#tf2 fanfiction

[tf2rivalsinespionagecomicupdates]

Issue 1, Pages 36, 37, 38, 39, and 40

And with that, Issue 1 is complete! I hope you all like how it ended and hopefully it gets you excited for what I have planned in the future!

[feralrabidcrow]

Mercs with Access to Internet

Scout: He would be a content creator who just makes whatever he feels like without any consistency. His uploads would be like:

Rooftop Parkour

Pokemon Smash or Pass

I Made A Mistake. (Addressing the Pokemon Video Controversy)

Tom Jones Songs Tierlist

Minecraft Let's Play

Soldier: He makes political rant videos but no one can figure out what his actual political opinions or leanings are. He just kind of spews buzzwords and 'America' a lot while sounding very passionate. A bunch of people assume he's a parody account making fun of actual political rant channels but no it's just Soldier being Soldier.

Pyro: They make TikTok dance videos. In every single video something in the background is on fire. Occasionally you'll hear "Damnit, damnit damnit!" and see Engineer rush in with a fire extinguisher.

Demo: He makes one video tutorial on how to make a pipe bomb, gets all his accounts suspended, and ends up on a hundred different lists.

Engineer: He would be one of those YouTube engineers like 'Michael Reeves' or 'i did a thing' who makes horrible abominations of machinery and technology. His viewers never know whether to be impressed, horrified, or a healthy mix of both.

Heavy: He doesn't ever post anything anywhere but he likes to watch a lot of videos on guns. He also subscribes to cooking channels for new ideas.

Medic: Aggressively spreads misinformation online. Not just medical misinformation, anything. He isn't lazy about it either. He puts genuine effort into making his lies as convincing and believable as possible. He is actively trying to make people less educated. If you ask him about it he'll claim it's a social experiment but he's just doing this for his own amusement.

Sniper: All of his accounts are on private and have like 3 followers. He uses Facebook to keep in contact with his parents and that's pretty much it.

Spy: Doxxes people he disagrees with.

[ecoamerica]

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[mrsvalentinefucker1]

Another sniper redraw

[deathbyimmolation]

[koifish67]

Meeting the mercs parents

Gn reader

Note:I only did the ones with parents we’ve seen or heard about, so this is kinda short

Scout

When he calls his mom if she wants to meet you she SCREAMS she’s so excited!

The drive over he talks about growing up and what it was like.

“Mom this is my-

“OH MY GOODNESS MY BABY HAS SAID SO MUCH ABOUT YOU”

Shows you baby pictures of him and you to giggle while he sits there embarrassed.

Lots of mom hugs every time you come over

He got a decent sized family in the middle of fucking know where

Traveled for hours in the snow to get there. (Heavy carried you most of the time)

His mom and sisters love you, a lil sus of you at first but they quickly warmed up to you.

“So when’s the wedding?”

“Sooner than later”

“Huh”

His mom is so sweet oh my god

“Mama this is heavy’s lover”

“Aw hello dear!”

Teasing from his sisters

Sniper

He was excited for you to meet his parents

His parents are literally so sweet

His mom shows you around the farm while his dad and him catch up. It’s really nice.

His mom teaches you how to make desserts and shows you his baby pictures

His dad tells you stories about how he was growing up

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Heyyy love you’re work! I strive to be a good writer like yourself one day! I was thinking how would the mercs react to a goth person like myself:) it’s okay if you don’t wanna do this! Have a love day!

I think to sum it up, all of them are completely clueless and stupid but could care less.

The TF2 Mercs reacting to a reader who is goth

WARNING: stupid idiots

Scout:

- Huh… A little interested occasionally, looking up and down you while he thinks you’re not looking. Not really much of a reaction other than the typical awkward glances people give goths to admire them for a spilt second.

- Has no fucking clue what kind of style that is. It isn’t his preference for sure but it looks good on you and that’s all that matters. Bullies you for something completely unrelated to the fact you’re goth probably.

- “Hey! Nice fuckin’ shirt chucklehead! Where’d you get that one? Grandma’s couch?” He says when he sees you in a somewhat ‘conforming’ outfit for once. He’s gotten so used to you wearing your usual, that he doesn’t hesitate to pick on you for not being edgy enough. It’s a pride issue for him. Normally Scout would wear stuff shamelessly and the fact you aren’t yourself right now is giving him vibes that you might have grown insecure in some way. He genuinely thinks this’ll help you. Backwards elementary school logic.

- He can’t show appreciation without being a massive fucking dickhead. It’s a certified scout L moment. At least his heart is in the right place I guess?

————————————————————————-

Solider:

- Ingeniously freaks the fuck out because he thinks you’re one of Merasmus’ weird ghost apparitions. Nearly grabs you and beats the shit out of you in fear because he owes that wizard around $200 after a grenade-down-the-toilet incident and he doesn’t want to pay. Engineer and Pyro have to pull him off you. I am literally so sorry.

- “MOTHER OF JUDAH, PRIVATE! YOU LOOK LIKE A MORTUARY ASSISTANT BATHED IN BLEACH!” He announces. You have no idea if that was a compliment or not. It’s hard to tell. Soldier then quickly assumes you’re a weird offshoot of the hippie culture and you’re here to sell him weed. Aaahh there it is. Blissful stupid ignorance.

- After promptly explaining what you are, he nods slowly. Slapping you on the back heartily. “ALRIGHT PRIVATE! You’re clear. Didn’t know there was such thing as a goth.. Hippies sure are getting creative.” Idiot. Complete moron. Still thinks you’re a weird looking hippie. Just one who won’t sell him weed nor harbor the evil tendencies of one. What are these evil tendencies he speaks of? He can’t answer you.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- Ignores you completely. You’re just another person to him with their own preferences in attire. This guy still gets stares in the supermarket for being a massive black dude. He knows what it’s like to stand out, explosively. Get it?

- Well.. At first he ignores you. But if you insist on wearing your style on the battlefield he’ll be a little impressed to say the least. Demoman likes confidence. He whistles to get your attention from the backlines and raises a drink to you. “Keep at it! Show ‘em with your damned fangs! Maul those wee willy fucks straight to the—“ He gets hit by a train mid taunt. You stare blankly at the sight. Deadass no clue how to respond. You’re in awe at his lack of self preservation for one thing.

- Demoman is in the kitchen that night drinking god knows what brand of alcohol this time. He sees you and goes “AAAYY! There’s that crazy son of a betch wit’ the victorian thing goin on. Cheers to you.” He compliments. It’s not a heckle. It’s genuine admiration for your shamelessness. Being weird in that way is the easiest way to get on his good side.

——————————————————————-

Engineer:

- No response. Much like Demoman’s lack of response. Looks at you for maybe two seconds then looks away to avert any suspicions he’s trying to be rude. Calls you stupid nicknames like ‘ghost getter’ and “Weirdest display of caltholicsm he’s ever seen.’ …. Wait a second that last one wasn’t a nickname.

- You’ll rarely get any comments about the matter to him. He’s too busy with other stuff to make fun of something so particular. Especially something that doesn’t concern him. (Not to say he doesn’t love insulting people’s looks from time to time. But you’re a teammate! You’re on his side!) If you have a counterpart on the enemy team then by god he won’t hold back on the roasts. Everybody gets fuckin’ spat upon regardless of who they are. He makes fun of everybody equally.

- Asks you if his creations are nifty. For some reason he mistakes you with Steampunk full on old dad style because he’s “heard about ‘em darn tootin kids and their crazy fashion in the newspapers.” And thinks he’s somehow relating to you. That you have a common interest. You have to suppress your laugh here. Same energy as pokey-man. Cornflake’s confused but he has the spirit. The whole culture explained to him is when he starts fucking assuming you’re catholic by the way.

———————————————————-

Heavy:

- Concerned at first. “Who in your family is died..?” He asks after awkward silence on the bench. He has his eyebrow raised in intrigue. “Was it murder? Heavy will crush them for you.” He offers. He had good experiences with you beforehand so he has no reason not to offer such things. Heavy mistakes your attire for mourning attire.

- You sheepishly explain to this old dude why you were sporting full on black. Expecting a weird or strong response back. To your surprise he just shrugs and looks away again with a gruff “Hm.”

- He then looks at you again after a few more minutes and sluggishly asks you a barrage of typical old man questions when they don’t understand something dark and gritty. “So do you live in a big haunted mansion?” “Do you have some pet bats? Do you like scary music?” “What do you do as a hobby when you’re this?” And other things in broken english. Each answer seems to get through to him and make him either nod or shrug. He’s very cooperative and trying to understand. Seems to not like the idea of himself sporting such things and feels the need to mention that to you for some reason. Give this guy a makeover and he’ll begrudgingly cooperate.

——————————————————————

Pyro:

- Pyro gasps childishly when he sees you. Each little spot of black or dark hue on you is showing up the direct opposite in their point of view. You have rainbow hair, rainbow everything. They think you’re a candy princess/prince/monarch that’s come on a white stallion. They’re giddy with excitement and jump up and down. Clapping their hands.

- You’re throughly confused. But you figured it was because Pyro had never seen someone wear something like this before. “It’s goth, Pyro. You like it?” You ask. Pyro glomps you. Straight up fucking hug tackles you and spins you around like an unfortunate house cat who’s just been spotted in the street by a stranger.

- You’ve become the rainbow unicorn candy ruler of all imagination and happiness and you don’t know how or why but you accept your fate. Pyro has made you a throne out of candy wrappers and you feel guilty often if you don’t use it. You got to admit a lot of unnecessary work went into that thing. Same with the crown he provided you. (It’s an actual crown made of diamonds and you don’t wanna know where they got it.)

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- You swear you just saw a shocked blush crawl across his face. But he looked away before you could take a good look behind those sunglasses of his. Sniper’s unironically attracted to the aesthetic on other people and he secretly thinks it’s a fine piece of art but isn’t willing to admit it. He always had a thing for edginess and overall darkness. Sniper listens pretty frequently to early rock on his camper’s radio and doesn’t shy away from the occasional greaser jacket.

- “Nice look, mate..” He says on one of his good days. He plays off as indifferent and nonchalant but you can tell he’s hiding his slight interest in being your friend. Every little attempt to ignore you reeks of ‘come get me.’ Sniper’s social ineptitude is just sad at this point. Eventually you just shake your head and smile lovingly and accept his stupid efforts. Your suspicions are eventually proven correct when he accepts a drink with you.

- Hyperfixates on you like you’re some sort of fucking anime character. Can’t get the way you express yourself out of his head. You’re the most colorful thing in this godforsaken desert and that says a lot because you wear black.

—————————————————————————

Medic:

- No. No. no. Anything but him. ANYTHING BUT HIM. DEAR GOD PLEASE!!

- Prepare to get bombarded by a tsunami of questions that extend into two hours. Medic cannot control his curiosity and at one point asks you multiple times if you’re a demon or something because of how excited he is. The others rarely see him act like a puppy this much. His evil autism is activated. Turn tail and run. He’s sort of bouncing on his heels. It kinda reminds you of Pyro.

- “Oohohohoho! What an extraordinary specimen! Your oddities will surely aid in my understanding of how psychology works! Here! Sign this paper that says you acknowledge any drugs I pump into you aren’t supported by the FDA!” He hands you a clipboard and bounces again wildly. His happiness is rather contagious and you blindly sign it because you’re too focused on his child like energy and how adorable it is. He’s like a teenage girl who’s seen her fucking idol for the first time. “You see our aesthetics and personal preferences for color appear quite differently from person to person and depending on how you grew up—!” He goes on a psychology rant.

—————————————————————————-

Spy:

- He’s judging you. It’s as clear as day. He’s walking around you and examining your attire with his hands behind his back. As if you were some prized show breed who was being accessed for the finals. He lifts an arm up, tsks when he sees the seams in your clothing and disappointedly glares at you. Then just straight up walks away. By far one of the weirdest responses you’ve ever gotten. But then again should you be surprised? Spy is a drama queen and all you needed to do was take one good look at him to know that.

- Next thing you know, you have an entire box full to the brim of more gothic clothes off to the side of your bed when you wake up the next day. There wasn’t any letter nor indication of who it was. Which rather indirectly told you who it was. All the clothing was super, super expensive and straight up unreachable in some way. You find it especially alarming how it’s basically an entire box of things you personally expressed wanting to the other guys but couldn’t obtain due to the price. You swore Spy wasn’t there during that time.

- Ugh.. Of course. It’s all clear to you now. He hated the state of your current clothing and to save his poor snobbish eyes he bought you an entire wardrobe of it, he even bothered making outfits folded nearly together and they made sense. Which made you hate him more.

[prettyboypistol]

Mercs reaction to safe word use?

Mers Reacting to Safeword Use! (+18)

scout

confused for a second, then realizes that you said the safeword

literally jolts back and starts rapid fire apologizing, asking what you didn't like/what he shouldn't do

would probably not want to continue the hot n heavy aspect, but would be down for lovey-dovey intimacy(be it sex or just cuddling)

soldier

literally freezes when you say it, then gets close and whispers "did i scare you?" in the most vulnerable voice you've ever heard from him as he kisses your cheeks slowly in apology over and over again

feels super guilty about it, but once you explain why you used the safeword, he's a little relieved that he didn't terrify you

kisses and hugs before going back to business!

pyro

pauses as they try to understand what you said- that word didn't sound happy... OH SHIT

lets you make the first move to them, scared that they might scare you, but their hands are up and they're clearly concerned for you.

probably too worried that the stress will cause a relapse into Pyroland, so no more sex, but you get a super loving partner to cuddle up to!

Demoman

the chillest reactor you're gonna get.

"Oh, sorry mate." and pulls away "you down to keep going or was that too much?"

He's so down to go your speed after that, but if you just want to stop a certain action and for him to keep his energy, he can absolutely do that!

Heavy

the second chillest reaction, but he assumes that you've changed your mind about sleeping with him because a lot of people reject him because of how big he is down there (and everywhere else, but that doesn't bother him really.)

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

After a little talking, you two are perfectly fine again and sharing kisses before back to having fun.

Engie

somehow worse than Scout

panics about hurting you, apologizes for being a brute and coming off demanding/not being a gentleman, he doesn't know whether to cover his face with his hands or hug you

Sadly it ends with you mostly comforting him haha, he's just worried he hurt or scared you! He's terrified of you being intimidated of him!

Spy

Third chillest reaction, mainly due to his sass factor.

He won't demean you for using the safe word, but he will crack a joke like "Oh, can't handle the heat? Alright love, we can turn it down a bit."

Doesn't check in on you, but intrinsically knows what you safeworded about due to body language and context. He doesn't make a big deal out of it- safewords are normal to him. It's not an issue

Medic

a little upset he scared you, but also upset that he couldn't go full crazy yk? Like of course you take priority, but he wasn't going to actually inject you with horse steroids!!! (maybe)

Abides by your boundaries and kisses it better

Lowkey wants to talk about it later but doesn't know how to bring it up

Sniper

the most INSECURE MF

if you safeword with sniper, he immediately disengages and pulls away out of shame and self-doubt that he can please you or have sex with you right

he apologizes and gives you comfort, but it's eating away at him inside that "he can't even fuck right"

[jermer10]

Hey, I've got a TF2 request, if you don't mind! Mercs with a s/o who accidentally falls asleep with their head on the mercs shoulder. (Very cliche, I know...) I'll let you pick who you want to write for, no pressure! PS, I think your writing is phenomenal, and I anticipate whatever you might post next!

TF2 falling asleep on their shoulder

gn reader | ahhh tysm!! this message means so much :) i decided to write for all the mercs, hope you enjoy!!!

temperatures are in celsius

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout: "Move ova'!" Scout pushed his way onto the already overcrowded couch, disregarding the protests of the other mercs. Tonight was movie night at the red base, and he would be damned if he couldn’t use this as a moment to try and get closer to you. "Hiya toots," he flirted, stretching his right arm out to rest around your shoulders. "Hi Jeremy." You smiled and rolled your eyes playfully. Scout had been crushing on you for a while, every chaste touch and every flirty interaction had culminated in something that far outweighed any feelings he once had for Pauling. The movie had long since started, and mercs were continuing to file into the living room, squishing themselves onto the lounge or plotting themselves onto the floor. He couldn't remember the genre let alone the name of the film, all Scout could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat and the feeling of uncomfortable itchiness in his throat as you cuddled into his side. An hour in and your eyes began to grow heavy, breathing slowing in tandem. Jeremy glanced down at you, his palms moist and his face flushed as he wrapped his arm around your waist, attempting to focus on the movie and not how cute you looked like that. He was definitely asking you out in the morning.

Soldier: Everyone felt hot, sweaty, and exhausted as they slugged themselves back to the blu base. The mood hung heavy, no one seemed interested in Soldier’s usual antics - all except you, of course. You feigned a smile as he ranted about team ethic and the "American spirit", some mercs scowled at the man and others mumbled profanities and sauntered off. A light breeze came in through the afternoon air, Soldier sighed in the smell of Spring. “Hey, we should sit out here for a bit,” you squeezed Jane’s arm, pulling him towards one of the wooden benches placed just outside of the entrance to base. He felt his heart swell, not only did you want to hang out with him, but any touch from you made him absolutely crazy. “AFFIRMATIVE CUPCAKE,” Soldier responded, allowing you to lead the way. You audibly sighed as you sat down, just looking at you it was obvious you were exhausted. “Better luck next time, huh?” you joked, Soldier chuckled and stared out at the afternoon sky. You sat there together for a while, until he felt a sudden, yet small pressure on his shoulder. You had fallen asleep on him, and with anyone else he would have woken them up immediately, but you looked so peaceful and….pretty in a way? Soldier glued his eyes to the afternoon sky, he could think about these feelings later, better to let you rest after a long day.

Pyro: Being friends with Pyro was exhausting in of itself, and they knew this. But they couldn't help wanting to invite you along to their errands, you were their best friend and any time spent with you was time spent well. By the end of the day, you were both well past exhausted. "You're lucky I like you so much, otherwise I would never go on an errand run with you again." You teased, slinging an arm around their shoulders as you both trotted up the stairs to the base entrance. Pyro flushed under their mask, muffling out a "Yeah, yeah whatever, you love me." and rolling their eyes. You chuckled, opening the door to base and dragging yourselves to the living room. Pyro plopped onto the couch, sinking into the plush cushions and removing their mask. They knew the rest of the team wouldn't be back for a while, and the heat of the day had done a number to both of you. You took your seat next to them, sitting back and resting your feet on the coffee table in front of you. "Wanna watch tv?" They asked, grabbing the remote. "Yeah whatevs" You responded, yawning and stretching your arms over your head. An hour of mindless game shows, and you had passed out, head falling on their shoulder. Pyro chuckled, turning the tv down and dimming the lights. They pecked your forehead, and cuddled into you, making themself comfortable.

Demoman: Demo certainly didn’t take you as a drinker, let alone a party animal like himself! You go out for a couple drinks together after a team winning streak and manage to arrive back to base blasted out of your minds, clinging onto one another for dear life in your drunken stupor. “IIIIII LOOVE YOU DEMOOO!!!!” You proclaimed, enveloping your arms around the Scott’s neck. Grinning and face burning, he wrapped his arms around your waist, attempting to gently guide you back to your bedroom. His ongoing feelings for you had always been pushed down, and despite knowing that you were probably just super wasted and wouldn’t remember it in the morning, he didn’t want to waste possibly his only chance to spill at least some of his feelings to you. “Aye, i looove you too y/nnnn” Tavish slurred, poking your face in various places. You laughed and kissed the man on the cheek, “DAAATE ME TAAVAVVVV!!” You lamented, cupping his face in your hands. The sudden movement causing you both to topple over onto the floor of your room. Demo sat up and leant against the foot of your bed, you, laughing hysterically, joined him. Resting your head on his shoulder, your laughter dribbled off to giggles and you listened to his thundering heartbeat. "I really do like you, Tav.." You whispered, peering down at the floor, feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you. You nuzzled into his shoulder, and drifted off, leaving a beet faced Demo staring down at you.

Heavy: Visiting Heavy's home during the middle of a Russian winter was a less than ideal scenario, but the team had wanted to see what a "real winter" was like, and now here you were trudging 2 foot deep in snow towards the wooden lodge. Heavy opened the door to the sight of 9 freezing mercs, and scoffed. "Inside." He commanded. You furrowed your brows and complied, shivering from the contrast of hot air. "Drink." A mug of hot coco was given to you by the gentle giant. "T-thanks.." You mumbled, walking over to the fireplace and sitting cross legged in front of it. Most of the mercs were directed to their rooms, some lounged around in the kitchen or dining area, having quiet conversations. Heavy sat next to you, mug in hand. This was already too close to comfort for you, and he could tell. Whilst he had been crushing on you for a while, he was oblivious to whether you returned those feelings - believing that you were scared of him. But right now your tired eyes and pink cheeks said otherwise, seeking some form of comfort from the man. "Come, I will hold you to warm you up." Mikhail gave you no room for choice, and you were still freezing. You complied and scooted closer to Heavy, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you. In an instant, you had fallen asleep, curled up on Heavy, the body heat shared between the two of you giving more warmth than the blazing heat permeating from the fireplace in front of you.

Engineer: Even after hours of battling, the match on 2fort had yet to finish. Scouts from both sides rushing for the briefcase, only to instantly die from sentry guns, Spies in disguise, or a Heavy hopped up on ubercharge. You were ready to drop, the respawn machine healing your wounds but doing nothing for your exhaustion. You knew that Dell was stationed in the intelligence room, sentry setup so anyone who trespassed would be delt with. The perfect place to catch a few z's before heading back out to the fight. "Yo Dell, can I maybe rest down here for a bit?" You implored, watching the man upgrade a dispenser. "Sure darlin'," He smiled earnestly, you gave him a look of relief. Curling up under the desk, you attempted to sleep, but the lack of cushioning made it an impossible task. Dell noticed, and gave the dispenser one last 'clonk' with his spanner before accompanying you under the table. "Here," He scootched up next to you, "You can rest on me if you'd like." You looked up at him, his cheeks felt hot. "Wow - yeah, thanks Dell." Blood rushed to your face as you situated your head on his shoulder. "Anytime, pumpkin." He muttered. Sleep was instantaneous, Engie held his breath until he was sure you were out cold, letting out a deep sigh and smiling down at the floor. How did he get so lucky?

Medic: Medic suffered long nights in the infirmary, and during those nights you would often visit him to keep him company. It was routine - you would saunter in around 9pm, sitting on the edge of the operating table, your feet barely touching the floor, chin resting in the palms of your hands as he tinkered away. He reveled in it - he had grown attached to this schedule, and by extension, you. Your mere presence made him giddy, seeing your sweet smile before he put you under anesthetics made his heart swell. The best nights were the ones where you would let him operate on you, he would be able to enact out his writings, throwing things at the wall and seeing what stuck. Then, you'd either walk out around 3am, or respawn from a botched surgery, and go to bed. Tonight, however, you had proven to be far too tired for a surgery, let alone a full night of softly rambling to Ludwig about whatever crossed your mind. You had pulled up the operating chair and sat next to him, eyes flickering between him and the notes he had been writing in his medical book, slowly drifting off. Your head fell on his shoulder, fast asleep. Medic peered down at you from over his glasses, breathing a lovestruck sigh. Maybe these were the best nights.

Sniper: The middle of the day in Sniper's van was akin to hell. The air smelt stale, windows wide open, no aircon, just the both of you sweaty, sticky, and half clothed. This would usually have embarrassed the two of you, but the 40 degree weather and sound of the other mercs outside attempting to cool off using a singular hose had you both choosing to stay indoors, not wanting to get involved in the argument currently taking place between Demo and Soldier. Heat fogged your brain, you felt so tired, your body sweat all of your energy out. "Fuck, why couldn't you get an AC installed?" You groaned, lazily shutting your eyes and fanning your face with your hand. Sniper shrugged, and despite not being able to see the motion, you scoffed. "Dunno," Mick responded nonchalantly. He trailed off, seemingly succumbing to the same heat induced exhaustion you were fighting with. You opened your eyes slightly, confirming your suspicions that Sniper had also closed his. Arms crossed, head pointing downwards, God, he looked so comfortable. Mick could tell what you were thinking, and he wanted nothing more than to cuddle up to you, but he couldn't bring himself to move. You were close like that, almost reading one another's minds at times. So you made the first step, sliding over to him and laying your head on his shoulder. Sniper was uncomfortably hot, yet refusing to move an inch as you slept on him. Eventually, he couldn't help but nod off alongside you.

Spy: The drive back from your mission was excruciating. Sniper and Medic sat in the driver and passenger seats respectively, the only sound was the droning radio hosts on the van's radio. You had failed, and you knew Spy was seething from the loss. You, however, were so tired you couldn't even stand. Partially from the bullet lodged in your calf, partially from the athlete level running you had to do in order to get back to the van after the high elected government official had caught you in the act attempting to steal nuclear launch codes. Spy was the one to snatch the codes, but you had still been seen, and that in of itself was a failure. Incidentally, Spy had been the one to offer you aid once you were safely in the van. Your arm draped around his shoulders, wincing at the sharp pains running up your leg. As much as he tried to hate you, he just....couldn't. You were too sweet, too kind. So, he opted instead to blame Medic and Sniper for being unable to damage control the situation better. You were slipping in and out of consciousness, head slowly rocking towards Spy's shoulder, and then awkwardly leaning back towards the wall of the vehicle. "Rest your head on me, mon cher. Otherwise you are going to break your nose." He grunted. In an instant you had passed out on him, breathing in the strong scent of cigarettes and expensive cologne. He sighed a breath of relief, enjoying your gentle pressure on his side. Smitten was an understatement.

[tf2rivalsinespionagecomicupdates]

Issue 1, Page 23

[feralrabidcrow]

I'm sure all of us are familiar with what happened to Heavy and Medic in the TF2 comics, particularly, comic #6.

They reunite after spending 6 months apart following the mercenaries being fired. Heavy has been living back in Russia with his family, and Medic has joined the TFC team, which has gone horribly.

Their reunion is in a less than ideal situation as Heavy is interrupting Cheavy from tearing Medic into pieces. Cheavy kills Medic, and Heavy completely loses his shit. He is determined to kill the man who killed his Doktor. To a degree that doesn't seem like avenging a friend, almost more like avenging a partner. Someone he loves deeply.

But then Medic comes back, and Heavy is just... weirdly casual about it. He goes from complete rage mode to "Ah Doktor it is good to have you back." No hug, no tears, just accepts that Medic is alive again. It almost feels like there is an awkwardness between them.

From a logical standpoint, this is just TF2 being TF2. The emotional moments in the comics are often quickly switched to a comedic tone.

But my Red Oktoberfest obsessed brain has latched onto this hard, and I have a headcanon that is now deeply ingrained into my worldview.

Heavy and Medic broke up when the team disbanded.

As much as I like the idea of Heavy and Medic keeping things going long distance and writing letters to each other, it doesn't make much sense to me logically.

This is something I've thought about a lot, to the point where I'm considering writing an angsty little one-shot about it.

I believe that when Gray Mann took control and fired the mercenaries, Heavy and Medic were left in a complicated situation where their interests no longer aligned. Heavy wanted to go back home to Russia and take care of his family. Medic wanted to look for a new job to continue his medical mad science endeavours. No matter what, if they were to stay together, someone would have ended up dissatisfied. After trying and failing to come up with a compromise, they decided the best thing was to go their separate ways.

But it didn't change the fact that they still loved each other. They went on to their new situations, with feelings of lingering regret and wondering what could have happened if they had stayed together.

When they reunite in the comics, this is the first time seeing each other since their painful break-up. They still care deeply for each other, hence Heavy instantly becoming protective of Medic when he sees him in danger. And when Medic dies, he snaps completely. He has thought about this man constantly since returning to Russia, silently hurting over the loss of the only real relationship he ever had. And now that man is dead. Of course he's going to lose it.

But when Medic comes back, he's confronted with the fact that Medic technically isn't his partner anymore, not at this point, anyways. In comes the awkwardness. He isn't sure how to approach this now. He and Medic have barely even spoken to each other at this point, much less talked about their feelings or their break-up.

I like to think shortly after the 6th comic ends, or sometime off-screen, they talk things out, resolve their issues, and maybe even share a lovely little reuniting kiss. But hey, that's just a theory! A game theory!

[crabonfire]

sick mercs (1/3)

characters: offense class

warnings: none, fluff and crack (I think)

note: I hate making things into parts BUUTTT pyros ALONE ended up being super long, so I'm making them based off of class!! and...its 2 am so I should probably be asleep instead of writing anyway. Parts 2 and 3 will feature the other classes, and will be written tomorrow! Cause its late and I'm tired! okay love u

no but why did I make pyros so long 😭 it was a whole fic wtf

reposts and shares appreciated (u///u)<3

♡Scout♡

•When he's sick he's SUPPPERRR dramatic over it cause when he was a kid his ma was super doting and stuff, and since he was the youngest it made sense. But with you he tries to be all suave and tough, not wanting to admit the fever he has is absolutely killing him, oh the runny nose he has? That's just cause...he...ate something spicy. Not cause of a flu, no...

•He makes an effort to not talk or see the team at all today, and weirdly, he only ever gets sick on ceasefire days. It's like his body isn't used to not doing anything and that gives him a chance to do a bunch of stupid stuff, that, in the end, gets him sick.

•So he's stuck in his room. When you or anyone else knock on his door he pretends he's asleep, and sometimes, he really is. But, when you catch him in the kitchen stealing one of Heavy's sandwiches, he's sniffling, his face slightly red (redder than usual) his expression one like a kicked puppy.

•When you confront him about it, he just acts like he's not sick.

"I'm not sick, okay?"

But when you put your foot down, getting him back to bed and getting the right medicine from the medic, he has this certain look on his face. His cheeks are red, probably because of his fever, but, it might also be caused by you.

The moment your voice turns soft, or stern, depending on how kind you wanna be to his stubbornness, his lips curl into a grin, and immediately he whines and melts, acting like his sickness is the end of the world.

"Ah, my head...ohhhh my head. Hurts so bad. Maybe if ya kiss it...I'll feel better." He says, his voice weak as he closes his eyes, shifting in bed like some sort of damsel in distress.

• He'd be real obedient as you give him medicine and stuff, and stare up at you with bright eyes, as if the little fucker wasn't acting so brave about it before. The moment anyone walks in or sees him being doted, he'll push you away (maybe even physically, in panic) cause he's scared to ruin his reputation.

But when they're gone, he'll apologize and cling to you like a parasite. Muttering and mumbling incoherent things for your attention. He's an ass, but he loves you.

• He'd always tell you how much he appreciates you as you stay by his side, his very dizzy and sick brain making him slur his words, that cheeky grin still plastered on his face.

"You care about me...haha."

"You're so sweet, you love me, don't you?"

You know how some people get super weird and sorta high when they're super sick? Yeah that's scout with you.

♡Soldier♡

• Like Scout, absolutely DENIES that he's sick.

"SICKNESS AND DISEASE IS MERELY A HOAX! AN EXCUSE CREATED BY COMMUNISTS TO SPREAD THEIR LIES ABOUT AMERICAN- ACHOO-"

• Entire day there's a gigantic frown on his face, he cannot stop sneezing. He sneezed on Scout, and Scout was convinced that he was gonna die.

Engineer is the first to speak up after seeing the soldier violently sneeze without closing his nose. But, his stubbornness gets in the way and he merely brushes him off. Then, half the team begs you to talk to him. So you do.

"Hey Soldier, uh, you...you're looking a little pale."

"PALE? WELL, I GUESS MY SKIN HAS BEEN LOOKING GOOD TODAY!"

You chuckled, "No, pale in a bad way. And I notice you've been sneezing a bunch, are you feeling okay? Did you catch a cold?"

He frowns, and yet again, denies any accusation that he's sick. It doesn't take long, though, when you convince him to stay in his room (or yours, which he'd prefer) so you could "surprise" him. He takes that as an invitation for something else and was a little disappointed when he realized it was a trick to get him to rest.

"Wait...THIS IS A TRAP! YOU'VE TRAPPED ME! HELP-"

He starts to yell as you take his helmet off. You simply laugh, placing it nearby. "Yeah. I trapped you, and now, I order you to stay in bed while I go get some medicine. Am I clear?"

He scoffs at your command. "And what if I DON'T stay?" He remarked, you frowned. "Then you'll be disappointing all the...Americans that spent so much time curating and- crafting the very medication that keeps us healthy."

You made that shit up on the spot, but you knew whenever you spoke to him like a commander did, he'd always listen. He thought about it for a moment and grumbled in reply;

"Fine."

• He does as you ask, staying completely still in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, occasionally muttering things to himself as if this very action is the worst thing in the world. When you come back, tray in hand with medicine and a glass of water, his expression softens slightly.

You sit down on the bed, he sits up, and as you hand him the medicine, something warm grows in his chest. He stays silent as he takes the medicine reluctantly, before he stares at you with an unreadable expression.

You smile ask what's wrong but he shakes his head. A big grin appears on his face as he realizes something and he chuckles, but he doesn't tell you what he's thinking about.

"Thanks, cupcake."

• You take care of him, keeping a watch on him for a while as you beg him to get some rest for his cold. He agrees but only if you stay with him, and you do. He holds you tightly as he braves through his cold, head nuzzled in your shoulder as your treated like a Teddy bear.

He felt happy. Someone cared for him, and he didn't know why, but that realization made his heart feel full. Not the type of full he'd usually feel after a hard victory, or the type of full he'd feel after messing around with demoman all day, but a type of full he could feel only with you. He really cared for you, and he was honored you cared for him just as much.

♡Pyro♡

• You could honestly never tell pyro was sick. Sometimes they'd spend days with you as normal, very much sick, but they'd never show it. That's also because they had a strong immune system, and only got sick every couple of years or so.

The one time they've ever gotten sick around you, was during the hottest day in Teufort. Everyone was sweating their asses off, so you could imagine how bad it was for them. Having to be around fire, wearing a heavy, thick, fire retardant suit all day? Oh, it was bad.

They sat at the locker room for longer after battle had ended, seemingly staring off into the distance. Everyone else had left, so did you. But when they didn't come out for an hour or so you checked in on them, visibly worried.

"Pi? You okay?"

You saw them, still sitting in the same bench, looking off into the ground. You walked over to them, placing a hand on their shoulder. They jolted, as if awoken from a deep sleep. They turned their head, their breathing was loud in the quiet room, but it was heavy and ragged. You frowned in worry.

"What's wrong?"

• They muffled something even you couldn't understand, their voice was quiet, before they shook their head and got up. They almost stumbled, but you kept their balance. They leaned their head on your shoulder, and you could feel the heavy breaths they exhaled through their mask. You turned to them, placing a hand on their shoulder.

"It's a hot day, huh? Can't be feeling too good especially in that suit of yours."

They mumbled in reply, and you took that as a sign that they must've been real affected by the heat today. "Lets get you to your room, I'll get you a nice cold glass of water, okay?"

• You headed back to their room, allowing them to sit for a bit as you went and got some ice cold water. You sat by, the door locked as they lifted off their mask to take a sip. You could feel the heat they radiated, even from a short distance.

"Pi, I think you might have a fever."

They chugged down the water, before turning to you, lifting their mask back down. They went quiet for a moment before they nodded. You frowned, "Why didn't you say anything?" They shrugged, shaking their head. "Mmh mmhf mmh mmh mmhf mmhf mm mmhf." (I didn't think I was sick at first.)

You sighed, before humming. "I'll go get some medicine, you should probably lie down- maybe take the suit off first. I won't look if it'll make you uncomfortable." You stared at them, waiting for their response. They paused hesitantly, before nodding.

• When you got back, they were in bed, gas mask still on, but now in their tank top and unicorn themed shorts. They didn't show their body often, as they felt insecure of the scars they had. When they saw you, they pulled the blanket up to their chest, which you didn't comment on.

You walked over with a large bottle of water and some medicine, placing it on a nearby table.

"Medic said you just need some rest and a lot of water, so...don't forget to drink."

You didn't quite know what to do with the pyro. They were quiet, which, to you wasn't that unusual. But you could feel the nervousness, and you felt worried, as they didn't seem too good. They murmured a "thank you," staring up at you as you sit by them.

"Do you want me to leave?"

In truth, you didn't want to, and they didn't want you to either. But you didn't want to make them uncomfortable, as the only other times they've showed their body to you were in intimate situations. You didn't want to overwhelm them, but you wanted to take care of them. They shook their head, before mumbling;

"Mm mmhn mmhf mm mmhh mmhf mm mmhn mmhnf mmh." (You don't have to stay if you don't want to.)

"I'll stay for a bit. You need your rest and.. I wanna make sure you're okay."

That sentence could make them melt if the heat wasn't already doing that to them. They let out a hoarse giggle. You always made them swoon, even if the things you said weren't overly romantic. It always meant a lot to them, as they never really had someone who cared.

That noise always made you smile, as you stared down at them. It was silent for a while as you two looked at each other. Even under the mask you could tell they had a smile. You've only ever seen that smile once, and the thought of it makes your heart race. You soon broke the silence, slowly getting up.

"Drink your meds and get some sleep, okay?

• As you left, they couldn't help but smile. They got up to lock the door, before taking off their mask and flopping into bed. Not forgetting to do as you said, they fall fast asleep with you on their mind.

Even in their dreams your their, and even with this small, common gesture of caring for them, they cant help but feel a bit weak in the knees when they think of you. They thought the engineer was sweet, but you? They should call you sugar.

It was the first time they had someone worry so much, the way you frowned at them made their chest tighten, and weirdly, in a reaffirming way. In a way that made them realize they weren't so bad, and they were capable of being cared for.

Maybe they were getting too into it, but they didn't care.

♡♡♡♡

I did not expect pyros to be long. Like I was writing and suddenly as I was looking back I realized how much I was yapping. Shit. Anyway, defense and support classes will be written by tomorrow, probably the one or both. Yay!

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[beans-bacon69]

just 2 old men kissing

[neo-my-geo]

Hey gang, it’s your old pal Neo here. If you know me, it’s probably from one of the several very stupid TF2 comics I’ve posted to Tumblr.

However! I am also an English major (unfortunately). One who has read millions of words worth of fanfiction in their life. I have been part of the Sherlock, BNHA, Disco Elysium, and, of course, TF2 fandoms; I’ve been around the block.

The further I’ve progressed into my English education, the more I’ve noticed which mistakes are the most common in fanfiction. Many of them are easily fixable; writers just need to be pointed in the right direction. 

“Neo! Does this mean you think people shouldn’t be allowed to post their works online without a background in formal English education?”

Of course not! I can explain why if you’d care to venture below the cut with me!

Yes, I will explain how to use commas.

It’s important to note that this is NOT a post about formal writing. You aren’t writing an essay. Please, for the love of god, do not write fiction like you’re writing an essay.

There are no stakes to writing fanfic. No one is going to get hurt if an author doesn’t know what a dangling participle is. One of my favourite things about fanfiction is that it’s one of the only art forms left that’s done exclusively for fun! You should write what you enjoy, and share what you make with like-minded people. 

What I want to do is provide assistance as best I can to writers who want to improve their fundamentals without having to take the same university courses I did. Nobody is going to be getting a formal education to write fanfiction unless they’re ridiculously dedicated, and I’m not expecting that of anyone. 

The point I need to stress is that knowing these grammar fundamentals can instantly improve the flow of your writing. Punctuation is a ridiculously important tool for writers, ESPECIALLY in fiction. Commas, semicolons, and full stops (including periods, exclamation points, and question marks) steer the pacing in the reader’s mind; did you notice how your brain stopped for a second after that semicolon? I can show you how to do that.

You may be wondering why I’m going through so much effort to teach all of this to strangers on the internet. The answer is that I enjoy sharing this knowledge with others and helping them grow. By seeing this, my goal is to help you become more proficient at self-editing. Showing this to people who actually want to learn will, hopefully, benefit the community as a whole, and I think that’s very worth it. 

Also, while this post is obviously themed around TF2, the points I’m making can be applied to any fiction. Grammar is for everyone, and the church of the semicolon always has room for more initiates. 

Also also, as an edit, I should clarify that this is meant to cover the more objective facets of self-editing, which is why I'm mostly covering punctuation. Maybe I'll do another post about using adjectives someday.

With that out of the way, let’s get going!

I’ve teamed up with several English teachers (real ones! One of which may or may not be my mom!) and an editor to gather a list of the most common problems we see in amateur fiction. This post is going to be split into three broad sections: apostrophes, commas/semicolons, and other common problems. 

The apostrophe

This section is short, but it holds weight. Other than commas, apostrophes are the most typoed grammatical tool in any fanfiction I’ve edited. This is because, much like the rest of English, the rules surrounding them can be annoying and inconsistent. 

Apostrophes have two main uses: possessives and conjunctions.

A possessive is a word that denotes the ownership of one thing over another. The vast majority of the time, this is done using an apostrophe and an S.

There is, however, one glaring exception to this rule, and it’s the bane of my existence. 

When denoting possession of an object over something else while using the pronoun ‘it,’ you do NOT add an apostrophe before the S.

A conjunction, on the other hand, is when a writer uses an apostrophe to combine two words. The following are examples of common conjunctions:

What’s (what is)

They’re (they are)

It’s (it is)

Conjunctions are not often used in formal writing. Thankfully, we aren’t dealing in formal writing. Go crazy.

Time for a lightning round of the most commonly mistaken for each other possessives and conjunctions!

Your is possessive. You’re is a conjunction of ‘you’ and ‘are.’ When you can’t decide which one to use, imagine replacing it with ‘you are’ and seeing if it makes sense. If it doesn’t, use your.

Their is possessive. There indicates a location. They’re is a conjunction of ‘they’ and ‘are.’ 

The comma and the semicolon

You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. It’s time to talk about commas.

Commas and semicolons are far and away the biggest grammatical hole in the toolset of fanfiction writers everywhere. They’re often treated like the rules surrounding them are complicated and difficult to understand, but the exact opposite is true! 

The big issue I’ve heard time and time again is that the rules of commas are often explained through metaphor instead of example; this means that writers everywhere have slightly different ideas of how you’re supposed to use them. The fact of the matter is that, yes, there are correct and incorrect ways to use commas. Knowing when they’re appropriate and when they aren’t is easily the fastest way to bring your writing from looking amateurish to sounding professional and experienced. 

In order to know how to use a comma, you must first understand the difference between a dependent and an independent clause. 

An independent clause is a section of writing that functions perfectly well as its own sentence. It MUST have both a subject and an action/verb.

A sentence without an independent clause is known as a fragment, and they’re the bane of English teachers with highlighters everywhere. 

A dependent clause is a section of writing that does not have both a subject and an action; it does not function as its own sentence.

Now, let’s say you want to combine the two. When joining a dependent clause to an independent clause, the order in which they are placed is crucial to whether you use a comma or not. 

When joining a dependent to an independent with the independent clause first, you do not need to use a comma.

When joining a dependent to an independent with the dependent clause first, you MUST use a comma. 

Keep in mind that, if one strives for total grammatical perfection, all narrative sentences MUST have an independent clause. This, however, does not apply to dialogue. Human beings do not think about whether what they’re saying is a dependent clause, and neither would the vast majority of fictional characters. Don’t be afraid to break the rules of grammar as long as it’s contained within quotation marks. 

Alright, that’s the easy part. Time to learn about joining two independent clauses. It’s semicolon time, baby!

If you join two independent clauses without properly using a comma or a semicolon, it is a run-on sentence. You do not want these in your writing. They’re awkward to read and mess up the flow.

When joining two independent clauses, you can use EITHER a comma or a semicolon. You just need to follow these rules:

If you’re joining two independent clauses with a comma, you MUST use a joining word (and, but, so, etc.) AFTER the comma. 

If you’re joining two independent clauses with a semicolon, you do NOT need to use a joining word.

Did you know that a sentence with a comma counts as its own independent clause? This means that you can make a sentence that includes a mix of both without it being a run-on! Just make sure that, no matter what, the semicolon is between two independent clauses. 

Still, try not to write more than two clauses in a sentence too often. Sentences with a lot of punctuation are very attention-grabbing, but shouldn’t be overused. Full stops aren’t your enemy and variety is the spice of life. 

It’s also important to remember that you should avoid using more than one comma in a clause (with the exception of the rule below). That part loops back to the 'avoiding run-ons' bit.

It’s really that easy! 

Commas are also used in informal writing to inject a separate thought or descriptor mid-sentence without breaking the flow by adding a period. This is often used when describing the perspective of a character experiencing something in a story, but not (usually) when using omniscient perspectives. 

The final issue I frequently see with commas in fanfiction is in regards to dialogue. Sometimes you end it with them, and sometimes you don’t. What gives? 

Well, my friend, the answer is, thankfully, much simpler than the previous section.

When following dialogue with a dialogue tag, use a comma instead of a full stop. If you’re continuing the previous sentence after the tag, use a comma after it as well. 

Note that a dialogue tag is a short phrase that identifies the speaker. It isn’t a complete sentence on its own.

When following dialogue with an action that does not serve as a dialogue tag, use a full stop instead of a comma. 

Other common problems

This section is dedicated to putting specific grammatical errors into words, along with how to solve them. 

Not sticking to the chosen point of view

Always choose your point of view before you start. Is it in the first, second, or third person? Is it omniscient or limited? Does the point of view switch during the story?

First person perspective is told as if the POV character is directly describing their experience to the reader. The character uses I and we to describe their own actions.

Second person perspective is told as if the reader is a character in the story and their actions are being described to them. This is the rarest, and the most difficult to write.

Third person perspective is the most common and the simplest to write. The events of the story are a separate entity from the reader altogether and the narrator uses they/he/she/it pronouns for characters. 

Omniscient perspective means the narrator of the story knows all, including the thoughts and feelings of each character. 

Limited perspective means the narrator of the story only knows what the POV character knows. 

Past and present tense

When you decide between writing a story in past or present tense, it is crucial that you do not switch between them unless it is narratively intentional. Reading a past tense story that mistakenly switches to the present tense is like being pulled out of the room someone is telling a story in and suddenly taking part in it yourself. It’s disorienting and gives the reader unwanted pause.

Overly-long paragraphs

A common adage spread by English teachers is that most paragraphs should be at least eight sentences long. This is great advice for beginner essays. You’re writing fiction. 

If you have a new thought, start a new paragraph! A concise and well-read single-sentence paragraph is infinitely better than one that drags a thought for too long. Aim to have a blend of paragraph lengths when you write, alternating between the descriptive and the punctual. 

Dangling participles

A dangling participle is when a word is used to describe a noun that isn’t actually present in the sentence. Much like how a sentence without an action isn’t grammatically correct, neither is a sentence without a subject. 

Malapropisms

A malapropism is when an author mistakenly uses one word or phrase instead of another similar-sounding one. I’m not about to list every single malapropism ever made, but these are the ones I notice most often:

To comprehend is to understand something, to apprehend is to arrest someone, and to be apprehensive is to be anxious or fearful of something bad happening.

Could care less means you do care. Couldn’t care less means you don’t.

A lot means a large amount of something. Alot isn’t a word and you shouldn’t use it.

The only real solution to using malapropisms is to make sure you fully understand any words you use in your writing. Never guess, and make sure you always google it. Having beta readers also helps.

If you made it this far, congratulations! You now know the most common errors in amateur fiction and how to solve them! Thank you for listening to me complain for two thousand words. 

The most important thing to remember is that it’s okay to make mistakes. First drafts are always gonna be a little bad. The real key to success is knowing what your end goal is, and how you plan on achieving it. Here’s hoping this was a helpful tool for that!

Shoutout to @salmonandsoup for helping me think of the list of issues to address! You're a real one. Also shoutout to my mom, who doesn't have Tumblr. Also the third person. You know who you are.

[spiders-striped-cheeks]

Tf2 Merks Red Flags

I don’t Support this behavior

Head cannons under the cut

A03 link

Engineer

- Like Medic has no time for you at all and won’t make time for you

- Sometimes it feels like he cares about his work more than he does you

- Never really wants to spend time with you going on things like dates

Demo man

- he’s an alcoholic (obviously)

Heavy

- has trauma he can’t process

I can’t really think of anything

Miss Pauling

- has absolutely no time for you at all (she only has one day off of the year) but unlike the others she will try to make time

- Won’t tell you that plans fell through because she forgot to or didn’t want to hurt your feelings

- If you ever tell her about something like her not having enough time for intimacy or sexual things she will probably just tell you to see other people

- Probably has forgotten important dates for you before

Medic

- has no time for you and won’t make an effort to make time for you

- Will ignore you for his work

- He probably yells a lot at you when he’s angry

- if he yells loud enough and long enough he thinks he can win any disagreement

- If you ever bring up him using substances to work better he will be pissed at you for days and ignore you

- If you ever bring up his bad medical practices he is probably going to leave you <3

- he wouldn’t discipline Archimedes, or his other birds if they did something like claw or attack you if he was mad

Pyro (platonic)

- has set your things on fire after you told them not to

- The tea party’s are horrific and terrifying

- there codependent and clingy

Spy

- Spy will not open up about anything

- Self destructive

- he’s still trying to live his life like he’s 20

- Your probably not an appropriate age for him

- Thinks he can just buy you something expensive you want to fix an argument

- If your still mad at him after he gives you a gift he will be PISSED

- Will probably ignore you when he’s mad at you

- If you don’t like one of his bad habits like smoking inside, he will be pissed at you

- Of if you start to age at all he will probably leave for a new girl

- Expects you to look like a 10 all the time (it’s unrealistic)

Sniper

- he isn’t good at communication at all

- He can’t cope with anything at all

- Self destructive

- Won’t admit when he’s wrong even if he knows he’s wrong

- Thinks that if he argues long enough he will somehow become right in the argument

- Cannot support you in anything.

- Runs away from all of his problems in life

- If your his friend and you two get in a bad argument prepare to never see him again (he’s moving to a new city’s again)

- Does not know how to comfort propel and it’s painful

Scout

- Kinda misogynistic

- Self destructive when it comes to relationships mainly romantic

- Definitely has a problem with ghosting people when things get rough (not just with relationships.)

- Like sniper he’s more than okay with running away from his problems than confronting them

- has probably cheated before and treated it like not a big deal

- Thinks periods are gross and disgusting

- He cannot clean up after himself

- He’s a mamas boy

- It’s painfully obvious that he was the youngest

- He has daddy issues but not in the fun sexy way

- Like spy probably also expects you to look like a 10 constantly

[jellyfishoreo1206]

I'm unsure if I'll consistently write for TF2 but omg has this been rotating in my mind like a rotisserie chicken from Costco

MEDIC, SNIPER, ENGINEER EATING YOU OUT

NSFW MDNI

Includes: a smidge of consensual somnophilia, fingering, tonguing, overstimulation, mention period blood/blood consumption (?), breeding if you squint

S/O is afab with fem pronouns

MEDIC

We can all agree he is a FREAKKKKKK

Now lemme say this

HE LOVES WAKING YOU UP LIKE THIS

Like seriously

He could do this forever

The soft/breathy moans you let out whenever he goes down on you

And how your body responds to his actions??

Omg he could just stay there

Doesn't care if you lock your thighs around his head, that's what the respawn machine is for

Loves it especially if you're having a wet dream about him, gives him an excuse to eat you out

Will love it even more when you're on your period/ovulating

Just the taste and smell of your blood and arousal mixing on his tongue and how much more fertile you will be when your period/ovulating finishes

It drives him INSANE

Will literally groan into your pussy from the satisfaction of your taste

Maybe whimpers/begs if he's pussy drunk

"Mein liebe! I can't get enough of jou..pleaze let me taste more of jou.."

If he's REALLY pussy drunk, he'll start speaking in his native tongue

Likes to think he's just helping you with your cramps (in which case he is :3)

He leaves bite marks on your thighs, it's canon I don't make the rules

I feel as if his tongue is more wetter than most, maybe a little slimly

And on the semi-thicker side

Would use his fingers to watch you flutter around them as he presses kisses into your skin

Then pull several orgasms from you via mouth until the only thing you are screaming is his name

"Scheiße.." Ludwig whispers to himself as he drags his hands slowly up and down the plush inner thighs of yours, observing the scarred skin as a trail of goosebumps followed right after as a breathy moan left his lips. He originally came in to wake you up as it was nearly time for breakfast as knowing the others, the food will probably be gone in just a matter of minutes. But a certain smell hit his nose when he approached the bed, one that made a unmistakable shiver of excitement go through his body.

The smell of period blood.

It wouldn't have been the first time he has gone down on you while on your menstrual cycle even you were while sleeping, but everytime it always brings him as sense of extreme arousal whenever he gets a whiff of the metallic scent. He would never tire of the smell or taste of it, not even after having tasted it 1,000 times would he never tire.

His breath comes out heavier as he drags a finger from your hole to clit, voicing his pleasure as he sees just the amount of blood and arousal that gathered on his finger from one stroke alone. Something in him went feral as he saw how your hole seemed to flutter, begging for him as the slightly quiet moan of yours left your lips. With no hesitation, he dove into your folds, hungerly lapping up your arousal as he groaned, eyes closed as he savored the flavor of you on his tongue as he thrusts it into you at a semi-fast pace. He made sure to pay attention to your clit, bringing his fingers up to gently rub at it to add to your pleasure.

A buzz went through his body as he continues his actions, his free hand anchoring itself onto your thighs as they twitched. The world seemingly disappeared around him as he made out with your pussy, blood and arousal smearing onto the lower half of his face as he angled his tongue to reach the right places inside you. A stream of whimpers were leaving your mouth, an absolute musical to his ears as he drinks you, a mixture of saliva, blood, and arousal slowly drip down his chin and onto the pristine white of his collared shirt. The other mercs might notice it, if they're observant enough, but to hell with them.

It wasn't long until your insides clamped tightly around his tongue as a long moan left your plump lips, walls pulsing as gushes of your arousal cover the entirety of the lower half of his face as well as the top part of his shirt and vest. Pulling away was a struggle, moans leaving his mouth as he humped the bed, lapping up the rest of your arousal with a hunger, merely pulling away when your twitches increased. He was somewhat surprised when he made eye contact with sleepy eyes, observing how flushed your face was and the dripping sweat begining to form around your hairline as your lidded eyes observed him, chest heaving heavily as you attempted to catch your breath.

God you are going to be the death of him.

The stinging pain of his hair being pulled snapped him out of his trance, your hand fisted in his hair guiding him back down to where he was before previously. He lets out a low groan when he sees just the absolute mess that he left. He needed no words when you pulled him closer, his breath fanning your heat as he watched your folds flutter from anticipation.

"Meine Liebe, du machst mich absolut verrückt.."

ENGINEER

All I can say is

HE IS A TEASE

AN ABSOLUTE TEASE

Like, he will basically make out with your pussy

Full on french kissing it

And when you're about to come, just sooo close to that edge, he just pulls away

And he will MAKE you beg for him to let you come

But will then make you come over and over again, chuckling whenever you try to ask for him to slow down

Dw you guys use the stop light system

He's not Engineer w/o that gentleman in him

"What's the matter, darlin'? Thought you wanted this~"

The main reason he does this? To see you squirt

No joke, he thinks you become more attractive when you're squirting

His mouth is so warm

AND HE HAS A THICK AND ROUGH TONGUE

He knows how to use that thing

And he knows very damn well

Prideful bitch (I love him)

Will more than likely use the Gunslinger when going down on you too

Inserting those metallic fingers inside you as he slightly nibbles at your clit, enjoying those small yelps you let out

His fingers are pretty thick too

Always cleans up/showers so you don't have to worry about oil or smth like that

I've seen this around whenever reading anything smut related about Engie, but he adds a vibration setting to the Gunslinger

It just makes sense

He would absolutely love to bite around your thighs, placing his hands on your love handles to keep you from squirming away from his touch as he continues his teasing

Bc he's in the workshop most of the time, he'll sometimes forget to come to bed most of the time and that ends up with you pretty needy

So to make up for it he'll eat you out with a passion, going slow and taking his time to work you up to that point, dropping some praise here and there as he kisses bits of your skin as he licks at your core in long strokes

Or just eat you out while you're sleeping, it's a 50/50 with this man

Also doesn't care if you clamp your thighs around his head, do it however much you like cause his mama didn't raise no wimp

Gives so much praise

Like so much it's sickeningly sweet

If he's still in his work clothes, he'll put his helmet on your head before going down

"Keep tha' safe f'me, yeah?"

He's a cowboy and a gentleman through and through

Will sometimes go down on you in his workshop if he's desperate enough

Which has led to some unfortunate walk ins (poor pryo will never see you guys the same anymore)

"Fuck! Dell slow down!"

Despite your pleads, the engineer between your legs didn't bother to stop, seemingly just going faster, his tongue lapping at your pussy like a dog. The only indication you had that he heard you was the slight chuckle vibrating against your core, moans slipping past your lips as you felt yourself nearly tipping over the edge, the temperature of the room seemed to rapidly heat up the more that thick tongue of his teases itself inside of you.

God he's been going at it for so long. The insides of your thighs are literally dripping with your previous orgasms, thighs shaking as you attempted to keep them from clamping them around his head as he drinks up your arousal.

But right when you were just about to come, just right at the very very edge, he stops all movement. Whines and gasps left your mouth as you begged him to keep going, to not stop, all attempts futile as he was pulling away from your core with a sly smirk on his face, using his tongue to lick up the extra fluids that collected around his mouth.

"What's the matter? Isn't that what you wanted, Honeybee?" Oh you could just slap that smirk off his face if that throbbing desperation of yours wasn't bothering you so much.

"Fuck please don't stop! Please!" Desperate pleas fell from your lips as you begged for him to continue what he was doing, begging him to just keep going despite your earlier complaints. Though what you weren't expecting was the sudden intrusion of his thick finger, a pleasured yelp leaving your mouth. The mechanic pumps his finger at a deliciously fast pace, the semi-rough texture of it providing a sensation that has your eyes rolling back as it scrapes against all those good spots within you, fingers gripping at the bedsheets when it hits a particular spot within you.

"That's it, let yourself go for me, Honey." His words effortlessly drip off his tongue, his eyes watching as his finger gets covered in your juices in seconds, adding a second one with ease to the first, watching how you squirm underneath him. Though he noticed how a little bundle of nerves was being neglected, and being the man he is, decided to fix it as he leaned down and gently takes it into his mouth, sucking it in a soft manner.

That seemed to have been enough to pull another orgasm from you, strings of moans leaving your lips as the mechanic listens in satisfaction as he drinks. You. Up.

Your mind was completely fogged with pleasure, small twitches here and there as you attempted to get your breathing under control. In the midst of that, Dell pulled away being careful to not overstimulate you any more as he pulled his fingers out, peppering your thighs with kisses as he waits for you to come back to earth, a smile on his face.

"You alright, darlin'?"

It took you a few seconds to process the question, only mustering up a nod, that was enough for him though as he leaned up to place a careful kiss on your cheek. "Okay, Hun. How does a nice warm bath sound?"

God I love chubby strong men

SNIPER

He has fangs

He will use them (gently) whenever he can

Nibbles at your clit/folds or your thighs whenever he goes down on you

I feel like he has a smell kink

Oh who am I kidding he DEFINITELY has a smell kink

Like, look at him

He's obsessed with the smell of you

To the point he kinda steals a few pairs of your underwear from your dirty laundry to keep for himself

Okay moving on

Has wandering hands, he cannot keep them in place

Very shy when it comes to it, and awkward for the first few times

But after a few encouraging words and teases he gets right to it

His tongue is a little longer than the other two

It's not as thick but omg can he reach allll those good spots in you

Maybe a smidge less wetter than Medic's

A little submissive, considering he's very touch-starved

Fastest to become pussy drunk too

So many whimpers and moans are falling out of his mouth and into your pussy

"Ohh bloody hell, Roo.. I can't stop.."

Denies that he even got pussy drunk (liar)

A little cautious whenever your thighs are slightly squeezing his head

Cause my man is HELLA skinny

A stick if you will

Head would easily collapse compared to the other two

One time you squeezed your thighs a bit too hard, and he ended up with a cranium broken into several pieces

That was fun explaining to the Medic

When the others found out they never would let him live it down

Poor guy :[

His fingers are longgggg and have a good amount of thickness to them

Like he spends more time watching his fingers stretching out your cunt

If he feels adventurous enough (or brave) he'll want you to sit on his face while he eats you out

You swear he gets more vocal when you sit on his face

So. Much. PRAISE.

He accidentally edges you without knowing it sometimes, but he always makes up for it <3

"Fuuuck, Roo.. You look so pretty spread out on my fingers.." The temperature in Mick's camper seemed to increase rapidly despite it being chilly in the early morning of New Mexico. The sun was barely peaking from behind the mountainous region, the interior of the van being dark due to the lack of light as you watched the outline of the sniper's frame above you with breathy moans leaving your lips as those deliciously thick fingers of his pump themselves into your heat.

His sunglasses were still on the small bedside he had in his camper, giving you a clear view of his eyes as they were intensely watching how his fingers disappeared into your heat with a erotically wet 'squelch' filling the space of the camper.

"Mick! Je–sus don't stop!" The knot in your stomach seemed to be getting tighter, steadily building up in pressure the more time that passed as his fingers dragged deliciously against the ridges of your walls, shocks of pleasuring shooting out through your nerves.

Though it seemed like his fingers inside you weren't enough, as he lowered his head to be leveled with your sopping wet, hot core.

Removing his fingers, whines left your mouth, about to ask him why he stopped before keening at the feeling of his fingers rubbing at your clit and the feeling of his warm tongue pushing itself into your hole.

"Fucking shiT–!"

His normally cool and calm facade quickly broke down the moment he had a taste of you on his tongue, whines and gasps leaving his mouth and into your core, making it more pleasurable for you as your back arched up from the bed, your hand shooting out to grip at his hair as an anchor.

The action alone pulled a loud groan from him, his tongue seemingly going at a faster pace, messily lapping at your flowing juices as it covers every inch of his lower face and the inside of your thighs.

His hands soon began to wonder, various places of your body did he squeeze gently, what was once steady hands were shaky and unsteady as they continued to roam your body feeling every bump, scar, and crevice underneath his fingers tips.

Everything started to become fuzzy from the constant pleasure and sensations, to add to it Mick hasn't stopped those beautiful moans of his as your cunt muffled them, you could faintly hear some words, most likely words of praise. You could see the top half of his face through teary eyes, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as sweat dotted here and there on his face, hair messy and pointing in nearly every direction, god he was just so handsome.

The knot in your stomach finally broke, waves of euphoria washing over your body in rapid paces, nerves sparking and lighting on fire as the sensation surges and crashes throughout. Unconsciously, you accidentally wrapped your thighs around the sniper's head, squeezing a bit too tightly for his comfort. That's if his mind was clear, he would've cared, though his top priority as of now was to clean you up off all those delicious juices spilling out of your core and onto his tongue.

It took him some time to pull away once your ecstasy has passed, removing himself from in-between your thighs, placing delicate kisses along the way as he pulled himself up to lay down beside you.

Silence for a few moments, before you began to giggle exhausted, wrapping your arms around him to huddle yourself within his warmth.

"Wha's so funny, Doll?"

"Do I really have that effect on you?"

"Wha'?"

"To make all those cute little noises of yours."

"... don't know whatcha talkin' bout."

"Liar."

AHHHHHH I WISHED TO HAVE FOUND A BETTER ENDING FOR SNIPER USUJJJJWHWIWHJEIE 😭😭😭😭 (probably will update it to fix that later tho)