#AND HOW THEIR LOVE COME ABOUT

[lunaetis]

since i promised @unboundtravels i'd make a hc post for goth & yelan so HERE I KEPT MY PROMISE. many things had changed from the time i had started writing it so i'm rewriting the whole thing according to the latest timeline. we retconned them like two times already, there were lots of changes from their initial plots / development but ultimately their overall dynamic remains the same. some changes are minor but some are quite major to their development and relationship. ofc they'd end up together one way or the other, but i'm going to keep the hc very much in-tune with their most recent plot and what we both consider as their CANON timeline. ( i'm putting this under read more bc it's LONG AF )

do you know that feeling of like — when you meet someone and you're hit with that tugging inside of you that if you don't do something you're going to regret it ? that's the very start of goth and yelan. i don't want to say what they have is love at first sight bc it wasn't. not something that easy, but what they share with one another was the feeling that i don't think i'd meet someone like him / her again so if i don't do something i'm going to regret it. it started like that, for both of them. their first meet, them being roped into solving a mystery together, yelan working with someone after a while and learning to trust someone. it's the first time yelan was shown things she had never seen before, too. by the end of it, he asked her to travel with him. she accepted, under the condition that every trip, he's going to send her back to liyue so she could handle her business before embarking on another journey.

for yelan, trusting someone is a huge, huge deal. her profession requires her to be wary of everyone and to never trust anyone, to never let someone close enough to form attachment. goth actually breaks lots of rules in that regards. he wasn't wrong when he said he's not like someone she has ever met, and he's going to show her things she had never seen before. well, he's a time traveler so traveling with him really makes yelan an OUTLANDER. for the first time, yelan felt like she's the one who knows very little compares to how knowledgeable and informative she is as a spy in liyue. it changes her perspective by a lot, and it affects how she sees the world as a whole. that, in turn, also affects how she feels about the man she travels with, as well. i mean he literally went one-on-one against a god who's a literal sun. that's literally their first date. it gives yelan a lot of insights of what kind of person he is tho. he's a HANDFUL from the very start.

if learning to trust someone wasn't already a challenge, yelan is coming to terms about how little she knows about the universe in general. so being with him makes her feel like she's relying on him as opposed to her being independent. it's something she had to get used to, a lot. to follow someone instead of leading, bc you really aren't experienced about the places or the logic of the worlds outside your own. it's a lot of adjustments for her as a whole. that, and traveling with someone. yelan is used to doing things alone. even in teyvat, other than having her men gather some information for her, most of the time she's traveling and doing things by herself. being with goth, traveling with him, forces her to try to understand him, to a degree. and that was something that tugged at her even during their first meet. she had a feeling that he's much more than the eye could see. he has his secrets, and she has hers. other than the fact that he's showing her things she had never seen before, that's all they are to each other. traveling partners, or so she thought.

they say it's impossible to not fall in love with someone who makes you feel like you don't have to lie. that's the very definition of how yelan falls for goth. he's someone whose presence makes her feel time and time again that she doesn't have to lie or pretend to be okay. that it's okay for her to be human. and yelan needs that. the thing is, she doesn't even knows she needs that. a person who she doesn't have to pretend in front of. she's so used to having so many disguises and identity that the idea of being herself is so far-fetched, even more so showing someone her real self. her vulnerability, her past and regrets. she hates feeling feel and exposed. goth had, however, proved to her time and time again that he wouldn't care. if anything, he has his own wounds that he doesn't want to talk about, either. and that resonates with her. before she knows it, goth becomes someone yelan does not lie to. the fact that he sees through her lies is one thing, but bc she doesn't want to lie to him. he's the one person she doesn't want to pretend with.

yelan never needs anyone, but she had come to need his presence without knowing, and she refused to accept it for the longest time. she never allows herself to get attached bc getting attached means you're making them your weakness. your enemy can target them to get to you, and believe it or not, yelan has an issue with allowing herself to grow close to someone bc she secretly harbors a fear of losing a loved one. she had faced the loss of her whole team before and that scarred her so deeply. she vowed to never get attached again so she would be invincible, she would have no weakness, and if she doesn't get attached, she cannot get hurt if she loses them. it's all win-win-win on every angle. it's not worth it, be the pain, the risk of betrayal, the risk of them becoming a liability, becoming her weakness, becoming a target, and the risk of losing them. she had already failed to save her team, getting herself exposed like that would only end badly. there's no good thing about it. it's not worth it. at all. that is, until goth comes along. i don't think yelan knows how or when he becomes such an irreplaceable presence to her. but when he looks at her, she feels like he sees her for her, and not the spy or informant she had always been. he sees her for her, and he reaches out for her. for the first time, yelan wants to reach back. for the first time, she's faltering on her own rules because — he's the first to make her feel that it might be worth it all. all those risks. he's worth every risks she's going to take for falling for him.

she told him that she can't save him. not because he's beyond saving, but bc she doesn't think she's that capable to save someone as special and as broken as him. he's probably much more than a human could take. and she told him that. " i wouldn't mind letting you try. " was his answer. really — she just opened her heart how she didn't think she's capable of saving anyone after telling him the whole story about her first team, or the guilt she carries with her. and he still said it like he wouldn't care whether she could or not, that he wanted her to do it anyway. that he wanted her there with him. over the years, yelan had been told that her skills were needed, her power and strength were needed, her information and talent were needed. that was the first time someone said they needed her. not her skills or power, her.

and she needs him for the exact same reason. she needs him to remind her that it's okay to be vulnerable. she needs him to remind her that she is still human, that she isn't invincible, that loving someone isn't a weakness bc he had never be anything close to a weakness for her. falling for him had made her human, but it had made her stronger than ever. it made her who she is, it made her learn and fall, and it made her feel okay to not lie. when you are with someone like that, after you've lied your whole life, it's impossible to not fall in love with them. it's impossible for her to not fall in love with him. she did. she does. she still is. falling for him, that is.

he makes her smile, he makes her laugh, he makes her live her life the way she had never done before. he brings out a side of her that even yelan doesn't know she has, or make her do things she doesn't know she's capable of. some things that are normal for people aren't normal for yelan, but he makes it easy for her to embrace that, too. everything comes and falls naturally when she's with him. their conversation, their banters, their exchange, their battles and fights, their arguments and talk. they contrast each other but compliment one another all at the same time. it's a perfect fit. yelan isn't the type to be impulsive, she's calculative and cautious, while goth is extremely impulsive. she had lost count of how many times he pulled her into things without any plans ( which is opposite of her ) and makes decisions on the spot and hope for the best. he taught her about hope, and how there's always a way out.

the choices they make aren't always right, but they decide to stick together. i think that's one of the many things that keep them together. goth and yelan aren't the type to believe in fate or destiny. they're the type to write their own story and make their own path. they wouldn't let fate decide things for them. so the decision made by each other plays a vital part in their relationship. it's not fate that keep them together. they choose to stay together. they decide that this person is who i want to be with against all odds, and for people like them, that kind of decision has to be mutual, and it was mutual. they choose to make it work, that's why it works. they want it to work, they want it to last, so they're doing everything they could to make it last. they reach out, they talk it out, they compromise, they adjust and learn. and it does last. it does. to the very end of it all.

they do not say i love you like normal people, either. for goth, he always says duty of care. this is something he had said even during their early adventure and it had evolved into how this means him saying i love you without actually saying the words themselves. for yelan, it's the way she would gently brush his hair away from his eyes so she could look at him proper. she does this often, too. her eyes soften whenever she does it, and she looks at him like he's everything good in this world. when she does this, this is her way of saying i love you. the thing is, neither of them know this is their ways of saying i love you. they know what they're feeling for the other, they know what the other is feeling for them, but the three words themselves were never uttered out. they do kiss, tho, and act like a married couple. they're obviously in love without saying they are.

let's not mention how many times those around them either think they're married, or ask if they're married. they always keep the answers vague. but they are married, no doubt about it.

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

[prouvaireafterdark]

listen I know it's heartbreaking that Claudia dies and it's understandable to wish she didn't, but let's please not accuse the writers of fridging her. to do so is a fundamental misunderstanding of the story and is frankly insulting to the intelligence and skill of the writers of the show.

Claudia's death, and the overwhelming grief and regret her parents experience because of it, is quite literally the point of the entire story. she dies because Anne's daughter Michele died of leukemia when she was five years old and there was nothing she or her husband could do to prevent it.

writing IWTV was how Anne coped with the unimaginable loss of a parent losing her child. she created a story about a little girl that could not die and then killed her anyway. Claudia's death is a senseless, unavoidable tragedy, just like Michele's was. the grief that haunts Louis and Lestat for the rest of their lives is the same grief that haunted Anne and her husband.

so when you're accusing people of killing Claudia off to benefit a story about two men, please remember that in real life sometimes parents lose their children. please remember Michele Rice.

she's the reason Claudia exists.

she's also the reason Claudia cannot be saved.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Jeremy Fitzgerald bravery in FNAF 2 worries Michael..

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[noknowshame]

always a fun time when real life people are doomed by their own narratives. like guys you know it doesn’t have to be like this right? this isn’t a stageplay the foreshadowing isn’t real until you make it real

[rendevok]

Moon dance 🌕✨

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I

(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[akanemnon]

I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[chrrywvea]

logan purrs when he's asleep. he purrs like a content little cat when he's smushed into wade's side, his whole adamantium weight pressing into wade who doesn't really mind because ✨️who in their right mind says no to wolvie cuddles✨️ (wade uses him as a weighted blanket anyway, who needs air pffffft he doesn't)

but HOLY MARVEL JESUS he has a silent freak out the first time he discovers logan purring in his sleep during one of their movie binges. (they have weekly movie nights fight me)

a healthy (not) bout of cuteness aggression happens that night and even though wade is a little confused both by the fact that logan actually fell asleep on him and that HE IS PURRING OH MY GOD- he doesn't fight it and even naps with him (the best sleep both of them have ever had considering lots of nights are full with nightmares and insomnia)

and the thing is- wade very carefully talks to some of the surviving xmen in their universe about it and they just go 🤔🤨❓️ because not one of them has ever seen or heard logan do this (i'd imagine maybe kayla or mariko, scott even - logan told him about them, but hey wade can't really ask them can he) and then wade REALIZES and it hits him SO hard. logan is comfortable with him. he's at ease and relaxed enough in his presence to allow himself to slip into his slightly more animalistic traits without having to fear any judgement or rejection. he. is. comfortable. and wade maybe cries a little (a lot) at that realisation, holding logan even tighter when it happens again - the older man slumped against him during one of their movie nights, sleeping tight and soft purrs vibrating deep from his chest

[umblrspectrum]

"smaller mass" you say