick between his. "You let him take me. He brought me to Subin who almost killed me, and you let him take me.”

"You said you did not need saving, my sea. I let you make your own choices."

"Being kidnapped is not a choice, Hongjoong! If it were any of you I would have tried to help, not watch you be taken. Do you hear yourself? Do you?" You straighten your back, anger slowly rising. "I know you're mad, but this is beyond what I expected."

He tsks, wiggling his index finger as he silences you. "No no, this is exactly what you should expect. You do not want us involved with your affairs. You want to leave. I'm not going to go against your word when you insist on it being followed."

“Oh my God,” you rub your face, “What am I doing here? Why did I let you take me back here? This isn’t like me, I’d never do anything like this,” You stop speaking, turning your eyes to him. He keeps his small smile on his face, watching your breakdown. Elated at the way he’s affecting you. Hongjoong does not care. He never has no matter how much he proclaims it. There’s no remorse, not a hint of regret. “You want me to depend on you when you let me go?”

“You wanted it.”

“Hongjoong.”

He moves closer to you, hands covering yours. You try to pull from his grip but it only tightens.

“You fucking wanted it, Cassia,” His eyes widen, a laugh escaping his lips. It seems like he’s detached from himself, words spilling from his lips. “You wanted me to go away so I let you. I let you fucking leave me, leave me alone. What am I to do? I was so desperate for you. Everyone in the village wanted you but you looked at me. You told me you needed space to grow, to breathe. You looked me in my eyes and said that you wanted to be with me forever but you needed time. So I let you go, I let you follow that asshole monk. How was I to know what was going to happen? How could I guess what he would do?”

He moves closer to you, not noticing how frozen you are. His hand slowly reaches up, cupping your cheek. “I killed him for you, I let his blood run the streets. I burned down the monastery for you. I gutted those terrible parents of yours, those friends that never loved you. The village that always made fun of you, called you a whore because they were envious of your beauty. And you cursed me, you damned me. Why would you do that? I did it all for you, for your adoration, for your love, and you pushed me away? You let me become as I am now. I love you, I’ve always loved you. I’m here now, can’t you see? I’m showing you that I will do anything for you, kill anyone for you. Do you not understand this?”

He moved away, pressing his hands on his temples, eyes widening, red streaks falling down his cheeks. He claws at his face, hysterical laughs escaping him. “I will kill him. I will kill them all for you. I let you love them before me and this is what I am repaid for? Your hatred as payment for loving you with everything that I have? We can be happy if you let us. If you see what I will do for you.”

His eyes flick to you, horror filling them when he sees how frightened you look, how you’ve pulled your legs close, arms wrapped around them. Flinching when he meets your gaze. He swallows, licking his lips as he stands. “I will, I’ll be back. One of the others can watch you while I’m gone, okay? Okay, C– my sea?”

He does not wait for your response, turning on his heel, the door swinging open. With his quick pace he does not seem to notice the others just outside the door, deep in his own thoughts as he disappears down the hallway. You blink quickly, still tense as a few of the others enter. A hand touches your shoulder and you flinch. You look up, meeting the gaze of worried San, a small smile on his lips.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

-

“Steady, hold it steady.”

Your fingers dig into his shoulders as you winch, staring at him slowly stitching up the wound. Somewhere in between your conversation with Hongjoong, the stitches broke open. Though you insisted on a hospital rather than an unsterile, small room, they heard none of it. Especially Yeosang, his soft eyes filled with fear when he saw you. He mustered up the best smile he could before leaving you alone. It’s unlike him to check up on your condition; he asked Wooyoung and Jongho plenty of times just outside the door when they thought you were asleep. Your mind moves to Hongjoong, immediately pushing the thought away just as it comes. Breaking that moment down in your mind will only lead to more madness. The one thing you cannot afford to fall into right now.

“Pretty?” San nudges you slightly, pulling you from your thoughts. Your look at him, noting the bruised lip, the dried slit in his brow. Yours furrow looking at him, swallowing slowly. They saved you again and all you have to show for it is anger, resistance. How much longer could you last pushing them away when all they’ve done is help you?

“You worry me,” he speaks again, slowly wrapping your torso with gauze. “That distant look you get. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Confessing that you don’t deserve their kindness is far from what you want. So you let your head rest against his shoulder, exhaling. “Sometimes I wish you were human.” You say simply, promptly regretting the words just as they leave your mouth.

You can feel him tense under your touch, hesitating in his wrapping briefly. “I like who I am now.”

“I know.”

“And if given the chance again, I wouldn’t change it. This is who, what, I want to be."

“I know, you don’t have to explain it to me. I just let lingering thoughts escape, that’s all.”

He sighs, “No no, I didn’t mean to sound angry, you don't need to apologize."

He rips off a piece of medical tape and lining it up with your bandages. “It’s all I’ve known, pretty. I cannot imagine myself being as I was before. I was scrawnier, smaller. More fearful of the world. My life before Hongjoong was not the greatest. My family was killed because I couldn’t protect them, because I was not strong enough to. But now that I can, I can be of assistance to all of you. It’s what I’ve always sought, and I can’t go back to being a human. I can’t be feeble again.” His eyes flick to yours, softening when they meet your eyes. “I love you too much to see you hurt, pretty. If there were something stronger for me to become, I would choose it without a second thought. I hope you won't try to convince me otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do something you don’t want to, San. Please understand that,” you squeeze his arm. “You’re in control of your life, not me. I can’t force you to abide by my whims. If you want to be like this, I’m not stopping you.”

“Not stopping me – does that mean you won’t accept it anyway?” His words are tight. “You will still leave?”

“If you were a human I’d leave anyway,” you whisper, not daring to meet his eyes. “I never belonged here. If any of us were to become something, I need space. I need a place to go where I can be alone. My room isn’t enough for me.” And run away, you think. You promised Subin you’d kill them, but how could you? Especially with the way he alone is looking at you. Your empathy is endless to the point that you hate it, but it’s not unreasonable to know you can’t hurt people.

A part of you wonders what Rose would do right now. How she’d react to your choices. Is she yelling in her grave right now, telling you that everything you’re doing is bringing you closer to death? Or is she assured that you’re safe in their arms, complimenting you on your choices thus far? There’s so many possibilities, and you’re still not sure what happened back then. All you know is someone in this house turned her into a vampire. And that’s very likely the reason why she wanted to kill them all. You felt her pain, her fear in the brief visions. The cold touch of death when she turned.

You never want to experience it yourself.

“I wish I could convince you otherwise,” he whispers, securing your gauze. “But I won’t make that mistake again. I just hope that you’ll miss us enough to come back home.”

“San-”

“You don’t need to explain why, because I know,” he waves you off, shaking his head. “I mean, I called you Rose for so long without thinking twice about it. Knowing how you felt about it. I didn’t let myself distinguish between the two of you because of my selfishness. I didn’t want to let her go. Accepting that Rose is gone,” he stops in his words. “I don’t think any of us have properly mourned her death. Maybe Yunho or Mingi, but not really. Not truly. The last person to visit her grave was Jongho, and that was decades ago. I’m sorry that I let it go on for so long, and I’m sorry I took your feelings for granted. I think it’ll be hard, but I hope that one day you’ll forgive me, y/n.” He says your name with emphasis, eyes flicking between yours. “Just as I love you.”

 -

"Do you love me?"

His voice cracks at the last word. It's the second time in a day that he's asked. You jokingly replied sure earlier, and he laughed it off. But now, his hands are gripping the bottom of your shirt. Looking up at you from your knees. Eyes flicking between yours, waiting for an answer.

You hear the sentence over and over again in your head. Do you love him? Do you love any of them? Or are you trying to become someone they once knew? Their rose, their sea. The one woman in their life that they lost. It irks you, not knowing if your feelings are true. Or their desperation makes you believe each word that they say. You want to say it, you do. You want him to be assured that you love him, to be secure in his feelings for you. But the word just doesn't want to fall from your lips. So instead of saying it, you hand brushes just beneath his chin. Stroking the soft skin beneath your fingertips.

You lean forward, lips lightly touching his. You hold restraint, but of course, he cannot. He presses his lips against yours, and you kiss him hard. Although his face is swollen with tears and lips are chapped from licking them often, he kisses you.

And you kiss him back.

"Love me," he says between breaths, pulling you down from the edge of the bed. His hands rest beneath your body as you fall to the floor, his body towering over yours, pulling you closer. "Love me," he whispers, fingers digging into your sides as he holds you.

"And what will that do?" You ask, your lips parting from his. Your breaths are heavy, chests rising and falling as you meet his gaze. "What if I say no?"

"I have waited for you for hundreds of years, pretty. I can handle a few more without it. Just please don't tell me to go. I will bear the pain of you not saying it back, but please do not let me go. Remaining unwanted is one thing, but never seeing you again would be the greatest torture I would endure in my endless years."

His words hit you directly in the heart. You hold his face, staring at him. “I cannot promise anything, San. The future is too uncertain for me to say that.”

"Would you say it if I beg?" San moves away from you, slowly sliding down your body. His lips trail along the outline of you before resting at your feet. You lean up, brows furrowed. His hands slowly wrap around your waist, gripping your hips.

"San–"

"Please," His fingers dig into your skin. Not enough to break it, but keeps you where you are. Eyes on him. "I'd do anything for you, y/n. Anything you want."

You rise from the sheets, head throbbing. It was a dream. Of course it was a dream, why would you think otherwise? You swing your legs over the side of the bed, slowly standing. Your side aches as you push open the door. It must be early in the morning, the light seeping through the curtains as you make your way down the hallway. Slow is an overstatement, you’re shuffling. San secured the gauze tight enough for you to sleep comfortably, but moving? Not so much.

The kitchen is empty. The pile of peaches that often greet you is gone, replaced with a sealed box of dried fruits. You ignore it entirely, slowly sinking into the stool at the island. You haven’t had glimpses of the past at all, not even for a brief moment. In the beginning you hated being put into someone else’s body, but now? You wish you could be given something, anything. An assurance that staying here for the moment is a wise idea, or completely terrible.

You lift up your shirt, glancing at the wrapping. It's stained with blood already. Ah, maybe you moved around in your sleep more than you thought.

A cough distracts you.

You turn, tensing.

"Hi–"

"Leave," you interrupt him, glancing at the box in the center of the island. "Please."

"y/n–"

"Please Wooyoung, please just leave me alone," your voice cracks, fear coursing through you. "If you want me on my knees I'll do it. Please," you shut your eyes, unable to meet his gaze. Because you know, despite it all, despite everything; One look from him will make you weak.

“What’s going on?” Your eyes flick to the entrance, Yunho glancing between the two of you. His eyes narrow as they meet Wooyoung’s, a frown slowly forming on his lips. “You were told to never be alone with her.”

“I needed to speak to her, that’s all. Nothing nefarious.” Wooyoung sighs, his exhale increasing as he watches Yunho come by your side. Confrontation when you’re this exhausted is not uncommon in this home, though you wish that they leave you alone just as the days prior. A part of you is thankful for Yunho’s presence despite it all; if Wooyoung was so easily able to end his friend’s life hundreds of years ago, ending yours right now would be a piece of cake. “Will you never acknowledge any of us? Or are you only enamored by Yeosang just as you were before? Or have you even attempted to?” Mire coats his word, an unmistakable glare in his eyes once you finally meet them.

You snort, slowly standing from the stool. It’s a bit of a struggle, Yunho leaning forward to help, but you push his hands away, gripping the countertop.

“You all assume that every thought of mine is Yeosang. Like all I’ve cared about since I arrived here is Yeosang when it hasn’t been like that at all. I was afraid of him just as I was of all of you. Your assumptions of my own feelings only seem to ease your own faults. I could have cared for you just as I have for Yeosang, Jongho, Mingi even. But your decision to poison me so that I am forced to be with you was something else entirely. So how can you stand there and tell me that I didn’t try when I did? I was slowly trusting you, Wooyoung. You, alone. And you erased it completely by making me ill. This is your doing, not mine. Never was. So how about accepting your fuck-ups instead of trying to pin it on someone else?”

His fists slowly loosen at your words, angry brows furrowing. How someone as smart as him not able to take your words at face value is beyond your own comprehension. But you’ve laid out your feelings as clearly as you could. It’s up to him to decide if he wants to acknowledge them or not.

“You’re saying that you would have accepted me as I am now?”

“I'm saying that I already have, Wooyoung. You are who you are. Who am I to tell you what you can and cannot be? You're a vampire, that's it. I wouldn’t try to make you a human because I want it. And I hoped that none of you would force me to be a vampire, but look at where we are now."

He takes a step closer to you, only for you to move closer to Yunho. Wooyoung’s eyes shift to him before sighing. “I’d rather we speak in private.”

“Walls are thin, Woo. We’d hear it whether or not I’m here,” Yunho shrugs. “And, frankly, I doubt she wants to be alone with you after everything.”

“You don’t speak for her.”

“He’s right,” you interrupt. “I’d rather someone else in the room.”

“Fine! Fine,” he begins to point at you, before slowly lowering his hand. “Everyone makes me out to be the bad guy. Like it is my fault you died when it’s not even close. I was in the back when it happened! I mean,” he rubs his face, glancing at his friend. “You're letting yourself hide behind a man you don't know, one whose had more involvement than me when it comes to Rose’s turning–”

“Enough, Wooyoung.” Yunho says.

“What? Am I not allowed to tell everyone’s misdeeds? Am I supposed to bear them all on my own? Why am I the lone sinner? Why can I not be the one who she can finally trust? Why do I have to hold your burdens as if they are mine?!” His fingers slowly curl into fists. “It's pushed onto me because you all have designated me as this devil, this monster that cannot be cured. y/n,” his eyes move to you. “I’ll admit my mistakes to you. Yeosang knew about me poisoning you, but it was no fault of his own. I'm not sure if the others have told you this, but the vampire that turns you is able to sire you. He cannot resist my commands if I make it so. He wanted to tell you, but he couldn’t. Because of me. Because of my faults.” He shakes his head, his fingers scratching against his scalp. “I’ll take credit for what I have done. But I will not stand here and pretend everything that has gone wrong around here is all because of my decisions. I'm not going to do it anymore, fuck the rest of you."

“y/n,” Yunho lifts your chin to meet his gaze. “If I may ask, could you please find yourself back to your quar–room, your room. Please. I need to speak with him for a moment.”

You swallow slowly, nodding. You don’t catch the quick flicker of fear in Wooyoung’s eyes at Yunho’s words, keeping your gaze low. There’s so much to process, so many words to accept. Your head begins to throb at the thought of trying to. You step around Yunho, slowly leaving the kitchen. But just before you turn the corner, “Thank you, Wooyoung. For finally admitting it.” Your eyes flick to his. “This doesn't mean I forgive you, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

You leave them be, slowly making your way back to your room without food. You aren’t necessarily hungry right now, it was in all honesty just a stroll from your room. You are still a bit annoyed that it was rudely interrupted, but you digress. Your eyes flick to the quick movement just at the end of the hallway, Yeosang disappearing into his room. You sigh.

It is perhaps not the best time to start something with him, but what do you have to lose? You plan on leaving soon, anyway. You slowly shuffle down the hallway, his door slightly ajar just as you make it around the corner. Taking a long breath, you slowly push it with your free hand, entering his room.

“It’s polite to knock,” he notes. He rests on the seat by his balcony window, leg swinging back and forth. He does not turn to you, though you expected as much. The last time he gazed in your eyes was when you first came back. You haven’t seen him since. His hair seems darker now, blond locks fading into a darker brown.

“You were gone with San for a while,” you start, breathing heavily as you shut the door behind it. It gives you some semblance of privacy, though you’re sure everyone in this house is in tune with your conversation.

“To keep him from losing himself,” he says simply, shrugging. “He would have done the same for me.”

You nod slowly, resting against his velvety couch. Though he doesn’t turn to see you struggle, you can see the scowl on his lips, already predicting his next words.

“You should be resting, not wandering around our home. It makes sense that San had to stitch you up once more. He will have to do it again if you don't sit still.”

“That’s a concern for another day.”

“y/n…”

"Why are you avoiding me?"

He runs his fingers through his hair.

"I could have saved you." He looks small. Arms wrapped around himself, gaze to the floor. Body shaking. "I could have saved you from Wooyoung, from Subin, from Sejun. I could have saved you from them all, but I didn't. I let Wooyoung's words have an influence over me, I," He slowly shakes his head. "You could have died."

His head finally lifts. He looks at the bandage wrapped around your calf, your waist, the bruises on your face. The endless wounds that seem to cover every exposed part of your body. He swallows slowly, lips trembling. "I could have saved you from this."

"None of this is your fault."

"You can't keep saying that. You can't keep pulling the blame away from me. I knew he was poisoning you and did nothing to stop it. You should hate me as much as him, if not more. Don't stand there and pretend you don't–"

“He told me.”

“What?” Yeosang stills, gaze still far away.

“Wooyoung. He told me about what he did to you. How he forced you to abide by his every word, his desires. I didn't even ask for his confession, but he gave it willingly without a second thought. I know he’s doing it only to earn my favor and good graces but him mustering up the will to even explain it to me probably earned him some trust. I doubt that I will be able to forgive him, but I do forgive you, Yeosang.”

He starts to shake his head, fingers digging into his scalp. His grip is harsh to the point that you see red staining the blonde, spilling from underneath his hold. “y/n, you should take every word that comes from him with great caution. And you shouldn’t forgive me for what I’ve done. It is utterly sinful.”

"He sounded sincere."

His lips form a scowl. "And that's your first mistake, y/n. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is close to sincere."

"Yeosang, please listen to me," you take a long breath. "I know that if you had the choice you wouldn’t have hidden the poisoning from me.”

"y/n–"

"Am I wrong for assuming this?"

He shakes his head, “That doesn’t matter because I did hide it. I know you want me to be this pillar of goodness, but I'm not that. I will never be that as long as I am the way I am, y/n. You should never trust any word from me.” His gaze finally meets yours across the darkened room. He looks dreadful, exhausted.

“I want you to love me. I am so lonely, my y/n,” his eyes are filled with fear, sorrow. “These hundreds of years have passed and I am still as lonely as I was when Rose died. I want you to love me as I have loved you. I want you to look at me and see me as I am. To need me as desperately as I need you. I need to feel loved, y/n. But because of my tie to my friend, I cannot,” he swallows slowly, eyes flicking between yours. “You will never be able to truly be mine because there is always him. There will always be him."

"I thought my dream of being somewhat normal faded long ago, but ever since your soul appeared in front of us again all of those emotions came back tenfold. I want to be human. I want to go to places with you, court you without having the fear of somehow doing something to me that's out of my control. To watch a sunset with you. I want to love you the way you deserve, I want you to be truly mine. But that will never happen. And for the sins that I’ve committed in the past and up to now, perhaps it is warranted. Perhaps I was never meant to have even the slightest bit of happiness when I was turned into this. All of it doesn’t matter in the end, though. Because the past cannot be changed just under sheer eagerness.”

Yeosang tenses up. He attempts to move but Wooyoung tightens his hold. “I cannot live without my best friend, Yeosang. And Rose says she will no longer love you if you were anything other than human. Shall we test that?”

“Wooyoung.” The words escape your own lips, though you know it’s Rose’s. You can feel the fear in her chest, the worry in her voice. Is this the moment Yeosang was turned?

Wooyoung holds his hand against the edge of the dresser, dragging it across harshly. His wrist begins to bleed as he presses it against Yeosang’s mouth, forcing the blood into it. He gags against his hold, desperately trying to get him to stop. Tears roll down his cheeks, eyes flicking to yours. You’ve never seen his eyes filled with such fear, horror. Regret.

"Stop!" You push against someone’s hold, but it's of no use. Wooyoung grips Yeosang's body, forcing his wrist against his mouth. Crazed eyes hold him close, fingers almost piercing Yeosang's shoulder with how elated he is.

“This is all for you, Rose. We will test that will of yours.”

Cries escape your chest as you fall to your knees, unable to do anything. You soon realize it is Mingi who holds you, continuing his whispering of comforting words to help you calm down, but you only feel your heart breaking. Wooyoung lifts your knife you left on your shelf, stabbing it into Yeosang’s chest. The stress in your body overwhelms you, body shaking as you lose consciousness.

“y/n!” He shakes you again and you’re finally pulled from it, glazed eyes clearing. Yeosang holds your face in his hands, brows furrowed as he stares at you. You aren't sure how much time passed between the vision and now, but he seems nervous as he holds you. “Are you alright? You weren’t here with me-”

“I saw it,” you swallow. You can remember how he once looked, the utter terror in his eyes as Wooyoung held him against his will. Killed him as he grinned at Rose. Yeosang was full of life then, eyes a softer brown, cheeks flushed. Losing his life in mere moments. The sounds only echo in your ears as he holds you, trying to pull you away from those thoughts. His thumb rubs against your cheek, wiping the tear that falls. “I saw you die, Yeosang.”

“It’s alright,” he says softly, pressing his forehead against yours. “You don’t need to let those thoughts worry you. It was so long ago. It no longer affects me.”

“You never asked to be part of this and were forced into it because of him,” You do not say his name, deeming it unnecessary. “How can I pretend I didn’t just see it? No wonder.”

“No wonder what?” he asks softly.

No wonder Rose could not stand any of you any longer. No wonder she killed herself. Seeing the monster that Wooyoung became, it must have broken her. From the other instances he seemed so kind, loving. But in that moment, you could only feel disgust rising in Rose. Hurt.

"No wonder she didn't want to turn," you whisper.

Yeosang sighs. “We all know what happened before when Rose was turned; forcing you into the same position would only lead to another death. I want you to live a long life as do the rest of us, but their definition of life is certainly construed in comparison to mine.” His hand wraps around yours. You’ve noticed that they can easily blend into crowds without lingering looks because they just look pale from a distance, but watching his hand in yours changes your perspective. There is no color in his skin, a dull gray. But still, you lift his hand, pressing your lips against the back of it. His brows lift in silent shock, lips parting. His eyes flick over yours, a small smile slowly forming as he stares at you. “Why would I ask you to lose your warmth when I enjoy the flush of your cheeks?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his words, letting your head rest against his chest. “In any other circumstance if a person told me they enjoyed how my blood circulated I’d be a bit creeped out.”

“Very true,” he chuckles along with you, pulling you closer into his chest. “I know my next words will be taken with mirth, but I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive him.”

Which him, he doesn’t say, but you can take a wild guess. You sigh, letting your eyes shut. “Would you be able to forgive so easily in my situation?”

He pauses for a moment, “It took me a few decades to accept him as he is. Forgiveness took a tad bit longer.”

“Define a tad bit.”

“y/n.”

“Yeo.”

He sighs. “… about seventy years.”

“Then I’ll pardon him in forty.”

“y/n,” he repeats again, his voice softer. You frown as you meet his gaze, ignoring the pout of his lips, the lax resting of his eyes- Damnit, could you at least pretend to be resilient against his charm?

“Yeosang, I am not going to forgive someone who almost murdered me. In fact, if I ever decided to become a vampire – which I won’t – “ you notice his eyes lighting up at your words. “I would ignore his very existence for the next five hundred years.”

He purses his lips, thinking. “That’s not too bad.”

“Kang Yeosang!”

He laughs, holding you close to him as you playfully shove against his frame. It’s a losing battle, finally slumping into his arms, ignoring the pain on your side from the awkward position. Yeosang seems to notice though, shifting his hold as he lies back on his bed.

"I won't force you to be something you don't want, y/n. Though my words do not hold as much trust as others, I promise I won't."

None of this is Wooyoung's work. His hands pull you closer to his body, soothened at the warmth of you surrounding him. How could he hate himself for lying to you when he gets this in return? He will feel terrible later, yes. He will hate himself right as you leave his side. But for now he enjoys it. Hums as he tucks his face into the curve of your neck, overjoyed when he hears comforting sounds escaping you. No, if he needed to lie again, he would do it. Just to feel you again.

Consequences be damned.

You nod, closing your eyes. "I know. Did you hear that conversation in the kitchen?"

"Walls are only a figurative barrier in this home."

"That's a yes, then."

"I try not to snoop, but I heard you say my name. It was hard not to pay attention to every word that left your lips. I tried leaving before you caught me, but I was a bit stunned. I didn't know how much you cared for me, y/n. I do not mind being your favorite, though." He chuckles, lips pressed into your hair.

"You're not my favorite," you whine, but his laughs only continue. "Yeosang!"

-

Yeosang’s words still linger in your head. Forgiving Wooyoung. Would you ever be able to do it? Whenever he sends you smiles, the memory of him killing Yeosang flashes in your head. It’s been hundreds of years, sure, but from what you know that hasn’t exactly changed him. You can’t even look at fruit the same, the boxes on the counter only piling because you’re scared of touching it. In fact, you only allow a few of them to follow you to the market to get food. With great reluctance, of course. Your place is still to leave.

Though you insisted that you'd never stay longer than another week, it's very much past that. Each time you arrive at an interview with expectations you'll be hired, you're rejected. Your friends still ignore your calls. It’s just as Subin and Sejun said - you have no one. All you have is these eight men who don’t truly love you, and who you suspect all want you to themselves one way or another.

“The food in the fridge is expired,” Seonghwa hums, placing a bundle of bananas into the cart. Yunho lingers next to him, hands tucked in his pocket as the three of you walk through the produce. “You’re the only one who eats, it’s not good to let it go to waste.”

“I told you,” you examine the cabbage. “I’m not touching anything any of you buy.”

“You let Seonghwa grab those bananas,” Yunho points out, quickly averting his eyes when you look at him. “Just saying!”

“Well I can tell he didn’t inject it with something strange, so I trust those for now. As long as they stay in my room.”

“Wooyoung isn’t allowed in the kitchen anymore. It’s safe, doe,” Seonghwa notes, following you to the register. “Hongjoong made sure of it.”

“Ah yes, the most trustworthy man in that house,” you snort, rolling your eyes. “No thanks. I’ll let my room turn into a grocery store before I put anything in that kitchen. And,” you look back at the both of them. “I found a place.”

Seonghwa stiffens, Yunho’s smile shifting. It’s strange how you never noticed before - the shifts in their expressions. If you blinked you wouldn’t have noticed Yunho’s smile lessen into more of a scowl, Seonghwa’s body stilling. The more you look at them the more they feel… scary. You’ve experienced this same feeling before, when you first met them. In all honesty you thought you were over it. That you were fine with them being vampires. But in these moments you can see why the stories considered them terrifying. They can so easily become non-human. Unreal. You look away, not wanting to linger on these feelings.

“Seonghwa, actually,” you start, still keeping your eyes forward. “Would you be able to drop off my food in my room? I need to take a trip somewhere.”

He moves in front of your cart, hands gripping the front to stop you in your tracks. His head tilts, brows furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not leaving, not yet,” you sigh. “And I have all of my things still at the house. Too many important things to just abandon on a whim.”

“y/n-”

“If you want me to trust you,” you glare back at Yunho. “Then let me go for an afternoon. I’ll be back before you know it.”

They both exchange a look. Seonghwa finally lets go of the cart, walking around and nudging you off the handles. You let him take your place, glancing between the two.

“When you get home,” his eyes flick to Yunho. “Tell Hongjoong that we lost you in a crowd. And take this,” he hands you a small bottle. The words are in a foreign language, nothing you can decipher. “Spray this on you several blocks away from our home. In fact, do it when you’re at wherever you’re going. It blocks our senses of your smell. Actually,” Seonghwa takes it from your grasp, spraying it on your neck. “Tell him you found it in your room on the shelf if he finds you with it.”

“This is a bad idea,” Yunho rubs his face, glancing at you. “He will kill us, truly.”

“He won’t when he sees her safe and sound when she comes home later. Right, doe?”

You nod quickly. It’s true, you don’t plan on running away now. Not until you find the truth. The real truth. He sends you a strained smile. “Good. Please get home by eight at night. Yunho and I will be running in just five minutes before telling them that we cannot find you. It will be… overwhelming for that moment, but it’ll be fine. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He leans forward, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “Then we agree. I will see you soon, my doe.” He grips Yunho’s arm, pulling him along to the register.

-

The door is open before you enter. She never left it open, always afraid that something would happen while she was gone. And it’s warranted - the city isn’t as safe as it used to be. You slowly enter, a strong smell hitting you as you stand in the doorway. Like chemicals were spilled everywhere, the bleach stinging your nose. You take out your mask and put it on, slowly entering the living area. All of her things are in their places, though thrown about just like it usually is. It is almost eerie how perfectly placed they are - even her favorite magazine, open on a page that she would love to look over.

“Siyoon?” You say, picking up the book. A layer of dust covers it, your hands beginning to shake. She used to complain about the mess of your apartment. She’s the last person that would ever let it get this bad in her own home. You’re sure that she cleans everyday. You grip your phone, dialing her number again. It goes to voicemail just like before. “This isn’t funny, Siyoon,” you say, opening her room door.

Her clothing is thrown all over, as if she were in a rush to leave. Drawers thrown open, old makeup cracked on the floor. Spilled and dry, staining the hardwood. Was she afraid of something? Why would she leave so quickly? Your eyes flick to her phone on the dresser. You quickly pick it up, pressing the power button. A zero flashes at you before turning off again. You take it, tucking it in your pocket. Though this isn’t exactly what you pictured, you just hope that she’s okay. Whatever spooked her though, especially leaving without all of her things - what the hell happened?

And why can’t you get rid of the feeling that deep down, you know who was responsible?

-

“You let her out of your sight? What the fuck were you thinking?”

Hongjoong’s voice rings through the home as you step inside, shutting the door behind you. Just as the click echoes, everyone is at the entrance way. You furrow your brows as you meet their frightened eyes, sighing. “Don’t overreact-”

“Why would you disappear like that? We thought-” Jongho trails off, swallowing.

“I’m a fucking grown woman, I can do what I want,” you step around their bodies, glancing at Yunho and Seonghwa briefly. Their gazes are blank, though Seonghwa’s brighter, eyes softening when they rest on yours. You send him a quick smile as well, “Seonghwa? Were you able to finish shopping?”

“I left them in your room, my doe.”

“...Can you help me put them away, then?”

He nods quickly, stepping around everyone else. You can see the venom in their eyes as you ignore everyone else, your hand slowly sliding into Seonghwa’s, leading him down the hallway. Siyoon’s phone feels heavy in your pocket as you do so. You hope that whatever you find leads you to what happened. And despite all the arrows pointing to who obviously made her run away - you wish it wasn't them.

Seonghwa quietly helps you place your things in your makeshift cupboard and drawers, humming as he does so. You place your phone on your dresser along with Siyoon's delicately in your side table when he turns his back.

"I'm glad you're safe. And I'm happy you came back," He doesn't elaborate on his words. "I really am, doe. And I know you don't truly trust any of us really, but thank you for trusting me enough to safely bring your food home."

You nod, looking at him through your mirror. He leans against the opposing wall, staring at you. Your eyes meet in the mirror. Though you really had no time to dwell on it, they're all handsome. You're not ugly, far from it in your mind, but their beauty is intimidating. Having their attention on you had somehow lessened your confidence – though before them you already had plenty – being the driving object of their affections is frightening. You wonder if they look at you and see you, or see Rose. And if she is the temptress they say she was, and identical to you, well that's just another can of worms to dig through.

"We haven't known each other for long, but I can tell when you're overthinking. That distant look in your eyes. Whatever it is, you can say it. I'll answer it confidently."

"It's not a question, just an observation," you shrug, sitting on the edge of your bed. Seonghwa sits next to you, planting himself at the small chair just a meter or so away from you. "No need to look so serious, Hwa," you roll your eyes.

"The look told me otherwise."

"Rose was beautiful," you start, and he nods, though he looks confused.

"As are you."

"What I mean," you struggle with your words. Why is it so hard to speak? Each time one of them is in front of you it's like your words are restrained, harder to describe. "I'm not half as confident as she was. Not anymore. She and I are not the same people. I just don't understand how you could care for me half as much as her–"

"Doe," he shakes his head. "I belong to you."

"I don't want you to. You’re your own person, Seonghwa. How could you not understand that?"

"You must misunderstand my words," he shifts the chair closer to you. "I belong to you, y/n. It is my choice to say these words. Your soul is what I love. I want you to accept me as yours, because in my mind I am already. And I deeply desire for you to be mine even though I know it will never be," his lips tremble as he looks at you. "I hope that our days will no longer be filled with turmoil. It feels as if we haven't had a day of calamity for such a long time."

"Who's fault is that?" It's rhetorical, but he answers it anyway.

"Ours. It is our fault. It is mine as much as it is the other's."

You close your eyes and take a long breath. How could you be brave when he expresses himself with such raw emotion? Your heart oftentimes wavers in his presence. There's no real explanation; whether it be emotions unbeknownst to you from the past, or what you feel now. He just brings out a soft spot within you that you forget. And you hate it. You hate that your own self betrays you, makes you look past everything that has happened. His blatant begging for you should disgust you when you know of their obsession. You know that one of them killed Rose. And you know that none of them did anything to stop it. So why can you only look at him with… love?

"You don't belong to me," you repeat softly, less sure of your words. "I don't want you to belong to me."

"Anything you want–"

"Stop saying that," you look at him, holding back your tears as you meet his watery one's. "Don't look at me like that, Hwa. Don't do that to me."

"y/n–"

"I can't talk to you when you look at me like that," you admit, covering your face. "Fucking Hell, I can't do this anymore."

His cool touch brushes against your skin, slowly pulling your hands away. He presses his lips against the back of them, eyes fluttering. "Don't hide yourself from me."

"I…" You trail off, watching as he presses his lips against your wrist, kissing each fingertip. Your breath hitches as his teeth grazes against the skin of your thumb. "Seonghwa–"

"I love you, y/n," he whispers softly, holding your hands against his face. The red darkened, heavy as he takes in your face. "I won't ever stop."

He moves closer to you, thumb rubbing your cheek slowly. You're not too sure who leans first, but you feel the shudder of his breath against yours. His hands holding your head steady, tongues dragging across one another's, filling the silence. Your heart beats against your eardrums, hands gripping your pants as he holds you close.

"Wait," he pulls away, licking his lips. "I don't want you to think of me as a horrible man. I'm not trying to push your emotions to the side because I can't help myself."

You nod, grip loosening against your pants, "It was too much."

He laughs, shaking his head, "Too much? My pretty doe, it's never enough when it comes to you. But I don't want to rush things. I want the both of us to care for each other fully. Despite the urges," he closes his eyes briefly. "I am still a gentleman."

"You and Rose? Did you ever…?"

His lip curves into a small smile, shaking his head, "Despite my endless yearning and waiting, the only place I ever expressed my love for her was her lips. She told me that my love for her was too great, that it would be devastating if we did anything more. Not to her, but to me."

"Did you believe her?"

He nods slowly, "Rose was the only love of my long life, but I was not hers. And I didn't mind it, no, but she knew my feelings. She knew that I would break if she told me how she truly felt about me. I was thankful that she pushed me away at the time. As I am thankful that I was able to do it now," he admits, eyes roaming over yours. "You don't love me the way I love you. It would be a mistake to let it go further."

You rub your face. He's right, just as he always is. You let the moment get the best of you. Seonghwa has often been your weak point just as Yeosang. "Then can you stay?"

"Stay?"

"Tonight with me? I don't know, I…" Siyoon's apartment is still lingering in the back of your mind. If he's here, maybe you'll be able to ignore it. Ignore the phone in your drawer, the mystery hidden behind the darkened screen. "I need someone to stay tonight."

He doesn't question further, does not investigate. Instead he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves to shower. Soon enough he's back in the room, sliding beneath the sheets with you. Pulling you close against his chest, lips resting against the curve of your neck.

You can't quite remember how much time passed. All you can do is stare at yourself.

Broken.

You touch the bruise on your lips, the darkened skin beneath your eyes, discoloration on your skin. Watch as his hand slowly drags along your skin, wrapping around the curve of your shoulder, lips pressed against the space behind your ear. His low hums, lids opening to meet your gaze in the mirror. The deep scarlet of his irises, slow smirk of his lips as he breaths against you. You look utterly ruined, tiredness dripping from the reflection. And yet here he is. Staring at you with adoration, desire, care. He stares at the broken figure of you and loves it. Your tongue drags across your lips, blinks quick.

"You can look at that reflection and still love her?" You whisper. He moves his lips from your skin, resting his chin lightly on your shoulder. His head leans into yours, cheek creasing as he nods.

"How could I not?"

"I don't look like myself," You look dead. The light in your eyes is barely there anymore. Perhaps this is what they've wanted. The scars and cuts on your body aren't exactly his fault, though you've never looked like this before meeting all of them. "I look like I've been run over by a truck."

"You were stabbed y/n, I think giving yourself a bit of leeway would do wonders."

Though he isn't wrong in the slightest, keeping your gaze on the reflection only seems to darken your thoughts. You watch as his hand rests opposite from where his head is, thumb tracing your beauty marks. He keeps his eyes on yours, softening when he sees how moist your eyes are. Without another word, his hand turns your head to him. You look away from the mirror reluctantly, meeting his gaze.

"Do you believe these eyes of mine are lying?" He's never looked more sure than he does now. "Doe, so much has happened to you. The one man you could count on isn't here. We all know that."

You've never said how much you care for Yeosang, but it seems to be more obvious than you realized. Your feelings for Jongho were pretty equal with your feelings for Yeosang, but this dread each time you look at him just won't go away. Yeosang never had a choice, but Jongho did. All of them did.

"You love him more than the rest of us." It's not a question. And surprisingly he doesn't look angry as he says it. "It's hard."

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "Love is never something to apologize for."

“I don’t know why I do,” you start. “I’m not one to believe in past lives influencing current ones but there’s always been a tie to him. He is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to not stay,” you admit, ignoring Seonghwa’s burning gaze in the mirror. “When he left it felt like I needed to go too. But now that he’s back, it just feels-”

“Like you can’t leave?” He asks, and you slowly nod. Seonghwa doesn’t say anything else, his fingers slowly folding into yours. You let him guide you back into the bed. Though that was the end of the conversation, your thoughts still consume you.

There is this constant thought that everything you say will be used against you. Hongjoong does it often, his sneer and quick glances, taking in your words to remind you of them later. Yunho does it as well, though a bit more secretive. You can’t quite figure out the others. None of this changes your stance though. You’ve told them you were leaving. Yeosang be damned. You’re not going home, the reminder from Sejun that your family wouldn’t be safe. But it’s scary to think that once you leave, you have nowhere to go. Visiting old friends is not what you’d like to do either – they will be the ones hurt in the end. All in all, it seems that in all, it seems that you only have them. Just them.

The thought makes you queasy.

Seonghwa seems to feel the shift of your emotions, the arm wrapped around your torso tightening, pulling you closer. You shiver at his cool arm resting against your stomach, lids heavy. If only you knew what was coming tomorrow, you would have left that night.

If only you knew of the terrors of the coming days.

-

Mingi is the one to break the news.

You’re sitting on the grass in the backyard, notebook in hand as you brainstorm where exactly you’re going after leaving. Yunho’s the first to step outside, a strained smile on his lips as he nods, immediately giving you his back as he starts up his bike. Soon after, one or two of them trickle outside to seemingly random spots. Hongjoong rests against the opening to the outside door, hands against his chest. You aren’t keen on the idea of all of them surrounding you in some way, gripping your notebook tightly as you glance between them. Mingi is the first to move from his spot (he’s been sitting on the lower roof lately), landing on the ground and slowly walking over to you.

“Who died?” You ask just as he begins to speak. His eyes flick to Hongjoong, before landing on yours. “Ah, are we playing another guessing game?”

“Well…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeosang’s gone.”

You roll your eyes, attention back on your notebook. “I never said I wanted to participate in them.”

“No, doe,” Seonghwa appears on the side of you, a small smile on his lips. Since that night the two of you have grown closer. Most of your time is spent by yourself, and the remainder, he usually seeks you out. You don’t mind it, he’s quiet most of the time, enjoying the silence along with you. This expression on his face, though. Worry is never a good look. “Yeosang left. He won’t be coming back.”

Your brows furrow, looking to Hongjoong. “What did you do?”

He only sighs, shaking his head. “You love to blame me for others, don’t you?”

“Who else is there to blame? Yeosang wouldn’t leave on his own accord, not like that. Not without-” You.

You swallow. “He wouldn’t.”

“He wouldn’t, and yet he did. Pitiful,” Hongjoong sighs, shaking his head. “I was quite enjoying his presence around here. Made everyone else tolerable.”

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa sighs, shaking his head. “Not the best time for jokes.”

“Who said I was joking?”

You stand up from your spot, ignoring Seonghwa’s lingering touch on your shoulder as you move closer to Hongjoong. You haven’t spoken to him since the incident, and in fact you’d rather not speak to him at all, but Yeosang left. And there’s only two people who would make him do it. Hongjoong, the prideful captain himself, or …

“Wooyoung made him go?” You ask.

Hongjoong says nothing. You turn around, noticing that conveniently, said man is nowhere to be found. A warm hand touches yours and you immediately step away from him, seething.

“Come with me to dinner and I’ll show you.”

You scoff, “No.”

He rolls his eyes, shrugging. “Then I suppose you’ll never know where your dear Yeosang went off to. And thus, I plead for you not to come to me and complain and whine, but I’m sure you will. It’s what you do best.” He shrugs, a slow smirk forming on his lips.

“Does no one else know?”

“Unfortunately, I’m the only one. It’s a captain’s duty to know where his crew is at all times, my sea.”

“You’re insufferable,” you rub your face, thinking. He waits patiently for a response. There isn’t any point in pretending; you’ll have to go to this dinner with him whether you like it or not. “If I go, you’ll tell me? No tricks, Hongjoong?”

“None at all, beautiful,” his grin only widens. “I’ll see you tonight.”

-

You balance the chopsticks between your fingers, blatantly ignoring the stare down from the man in front of you. You only agreed to this to learn of Yeosang’s whereabouts, and perhaps – ignoring all of the red flags, hoping to see him. Taking Hongjoong’s invitation to a private dinner is the last thing that you ever wanted but here you are. Dining across from a mad man.

You reach for the garlic bread, Hongjoong pushing the basket closer to you.

"You could have just told me where he is and leave out all of this," you say, thanking the waiter as he places the plate in front of you. It's pasta all'amatriciana; Hongjoong insisted that you'd enjoy it. He had nothing for himself of course, tending to a bit of red wine.

He takes a sip, lips resting on the edge of the glass. He uses his free hand to gesture to the food. You would scowl but it's best not to get on his bad side for now. You take a bite, holding in your shock. It's probably the best pasta you've ever had.

"You needn't hide it, my sea, I can see it in your eyes. Good, right?" His tongue drags along the glass. You look away.

"So Yeosang?"

"He's gone. He won't be back anytime soon. Sorry to disappoint."

"Was it his choice?" Your voice is low. The last thing you expected was for him to leave you alone with them. Especially with your last conversation. Yeosang didn't give you any signs of wanting to go. "Or did someone decide for him?"

“It will get cold if you continue to stare so feverously,” his eyes flick to the plate in front of you. “What will you do, stab me with a fork?”

“It’s useless because iron doesn’t hurt you,” you sigh, taking another bite. The restaurant is filled with patrons, all couples from ranges of ages dining. Places like this have never been your cup of tea. Most guests appear pretentious, noses held high, words not used in everyday language falling from their lips. Harsh words to the waiters just doing their jobs. Many moaning and groaning at how delicious a salad with a sprinkle of salt tastes. Hongjoong bringing you here only solidifies that he doesn’t really know you. You’d never enjoy a place like this in your life.

“Your face is an open book,” he grins, taking another sip. “I’ve brought you here for a reason.”

“You’re ignoring my questions, so I don’t really care-“

“Oh, but I think you will once I explain it to you."

You sigh, "Hard to believe. Pretty sure you just dragged me out here for yourself."

"You lack trust," he shrugs. "Why would I bring the one I love to a place without meaning behind it?"

You take another bite. "Nothing has changed over the hundreds of years that have passed. All reincarnations of me, you either risked your livelihood or killed theirs along the way. You will so easily die for love. Does that not terrify you? Willing to give up yourself for a fickle love?" You meet his eyes. "Hongjoong, how do you think this will end? Have you truly deluded yourself into thinking we will be together? That I will fall at your feet, and finally look at you with care?"

He pauses for a moment.

"Loving you less is not possible, my sea. Our souls meeting over and over again like this is no coincidence. I never sought you out, you always came to me. We did not find each other by accident."

"That I agree with," you choose your next words carefully. "But have you ever considered that my soul sought out yours for healing? Because from what you've said and what I know, my soul has only suffered in your presence. If you truly cherished me you would let me go."

His lip quirks.

"Is it so hard to love me? Is it so impossible that you will not even consider the thought? Attempt at merely liking me? Is it so difficult for even a brief moment to look at me and think that there is a part of me that you adore, that you see as worthy of your attention? Can you possibly gaze upon me and see that my love for you is never ending, everlasting. I know that you will never love me as desperately as I do you, but can you not try?" Though you can only see the white of his eyes, his words oddly resonate within you. If it were another life, if you met him under different circumstances, there would have been a chance. A moment where you could look at him and think, well, he could be someone you love. Even now, you care for him in a sick and unreasonable way. But is it love? No.

Hongjoong is not a person you can ever love.

"If you wanted me to love you, you would have let me go long ago, Hongjoong," you say simply, sinking deeper into the seat. Oddly relaxing despite the circumstances. "Perhaps then I would have."

His mind wanders for a moment as he takes in your words. He desperately wanted to be wanted, to have him be the only though in the forefront of your mind, to have only him as the one you desired, you loved. Hongjoong’s plan was not for you to spend time with all of them, no. He wanted you so entrapped in his lure that you would not care if the others were there or not. He wanted you so deluded, that you would not even notice that they were gone in the first place. He does not quite know how much longer he can last, knowing you're just out of his grasp.

That is why he brought you here.

"You desperately want to know where your Yeosang has gone. You see,” He adjusts himself in his seat, eyes flicking over the tables surrounding the two of you. “All of these people in this room were invited personally. You’re surrounded by presidents of the largest companies; CFOs, CEOs, CMOs… all of the horrendously affluent figureheads in our country. They’ve all partaken in some sort of black-market scheme, or invested in a medication that is more lethal than a snake’s venom. They believe this dinner was a congratulations on selling one million doses of death across the globe. It is anything but,” his eyes move to yours. “Yeosang is here to kill them all.”

You tense, eyes widening. “What?“ He places his hand on yours, nudging his head in a different direction. You turn around to follow where he points.

Yeosang holds a glass in his hands, the silhouette of his suit blending into the decorative curtains just behind him. His eyes seem distant, jaw tight. The red seems to be burning each time someone passes him by, the grip on his cup only tightening. He wears a suit like everyone else in the crowd, blending in with ease. If Hongjoong didn't point him out you're sure you wouldn't have noticed him in the room at all.

“He has always been this martyr in your eyes. This pillar of good. Sure, this is a great deed to mankind; killing every single human in this room will save millions. But do they not deserve trials? There are guests here that are just innocents, accompanied by the true sinners. Of course, he doesn’t care for that, because he'd rather a few guiltless people’s lives be lost than seeing these other dejected souls plant their seeds of hatred and greed another day.”

You try to stand but Hongjoong is quicker, stepping behind you before you can blink, forcing your body back into the seat. He rests his head on your shoulder, lips just a brush away from your ears. He presses his hand against your mouth. “When he loses himself in his own thoughts he becomes this way. Detached. Uncaring of human life once he set a goal in his mind. He locked the doors already, y/n. He will start from the back since it gives the people closest to the front less warning of what's happening. Let us watch the one you love do his self assigned duty.”

It happens too fast for your eyes to watch. He starts from the far end of the restaurant as Hongjoong said. You aren’t sure how he’s doing it, until you see each person grip their necks, choking. He’s quick, moving from table to table, never lingering. The music is too loud in the room for people to take notice, laughing and enjoying their time as people die around them. Blood spills across tables, splattering on the white tablecloths.

“It’s a massacre,” you whisper, too shocked to look away. You wonder if he’s even noticed the two of you.

“It’s a revelation,” Hongjoong grins, laughing as the heads hit the silverware. Slowly people begin to notice, murmurs amongst the crowd as he continues his path. Your gaze moves to the table he's coming upon. There sits a small family, a child laughing with their parents as they eat. He seems unfazed by the patrons, expression mute as he makes his way. Hongjoong’s hand falls from your lips, giving you an opportunity to speak.

“Yeosang!”

He stills in his movements, head immediately moving to where you sit. The emotionless expression shifts to horror, gaze flicking over yours, as if you aren’t truly there. So it is as you suspected - he never knew you were in the room. Would he have even cared if he did?

“I’ll let you have a moment with him. Unfortunately, I have to finish the job. No witnesses,” he shrugs, leaving you alone at the table as you stare at Yeosang across the room. He drops the knife from his hand, steps hurried. You stand up from your spot, body shaking as he moves closer.

Yeosang is just like the others. It was foolish to think otherwise. Rose was right in her words – they are monsters, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. Even Yeosang, the sweet man who wooed you beyond simple words, is just like the rest of them. You try to back away but he uses his speed against you. Hands wrapping around your arms as he stares at you. You look down, the blood staining his fingers rubbing off on your shirt. Surrounded by it often should have numbed your senses. But it is as it was before, your stomach turning. He holds your face in his hands, brows furrowed as he meets yours. You flinch at his thumb rubbing against your cheek.

"You weren't supposed to see me like this, pretty," he whispers, eyes flicking to your lips. He traces the outline, humming softly. "You were supposed to be home."

If it's fear holding you back from speaking you don't dwell on it. His head tilts, sucking in a breath. "Say something to me. Tell me."

You were never able to resist his charm, even now. Your hands rise, covering his. He shivers at how hot yours are, even as you pull them off your face. You take a step back, the screams rising in volume. People around you are desperate to escape; Cries of children. the sounds of gargling, choking, Hongjoong swiftly killing each and every person. You hold your hands over your ears, crouching into a ball as the sounds just seem to grow louder and louder. The cool touch of his makes you tense and he immediately pulls away.

"I…" You stop in your own words, glass breaking. Sobs continue to drake your body. They're killers. They kill. It's so foolish of you to think otherwise.

He crouched down next to you, "Rose–"

He stills.

"I was a fool," you whisper, swallowing slowly. "I'm a fool, aren't I?"

"No. No. It was a slip of the tongue, y/n. I swear it. I know you, I know there's a difference."

“How about you go back home, Yeosang? We have important things to discuss.”

You don’t dare look Yeosang in the eyes again, afraid that what you might see will only hurt you more. You’re not too sure when he left, but the room has suddenly become quiet. You look up.

Hongjoong’s tongue drags across his skin. An almost giddy, joyful expression crosses his gaze– absolutism, resolved, accomplished. How someone can hold pure glee inside of them as they lick off the blood of the person they killed is beyond you. His burning gaze reaches yours. Hungry. Satisfied. The gaze of a man who knows he has won. He drops the last body from his hands, the thump echoing in your ears through the ringing. He steps over the other bodies, kicking some of them on his slow stroll to you.

You crumble. There is no use for it, that you know. You could run to the ends of the Earth and he will find you with ease. No matter what words you say to reject him he merely takes it as motivation to continue, another obstacle to overcome. You could spend your last breath telling him how much you hate him and he will only guffaw. The question you have is silly, obscene even. But you must know. You must know to determine what your next steps will be.

"Will you ever let me go?"

He stops less than a foot away from you, smiling. It's a horrid expression to look back at, lips curled back, eyes widened to the point of being disturbing to gaze upon. He tilts his head the same way he always does, fingers curled around the wooden handle. The irises of his eyes slowly glaze over, red replaced with an iridescent white. He crouches down, lifting your chin with the blunt end of his knife.

"There is not a place you will go where I will not find you, my sea. If there were a chance you'd attempt to get away, I will only appear by your side again and again and again," he pressed his cheek against yours, a low hum. "Why would you want to leave me? You can have anything you desire when you stay."

When. Not if.

"And if I am to die?"

"Oh no," he moves away from you, bottom lip poking out, hand cupping your face. His knife is steady as he rubs his thumb against your cheek. "Your soul is mine. If you die, I will only find you again. Why do through the torture of us doing this all over, when you can just accept it as it is?"

"You've waited hundreds–"

He sighs loudly, "And I will wait more. I will not die. And as long as I am here, you will be. That is just how the fates decide."

He hooks his arm beneath yours, lifting you with ease. "Now let us go home. The others are waiting for you."

His warm lips press against your forehead. Your eyes are wide open as he pushes the bodies to the slide. The blood staining his clothing soaks into yours. He doesn't seem to care though, humming that eerily familiar tune again. It is the opposite of comforting. But you let your body relax in his arms.

You let him take you back home.

 ---

tags: @revehosh @mrcarrots @belletiny @sansblkgirlfriend @hwadump @honeyedtalisman @atzcoke @glitterhongjoong @whatudowhennooneseesyou @marievllr-abg @arkive78 @dysftopia @kpopnightingale @wxnderingthoughts @jenniee-tm @hongshines @atinytease @multidreams-and-desires @yla-aira @wommypeaches @avantalem @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @toxicccred @xciiiomwliah @madelinelina @kirooz @a-tiny-teez @tenebrisirae @ageofjade @n0v4t33z @yoongiigolden @jonghoharibo @fl0r4f4wn @gh0stbish @kodsukein @vitrealislux @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @spiderrenjunfics @aeoliannie​ @tannie13 @leeknowsalot @xshansimsx @seojonneh @shingene @justconniez @mingi-banana @anushka-k @nightmarej1n @watamotee33 @dear-dreamie @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest @jaxavance @malyxsoulpersonal @az-con @charreddonuts @beautysirens @sunukissed @lixpixstix

[soobnny]

summer strike — hyunjin (teaser)

trope. strangers to lovers. comfort fic. found family. heavily inspired by the kdrama

synopsis. having had enough of your life in the big city, you head to a small town where you meet a local librarian who feels a lot like love

estimated word count. 23k words

release date. next week

warnings. drinking alcohol, curse words, mentions of feeling so alone, more to add

taglist. send an ask if u wanna be tagged when it drops :)

note. i’m so so excited for this one so i hope you’ll look forward to reading it !!

“Do you… repair all the books yourself?” You ask, looking down at the multitude of pages he’s tending to and the stack of books waiting to be repaired in a trolley parked at the side of his table.

“Yes.” He smiles upon answering, and it’s one that radiates pride in the work he does.

Your lips quaver slightly, trying to find words to say to him. You wonder if it’d be okay with him if you wanted to help out. The work looks interesting, and a little soothing. Would that make him uncomfortable?

Fiddling with the ends of your shirt, you stab your hesitance straight in the chest. “Can I try too?”

His mouth falls agape, and then he’s nodding his head, gesturing for you to take the seat adjacent to him. Hyunjin grabs an extra spatula, passing it to you before smiling shyly down at the books and pages.

“You take the spatula, and spread the glue evenly.” Hyunjin looks up at you before grabbing a page and his own spatula so you can mimic his gestures. “Then, you place the page at its original location.”

He closes up the book he’s working on, patting down at the spine so the glue sticks well. “That’s it.”

“Oh.” You look at his work with fascination, smiling as he sets the book aside. “You’re kind of like a doctor. It’s like you’re applying medicine to the books.”

He grins at your words, eyes averting from your eye contact as he shyly grins. You know he has pure love for what he does, and it warms your heart. It’s a sentiment you wish you had for your job back then.

“I think…” You fix your gaze to your hands that are propped on the table, intertwining your fingers together. “I’m in love.”

Hyunjin’s inability to look you in the eyes seem to falter the moment you speak. His mouth falls back into an ‘o’, and the tip of his ears are awfully red.

“Wait, sorry. What I mean is… I think I’m in love with the process of fixing up old things.” With slightly widened eyes, you gesture at the book he had just fixed cartoonishly, chewing on your lips a little embarrassedly.

The boy in front of you nods, fingers pausing over his task; you turn to look at him, and you’re relieved to see his smile returning.

“I see.” He chuckles, grabbing onto the pages that still need to be glued and grouping them together, tapping them lightly on the table so they align.

“Let me help you.” You reach out to the remaining pages, and Hyunjin looks at you with an expression you don’t quite recognize, but you know has no ill-intent. He always looks this way. Always natural, never forced.

As you quietly work on the task, Hyunjin can’t stop himself from looking at you from time to time. He thinks it’s to monitor your work, but does that excuse the way he stares at the small smile tugging on your lips?

“Has anyone told you how you resemble Aphrodite?”

“Me?” He asks, eyes darting you and the book he’s working on. You grin at him, nodding your head.

“Yes. Goddess of Beauty in Greek Mythology. You know her, right?”

“I do.” He smiles back easily, willing the blush that’s obviously creeping on his cheeks away.

“When I first met you, that character came to mind.” You mumble as you stare at the page in your hands, furrowing your eyebrows as you try to match it to its proper book. You pause, catching yourself before you can misplace the page, and Hyunjin looks up at the sudden silence.

“Which one was this again?” Sheepish. You think you’ve embarrassed yourself more times than none in this library.

You don’t notice Hyunjin leaving his seat, sauntering over to where you’re seated so he can peer at the page and at the books in front of you. “May I?”

His tone is kind, and it didn’t seem as if he were upset that you didn’t know where to put the page. On the contrary, he made you feel as if it was okay that you didn’t know. Quick to reassure.

“I don’t memorize all of these either. I only remember the names and places in the books, and I like drawing to keep an imagine of them in my head too..” He’s arranging the pages now, putting the corresponding paper atop the book they belong to. “Why don’t you try this one?” The way he says it is so full of expectation, leaning down to hand you a page and you can only smile up at him.

“I’ll give it a try.” You sputter out for words to say, taking the page from him gratefully.

Seungmin watches from a distance, lifting an eyebrow in curiosity as he observes his usually quiet friend speak more words than usual. Though, the observation makes his heartstrings contract.

It goes on like this for a while, silence engulfing the pair of you as you worked to repair the books together. Hyunjin showed no signs of you being a bother to him, even reaching out to help most of the time—appreciative of your time. No sound follows, just the beating of your hearts and the rustling of paper.

[mrsbsmooth]

Looking for my chaptered fics? Click here Want to sort by character? Click here

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Delicate - Angie / OC - Paramedic Catalina wants to set Angie up with Talia. But seeing them together is making her feel... weird. (3.6k+)

De-finn-itely - Finn / MC - A rewrite of the 'note' scene from Season 9 (All Stars) leading to 'being with' Finn to make things make more sense (5.2k)

Her Cupid's Bow - Gary / OC - Gary and Mads have been best friends since they were 11. Now they're stuck up a tree, and it's getting really cold. Oops. (4.7k+)

Let's go - Angie / MC - Angie thinks she and Siobhan are just friends. But it's the heartrate challenge, and Shiv's not dancing for the boys. (1k+)

Ruin Our Friendship- Chelsea / MC - Chelsea's got a crush, and it's not on Elijah (1.8k+)

See you soon - Tim / MC - Tim and Mia have to decide which one of them will leave the island for good. It sure is lucky they're just friends, and there are no feelings involved. (1.5k)

Whistle For the Choir - Seb / MC - The boat party rewrite where Seb gets what he wanted all along. (10k+)

Beauty Lies in the Eye - Seb & Nicky - Seb and Nicky fall for the same girl. (2k+)

The Boys go on a trip - Lucas / Noah, Gary / Bobby / Rocco / Tai / Henrik - Lucas, Noah & others go camping, and take drugs for a new experience. Wow, does this get gay fast. (5.5k+)

Dylan's Redemption - General- After Love Island, Dylan's reputation is shot. His family's being targeted, and he needs to clean up his image. Luckily, an anonymous helper has a solution - Love (and Respect) Island University. (5.5k+)

Hook, Line, and Sinker - Graham / Marisol - Scheming Graham's perspective of Casa Amor (2.5k+)

Part of Your World - General - Seb gets trapped in the Disneyverse (5k+)

Touch nothing but the lamp - Bobby / Lottie - Bobby & Lottie swap bodies and shit gets real weird. There's magic involved. Oh boy. (5k+)

Black Forest Gâteau - Jake / MC - Ali shows up at Jake's restaurant after Love Island. He's devastated because he told her he loved her and she turned him down. She did turn him down... right? (2.8k+)

Four Seconds - Bobby / OC - Lucas is Bree's soulmate, or is he? (2.3k+)

Hearts Awakened, Live Alive - Lucas/OC - K-Pop Idol Lucas gets swarmed by fans and needs help. (6.3k+)

I could see this view a hundred times - Tim / MC - Tim's been hiding something from Catarina (5.4k+)

If you like Piña Coladas - Graham / OC - Graham's feeling stuck in a rut. Meets a girl online that makes him feel alive again. Only problem is, he's already got a girl at home. (3k+)

if you want one of us - Lewie / MC - Mistaken identity - it was an accident - God, what will Ally say? (6.7k+)

The Man from the Jungle - Henrik / OC - Henrik is Tarzan, with a twist. (2.5k+)

Sex on the Beach - Bruno / OC - Bruno drinks in 'Never Have I Ever'. Here's that story. (2.5k+)

Shut Up - Hamish / MC - Sadie and Hamish had a 'something' before she left for Casa Amor. So when she comes back hand in hand with his best friend… (2.8k+)

Villa full of snakes - Hamish / MC - The fallout of Hamish giving MC the necklace if she's also on a Marshall route. (>1k)

*Note: Mostly angst. Always a happy ending.

Chanel Paris-Biarritz - Youcef / MC - Chloe reminds him too much of his ex. He already knows it'll hurt. But loving her from afar is worse. (2k+)

He had to know - Lucas / OC - Lucas knocks a girl up and walks away. But something keeps pulling him back. (3.2k+)

This Time I’m Serious(ly Angsty) - Bruno / MC - The original Chapters of TTIS (14k+)

But not quite - Jake / OC - Jake is her best friend's brother. Mandy's been gone for nine years, though. Surely she's over her crush by now. (5.1k+)

Carry On- Roberto / MC - Pilot Roberto fake dating at the airport (5.4k+)

Every minute - Lewie / MC - how Lewie really would've reacted if Siobhan showed up at the stick or twist ceremony (1k+)

For a Minute - Oliver / MC - Oliver sticks up for Ellie after Dylangate. (2.5k+)

Oh, Paw-lease - Andy / OC - Cass is having a day, and the fact that the hot vet gets to witness every bit of it? Great. Just great. (4.9k+)

Shoot Your Shot - Lewie / MC - He sees her in the crowd, she makes quite the impression. Will he ever find her? (4.2k+)

The colour that you are - Rocco / OC - His aura is a mess. Luckily, Freya can see that. (3.1k+)

Three in the morning - Bobby / OC - Pretty nurse meets cute catering guy. He's determined to win her over. Damn. She kind of wants to let him. (3.5k)

Cabernet Sauvignon - Jake / Talia / MC - Jake comes for a visit. Talia and Zoe decide he needs a new experience. It backfires. (4.3k)

Customer Service - Marshall / MC - Marshall's dream car pulls into the garage. His dream girl is in it. (6.4k+)

Dasvid Anya- Finn / MC - Finn's exhibitionist kink that Anya's only too happy to indulge. (1.5k+)

Electromagnetic - Carl / OC - Carl's a Star Trek captain, and likes to experiment with the holodeck. (3k+)

Everything else is enthusiasm - Tom / MC - Tom's a little nervous about his first time with Felicity... but it turns out, he's got no reason to be. (2.1k+)

Filthy - Andy/Hamish/Marshall / MC - Alexis hasn’t found what she’s looking for in the villa. Maybe Casa will be… more her speed. (8.8k+)

Finn-ish- Finn / MC - Keira gets the shower scene we all deserved (2.4k)

FINNOCENT - Finn / MC - Finn sticks up for Erin after Alfie cheats on her. Then, it's time for sexy, sexy revenge. (3k+)

Follow your instincts - Tai / OC - Rugby coach Tai is having a crisis of confidence. He needs to do things his way. Luckily, one of the referees is happy to reassure him - he's got good instincts. (3.1k)

The French Connection - Bruno / MC - Bruno's got a French lingerie model for a roommate and it goes exactly as you'd expect. (10.5k+)

He was sure - Oliver / MC - Oliver doesn't rush into making things physical. But when he's ready, he's... ready. (2.5k+)

IGFBSGITMPAAIGWTFWAM - Finn / MC - Saoirse's got a front row spot and she'll do anything to keep it. (1.5k+)

if I get burned, at least we were electrified - Alfie / MC - Alfie's done with walking on eggshells. He wants her, and he's going to have her. (3k+)

I just wanna love you, baby - Alex/MC Every time they'd had the opportunity to 'do bits', Alex had… done the honours. Well, now, it was his turn. (4.7k+)

Jets- Roberto / MC - Sexy pilot has an interesting idea in the hot tub (3.2k+)

Lady Grifferley's Lover - Noah / OC - Noah & Bronte are audiobook narrators. The book gets spicy. (6.8k+)

Let me be your woman - Ozzy / OC - Ozzy's celebrity fling in the dance studio (5k+)

Measure Twice, Cut Once - Alex / OC - Alex moves slowly. He's waiting for the right girl. But what happens when he finds her? (8k+)

Men of Particular Interests - Noah / Bobby / Lucas - Noah & Lucas meet Bobby in a BDSM bar. They've finally met their match. (3k+)

Mrs Robinson - Felix / Dylan's Mum - It's his lucky day. (4.5k+)

Repetition. - Jake / OC - Professor Wilson is trying to grade papers, but Adriana's got something else in mind (1.7k+)

Tom's Game - Tom / Priya - Nasty, privileged fuckboy Tom meets his match in the villa. (3.5k+)

[sterek-su]

My 2022 top Fanfics. A silly little thing but these are the fics I found myself coming back to time and time again.

This is your home. These are your people. [T] 21k - Oases (Steve/Eddie) “Your heart’s racing,” Steve noted, quietly. Eddie laughed. It was more of a shaky exhale, lashes fluttering as he struggled to keep his composure. “Stevie,” he whispered, fingers cradling Steve’s side like he was precious. “Yeah, no fucking shit.” OR: Ma Henderson & Wayne Munson get cosy, Dustin makes an off-hand remark, and Steve spirals. It works out in the end. A special little shout out to Rionaa for getting me hooked on this one and helping me discover Oases. One of the first podficcers in this community I found.

Paradise by the dashboard light. [T] 154k - Oases (Steve/Eddie) Things were weird in Hawkins. The fields were rotting, there was something in the woods, and Steve Harrington's Beemer had a new problem every week.

The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that its you [E] 34k - greatunironic (Steve/Eddie) Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth.

Wouldn’t it be nice (if we could wake up) [E] 130k - kissesforcas (Steve/Eddie) Steve finds his pulse. He carries Eddie out of the Upside Down, he keeps his heart beating until they get to the hospital. And then the government intervenes, that shady part of the government? With Sullivan? And he and Eddie wind up locked up, together, in a cell. There's one bed, and glass walls, and it turns out that he and Eddie? Might need each other more than either of them thought they might.

What love is [T] 23k - kissesforcas (Steve/Eddie) Steve is incapable of not taking care of the people he cares about. And against all odds, he cares about Eddie. Eddie has never been taken care of. Not like that. Or: Eddie & Steve fall in love, before Christmas but not too fast.

Steve Harrington’s unwilling time loop saga (Series) - badpancake (Steve/Eddie) A series following Steve Harrington as he unknowingly, unwillingly, loops time to save the ones he loves (and maybe realises that he can ask for help, is deserving of love, before, after, and during). 1. The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting. [NA] 41k When anything and everything goes wrong in 1986, Steve realises that he can fix things, and maybe falls in love, along the way. 2. Steve Harrington's Deaths (And The Times He Maybe Saved The World). [NA] 38k After the events of '86, after everything has settled down, and everything is calm, people start to remember. The pieces start to slot together, and nobody likes the picture it creates.

Blooms of the darkest garden [T] 12k - tminuseternity (Steve/Eddie)) Steve is going to die. And because this is Hawkins, a town with an alternate dimension right up its asscrack, he isn't going to die in a normal way. No, instead he's going to die because he can't stop coughing up the most disgusting combination of Upside Down gunk and...flower petals? What the fuck is happening to him?

If I stare too long [E] 191k- Brawls (Brawlite) & Toastranger (Steve/Billy/Eddie) After the end of the world, Billy Hargrove is a mess. But at least he has company.

Paper rings [E] 9k- mediwitch3 (Steve/Billy) Dustin bets Steve he can't get a date for Mike's wedding. AKA the What's Your Number au nobody asked for

Nightcall [T] 6k - pprfaith (Steve&Billy) Billy expects to roll into town and fuck shit up, hurt himself and others, make something bleed. He doesn't expect Stevie Harrington.

We Slip And Slide [NR] 6k - CallieB (Steve/Billy) Pure indulgent post-S3 fluff, including but not limited to the discussed concepts of: - Billy moving in with Joyce - The Jonathan/Billy friendship we all need - Grouchy Hopper - Jonathan and Billy smoking weed together and arguing about music. Because punk and metal are two different things. BUT they unite against Steve’s taste - Robin and Jonathan being excellent wing-persons - Hop and Billy teaming up against Mike to protect El - Shovel talks all round - Robin being clever and eating popcorn - The you rule/you suck board

[profoundbondfanfic]

Signal Transfer

Signal Transfer by TessEtc (@tessetc) Rating: Teen Word Count: 23k

“Spare me your contempt, Castiel, self-hating angel of Thursday. Do you know what every other version of you did? They did what they were told.” That's a lie, James thinks, watching through Cas' eyes. All his life, James Novak has been able to see every version of himself across the whole of Chuck's multiverse. Every Jimmy, every Castiel. Every fight and every moment with every Dean. From Apocalypse World to the Bad Place, to Earth 2 with its two moons, James has witnessed everything, felt everything. He's always kept his knowledge to himself. But now, Chuck is destroying worlds, and there may be nobody left to listen.

This fic is such a trip. We start out with James (decidedly not Jimmy Novak), who can view - but not influence - every version of himself in the multiverse. 

If you’re confused in the very beginning (I was too), I heartily encourage you to stick with this story. Tess does a fabulous job keeping differentiating between the different characters and timelines by using unique names for James/Jimmy/Castiel and clear headers announcing the year for the next section instead of plain page breaks.

This story is set up as a kind of mystery. At the start, James is admitted into a mental hospital because he murdered his old college roommate, Chuck Shurley. However, as he meets with his doctor, he learns that there is no record of Chuck Shurley existing at all in his world.

And then all records of James’s husband, Dean, disappear too.

James is a very compelling narrator, at times sympathetic, sarcastic, and with a tragic backstory to boot. Moreover, it’s such a thrill to find the Dean and Cas interspersed among James’s observations on all the other versions. He doesn’t give them much more weight than Huntercorp!Destiel or the Jimmy that lives on a planet with two moons, and it feels like the best inside joke with the writer.

Just a note about the MCD: there is a happy ending. Death is not always the end!

[ggukkiereads]

Fic Recs | Sports AU, Jock AU - Jungkook

This is based on this ask by sports anon. I didn’t include gamer!aus or SMAUs.  Sports categories:

⚾ 🏀 🎳 🥊 📢  🏈 🎾 🏑 ⚽ 🏐 🏎 🏊‍♀️ ⚡

Thank you dear authors for sharing these fics! 🥰  Please note that the fics are NOT mine. Please show these authors love by reblogging their fics, giving them feedback, and engaging in any positive interaction you can think of! 🥰

S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst | 

Note: if link to fic doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist.

🌹 a total of 56 fics 🌹 👀(I swear I didn’t realize I’ve read a lot of sports au)

💖Unclassified

Pretty Boy @angelguk​​​ - drabbles series [7/?] | 8.7k, so far | jock!jaykay x bestfriend | F, S, A  

⚾ Baseball

Ace @hijoonie - one shot | 24k | athlete, artist au | F, S, A  

Break the Bat + sequel @httpjungkookcom​ - two shot | 13.4k | baseball player JK x coach’s daughter, pwp | S, F

The devil’s change up @jungblue - one shot | 41.3k | College AU | S, F (Who doesn’t know this fic? I feel like I’ve included all of their works in every list 🥰) 

🏀 Basketball

Instant Gratification @dovechim​​ - series [3/3 + drabble] | 43.7k | fwb AU,  cheerleader!reader | S, A, F 

I Don't Like a Gold Rush @candlewaxandp0lar0ids - one shot | 17.3k | College AU, Shy Girl, Fratboy AU, Slice of Life | F 

Opposites Attract @bangtaninink​​ - drabble | 2.3k | English major!reader x Vice Captain!JK | F  

Unexpected Confession @sunkissedjk​​ - one shot | 5.7k | high school AU, neighbors AU | F 

You Know Better Than That @diorpieck​ - one shot | 15.3k | jock x nerd!reader pairing, bestfriend AU, Idiots to Lovers | F, S, A [if this looks familiar, it’s an old fic by joonglows]

🎳 Bowling

Mind in the Gutter @kpopfanfictrash​​ - one shot | 18k | not really a professional bowler, IT!Jungkook, workplace AU | S, F, Humor

🥊 Boxing, MMA Fighter

Animal @cutaepatootie​​ - series [9/9] | 115.6k | storytelling of the past by present Jungkook, drama | A, F, S 😭

Bruised (ongoing) @acc3ssdenied​​ - series [6/?] | 20.7k, so far | bad boy AU, tattooed!jungkook, underground boxing | A, F, S

Can’t Be Without You @ahundredtimesover​ - one shot | 30.2k | Bestfriend AU, Underground Fighter AU | A, F, S  

Down and Down @koorara​ - one shot | 12k | actually more of MMA!fighter, exes AU, teacher!reader | A, F 

Fuckboy Training @helenazbmrskai​​ - series [4/5] | 21.2k, so far | Uni Gym Club AU, fuckboy AU, Enemies to Lovers | S, F, A

How Many Rounds @hisunshiine​​​ - drabble | 1.9k | boxer fan, pwp, a little plot twist 😊 | S, F  

Knockout @gamerguk​​ - one shot | 4k | slice of life, sub!jk, dad!jk | S, F

Quarters @justoneday-namjoonii​​ - series [8/10] | 36.4k | drama, boxer!jk x ice skater, check warnings | A, S, F

Safety Net @pradaksj​​ - two shot [2/2] | 40k | Enemies to Friends, Roommates AU | A, F, S  

The Art of Boxing @seokiie​​ - one shot | 4k | boxing class instructor JK, pwp | S

Sucker Punch @satanssmuts​​​ - one shot | 5k | boxer who needs anger management x therapist | S

South Paw @starshapedkookie​​​ -  one shot | 30k | childhood friends, ex-bestfriends, college au, frat au, underground fighting | A, S, F (I really like the boxing scene, so exhilarating 🤗) 

Since Day One + Morning After  @joonsgalore​​​​​ - one shot + drabble | 19k + 2.2k  | boxer au, bestfriend au, tattoo artist!jungkook  | S, F   

Too Close @cutechim​​ - drabble series | 12.8k, so far | gang au, husband!jk, dilf!jk | A, F, S 

📢 Cheerleader!Jungkook

Kiss It Better @jincherie​​ - one shot | 11.7k | college AU, cheerleader!jk, pining | S, F

🏈 Rugby/Football (sports knowledge = 0; don’t get mad at me for putting them together ✌)

A Cinderella Story @suhdays - one shot | 21.2k | college au, halloween au, strangers to lovers, cinderella!au, “nerdy” reader | F, A  (I just read this!)  

As I Told You @eleventoes - one shot | 9.6k | football player x cheerleader, roommate AU, enemies to lovers, college AU | F 

Boys Like Him, Girls Like Her + You Who @hayjeon - two shot + prequel | 15.4k | bad boy AU, fuckboy AU, jock!jk, college AU | A, F, S 

Growing Pains  @rkiverse - series [2/3] | 20.1k | basketball player!reader, slice of life AU, coming of age, high school to college | F, A 

Kick in the Right Direction @xiaokoo​ - drabble series [7/7] | 6.1k | football player jungkook x mascot!reader | pure F!

Little Library Girl @kooksgalaxy - one shot | 5k | tutor x jock!jk | F, A 

Man On, Baby @just-come-baek - one shot | 13.2k | College AU | S, F

Teach Me How to Love @iamtaekooked - two shot [2/2] | 34k | enemies to lovers au, journalist reader, college AU | F, A, S 

The Prince and His Rose  @vanaera - drabble series [12/?] | 44.8k, so far | bestfriend AU, childhood friend, college AU, writer!reader | F (this is just cute & lovely 🥰)  

Try Hard @hobibliophile - two shot | 10.4k | College AU, asked to help with photography | F, S

You’re the 1 (4 Me) @luxvitae​ - one shot | 8.5k | Established Relationship | F

🎾 Tennis

30-Love @kpopisthereasonihavenolife​​ - one shot | 9.4k | high school AU, neighbors AU, JK only listens to YN | F (so wholesome 🥰)

Love Means Nothing @widowkooks  - drabble | 1.6k | rival tennis players, E2L | F

🏑 Ice Sports

Chess of Ice @jimlingss​​ - series [3/3] | 42.8k | curling!au, feat Yoonji lol, former hockey star | F, A, implied S (re-reading this 🥰) 

Cold as Ice @ughseoks​​ - one shot | 8.5k | ice hockey, enemies to lovers, teammates | A, F  

Hockey Pucks @bangtanboysboo​​ - one shot | 8.1k | college AU, flirty!kook x tsundere!reader (well towards him), mommy kink | S, F

Ice Prince + drabble @gukyi​​ - one shot | 23k | figure skating, enemies to lovers | F

Snow and Ice @/hayjeon - two shot | 24.8k | snowboarder!jk x figureskater!reader, friends with benefits AU, Olympics | S, F 

Over the Edge @/kpopfanfictrash -  sequel to Ruin the Friendship | 9k | bestfriend AU,  established relationship x argument | A, S, F

The Art of More + drabbles 01 02 03 @/kpopfanfictrash -  one shot + drabbles | 42.4k | enemies to lovers, dance team x hockey captain!jk | F, S, A  

⚽ Soccer

Chewie & Choco Boy + Loveship @rookiegukie​​​ - one shot + sequel | 22.9k| soccer captain!jk, bestfriends to lovers, bestfriends to established relationship, college AU | F, A 

End Game @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong - one shot | 12.1k | soccer player x cheerleader, fake dating AU, ex-Namjoon | F, A  

Offside @daddychims​ - series [16/?] | 40k | Sports Trainer OC x Soccer Player Jungkook who has asthma, Fuckboy AU, College AU | F, A

🏐 Volleyball

Blank Check (ongoing) @sugaxjpg​​ & @pantaemonium​​ -series [5/?] | 44.4k | fake dating AU, college AU, fratboy AU, fuckboy AU, jock!jk | F, A, eventual S (been following this fic for a year or so🥰) 

Chance Ball  @guksthighs​​ - one shot | 11k | beach volleyball AU, rivals to partners, friends to lovers | F, A, S

Set on You @bymoonchild​​ - one shot | 18k | college au, setter!jungkook, student manager!reader | F, S  

🏎Car/Racing/Drifting (uhm is this considered sports!au)

Drift  @yminie​​​ - two shot [½] | 8.9k so far | tokyodrift-inspired, street racing | A

Bitchin Rides + Sequel @gukpds​​ - two shot [2/2] | 7.2k | racer!jungkook, college AU, strangers to established relationship, jealous Koo, pwp | S, F, A

🏊‍♀️Water Sports | Lifeguard!AU

Lifeguard + The Bikini @jungshookz  - headcanon/bulleted | 16k | lifeguard AU, surfer AU, jealous Koo in the sequel | F, S (all their works = best romcom)

Stay in Your Lane @luxekook - one shot | 5.8k | enemies to lovers, swim captains, college au, noona!reader,  | S, F, crack

Chasing Butterflies @ddaenggtan - one shot | 12.8k | idiots to lovers, coffee shop AU, college AU, jock/volleyball player!reader, weeb/otaku!jk | F, S, crack (the anime references are so funny)

The Ocean and its Wind @chim-chimmie​ - one shot | 19.9k | surfer au x beach bar staff | S, F

⚡Quidditch (what do you mean it’s not a real sport?! 👀)

Do You Want Me (Dead?) @/gukyi - one shot | 11k | advice column, enemies to lovers, hogwarts au | F 

New Romantics @cupofteaguk​​ - one shot | 24k | enemies to lovers, hogwarts au, fratboy (sort of), slow burn | F, A  

Also, there are probably more great fics that I’ve probably missed and this list is definitely not exhaustive. I only included ones I’ve read but if there are new sports-related fics I haven’t read yet, apologies if I fail to include your fic. My memory for some fics are also murky and I am definitely not sporty 😅 so maybe I got the wrong sport tagged (in this case, let me know). Enjoy Jock JK! 🎯

🌷 posted: 2021 Feb 11

🌷 updated: 2021 April 19 (new fics are highlighted)

🌷 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic =)

[swissmissficrecs]

Hey! I was wondering if you have some fics related to acting! I just can't stop thinking about it!

Reply: Assuming you mean like acting on stage, film, and television, not just impersonating someone for a case. If so, here's a mix of Actor AU, reality TV and RPF.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (49K, Explicit, Johnlock) The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock’s closest friend.

Curtain Rising by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (62K, E, Johnlock) A disgraced television star is the target of a series of death threats just after a theatre production’s adaptation of The Sound of Music is announced with her as the lead. The suspect list is a mile long and growing, Rosie Watson is in the spotlight, and Sherlock might be getting too fond of his time on stage to focus on the case. With opening night approaching, can he and John figure out who wants their client dead before her final curtain rises?

Elementary, Actually by blueink3 (26K, Explicit, Johnlock) Just back from the war, 26-year-old John Watson is looking for a job. Luckily, his old buddy Mike Stamford has one in mind:   “Mike, you did not tell me this was a porno.”  

Fading Stars and Black Holes by lurikko (19K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes, known from movies A Scandal in Belgravia and Don’t Make Me Choose, comes back to acting after two years. He’s starring in a romantic comedy about two men who move in together for practical reasons and stumble into a surprising friendship. The only problem is that his co-star is John Watson, a man whom he hasn’t seen since he left their shared flat two years ago, leaving John only a note.

Forever 1895 by alexxphoenix42 (23K, E, Freebatch, Johnlock) [RPF] Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are working hard at both filming the Sherlock special, and keeping all its secrets under wraps. Somehow along the way, they stumble onto new developments that need to be kept just as private.

In His Image by daasgrrl (26K, E, Johnlock, John/Benedict) [RPF] In which a rather different John Watson returns to London, runs into an old friend, and meets someone new. As usual. When the subject of Sherlock comes up, things start getting complicated.

John Watson, Bachelor by Rayonea (188K, E, Johnlock, Others) This season, John Watson is the Bachelor. [Note: This fic was deleted. The link leads to a PDF version that someone saved and put on Google Docs. Download and save it yourself, it may disappear at any time.]

Method Act by splix (136K, E, Johnlock, Freebatch, Others) [RPF] Something very strange keeps happening at 7:35 PM.

Performance in a Leading Role by MadLori (156K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?

Sherwood by Jlocked, The_Lady_of_Purpletown (70K, E, Johnlock, John/Mary, Sheriarty) John is happily married, but after some vague fantasies he has started questioning his sexuality. In his search for answers, he is helped by an old friend from medical school, who introduces him to the work of the unusual actor H. Sherwood.

Take Two by raina_at (29K, E, Johnlock) Six years ago, Sherlock Holmes, then a promising young actor, broke John Watson's heart. When the production John is working on needs a new lead actor two weeks before press night, they turn to Sherlock to save it. Working together after six years won't be a problem. After all, both of them are professionals. And both of them have moved on. Or at least they think they have.

The A.G.R.A. Complex by SilentAuror (91K, E, Freebatch, Johnlock) [RPF] Martin Freeman wakes from a brief coma during which he dreamed the entire Sherlock series. As he recovers from his brain injuries, he has trouble distinguishing between reality and the Sherlock universe in his dream. This impacts his relationships with both Amanda, whom he cannot stop seeing as A.G.R.A., and his friend and sometime colleague Benedict, who is Sherlock to his John.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (99K, E, Johnlock) Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong?

The Game (of Love) by hum_hum_humbug (15K, T, Johnlock) When Sherlock had asked John to go undercover in The Bachelor, John knew that nothing good could come of it. He was right. Sort of.

The Mole by ChrisCalledMeSweetie (18K, Teen, Johnlock) Ten strangers — Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Martha Hudson, Molly Hooper, Jim Moriarty, Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan, Philip Anderson, Mary Morstan, and Irene Adler — must work as a team to win money on a reality TV show hosted by Mycroft Holmes. The twist? One of them is a mole, hired by the producers to sabotage the game. 

The Short Tragic Death of John Watson by Calais_Reno (49K, M, Johnlock) Thirteen years ago, Sherlock starred in a television series about an alien boy stranded on Earth. Now Molly has written a reunion episode and he's expected to join his old costars. Having had some success since playing a teenage alien, Sherlock is reluctant to reprise the role. And there's another problem no one wants to discuss: John Watson, who played his best friend, is dead.

To the Sticking Place by blueink3 (122K, E, Johnlock) Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another?

Totus Mundus Agit Histrionem by mistyzeo (42K, E, Johnlock) January, 1881: a despondent army doctor is offered a ticket to a Shakespeare play, and is instantly captivated by the fellow playing the Danish prince himself. Then there is a murder. Then they fall in love.