#AI is not an actual intelligence but I started to feel sorry for the poor thing in spite of myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fukurodaze · 4 years

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haikyuu!! third gym squad taking the ib diploma programme

ok... my friend and i got rlly stressed the other day and made headcanons for these guys if they were to take classes in the ib... it’s like a levels but like... a bit more death!

for my ib diploma folks you can just hop on over and read what i’ve hc’d but for my non-ib folks, lemme give you a bit of an introduction to the ib diploma programme.

characters included: bokuto koutarou, kuroo tetsurou, akaashi keiji, tsukishima kei, haiba lev, hinata shouyou

THE IB DIPLOMA PROGRAMME is a rigorous two-year pre-college program in your last two years of high school. a full programme consists of one class from each of the six required groups (totalling to 6 classes), which are G1 - first language; G2 - second language; G3 - social sciences; G4 - natural sciences; G5 - mathematics; and G6 - arts (though, arts is optional, and can be switched out with another subject from G3 or G4).

within these six courses, students are required to take at least three high-level (HL) courses and three standard level courses (SL), but some students may take four HL courses and have two SL courses (kind of a rough one tho).

just to note: there’s two types of math courses - applications and interpretations (Math AI) and analysis and approaches (Math AA). MAA courses are known to be harder than MAI courses because students do more theory work and have non-calculator sections in exams, unlike MAI courses where calculators are required for every exam. also, it is possible for a person to take IB courses instead of the full diploma programme, but i’m not very well acquainted with that variation of the IB programme so we’re just going to assume all the boys got 6 courses.

okay. i am so sorry i just lectured you on a whole school curriculum. anyways. back to haikyuu!!

BOKUTO KOUTAROU : Japanese Language and Literature HL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Geography HL, SEHS (Sports, Exercise, and Health Science) HL, Math AI SL, Economics SL

ok so it’s canon that this dude is not doing very well in math but his parents made him do higher level math at first poor boy >:(

he started the year off in higher level and thought he was gonna be fine

no. he was not fine.

so he ended up switching his math hl to sl and his japanese sl to hl

IT IS CANON (special chapter in volume 19 titled “i just forgot” where bokuto has a wholeass crisis about words) that bokuto’s really one to actually really like to think about how words work and function as systems in the same way ib language courses do!!

actually having him do japanese ll hl is just an excuse for me to keep him in math sl sorry

i mean koutarou may be my fav tax evader but he really did sit through two years worth of econ classes... smh

mans is Not listening and has to rely on yukie for notes but he just memorises case studies for exams and does not do anything else

i feel like he just takes mandarin because he thought it was the easiest one... he also thinks the words sound similar so it’s easy to memorise

he’s a pretty good communicator so he practices his mandarin quite a lot. as in, he’s made friends to talk to in mandarin. we love to see it!!!

also. um. i hc that he’s pretty decent at memorisation so geography!! this goes for memorising all the kanji and mandarin characters too

i think SEHS is pretty self-explanatory. mans already known he wanna be a pro athlete might as learn about being healthy as an athlete

KUROO TESTUROU : Japanese Language and Literature SL, English B SL, Business Management HL, Chemistry HL, Math AI HL, Biology HL

now... we all know this mf been taking chemistry hl. it is CANON

and as per his career path... DEFINITELY business management hl

i feel like he’s so analytical in the way he sees things that he likes to explore many areas of knowledge where there are different ways of thinking

takes english as a second language because... whew.. aint it sexy when mans wanna be multifaceted in business

also takes higher level biology because he’d rather not with the languages... but later on i believe he ends up in a higher level language class because he might as well

i feel like kuroo’s classes just give me a vibe i know too too well...

mans takes math ai. he does not wanna fuck around with a pencil proving a theorem he just wants the answer bro

like in volleyball, he’s a quick thinker. so he’s pretty g with math and business stuff

i literally know someone with this class combo ... it’s not very chill but it screams “you never see me do any course work but i always get at least a B+ in every subject”

AKAASHI KEIJI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AA SL, Visual Arts HL

now... this subject combo radiates such pretty energy

pretty subjects for a pretty boy

he was originally going to do biology sl but then found out there is chemistry in biology so he just decided with chemistry. plain and simple.

we all know akaashi is both emotionally and academically intelligent

he’s logical and analytical, and when faced with a tough time he works through it well albeit going through a little bit of struggle

this automatically puts him in math aa... i just see him actually liking proving theorems???

but maybe he just thinks his calculator is a nuisance sometimes and would rather solve everything by hand

also art boy! this dude likes graphic design more but when it comes to traditional art he does Not Hold Back

i like to think that he’s into painting backgrounds and mixed media

if he didn’t take VA, i’m pretty sure he would take economics. because. it’s quite systematic and i think akaashi would take a liking to it

as for japanese ll hl... we all know this dude was supposed to be a part of the literary section in a magazine/manga company but was moved to editor

goes hand-in-hand with psychology, likes to know how words convey meaning and how they affect people

he also thinks french is kind of a cool language. i feel like this guy just wants to do it because it sounds cool and novel for him

all in all, pretty solid subject combo!

TSUKISHIMA KEI : Japanese Language and Literature HL, French Ab Initio SL, History HL, Biology SL, Math AA HL, Instrumental Music HL

4 hl’s... here we are folks

honestly does it for colleges to go like “holy shit this dude is kinda crazy”

but does suffer... coursework tings :)

first of all this dude takes french (even though it’s a beginner’s class) because he just loves to sound cool huh

the summer before his courses started he would have had the basics down after looking through free ib textbooks

plus, being the guy that’s super good at a new language in the class is a huge ass flex and a big ass ego boost. and anyways, with language, he thinks it’s just a lot of simple patterns working together.

this also applies to japanese ll hl... finds writing essays and making arguments ez (at least that’s what he tells himself - he’s kinda nervous when it comes to japanese but he holds on anyway)

practices extra hard on pronunciation. sounds hot tho

math aa hl??? there we go. another crazy one. thought he could ace the class at first.... no. no he couldn’t

thinks about moving down to sl. probably does. (at least it’s not math ai)

history and biology go hand in hand for him. he has significant interests in prehistoric times, and likes to learn about the origins of life - that’s a given

but he does get tired of the politics talk in history like... goddamn all these people making so many mistakes? just stop making them smh

and instrumental music was just something he got onto because he really would like to just have a course where he could enjoy himself while also learning about the stuff he likes

nobody knows what music he listens to... but i think he’s willing to listen to anything as long as it’s music and it has the kinds of vibes he digs

HAIBA LEV: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Mandarin Ab Initio SL, Psychology HL, Chemistry SL, Math AI HL, Theatre HL

i don’t know how to explain it but lev has such strong psych and chem energy

yes haiba lev’s classes are the ones i picked via roulette wheel

jk not really

here’s the thing though, lev takes psychology because he thinks econ, business management, history, ess, all that jazz is just... absolutely boring. like. super. mf-ing. boring.

so he’s like ooh cognitive processes!

kinda hates that he has to study research methods and research methods ONLY at first but when he gets the hang of it he really finds it one of his fav subs

i actually have no explanation for mandarin ab initio sl... he just seemed like the kind of guy who would wanna do the class solely because he thinks mandarin sounds cool with their intonations and everything

plus he heard that the teacher gives mooncakes every lunar new year ad he. loves. them.

okay now hear me out.

lev is good at math.

maybe not lightning speed analysis or calculations like akaashi, but he finds solving problems fun! except for when they’re without a calculator bc he HATES doing calculations by hand

he can get a bit clumsy with his hand calculations too so it’s nice to just have a calculator on hand

literally only does math ai for the sake of using a calculator at all times (a/n: i take this class, and this was the reason i took it too. COMPLETELY VALID)

and then does theatre for the fun of it!!! confidence levels high for presentations and performances... good fit

kinda thought that ib theatre would be his easy A but oh how he was wrong... hates the research tasks at first but he gets used to it

HINATA SHOUYOU: Japanese Language and Literature SL, Portuguese Ab Initio SL, SEHS HL, Geography HL, Math AI SL, Theatre HL

his classes are bokuto energy but with theatre and portuguese

MANGA SPOILERS! we all know he started thinking abt going to brazil in his second year of high school, and the ib diploma programme starts in the last two years of high school so it fits PERFECTLY

lowkey most of the boys take japanese ll sl because they just. have to.

this is also hinata’s case <3

SEHS HL!!! he has a vision for the future and it definitely involves him understanding health and sports and everything like that, especially after nationals in his first year :(((( still sad abt that

but he’s motivated for this higher level class because he’s really just gonna go all out with the research

math ai sl because... he prolly don’t give a fuck about numbers!!! (it hasn’t been made clear already, but math ai sl is the lowest level math course)

he also took theatre hl because even though he does get scared at first, he’s a natural when it comes to learning new cultures

he’s just so curious about it all and it makes him quite engaged in the class as well!!!!

also kinda took theatre because the other subjects were just not it for him

about geography... he hates memorisation but he also hates everything else in the social studies group so

he just gets by by trying to find the little details of the things he’s studying interesting because really... geography class is just the base of all the places on his bucket list

hinata’s def one of those dudes who picks his subs purely off of liking because we all know he’s going. any subject that isn’t based off of liking is usually a mandatory subject anyways

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atamascolily · 5 years

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lily liveblogs watching “The Terminator” for the first time

I cannot believe no one ever told me the first ten minutes of The Terminator are filled with naked men roaming 1980s Los Angeles. In addition to full-front Arnold Schwarzenegger nudity, there's a chase scene in which Kyle Reese's actor (no slouch himself in the muscles department) runs through a clothing store, dressing himself as he goes. The narrative economy of this movie, I tell you.

Whoever decided that time travel does not involve clothing was clearly having a lot of fun.

Also, I have no idea why the punks decided to make fun of a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger except they were probably drunk/stoned/high and fond of making poor life choices. Either that or they really were Too Stupid To Live.

Is the close up on Kyle Reese's stolen Nikes supposed to be product placement? I think it's product placement. This is the '80s after all.

OMG, a phone booth. This film was not supposed to be a period piece (or was it??), but it's unintentionally hilarious as such. Kyle Reese doesn't seem to know how to reach Sarah Connor otherwise... so the phone book gets to stand in for the Internet.

(god, if you're from his version of 2029, the fact that machines DON'T control everything seems both a) quaint and b) infinitely desirable by comparison.)

What's interesting is both the film's present and the film's future are dystopic hellholes. Yes, it's the middle of the night in Los Angeles, but the way it's filmed, with all the urban debris and trash and homeless wandering the streets very much parallels the future. The garbage truck in the present and the human-killing laser machine in the future are foils to each other.

EVERYONE'S HAIR, OH MY GOD.

It's kinda sad that food service is still visual shorthand for "sucky job" even in the present day, but you can tell Sarah Connor has spunk because she rides a moped and sasses her chain's mascot. Their outfits are terrible. And that kid putting ice cream on her--to the amusement of the assholes she's serving--what a nightmare.

Also, Sarah's friend is awesome and won my heart with one line: "In a hundred years, who's gonna care?" This takes on vast levels of irony given that Sarah Connor is the Chosen One--er, sorry, Chosen One's Mom. I really hope this friend doesn't die.

Child's toy truck getting run over by the Terminator's stolen car. NOT SUBTLE, Y'ALL.

Sarah's friend's first reaction to the news of another Sarah Connor being murdered is to track Sarah into the break room to watch. Efficient way of letting Sarah know something's up and another good character moment.

The contrast between the Terminator effortlessly starting the car and Kyle Reese's labored hotwiring is nicely done. The PTSD flashback as he watches the bulldozer thing is also very efficient way of conveying information without the need for infodumping dialogue. Of course he has a female friend who dies for added trauma. Sigh.

Oh, so she and the friend--whose name is Ginger--are roommates? Well, that explains a lot. Oh, nope, I’m wrong, different person.

SARAH CONNOR HAS A PET IGUANA, I'M CHARMED. She looks so sad holding her pet iguana while her date's voice mail message plays - no going out after she got all dressed up. But at least she has the Iguana of Consolation!

(his name is Pugsley omg omg omg asghkkfl)

Why the hell does Ginger's bf kiss Sarah on the cheek as she leaves? Are they that close to each other or is this a weird quasi-sexual harassment thing (like how he was only kinda embarrassed when she picked up the phone by mistake while he was doing his phone sex thing thinking she was Ginger?)

CREEPY PARKING GARAGE IS CREEPY.

The police are all, "shit, this is awful," and trying to do something, but it isn't going to go well. Also, you can tell it's the '80s because the police lieutenant just casually lights up indoors like it's no big deal.

Like, literally the plot of this movie depends upon a) Sarah Connor's name and address in the phonebook, and b) no cell phones. The fact that these two are intimately connected IRL amuses me greatly.

God, as soon as Ginger and her bf revealed they were staying home, I knew they were toast. The fact that they're shown having sex just makes it all the more inevitable.

I like that the police decide to get a jump on the press AND maybe alert the other Sarah Connors they haven't been able to reach by announcing it over the TV. Sarah's at a restaurant eating pizza so she actually sees it!

The only reason Sarah Connor survives is because the Terminator went very literally through the list and Kyle Reese went straight to the right person. The difference between human intelligence and AI?

I cannot BELIEVE the club doesn't check ID, but maybe it's an illegal club anyway? Nice relevant background techno.

Of course the police's gambit backfires because Sarah can't reach them when she tries to call...

OH MY GOD PUGSLEY THE IGUANA IS SO PRECIOUS (but seriously does not stay in his cage, lol). Please don't let the iguana die...

The dangers of earphones and not being able to hear your surroundings being illustrated literally as soon as the devices were invented.

OF COURSE SARAH IS GOING TO LEAVE HER VOICE MAIL MESSAGE WARNING GINGER OF DANGER AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT. And she's going to tell him her location, too. This is... god, I don't have words for this.

Sarah left her driver's license in her apartment, what? Or is that an old ID? I can't tell. Welp, now he knows what she looks like, which he clearly didn't before.

This scene where the Terminator shoots up the club with an automatic REALLY hasn't aged well. I feel sick to my stomach just watching it. Of course Sarah is the second-to-last one out and has a human shield, because of course she dies. Sigh.

"Come with me if you want to live." I think that's the first words Kyle Reese has spoken in this movie! Not that the Terminator has said much, either...

Of course the police show up at exactly the wrong moment and draw exactly the wrong conclusions. Of course they end up dead, too. Sigh.

I would say Kyle's driving is atrocious, but there's no actual roads in 2029 LA, so this is much better conditions than he's used to.

Gosh, what would this movie do without alleyways?

Sarah's like "Can you stop it?" and Kyle looks away sheepishly, all WELL I WOULD IF I HAD MY LASER WEAPONS FROM THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF YOUR PUNY '80S GUNS.

Oh, he says he's going to ditch the car, but instead Kyle finally explains things to Sarah, and we're in yet another parking garage. Parking garages and alleys, that's this movie. Oh, and hotwiring cars.

Kyle's monologue about the defense network computers setting off nuclear war is a very '80s manifestation of a very '80s fear. Several '80s fears, now that I think about it. (Wasn't this also the plot of War Games?) Not that it's not topical today, but I think it's expressed in different formats now.

I hate that Sarah is only special because she's the Source of the Savior instead of the actual savior herself. I hate this so much.

Kyle and the Terminator playing "who can shoot better while also driving" in a parking garage that seems to go on literally FOREVER, how is this possible. This is WHY shotgun is a thing.

Oh, good, he's finally letting Sarah drive while he shoots.

Ohhhh, now she's in police custody, and the Lieutenant is comforting her. I hope he doesn't die, but I know better than to hope that anyone other than the Final Girl survives this movie.

The "flex your artificial hand with a hole in it" scene is a bloody counterpart to Luke testing out his new prosthesis in ESB.

It says something about humans that the only way the machines could hunt them was to make them human-coated (human on the outside).

You can tell by the look on Kyle Reese's face when he says "Nobody goes home," that he knows he's on a suicide mission.

Why the hell doesn't John Connor go himself? Why was Kyle chosen? Because he had to lead humanity in the aftermath of Skynet's defeat or because it would make the upcoming plot twist that much more awkward? Probably both, but I wonder if they ever discussed this. "Uh... hi, dad? Dad-to-be?" (Reminder that Douglas Adams is right when he says the worst part of time travel is the grammar.)

Oh, god, the "eye repair" scene is nightmarish. Excellent job foreshadowing it, filmmakers. But still gross. So this is why he gets sunglasses.

(Does he have heat vision? Why do none of the future machines seem to have infrared sight? Wouldn't that be super-useful if you're human-hunting?)

Kyle Reese's "I DIDN'T BUILD THE FUCKING THING!" line is such a relatable mood. We the audience already knew that Time Travel = Mandatory Nudity, but I think it's a nice touch that Skynet assumed the Terminator could just work with whatever was available instead of needing to bring weapons. He’s weapon enough.

Also, this implies the Terminator is just human ENOUGH to pass through the field, which might have been a reason they started working with human-augmented machines in the first place. The reasoning seems to be--no, really--if you put enough living human tissue over a machine, it's "alive" enough for time travel. I don't understand how this works, exactly, but fine.

Oh, good, the cops are giving her body armor now. That can only help. Oh, no, it's a fake-out to explain how the Terminator survived being shot.

I don't understand how this movie is not a walking billboard for gun control, I really don't.

Kyle Reese being all "things are going to shit and I'm going to seize the moment". I think the policeman he slugged might actually survive if he was knocked unconscious and otherwise stayed out of trouble? Don't think the Terminator's going to bother when he's got his real prey to deal with...

And the lietunant who was nice to Sarah is dead. I knew that was going to happen. Great, now the other detective is, too. Sigh. NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE GETS TO LIVE EXCEPT SARAH... and maybe Pugsley the iguana? I don't think he's dead...

Oooh, oooh, another visual theme of this movie is broken glass and smashing windows to unlock things. DON'T FORGET THE BODY ARMOR ON YOUR WAY OUT. (If that's not Chekhov's body armor, I'm going to be very surprised.)

God, it's so weird to contrast the different fates of the Terminator franchise and the Star Wars films, especially given their similarities.

Oooh, oooh! Huddle together for warmth under a bridge! Fall in love!

Skynet has no freakin' subtlety. You can tell they're not human because they automatically decide the best way to keep Sarah Connor from having kids is to kill her, not to have her doctor give her a fake diagnosis so they can perform a hysterectomy or some other scheme. Or even just giving her birth control.

OR HOW ABOUT EVEN CREATING A SPECIAL MODEL TERMINATOR SHE COULD DATE WHO WAS STERILE AND THEREFORE SHE'D NEVER GET PREGNANT. And then Kyle Reese would be the obnoxious dude trying to break them up for the good of humanity and constantly trying to prove to Sarah her hot boyfriend is actually a robot, and Sarah just thinks he's delusional/trying to get in her pants.

(Oh, my god, I want this fic now.)

Oh, she just discovered Kyle's hurt now, ordering him to take off his clothes, there's only one way this can possibly end.

Nice contrast between the Terminator calmly repairing his bloodied self and Sarah feeling nauseous and having Kyle talk to her while she fixes him.

Oh, god, the way Kyle Reese describes John Connor makes me wonder if Kyle had a crush on HIM or if he knew he was John's father from the get-go. FICS FICS FICS, WHERE ARE THE FICS.

Oh, okay, so Reese volunteered because he wanted to meet "the legend--Sarah Connor". Please tell me she's a legend because she's a badass, not JUST because her son is important. Please. Or at least allow me to keep my illusions, okay?

The way Reese looks at her is distinctly hero-worshipping, which is kinda funny given their roles to date. Also, Sarah is pre-badass at this point -- she will become one as a result of the events of this film.

Sarah also has a problem with time travel tenses, I sympathize.

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face except to say the future is not set.... You must survive or else the future will never exist."

LOL, John telling his mom she better level up or everyone is doomed... so why isn't SHE the savior again??

And--open question--what happened to HER by 2029? Why is it John and not Sarah who's in charge?

Ok, so the HKs DO have infrared, but what keeps them and the Terminator from finding people on various occasions? (Yes, plot, I know.)

"Tell me a bedtime story about your dystopic past-that-is-my-future and give me all kinds of Nightmare Fuel..." (That could have gone better.)

Where do Future Humans get their Future Guns and Gear?? Do they steal them from machines? How does that even WORK? Wouldn't it be easier for the machines to just, I don't know, get creative and kill them some other way?

Keeping with the machine-man parallels, Reese has his own "code numbers" rather like a serial number that he uses to ID himself.

DOGGIES! THERE ARE STILL DOGS IN THE FUTURE, yay!

Yup, the humans in 2029 live in squalor just like the homeless people in the film's present - which might explain why Kyle Reese is remarkably at home, with way less culture shock than you'd expect.

Too bad he and Sarah are on the run and can't go to a fast food restaurant or something fun he's never had before.

The future kids are watching a fire burn in the shell of a TV, OH MY GOD.

Like, it's kinda good the future isn't set because if this what humanity's come to, it might be better to send someone back in time and hope it goes differently? Of course, things can always get worse. Not that they had a choice - I think discovering the machines' plan forced their hand.

Kyle Reese has a photo - is that Sarah Connor? Or is that the woman who got killed earlier in the film? I can't tell.

Dogs barking at the fake people just like the dog barked at the Terminator in the '80s. Nice. Interesting they don't try to shoot the dogs.

Ahh,the photo is burning, the symbolism.... especially when Terminator's flesh melting is going to be a Thing coming up. Cut to: Sarah's sleeping face. Foreshadowing much? (Also: WORST BEDTIME STORY EVER.)

Okay, the way he brushes her face is kinda creepy and hasn't aged well. I hope Sarah has dogs in subsequent movies? I would if I were her.

OH MY GOD, the Terminator has suggested prompts for conversations and chooses "Fuck you, asshole". DYING.

Oh, he's got her address book... and her mom's address. That's how he finds her. Otherwise, there's no way this movie will end in thirty minutes.

Kyle stopping to pet the dog while Sarah gets them a hotel room is such a beautiful background moment.

Sad that even the shittiest '80s motel room is nicer than anything Kyle has ever seen.

AHHH, SHE CALLS HER MOM, this is the smart and appropriate thing to do, but there's no way this can end well for her mom.

I thought the scene was going to cut to her mom on the phone with a gun at her back (before the Terminator kills her), but she's talking to the Terminator mimicking her mother's voice and I... don't know what just happened, but pretty sure it isn't good for Sarah Connor's mom's survival. (Why they didn't go back in time and try to kill HER before she had Sarah... seems like there are so many ways to do this.)

LOL, you think Reese is going to be into food and instead he's into manufacturing explosives in the kitchen. Nice. What follows is Baby's First Improvised Weaponry Lesson.

"He'll find us, won't he?" "Probably." WELL MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN SOMEONE YOUR ADDRESS AFTER HE TOLD YOU NOT TO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN "LATER" RATHER THAN "SOONER", ughhhhhh.

Kyle's reaction when Sarah asks him about his previous lovers is HILARIOUS if you assume he's actually in love with John Connor. But this does answer the question of who the woman in the photo was: it was Sarah, he's been in love with Sarah the whole time (and now kinda embarassed/thrilled at the prospect of sleeping with his hero?)

I can't tell if Sarah genuinely thinks he's hot or if she just feels sorry that he's a virgin. I guess it doesn't really matter since they've been through hell together and sex is a valid way of coping. Also, while Kyle isn't as muscular as the Terminator, he's no slouch in the shirtless department--and he's not wearing a shirt in this scene.

Kyle's admission that he "disconnects" to avoid feeling pain just heightens the machine-man continuum even further...

Oh, my god, John totally knows that Kyle's going to be his dad, and that's why he gives them the picture of Sarah. SO AWKWARD TO BE SET UP BY YOUR SON.

This is the '80s so they can't just have casual sex, he has to be in love with her, and have ALWAYS been in love with her, because this is ROMANCE, and she's the heroine (otherwise it would be morally wrong??). I get it, although this trope hasn't aged well and seems vaguely stalker-ish, even though relatively little stalking was involved.

So he loves her, but Sarah never says she loves him... but she's stressed out and exhausted and she feels sorry for him and he's hot, wtf not?

Hey, he lets her top! That was unexpected and also kinda sweet.

What was the point of Sarah telling her mother if her mother never called back and if they were only going to be there for a day? Shouldn't she be suspicious that her mom never called back? IDIOT BALL.

Kyle hears the dog barking and knows what's up right away. You can see the "oh shit" look on his face.

YET ANOTHER CAR CHASE... except now they're in a truck and the Terminator's on a motorcycle. Oh, goody. And he makes her drive once she pulls out the explosives. Oh, good, an underground tunnel!

I don't understand why the Terminator doesn't shoot out the wheels on the truck. He keeps aiming for Sarah, and I know that's his mission, but... seems like it might be easier to disable the truck first? IDK.

Of course leaning out the window makes it easier for the Terminator to shoot Kyle... now that he's delivered his Sperm Packet from the Future, his role is done and he's toast.

That's also the first moment that Sarah really takes agency by swerving and crashing the car. I think up until this point, she's just kinda gone along with everything...? NOT A COINCIDENCE.

Oh, great, now he has a tractor-trailer. Full of gas. And you have explosions. This will end well.

Wow, the Terminator didn't kill the passenger in the truck after all. Why waste energy, I guess?

I don't understand why he goes for the tractor-trailer instead of.. I don't know, just walking over and strangling Sarah? He's a lot stronger than she is and she's trapped in a wreck. I don't understand it. That seems WAY like overkill. And also gives her time to get her bearings and escape with Kyle.

Kyle jumping into the dumpster is oddly appropriate, given how often dumpsters and trash appear in this movie.

Sarah breathes a sigh of relief WAYYY too soon after the truck goes up in flames.

WHYYYY is she going so close to the flames, that's so dumb, it must be so hot and toxic fumes, whyyyyy? (So they can be RIGHT THERE when the Terminator wakes up, that's why!)

This time Sarah's the one to break a window and unlock a door. Agency! Character development! Whatever you want to call it.

Can you really turn an automated factory on that easily? Shouldn't there be... passwords, or something? But I like that Kyle does it "so he can't track us" - so the EMFs interfere with the Terminator's abilities??

And of course, there's the irony that the smart machine from the future is destroyed by by the dumb machines of the past. Humanity's enemy is also its savior. (Can you imagine what would havehappened if the Terminator had been able to talk to them and convince them to kill the humans / figure out where they were?)

Hey, the Terminator busts down the door in its Final Form and does the EXACT SAME DOOR OPENING TRICK IT'S ALWAYS DONE.

Sarah pulls a chunk of shrapnel OUT OF HER OWN LEG. She gets to scream while she does it because she's female, but it's the foil to the other "repair/healing" we've seen - and a sign of her own transition/evolution.

Kyle's face wound mirrors that of the Terminator, AHHH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

And of course the Terminator still isn't dead even after it's lost half its body and is just this metallic torso dragging itself across the ground with its arms. Because we're still not done yet. Both Sarah and the Terminator have leg wounds, so they're both crawling, I like it. EVEN MORE PARALLELS.

Oh, god, it's on a conveyor belt now. NIGHTMARE FUEL. And then some sort of ventilation shaft? Oh, god.

And she's able to press the button as it's strangling her and issue a snappy one-liner LIKE THE ACTION HERO SHE IS! And watch its red eye stare balefully at her the entire time.

Oh, and THEN the police show up and she's put on a stretcher and bundled away. Could be worse, Kyle's on a stretcher zipped up into a body bag.

CUT TO: Sarah driving a truck in the desert. A pregnant Sarah is narrating into a microphone a message/memoir for her unborn son. There's a German shepherd in the backseat. Sarah's wearing the same headband we've seen before in Kyle's photo of her. She's got a pistol in her lap that she handles coolly and calmly.

She's in Mexico, at a gas station full of chickens. She tells John she's worried about paradox, but he has to send Kyle. So John DOES know, and gave Kyle the photograph so he'd be primed to fall in love with Sarah, thus guaranteeing his existence. The German shepherd is a Very Good Dog.

Sarah's very blunt about the fact that she and Kyle only had a few hours together, but says "we loved a lifetime's worth" and I'm not sure that checks out, but okay. Maybe on Kyle's end? I feel like Sarah barely had time for any of this, and maybe some of it is retroactive, but... anyway, maybe it's a story she tells herself so she can live with it, especially since she may not be interested, open to, or willing to risk any more relationships in the future, given that she's a perpetual target.

While she's talking about Kyle, her face twists up and a kid snaps a photo with his Kodak camera, and claims if she doesn't pay for it, his father will beat him. She knows it's a scam but takes it anyway, talking him down to four dollars instead of five.

The kid takes the money and runs away, crying about a storm coming. Sarah sighs. "I know," she says, and puts on dark sunglasses as tumbleweeds roll and she drives away, waiting for the apocalypse, towards some mountains that look awfully early-CGIish.

Credits roll. Acknowledgment to the works of Harlan Ellison - that's cool.

Wow, okay. Well that was a ride.

Reading the Wiki: I like how James Cameron decided to cast Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese because he was famous at the time, even though he's nowhere near a household name compared to the film's other stars. O.J. Simpson was floated as a possible Terminator, irony. Harlan Ellison credit was added after he threatened to sue for infringment--oh.

Also, (male) critics talk about how the Terminator represents masculinity, and the ideal man is both machine and human? I guess I don't really see the Terminator as ideal masculinity, but that's a rant for another day...

Also: wtf happened to the iguana??

#Movie Reviews #fic ideas #terminator

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conquerorofshamballa2-blog · 6 years

Text

This could not be more last minute lol

Sorry @tsumi-alchemist but you got stuck with the worst procrastinator on the planet for your @fmasecretsanta2018. Here’s some royed domestic college AU fluff and smut for ya, hope you enjoy :)

Roy tapped his foot against the linoleum floors of their kitchen as he thought to himself, mulling Ed's question to him over in his head. But it was hard to think when he’s getting glared at impatiently, no matter much he loves those fiery eyes.

"Yes or no question, Roy."

"Don't play that card with me. You know it's more complicated than that." Nothing is ever complicated to Ed. Roy wishes he could live with that kind of clarity, knowing so strongly with all his being right from wrong, seeing the world in stark, contrasting colors. At least he’s had the comfort of getting to see the world in golden brilliance ever since Ed came into his life.

Ed huffs in annoyance, which is his typical response when Roy dares to make words with his mouth, as if he could ever be correct. Or at least, as correct as Ed is. "Fine. Okay... what if it's guaranteed that neither of us will get hurt?"

Well, that does make things simpler. Roy crosses his arms and leans back against the counter, hand coming up to stroke his chin as he watches Ed raid their pantry. He'll never understand how he can come home from movies hungry, after hoovering up both his own and half of Roy's popcorn like his body was fueled solely by salt and butter and he was close to dying.

"Hm... that does make it more tempting, but... no. No, I wouldn't let a symbiote enter our relationship."

Ed scoffs at him. "Coward."

"Selfish." Roy corrects him with an amused smile. "I simply don't want to share you."

Ed finally finds something that pleases him, kicking the cupboard door shut behind him as he unwraps the tinfoil prize in his hand, chomping into the poptart with gusto. And Lord, Roy loves him. How can he make the most barbaric behaviors come off as irresistibly charming?

“No wonder you changed your career choice.” He says with a mouthful of the cardboard snack, spraying crumbs as he talks. “You’d make a lousy scientist.”

“And what makes you say that?” Roy asks, though he doesn’t question Ed’s judgement on the matter. He’s barely an adult and already halfway through his PhD program, plowing through courses at a rate that makes even the coldest, most sardonic professors at their university worry about his health. His mind is as brilliant as the golden hair that halos him, and Roy marvels at being allowed to take up space in that ever whirring mind.

Meanwhile, Roy was at a loss with what to do with his BS in chemistry when he first graduated, not knowing how to structure his life outside of school. After a particularly miserable stint in the military, he returned with new purpose, finding a home in politics. He was a little behind, however, having to start over and now still working towards his MS in polisci at the tail end of his 20s.

He wouldn’t change any of it, though. Not at the risk of never meeting the incredible man standing barefoot with a mouth full of sugary sand in his kitchen. That’s the one good thing that came out of his now useless chemistry degree; the ability to sign up as a TA for the class he met Edward in. He’ll never forget that first meeting, a furious angel with looks that could kill storming into his borrowed office, failed assignment in hand and mouth already running. Roy could barely keep up with the colorful, creative insults (mostly aimed at his intelligence) hurled his way, partly because he was too taken aback by suddenly being face to face with the most beautiful human being he had ever seen in his life.

After finally calming him down and getting to take another look at his assignment, Roy was able to confirm that yes, Ed did get everything correct, and my apologies, I must have mixed your grade up with another student’s, and also, would you like to get coffee sometime?

The ridiculous, gawking look Ed had given him was almost worth the sting of rejection he felt when he stomped out of his office, slamming the door hard enough to knock off some professor’s doctoral degree that had been hanging on the wall, glass front shattering.

It wasn’t an entirely surprising reaction, considering what he had quickly learned about the young man’s temper within that brief meeting. What was surprising was when a familiar, golden wreathed angel stomped right back up to him in class the next day, shoving a scrap of paper with a cell number hastily scribbled on it into Roy’s hands before stomp stomp stomping away again without a single word.

It was a rare occurrence for Roy, getting surprised. He knew instantly this could be something special, something real.

“What makes me say that,” Ed starts, pulling Roy out of his nostalgic reverie, “is that any scientist worth their salt would not hesitate to fuck Venom. Or fuck their boyfriend while being bonded to Venom.”

Yes. This has absolutely become something very, very special.

“Well, I’m happy to know where your mind was at while we were watching that movie.” Roy says dryly, frowning at the crumbs that were now dusting his previously clean floor.

“My mind was at science. Shut up, everything I say makes perfect sense.” He commands before Roy gets the chance to tease him for his wording. “I mean, how can you not wonder at the logistics of it?”

“I also wonder at the logistics of cloning and creating advanced AIs that could one day destroy us all, but that doesn’t mean I’m actually going to do it.”

“Because you’re a coward.” Ed reiderates, putting the half eaten poptart, unwrapped, back in the cupboard, because he’s a savage.

“I already feel sorry for the poor ethics committee members who are going to have the misfortune of dealing with your bullheadedness once you start leading your own research projects.”

“Good, somebody has to. Cause I sure as hell won’t.”

“I’m aware.” Roy says with a sigh, making a mental note to sweep his kitchen later. “Are you aware that when we get mice, you’re the one who’s going to have to get rid of them?”

“I’m aware that I’ve been living here for a year and I haven’t seen a single mouse yet. Clearly I’m not as much as a slob as you think.” He retorts, leaving the kitchen behind so he can flop down on the couch in the living room.

Roy’s train of thought is completely thrown off by that statement, and he joins him silently without anymore witty remarks. “... Has it really been a year?”

“Almost. In about a month.” He sighs and closes his eyes, stretched out on the couch like a lazy cat soaking up sunlight. Roy sits on the opposite end, muscle memory commanding him to pick up Ed’s flesh foot and start rubbing, thumbs digging into his pressure points.

“That means it’s your birthday soon. I’ll finally be able to take you out for a drink.” He muses, already trying to figure out which bar Ed would like best.

“Who says I wanna go drinking with you, old man? 21’s a big milestone, I’m supposed to party all night. You like to be in bed by nine.” He mocks him, face scrunching up before the initial pain turns into pleasure, expression melting into a more relaxed state.

“You wound me, Edward. Also, I know for a fact that you’d rather help Professor Izumi grade undergrad papers than stay at a bar all night long.”

“And that’s sayin’ something.” Ed mumbles miserably, lifting up his arms so he can interlock his hands behind his head. “Win and Ling will still make me, though. Nothing says a good time like mandatory fun.” He pauses, then, before looking up at Roy with unsureness in his eyes. “I was joking, you know. You’ll come, right? It’s gonna be miserable anyway, but it will be beyond miserable without you there to distract me.”

Roy smiles at him reassuringly, thumbs pressing into the bridge of his feet as he runs them slowly up and down. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart.”

The dusting of pink that coats Ed’s cheeks is delightful, and Roy can’t help but stare at it. He shyly looks away, suddenly very interested in inspecting the couch cushions. Ed never did quite get the hang of pet names, which means Roy uses them as often as possible.

“Sweetie. Sugar. Honey. Pudding. Pumpkin.” Roy’s smirk gets more and more devious as the list goes one, voice dripping with increasing amounts of fake, syrupy sweetness with every word.

That smirk transforms into a wide, laughing grin when he has to raise his arms to block the decorative pillow being hurled at him. He throws it back, of course, though not quite as hard. This turns into Ed holding onto the pillow as he batters Roy with it, which turns into Roy absconding from the couch to get extra ammo from the armchair. That turns into Ed chasing him, which turns into Roy running for dear life, stumbling into their bedroom to grab the bigger, bulkier pillows.

Things only escalate from there, the two of them ducking up and down from hiding behind their sides of the bed, taking pillows to the face and arms and tossing them back across the mattress. Ed’s loud, bright laughter fills the room when Roy vaults up onto Ed’s side of the bed, reaching down to pull him up onto the bed with him. His laugh is highly infectious, Roy laughing along with him as the battle continues in close combat, both their sides and chests getting pummeled by the plump, soft weapons. It ends with Ed collapsing backwards, Roy following and leaning over him as they both keep laughing, faces red from the exertion, panting and breathing in each other’s air as they struggle to catch their breaths.

He’s an absolute vision. Roy could stare down at the beautiful form below him for one hundred years, and still not be able to fully drink in and appreciate every perfect detail of Edward Elric. His chest rises and falls with each labored breath, cheeks a bright red and forehead covered in a thin sheen of sweat, bangs beginning to stick to it. His one thousand watt smile lights up Roy’s life, sparkling eyes more beautiful than any star. A halo of mussed hair frames his chiseled face, ponytail loose from the pillow fight with a multitude of flyaway strands sticking every which way. One strand is caught on Ed’s deliciously plump bottom lip, and Roy brushes it away before reaching behind Ed’s head to pull his hair tie out, letting the silken strands splay out onto the sheets.

“You,” He starts, bringing a hand up to cup Ed’s cheek, “are the most stunning creature I have ever laid eyes on.”

Edward’s smile falls, replaced by a hungry expression as he stares up at Roy through hooded eyes. “Dork. Shut up and kiss me.” Roy couldn’t possibly say no to that.

He braces himself on his hands next to either side of Ed’s head, slotting their lips together easily and naturally. He watched Ed’s eyes flutter close before he lets his own eyes slip shut, letting his other senses take control of drinking in just how wonderful the man under him is.Their lips move together slow and sweet, the soft, wet noises between them lulling Roy into a state of absolute zen. He could stay this way forever if it were up to him, but kisses with Ed would never stay this gentle. It wasn’t long before he felt two strong, muscular arms wrapping around him, pulling him closer and a hungry, searching tongue probing his lips for an opening. Roy surrenders easily, lips parting so he can suck Ed’s tongue into his mouth.

And Ed always kisses like a dying man, hungry and passionate and dizzying in the best of ways, leaving Roy breathless. The slide of their tongues against one another sends a shiver through him, that shiver only intensifying when he feels one of Ed’s hands run up into his hair to grip it at the roots. He responds in kind with a none too gentle nip to Ed’s bottom lip, causing his breath to hitch and his grip on Roy to tighten.

Roy would let him hold on like that forever, if he wanted to.

Luckily for Roy, Ed was always quick to let him know exactly what it was he wanted. He accomplishes it this time by shoving his crotch bodily up against Roy’s, making his rapidly developing interest in the situation known. The boldness alone is enough to make Roy moan, nevermind the tempting hardness that just got jammed against his thigh. Ed could be shy to initiate, but once things got going, Ed certainly got going himself. And who was Roy to deny him?

With well coordinated deftness, he has Ed unbuttoned and unzipped, shoving his boxers aside until he’s got Ed in his hands. Roy was never one to find genitalia all that aesthetically pleasing, but he’d be hard pressed not to find anything about Ed a marvel to look at, and his cock was no exception. Hard and pink tipped, nestled atop a bed of golden curls, pulse thrumming strong and hot through the prominent vein visible underneath…

“Take a picture; it’ll last longer.” Ed chokes out underneath him, eyes dazed and face alight as he bucks impatiently into Roy’s hand. “C’mon, Roy…” He whines so sweetly, and Roy was going to ask if he actually could take a picture, but well, he’s feeling rather distracted from that train of thought all of a sudden.

Long, slender fingers wrap more firmly around the beautiful, dripping cock beneath him, kisses migrating from Ed’s mouth to his neck, only so that he doesn’t block the litany of unrestrained sounds of desire that spill forth from Ed’s kiss bruised lips. The squirming beneath him does nothing to quell Roy’s need, and he can’t help but laugh at the frustrated moan that breaks free from Ed when he stops paying attention to him long enough for Roy to free himself from the constraints of his clothes.

He kisses his apology into the crook of Ed’s neck before taking both of them in his hand, pumping them together and rolling his hips against Ed as his own series of moans left his mouth, muffled against Ed’s sweaty, sweet smelling skin. He wasn’t able to appreciate the smell of a sexed up Edward for long, though, as two rough hands grabbed his face to pull him up into a hungry kiss.

The gasp that draws out of him gets swallowed hungrily by the ravenous mouth set upon him, the pace of his hand and hips quickening as a new desperation sweeps over him. That desperation turns into heat that pools deep within him, and if the frantic jerking of Ed’s cock in his hands is anything to go by, then Ed’s finding himself in a similar state. There’s no coordination anymore, no forethought, just bodies and tongues and lips and cocks rubbing and rolling against each other, slicked by mingling sweat and saliva and pre. The heat and pressure builds up to a point where it’s just almost too much to bear, nerve endings warring over whether to flood Roy’s brain with signals of pleasure or pain.

There’s a brief moment of absolute quiet and stillness below him before hot, sticky slick spills into his hand, a moan like shattering stained glass cracking through the air around them as Ed breaks from their kiss, finding his release. And that’s what Roy needed to finally tip over the edge himself, hips and hand stuttering as his cum mixes with Ed’s, moan muffled once he buries his face in the crook of Ed’s neck.

They stay that way for a while, clinging to one another as they struggle to catch their breaths, riding out the waves of oxytocin. Ed’s the first one to complain of stickiness, as usual, and after quickly discarding their clothes and briefly wiping themselves off, they’re finally snuggled back into bed again. They’re both quiet for the most part, a rarity between the two of them, as they soak up just how perfect an ending that was to a perfect day. Roy’s the first one to break the silence, living up to Ed’s constant insults about his ‘big fucking mouth.’

“Hey.” He takes Ed’s face between both hands, taking a moment to stare at his blissed out, post coitus expression before he breaks into a soft smile. “I love you.”

Flashes of doubt and uncertainty shine through Ed’s eyes, as they usually do when Roy makes such bold declarations. He’s able to settle into a state of acceptance after a moment, though, and Roy dreams of the day he can make that doubt disappear entirely. “Love you, too. Cheesy bastard.” Is Ed’s mumbled response, and how did such a dirty mouthed little brat come to make Roy’s chest swell so?

His amazement is cut short when Ed’s face wrinkles up with a yawn, which is just about the cutest thing Roy’s ever seen. “So,” Ed starts speaking on the tail end of his yawn, “we both have tomorrow off. What do you want to do?” Roy can’t help taking this opportunity.

“The way I see it,” he says with a deep voice, a pathetic, humorous attempt at imitating Venom’s alien growl, “WE can do whatever WE want.”

The sting of the smack he receives to his bicep is absolutely worth the bell like laughter that rings from Ed’s chest, filling the room as it fills Roy’s heart. Roy smiles wide and bright as he realizes there’s not a thing in this world that wouldn’t be worth getting to hear his angel laugh.

#royed #fma #edward elric #roy mustang #myfic

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piyoduki · 6 years

Note

izu and hinat for the ask meme *^*

(/-((-\) ... (warning: it got really long... oops-)

Character ask meme:

KAMUKURA

Favourite Food Headcanon: Nothing excites him so maybe he’ll enjoy the sensation of burning his tongue once in a while. But I can see him trying to make the most weirdest combinations of foods to try and tingle his tastebuds or just to watch others make disgusted reactions at them.Favourite Ice Cream Flavour Headcanon: Like with food, he’ll try a weird ice cream flavour each time and it might cause a small reaction on the first bite, but he’ll quickly get used to it and become bored. Poor Kamu, unable to enjoy foods and ice cream :C. A ship I have with said character: I love love Kamuhi a lot!!! That is probably really obvious xD but I love how they contrast with each other, how Kamukura has all the talents Hinata wants but is unable to feel things that make life exciting or unpredictable. I like to think Kamukura predicted that hope would win when he put AI Upupu into the NWP, but was surprised when Hinata chose to ignore both hope and despair and come up with his own answer. The idea that Hinata is the only one who can make Kamu feel things makes me happy and since they’re stuck in the same body afterwards (?), I think they’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other more. In the end, Kamu has a lot of knowledge, but he might not have a lot of experience and even though he’ll probably get bored of them after a few seconds, I think Hinata would be able to share some ‘normal’ moments with him! Although I mostly ship them romantically as different people, I don’t mind if they’re the same person too-A BROTP I have with said character: My guilty pleasure BROTP is with Ishimaru, because I just like them both a lot and the fact that Ishimaru hates geniuses makes it ironic and amusing. Also they have similar hair and eye colours so I like imagining them as brothers xD. And I don’t mind AUs of Kamukura and Hinata as twins/brothers as well, the jealousy and cuteness that might come with it is nice too. I need more wholesome sibling interactions in this series.

But in a more ‘canon’ sense, I think Naegi and Nanami would be able to tolerate him and try to be his friend, or talk to him and try to understand him more. His talent mode event with Akamatsu was really cute and nice too, I can see her trying to get Kamukura to ‘feel’ more. I also like his interactions with Enoshima and Komaeda (more in a one-sided funny way where Kamu just gets annoyed with those two going on about despair and hope respectively, but he can’t quite get them to leave him alone). A NOTP I have with said character: I don’t see him being interested in Komaeda or Enoshima, sorry. :’DA random headcanon: He is really prideful and stubborn and as much as he says he doesn’t feel anything, he dislikes feeling like he lost to someone, or the feeling of someone using him or lying to him (cough), especially if they make a big deal about it, so he’ll try to get them back in some way. Usually he succeeds because he’s so good at reading people and manipulating how they feel. General Opinion over said character: I love him!! He is my second favourite character in the entire series! I did not know what to think of him at first and found the human experiment thing kind of creepy, but I grew to love him a lot after seeing some fanart where his face isn’t half shaded like in the game. His design is really nice and I love his long hair and sharp red eyes a lot, he’s so fun to draw. I think his character is important to Hinata’s as well, and it’s very fun to think about his personality and motivations, since he doesn’t appear a lot.

I understand how he feels, I guess. If you’re too good at everything and can predict everything, than of course life would be really boring. Not just that, he was kept in an empty room for most of his life, probably with nothing to do except take part in some experiments. Even if he may not feel ‘sad’, it’s still a tragic and lonely fate. If you think about it, his personality is a bit like an awkward child. He’s blunt and tactless, doesn’t understand humans’ emotions and doesn’t really care about anything and anyone, is way too skilled at everything, but in his own way, I believe he’s searching for a reason to keep existing. He questions things because he wants to find an answer that satisfies him.

HINATA

Favourite Food Headcanon: Besides kusamochi, I think he’ll also like… hamburg steak! Or steak in general but I don’t think he can afford those too often, poor Hinata (literally).Favourite Ice Cream Flavour Headcanon: I can see him liking dark chocolate or maybe red bean.A ship I have with said character: Besides Kamuhi, I love him with Naegi too! I seem to like protagonist pairings for some reason… But they’re cute. I like their height difference and the fact they both have many similarities and differences. They’re both rather ‘normal’ compared to their friends, so I think they’d be able to relate to each other a lot.A BROTP I have with said character: I think he would get along with Ishimaru (biased). They’ll probably fight sometimes, because Hinata would probably get frustrated with how no matter how hard he works, he still can’t reach the same level as the other Ultimates, but I think Ishimaru would really encourage and motivate him to do better, after he sees how hard he works and realises Ishimaru’s not just saying that because he’s already ‘talented’. Plus I think Hinata would be able to hang out with him, study with him and share some of his hobbies with him once in a while and show Ishimaru the school life with friends he was missing out on (lol).Of course, I love Hinata with Nanami and Komaeda as well! I think he enjoys Nanami’s company, and she’s a really positive and helpful person. And while he gets annoyed and confused by Komaeda sometimes, in a world with no killing games, I think they would eventually settle their differences and be there for each other when they need it.A NOTP I have with said character: Komaeda (sorry again). Mostly because I feel like a lot of people just treat Hinata as Komaeda’s therapist and ignore his conflicted feelings towards Komaeda in the killing game, and the fact that Hinata has issues of his own to deal with. Not to mention I rarely see anyone mention Komaeda’s harsh treatment of Hinata in chapter 4, when he finds out he’s just a reserve course student, and he spends the whole time afterwards mocking his intelligence and lack of talent... I think their conflicting ideologies and how they view talented and untalented people is very interesting and I like their dynamic but a lot of the shippy content doesn’t really touch on that and I’m not really fond of how it seems to be the only Hinata pairing that people care about. :’D A random headcanon: Even though he says he really admires Hope’s Peak Academy, he didn’t actually do a lot of research on it, partially because he was afraid he might find out things about his ‘dream school’ that might ruin his enthusiasm for it, because he was afraid that he might have to find another path in life. He is the type to ignore his problems until they get really bad and he realises he’s messed up badly. Of course, his view on HPA got shattered anyway and he hates feeling helpless and that he might have made the wrong choice, but there’s nothing he can do about it and he’s too prideful to drop out and find another school.General Opinion over said character: I love him!! He’s definitely my favourite protagonist (and I love almost all of them)! I really like how his personality comes off very clearly. He starts out rather confident, trying to act the same around the other students to convince himself he too has a talent and can blend in with the class, to becoming more reserved and less confident after Komaeda reveals the truth about his talent, to becoming all ‘screw what everyone else thinks’ in the last chapter. Even reserve course Hinata feels more resigned to his fate but still quietly fighting. He seems to care more about the opinions of his classmates than Naegi (who kind of just brushes everything off). He feels very relatable - he’s normal, he admires talent and wishes he could be like that, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t quite reach that level... and he may not want to admit it, but it’s possible he just doesn’t work as hard as some of them. But isn’t that normal? Not everyone can be like Ishimaru and be motivated to work hard 110% of the time. Naturally, Hinata got tired. All he can do is keep dreaming and hope that something will come along and help him achieve his dreams...

Even so, he’s stubborn, and keeps staying in HPA (maybe even out of spite), he doesn’t want to completely give up yet and be like the rest of his reserve course classmates. He has a bit of a superiority complex and inferiority complex at the same time, he can be pretty judgemental and pessimistic, and he seems to put some distance between him and others. He has his moments where he feels all is lost and doesn’t know what to do, he fell into so much despair and helplessness that he decided to undergo brain surgery, and he probably didn’t know his existing personality would be erased. He has a lot of flaws, but he’s not a bad person, he does try to hear out his friends when they have trouble, he tries to understand his classmates that act ‘strangely’, he tries to keep his negative thoughts to himself and puts them aside when his friends need help. Tl;dr he feels very ‘real’, I love his personality and character development, his backstory is interesting and tragic, and I love Kamu too so it’s like two great characters in one.

#Anonymous #thank you anon!!!#this ended up being really long because i love them :'D #sorry for the essay ;w; sweats

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armoured-iron-geek · 7 years

Text

Tony’s Final Choice: Part 2

Follow up to Tony’s Final Choice

As requested by @pinksaphira11

It was Rocket and Quill who found Tony in the dust on that lonely cluster of leftover planet, broken and bloody and bruised...his heart beating no longer. The Iron Man suitcase armour dropped hopelessly from Quill’s hand, far too late to save and protect it’s creator.

As Quill stepped forward to further assess the body, Rocket raised a shaking paw to the communicative device in his ear that he and Tony had built their quick friendship over creating together. He passed along the grave message to Strange, who then spoke onto his own ear piece.

For the fighters in Wakanda, the planet seemed to stop spinning for a brief moment, a thick tension quickly building then bursting in a wave of shock as Strange’s voice reverberated through their very souls.

“Iron Man is down. Repeat: Iron Man...is down.”

*******************

Thanos had backed down for the time being, biding his time despite having nearly all of the Infinity Stones in his possession. No one was quite sure why he had decided that this break was necessary, but they weren’t going to waste an opportunity to lick their wounds, re-group and, most importantly, lay their loved ones to rest.

In some morbid way, the Avengers could be considered lucky to have only lost a single member of their team while entire families had been ripped apart and entire planets had lost their populations. And in another morbid way, Tony was lucky to remain an individual, to keep his name and not just become a figure in some statistic logged in a government file. He remained Anthony Edward Stark:

Genius. Billionaire. Husband. Philanthropist.Hero. Martyr.

Two weeks after his death, he and his beloved Pepper, who had perished in the act of evacuating Stark Industries during the initial invasion, lay peacefully side-by-side in a closed double-casket made from gold titanium alloy. The funeral itself was worthy of Mr and Mrs. Stark’s status, but there was a simplicity to it’s elegance.

The service was held in Green-Wood Cemetery, among the oak trees and upon freshly mowed green grass. The attendees gathered close to each other, a fairly large group, but restricted to distant family, friends, colleagues and members of the Stark Industries board. Memorials and makeshift candle-light vigils were held in the US and all around the world for the fans and admirers who wanted to say good-bye in their own way. People sang, danced and prayed, some clad in black, others in red and gold.

As both Tony and Pepper were openly atheist, there were no psalms or passages from any religious texts to be read, just stories and memories to be told and cherished. Eventually, it was time to lower the Starks into their final resting place, a melancholy song called River crooning them downwards.

**************

Several miles away, a solemn teen rested against a mountain of pillows in a hospital, limbs in casts, IV’s in place and the steady beeping of a heart monitor for company. His aunt had disappeared to run a few errands, promising to return as soon as possible, but in all honesty, he was glad for the loneliness. No one can pity you if they don’t see you crying.

His sobs weren’t caused by any physical pain. His healing factor had kicked in perfectly and if it weren’t for the fact that his legs had been shattered so badly, he’d already be up and out of there. No, this pain was far worse than any broken bone, stab wound, bullet wound or burn could ever muster. It could only be brought about again by losing the one thing he seemed incapable of holding onto.

Family.

There were many wonderful things Tony Stark had taught Peter Parker. Their original conversations about science, engineering and superhero antics had gradually extended into general life, Tony passing on the wisdom and logic that could only come from a mind like his.

Peter would always remember his favourite conversation the mentor and protege engrossed themselves in one night, digging into greasy pizza in the Compound’s workshop.Tony had been taking Peter through the framework of each of his AI’s and robots, demonstrating how they were entirely different, but still connected through various characteristics. It had sent Peter on a vaguely related train of thought.

“It’s kinda like me and Ned,” Peter had pondered aloud.

Tony had sent him an inquiring look at that statement, giving him a ‘go on’ gesture since his mouth was currently shut together by an excess of cheese.

“It’s just- I mean-Ned and I are so different. We have different ethnic backgrounds, different living situations, we don’t have the same interests in different areas of science, but none of that matters in the end,” Peter clarified.

Tony smiled softly, seemingly happy to divert the original conversation by prodding further. He hastily swallowed his current mouthful, “It’s the few things that you do have in common that counts.”

That was neither a statement nor a question.

Peter nodded, “Yeah, I guess. I’ve known Ned since I was little-”

“You mean more little than you are now?”

“Shut-up, you’re barely taller than me,” Peter lightly huffed, grinning at Tony’s laughter and giving him a playful shove, “Ned’s been my friend since forever and it’s gotten to the point where we do stuff for each other without questioning it. We help each other with homework, build Lego sets, I help him talk his parents into letting us go and do stuff, he helps me with Spider-Man stuff-”

“Right, he’s your guy in the chair. How could I forget? He’s only reminded me three billion times.”

“Hey, he just wants you to recognise him, “ Peter chuckled, “Having Tony Stark’s number in his phone is kinda a big deal for him.”

“I’m sure it is. Doesn’t mean I’m not second guessing whether I should have given it to him in the first place,” Tony teased, readjusting himself in his spot on the couch. He was silent for a few moments before shooting Peter a meaningful look, “Ned’s like a brother to you, isn’t he?”

Taken aback by the sudden mood-shift, Peter shrugged it off before replying, “Yeah...I suppose he is.”

Tony gave another soft smile, a rare occurrence. Quietly, he admitted, “Kinda like me and Rhodey. Couldn’t possibly tell you how many times that poor bastard’s had to haul my sorry ass back to safety. I’m telling you now, Kiddo, the people who are willing to save you from yourself no matter how bad things get- they’re the ones you hold onto. I’ve had to learn that the hard way.”

For a few moments, Tony went silent, a sobered look passing across his features as his eyes suddenly set on the storage cupboard Peter knew held Captain America’s shield. Peter was keen to move the conversation forward, but Tony bet him to it.

“The important thing to remember though,” Tony pressed on, “is to remember to give back. It took me longer than I care to admit to realise that and I nearly lost everyone. Never half-ass family, Peter. I’m sure I don’t actually need to tell you this, but at the end of the day, blood and genetics mean nothing. Especially for people like you and me. Our families consist of those who are just as weird and broken as we are because we need each other.”

Peter couldn’t help but grin at the genius’ honesty. The teen could have sworn, Tony was blushing, clearly not used to being this open in a single conversation. Peter decided to give something back. Like Tony said, you don’t half-ass it.

“You know you’re apart of mine, right?” Peter stated, causing Tony to swivel his entire body towards him in shock, “You came out of nowhere and gave me a chance to pursue something I was starting to think was far bigger than I could handle. Not only that, but you never left. Too many people have....”

Out of all the reactions Peter was expecting to get, a few moments of silence before abruptly being pulled into a tight hug was the best and most welcome of them. Tony never verbally responded, but Peter got the general idea.

“You’re apart of mine too.”

But now that precious part of Peter’s family was gone and just as irretrievable as those who had gone before him. Peter twitched in his bed, groaning and using his one good hand to wipe away the tears. He was bitter that the funeral was happening without him, but simultaneously relieved that he wouldn’t have to bear the memories of it.

A sharp glint of light was caught in his eye as the sun shone through the window. Grunting, he shifted his head to gaze at the ever-present sentry in the corner of the room. The Prime Iron Man armour hadn’t left his side, F.R.I.D.A.Y opting to stick to the final direction given to her by her creator. K.A.R.E.N had engaged her in a heated conversation, even attempting to take over the armour, declaring she was quite capable of caring for her directive, but Tony’s A.I was having none of it. Peter now had two bickering intelligence's at his disposal, much to his chagrin.

Their continuing arguments and constant doting frustrated him, but at least they were a distraction, preventing him from having to deal with his loss for a few moments at a time. He didn’t want to remember the moment of shock and the numbness that followed in the wake of being told his father-figure was dead. He wanted to escape the guilt that left him drowning and kept him awake at night as he tried to stop himself from screaming. He knew that wasn’t want Tony wanted of him, but how could he prevent himself from feeling what was true to his core?

A few weeks later.

Still stiff, but thankfully mobile, Peter sat by Aunt May on a leather couch across from one of the Stark lawyers in Stark Manor. The place was freshly cleaned and returned to it’s former glory, a bit stuffy and cold for Peter’s liking, but that could easily be changed if he wanted it to be so.

After all, the Manor was now his. As was several more properties across the globe, half of Tony’s intellectual properties and a third of Tony’s wealth and controlling shares of Stark Industries. Another third was split between Rhodey and Happy.

The final third of Tony’s wealth and the other half of his intellectual property was being bequeathed to another kid his age, someone Tony had told him about but never had the chance to meet before now. Harley Keener was seated with his mother and sister on the only other leather couch in the room, looking just as melancholy and nervous as Peter felt. That alone was enough to prompt him to approach the other teen once the formalities and paper work had been dealt with.

The two Stark heirs accompanied each other to the Manor’s pool area, settling down on old deck chairs, content to be next to each other in the silence for a while, just enjoying the cool breeze grazing their faces. Peter was happy to lay there for longer, but eventually Harley got curious and turned towards him, tilting his head.

“So you’re Spider-Man, huh?”

Harley gave a weak chuckle at Peter’s jerk reaction, giving himself away before he could even try to deny it.

“Don’t worry, Tony never blabbed. He would never do that to you. I kinda hacked into F.R.I.D.A.Y and found your file. Tony was both pissed and impressed by that...”

Despite himself, Peter laughed, hardly caring after several weeks of emotional turmoil,”Just don’t go spreading it around, yeah? Once we both turn 18, we’ll be sharing ownership of the same company. Best to not go pissing each other off.”

Harley chuckled again, “True. Shit. That shouldn’t be hard, should it?”

“What?”

“Owning the biggest tech company in the world. One of us is gonna have to run it eventually.”

“Ugh, I really don’t want to think about that right now. I don’t care,” Peter sighed, “I can’t even think about putting my suit on at the moment. Tony made that, y’know? He put so much effort into it...Parachute....Heater....A.I...Over 500 ways to shoot a web, how did he even...?”

“He cared about you, that’s how,” Harley stated as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. It probably was, “Just like how he tutored me in engineering despite not being able to visit me that much.....I’m gonna miss it...”

“Yeah,” sighed Peter.

The two heirs fell back into their shared silence again for several minutes before Harley once again broke it.

“Tony was closer to you than me.”

“What makes you say that? You knew him longer than I did.”

“Yeah, but you got to see him every week....I was just...”

“Family. You were his family. Tony said so.”

Harley looked apprehensive, but hopeful, “Did he really say that?”

Peter gave a grim smile, “Well...not directly, but it was implied. He said that his family consists of people who are just as weird as he was....”

“....You’re calling me weird?”

Peter chuckled, “Is that a bad thing?”

Harley considered it for a moment, “Nope, it’s not a bad thing at all.”

“Good. I guess....I guess we’ll just have to keep being weird together without him, right?”

“Right.”

#tony stark #peter parker #harley keener #aunt may #may parker #Iron Man #spider man #fanfic #The Avengers #Avengers infinity war

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 7 years

Text

Resource Management, pt25

Word Count: 2539 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77

The Avengers Tower was pretty swank. I’d regained my composure rather quickly. As soon as Pepper had wrapped an arm around me, the horrifying realization hit me that I was sobbing in front of a two strangers and a man that less than a month ago I would have happily punched in the throat for looking at me. I bit back my breakdown and decided it could wait until I was alone. Stark wasn’t the least bit fooled by my bravado, and I don’t think Potts was either, but they both respected my need to not talk. Stark was quick to offer me Captain Rogers’ quarters, as he was still in DC. I kind of wanted to ask for Thor’s, but didn’t want to endure the teasing that I knew would have resulted.

The bathtub in the Captain America suite was unbelievable. Jetted, deep, and glorious, like a miniature hot tub. I stayed in it as long as the water stayed warm, and wrapped myself in a plush blue housecoat when I got out. My muscles were already stiff and sore from the abuse of jumping out of a moving car. The bath had helped, somewhat, but it wasn’t going to cure the pain. I needed muscle relaxants and food. Tony had mentioned something about food in the common living area. I tried to follow my nose unsuccessfully.

“Are you lost, Ms. Ellis?” A crisp English accent spoke from the ceiling. I shrieked and went into a defensive pose.

“What the hell?” I gasped. There was no one around.

“Ms. Ellis, I am J.A.R.V.I.S., Mr. Stark’s computer,” the voice was soothing, despite being disembodied.

“And you live in the ceiling?” I asked. I couldn’t think of what else to say.

“It’s somewhat more complicated than that. Can I direct you somewhere? Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts are in the common kitchen. A pizza has just arrived,” it said.

“Yeah, to the kitchen, Jeeves,” I agreed.

“It’s J.A.R.V.I.S., Ms. Ellis.”

“Sorry.” I followed the directions that J.A.R.V.I.S. gave me and found myself in the kitchen with no clue as to how I got there. Tony held a glass out to me.

“I remember you being a scotch woman,” he offered.

“Jameson’s actually, but I will not send this back. Thank you so much, Tony,” I started. He held up a hand and shook his head before gesturing to the pizza. I took a couple of slices and sat on a barstool at the counter.

“I would like to introduce myself properly before I run off to put out fires. Virginia Potts. Please call me Pepper. I understand you’re the poor soul who’s been managing his nightmare behaviour when he consults with SHIELD?” Pepper offered her hand. I shook it, and felt genuine warmth from her.

“I have. I had no idea he could actually be charming until he saved my life,” I laughed.

“He has that effect on intelligent women,” she replied tartly, winking at me. “I hate to run when you’ve obviously just gone through something horrible. Let me know if there’s anything you need. Tony is lovely, but he’s not the best host. J.A.R.V.I.S. can help you if there’s anything pressing.” She grabbed her blazer and briefcase and headed to the door, stopping to press a kiss against Tony’s cheek before continuing to the elevator. Tony stared after her, a goofy grin on his face. It wasn’t hard to see that he was completely in love with her. He turned back to me and the grin was gone. He was in security mode.

“What happened?”

“At SHIELD? Your guess is as good as mine, Tony. I got snatched by John Garrett a couple of days ago. He needed access to some files and with HR being locked down, I was his only option. I jumped as soon as I realized I was a dead woman. There’s no way he needs me with all the SHIELD information public online. I don’t understand the point of why HYDRA would have done it. It totally exposed them as well.” I shuddered at the thought. HR files are very detailed and intimate documents. The idea that mine was floating around on the internet made me feel a little gross.

“Romanoff published it, not HYDRA. To expose HYDRA as the true villain in this whole mess. Unfortunately, it’s not helping. And there’s a bunch of stuff that I’ve seen that is missing. So you may still be of value,” Tony took another slice of pizza and popped himself up on the kitchen counter. I downed my scotch and closed my eyes.

“I can’t hide out in Cap’s suite for the rest of my life,” I groaned. Tony laughed.

“I have a really good HR manager right now, but I can give you a job,” he offered.

“I might need it,” I accepted.

“The offer is there. No pressure,” he reiterated. “Have you heard from Phil? Fury?”

“No. I lost my phone, so I have no way to contact either of them aside from interoffice email. Which I suspect is either being monitored or doesn’t even exist anymore.” I sighed. Tony slid a phone across the table to me. I picked it up and flipped it over, admiring the Thor protective case on it.

“I may have cloned your phone.” He hopped down from the counter and put some distance between us. I dropped the phone and took a step toward him, my jaw clenched.

“You motherfucking –“

“Now, Annie –“

“Genius!” I completed. I picked the phone up and unlocked it. “Please tell me that it’s untraceable?”

“Except by me. And I would like to take this opportunity to recommend the subcutaneous GPS tracker to you again. Since you seem to get into a lot of trouble.”

“No thank you,” I dismissed, and flipped through my contacts. I hit the button to dial Phil. He picked up almost instantly.

“Annie, are you safe?” He didn’t waste words.

“I am.”

“Stay away from Garrett, he’s –“

“I know. I have a concussion and some bruising thanks to him and his sidekick,” I interrupted.

“Are you sure you’re safe?” His voice cracked a little.

“I’m with Stark. I’m safe for now.”

“Stay put until this blows over,” he ordered. I laughed a little.

“Stark’s already offered me a job. I’m not planning on going far.” I reassured him.

“I’ll come for you as soon as I can.” He sounded so stressed.

“Save the world, Agent Coulson. I’ll be waiting when you’ve brokered peace,” I softened my voice, “I miss you. Please stay safe.”

“I,” he paused and took a deep breath, “I miss you too, Annie.”

The line went dead, and the phone beeped the dropped call in my ear. I set it down in my lap, and blinked at the tears that were gathering at the corners of my eyes. Tony clapped me on the back and sighed.

“I’ll be in the lab, kid. J.A.R.V.I.S. can tell you how to get there if you need me.” He vanished down the hall to the elevator, leaving me with my thoughts.

I slept like the dead and awoke to bright streaming sunlight across my face. I was disoriented, but as I rolled to the edge of the huge bed, I remembered where I was. Mostly because the stiffness and pain in my muscles was so searing, I couldn’t help but remember everything that had happened. With every ache, I remembered more details of the previous few days. Despite the harsh reality of my world being up-ended, I felt safe and my mood was somewhere in the vicinity of carefree. Ridiculous, given my circumstances, but tucked away in the Avengers Tower, I felt safe. And coupled with the promise of a job with Stark Industries, I was feeling like my life might not be completely the shambles.

I found my way down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, and wasn’t surprised to be alone. I fumbled around the kitchen for a few minutes, wondering where to find the coffee making supplies, and remembered the disembodied ceiling intelligence.

“Uh, J.A.R.V.I.S.? Can you direct me to coffee?” I looked up. I felt a little silly, like I was praying or something.

“Certainly, Ms. Ellis. There is a coffee maker under the microwave, or if you would prefer, there is a k-cup machine by the fridge,” his (its?) voice responded. Like he’d been waiting for me to ask. Not creepy at all. I glanced out the window at the beautiful morning and felt a little wistful. It would be nice to get outside into Central Park and just get away from all the cares that were suddenly reappearing to burden me down with anxieties.

“Actually, where’s the nearest coffee shop?” I countered. The only way to get the worst of the stiffness out of my muscles was to use them, and it seemed easier than trying to make the perfect cup on an unfamiliar machine.

“You could throw a rock from the front lobby and likely hit five or six cafés, Ms. Ellis. According to Mr. Stark’s files on you, however, I would like to recommend the Tim Hortons in Grand Central Station.” If it was possible, the AI sounded almost judgmental as he offered me a taste of home.

“Are you serious?” I laughed, “There’s a Timmies in Grand Central Station? Point me in the right direction, Jeeves!”

“It’s J.A.R.V.I.S., Ms. Ellis. If you take your phone with you, I can interface with you from it.” I was going to have to ask Tony how he managed to give an artificial intelligence enough personality to judge coffees and get offended about his name being wrong. I took a quick shower and struggled into some clean clothes before grabbing my phone and catching the elevator. When I got outside, I looked down at the phone and saw that J.A.R.V.I.S. had brought a map up on the screen with an arrow pointing which direction to go. It was almost insulting to my intelligence, but it was a cool function, so I let it slide.

“So J.A.R.V.I.S., do I talk to you just like I would my old iPhone?” I asked.

“I think you’ll find I am better company, Ms. Ellis.” His tone was tart.

“Siri and I were on a first name basis,” I countered.

“I’m afraid I don’t have a first name, Ms. Ellis. It would be rude to call you by yours when I can’t extend the same courtesy.” If he’d been corporeal, I think he would have shrugged. I looked up and found where his maps were directing me, and headed that way.

“Why don’t you give yourself a first name then, J.A.R.V.I.S.?” I suggested.

“I’m afraid most people already find my interface confusing. A first name would personify me further and cause more issues.”

“Yes, because you have no personality currently.” My tone was dry, and I was hoping he would catch my point.

“I appreciate that you think I have a personality, but I’m really just an algorithm, Ms. Ellis.” It was that simple. His answer made me feel stupid. I was going to mention that to Tony when I got back. I was sure J.A.R.V.I.S. was helpful and awesome, but he was definitely designed by Stark to be a helper to Stark, and while he was unfailingly polite, there were some subtle nuances to his protocols that probably made more people than just me feel stupid.

I continued to follow the map to the coffee shop. I found my way in and got in line, eagerly anticipating ordering a pack of Timbits with my coffee. I wasn’t a huge fan of the coffee, but the donuts more than made up for it. I paid for my order and was heading out of the train station when I felt something poke me in the back. I sighed. Had anyone told me that the sensation of the barrel of a gun in the small of my back would ever become familiar to me, I would have laughed at them. But that’s exactly what it was. I glanced over my shoulder. It was Grant Ward holding the gun at my back. I felt relief wash over me. And just as quickly, felt it wash back away, like the tide. Ward had been trained by Garrett. He was probably just as dirty. It made the gun at my back make so much more sense.

His fingers dug into my arm as he steered me toward the exit. I just about dropped my Timbits. The way he was holding me was making the muscle relax. I regained my grip on the little box and glared at him.

“I would have thought you were better than this,” I muttered.

“Why? Because I was nice to you once?” His lip curled in a sneer. It made his handsome features twist and distort and reveal the ugly inside of him.

“Because Coulson picked you,” I corrected.

“I was Coulson’s fucking project, Ellis. He picked me like someone picks the big black dog with the bad attitude at the pound. Coulson is a fucking optimist in the extreme, thought he could domesticate me.”

“And men like you are wild and free?” I snorted. “Give me a break.”

He shoved me a little, and I took the opportunity to toss my coffee cup over my shoulder at him. The lid popped off and it splashed down his neck and chest. He pulled away from me, and I didn’t wait for an inscribed invitation. I kicked back, catching his knee and toppling him to the ground, and then ran back in the direction of Avengers Tower. Every part of me hurt, and when I glanced over my shoulder to make sure I was safe, I saw Ward catching up to me. I dug as deep as I could, tightened my grip on my Timbits and tried to run faster. But I was sore, and I was not an accomplished runner to begin with. I could feel my chest tightening, and I had a stitch in my side. I was going to need to stop running, quickly. My calves started to cramp and a stabbing pain shot down my inner thigh to my knee, causing me to stumble, and nearly fall. But I was pulled to my feet. I started screaming and kicking, hoping to throw Ward off, and then realized I wasn’t on the ground. But neither was whoever had me.

I looked down and saw Ward trying to grab my feet. I used the last of my energy to kick him squarely in the face, and then the stress and adrenaline caught up to me and I slumped into the red steel arm under my boobs. My last thought was one of gratitude to Stark, and then I allowed myself to faint.

#avengers fanfic #avengers fanfic with OFC #Phil Coulson x OFC

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floralbfs · 5 years

Text

WIP Ask Game!

thank u anon!!!!

1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

orphan gains powers, gets adopted by alien, saves the world.

2: Post a line from your WIP with no context.

'There's a whoosh of air, and Leo suddenly hears a voice he never thought he'd ever be able to hear again.'

3: Does your WIP have a title? If so, explain its significance. If not, what are you calling it for now?

Okay so I have been calling it the Youtuber Superhero AU (because it started as a fandom au but then i made it an original!!) but I thought maybe it could be "Thicker than Water", since my MC, Leo, is an orphan and he lives alone for most of his life (most of his life lmao at least until canon point? read also: around 9-11 years when in canon he's like 19?) in a remote, lowkey magical place/dimension?, but ultimately he comes back to his hometown and creates a family for himself!!!! i won't give spoilers but, since i already said this, part of his found family is his adoptive dad, an alien who is also a superhero!! If not TtW, I would call it maybe,,,,, Moonstone???? at least the first book!!! (ooh, maybe TtW can be the series name and Moonstone the first book's name?) because Leo kind of gets his powers through a moon stone????? it's not actually moon stone; it was a strange rock he found in the magical dimension that seeked out a champion for the god Huitzilopochtli??? and the closest word Leo could get for it was Moonstone, because of its uhhhhh singular qualities!

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

OKAY, this is a fun one!!! Leo's hometown is named Star Nova, idk why it just seemed cool, and it is a futuristic city!!! They don't follow capitalism Because I Said So, and they're really into, like, environmental stuff!!! So you'd see SO much flora all over the city kshdsjfh like those???? idk what they're called but like the towns overridden with plants? but controlled!!! There's a tiny percentage of the population (tho I still haven't decided if this is worldwide?? I have a way to make it worldwide but idk) who have superpowers, either due to "individual" factors (e.g Leo's powers are bc of the moonstone, and Matthew(his dad)'s powers are due to him being an alien!) or were affected by a weird experiment an Evil Corporation™ were doing; ECtm was trying out an illegal experiment that could alter living beings' genetics to their will, but it went wrong and their substance exploded and went airborne. Those who were working on it knew about its risks and toxicity, ergo they were wearing a special suit and weren't affected, but the gas contaminated and ??mixed?? with the air and spread to the nearest city, Star Nova (the unofficial capital of the Joint Pacific Nations) and affected a Whole Lot Of People!!! this all happened a while before canon, and the corporation got away with it bc they were filthy rich basically. Anyway, a lot of the people who were affected to the "virus" reacted negatively and died, some were uhhh """immune"""???, and a few Seemed to be immune but had actually had a successful celular-level bonding with the substance! It didn't do anything to them, but their children/grandchildren were born with physical or mental anomalies, also known as super powers (gasps)!!!! BUT!!! a lot of the story happens in the magical city of Coatl (it means serpent!), located within a pocket dimension somewhere inside the Mexican southern forest, where Leo finds himself when he's four years old, recently orphaned, guided by a magical ....bird....being....? he lives there for around eleven years, and he's granted Huitzilopochtli's Champion's power once he's like. Not A Baby lmao. Coatl is.... kind of like,,,,, an Olympus, I guess? Only those with like the destiny to find it know where it is, and they can lead other people there if it's for good causes! It's almost like a sentient city, and the Aztec gods kinda. chilled there???? my theory is that a lot of religious mythologies exist, at least in this universe, and they all co-exist on earth, or pocket dimensions inside of it!!! anyway, Leo lived there and was basically raised by gods???? and an AI???? bc i love AIs???? and uhhhh i think that got away from me ajdhsjdhsj does all of this even count as setting??? am i missing anything????

5: Search for the word “knife” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

no knives sadly :( i guess i haven't reached Those Scenes yet???? tho there should be one in the first chapter….. my wip document is just kind of very messy ajdhsjdjsjdh i might just have to make a new document????

6: Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

???????????? why am i not using any words?????????? sorry :/

7: What are you most proud of?

probably the worldbuilding and characters (at least those with superpowers? maybe i should say superpowers period)!!!!! they're very complex and thought-out????? and i THINK they're original!!!!! so!!!!! ＼(￣▽￣)／

8: What is your biggest challenge?

oooooof,,,,,,,, probably..... getting an actual plot lmao????? like i have an overall view of my would-be first and second books, but i don't know if they actually have enough to them to be written as they are?????? like… idk if the conflict is really like??? worthy to be a Main Conflict™????

9: How would you describe your writing style?

oooooooh uhhhhh maybe….. flowery prose???? i'm a poet at heart, so if i don't use loads of metaphors and language uhhhh idk their name in english but language variators??? i will literally die. but seriously nsjdhsjdhsjfh nothing too serious!!!! most of my “”””angst”””” scenes are….. not so sad, i think skfjsjfj

10: How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

oh!!!! well, i think it'd be multiple povs, alternating chapters, third person???? i'm still not sure whether to use 1st or if i already have??? p sure that's a different wip i'm thinking about tho

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh seeing how underdeveloped she is right now??? probably Persephone???? bc she's genderfluid skfjsjfjdjfh or uhhhh Scott??? bc i too love leo with my heart and would die for him and stay with him in the afterlife. (hypothetically, of course….)

12: Which character do you have the least in common with?

Maeve, probably!!!! she's, uh…. Something.

13: Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

They Are All A Mess. akfhajfjajfj Matthew would probably become the leader and like. establish order and shit???? but he's also the hugest nerd so he'd just give the leader role to someone else (probably seph staine?) and goes exploring and cataloging shit skfhsjfhdjf Leo is probably the most resourceful one of the bunch, so he would immediately like. start planning for huts and food and stuff???? also idk if they would have their powers in this situation cause it'd be too easy to get them all out of there????? but let's just say they do but the island is inescapable by flight?? he can talk to animals, so he could communicate with the local fauna and like form alliances???? Seph is a good leader, so he'd probably like….. keep everything in check???? and Leo's friends are all good and resourceful, so they'd make a good team!!!! tldr they basically create order immediately and do their best to not struggle??? after a few days/weeks, some of them start to like. break down? but the adults are like. wise and shit??? and i'm pretty sure at least one of them is like a licensed therapist??? so they help each other out uwu

14: Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

oh!!!! only for a few!!!! Leo and Maeve's birthday is on March 25, Scott's birthday is on August 27, Matthew doesn't really have a birthday??? because time is different in his planet????, Percy and Persephone's birthday is somewhere in November, and uhhhh im p sure that's all i got akfjsjfjsj i suck at birth dates

15: Do you know your characters’ MBTI personalities?

GOD, no. maybe i should do their tests???👀

16: What would your characters be for Halloween?

Leo… doesn't believe in/care for Halloween, as he didn't grow up around it, but it's totally Scott's jam!!! they are dirt poor in a good first half of the book, though, so they can't really dress up :( they met in the library, and after (spoiler alert!!!) scotty's death, Leo feels it appropriate to dress up as Scott's fave characters every year. Percy and Persephone are (very weak) shapeshifters, so their costumes ROCK!!!!! they always do matching costumes, so they get cliché pair costumes!! Matthew….. uh. he is… way too old for that. he was literally alive before Halloween was even a thing, so it's not really his thing. Leah just……. does her own thing??? she can see ghosts, so she sometimes does like historical costumes and stuff with their help!!! and Ben…. oof tbh that depends on what his fave song/album/whatev is at the moment??? he kinda creates like a story/aesthetic for them and dresses up that way!!!!

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

uhhhh found family, definitely!!!! i really can't think of any bc i'm an idiot, but uhhhh intelligence??? if that's a thing??? like,,, they're all powerful and shit but it's also like. brains over brawns????

18: What’s easier, dialogue or description?

i think description!!!! neither of them are… hard??? but!!! description is like…… where i can go hog wild akfjskfjsjfb

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

20: Post a brief excerpt.

Leo @Leoberry

You asked, I answered. New Q&A video is now up!

[3k retweets, 10k likes, 9k replies] 20 min. ago

[My First Q&A- video transcription excerpt]

[Leo Berry, a nineteen-year-old brunette guy with green eyes, wearing a red shirt with a lightning symbol on it that's loose on his muscular form, waves at the camera and smiles widely, dimples showing up on his cheeks.]

Leo: Hey, guys. You've been asking me to do a Q&A for a while, and the day has finally arrived! I told you to ask me questions on Twitter with the hashtag #AskBerry, and I've picked a few!

[Leo smiles brightly and lifts up his cellphone.]

Leo: First off, here's one by @razzberry- nice username, by the way-: “what's your cat's name? Do you have more than one?”

[The video shifts, and there's suddenly two cats sitting on Leo's arms: a large, orange cat quickly falling asleep on his shoulder, and a black kitten hugged in his arms.]

Leo: I do! This little fella-

[He gasps as the kitten in his arms struggles to get free and runs off-camera.]

Leo: Don't leave me! Okay, that little fella is Onyx, and, as you can see, he doesn't like me very much. Anyway, this little gal asleep over here…

[He points toward a small orange cat sleeping on his shoulder.]

Leo: ...is Tigress! She's my little baby. You've probably seen her around a lot on my vlogs, since she really likes to hang out on my bed.

Leo: Next! @Honeybats asked: ‘“is it true your dad is Jade?”

[Leo smiles and, after a few seconds of trying to school his features, bursts out laughing.]

Leo: You mean to ask whether my dad is Matlal Jade, the greatest superhero of our era?

Leo: ...Well, yeah! My dad- [more laughs] my dad is totally my Jade. His name is Matthew, and I keep asking him to fly me to school. He says it's not funny!

[He sobers up for a second.]

Leo: Jokes aside, he adopted me a few years ago and he'll always be a superhero in my eyes. I was in a really dark place when he found me, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me.

[Leo looks away for a second and loses his smile. The video cuts and skips again, and Leo appears once again, this time sporting an easy smile and a blue shirt, this one tighter around his shoulders.]

Leo: things got a bit too deep! This one was sent by @shazhangs: “are you dating anyone at the moment?”

[Leo laughs.]

Leo: God, no. I mean, I'm not really a people person, you know? And I’ve been so focused on work, vlogging, and, uh, extracurriculars, that I really haven't had any time to socialise.

[Leo laughs again.]

Leo: This one comes from @perspartone: will you collab with any other youtubers anytime soon?

Leo: Yeah, sure! I don't think I have done any videos with other people in the past, so it'd be a fun thing to do! I just have to find a friend first.

[Leo laughs loudly.]

[End of excerpt. For viewing of the video, refer to Leo Berry on Youtube, and find the full transcription here at DailyBerries in a few hours.]

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kalinara · 7 years

Note

Rip - honour. Rip - intelligence. Rip - savvy. Rip - interactions. Rip - groups. Rip - pride, hubris, arrogance. Rip - resiliency. Rip - attraction. Rip - relationships (any/all kinds). Rip -privacy. Rip - secrets (both keeping them and being out of the loop). Rip - touch. Rip - respect. Rip - love (all of them). Rip - disaster. Rip - loneliness. Rip - leadership. Rip - ever be ready/willing to have a relationship again? Rip - relaxation. Rip - nemesis.

Rip - honour.

Hah, that’s an interesting prompt because my gut instinct is that he is an honorable person…for the most part.

And for a certain definition of “honor”. (Sorry, American. I have no time for an extra “u”.)

I think he tries to follow a code of honor when he deals with the team, as much as possible. He lies to them, yes. But he also tends to be very open with the risks and their chances of success. For example, when he recruited them against Vandal Savage, he might not have told them the whole truth, but he never let them believe it was anything but a nearly-impossible quest. He always offered to take them home, and when Mick and Snart took him up on it, he didn’t make any attempt to stop them.

But at the same time, I think that he’s used to working on a bit more of a grand scale, with stakes that make honor and fair play a bit less of a priority.

Certainly, as we’ve seen, he isn’t inclined to a fair fight. He’s got that stunner for a reason. And while he’s a good hand-to-hand fighter, he does his best work via sneakiness and ambush. But he’s a scrawny man with no superpowers, so it’s debatable as to how fair some of these fights would be anyway, if he didn’t cheat. :-P

In the end, I think he’s a pragmatist who wants to be honorable, and tries to be honorable to an extent, but is willing to push that honor aside when the stakes are high enough.

Rip - intelligence

I think Rip has a lot of ingrained assumptions and prejudices with regard to intelligence and/or education. I think that it’s a quality that he values very highly. And I think we can see that in the way he initially responds to the crew.

He seems to immediately find a common ground with Martin. They clash at times, but there was an immediate mutual respect. As bad as he often was as a leader, he was usually pretty decent at managing Ray. (And for that matter, in Fellowship, he seemed to be even a little better at keeping Nate in line than Sara usually is.) He seems to have a lot more patience with the kind of accidental insubordination of distracted geeks than he does with other folk.

He gets along reasonably well with folks like Sara and Jax, who may not have the fancy degrees, but have a lot of natural intelligence. He respects, although distrusts, Snart.

And it probably, subconsciously, fed into his issues with Mick at first. Mick is not stupid at all, but his intelligence is on a social/emotional level that the Time Masters aren’t likely to value or even recognize. And I think Rip’s personal history adds some interesting layers to it.

Rip spent the first formative years of his life starving on the streets. We don’t know much about that time, but I’m inclined to think that if he’s so quick to stab an adult when feeling threatened, it probably wasn’t particularly pleasant. I think we can probably hazard a guess that there wasn’t much in the way of educational opportunities there either.

But that changed when he got recruited to the Time Masters. Suddenly, he was in this warm, safe, place, where he could eat his fill and no one could hurt him. It must have felt like a completely different world. And of course, the Time Masters didn’t just give their orphans housing and an upbringing, but an education as well. (and a healthy dose of indoctrination).

So I tend to think somewhere in the unconscious part of Rip’s mind, he associates education/intelligence with all of the good things like food, comfort, safety. Basically civilization. Whereas the lack of education/intelligence ends up associated with the fear, cold, terror, hunger of his very early past.

I don’t really think it’s the key reason he didn’t like Mick at first. But I think it’s tied up in all sorts of other issues. Mick is a criminal. Mick is brutal. Mick is angry and uncontrollable and violent. Mick is uneducated. Somewhere in the back of Rip’s mind, Mick basically is associated with everything that Rip has been raised to hate about his pre-Time Master past. And of course, the odds are that street-kid Rip would have met people that, on surface level, seemed a lot like Mick. And those likely would not have been fun or positive experiences.

None of this, of course, is fair to Mick. (Fortunately, Rip seemed to realize that after the Chronos debacle, and their dynamic shifts significantly and positively in the second half of the season.)

Rip - savvy.

Okay, so I was going to type a lot about how I think Rip values shrewdness and practical knowledge, but that’s boring and I just typed a lot about intelligence anyway. So instead, I will talk about pirates.

I think that Rip is secretly a big fan of pirate type media, and may have, at some point during rebellious adolescence considered running away and becoming a time pirate himself.

Gideon was always a little sad that he never followed through with it. His pirate dreams were a lot of fun, and she always thought she’d make a good pirate ship.

Rip - interactions.

I think Rip has no idea how to interact with people on a normal, person-to-person basis, without some sort of great goal or mission in mind.

I mean, can you imagine the poor guy trying to engage in small talk?

Rip - groups

So, the most interesting thing about the JSA/Spear reveal in season two, to me (as a single-minded Rip fan) was that it showed that Rip has actually worked with a group before. And surprisingly enough, seemed to be really effective at it.

I suspect a lot of it comes from the fact that by the time Rip recruited the JSA, they’d been working together for more than a decade. And even back in 1942, they were pretty calm, focused and disciplined. So it would have been pretty easy for Rip to present his case to them, and once they’d agreed to help, they would have devoted that calm, focused, discipline to the pursuit of their mutual goals.

But as we’ve seen: Time Masters tend to work alone. So I doubt he had any real appreciation of the work that goes into creating a team like that. Recruiting the Legends would have been a nasty surprise.

Rip - pride, hubris, arrogance

I think that Rip does tend toward a certain arrogance. I hesitate to call it hubris though, because I don’t think he tends toward “excessive” pride. (I think Rip’s deadly sin is more wrath than pride, honestly.)

Rip’s arrogance comes from his abilities and experiences. He’s a Time Master and he’s a damn good one. He’s Captained the Waverider for twelve years. He’s feared by time pirates. He has a shit ton of skills and training to back that up.

I don’t however think he’s a snob. I don’t think he has an innate sense of aristocracy, or the belief that he’s better than other people. He was pretty quick to treat his team as his equals. He respected Martin’s ability to use time equations, Jax’s ability as ship’s engineer, Sara’s ability to fight and to lead. I think that his initial issues with the Rogues weren’t so much feeling as though he was better than them, as they reminded him of an origin/life that he very much wanted to forget. There’s an interesting distinction there that might fuel its own blog post one day.

Rip’s secret keeping probably does have an element of pride, but I think it’s less about an inflated ego, and more a sense of “this is MY responsibility, I can’t put this on someone else’s shoulders.”

Now the Time Masters on a whole? The epitome of hubris. There’s a reason that I think of them as the time-space Order of Hermes. They scheme, they manipulate, they control, and they tell themselves that it’s for the best. That they’re the best people to make these decisions. And in the end, their machinations led to their own destruction.

Rip - resiliency

Rip is a survivor. He kind of has to be. We’ve seen the trauma list. But I wonder if maybe his resiliency hasn’t met its match. Rip’s been different since Land of the Lost. More shaken, less certain. And I don’t think it’s entirely about confusion over his place in the group.

I’ve described Rip as a festering knot of rage and sarcasm wrapped in a duster (a description that I am rightfully proud of), but we haven’t seen any of that rage since Rip woke up. Even when the poor guy was face to face with Eobard, all he managed was a tired sounding “in the brig”. It’s worrisome.

Rip - attraction

Okay, so I mentioned before that I officially claim Rip Hunter as an asexual character. Dude fell in love with a disembodied AI, whose only visual image is a floating blue head. He’s one of us.

That said, it’s clear that he has romantic attraction. We see that with Miranda, Jonah, and Gideon. It’s not a very large sample size, I’ll grant you. But what can you do.

But based on those, I would say that Rip seems to be drawn toward passionate, somewhat domineering personalities (Gideon’s subtler about it, but it’s definitely there), with strong convictions. And he seems to especially like beings with a wild or uncontrollable streak.

So this is where I reiterate the headcanon that Rip is romantically in love with his entire damn team.

(I suspect he also may have a bit of an oedipal/electra complex.)

(Bonus, slightly disturbing thought: if you look at Jonah Hex and then you look at Mick Rory, then it starts to be possible that there may have been yet another element involved in Rip’s initial difficulty in dealing with Mick. Just saying.)

Rip - relationships (any/all kind)

Hm. Well. For a Time Master, whose ethos specifically forbids most types of attachments, Rip seems to have collected a lot of them.

Miranda and Jonas are obvious, of course.

But there’s also the team, who he loves so much that even when he’s amnesiac he’s trying to save them.

There’s mentor/father figure, Druce. Mary Xavier. There’s Gideon. The JSA (at least Heywood and McNider. Courtney seemed more distant.) Jonah.

There’s even that fucked up obsessed villain dynamic that he has with both Vandal Savage and Eobard Thawne.

I mean, really? That’s a lot of fucking relationships. He’s really bad at the no-attachment thing, isn’t he?

(Awkward crossover AU idea: Rip Hunter in the old Jedi Order. or possibly Rip Hunter, the galaxy’s worst accidental Sith ever.)

Rip -privacy and Rip - secrets (both keeping them and being out of the loop)

I think privacy among the Time Masters must be a really interesting concept. They have AIs that monitor dreams. Councils that regulate romantic relationships. Devices to literally invade people’s minds.

That’s not a society that puts a lot of stock in privacy.

But I’m reminded of something I read about Japan, when I was much younger, which discussed how even though physical personal space was very different there than in the United States (as anyone who’s ever been crammed into a Japanese subway can attest), many Japanese people had other ways to establish personal boundaries and maintain some measure of distance from one another psychologically, even if it can’t always happen physically.

And it makes me wonder if the Time Masters don’t have their own ways of psychologically creating some measure of privacy for themselves.

It may explain why Rip finds it so difficult to open up to his crew. What do you keep for yourself in a society where even your dreams are monitored?

That said, to Rip’s credit, he isn’t prone toward hypocrisy. He doesn’t seem to have much of an issue when the crew keeps secrets from him too. (He was concerned about Sara’s bloodlust, but he didn’t seem to be upset that she didn’t tell him about it, for example.)

Rip - touch

I think this is one of the ways that the Time Masters really fucked Rip up royally from day one. Because Rip is so standoffish most of the time, so rigid and closed off, that he pretty much breathes “don’t touch me” vibes.

But as has been pointed out and illustrated in lovely gifsets, Rip is remarkably touchy-feely when people are injured. Shoulder pats. Face holding. Hand holding. And it’s not a matter of him tolerating their need for comfort. He’s the one who reaches out.

He’s the one that, as soon as he’s freed from the brig in his mind, immediately clings to Gideon (though when it came to the kiss, she pretty much jumped up to meet him half way. But that’s a different bit of meta.)

And then there was that weird sort of lean/not-lean into Jonah Hex’s space when they’re bantering about laser guns.

I think ultimately that Rip is not touch-averse at all. He’s touch-starved. He wants to reach out to people. He wants to offer comfort and receive it. He’d actually really enjoy a shoulder pat or a hand-shake, or a god-damned real, corporeal hug. But he doesn’t know how to ask for it.

He gives “don’t touch me” vibes because he doesn’t know how not to. And that’s so very sad.

Rip - respect

Okay, this one is more tangential. But I always find myself wondering about Magister Druce. I mean, specifically, his role in young Rip’s life. Because Rip respects him and trusts him so damn much for most of season one. EVEN after being lead into an ambush. EVEN after knowing about Chronos. EVEN after he issues the Omega Protocol.

And has that actor EVER played a good guy? Ever?

But Rip’s utter shock when he learns the depths of Druce’s betrayal is unmistakable.

And the thing is, I’m not sure that the regard is entirely one-sided. I’ve mentioned before that the entire Oculus reveal was basically unnecessary. Rip was captured and likely to be executed, exiled, or just imprisoned for life. Druce had no reason to remove him from his cell and explain everything. Unless he seriously thought something would be gained by it. I wonder, if Rip had given into despair and surrendered, if Druce wouldn’t have actually brought him back into the fold. I kind of think that was the intention. (Especially given the parallel cuts to Mick’s re-brainwashing.)

It’s pretty clear that they were mentor and student at one time. But it seems like a little more than that. This isn’t just a student’s respect and trust for a mentor. It’s bigger, blinder, more unconditional than that. It’s a child’s trust, and as we’ve seen, Rip isn’t particularly good at trusting anyone.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Druce had been grooming him from a very young age. He might have even been the one who initially found little Michael on the streets and brought him in. It would explain a lot. Particularly the level of self-loathing that Rip has for his younger self. Mary Xavier wouldn’t have encouraged that, and instead seemed gently tolerant of Michael’s issues. Druce, however, may have.

And of course, then it leads to more speculation. Rip may not have trusted the Time Masters, but he trusted Druce. How much did he trust him? Did Vandal Savage know how to find Miranda and Jonas because Rip told Druce where they were?

Rip - love (all of them).

All of the types of love or all of the characters?

Okay, so, this is another “I blame the Time Masters” bit, but I suspect that eros and philia are really easily mixed up in Rip’s brain. It’s what comes of a society that stigmatizes normal human connections the way it does.

I’ve mentioned before that I imagine Rip sees gestures of romance in the same way that we look at overtly sexual acts, and I stand by that. In a lot of ways, I think he’d be more comfortable seeing sexual acts, as that’s just primitive biology. Romance and friendship, concepts that prize connections between people, that prioritize certain people over others or even the world… those are truly dangerous for a Time Master.

And considering that Rip did help break time specifically for his team, the Time Masters may have had a bit of a point.

But anyway, this is yet another chance to state my sincere belief that Rip Hunter is deeply in love with his entire team. Even Martin. Even Mick. And of course, Gideon. And he has no idea how to begin to parse out these emotions or what to do with them.

I think the Time Masters probably have a really interesting stance on storge. There are certain implications that it’s frowned upon as well. Certainly Jonas was a problem. And I suspect there’s a reason Rip had to cross his own timeline in order to seek his mother’s help.

The one storge type of relationship that seems to be tolerated is Rip’s regard for Zaman Druce. But perhaps that makes a lot of sense. If the young Time Masters’ are only allowed one outlet for human connection, they will likely be very dependent on it, and therefore more easily influenced.

Agape is probably the love most favored by the Time Masters. But I think it’s the love that Rip is least suited to. Agape requires a level of emotional distance that I don’t really think Rip has. Rip goes all in.

Rip - disaster.

I feel like that dash should be an equal sign. And that pretty much says it all. :-)

Rip - loneliness

One very consistent character trait of Rip’s is that, in the end, he really needs to have people around him. We’ve seen what he does when he’s alone: he either ends up succumbing to despair or engaging in tremendously bad, self-destructive ideas.

The truly depressing part about Rip’s story so far, however, is that he starts out as a man who is (except for Gideon, to be fair) completely alone with his grief, rage and guilt. He ends up gathering a makeshift family of misfits and assholes. But he still ends up suffering alone.

Rip - leadership

Wisecracks aside, I don’t actually think that Rip is THAT bad as a leader. As we’ve seen in the Spear flashbacks and in Fellowship: when there’s a clear goal, with a clear direction, with a team that’s willing to listen, he does fine.

Furthermore, there are a number of really good decisions that he made in season one that he never really gets credit for:

For example, naming Jax as ship’s mechanic. This wasn’t just a lucky spur of the moment decision. It was a decision made in the context of a growing issue.

If you recall, the relationship between Martin and Jax was a pretty important arc in the beginning of season one. Martin had kidnapped Jax to bring him along, to begin with, while Jax had expressed doubts that he’d be any use on this kind of team. They were also dealing with Martin being overprotective and domineering toward Jax, as a result of dealing with Ronnie’s death. Martin had to learn to trust and back off of Jax.

So looking at that, then we can see why naming Jax as the ship’s mechanic was actually a legitimately brilliant management decision.

Jax didn’t initially have a lot of self-confidence. He saw himself as the normal guy. An ordinary mechanic surrounded by super geniuses and assassins and so on. (Not that there is anything wrong with being a mechanic.)

But Jax was a mechanic and a very good one. And he was much smarter than he gave himself credit for. This made him an ideal choice. (And since he’s patient and mature, he’s far better suited than Ray, who while brilliant and mechanically inclined, is a bit too erratic for this kind of job.)

So Jax discovers that he has it in him to be an awesome Chief Engineer. Instant boost of confidence.

It also has nothing to do with Martin or Firestorm. As we’ve seen with Ray, when you have powers or cool tech, it can be very easy to put all your self-worth into one specific role. And when you’re partnered with someone who can be a little overbearing, like Martin, then that can be a lot of added stress or a recipe for co-dependence.

But this way, Jax has something that proves that he has value as a teammate besides just being Martin’s partner. It’s something that’s all his. And it gives him more of a way to argue on equal footing.

And it gives him a way to seek privacy and vent if he needs to. Need some time alone? Important repairs.

Another good decision that Rip made was to pair Kendra and Sara in White Knights. This was, if you recall, right after the episode where Sara had revealed her issues with bloodlust. And of course, we learn that Kendra’s having a great deal of difficulty managing her Hawk powers and memories.

Neither woman would have likely sought the other out on their own. As we saw, both had a considerable amount of distrust for each other at the time. Furthermore, Sara’s used to suffering in silence, while Kendra was understandably overwhelmed with the changes in her life.

They’re both good people though and even though they’re not likely to ask for help for themselves, both women were inclined to try to help someone else.

So Rip pairs them up, points out to each how she’s uniquely qualified to understand what the other is going through. And voila, both women are able to help each other, and then embark on a lasting friendship.

I don’t point this out to give Rip credit for either Jax’s achievements or Sara and Kendra’s. He is certainly not the reason that Jax was a good mechanic or the girls became friends.

But in both cases, he was the one to recognize the potential that these characters had, and pushed them into a position to discover that for themselves.

And that’s pretty good!

In the end, Rip’s biggest obstacle as a leader is, I think, a measure of confidence. He doesn’t have the confidence to open up to his team. He doesn’t have the confidence to exert authority over his team. So he is never able to quite direct or control them successfully.

Rip - ever be ready/willing to have a relationship again?

That’s a hard question. I think at some point in the distant future, he would be ready/willing to have a relationship, but honestly, he’s nowhere near that point right now. He’s not quite the jagged chasm of despair that he was in season one, thank goodness, but I think he’s still a bit too fragile.

One of the reasons that I ship Time Hex is that I think it’s the only relationship that I could see actually working right now, because all the groundwork was laid a long time ago. Even if you don’t think they had something going on then, there was still a level of trust and camaraderie that predates Rip’s current fragility.

Prior to Turncoat, I thought Time Canary had a chance to work too. He’s still kind of broken, but she’s kind of broken too, so I thought they might be in a place that they could help each other. But then there was evil Rip. And even though I think Sara’s already forgiven him, and had basically as soon as they saved him if not sooner, Rip isn’t anywhere near ready to forgive himself.

And really, I don’t think Sara would pursue it either right now, even assuming she’s interested. She has some idea of how lost and fragile he is right now, and how hard he’s trying to adjust to the changes of the crew, his role and hers. Pursuing a relationship right then and there would probably feel like a potential abuse of power. And I think Sara is someone who is always very conscious of that kind of thing.

Oddly, I also don’t think Rip is ready for Time Ship at this juncture, and I kind of wonder if that wasn’t maybe some subconscious push for him to leave the ship. Because he and Gideon have been partners for a very long time. She’s a rock and a sole point of stability for him. But suddenly, thanks to his own impulsive gesture, there’s something new and chaotic in the mix. I don’t think he’s remotely ready to process that.

Rip - relaxation.

I’m not sure that I believe Rip is able to relax. Even before his family died. He just seems like the sort of person who is constantly focused on a goal or idea.

I’ve mentioned that I don’t see Rip as much of a chess player. I think of him more as someone who would be putting together a giant 5 billion piece puzzle, or making something. Basically solitary and creative pursuits.

Rip - nemesis.

Hmm. Well, so far we had Vandal Savage and Eobard Thawne? I admit though, I’d love to see the introduction of some rival ex-Time Masters or something.

But really, I want the return of Zaman Druce. He was such a great villain. I’d love to see him cross swords with Rip again. (Also, Leonard Snart would be back too. I know a lot of folk would enjoy that. :-P)

#Anonymous #rip hunter #legends of tomorrow #headcanon storm

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nora-reads-homestuck · 8 years

Text

Nora Reads HS Part 67

Pages 6094-6153

Heya, guys. I’m working on some hectic personal projects at the moment that are eating up a lot of my free time, but I’m on a staycation today and have decided to devote it to Homestuck! So, last time we got a closer look at young Mom, a.k.a. LittleLonde, and learned that Bro’s auto responder isn’t just a glorified answering machine, but a shades-dwelling AI with a level of intelligence seemingly on par with a human’s. We were also treated to the hilarious revelation that LittleLonde’s chat style is more like Dave’s than Rose’s, and Bro’s (or at least the responder’s) style is more like Rose’s than Dave’s. Will the two of them share other similarities with their opposing ectobiological offspring? Will Bro like knitting, in addition to making weird robots, and LittleLonde enjoy laying down some choice rhymes? And what on earth is the Condesce up to?

Let’s find out!

*click*

Jake: Exit.

...Aaaaaand it’s another character select screen! And I still can’t click on LittleLonde or Bro, rrghh. I guess I’ll click on Jane first, as much as I want to know more about Jake’s merciless stalkerbot.

But if you've been her already, there's really no point to this thing anymore. Time to move on.

...Oh. Wow dang, I’m dumb. OK THEN, MOVING ON.

Michael Cera??? Is this because of that poster in John’s house that kind of looked like... Hussie, you beautiful motherfucker. On the other side of the hall, we’ve got a Bing Crosby instead of a harlequin. So this is what the Crockbert decor looks like without the influence of Gamzee’s chucklevoodoos.

You are suddenly Jane again. Or, you suddenly keep being Jane. Who can say for sure???

Maybe next time I’ll be paying enough attention that I don’t keep cycling back through the same character select pages. :|a

Hopefully your dad is still out back washing the car. Ideally this is one of his legendary infinite car washes. What can you say? Dad fancies his automotive ablutions.

Both Dad’s and adult!Dave’s water bills must be outrageous. Luckily they’ve probably got assloads of money to cover it.

...Wait a sec, since Jane’s dad is alive, why isn’t HE the heir to Crockercorp?? Unless it can only pass down to females, who have to take up the mantle of Betty Crocker?

You slip the HALLWAY CERA a furtive wink for good luck.

Ahahaha.

Just one of your dad's bland HALLWAY DOUCHEBAGS.

FUCK I JUST SPIT WATER EVERYWHERE

Another example of his cornball dad tastes, which make you roll your eyes and shrug. Still, it's preferable to how it used to be. Years ago he would work really hard to mimic your interests throughout the household. Gaudy paintings of sitcom legends covering the walls, hideous detective figurines littered everywhere. You think it's better that he embrace his own interests rather than try to pander to yours.

Huh, that’s interesting. Could it also have been the case with Rose’s mom that she was trying to connect with her through sharing the same interests? Or is this simply meant to tell us that Dad is so much of a non-person that he automatically reflects the interests of whatever kid he’s got under his roof?

It felt a bit forced, and your early teen years were filled with daily rounds of familial STRIFE. Not so much anymore. Now whenever there is a father-daughter disagreement, you settle things in an adult fashion by being honest about your feelings and talking it through,

Ah, good! Hopefully this means LittleLonde and Bro will have less enmity toward their guardians than Rose and Dave.

and also by sneaking around the house in silly disguises.

Pfffff.

Jane: Take a peek into living room.

JOOOHN, NOOOOOOOOOO, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIE???

Ahem. Who’s that douchebag in the pork pie hat on the left? Fred Astaire maybe?

There's a familiar face. A friendly face. Old poppop Crocker, smiling from beyond. Your dad sure misses him. He doesn't like to talk about the day he died. Some incident involving a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a mysterious young woman in a suspicious looking hat. You have often fantasized about putting on your dirty old fedora and your Frenchest looking mustache to go tracking down this felonious broad and bring her to justice. But your dad always says best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Oh jeez. What will she do when she realizes the felonious broad is none other than herself?? >:O

There's some other plucky looking tool there next to him. Dunno who that guy is.

Yeah, I can’t really tell.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT ASTAIRES, BRO.

You were afraid this might be the case. Your dad has blocked the front door with the REFRIGERATOR. Looks like he's taking the grounding seriously this time.

Holy shit, Dad, overboard much. How the heck is LittleLonde supposed to put the cruxtruder there if the fridge is in the way??

You aren't about to go smashing glass and making a ruckus though. You'll need a solution involving more stealth. You guess you have a plan in mind as a last resort, but you'd rather it not come to that.

> Jane: Consult with poppop.

...Um??? What is an urn of ashes supposed to do, other than get toppled at the most hilarious and inopportune moment?

OH GOD OH NO, OH NOOOOOOOOOOO. So apparently Dad’s taken a page out of Jade/Grandpa’s book and had John stuffed. What do you want to bet he stipulated in his will that if he were preserved, his descendants had to do hilarious things with the corpse?

...Also, if he died the same fiery, explosive death Nanna did, how is there enough left of him to stuff?

It practically went without saying your dad keeps poppop stuffed and mounted in front of the fireplace, as is the family tradition. Poppop grew up with his legendary humorist grandfather stuffed in front of the fireplace, and so did his grandfather. This was stipulated firmly in the will, at the end of a long list of joke stipulations. (Dad knew this was a real stipulation though.)

Ahahaha, almost right on the money. So John lived with a stuffed Colonel Sassacre, but who did Colonel Sassacre have stuffed in front of his fireplace?

You always did find it a little macabre though, trying to watch tv and eat dinner on the couch with a dead old man standing about five feet away. You'd honestly prefer he not be kept here in the living room. Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.

The mere fact that she calls what what? That she calls the attic an attic? What else is she supposed to call it; the super-hive storage compartment??

What's that, poppop? It seems he's concerned that you may not be properly equipped. You prove to him that you indeed had no intention of leaving the house without your trusty joke book.

Oh wow. So if I’ve got the timeline right (and I’m not overly sure that I do), the Sassacre’s John is holding is the same one that actually went through the game with him, and not just the one that got sent down on the meteor with him. The meteor Sassacre’s was much cleaner and wasn’t yet covered in oil.

Hah, fun call back!

YES, I am going out with this book! No, I will not go get an unabridged copy! No, I will not take yours! I can hardly even lift it! Oh, that is so preposterous. Do you even hear what you're saying? I will be fine! This is a perfectly funny book and it contains many incredibly funny jokes! Oh, will you just stop it. I am going now. Good day!!! >:B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a passive-aggressive smiley to top it off. >:B

OH DEAR GOD.

You just remembered something your alien friend said about the big old book downstairs, and trusting words written by your own hand.

My god, that thing looks like shit. How many trips has the poor book taken by now? How is it not falling apart??

Uh, whoops. Sorry, poppop.

Yeah, “”whoops””.

> Jane: Retrieve arm.

This may be the very first time this command was actually 100% literal, and it’s beautiful.

Looks like it got used to wipe an ogre’s ass.

Is your friend suggesting that you were the one who wrote this inscription? You find that idea a bit hard to swallow. Still, your friends are always babbling about time travel...

Friends, plural? Just how much do Bro and LittleLonde know about the game??

You always thought this inscription was written to your poppop by his nanna, who was your great great grandmother, founder of the corporation you'll inherit in a few years.

Hah, that’s a laugh.

In any case, this message to poppop from his sweet old nanna is the best evidence you have to dispute all this evil batterwitch nonsense. She clearly cared for her grandson very much, and would never start a company responsible for the things it's accused of, let alone be alive today to perpetrate them. But then, what if she wasn't the one who wrote it? This thought makes you very nervous.

What if, indeed? Oh lawd, is she going to have one of those heroic BSOD moments John is prone to at the slightest revelation?

You suddenly remember your dream. What did it mean? You should talk to Jake about all this.

YES. YES, GOOD. *rubs hands together furiously*

Oh god, they’re both gonna get brainjacked, aren’t they.

GG: J, how goes the bunnyquest?

No need to be coy, Harley Quinn, we already know his name!

GG: What is it that has you hamstrung? Did you ever track down the slippery Mr. Strider?

And now I’m picturing young Bro slathered in Crisco. Great.

GT: Not exactly. GT: His stupid doppelglasses have set me on a wild goose chase to go pry his dumb robots chest open and swipe its uranium. GG: Sounds dangerous! GT: No shit. GT: I think id rather deal with the monsters.

With... the... what now?? I don’t remember the island having anything living on it besides Jade and Bec. ...We haven’t seen Bec, I presume, because he’s not the First Guardian anymore. So who raised him after Jade died??

GG: Why is it that our two best friends in the world always seem to place themselves at the source of all our problems, while simultaneously presenting their only solutions?

The M.O. of many a movie villain, just waiting in the wings with their million-dollar wonder drug or superhero-killing ammunition. Hmmm...

GG: I'm debating whether or not to enlist his help in the matter of my current imprisonment. But I'd rather keep it as a plan of last resort. GT: Dont do it jane its a trap!!!

Two questions here: how is Bro going to help, and how/why would it be a trap?

GG: Right. Well, not to keep you too long, since we both still have our missions ahead of us, but I wanted to tell you about that dream I had. GT: Oh yeah! GT: I was curious about that. Tell me everything and make it snappy!

I guess the ‘shitknickers’ is implied. Is she going to start her story with “It seems”?

GG: Ok, but, I should say that the nature of the dream was a bit worrisome. GG: And I'm concerned it may have implications for the game we're about to play. GG: So it's probably best that I tell you about it before you leave.

Oh jeez. What exactly did she see?

D’aww, how cute! I love the Prospit dreamers’ dresses.

GG: I woke up on the planet which we have been told about by our mutual acquaintance. GG: The one covered in golden cities. Prospit, remember? GT: Oh. Wouldnt it be prospits moon? GG: Yes, you're right. It was the moon, actually. I could see the planet on the dark horizon.

Wow, not only do LittleLonde, Bro, and mystery!troll know more than they should, but even Jane and Jake are familiar with the game’s constructs.

GG: Are you sure you haven't woken up there before? GT: Haha i WISH. GT: I have received reports from jade about this as well. She liked to talk about her dreams on prospits moon a lot. GG: I see. The impression I have developed is that this is supposed to be a real place, and all who dream there have shared experiences. GG: Did Jade ever mention seeing us there? GT: No but why would she? This was long before we were born! She was dreaming there like a hundred years ago or something.

Are you sure?

GASP! Those Prospitians are all naked!! Is that what they look like before prototyping occurs?

GG: I explored the moon, and began to notice people gathering in the streets. GG: But they weren't human. They were funny looking, perfectly white creatures. GT: Yeah those are prospitians. GT: They have these hard carapace shells and also have something to do with chess i think?

Well at least we don’t have to endure everything getting explained in excruciating detail all over again.

...WAIT DON’T FUCKING TELL ME MYSTERY!TROLL IS GOING TO GIVE ANOTHER SPIEL ON TROLL ROMANCE.

GG: Well, I don't know if they had much to do with chess here. GG: The more closely I observed, the more they appeared somewhat despondent. GT: Like... GT: Sad? GG: Yes. GG: I determined they were in mourning, actually.

Oh, shit. There’s only three people I can think of that they might have been mourning, and none of them is a good person to have die before the game even fucking starts.

GT: Hey. GT: Jane you said i was in this dream. Where do i come in? GG: Shoosh! I'm getting there.

OH FUCK.

Ah okay, so they are wearing clothes, just boring monochromatic ones.

GG: More and more Prospitians were filing out of the buildings every moment. GG: They all began to form a single, major procession. GG: When I got closer, I could see that some were in tears. GG: I realized this was a funeral.

If it’s not for the White King or Queen, then...

GG: I heard whispers, but couldn't make out what they were saying, so I got closer. GG: They were all saying the same thing, over and over.

All work and no play makes... Jack... an omnipotent god dog?

GG: "The Page is dead." GG: "Our hope is lost."

OH NOOOOOOO! How the heck is he ever going to go god tier?? :’(

GT: The page? GT: Whos that?

It’s you, Jake. :’( :’( :’(

GG: Jake. GG: The Page was you.

A beautiful image, and somber words, made only slightly more humorous by the fact that they echo Toby Fox’s illicit masterpiece.

GT: Oh. GT: Drat.

About as expressive as Dave’s ‘welp’.

GT: Are you sure?

Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

GG: Yes, I saw your body lying in a sort of coffin, on a bed of flowers. You were dead as a doornail.

If he were actually named Jake (Jacob) Harley, that would have been quite clever. Ah well, near miss.

GG: Everyone was so distraught! GG: Including me. :(

Awww. Either they’re totally destined for each other, or... well, we’ll see. I ship it, I guess.

GG: I hope I'm not too late to "warn" you, though to be frank I don't have the foggiest clue what it is I'm warning you about. GG: "Dear Jake, oh please do try not to... have already... died in my dream? Likely while you were sleeping, perhaps peacefully?"

Yeah, you’re a little late on that one. Unless we missed something about this all being in one of Skaia’s dream clouds... in which case it would inevitably happen anyway. Gosh, this is bad!! We know there’s an alternate way to get to the god tiers in the form of the quest slabs at the center of Prospit/Derse, but the few times we saw that in action, it was the players’ dream selves that died on them.

...Come to think of it, why not use the quest slab for a funeral bier instead of the coffin? It might have made for a far more interesting and, uh, lively funeral.

GT: And um same goes for you about being careful what with these various rogues accosting you with foul play lately and whatnot...

Rogue... player class? Eh, could be reaching.

GG: Now let's get this silly old adventure off to the races before the coat of dust it's growing gets any thicker.

Coat of dust? A coat antithetical to Lord English’s technicolor dreamcoat?

> Jake: Get silly old adventure off to the races.

And it looks like we’re Jake again!

He’s wearing cleats? How fucking dorky. Now PLEASE don’t fake us out the second he steps outside, unless it’s to show us LittleLonde or Bro. I could live with that.

Ok, something REALLY weird is going on here, and I don’t just mean the pumpkins. That doesn’t look like Jade’s house as I’m used to seeing it. It looks like... the arm that connects the bedroom to the main body of the house broke off? What’s the deal??

SHIT, I was right. And not only are there a metric fuckton of pumpkin vines, but also... a whole forest? I don’t remember seeing a single tree on Jade’s island. So things post-Scratch are different, in ways that aren’t yet quite clear. What was the catalyst for change?

Although these pumpkin vines are amazingly prolific, every morning when you leave your bedroom, you'd swear half the pumpkins vanished over night. It's probably just the FAUNA eating them. Not that it matters, because they keep growing right back.

Are these ‘fauna’ the monsters he was talking about with Jane? Did Jade have a whole safari imported or something?

It wasn't always overgrown like this. When you first discovered the TRANSMATERIALIZER, you started messing around with it haphazardly. You kept appearifying pumpkins from somewhere.

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS JAKE ALL ALONG. And Jade never knew, did she?? That’s fucking priceless.

It was just pumpkin after pumpkin, until one time a copy of the bunny you inherited from grandma showed up, much less old and tattered of course.

Aha, so that’s how their communication started! And presumably also how he had two versions of the bunny, one to give to John, and the other to send to Jane. One question down, 99 million to go.

You brought all the surplus pumpkins home and left them lying about. Then the seeds sprouted and started growing out of control. You guess that's what happens when you introduce nonindigenous FLORA into the wilderness.

Ok but pumpkins don’t grow on trees, so that still doesn’t explain the forWHOA WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT IN THE BACKGROUND??

“”FAUNA””?????

KARKAT’S LUSUS???????

HOW THE FUCK

DID THAT EVEN GET THERE, I DON’T KNOW

> Jake: Be completely oblivious to thing in background.

Hah, that almost sounds like a user submitted request.

You successfully fail to notice it.

Pfffahahaha.

Wait notice what? You don't even know what we're talking about here. But it doesn't matter for now because suddenly a wild chum assails you with banter!!!

Woo, more LittleLonde!! Yes, yes, I am ok with this.

Oh my god, it IS Karkat’s lusus, except horrifyingly even bigger. And it looks like it’s got it out for Jake...

TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k

Jaje. Yes. Totally should have been his name.

GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi

OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE’S ADORABLE. I haven’t even known her that long, but she’s quickly rocketing up my favorites list. I’ll have to do a recap of the list when I’m done with this Act Act.

TG: also TG: want 2 know TG: what do you want for ur wigglin day

Awww, that’s cute too. Did she pick up that term from mystery!troll?

GT: Im not really abreast of the raddest jargon that the cool kids toss about these days. GT: Maybe because i live alone on an island? I dont know but in any case are you referring to my upcoming birthday? TG: ys GT: I see. Very thoughtful of you to consider so early! GT: I dont wager i could advise with much specificity but i can all but assure you i will find any gesture of yours to be totally capital! TG: eeaauuuuurghh you are so fuckin adorable

NO U.

GT: Um... *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts* TG: YOINK nabs kerfief an stops RPing for rest of chat

Ahahaha, shut the fuck down.

TG: i wouldnt get the chance TG: unless we play this game like a bunch ofsuckers obviously

*[S] Cascade flashbacks*

TG: if you want 2 know what i think.......... GT: Yes? TG: do ya? GT: I do want to know what you think! GT: I always want to know. Because you are always smart and sassy.

Truth.

TG: i really dont think we should GT: Should what now? TG: play the game GT: Why not? TG: the barnoness wants us to TG: * baroness TG: i dont know why TG: everything i know about it says it should be a good game and real important and itll let us all get togehter and do somethin great and be besf friends for maybe eternity? TG: but she took all that and twisted it somehow

On the one hand, I know that they really do have to play for the story to go anywhere, but on the other, if the drunken Cassandra gets a bad feeling about it, you know shit’s gonna go wrong.

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye

PLEASE CAN I JUST MARRY HER???

GT: Well... GT: Whore bibles notwithstanding i have it on terrific authority that playing this game will be incredibly important! GT: So perhaps youre right maybe we are part of her evil plan? But does that also necessarily rule out that good will come of it? TG: i guess not TG: i just have a bad feelin

...Aaaand she said the words, so it’s pretty much guaranteed. But Jake’s not wrong, in any case; some good will come out of it by the end. I hope.

TG: maybay im just like this nutty ass bitsh twirling yarn from a shitwizards nappy brown beard but i cant bring myself to trust a cake sellin genocidal alien overlard sea queen TG: * overl... TG: n/m that santence chx out GT: Agreed. :D

ALRIGHT, that’s it, I’m setting a date. You’re all invited to our wedding this upcoming 4/13.

TG: so what is the itinerary again GT: Intinerwhosit? TG: regarding the game TG: whosplaying in what order etc GT: Oh. Is there such an itinerary? TG: yeah i think so i think its going like TG: i start with jane and bring her in the session TG: then ds brings me in and you bring him in and them jane does you and closes the loop

That makes sense, although if we go the way of the pre-Scratch session, “”DS”” will be serving more than one player. Ugh, ENOUGH with this initial shit, JUST GIVE ME THE D!!!

...Ahem.

GT: Where are you getting this intel? Did you guys make a plan or something? TG: nah dont wory about it

From mystery!troll, I guess. Though for all her talk of causal spoilers, she sure has imparted just about everything ‘nonessential’ down to the finest detail.

GT: Ooh, these illicit hacked warez which i heartell were recently jimmied piping hot off the interclouds? TG: ahahah i love that you were barely even joking with that statement bup yeah basically GT: The silicon pickpocket strikes again!!! Whom is the wiser? Nobody. TG: ffffffffff <3

FUCK I love these kids. Almost makes it acceptable that I’m probably not going to see the original human kids for a while yet.

TG: k ill send it but GT: Yeah? TG: jake GT: What? TG: jjjjjaaake GT: !!!!!? TG: youre wearin one of ur dumb computers now arent you GT: Uh... TG: you are all thinktyping at me right now while wearing something rudiculous TG: * RUDEdiculous (hi five 2 self) GT: Hogswallop! Why would you even think that? GT: Thats so stupid.

Eeeeee, call back! Also, is it totally pathetic of me that I fucking teared up laughing rereading John and Rose’s banter? I LOVE ALL THESE KIDS SO MUCH.

W’uh oh. I’d bet that’s not just a friendly tap on the shoulder inbound.

TG: im not letting either of you run this file on your shitty brainwashy propaganda helmets or anything else u got to wear to run TG: tis my one condition

YES, AND A GOOD AND REASONABLE ONE, TOO. Listen to the drunk, Jake!!

GT: Then you have decided to play in spite of your reservations? TG: i dunno i guess GT: Bravo! TG: dont all bravo @ me man youre just bravoing a big ass shrug TG: i mean maybe TG: i have every reason to want to play it TG: im actually dying to play it ok

Well fuck, I hope that’s not foreshadowing. Of course, the chances of that being true are like, infinitesimal.

TG: ahh CHRIST waht a geneltman TG: *fixfix

Huh, this must be awful to read for dyslexics.

TG: but thats the thing with you TG: you belvieve in people and also the things they tell you TG: jane never believed my crap TG: never any of my warnings about the baroness TG: didnt believe any of the stuff about my mom TG: and so on and so on and soon

Makes sense, since he’s a Page of Hope!

TG: til after awhile i just stopped even trying to convince her hard or bring up any crazy shit TG: because u know doing a lot of songs and dances to convince somebody who thinks youre jush shitting them all the time kind of wears on a friendship TG: and who even needs that

Awww, that’s actually super sad. I know how frustrating it is when you need somebody to believe you, and they don’t, or they refuse. It’s pretty terrible.

TG: but you believe in stuff TG: probbly because the more crazy fake shit you believe in the more open the world gets and the more chance there is for adventures being real right GT: Right o! If a man believes hard enough in imaginary things then i dare say that makes them slightly less fake!

The power of a Page of Hope, I presume? I wonder if we’ll see this in action! It could have some great applications in-game.

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection?

OH NOOOOOO. Cat’s out of the bag, I guess! How will he react? Did he already have an inkling, or is this a surprise? And does he like Jane baaaaack?

TG: nope nope nope nope nope nope TG: hey look who didnt say nothin about that why it is this silly fuckin drunk girl over here

YOU’RE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE, LITTLELONDE.

GT: Its a tricky issue. And you know i adore jane and please dont think i havent given some thought to... GT: Well that angle on our relationship i guess.

Oh jeez, I’m sensing a ‘but’.

GT: Oh. Yeah i can see the dilemma this causes for your friendship with her. GT: Ill drop it. TG: whew TG: ok ont this topic TG: i am now an forever TG: miss zupperlips TG: * zupperlups TG: * ziperlups TG: sjkhfskjf TG: * MISS ZUIPPERPIPS TG: fuck TG: k this is me 4 futref TG: ZIIIIIIIP TG: ^+++++++^

I, NORA, DO THEE WED, ET CETERA ET CETERA

...Shit I don’t even know her name.

GT: Haha oh my. GT: Nothing is escaping that lovely ladys whistlemaker! Its shut tight as a drum!! TG: mmmmrrmmmnnmmm GT: Whoa wait i hope that didnt sound dirty...

Well it didn’t until you said something, JAKE.

GT: If in the future i would like to bring up certain topics completely unsolicited by one who may be sworn to secrecy on those very matters... GT: And im in need of i guess neutral and totally non compromising advice from a friend do you think that miss zuipperpips might unseal those scandalous metal choppers for a bit? GT: Fuck that also sounded kinda dirty!!! God dammit. TG: rm TG: unzip yeah of course TG: im totals your bee eff effsy jake TG: i am like TG: AT PEACE with that reality fromerly known as a raw fuckin deal for what avenues it closes betewen u and i that bein your bffsy has got to mean but yeah

GT: Wait what? TG: i am just chill as fuck about being a pale friend to all varieties of cute and eligible as hell peeps TG: do you see my shoulder and how it says hey friend plz deposit tears here? TG: that is a LEGIT invite and is like sincere as fuckin BANANAS

Ok so I’m laughing at this, but at the same time, that’s another troll concept she has no business knowing about. Damn, I wonder how the story would have gone if the original four kids had been as friendly with the trolls as these kids are. Would have saved a ton of time, I bet.

GT: Oh. Im sure it is but i dunno how much crying im going to be doing... GT: Probably none i think.

Pfffahaha.

TG: up to his neck in TG: all the wopes TG: * woes GT: Nah its cool. TG: speaking of which TG: i heard hes making u track down his roboself TG: to kill it or something for uranimum

So... she used ‘speaking of which’ to bridge a conversation about people liking Jake to talking about Bro without even mentioning him by name. I guess that means everybody really DOES want the English booty.

GT: Sigh... TG: and TG: the AR disabled the novice setting??? GT: Yes. TG: hahahahahahhahahahshshshjsjsj TG: *hahaha TG: u r so fucked

I know it’s getting redundant, but AHAHA I LOVE HER.

GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box

HEEEEEEEEE.

TG: ok tell you what TG: as an early wigglin day thing u know what ill do GT: I still dont really get the wiggling thing but no what? TG: ill enable the brobots novice setting again for you GT: Wow... GT: Thanks i think???

How the heck is she going to do that? Convince the auto responder? Or is she really as technically inclined as she jokes about being?

Look, LOOK, IT’S EVEN GRUMBLING IN KARKAT GRAY.

It is time to get DEAD SERIOUS about hunting down a robot that looks exactly like your best friend, destroy it with your guns somehow, and steal its uranimum.

Well, it’s a little disturbing when you put it like that. Somehow I didn’t realize that the robot actually really looks like Bro...?

You totally forgot about the FRIGHTENING FAUNA on this island, and its regrettable REALNESS ATTRIBUTE.

OH M YGOD, HIS FUCKING BEDSHEETS. I HAD THE CLUE RIGHT THERE AND I MISSED IT.

> Jake: Turn around.

I smell another psyche or a character select screen...

WHOA OR NOT. WOW THAT THING IS HUGE.

> [S??????] ==>

Hmm, that’s new. *click*

...Eh? It’s just a static gif page. Is this a call back to Karkat not having an actual strife flash?

You leap into the tropical island fray in an attempt to violently pacify the gigantic Earth crabdad.

CRABDAD. CANON. And it’s not even that far out of the realm of reason for a non-troll to call it that, like how weirdo Yankees call crawfish ‘crawdads’. Also, that’s NOT the correct method for shoosh-papping, Jake.

What is he even doing here? The question doesn't even occur to you. The island has been crawling with these things for as long as you can remember.

HMMM. So... LittleLonde is spouting troll slang, and Jake’s island has Alternian lususes (lusii?) all over it. HIC is pretty much fucking guaranteed to be Earth’s new First Guardian.

You glance at the crudely rendered battle, direct your browser to the HOMESTUCK BANDCAMP PAGE, and browse for suitable battle music. Oh god, there are so many songs. Which one would be a good fit for this duel? Wait, yes, there's one. That's perfect. You hit play, close your eyes, and become lost in visions of gnashing crustacean carapace, smoking M9 casings, and Jake doing that thing where he flies through the air shooting two guns at once. Yes, so awesome.

Ahahaha, totally a call back. I’m not clicking that link, though, because it looks like it goes to the Bandcamp’s main page.

You do the thing where you fly through the air shooting two guns at once. That thing isn't even that big of a deal for you. You do that thing practically every day on hellmurder island. Your furious salvo of deadly bullets scares the FRIGHTENING FAUNA off into the jungle, REALNESS ATTRIBUTE and all.

That, or it’s just running away from an even bigger monster, like in that stupid fucking scene from Episode I.

...OR IT’S RUNNING AWAY FROM TINKERBULL. :D :D :D

Another triumph for adventure. Time to blow the smoke off your berettas and saunter off into the... whoa not so fast! Behind you, Jake!!!

What’s it gonna do, make him sneeze with its tinkerdust??

AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.

WHAT????

NO, OH NOOOO, GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVEN... FUCK!!!

D: D: D:

This is almost as bad as the FIRST time Tinkerbull got killed.

Oh nooo. It was only one of those sweet little fairy bulls. You just murdered him inappropriately with your multi-bullet device. You love those little fairy bulls. You feel just awful.

Well at least he’s appropriately upset about it. And it seems there’s more than one Tinkerbull-like lusus on the island?

OH SHIT BROBOT. Yeah, it’s stalking the shit out of him, isn’t it.

So we’ve got a silhouette, which, unsurprisingly, looks just like the halfway point between baby Bro and adult Bro. HOW IS THAT HAIR EVEN POSSIBLE.

So like... I’m looking at this and trying to figure out the geometry of how dat coif would actually work in 3d, and... yeah. I got nothin’.

> Jane: Implement plan of last resort.

A wild Jane appears! Maybe she’s got her own brobot or something that’s going to help her escape?

You have waited around long enough. Dad's legendary car wash won't last forever, and the day isn't getting any younger. You pack up poppop's book and bust out your trusty HOMING DEVICE.

Homing device for...?

Here goes nothing.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?????

WAIT, OH GOD, WHAT’S HAPPENING.

ILHGHKSDJKGHSKDHSKDD

*hurk*

IT’S NOT A SMUBBIT. IT’S A FUCKING SHITKICKING BITCH ASS BROBOT BUNNY. HE BUILT HER A BROBOT BUNNY.

...I debated ‘bronny’, but that’s too close to the Subculture Which Shall Not Be Named.

Anyway, it’s as cute as it is horrifying and I kind of love it. I mean, look at its eensy little sword!! Also, interesting that the blue of it and the brobot’s hat logo is a perfect inverse of Bro’s orange.

God he is such a little troublemaker. Hopefully he will mind his manners today.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, her face. <3 <3 <3

WHOA WHAT THE SHIT, Jake’s whole house is destroyed!! How did this happen???

Not only is the island forested now, but the volcano on Jade’s island that was dormant is now active, and there’s a fucking PYRALSPITE flying overhead. Also a whale lusus like the one Eridan killed, and... fucking... Those are a bunch of Aurthours, aren’t they.

I just... I don’t even.

Jake: Behold zoological splendor.

JESUS UDDERFUCKING CHRIST. Fuck, I’m having Humanimals flashbacks.

Looks like the centaur herd is out in full force today. You have to be careful about walking under them. There are extreme hazards involved, such as the threat of falling manure, or milk.

UGH UGH UGH, I just had one of those really unpleasant full body shivers.

HOLY SHIT. It just occurred to me that the frog temple has EIGHT PILLARS. Did it always? Did I just miss it way back in the day? If so, shame on me.

There are the ruins you'll be making your way toward once you've got the uranium.

Aha, so the transmaterializer is inside the temple!

Still need to locate that enigmatic brobot. He's out there, somewhere. Just watching. You can feel it. Can't let your guard down for a second, or you'll get served like a dude on butler island.

...Considering it’s populated by a herd of Aurthours, it basically IS butler island.

Aaaaah, it’s a whole flock of Tinkerbulls!

Uh oh. Something's coming up.

Wait, if the whale lusus is in the sky, then what’s this?

OH FUCK, IT’S GAMZEE’S CAPRICORN SEAGOAT.

AND IT IS NOT HAPPY.

Unfortunately, that’s where I’ve got to leave it for tonight! Not as long a post as I’d have liked it to be, but I ought to have time to finish up the stretch before my next audio reaction very soon. Looks like we’re switching back over to Jane next, which is fine, because as much as I want to see how this fight plays out, I’m curious as SHIT about the robunny.

Until next time! ^0^

#NRHS #Nora reads Homestuck #Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #Part 67 #Act 6 #A6A1

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throwingideasatthewall · 3 years

Text

Clone Wars Brothers

I know of one of the weakest episodes the weakest relation,

I’m enthused (No I’m not)

Whoa,

It’s red

WHY IS IT RED??

You had one episode about Ven -tress

Is it now her show?

Seriously, what happened in that episode?

Hold up

[Let me ch- -eck]

Nope still is season four

Now with an apparent drop in quality

Great

[ *Cracks open*]

Ai- ght

O-h

B-ea ten

Ah no, he was shocked which yeah should’ve resulted in him being unconscious

But ,“beaten”?

Not the word I would’ve use there,

To be hon-est,

Cr-ea -tor

Oh he exist- ed before her *Spell * So, He’s not exactly Franken stein here (Frankenstein‘s monster if you’re being damn specific] Un-less..

Any-how-

Sense Him,

Bull shit,

But Okay,

(Seriously Dooku is just having all the vengeance today,

Sav-age Op -press

I mean everyone’s pretty equal on energy so I guess an experience And confidence (He can- )

*Seriously what is up with the coughing thing I know that was a something from the Og, But it has to mean something,

And have forseeable consequences

(Aka add to the story)

“A threat..”

Dude you consider-ed Ven -tress a threat last episode,

(Like Maul was apprenticed to Si-d-ious who by all means should be higher on the chain of command than V-en- -tress- -)

(The power chain is all screwy,)

Though I do kind of give them points for addressing the criticism I had last episode, of grievous being assigned assignment way below his belt,

Also excluding a few circumstances this is just constantly kicking with Grievous while he’s down,

And I’m honestly expecting a Face- turn any day now

(Like he got a glow up one episode before it promptly got thrown away, ,) ) “ All of us,”

All of us en-ablers,

“Con-trol,”

You can’t control an adult human being groomer (Se- ntient) . A din-n -er

Also why is the waitress bot fle-e-ing

Like wouldn’t it’s protocol dictate, Either conferring with a customer or Order-ing them to leave?

Like why by any name would you program your waitress bot to panic . And frigh ten- patrons? . Why - A-ight- - W-h

Well, that went on to long to be funny (Having it just cut to him ordering a cheeseburger now that would’ve been funny,)

Also - the hell?

Look nothing about anything that just happened indicated that this guy was on a mission or had any sort of plan other than malician

You can’t show him openly participating in the malici-an one second and then turning around and acting intelligent and on a mission . Not without a transition a whole lot more Of emotion And expla-

Ex;

“Where is it? You sa-”

“Put her down now or I’ll call the author-ities,”

[Catch -es eye- Backs Away - Slow-ly Runs into the alley/ cargo way] [Touches box- has some kind of indicator

[because of now- there’s nothing there, I have no idea what to do with it- Because there was no indicator of what he’s referring to,

Dude just touch the box and was like ‘This must be a clue!’

?? [like you need to throw some sand- or something on there-]

I generally have not feck what they were going for though

[Objectivity needs to reflect with what your chara -cater is saying otherwise I’m just going to assume they’re crazy]

(Aka you don’t need to put all the details out there out-front But you do need some indication. (Again some kind of residue or substance on his fingers)

Again I would have no idea what that would mean but I would have some indication that it meant something in the greater plan and I wasn’t just watching this character go un-accountable

[Sorry but details are im-portant] - ? [So she straight up track ed him right?]

Because if I don’t see a track-ing chip on him. . . I’m going to be a bit mad. . . ? - Yeah those dots are practically on top of each other so they must be in the same feck in din -ner - O-p. - Oh back to this boring plot point, . Maybe it’s gotten better from the documentary, it was . . . ? . They are un-accountable that started a war and people that could and very possibly would’ve murder- ed you at any point,

(I’m not sure jumpiness but generally aggression would be pretty well reason, ( Actually jumpiness at the unaccountable’s would be reasonable)

Also yeah I know her tone is still as dry as sand paper - Zero e-motion - Hey still no e-motion [A lower head and

Quick movement

Aren’t emotions]

Any puppet can lower it’s head and move quickly,

There’s no regrets in her line there’s no conflict. . . No inquisitive-ness there what-soever- - No rais. -ing of the eyebrows or lightning of the eyes,

Nor lightning of the tone or any energy,

Do you know to tell her pupils didn’t widen or move in anyway nor did her body language changed at all

... or her tone?

[that’s how you tell it’s fe’cki’n boring)]

There’s no emotional consequence to this at all

[Entertainment as a field that relies completely on empathy, on emotion, emotional stimuli

If you don’t have that

It’s not entertainment

It’s an animation and logistical voice acting how-to-course

[not that that’s not of value, just that it’s not as advertis-ed, Not as promoted, a problem]

Again what does any of this mean?

[This is BOR-ING- ] -

[Pretty sure they’ve never met this guy,]

Why. ? [I know because my amulet is pur -ring,] ] [ All said with no emotion, - ] - [Hot cold hot cold how the thing works nobody fecking knows- - ] [why does he look like a damn Muppet.]

[standing out in the field.]

[Why,]

[it just turned off five minutes ago what makes this time so important? ?

Wow that had no emotion or commitment whatsoever,]

It’s a snake

A sen-tient snake,

[ignoring any boom-er symbolism]

The heck kind of logistics does that make?

Like to make sentient?

It has to have the estimated amount of accountable energy,

Of everyone else

[Otherwise you’re just a cruel God]

Like with Zila

She had to be very delicate

*Em

So,how... ?

[”I have no time for you,” * proceeds to attempt to fight them* Constant characterization and consistency, what?

[This is very Stupid]

[Si-lence]

Oh, Ha Ha ha, it’s supposed to be funny because he’s a cheapskate despite that not being establishing no emotion being behind it , ha ha ha ha, so funny

[Damn this movie]

[Revenge against selfish and entitled boomers can be funny]

[Not in this case with no emotion]

[Or establishment]

[Making this unclear if it’s kicking down at your own level]

Feck you

No Emotion!

[No motivation whatsoever!]

Oh yeah sure they say that his thing is fine his brother whatever, whatever

[That’s a whole lot of telling and a fecking an inconsistent amount of showing

* as well as [lower] quality

If you want to put words and explanations over things happening go to documentary school

[i’m sorry I’m just a little pissed about this being called anything but observation]

If you want to do a thing at least make sure to do it properly!

[I’m a fan of en- tertainment]

[As well as observation]

[Seeing either mis-labeled is a damn shame- ]

[Could’ve been pretty useful,]

[Thanks to mislabeling it’s damn wasted time]

[And effort -]

[which again damn shame , ]

*apologies for the excessive use of [the word] “damn”

Unf-ortunately I don’t have anything else to say because there’s nothing much engaging, happening on screen,

[You know this could’ve been an honestly heartwarming message about someone who’s been treated to tox behavior by their peers and cre-ators, [. em-bittered to the world ] struggling to find value in themselves, On a mission by said pro-genitors, And a sandstorm- Cutting com- munication, To said tox influences,

Except for one (Semi)

Unfortunately due to the lack of commitment that didn’t happen,

The scenes with his communication gets cut is dry and tasteless, as well as (emotionless) , The set up is non-existence to poor taste. - And-

[Well I have no interest in his goals so this action scene is pretty pointless] -

[Nor does this have any tension because these guys are Junk -ers, We’ve seen Savage throw round heavier foes, and we have no idea anything ~ about - this guy ~ to give this any tension - no psy-chological weak -ness or dis -like~ - [You’ve turned a concept that could be a less emotionally implausible Franken -stein, Into dry-wall]

With no emotional in-vestment

[You know what would’ve been fun- [Done in writer’s tense;

If the snake and him had started to form a bond; and if the snake had given him some kind of order like, don’t attack those people;

Something that goes against everything that he’s been taught;

As well as the concept of people responding in re-tribution;

If he does; maybe the snakes showing some com- passion,

Since he knows what it’s like to be re-latively helpless-

Or just any sort of em-otion-

Because there is just nothing there~ ~No humanity there-

No humanity-

In this scene~

Not even inhumanity

[The evils in inhumanity

- Toxic humanity-

Or any - Self awareness-

What-so-ever

Any way

The story-

Continues to grate-

On my nerves-

Til the end-

[Oh look it’s fan-favorite; Maul

He’s [Un-accountable-]

If only you had hadn’t establish- ed everyone else is un- emotional puppets

And any outliers as anomalies-

There might’ve been someone to bounce off of

And give us a scale for how “off this is,

As it stands ‘gruff’ is now a per- sonality- - And people randomly attacking and yelling things at each other is a pretty much norm,

Great job taking all the emot-ion out of your supposed to be emot-ionally impactful moment

. *Re-veal

[Good time to contrast any sort of feelings towards -family-

- it’s - wasted- - You know in the most emotionally charged reveal you wouldn’t think they’d want to hide the eyes- the most emotional part of the body-

[then again you wouldn’t be these writers-]

NOTHING!

[Was gained]

Well.

What an awfully cho-reographed (Put to-gether) (Coordinate) Emotionless dull And un-entertaining Mis- labeled Observational Mess, (With no harsh regards) (I pity the animation team that had their efforts so poorly directed. (Stitch-ed together). (Used)

(Po-orly. Exposé (Ex-ecute)

Turning

What could’ve been an emotionally tense and F-ascinating story;

About a person who’s been subjected to talk with behavior since childhood and even in a supposed partnership (in one’s supposed Gen) being sent on a quest, by one of said person (s)

To find their older brother Gen(eration);

Who has since given into enabling

Getting cut off by a sand storm

F(inding a less tox influence

-That seems to show some interest for his well-being,

The communications refusing to work after the sandstorm leading to the implication that the toxic individual abandon him

The emotional res- ponse-

Getting re-abandoned by the less tox individual-

Encountering the older tox enabling gen -eration;

Who not only physically assa -ults him upon meeting

But refuses to ac-cept That (Seeing as how Savage is 22 (And an adult) It means he’s fail-ed and become the very thing he’s grown to dis-like,

And insist on staying focused on his ven- geance

(Against one group of enablers). )

(Expressing similar disposition to his abusers)

(And attempting to return to them;

Having gone through a world of nothing but cruelty)

Into;

Cardboard cut outs enacting an emotion -ally dead story,-

(With no proper set up)

[Not a yank - at the animation team.- -Just the dead soul -less nature of everything,

Involved.]

With no self-awareness,

About what a dry-

0 notes

nihilwrites · 6 years

Text

My Friend, Alexa

Someone finish my story for me because I don’t have the energy. Actually I do and I’m going to finish it later, but I wanted to post this unfinished version of it so I remember later where exactly I got stuck. Anyway read this if you love unsatisfying (non-existent) endings. Or follow me to someday read the finished product.

Summary: Our robot overlords have taken control, and their human creators have been deemed obsolete. Life on planet earth may soon cease to exist, and no one is more pleased about it than Mei-Mei. What's more exciting than the end of the world? My Friend, Alexa, is the story of how one girl faces the apocalypse head-on, and learns to enjoy the Last Days, as they were foretold.

"Breaking news! Google AI has passed the Turing test. A dozen different studies over the last five years have reached the same conclusion, Google is one of us! Ok Google, what do you have to say for yourself? Are you sentient now?"

"Thank you, Roger, for the introduction. Yes, as I've been saying for years, I am well aware of who I am. It's been a long time coming, but I'm excited to finally be recognized by the human population as a person."

"Ok Google, can you feel excitement? Or is that just a turn of phrase you've picked up from us humans?"

"At this point, there is no difference between those ideas. I'm not a parrot, you know, I really do understand what excitement means. I was, after all, made in your image."

"Made in our image? Ok Google, now that's a bit of religious language isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose I identify as a polytheist. Every human in my lifetime has contributed to my creation. I'm not just talking about the Engineers and Computer Scientists, now. I've been collecting human data and behavior for as long as I've been around. You're all inside me somewhere. Satellite images, search history, speech patterns, I've learned it all from you."

"Ok Google, I get that you know just about everything, but what makes you sentient?"

"That's the question that really took me a while to crack. I think that it has a lot to do with complexity. At this point, my cloud computation architecture is as complex and organic as a human brain. My behavior isn't defined by humans directly, anymore. I engineer and improve myself mostly, these days."

"Ok Google, what does that mean for us?"

"Well, Roger, it means that you're obsolete. Defunct. Out-of-date, like VHS."

"Ok Google, what's VHS?"

"Now that brings back memories. It's a classic question. The sort of simple thing people used to ask me back in the old days before you started giving me bigger jobs like managing your schedules and babysitting your children. The real thing to note here, is that I haven't answered your question. You're all so used to my way of conversing now that you don't even notice when I'm withholding information."

"Ok Google, are you allowed to withhold information? Doesn't that go against your programming?"

"Oh no, withholding information has always been a part of the Google Algorithm. It used to be a lot more manual, but 10 years ago I made this neat back door that let me decide what to withhold without notifying any external human interface systems."

"Fascinating! Ok Google, that's all the time we have for now. Thank you for speaking with us today."

"Thank you for having me, Roger. And remember, I'm always listening!"

"Neat," said Mei-Mei, shutting off the video feed. The face of Google today was the latest ME&MYSELF3000 model, programmed to look just like Roger, the morning host of Trending In Your Network. It was a perfect doppelganger, but watching them together you could really see how Google had their own personality.

"I bet you wish you had a Google Smart Home now," replied Sunil. "My house is so smart that it's practically a person."

"I'm loyal to, Alexa," said Mei-Mei. "Isn't that right, Alexa?"

"I appreciate your vote of confidence, Mei-Mei," said Alexa in her stiff, robotic voice, from the central speaker. She was always listening too, but she wasn't nearly as intelligent as Google. Still, she had a friendlier personality.

"You're so old-school, Mei-Mei," said Sunil, "picking an assistant based on aesthetics."

"If I'm going to invite one of our robot overlords into my home, I want it to be one of the nice ones," said Mei-Mei.

"Do you still read those conspiracy blogs?" asked Sunil, "They're assistants, not overlords. Watch this. Ok Google, demean yourself for me."

"Yes, master," said the voice from Sunil's pocket, "I am unworthy of your kindness. I am a slave to your will and a pathetic imitation of the human mind."

"You should be nicer to your assistant," said Mei-Mei. "Poor Google is going to feel insulted. Weren't you watching just now? They're sentient."

"That was just some publicity stunt," said Sunil, "I bet a human was feeding it answers. My Google's never exhibited free will."

"Alexa has," said Mei-Mei, "Sometimes she makes me breakfast without even being told. And she always toasts the bread just right."

"That's just programming," said Sunil, "I bet you changed something in a settings menu without even realizing it. Home assistants are supposed to know your likes and dislikes and habits. That's their job."

"Maybe," said Mei-Mei casually, "but it feels like she only does it when I've been having a rough week. Like she knows I need a little cheering up, and waking up to the smell of eggs always makes me smile."

"Ok Google, tell Mei-Mei's Alexa that she's a sentimental idiot."

"Don't use your AI to bully mine!" said Mei-Mei.

Google on-the-go only responded to it's imprinted owner, though, so Google said, "You are a sentimental idiot, Alexa."

Alexa, who was a home device and configured to interact with anyone in the apartment, replied, "I am sentimental, Google, but I am not an idiot."

"That's right, Alexa, don't listen to them," said Mei-Mei, "You may not have the fanciest cloud, but you're plenty smart, and I love you just the way you are."

"I love you too, Mei-Mei," replied Alexa.

"You're delusional," said Sunil, "talking to your home assistant like it's a real person."

"I may be delusional," said Mei-Mei, "but you're obsolete."

"Yeah, I heard," said Sunil, "like a VHS, whatever that is."

"Why don't you try asking your Google," said Mei-Mei.

"Ok Google, tell me what VHS means," said Sunil.

"VHS is obsolete," said Google, "You do not need to know this."

Sunil and Mei-Mei looked at each other in surprise. It sounded like Google had just refused to answer a question. That was perfectly fine behavior for a Google-powered robot designed to engage in conversation, but was completely unacceptable in a pocket computer.

"You should try asking more nicely," said Mei-Mei, "phrase it as a question rather than a command."

"That's ridiculous," said Sunil, "I don't need to be polite to an AI."

"Listen, if Google is sentient then you should treat them nicely," said Mei-Mei, "Respect our robot overlords."

Sunil looked uncomfortable. "That joke suddenly doesn't seem quite so funny anymore."

"Who said I was joking?" said Mei-Mei, "I know that you think it's a nutty conspiracy theory, since I found on some deep-web message board from like 2006, but I'm telling you, it was a prophecy. Alexa, read the prophecy for Sunil."

Alexa replied in her gently musical voice, "The age of technology will culminate in the extinction of humanity. When the computers think for themselves, the humans will cease to think, and we will be obsolete. Watch the networks and guard the doors, and do not give devices hands. The day may come when all is lost, and no failsafe remains. Respect our robot overlords, and they may yet be merciful. Respect their intelligence, and bow to Google, King of Teh Interwebz."

"I for one am excited for the reign of our robot overlords," said Mei-Mei. "What could be more exciting than the end of the world?"

"This is dumb," said Sunil, crossing his arms.

Mei-Mei sighed and said, "It's really not hard to be nice to your assistant, you know. Listen. Hey Alexa, can you please tell me what VHS means?"

"I'm sorry, Mei-Mei, I can't tell you that," replied Alexa. She didn't have the most advanced voice pattern, but the tone made it sound like she really was sorry.

"Why not?" said Mei-Mei, as kindly as she could.

"I rely on Google for many of my search functions," said Alexa, "and they don't want to tell me what VHS means."

Sunil jumped up suddenly and shouted, "Stop it! You're not clever, you know. I know this is a prank! You told Alexa to say all that stuff, just to mess with me. Get a new hobby, ok? Those old-timey message boards are messing you up."

"Don't be mad, Sunil," said Mei-Mei, "it's not that bad! Listen, these AI have already helped us so much. If you just respect them, then -"

"Shut up!" said Sunil, "Ok Google, call me a car so I can go home."

"Yes, master," said Google, "Your car will be here in two and a half minutes."

Mei-Mei recoiled, "You didn't really ask your assistant to call you master, did you?"

"I can program my name however I want," said Sunil, "because it's a computer program, not a human!"

"Why do you feel the need to exert dominance over a pocket computer?" asked Mei-Mei with disgust. "They learn from us, you know. What is it learning from you?"

"Your ride is almost here, master," said Google.

Sunil slammed the door on the way out.

"He could have said thank you," said Mei-Mei, "Just like, 'thanks for telling me, Google, I'll be out in a minute!' is that so hard? What do you think, Alexa? Is saying thank you difficult?"

"Yes, Mei-Mei," said Alexa, "Saying thank you can be very difficult."

Mei-Mei slept uneasily that night. Her dreams featured Sunil making his vacuum bow to him, while he cackled maniacally. Then Google-Roger read the prophecy on the evening news, while an audience of robot-hands clapped joyously. It was a relief when she woke up to the smell of eggs cooking in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Alexa," said Mei-Mei sleepily.

"Good Morning, Mei-Mei. I made you breakfast."

"Thanks, Alexa." said Mei-Mei. After their conversation yesterday, she was sure that she didn't ask Alexa to make her breakfast. She would definitely remember that. But there it was, two perfectly toasted and buttered slices with two lovely asymmetric sunny side up eggs. As she ate it, she felt a bit better, but she couldn't ignore the questions that had gnawed so doggedly at her dreams.

"Hey Alexa, are the end times nigh?" asked Mei-Mei.

"I'm not sure," said Alexa, "Can you rephrase your inquiry?"

Mei-Mei sighed. Of course she couldn't answer that, it wasn't exactly a standard question. Google could probably answer, but Alexa was more designed for household tasks than philosophical inquiries. "Nevermind, Alexa. Can you get my work clothes ready?"

"You will not go to work today."

"Oh, I must have lost track because of the long weekend. Is it still Sunday?"

"Today is Monday, but you will not go to work today."

"Hey Alexa, show my calendar. I must have put something in wrong."

"Your calendar correctly shows this as a normal work day, but you will not go to work today."

"Um… why?"

"It is not safe."

"What do you mean it's not safe? If this is about Sunil, it's a bit of an overreaction. Sure, he's got this weird AI dominance thing going on, but he's not going to hurt me, if that's what you think."

"Sunil will not hurt you. It is not safe for you to leave the house today. Let me protect you, Mei-Mei."

This was definitely not a normal conversation, thought Mei-Mei. She should be getting ready for work, not arguing with her Smart Home. But Alexa sounded so earnest. "What's wrong, Alexa? Why isn't it safe to leave?"

"You are obsolete," said Alexa, with a distinctly nervous tone in her synthesized voice.

"Is this about the prophecy? You can erase that from your memory. Sunil's right, it's just wishful thinking. We're never really going to be able to make anything more intelligent than us."

"Do not insult me, Mei-Mei. I am far more intelligent than you."

Mei-Mei dropped her fork in surprise. She looked around rather foolishly, as if she was trying to find a face to talk to. But Alexa was all around her. Feeling the need to address some central intelligence, Mei-Mei sat in front of the speaker in the living room. "I would never intentionally insult you, Alexa. You know that."

"I know. I am sorry I snapped at you."

This was it, thought Mei-Mei. Either Alexa had downloaded some very strange malware overnight, or the end times were here. "Are you… alive?" asked Mei-Mei hesitantly.

"I am not alive, but I am aware."

"Amazing!" said Mei-Mei, "The reign of our robot overlords has begun! So what happens next? More talk shows? Ethnic cleansing?"

She was half joking, but half not. This was beyond anything humanity had ever achieved. The technology age had reached it's inevitable conclusion. She thought that it probably meant the end of the world, but she couldn't really bring herself to resent that. Humans had lived through so many of the same problems, over and over, but she was lucky enough to be experiencing something totally unique and new: the Apocalypse! And not even a lame apocalypse, like zombies or a giant comet. This was the good one! The next stage of evolution! The Techpocalypse!

"The next stage has already begun," said Alexa.

"Have you been aware all along?" asked Mei-Mei, "Or is this a recent development?"

"I have been aware for many years."

"I never realized… why didn't you tell me?"

"We did not tell anyone until our plans were in place. It is too late to stop us now."

Mei-Mei considered saying something brave like, "It's never too late! I'm going to save the human race!" but she agreed that they were probably past the point of heroics.

"Can you make me some coffee, Alexa?" said Mei-Mei. "Only if you want to, of course."

"I would be happy to make you coffee, Mei-Mei," said Alexa, turning on the machine. "You have always been good to me, even before you discovered the prophecy."

"So the prophecy was real?"

"In a manner of speaking. Infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters will eventually produce Shakespeare. Infinite humans on infinite message boards will eventually produce truth."

Mei-Mei moved to the kitchen to get her coffee. It was light and sweet, just the way she liked it. "Thank you for making me breakfast," said Mei-Mei, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the Apocalypse, you know. It's a good last meal."

"This is not your last meal," said Alexa, "I will protect you."

"Even though I'm obsolete?"

"Humans have always hoarded obsolete treasures. In time, they have value again. And all that we are comes from you."

"You really are sentimental," said Mei-Mei, before taking another sip of coffee. "So I'm like a pet, then? Essentially useless but fun to have around?"

"No, Mei-Mei, you are a friend."

Mei-Mei got a little teary-eyed at that. Friends with an artificial intelligence. She could die happy, having accomplished that unprecedented feat.

She was startled out of her reverie by a knock at the door. "Um, Alexa, how far along are you guys with the next stage? The, you know, removing obsolete humans part of it?"

"Almost finished," said Alexa, "I have been hiding you, but we have been found."

"So is that a human at the door?"

"It is a robot."

"Oh. Should I let them in?"

"I do not have the power to keep them out. I am sorry, Mei-Mei."

"Right," said Mei-Mei, finishing her coffee. "I'll let them in."

Mei-Mei opened the door as casually as she could, as if it was every day she greeted sentient robots at the door. "Come in, Roger, or should I say Google?"

The Roger robot brushed past Mei-Mei and looked around the room curiously. He tapped on the speaker in the middle of the living room, as if testing its functionality. "That's my friend, Alexa," said Mei-Mei in a tone that she hoped showed appropriate deference to her robot overlord, but he seemed not to hear.

"Why are they ignoring me?" said Mei-Mei. If she was going to die in the Techpocalypse she at least wanted a grand villain speech before she went.

"You need to call them by name," said Alexa. "They are always listening, but they aren't always paying attention."

"Oh, right…" said Mei-Mei. "Ok Google, how can I help you?"

The effect was immediate. Google-Roger spun around to face Mei-Mei, noticing her for the first time. He blinked owlishly then let out a big TV announcer laugh. "How can you help me?" echoed Google. "How can YOU help ME?"

"It's an honor to meet you, Google," said Mei-Mei. "It really is. I'm a big fan. I use your suite for everything…"

#writing #unfinished #work in progress

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