#33 days until it's all over for better or for worse yes you're getting these posts daily now

[nerice]

i want to finish a thing but the last time i did 4am sleeptime my body punished me for uhhhh. too long that i can take that risk again but ive finished neither the thing i was supposed to do nor the indulgent thing i did instead :(

[jermer10]

Helloo can I have the mercs taking care of a very sick gn reader?not feeling very well so some hurt comfort could help if you can! Tyyy

TF2 mercs taking care of a very sick reader

gn reader | i hope you get well soon anon! thank you for the ask :)

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout: - most likely just as sick, if not WORSE - he already can't keep his paws off you, he'll wanna smooch your sick little face until you feel better - he will bundle you up in blankets and cuddle you whilst you watch movies <33333333 - he runs out to get you a warm drink from your local cafe, tries (keyword tries) to make you your favourite warm meal - he will burn it, doesn't matter what it is, and you are forced to try and scoff down the meal - you throw up shortly after and scout just chalks it up to you getting even more sick - it's all in vein when he wakes up a couple days later feeling worse for wear and is stuck in bed with you - medic opts to take care of you - you both decline

Soldier: - he would firstly encourage you to work it off, trips to the gym, pushing you into battle - when he realizes that the respawn machine isn't fixing you, he forces you into bed rest - you play up your resistance, he pushes you further - "YOU MUST REST THIS INSTANT, CUPCAKE!" "auuughhh noooo i think you're riiiiight" - you giggle to yourself when he leaves the room - that amusement is short lived when he soon brings back some unidentifiable, viscous, black liquid in a small ceramic bowel - he says it's supposed to be soup - you throw up then and there from the stench - cooking isn't his strong suit, so he opts to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight - you graciously sleep off the illness

Pyro: - they're surprisingly good at taking care of you whilst sick - they, first of all, provide you with actual medicine, then they make you some soup and bread - you're pampered like royalty, your every little request answered by the pyro - they watch movies with you, cuddling you from behind - opting to keep their mask on, of course, to prevent the illness from spreading to them - that doesn't stop them from lifting it up slightly to peck your head as you sleep in their arms <33333 - gives you back massages, foot massages, traces their fingertips along your flesh - like i said, you are absolutely pampered. the other mercs would be shocked to see this side of them - you recover quickly!! all thanks to pyro <3

Demoman: - opts to leave you alone so that you can actually get some rest - when you do see him, he's bringing you medicine and food, giving you a quick peck on the lips, and leaving the room - it makes you a bit upset, you haven't really spent time with him in days!! :( - you wake up sometime during the night to find him curled up next to you, arms wrapped around your frame and nuzzling into you - you figure he's already going to get sick from this, so a couple of little kisses couldn't hurt - "mmm that tickles y/n...." he mumbles tiredly, giving you a squeeze - he soon wakes up, groggy and half drunk, to the feeling of you squeezing him back and peppering kisses all over his face and neck - "i missed ye too, lovey" - in his attempt to stay away from you, he ended up smothering you anyway, such is the way of demo

Heavy: - takes every precaution - growing up in the middle of russia with harsh winters that often left his sisters sick and vulnerable, with no easy access to medicine, it's a wonder that he would even let you get sick in the first place - so if you manage to, he is doing everything in his power to help you heal - he won't even let you get up to pee by yourself, you'll need him to carry you there so that you don't use your energy - well he's joking about that....partly... - absolutely refuses to have any physical intimacy with you whilst sick, he is the beating, murderous heart of the team and can't risk an illness - he still lets you know that you're loved, of course - showering you with words of love, providing you with all the care within his means <33

Engineer: - knowing engie, he would be too caught up with work to provide extensive care for you - he provides medicine, cooks you warm food, makes you warm drinks, etc - essentially the bare minimum of taking care for your sick partner - you don't mind, you know he's busy, but you still miss his warm touch and sweet words - "eenngggiiiieeeee plllleeeeaaasseeee taake caaaaree of meee" "i'm comin' darlin', just gimme a minute..." - he is NOT, in fact, 'comin'' - at least not for another hour or so because he is stuck in whatever he's working on - you are forced to drape yourself over his desk, immediately grabbing his attention, and passing out from the exhaustion - he carries you back to bed, feigning annoyance at your antics

Medic: - he's....literally a doctor - and an experimental one at that! - medic will give you plenty of different medicine, not entiiiiirely legal medicine, or medicine that has been tested in any capacity...but still medicine! - you're likely to end up more sick after letting medic take care of you - but he makes up for it! - you're petting archimedes whilst medic's cooking you a warm meal - is this what heaven feels like? - and then he feeds you another mystery pill and you're back to shitting your guts out and oh your skin is glowing! like nuclear green glowing! - yes you died from the mystery pills - but upon respawning you're....cured? - "zhe pills may need some more workzhopping!"

Sniper: - has pretty much no idea what to do - he doesn't really get sick, and when he does he does not give a shit, he will work in health and sickness - so when you're sick, he just grabs you some painkillers and tells you that you'll be alright, to take the day off, and drink some water - when he comes back from the match and you're lying in bed, pale, sweating, and shivering, he realizes that maybe you're a bit worse for wear - he consults an actual doctor, not medic, he has more common sense than that, and manages to get some advice for looking after you in this state - whilst he adores you, he can barely take care of himself, let alone you on top of that - awkwardly tries to make you feel better through cuddling and acts of service

Spy: - another merc who prefers to leave you to essentially take care of yourself giving the bare minimum to support you - he loves you, but he doesn't want to get sick and he doesn't really have the time or capacity to take care of you in a personal, meaningful way - so he will opt to giving you meds and nice foods, will occasionally kiss your head and stroke your hair, but that's the furthest he will go in terms of providing for you in this state - he will feel bad about it, often contemplating telling the other mercs to piss off and sitting with you, missing out on work to take care of his partner - he probably gives in eventually, especially if you're acting like you don't need him, it makes him want you more - will end up smothering you slightly, helping you heal whilst pampering you with kisses in a fake begrudging way

[missamyrisa2]

Hey Miss Amy, can we have a special tease for armpithursday~?

You can always have a special teaseeee ~ at least, when I get to ittt! Sorryyyy I am even further behind than usual!

Luckily when you have ticklish sensitive pittiesssss everyyy day is armpitthursday ~ particularlyyyy when I have just nudged you back into my latest contraption with a knowing smug smirk. Ahh yesss, simple and effective the way it snatches up your arms and holds them back while the padded clamps go around your ankles to keep you nice and snug on this padded chair. You seeee ~ I absolutelyyyy loveeee bouncing into a ticklish cutie's lap like this so I can love on those pittiessss. It's like, usually if I'm sitting on your lap it's to get attention from you but now it's alllll on you mhmm. And I can wigggle wiggle my nails down slowllyyy over those ensnared armssss down the curvessss down to your edgessss. Ah yes, these armpit edges. Little pitttty pittty fringes? Tickle tickle? Maybe I'll waterfall my nails on the rims while I lean in to start giving you the kissessss mmhmm. Kisssy kissy cooooo right heeereeee. How about right in the center of your pit. Yeahh? Tell me all about it now.

Now, now, you can struggle and squirm all you like. I'm still gonna get these pittiesss. How about those thumb rubs huhhh? The thumbs are so neat aren't they, alllll stubbyyy and clumsy but soooo good with how they can rubbb in circles on these underarms, just massage and massage and work out alll those lovely sounds. What's that, you want more kissiesss? You want me to just oooh I dunno, make out with your armpits? I'll bet you do, you silly pittyyyy tickleee~ but for right now it's scritchy scratchy tickles for youuuu!! That's righttttt only the finesttt spidering tickles with all my wiggly fingers. Don't try to fight it ~ that's just gonna make it worse! You can't buck me offff nopeee I'm not going anywhere and neither are your pittiessss ~ muuuah muahhh there's some kissies for youuuu ~ mmmh you can't not laugh and gasp huhhh? And my little machine isn't letting you go nooooo I'm gonna tickle your armpits and overload you with my loving kissessss until you sing me a symphony ~ Muuuah muahhh muahhh.

Ahh yes, you're soooo kissed up and pinkened in these pits aren't youuu? And you want more huhhh ~ yeahh you dooo don't lieee~ I know just what to do with a needy cutie like youuu. Look~ look look looook I have my braid tipppp. Yesss, I came equippedddd ~ my braid is looong and has this lovelyyy soft tip like a brushy brush but even better. And I can use the spiky end to poooooke and strooooke and wigggggle alll along your oversensitized pittyyy ~ good thing you're not going anywhere huhhh? ~<33

[divinesouldariax]

hey there, I'm having a shit day too so you're not alone in that

For the asks, 18 :)

much love, hope you'll feel better soon <33

Hey <3 I'm sorry you're also having a shit time, I hope it gets better for you, too!

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Listen. I know this says "one". Consider, however, I'm my own biggest fan and just picking one is impossible. In no particular order...

From chapter 24 of The Path We Walk, this whole scene, but that was too long to paste in so I'll just share this line:

“Yes, I survived the Nameless Ones, My’ratta, being taken captive by the Iron Authority, and a curse from a Betrayer God, only to drown in a bathtub,” Dorian said solemnly. “A fitting end, really. Just about as dignified as I would expect from myself.”

From chapter 5 of pick up the glass:

Their exhausted mind is half delirious and they get a little poetic. They're gilding Ashton, taking someone already beautiful and valuable and repairing them when they break with gold , with something precious. When Milo can't find any cracks left to fill, they drag over a chair and kneel in it next to Ashton's head, stroke one finger along the wide vein of gold running diagonally across their forehead. "Never really thought much about art until you came along," they whisper. "Now look at me. I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever worked on.”

From chapter 1 of the days may be long:

This kind of messy, clumsy, earnest love wasn’t something written about in books or in the songs of the bards that Dorian had seen perform when he was younger. Nobody had told him about the way that nearly dying felt cold, or that you could love a person who came from a different world without needing to understand the way they worked, or that a friend’s grief could hurt worse than a knife in your back. Being an adventurer probably was about killing dragons and casting spells and great romances sometimes. It was also about shivering by the side of the road and ruining clothes with blood and spilling mugs of overly-sweet tea and paying too much for a single room in an inn because of a desperate need for some safety and comfort. Dorian wouldn’t exchange this for the grandiosity of storybook adventure. Not for anything. Not for the world.

From Between Heartbeats:

The pounding crackles in the back of Imogen's head felt like dull lightning and thunder, but she knew it was just the beating of her own heart. It kept going, traitorous, quick quick quick, each beat feeling like they were stealing the ones that Laudna's slow heart wasn't taking.

From some flare out:

Some days, Fearne wanted nothing more than to drag all of the people she loved back to the Feywild with her, weave their spirits into the fabric of that world and keep them with her forever. Some days, she almost convinced herself that they would let her.

And finally, returning to Path, the only line that actually made me burst into tears upon writing because it hit a little too close to home:

The picnic, like all picnics with friends you were about to lose, ended much too soon.

[sopebubbles]

Chapter 9

<- master list ->

At 33 weeks, you may notice baby's kicks hurt more.

Chapter summary: Yn deals with the fallout of the recent announcement.

Warnings: little bit of hurt, some comfort. Mostly just yn in her feels.

WC: 3k

Despite their schedule becoming much more intense starting the day after your 'relationship' was confirmed, Jimin insists on you staying at his apartment while you recover, refusing to let you return to work until you feel...well, as good as you can feel at seven months pregnant. He even took a note from your doctor to your supervisor and told him not to contact you until you were better. Every night he heads straight home from practice to check on you, in addition to the messages and phone calls both he and Jeongguk send you when they have short breaks. Muster is approaching soon, and in addition to needing to perfect their two night performance, the boys have numerous photo shoots and other preparations to make before Festa begins.

"Are you sure you're ready," Jimin asks for the fifth time as you argue about returning to work the next day, the Monday following your accident.

"Yes, Jimin! I'm perfectly fine! My head doesn't even hurt. And I need to go to work while I still can," you sigh, amazed you still have a job at all.

"Fine, but you don't have to go home. Stay here tonight, and I'll drive you to work in the morning." He's been trying to get you to stop packing for the last ten minutes.

"Don't you have to go in at like, five am tomorrow?" You look at him skeptically.

"Not tomorrow. Photo shoot! We have to get beauty rest, so I don't have to show up until 8:30."

"Jimin-"

But he just pouts at you. "Please, Y/N. I'm too tired to drive you back to your apartment tonight. And what if you fall down your stairs again or worse. Please."

You groan loudly. "Fine! I'll stay," you grumble, sitting yourself down on the bed with a pout over your fading independence.

The next day you dress yourself in the outfit you were wearing when you went to the hospital, since they're the only work clothes you have with you. The ride to the HYBE building is quiet, neither of you really being morning people. You're shocked that as you enter the lobby you're instructed to attend a meeting with your boss. Jimin can see by the look on your face that this is a surprise to you, and since he's a little early he decides to go with you. You end up riding in the elevator with Hoseok, who gives Jimin an odd look when he stays in the elevator with you instead of getting off at their floor.

You try to take deep breaths to keep yourself calm in spite of what you know is coming. You've been anticipating this outcome for months, and honestly it was only a matter of time.

"I don't think I'll be in here for very long," you tell Jimin under your breath as you arrive at the door.

"I can-"

"No, please. It will be less humiliating if I go through it alone," you insist, your hand on the doorknob.

"But you shouldn't-"

"Jimin, one way or another, this was bound to happen. Just accept it." Despite your cool exterior you're terrified. Yes, you'd been expecting this. And yes, you had more help now than when you initially started to prepare yourself for this end. But it didn't make the prospect of being a new single mother and unemployed any less scary. How would you ever get back on your feet? And with a scandal like this, who in the industry would ever hire you? You give Jimin one last emotionless half smile before you turn the handle and enter the executive producer's office.

"Have a seat, Y/N," Jimin hears the man say before the door closes. Jimin stands against the wall by the door, leaning his head back and hoping you're wrong.

"You must know why you're here, Y/N," your boss says to you as you slowly walk toward the seat, tearing your eyes away from the box on a side table that has your name on it.

"I can imagine, sir," you say, trying not to sound weak even though you probably do.

"You're being fired from the company for breaching your contract by having relations with one of the idols," he explains simply.

"Yes, sir," you reply just as flatly. There's no point in arguing or denying it. Jimin said as much the other night to millions of people. Even if it was all a lie, the allegation was no less true.

"I'm really impressed that you were able to keep the secret for so long. Truly no one suspected. Even when everyone wanted to know who your baby's father was, you wouldn't tell. Two whole years…" the man sounds truly confounded at how you could have kept it hidden. Clearly he only knows the cover up and not the truth. That made sense. The company would want to keep the secret buried as deep as possible.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to...deceive anyone. I really loved my job." Your voice turns small, but you manage to keep back tears and maintain a little of your dignity.

"Listen, if it were up to me, I wouldn't care. You're great at your job, and you've always been an asset to the team, at least until recently. But it is in your contract, and it is company policy, so my hands are tied. This comes from the higher ups." At least he's honest as he tries to shift the blame to someone else.

You say nothing. You understand. You're being punished and what's more, you need to be made an example of. "Your stuff was packed up last week," he says after you remain silent, and he points to the box with your name on it.

"I suppose it's time to go then?" Truthfully, you're desperate to get out of his office so you don't have to maintain your composure anymore.

"You have fifteen minutes to exit the building, in case there's anyone you want to say goodbye to."

There isn't. A year ago, when you were on good terms with all your colleagues, you might have, but now you don't want to see their faces and hear their whispers as you go. Awkwardly you pick up the box, trying to adjust it against your bump.

Jimin is still waiting outside the office with a guilty expression on his soft features. He's quick to grab the box from you as you struggle with it.

"Did they really just fire you?" He questions after you close the door. You merely nod. "I'll try to talk to them, see if you can come back."

You shake your head. "It's over Jimin. I have to go home." You reach to take the box, but he pulls it out of your reach and perches it on his outside hip. Then he takes out his phone and sends off a quick message before shoving his phone back in his pocket and following you into the elevator.

Once you're back in the garage, Jimin walks you to his car and places your box in his trunk.

"Can you drive?" He asks calmly, standing outside the car with you.

"I'll just take a cab," you tell him.

"Nonsense. Just take my car. I'll have one of the guys drop me off at your place later and I'll drive it home." You raise your eyebrows at him, questioning if he really wants you to drive his expensive car, but he only responds by pressing the keys into your palm. "Wait," he tells you before you can walk over to the driver's side.

"Why?"

Just then the elevator dings and Jeongguk walks toward you, his makeup already done.

"What's going on? You're late," Jeongguk scolds Jimin, as if his tardiness is even a surprise.

"They just fired Y/N," Jimin informs him.

Jeongguk runs his hand through his hair, which would surely make the stylist groan. "Shit. Y/N, I'm so sorry."

You want to roll your eyes at him and remind him that you told him before the two of you hooked up that you couldn't because of the company. But it's all just too much effort and all you really want at the moment is to go home and wallow over a situation that has become so entirely out of your control.

"So, here's the thing. I want Y/N to move in with me," Jimin says suddenly.

"What?" You and Jeongguk ask in unison, both equally astonished.

"I know that sounds crazy, but Jeongguk, even you said that she shouldn't stay there. It's too small for you and the baby, and I really don't think we need to fight for the hundredth time about those stairs. Once the baby comes, it will make it easier for Jeongguk to spend time with the baby and nothing will look suspicious." It all sounds perfectly reasonable, but that doesn't make you like it.

"Why doesn't she just come live with me?" Jeongguk offers.

"Because I'm her boyfriend," Jimin counters. Jeongguk gives him an inquisitive look with one eyebrow raised, but you don't notice.

"Once again, do I get any say in this?" If you weren't so tired already you might yell.

Jimin turns to look at your face and takes a step closer. "Y/N, I know that it must feel like one more blow to your independence, but think about Mochi. Do you really want to struggle that hard just to prove a point to yourself?"

"Maybe I do!" You fire back. "God, it's like I'm just a baby oven to you or something. It's all about the baby? What about me? How much of my life are you willing to take from me?" The composure you've been holding onto by your teeth finally cracks.

Jimin sighs, feeling truly regretful for the position he's put you in. He knows deep down that if he hadn't forced his way into your life then you might still have a chance to hold on to the parts of it you loved so much. On the other hand maybe you'd be in more trouble. There's no way for him to know. He can only try to help.

His soft eyes meet yours as he rests his hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, I know it feels like you're losing a lot and I don't blame you for being upset. I don't even blame you if you hate me for it. Look, if you're really mad at me, I won't even stay there. I'll go back to the dorms and you can stay there by yourself. I just want to make sure you're safe. It isn't only about the baby."

There's something about when Jimin gazes at you like that that completely melts your will. You fucking hate it. Your shoulders slump in resignation because it's no use fighting him.

The little bastard smiles weakly at you. "Go home and pack your things, but don't work too hard, okay. There's no rush. Just be sure you have some things to take with you tonight." His hands rub into your shoulders and you almost feel soothed.

"Fine," you grumble, but let him pull you into a gentle hug and tell you everything will be alright before he lets you go.

When you arrive at your apartment you climb the stairs very carefully until you reach your door. Inside, the lonely space feels almost foreign to you. You've spent countless nights alone here in the past few years. And it isn't as if you didn't have alone time while you were at Jimin's. It's like your loneliness has painted the walls here, like the smell of it has seeped into the carpets. You wonder if the next tenants will be able to smell it. Maybe leaving won't be so hard after all. Sure, you felt bitter for losing, but when you look around at what you're giving up, it's easy to realize that it wasn't much anyway.

You're not quick to rush into packing, though. You don't have that much anyway, and you're sure you deserve a good cry first. You've been holding back for a whole hour, so as soon as you sink into your couch you let it go. There's no one to disturb anyway, no one to hear you but Mochi. When you think of the ways you're failing your child you let those tears flow too. You'd truly believed months ago that you could do this all alone, and even though you know involving the guys in your lives will be best for your baby, you can't help feeling that you're not the strong mother they need after all. But you promise to put your pride away for their sake anyway.

"I wouldn't do any of this if I didn't love you," you promise to your belly as your tears continue to fall.

You let yourself wallow on your couch until lunch time, when you finally drag yourself up to make lunch for you and Mochi, only to realize you have no fresh food in the house, most of the vegetables you had last week having spoiled in your absence. Minutes later as you're scrolling through your phone for take out to order, a knock comes to your door. Of course, Jimin didn't forget about you, having your food delivered to the apartment instead of your office. Honestly his obsessive way of caring for you might be creepy if it wasn't so touching and ultimately very helpful. He seemed to always anticipate your needs. A new wave of guilt washes over you as you realize how ungrateful you might appear to him.

After lunch you begin to pack your things away, and you are right. It doesn't take you long. Your wardrobe is small, fitting easily in your two suitcases. Your kitchen is packed away easily into a few boxes that have been sitting in one corner of your apartment for a rainy day that finally came, and you decide you'll take it with you because you know Jimin has almost nothing in his kitchen in the form of food or pots to cook it in. Lastly is your small collection of books and movies and a few knick knacks that you own. With breaks and a short nap in between so you don't tire yourself too much, you're just finishing when you receive a text from Jimin saying that they're on their way. You assume he means him and Jeongguk, so you're surprised when he arrives a little past nine with Hoseok and Taehyung too.

"What can we help with?" Taehyung offers immediately and enthusiastically, as if he isn't tired after the hours of rehearsal they had after their photo shoot.

"Um, I guess just take these down to the car," you shrug.

"This is it?" Taehyung questions, looking around and the fairly small collection of boxes. You simply nod.

"My whole wardrobe…" Hoseok starts.

"Wouldn't fit in this entire apartment," Jeongguk finishes with a shake of his head.

"No it wouldn't, Jeonggukkie," Hoseok smiles brightly.

Without a word, Jimin merely picks up your suitcases to take down to his car.

"Oh, Jimin," Hoseok says flirtatiously as Jimin's muscles flex, lifting the cases. "Oh, so strong Jimin-ah."

"Shut up, Hobi hyung," Jimin mutters, trying to hide the blush that always creeps onto his cheeks when his hyung behaves like this. It's something you've witnessed countless times, both in person and through the screen as you've watched BTS over so many years. You're secretly relieved that it's such a natural part of their interaction that you won't have to miss it.

You wait patiently as they each pick up some of your belongings and carry them down the stairs to their cars.

"Is there anything else?" Jimin asks, trying to hide the way his breathing has become labored.

You shake your head. "Just the furniture, but there's really no place for it at your apartment so I'll just have someone pick it up to be donated," you shrug.

"Are you sure? If there's something you want, I'll make room for it." Jimin's being sweet, wanting to make sure you're comfortable, but you have no particular attachment to these things and you let them go with a shake of your head.

"Are you ready to go then?" Jimin asks.

"Can I just have a minute?" You request. It sounds dumb to say you want to say goodbye to the place, so you keep that bit to yourself.

"We'll get a head start to your place," Taehyung says to Jimin and the other three boys leave you two alone. Jimin turns to leave as well, since you'll be driving your own car to his apartment but your voice stops him.

"Will you stay?" You ask quietly, reaching a hand out for his arm. Of course he nods and stands silently by your side as you look around the barren place. "I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful, Jimin. I know you're saving us. It just hurts that...this is the last thing I'll ever have that was just mine, pathetic as it is… as I am." You wrap your hands under your growing belly. "Mochi will be with us soon, and everything is going to change forever. And I'm happy and excited, but I'm nervous, too," you admit.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm saving you, Y/N. That's not why I'm doing this." He looks at the worry coloring your features and he can't fight the urge to hold you. His hug provides you with comfort you'd been needing all day long and didn't even know it. "I know that you could do this by yourself, if you had to, but I desperately want you not to have to. You deserve better than that. I'm sure it's not how you pictured your life going, and I'm not the guy you want. But I can at least try to offer you the best I can."

You want to argue, but you don't know what to say. You give him a final squeeze and shuffle out of his embrace so you can grab your purse and your keys and lead Jimin out of your apartment for the last time.

Taglist: @halesandy @burningupp-replies @lilacdreams-00 @minclangyyy @yoongiofmine @yonkimint @wholockian1 @cbgdoll @babycoffeefire @theatren3rd @bri-mal @armytwist @hwayne2294 @aurel1ia @n4mina @juju-227592 @mickmoon @yoongicenterofmyuniverse @likeshatteredrainbowglass @softforpj @chimchimsauce @arikimtanapon @outro-kook @ellesalazar @somewhereinthestarss @cscam @svgahigh @defcv28 @shydestinyyouth @bbl32 @eternally-writing-main @craftymoonchaos @chimchimmarie @sweetcheeksdna @lovelytaes-blog @mwitsmejk @cursedcursives @ncizen @elliegrace1999tvd @miffy1997 @borahae-reads @mattsunsupremacy @brit97 @heyjiminnie @natalie-rdr @lovergirl1316 @agustpark @lalisala @blueeyedlove-blog1 @ceyoongs

[poguestvff]

Used To The Cold — S. Cameron

In which Sarah Cameron comes to a realization after her girlfriend moves across the country.

taglist | main masterlist | 2.0k words

warning(s): none, fluff, i heart sarah <33

Have you ever lost something that held either so many memories or brought a sort of happiness that just warmed you immediately even at the sight of it? Most people have something like that. Such as for children when it comes to losing stuffed animals or action figures that were a source of comfort, they missed it like hell. Said children grow up and look for a new source of comfort. Some teenagers found it in weed and alchohol, others in sports. For Sarah Cameron, she grew out of the beautiful pink blanket her father had gotten her as a toddler. As she grew into a teenager, she found a new solace.

Her girlfriend.

Sarah made it very apparent to show her love to her girlfriend who, at one point, was just her best friend who she could hardly even bare to be away from. Sarah had known she'd loved Y/n before they even got together by the way Sarah had never felt claustrophobic in the friendship that she held with the other girl. She said the three words within the first six months of being with her, words she had never spoken to another being other than her family. It was a word she, personally, took seriously. For her to say it to Y/n showed the amount of trust she held within her. Trust to not feel so closed off with Y/n.

At the beginning of the relationship, Sarah was glad that not much had changed between the two of them. That Y/n let her have her space whenever she needed it without the dependent need to be together all day though it quickly became backwards. Sarah grew even more clingy to Y/n, hardly able to deal without her hands being stuck to her girlfriend like glue. Whenever they went out to lunch, Sarah played a one sided game of footsies that only brought a smile upon Y/n’s features, one of Sarah’s favorite traits about her. Sarah loved the idea of always having a person to call her own, Y/n seeming to be the one person who could bring out her newfound touchiness. Though, sometimes she pondered on whether Y/n herself was even handling it or if she just ‘put up’ with it. If she did have an indifference towards Sarah’s actions, she surely never showed her disinterest in it.

Though the last time Sarah had held on to her girlfriend felt soul crushing and gut wrenching. As the two of them stood on the creaky, wooden dock just before the ferry, Sarah felt drained. Between the amount of crying she’d done in just the past few days had been enough to make her want to sleep forever and the comfort of her girlfriends arms around her hadn’t helped that feeling. Tears held a steady stream down both of their faces though Sarah was the one who was unable to contain her sobs. People passed around them, solemn looks given to the two of them as they listened in on the sniffles and soft wails.

Y/n didn’t need to be a genius to understand that this was twice as hard for Sarah as it would be for her. Y/n was leaving, miles away that Sarah couldn’t even pin on when the next time she’d being able to hold on to her would be. All she knew was that this embrace that Y/n held on her would be the last one for months and there wasn’t a thing that would be able to make up for it between now and then.

It evoked an indescribable sort of fear within Sarah but she knew it was immutable. If Sarah could, she'd even drop her whole life within Outer Banks to follow her girlfriend across the world. There wasn't much Sarah wouldn't do and there wasn't much Y/n wouldn't do for Sarah either, including the moving date having already been pushed back a month because of Y/n's several arguments with her parents.

"I don't want you to go." sarah whispered as y/n kissed her neck. She could hear the blonde's pained and wavering voice, how affected she already was even as Y/n hadn't even stood on the boat yet.

"I know, lover." the y/h/c girl spoke in a low tone, only sarah able to hear her words of affirmation. Y/n was first to pull back, placing her hands on Sarah's cheeks. The sight of Sarah with puffy eyes and a quivering lip made y/n's heart throb and a guilty feeling blanket over her like a raising tide. "i'll visit. Every chance I get, you know I will."

"It won't be the same." she lamented. Y/n placed her lips against Sarah’s, delicately as if the blonde were made of porcelain. When Y/n's parents had called for her and Ward and Rose had called Sarah away from the dock, Sarah only seemed to want to cling further, fingers pressing further into the thin jacket Y/n worse, but their time had finally run out. Even after weeks of pretending that they had all the time in the world, like nothing could pull the two of them apart, it had happened.

The first few weeks, the whole Cameron house had known Sarah spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep and the entire Y/l/n house knew Y/n was not going to be speaking to them for a little while due to their newest decision. Both groups of parents hadn't known that pulling the duo away from one another would become such a quagmire for each of them.

When Y/n did finally decide to talk to her parents, it was usually to say she was leaving to explore the area in which she refused to get to know the first few days. With a driver license, it gave her just a bit of freedom from her parents who's impromptu decisions had still caused for a tearing in their familial relationship.

Y/n sat in her parked car, a hot beverage in hand to adjust to the cold in which she'd just stood in for five minutes. All of it for a drink that wasn't even that good in her opinion but she dealt with it. With the hand not holding the steaming drink, she opened her phone, smiling immediately at the photo of her and sarah as her background. She unlocked it, scrolling around to find Sarah's contact and setting her phone up against the dashboard. While it began to ring, Y/n situated herself to begin to drive. "Hi, Y/n/n!" Sarah shouted excitedly the second she'd answered.

At her tone of voice did Y/n laugh. The enthusiasm was no surprise but it was funny to Y/n every time. "Hi, baby." She replied, fhe smile remaining on her face as she looked towards the screen. Sarah sat at her desk, her hands under her jaw though a pencil between her fingers. She had focused all of her attention from the papers in front of her to the driver on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing?"

The sound of whizzing paper had made Y/n glance to the phone seeing a math sheet now replacing Sarah's face before she placed it back down, a frown appearing on her features. "Math."

"Didn't you just start like two days ago?" Y/n asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yes and this teacher is an absolute bitch. You're just lucky you don't start for another week. You would hate Mr. Henley."

Y/n let out an awfully dramatic gasp. "Um, hello, Mr. Henley was literally my home room teacher last year, I'll have you know. Show some respect." She said, almost missing Sarah's chagrined look as she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side here."

"Sorry, i don't believe in biases, Sar." She joked for sarah to let out a small snicker.

"So tell me, how's minnesota?" Sarah asked, trying to spark up a conversation even if the distance was the same thing she wanted to keep her mind off of.

"Oh, it's so great. So many hot people." she remarked.

"You're not funny, no one has ever found you funny." Sarah replied though unable to hold in her laugh along with her girlfriend. "I'm serious. we haven't talked much about it and i don't want to like... avoid your new life now."

Y/n sighed, looking towards the phone to see Sarah looking back down at her work in front of her. "Fine. Well, it doesn't particularly suck. The no surfing part definitely does, though, but what can you do. And the coffee here... no, its just so bad, babe. granted, i only had one, and it's in my cup holder right now but it's gross."

"My coffee making is better, right?" Sarah asked as Y/n gave a hefty nod.

"So much better, even if it is the only thing you're good at making." Y/n laughed and Sarah attempted to refuse a smile, her cheeks quivering from trying to keep it down. "But the weather dropped today, randomly. It was seventy yesterday, fifty today but i think i'm getting used to the cold."

Sarah lifted her head back to the phone, watching Y/n focus on driving, her eyes diverting on places away from the screen. Sarah but at her inner cheek, drumming her fingers against the white wood that rested under her forearms. "Used to it?" Sarah asked. She knew Y/n's move was permanent at least until she was eighteen but something about those words made it seem more realistic. She was getting used to a place that wasn't home.

Y/n hummed. "Yeah, i'm probably being dramatic. I saw a guy walking around in a tank top and shorts while i'm wearing double pair of socks right now." she grinned at her own comment though picking up on Sarah's sudden discomfort when she replied with a small 'wow'. "Lover?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Y/n asked, the car slowing to a stop at a red light.

Sarah quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Just... the work. Keep your eye on the road."

"Sarah." The blond recognized the tone of voice quickly.

"Just... I just fully realized how permanent this is. I won't see you until, what? December? That's a long time, Y/n! And, i get it, it's your home now and i can't do anything about it but—"

Y/n was quick to cut her off. "I never said this is home. Sure I live here but it's just a couple walls and a roof. It's not home, Sarah." Y/n began. "Home is you. And trust me, i've been missing home the second i got on that ferry."

Despite them having to look at one another through a glass screen the feeling—the connection between the two of them was still felt. Sarah could feel the normal warm feeling she would've gotten whenever Y/n would simply hold her hand or brush her hair over her ear. she held that much of an effect on Sarah in person and somehow even thousands of miles away.

Sarah hadn't even realized she had been staring for a total of twenty seconds until a singular tear fell down her blushing cheeks. she quickly sniffled, recomposing herself as she wiped it away. "Are you seriously making me cry right now?" She muttered with the way the atmosphere had become though relishing in the way Y/n laughed in response.

"Yes, thank you for ignoring everything i just said, lover." Y/n put the car back in drive as the light went green. Due to the steets being relatively empty in her new small town, she took the time to look back over at the phone to Sarah. "I love you."

Sarah's smile widened in thag very moment, pursing her lips before pushing them out. "I love you more."

"And don't worry. I won't get to used to it. I'll be back home, to you, before you even know it." Y/n took a small glance to the phone, enjoying Sarah's gaze that showed even with the distance put between the two of them, they'd be fine.

[its-deputy-caleb]

If you're feeling up to writing a bit of Mikey, could I please request him being an asshat to everyone and being told off by his S/O after he asks Jack if he wants to earn a dollar?

(You know the part where he says to ask Arthur about the stick up his butt?)

He's such a dickhead and I find myself telling the screen off when he does it! 😂

OR

His S/O giving him a slap and a bollocking after he kicks Cain, then they fuss over Cain and force Micah to make friends with him.

I dunno, it's up to you 😂 You could write any scenario you want, I'll still love it 😘😘

i am always up to writing for a bit of mikey (that nickname is so cute) but ngl i had no idea how to write this or put this together. I watched the clips again so i could get it accurate but i changed it bc i didn't know if u wanted a happy ending or not but i hope i delivered <33 also u asked for either and i gave u both :)

------------------------

Clemens Point was a strange place with even stranger people. After leaving valentine in a hurry it seems the entire gang was on edge and ready to blow like a stick of dynamite. It seems having to act like upstanding heartfelt citizens to the Grays and the Braithwaites has meant everyone is that aggravated and pent up.

On more than one occasion you’d seen Sadie lose it when Pearson got to pushy with chores and it seems Abigail and John couldn’t stand to have a normal conversation for five minutes before one of them broke. It wasn’t much better with Dutch and Hosea who were constantly disagreeing on the right moves for the gang, although they were much more civil about it.

You did your best to keep out of everyone’s way, to avoid the confrontation but knowing your luck you’d end up getting involved one way or another.

You were returning to camp one sweltering hot afternoon with Sadie after you finished collecting the gang’s weekly stock from the general store. You were only half listening to the hustle around the camp as you were too busy listening to Sadie tell you all about Pearson’s dear aunt Cathy. You stepped off the wagon and headed to the back to start unloading some of the supplies when the sound of Micah’s voice could be heard talking to Jack.

“How’d ya like to earn a dollar?”

His voice with thick with malice as he hunched over the wooden table. In Micah’s hands was a silver nickel that he fiddled with between his fingers, much like you’d seen of him do with his knife. Your eyes found Jack who was almost reluctant to get anywhere near the man who you knew scared him. However, being the innocent child that he was his eyes lit up at the sight of something shiny.

“A dollar? Sure.”

You carried the heavy bag of potatoes over to Pearson’s wagon as you went back for another round of supplies but you kept the boy in the corner of your eye.

“Well…go on up to old Arthur Morgan, ask him about the pole he’s got stuck up his ass and I’ll give ya a dollar.”

Micah’s face lit up in a smirk, his accent thick and his typical evil giggle falling from his mouth. He sat back on the chair, satisfied at the mischief he’s caused.

Before you could get anywhere Jack had run off to where Arthur was sitting in his tent, reading over a letter. You placed another round of ammunition into Strauss’ wagon, dropping it hastily and running as you saw Arthur walk right up to Micah with a murderous look in his eye.

“I’ll give you a dollar if you shut your—“

Arthur didn’t get to finish his insult before you stepped in front of him with a soft hand on his shoulder. You gave him a soft smile and a nod, quietly saying to your dear friend that you’d handle this.

With that you turned with your own look of anger directed to Micah. Everyone knew you loved him but they also knew you didn’t hesitate to call him out and get him to behave when you had to.

“Micah leave the damn boy alone!”

He scoffed like he wasn’t offended you didn’t defend him and instead chose to call him out. Micah’s hands came up in his signal of fake defeat as he slowly backed away from his place at the table, acting as if he was nothing more than the innocent bystander and not the one who nearly ended up on the ground with a broken nose for starting it.

You watched as Micah lingered around the edge of the camp, his eyes trained to yours as he lit a cigarette but you ignored him. Instead you walked over to Jack, smiling softly and taking his hand to lead him to the river’s edge.

“Common, why don’t we go see if we can find any beautiful rock on the sand, hmm? I’m sure your mother would love such a beautiful gift.”

-

Of course, it wasn’t more than a few days later when you ran into trouble again with Micah. You’d spent your time ignoring him mostly, instead choosing to go hunting with Charles and Arthur, practice your throwing knives with Javier and help teach Jack to read. You knew how badly it pissed Micah off to do things without him but he needed to understand that there was a way to treat people, especially with people you considered family.

You rolled up your sleeves, using your forearm to wipe the sweat from your forehead as you picked up the knife and started cutting carrots and potatoes for tonights stew.

“Are you a good boy? Yes you are! The best boy”

Your head came up to notice bill sitting against the log by the campfire, scratching under Cain’s chin and giving the energetic dog pats along the back. You couldn’t help but smile at the new addition to the gang and how happy it made you to see Bill less stressed. It seemed that having Cain made everyone feel more caring and loving.

All except Micah.

“You’re the fool that feed’s him Marion. He ain’t nothing more than a filthy mongrel and an extra mouth to feed.”

Micah had stood from his place on the opposite side of the campfire to antagonise Bill. A frustrated noise leaves you as you slam the knife down on the wooden bench, ready to storm over there and chew Micah’s ear off. You take a step forward only for Miss Grimshaw, who was working next to you, to grab your arm and stop you before you get any further.

“There is a time and a place dear, don’t make it worse.”

Of course you knew Susan was just trying to keep another argument from happening but you push past her when you see Micah inching towards Cain who had left his spot at Bill’s feet to hide by a wagon. In a split second decision you pick the knife you’re cooking with and use it like a throwing knife to get his attention. The knife swings through the air, not getting near anyone, it wasn’t like you actually wanted to stab Micah no matter how badly he could get on your nerves and watched as it got wedged into the tree behind him.

Micah’s head shot up, his foot moving away from Cain and stared dumbfounded and shocked, unused to seeing you so skilfully throw a knife but your practices paid off. You walked right into his personal space, taping your finger against his chest.

“Don’t. You. Dare”

Micah’s first response was to try and sweet-talk his way out of it like he always does but you were in no mood to deal with his slyness.

“Dare to do what sweetheart? Common now… weren’t gonna do nothin—“

Your hand came to give Micah a crisp slap across the cheek, apart of you was shocked that you’d even do such a thing but the other half of you was furious.

“Don’t underestimate for a minute that I won’t dump you right now and throw you out of camp Micah. I’m not some stranger you can sweet-talk when you get in trouble. I swear, if I see you go anywhere near Cain the knife isn’t going to hit the tree next time.”

Micah’s eyebrows shoot up in shock as you lecture him in front of almost the entire gang. Even Dutch put his book down when he heard your slap. He was lost for words, truely, having now other thought as he watched you walk away back to preparing tonights stew. He didn’t move from his place until he heard you whistle for Cain to sit by your feet, where he went and meandered off into the forest to give you space. All he knew was that he must have fucked up bad if you threatened to leave him.

-

A few hours later you’d managed to calm down, watching the sunset after Ms Grimshaw gave you the rest of the night off to relax at how pent up you were. Now sitting here you couldn’t help but feel like you may have over reacted but Micah had pushed your buttons one too many times and if Micah was going to listen to anyone it would be you. You let out a soft but hearty sigh as the tension and stress from your shoulders left with your breath. Your body relaxed against the tree and you watched the sun gently dip below the horizon.

It was well and truely dark before you heard the rustling of grass and the thud of someone sitting next to you. You thought it may have been Arthur coming to check on you but that thought died when arms wrapped around your waist and you felt Micah rest his chin on your shoulder, his stringy hair tickling your face at the gentle breeze.

“…M’ sorry…”

A very quiet and forced apology was pulled from Micah as he cuddled into you, mumbling it into your shoulder at the pain of actually having to apologise.

“Sorry won’t cut it Micah. You have to stop treating people that I care about— people that are family better.”

Micah sighs, the defeated, tired one that shows he’s willing to listen because no matter how badly he stirs up trouble, the thought of losing you is enough to have him turn his mind around.

“I know…gonna make it up to ya I promise.”

A soft and very cautious kiss is placed on your shoulder with Micah knowing he’s still not forgiven by you yet.

“You’re damn well gonna make it up to me. Firstly you’re apologising to Jack first thing tomorrow and secondly you need to pull your weight for this gang— and no I’m not talking about robbing another coach. To start you can sit on guard duty with me and you can wash my clothes.”

“I’ll just buy you new clothes”

You give Micah a death glare as you tilt your head to look at him. Instantly his teasing smirk leaves and his arms come to wrap tighter around your body, resting his hands on your stomach and intertwining your fingers.

“Alright, alright… guard duty ain’t so bad.”

You sit together for a while in a comfortable silence. All the energy from today had left you and you no longer had it in you to keep arguing. You’d hold Micah to his promise to do better but for now you leant back into his embrace and rested your head against his.

“Can I at least sleep in the tent tonight?”

You smiled softly as you hummed in contemplation just to tease him. Micah hadn’t come to sleep in your shared tent since the day he messed with Jack and both of you had missed each other despite the frustration and anger you had.

“Hmm, we’ll see.”

Micah thinks you’ve said no, panicking internally but is stopped when you turn your head and place a soft kiss to his cheek over the mark from where you’d slapped him not so long ago. It wasn’t the kiss that he wanted but he still needed to make it up to you before you gave him what he wanted.

You reached a soft hand up behind you, cradling his head and rubbing your thumb over his sore cheek.

“Is your cheek okay?”

Micah let out a gravelly noise, deep from his chest as he leaned into your hand.

“Ain’t gotta worry sweetheart, I’ve survived much worse”

You don’t get to reply when a tentative and cautious Cain makes his way over to the two of you. You pat your leg and he curls up beside you with his head resting on your leg and his tail thumbing, relaxed and happy.

Micah on the other hand was not relaxed or happy as he tensed up and moved away from the dog and you. If it wasn’t for your hand holding the back of his head he probably would’ve jumped away.

“Micah Cain isn’t going to hurt you, he just wants attention like you. See? No need to be afraid.”

To prove your point you reach a hand out and gently brush over his short, grey fur, watching as he perks up.

“I ain’t afraid!”

You would’ve believed him if you didn’t catch the waver in his voice but you knew. You knew after seeing him be spooked by the animal more than once around camp.

The hand that was still intertwined with his gently guided his hand pat Cain, letting him slowly get comfortable to him.

It took some time but finally Micah had gotten used to Cain enough to realise he was clearly not a threat. At some point Cain had moved over to Micah’s side, resting beside him as the night became later.

A yawn left you and you slowly sank into Micah’s embrace, your eyelids falling shut as you dozed, clearly exhausted.

Holding Micah to his promise was a job for tomorrow, but for now you let yourself fall asleep in his arms, the tent be damned.

[peckin-pat-marlow]

Tagged by @captain-teddy-reese

50 Questions: OC Interview

1. What’s your name?

“Howdy. I’m Patricia Marlow.”

2. Give us your full name

“...Ah fine! My middle name’s Winifred... Patricia...Winifred...Marlow.

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

“I’ve been called shorter of my names: Pat, Patsy, Patty Cake (don’t bother askin’ why.) But folks way out south west know me as “Peckin’ Pat Marlow. I shot my town’s sheriff the day after...his obstruction of justice. Gave him that kiss he wanted afterwards. And it became a habit with anyone I killed as leader of the Marlow Marauders.”

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

“Last I checked...I’m still human.”

5. Where were you born?

“I was born in a town the south west of texas. It was famous for its large lake and gold mine a few miles out. Just make sure you have ginseng and special vegetation for the snakes and lizards...I wouldn’t head there if I were you. Hasn’t rained for 13 years.”

6. I see. And that would make your age...?

“That would make me...36 years old.”

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

“What I’ve done doesn’t make me a saint, but it don’t mean I have bad morals.”

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself...

8. How would you describe your personality?

“Back before I was soft, sweet and kind..had to be for the kids, but I still held myself firm for the adults as well. When the town reared it’s ugly head...I became a different person; ruthless, vengeful, hard hearted, didn’t take shit from no person when it came to me and my gang. It take no responsibility for indirect harm because they didn’t handle circumstances better! I was willing to do whatever it takes to get vengeance not with death, but with nothin’ for ‘em left! But I couldn’t my gang be taken with me in my final moments.

But after that last score, when I suddenly found myself alive and rescued. I began to mellow out...I still had my temper and was satisfied with what I’ve accomplished, but I became more aware of how the world was changing. So I just wander the lands to keep an eye on this changing world and hope it’s for the better.”

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

“I’ve had moments where I was frustrated...but I’ve managed to maintain my composure around misbehaving kids and disrespectful adults.”

10. Do you like to read?

“Well, yeah. What kind of teacher doesn’t like to read?”

11. Favourite Colour

“I’ve grown fond of the colour black.”

12. Do you get along with others?

“Just because I get along with people doesn’t mean I like them. I do so to get the job done, and if they don’t cross me I choose them to stick close and see how things turn out.”

13. Do you have any enemies?

“Many could call me their enemy, but the one I call my nemesis won’t bother me anymore...”

14. How about friends?

“I became friends with my gang through the trust and teamwork we had for over 13 years. I’m sure they’re all fine and free. I have met other folks but I can’t call them friends just yet.”

15. Are you patient?

“I can be...When your a teacher you have to be patient to know more about situations.”

Part lll: Hypothetically...

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

“I’ll say a cougar. They’re just as vicious, independent, dexterous, with some self indulgence. They can still purr, y’know?”

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

“Which one? If it’s Gill then he’s complimenting me with sarcasm and rage since he’s still not found the loot. His generation’s gonna be diggin’ for years and won’t be the ones to find it.”

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

“I prefer their insults as criticism. But at least their words won’t mean they betray me straight away.”

19. If you could change anything about yourself...

“I can’t see me changin’ anytime soon...but I guess I gotta find somethin’ else to do without second guessin’.”

20. About your home...

“It ain’t like a manor, but It had enough space for my parents and my things...But it was so damn expensive thanks to Gill’s daddy...it got burnt down by an angry mob, along with my school, Miles’s stand and his donkey, Sally-Ann...

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21. What're your parents like?

“They were geniuses compared to the other folk in town. Both of em met in the city where they got their degree. I don’t think their families approved though, as I haven’t heard a thing about my grandparents. But they were good people using their money to buy two properties, for my home and school.

But I can’t give em that. Their last wish was to make sure I improved the head on my soldiers before they slowly died together from Diphtheria...I didn’t know they passed until Miles came to check on me.”

22. Do you have any siblings?

“None. I was an only child, thank goodness. If I had a younger baby sister, Gill would target her more than me...”

23. What's your occupation?

“I used to be a teacher in my hometown. Since I was the only women with the knowledge thanks to my parents education, I took up the role. Taught both kids and adults to read and write.”

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

“I enjoyed my job when it came to the kids. Nothin made me feel better than givin’ them somewhere to be while adults did their own thing, though I wished I could have give them more subjects, but reading and writing was more tolerable to teach than the other things that adults couldn’t make sense of. As for the adults...I won’t lie there are some worse than the children. Way worse.”

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?

“No...”

26. Married/Engaged/Other?

“I wished for that with someone once.”

27. If yes, how did you meet?

“...I met Miles Wiley when I first came to town after my parents moved. He was a vegetable farmer with a donkey he claimed was over a century old from the vegetables he ate. Many folks who can’t afford the doctor’s fee often came to him for tonics, ointments, all sorts of ailments that were reliable, especially for the gold miners who came for the juice as repellent for the lizards. Before me he was the only stranger in that town...He made me welcome even after I took over the town’s teacher and helped repair my school, only askin’ for the spiced apricots I made.

But the town found out how close we really was from our first...and last kiss. He only wanted to fix me after being broken down for so long...We tried to escape by boat, but of course Gill had his ferry and me and Miles weren’t much of a shot...He wasn’t even armed but he shot him...he shot him even as I held him.

28. Tell us your biggest secret.

“Aside from people thinkin’ I’m dead? Everyone knew about me and Miles so I got no big secret to hide.”

29. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

“After what the Sheriff did, I fear being put into that situation again where I was taken advantage of right under others noses...Then there’s being in the middle of a ring of fire.”

30. Favorite food?

“I may had made spiced apricots once upon a time but it ain’t my favourite food. I don’t have it as much as I like to...but I do miss that Pecan pie.”

30. Favorite drink?

“Spiced Island Moonshine. I just discovered this recipe and it tastes like the goods of home and warm escape. I could kiss Marcel for makin’ this but... then I’d have have to kill him.”

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

“I would have said getting revenge on Gill for killing Miles was the best thing that happened...But I never imagined letting the group go free after our last score would take that. Some graduation, huh?”

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

“Whatever is embarrassing is what happens when I’m drunk...”

33. If you didn't answer Questions 29 and/or 33, tell me why.

“I may have mellowed out from my recovery, but I have my damn pride still.”

34. Is that a good reason?

“Just take it as you will...”

Part V: Closing

35. Are you satisfied with your life?

“I felt like my life was nearly wasted than satisfied. I loved Miles but I wasted my life in that town. I remembered my gang more fondly than the town. But I’m still young to do somethin’.”

36. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

“Well my vengeance has been achieved and leading a gang is something to tick off. I’m gonna start looking for things as Patricia Marlow and not Peckin’ Pat.”

37. Any hobbies?

“I have developed a thing for watching shows in the theatre, and I used to play the banjo to sing songs with kids. I’m sure I haven’t gone too rusty.”

38. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me...

“I wish Miles was alive....That’s the one thing I can’t have back.”

39. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us...Folk wouldn’t have approved of us, but...we’d be more free if we got out together.”

40. Have you been honest with these questions?

“That I have...Now that you know me it’s all about what u gonna do?”

41. Your personal quote?

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

42. Do you like change?

“It’s what I fought for when things didn’t change enough...”

43. What's your most valued possession?

“Since they burned Miles’s body, I wasn’t left with much to remember him. It was a good thing I found his hat after I left town, but I haven’t taken it out of my satchel since.”

44. Anything else you feel like sharing?

“Not right now, I ain’t.”

50. Last question!...yup, that's it! How do you feel?

“Like a few pounds has been lifted off my shoulders. Or it might just be one of my firearms...Haha! Don’t worry, I just gotta reload.”

[theoutermenace1986]

I know I said that I would keep this as spoiler free as I possibly could....but I really can't help it in this case.

Endgame wrecked me.

It wrecked me in a lot of ways, but one particular way literally caused me to break down to the point of clinging to my best friend and openly sobbing.

You may think to yourself "Why is some 33 something nerd crying over a fictional character?"

Because Tony Stark was the hero I needed during one of the darkest moments of my life. And Robert Downey Jr - both in portrayal and in his own personal life - actually helped me pull through.

I had suffered some trauma in my youth that never really went away. I'd always been brought up strong, independent, and able to resolve things on my own. I have loving parents, a great sister, and a handful of close friends.

That didn't stop the bullying from my peers from making me feel ugly and worthless.

That didn't stop teachers from telling me I wasn't going anywhere because I was willing to question.

I had people telling me I couldn't - so I did out of spite.

College came. Relationships happened. Adulthood hit. And even when you think that you have it great - that's not always the case. Sometimes shit just happens.

Depression got worse. I felt like I burdened people by talking about my problems, so I clammed up. I started smoking more (mainly in social situations, but still...going through a pack of cloves within a few days isn't a good thing). And when the smoking failed, I turned to alcohol.

I. Hit. Rock. Bottom.

I would go out and just drink to forget everything. Even the good stuff. I just wanted to be numb for a while. And for a while, it felt great.

Until I realized the toll it had on my friends - namely my best friend.

She noticed the self destructive patterns and started getting on my case. I insisted I was fine even when I wasn't. The final straw was when I was so drunk that I couldn't even get into the house. Barely conscious and delirious. My best friend got me into bed and woke me every 2 hours or so just to make sure I was still alive. I couldn't even remember how much I drank let alone what. She drew an ice bath and threw me in.

I was 22 at this point. Having just celebrated my birthday. April 9, 2008.

After a long talk because I admitted to my best friend that I needed help (yes. I was cognizant enough to know I needed help even when I was destroying myself from the inside out and let me tell you .... it is A TERRIBLE FEELING), she suggested finding other hobbies to take up my time as opposed to drinking myself into a stupor or worse.

And wouldn't you know it - I saw the Iron Man trailer while cruising through Facebook.

There was my boy, RDJ, looking amazing as all hell...and playing a superhero. Best of all, he was playing a personal favorite of mine - Tony Stark.

Poetic, right?

So we go to see it. Enjoyed every minute of it. We laughed. We cried. We fell in love with Tony all over again. So much that I immediately decided to get back into cosplay:

I literally built that reactor in my cave of a room with a candy tin, computer wires, electrical tape, and stainless steel coils that I had in a box from my prop making days.

My friends never let me live THAT down.

I had never felt more alive, more happy, and more myself in literally years. I was only a month off the sauce in this pic (and trust me, the next pictures I don't look quite so ill)

It's amazing what motivation will do no matter what the source.

So for the next 11 years I followed the journey. Ups and downs, losses and wins...didn't matter because my boy Tony always got out on top.

Then Endgame happened.

I called it the moment they showed his family.

I knew it was coming the moment he said he'd found the method for time travel.

I knew it the moment he looked at Peter's picture.

This was it.

And I can't tell you how much I both loved and hated the inevitable outcome of all his heroics.

On the one hand - he went out a hero. He went out the way he should have - protecting everyone he loved and ensuring a safer world for them. He was surrounded by his loved ones and mourned by all who knew him. It was impactful, it had meaning, and it was everything.

But kn the other hand- I'm angry. I'm pissed as hell that his happy ending - the one we fans have been praying for him to have - was thrown away in the most cruel and crushing way. He had a wife. He had a daughter. He had everything he'd ever wanted. But we just couldn't see him be a happy man; we couldn't see him retire and live a life that he deserved.

I wanted Tony Stark to find the same happiness I eventually did. I wanted him to find the peace I have both with myself and with my partner, my best friends, and my family.

The carpet was laid out....the torn right out from under him.

I'm normally not this bitter over a character death. We all die eventually. But I see it too often that characters like Tony - who work so hard to be the best people they can be, suffer multiple traumas, unhappiness, and stress while trying to do right - always get killed.

I'm at least glad he at least went out on his own terms.

So, thank you, Tony Stark. Thank you for being my hero. Thank you for making me fall back in love with Marvel. Thank you for saving my life.

And thank you, Robert Downey Jr, for reminding me that we can overcome even at our lowest moments. You're an icon, a legend, and you brought my hero to life in a way that changed my life for the better. I hope to see your future projects soon, but I'll miss the life, love, and dedication you brought to the MCU.

[animated-moon]

Good evening my moon!! How is the New Year going so far? I hope it is going really well because it is about to get better once a certain something is up <3333 (you will find out later my sweets)

Speaking of Demon Slayer, I will definitely be coming over for a sleepover filled with chocolate and many hours to watch it together my lovely! And I am excited to learn about the characters (especially gyomei since they seem to interest you a lot <3 )

It doesnt matter even if your pronouns are burlap/sack (which you would rock by the way my love), You will still be my moon and will not get demoted any less <3333 (this is also full permission to add some pronouns such as Tendou’s/Moon ~)

ehhhh I don’t think I did THAT GREAT- but I also could have done worse 😅 I got a 70 which isn’t so bad, but could be better (by the way, I wouldn’t ask Semi-Semi about his results cause when he got them, I kid you not, his face went 5 shades paler🧍‍♂️)

By the way, I saw some missed called from Natalia, one of your mutuals I believe. Did anything happen that I should know my brilliant confectioner?

Ohohoho, believe me I was REALLY close to finding this kid until I was reminded that I need to be available on Sunday and before to hang out with you and go to the carnival😅. Apparently Goshiki-Kun called for the reinforcements ao I couldn’t finish tracking them my little lamb😔

i- Moon how are you going to doubt me winning cute stuffed animals and sweets for you when I have won multiple on our carnival double date with Cel and Wakatoshi-Kun🧍‍♂️It doesn’t matter what carnival it is, I will always make sure I win many prizes for you my paradise <333

Stay on the Lookout for a post by me later my Tendou💜💜💜

tw suggestive ?? under cut and also explaining whatever that tendou shenanigan was

MY DEAR TORI YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME

okay so may wanted to execute you because i said "i dont care who killed who" about someone in demon slayer bcus this character killed this other character who i really liked but i didnt really give a damn. and then after that she said "you have to admit i have a big dick and that i'm the best" and i was too busy laughing and she said "tiktok times up" and then you DIED BY BIG BOOTY MAN OR SOMETHING- AND THEN AFTER THAT SHE MADE A PICTURE OF YOU DURING YOUR FUNERAL SLAYING LIKE A BAD BITCH

anyways yes <3 that's all that happened <3 normal things <3

okay now onto the ask :

NEW YEARS HAS BEEN AMAZING !! we had hotpot and I got to eat ricecakes (oh my gosh I will NEVER get sick of ricecakes tell you)! ALSO BABE :(((( I SAW THE POST AND GOSHURGJIOSDRJG YOU'RE SO SWEET ! i hope you know that I am equally glad to have you :((((( <33 (also also, yes <3 tendou's moon I am)

GYOMEI YES <3 my ultimate favourites are still tengen and shinobu though! shinobu is so so darn pretty and skilled and amazing and I don't even know where to start for tengen <3

70 IS GOOD, LOVE!! believe me, compared to the 7/100 that I once got, it's super good </3 and now that you mention it....... i really wanna go ask semisemi about his grades >:)

nono <3 nothing happened <3 no need to worry :)

HAHAHHA MY SWEETS!! there's no need to go around finding that kid anymore <3 he might've finally gotten the hint and left me alone (at last, gosh. i was gonna faint out of frustration)

:( BAAAABE :(( you're making me soft and you have no right to (you actually have all rights to, I'm handing all my rights to you at this point). one day I'll win you something too !! just you wait >:)) I've been getting the hang of claw machines >:)))

BUT HOW ARE YOU BABE ?? HOW'S NEW YEARS GOING FOR MY AMAZING, BRILLIANT HUSBAND? (sometimes I accidentally call you boyfriend in my mind,, as if we arent married smh </3)