#9 1 1 fics

[callsign-dexter]

Fight to Survive

Summary: The BAU gets called to a case in LA, California, everything is going great then tragedy strikes. Can the youngest team member be saved?

Pairings: Bobby Nash x Daughter!FBI!Reader, Athena Grant x Stepdaughter!Reader, May Grant x Stepsister!Reader, Harry Grant x Stepsister!Reader, BAU x Nash!Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, guns, gunshots stabbing, swearing, fighting, inaccurate medical talk, hospitals, bruising, being beaten up, strangulation, mentions of sexual abuse (to victims), kidnapping, cheating (not on reader)

Masterlist

A/N: After a long overdue wait I give you the crossover fic that you all voted on. Again sorry for the wait!

It was a late Friday night when everyone on the BAU team got the call that you all were headed to a case in LA. Luckily for everyone, everybody already had their go bags packed. When JJ got the call you, Y/N Nash, were all out clubbing together celebrating a case solved. You had walked outside to your car to call your dad, Bobby Nash, and mother, Athena Grant. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello?" Your father's husky voice came through.

"Hey, Dad." You said quietly you always loved the sound of his voice.

"Hey, honey. How are you? You sound tired." He said a little bit concerned then you heard Athena's voice come through and ask if that was you and to put you on speaker phone.

"Hey, sweetheart!" Athena said in her cheery voice and you smiled.

"Hey Athena. How are you and everyone else?" You asked

"We're good! Missing you." She said and you quietly laughed.

"You didn't answer my question Y/N." Your father back on the phone.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. The last case got to me." You told them the truth. You always told them the truth.

"Are you allowed to talk about it?" Athena asked.

"I can tell you but it's not to be repeated." You said

"We understand." They both said at the same time.

"The case was about an unsub taking kids that resembled their kid that passed away due to drowning. They would keep them for 3 days and then drown them. We saved the last kid but they were around Harry's age." You told them and they were silent.

"Oh baby girl. I'm so sorry." Your father said. You looked up when you saw a shadow standing outside your window. You saw it was JJ.

"Hey guys hold on. JJ needs me." You told them and opened the door.

"Hey sorry to interrupt but we got a case." She sighed and you nodded.

"Ok let me finish up here and start rounding up everyone I'll drive whoever doesn't have a car here." You told her and she nodded and headed off to round everyone up. On the other end of the line Athena and Bobby were smiling at how you were taking charge, it must run in the family.

"Sorry guys. We got a case." You told them.

"You just got done with a case. Have you gotten any sleep?" Your dad asked concerned.

"Dad, I've gone on a lot less. I'll be fine this is what I signed up for when I joined the BAU. I love you guys." You told them, it was true you've gotten some sleep but not enough and you've ran on 2 hrs of sleep before.

"We love you too. Be safe. We'll talk later." Bobby said.

"Absolutely." You said smiling you said goodbye again and hung up.

About the time you hung up the team was heading your way. You got out to greet them. You all load up either in your car or separate cars, thankfully most of everyone took their own cars.

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When you arrived at the BAU headquarters everyone got out started to file into the building. Nobody was really complaining about being back except for Morgan who had been currently dancing with some lucky ladies.

"Always when I'm getting my groove thing on with the ladies." Morgan said as you all sat down waiting to be briefed. You just laughed.

"Morgan, I don't think you'll have a problem getting your groove thing back." He just laughed.

"You're just jealous that it's not with you." Morgan teased and you smirked.

"Oh, I'm just heartbroken." You faked hurt. He had always flirted with you but you had another man on your mind, a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed, with a unique birthmark, a few tattoos, and is firefighter under your dad's command, even though he has a girlfriend, you had no interest in Morgan. Hotch, JJ, and Garcia walked into the conference room.

"A body of a teenage girl was found dumped in a local park in CA. According to LAPD, this is the 8th girl taken. Her name was Amanda Hills." Hotch said as Garcia pulled up the pictures.

"The medical examiner has confirmed that they were sexually abused and then their throat slit post-mortem. Then dumped during the night in the park and found the next morning they're usually unclothed." JJ said. "We also have gotten word that a 9th girl has been abducted, Amelia Lanco." She reported.

"All the girls had signs of abuse. They also reported that they were stabbed in the same places beforehand and then strangled. They also had their throat slit afterward." You said looking at the tablet in your hand. You swiped the picture to get a better look at the victims and your heart stopped. They all look like May. You took a shaky breath before continuing "They also sent a video to LAPD which they gave to us." You said and Garcia played it, it showed the latest victim chained to a pole blindfolded, and dressed in only her bra and panties. Only a few seconds were played but that was enough for it to be engraved in your head forever.

"It also says here that he keeps them for 2 days and then dumps them." Rossi said to the team.

"Wheels up now." Hotch said and you all filed out of the room and picked up your go bags and headed to the jet. It was a 5 hr flight. As you were walking up the jet Hotch stepped you.

"Are you alright?" He asked you and you hesitated.

"All those girls looked like my sister, Hotch." You said and he nodded in understanding.

"Do you need to sit this one out?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Absolutely not." You said and nodded.

"If it gets too much come tell me." He said and you nodded your head. You both got on the plane and were up in the air in no time.

"It says here that the unsub keeps them for a total of 5 days before killing and dumping them. All of them were 18-24 years old." Rossi said. "The girls are taken during broad daylight but nobody claims to see anything." He continued.

"What if they do see it but just don't want to mention anything?" Spencer said and you nodded along with the others "It says here that 9-1-1 calls were called in from the same number but they always ended shortly after before help could help. All the numbers were the same and dispatch said that there were before the girl could say what was wrong a man came on and disconnected it." He said.

"Ok. I want Y/N and JJ I want you to meet LAPD and the fire department at the latest scene, we ask for them not to touch it until we're there. Reid and Morgan, I want you to go to dispatch and listen to the 9-1-1 calls. Emily, Rossi, and I will go to the police station to start setting up a profile." Hotch said and you all nodded in understanding. 5 hrs went quickly and before you knew it, you were touching down in LA. You all went to where you were supposed to go. You and Reid got into the SUV, you driving, and headed to the crime scene where you met your father, stepmother, and your current crush.

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You strolled up to the crime scene and saw the 118 firetruck and ambulance there along with several police cars including Athenas. You parked in front of the firetruck and got out and killed the engine and got out the same time JJ got out. You both had sunglasses on and walked to the crime scene.

"Welcome Agents. I'm Detective Lou Ransone." Lou announced and JJ spoke up.

"Nice to meet you. I'm SSA Jennifer Jareau but everyone calls me JJ and this is SSA Y/N Nash." She said nodding to you, everyone shook hands.

"Nash? As in Fire Captain Bobby Nash?" He asked and you nodded.

"That would be correct." You said just about the time when Bobby and Athena walked over.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming to LA." Bobby said and you shook your head.

"Neither did I until 5 hrs ago. So what do we have?" You asked about getting into your professional FBI voice Bobby and Athena was impressed. Detective Lou answered your question as you all walked over to the body and you bent down to examine it along with JJ, who gave you gloves to put on.

"Call came in early this morning, around 7 AM from a frantic jogger that was jogging and discovered the body." Detective Lou said and you both nodded. You were watching JJ when she stopped and that got your attention.

"What do you got JJ?" You asked her.

"This is new." She said and pointed toward the left shoulder. "None of the other victims have had a bite mark on them." She said and your eyebrows shut to the one of confusion.

"You're right." You said, "Do you think we're dealing with more than one unsub or are they changing their mo?" You asked forgetting that the rest were there.

"There could be a good possibility." She said and about that time Buck, Eddie, Hen, and Chimney came over. You looked up and noticed the crowd. You got up which alerted JJ. She looked over and saw the news crew. You looked over at Detective Lou and Athena.

"Tell your detectives and officers that this does not get to the media. Not until we're ready to give a profile." You said and they nodded.

"Buck that means no telling Kelly anything." Eddie said and a surge of jealousy went through you. You didn't wait around to hear the rest. You went back to searching the crowd when you spotted something out of the ordinary. A man in his late 20s with a ball cap that was hiding his face and a jacket on with his hands in his pocket. He saw you and started to move.

"What is it?" JJ asked you

"There is someone in the crowd that doesn't look too concerned." You said and when you both went to question him he was gone.

"Let's get back to the station and get with Hotch and the rest." JJ said and you nodded and did just that

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While you headed back to the police station you talked over all the details with JJ. When you arrived you killed the engine and walked in and to the conference room where you were set up for the time being.

You told Hotch what you had come up with. He nodded letting you know he understood. "I think we're dealing with more than one unsub." You had said.

"Why is that?" He asked asking for further explanation.

"JJ I forgot to show you but I got a picture. There was another set of footprints, smaller than the other. Also, new evidence has been found, there was a bite mark on the shoulder of the latest victim." You said and pulled up your pictures sending them to the tablets. "Also if you look back at the video you can see at least one male forcing moves on her, and another one holding the camera." You said and they looked at you and realization came upon their face. Gracia phoned you all and Morgan answered the phone.

"Talk to me momma." Morgan said

"Ok my lovelies I ran the names through all of the systems and it turns out that they all went to the same high school and lived in the same neighborhood." Garcia said.

"Do you have an address of the latest victim and the other one that recently was taken?" Rossi asked.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do. I'll have them to you in a jiffy." Gracia said and hung and true to her word she had everyone's phones pinging.

"Nash and Morgan I want you to go and talk to the parents of the latest victim, Mr. and Mrs. Lanco, and start talking to places that they frequently visited show them pictures of Amelia. Rossi and Reid start building a geographical profile and JJ start going through tapes and camera. Prentiss your with me, we're going to go and check out the Hills." Hotch ordered around and you all nodded and you left with Morgan with Preintess and Hotch following.

You both got into the SUV and headed to the address that Garcia had given you. It was in a neighborhood you knew all too well, it was the neighborhood your parents currently lived in. You arrived at the Lanco Residence and got out of the SUV when it was parked and turned off. Morgan stood right by you as you walked to the door. Morgan knocked and Mrs. Lanco answered the door.

"Mrs. Lanco, I'm SSA Morgan and this is SSA Nash." Morgan said introducing you both.

"Oh like fire captain Nash?" She asked and once again you nodded.

"Yes ma'am." You answered her. "Mrs. Lanco, we're here to talk about Amelia." You told her and let you both in and into the living room where Mr. Lanco was.

"Honey this is SSA Morgan and SSA Nash." Mrs. Lanco said her husband got up and shook both of your hands. She offered you a seat on the couch and you took it.

"First I want to say I'm sorry for your loss. Did Amelia have any enemies?" You asked then.

"No none at all. She was a very well-liked girl." Mr. Lanco said "She wouldn't hurt a fly." He continued.

"She always helped around the house and loved everyone." Mrs. Lanco said and you nodded.

"If you have any more to add, here is my card with my number. Please let us know if anything else comes up." Morgan said and handed them his card.

"We will. Have a nice day agents." Mr. Lanco said and got to show you to the door. Once out and in the SUV, Morgan was the one driving this time, you two began to talk.

"Ok so Amelia seemed like a nice girl. She helped out around the house and helped her parents." You said to Morgan and he nodded.

"She also didn't have any enemies, no one to hate her. That we know of." He said and it was your turn to nod. "I wonder if Hotch and Rossi got anything different." He said and you nodded. You started to visit each location the victims frequented but it was no use until the last stop who told you both a description of the guy and actually had videos from CCTV.

You both arrived at the station and got out of the SUV and made your way into the building. When you got to the conference room Hotch and Rossi were already there and were already talking.

"What did you both find out?" Hotch asked and so you spoke up.

"She was a really well-liked girl. She helped out around the house and wouldn't hurt a fly. She also loved everyone. Also, the last place they visited had a video that showed the victims leaving with one of the unsubs. Videos should be here now." You said relaying the conversation that you had with the parents and other information. Hotch nodded.

"This Hills said the same thing about their daughter. So why is this unsub going after friendly girls and who helps around the house? Rossi said and asked.

"He must be going after a specific person but can't have her or saving her for last." Emily spoke up and it hit you. May was like that so he must have May on his mind. You looked at Hotch and he was looking at you, you knew what he was thinking.

While you, Morgan, Hotch, and Emily were out. JJ, Reid, and Rossi had gotten the names of the unsubs, Jackson Phillips and Anthony Bennett. Garcia also gave pictures and. It was silent for a minute then Gracia phoned.

"Guys I just got a video of Amelia from the unsubs." Gracia said "Sending it to you now." She said before you all could get anything else out. Your phones pinged.

Just then Athena walked in "We just got a report of shots fired at 23 South Comet Drive."

"That's the same address that the video sent from. Ok guys let's go." Hotch said and you all threw on your Kevlar FBI vests and you were on your way.

You all got there at the same time as the 118 and the other police officers. You were the first one out of the SUV and then followed by Morgan and the others followed. You saw Buck and he was looking at you but you were too busy running to the door. When you got there you had decided to kick down the door.

"FBI! OPEN UP!" Hotch shouted and when you got no response he nodded at you and you brought your foot up and kicked down the door. In fluid motion and boy did you feel powerful. You all rushed in. Everyone split up.

"CLEAR!" Hotch yelled out

"CLEAR!" Morgan yelled out

"CLEAR!" Emily yelled out and then you got to the basement.

"Guys we need a medic down here!" You said into your comms just as the man coughed and blood spewed out.

Everyone else ran down along with Hen and Chimney. You were bending down when they came in. They worked on him and when they got him out onto the gurney he was awake and you went up to him along with Hotch. "Anthony Bennett?" You asked.

"Yes?" He replied.

"You are under arrest for the murder of Amanda Hills and 6 other kills and the kidnapping of Amelia Lanco." You said authoritatively he just looked down like he was upset that he got caught. An officer gave you cuffs and you handcuffed him to the gurney then turned the officer as Hotch spoke.

"I want an officer posted at his hospital room at all times and when he's healed take him away." He said and they nodded. He turned to you once they loaded him up and left. "You need to tell them who they're really after." He said and you looked at him he would never suggest that. He must've seen the look because he continued "They need to know and I know how you get when you have to keep a secret." He finished and you nodded.

You walked over to Bobby and Athena as well as Eddie and Buck. They saw you and saw the look on your face. "What's wrong?" Buck asked.

"This is not easy for me to say this but the unsub's target is May." You told them and the color drained from their face the same it had done to you when you saw it. "That's the same look I had when I saw it." You said and you felt bad "I wasn't allowed to tell you until now." And that was true even if it wasn't spoken you knew the rules.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Athena asked

"Yes. We want to put someone with her the entire time and we will be calling the 911 command center to let them know. I also want Maddie to know." You said and they nodded. You all talked more and then you needed to go.

"Y/N wait." Buck said as he jogged over to you and you turned. "How have you been?" He asked and you looked at him expression neutral. Even though you were jumping for joy on the inside but you knew he had a girlfriend.

"I've been fine Buck." You said and gave him a small smile.

"That's great! Hey listen maybe we can hang out after this is all done." He said and you sighed.

"We can hang out but Buck you have a girlfriend and I don't want to stand in the way of you two." You told him and he nodded his head "Do you have your phone?" You asked him and he nodded and so you held out your hand and you put your number in and then sent a message to yourself "I have your number now. Text or call me." You said and then turned away and back to the SUV. What you didn't see was Buck smiling like an idiot and what you didn't know was that he liked you too.

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It was the next day and you had gotten zero sleep. You just couldn't fall asleep not with that creep of a murder running around. Everyone greeted each other and got to work. "I think we're ready to give a press conference. Y/N want you to give it." Hotch said and that surprised you but got ready to do one anyways. "Tell them that we have a suspect in custody and tell them what and who to watch out for." He said and you nodded your head. The news reporters and several television stations were there. You were nervous but you were ready to give to do it.

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Bobby had told Hen and Chimney what you had told them and Buck had told Maddie. "Hey the FBI is about to give a statement." Buck said and so everyone gathered around.

"I'm SSA Y/N Nash with the FBI. We have a suspect in custody but the other one is still at large. We ask you not to approach this man he is considered to be armed and dangerous. He is a white male in his early 30s and has black hair and blue eyes. He is usually seen in a black baseball cap and has a scar over his right eyebrow. Up on the screen is a picture that will help you identify him. We also ask any female to not be alone at all times while this case is going on. If you see this man or he approaches you please call the FBI hotline or 911. There will not be any questions at this time. Thank you." You finished your speech.

Everyone was silent. "She looks stressed." Chimney said and everyone nodded in agreement.

"She also didn't look like she got any sleep." Hen said.

"I just hope she's ok. Maybe I can convince her to stay a couple of days afterwards." Bobby said

"We would love to see and hang out with her again." Eddie said and again everyone agreed. Buck was silent he loved you and wanted to be with you but was too stupid and hid it, now he was with Taylor and he didn't want that anymore he wanted you.

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Everyone at the call center gathered around the TV as the news began to play. There was chatter going around and questions. May and Maddie were together when it was playing and it freaked her out because she knew this person.

"I'm SSA Y/N Nash with the FBI. We have a suspect in custody but the other one is still at large. We ask you not to approach this man he is considered to be armed and dangerous. He is a white male in his early 30s and has black hair and blue eyes. He is usually seen in a black baseball cap and has a scar over his right eyebrow. Up on the screen is a picture that will help you identify him. We also ask any female to not be alone at all times while this case is going on. If you see this man or he approaches you please call the FBI hotline or 911. There will not be any questions at this time. Thank you." You finished your speech.

"Oh my gosh." May said in disbelief.

"What? What is it?" Maddie asked her concerned.

"I know that man. He's always in Cali Café. The café that I really like and the one I brought coffee to you from. He's a barista." She said and Maddie knew what she was talking about.

"Have you told Y/N?" She asked and May shook her head. "I think you need to." She said and May nodded her head and pulled out her phone and dialed your number. You answered on the first ring.

"May?" You answered

"Y/N I know that man." May said to you.

"You do?" You asked surprised

"Yes he's a barista at Cali Café. That's my favorite place to get coffee. He was fired last week though for inappropriate behavior towards women and taking off so often." She told you and you nodded tho she couldn't see.

"Ok. May we are sending someone to stay with you until this whole things blows over. I want you to be safe and if you need to stay with Maddie." You told her

"Ok. I got it." She said

"Good. I don't want anything to happen to you. I love you May." You told her

"I love you too sis." She said and then you both hung up the phone.

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You relayed the information to the team and they had sent an officer her way. Everyone was working and trying to figure out a plan and his plan when Athena came rushing in "They just found a body." She said and that had you all getting up and rushing off. When you arrived it was in a park just like he originally had done. There were strangulation marks around her heck and she was severally beaten and the new signature of a bite mark. The 118 also arrived a minute later.

"That is Amelia Lanco." Rossi said standing up from having been bent down.

"Someone needs to go and inform the parents. Reid and JJ you go." Hotch said and they nodded and headed to one of the SUVs.

"I think now that he's dumped her. He's going to go after May now." You said and they nodded in agreement. You all didn't care who heard since you had already told the 118 and Athena. "We have an officer with her, correct?" You asked and Athena nodded her head.

"Yes Detective Lou is with her." She said and you nodded your head. Hen and Chimney had loaded Amelia up and headed off.

"Good." Just then the media rolls up and to be honest you were pissed. "What the hell is the reporters doing here? How did they get information?" You asked sounding pissed and everyone could hear it.

"Rossi and Prentiss go take care of it." Hotch said and he nodded and headed that way then you looked at Buck.

"Did you tell her?" You asked in a pissed off voice.

"I swear I didn't. You have to believe me. Y/N I promise I didn't." He said defending himself and that's when Bobby spoke up.

"He didn't tell her anything. He hasn't even looked at his phone since he's been at work." Bobby said to you.

"He's been with me the entire time." Eddie said and you nodded believing them but it still infuriated you that she found out somehow.

"Agent Nash! Agent Hotchner!" An officer yelled out and you and Hotch turned and saw an officer waving you both over. So with one last look at Buck who had an expression on his face that you couldn't place you and Hotch walked over to the officer.

Buck stood there and looking in shock. He then turned to Bobby. "I swear I didn't tell her." He said.

"We know that Buck. She knows that too but she's just stressed right now and from the looks of it not getting enough sleep. She would never jeopardize a relationship that she truly believes in. Just give her some time." Bobby said and Buck nodded.

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You were truly getting frustrated and were getting little to no sleep. Hotch has pulled you aside and talked to you about snaping on people and that if you didn't stop he was sending you back to the hotel. It was in the middle of the day when you got the worst news any FBI agent or sister to get. Your face drained of color and you would've collapsed if it weren't for Hotch holding you up. Athena was also there when she got the news and you two comforted each other.

Once you got over your shock you really dived into your work not stopping to do anything. "Ok so we know that he keeps them for a total of 2 days. He usually abuses them, sexually assaults them, strangles them, and slits their throats post-mortem. He then dumps them naked in the local park. He used to have a partner but doesn't anymore so it's going to be harder to dump them." You said pacing around thinking. You turned to Rossi "Did it say where May was taken from?" You asked.

"Y/N." He said and you looked at him with a look you've never given them before and it scared them.

"Where Rossi?" You said sternly and he looked at Hotch and he nodded.

"Coming out of the 911 dispatch center." You could've sworn you felt your blood boil.

"Wasn't Detecive Lou with her?" You asked incredibly annoyed.

"Yes there was but they found him knocked out where the cars were. Cameras did show that a black Toyota Corolla stop and the unsub got out and knocked him out and pushed May into the car." Hotch said.

"When was she taken?" You asked sternly

"This morning after her overnight shift." Reid told you

"Does Bobby know?" You asked looking at Athena who had just walked into the room when she heard commotion.

"No he doesn't." She said and you looked at Hotch.

"Go tell him in person. You need to cool off." He said tossing you the keys to the SUV and you stormed out and got into the SUV and drove to the firehouse.

You arrived at the firehouse and blew past several people until you got to the kitchen. You looked him straight in the eye "May has been taken." You could see the color drain from his face.

"When?" He asked "What are you doing here?" He asked again.

"This morning after her overnight shift. They sent me to tell you because I was starting to snap at people. Hotch told me to." You said and he nodded. Just then your phone buzzed. You looked at the message it was from Garcia she gave you the address "1157 California Lane. Is close to here right?" You asked looking up at your father.

"Yea it's about 20 minutes away from here." He said, and you rushed down the stairs with everyone following they watched you throw on your Kevlar vest and then get in the SUV before any of them could say anything and speed off sirens blaring. As you were driving you got a call from Garcia.

"Hey you're on with everyone else including Athena and the 118." She said and you didn't say anything.

"We're right here with you Sweetheart." Your dad's voice came through your phone.

"I'm almost there." You said

"You wait for backup. Understood?" Hotch said and you didn't say anything too busy grinding your teeth "Agent Nash. Do you understand?" He asked again voice going authoritative.

"Understood." You said teeth clenched together.

"Good. Here is the plan. When we all get there we'll all go in together and get May put safely." Hotch said and you knuckles tightened until the turned white. You knew you needed to follow orders but you didn't like it.

They continued you talking but you tuned them out when you arrived at the house. You switched your phone to your comm. You hated waiting. Just then a scream came from the house and you couldn't wait anymore.

"Hotch I can't wait anymore I'm going in." You told them.

"Just wait for backup. We're 10 minutes out." Morgan said and you shook your head.

"10 minutes is too late. I can hear screaming." You said getting pissed.

"Y/N, Sweetheart. Just hold on a little longer. I know its hard and it hurts. We're 8 minutes out." Athena said and again you shook your head.

"Y/N please listen to them. We're almost there." Buck's voice came through and you closed your eyes you wanted to listen.

"Agent Nash. Stand down." Hotch said but you needed to go now.

"I'm sorry, I'm not waiting anymore." You said and got out and ran to the door. They were screaming in your ear but you ignored them.

You got to door and tried the knob and it opened so you pushed it open and quietly walked in. You cleared each room one by one. Until you got to the basement and then May screamed again and that had your aderline pumping and walking down the stairs. You say May and you started to walk to her she had blood coming from a cut over her eyebrow and brushing on her temple along with a cut. She also had some signs of strangulation.

"Y/N/N?" She asked looking up and you nodded you holstered your gun.

"Yea it's me. We're gonna get you out of here." You said and spoke in your comm.

"I have May. I-" you said and then May stopped you.

"Y/N/N behind you!" She said and when you turned around the unsub, Jackson Phillips, was behind you with a 2x4 and he swung it and hit you across the temple. It had knocked you down and your vision was disoriented. You saw him coming for you and you used the wall to help yourself up as he took a swing at you, you ducked and he hit the wall and you stumbled forward holding your head. He grabbed your shoulders and pulled you up and punched you in the face. You need to fight back and so you did. You took a swing and successfully hit him across the face knocking him to the side.

"Jackson Phillips we can work this out." You said

"Oh no. Working it out with you people means guns." He said and stood up and rushed you. You stepped aside and he quickly recovered. This went on for about 3 minutes and both of you were pretty beaten up. He grabbed a knife and got some good cuts and stabs in you but you quickly disarmed him and then he grabbed a gun and you quickly upholstered your gun.

"One last chance. We can work this out and I can get you a deal." You said standing up in front of May to protect her and labor breathing. He raised his gun.

"I'm not going back to prison." He said and both of you fired two shots. One of his hit your shoulder and the other just below your vest. Both of yours hit his chest successfully but somehow he was still alive but barley hanging on. You stumbled over to May and untied her and then collapsed. And spoke into your comm.

"Suspect is contained. I'm gonna need a medic." You said and your words were slurred.

Then everything turned black. You didn't hear May's pleas for you to wake up or the pressure she had on your wounds. You felt nothing.

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

Everyone could hear what was happening and it was breaking their heart. They drove as fast as they could. Buck, Bobby, and Athena were taking it the hardest.

They heard you fight with the unsub they heard every hit and every word.

"Y/N/N behind you!" May shouted and they heard you grunt in pain and then hit something metal. "

Jackson Phillips we can work this out." You said sounding out of breath.

"Oh no. Working it out with you people means guns." He said and more punching and throwing around could be heard along with grunting.

"One last chance. We can work this out and I can get you a deal."

"I'm not going back to prison." He said and both of you fired two shots. Everyone’s eyes went wide and they drove faster.

"Suspect is contained. I'm gonna need a medic." You said and your words were slurred.

Bobby had his head hung. Buck was looking wide-eyed. Athena was gripping the steering wheel. Hotch, Emily, Reid, JJ, and Rossi were in shock and afraid for their youngest member's life. They could hear May shouting out at you but you didn't respond.

"Y/N, please! Wake up! You can't leave!" She said but got no response back and they heard her start sobbing.

Everyone arrived and the BAU rushed in along with Athena and the 133 paramedics. Two other ambulances, 133 and 136, had arrived with them. Jackson Phillips was still alive but barley there. They loaded him up as Athena put cuffs on him and then the gurney "Keep him alive I want see him charged for murder and attempted murder of a federal agent." The 133 paramedics nodded and took off with him. Along with another officer to stand post at the room. The other suspect was healed and in prison already.

Emily had removed May with the help of JJ, she didn't want to leave but she knew she had to they took her the 136 ambulance to have her checked out. Hotch was bending down next you and putting pressure on. "Y/N, can you hear me?" He asked but you didn't respond. Chimney and Hen came down with a backboard. They started to put the pulse ox on your finger and hook you up to the heart monitor.

"She has a pulse but it's weak and her oxygen is dropping. We need to move her fast." Hen said and they all nodded and Hotch and Morgan helped them get you onto the backboard and helped them out of the basement and then onto a gurney. They got you into the ambulance and Bobby climbed into the ambulance. Chimney put an oxygen mask on your face as you started to come to and lolled your head the side and saw your dad there.

"Dad?" you asked slurred and he looked at you and you held your hand out to him for him to take.

"I'm here, Sweetheart." He said with tears forming in his eyes.

"Did I get 'im?" You asked eyes wanting to slip closed.

"Yea, Sweetheart. You got him." He said stroking the back of your hand. Then your grip loosened and fell out of his and your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your head lolled to the side as the heart monitor started to go crazy.

"She's flatlining!" Chimney yelled out and started to take your vest off and Bobby helped. Once it was off Chimney started to do chest compressions and then Bobby spoke up.

"Don't you leave me, Sweetheart. I can't lose you." He said and that seemed to work because your heartrate came back your eyes began to open.

"Hey, welcome back." Chimney said just as soon as they pulled up to the hospital. They got you out and wheeled you in and gave you off to the doctors "She codded in the ambulance once but came back." He said and they nodded. Now they had to wait.

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

3 hrs. that is how long it took for you to be in surgery to repair some major wounds and remove the bullets. 3 hrs. is how long you spent fighting to survive. 3 hrs. is how long everyone had to wait nervously in the hospital waiting room. 3 hrs. is how long Buck had to wait for an update for the love of his life. Everyone had changed but Athena since she had to work still. Michael, David, Harry, and May were at the hospital as well waiting. Athena had arrived and spotted Bobby who was talking to Hotch and the rest of your team. "Any word?" She asked and they shook their head.

"No, not yet." Bobby said and she was about to sat something when your doctor came out and Bobby looked over and nodded his head.

"Family of Nash." Bobby, Athena, and Hotch walked over.

"I'm her father and this is her mother." Bobby said and pointing to Athena.

"I'm her boss." Hotch said and the doctor nodded.

"I'm Dr. Summers. I was Agent Nash's surgeon and doctor. We lost her twice on the table but she his stable now. I want her to stay here for a few days just to make sure she recovers well. You can see her but if she starts getting overwhelmed I recommend limiting her visitors." She said and they nodded their heads understanding "She's in room 555." She said and they thanked her and she was on her way.

They went over and told the others and everyone sighed in relief. Buck even collapsed in the chair. "We want to limit the people she sees to at least three." Bobby said and they nodded.

Hotch, Bobby, and Athena went first. They walked up to the room and looked through the window. They could see the brutal attack you went through. They walked in and you looked over to them. "Hey." You said weakly.

"Hey, Sweetheart." Bobby said for everyone.

"May?" You asked scooting up and groaning in pain everyone rushed to help you.

"She's ok, thanks to you. A little bruised and some cuts here and there but ok." Athena said and gently grabbed your hand and rubbed it. You smiled and then turned to Hotch, he knew what you were asking.

"They want you to stay here in the hospital for a couple of days. I also want you to take some time off and recover. You're not going to be able to fly for a few weeks so I thought you could stay here." He said and turned to Bobby and Athena.

"Of course. You don't even have to ask. It would be great to catch up." Athena said and you smiled so it was settled you'll be staying home for a couple of weeks.

Everyone visited you but Buck. You were a little sad but put up a wall and masked your feelings. You were just about to go to sleep when Buck knocked on your door and walked in and you smiled.

"Buck." You said his name and it brought chills up his spine.

"Hi." He said and walked over and sat down by your bed and you looked over to him "You gave me, well everyone, a scare." You smiled.

"Sorry about that." You said and chuckled but then groaned in pain and Buck jumped up.

"Are you ok? Do I need to go get a nurse?" He asked and you waved him off.

"It's ok. I promise." You said and he sat back down.

"Listen Y/N I really like no love you. I have ever since I laid eyes on you but never made a move. I was young and naïve and you were just visiting from Quantico. I want to be with you even if it is long distance." Buck said and you thought about it.

"I've always loved you Buck. You never seemed interested so I never went for it. You just never seemed to pay attention to me or knew I existed. I really do love you Buck but you're with Taylor and I don't want to get in the way of that." You said and before you knew it or continue his lips were on yours and you were kissing him back. You only broke apart when air was needed "Buck. What about Taylor?" You asked and he shook his head.

"I don't want her. I want you and only you. I'm going to break up with her when I leave here." He said and you nodded. He sat down and you two talked in a comfortable silence. Bobby and Athena walked back in, they had decided to stay with you until you were ready to leave. Buck left but not without giving you a kiss and a wink.

Bobby and Athena started asking 20 questions and you couldn't help but smile. This was the family you had been missing but you loved your job. Buck and you were finally together and everything was right now. Yes your job was dangerous but you loved it and wouldn't give it up for anything. You couldn't wait to start your recovery with the people you love.

[graceful-ashes]

Hen and Chimney casually mentioned that Eddie doesn't get flustered. Buck who's sat nearby on his phone doesn't even look up when he offhandedly says 'Yeah, he does.' Hen and Chim look at him dubiously.

'When?' Chim asks.

Buck looks up, now. 'Like all the time.'

'Name one time' Chim challenges.

'I'm with Chim on this one. I've never really seen Eddie flustered.'

Now Buck is the one looking dubious. 'Um, like when...uh...' His mind suddenly goes blank.

'See. You can't even give an example.' Chim gloats.

'Hey, no that's not fair. You put me on the spot.' Buck argues. 'He...like yesterday! He made me a coffee and said he'd already put sugar in it, yeah? And I said that's so sweet of you. And he blushed!'

'Are you sure he was blushing.' Hen asks clearly not buying it.

'Yeah, maybe he was just warm.' Chim counters.

'I'm telling you, he blushed!' Buck exclaims.

Hen and Chimney continue to look at him sceptically.

'Prove it.' Chimney challenges

'What?'

'Prove. It.' Chimney grins.

Buck just stares in disbelief for a moment before he caves. 'Alright, fine. I'll prove it. I'll get him flustered and you can see for yourself.'

This is how Buck ends up making a fool of himself later in the day when they're just finishing up on a call and Eddie is just frowning at him, confused, not at all effected by Bucks lame attempt to get him flustered.

Buck walks back towards Hen and Chimney in defeat. 'We're out on a call, he probably just has his guard up.' Buck defends.

'Uh huh.' is Hen's response to that. Chimney just snaps his gum, grinning.

Buck attempts a cheesy one liner when they're back at the firehouse. This earns him a part way baffled and part way amused chuckle from Eddie when he responds with 'Alright.' looking to Chim and Hen with an ~Are you seeing this?~ expression. Hen and Chim just hide their amusement behind their mugs.

Buck tries a few more times before giving up.

'Fine. You guys were right. Eddie is unflappable. I clearly don't know what I was talking about.'

'Hey, at least it was fun to watch you try.' Chimney teases. Hen smiles in amusement.

And that was that until much later on when Buck is cooking dinner and Eddie is helping. Buck comes up behind Eddie to reach for something over his shoulder and without thinking says 'Man, you smell good!' He turns his head just shy of pressing his nose to Eddie's neck. 'What is that?'

The spatula in Eddie's hand clatters to the floor and in his panic to attempt to catch it he elbows over the salt shaker. A deep red creeps up his neck and settles in his cheeks as he rights the salt shaker. He clears his throat. 'Uh, it's, uh ,the cologne you...um got me for my birthday last year.' Eddie attempts to compose himself and bends down to pick up the spatula.

'Really?' Buck asks surprised and oblivious to Eddie's flustered state leans in for another whiff. There's a THWACK sound and Eddie winces as pain blooms in his knee from where he knocked it against the counter.

Hen and Chimney are staring slack jawed from the couch.

'You were right.' Chimney admits, shell shocked.

'Huh?' Buck lifts his head to look at Chimney and Hen. Eddie also snapping his attention in their direction.

'He does get flustered. So very flustered.' Chim says in a daze. 'Not unflappable. Not unflappable at all...'

Eddie frowns in complete bafflement, his face still beet red. 'What?'

[winter-parrot]

making my official entrance into the 911 fandom / bucktommy with a fic for #bucktommyhiatusevent week one: home.

buck looks for home in the aftermath of season 8. | 2.5k

now on ao3 as well!

------------

Turns out living in your car is not like riding a bicycle. His body does not magically remember how to fold up into the back seat of his Jeep and fall asleep. If anything, it feels like the space has somehow shrunk since the last time he’s done this. Although, that might have something to do with how much he’s bulked up in the last seven years since he settled in LA and became a firefighter.

It’s alright. It’s not like he’d really expected better. He’d hoped, sure. He’d hoped for a lot of things, things that did not include sleeping in his car. But hope is in short supply these days, and it’s not about to make a surprise appearance for anything so trivial as Buck’s apartment hunting woes.

It was only supposed to be for a day or two, is the thing. Just until he could find a new place to move into. But one day stretched into two into three, and somehow he’s already in his second week of car-living. His bad leg started protesting on day five, and now his back is joining in. He suspects every muscle in his body will rebel against him, one by one by one, within the next week.

The problem is, he has nowhere else to go. Nowhere has felt right. It’s not like he hasn’t tried, either. He’s been doing nothing but apartment hunting in his free time—not like there’s a whole lot else to do, living in his car—and the real estate agent helping him seems increasingly ready to stab him just to get this endless search over with. He doesn’t blame her, at this point. It feels like he’s seen every available apartment within a two-hour radius of the station house.

And yet, not a single one has felt right. Has felt like a place he could call his own, a place that might become home.

Maybe the problem is actually bigger than an apartment. Maybe the problem is just him, all of him and the hopeless needy wanting thing in his chest. Maybe he’s just Bucking it up, like always. Maybe there’s actually no right place for him in LA, and he’s just an idiot chasing a pipe dream.

It’s not so far fetched a thought, really. He keeps finding himself wanting things he’s never going to find. Things that would be hard enough to get one of, never mind all together—and that’s even before he considers LA real estate and his own less-than-impressive budget.

Knowing it’s unrealistic doesn’t stop him from wanting, as always. He longs for exposed beams and brick walls and a long dark dining table, like the firehouse. Wonders briefly if that’s why he liked his old place; the layout vaguely resembled the firehouse, with the open plan and the loft. Has to stop himself before he gets maudlin about missing the loft, on top of everything else. He pictures a big back yard with a grill, like Bo— like Athena’s old place. Makes himself stop imagining before his thoughts can stray to Bobby, to all the times he stood in that familiar space, cooking or hosting a party or manning the grill like he never will again. Thinks instead of a bright sunny living room and a big garage for his bike and his jeep and his side projects, like he’d seen at… well. Like he’d seen in someone else’s house a few times, months ago.

Those months ago feels like a different lifetime, now. Back then, he had a loft he liked well enough. He had a job he loved. He had Bobby and backyard barbecues and shared dinners. He had a family in the 118. He had a best friend whom he could always turn to, whose child he loved like his own. He had a boyfriend he could envision an actual future with.

Now, he’s got no solid roof over his head; a job he’s still debating transferring out of, never mind his cancelled transfer request; no Bobby, no backyard barbecues, no family dinners; no family that needs him or even wants him around; a best friend who maybe hates him for making things about himself, again; and no boyfriend. It’d almost be funny, how fast and hard everything fell apart, if it wasn’t his own life he had to live through every day.

He considers, vaguely, the possibility that Maddie may have accidentally cursed him, back when she told him he had to learn to be alone. Here he is, all alone now, and learning that same lesson again for the thousandth time. You’d think it would get easier over time, but somehow each review seems to make it worse and worse. It’s also possible he accidentally cursed himself, when he complained to Eddie about everything falling apart. If only he’d known back then just how far away rock bottom still was. Or it could be that he was simply cursed from birth. Couldn’t save Daniel, couldn’t do the one thing he was literally born to do; couldn’t ever make his parents happy, no matter how much he tried; couldn’t get Maddie to come with him, when he was running towards freedom and wanted her at his side; couldn’t ever stop a partner from leaving him behind, no matter how much he loved them and loved them and loved them.

Doesn’t really matter why or how, really. Point is, he’s pretty sure there has to be some kind of curse upon him. Everyone else seems to have somebody, but he’s always the one left behind. Left alone. Sleeping in his car, because he doesn’t even have a couch he can reliably crash on.

He can’t go to Maddie and Chimney; they have a newborn infant at home, on top of Chimney’s soon-to-be captaincy, and recovering from Maddie’s kidnapping barely rhree months ago. Can’t go to Athena, can’t intrude on her and May and Harry’s grief, not when they lost the most out of them all. Can’t go to Hen, barging in on her and her family when Mara’s still settling in and everyone is fragile. Can’t go to Eddie, can’t… well. Can’t do much with Eddie at all, right now. Can’t go to Ravi, because they might be friends but they’re not that kind of friends, not yet, and maybe not for years yet while the grief sits between them looming larger than their friendship. Can’t go to Tommy, because Buck’s not his problem anymore—anyway he’s done more than enough for Buck already, what with stealing a helicopter to piss off the Army and bearing Bobby’s casket with them.

Can’t go to the firehouse, because for all that it felt like home, he can’t actually live there. Besides, it doesn’t really feel like home anymore. Not with Gerrard in the captain’s office, and no family dinners, and a cavernous yawning chasm cutting through everything that no one will talk about. Not without Bobby.

So he’s stuck in the car. He could shell out for a hotel room for a few nights, probably, but that’s expensive. And it just feels stupid, too. Like admitting defeat. He used to do this all the time, in that stretch of time between driving away from Maddie and ending up at the fire academy. Being a failed Navy SEAL or ranch hand-ing or bartending in Peru was all fun and good, he doesn’t regret it, but it hadn’t exactly left him flush with cash. Hadn’t been very stable or reliable, for that matter. He’d thought he’d left that part of his life behind him, when he finally settled at the fire academy and settled into his own skin, but well. Life’s full circle, or something like that.

Buck drives aimlessly, letting the hour turn late in the hopes that sheer exhaustion will overcome the mounting discomfort of not sleeping in a bed. Or maybe not so aimlessly; the clock is just ticking over midnight when he looks around to realize habit or fate or his goddamn curse has brought him to a familiar neighbourhood.

Stupid. This was such a bad idea. This wasn’t the kind of neighbourhood where you could get away with just parking on the side of the street in a strange car and sleeping the night. Someone was going to call the cops on him, if he tried that. He should drive away, leave it behind, and find a parking lot or something.

But now that he’s here, now that he’s so close, the hopeless needy wanting thing in his chest is clawing at the insides of his ribs like a caged beast. He can’t stop himself from driving on instead of turning around like he most definitely should. He doesn’t have it in him to resist, is worn too paper-thin in and threadbare to put up any more of a fight than a wet paper bag. Isn’t even sure he wants to, really, even if he is sure that he should.

The lights are dark in the house, because it’s getting on 12:30 now and sane people have gone to bed. He really should leave, now. Shouldn’t interrupt the peace of this night, crashing into it like a wrecking ball. Shouldn’t disturb Tommy and bleed his petty troubles all over him, any more than he should bother Chim or Maddie or Hen or Athena with it. All the reasons why he can’t go to Tommy haven’t magically disappeared just because he’s somehow ended up in front of Tommy’s house.

But the hopeless needy wanting thing in Buck’s chest is holding the reins, now. It kinda feels like he’s watching someone else move, like that hopeless needy wanting thing has taken over his body. Hopeless-needy-wanting-Buck pulls the Jeep right up into the driveway. Kills the engine and locks the door behind him once he gets out. Walks up to the door on legs that are only slightly unsteady. Knocks.

There’s no answer, because duh. It’s 12:30 at night. Tommy might not even be home, might be on shift at Harbour. Or on a romantic date with someone that ends up at their house, not his. Or watching Buck through a gap in the curtains somewhere, wondering why the hell his ex won’t leave him the fuck alone and hoping Buck just goes away.

The thought hurts, but he wouldn’t blame Tommy for it. Not after what he said in that kitchen, setting his second—third?—chance ablaze faster than an uncontrolled wildfire in the peak of August heat. Even if the idea of Eddie being competition is more ridiculous than ever, and hurts in a whole new way now.

Buck stands there, blank in the throbbing ache of his heart and his body. Could’ve been for thirty seconds or thirty minutes, he’s not sure. Time’s been getting a little hazy at the edges, these past weeks, and the simple act of digging out his phone to check feels like an insurmountable effort. It’s like all the exhaustion has caught up to him, all at once. He debates the merits of just going to sleep right there, curled up on Tommy’s front steps like a stray cat.

The door opens. Buck doesn’t register it for a second, not until a sleep-rough voice is saying his name. “Evan?”

Adrenaline spikes through his veins, wakes him right back up and deposits him rudely back into his body. Oh God, he’s really doing this. He’s really done this, shown up at Tommy’s door in the dead of night like the world’s worst uninvited houseguest. “T-tommy, I’m sorry. I just, I-I- I should go, I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

There’s a hand on his arm, a touch so gentle he can barely feel it. It shuts him right up anyway. There’s no room in Buck’s brain for anything other than the warmth and strength of Tommy’s big hand, palpable even through his shirt.

“Do you want to come inside?” Tommy asks, searching Buck’s face. “You look like you could use some sleep. And maybe a friendly face.” Tommy’s lips press shut after that, pinched at the corners like he didn’t mean to say that. He swallows tightly and looks away, avoiding Buck’s eyes.

Buck is fascinated by the click of his throat, but not more than he’s enraged by the uncertainty behind the motion. Tommy, who showed up for him and for Chim in defiance of the Army and the FBI and Incident Command. Tommy, who flew the most insane evasive maneuvers like it was nothing, and then almost got himself arrested for it. Tommy, who made him a feast for breakfast and bought a bottle of hopeful champagne that went to his waste after that single, beautiful night at the house that was never Buck’s. Tommy should never sound so uncertain. And Buck is the one who put that hesitation there, with his stupid words that mornin after. Maybe not all of it, maybe some of it predates his own mistakes, but enough.

The anger unsticks his mouth long enough to say, “You’re the friendliest face I’ve seen in weeks.” Means it, too. Except maybe Christopher, but thinking about him leads to Eddie, and he can’t. He just can’t, not right now.

Tommy looks back up at him, a glimmer in his eyes that fades into concern. He looks at Buck, really looks at Buck; Buck feels seen for maybe the first time since… since the lab. He’s terrified that Tommy will see all the ugly parts, the rotting grief and the worn-down useless bits of him that can’t even do the one thing Bobby asked him to. Can’t keep them together, can’t help anyone, can’t be needed. Can’t be enough for anybody.

Tommy finishes his assessment. Steps back. Speaks, before Buck can fully begin to panic about having the door slammed shut in his face. “Tell me about it?” He takes another step back, pulling the door open wider. Inviting Buck into his life, his heart, his home.

Buck takes the invitation, and walks in.

[delectablehallway]

I want buddie to platonically have another kid together. I want them to have a conversation where Chris mentions offhandedly that he sees Buck as his dad, and Eddie doesn’t correct him, and Buck kinda internally crashes out about it. But then he talks to Eddie, and Eddie is like “well yeah? He’s our son”. And maybe Chris brings it up; asks if they ever want to have another kid, or says he’d like a little sister like Denny has. Or maybe Buck says it. Says to Eddie; “I want a baby”. Maybe it’s right after Chim and Maddie’s son is born, maybe it’s in the hospital, Baby Han a wall away. Maybe it’s Eddie. Maybe Eddie says “I want”. However it happens, I want them to have a kid together, and I want them to still be dancing around each other when they do. They live together, they have two kids, and they’re still ‘just friends’. I think that’s a hilarious yet beautiful concept that only a couple as insane as buddie could pull off. Imagine the possibilities. Imagine Maddie’s suffering. “He’s just my best friend Maddie 🙄” “you have TWO KIDS TOGETHER” she’d lose it.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Take it All Off

Evan “Buck” Buckley x plus size!fem!reader

You show Buck your new outfit and he’s more than happy to show you how much he loves it.

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) body worship, body insecurity

Thanks @the-witty-pen-name for giving me this idea!

You check yourself out in the mirror, turning this way and that, admiring what you look like in the little number that you bought. It somehow looks even better than it did in the dressing room. The top is definitely more low cut and revealing than you would usually go for. It’s a pretty green color and laces up in the front. It shows off more than you usually would, but you have to admit that you love the way you look. Especially paired with the jeans you also just bought.

They hug your body in just the right spots and now you can’t wait for Buck to get home, knowing that he’ll love your new look. He loves you if whatever you want to wear but you know that he especially loves when you wear something tight, the way the fabric hugs your curves. It never fails to make him want to take you right then and there.

You hear the front door open and you tighten the laces to give yourself more cleavage then try your best to put on a flirty face as you see Buck enter the room in the reflection of the mirror. His eyes widen as he gets a good look at you and you continue to fake flirty faces at him.

He marches over and grabs hold of your arm, turning you around to face him. His eyes rake over your entire body, lust filling them as he does so. He doesn’t know what the occasion is, but he’s not going to question it. He thinks you look fucking hot.

He was already hard beyond belief from the photo you sent of the outfit while he was at work, but now he can barely hold it in any longer seeing you in person. He’s got to have you and he’s got to have you right now. He’s going to worship every inch of your body, to show you just how much he loves it. Especially because he knows that you need reassurance sometimes.

“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say as his eyes travel back up to your cleavage. “I mean-fuck-” He’s at a loss for words and your cheeks heat at what you assume is a compliment.

“You like it?” You ask and his eyes travel back up to yours, giving you a look as if to ask if you’re serious.

“Love it,” he replies. “Let me show you how much.” There’s no way you’re going to say no to that. He sits at the end of the bed and helps you straddle his waist, his hands resting on your waist, his favorite place to hold onto. Your arms warm around his neck as he pulls you in for a kiss.

He’s warning you up like always, being gentle before getting rough like he knows you like. You’re the one who always takes it there but he loves giving you the control. He just wants his girl to be happy and he doesn’t care what he has to do to make it happen.

“I’m going to fucking worship you,” he whispers against your lips. “Gonna show you just how much I love you. All of you. Because as much as I love that top, honey, it has to come off.”

Your cheeks heat at his words and he pulls you in for another kiss, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly as his tongue flicks into your mouth. It plays with yours and you can’t help but moan at the feeling, needing him now more than ever.

He continues to kiss you as if his life depends on it as he unlaces the top, going as slowly as possible, wanting to savor your kisses as he does so. Once he’s got it all undone, he pulls back as he pushes it off of your shoulders, the thing falling down your arms and clattering to the floor.

Buck takes a moment to take in your now bare chest. He’s always so taken aback by how absolutely beautiful you are, almost like he’s looking at you for the first time. He always feels like the luckiest man in the world and he can’t believe that out of all the men on this earth, you chose him. And he’ll never take that for granted.

He leans you back just a touch as his hands rest against your bare back. He leans down and pressed feather light kisses to your shoulder, peppering it with them before making a line of them across your chest to the other shoulder. In between, he whispers compliments into your skin, wanting you to know exactly what it is about you that he loves so much.

“Your skin is so soft,” he says as his lips find their way to your neck, tilting your head to the side so he has more access. “And you smell so good.” He takes a deep breath through his nose to get a whiff. “I love when you spray your perfume on my clothes.”

“I’ll do it more often,” you reply as he buries his face into your neck.

“Please do.” He presses another kiss to your neck and another and another before he goes in for a hard suck, making you gasp before melting into him. He knows how much you love when he leaves his mark on you.

He continues to lick and suck on your neck as your hands rest on his shoulder blades. And when he bites down, you let out a loud moan as your fingers curl, your nails digging into his back. He’s holding back a smug smile as he hears how good he’s making you feel.

Your back arches into his as he bites down again and again, making you moan over and over until you can’t take it anymore, orgasming as he gives you one more bite before pulling away.

As Buck picks you up and carries you over to the bed, you know that this is far from over. And you’re happy to let him do anything he wants to you. For once, he’s in charge and you’re looking forward to lying down and taking it.

His hands go to unbutton your jeans and he pulls them down your legs with a little struggle but he eventually gets them off, followed by your panties which both end up in a pile on the floor. He takes a moment to take in your naked body before taking off his own clothes, throwing them to the side where yours have been discarded.

Before you get a chance to look at him, he places himself on top of you and takes your hands in his before kissing your lips. This one is more gentle than the others but it still makes your head spin, especially when he smiles into it because you make him that happy. You really can’t believe you found the perfect man.

Just when you’re getting into it, he pulls away and goes back to kissing your body again, whispering more compliments into your skin, making it heat.

“I love your stretch marks,” he says as he lets his fingers dance along the grooves of the ones that line your hips. He tells you this all the time but feels the need to every time he thinks about it because he just wants to assure you that he loves you just the way you are. “I know you don’t, but I love them. They not only give you character, but they make you you.”

You can feel yourself tearing up and it makes you feel silly considering what you’re about to do but you can’t help it. Buck always knows exactly what you need to hear. He wipes away your tears then pressed a kiss to every single stretch mark he can find and you can’t help but feel yourself tear up again, knowing for sure that this is the most you’ve ever felt loved in your life.

When he comes back up, he peppers your face with kisses, letting you know that you can cry if you need to, wiping the tears away as you fall.

“I just love you,” you tell him which makes him smile before he leans in for yet another kiss.

“I love you too,” he replies and when he pulls back to look you in the eyes again, he knows that you’re ready. He goes to reach for a condom but you’re quick to stop him and he hopes that he hasn’t done something to upset you.

“I don’t want to use one. I want to feel you. I want it to feel more intimate.” He smiles again as he leaves the condom on the bedside table. Neither of you have ever done this before but you have to admit that it feels freeing.

You both watch as he gets inside you-just the tip so you’re not overwhelmed-and he slowly starts to thrust. The whole thing feels so foreign but you both have to admit that feels so good.

Buck’s pace picks up just a bit more and the fact that you already look like you’re close encourages him to go even faster, even harder. You’re already coming undone, feeling like you could come apart any second. And Buck’s encouraging words are definitely helping.

“You look so pretty, angel. Sound so pretty. Make some more sounds for me?” His hands grab hold of your hips, nails digging into your skin as he goes even harder, pounding into you again and again, his sweet words contradicting his movements.

You can feel him, all of him and you’re sure that he’s never been this rough with you before but you definitely don’t hate it. You love that he doesn’t feel like he has to treat you like you’re fragile. Just because you’ve felt insecure in the bedroom before doesn’t mean that you don’t like it rough from time to time.

“That’s it, just like that,” Buck encourages as he watches you moan again and again. You buck your hips against his as your hands move up to his shoulders. He catches you off guard when his hands slide underneath you, maneuvering you so he can get even farther inside, and you whine, tears pricking your eyes again as you can practically feel him in your stomach. “Look at you. Taking all of me so well. Such a good girl for me.”

You know this is going to be the shortest you’ve ever lasted, but you can feel yourself getting progressively more tired as his thrusts get more intense. Your orgasm is approaching as your eyes start to get heavy.

He’s still going as you reach your peak, knowing that you don’t have any more in your, feeling your body getting lip. So as you’re coming down, getting progressively more tired as Buck pulls out, you don’t even have the energy to move when he starts to clean you up. You just lie there as he cleans himself up.

And when he comes back from disposing of the towel, he helps you get into the bed where he pulls you to him, bare skin against bare skin. He kisses you again and again as his fingers dance lazily along your back before you both eventually fall asleep in each other’s arms, thinking that you’re the luckiest people in the world to have each other.

[maikelfist]

Can we please talk about the first time Tommy lifts Buck?

Tommy and Buck find themselves pressed against the door of the loft, Buck's back hitting the wood. They barely managed to get through it because the idea of not kissing is unbearable. Their tongues are tangled together in a heated kiss, and Buck begins to slide down, losing his footing as he melts into Tommy's embrace. He revels in the sensation of having to lift his chin to meet Tommy's lips, is addicted to the way Tommy settles comfortably in the V of his legs, as if he owns the space.

Buck is more than happy with their position, but Tommy seems to have other ideas. With a growl, he squeezes the back of Buck's thighs and heaves him up, dormant instinct making Buck wrap his legs around Tommy’s waist, his arms tightening around ridiculously broad shoulders.

God, the sound Buck makes. He’s had orgasms that were less loud than the noise of pleasured shock he just moaned into Tommy's mouth. Tommy is looking up at him now, and it's almost funny how familiar that sensation is in a position that is otherwise so very much not. Buck can't even imagine how red his cheeks must be with how lightheaded he feels.

Tommy pauses, a hint of fond amusement in his eyes at Buck's wide-eyed expression. “That okay?” he asks gently. Another thing that Buck likes so so so much about Tommy, how he always checks in with him.

The warmth that swells in Buck’s chest helps him gather his thoughts amidst the euphoric rush, enough to stammer, “I-I think I just—felt the creation of a new pleasure hormone in my brain.”

The laughter bubbling out of Tommy sounds like it was startled out of him. “Yeah? What're you gonna call it?”

Buck can’t help but mirror the joy on Tommy’s face, squeezing him tighter with both arms and legs just to feel that this is actually happening. That Tommy can carry him. “You really expect me to think right now?” he breathes.

A grin curls Tommy’s lips, and there’s a cockiness in there that is so very well deserved. “No. No, I don’t.”

Tommy's mouth finds his again, and Buck happily allows Tommy to do the thinking and heavy lifting for him.

—

“...Tommytocin. Kinartonine. Tommamine?” Buck mutters to himself later in bed.

Tommy, half asleep, squints at him and asks, “What are you mumbling?”

Buck, still lost in his thoughts, responds, “I’m coming up with a name for that new hormone.”

It takes Tommy a moment to grasp what Buck means, but then he huffs in amusement. “Shouldn’t you be naming it after yourself?”

Buck looks at him, his brows furrowed as he states the obvious. “No? I’m gonna call it after the person who caused it.”

Tommy shakes his head, the same fondness that tugs at his smile making him pull Buck closer and kiss his birthmark.

With that warmth between them, Buck's mind drifts back to his thoughts.

[frightfullytreeish]

post 8x13 episode coda, facetime cooking yet again

"So you just stay hidden and keep quiet-"

"Yeah, dad, I know how surprises work."

"-and then when I give the signal, I'll turn the camera on you and you shout surprise!"

Chris rolls his eyes from where he's sitting at the kitchen table, putting minimal effort into tearing up the mozzarella. "It's just Buck. You don't have to be so weird about it."

"I'm not being weird," Eddie says, checking his watch for the fifteenth time in five minutes.

It's normal to be excited about seeing your best friend and getting to share some good news with him, isn't it? Nothing weird about looking forward to that. One night with Chris back under his roof felt like a dream after the nightmare came true; all Eddie wants to do apart from talk to his son is talk to Buck about it.

Checking the time again, he watches the seconds hand tick around to 12pm precisely before he sends the facetime request; Buck accepts it immediately, as if he was just standing in his kitchen 800 miles away waiting for Eddie to call. His face fills the screen with a broad, toothy grin that slips in and out of focus while he fiddles with his cell phone, getting it propped up perfectly before he steps back and salutes.

"Afternoon, chef."

"Afternoon, chef," Eddie grins back. "What's on the menu today?"

"Stir fry. With-" Buck pauses dramatically, holding up a brown paper bag and shaking it at the camera, "the freshest baby king oysters on the west coast."

"Mrs Choi still hustling you, huh?"

"We still have our mutually beneficial arrangement," Buck corrects him, loftily.

From behind him, Eddie hears Chris cough out something that sounds like 'gross'. He glances over his shoulder, catches Chris' eye and has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at his son's horrified expression.

"I'm telling you, man," he says, more for Chris' benefit than anything, "she's saving way more on labour than you are on mushrooms. You know how much it costs to get someone to come clear your gutters?"

"Yeah, but it's fun. I found a California red-legged frog up there once! They're a threatened species, you know."

"Wish I'd known a month ago you think cleaning gutters is fun. Woulda brought you out with me, saved me doing it all myself."

It's the wrong thing to say; Eddie feels it as soon as he's said it, in the burst of silence that follows and the way Buck's expression slips, just for a second. And there's the rub, right? That Eddie didn't - couldn't, shouldn't - bring Buck with him.

"Like you could afford my rates," Buck says after a beat too long, smoothing out the silence with a laugh while he busies himself gathering his ingredients, not looking at the camera.

"Oh, my mushrooms aren't good enough for you?"

"'Fraid not. So what's cooking today, chef?"

"Pizza from scratch."

Glancing up at Eddie again, Buck whistles. "Dough and sauce?"

"Of course, what do you take me for?"

"What's the special occasion?"

"No reason," Eddie says as casually as he can while he's trying not to smile. "Just making sure my sous chef earns his keep."

He sees Buck's face light up in gleeful understanding the moment before he turns the camera on Chris, who waves his mozzarella-speckled fingers and yells, "Surprise!", only sorta sarcastically.

"Holy shit!" Buck shouts. "Look at you, Chris! How tall are you now? You're gonna be towering over Eddie in no time."

"I'm coming for the crown," Chris says.

"Eddie, you'd better sleep with one eye open! I mean, that is, if - Chris, you're - ?"

"Back where he belongs," Eddie fills in, holding his cell phone out like a teenager taking a selfie so he can smack an obnoxiously loud kiss onto the top of Chris' head with them both in frame. "Moved him in last night."

Buck's smiling so broadly at the two of them that Eddie has to take a quick screenshot: Buck, beaming in the kitchen Eddie still thinks of as his, with Eddie and Chris in their pop-up window in the corner of the screen, Chris caught mid disgruntled eye-roll.

"That's awesome," Buck says. "I - I'm so happy for you both."

And of course Buck is happy, Eddie knows - doesn't need telling - but as the call goes on and him and Chris fill Buck in on yesterday's disastrous chess tournament and Eddie's worst passenger this morning, Buck gets quieter and quieter. Until finally Chris gets bored of waiting for the pizza sauce to finish reducing and wanders off to play Minecraft, and then it's just Buck and Eddie again, in not-quiet companionable silence. Eddie gives the sauce another stir, and waits.

Without looking up from whatever he's chopping, Buck says, "It's stupid."

"You? Never."

"Har dee har," Buck scoffs, smiling anyway. "But it - it's fine, I don't wanna - tonight's about Chris being back home with you."

"Once it's time to assemble the pizza, maybe. Right now he's busy digging perfect squares, or whatever it is they do? I - really don't get Minecraft," Eddie admits and Buck laughs again, looking back up at the camera. "Point is, it's just me and you now. In fact…"

Turning the burner right down, Eddie leaves the sauce to simmer and grabs a beer from the fridge. He carries the bottle and his phone out into the backyard; he hasn't done anything with it beyond hacking back the wildest clumps of weeds, too busy making the indoors livable to think about the outdoors, but there's an old bench on the back porch. Eddie drops down onto it, props his feet up on a pile of loose bricks and balances his cell phone on the peeling window sill.

"There," he says, cracking open his beer. "Spill. What's up?"

On screen, Buck has moved to lean against the kitchen counter, looking down at Eddie in the phone in his hands. He shrugs.

"It's stupid," he says again. "Guess I just realised I - I'm kinda jealous. Of you, getting to hang out with Chris. But mainly of Chris, for getting to hang out with you. It's petty, I know. I just… miss you."

His camera is pointing right up his nose, an angle that should be objectively terrible for anyone, but staring into Buck's nostrils still feels like there's no view Eddie would rather have. Nobody else in the world, in this moment, that Eddie would rather talk to.

"I get it," he says.

Buck sighs, a sad dog sort of sigh. "Yeah. I know. I know you miss me too."

"Don't you forget it."

Eddie sips his beer, picks at the label, frowns out at his yard; it's a good size, lined with mature trees. Eddie could grow flowers, maybe, like Shannon always wanted, or try his hand at tomatoes. There's room to put down roots, if he wanted.

If Buck were here, he'd probably spend an hour or two working out what kind of trees they were, until he got distracted by a rare species of millipede or whatever.

"I'm jealous too," Eddie says to the yard. "Of everyone at the 118 who still gets to have your back on a call. Of - you know your sister keeps sending me photos of you when you guys're hanging out? I guess so I feel included or something, I don't know, but it's making me jealous of her too.

"Hell, I think I'm even jealous of the house, because it's yours now. I don't know, man. I mean it. I miss you, and I get it, okay?"

There's a pause, long enough for Eddie to stop peeling the label off his beer bottle and glance back at his phone again - back up Buck's nostrils. Buck's head is ducked, chin into his chest, and he's grinning kinda bashfully.

"Okay, Eddie," he says.

They look at each other. Buck lifts his cell phone back up to face height again, so that they're eye-to-eye, almost, and Eddie imagines everything else he could be jealous of in the kitchen of 4995 South Bedford right now. The counter under Buck's thighs, the phone in his hand, the glass screens between them.

"You should come visit," Eddie says. "In a week or two, maybe, once Chris has settled in."

"Okay," Buck says again, softly.

"Good," Eddie says.

He takes Buck back into the kitchen. Pictures him there in the room, in the flesh, while he stirs his pizza sauce and Buck heats the oil in his wok 800 miles away. Eddie could be jealous, he imagines, of the air between their bodies, if he let himself.

He imagines letting himself.

Now on AO3 here

[letsdosciencetoit]

WIP Wednesday - 5 + 1 BuckTommy - Part 2

Five times the 118 finds out that Tommy is married, and 1 time they find out Buck is, too.

Part 1

2. Maddie

Post partum after baby Robert has been both easier and more challenging than before. 

It’s easier now because covid is a distant memory, there’s no city wide black out, they have a house, and they have a well-established network of family and friends who might as well be family stopping by and helping out.  She knows what she’s doing, and what to expect to an extent, too.

It’s harder, too, though.  When Robert cries, she can’t drop everything to help him, because she has Jee to consider, too.  Jee is 4, and craves her independence, but also needs help and is prone to meltdowns that seem to be without provocation.

As hard as it was on Chimney, Buck leaving the 118 has been a godsend to her.  He’s on a different shift than Chimney now, so he’s able to come by when Chimney is working and help her with Robert and Jee. 

Buck is more than happy to take baby Robert off her hand so she can spend some one-on-one time with Jee.  He’s happy to help get Robert down to sleep so that he and Jee can bake cookies in the kitchen.  Buck always seems so happy and full of energy when he comes to visit, but when the kids don’t occupy him, he’s more quite than she’s used to. 

She used to be able to read Buck better than she can now. Something shifted when she implied he had feelings for Eddie. She’s aware she maybe overstepped, but before she could consider apologizing she’d lost her voice, then Bobby died, and then Robert was born, and she just hasn’t been able to check in the way she wanted to.

Buck has Robert and Jee at the park while Chimney is playing basketball with the other first responders. Maddie takes the opportunity to have a shower, unload the dishwasher, and then puts her feet up to catch up on a little sleep. 

She wakes an hour later to Jee climbing into bed with her.  She opens her arms and pulls Jee to her.  “Where are Robert and Uncle Buck?” she asks, her voice a little gravely.

“Unky Buck is making sure Bobert goes for a nap,” Jee offers, and Maddie knows she’s going to be so sad when Jee finally starts saying their names properly.

“Do you want to have a nap with me, Jee?” Maddie asks, brushing Jee’s hair out of her face. 

“No mommy. I want to watch Bluey,” Jee declares, like Maddie was crazy for thinking otherwise.

Maddie gives her daughter another squeeze, and moves to push herself up off the bed.  “Okay sweetheart.  Lets get you a snack, and we’ll get Bluey on the TV for you.”

When they come out of the room, Buck is backing out of Robert’s room, pulling the door shut with a quiet click of the latch.  He grins softly at Maddie, and she has no doubt that Buck loves her kids as if they were his own.  

“Out like a light,” Buck offers.  “He was absolutely in love with watching the leaves on the trees.   The fresh air and stimulation did him some good.”

 “Jee looks like she had a good time, too.” Maddie smiles back.  “Thanks for this. Do you want to stick around until Chimney’s back? He’s going to pick up Thai for dinner.  I can ask him to grab something for you too.”

Buck gives her a rueful smile and a small shake of his head. “No, thanks Maddie. I’ve got to grab some groceries.  I’m planning on cooking dinner at home tonight.  Tell Chimney I say hi, though.”

***9-1-1***

Chimney gets home about 45 minutes after Buck has left.  He’s practically vibrating as he walks through the door, and Maddie has come to realize this means he’s learned something he doesn’t want to know and he needs to share the burden.  She keeps quiet, knowing he’s going to spill as soon as he gets his bag put away.

“Tommy’s married!” he blurts as he comes back into the kitchen.  Jee is thankfully distracted and painting.  She periodically still asks about “Unky Tommy,” and Maddie doesn’t want to have to explain to her again why they don’t see him any more.

“I’m sorry,”  Maddie responds. “Tommy’s married?  To who?”

Chimney shook his head.  “I was a little blindsided, I didn’t think to ask.  All I know is they got married a month ago, and he looks so disgustingly in love.  Do we need to tell Buck?  We can’t tell Buck, can we?  We just got our fridge space back.”

Maddie pauses, and thinks it over for a second. “Buck finally seems to be in a good space with his new station.  I don’t think we need to mention anything to him.  It’s not like the two of them really cross paths these days.”

Chimney deflates. “I want to be happy for Tommy. He seems really happy.  I just wish it wasn’t at Buck’s expense.” 

Part 3 Part 4

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Board games that have been banned at the 118 and why:

MONOPOLY: Ravi kept talking about real estate, Chim made an awkward lawsuit joke when Eddie got sent to jail and Buck kept demanding he be allowed to pay the bail.

SETTLERS OF CATAN: Buck and Eddie just simply end up sharing all their resources because they can't say no to each other. Buck said "thanks I'm so bricked up now" after Eddie traded him bricks once and Bobby threw the board off of the loft balcony.

CLUEDO: Chim has NO poker face (poker is ironically also banned after an LAFD wide notice was sent around following the poker date) and Bobby kept trying to call Athena for tips.

UNO: No one could agree on the rules and Hen ended up trying to use the official Uno twitter posts as proof and Bobby stormed off. On a second attempt, Chim started a +2 chain that went around the group twice and ended up with him having to pick up +16 cards, and as revenge he said the Q-word. Bobby burned the pack at the next group barbecue.

PICTIONARY- Eddie and Hen are too good at it because they've had to spend recent years deciphering their kids' drawings.

They also tried to do heads up but Buck didn't know any of the films and Eddie refused to use a phone for a "board game".

PLEASE ADD MORE IDEAS THIS IS SO FUN

Also thank you to @wayfarers0 @eddiesfagstache @blue-desert13 AND THE OTHER AMAZING EDDIEBUDDIEBLR PEOPLE I LOVE YOU ALL

[tommykinard6]

Here’s something I shall drop into the void

Buck waited for another two weeks after he first saw the text bubbles on his phone, opening his and Tommy’s chat at every possibility to wait. He waited for those bubbles to reappear, for a sign that Tommy was still thinking about him. But there was no sign, no bubbles, no nothing.

Buck had changed Tommy’s name in his phone to his own nickname in a valiant attempt to keep himself from reaching out. It didn’t take long for him to change it back, something in him desperately needing to see Tommy’s name. He was grasping at crumbs and he knew it.

Two weeks later, he nearly dropped his phone as the text bubble reappeared. His heart sped up and a lump appeared in his throat as he watched with baited breath. He was alone in the gym and he was glad of it. His friends meant well, he knew, but he didn’t want his phone snatched away from him again.

He’d already seen his future get snatched away. He couldn’t bear to watch it happen again.

The bubble went away, then reappeared just as the tones went off, calling five stations to a fully involved apartment fire. Cursing under his breath, Buck shoved his phone in his pocket and ran for the engine.

He checked his phone again just before arriving at the fire, heart sinking at the lack of message or bubble.

***

The blaze didn’t go down for hours. By the time they got back to the station, Buck had forgotten about his phone for the first time in weeks. As everyone else hit the showers, he finally pulled it out of his pocket for the first time in hours and froze.

There was no text message.

There was, however, a voicemail.

Buck’s feet took him of their own accord into the bunk room, away from any distractions. He fumbled with the buttons before shoving the phone to his ear. He couldn’t hit play fast enough.

“Evan.” Just hearing Tommy’s voice again made all the emotions surge, anger and sadness and longing and confusion all gelling into a thick lump in his chest. “Or B-Buck. I don’t know if I have the right to call you Evan anymore.”

It would always be Evan. Even for Tommy. Especially for Tommy.

“I just-I needed to say something. And I know you’re on shift. Probably at that fire downtown. Be safe. Please.” Buck didn’t know that he’d ever heard such uncertainty in Tommy’s voice. It was unfamiliar and unsettling. He didn’t like it. “This might be the coward’s way out. And I hope you don’t feel obligated to listen. I just need you to know something. You deserve answers, ones I didn’t give you before.”

There was a long moment of silence on the other end.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I want you to know that. I ran away because of my own problems, not because you did anything. You talked about me being an inspiration, but Evan, Buck, I’m anything but. I wanted nothing more than to agree to moving in. It wouldn’t be your place though. I have a house. It makes more sense to move into mine. I wanted that. I still want that and it’s not fair to you.

But at the same time, I realized that you-you think I’m a much better person than I am. Evan, you’re-you’re fucking amazing. You love unashamedly, you keep your family close, you aren’t afraid to be yourself. I’m always afraid. I’m never good enough. I’ve never been enough. Done some shit that I can never undo. Said shit I can’t take back. I hurt you, I hurt Abby, I hurt a lot of people by being a coward. Hurt myself most, I think, and I’ll never be deserving of you. And I was afraid of you figuring that out for yourself.

I shouldn’t have said all that shit about needing to explore. You don’t need to do that for your identity. I said you should because I knew that you would find someone worthy of you. It’s not me. I wanted it to be. I really fucking wanted it.” Tommy’s voice broke. Buck swiped at the silent tears running down his face, disturbing the soot settled there.

“I’m fucking selfish cause all I want is that future we had in front of us. I’m an idiot for letting you go and I would be an idiot if I tried to stay, knowing I could never deserve you. I’m so-so confused and lost and I just miss you. I love you and I’m a mess.”

Buck choked out a sob, scrubbing at his face.

“That’s not fair. I shouldn’t have said that. That’s not fair to you.” Tommy was quiet for another moment. “I think what I’m trying to say is that I ran because I was scared of you breaking my heart. I knew if I ran first, it would just be hurting myself. You hurting me, it’s something I could never predict or prepare for. It’s the unknown. Because all you’ve ever done is make me happy. I’ve never felt more alive than with you. Every moment we were apart sucked and these last few weeks…” Tommy trailed off again. Finally, he blew out a deep breath.

“I’m a mess. I thought I was put together. I thought I’d done my time in therapy and had worked through these issues, but I haven’t. I’m-I’m back in therapy now. I’ve got a lot of shit to work through. Feels good to tackle it though. I’m doing it for me mostly, but I’m also doing it for you. For us. Even if you would never take me back, I’m doing it because we deserved it. Because you deserved it.

I would take everything back that night if I could. I have no right to ask you to listen to this. I don’t know if you ever will. I have no right to beg for your forgiveness. To ask you for another chance. But if you let me, I would. Maybe not yet. I-I gotta work through some shit first. But I would spend every day and night for the rest of our lives making it up to you. I would never leave you again, not my choice. I’d spend the rest of my life making sure you’re loved and that you never doubt it.

You owe me nothing. You deserve better. You could tell me to fuck off, or ignore me. I’ll respect whatever you want. You never signed up for this. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”

The line went silent for a long time. Buck had to check to make sure the voicemail hadn’t ended, sniffling as he did so.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You’re it for me and I should’ve fought harder to tell you. I should’ve told you I love you. I have a lot of regrets, Evan. You’ll never be one. Letting you go will be my biggest.”

And the voicemail ended.

“Fuck.” Buck whispered, rubbing away the tears from his eyes. “Fuck. Goddamnit.” He pulled up the automated transcript of the voicemail and read it until his eyes swam again. He saved the voicemail and the transcript before pulling up their messages.

Buck: you’re gonna say all that to me in person. And then we’re going to talk about it. No more making decisions for me, but we’re going at your pace now not mine

Buck: and I’m going to say it back in person

Therapy would do them both good. Maybe therapy together would help too. And maybe it would all be for nothing, but even as much as it all still hurt, Buck wasn’t going to deny himself what he wanted anymore. These last weeks had been hell enough.

Buck: and it’s still Evan for you

The bell went off in that moment and Buck wiped his face again hurriedly, grimacing at the realization that he hasn’t even gotten to shower yet as he ran out of the bunk room. The others looked him up and down in concern as he climbed into the truck, but he didn’t pay attention. He didn’t even know what kind of call they were going on, too in his own head to listen. His mind just kept looping on,

I love you

[aliesbienish]

The idea was good, the execution not so much

Established Buddie x Reader, ft our fave Diaz Chris. You and Chris plan a surprise for the boys, it doesn't quite go to plan.

The house was quiet when Eddie and Buck arrived home from a 24 hour shift. Usually when they finished at a reasonable hour they came home to hustle and bustle. You and Chris generally had music playing as you cooked up a storm throughout the kitchen.

Instead it was almost eerie silent in their house, in fact if it wasn’t for your car parked in the driveway they’d assume no one was home.

Buck shrugged at Eddie as they made the way down the hallway, peering in doors as they passed. It wasn't till they opened the door to the living room that they found any signs of life. Twinkling fairy lights were hung across the walls, basking the room in a light golden glow. Soft instrumental music was playing gently from the speaker and the table was set for four.

"What's going on?" Eddie whispered to his partner, Buck for his part looking just as bewildered. "Where are they?"

Buck shook his head in confusion, making his way into the living room. He spotted you and Chris pretty quickly, both sunk into the sofa fast asleep. Eddie followed him over and both men couldn't help the grin when they saw their partner and son, clearly accidentally napping while waiting for the boys to come home.

"Hi mijo," Eddie whispered, gently pulling Chris from your embrace and into his arms. "Dad! Bucky! You're home," He whispered wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Mom and I were supposed to surprise you, we didn't mean to fall asleep,"

"We can see that superman." Buck whispered, "What's the big surprise?"

"Ay dios mio," Eddie suddenly exclaimed, staring down at Chris in shock.

"What Eds?" Buck questioned.

"Look at Chris' shirt Ev,"

Chris grinned stretching out so Buck could read it properly. There sprawled across his tiny chest were the words 'BEST BIG BROTHER'.

"Oh my god," Buck gasped, mouth opening and closing but no other words coming out.

"Surprise," You whispered nervously, having woken up from your nap to Eddie's shout of shock. Both boys whipped around to face you, as you grinned sheepishly.

"Baby, is this true? It's not a prank right?" Buck whispered, placing his hand across your stomach like he already expected a big bump to be there.

"It is, I found out yesterday. Chris and I had a big plan to tell you both, there's even a bun sitting in the oven," When Evan got a look of concern on his face you followed up with "the oven is turned off, I promise."

"You're sure? About being pregnant I mean."

"Positive, literally." Handing over multiple tests to each of the boys, all with the same result. "Chris was actually the one who mentioned it, I may be slightly bias but I think our son is a genius,"

"So Amy from school, her Mom is pregnant too and she was talking about how she is feeling sick and getting tired more often." Chris chattered happily, "So then when Mom was like that the last week I thought that maybe she was."

"That's great superman," Buck said absentmindedly.

You couldn't help but notice that Eddie hadn't even spoken yet, and Buck's tone was making you worried. While you had discussed expanding your family before, it was always talked about in the vague future and the idea that maybe they weren't ready was chewing you up.

"Hey Chris honey, I think you should get the card we made for your dads! I think it's sitting in your bedroom." He excitedly agreed, giving you a short time to talk to your partners.

"I know this is a shock, but is this okay? It's sudden but I love you both soo much and.."

"Baby," Buck interrupted, wrapping you in his arms. "this is the greatest gift you could ever give me. I can't wait to have another child with you two, honestly I can't wait to see Chris as a big brother." You sighed in relief knowing at least one of your partners was on board.

"Eds?" Buck whispered while directing the other mans head up gently with his hand and gently placing a kiss on his forehead. You both noticed the tears in his eyes as he struggled for words.

"I am so so grateful to you [y/n], for allowing me the opportunity to get to be a dad to another child again. I love you more than words can express." Tears of happiness began to fall down your cheeks as he pressed a soft peck to your lips and place his hand gently on your belly.

"And Buck, I can't wait to watch you be a Dad to this baby. You are an amazing parent to Chris but I am honored to be a dad with you again to this baby, to get to watch you Buck, and you too [y/n], get to experience every little moment together. Between us and Chris this baby is going to be so loved and cherished,"

Buck and Eddie wrapped you between them in a hug, whispering words of excitement and joy. You only parted when Chris came back in the room, a grin on his face as he thrust the card towards Eddie and Buck.

"Here" he grinned, passing over the card with the front reading '10 reasons why going to the zoo will help me be a better big brother!'

[callsign-dexter]

Little Nash Masterlist

***SOME FICS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS***

Summary: You, Y/N Nash, were the only Nash child to survive the fateful Minnesota apartment fire in 2014. Now it's just you and your dad battling whatever the world decides to throw at you.

Pairings: Bobby Nash x Daughter!Reader, Athena Grant x Adopted!Daughter!Reader, Athena Grant x Bobby Nash

Warnings: fluff, angst, inaccurate firefighter talk

Masterlist

A/N: Ages range. Additional warnings at the beginning of each fic.

Coming Soon

[faiell]

inspired by a scene from 9 1/2 days by @magpiefngrl

‘Harry?’ Urgent, clipped vowels, insistent at his ear. A cool hand shook Harry's shoulder, hot breath played on his cheek, and the smell of lavender tickled his nose. Without thinking, Harry raised his head and pressed his face at the source of the lavender smell, inhaling deeply. Dawn’s fabric softener brought him slowly back to himself. He opened his eyes to see he had his nose buried in Draco’s shoulder.

[winter-parrot]

#bucktommyhiatusevent week two: quotes or baking. i was trying to make this shorter than before, but i apparently have no self control and it's slightly longer instead.

tommy regrets the things he said, worries about evan, and finds him in a grocery store. | bucktommy | post season 8 | 2.9k

now on ao3 as well!

------

The worst thing about opening your mouth and shoving your entire foot into it at Mach 5, in Tommy’s regrettably expert opinion, is that there’s no way to take the words back. They stay out there in the world, immortal in his memory and everyone else’s.

Now that the competition’s out of the way sits right out in the open, like a monument to his ugliest insecurities. A plaque next to it reads Thank you for last night; it was fun. Across from them is a row of older statues commemorating I know how this ends and I’m not your last and You’d end up breaking my heart and See you around, Buck. He’s practically got a whole statuary’s worth of worst lines. Impressive, really.

He debates reaching out to Evan a dozen times, in the days after everything. Picks up his phone ten times a day—ten times an hour, if he’s interested in being honest, at least to himself. But his statuary of idiocy stops his hand every time, has him deleting countless half-written texts and forcefully putting his phone away. At least until his resolve crumbles, and he’s staring down at Evan’s number again.

Partly, he’s grieving Bobby Nash and wants to share in that with someone. Texting once or twice with Hen and Howie just isn’t cutting it. He doesn’t really feel comfortable intruding on their grief more than that, not with the decade and change of distance between them, recent reunions notwithstanding. Besides, their shared memories of the 118 is tainted by the long shadow of the version of Tommy they first met, and inviting a trip down memory lane feels a little bit like inviting that shadow in, too.

But mostly, he worries for Evan. He’s not the person who gets to take care of Evan, he knows that. He’s well aware that he blew up that chance with his own hands—or rather, his own stupid mouth—thank you very much. But that doesn’t stop him from worrying, all the goddamn time.

He likes to think he knows what’s important to Evan. It’s not even about his own perceptiveness as a boyfriend; it would honestly have been harder not to learn over six months spent in each other’s pockets, with the way Evan wears his heart openly, fearlessly, terrifyingly on his sleeve. And Bobby, well, Bobby was easily in the Top 5 most important people. Maybe even Top 2, right up there next to Maddie. They didn’t get much deeper than scratching the surface of each other’s festering wounds and deep-seated fears—another regret to add to the long, long list—but the little he heard about the Buckley parents made it painfully clear that there was little love to be found there. Which only made Bobby doubly, triply important to Evan.

He doesn’t have to imagine what the loss would do to Evan. He was there, watched uselessly over the monitors as Evan crumpled under the weight of it, falling to the ground right there in the hallway. Watched him scream like a wounded animal, at once furious and perversely grateful that the camera feed didn’t come with audio. Then he watched Evan slowly, painfully put himself back together, brick by crumbling brick like a collapsed building, so that he could help Athena walk out of that lab. So that he, the one walking and non-contaminated member of the 118 A-shift, could hold down the fort and take care of everyone despite and through his own grief.

So. Tommy’s worried. Evan seemed okay, or at least holding himself together, the last time they saw each other at Bobby’s funeral—but only if you ignored the heavy shadows under his eyes, and the empty darkness behind them. And Tommy watched him build himself back up in that lab, knows better than to trust that the brick-wall facade won’t fall over in a faint breeze, or when the shaky foundation eventually crumbles. Knows it’s only a matter of time before Evan runs out of steam and collapses like he did in the lab.

But Tommy doesn’t get to be the one who catches him anymore. Besides, Evan’s got his whole team, his whole family right there around him. People who Evan loves and trusts, and who love him in return; people who know him better than Tommy probably ever got to, who saw every day for eight years how important Bobby was to Evan, who can surely see the grief and loss and pain that Evan is trying so hard to hide, and yet still wearing so plainly on his face. They’ll take care of him. And Evan would surely prefer their care over Tommy’s. Especially if the scuttlebutt is true, and Diaz is back at the 118. (And Lucy is never allowed to know that he actually has an ear on the gossip these days, mostly in the faint hope of hearing something, any tiny thing about Evan. She’ll never let him hear the end of it. And most likely tattle to Sal, who’ll also never let him hear the end of it. They’d be helpful, keeping their on ear out, but it’s not worth the price. Not for a few weeks yet, anyway.) Competition or not, Diaz was Evan’s partner and best friend, and one of the most important people in Evan’s life. Having him around can only be good news for Evan, right?

Point is, Evan has a damn good support system, one he actually wants, one that didn’t walk out on him—one that does not include Tommy. He doesn’t want to be an unwelcome intruder among them, barreling clumsily over their shared grief over the loss of their captain with all the grace and welcome of a particularly clumsy bull in a china shop. Doesn’t want to inflict his unwanted presence on any of them, on Hen or Howie or Eddie, but especially on Evan. He knows better than to be the clingy ex-boyfriend, lingering on like a stubborn leech and unable to take a hint. And he is so, so afraid of adding on to Evan’s pain, of becoming one more problem to deal with when Evan’s life has been torn to shreds by Bobby’s death.

But none of that stops him from worrying. Pathetically, helplessly, obsessively worrying. So much that sometimes, when the worry and the longing become nearly unbearable, he starts haunting Evan’s neighborhood out of the vain hope of catching some distant glimpse of Evan going about his life. Just to reassure himself that Evan really was fine and taken care of and doesn’t need Tommy. It’s admittedly a little masochistic, because it will inevitably sting to see the proof of his own superfluity, but at least that’s better than the third sleepless night in a row staring at his phone.

It takes a week and two neighborhood wanderings before it occurs to him that this might not be Evan’s neighborhood anymore. Might be Eddie’s neighbourhood again, and Evan’s moved somewhere else, and Tommy simply would never know. Just like he didn’t know when Evan moved into Eddie’s house in the first place. He has a bit of a crisis over it, and then takes to haunting the 118’s neighbourhood as well as Evan’s. Just in case.

Which is why he’s currently wandering through a grocery store a few blocks from the 118 at the wrong side of sunrise. It’s a ridiculous hour to be in a grocery store, but he’s got a 48 starting in a few hours. He couldn’t sleep anyway, feeling that ever-present tug to be near Evan—or barring that, near somewhere Evan might be.

Or maybe his gut was onto something, this time.

Evan’s here. Evan is here, right in front of Tommy, standing in the produce section, staring at the pile of potatoes with the kind of lost and fragile expression usually reserved for little kids on calls who just watched their parents die.

Tommy’s first instinct is to pull Evan into a hug. His second instinct, after he remembers for the thousandth time that he doesn’t get to be the person comforting Evan anymore, is to look around for someone who does. They’re literally three blocks away from the station house, so surely someone is here with Evan. For all of Evan’s attempts to appear strong, it’s kind of obvious that he needs support; not because he’s weak, but because his very foundation was shaken like the aftermath of an earthquake, and it’ll take time to firm up the ground again. He needs scaffolding, in the meantime. Evan loves so loudly and deeply, after all; it shouldn’t be suprising that he lost loudly and deeply, too. If Tommy could see all that over a few shared hours at the funeral, always a few paces behind Evan, then the Evan’s family must see it all the more clearly. Any second now, someone was going to walk up to him and gently nudge him out of his stricken reverie.

He backsteps, trying poorly melt into the background of the cereal aisle. The brightly-coloured boxes look down at him and his oversized bulk with pity, but luckily Evan isn’t looking this way. He’s not looking much of any way at all, not even right in front of him at the potatoes. (Yukon Gold, supplies to memory of Evan flourishing in his kitchen. Great for creamy mashed potatoes.) Tommy holds his breath and waits and watches, just masochistic enough to want to see Evan taken care of before he takes his own leave.

He waits. He watches.

Tommy is so, so sure of the inevitability of a rescue, that it does not occur to him to step in. Not until a middle-aged woman awkwardly reaches past Evan to snag a few potatoes for herself. Her motion, or maybe her proximity, startles Evan out of his trance. The plastic basket in his hand drops with a clatter as he backs away on obviously unsteady legs.

Then, and only then, it finally occurs to Tommy: no one is coming to find Evan. No one is here with Evan. Three blocks away from the 118 station house, not three weeks after losing the only parent he’d ever actually known, Evan is standing alone in a grocery store. Shopping, presumably, for said station, but with nobody to stand at his side.

Tommy’s body is faster on the uptake than his mind. By the time he finishes processing the thought, he’s already standing two feet away from Evan—the closest they’ve been since sharing the cockpit of a rogue helicopter—with the plastic basket rescued in his hands.

“T-tommy,” Evan says, with wide watery blue eyes. The stutter’s back in full force, whether from surprise or grief or the sheer displeasure of Tommy’s presence. “H-hey. I, uh, I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

Which is fair. And there’s no explanation he can give that will not make him sound pathetic, or creepy, or both. His body is, perhaps predictably, less good at just talking to Evan; though, given the unfortunate things he’s said before, it’s probably better than his mouth doesn’t run away from him. Even if it does leave him with the rather pressing problem of thinking of something to say. “Are you…” he begins, and then swallows the end of that question. There is no world in which Evan is okay, right now, and asking feels stupid. He tries again. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” Evan says, too fast and rote.

Tommy doesn’t exactly mean to, but his eyebrows rise with skepticism. He understands shoving down your emotions and putting up a veneer of calm, he really does. But he watched Evan zone out in front of the Yukon Gold potatoes. The jig was up already, belying Evan’s words before he ever spoke them.

Evan colours and drops his gaze, but not in a good way. This isn’t shyness, or playing coy. This is shame, weighing down Evan’s head. Someone or something made fierce, fearless, beating-heart-on-his-sleeve Evan Buckley ashamed of his own grief.

Tommy wrestles down the swell of anger. Partly out of habit—he refuses to become anything like his father—but mostly because it isn’t going to help Evan, right now. Says instead, as gentle as he can, “Hey. I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I did mean the question, though.”

Evan doesn’t look up. “Yeah, b-but you don’t… you don’t need to hear about all that. I’m, um, I’m, you know, still here, so. H-how are you holding up?”

“Evan, I’m serious,” Tommy says, fighting against the rising certainty that something is deeply wrong. Even more wrong than he’d expected; and he’d expected pretty fucking bad, given the circumstances. “I asked. I’m inviting you to tell me.” A thought occurs to him, painful but true, and he takes a sharp, fortifying breath before adding, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to—God knows I probably wouldn’t want to talk to me, either. But don’t hold back for my sake. So. How are you holding up, really?”

Evan swallows. Swallows again. Chokes out, “N-not great.”

It’s like watching a puppet collapse, when the puppeteer dropts it at the end of a show. All the air rushes out of Evan at once, and he lists dangerously forward. It isn’t a choice or even a habit so much as a deep, animal instinct that has Tommy reaching out, catching Evan’s not-insignificant bulk against his own.

That’s alright. The firefighter muscles aren’t just for show. He built them to carry people out of burning buildings; he’s happy to use them now to carry Evan, both literally and figuratively, in the middle of a grocery store.

Evan clings to Tommy like a lifeline. Like he’s the one solid thing still standing in a building that’s crumbling to pieces around Evan. Like Tommy can be a steady thing, a sure thing, when everything else is falling apart.

Tommy holds Evan tight. Lets him bury his head against Tommy’s chest, and pretends not to notice the dampness spreading across his shirt. Evan’s babbling something about missing family dinners and making breakfast and Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Most of the words are too muffled and too broken up by shaking breaths on the edge of sobbing to be comprehensible.

That’s alright, too. There will be time, later, to let Evan say them properly, so he can listen to them properly. Tommy decides, right then and there, that he will make sure there’s time later.

He forgot, for a while, that it wasn’t only the ugly words sitting between them. No, that’s not quite true; he has plenty of sweeter, kinder words to hold on to. The most transformative of my life and they can be the same thing and even from way back at the beginning, that guy is so cool are still nestled in between Tommy’s ribs, tucked in there for safekeeping. A candleflame of memory to tide him over on the coldest, loneliest nights.

He just hadn’t thought the sentiment went both ways. He’d been so sure that all the stupid, terrible things he couldn’t take back had destroyed anything good he might have built. But maybe And for you sits there still, in the tiny glimmer of light in Evan’s eyes when he first saw Tommy. Not without feeding you is in the clutching grip of Evan’s hands against his body.

And somewhere behind them both, like a sturdy wall to lean against, is You want to try again?

It hadn’t been enough, then, to stop him from spewing out his worst, most unsiecure thoughts all over that sunlit room. It hadn’t been enough to soothe the hurt in Evan’s eyes, or to stay Tommy’s feet when the instinct to cut his losses and run kicked in.

It’s enough, now, to bolster his strength and keep him standing there, holding Evan. He’s going to make it enough to stay, and stay, and stay, until and unless Evan actually tells him to get lost. He’ll weld his fucking shoes to the ground if he has to, so he can’t run. So he doesn’t abandon Evan alone in a grocery store, like everyone else apparently did.

After all, as Evan once said: why be apart when we can be together? When Evan needs him, and maybe even wants him—and Tommy needs him and wants him, too. Maybe that can be enough.

[passionwillow]

POV: You’re best friends with the 118.

[alkaysani]

i think buck has always waved at the phone every time maddie called

it started when they were playing telephone when evan was only one and maddie had the fake phone on her ear and she goes "say hi evan!"

and baby evan's just waving happily but not talking on the phone squished against his chubby cheek

when chimney first noticed it, he teased buck and buck didn't know what he meant, just tilting his head and going "i was just saying hi!" even though he didn't say anything so maddie couldn't hear him

and when chimney brings it up to maddie, maddie gets this incredibly soft look on her face and she just goes "oh, he was just saying hi"

and chimney just now considers it as one of those quick buckley sibling quirks that he's grown to love