#with my meds or my doctors not forgetting to send in scripts

[bunnyb34r]

And so it begins...

Having severe mood swings and lots of anxiety bc my doctor fucked up one of my meds and I don't get more for another two weeks

It's a delayed release tablet but I only have 4 pills to last me 15 days so I cut them in half and am taking 1/2 every OTHER day and (: this is so fun (: today's a no pill day so yaaaay :)

[golbrocklovely]

Hi love, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about everything with your mom but I’m glad to hear she’s doing a bit better! I know it all must be exhausting and scary but you are so so strong. Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well! I’m sending all positive vibes and well wishes your way ❤️

And I’m glad that you plan to sue the temporary doctor. They fucked up incredibly and it could’ve ended badly and that would’ve been on their hands. Someone like that should be nowhere near any job in healthcare. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I’m hoping everything looks up from here 💕

thank you so much, anon. my mom is basically back to her normal self now, which is a full blown miracle after the past couple days.

and yeah, we have to sue this doctor. the fact my mom could have died bc of his negligence… he has to be punished in some way. the fact is, even now, the scripts STILL aren't filled. and it's been over a week, going on two, since my mom had medicine to his knowledge. he doesn't know she went to the hospital and got the pills from there.

and i get that both my mom's actual doctor, my mom herself, and then this temporary one all want her wained off of this medicine. that's fine. but cold-turkeying anxiety meds is not something you can do. her primary doctor even said if she stopped taking them she would have seizure, and it happened.

but things are looking up. my mom is so much better, basically back to normal. she's still a bit foggy and doesn't remember most of the past week, but i'll count that as a win in my book bc she's alive and well.

[sam-the-pancake]

Saw a post talking about how you're never too young for a disability or illness or to need a mobility aid and we wanted to talk about our experiences. (It got longer than I was planning. I have more I could say but I managed to fuck up my thumb typing this on my phone and I know if I save this as a draft I'll forget it exists).

We were 8ish the first time we fainted. Nothing was thought of it or done. We fainted twice more between then and when we were 14 and fainted at summer camp. I have a feeling that if it hadn't happened at camp in front of a bunch of adults (who are mandated reporters) that my parents still wouldn't have done anything about it.

Following that time at camp our parents brought us to a bunch of doctors and had tests done. I don't remember much of it, but what I do remember is the neurologist. He was the last doctor we saw and he basically said "nothing's wrong just drink more water and electrolytes". So our mother started buying Gatorade and coconut water for us, but it didn't help much. It stopped it from being terrible, but it didn't make it completely better. By this point I was walking around the house with my vision fully blacking out every time I stood up to go to a different room.

When I was 16 the exercise intolerance was so bad that I couldn't work out anymore. I quit the rowing team that I had loved. I am almost certain that if I had been involved in a different sport that I would have had to quit sooner. I learned just a few years ago that rowing is an exercise that is more tolerable for exercise intolerance, like a recumbent bike. I got "lucky" in a way.

When I was 19? 20? and living alone at college I took matters into my own hands and told the nurse on campus (an amazing woman) that I believe I have EDS and POTS and want to see a specialist. She didn't really know about either disorder but she looked them up with me and decided to refer me to a cardiologist and a neurologist. In the few years since then they've both run many tests and found "nothing wrong". I convinced my cardiologist to send me for a tilt table test and of course that came back inconclusive.

When I was 21 I started using a cane anytime I left the house. I don't actually use it for balance but to reduce pressure on my lower joints when they're in pain, and day-to-day to reduce fatigue. If I don't use my cane I won't make it through the work day without my fatigue and back pain becoming crippling to the point that I can't sit up anymore.

In the last 6months I found an amazing GP who heard my story and decided to get shit done. She sent me to a physical therapist (also an amazing woman), got bloodwork to prescribe me various meds that are actually helping, got me on a waiting list to see an EDS specialist, and sent me to a sleep expert. At my most recent appointment I asked if we could talk about her possibly prescribing a wheelchair and she immediately said yes and wrote the script. Between her, my PT, and Gary the wheelchair guy from NuMotion's help I'm now waiting to hear if insurance is going to cover it.

I'm in my early 20's and I can't cut or mix my own food. I get home from my teaching job and I take a nap then eat the dinner my (also disabled) partner made, and then go to sleep for the night. I don't have a social life. I don't have the energy to do more than one thing in a day. Saturdays we do laundry and Sundays we grocery shop. That's what my weekend is. Sometimes if I have extra energy on a Saturday I can shower too. People don't talk about it much but struggling with personal hygiene is a major issue I have due to my disabilities. I started taking "cat baths" when I was less than 12 (washing the important bits with a washcloth while sitting on the toilet/floor). My sensory issues due to being autistic also affect this and make it hard for me to shower even when I do have the physical energy.

When I started physical therapy, my physical therapist asked what my goals are, long term or short term. I said I want to be able to shred my portion of chicken and mix it into the rice myself when we have dinner. My secret goal is to be able to do it for my partner as well so they can rest after cooking. I said my long term goal is to be able to rock climb again, but I understand that that might never be possible for me again.

I'm not even 25 and I'm mourning the loss of every interest I've ever had other than reading, and even holding a big book open is too much for my hands sometimes. I cannot live independently. I'm lucky that I have a low impact job that pays well enough for me to support myself and my partner. They can't work but they're able to take care of the housework and cooking and moving groceries and other necessities that I can't do myself. I try not to think about the future because I don't know what a progression of my disabilities would mean for our ability to live away from our abusers parents.

[celiaelise]

I think I need to revamp my whole psych med regimen, (cocktail) but i can't really do that rn because I barely have a psychiatrist!

Like, I do, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to see her anymore. My new insurance doesn't cover her, and she like regularly seems to forget who I am? At every appointment she reads aloud from her notes from my last appointment, as if they were a script. And then she writes new notes and reads them aloud as she writes them, and asked me if that's correct when she's done doing so, as if I'm a college course and not a human person. She'll only ask about those specific points in her notes, and then occasionally address broad generic topics like "social life", "work", "home life", "family".

Like, I don't think a doctor who actually listens to and converses with me is too much to ask lol.

But like, even if I picked out a new doctor today, which I'm not going to do because I have shit going on, who knows how long it would be until she could see me, and then I have to go through the whole onboarding process, and who knows how long that would take too!

I'd also like to have my previous two psychs send the files that they have on me, just cause I feel like more information is usually better, and that would probably take a while too.

[vikireedphotography]

The Cigar Is All You See

THE CIGAR IS ALL YOU SEE

First, do no TV:  how badly do you want to make it in Hollywood, doctor?  

FADE IN:

I/E.

A HOTEL BANQUET ROOM/OUTSIDE ENTRANCE-NIGHT

An EASEL holds a foam board telling us that inside the dark room-twinkling with spores of glittery tables, is the 2021 American Board of Radiology Conference.

Photos of two men are the evening’s GUEST SPEAKERS:  GREG CRANDON, 53 and BEN HAMMIL, 52.  Crandon is a bit pale, thinning hair on top scalp, bulging but happy eyes. He is posing with TV actor MATT KISLEYAK, 54. Matt is charismatic, and wears his TV-doctor’s uniform, Crandon is ‘on-set’ with Kisleyak and posing with an arm is around the shorter Crandon.  Under the photo it reads:

“Radiology Consultant to Hollywood, Greg Crandon (with “Med Lives” star, Matt Kisleyak).  The second photo is Hammil, who looks more like a TV star than a radiologist. Tall, long reddish hair. His photo depicts the smiling Hammill standing on a Ted Talk stage pointing and smiling.  It’s captioned: “Welcome Ted Talk Keynote Speaker on AI and Radiology, Ben Hammil of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles”  

INT. BANQUET ROOM/BEYOND THE EASEL & SIGN-SIMULTANEOUSLY

In a reverse fractal, Dr. Ben Hammil is on-stage, preaching new gospel.

BEN

Twenty-two years in radiology. I’ve missed things. You know what sees everything? Machine learning. Check this out.

Ben lifts a POWERPOINT REMOTE AND CLICKS!

A massive projection screen behind Hammil fills with what looks like a photo quilt of chipmunk faces (tight crops of just the eyes, nose and whiskered mouth).  

BEN (CONT’D)

Chipmunks. Cute. Sixteen-hundred chipmunk faces. Do you see the cat?

CUT TO:

VIP TABLE/ORCHESTRA SEAT LOCALE-CONTINUOUS SOUND OF: BEN HAMMIL’S VOICE-CONSTANTLY.

Greg in a slightly old-school tux joins his wife, ANDREA, 47.  

In trying so hard to look younger, she forgets to be young. Everyone but the WIVES in the room are fixed on Hammil’s presentation.

ANDREA

(To Greg)

Can you get Matt’s autograph for Penny?  

Andrea’s body language tightens after she notices cocaine on his nose. She grabs a napkin, wipes it. No one sees the coke.  Just her ‘mothering’ him.

Fellow attendee and table-mate LEO, 42, now distracted.

LEO

(To Greg)

You missed Hammil’s award.

GREG Oh well.

LEO

Saw his Ted Talk. I played golf with him-played near him.

GREG

It’s just a tool, this software. A computer can’t deliver bad news or hold a box of Kleenex.

Greg gestures to a passing SERVER for another round of drinks.  He pivots to PENNY, 36, pretty, blond trophy wifetwo small children later.

GREG (CONT’D) Penny? I’ll get you Matt’s autograph.  I’m going to the studio tomorrow.

Penny is electrified. She points at Ben and announces to all:

PENNY

Out of everyone tonight he’s the most interesting and ground-level.

She catches herself when she sees Greg’s reaction.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD SOUNDSTAGE/PRODUCTION OFFICE FOR “MED LIVES”NEXT DAY

Greg drives his bronze BMW convertible to the GUARD-GATE. A familiar GUARD, 39, waves him through.

Moments later, Greg strides, getting tanner the closer he gets to the the SOUNDSTAGE DOOR. He glides past Matt Kisleyak’s RED FERRARRI. It’s parked next to the door. A sign designates: “Reserved for Matt Kisleyak/Med Lives.  

CUT TO:

INT.

SOUNDSTAGE FOR “MED LIVES”-CONTINUOUS

It’s a magical forest of cables, wisteria hanging lights, cameras, crew, fake hospital sets, ACTORS in costume, CRAFT

SERVICES TABLE loaded with EVERYTHING you could ever want. Willy Wonka time.

KEN (O.C.) Dr.Crandon?

KEN GOLDISH, 37, is one of the show’s Producers. Greg wheels in the direction of his voice.

CONT.

The two walk a hallway lined with POSTERS of MED LIVES’ CAST in character. Ken is ahead and faster.

GREG

(Holding a zip drive and script.)

I have the notes on the next show. Just a few minor details.

Ken turns to see Greg brandishing his work.

KEN

(Takes the thumb-drive.) Keep the script.

They stop at the last door.

What did Matt want to see me for?

KEN

(Knocks twice) He’ll tell you.

CUT TO:

INT.

MATT’S OFFICE-FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

Greg is seated next to Matt’s desk. The blinds are closed, the only light comes from a large computer monitor.

As Matt sits and shares the glow with Greg you see an unbelievably photogenic man.

GREG

(Staring and smiling at Matt.)

This isn’t ideal. You should send the full study to my office at the hospital.

MATT

Not gonna happen. It’s a favor for a good friend. I’m looking out for him. A secret second-opinion.

Greg nods into gear with a deep breath.

CUT TO:

30 MINUTES LATER-

The star is opening the blinds. He turns around and saws his palm into Greg’s personal space.

MATT

Thanks so much for doing this.

GREG

I’m sure it’s not what you wanted to hear. Your friend definitely has stage-four lung cancer. I couldn’t tell more without labs, biopsies-

Greg stands to meet Matt’s goodbye shake.

MATT

Keep this between us?

Matt opens door. Greg pulls the rolled MED LIVES script out of his suit pocket.

GREG

I’m sorry, but a friend of my wife’s..

MATT

(Grabbing a pen.) What’s her name?

GREG

Penny. Thanks for that. I never ask, but the wife...

MATT

Got it. Hey, I’m hosting a celebrity golf tourney this weekend at Hillcrest Country Club. For Children’s Hospital. You play?

CUT TO:

INT. GREG’S HOME OFFICE, WOODLAND HILLS,CA-NEXT EVENING

A man-cave with no man. It resembles a furniture store display. The only indicator of human occupancy is a box of Just For Men hair dye. He stands before a full-length mirror wearing new golf-wear. Looks a little ‘back to school’.

PRICE TAGS are strewn at his feet.  He snips the last tag from his BELT.

CLOSE ON: BELT/SCISSORS THE TAG READS $169.00. After a snip, it flutters down onto his new shoes. It’s quiet until-

ANDREA (O.C.)

Christ. You could go as Tiger Woods for Halloween.

GREG

Not really funny. Did you want something?

ANDREA

(Sour.)

Dinner. It’s here.

(Taking a last look, then starts to undress.) Good. I’m hungry.

FADE OUT:

EXT. HILLCREST COUNTRY CLUB-FOLLOWING MORNING

The celebrity event buzzes, it feels like a Christmas tree you could live-in.

INT. HILLCREST DINING ROOM-CONTINUOUS

Cacophonous. Seen from above, Greg disappears into a crowd of

JOURNALISTS, CELEBS, TV CAMERAS, FAMILIES OF PEDIATRIC CANCER PATIENTS, BUSY STAFF, CLUB MEMBERS and people dressed like PEANUTS CARTOON CHARACTERS.

A BANNER ABOVE AN EMPTY PODIUM AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM READS:

“Children’s Hospital Of Los Angeles Annual Celebrity Golf Event 2021”

Hearing Matt from behind a potted tree he eagerly rounds the corner.

It’s Matt with Ben Hammil and a few others. Laughing. Drinking.

GREG (TO SELF) Fucking guy...

Matt turns around. Seeing Greg, he’s not unhappy but there’s no reward in seeing him. Greg bounds over, socially awkward in Ben’s presence.

MATT

(To the group.)

This is Greg Crandon. He’s the Doc who makes Dr. Morrow sound like he went to medical school. Hey, Greg, this is one of your radiologist tribal members: Ben Hammil.

GREG

Yeah, we shared a bill at a radiology convention last week. I was keynote.

BEN

It was actually fun. Like an extended Ted Talk.

ANOTHER MAN IN THE GROUP Oh, that’s where I know you from!

MATT

Greg we’re doing a Four Man Cha Cha Cha wager; the losing team coughs up forty-K for the charity. You’re in, right?

GREG

Forty? It’s in my car.

The group laughs.

GREG (CONT'D) Will you excuse me?

Greg breaks away and rushes to the MEN’S BATHROOM.

CUT TO:

INT. HILLCREST DINING ROOM-TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Most of the crowd spills onto the fairway path, outside. Greg hustles to catch-up.

CUT TO:

EXT. FAIRWAY PATH-CONTINUOUS

Greg approaches the REGISTRATION TABLE.

An ATTRACTIVE SWEDISH FEMALE CLUB STAFFER, 23, is dispensing Team Badges, which are mounted on a valet’s keyboard behind her.  The teams are named after Peanuts Characters.  Greg squints to see the SNOOPY Team, which is led by Matt.

FEMALE STAFFER (O.S.) Good morning! What’s your name?

GREG

Greg Crandon? I think I’m a Snoopy, on Matt’s team.

FEMALE STAFFER

Here you are.  You’re a LINUS!

Matt invited me personally, I’m sure I’m a Snoopy.

FEMALE STAFFER It’s a perfect day for a game, you’ll have a great time.

The Staffer dangles the Linus Team badge. Greg takes it.

As he approaches, A GOLF CART WHIRRS away: Ben Hamill is the driver, Matt’s his co-pilot.

They leave a wake in the COLLECTIVE MEDIA bush they pass.

CUT TO:

INT. GREG'S BEDROOM-2 DAYS LATER-EARLY MORNING

He’s on his back, snoring.

ANDREA (O.C.)

Get up! Get up! Matt’s dead! Greg! Wake up!

GREG

(Slowly waking.) What are you talking about?

Andrea turns on the bedroom TV.  Live local news broadcasts the scene outside of Matt Kisleyak’s home in Malibu.

CUT TO:

CLOSE ON:  POLICE TAPE, BODIES BEING ROLLED TO THE CORONER’S VAN.  

The CAPTION READS: “MATT KISLEYAK, STAR OF ‘MED LIVES’,

BELOVED HOLLYWOOD STAR, WIFE AND SON DEAD: SUSPECTED CARBON MONOXIDE POISONING...”

GREG No! What?

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD SOUNDSTAGE/SECURITY GUARD GATE-1 HOUR LATER

Flowers and memorials nearly block the entrance.  

GREG

I have to see Ken Goldish.

GUARD

No one on the lot today without approval. Given what’s happened I cannot do anything. Have Ken call me. Turn around and go park on the street.

Stressed, Greg scrapes his BMW on a concrete safety stanchion.

CUT TO:

INT. KEN GOLDISH’S OFFICE-15 MINUTES LATER

Ken is on the phone with Greg, while multitasking.  A MEMORIAL VIDEO is playing on the production monitor in his office. People on-set and walking by the open door weep.

KEN

(Puts Greg on

SPEAKERPHONE)

The show is obviously going to shutdown until the writers find an appropriate way through Matt’s death. Listen, we can’t have people talking to the press about what Matt did.

GREG (O.S.) What did he do?

KEN

His son, Liam’s cancer. You know, you saw his MRI.

GREG (O.S.)

He said it was a friend of his.

KEN

No. Liam collapsed at college. He’s been living at Children’s Hospital on and on for months. I don’t know if Lily chose to die but everyone was drugged and he closed the windows and messed with his central air...No more pain.

GREG (O.S.)

Can I call you when the show is back up? I think I have an angle on

AI-

KEN

Seriously not the time.  I gotta go. I’ll let you know about the memorial if you want, okay? Bye.

CUT TO:

INT. GREG'S HOME OFFICE AGAIN-ONE HOUR LATER

Greg saunters through his open office door head-down.

The sound of a GARDENER BLOWING LEAVES IN THE FRONT YARD IS A CONSTANT.

ANDREA (O.S.)

(Popped like a cork.) What did you do?

Andrea is sitting at his DESK; it’s littered with the golf clothing TAGS, the autographed script, she’s been rummaging.

GREG My desk..

ANDREA

I answered your office line.

Children’s Hospital Charity Committee something or other called to say they can’t refund your fortythousand dollar donation but they’d be happy to provide you with a tax form so you can declare it.  Were you trying to impress Matt Kisleyak?

GREG Be quiet.

She throws the price tags at his face.

She sits at his desk and lifts the office phone receiver.

ANDREA

I’m calling that charity and telling them you can’t be held responsible because you have a drug problem and I will sue them if they don’t return the forty-thousand.

She dials the Charity’s number, taking it from the tax form.

GREG

I’m warning you-

ANDREA

Now you’re a man, right?

Greg walks towards her, automatically, instinctively. She backs-up to get space between them.  

Now they’re both behind his desk.

GREG

We’re are so done.

In one freakish rage he grabs his office chair and swings it at Andrea. The wheeled feet break her jaw as she drops to the floor.

Greg tosses the chair aside blood from the wheels casts off all over the MED LIVES SCRIPT.  He stands over the whimpering disoriented Andrea and begins to stomp her into a near coma.

He continues as we FADE OUT.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD-45 MINUTES LATER

Greg is walking up HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD.  Another sunny day.

Surrounded by TOURISTS, WORKERS, WALKERS, SHOPPERS, and CHARACTER ACTORS hawking for tips dressed as DEAD HOLLYWOOD. They appear to be moving on a giant treadmill.

MOMENTS LATER-

The WALK OF FAME STARS peel away under Greg’s feet until he see’s Matt Kisleyak’s STAR with a growing memorial. He looks down at the bloodied LIVES MED SCRIPT UNDER HIS ARM.

Greg enter a crosswalk against traffic.

FLASHBACK TO:

THE ABR CONFERENCE-BEN HAMMIL’S SPEECH ABOUT PERCEPTION.

SEE: IMAGE OF THE BRICK WALL WITH A CIGAR PINCHED IN-BETWEEN TWO-BRICKS.

BEN

At the top we see a garden variety red brick. All of it’s -

RETURN TO PRESENT-HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD HEARING HAMILL’S VOICE.

BEN (V.O.)

-flaws, pores, grit and different colors up close. So many facets and defects.  Below that image we see a brick wall.  However once I tell you that there’s a cigar stuck in that wall? That’s pretty much all you see now. Humans make a choice, AI just sees everything...

CLOSE ON:  TRAFFIC LIGHT ‘DON’T WALK’ SIGNAL.

Greg quickly turns around and RUNS into traffic.

SOUND OF:  SCREECHING TIRES. A SICK BANG AND CRACKING THUD. CARS REAR-ENDING. HORNS.

CUT TO:

CLOSE ON:  THE AUTOGRAPHED ‘MED LIVES’ SCRIPT. BLOODIER, ON THE SIDEWALK.  

A MAN, 29, GRABS IT AMIDST THE CHAOS BEHIND HIM.

MAN

(Into his cel phone.) Bae?  I have some good news and better news.  You know how Matt Kisleyak croaked today? I’m the proud owner of an script autographed by him. YES. The better news is it’s covered in blood.

FADE OUT.

[iceinherheart-kissonherlips]

steven moffat appreciation week || day #1. favourite doctor: female doctor

Am I cheating here? Maybe. But do I care? Not really. Listen, to be honest, Eleven is my favourite Doctor of Moffat’s era. But I’ve done gifsets for him a few times and this time I thought that I want to do something different. Then I thought: huh, is there any other Doctor I really, really freaking love? Hell yes, there is. Maybe not actually the Doctor, but the concept of the female Doctor that was so strongly present during Moffat’s era. You don’t believe me? Well, let’s see:

- Missy aka Mary Poppins who forgot to take her meds, the one who went utterly bananas and one who thinks so outside the box that the box is in a completely different galaxy. Slowly introduced throughout s8, she blew up in the last two episodes, causing complete mayhem and leaving destruction wherever she put her little trigger-happy finger. She’s absolutely mad, but you can’t help but root for her. She’s capable of exactly the same things as the Doctor, but instead of choosing to do good, she chooses to be unapologetically wretched - and yet she does it with charm and a song on her lips. Was regenerating Simm!Master into a woman a bold move? Heck yes - especially considering how loved by many that regeneration was. Was the change successful - fuck yeah. Missy is not only as kooky (if not more) as her previous regenerations, but she’s definitely far more scary - at least for me. You never know what she’s going to do next and that is simply delightful. To make things better, she changes throughout the 3 series she’s in - but she still remains the same insane ball of madness. Incredible, eh?

- Clara Oswin Oswald. Where do I start with Clara? Well, to start with, she’s absolutely perfect. Wait. No, she isn’t and that’s absolutely amazing. But let’s not talk about that, but let’s focus how much she changed during her time as the Doctor’s companion. From the young girl who was often terrified/emotional in the beggining (’cold war’ or ‘hide’ come to mind), she becomes a woman who takes the role of the Doctor more than once: ‘flatline’ where she saves a group of people and behaves/thinks exactly like the Doctor. Let’s not forget about ‘dark water’ where she is ready to manipulate/drug/hurt her best friend to make him do what she wants. And how about ‘death in heaven’ where she lies in the face of the Cybermen, pretending to be the Doctor? Our little girl is a little girl no more. And how does her story end? She takes her life into her own hands: she gambles on her memories - she keeps them and then she leaves in her own TARDIS, with her own girlfriend companion. Doctor Oswald, am I right?

- River Song. Do I even need to say anything here? I do? Oh,okay. Let’s see: child of the TARDIS. Human+. Able to regenerate. Strong enough to rip her way out of a enhanced astronaut suit (and she was just a child then). Fought years of programming and training, and disobeyed orders of her makers: she choose to love instead of hate. Can fly the TARDIS - and does it the right way. Walks in and out of Stormcage like it’s freaking bed and breakfast. Takes the Doctor’s TARDIS for a spin whenever she feels like it (and he doesn’t even notices it). Strong and capable af. Daleks fear her. Instead of sitting in Stormcage waiting for her release, she actively works for her pardon. As smart as the Doctor - she builds a distress beacon and sends a message outside the bubble of frozen time. Travels the universe without the Doctor, marries people all over the places, steals shit and has fun. Basically, she does what she wants and she’s fierce af.

- Thirteenth Doctor. But wait, I hear you saying. She is Chibnall’s Doctor. Moffat had nothing to do with that! Really? You think? Don’t you think that without Moffat’s work and him proving over and over again that women are as capable of being the Doctor as men - we would have Jodie as the next Doctor? Maybe. But I kind of doubt it. And it’s not just a case of Moffat writing his main characters that way - there are also small things like Missy mentioning that the Doctor was once a little girl, Amy being able to construct something akin to a sonic screwdriver or putting in a script a white man regenerating into a black woman. And also... Let’s go back to 1999, shall we? 

[the-mira-life-project-mtf]

LGBT - CALLING AN H.R.T. CLINIC

My Transgender Journey

   February was supposed to be the month I was looking forward to:

‘Call on the first, get the earliest appointment. Come prepared and prepare to live out my dream!’

   However, 26 days went by and I played a cruel game of gamble. I had time to think deep about my decisions, weigh the consequences and dwell the many possibilities. I kept telling myself:

‘H.R.T. can’t switch your gender, it is DNA! All I would be doing is putting on organic prosthetic’s.’

   I wanted this to go away, I wanted to forget that I ever looked at the possibility to transform my body into half-female half-male! The story of my life! On the 24th of February, I came close to dialing, but it was Saturday and I never call on Saturday to businesses. I did whatever I had to do to run away, I wasn’t confined to dwell in my thoughts and device...hell, it was snowing and that was the biggest distraction I could ever have! By the 26th of February, fate took a cruel turn as my cystic fibrosis landed my ass in the hospital and I thought to myself:

 ‘Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide...call the number and let’s get this over with...’

     But I made up some lame excuse and by the time I had a change of heart, it was too late! They were closed!

   The 27th dawned on a crummy day to match my crummy health...I was suffering...really sick! Virus is killing me, and I wish it was John Malkovich! By 1pm, I landed in bed, miserable and depressed. I took a shower and saw my body because my body failed me and made standing nearly impossible! I looked at my AA-cup breasts...a gift from odd biology and years on prednisone. I looked at my skin and thought:

‘If I was on H.R.T. these breasts would form correctly...they look like shield volcanoes of Hawaii! I might also have to shave only once a week instead every other day! How that would be nice!’

   I closed my hospital room door thinking:

‘I am terrified of my parents...I can never do this at home! This is the best and worst time to do this!’

   Back in bed before I kiss the floor, I take out my tablet and cellphone and find the number to Cedar River Clinics. I take a deep breath and punch in the numbers and shake my head thinking:

‘Do this and there is no turning back. Don’t do it and regret it forever! They will know my deepest secret and desires...maybe they can help me and put me on the correct path…’

   Hit send, I can’t believe I am going through with the plan. I just pray no nurse walks in on my conversation! The phone cuts immediately to a receptionist and she sounds nice and helpful.

   “Thank you for calling Cedar River Clinics, my name is Destiny, how may I assist you?”

   “Hi Destiny, my name is David and I am calling in regard to setting up an appointment for H.R.T.” I say as I am calm and collective...last time I called I was stumbling over my words and incoherent.

   “The hormone replacement therapy?” Destiny asks as she wonders if I am calling for an honest procedure or inquiry. Her voice still friendly.

   “That is correct, H.R.T...” I say as Destiny goes through her files, hearing them crackle over the phone.

   “Looks like the next opening is in April...” she says as she collects her thoughts. “It will be at the Tacoma office.”

   My stomach does a flip flop and the words can’t come out. I am terrified! I force myself to reply. “Which day in April?” I ask as every last word is projected on breathless lips, sounding like: Which day in Apri....?

   “The 12th.” she says to my joy. I have nothing on the 12th and my mom will be at work! Secrecy upheld!

   “That will work!” I say, the last word barely squeaking out.

   “It is at 8:30am in Tacoma...after the first appointment, you can choose your own clinic...”

   “Tacoma works well!” I reply quickly, I had hoped to go to Tacoma as it was close to home and I will get to know the doctor taking care of me.

   “So you want to schedule for that appointment?” she asks softly and cheerfully. I know that the next words will place me on the path.

   “Yes please!” I say, matching her attitude. I swear my voice changed and my demeanor altered to something that is not me…it was a flutter!

   “Okay David...” there is a pause as if she made a cardinal sin. “I am sorry, I should have asked, do you have a female name you go by?”

   I choke up...I did not think this out all the way! I was not expecting this type of personal questions. What do I say? Think quickly! I am in anguish, one does not pick their name in a flash!

   A name spoke to me in my female voice saying: Tell her Mira! Tell her that your name is Mira!

   I love the name Mira; the word almost slipped out. It means so much to my character...it was my secret name…

(Mira is a feminine given name with varying meanings. In the Romance languages, it is related to the Latin words for ‘wonder’ and 'wonderful.’ In South Slavic languages, it means ‘peace’ and is often used as part of a longer name, such as Miroslava (masculine form: Miroslav). In Albanian language, it means ‘goodness’ or ‘kindness’. In Sanskrit, it means ‘ocean’, ‘sea’, ‘limit’ or ‘boundary’. In Hebrew, it is a derivative of Miriam or the female equivalent of Meir, meaning ‘light’.)

   Mira was all of me, a daughter of wonder and peace as my soul is at peace in her form. Also meaning goodness and kindness which is a testimony to my charity and civil service. And lastly, the one from the sea...another one of my deep ocean secrets.

   I hesitate as I stop myself and I am sure now that Destiny thinks I am a fraud! “Just David at this time, I am still deciding on the name aspect.” my brutal honesty coming out. “Any other name would be dangerous in this hostile society...” as my brain says:

‘Shut up, you already made yourself sound like a fool!’

   “It is totally understandable David, do you prefer going by sir?” she asks.

   I can hear Admiral Gial Ackbar yelling ‘It’s a Trap!’ in my head. That is exactly what it was, a trap to assess my commitment to the therapy. “Just sir please.” my animus chimes in and I hate myself. I am neither, but I’ve never vocally told anyone that before. “For the time being…”

   “Okay David,” her tone changed, not angry, just unsure of my call. Most who call either are in transition or know what they want to become, “Typically transgender individuals change their name for legal reasons like new licenses and bank records...” she rambles on as it goes over my head.

   ‘Oh! You screwed up big time!’ my brain mocks me. It takes in delight knowing it was right. I can’t believe Destiny is still on the line with me. I must sound really new at this and she probably wonders why now? “Okay David, I just need an address...” and I chime off my home code.

   When it comes to saying my town, she laughs as the name is rather musical, like a gay French ‘la-la’. I sigh a breath of relief as I feel I am recovering from probably the easiest question to answer...your female name! “And a phone number.” she asks and I give my cell...best to have no one calling home, that would be suicide!

   Coming to the end, my nerves are a wreck! “For your patient records, please provide us a pin...”

   “How long?” I ask.

   “As long as you want it...” she says kindly.

   “Letters or numbers?” I ask.

   “Anything you want...” she say, annoyed, but being polite!

   “Okay, my pin is four numbers, 1…9…8…0” I say, easy to remember.

   “Wonderful, now onto the appointment. We ask that you fast for 10 hours prior to your appointment” being 11:30pm on the 11th...perfect time! “And drink plenty of water! But no coffee.”

   “Copy that!” I confirm.

   “That will give your body time to regulate your hormone levels for the appointment...” I gulp, that means that needles will be involved! “It is important that you don’t eat for ten hours!” she emphasizes again, meaning that this rule has been broken hundreds of times before! Luckily for me, EPI would make eating before travel...messy! “I am going to transfer you over to billing, thank you for calling David and we look forward to seeing you on the 12th.”

   “Thank you Destiny.” I reply as the line clicks and a minute passes and the line is answered. I gulp, this is what I truly fear...the price!

   “Is this David I am talking to?” the woman asks. Her vocal tones annoy me...she paints a vivid image of Roz from Monsters Inc.!

   “This is David.” I confirm, praying it isn’t over 500.00 dollars...I can’t afford that. I also don’t want my insurance in deep with them. It is odd how diagnosis’s end up in the strangest places. For example, I went to the Kitsap Mental Health clinic trying to find a way to cut my student debt by declaring myself autistic, which I am, and somehow that ended up at St. Anthony Hospital on my records!

   “Hello...David.” she says, failing to give me her name. I pictures her saying: ‘Hello...boys’, so Roz It is! “The quoted cost for the appointment is 270.00 dollars, unless you have insurance.”

   “I have Medicare-Medicaid...” I say as I give my Provider One number.

   “How odd...” she growls in her slug tongue. “I don’t see Medicaid only Medicare and we don’t take that here!”

   I won’t be deterrent, “I’ll pay the fee.” I say. My thoughts are:

270.00 for clinic and labs. A follow up appointment to read results will be an additional 170.00 and hopefully they can run my scripts through Medicare at a pharmacy of my choosing. Hell, if I can pick them up there, better! Cut out the middle man!

     But if I pick up my meds at clinic, first, all TG patients can only go on Thursdays for privacy and second, I will be held accountable...no turning back...they expect me to go through a full transformation!

[ackerbooty]

Note: If you make it to the end, know this post turned out much longer than I anticipated. And god forgive me saying and switching between opiate and opioid all over, my head is so scattered and I ... yeah.

I'm terrified.

Maybe in a way that is different from most--but it has to do with my meds. I was in a car accident when I was 17 years old, it'll be 10 years next September and I sustained a multitude of injuries:

Head injury

Glass/trauma under left eye that has led to my vision worsening in left eye

Fractured collarbone

Fractured first rib

Pnemothorax (collapsed lung) that now affects my breathing/problems with scar site

Hypersensitivity that circles around left breast and ribs

Herniated disc - back surgery in 2011 where there is now a scar with massive scar tissue

Fractured sacrum (My ass. I broke my ass.)

Fractured pelvis in 5 places

Severe damage to the sciatic nerve

All of these fractures and injuries were sustained to my left side, and continue to give me problems to this day. It was nothing I, or my family, thought and was told would be long lasting or "permanent". The orthopedic doctor, while I was still in my wheelchair and unable to walk told me I DID NEED PHYSICAL THERAPY (he was a fuckin' idiot, but that's an entirely different story that ends with me giving my mom and look and mouthing "I want it" and her nodding and saying "duh".). I was 17. I didn't know to ask questions. I didn't know what questions to ask. My herniated disc pressed on my sciatic nerve and was said to be the cause of my chronic nerve pain and that surgery would be the best route to seeing about a solution. My neurologist made me wait over a year after meeting him because I was so young and should easily gounce back and he wanted me to try more PT and go through tests. He also first wanted me to see a psychiatrist because all of this pain could be a coping mechanism.

For so long I thought I was making it up. I had no idea of what I was feeling, when my left foot would feel like it was actually catching fire when I put pressure on the heel of my foot in bed, how my last three toes on my foot were sensitive and couldn't stay warm.

Money. Money. More money. Surgery. I wake up. My settlement money gone from just trying to figure out why I was hurting when I was told I wouldn't. What was this burning sensation? Why couldn't I live without pain medication? Why was I having to tell my mother that I wasn't addicted to the pills and that I needed them.

Diagnosed: Depression/PTSD

Chronic and constant migraines

Fibromyalgia (how many times am I going to see an eye roll from people who actually do not believe I this?)

Is my story important? I'm unsure. But because of the opioid epidemic declared at the beginning of January, and even before then, I've slowly seen access to the medications I need--yes, considered controlled substances--become more difficult and harder to get. I have been lucky, but only because my pain and injuries are more than well documented and because I've plundered more than 50k into medical bills trying to fix it for documentation to exist. I've also been seeing the same doctor since my accident. This doesn't take away from the fact that I am a 25 year old depend on opiates to help my REAL and CHRONIC and CRIPPLING nerve pain/body pain/migraines/etc. I admit to being lucky in so far as you can define the word to my situation. There are those I know who are being ripped off their medications all around me--one, diagnosed for years with depression and with bipolar disorder was taken off a regime of medication that worked for him and had been a solid, study foundation he trusted and was put on a vitamin instead. Another woman had been on the same C2 classified medication for almost 30 years and was taken off of it without any warning, and was sent to a pain management clinic without any help for detoxification and given a prescription for Naproxen.

I am on Medicaid. While working to get my Bachelors degree, I could not work and this is how I've had to support my medical bills. I am grateful, so very grateful for the help this provided me in getting the medical care I cannot afford, but it is also difficult to have medication approved for use. If a dosage is deemed too high or because of the brand, or because of what it is--an opiate medication--I am to try another first.

I haven't had anything taken from me. Not yet.

So why am I scared?

This was the first time, after being prescribed a new medication by my doctor that we were both enthusiastic about helping my quality of life, the insurance company faxed my doctor a form of six other medications I had to try before I could try what my doctor had given me. This could easily be an experience of someone else's, but before my doctor could tell them simply, "No, she has been on this before. She has developed a tolerance/it did not work./etc. and I could usually get what I needed. Like Movantik. TMI or just a lesson for you, because we all have biological functions that are kind of icky, but those of us who are dependent on opioid medication to just survive a damn day without a little bit of pain have a hard freakin' time pooping. Movantik is a medication specifically targeted at opiate induced constipation and while it can be hard on your stomach, it is a god send for me when I'm having a difficult time using the toilet. There are a few kinks, so to say with it, but I cried when I saw there was something like this finally on the market. My insurance tried to basically give me a prescription for Miralax. I have these two big ass--I'm unsure if that's a pun intended to make some of you guys still with me have a good giggle--bottles of Miralax powder that ... mm ...

I've been on medication since I was still considered a teenager. For me, at least, this treatment is not helpful on its own. It makes me cramp and is painful because it does not do enough of what it is supposed to do--as in, it does not bring enough moisture back into my stool so I can easily go to the bathroom.

So I'm scared.

I'm finally back home.

After seven years I have finally graduated. So I'm closer to my doctor's office and we can finally get me onto a medication that better suits my needs than what I'd been given.

I'm put on Embeda. With is a medication that is "higher tech" and "tamper proof". It's an extended release medication that is Morphine Sulfate with 1.2 mg naltrexone hydrochloride. I am currently on a 30 mg dose. I've been on Morphine Sulfate before that was described as a more dangerous medication and one that is considered easier to abuse than this one here. I can't be put on Morphine Sulfate because once my body decides to become dependent on a medication, it sure doesn't like being put back on it in any shape or form.

I was so happy to be put on my intended medication before given this, but I was still hopeful. It's difficult to find something that works and I have a cautious doctor--which I'm not complaining about, thank god--who starts me out on a lower dose so we see how I react. We usually always have to go up. It's all in all, what one could typically chalk up to as a long day. Tiresome. But necessary. Something I'm willing to go through because this is the only thing that has been able to give me any sort of quality of life. I combine it with exercise, acupuncture treatments, and constant chiropractic care (the last two of which are not covered by Medicaid).

But why am I scared? Why have I taken up this much room on your dash? Because it isn't working.

I know I'm not a doctor. But I know my body. The difference between needing a higher dose and a different medication altogether hasn't failed me yet, and I could be wrong about this. Obviously, I could be. I want to be. Because my doctor wants me to try a higher dose before we switch me to another medication on this list.

I'm in so much pain right now because I cannot calm my sciatic nerve damage down right now. It's like my entire left leg and bottom is an inferno. My body is also hot. I'm afraid.

And I simply needed to tell somebody. I have no idea what this will do.

Nothing, most likely. I could get picked on for being a Medicaid recipient, given complete and utter shit for something perceived as wrong or inaccurate in what I have said. I am writing my personal experience. What I am currently going through. And I keep switching from opiate to opioid/s. Maybe someone will tell me I can get this right. Or that I'll be okay. Another could even help me. Or I could get this out to someone else and let them know that this is utter hell and sometimes ... sometimes the pain makes me want to go back and figure out a way around what happened.

Perhaps, I can reach someone else going through chronic pain. Someone seeing the repercussions of this "epidemic" that has been declared. Maybe I can be the one, if they got this far, to say I'm here. I feel like I'm dying, I am crying, and I wish someone would help me, but I will live. And I have a hand for you to hold.

God I just want some help. It's unbearable tonight. I never thought I'd post about this. Like I said, I don't propose to have knowledge. I'm speaking from a point in time that is filtering itself through pain.

I just wish to know ... is there someone like me? Getting that evil look when you step out the car and "take away" a handicapped spot from "someone who could really use it", terrified of the sort of pain and overwhelming sadness that comes from one moment in your life you had no control over (that I don't even remember), forgetting your pride to ask for gas to make it to even get the scripts that may not work for you in the first place. Laying in bed and writing in hopes of finding community. Tired. Hurting.

xx lyndz

[svetlanawagner-blog]

While living in LA, we visited the no more than 5 times the ENTIRE year even though we said we wouldn’t take the for granted. We immediately regretted it after moving to land-locked Las Vegas.

Traffic was always our number one excuse for staying in, but we know we could have made the effort. Now that we’re back on the coast, we’re determined to enjoy San Diego’s beautiful es. We’re hoping to explore every in the area and make it out to a – new or old – once a week. Today, we put together a list of what to bring to the to help us and you stay organized.

A big thank you to Sparkling ICE for sponsoring this post. All opinions are always our own. This post may contain affiliate links, where we receive a small commission on sales of the products that are linked at no additional cost to you. Read our full disclosure for more info. Thank you for supporting the brands that make Local Adventurer possible.

Last Updated: Jun 7, 2019 // Originally Published: Jun 11, 2015

What to Bring to the Beach - Our Beach Essentials Packing List

Beach Bag – It’s especially good if it’s like this one with a zipper or clasps at the top and you can use it as your personal carry on item too.

Dry Backpack or Dry Bag – Jacob likes to carry this backpack to keep our stuff dry.

 Reef Safe Sunscreen – Skin cancer is no joke! We used to love using our Neutrogena Dry Touch, but after reading up on what ingredients go into their sunscreens along with other big brands, we’ve found some great non-toxic alternatives. Keep in mind sunscreens above SPF 50 only add slightly more protection. If you find oxybenzone, octinoxate, octocrylene, homosalate, or octisalate on the label, it is not reef friendly. Mineral sunscreens with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide are generally safer.

Chapstick with SPF – Jacob’s burnt his lips more than once because he forgot about them. This one is SPF 30.

 Cheap Big Sunglasses – I keep my nicer pair in the car, so that they don’t get scratched up by the sand. You want big sunglasses to be able to protect all around your eye.

Sunhat – Gotta keep the sun off your face. The one I’m wearing above is from San Diego Hat Company.

 Swimsuit

 Swim Cover Up

Summer Attire – Summer dress, tank top or tee, and shorts.

Beach Towel – This is a cute watermelon one from ban.do.

 Beach Blanket or Portable Beach Mat – Lately, it’s been too cold to get in the water, so we like to bring a blanket to relax on. Jacob hates getting sand in everything, so that’s the best way to keep the sand away. We got ours a while back at our alma mater.

A Good Book – Nothings better than feeling the breeze, soaking in the sun, and enjoying a good book. We typically bring our Kindles with us so we have multiple options on what to read. I’m currently reading Slaughterhouse Five, and Jacob is currently reading The Giver. What about you?

A Light Jacket – Even though the is usually nice, winds can always pick up and make it chilly as the sun sets. Be sure to bring a light jacket to stay warm. We really like our Patagonia nano puff jackets that pack up small.

Change of Clothes – Always good to have just in case.

 Camera – Whether it’s a phone, a point-and-shoot, GoPro, or DSLR, we like to have at least one camera (if not all 4) to capture the moments.

Waterproof Flip Flops x2 or Water Shoes: These flip flops go with me everywhere. They’re so thin and light that I can pack them in the side pocket of my backpack and forget about them until I need them. Pack an extra pair in case one breaks. I’ve had flip flops break on me on trips before, and it’s never fun hobbling back to the hotel. You also might want to consider bringing water shoes if you’re at a with rocky surfaces.

 Baby Powder – It removes moisture from your skin so sand will fall off easily.

Bug Repellent

Kleenex Wet Wipes or Sanitizer – this is the germ removal kind.

Zip Lock Bags in Various Sizes – I actually bring ziplock bags on every trip because they’ve come in so handy on many occasions. You can use them to protect your phone and personal items from getting wet or pack your wet swimsuits afterward.

 Portable Phone Charger: This Anker charger keeps both our devices charged all day.

First Aid Kit – We don’t always pack one, but we know we should.

Snorkel, Mask, Fins – if you can snorkel right off the , we prefer to bring our own masks and snorkels since it fits our faces better.

Wetsuit – if you’re swimming out in San Diego, you need a thick wetsuit.

 Rash Guard – for extra protection from the sun.

 Spare Change for Parking Meter

 Snacks – To keep the hanger at bay, we always bring some of our favorite beef jerky or trail mix to appease the monster. It’s good to bring nice portable snacks that won’t melt in the sun. Great snack options are fruit, nuts, crackers, and power bars.

 Hydroflask Bottle or Growler – to keep your drinks cold.

 Cooler Filled With Water and Beverage of Choice – It’s always important to stay hydrated. Doctors recommend you drink 8 full glasses of water. I’ve never liked drinking regular water, so it’s been nice having our fridge full of Sparking ICE. They have over 20 sparkling water flavors, and they have no calories. I love the fizziness, and my favorite flavor so far is Peach Nectarine.

More: How to Pack for a Snorkeling Trip

More Things to Bring to the Beach

These aren’t necessities but make life easier or more fun.

Beach Umbrella – Sure, you don’t need a umbrella, but once you use one, it’s hard to go back to the old life. This one is very packable and can turn into a sun or rain canopy or try this portable tent that’s easy to set up.

Camping Chairs – these fold down way smaller than chairs.

 Waterproof Portable Outdoor Speaker

 Towel Clips – to keep your towel in place

 Sand Coaster – to keep your drink from falling over.

Inflatable Lounger / Hammock

Giant Pool Float

Bodyboard

Float Strap – for cameras, phones, and other devices

Entertainment – Frisbee, Football, Volleyball Kite, Card Games, Toys to Play in the Sand, Slackline

 Whistle – It’s good to have especially when ing with children.

 Binoculars – to do some birding or to scout other wildlife.

 Walkie Talkie – if there’s no service

cutest watermelon cooler / bag that I’ve been toting everywhere!

More: The Best Summer Sandals for Travel Road Tested and Reviewed

Essential Tips

Pick a Beach Bag you don’t mind getting dirty. Large totes or medium size backpacks are good. Compartments and pockets help keep things organized and water resistance is always a plus.

Maximize space by using cubes and rolling your clothes and towels at the bottom of bag.

Leave most of your valuables at home including your nice pair of sunglasses.

Weigh your luggage to make sure they will not go over the allowed weight. 

Personal Items

ID Driver’s License or Passport

Credit Cards and Cash

Insurance Cards

 Wallet

 Keys

Car Rental and Hotel Information

 Directions

 Phone + Charger + Portable Charger

Printable PDF

Clothes to Bring on Every Trip

PJs

Bras and Underwear

Socks

Nicer Outfit for Dinners

Workout Clothes

Tees + Tops

Shorts, Pants

Sundresses

Dryer Sheets – keep it in your suitcase to keep your clothes smelling fresh.

Toiletries

Shampoo, Conditioner, Soap / Body Wash, Lotion – Most hotels will carry these already. I usually only pack my own conditioner since my hair is so damaged and needs extra love.

Travel Hair Dryer – depending on where we stay, I’ll bring my own mini hair dryer.

Lotion

Toothbrush

Toothpaste

Floss

Sunblock

Aloe

Hairbrush – love the tangle teezer.

 Hair ties, Bobby Pins, Clips, Spin Pins – I always lose them so I like to bring extras and stash them in each bag.

Hair Product – Hair Cream, Gel, Spray

Shower Cap

Flat Iron or Curling Iron

Eyeglasses

Contacts, Contact Case, Contact Solution

Eye Drops

Makeup Bag + Makeup Listed Below

Pads and Tampons

Jewelry

Nail Clipper

Tweezer

Meds Prescription, Vitamin, Benadryl, Dramamine, Pain Reliever

First Aid Kit

Eye Mask

Ear Plugs – You never know when you will have snoring roomies. 

Garbage Bag

Makeup

  Magic Cushion – this works as a great foundation and concealer

Face Setting Spray

Eyeshadow Pencil

Lipstick pencil

Chapstick with SPF

Blush

Eyeliner

Mascara

Makeup Remover – I’ve been collecting extras from hotels whenever I can, but I also love using these Grapefruit ones.

Eye Cream

Moisturizer

Electronics

Power Adapter and Converter

Phone

Phone Charger

Portable Phone Charger

E-Reader

Laptop

Laptop Cables

Camera / GoPro

 Waterproof Case for Cameras and Phone

 Waterproof Outdoor Speakers for music

More: Your Essential Underwater Photography Guide

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Favorite Beach Destinations

Pfeiffer Beach, Big Sur, California

Zuma Beach, Malibu, California

Torrey Pines, La Jolla, California

Your Ultimate Oregon Coast Road Trip

All the Best Stops on Your California Coast Road Trip

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15 Most Beautiful Beaches in Greece

Checklist - Do This Before You Leave Your House

Stop deliveries – or have a friend or neighbor take packages inside for you.

Mail

Board your pets or hire a petsitter

Housesitter

Take care of any bills

Unplug appliances

Put all valuables in a safe

Empty the fridge

Take out garbage

Set Thermostat

Lock doors and windows

Send your itinerary to a friend or emergency contact just in case.

Set Alarm

Address, map

PHOTO

photo: 

What to Bring to the Beach

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Esther + Jacob

Esther and Jacob are the founders of Local Adventurer, which is one of the top 5 blogs in the US. They believe that adventure can be found both near and far and hope to inspire others to explore locally. They explore a new city in depth every year and currently base themselves in Las Vegas.

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[stimtoybox]

So I'm an adult (21) and inthe last few months more and more I think I might be autistic?? I've learned a lot from the community but I have no clue how to go about getting a professional diagnosis. I'm in Canada if that makes a difference? Sorry if this isn't the blog to ask! I've been googling a lot but the sites that come up are all very a$-ish and idk which ones to trust for info

Hey, anon! It’s not a worry. We talk about ND things in addition to cool stim toys. Go you, by the way, for the scary things of self-exploration and taking the step of seeking a diagnosis!

(I’ll remind everyone, of course, that a professional diagnosis isn’t required for full participation in the autistic community. The vast majority of us are fine with self-dx or even just questioning.)

This is hard, in the sense that it how it works depends an awful lot on your region and financial situation, and there’s a lot of different possibilities for how you might go about this. I’m going to try to speak generally (my Aussie may show a lot) but I really encourage our Canadian followers to reblog or comment with their country-specific information and experiences. They’ll be so much more useful to you.

I’ll note that I have no idea how health insurance works anywhere not Australia, so I’m not going to touch that part at all.

The first problem is that there often aren’t a lot of psychiatrists/specialists who diagnose autism in adults, and finding one close to you might be difficult. The second problem is that if you can’t afford to go private, you’ve got even more difficulty. A diagnosis is an adult isn’t an easy thing to get, especially if you’re regional and/or don’t have money.

This is a long post, anon, so I’ve written a dot-point summary and tucked the wordier version under a read more cut.

Summary:

- Gather written information that validates and supports your feeling that you’re autistic, including a ticked-off copy of the diagnostic criteria and discussion of your own experiences.

- Research possible options for assessment in your area, including private psychiatrists who assess adults, local government clinics and university student-training clinics.

- Contact your psychologist, if you have one, for support, information, advice and scripting. If your psychologist works in a specialist mental health clinic, especially a government-funded clinic, this may be enough to get you referred for an assessment.

- Contact your GP/family doctor for referral if not referred via the above. Your GP may or may not have resources for a specialist who assesses adults, which which is why I strongly recommend researching it yourself.

- If you’re not referred to a government service (in which case, at least here in Australia, the GP files the referral and they contact you with details for an appointment) contact the specialist and make your appointment.

The first thing to do is arm up. Print off the diagnostic checklists and tick off where they apply to your situation. Write down a list of all your experiences that you think are explained by autism. Write down why you think a diagnosis would be beneficial to you (school or employer support, say) as this will discourage people from the “well, you may be autistic but the label won’t help you” or “I really don’t like labels” comments. Put together a folder (paper is easier to show to others, often) and keep all these papers together. This means you won’t forget to mention things when you’re doing the stressful thing of trying to tell people why you want a diagnosis.

(This is especially important for anyone who isn’t a white cis boy and might be autistic in ways that don’t involve train monologues. Allistics still don’t have a good understanding of what autism looks like outside of the white cis boy population, and can often be reluctant to diagnose on this basis. It’s not right that you have to do all this, of course, but it can help.)

On this point, don’t assume that they’ll notice everything about you that is autism. If you’re going with a public psychiatrist who just makes assessments/evaluations, you might end up with only a couple of hours with someone who doesn’t dig too deeply. (The kinds of assessments and how you’re assessed can vary widely between one professional and another. Some take several sessions; some give you a quiz and call it done!) If you go in knowing what you want to explore and the reasons why, and present this information, you’re far more likely to get the diagnosis you want. Speaking as someone who’s been through a few general assessments - I didn’t know what I was there for or what I wanted them to diagnose, and the end result was that they diagnosed nothing more specific than “probably Cluster C”. Go in knowing what you need and why you need it. You might not have to lead them down the path, but it’s always good knowing that you can should it be necessary. If I could do my assessments again, this is the one thing I’d do differently.

You can and should take the time here to Google psychiatrists and other neuro-type specialists who assess autism in adults in your area, if you can afford a private clinician and are looking to go that way. Your GP may have to do this anyway, because most of their resources are probably for p-docs focusing on autistic children! If you come prepared with this information, it helps a lot. You can also check out university clinics, as many offer no or low-cost services for student training, which might be more affordable for you. You often do not have to be a student to access this, but if you are, there’s also student-specific services available to you by most universities, so it might be worth exploring this to see if they offer assessments, too. University clinics are probably your best option if you can’t find or afford a local specialist that assesses adults.)

The third thing to do is approach a therapist/psychologist if you have one. If you’re talking to a therapist or a psychologist, you’ll probably be told to go to your GP for a referral (that is the case here in Australia, at least) but they may be able to provide more resources for where your GP can refer you, affirm your suspicions, help you script conversations or provide general support, so if you have one, and you trust them to be supportive and understanding (not all psychologists are), it’s often worth talking to them first. Basically, you’re saying you think you may be autistic, these are the reasons why and what do they think about a referral to a psychiatrist who assesses/diagnoses autism in adults. If you think your GP might be reluctant, having the backing of your therapist can help - just ask them to write a letter to send to your GP.

(If you’re with a psychologist who works in a clinic like a community/government psychology service, your psychologist may be able to direct you to the staff p-doc or arrange an assessment with them, no GP involvement at all. This is how I got my BPD assessment that became a surprise autism assessment.)

The third thing is to talk to your GP/family doctor/primary care physician, same conversation as above. If your GP listens to you, you’ll either be given a referral and contact details for a private clinician, the university clinic or put forwards for an assessment with a government clinic, depending on what options your GP has. After that, either through making an appointment yourself or waiting for the clinic to contact you, you should have an appointment with someone capable of diagnosing.

(I’ll say here: if your GP doesn’t listen to you, get another GP, seriously. Don’t hesitate on this. My original family GP told me, a suicidal person in crisis with chronic pain on WorkCover who couldn’t work, that I didn’t need a psychologist or meds; I just needed to get another job. Needless to say, I don’t see him anymore - five years later, it’s hard not to be aware of just how close I came to dying because of that comment. I just say this to highlight the fact that there are some awful medical professionals out there, people guilty of criminal malpractice, and their unwillingness to support you does not invalidate your need for said support. My GP couldn’t diagnose my depression; he surely never saw my autism. Doesn’t mean neither were there, because they were and are.)

Now, there may be a few or many local differences, so I hope some Canadians can correct me on anything that’s wildly out of place. But the above is a jumble of possibilities based on several experiences I’ve had with psychiatrists and assessments and experiences friends have had with psychiatrists and assessments, all here in Australia.

I hope this gives you some idea of how things work, anon. Good luck. We’re all crossing our fingers here that you get the support and diagnosis you’re hoping for - and we’ll all welcome you here as one of us even if you don’t.

- Mod K.A.

[medicalquack]

Pharmacy Benefit Managers Invade Medical Records and Electronically Connect Cash Patients to RX Discount Cards-OptimizeRX-to SingleCare to OptumRX

This should not really come as a big surprise as what hasn’t the pharmacy benefit managment business touched?  So what is OptimizeRX?  Most have probably not heard of this software but it is a connect to EMRs that will send your prescription right to the pharmacy.  Oh, now you say, well the PBMs do that and they do but what they have been missing is a way to collect data on patients who are not using their PBM prescription card or those who do not have one.  It’s all about getting more data about you to “score” and of course sell those scores to insurers and other interested parties.  Once the pharmacy has the transaction, it does not fall under HIPAA rules as it’s a prescription, linked to an EMR to provide a transaction.  As we all know, your medications in an EHR are protected but again, I’ll repeat this for those who still think HIPAA is covered at the pharmacy, it is not.  It’s been a sore spot for years with privacy.

If your doctor is using one of the medical records systems in the image at the right, they are partners with OptimizerRX.  From the website:

“OptimizeRx® has developed an extensive network of EHR and eRx platform partners*, as well as partnerships with media and creative agencies, making it easy for marketers to achieve excellent reach with their HCP customers. View the partner network information below for details. EHR and eRx partners benefit from the partnership by adding OptimizeRx’s suite of services seamlessly into their platforms, providing relevant patient support, patient education and other services that are welcomed by their HCP customers. Integrating OptimizeRx into an EHR or eRx platform is simple and easy, and can usually be completed in less than eight hours!”

Did you catch this, it’s about marketing and at least they say as much.  When you look at the executive page, you’ll find most of these folks came from the pharmaceutical business.  Here’s another screenshot to “auto send” the prescription along with the RX pricing information direct to a pharmacy.  What this means is the price is locked in and a pharmacist has to honor that as it’s aready in the data base, precluding the availability to offer a cheaper discount.  Certainly it appears to make it easier for the patient, but is it the best price?  We don’t know.  In addition, the providers can print a coupon for those who say “no, don’t do that’. 

This RX discount card also can text and email you.  So there you go, it’s all about the data that drug companies and PBMs want on folks not using their PBM discounts.  If you let the MD do the auto send, you’re stuck with that price and can’t compare.  There’s this little item I wrote about a while back about medication adherence prediction compliance and if you are not aware of this game, read the link below and this has been around for a while and was originally created with Ingenix (OptumRX now) algorithms that goes back to 2010 when Express Scripts put out a press release on how they were going to score you, and they all do that now.  This is some real flawed information too as the 300 metrics used have zero to do with taking meds.  You get a bad nick for example if you are a male seeing a female MD and so on.  This is not science, it’s behavior bullshit that at best may show trending.  So this OptimizerRX is software to use the EMR to drag in the so called “Outliers” who pay cash and are not using a PBM discount.  Part of the job of a pharmacist today is to identify their outliers and fix them, but if the data is flawed and they pay cash, it’s just a bunch of flawed data.

Patients Who Pay “Cash” When Filling Prescriptions Are Now Called “outliers, Pharmacists Required to Fix outliers as They Show Up As Non Medication Adherence Compliant With 5 Star Systems Full of Flawed Data…

Medication Adherence Predictions Enter the World of Quantitated Justifications For Things That Are Just Not True, Members of the Proprietary “Code Hosing” Clubs Out There Destroying Your Privacy

So now we have talked about OptimizeRX (which just happens to sound a lot like OptumRX) let’s move to the next step here and talk about the discount card.  Read the press release below, OptimizeRX has a partner called SingleCare, which actually resembles the HealthAllies company that Andy Slavitt and Senator’s Warren’s daughter sold to United Healthcare, except this one is free.  SingleCare includes other available discounts, a few of them but hey well all know it’s about getting the pharma PBM money to support the entire project, not a 20% discount at a gym or free teeth cleaning.

OptimizeRx Partners Exclusively with SingleCare to Bring Patient Savings and Price Transparency to Healthcare Providers at the Point of Prescribe

SingleCare started out much like Script Relief (another RX discount card that markets under a ton of names run by Loeb Enterprises in New York) to get some users of the discount so they could collect money from the PBM.  All the Script Relief cards make their money back from OptumRX on the fees and other charges and they pay independent sales people $10 a hit for every patient who activates a card.  Script Relief was originally connected with Catatmaran, which was bought by OptumRX (United Healthcare) and played a big role with Cigna getting sanctioned by CMS for a long time from selling Medicare D policies.  Here’s a couple archived links on tha topic and once the OptumRx purchased Catamaran, who was the in-house PBM for Cigna, all insured had a new PBM called United Healthcare (OptumRX) PBM.

United Healthcare Having a Big Bond Sale to Finance Purchase of Catamaran Pharmacy Benefit Management Company, Huge 10.5 Billion

United Healthcare Buys Catamaran Pharmacy Benefit Manager Just As the PBM Gets Hit With A Class Action Lawsuit For Low Balling Pharmacy Reimbursements..And More Patient Data to Sell and Analyze For Profit

So what kind of executives does SingleCare employ?  Well you could probably guess this one easy enough, former United Healthcare and big time former Catamaran executives.  Check it out.  In addition the company also says it will bill patients who use their discounted MD, dental cleaning, etc. services.  Yikes as a patient, I would much rather pay the doctor direct and not have some big corporate conglomerate chasing me who also wants my data to score and sell.  Many MDs have already figured out how these virtual credit cards hit them up for big fees anyway, so they keep part of that money for giving you a discount.

Health Plans and Claim Clearinghouses With Virtual Credit Cards-Racking Up Additional Fees From Doctors

So what PBM do you think is supporting this?  My guess would be OptumRX but you can’t find that stated anywhere, but hey put two and two together.  So if you use the card, you are added to a PBM data base with data to score and sell and again, we think it’s OptumRX.  If you noticed above, Allscripts is one of the partners and is it not a coincidence that all OptumCare MDs are required to use Allscripts?  Here’s more on that topic along with a picture I snapped of one of their OptumCare owned MDs in the OC.  Don’t forget too that all the Surgical Care Affiliate outpatient surgery facilities are now owned and will be run by OptumCare, so I might guess Allscripts will be over there too, or OptimizeRX will sign up more EHRs to bring in the SingleCare discount card over there too. 

OptumCare Doctors to Get allscripts Medical Records EHR–Optum Continues to Buy More Practices and Manage More Doctors Through Independent Physician Associations, Many of Which They Own

We also have this action going on relative to OptumRX and Catamaran with lawsuits being filed over the price of prescriptions when a cash offering is less expensive than what the PBM is offering.

Cigna & United Healthcare Face Class Action Suits-PBM Over Charging Customers for Prescriptions, OptumRX Pharmacy Benefit Management Software-“Front Running” Consumers With Killer Algorithms at the Drug Store

Pharmaceutical Wholesalers Inc. File Legal Complaint Against OptumRx “Aligning Its Interests” with the Big Three Drug Distributors in US, Thus Acting as an Agent of the Government With Accreditation Processes

Bottom line here is to get the algorithms connected to the EHRs now and get that price locked in and get the data from the folks who are not using a PBM price.

Also the MedExpress urgent care locations are also connected to, guess who, OptumRX and you might be seeing those SingleCare RX discount cards used there as well.  United Healthcare also has another service they market where they want to be the EHR integrator for Allscripts and other medical record companies.

Optum (United Healthcare) Buys MedExpress Urgent Care Business- 141 Full Service Clinics In 11 States–Company Advertises They Are In the Market to Buy Your MD Practice, As A “Too Big To Fail Insurer” Moves Forward With More Acquisitions

United Healthcare (Optum Insight Subsidiary) Wants To Be Your Allscripts, Epic And GE Centricity EHR Consulting Service Starting With Implementation And Beyond

How convenient to be an EHR integrator and get that OptimizeRX connected in there to the medical records to promote the SingleCare discounts and collect data on folks who are not using their PBM program or are paying cash.  By the way too, Optum is also now doing the billing for Quest Labs in case you missed that one.  Optum does the billing of course for their very close partner, the Mayo clinic, who’s CEO just took a board seat with Merck Pharmaceutical.  Are you seeing some kind of a pattern yet, maybe?  Of course if you are insured by United, you have been told to go to LabCorp for years for actual tests.

Quants of Optum Carve Out New Outsourced Billing Deal with Quest Labs, Will Also Serve to Enhance The Scoring & Data Selling Business Conducted by Both Companies via Powerful Subsidiaries

The prescription discount game is heating up out there and Express Scripts doesn’t want to be left out as they too now have an RX discount card, called Inside RX which is a partnership with GoodRX, as they too didn’t want to get left out of the lucrative “fee” business here.  Sounds like OptumRX was cutting them out of some of the money mabye, so off to Express Scripts they went. 

Here’s a post I did a while back with some good videos from actual independent pharmacists that tell you the story on how the RX discount cards work and how a lot of time they might still be able to give you a better cash price that doesn’t support all this markeing.

The Truth About Pharmacy Benefit Managers and Prescription Discount Cards–Created With Automated Algorithmic Processes That Enable Huge Profits-Consumers at Risk!

So backon topic here with SingleCare benefits, be aware of what’s going on with the algorithms of the PBMs as they are now invading medical records to get that script and and that data about you.  I would be very careful about wanting to use any of the texting and email services they offer as they collect and monitor everything today and will “score” your behavior with their services to toss some kind of risk in a profile about you!  Recently, VC arm of Optum/United Healthcare invested money in another cesspool Silicon Valley risk assessment company, Mindstrong to monitor people with cell phone behavior and when they get done scoring all that type of data, we’ll all be at risk for mental health issues if we “hesitate” on responding to text messages.

So be aware now as the PBMs have infiltrated medical records and stalking you there, with going beyond just regular PBM plans, they want to get data on everyone who pays cash to “score” and sell a data profile about you and your behavior.  Once you get locked with with your doctor doing an automatic send to the pharmacy, the pharmacist may not be able to offer you a less expensive price if they have one to offer on your medication.  BD  via Blogger http://ift.tt/2stje6J