#45 pills instead of 90 for 3 months so :) yay

[bunnyb34r]

And so it begins...

Having severe mood swings and lots of anxiety bc my doctor fucked up one of my meds and I don't get more for another two weeks

It's a delayed release tablet but I only have 4 pills to last me 15 days so I cut them in half and am taking 1/2 every OTHER day and (: this is so fun (: today's a no pill day so yaaaay :)

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course. 

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope. 

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight. 

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous. 

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on. 

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday.��

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud. 

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.” 

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to. 

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling. 

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no. 

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time. 

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now. 

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo. 

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability). 

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead. 

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug. 

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs?  Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before?  Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th. 

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[irkajavasdream]

DON’T SMOKE MEDICAL MARIJUANA DAILY OR....

Unless you want Cannabanoid Hyperemesis Syndrome which will come to your house too after 3-5 years on average of daily MM smoking. It’s so much stronger than what used to be, that ER docs kept telling me I had CHS but I didn’t want to believe them. After having to take 5 nausea drugs, the ones they give to cancer patients, a couple few times a week but ending up in the hospital when my meds wouldn’t work, about 1 time per month. After 18 visits I finally bit the bullet. After a horrible visit to the ER where I was treated like a drug seeker since Ativan is the only thing that stopped the dry heaves, vomiting, and nausea, I decided to listen. It’s day 5 after FORTY years of daily use, i am terrified. So far, I have my appetite back and I LOVE how food tastes. It had gotten to the point that I barely could tolerate food, once a day i was somewhat hungry, and ate a decent meal. The other meal a pancake forcedly swallowed with water! So my best friend of 40 years became my enemy and I just couldn’t face it. Now I am. I haven’t been tired earlyish in a long time insomnia kept me up till 5-7 am!! I fell asleep early so far, and yesterday I think I finally sort of had a complete break down and slept all day for like 9 hours. Too tired to do anything. It was so nice to feel sleepy and hungry and my head is SO CLEAR like that said. It was amazing. I am going to a MA meeting today, quite excited. Yay. Be careful, I have lived  2 years with this syndrome and I can’t wait to live life without nausea, cold and hot sweats, weakness, cancelled plans one after another, ER visits that are embarrassing, and the inability to enjoy the high I was getting what was the point. I probably felt high maybe once every few days. Tolerance came in waves, sometimes it was constant, sometimes I had no tolerance and didn’t have to smoke more to enjoy. I thought ok, only 4 puffs at night will do the trick, and I won’t get sick any longer. Nope. I have to quit for at least 90 days to confirm this diagnosis, but I read that once a person with CHS returns to pot, the symptoms come right back. Other people with this illness, in fact most, shower constantly to help symptoms.I get so hot and sweaty that I can’t imagine a hot shower doing anything but make me more sick. Some people shower like all the whole time they are up with exhorbitant electric and water bills. In the ER many patients beg for the shower, saying thier hot water ran out. I don’t have that symptom, nor the pain in my stomach, and most people with CHS do have those symptoms, so I didn’t want to believe I have it. However, at day 5 I feel amazing. AMAZING. Thank you God for helping me get sober from pot. All these months I just kept telling myself “ok, some other thing will show up as what caused this problem I had so many expensive tests done but the ER docs all told me they know what I have. The last experience in the ER made me realize, hey they aren’t gonna keep helping me and they will start thinking I am an ativan addict. Two of them asked that in the last month. Also, when I bouht a vape pen last month instead  of my once a month Er visit, where I can’t get un nauseated with my 5 nausea drugs (what they give cancer patients) and then instead of my monthly visit i had 3 visits in one month!! That was the bottom and proof  for me. That proved I am poisoning my body with marijuana and I have to quit. I have cancelled so much in life due to this constant batttle with nausea and anxiety. Sometimes the anxiety brought on nausea. And vice versa. I know anxiety comes from bud too, but I didn’t want to believe it. I kept telling the ER docs, but I don’t have the shower thing, I don’t have pain in my abdomen. They replied “it can just be nausea and vomiting.” one doc offered to give me capsaisan cream for my belly. I’m like ok, i’m pouring sweat here. Why would I put on something that adds heat? When I got in the room my last visit 4 nights ago the nurse said first thing “if you are here for ativan you aren’t getting it.” I told her it’s the only thing that works when my nausea meds won’t work, and that that is what they have given me in the past. in fact 2 weeks ago at this hospital. She said, “not this doctor!” I had gone to a diff hospital for it 2 weeks prior (trying to avoid being treated like a drug seeker but it didn’t work) so she said that WE just saw you, and now you are back for more ativan? No. It isn’t a nausea drug anyway. I asked for the doc telling her that I forgot to ask him for the Ativan. When he came in and told me let’s start with an IV and some nausea drugs.  She said i will tell him but he’s not giving it to you. For 4 hours I sat in that room with only an IV fluid and half dose of one of the drugs I’d already maxed out on before i came in!! Finally after I’d already rippped out my iv to go to another Er, they said ok, we are gonna give you the ativan. I know it’s because my tests showed my metabolic panel was all out of whack, my heart rate only 45. i was dehydrated too. So I guess since the tests showed i’d taken all the meds i told them, and no drugs in my system but pot, they must have needed that info in order to give me the ativan. Then the other nurse said the doc was going to give it to you but since you ripped out your iv you must feel better. I said no, i just wanted to get started on my wait at ANOTHER ER. I begged to see the doc, told him I’d never ripped out an iv, please help me, i am so sick and I have to wait all over again and drive dangerously to get there, as it had been 17 hours since i was able to eat. He finally gave me a pill form of it, and told security to follow me to make sure I get into a cab so do not drive your car home! It cost 40 bucks for the cab!! Then I had to take 3 buses to get to that hospital next day to get my car in the heat I live in Arizona. I’m sure almost no one read this, but if you did I hope it helps someone else who may be going through the same thing. That visit scared the pot out of me. I will keep getting treated this way if i don’t quit. I realized I’d been lucky I got so much help for this long and NOT treated like a benzo drug seeker but I can’t press my luck. If I am causing my own sickness the empathy is gonna go out the door eventually. I played dumb about CHS every time I was seen, and told them, but i don’t shower for hours and i don’t get stomach or abdomen pain, it cant’ be the pot!! Day 5 and I am SO ALIVE. I hope this helped anyone who may not know why they are so sick. Love you all please pray for me my gorgeous followers. xoxooxoxo The good life is the one without drugs. AT 52 I may finally be able to exercise, sleep, eat and love life. Some things I haven’t been able to do enough, too sick. Not to mention my friends and family and I having to cancel so many plans over and over to where they stopped trying!! Plus since pot tells us, it’s ok to live in my own little world my little bubble no one can come into because it will kill my high and since I am sick all the time i don’t even bother to try to hang out with friends. I am going to a meeting today MA, marijuana anonyomous, finally to be around a group of people with something in common with me, and I cant wait. BTW it usually takes a good 3-5 years of daily use to get this, and if I return to using it will come right back. God Bless You